#and even then the interpretations are relatively weak compared to other interpretations

[orionsangel86]

Hi! I've been reading your latest analysis, and Dream being perceived as misogynistic has come up a few times. I've never really caught that(tho it's been a hot minute since I read the sandman comics and I might've forgotten)? He's really respectful towards Bast, Hettie, and Titania, He's mostly kind towards Rose and Nuala, and yeah, he was a dick towards Ishtar, but you explained why's that far better then I ever could. He also comes across as cold-hearted and cruel towards Lyta, but I think that has less to do with her gender and more with Dream not knowing that tact Exists. I also think that Dream being abusive husband is total bullshit. In the song of orpheus, Calliope and Morpheus seem to be close and Calliope doesn't show any signs that she's afraid of him, or is being abused by him, and at the wake she says that Morpheus was the best lover she had ever had. Why would she say something like that about her rapist?

Hey! Yep I agree completely. I think a lot of this interpretation comes from Ishtar and the Sandman Companion (which I haven't read but appears to include some absolutely insane hot takes that make zero sense and clearly just wanna be edgy and dark).

Other than Ishtar, who I have already now spoken about extensively, the only other female character he has actively hurt is Nada. Now the Nada story is horrifying, and I can't in good conscience defend Dream here. I'm with Death on this matter. It was a really shitty thing to do. Now, baring in mind Death hints that Desire had a lot more to do with that whole situation than they have ever let on, Dream's behaviour towards Nada was disgusting. She rejected him and he sent her to Hell for it. However, I don't think this is evidence of Dream's misogyny. What it is evidence of, is that Dream is an extremely prideful and hot tempered creature who does not take kindly to any response that he considers an insult.

Even with Alianora, all we know is that he became cold towards her, to the point that she wanted to leave him. We don't know anything more than that. Overture only shows that Alianora was upset and didn't want to be stuck with him anymore, and so Dream created an entire world for her to live in where she wouldn't have to see him. Remember that if Dream was truly cruel towards her he could have simply kicked her out of the Dreaming, left her to fend for herself in either the Waking World or sent her back to where she came from, even though she told him they would never accept her again. He respected her enough to give her a world of her own, even after she decided to leave him.

Now the comics as you have said give us absolutely ZERO indication that Dream was abusive towards Calliope. There is NOTHING. NADA. NIENTE. I have poured over every single page that includes Calliope as well as every reference. The only thing that comes close to indicating that he might have been cruel towards her was when she comments that "the old you would have left me here to rot" which is also more an indication of Morpheus' pride after being hurt/rejected than it is of abuse and misogyny. Had Calliope's capture and abuse at the hands of mortals happened much sooner, whilst their divorce was still a fresh wound it is probably far more likely that Morpheus would not have helped her, simply because he was still nursing his wounded pride after she left him (because the comic does make it clear that Calliope left Morpheus just like Nada rejected him and Alianora wished to leave him. Morpheus has never initiated any of his break ups. It was always the women who chose to leave him, therefore hurting him to the point that he lashed out like a wounded animal.)

Outside of ex lovers, he doesn't treat any other women badly. He clearly has a mutual respect for Lady Bast, who seems to adore him. He and Titania were lovers and are on very good terms. He is certainly on better terms with his sisters than he is his other siblings and he treats Mad Hettie far more respectfully than she usually gets treated. He was kind to Rose throughout the Dolls House, as you say. He was also extremely respectful of Barbie and even called her Princess Barbara to respect her dream kingdom. He treats Ruby respectfully and is shown to be genuinely upset and haunted by her death to the point that two other characters remark how odd it is that he even cares about the death of a mortal. He wasn't always tactful with Nuala - stripping her of her glamour in front of all the other Gods was a bit cruel, and an indication of how much he dislikes fairie magic even though he remains close to the fae in general, but Nuala also falls head over heels in love with him so he must have been treating her reasonably well for that to happen! He certainly doesn't take advantage of her the way she expects when her brother presents her as a gift. I think it's often forgotten about but Nuala was literally given to Morpheus as a gift to do with as he wished, the implication being that she was to be his whore. He never forces himself on her or treats her the way she is technically there for. If this comic was adapted by writers with a Game of Thrones mentality I shudder to think how Morpheus would treat Nuala. But Morpheus is far too respectful for that. There is nothing in the comics that even remotely indicates that he would take advantage of a woman or anyone. Hell, in the scenes with Ishtar he certainly isn't perving over the women or acting in any way less than utterly respectful and dignified. Even Matthew shows himself up in those scenes as being a bit of a pervert when he was a man. But not Morpheus. If he was a misogynist, wouldn't he be taking Cluracan up on his offer and fucking Nuala the moment he gets the chance even if she didn't want it? Since by fae law she is his property to do with as he sees fit. He is within his rights by the laws of the fae to force himself on Nuala whenever he wants. A horrible thought but a true one according to the comics. But just because he has that power over Nuala, he never uses it. And yet the Sandman Companion implies he's a rapist? Nah. I call bullshit. If he was a rapist he would have raped Nuala the moment he had the chance, and he has had plenty of chances.

Instead Morpheus requests that she be given quarters in the palace and made comfortable. He agrees to let her stay in the Dreaming because refusing her means refusing his gift which would cause Nuala harm if she returned to fairie. He never asks anything of her. She takes it upon herself to act as his maid simply to keep herself busy but Morpheus never orders her to do any of it. Honestly his treatment of Nuala given the situation is the biggest indication imo that he is NOT a misogynist, NOT a rapist, and certainly NOT abusive.

Then we have Lyta Hall. Poor confused Lyta Hall. The problem with Lyta, is that for Morpheus it was always simply bad timing. He never took the time to explain things to her properly because he was always either late for a meeting (with Hob) or about to go to Hell (to save Nada) or dealing with something that was distracting him at the time. Lyta reacts badly towards him because she blames him for Hectors death - which is stupid because she KNOWS Hector died before she ever met Morpheus (in both comic and show she knows this) and Morpheus is frustratingly lacking in tact when dealing with the overly emotional grieving pregnant widow. His treatment of Lyta is NEVER misogynistic though, even when she calls him names, yells at him, threatens him, etc etc. She is far more aggressively confrontational towards him than practically any other character and each time he sees her he is patient and calm with her and just sort of takes the abuse she throws at him - mostly because from his point of view she is just a grieving mortal with no power who is absolutely not a threat to him - which is why her being his ultimate doom is so ironic.

When I take all of this into consideration, I can't possibly come to any conclusion that supports this theory that Morpheus is a misogynist let alone a rapist. There are too many layers of interpretation to every moment in the comics and misogyny is only one of multiple interpretations in the few stories that can possibly be viewed that way. In fact, over the past day or so since these conversations have started again, I have actually moved further away from these interpretations and am more inclined to disagree with them and consider the other interpretations more compelling.

[nicosraf]

Could you speak a little bit about your approach with the female humans in A&M?

Miriam seems happy or at least secretly pleased to wed Armoni who married her against his will through force and coercion. Idith and Samyaza had some dubcon and even a bit of non-con going on. The men in your story (and people in real life) blame Eve and label women as sinners/evil.

Satan and the demons often use 'she/her' pronouns. Even Samyaza, a character which many readers are frustrated with for the hypocrisy, has a femme and sapphic reading.

A lot of current retellings usually have a "feminist" spin or at least an attempt to give their female characters more agency. You seem to have a somewhat more authentic take but instead of choosing sides of good and evil your characters seem to exist is a deep morally gray area (at least that is how I read them).

Anyways, I was just wondering how you decided to interpret the female characters?

Hello! It's pretty straight forward actually! I was just more interested in trying to depict women, like those in my real life, authentically than anything else. My mother is a good person, but she's also a bad person at times, the same goes for my sister, my other female relatives, and all my women friends, though I'll admit I based most of the women in A&M off my female relatives.

I think A&M's feminist narrative is glaringly obvious and simple at times, but I didn't want to do "women good, man bad," even if some characters — like the Watchers — have this reading. Women in real life perpetuate sexism and do wrong things all the time, and that doesn't make them not victims of patriarchy. Eve isn't suddenly not-a-victim because she hurts one of her children. (And ABM is about this too: you can be a victim and do bad things. You can be a victim of abuse and an abuser.) (Point 2: I think your commitment to a cause shouldn't rest on your perceived moral purity of those you support; womens wrongs don't negate the need for womens rights)

I realize women characters will be judged harsher. (I do always notice how Eitan and Idith are treated differently by some people!) I know women just existing in movies or books puts them under intense scrutiny. Here's the thing though: if someone is the type of person to scrutinize women characters, looking for a reason to hate them, then I don't really care about their enjoyment of my book in the first place.

Not that I should be the one dictating what feminism is or isn't, but I think I can say that one part of it is that women deserve to have all the gray complexity that male characters have and that the genderqueer angels/demons have.

Oh and I've seen the backlash against feminist retellings of myths lately (the "girlbossification") that I don't think I can comment on it too much given I am, you know, a man — but, for A&M, I wanted to depict humans fairly realistically, knowing this might make them seem simple, unlikable, weak, or even boring compared to the fantastical, long-lived gay angels. It's important to me because A&M is an introduction to humanity. My approach in Angels #3 will be different, but... you'll see.

TLDR: I like writing women, and femmes generally, who are flawed despite how much they may have suffered.

[orphanofkos]

Jenna's conversation with Chase about temperament vs environment is interpreted by Chase as a slight humble brag and insult, where Jenna insinuates that she made it out of Echo because she was strong, whereas Chase made it out of Echo because of his relative privilege. I don't necessarily think that Chase was wrong in his read of this exchange (and at this point the game expects the reader to have a low opinion of Chase and to therefore take his self-deprecation at face value), but in the context of what we later learn about Jenna, I think that her temperament vs environment theory needs to be reexamined.

Essentially, Chase thinks that Jenna is saying the following; grew up in an abusive home, in poverty, tormented by her family and her peers, and the only reason she made it out is that she had a kind of intrinsic grit, intelligence, and ambition that meant she could endure the harmful influences of her environment to have a good outcome: she got good grades, worked hard, went to college, and is making a life for herself doing what she enjoys. However, Chase thinks Jenna is simultaneously implying that he, who grew up with loving parents, comparative wealth, and without being bullied or harassed by his peers, has a comparably weak temperament; that without his support structure, he wouldn't have ended up with the equivalent outcome of being happy, in college, pursuing a career of his choice. Given what we as the reader know about Chase, it's hard not to agree with him; aside from the obvious disadvantage of being a child murderer who's psychically assaulted by ghosts, Chase struggles with mental illness, doesn't possess a strong personality, and lacks both foresight in his decisions and any real ambition. Jenna and Chase are effectively inverses of one another; Jenna had a poor environment but a strong temperament, and Chase had a good environment but a weak temperament. A strong enough temperament is protective from a bad environment, and a good enough environment compensates for a weak temperament. We can apply this way of thinking to other major; TJ is a weak person from a loving home who went to college and is happy; Flynn is a strong person whose parents abandoned him, but he's healthy, independent, and seems happy. It's all very undergraduate psychology major.

Jenna is contemptuous of people whom she perceives to have failed due to a weak temperament, or more specifically, people who play the victim or even "allow" themselves to be victimized. She is openly dismissive and even insulting towards Janice and Heather (and even Carl), whom she views as having to endure environments comparably hostile to her own, but who failed to achieve the positive outcome Jenna did. Instead, Jenna perceives them as rationalizing their failures by embracing victimhood, shirking responsibility for their own actions and only blaming others. (Note that Jenna applies this way of thinking primarily to the other women in Echo).

However, I think that Chase's interpretation of Jenna's philosophy was influenced by his own insecurities; I think that in this conversation, what Jenna was really trying to say was that it was her environment which led her to have a positive outcome, not her just temperament. It doesn't matter how tough a person is if the world never gives them the chance to prosper, and I think Jenna, on some level, understands that she was given that chance while a lot of the people in her life weren't.

This brings us to Adam, Jenna's older brother who committed suicide. Jenna tells Chase that she doesn't miss him, that she didn't even like him when he was alive, and that he abused her just as much as her parents did. But in her conversation with Chase on Thursday morning, we she's more sympathetic towards him than she initially lets on. Jenna tells Chase that her brother was mentally ill (not specifying a diagnosis), and that her parents treated him just as poorly as they treated her and Jeremy, if not worse. Adam was a person who never had a chance; he had a weak temperament and a bad environment, and he had the worst possible outcome because of it. Jenna has an immediate example of what her life would be like if she hadn't been able to endure all of that abuse; but she also has an example of what Chase's life would have been like if he didn't grow up with the network of support he did. I think that when Jenna looks at Chase, her mentally ill childhood friend, she sees her dead brother, or at least a version of Adam that could have existed if he'd ever been given the love and the help that he'd needed; and she also sees what could have happened to Chase if he'd had parents like hers. I think that this is why Jenna doesn't begrudge Chase his relative wealth and happy family life; she understands that Chase needed it, and that he probably wouldn't be around anymore if he hadn't gotten it. (This is why I think Jenna's the one who's most upset that Chase is no longer in therapy or taking his medication.)

But I also think that Jenna wasn't implying that she made it out of Echo because she's a fundamentally strong, special person. There's someone else to whom Jenna can compare herself; her other brother Jeremy. I think that if Adam is who Chase would be without the love of his friends and family, Jeremy is who Jenna would be without her friends. Jeremy fell in with Clint, and now he lives in Echo selling meth for Brian; Jenna fell in with the Leo and Chase, and later TJ Carl and Flynn, and now she's going for her master's at furry harvard. I think that Jeremy and Jenna have a temperament that's more or less equivalent, and that it was only that crucial difference in their environment which resulted in their radically different outcomes.

Even though Jenna didn't have a biological family who cared about her, had a group of peers who did. She had Leo and Flynn to put locks on her doors, to drop by her house to check up on her when things were bad with her parents, and to teach her that she was worth defending, that she didn't deserve the abuse inflicted on her by the rest of the world; she had Chase, to talk with her and give her a place to forget her shitty home life, and to teach her that she could be respected and appreciated instead of mocked for being vulnerable; and she had TJ to care for, to teach her that her kindness wasn't wasted on others, that she could put love into the world and receive it back in turn. I think that in this conversation with Chase, what's on Jenna mind is how important her friends were to getting her where she is today; that if it weren't for them, she'd be like Jeremy, or Heather, or Janice. Just another victim. For Jenna, a character who is outwardly self-sufficient to the point being cold, and who is so rigorously protective of herself that she often cuts people off, this is at glimpse at how dearly she holds her friends in her heart, but it's also a subtle admission that she's not the strongest person in the world, but that she also doesn't have to be.

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Biweekly Media Roundup

- Trigun (Anime) - So I finished Trigun Stampede and my rewatch of the OG series. I actually have a bit too much to say to detail my thoughts here, I‘ll likely make a whole thing about them, but the short form is that I liked them both a good deal, and thought they both had some pretty notable strengths and weaknesses that kind of accidently make the case for each brother stronger depending on which you watch, which is interesting as while I think both are well written with their themes fully in mind, I don’t think a lot of the little details that help/hurt the argument were added for that purpose as much as they were for other things. For example, the OG series more episodic stories and light hearted tone help strengthen Vash’s argument of love and peace by showing us a world full of likable people living their own little lives who are worth saving and capable of making positive change when compared to Stampedes much faster paced story focused and crueler world. Meanwhile Stampede makes Knives a much more complex, compelling, and understandable character while also making Vash a much softer, innocent, and self-sacrificial type, making you understand why Knives would feel like he need to destroy humanity to protect his family. I’m sure there will be plenty of analysis comparing the two series, which I do look forward to, though as a whole I don’t think it should be treated as a “which is better” argument given how the series are trying to do different things. OG Trigun was a fun, episodic space western set in a unique world that was interested in exploring the pro’s and cons of pacifism through a protagonist who was often though not always able to de-escalate a situation with non-violence. Stampede is a story focused sci-fi drama that argues the ethics of surviving through the exploitation of others by framing the extremes as a heartbreaking conflict between brothers, one who feels the only way to protect himself and his family from exploitation is to completely destroy anyone who could possibly exploit them, and one who would rather let himself be exploited and have hope in humanity than hurt anyone. 

- In the Heights (Movie) - Watched this on a plane ride, and yeah, it was pretty good. The song sequences are shot really well with lots of clever camera angles and fun visuals despite being in relatively simple locations, the community functioning as a character in of itself was neat with the way everyone supported each other/felt like a little family, and I liked that the ending was pretty realistic given the characters lofty goals. That being said I can’t call it a favorite, the songs were fine and catchy but not particularly memorable for the most part, most of the characters either didn’t get enough characterization or didn’t get a satisfying conclusion to their arcs, and the pacing really suffered in the second half, the movie ending way past the climax in my opinion. I would still recommend it to musical fans, or to people looking for media with a large Latino cast though.

- Nope (Movie) - Another plane watch that I had been meaning to get around to, I was honestly pretty impressed with Nope and even more impressed upon learning about all the little details and nods to film culture it managed to fit in, such as the fictional aliens from Jupes home resembling the classic film cameras used aboard the set of the sitcom he was on. The technical aspects were all great, excellent cinematography, amazing alien design, great pacing, and lots of well done horror (Such as the sounds of Jean Jackets slow digestion and the crowd screaming as they slowly are suffocated). The theme of exploiting tragedy for spectacle is pretty well explored with some imagery that will really stick with you once you’ve seen it. Beyond that I also just enjoyed watching it, the characters were fun, I like everyone’s unusual and memorably short names, and the concept around the alien and the characters needing to interpret and understand it’s behavior was quite creative. Another impressive offering from Jordon Peele.

- Bocci the Rock (Anime) - Not super far into this yet but man, I heard Bocci would be relatable to Introverts and boy was she. Bringing an instrument to school in hopes someone would talk to her about it? We’ve all been there. The cut away animation is also very neat with how over the top and varied the styles are, very cool so far.

- Perry Mason (TV) - Watching with my dad, not particularly notable so far, but well shot with some pretty decent body horror shots.

- Buddy Daddies (Anime) - Still a cute series and I like how much it focuses on the family aspect/child rearing, though I don’t particularly like how they redeemed Miri’s mother only to kill her off, especially given that the reasoning they give for her sudden change in personality is pretty flimsy (though that may get elaborated on in future episodes). I don’t know, I know they wanted to give the guys a guilt free way to keep Miri but it would’ve been more interesting/realistic if they had just made Miri’s mother a more complicated character to begin with and let the conflict of which home Miri should stay in play out. Anyway I assume they are going to kill Rei’s dad in the last episode which I for one think is a cute bonding activity for a new couple.

- Last Week Tonight (TV) - Yup.

- The Locked Tomb Series (Books) - Just started the audio book for this, and boy do I adore Gideon already.  Absolutely love how the rest of the cast (sans Harrow) view her as a stoic, silent badass when in reality she’s a himbo lesbian fratboy with a gag order. I can’t think of another character quite like her. As a whole the worldbuilding and dialogue have been great so far too, I’m sure this will be a new obsession of mine soon. 

- Persona 5 Royal (Video Game) - In Shido’s palace at the moment, haven’t played a lot lately but I do like that we get turn into little mice and run around like that, adorable.

As usual I’m also keeping up with The Greatest Estate Developer, Land of the Lustrous, The Vampire Dies In No Time, and The S Classes that I raised.

Listening to: Nothing is Going Right by Meiyo, Eat Your Young by Hozier, Achilles Come Down cover by Annapantsu, Last Lullaby by Lea Salonga, Happier Than Ever cover by Loveless, Electric Feel by MGMT, They’re Only Human from the Death Note Musical, Counting Bodies Like Sheep by A Perfect Circle, Kickback by Kenshi Yonezu, My Kind by Hilary Duff, Hallelujah cover by Pentatonix 

[carpathxanridge]

Personally I think the reason why I'm so bothered about my jawline is the associations. I've got lip incompetence too and I think it both of those things combined make me look like the sterotype of an idiot. I'm fine with being ugly, but looking dumb? That's much harder.

Also w/ your post about being nurturing. I'm the same way. I'm super socially awkward, not really good at talking to people at first. It gets better the more I know someone though. I have a friend that has tons and tons of trauma so I've comforted her a lot and I always struggle with what to say or do no matter how much compassion I feel for her in the moment. Yet at the same time, I've been called compassionate and praised for my ability to comfort people? I have decided to get a degree in social work despite everything about me and everyone told me I would be a great social worker because how good I am at comforting people. If you figure it out, please share with me.

Also x2, are we the same person? I have no solutions to your problems (I wish I did. I can only commiserate) but everything you wrote I could have written. I too struggle with motivation to eat. Most of the time I don't even feel hunger anymore, I know I have to eat when I feel weak and dizzy. I've been forcing myself to eat at least 2 meals a day, but I can not eat for days and still not feel hungry. I have read hunger cues will disappear if you keep not responding to them, but it feels impossible sometimes to make it work. I don't even understand people who can just eat 3 times a day just effortlessly, without even thinking about it.

oh wow i’ve never even thought about that aspect, of “looking dumb.” if it makes you feel better, i don’t think the thought has ever crossed my mind upon looking someone that they look unintelligent. but i get it, for me growing up i was a “mouthbreather” (because of allergies), and even though i don’t breathe through my mouth anymore i hate that my jaw will always look like that, it’s just an “unhealthy” kind of appearance that i have to accept. it’s like an annoying exercise of like telling myself “even if people get that impression from xyz in my appearance i have worth as a person regardless and equating health/intelligence/attractiveness with self worth is eugenics thinking”… while at the same time not fully believing it myself.

as for navigating empathy and comforting others, that is exactly my experience as well my therapist has even said that i am very good at interpreting people, mediating conflict, not being driven by emotionality but being able to intuit other peoples’ emotional states, etc. which would make me good in that kind of role. but i know i’d also be terrified because it’s so high stakes, and what if i fail someone? or miss the mark because it doesn’t come naturally to me? i did just read an article though written by someone who has volunteered for years with suicide hotlines, and what surprised me so much about his account was how wooden and poorly his early calls went, but how he had a supervisor and continuing training and he improved at it over time, and there was a LOT “scripted” because the training is very specific, there’s some “science” behind what phrases and wording and types of responses are best. and it made me realize, it does more net good to be there for someone and try than to not do it at all. like i might figure out i’m not suited for it but i decided i’m going to start relatively smaller compared to an in-person position and sign up for RAINN’s rape crisis text hotline when they open applications next.

and lol we very well might be the same person anon ;’0 if you want to talk more you should dm me! or i’m on discord at carpathianridge#9856. i know not everyone likes to dm (and i’m honestly not great at it$ but my inbox is always open if u want!

[alphynix]

Retro vs Modern #20: Deinocheirus mirificus

Discovered in Mongolia in the mid-1960s, and named in 1970, Deinocheirus mirificus was a famous paleontological mystery for over 40 years.

1970-2000s

For a long time all that was known of this dinosaur was a few fragments and an enormous pair of arms – some of the largest of any known theropod at 2.4m long (7'10") – inspiring its name meaning "wonderful terrible hands".

Initially it was classified as a new type of carnosaur (which was something of a wastebasket group at the time), but similarities with the "ostrich-mimic" ornithomimosaurs were soon noted in the early 1970s. And despite some paleontologists trying to link Deinocheirus to the similarly big-armed therizinosaurs over the decades, the ornithomimosaur interpretation seemed to have won out by the early 2000s.

Depictions of Deinocheirus during this time period were highly speculative and reflected the uncertainty over its evolutionary relationships, varying from giant carnosaurs to therizinosaur-like forms to "Gallimimus but bigger" – or sometimes simply showing a hilarious pair of monster-arms reaching in from out-of-frame. Many popular dinosaur books just gave up entirely and only illustrated the known fossil material unreconstructed, and an iconic photograph of Mongolian paleontologist Altangerel Perle standing between the arms was commonly used to emphasize the sheer scale of the bones.

2020s

In the early 2000s attempts to find more fossil material at the original discovery site had only turned up a few additional fragments, including some belly ribs with evidence of having been bitten by a Tarbosaurus – suggesting that the specimen represented the scattered dismembered bits left behind by a feeding carnivore, and that the rest of the carcass might not even have fossilized.

But then between 2006 and 2009 a team of international paleontologists working in Mongolia found a couple of unusual partial skeletons at sites that had been looted by fossil poachers. While parts like the skulls and feet had been taken, the two specimens were still fairly complete and one still had enough arm material left to clearly identify it as Deinocheirus.

When the discovery was announced at the 2013 Society of Vertebrate Paleontology conference it was massive surprise to most of the paleontological community, confirming that Deinocheirus was indeed an ornithomimosaur, and that it was an incredibly weird one. Heavily-built, it was a much chunkier animal than its other relatives, and most surprising of all it had a humped "sailback" formed by long neural spines on its back vertebrae.

Then things got even better.

And stranger.

A "weird skull" had been spotted in the private fossil trade in Europe in 2011, along with some hand and foot material that perfectly matched the missing pieces of one of the new Deinocheirus specimens. The fossils were acquired and donated to a Belgian museum, and then finally were repatriated to Mongolia in 2014, filling in the rest of Deinocheirus' appearance with a suitably surprising head to go with the rest of its body.

We now know Deinocheirus lived about 70 million years ago during the Late Cretaceous, in what is now the Gobi Desert but at the time was a river-delta-like environment with numerous river channels, shallow lakes, and mudflats.

It grew up to about 11-12m long (~36-39') and had a long narrow skull with a wide beak and a deep lower jaw – resembling a hadrosaur more than an ornithomimosaur – and it had a rather small brain for a theropod of its size, proportionally closer to that of a sauropod. Its fairly weak jaw muscles suggest it mainly fed on soft vegetation, possibly foraging for aquatic plants in bodies of water like an enormous duck. Gastroliths in its gut helped to grind up its food, and the remains of fish in its stomach suggest that it was also somewhat omnivorous.

Its characteristic huge arms were actually one of the least strange things about it, and were actually proportionally smaller compared to its body size than other ornithomimosaurs. They were heavily muscled, though, with large curved claws, and may have been used to dig up food from mud and soft soil or to pull clumps of vegetation closer.

Its skeleton was highly pneumatized, full of lightening air sacs, but it was still a very big and bulky animal with relatively short legs that suggest it was rather slow-moving. Its feet resembled those of both hadrosaurs and tyrannosaurs, with blunt claws and adaptations for heavy weight-bearing in a bipedal stance.

The large sailback may have been a display structure, and the tip of its tail resembled a pygostyle and so may have sported a fan of feathers. The rest of its body was probably feathered similar to what's known from other ornithomimosaurs, although potentially more sparsely due to its huge size.

———

Nix Illustration | Tumblr | Twitter | Patreon

[elvendorx]

So… if we’re talking canon Harry Potter do you think James and Sirius had the best friendship in the story? (I think so) Where they the closest friends? How do they compare to the golden trio? Do they just top everybody? (Again I think they and with relative ease.) You write about them so beautifully and explain your thoughts and points well. I hope you don’t mind be asking

Hello! Thanks for your ask & kind words! 

I completely agree, it’s not even a contest for me, they’re the best friendship in the series. ‘Best’ is obviously subjective, but in terms of trust, loyalty, intensity and unconditionality they top everyone. Even outsiders (McGonagall, Fudge, Hagrid, Rosmerta), with the (incorrect) context of Sirius being the traitor, emphasise the intensity of their friendship, the extreme loyalty and trust - “Potter trusted Black above all his other friends” - and their closeness as a pair. For me, they outdo everyone else in terms of how far they’re willing to go together and for each other, the endurance of their friendship - absolutely zero signs of growing distance or mistrust, and in terms of the absoluteness of their trust and loyalty. It’s unconditional love, basically, lmao.

The golden trio have a different dynamic as a threesome. Because of their centrality in the series we see more of their ups and downs, their bickering, their fall-outs, so it’s easier to find those points of “weakness”. They’re teenagers and there’s the pressurised environment of the war later on so I don’t think that should undermine their friendship. Even so, I do think it highlights James and Sirius’ high levels of tolerance for each other and the exceptionality of their friendship. I don’t see them having any meaningful, lasting conflict, I don’t think they’re competitive with each other, whereas with Harry and Ron there’s a sort of two-way jealousy that crops up (again, Harry doesn’t have a typical childhood so it’s exceptional circumstances) but I just don’t see that coming between James and Sirius.

I don’t see Sirius being annoyed that James has doting parents or holding it against him (whereas Harry is a bit bitter about Ron’s “easy” life as he sees it at times). There doesn’t seem to be any lingering fallout from the prank between James and Sirius either: SWM is post-prank but they target Snape without any apparent concern that doing so might encourage him to spread the information about Remus’ condition in revenge and they don’t seem to have considered that maybe their pursuit of Snape has gone too far (“Shit Snape nearly died, maybe we shouldn’t push our luck anymore!”). James has no concern that encouraging Sirius to pursue Snape might be a bad idea. The consequences for James and Sirius are negligible in a way that I don’t think they would be had it negatively impacted their friendship, even momentarily.

Sirius brings up James wherever he can, so I really feel like he would have mentioned any effect that the prank had on his friendship with James (especially in PoA where he expresses feeling responsible for James and Lily’s deaths) - just something like “James gave me a hard time about it” or “I nearly lost my friendship with your father over it” but there’s nothing like that. I also feel like Sirius would feel more ashamed of it if James had expressed any disapproval but he’s still just like “it served [Snape] right”. Remus was supposedly the more morally concerned one at school so if he’s largely letting it go, I can’t see James coming down any harder than that (could be a priority thing with Remus there considering he and Sirius are in the middle of trying to kill Peter but I feel that that just assists my point if anything). 

In terms of other pairs in the series, I would say that as readers we’re supposed to see James and Sirius & Fred and George as almost parallel double acts: they’re both involved in pushing boundaries, lax interpretations of rules, magical inventiveness and creativity, etc. I also think this is where the Marauders as pranksters thing comes from but they don’t strike me as “lol let’s slime the corridor!!!!!” kids, more “let’s show everyone how clever we are” in a superior way, hence the power play with Snape. 

I would say that J/S and F+G stand either side of the same line though, Fred and George are a bit more fun and J/S are a bit more risky, a bit darker imo. Fred and George aren’t totally harmless - stealing the car, putting boil powder in people’s pants, giving Dudley the Ton-Tongue Toffee all strike a similar note to James and Sirius blowing someone’s head up twice its normal size - but I don’t think they take themselves as seriously as James and Sirius do. I can’t see J/S opening a joke shop, for example, and Fred and George don’t actively pursue one person and torment them for sport.

So there’s a distinction there, there’s a boundary for Fred and George, and a big part of James and Sirius’ bond is the boundlessness of their friendship. There’s no limit to their trust for each other, they’re willing to die for each other, they keep the switch secret from Dumbledore because they have complete trust. But they also have similar boundaries (or lack of) in terms of what they find acceptable re: Snape and their more unsavoury activities. It’s their joint willingness to indulge in extremes, to push boundaries, their lack of limits re: themselves and each other, that suggests to me an intensity and unconditionality that brings them closer than other pairings we see. 

It’s also different because Fred and George are related, they haven’t known anything but each other, they’ve grown up together but James and Sirius forge their bond as separate people coming together. They have different upbringings yet have similar spirits and it’s essentially love at first sight on the train to school which kicks off a lifelong bond involving being prepared to die for each other. Again, unfair to expect to see Fred and George as teenagers to mirror that intensity, I’m sure Fred and George would die for each other, but I still just think it’s different.

Lily and Snape also meet as children, they call themselves “best friends”, but where James and Sirius are bonded in their beliefs, Lily and Snape’s friendship is broken apart by ideology, by one not being able to trust the other, by a fundamental disconnect in values. Ultimately they don’t have each other’s backs - Snape calls Lily a slur, Lily believes the worst in Snape even before Hogwarts, blames him for her problems with Petunia, etc. The “they’re kids and can’t be expected to always act fairly and logically” disclaimer applies here but in comparison James and Sirius are backing each other up vs Snape when the train’s barely even started moving, which sets them apart again. Outdoing friendships that predate them, I’m crying.

The descriptions of Dumbledore and Grindelwald - “the boys took to each other at once”, “both such brilliant young boys, they got on like a cauldron on fire” - mirror“your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school” and “never saw one without the other” but Dumbledore and Grindelwald’s shared boundaries of ideology are broken and their friendship starts and ends within a matter of months. Again, James and Sirius endure - through school, through Sirius leaving home, through the prank, through a war. 

I’m mainly going off friendship pairs because of how closely James and Sirius are aligned as a twosome and because it makes for clear contrast where James and Sirius have the endurance that the others don’t - “Nothing changed when they left school”. We also don’t really see codependence like the use of two-way mirrors in any other friendships - the Golden Trio have individual activities, Lily and Snape have other friends. Even if you consider Dumbledore and Grindelwald codependent, their mutual obsession crashes and burns. At the prospect of an hour or two apart, James and Sirius are like no no no absolutely impossible which in my opinion at least gives them the title of closest friendship in the series. (Sidenote: how much easier would like, an audio device have been to use in a detention? Sorry, not good enough, they need to look into each other’s eyes or whatever.)

The main thing for me is the trust, I just don’t see any instance where James or Sirius’ trust in the other falters given James’ insistence on Sirius being secret keeper, his agreement to go along with the switch when Sirius suggests it. We see a lot of friendships/relationships struggle in the series, particularly pre-second war: Dumbledore and Grindelwald, Lily and Snape, Sirius and Remus, Sirius and Regulus, Peter & the other Marauders (though covertly rather than openly until PoA) - James and Sirius survive all of it.

If you’re looking for a super healthy friendship - potentially not, because I think they bring out the best and worst in each other (which I love!!!!), but in terms of unconditionality and loyalty, imo they embody that in its most concentrated form in the series - which I think is saying a lot considering how little they actually feature together.

I will again stress that I’m obviously biassed when it comes to James and Sirius and if anyone disagrees or interprets anything differently I’d love to hear it. Also talk to me about comparative friendships I’ve overlooked! I’ve really loved answering this (apologies it took a while), thank you so much! 

[endlich-allein]

My 'Zeit' review

Okay the night was short. So as I said earlier, we need to talk about Rammstein's new album. Today no photos, just my opinion that you didn't ask and you probably don't care. It doesn't matter, I'll give it to you anyway. Obviously what follows is my personal opinion and engages only me.

What to say ? A lot because Zeit is an album that looks nothing like the others, especially not the previous one. If the Untitled album was heterogeneous as a whole, with some very good and some less good, this new album is more homogeneous, the songs are of equal quality both in their vocal and musical interpretation and in their construction. However, this homogeneity means that there is no masterpiece in this album, there is no Deutschland, there are "only" good songs without any of them really coming out of the lot. I've seen many people compare this album to Rosenrot, yet it's relatively distinguishable, the theme of the songs is closer to the LIFAD album and musically it tends to be in line with Sehnsucht. But the comparisons stop there, Zeit is a surprising album, the guys could have just done the same thing as in 2019, but no, they dared and came out of their comfort zone to deliver a totally original album, without frills, and really, really good from start to finish.

Before talking about the songs themselves, I would like us to address the two points that particularly jumped out at me. Keyboards and voice. Very clearly Flake's keyboards are the musical dominants of this album, on some songs they even go so far as to stifle the guitars. They add lightness to dark themes without overdoing it. Till's voice is a real conductor, it is his voice who sets the tempo and announces the color of the songs, Till shows us his talent as a narrator and the extent of his vocal palette, capable of yelling like to whisper his texts.

The songs now. 'Armee der Tristen' was one of the songs I expected the most and I'm not disappointed, we start strong. Mamamia keyboards ! And this heady tune with Till's voice coming up and down, slowing down the rhythm to state all my faults (lol this song sounds like my life "Depressiv, betrübt, zerschlagen / Sollten wir zusammen verzagen / Deprimiert und melancholisch / Pessimistic, devilish"). I really like this song a lot.

I will pass quickly on 'Zeit' and 'Zick Zack' since we have already been able to talk about it when the videos were released.

I found in the song 'Schwarz' little things from the songs 'Hallomann' or 'Mein Herz Brennt', when I told you that the keyboards came to counterbalance the dark theme this is the case here, with at the end the addition of violins.

'Giftig' is a fucking UFO ! Unclassifiable. Musicaly nothing to say, everything plays its role to perfection, the keyboards with their jumping score come to pose notes on the powerful riff of the guitars. And Till's voice just waiting to get angry (the "ja" at 2:22 made me weak). Too bad the song is so short, we want more.

For 'OK' and 'Dicke Titten' I was a little afraid, given the topics covered, that they would redo us 'Pussy' (because I admit it I am one of those who do not like this song). On 'OK' there is a lot of work on the guitars, a fast rhythm of drums, musically we are getting closer to "heavy", without forgetting the keyboards which are still there. This is a very good surprise for me. And 'Dicke Titten' has this absurd side that Rammstein masters perfectly, with this little cartoon music in the intro. This song sends loud.

'Meine Tränen' has an epic western side that I really appreciate. And my god this text is heartbreaking.

I think I'll go into more detail on the song 'Angst' tonight when the video comes out because I have a pretty accurate interpretation of that song. But damn it, Till is doing something crazy to us like the song 'Puppe'.

'Lugen' is an excellent song and the use of autotune (which I totally condemn in certain artists who use and abuse it) is very well used. A vocal artifice for a song that speaks of lies and illusions. Genius !

'Adieu' gets into your head very quickly "Adieu Goodbye Auf Wiedersehen". I don't really want to develop this song any further. Maybe I'll come back to that later...

Here I think I told you everything I thought of this album. After a few listens I like it more and more and I got nothing but positive from it. I would be delighted to have your opinion, to know if you like it or not and why, which songs have marked you the most, which songs you would like to see live, etc. Don't hesitate !

[thecreaturecodex]

Cobrasaur

“Study of JP Dilophosaurus Head” © Cheung Cheung Tat, accessed at his deviantArt here

[Commissioned by @martyslittleusedblog​. How the dilophosaurus came to be a venomous frilled lizard in the Jurassic Park movie happened in stages. In the book Predatory Dinosaurs of the World, Gregory Paul suggested that the dilophosaurus had some other method of killing prey besides its jaws, as he interpreted the jaws as being comparatively weak. Michael Crichton took that to mean “venom”, and the dilophosaurus was one of two venomous dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park novel (the other being procompsognathus, aka “compies”). The frill was added in the film to help distinguish it visually from the other dinosaurs (especially since the sculpts for its head and the velociraptor head are very similar).]

Cobrasaur CR 4 N Magical Beast This saurian biped is graceful and lean, with a whip like tail and hopping locomotion. It has two bony crests along the top of its skull, and a brightly colored, fleshy frill growing like a cape around its neck.

A cobrasaur is a dinosaurian chimera. It combines elements of a dilophosaurus with a cobra, as the name suggests, creating a stealthy, venomous predator. They usually travel with their frills retracted. The frill can be expanded in an instant, accompanied by hisses and rattling sounds, making the cobrasaur look much larger and more fearsome. They usually do this to drive other predators away from their kills, but will also use this ability to unsettle a prey item, right before firing toxic saliva into its face. Their venom is a neurotoxin, causing intense pain and creeping paralysis from the site of contact.

Cobrasaurs are agile and inquisitive, and they are not afraid of humanoids. They are comfortable climbing into buildings or vehicles, especially in pursuit of wounded and envenomed prey. They are usually solitary in nature, coming together only to breed. Eggs are laid in secure locations and piled with rotting vegetation to keep warm, but parental care ends immediately following birth. Juveniles are venomous from birth, and are even faster to spit venom than adults. Cobrasaurs are smaller than their dilophosaur relatives, reaching a maximum of 15 feet in length, with about half of that length in the tail.

Cobrasaur  CR 4 XP 1,200 N Medium magical beast Init +9; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +9, scent Defense AC 17, touch 15, flat-footed 12 (+5 Dex, +2 natural) hp 37 (5d10+10) Fort +7, Ref +9, Will +4 Offense Speed 30 ft. Melee bite +7 (1d6+2 plus poison), 2 claws +7 (1d4+2) Ranged spit +10 touch (blindness plus poison) Special Attacks fearsome display Statistics Str 14, Dex 21, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 13 Base Atk +5; CMB +7; CMD 21 Feats Dazzling Display (B), Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Stealthy Skills Acrobatics +9, Escape Artist +8, Intimidate +9, Perception +9, Stealth +11; Racial Modifiers +4 Intimidate, +4 Perception Ecology Environment warm forests Organization solitary or pair Treasure none Special Abilities Fearsome Display (Ex) A cobrasaur gains Intimidate as a class skill and Dazzling Display as a bonus feat. It may use its Dazzling Display feat as a standard action. Poison (Ex) bite or spit—contact; save Fort DC 15; duration 1/round for 4 rounds; effect 1d3 Dex damage; cure 1 save. The save DC is Constitution based. Spit (Ex) As a standard action, a cobrasaur can spit its venom. Treat this as a thrown weapon touch attack with a range increment of 20 feet. A creature struck is exposed to the cobrasaur’s poison, and must succeed a DC 17 Reflex save or be hit in the eyes and blinded for 1 minute. A cobrasaur can spit venom a number of times per day equal to its Hit Dice (5/day for the average specimen). The save DC is Dexterity based.

[opbackgrounds]

so I was doing some research after watching movie 6...

...and apparently it was originally written as a comedy

Yeah, I was surprised, too

Baron Omatsuri is not my favorite One Piece movie—Film Z has too many of my favorite tropes to be usurped from that position—but I do think it is the most daring. Of all the supplemental material I’ve seen and read, it feels the least...One Piece-ish. 

Yes, that includes the noodle commercials. 

If you haven’t seen the movie and can stomach a little spookiness, do yourself a favor and give it a watch. Unlike movies like Strong World or Z that have the look and feel of a manga arc, Movie 6 transplants the Straw Hat Pirates into a world that doesn’t feel like a One Piece story, taking risks and exploring themes that would never fit in the manga proper. 

In addition to the obvious changes in art and animation style, there are supernatural elements that don’t make sense within the One Piece world. None of the Straw Hats win a fight—Luffy included, although he is heavily implied to have killed the big bad at the end. The moral of the movie, if it can be said to have a moral, is if you lose the people closest to you, the answer is to forget about them and make new friends. The story ends with many questions left unanswered and the main drama between the crew unresolved.

And, if you allow me to get philosophical for a moment, I wish there were more movies like it. As I wrote in my review of Novel A, I don’t go to supplemental material or side stories looking for a repeat of what’s in the manga. Oda has written 1000 chapters of One Piece—why not spice things up a little and try something different for a change?

I know the answer isn’t that simple, and by their very nature not all risks will pan out. There will be people who don’t like this movie because it’s different, both in look and tone. But there’s something to be said about a creator putting their heart and soul into a work and having it show in the final product. 

Which brings us back to the original premise. How does a movie go from a light-hearted comedy based on a variety show theme to...this

Baron Omatsuri was directed by Mamoru Hosoda and came out in 2005. To put that into perspective, the movie was in production when the Luffy vs Usopp fight was first seen in the manga. Manga!Luffy had not yet faced the challenge of an inter-crew disputes when the story was being written and boarded, nor did the creative team have the events of Sabaody and Marineford to see how Luffy would react to the loss of his loved ones. They were working without a full understanding of Luffy’s character, and to a lessor extent the character of the Straw Hat Pirates, and it seems like Oda was much less involved In production than has been in movies since Strong World and beyond. 

Likewise, Hosoda had just left a tumultuous situation at Studio Ghibli while working on Howl’s Moving Castle, and if this interview is anything to go by (https://instrangeaeonsblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/mamoru-hosoda-on-omatsuri-danshaku-animestyle-interview-part-1/) was going through a lot of personal shit when he was brought on as director. The script he was given was originally written like a variety show—something that was carried over into the various trials seen in the final movie—and meant to be a lighthearted affair after the relatively serious Movie 5 (which I have not seen am thus unable to compare tone). 

With that backstory in mind, it’s easy to see how the bickering and backbiting between the Straw Hats early in the movie is a metaphor for Hosoda’s time at Ghibli, which is something he admits to in the interview. Movie 6 feels different than any other One Piece movie because it’s the project of a man who has had to endure the loss of those who he was close with, at least in a professional capacity. 

There are moments in Movie 6 where Luffy doesn’t feel like Luffy. More than once a member of the Straw Hats ask him to intervene during arguments, moments Luffy either ignores or doesn’t notice. It’s a version of Water 7 where instead of fighting Usopp, Luffy ignores the underlying differences within his crew, and as a result loses everybody. 

The structure of the three trials follows a clear path of deterioration within the crew, the initial goldfish scooping game showing the Straw Hats at their best and inciting the jealousy of the Baron, the ring toss sowing discord among the crew even as they snatch a narrow victory, only for them to be utterly crushed in the third and final challenge as they’re unable help one another survive. 

It is somewhat implied that the Breaking of the Fellowship(TM) is magical in nature—that like the One Ring, the Lily Carnation was able to influence the Straw Hat’s thoughts and actions, but this is never stated outright and I prefer the more mundane interpretation: That without strong leadership the Straw Hats fell victim to the manipulative machinations of the Baron, and simply self-destructed as a result.  In the end, it’s up to the interpretation of the viewer. 

And speaking of things up to interpretation, I love how the Lily Carnation isn’t explained in the slightest. The plant that initially absorbs the Straw Hats looks more like the stem of a devil fruit than a flower, it for some reason rings like a gong when hit, and somehow is able to turn pieces of itself into facsimile of the Baron’s old crew who can somehow move around despite being plans. It’s weird, it’s wonderful, and the element of the unknown works so well in the horror-lite setting. 

My personal theory is the island somehow managed to eat a devil fruit which manifests itself as the Lily Carnation (which due to the L/R conflation in Japanese, is pronounced ‘reincarnation’, which I think is a nice touch of foreshadowing that may or may not have been intentional).

(Also, I can’t decide if little chewing animation it makes when it’s eating people or the weird bullseyes it makes when shit gets real are the most terrifying thing in the movie.)

Hmmm, tasty.

Anyway, this is getting long, so here are some final thoughts:

1) This movie has some low key fantastic outfits. The Straw Hats all look very cool without being over designed like a lot of recent movies. Big hat Robin is of course a fave, and makes me really want to see her in a Carmen Sandiego getup.

2) Screenshots do not do the animation of the movie justice. It’s very fluid and has a lot of excellent expressions/poses, although I admit the 3D is jarring at times. Do not let the art put you off if you haven’t seen it 

3) Also, I don’t think there’s any shading? Like at all? The movie does a lot of cool stuff with color instead. For example, the scene where Luffy initially loses to the Baron his skin goes all grey, and I thought it was because he was fighting at night, but it stays grey even in the better lighting of the underground tunnels and stays that way until he finds out the Straw Hats are still alive, where it returns to his normal color

4) There’s an extended Benny Hill-type gag when Luffy first chases after the little mustache pirate that’s perfectly timed to the music, and ends when Luffy just uses his power to grab him. The comedic timing is amazing and it’s probably my favorite funny moment in the movie, of which there are several despite the overall darker tone

5) The extended jungle shot from Nami’s POV? Very cool

6) I love how from the earliest scenes nothing is as it seems. The opening text is Robin reading the map, but the storm that’s seen on screen is the one that sank the Baron’s crew. Likewise the whole fancy city is shown to be fake panels early on, the goldfish catching game is a trap, etc., etc. It does a good job clueing the viewer in early that’s something’s very wrong on the island, even if they don’t realize it at first

7) I don’t think this type of movie would work in modern One Piece without somehow nerfing Luffy. Horror works best when the protagonist is weak and vulnerable, and that fits best with a pre-Gear 2/3 Luffy (same with the rest of the crew, tbh. I was waiting for Nami to use her lightning stick during the games, forgetting it hadn’t been boosted yet). 

8) I like how there are four captains on the island representing different levels of loss—the Baron has lost his crew and wants to destroy all others because of it, mustache pirate lost his crew and is willing to put it behind him to make new friends, Luffy has freshly lost his crew and hasn’t decided what path he will go, and coward dad hasn’t lost his crew yet but is at risk if he doesn’t change his cowardly ways

9) I think the reason why Chopper was the first Straw Hat to disappear is he’s the most likely to play the part of peacemaker. He’s also the only crew member needing rescuing at the end of the goldfish scoop game, when Luffy foolishly puts his life at risk trying to save him from drowning, just like he recklessly charges the Baron at the end of the movie. Except that time there was no Sanji to save him, leaving Luffy to get his ass thoroughly kicked

10) This is a very good Halloween movie, and I’m glad I watched it in October

[xiverni]

“Heroes hurt their own families, only to help complete strangers.”

I feel as though people are taking this line by Shigaraki in weirdly literal directions. While, yes, there is a literal interpretation of this line, I feel like it was included mainly to indicate the larger philosophical difference between Shigaraki (and the PLF in general) and the Heroes.

Considering the literal interpretation, we have the case of Kotarou Shimura, who felt as though his mother, Nana Shimura, had chosen her life as a hero over her life as his mother. 

It could be argued that the actual reason why Nana abandoned Kotarou was to save Kotarou’s life from AFO, and thus Kotarou was wrong in his reasoning. However, this argument misses the basic fact that Nana, no matter the nuance later down the road, did in fact choose to pursue a dangerous career as a hero and have a son. She accepted One For All, likely knowing that AFO would come after her sooner or later. If she had pursued her heroic path before having Kotarou, then it stands to reason that her decision to have her son was at least somewhat careless and shortsighted. If she had Kotarou before becoming a hero, then she willingly chose a career path that would put her life and her son’s mental wellbeing in danger. In either case, Kotarou’s initial feelings about Nana are, at least to a point, justified.

This interpretation, however, is not the one I believe is the most important. Rather, I feel like the line above is supposed to show the core disagreements that Shigaraki has with hero society.

Shigaraki values individual desires and wills above “the greater good”, much like his mentor does. We even see Shigaraki being taught this very lesson as a child, planting the seeds of his unawakened philosophy.

Even before this lecture, Shigaraki saw the way the bystanders in the streets looked at him and treated him: not maliciously and not benevolently. The people on the streets were, for the most part, completely apathetic to Shigaraki and his struggles. This phenomenon, known as Bystander Syndrome, is something that occurs in our own world, although it has been plainly stated to have worsened within the world of MHA, as people have become complacent and shirked at their individual responsibility.

This disagreement is shown quite clearly in the ideals of the PLF: absolute freedom to express one’s very identity and powers, at the expense of the larger health of society. The PLF, much like Shigaraki, seeks to “liberate” the world from heroes, by tearing down the fabric of society and replacing it with a system in which people are taught to defend themselves. 

The way Shigaraki treats his comrades is quite indicative of his individualist outlook as well. He treats them with relative compassion, even declaring to the world that all he wants is for them to live the way they see fit. 

(this is not given nearly enough focus by the fanbase, even though it’s one of the most important things Shigaraki has said, ever)

Interestingly enough, Shigaraki’s individualist philsophy rings true for nearly all of his comrades, and all of his comrades seem to represent different ways that society can fail a person.

Toga was rejected and driven insane by her parents’ (and society at large) rejection of her deviant quirk, which had caused her to be attracted to blood. She represents the way that some people who have difficult mental conditions are forced to conform to societal expectations that can simply be alien to them.

Twice made a simple and honest mistake that led to his life spiraling out of control. He represents the plight of individuals who are left behind in the cracks of society, people for whom society simply didn’t care enough about to seek after.

Spinner was a victim of discrimination and racist vitriol, due to his appearance as well as his unusually weak quirk. His weak social position caused him to seclude entirely from society, until his will was reawakened by Stain’s conviction and later Shigaraki’s conviction. 

Dabi, if we assume that he is in fact Touya Todoroki, is almost a perfect showcasing of Shigaraki’s philosophy. He was abused by his hero father in order to become a hero that could then go on to save “complete strangers”. It almost fits perfectly with Kotarou’s words.

In general, every main villain we currently have in the story has been a victim of the larger society pressing down on their individual characteristics. What Shigaraki, and the PLF in extension, fight for is the exaltation of the individual over the larger society. 

Compare this with the philosophy of heroes such as All Might, who have a very collectivist understanding of the world: secure and promote peace in society, disregarding the cost to the individual. All Might lost multiple organs and his devoted sidekick and friend, all because of the fact that he was a hero and it was his job to protect “complete strangers”. His characteristic smile is an extension of this, as Nana Shimura once stated that no matter how scared and distraught a hero is, they should always keep smiling, as to ward off the fears of others. Compare this to Shigaraki, who is constantly showing off his emotions at every second.

This is not to say that one side is clearly better than the other. From a utilitarian standpoint, the heroes are obviously justified in nearly everything that they do (and even from more deontological frameworks, the villains aren’t looking too great on that scale either). I’m not trying to make a moral judgement, rather I’m trying to clarify what I see as the root of the main philosophical battle of MHA: individualism versus collectivism, the closer good versus the greater good, and “your own family” versus “complete strangers”.

EDIT :

I don’t think Nana is a horrible person or anything. In fact, I actually think she made the right decision in abandoning Kotarou. It was either that or having her son die due to exposure to AFO. My point is that Nana’s decision to become a hero, whether or not it came before or after having a child, probably cemented this belief into Kotarou that his mother was more concerned about saving “complete strangers” than her own family. While her decision to abandon Kotarou after learning about the fact that AFO was hunting her down was perfectly understandable and correct, the fact that AFO was hunting her down in the first place was due to her status as a hero with OFA. If Nana never became a hero, and thus never chose the path of saving “complete strangers”, then her family wouldn’t be in such danger that Nana’s husband was killed and she was forced to leave behind her son. Of course, I also believe that her decision to accept OFA and become a hero was justified and correct, especially considering the state of society at the time. But it is undeniable that she chose a path that would result in her saving countless people from AFO, but at the same time putting her family in danger and eventual doom. 

TLDR; If Nana didn’t give up Kotarou, he would probably have died from AFO anyway. That said, the only reason AFO was after Nana was because she had decided to become a hero, and with OFA to boot. Thus, Nana’s choice to save the greater society would come at the expense of her family’s safety. Which Nana recognized, thus is why she abandoned Kotarou. 

[warsofasoiaf]

The theory and in practice but let me clarify, it seems that Communism and Fascism both advocate for state control over the economy, both have cult of personality dictatorships with semi regular purges of the military and ruling classes, and both are against liberal democracy/capitalism and individual rights. I mean I guess Communism didn't have the racism of Nazi Germany or Fascist Italy but aside from that are the two systems markedly different?

Alright - this will be a long and controversial answer that discusses some unpleasant topics. Any discussion of fascism, even academic, is bound to cause problems, so let me throw a cut in. Also, take into account where I'm coming from. I've studied these movements but I am strongly opposed to them, I consider them both to be movements that depend on a dictatorship that brutally suppresses dissent. So take into account that my reading and interpretation is likely to be vastly different than a supporter of either of these movements.

To understand fascism, you have to understand the theory of fascism. Part of the problems is that fascism is hard to pin down. Part of that is due to the politicization of the term - political tribal emphasize elements of fascism that coincide with their political enemies so that they can guilt-by-association and accuse their political enemies of being fascist or crypto-fascist. This isn't just no-name people on the internet, even historical scholars have used bad scholarship of fascism in an attempt to exonerate and promote their own desired ideological beliefs. Throughout the 20th century, capitalism, socialism, communism, social democracy, libertarianism, liberalism, you name it, it's been called fascist, and 99% of the time, the reason has been bunk.

Fascism has a core ideological belief that is unchangeable and inherent - a need for the mass mobilization of all resources of a society in order to address the complexity of the modern world. Liberalism and democracy were seen as too chaotic and too co-opted by the power elite, politicians, industrial barons, aristocracy, to pursue their own narrow self-interest instead of the good of the nation. A strongman was needed to save civilization (and this apocalyptic crisis is not hyperbole on my part, fascist thinkers frequently talk of those times as a civilizational crisis) and the nation by discerning the true interest of the people - the national will - and utilize their supreme control of the national resources in order to achieve it. Thus, the fascist unites all aspects of society under the national will, putting all forces at its command via the fascist party where all apparati are organs of the state - this is called corporatism and little understood in the modern day; I'd go so far as to say one of the chief reasons why fascism is misunderstood is a lack of understanding of corporatism. This idea of national will is important, fascism articulates a national rebirth in devotion to this national will, where all members of society contribute to the pursuit of the national goals. These typically but do not require the acquisition of territory and resources to further the strength and economic self-sufficiency of the nation. Autarky as an economic goal is a pursuit of national strength, to reduce the nation's vulnerability to trade disruption in the event of a war, since their foreign policy is likely as not to be quite hostile and nations would probably refuse to trade with them. Fascism possesses a cult of technological modernity that stems from the central premise of the dictatorship needed to address the technological challenges of the modern age, particularly in the era of mass mobilization of total war - the strength of the fascist nation is shown through its technological inventions and its industrial prowess - hence why Mussolini took great pains to express (and grossly exaggerate) the efficiency of Italian society in employment and productive output. Total war is important to the tenets of fascism, the industrial base that supported a war led to a belief in warfare that there was no such thing as a non-combatant, that the factory worker was as much a part of the military engine as the soldier. Taken to its extreme, the fascist ideology conceived that as fascism was the nation, all those who opposed fascism were not of the state and thus enemies of the state. Since there are no non-combatants, anyone opposed to fascism is an active combatant against the nation and thus must be removed for the good of the state. Since to be non-fascist is to be an enemy of the state, the fascist party is the only party permitted and permeates all elements of society - as if all of the resources are needed to be mobilized, the fascist must be everywhere to mobilize them. This central concept rationalizes and forms the understanding for fascism as totalitarian.

This wedded itself with the relatively new (1870's is when it started) theory of social Darwinism, an adaptation of Darwinian evolutionary theory into the realm of society and politics. Social Darwinism, in essence, posited that there were "strong" and "weak" groups and that the strong inherently displaced and eliminated the weak in a parallel biological phenomenon of evolution. The fascist ideology would prove its strength by successfully handling the crises that the weak liberal regimes were unable to solve and prove their societal fitness. Communism, with its articulation of the proletariat-bourgeoise conflict, was seen as counterproductive. Economically, fascism saw "productivist" forces as strong, which were workers, soldiers, technicians, entrepreneurs, inventors, and so on, while non-productive forces were primarily relegated to those seen as belonging to parliamentarian, individualistic, or otherwise non-fascist characteristics. So fascist societies saw the removal of all these undesirable forces as necessary to further the full mobilization of all national resources.

Similarly, the theory of communism needs to be understood in order to compare and contrast the two ideologies. Communism as a theory stems from ruminations and expansions on socialism and applying theories toward political science and sociology. Marx articulated that society was where it was largely due to economic forces and the relation of people to the means of production. According to the labor theory of value, the value of goods produced is equivalent to the work needed to produce those goods and the work needed to extract the raw products that went into the production of those goods. Thus, in order to create a profit, a capitalist must increase the price of a good to sell it - thus the capitalist has a parasitic relationship to the worker where it extracts surplus value and artificially increases their own wealth without providing any value, a classic example of rent-seeking behavior. As profits tend to fall over time, the capitalists continual pursuit leads to a constant instability, which will cause the workers to unite against their exploiters. This is not due to a social Darwinist outlook, at least, by Marxist standards (which were articulated decades after when Marx wrote), but as the continuing natural state of historical progression of people and their relationship with the means of production.

Marx articulated the necessity of a dictatorship of the proletariat, possessing an understanding of history and theory, to act on behalf of the workers to seize the means of production, protect the state from reactionary capitalists and other movements hostile to the new workers' state, and enact central planning to satisfy the economic and social needs of the nation. He cited the Paris Commune of 1871 as an example of this dictatorship. As the dictatorship collectivized the means of production and transformed society, the dictatorship would wither away as its coercive power would no longer be required by the transformed people, the new socialist man in a society absent economic classes and distinctions. No longer would the economy be driven by the selfish demands of private enterprise which does not seek to satisfy the physical and social needs of its people, but rather an economy driven by the needs of its citizens.

Perhaps the largest theoretical difference is in regard to the nation itself. Communism is, in theory, an international movement that transcends borders, while fascism is completely focused on the nation and nationhood. One of the largest differences in the theory is the idea of the dictatorship. In communism, the coercive apparatus of the dictatorship withers away as the transformation of society proceeds to full communism - it in essence makes itself obsolete and is abolished as a result. In fascism, the dictatorship is the point - the strongman is in power to discern the national will and to direct the mobilization of society as opposed to the chaotic and selfish desires of private individuals that results in inefficiency and pursuit of objectives contrary to the national renewal and goals. Another chief difference is the role of class in society. In a fascist system, the society is very structured and ordered into classes, that each have their own role for the good of the nation. In a system that has achieved full communism, social classes are a thing of the past - all men are equal to one another regardless of profession as all are workers. Property ownership is different in these theories as well, a communist state has no ownership and is defined instead by usership, while fascist societies have individual members of the party placed in ownership of facilities with direction from the state - not only does the party direct production for the nation's benefit, but this serves as a useful tool to reward high-performing members of the party.

That's just theory, and it's truly bare-bones at that, it doesn't even articulate the differences between Mussolini's fascism with Hitler's Nazism anymore than it does Marxism-Leninism versus libertarian socialism - this is just high-level stuff and so much of those ideas go into implementation when the theory jumps off the page. There's so much that goes into it, and there's so much that goes into just the parts of where these ideas diverged from each other, as well as syndicalism and Sorelianism and other influences. In truth, there are entire reams of scholarship devoted to studying just one of these things and I'm abbreviating it to the point where I've missed a whole lot I wanted to put in. I can do some stuff in practice if you like.

Have a good one, James.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[endae]

Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged way way back by @fallen-gravity, and again by @novantinuum. Sorry for the delay, thank you so much Cindy and Jen! ❤️

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently, 19, but there's still a handful I need to move from Tumblr over to AO3.

What’s your total word count on AO3

110,008!

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Well over a decade now, and surprisingly only 3! I started out in Resident Evil, moved to Pandora Hearts, and now Gravity Falls.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Just Keep Breathing comes in at number one (in no small thanks to fex's beautiful fanart of it, I'm sure). Following it is Aftercare, Rescind, Reset, Louder Than Words, and out and alive.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really pride myself on responding to every single comment. It's so important for me to show my readers how much I value them taking the time to say something. I try to match their comments lengthwise, a small thank you for anyone that drops a few lines, and something much longer for the ones that really get into it.  

(that being said, if you've sent me one and it's been months, I see it, I promise, I will get to it eventually,)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

[spoilers for the fic but] It's definitely Before the Bridges Burn. With the premise in the summary, and the fact that I'm working on a sequel, anyone without a clue can probably draw their own conclusions. But you have my promise that Ashes will have a much warmer ending 🙏

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever written?

I haven't yet! It's probably a mix I won't ever make an attempt on, but I was really piqued by all the GF-Undertale crossover content that was floating around back in 2015 when it first came out.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I'm fortunate to say I haven't, and hoping it stays that way 🤞

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I haven't, no.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, and I hope that's still the case.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet, but it might be on the horizon! A friend dropped a fic idea that I'm dying thinking about, and if they ever wanted to commit to it, I'd be on it with them in a heartbeat.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Link and Zelda :) nowadays I could go either way with them as friends or a couple, but it was probably my first ship ever.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A soulmate AU that I was wavering back and forth on for a bit. I've got a lot of heart for it, and while the platonic interpretation of the trope has been embraced a little more in recent years, I still think it's just a little too daunting to put out in public.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I write tense moments relatively well. I put a lot of thought into buildup because the payoff means so much to me. I usually start with the wham moments and craft the rest of the chapter/standalone fic around it, so when it’s all said and done, those moments were truly the heart of the whole thing.

Related to that, I think I’m really good about weaving callbacks and red flags back through WIPs. My biggest goal for anything is for someone to think “I should have noticed that,” or, making the emotional volatile moments carry that much more of a punch because of things I laced throughout it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

brevity my detested,

I think I struggle just...getting to the point lol. I think my descriptions can get a little carried away, because in my head I want the imagery to match as if you were watching a movie, when the two mediums aren’t meant to translate together. I’ll finish something and scroll back and realize “oh. that got Long.” and then awkwardly try to shave it down.

Another that’s been particularly bad lately is just comparing myself to others. I don’t think my writing is as pretty as some of the other writers I follow. Sometimes I even feel like I read old stuff of mine that beats what I put out today and wonder what happened. (tbf life was simpler back then, so I’m sure that’s. half of it)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think if you're studying, fluent, or consulting with someone who is, go for it! So long as there’s translations or otherwise easy-to-follow notes of what’s being said somewhere else that we can refer to.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Resident Evil, back when I was about 12.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Still to this day, I’m most proud of Bridges. Even if it was a short multichapter, it’s the first I ever completed, across all fandoms. Nowadays It’s my little of beacon of hope that I can finish stuff even when it feels impossible. There’s a lot working against me these days, but my heart’s still in my writing and the people it connects me with. ❤️

I’m tagging @pinesbrosfalls, @fexalted, and @fordanoia informally if you guys feel like doing it. and you reading this if you haven’t yet!

[makeste]

literally just a giant post of Bakugou faces.

today, 4/20 (actually it is very much still only 4/19 over here, but to heck with it, we’re getting an early start dammit), is Bakugou Katsuki’s birthday. and as someone who loves Bakugou and who also hasn’t found much worth rejoicing about in April 2020 in general, it’s important to me to celebrate the shit out of this day. but these are strange times and I am le tired, and so what my tired brain ended up arriving at was “just do a post about how much you love his stupid face.”

so these are my favorite Bakugou faces. I stopped after Kacchan vs. Deku because this post was already like 100k words (slight exaggeration) with like 40,000 faces (slight), and because this already took forever and the next 130-something chapters were only going to have about one fifth as many good faces compared to the first 120, even though there are some good ones there still to be sure. but anyway, so there are no spoilers here. 

happy birthday Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s angsty side profile with his hair covering his eyes.

why I like it: he scured.

lol but seriously. because up until this point he’s just been a complete asshole. even after he gets grabbed by sludgeman, he’s all “AS IF I’D LET THIS MUDMAN TAKE MY BODY FOR HIMSELF”, and he’s all feral-looking, and at first you’re like “eh he’ll be fine.” but then along comes this panel to serve as our narrator saying “he was not fine.” because he really is not. and on the page before this too, you can see how tired and desperate his struggles are starting to get. and absolutely no one is trying to help him. and he’s fighting, he’s straining, but he can’t. fucking. breathe.

and then this panel. and he’s just a kid. he looks so very, very young here, like this is the youngest he looks throughout the entire series except for in his flashbacks, and it’s because all the pride and bluster and anger are stripped away and he’s just a boy underneath it and he’s scared. “you looked like you needed saving.” exactly. exactly. and for Katsuki to actually ask for help is so rare. so you know that when he does ask (and he absolutely was begging for someone to come help him even though he couldn’t vocalize it. credit to Horikoshi for conveying all of that emotion in a single panel), he really, really needs it. thankfully there was one person watching who finally snapped himself out of that “a hero’s bound to come along soon” mindset that had everyone else gripped, and realized that he needed to be that hero.

why I like it: because he’s humiliated and fairly shaken up and also the most handsome he’s looked up until this point, but most of all he’s just chewing his lip and being all “god fucking dammit did fucking Deku really just save me, fuck my life, why is the universe fucking dumb.” like even after this hugely traumatizing experience, he’s incredibly resilient to the point where after he calms down, his lingering emotions are mainly just “smdh this is a new level of irritated even for me.” he is so brave and thickheaded and tough and absurdly, ridiculously petty jesus christ.

why I like it: like the old man said. his face just screams “I’m a rotten thief.”

there’s so much personality in this one expression. and then it’s juxtaposed against proto!Katsuki who I really desperately just want to punch in the face. just. my son my be a dick, but by god he’s an honest dick.

why I like it: baby?? cute baby??? mine?? my baby?!?

he’s just like. “I got it all figured out. gosh I’m so good at life.” that is the face of a child who has never encountered a single difficulty in his very young existence. everything is easy and he expects to be good at everything and he always is and he’s so, so pleased with himself. with a kid that little you really don’t want to go and shatter their dreams just yet, but maybe someone should have taken him down just a peg or two before it all got out of hand. alas. he was so cute that nobody wanted to and I can’t even blame them because he’s just that fucking cute, though.

why I like it: this is a very underrated panel which I think most people probably don’t even recall. it’s from chapter 11 just after he loses to Deku and Iida, and specifically right after Momo just completely lays into him and explains in vivid detail exactly how stupid every single one of his decisions was lmao. and it’s like he’s just had his eyes opened. he talks about her speech later, too, so it clearly had an impact.

there is no pride here at all. initially when I was reading this, I thought he was still shell-shocked. but looking back at it, and knowing what I do now about his unexpected willingness to accept criticism (something I certainly wouldn’t have expected during my first readthrough of this chapter), I think this is also a genuine “!” face as he realizes that she’s completely fucking right. YOU DONE GOOFED SON. but it’s okay because he learned from it!

also look how big his eyes are. when they get all wide like that. it’s so rare that I have to appreciate each and every time it happens. also he has no right to have such thick eyelashes. goddammit.

why I like it: because he’s strongest at his moment of weakness! because he’s upset but he learned from it! because he is such a strikingly human character with such complex emotions and there’s such a lovely mix of them on display here and that shit is my weakness! because this is when I signed the adoption papers (well, had them finalized after I initially obtained them after the “you looked like you needed saving” face in chapter 1, at least)!! because he always cries in front of Deku and doesn’t get embarrassed, but then he does get embarrassed if anyone else shows up! because his emotions around Deku are so raw and out of control! because the intensity of them is as compelling as it is confusing! but mostly because someone showing fierce determination while simultaneously showing intense vulnerability is basically the cheat code to unlocking my heart, and also the best thing anyone can ever draw in a shounen manga. thank you I’ll take infinity of them.

why I like it: because half of 1-A saw this face and instantly thought “fuck that’s hot” and then went “!! oh fuck me” but it was too late! that’s right kids. even knowing firsthand what a trashpile he can be, you’re still not immune to his charms. that confidence, though.

why I like it: the face of a boy who has just realized that holy shit, there are other people in his class. nothing gets past him. his reflexes are too fast.

why I like it: the slow motion (this is such a cool moment even if it’s at his expense lol), and the fact that this is such a weird and totally unique expression, and yet he somehow almost manages to make it look good. actually he does make it look good, let’s be real. of course, this was back when Horikoshi had more time to roll up his sleeves and really get into the art. look at all that shading goddamn.

why I like it: he cares!! he has feelings!! he has concern about someone other than him omfg whaaaaaat.

he’s so unsettled by what he just heard about Todoroki. the guy who was so strong and cool turned out to have an absolutely horrifying shounen protagonist past that he never let on about. honestly this scene is one of the reasons why I’m so strongly in favor of not interpreting Katsuki’s parents as abusive; because I just really like the character arc of him actually having a pretty good childhood, all things considered, but still having all these problems. because sometimes people actually do have everything going for them and yet they still screw up, because people are only human and sometimes you can fuck up (or be fucked up) even on easy mode! and if that happens it doesn’t mean you’re any more to blame, or more worthy of derision or scorn, or that you already had your chance so screw you, or any of that! anyway so that’s just such an interesting and relatively rare thing to explore and so I like it.

anyway. so just, the idea of him thinking of Todoroki as someone who had it made all his life, only to realize that’s not actually the case at all and that he’s actually the privileged one in comparison, just makes for a really great character-building moment. it’s a really big wake up call for him, especially given that he’s so often just wrapped up in himself and his own concerns still at this stage of the game. and it’s a moment that has a lasting impact on him and that he doesn’t forget, and it helps contribute to him starting to learn more empathy.

why I like it: my child is rabid please help.

but he’s so happy to have Ochako prove to be such an unexpectedly worthwhile opponent. she was sneaky and she nearly got him and he only just made it out by the skin of his teeth and fuck yes, that was awesome. he was really ready to throw down some more with her and it was gonna be the highlight of his fucking day. I just love seeing him acknowledge other people’s strength, because we know the value he places on being strong. so that’s a ton of respect from him, and Ochako fucking earned it, and this is just a great moment.

why I like it: just casually spittin facts and launching ships. nothing to see here move along.

why I like it: for everyone reblogging that one scene of shoujou!Bakugou from the anime over and over again, I just want to remind you all that as great as that scene is, we shouldn’t forget that in the manga he can be effortlessly handsome without even trying.

why I like it: as I said above.

why I like it: another one of the infamous “haah!?” faces. whenever he does these that one raised-eyebrow eye always goes so wide, and even though he’s trying to look like a pissed off thug it always makes him look surprisingly young instead.

also I’m not crazy for seriously wondering if Horikoshi’s art peaked all the way back in the sports festival arc though, right?? you honestly can’t find a bad panel even if you specifically go out and look for them.

why I like it: babyyyy.

I still don’t get how anyone could watch this scene and not get that he was way more upset than he was actually angry. he looks like he’s about to cry honestly.

why I like it: MY PRECIOUS SON’S ANGELIC SLEEPING FACE. all tuckered out. he’s had a hard day.

but seriously when you smooth out all of the >:O it is amazing how young he actually looks though. this one panel is shaded in such a way that you can see that he still has baby fat in his cheeks!! he’s just a little boy! HE IS A LITTLE CHILD LIKE THE REST OF THEM AND YOU MADE HIM PARTICIPATE IN THESE HUNGER GAMES AND HE KICKED ASS AND THEN GOT SAD AND YOU MADE HIM SLEEP AND CHAINED HIM TO A POST WHEN HE WOKE UP ANGRY AND TRYING TO BITE PEOPLE. anyways what a whirlwind of events huh.

why I like it: this child is literally trembling. he has been shaken to his very core. also for real though how did Jeanist even do that. anyways great internship or greatest internship.

why I like it: this is from chapter 60, right after he basically declares war on Deku and says he’ll crush him during final exams. then he turns around and is just like AND LET’S NOT FORGET THIS ASSHOLE HERE!!! and his eyes are practically bulging out and Todoroki just has his trademark “!!!” totally blank stare. this panel fully kills me guys.

why I like it: how was he THE CUTEST CHILD WHO EVER LIVED?? look at his little fists?! I can’t even deal with this???

why I like it: I actually like this one even more than the more iconic “the strongest heroes always win in the end” panel right below it, because in this panel you can more clearly see that he was crying quite a lot (he was only six!!), but it seems to me that it was more because of the unfairness of it than because he was hurt. even though he was hurt. but these jerks bumped into him and then acted like it was his fault, and it was two against one and he was much younger than them and IT’S JUST ROUGH YOU GUYS! LIFE IS HARD WHEN YOU’RE SIX! but he’s a little tough guy though so he scrubs the tears away in this very clumsy and boyish fashion because HE WON ANYWAY SO TAKE THAT! he is so little but already so determined.

why I like it: his eyes are just so intense all the time. even when it’s not an intense moment at all. also the dot shading here is so cool.

why I like it: okay so technically it’s the back of his head and not his face. but I feel like the fact that Kacchan was twitching and flinching and shaking too doesn’t get enough attention in this scene. he and Todo were both wigging out here and I love it. during the third light novel he also gets freaked out by the whole Disney Channel “we were telling a ghost story but now it seems like the story has come to life” plot that goes on at one point, just fyi. Kacchan is absolutely that kid who will refuse to watch scary movies just because “they’re dumb” and definitely NOT because he is scared, how fucking dare you sir.

why I like it: because this is the first of many scenes in this arc and the next arc in which he is freaking out but doing an excellent job of covering it up with his natural ferocity. he and Shouto have just come across one of their classmates’ arms lying in the middle of the path being chewed on by a villain in a straitjacket. his first reaction is to ask Shouto which of their classmates had been out on the path in front of them. he has immediately put two and two together, and he is immediately ready to throw hands with this dude, rules or no rules. but you can see the shading over his eyes though, and I think that -- along with the sweat visible on his face -- is a huge indicator of how horrifying this actually is to him.

why I like it: because this blank “processing...” expression that he sometimes gets when a lot of people are talking at once and he’s not really sure but he is pretty sure that he doesn’t like where this is heading, is my favorite.

why I like it: because even now it’s still ambiguous just what exactly was the prevailing emotion in these eyes and this expression, and the prevailing sentiment behind the “stay back.” I happen to think it was fear! not the same overwhelming, helpless fear as the 14-year-old who was caught up in the sludge, but a very on-edge, controlled-panic fear of a 16-year-old who’s trying to remain in control because he’s a hero in training now. and I think the “stay back” is the “stay back” of a boy who knows the look in that other boy’s eyes, and knows that it’s no use this time. it’s not protective, and it’s not hostile or defensive either. it’s just... resigned. don’t do it, Deku. that could have been the last thing he ever said to him, and it was measured and brave even through his fear and I love him so much.

why I like it: this is one which has to be viewed in juxtaposition with the panel immediately above it lol. Tomura looks like he could literally stare a man to death with those crazy eyes, and Kacchan is comparison just looks so ridiculously young and small and out of his league. but he doesn’t crack. but his eyes are super wide and even the shadows underneath them are stressed almost to their breaking point. like I’m screwed I’m screwed I’m so goddamn fucking screwed oh shit. my baby, guh. this was such a fucking scary experience though for real??

why I like it: same deal as above lol. this whole situation just keeps getting worse and worse, and here he’s just probing for more information while simultaneously trying to buy himself more time to think of a miracle plan. there really isn’t much chance of him getting out of here unscathed at this point (or at least there wouldn’t have been if the heroes hadn’t shown up), but I don’t think he’s letting himself think about that yet. but I’m sure it’s there at the back of his mind all the same.

why I like it: this is my favorite Bakugou face ever. SO MANY EMOTIONS. All Might came to save him! his hero!! he beat the bad guys (or so they think for that brief moment anyway) and it’s all okay now! he was alone but now he’s not anymore and All Might is there! and he is relieved, and he actually lets his guard down to show it for just a split second! his lip is trembling! I don’t think he even realizes for a moment, and then he does, and he immediately goes all tough guy again and the moment is gone! but while it’s there! it’s so much! I have never so badly wanted to hug a fictional character in my life.

why I like it: don’t you think this person could one day inspire thousands of others. do you see this courage in those eyes. the way he pushes past fear and panic and fatigue. don’t think, don’t doubt. just win.

why I like it: by now you have probably detected a pattern of me liking all of the Kamino faces because he was going through so many emotions that for once the walls just couldn’t keep up. he always looks so much younger when he’s not making >: faces. everything just smooths out. I also like that Horikoshi never makes his expressions symmetrical; he almost always has one eye wider than the other, eyebrows doing different things, stuff like that.

also this is when he sees All Might’s true form for the first time, and you can just see it hit him like a punch to the gut. All Might weakened; All Might weakened because of him; All Might might lose (!?!); All Might might die???? Katsuki’s entire world is falling apart in an instant, and in this moment he’s just a little boy.

why I like it: it beginsss. the angstening.

he’s not even resisting the hand guiding him. none of his usual unruliness or general aura of barely-checked rage. he just looks tired. and completely lost in his own thoughts. which as we now know were not good. I cannot fucking believe we had to wait another 25 chapters after this to finally get this kid a damn hug.

why I like it: because Bakugou Mitsuki is fulfilling my (and dating sim!Momo’s) lifelong dream of ruffling Bakugou Katsuki’s (spiky yet fluffy!!) hair. and all he can do is just chew his lip and halfheartedly glare at her all “mooooooOOOOmmm.” he doesn’t even really look pissed off here (because it’s hard to be mad when someone is talking about how worried they were about you and how relieved they are that you’re safe now, especially when that someone is your mom who isn’t normally the type to be so open about this kind of stuff at all), just begrudgingly grumpy. and I swear to god his bottom lip is made of fucking rubber the way he moves it around, just look at it.

why I like it: those eyelashes though!?!? [grabs Katsuki by the shoulders and shakes him roughly] WHY ARE YOUR EYES SO PRETTY.

why I like it: this is right after he found out he flunked the license exam, and you can see how upset he is. obviously we now know that shortly thereafter he went and had a complete meltdown. and buddy if you keep grinding your teeth like that, your dentist is also going to have a meltdown.

and yet again Horikoshi manages to strike this uncanny balance between making him look pissed off and making him look like he’s trying very, very hard not to cry. he just failed, again. it’s like the whole world is screaming at him over and over again that he’s not hero material at all.

why I like it: because he drags Deku out to the middle of nowhere and is all “I know you have All Might’s power and we’re gonna fight”, and Deku protests, and you expect Kacchan’s reaction to be just about anything other than what it actually is. this is as close to pleading as Katsuki is ever going to get. he may not be drowning in sludge but he is still desperate.

why I like it: this may be the best Katsuki that Horikoshi has ever drawn.

why I like it: super ultra mega unpopular opinion: I like this panel even more than THE PANEL!! that follows shortly after it. I am a sucker for when Horikoshi does this thing where he shows Katsuki’s face from a side profile, and his eyes are covered by his hair so you can’t see his full expression, but you know it is something vulnerable because he only ever does this when Katsuki is trying to hide his vulnerability. I could make a whole separate post just about these hair-covering-eyes faces lol. but out of all of them this is my absolute favorite. I can hear Okamoto’s voice acting in my head just looking at it.

why I like it: because it is THE PANEL. he finally broke completely; he let the walls fall away; he couldn’t hide it any longer. he’s so unbelievably torn up about this; he hates himself for it and feels like a failure; he’s lost and doesn’t have the faintest idea how to find his path again. he ended the Symbol of Peace. he was weak and wrong, and Deku was strong and right, and he can’t even hate Deku for it anymore, he just wants to understand what it is that he keeps doing wrong, why it is that he keeps failing.

why I like it: it’s, uuuuuh, angst.

lol it’s funny because at the beginning of the series, it was always Deku who was always crying at the drop of a hat. and to be fair this is still true. but Katsuki also cries way more than I would ever expect a rival character in a shounen manga to cry. and specifically he has cried every single time he’s had a dramatic and overly emotional altercation like this with Deku (and that’s three separate times now). is it because he’s always felt like he has less to hide around Deku? or because his Deku Emotions are so much more intense and volatile than his other emotions? at any rate, whatever it is, if this happens one more time (and I guarantee you it will too because A Certain Someone still hasn’t officially made an apology yet) he will officially lose all authority to ever call Deku out for being a crybaby again. meanwhile poor All Might will just be beside himself. I’m sorry dude, both of your children are just like this, you just gotta deal with it and accept their feelings.

why I like it: HE FINALLY GOT HIS HUG, BLESS.

and more hair covering his eyes! and chewing of the lip! and his head is bowed so much here, he fully allowed himself to be pulled into this hug and to accept this gesture of comfort for once in his life, just for a moment! after everything he was feeling, everything he was beating himself up over, All Might comes and tells him it’s not your fault. and there’s still so much guilt there, but he needs to hear this so badly that he accepts it all the same. meanwhile he is also CRYING AGAIN!? because this was the chapter where Horikoshi said “I am going to put all of the angst and cathartic conflict resolution into a single fight and it’s going to be the best thing ever” and it really was. do you even understand how much I love this. do you??

why I like it: OH GOSH I FORGOT ABOUT THIS, THIS IS MY OTHER FAVORITE KATSUKI HAIR-COVERING-EYES PANEL.

oh no. he’s ruffling his own spiky fluffy hair. he’s tired and he’s beat up (and whose fault is that lmao) and he’s learning all kinds of new things about himself today. he’s got basically nothing left in the tank, but for the first time in ages he has his path laid out in front of him again and he knows the way to start moving forward. he has been absolved of his guilt, the guilt which was eating a hole away inside of him. and all of a sudden he realizes -- it occurs to him -- hey, All Might finally admitted it, he really did give his power to Deku. but it’s still a secret though, isn’t it? it’s important, isn’t it? and so he tells them, hey, look, I get it, I won’t say anything, you don’t have to worry. it’s partially gratitude -- he owes so much to All Might and it’s ridiculous, that’s a fucking debt right there, and this is the least and only thing he can offer right now in return -- and it’s partially just... the right thing to do. like, common sense. honorable and shit. and it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. but just, let them know.

I love his side profile so much and I love his hair and his ear and the scuffs on his face and his beaten up hand and his hunched up shoulders and him being soft and trying not to show how soft he’s being and he is precious.

BONUS:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY HANDS IN POCKETS GRUMPY TRIANGLE EYES ROVING FERAL HOG SON, I LOVE YOU.

[tawakkull]

ISLAM 101: Spirituality in Islam: Part 84

Fana Fi’llah (Annihilation in God)

Fanâ fi’llah (annihilation in God) has connections with some of the other concepts that we have discussed. For example, sincere repentance requires annihilating one’s resistance to acknowledging sin, asceticism requires annihilating carnal pleasures, the highest point of loyalty and love is the annihilation of the expectation for a pleasing life in both this and the other world, and absence (ghayba) as a result of intoxication is apparent annihilation. Each of these is an attitude, a feeling and state of pleasure for a traveler on the way to God, while being at the same time, with respect to the Divine Being, Attributes and Names, manifestations of the lights of the Divine Oneness in the sphere of contingent things and beings. Initiates live in tides of existence and non-existence. This life is known as devastation. Their melting away before the Existence of the Truth is known as destruction, and their feeling that their deeds are mere shadows of the acts of the One Who does whatever He wills is known as effacement. Devastation, destruction, and effacement are dimensions of annihilation. They remind one of the fact that everything other than He is a shadow of the True Existence and Knowledge, having no essential value inherent to itself. These states also function as a bridge between the relativity of truth and human perception, feeling and understanding.

The absolute truth never changes; it is always what it essentially is. Neither the assumptions of union or incarnation on the part of the Divine Being nor human absolute annihilation in God bear anything of the truth. Things and events are created by God. Human beings are His created servants, and He possesses absolute Existence and Knowledge. Every existent thing is a ray of the manifestation of His Existence and Knowledge, and humanity feels, witnesses, and interprets these manifestations. But humans can make mistakes, which should be corrected. Humankind are like the conductors of choirs singing the praises of the Creator. They interpret what constantly pours into their horizon or is presented to their view, reviewing it, and adding new melodies taken from the depth of their emotions and sensations. These melodies are sometimes in accord with the truth being played, but sometimes it happens that the state, pleasures, perceptions, and feelings are in discord with existence in their mirrors of perception and consciousness, resulting in a confusion of views of the Divine Oneness and multiplicity in contingent existence. Utterances such as “I am the Truth” (attributed to Hallaj al-Mansur), or “I am a denier if I pray, and an unbeliever if I do not” (attributed to Shibli), and “The Lord is the servant, and the servant is the Lord, so I wish I knew who is responsible for God’s commandments” (attributed to Muhy al-Din ibn al-‘Arabi), and “Who is the criminal, and what is the chastisement?” (attributed to Yunus Emre[1]), are examples of this confusion.

God knows the true intention and purpose behind such utterances. However, as far as I understand, while preparing for prayer, Shibli was surrounded by multiplicity. When the lights of the Divine Oneness surrounded him during prayer, he, as an obedient one who is seeking God but has been lost in the One, sought and obeyed, he might have voiced his feelings of wonder and astonishment with the phrase mentioned above. The utterance of Ibn al-‘Arabi, which is apparently incompatible with Shari’a, must have been an expression of the pleasure of a similar state. Some common people, who are closed to such states of spiritual pleasure and who take such utterances as literal truth, without considering the state in which they are uttered, might suppose that people, after they have reached a certain level of spiritual awareness, are no longer answerable according to the Divine commandments. This view is nothing but a deviation from the true path. It is also wrong that certain people have accused of heresy and unbelief the great saints who made such utterances, which are the product of being lost in a state of spiritual bliss and which accordingly need to be interpreted.

If such words are the expressions of a mood of self-devastation and destruction that is beyond love and is identified with the pleasures of annihilation in God–and I believe that to be the case–the persons mentioned above who uttered such phrases should not be held to account for such words; these words must be interpreted. Those heroes of intense love should be perceived as representing and practicing the religion. It was reported that Hallaj al-Mansur used to perform a hundred rak’as of prayer every night, and that the others were also deeply devoted to the Almighty. Their words, which are apparently incompatible with the rules of the Shari’a, should be interpreted according to the basic principles of the Qur’an and the Sunna, and if they have uttered anything that cannot be reconciled with those principles, then a Muslim must, obviously, follow the guiding words of the Messenger, upon him be peace and blessings. However, these great persons are excusable because of the states that they were in when uttering such words; others who willfully imitate them, without sharing the same mood and spiritual state, will be held accountable. The author of the Lujja says:

If you are not together with the good ones in all your deeds, What use will it be to you that you bear the same name as them. One of the two Messiahs restores the eyes of the blind While the other is one-eyed.[2]

Doing as the Prophets did in one’s manners and acts is the way of saints, while blind imitation and following those who lead the way to the precipice is bound to end in spiritual death.

Jalal al-Din al-Rumi expresses the same thought in these words:

Do not compare pure, virtuous characters to yourself; Though the words milk and lion are composed of the same letters (shir), They are not at all the same. If a perfected one holds dust in his hand, it turns to gold; While if another, defective one holds gold in his hand, it becomes ashes.

Self-annihilation in God has been dealt with in the following categories by the Sufi scholars:

Annihilation in God’s acts: Travelers to the Truth who have reached this horizon feel in every act that there is no true agent other than God. On the face of all their moments or conditions of poverty, weakness, helplessness, and need, they discern the traces of His Power and Wealth. They hear constantly the voice of the points of reliance and seeking help ingrained in the depth of their consciousness. Annihilation in God’s Attributes: Initiates who have reached this point feel that all lives, all knowledge and power, all speech, will, hearing and sight are rays of His Attributes of Glory and reflections of His Light. Seeing themselves without any innate power or strength, they are greatly astonished by the lights of the All-Holy One called by the All-Beautiful Names, and experience extreme wonder at feeling the All-Sacred One having All-Sacred Attributes, and always aspire to meet with Him beyond all concepts of modality. Annihilation in the Divine Being: A person of truth who has reached the point of attaining a new existence in which all the directions are united into one direction falls into such a state that he or she cannot help but utter, “There is no really existent one save God.” Those who have attained this state see all space and time as having existence in His Knowledge and proceeding from His Knowledge and perceive all existing things as manifestations of the lights of His Existence. Enraptured with the spiritual pleasures, they utter with every breath that everything is from Him, and regard annihilation in the light of His Existence as the price of being favored with existence. Thus, as declared in the verse (37:96), “God has created you and all that you do,” travelers to the Truth receive the first signal of annihilation with respect to the realm of acts. Saying, “Everything is from You, and You are the True Agent,” they advance toward self-possession. Then, as pronounced in the Divine declaration (8:17), “When you threw, it was not you who threw but God who threw,” they perceive their nothingness, melt away in the shadow of His Attributes and become mirrors reflecting the Attributes. Some even rise to the point where people and jinn begin to turn around them. If they are able to go further, they will go on as far as the realms beyond, as stated in, “There was God without there being anything that existed with Him. Now He is as He was before.”[3] They feel themselves to be in an indescribable and all but unattainable state of pleasure, wherein their existence is transient and where they have wholly annihilated themselves on the way to permanence. Such a feeling is akin to that where a drop admits what its origin, capacity and end really is with respect to the ocean. It also denotes that everything subsists by His being the Self-Subsistent and the All-Maintaining and that nothing can come into existence or maintain its existence without being dependent on Him. So, transience and decay are essential to human nature; this is a fact of which everybody should be aware. Permanence is necessary to the Self-Subsisting One. When the journey comes to the end where the servants perceive this essential part of their nature and existence, the All-Holy Sovereign and Owner rewards them with permanence. In the language of Sufism, this favor is called annihilation in God and subsistence by God’s Self-Subsistence.

The heroes that follow the way of the people of the Sunna wa’l-Jama’a and who are able to base all their views, words and manners on God’s absolute Oneness, have always viewed annihilation in the endless ocean of Divine Knowledge and Existence according to the above considerations. They have meticulously observed the rules that issue from the Sphere of Divine Lordship, and the manners required by self-possession and wakefulness, even in states of intoxication and absence. Any extreme words or manners contrary to self-possession are not seen in their words and acts, even if the influence of the state and the signs of joy are witnessed. One of them says:

The moving tunes that come from the wooden instrument and Which the singer plays come in fact from Him.

This means that such heroes of both annihilation and self-possession see that all things other than He are but drops from the endless ocean of the Divine Existence and, despite their self-possession, they cannot distinguish a drop from the ocean nor a particle from the sun nor the mirror from what is reflected therein because they are deeply immersed in God’s Existence. As was once said,

O beloved, you have become a river ending in this ocean; How difficult it is to distinguish between the ocean and the river!

They become lost in the ocean or in the heaven of the Divine Oneness or Unity into which they have abandoned themselves. Overpowered by the irresistible waves of the ocean and the depths of the heaven, they can neither see the shore nor find in themselves the power nor consciousness to come ashore.

Another one among those intoxicated ones, those who reached the horizon of annihilation in God and was favored with the gift of a new existence by the Lord, saw all existence like a mirror in which he was looking upon himself and in which he was intoxicated, said:

Sometimes He has condescended to appear arrayed like Layla, And sometimes He has honored us in the form of Majnun. When the Beloved One has stepped out of the privacy of the meeting room, The decoration and ornament of the interior has become most apparent.

The heroes of immersion who have reached this highest point express their sensation of Divine Oneness, joy and pleasure, they express the favor of God’s company, and the excitement of feeling Him by sometimes crying or screaming, sometimes by losing themselves and fainting, and sometimes by going into ecstasies and dancing. All of these happen during the spiritual journey on the hills of the heart. One of those who dove deeply into this ocean expressed himself in the flood of the ecstasies of his heart as follows:

I am such a falcon of love that I have no place in either world. I am such a phoenix of secrets that I no longer display any trace of my essence. I hunted the two worlds in a pleasant way With my eyebrows. Look and know that I have neither an arrow nor a bow. I have become a voice to speak And an ear to listen. But how strange it is, For I have no ears nor a tongue.

The leading Sufi scholars have also dealt with annihilation in the following four categories:

Annihilation in renunciation of people: an initiate is saved from fear of people and from having expectations of them. Annihilation with respect to the desires: this is the renunciation of selfishness and all worldly desires, aspirations, and bodily appetites. Annihilation of will-power: total submission to God’s Will. Annihilation of reason: this is reason’s submission to God in the face of the manifestations of the Attributes. This annihilation comes along with the astonishment and amazement which initiates feel even though they are unable to observe the criteria of thinking, judging, and acting that are valid in the sphere of causality. They usually cannot help but voice this astonishment and amazement. For example, Junayd al-Baghdadi says: “For a certain time, the inhabitants of the earth and heaven wept for my amazement, and sometimes it occurred that I wept for their amazement. Now I am in such a state that I am aware of neither myself nor of them.” The amazement of Gedai is also worth noting: I did not know myself as I see me now, I wonder whether He is me or I am Him? This is the point where lovers lose themselves; I have burnt away, so give me water!

The words of the author of al-Minhaj demonstrate a deeper aura of love and amazement:

I do not know whether I am myself or Him. I am in bewilderment, but I am sure I am not myself. I am a lover or the one loved or love itself. I am intoxicated from the cup of Oneness, and I am not myself. What am I? Am I a phoenix with no fame or mark? I am away from my home, and I am not myself. I am transient in soul but permanent by the Beloved. I am flying high, and I am not myself.

If we consider what annihilation is, these words are natural for a hero of annihilation. Annihilation means that they see, according to their level, none save God and set their hearts on Him alone. When they advance to the point where their inner and outer worlds, perception, and consciousness are illuminated with the knowledge of truth, then they begin to see clearly Who holds the reins of everything, and they always turn to Him in Whose Hand lie their existence and subsistence. Then, while they become more deeply immersed in truth by concentrating all of their thoughts on Him and endeavoring to reach Him, then they perceive that all existence is a manifestation of the light of His Existence. They reach the horizon of viewing all things and events differently with the consideration of Divine Oneness, and they are favored with being able to feel and interpret everything with the essential characteristics that the veil of corporeality hides. This can be regarded as the first step on the way of annihilation to the Truth.

Travelers on the way to the Truth take a further step and are able to perceive with the certainty of conviction that all the events in the universe, including human acts and endeavors, depend absolutely on God’s Names and Attributes, and that everything has come into existence and has blossomed in the heart of these Sources. They also perceive that whatever happens happens by His Power and Strength and see more clearly the limits of their will-power in all of their deeds. Abandoning all shadowy existence, they take shelter in the protection and ownership of the True Existent One, and gain a new existence by Him.

If the traveler can take a further step, then he or she can feel with some certainty, a certainty that comes from experience, that all things and/or beings with their being, attributes and characteristics are transferred from their existence in God’s Knowledge and clothed in external existence by His Power as a manifestation of His Existence. Becoming more profound in their feelings, the travelers are immersed in the vision of the truth that everything exists and subsists by Him. They perceive in their consciousness that the truth of (55:26), “All that (exists) is transient by nature (except He),” undulates throughout the universe like a flag, and everything created is bound to decay, and is maintained by the manifestation of God’s being the Self-Subsistent and All-Subsisting One. They also feel in their consciousness that if a being suffers a moment’s interruption of this manifestation, it will perish, and they reach a further horizon of perception of the Divine Oneness.

The first step belongs to the verifying scholars, the second to those traveling on the way to the Truth who have strong, inflexible will-power, and the third to those who have true knowledge of God and vision.

Those who are at the first step are annihilated to the extent of the depth of their consciousness of God and enter the way to “a revival after death.” Those who have left this step behind experience absence and immersion with respect to their inner world by means of a spiritual vision and discovery; they find seclusion in crowds and silence in noise and uproar. Others, who have reached the third step, renounce all human desires and aspirations, and wherever they look are immersed in the manifestations of the Divine Knowledge and Existence; they feel fully surrounded by His signs, as stated in (2:115), To whatever direction you turn, there is the “Face” of God. Whatever they see, they feel awe when enveloped by His rays, and whatever they observe they feel astonished at the burning manifestations of His Face and they mention Him with many allegories.

When travelers to the Truth have gone beyond all these steps and have become heroes of annihilation in God, the colors of subsistence with God begin to appear to them from all horizons. They also go beyond one dimension of “there is no deity.” This new dimension confronts them every moment during their journey and they reach a new dimension of “but God.” Due to their taking larger steps and due to the uninterrupted shower of Divine favors, the universal Lordship and complete Subsistence begin to manifest themselves on their horizon. A time comes and they feel that His Throne has embraced the whole universe, and rising by the stairs of repentance, penitence and contrition, which comprise the way of turning to Him completely, they are immersed in the lights of His Divinity. They drown in the extraordinary pleasures of feeling awe and fear of Him in their acts of worship. They take a great pleasure in listening to the Divine Speech–the Qur’an. Finding themselves sometimes in the clime of self-possession that is embedded in fear, and sometimes on the hills of alertness that are embedded in awe, and sometimes in the oceans of mercy, they experience fear and expectation, sadness and rejoicing, all together at the same time, and try not to fall away from His door. Unburdening themselves to Him in every thought, concept, utterance and breath, they become heroes of following the Divine commandment (15:99), Worship your Lord until certainty comes to you (by death), and without being content with their worshipping, they advance further and further. They know that when they stop, both the way and the journey will come to an end, and they can no longer have the ambition of reaching their destination. For the journey is toward the Infinite One. Unending endeavor in this world is reflected as endless favors from the realms beyond.

Guide us to the Straight Path, the path of those whom You have favored, not of those who have incurred (Your) punishment and condemnation, nor of those who have gone astray. And let God’s blessings be upon our master Muhammad, his family and all of his Companions. [1] Yunus Emre (1240-1320). One of the most famous Sufi folk poets who have made a great impact on the Muslim-Turkish culture. His philosophy, metaphysics and humanism have been examined in various symposiums and conferences on a regular basis both in Turkey and abroad. (Trans.) [2] The poet refers to Jesus the Messiah, and the Dajjal who, it is reported, will appear before the end of time as a fierce opponent of Islam. The fact that he has one eye is usually interpreted to mean that he is blind to religion and the Hereafter. (Trans.)

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Episode 5

Nothing. Just heart eyes. Mischievous heart eyes for Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian, this annoying little shit—he wants to tease Lan Wangji because he’s such a fuddy-duddy, but he’s also genuinely into him. And I don’t necessarily mean that in a romantic way, because I don’t think Wei Wuxian has any of those feelings for Lan Wangji at this point—but he is definitely fascinated by him. He’s so different from Wei Wuxian, almost his complete opposite on the surface, that I think Wei Wuxian can’t help but want to know more about him.

I like this part for a number of reasons (most of them are obvious, so I won’t really go into it—it’s a wangxian scene, amirite?), but this little exchange of dialogue tugs at my heartstrings a little because it’s the first time that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji actually talk to one another—like a real exchange, not just Wei Wuxian talking and Lan Wangji ignoring him, although, plenty of that happens as well. Lan Wangji lets his guard down a little here to say Wei Wuxian didn’t apologize sincerely. Like, I’m giving you a chance here—if you’re really sorry and want to repent for what you did, then I might give you another chance. I don’t think Lan Wangji wants to hold a grudge anymore, and I think that becomes pretty evident later, even after the whole porno incident.

And then Lan Wangji decides he’s tired of talking to Wei Wuxian, and uses the silence spell on him again. Hahaha, always makes me laugh. And Xiao Zhan is super adorable when he’s having his tantrum.

These two just make me so sad. My heart really aches for them, especially for Wen Qing, who really is doing everything to help her brother right now. One thing I love about this series/book is that it shows so many types of devotion: romantic love, platonic love, love for sisters and brothers, grandchildren, cousins, mothers, fathers—while the subject matter is often heavy and downright depressing, there are really some beautiful love stories to be told, and it sounds cheesy, but it makes my heart really full.

I like the nuance here of Wen Ning serving her, almost as if he’s a servant—he bows his head, pours her tea, puts it into her hands—and then she touches his face, as if reminding him that she’s just his big sister. I don’t know, I’m probably reading too much into that, and there’s obviously a dynamic that I don’t know or understand, not being a part of that culture. I just noticed it and thought there might be something there.

I see you looking at Wei Ying. But seriously! Lan Wangji could just ignore the guy and wait until he’s done. Instead, he’s peeking at him, fully aware that Wei Wuxian is still working on transcribing texts. Wei Wuxian’s fascination with Lan Wangji is only rivaled by Lan Wangji’s fascination with Wei Wuxian. The scene at the lecture that causes Wei Wuxian to be kicked out feels like a major turning point in the relationship. Yes, I think Lan Wangji was keeping an eye on Wei Wuxian prior to that point, but it was more of, “I’m keeping an eye on you because I feel like you’re just trying to make trouble.” Now, I think he fully realizes that Wei Wuxian is no dummy—he’s a clever young man—and it can’t be lost on Lan Wangji that Wei Wuxian is always seeking his attention. That’s got to be a little flattering, even for a fuddy-duddy.

I think there are a few things going on here after Wei Wuxian gives him the drawing: 1. Lan Wangji is embarrassed! Why is Wei Wuxian drawing a picture of him and adding a flower in his hair?! No one has ever done something like that for him and, of all people, why Wei Wuxian? 2. I think he feels slightly touched to be given a gift, especially from Wei Wuxian, who is such a prankster. 3. He doesn’t hate it! He places it carefully on the desk in front of him, as if it’s something nice that he doesn’t want to wreck. We know Lan Wangji has no issues destroying things he doesn’t like, as he demonstrates when he rips up the porno mag. He easily could have crumpled up the drawing and tossed it away, but instead he keeps it, which suggests that he DOES like it and IS touched by the gift.

Hey, remember that time that Lan Wangji got so angry with Wei Ying that he actually broke a rule? I do! It’s one of my favorite lines: “Piss off.” (note: that text is not actually him saying piss off, the screenshot is from earlier)

Wei Wuxian is such a little shit! And as he later says to Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang, he pulls this little prank to get Lan Wangji back for making him transcribe all the texts and using the silencing spell on him. Even though he’s supposedly apologized and repented for breaking the rules, Wei Wuxian still feels like he needs to retaliate against Lan Wangji. Like, I love the guy, but he’s such a shit! Wangxian would have been wangxian so much sooner had he not been like this for so long! Yes, Lan Wangji is a stick in the mud, but Wei Wuxian causes trouble on purpose. I love all these scenes, but it does get a little frustrating that Wei Wuxian just doesn’t get it, y’know?

I like here how Wei Wuxian seemingly doesn’t understand why Lan Wangji is mad, and then looks all offended. And I included angry Lan Wangji just because.

Jiang Cheng is me: You literally offended everyone in that room, and then you played a trick on Lan Wangji, which made him so angry that he told you to piss off. I’D tell you to piss off too! I seriously can’t blame Jiang Cheng for all his eye rolls and exasperated looks at this point in the story. Wei Wuxian lives to make trouble, it seems, and Jiang Cheng just wants to learn and make a good impression for the Jiang Clan. If you can’t tell, I really like Jiang Cheng.

Lan Xichen asks if his brother has found out who got into the Back Hill, and Lan Wangji pauses, lets out a sigh, and says, “Wei Ying.” I don’t fully know what all that means, but my interpretation is that he’s disappointed. As if he expected more of him, was trying to find a way it wasn’t him, but then finally admits that it was indeed Wei Wuxian. Of course, Wei Wuxian actually tried to tell Lan Wangji who it really was sneaking around the Back Hill, but Lan Wangji didn’t want to listen. At least, in this case, they know Wei Wuxian is relatively harmless, and maybe Lan Wangji’s admission is more that he feels a bit like he failed to find out who the true threat is.

I should count how many times they say “Lady Wen” in this scene. It’s already up to three and it’s only five seconds in. But seriously, Jiang Cheng, could you stop drooling?

The final count was five times. Slightly less than I thought, but the first four times did actually occur before the two boys even stepped inside.

This scene also has a cute moment with Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian (“You were sick because you were missing me!”)—cute to the point where Jiang Cheng must have rolled his eyes. Although, I think it’s this moment that Wen Qing witnesses that makes her think twice about Wei Wuxian. In her mind, she compares him to her own little brother, so her heart softens a little.

Lan Xichen: I looked at you, and you seemed to want them to go. Don’t you want that?

Lan Wangji: HEART EYES

Okay, but he looks very soft here, doesn’t he? By all accounts, I don’t know why Lan Wangji would want to go ANYWHERE with Wei Wuxian right now, but he feels drawn to him, despite being bothered by him, despite being pranked by him. He really doesn’t know what’s in his own heart. Thank goodness Lan Xichen is there.

With how long Wei Wuxian was waving around that liquor, I’m surprised Lan Wangji didn’t dump it out sooner. His tolerance for Wei Wuxian is getting better! He’s not using the silence spell on him anymore, he answers some of his questions (or uses silence to answer in some cases). Progress! Progress is happening here!

I also like that even when Wei Wuxian is with Jiang Cheng, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning, he still seeks out Lan Wangji for conversation and company.

Lan Wangji is angry at Wei Wuxian, because he’s angry at himself, and he’s angry at himself because he’s frustrated by his own feelings: he wants to hate Wei Wuxian—he’d feel better if he hated him, but the fact is, he keeps finding more reasons to like him. And his response to those frustrations is to try and push Wei Wuxian away.

“Stay away from me.”

If you’re just casually watching this series, you see Lan Wangji just being angry and annoyed by Wei Wuxian for quite some time, until probably they go to the Wen Indoctrination camp. But the changes in his attitudes toward Wei Wuxian in particular are more subtle than that. I think Lan Wangji is trying to warm up in his own way, but he just becomes frustrated by his own feelings. Maybe he likes Wei Wuxian, but doesn’t understand why, or maybe it’s just that he doesn’t want to hate him. At this point, Lan Xichen has already told him a few times that he needs to make friends, and how about Wei Wuxian? He’s also noted that he could tell that Lan Wangji wanted “the boys” to go along with them. It would be frustrating to have someone, even someone you greatly respect, to tell you how you’re really feeling, especially when you’re as stubborn as Lan Wangji.

And Lan Xichen actually smirks after this, hahahaha!

She’s touching my leg, she’s touching my leg!!! You can’t tell me he didn’t think about this in bed every night for at least a week. I’m sure it’s extremely obvious already to Wen Qing that he’s crushing hard on her, and that must make her a little uncomfortable. I don’t think the feelings are reciprocated in the slightest.

Okay, but imagine if they’d let Su She go on his own like he wanted. He’d probably have died, or certainly run away. His spiritual power seems very weak, as he can’t call his sword back once he sends it into the water. Luckily Lan Wangji is there to save him.

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