#and even He will fade away
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THE NARRATOR - You close your eyes, and for a moment, it feels like you're a part of the whole world, and the whole world is a part of you.
this might be the only time in all of Slay the Princess that the Long Quiet isn't likened to "Nothing at all." and it comes from the Narrator, during Apotheosis, when the Long Quiet has already picked up the Pristine Blade. it's simultaneously a pep talk and corrosive manipulation from a delusional man to a sapient entity he only views as the blade they're holding- it's conditional belief, conditional support, conditional love.
(Explore) "I chose to make Her a princess? Why couldn't I have made things easier on myself and picked something small or weak like an ant or a slice of bread?"
THE NARRATOR - Are you asking me to spend my last moments psychoanalyzing you? Sigh. Whatever you viewed her as needed to map on some level to what she was. You couldn't just pick something arbitrary and beneath you. I don't know why you settled on a princess, specifically, but clearly a princess is what you wanted. Maybe she needed to be beautiful. Important. Above you, but on a level you could still approach. A herald of things to come. I don't know. Gods are supposed to be beyond comprehension. I really shouldn't try and anthropomorphize you like this.
That final line is part of why the Narrator treats the Long Quiet so horribly and coldly throughout the game. He fundamentally only sees It and Shifty as the abstract concepts They are. He sees Quiet as a tool, a living weapon He forged for one sole purpose: to slay the Princess. He sees Himself (and all mortal, "real" living beings) as "more important" than It. That's partial narcissism and partial dehumanization on His part.
(Explore) "If you made us, then I want you to know this has been torture."
THE NARRATOR - The inevitability of death is torture. I would gladly put two infinite beings through what you've been through to spare infinite lives from oblivion.
He treats The Long Quiet "poorly" for the same reason you'd be upset at, say, a pesticide for inviting a biblical-scale locust storm to your house, or a car for deciding to take you to Mordor instead of the library down the street. ...It's just in this case, both the pesticide and the locust storm are fully sapient, if eldritch, beings capable of suffering.
and that's why moments like His Echoes have in Happily Ever After are so gut-wrenching,
- I'm happy, I promise! We're both so, so happy here, you don't have to be upset! THE NARRATOR - This is… awful. [...] THE NARRATOR - This is the end for me, but not for you. I hope this was worth it. Genuinely, I do.
because He feels empathy, here. He recognizes their sapience and what the cost of his dream truly is. He's regretting what He's done to put them both through this, but ultimately, no amount of primer for Mr. Amnesiac will ever let Him see this way ever again. one reality among trillions where we He was "delusional" --- one reality among trillions where He cared.
TLQ technically has daddy issues if you think about it
#stp#slay the princess#stp narrator#stp the long quiet#the long quiet#yes narrator is the dad#bro was an awful father smh#he probably didn’t even realise he’s technically a father of a god#too hyper focused on saving the world for fatherhood </3#i start eating drywall if i think about this for too long#those fleeting moments of empathy#Quiet scrambling to find even a single moment He expressed an iota of care#“What are you? Are you something like me?”#telling Him he doubted Himself in the Mirror#He suffers so bad in the Tower-Apotheosis route#getting taken by Tower#the futile effort to stop Quiet from slaying themself at Her command#she calls Him a “greasy film”#but also that He's “shielding” Quiet from her#do you think it was all for the world's sake in that moment#do you think Quiet would care#if the alternative delusion#was that the Narrator wanted to protect them#Him describing the kiss with Thorn#lamenting the world's incoming end#how no one will GET to be inspired by the spark the two of them share#He is the only witness#and even He will fade away
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it's actually so nuts to me that no one across both shows objects to giving angel the gem of amarra even though it is obviously an objectively terrible plan on every level. yeah sure give the guy with an Evil Switch a ring that makes him invulnerable. that'll go well
#and then when he breaks it it's not even because he's worried about his capacity for evil???#it's because he uhhhh thinks it'll make him work only during the day and not at night???#even though he literally already mostly works during the day kfshsfsgsgh#buffy the vampire slayer#angel the series#it's what you do afterwards that counts#well love is love and not fade away#i kind of want to slay the dragon
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⭕️Hey Bones! Is it ok if you explain and/or elaborate how Crowfeather is abusive to Breezepelt if please?⭕️
I do KNOW that crowfeather is indeed, abusive to Breezepelt, due to the fact that he emotionally and/or physically neglected him - with child neglect being known to BE a form of child abuse - and I also heard that he slashed and/or hit him within one of the books, which I believe is in the book Outcast, in chapter 16.
But I also wish people would talk and be informed about it more within the fandom, because in the parts of the fandom I’ve known portrayed Crowfeather’s neglect on Breezepelt as negative and bad, but not in a way that made me think and/or feel: “Wow, that’s pretty bad. That’s…actually abusive.” I suppose? So I hope more people will talk about it more in that type of way.
Also, please be aware that I have NOT read PoT, OoTS, etc. or barely any warrior cats books, since the majority of the information I got from the series is from the wiki and the fandom, so that probably explains why I didn’t know this part of Crowfeather’s character is as bad as it actually is until now. Also, feel free to talk about Crowfeather’s abuse on Breezepelt I haven’t mentioned and/or don’t know right now as well if you want.
I’m SO sorry that if this ask is unintentionally quite long, and feel free to make sure to take all the time you need to answer it. Thank you!
OH LET'S GOOOO
Breezepelt is both physically and emotionally abused by Crowfeather. I'm not talking about only child neglect; he is screamed at, belittled, and even once hit on-screen.
The fact that Crowfeather both neglected and abused him is very important to the canonical story of Breezepaw. There's actually a lot more to this character than people remember! Even from his first appearances he displays good qualities, a strained relationship with his father and adult clanmates, and is clearly shown to be troubled before we understand why.
As many problems as I have with the direction of Breezepelt's arc (especially Crowfeather's Trial), his setup is legitimately a praiseworthy bit of writing from Po3 which carries over into OotS. To say that Breezepelt was not abused is to completely miss two arcs worth of books SCREAMING it.
BIG POST. Glossary;
INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River
ABUSE: Outcast, Social Alienation, the Tribe Journey.
DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.
For "brevity," I'm not getting into anything post-OotS. I'm just showing that Breezepelt was abused, the narrative wants you to know that he was abused, and that his status as a victim of child abuse is CENTRAL to understanding why he is training in the Dark Forest.
INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River
Our very first introduction to Breeze is when Jaypaw walks off a cliff in the first book of Po3 and is rescued by a WindClan patrol. He's making snarky remarks, and Whitetail and Crowfeather are not happy about it. Whitetail snaps for Crow to teach his son some manners, and Crow growls for Breezepaw to be quiet.
But our proper introduction to him is at his announcement gathering, when Heatherpaw playfully introduces him as a friend,
From the offset something's not entirely right here between Breezepaw and his father. He's cut off by Heatherpaw here, but he's touchy whenever his father is involved, and we're not entirely sure why.
Throughout Book 1, he's just rude, with a notable xenophobic streak. He's a bit of a mean rival character for Lionpaw, as they're both interested in the affections of Heatherpaw and make bids to get her attention, but nothing particularly violent yet.
He participates in the beloved Kitty Olympics and gets buried in liquid dirt with Lionpaw, basically a rite of passage for any arc.
(And Nightcloud has a cute moment where she watches over them until they fall asleep)
As the books progress, the relationship between Crow and Breeze visibly deteriorates. They start from being simply tense with each other in The Sight, to the open shouting and hitting we see in Outcast.
In the very first chapter of Dark River, we learn where his behavioral issues are really coming from;
Crowfeather.
Breezepelt is getting xenophobia from his father. Occasionally he says something bigoted and his dad will agree and chime in, and those are the only positive moments they have together.
(Note: In contrast, Nightcloud explicitly pushes back against xenophobia, chiding Breezepelt for his rudeness to Lionpaw in back in The Sight, Chapter 21. The Sight is the book where a lot of "evidence" that the Evil Overbearing Woman is actually responsible for the rift between father and son but. No. She's not. Though she can be overprotective; Crow and Breeze have a bad relationship when she's not even around in Breeze's first appearance and even his Crowfeather's Trial Epiphany refutes it. Anyway this post isn't about Nightcloud.)
So he starts acting on his bigotry, accusing cats in other Clans of stealing, running really close to the border. What's interesting though, is that this is not entirely his doing. The first time we get physical trouble from Breezepaw, DUSTPELT aggressed it. Breezepaw and Harepaw were just chasing a squirrel and hadn't yet gone over the border at all.
We learn that WindClan is teaching its apprentices how to hunt in woodland, and tensions between the two Clans is starting to escalate as ThunderClan isn't entirely trusting of their intentions.
The second time, fighting breaks out over him and Harepaw actually crossing the border and catching a squirrel. WindClan is adamant that because it came from their land, it's their squirrel. So it's as if Breezepaw is modelling the aggression around him, learning how to behave from the older warriors and his father.
When he joins Heatherpaw and The Three to go find Gorsetail's kits in the tunnels, he's grouchy towards the ThunderClan cats, but very gentle with the kittens. Notably so. When Thistlekit is dangerously cold, he cuddles up next to her, and even assures Swallowkit when she's scared,
Through this entire excursion, he's the one in the comforting roles for the kittens. Breezepaw is the one who is taking time to tell the kits they'll be okay, that he'll protect them, and physically supporting them when they're weak, even when he's terrified.
And it's always contrasted to Heatherpaw who's way more 'disciplined,' as a side note. It's a detail I'm just fond of.
All this to point out,
Breezepelt displays his best qualities when he's away from the older warriors of WindClan, and he's at his worst whenever he's near Crowfeather. Even while he's essentially just a bully character for The Three to deal with. He's gruff but cooperative when it's just him and Heatherpaw interacting with The Three, but mean when there is an adult to please.
We're getting to the on-screen abuse now, but Po3 actually sets up Breezepaw's troubles and dynamics well before it's finally confirmed that he is a victim of child abuse.
ABUSE: Outcast, the Tribe Journey.
In Outcast, Breezepaw's problems have escalated into open aggression towards cats of other Clans, and is now a legitimate concern for his own safety. Yet, he's spoken over by older warriors, and reprimanded at nearly every opportunity, right in front of the warrior of another Clan.
Squilf just asked the poor kid how his training was going, and then Whitetail JUMPS to talk over him so she can complain, RIGHT in front of his face.
They can't even wait until they're alone to grumble something rude about Breezepaw, who is still just a teenager here;
They taught him already that a bit of prey that runs off their own territory still belongs to WindClan, encourage him to blow past borders in pursuit, and started a battle with ThunderClan over this. And then they're pissed off at him for being aggressive, thinking it's deserved to scold him in public.
When Onestar announces that he wants Breezepaw to go on the Tribe Journey, he's devastated by it...
Because he thinks WindClan doesn't like him, and he's right. He's gossiped about, torn into in front of a ThunderClan warrior, and even his own dad doesn't want to be around him. It's clear that Breezepaw's impulsive "codebreaking" behaviors are a desire to prove himself, and once you realize that, the way that he's being alienated is heartbreaking.
But Wait!! Hold on a minute! Where did he get a "patrol of apprentices" from to confront the dogs with, exactly?
Simple. Breezepaw CAN make friends! He actually values them a lot! So much that it's the first thing Crowfeather snaps at him over, out of frustration that his son is also being forced on this journey with him. It's an angry response to his child having emotional and physical needs, resentment that will continue all journey long.
Note that it's plural, friends. Breezepelt has multiple friends, at least one who is not Heatherpaw, and she promises to say goodbye to them.
Up next, they state over and over, Crowfeather and Breezepaw do not like each other. Crowfeather resents being around him and dealing with his rudeness, embarrassed and angry, and Breezepaw is absolutely miserable being sent on a journey to the mountains with a man who hates his guts.
The whole while, Crowfeather is brooding longingly about Feathertail, already thinking about her as soon as he kitty-kisses Nightcloud goodbye, his eyes looking somewhere distant. He makes a jab about loyalty when Breezepaw doesn't understand why they're helping the Tribe.
Breezepaw gets smacked after he's "shoved" at Purdy and acts rude to him, while the other three manage to be polite (while still having internal dialogue about how stinky he is).
Without so much as a, "cut that out," Crowfeather raises his paw and hits him. Breeze is quiet after that.
I don't give a shit how rude your teenager is being. Do not hit kids. Being throttled on the head is not okay.
In spite of the Three not liking Breezepaw, or even Crowfeather, they're constantly noting that their arguments are not normal, and that Crow is a cold, unsupportive father who digs into his kid constantly, and the only time he ever DOES "discipline" his child it's through immediately smacking him.
At one point, the apprentices get hungry, and decide to foolishly hunt in a barn that they know has dogs in it against Purdy's warnings. Once again, JUST like the first two books, Breezepaw is more friendly when Crowfeather is not around.
EVERY time he is alone with cats his own age, he's grumpy but cooperative. Even enthusiastic at times! The minute Crowfeather is in the picture, he's nasty.
Naturally, the dogs show up, but Purdy rescues them. Though Brambleclaw also chews his kids out (and i have strong opinions about bramble's parenting style for another time), Hollypaw is taken aback by the contrast of what a scolding from Brambleclaw looks like vs how Crowfeather reacts.
The narrative is desperately trying to tell you that the way Crowfeather treats his son is not normal.
And then Crowfeather is pissed off that Breezepaw is exhausted from running for his life from hungry dogs,
And he's constantly losing his shit whenever Breezepaw says something as innocuous as "dad im hungry"
Then, Breezepaw is made to watch his dad pine over the grave of a woman who died long before Crowfeather was even considering his mother for a mate. What he feels is jealousy, because he knows his own father doesn't love him anywhere near as much as he loves the memory of Feathertail.
This really goes on and on and on. The ENTIRE trip is like this, with Crowfeather treating Breezepelt poorly, giving him a smack before even verbally warning him, pushing him past his limits and blowing up on him when he asks simple questions about eating or resting.
It all comes to a head in this one exchange, towards the end. Hollypaw ends up snapping at Breezepaw for his rudeness, before having an epiphany.
It's explicit. Crowfeather's emotional abuse, his "scorn" for Breezepelt, is what is driving a wedge between him and all of his older Clanmates. Between EVERYONE in Breezepelt's life who wasn't already his friend. This awful treatment is only making him worse and worse.
Realizing this, she has more sympathy for him, but it's too late. He continues to be rude to her because he feels insulted, and her patience completely runs out. She's just a kid. They're both just kids. She's not responsible for fixing him when he's pushing everyone away at this point.
That's the end of Breezepelt in Outcast. It can't be helped anymore. Any spark of friendship they had together in the barn, or in the tunnels, is gone.
As the series progresses, Crowfeather continues to refuse any personal responsibility for the mistreatment of his son, even pinning all of Breezepelt's behavioral problems on Nightcloud. He is a cold, selfish father who only ever thinks about his own pain and reputation.
DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.
Everyone talks about the Attack on Poppyfrost, which happens in the first book of OotS, in oversimplified terms. YES he is going after a nun and a pregnant woman. I've never said that's not Bad.
But no one talks about "WHY", and that reason is NOT just that he desires power like so many other WC villains. Breezepelt makes his motivation very clear on the page.
Escalating to violence was about making Jayfeather feel the way that he does.
When Breezepelt says that he wants Jay to be surrounded by "lies, hatred, and things that should never have happened," he's talking about the way HE grew up, knowing his father never wanted him, and that his Clan HATES him as a result. Killing Poppyfrost is about trying to frame Jayfeather for her murder, so ThunderClan won't trust him anymore.
When Jayfeather points out the simple truth that what Breezepelt is saying doesn't make any goddamn sense, his hatred "falters." He's blaming his half-clan half-brother for his own treatment because of the reveal, but totally failed to consider that JAYFEATHER'S ALREADY GOING THROUGH IT... so his response is just this pitiful, "s-shut up, man."
Then the ghost of Brokenstar and Breezepelt bounce him back and forth between them like a beach ball for a bit until Honeyfern's spirit shows up.
Breezepelt's childhood abuse and social alienation was a hook that the Dark Forest latched onto, to reel him in. His anger at his half-brother is so obviously misplaced that its absurdity was something Jayfeather pointed out.
We soon learn that it's the Dark Forest who's planting that ridiculous idea in his head;
The narration is SCREAMING, "The Dark Forest is validating the anger he feels towards his father, and redirecting it towards The Three." He's described as 'kitlike,' Tigerstar's eyes are compared to a hypnotizing snake.
This prose could not make it more obvious if it drove to your house, beat you with it, and then spoon fed you the point while you were hospitalized.
At the end of this scene, Tigerstar sends Hawkfrost to recruit Ivypaw. This scene where Breezepelt is being lovebombed, and the command to start grooming Ivypaw, ARE LINKED. That was a choice.
A VERY GOOD choice! Again, as many issues as I have with OotS, its handling of indoctrination is unironically fantastic, and it owes a good amount of that to the outstanding setup of Breezepelt that was done back in Po3. And that setup doesn't work if Crowfeather was merely distant.
Breezepelt was abused by his father, both verbally and physically. It drove him to be more aggressive to prove himself, modeling the battle culture around him. The adults of WindClan judged him based off Crowfeather's responses, shunning and belittling the 'problem' teenager, which eventually drove Breezepelt to the only group that he felt "understood" him.
In a book series that is RIFE with abuse apologia, this is one of the few times that there's any behavioral consequences for abuse and the narrative holds the perpetrator accountable for it.
But people hear Crowfeather's deflective excuse in The Last Hope where he says he never hated him, blames Nightcloud for everything, and just lick it up uncritically.
Gee whiz, I wonder why the guy who never blames himself for any of his problems would suddenly say it was his ex-wife's fault. Real headscratcher!
(Crowfeather's Trial then goes onto, for all my own problems with it, also hold Crow accountable as the reason why Breezepelt turned out like he did. But that's a topic for another day.)
#This is headcanon territory here. But one day I realized I can read Breezy-P with BPD and he became a blorbo.#Never been able to unsee it and it massively endears him to me... Breeze Pelt Disorder...#I actually REALLY hate how his arc was resolved and strongly feel that he should have progressed into a bigger problem#But I equally strongly feel that being redeemed is the ideal ending for him#so if it was between him being pure evil/redemption death or the awful halting we got at the end of oots....#I'd pick the halting over him being pure evil or a redemption death.#I think BB made me REALLY fall in love with him. He's my sweet cheese. My good time boy.#Bones when he sees an angry black cat: ''i can fix you. first i must break you. but then i can fix you''#Like. what i dislike about where he went is that even if your anger issues came from abuse. you STILL are responsible for your actions#but in the end getting that Shitty Dad Approval fixes him. Not his own growth or self-reflection.#it feels like BREEZE gets his agency stripped away for HIS ABUSIVE DAD'S character arc#It retcons in a reason why Breezepelt is not still a problem and then he faded into the background.#while Crowfeather continues to get supporting roles and every now and then Breeze now looks at him fondly#BLECH.#Crowfeather#Breezepelt#Abuse#Child Abuse#Warrior Cats Analysis#And now you know anon!!
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Having the Pool Dream again, handsome?
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#mdzs au#MDZS disco elysium au#[Pain Threshold - Formidable 13]: Endure it.#I am once again putting my brain ramblings on display to give me a bit more time to finish the comic this is based off of#I promise this will make sense in context. Maybe.#Disco AU gives me the opportunity to explore the idea of 'what if wwx and lwj were even *more* neurotic and haunted?'#LWJ absolutely would have repetitive nightmares about wwx with the themes of inevitability and helplessness.#Sometimes its him dying as wwx stands by. Sometimes it is him - unable to move as wwx slowly fades away.#Haunted by the past....Lost to the pale tides of mourning. Welcoming the pain just to feel the memory nearby.#See you all tomorrow for the Real Comic (manifesting it by saying it over and over again)#side note: I think wwx would be a great lifeguard. He would love heckling teens and helping out kids and old folks.#Goofy but takes the health and safety aspect of his job very seriously.#There's gotta be an AU for that out there....right?
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accompanying text/analysis post
#the devil couldn't reach me#so he gave me ideas but not the canon content to truly portray it#nor the the ability to draw#or the money to commission work#so I did the best I could with the content we have#they were just babies. brothers. best friends. once upon a time.#and then they drifted apart#the bond faded away. but never broke.#Spider lost his baby brother. his best friend.#Spider has to live on without him#even with their petty fights and arguments and hurt and resentment and lost chances between them#that was his brother#he would do anything to see him again. to play pretend one more time.#and the same went for Neteyam#it's why he went back for his big brother#they both wanted things to be better#spider socorro#spider avatar#spider atwow#miles spider socorro#neteyam sully#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#neteyam#avatar#james cameron's avatar#james cameron avatar#avatar the way of water#atwow
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walking through lucanis' mind prison. the tam lin of it all
#his mind keeps changing forms and you just have to show him you won't let go of him#it doesn't even really matter what you say to him just that you're consistently there to say it. your voice is a comfort. im in pain#I'm having so many feelings about like... rook can't be here. because of all things in the world rook means 'safe'. what if I exploded#what if I just shattered into a thousand pieces and was swept away by the wind actually#'it's better that I stay here than risk losing you' is such pitch perfect trauma logic. freeze logic specifically#on some level he seems to think he keeps rook safe like. existentially. by staying here#it's heartbreaking child magical thinking that makes me wonder like. has he basically been in a place like this inside#ever since his parents died? before that? the ossuary is just new set dressing the underlying logic is OLD. and very very sad to me#'I keep everyone safe by staying here'#(and then the perfect hilarity of having an actual demon be like 'ROOK. YOU TALK TO HIM HE NEVER LISTENS TO ME'#tfw your inner demon gets worried enough to stage an intervention and get you therapy whether you want it or not lmao)#dragon age#dragon age spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#rook x lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#rye staying mostly in gentle professional mode for this one b/c this is literally his training#('I may not be batting a hundred at being a person but I DO know how to deal with fade shenanigans! not to worry I've got you')#except in that last part with the illario mind ghost where he roundaboutly admits 'I need you I don't know how to do this without you'#in rye speak that is very big it's like. third base of his soul or something. we do not ask for things for ourselves in this house#(because we already know we will not receive anyway so that sounds both humiliating and ultimately pointless. no thank you!)#and yet. the things we'll admit for love#the feeling that some of the things varric did for rye immediately post-exile rye is paying forward with lucanis now. don't look at me
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he would
#eiden is a big sweetiepiecake doubledecker mousse pudding even if he throws sass at u#(to be fair dante you need to be humbled multiple times a day)#UGH WHY SO NICE TO EVERYONE. EIDEN UR KILLING ME#hm. is this event tagged or. i mean. dante's face when the recognition and fourth wall awareness return to him#if they wer ein the sims u could see the LIKE++ pop up above dante's head as he fades away#fanciful capriccio#danei#nu carnival eiden#nu carnival dante
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I might be stupid but is Al, Smunker, and Talon togetherrrr. Like a polycule or are they having a secret 3rd thing? Sorry if the answer is obvious jdjdj
theyre together! au (?) for cheye's survival
(general info doodle i made a few months ago) (i say au but idk it could become permanent in my daydream zone, Talon is meant to have his own canon but I like him too much and am bad at writing plots)
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This is still a fairly recent development so the current needed-SOME-foundation lore is:
talon and al were as together as talon would allow at the time (so not really) but he liked Al most even amidst his anxieties about men. He leaves for a long while with no contact once he realizes he's getting toooooo comfortable with al, comes back for another round of comfort and gets attached again to both the guy he knew AND the guy's boyfriend
I dont think Talon actually likes being referred to as boyfriend by either of them, nor would he refer to them as his boyfriends, but the attachment and "role" is still there and that's what they loosely consider him (i have to explore this further, theres still a lot i dont know abt him) while also knowing he could just decide to leave again if he so wishes
#skunk mail#anonymous#yes this is where the little ^_^ smunker i use comes from shfkshdj#also that faded talon in second pic is one of my fave little nyalons#it takes him much longer to play nice with (smunker). not even out of jealousy he just has hashtag issues#its not jealousy at all its more like. he also treated al badly at first. he will treat you badly if he doesnt know you#and if he doesnt respect you#so at some point he now Knows smunker but doesnt respect him.#very easy to manipulate and be mean to him while al isnt around#OK SORRY IF THIS IS INCOHERENT i lpve answering asks but im about tof all asleep#oc text#whgat i describes above is more in the beginning btw. he gets conflictingly attached before long#talon prefers cuddling smunker bc smunker is the warmest#talon has emotional outbursts and periods of wanting to cause harm often though and smunker is usually#the victim of dis since Al is Secure and talon knows he cant get away with being mean to al
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memories
#hikaai#oshi no ko#oshi no ko spoilers#hikaru kamiki#ai hoshino#I'm getting the idea what what he's been doing's ACTUALLY helped him feel Ai in some solid sense;#a lot of things that are beyond logic happen in this work soo#that aside-it's sad how some memories never go away while some don't stay as well as you'd like#it does seem like he really didn't want to have her fade away#that's the sad thing about death. you can't feel them anymore and it really feels you're losing them even more#doodle#spoilers
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Dorothea modern Sejarcus au, in which they were childhood best friends but they fell out of touch, and now Sejanus is a famous dancer traveling across the country, and Marcus watches his success grow from afar, wishing they could still be part of each other’s lives
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#dancer sejanus my new obsession? likelier than you think#marcus is in love with him and avidly follows all news regarding him#they meet again after many years since they last saw each other when sejanus finally performs near him#marcus decides to try to meet him after the show even though he’s very anxious at the idea#and he brings him a huge bouquet of flowers like the ones people usually gift to dancers#all nervousness fades away when sejanus lights up and seems to relax at the sight of him#but that same night marcus finds out sejanus has a boyfriend of two years or so#and his heart shatters even though he already thought he didn’t have a chance with him#the boyfriend is obviously shitty cause sejanus just cannot date a decent man#marcus please save him#i have many more thoughts about this but i’ll stop here#sejarcus#marcus tbosas#sejanus plinth
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Ohhh he makes me sick
#asterix#julius caesar#julius caesar asterix#asterix & obelix: the big fight#asterix & obelix: le combat des chefs#THE REF TO THE ASTERIX CLEOPATRA MOVIE#when i tell you i yelled#GUHHH HES SO HANDSOME#GO AWAY OLD MAN I CANT DEAL ....#MY ANCIENT LOVE FOR YOU NEVER FADED#im stupid excited abojt this show you dont even knowwww
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Oh. Oh I just had a thought.
Sonic Prime AU where Sonic loses a leg and gets a prosthetic made by Nine (or something) but like. What happens after the day is saved and Green Hills is eventually restored...? o.o
I'll find ways to make it worse too. You can count on it. Thinking battle scars... and I'm sure there's some other things.
OOOOOO WHAT IF HE GOES DEAF TOO? >:D
His friends are asking all these questions about the sudden prosthetic and scars and stuff but he can't hear shit and he's already stressed and his hands are shaking so he can't quite sign and I'm just- OUGH.
#trauma exploration~#sonic#sonic prime#sonic au#now how can i include blindness in a way that makes sense to make it even more angsty/give Sonic more problems...?#side effect of him fading away and Shadow barely getting him back in time maybe??#That way he's even more disoriented and confused#and if we're going that route he probably also feels a little numb at first#which then also means he probably thinks they didn't make it in time for a minute#yes- YES#the angst is coming together
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there’s this recurring theme when it comes to regulus of him watching his life pass him by, being on the outside and not knowing how to participate etc but what if one day he wakes up and he’s Literally invisible…like no one can see him anymore and regulus is just like….whatever not much has changed it’s fine….it’s going to fix itself soon…except by doing nothing about it people quickly start to forget who he is, and the more people forget about him the more tired and weak he becomes….and he realizes he has to do Something or he will fade out of existence completely & forever
#and then he does something and someone remembers. or he dies idk i haven’t thought that far#maybe at some point there is one person who suddenly starts to notice him when they never have before...#and this person is like..woah that ghost is new…wait why is he walking..?#and then. wait that’s regulus black. why is he a ghost IS HE DEAD????#so they go talk to him and help him. somehow. i don’t know how. i don't even know what turned him invisible in the first place#my jegulus tunnel vision wants this person to be james but i think it also works with anyone who Wasn't his friend#like i feel like it Has to be someone who didn't really notice him before/didn't care about him. and this is why i think james is perfect#but also. what if regulus just. gives up. he thinks even if he were to come back it wouldn’t change a thing so he stays invisible and#lets people forget him and he fades away without anyone even knowing. because no one remembers him#choose your ending i guess!#regulus black#marauders#jegulus#i guess. only in the tags
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web weave: dear one, this season is filled with purpose even when we cannot see it. we are still growing, even here. take heart— and listen.
where were you - ghost ship // till we have faces - cs lewis // the sower’s song - andrew peterson // isaiah 55:8-9 // the sower’s song - andrew peterson // isaiah 55:10-12
#His Word will not return void!!! yes— even in us <3#and He Himself is the answer. before His face the questions we thought we were asking fade away.#there is purpose and intention and love and growth in each and every day of our lives—- even & especially the ones we don’t understand#and there’s such comfort and peace in remembering that#this was sparked by a deeply encouraging conversation with a friend— you know who you are. love you dearly. <3#web weaving#by grace#cs lewis#andrew peterson
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you know afo only had a copy of the afo quirk when he died, shigaraki still has the og afo quirk.
so the shigaraki mom vestige still exists just within tomura right....?
people have the afo and yoichi vestiges will decide to disappear away together theory but what if she is present there too to be with them. the whole family is reunited for a brief moment, exchanges some final words with each other, before fading away peacefully.
#I'm just thinking how we're shown how her quirk kept responding to a41 even after the other vestiges rebelled#and the fact that a41 kept her quirk after all these years#like how am I not supposed to think that means something#anyways don't take this as a super serious prediction this is more of a what if idea lol#based off my desire to see shigaraki mom and see a41 at his most vulnerable and see yoichi and him making peace w/ each other#a41 watches his dream die but is held close by the two people who mean the most to him as he fades away forever#sound super cheesy but this is my cheesy academia so it fits
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Rereading the dialog that is said during suppressions. Abel specifically says 'Loved Ones' as he speaks about those in the upper layer's demise and their struggle and urging to stop as continuing on is futile. Abram says 'colleagues'. 'Coworkers'. He does refer to them as 'Friends' once as well. But every other dialog is about Carmen or generalizing and saying 'everyone' rather than specifics. It just feels odd a bit to where he uses less strong terms when referring to relations with people and then afterwards only refers to Carmen by name rather than those still existing beside him. Even when it was stated by a facet of A and others (I can only remember Hokma off the top of my head. It may be only him which would make sense) refer to A having seen them as specifically 'Loved Ones'. Which is a far stronger showing and expression of emotion to those around you.
It makes me think of how he, Abram, expressed his desires, the desire to die [see: 'sink'/'sleep' for he explicitly refers to death consistently as slumber and when bringing the dead back 'waking them up'] and stop, in that moment. He constantly brings up, in general terms, self punishment and Carmen. Guilt that is carried with Carmen. Memories of her death, her passing. Of how she left without a smile. Of how she can no longer bask in the warmth of the sun she loved to do so frequently. Yet only of Carmen in name. Never anyone else or specifics of people, generalizations when referring to others and referring to them all inside a group, as a collective. Them and then Carmen. Focused on only that. On the fact he cannot move forward. Urging to just shut the eyes and to simply Sink. To Sleep. To die. It reminds me of when one goes ahead and becomes so interlaced with suffering and grief and despair that one simply stews inside of it, spiraling down further into that single train of thought. Holding onto the image of a dead and deceased one. It feels as if, in a more crude way of saying it as I cannot formulate a different way currrently at the moment, searching of 'justification' and a fitting reason to commit suicide. [I say Justification as what I really mean to say a 'fitting reason', that reason and end seeming to Be the Only way to continue, or lack of continue, at that point to him.] Rather than saying the names or specifics of those around him, of his loved ones still inside those metal boxes, he becomes enveloped in grief and only on Carmen. Abram's mistake which he fixates the most upon. Holds deep guilt for. Blames himself for. Saying he drove her to her death. That he is leaving her behind [I didnt save the exact quote but it was generally that]. When those inside the facility are people he also so clearly values and wished to bring back as well he, at this moment, primarily focuses on Carmen. Even when he does address the others it's in a more brief manner, having two pieces of dialog on the Sephirot specifically and it only relating to his Faults relating to them than the people themself when he speaks of Carmen in a more in depth manner. Perhaps it's still the wish clinging of to not hold trust in anyone. But it feels reminiscent to when a person tries to push themself and gain 'courage' to commit suicide. Of focusing only on the guilt and regret and the mourning of one already gone, who was so near and dear whom he did all of this for in the first place his desire only stemming from her and not the project itself, especially one who also killed herself, to go ahead and die as well. Perhaps it's not even an active thing he does in his mind. It's just become so overbearing that he has now gotten stuck in that never ending loop. Using far more stronger language of the woman dead and gone who he wishes to rejoin than of those currently alive and near to him, making them feel far more distant than they actually are mentally – at least in relations and connections wise. Depression does tend to tear down what one feels towards their loved ones and how they process and view relationships causing for people to exhibit such a thing by feeling distant in a room or alone with a loved one nearby as commonly known – and physically. I'm not saying that's 'totally what it is' or the sort. More of that reading it over again just reminded me of such a thing. Nothing revolutionary but more ramblings to process it all after it ended
#lobcorp spoilers#lobotomy corp spoilers#abram lobcorp#abel lobcorp#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#[LCorp]#All the tags needed I think. I cant really do much else but do small words today or anything else more mentally straining than idle thought#Ill likely be better tomorrow. If not then the tomorrow after. If not then that day afterwards#that makes it sound daunting.... itll be ever so slightly marginally better after i have ice cream i think. there. more easy#back to lobcorp though... i always was struck with how abram speaks and describes things#yes the obvious far more gentle and softer language when describing death when everything else doesnt shy away from calling it what it is#but also the disconnect with how he says things and the reality of it in a sense...? more of contradictions at least#hard to describe rifht now. him saying carmen left leaving nothing behind when her nervous system is still There#of the abnormalities that have snippets of her even in A's perspective being bloodbath and the snow queen#of how the facility was built underground due to the grief A felt. the company that mourns her#shes everywhere yet nowhere at once. yet she left so mant things behind. from memories and hope to scars#'faded' 'forgotten' shes here. shes here.#stepping into the bathtub to they wouldnt feel any guilt and the abram saying it was His Fault [cant find exact quote i paraphrased it]#sorry for not providing exact quotes as well im not motivated to do much... at all.. cant find it in me besides general loose thoughts#[Musings]
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