#i want to give it another chance because i might actually really enjoy the writing... but idk if i can tolerate the jrpg gameplay 😬

[viulus]

Finally tried out Ghost Trick tonight

[redxx95]

Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words 💀)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈

[pitchsidestories]

Girlfriend Material II Jen Beattie x Reader

masterlist I word count: 3223

summary: in which Jen Beattie falls in love with a sports journalist who is also a single mother.

A/N: based off this request here. We hope you enjoy this one and we agree with you that Jen Beattie is really underrated. As always this is just fiction.

audio transcript of the interview with Jen Beattie for the bookproject

Jen: sips on her coffee So, how did you..?

Reader: laughs amused do I have to remind you Jen Beattie that I'm the person here asking the questions and it's about the Scottish Women’s national team?

Jen: I thought we weren’t starting yet!

Reader: You said you got your coffee in front of you and that we can start recording that conversation.

Jen: I didn’t know you meant immediately.

Reader: So now you know.

Jen: okay, sorry. I’ll let you talk now.

Reader: Thank you can see jen lifting her finger Yes?

Jen: No, sorry. I forgot I’m not allowed to ask questions.

Reader: Maybe you can ask a few so it feels more like a natural conversation? Maybe that works better for you too.

Jen: Okay, fine with me. How did you get the idea to write this?

Reader: Easy your team’s story is very intriguing and inspiring. I really wanted to cover more than a story, and, in a book, you get the chance to tell multiple of stories.

Jen: I like that. But I always think, we’re just Scotland, you know? There are more interesting teams to write about.

Reader: Yes, I get that but it might sound like a stupid reason, but I grew up in Edinburgh, so Scotland is very dear to my heart, also everyone loves the underdog.

Jen: I like that.

Reader: So, what I’m trying to say with this is you can trust me.

Jen: I do. Why would I not trust you with this topic?

Reader: Good point

Jen: See.

Reader: going back to our topic, when and how did you feel when you were getting your first call up for Scotland?

Jen: chuckles Oh that was a long time ago but as a football player you always dream of that call so as you can imagine I was very excited.

Reader: Do you remember that exact moment?

Jen: Yes, I do. I still played for Glasgow, and I almost missed the call because I started at the phone for too long.

Reader: You did?

Jen: Yes, I’m not sure what would have happened if I missed it.

Reader: I guess they would have tried it again.

Jen: Who knows, right?

Reader: I think it was meant to be.

Jen: It probably was. I’m glad I took the call though. It changed a lot for me.

Reader: This must have been a big step forward in your career.

Jen: It is. I don’t know if Arsenal would have wanted me if it hadn’t been for that call.

Reader: but Arsenal did want you. Lily entering the room Oh sorry this is my daughter Lily.

Jen: She’s adorable. Hi Lily.

Lily: Hello, are you mum’s new friend?

Reader: Actually, I’m interviewing Jen for my book.

Jen: But it’s almost something like that.

Reader: True. Can you give me five more minutes, Lil? And when we’ll go to the park to play football like I promised you earlier.

Lily: Okay.

Reader: Thanks love. Sorry, so where were we Jen?

Jen: Uhm.. oh, Arsenal.

Reader: Yes, right, you got the chance to play there.

Jen: I did. Together with my Scotland teammate.

Reader: So, you must have been very young when you made your move to London?

Jen: I was 18.

Reader: Right.

Jen: Kim was 18 too when she moved to London the year before, so I was glad to have her there too.

Reader: That’s really sweet.

Jen: We both were the youngest and now we’re the grandmas.

Reader: protests You’re not grandmas !

Jen: No but we like to joke about it.

Reader: I can see that.

Jen: With all the youngsters here.

Lily: wears a Scotland jersey Mum, I’m ready !

Reader: Shit, the five minutes are over.

Jen: You probably shouldn’t let her wait.

Reader: Sorry, that’s so unprofessional.

Jen: No worries. I understand that.

Reader: Thank you.

Jen: Have fun.

Lily: Do you want to play with us?

Jen: I would love to, but I have training. Another time, I promise.

Lily: Oh okay.

Jen: Lily?

Lily: Yes?

Jen: I mean it.

Lily: I trust you.

Jen: I’ll see you soon.

Reader: Goodbye, Jen. Thank you for taking your time.

Jen: Thank you for inviting me. And don’t forget to call me, so Lily and I can play some football.

Reader: I’ll call you. Promise.

Lily: whispers Mum, she likes you.

Reader: I think she likes you more.

Lily: But she likes you too!

Reader: Do you think so?

Lily: Yes!

Reader: When it must be true.

Lily: Its true.

The London Derby was about to start. The crowd at the Emirates was roaring with excitement. Amazed, you took in the atmosphere from the side of the pitch alongside some of the other jounalists.

Across the grass, you caught Jen’s gaze who was standing next to the tunnel in a big puffer jacket. She subtly waved at you which you answered with a small smile.

Kim Little appeared next to Jen, telling her something with a stern face. You knew the game was about to start so you turned back to your work.

“Has anyone seen Lily? Jen, you were supposed to look after the daughter of your girlfriend. “, Kim scolded Jen on the other side of the pitch. Reluctantly, Jen turned away from you and towards her teammate; “You said you would babysit.“ “After the match! I’m in the starting line up, remember?“, Kim replied, more amused than annoyed.

Laughing, Jen rolled her eyes; “Ugh, show-off.“ Her smaller team mate gave her playfully offended look; “Hey, you’re still talking to your captain here.“ “Yeh, sure. I’ll go find Lily.“, Jen answered with a grin and brushed past Kim into the dressing rooms. “Good!“, the Arsenal captain called after her.

Jen opened the door of the dressing room where the Arsenal players were just getting ready for the important game against Chelsea; “Lil?“ “Here!“, the voice of a child piped up. The little girl waved with one hand from her place between Alessia Russo and Kyra Cooney-Cross. In the other hand, she held a crumbly granola bar. Jen walked towards her, a big grin on her face; “What are you doing here? Having a snack?“

“Yes, Lessie gave me something. And Wally promised to do my hair.“, Lily nodded with pure joy. Jen ruffled her hair; “Lucky girl.“ “Comes from the one who only ever wears a bun on match days.“, Lia laughed while she pushed past Jen and took Kyras place.

Carefully, she started brushing Lilys hair. “It’s the least complicated and most effective hairstyle.“, the Scot defended herself with a shrug. Kim rolled her eyes; “And it makes you even taller than you are.“

With raised eyebrows, Jen made a point to look down at her captain; “How can you even tell that from down there?“ “Rude.“, she replied before turning towards the toddler whose hair was now in a high ponytail, “Lil?“ “Yes?“ “Tell her to stop making fun of small girls.“

Lily nodded determinedly, causing Lia to start over with braiding her little ponytail; “I’ll.“ “We’re done.“, Lia smiled a minute later, satisfied with her finished work. Lily happily jumped up on the bench, standing on her toes to eye her new hairstyle in a mirror. Laughing, Jen picked her up; “Good. Because these girls have to go out and play and important game now.“

“Good luck!”, Lily hummed. Gratefully Lia patted the shoulder of the little girl:” Thank you, Lily.” “Can you give me a hug as an extra motivation?”, Alessia asked her with a big smirk on her face. Enthusiastically Lily nodded, opening her arms up to hug the tall forward:  “Of course.” That sight alone melted Jen’s heart in the blink of an eye.

In her bossy tone which was such a contrast to her relatively smallness Kim clapped motivated into her hands:” Alright girls, time to get out there.” While the playing footballers went on to the field Jen and the toddler took their seats on the bench.

Big eyed Lily pulled on the defender’s jacket: ”Jen?” “Yes?”, attentively the Scottish player put her little hand into hers. Deeply amazed Lily whispered: “This is huge.”  “I know, right?”, Jen solemnly agreed. Not long into the game Beth Mead scored the first goal which made Lily jump from her seat shouting happily:” Yes, Meado!”

“Good job, Beth! She’ll be so happy about that girl.”, the defender commented with a satisfied smile. A bit less enthusiastic the girl added:” Mum told me she had a bad injury.”  “Yes, she didn’t play football for almost one year.”, the Scottish Woman replied seriously.

Quite taken by that she mumbled: “ That’s forever.” “And her girlfriend Viv had the same injury.”, Jen explained the past situation to her.  Moved by those words Lily observed: “That’s not fair.” “No but it happens in football.”, the defender reminded her.

The mood was lightened when the little girl was catching where the older woman’s eyes were wandering:” Jen, you keep staring at mum!” Caught of guard the Arsenal player’s cheek turned red:” I’m not I was just looking if she’s looking.” “Sure.”, Lily giggled.

After the match she ran to Alessia, telling her visibly very animated:” Lessi, your goals were soo cool!” “Thank you, Lily! You were our lucky charm today.”, the forward declared beaming.

After the live recording ended you greeted Jen with a huge grin, while she was wrapping her strong arms around you::” Hi love, did Lil behave?” “You know her of course she did. She’s too focused on the game in front of her.”, the Scottish woman answered cheerfully.

Glad about that news you changed the topic easily: “Good. Remind me, where are you taking me out tonight, again?” “You’ll see when we’re there.”, Jen smiled mysteriously. Excited about what the evening would contain you said: “I’ll be right back I’ll be just saying goodbye to Lily and tell her that it might get a bit later tonight, so she doesn’t need to try to stay awake until we’re back.” “Alright.”, with that word the Arsenal player let go of you for now.

A few minutes prior Kim wanted to know from the toddler:” Have you decided whose jersey you want, Lily?” “Can I have yours?”, she asked innocently. The captain was surprised by that wish:” Mine?” “Yes, please.”, Lily nodded quickly.

Flustered the older woman gave the little girl her jersey:” Oh, sure. Here you go.” “Thank you.”, the toddler gratefully pressed the shirt onto her.  Trying not to show how touched she was Kim waved it off:” You’re welcome.”

Lily was already wearing the oversized jersey when you entered the dressing room. Your daughter happily ran into your arms. You wrapped her into a tight hug while you told her; “Hi Lily, I just wanted to say goodbye for now and that Jen and I’ll be back tonight. But I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun with Kimmy.“

You shared a quick smile with Arsenals team captain. “Okay, have fun, Mum.“, Lily replied, obviously already distracted by what was happening around her in the dressing room. You pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before saying goodbye; “Love you, Lily.“ You could feel your daughters eyes on you while you caught up Jen outside.

Kim realized that Lily was confused by the situation so she kneeled down in front of the toddler; “Tell me, Lily, what do you want to eat now?“ “Can we eat pizza?“, the little girl asked with big eyes.

While Kim nodded, Leah Williamson joined the conversation; “Can we join the pizza party?“ “Please?“, Laura Wienroither added, her facial expression almost identical to Lilys. Kim nodded with a sigh before turning back the toddler; “Sure. How about we make our own pizzas, Lily?“ “Yes!“ “Alright, let’s go.“, the captain decided and got up to grab her bag. She took Lilys hand in hers while Leah and Laura followed them.

At Kims home, they immediately got to work, making small individual pizzas. “I’m jealous. Yours and Kims pizza looks so good.“, Leah complained, eyeing the ham and mozzarella pizza that Kim just took out of the oven. “It’s because Lily and I are a good team.“, she replied, holding up her hand for Lily to high-five. “True.“, the little girl agreed.

Laura laughed; “Not bad, Little team.“ “Thanks.“, Kim said, only partly annoyed by the pun. Excitedly, Leah took her pizza out of the oven next; “Time to eat our pizzas.“ But there was a loud bang that told everyone in the room that Leahs pizza did not even make it to the table. “Oh no.“ “Leah!“, Lily yelled, amused by the mess the tomato sauce and hot cheese made on the tile floor. “Yeah, I know, very funny.“, the defender sighed.

Kim immediately turned back to the kitchen table; “It’s okay, we can make a new one.“ “Lee, you can have a bit of mine.“, Lily offered, gently pushing a piece of pizza towards the defender. Gratefully, Leah picked it up and took a bite; “Thank you, Lily, you’re very sweet.“ “You don’t need to tell her that, she knows.“, Kim grinned while making more pizza. “Still. She shared her pizza with me!“

Finally, the captain admitted; “Yes, okay, it’s cute.“ “See, that’s adorable.“, Leah said. Laura disrupted their conversation, pointing towards the toddler; “Oh my god, girls. She fell asleep with her head next to her plate.“

A soft smile appeared on Kims lips as she watched the child sleep, a piece of pizza still in her tiny hand; “I think it was a long day for her. Winning against Chelsea is exhausting.“ “Very true.“, Leah agreed with a laugh. Carefully, Kim picked the girl up; “I’ll bring her to bed.“ “Good night, Lil.“, Laura whispered. Lily blinked tiredly and yawned against Kims shoulder; “Nighty.“

Meanwhile, you looked at your surroundings being in awe of the restaurant your girlfriend chose:” Jen, this is so fancy here.” “I told you; I’d take you somewhere nice.”, the Arsenal player replied with a warm smile.  Proudly she kept holding your hand until you reached your table and took a seat each. “Yes, you weren’t lying about you.”, you had to admit delighted.

In an honest tone she stated: “As much as I love Lily, you also deserve to be treated to something nice.” “She loves you too, in her kindergarten she refers to you as her mum.”, you confessed, cheeks flushing. Surprised but flattered Jen asked:” She does?” “Yes.”, you nodded cautiously, unsure if this information was too much for your girlfriend.  

The defender let out a shaky breath: “Wow.” “Sorry, if that was too much.”, you stammered an apology. Immediately she reassured you:” No, I like that.” “Anything you would recommend from the menu?”, you tried to lighten up the mood, but the football player was taking your hand meaning you to pause for a second.

Softly the Scottish woman said:” Love..”  “Yes?”, you looked up to her, your free hand was nervously putting a loose string of your hair behind your ear. A deep sigh escaped Jen’s lips, before she confessed: “I want to be honest with you. I never wanted to be a mum; it just wasn’t one of my life goals like it is for other women. But I’d love nothing more than being Lily’s mum.”  

“You’re already a great one.”, you confirmed visibly moved by her words. Equally touched Jen answered: “Thanks. That means a lot.” Because words couldn’t encompass how much her confession meant to you, you kissed her, hoping the kiss could encompass everything you felt in that moment. “I love you.”, the Arsenal player whispered. “I love you too.”  Her voice was filled with gratitude:” I’m so glad you were writing that book.” “It’s coming out soon.”, you announced happily.

Hopefully Jen wanted to know: “Can I read it first?” “Of course, I’ll leave you a copy on your nightstand.”, you promised her excited. A bright grin was on your girlfriend’s face: “Thank you. I can’t wait to read it.”  “I hope you and the team will like it.”, you bit your lip.  “I’m sure we will.” From that on you two had a very pleasant date night.

After the dinner you gratefully greeted Kim in her home:” Hi Kim, thanks for watching after Lily.”  “You’re welcome. She was really tired and already fell asleep at dinner.”, the Arsenal Captain told you. Understandingly you nodded:” To be fair it was a long, exciting day for her.” “That’s true. I hope you had a good date night.”, Kim smiled at you both. Beaming Jen replied:“ We did.” “That’s good.”, the midfielder seemed pleased by the happy faces in front of her.

“Mums?“, Lilys voice interrupted your small talk. The little girl stumbled into your direction, her eyes were barely open. “Yes?“, Jen answered. “You’re back.“, your daughter yawned. You crouched down, your arms outstretched and Lily let herself against your chest. “We are.“, you confirmed as you carefully picked her up. Jen reached over, ruffling the little girls hair; “Yes, and we’re going home now.“ “Okay.“, Lily mumbled, almost asleep again. Jen chuckled quietly; “She is so cute.“

You said your goodbyes to Kim and made your way back home. You placed the sleeping Lily in her bed, carefully tucking her in and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead; “Good night, Lil.“ “I think she had fun today.“, Jen commented from where she leaned on the door frame. You grinned; “Yes, they had pizzas together.“

“Oh, Kim just texted.“, Jen said in surprise. You watched her read something on her phone; “What did she write?“ “That she hopes we got Lily home without waking her up.“, your girlfriend summarized the message quickly. You shrugged; “Kind of. She’s asleep now.“

With a smile on your lips, you took Jens phone out of her hand to snap a photo of your daughter, fast asleep with her favourite plushie in her arm. Grinning, Jen followed up her message to Kim with the photo while you both left Lilys room. “She and the girls seem to like being aunties.“, Jen thought out loud. You nodded happily; “They do. Even though Kim always pretends to be annoyed when you ask her to babysit.“ “Yes, but she secretly loves it.“, Jen replied with a laugh. “Oh yes.“, you agreed while you both slipped into your bed.

Only as your head hit your pillow, you realized how tired you were. Yawning, Jen slipped an arm around your waist and gently kissed your neck once. Just before you two were about to fall asleep, Jens phone screen lit up again.

As she held up the phone and blinked against the brightness of the screen, you caught a glimpse of the message. It was from Kim, reading; “Haven’t seen you that happy in a long time. You deserve this, Jen.“ You could feel a smile spread on your face, similar to the one on your girlfriends and you couldn’t deny that you felt a little bit honoured by that message.

Jen put her phone back on the nightstand and pulled you closer to her. You both didn’t need any words to express how right it felt to be there in each others arms.

[astraaa3]

Yandere Lucifer and GN!Reader headCanon

A/N: Thank you for the request Anon. I absolutely loved writing thisss. Kisses and hugs. Feedback is much appreciated. Also, if you want to proofread this degeneracy that I write please feel free to shoot me a dm. Mwah. Now, let's get this bitch on the road.

Yandere!Lucifer X Gn!Reader

Note: The first few ideas/phrases/headcanons whatever you want to call them might not seem like straight-up Yandere behavior, but it will get there. Lucifer doesn't seem like the type to instantly go full "You're mine, you're not allowed to leave". You'll see what I mean by that~ Cw/tw: yandere behavior (obviously), given the first warning possessive and obsessive behavior are a given so keep an eye out for that as well; threats of violence; actual violence; 

=========꧁🍏꧂=========

Initially, you came to the Hazbin Hotel out of pure curiosity and boredom. You didn't actually think that sinners could get redeemed. After all, everyone here had their chance of leading a righteous life. That said, you ended up staying at the Hotel. Whether it was because of the Princess' puppy eyes that basically begged you to remain, or whether it was because you found yourself actually enjoying the company of the residents, you still didn't know why for sure. 

It was a few weeks into your stay at the hotel when you first met Lucifer. It was apparently the first time Charlie saw her father in quite a while as well. 

After Lucifer spent some (much-needed) father-daughter time with Charlie, he found himself at the bar right next to you. He was immediately taken aback by your looks. The two of you quickly found yourselves making some small talk. As most talks over a drink go, the topics took a deeper turn after a while, when Lucifer asked you "Do you really believe sinners can be redeemed?"

You smiled looking into your drink as if it could give you the words you couldn't find within yourself. Finishing your drink in one big gulp, you stood up, looking at Lucifer with a small smile: "Not really, no. But I think that if anyone can find a way to do it... it's Charlie" With that you left. Unknowingly leaving behind you a flustered King of Hell.

Since that discussion Lucifer found himself entranced by you. He analyzed everything about you. From the way your nose scrunched up with laughter whenever you were genuinely laughing, to the way you walked (he could already tell how you were feeling based solely on the way you stepped). 

He made sure to bring you your favorite drink whenever you felt down, coaxing you into telling him whatever made you upset over a drink (or more than a drink if you didn't feel particularly sharing in regards to what made you upset).

And well, if it was someone that upset you, that person would find themselves on Lucifer's radar. (and if their bodies turned up later on, well, it's not like he would ever let you find out; he didn't want to risk losing your favor)

You found Lucifer's unyielding pursuit of finding everything about you to be quite cute. Yeah, maybe it was a bit over the top and spiraling out of control, but the silly crush you had developed for the King of Hell was jumping up and down with joy whenever you had his attention.

The first time Lucifer's possessive side came out you were arguing with another sinner in the Hotel's lobby. The sinner was some runt who thought he would be able to get his hands on Angel Dust if he stayed in the hotel. Having grown fond of the resident porn star you defended your friend giving the sinner a verbal lashing. Lucifer just watched on amused and annoyed (that your attention was not on him) his love-sick smile turning into an enraged frown when the sinner proposed that the two of you "made love instead of war". HOW FUCKING DARE HE. Not only did he dare look at what belonged to the King of Hell. Not only did he dare to imply defiling your precious innocent body. He dared to utter the word 'love' while looking at you. 

Lucifer's patience snapped and with a snap of his fingers, a portal opened beneath the sinner's feet teleporting him high up in the sky on the other side of the Pentagram. You looked shocked at Lucifer. Seeing him angry on your behalf... It was hot. 

That night was one of the many the two of you found yourselves falling into bed together, soon after making your relationship official.

As days passed, Lucifer started making more and more odd requests: "My love, could you please tell me whenever you leave the hotel?", "You should leave some of your clothes over at my place, for simplicity's sake." , "Could you please stop talking to (Friend Name)? I... think they may be harboring feelings for you. I think I actually heard them admit to that once. I'm sorry if I'm overreacting but since Lilith left me....", "Darling, I know we haven't dated for long, but I would love it if you were to move in. I know you love the hotel, but I want to make sure you are safe. No? I... alright. We'll talk about it later, it's going to be ok". 

The moment that made you realize that Lucifer's obsession was more serious than you thought was after the battle against Adam and the exorcist angels. You got hurt in the chaos of the battle. It was just a stab wound, but when Lucifer saw it, he flipped. With a serious tone, he looked at you, a crazed look in his eyes: "You are going to make a contract with me. You are going to give your soul to me. I will not hear any objections. You clearly can't take care of yourself. So, do we have a deal?"

You reflexively nodded out of fear, having not seen your lover so serious.... so obsessed.... so possessive. This was the first time you looked at Lucifer and saw The King of Hell, the Devil from the Bible. As he gently took your hand shaking it he smiled, the crazed look never leaving his eyes, he cupped your face gently "It's going to be alright, my love, I will take care of everything. I will make sure that you never need for anything. And you will never leave me, after all, you are the apple of my eye." 

=========꧁🍏꧂=========

Small prompt: After the deal 

It has been two months since you moved in with Lucifer. Your lover wouldn't take no for an answer. And well, you couldn't really say no to him anyway.... After the initial apprehension ended, you fell into a domestic routine with Lucifer: he would coax you to wake up with small kisses peppered across your face, kisses which turned into full-blown sleepy make-out sessions the moment you were awake; afterward, he would make breakfast for the two of you (the duck-shaped pancakes being your favorite); then, the two of you would go to the Hotel to check up on everyone or whatever else the two of you felt like doing; at the end of the day you would take a bath with Lucifer as he would make love to you, your body warm and soft from the hot water; you ended the day with a kiss. The next day it was the same routine. And the next. And the next. 

Wherever you went, whatever you did, Lucifer was there with you. Initially, you were bothered by it, feeling like your privacy was forcefully taken from you. But as Lucifer whispered sweet nothings into your ear, as he would hug you to his chest proclaiming his love for you, as he would make love to you cradling your face and telling you that you're his... You slowly forgot what it was like to have time alone. 

When you first realized how much of your time Lucifer monopolized you tried going on a walk alone. That was the first time since the deal when you saw Lucifer get truly angry. Golden chains wrapped around your body, you were tied to your bed, his smile overly sweet as he caressed your face: "You see how easy it is for someone to just kidnap you? What if someone tried doing something to you, my love? You are so weak and pure, I can't let those dirty sinners touch or even glance at you. Now then, you can play with the duckies while I make sure that no one who saw you today sees the light of day again." with that, he kissed your lips sweetly before leaving you there tied to the bed, with a rubber duck on your chest.

After that, you never tried leaving again, too afraid that maybe your lover's ire will turn to you this time around. But Lucifer would never. He loved you, obsessively so. Maybe... it wasn't that bad letting him lock you away in the gilded cage you called home. After all, did you really need anything else when you already had him?

[hunterwritings]

𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 | 𝐥𝐢𝐧 𝐤𝐮𝐞𝐢 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐨

request: "Hello, can you write headcannons on the reader taking the Lin Kuei trio to the movies as a date?" warnings: none | notes: maybe a bit ooc? also was very tired while writing this so maybe some writing mistakes

→ 𝐁𝐢-𝐡𝐚𝐧

Bi-han is most certainly not a movie guy.

I believe he would lean towards more 'traditional' dates, like going out to dinner or late night walks.

Being the grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, he wouldn't have a whole lot of time for dates. He might also think they are a waste of time most of the time, he thinks there are better ways to show his love for you. But the few times he will initiate dates, he wants it to be somewhere remote, where it is only the two of you. Bi-han has a hard time showing his emotions, and an even harder time saying them, so he prefers to be alone with you to fully express his love.

When you give the idea of going to the movies with him, he is initially against it. He doesn't have a whole lot of movies or films that he is fond of, mostly because he thinks that it is useless fiction.

You are finally able to convince him tag along with you, convincing him that the movie you are going to see would have many fight scenes and said that the two of you could critique them together. You knew that was something you could draw him in with.

You planned a day you knew there wouldn't be many people in the theater so Bi-han wouldn't feel the need to be anxious or tense. You got decent seats in the middle of the theater.

He kept his rough hand over your own the entire time, squeezing it tightly. It was almost a security blanket for him, knowing that you were here and weren't leaving.

He paid close attention to the movie, actually getting quite interested, looking down at you a couple times with your head leaning on his chest.

Once you leave, Bi-han would be talking about the movie on the walk home, criticizing how the characters acted and none of the fight scenes would actually play out that way. Even though he was critiquing it, you knew he actually payed attention and wanted to express his thoughts with you.

→ 𝐊𝐮𝐚𝐢 𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐠

Kuai Liang thinks that movies are such a fun experience

He loves watching action-comedies with you. He also just loves the idea of being comfy and relaxing with you. Anything that involved him and you just being able to enjoy each other's presence was something he absolutely fawned over.

You told him you had this idea to go see a new adventure style comedy movie and he was filled with excitement. He will stand at the concession stand for a while until he knew that the two of you had everything you needed before watching the movie.

Always on time, usually even early so he can get snacks before the movie starts. He wants to make sure everything is perfect for you so that you can relax and be the most comfortable. Kuai Liang is always going to go out of his way to do the absolute best for you, no matter what it is. You are a god/goddess to him and he would worship you any chance he gets.

Gets really into the movie and the plot line. If you really enjoyed the movie as he did, you two will talk for hours on different parts you enjoyed and how you hope there will be another one.

On your walk home, he will tightly hold your hand while thanking you multiple times for being able to bring him along to the movies and saying how he will never get tired of going out with you. Kuai Liang will pour his heart out to you over and over again until he is drowning you in kisses from the top of your head to your collarbone.

→ 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬

This man adores movies with you.

To be fair, Tomas adores doing almost anything with you. Any sort of outing with just the two of you makes him so happy, as if he couldn't ask for anything else.

Will watch any type of movie with you: comedy, romance, action, horror, etc.

would 100% watch Johnny Cage movies

Once you asked him to go the movies with you, his face lit up and he immediately accepted.

Will plan the entire day around you going to the movies. He will plan a lunch/dinner to go out with you before going to the movies and then would buy a handful of sweets for both you and himself from the movies concession stand. Once the movie would start, Tomas would be leaning down to your ear to comment on anything interesting he'd see in the movie or something he would laugh at with you.

Would have his arm slung around you, either around your shoulders or draped across your waist so that he could hold onto you while he looked up at the movie screen. He'd be smiling and smirking at you every couple of minutes and leaning in to press a kiss to the top of your head.

Wants to go see every new movie with you and will buy tickets early to secure seats for new and upcoming movies.

[blissfullyecho]

how to study + become a better college student

*i’m in nursing school for reference*

before classes/school:

#1. eat a good, hearty breakfast. i cannot concentrate when i’m hungry because i think about lunch or having a snack. i like to carb up for breakfast (carbs give you energy) and have things like pancakes, french toast, bagels, etc., as well as protein (because that keeps you full) like eggs, turkey bacon, yogurt, etc. i like to take a green powder or a multivitamin during this time to give my body what it needs so that i can function for the rest of the day too.

#2. i always bring water with me to class so that i can concentrate and not think about how thirsty i am. it’s super important to stay hydrated so come prepared.

#3. i know the lesson plan and what’s going to be talked about each day, and if your classes are run like that too, read the chapter or look over whatever it is you’re going to look over today in class to give you a general idea of what you’re going to learn today. this will help you feel like you’re one step ahead (which you are).

#4. wake up early enough to be relaxed in the morning. every time i didn’t perform my best in school was when i woke up and immediately rushed to get ready for class and not took the time to allow myself to ‘wake up’. your mornings should be chill, not a race against the clock.

during classes/school:

#1. actually jot down notes— do not rely on just using your phone to take pictures of the board/powerpoint. when you write your notes down, you get a chance to get that information stuck in your head. what i do if my instructor goes too fast on the powerpoints is: i take a picture of the powerpoint, then i write down what she/he says, then when i get home i rewrite what i took a picture of and the notes that i took in class (i’ll talk about this later).

#2. ask questions— who cares if you’re shy or whatever. asking questions will allow you to be more engaged and it shows your professors/instructors/teachers that you actually care (and they might even bump some grades up for you if you show you’ve taken initiative and tried). every question you ask, write your question down and their response in your notes. i’m telling you, this has helped so much and it gives you such a good look.

#3. use your lunch break for what it is— a break. 30 minutes isn’t a lot of time for an 8 hour day so actually rest and enjoy your lunch during this time. you need a chance to reset.

#4. if you can, always ask to review your tests with your professors/instructors. see what you got wrong and talk it through with them. in nursing school, we generally aren’t able to see what we got wrong on our exams and tests without our professor being there to review them with us. please do this.

#5. use a 1 subject notebook for each class and have pens/pencils that you only use for class. your notes in class should be legible but not super pretty. make your notes pretty at home, not in class.

#6. when taking a test, go over the questions and answers before turning in. there have been so many times i read a question too quickly and changed my answer and i ended up being correct when i looked it over again. don’t make those dumb mistakes.

#7. befriend the other students who do really well in the class. seriously, this will save you.

after classes/school:

#1. when you get home from school, unwind for an hour. take a shower, go to the gym, do whatever you want to do to allow yourself to relax and unwind. you need to take another break after school to regroup and to find a little bit of balance.

#2. review the notes you took in class that day and the pictures you took of the board, and rewrite your notes in a different notebook. so i suggest 2 notebooks for each class— one for your sloppy in-class notes and another for your pretty and organized notes. rewriting your notes will allow your brain to help retain that information.

#3. spend some time each day after rewriting your notes to watch a few videos on youtube about that topic. for nursing school, i like to look at 1-3 videos about what we’re learning to get a wider understanding.

#4. on the weekends, i like to spend 1-2, sometimes 3 hours each day reviewing everything i learned that week. i will watch more videos, i will read over my notes, and i will also create flashcards with my own practice questions in regards to the notes i take and quiz myself with those cards.

[maximumzombiecreator]

Heya, you made a post recently about players getting the wrong expectations from AP podcasts for their own performance and experiences in D&D. The way you described it was almost exactly like something I recently saw at the table, complete with the getting into their own head and thrown off from unexpected interactions and then frustrated. Do you have any advice on how to deprogram, so to say, someone from this mind set and help them enjoy their time with the game more? Apologies if this is something you already wrote about and I just missed it

I ended up writing like 1500 words on this so let me put it under the cut.

So, there are a couple different approaches to this that I think work. The first, if they're willing to play a different RPG, is to play something with a different "play posture." That is, rather than playing a game where the players have a single PC over whom they have agency and nothing else, play a game that is more collaborative or where a player is expected to control multiple characters. For instance, I like introducing players like this to Blades in the Dark, where I'll have every player make two characters in the crew to begin with, and the core mechanic of flashbacks encourages players to take a greater amount of narrative control. I find this pushes them far enough outside their expectations that they're forced to take it on its own merits, and this helps them develop a more at-the-table style of play. Then when they take that back to more trad-style games, they can use the skills they developed and find a greater comfort level.

That said, playing another, stranger game after getting frustrated at their first game is a lot to ask of someone, so it's not at all something I'd take for granted.

In terms of helping at the table, the first thing is to recognize when it's happening. I tend to ask new players to my table what TTRPG experience they have, and one very big reason is that if someone is coming mainly from actual plays, I know to watch out for this.

What I try to do when this happens is pull back the abstraction level and talk about what's happening in a "discussing the characters" way. In particular, what I am most looking to avoid is making the player feel embarassed. That can make them defensive and blame others, or it can make them spiral and want to quit, it's a terrible feeling. So, for some specific examples of things I'll notice and ways to respond:

If the player is freezing - I'll pause the active roleplay, briefly summarize the current situation, and ask how their character is feeling. "So, Alice sort of came into this conversation expecting to bond with Bob, and got a lot of, I think, unexpected hostility back. What's Alice feeling in that moment?" By describing the situation, I am helping to clarify to all players what the current scene looks like. Maybe Bob's player doesn't realize that he's responding to a friendly overture by being a huge dick. Alice's player might be freezing because she came into this with a scene idea that isn't happening, but by making clear what the current scene is and asking her feelings, I'm giving her a chance to make a character choice even if she doesn't instinctively know how to turn that into a productive scene. Even if she decides Alice is feeling like "I want out of this conversation" I can then frame that as creating a tension between these two characters going forward. My goal is, basically, to frame this as a successful scene, just not the one Alice's player planned. To be clear that she didn't fail at making a roleplay scene, she succeeded, it just wasn't the scene she expected.

If the player is getting frustrated - I'll usually try to tweak their out of character frustration into in character frustration. Pulling back to discuss the scene again, I'll say something like, "So, Charlie is really stonewalling Alice here, not giving her any information, and it seems like Alice is getting frustrated by that. What does that look like, what does she do?" Again, describing the situation sets a ground level clarification for all players, but it also lets Alice's player save face. She's not getting frustrated, her character is, and that's good drama! It also gives me the chance to cut the scene short if it's not going to be productive. I can turn to Charlie's player and say, "So, seeing Alice react that way, does Charlie respond any differently, or is he gonna keep stonewalling her?" And if the answer is the latter, I can tie a neat little bow on the scene and move on. Once again, I'll frame this as a successful scene, as establishing a future drama.

If the player is shutting down - I'll look to give them an outlet for their desire to play their character, but ideally one that they don't expect. Come to them proactively with a roleplay scene that they can respond to. If I'm playing with players I know well, I'll usually have one or two I know can be prompted to be an accomplice in this. In a moment of downtime, I'll ask Alice's player what Alice is doing, and then prompt the other player. "Dan, you notice Alice getting pretty deep into her cups, she seems troubled, what do you do?" I may need to nudge Alice's player a few times in this scene, if she's really shutting down, but I find for these players asking the one-two combo of "What are they feeling?" and "What does that look like?" gives enough to keep things moving. If I don't have an accomplice I can trust in the party, I'll try to do the same with an NPC. In this case, I do feel I need to keep things shorter, but it's vital to keep the player from detaching entirely because things aren't going how they'd like. If I'm doing it with an NPC, I'll try to create a specific unusual context to give the player something to respond to. It won't be an NPC coming to them to ask, "hey buddy how ya feelin'?" it'll be the barkeep asking for a hand moving some huge kegs, or a travelling scholar asking for directions, and sharing some philosophical musings, or whatever. I'm looking to pitch them a softball, but one they haven't already formed an opinion on. I'm trying to get them used to roleplay as listening and responding.

If the player is doing alright, but demotivated by things not going how they want - I'll try to catch this at the end of the session with a bit of retrospective. I'll call out a scene they were in that didn't go how they wanted, praise some specific aspect of what each character did in the scene, and ask how they felt about it, and what they think their characters will do going forward. "That scene where Alice went to try and talk to Eve about the heist plans, I love how Alice is watching the other characters and picking up on their skills. Eve's response was kind of unhinged but in a really interesting way, I feel like it comes through that she's a bit unstable. How were each of your characters feeling about that interaction? Do you think they'll approach each other differently after that?" I want to place attention and importance on scenes that might feel like treading water, and to make them into narrative fodder that the player is going to reflect on, rather than dismissing as being bad or wrong.

All these also apply if it's a scene with an NPC they're having issues with, except that I am usually more malleable to adjust my reactions if I feel it's appropriate, or to clarify where the NPC is coming from if I think the NPC's reaction shouldn't change. Overall, I'm really trying to coax my Alice into a place of understanding that scenes that don't go they way she wants are still great, honestly even better, because the chaos and variety of play, the unexpected responses, are what make TTRPG storytelling good. I want her to feel like she didn't play wrong because things didn't go like she wanted, and neither did the other players, and to teach her to respond and react to the unexpected.

All of this, of course, comes with the caveat that this is what works if the player is otherwise fine, but a bit actual play-brained. A fairly frequent comorbidity, however, is the player with main character syndrome, whose frustration comes in part from everything not warping around them and the other players not being wowed by their cool, badass character. When this happens, I have less success deprogramming people (and honestly, less energy to commit to managing their play experience), but it's still possible. The biggest thing I'd add, in this case, is that I will really try to frame my prompts in such a way as to encourage Main Character Alice to appreciate the other characters more. Rather than just asking her how Alice is feeling, I'll specifically ask about how Alice is perceiving and responding to the other characters, and make her spotlight more dependent on reacting to other PCs. This can go badly, if she reacts to other PCs by belittling them or otherwise sucking, but once that happens it becomes a "talk about it out of play" issue entirely and I don't think there's any point addressing in game.

[wowbright]

I never want to discourage anyone from commenting on fanfics that they enjoy when they want to share their appreciation with fanfic authors.

At the same time, I cannot convey how discouraging it is to me, as an author, to get comments on years-old fanfic that basically do nothing but tell me that I'm doing storytelling wrong. I have one story in particular where the character has a limited point of view and interprets a common phenomenon differently than many people who live in our real world interpret it. But this is intentional! It's an illustration of the character's thinking and point of view. But instead of people trusting that I might know what I'm doing, I *to this day* get comments from people who have never left a nice word on my fanfic about "well, apparently you don't know this, but actually, that's not the way the world works." And like, if they kept reading the story, maybe they would realize that the decision was intentional? But no, they feel the need to make the comment right off the bat. I mean, just *asking* me if the decision was intentional instead of telling me that I'm wrong would be an improvement. It would give me a chance to clarify, and if there is actually something in my writing I could change to make it clear that this is the character's point of view and not intended to be a representation of the real world, we could have that discussion and maybe I would improve as a writer in the future. But instead I get these discouraging "corrections" that really don't leave a lot of room for dialogue--because at this point I've gotten so tired of them that I just don't approve the comments. And a thing that could have become a dialogue and perhaps even a fandom friendship gets aborted right off the bat, because (even if it wasn't meant that way) it comes across as an intentionally bad-faith reading and, honestly, I don't want to form community with people who read things in bad faith.

(Now, if I already know you and you say something like this, I might find it discouraging but I will also know you're not acting in bad faith, so we can recover from it. But if you just randomly alight on people's fanfic to tell them they're doing it wrong, you're not going to get any sense of community out of fandom.)

On another note, this might be a good reason for well intentioned commenters to keep commenting on old fanfic! Because at this point I would say the majority of comments I get on that old fanfic are "correction" ones. Since the fanfic still gets kudos, I assume there are people still reading it and enjoying it, but I hear less from them. So if nothing else, leaving a kind comment, even something as little as a ❤️, on an old fanfic can help buffer authors against the negative comments they may continue to receive on that fic.

(And just because you don't see any negative comments in the comment section doesn't mean they aren't receiving them. On AO3 and many other platforms, authors can delete or screen out comments--so they could have received them but aren't letting them show up in their comments section.)

[rrenzwrld]

if you catch my drift…

in which you have a crush on mighty football player! reiner and sasha tries to help you out with it — might make it into a series idk 🤷🏽‍♀️

ik it’s been a few days, but i wanted to mix it up a bit by writing something about reiner <3 i hope you enjoy!

Reiner Braun was a fairly big guy, both inside and out. He used his strong and burly figure to be a part of the college football team and help out with his family’s construction business whenever her came home for the weekend. He had big hands, that he used to do those construction jobs and got frustrated with them when he had to use them to work on smaller projects in his life. And he also had big heart, which he used to allow people to take advantage of him once they got pass the intimidation of his size. And not to mention that he was absolutely gorgeous to look at.

The people that knew him would describe him as some kind of big teddy bear. He was scary to encounter just because of his towering height or the fact that he looked angry all the time, but if someone got him to laugh, smile, or fall in love, he was the absolute sweetest. You of all people knew that because he was in love with you. Because he was in love with you and all things you, you were the person he was most sweetest to. The only downside to his love was that you didn’t know about it, you just thought he was being nice to you as one of his friends.

“Girl take the hint, that man is in love with you!” Sasha tried to drill into your brain for the hundredth time this year. You wanted to believe it, you really did. You even had your own little mini fantasies about how it’d feel to be his but in your mind there was no way he was in love with you over some thin, prissy white girl. Besides, you never saw him look your way so you pretended not to look his way.

You rolled your eyes and continued typing way on your laptop. “I wish..” You mumbled. You did get a bit sad as you thought about it some more. As cool as it’d be to imagine being his girlfriend, going on dates, kissing him, hugging him, and other things, you didn’t think it’d be real life if that actually happened to you.

“I say you should try shooting your shot. What’s the worse that could happen?” You turned to her.

“I get my heart broken and give up on love forever. And besides, everyone knows that dating athletes is a bad idea anyways.” Sasha shakes her head in annoyance as you tried to justify your reasoning to not take a chance at getting with your dream guy.

“Well if you won’t do it, I will— look! there he goes now..” You thought Sasha was playing with you like normal but when you looked towards the entrance to the library, there he was. All handsome in his sweats and jacket. ‘He wore a beanie today’ you thought to yourself and your heart softened at the sight.

“Sasha, don’t do no stupid shit—“

“Too late. Reiner!” He didn’t hear her at first because he had headphones in but he took them off after Sasha yelled his name another four times.

“Oh my god..” You groaned as you tried to do the rest of your work and pretend to be completely unaware that Reiner was on his way to where you were.

“Hey, Reiner~” Sasha cooed and you mentally cringed in your head.

“Hey, um.. you need something?”

“Nope, just wanted to say hi. And I think Y/n wanted to say hi too. Say hi to Reiner, Y/n!” You looked up for a second and waved quickly before narrowing your eyes back down at your screen. He didn’t even have enough time to wave back.

“She seems.. busy.” A small frown crept onto his face but he hoped it wasn’t noticeable. He was kinda sad that you didn’t really seemed to be bothered with him right now, but he just blamed it on the fact that you were busy. So he figured he should just leave you alone.

“I’m gonna go… Bye, Sash.”

Sasha made sure he left for sure before speaking “That was your chance~!” She held onto your shoulders and shook them as she whined.

“Chance at what?” Your words were bumped over with each shake Sasha gave you.

“To talk to him at least!”

She stopped shaking you. “I do talk to him!”

“Yeah right! You two need to have a serious conversation. Like share your traumatic experiences or something to get closer.” You hated to admit it, but Sasha was right. You hadn’t talked to Reiner and when you did, it was always kinda awkward. He’d act weird around you so that’s why you thought that what Sasha was trying to imply was complete bullshit. But in her defense, you could be a little dense.

“Doubt that’ll work.”

“You two are gonna be together, trust.” Sasha declared as she gathered up her things and swung her bag over her shoulder. When Sasha wanted something to happen, best believe that she’ll find a way to make it happen and that’s what worried you.

[mythunderstorm]

Let you go | MV1

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

summary: despite breaking up with you years ago, it seems like Max‘ still can’t forget about the time you shared.

warnings: short mention of J*s Verstappen, not really an happy ending but still sweet? idk

Normally I don’t write in first person but idk, just wanted to try something so enjoy some (short) heartbreak from Max‘ pov while I mentally prepare myself for the singapore gp lol

masterlist

It had been years since we broke up. Maybe five or even six, I think. Highschool sweethearts. Unbelievably in love but sadly not meant to last. I haven’t seen you since graduation, you going to university, I fulfilled my dream.

That‘s why this is the last place I ever expected to see you again - at one of my races. I remember that smile, that silky hair, those bright eyes, still the same from those years ago.

Just.. you.

You look a little lost, like you’re not exactly sure where to go or what to do. I was the one ending things. My career got more serious, I told you my attention should be a 100% on racing now. I told you what my father told me. I‘m sure you know my dad had something to do with the break up but you never dared to actually ask. I wouldn’t have told you the truth, anyway.

My eyes are entirely focused on you and then your eyes met mine. You realize you‘ve been caught. I notice you're with a friend, maybe even a new relationship. Regardless, seeing you brought back many bitter memories and feelings. I look forward, determined to ignore you, ignoring the part of my soul still in love with you.

I wonder if you sometimes wonder what would have happened if I never ended things with you. Because I certainly do. Would we still be together now? Or would it have ended one way or another?

I wonder if you still miss me, or if there's still any room for love in your heart. Because despite all the time that has passed, I love you. More than you know.

I can see you look up at the podium, proud but sad at the same time. I actually archived my dreams. The ones I told you about all the time while we were teenagers. The whole reason why I broke up with you in the first place. I did it. But sadly, not with you by my side.

It was heartbreaking. I still loved you deeply and after today, I wonder what might have been, if I made a mistake all those years ago.

Bullshit. I know I made a mistake that night. Ever since, your eyes kept me up at night.

I had to try and forget you, but that was much easier said than done. I missed the warmth of your eyes, your warm comforting touch. I missed your sweet voice and laugh. I missed everything about you.

Would you ever talk to me again, if you had the chance? I would want to talk to you. I‘m sure you miss me, even if it’s just a little bit. I was always good at reading your expressions.

But I am not the same guy you used to date in highschool. I’m not sure if I’m still the kind, caring Max you met and fell in love with. Because I don’t think I am that person anymore.

But I wonder the same about you. If you’re still the same caring, kind and friendly person you used to be. But I’m sure you are. You are perfect.

Even in the depths of our break up, no one else could replace you, and I think I'd known that back when we were together. It was impossible to not love you. Your presence alone made me feel like I had wings.

I look back at the late nights you sneaked me into your bedroom. Trying to keep your giggles at bay, getting lost in my eyes.

I miss those late nights we spent together and all the times we snuck around for that quick kiss or touch.

I miss holding your hand secretly underneath the table in the geography class we had together.

I miss holding you closely and feeling the heat of your body.

But most of all, I miss the warm touch of those lips. I wonder if they still taste and feel the same.

Oh what I’d give to kiss you again. Only once. If only you knew the feelings I felt for you. How the mere thought of your fingers on my skin or your voice whispering in my ear made my world stop.

I miss those long and tight hugs, I miss holding you in my arms as if I never wanted to let you go as I kissed your neck.

Oh god, I wish I was down there right now, next to you.

You smile at me and I ask myself if you’re bathing in memories and sorrow just like me. You throw one last glance at me, full of love but full of despair. Like you’re face is trying to say that you’ll always love me endlessly but it just wasn’t meant to be.

I look up and our eyes meet once again, though I know it is for one final goodbye. My heart beats faster as I look down at you from the podium and see this smile on your face. That smile I fell in love with so many years ago. I can't believe you've always lived in my heart, this entire time.

And now I let you go.

Or at least, I try.

[lizard-on-a-window-pane]

So i was hoping to request for trope tuesday. I was thinking grumpy reader x sunshine sirius and like kinda 10 things I hate about you type storyline but obviously in your own way of course. :)

happy trope tuesday! omg i kind of adored this request, so i got a bit carried away; i hope it's not too long... it ended up being very 10 things i hate about you inspired but i just love that movie and it just kind of flowed that way... hope you enjoy!!

for my 250 Followers Writing Event!

Tropey Tuesday 🎭 trope: grumpy x sunshine, enemies to lovers-ish

pairing: Sirius Black x reader

word count: 5.9k

“C’mon, Pads, pleaaase,” James pleads for the millionth time that morning. “No. Can’t you just drop it yet? You’re starting to seriously get on my nerves,” Sirius replies, flicking ashes off his cigarette and taking another drag. 

“Fucking hell. What are friends for then, huh? If not to have your back in the darkest of times?” he accuses. 

“I’d hardly call taking Evans out the ‘darkest of times,’ you drama queen. I mean, you are a pretty dull date, Prongs, but don’t be so hard on yourself.” “Hilarious,” he deadpans. “But the point is there isn’t going to be a date unless her sister goes too. Their dad is mental. Thinks Lily shouldn’t be going out alone her first year at uni or something. And he’ll know if she goes; I think he can track her and Y/N’s phones or some psychotic shit like that.” “Yes, yes, you’ve mentioned it.” “Have I? Because you don’t seem to be getting it, dickhead. C’mon, I’d do it for you.” “Oh, would you? You’d go out with the most grim girl you’ve ever laid eyes on, having to worry all night she might stab you if you don’t open the door for her — or if you do actually, knowing her,” Sirius muses. “I would,” he replies certainly. “In fact, I’d do it even if I knew she would stab me. I’d take a knife for you, Black.” “Alright, easy, Prongs. I love you too, but no need to get so dramatic.”

“If you really loved me, you’d do this for me.” “You aren’t gonna let up are you?” “Not a chance.” “Fucking hell.” Sirius flicks away the butt of his cig and walks away, thinking he still had until he found you to change his mind. 

You’re sitting in a courtyard outside reading, and it crosses Sirius’s mind that in the odd moments in which you didn’t look so angry, you were actually kind of… beautiful? 

You’re engrossed in your book when you hear, “Hello, gorgeous.” Sirius smiles at you, taking a seat beside you, leaning close. 

“Can I help you?” you shoot. “Funny you should offer,” he jests. “Yes, yes you can in fact.” You look annoyed, not amused; he’s not used to this reaction but treads on, “It would be a marvelous help actually if you’d join me on Saturday. As I’m sure you know, there’s a party. Half the uni is going, but I reckon it will be rather dull unless you’re there.” He puts on his most seductive smirk. “No, thanks.” You close your book, get up, and leave. He’s sitting there, a bit awe-struck, when he sees you simply sit back down somewhere else, in plain view of his, and continue reading. 

“She’s mental,” he whispers to himself. 

“I tried, Prongs. Leave it, won’t you?” he sighs exasperatedly later that afternoon.

“No, I won’t. Since when are you one to give up so easily? So she didn’t say yes right away, big deal.” “She didn’t not say yes; she said ‘no.’ Very emphatically I might add.” 

“So be more charming! That usually works for you, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that earlier. Thanks, James. Thanks so much,” he says sardonically. “I tried. It’s not as if I went up to her and didn’t try to be charming.”

“If you manage to get her to the party, I will buy you that new guitar you want so much.”

Sirius freezes. Interesting. 

“You can’t afford it,” he shoots.   “I can.” “You’ll back out for some idiotic loophole reason.” “I won’t.” Sirius groans and goes off again. 

“I think you and I got off on the wrong foot.” You’re lying in the grass, headphones on, eyes closed. You look serene. You don’t respond. He shifts and steps closer, accidentally shielding your face from the sun. This gets your attention. 

“What?” you ask, freeing one ear from your headphone, sitting up. He clears his throat and squats down in front of you. 

“I said, I think you and I got off on the wrong foot.” “Oh. Didn’t hear you,” you say simply, pointing at the headphones. “Yes, I gathered.” 

There is an awkward pause. It lingers.

“So…,” you say softly. “Is there something else, or…” 

Bloody hell; was it just him, or did you hate everyone this much?

“What are you listening to?” he tries. “Why do you care?” you reply. You don’t sound angry, though. It comes out like a normal question; he’s just confused as to how you think it is one. 

“I love music,” he says, taking a seat. 

“Okay…” You look genuinely confused. “I love music too, but it doesn’t mean I give a shit what that bloke over there is listening to.” You gesture toward some guy with his headphones in too. 

“Right. Well. I’m interested in music, but I’m also interested in you.” “Why?” “Are you serious?” “Do I sound like I’m joking?” “No, you sound like you’ve never had a conversation with anyone in your life.” He sounds a bit exasperated. He realizes this after the fact and internally cringes for his lack of patience, thinking it will set him back (if he’s made any progress at all) but is surprised at your lack of reaction. 

“I just don’t see why you would be,” you say calmly. 

He’s heard girls say similar to him many times, some out of actual insecurity, some just fishing for his compliments. Your tone is unlike any of theirs, and he’s not sure what to make of it.  “You don’t see what? Why I would be interested in you?”

“Yeah. I mean, we’ve been vaguely aware of each other for a long time; had a class together and such. You never seemed interested then.” Feeling a bit more himself again, he replies smoothly, “Did you want me to be, love?”

You groan a little. 

“Oh, I was dying for it,” you say, deadpan. “You were all I thought about,” you add dramatically. “I couldn’t focus on anything all day, and at night,” you lean toward him, like you’re about to tell him the deepest secret, “I’d touch myself to the thought of you.” You make a fake-scandalized expression, gasping sarcastically, then turn away as if nothing strange had just happened, turning the volume up on your music and adjusting your headphones again. You laid back down and closed your eyes, ignoring his presence beside you. 

His mind had no idea which thread to chase. It was torn between dissecting how what he thought would offend you didn’t and what he thought would charm you offended you, marveling at how easily you had just joked about your wanking, or coming up with A) a way to convince James this was not happening or… (he seemed excited at the thought) B) a way to convince you to pay attention to him. While this all churned on the surface, in the back of his mind he registered the song you were listening to, which he heard in the fraction of time between your turning it up and putting your headphones back on. He loved that song. 

“How’d it go with Fender?” James asks, entering their flat and plopping down onto the sofa next to Sirius. 

“With what?” Sirius looks at him as though he’s gone mad. “Fender,” he repeats, as if that clarified anything. “Okay. See, the way I see it,” he pauses for dramatic effect, “is that you can think of her as your guitar. That way you’ll want her as badly as that bloody fender and you’ll get off your arse and figure it out.” “Don’t you see how that’s a little, I don’t know, objectifying?” 

“Perfect, she’s rubbing off on you already; I know how much of a feminist she is. This is great; one step closer to love.” “Love?” Sirius’s disbelief is palpable. “When did this go from a meaningless date to help you out to love?” He grimaces a bit… then he grimaces a lot — but this at his realization that it wasn’t the idea of love, or even being in love with you, that made him grimace, but the idea that that didn’t even seem like a possibility. 

“She’s mental, Prongs,” he says quickly, trying to distract himself. “I have no idea what to say to her, and everything I say falls flat, or worse.” “So now you know what it’s like to not look like a demigod and just have to flash a smile to get a girl’s attention. Have you ever thought about talking to her about something she likes? or something you like even. Just not vapid lines that would work regardless of who’s on the receiving end?” 

Sirius squints at him and says, “I tried that, you twat. Asked her about music.” “And she didn’t like that?” 

Sirius pauses, thinking back. “I don’t know,” he responds honestly.

“Well, did she seem annoyed?” “No. Not yet.” “When did she get annoyed?” Sirius winces. “When I asked her if she’d had a crush on me when we had a class together.” 

James slaps the back of his head.

 

A few days go by, the weekend and fated party soon approaching. Sirius is out at a retro record shop in the late afternoon, and a t-shirt with the band name and logo of the group you were listening to the other day, Greta Van Fleet, catches his attention. It’s a cool shirt. And he likes them too. He’s not just thinking of getting it as a potential conversation starter for you. Truly… 

He walks out of the shop, up two records and a t-shirt. 

He runs a couple errands, kills a bit of time, and heads over to the campus pub to meet James and Remus. When he walks in, he’s struck by the sight of you, sitting alone in a corner booth, a pint and a book in front of you. 

James comes to greet him, and he reciprocates, trying to act natural, but as soon as he gets the chance, hoping you haven’t spotted him (he’s pretty sure; he’s barely taken his eyes off of you, so he probably would’ve noticed), he dodges to the toilets, bag in hand. 

When he comes back out, James asks, “Did you just change, mate?” 

“Uh, yeah. Spilled something on my shirt earlier and had a spare.” James accepts this explanation as reasonable and doesn’t spend more time on it. 

They get some drinks and are met by Remus, but as James heads to an empty booth, Sirius grabs his arm and drags him in the other direction. “Let’s sit over there actually.” “Why?” “Just looks more spacious.” And grants a better view of you, he doesn’t add. James looks skeptical but follows, and the three of them settle in. 

Sirius is distracted, occasionally gracing the conversation with a nod of his head or a simple “oh, yeah?” 

James is so caught up in a story, he doesn’t seem to notice, but Remus, ever observant, teases, “You know, if you’d rather go sit with Evans, Sirius, we won’t be offended.” James looks over, catching sight of you for the first time, a little disappointed at which Evans it was.

“What?” Sirius replies lamely. 

“Oh, come on, Padfoot. You haven’t stopped staring at her since we got here.” 

“Brilliant! Another chance,” exudes James. 

“Another chance at what?” asks Remus. “Sirius is taking her to the party on Saturday.” “I’m not,” Sirius interjects harshly. After a beat he adds exasperatedly, looking toward Remus, “James wants me to be taking her to the party on Saturday. That way her sister will come along too and grace him with her presence.” 

“You know,” James muses, “Fender doesn’t look as scary from this far away. I reckon you should go talk to her, Pads.” “Fender?” asks Remus.

“Don’t ask,” deadpans Sirius. “Well? Go on, then,” James urges. “Relax, mate. I’ll go later; just give me a minute.” 

“Are you… nervous?” “Oh, and you wouldn’t be? After she’s rejected you twice in one week?” “Oh, I definitely would be, but you? It’s shocking. This might have a few upsides beyond my date with Lily. I like seeing you flustered.” “I’m not flustered,” Sirius shoots defensively. “I’m just trying to have a drink with my mates without all the nagging, alright? Is that too much to ask?”

“Yes,” James jokes but has mercy on him and continues his conversation with Remus after a threatening, “We’ll come back to this” and a grin. 

Sirius is watching you when the song in the pub changes. You smile a little bit, and he hates how it makes his heart flutter. When the lyrics start, your mouth moves along with them, singing under your breath, and you move a bit with the music. You look beautiful lost in your own world like that. Just then, you look up, and your eyes meet his. They widen, and you freeze, looking a bit embarrassed. He wants to look away but braves on, holding your gaze and attempting to smile in greeting. You give a strained smile in response and look down shyly. It’s a strange look on you, timid. Sirius is not surprised to find it suits you, but he is surprised to find that he misses snarky and strong on you. 

You look back again as if you couldn’t help it, and he catches your glance go down toward his shirt. Yes, he thinks. God, is this how most people normally feel? He feels pathetic, trying so hard to look interesting in front of you, wondering whether you could like him. Your attention is pulled away by the arrival of your sister, and when you stand up and hug her, he sees you smile brightly for the first time. It’s blinding.

“Heads up, Prongs,” he says, not looking away from you. James follows his gaze, and his hand instinctively goes to his hair. Remus scoffs amusedly. 

You both look over, and James awkwardly pulls his hand from his hair and waves at Lily. She gives a giddy laugh and waves back. She turns to you and whispers something, and you shake your head vehemently in response. You start to argue in loud whispers that are still too far away to make out, but eventually Lily just rolls her eyes, looks back over, and gestures for the boys to join you. You look furious.

James doesn’t skip a beat, grabbing his drink and heading over with a confident, “Come on then.”

He pushes Sirius into the booth on your side and slides in next to Lily, Remus sliding in after him, ending up on his other side. Lily, James, and Remus start up an easy chat, but you and Sirius stay quiet. He feels tense, his palms probably sweaty, and the feeling is quite foreign to him. He fiddles with his glass in front of him, not looking sideways at you. “Nice shirt,” you say softly. 

He looks down, as if he doesn’t know exactly what shirt he’s wearing, then looks up at you, responding “thanks” in his best attempt at a casual tone. “You like them?” he adds, knowing the answer. 

You nod. “A lot actually.” “Me too.” “Clearly,” you laugh a little, nodding toward his shirt, and he loves the sound of it. “Why else would you wear this shirt?’ Why else indeed. 

“Yeah,” he laughs, a bit strained still but starting to loosen up. 

“You seem different,” you say. Again with the directness. He needs to learn how to handle it better for future conversations. He catches himself in this thought and can’t help but register his high hopes for the existence of said future conversations. 

“Do I?” “Yeah. I don’t know. You seem…” You seem a bit lost for words then finish, “like the acoustic version to your regular electric.” 

His eyebrows go up, surprised at such phrasing, followed closely by the corners of his lips, intoxicated by it. He doesn’t know what to say, and for the first time, that seems like the beginning of potentially beautiful possibility instead of just an obstacle to overcome as soon as possible. He’s never been so at peace with not saying anything. He just smiles. 

You smile too, and into the quiet space he’s created, whisper, “I like it.” He can’t help his smug smirk at this; he’s still himself after all, but it’s more teasing than before, and this time when you roll your eyes, you lips don’t lose their smile. 

You shift a bit, listening to whatever your sister is saying then tense up suddenly. Sirius has been so distracted just watching you, he has no idea what was said that stressed you out so much. He finally pays attention to try to piece it together. “Right, Y/N?” Lily asks. “Umm,” you don’t answer. “That’s brilliant, right, Sirius?” James says now. “Sorry, what’s brilliant?” “Y/N. Going to the party Saturday,” he responds. Sirius looks inquisitively at you. 

“I never said I was going,” you say, your demeanour back to its regular grumpy one. “In fact, I wasn’t planning to,” you finish with some finality. Lily leans into your shoulder, making puppy dog eyes at you. “But you’ve reconsidered just for me, right? Pleeeaasee, Y/N, pleeaasee.” 

You roll your eyes and bump her off of you but don’t say anything. You opt to take a swig of your drink instead despite the four pairs of eyes still intently watching you. Sirius has the odd sensation that that somehow actually doesn’t affect you, being seen, and it fascinates him. You don’t even look like you’re considering anymore when Lily bumps your shoulder with hers and fake-whispers, “pleeeaaaseee.” 

You roll your eyes again, but give in with a simple, “fine.”

“Ah!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Lily chants, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your cheek between her praises. You’re grimacing; James is beaming. 

Saturday rolls around, and James and Sirius are finishing getting ready to go. Sirius is searching the messy living room for his leather jacket as he says, “No, mate, I’ll just meet you there.” “What are you talking about? Of course you should walk her there.” “She never said she was going with me. She just said she’d go. I don’t know why she’d expect — or want — me to show up at her flat.” “Just ask her.” “Don’t have her number.” 

James takes his out of his pocket, types something, waits a moment. A ding sounds; he sends another message, and now Sirius’s phone sounds. He opens it to a text from James with your phone number. “Just asked Lily,” James says smugly. Sirius rolls his eyes and plops onto the sofa, debating, spinning his phone in his hand. 

“What do I say?” “Figure it out, playboy,” James says as he goes back into his room, probably to check his hair again.

Sirius starts typing a message. 

hey, Y/N, it’s sirius… how are you? What am I, fifty? he thinks to himself, shaking his head. He erases the how are you?, replacing it with lily gave james your number then james gave it to me. Fucking hell. He erases that too. 

He writes, hey Y/N, it’s sirius… do you want me to come with james to get you and lily? and hits send before he can overthink it. 

He tosses his phone to the side, but he can’t stop looking over at it, and his leg is bouncing up and down rapidly. He’s wringing his hands together, fiddling with his rings when his phone vibrates. He snatches it up immediately, opening it to find one word from you: sure. Good enough, he thinks, and there’s an energy to his step he didn’t have before as he grabs his jacket, saunters to James’s room, and drags him out of the flat.

As you follow Lily out the door, Sirius swallows hard. You look stunning. Lily is all made up, her face looking much more perfect than most days, her heels looking like they’ll hurt after one block. Your look is more low-key. Your eyeliner makes your eyes even more striking than usual, but you still look like yourself. You’re wearing a classic pair of converse that look cool with your long leather coat. 

“Hey,” he greets when you’re standing in front of him.

“Hey,” you say back. You sway from the heels of your feet to your toes a bit then you both turn to walk behind James and Lily, who have their arms wrapped around each other and are already talking animatedly.

The first few minutes of the walk are completely silent between the two of you. Though it’s strangely not awkward, Sirius wants to talk to you, just doesn’t know where to start. He decides to just dive into the deep end. “What’s it like not caring what people think about you? Just saying what you want to say, or,” he chuckles at the current situation, “not saying anything?” You look at him seriously for a moment, considering him.

“I care what some people think about me. Just not everyone. And especially not random guys just because they’re attractive, and I’m supposed to put in some big effort to make myself attractive to them. I have better things to use, even better things to waste, my time and energy on.” You shrug. 

“What’s your favourite waste of time?” he asks, grinning, his eyebrow raised in curiosity. You’re looking down in front of you, but he can see you smile. 

“Um, funky question. Because I guess it’d be music. Getting high and just lying there listening to it, feeling it,” you laugh. “But that hardly seems like a waste.” You’re cheerful, and it’s addicting. Sirius laughs and says, “Hardly sounds like a waste at all. Sounds brilliant.” 

“Yeah,” you sigh, still smiling. “How about yours?” 

“Hm. I don’t know. Can’t just copy your answer, can I?” “Nope,” you pop. 

“Damn. Well, in that case, I’ll go with just hanging out with James and Remus, not really doing much in particular.” 

You nod. “Hardly sounds like a waste at all.” You smile at each other and chuckle. 

When you get to the party, music is blasting, and it’s already full of people, many of whom seem to be drunk already. Sirius catches you looking around with a huge grimace on your face, and he finds it adorable. “Your favourite way to spend a Saturday night?” he asks cheekily, having to lean close due to the noise. You look at him and roll your eyes, but there’s a trace of a smile on your lips. 

Several people greet Sirius, and he laughs and jokes with them. He’s clearly great at being the life of the party. You’ve already lost track of James and Lily. Hoping she’s having fun, you just hang back near Sirius, not engaging with his friends. No matter how glad he seems to see someone, though, he always comes back to you.

“You don’t have to linger, you know. I’ll be fine by myself.” “It’s everyone else I’m worried about. Given the murderous look on your face,” he laughs, though he can’t ignore the sting of the word “linger.” 

You scoff but seem amused. “Besides,” he adds more quietly, “I want to be with you.” 

“Okay,” you smile. “Okay,” he confirms happily. 

As the night goes on, you actually chat more and more easily. Commentary on the DJ’s (usually subpar) performance helps. You’re laughing together, and his hopes are high that you’re having a good time. “I actually like this one,” you say, wincing in amused embarrassment when a dancey pop song comes on. 

“Wanna dance?” he asks excitedly. 

“Um, I’m not much of a dancer,” you admit. “That’s alright. Me neither. Fancy it anyway?”

You bite your lower lip, considering, before nodding. 

He takes your hand and guides you between crowds of people to the area functioning as a dance floor. You stand close to each other, face to face, and it takes some time to get into the rhythm. Sirius finds you adorable as you cover your face with your hand, laughing at yourself. He grabs your hand, uncovering your face, and spins you. You laugh and put your other hand on his shoulder when you’re facing him again. He puts his hand on your hip, and you two move with the music, letting go. You dance a few more songs before you lean into his ear to say something. The contact shoots a thrill down his spine. “Wanna get some air? I’m getting really warm in here,” you semi-yell. He nods and grabs your hand again, walking with you out onto the quieter, emptier patio. You take a deep breath and sigh in contentment at the fresh air, leaning on your forearms on the porch ledge. You look lovely all flushed. 

“What?” you ask, laughing lightly. “What?” he repeats, smiling but uncertain. “You’re looking at me funny.” He’s debating telling you the truth, telling you it’s because he thinks you’re beautiful, when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He just shakes his head casually as he goes to check it. He sees an unimportant message and just puts his phone down on the ledge in front of you both. You just stand there quietly with each other, shoulder to shoulder, and he fucking loves it. He feels at peace and excited simultaneously.

“Mind if I smoke?” he asks you, reaching into his pocket. 

“Not as much as your lungs,” you retort. He gives you a “very funny” look. “I don’t mind,” you say more softly. He pulls out his cigs but keeps digging in his pockets. “Shit, forgot my lighter. Gonna go steal one from anyone I know real quick. Be right back,” he says, bumping your shoulder with his. You nod happily. 

You’re standing there alone when his phone lights up in front of you. 

A text from James reads, saw you sneak off with fender 👀 looks like you oughtta be grateful instead of annoyed in the end 

Followed quickly by one from Remus, okay can one of you please explain the nickname now? it’s weird

James again, i promised sirius i’d buy him that fender he keeps going on about if he suffered a date with Y/N for me

Your stomach drops, and you feel like you’re going to be sick, your ears ringing with more than the after-effects of the loud music. 

Sirius comes back, putting his hand on your lower back with a sweet “hey.”

You grab his phone, shove it in his chest, and seethingly say, “Fuck you, Black. Hope you didn’t have to suffer too much.” Your shoulder shoves him aggressively as you storm off. 

He looks at his phone, and pure horror courses through him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he keeps repeating as he speeds after you through the crowds. He doesn’t catch up until you’re a good way down the street away from the party. 

“Y/N! Wait! Please wait a second,” he calls, out of breath, as he reaches you, grabbing your forearm to try to turn you toward him. His heart shatters at the sight that meets him. You’re crying. 

You yank your arm away from him and spit out, “Leave me alone.” 

“Please. Please just let me explain. I wanted to be with you tonight. Please,” he pleads, walking fast to keep up with you. 

“Oh, fuck off. You don’t have to keep it up anymore; your friend got what he wanted.” “It’s not like that, okay? You can ask him if you want! He’ll tell you I wanted you to come with me; he’ll tell you I like you.” “I’m sure he’ll tell me whatever you want him to, Black, but I’m really not interested. Please just leave me the fuck alone.” You start walking faster, and he stops dead in his tracks. He doesn’t know what he could possibly say, and he just stands there in the middle of the road, the worst feeling he’s ever felt weighing him down to the spot.

You’re back in your flat, still crying, when your phone buzzes. 

Y/N

please 

can we please talk? 

it’s not what you think

i really want to talk to you

please

You put it on silent and toss it away.

You wake up with puffy eyes and four missed calls from Sirius from last night and another three from this morning. You delete the notifications and go take a shower, blasting your music. 

You get dressed carelessly, grab your bag, and shove your headphones on. You meet Lily in the living room on the way out, and she looks concerned. She tries to stop you, but you just say “I’m fine” and hurry out the door. 

You walk to a nearby park, a favourite spot of yours, and roam around for a while, hoping unsuccessfully to drown out your feelings in the music and movement. You sit down at a bench and take out your book. After reading the same sentence about ten times, you slam it shut and shove it back in your bag. You just sit there, and you’re struggling to keep the tears away as you let yourself replay your emotions from last night. You lie down on the grass, listening to your music again and shutting your eyes tight. After a while, it suddenly gets darker behind your eyelids, and you open your eyes to see what’s blocking the sun. Fuck. You’ve got to tell Lily to stop giving your phone number and probable locations to arseholes. 

Sirius is standing above you, a desperate look on his face. He squats down and grabs your hands as you move to grab your things, clearly planning to leave.

“Wait, Y/N. Please wait. I’m begging you.” 

“What do you want?” you ask harshly, taking your headphones off. 

“Just to talk to you. Please. Please let me apologize.” “You’ve apologized. Now leave me alone.” You turn away from him again and get up. 

“No, that’s not it. I want to make things right. You have to understand.” “Understand what exactly?” “I like you. I really like you. I think about you all the time; I want to spend more time with you.” “Another instrument in it for you?” you say scathingly. “No, no, of course not. That guitar thing was stupid. Really. It was really fucking stupid, and it was before we’d ever even talked! Well, you’d said a total of six words to me, but still, I had no idea how much I’d want to keep trying to get you to give me a chance without any other incentive.” You don’t say anything, but you also don’t go to leave, and Sirius sees this as serious progress. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I was a complete and total idiot to ever even entertain the idea, but it was just a silly thing before anything else happened.” “And what exactly is it that you think happened?” Your arms are crossed, and you still look like you want to murder him. 

“I saw how fucking incredible you are. And I got it in my head that the thing I want most in the world is a chance to keep seeing how incredible you are. Let’s see. What else happened? I bought a t-shirt just to get your attention; I made a fool of myself in front of my friends from how nervous I was to talk to you; I lost sleep thinking about everything you’d ever said to me, and how you’re like no one I’ve ever met; I wrote and rewrote the simplest message last night like a lovestruck idiot because I was dying for you to say you wanted to see me. Then what else? Oh, right, and correct me if I’m wrong here because this is where you come in: then I had a fucking brilliant time with you last night. I dreamt of wasting time with you, of getting to dance with you again, of making you laugh even though you’re gorgeous even when you look cross — like right now by the way — I even dreamt of sitting in silence with you for fuck’s sake.” He was out of breath by the time he finished his speech.

“How’d you know I liked Greta Van Fleet?” “What?” “I assume that’s the shirt you bought to get my attention. How’d you know I liked them?” “That’s what you’re asking me right now?” “Yes.” “Fucking hell, Y/N.” A beat. “I could hear it from your headphones that second day you blew me off.” You just nod, still looking solemn.

“You’re not,” you say after a moment.

“Not what?”

“Wrong. About last night. You know, its being brilliant. Before… well, before —”

“Before I cocked it all up with silly games I never should’ve played in the first place,” he interrupts. “Before my stomach fucking flipped at reading those messages and my heart broke at seeing you…,” he swallows the knot in his throat, “at making you cry.” He ventures a step toward you, and you don’t move away, just tighten your grip on yourself and look down. “I’m so so sorry I did, Y/N. And I’ll make it up to you if you’ll let me.” He puts a hand on your cheek, caressing you softly. His other hand comes to your arms, uncrossing them and intertwining your fingers with his. He steps a bit closer and speaks more softly as he asks, “What do you say, love?”

You stay silent for a few seconds then say, “Okay.” He scoffs in relief and disbelief, chuckling. 

“I just poured my heart out to you, and all you say is ‘okay’?”

“Yes,” you say, but after a second, a subtle smile lightens your features. He barks a laugh.

“I’ll take it,” he says, kissing your forehead. He lingers there a moment, still caressing your cheek, his lips hovering at your hairline, and when he leans back, he stays very close to your face, looking down at your lips. You push your chin up, bringing your faces even closer together. He smiles at this and closes the shrinking gap. 

Your kiss tastes like possibility, and as Sirius shifts, deepening it, he’s not surprised to find your tongues fall into rhythm with each other as easily as your bodies did on the dance floor last night. 

You clutch his jacket, pulling him closer as he envelops your mouth with his, the warmth of it coursing from where you’re connected down through your entire body. 

He leans his forehead against yours when you break apart. He gives your nose a peck then, your fingers still intertwined, says, “So. What do you want to do now?” “I don’t know.” Not letting go of his hand, you grab your stuff and start walking with him. “Maybe we can waste time. Or sit in silence.” He squints at you.

“Are you taking the piss?”

“Yeah, a little bit, yeah,” you grin guilty. 

He’s laughing, shaking his head, as he sarcastically says, “We’ll see when I make the effort of giving you another romantic speech.”

“I can’t wait to hear it,” you say, squeezing his hand and kissing his cheek.

[deadbydangit]

Hi uh— How about this, how would the killers react to a gn killer reader who before and after being sent to the entity realm is obsessed with music?? They’re constantly itching to get music in their ears or even make their own. It’s a big part of who they are, and they’re unfortunately limited in this realm when it comes to it.

Thanks in advance!! (P.S love the way you write!! It’s great! :D)

That's a neat one. I can do that. I'm going to change it to a reader who likes music if that's okay. Please enjoy.

With a music loving reader: Trickster, Legion (Julie), Legion (Frank)

Trickster

Music you say?

You want to hear real music?

Well then you've come to the right person.

He is a famous musician after all.

Ji-Woon will remind you of that on the regular.

He's really just bragging to be honest.

Just let him have that.

Although he may seem obnoxious about it, he's really glad to have another music fan in the realm with him.

Believe it or not, he won't just talk about his own music.

Although, that will be most of what he talks about.

He likes to hear what you're into too.

Although he sincerely hopes you do enjoy his music.

He'll even listen to some of the music you listen to.

Even if he hates it, he'll listen to the song all the way through first.

Then, he might complain about it.

But he's willing to give it a chance first.

If it weren't for you, he wouldn't have learned about other types of music.

And, consider yourself lucky, because he's willing to put on a whole private show just for you.

Make sure you praise him lots. He thrives off of that.

Rather, it's just what he's used to.

Having you in his life is actually a godsend.

He's so used to having adoring fans around him all the time, he isn't sure how to live without it.

Even if you don't love his music, try and at least pretend you like it more than you do.

And, intern, he might try some different music styles.

He might even try and make something just for you.

Legion (Frank)

"You've got to listen to this!"

Frank is the type who will take off your headphones and put his in your ears.

It's not that he's trying to be rude or obnoxious.

He's really just excited to share his music with you.

His favorites are metal and rock, though occasionally he will listen to some pop music 🎶 n occasion.

He's also the type that has his music turned up to the max.

So be prepared to have it blaring in your ears.

Being a foster kid, he didn't have much.

He went through many different foster homes in many different situations.

And, often, there was no one there for him.

The one thing that was always there for him, was music.

Music was his way of getting through the tough times.

You can always tell how he's feeling based on the type of music he's listening to.

He even has certain songs that he listens to when he's trying to get through certain situations.

So when he shows you the song, it's really him asking for comfort.

Make sure you're also sharing your music with him.

And don't just share the first song that you pull up.

Share music that means something to you.

Even if it's something he doesn't like, he won't say anything about it.

Since you shared it with him, it must mean something to you.

When he shares his music, it's his way of putting himself out there and being vulnerable around you.

Which is something that's very difficult for him to do.

So, intern, he wants you to be vulnerable with him.

Not only does it make him feel like you're an equal, it makes him feel like you can trust him.

And that's all he really wants: someone to trust.

Legion (Julie)

Julie has a very diverse preference with her music.

And it all has to do with her mood.

She wears her emotions very clearly on her face.

Usually, looking at her face is enough to tell how she's feeling.

But with her mask, it's harder to tell.

So, make sure you're listening to her music.

If she's in a happy mood, she'll usually be listening to pop or something upbeat.

If she's angry? Usually metal or some heavy rock.

If she's sad it's usually something more melancholy or softer.

She's also the type to blare it through her headphones, so when she wants to share be sure to be prepared for your ears to be blown out.

It's honestly a miracle she isn't deaf.

She really wants you to feel the music, so she won't say a word to you during the song.

But after, expect to talk about it.

All of it.

The words, the sounds, transition, beats, everything.

All of it means something to her, and she wants to discuss it.

Not like in a scholarly way.

In more of a friendship type way.

It's how she bonds with people.

She's also super willing to listen to your music too.

But make sure you think carefully about what you show her.

She doesn't want to hear the first thing when you hit shuffle.

Julie wants to hear your favorite song.

And be prepared to answer questions after.

"Why that song?"

"What does it mean to you?"

It might sound like she's interrogating you. But she doesn't mean to sound like that.

Really, she's just excited to be listening and spending time with you.

[ithinkabouttzu]

omg feel free to ignore but can you do BoB headcanons of having a female medic s/o with big boobs 🙏

Easy co.’s reaction to having a nurse s/o with big boobs

genre: Fluff; suggestive

warnings: Language, suggestion (sorry guys)

description: Easy company’s men reaction to you (their s/o) being their nurse and having big boobs.

a/n: Hey!! Sorry I totally didn’t see the medic part and I accidentally wrote it as nurse i’m so sorry 😭 Anywho, just a reminder that this isn’t any hate towards any itty-bitty-titty community at all! (love you guys for real!) Also, some of these might seem like they’re sexualizing the reader but please don’t take it that way, it’s all supposed to be about love!! Hope you enjoy reading <3

Taglist: @sweetxvanixlla @ronsparky @samwinchesterslostshoe @executethyself35 @linhkhanhcps @1waveshortofashipwreck @grumpy-liebgott @barbeygirl (if you want to be added to the taglist, let me know!)

Dick Winters: - He tries to be the most respectful, it’s inappropriate to look at your body that way and he really respects you.

- But he also is fighting himself from blushing when he sees how your figure looks in your nurses uniform

- He finds you beautiful regardless though, no matter what your chest size is (even tho he’s had a very hard time trying not to stare)

Lewis Nixon: - his eyes get really big when he sees you in your nurse uniform, your cleavage out almost perfectly.

- His throat becomes dry, he feels the urge to drink water, lots of it from his recent thirst, but it seems the only thing he’s thirsty for is you.

- After seeing only men for the past months, and you being the first women he sees in the hospital, he almost dies flat out and he would be completely happy to do so

Carwood Lipton: - He doesn’t even notice at first, he only looks when you have to reach across his body in order to find a good vein.

- His face gets so red, one because he’s guilty for looking, another because he’s absolutely in awe of the beautiful things in front of him

- He still tries to not objectify you, but he truly finds you beautiful in general. He can’t help but get goosebumps at the thought of seeing you again

Joe Toye: - Man when he sees you in that nurses dress, after almost a year of seeing only the men around him, he gets so close to losing it

- He literally starts drooling at the mouth whenever he sees you, you’re like a dream come true, an answer to every single one of his prayers.

- When you do get close to him it’s like he can’t breathe, your body only clouds his mind with unholy thoughts and the dying urge to feel your pretty chest. He’s absolutely desperate for you and getting to know you for the rest of his stay at the hospital.

Joe Liebgott: - NOW WE ALL KNOW THIS MAN IS HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE When he sees you, he actually does lose it, a big smile rising onto his face as though the girl of his dreams is now assigned as his nurse

- He’s an absolute slut for you. Like he’s gonna try his absolute best to make you his, whatever he has to do, he’ll do it. He can’t help but flirt with you any chance he can get.

- When it’s getting close to the end of his stay, he’s dreading it. Only wishing to see you everyday. He’ll practically beg to see you again sometime, or if he can write to you. And being good friends you say yes, making him the happiest man alive.

Bill Guarnere: - He’s probably the biggest flirt you’ve had as a patient. The look on his face is the equivalence of a kid in a candy store for the first time. He’s quick to introduce himself to you, bringing out his best charm for you

- “You always walk around looking like that? It’s killin’ me, doll, and you know it” He would whisper in your ear as you take care of him. It’s hard not to give in when he’s so enticing like this, his voice sending you chills when he talks to you so romantically.

- He’d promise he’d write to you once he gets better, making sure that once the war was over, he’d find you again and take you out the right way.

George Luz: -He gets so smiley when he sees you, he doesn’t mean to stare at your chest, in his defense your chest was kinda staring at him first, your uniform was a bit tight in the upper half making you a bit more revealed, but he didn’t mind one bit.

-He was actually rather joyful, whenever he saw you, you brought his hopes up a bunch. It always made him so happy to see you. Just being around a women and getting to be taken care of by you was a dream.

- He loves every second that he has with you, I could definitely see him being quite smitten with you after you taking such good care of him.

Eugene Roe: - He gets super shy around you and finds it pretty hard to make eye contact for the longest. He never thought he’d be the one to end up hurt, especially when he was supposed to be the one to help people get better, but being around you makes things a lot better.

- Sometimes he’d like to imagine that you guys are together while you’re taking care of him and when he’s really sad. just a lovely girlfriend taking care of her sick boyfriend is what he sees in his head (even tho he knows that’s not the case)

- When you ask if he’d like for you to write letters, he almost finds it impossible that a gorgeous girl like you, would want him to be your man. He’s estatic and would say yes immediately.

Bull Randleman: - It’s love at first sight for him. “Wow” is all he can say under his breath when he sees you for the first time. It’s an amazing sight.

- In the most non-offensive way possible, you’re like a wet dream come true to him. A sweet, pretty girl, with the prettiest tits known to man, taking care of him while he’s hurt.

- It’s like a dream for the rest of his time there. He waits and counts down the hours until you take care of him again, he’s just so happy to be in your presence.

Floyd Talbert: - After everything he’s endured the past months, you’re the best thing he’s ever seen. Literally a gift from God. You and your amazing top half mesmerizing him by the way you do practically anything.

- He looks forward to every-time he sees you. And when he does he’s flirting with you nonstop. “You know, when all this is over with, I would love to get to know you better.”

- He’s gotta a staring problem really bad, he tries to stop, but he can’t help it. You’re the first woman he’s laid eyes on in so long and he just can’t get enough of your body.

Skip Muck: - “Christ in heaven, you’re the best thing i’ve seen my entire life” He says when you walk to his bed, urgent for your care. “How are you today beautiful? Do I need to fight any fellas for giving you a problem?” He’s very playful with you, but there’s only truth to his words.

- He thinks you’re so pretty though, he’s like a schoolgirl crushing on her teacher, anticipating for your arrival everyday, and being a pet to you everytime you are around.

- When his stay is ending, he finally confesses his feelings to you, letting you know how much he actually enjoys spending time with you, and how he would love to see you after the war.

Don Malarkey:- He’s like a little boy around you, so cheerful and happy. When he first met you he was struck by your pretty face, and its was no surprise that your chest was perfect too.

- He tries being respectful every time you’re around, but it’s hard not to steal a glance at your pretty chest every now and then. You never fail to send butterflies down his body when you get close to him too.

-He’s extra sweet to you always, calling you ma’am respectfully, asking if he can do anything for you despite his physical condition. He’s just very happy to have a positive energy like you around him.

Babe Heffron: - “My goodness, what have I done to deserve you” He says when he sees you walk over to him, it doesn’t even matter if he’s hurt, he can’t feel it anymore. Only thing he can feel is a burning desire for you.

- You’ll catch him staring towards you a lot, he doesn’t even try to hide his staring eyes. He is truly fascinated with you.

- When his stay gets cut short, he asks you if you’d like for him to write to you, it was the sweetest you’d ever saw him. When you said yes he would grab you in a hug and swing you around with joy.

Shifty Powers: - He’s the most respectful out of all the guys. He’s well aware of how perfect your chest is, but he’s not going out of his way to make you uncomfortable at all. He’s pretty mature about it.

- But he does find you beautiful, to him, your body is obviously amazing, but you are so much more to him then just a nice nurse with pretty tits. You’re amazing girl that he would love to know more of.

- He probably would tell you how he feels later on once his time there was up, it he would be super nice and respectful about it.

Frank Perconte: - He’s like a dog to a bone, absolutely enamored with you and your smokin’ body (as he would like to call it)

- “What a dame” He’d say under his breath, suddenly in the need of water by your nice looks. He’s definitely gotta staring problem (he really can’t help it 😭)

- “When all this is over with, you wanna come home with me, pretty girl?” He would flirt with you until he physically can’t anymore

Ronald Speirs: - He doesn’t want to give you a huge reaction, but if you could read his mind, you’d be surprised about the things he’d been thinking about….

- “Doll, do you know the effect that you leave on half of the guys in this place? I can’t tell you what all they’d do just to touch you”

- In all, he’s mesmerized by your body and the way you move. Even in the most basic moments, he just can’t help but watch you do your job.

Skinny Sisk: - “You’re my nurse, wow. Is it my lucky day or somethin’?” When he sees you, he’s so happy that you’re gonna be the one taking care of him

- He’s a big simp for you, if you need anything, someone to talk to, help (if he’s physically able) then he’s more then willing to do it.

- He’s so smiley and happy around you it’s so sweet!! He tries not to stare at your amazing rack but he thinks you’re the prettiest he’s ever seen.

Chuck Grant: - “Golly, am I in heaven?” He thinks you’re an absolute angel after all of the hell he’s seen. If good looks could kill, he’d be willing to die under your watch.

- He has to remind himself constantly than your eyes are “up there” instead of anything otherwise, but he can’t concentrate on anything when you’re in the room (for obvious reasons ofc)

- He’s well behaved on the most part though, just a sweet bby who loves your chest like it’s nothing LOL

Johnny Martin: - He actually feels so much better when he finds out you are gonna he his nurse. Christmas day came early for him (a pretty girl with nice tits was for sure on his list)

- “What are you doin’ here? Shouldn’t you be performing at some show or something, you’re too pretty to work” He doesn’t understand why you’re having to move a finger tbh, you’re too precious to him 😭

- “I had a nice time with you while I was here, if you ever wanna write to me, you can, doll” He honestly gets kinda sad when he knows he won’t be able to wake up to your pretty face (and tits) everyday.

David Webster: - Tbh you’re the real reason why he’s in the hospital for so damn long 🤣 like the moment he met you he just had to be around you at all times

- He stares a lot, and has a quite bit of dirty daydreams containing your chest and him 😭

- Honestly he didn’t even think he was a boobs guy until he met you, you really changed him for the better

Buck Compton: - He’s this emoji: 🤤, actually drooling at the mouth, you look so good to him.

- He’s never been happier to be in a hospital at the moment, your presence is enough to bring him back to full health tbh

- He’s super thankful in general that he has such a pretty and well rounded (see what I did there ) nurse taking care of him while he’s down

Thank you for your request! If you enjoyed, make sure to reblog or like! 🩷

[onlyyvette]

[req] idw rodi and oppy maybe?? op getting spiked down by rodi (who won't stop even after multiple overloads) in a mating press is *chefs kiss* 🤌

Interesting Incentives

warnings: sub/bottom optimus + top/dom rodimus + breeding kink + rough sex + valve eating + a bit of humiliation + overstimulation + mating press + dacryphilia + Roddy hates doing his work + but if he gets the Optipussy out of it best believe he's getting it done🙏🏾

word count: 2320

a/n: I don't usually write much for Optimus/Roddy but I really enjoyed this ^-^ to add on to this I had to only put their names in their respective colors because making their writing colored was literally hurting my eyes...

Also while this takes place in mtmte, just pretend they had a canon iteration there for this scenario to happen

"Optimusss," Rodimus groaned, his helm hitting his desk with a heavy thunk. "I can't do this. Seriously, I can't. You know paperwork is one of my very few weaknesses," he huffed. Rodimus had been tasked with filling out some paperwork on some incident involving his crew doing certain things on certain foreign planets that they shouldn't be doing...Like he cares about that! Like yeah, maybe Cybertronians are banned from certain planets for that reason, why should he have to pay for it?

"Rodimus. We've already gone over this. If you're not able to keep your crew in check, there will be consequences." Optimus feels like he's explained several times over and over again. Probably because he has. "I get it, I get it. But do you know how boring this slag is? By the time I finish this work, a new war would have started, another 4 million years---"

"Okay, I understand." Optimus interrupts him and sighs heavily, closing his optics. How could he get the speedster to get through his work when he has the attention span of a turbopup? He open his optics only to find that Rodimus has started to scroll on his datapad, doing Primus know what.

Wait...what if there was a way to get him to do his work...

Optimus jumps a bit as he finally has an idea. It may be a bit...unrefined if the word fit, but it was his last chance to get Rodimus to actually get something done. "Rodimus." Optimus straightens up, catching the attention of the Lost Light captain. "I have an incentive for you to complete your work. One that I find you would consider."

"...What is it?" Rodimus seems a bit hesitant. Usually, Optimus' idea of a reward didn't match his own, but the look in Optimus' optics made him think about the possibility of the offer being worth it.

"If you finish your workload on time, I will allow you to interface with me however your spark desires." Optimus almost regrets what he says when he sees Rodimus choke a bit in surprise and bang on his chestplate, attempting to unclog the oral lubricant he choked on. He was no stranger to fragging Optimus as they were conjunx endurae, but for Optimus to just...lay fragging him on a table as a reward for him was something he did not expect from the Prime.

"Are you saying that...you're offering yourself up as a reward for me finishing my work?" Rodimus says incredulously. "You might as well just say: 'Finish your work and you can frag me silly'," Rodimus says with a mischievous grin. Optimus huffs as he turns his helm away a bit, his faceplate flushing a bit under his mask. "No matter how you believe I should have said it, but my offer still stands. I will be back in the next 6 joors. I would like to see your work done by then, Rodimus."

"No need to worry about me," Rodimus winks at the Prime. "I'll get it done in half the time." Optimus nods and exits the room. The moment the heavy door shuts behind him, Optimus sighs heavily. It's not like he wasn't open to holding up his end of the deal, but now he knows that Rodimus will only want to finish his work if he gets to frag Optimus. Not only that, but even he knew that six joors was too much time to give to the speedster to finish his work. He only gave that extra time because he truly was looking forward to Rodimus getting his reward.

Optimus shakes his helm, clearing his straying thoughts in his processor. Hopefully, Rodimus will take long enough so that Optimus can finish his proper paperwork. Still though, he can't get Rodimus out of his processor as he walks down the halls to his own office...

Not even a full two joors later, Rodimus calls Optimus' comm line and eagerly announces that he's finished. Optimus had only gotten halfway through his own work! Yes, he did expect Rodimus to finish in under his time limit, but he thought that the speedster was only bragging. Well...I've clearly been proven wrong Optimus thought to himself as he rises up from his chair and makes his way to Rodimus' office.

✿✿✿

Rodimus crowds Optimus onto his desk, placing his servos on both sides of Optimus' hips. "I told you I'd finish it in half the time needed," Rodimus purred as he nibbled on Optimus' finial. He only shivered and leaned into the touch. Rodimus placed a light kiss onto his conjunx's finial and laid his servos on his generous hips. "You don't know how badly I've been wanting this," Rodimus breathed out. Me either... Optimus thought to himself. The pair hadn't had much time lately to be with each other, let alone interface and it had left the both of them longing for each other.

Rodimus began to paw at Optimus panel and he let it slide away immediately. The speedster's digits made it's way to Optimus' valve, only to notice that it was already lubricating. Not that he didn't expect Optimus to be wet already but this much slick was...

Rodimus' suspicions were confirmed when he pushed two digits into Optimus valve and was met with no resistance at all. "Did you really open yourself up for me," Rodimus' optics widened in disbelief. Optimus turned away, his faceplate blushing furiously now. "Well, I know how hard you work when your focused and you seemed serious when you said you wouldn't take long so...I just decided to prepare myself for you."

Rodimus immediately begins to thrust his digits into Optimus, taking the Prime by surprise, causing him to let out an unrestrained whine. "Well aren't you sweet," Rodimus teased as he continued pumping his digits. "Mhh, nghh, AH---" Optimus' optics widen as he feels Rodimus grind one of his digits into his node. Harshly. "R-Rodimus please," Optimus begged for his conjunx to let up on the pressure to his node, his pretty blue optics gazing imploringly at his conjunx. It only caused him to press even harder, ripping a broken moan from the Prime.

"Relax," Rodimus rolled his optics. "You can take it, can't you?" Optimus inhales sharply when Rodimus doesn't let up and nods quickly. "Good," Rodimus praises his conjunx and leans into his faceplates. He gnaws a bit on Optimus' already kiss-bruised lips, asking for entry. Optimus parts his lips, allowing Rodimus to slip his glossa in and envelop him in a heated kiss.

Rodimus pushes the Prime down fully on his desk as he deepens the kiss, attacking Optimus' glossa and fully dominating him with just his intake. "Mhnghh...hmmm..." Optimus whimpered into the kiss, his processor feeling a bit fuzzy as Rodimus keeps up his assault in his intake. He doesn't even realize that Rodimus had been pushing him down until his spinal-strut hit the table.

Rodimus pulled away and admired his view of the Prime. Optimus' optics were half-lidded, his faceplate flushed the prettiest blue and he had a bit of oral lubricant running down the corner of his intake. Primus, he already looked fucked out even without fragging him. Finally taking his focus off of his conjunx's wrecked face, he decided to give more attention to his valve.

"I just can't get over the fact that I went so long without seeing this part of you Optimus," Rodimus says, lust filling his optics as he runs a digit down Optimus' puffy folds, watching them clench on nothing. "Thankfully, I'll be able to do more than looking today." Rodimus grabs the Prime by his large thigh and pushes his spike to Optimus' tight heat. He doesn't even remember when his spike pressurized but even that slips away from him as he pushes his spike into Optimus.

"R-Rodimus! Ahhh...nghh, not t-too fast---" Optimus whimpers as he feels Rodimus' spike fill him up so quickly. Rodimus' spike isn't that big for a mech of Optimus' size, but it's very long, Optimus sometimes feeling like it would hit his gestation seal if Rodimus goes too quickly. "Ah, s-sorry Optimus, you're just so---tight!" Rodimus punctuates with a rough thrust, directly into one of Optimus' more sensitive nodes in his valve, causing the Prime to let out an undignified moan.

Rodimus truly couldn't hold himself back. The magnets in his valve were practically pulling his spike in deeper and they were massaging his spike just right. Not only that, but Optimus' valve was so tight, so stimulating the it made him lose control. He tightens his grip on Optimus' thighs and pushes them back to Optimus' front, his thighs almost touching his windshield. "...What are you---" Before Optimus can get his sentence out, Rodimus begins pounding his valve so harshly that he chokes on his own words.

"HaaAH! Rodi-- AnGH! Oh!" Optimus lets out deep moans as Rodimus frags his valve with no restraint. With this new position, he can feel Rodimus' long spike getting dangerously close to his gestation seal. And it it was close to his seal, it also meant he was getting close to his forge..."F-frag you're so tight!" Rodimus groans as he pushes deeper into Optimus valve. At first, he doesn't know why but it's when he realizes what his spike is close to hitting does it finally click.

"Oohh, so I'm close to your seal, huh? W-want me to fill you up with my transfluid, yeah?" Optimus nods his head vigorously, his optics filled with charge. "Yes! Yes, want to-- Ohh! Mghnn, fill me up! Please!" He seemed so desperate to have his valve and forge filled up with Rodimus' transfluid that it only brought Rodimus closer to his overload than he would like.

"Y-you'd like that right? For me to to fuck your pretty pussy and fill it up so much you can barely walk?" Optimus whimpers at the speedster's crude use of human obscenities, yet it only makes him feel hotter under his plating. "Yes! Haah! Please, yes!" Optimus crying now, optical fluid flowing freely as it rolled down his face. He was so close to his overload, his frame trembling all over as Rodimus kept pumping his spike into him. His valve burned in such a pleasurable way whenever Rodimus' spike would reach deep into him, hitting his most sensitive nodes. "Rodimus! I-I'm---" Optimus' frame trembles violently as he feels his oncoming overload. "F-frag! Overload for me Optimus," Rodimus moans into Optimus' audial.

"GhhkK---" Optimus can barely even make any noise as his overload rocks through his frame. His valve drenches Rodimus' spike in his lubricant, tightening up almost impossibly so. "Hahh, Optimus---" Rodimus spills into him right after, painting the inside of his valve a light pink. As the pair lay down on the desk, their cooling fans spinning rapidly, Rodimus pushes Optimus' legs back into their previous condition. The Prime has a confused look on his face until Rodimus begins to push into him again.

"Rodimus, unghh...your still, ahh!" Optimus whines as Rodimus begins to frag him again. "You can go again...can't you Optimus?" Rodimus laughs breathily. "Nghh! I-I think I can---AH!" Optimus yelps embarrassingly when Rodimus bites down hard on his finial. He expected it to hurt and it did but...it only added on to the pleasure he felt with Rodimus' spike pumping in his valve. "Ahh! R-rodi---" The speedster shuts Optimus up with a violent kiss. His glossa forces its way into Optimus' intake, wrestling with Optimus' own glossa. The prime moans deeply into the kiss, allowing his intake to be dominated as Rodimus claimed his valve at a rough pace.

Optimus was an oversensitive wreck now, his helm spinning with the overwhelming pleasure his frame was feeling. Even quicker than the last time, Optimus overloads hard. "MMNGHH!" His load moan is barely muffled by Rodimus mouth on his. He squirts for a second time that night and can feel his frame run out of energy, his cooling fans working at the max. Rodimus still hadn't overloaded yet, still rutting into Optimus like his life depended on it. Optimus whimpered in overstimulation as the speedster continued to ravage his valve, chasing his own orgasm.

"Ghh---gonna overload! Optimus!" It was Rodimus' last warning before he finally released his transfluid into Optimus' valve. Optimus didn't know why, but Rodimus' last orgasm triggered another orgasm. It was smaller than the last two, but it still wasn't easy on his pleasure drunk frame. "Unghh...mmhnn, Rodimus," Optimus moans weakly as his orgasm passes through him, fully enveloping his frame in bliss. Finally, Rodimus pulled his depressurized spike out.

Once Rodimus saw the state of Optimus' valve, he was almost sorry he couldn't pressurize anymore. Optimus' valve lips were puffy from abuse and slick with his and Rodimus' overloads. His valve was absolutely drenched with the pairs' fluid, the lubricant dripping out of him a bit, creating an obscene image. While he couldn't frag Optimus again there was something else he could do.

Rodimus crouches and pulls himself close to Optimus' valve. He immediately presses his intake into Optimus' sopping valve, causing the Prime to make a a sound unbecoming of a Prime. "Hahnn, No more, oohhh," Optimus whines as he feels Rodimus glossa make its way into his valve, eating him out like it's his last meal. Rodimus sucks up all the transfluid in the Prime's valve, tasting the bittersweetness of their release. Wanting to give Optimus one last overload, he begins to rub furiously at his node.

"O-oh! Please Rodimus, I-I'm---MhHNGG!" Optimus overloads one last time, his vision whitening out for a bit before clearing again. As Optimus lays down on the desk, Rodimus slumped down on his chassis as they catch their breath, Optimus can't help but look forward to the next time he offers himself up as an incentive for his conjunx.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

For the emoji ask! absolutely LOVE your writing

🎲-dealer's choice +🩹 and ✏️ - maybe 🎲 comes down with a bad cold/flu and, with no real idea how or desire to take care of themselves, needs someone to remind them that they're worth taking care of?

We All Fall Down - Bob Taylor/Reader

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, Bob needs a lot of help.

Wordcount: 6356

Summary: You knew everything about your neighbour, or so you thought, apart from his name, but when you end up the only one willing to help him when he falls under the weather, you might just get your chance to finally learn it.

Notes: My first Bob reader! This request was actually perfect because I'd been wanting to write this exact scenario for him for months, so this was the perfect excuse to bump up this idea from my personal list to my queue ;w; so thanks! As much as I'd love to just take care of him forever, I get the feeling that he wouldn't be too okay with getting help while he's got a bad fever, so get ready for the hurt before he gets any comfort and I hope you enjoy QwQ 💗💗💗

Summer was giving way to fall outside of your windows, the leaves already starting to change now that September was underway. You loved this time of the year, there was something special about autumn that always made you so content while you curled up on the porch with hot cocoa in your favourite sweater. It was the season of comfort, and you really wished you didn't have to go to work today as you shot your alarm a glance and groaned. You got up fast, the fresh air blowing through your windows urging you to get up and come feel the cooling breeze after such a rough summer all the way, and you didn't stop until you got to your car and saw your estranged neighbour picking up his daily newspaper from the end of the driveway. 

You waved to him as you always did but he didn't return it, his eyes on the ground as he grabbed his paper and headed back inside, and you noticed that he was looking a little rough before the door shut, it opened just enough to allow him entrance yet again. You shrugged and headed for work, your window down and music blaring the whole way there as you breathed in deep. You picked up a morning coffee and sipped at it until you parked, people already waiting to get inside the shopping center like a pack of rabid wolves. You didn't envy the cashiers on mornings like this, your cushy job just stocking shelves allowing you to easily avoid customers' wrath so long as you had more aisles to escape to. 

Today was going to be one of those days again, and you took your sweet time casually unloading your boxes as you traveled back and forth between the storage area and the shelves that were already getting swamped with early fall hunters. They ate up everything that was orange and leafy, the Halloween stuff wouldn't be out for another couple weeks still, so this was their time to get in everything else before that battle began. You caught the eye of your co-worker when two old ladies fought over the cutest wreath in the crafts section, and you both chuckled as you let them be and kept on working.

You were in the kids section redressing the mannequins in sweaters and jeans instead of t-shirts and shorts when you saw him again, and something about him made you pause a little as he perused. He didn't have children, you knew he didn't after being neighbours with him for so many years, but he still hung around the mannequins you'd already dressed with an expression like a father who'd lost his child. You didn't bother him, letting him stare until someone else approached and he anxiously looked over to them and left, and the next time you saw him he was looking amongst the toys until he found a rather cute teddy bear and picked it up. 

Again you didn't bother him, waiting to see if maybe he was getting it for someone or himself, but when a young kid sprinted past him he came back to life and watched him go, his eyes then landing on you. He put the bear back and quickly walked away, and you almost followed him when a younger co-worker walked up to you and made a show of shivering.

‘He's creepy, isn't he?’ she asked even though he might still be within earshot, and you quickly spun to get her to quiet her voice a little. ‘No, really, all he does is look at the kids' stuff and sometimes buy kid clothes, but I've never seen him come in with anyone, isn't that weird?’

‘Maybe he has nephews,’ you dismissed, not wanting to reveal that not only was she right in that he lived alone but that he was also your neighbour; that would get around fast, then they'd be pressing you for information like crazy, and you didn't want that for either of you. ‘Anyway, aren't you supposed to be on register this morning?’

‘Oh yeah, I closed real quick to tell you we need you, it's so busy they're opening up the extras so I'm finding everyone I can to bring to the front until it calms down.’

So much for your cushy shelving job.

You nearly jogged to your station of choice when you saw the lines already stretching out further than they should, the usual call of, ‘I can take whoever's next!’ earning you your own line in seconds flat. You plastered your biggest smile on before starting to ring them up, and by the time the lines thinned again you were sore and so sick of the colour orange. You closed your eyes and cracked your back the moment you got a break when you heard a small noise to your right, and you quickly apologized when you saw that it was him again; he'd found something he wanted, some clothes again just like she'd said, but you didn't say anything about it as you flashed him a more genuine smile and got his total.

‘I take it you didn't want the bear?’ you asked pleasantly, but he was so far away from you mentally that he barely registered your voice with a small, ‘Huh?’ ‘The bear, from earlier, I saw you checking it out, didn't want it in the end?’

‘No, no, sorry I-’ He cut himself off to cough a moment, his eyes scrunched tight as he held his fist in front of his closed mouth so he wouldn't cough all over your station. Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight when you remembered that he hadn't looked too good that morning, and now that you were face to face you could definitely see that he was paler than usual; there was a light beading of sweat on his forehead that only worsened with his coughing, the bags under his eyes were pronounced, and the flush on his cheeks wasn't from the social interaction, it was something else as the cough subsided and he hazily looked up at you. ‘Sorry, I'll just pay and… how much…?’ 

He could barely form a sentence he was so sick, and the clothes remained waiting at the end of your station as his legs then gave out and he crumbled to the floor. Everything stopped as heads turned and whispers filled the air, and you sprinted around to him to make sure he was okay and that he hadn't hit his head on the counter behind him. He hadn't, but he'd banged up his knee pretty good on the way down, and his ankle was twisted uncomfortably underneath him, but he didn't notice either as he started coughing again until he couldn't breathe. ‘Should we call an ambulance?’ someone above you asked, and you shook your head and took his temperature.

‘I'll bring him, I know where he lives for after,’ you said without a care, they could ask you all the questions you want later, right now he needed someone to actually give a damn about him. ‘Hey, go grab me some cold medicine from the pharmacy real quick, I'll pay for it later, and that blue bear from the kids aside,’ you told your nearest co-worker as your supervisor showed up, yourself and a kindly patron with long blonde hair and a friendly smile helping to get him on his feet so he could be taken to his car, you already knew it down to the plate number and you didn't want to leave it here while he was home.

‘What's happening?’ your supervisor asked the moment your neighbour was standing, and it was then it hit you that you knew where he lived, what his car looked like, what his plate numbers were, and his usual habits, but you'd never even learned his name. 

‘This man is sick, I'd like to take him to the doctor's, get him checked out, I'll work extra shifts this weekend to make up for it,’ you pleaded, and he looked between all the waiting faces before sighing and getting out of your way, he wouldn't make a scene over you helping a sick man, that'd be bad for business.

‘Fine, be here all the earlier on Saturday if you don't catch what he's got, could we get someone to sanitize this station so this register can be opened back up?’ he called into the crowd, and you and the other man helped carry him all the way to his car while your co-worker rang up everything and followed after you. You quickly located his car and stole his keys so he wouldn't have to walk so far, your neighbour not even noticing when you reached into his coat pocket to find them. 

He leaned against the patron up until you drove up, and he was carefully sat into the front seat beside you with his things set into the back, a wave given to the man and a whisper for your co-worker to make sure you picked up whatever he got as thanks. She nodded and rushed back in and then you were off, your neighbour slowly coming back to lucidity when he saw he was moving.

‘Where are we going?’ he mumbled softly, and you just barely told him you were heading for the hospital when he started to panic. ‘No, no- I wanna go home, please take me home-!’ he pleaded desperately, his hands weakly pawing at the car door even though you were still moving.

‘Okay! Okay, I'll take you home, please just sit still, we're almost there,’ you relented immediately at his panic, but he didn't calm until he saw that you were telling the truth. He was a wreck by the time you pulled into his driveway, his hands on the door again and forcing you to stop early when it flung open before you could even reach the end. He stumbled all the way to his front door, his hands in his pockets and searching for his keys until his panic grew again. 

You ran up behind him with them in hand, and he flinched when he heard you coming like he expected you to hurt him, which only made you feel worse as you handed them over and allowed him to search for the right one; he looked even sicker from the mental strain, and you gave him a moment to calm down and unlock his door while you grabbed the bag from the car. You did, and he did, but the moment you started to walk back to him he slammed the door in your face, just a glimpse of his returning panic showing on his own.

‘Hey, please open up, I just wanna make sure you're gunna be okay,’ you said to the wood, but the sound of the lock turning was his reply to that.

‘What's in that bag?’ he demanded with another cough, already forgetting that he'd been right there when you'd asked for everything inside.

‘Just some cold medicine,’ you told him but he didn't believe it, his cough getting worse.

‘No, there's too much inside for just that, what else is in there?’ He needed to know, this was really freaking him out for some reason, and you looked at the bag before telling him to go to his kitchen window. You met him there, and he pushed aside the curtains to make sure you weren't lying as you took out the medicine, still sealed, then the clothes he'd left behind, and you were just about to show him the bear when his eyes fluttered shut and he fell again. You heard the loud crash of him knocking whatever was on his counter to the floor with him, and you ran back to the door and tried desperately to open it.

‘Hey! Are you okay? I can help, please just let me help!’ you called to him through the wood, and you pressed your ear against it tight for any sign of movement until the slow sound of the click reached you again. You instantly turned the handle and carefully opened the door up, your neighbour slouched against the wall and breathing heavily in his fever. ‘I need to get you to the hospital, you could really be sick,’ you told him as you brushed aside his bangs and felt his forehead, but he just shook his head and moaned sickly.

‘No, please, don't make me go… I'll be good… I can finish them…’ You could barely make out what he said, but once you replayed it over in your head you felt your chest ache, and it was then you finally looked up and saw the state of his home; the walls were absolutely covered in hand drawn mazes, one big sprawling beast that looked more like a spreading infection than a decoration. The stuff he'd knocked over had been a stack of dirty plates with food still on them, he hadn't been eating much lately because of this cold, and every single window was closed and only making the air stuffier around him.

‘I won't, but tell me where your room is, I'll make you some soup or something while I'm here,’ you offered, but he managed another head shake before his vertigo worsened and he looked ready to vomit.

‘Don't, no more, I can do it…’

There was no use talking to him like this, he was too sick to even register who you were right now, so you left him a moment to look around. Most of his doors led to the wrong rooms, the bathroom, a closet, a second bigger closet, an empty room, and the final led to a locked door. You were about to ask if that was it but he couldn't hear you, his eyes shut tight while he coughed and moaned and rubbed his throat and arm, he must've banged it up as well when he fell. 

You didn't know what to do, he needed proper bed rest and there was no way you'd be able to get him into your house when he was that eager to get home, so you shot him a glance before running across the yard and grabbing a few things. You returned with the sleeping bag you bought for camping but never really used, as well as all three of your couch cushions so he wouldn't be sleeping on the floor, since he only had an armchair of his own in his empty living room. 

For someone who always looked so put together it was surprising how he lived this way, but you again didn't say anything as you made up his bed and ran home again for some supplies. This time you returned with a few spare pillows, some bottled water to keep nearby, and every single can of chicken noodle soup you had left in your cupboards, something he definitely wouldn't have based on the discarded TV dinner trays in his open trash in the kitchen. 

When his makeshift bed was made, you crawled your way back over to him, making sure to be careful not to startle him as he just laid there, breathing. You still didn't know his name, but you really wished you did as you approached, your hands a safe distance away as you whispered to get his attention.

‘Hey, come this way, okay? I just want you to lay down,’ you said gently, and when his eyes opened again it was like he was looking right through you. ‘You need to rest, I'll stay with you until your fever comes down, so please work with me here…’ When he didn't object you attempted to slip his arm around your shoulder, your own going behind his back, and he whimpered the entire way to the cushions; you couldn't wrap your head around it, he'd always been timid, but he never failed to flash you a smile and a wave when he got his mail, although now you were starting to realize how forced it might've been. He wasn't put together at all, he was hanging by a thread in here, all of it was a facade and it only broke because he'd gotten so sick and had no one to look out for him. 

He didn't understand what his bed was supposed to be at first, but as soon as he felt it was soft he laid down, three cushions clearly not enough as his feet hung over the small edge and rested on the floor. You frowned and grabbed his chair cushion, noting the stack of unopened mail next to the ashtray full of old cigarette butts without a word, and brought it over to him, his shoes gently removed so he wouldn't get dirt on either it or your sleeping bag. His socks were a rich red, quite the contrast to everything else being so beige and brown, and when his feet were all tucked in you moved on to his coat.

He wouldn't need it, but he fought you the entire time you tried to get it off of him, like he was afraid of what would happen if he lost it, and you shushed him and brushed his hair out of his eyes until he was calm, his arms easily sliding through the sleeves when he realized in his haze that you weren't going to hurt him and that he was much too hot. You tossed it out of the way, his head set down on your comfiest pillow when you were done, and he sank into it like he'd forgotten what a pillow felt like. That didn't bode well for you, and you shot the locked room another glance as you got up and went to clean up the mess he'd made now that he was comfortable.

You worked fast, he didn't seem to have ants waiting at the ready but you still didn't want to dawdle and give him one more thing to worry about just in case you missed something, and while you were at it you filled up the sink and got ready to do the dishes, just to help him out. 

When that was done you went back to your original task of giving him some cold medicine and getting him on the right track to being healthy again, or, as healthy as he could be due to the lack of proper food he seemed to eat, and you made a mental note to see what he was running short on seeing as he wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. You cracked open the seal on the cap, thankful that your co-worker had grabbed a bottle and not the capsules, he wasn't in a good enough state for any pills, and you filled it up to the line and prepared some water to wash it down as you positioned yourself next to his head.

‘Head, drink this, you'll start to feel better in no time,’ you told him, and he cracked open an eye, looked at the strange coloured liquid in the small, plastic cup, and fully freaked out.

‘No!’ he practically shrieked, swatting it from your hand and spilling it all over you, staining your work shirt purple and making you flinch as the medicinal smell filled your nostrils almost aggressively. He flopped off of the cushions and bumped into his coffee table, completely tangled up in the sleeping bag as he looked around and attempted to figure out where he was, but he was home, and you were just trying to help him, how was his fever so bad that he couldn't get that?’

‘Please, you're getting too worked up, you'll make your fever worse,’ you pleaded with him, the stains ignored in favour of getting this man back onto his cushions. ‘What do you want me to do to prove to you that I'm doing this for you?’

‘Drink it!’ he implored you, pointing to the knocked over and thankfully capped medicine bottle. ‘Show- show me it's okay!’

You weren't sick, but being this close to him might end up making you you were pretty sure, so you decided to humour whatever he asked as long as it got him taking this medicine, laying down, and hopefully having something to eat today. ‘Okay, here I go, it's okay,’ you said slowly as you poured just enough to show him, you didn't want to take a full dose, and you held it up and swirled it around to prove that it was there before grimacing and throwing your head back. 

It'd been a long time since you took any cold meds this way, the liquid caps were so much easier, and you felt like a kid again as you scrunched up your face and grabbed the water you were planning on giving him. You rinsed out your mouth before showing him it was gone, it was safe, and he looked between it and you before deciding that you were telling the truth.

‘Okay,’ he repeated before sniffling, you should really grab him a box of tissues as well soon, and he climbed back onto the cushions and waited for you to pour him some more. He was almost like a child, and you chalked it down to the fever exaggerating his apparent paranoia as you poured again, held it out for him to take, and let him swallow it himself. He mirrored your earlier expression before you handed him some water, and instantly having the liquid seemed to help as he downed more than half the bottle and handed it back to you. You took it and helped him lie back down, and his stomach grumbled the moment he was tucked in again.

‘When's the last time you ate?’ you added him, but he was already starting to fall asleep, all the exertion from his panicking knocking him right out. You went back to the kitchen and did a quick scope of the area, a lot of his food ready-made or instant just as you predicted, and most of everything that wasn't frozen past their due dates. You grabbed the bag you'd used for the mess and started to clear out all the expired food, the bag eventually growing too heavy and needing to be thrown out and replaced before it was even full. You hauled it to the curb and grabbed a new one when you returned, and he hadn't moved an inch as he panted and sweated through the fever.

You took a break to sit with him, a cup full of water next to you as you wet the washcloth you'd found in his sink drawer and dabbed at his forehead with it until he looked a little less pained in his sleep. His face softened and he stopped fidgeting as much as he was cooled, and you saw that he was actually quite handsome when he wasn't panicking. He still whimpered in his sleep like something was troubling him even then, and when you were done cooling him you cracked open the kitchen window and did the dishes as quietly as possible. 

It was strange, being here and cleaning instead of being at work, but you knew you couldn't leave him after all that, and you didn't want to set him off again by sending over a stranger to do this in your place when he'd reacted badly enough to you. When everything in the kitchen was cleaned you gave him a glance, made sure he was still sleeping, and moved onto his bathroom, because you knew if you stopped there then things would go back to stagnating, unfortunately. It was small, a quick clean, but it was clear he wasn't a big fan of chemicals when you found only towels and toilet paper in the ensuite closet. 

You ducked back home again to grab your own, gave the place the deepest clean it'd probably ever had, and let it also air out as you shut the door and kept the sterile smell away from the rest of the house. You couldn't help it, but since you'd started you couldn't stop, and you found yourself tidying his two closets as well, since they were sparsely filled and mostly just needed a bit of organization. You sat on the floor and refolded everything in the smaller one with the shelves, sorting all the knick knacks and containers while you were at it so things would be easier to find and grab, and you took another break to cool him down and make sure he was okay before tackling the bigger closet.

You moved all his coats to either end of the space based on the season, you felt he might appreciate the separation, a little order in his life to make things easier without needing to rifle through the entire bunch when he had this much available space. You did the same to his shoes, although that took less time seeing as he only had two more pairs, and the one looked like he hadn't even worn them yet, like he was saving them until his current pair finally wore down. 

When you were satisfied you checked out the spare room again, making sure there really was nothing in it, and when you confirmed that yes, he just wasn't using this room outside of drawing on the walls, you let your curiosity lead you back to the only door that wouldn't allow you entrance. It was stranger still to have his bedroom locked when he wasn't in it, and you were about to see if you could find the key out of sheer curiosity when you heard him make a sound from around the corner. You immediately returned to him, he was awake and looking around again like he didn't know where he was, and there was a moment of returning panic on his face when he saw you appear and approach him in his own home. 

‘It's just me, how're you feeling?’ You let him get reaccustomed to your presence as you sat back down, giving him as much time as he needed as he checked out the bed you'd made for him in slight confusion.

‘B-better,’ he rasped, clearly still sick, but now lucid enough to see that you weren't a danger to him, although he did linger on the dried and slightly sticky purple stain on your otherwise clean shirt, ‘what're you doing here?’

‘You collapsed at the store where I work so I brought you home, you know you had a bad fever earlier, right?’ you asked, and he felt his forehead with an equally sweaty hand. ‘Here, you're still too warm.’ You gently pushed his hand aside and felt him yourself, definitely still warm, but less so, and you wet the washcloth and attempted to dab at his forehead again before he pulled away.

‘Why are you doing this for me?’ He said it so softly you almost missed it, his eyes not even looking at you as he leaned away from the dripping cloth.

‘I wasn't going to just leave you here,’ you answered honestly, but it didn't make him feel better and you could see it on his face as he gripped the sleeping bag under his pale hands. 

‘You didn't have to, I can take care of myself, y’know, I've been sick before, I've survived worse,’ he muttered, and it didn't sound like a joke in the slightest, his tone concerning you mixed in with what he'd said earlier.

‘So, I should've brought you home and just… what, gone back to work?’ you confirmed with a frown, and he nodded in reply, like that was what he genuinely wanted. ‘You say you can take care of yourself, but you could barely stand, you weren't cleaning up, I wasn't even sure if you were eating or drinking, how could I leave… Bob, if you won't take care of yourself, then who will?’

He looked up at you, meeting your eye in surprise at the mention of his name. ‘How did you-?’

‘Your mail, I saw it on the front of the top envelope, but I didn't open any, don't worry,’ you quickly explained, and he glanced at said mail before turning back to you.

‘I can take care of myself, I always have,’ he mumbled almost to himself as he drew his legs up to his chest, and again he drew your attention to his arm when he rubbed at it.

‘That doesn't mean you have to, though, not on your own,’ you tried, and when he didn't move you shifted a little closer to him and dabbed at his forehead again when you saw how red his face was getting. He didn't flinch away this time, actually leaning into your touch as you cooled him, and when the water ran down his face just a little he closed his eyes and looked more relaxed than he had all day. ‘I know we haven't really talked much, or at all, really, but we've been neighbours for a while now, and… I hope this doesn't sound rude but I haven't seen anyone else around here, do you… do you have anyone you could call in case your fever comes back? You really shouldn't have to do this on your own.’

‘I'll be fine.’ He went to get to his feet without looking at you, and you hoped you hadn't offended him before he staggered on the cushions and nearly toppled over again, he really shouldn't be standing. You hurried up to support him but he didn't want it, now determined to make you leave now that you'd not only called him out on his loneliness, but also seen the state of his place no doubt; no one else had gotten this close and he couldn't have you be the first, and you didn't know whether to leave him or insist on staying as he walked to the door and opened it. ‘Thank you for your help, but I can handle it from here, you should just- go back to work or something.’

‘Wait, at least let me do this,’ you insisted as you headed over to the now clean counter, and you saw the way his eyes looked over everything you'd cleaned when you took out one of the cans of soup you'd brought over. ‘I have a trick for this, now that you're awake I'd like to teach it to you.’ He hesitantly looked you over, his eyes shifting between what you'd done and what you were about to do, and he thought it over before shutting the door again. He nodded and joined you by the counter, and you quickly opened the can before going to his freezer. ‘I know it's not from scratch, but it can really make a plain can of soup that much better,’ you began as you grabbed the few things that had survived his cold, a bag of frozen veggies and some celery added to the counter along with a big pot. ‘I tend to just use the carrots, but I think you could use a little extra, if you don't mind me saying.’

He didn't speak, just watched you work with the odd cough and sniffle as you dumped one can, quickly joined by a second, into a pot along with the veggies and celery after you'd chopped up the still fresh sections. He didn't have much in the way of cooking, clearly he didn't do it outside of his usual meals, and you waited until the pot began to boil before giving in and rushing home. 

He watched the stove for you while you grabbed what you were missing, and when you returned you found him leaning over the pot and breathing in the lovely smells. You quickly diced the onion and added in the parsley, dill, and lemon, and you had no idea how well it was going to work with the peas and green beans but if he liked it then you'd consider this a success. 

You waited until it was all cooked, a quick sip followed by a bigger bite of everything making you moan in hunger, you'd worked up quite the appetite while you'd been cleaning you realized, and he looked less ready to throw you out as you set it to a simmer and grabbed a bowl. Crackers were one of the few things he still had, and you pulled out a sleeve for him after presenting him with the steaming soup, Bob licking his lips and looking ready to cry even though it was such a simple recipe. ‘See, nothing beats homemade, but I can at least spice this up for you, you aren't allergic to any of that, are you? I should've asked first, I'm sorry-’

‘I'm not, but thank you, for asking, I mean,’ he said softly as he lifted the spoon, and he blew on it a couple times before taking his first bite; some colour came back to him as the tastes penetrated his cold and allowed him the simple joy of good, hot soup while sick, and he ignored the crackers completely as he sat on his cushionless chair and scarfed it all down. It was still too hot, and he kept burning his tongue when he didn't want to wait at first, but the bowl was empty before he knew it, and life looked good on him as he looked back over to the stove. ‘Uh…’

You didn't let him ask, gladly refilling his bowl for him as well as bringing him some water, and you weren't sure if it was because you'd opened the window earlier but it certainly felt lighter in there as he dug in again. You smiled at him, seeing him like this was much nicer than whatever was troubling him before, and you considered him okay enough to leave just like he wanted as you gathered your coat and keys.

‘You're leaving?’ You froze mid-step on the way to the door, Bob staring at the floor when you turned back to him. ‘I mean, you aren't gunna have any?’ You hadn't planned on it, you'd made it all for him, but you felt you couldn't resist as you set your things back down and grabbed a second bowl from the cupboard. You didn't fill it as much as his, you still wanted him to have most of it, and you made sure to save him all the good stuff before pulling up a cushion and sitting opposite him on the floor. ‘...It's been a while since I had anything like this, not since I left home,’ he confessed to you as you ate, but you didn't pry, you knew he had more secrets than what you'd seen so far. ‘It's nice, the food and… and getting to eat with someone, I didn't think I'd be able to have something like this again, after…’

Your curiosity was killing you, but you quelled it by reaching across the table and placing your hand over his, not taking it, not making him feel trapped, but just showing him that you were there.

‘Well, anytime you wanna have it again, or any other meal, or even just someone to sit with you when you're sick again, you can always call me, I'm right next door,’ you promised him, and the look of hope on his face was both relieved and tragic at the same time over something so small. 

‘Does that include today, or do you still have to go to work?’ he asked, and when you smiled at him he flipped his hand to hold yours for that extra bit of comfort. 

‘I already told my boss I'd work Saturday for this, I've got nothing else going on today,’ you admitted since there was a very good chance he didn't even remember going to the store with how out of it he was. ‘Oh, that reminds me-’ You grabbed the bag you'd moved to the counter when you cleaned, and he watched you go in a relaxed silence until he saw you pull out what you'd brought him. ‘You nearly left these at the checkout so I wanted to make sure- what's wrong?’

‘Can you forg- it's nothing, thank you, I'll pay you back,’ he said dismissively, nervously, his eyes anywhere but on you or perhaps the items as you frowned and set them down. 

‘It's fine, don't worry about it,’ you replied as you went to join him again, but something had changed, and he now seemed aware that you were in his house, that you were surrounded by the mazes he'd drawn all over the walls. ‘Hey, I may not know what's going on, and you don't have to tell me, but at least for today will you let me finish taking care of you?’ you asked with a small smile, and he looked behind you before deciding that yes, he'd actually like that, his own forced smile mirroring yours before it turned into something soft and genuine.

You liked this smile a lot more you also decided as you got back to your soup, Bob watching you eat before joining you on the floor. His posture was a lot more relaxed than you'd ever seen before as he finished off his second bowl and went for thirds to your delight, and when his fever came back a bit later, he actually allowed you to let him lay his head in your lap while you dabbed at his forehead. 

You didn't know if he'd ever tell you about the mazes, or the room, or why he'd reacted so strongly to you today, but you could be patient with him as you brushed his hair out of the way, his eyes closing as he fell back into an easy sleep in the safety of your arms, the crisp smell of fall and the hearty scent of the soup filling his empty house and making it feel a little more like a home.

[galvanizedfriend]

Any chance for a snippet for the next chapter Yokan? Or any idea when the next chapter is is going to come out ♥️ I’m re reading the Wolf 3 right now and am nearing the end of the updated chapters lol 😭

Hii, friend! ❤️ I can't promise when the next chapter will come because this is turning out to be a monster. 🥲 I'm at about 80% now, and have been making decent progress, but editing this is going to be🙃 So I hope to have it finished soon, but I don't know when. But since you asked, I can give you a little snippet. 😁 This is a scene I had been working on earlier today, Kol and Eve having a 1x1. Don't know if that's the kind of thing you wanted from this chapter, but I was actually having some fun writing this. 😂 Bear in my mind that I have not edited anything, so this could all change. But I hope you enjoy it. 🥲

From TW4x03: "Hello," he greets her, only half her face visible from where she's hiding - quite poorly, mind you - behind the kitchen door. Eve blinks up at him, but stays remains quiet. "Cat eat your tongue?"

She abandons her cover, stepping fully into the kitchen now, all pink pajamas and pigtails.

She is... Big. Kol is definitely not used to following humans' growth spurts from up-close. It's perfectly normal, he supposes, but it still comes as a bit of an irrational shock to see how she went from a little baby to this fully formed mini-person. A mini-Niklaus, nonetheless. Though with none of the malice and aggression and the annoying hubris ingrained into every line of Niklaus' body after a thousand years of living in pure rage. That aside, the similarity is uncanny. It's easy to forget there was once a sweet boy somewhere before the moody tyrant took over.

"My mom says I shouldn't talk to strangers," she tells him as though reciting words she's heard countless times before.

"Ouch. Out for blood, are you?" he retorts flatly. Her wariness doesn't bother him as it seemed to bother Niklaus earlier. In Kol's experience, it's smart to remain watchful around this family. "I'm not a stranger, though. I'm your coolest uncle. My name is -"

"Kol," she finishes for him. "I know."

He smiles. "See? You do know who your coolest uncle is."

"I don't really remember you, though."

A frown appears on her little brow, as though she's straining to remember, sweeping through her admittedly short tapestry of memories after any moments the two of them might have shared. The fact that he knows she won't find any does cause a bit of a pang, he must admit.

Kol doubts he would've spent much time around his niece anyway, seeing as he was always trying to free himself of his family's clutches, but the reasons why he didn't are still a sore spot. Niklaus didn't even trust him enough to tell him about his daughter at first. And when he finally did, Kol ended up murdered by another one of his brothers before he could even be properly introduced to Eve.

"Yes, well. A sore shame if you ask me. I'm rather delightful," he remarks, detracting from the bitterness. "Isn't it a bit past your bed time anyway? Are you up to no good, by any chance?"

"What are you going to do if I am?"

Kol coughs up a laugh at her unexpected show of defiance. "That depends," he bargains. "Are you planning on putting a frog under your uncle Elijah's pillow?"

Eve giggles. "No."

"Filling Rebekah's pillowcase with flour?" More giggles. "Oh, I know! You're going to spread spicy pepper on your father's toothbrush."

That gets a full-out belly-laugh from her, blue eyes twinkling with delight at the thought of playing pranks on her family. Kol likes her more and more by the second.

"That's mean!" she exclaims in-between waves of laughter.

"You say that because you haven't seen his face. Then it's just hilarious. But if anyone asks, I never told you that." He punctuates it with a wink.