#and despite not being ace myself
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you would think after all the yapping i do about these losers i would have a plethora of art uploaded … no… so here is my first kantrio post lol
i did these over the last month while watching the olympic weightlifting and jamming to kpop (stan red velvet and kiss of life BTW!!!)
#pokemon#pkmn#trainer red#rival blue#trainer leaf#i made them classy and smoke from a joint idk maybe i should of done the classic aussie teen experience and make them smoke from a water#bottle bong 🤩 red is a massive foodie so ofc he has the multiple options of snacks ready lol my go-to fried food was a capriccosia pizza 😭#i’m always conflicted on the blue smoking hc (just cigarettes yall lol) i often see fanart of professor blue smoking and i see the vision#50/50??? let me ask the audience 🗣️ i think i’m bias cause i am cursed with thinking men who smoke are extremely attractive lmao#there is 100% lore behind that second piece but i am so burnt out and i don’t think it’ll fit in tags lol#also just have a raging fear of sharing anything kantrio related LOL like raging projectile vomiting level anxiety#blue fears repeating the toxic cycles he grew up in but oops he’s doing exactly that in the second piece 🧐#wowzers … as kieran would say lol … i love writing and thinking about blue and his emotional growth over those 3 years red was missing#but hey sometimes something hurts so badly it takes you back to that sad and scared child version of yourself right?#strength to me is like: red >>>>>>> leaf >> blue🤷🏻♀️ they technically both canonically beat blue in gamecanon so … my girl is strong sorry#ain’t standing shy timid leaf in this house …#also - despite being acespec myself i didn’t know demi was under the ace umbrella! i think it suits red super well imo :p#pan aswell bc i don’t think he gaf 😭 also shout out to one of my fave pkmn artists kiriato 🫶🏻🤧 i was going through such bad art block and#their work inspired all of these :3 i love their stuff sm espcially their comics 🥹 i drew all of these using their brush sets too!!!#trainer blue#blue pokemon#red pokemon#leaf pokemon#pokemon art#pokemon fanart#pokemon frlg#trainer green#rival green#my art <3#kanto au
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🖤🩶🤍💜
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#kamui gakupo#gackpoid#camui gackpo#gakupo vocaloid#神威がくぽ#asexual#purple#black#alternate title: gakupo if he slayed LMAOOO#man i always forget about ace awareness week despite being a raging ace myself 💀 oops.#but anyways i got reminded. and gakupo keychain arrived yesterday... gakupo is purple.............. so this happened lmao#grrrr ONE DAY ill get good at drawing him 😭😭 i still feel like i suck and idk WHAT it is about him that makes him not work as well#in my style. but grrrrrr i will figure it out at some point... and i WILL git gud at drawing him. i need to. 😔😔😔 i lijke him...#i have those ace sunglasses irl btw LMAO its my only piece of ace merch... fucking $1 target sunglasses 💀💀 lmao. but at least SMTHN#the vision. guys. ace gakupo would be SOOOOOOOO powerful. trust me on this.#also i need to stop being too silly rn and lock the fuck INNN im so screwed lmfao. i got texted by a classmate while drawing this 😭#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT TOMORROW I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABT AND HAVE TO SPEEDRUN. EMAILS. CONFERENCE. AHHH#save me pretty eggplant man.... oguhgghhh. the soundtrack was not helping while drawing this LMFAO. ily fucked up gakupo songs 💜
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i miss our old house
#i miss the reliable AC and the front door that worked right and the huge beautiful kitchen#i miss having attentive landlords and the garbage can fitting in the garage#i miss when my room was big enough to lay on the floor properly#:^(#idk. like. ik there are things abt this place that i do like.#but. i’ve lived here 7 months now and i still don’t feel like i Live Here.#maybe because i haven’t let myself cuz ik i will probably have to move again in january. idk.#this place. despite being smaller. feels much lonelier.#also it costs more. a lot more. eugh.#izzy.txt
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I've only known Sorin for a few minutes, but I've already headcanoned him with selective mutism. No blorbo of mine shall escape my social anxiety headcanons.
#as someone with selective mutism (and social anxiety overall) myself good god i need this#him writing notes to communicate despite being face-to-face augh i feel ya man#the blank expression... and daydreaming... the relatability is off the charts#live neo reaction#ace attorney#spirit of justice#sorin sprocket
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need more boy kisser mutuals for the love of god
#feeling the impetus to label myself a gay man despite it being very untrue#for similar reasons that i called myself ace until i was 16#feel free to interpret that however you like
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Ngl I've been having a gender crisis again on top of all the stuff that's happened with my dad, I think I still identify as male/masculine idk 🗿
Same with my ace/aro spectrum placement ☝️🗿
#comet rambles#putting in queue to deploy later#parent loss tw#just in case by association n implications ☝️🗿/nm+gen#when i get stuff set up with my checking account i was already thinking of getting a new chest binder once our personal issues with finance#has been figured out definitely#i dont wanna say much n jinx stuff so ill leave it at that#personal#gender shit is hard n i really think i may be a he/they or he/him still#or if not then closeted butch lesbian idk#most signs point to male gender identity leaning though 😔👍#also my social battery is outta wack but i needed to get this out so i apologize to anyone who i have yet to respond to/gen+nm 🥹#like i genuinely still feel as though ive been born in the wrong body and i tried to accept my feminity and it went well!!#like i started embracing my femininity the past few years and now i think im over it because it feels like i just attempted to try#and be something i wasn't if that makes any sense#i hate being referred to as she/her or as a girl even if i understand some people will still see me as fem despite my personal identity etc#its not that i hate my femininity its just i feel anything but female while still enjoying traditionally fem stuff at times#hope this makes sense#🗿👍#still ace/aro though just cant figure out if i only enjoy the thought of romance (cupiosexual/romantic) or if i feel comfy in one#i know im sex repulsed though thats for certain#as of lately chris Redfield and Albert Wesker have become two of my transition goals and idk what to do about this lmfao#i wish i was kidding#but im not 😭#sitting here like EVA shinji with his head in his hands in the damn chair image/lh#also wanna be a rootin tootin goth cowboy 🥰#if it turns out im like a comphet butch/nb lesbian im gonna shit myself though/lh+nm
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anyway if, by the time i have figured out how to code a game, we still dont have it (and i expect we wont) i WILL make an rpg with aro "love" interests. ur protagonist can be an aroallo whore now. whats love if not the thing that some people feel sometimes. some of your allies are only down to have sex with you and will reject you outright if you try to romance them. no monogamy limits outside of maybe specific actual romances. these aros would be absolutely destroyed by the potential fandom but its ok i didnt make them for you <2
#ramblings#it wont be a big rpg i mean. solo dev moment#unless i magically get some decent classmates in school willing to back me up#OR i dare to put myself out there. on the internet. and ask for help.#but for now it is a solo thing#i like games with love interests weve all seen how i talk about my 3 da boyfriends. and gale#but man i wish we had something where sex didnt eventually lead to a romantic confession#like as an aroallo person i just think maybe it would be nice.#& like. specifically aro. you can be specifically aro. some companions would be specifically aroallo#not 'im in it for the sex but you can romance me if you do your best' no i want SEX. and SEX ALONE!#as i was writing this post i remembered how aro characters are treated (will never forget 'but shes still ace in my fic')#and yes. these characters despite being explicitly aromantic. would still get romantic fics#and yes. i would hate that happening.#but also as i said. i didnt make them for you. your toys are right there. look. fwb to lovers is overdone. go play baldur#this post WAS triggered by me thinking about baldursg despite me really liking that game#i love that game but it sucks i cant just. idk. experience my specific brand of homosexuality#listen marrying el to gale was delightful but my actual self insert character was so SO alone#and withers going 'thou hast no bosom companion why' actually made me a little mad. sorry#like no ones gonna cater to aroallos except for aroallos. i know this. but it still kinda sucked
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Finally tried out Ghost Trick tonight
#vu's posts#i downloaded a bunch of demos for interesting-looking games to my switch last month#and that was one of them... it's weird because despite being a long-time ace attorney fan i never thought to check this game out#but honestly? so far it's really good. and no joke i kept saying 'oh yeah i can *see* the shu takumi writing style here'#i really enjoyed great ace attorney (which he also wrote) a year and a half back so i think i'll really enjoy this too#i also tried out... spiritfarer... hyrule warriors... and octopath traveler 2. couldn't get into any of them honestly.#SF falls into the 'cozy' game genre... and i fucking hate that genre. it's so boring.#i could talk about my disdain for that genre as a whole some more 🤢 but i will spare everyone reading this.#hyrule warriors was a letdown because... i guess i just dislike that style of gameplay?#this was my first time trying a dynasty warriors-type game... and i had a feeling that i wouldn't like it. it's a shame i was right though#and as for octopath traveler... i think i'm willing to give it more of a chance? but at the same time...#It's a turn-based jrpg. and between p5 and pokemon i'm kind of burnt out on that genre#i want to give it another chance because i might actually really enjoy the writing... but idk if i can tolerate the jrpg gameplay 😬#OH#i also started on alan wake and death's door last month... so far so good on both.#AW is one of those games that my bslur 1 was OBSESSED with when i was younger. so that's been my connection to it for years#never thought that i'd care about it at all but.. yeah it's actually pretty good so far#death's door is hella fun so far... it was slow at first but i'm really enjoying myself with it now#but yeah. i'm gonna go to bed now... que tenga una buena noche 👋
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The beauty of being hot and sweaty and still not entirely getting what your doing but feeling so butch just fixing something. Even if it’s just holding cardboard in place while your dad tapes the edges. Even if it’s just watching the hose drip. Even if it’s just smacking the side of a fan to make it turn on.
#idk ever since I got my new lesser sleeved shirts I’ve been feeling so butch#beauty in the blistering heat. feeling better in my own skin despite being unbearably sweaty from the heat#while I’d once ‘fix’ any thing pointed out by someone despite loving it on myself I proudly walk away even as I’m told to shave#it may just be hair on my legs belly and armpits but it is mine. and no one can make me get rid of it#positive vent#butch#also for anyone wondering yes my ac is very much still broken#it actually exploded! (the condenser did that is. tho that means our insurance now pays for it which is good)#and they’re may be a issue with our water? but it’s not too bad. if it does break um I might do commissions at last lol#idk if we could pay for it. or at least mot have much if left over if we could#ruse rambles
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Sometimes people will comment on completed oneshots with 'can't wait to see what happens next' and you're just like 'oh babe that's it' but now you kinda feel you gotta figure out what would happen next despite the story being over in your mind
#ace writes sometimes#writing problems#Comments#im not bothered by the comments i just have an intrinsic need to please and so when someone expresses interest in a story i want to continu#it for them its just sometimes that interest is in completed ficlets and i end up putting pressure on myself thats not necessary#im not saying dont comment that! ive continued oneshots that had been completed before and sometimes despite being completed i do have#further ideas for that verse its just that im not committing to writing that story so i mark it as complete for now so in those instances#seeing that other people are also interested in potential follow up is great! but i just dont want to disappoint people when i inevitably#do not follow up because im bad at updating my actual wips never mind previously completed works#*edit: i responded to the initial comment that prompted this post explaining that the fic in question is complete and i didnt have plans to#change that but i can see how it might seem unfinished with how i left it cus i was unhappy with it at the time i dont have plans for it bu#i have continued completed oneshots before. basically in a theres no plan but it could happen just dont hold out hope#and they left another comment. on an unrelated fic asking me to write a fic with the plot of the fic i had already completed with no#acknowledgement or reference to the fic they were actually commenting on so now it starting to seem a lil pushy maybe a tad entitled
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Me, tryna get ready: *to the tune of fireflies* you would not believe your eyes, how fucking disorganised
#ace is a mess#Uni pals#finally going to meet up with friends in Scotland and i suddenly cant find anything despite being certain it was right there moments#before i needed and yet it disappears when its actually necessary like bestie whered you go?#i was fighting with my hair and lost. she won the battle this time and probably next time too#was tryna use my heatless curlers that i never bother with cus its too time consuming and my hair just kept tangling so i gave up#its in a different heatless style now cus i also lost against my straighteners while curling my fringe so it went into a roller instead 🙃#at least the braids cooperated the dye and parting did not but middle parts rarely work first time with my cowlick and widows peak#i ended up settling on the red plaid skirt and the deciding factor came down to the bra i wanted to wear in the end go figure#and yes i absolutely do talk and sing to myself about my own stupidity cus unfortunately i cannot fight me#guess whos posting this from the train the almost missed having realised they forgot to pack their water bottle and snacks 🙃🤦
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Me: “I’m going to stop procrastinating and read The Invisible Man this weekend.”
Me, not even a day later: “Hehehehe Fahrenheit 451 go BRRRRRRR”
#I mean… at least I’m reading *something* and not going on my phone 24/7???#(I was able to find a hard copy for a low price; and I bought it despite everything screaming in me not to#(both my parents know I bought it because I told them it’s one of my favorite books ever)#If they do end up reading the synopsis on Wikipedia — or the book itself — and decide it’s too worldly for me to have#they may be less inclined to destroy it because it’s a book about book burning; or (more hilariously) they may decide to destroy it#in which case I will whip out my crappy digital copy and read Beatty’s lecture at the end of part one to them; to hold it up as a mirror#I may also have a copy of the 2003 edition of 1984 coming in the mail along with two other books (so I can open it privately and say#“I bought these two books because they looked interesting” and they’ll believe me (if the package is ambiguous enough)#or if it isn’t ambiguous I can just find a book I have that they’ve never seen me read and “re-gift” it to myself)#because I feel I will work more efficiently with a real copy of 1984 in my hands… and it will serve as motivation for me to read it again#which will further my understanding of the novel and make my adaptation better#(not to mention the fact that the books were on sale for five dollars a piece)#but one of the other books’ synopses revolves around the fact that a man woke up “bandaged and being tended to by his wife” 👀👀#and it seems like a “good” story in the eyes of the cult so uh#yeah#looking respectfully (in an ace way)#my book now#also: Anyone ever read the book Warp Speed by an author with the last name of Yee? Highly recommend#That one I already have (and I may read it again soon idk) but the third book I got reminds me of it in terms of the vibe of the premise#It’s about a kid who jokes all the time as a trauma response#something tells me I’ll relate to that LOL#I’m gonna have to sell a lot of my books because they just don’t interest me any longer (of course they don’t; I was nine#and I bought them at a book fair knowing full well I hated reading))#I’ll keep Guitar Notes and Godzilla and Killer Species 1 and 2; but the rest can all go#OH MY GOD Infestation… that one’s excellent. I’ll keep that too#Giant ants attacking a boarding school for troubled boys; and these kids have to escape the compound without getting eaten#good book#Loved it as a ten year old suffering from melancholy and whooping cough
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Gonna try out my weed lube tonight but don't worry if it doesn't work I have a backup plan
(more weed and more lube)
#one time as a young ace teen i read an article about a woman who drank a small bottle of weed lube#(it didnt do anything for her vag but she didnt want to waste it)#anyway she forgot to look at how many mg were in the bottle (different formulations for different ways of absorption)#and she was insanely high for 3 days straight#despite the entire article being about weed and lube. she neglected to share if drinking it made it work better#anyway i think about that article a lot and now that i am a Grown Up stoner i am excited to try it myself
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Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :
Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources
Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)
Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women
Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women
Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)
Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)
Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community
Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS
Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough
Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media
Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards
Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories
Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")
And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue
Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)
#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos#And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here#and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here#And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives#Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite#2014 me would have. For sure.#This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr#James Somerton#hbomberguy#todd in the shadows#This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday#So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man#The call is coming from inside the house#The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere#And that somewhere was a tumblr post
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It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.
I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.
I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.
I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)
I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.
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ace attorney characters: do they fuck good?
phoenix: what he lacks in skill and experience (and i DO believe he lacks these things at least until he starts fucking kristoph on the reg) he somewhat makes up for with enthusiasm and taking direction well
mia: i do think she was partying hard at law school almost rumspringa style after getting away from living as a Mountain Nun so yes
maya: i do think she could fuck like a champ but u gotta be in to her clown antics or it's not gonna land. kinda girl who would strip naked and hten u see shes got like eyes drawn on her boobs with sharpie
gumshoe: i think that he's so The Type of whoever is gonna be sleeping with him that it almost doesn't even matter. he's probably fine though. hes a nice guy.
edgeworth and franziska: sharing a slot because they share an answer. no, for identical reasons. they're such neurotic perfectionists that sex terrifies them because there's not any way to practice before someone has to see you do it. they need someone who can love them the way a tween girl loves a Problem Horse to blossom into their full potential
larry: no.
lana: no because shes a workaholic and shes just trying to get it over with half the time because she's got other shit to do
ema: to repeat myself from earlier i think she kind of sucks and kind of doesn't give enough of a shit #depressiongirlswag
apollo: yeah i think apollo fucks
klavier: this one's really hard to me because i do think klavier is giving it his all but due to him being hot and famous i'm just not sure he's ever gotten honest feedback in this department so i really can't say. i think odds are decent that he's mid and coasting and if he ever knew this it'd devastate him
kristoph: unfortunately for everyone i think the answer is yes but only if his entire personality isn't a dealbreaker for you
lang: obviously. next question.
justine: yeah
asougi: not as good as he thinks he is. once again the hotness is doing a bunch of heavy lifting
ryuu: i know he's a freak in bed but i don't think he knows he's a freak. despite or perhaps because of that that i think he's kind of a savant in this department since it's the version of reality that's funniest for me.
van zieks: pray forgive his discourtesy of getting glass shards and red wine stains on the bedsheets and also just generally staring off into space like a brooding widow during these carnal acts
sholmes: the attention span is just too fucked he's that post about leaving someone tied up in the other room and then forgetting. if you could get him to stay still long enough the dick would probably rule but you can't. you just can't.
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