#and even more so when that world is the real one

[creamflix]

gojo satoru x female reader; established relationship, you're married. mentions of alchohol, getting drunk, gojo is drunk. fluff and crack. featuring suguru geto. inspired by this dream i had. — masterlist here ☆

you opened the door to find suguru holding up your completely sloshed husband, gojo satoru, by the shoulders. gojo's bright blue eyes were glassy, his face flushed, and a huge grin spread across his face when he saw you. he nearly toppled forward, but suguru steadied him just in time.

"look who’s back," suguru sighed, rolling his eyes playfully. "he kept talking about needing his 'wifi.' you were the only person i could think of."

gojo lit up even more at the sight of you, slurring, "my wifi! babe, my wifi’s here!"

"your wife, satoru," you laughed, stepping forward and grabbing his hands. "but yes, your wifi’s here."

he threw himself into your arms, clinging to you like you were the last thing tethering him to the earth. "mm, see? knew my wifi would always come back for me," he muttered into your hair. "you’re… so fast, like 5G, even."

"wow, i didn��t know you married a router," suguru snorted, gently helping him settle against you.

you laughed, rubbing soothing circles on gojo’s back. “and here i thought i was just his wife.”

gojo’s eyes suddenly went wide with shock, and he leaned back, looking you dead in the eyes with absolute sincerity. 

"you’re more than wifi. you’re... you're the whole internet." he grabbed your face, squishing your cheeks together. "like, fiber optic. unlimited data."

"okay, okay, i get it," you chuckled, kissing his forehead. “unlimited data and all.”

gojo grinned, totally triumphant, and turned back to suguru with an exaggerated, wobbly point. "see, suguru? i told you she’s the real deal."

"yeah, i got it loud and clear, buddy," suguru said, looking at you with a smirk. “he's all yours.”

“thank you for escorting my data-deprived husband home,” you said, shaking your head with a smile.

“no problem. he spent the entire cab ride showing the driver pictures of you, actually,” suguru replied, amused.

gojo’s face brightened even more, as if he’d just been handed the greatest compliment in the world. “she’s… my favorite picture. no, wait.” he blinked, trying to gather his thoughts, swaying a little. “she’s my wallpaper. like... my home screen.”

you couldn’t help but laugh as suguru tried (and failed) to hold back his own amusement. “you’re a lucky home screen, then. good luck with him.”

after suguru left, you guided gojo to the couch, where he immediately flopped down, reaching for you like a kid needing a hug. you obliged, settling beside him, and he buried his face into your shoulder.

“satoru,” you murmured, gently running your fingers through his hair, “you’re so dramatic when you’re drunk, you know that?”

"it's not drama if it's real,” he said, pulling back just enough to look at you with the most sincere gaze you’d ever seen, despite the fact he could barely keep his eyes open. “like, i knew i wanted wifi in my life, but i had no idea it’d be this strong.”

“oh?” you smirked, leaning in closer. “and what does that mean?”

“it means you’re, like, the only signal i wanna connect to,” he muttered, sighing and nuzzling his head into your neck. 

“like… one bar, two bar, three bars — full signal, only with you.”

you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at his adorably drunk logic. “you’re too much, you know that?”

he just hummed, eyes closing as he settled against you. “but, babe? promise we’ll never lose connection?”

you held him a little tighter, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. “never. as long as you don’t go dropping signals in my house.”

he grinned, letting out a soft, happy sigh. "perfect. ‘cause i’m… gonna marry you, wifi lady."

you held back a snort. “well, lucky for you, you already did."

he looked up, astonished. “i did?! really?!”

“yes, satoru, you already did.”

he flopped back, looking so utterly content that you could practically feel his happiness radiating off him. "best connection ever,” he whispered, clutching your hand in his like he never wanted to let go.

produced by creamflix on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, modify, repost — support your writers by liking and reblogging. ♡ banners by cafekitsune

[jellybeanium124]

if you'll allow me to flaunt my psych minor for a second, I'd like to talk about epigenetics. there's studies that show that if you shock a rat when you let them taste a certain flavor, they will immediately become averse to that flavor. not surprising. what is surprising is that the rat's grandchildren, who have never been shocked when given that flavor, will also be averse to it and afraid of it and avoid it. there's also correlational evidence to suggest that the descendants of people who suffered through famine are more likely to put on weight and keep it on easier, even if they have never been through a famine themself.

trauma gets passed down. the kinds of trauma your parents, grandparents, and so-on lived through is still living in you. even if your parents were the most well-off, loving, best parents in the world, their trauma is still in you.

now if you'll allow me to take a slight turn here: there's a wild rabbit inside every jew.

my dad grew up being called "jew-boy." my mother had a coworker throw pennies at her at her job in the 2010s. and that's just two examples. they both grew up being harassed for being jewish. I wasn't. I'm incredibly lucky. the amount of antisemitism I've experienced in real life has been incredibly minimal. I didn't even hear anyone make an antisemitic joke in front of me until college.

and none of us were seriously persecuted. none of my grandparents were seriously persecuted. but even though nobody's broken my windows, nobody's beaten me in the streets, and I haven't been at any of those horrible protests in person, the fear is there. this deep seated, blood-pumping fear of the ancient jewish rabbit in me telling me to run. to run for dear life, to run as far as my legs can get me, as long as my heart keeps pumping and my lungs keep breathing.

we all feel this.

everyone feels this.

I called my mother yesterday. when I brought up this feeling she paused, and the silence said everything. she told me I wasn't alone. she feels it. my dad feels it. my brother feels it. my nana and grampa feel it. every jew you know, online, in real life, hell, even the famous ones, they feel it. the rabbit is inside us all, and the rabbit knows, because its brothers who didn't flee in the past were slaughtered.

the rabbit is leaping around my chest, all of our chests, chanting run run run run run run run.

I don't know if I can explain it to gentiles. I don't know if this makes sense to you. I don't know how to get across how crystal clear and deep and primal this fear is, and how much all of us are feeling the exact same fear, despite our different lives and different histories and the fact we're different people.

part of me wishes it didn't matter. that I didn't feel like I needed to get goyim to understand my specific cultural and ethnic experiences. because I don't feel like I need to deeply understand everyone else's. I am a white passing ashkenazi american jew, and I will never fully understand what it is like to be anything else. that doesn't dissolve my responsibility to educate myself and practice empathy, but it's ok. idk, maybe other people do desperately wish they could get people not in their specific group to deeply understand what it's like to be them. I imagine that feeling is universal. I guess, it's just like, the left is unified that everyone is a person, everyone is equal, everyone is human, except the jews. nobody is left out but the jews. everyone's word is believed, but the jews. and it makes me feel like I have to beg and plead with people to understand what being jewish means, because we're not included with everyone else. we're the enemy. and I want people to see we're not the enemy.

epigenetics.

[kateschi]

same book, different chapters

synopsis: an ordinary evening takes a turn when katsuki expresses what you've always known but never expected to hear.

pairing: timeskip!bakugou katsuki x f!reader

being with katsuki is a lesson in unspoken understanding. you knew who he is long before you started dating him—loud, brash, and not the type to share his feelings openly.

but it didn’t take long to realize there’s so much more to him than that. his love is quiet, reserved, and shown in the details:

how he pulls you out of the way of a passing car, or how he remembers the smallest things, like your favorite kind of tea or that you prefer your coffee without sugar.

and that is enough for you. mostly.

you didn’t expect him to be the kind of boyfriend who says "I love you" with ease. katsuki isn’t like that. it isn’t something you hold against him either.

but every now and then, a small part of you wonders what it would be like to hear him say it—to hear those three words slip past his lips in the same way they had from yours.

you say it first, a quiet “I love you” in the middle of a peaceful night when the world outside feels still.

his response comes in the shape of hugging you tighter, securing you in his arms. however, he doesn’t say it back, and you don’t expect him to. you don’t need him to.

still, there are times when you find yourself holding your breath, wondering if one day he’ll actually verbalize it.

it isn’t that you doubt his feelings. katsuki isn’t one to waste time on things or people he doesn’t care about.

you know how much he cares by the way he silently takes care of you, always putting you first in his own way, even when his words are rough around the edges.

it’s just that sometimes, words have a way of making things feel more real.

tonight is one of those easy evenings you cherish—one where you don’t have to think too much about anything. the two of you are in your kitchen, making dinner together, though “together” is generous.

you’re doing most of the work while katsuki stands next to you, arms crossed, casting a critical eye over everything you do.

“you’re putting too much salt,” he says, the frown on his face making you smile.

“pretty sure this is the exact amount the recipe says to use,” you reply, amused at how serious he always gets when it comes to food.

“tch, that recipe’s wrong. I could’ve made this better with my eyes closed.”

“then why don’t you?” you tease, turning your head to glance at him. his gaze is sharp as usual, but the small curve in the corner of his lips betrays him.

“maybe I’ll cook next time,” he grumbles, looking away like the very idea of giving in bothers him.

you laugh softly, enjoying the banter. this is something you love about him—how even in these simple moments, his presence fills the space with a sense of ease.

there’s no pressure to be anything other than yourselves, even when his blunt honesty clashes with your more relaxed approach.

as you stir the pot, you can’t help but let your thoughts wander back to the three words. you know katsuki isn’t the type to say things until he’s ready, and you respect that.

but part of you is curious—would it ever come naturally to him, or would it always be something unspoken between the two of you?

still, as you stand there, the warmth of his steady presence beside you, you realize that maybe you’re okay with it remaining unspoken. katsuki shows his love in ways that don’t need words to validate them.

and then, without warning, you feel his arms wrap around your waist from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder. you freeze for a moment, caught off-guard.

“katsuki?” you ask, your voice soft, as you lean into him instinctively.

he doesn’t answer right away, just holds you there. his touch isn’t hesitant, but it is different from the usual casual touches you’ve grown used to.

“you’re annoying sometimes,” he mutters, voice low in your ear.

you chuckle, relaxing further into his hold. “I know.”

there’s silence for a beat, and then: “but I love you anyway, idiot.”

you blink, unsure if you’ve heard him correctly. you turn your head slightly, trying to see his face, but he buries it against your neck, hiding his expression. “did you just—?”

“don’t make a big deal out of it,” he mumbles, voice suddenly gruff, though you can hear the embarrassment beneath the words.

a smile breaks across your face, warmth spreading through your chest. you didn’t expect it, but that makes it all the more special. he isn’t saying it because the moment demands it.

he isn’t saying it because you’re waiting. he says it because he wants to, because he feels it.

“I’m not,” you reply, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably as your happiness bubbles up in your voice. “but…I love you too.”

you feel his grip tighten around you and a kiss pressed to your shoulder.

kofi — navigation — masterlist

do not copy, translate, or plagarize

[pastryfication]

but that's just when you happened

pairing: oscar piastri x reader note: based on packing it up by gracie abrams and this request <33

the paddock roared with life as the cars zoomed past in incredibly high speed, but you weren’t focused on them. only one car really mattered in your eyes. his car.

never before had you loved someone so overwhelmingly much. never had you been so all consumingly infatuated. you wouldn’t consider yourself selfish—quite the opposite actually—but never had you wanted so many good things for another person. you wanted him to get everything he could ever ask for. everything from a cold pillow to a cool wind in his perfectly styled hair to something much bigger—something much more important. things like a win. a formula 1 win.

he wasn’t a loud person, quite the opposite actually, but when you laid together talking late at night, it was as if the words wouldn’t stop flowing from him. he told you about his deepest fears and wildest desires, and you listened closely, because he was so special. so so special.

you weren’t looking for love when you met him. you had actually sworn it off, but when you saw his dopey smile and warm eyes for the first time, all your rules went out the window.

every thought about packing up your heart for good—packing it away so it couldn’t be hurt another time—went out the window the second he entered your life.

no one made you blush like him, and it wasn’t even intentional most of the time. he just couldn’t help himself when everything about you was so damn beautiful. so beautiful and so perfect for him. it was as if you were build to be together, the way your hand fit in his like a puzzle piece. the way your head felt so perfectly placed tucked under his chin when you hugged.

with him, love wasn’t a game anymore. he ticked all your boxes, but you hadn’t even realised that before your friends pointed it out. the way you couldn’t find any icks, didn’t have anything you wanted to change, felt too good to be true. the first night you slept together where you woke up in his arms you almost panicked because the feeling was so new to you. new, but so so nice.

it was as if he was sent to earth specifically for you. and just at the right moment when you were about to pack it all up. he came into your life and changed it all. turned everything upside down.

his dry humour matched your dark one completely. no one could make you laugh like him. laugh until you felt like you were actually dying of happiness, like nothing mattered but the silly inside joke you shared.

he fit so perfectly in with your family dynamic. laughing with your father, sharing sweet stories with your mother, befriending your siblings as if it was the most natural thing in the world. watching the sunsets in the summer along with them, him standing close to you with his arm around your shoulder while your parents smiled adoringly at you. falling asleep together in your childhood bedroom, his hand drawing lazy shapes on you bare skin. repeating it all with his family afterwards.

he was your soulmate. you were 100 percent certain. you needed him him like you needed air to breathe. like you needed food and water. you wanted to listen to him talk forever and ever and even longer. with him by your side, you were sure you would die happily.

you held him after bad races and good races. through happy days and days were he felt like giving up. never did you let him ache alone.

you completed him and he completed you. you wanted everything good for him. everything he could ask for. but most of all, you hoped he would finally get the win he had so long longed for.

and at that moment, as you stood with his family in the mclaren garage, it finally seemed like a real possibility. your hands were squeezed tightly with oscar’s sisters. hattie holding so tightly on to you that your hand was about to lose feeling, but you didn’t pay any attention to it. you eyes were glued to the screen showing the race. showing your boyfriend in first position.

your heart was beating out of your chest, a lump was forming in your throat and your whole body was tensed up. this could be it. this could be the moment you had longed for for so long.

when his car crossed the finish line, you weren’t even thinking. no thoughts were clear in your head. nothing but oscar, oscar, oscar.

as soon as he was out of the car, he was running towards you. you had made your way to the barriers with the team and his mum, but he ignored them all as soon as he spotted you. his arms were around you in a tight hug and your head almost took a hit against his helmet with the speed in which he pulled you in.

but it didn’t matter. nothing mattered but him and the fact that he was a formula one winner. your winner.

a hundred cameras were probably pointed towards you, filming the first public display of affection he had ever shown, but it didn’t matter either. all you cool think was oscar, oscar, oscar.

it was weird how important he was to you. how intertwined the two of you were. you weren’t even looking for someone when you met him, yet here you were. you were so close to packing it up, but then he happened. he turned your whole world upside down, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. he was all that mattered. oscar, oscar, oscar.

[red5tars]

cw brief mentions of pregnancy

hook-up culture was one of the only ways you could get your fix without commitment. it’s hard to maintain any real relationships now, especially as a full time student (and slut). but you’d always been careful, having taken contraceptives, keeping condoms on you, etc etc.

though, none of them are 100% full proof.

you stare at the pregnancy test, wide-eyed. someone bangs on the bathroom door of the gas station, urging you to hurry up. but you can’t, the implications of those two little lines keeping you stuck to the seat.

when you ask your friends, they dismiss you, saying “you’re a smart girl, you’ll figure it out.” and when you call your parents..

you block out the interaction from your memory.

with no financial or emotional support, you are forced to scour the internet for a solution. an abortion is too expensive, and you can’t raise this thing when you’re about to enter your junior year of college.

all hope seems lost, till you find the shadiest ad on craigslist;

Looking for Baby to adopt. Surrogate or already pregnant. Will provide care for entire pregnancy.

it seems like a scam, even more so as you open it and skim through the benefits (a roof over your head, food and water, nearly $25k to start). everything about this seems too good to be true. after all, can you really trust something you saw on craigslist?

still, your eyes find a phone number and email address at the bottom of the ad, belonging to some guy named johnny mactavish. the foreign name throws you off even more, surely a name like that isn’t located in the united states of fuck all. though, it seems like you have no other solutions.

hesitantly, your mouse hovers over the ‘reply’ button, the clicking sound ringing in your ears, settling your fate.

——

johnny knew it was futile to post an ad looking for a surrogate on craigslist, but he didn’t see any other options (or rather, he ignores them). simon and him have been retired for some time now, settling in some small state. the woods offer some sort of privacy, a silence that comforts them rather than makes them shake in their sleep.

it seemed natural that having children would be the next step after living here for so long. johnny thanks tommy for finding a pretty bird and producing a nephew since it would’ve been harder to convince simon otherwise. the riley’s don’t seem like family men, yet simon is carving a little bear to send back to manchester, congratulating tommy on the announcement of his baby girl.

it makes johnny warm, but he can’t help but feel jealous. sure, simon is everything to him, his whole world, but it’s hard to procreate when all you got is a prick and shitter.

so he set up his little offer, though he might as well be suppressed with how nearly no one has reached out to him.

johnny’s about to take down the ad, ready to talk to simon about doing things a different way, when he suddenly gets a reply.

> this isn’t a joke, right?

johnny raises a brow at this, swiveling back to the computer and typing up his response.

< would nevr joke bout smth srs

and when five minutes passed, he presumed that would be the end of this little interaction, fueling johnny’s desire to take down the post.

that is, till he gets another response.

> well, is the position still open then?

he feels his heart stop, eyes widening as he reads the phrase over and over. a certain excitement wells in his chest, and he gets back on the keyboard before he can run out the room and tell simon the good news.

——

his last reply consists of a time, date, and address.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Twisted

pairing: lee felix x afab!reader

genre: fluff, smut, thriller

wc: 6.6k

synopsis: felix and you live a normal, happy life as a couple. until you start noticing little things that make no sense. felix calls you silly for thinking anything could ever be wrong in your perfect little world. is he being honest or harboring a bigger secret?

warnings: unprotected sex, creampie, oral(f), two plot twists!!, dark ending!

a/n: i can't really put all of the warnings here bcs i would spoil the plot twist but i hope you enjoy this one hehehe🤭🫶🏻

divider by: @cafekitsune

~masterlist

There is nothing more beautiful than waking up next to the person you love.

Traces of last night's loving and passionate activities linger in the air all around you as your limbs are entwined with his, not knowing where you begin and where he ends; almost like you've merged into one person.

You stir a little, the warmness of his naked body pressed against yours makes your heart dance inside your chest and your core throb with the everlasting craving you have for Felix.

Your eyes flutter open and you look at him, his hair a royal mess, the strands falling over his forehead and into his eyes, where his eyelashes kiss his freckled skin, his plump lips slightly parted as he cutely drools on the pillow.

You chuckle a little and that stirs him up, he smacks his lips together as you lay on your tummy, facing him, his leg thrown over you.

Felix cracks one eye open and smiles instantly, his fingertips dancing on your back, all along your spine.

"Morning, sweets." his voice is even deeper when he wakes up, but still dripping with honey.

"Morning, love." you whisper and his smile widens, making him look even cuter to you so you lean in and press your lips to his forehead.

Your hand caresses his hair out of the way as your lips repeatedly collide with his skin, kissing his eyebrows, eyelids, nose, all of his starry freckles.

Felix giggles at the onslaught of love, giddy as his arm curls around your waist, bringing you even closer to him.

You enjoy the quiet moment before you have to get up and start your day, face the real world.

As your hands gently caress each other's skin, both of you become hungry for more, hungry to become one like you did last night, more than once.

Felix's breaths are shaky as he ruts his middle against your thigh, his hot leaky cock dragging against your plushy flesh.

You moan quietly as your hand explores his soft skin and Felix maneuvers you so your back is facing him.

"Wanna hold you." he murmurs into your hair, adjusting your leg before he sinks his cock into you easily, your cunt always ready to take him in.

Felix buries himself inside your warmth, holding you tightly as his lips attach to your neck and whisper words of love in your ear.

You melt into his embrace, letting him rock against you, his cock sliding in and out of your wetness in a steady rhythm, his arm wrapped around you as his fingers press on your clit.

Euphoria soon takes you both over as you spill into each other, all wet and warm, full of love.

"I love you, sweetheart." he kisses your shoulder and arm gently.

"I love you too." you turn to smile at him.

Yes, nothing is more beautiful than this moment right here.

-

"Lixie! Are you done getting ready?" you yell out from the hallway.

"Yes! I'm coming, babe." he yells back from your room before he comes skipping down the steps with a big smile on his face.

You chuckle at him as he jumps right in front of you, cupping your cheeks and pressing his lips into yours, a wet smooch sound echoing off the walls.

"You're so cute." your face is warm as you giggle at him.

"That's you." he pinches your cheek, making you whine a little.

"So, do you like my outfit?" he asks with a little spin, a bright smile on his face.

"Of course, you look very handsome." you giggle.

"Don't I always?" he wiggles his eyebrows and you roll your eyes at him playfully.

"Why is this new diner so special that you're sooo excited about it?" you ask as the two of you make your way out of your house.

Felix swings your linked hands and smiles.

"You'll see. I know you'll love it." his eyes shine as he beams at you.

"Fine, I trust you." you say and he brings your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently.

It's another beautiful sunny day, the birds are chirping in the trees, there is no trace of clouds in the sky, everyone around you seems to be happy, wearing big smiles and saying a polite 'good morning' as you pass them by.

You smile too, enjoying the sun's warmth as Felix yaps about a new video game he discovered recently.

Come to think of it, you don't remember the last time it rained or snowed.

While you ponder this, Felix notices your absent-mindedness and nudges you.

"You're not listening to me." he pouts.

"Sorry, I was just thinking how it's been sunny for so long that I almost forgot what it's like when it rains." you chuckle and Felix's eyes widen for a moment.

"Oh- I mean, isn't that good?" he asks, licking at his lip nervously.

"Sure, but it'd be nice to get some rain now and then." you shrug, looking around.

"I'm sure it'll rain soon." Felix is more quiet than usually when he says that but you pay no mind as the mysterious diner he'd been raving all week about finally comes into view.

"Felix!" you exclaim, grabbing at his arm, a big smile spreading on your face upon seeing what all the rave was about.

Your boyfriend's demeanor changes instantly as he perks up, a big smile on his face.

"It's a space themed diner!" you clap excitedly as you near the entrance.

"Mhm. Just what you love." Felix's eyes sparkle as he looks at your face adoringly. "Are you happy?" he adds.

"Happy? I'm estatic!" you practically skip the rest of the distance as Felix trails behind you with a satisfied smile on his face.

Seeing you like this is the biggest gift he could ever have the honor to indulge in, it's all he needs.

To see you happy.

You hurry inside and the interior of the diner makes you gasp.

The walls are filled with beautiful space paintings and photographs, the ceiling is made of some kind of big screen that has an entire galaxy lighting up here and there, as if all the little stars are actually shining above your heads, spacecraft oval shaped chandeliers hang from the stars, the little lights inside them shining with different colors of the rainbow.

The whole diner seems to be presented as the Solar System, each booth belonging to one planet and designed according to colors and traits of the planet.

Everything seems shiny and sparkly, some experimental electronic music is playing from the speakers as the waiters rush around, all dressed in shiny suits, with cute space details sewn into them.

The place is packed but as if it was waiting for you, the booth inspired by Jupiter, your favorite planet, is empty.

"Shall we?" Felix smiles, reaching his hand out to you.

You nod fervently, still trying to process the entire design of the diner, your heart dancing inside your chest happily.

Felix chuckles and leads you to the booth and as soon as you sit down, an automated voice starts talking from the little speaker on the wall.

"Welcome to Jupiter, the gas giant of our Solar System! It is primarily made out of gases and liquids so your feet won't really touch any ground but that's okay, you can always float along! Just be careful not to get swept away by the famous cyclonic storm called the Great Red Spot, hehe! Fun fact: Jupiter has 80 moons!" the voice talks.

"Startled me at first." you chuckle. "Actually, Jupiter has 95 moons discovered, as of lately. I guess they didn't update the fun fact." you add and Felix frowns.

"Hm." he purses his lips and you giggle. "How could they not update it?"

"It's okay, it's not that big of a deal." you giggle at his pouty face.

Before he can answer, a waiter appears next to your table.

"Hello, my fellow space explorers! I'm glad to see you've chosen Jupiter as your destination today. Take a look at the selection on our menu, it's just out of this world!" the waiter laughs, putting down your menus and twirling around as he walks away giving you some time to decide.

"This place is so kooky." you laugh in delight and your boyfriend smiles at you.

"You like it, right?" he asks.

"I love it, Lixie." you confirm and Felix's face becomes brighter again.

"I wanna try the Milky Way shake." Felix says as he skims through the menu.

"Yeah, we can get a big one, share it?" you blink at him and he melts.

"Of course. What do you wanna eat?" he asks.

"Um- the trip to the moon pancakes sound yummy."

"Ooh, I will get the andromeda cake then and we can share and taste both."

After placing your order, you look around, marvelling at the way they thought about every little detail as whoever made this put a lot of thought into this diner and is obviously a space lover like you.

Your eyes fall to another booth, the Mars one, hues of orange and red swirling on the wall and the seats as your eyes follow the intricate design all the way to the woman sitting in the booth with another woman, perhaps a friend, perhaps her lover.

Something seemed off, though.

The woman was taking sips from her glass, but it seemed like no matter how many times she sipped, the liquid inside didn't move.

Again, she took a big sip and you could see her throat move as she swallowed but the same amount of red liquid with little golden sparkles inside it remained.

You don't know why you were fixating on such a little detail, but it was so peculiar.

"What is it? You like the Mars booth more?" Felix follows your eyes.

"N-no. Just... nevermind." you smile at him. "I'm just looking at the different designs. They're all so pretty." you settle on saying.

"I'm glad- I mean yeah they are." he smiles at you.

Your Milky Way shake arrives along with your food, and everything looks sparkly and delicious, decorated with little edible stars and edible glitter.

Felix and you talk about nonsense, relaxed and full of laughter as you share the shake, sipping from it at the same time.

The way he stares at you, his eyes dark and intense yet so soft and full of love, makes your stomach do backflips every time he's this close to you.

After the delicious brunch, the two of you decide to take a walk to a nearby park, wanting to catch some fresh air and stretch your legs.

Felix's arm is wrapped around your shoulders as you melt into him, your arm wrapped around his waist.

"Ugh Felix, what day is it today?" you suddenly feel confused.

"It's Thursday. Why?" he chuckles.

"Weren't you supposed to be at work?" your brain struggles to remember if he said he had a day off or not.

"Y/n, don't be silly. I have the whole week free, remember? We said we'd spend as much time as we can together."

"Right." you chuckle, your memory refreshed. "Silly me. Must be the Milky Way shake with the way I'm spacing out."

Felix laughs at your pun as you wiggle your eyebrows at him.

The world is so beautiful with the sound of his laughter gracing it and with his attention focused only on you.

With warmness in your heart, you return to your home.

-

You work from home, so as soon as you arrive back at your house, you sit down at your desk.

You feel bad for not helping Felix with dinner but he reassures you that he doesn't mind cooking a meal for the two of you, in fact, it makes him happy.

Retreating into your home office, you began working.

Exhaustion takes you over after a few hours, not even realizing what time it is until there's a knock on your door.

"Y/n, love? Dinner is ready." it's Felix's warm deep voice and you turn to look at him, a smile on your face instantly.

"Okay, I'll be down in a few minutes-"

"Babe, you've done enough. Come on, you need to eat something." Felix makes his way to you, his hand gentle on your upper back as he caresses you.

You melt into his touch instantly, thoughts of continuing to work disperse immediately.

"Okay." you chuckle as he leans down to kiss your forehead gently.

The food is delicious like always and as you keep eating, the sky outside darkens suddenly.

You squint your eyes, lifting your head up to look out the window.

"Oh!" you exclaim as thunder rolls in.

Felix turns his head towards the sound, seemingly unphased but there is a small smirk dancing on his lips that you miss.

"Looks like it's gonna rain after all." he says.

"Yeah." you quip, a weird feeling settling in your stomach.

You decide to ignore it, it's a coincidence that it started raining just when you thought about it, it's not like you predicted the weather or something.

"Did you enjoy dinner?" Felix smiles and you nod.

"Of course, it was delicious. I'm not letting you wash the dishes alone though." you point at him jokingly.

"It's fine, sweetheart." Felix is quick to shake his head as he starts cleaning out the table.

"No, you cooked. Let me be useful for something at least."

"You are useful."

"You know what I meant." you say and he nods, the two of you settling on washing the dishes together.

As you're putting the last plate in its place, Felix appears behind you, pressing his body into yours as his arms wrap around you.

He whines, nuzzling his face in your neck as goosebumps rise on your skin and you melt into him.

"Hello there." you giggle.

"Mm." his lips attach to your neck, leaving gentle kisses and you lean your head back on his shoulder, giving him more space.

"Let's shower together." you suggest and Felix hums against you with a smirk.

It's a daily routine you have, any moment you don't have to spend apart, you spend together including showering.

If someone gave Felix the chance, he would quit his job and just be your boyfriend.

He often thought about that, spending every second of the day with you, even while you work, he'd be content in sitting quietly next to you.

He'd have you all to himself, forever.

But, real life gets in the way but he concludes that that's what makes every moment you are with him even more precious.

"Let me help you, sweetheart." his voice drips with honey again as he turns your back to him while the two of you stand under the shower.

Shivers run up your spine as his fingertips slide on your back.

He grabs your shampoo, pouring it on his hands before he starts washing your hair.

You relax into his touch, loving the way he always takes care of you. His hands are gentle but firm as he massages the bubbles into your scalp before rinsing it off.

As you lean back into him, his semi-hard cock brushes against your backside and you chuckle.

"Someone's getting excited." you look back at him with a playful smirk.

"Can you blame me? My beautiful girlfriend is naked right in front of me." he smiles somewhat of an innocent smile, a contrast to the steamy atmosphere shaping between you.

His arms wrap around you as he pulls your body flush against his, making you shiver.

"I need you, my sweet." he whispers, bumping his nose with yours, lips brushing against you.

"Lixie." his hands roam on your body, as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. "Let's go to bed, hm? I love the thought of shower sex but last time you slipped and almost cracked your head open on the tiles and I really don't want to go through that again."

Felix whines in embarassment, burying his face in your neck as he tightens his hold on you.

"That was one time. All the other times were fine." he pouts against your skin.

"I don't wanna see you hurting, come on." you say and he reluctantly follows you out of the shower.

After drying off, Felix whisks you away to your bedroom, almost throwing you down on the soft bed as you squeal, the room filled with laughter.

"My sweetheart." he coos at you, his hand cupping your cheek as his thumb swipes on your skin.

Before you can say anything, his plump lips are on yours as he kisses you lovingly, passionately, possessively, his tongue pushing inside and swirling around yours, taking your breath away.

You clutch onto him as he lowers his middle into yours, grinding his hardening cock against your wet pussy.

He keeps kissing you and swallowing your moans, as his tip catches your entrance a few times but he keeps grinding against you.

"L-Lix, need you." you whimper in frustration, wanting him to fill you up.

"Yeah? My baby needs me?" he smirks and you whimper again.

"Yes, please. Need you inside me." you bat your eyelashes at him, trying to look as cute as possible even though Felix would kiss the ground you walked on if you told him to.

"Such a good girl. Asking so nicely." he keeps smirking before grabbing his cock and slowly sinking into your heat.

Both of you moan at the feeling as he slowly pushes in, bottoming out and fitting snuggly inside you.

Felix tries, he really does, he tries to be gentle but you feel so damn good clenching around him, keeping his cock inside you, your legs and arms wrapped around him as he fucks into your sweet spot.

"Ah!" you exclaim as Felix picks up his speed, his hips snapping into you as he presses your knees to your shoulders, coming down on you with all his weight.

Your eyes roll in the back of your head as he fucks you relentlessy, making you cum in mere minutes.

"Shit, baby you're so wet." Felix looks down at his cock, the white cream of your pleasure painted on his length.

He grunts deeply before fucking into you again, the squelching sounds making your face and ears burn.

Your boyfriend is like a bunny in heat, never stopping or slowing down, making his cock slip out of you on accident as he keeps wilding above you.

A little whimper escapes his lips, missing your heat immediately as he grabs his length and pushes back into you, resuming his ruthless pace.

"Mm, yeah, take it." he groans and all you can do is moan as you let him have his way with you.

"F-Felix!" you moan as he brings you to your second orgasm.

"Yeah, say my name baby." he smirks as he pounds into you.

You keep moaning his name as you climax, getting his cock even more wet which in return makes him even crazier for you.

You're sure the bed will break with the force he's fucking you with, his cock slipping out of you a few more times, making him whimper every time it happens.

He grips your hips, thrusting into you erratically as his cock twitches inside you.

"Gonna give you my cum." his voice is whiny and high-pitched, breathless from the exertion.

"Yes, fill me up, Lixie!" you whimper and he cums, buried deep inside you as your pussy milks his cock down to the last drop.

Felix collapses on top of you and you hold each other, as you listen to the sound of the rain hitting the glass.

"Isn't it weird that it started raining as soon as I mentioned it?" you swallow, staring out the window, your hands drawing random patterns on Felix's back.

You feel him tense in your hold before he lets out a chuckle.

"No, maybe you heard it on the news and subconsciously thought about it or something. Or maybe..." he turns to look at you, his cheek leaned on your breast. "Maybe you have superpowers and you can predict the future." Felix wiggles his eyebrows playfully and you let out a snort.

"Oh sure, that sounds highly likely." you shake your head as he lifts up and kisses you.

"I love you." he smiles after attacking you with sweet kisses.

"I love you, Lixie." you cradle his face.

"Guess we gotta shower again?"

The next morning, you were woken up by Felix's lips on your inner thighs as he made his way to your core.

"Lix..." you mutter half asleep and he only hums in response, lips ghosting over your panties before pressing a kiss to your cunt.

"L-Lixie!" you whine when his tongue darts out to lick at the damp spot on the fabric.

"Relax, baby, let me take care of you." your eyes flutter closed again as he slips off your underwear, his lips wrapping around your clit immediately.

As always, Felix is hungry for you, like he can never get enough of your taste and the way you feel against his tongue, the way you grip his hair or press your thighs around his head.

He ruts against the bedsheets as you slide your middle against tongue, gripping his hair.

He moans into you, the vibrations helping you get closer to the edge as he digs his nails into your plushy thighs.

Fireworks explode from the inside, spilling your sweet juices on Felix's tongue and chin.

"Mm, baby." he whines against your cunt, lapping you up and leaving more kisses on your clit and all along your folds.

"Sensitive..." you whimper and he leans back before lifting up and hovering over you.

"I couldn't help myself, you just looked so sweet while sleeping." Felix bites on his lip as he looks at you adoringly.

"Oh, I don't mind." you smirk. "Let me help you."

"Um..." his face becomes red suddenly. "I - erm, finished already."

"Oh. Oh." you look down at his boxers.

"Embarassing, really."

"It's not. I'm flattered actually." you smirk, caressing his face.

Felix chuckles cutely before leaning down to kiss you.

"What's the plan for today?" you ask against his lips.

"Well, I was thinking we could have a picnic. I mean, it's sunny again." he nods towards the window.

"Okay, I love picnics." you smile as he gets up.

"Actually, I don't remember when was the last time I went on a picnic." you purse your lips, sitting up.

For some reason, memories seem blurry when you start thinking about them, it almost hurts your brain to try and remember well; almost anything.

"We had one like a month ago. Remember? You cut up fruits in the shapes of little stars." Felix says, rummaging through his drawer.

It's as if it suddenly appears in your mind, the clear memory of you preparing for the picnic together with Felix, enjoying a sunny day in the nature.

"Right, I remember now." you chuckle nervously. "Why couldn't I remember that?"

"You just woke up, you need some coffee, my love." Felix comes up to you and kisses your head.

"I'm gonna go take a quick shower." he says and you nod, watching him leave to the bathroom.

You get up and make your way to the kitchen, making some coffee and toast for the two of you, before you start preparing snacks for the picnic.

While you're working on the sandwiches, you can't shake off the uneasy feeling that's creating a knot in your stomach.

When was the last time you went outside without Felix? When was the last time he walked out of the house to go to work? When was the last time you talked to your family?

You can't remember. None of it.

Before you start panicking, Felix appears in the kitchen, startling you.

"Oh, Lix!" you exclaim, your hand on your chest.

"What scared you? It's just me." he smiles sweetly at you.

You stare at him for a moment, could he be hiding something from you?

But Felix is always so caring and loving, he is the best partner you could ever ask for.

He always makes an effort, takes you out on dates, takes care of you when you're tired or sick, is attentive towards your wants and needs; he actually listens to you when you talk.

He loves you.

"Y/n?" Felix chuckles, waving a hand in front of your face.

"Ah, sorry." you laugh awkwardly. "Was just lost in thought."

"What were you thinking about?" Felix grabs one of the toasts you made and bites into it.

"You. How wonderful of a boyfriend you are." you settle on saying, because it is sort of true.

"Aw, darling. Only the best for you." he skips towards you with a big smile, enveloping you in a bone crushing hug as you squeal and grab at him, both of you laughing.

How could you even doubt him?

Felix helps you with the rest of the snacks before the two of you get ready and walk out into another beautiful sunny day.

The walk is short, as there is a park near to your house, your memory now refreshed as you see the tree you always sit under coming into view.

Felix and you race towards the tree, laughing and giddy like little children.

You almost get there first but his arms wrap around your middle and he pulls you back into him, making you almost drop the basket of food you were carrying.

"Lixie! That's cheating!" you put as he turns you around and touches the tree with his foot.

"I won!" Felix smirks.

You pout at him as he puts his backpack down and takes out the picnic blanket.

"Not fair." you whine and he chuckles at you, cupping your face.

"Fine, you won and I'm just a dirty cheater." he smirks and you laugh as he kisses you.

"There, is that better?" he rubs his nose against yours.

"Yes." you nod, making him laugh.

The two of you settle on the blanket, even bringing a speaker so you can play some music while you chat and eat.

After some time, Felix wraps his arm around you and leans on you so you wrap your arms around him as he settles on your chest.

It's quiet for a while and since your focus is not on Felix at the moment, you start looking around.

Cars roll in the distance, one, two, three, four, five, six, then again... It seems as if the same six cars keep passing by.

You stare in disbelief before your eyes fall near the pond where a man is throwing a stick to his dog.

It lands next to a tree and the dog runs to get it, bringing it back to its owner. Then it repeats, the man throws the stick, it lands next to the same tree, the dog gets it, the man throws the stick...

The stick keeps landing on the exact same spot next to that tree, the probability of that is too low for it to be happening repeatedly.

"Lix?" you swallow.

"Yes, sweets?" Felix looks up at you.

"Do you ever- do you ever feel like something is wrong? But you can't quite put your finger on it."

"What do you mean?" he lifts up to look at you, his eyes searching yours.

"Well... Look at that man and his dog." you point and Felix turns to look.

"What about them?"

"Watch where the stick lands." you say and Felix watches as it lands next to the tree.

And so it does again. And again.

"So?" he licks his lips.

"How is he hitting the exact same spot every time?"

"Good hand-eye coordination? Practice?" Felix says, a nervous smile on his face.

You sigh in frustration.

"What about the road? Look at the road!" you point again and Felix looks.

"The same six cars keep going round and round."

"They're not the same, it just seems so."

"Felix, something is wrong. I can feel it! Like how it started raining when I mentioned it. And the lady in the diner yesterday, she kept drinking from her glass but the amount of liquid stayed the same."

"Babe, that's silly. Nothing is wrong. I'm sure it just seemed so, maybe the glass was in the same color as her drink?" Felix places his hand on yours cautiously.

"Lix... I don't know, it's just that I can't remember certain things and it's bothering me."

Felix's eyes dart left and right, his lips pursed.

"Like what?"

"Like the last time I saw my friends or family. The last time you left the house. The last time I was home alone."

"We visited your family two months ago. You saw your friends last weekend. I left the house last week every day when I was working and you were home alone then." Felix frowns as he looks at you. "Baby, are you feeling alright?" he adds, touching your forehead and your eyes water.

"N-no." you whimper, feeling so confused and wondering what the hell is wrong with you.

"How about we go home and you take a nap? I promise you'll feel better after sleeping." Felix coos at you, caressing your face.

"Are you sure it's gonna be okay?" you hiccup.

"I promise, my love." he smiles, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

Felix takes you home, and you trust him when he lays you down and whispers how everything is going to be just fine.

You wake up from your nap feeling drowsy and slightly confused.

Felix is next to you, his arms wrapped around you as he breathes deeply.

You sit up, grabbing the glass of water he has left on the nightstand for you when you wake up.

After sipping on the refreshing liquid, you look outside the window and freeze.

"What the fuck?" you mumble to yourself, squinting your eyes as you get up.

"What the fuck?" you repeat, trying to process what your eyes are seeing and Felix stirs behind you.

"Babe?" he grunts a little as he sits up.

"L-Lix..." your voice is shaky as you start panicking.

Felix gets up as you keep staring out the window.

The void stares back at you.

There is nothing outside. No road, no trees, no supermarket, it's not the street you live on, it's one big nothing; just a white light.

"Oh, shit!" Felix exclaims as he sees what you're looking at.

"I told you! I told you something is wrong!" you turn to look at your boyfriend, tears sliding down your cheeks.

But instead of looking scared, Felix looks angry.

"Fucking shit!" his voice raises as his hands reach towards the books on your table, and in frustration he pulls on them, making them clatter down on the floor.

"Felix!" you exclaim as he starts raging, throwing everything on the table down to the floor in a wave of anger.

You've never seen him like this, panicking you step back, not knowing how to react to his outburst or what it all means.

Felix looks up at you suddenly, his eyes softening and filling up with guilt.

"I'm- I'm sorry, y/n."

"Tell me what is happening." you say and he shakes his head.

"Stay here." he says and you step towards him.

"No, tell me what's going on!" you demand and the scowl is back on your boyfriend's face.

"Stay right here and stop asking fucking questions." he says angrily, making you flinch before he leaves the room.

The door slams behind him and as you make your move to follow him, you hear the lock click.

"Felix?" you grip the handle, trying to open up the door. "Felix! You can't just lock me in here without any explanation!" you scream, rattling and kicking the door.

"Felix, please come back!" you yell, your fists pounding against the wood. "I'm scared." you add quietly as fresh tears spill down your cheeks.

Felix disconnects the VR set from his head.

How the fuck did this happen?

How come it didn't render the street as it always does? Why have you started noticing the little things you've never noticed before? Why have you started thinking about your past so much?

He opens up the code with a frustrated sigh, his fingers gliding against the keyboard.

Maybe the AI is getting stronger and more brainy the more he plays with it.

Felix's eyebrows knit together as he goes over the thousands lines of code, trying to figure out if there is some kind of mistake that the computer is not picking up on.

His stomach grumbles and he leans back with a sigh, the virtual food can only do so much.

Felix finally stands up from his table, realizing how long he must've been sitting there judging by the ache in his legs and back.

"I'll deal with you later." he waves his finger towards the computer before picking up his phone and ordering pizza.

He grabs a can of soda from his fridge and looks around.

It's eerily quiet in his apartment, save for the silent buzzing of his computer and the distant hum of traffic outside.

Felix makes his way to the big glass windows, staring down at the city before him.

He's gonna have to go back to work on Monday, knowing he can't spend as much time with you the way he wants to when his vacation days end, brings a sadness to his soul.

The 'you' who basically doesn't exist, you who is just lines and lines of code, a program, there only when he disconnects from reality.

If he could, Felix would disconnect from it forever just so he could be inside the damn device next to you, always.

And now since he made you upset, it's going to be hard to get everything back how it was before, under his control.

He gets angry at himself for not being more careful and adding in more details, all for the sake of just being with you the whole time, seeing you happy and satisified.

Yes, that's all Felix wants.

He wants to be the only one you smile at, the only one that gets to enjoy something so holy and beautiful like your love and your touch.

The doorbell snaps him out of his thoughts and after paying the delivery guy, Felix sits alone and eats his dinner while thinking of ways to correct his mistakes.

You were not gonna slip from his fingers.

This won't be ruined for him.

You open your eyes and turn to see Felix already awake, on his side, his head propped on his hand as he stares at you lovingly.

"Good morning, my angel." he smiles at you.

"M-morning. I- ugh... I feel weird. I think I had a nightmare." your throat is dry as you swallow and Felix grabs the glass of water, bringing it to your lips.

"What kind of nightmare?"

"Well, there was nothing outside- outside the windows. And you got mad and started throwing stuff around. You really scared me."

"Oh my love, that would never happen." Felix quickly wraps his arms around you. "Everything outside is fine too, look." he turns you both towards the window and sure enough, everything looks normal.

"I'm so glad it was just a dream. I never want us to fight or anything." you whimper and Felix shushes you.

"Everything is perfect, my love. And I will make sure it stays that way." Felix mutters into your hair before pressing a few sweet kisses there.

"It's my last free day before going to work. Let's enjoy it together, without you worrying your pretty head about anything, hm?" he adds and you nod with a chuckle.

Felix and you decide to go bowling and then out for lunch, topping the outing off with a nice walk near the beach and everything seems perfect again; nothing like the bad dream you had or the unsettling feeling in your stomach.

No, that feeling was replaced with butterflies as Felix smiled lovingly at you, telling you how much he loves you.

When you got home, you spent hours in each other's embrace, connected as one.

Everything was beautiful, the way it was supposed to be.

It's Monday and Felix makes his way to work.

The bell on the door chimes as he opens it, eyes looking up at him from the counter.

He smiles wide as he enters.

"Hi, Lix!" you smile innocently at him.

"Hey, y/n." he smiles back, the voices in his head telling him he's sick but he ignores them.

"How was your vacation? Did something fun?" you ask, always so sweet, so polite, so pretty.

"Oh yeah. It was amazing." he nods at you.

You smile, not wanting to pry too much, unaware of what Felix has been doing for almost two years since he started working with you.

As soon as he saw you for the first time, Felix swears he felt Cupid shoot his arrow right into his heart. You were so beautiful, so pure like an angel.

Always smiling, always nice with everyone. The sound of your laughter melodious inside the cafe, echoing off the walls.

You always gave extra sweets to kids.

You always stayed behind to clean up.

You always offered to help out.

He wanted to have you all to himself.

He wanted to capture your beauty and innocence and hold it in the palm of his hand, have it exist only for him.

Yes, Felix could've confessed or asked you out.

But then you would see how boring he is, how he has nothing to offer to you.

You'd leave him, you'd smile at someone else, your attention wouldn't be only directed towards him.

Felix started staying behind with you, under the guise of helping you out just to get more information about where you live, what you enjoy, what you dislike, what your hobbies are.

It wasn't enough.

He became obsessed.

Felix learned your schedule and started breaking into your house.

At first, he stole some panties and went through all your stuff, reading your diaries, going through your photographs, taking your privacy away from you without you having a clue about it.

But then it became worse as he would wait for you to come home, his body cramped under your bed.

He would watch you get undressed, listen to you touch yourself on your bed, his cock straining against his pants and he couldn't do anything about it except squeeze it occasionally.

Embarassingly, he came into his pants while only listening to you more times than he'd like to admit.

It wasn't enough.

Felix was hungry for more.

That's how he came to the idea to steal your dna and feed it to the new AI system he was working on in his spare time.

He had to collect enough of it to have the ai take on your personality, the one he loved and admired so much.

Felix spent hours and hours coding and working on the program, until finally he could use it.

It was everything he wanted and more.

You were happy there.

You were his there.

Here, in the real world, you were just coworkers and that fact started bothering Felix more and more.

Unaware of his intentions, you smiled at Felix and he smiled back at you.

It was time to take another step so he could have you for real this time.

Tonight, you were gonna become his and there was no way to escape.

Felix was gonna show you how happy he can make you, only him.

You're going to be right where you belong.

taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny @porangporangmeong @jeonginslefthand @laughatdanger @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun

[dorabellingham]

La Liga

warning: none

characters: jude x fem!reader

summary: when you're celebrating the la liga trophy, but he's really drunk and keeps asking you to marry him

may contain spelling and translation errors!

It was a party night at the stadium, and Real Madrid had just won the La Liga championship. The team, the fans, everyone was cheering, but no one seemed happier and more relaxed than Jude. He was completely overcome with euphoria, hugging everyone who passed by —players, journalists, staff, it didn't matter who it was, he just wanted to share his happiness.

With a bottle of whisky in one hand and the La Liga trophy in the other, Jude danced and sang as if the world was watching (and it was). His smile was so wide it seemed permanent, and his laugh was contagious. When the background music changed to a lively funk, he wasted no time in starting to dance, with exaggerated steps and movements with the clumsy and fun touch of someone who was clearly a few glasses too many. In the midst of all this joy, he suddenly spotted you, who were there backstage, waiting for the right moment to congratulate him. Jude's eyes shone even brighter when he saw you, and he practically dropped the trophy, walking towards you with a passionate smile.

—BABE!

He shouted from the other side of the field, running towards you and, in the middle of the path, almost tripping over his own legs.

Arriving at your side, he pulled you into a tight hug, the strong smell of whisky in the air. Without letting go of you, he began to speak, the words coming out in a slurred and exaggerated way.

—Y/n, you are... you are the most incredible woman in the world! —He declared, his hands cupping your face adoringly. —Marry me? Please! I love you, I'm crazy about you!

You laughed, trying to keep your composure in front of your clearly drunk husband and the cameras that recorded every second of that moment.

—Jude, we're already married!

You reminded him, trying unsuccessfully to hide your amused smile.

But that didn't seem to make a difference to him. Jude continued with the scene, his eyes shining and his tone of voice rising even higher.

—No, no, babe! I want to marry you again! I need to hear you say ‘yes’!

He pulled one of your hands and, on his knees, began to make a dramatic marriage proposal right there, in the middle of the field, while the reporters around filmed and laughed.

—Y/n, my love! Marry me again, will you? Please?

He begged, reaching out to you, as if it were the first time.

You tried to contain your laughter, shaking your head in denial.

—Honey, no. Come on, get up. We’re already married!

You looked around, noticing that the reporters were absolutely amused by the situation, and gently patted his hand, trying to get him to stand up.

It was then that, to everyone’s shock and surprise, Bellingham, with the expression of a devastated man, began to cry. Yes, cry! He put one hand to his face, covering his eyes, and grabbed the microphone from a reporter standing next to him, his voice cracking.

—I WAS REJECTED! —He announced dramatically, as if he were on stage. —She doesn’t want to marry me! Everyone saw it… she doesn’t love me anymore! —He looked at the microphone and repeated it, so there would be no doubt. —Are you seeing this? My wife doesn’t want to marry me again!

The reporters tried to hide their laughter, some barely able to keep the cameras focused. You, in turn, had your hands on your face, laughing and in disbelief at the show your drunk husband was putting on. You bent down to him, trying to whisper:

—Jude, honey, everyone’s watching! Get up, go…

He ignored you completely, turning to the camera with a martyr’s expression.

—She doesn’t love me, guys. Here I am, winning La Liga, and my wife… rejects me.

He sighed theatrically as the camera focused on his face.

The crowd in the stands, who were already laughing and applauding the scene, began to scream, encouraging Jude. And he, of course, loved the encouragement, raising his fist in the air, as if he were ready to fight for that love right there.

You, still laughing, pulled him by the arm, finally managing to lift him up.

—Come on, you dramatic! Let's go home.

But he seemed unable to let the moment pass. Hugging you tightly, he lifted you in the air, spinning you around as he continued to speak towards the microphone he was still holding.

—I love this woman! She is everything to me. My wife... and the most beautiful of all!

The crowd applauded, and Jude, finally satisfied with the show he had put on, gave you a loud kiss on the cheek and finally handed the microphone back to the reporter, laughing at his own situation.

As they left the field, with his arms around her and his eyes shining, Jude whispered:

—But you’ll marry me again one day, right?

You rolled your eyes, laughing.

—We’re already married, love. Come on, let’s go home before you even ask the trophy to marry you.

[forever-rogue]

Your fics kill me and bring me back to life queen! Requesting Joel and fem!reader almost dying from a clicker attack; Joel and her end up getting blood stained, give each other a bath in the same tub, and talk about what’s to come.

AN | This concept is both so sad but so soft ❤️

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 1.9k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･ ��ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Both you and Joel were covered in blood, guts, and bits of brain. 

You’d been doing your best not to cry, trying to remain somewhat composed but it was hard. The tears were welling up in your eyes but none of them had managed to roll down your cheeks just yet. You were fighting them back; you knew that once the tears started it would open the floodgates and all the pent up emotions would come right out. 

Joel, meanwhile, looked almost…fine. Not fine, but not like you, ready to fall apart at any moment. You supposed that he was more used to it, the violence and gore, while you were still fairly…unfamiliar. Admittedly, you had very little ‘real’ world experience compared to Joel. You knew that one day, you’d probably come across the infected, but you hadn’t expected that it would come close to costing you your life. 

Your partner had been all but silent as he sprang into action to help save you while you panicked, screamed, and cried, probably attracting almost everything around you. Joel had remained the image of cool and collected as he took them all down to make sure you were safe. 

Once you were safe and accounted for, he’d hauled you to your feet and started making his way back home, keeping you close behind. Neither of you spoke a word, the silence loud enough to speak volumes. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

By the time you got back to the home you shared with Joel, you felt like you were on the verge of a mental breakdown. You closed the door behind the two of you, before leaving against it and sliding to the floor, in a small heap of sobs. You weren’t able to contain the emotions any longer and they all spilled out at once. You didn’t even care that you were dirty and smelly, you just couldn’t be bothered to keep going at that moment. 

Joel had already started making his way upstairs but stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he heard your first sob. He turned back around and quickly made his way over to you, dropping to his knees right to see what was going on.

“Hey,” he whispered softly, reaching for your face and gently taking it in his hands. He hated to see you crying, especially right now, when you had just had a near death experience. Joel brushed your tears away, trying to hide his frown when he noticed all the grime and blood still sticking to your skin. He wished you hadn’t had to experience such a thing; he’d tried to protect but failed. He could have, should have, done more, “baby, you’re alright. It’s okay, I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

You managed a small nod, your lip trembling as a few more tears ran down your cheeks. Joel gently shushed you before pulling you into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around you. With the little energy and strength you had remaining, you hugged him back, burying your face into his chest. He held you for a while, letting you get out your tears, and occasionally offering you a few gentle words of reassurance. When you felt like you were all dried up and your throat was raw, you pulled back and looked at him with puffy, red eyes and a forlorn expression on your face. 

“You’re going to be okay,” he promised, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I swear it.”

“Joel,” you managed to choke out his name, “I…today...it was horrible.”

“I know,” he brushed his knuckles along your cheek, his heart hurting for what you had just been through. He’d gone through it enough times himself and had gotten to the point where he had become almost numb to it all. It was a horrible thing really, to become so desensitized to actions that had once been considered carnage. He was silent for a few moments, unsure of what to say. There wasn’t much to say and he couldn’t just turn back time, “it becomes easier over time, but I don’t want it to become easier for you. I don’t want you to have to go through that again.”

“But,” you looked at him with wide eyes as you grabbed his hands and held them tightly in yours. You’d been so caught up in your own woes that you hadn’t even considered how Joel could have been feeling, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he offered you a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, that didn’t quite feel genuine, “I’m alright.”

“Are you?” your question came softly, whispered just loud enough for him to hear. He paused for a moment before hanging his head and giving it a gentle shake. You breathed in softly and exhaled through your nose before wrapping your arms around his neck and giving him a tight hug, squeezing him with everything you had, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he murmured softly as he buried himself in you, breathing in your soft scent and allowing it to wash over him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After a short while, you slowly untangled yourselves before making your way upstairs to the bathroom. You were almost desperate to get the dirt and grime and whatever else was on your body so you could feel like a human again. 

When you got upstairs and into the bathroom, Joel immediately turned on the shower, getting it just as warm as you liked. He turned to you, slowly and reverently starting to peel off your clothes. You lifted your arms as so he could remove your shirt, a small sound escaping your lips as the cloth stuck to a few of the superficial wounds you’d managed to obtain. It already felt a million times better just to be free of your shirt, which was quickly followed by your bra. 

Joel’s touch was gentle as he undid the button of your jeans before helping you to step out of them and kicking them to the side to get them as far away as possible. Your underwear was next and you left standing there naked. It didn’t matter though; just shedding the layers allowed you to feel a million times better.

You wiped some of the grim from your face before motioning for Joel to step closer to you. He did so, his face becoming more gentle as he watched you. You reached for the hem of his henley, slowly pulling it over his head and tossing it into the pile of your clothes. Your lips pulled into a small frown when you realized that his ribs and shoulder were already starting to bruise. You trailed your fingers softly along his skin, tutting under your breath.

“It doesn’t hurt that bad,” he insisted, which you knew was only for your benefit, “nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” you insisted, reaching for his belt buckle and slowly undoing it before and tugging his jeans down his legs. Joel pulled down his boxers before kicking it all away, “I already feel better. Just having the gross clothes gone.”

He made a small sound in response before pulling the shower curtain back so you could get inside and under the warmth of water. You let out an audible sigh at the feeling of the warm water cascading all over your skin. Joel stepped in after you, shoulders sagging with relief that the day was over and that you were both home safe. 

“C’mere,” he grabbed your shoulders and tenderly traded places with you. He grabbed the shampoo bottle, pouring some into his hand before moving to wash your hair. You tried to ignore the water that was running off your bottles and red swirls that ran down the drain. It was over and you were okay. Joel started to lather the shampoo into your hair, massaging your scalp just how he knew you loved. You had to work to keep in the moan that threatened to spill out of your mouth at the feeling. 

He worked in silence for a while as you tried to relax and forget about the horrors of the day. It was when he was about halfway through conditioning your hair, you realized that tears had run down your face. When you stepped under the water to rinse your hair, Joel wiped away your tears, which managed to bring the smallest smile to your face. 

Once your hair was washed, you went to reach for the bar of soap but Joel beat you to it, working quickly to get your body clean and wash away the rest of dirt and grime that had been left on your body.

“Thank you,” you whispered softly, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a tight hug. The two of you stayed that way for a while, until you felt yourself start to get pruney, “come on, handsome. It’s my turn to get you all clean.”

Joel knew better than to argue with you, and admittedly loved getting his hair washed just as much as you did. You took your time to make sure he was just as clean as you were, pressing gentle kisses to his shoulders and neck. At one point, he took your face in his hands and kissed you until you were breathless. You let him hold you until the water ran cold and both of you were ready to get into pajamas and get into bed. 

Once you got out of the shower and dried off, you stole a shirt and a pair of boxers from Joel and slipped into them before getting into bed for some much needed rest. Joel followed suit and quickly joined you in the bed, letting out a groan at the comfort of being clean and in bed with you. 

He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into his warm frame so he was your big spoon.  You put your hand on top of his and offered it a gentle squeeze. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder before whispering in your ear, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you responded, “thank you for protecting me today. I don’t…I don’t know what I would have done without you today. I might be-”

“Shh,” he cut you off, “don’t say anything else. You don’t have to. We’re here now, safe.”

“Yeah,” you cleared your throat in an effort not to cry, “I’m glad for that.”

“Me too,” he promised, “me too.”

It wasn’t long after that until you both managed to fall asleep. 

[wikiangela]

you're my happily ever after (so i'll take my chance now, risk it all somehow)

rating: G

words: 2.6k

8x06 fix-it, because I'm pissed - I or my fics aren't going anywhere tho <3

thank you to @evansboyfrend for beta reading, ily 🫶

[also on Ao3]

It feels like the whole world is crumbling down. It feels like the Earth should shake, burst on fire, open up and swallow everything around. As dramatic as it is, he kind of expects it to happen, and it’s weird that he’s still sitting here. His ears are ringing, panic rising in his chest with each of Tommy’s words. He watches Tommy get up and head for the door, and he’s frozen to his spot. It’s not- it can’t be. It fucking can’t be. “Wait,” he finally manages to say, trying to keep his voice from trembling, “did you just break up with me?” He asks, hoping to any entity that listens that he just misinterpreted it, that he got it wrong. Because- because he can’t lose Tommy. He’s falling for him so fast and so hard. He’s ready for the next step. He’s ready to move in together. He’s ready to talk about one day, eventually, maybe getting married. He knows he wants that. He knows what he wants, and he wants Tommy.  “Yeah, I guess I did.” Tommy answers, glancing back at him, his expression sad but firm. But Buck knows him. Knows that this mask will crumble into something devastated as soon as he leaves. That Tommy’s heart will shatter, just as Buck’s is right now. He can see through Tommy, he knows that he cares about Buck. It just- it doesn’t make sense. What was he even talking about… It was all so much, so fast, Buck’s brain is still scrambling trying to understand it all.  “Believe me, I didn’t see-” Tommy starts, but Buck shakes his head and interrupts him. “No.” He stands up, his legs feeling shaky. Tommy fully turns towards him, confusion in his face. “What do you mean, ‘no’?” He frowns.

“I mean, no, you’re not breaking up with me.” Buck says more confidently than he feels. Because this can’t be it. The last six months, the best six months of his fucking life, can’t end like this. Can’t end at all. He won’t have this. “I know you care about me. And I care about you. And I don’t want to break up.” He sees Tommy open his mouth to speak, his expression hardening – putting on a mask again, trying to hide the hurt. He speaks again before Tommy can. “If you truly, genuinely want this, not because you think it’s gonna be better for me or you, but because you don’t want to be with me, fine, I can respect that. But I won’t accept it without a fight. I- I wanna fight for us, Tommy.” Buck steps closer to him, hoping that Tommy doesn’t step back, that might just break him. He doesn’t, he’s stuck in place, sad eyes on Buck’s. “Let me fight for us. You-” he adds quickly, on a roll now, not wanting Tommy to interrupt until after he’s done, after he’s said his piece. He needs to say it all now, let Tommy know how he feels. He can’t watch him leave without trying to fix it first. Tommy’s looking at him intently, just listening, not even trying to speak. “You gave me a second chance once, when I fucked up our first date, and I- I want to believe it wasn’t for nothing. So- so you’re my first man, so what?” Buck throws his hands up in frustration, he thinks he’s starting to sound a little frantic, speaking faster and faster. He just can’t let Tommy leave without him knowing exactly how Buck feels. “It’s far from my first relationship ever. Why- why is it so different just because you’re a man? It shouldn’t be. I don’t need to date other people, experiment or whatever else. I’ve dated people, slept around, did it all. I know how that goes, how it feels, and I don’t want to do it again. I know what I want, Tommy. And I want you. And don’t you dare tell me how I feel.” He feels anger seep in, Tommy’s words ringing in his head. What the actual fuck was he thinking? “I’m a grown man, I know how I feel. Yeah, it’s new and exciting, but it’s also real. It’s real to me, and- and if there’s any chance of forever, I want to take it. And-” he takes a breath. He feels like he’s been speaking in one breath, feeling a little lightheaded now, his heart hammering. Or maybe that’s just the panic. “And don’t start with the whole ‘I’m not your last’ bullshit.” He shakes his head again, tears welling up in his eyes, anger still building. Really, what in the world? How could Tommy want to just throw away the most wonderful relationship that’s happened to Buck in years? Maybe ever? “You don’t know that. I don’t know that. Yeah, we could break up one day. But you could also be my forever, and I could be yours. I’d love a chance to find out, even if it hurts in the end. But maybe that’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one here brave enough to risk it. And- and what about my heart, huh?” Tears are threatening to spill, his voice shaking now, with sadness and anger, and desperation. He can’t let him go, he can’t. “You said I’d break your heart eventually. But this, right now? This is you breaking mine.” He finishes, almost panting now, his monologue taking the wind out of him, wanting to say everything on his mind, in his heart. He hopes he got his point across. 

“Evan.” Tommy just whispers, with a pained expression. There are tears in his eyes, too, one lone one slipping through, falling down his cheek. Buck’s hand itches to reach out and wipe it off, but he’s not sure if he’s allowed to anymore. 

“Give us a chance, Tommy. Let us fight for this. Fight for me, for us. Fight with me.” He’s aware he sounds like he’s begging at this point, but he doesn’t care. This is too important. “I thought it’s been so good between us lately-”

“It has!” Tommy rushes to say. “It’s been amazing. You make me so happy. That’s why I’m scared, I just- I’m sorry, Evan, but I can’t let myself get hurt like this again. Because I- I’ve been there before, and it was hard to get back up, and with you- I don’t think I’d be able to ever recover from this one.” He admits, his stone-faced facade crumbling, and Buck can see his own feelings reflected in Tommy’s expression. Sad, devastated, heartbroken. 

“We can- we can take some time apart.” Buck says around a lump in his throat. He feels like he can’t breathe. All he wants is to rewind until before he dropped the moving in bomb which must be what made Tommy freak out. He could say anything else, and take it slower, and maybe they’d be on their way out right now, a date night like they planned. “If that’s what you need. A break. But not for good. And then let’s come back to it clear-headed, knowing for sure what we want. And if you still want to break up, I- I’ll respect that. But I already know what I want,” he repeats firmly, decisively. “I want a future with you. I want to move in together, and one day down the line get married, and- and I want it all with you. We can slow down if I’m rushing this. I tend to do that, and if it’s scaring you, I’m sorry.” He adds, not wanting to backtrack any of this, but aware of how intense he’s coming off. He’s never been more serious about anything in his life. “But the past six months have been the best in my life. I’ve never felt so happy, so free, so comfortable, so safe. And I’m not giving up on you, Tommy. I will fight for you until I can’t anymore, until you tell me that you don’t care about me and I should just fuck off.”

“Evan. You know I’ll never say that.” Tommy responds quietly.

“I know. Because I’m confident in us, in the fact that you do care, and you do want me. I know that.” Buck emphasizes, and realizes, not for the first time, that he never felt like this before. This secure. This confident about someone wanting him. “I also know you’re just trying to protect yourself, your heart, and I get it. But I can’t let you go without a fight. I won’t. I messed up a lot in my life, and I won’t mess up this. I refuse to. Because I-” he takes a sharp breath, the words pressing on his lips. He doesn’t want to say it for the first time in a possible break up, a moment of such anger and devastation. But he needs to put it all out there. Needs Tommy to understand how much he’s trying to throw away right now. “I love you, Tommy.” He confesses, sees Tommy’s face melt into the saddest expression Buck’s ever seen on anyone, tears spilling freely now. Both of theirs, he realizes, feeling wetness on his cheeks. “I’ve been falling for you a little bit more with each day we spend together, with each minute. And I know- I hope you feel the same. But if you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t-” he swallows thickly, the thought alone is too much to bear. 

“I can’t do that.” Tommy interrupts quickly. “Of course I love you, Evan. It happened so quickly it kind of scared me a little.” 

“I noticed.” Buck says dryly, and Tommy lets out a humorless chuckle. “If you ask me, which you didn’t, by the way, you decided for both of us, which was an asshole move,” he points out, and Tommy looks away, as if ashamed. Good. Buck loves him, which means he’s gonna call out when he’s acting shitty. “I’d rather give us a real try and get my heart shattered if it comes to this, instead of always wondering what if, always wondering if you’re my one who got away. Which you would be.”

“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, takes a step towards Buck, now just half a step away. “I’m sorry, maybe breaking up is too hasty. Impulsive,” he scoffs at himself, probably remembering how he called Buck that just a few minutes ago. Well, so maybe they’re both a little impulsive. Not a problem, in Buck’s opinion. “I don’t- I don’t want to break up. I never want to be away from you.” He says, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand flinches at his side, like he wants to reach out, grab Buck’s, touch him. Buck hopes he does. “It just- it seemed too fast. Like you got wrapped up in the moment. It’s still so new, I thought we were taking it one step at a time, and I didn’t-” he takes a deep breath, as if bracing himself, and Buck knows what he says is going to sting – and it does, it feels like a gut punch, actually, “I didn’t think you were as serious about this as I was getting. And I realize we should’ve done the mature thing and talked it out. I’m sorry. It’s just, we’ve barely talked about any future here. But I want it, of course I do. I’m just- I’m scared. My heart has never been in this much danger.” He looks into Buck’s eyes as he says it, more vulnerable than ever. This is everything Buck wants right now, for them to talk, to discuss this, to try fixing it, instead of one of them running away and the other giving up and not fighting for it. Buck’s been there, he doesn’t want a repeat.

“Tommy.” Buck is the one to close the distance between them, carefully brings his hands up to cup Tommy’s face, giving him a chance to back away, but he doesn’t. Instead, he breathes out a sigh of relief, like he craved Buck’s touch as much as Buck craves his. “You remember when I told you I wanted something with you? Even though I didn’t know what that something was yet?” he asks and Tommy nods slightly, Buck’s palms still resting on his cheeks. “I’ve been serious about you since that precise moment. About pursuing this, and wanting some kind of future with you. I know I tend to rush into things, it’s been a problem before.” He huffs a self-deprecating laugh. “I tried not to do that with you, but I failed, clearly. I just think from now on, we both should stay and talk and try to work it out if we have any issues with something. If you still want me.” He adds a little anxiously, but relaxed when he feels Tommy’s palms settle on his hips.

“Of course I want you, Evan. I always will.” Tommy says, that loving look in his eyes, that always makes Buck’s heart melt a little. That look that Buck loves so much, that made him think that Tommy might feel the same way.

“Good. Like I said, I’m not letting you go. Ever.” He says decisively, a huge weight that’s been there since the topic even started finally lifting off his chest. This might be the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and no matter the conclusion – which he’s pretty sure will be the happily ever after he’s always craved – it’s worth the risk, it’s worth everything.

“Good.” Tommy echoes, that gorgeous, scrunchy smile of his slowly spreading on his face, and it’s like sunshine came out from behind stormy clouds. “I don’t intend on letting you go, either. I love you, sweetheart. And I’m so sorry for… for this mess. For overreacting.”

“That’s fine, we’re past this- well, actually, we are gonna talk about it more, but at least we’re on the same page now, I hope.” Buck says, slowly leaning in. “I love you so much. I never want to lose you.”

“I’m sorry.” Tommy says again, and Buck just wants him to stop saying it. It’s fine, they’re fine now. “You won’t. You have me for as long as you want. I promise.”

“What if I want you forever?” Buck whispers, his face so close to Tommy's, their lips almost brush. It sends a shiver down his spine, like he hasn’t kissed him in days, when they just exchanged a quick kiss hello a few minutes ago.

“That works for me.” Tommy smiles again, and finally dives in for a kiss, but it lasts barely a second before he’s pulling away, Buck trying to follow. Tommy chuckles, running a comforting hand up and down Buck’s side. “But maybe let’s put a pause on the whole moving in together thing, huh? At least until we fully talk everything through.”

“Yeah, good idea.” Buck nods, his gaze flickering between Tommy’s eyes, now sparkling happily, and his pretty, kissable lips. It feels so good to be able to just have a mature conversation and resolve whatever issues arise. If they keep doing that, he thinks they’re going to be okay. He’ll make sure of that. “No need to be impulsive,” he adds, his lips twisting into a teasing smirk.

“Okay.” Tommy chuckles quietly, his cheeks reddening. “Just kiss me.” 

Buck doesn’t need to be told twice. He kisses Tommy like he means it, like he’s his person, like he’s the love of his life, trying to put all those emotions into a kiss. He knows for sure he’s getting the same intent back. And at this moment, in his kitchen, narrowly avoiding losing his love because of a stupid reason, he decides it. One day, not too quickly, but not too far into the future, he’s going to ask Tommy Kinard to marry him. And he’s more than sure of the response he’ll get.

[also on Ao3]

[luckykiwiii101]

YOU ARE VOID

(Your Power Is Beyond Human Comprehension)

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

ィI made something that’ll love me, even with my flaws⠀࿐

Hey Upper East Siders. You are many things, disappointing, frustrating, the polar opposite of persistent, and pitiful. Did that trigger you…? Well I hope it did. Because you better not have listened to an outsider to tell you who you are.

But if there’s one thing I can tell you about yourself, it’s that you are the void. You are everything. But you act like the opposite. Nothing. But you know why. As i’ve said before, that feeling always comes from somewhere. And it’s not coming from inside the house, it’s coming from the outside. And you keep letting it in. Doors wide open, arms wide open and mouth wide open when you realise you didn’t get what you wanted. How…familiar? You’ve been living this on loop for years.

“S-s-so h-how d-do I s-s-s-s-stop-p g-gos-s-sip-p g-g-g-irl?🥺 I-I’m s-so h-h-help-pless-s-s a-and-d c-c-an’t-t p-pers-sist t-to s-save m-my li-ife. *sucks thumb in stupidity*” …

You know what i’m going to tell you. Identify with your inner self, persist blah blah blah. And yes that is exactly what I would tell you. But this post is for the upper east siders who actually get the point. Now let me get to it. This post is about feeling that you are the void and the creator of your life. Want to induce pure consciousness? Want to wake up “there” in the void? Want to exercise your full power? This is how.

Break out of all bounds created by your human limitations. Want to know why you manifest instantly “in” the void state? Because that’s when you are purely just you. In that state, you are purely you. That is who you truly are. And that is the who I am talking about when I say the “inner self”. Completely detached from the physical world. And that is who you go back to every time you imagine. That is who has it.

Now I want to help you intensify this feeling, make it easier to navigate. Really understand it. Making your desires feel less “out of reach” and “extraordinary”. It’ll help you make your desires feel a lot more natural to you, including inducing the void state and waking up in it. In your purest state. Here’s how.

DO IT NOW:

Close your eyes. Focus on just being. Focus on just being aware. Being conscious. Focus on feeling limitless. Free from all physical “limitations”. Now focus on feeling all powerful. Feel that you can do absolutely anything, feel anything, create anything. That is the real you. Not the outer you.

Infact, there is no “outer you”. There is only the inner you. The outer you is your physical body, the one who is being perceived by others. The inner you can only be perceived by you. Can only be defined by you. And only you.

This is the feeling I meant to talk about when I said “go back to imagination and start with the feeling that you can have whatever you want there.”

Start with this feeling that you are limitless and powerful. Feel that you are the void. Remember who you are, and then imagine whatever you want. That is when you become unstoppable.

I’ve given you all the information you need. Now it’s all on you. What are you going to do? Who are you going to be? XOXO

- gossip girl

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

[bramblebeau]

Alright I told myself I wouldn't interact with fandom when s2 came out, and I haven't and don't plan to except to say this about people deciding Caitlyn is the Worst or that the writing is OOC.

As someone who has had a family member violently killed, I cannot stress how much it shakes up everything you thought you were and stood for. My beliefs in proportionate compassionate justice and the rights of all human beings are some of the strongest I have (stronger now because of the way that experience affected me personally), but they were pushed to the absolute limit when it came to an individual who had killed my loved one, showed no remorse, and laughed in our faces outside court, among other things.

People generally like to believe it wouldn't be them or their peace-loving family members being talked down from seriously considering violent revenge, consequences be damned. People like to believe they wouldn't lash out at people closest to them under that pressure, that they wouldn't build walls around the kindest and most sensitive parts of themselves because those parts are the ones feeling pain you never thought possible, that they wouldn't stalk the killer, make notes on all their family and friends, and fuck up their hands punching walls in anger wishing so badly it was flesh and bone because they can't handle the fact that there's no way to turn back time to stop it all from happening. People like to think they're "better" than that. But the reality is messy and painful as hell.

With Caitlyn, she has the added guilt of having actually had the opportunity to stop Jinx before she fired the rocket, but she hesitated just long enough for it to result in the deaths of her mother and other councillors and in the cities being plunged into chaos. Not only that, but the person close to her she's lashing out at is the person who caused her to hesitate, and just so happens to be the sister of the killer.

Furthermore, her behaviour is entirely in character. We have seen her set up as someone who becomes obsessed with achieving a goal and will do pretty much anything she wants to get there. In S1, we agreed with her methods because her goal was exposing and taking down Silco, and because it led to Vi being released. In S2, she's doing a similar thing but it's fuelled by fear and a type of pain she doesn't know how to deal with, rather than being fuelled by a need to prove herself and solve a case, and it leads to her making morally questionable decisions and to hurting Vi. She admits herself, albeit privately to Vi, that she does not know what she's doing and doesn't know how to fill this hole in her chest (and the hole in the city leadership). She has been sheltered from the real world for almost all her life, and as a result she has no experience of functioning or making decisions under this kind of pressure. The real world blew up in her face in the worst way and she was given power and a loaded rifle, and then shoved into an even more elevated position by a very experienced warlord who is manipulating the shit out of the whole situation.

I'm not saying that you have free rein to hurt people when you're grieving and facing extreme stress. (If you think that's what I'm saying then idk I'm not sure there's much hope for you in terms of critical thinking skills). What I'm saying is that Caitlyn is exhibiting pretty normal human behaviour that most people would be susceptible to in those circumstances, not the behaviour of someone who is some kind of heartless abusive bastard.

TLDR: Caitlyn is being written in a way that completely makes sense and is also not OOC, and if someone told me there would be no chance of them reacting in similar ways I simply would not believe them.

[seraph5]

Now that I've listened to Re: Dracula I feel like I've been weirdly spoiled for a lot of other Draculas. Like don't get me wrong there's a lot of Dracula's out there to like but there was something really beguiling about:

a) Mina and Lucy's quite modern musings about their place in the world, the beginnings of wonderings about what they might like or could like as people not just as what society demands

b) Mina and Lucy's relationship. I just adore that they are surprisingly different characters and interact in a very realistic interesting way that you don't see a lot in media that depicts this time period. I also love how intelligent Mina is.

c) The absolute intensity of the bond and duty our heroes find themselves drawn into when put in this horrific situation. It really surprised and struck me the way that all these people with not extremely deep connections in a lot of cases closed ranks together in a silent fight to protect not just themselves but to break the cycle of evil. They, all of them, really showed a tremendous amount of care and kindness towards each other in this insane mission. Obviously it would have been nice if the boys had been less dumb about including Mina in things but their follies in that area were clearly a result of the time they lived in and not a fundamental personal lack of respect for mina.

d) I know everyone does not see this interpretation but I like that there is a quasi-homoeric undertone to Dracula and Johnathan's whole thing. Of course Johnathan is there under duress and I'm certainly not saying that there is something consensual or reciprocal going on but Dracula being so possessive of him especially with the brides gives an interesting undertone to some of the earlier parts of the book. There is a real sort of fascination Dracula seems to have for him as a conduit for information about his next conquest and he really tries to connect with him through the guise of society.

I haven't really ever seen all these points illustrated very strongly in other retellings or if it's there it doesn't communicate that feeling that makes these missed points so special. Worse it seems like a lot of the time they make really weird choices like merging characters or swapping characters or cutting characters for brevity or excitement. Which on one hand I kind of understand but when given the space the characters all have their own interesting points and perspectives and are interesting to experience.

I'd love to see a retelling that balanced all these things a little more and cut less. Maybe even have it be a mini series rather than a movie.

[superblysubpar]

OKAY OKAY OKAY YES?!?!? Like the parallels between them all?!

And it also works the other way too?! Like if it wasn't "flipped" and they truly are upside right on their side, just parallel to the real side?

Like Max is Nancy's place and hello? Yes? Are they not the same person in terms of not fitting the mold being thrust on her, grieving and haunted by a death, and so so so capable of so much and so strong? And also that whole scene even at the end of s4 with Nancy sawing the gun? And the don't miss from Max and Nancy's I won't miss?!

Then that would be Erica where Eddie is and again? Hello?! Lady Applejack & Eddie the Banished?! Thrust into this group. The Dnd. The speak their mind no matter what. The sarcasm. THE LITERALLY BEING HUNTED BY THE JOCKS???? Erica standing up for Eddie and Hellfire at the town meeting? ERICA FIXING LUCAS' WEAPON AND LAYING OUT THE FACTS WHILE EDDIE MAKES SURE DUSTIN ALSO HEARS THE FACTS?!

OKAY. NOW HEAR ME OUT ABOUT THE LUCAS/ROBIN & DUSTIN/STEVE POSITIONS

Not only. Do we have the whole Lucas with Max and Dustin liking her in S2 too and the whole sort of Robin befriending Nancy Steve weird love triangle that isn't a love triangle on Robin's end but Nancy doesn't know that BUT

I truly think Robin and Lucas have more in common than I ever realized. Especially if you think about Lucas trying to hide his nerdy/Dnd side in S4. He just wants to get through high school and fit in and be cool and I mean Robin is literally hiding this huge part of herself and sort of doing the same? Granted she's not a jock and doesnt seem to hide her nerdy side, but I do think the parallels are there. And I think they're both under utilized and smarter than the group gives them credit for (let's just remember that Lucas is the one who does confirm and find out El was lying in S1 and that the Lab is the reason the compass is malfunctioning - see Robin decoding the secret message S3 - in S2 I feel like I could go on about how he stands in front of Max with a weapon - in line with the adults protecting their kid behind them - which just makes me think about Robin staying back with Steve to save two kids she barely knows - and S3 he's the reason they have the fireworks to help fight/distract which makes me think of Robin and the molotov cocktails (see also Lucas and his wrist rocket) ). BUT ALSO SEASON 4 AND THE STATE OF THEIR LOVE LIVES SEEMING VASTLY UNIMPORTANT IN THE STATE OF THE WORLD BUT STILL -

I feel like I need a whole other post about Steve and Dustin to really get into it but 😅 I think when we look at them in the show, we are supposed to think they're completely opposite of each other's characters. Dustin one of the smartest, Steve one of the dumbest. Dustin a nerd. Steve a jock. But in reality, they have a lot of the same characteristics and even mannerisms? Idk. I think they represent the parts of each other that they want to be. And they're both a voice of reason for their groups, even if it's not always listened to immediately or even left out of the group for a bit (see Max going to Dustin after not getting Lucas or Nancy and the kids always looking for El or Nancy and ending up with Steve), but even so they're not afraid to put their lives on the line for the rest of the party - no hesitation when it actually comes down to protecting.

Anyways my brain hurts and I need to go to bed but I also need to rewatch the entire show and analyze this further??????

STRANGER THINGS | 4.07 “The Massacre at Hawkins Lab”

[mythalism]

my #1 complaint with veilguard is probably the lack of moral complexity and maturity and how much of northern thedas is sanitized and almost all issues (outside of solas and mythal, which they knocked out of the park imo, but the moral complexity of them as characters and of their relationship makes the lack of nuance in every other faction and relationship stand out even worse) are presented as black and white, good vs. evil. i think the absence of the presence of slavery in northern thedas is the most egregious example of this. the crows are found-family heroes with absolutely no mention of the fact that they canonically populate their ranks with abused elven child slaves and kill them if they try to escape. we know minrathous to be the capital of a massive empire that was built and founded on slave labor and blood magic. the slave trade is baked into every single stone of that city, and it should be everywhere in a disenfranchised area like docktown. and yet.... its nowhere? its like they went, "okay well the factions all need to be GOOD and slavery is BAD so lets just pretend it doesnt exist so we dont have to talk about the way these factions have historically participated in it!" a few codex entries? a few mentions of freeing slaves by the shadow dragons and by solas but its never actually depicted? i think its something a lot of people have picked up on in accusations of the game feeling like something made by marvel or disney, and a lot of people are attributing that mostly to the art style and cheugy dialogue, but i honestly think it is the very simplistic and juvenile presentation of what should be complex issues diluted down to the sort of hero vs. villain, good vs. evil no-nuance conflicts that is creating that juvenile feeling, rather than the art style. past games have always had cheesy-ass dialogue and the graphics have never been the highlight of the game, but neither had the same feeling of playing something incredibly glossy but also incredibly shallow, especially in a franchise that is famed for its complex and nuanced (though, often poorly done and racist - looking at you qunari and dalish) depictions of sociopolitical issues through a fantasy lens.

but whats especially interesting is that the artbook (just the first 50 pages that are free) reveals that... this was present in the early stages of the game. the concept art of tevinter is full of disturbing depictions of slavery, as is the concept art of arlathan. now, to be clear, slavery is not a morally complex or ambiguous issue. slavery in fantasy is often depicted in ways that is damaging and problematic, especially when written by people who have no real understanding of it and its lasting effects on a group of people. bioware has been guilty of this in the past.

however, i think it is the best example of the shallowness of veilguard when compared to both the past games and the concept art. other examples, however, include literally the Qun as a whole suddenly being UNAMBIGUOUSLY EVIL combined with, imo, a super racist depiction of the antaam as mindless and animalistic, absolutely no exploration of racism against elves other than like, one mention from davrin in a game that is basically all about elves, blood magic being unambiguously evil rather than exploring how it is being used and for what purposes, the complete absence of the mage-templar mass incarceration and mass-lobotimization conflict, isseya being afforded none of the empathy that solas is given and instead presented as unambiguously evil and deserves to die, the grey wardens being heroes who definitely do not manipulate disenfranchised people into escaping their lives to join an order that will steal their bodies and eventually their minds and futures from them, and much more. going from a world that was so willing to at least ATTEMPT to depict the horrors of empires that utilized slave labor to build, the way dehumanization facilitates and interacts with these issues, violent class disparities and how poverty forces people into crime, the effects of institutionalized racism even after slavery has been legally abolished, with stories like that of varania and fenris, of zevran and taliesin, to.... finally going to the site of the horrors they faced and to find it to be completely sanitized? and yes, they did not always land, and i have a lot of issues with their execution of some of these representations (the option to give fenris back to danarius and having anders approve??????? HELLO?), but at least they TRIED to tell a story about a man recovering from the trauma of something so horrible and learning to trust again. so what happened in the middle? were they afraid of their own ability to handle the topic due to past criticism instead of attempting to learn from it? instead we are just going to pretend like it doesnt exist? we're not going to talk about it? its literally the most insane elephant in the room. of course fenris and zevran couldn't make cameos in this game, because then they'd have to make a statement on a painful, real, and difficult to discuss topic that actually means something, instead of using a warehouse full of elves being guarded by armed police at the docks as a hollywood-style backlot and depict an empire built on the blood sacrifices of the poor and enslaved as just another fun little area to explore. how does neve fight for the people of docktown but slavery literally never comes up in her story????? we know that blood magic exists but we never see who is being disproportionately used for those blood sacrifices?

i think its especially interesting considering how explicitly supportive of trans people this game is, which is fantastic and i admire bioware deeply for making such a strong and unapologetic statement of their values of acceptance. but that strong statement makes the lack of any other strong statements or exploration of issues even mildly contentious (again, slavery is not even a contentious issue, and i think that's why their fear to depict it at all, much less as unambiguously horrifying, is so insane) leaves the world of northern thedas feeling so shallow and sterile. it is as if bioware doesnt trust me to engage with topics like an adult capable of using critical thinking skills, and did not trust themselves to depict these issues like adults capable of critical thinking skills either. maybe, considering the presence of these things in the artbook, this was on EA for pushing for more mass-market appeal, or maybe it was really the bioware devs backing away from difficult topics due to a lack of confidence to do them justice. idk. but its really disappointing to me

[biancadoes1]

I cannot for the life of me believe that N and L are in serious relationships with other people. Let’s just go with the narrative that they are. JD and A are serious players in this game. Why would N and L do the following unhinged things?:

The entire world tour (butt pinching, more-than-PR flirting, the LOOKS, never shutting down dating rumors or saying they are “just friends”)

”I don’t have a relationship with anyone in my life like I do with Luke” - Nic talking about her connection to Luke who agreed with her. A relationship so deep and meaningful that even if she was in a serious relationship it’s more important? She constantly said how important he was to her. That’s not a PR answer by any means.

”There is real love there” - Nic in response to shipping and fans wanting them together. What we saw was real and she confirmed it countless times. They could have said “we love each other on a deep friendship level.” Not once did we ever hear either of them really clarify their relationship, still to this day months later.

”A lot of people want me to marry Luke.” They are telling me she is bringing up Luke in her TIMES article when she could’ve deflected to Polin, but she was in a serious relationship with a 24 year old??? Like… for real??? That’s literally CRAZY. No way would either partner be OK with something like that. Unless they aren’t at play or serious.

Time and time again they say that they’re single, both during the WT and then reinforced after. What would’ve shut down dating rumors would have been one or both letting their teams make a statement saying they are in a relationship with other people, never naming who they are with. It would keep their private life private, but stop all speculation. Even after the WT and 90 days of part 2 on Netflix, we have yet to hear anything like that. How Corey and India handled shipping was very professional and shit things down with respect to Corey’s girlfriend. That could have been used, but wasn’t. It wouldn’t have affected the season at all because the chemistry is intense regardless of relationship status.

Luke at her house while Nic was getting ready for the Glamour event. Nobody can tell me those weren’t Luke’s hands. THEY WERE! Yet no one can give a valid explanation as to why if they are in serious relationships with other people.

Okay, so these are just things I could think of without digging deeper into my brain. These are all facts (maybe except the hands, but nobody can convince me those aren’t his hands). In these times of silence I feel that a lot of people need these reminders sometimes.

No notes.

[pinkeoni]

Why I Think Will is the "Sorcerer"

When I first saw the episode titled "Sorcerer" way back when the episode titles first leaked, I immediately associated it with Will. But of course I did, considering he is my favorite character after all. But I do have more evidence to back this up other than favorite character bias.

Wizard as Sorcerer

For some of the international episode titles in other languages, the title for "Sorcerer" is occasionally translated to "Wizard." (sometimes it is translated as "Magician" but the general idea of a magic wielder is still there) It has also been noted that in some gendered languages, such as German and Italian, that the word takes on its masculine form. Thank you to @bylrndgm for your help with this! (Edit: adding this post)

It is true that Wizard and Sorcerer are two separate DnD classes, but I think it important to also consider the broader definition and understanding of "sorcerer" outside of just it's DnD definition.

There are multiple definitions that can be found online that refer to a sorcerer as a wizard.

"a person who practices sorcery: wizard" - Merriam-Webster

"Magical, mysterious, and quite possibly mythical, a sorcerer is a name for a spell-casting wizard." - Vocabulary.com

"a person who practices sorcery; black magician; wizard." -Dictionary.com

"a person who practices sorcery : a wizard or warlock" - The Britannica Dictionary

"One who practices sorcery; a wizard." - The Free Dictionary

So I think it is reasonable to see why so many, including myself, immediately associated Will with the sorcerer title— Sorcerers and wizards are heavily associated with each other and are oftentimes used interchangeably.

Since episode 1, Will has been closely tied with wizards. From his DnD character Will the Wise, to the password of Castle Byers referring to a fictional wizard, to dressing up as a wizard, to Will's depiction as a wizard making it into his painting of foreshadowing, the wizard status has followed Will throughout the seasons.

But wait, isn't Will a cleric and not a wizard?

Well yes... and no.

The one reference to Will being a cleric in the show is the one scene where Mike tells Max all of the party members' roles in the group. Here, I do not think he is referring to their DnD roles (even though some of them do share these titles with their characters) but rather, he is referring to their role in the real world using DnD classes. El is assigned as a mage, despite not having a DnD character of her own. The mage title refers to El's real position as a user of magical powers, and Will's cleric title refers to his connection to an otherworldly plane. "Clerics are intermediaries between the mortal world and the distant plane of the gods." from Dnd Beyond. Despite Will's label as a cleric, he is still heavily associated with wizards as well, and thus sorcerers.

The DnD descricption for sorcerers does seem to match Will as well, however. One defining element of a sorcerer, as described by DnD Beyond, is how they acquired their powers, which is either through "an exotic bloodline" or "exposure to unknown cosmic forces." "Is it a family curse, passed down to you from some distant ancestors? Or did some extraordinary event leave you blessed with inherent magic but perhaps scarred as well?"

I believe that Will has some sort of untapped powers that originate from his trip to the Upside Down in season one, which is why we are getting flashbacks to his time there, as has been indicated in behind the scenes material. I also have a more detailed post on why I believe that Will has powers here.

I don't think El is the "Sorcerer," but I do think it could also refer to Vecna

There are a couple of reasons why I do not believe that the title of sorcerer refers to El. The first being the use of masculine articles which I described above, and the second is that high fantasy imagery does not typically follow El the way it does Will. El is usually encased in science fiction tropes and imagery, and gets the title "Superhero" in relation to her powers rather than "Sorcerer" or "Wizard" or "Magician."

I do, however, acknowledge that Vecna has been referred to as a "dark wizard" by Dustin within the show, and has acquired his powers in a similar way that Will has re: the stage play. I think it is possible that the moniker "Sorcerer" could refer to both Vecna and Will, considering how closely they are connected and how they seem to be intentional foils of each other.