#and don't get me wrong i used to love my job

[dynamicsimp]

I'm sorry for not uploading and answering ask, I was pretty busy because of family issues, Don't worry! We're just fine.

I got some lore ready though!

Bare with me, my writing is actually ass and cringy

Wukong: Agh! What the!? Macaque, get off! Pried Macaque off of him

Macaque: laughs as he stood back Alright whatever you say, Love.

Wukong: blinking Okay this must be a misunderstanding, but I'm not your love.

Macaque: Yes you are.

Wukong: No-

Macaque: Yes.

Wukong: No, I'm-

MK walked in, seeing both Wukong and Macaque.

MK: Uhh Monkey King, there's someone who wants to see you-?

All three monkeys went outside to see a figure standing with a sword pointed to Tang, Pigsy and Mei. MK went in front of them, extending his arms out to shield his beloved family.

Wukong:...Tu'er-

Tu Shen: ...Sun Wukong. Grabs his scarf and shakes him WHAT WERE YOU THINKING. STEALING FROM YUE LAO LIKE THAT..!?

Tang: YUE LA- gets his mouth covered

Wukong: Hey woah stop-! Getting dizzy

Tu Shen: stopped I can't believe you! Don't tell me you've done something with it- sees Macaque Oh gods Wukong...

Wukong: looks at Macaque Why..is there something wrong...?

Tu Shen: You shot him!? Who did he saw first when he woke up!? Stares at all of them that were in the restaurant

Wukong: Me. Seriously is there something wrong with the gu-

Tu Shen: It's a Cupid's Gun for crying out loud.

Everyone:...

Wukong: Wait so..Oh gods..

Tu Shen: knocks his head Great Job, you let your enemy fall in love with you!

Wukong: Well how do we change him back smart guy!?

Tu Shen: No cure. (W: WHAT!?) But I could extract it from his eye-

Wukong: steps in front of Macaque No what-? That's not- Is there any more non painful way-!?

Tu Shen: None but I'll be letting all of you to take care of him while I'm gone. I'll brief all of you on this matter.

Yue Lao's Gun, more so Cupid's Gun is a highly dangerous artifact used by tricksters. The demons who have crafted this, gifted it to Yue Lao to spread love. One bullet was used and disasters strike. The Old Man on the Moon returned the artifact back to it's original owner but the mischievous demons used the gun to spread chaos. Yue Lao sealed the gun, never to be seen again.

Tu Shen: jabs Wukong Until you unsealed it!

Wukong: HEY! IT LOOKED LIKE A POWERFUL ARTIFACT.........I had to get my hands on it-

Tu Shen: You impulsive cheeky monkey. Just keep an eye on your friend...Judging by the looks of it, the bullet had made it's home inside his mind.

MK: WHAT!? What do you mean??

Mei: HOME? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOME??

Tu Shen: It's more than just a bullet, that thing is a parasite.

Tang: A p-p-parasite!??

Pigsy: Ain't no bug is gonna be in my kitchen!

MK: Is there anyway we'd should know to keep an eye on him?

Mei: Yeah there's must be, oh I don't know, a step by step instructions or something!

Tu Shen: Just don't give him affections, the bug gets powerful by it.

Macaque: taps on Wukong's shoulder Can I have a hug?

Wukong: stares at Macaque.....Sure bud, come he-

Macaque: hugs Wukong

Wukong: ! ...........smiles softly as he hugs him back

Tu Shen: What did I just say-

Tu Shen: Well that's not good.

MK: Monkey King-! Tu'er Shen said no affections!

Mei: This is gonna be bad..

[mybworlds]

Chapter 9: Emptiness

Pairing: joel miller x f!reader (no use of Y/N) | Rating: 18+ Minors DNI | W.C.:

Summary: Your life sounds perfect: you live with a perfect man, you live in your dream house, you do the job you love, you don't miss anything, except love and passion.

Warnings: no use of Y/N, use of you, reader is a photographer, reader has no physical descriptions except hair (no type or color) long enough to hold on to, unspecified age gap, Joel and reader are two cheaters, for a while. Smut, use of pet names, dirty talk, masturbation, unprotected PiV but the first time, creampies, comeplay, oral (both f and m recieving), exhibitionism, size kink, personal use of an unspecified sex toy. No outbreak here. Let me know if I missed anything!

Masterlist

follow @mybworlds and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics

Thx for the dividers @saradika-graphics

Taglist @harriedandharassed

The air suddenly becomes suspended, as if charged with a strange electricity. Patrick no longer speaks and Joel seems to have become a statue, you don't know what to do or say. You wish you hadn't been so direct and hasty in your words, but now it's done, you can't go back.

“Patrick?” you resume “I'm sorry, but I had to tell you the truth. It's not fair that you still believe or hope that we'll get back together.” you are lapidary even though you don't know if there will actually something with Joel, but you really hope so.

Patrick sighs, “I see.” He sighs again, “Are you happy?”

You feel a tightness in the pit of your stomach, you close your eyes and look up at Joel who instead is not looking at you anymore and you feel empty. Is he afraid? Does he not want to? Does he not care about you?

On the other hand, he’s always been clear, he told you since your first meeting that he doesn't want a relationship with you or anyone else, why should he change his mind now? For you? Not even before you were in bed, he told you that he wanted a future with you, he just told you that he was fine, but... while for you that might mean having feelings, for him it might not be like that.

“I'm confused.” You are sincere in your response to Patrick.

“He doesn’t want you?” he asks you.

You look up at Joel who has his back to you now, his body turned toward the kitchen and his hands resting on the sink, his head still low.

“I don't know.” You answer him and in those moments, seeing his reaction, you can't help but wonder if deep down you didn't do everything wrong with Joel and Patrick. “Patrick, I'm sorry,” you add, clutching the phone tighter.

“We’ve both hurt each other, baby.” He sighs. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with him, but I hope he makes you feel more important than I did.” he adds with a regretful tone.

You wanted to tell him that given Joel's expression, it's highly unlikely that you can or he will want to continue seeing you. But you don’t say anything.

“I wish you every happiness,” Patrick tells you again.

“Yes, you too.” there’s still a moment of silence between you, then he ends the call.

You place the phone on Joel's kitchen peninsula and then look up, taking in the weight of the words you just said: Joel is silent and motionless as if everything he has heard has robbed him of the strength to move and speak. He still doesn't look at you.

“Joel?” you call, getting up from the stool. “I’m sorry you heard it that way, but… it’s the truth.”

He sighs, looking towards the window next to the kitchen, “Do you know why I never wanted to bond with someone again?” he asks without looking at you.

You shake your head, even though you know he's not looking at you.

“Because I can’t stand to see or hear words like the ones I heard. D’ you know what my ex-wife said to me when I tried to find a way to get back together?” he pauses, a long one and that's when he turns towards you “That she had fallen in love with someone else, that she was confused, that things between us weren't workin’. Do you know how that made me feel? Useless, a useless man." he nods “And the worst thing is that Patrick is my friend and I did what I did to him.”

You frown, “There were two of us, there have always been two of us who were together, in confiding in each other.” You tell him almost in a pleading tone “Please, don’t feel guilty. We both wanted it.” he shakes his head. “Joel? Please don’t.” a horrible creepy feeling spreads inside you, Joel doesn't want you. He's pushing you away.

Your eyes fill with tears, your lips tremble, you look down, while timid tears fly towards the floor. You feel like throwing up, a feeling of rejection, of pain tightens your stomach making you almost unable to breathe.

“Please, talk to me.” you beg.

His face becomes tense, then he finally looks up at you and the sweet look you had found there until a few minutes ago has disappeared. He looks cold, his gaze hard, then shakes his head, “I can’t.” his gaze is empty, unrecognizable.

“Maybe we could...”

“No.” his tone is cold, he doesn’t allow for replies “There’s no us.” you freeze in place "You better go.” he adds, looking everywhere but at you.

The world around you is spinning wildly. Suddenly nothing seems to make sense, every thought you have is jumbled together so meaningless. Your lower lip is trembling, shy tears are streaming down your cheeks, “That was the reason why I just fucked. Now even that won't be possible anymore because every time it’ll happens, I won't be able to help but wonder if I will see your same look in another woman, or if any other woman won't want to change her life because of me." his is a thin whisper in which each word is well articulated and impossible not to hear.

You’re about to tell him not to shut himself away, not to treat you like this, but he interrupts you again, “When you go out, make sure you close the door tightly.”

You're about to repeat his name and beg him not to treat you like this, but nothing comes out of your mouth, not even a sound. He gives you one last long, silent look, then you're left alone in his house.

You look desperate and absent at the same time, you don't even know where you're going. You only know that you're empty, completely empty. Your heart is beating hard in your chest, it hurts. You are speechless and almost breathless. What happened has completely shaken you. You are struggling not to give in to the tears that are building up in the back of your eyes.

Everything is destroyed. Everything is lost.

You have lost everything.

You have nothing left and what could have been a beautiful project that you could have shared with him, with Joel, has disintegrated because by his own admission he himself has already lived everything and does not intend to do it again. He's always been clear from the beginning. His previous relationship burned him so much that even his heart is reduced to ashes and now maybe hearing it beat again for someone pains him so much that he doesn't want to feel it.

You wipe away your tears a couple of times, not wanting to attract anyone's attention. You know that surely no one will even look at your face, but crying for you has always been an act to be done alone.

You have now arrived in front of your shop, the seat of your great infinite pride, your job. Maybe everything can start from here, from who you are, a photographer, a good photographer. And it's not you who says it, but the people who turn to you.

You struggle to concentrate, your mind often goes back there, to that silent goodbye. Joel won't go back. If his ex-wife hurt him as much as he says, he won't look for you again.

No matter how hard you try to think positively, to focus on something else, your mind always takes you back to that exact moment, to when you destroyed three lives at once, when you uttered those fateful words.

I fell in love with someone else.

You feel stupid because for a day you really had illusions that Joel could choose you, but then all of that dissolved before your eyes, shattering your hopes and your heart.

Emptiness.

That's what you feel.

Emptiness.

Just a deep, unbridgeable void.

As the hours pass, the situation does not improve, indeed it seems always be worse.

You feel weak, cowardly, maybe the problem is not Patrick or Joel who clearly rejected you, but you are the problem. Maybe you need so much love, passion, desire that you don't care about making others feel bad if you're fine.

What kind of person have you become?

Daisy's words that should comfort you make you collapse into a state of great despair. She’s very sweet, she takes great care of you in every possible and imaginable way, but all this doesn't lift your spirits.

You don't know what kind of person you are anymore. You once knew exactly who you were and what you wanted, you thought you knew it and you went straight down that road.

The result?

You hit a wall called Joel Miller. A wall that left your heart broken, bleeding and humiliated you like no one had ever done before.

But you want to make a last desperate attempt, you want to talk to him. You want to do it calmly, find the right words and not be reckless. You know it will almost certainly hurt to hear certain things, but you want to hear them. You have two.

Are you a masochist?

Yes, maybe.

But then you tell yourself that if he's cruel to you again, you'll be the one who doesn't want to think about him anymore. You want him, you want him in your life, but you don't want someone who makes you feel weak and vulnerable, who uses you and then throws you away like that.

You are not like that, you know it. You know you are worth so much more than this. You deserve better. And if that better is being without Joel Miller, then so be it.

Daisy of course advises you against it. She says you aren’t thinking clearly yet. You feel confused, but determined.

It's been almost three weeks and now you're sure you want to talk to him, you need to. Even if you know you probably won't get a different answer than the one you've already had, but as much as it may hurt you now you want to put an end to it.

The emptiness he left in you has given way to disappointment and anger.

You reach his house thinking about what to say to him, but everything seems stupid or incoherent. You are in front of his place.

You ring the bell.

What the fuck are you doing here?

You hear a voice shouting ‘comin’, it’s a woman. Your heart skips a beat. A moment later, a beautiful woman opens the door. The woman is wearing a bathrobe, she looks strong and determined, but above all happy. She smiles at you, “You’re the delivery guy, aren’t you? You were fast!”

You're shocked, “No... uhm, is Joel there?”

“Yes, are you a colleague of his?” she asks you, pulling the edges of his bathrobe a little tighter.

“No.”

“So, who are you?” she asks.

“Uhm…”

“Tess, who’s there?” another voice from inside reaches your ears. It's Joel.

Joel appears behind her, opening the door a little wider. His expression changes from puzzled to astonished, then he becomes gloomy, “What are you doing here?” he asks you.

What are you doing there? You're wondering that too.

Tess looks at your face, then at Joel's. You don't know what to answer.

You kind of expected it, but not in such a brutal way. He replaced you even though he told you he couldn't do that anymore after what you told him.

“Sorry, I was wrong to come.” You don’t know what else to say to them.

How stupid!

You turn your back on them, feeling a lump in your throat. You move away quickly from Joel’s place. You were wrong to go there, but now more than ever you feel like you can move on and stop thinking about him. He has already replaced you. There’s nothing left for you.

You decide you don't want to think about Joel Miller anymore, since you met him you have fallen into a vortex of passion, he has satisfied you every time, but no one has shattered your heart like he did. You hold your hair with both hands, tonight you stay in your shop where you tinker with the computer. You look back at all the photoshoots you've done over the last two years and think about how many times you've put yourself aside to please others, but making yourself unhappy and pretending it was your decision.

Now all this has to end. From now on you will only think about yourself, for a while enough with love. You have only known how to make a lot of messes. You go through some old emails and find one from a few years ago that you received for a fashion show of a prestigious fashion house. You never wanted to trash it because you liked to remember that moment and then because in the email as a post scriptum they had written to you that if you had been interested there would always have been a place for you. It was really a great service that you did, you remember that they wrote to you that the sales had even tripled after your work!

You smile while looking at the screen. Why not!

Maybe Saint Barbara will do you good.

[cheerfullycatholic]

So I'm currently a pro-choice Christian, but I'm starting to lean towards pro-life recently? But I'm worried about the implication of banning abortions.

I'm worried about how abortions don't stop our even slow down when illegal, the same amount of them happen just dangerously.

I'm worried about miscarriages and how they're sometimes treated as a murder case in abortion illegal places.

I'm worried about doctors refusing to give life saving abortions to those who need it in face of persecution.

I'm worried about young children who can't give birth safely being forced to.

I'm split about the 1 baby vs 100 fertilized eggs question, where if the 100 fertilized eggs were really as sentient as a baby why would we save the baby every time instead of the 100 fertilized eggs.

I think it's best to give out birth control and sex education and make it easier to be a parent and I don't think abortion is what you should run to automatically, but idk. I got suggested your blog to help, what do you think?

Hi! I think your concerns are important and I'd love to talk about them (I'll number them all so nothing gets jumbled up) (my answers are below the cut because they're long)

1. Firstly, it's been reported many times that abortion rates do fall when made illegal or hard to get, while birth rates rise. Illegal abortions are much more dangerous, but I do not believe that is a good enough reason to allow abortion, because no matter what someone dies, which isn't good in any situation. More help for pregnant women and their babies is essential no matter the circumstances, but especially after abortion is made illegal so that women don't have to feel like they have no other choice but to have a dangerous back alley procedure. And to me at least, it doesn't feel right to say "abortions will happen anyway so we might as well keep them legal so they'll happen safely" because what else could that apply to? Murder? Driving drunk? Doing drugs? They'll happen anyway, after all

2 and 3. In America at least (where I'm from), there is no law that has made miscarriage illegal. One that caused a lot of ruckus was the Texas Heartbeat Law. People claimed that the law would criminalize miscarriage care and would lead to a bunch of investigations, but they rarely happen, and if they do, it's usually either because the police have reason to believe illegal activities were involved in the death of the baby (like illicit drug use or the baby being left to die or killed after being born alive) or because authorities don't actually know their own laws. There was one case where authorities got their own laws wrong in Texas, but the case was dismissed quickly. And just from everything that I've read so far, it seems to me that any legal action taken against someone for procuring an abortion would be taken against the abortion providers themselves, not the women getting the abortions

And this is what the heartbeat law states this, which mentions "life saving" abortions (emphasis added);

“Abortion” means the act of using or prescribing an instrument, a drug, a medicine, or any other substance, device, or means with the intent to cause the death of an unborn child of a woman known to be pregnant. The term does not include birth control devices or oral contraceptives. An act is not an abortion if the act is done with the intent to: (A) save the life or preserve the health of an unborn child; (B) remove a dead, unborn child whose death was caused by spontaneous abortion; or (C) remove an ectopic pregnancy.

"Spontaneous abortion" being a miscarriage. So at least in Texas and the other states with similar heartbeat laws, any doctor who refuses to treat women for fear of being prosecuted is wrong and should lose their jobs for medical malpractice

4. For any high risk pregnancy but especially for cases which involve young girls, there are steps in place to keep them safe which include increased monitoring, bed rest, certain medications, and early delivery. Young girls in the past have been able to give birth prematurely safely and without ending the lives of their children, but sometimes delivering their babies before viability is necessary and their babies die, but this is different than abortion and is not illegal. Again, if a doctor refuses to do an early delivery in order to try and save their patients, they are guilty of medical malpractice

5. I hate that thought experiment because the goal of everyone who asks it is to try and get you to say a born baby is more valuable than embryos and it's dumb. Whoever you choose to save in this made up scenario does not determine who is more valuable. All human life is valuable, choosing to save a born baby over a preborn baby doesn't diminish the value of the preborn baby, it just means you made a choice to save the born one. Which arguably (inarguably?) saving the born baby makes more sense because what are we supposed to do with the 100 frozen embryos after we get them out? They'll start to thaw and die pretty quickly if they haven't already from the fire in the ivf building

All around we can definitely do better in making sure women don't feel like their only choice is abortion like so many do (Silent No More has a ton of stories from women who felt like they had no choice or were forced into getting an abortion if you want to read them). I think our focus should be on addressing why women get abortions and doing our best to remedy their problems instead of killing their children. That's why I really like Let Them Live, an organization that raises money through community supported fundraisers for women who ask for their help. They have so many cool stories of women who accepted their help and are so glad that they chose life. If we really came together as a community that offered life affirming love and care, no one would have to be killed, and I think that's something that God would like, too. He did say after all that He hates the shedding of innocent blood (Proverbs 6:16-19). I can't think of anyone more innocent that little babies

(The first two links lead to Secular Pro Life, who have a lot of good resources and studies)

I really hope I was able to address your worries well enough (I'm still a bit sick so apologies if I didn't make much sense). If I forgot or missed anything or if you have questions please let me know, and if anyone has anything else they'd like to add (kindly, leaving your stinkiness at the door. Refer to my blog's title quote if you're confused), please feel free to!

[cxrpzebxy]

Oh, screw it. I'm throwing my hat into the ring too. Putting it under a cut.

I genuinely don't understand the pure level of vitriol the entire fanbase has for Jimmy in the main tag. It's ridiculous how much fanart is dedicated to harassing him, assaulting him, making him suffer. I get it to a degree, I hate rapists as much as the next dude.

The point of the damn game is that we aren't our worst moments. Anya says it herself.

I don't know any other way to put it than that.

At the very least make a separate tag for Jimmy hate.

We're a system, alright, and we split easily. We split a Jimmy fictive. It's making him genuinely really damn upset to see this in his tag. He's a person, not a character. So, at the very very least. Make a separate tag.

I'm not saying you can't hate Jimmy! I don't like Jimmy the character. But something I feel so very inclined to add is, canon Jimmy is just that, a character. They're vehicles to explore darker topics.

The game has many different topics and points simultaneously, and spending your entire time despising Jimmy for not knowing how to cope with the pressure cooker he put himself in is just, not reasonable fully. It's ruining your own experience of the game, and the fandom. I get it, justice for victims. Jimmy is as much a victim of circumstance as the rest are.

Yes, he made himself a victim in a sense.

That doesn't detract from him being a victim of the perpetrator of the overall causes of the game, capitalism, rape culture, toxic masculinity, lack of proper education and coping skills. There is so much that could've been prevented had Jimmy been taken seriously before this point in the game.

You spend most of the game in his head. You can attest to how much negativity he spreads constantly. He was never taught how to manage his emotions properly, otherwise the envy and jealousy that ate away at him constantly at every other crew member, wouldn't have caused this.

He's jealous of Anya, because she shows a level of pure determination, a level of success that he could never achieve. It's painful to see how much he truly respects and hates her in the same breath.

He's jealous of Curly. Obviously, right? He's also Curly's best friend. He clearly had good qualities to draw Curly to him in the first place, right? We only see the negative, because that's all Jimmy himself focuses on.

He's jealous of Daisuke. He sees Daisuke as a cushy little spoiled brat, right? He sees him as an entitled kid who's taking up space and energy the others could be using for their benefit. He wants the attention Daisuke gets, the love and care. Jimmy can't stomach being around Daisuke. It's part of why he talks to Daisuke next to the least.

He's even jealous of Swansea. Swansea has more than enough experience and resolve to outclass the rest. Jimmy is new to the freighter job, Curly says so. But, the thing is, Swansea is clearly doing more than his best to maintain order without overstepping his bounds. (We should also acknowledge how he didn't do anything to Jimmy before Daisuke died. He couldn't have, to be frank, but like, that's a whole different post.)

He's jealous of everyone. It's why he's wearing fucking green in the spaceship when everyone else is wearing blue, pink, yellow. Color theory is important, folks.

but like I do wanna say, this is all an interpretation of the character. I can't claim what wrong organ intended to do with him. They left a lot out on purpose, we don't get to see their day-to-day. We don't get to see so much of their lives in the crashed, or pre-crash Tulpar. That's very intentional, I'd argue.

But, to circle back to our Jimmy fictive. Like I said. He's just... A dude. He's a person. Like you, like me. He's not going to go out and rape and abuse people left and right. He's just a guy, with a ton more coping skills now. He's leveled out a ton since joining our system. He's not a walk-in, or anything, he's just an introject. He's just a man. Like the character is. Let the character exist before you scrutinize him for even existing in spaces to be analyzed and written off. He's not just an angry piece of shit, he's a nuanced, complete character with more flaws than most, but he's got to have more to him than that. There's genuinely no other explanation. The game is from his pov, so we only see what he deems as important. Please. Let him exist.

Make a separate tag for the hate. That's all I want.

[silentmouthpiece]

I hate to say it, but i might as well.

It would be so easy to become a Jimmy. Hell, there are Jimmy's everywhere, but no one wants to admit or even realize that it would be easy to be just like them.

A problem we have as a people is that as soon as someone commits a horrible or unforgivable act we dehumanize them call them monsters. I'm guilty of it as well. It makes it easier to separate them from us, to believe that no real human could commit such acts. The thing is...they are human. They are like us and we are like them.

Jimmy is human. A severely fucked up one who's gone unchecked to the point of catastrophe, but he's human like us. He sounds and acts like a human, and his actions are very fucking human. His issues that spiraled so out of control are so very human that when I look at them in a certain way I see my reflection in the mirror. I see Jimmy in the ways some people walk and how they talk, but no one ever wants to see Jimmy within themselves. I wish I could say I'm nothing like Jimmy, but I can see all the ways I'd turn out like him if just a few things were different.

If I were a man, would I have absord the toxic masculinity of the fathers and guy friends in my life and all that entails? If I was less empathetic, would I let my resentment at the state of my life control me to the point I can only see the worst in others instead of force myself to maintain a sliver of compassion and optimism? If I wasn't desperate to be self-aware, would my crippling fear of failure and lack of self-worth blind me to the reality that I allowed them to hollow me out and leave me with nothing to be proud of? If a younger me didn't convince myself that I can only punish myself for anything that happens, would I have turned my anger and listlessness into a blade that cuts others instead of turn it inwards or share it with my friends? Would I inflict pain on others once I realized I could fullfil a need by doing so? I could go on.

I am also ashamed to admit that one of my knee-jerk reactions to hurting someone badly (albiet unintentionally) or realizing I was increadibly wrong about something is denial. It doesn't last forever but I will obsess over it for a long time afterwards. It's a nasty feeling and it's an instinct that literally feels like a chain yanking my brain to follow it. Primal fear feels like that as well, and it rears it's ugly head when I'm faced with confronted with reality and consequences of my actions.

I want to go back to college, but whenever my mother brings it up I get locked into a state of primal fear, insecurity and hopelessness because I crafted a reality where I have no skills, goals or ability to pursue a higher education or a life that suits me. Confronting that reality sends me spiraling down a very strong wave of depression that often debilitates me, though I've gotten better at climbing out of it so I can at least focus on my job. It still feels like I'm being compelled to enforce that reality, and that instinct overrides all better senses. It's an unchecked issue that controls my actions.

When I talk to my friends all I can see is that they have something they're skilled at or passionate about, and that they're doing what I told myself I can't. I never thought I was a jealous or envious person, but I think that's because I never resented anyone for what they had. However, I see so many instances and depictions of resentful and malicous envy/jealousy that I know they are typically linked. In a world that's more competitive than I ever was, these emotions drive people to harm each other all the time for any reason one could think of. The worst part is those people can also happen to be friends and family who love each other deep down. It's so damn common that it must be human.

I don't understand the need to force myself on anyone for pleasure or control, so I can't relate or speak on that. It's happened often enough that others can speak on it and that's terrifying, and what I see is so beyond my ability to comprehend as an actual thought process or mentality but it's still very real and human. Animals do it to and humans are animals, but we're not talking about that. I suppose the closest I can get is the callousness I can feel sometimes when I'm absolutely out of patience with someone.

All that to say is... I think I get Jimmy and his inability to accept responsibility and the cognitive dissonance of wanting to be seen as good and capable as he destroys everything and everyone he touches. I get his resentment and jealousy of Curly and that it's so tied deeply with his love for him that it twists into something noxious and all-consuming. I get how his warped perception of others didn't stop him from caring for others (mostly the guys), but it affected how and how much he cares for them. I get the casual cruelty he can dish out and I understand being locked in the worst mental autopilot to avoid the fallout of your reality that you made because couldn't accept yourself.

I hope that all made sense. Jimmy really got me thinking.

[misc-obeyme]

Re: the earlygame beef between Mammon and MC. I always find it so funny whenever I see the (abundantly common, entirely typical) "Mammon has been there for us since day one! Our first man! Mammon is the only brother who never threatened to kill us or try to hurt us!" posts. Because it's just...so incredibly obvious how wrong they are? I have to assume that the people making those posts either literally never played the actual game at all, or they played with their eyes closed. Or perhaps they don't know how to read.

Because the game was literally shoving the fact that Mammon hates your guts and wishes you were dead in your face for like 2 or 3 Lessons straight. On day one when he first meets you? He can't stand your ass. He wants you gone. All the way up until you make a pact with him, and even for a little while AFTER making a pact, Mammon actively despises you and tells you so himself. And then multiple other characters (including Diavolo, Barbatos, and Lucifer) ALSO come along and give you extremely obvious exposition like "wow, it's Mammon's job to watch over you and protect you in this hostile new environment? And he abandoned you the first chance he got, leaving you to the wolves? Haha, classic Mammon. Of course he abandoned you to get eaten by other demons, what a goofy guy"

And YOU LITERALLY ARE ALMOST EATEN BY DEMONS. BECAUSE MAMMON DIDN'T GAF ABOUT DOING HIS JOB AND DITCHED YOUR ASS. The manga goes into more detail about it too, showing that you literally came to harm because Mammon abandoned you when he was supposed to keep you safe. And later on when you call Mammon out, he threatens to kill you and eat you. To your face. He literally does that.

Idk, it's just crazy to me how badly people can mischaracterize these things. I know that Mammon is the fandom baby or w/e but Mammon fans in particular love to rewrite history and infantilize him as this sweet innocent woobie who never did anything wrong. "Mammon is the only brother who never wanted to kill us!" you're literally lying, lol. He threatens to kill you and eat you to your face. "Mammon loved us from the very beginning!" No he didn't, he repeatedly told you that he hated you lmao.

This happens with other characters too, yeah. People include Beel as part of the "never tried to hurt us" group even though he absolutely DID try to hurt us when Mammon physically force-fed us his custard (another thing Mammon did to deliberately harm us) Also Satan gets thrown in the "one of the bad ones who tried to hurt us" camp, despite never actually doing anything to us. He gets angry and goes on an edgy little rant, but if you actually know how to read you'll notice that he doesn't ever actually DO anything to harm us or try to kill us. He never makes any kind of move to actually harm us, but everyone assumes he does? Wild. But Mammon gets this the worst for some reason.

I could go into a whole entire separate spiel about how the Mammon infantilization also applies to the "everyone bullies him for no reason even though he's literally an innocent pure baby who never did anything wrong ever" but I'm just gonna double the length of this already long rant. What's crazy is I don't even dislike Mammon, he's cool. But oh my god some Mammon fans can be absolutely fucking insufferable 😭

Woobie 😭 I'm sorry, I know there's like paragraphs happening here but that word sent me lol.

I'm gonna level with you here, anon. This kinda thing just does not bother me in the slightest. I mean it doesn't matter to me if people mischaracterize or rewrite the story to fit their preferences. If it makes them happy, then they can go ahead and live their truth.

I think I probably land somewhere in between on the Mammon characterization scale, mostly because I like when he's a lil pathetic~

Anyway, if you want me to get into the nitty gritty of how I characterize Mammon, I can certainly do that. But I kinda get the vibe that you just needed to rant a bit. And that's okay, my ask box is always open for ranting or rambling or anything else!

[jedi-bird]

Partner just got annoyed with me when I told them to stop trying to show me a video about a ride I used to run. It's like, dude, there's nothing about that park that you can show me that I already don't know. I'm up to date on most new announcements whether I want to be or not because of friends who still work there. And they more than anyone should know just how much ptsd I got from that specific ride. Like, I love my partner but I will start screaming over this.

[alchemania]

Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.

Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!

It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.

[teiasviago]

it's day two and one of my classes is already giving me anxiety attacks BUT there's so many people in my class that are in the same major as me so hopefully it'll be fine??

[moonchild-in-blue]

Can someone please either validate me or send me to the Corner of Shame? This is very silly but I'm wondering.

So. I was talking to my sister the other day about movies and such, and she told me of one she recently watched with this one actor. And I casually mentioned how much I hated him. Not in a "he's a bad actor" or "he's a bad person" way. Nothing to do with whether I find him attractive or not. Just in a "he looks the most punchable guy on earth and I have this irrational rage against him" way, to the point that I just can't watch movies with him without being annoyed.

My sister looked at me like I was crazy because, "what do you mean you hate the guy". And I told her yeah? That's normal? Don't you have at least one person you can't stand for no reason?

Sister was like 😬😬😬 No??? Which is wild to me, because I could easily name 50 (which I did - not 50 but we were getting close to 20 before i got too annoyed lmao).

Now she thinks I'm slightly insane (/j) (I made myself angry and may have referred to a few individuals as "stupid" and "obnoxious"), and I kinda don't believe I am the only person alive who feels this way. But also she's an incredibly empathetic extrovert, while I'm a very low empath socially anxious creechur so. There's that?? I guess ?? Idk.

Can anyone relate to this? Or am I the weird one?

Also wait. Little disclaimer: I am not generally a violent person AT ALL. Do i get annoyed and angry easily? Yeah. Do I feel like bitch slapping someone right across their stupid face? Yeah, sometimes, sure. Do I do something about it? Not really.

I can be real bitchy and extra sarcastic and petty SURE, but that's the most I'll do if I am legitimately angry. Mostly I just go to my room and cry 🥺 (crying when angry yes it me). So yeah. Before yall think I have unsolved anger issues.

[brick-van-dyke]

My dad, jokingly: "I'm badman"

Me: "haha sure" (not thinking he's anything like batman)

My dad: *left/ separated from my mum when I was a teen, started a GTA gang that helps bullied kids, ended up emotionally adopting like 8 kids and helped them through bullying, suicide, abuse, etc.*

Me: *was hurt by an abuser and had to deal with said abuser being forgiven by family around me*

Me: *gets into Batman lore*

Me: ...

"Wait a second..."

[sparrownnax]

anyways sometimes i wonder if i'm meant to be connected with people. don't get me wrong i appreciate my friends, but like my quality of life wouldn't go down too much if i hadn't met them. i like digging information out of people. they lose a lot of appeal once i know too much about them. i don't really have any kind of interest in pursuing any kind of relationship with people, romantic or platonic. i could take people or leave them. dunno

[nobodybetterlookatme]

I've never heard of emts working only at events? What's that like for you if you don't mind my asking?

Yeah, there are ambulance companies that staff certain events, but there's some event specific companies out there lmao. For me specifically, it's almost entirely college events, whether it's happening on a campus or not. It's not great, usually pretty boring, but it's better than being on an ambulance or in a hospital. We do get actual emergencies sometimes, but usually it's just getting drunk people to the tent or giving out water and bandaids lmao. Again, boring as fuck, but I chose this over working on a 911 rig, so that's on me 😔 if I'm being so real tho, other than my coworkers, the best part of the job is the food lmaoooo it's so good and all the food trucks/food booths give discounts or free food to us depending on the location and event. And there's almost always a ton of downtime, so I basically just get paid to sit there and vibe for the most part

[typicallyexceptional]

Choosing to parent differently than you were parented really opens up a lot of emotions and thoughts. It's healing. But it's intense. (Particularly so when you jump straight into parenting a teenager with fairly similar trauma and diagnoses to yours instead of starting from scratch with your own baby.)

They really meant it when they said parenting your child can also be like reparenting yourself.

[deviousdiesel]

.

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 15

“Over Yet" by Hayley Williams