#and don't panic delete after three minutes

[antivivziepopparade]

All of the proof that we have that Vivziepop is abusive. (So far....)

While you support this post please go ahead and support my channel to see more about Vivziepop's abusive behavior. Thanks!

1. She rushes her employees.

Season 1 was made in 2020. While Season 2 was made in 2021 while being released with MULTIPLE EPISODES only ONE year later.

That's-

INSANE!

-and im about to tell you why:

The average cartoon needs almost ONE WHOLE YEAR to produce one episode. And this is what we see in MAINSTREAM shows.

Meanwhile, Helluva Boss took only one year (and a half) to make MULTIPLE ENTIRE EPISODES that last over 20 minutes. The longest waiting time for an episode being 8 months. Not even a year, and we get multiple episodes off the drawing board.

You can even see here that it's taken only three years to make 16 episodes. When this is an indie studio, so this should have taken so much longer to make. Yet for some reason, it took only a few years for us to get full seasons. In 2021, we got over 4 episodes alone. Have you ever wondered why these episodes come out so fast while other shows take a lot longer to get new seasons? That's an easy question to ask... Spindlehorse...

Is being ABUSED.

And I have the proof to show.

2. The pay controversy.

Spindlehorse's payment has been under controversy for providing the lowest pay possible to those that work at the studio.

One piece of evidence was given by Adam himself (albeit unintentionally) by saying this:

This kind of pay is highly unstable! And before you say "But he didn't force them to be there-"

LOOK.

The employees themselves admitted that they had no choice. People had no choice and Vivienne Medrano took advantage of that for her own selfish desires. This is disgusting treatment of a studio as small as Spindlehorse. Or any studio for that matter.

Hell! chaifootsteps said once that once Zeurel released that he was paying his animators too low, he deleted one of the tweets showing the low pay and decided to do something to give his employees better wages. Meanwhile, Chimera Bunny pays even less than Viv does and just because paying your workers low is normal in the animation industry- plot twist: Doesn't make it ok!

People have suffered so much in this industry, it's why "New Deal for Animation" exists. The only reason you haven't seen many Vivziepop workers having protests and speaking out is because Vivziepop says things like this behind people's backs if they "dare" do anything she doesn't like:

So that explains as to why so many people remain as "anon" or say nothing at all because they got cold feet. Vivienne's terrible!

Especially since even her top employees have admitted to not being paid enough despite Adam's "I pay them to stay if they make us the most mon-ey!" claims from the article:

Also this:

This is how she speaks about her own employees:

"YOU DONT LIKE HOW I TREAT YOU?! FUCK OFF!"

Straight up abuse.

Also, wasn't Walt Disney known for abusing his employees?

To the point where people had an entire protest in 1914 about it?

Wow... such a healthy workplace treatment comparison. Doesn't make Vivziepop look more like a jerk.... at all! /s

3. She bullies kids/laughed at a sa victim that was sa'ed by her friends. As one kid was bullied into a panic attack (I know them personally) back in about 2020 and Viv decided to vague post about them behind their back even after they apologized.

For someone who's so focused on "forgiving despite cancel culture" she sure likes to blame and harass people for disliking even ONE thing about her show or herself. One thing- and you're harassed over making a meme about a cartoon with fictional characters (What Froot Did that set Vivziepop and Gumball off.)

Secondly, one of her friends sexually harassed a minor.

And instead of acknowledging the sa, Vivziepop wrote this:

She ended up calling it a "joke" and made fun of the victim involved.

This is outright abusive behavior that should not be tolerated.

Children don't deserve to be traumatized this way. Especially over something as simple as making memes about a cartoon (negative or not) or simply telling someone to stop fetishizing abuse.

More on this in this video made by Gummypop:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND-

That's all that I have for now!

Will likely be updating this post in the future. Goodbye!

EDIT:

More evidence of Vivziepop using abusive language and slander against her employees behind their back. Claims of them being a "stalker" (like she did to Kedi and also its clear that she told her employees to say that Kaz was a "stalker" otherwise how else would they be saying these things after she fired them.) along with using abusive language such as "CUNT!" to prefer to Kaz this way in a professional setting I cannot. 💀

More evidence of Vivziepop harassing a kid:

ANOTHER edit:

More evidence, she's burning them the HELL out!

Yet ANOTHER edit:

More evidence of Spindlehorse being abusive:

EDIT:

Even MORE evidence:

The fact that the story AND the storyboards AND the animating for season one's episodes were all done in one year is just so crazy to me like... WHAT?! Either way, this post will continue to extend the more that I find evidence. So remember to look forward to that one!

EDIT:

Sadly no, as animation abuse is so common that the police dont even see it as an issue. The last time I tried to call the police on her they needed a location. The problem? There is no location of Spindlehorse since it's a "private" studio. So because of that viv gets away with abuse despite the obvious implications of her behavior and how many people came out with allegations towards her.

[perkypeony]

𝔸 𝔽𝔸𝕋ℍ𝔼ℝ'𝕊 ℂ𝕆𝕄ℙ𝕃𝕀ℂ𝔸𝕋𝔼𝔻 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼 𝕀𝕀

Dad Gojo x daughter reader

Part 1 Part 3

2012

Y/N was lying on the couch, her eyes glued to the cartoon playing on the TV. Satoru, sitting beside her, was engrossed in his phone. Needing a glass of water, he went to the kitchen, leaving his phone on the coffee table. Being a curious three-year-old, Y/N got down from the couch and picked up the phone. She then began playing with it, swiping and tapping the screen. In her innocent exploration, she accidentally opened the gallery and deleted a few pictures.

Returning to find his daughter with his phone, Satoru quickly checked it and realized some photos were missing. Among them was a cherished picture of him and his late girlfriend, the last picture they had taken together before she passed away. Panic and anger surged through him.

"Y/N, what did you do?!" he scolded, slapping her hands away.

Y/N recoiled, tears welling up in her eyes as Satoru stormed off to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Confused and hurt, Y/N toddled to the closed door, knocking vigorously. "Daddy? Daddy, open the door," she sobbed.

Inside, Satoru was torn between his grief and guilt. The memories of him and his late girlfriend crashed like a tidal wave. After a long while, Y/N stopped crying. He finally opened the door to find Y/N sitting on the floor, her eyes puffy from crying. She looked up at him, her small arms reaching out.

His heart aching, Satoru bent down and picked her up, holding her close. Despite his anger, he couldn't ignore the bond that still connected them.

April 2014

It was Y/N's third day of preschool. The school day had ended 40 minutes ago, but Satoru was nowhere to be seen. Her teacher, growing concerned, called Y/N's father.

“Mr. Gojo, it's 40 minutes past pick-up time," the teacher reminded him.

Satoru's voice came through, feigning surprise. "Oh, I thought it was an hour later. I'll be there soon."

In truth, he purposely didn't come to fetch her, hoping that somehow leaving Y/N there might make her disappear from his life. When he finally arrived, Y/N's face lit up, oblivious to his resentment. She ran to him, arms wide open, her innocent smile beaming. "Daddy! You came!" she exclaimed.

Satoru forced a smile, lifting her. "Of course, Y/N," he said, though his heart wasn't in it. The weight of his grief and guilt crushed him, making every affectionate gesture feel like a lie. He could barely look at her without seeing the ghost of his late girlfriend, the life they could have had together.

Y/N, in her naive world, saw her father as her hero. She held onto Satoru's neck tightly and kissed him on the cheek. “I had so much fun today. We painted and played games!”

Satoru nodded, pretending to listen, though his mind was elsewhere. To Y/N, everything was perfect, her father had come to pick her up, and all was fine in her little universe. But for Satoru, each step felt like walking through quicksand, dragging him deeper into despair.

July 2014

The day before Y/N was to go live with Utahime, Satoru helped pack her things. Y/N watched him, confusion and sadness in her eyes.

"Why, Daddy?" she asked, her voice small. "Why am I going to live with Aunt Hime?"

Satoru paused, struggling to keep his composure. "Because I said so," he said flatly, not meeting her gaze.

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes. She ran to him, wrapping her arms around his leg. "I'm sorry for asking about Mommy yesterday," she cried. "I don't want to leave you."

Satoru pried her away, his voice cold and distant. "You're the reason Mommy died," he said, his words cutting deep.

Y/N cried harder, taking her stuffed bunny with her and plopping onto the bed. “What did I do?” her voice barely a whisper.

As she finally drifted to sleep, she dreamed of her parents. In her dream, they were holding her hands, walking together to a playground. Laughter echoed around them, and for a brief moment, she felt the warmth of their love, a fleeting moment of happiness that contrasted sharply with her waking reality.

Meanwhile, Satoru sat alone in the living room, the weight of his words heavy on his heart as he replayed the scene over and over. He buried his face in his hands, tears streaming down his cheeks. He had pushed away the only piece of his late girlfriend he had left, the innocent child who looked up to him with unconditional love.

Morning came too quickly. Y/N woke up, her eyes puffy from crying, clutching her stuffed bunny tightly. Satoru avoided her gaze as they left for Utahime's. When they arrived, Y/N hesitated at the door, turning back one last time. "Daddy, please don't forget me," she whispered, hope lingering in her voice.

Satoru didn't respond, his heart breaking as he walked away, leaving her standing there, feeling more alone than ever. As Utahime hugged Y/N, the little girl buried her face in her new caretaker's shoulder, muffling her sobs.

𝐻𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑜, @kalopsia-flaneur. 𝐵𝑡𝑤 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑓𝑒𝑤 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠.

[aayakashii]

Part three to the story! You can read part 1 here, and part 2 here.

Warnings: SFW, gender neutral reader, angst and depiction of a panic attack. If you feel triggered by that, please avoid it and take care of yourself first!!!

Author's note: this derailed into Alan going through it so I'm not sure how I feel about it,,,, I feel like the story took a sharp turn into another direction that is detached from chapter 1. anyway, I would really appreciate your comments if you liked it!

touch starved – ch. 3

MC

Are you available to go through that mission right now?

Alan watched as a typing bubble suddenly appeared on his chat with them, mildly pleased at how fast they visualized his message.

It almost made him feel stupid after stalling to send them a message for so long. Although he would never admit it, because admitting it would be acknowledging his anxiety to talk to them.

Right now?

Hm...

Yes.

I had to go finish some errands for Jin...

He didn't have the right to feel jealous over them, much less over something innocuous like that. It was just their job. And even if it wasn't, he still has no right to feel anything for them at all.

Alan narrowed his eyes at the message, his fist clenching unconsciously around his phone. He stopped himself before could actually crush it into bits. It wouldn't be the first time, actually.

I believe missions are a priority.

Darkwick policy.

Jin has Tohma.

He'll live.

He pursed his lips, mouth forming a thin line as he tried to get rid of that green feeling forming inside his chest, while he thought about typing all the other reasons why they should ditch Jin.

He needed to get rid of it.

I know he will live, it's about MY survival though hahaha

Alan managed to suck in a deep breath. Okay. So they were hesitating just because it was their job, and not because they favored Jin.

Don't wanna lose my head, you know?

Good, good.

Don't worry

I'll keep you safe

Alan cringed at his own corny message, but it was too late. He had no clue on how to delete something after it was sent, so he sat with his embarrassment, nibbling on his own bottom lip as he looked at the "Seen" under his texts that appeared as soon as his messages were successfully sent. A typing bubble appeared, then disappeared, then appeared again.

...

10 seconds feel more like 10 hours.

You there?

He allowed a little bit of his anxiety flow through the message, his right leg bouncing up and down, restlessly, as the heel of his shoe made a loud tap tap tap sound in his room.

Soeey

Sorry*

I got a bit distracted

But okay

I'll see you in a few minutes

I'll let Tohma know I can't see Jin rn and go straight to Vagastrom

Okay.

Alan pursed his lips again, that time to suppress the smile that threatened to creep into his face.

His right leg rested, finally.

No big deal. He knew you were coming just because missions are, indeed, a priority. He knew that.

Deep inside his chest, however, he felt a bubbling pride come to the surface of his feelings.

You chose him over Jin.

He breathed in deeply and rubbed his face with his hands, trying to calm himself down befored you arrived. He had no right to act giddy like that, not him, not ever. He had to wipe that small smile from his face.

A soft knock sounded on his door as Alan finished organizing all the paperwork for the mission. Two cans of iced coffee and a few bags of chips also rested right beside the documents – it was the best he could get with the little time he had.

“Hey, I'm here” your head peeked inside his room, and Alan had to keep himself from flinching. It wasn't characteristic of him to feel jumpy since he was constantly aware of his surroundings, but he had found this new side of himself after the mission regarding Takeru's ghost.

Ever since he saw your body being dragged down by that anomaly, his nightmares seemed to be filled with images of you almost succumbing to that monster. Reminding himself that you were safe, at least for now, was a conscious effort he had to do most days.

He wondered if you had nightmares about him being bloodied from head to toe after he lost control.

“Thanks for coming after such a short notice. You can come in.” he opened the door, ushering you inside.

“It's no problem. Did you take a look at it already?” you walked towards his coffee table, where all papers seemed to be organized and sat on his floor, eyes scanning the pile of documents.

“Mhm, I did.” Alan joined you and slid one of the cans towards your direction “I'm pretty sure they only categorized this as a mission because of the amount of documents with omitted information. It's a lot of work.”

You took a sharp breath through your teeth.

“Yeah, I can see that…”

Alan stared at the troubled expression on your face and suddenly felt a wave of self-consciousness wash over his body.

Working with him must be a chore. Now that he was thinking things through, you didn't need to go through this after all. At least, not again, not when he could handle things on his own this time, even if it was a lot of work. He could just let you leave–

“Actually, you don't really need to worry about this. You are free to go if you have other businesses.” he blurted out, without much thought, his uncertainty getting the best of him.

Alan was everything except a man who was tuned into his emotions. And sometimes, they caught him by surprise when they took over his body and acted on their own.

It was the reason why he was so afraid of his own anger. He didn't know when or if it could take control over him. 

You stared at Alan, who sat across from you on the table, and lifted an eyebrow.

“But you called me here.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking apologetic.

Truthfully, he felt conflicted.

A big, loud part of his mind wanted you there, with him. He wanted the comfort of your company, the normalcy and gentleness of being with you; someone so different from the Vagastrom House's students, and from the surroundings that were familiar to him – because he hadn’t known tranquility for most of his life.

Another part of him, however, wanted to push you away because he didn’t feel like he deserved said tranquility. 

“Yeah, however–” he was interrupted by the loud sound of a can's lid being snapped open.

“Of course I'm not leaving, Alan. It's my job as an inspector and I want to help you.”

Alan's gaze towards you softened and he took a deep breath, nodding.

Of course you wouldn't up and leave, no matter how much he tried to push you away.

It was one of the things that shook him to his core while he was working with you – not once did you express feeling uncomfortable, but most importantly, you never seemed to be afraid of him, which was unprecedented for Alan.

He knew what the other students said about his past, and he was sure that you were aware of every rumor, of every story people passed on regarding his life. Yet, never once did their fear seem to rub off on you. Each time, you chose to stay beside him, trusting him instead.

He knew that pushing you away was never going to be that simple.

You worked diligently through the first few documents on your pile, laser focused on the task at hand. Your hands moved fast, peppering the paper in red ink as you circled the information that needed to change and the numbers that needed to be input.

Meanwhile, Alan was lost in his thoughts as he looked at you, his hand loosely holding a red pen against the paper, the pen's tip making a small stain on it.

His own lack of movement made you slowly lift your gaze towards him and he flinched again, putting his finger against the red puddle of ink to dry it out faster, and quickly moving the papers to pretend he was just as focused as you.

Your very presence, however, seemed to make it impossible for Alan to concentrate.

He frowned, trying to understand what was printed on that paper right in front of him, but his eyes wandered again from his papers to rest on you, so, so near him.

Looking at your hands, he still felt the faint ghost of your touch on his head. Despite digging his nails into his scalp that whole afternoon, he still couldn't remove the memory of your skin against his hair and it haunted him. He kept on banishing time and time again every greedy thought that merely implied he wanted more of that.

He scribbled random numbers down onto his paper, mind totally focused on the fact that you were right in front of him. He would definitely need to review each and every single document he pretended to correct, because, at that moment, the sound of his heartbeat thumping loud in his eardrums prevented him from concentrating.

He glanced sideways towards you as you moved to grab your coffee. Alan swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down,  as he observed the way your lips pressed against the can and one stray drop of coffee trailed down your chin, your neck and entered the confines of your uniform.

He licked his lips and gritted his teeth.

How he wished he could taste your skin – but no, no. He couldn't entertain thoughts like that, not when he felt so unworthy of your touch.

He shook his head, trying to chase his thoughts away.

His mind flashed to Dante and the purple and black bruises littering his body and a cloud of guilt immediately hid his desires under its gloomy shadow.

How could he ever think of touching you with the same hands that killed a man? The same hands that held weapons, the same hands that landed him in juvie.

Alan tried to hide all the blood under grease and car oil, but it was still there – and he would rather be damned than cause the same pain on you by cursing you with his attention.

He didn’t deserve you. Not your company, not your friendship, much less your affection.

His heartbeat kept on drumming loudly on his ears, every part of his body seemed to be pulsing in the same rhythm as his thoughts snowballed into a pit of self-hatred.

He felt heat emanate from his skin, even though his room’s air conditioner was blasting the same way it had always been. Alan tried swallowing through the sudden nausea, but his throat felt like it was closing up and his tongue felt heavy on his dry mouth.

He rested his head against his trembling hands, trying his best to breathe even though it felt like his lungs weren’t working. He felt like he was dying. Was he dying? But why? Did something curse him too? Or maybe he was just ill, he never really had any health checks done by Mortkranken anyway, maybe he had been sick already.

He felt like he was going to throw up, but he didn’t even remember where he was. Where was he? He couldn’t see. His vision seemed to have darkened and his chest hurt so, so much. He gasped, trying to force the air inside his lungs.

He wished he could have at least held your hand before he died. Oh, speaking of it, weren’t you working with him just a few moments ago?

“–lan. Alan. Can you hear me? Alan, focus on my voice if you can hear me, please.”

In between the clouds in his mind, he suddenly heard your voice, muffled and distant.

“I’m right here, Alan. Please focus on my voice, I’m right here.”

His head snapped towards you, breathing still erratic. His tunnel vision seemed to expand a little and he managed to make out your face. You were right beside him, an extremely worried expression on you.

Why did you look so worried? Oh, right, he was dying.

“I know it must be hard to focus right now, but I’m gonna keep talking so you can try to come back first.”

He managed to suck in a shaky breath through his nose, the feeling of salty water hitting the back of his throat. His trembling hands moved to touch his own face - it was wet with his own tears. When did he start crying?

This seemed to bring him back a bit more, so you kept on talking.

“Can you hear me better now? Let’s try breathing together?”

He looked at you, thoughts still hazy as his heartbeat kept on drumming loudly.

“Alan.” you called him and he tried to focus on your face.

“I’m going to touch your arm, is that okay?”

You seemed to have said something about touching him and he nodded, confused.

He suddenly felt your hands wrap around his wrists.

“Focus on my hands and on my voice. Okay?”

He nodded again, still unable to speak.

“Let’s try breathing together. I’m gonna count and you’re gonna follow me, okay?”

Your thumbs gently rubbed against his quickened pulse and he felt the fog dissipate a bit more.

“Breathe in deeply for 4 seconds. 1, 2, 3, 4.”

He followed your instructions, trying to open up his own airways.

“Hold for 7 seconds. Don’t exhale yet, okay? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.”

He moved his wrists, allowing you to hold his hands instead and you squeezed them, reassuringly.

“Now let go for 8 seconds. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.”

He felt his chest hurt a little bit less and cringed at the damp feeling of his tears wetting his face.

You guided him through his breathing for a few more minutes, until Alan felt like he could speak again.

“I thought I was dying.” he confessed, voice raspy and low. You looked at him, sympathetically.

“You were going through a really bad panic attack.” you said, and he widened his eyes in surprise “You’ve never gone through one?”

He shook his head. So he wasn’t dying. Good. But also, he felt like running away from his mind even more after he that.

“It can happen to anyone. I’ve been through some as well, especially if I’m too trapped inside my own bad thoughts. That’s why I knew that breathing technique.” you grabbed a napkin on his table and kneeled closer to him, motioning with your hands towards his face. “Can I?”

"Okay" he managed to say and hesitantly closed his eyes as he felt you dry his tear-striken face with the napkin.

It was the closest you have ever been to him. He breathed deeply, basking on the scent of lavender fabric softener that came from your clothes, and leaned against your touch unconsciously.

Your eyes softened as you observed him in such a vulnerable state. You didn’t know what was it that plagued him so much that sent him spiraling so horribly, but nothing could beat the certainty that you wished you could protect him from those demons just as much as you wanted to keep touching him.

“Alan.” you murmured and he opened his eyes, suddenly embarrassed as he realized he was resting his cheek on your hand.

He quickly leaned away from you, gaze moving everywhere but your face.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice I wa-”

“Alan” you said, once again, louder. He looked at you, silencing himself.

“Would you let me hug you?”

Alan's eyes widened and, for a moment, his thoughts seemed to halt for the first time in that afternoon. 

Your question echoed inside of his skull and all he managed to do in response was lean forward again, allowing you to wrap your arms around him.

You leaned your cheek against the back of his head and made sure to keep breathing deeply and evenly so he could follow your example. His arms were hesitant, and looped awkwardly around your waist, afraid of holding you too tight.

Your hands pulled his arms closer and he froze, his already tensed up muscles feeling even tighter. You moved your hands to his back again and began rubbing circles against the fabric of his vest.

Alan tried his best not to allow himself to melt against your touch, but after a while, he failed to keep himself from indulging in the feeling of peace that you gave him. It was something he only found in you and he felt like he could happily drown in it.

Your head moved, and you leaned back in order to be able to look at his tired eyes.

“I hope you know you can count on me if you ever need to talk about something. You don’t have to deal with your thoughts alone.” you murmured, arms still keeping his locked in your embrace.

Alan avoided your gaze, looking down at the documents you two still had to write, long forgotten.

The persistent voice in his head still tried to claim he wasn’t worthy of anything you were offering him, but in your arms, your voice was much louder than any insecurity he could have.

He chose to listen to you, even if just for that moment.

He nodded, arms steadying around your waist.

“Thank you.”

Masterlist link

[girltalkcollectives]

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist: What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Academic Burnout

Currently writing this from my favorite corner of the library at 1 AM, surrounded by empty coffee cups and half-finished to-do lists. If you're also here – physically or metaphorically – this post is for you.

The Breaking Point

Last week, I:

Pulled three all-nighters

Cried in the bathroom between classes

Forgot to eat actual meals for two days

Drank enough coffee to fuel a small country

Had a breakdown over a B+

Ignored approximately 47 texts from friends

Convinced myself I was failing at life

And then I realized: this isn't normal. This isn't okay. And I'm definitely not alone.

The Pressure We're Under

Let's be real about what we're juggling:

5+ classes with endless assignments

Internship applications

Club responsibilities

Part-time jobs

Social life maintenance

Basic human needs (allegedly)

Family expectations

Our own impossible standards

Signs of Burnout I Ignored

Looking back, the red flags were screaming:

Constant exhaustion (but unable to sleep)

Sunday night panic attacks

Zero motivation for things I used to love

Living on caffeine and protein bars

Emotional breakdowns over minor setbacks

Feeling disconnected from friends

That weird eye twitch that wouldn't go away

The Toxic Academic Culture No One Talks About

We normalize:

"I'll sleep when I'm dead"

Competing over who's more stressed

Skipping meals to study

Feeling guilty for taking breaks

Measuring our worth by our GPA

Sacrificing mental health for grades

Working ourselves sick

What Actually Helped Me

Real strategies that made a difference:

Setting non-negotiable rest times

No studying after 11 PM

One full day off per week

Actual lunch breaks (revolutionary, I know)

2. Creating study boundaries

50 minutes of work, 10-minute breaks

No studying in bed

Phone on "Do Not Disturb"

Designated study spots

3. Taking care of my body

Keeping snacks in my backpack

Water bottle always with me

Walking between classes instead of rushing

Actually using my gym membership

The Reality Check I Needed

Truth bombs I'm learning:

No grade is worth your mental health

You can't pour from an empty cup

Success isn't measured by exhaustion

Your worth isn't your productivity

Rest is productive

B's get degrees (and that's okay!)

Permission Slips We All Need

It's okay to:

Take a mental health day

Ask for extensions when needed

Say no to extra commitments

Not be the perfect student

Change your major if you're unhappy

Prioritize sleep over studying

Ask for help

What Recovery Looks Like

Small wins I'm celebrating:

Actually eating three meals a day

Sleeping more than 4 hours

Taking weekends off

Setting boundaries with study groups

Deleting social media during finals

Learning to say "no"

Accepting that good enough is enough

Practical Steps I'm Taking

My new non-negotiables:

No all-nighters (they don't work anyway)

Regular meal times

Phone-free study blocks

Weekly planning sessions

Morning routine that isn't just coffee

Therapy appointments

Exercise that feels good

To Anyone Struggling

Remember:

Your grades don't define you

This phase of life is temporary

Everyone's path is different

It's okay to take breaks

You're doing better than you think

Asking for help is strength

You matter more than your GPA

Moving Forward

I'm learning that:

Success looks different for everyone

Balance isn't perfect

Rest is necessary

Breaks make you more productive

Health comes first

Some things can wait

You're not falling behind

The Plot Twist

Maybe the real achievement isn't getting straight A's while running three clubs and maintaining a perfect Instagram feed. Maybe it's learning to take care of yourself while chasing your dreams.

[anonniemousefics]

Welcome to writing school, where everyone and no one is the teacher. Everyone got their notebooks out? Pens at the ready? There's ten minutes on the timer - and go!

Don't panic - you're going to be able to write without stopping in no time. Oh, you've stopped already? That's ok. Try again. That's how practice works.

You're going to fail here at writing school. Get used to it now. You're going to fail every day, until you don't for a bit, but don't worry -- you'll fail again soon enough. That's what we're all here to do. We fail together.

Pause for a sip of coffee? Sure. Anything to get out of writing, am I right? Anything to put off that slow, unrelenting death march that is you writing without a goal in mind. Come on, you can do this! Fucking write!

This is part of the process, don't you get it? Like 80% of writing is like driving at night with a headlight out. You're going to be able to see three feet ahead of you and you're going to have to trust that there's still road beyond that. Why do you trust that there's road beyond that? You've been *practicing,* dummy! You drive all the time! It's easy to trust a road you know.

This notebook will be a road you know before you know it.

Pause for a sip of coffee.

Ok, so what were we saying? Right! Writing school!

What else what else

Here are writing school, we're going to practice writing our first thoughts. What are those? They are these! These ones you're reading now! The problem is, in order to get to them, you have to be willing to writing unceasingly. You have to be able to let go - to be a conduit for whatever inspiration is flowing through you, to drown out that ego that wants to scream STOP THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING WHERE'S THE DELETE WHERE'S THE CONTROL ALT DELETE CUT CUT CUT

That's the death, the murder of first thoughts.

Why do you want first thoughts? I'm so glad you asked! Ah, shit, there's the timer. You'll have to join us next time! (Look, you survived! Failing's not so terrible after all, is it?)

[poledancingdinos]

Thought You Should Know

A story barely featuring Captain Syverson

Word Count: 1074

Warnings: Non-con groping, sexual harassment, language, implied panic attack, generalized angst

A/N: I apparently accidentally deleted the original post so I guess I have to make a new one.

Masterlist

I was angry, there was no doubt about it. My friend had been the one to suggest we get drinks on Friday night to celebrate my recent promotion and yet she texted me 15 minutes after the time we were supposed to meet to tell me she had been held up and couldn't make it. So there I was, sitting alone in a booth at the back of the bar, watching as group after group of people came in to laugh and drink.

Leaving my leather jacket on the table to mark my spot, I walked to the bar to place my order. The waitresses already seemed to be getting overwhelmed with the other tables they were serving so I figured I would save them the trouble and go straight to the barman.

I stood with my arms leaning against the counter as I waited for one of the two bartenders to take my order. The first was busy making shots of something that looked ridiculously sweet and treacherously strong while the other punched a waitress’s order into the computer.

I'd been waiting for about a minute when a dark-haired man came to stand behind me to my left. I felt his presence before I saw him when he shamelessly brushed his hips against mine. Already worked up from being ditched at the last minute, I straightened my back and looked over my shoulder.

"Yeah, hi. You're in my space and I'd really appreciate it if you could back up."

"Aw, come on doll, don't be like that. I was just appreciating the view."

As he spoke, he put his hand on my butt, going so far as to give it a little squeeze.

Wrong move buddy.

I spun around, grabbing the hand on my ass with my right hand and pushing into his elbow with my left until his arm was twisting at the shoulder and his cheek and chest smacked flat against the bar surface with an audible thud.

"Ow, you bitch!"

"No, I'm not a bitch for telling you to respect my boundaries but you are most definitely a dick for calling me 'doll' and grabbing my ass."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I became incredibly aware of the way the entire room had gone silent. Not a single person dared to move.

"All right, pal, it's time for you to go."

A heavyset man — who I recognized as the bouncer who checked my ID when I walked in — grabbed the brunette by his shirt collar and dragged him outside. Shortly after, a group of three sheepish-looking guys followed them out, never looking in my direction as they did.

I glanced around the bar, seeing everyone else's eyes on me, and quickly escaped back to my booth. I sat as close to the wall as I could, my back facing the room, and crouched down so my head couldn't be seen over the edge of the seat. I wrapped my arms around myself, holding onto my arms in a desperate attempt to keep my hands from shaking.

"Excuse me? Are ya all right?"

I looked up to see an imposing bearded man leaning against the divider on the opposite side of the booth. I was tempted to tell him to fuck off and go play hero somewhere else but something in his features urged me to keep my mouth shut. His hypnotically gorgeous blue eyes looked… genuinely concerned, his brows tightly nit together.

"I'm fine," I lied.

His face twisted, recognizing it wasn’t true, but he knew it wasn’t his place to call me out on my lie. He put his hands in his pockets, slouching lightly like he was trying to make himself less threatening.

"Are ya meetin' someone?" he asked instead, looking around to the front door.

"I was supposed to…" I paused, unsure if I should tell him the truth.

"But now yer thinkin' of just goin' home?" he guessed.

"Actually, they cancelled on me about five minutes ago. I was planning on getting a drink anyway since I was already here but… yeah."

At that point, the thought of getting up to do anything but walk out the door was absolutely terrifying, but I really did need that drink now.

"Would ya let me get it for ya?"

"You don't have to do that."

"I know, I'm offerin'," he shrugged. "It's up to you." And it really was. The man had made no indication of wanting anything in return.

"That would be really nice," I said, giving him a half smile.

"What's yer poison?"

"Rhum and coke? I'm not really picky about what kind."

"All right then," he nodded, walking away like a man on a mission.

It took all of sixty seconds for him to be back by my side, setting my highball glass down on the table. He had gotten a bottle of beer for himself which he half finished on his first sip. I pulled some cash from my jeans’ front pocket, but the stranger shook his head as soon as he saw it.

"No need —"

"Do I seriously look like I'm in the mood to fight you over who pays for my drink?" I cut him off before he could finish.

He smirked at me, taking another sip of beer.

"I was gonna say: there's no need 'cause the bartender gave it to me on the house. Said you puttin' that asshole in his place made his night."

"Oh," I almost felt bad for snapping at him. Almost.

"What you did… it was really badass. Thought you should know."

With a resigned nod, he left me alone. I wrapped my still unsteady hand around the cool glass and took a greedy sip of my drink. The sugary soda instantly helped soothe the dizziness I had been feeling since my adrenaline dropped and by the end of the last drop, my heart had slowed back to a normal pace.

I had walked to the bar from work, planning for the eventuality that I would be too drunk to drive home but one drink wasn't enough to make me more than lightly tipsy. I grabbed my jacket, shrugging it on, and clutched my car keys in my hand so the metal poked out near my pinky. I closed my eyes, counting to three, and with a deep breath, I stood, making a beeline for the door, not looking back at anyone as I did.

[rocketturtle4]

On Repeat tag game

In the unlikely event anyone saw the original version of this post that was up for 12 minutes before I realised I'd done it wrong and panic-deleted it only to realise 12 seconds later that no one would KNOW I'd done it wrong...

...no you didn't

It's Friday evening, I'm blaming weekend brain.

ANYWAY

Tagged by @visualtaehyun @sorry-bonebag and @thegalwhorants I feel so popular! Thankyou!✨

The game: Put your Spotify On Repeat playlist on shuffle and post the first 10 songs! (don't forget the shuffle like I definitely didn't)

Let's see what happens, I was very relieved to realise this is like RECENT on repeats lol, if it had been for the whole year...who knows what would have appeared. My music get's updated very rarely but recent joining of a spotify blend has dragged my music tastes kicking and screaming towards a little bit of variance lol.

Also this On Repeat thing is very cool so TY for the new feature!

Unsteady by X Ambassadors

ahhh what an opener. As some of you may know my bestie @plantsarepeopletoo has been breaking down the Only Friends music on the regular (it's so interesting, the music is almost predictive of the character arcs!!) and occasionally sharing the feeeeeels with me and @shouldiusemyname as they work through it. As part of this we have regularly discussed other songs that remind us of different characters and relationships in OF and this song put me deeeep in my Ray feels after Ep...5? or maybe 6 and yep I've been playing it A LOT ever since.

2. Mad love - Sped Up Version by Mabel, Speed Radio

I don't even remember how I found this one but it's a vibe

3. SPARK by A.C.E

Ooooh interesting, I recently finished a rewatch of Light On Me where I was reminded how much I love the ending song hence this!

4. Don't Blame Me by Taylor Swift

I'm with you @thegalwhorants, I'm a swifty, not a big one, but her voice and music are excellent. Plus Reputation yk?

5. Free Fall by Slot Machine

Lol is commentary even necessary? I'm not even a huge KP fan but this song kills

6. I do not know how to write/copy Thai sorry but its by Selina and Sirin

The Only Friends feels are everywhere it seems. But this is SUCH a beautiful song.

7. betty by Taylor Swift

Same swifty disclaimer as before, this is one of my all time fav T Swift songs and I will take no judgement.

8. Belly Dancer by Imanbek, BYOR

Now here's a throwback I'm surprised to see on my repeat playlist, I guess I listened to it enough that it's lasted lol, for a while I studied to this song on repeat for hoooooours. Don't know why but the repetition is non-distracting, Mad Love above falls into that category too.

9. Pretend by Nanon

Ahhh now this is no surprise, I am currently on ep 13 of the Jungle, hoping to finish it this weekend and this song is gorgeous. Love it, love Nanon, love The Jungle.

10. Bad Habits (feat. Bring Me The Horizon) by Ed Sheeran

oooh finishing off with Ed that rounds it out nicely. Ed Sheeran's concert came to my state in little old down under in March of this year and it was my first ever concert. Love his music and the concert was AMAZING. Though this version of the song can actually be blamed on a recent blend I've joined to drag my music kicking and screaming into any sort of variance as my personal playlists have the original.

I have NO Idea who has already played cause my PhD has suddenly dumped three projects which need immediate attention in my lap all at once so my tumblr time has vanished into the ether.

Of course I COULD stop watching 15 shows at once but they'd have to STOP AIRING first

[Image of Ayan from The Eclipse saying "I don't get myself either"]

Soooo @grapejuicegay @wanderlust-in-my-soul @pandasmagorica play if you want and if you already have feel free to tag me retroactively! I basically only see stuff if I'm tagged these days... or if they happen to appear in the 20 random posts I see at some point through my day.

[queen-rainy-love]

I sadly deleted CRK cause storage issues and Im sorta sad about it (it was months ago during the BTS concert thing 😭).

is it okay if you could do a little oneshot that Clotted Cream got access to a BTS concert and VIP tickets to meet the BTS Cookies offstage in person. He brings his family—not Custard— and Financier, Crunchy, and Wildberry. His mom is there as well. Clotted Cream and Finanicier are ARMYs you cant change my mind—

Que the concert playing BTS Songs like, Save Me, Spring Day, Your Eyes Tell, and Louder Than Bombs. (DjajfksifisifksjfskkdabajJsjsj)

After the concert, everyone goes backstage and RM greets them and Clotted Cream is awed and secretly fanboys. BTS and the other Cookies talk to each other. Suga and Wildberry are just standing together, Clotted Cream sees them and immediately grabs Wildberry and gushes about Suga (his bias). WB smiles and jokingly says that Clotted Cream has a type. Suga also teases him a bit.

Soon they all leave and everyone has a good time. But then Clotted and Crunchy realized that they left Finanicier. Dont ask lmao.

We go back and See Finanicier getting an autograph from J-Hope.

(sorry for this longish thigy im just stressed cause of school and i love your work)

First, I will humbly honor this request to help lower your stress levels. Second, I'm sorry for the loss of this game on your phone. Third, I like that headcanon idea of yours. It's very cute! <3

Let's go!

*The scene is set during the BTS concert in the Cookie Kingdom. Clotted Cream, Custard III, Light Cream, Financier, Madeleine, Cream Puff, Crunchy Chip, and Wildberry were enjoying the show, singing along to all the songs. Wildberry couldn't help but smile whenever he sees Clotted Cream singing along and jumping to the song.*

*It wasn't long until the concert was over.*

Madeleine: What a wonderful show! The best this year!

Cream Puff: I'm sure it's the best show ever! Nothing can top this!

Custard III: Yeah! Nothing can!

*Clotted Cream and Financier looked at each other, smiling before the consul pulled out a few backstage tickets.*

Clotted Cream: I think there is a way.

Custard III: Oh my Godly! Amazing!

Crunchy Chip: Woah! No way! How did you get those?! They sold out in three minutes!

Clotted Cream: ...Did you...forget...that I'm the Consul of the Crème Republic?

Crunchy Chip: ...

Financier: Did you forget about that fact?

Crunchy Chip: No!...Maybe!

Madeleine: Never mind that! Let's go!

*Everyone took a backstage ticket before heading back there. As they walked over there, Light Cream asked her son a quick question.*

Light Cream: Sweetie. How did you get the money for this?

Clotted Cream:...*looks away thoughtfully*

*Meanwhile...*

Custard: What's this twenty thousand coin charge for?!

*Back to the main scene...*

Clotted Cream: *slightly panics* Don't worry about it. Oh, look! We're here! Haha! Let's go!

*The group finally reached the green room, where BTS was just finishing up with another group. The first member to notice the group was RM.*

RM: *smiles* Hey there! Welcome to our backstage meet-and-greet!!

Clotted Cream:*internally fanboying but keeps a calm smile* It is an honor to meet all of you.

*The BTS members started talking with the group: RM with Madeleine, Jung Kook and Jin with Cream Puff and Custard III, V with Crunchy Chip, J-hope with Financier, Jimin with Light Cream and Clotted Cream, and SUGA with Wildberry. Clotted Cream noticed Wildberry and SUGA talking, well, more like jump staring at each other. He excused himself from Jimin and his mother. He walked over to SUGA and Wildberry, taking a nervous breath. Wildberry noticed him first.*

Wildberry: *pulls Clotted Cream into a side hug* Hello love. I believe you know SUGA.

Clotted Cream: Haha. Yes. *blushes in embarrassment* I...I'm a big fan. I love the songs you've written and I love how you keep your cool under intense situations.

*SUGA and Wildberry looked at each other before smiling.*

Wildberry: *looks at Clotted Cream with a smile* It's good to know what your type is.

Clotted Cream: Huh?

SUGA: Strong. Silent. Calm. I'm sure I would have a good chance of dating you.

Clotted Cream: *flustered* I...um...I...Haha! I...

SUGA: *laughs* Just kidding. But I do appreicate you loving my contribution to the band. Thank you so much. *bows*

Clotted Cream: Oh! Of course! *bows*

*After a few minutes, the group waved BTS goodbye and left the green room. As they walked away, Crunchy Chip turned toward Clotted Cream.*

Crunchy Chip: What was going on with SUGA Cookie? I could hear a stuttering train coming from you.

Clotted Cream: Um...*starts blushing* Just got slightly excited for the meeting.

Crunchy Chip: Ha! Maybe next time, I should talk with him. He's a lot like Wildberry in some ways.

Clotted Cream: *blushes more* Yeah...a lot like him. *slightly looks behind him and notices something.* Huh?

Crunchy Chip: What's up?

Clotted Cream: Where's Financier?

*The scene goes back to Financier and J-hope still talking. J-hope was signing an autograph book.*

Financier: Thank you for doing this last minute task. I'm sorry for taking up your time.

J-hope: *smiles* Don't worry about it! I'm more than happy to do this! I also hope you'll be able to connect with your friend again.

Financier: *shyly smiles* Thank you.

[brick-a-doodle-do]

reviewing all 25 of my fics !!!!!

i have never read my writing! i just did. some was good, some was bad, here's my review and at the end there's a tier list C:

curiosity one

actively throwing up i hated every little bit of that i'm so glad i'm rewriting that oh my god why was that so popular?? 🤢

i can confidently say i no longer feel this way vvvv

curiosity two

ehhh getting better but still not the best. but at least i didn't cringe my way through the fic this time!! :D

curiosity three

writing is iffy because i'm mixing two different writing styles together

HOWEVER i LOVE the h/c in this therefore it is so far my favorite chapter :D

"tommy calm down, it's just a drink, see?" is just WJKEJFNRDNF i love it for no reason :D the interactions in this i admit are really nice

curiosity four

supposed to be an exiting chapter but tbh i did not execute that too well

uhh yippeee he's out!!!

curiosity five

mmm mm m mmmm idk how to feel about this one

very fast paced i will admit

this whole series is so fucking rushed 😭

curiosity six

meh

dialogue is pretty cool tho

overall this series is rushed and poorly made lmaooo

wilbur chocolate 1

okay this is pretty good

not lovely but it's readable and i honestly love this au so i'm not gonna diss it too hard

wilbur chocolate 2

i like this one

dialogue go brrr

also i feel like i executed wil's panic semi-well? i definitely made him have some trust in tommy way too soon but yk

i'll run away and hide with you

ehhh there's nothing technically wrong with it,,,,,

no real comments it's fine ig

spy au: unofficial prologue

idk there's nothing wrong with it like this fic !! :D

2022 summer exchange

again too rushed i need to draw out trust it doesn't happen in two minutes!!!

"you're pretty" makes me happy tho. don't ship dnf too hard but i like it :DD

ghosts are better than humans

writing is iffy but it's cute !!

company & repairs 1

first fic and it's mid. i got fanart for it though, that's pretty cool :D (i toooootally didn't ask for it, i got it just by pure chance. totally!)

mm i could've written his injuries better

i like my use of internal questions

dude in my earlier fics i was so scared to write like product names and the word "scream" and "yell" bc i didn't want it to come off as cringe like wth that is literally so bad

i let go, when i should've held tighter/an inconvenience, at best 1

typos are bad. bad bad.

writing can 100% be difficult

ended up deleting it to redo it bc after all this worldbuilding i need to redo some things :)

also dialogue is everything but accurate

never fucking again.

ok ummm i could've done his pain a lot better

i've gotten better at writing mental health so i'm going to rewrite this someday

but to be fair i wrote this alongside many other things that day---i was doing a bet,,,,

writing is actually kind of decent and i love how chill tommy is lmaooo "well, he fucked that one up" "at least he got his powers working"

apart from thattt i LOVE this au and am excited to write the first chapter :D

oh, george

okay time to see all the hype around this. 93 notes???? this better be good

not worth all the notes (sosososo grateful for those btw almost 100 notes that is AWESOME) but i can see why it was liked. i can usually tell if this community will eat smth up or not,,,

don't fall

i liked that

definitely my favorite so far

writing is decent and it's fluffy so i like it :DD good job me C:<

heavy is the head that gets no sleep

mm cute i like it :D

top for sure

2022 secret santa: too good to be true

okay the idea for this was like actually awesome, i loved having dream like kinda do into that trance thingy and having it fade in later. and i like how i incorporated "bitter stares" into it.

however there's a severe lack of dialogue and the action is drawn out, far too short and not properly there

it also felt rlly short so there's that,,,

the act of making noise 1

i like this one! it could be a little bit better but tbh it's a good au and i like the writing a lot more than some of my other fics so it s a win from me :D

i also think i has a nice flow to it? that could just be me tho

counting down the seconds

v bad i can see why this didn't do too well

deleting it cause this au is on hiatus,, might give it out as a prompt now :D

uhh writing wasn't too good and it was very boring, way too long asw,,,

mere monstrosity

I LOVED THAT??

it's actually well written??

WRITING SHANE IS SO FUN HIS DIALOGUE IS THE BEST----

this is such an underrated fic of mine istggg

top fics for sureee

sfdjsdjgdnf SHANE'S DIALOGUEEEE!!!!! I WILL GLADDLY WRITE MORE OF HIM!!

the little things (written)

badly written, fluffy, one of my oldest fics

cory's notes give me life tho <333 "your writing makes me feel warm" AJGFSAJDGEFJDNF i love cory smsm :D

shroud, you savior?

eh

good fic idea, poorly executed

and oh my god in my earlier fics i'm realizing how oblivious i was to how puncuation worked, especially for my dialogueeeeeee!! it makes me feel terrible reading it,,,,,

also the amount of fluff-to-angst ratio is good, but again i need to write panic better,,,,

hush 1

YES! I LIKE THIS! to be fair it's my newest fic but STILL i like this a lot!!!

good angst, suspense could be a tiiiny bit better but i still rlly like this!!! top fic for sure C:<

switched

fluff. fluff fluff fluff. writing aside the mouthplay scenes are the best things ever i am so happy this exists !!!!!!!!!

wow i have an excruciating number of fics. i did not like reading them :'D

tier list time >:D (more under cut)

Keep reading

hush 1 (writing, dialogue, plot, everything is good imo)

don't fall (if the writing for this was better it'd be #1 !! the fluff, this entire au in general, "i won't hurt you" mmmm this is a yummy fic !!!)

mere monstrosity (speaks for itself. i loved this fic! it's a bit rocky in the beginning but i just love shane sm <3)

the act of making noise 1 (YES this is good. the overall plot is iffy but i like chapter one so far, hopefully i can take this au in the right direction !!)

curiosity killed the cat 3 ("it's just a drink, see?" mm yummy)

heavy is the head that gets no sleep (prime boys my belovedd)

spy au: unofficial prologue (i just have a thing for spy!dnf <33)

wilbur chocolate 2 (like i said, dialogue go brrrr, and it's actually a decent sequel. wilbur chocolate beloved asw >:D)

wilbur chocolate 1 (angst beloved)

ghosts are better than humans (it's simple. i didn't overdo it,,,)

i let go when i should've held tighter/spy au 1 (spy au belovedd!!!)

never fucking again (love this au sm, my opinion is swayed again)

switched (tinies overcoming their fear of getting nommed is such a high trope for me,,,)

oh, george (my opinion is swayed bc of the tiktok it's based off of)

2022 secret santa: too good to be true (honestly despite my lack of flow & dialogue its pretty good)

2022 summer exchange (honestly idk why i don't rlly like this---i'm making a part two so some part of me should enjoy it?)

shroud, you savior? (ok this fic is an era to me it brings back positive memories :] also ppl like this so i meannn)

curiosity killed the cat 2 (he and wilbur talk, what's not to like? i like this chapter a lot actually)

the little things (little streamer au my belovedd)

curiosity killed the cat 6 (everything is revealed!!!! and wilbur not being able to really do anthing cause a. he's in tommy's storage and b. he's a traitor, kidnapper and villain in tommy's eyes)

i'll run away and hide with you (idkkkk why i don't like this either. to be fair nothing's really wrong with it,,)

company & repairs 1 (again memories and also idk this was my first fic, i think nostalgia is helping my decision)

curiosity killed the cat 4 (he gets out, that's pretty cool)

counting down the seconds (eeeehhh this used to be a cool au of mine but that was before i just stopped working on it and i realized it wasn't that cool,,)

curiosity killed the cat 1 (No.)

i switched these around so much lmaoo but i was dead set on the last two. curiosity was so bad wtf??

[layla-loves-violence]

"i want to give you wings, but babe, you've got to grow them"

At my first Game Design 101 lesson, my professor told us that many of us would probably end up switching majors before we graduate. "Making games and playing them are two different things."

I wasn't deterred. I had aspirations of narrative design and character concepts, and although level design and programming bored me to death I was determined to stick it out. I wanted so desperately to give back to the media that I loved so much, that got me through my hardest times: video games. I had dreams of directing my own RPGs, of making characters that everyone would fall in love with.

I lasted one year.

It wasn't out of a lack of love of games. It was a lack of support. It was a lack of language. It was a lack of desire to live.

Freshman year is guaranteed to bring drama. You throw a bunch of 17-to-18-year-old kids into close proximity and call them independent without any of the skills and things are bound to get a little messy. Especially if you're an autistic narcissist like I was at seventeen. I won't deny my own fault in the situation, in fact, I'll be the first to gut myself over it. I was a tiny control freak with an anxious streak a mile wide. It doesn't take much pressure to break me open.

I was too dumb to realize that inviting a guy back to my dorm to "play video games" meant I was propositioning him. I was too shy to tell a guy to fuck off when his comments made me uncomfortable. I was too self-absorbed to realize I wasn't the main character of this social group, that these people I'd barely known for two months wouldn't rally behind me like I was some usurped king seeking to reclaim my throne. There was no throne. I was seventeen and stupid.

But it doesn't change the fact that, intentionally or not, someone was taking advantage of me. Whether it was the boy who pressured me into cuddling when I wasn't open to having sex, or the boy who promised to stand up against sexual harassment and balked when I actually brought up pursuing Title IX. I was "too much drama" he said, after he'd already convinced me everyone else was against me.

It's been six years since then. People change. People wash their hands of you. People will watch you drown, and say that if they tried to save you, you'll pull them down and we'd die together. And you're not sure if they're wrong.

My first semester I made the Dean's List. The second semester, I was on academic probation, because I was too terrified to be in the same room with people I assumed hated me, or worse, found me annoying. I deleted the Discord servers, kept my distance. While my classmates learned about character design, I was conducting a self study on how isolation leads to madness.

I contact a suicide hotline, keep my answers vague so I don't end up in the hospital again, like I did at 12. I tell my mother I can't take the train, because I worry that when I see it, I'll feel compelled to throw myself in front. The minute I step out of my dorm, I stop being able to breathe. I have a panic attack so loud in the bathroom before an exam that the front desk has to conduct a wellness check.

I drop out that summer.

(Someone contacts me in the fall, asks if I wanted to attend an event with him. I tell him I no longer go to that school and to never contact me again. Surprisingly, perhaps gladly, he does. His contact in still in my phone.)

I spend the next six years digging myself out of a hole. I end up in three separate outpatient programs. I cut my hair, grow it out again. I drop 20 pounds and gain it back, drop another ten, gain back five. I learn to drive. I get a part time job, get laid off, get another job, and get bullied by my managers. I move from my dad's house to my mother's. My grandmother dies. My dog dies. My sister, a once-despised rival, becomes tolerable, and then a friend. I begin losing my closest friend. I start drawing. I start writing. I listen to Mother Mother again. I play a Night in the Woods.

The game design program I chose, I chose for its capstone. At the end of four years, you get to build a real, playable game with other students. We got to pitch our games as our final for the first semester. All of us "failed," pitching things far too complex to make in a single semester. "Not every idea gets made."

There were several projects made in the 2022 Game Design capstone. I read the names of the students involved, and I can picture them in my head, and I feel lightheaded. For a moment, I can see an alternate world in which people didn't scare me. I can see a world where I connected with others on an even keel. Some of them have websites, and my mouse hovers over a "contact" button. The boy who said I was too much for him is a man with a beard now. He says his favorite game is Persona 5.

I wonder if they think about me, or how their memories erode my image in time. I picture a villain lurking in their single-room lair, pacing and stewing in between lofi hip-hop streams and rewatches of John Oliver and Polygon's Unraveled, cloaked in pilling hoodies and unwashed pajama pants, yellow-green plaid, school colors. No one is coming for them.

[laikaflash]

Sometimes I miss TV Tropes' high octane nightmare fuel pages. The "Other" subpage also contained such gems as an entry that simply read "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS" with a YouTube link long since lost to time.

Transcript below the cut.

Three words: "Cannot Load OS".

For those who don't know why that's High Octane Nightmare Fuel, consider this: Your computer, which you've had since high school, has a lot of stuff on it. Irreplaceable stuff. Fanfics, music, pictures of you and your friends, etc. One morning, on a whim, you decide to run a program called Restoration, which allows you to permanently delete files from the hard drive that have already been deleted. You've used this program before, and it's never had any problems. On this particular day, you let it run from around 7:00 AM to 8:00 PM. Some time in the afternoon, the scrollbar and all the icons vanish from the desktop, but you don't think it's a big deal. Around 8 PM, Restoration finishes, and you go to close the program, but the desktop is empty. No icons, no scrollbar...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING except for the wallpaper. You hit Ctrl-Alt-Del a few times...and then the wallpaper is distorted and squashed. You restart the computer, expecting to see the usual boot-up sequences...and instead, you get "ERROR: Cannot Load OS". You restart it again. "Error: Cannot Load OS." You restart it again. ERROR: Cannot Load OS." Panic begins to set in. You turn off the computer, wait a minute and then turn it on again. ERROR: Cannot Load OS. You try this a few more times, becoming more and more fearful that the hard drive has been formatted each time. After a phone call to the nearest computer repair shop and a trip that seems to take a day when it's really just 20 minutes, you find out that the File Allocation Table has been either moved or altered, meaning that the files are still on the computer, but the computer can't find them. Because your computer is running Windows 98—-and therefore using the obsolute FAT 32 allocation system—-there's no guarantee that you can get the data back from the hard drive, or if the problem can even be fixed...... That happened to me this past July. I have yet to find out if all of the hard drive can be saved or not.

[hydrangeyes]

Homage

So if you don't know, Yes this already existed, my old account was deleted (accident but I can tell I won't be getting it back), and am reposting my old x male reader works!

I don't know if I saved all of them but here is one that was saved to my AO3 account.

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Edit Nov.8.2023: I was cooking with this one, to bad I was satisfied with the appetizer lol

A jujutsu Kaisen fic I’m making for myself, inuyasha vibes featuring ex sukuna and Gojo the brat, relationships still up in the air, male reader specifically

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Chapter 1: Someone wrote this song before

It wasn’t raining that day. No, it was hot and sunny. There was even a nice breeze every now and then. The smell of the woods and the sounds of cicada, that wide grin you use to find charming. It was the only thing your senses could pick up. Smell, sound, sight. Was this his plan all along?

__________________

Orange blossom park was a rather large and popular. Many come to sightsee and pay homage to its lucky tree. The rumor has it where anyone brave enough to touch the tree and greet it then apologize, you would without a doubt be granted your deepest desire. 

A weird rumor and one with just as odd of steps but, it hasn’t been disproven yet.

Of course, mainly lovers or anyone who really just wanted some form of luck actually went about doing this. Others came because the tree truly was beautiful and was the perfect spot for photos.

And today was just the perfect day to visit. The trees’ flowers were in full bloom, the area smelt amazing, and well, who wouldn’t at least pass by for lunch or just a quick relaxing sit-down. 

It’s too bad you were waking up today,

The park’s ground rumbled and began to tremble. A bit of a surprise but no one really started to panic until the trembling became a quake. The ground shattered and burst, roots shot out from each crack. 

All hell broke loose as others tried to make it out of the park and away while others were caught on the roots or falling into the gaps.

One after the other the tree’s roots lashed out trying to raise the tree itself but it was struggling. So after a little more, it stopped. 

The park was a wreck, those who slipped in the gaps eventually came out unharmed….It was written off as a very strange earthquake. After all, the park area was the only one affected.

—–

 A good 20-minute bus ride away Yuji Itadori stopped mid-talking a he felt a wave of energy run through him. Inside he can also feel sukuna standing attention. He couldn’t help but ignore his friends as his focus went to the sounds of soft crying and the feeling of sukuna getting restless.

Nobara and Fushiguro watched as he zoned out mid-talking. The three of them were lucky enough to have lunch breaks around the same time. 

And usually, Itadori was talking up a storm about a class or two, so hearing the chatter suddenly stop? It was weird. “Hey, idiot at least finish your sentence before ignoring us!” Nobara huffs, giving Itadori a sharp jab on the chest which seemed to snap him out of it.

“Ah! Sorry sorry, I just…thought I heard someone crying? I even felt something weird..” He mumbles rubbing the back of his neck trailing off. Nobara and Fushiguro glanced at each other then a bit more seriously at Itadori. 

“Is Sukuna fucking with you?” Nobara asks glaring at his cheek. But before Itadori could answer a familiar mouth pops up on his cheek. “Shut it brat, this time it’s not me…It’s something all of you should keep an ear out for and avoid.”

Hearing the lack of taunt and condescending tones in his voice set everyone on edge. What was it that Itadori sensed to make Sukuna wary?

________________________

Short one short one short one, But hey this is pretty self indulgent, Sorry y/n that you don’t appear for a hot minute lol, pretty unedited

[todaysthinks]

White Runtz Strain pt. 2. (The TLDR)

The first-time user review of White Runtz from 3 weeks ago can be found

here

TL;DR

It is important to have an intention for this strain, and to not plan to go anywhere. If you are especially susceptible to paranoia, I'd *really* consider how bad you want the creative and motivated effects that come afterward. It's GREAT for thinking or tasks that require focus. To me, the benefits FAR outweigh the first 1/3 of the high.

The Sequence of Events

First thing, I get a head rush, and then again whenever I stand up, and then a dull headache/headiness (hard to decipher) for about two hours. Half the time I've had to pop an ibuprofen before bed.

I panic about having a panic attack, and as a result start thinking about all the terrible tragedy scenarios that could befall me and my family and *cause* a panic attack. I've reconciled that with this strain, good stuff comes after but I have to suffer through 30 minutes of this stuff first.

My body turns nummy from the chest outward and I remind myself I am definitely *not* having a heart attack.

Whoa! Suddenly I have to do something creative. My face is warm and tingly, eyelids heavy, gentle swaying back and forth but for some reason I switch to belly breathing instead of chest breathing and I thank myself for it later after I've been sitting for three hours.

I put on a youtube video and challenge myself to set up my keyboard, computer, guitar, pedals, computer, etc. before the video ends. I feel "play".

Two nights ago, I wrote a 4:40-minute song in about 3 hours, and it's *awesome*. Yesterday, I tidied up two separate songs, wrote a blog post, and spent a couple hours practicing different ways to use glitter. It's massively thinky. White Runtz is worth all the panic because of this part.

The Overall Wrap-up:

Try to do something that doesn't require a lot of moving. A concert would suck, sports would suck, walking a lot sucks. The head rushes happen when blood pressure is low. Possibly doing any of these would alleviate the headrush problem after some time, but I'm not willing to try it. (Like maybe stretching or some low-intensity movement would be nice with this strain?)

For music, I was pumped full of ideas, and more importantly, motivation to finish the project! I usually get stuck at 90% on everything I do, usually I have the rough draft recorded and I need to re-record the entire thing and send it to a collaborator or Soundcloud. But I never get around to that part. This strain leads me effortlessly to the final 10% and the "a-ha" moments. I go to bed proud, not sick of my song, and pleased with whatever weird-sounding shit I just came up with. That finishing off does WONDERS for my self-esteem and also creates another instance of owning whatever my strange brain just created and not caring a CENT whether or not people like it, it's gonna be released.

With art, It provokes experimentation. I had a moment yesterday where I tried out something super weird with a piece of work, LOVED it, said, "you know what? I'm just gonna wipe it and see what happens," LOVED IT... and then got overzealous and ruined it. But then! I did about 7 glitter experiments and I'm confident I'll find a way to cover up my shameful spot. It was a lesson in constraint. I don't have to have constraint with music because I can delete and re-record a hundred times if I want. But with art I gotta learn when to stop! Eventually I will edit this spot to include a hyperlink to Society6 when my picture is completed, scanned, tidied up.

It's a nice strain for gardening or pulling weeds, or doing gentle outside stuff. Playing with dogs is hysterical. My vision is normal, I sway back and forth a little bit, I breathe properly, sit up straight. My thinking is clear, I get more "into" whatever I'm doing, I have breakthroughs about insecurities, profound ideology shifts, or finding out-of-the-box solutions for problems.

Taking the opportunity to insert this bit of wisdom: I will never EVER drive high, and half the time won't be a passenger, either. I don't ever want to be in an emergency situation and not have total control of myself, so I use cannabis *only* after all my driving is done for the night. Some of you need to please chill out on that. People don't care on the road, more and more it seems, and your likelihood of having to use your reflexes are increasing daily because of -other people that may not be you- and you don't know what your motor skills and response time are like until you have to use them. Don't be high. If you've ever had a tiny voice in your mind that says, "Dude you know you don't need to be high to drive home," heed it.

This being said, being a passenger is kind of freaky if a person overdoes it on the WR. You gotta just be glad someone else is driving because you would NOT have seen that car if you were the driver right now. But if you're with someone you trust, enjoy your pretty surroundings and take a good look at them!! You'll notice new details and feel a fresh sense of excitement about your cool city.

After about two hours, I pass the heck out. So I have to time it right. I can't watch baseball or anything low-movement because I'll fall asleep, and I can't be in the heat gardening for too long because... I'll fall asleep. If I have steady focus, like an art project, outside thing, playing with pets, or a blog idea, I'll procrastinate taking a nap and get a second wind when it wears off.

Controversial thought for moms and dads, but I would use this if I were still in college doing homework. I'm currently writing all of this under its influence. However, it might make a difference to me whether or not I like the material. It's a strain that can coax you into getting "sucked in" but you have to care about it. If you don't care about it, you'll get distracted often. I would NOT use it in public. This needs to be after you worked on something all day, took a break for dinner and decompressing, and need to nail the final stretch of your thing for the night. You've got about 2 hours of deep focus until a "spread" creeps across your face and makes your eyelids heavy.

I also credit this strain with the a-ha moment that made me realize I should write this kind of content and create art with it, and perhaps growers or dispensaries would pay me for an in-depth break-down, videos, and custom artsy stuff.

[amlovelies]

like real people do

this is another one of those prompts form the beginning of the year that I am just getting around to filling. I don’t have the original ask because I deleted it out of shame, but better late than never!

from the fictional kiss prompts

lazy morning kisses before they’ve even opened their eyes, still mumbling half-incoherently, not wanting to wake up

fandom: fhr pairing: Julia Ortega/f!sidestep (Cynthia Basri) words: 685 rating: M no smut but implied sexual content read on ao3

            You aren’t used to waking up like this. There’s no jolting escape from memories better left hidden, no nausea of your psyche slamming back into your flesh, but rather a slow gradual awareness of the self, of your surroundings. The sheets feel lush against your skin--too soft, expensive, just like the plush pillows beneath your head. There’s no soreness in your back from your too cheap mattress, instead your limbs feel languid and heavy. You don’t want to move, not that you could if you wanted to. Not with the way that Ortega has you almost pinned to the mattress.

               Part of your brain is screaming at you to run. So many years spent hiding; it’s a hard habit to shake. You still can’t bring yourself to look down, to see your tattooed limbs in the early morning light that is bleeding through the curtains. On display, as if they aren’t something to be ashamed of, as if you aren’t something to be ashamed of. You flush as you remember the night before, the tenderness of her hands as she caressed your skin. As if you were precious, as if you were real.

               There’s a grumble of protest as you begin to shift to try and extract yourself. Her grip tightening pulling you back, pulling you closer. A whisper, “stay, please” her face nuzzled into your neck. A kiss on your shoulder. A shiver down your spine.

               “I will,” you say, your voice a raspy broken thing. You hear her sigh of relief. A trail of kisses along your jaw her lips are seeking yours finding them by touch alone. Her eyes are still closed refusing to let the morning arrive.

               All thoughts of getting up fleeing as she kisses you. It is slow and languid. You didn’t think you could get any closer, but she pulls you flush against her body, hand running over you side, down your spine. Not with intent, but just exploring, enjoying the feel. And you let yourself be lost to it. Let it quell your rising anxiety and panic and just be present in the moment.

               The kiss breaks, and you watch as she squeezes her eyes tighter shut for just a moment before opening them. Her smile is luminous as your eyes meet. She reaches out to your face, thumb tracing the scar on your cheek.

               “I was afraid to open my eyes,” she admits. “You usually disappear.”

               You don’t know what to say to that. You still don’t know how to deal with the pain you can see in her face, the pain of those missing years. Did you really believe she would just forget about you? That you didn’t haunt her thoughts the way she always did yours.

               So instead, you kiss her again, and her arms pull you tight against her, maybe still not quite believing you are actually there. You’re not sure you believe it. This was never something you thought you could have. Never in your wildest dreams did you think you could be here. In her bed, in her arms, in her heart. Revealed, and she still loves you. Still wants you.

               “You did promise me breakfast.” A joke because it’s easier, familiar territory for both of you.

               “That I did,” she says with a laugh before intertwining her fingers with yours and pulling your hand up to kiss your knuckles. You try not to flinch as the sheet falls back and exposes you arm. The orange stark and shocking against the whiteness of the sheets. There’s no sign that it bothers her. Can she really be this accepting of your inhumanity? You kept waiting for it to be too much for her, for the knowledge to settle, for the shock to wear off, and for her to turn away from you. It’s no less than you deserve. You never deserved her. She doesn’t deserve what you have done to her life.

               “Hey--” her voice breaking through your thoughts as she squeezes your hand a little tighter trying to draw your attention away from the tattoos— “thank you for staying.”

tagging @lord-king-saint @roses-and-roux @lilyoffandoms

[somebodystoleme]

you know when it's time to go | miya atsumu x reader

summary: you always knew you and atsumu could never be together; you were two worlds apart, and two worlds it will stay

w.c: > 1.0k

a/n: UHH PART 2???? y'all im so sorry abt the request i'm almost done w/ most of them :)))

warnings: cheating, angst, cliffhanger

you know when it's time to go

when you got home from your shift at the coffee shop, it seemed that time had stopped. atsumu's sports jacket laid across the wooden table, you two bought when it was your 19th birthday. but as you take a closer look at it you realize how scratched up it looks, you see the water stains on the time.

you know where atsumu is right now. he's with her. you know he is. as you grab out the wine bottle and pop it open, you can't help to wonder why you are with him to start.

maybe it's cause he stuck with you when you were grounded your whole senior year. you used to have sleepovers with your best friend so you could text him on her phone, smiling constantly. but soon trouble spewed all over everything that was supposed to be perfect.

you first noticed the way he looks at her in sophomore year. she had that personality. you know! that one! the funny one, the happy one, and the one who fakes everything cause that was what she was taught. you on the other hand were completely opposite. while she was out partying with him, you were stuck at home trying to study for your ap exam the next day.

or perhaps maybe it's because when you spent time complaining over your parent's divorce, she was bragging about her new weight. it constantly felt like a competition, it was all a sick game in her head. she knew i was angry. but he wasn't mine, so why should you care?

until senior prom. you dressed up in your finest attire. all your stupid paycheck from that stupid coffee shop you still work at. he wore the black suit he's had since 9th grade. something changed between you two that night. he thought you seemed like an angel underneath the light, you likewise. he kissed you. right underneath that cheap disco.

he was a dream.

his lips were chapped that night, you run your hand over your mouth to maybe have some recognition of that night. nothing. you run cold thinking about miya astumu now.

he would ask you out the next day. and you said yes. but dear god did he make you happy.

you caught astumu cheating on you for the first time last may. your head plopped down on his tough chest. you were watching a thriller and pulled the blanket closer to the both of you. but as the movie kept on going, he kept texting someone. every three minutes he pulled his phone out and his cheesy grin would plaster on.

you were confused at first

angry the second

you grabbed the phone.

it just happen, it felt gravitated towards it, you grabbed it.

you saw the messages and even who it was. atsumu didn't even try to hide it. you scrolled throughout. but what shocked you the most was-

it was from her.

you cry about it, you should've left when that happened. but you didn't. you let him again after the fight. he promised he would cut it off. he said he started going to church. that was the first time you ever saw such panic on his face.

you know he's cheating right now. you check the clock. 2 a.m. he deleted life360 a long time ago.

"it's invasion of privacy!"

"but- atsumu. you cheated on me! don't forget that!"

"i don't care. aurora wouldn't do this."

he said it as if i was the monster- like i forced him to date me. i should've broken up with him then. on sundays, he would tell he was going to church. but now that i think about it, he's never once told me anything about it.

the door opens.

it's atsumu thinking i'm about to start begging for him to tell him what's wrong. but i'm not.

"atsumu."

"y/n."

"let's end this."

"what."

"whatever sick game you and aurora are playing let's stop it."

"why? why would you leave. i gave you everything."

i turned around to face him, "atsumu- or should i say miya now? i know you and her are fucking behind my back. i didn't know church lasted till 2 a.m?"

"y/n. i can't do this again. i love you so much! why don't you see this? are you crazy or something?"

"i'm not crazy! i'm just sick of waiting for you to change! you never showed any sign of change; just lies, lies, lies! i'm sick." i grab my phone off the wooden table and my cardigan.

"goodbye atsumu."

[aforrestofstuff]

This is the Reddit post I was talking about earlier. I was gonna share the link to the draft but that doesn't work for everyone so just figured it would be easier to format it to Tumblr.

Edit:

For background context: this is an essay I made detailing three key problematic aspects of OPM and how they contribute to harming marginalized groups. Subreddit mods deleted it within twenty minutes. Within that tiny window of time, I had already received death threats and had my account reported for self-harm. Not to mention all the shit idiot brain fungus comments.

I was blinded by hubris in thinking I could convince those mongrels to have an introspective thought. My mistake. But not all is lost, now I can use this as a point of reference when talking about this sort of stuff in the future.

Why doesn't anyone talk about this?

Maybe it's because I rarely ever scroll the sub here, but I have seen very few people hold ONE and Murata accountable for the very problematic content in OPM. Any attempts I've seen immediately get shut down with different iterations of: "They're Japanese, why should they care about 'Western' ideas such as homophobia/racism/transphobia, etc." and that is extremely harmful.

It's racist in itself to think that Japanese people are too infantile to understand such elementary concepts like Racism is Bad and Being Gay Doesn't Make You A Bad Person. ONE and Murata are grown men with dick and balls, they can put the concepts together the same as anyone on the receiving end of the stereotypes they perpetuate can.

And it's not like Japanese people don't already understand these concepts anyway? There are so many people in Japan fighting for the rights of the marginalized groups living there: gay activists, trans activists, Black activists, etc. (source.source.)

The most troubling things in the manga/webcomic:

I'm just gonna list off really stereotypical, harmful things put in the manga/webcomic and hopefully it'll be comprehensive enough to be used as a point of reference in future discussion, even if only used by me. I think holding these conversations is extremely helpful to make sure everyone recognizes that these things are not only wrong but also why they're wrong, therefore giving a deeper understanding of how they contribute to the discrimination of marginalized groups.

-Puri-Puri-Prisoner's Whole Deal.

Puri-Puri-Prisoner (abbreviated to PPP for convenience) is a very blatant Gay Male Rapist stereotype. Homophobes often tend to associate homosexuality with hypersexuality, moral depravity, and of course--sexual assault. This sort of character trope is harmful because while you, the audience member, wouldn't necessarily label yourself as a homophobe and don't associate homosexuality with any of those things, the characterization still makes those subconscious connections in your head. Then, when you see the same trope again and again and again, your brain just starts to make those associations. If it happens to enough people, this contributes to discrimination. This sort of homosexuality = predator stereotype literally led to the Gay Panic Defense (source), in which straight people were --in many cases--allowed to get off scot-free after killing gay people if they were making same-sex advances.

And no, "It's just satire" is not a viable defense. To be satirical, the creator and the material must show a clear understanding of the trope or stereotype and actively work against it. Like, maybe if ONE alluded to PPP being a sexual predator, then showed that his relationships with his boyfriends were actually safe and consensual, that would show a clear understanding of the stereotype and subsequently flip it on its head. There is no such thing as this though. PPP is genuinely a gay male rapist, an appalling misrepresentation of the community.

-Superalloy Darkshine's design and backstory.

Superalloy Darkshine is drawn as a caricature of Black people often seen in minstrelsy (red "donut" lips being the main indicator) and no, ignorance is not a viable defense to this because Japan has a long and awful history of minstrelsy and racism and it's impossible to ignore.

Other similar designs in manga have also been slammed (SD included) for the same shit. This isn't a new concept. What makes it jarring is that Superalloy isn't even Black, but by just him getting bigger and tanner, he is drawn like a stereotype--which has a whole load of negative connotations in itself.

ONE had many opportunities to tweak his backstory before re-hashing it in the manga. He didn't.

The damage it can cause to see your features and race be negatively stereotyped in the media you enjoy is absolutely devastating. If you don't fit into this demographic, I hope you recognize the privilege in never having to see characters who are meant to represent you be used in hating you.

-Okamaitachi and transphobia.

Okamaitachi is a trans woman. It took years for the wiki to even say that, along with using her correct pronouns. A user tried to edit it back twice because apparently "she is not a real woman"... transphobia, transphobia, transphobia...

To this day, she is still being referred to as a "shemale" in the manga and webcomic, which is an offensive term targeted at transwomen and made to insinuate that they're not real women. And, back to the wiki, if we were being truly manga/webcomic accurate, her "correct" pronouns would be he/him but that's just the point: it is once again insinuating that she is not a real woman. The insinuation that transwomen are not real women largely contributes to hate crimes against them; people will be under the assumption that they are just looking to predate young women and use that to justify harrassment and assault against them. Of course, this couldn't be further from the truth.

ONE once again had many opportunities to tweak these things before re-hashing them in the manga. He didn't.

Even if, somehow, he were ignorant to all of these things being wrong (despite the LGBTQ+ rights movement being alive and well in Japan), that doesn't mean he can't learn to get it together now. Making this kind of content is unacceptable regardless of whether or not he knew it was wrong, the damage will be done (and has been done) regardless.

I want ONE and Murata to be held accountable in a way that affects them, but I know that probably won't happen. We might only be able to do it in the community, on an individual level, letting ourselves and each other know that this isn't tolerated. To this day, all of this still makes me so uncomfortable to think about; people sometimes ask me why I love OPM, but don't like ONE or Murata. This is why. It’s really hard to like people who are actively doing harm to communities I’m part of.

Let me know if I missed anything. Thanks for reading this far. Once again, these conversations are important even if it makes people uncomfortable. Radio silence does nothing to assure marginalized fans that the community doesn't perpetuate harmful stereotypes, and it's even worse when those stereotypes are perpetuated anyways.

Edit: In regards to Okama's name.