#and even if the Paradox Pokémon were in there’s no chance of the Proto Beasts or Neo Swords being in

[fierykitten2]

For the sake of this post, I’m gonna count Wake and Leaves as Mythical, making Zeraora my third-favourite Mythical (I tend to count it as my favourite just because Wake and Leaves aren’t officially Mythical. Well, they’re counted under “special Pokémon” in HOME and given that the rest of their trios (who have the same base stat totals as them) aren’t, I think HOME probably meant they count under the Mythical category for being event-exclusive rather than counting under the Special Legendary category for being super strong Legendaries) because apparently calling Wake and Leaves my top two favourite Pokémon wasn’t good enough. Anyway, official sources kinda suggest that my favourite Mythical Iron Leaves is probably at odds in some way with both my second-favourite Mythical Walking Wake (the two of them being the only featured Pokémon in the Paradox Clash tins plus the Temporal Forces release trailer featuring the two of them walking up to each other and starting a fight) and my third-favourite Mythical Zeraora (out of a pair of an Electric-type cat and a Grass/Psychic-type deer related to one of the Swords of Justice, one of them is basically the Swords of Justice but humanoid and not-Fighting (there are a few other differences. I was gonna list another and then realised I’d already implied which that was by listing their animal inspirations) and the other one uses Electric Terrain to gain a boost to its highest stat (usually physical Attack) on top of boosting its signature move. Take a wild guess which is which)

[fierykitten2]

I had a meme I wanted to make this morning but I couldn’t find the right template so you get this mess instead (me making the meme template myself instead of finding one online). Here is “would my favourite (headcanon) Smash friendship group plus the guys I want in Smash play God” feat Falcon, Samus, Fox, Mewtwo, Lucario, Robert, the Proto Beasts and the Neo Swords

I decided I would scale everyone the same based on how tall the pngs were which results in some unusual height discrepancies, probably the most unusual one being (best F-Zero racer) Robert being the same height as (best Pokémon) Iron Leaves (bare in mind the average Iron Leaves is 1.5 metres aka 4’11” and a demo version of GX listed Falcon’s height as 1.9 metres aka (approximately) 6’3” (I’ll be honest up to a point I prefer to measure height in feet and inches so I only memorised Falcon’s height in feet and inches I just made the corrections after visiting the F-Zero Facts wiki. Only reason I know Leaves’s height in both systems is because I realised its exactly 2 metres shorter than Wake and at some point I discovered it’s the same height as Meowscarada, Delphox and Armarouge, all of which I know are 4’11”) plus Falcon and Robert tend to be around the same height, even SNES-era when Pico and Goroh were much smaller. Admittedly height isn’t very consistent in F-Zero, GX shows Goroh is taller than Falcon but if I trust that demo information Goroh should still be shorter than Falcon. Also that demo listed everyone as a year older than they actually are in GX so it’s probably not supposed to be taken seriously. I still like the idea of having a debatably-canon height for Falcon if anyone knows what that demos says about Robert’s height I’m interested hang on I found a link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVaN9gi9BTk&t=476s it’s at 8:18 but I can’t read anything about a height and don’t even know if that information is on there (if this part sounds rushed, tumblr reloaded twice and both times it went back to “debatably-canon” and I had to start again just because I dared to be interested in the F-Zero Facts Wiki. I’m now taking steps to avoid that problem by saving this as a draft every so often) hang on, I don’t think it mentions his height bc I’ve seen where it’s supposed to be from Goroh and Falcon’s fact files but Robert’s one is shorter)

To explain the second and third tiers, Samus and Fire’s tier means they can’t play God because they lack anything like Falcon’s belt, Robert’s medical knowledge and Mewtwo and the Neo Swords’ psychic abilities but would willingly play God if given the chance and means to do it while Crown’s tier means it can play God it just thinks sometimes it’s best to let nature take its course (ironically for a robot and not even the Grass-type of its trio, in fact it’s the Steel-type. If anything it’s the least natural (okay given Cobalion is also part Steel that part’s probably not true))

Yeah I think Leaves and Boulder are both quite impulsive just in different ways (Leaves in a “manic pixie dream girl” way and Boulder in a “tough guy” way, both gender-neutral. Fun fact, I made another meme about these twelve where I called Leaves a manic pixie dream girl but the post never made it out because I didn’t like my way of pointing out for some of the categories I didn’t take the entire category seriously, just the core details (specifically Leaves being female being implied by “manic pixie dream girl” and Falcon and Robert implied to be parents by “big titty dilf”. I’m less defensive against the whole Falcon and Robert being parents thing because I accept it is possible especially if you believe that Kent isn’t just doing it for attention and given how mysterious the Maximum Velocity gang is, I think he’s just doing it for attention. Speaking of the Maximum Velocity gang being mysterious, they should meet some Paradox Pokémon. Anyway I take the whole “genderless/gender unknown” category of Pokémon a lot more seriously than I should (I’m still calling Cosmog’s line and the Hero Duo genderless even though their Pokédex entries suggest Lunala and Zacian are female and Solgaleo and Zamazenta are male) and especially given Virizion is also listed as genderless (again in a sort of “we don’t have the means to study this Pokémon” way) I can’t see Leaves as anything other than genderless)) and they’d both be ready to play God if they felt like it. Leaves is literally a Grass-type it has an advantage here (uhh, in playing God. I swear I didn’t start a random conversation with myself resulting in me talking about who would win between Leaves and Boulder. That kind of stuff happens irl, it doesn’t happen in my posts)

[fierykitten2]

Since it’s Valentine’s Day and Robert is one of a few characters I want in Smash, here’s me imagining what a Smash Valentine’s Day would be like if Robert, Ayumi, the Proto Beasts, the Neo Swords and the Mach Rider were in Smash. For the sake of this post, I’m saying the Mach Rider is female because I like that option the best

Falcon tried to get up early to make drinks for himself and Robert but failed because he’s not an early bird (unless there happens to be an F-Zero race that morning) and despite Falcon running in, Robert still beats him to the kitchen to make drinks. Falcon gets surprisingly flustered when Robert gives him his usual very strong coffee. Robert pretends to think Falcon overexerted himself by running there. Falcon is unable to get a break from the shipping from the other fighters for the rest of the day

Seemingly very few fighters actually seem to be aware of the fact it’s Valentine’s Day and those that do include one person whose birthday is Valentine’s Day (Robert), one person from the same universe as the guy whose birthday is Valentine’s Day (Falcon) and four Psychic-type Pokémon (Mewtwo and the Neo Swords). The people who always spend each morning trying to guess what colour Ayumi’s decided to dye her hair today (I’ve kinda been assuming this group consists of at least Ganondorf, Ridley, Sephiroth and Kazuya and maybe occasionally any combination of Daisy, Bowser and Pichu) make random guesses but none of them correctly guess that her hair will be pink. Robert (who joins the conversation just in time to have Ayumi referred to as his daughter in response to him asking what the conversation is about. He knows she’s not his daughter but at this point, anytime someone refers to his “daughter” he knows they’re referring to Ayumi because they happen to share a surname) does correctly guess her hair will be pink. The group trying to guess get annoyed at him for cheating because he happens to be friends with all four Psychic-types even though it’s still so early in the morning he hasn’t actually seen the four of them yet (and they’re all preparing the hall for his birthday anyway so they’ve been too busy to talk to him anyway)

Wake and Leaves spend a lot of their free time cuddling. Fire and Boulder listen to heavy metal together in private and probably smoke some of the Herba Mystica Leaves grows in their free time. Bolt and Crown just exist around each other in their free time. These are (probably) their love languages

Half of the non-humans (not including fighters that look so humanoid they would easily be mistaken for one by someone who doesn’t know much about their universe e.g. the Inklings) decide to come together and annoy the Mach Rider by pretending to flirt with her (probably led by Mewtwo). She’s not impressed and ends up being the main cause of Robert having to do surgery on his birthday

The Proto Beasts and Neo Swords (among others) decorate the hall (both for Valentine’s Day and for Robert’s birthday). Leaves leaves Wake alone (not even alone because the two of them weren’t the only ones there) for 3 seconds just to invite Falcon and Ayumi to help them out and returns to find Wake’s accidentally wrapped itself up in bunting. Mewtwo is also in the Hall decorating it and uses any chance it can get to prank the Neo Swords (it’s annoyed it’s no longer the only Psychic-type Pokémon in Smash) while Lucario keeps a very close eye on the Proto Beasts and Neo Swords (he’s very suspicious of Paradox Pokémon)

Back in the F-Zero Universe (in the least creepy-sounding way) Robert has a secret admirer who always sends him a card on his birthday (maybe also chocolates). He gets it again and realised the only person his secret admirer could be (without some multiversal travel stuff going on) is Falcon

Wake’s habit of randomly asking Leaves the definition of words/phrases with sexual connotations much to almost everyone else’s embarrassment increases (Bolt still thinks Wake is stupid for not knowing these terms)

Samus does seriously try getting the Mach Rider’s attention but at this point the Mach Rider has been bullied so much by the non-humans of Smash in a similar way she doesn’t take Samus’s attempt at flirting seriously. Also Samus’s attempts at flirting are either so forced or so unidentifiable as flirting (at least to anyone outside the Metroid Universe) that she probably wouldn’t have been taken particularly seriously by anyone anyway (I do ship Samus more seriously with Madeline by the way I just don’t see a situation where Madeline joins Smash. I also ship both Samus and the Mach Rider with Falcon but this is imagining a situation where Robert who I ship much more seriously with Falcon is also in Smash. I wouldn’t call this pairing the spares because I ship Samus and the Mach Rider anyway but I guess it does technically count as that. FalconxSamusxMachRider threesome anyone?)

Fox and Falco hang out together again and attempt to avoid the couple allegations. It’s even harder this time because of Falcon and Robert (whose machine names perfectly sum up Falco and Fox respectively so everyone assumes they’re more direct counterparts of the two of them from the F-Zero Universe or something)

Mewtwo manages to sneak some Sweet Apples and Tart Apples (evolutionary items for Applin) in and uses them on Lucario’s spikes when he’s sleeping instead of random apples

[fierykitten2]

(Tumblr arranged them like that automatically, I didn’t realise the remaining Neo Swords would be together on one line with no one else and the Proto Beasts would do the same when I selected them) it’s Future Paradox Pokémon Pride Drawings Part 2, Past Paradox Pokémon Edition! Oh yeah I should probably say in order (because I think only Boulder and Wake are obvious): Iron Boulder’s horn (and some of its body), Iron Crown’ horns, Walking Wake’s mane and part of its horn, Gouging Fire’s smoke tail (with a scratch mark in the background), Raging Bolt’s mane, Sandy Shocks’s Mohawk iron fillings, Terapagos’s tail (Terastal form)

Yeah so basically when I did this last year I did the Future Paradox Pokémon up to and including Leaves plus Honorary Future Paradox Pokémon Ceruledge. I decided I wanted to do Boulder and Crown because I didn’t get the chance to do them last year (bc they weren’t known to the public then) as well as Wake, which I decided later on was also an “Honorary Future Paradox Pokémon” and I made a joke recently about Shocks being a robot so it’s also an “Honorary Future Paradox Pokémon”. I felt bad about including Boulder, Crown and Wake (as well as Leaves last year) without including Fire and Bolt so they’re here too. Also Terapagos because Rainbow Turtle

The “rules” I made last year for this still apply this year - the outlines are in the light pen even though it doesn’t look good and I originally did it because the Future Paradox Pokémon (and Ceruledge) have glowing energy panels, which makes no sense for at least four of the seven Pokémon here, the colours on the rainbow part of the flag are from my pallet of Future Paradox Pokémon theme colours (Red Treads Orange Moth Yellow Hands Green Thorns Blue Bundle Purple Jugulis. Probably could’ve gone with Boulder for orange and Crown for blue but I either didn’t think of that or decided not to) and the colours for the rest of the flag are just colour-picked from the Miraidon one from last year, the Future Paradox Pokémon have sparkles on top of their flags because of the effects on their lights

I decided to do something slightly different with the Past Paradox Pokémon because they don’t have any lights to change to Pride Progress flags so Wake and Bolt have streaks of hair in the colours of the flag, Fire has an airbrush overlay because I decided to draw its smoke tail thing and while I wanted to have it so the tips of Shocks’s iron fillings were rainbow coloured I instead ended up going for paint splatters instead. I’m not too proud of how the Past Paradox Pokémon turned out because I ran out of space for the colours of the triangle part for Wake, didn’t leave myself any space for them with Bolt and the dark brown part is basically invisible on Shocks

The backgrounds for Boulder, Crown, Fire and Bolt are paler than I wanted to make them because they were too bright (I’m not saying Crown and Bolt’s aren’t a decent brightness now but I tried)

I’m not turning this into a tradition, this is just because there are more Future Paradox Pokémon now than there were a year ago

[fierykitten2]

After another visit to HMV with nothing particularly interesting there (although I ran into two of my friends shopping for birthday gifts there) I’ve decided to check out their online store. Unfortunately the stuff I want (Walking Wake Elite Trainer Box to match my Iron Leaves one and Iron Boulder and Raging Bolt tins to match my Gouging Fire and Iron Crown ones (plus my Walking Wake and Iron Leaves ones too)) are randomly selected when purchased and I don’t want duplicates (of course Bolt being my sixth favourite of the six of them does kinda make it feel like its chances are elevated while Boulder being the least popular in theory could make it more likely to be selected if less people are buying it in-person. That exact logic is working against me for the Walking Wake Elite Trainer box but oh well) so I guess I’ll have to rely on the hope that they have them in-store again some day (I’ve seen the Raging Bolt tin in there once. It was the day I bought my Gouging Fire and Iron Crown tins and I didn’t think it made sense to buy three tins and a plushie besides those were the only tins there and I wanted to leave at least one for other people plus because there wasn’t an Iron Boulder one I thought I should leave one of the Past Paradox tins for the time being and hope they have it at a later date alongside the Iron Boulder tin. I think I’ve made it clear by this point that I prefer Fire to Bolt so my decision wasn’t difficult plus its oddly fun pairing up Fire and Crown. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before how those two frequently seem to get paired up in general (even if most of that is my fault/all in my head in some way). Plus the only predominately physical Proto Beast and the only predominantly special Neo Sword. I kinda can’t resist pairing them up myself sometimes). Hoping there’s a big HMV in London that has more Pokémon stuff and I can go there for a day at some point (its been too long since I’ve been there anyway I want to go back)

In other news I wasn’t expecting the first “Big Four” (Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax and Slayer) song or to be fair any metal song not by Judas Priest or Iron Maiden I listened to in months to be Blood Red by Slayer but they were playing that on the upstairs floor probably less than a minute after I saw my friends on the downstairs floor

[fierykitten2]

There are a few reasons I don’t expect there to be a Past Paradox Ho-Oh and Future Paradox Keldeo:

The number of Paradox Pokémon in either set is currently 11, the same amount as there are Ultra Beasts (and it’s clear the Paradox Pokémon take heavy inspiration from the UBs)

Ho-Oh and Keldeo don’t work as counterparts in the same way Suicune and Virizion, Entei and Terrakion and Raikou and Cobalion do - Ho-Oh’s a Legendary based off a bird that leads the Legendary Beasts as an external trio master while Keldeo’s a Mythical based off a unicorn that is technically part of the Swords of Justice but only has a 50% chance of being included

I don’t think we’re getting any more major updates for Scarlet and Violet and even if we did, it would probably just be one Movie Mythical and that’s it

I do think that from an in-universe pov this implies stuff about the Proto Beasts and Neo Swords. Given they aren’t associated with a Past Paradox Ho-Oh or Future Paradox Keldeo, it’s probably fair to assume that the Proto Beasts and any Future Paradox Keldeo’s parents never died in a fire meaning the Proto Beasts were never revived by a Past Paradox Ho-Oh (does make you wonder why they’re still embodying the thunder, flames and rain from the incident but if they’re from a parallel universe, that’s probably just one of those funky coincidences) and the Neo Swords never took in a Future Paradox Keldeo (although being Psychic-types they probably know whether or not a Future Paradox Keldeo really exists) and I’ll be honest, it’s cool that Game Freak are trying to make sure that the Proto Beasts and Neo Swords, while still being tied to the legacy of alternate version of a Legendary Pokémon, aren’t just “what if the Legendary Beasts and Swords of Justice came from a different period of time?”. You can actually see in their stats that the largely-defensive Suicune, Virizion and Cobalion were turned into the largely-offensive Walking Wake, Iron Leaves and Iron Crown (heck, Crown’s superior defensive stat corresponds to Cobalion’s worst stat overall), the speedster Raikou was turned into Raging Bolt, who has the lowest speed of the six Paradox Legendaries, and the largely-(physical) offensive Entei and Terrakion became the only ones in their Paradox trios whose best stats aren’t an attacking stat (Gouging Fire is defense, Iron Boulder is speed). Plus I still see Iron Leaves as the leader of the Neo Swords I don’t care Game Freak clearly intends for it to be Crown have you seen the key artwork for Cyber Judge?