#and during that whole 18 month span she's been dating the guy you called her other boyfriend?

[jonathanbyersphd]

Imagine getting dumped in a bathroom at the biggest party of the year and then a year and a half later being like I am ready to get hurt again

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 18X01

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I was really excited for the Premiere and I have never been so disappointed in my life. It took me a few days to write this review because I’m just so unimpressed. I feel like the only interesting parts of the Season 18 Premiere were the Meredith and Hayes FaceTime call, Levi in that outfit and Jo with that hair, and the interviews. That's it. I mean Teddy and Owen’s two weddings were interesting if you’re a Teddy and Owen shipper, but I never have been so that didn’t really do anything for me.

The pacing of the episode was super slow and it was just altogether boring. There were also just so many inconsistencies. For example, Teddy and Owen originally planned to get married at the park with just Megan, Farouk, Evelyn, Leo, and Allison which doesn’t make sense because prior to their break up they were talking about planning their dream wedding. Now they finally get married and Richard didn’t even know about it? They asked Megan to fly in, but they didn’t tell their friends at the hospital after they just all attended Maggie and Winston’s wedding two weeks earlier?

It’s also not clear if Meredith knows that they got married which is weird because she’s the main character of the show and was an integral part of Owen’s previous two weddings one of which was held at her house. Also, Amelia and Link weren’t there and it’s not clear if they even knew about the wedding which is weird because Meredith, Amelia, and Link were all present when Owen proposed to Teddy at Christmas at Meredith’s house and they are all co-parenting Leo together.

While I appreciated the shift to a lighter tone and that they chose to have this season exist in a post-COVID alternative universe where we can see the actors faces again without the PPE and return to escapism the Premiere didn't pack the punch I was expecting. The premieres are usually super shocking and action packed and this one just wasn't. It was just boring and all of the most interesting stuff happened off camera during the two weeks between the Season 17 Finale and the Season 18 Premiere which is just stupid.

I saw the priest getting hit by one of the cyclists coming a few minutes before it happened based on the promo and the context of the scene and there wasn't a big shocking event like there usually is. The pace of the Premiere really felt off to me. My friend Amy who I watch with every week described it as the pacing you usually associate with a nice stroll through a moonlit garden. Fine for episode two or three or a connecting episode but not the Premiere. I feel like they really misjudged what fans were looking for and I’m hoping that they do the work and course correct now that the Premiere has aired and the completely dismal fan reaction as come out.

One of the few bright spots for me was the introduction of Peter Gallagher as Dr. David Hamilton. I love him as an actor! He's great! His recent roles in Grace and Frankie and Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist were fantastic! I was super excited when I heard he was coming to Grey's. I like Dr. Hamilton so far and I'm interested to see how his relationship with Ellis and Meredith having dreams about her mother following her battle with COVID will play into the story this season. While it would be interesting to see Meredith work in Minnesota temporarily like Cristina did back in Season 9, I don't want her there permanently. Seattle is as much a character in the show as any of the main characters we've come to love, and something would be missing for me if she moved.

To be perfectly honest, it doesn't make much sense to me for Meredith to move to Minnesota permanently when she only knows a few people there. Who would watch her kids? If she's going to move to me, it makes more sense for her to move to Kansas where Alex is or Switzerland where Cristina is. Her kids have already lost their father and so many other caregivers and Meredith has stuck it out in Seattle for so long after everything that's happened that her moving to Minnesota for me would be bonkers.

Also, where were her kids in the Premiere? All of the interviews that came out prior to the Premiere talked about how Meredith’s focus at the beginning of the season would be on her work and her kids, but they were nowhere to be found in the Premiere and it’s not clear whose watching them while Meredith is in Minnesota. The interviews also made it seem like Meredith and Hayes would still be circling each other at the start of the season with quotes about how timing hadn’t been on their side, that they still needed to have an official drink and go out on a date, and that while Meredith wasn’t looking for a relationship one might find her.

That had literally nothing to do with the Premiere we saw whatsoever! The kids were MIA and it turned out that Meredith and Hayes started dating off screen following Maggie and Winston’s wedding and we didn’t get to see ANY of the firsts they talked about so much over the last two seasons. So stupid. The Premiere was a total rip off. I hate that Nick Marsh is back and I’ve never gone from liking a character and an actor to hating them in such a short period of time ever. My God. I’m so pissed off about this. What the hell were they thinking? Why did they think we would want this at all?

Don’t get me wrong, I loved Nick Marsh as a character and Scott Speedman's portrayal of him when he first showed up in Season 14. I was all ready for him to be Meredith's next great love and I was on board. But then he disappeared and was never heard from again and it was reported that Speedman wanted to take a break from TV for a while so I mourned the loss of what could have been and moved on. I sat through the out of character nonsense that was the DeLuca storyline in the belief that eventually that storyline would end, and Meredith would get a real proper love interest that made sense and would be her post-Derek endgame.

So, I was really excited when they introduced Hayes and I have really come to love his character and his budding relationship with Meredith. I feel like I've been waiting forever to finally see them go on a date and I am super pissed off that we didn't get to see it. I would have loved this storyline with Nick if they had introduced it at any previous point in time, but now after they've spent so much time setting up Meredith and Hayes it's just infuriating. I feel immense rage over how they handled Meredith and Hayes and Meredith and Nick’s storylines in the Premiere. I'm so angry. The whole thing just made no sense. That Premiere should never have aired. It never should have gotten past the draft stage. It was that bad. The first date and all of the firsts that come with a new relationship are the most exciting parts of a romantic storyline for me and I love seeing all of that on screen. They hyped Meredith and Hayes’ relationship up so much and even had the two of them talk about 'firsts' and dating after death so for their first date to happen off screen along with Austin's panic attacks and bad reaction to his Dad starting to date again is just such a rip off.

I have stuck with this show through thick and thin and for them to reward that loyalty by having the most interesting parts of that storyline happen off screen while showing a bunch of stuff on screen with other characters that they could have just told us about? So ridiculous. I was so excited for this season and now I'm just angry. I'm hoping that they are building to a big mid-season finale where Meredith is going to return to Seattle and by that time Bailey will have helped Hayes out with Austin and the two of them will finally get together on screen but I'm starting to feel like every time I get invested in one of the Meredith's new love interests, they pull the rug out from under me and I'm getting really fed up.

In other news, I'm not too surprised that Megan and Riggs broke up off screen only because Virgin River, which I love, just got picked up for two more seasons and I imagine Martin Henderson is busy filming that and it looks like Megan is going to be around for a while and they had to explain it somehow. I loved Meredith and Riggs together and I hated how they ended that storyline so I'm not sad about them breaking up off screen.

The Premiere also broke my heart over Amelia and Link’s storyline. It’s just so stupid. It’s drama for drama’s sake that’s all it is and it’s tired. When did marriage become so important to Link? In the span of a few months, he went from being totally fine with not getting married and checking in with Amelia every few weeks on how she felt to convincing himself that Amelia wanted him to propose so he did so at her sister's wedding and used her dead brother's children to do it. Amelia's right the whole thing was super messed up and manipulative and she was right to say no.

Link decided marriage was important to him and that fostering Luna would be totally fine without ever talking to Amelia. Yes, Amelia should have shared her thoughts with him too, but he also should have paid attention. Now their otherwise healthy relationship is over because she doesn't want to participate in an archaic ritual that involves signing a contract and exchanging vows? That's just stupid. I hope they find a way to work it out and get back together because I really like them as a couple.

I like Dr. Michelle Lin the new Head of Plastic of Surgery that Bailey and Richard are looking to hire. I thought for sure after that photo of the other guy made the rounds on social media that he was going to be the new Head of Plastics, but then he said that he doesn't do "free" and I knew he was out. I'm excited for there to be another female surgeon of colour on the show as the gender and racial balance on the show has been more white and male as of late and I think Grey's is at its best when you have a roughly equal number of women and men and as many different races being represented as possible.

I think it makes the storylines more interesting and authentic and personally gives me more characters that I can identify with. This new doctor seems driven, determined, and could have a potentially interesting dynamic with Richard and Bailey. She’s also giving me some Cristina Yang vibes and I’m all for that. I love Cristina. Always have. Always will. That being said, I'm a bit confused as to where they are going with Jo's storyline as I thought for sure the new Head of Plastics would be a guy and her new love interest. But Bailey did say they still needed to hire a new general surgeon and a new neurosurgeon so maybe one of them will be for her?

I can't really say that there was anything I loved about the Premiere which is disappointing. Jo's parenting hair dye mishap was funny, Levi's outfit cracked me up, and I liked that Bailey agreed to help Hayes out, but that's about it. The thing I was most excited for coming into this season was Meredith finally being back on her feet and seeing the romantic storyline between her and Hayes finally come to fruition.

Finding out that she's going to be in Minnesota for the foreseeable future, she and Hayes started dating off screen but had to call it quits because seeing his Dad date someone new caused Austin to have panic attacks, and finding out that Nick Marsh is back? I hated it. I don't understand how the same person who wrote the Season 16 masterpiece “Snowblind” with that amazing snow scene between Meredith and Hayes wrote the Premiere. I just don't understand. I really hope they're not going to do a love triangle with Meredith, Hayes, and Nick because that would just be so stupid.

She's a forty something award-winning surgeon who's a widowed single mother of three. Love triangles made sense when she was young intern, but at this point it's just dumb. I also didn't feel the chemistry this time around between Meredith and Nick like I did the first time. It felt forced and flat. I like Maggie and Winston together, but I didn't find their storyline in the Premiere particularly engaging. I'm glad that Amelia stayed true to herself, but I hate that Link has decided marriage is the only way forward and that they're still fighting.

The only moment that really made me laugh out of the hour was when Jo opened the door and Levi was in that ridiculous outfit. I loved the FaceTime call between Meredith and Hayes, but I hated the context. Honestly, I'm not really excited about any upcoming storyline this season which makes me really sad. I'm usually super positive and hopeful when it comes to this show, but this episode just stomped all over my dreams. All I can hope for now is that they pull a twist and everything I was hoping for happens in the mid-season finale otherwise I don't think I'm going to like this season very much.

Until next time!

[rokutouxei]

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 18 OF 22

how intricately love crosses love; love makes knots; love brutally tears them apart. I have been knotted; I have been torn apart.

- Virginia Woolf, the Waves

 --

Her phone receives three calls in the span of an hour.

The first one is from an old friend, who rings to ask her how she’ll feel like being neighbors again. Her friend is planning to apply to the university’s MA program, and that she’ll be dropping by within the next week to submit some requirements for the application. She’s asking if she’s free, and if they could hang out a little before she goes home. She bites the butt-end of the marker in between her teeth as they’re talking, scribbling out onto the date on her calendar tacked to the wall. It’s a great phone call.

The second one is from the school she’s going on exchange to. A lady with a thick (but lovely!) accent tells her that they’ve finished signing the paperwork she needs to submit for her student visa. That the document is in her email, and that they’ve forwarded the hard copy to the Office of Student Relations, saying that she should pick it up at their office by the end of the week. She nods and thanks them as they big goodbye. When the call ends, she flutters with excitement.

It’s that last call that’s a little more troublesome.

“Busy today, aren’t we?” Vincent comments with a small laugh, their little conversation about the finalized date for the exhibit cut short once more as she excuses herself to take the call. She awkwardly grins at him as she heads out of the studio, ducking into the living room.

“Yes?” A beat. “Oh, yes. Yes it’s me.” Silence. The smile that was originally on her face upon recognizing that it’s one of the OSR staff organizing her trip disappears quickly. “Is… that really the only schedule available, sir?” More silence. “Oh, no, that’s not—” a pause. “I see. I’m sorry. Yes, I understand.” She bites her lip, looks across the house through to the kitchen, eyes gluing distractedly onto the unwashed coffee mugs on the sink. “Of course. Yes. Thank you. This is noted. I’m sorry. Yes.”

She puts the phone down. Stares at the “ended call” screen before she looks up again, catching Vincent’s stare from the studio doorway. He smiles at her. She smiles back, but she feels so weak.

She turns back to her phone with a sigh.

--

She has a solution for at least one of the phone calls: the first one. She rings up her friend the next day and proposes a drinking party.

Says she’ll bring her other university friends to introduce to her, and they’ll hang out, then maybe share in the good energy (and the misery) of being in the same university—likely soon, we’re manifesting it!

They agree to crash at a place downtown for the night, everyone pitching in for an Airbnb in the middle of a school week. She invites Dazai, and Isaac, and Arthur; they each invite some other familiar faces, Napoleon, Leonardo, and Sebastian, of course—her friend’s brother.

She doesn’t know if she wants to invite Theo.

Only because it’s been… weird.

She’s sure she wants to invite Vincent, though, and inviting him is tantamount to inviting the other, so she does anyway. But because fate is a cruel tutor, the exact reverse of what she has wanted to happen, happens.

Vincent apologizes profusely, saying he’s in the middle of a rather time-sensitive painting (something about painting while the paint is not entirely dry, and his timer is set to just about tonight) so can she bring Theo instead?

And she knows the drill. Theo does not say no to Vincent.

Theo, of course, could just lie to his brother, a little white lie about coming with her to the little Korean barbecue drinking party they had planned tonight, to introduce her group of friends to her childhood friend, who was in the campus lately because she had applied for an MA in the very same department.

But Theo doesn’t.

He goes with them, just as Vincent had expected him to.

Gets in the small van and listen to Arthur and Dazai sing along to the annoying song on the radio way too loudly, the windows rolled down, she and her friend laughing at the boys making a ruckus, her friend’s quiet, stern-looking older brother focused on driving them out of the campus.

Theo wonders if he should’ve lied, after all.

But he knows that even if he knew that he should’ve, he would have come anyway. Because he knows himself. Knows that he will be lying to everyone else and denying it with his whole chest but in truth, he knows that he is just buying some more time with her. Even if that is time spent sitting at the end of a grill table flipping meat as the rest of the table laughs and makes a cacophony of noises, half-drunk on cheap alcohol. Even if that means just sitting next to her as the long night passes, silent in their fullness, not speaking, not breaking the illusion that everything is alright, that she won’t be leaving him soon, that there’s so much brewing in his chest and he still…

Doesn’t have the courage to tell her a single word of it.

--

Her hands are numb with her nerves, but the night goes… surprisingly well.

She and Theo hang around each other, passing barbecue and utensils, but they do not… have an explosive argument like she feared they would have. She reminds herself that they have nothing to argue about, that nothing had been done wrong. Still, she doesn’t want to make a scene out here. She’d told her friend she was going to introduce her university friends, and a shouting match in an airbnb isn’t exactly what friends do.

Instead, she pretends like nothing is different. Like nothing had changed drastically over the past few days. Teases Arthur and Dazai as they huddle each other and have excessive amounts of PDA that would have been unacceptable if they were actually a couple. (“They get a free pass because they’re fuck buddies?” “Mmhmm, somehow it doesn’t count.” “Who said it doesn’t count?! This is scandalous!” “Arthur did. …Wait a minute.”) Gapes at Sebastian and his very obvious mental hard-on for Napoleon, who is busy discussing with him something about a historical note on food rituals in the 1600s, or something—she really isn’t paying attention. Texts Isaac with a winky face waiting for him to finally get here like he promised he would.

Ignores the one person she wishes she could talk to right now but does not have the courage to.

And just as Theo makes his way out to the porch, maybe to sober up, maybe to get some time to himself, her friend, face already flushed with alcohol, a silly grin plastered on her face, elbows her lightly, “So, which one of these cuties is the one you’re pining for?”

“Give me a minute,” she says, as she gets up on her feet to follow Theo walking away.

--

Somewhere in between pizza and the first two or three rounds of beer, Theo goes out to the terrace for a little bit of silence. He’d expected her three usual suspects to come—Isaac, Dazai, Arthur—but he hadn’t expected a crowd, especially not of people he barely knew. The whiskey that Leonardo guy had handed to him was pretty strong, too. He’s still standing straight, but his mind is already spinning in circles.

On one hand, seeing her act so normal gives him some sort of relief. This is what he wanted for her. He wanted to step back, fold the dog-eared parts of his heart back onto itself so that he doesn’t notice them—the bookmarks of affection he’d left along the edges of their friendship’s pages. And sure, pulling away was a feat on its own, particularly because he knew she was leaving, and that made him want to spend even more valuable time with her, but—

This is better for her. He knows that. He understands that. And he’s willing to give that to her.

Besides, she said so herself. She no longer wants anchors.

But on the other hand, seeing her act so normal, so oblivious when he’s torn himself open to give her peace of mind leaves an undesirable taste in his mouth.

But it’s not like he could tell her.

Theo’s just about downed the rest of the whiskey in his glass when she comes out to the porch, the sight of her face like salt to the wound.

It takes him all his strength to smile.

“Mind some company?” she asks, and he shakes his head, leaning against the barrier carefully. “Too loud inside?”

He laughs. “The whiskey was crazy.”

She nods. “Leonardo has a ridiculous alcohol stash. A wildcard during drinking parties.”

She closes the door behind her and leans against the balcony next to him, taking a deep sigh. She’s close enough to him that Theo can smell the faint citrus of her perfume.

Theo doesn’t know what to say but he knows he wants to talk to her.

“Nice shirt,” he says, eyes trained on the pastel yellow linen of the off-shoulder blouse she’s wearing. “Color suits you.” She smiles—even if it hurts a little—and shrugs to emphasize them when he points it out.

“Thanks,” she says. “Finally the season to wear bright colors, you know.”

In his mind, she is still beige coat and black boots in the middle of fall. But even that feels like an entire lifetime ago. The months have gone by in a haze. Theo begins to feel the weight of regret—of letting it pass by out of his grasp—sink inside his gut.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Theo says off-handedly, eyes turned to the ceiling. “Busy?”

“Yeah,” she says, with a half-sigh that’s dragged out of her. She takes a breath and leans her back against the veranda as well, but she looks downward, instead. At the corner of his eye, he catches her pursing her lips as if choosing what to say. “Paperwork.”

“Welcome to bureaucracy,” he jokes, and the two of them laugh.

But just a little.

As if they both knew they were hiding something else underneath the laughter.

“How’ve you been?”

It’s a simple question. One they’ve asked each other a million times before. One that doesn’t have to feel as heavy as it does right now.

“Okay,” she says, but her voice falters. “Could be better.”

Theo hums. She knows that means me too.

“But it’s going great, you know. For both of us.”

That makes him turn.

“With, with the exhibit, right?” she follows up, caught off guard by his gaze. “And with the scholarship, and you’re on your last class, aren’t you? Pre-thesis?”

“Hopefully,” he says.

She smiles at it. “Will be, I promise,” she says.

For a moment, the two of them stand there next to each other in silence. Which should have been normal and comfortable between them, but today…

Today is different.

With another sigh, she decides to just go for it.

“Can I just… get straight to the point?” she asks, as if cautious.

Theo nods, even when his heart is twisting into knots.

 “Why have you been ignoring me?”

When she says it, it sounds like her voice is crumpling with the weight of the words.

Theo doesn’t dare look at her. Eyes open but still trained at the ceiling, he says, “I haven’t been ignoring you.”

Her face scrunches up, for the briefest of moments, into a potent kind of anger. An expression that clearly spoke then what the hell have we been doing?! without even a word. Then, it dissolves into something gentler, like defeat. “I’m not mad… just tell me if there’s something wrong?”

A plea for help. Theo hates how transparent he’s become to her, over the few months. Theo wonders if she has something she doesn’t have the courage to tell him either.

“Nothing is wrong,” he insists, closing his eyes as if it makes saying it easier. “It’s just been busy. Like you.”

“Then can I ask why you’ve been upset?”

“I haven’t been upset.”

Theo doesn’t like the feeling. The lie is acid in his mouth. He can avoid questions, he can dodge them, he can make up the most convoluted reasons to divert them—but he does not like lying.

He isn’t lying. He’s not upset.

He’s distraught, and that’s not the same thing.

“Arthur says you’ve been out of character.”

Somehow, the idea that she’s been keeping tabs on him doesn’t make him feel any better. “You know how Arthur is.”

“Arthur doesn’t lie.”

Theo quickly snaps, turning toward her with narrowed eyes. It makes her recoil. It’s an ugly feeling. Theo thinks he deserves it. “Are you saying I do?”

With a deep breath, instead of shouting back, she only shakes her head. “I’m not. You don’t.” She bites her lip as she turns her eyes back to the ground. “…though I kind of wish you were.”

“What?”

She doesn’t answer. Not right away, anyway. Theo looks at her and tries to figure out the expression on her face. It contorts, half-pain and half-pity.

He doesn’t know for who.

“I don’t want to leave like this, Theo,” she says after what feels like forever, her voice as fragile as snowflakes. “It’s like I’ve lost you. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t know where you are. Something happened that made you drifted away. I don’t know what it is. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what it is. I don’t—do you know how important you are to me?” She pauses, out of breath. When they make eye contact, they both look away. “You are important to me. So if something happened, tell me.”

Nothing ‘happened’, he wants to tell her. Something ‘happening’ implies that there was something that changed the way things are. But nothing changed. It’s always been like this from the start. That she was going to go, and he was going to stay.

Nothing happened, it’s just his stubborn heart refusing to shut up or speak up. He doesn’t know which is worse.

Theo doesn’t want to speak because the last time he had spoken they had fought over the one thing that is the most important to her. He doesn’t want to speak because he doesn’t know what it is that he can say.

She takes his silence as a denial.

“Does this just not mean as much to you as it does to me?”

“You’re my friend,” is what he says. Not an answer, but a response.

“Then why won’t you tell me?”

From the inside, there’s a sound of glasses clinking. Someone must have initiated another shot for everyone. But the cheerful laughter that rolls out the window does not lessen the weight of their conversation.

Maybe it makes it worse.

“Dazai says you don’t want me to go.”

The lilt of her voice says curiosity, not anger. That relieves Theo only the slightest bit.

He doesn’t look at her. “That’s a lie.”

“Then why did it make you so upset?”

“I told you, I’m not upset.”

“Not-upset enough to avoid me for weeks?”

“I wasn’t avoiding you.”

“Look, Theo, if you just—”

“You want to go away, so go away,” he says, sharply. He doesn’t like where this conversation is going. He doesn’t want to tell her. He doesn’t want to be someone holding her back. Maybe if he tears at the string holding them together hard enough, she’ll be able to sail away.

But what he said only makes her fold even deeper into herself, distress written plain on her face. Like something snapped inside of her. Guilt begins to tear at him, but this is the only way he knows how to do this. It will hurt, but these are only growing pains. “Are you still holding that against me?”

“I’m not holding it against you.”

“Yes, that’s probably exactly why you brought it up,” she says, her voice now louder. “All of that, all those days and weeks together and you’re still clinging on to that conversation at the rooftop, aren’t you? We don’t need to see eye to eye on it, Theo.”

“I agree, we don’t.” Every word she says in that broken voice makes it harder and harder for him to not just tell her the truth, but he knows he can’t. It will cost them both too much. “I’m still allowed to have my thoughts on it.”

“Right, right.” She laughs. A dry sound. “So you would feel bad, then, huh? That I got offered the finishing course? That I’m considering staying there. Forever. Finish my degree there. Maybe work there. Is that it? Are you going to get mad at me for that?”

For what feels like the billionth time tonight, he says: “I’m not mad at you—”

“Do you know how much this hurts?” she interrupts, but this time her voice is small, like it’s hiding in the back of her throat. She could shout at him all night but it’s this tone that makes Theo hurt the most. “I just thought you’d be a little more supporting, you know, you’re my friend, after all, but…”

“I do support you. I won’t be stopping you from leaving,” he says.

“Then why does it hurt?” she blurts, and it’s obvious on the look on her face that she hadn’t meant to. She turns her back to him, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She takes a few shuddering breaths in the silence Theo doesn’t dare get in the middle of, and continues, “why did it seem like you were disappointed?”

Theo stops. Genuinely doesn’t know what to say, just stares at her back in front of him, feeling like she’s already disappearing out of his grasp. That if he reaches out to her right now he won’t be able to reach her—so he does, stretching a hand to see if he can still touch her, the soft cotton of her cardigan—

And he does, and it makes her turn toward him, anger in her eyes.

“I’m not disappointed,” he says. It’s all he can say. It’s the only truth that his mouth can form a shape around. “I’m very proud of you.”

And somehow—somehow that makes it worse. “Then act like it!” she says, tears already stinging the corner of her eyes. “Don’t just push me away and then expect me to be fine with it.”

“I wanted to give you space and let you focus on what you have to do.”

“I didn’t want to focus you out of my life, Theo!” she says. She looks at him like a wounded beast, pain radiating everywhere. “You don’t get to decide what things I add or cut off from my life, you do know that right?”

The thing is, he could admit right now. Could just tell her that he’s been running himself sick wondering if he should tell her. But he doesn’t want to tell her. Why would he, when all she’s ever really wanted was to go away? Why would he when all she’s wanted was to be free of anything that’s holding her down, and he doesn’t want to be that.

He wants her to go.

He does. Or maybe he doesn’t. It doesn’t matter, because he knows what he has to do.

He’s always been the one that stays.

Which is just a prettier way of saying he’s the one that gets left behind.

Her voice takes him back to the present, the sound of it sinking in his brain.

“Did you ever stop to consider what I’d feel about this?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re my friend, I wanted you to be by my side and—”

“I’m sorry.”

“—it’s not that I couldn’t have done it on my own, but—”

“I’m sorry.”

“—you don’t know what’s going on in my head all the time and I don’t know what goes on in yours,” she says. “Theo, what if I told you I loved you?”

He falters for just a moment, but then he says: “I’m sorry.”

Silence. She looks at him for a long moment, her eyes glassy. No tears fall.

Maybe if they begin to roll down her cheeks, she might just get him to say it.

The tears might get him to hold her face in his hands, wipe the tears away, tell her he loves her too, tell her he still wants her to go.

But before they can, she turns away from him and goes back into the room, shouting as she enters: “Oookay, I’m too sober! Give me some more of that gin!”, and the door closes behind her with a small click.

Theo stands outside on the porch in the late spring night, with no words left in him.

--

They stay away from each other for the rest of the night.

Theo wakes up just as the sun is about to rise. Napoleon, Leonardo, and Sebastian seem to have taken shelter in the house’s other bedrooms—but he, Arthur, Dazai, Isaac, her friend, and her have camped out in the living room to sleep.

Theo’s eyes scan the room. Professor Newton arrived late last night but joined in just as he’s promised. Her friend had clung all night to Newton like a flirty leech, and the usually-reclusive man had no choice but to stay still and… well, stay flustered; Theo wakes up to him draping his jacket over her friend, as he tries to leave ahead of everyone else to make it to his morning class.

Across the room, Dazai and Arthur are also already awake, watching something intently on Dazai’s phone, giggling and with their hands held together in between them over the blanket. Theo doesn’t know at this point if they are lovers or really just fuck-buddies, but he yearns anyway—to be able to have the courage to connect like that.

And next to Theo, she is asleep, huddled under a blanket with a silly print, a large cartoon penguin sitting on top of an iceberg. The penguin has its arms raised wide, open, laid upon her side like protecting her from danger. From him. And Theo—Theo is about to reach out his hand and brush off the stray lock of her hair that’s now dangled in front of her face, trying his best to not wake her up with his movement.

She makes a small sound, and Theo’s heart stops for a moment, but then she does not wake up.

She’s right there next to him, and she hasn’t left, and it’s still spring, so she isn’t leaving soon, but Theo already feels so lonely. To whom will he recite the interesting lines of poetry that he encounters? To whom will he discuss all sorts of philosophies with, sitting in the alcove, waiting out the rain? Who else will be at the bookstore every week, aggressively haggling for books that already are in set prices, who else will team up with Arthur to make his head hurt? Who else will ring their little bike bell when they pass the bookshop at odd hours of the day?

His hand grazes just the tops of her cheeks as he tucks the stray lock of hair away behind her ear. He imagines the flush of it, should she be awake. But she is not awake, and he gets to be alone in his loneliness. His touch hovers there for just a moment, memorizing her warmth, before he pulls his hand back, and turns away.

Across the room, Arthur is watching, and shaking his head in defeat.

[oookaline]

A response to this tweet:

https://twitter.com/LETMEVOL6/status/1318301718610923520?s=19

"ok. i’m bout to ask a question to the larries. yalls whole argument is that simon and modest are homophobic right? please explain to me how Harry got away with being such a strong advocate for the LGBTQ+ community while being in One Direction? Why was harry the only one dropping hints on his sexuality. if they were so dead set on pushing this heterosexual narrative onto the boys then how did Harry get away with the things that he did? harry was dropping hints at his attraction to males. no, not with over analyzed song lyrics. i mean dead ass saying it. I genuinely want to know because Harry‘s been out of the closet for years now .y’all claim that Louis is closete. Harry managed to get out of the “evil clutches of Simon Cowell“ what stopping Louis and doing the same? unless this whole Larry theory was a lie and y’all were bored like, can someone please tell me why that happened? if Harry is allowed to be so open about his sexuality what stopping louis? if Harry got away from Simon would stopping in Louis they all have the same opportunity Harry may be the richest member but Louis can’t be that far back so tell me how did Harry manage to get away and be so open about his attraction of males and louis didn’t? i genuinely don’t get that."

Harry has been refering to his partner as gender neutral since forever, its not something he dropped hints on.

Not only that you have to also consider the narratives management pushed upon each of them aswell: Ima try to do a brief summary on H and Lou only, as this is reffered to Larries.

Louis: Perfect Boyfriend, a stable girlfriend throughout the years, influencer pretty girlfriend, no background on her so no backlash, constant papwalks on them and the occasional 'theyre toguether' tweets. Literally what it would be normalized as a happy relationship.

Harry: Fuck Boy, dated a lot of people, womaniser, headlines every week linking him to a new person, kendall, Taylor, Caroline etc, all big names yet all stunts, papwalks, 18 months of dating or interaction then never talked about again, the boy to wisk you away to a magical night then leave you the next morning.

Now taking these both you can see they are very different narratives, thus enabling them for two very distinctive ways to hinting at their sexuality with us.

Louis due to stunt reasons had to make his love songs (or his songs overall) seem like they hint at a specific girl, eleanor. Building up on the narrative they've had over the years. So while he can't directly call out his 'perfect woman' in gender neutral pronouns like Harry does, he CAN on the other hand choose what he specifies her as: a good chef, long brown hair paired with a british accent.

Very specific things that very obviously link to Harry while making press and hets think its towards Eleanor.

That one interview which didn't air where Louis said he had a boyfriend...

But this is just verbal. Lyric whise Louis has been more open and smart then anyone I've ever listened to-

The lyrics directly paralleling gay relationship, the struggles, the fear of not being able to be with them... Everything that a Heterosexual reletionship would NEVER experience. A few examples:

→Alive - One Direction (Louis) MM

"My mama told me I should go and get some therapy"

"I asked the doctor, "can you find out what is wrong with me? I don't know why I wanna be with every girl I meet"

"I can't control it"

"She said, "hey, it's alright Does it make you feel alive?"

"We got to live before we get older. Do what we like, we got nothing to lose. Shake off the weight of the world from your shoulders. Oh, we got nothing to prove"

"Went to a party just after the doctor talked to me, I met a girl, I took her in up to the balcony, I whispered something in her ear that I just can't repeat, She said, "okay" but she was worried what her friends will think"

This whole song is about questioning you sexuality and realizing you like the same sex.

Read over the lyrics and change:

girl - boy

she/her - he/him

and you'll see what I mean

���End Of The Day (Louis and Liam) MITAM

"Love can be frightening for sure"

"All I know at the end of the day is you want what you want and you say what you say, And you'll follow your heart even though it'll break, Sometimes"

"All I know at the end of the day is love who you love, There ain't no other way, If there's something I've learnt from a million mistakes, You're the one that I want at the end of the day"

"The priest thinks it's the devil, My mum thinks it's the flu, But girl it's only you"

"When the sun goes I know that you and me and everything will be alright, And when the city's sleeping, you and I can stay awake and keep on dreaming"

this whole song (apart from that one "girl") is just a huge gay awakening. If you keep the girl its a wlw anthem then.

some more exaples from scattered songs:

"There's a moment when you finally realize, There's no way you can change the rolling tide" -Ready To Run

"There will always be the kind that criticize, But I know, yes I know we'll be alright" -Ready To Run

"Told myself I kind of liked her, But there was something missing in her eyes" -Home

"I was stumbling, looking in the dark , With an empty heart, But you say you feel the same"-Home

"Still high with a little feeling, I see the smile as it starts to creep in, It was there, I saw it in your eyes" -Home

"But I know you're only hiding, And I just wanna see you" -Through The Dark

"And I can see your head is held in shame, But I just wanna see you smile again" -Through The Dark

"And I will hold you closer, Hope your heart is strong enough" -Through the dark

"People say we shouldn't be together, We're too young to know about forever" -TDKAU

"They don't know about the things we do, They don't know about the "I love yous"-TDKAU

these are just some out of the many Louis wrote. You can see where I'm going with it now.

and im not even going to touch i to all the shading Louis did with his clothes, tattoos, actions etc...

Now, Harry 'got away' with those actions because of various reasons, but I wouldn't say that he got away, I'd call it more of a "You stop me from doing this we will get backlash for possible homophobia and then y'all lose money so suck it up fuckers we're going on a rainbow ride" which is true; Yes, Harry did always refer to his ideal partner in gender neutral forms, but during the rainbow direction project was when he really amped it up so he could always go with the casual "I'm just supporting my fans, there's no harm in that" when confronted about it, which includes him waving the flags around and all the other stuff.

But it also seems you all are forgetting about how along with all the Queer!Harry we got, we also got more and more headlines of Wom!Harry, more stunts and etc: 5 different official relationships (not counting Kendal twice, which would make 6) between late 2014-early 2016 ALSO NOT COUNTING RUMOURED GIRLFRIENDS which then would make the list go so much higher, Harry couldn't before and still can't hang out with WOMEN or else there will be rumours of them dating.

And this doesn't happen with Men :/ He can hang put with multiple men, and there probably will be barelly one and a half articles written about it -only by small outlets- which in comparison to when he is seen hanging our with a 'mysterious woman' we'll get hundreds of articles about it in a span of an hour.

So what I'm trying to say is that sadly he can still call his ideal partner a he and be seen kissing a guy that the media probably will focus on the chick on the background and write an article like "Harry Styles seen out with friends in LA and he seemed extra cozy with mysterious blonde".

But again, the same with Louis, he hints at us about his sexuality so much, be it us the only one who properly listens to him.

With his songs and the flags and the pins and everything.

Here's some of his lyrics from the Oned era:

"We were meant to be but a twist of fate, Made it so you had to walk away" -Happily

"I don't care what people say when we're together"-Happily

"I can't even think straight but I can tell, You were just with her"-JABOYL

"And nothing's ever easy, That's what they say"-JABOYL

"Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down, Right now I'm completely defenseless"-If I Could Fly

"I've got scars even though they can't always be seen, And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing"-If I Could Fly

"One day you'll come into my world and say it all, You say we'll be together even when you're lost"-Something Great

"I want you here with me, Like how I pictured it, So I don't have to keep imagining"-Something Great

"The script was written and I could not change a thing, I want to rip it all to shreds and start again"-Something Great

"You're all I want, So much it's hurting"-Something Great

So yeah, its sad that you just alienated that one thing without having context nor looking at the bigger picture. If I missed anything please tell me. :]

sorry for the long post

(copied from my answer on twitter)

[naancypants]

@maddarc you inspired me with this headcanon idea!! I wasn’t sure how to write something like this using regular scenes, so I tried something a little different to help span the time gaps. It’s not the best thing I’ve ever written lol but I just kinda threw it together so it’s whatever, here's a thing ✌ (@nancydrew-onthecase)

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow is my 14th birthday. Since mom is getting me the new Playstation system that I asked for, she made me agree to keep a diary. She thinks it’ll be good for me to write stuff down. But honestly, I don’t even know what to write about. This is gonna be awkward.

Joe

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Dear Diary,

Okay... I did a terrible job at keeping a diary. Whenever mom asked if I was using it I told her yes, but I think she could tell that I wasn’t - she didn’t give me crap about it, though. I’m 15 now, and Frank & I are deep in training to become ATAC agents. That’s the company our dad owns - American Teens Against Crime. We’ve been solving petty mysteries since we were kids, so I guess this is a natural progression for us. An awesome one, too! We get to use so many cool gadgets and go on the best adventures! The secrecy is exciting, but according to Frank, I’ve never been the best at keeping my mouth shut. I guess we’ll see how it goes.

Joe

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Dear Diary,

Frank and I finished off the BIGGEST case of our careers last week! We’d been called out to this small town called River Heights because there was a serial bank robber who’d been evading police for a couple of months - but the best part is we didn’t have to solve the case alone! We met this girl named Nancy; her dad is a business contact of our dad’s. She’s super smart. She figured stuff out even faster than Frank! And when I suggested we go to the ice cream shop to talk over the case - much to Frank’s dismay - she just laughed and said “sure!”. Take that, Frank. It was a lot of fun... she’s a lot of fun. And she’s pretty. ... Stop looking at me like that. Not that you’re looking, because you are a book. But you know what I mean. Or I guess you don’t, because you are a book. But anyway... I hope we get to work with her again, that’s all.

Joe

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Dear Diary,

We’ve gotten to work with Nancy a lot more than I thought, considering how far away we live. She’s cool because she never complains when I want to do something fun, unlike Frank. And I know I said this last time, but she’s reeeally smart. It’s honestly kind of amazing. For one case, we had to break into this abandoned house because Nancy had a hunch - as soon as Frank saw the “no trespassing” signs he was totally going to be a baby about it, but Nancy got him in line real quick. She took a pair of wire cutters and made a hole in the fence for us to crawl through, JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES! And then she picked the lock of the back door with a bobby pin in like 5 seconds flat! My jaw was literally on the floor. They teach us how to lockpick in ATAC training, but we always have actual lockpicks to do it. I’m hoping Nancy can teach me her method one day.

And... okay, yeah, I guess you can look at me like that. Fine. You win this time, diary.

Joe

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Dear Diary,

It’s been almost 6 months since we first met Nancy and a lot has changed since then. For one, I recently learned that she’s been dating this guy named Ned for like a year & a half now, or something like that. Who’s keeping track? Two, Frank basically bullied me into admitting to him that I.. have a crush on Nancy. He’s not going to tell her though, not that I think he would anyway. He gets all weird and dorky when he tries to talk about feelings. It’s not a good look. Either way, there’s no chance in H-E-double hockey sticks that Nancy and Ned will ever break up, and I’m happy for them! He’s such a good guy it’s insane. Probably better than me, and that’s saying a lot.

Joking aside... I’m going to try to get over Nance. There’s no point in feeling this way about her if it’s never gonna happen!

Joe

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Dear Diary,

I swear to God Frank is acting weirder every time we see Nancy. He KNOWS that I had a crush on her but he KNOWS that I don’t anymore... or does he? I think he thinks that I still do, but I’ve done a good job at blocking it out. We’re 18 now, so it’s been a while. I normally don’t even think about it until Frank starts acting like a total loser around her and then I’m like...??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? Anytime Nancy mentions Ned or their relationship or anything to do with love, he starts stuttering and blushing and acting all goofy. I’ve started having to fake-tease HIM about having a crush on her just to make it less awkward! I didn’t realize he was sooooo dense when it comes to romance. When I asked him about it, he said my former crush on Nancy was useless information that he wishes I hadn’t told him (NEWSFLASH: he made me tell him) and now he just doesn’t know what to do with it. Nancy seems to think it’s totally normal, but he looks like an idiot.

Joe

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Dear Diary,

It’s been a long time. I’m 24, Frank is 25. I think it’s funny how the only thing I ever really wrote about in here was Nancy Drew. It’s ironic, too, because that’s exactly who I’ve come to write about again.

She’s going through a lot right now and I wish I could be there for her more than I am. I do what I can, but it’s not easy when you live 4 hours away and are constantly being called away on cases. I also don’t want to overwhelm her, considering how long she and Ned were together. It feels... wrong, somehow, that they aren’t anymore. Frank of course has been telling me that I “finally have a shot” or whatever, but I’m not convinced. First of all, she’s only been single for 2 months. Second, she probably thinks Frank is the one with feelings for her, not me; especially with the way the media likes to focus on their relationship. But, as I always joke with Frank, it’s his own fault for making it weird!

Anyway. I feel like kind of a jerk for thinking about my feelings for Nancy when she’s literally going through the worst break-up of her life right now... but it’s weird how thing can pop back up again so suddenly, huh?

And as always, it’s not like I’m gonna do anything about it.

Joe

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Nancy Drew sits on the edge of her chair, sweeping her ponytail so that it drapes delicately across her shoulder. She sucks in a deep breath, fixing her anxious gaze on a random spot in the hardwood of Frank & Joe’s family home. It’s a conversation she’s been avoiding ever since her break-up with Ned 10 months ago. Crazy how time flies. “Frank...” she begins, noticing a distinct discomfort in the detective’s body language as she does so, “I - we’ve all seen the stories. The ones on the news, the speculation... about...?” Frank only stares at her, blankly, with eyes resembling those of a terrified deer. “About the two of us. Being together.” “Uhh, yeah,” Frank scratches at the back of his neck. “I’ve seen them. What about them?” Nancy sighs and allows her shoulders to make contact with the Hardys’ side chair. She crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m a detective, Frank. And I’ve known you & Joe since we were 15. I just want to clear the air about whatever is or is not going on. I guess, to be blunt, what I’m asking you is if there’s any truth to all those rumors.” “You did always have a way of being blunt when you need to be.” Nancy lifts an eyebrow at him, otherwise unmoving in her position. “I... ah, no, Nancy, there -” “It’s okay, Frank, really, if there is. You can tell me.” “It’s not that, Nancy. It isn’t me.” Ding-ding. Nancy hones in on his peculiar choice of words. “What do you mean, it isn’t you?” “I - listen. It doesn’t matter. I told you honestly. Are the rumors true for you?” His attempt to distract her is futile. “What did you mean by it isn’t you?” “Nancy, look. I made a promise that I wouldn’t talk about it.” “Talk about what?” Both Nancy and Frank turn their heads to see Joe Hardy drop his motorcycle keys onto the shelf next to the front door. What serendipitous timing, Frank thinks with a roll of his eyes.  “Nothing,” he says quickly, darting across the living room to the staircase with his hands out in front of him, “I’m letting the two of you talk this one out.” Joe glares after his brother, because despite not knowing what this was about, there’s no way he was going to like it. Nancy approaches him from behind. “All I did was ask Frank if he had feelings for me, like in all the media reports. Then he said it ‘wasn’t him’ and insisted that he wasn’t supposed to tell me about it. Do you know anything about that?” Joe swallows the lump in his throat as his heart rate picks up to about 580bpm. ...At least, that’s what it feels like. Joe’s first instinct is to stop & consider if there’s any way he can worm his way out of telling her at this moment; but at the same time, he thinks it may be better to just let things flow. “Uhh.” ...Okay never mind, decision has to be made. NOW. “Is it... you?” ...Oh, that’s right. She’s super smart. When Joe slowly turns around to face her, he can tell from the glassy look in her eyes that she’s already pieced together the whole thing. And for once, he doesn’t know what to say. So he doesn’t. Her breathing is heavy and uneven, to say nothing of his own. The only sound is the steady ticking of the mantle clock. Joe has no idea why but he has an irrepressible urge to apologize. He just wishes his voice doesn’t crack when he does. “Sorry, Nance.” Her immediate response is to tearfully shake her head and wrap her arms tightly around his waist. “Why are you apologizing?” Joe swallows again, hesitantly allowing his hands to fall onto her cardigan-clad back. “I- I don’t know.” and then after a beat, “Should I?” Nancy chuckles a bit as she pulls back, wiping at her eyes. “You should never have to apologize for how you feel, Joe.” That makes him feel a little better. But then, after an agonizing silence during which they have refused to make eye contact, he feels like sickening nerves start to take up residence in his stomach once again. “How do you feel?” Joe forces himself to ask, bracing for impact. Nancy exhales, placing a hand on her cheek. She has an odd sort of smile on her face that Joe doesn’t think he’s seen in the 9 years he’s known her. “I’ll be honest with you, Joe.” Oh, God. “It’s never occurred to me.” He swallows for the 758th time. Why didn’t he grab some water first? But then, to his surprise, Nancy giggles - like, she actually giggles. He’s never heard her giggle before. “But I think I like the idea.” “Wait what?” She gives him a meltingly genuine smile and steps a little closer. “You’ve always been there for me, Joe. You’ve made me laugh, brought soup when I was sick, gave me a call because I said I was lonely. And you’re always up for an adventure,” she causes his heart to go ballistic once again when she places her palms against either side of his waist, “And you know how much I love new adventures.” Now, at last, a smile cracks on Joe’s face - that goofy, wisecracker smile of his that somehow matches this moment entirely. He nods at her as elation finally makes its way in, and elation is the driving force behind their first kiss. There is a remarkable lack of uncertainty between Joe’s enthusiasm and Nancy’s natural reactions - it’s been a long time coming for one, and for the other, it’s an entirely new adventure.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

[lemonadelyric]

ALL.THE QUESTIONS FOR THAT ASK MEME

1. What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? I use he/him pronouns, please! And I have a lot of identities so uh, be warned. I'm nonbinary! Not really sure on gender, or any specifics. I'm pretty fluid between andro/masc/fem so??? It's a big Question Mark. I'm polyamorous! I'm in a handful of relationships but they're all important to me. I'm also pretty open about loving and appreciating my friends too! I'm pansexual! I'm also panromantic and nebularomantic! I know people debate on pansexual/polysexual/bisexual all the time, and honestly I just go with pan cause I like the flag colors xD But also, it's basically me saying I feel attraction not based on gender/presentation! 2. How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story? Oh oof okay so. I noticed it since I was YOUNG. I always thought girls were cute?? I'm AFAB, for the record. But I always figured that was something everyone was into. Then some people were talking about lesbians and such, and I was like "Well yeah, I'd kiss a girl" SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW WELL THAT WENT OVER. People asked me if I was gay, and I didn't think I was? I liked boys too! Wasn't until probably high school that I finally settled on "Yeah, I'm bi." and then discovered the whole gender spectrum and being nonbinary and so much just fell into place 3. Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it? So I present pretty andro, I think! I don't try to fit a masc/fem scale but like, in person I don't really make a big deal out of it. There was a stretch of time where I went by she/her still, even as a nonbinary. But I switched to he/him about a year ago and it's just GOOD for me. Well.... Someone I really don't like joined the chat where I first decided to go by he/him. They joined, and they bitched to the mods about not liking me, but they called me "she/her" EVEN WITH he/him being in my intro. The mods were friends of mine and corrected them and were DEFINITELY on edge and asked me if I ever went by she/her or if they were purposefully misgendering me. 4. Who was the first person you told, how did they react? I'm pretty sure it was my boyfriend, Eric! They didn't give a shit HAHA, and have been all respectful and everything. 5. Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel? So I don't actually remember when I told them? But it wasn't a big deal actually. 6. If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react? Oof so, I don't think I ever straight up told my mom. But I don't really care what she thinks anyways LOL I did have to tell Eric's parents, though! When we were poly and dating our qpp Reina. (Didn't want to explain those details and shit to them). But telling them that meant telling them I'm gay haha. They totally didn't care and have been so welcoming and accepting, i love them so much ;;w;; 7. What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality? "Why do you need to be polyamorous do you not love your partners does that just mean you want to sleep around you're just using it as an excuse to cheat on your partners" All said from people who don't know shit about being poly. 8. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. Oh god this is so boring. I just wear jeans and tshirts xD Nothing special or SUPER GAY. 9. Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? ROSE/PEARL FROM STEVEN UNIVERSE I don't consume a lot of lgbt media apparently, huh. 10. What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any? Sometimes! Usually no, though. I like eyeliner most of the time. 11. Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you? YES. So with my chest it's more frequent, I also just don't like being as fat as I am. SO that's half my body problems. Bottom stuff is less frequent but usually during That Time Of The Month (Which, I actually haven't had for YEARS, but I started getting again recently, I hate it.) 12. What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community? "Oh yeah I'm inclusive of ace/aro people in the LGBT community!! You have a chemical imbalance in your brain which makes you just like us!!!" Like.. what the fuck. 13. What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? I love how we're all THERE for each other! You join a chat, go "Hey I'm gay" and we're like "GAY??? GAY???? GAY???? GAY????" we're like dogs LMAO 14. What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? Sick of transmeds and terfs and ace/aro exclusionists and shit, fuck off my blog. Also??? Can we stop making jokes about MOGAI identities and shit??? "Lmao this gender is based on being a special snowflake" cool shut up, let people live damn, it's not that hard to just respect people. 15. Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not? Nope :c Everywhere I've lived either 1. there wasn't any close to me/I wasn't out, or 2. ITS TOO DANGEROUS TO GO, or 3. I don't have a car lmao. 16. Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity? Lil Nas X, hands down. He's a great dude. 17. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet? I'm in three right now!! So the first is Eric, we met on an online rp chat website thingy! Second is Chander, we met through a mutual friend and we knew each other like a year then within the span of like two months we started dating and now we live together, 2.5 years later xD Third is Jay! I met him through a kin Discord, we've been friends over a year but it took a few months before we started dating! 18. What is your favourite lgbt+ book? Y'know I don't think I've ever read one. Uhhh... I mean the Black Dagger Brotherhood has a gay couple??? Does that count??? xD 19. Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened? Slightly! Most of mine is about being polyamorous. I have people tell me "That's not enough to be lgbt" paying 0 attention to me also being nonbinary and pansexual. Also had people tell me I'm not trans enough to be nonbinary because I don't want to transition. 20. Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show? One Day At A Time? That's about the only one I can think of LOL 21. Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers? Uuhhh I don't really follow bloggers. 22. Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim? QUEER and gay itself. People act like "gay" was never used against the lgbt community like, bitch, if Hillary fuckin' Duff has to tell some stupid teens in a PSA to not use "gay" like that, then I'm reclaiming it, shut up. 23. Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it? Nope and nope. 24. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you? I'm nonbinary! I use he/him pronouns and it pretty much just means I don't wanna be a boy or a girl. I don't mind being called like "You're a good guy" or whatever. 25. Are you interested in having children? Why or why not? Not really? I'm very selfish and self-centered, I don't think I could handle having a child xD 26. What identity advice would you give your younger self? "You don't have to figure this all out right now! You have time! Also, make friends with gay people. They're not some closed community where if you join and you're wrong they abandon you." 27. What do you think of gender roles in relationships? Eh, nah. Like I'm a big "Yeah sure I'll do laundry and dishes" or whatever. But I'd rather share responsibilities! 28. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? I've been questioning and trying to identify my gender a lot more and get more specific, but I'm in no rush. 29. What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+? We're just people, man. That's it. That's all there it to it. You don't have to have the same feelings as us, but just give us the right to love and marry who we want, or not do that, or have our relationships look however we want. 30. Why are proud to be lgbt+? I'm proud to be LGBT because it means I'm in a community of people who are accepting and caring. It's like a family wherever you go.

Thank you for the asks <3

[steve0discusses]

Yugio S3 Ep 26: Marik’s Low Speed Escape From the Museum

This episode is quite short and contains about two things 1.) this weird 4-way duel that has little bearing on anything except who gets to play Marik and get super cursed first and 2.) flashbacks.

I am so thankful for flashbacks, because this was mostly watching Kaiba doing his damnedest to manipulate Joey Wheeler and Yugi into not working with eachother so that way Joey would lose and go up against Marik when Joey Wheeler has already decided he was going to go up against Marik.

It was very catty. Kaiba at his cattiest. He really thought he was breaking up this friendship of two people who were once chained by the ankles to an anchor when they’re like “no, Kaiba, you don’t get it. Kaiba, this is totally unnecessary, Kaiba. Kaiba, calm down.”

To be fair to Seto Kaiba, he probably absolutely believes that this is what Yugi is going to do before their Senior Year of High School is over. Kaiba kind of lives in a Game of Thrones situation in his head when in reality...he’s in high school playing cards.

(read more under the cut)

We also get a flashback of this show desperately trying to prove to us that they had planned JoeyxMai this whole time. I’m starting to realize this is just how they write most romances on this show, by inserting flashbacks instead of actually showing any romance in the current timeline.

And by romance, I mean aggressive friendship because yes that age gap is...still there. My bro was like “I dunno if they’re even still in High School at this point. I think they wrote them out of High School without telling us” but like, until they show me directly that they have graduated, then I’m just gonna still believe they’re in high school. Except Seto who is like both 18 and 16 and a college graduate at 14 or just never graduated the 9th grade depending on who you’re talking to. Seto will be our outlier of “he’s in class but don’t ask.”

Anyway, lets go hang out with Ishizu to see what happened when Marik decided to pay her a visit at the museum. This occurred directly after she handed over her God card to Seto Kaiba.

Yes, she gave her God card to Seto Kaiba, and then, once he was out the door, decided to lock herself in a vault, just so she could spook her little brother’s cultists. This family and their weird pranks.

But here’s the thing I just realized that I can’t shake. I know it’s a kid’s show so none of this will matter, but let me go a little Ace Attorney on us here and just throw out a very quick “objection!” to the floor because...there’s some continuity issues.

+++++++++++++++BORKED TIMELINE RANT FEEL FREE TO SKIP ++++++++++

(Shocking on this show that has Seto Kaiba’s timeline, that there’d be some continuity issues, but youknow...now we have new one.)

If she JUST gave that card to Seto Kaiba, and she did not leave Japan from the time that she gave Seto the card and the time the tourney started (since this museum show I assume has been in Japan this entire time), then why is Marik here?

Marik came here on a boat in the middle of S2, he made a big fuss about it, but apparently he was already here just weeks earlier. He was already in Japan, then got back on his boat, and just sailed around in the Pacific for a spell before heading back?

Did he just come here to get these cards and then also drop off Bandit Keith???? Except...Bandit Keith was...before Ishizu showed up in the timeline of this show.

Or, and this is might be even more confusing, what if this is happening in Egypt, and it’s a completely different museum, and Ishizu just left Japan at some point to stand in a vault until her brother showed up,and then got back on a plane back to Japan just in time to crash Yugi’s date?

And here’s the thing, lets just pull out that borked timeline. The Ishtar timeline, from the perspective of the Isthars, lets do this.

1. Marik feels like going on a really exotic yachting trip with his cultist buddies and decides to check out Pegasus’ Island off the coast of America(?) While there, he unexpectedly comes across Bandit Keith, who (and this must have been really shocking to every single cultist there who is used to living underground) is violently shot out of a strange slip n’ slide mechanism, that pops him out of a cliff-face and vaults him directly into the ocean. Curious, Marik picks the weird Trash American out of the sea, and he finds out that Bandit Keith knows Yugi, but instead of invading Pegasus’ island where Yugi was currently residing, Marik decides to go allllll the way to Japan (Which is crazy because Bandit Keith did not know what part of Japan Yugi lived in. Japan is freakin huge and made up of several islands.)

2. Since Marik wanted to get to Yugi ASAP, he tosses Bandit Keith onto the coast of Domino in order to abduct Yugi on his way to soccer practice. We can assume this happened...like a few weeks later (I really am not sure how fast his party yacht moves, but like...considering we also don't know where Pegasus’ island is (Maybe like the coast between California and Mexico?????) I can never say.) At this point, Marik probably just peaced out and went to Guam to hang out 20 leagues away from where Noah was currently plotting his revenge.

3. While Yugi is recovering from 3rd degree burns form the warehouse fire, and during which time, Yugi’s doctors were also trying to figure out how the hell to get Yugi to let go of the goddamn golden puzzle that remained in his hands from the moment Yugi passed out to the moment Yugi woke up in the hospital, Ishizu lands in Japan via a plane (although the English version erroneously says she lands in America, because for a little while they wanted to pretend that this entire show takes place in the US.) She unpacks her cargo, sets up a museum exhibit, and then on the news/psychic phone call, invites Seto Kaiba over so she can give a God Card to Seto Kaiba. I assume al that happened the very evening that the museum show opened. Like maybe this happens over the course of maybe a week or so from when Marik left Japan after dropping off Bandit Keith?

4. Shortly after (within the amount of time it takes Kaiba to get the idea to do the tourney and the time to hastily throw it together (which could not have been long, this tourney is a complete disaster)) Marik crashes Ishizu’s museum in.......Japan? Japan or Egypt. Something like that. Considering he wants to go where the God Cards are, he’d probably go to the exhibit that also has the giant God Card tablet that will curse everyone that looks at it. So...probably Japan. However, there are palm trees here, and so maybe it’s Egypt? I don’t know. After that doesn’t work out, he peaces out yet again, and then gets back on his boat for the second time, and goes straight back to Guam or wherever.

5. A few days later, Ishizu crashes Yugi’s and Tea’s date. (and if she has been in Egypt spooking Marik in a vault, this means she had to get off of a plane in order to make it in time to spook this date as well on the other side of the world) She tells Yugi about the tourney because for some reason, Kaiba has invited everyone with invites but just...didn’t send an invite to Yugi for some reason although Yugi is the only reason he’s throwing this tourney. Then she shows Yugi the cursed God Card tablet and then peaces out so she can join Kaiba’s tourney and play cards peacefully while everyone else was getting attacked by cultists.

6. About a few days later into the tourney...Marik arrives in Japan and we act as if this is the first time he ever has and it’s with a MUCH better motorcycle, but we’ll get to that motorcycle later.

It’s not as bad as the Kaiba timeline--I can’t even put the Kaiba timeline in a consecutive order, but mm. This brother sister team realllly likes to travel across the entire world and back within the span of a couple of months, huh?

++++++++OK THAT’S ENOUGH ABOUT THAT TIMELINE, BACK TO THE SHOW+++++++++++

I am so weirded out that Marik doesn’t wear like anything under his cloak. Like nothing. It’s just a gross sweaty cloak and that’s it...and like I have NO idea if he has pants on, they never scroll down. I mean, I assume he has matching purple pants...or probably cargoes, but...does he? Or does he just wear that cloak over a pair of golden boxers?

Also, why is he wearing golden arm bands with a long sleeved cloak? It’s because he knows he’s gonna take that cloak off at EVERY opportunity, right? Like that’s the only reason you would bother with the arm cuffs?

And then we get the most unexpected motorcycle in history.

So like...remember how Marik was hella into Motorcycles? Remember how it was really cool hot rods that made him start towards the evil side in the first place? Think about the coolest motorcycles you know and then...admire this one

This motorcycle that moved so slowly that the cultists casually jogged behind him like it was a parade or something. Like, did he steal the motorcycle from this museum collection?

Anyway, bro let me know that apparently in the Japanese version she’s got armed guards with guns, but they were edited out. Funny thing is, bro also mentioned that since Marik can just mind control people, it makes more sense that Ishizu wouldn’t bring an armed militia with her. I gotta agree, this is the one instance where the English version actually works better.

Although that motorcycle though. Wow. It’s like out of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Marik just stuffed himself into that baby side car, making vroom vroom noises with his mouth as he glides away at a smooth 10 mph.

This is our serial murderer that killed Bakura, folks. It was this guy.

Kinda wish he kept the side car this entire time, that would have been a treat throughout S2.

Anyway, here’s a link to read all the recaps from Ep1 S1 in chrono order.

[kimonobeat]

aiko bon “Profile Interview” Chapter 4 (2/3)

ーHow DID people view you in high school?

aiko: I was everyone’s wing man. (laughs) Every single time we had some kind of event in middle school, I was always busy behind the scenes, helping people out. My teacher even called me “The Matchmaker”. People were grateful, but it sorta just… extended into high school, too. I helped so many couples get together.

ーYou played Cupid?

aiko: I don’t remember any of it, but my friends have been telling me that a lot lately. One guy told me I’d given him a letter, so I asked, “What’d I write?” Apparently I’d written up a profile of a girl I was trying to match him up with, and when I gave it to him, I said, “At least read SOME of this-- she’s a great girl!” They ended up getting married and have kids together now.

ーYou already hit it out of the park, getting them to date by complimenting her!

aiko: Nah, I’m pretty sure I had feelings for him too, but I just let it be. (laughs) I don’t remember doing that at all though. When he told me I gave it to him, I was like, “Hoo boy, what did I write…”

ーDid you bring your friends together like that often?

aiko: Yup. Sometimes I even had to come between them. I don’t remember the specifics, but one of my friends wanted to ask someone out using the ‘Aiko method’. You see, back then we had this way of asking people out called the ‘Aiko method’. Like, one girl would say, “I’m gonna give the Aiko method a try today!” And we’d all go, “You are? Well, good luck!” (laughs)

ーWhat was the method?

aiko: Well, thinking about it now, it was really cold-hearted. Honestly, it’s really embarrassing. You’d ask them out by making it a quiz, sort of. You say, “Mind if I quiz you on something? Answer with either ‘yes’ or ‘no’, ‘kay? I like you. Would you go out with me? Yes or no?” The nice thing about that was it was really easy to answer. Like, doesn’t matter which one you pick, just say yes or no!

ーSounds like it makes it really easy to confess to someone.

aiko: It did! But one time when I asked that and a guy said, “Flower circle!” I remember thinking, “Boy, that was lame.” (laughs) Like, “Hey, that wasn’t one of the options! I said to pick ‘yes’ or ‘no’!” (laughs)

ーWas your method pretty popular for a little while?

aiko: Eh, just so-so. Everyone used to ask each other out after school festivals and field days. Suzumushidera was also kinda popular for that. It’s this temple in Kyoto where you can hear the bell crickets chirping all year round. Doesn’t matter when you go, you’ll hear them chirping. If you go there, you’ll also see Jizo statues wearing straw sandals. Supposedly if you put an ofuda between your hands and say your name and your address, the Jizo will come to your house so he can grant you a wish. I went there too-- everyone did. Like, “You got an ofuda? *whips it out* Well of course I do!” (laughs) All the girls had ofuda charms from Suzumushidera.

ーHow did you know about that place?

aiko: I heard about it from my relatives. When my cousin got sick once, I went to this one temple to make a wish because they told me I should. I started going there after that. Then I started hearing about that temple in magazines a bunch. “Hayashi Mariko gives it an A+!” That sort of thing. The admission fee was also cheap. It was only about 300 yen. And they gave out tea and sweets.

ーDid you go there often?

aiko: I actually only went there 3 times, because it took me about an hour and a half by bus and train to get there from my house. It wasn’t something I could just hop on over to after school because it was a temple, so it closed at like 3 or 4’o’clock. I went there on my days off.

ーDid your wishes come true?

aiko: They did! They were all wishes about love, and all three came true. The people who worked at the temple told people that you shouldn’t wish to be married if you didn’t even have a boyfriend, though. “It won’t come true,” they said. “There’s an order to everything.” That’s why they told people who didn’t have boyfriends to wish for a boyfriend first. After you found a boyfriend, you could wish to be married. “You can wish to Jizo all you want to be married when you don’t have a boyfriend and don’t even like anybody, but it won’t come true!” they said. Which is true! It’s funny ‘cause it makes perfect sense. I spread it around school because I thought it was nice.

ーDid you take leadership roles in class and among your friends a lot? Like, were you the one to take initiative and start doing something instead of just doing whatever everyone else was doing?

aiko: Yeah. I don’t think I was really ever the type to cling to other people. I got chocolates from other girls ever since I was in middle school, too. It was sorta like I had my own fan club or somethin’. (laughs) In the cafeteria I’d tell one of the underclassmen something like, “Oh, I love this magazine. The horoscopes are so interestin’ to read every month, y’know?” Then the following month, I’d see them standing in the hallway reading the latest issue!! Sometimes it really surprised me. People would wish me happy birthday and I’d be like, “How’d you know today was my birthday?” They’d say, “‘Cause I’m in your fan club!” and I’d go, “Wait, what!?”

ーWhat were you like back then? Were you a tomboy? Or like an older sister to them?

aiko: I’m not sure. I was full of energy though. I guess tomboyish… ?

ーWere you ever on the student council or school festival committee?

aiko: I was vice president of the student council during my last year of high school. I wasn’t terribly interested in stuff like that; my teacher asked me to be in it. “If I’m gonna be in this, I’m gonna make it fun.” So then I invited all my friends to join too. The whole student council consisted of my friends.

ーYou basically took over the whole student council. (laughs)

aiko: I guess so. (laughs) The president was the captain of the volleyball team, my best friend was secretary, and the other vice president was on the basketball team. They were all my friends. We spray-painted stars and bears and stuff on the walls of the student council room. One of my teachers said it’s all still there to this day. “We left the stuff you drew. We’ve got some of your history here,” they said. (laughs) So yeah, I was on the student council. I was also the leader of the pep squad during field day.

ーIsn’t it usually a guy who leads the pep squad?

aiko: I was the only girl. (laughs) That was decided on my way home from swim lessons. “You’re the squad leader, aiko,” they said. I went, “Whaaaat?! Really!?” Every person on the pep squad was part of one of the sports teams: one guy was the volleyball team captain, another was the basketball team captain, and we also had the volleyball team setter in the squad. I looked so tiny next to all these tall, big-boned dudes. I just said, “Yaaay!”

ーMost guys on pep squads wear their school uniform jackets. What costume would a girl wear?

aiko: Some of the classes at my high school wore the school uniform jackets, but some of the classes sort of just made up their own outfits. The girls in my class wore tennis coats and aprons, which kind of made us look like cute, frilly waitresses. The guys wore blouses and bowties. I got to wear a pretty gorgeous apron as pep squad leader. (laughs) It had SO many frills. We were the purple team so everyone was wearing purple clothes except for me-- I was in white. I was the smallest one on the squad, but I’m pretty sure I was the loudest. Like, loud enough that I honestly think I annoyed the people living in the apartments next to our school. (laughs) Well, I did my part the best I could, and the purple team won some medals. I was also the torch bearer at that field day. It was the student council vice president’s job. There’s a picture of me in the yearbook lighting the torch with my eyes half-open. (laughs) How bad. I was also super tan in that picture. It was a yearbook though, so that picture’s everywhere. (laughs)

ーYou were student council vice president, the torch bearer, AND you were on the pep squad. I know you hate that picture, but sounds like you had a lot of other pictures in the yearbook too.

aiko: We were all in our senior year by then too. No one paid it any mind because we were all busy with entrance exams by then.

ーSchool festivals being what they are, I’m sure you had your hands full with that too.

aiko: You betcha I was! All three years, our class performance was something I came up with. In 10th grade we did a ‘haunted house’. In 11th grade we did ‘Antarctica’.

ーWhat did you guys do to make it “Antarctica”?

aiko: We made the classroom real cold. We got a bunch of dry ice, made some penguins. Then we filled a bucket with water and had everyone put their feet in it. The first person to pull their feet out of the bucket lost the game. To give everyone a taste of what it’s like in Antarctica. (laughs) In 12th grade, we had the revolutionary idea of doing a karaoke box.

ーWhere’d you rent the karaoke machine from?

aiko: We borrowed it from Acom.

ーAt any rate, sounds like you were a pretty lively and social kid back in high school.

aiko: I guess I was. One of my friends once told me a long time ago, “You know aiko, I’ve been watchin’ you this whole time. I watched you the whole time you were walking from the shoe closet to the back gate.” Apparently I’d talked to 18 people in that span of time. (laughs) It was just about 20 meters from the shoe closet to the back gate.

ーThat calculates to about 1 conversation with someone per meter.

aiko: See? He said I’d talked to 18 different people. “You talked to that many people in that short of a distance before you walked through the gate. I really respect you for that,” he said. I remember thinking, “Huh, it really is important to me to greet all these people one by one.” I had a lot of acquaintances back then.

ーSo were you the type of person who could get along with just about anybody?

aiko: There were a lot of people I hated with a passion though. You know, people I wouldn’t mind never talking to for the rest of my life. But yeah, I was pretty social overall. I was a sensitive social butterfly.

ーWhen you say sensitive, do you mean a lot of things bothered you?

aiko: Yeah. When one of my close friends felt down, I always wondered what I did. I’d be totally convinced I’d done something, and that they were mad at me.

ーEven if you were sensitive about things like that, I still wouldn’t describe you as a shy or timid person though.

aiko: That’s true for when I was with my friends at like, school. I did all of that introspective thinking when I got back home to my house. When I was at home, I spent almost all my time holed up in my room and didn’t really leave. As outgoing as I was at school, once I was back in my room I was basically a shut-in.

ーWhich version of you would you say is your natural, true self?

aiko: Hm, both of them, now that I think about it. I don’t have to force myself and work really hard to be one or the other. I love being alone, but I’d also go nuts if I were alone all the time. On the flip side, I really enjoy being around people, but being around people all the time would be a huge pain. It’s so taxing when I don’t get a good balance between the two. That’s never changed about me. When I’m at home, I’m super low-key. I walk around listening to my Walkman even though I’m home alone. I could play my music out loud since no one else is around, but I do laundry and stuff while listening to music on my Walkman instead. (laughs)

ーIt must shock people when they find out you’re a certain way at home or out in public when they didn’t know that about you before. I bet they say, “Oh, I didn’t know this side of you!”

aiko: I’m not sure! I was so simple and naive back in middle school, though. I never ever cried in front of my aunt and always acted so cheerful, no matter what happened, so maybe nobody knew my other side. I probably grew up a lot faster because I was put into my relatives’ care at a relatively young age. I’m an only child too, so I’ve always spent more time in adult situations than I did with children my age. With all the stuff I had going on, I sorta had to be that way. I don’t mean this in a weird way, but I had to be conscious of the face I was putting on for other people, I think. Once I got into high school, it was just normal for me to be a completely different person at school than I was at home.

ーWhich version of ‘aiko’ are you when you’re with someone you like?

aiko: Good question… I don’t think I’ve ever dated anybody that I’ve showed the ‘yin’ parts of myself to. Things always ended before I could stop pretending because for the most part, I haven’t dated anyone for that long. The longest I ever date someone was about 3 months.

ーI feel like most guys you’ve been in love with felt the same way back though.

aiko: They haven’t though, they haven’t! I’ve spent WAY more time in one-sided loves, all things considered. There’s also been quite a few times where I just couldn’t bring myself to act on my feelings. I didn’t ask out the guy I’d been in love with since I entered high school until I was in my senior year… We broke up before we even really understood each other at all. (laughs) He was in my grade, and I’d always had a crush on him. I still sorta liked him even after we broke up. After that we got along pretty well as friends, but it was always a bit of a sore spot for both of us. It’s only recently that he’s coming out to me about all of this. In fact, he didn’t start calling me “Aiko” until recently. I was like, “And we’ve known each other HOW many years now!?” (laughs)

ーSo what DID he call you for 10 years? (laughs)

aiko: He used my last name or just said, “Hey you.” (laughs) Really made me wonder, y’know? He’s the type that never talks about himself either. It wasn’t until recently that he started talking to me about a lot of different things. It took him 10 years for both of us to finally admit that we had a lot of fun together back then. It took 10 years to be able to say that.

ーSo does that mean he’s a pretty good friend of yours now?

aiko: Yeah. But he’s overseas now. I asked him why he left, and he told me he’s on a journey to find himself. (laughs) As always, I ain’t really sure what he meant by that. That’s so like him though.

ーBy the way, did the high school you attended have a uniform?

aiko: We had one, but I didn’t really ever wear it. The uniform was a navy blue blazer with one row of buttons, and pleated skirt, kind of, that had four pleats. I used to wear this skirt that wasn’t part of the uniform. I bought it in Umeda and it looked pretty good with my school uniform. I wore sweaters and hoodies with it. Well, usually a hoodie. I’ve pretty much always loved wearing hoodies… I still do! Whenever I got demerits I would always say, “It’s the hoodie, isn’t it?” (laughs) I was always saying, “I’m already at 28 points, can I just wear the hoodie?” I’ve always loved hoodies, but I totally fell in love with them in high school.

ーSo... you basically went to school wearing street clothes that LOOKED like the school uniform.

aiko: Yup. (laughs) I bought a black-ish skirt that went nicely with it, and in the winter I wore sweaters and hoodies over top of it. You were supposed to wear a white blouse with it too, but I wore a pale blue one with it. I made small additions to it while following the general ‘style’ of the uniform as much as I could.

ーDid your school not have a very strict uniform dress code?

aiko: ...Well yeah, they did, and it was annoying. Every time they found out I’d broken the dress code, they pinched me on my stomach. Just wearing a beanie in the wintertime made everyone flip out. People kept asking me if I was okay. Our high school was strict enough that they made me take off any clothes that obviously weren’t part of the uniform, though. I tried to avoid them getting mad at me for that at least, although sometimes they noticed from far away and would yell, “Hold on, what are you WEARING!?” and I’d run away. “Oh, n-no, this is the uniform. I’m wearing the uniform,” I’d tell them. “Mine’s in the wash! Yeah, in the wash.” You could’ve sworn my uniform was always in the washing machine at home. (laughs)

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[littlemisssquiggles]

RWBY Musings #28: A Squiggle Meister’s Views on Midnight Dragon (Tai Yang + Raven) and Albino Dragon (Tai Yang and Summer)

After Miles debunked the whole Qrow is Ruby’s real father theory, he confirmed once and for all that Tai Yang is indeed the biological father of both Yang and Ruby. However, despite this, there have been comments buzzing around the FNDM still bringing this into question.

Believe it or not, there are fans that are still raising the probability of this being factual by now questioning how Tai was able to get over his love for Raven in order to fall in love with Summer and then birth a child with her, just after two years since his first born child and previous relationship.

As always, the squiggle meister is here to toss her full $2.50 into this discussion pot and weigh in my thoughts and theories on this ongoing topic.

Disclaimer: In doing my research, I learnt that the FNDM has christened these two Tai Yang ships as Midnight Sun (for Raven) and Summer Loving (for Summer). And while those ship names are fine, truth be told, I wasn’t much in favour of them or any of the other alternatives that I saw. So I went with my own idea for the ship names. Also, sorry folks but this is gonna be another long post. Not as long as the last long musing I made but still long enough to warrant a warning.  Just wanted to mention this beforehand. That being said, let us begin:

The Raven, the Sun Dragon and the White Rose.

So Tai Yang takes 2 years to get over Raven and romance Summer enough to give him another kid? When you say it like that, it makes it sound even more ludicrously impossible, am I right?

Well truth be told, sometimes in the real world, there are actually relationships that start off in only a matter of weeks and there are even cases of folks getting married in less than six months or even a month after just dating. I mean I’m no relationship guru myself but it is plausible.

The point I’m trying to make here is following that reveal by the show writers, there are still those one or two fans gently sailing down that pleasant river I’d like to call Denial. Those who imply that two years is far too short of a timeframe for someone to recover from a past relationship. While I get the argument those fans are making, I must courteously disagree.

2 years is actually not too little time.

Again, there are examples of folks who fall off the couple wagon and get right back up in shorter time; sometimes starting a new relationship in only a few short weeks after ending their last one. I don’t know people like that personally but I do know people who know other people that treat their relationships like a claw machine game.

When they lose one relationship, they just immediately go back in and try for another one.

So I know of the type and I wouldn’t be too surprised if some of you readers also might know someone who shares that trait in their love lives.

So when you look at it from that perspective, 2 years really does seem like nothing compared to some exemplars from the real world.

Besides it’s not like Tai and Summer were complete strangers. They were teammates. Friends and to some extent, family even before the kids. Tai and Summer knew each other since they were huntsman attending Beacon Academy.

Since they were teenagers at the tender age of 17; the standard age for all students. The only exception was Ruby Rose who started Beacon when she was only 15.

Makes me wonder now if it was a similar feat for Summer Rose.

What if...

Ozpin allowed her to attend his school despite being two years junior to the average student age. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. With the casual manner Ozpin just invited Ruby to join Beacon back in V1; it’s almost like he’s done that before. But that’s just a hunch.

If I had to take a wild guess at how old Tai Yang is in the series, he’s probably in his early forties; perhaps 42-43 years of age. He’s too young to be in his fifties yet a bit too old to be in his thirties. The youngest age I can see Tai Yang being is 39 but my money is on him being in his early forties. If Tai Yang is in his forties, then that means he could’ve started a family back in his early twenties.

Since Yang, Tai’s eldest child, is 18 currently, my hunch is that Tai Yang and Raven probably had Yang when they were both between 24-25 years old age which surprisingly isn’t an uncommon age for folks to settle down and have a family.

My point here is that the members of Team STQR have all known each other since they were teens. They shared a strong friendship and camaraderie together, one that transcended time. Two of the members even got hitched and ultimately had a child together. Not sure if it was ever indicated that Tai and Raven actually were married.

I think marriage is something that most fans assumed but now that I think about, did the series or the CRWBY ever truly confirmed that Tai Yang was legally married to both Raven and Summer at some point. Were Yang and Ruby born out of wedlock? Are they both bastards?

Not that there’s anything wrong with being a bastard. Heck, the only show I know where being a bastard child is a big deal to the story lore is Game of Thrones (and I don’t even watch GOT). It’s just something I’m now wondering about.

Anyways if Tai and Summer were to get together within the span of two years or more specifically, 24 months (depending on what period you decide to count from) it wouldn’t be much of a problem because they already shared a history together.

Not only were they teammates who fought alongside each other during their years as young huntsmen in training but also long after it. Judging from how recent the photo of Team STQR looked, these guys have been together for years. Heck, I would even go so far to say that Tai and Summer probably knew each other before attending Beacon.

What if

...Tai and Summer were like Ren and Nora ?

 School Days with Team STQR

Imagine if...

Tai and Summer were close friends who’ve been together since childhood. Perhaps they both hailed from the same hometown in Vale and knew each other from around the neighbourhood.

I quite like the idea of Tai and Summer knowing each other before Beacon. Just picture Tai Yang Xiao Long being the hyperactive, brash type in his youth with a rather impulsive knack for getting himself into trouble all the time whereas Summer Rose, his neighbour and childhood friend, was the more level-headed and nurturing one always having to take care of him and bail him out of dire situations.

Picture teenage Tai and Summer as a watered down version of Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman without the revenge and occasional homicidal tendencies. I can definitely see Summer and Tai sharing a sibling-like dynamic in their friendship seeing as the other half of their original team were already related and well attuned to one another.

I can picture Summer developing a crush on Tai during the latter half of their school years at Beacon.

However, when it came time to profess her romantic interest in Tai, Summer instead chose to nobly not tell him her true feelings. She made this mature choice after discovering that Raven was also secretly in love with Tai (and was too much of a mega tsundere to admit her feelings unless pushed) and that Tai himself felt the same way for Raven since he confided this news to Summer, his closest friend at the time who he trusted the most with this information.

I figured telling Qrow that he wants to hook up with his sister would’ve been an awkward thing for Tai to do. So it’d make more sense to me if Tai either told Summer that he was in love with Raven or...she figured it out on her own because Tai’s feelings were obvious to everyone on their team except Raven.

And being the best friend that she was, Summer placed the feelings of her friends before her own and encourages Tai to profess his love to Raven.

Imagine a similar scenario like the episode from V2 when Pyrrha gave Jaune the pep talk that finally convinced him to tell Weiss how he truly felt about her. 

Just replace Jaune with Tai Yang, Pyrrha with Summer and Weiss with Raven.

Now that I think about, Team STRQ is literally the ole school equivalent of Team JNPR, being another unisex team in a lead role.

I can even see Qrow, who probably knew of Summer’s true feelings for Tai, making the same comment that Nora made in that scene.

Practice what you preach.

.Raven described Ruby as being just like her mother. So if Summer shares some characteristics with her daughter, then selflessly backing off of a love interest to allow a friend the opportunity to fairly pursue said similar love interest seems like the kind of nice thing Ruby would do. Y’know if she was ever placed in that kind of position. 

Hummingbird Chirps

But I’m actually for Qrow having a previous small crush on Summer when they were younger. I can definitely picture teenage Qrow Branwen garnering an instant attraction towards young Summer after they first met. Although my theory is that the crush didn’t last long, for the obvious reason of it being one-sided. Nonetheless it’s still something that I believe definitely happened in the past and was probably what jumpstarted Qrow learning to respect Summer as both a friend and warrior and was what made her such a significant figure in his life.

This actually makes me think of something funny. Back in V3 after he made his official appearance, Qrow was telling Ruby and Yang the story about the innkeeper who quote unquote ‘defeated him with her skirt length’. 

If Qrow has a thing for girls in short pleated skirts then him being attracted to Summer would make sense. Judging from the old photo of Team STQR, Summer used to sport a pleated skirt underneath her flowing white cape. So...wouldn’t it be funny if the first thing that sparked love at first sight for Qrow with Summer was indeed her skirt length. She would be his type.

As luck would have it, Raven also wears a short pleated skirt with her outfit. Now I’m picturing Qrow teasing his older twin sister about skirts looking better on other girls as opposed to her. Y’know typical anime sibling banter which in the case of the Branwens, would result in comical moments of the twins breaking into mini sword fights all because Qrow was ballsy enough to provoke his sister.

Also imagine Qrow and Tai bonding over skirt lengths while thinking about their respective crushes. I’m just saying.

Black With Envy

In continuing my point about the old school adventures of Team STQR, here’s a theory about Raven and Summer’s previous relationship.

Though I figured that Tai and Qrow probably got along pretty decently as the boys of the group, I can picture Raven and Summer being public enemies 101 when the team was first formed. Because Summer was such a gifted young huntress (even before unlocking her silver eyed powers); this made her even stronger than Raven and that angered the Branwen girl.

After all, Summer’s name is the first letter in Team STQR which means that she was their leader; appointed by Ozpin himself. I could definitely see it being very difficult for Raven and Summer to work together in the beginning since Raven was always resentful and jealous towards Summer at first even though Summer was always nice to Raven and did her best to befriend her.

I can picture Raven arrogantly believing herself to be the more worthy leader of their team (similar to Weiss’s initial feelings towards Ruby back in V1 after Team RWBY was formed) and it was actually Ozpin who talked to her and convinced her to give Summer a chance as leader (just as how Professor Port spoke to Weiss and convinced her to give Ruby a chance).

There are quite a few opportunities for Team STQR to parallel Team RWBY and this is one of them.

Dat Good Summer Loving

I’ve been musing a lot of about how Summer fell for Tai. Now it’s time to do the opposite. This is how I believe Tai eventually fell for Summer.

My hunch is Tai fell in love with Summer for her kind maternal nature. I picture that Summer has always been the type to take care of those she cared about. Underneath the face of a huntress gifted with an ancient power beyond her wildest imagination, was a compassionate woman with a genuine heart of gold and the cooking skills to match.

After seeing what an excellent surrogate mother she was to Yang, despite her not being her biological child, it was Summer’s benevolence and warmth towards others that made Tai fall for her, in my belief. Yang did point out that Summer loved her as if she were her own. According to Yang, Summer Rose was described as a super mom. Baker of cookies and slayer of giant monsters.

Yang loved Summer and still referred to her as her mother when talking about her to Blake, despite having zero blood ties to her. I’m guessing that Yang probably believed that Summer was her mother for most of her upbringing up until the point when she disappeared. Yang probably didn’t learn the truth about Summer and the identity of her real mother until after Summer had died.

While just a theory, it doesn’t excuse the fact that for most of Yang’s life, Summer was her only mother figure and never gave her any reason to believe that she wasn’t, even after she had long passed away.  

What if...something happened to Yang when she was a little girl and it was Summer who saved her.

And following that incident, Tai realized his own growing feelings for Summer and over time, the two bonded further over raising Yang together. Returning to my earlier statement, contrary to what folks may believe, two years or even a year and a half is a lot of time to pass. We’re talking eighteen to twenty-four months here people and a lot can happen within that time span including change.

Lovers could suddenly abandon you for reasons unspoken; leaving you to take care of a young innocent newborn you had initially planned to raise together.

Hearts can be broken rendering you a husk of your former self. Friendships can be tested as loyal allies arrive to help you pick up the pieces to repair your broken self. Struggles can occur tested further by time.

But within those troubling times can surface memories.

Memories, both happy and sad can be made and from those experiences can blossom new feelings.

Some of bewilderment due to the complexity of these sudden sentiments. Some of uncertainty on whether acting out on such emotions would be in good judgement.

But mostly it was love; an emotion that hasn’t been felt in years and was probably never expected to be felt again.

Tai loved Raven. Wouldn’t surprise me if she was his first everything.

First crush. First lover (in the sexual sense) and the first woman he ever truly loved. As a matter of fact, no need for surprise because this was pretty much proven canon by Yang herself back in V2. During her conversation with Blake, Yang told her that Raven was Tai Yang’s first love while Summer was his second. 

Tai Yang seems to be the kind of guy that when he falls for someone, he doesn’t just fall for them on a whim. As I shall repeat firmly yet again, two years is a lot of time to pass and many changes can occur within that period. It took Tai a whole two years to get over losing Raven because Ruby was born the following October.

Let’s do some math here. Ruby is approximately two years younger than Yang. That’s their thing. At the series start, Yang is 17 while Ruby is 15 highlighting their two year age difference. Even though we don’t know the exact date Yang was born, the fact is that Ruby was born a whole two years (or approximately twenty four whole months) after Yang.

Now that I think about, the CRWBY never really give us birth years. Any information regarding the characters’ respective ages is presented in the form of their exact ages and their birth dates. That being said, since she’s the only show runner whose birthday has been confirmed, Ruby Rose has always been the margin for me to measure everyone else’s ages by because it doesn’t matter how old other characters are, they will always be whatever age gap they corresponded to Ruby.

So if Ruby aged up by one year, it is safe to assume that everyone else aged up by one year too (which is why I don’t understand why the RWBY Wiki page keeps saying that all other characters are the same age they were at the start of the series and not currently while Ruby is the only one to have been confirmed to have aged up. I don’t get that. If Ruby is 16 now then everyone else should be 18, at least that’s my logic).

Using the above 3-year calendar to help illustrate my hunch, let’s say: Yang’s official birthday is in June, more specifically June 1st. I say this date because it was the day when the RWBY V1 Yellow Trailer first premiered to audiences at A-Kon Dallas back in 2013. You can technically consider that to be a sort of birthday for Yang because it was the first time fans were introduced to her character and got a taste of her in action. Plus Yang being born on the first day of the month (doesn’t necessarily have to be June) can work because it corresponds with how her younger sister was born on the last day of the month. It could work. Not saying that all the RWBY girls’ birthdays correspond with their original character trailers but, like I said it’s just a hunch to help with my explanation.

Ruby’s birthday is October 31st. Since Ruby was born at the end of the tenth month in the year, one can speculate that Ruby must’ve been conceived in the February of her birth year following Yang’s 2nd birthday. To keep things simple, let’s just say that Tai had some pretty good swimmers when he impregnated Summer and she herself was able to have a full healthy labour; not factoring in any circumstantial issues like premature labour or any initial prostate problems during the time of conception.

Now I know what you must be thinking now.

Squiggles, why the fudge are you going through such trouble to justify all this nonsensical information? To further prove my point, of course. The yellow areas in the calendar indicate the total length of time Tai and Summer spent together after Raven’s departure. Look at all that time spent before Yang’s supposed second birthday.

2 years. 24 months. 96 weeks. 730 days. 17,520 hours. 1,051,200 minutes. 63,072,000 seconds.

That is almost three solid years that Tai and Summer spent together after Raven’s departure and that’s without even including that they’ve known each other on an intimate level for much longer.

It took Tai Yang two whole years to get over Raven. Can’t remember if this was confirmed or not but Raven left shortly after Yang was born. After Raven left, Summer stepped up.

As I will mention again, Summer was not a stranger to Tai. The two have known each other since their teens. They were already close to begin with because of their longstanding friendship and camaraderie from Beacon days which lasted even into their adult years working as established huntsman.

Tai is not a two-timer. He didn’t cheat on Raven with Summer or anything ludicrous like that. After 24 months of emotional healing and after being in the presence of a woman who was not only his good friend and teammate, but had also more than proven to be a great companion and even good mother figure to his firstborn child (better than her real mother for sure), Tai did what any person in his position once heartbroken by previous ties would do.

He moved on!

Once Tai realized that there was no way Raven would ever come back to him or Yang, he moved on.

Instead of continuing to wallow in the loss of losing Raven, he picked himself back up. He returned to resume his role as a good father to the then toddler Yang. He found love again in Summer Rose. I’d imagine that Summer might’ve shown a little bit of contempt at first at the probability of her and Tai being together in that way. However, in the long run, she came around and found true love in Tai, reciprocating his feelings. And from their requited love, they settled down to become a family. Not the most conventional family but still one built on the love of two people who loved the child they were raising together and each other.

This is like the perfect plot synopsis for a Hallmark Channel romance flick.

Man loses his first wife after she mysteriously disappears, abandoning him and their newborn child. Man’s best friend and close colleague from work shows up to help him through his loss and steps up as surrogate mother. Shenanigans ensue but in the end, man is able to break out of his slump to be a better father to his child thanks to friend. Man and Friend continue to raise man’s child becoming a little family. During this time, the child grows up and starts calling man’s friend her mother.

This brings the future of man and friend’s relationship into question. After that the man and friend start to notice things about each other they never noticed before; like how much they enjoyed each other’s company and how well they looked together as a family. Cut briefly to one antagonistic friend who shows up to remind man about his wife.

Long story short, man and friend fall in love, come to realize their feelings and then confess those feelings. Man and Friend then get married with the man’s toddler as the flower girl in the wedding; practicing all that good Lifetime Movie shizz. Fast forward some time later when man’s friend who is now his new wife is recalling all the events after their wedding.

She is doing so while coddling her new baby; the newborn child of her and man just as Man enters the room with his toddler daughter who is now your average two-year-old toddler; talking and walking. The toddler daughter runs up to her new mommy and baby sister. Man and Friend who is now his wife then share a kiss as their toddler daughter plays with her new baby sister. The end. Roll credits.

Now gimme my cheque Hallmark cause that is the perfect plot for your next big hit. Then again, there must be at least three Lifetime Channel Original movies with this kind of plot already in existence. Jokes aside, you guys get my drift, right?

Shipping Don’ts for the Dragon Ships

 I sincerely hope Tai’s relationship with any of the girls on his team wasn’t like how they butchered the Makorrasami love triangle in the Legend of Korra animated series.

Not to throw any sort of shade but I really pray that it was not a case where Tai was once romantically involved with Summer while at the same time harbouring a conflicting attraction to Raven (who he probably didn’t get along with so there was always this unspoken sexual tension between them).

Like what if...Tai and Summer were once ‘high school sweethearts’ who shared the same passion to become huntsman. So they were already a couple when they joined Beacon and ironically wound up on the same team together with the Branwen Twins.

However Tai’s budding interest in Raven starts to interfere with his commitment to Summer especially when Raven starts flirting with him a bit and obnoxiously accusing him of having feelings for her despite knowing that he already had a girlfriend who was their teammate and team leader.

And of course, Summer is all oblivious to Raven’s advances on Tai, naively glossing it over as them learning to finally get along. Eventually that attraction surfaces and Tai and Raven end up sharing a passionate moment together which causes a temporary rift in Team STQR when Summer discovers that Tai had cheated on her.

But being the good person that she is, Summer decides to forgive both Tai and Raven for their infidelity. Tai and Raven then become a couple. Fast forward years down the line when they are married and already had Yang. Raven then suddenly leaves, dumping Tai. Summer shows up to help and in the midst of everything, she and Tai rekindle their past love for each other and hook up again.

As temptingly juicy as that may sound on paper, I would like none of that nonsense to touch RWBY please. Love triangles in shows can be an engrossing ride if handled well and I put major emphasis on ‘when handled well’. When love triangles or any kind of pairing shape are handled incorrectly with horrible writing, it can mostly lead to one big fat mess and of course, the dissatisfaction of the fans and show viewers.

Hence, my example of the Legend of Korra. It has been a universal statement of the LOK fandom that the romance in the series was just a mess. And while it took me years after the show long concluded to see the true validity of this point, I too can now say that I agree with this remark.

So far, RWBY has done a pretty exceptional job with the way they’ve handled all their romance. When I say this, I’m speaking mostly about in the show itself. I’m not making any reference to the infamous RWBY shipping wars. That’s all external conflict in the FNDM, not the show.

Despite one or two conflicts here or there mostly involving love shapes (y’know triangles, diamonds, hexagons, trapeziums etc, etc) in the earlier seasons, the ships in RWBY never got to a point where it became cringe-y for me to watch.

Even though I made not ship some of them personally, I respect all the canonical pairings that have appeared thus far in the series.

Even the ones that should make me cringe, like in the case of Tauradonna and Blake’s past with the villainous Adam Taurus, are well-justified.

What that means is when I cringe at a ship in RWBY, it’s because that’s the expected reaction I’m supposed to get as a fan after learning the nature of the relationship based on how it’s written.

I’m supposed to dislike Tauradonna because, it’s written as an unlikeable, unhealthy, abusive pairing according to the show canon.

The only time shipping in a show becomes cringe-worthy is when the characters in question aren’t bad but their romance is handled so terribly in the canon of the show that I can’t bring myself to be fully onboard with it, even if I happened to like said characters.

It’s especially worse when I like a ship but their whole relationship custom is written so horribly and irrelevant to the story plot that it just makes me question my own loyalty to said ship. 

Thankfully so far, canon RWBY hasn’t gotten to that point with me and hopefully it stays well on the path to creating well-written ships. I’m especially invested to learn more of the Dragon ships according to the show canon.

Some STRQ-y Predictions for RWBY V6

For what it’s worth, I’m hoping the series will take some time to shed light on both the Midnight Dragon and Albino Dragon pairings. Given the teaser clip from the V5 finale, it would be relevant for us to learn the truth of Tai’s past with both of his former lovers: Raven as well as Summer.

The CRWBY writers certainly seem to be setting something like that up for V6. I’ve talked about this in a past musing that V6 will be more about the ‘Journey to Atlas’. That way it can tie up all the loose ends to come from the aftermath of the Haven Battle.

But since they brought up Tai Yang with a hint of Raven, it looks like their story is one of the loose ends that the show plans on defining for V6 or at least I hope so. I want a Team STQR flashback. I want to see what Raven and Tai were like, both during Beacon and after.

I wanna know the whole truth behind why Raven left. We still haven’t gotten a properly defined reason for this yet. While I’m fully aware the show has implied that she did all that she did out of fear of Salem and lack of being able to convince anyone else to distrust Ozpin. Nonetheless that’s still not a full, clear definition.

The CRWBY writers keep tossing us fans breadcrumbs but at this point, I’ve grown tiresome of these tiny morsels of data and desire the whole loaf.

We still need to fully understand why and how Raven came to lose fate in Ozpin in spite of trusting him enough to grant her magical abilities.

Speaking of which, Raven made Ozpin turning her into a bird sound so grim when she first told Yang and Weiss about it. But later Qrow debunked this by mentioning that it was a choice that both twins wanted. The hell?

I want to know more about what Summer Rose was like. I want to know what her rapport with her team was like, both during and following Beacon.

I want to learn more about Ozpin’s interest in Team STQR and foremost, I want all of this plot exposition to lead into a proper account of how Summer died. And if the show can tie that reveal into Ruby Rose learning more about her legacy as a Silver Eyed Warrior and what that actually means for her future and fate then that would be awesome.

There is a silver chance that RWBY V6 will be more Ruby-centric. After all, the past two volumes of the Haven Arc have deviated attention from her as a means of further developing her teammates with their respective character arcs. V4 mostly highlighted Weiss’s story arc whereas V5 helped bring some closure to both Blake and Yang’s side of development.

The time has come to shift direction back to Ruby and I feel like V6 can be her season to literally shine as there’s a strong chance she could finally learn more about the Silver Eyes. They’ve been sitting on this plot device for two seasons now. It’s about time they get on with it.

And if Ruby is going to learn more about the Silver Eyed Warriors, then she can’t do so without bringing up her mother.

And I think hinting at both Tai and Raven’s involvement in the next season is a good sign that we can also get some insight into Summer Rose since they were the ones who knew her best along with Qrow. I wonder if the V5 ending was hinting at Raven possibly visiting Tai to talk and take him to Haven where everybody is.

Maybe my earlier hunch will come true. Perhaps Tai will play a role in the gang travelling to Atlas which means V6 could possibly give us a season where for the first time in RWBY history, Papa Xiao Long joins the party. So it won’t just be Qrow as the adult in charge. He’s gonna need a new protégé in guiding these kids towards Atlas especially if Ozpin is out of commission.

We can finally see Tai in action outside of the Patch and it’d be a terrific way to learn more about his character and his abilities (like his semblance).

Plus Bird Dad and Dragon Dad tag-teaming to babysit all the kids on the journey to Atlas.

Who wouldn’t wanna see a season with that in the plot? I’ll dive further into this for another future musing but think about it guys.

Papa Dragon for V6!  Hey CRWBY, c’mon!

So in conclusion:

 After Raven left, Summer was there, not only for Tai but also for tot Yang.

Qrow was probably around too but maybe not as much as he wanted to because of one, his semblance and two, his search for his sister.

I wouldn’t be too surprised if part of Qrow’s time away from the Patch was dedicated to him being the first one to go looking for Raven (and their tribe) after her sudden departure.

The lead that Yang found when she was a little girl that led her to go searching for her mom the first time; that was probably given to Tai by Qrow in his search. Or at least that’s my hunch.

Can’t recall if the show confirmed any stuff like this though. Don’t think so. Correct me if I’m wrong here, guys.

Anyways, I know I addressed several points and jumped through a number of personal fan theories and hunches.

 Even so, I hope this helps best give you guys the gist of my thoughts on this topic in the FNDM.

To say it one last time: No. I don’t think it was totally impossible for Tai to move on from Raven in the span of two years.

From what we know so far about Tai and can understand about his connections, Tai loved both Raven and Summer when they were his wives.

As the show canon has made mention of, when Raven left, Tai was devastated. Same for Summer.

After five seasons, we still don’t know that much about Tai. However from what I gathered so far, he seems like a genuinely cool and nice guy. The kind of genuinely cool and nice guy with a wicked sense of humour to prank teen Qrow into wearing a skirt in their younger years but...a genuinely cool and nice guy nonetheless.

It is unfortunately tragic that this one man managed to lose both of his lovers one after the other.

They were his former teammates. His best friends and the loves of his life. He cared about them both and also respected them both during and after their time as his significant others.

In spite of her absence, Tai still cherished enough from his past relationship with Raven because unlike some bitter single parents who choose to spend their time painting an ugly picture of their previous spouses to their children, Tai still loved and respected Raven enough to leave a good impression of her on Yang.

I think we can all safely agree that no matter the length of time he took to recover from one relationship, Tai loved and respected both of his leading ladies unconditionally till the bittersweet end and it’s that’s same kind of reverence he gives and teaches to the two badass angels that his world was blessed with because of those two leading ladies. 

Not certain if we might see Tai rekindling his romance with Raven anytime soon for V6 or any other future chapters.

I dunno, that one particular Tai Yang skit from RWBY Chibi S3 has got me thinking thangs.

But, I guess we’ll know in due time.

That being said, I think I’m officially done with this musing. As always I hope everyone who took the time to read it through enjoyed it. 

♦ More RWBY Musings by Squiggles ~LittleMissSquiggles (2018)

[james-christian-things-blog]

You Belong with Me

“You Belong with Me” is a song recorded by American singer-songwriter Taylor Swift. The song was written by Swift and Liz Rose and produced by Nathan Chapman and Swift. It was released on April 18, 2009, by Big Machine Recordsas the third single from Swift’s second studio album, Fearless (2008). Swift was inspired to write “You Belong with Me” after overhearing a male friend of hers arguing with his girlfriend through a phone call; she continued to develop a story line afterward. The song contains many pop music elements and its lyrics have Swift desiring an out-of-reach love interest.

The song won Favorite song at the 2010 Kids’ Choice Awards, and received nominations at the 2010 Grammy Awards for Song of the Year, Record of the Year, and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance. “You Belong with Me” enjoyed commercial success as well; it became a top ten hit in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and the United States. In the United States, the song became Swift’s highest-charting single on the Billboard Hot 100 at the time and has become Swift’s third best-selling single. It managed to gain the largest crossover radio audience since Faith Hill’s “Breathe” did in 2000. The single was certified 7× Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). The song is one of the best-selling singles worldwide, with worldwide sales of more than 7 million units (according to the IFPI).

The song’s accompanying music video was directed by Roman White. The video featured Swift portraying two characters, a nerd (the protagonist and narrator) and a popular girl (the antagonist and girlfriend), while American actor Lucas Tillportrayed the male lead. The video’s plot centers on the protagonist secretively loving the male lead, although he has a girlfriend. The video won the MTV Video Music Award for Best Female Video at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, but during Swift’s acceptance speech, rapper Kanye Westinterrupted, protesting in support of Beyoncé. The incident caused a reaction in the media, with many coming to Swift’s defense. The song was performed live at numerous venues, including the 2009–10 Fearless Tour, where it was the opening number. It has been covered by various artists, including Butch Walker and Selena Gomez & the Scene, and parodied by “Weird Al” Yankovic.

Background

Swift became inspired to write “You Belong with Me” after she overheard a male friend of hers speaking to his girlfriend on the phone. He acted defensive as his girlfriend yelled at him, and said to her, “No, baby…I had to get off the phone really quickly… I tried to call you right back… Of course I love you. More than anything! Baby, I’m so sorry." Out of the sympathy she felt towards him in the situation, Swift developed a concept for a song.In a writing session with co-writer Liz Rose, Swift explained the situation along with her idea and conceived the song’s opening line, "You’re on the phone with your girlfriend / she’s upset / she’s going off about something that you said." Together, they developed a story line, which described Swift being in love with the male friend and her having the desire for him to break up with his current girlfriend for her. Swift described the song’s concept as "basically about wanting someone who is with this girl who doesn’t appreciate him at all. Basically like ’girl-next-door-itis.’ You like this guy who you have known for your whole life, and you know him better than she does but somehow the popular girl gets the guy every time." Swift recalled, "It was really fun for us to write the line, ‘She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts’.”“You Belong with Me” was first released as a promotional single from Fearless on November 4, 2008, as part of Countdown to Fearless, an exclusive campaign by the iTunes Store;the song was then released as the third single from Fearless on April 18, 2009.

Composition

“You Belong with Me” is a country pop song with a length of three minutes and 52 seconds.According to Kate Kiefer of Pastemagazine, it is “a straight-up pop song." The song is set in common time and has a moderate tempo of 130 beats per minute. It is written in the key of F♯ major and Swift’s vocals spans a little below two octaves, from F#3 to C#5. Swift hints at her country music background in the banjo-inflected introduction of the song. Leah Greenblatt of Entertainment Weekly felt Swift’s vocals were light and twangy while the melody was "lilting”. It follows the chord progression F♯ –C♯–G♯m-B. The instrumentationconsists of clucking banjos alongside new wave electric guitars.

The lyrics to “You Belong with Me” alternate between narrative modes, where she speaks of herself, a male friend whom she has an unrequited crush on, and his girlfriend. Greenblatt described Swift’s role as a storyteller, the song being a narrative set to music, which describes concerning about love and boys “just [being] very hard to catch”. Craig Rosen of The Hollywood Reporter believes “You Belong with Me”’s plot is “confessional” and regards scenarios themed with high school, while Swift “is the girl next door who’s had her heart broken and takes refuge in music”. Lucy Davies of the BBC noted, “Swift deals in the prosaic imagery of high school boys”.In one verse, Swift contrasts herself with her friend’s girlfriend and states, “She wears high heels, I wear sneakers / She’s cheer captain, I’m on the bleachers”, which Davies interpreted as the song’s protagonist feeling envy towards cheerleaders, in particular, the one dating her male friend. In the choruses, Swift attempts “to persuade some boy to come to his senses and submit to her everygirl charms”

Awards and nominations

At the 52nd Grammy Awards, “You Belong with Me” received nominations for three awards. The song received a nomination for the Grammy Award for Song of the Year but lost to Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” (2008), for the Grammy Award for Record of the Year but lost to Kings of Leon’s “Use Somebody” (2008), and for the Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance but lost to Beyoncé’s “Halo” (2009).“You Belong with Me” won Favorite Song at the 2010 Kids Choice Awards and was nominated for Song of the Year at the 45th Academy of Country Music Awards, but lost to Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now” (2009). Although “You Belong with Me” did not receive an award for any of the nominations it received at the 52nd Grammy Awards, Swift did win album of the year for Fearless, which the song was a part of.

With You (Chris Brown song)

“With You” is a song recorded by American recording artist Chris Brown for his second studio album, Exclusive (2007). The song was written by Brown, Johntá Austin, Tor Erik Hermansen, Mikkel Eriksen, Espen Lind and Amund Bjørklundwhile production was helmed by Stargate. The song was released as the album’s third single on December 4, 2007 in the United States. It was later released internationally on March 21, 2008. “With You” is composed as a slow R&B ballad that features an acoustic guitar as the base of the arrangement.

“With You” topped the charts in New Zealand and peaked inside the top five in several countries. In the United States, “With You” peaked at number two on the Billboard Hot 100 and at number one on the US Pop Songs chart. The music video for “With You” was directed by Brown and Erik White. The video focuses more on Brown and his dance moves while utilizing several visual effects. It won the accolade for “Best Male Video” at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards.

Background and release

“With You” was written by Brown, Johntá Austin, Mikkel S. Eriksen, Tor Erik Hermansen, Espen Lind, and Amund Bjørklund. Eriksen and Hermansen produced the song under their production stage-name Stargate. Eriksen recorded it at Battery Studios - a recording studio in New York City, New York. Phil Tan mixed the track with assistance from Josh Houghkirk at Soapbox Studio in Atlanta, Georgia.[1] Eriksen and Hermansen, in addition to producing and writing, performed all the instruments featured on the song, with the exception of the guitar, which was provided by Lind.

“With You” was released as the third single from Brown’s second studio album Exclusive (2007), after “Wall to Wall” and “Kiss Kiss” (2007). Before its official single release, the song was first released to digital retailers in certain territories on November 2, 2007, through Zomba Recordings, as a promotional single.More than a month later, on December 4, 2007, Jive Records and Zomba Recordingsserviced the song to rhythmic crossover radio in the United States. They later solicited to contemporary hit radio on January 8, 2008.On March 4, 2008, an extended play for “With You” was released to digital retailers in certain countries, including the United States, featuring the original song and two other remixes by Tracy Young and Kovas.Another extended play was released in selected countries on March 14, 2008, containing the original version and four other remixes. On March 21, 2008, “With You” was released as a digital single in several countries, including Belgium, France, Ireland and Norway. The single featured a B-side, the B&B Remix of “With You”.

Music video

The music video was shot in Los Angeles, California on November 20, 2007. It premiered on music video channels MTV, BET, and Fuse TV during the week of December 3, 2007. In a November 8, 2007 interview with MTV, Brown stated that he co-directed the video as well. “And it shows me more solo. Like, it shows the grown side of Chris – it doesn’t show the kiddie side. ‘Cause with this album, I wanted to blend, I wanted to do all different visuals of me. The first [video] 'Wall to Wall,’ the acting, the vampires, the spookiness, then you go to 'Kiss, Kiss,’ that had the little goofy part, now this one is solo, the main [performer] is me. Me freestyle dancing – just showing people me naturally, not a choreographed routine, just me dancing and showing you what I’m capable of. But at the same time, I was just having fun with the camera, and just one-on-one time with me and my audience." The video was quite popular in American television, reaching number 1 on BET’s 106 & Park for 6 days, and staying on the countdown for 38 days. It has also reached number 1 on MTV TRL for 10 days, replacing Flo Rida’s "Low” and finally retired at number 1 after it stayed on the countdown for 35 days. The music video won the accolade for “Best Male Video” at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards.

Composition

“With You” is a “folksy” R&B song. According to the music sheet published at Musicnotes.com by Sony/ATV Music Publishing, “With You” utilizes styles of urban and contemporary R&B music and has a moderate tempo of 86 beats per minute.[8] It is written in a key of E♭ major while Brown’s vocals range from E♭4to B♭5 The song follows a basic sequence of E♭5-E♭maj7-A♭7-B♭ as its chord progression. It consists of a slow stuttering beat and an acoustic guitar arrangement that has garnered comparisons to that present in Stargate’s other produced song, Beyoncé’s 2006 hit “Irreplaceable”. Kelefa Sanneh of New York Times said the song could be a cover of “Irreplaceable”, while Nick Levine of Digital Spy called the two songs “kissing cousins”.Greg Kot of the Chicago Tribune felt that the song “openly mimics "Irreplaceable” right down to the acoustic guitar riff.“ Lyrically, "With You” is written about teenage love, presented in the lyrics “And now I know I can’t be the only one/ I bet there’s hearts all over the world tonight / With the love in their life who feel the way I feel when I’m with you.”