#and even what he’s open to indulging lbh in

[mxtxfanatic]

Shen Qingqiu: Of course any reasonable relationship will start with a few “no”s, but like, anyone who really wants you will just ignore that.

Luo Binghe, a person who really wants him but also knows about consent: listens when Shen Qingqiu tells him that he doesn’t want to see lbh, he doesn’t want to share a bed, he doesn’t want to engage in a kink, etc.

Shen Qingqiu:

[soulshen]

Oh, the mwah of it all

—a collection of weekly uploads of small bingqiu oneshots based on word prompts for Valentine's and the month of love because I love bingqiu too much to not write about them being idiots in love.  

Ch. 1, Feb 1  - sticky

Ch. 2, Feb 6 - kiss

Ch. 3, Feb 14 - husband + red

Ch. 4, Feb 20 -  I love you + drunk

Ch. 5, Feb 26 - soulmates

[ᰔ]↳ pairing; Luo Binghe/Shen Qingqiu

↳ a/n; omg I finally finished this lmao. I posted this on ao3 before I did here, so happy!! Now I just need to get the rest all done and dealt with, ahsbhjebf. Either way, hope you all like a sticky lbh oneshot with a closeted, equally sticky Shen Qingqiu!

[ᰔ]↳ CW: riding, crying during sex, hickeys, marks, overstimulation, slight voyeurism, possessiveness, jealousy, sexual tension-ish, no plot lol, top lbh, bottom sqq, body worship

[ᰔ]↳ tags; @sleepyymc

Luo Binghe has always stuck like glue to Shen Qingqiu’s side. 

It wasn’t even this bad when he was a disciple, merely bumping into him during practice (which he now knows are all false mistakes), and occasionally hugging him when Shen Qingqiu allowed it. But nothing more. 

At the start of their marriage, his stickiness had become evident. Shen Qingqiu had thought that it was going to go away after a few months or years after their marriage, but he was proven wrong as the weeks and months passed. 

With each second they spent together, and the more he loosened up, Luo Binghe was only growing ever more insatiably sticky!

With every chance he could get his grabby hands on, he never hesitated to attach himself to Shen Qingqiu via back hugs, resting his head atop Shen Qingqiu’s lap, holding his hand, and even making him sit on his lap as they eat, spoon feeding a red-faced Peak Lord with such joy and satisfaction in his face that it’d just make Shen Qingqiu feel outright cruel if he didn’t indulge him. 

Either way, he’s getting fed well in a comfortable spot, with the most powerful and handsome man in the world — ever — there to do all the work for him. What reason is there for him not to like it? 

The stickiness continued throughout the whole day. Every single day . Luo Binghe wouldn’t leave the bed in the morning without a kiss from his beloved, tears always threatening to pour out if Shen Qingqiu hesitated for too long or turns away, and it’s such a pitiful sight that he really can’t be blamed if he gives in anyway, completely ignoring the way the soft lips pressed against his shift into a smug smile. 

At night, Luo Binghe couldn’t even sleep unless he got a kiss and they were wholly tangled together, nuzzling into him as if he were the luckiest person alive and, knowing Luo Binghe, that probably isn’t too far off the mark. 

Even when Shen Qingqiu was asleep, he couldn’t catch a break away from this man-baby of a demon! It hadn’t been this often in the past, but as Shen Qingqiu grew more comfortable in their relationship, he let Luo Binghe get away with popping into his dreams more than once a week. 

Twice a week turned into three times a week, gradually altering to four times and then to how it is now, which is quite literally every night. 

Binghe-ah, dear, is there a need for that when they’re already glued hip-to-hip together 24/7 in the physical world already!? 

As soon as he opened his eyes in his dreams, there was always an armful of Luo Binghe on him, beaming up at him even as Shen Qingqiu whacked him with his fan, apologizing unapologetically like — like a brat! 

Luo Binghe wouldn’t leave the bed without a kiss from his beloved, tears always threatening to pour out if Shen Qingqiu said nothing for too long or turned away with a red face, and it’s such a pitiful sight that he really can’t be blamed if he gives in anyway, completely ignoring the way the soft lips pressed to his shift into a smug smile. 

Other times, it’s different. More intense. 

"Shizun, Shizun,” Luo Binghe would groan lowly into their kisses during sex, licking and biting and sucking wherever he could with his mouth like he was a starved man who couldn’t get enough of the meal laid out before him, almost like he’d die if his lips strayed away a moment too long. 

The title made Shen Qingqiu’s chest burn with embarrassment, but he was quickly distracted as dirty confessions and remarks were whispered into his red-tinged ears, making his stomach churn and contract with hot arousal. Shameless.

He wanted to bury his face into the pillow from the sheer embarrassment of it all, but the hot spike of arousal he felt thrumming through his veins at every word was an undeniable force he didn’t try to fight against. 

Damn Luo Binghe and his sexy ass voice!!! He cried internally. Where did you even learn how to say all these nasty things?! 

It was overstimulating; the deep pressure was presently there inside him, still desperate in their rhythm and making him throb for something more despite how sensitive he already was, with Binghe caging him possessively underneath his broad, toned frame, the intensity in that hot crimson gaze whenever they made eye contact — it sent him over the edge. He’d never get used to such a sight, to such an experience, he’s sure, and he knows he’s right. 

Whenever Shen Qingqiu rode his husband on a lucky day, Luo Binghe would always crush their fronts together like he wanted to fuse them into a whole, wrapping an arm around his waist and mouthing at his swollen lips with more technique than he originally had at the start of any of this, free hand splayed possessively over his back. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t understand the point of this; he wasn’t going to ever leave or choose anyone else even if he was forced to.

Of course, he never says anything of the sort, but he hopes Binghe gets the message. 

Sometimes, Luo Binghe got too consumed in his lust and went back to his old ways, using way too much teeth and tongue, but Shen Qingqiu finds that he doesn't quite all that much. Not as much as he did before. It's not like he could pay full attention to it when he's too busy getting his ass railed to the heavens, dirty praises constantly getting whispered into his ears. All his senses of touch, sound, taste, and the likes made him clutch onto Luo Binghe's back tighter, scratching till skin tore and bled. 

Hands larger than his endlessly caressed and mapped out his whole body, as if he were the world in Luo Binghe’s hands. Shen Qingqiu’s waist fit perfectly in Luo Binghe’s hands, strands of loose hair that stuck to his sweaty forehead would be carefully brushed away, Luo Binghe's hands would reverently, and desperately run over his thighs, worshipful and full of so much emotion even in the heat of lust — it drove him utterly mad. 

Oh, and of course throughout all this, Binghe is crying the most! Who's the one taking one for the team here?! How Shen Qingqiu wants to kiss those tears away every time, and he does so without fail. 

His hips would be lovingly bruised come the next morning, his neck and collarbone area absolutely scattered with marks, all from one person. Once Shen Qingqiu got most of his ability to think straight back, he’d huff and scold Binghe, complaining that he’ll have to go and buy more high-collared robes because the last one he had was ripped to pieces the previous night by a little eager someone . 

Luo Binghe merely followed him out the bed and hugged him from behind as Shen Qingqiu inspected the damage through the mirror, a pleased smile forming on his stupidly perfect lips as he did a once-over of his artwork. 

“Apologies, Shizun, this one can’t help it,” The sly bastard had mumbled into his skin unapologetically, voice hoarse and content. “Shizun was so irresistible last night, I couldn’t help it. I’ll buy you as many sets of robes as you’d like later, don’t get mad,” 

“I’m not mad…” Shen Qingqiu mumbled, skin tingling as Luo Binghe softly kissed the side of his cheek, smiling. Oh, he’s a weak, weak man. 

In public, Luo Binghe would keep his hands to himself when necessary, understanding that both of them had a reputation to maintain even if he couldn’t care less about his image — Shen Qingqiu did, and that was enough! This was all true and going in order unless Luo Binghe got even slightly jealous, to which Shen Qingqiu would let him do whatever all while assuring him that there truly was nothing to worry about. Who else besides you would find this old man attractive, huhh? Don't worry too much, what do you mean that's not true? I don't know the true extent of my own beauty? Oh, Binghe! You're so funny! Hush, hush now, we both know the real true beauty here is you. Let's just finish hunting down these low IQ ghosts and then go home because I'm seriously craving your dumplings again! 

They held hands, brushed their hands against each other, sneaked kisses when no one was looking, and Shen Qingqiu let Luo Binghe cling onto him when they rode their swords together, even if it was unnecessary. 

Luo Binghe had his sword and could even slash open a portal for them if he ever so desired to, but when Shen Qingqiu asked, he teared up at the speed of light like no other and spoke with such utter devastation, “ But I won’t be able to be close to Shizun for long enough… ”. 

Ah . He didn’t bother to respond after that, truly puzzled but not doing anything to push Binghe off when he latched onto him once again. Shen Qingqiu seriously wonders just where he got such max levels of stickiness from, acting like a lovestruck maiden all the time.

Aren’t you supposed to be a fearsome demonic emperor?  A harem master taking hold of wives in the three digits!! ! He wanted to laugh hysterically, mostly out of bemusement, because holy shit. How the hell have they reached this point? 

Shang Qinghua sneezed in the quiet of his office right then, wondering why he suddenly has goosebumps creeping up his skin. 

When Shen Qingqiu was feeling especially comfortable in public, Shen Qingqiu let Luo Binghe take the liberty of openly embracing him or clutching onto his arm, leaning into it without a second thought. To them, it wasn’t too obvious, but everyone around them who fell victim to such sights couldn’t help but feel as though they aged decades more — God damn couples!

Whenever Luo Binghe joined in on the sect meetings, he’d pick the seat right beside his husband and not-so-subtly scoot as close as he could to him until their chairs touched, seeking his hand under the table or instead choosing to wrap his arm around Shen Qingqiu’s waist, rubbing soothingly and innocently blinking up at him whenever Shen Qingqiu gave him a look. 

Sometimes he’d rest his hand atop a thigh, just resting it and nothing more. Sometimes, and only sometimes , he’d try to sneak his hand into his robes and Shen Qingqiu’s focus during the meeting would drift off somewhere they shouldn’t be, fighting to keep the blood from rushing to his face and trying in all his power to keep his expression straight. Why he didn't just smack the hand away? Ah, don't ask him, he has no valid answer to that.

More than once, another person in the room would take notice of his cracking expression and check on him, ask him if he were alright, do you need something, yada, yada — Leave this master alone!!! You’re making this worse for me, Shidi, Shimei! 

The thought of being caught in this full room, it wasn't proper, it was disgusting and made him feel like he lost ten layers of face, but there was something else there. Something he thinks he'd have a heart attack of embarrassment from if he were to ever speak on it. 

He’d have to quickly excuse himself from the meeting after some time, unable to go through all the matters without the heat to his skin going away.  Of course, Luo Binghe would follow him out not too long after, endlessly smug like a cat  He’d trail after him into his room and chuckle, apologizing when Shen Qingqiu admonished him like a child for being so shameless, before kissing him silly.  

Luo Binghe knew how to shut him up; all the complaints that were about to be spouted out instantly died in his throat just like that, sated all at once. As he reciprocated it, his limbs began to reach that familiar gooey state whenever they were close like this. 

Luo Binghe hummed, pleased. The way their lips glided against each other was perfect, not at all gnawing like their first few kisses had been at the start — although Shen Qingqiu didn’t quite mind that all too much either, Luo Binghe had worked hard these past few months improving his kissing skills, and now he can get his title back for the best kisser, as fit for his role in the novel! He’s so proud! 

The countless pings of satisfaction points skyrocketed near his ear, but he tuned it out. Shut up, you're ruining the moment. 

Perhaps he may be worse off than his own husband, to be letting every sticky action he does slide like that, and even enjoying it himself. It does always feel nice to be hugged all the time, Luo Binghe is a walking furnace, keeping Shen Qingqiu’s often cold body warm — warming up his heart. His hands are also comforting, always holding him close and rubbing gentle circles over his naked back before they slept.  There was another thing to note; whenever Luo Binghe had to reluctantly leave to deal with duties in the demonic realm, Shen Qingqiu would be fine for a few days or so before he began feeling like a widowed housewife. He’d be less expressive with others, his stomach would grumble and ache for heavenly meals hand-made by his husband’s godly hands, and he’d miss waking up to an overly energetic Luo Binghe holding himself above him, beaming and smooching everywhere he could reach. 

Shen Qingqiu put his cup of tea down and laughed. 

He waved an elegant hand, dismissing himself as he smiled at seemingly his own words, “Oh, God, no way. Binghe is the true clingy one between the two of us, of course. I think he’s rubbing off on me.” 

Shang Qinghua stared at him with wide eyes across the table from him, holding a small pouch full of melon seeds he got from who knows where. His eyebrows cluster together in an am-I-really-hearing-you-say-that-right-now kind of expression, to Shen Qingqiu’s utter confusion. What? 

“Cucumber-bro, while your relationship with your Bing-er truly terrifies and amazes me all at once,” Shen Qingqiu narrowed his eyes but that didn’t stop him, “I genuinely believe that you lack some brain cells — ironic, I know right? — but, like, seriously, how much more are you going to deny this till you accept it? I’m going to have a stroke just listening to you!” 

Shen Qingqiu languidly fanned himself, looking elsewhere and feigning innocence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t deny anything, I’m just stating the truth.”

Shang Qingqiu dropped his pouch full of melon seeds in favor of grabbing at his ruffled brown hair, yanking frustratedly and shutting his eyes. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re both the same! You’re just as insane as my son, but like different — I don’t know!  I can’t do this while sober, give me a moment.” He pops open a bottle to pour himself some liquor that Shen Qingqiu is sure wasn’t there in the first place, but he doesn’t say anything about it. He has other things to consider now.

“Yeah, okay, I’m just as insane as Binghe, sure, sure.” He scoffs, lazily fanning himself. But he doesn’t lie when he says it. Shang Qinghua probably isn’t wrong, and he doesn’t mind it. He just likes seeing the hack of an author get frustrated with him sometimes. 

When they both finish their monthly hang-out session and he leaves An Ding Peak later that evening, it’s already dark outside and his cheeks are slightly flushed from drinking a bit much. It’s awfully quiet once he gets back to his peak, his disciples must be getting ready for bed by now—just how much time has he spent away today? 

He flew on his sword as a way to cool himself down, hoping the chilly wind could keep his plastered state at bay, or at least make his flush less noticeable. He almost yelps when he stops at his destination and misses a step off, alarms blaring in his head. Shit, shit , he shouldn’t have drank so much!

A shadow he doesn’t notice flashes from in front of him, and before he can even begin to stumble in such an undignified manner, there’s a familiar strong set of arms holding him up by the waist and shoulder, firm yet gentle as they help him gain balance. 

Shen Qingqiu’s world is swaying for a good few seconds, a headache starting to form from the quickness sequence of events. He doesn’t say anything, but when he realizes just who it is with him, the flush from his cheeks which he thought were nearly gone comes back in full blast to haunt him.

Of course, Luo Binghe is outside waiting for him! He just had to be there to witness the peerless Shen Qingqiu make such a baby mistake, all drunk and messy — embarrassing! Couldn’t he have stayed inside a little longer??? 

“Shizun, are you okay?” Luo Binghe quickly asks after giving Shen Qingqiu some time to recover, cupping a hot cheek with one hand and using his free hand to brush aside all the stuck-out strands of his hair that had gone rampant while flying. There’s a faint redness in his eyes, like he had been holding back the urge to cry. 

His perfect brows are pinched with worry, the touch against his skin tender with such utter care and love — Shen Qingqiu’s heart leaps against his ribcage. Always so sticky, always there for him. His earlier embarrassment sizzles away into nothingness when facing Luo Binghe’s undeniable love for him.

Perhaps it’s due to the liquor still brimming in his system that emboldens him, but he puts his hand over the one on his cheek, closing his eyes and nuzzling into it. He sighs with a shiver, just taking the memory in. There’s a sharp intake of breath from Luo Binghe, but it only makes him smile softly. He kisses the scar that simply refuses to heal, the guilt he’s tried so hard to lock away resurfacing just slightly.

“How long have you been waiting here for me?” He finally whispers, still not opening his eyes. 

Luo Binghe doesn’t immediately answer him, choosing to instead take his time threading his fingers through his hair before they found their way to his waist, thumb comfortingly stroking his sides. 

“This husband of yours had gone outside to wait for you once the sun began to set.” Subtly, he pushes Shen Qingqiu closer to him till their lower halves touched intimately, seemingly only for the reason that he wanted to b as close as possible to him and nothing more than that. “Shizun kept this one waiting.” 

There was a pout in his voice. Shen Qingqiu cracked one eye open, holding back the urge to snort. Always seeking attention, always wanting more. He loves him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I drank too much,” He didn’t even bother with the formal speech, feeling far too lax and loose right now after a long night. “You know I’ll always come back.” 

“If Shizun never came back,” Luo Binghe’s eyes flashed dangerously, “I would kill everyone and everything and then myself—” 

Shen Qingqiu interrupted him with a chaste kiss, quickly letting go and chuckling when Luo Binghe’s carefully blank expression switched into one of pleasant surprise, the red eyes sparkling and damn near turning heart-shaped, skin blossoming into a lovely shade of pink. Those lips he'd just touched parted ever so slightly, almost tempting him to do it again. He usually never initiates much action, but whenever he does, the end result is always worth his efforts. So handsome, so beautiful, so perfect, maybe a little blackened, but it was okay. 

“Alright, enough with that, hm? Let’s go inside now, it’s too late and cold to be out.” He patted Luo Binghe’s cheek before tugging himself out of his loosened grasp, rushing inside before Luo Binghe can catch up to him. 

“Sh–Shizun! Wait!” Luo Binghe yelled after him, sounding all too desperate to have him back in his arms again. Too bad, he’ll have to wait until he finishes eating and bathing — oh, but he does hope Luo Binghe finds a way to spoon feed him again, or even join him in his dreams. Those are always so nice. 

Tomorrow morning, he's going to regret saying and doing a lot of things out of pure embarrassment. But that didn't matter. This is alright. More than alright.

[Satisfaction Points +500!]

[Coolness Points +500!]

[secriden]

eeeppp thanks for answering! this is so fun!! *u* and oh, yes absolutely agree with everything you've said, beautifully articulated! i think you straightened out a confusion i was having in my own head about how to explain the difference between a lqg who thinks there's only one sqq and the lqg who recognises there are two. <3

an intriguing thought, bouncing off what you said, in the case of lqg believing there's only one sqq and regarding lqg questioning how a bit of "amnesia" could so fundamentally change sqq: i could see lqg coming to question just what sqq's formative history was. that if he thinks fundamentally that the sqq he's seeing now is the "real" sqq, absent of the effect of his past traumas and hurts, then he could become incredibly protective of sqq. if he believes that the sqq he knew in the past was a front, possibly as a defence mechanism (which is not too far off the truth, although sj is certainly a more morally grey character than this take allows for), then lqg would quickly become invested in ensuring that sqq continues being allowed to continue developing as his "true" self, the way he is now. i do agree that this could get a little messy for lqg, but of all the potential ships for sqq, i think lqg would deal best with it without the processes causing sqq any hurt.

for example lqg wouldn't forget the facts of his history with sqq - for eg. sj attacked lqg with no warning the first time they met, but now lqg is asking what the reason was for it? what in sqq's past caused him to be so angry with lqg at first sight? he'd start to wonder why sj beat up that bz disciple. he'd start to question the well mission which is a pivotal turning point and could open up so much of lqg's feelings towards sqq, especially if sy cluelessly plays into it.

so lqg digs into sqq's history maybe? like he could do it casually since he's the peak lord that's most often away. maybe he stumbles upon some rumours about the qui family fire. maybe he happens to come across one of the women who survived the fire and hears a little bit about the qui's cruelty to the servants and begins to draw his own (slightly incorrect, but helpful for my ship xD) conclusions.

[like lbh, even og!lbh who jumps universes, could get there too but the process involves genuine pain (both physical and emotional) for sqq and also as you mentioned the whole controlling/manipulating thing which i also don't like. and yes i have similar notp feelings about yqy/sqq for exactly those reasons and tbh don't like qijiu for other tangential reasons like i just think they'd genuinely be bad for each other. qi-ge was indulgent in all the wrong ways of shen jiu.]

LQG only ever displays unwavering support toward SQQ in the present and never attempts to control or manipulate him, which is a big part of why I love Liushen.

yes, this omg. <3 this is why i adored lqg even when reading the novel. we get wayyy too few instances with him but even then he just felt safe (for sqq, specifically) in a way none of the other characters did. and then the anime made him so pretty and i was a goner.

also the idea of lqg just sitting quietly as he meditates and slowly turns every interaction and memory with sqq in his mind and tries to form new perspectives of it. comes to his own conclusions. resolves to support this man. eventually finds himself in love. because this is... this is essentially what happens in cannon, it's not even a stretch.

it makes me so happy to think that lqg could grow to love the "truth" of sqq (which is really just sy) as he continues to be more and more unfiltered because he gets more leeway to be "OOC". and i love that sy!sqq could genuinely just have that with lqg in a way that he can't with even lbh because of *waves above original post*.

The implications of a transmigrator forming new/altered relationships with people who knew the previous occupant of their body is a big part of what makes SVSSS so fascinating to me.

mmmm, yes, yes, absolutely this! i think that's why svsss has such a hold on me even years and years after i read it. i haven't gone back to it, nor did i even participate in fandom surrounding it when i first read it cuz i didn't have a tumblr then, but every now and again i'd remember this story and start turning it around in my head. i adore the idea of the transmigrator finding a space for themselves because or despite (both have great implications!) of the original's place in the world.

and i absolutely resonate with what you said about liushen. ; A; i want them to get to be happy and sweet and loving and supportive of each other so badly. <3

one reason i think liu qingge has such great potential is that he's one of the only characters entirely free from the PIDM narrative. because he dies early in PIDM, sqq isn't coming into every conversation and interaction expecting lqg to adhere to a preconceived script. this allows sqq to actually see lqg as a person and for his words and actions to be taken at face value.

i just think this is great potential for sqq to still be completely oblivious or in denial about lbh and yqy's attentions (because he's so fixated on how bad/complicated PIDM!sqq's relationships are with them) whilst also catching wind of lqg's growing feelings for him because he isn't hampered by any preconceived notions of what they're dynamic "should" be.

so give me sqq noticing the way lqg's mannerism soften around him, how his gruffness changes, how he spends more time just having tea with sqq even after his meridians have been cleansed as they start to have civil conversation about sect business. recognising lqg's care in returning his fans; seeking common ground over their shared love of monster hunting (even if lqg just cares about fighting them, can he maybe smash them in such a way that shixiong can study them afterwards?) and discussions on cultivation techniques and the differences between bai zhan and qing jing styles.

sqq who is so just so grateful to have someone in his corner, someone he feels safe with, who he doesn't have to second guess during every conversation. someone who was never supposed to be around by this point in the narrative, and so is entirely shen qingqui's.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 12, 2019 // the kidnapping

okay yall heres this! see you in two weeks! 🥳

-ik george called everyone to help but i get such a thrill from people asking nancy for help bc they know she can do it. (its a real contest sometimes between nancy over-inserting herself into peoples business bc she thinks she knows better vs her actually being the one to call)

-maybe an interesting facet to nancys tendency to lack emotion comes from mystery solving- being able to stay calm and objective when people like george are frantic and anxious. think rationally. search for clues. follow logical footsteps. this is where her predicting human behavior scientifically and not socially prevails. you might think youre behaving rationally but it takes a cold clocked brain to really do it (the 'wall' that carson mentioned)**

-owen is so cute lmfaoooo

-once again bess's particular attention to detail wins the day

-they totally stole this sharpie + back of menu thing from victoria

-wonder what gomber asked for from simon

-chief has absolutely zero hesitation to sharing things with nancy now lmfaoooo

-"just dont slow me down" all im picturing is nancys face when carson says how bout a father juxtaposed with s2 ryan and carson stalking her and pretending to hide in their car when they got caught

-"commentary rescinded" lmfaoooo we all judge him for the weekend sweater vests but he is undoubtedly the most capable character on this show for taking care of a kid

-"your memory is relentlessly specific" would honestly hate to be raising that kid lmfaoooo no winning arguments here. thats probably why carson is the way he is though, soft, small, open and unguarded - no reason to start arguments. perfect calm happy family

-okay lbh. was karen a dick for snooping in nancys room y/n?

-nancys face when carson offers advice on the phone call lmaoooo

-**so now wonder if that "calm" carson mentions as a survival mechanism is manufactured. that would be an intereting parallel to s2 premiere when nancy confesses to the wraith that shes afraid. then with nancys constant conflict of wheter to engage with mysteries or not when they are such a part of her is brought to scintillating focus if we consider this cold clocked calm during panic is actually based in something painful and tragic, and the real truth is that nancy is too afraid to even solve mysteries anymore (afraid of what tho? herself? hurting others? her own mystery-solving ability?)

-carson still has his supernatural nope hat on

-her frustration with her "memory in pieces" become so much more interesting considering it as a control mechanism- nancy is obsessively in control of what shes thinking and feeling and executes that control firmly in pretext of solving mysteries - she controls and solves them, they dont control her. like cancer was "the mystery she couldnt solve" and she just spiraled from there. like in the first ep she says "it was more than just a hobby, it was part of who i was" past tense. shes trying to reclaim parts of her identity that she thought were unshakeable, like mysteries and who her parents are, yet these parts of her identity that she still picks up and engages with turn out to be destructive both to herself and those around her. does her ability to draw the line differ? like the mysteries are a comfort/lacking stillness to avoid dealing with emptiness: did mysteries always hurt her parents/friends/others when she was younger, and she just never noticed because their lives werent permanently damaged like nancys picking apart these secrets did?

-"superstitions and rituals are all part of human behavior, its not proof of something inhuman" -discuss 🧐

-this ep and that hug made me ship george/nick

-love this bess/owen bonding time 💙

-love the contrast between nancy rejecting nicks help to george with "my trucks outside" (THE TRUCK omg foreshdowinggggg)

-damn casting did a good job finding a creepy bitch to play moira (shes sooooo weak tho lmfaooo)

-wonder if mcginnis can sense anything when gombers arm starts to bleed

-"TED!" "...yeah?" 😰😴🤦🏼‍♀️😂

-wonder what a relief nicks help is to george when even her own mother cant help her

-love this branch swinging bit for nancy. one hit for every memory taken! reminds me of our good ole tazer ep. and loving these physical outbursts from nancy.

-carson saying "i'm here" just like he did on the bluffs 😭

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: "just out of curiosity..." and gomber indulges her! what an interesting weirdcreep nancy/gomber (+simon as an extension) for a what if scenario. "i can still smell him on you" 👀...something about the children who were chosen first as little girls that come back as grown women (like an addiction/cant stay away/been marked/curiosity)

-owen holding bess's coat for her 🥺

-"we can enter our homes justified tonight" nancy would love that.

-irony: asking where kate will be in heaven bc lucy never made it to heaven/stuck as a ghost in purgatory (and why nancy always feels so lost bc she cant find kate bc kate's not hers)

-nancys old notebook is the same blue just like her blue car 💙😚

-mcginnis reaches out to nancy physically during/after carsons handcuffing by karen but just barely makes contact- so physical after meeting with mcginnis/him saying "work together" and seance/ceremony - now that opposing forces of mcginnis' law and nancys ability to get results have mixed and "been resolved" - emotional conflict nullified which allows for more genuine emotion/"paternal" instinct of older man-younger woman dynamic to come through (ironic since her actual parent is getting carted away)

and lastly

-"tell them you didnt kill her!" karens look at carson when he doesnt/cant say anything speaks volumes.

[paperclipninja]

Lucifer post-ep ramble 5x01

Hi there, long time fangirl, first time Lucifan. After devouring all 4.5 seasons of this magnificent show in an impressive/alarming (all a matter of perspective) amount of time, I have very quickly found myself well and truly obsessed dedicated to all things Lucifer. And when a show grabs me like this one has, I tend to have a lot of thoughts and feelings that I can’t help but share, and so the post-ep ramble was born. It will probably contain many words, it may or may not be particularly coherent, there will definitely be over-analysing, but I thought I might indulge in re-capping the season 5 eps as I re-watch, so this is the first ramble off the rank. 

‘Really Sad Devil Guy’ (A+ ep name btw) kicks off as we’re still scrambling to pick up all our heart pieces after the season 4 finale, which is why Mr. Said Out Bitch (aka Lee Garner) being in Hell is such a cracker of an opening. Lucifer just waiting below deck on Fishizzle II (wth happened to Fishizzle I??) to greet him with his trademark ‘hello’ made me disproportionately happy, mostly because he was on my screen but also because his encounters with Mr. SOB are always great and this was no exception. Getting an insight into ‘life in Hell’, the way the characters in the Hell loops are played by Demons and Lucifer in action as the King was fab at this point in the series. And does anyone else have a visceral reaction to Lucifer stopping that bullet? I know it’s brief, I cannot explain it, it might be the command he has, the fact it’s awesome, but it makes me FEEL things. Just me? Cool.

I think what really strikes me in the way Lucifer just has to pop in on Mr. SOB upon hearing of his arrival, is the fact that he is a link to Lucifer’s life on Earth. They’ve existed in the same places there, breathed the same air, it’s a way for Lucifer to make that connection to his home more tangible. And when he realises where Mr. SOB’s hell loop has them moored, at Marina Del Ray, the way Lucifer says 'Los Angeles' with such yearning makes those heart pieces I had started cobbling back together really begin to ache. What this episode pulls off so brilliantly is the way Chloe and Lucifer remain connected despite being apart, and it’s all set up when Lucifer tells Mr. SOB, ‘You know, there's a good chance I know who's on your case. To them it's only been a few months, a blink of an eye, but here it's been much much longer’.

What’s happening ‘below deck’ in Hell (sorry...or am I?) is of course mirrored at the crime scene, where Maze is still calling Ella Ellen (never change Maze ILY) and Ella is banging on about Lucifer not responding to her DM’s and texts and it’s all so on brand and the thought of her sending Lucifer a clip of a parrot dancing to techno and him finding it funny is just too perf. Maze having Chloe’s back from the get-go and telling Ella to ‘read the room’ just shows how far this Demon has come. And of course Chloe saying that she hasn’t even really thought about Lucifer since he left...(spoiler alert: she has).

Seeing Maze and Chloe out drinking and dancing, somehow they're kinda dorky together and I love it, but it’s also really clear that they’re both leaning on each other pretty heavily and being there for one another and honestly, I love literally every combination of characters on Lucifer, you put any two together and the dynamic is 100% their own and these two are up there. It’s so weird seeing Amandiel running Lux, I big L LOVE Amenadiel but it’s just...wrong. Plus hats off to D.B. because his delivery of ‘No one sells drugs in my place...without me getting a piece of the action’, not gonna lie, I was THROWN.

So are we assuming that the number of months Lucifer has been gone = the number of times Chloe has rocked up to work with a hangover? Lol at the sunglasses but also, you do you Chloe, whatever you gotta do babe. Just like Amenadiel running Lux is like watching a slightly off AU version of the show, so is seeing Maze and Chloe as partners at work. Don’t get me wrong, Maze clearly supporting her and when they’re interrogating a lead, seeing Chloe and Maze have such a groove that they’re finishing each other's sentences and communicating without talking, I dig it. But I love that while it’s great, it still doesn’t feel right. Because that there is why this show is so clever, as an audience we crave the return to the way things were just as the characters we are watching do.

Linda being a completely OTT mum is so fab. I could write an entire essay about my Linda love. Her adamance that ‘Charlie’s special’ and Ella’s ‘every child is special in their mum’s eyes, huh?’ sums it up perfectly. Did I mention I adore Ella? I definitely get the distinct impression Ella is doing a bit of self-reflection, her comment about being drawn to the bad boys for some reason clearly foreshadowing, but also her reflecting that she deserves a good guy for once (just not this ep when there is a bad boy/potential suspect to be hooked up with). I am curious to see the ‘darkness’ Ella has alluded to in earlier seasons being explored further and feel like this is sowing the seeds and I’m also waiting for a significant Linda/Ella D&M at some point. But clearly not this point, because 'science lesson Wednesdays...I checked your schedule and that's your day off' Linda is NOT about deep and meaningfuls (or anyone who isn’t a 2 month old baby), you need to DIAL IT DOWN friend.  I love that it takes Trixie pulling some funny faces and Dan offering some sage parenting advice as he returns the self-help books (love the irony there) for Linda to begin to chill a bit.          

So Dan has gone all new age with his oils and self improvement and you know what? I love it. And then of course we have Amenadiel needing to help make the world a safer place, he just needs to make sure for Charlie ya know and ugh my ovaries. I must say, I was relieved to realise that the club life had not in fact corrupted the delightful warrior we all love after all - it’s all a ploy to catch a REAL BIG TIME drug dealer (nooooo I can feel the second hand embarrassment already...)! Amenadiel setting up the ‘drug bust’, telling the dealer, ‘looks like gooood drugs’, oh you dear sweet naïve Angel you. We of course discover that the bust is, well, a bust, because the ‘drug lord’ is actually a kid trying to offload his mum’s pain meds *insert facepalm emoii here*. But rather than ridicule or be angry, Dan is so understanding and supportive of Amenadiel and once again offers up advice and I really am so into this friendship on every level and the care and openness it models.

Meanwhile, the genius parallel between what is happening on Earth and in Hell really takes effect as Chloe and Maze go undercover (I mean, they are a glam couple lbh) to the poker game while Lucifer is at a game hosted by the same suspect in Mr. SOB’s ‘exquisite’ Hell loop. His exclamation that it’s exquisite reflects that Lucifer and Mr. SOB are not that different, that it’s the kind of place Lucifer might manifest as well, but I also feel that Lucifer could be admiring his own Kingdom’s handiwork at creating LA with such accuracy from someone’s subconscious. He allows himself to be absorbed in it, ‘City of Angels, I’ve missed you’, and I can’t help but get the impression that hearing Lucifer call LA this for the first time is confirmation that his Heaven, or place of Angels, is in fact there with Chloe.

Chloe remains firmly in the forefront of Lucifer’s mind this entire episode, with him asking ‘what would she do?’ and wanting to replicate the life he had with her at the precinct. But of course he is soon reminded of his reality, as he tries to get more information from Mr. SOB who is being useless. Lucifer incorrectly calling him ’Detective’ shatters the illusion that he is any closer to Chloe, and this is impressively emphasised as he erases the LA cityscape to reveal the Hellscape. For a moment he’d let himself believe he was back there. Back home. His, ‘you’re not her’ making some of my heart pieces fall out once again.

But then the messenger arrives, ‘Lord Morningstar, there’s someone you should meet’ and lo and behold it’s guy who just got hit by car up on the Earth-side of this investigation and I.am. loving. it. Also, did Lucifer put out a Hell-wide memo that if ANYONE arrives from LA they are to be bought to him so he can send messages to Chloe through their bodies??? NO REALLY I'M FINE. Having a Demon possess the dead dude’s body to pass on the tip from Lucifer was just TOO MUCH. His, ‘hey is that Mazikeen?’ made me actually lol but also, look how far we’ve come! Chloe doesn’t even flinch when the dead guy wakes up possessed to pass on Lucifer’s message. I’m so proud. 

'It's safe where you stored it' caused me way more amusement than was perhaps intended, but Ella, Maze and Chloe together, trying to figure out what it meant, it's such a great moment and the comedic timing is gold. Also, the fact it actually helps the case, ugh, Chloe and Lucifer are still connected and working together even though they are not on the same plane of existence and I’m just going to need to curl up for a minute because feelings.

You know who else is having a lot of feelings in this ep? The Devil himself. After he is satisfied he has passed on the message, he’s done with Mr. SOB, sending him, ‘back to your torture. And me to mine’. Any remnants of my heart are now once again shattered all over the floor in case you’re wondering. Lucifer doesn’t even try to hide the fact that being away from Chloe is so painful, almost revealing more than he ever usually would when Mr. SOB asks if she’s ‘somebody important?' to which he replies, 'more than you could ever know'. 

He only just stops himself before telling Mr. SOB her name, when he realises he's trying to manipulate him. And I'm so glad, Lucifer so sparingly uses Chloe’s name, it's always significant when he does and I feel like he reserves those moments for only between them. But Mr. SOB really does sum it up when he observes, ‘you just seem like a really sad Devil guy’, BECAUSE HE IS A REALLY SAD DEVIL GUY (can we just take a moment to appreciate how not at all scared of Lucifer Mr. SOB is, he doesn’t even refer to him as THE Devil, just ‘Devil guy’. It’s kind of nice that he sees and accepts him as both Devil and human without really questioning it). 

The parallel continues as Chloe and Lucifer are talking to a sister and brother  and the way this highlights the place they're both in. It's just brilliant writing and execution. Chloe is talking to Meg about her brother’s death and both her and Lucifer's yearning for one another is palpable. At the same time, Maze telling Chloe that they don’t need Lucifer and kissing Chloe highlights Maze’s desire for connection and love. She wants it so badly and the way she shuts down when Chloe suggests they stop working together breaks my heart.

When Lucifer takes Mr. SOB to the root of his Hell loop, yes, it’s about Lucifer projecting his own guilt and lack of self worth onto him, but his assertion that, 'it is inevitable sooner or later you're going to disappoint them all over again. So you'd rather stay away for all eternity’, really feels as though it carries multiple meanings. As a self-referential comment, is Lucifer talking about Heaven or Earth? Is it his fear of disappointing and letting down Chloe and the other humans or is it his belief that he disappointed his family? And if Angels self-actualise does that mean he was never 'stuck' in Hell at all and could have returned to Heaven? I certainly feel there is some sort of realisation occurring here. Or could be completely over-analysing it. Why not have both 🤷‍♀️

You know the line that just up and got me though? ‘Whose hell is this anyway? Are you sure this is my hell? You just here torturing yourself’- Mr. SOB calling Lucifer out is A MOMENT. And I can’t help but wonder if a part of it is Lucifer wanting Mr. SOB to come to terms with his own guilt, wanting to help him because he knows he’s not evil and he is trying to reconcile his own guilt too. If he can help Mr. SOB face and let go of the guilt then he has a chance of it too. And that’s when Mr. SOB challenges Lucifer, pointing out that he missed his chance, ‘but what about you?’ 'The self-centred simplicity of you humans never ceases to amaze me...I am here out of responsibility, I had to protect humanity, I had to protect HER', the delivery of this line, the frustration of being misunderstood, of ppl thinking that he acts for himself when his very reason for being back in Hell is for others, I can feel it through the screen.

The dead guy we saw get shot in the kitchen appearing at that moment with news about ‘the Detective’ and then cutting straight back to the shoot up in the house, file under: how to brilliantly edit. “Lucifer” appearing; the whistle, the casually strolling in, the ‘hello bad guys’ = I was FOOLED. I mean you have to admit, the ‘thought I'd give you a hand' pun was well played, classic Lucifer, very convincing.  My shipper heart was SO FULL for the split second Lucifer and the Detective kissed, until Chloe realised that something was off and her open eyes told us something was up. The cut back to Hell and seeing Lucifer still standing there with Mr. SOB...you may have heard my ‘noooooooo’ from wherever you are. ‘She’ll be just fine without me’...said every Devil who has a dick twin brother who’s going to try and destroy, nay STEAL, his life and love of his life ever.

Michael, you're an evil bastard but damn you nailed that villainous smirk over-the-shoulder pose in the final shot. Whatever you have in store, I will no doubt revel in your awfulness and be confused about whether or not I hate you.