#and don't come at me with the 'soldiers can't have mental issues' thing
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im-no-jedi · 2 years ago
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TBB headcanons: Physical and Mental Traits
I was originally gonna break these posts up by character, but it’s more fun just categorizing everything (plus I get to make more posts this way hehe)
anyway! here are some traits I believe each of the boys have:
Hunter
Oldest of the og four (CT 9901) 
All of his senses are heightened, which makes him more sensitive to things (smells, sounds, touch, etc) but he’s REALLY good at hiding it
Occasionally experiences sensory overload, but has several techniques to keep himself calm (stimming with his knife, meditation, isolation, listening to music, conversing with one of his bros or Omega) 
Is autistic, but is good at masking it most of the time 
Very, very rarely experiences panic attacks from overstimulation (happened mostly as a child, has only happened once during the war) 
Has a high level of tolerance for pain, despite his heightened senses (mostly is just good at hiding it though)
Has a scar over his left eyebrow that he got due to accidentally cutting himself with a knife when he was younger (he has perfectionist issues because of this); has other various scars all over his body (main ones being on his left pectoral from getting shot by Cad Bane, and slight burn marks on the palm of his right hand from the Zygerrian whip)
Fairly introverted; he likes his solitude but gets lonely at times and can NOT be away from the squad for too long or he’ll go crazy
Tech
Second oldest of the og four (CT 9902) 
Retains information the first time it’s told/explained to him (the recording thing is literally just a hobby, he doesn’t need it LOL)
Obsessively researches things in his free time 
Basically blind without his goggles; he’s semi colorblind, which is why the lens are tinted
Is very autistic 
Stims with his tools 
Has an average level of tolerance for pain, doesn’t like to make a big deal out of it and straight up ignores it most of the time (“I pretend I do not see it”)
Has a few scars on his hands from tinkering, but are mostly healed (lotion works wonders my dudes)
Completely introverted, please leave him alone thanks
Wrecker
Second youngest of the og four (CT 9903) 
Is constantly hungry because of his size and high metabolism 
Gets muscle aches if he goes too long without being active 
Has ADHD and autism 
Stims via working out or playing with Lula (or any of Omega’s other toys when she’s not playing with them)
Has a low level of tolerance for pain, but tries to act otherwise (and does a terrible job at it LOL)
Got his face scar on their first mission ever, doesn’t regret it and thinks it makes him look cooler 
Has various scars all over his body, as well as stretch marks from growing so big so quickly
Very extroverted, gets lonely easily
Crosshair
Youngest of the og four (CT 9904) 
Gets frequent headaches because of his superior vision (which is why getting the Order 66 headaches didn’t seem out of the ordinary to him) 
Gets sore limbs sometimes, especially his legs, from how long they are 
Is autistic 
Stims by chewing on his toothpicks 
Has an average level of tolerance for pain but is really good at hiding it
Has a few minor scars on his body but mostly stretch marks from growing so tall so quickly
Very introverted, but gets lonely at times (and will NEVER admit it)
Echo
Oldest of the entire group overall
Suffers from “ghost limbs” with his scomp arm and legs sometimes 
Will get eye twitches sometimes from his brain “short-circuiting” 
Makes jokes about his disabilities to cope (“you wouldn’t hurt a disabled man, would you?”) 
Has PTSD, mostly from what happened after the Citadel explosion 
Distracts himself from the Horrors™ by running ship diagnostics and rereading manuals (which he already liked doing, of course)
Has an average level of tolerance for pain and likes to hide it behind his jokes (“tis but a flesh wound!”)
Has some scars all over his body from the Citadel explosion and his implants
Big extrovert, HATES being alone, please don’t leave him alone OMG
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uselesssomebody · 2 months ago
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𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕦𝕡 - post!d&w!logan howlett x reader
complete masterlist | logan howlett - coming soon!
words || 𝟚.𝟡𝕜
summary || in which the reader gets stood up, and logan consoles her - in more than one way
a/n || self indulgent :)) guess what happened to me guys !!
➵ i know i've been literally dead but i may be back! not sure fully yet lol but i've missed writing. shocker, college is in fact hard and i've spent a whileeee adjusting. that also means my writing is prob a bit shit here but i just wanted to get this out
➵ first time writing logan - i watched deadpool & wolverine and oh my godddd this man can fucking get it. haven't watched the x-men movies so i kinda had to guess his accent, sorry if it's inconsistent. this is set after the events of deadpool & wolverine
➵ shall i revamp the blog theme guys? i don't have any ideas but idk if you guys are bored by it haha
➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!
warnings || fluff/smut/a wee bit of angst
➵ fingering
➵ age gap (not a plot point)
(tell me if i miss anything)
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having 2 people in a one bedroom apartment was already cramped. 3 is insane. as much as wade tried, he felt bad for poor hugh's - *cough* logan's back for constantly swapping between the dingy couch and the mattress on the floor to sleep.
and the wolverine was never the type to ask for help, it pissed him off. they had been nearly atomized together for christ's sake!
another room on the floor had opened up, and as much as wade wanted to kick blind al off to that room instead, he knew the old lady wouldn't be able to pay the whole rent herself, and he had to make sure she didn't use too much fun-time sugar under fox's watchful eye. luckily, neither did logan have to live alone, as wade was quick to find a down-on-her-luck college girl who needed cheap rent.
so, now wade's stuck with an ornery old woman, and pretty-boy - well, man - logan got to have a cute girl as his roommate. just his luck. he checked in on his fellow invincible often, and as much as logan didn't talk, wade knew he didn't mind her one bit.
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she tried to be a good roommate - cook breakfast for the both of them, pick up a sweet treat for him too if she was getting one for herself, and trying to keep to herself with the studying. but she couldn't help the little crush that she had on her roommate. like, come on.
older, mature, mysterious, downright yummy? what's a girl to do? she kept it to herself, but seeing him smirk or chuckle when she realizes she's accidentally been staring at him in that leather jacket or shirtless going to bed. at least she doesn't make him uncomfortable, but it feels pretty dismissive - how he sees her as such a fucking kid that he can't even take her attraction seriously.
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logan took it very fucking seriously.
every day was a mental challenge - truly, god gives his worst temptations to his strongest soldiers. the liquor on his breath was still strong, not now because his life was ruined, but rather because his mind was.
this cute, young girl who looked at him like he was the solution to all her relationship issues, like his old-man body was good enough to fucking eat? it was a miracle that he hadn't taken her. and she just looked so beautiful as she got ready for bed, or as she bobbed her head to music while she studied, or as she buzzed around the small kitchen to cook her third cheap pasta for the week.
it didn't help how she'd always ask how he is, buy him little things to keep his mood up, and always offered to take the couch. he'd rather eat glass than let her sleep on the couch, but nonetheless, she offered every day.
fuck. it was impossible to sleep when she was just behind the wall, in her fucking shorts and tank. unbelievable. he needed a fucking drink.
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some nights, he'll come home in the evenings to an empty house. it's rare - she doesn't have too much money to go out, but when she does, she'll usually warn him she'll be home late. he always makes sure to stay awake until she gets home, and even had the privilege of going into downtown to pick her up after the friends she was with had managed to lose her. she had hiccuped, tearing up in embarrassment as she watched him approach her drunk form leaning on a tree outside. she had thought the stern arch of his brow was because of her calling him so late, when really, he was just angry that her friends had the audacity to put her in such a dangerous situation.
"it's windy." he grunts, and she looks down at her short, strappy dress, ashamed.
"s-sorry. we drove here." she tries to explain, and logan relents, brow going from angry to grumpy.
"yeah." he finally sighs, walking with her back to their place. seeing her hands go to cradle her elbows, he places his leather jacket over her shoulders, and she swallows thickly.
"you don't have to-" but he's lighting a cigar as she speaks, in just his wifebeater he'd been lounging in. she decides to shut up, silent until they reach the house.
he helps her in and then waits outside to finish the cigar, and after she gets in, she sighs softly, carefully placing the jacket down. she starts trying to make logan some dinner as a thank-you, but passes out at the dinner table half-way through. luckily, she hadn't had the stove on, and logan's heart melts as he sees her, halfway through mixing a few eggs, head lolling off the chair as she drools a little.
cutie, he thinks, separating her fingers from the fork and bowl, and carrying her into the bed. as he tries to set her down, her fingers clutch his arm, and a small, sleepy whine leaves her.
logan's not a man to blush, but hearing that little beg for him to stay makes him fucking burn. he looks down at her, a hand running through his hair, and he gently tries to let her down again. she just holds on tighter, groaning, "warm..." a little mumble escapes her, and logan huffs. of course it's not that she wants him, she's just cold. he sighs, sitting down and letting her cuddle into his arm.
he had planned to leave once she'd passed out, but it was late, and he was old, so he had ended up just sleeping next to her anyways. the sun's rays the next morning pierce his eyes, and he sighs softly, waking up next to her. he swallows thickly, watching the way the sun hits her form, bathing her exposed skin in orange and amber.
the moment is broken by her startling awake. for a moment, she sighs happily, thinking that this was just a continuation of her dream about logan, where she wakes up next to him after a night of great sex, and they both live happily ever after. then she blinks.
his bicep feels bigger than in the dream, his face looks a little more real, he's- real?!
she squeaks, immediately sitting up.
"logan?"
"don't go getting any ideas in your head." he immediately defends, sighing. "you called me last night."
she bites her lip.
"you took me home?"
"put you in bed too. then ya fucking kept me on ya like a boa." he's joking, but she still struggles to tell between his grumpy voice and his joking grumpy voice.
"fuck, i'm really sorry, must have ruined your night-" she starts, and he gets up, ruffling her hair.
"it's okay. better knowing you were safe." it leaves her a little star struck, especially when he then goes to continue making the omelette she had tried to make last night.
he's cooking for her for once and she gets such a nice view of his broad back in that wife-beater. maybe things aren't that bad.
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knowing how she always texts if she's out late, he's a bit confused to come home to an empty room. he huffs, trying not to panic, but he can't help how much he care for the girl. he leans back, lounging on the couch.
as an hour passes with no texts, he's about to get up and ... do something. look for her, call her - something.
just then, she walks through the door, purse dropping on the floor with a thud.
that's an attitude he hadn't seen before. she looks like a deer in headlights when she notices that he is in fact home.
"o-oh." she blinks, quickly picking up the purse, as if to console it. "wade said you weren't home." logan raises a brow, a little curious why the other man would say that.
"long day?" he finally comments, and she breathes out.
"shit day." she corrects. logan's brow furrows.
"hmm." he murmurs, stretching his arm out over the back of the couch. an open invitation. she hesitates but... he looks warm.
conservatively, she sits beside him, hands in her lap. she's not even paying attention to whatever channel logan has on as background noise.
theres maybe 5 solid minutes of silence.
finally, she sighs.
"i'm gonna go to bed." she murmurs softly, getting up. logan wraps his fingers around her palm.
"talk to me." he mumbles gruffly, and she knows that's a pretty big first step for him. she bites her lip, sitting back down, and takes a deep breath.
"got stood up." it's little more than a whisper, and she feels a pout forming on her lips, which she tries to reverse, to little avail. it's silent again, and she wonders if logan heard her.
of course, he did - spending a moment processing who the hell would stand her up.
"i'm sorry." his rough fingers press over hers, comforting, and she can't help but sink more into him than the couch cushions.
it feels nice, more right than the kisses she'd shared with the guy she'd been seeing.
"whatever." she tries to mumble, trying not to show her hurt.
"he's an idiot." his hand slips around her shoulders, and he can feel her pulse quicken.
"i'm an idiot."
"he's an idiot." he repeats sternly. "who was he?" she bites her lip.
"some... guy." logan suppresses a scoffing bark.
"not if he's got you like this." he looks down at her. she's ashamed to look up at him.
"i don't know... i just really liked him. i thought he liked me too." she feels a tear slip out, and logan's fist squeezes in anger as he sees her quickly wipe it away.
"he should be singin' his prayers that he even got your attention." that makes her giggle - strained, but there. he prefers the sound to her defeated mumbles. "look at me." he murmurs, taking her chin and angling it to face him. his eyes travel down to the cute dress she'd put on for her date - low cut, perfectly form fitting, "he's a fucking idiot." he whispers, hand slipping down to her waist.
"yeah?" she whispers, significantly less focused on aforementioned 'fucking idiot' now.
"yeah, princess." he murmurs, hand gently running up and down her side. he knows he shouldn't, but he can practically feel the jump of her heart at the endearment. "you like that? princess?" his voice almost has a teasing lilt, and her lids flutter at the difference in tension from 2 minutes ago.
"a little." her face looks so bashful, so unsure. after that depressing feeling of not being wanted - god, he wants to pull her out of that so bad.
"should be treated like a princess." she shifts imperceptibly closer.
"got a guy who'll do that for me?" she teases, and logan scoffs softly.
"you know i do." his voice carries that gruffness even with how quiet he is, speaking into the small space between their lips. "you know, princess."
she breathes out shakily, leaning forward, when logan pulls her chin, pressing his lips to hers. she whimpers softly, finding her hands and placing them at his nape, not wanting to let go. it's not rough, but needy, his other hand slipping to the hem of her dress on her thigh. she hums into his lips, as he pulls away, a little breathless.
"don't - we shouldn't." he whispers, and a pout graces her lips - a proper one.
"why?"
"yer upset." he sighs, but doesn't move away.
"about?" she says playfully, having fully forgotten about her evening; she'd been waiting for this for so long. he lets out a gruff bark of a laugh, pulling her closer, and she adjusts, getting on his lap.
"come on, bub." he scolds again, and she hums, leaning down to kiss him.
"please?" she whispers, against his lips. he groans.
"jesus, what're y'doin' to me?" his head tilts back, and she giggles, exhilarated that she's got him like this. her hands trail down his arms - god, his arms - tracing the veins, somehow always bulging, as she gently leans forward again, kissing him. this time, theres a bit more tongue, and he pulls her closer roughly, gnashing their teeth together. she moans softly into his mouth, fingers finding his rough palm. he grips them tight - not enough to hurt, but just enough to show that he's holding back.
"i'm not made of glass." she teases, and he scoffs softly.
"i could snap ya'n half." his mumble finds his way back into her lips, and she has to control herself to not showhow much the little quip affected her.
"maybe i want you to."
"jesus." he flips her over, onto her back, "got this pretty little dress on, fuck, that guy's an idiot." his hands travel down her thighs, and she bites her lip, a massive grin on her face.
"you like it?" she murmurs softly, playing with the strap of her dress.
"whadya think?" he huffs, and she giggles.
"and if i told you i got it for you?" logan presses a hot kiss to the side of her thigh.
"i'd tell ya to get a dozen more." his lips move up her thigh slowly, and she lets out a shaky breath.
"god, logan." her whispers of his name are like music to his ear, and he leaves a small bite by the hem of her dress.
"gotta tell me if i hurt you." he mutters, more seriously, and she smiles.
"only fun if it hurts."
"i'm serious, princess." she relents.
"i'll tell you." he sighs in content, gently riding her dress off.
"this okay?"
"more than okay." she helps him, pulling the dress over her hips, her lacy panties peeking under the fabric. when he spends just a bit too long staring, she giggles, "you can touch." she affirms, and he barks out a gruff lap.
"could'a guessed that much." his fingers trace the hem of them, travelling down her inner thighs. her breath hitches, and she gently rolls her hips, desperate for more.
"please, logan." she whispers, breathing a bit labored. though he'd love to tease, he's getting desperate too.
"gotta tell me what ya want, princess." he murmurs, and she bites her lip, almost shy again. it's cute.
"touch me?" she murmurs, almost like it's a favor she's asking. he kisses her thigh again, before gently peeling the panties off. he lets out a soft groan at how slick she is, fingers catching her arousal as they travel down her slit. she lets out a shocked gasp - practically a moan - and he fucking loves it.
`'need them, princess?" he smirks at her, and she nods, almost pathetically.
"god, i do." he obliges, gently prodding her entrance with his middle finger. he slips in with little resistance, but jesus, he can feel how tight she is.
"fuck, yer gonna be the death of me, princess." he groans softly, and she lets out a breathy giggle.
"thought that doesn't happen to you?"
"well, never had a girl as pretty as you." he murmurs, slipping another finger in. she flushes, back arching as his fingers do, body warm as she rocks her hips in time with his ministrations.
"faster?" she begs softly, and he could never say no to those big doe eyes. he starts moving faster, her slick absolutely coating his fingers, and she moans louder, hips moving in a more stuttered rhythm.
"like that?" that teasing lilt is in his voice, and she nods furiously.
"j-just like that-" she stammers, mind already foggy, "god, i'm close, please don't stop."
"not in a million years, princess." she lets out a loud moan as she can feel herself unraveling, the orgasm so powerful that her thighs shake around him as she cums. she pants as he helps her ride through it.
"good girl, just like that, princess," he consoles, "so fuckin' pretty for me, ain't cha?" he grins, as she starts to come down. as her breathing slows, so too do his fingers, before slowly sliding them out of her. he gently rubs her clit, just to see her jolt at the stimulation, before chuckling, and placing his soaked fingers onto his tongue.
she lets out another moan as she watches him, with lidded eyes.
"i'll cum again." she warns, playfully, and he's gleeful. she tastes like fruit.
"i plan on it, princess." she feels her cheeks warm.
"that's the hardest i've cum in a while." she admits shyly.
"sounded like it." he teases, but before they can get anything else out, there's banging on the wall that connected them to wade and blind al.
"these walls are paper thin!" al's screech sounds a little traumatized, and her scolding make both her and logan whip around, embarrassed.
"for once in my life, i agree with her! shut up, lovebirds, i wanna fucking sleep!" wade's voice is equally exasperated.
there's silence, until she calls back a bashful, "sorry!" she turns to logan, almost laughing, but still flushed with shame. "maybe we should stop. he scoffs.
"nah, just means i gotta teach ya to be quiet."
safe to say, she's not thinking at all about her date tonight.
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loveisanimaginarydagger3000 · 4 months ago
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The Soldier Of Death (4)- Fighting The Enemy
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Natasha Romanoff X Super Soldier Reader 18+
Summary: Soldat Smerti. The Soldier of Death. You were the perfect weapon: loyal, obedient, and merciless, or so Hydra thought. What happens when these traits are put to the test? Your captivity in the Avenger's tower and the presence of a redhead makes you realise you didn't have to be a monster. The question was though; Did Hydra make you the monster or were you always one?
This fic will contains dark themes. Please read these warnings before starting any of these chapters: graphic descriptions of murder, violence, gore and torture, heavy angst, mental issues.
Please consider these warnings before reading
Word Count: 2.3k
General Masterlist | The Soldier Of Death Masterlist
Chapter Warning: Graphic Depiction of Violence and murder, dark thoughts
Crimson stained your hands, the warm liquid slowly dripping down your forearms as you leaned over the body, fragments of skull blending with flesh and brain being held in your trembling hands.
Eyes pleaded you for their life as you stood over their body, words spilling desperately out of their lips as they stared up at you, begging for you to take mercy. Their pleas were cut short, blood splattering on the floor behind them, the life gradually draining out of their eyes.
A gut wrenching cry was torn out of their throat when your hand forced its way past skin and bones, fingers roughly gripping onto their intestines, squeezing with vigour for another primal sound to be ripped out of them before pulling hard, their body falling limp to the ground. A small squelch follows when you drop the organ next to their corpse, not even giving the scene a second glance.
Your hand hits the side of your head as you twitch it to the side, shaking the thoughts out of your mind, trying to focus on your mission.
Your mind was slowly fracturing into pieces, various memories flooding your thoughts as you walked through the eerie hallway, boots echoing in the abandoned space. You weren't sure what had happened, the only thing that you knew for certain was that you were to obey. You didn't have a choice. It was engraved in you. Listen to them. Kill for them. That was all you had to do.
No we don't.
We are better than them.
We aren't a toy for them to play with.
Your jaw clenched at the irritating voice sounding around in your head again, merging with the violent flashbacks, further adding to your unpleasant mood. You were a weapon. Weapons didn't need to think. They just kill. Yet, the incessant part of you was adamant we were stronger, more powerful than them, we could do anything if you just gave over control.
Yes, see, you're getting it now. Give me control.
"So what? You can murder everyone," you mutter out loud, the mask muffling your words as you argue with your alter ego, knowing that, despite the things you have done based on the flashbacks, the things they have done... They were darker, more sinister, they enjoyed it. You didn't. You never would. You did what you had to do to survive.
It's what they deserve.
You want to scream at the voice, begging it to shut up. Yes they deserve to die for what they had done to you but you weren't going to be the ones to kill them.
Every time you come back, you somehow try to be more virtuous.
It groans, a scoff leaving you. You were trying to make up for the things you had done, be a little more merciful, there was nothing wrong with that.
You can't. We can't be good anymore. There's no point in trying to redeem us. We're already a monster, there's no changing that.
At its words, you remain silent, doing your best to ignore them as you wander through the hallways, your eyes focussing on small indents on the wall.
A violent scream was torn out of you, your hands doing everything in their power to stop the guards dragging you back to your cell, your veins burning with agony as the serum entered your bloodstream. Your fingers dug into the concrete, leaving indents as you pried away at the stone, desperately trying to stop them from taking you back.
You shook your head once more, the painful memory soon fading away, leaving you confused. You suddenly seemed to recognise the building you were in, your fingers slotting against the marks, the handprints slightly smaller, your mind too broken to place the significance of the memory.
Pushing down the screams echoing in your mind and shaking off the further memories that invaded your thoughts, you worked your way around the building, searching for the room you were instructed to find. All you knew was that there was a flash drive in there that Hydra needed to keep out of the Avengers' hands, the team apparently gaining intel on this base.
You weren't expecting them to locate it yet nor for them to be in the base, but your general warned you to stay on guard, the order more difficult than expected due to the instability of your mind.
You were nearly at the room but a gnawing feeling made you pause in your tracks, head tilting curiously at the room you were stopped outside of, your hand moving without thought to open the door, revealing the dark and empty concrete cell. You swallowed nervously at the sight of dry blood staining the walls, the floor and even parts of the ceiling, another flashback painfully invading your minds, causing you to lose focus.
***
"I don't have a good feeling about this Steve," Natasha mutters while the two of them enter the base, Wanda entering through a different exit, the team confident in her magic ability and training to handle herself.
"Neither," he sighs out in agreement, their bodies almost silently walking through the abandoned building, Natasha taking the corridors to the left while Steve went right, splitting off to cover more ground.
Nerves etched away at Natasha, the spy confused at the sudden emotion she was feeling. She never got nervous, so why was she on edge? Her gun was firmly gripped in her hand, creeping through the hallways with it raised, ready to fire if needed.
Emerald green searched through various corridors, her eyes glossing over with crestfallen look at the marks all over the wall, indicating a clear struggle all the way down the hall until it reached the isolated steel door at the end. Natasha was already walking towards the room when a quiet, pained noise caught her attention, her finger ready on the trigger as she rounded the corner, pausing at the sight before her.
Your ominous figure stood facing an empty room, hands twitching by your side, unaware of the spy near you, or the Captain who rounded the corner on the other side of the hallway, pausing when Natasha signalled for him to do so.
"Don't make me kill them," you almost whimper out, lost in a spiral of memories, your mind replaying the broken memory. "They're just children."
"I won't repeat it again Soldat," his voice low and commanding at your ear, malice lacing his next words, "Don't leave the room until every single one of them is dead."
Steve raises his shield ready to throw at your words, confusion written across his and the redhead's face.
I told you. We're a monster.
Snapping at the voice inside your head, your fist collides with the wall, trying to express your anger, confusion and hurt, when the sound of metal gliding through the air reaches your ear, body turning to the side, hand catching the vibranium disk.
Steve's face pales a little at how unaffected you were by his throw, most people being knocked back a little, his expression swiftly switching to shock when it's thrown back forcefully at him. He has to take a couple steps back when he catches it to stay balanced, your body making it's way over to him, eyes slowly becoming lifeless as you flicker between having and losing control.
He uses his shield to protect him when your fist collides with the metal, a loud noise reverberating around the room, a gunshot being added to the mix when a bullet slices through your leg, jaw clenching at the pain. You grit your teeth, swinging your other arm to hit the side of the blonde man, a groan escaping him at your strength while he goes to parry your other punch, you injured leg swiping at his knee, knocking him back to the ground.
While the man climbs to his feet, a pair of thighs wrap around your head, trying to force your body to the ground, unable to beat your strength. Wrapping your arms around the back of her body, her elbow being brought down on whatever part of you she could reach, you push her body into the nearest wall, her back painfully banging against it.
The sound of boots approaching quickly causes you to pull away from the wall, slamming the body down against the floor, a small cry escaping her before you lower your body, merely evading the punch from the man and tackling his body to the ground, shield clattering next to him.
Your legs straddle his stomach, grip tight to prevent his movements while your hands goes to his throat, merciless with your grip as his face starts to turn red. Your thumbs dig in harshly against his airways, his hands prying at your own, fingers digging in painfully with the amount of strength he was using making your grip falter, hands reaching to the red and blue metal disk.
Fear glosses over in his eyes as you raise the shield into the air, attempting to bring it down on his throat when his hands clutch at the bottom of it, desperately trying to stop you. Your eyes are dark, no ounce of humanity left in them as you press down harder, the edge of the shield pressing lightly against his throat as he fights for his life,
To catch him off guard, you lift the shield, his fingers slipping off it and enabling you to abruptly bring it back down.
His hands only just block his neck in time, a muffle groan leaving you at the pain radiating throughout your body, electricity coursing through your body from the small device attached onto your neck. The device causes a sense of Deja vu to flicker across your mind, ignoring it as you stagger to your feet, turning to the redhead who raises her gun at you.
Blood oozes out of your leg from where she last shot you, Steve regaining his breath as he slowly pushes his body off the ground, your gaze locked on the woman in front of you, familiarity causing your head to tilt while you stare at her, waiting for her next move.
You can see her hesitation, her finger hovering over the trigger as the barrel is aimed at your face. You take a step forward, daring her to take the shot when she swiftly lowers it, another bullet lodging itself into your body, pain radiating from your side.
You fall to your knees at the pain, her gaze flickering to the man behind you, his hands grabbing the shield once again. You close your eyes, focusing on the sound of his movements to imagine his stance, visualising his body behind you and waiting for the gap to present itself. When he goes to swing the metal at you, you press your hand down into the ground, using it to spring your body off the concrete as you spin around, kicking your leg out to strike into his side.
A loud snap can be heard as the force of your kick splinters his ribs, his body falling to the concrete while he takes in sharp breaths, anguish evident on his face as he holds his side.
You're certain that if he was human the impact would have killed him, instead it merely immobilises him, your attention returning the woman you think you know.
When she keeps her gaze on you, the firearm still aimed at you, you can feel annoyance and anger enter your mind as she hovers her finger over the trigger, not wanting any more bullets to be lodged inside you. Your fingers deftly wrap around the handle of the blade in your pocket, swiftly pulling it and spinning it between your fingers as you wait for her to make the first move.
Confusion sneaks onto your face when she merely smirks at you, her gaze flickering behind you for a brief second. Without even thinking, you turn and launch the knife at the other figure, the metal blade being encased in red tendrils of magic before it clatters to the ground, the brunette's eyes glowing red.
There's a glint of recognition in her eyes when she sees you, her magic abruptly travelling towards you and wrapping around you, the tendrils seeping into the side of your head and into your mind.
You're powerless against her magic, an animalistic noise being torn out of you as more gruesome flashbacks swarm your mind, hands desperately clutching at your head to make it stop.
Natasha watches with a pained look, your cries of anguish stirring something inside her while Wanda lets out a small cry at the things she was seeing in your mind.
You fall to your knees roughly, fingers digging into the side of your head as you try to make it stop, you need to make it stop.
Ending the pain for the both of you, Wanda navigates her way through your fractured mind and eventually manages to get your body to fall unconscious, your body limp of the ground as the witch wipes the tears off of her cheeks, staring at the redhead opposite her who has curiosity written across her face.
"I don't know how long I can hold her," she says to the assassin, her magic still flowing around your head as she tries to keep you still.
"Can you hold her until we get back to the tower?" Natasha asks, making her way over to Steve who is still in agony on the ground. She slowly helps him to his feet, careful not to hurt him anymore while turning her gaze back to the witch.
"I think so," she says a little nervously, focusing on her magic.
"Good, let's get her on the jet, Fury's going to want to know what's happened." Everyone agrees with Natasha's plan, the magic encasing your entire body as you're lifted into the air, the redhead aiding the injured super soldier towards the jet.
What could possibly go wrong?
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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 4 months ago
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(i kept forgetting to make this post for a while and only remembered when i was reading @antispopausandstuff 's recent post; sorry for the tag!)
i have to say this: catra having a mental breakdown basically every single season was pathetic.
usually villains have a third-act breakdown where they realize that they're losing to the heroes or they're losing control over their own allies, and they spiral into anger and desperation.
azula's spiralling in s3 of atla is a clear example of this, as she goes from the level-headed, cunning prodigy to a child who has lost everyone in her life and is desperately trying to use fear to keep people around. it's tragic because yes, she's a horrible person who enjoys torturing people and seeing them in pain, but she's also a 13 year old who was groomed into the perfect soldier by her father.
not all third-act breakdowns are like this though. sometimes instead of feeling bad for the villain, we feel satisfied seeing their downfall, because they weren't a sympathetic character in the slightest and they deserved to have that realization right before getting their ass whooped.
with catra, i get neither of these. i guess i felt a little bad for her the first time and i felt satisfied the second time, but then it just got boring.
there was no need for her to have a meltdown in every single season, only for the writers to use it as an excuse to make catra do even worse shit and hurt more people.
not to mention, her mental state wasn't consistent enough during these breakdowns. let me explain. let's take the s3 one, for instance.
catra is clearly rattled by the knowledge that shadow weaver picked adora over her (which.. wow who would have thought. but whatever). she is dissociating as she walks back to scorpia, there are tears in her eyes, she's devastated.
but then, as soon as catra reaches the horde with adora as her prisoner, she seems perfectly fine. she's calm and smirking proudly as she throws a bound adora to the floor.
and then when entrapta tries to oppose catra's attempts at opening the portal, oh no! catra is not mentally well again and she electrocutes entrapta. and she threatens to do the same to scorpia.
and then she goes right back to being calm and tells hordak that entrapta betrayed him (i'm sorry i don't care how good at lying someone is, i doubt they can deliver such a convincing lie when they are in a poor mental state) and mocks him for trusting entrapta.
and then throughout the portal sequence, catra is oddly calm. not just during the false reality, when she was pretending that everything was normal, but even after that when she starts sadistically torturing adora.
this doesn't seem like a character who finally snapped and is doing horrible things in a desperate attempt to regain control. it reads as a character who always wanted to do horrible things and finally got the chance to do it.
i can't view catra's breakdown in s3 as sympathetic because her actions seemed so intentional. the writers didn't even try to make it look like catra was going through some serious mental health issues and was only making such a dangerous choice because of that.
coming back to my original point, repeating a trope (especially a one-time trope like this) quickly gets stale. and it's even funnier when you think about the fact that catra basically had a dedicated mental breakdown every season and still didn't learn her lesson.
you stop feeling sorry for her and start rolling your eyes, wondering what atrocities she's going to commit this time. it's just the same thing over and over again, and it's funny that the writers used this as a way to keep reminding viewers that catra is a poor traumatized baby who definitely didn't make the choices that led to all this.
it's just bad writing. sure, in real life, people may have multiple breakdowns if they going through some shit. i can certainly attest. but it just doesn't work from a story point of view, especially when the writers refuse to hold catra accountable for your actions. mental health issues or not, you are responsible for your actions and you should work on changing your unhealthy coping mechanisms.
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la-petite-lapin · 1 year ago
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Double the Love | Part Two
Double the Love masterlist
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x female civilian!OC Word Count: 2.9k Series warnings (may change between chapters): 18+, Minors DNI, angst, mentions of death, mentions of violence, mentions of poor mental health, injury description, eventual explicit sexual content, polyamory, M/M/F, FMC is bad at feelings
They finally meet
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One year later...
The message comes out of the blue. The first time I've heard from John Price in a whole month, and it's a fucking text message.
I'm watching TV, curled up in a ball on the sofa next to my best friend and flatmate Winslow "Winnie" Sloane, when my phone pings. I think about ignoring it until I catch a glimpse of his name. It's an unspoken rule between the two of us - we never knowingly ignore one another. Obviously, he can't reply to my messages when he's on ops, but that's different - that's not wilful.
I pick it up without hesitation and take a look.
JOHN PRICE: Tali, I need a favour. It's urgent.
My heart drops.
TALIA KELLER: What's happened? JOHN PRICE: Call me. I'll explain.
So, I do. I tap Winnie on the shoulder and rise up to my feet, shuffling off to my bedroom so I don't disturb her episode of Slow Horses. When I'm safely shut behind my bedroom door, I tap on the call button, dreading what's awaiting me on the other end of the line.
"John?" my voice is full of nerves as the call connects, echoing slightly around the room.
"God am I glad to hear your voice, Tali." He sounds haggard, his own voice tired and hollow. It's not hard to tell that he's fresh off an op. I can already imagine how drained he looks; can picture the dark circles shading his eyes and his scruffy too-long beard.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly brave, I try to talk him into leaving the service. I think about Alex and his death, and I hate that John still knowingly puts himself in harm's way day and night. He's the only serving soldier I know now - I never met any of the other members of their unit - and I desperately wish that he'll retire soon.
"How are you?" he follows up, voice puncturing through my thoughts.
"I'm okay. At home with Winnie. How's Marcella?"
A soft sigh leaves him at the mention of his long-suffering wife. I wonder if he's even had a chance to see her yet. "Last we spoke, she was perfectly fine. Misses you though. You need to come over for dinner soon."
An easy laugh leaves me. Winnie and John aren't the only ones who've been supporting me since Alex died. John's wife Marcie has been there every step of the way too, helping me through rough patches whenever John is away on deployments. And Winnie's never been anything but kind and understanding - it's not in her nature to be anything but.
"Soon," I mumble in agreement. There's a sound on the other end of the line in the background, a murmured snippet of conversation and a drawn-out groan followed by a soft shut up. "Not alone?"
"Got some company," John admits. "Speaking of... does Winslow still have that big trip coming up?"
My palms slick with sweat. Yes. Yes, she does.
Ever since her big promotion six months ago, Winnie's job now involves a lot more travelling than it used to. And - because of that - in three days' time, she'll be in France, starting a month-long assignment helping a struggling marketing firm in Paris.
And I'll be alone.
It doesn't bother me as much as it used to, but I've always had this thing about being alone. It's part of the reason why I live with Winnie; why I've been seeing a therapist since I was sixteen; why I struggle to have normalcy. My current therapist thinks that it's a form of abandonment issues from being orphaned at a young age, which has led to my inability to maintain stable relationships. The therapist before that thought it was something completely different; that I seek to form attachments but wilfully don't, self-sabotaging and creating my own permanent sense of loneliness. But, my point is, I don't react anywhere near as badly to it as I did when I was a kid.
I still remember when I was fifteen and Alex left for his first deployment. I was still living with our maternal grandmother at the time, and I completely shut down. I holed up in my room for almost a whole month, refusing to speak and barely eating or sleeping. I could hardly function for worrying about him...
"Tali?"
I snap out of it. "Sorry. Yes."
"Could you... could I possibly bring some of my guys to your apartment? Just while Winslow is away. Our safehouse in the area has been taken out of action and we need somewhere to lay low for a little while."
My guys. The unit.
"What about your place?" My brow furrows. Surely Marcella wouldn't mind a few guests. She's calm and motherly and takes great pride in hosting. I'm sure she'd be in the element with them.
John clears his throat awkwardly. "Not an option. They don't know."
Ah. The brave, almighty Captain John Price still hasn't told his team that he's married. Typical.
I roll my eyes. "Okay. I hope you know that we're coming back to that later." A beat of silence passes. "How many people are we talking, John? Because it's a two-bedroom flat in London. It's spacious but it's hardly the Tardis."
He snorts out a dry laugh. "Only two. One of the lads is local so he's got family around here he can stay with. And there's some stuff I've got to get done, so I'll be hopping from base to base."
"Where are they going to sleep? Are they going to mind sharing a bed? Because the sofa is comfortable, but I know how you army guys are built..."
There's an awkward silence on Price's end as I hear him shifting around. It takes me a second to realise that he's covering his mouth against his phone's microphone. "Yeah... that's, um- that won't be an issue for them."
Oh.
Oh.
"Okay. Cool. I'll take them."
I wince. Why the fuck did I say cool? Of all the ways that I could respond and I choose that. Way to go, Tali.
"Are you sure that you're okay with this, Tali?" Price asks, his voice soft and encouraging. "If you aren’t, we can find something else-"
"Price, I'll take them in. Winnie leaves on Tuesday morning, so just have them swing by around then, okay?"
Favour asked and questions answered, we say our goodbyes and hang up. It takes me a second to gather my thoughts before padding back into the living room. The moment I step through the hallway, Winslow pauses the TV, angling her head up to look at me. A cloud of black curly hair frames her beautiful face, dark eyes wide and expectant. "Is John back home?"
I wince, getting ready to launch into an explanation. "Not quite."
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Tuesday morning rolls around all too soon. By 9 a.m. I'm sitting cross-legged on the foot of Winnie's bed as she packs up her stuff. I can't help but feel a pang of anxiety strike deep in my chest.
"Are you sure that you're gonna be okay?" Winnie asks, almost like she can read my mind.
I meet her dark, knowing gaze and offer her a smile. "Winnie, I'll be fine. You don't need to worry about me. If I need anything, I can call Marcella."
She smiles, running a hand through her freshly braided hair. The pearls attached to some strands clink together softly. "Okay. Good. But you've got to call me once a week at least, okay?" Before I can reassure her that I will, she adds, "And you've got to text me every day."
"Winslow, I will. Stop stressing, please."
A moment of easy silence passes before the laughter starts. Both of us crack up, her eyes finding mine and holding my gaze.
Once we've both calmed down, I take a closer look at her cases. She's packing almost everything she owns. It's a sight that worries me, so I look away, deciding to look out of the window instead.
A loud, firm knock on the front door saves me just as Winnie is packing up her last suitcase. We exchange a look before I'm up on my feet, scrambling to answer it. I can't lie, I'm curious to meet John's friends. But I'm also sad. Because there's a strong possibility that they knew Alex too. That they were with him when he died.
When I open the door, there's two men standing in the hallway, just like John said there would be. The first has short brown hair styled into a mohawk, the sides cropped close to his scalp but the top and back left longer. He's broad-chested, muscular too; built like a grizzly bear. And, even though his complexion has a slightly pallid hue under the overhead lights, it's not hard to imagine that he's usually quite tan.
And then there's his friend. Standing next to the grizzly bear and at least half-a-foot taller than him, he has the expression of a man who wants to break me apart with his bare hands just to see what's inside. I fight to meet his intense gaze, taking catalogue of the features visible under the dark hood of his black sweatshirt. His eyes are hazel - I think - skin tanned from what I'd assume are long hours spent out in the sun, and I can't quite make out his hair colour. He's equally if not more muscular than his friendlier-looking counterpart. My eyes trail down to his mouth, drawn to the scar bisecting his bottom lip. It doesn't draw away from his attractiveness though; just adds to the sense of rugged charm that I'm getting from him.
Not that it should matter. It doesn't. They're here because they need help; not because they want to be ogled by a complete stranger.
"Are you John's friends?" I ask stupidly, as if they could be anyone else.
The grizzly bear nods. "Aye. And you are?"
Scottish. Nice. I've always loved the accent, but his is even better. There's a humour there; something uniquely his. It makes me want to keep him talking just so I can hear it more.
"Tali." I step back so that they can come inside. They hesitate for a second before following me into the living room, the tall, silent one closing the door behind him with a soft click. "Also John's friend."
The grizzly bear plops straight down onto the couch, stretching out with no hesitation and making himself at home. His arms drape over the backrest, a lazy grin forming on his lips as he watches me take a seat on my armchair. The tall one gives him a reprimanding look, hovering beside the window behind him. His light eyes are always alert; darting around the room like something's going to jump out at any second.
"You army?" he asks, expression wary. His voice is all gravel with a Manchester accent.
I offer him a small smile. "Nope." I don't think anyone could mistake me for a soldier. I'm small - short and slender - and skittish at the best of times. "So... what should I call you?"
Hazel eyes narrow at me. "Ghost."
The grizzly bear rolls his eyes dramatically, offering me a wide, disarming grin. It's blatantly obvious that he's overcompensating for him. "Callsign is Soap, but a pretty lass like you can call me Johnny."
My heart flutters.
It takes a second to remember what John had said on the phone. Sharing a bed won't be an issue for them. The awkward, implying tone he'd said it in. In other words, neither of them are meant for me.
Ghost eases away from the window to stand just behind the sofa, drawing closer to Johnny. Johnny, on the other hand, moves so that he's leaning forward, elbows braced on his knees as he cocks his head at me. "A friend of Captain Price, are ye?"
I nod softly. "Yes."
"Funny that," Ghost barks, tilting his head to one side. "He's never mentioned you." Thinly veiled suspicion drifts off of him in waves, and it makes me feel endlessly uncomfortable. His harsh gaze melts through my skin and bones, boring deep into my soul.
I shift in my seat. "He never mentioned either of you to me, so I don't think that counts for much."
Johnny lets out a loud laugh. "I think I'm gonna like ye, Tali. Not many people talk back to 'im."
It's in that moment - as I'm silently praying for the floor to open up and swallow me whole - that Winnie steps out of her room, suitcases in tow. She walks into the living room, depositing them by the front door before coming over to introduce herself, a sceptical look on her face.
She levels Ghost with an icy glare, not looking away from him as she asks me, "Everything all okay here, Tali?"
"Yeah, it's alright Winnie." I gesture to each of John's friends in turn. "Winnie, this is Johnny." He raises his hand and waves, still grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "And that is Ghost." I point to looming, ominous figure behind him.
"Ghost?" she repeats slowly. I nod. "Okay, well I'm leaving now. Tali, I love you and I'll miss you. Remember to call me." She bends at the waist to hug me, wrapping me up in her warm, vanilla-scented embrace. As she straightens, she glares at each of the men in turn. "And you two - don't give her any shit. If I find out you've made her feel uncomfortable even once, not even John will be able to save you. Got it?"
Johnny stares up at my friend, mystified. His blue eyes are bright as he nods. "Don't worry. We won't be any trouble."
Winnie turns back to face me. "Right, I've got to go or I'll miss my ride to the airport. I'll be back before you even know I'm gone, okay?"
"I know," I say, my voice soft. "I love you. Be safe and text me when you land."
With a nod, Winnie presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head then gets her last few bits together. And then she leaves. Leaving me alone with two complete strangers. Yay.
"So," I grumble, struggling against the urge to shy away from their intense gazes in the safety of my room, "do you want to see where you'll be staying?"
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Later that night, the three of us gather in the living room to watch TV.
The guys didn't have much to unpack. They travelled light so I'm going to have to go shopping sometime soon to buy them some essentials; more clothes and toiletries. Definitely food too. If dinner tonight was any indication, they eat a lot.
I'm curled up in my armchair again, watching something that Johnny chose on Netflix. Every once and a while, I glance across at them. Ghost is sitting upright, legs stretched out in front of him. His legs are so long that his feet are tucked under the coffee table. And then there's Johnny. He's laying on his side on the sofa, his head resting on Ghost's muscular thighs. Every now and then, Ghost's hand runs down the length of Johnny's side, stroking him in soothing, rhythmic motions.
Looking at them, I can't help but feel a sense of longing. Jealousy that they're together and obviously quite happy. That they're comfortable enough around one another for these subconscious displays of affection.
I'll never have that. It's something that I've come to accept. I'm twenty-five now and I've never had a serious relationship. I don't even think I want one. For a period of time in my late teens, I thought that I might be aro-ace, but over time I've gathered that I do feel romantic and sexual attraction. It's just different.
The sad truth is that I don't trust anyone enough to believe that they'd stay with me. Love me. Make me feel safe enough for displays of casual affection. There would always be that looming sense of dread that they'd leave me sooner or later.
In my head, I've justified it. If I don't get into relationships, no one can leave me. Alex's death all but solidified that for me.
The rom-com Johnny picked out gets to a comedic scene - a naked beach fight - and he starts to chuckle. I join him and I swear even Ghost lets out a little snort. We're all laughing until...
"Fuck. Johnny, you're bleeding."
My heart crawls up into my throat. My eyes snap across to them, blatantly looking now. The white t-shirt Johnny is wearing is plastered to his side, a red patch seeping through the fabric, spreading across his ribs.
He sits upright, holding it with one large hand. "Ah fuck. Didn't get any on the sofa, did ah'?"
"Fuck the sofa," I splutter out in a panic. "Are you okay? Why are you bleeding? Should I call an ambulance?"
Johnny looks back at me with a quizzical expression while Ghost just sighs, standing up. He walks towards the bedrooms at an unhurried pace, stopping along the way to press a chaste kiss to Johnny's forehead, placing a loving hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, darling, I'll get the bag." Hazel eyes swing towards me, where I'm still panicking in my armchair. "His dressing just needs changing, and I'll check his stitches. He's fine, love."
I ease back into my seat, heat rushing to my cheeks. "Oh."
Ghost leaves the room, heading into my bedroom to get the aforementioned bag. I've decided to give them my room for the duration of their stay because it has an en-suite. It eliminates the risk of me accidentally stumbling in on them in the shared bathroom that doesn't have a working lock. Overall, it's safer for everyone that I'm staying in Winnie's room.
Feeling more than a little foolish for my outburst, I offer Johnny a weak smile. "I'm going to go to bed now. Goodnight, Johnny."
"Ye sure?" he asks, blue eyes tinted with a hint of... something. Maybe disappointment? I don't know. "The movie isn't over yet. You seemed like ye were enjoying it." His brow furrows. "We could watch something else."
"I'm sure. It's fine; I'm just tired. We can watch another movie tomorrow night if you want."
His eyes light up at that. "Yeah, sounds perfect."
I'm back in Winnie's room by the time Ghost leaves mine. I can hear his footsteps padding down the hallway. Hear their muffled conversation and muted laughter.
As I fall asleep, I can't help but feel a different kind of loneliness. And, as I drift off, my heart aches for what Ghost and Johnny have.
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a/n: guess who's back! so Tali has finally met the boys :) sorry if this part is a little short, just wanted to get something out in time for christmas for you guys - merry christmas and take care of yourselves, lapetitelapin
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a-killer-obsession · 5 months ago
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Android!Killer notes and lore
Post will probably be updated over time as I think of more things 💙
Official name: Killer 2.0. Bounty posters call him Metal Man Killer. Marines considered him a new pirate, so he had to start his bounty from scratch, and as such is no longer considered a Supernova
Built by Kid to deal with his grief after Killer dies. Android contains his brain, retrieved from his original body after it took too much damage to support life
If you see posts with him interacting with original Killer its cos its just a fun lighthearted alternate timeline where Kid just built him as a replacement just in case. Don't ask me how he gave it Killer's personality, those posts are just for the giggles
Uses his original mask (repaired and restored) as headpiece. Lights have been installed in the holes to fill the gaps and hide the underlying electronics and brain
Helmet contains lenses for vision. Equiped with higher level vision such as nightvision, thermal imagining and xray
Aerial on side of helmet allows for better hearing as well as allowing others to communicate with him directly via den-den
Just as strong and agile as he was in his human body, though it did take a lot of physical rehab to get used to the mechanical body
Metal sections made from high quality metals making him essentially bullet proof
Basically, he's a purpose built super soldier
Water resistant, but not submerge safe. Kid is a skilled engineer, but hes no Vegapunk. Killer 2.0 can not submerge his chest section, or his systems will fail to work, and much like a devil fruit user he would sink like a stone. He can be pulled out and repaired, his brain is well protected, but he can't save himself
Chest, abdomen and buttocks are squishy, imagine the texture/firmness of those silicone chicken fillets you use to make your tits look bigger
Has a cock that's essentially a dildo that can emerge from a slit in the rubber between his legs, and yes it can vibrate
He can feel touch on most of his body, though mostly it just feels like pressure, he's basically a touch lamp, but Kid had Franky help him wire some parts to feel more, such as his hands and dick, allowing for pleasure, though he doesn't really have the ability to 'finish'. He can recieve an artificial boost of hormones to simulate pleasure and satisfaction but thats as close as it gets
Why did Kid give him a dick? Because he's a good friend, that's why totally no other reason
No mouth or asshole though, bit of an oversight on Kid's part tbh
Doesn't actually plug his hair in to sleep, those cables are entirely just scrap for show, hastily spraypainted to replicate Killer's hair. He does get plugged in to charge, but his cable comes out of the panel on of of his hands (both hands have charging cables for convenience so he can use whichever side is easier)
Lights flash when he's on charge because Kid stole the wiring and coding from some random electronic. He regrets it every fucking night.
Spends a lot of time oiling and polishing his hair cables and touching up the paint, it's sort of a force of habit but mostly it makes him feel more normal. Ties his hair up with zipties sometimes.
Serious mental health issues. I mean come on, the dude went through all the Wano bullshit, literally fucking died, and now he's not even human. Please someone get him some therapy. Sometimes uses his old lipstick to draw a big smile on his mask when he's having a mental breakdown.
Still loves to cook, but now he has to have a taste tester with him because he has no capacity to eat or taste
Kid obsessively does maintenance on him every single day because he can't bear to lose him again
Kid also needs therapy. This whole android situation is a cry for help tbh
Kid did his best to replicate Killer's voice, but there's something electronic and uncanny about it
All the Android AU posts
Refs:
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callofdudes · 1 year ago
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hello, sorry if this is rude, but I wanted to ask why you write Ghost the way you do?? I haven't played the games yet but I've been seeing some people debating on others writing him different ways.
Hey anon, I don't think it's rude. Now, if I understand this correct, yes, there are people who have been debating and even aggressive toward some people who write for different characters.
But I'll break down why I write Simon why I do.
First off, for those who haven't played the games and haven't looked into a character further than their sex appeal; Simon isn't heartless and rottenly cold.
He's not. Nor would he push around and hurt people who are in his circle on purpose. Going back to 2009 when Simon was shown in the og trilogy he was very close to captain MacTavish and made jokes and comments all throughout the game. While he's still very much professional, he has that balance.
It's shown, even in the new game that Simon cares deeply. One reason I think people want to think he's so cold because that's how he likes to present himself. But in the military, being particularly scary is probably favorable. That and being in the military as long as Simon or Price has, they have probably learned not to get too close to soldiers.
Since the sad part it, there's a very high chance they won't make it long.
And an intimacy issue. I've seen people getting upset because some people write Simon to flinch at every little touch. And while I think part of that has truth, Simon 100% has intimacy issues.
And this is partly me projecting into him, because Simon wouldn't be raised how he was and not have issues or extremely negative views and experiences around intimacy. And I doubt the military encouraged any different.
While I don't think he would flinch at every single thing, certain things are completely beyond his limits. I personally had a very abusive relative who always wanted hugs and I was always forced to hug her and be close to her. And since getting away I am extremely careful and particular about who hugs me.
I am uncomfortable hugging people who aren't in that selected little few, and really I'm still only 100% with hugs from my dad.
So does Simon have intimacy issues, absolutely he does. He doesn't know affection, and for someone who hasn't known a lot of a affection it can come off like a red flag or a trigger because they aren't used to it happening so in their mind; something must be wrong.
And a lot of affection can take Simon out of things. Like myself, if he's love bombed he is out of it and needs to step away because... Like what does he do? That's too much in one place at one time. Big boundaries.
But Simon is also gentle. Just because all of these things have happened to him doesn't mean he's always nasty. He's very gentle toward someone who shares an up bringing or even just a situation like he had. He's gentle with hostages and with kids when he finds them on the field. While he may not like children, he doesn't do anything to openly show that.
Touch-starved. All I need to say. When Someone like Johnny, or Reader gives Simon affection that he likes, he wants it all.
Like snuggles, when Simon comes to the realization of how much he just genuinely and innocently likes the company of a close body with warm arms wrapped around him, he wants more. He wants what they can give him. He needs to trust them though.
Simon is very closed off only until he's with those he is close with.
And yes, Simon is strong, but that does not mean he can't have mental struggles. Simon, in my world has had struggles with food because I have.
Simon can have anxiety and still be able to throw out quips and quick remarks like when johnny and him were bantering in the alone mission about his mask. He can have both.
You can be both confident in your profession and lacking confidence in another field. I see this a lot with König as well. They are both firm and know the drill and are very, very confident in their field of work because they know it.
But taken out of that head space and thrown into something casual of domestic for a bit and it completely takes them out and gives them anxiety.
Simon can be self conscious of his body and his stretch marks and still have confidence in other things.
And this is just how I personally like to write Simon. There is probably a lot more I missed but off the top of my head this is how I write him. And I enjoy writing him like this, and I'm glad others do as well.
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rpfofficial · 5 months ago
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hawkeye pierce. for the character asks
how I feel about him: he's my best friend my everything my silly rabbit my sweet cheese my good time boy my rotten soldier. etc. i deeply relate to him and admit i am guilty of projecting a lot of myself but that's mash writers and alan aldas fault for creating this character who is literally me but a few degrees off. i get frustrated by his characterisation in both canon and fanon often but im trying to #chill cos i know he's a fan favourite so everyone has their own views and interpretations of him. when it comes down to it i just like him very much and wish he was real so we could queen out together 🙏
all the people i ship romantically with him: bj & trapper, margaret (sometimes), klinger (though i don't think they're romantic and more like the crossover btwn sexual and platonic), mulcahy ❤️, and kellye sometimes though she deserves better LOL and that's again more like the klinger situation...
non romantic otp: hawkeye and radar closely followed by hawkeye and margaret... hawkeye and radar are the ultimate dynamic i think. Especially with trapper in the mix as well. and margaret and hawkeye make me crazy cos they're so different and yet so similar and the way their relationship evolves over the show is beautiful. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 also theyre both hot lol
unpopular opinion: tbh im not In Touch with the mash fandom so much soooo idk what an unpopular opinion is. but one thing i see often in post-canon fics is depicting him as this desolate unsalvagable wreck of a man, especially when it comes to hunnihawk there's this idea that bj is the only one who can save hawkeye from himself and its a little overdone i think. i love deep insights into his mental issues, i love bipolar hawkeye, i love manic hawkeye and depressed hawkeye, ive loved fics that delve into him having suicidal ideation that really resonate with me, but there's a level of "damsel in distress"-ifying him that i don't like, you know? especially when it erases other characters that are important to him like his Literal Father, or margaret....
what i wish had happened in canon: first thoughts that come to mind are incredibly inappropriate and would never happen on television in the 70s/80s. i think i would have like to see a Fallen Idol/Inga type episode that either didnt mischaracterise him (that is not how he would have reacted to Inga i dont think) or treat him as being the wrong when he's clearly in the right (everyone so mean to him in Fallen idol ☹️) and while both those episodes work really well as meta commentary on the show and on hawkeye's perception in pop culture, I would have much preferred some kind of deconstruction on his character that a) addressed his real actual personality and character quirks and backstory (more like dr pierce and mr hyde meets the "dear dad" episodes) and b) isn't ignored or not addressed for the rest of the show lol 😭 a girl can dream can't he.
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hymemena · 3 months ago
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Sadderday Lyric Sentence Starters Part One
Feel free to change pronouns as necessary, and remember to specify muse for multimuse blogs.
CW: General angst, self-deprecation, abandonment, abandonment issues, mental health, anxiety, smoking, drinking, blasphemy, death, cheating, lying, depression
Mike Krol - Fifteen Minutes
"What if I told you that the world was gonna end and you had 15 minutes to spend with me or your friends?"
"Would you take the first bus over to my house? Or would you take the last plane over the west coast?"
"It was over and done before we had a start."
"It goes on in my head."
"What if all the stars came crashing through the ground?"
"Would you believe me?"
"Would you believe me and come home and sit back?"
"I can't do this by myself."
"I guess we don't even need to use the phone."
"I don't need your answer, I'll be spending it alone."
Candi Carpenter - Nervous System
"I lie to my doctor about how much I drink and smoke."
"They ask about my income and level of education."
"In the Middle Ages, they used to do this thing called trepanation, a procedure where the surgeon drills a hole into your skull to let the evil spirits out and take the pressure off. The precursor to lobotomy before neurobiology."
"I have a nervous system. I'm nervous all the time."
"I'm just a cannibal eating myself alive."
"They say that life's a party, but I've always hated parties."
"I imagine a car wreck every time I touch my car keys."
"I don't want to go anywhere."
"When I check the captcha box that says I'm not a robot, I'm lying to myself and I'm lying to my laptop."
"I wonder if Sigmund Freud turned into his dad, too?"
AJJ - Rejoice
"God's ears are stitches!"
"Rejoice despite the fact this world will hurt you."
"This world will kill you."
"This world will tear you to shreds."
"Rejoice because you're trying your best."
"The bed you sleep in is burning."
"The sky's fucking falling!"
"Your father's been calling."
"You will not survive."
"You'll never make it out alive."
The Orion Experience Feat. ORION & Linda XO - The Queen Of White Lies
"I like the way you make me feel like I could be the number one game in town."
"All those pretty words you say to me, they pick me up whenever I'm feeling down."
"I know you're just a white witch putting that spell on me."
"You know I love the punishment, so keep telling me that you love me."
"Look deep into my eyes, say there's no one else above me."
"I'm the King/Queen of Fools 'cause Baby, you're the Queen/King of White Lies."
"You're like the Cheshire Cat."
"There's a devil that resides behind your smile."
"You've got them diamond eyes, they hypnotize your unsuspecting victims with style."
"I know I'm not the one and only game you're playing."
Citizen Soldier - I Hate Myself
"I wish that I had somebody to call when I am not okay."
"I wish that I had anyone who cared when I am in that place."
"I wish I could have a mental breakdown without turning my life into a ghost town."
"More than anything, I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself."
"I wish somebody listened as much as I go through Hell."
"I wish there was a person that would miss me when I can't leave bed."
"I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made-up friends."
"I wish I could be honest."
"These days, it's hard to have faith."
"The more I speak, the more I see just how alone I really am."
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alicepao13 · 1 year ago
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A lot of my thoughts about the second episode can be summed up in one phrase:
Why the hell wasn't that the first episode???
But I'll try to go a bit more in depth than that.
I'm sure we've had episodes with more action but this was a dynamic episode. Yeah, Charlie and Rex spent a lot of time being just the two of them again, yadda yadda. I can't keep talking about that after every single episode. In fact, since it's kinda the premise of the show, they could very well turn and call me stupid for assuming it would be centered on the rest of the characters as well. But I should also judge what was in the episode, not only what was missing.
Charlie character backstory in season 6? Okay, I'll take it. Daddy issues isn't something revolutionary (then again, you can't do anything remotely revolutionary in a cop show, much less a cop show that's comes from a previous show) but it's something. It's a character moment. Hopefully, it wasn't just that and we'll see Charlie's father.
The action scenes were nicely shot and very dynamically and made you feel like you were in the middle of the action. Yeah, they used a few too many dutch angles at times (they're not supposed to be used so liberally) but I can forgive that.
I don't have much of an issue with the plot as plot. The script was funny at times, some scenes were heartwarming, it was all pro-military bullshit of course, but it's a cop show and Charlie is a navy brat. I've seen 1,500 episodes of NCIS, I can cope. Even when the military-ish music started playing when Charlie was talking to the female perp (forgot her name and also don't have a better name for the genre of music). Props for them hinting that most vets fall through the cracks after they serve while they need help (this episode also aired 2-3 days after World Mental Health Day, and they did discuss a bit, or well, slightly brushed, the fact that soldiers come back after combat, often traumatized, to a world vastly different than how the military works, and they have trouble adjusting to the real world).
Sarah needing time off to buff up a resume that she makes clear she doesn't need? Do not want. Unless it's setting up some future storyline but it better not be her breakup with Charlie. I'll be honest, I'm on the fence about the lack of Charah. The way this show is being written, it could very well be nothing, so I'm not getting that worked up about it. But as a shipper I'd obviously have liked to have seen scenes with them by now. Especially considering how S5 started. I consider seasons 4 and 5 pretty much equal in quality, for different reasons (season 5 being a constant flat tone in terms of angst and stakes only to show "signs of life" in the end got some negative points for me), but season 6 is not starting off great for a variety of reasons which I will not list here, and I also reserve the right to watch a few more episodes to understand what the heck the new showrunner is doing (Names! I want names! I want to know who I'll be cursing this season. Why don't all shows just put a showrunner credit for fuck's sake?)
Things like getting a bunch of motorbikes, only to make a half assed scene, which wasn't bad but didn't offer much either, in which you also can't make your protagonist do the chase and subsequent stunts (unless you hate him), I don't understand. And let's not forget your other protagonist is a dog. And said dog in another scene is indicating that Charlie needs to be getting back on his own bike? Why would Rex care about that? Is he going to ride with Charlie?
Anyway, while this episode wasn't spectacular, it was on par with a lot of typical crime show episodes. Which is where I put the quality of the Hudson and Rex show overall. Yes, I do like the show and I do pay more attention to it than any other crime show I currently watch (never mind the strikes, I'm talking the last two years at least), but that doesn't mean I consider it revolutionary television. An actual 7/10 episode would be considered a good day for this show, in my opinion. If anyone feels differently, I'd love to talk about it with people who have watched at least a few more crime shows. Because if you don't have something else to compare it to, then you can't compare it to anything.
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tokiro07 · 1 year ago
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Cipher Academy ch.52 thoughts
[Toss a Coin to Your Cipher Soldier]
(Contents: thematic analyses - fairness/friendship, predictions)
"If you let yourself become bound to strange rules, you're basically enslaving yourself." What is this, Undead Unluck?
This was a good showing for Yosaimura, who continues to be easily in my top 5 for this series. I've always been a huge fan of Nisio Isin's mental gymnastics, and this series' running theme of malicious compliance is a particularly fun display of it. Much like Iroha used Anonymity's methods against her by basically saying "well if she got to once, then so do I," Yosaimura literally turns Hakanage's logic on its head by saying "if you're going to say that cheating is fair, then I'm going to play so fair"
Anonymity points out that this is likely only something that Yosaimura even thought to do because she saw Iroha do that during the CLP election, which also reinforces the running theme of growth through interpersonal exposure. Iroha learned how to twist technicalities in his favor from Anonymity, and Yosaimura learned how to do that from Iroha. Everyone's learning something from each other, and apparently that's a quality that only Class A has been able to cultivate
We haven't really learned much about the other classes, but I definitely would believe that everyone else is a lot more...either extremely collectivist to the point of everyone losing their sense of identity (Class E who follow Kubinashi blindly and Class F who are required to hide their faces) or overly individualistic to the point that they can't form connections to each other (Class B's wild sense of expression and Class C's psychic children who have never been depicted interacting). I guess that comes with the territory for the School of Subterfuge, doesn't it?
I'm also always a sucker for character interactions that hinge on trust. Someone trusting their friend to understand a crazy plan, to not hurt them in a wild stunt, or trusting their enemy to behave in a certain way because that's what they've always hated/respected about them; being close enough to someone to rely on them, even if what you're relying on is their unreliability, is so romantic. If you didn't think that Yosaimura and Anonymity were a great ship before, Yosaimura telling her that she trusts her to do something dangerous has to at least help change your mind
For as much of a rapport as they've developed though, it really seems like there's going to be a point where everything falls apart. The fact that everyone's approaching a convergence and we've now completely eliminated Classes D and F suggests that neither of them are going to be the major enemy once we actually reach the bottom of the dungeon, so unless Kubinashi or Yonakiuguisu are bigger threats than they appear, the final conflict is almost assuredly going to be between Class A members. If I had to guess, it's going to come down to the CLP candidates again, but this time it'll be colored by how well everyone has gotten to know each other versus their actions being based on their initial, surface-level impressions of each other
Themes of friendship aside, I feel like the thing that Nisio Isin wants me to take away from this chapter is that cryptocurrency is bad. I don't really get how crypto works (or the economy for that matter), but even I can understand that if a new currency is introduced that is inherently "worth" more than the entire world economy, that's going to cause some issues. Even if we assume that it's worth the exact same amount, doubling the world's money in an instant would theoretically tank the value of all of the world's money, assuming that anyone actually recognizes the value of that currency. I guess the question for me is why anyone would, but again, I don't know how crypto works
If nothing else, it also does raise a good question of how Iroha's plan can actually work - if the value of Morgue is based on the presence of wars, how would he be able to use it to stop wars? If you give someone war-money to stop wars, then the money you paid them is inherently worth less upon receipt because there's less war, right? The best I could see is giving one nation a ton of Morgue and telling everyone else "you know how you can tank that nation's economy? End your wars, their money will become worthless." Honestly, with Nisio at the helm, I won't be too shocked if that's even remotely close
Now that everyone is getting pretty close, I do hope that things will become a bit less episodic soon. Seeing so many different characters in so many different locations is fun, but it's starting to feel kind of..disconnected, I'd say. It's like nothing anyone is doing is having any impact on anyone else, so seeing everyone reunite should help it feel like these stories have consequences outside of floor they occur on
Beyond that, what I'm really looking forward to is seeing how people outside of the dungeon are fairing. Hakanage got knocked out a little too easily; much like Zakuroguchi who I predict is secretly pulling strings from the sidelines, I'm willing to bet that Hakanage is going to do something shady now that no eyes are on her
Until next time
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waffliesinyoface · 8 months ago
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Re: that ask game post i just reblogged
under a readmore because it's gonna be long. it's about Hasami, obviously.
1: she does have a big one, but she can only sleep with it at home, because, you know. you can't really bring a big stuffed wolf plushie on a mission. (Yes, it's a wolf. She didn't buy it herself, it was a present when she was younger, because giving wolf-related items as presents to an inuzuka is just like. The thing to do. Obviously the wolf-clan girl likes dogs.)
2: plant: no. pet: yes, but only because most childhood chores were some variation of "go take care of puppies". child: absolutely not. please do not attempt to make her hold a baby.
3: this isn't a problem until she's been working as a ninja for several years but one day she realizes that the majority of her friends are incredibly strong, lethal women who are occasionally covered in sweat and blood, and now she has to be. normal. about this.
4: does red facepaint/magical seal tattoos count? if so, yes. if not... maybe? I'm not sure.
5: she's not exactly prone to giving speeches but also. she's based on me and I have exactly zero issues with public speaking, so. She could do it? It's just not exactly the kind of thing that comes up.
6: I'm not sure about who she'd take advice from, because like. It depends on the subject. But if her first impression of you is that you're annoying, she will probably never listen to anything you say, ever. If someone else comes along and agrees with them, she might listen. To them. But she won't be happy about it.
7: im not doing this one because i am incapable of being concise :)
8: Frustrate. She is. She can be smart. But also. She is mostly built for stabbing things. She tried to ask Tenten about fuinjutsu one (1) time to save money on exploding seals and the barest simplest most stripped down fuinjutsu felt like trying to do trigonometry without a calculator. Please do not give this girl a puzzle that cannot be solved with some form of violence.
9: Yes, because I do too. But it's not such a big deal to her because there's more important things, like not dying.
10: She's just fine at the age she is now.
11: Save most of it, but like. Maybe a couple impulse purchases. (Does konoha even HAVE a lottery? Also how would she win, she wouldn't buy a ticket.)
12: Give her a few years.
13: She gets taught lots of life skills, because Ninja Mom. But maybe the most important thing she learned is the fact that sometimes very scary things will just happen and it will be awful and people will lie to you and everyone will just treat it as completely normal!! Thanks!!
14: She would, but also, I haven't thought of any she has. Hrm.
15: Hates cleaning things because they're just going to get dirty again ANYWAYS.
16: I'm going to assume this is for like. Fancy occasion type stuff. Because ninja wear the cost is less important than "will this be a hindrance in a fight y/n". So for NON-mission related clothes. She would like to wear an extremely fancy layered kimono at some point.
17: She IS a children, but even so: not really!! Kids konohamaru's age and younger are mentally classified as "annoying brats"
18: Give her a few years.
19: Studying is hard but if you get good points on the practical that makes up for it!! Also what is a "job interview" she signed up to be a child soldier at age six, and as such never has to worry about them. Because she is already a tool of the state.
20: At some point on a C-rank her team is going to eat at a restaurant that sells food which is like. The naruto-equivalent of western food. Hasami is the ONLY person who likes it, and is SO ANNOYED that she can't get any in konoha. I would say something cheese-based, but I'm not sure if that's common in the elemental nations or not. I know they have cows. But I don't know if cheese is popular.
21: please stop asking about dating questions she is twelve and an idiot
22: no, they're LAME
23: Stability. Novelty is nice but she gets a lot of that in just normal missions. "Stability" is good, when your chosen profession is violence. Unfortunately she lives in konoha, and *looks at orochimaru. and pein. and obito.* uh oh!!!
24: Honesty. Yes she knows there's lots of lies involved in ninja society, but that does not mean she has to Like It.
25: She would probably prefer safety for some stuff, but also: sometimes it is literally not on the table. Unfortunately you do have to take risks as a ninja. A lot. All the time.
26: They are not mutually exclusive even talented people have to put in effort and even people who have to work hard are better at some things than others.
27: Vengeance : )
28: please stop asking about dating questions she is twelve and an idiot
29: She very occasionally dreams about non-narutoland stuff and it is frustrating because that's not her life anymore. Especially annoying when she dreams about traffic because not only should she not have to deal with that anymore, but: she can't even complain about it to other people.
30: The only people who she would care enough to want forgiveness from she wouldn't want to do anything bad to them. She would feel guilty!!! But also, like, she could kill an enemy ninja and Not Really Care because, uh. That's life!! She reincarnated just fine so really if death is the end for you thats a skill issue. Also edo tensei exists so there is SOME form of ninja heaven, clearly.
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foggyparadisecandy · 1 year ago
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I have friends in the military who I care about greatly. I support them and their choices in life.
But I have grown to despise how poorly people in the miltary are treated.
If we have the money to send kids (yeah most of them are kids) off to trauma-laden experiences, we should have the money to help them get counseling and proper care.
God. I hate hating things but I hate the way this goes down.
There are next to no resources for proper care.
And even though it's not supposed to happen, often simply asking for care (which isn't always so easily available) might smudge your record.
For sure, anyone who has shown weakness in life in general knows how it might change others' perception of you. Not always. But ... too often.
And in the military, it can get even worse.
You're supposed to be tough. No room for being feelings.
"It won't do me any good for people to think I'm hurting." "I need to walk around with a smile on my face." "I just buried myself in the job and people love it."
I don't know what the answer is. I want to take action and create some resources that are useful and anonymous that can help those who are struggling.
Because burying shit doesn't fucking work. It's just so ill and it's sick to think we treat these people with such little regard.
And often, they get trapped - with no recourses in life but to keep going. Keep throwing themselves into high stress situations with no support system.
Ah fuck. This is not a condemnation of people in the miliatry or even the military itself. I am not naive. When push comes to shove, some assholes need to be taken out.
But we need to properly fund mental health services for our best and bravest. And remove any stigma for soldiers to seek proper care.
If we can't afford those things for these kids, what the fuck are we doing with our society?
Both political parties talk out of their ass on these issues.
Military friends - I hope you don't see this as an attack on you or your career. It's not. It's a rant about all the things you deserve and our society not taking care of you properly.
You deserve better.
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elaichoi · 1 year ago
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PLSDJJIDS I WAS THE OPPOSITE like i didnt wanna pay money but also like i had to have it to reach my fullest potential 👹👹👺
yes exactly i burnt out big time OTL cheers to being *less* mentally ill in the near future ^3^
that's totally understandable,, from the way i see it a majority of the asian population that goes by undiagnosed is v large,, and i'm not basing this off of any actual studies though i know there are some out there- but rather just the role culture (at least in most east asian cultures is as far as i'm qualified to speak for lol) plays in mental health makes diagnosis and treatment,, idk and just going by undiagnosed makes me sad that there are ppl who think this is the norm and that it's something you are expected to get over bc it's something "everyone goes thru" :( i very much relate on the front of gaslighting urself/being gaslit into thinking u just can't handle struggles that "everyone else manages to manage well" n that rlly sucks im sorry beb </3
DAMN LOL we r on the same boat on the same river 🥲 my little tiny snowball also started out w family problems and oh my god my mental health has come out of its hiding >o< i remember my counselor describing it as an unvented pressure cooker lmao
don't answer if you don't wanna, but do you still feel that way in the sense of repressing ur emotions? like refusing to acknowledge it ? i think i was like that for a small period of time but now im like the complete opposite which is like half miserable half not lmfaoo i will forever be the biggest advocate for anyone getting therapy even if u think u don't need it,,, but!! i also know its a big step and may not be accessible for some :<
no yeah cus i feel so gross and overwhelmed and like not in control of things and so ill start spiraling if i dont get up and take a shower ^_^
not throwing pity confetti in your face, just as someone who can relate at least in some ways, big kudos to u for having so much patience to put up w everything bc it must b very hard not to lose ur marbles all the time,,,, standing w u solider 🫡
OH TRUE I FORGOT AB THAT UGH BARF i remember ig always fucked up my video quality saur bad even after rendering n shit T_T
aaa goodluck bae<3 hehe yeah i always rlly want to after seeing so many pretty edits jdksdkf i might i might we shall see :>
STOPITNFSISD I WISH I COULD INSERT A REACTION PIC BC UR RIZZ GAME I HAVE NO WORDS HAHSDJJJ
mental health is such a fuck up like it's like a ticking bomb the way it can go off at any point of life and the urge to ghost everyone, im so ashamed fr
yeah like most of asian countries i feel like. in our culture mental health is seen as something that is seen interjected with "adulting" like when you grow up you're supposed to feel like this and it's your duty to like make peace with it and if you try to seek help for it your family members kinda take it like a failure like you couldnt even deal with this? there's just a whole lot of stigma surrounding it and on top of that, therapy not being that widely available in south asia is a huge problem.
bro pressure cooker, im glad to know you're actually very up front with your feelings now. it's always better than bottling them up, at least you don't feel like a stranger to yourself either, my issues make me feel like an imposter within myself like it's hard to distinguish between things that I feel like I'm making up and the other things that's fucking me up.
YOU ARE SO NICE I AM WITH YOU TOO MY SOLDIER ILY!!!!
lmao ngl I was like those scenario and concept editors right I would have continued to edit bc my edits were like THSIE most beautiful scenes in kpop mvs but I stopped bc the resolution was ASSS THAT TOO WHITE ASSS!!!!!
OMG i wonder how i rizzed u up 😩😩😩😩
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akiizayoi4869 · 4 months ago
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Just got up to the part where Gyatso flat out calls the Fire Nation the oppressors to Roku's face after he gets fed up with Roku denying that Sozin lied to him, and I still don't understand why so many people are mad about what he said. Again, this is why context is important. The two of them were accused of being killers by an earthbender who attacked them, claiming that they attacked him and killed the people he came to the island with. Obviously they didn't do that, which means that other people are on the island, which ALSO means that Sozin is hiding something from Roku, a fact that is obvious but it's something that Roku (understandably) does not want to accept. Gyatso is rightfully annoyed by this because their lives could be in danger and they don't even know why, and they don't know the real reason as to why Sozin wanted Roku's help. All they know is that Sozin lied. Which is enough for Gyatso to want to leave. Roku, however, wants to stay because he doesn't want the Earth Kingdom to acquire whatever is on the island because the island belongs to the Fire Nation, and because he thinks that the Earth Kingdom can't be trusted at all. Now, to me? That sounds like that good old Fire Nation mentality of "nobody but us can be trusted and everyone else is beneath us" which is about what I'd expect to see from an imperialist nation and government. That's most likely what it sounded like to Gyatso as well, and Roku's words beforehand don't help. When they first arrived on the island and discovered something about what the Earth Kingdom was up to, Gyatso makes a comment about it, and Roku responds by saying "The Earth Kingdom isn't known for its cunning" which is basically calling them stupid. Which, again, goes back to that superiority complex that the Fire Nation has. He's basically been saying a lot of things that leads into that mindset up to this point in the story, so I think that it's only natural that Gyatso would eventually have enough and let Roku have it. Also, it's obvious that something that the soldier said set Gyatso off: when they ask him who he was, he responds with "I'm Oh Wen. Private security guard for the Western Kingdom Trading Company."
Immediately after he says that, Gyatso stiffened, something that Roku takes notice of. And after that, Gyatso's demeanor just changed. I'm going to guess that it has something to do with his past, particularly his sister. Anyway, Roku keeps on harping on the fact that he can't leave because this is Fire Nation property and the Earth Kingdom can't have whatever it is that they came there for. Between whatever it is that Sozin doesn't want Roku to know about endangering them, and what that soldier said setting him off, Gyatso finally snaps at Roku.
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Guess what? He's right. Roku is a noble, so he doesn't know how the common people live, or even the people who come from poverty. The world is primarily made up of people of lower status. How is Roku supposed to be of any help to them when he has absolutely zero understanding and interest of their circumstances, and he comes from a nation that couldn't care less about people like that? It was the same issue with Avatar Szeto. He did everything he could for the Fire Nation, meanwhile he gave the other nations the finger and left them to basically care for themselves. That's not what the avatar is supposed to do or be like. Something that Roku has yet to fully grasp and understand, which is why Sister Disha has been trying to tell him that she won't teach him airbending unless he fully let's go of everything that he was taught in the Fire Nation, because she knows what the Fire Nation is like. Everyone knows what the Fire Nation is like and what their beliefs are. She knows that an avatar who fully embraces those beliefs before his/her duties to the world will not be a good avatar at all. That is what she is trying to teach him, and in a way? Gyatso just spelled it out for him here.
The discourse around the Roku Novel has been so amusing to me for the past few days that I just had to make my own post about this lmao. Ok so for all of the morons in this fandumb who are hating on Gyatso for what he said to Roku (despite the fact that he was entirely within his rights to do so. There is nothing better than to have someone being blunt with you about something when you absolutely need that reality check) and saying "why are they trying to make the Fire Nation look worse?! This is terrible writing" I just have one thing to say: THAT'S THE ENTIRE DAMN POINT🤣. Of course we're going to be shown the Fire Nation being shitty and whatnot, this is before the freaking 100 year war started! You really think that the Fire Nation was all sun shine and rainbows before Sozin's reign? Looks like Roku wasn't the only one who needed that reality check from Gyatso. If the Fire Nation was this place where nothing fucked up was happening and everything was perfect, it would have never given rise to a man like Sozin, and he never would have done what he did. The novel is pretty much giving us a glimpse of what the Fire Nation was like during Roku's time, and how it ultimately resulted in the war. I don't know how or why that's so hard for some people to understand.
Also, the Fire Nation committed a genocide. Pretty sure you can't get any worse than that lol.
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blackmambaboobs · 2 years ago
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(platonic please!) Mercs with a friend who has trauma and doesnt like to be touched or yelled at? (Delete this if you want)
I have trauma and will only let certain people touch me (and even won't let those said people do that sometimes 'cause of sensory issues), so I got you!
TF2 Mercs X Gender Neutral Traumatized Reader (Platonic) Headcanons: Scout: -He finds out how touch and yelling effects you when he went to compliment you on your skills in battle while patting your back and you just look so scared and uncomfortable?? -Once you explain to him why you reacted that way, he understands and tries to remember to be careful with you. -He often wonders why you are a merc' but he knows everyone's got their reasons. Spy: -He knew about your issues from doing research on you before, so he's aware of how you react to stuff like that. -While he may be an Asshole sometimes, he's not a complete Cunt and even helps you when someone yells or something. -He reminds the other mercs to be easy on you and to not touch you so they're aware. Soldier: -He yells at you to greet you and to pat you or something and is extremely confused when you have a breakdown because of it. -After Medic helps you and explains to him why he shouldn't do that, he tries his hardest to be a bit calmer after that. -You can still hear him yell at the others mercs, but if he sees you, he instantly calms down and gives you personal space. Sniper: -He wasn't aware of your issues until he overheard the other mercs talking about it and quickly makes a note to be calm around you. -He doesn't talk loud or touch people (unless it's to hurt them), so he knows he won't have a problem remembering. -He'll often wonder what happened that caused you to be so frightened by those actions though. Medic: -He was already aware of your trauma since he did a check on your mental health and such. -He doesn't touch you and tries to speak in a soft tone as to not scare you especially when he has to do a check up on you or something. -He scolds anyone that doesn't listen to his orders when it comes to you. Heavy: -He's not a loud person unless he's in battle and doesn't touch people often. -He finds out how touch and yelling effects you when he thanks you for helping him by putting his large hand on your shoulder. -Once Medic explains, he apologizes and promises to not scare you again. Engineer: -He overheard the other mercs talking about how you react to ceratin things they do at dinner and like Sniper, keeps note just in case. -Whenever someone touches you or yells at you, he explains and even scolds them for not being considerate. -He lets you vent to him and reminds you you're okay. -He basically acts like a fatherly figure towards you sometimes. Demoman: -Because of his drunken state, he's not aware that he's yelling or touching anyone until after when he's sober. -He apologizes to you after he finds out that he scared you because of the fact he was drunk and yelling. -Tries to make sure that if he is drunk that he's not around you 'cause he can't promise that he won't yell or touch you. Pyro: -They're a very touchy and semi-loud person, so they don't really think about the fact that it may make people uncomfortable. -Once you explain that you don't like touch and yelling because of trauma, they 100% respect that and even try to remind the other mercs to do the same! -Will burn anyone that doesn't respect you and your trauma-
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