#and eddie will gasp and applaud like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen

[doitbuckley]

my buddie pony 🐎

[potterbite]

i can only be me with you

After one of Buck’s heroics spreads all over the news, Eddie finally sees what happened above ground when he was trapped almost a year before. 

On AO3.

As Buck and the team hops out of the firetruck, the rest of the station starts applauding; some are early for their shift that’s about to start, others preparing to head home. About twelve of fifteen people are just standing there, grinning at Buck.

“What - ?” Buck begins, looking to the others for some confirmation that they know what this is about. However, they all seem just as confused as he feels.

As the applauds die down, Bobby speaks up.

“What was that about?”

One of the women on the upcoming shift grins. “It’s gone viral.”

“What has?”

“The video from earlier today of Buck jumping out of that window to save the little girl.”

Oh. 

At this, Hen and Chim laugh while Eddie gives him a nudge on the shoulder, muttering, “Now you’re just like Firefox.”

-----

The thing is, it’s not like he had the time to think it through before jumping out of the window on the eight floor; it was all instinct, seeing that little girl fall through it with nobody else close by to help her. But on some level, he knew he still had the harness around his middle and he trusted his team enough to fully believe they would catch that rope before it was too late.

So he flew through the crashed window barely two seconds after the screaming five year old and caught her around the waist; she was so stunned she paused her screaming. They came to an abrupt stop at the fourth floor, hanging like a couple of ragdolls, and he could’ve sworn he heard someone from up above swear loudly in spanish. 

But it’s not like he thought that someone might be filming it all and uploading it to every social media plattform known to mankind or that it would be on all the big news channels less than six hours later. 

He won’t lie, he kind of likes it. But he’s still exhausted by the time he pulls the key out of the ignition in the driveway. He leans his head back and closes his eyes; his phone is finally quiet, blissfully so, after ringing every three minutes since he finished work four hours ago. Granted, he did turn off sound and vibration so the quiet might be thanks to that but he doesn’t dare to look and check for number of missed calls in the last thirty minutes.

A rapt knock on the driver window makes him jump, the top of his head hitting the roof of the car with a thump and his legs slamming into the steering wheel.  

He curses in pain, but still hears the muffled laughter; he flips the other person off. 

“Nice one,” Eddie comments as he opens the car door. Buck just grunts in response, shaking his legs a couple of times as he climbs out. 

“Don’t sneak up on a person like that.”

Eddie raises both eyebrows. “You’re sitting in my driveway. Chris heard you and wanted me to check you weren’t a murderer.”

Buck grins at this. “And he made you go alone?”

“I didn’t say it was logical. Now come on, dinner is almost ready.”

At least three or four times a week, Buck goes over to the Diaz house for dinner and to hang out with two of his favorite people. Also, ever since Eddie broke it off with Ana a few weeks back, Buck’s been afraid that Eddie might feel lonely. Whenever he asks about her though, Eddie doesn’t say much about the break up, only that it had been amicable and then he always gets this tinge of red on his cheeks that Buck absolutely does not find cute. 

“Hey kiddo!” Buck calls out as they enter the house through the kitchen door.

“Bucky! You’re on TV,” Chris replies and Buck sighs, standing next to Eddie by the counter. 

“I can’t look at that shit anymore,” he murmurs and the other man smirks.

“Not all it’s cracked up to be, being a celebrity?”

“I - “ 

“Bucky! Come see, they’re showing when you tried to save Dad, too,” Chris calls and well, Buck isn’t sure but it would seem his entire stomach flips at these words. 

Eddie goes still, a frown on his face. “What’s he talking about?”

Buck will absolutely not blush. “Probably just heard him wrong.”

“Dad! It’s really cool when Bucky screams like that, come see!”

Buck straightens. “He really shouldn’t be allowed to watch the news by himself, I’ll go put a movie on.”

He takes big strides towards the living room, but before he makes it all the way Eddie swishes past him as if he’s got wings. Eddie picks up the remote and rewinds a couple of minutes. And honestly, for a man claiming he hates technology, Eddie really loves that smartTV, even though he didn’t even know he could rewind until Buck showed him (something he regrets now). 

It’s not like Buck is ashamed of how he reacted that day when the ground collapsed on top of Eddie. Not really. It’s more that it feels like a pandora’s box he’s only ever opened on that day and he’s now deathly afraid of what will happen when he peeks under the lid again. 

But what can he do except stand there behind the couch next to Eddie and watch as the other man finds the right moment and press play? 

“Yes! Let’s watch it over and over again,” Chris claps. Buck ruffles a hand over his hair in response and the boy giggles.

“When was - ?” Eddie starts, but then he seems to recognize the farm. “Oh.”

In silence, they listen to the news anchor saying what a good guy Evan Buckley is and how he lost it when one of his own team members went under. There’s a drone shot from the moment of the collapse. A close-up on Buck’s face as he screams, and Bobby scooping him up.

Buck had known there were news teams there, of course, but he hadn’t realized they’d gotten him on camera as well. He’d ignored all reports from that day, preferring to not think about all the thousand things that could’ve gone wrong, so he’s never seen this before. But obviously, Eddie hasn’t either given the way he stares open mouthed at the screen. 

When he turns his head to look at Buck, Buck just shrugs sheepishly at him.

“That was so cool, right dad?” Chris grins, and Buck sees Eddie’s face soften. 

“Yeah, it was.” He looks up and meets Buck’s eyes for the fraction of a second and there’s another jolt in Buck’s stomach. “Time for dinner.”

-----

They don’t talk about what they saw on the news for the entire dinner or during the movie. 

Well, Chris does bring it up one time when he turns to Buck and asks, “Would you scream like that if I disappeared too?” with honesty only a child can muster. Buck doesn’t really know what to say to this so he grins and promises that he sure would. 

But even though Eddie acts normal, Buck can feel it in the air or when their eyes meet. It’s as if Eddie is screaming to say something but doesn’t want to in front of his son. Buck has no idea what that would be, because there’s no way Eddie could tell from those fast glimpses what really went on inside his head. The repeated mantra of ‘not him, not him, not him’ was not seen in his eyes, he’s sure of that.

If it were, Eddie would’ve caught on earlier. Maybe when he, Eddie, started dating Ana. Or when he broke it off with her. That fire inside of Buck’s soul dimming and glowing stronger was not visible through his eyes, because that would mean he’d lose his best friend. And that was not an option. 

But he’s still nervous when it’s time for Chris to sleep; is this the last time he’ll say goodnight to Chris like this? So when the boy takes Buck’s hand and says, “Can you do it instead of Dad?” he does. Eddie stays in the doorway to Chris’ room, silently watching as Buck tucks the boy in. 

“Buck?” Chris whispers so quietly Buck has to lean forward to hear.

“Yeah?” he whispers back.

Chris reaches for Buck’s face and moves it so he can whisper the words right by his ear. “I think he loves you, too.”

Buck blushes, straightening a bit. “Um, thanks buddy,” he replies, his voice still barely a whisper. He sneaks a glance at Eddie, who thankfully doesn’t appear to have heard the silent conversation. Then louder he adds, “Sleepy time.”

Chris nods happily, and has fallen asleep within three minutes of Buck reading his favorite book. 

As he stands up to leave the room, Eddie enters to give Chris a kiss on the forehead. Buck stays in the living room, not sure if he should take his opportunity to leave or just get this over with so he’ll know if their friendship is ruined or not.  

Before he has made up his mind, Eddie comes out and closes the door behind him. Buck opens his mouth to say something, anything, when Eddie meets his eyes and Buck sucks in a breath. 

“I’ve never seen that before,” Eddie says. Buck doesn’t even question what ‘that’ is, since he can only be talking about the video of Buck screaming at the top of his lungs. 

“No,” Buck says stupidly. “I suppose not.”

“I wish I had though.”

“Oh?” Buck isn’t at all sure where this conversation is going, but for some reason Eddie keeps moving closer to him, so he has no choice but to lean against the wall. 

“Yeah.” Almost chest to chest.

Buck licks his lips and swallows. His stomach does another flip then, because Eddie most certainly followed that movement with his eyes. 

“Why?” Buck asks even though he has difficulties concentrating when all he can think about is if Eddie can feel the beating of his heart when their chests are touching like this. 

“‘cause we could’ve done this much sooner,” he replies and surges up for a kiss. 

Buck gasps, and he can feel the smirk against his own lips. So as soon as his brain has caught up with what’s happening, he pushes off from the wall and flips them as some kind of revenge. He presses Eddie against it instead which makes him groans, and as his lips open Buck takes advantage of that and sneaks inside. 

As they battle together and Eddie’s fingers caress his neck, Buck nudges his thigh in between Eddie’s legs and gets another groan in appreciation; Buck savors that vibration as if he’s starving. 

He feels as if they should slow down, talk about what’s happening, why neither of them has said anything and what’s going to happen next. But then Eddie bites gently in his lower lip, making him moan and Eddie swallows the sound greedily. 

As if it’s the most natural thing in the entire world, he starts to back Eddie into the master bedroom, closing the door with his foot once they are inside.

What the hell, they can talk tomorrow instead. 

[seaofashes]

This one goes out to @stellarstacey for the following prompt:Cyber Punk/Circus/Christopher/Heavy the head that wears the crown/Love(the emotion I'm going with)

-------

Eddie kept a careful hand on his son as they made their way to the seats. Christopher had been wanting to go to the circus for a while now but Eddie was always busy with work, so when he finally got a day off he thought it'd be a good way to spend it with his son. He'd heard a little bit about Cybertanisa and how impressive it was. All of the animals were completely biomechanical and from what he heard many of the performers were sporting cybernetic limbs and enhancements. Christopher seemed extremely interested in it so what the hell right? Anything to make his boy happy.

They took their seats and waited for the show to start. Christopher was telling him about the biomechanical tigers they use when Eddie caught sight of what he assumed was one of the performers. The man was beautiful, he had blonde hair and piercing blue eyes and a birthmark right above one of his eyes. He was wearing tight black pants and an equally right red and gold vest. The man walked to the center to speak to Ringmaster who nodded to him and blue eyes turned and sprinted off gracefully.

"Isn't that cool dad?" Christopher said as he leaned into his father's side. Eddie felt bad for not catching the last bit of what his son said but smiled down at him seeing how happy Chris looked. "Yeah, that is pretty cool Mijo."

Christopher held onto a little green, bioluminescent rose that he hoped to give to one of the performers after the show. Eddie thought it was sweet of his son and only hoped that he could actually be able to give it to someone.

It felt like hours before it actually started but Eddie had to admit...it was pretty cool. The tigers were quite impressive and able to withstand more heat from hoops and more dangerous tricks. Chris was mesmerized as he watched the tiger stand on it's hind legs and one of the women did a one handed handstand on it's paw before she flipped off and began to do some sort of fire dancing. Her hands were quite literally on fire and Eddie figured that was one of her enhancements. Neat.

Eddie cringed as he watched a man stick 67 swords down his throat but he was pretty impressed. There had to be some sort of cybernetic internal modification. However if it wasn't Eddie was going to be mildly horrified and also most definitely impressed with the man who's name he has already forgotten. Actually Eddie had forgotten all of the names that had been announced tonight and he felt kinda bad about it.

Eddie was listening to Christopher tell him about the twins performing on the trapeze before his breath caught in his throat as the man let go of his sister. A low collective gasp overtook the crowd and Eddie was sure just about every heart in the place stopped before she was caught by someone else swinging in. His legs woven through an aerial hoop as he grabbed her by an arm and launched her to her respective platform before he grabbed the ring and hoisted his legs from the ring as he spun.

"We are proud to introduce the best Aerial performer around, Our very own Evan Buckley!" The Ringmaster called out as Eddie kept his eyes glued to the man who moved through the air so gracefully. He seemed to be a part of the ring he wove himself in and out of dancing in sync to the music Eddie hadn't even realized was playing. He heard Christopher giggle as Eddie watched the man, Evan, hook his left leg through the ring as he swung around the tent in a wide circle.

"What's so funny bud?" Eddie asked his son quietly as he glanced at him. Christopher leaned over closer to him. "You think he's pretty don't you? You've got that look on your face and you've had your mouth open the whole time."

Eddie flushed slightly. "I do not."

"Liar liar pants on fire." Chris giggled as he leaned against his dad and watched the rest of Evans performance. At the end he stood on the ring before dropping down and holding on with his hands, Eddie catching the miniscule hesitation he had before swinging off as someone caught him and he landed safely on a platform.

Eddie couldn't really focus much on the remaining hour and barely noticed when the show has ended until he seen everyone come out and bow. Christopher handed Eddie the rose he had been holding all night so he could applaud everyone, beaming the entire time.

Eddie and Christopher waited until the place was practically deserted before making their way downstairs catching sight of the Ringmaster. "Uh, excuse me sir?"

The man stopped and turned towards them. "How can I help you folks?"

"I'm sorry to trouble you but my son here is...a huge fan of you all and was wondering if he could give this rose to a specific performer? He's been saving it for them for a while." Eddie said as he looked at the Ringmaster who took the two in and glanced around.

"Who're you looking to give it to kiddo?" The man asked Christopher who waved him closer so he could whisper in his ear. Eddie looked at him and raised a brow slightly.

The Ringmaster smiled slightly. "Well you'll find him right over there. Just keep your eyes up and you'll find him. Now you folks have a nice night, hope you enjoyed the show."

Eddie nodded as he followed his son who was looking upwards as he walked and slowed slightly. "M-Mr. Buckley?" Christopher called out quietly as he looked up at the man.

Evan was suspended about 20 feet in the air hanging upside down from his ring. One leg hooked through the ring as he tinkered on his cybernetic leg, synthetic skin hidden as he glanced down and once again Eddie's breath caught in his throat. He was even more beautiful up close. Eddie noticed that the man had eyeliner ringed around his eyes as well as green and gold eyeshadow like many of the other performers.

"Well hello there, how can I help you there buddy?" He said as he looked at Christopher.

"I was wondering if I could give you something Mr. Buckley?" Christopher asked.

Evan smiled broadly as he carefully unhooked his leg and dropped, landing gracefully near the two and walked closer. "Of course you can, and please call me Buck."

"Here you go Buck! I heard that this was your favorite type of rose and Daddy and I found some a while back." Christopher said as he took the rose from his father and held it out to Buck who's smile could rival that of the Suns. Buck crouched down.

"Well thank you, that's very sweet of you buddy. I love it." He said smiling at the young boy. "You are just the cutest kid huh?"

"Thank you I'm glad you like it." Christopher giggled before quietly adding. "You're cute too apparently, at least Daddy thinks so."

"Does he now?" Buck mused as he smirked glancing over to Eddie who was looking at him confused, wondering what his son had said just now.

"You okay with your son being introduced to Lassandra?" Buck asked as he looked at Eddie. Christopher turned to his father and pleaded. "Pllleeaasssseeeeeeeeeee Daddy!!! Can I please see the tiger?"

"Of course Mijo just...be careful okay? I'll be right here Christopher, no running off too far okay?" Eddie replied and the look on his son's face made him melt.

"Hey Chim! Do me a favor and take my new bud Christopher over there to meet Lassandra?" Buck called out as another man came over and smiled.

"Sure thing Buck, come on little man. She's one of the coolest things you'll probably ever see." Chimney said as he walked Christopher over to the pin the tiger was in. Buck walked over to Eddie and held out a hand which Eddie shook.

"So my kid tells me that you're one of the best." Eddie said as he tried not to look over the man shaking his hand.

"Heavy the head that wears the crown." Buck mumbled with a sad smile. "That title came with a heavy price."

"Most things do." Eddie said simply.

"You got a name?"

"Eddie...Eddie Diaz." Eddie answered with a small smile as he watched Christopher touch the biomechanical creature not too far away.

"Well Eddie...you're not too bad yourself." Buck said as he eyed the other man. Eddie flushed.

"I'm sorry?"

"Your kid made the comment that you thought I was cute, you're not too bad yourself Mr. Fireman." Buck said with a lopsided grin. Eddie opened his mouth but Buck spoke again.

"Your shirts not buttoned all the way, caught a glimpse of your badge number and the F.D on your chest. I don't have modded eyes. Only thing not real on me is this." He motioned to his lower left leg. "Lost the real one in a fall a few years back."

"And you're still willing to go up there?" Eddie asked, mildly impressed by the man's observation skills but not commenting on it.

"Don't see why not. Got nothing else to live for outside of this." Buck said honestly.

"You could."

"Not as easy as you think man, we're not all firefighters with a cute kid." Buck mumbled as they watched Christopher laugh as Chimney did something with Lassandra.

"You could be."

"A firefighter with a cute kid?" Buck asked raising a brow.

"Yeah. Don't see why not." Eddie stated calmly as he glanced at Buck who's blue eyes were trained on him.

"Is this your way of flirting?"

"Depends...is it working?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah. Probably only because it's me, doubt it would for anyone else." Buck said with a low laugh.

"I don't need it to work on anyone else." Eddie smiled as Buck laughed again and moved a bit closer.

"You busy tonight?" Eddie inquired as he looked into blue eyes.

"Nope, looks like I have a clear schedule for a while. I just quit my job about .2 seconds ago. Might end up spending my life with this really handsome fellow and his son though." Buck mused as he leaned in towards Eddie.

"That sounds nice." He mumbled to Buck and Eddie closed the distance between them, capturing Buck's lips gently. They broke away laughing slightly as Christopher mumbled, "Ew gross" as he walked back over to the two.

"How about we all head out and go get something to eat?" Eddie said ruffling his son's hair. Both Christopher and Buck nodded in agreement and they headed out into the night of the awaiting city.

(epilogue: Buck becomes a firefighter and marries Eddie and they love happily ever after with Christopher because it's what they deserve)

(p.s. I'm probably going to do a longer fic for ao3 on this prompt if anyone would be interested in that)

[cvteeds]

ME!

minnesotamemelord on AO3

Richie adjusts his bow tie one last time in the side mirror of the limo. He can hear the seemingly deafening roar of the crowd, of the reporters and nominees and everyone else outside. His manager sits across from him, spouting off reminders. Richie barely hears him.

”-and if you lose, look happy anyway. No one likes a sore loser, and if you want another season, you’ll-“

”I got it,” Richie says, cutting him off. He can’t take it anymore. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.” His agent and former manager, David, sighs.

“Fine.” He checks his watch and looks around nervously. “Are you sure you don’t want someone to walk the carpet with? It’s not too late, I hear Zachary Quinto’s still available-“

”I don’t need a date,” Richie says, rolling his eyes. “I’m still married. Even if he’s not here.”

”Of course.” Before David can say anything else, Richie opens the door and steps out into the Los Angeles evening, his brand-new converse sneakers sinking into the plush red carpet. The sneakers are his signature, and it’s written into his contract that he gets to wear them everywhere. Even, as is specifically stated in the writing, to the Emmys. They do not go with his tuxedo, and he has been reminded of this every single minute of every day since his nomination was announced. Well, nominations.

”Richie! Richie, over here!” Some reporter shouts. He vaguely recognizes her from a popular morning talk show that he always gets up too late to watch, but hears about constantly from his early-bird husband. He puts on an easy smile as he approaches, hoping it doesn’t look too fake. It’s not fake, not the excitement, but he can’t help but think that he should not be alone right now.

”I’m here with Richie Tozier, writer and star of the hit new horror-sitcom, ‘The Losers Club’, streaming now on HBO. Now, Richie, you’re famously very good friends with author William Denbrough.” It takes all of Richie’s self control not to laugh. Hearing people call Bill ‘William’ is like hearing himself called ‘Richard’, which only ever happens when Eddie gets mad. “Lots of people have drawn comparisons between ‘The Losers Club’ and Denbrough’s books. Was there any inspiration that came to you from reading your friend’s writing?” Richie laughs good-naturedly.

”Wow, starting off with the tough questions. Aren’t you going to ask me who I’m wearing?” The reporter chuckles politely. “No, but seriously, both Bill and I take our inspiration from our childhoods. We grew up together, and the kids we write about are definitely inspired by ourselves. So in a way, yes, I do take some of my inspiration from Bill, but it’s more from the person himself than his books.” She nods, clearly surprised by the eloquence of his answer. “And, uh, this suit is Gucci. Just so you know.”

He fights his way through the crowd (metaphorically, of course. He still stops for photos and interviews, and to talk to the odd acquaintance) and finally gets inside. He finds his seat between two of his co-stars, a young woman who resembles Bev in almost every way except that her hair is black, not red, and a man who resembles Eddie so heavily that Richie has, much to his husband’s annoyance, mistaken for him at least five times. The lights dim, the show begins, the host launches into her monologue, and Richie hardly even notices. It is a blur of standing, sitting, applauding, laughing, of lights and sparkles and the swish of gowns and tuxedo pants. Jameela Jamil leans back for a selfie. Tony Shalhoub accidentally knocks his glasses off on his way up to collect his award. John Mulaney cracks a joke so funny it takes all of Richie’s effort not to laugh through the ‘In Memoriam’ video. And then it is his award, Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. The announcer, a young woman Richie vaguely recognizes from this summer’s biggest action movie, flashes a brilliant white smile and lists off the nominees, ending with “...Richie Tozier as Bradley Thompson in ‘The Losers Club.’” She opens the gold envelope with delicate hands and Richie can feel his breath catch in his throat. He hardly expected to be nominated. He would not win. And yet, he has never been more anxious in his life, except on the day he asked Eddie to marry him.

“And the Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series goes to... Richie Tozier for ‘The Losers Club!’”

Richie doesn't register the shock at first. He thinks perhaps it is a dream, and when he stands on the stage to collect his award, he will be in his underwear. Or maybe it's Eddie, who had mocked him with this since his nomination was announced (lovingly, of course). But no, it's real, and he realizes it when his female co-star throws her arms around him, squealing excitedly. He rises to his feet, smiling unsteadily, and scoots out to the aisle. He was not supposed to win, he thinks. That's why they put him in the middle of the row instead of the end, where he could get out more easily. The probable winners are always in the aisle seats because it gives them an easy path to the stage. It's an odd moment of clarity, and it passes quickly, and then he is rising the stairs, and he's being handed the golden statue, and his face is warm under the lights. He blinks, expecting the glare of light on glass, but it never comes. He wears contacts now, he remembers, and laughs at his own short-mindedness. He has to bend down a little to reach the microphone, and as he pats his jacket pocket, realizes he has forgotten his speech at home. Fuck. He's going to be "that guy", the guys who forgets his notecards and has to make the whole thing up on the fly. Still, it's probably better than standing in awkward silence, which is what he's doing right now.

"Um... as a kid, I told a lot of jokes. And mostly, they weren't funny. But if you told that kid that one day, he'd be standing on this stage, he probably would have said 'yeah, right' and then made a crude joke about your mom." There is a smattering of polite laughter. He is building speed now, snowballing. "But that kid from Maine couldn't have gotten here without a lot of help, so there are some people I need to thank. My parents, Maggie and Wentworth, for always laughing, even when I was being a complete idiot. My agent, David Lukas, who convinced me to make the move from stand-up to TV. I'd like to thank my co-stars, who are the funniest, sweetest, best people I could have asked to work with, and for never being dicks about being more attractive than me, even though you clearly are. You're the best minions I've ever had. But seriously, I sometimes feel like the show was written for you guys, even though I literally had no idea who any of you were before the first day." Richie scans the room. He sees a hundred people he knows and a thousand he doesn't. He sees friends and idols and people he doesn't even recognize. And in all of them, he sees the one person he wishes were here most, the one person who isn't here.

"And last, but absolutely not least, there's one more person I need to thank. My husband, Eddie, the light of my life. Without him, this show wouldn't exist. When we got together three years ago, I was still using a ghostwriter. It was writing jokes about Eddie that got me to write my own material, and then my agent approached me about writing a pilot for this show, and now here we are, and it all came from him. This show is inspired by our childhood, growing up together, then reconnecting as adults. He's my constant inspiration. I do everything I do for him. He's at home with our son right now, because he said he wasn't going to come all the way from New York to LA just to watch me lose- that's a direct quote. And as he knows damn well, there's nothing I love more than proving him wrong."

He looks directly into the camera now, smiling wider than before. "I won, baby, I did it. And I did it for you. I love you, Eds." He blows a kiss to the camera and flushes, maybe from the heat of the lights, maybe from the out-of-character gesture. He embraces the announcer, kissing her cheek gently as he exits, desperate for the first time in his 43 years of life to be out of the spotlight. He is almost back to his seat when he stops fast, nearly slamming into the figure that he hadn't seen before in the dark theater. His gaze travels up from the impeccably polished shoes to the neatly pressed tuxedo pants, to the burgundy velvet jacket he had custom-made as a birthday present last year. It is Eddie, he knows it is, before his eyes finally meet the tear-filled, puppy-dog brown ones of his husband.

"You came," he says, his eyes turning from gray to a watery black.

"You won," Eddie replies, and Richie's tearful face breaks out in a huge, toothy grin. He cups Eddie's cheek (the one with the scar on it) in his broad, hairy hand, and leans down, pulling Eddie into a long, feverish kiss. The cameras catch every second, but they don't notice, nor do they care. Richie leads Eddie by the hand into the row of seats, and they sit beside each other, their legs scrunched together in the limited leg room.

"I know you didn't come just because I won," Richie whispers. "You would've had to leave seven hours ago. At least."

"I realized, like, two hours after you left that I was basically being a massive piece of shit. So I hopped on the next Delta flight here- way less nice than the Cessna, by the way- changed in the airport bathroom, and came straight here. I had to call David and have him talk to security just so I could get in. Apparently, the photos of our wedding are not enough to prove we're married."

"I'm glad you're here." Richie intertwines his fingers with Eddie's, then gasps. "Fuck. What'd you do with the baby?"

"First of all, you gotta stop calling him 'the baby.' Stan's almost three."

"Yeah, but he's my baby."

"Good luck with that once he hits school age, my love. And in terms of what I quote-unquote 'did with him', I called that sitter, the one Blake and Ryan recommended at poker night. And before you asked, yes, I interviewed her; yes, she speaks three languages; yes, she can bake, play guitar, and has half the best doctors in Manhattan on her speed dial. She's perfect, and has been texting me updates every half-hour." Richie's head lolls onto Eddie's shoulder, and they nestle into each other like puzzle pieces. Richie's show wins again and again, the articles the next day will say it swept. Richie's hotel room is paid through for another day, but Eddie helps him pack. They load what little luggage they have into the back and take off (the first thing Richie did after returning from Derry was get his pilot's license). The palm trees and city lights below give way to dark, lightless desert, and then mountains, then cornfields and lakes and long stretches of empty plain. And then, just as the dark violet sky begins to fade into the faintest streaks of yellow and pink and blue, just as the star begin to disappear and the moon becomes almost translucent, the silhouette of the New York skyline appears against it.

"Home again," Eddie says, his eyes tired, but he has never looked happier, except maybe the first time he saw Stan.

"Finally." The plane touches down at an airfield in Queens, and they step out, stretching their tired limbs. Richie stares up at the sky, in which the sun is steadily rising. They go home to their Upper East Side condo, careful to shut the door behind them as quietly as possible. The windows are dark, but a thin stream of light flows out from under one of the bedroom doors, the one with a big green 'S' tacked to it. They open the door as softly as they can and look in on the young, curly-haired boy asleep, his Star Wars nightlight the source of the light. They leave him asleep, and the Emmy on the mantle. Eddie steps into the bathroom, and Richie can hear the shower start. He tosses his jacket on the chair in the corner and yanks his shirt and tie over his head. He goes to the terrace and looks out at the East River below. It's a chilly early morning, very early, and the breeze ruffles the thin layer of dark hair on his bare chest. He hears a honking horn, a couple arguing, glass shattering and water crashing. They are all sounds he heard before, in Derry, in Chicago, in Los Angeles. But they sound different here. Or maybe he is just seeing the world through new eyes, different eyes. The eyes of a man who has everything he wants. He feels cold tears on his face and brushes them away half-heartedly. He has not realized until now that his life is perfect. Legitimately, genuinely, certifiably perfect. Out of the closet? Check. Dream job? Check. A loving husband and son? Check. And now, one last validation that he is, in fact, on top of the world. It's sitting on his fireplace right now, but it's nothing compared to the boy with the Star Wars nightlight and the man in the shower. They are worth every award, every affirmation, every positive review, every selfie with a fan, everything.

Richie hears the shower shut off and the snap of the towel as Eddie pulls it off the hook. He sits on the bed and wiggles out of his tuxedo pants, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He does not turn around when he hears the door behind him open, nor does he move when the other side of the bed sinks under Eddie's weight. A hand comes to rest on his shoulder, folding around his upper arm. Feather-light kisses brush his other shoulder, tracing a line across his shoulder blades. He twists his upper body around to face Eddie, who smiles serenely up at him. Richie places a hand on his chest, his thumb gently circling one of Eddie's two black star tattoos.

"How's it feel to be back?" Eddie asks, leaning into Richie.

"I liked the ocean air, but I have to say... I missed the smog." Eddie chuckles and fidgets with his his inhaler (it's new, and he carries it with him everywhere. It's more of a security blanket than anything else.)

"I don't know, I mean... since we spent those few months out there shooting the show, I've given it some thought, and... what would you say to moving? Somewhere else? Anywhere else?" Richie looks up in shock.

"You serious?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's not like I want to move back to Derry or anything, but think about it. If we went to Pasadena, or Santa Monica, or San Diego-"

"You really liked California, I take it?"

"I did, but if you think about it, it'd make perfect sense for us. And we wouldn't have to live in the middle of the city. I- I love New York, Richie, I do, that's why I moved here, but it's never where I imagined raising kids, if I imagined that at all. But we loved it there. And Stan loved it there. And if we went there, he could grow up on the beach instead of the sidewalks, and he might actually be able to see the stars at night, and-"

"Okay, Eds, calm down." Richie laughs and flops onto his back. Eddie falls beside him, and they turn to look at each other. "Let's do it?" Eddie cocks an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. You're right, as always. And besides, it's warmer there. It's too goddamn cold here." Eddie curls an arm over Richie and buries his face in Richie's chest.

"I love you, you know that? And I literally couldn't be prouder of you if I tried." Richie pulls Eddie in closer and presses a kiss to the top of his head.

"It's all for you, Eddie. All of it. That statue out there is yours, baby. And so am I."

[theliterateape]

The Cinema of 2019: A Literate Ape End-of-Year Review

By Don Hall and Brett Dworski

Editor’s Note:

With projects like Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Watchmen, The Mandalorian, and pretty much everything produced for the CW, we are smack dab in the epicenter of the Age of Fan Fiction. The films of 2019 have some nods to this trend with Joker, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and Yesterday playing hard and loose with expanding the existing iconography to tell new stories.

We enjoyed a lot of movies in 2019. While not a banner year like 1968 or 1999, the year certainly had its standouts. Here is our end of the year list of the films that impacted us the most compiled by Don Hall and Brett Dworski, both film fans and people with acceptable vision and hearing.

NOTE: These are not ranked because generally, we believe the practice of ranking films is fucking stupid. However, we do rate them from 1 to 5 Apes. Enjoy.

Apollo 11

4 Apes (DH)

There really was a time when America was great. Sure, there was still segregation and violence, the war overseas, the draft, and the host of problems faced by the country but the men and women who took up Kennedy’s challenge to get a human being on the surface of the moon elevated us all. Apollo 11 is a documentary using entirely archival footage of this historic moment when mankind exceeded itself.

Honey Boy

1 Ape (BD)

The anticipated debut of writer Shia LaBeouf is choppy and disappointing. Newcomer Noah Jupe plays child actor Otis—based on LaBeouf—whose drunken father disrupts his recent success. The film’s inconsistencies stem across the plot, casting and performances. The father, played by LaBeouf, flops between abusive asshole and tender daddy by the minute; neither is compelling. Lucas Hedges, who plays Otis as a drug-abusing teenager, looks nothing like LaBeouf or Jupe. And once things get interesting, Otis forgives his pop and tells him he’s “going to make a movie about him.” Very original, Shia. The fact that Honey Boy is based on LaBeouf’s life is intriguing, but the film is ultimately a huge letdown.

Midsommar

4 Apes (DH)

Ari Astor gives us a twisted break up story wrapped in the bloody flowered crown of a horror film set in blinding sunlight. I loved Hereditary for a million reasons. I loved Midsommar for five: Florence Pugh, the bizarre mating ritual, the fucked up mushroom visuals, old people willingly plunging to their deaths, and a dude being stuffed into the skin of a recently slaughtered bear and burned alive.

Dolemite Is My Name

3 Apes (BD)

Eddie Murphy rewinds the clock to his Raw and Delirious days in this biopic of Rudy Ray Moore, a comedian and musician behind the Blaxploitation movement of the 1970s. While wildly erratic at times, it’s also an affectionate and sobering look at the hustle of show business. It took years for Murphy to ditch his affable family-man routine, but it was worth the wait: Dolemite Is My Name cements the raunchy, cocksure comic as one of the greatest talents of all time.

Yesterday

3 Apes (DH)

I wrote about this here. Loved it.

The Lighthouse

3 Apes (BD)

Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe are exhilarating in this delirious indie thriller. They play 19th century lighthouse keepers who struggle to maintain their sanity upon learning they’re stuck on an island off the coast of New England. The stunning black and white landscapes of Nova Scotia are overshadowed by Dafoe’s and Pattinson’s constant bickering, farting, masturbating, and binge drinking. The Lighthouse is bizarre, hilarious, terrifying, peculiar… and quite good. You’ll never view seagulls the same way after watching it.

Endgame

5 Apes (DH)

The culmination of nearly two dozen interconnected films all stemming from my Gen X childhood? I’ve been waiting since I read my first Avengers comic when I was ten years old for this and it did not disappoint. Packed with incredibly satisfying moments (Professor Hulk, Cap gets the Hammer, “...on your left...,” and “I... am... Iron Man”) this was the most fun three hours I could imagine that didn’t involve cheese or sex.

The Art of Self Defense

4 Apes (BD)

This deadpan and absurdist comedy highlights toxic masculinity through a ruthless karate class. Jessie Eisenberg plays Casey, a lonely, frightened accountant who enlists in the course after a mugging leaves him hospitalized. Led by a vain and puzzling instructor, the class soon absorbs Casey’s life and brainwashes him to commit barbaric acts beyond self-protection. Although clearly a blend of Fight Club and The Karate Kid, The Art of Self Defense carries an unusual rhythm that separates it from its predecessors—and displays a refreshing kind of filmmaking from newcomer Riley Streams.

Joker

4 Apes (DH)

The politics that suddenly surrounded this were nothing more than distraction. Was it a response to the humorless Woke culture? An Incel Fantasy? Who gives a fuck. It was a film that did something a lot of movies lately refuse to do—it surprised us. It also included an amazing, painful performance by Joaquin Phoenix and, like Logan before it, used the pop culture iconography of the comic book tropes and deepened them in ways that only a bold approach could.

High Life

4 Apes (BD)

Visually-stunning cinematography and a harrowing storyline carry High Life, one of the most daunting films of the year. Set in a futuristic world where death-row inmates are sent to conduct eerie experiments in outer space, High Life is as morbid as it is alluring. The movie—which was made in 2018 but not released in theaters until 2019—resembles a space version of The Shining with its isolation-leads-to-madness concept. While too edgy for some, High Life is one of the most uniquely made films in years.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

5 Apes (DH)

Tarantino’s homage to revisionist history, the plight of growing old and becoming replaceable, 1960s Hollywood, and chock full of snappy dialogue, incredible performances, and both a sense of celebration and melancholy makes this one of the best movies about movies ever made.

John Wick Chapter 3

5 Apes (DH)

With next year’s Keanu-mas when they release both John Wick 4 and the Matrix 4 movies on the same day (yes, I will participate fully) the franchise that spawned the newfound love for all things Reeves is absolutely worth noting. Full of that comic book/video game world-building, odd but sensible rituals and oaths and rules plus plenty of head-shot, bloody violence, I sat in a Las Vegas theater with a crowd and we all gasped, laughed, and applauded at the absolute action-porn that is John Wick. Yes, these films are pornography of comic book violence and Reeves is our big-dicked John Holmes.

The Painted Bird

5 Apes (BD)

Those seeking a feel good shan’t see The Painted Bird, a bloodcurdling Holocaust drama seen through the eyes of a child. Petr Kotlár gives a robust performance as a nameless boy fighting to survive the violent societal breakdown in Eastern Europe. In doing so, he experiences one nightmare after another—each worse than the former—and loses hope in human kindness along the way. The beautifully shot black-and-white landscapes are a mirage for the routine abuse the boy encounters, leaving audiences as numb to it as he is by the film’s end.

The Irishman

4 Apes (DH)

Scorsese caps a triptych of films over decades with this much slower but no less magnificent look into the Italian Mafia from the inside/out. Goodfellas is an Irish kid’s ascent and is an explosive young man’s movie. Casino is a Jewish man’s climb up in the Mob and, while still explosive, is a bit more subdued and a decidedly middle-aged man’s film. The Irishman is an old man’s view, looking back, reliving awful and magnificent moments.

Together, the three films mark a masterwork in a genius director’s canon.

Ad Astra

5 Apes (BD)

Ad Astra takes a different approach than most solar-system journeys by exploring the man behind the suit. Brad Pitt is Roy McBride, an accomplished astronaut whose dedication to space has damaged his marriage. When called upon for secret mission to Neptune, the stoic McBride finds he’s more than a government robot, and his ascent to madness results in one of Pitt’s finest performances. Supported by a wonderfully played asshole in Tommy Lee Jones, Ad Astra is as much a family drama as it is a space adventure.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

5 Apes (DH)

Sure, there were unanswered questions leftover and I really didn’t care for that kiss at the end but I loved this film from start to finish. Completing a story as massive and, in many ways, disconnected, was a tall order and I think Abrams and team did about as good a job as anyone could expect. This will be in rotation at least a couple more times in the next few weeks.

Marriage Story

5 Apes (BD)

Oscar-worthy performances from Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson drive Marriage Story, a clever, poignant narrative about divorce. Noah Baumbach’s behind-the-scenes view of the crippling situation separates it from movies alike, exploring factors beyond courtroom troubles and custody battles. Marriage Story empathetically—and even comically—shows both sides of the fight, and its effect will last far beyond the screen. Get your box of tissues ready.

Alita: Battle Angel

3 Apes (DH)

Not a Manga-Boy so the inconsistencies with the story and characters didn’t bother me. I thought this was the closest to watching a dramatic video game with some cool performances and great use of camera and technology. It was also the film I saw first as a resident of Las Vegas so that counts for something at least to me.

Parasite

5 Apes (BD)

Superbly written, shot and performed, Bong Joon-ho’s account of class discrimination in Korea is an electrifying and emotional masterpiece. What begins as a lighthearted story of two families—one rich, one destitute—spirals into shocking sequences of deception. It has every element of an instant classic: witty comedy, sexual tension, thrilling violence, social themes and a stunning finale that mirrors the horrors of reality. Calling it the best movie of 2019 isn’t enough: Parasite is one of the top films of the decade and transcends the arc of modern cinema.

[hopeintheashes]

I posted 1,345 times in 2021

346 posts created (26%)

999 posts reblogged (74%) ^ i should have waited five more minutes for an even 1k!

My Top Posts in 2021

#5:

[1+5 prompt] The press of the stethoscope against Buck’s chest brings an anxiety only soothed by the fact that Eddie is the one holding it.

The press of the stethoscope against Buck’s chest brings an anxiety only soothed by the fact that Eddie is the one holding it.

"Deep breath--" and that's impossible, has been for hours and hours; if it was anyone else he'd be spitting breathless curses but it's not, it's Eddie, so he tries, he tries, he tries.

(click timestamp to read more)

93 notes • Posted 2021-08-22 18:46:16 GMT

#4:

📝I looove the sweet, domestic/home-y sickfics, but I've also always kind of wanted to see your take on a sickBuck-in-the-field fic. Maybe he was feeling a little off, but some disaster happens -it's all hands on deck so, he jumps in (bc "a little cold isn't worth being a man down"). But then, something happens when they're out responding & Buck&Eddie get separated/lost from the group. Buck takes a turn for the worse & Eddie has to use his field medicine training to try to treat him best he can

He could've called out today.

(click timestamp to read more)

96 notes • Posted 2021-11-26 17:09:51 GMT

#3:

With inspiration from a pumpkin-carving-incident anon ask for the fall prompts, just… softer. <3

"Oh."

"Oh?" Eddie's head snaps up from where he's helping Christopher carve the details of his pumpkin's jagged smile. And then, with this ever-so-slight shift into work mode: "Oh."

"You're bleeding," Chris says, which, yes, is in fact the problem here.

(click timestamp to read more)

108 notes • Posted 2021-10-29 03:29:14 GMT

#2:

First sentence ask - "No, Jee, he's my Bucky, not yours"

"No, Jee, he's my Bucky, not yours!"

He says it in his silliest voice, making faces at Jee-Yun right alongside Buck, but Eddie knows his kid well enough to hear the hint of truth in the words. It's... well, it's a lot of things, seeing Buck with a baby in his arms: this rush of what if, this preview of what could be, first child jealousy and all. He starts to reach for Christopher with a reassuring touch, but Buck is already there: he's been cradling Jee-Yun in his lap with both hands, laid out on his knees, but he moves her to his chest so that he can hold her with one arm and put the other around Chris and says, "You know what Jee-Yun needs to learn is how all the planets got their names."

Eddie sits back again and just watches them as Chris says, "I think she's too little for that," and Buck says, "I don't think so, but either way, tell me; I want to hear it again," and then Chris and Jee are each tucked against Buck's sides, settling back into the couch. Buck catches Eddie's eyes over their heads as Chris starts explaining Mercury to Jee and grins, and, well, maybe they have some more talking about the future to do.

114 notes • Posted 2021-08-18 02:58:12 GMT

#1:

📝 buck being badass!!

He looks like a gymnast.

It's a ridiculous thought when Buck's in full turnout gear, but he's balancing on a beam like he's in the goddamn Olympics, edging toward the little girl who'd gone out there to escape the flames.

I can do it, he'd said, and Bobby had said No, not a chance, and the little girl had screamed for help and Buck had just— gone.

Eddie glances at Hen, who's got her jaw clenched tight, and at Chimney, who's shaking his head and muttering I can't watch with his eyes still fixed on the scene, and he's putting the pieces together that this is a thing that happens.

Not that he hasn't seen Buck badass and fearless in the five weeks since he joined the 118. Hell, the grenade call made that clear. It's just… all coming together, now.

The crowd that's gathered is shrieking and gasping, fear and admiration, and then Buck gets the girl just as the other company's ladder truck finally finds a path through the debris. The crowd is cheering and applauding and Bobby and Hen and Chim sigh with relief. Eddie trails them over to where Buck is handing off the girl to the paramedics. They're all chastising him, but it's through smiles.

Eddie is, as far as he can tell, the only one who's still got a knot in his throat, and another in his gut.

(click timestamp to read more)

127 notes • Posted 2021-11-23 00:27:49 GMT

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