#and decided two of my dogs? no. only one. two would kick my ass

[comicnerd557]

The one where Jake tells the squad how he met his wife

Jake Seresin x reader

A/N: Sooooo, this was supposed to be a blurb and it's almost 6k words. It's fine. Enjoy! There may be a part two if there's interest, just let me know!

Warnings: Jake is accidentally an asshole, plus sized!reader, reader is a female, cursing, sexual innuendos and dirty thoughts but no smut, even then, MDNI!!!

as always, a thanks to my bestie @dalamjisung who introduced me to Top Gun Maverick in the first place. Love you boo!!

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Okay but like, imagine Hangman, cocky, badass, can’t-wipe-the-smirk-off-his-face, Hangman, married

Most would probably picture a woman equally as badass as he is, tough as nails, spits literal fire and can’t go an hour without jumping her hubby’s bones

That’s  certainly what the rest of the Dagger Squad thought when Hangman let it slip he was married

“Someone married you, Seresin?” Payback was both shocked and horrified. Shocked someone accepted his proposal, horrified they hadn’t changed their fucking mind yet

It was no secret Hangman was a lot to be around, and while, yes, he had relaxed a bit with age, he was still a goddamn handful. He had stopped flirting with every skirt he saw about three years back, but….the squad just assumed he got tired of the playboy life and decided to go bachelor

“You don’t wear a ring.” Phoenix was skeptical, as usual, sipping her beer with narrowed, observant eyes. Without wasting a beat, Jake reached under the collar of his shirt, grabbed his dog tags, and held them up

Sure enough, in between the tags sat a simple silver band. “I wanted gold, but, the Mrs said she would sooner rip her finger off than wear gold. Clashes with her skin tone apparently.” He snorted

More shocked silence. It was all true. Jake Seresin was married. “How long?” Bob questioned. He hid his shock much better than the others, something Jake was thankful for

Hangman paused to think. “It’ll be 11 months in two weeks.” Jaws dropped. Jake’s ego took a hit. He laughed, a bit awkward. “I’m a bit offended, y'all are so surprised. I took a month off for the honeymoon…You guys didn’t think anything of it?”

“Honestly, thought you were on a mission, I swear to go-Wait, hang on, why the hell didn’t we get invites?!” Coyote’s protest was met with rallied cries of confusion. The entire squad was upset. “It was just me, her, and our folks. Private, small, quiet.”

Hangman? Quiet? Private? The man was like a walking disco ball. He fucking loved attention. Whenever the thought of Jake getting married crossed through heads, it was always assumed it would be a huge spectacle with fireworks and maybe a dance crew

The squad was silent for a full minute, processing the information they had just learned. It was a quiet night at the Hard Deck too, meaning there wasn’t even the chatter of strangers to fill the void. “Oh my god, someone say something! It’s not that big of a deal! I’m fucking 34, none of you expected me to be married? Really?!” Jake threw his hands up, laughing

Finally, shockingly, Rooster spoke. “We’re happy for you, really bro, just…What’s she like? How’d you guys meet? Name, age, job, we wanna know.”

How did they meet? A smile spread across Jake’s face before he could stop it. It wasn’t Jake Seresin’s usual cocky, condescending smirk. It was a genuine smile, sappy, sweet…and weirdly soft. None of them had ever seen anything like it

“Alright little ones,” Jake teased, sitting down across from the squad. Part of him worshiped the attention. “Gather around and Papa Jake will spill the beans.” Dramatically clearing his throat, Hangman started his story. “It all started three years ago…”

Jake had been absolutely fucking beat. The San Francisco sun was nothing to laugh about, and Maverick had, once again, kicked their ass in training. Hangman only added fuel to the fire, running his mouth, and as a consequence, he had to do double the amount of pushups the others did

“Fuckin’ ridiculous.” He grumbled, slamming the door of his truck shut with a huff, head falling forward onto the steering wheel dramatically. He had spent the entire day working his ass off, didn’t even have time to eat. Jake was fucking starving

Too lazy to cook, the pilot grabbed his phone, googled ‘food near me’, and clicked on the very first one, allowing the directions to guide him without even check where the hell he was going

Imagine his delight, then, when GPS led him to a quaint, soft looking bakery. The parking lot was empty, causing Jake to mumble a quiet thanks to the Big Guy upstairs before hopping out of his truck, making his way inside

The bell on the door jingled as he pushed it open, and the rush of ice cold air conditioning felt like the sweetest relief hitting him square in the face. He groaned aloud, content, tense muscles slowly relaxing the more the scent of baked goods invaded his nose

It wasn’t overly sweet, thank god, but just sweet enough to lure even the pickiest eater through those doors. Why this place wasn’t crowded, Jake didn’t know. Were the workers rude? Ugly? Maybe the food was unsafe to eat, leaving people glued to their toilets for hours on end

“Hi there!” A voice chirped from behind the counter, causing Jake to finally reopen his eyes after closing them in bliss. Like Cupid’s arrow had struck him, Hangman froze in place. Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck.

Never before had Jake Seresin, Hangman himself, been rendered speechless by a woman. Until now. “....Are you okay sir?” The heat had been especially brutal today…Maybe this guy had heat stroke and was just wandering, confused?

Jake managed to put one foot in front of the other and make his way up to the register. Thank fucking god he didn’t trip. Now, it was time to flirt. “....Doughnut.” His brain had been left at the base, clearly, cause that was the only fucking word Jake managed to squeeze out

You smiled, barely biting back a giggle. “Did you want a doughnut or…?” Jake blinked, forcing himself to fucking think. “Your dress. It has doughnuts. It’s cute, very fitting. Are you the owner or just a really dedicated employee?” Yes. Yes! The AC had finally cooled his head enough to think straight

“The owner.” You answered, smile turning a bit shy, hands soothing down the front of your dress. “It’s actually one of many pastry themed dresses I own. Today we have a special on doughnuts, so I figured my doughnut dress would be a good way to advertise that.”

“I’ll take 'em all.” Excuse you? Huh? Jake’s brain was screaming at his mouth for moving too quick. It seemed you were just as shocked, eyes going wide like dinner plates, and fuck, Jake’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of your visible excitement. “Really?! You haven’t even tried them yet!” You had fussed over him in a way that had Jake making up his mind. He would buy every single fucking doughnut if it kept that smile on your face

He just nodded. “Yes ma’am. I’m actually a Navy Pilot, and my squad just got back from a highly classified, super dangerous mission, so, we’re celebrating.” He explained, taking the chance to brag about how super cool awesome brave he was. “Feeding soldiers is like feeding a damn zoo. It’ll take all these doughnuts and more to fill ‘em.” Again, your smile grew, now fully beaming

“Take a seat! Here, you can have this one on the house while you wait. I’ll get everything packed up and I can help you carry them out to your ca-Oh i’m gonna need to build more boxes.” Now a busy bee, Jake watched as you hurried around behind the counter, packing up every single doughnut you had in the store, including some fresh from the oven. By the time you finished the pile of boxes was almost as tall as you

His wallet would hate him for a while, but the crew would be eternally grateful, especially if the rest of the doughnuts were as good as the one you had given him to munch on while he waited. “I knew this area was filled with pilots, but I hadn’t had any visit yet. Thank you for your service!” You giggled, grinning ear to ear. “I added a military discount, and combined with our sale, you saved a lot of money! Your total is…” The number was in the triple digits. Jake still didn’t hesitate as he tapped his card. After the beep, he reached into his wallet, pulled out a stack of cash, and dumped it into the tip jar

“Oh, oh no!” You immediately protested. “I can’t accept that! You’re really saving me, if the doughnuts don’t sell, they get tossed and it’s a really big waste. Honestly, I can’t take th-” You reached into the jar to take the cash out. Jake reached out, grabbing your wrist, and fuck, the instant zap was felt by the both of you

He smiled, sweet, calm. “Keep it. These are the best damn doughnuts I’ve had in my life. I owe it to ya.” Hangman managed to wink before grabbing half the pile of boxes, promising to come back for the second half after he loaded them up

The next day, when he showed up to work, he made the new trainees carry the doughnuts into the break room. Why the hell should he do the work? He bought the damn things after all

“Is it someone’s birthday or something? Someone die?” Rooster asked, pink sprinkles falling from his frosting covered mustache. “Whatever it is, I hope it happens again. These fucking rock.” Fanboy groaned, mouth full. Jake just smirked. “You’re welcome. I was feeling generous, figured I would remind all of you why you love me so much.” He mused. Everyone stopped chewing

“...They’re poisoned. Everyone go throw up.” Phoenix, despite her words, finished the doughnut she had in hand

Jake just rolled his eyes. “I think you mean “Thank you Jake, you’re so handsome and kind and funny and smart, oh my god any girl would be lucky to have you!” Right?” Maverick saved her from having to respond, calling for the team to gather up for a meeting

That afternoon, Jake returned to the little bake shop on the corner, prepared to ask for Doughnut Girl’s number…Except she wasn’t there. Someone else was behind the counter. Jake ended up just buying a single cookie before leaving, head hung low

The routine continued for a week straight. It got to the point where Jake asked about the owner. The teenage employee behind the counter just grinned. “Oh she works morning shift most of the time! Usually gets off by three.” Fuck. Jake almost never got off before six. Another cookie bought, another disappointed look as he walked out

For a few days, Hangman tried to move on. He really did. After picking up three skirts in three days, he still had you on his mind. The girls moaning obnoxiously under him looked nothing like you. They were tiny, practically toothpicks. You filled out your dress, body soft and curved. They had a thigh gap. Yours jiggled with every step in a way that hypnotized Jake. He gave up after the third night

He woke up extra early the next morning and set out, determined to complete his mission. He was gonna get your number, take you out, and fuck, maybe even marry you one day, who knew? He was feeling a little crazy

So, at 5:45 the next morning, Jake pulled into the parking lot of your bakery, turned off the engine of his truck, fixed his hair, and walked inside. “Welcome to The Cozy Oven!” Your voice was like music to his ears. No more bored teens or sweet but confused old ladies. Finally, he was reunited with his baker

“Oh it’s you! Mira said you came looking for me.” Was he delusional or were you teasing him? There was a glint in your eyes Jake couldn’t quite place, and the way you leaned over the counter seemed to prove his theory. You were so teasing him. Oh it was on. “You got me hooked on your sweets then disappeared on me.” He mused, smirking, palms flat against the counter. “The sweets have still been here.” You point out, giggling

Again. Fucking music his ears. “Tastes a bit sweeter when I’m looking at you.” Jake’s voice dipped low, leaning in a little closer. In an instant, your cheeks went hot, the tips of your ears darker in color from all the blood rushing to your face at once. “O-oh, you think so?” No longer could you meet Jake’s eyes, though, the smile didn’t leave your face. “Don’t tell me you’re a shy thing. Guys must come in every hour to beg for your number.”

At first, you laughed, like Jake had just told a super funny joke. When you noticed he wasn’t laughing, you stopped. “Oh, you were serious?” You weren’t being sarcastic or rude. Just genuinely confused. “I can count the times I’ve been hit on by strangers on one hand. I mean, my best friend calls me her wife, but, that’s just her thing. She’s married.”

Now, it was Jake’s turn to be confused. How the hell were you not married with three kids and another on the way? He wouldn’t say it aloud (yet) but fuck, you were like, ideal wife material. He had only recently started thinking about settling down and getting married and you checked off his checklist fucking perfectly

And god those hips were down right sinful, and fucking meant for holding and having babies. Not that Jake’s head was filled with thoughts of bending you over the counter and stuffing you full of cream instead of you stuffing the doughnuts. Definitely not

If his standard issue pants were a little tighter than usual, that’s not his fault

“Are they blind, or am I the first single man to walk into this bakery?” This man was single? Fucking. How. He had made your entire month buying every doughnut in the bakery and had done so with a grin and a sweet, somehow not creepy, wink. The bakery was doing…okay. You had just opened your doors a few months ago, and while your head was still above water, you were getting tired of treading really quickly

The pilot had the biggest order you had received so far, and holy hell that tip was enough to even buy that new super fancy cat food for your cat. Sniffles had been almost as grateful as you had. Almost. She never said as much, obviously

“Well, single men walk into this bakery often, so…You must be blind.” You giggled again. Jake laughed, tossing his head back. “I assure you, sweets, my eyes are just fine. They wouldn’t let me fly if they weren’t. I’d be stuck on the ground, or worse, the backseat.” He shuttered with over exaggerated disgust, playing it up to hear you laugh again

It worked. He beamed. “At the risk of making myself look like a complete jackass…” Jake leaned in, dramatically serious. “Can I have your number? I’d like to prove to you exactly why those men are blind as bats.” Jake let his eyes wander, slow, drinking in your frame like he was sipping the finest whiskey in the world. Just as slow, your smile dropped

As sweet as he seemed, the way he stared…Men usually wanted one thing. “I don’t even know your name.” You responded, voice quieter than he had heard it before. Jake, being Jake, chalked it up to your close proximity, so distracted by those pretty lips moving he failed to hear the cautious, almost anxious tone in your voice. “Lieutenant Jake Seresin. At your service.” There it was. His secret weapon. Every woman he ever met (Phoenix didn’t count she’s weird) had practically tossed their panties at him whenever he dropped that line

Women went nuts for men in uniform. One mention of his rank and they would fall to their knees. “I fly for Top Gun. Have you heard of it?” Everyone had. Jake was really pulling out the big guns now, but if he went to work without your number, he may just fly into the mountains for fun. Much to his shock, and dismay, you shook your head. Gone was that cute, sunny smile from before. Now, you just seemed…withdrawn

“I thank you again for your service, Lieutenant, but I’m afraid I don’t give out my personal number to customers.” A fatal shot. You went for the kill by reaching for the business card on the counter. “But if you ever need catering, please don’t hesitate to call the shop and put in your order. Would you like to buy something? I’m afraid I don’t have time to chat.”

A lie. You had all the time in the world. Mornings were always a bit slow. But with Jake’s intentions clear, you weren’t interested in entertaining his chubby chaser fantasies anymore. What other reason would he have for asking you out? Most girls around this area were tiny gym babes the size of twigs. While many preferred that, there were always men out there who thought you’d be a nice easy lay due to your size. They didn’t have to put in effort, clearly you would be desperate enough

Though you didn’t get hit on often, a blind person could see the hunger in Jake’s eyes as he stared at your body. In his eyes, he was admiring fine art. In yours, he was thinking of how easy it would be to hit and quit. Besides, he had another thing working against him. Military men never really wanted a relationship. They wanted a fuck, a stress reliever

Admittedly, it was a little upsetting. Jake had seemed so kind, but, the more you thought about it, the more you realized how his pretty face and sweet words had tricked you into assuming his entire personality after one fucking meeting. Pathetic. Maybe you did need to get laid. How long had it been since you pulled that little box out from under your bed again?

Jake’s grin dropped. He hadn’t been turned down in….well, ever. Honestly. Maybe when he was freshly twenty and still learning how to flirt? What had he done wrong? “Oh yeah, of course.” He stood up straight, smile now much less flirty and much more polite. “Uh, I’ll just…Take one of those.” He pointed to a random pastry in the case, tapping his card before, once again, leaving a hefty tip in the jar

“Have a good one, miss.” Jake walked out of the bakery in a daze, a frown tugging at his lips. He knew you were different, he knew that the minute your hand grazed his and pure electricity filled the air, but not even a number? Really? He wasn’t upset with you, of course, just confused and disappointed in himself

Maybe it was delusional, maybe the lack of oxygen to his brain had gotten to him, but Jake had already been imagining the second, third, and fourth date before the first one had even taken place. He made it to work ten minutes early with an uneaten cookie in hand. He passed it to Coyote the moment he asked about it, claiming he wasn’t that hungry anymore

Everyone noticed Jake was a little quieter that day. He wasn’t as cocky or boisterous, keeping his comments to a minimum, not even complaining when Maverick had him with a tone within the first half hour of their dog fight, didn’t push back when Phoenix made fun of him

“Alright what the hell is wrong with you?” Bradley had been trying to rile Jake up all day. Jake hadn’t indulged the man once. They were in the shower room now, Maverick having ordered them all to hose off after they had spent nearly an hour running through a mud soaked obstacle course, part of a new training program meant to help agility just in case they were out of their planes and behind enemy lines

Payback shut his locker, towel wrapped around his waist. “You didn’t even take the bait when Bob tripped over his own feet. Bob. You love teasing Bob!” Jake just sighed, head leaned back against his locker, annoyance clear on his face. “What’d you strike out or something? Get shot down?” Rooster had, unknowingly, hit the nail on the head. He realized as much as soon as the look in Hangman’s eyes turned murderous

“Oh my god he did. Our Hangman is heartbroken. He’s grown up so much.” Bradley sniffled dramatically. “Remember when a rejection just meant he moved on to the next girl?”

“I don’t get rejected.” Jake huffed, slamming open his locker, grabbing his comb to fix his hair, not because it needed fixing, but because he couldn’t look at that stupid smug look on Rooster’s face anymore. “Bradley,” Javy, his best friend of over ten years, finally spoke up. “Leave him be. Clearly this girl isn’t just a girl. Wanna tell us about it bro?”

Not really, if he were being honest. Jake kept his mouth closed, weighing the pros and cons of telling the truth versus denying everything. On one hand, the guys on his squad lived for teasing each other, digging under the others skin with glee. On the other, there was no one on earth Jake trusted more than the men in the locker room with him. They had saved his ass time and time again, and he had done the same for them. Maybe, just maybe, they could offer some solid advice

“There’s this woman, she ain’t no girl, this is a full bodied, grown woman, and she’s nothing like the skirts I usually chase. But she’s in my fuckin’ head and I asked for her number this morning. She turned me down. Turned me down cold.” He huffed, tossing his comb back into his locker with a frown. “And I ain’t mad at her. It’s my own fault, I think I came across a bit…”

“Pervy?”

“Sex addicted?”

“Menacing?”

“Okay everyone but Bob can go fuck themselves.” Jake scowled. “But, yeah. I guess. I don’t know. I gave her the line that usually makes panties fly off and she just shut down.�� Bradley snorted, rolling his eyes. “The Lieutenant line? Really? Look man, we all use our uniforms to get into beds, but if you want something more you’re gonna have to actually work for it. Flowers, chocolates, sweet talk about something other than her ass. That sort of shit.”

Jake had never felt so fucking old. He had to learn how to pitch woo now? Really? “She worth the effort?” Bob asked quietly. Jake paused before shrugging. “My heart gets funny around her. Yeah, she makes me hard in my fuckin’ cargo pants,” Payback groaned in disgust. “But it’s more than that.” Silence took over the room. Once again, Jake was left with his thoughts

“We’ll help.” Reuben nodded, determined. Jake let out a loud groan. “Oh my god, I cannot get help picking up a woman from you guys, you’re supposed to come to me for that.” His ego would never recover from this. Ever. “We come to you for help getting laid, you come to us for help getting a date. Seems fair to me.”

And so, Operation Get-Hangman-His-Date started. They looped Phoenix in almost immediately, rightly deciding her female perspective might just be useful. They spent the night at the Hard Deck coaching Hangman on how to be a true gentleman. Bob got the honor of spraying him with a spray bottle every time he so much as glanced away from a woman’s face after winning a game of pool

The next morning, Jake was ready. He had the day off from training, his only commitment was a beach day with the squad around two, but until then, he was free to charm his way into your heart. He was dressed in his civilian clothes, his hair styled to look like he had just rolled out of bed despite having worked on it for nearly half an hour

In his hand, there was a bouquet of flowers, small, just five or so. Natasha suggested they start simple. “She’s gonna think you’re a stalker otherwise.” She explained. “Or some majorly obsessed creep, which, you are, but, at least you’re not the murder and dump the body type.”

The bell jingled as he stepped inside. Today’s dress was pie themed, and in the display counter were a handful of different flavored pies. The flavor of the day was apple, apparently. You were in the middle of bringing out new product, making everything neat and perfect. When you locked eyes with Lieutenant Jake Seresin, your sweet, cheery smile turned awkward. Great. He was back

“Ma’am,” He greeted, the southern drawl more obvious in his words. “Women love a southern accent.” Javy had explained. “Use it.” So he did. Jake didn’t work to hide the Texas drawl. “I think I maybe came off a bit strong yesterday.” You snorted quietly, amused. A bit? The guy was practically making eye contact with your nipples

Still, you let him continue…Mainly because he was a good customer who could bring a whole lot of business if he ever decided to order catering. “I wanted to apologize.” Jake paused, trying to remember what he had been instructed to say last night. “You’re very, very attractive, and god knows I would love to take you back to my place and-”

He was losing you again. Jake stopped himself, clearing his throat with a bashful smile. “Anyway, that’s not why I asked for your number.” You looked at him skeptically, cautious. “You wouldn’t look at my eyes, just my body.” Though your words cut deep, mainly because of the truth behind them, your voice was soft like a cloud

No matter how nervous or upset you were, you spoke to Jake like he would cry if you yelled. He had never been approached so….softly before. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I just, I ain’t ever been interested in a woman like you before and-” Immediately, your face dropped into a sharp scowl. No more soft. No more gentle. “A woman like me?”

Jake knew that tone. That was the tone of an angry woman. Alarm bells went off in his head. “T-that’s not how I meant to say it. I just meant you’re not my usual type.”

Fuck

Fuck

Oh my god

Did he just say that?

You looked…irate. To say the very least

“Okay mr, I can tolerate you staring at my tits, I can tolerate you coming back in here sniffling with flowers in hand trying to make up for staring, but I won’t tolerate this. I get it, you’ve never been with a fat chick before, not used to putting in all this effort for a lay. You will not come into my bakery, my business, and tell me you’re acting like this because you don’t know how to handle a woman my size. I’m gonna respectfully ask you to leave.”

Somehow, in the span of just mere moments, Jake had fucked everything up. Now, as he sat on the beach, beer in hand, he did everything he could to ignore the scolding from Phoenix. He had told Javy what happened in private, but, of course, Payback had overheard everything, and within minutes, news had spread to the whole goddamn squad

“I cannot believe you, Hangman! You basically just admitted you’d never usually go for her! I mean, I knew you could say some dumb shit but you’re not a dumb guy, so why the hell did you act like a fucking Florida frat boy?”

Why did he? Jake didn’t know. The look of hurt that had flashed over your face before the anger set in had been haunting him since this morning

Jake stood, mumbled something about grabbing another beer, before taking a walk down the beach. He needed some time by himself, some time to think, to breathe without the squad shaming him for his fuck up. It was the third drink in that an idea hit him square in the face…Right as he walked into a sign advertising the 50th anniversary of the Hard Deck

Vaguely, he remembered Penny mentioning that she needed to find a good bakery to make a cake and enough cupcakes to feed an army. He stood, shaking the sand off, and ran top speed into the Hard Deck. “Penny! My favorite bartender!” He beamed, tossing an arm over her shoulders. “Hangman, my favorite headache. Why are you here? We aren’t technically open, you know.”

That never mattered. The Dagger Squad was always welcome, they knew that. Penny had an open door policy when it came to her team. “You still looking for a caterer?” He asked, smile wide and confident. Penny nodded. “Yeah, I’m having a hell of a time finding someone willing and able to make so much on my budget. I can’t afford to break the bank.” Hangman’s grin grew wider

“What if I told you, I know a place?”

It was almost 6 pm when you got the call. Eight dozen cupcakes, and a two tiered cake celebrating the anniversary of the most popular Navy bar in Cali. Their budget was low, but the woman on the phone was just too sweet to turn down, and this was the perfect chance to get the Cozy Oven’s name out there and known

A deal was made, the money was sent over, and two days later, you and your entire team were baking like mad men, scrambling around to get everything ready and fresh for the hungry customers at the Hard Deck. At the same time, the Dagger Squad was running around getting the bar ready. Maverick had asked them to help, and none of them even considered refusing

An hour before opening, the Cozy Oven delivery van pulled up in front of the hard deck. Jake, Javy and Bradley had all gone on a run for the last bit of party supplies they needed, leaving Bob, Reuben, Natasha and Mickey to finish setting up what they could. Penny had told you not to worry about bringing a team to carry all the sweets in. She had her own.

Within minutes, everything was carried in, and while you knew there were dozens of Navy bars around, part of you was still nervous Jake would show up. “I can’t thank you enough.” Penny had trapped you in a conversation, seemingly unaware of how eager you were to leave

“Honestly, when Jake recommended you, I wasn’t sure but then he went on ranting and raving about your food and-” You stopped her, confused. “Jake…Recommended my bakery?” You had honestly figured he wouldn’t ever bring up the bakery again after how harsh you had turned him down. Penny nodded. “Oh yeah, he loves your doughnuts, says he’s put on ten pounds since finding you. Does him some good, I think.”

You left a few minutes later, confused, and very, very conflicted. Had you misjudged the whole situation? Had you misjudged Jake entirely? Why the hell would he recommend you for catering after everything?

The rest of your night was spent cleaning the bakery top to bottom. You couldn’t sleep when your head was so full of thoughts and when you couldn’t sleep, you needed to do something productive, or you would loose your fucking mind

By opening the next morning, you still hadn’t slept. Your hands were raw from scrubbing, back sore from mopping, but you still opened the bakery with a smile on your face, no matter how painted on that smile was

For a fourth time, Jake Seresin walked into the Cozy Oven. This time, he had no flowers, no styled hair and no practiced words. He approached the counter calmly. “Can I have a dozen doughnuts please?” He requested, perfectly polite

This could have been a perfectly normal customer interaction, an average experience…But there was one question burning the tip of your tongue. “Why did you tell Penny to cater from my bakery?” Half way through loading the doughnuts, you blurted it out

Jake paused, blinking rapidly before furrowing his brows. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re an amazing baker. I was the idiot. My friend needed a good baker and I knew one. Just cause I got rejected don’t mean I’m gonna go around bad mouthing the best bakery in California.”

The look on your face softened. Fuck. Stupid Jake and his stupid effect on your stupid heart. “And I am really, really sorry for what I said the other day. I uh…My friends tried to coach me on how to romance a woman instead of seduce. Guess I’m not a very good student.”

“You wanted to romance me?” The thought seemed shocking to you. Jake nodded. “I wasn’t lying when I told you, you’re damn beautiful. I’m just an idiot who never even thought about how to ask a lady on a date. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, when I told you I’d never gone after a woman like you before. I haven’t, and yet, you’re the only damn woman that’s been stuck in my mind this long.”

Jake hadn’t come here to bear his soul, but here he was, unable to stop talking, rambling like some nervous teenager all over again. He was stopped by a soft hand over his mouth. “Jake,” Slowly, your smile grew. “Ask me for my number again.”

His eyes went wide. Your hand moved away, allowing him to speak again. Heart racing like a horse in the Kentucky Derby, Jake did as asked. “Can I have your number, sweets?”

You reached behind the counter, grabbed that same business card that had shut him down so harshly before, and scribbled something on the back. “Ask me on a date.” You instructed him again. Hangman smirked. “You’re certainly a bossy thing, aren’t you?” He teased lightly

“Would you like to go on a real, romantic date with me, Sweetheart?” Your heart melted. Fuck. That accent really did something. Combined with those soft green eyes and there was no way you could deny him again. “Give me an hour notice before you pick me up, and I’ll be there.”

Jake leaned back in his chair, smiling. He had finished his story, and now, the Dagger’s knew exactly how he had met his wife. Three beats of silence passed before chaos exploded.

“THE GIRL YOU NEEDED ADVICE ON IS YOUR WIFE?!”

“I DIDN’T THINK ANYTHING CAME FROM THAT MAN YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING.”

“How the fuck did he get married before Bob? Bob is prime husband material.”

Jake just smirked, finishing his drink. “Sorry boys, Phoenix, but I gotta get home. The Mrs gets real grumpy if she falls asleep alone, and I’m too good of a husband to make my wife unhappy.”

[skepticalkoi-catastrophe]

𝕊𝕜𝕦𝕝𝕝 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝔹𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤

Pairing: Sung Jinwoo x Reader

Genre: Mutual Friendship, Hinted Mutual Crush, College Au

⚠️Warnings⚠️: None

Word count: 769

𓆩 ♡ �� [10:45 PM] - "Should I be worried that you know how to replicate fake blood this well? I probably should be, right?" Jinwoo jokes as he enters your dorm room.

You decided to be a killer playboy bunny for the Halloween party tonight. The five-kitchen ingredient mixture drips from your neck as only moments ago you finished your makeup.

"If you want to get bloody tonight, I've got enough to share." You chuckle, placing the bowl of red liquid on your desk. "Where's your costume?"

Originally, it was supposed to be you and your best friend. She got hit with a bad stomach virus the night before and was still in recovery.

He offered to be your plus one once you gave him the news. It's somewhat of a favor he owed you from before. He's dressed in a black cotton button-down, partially unbuttoned, with matching black jeans. Black high-top Chuck Taylor's on his feet.

"My package got delayed, so no Ghostface mask. You're my plan B."

"Plan B?"

He takes a seat at your desk, crossing his arms as he leans back into your chair. "You've got any ideas?"

You squint, trying to picture a look on him. Something that would take no time at all.

"A Skeleton." You snap your fingers, having an 'aha' moment.

His mouth curled into a smile as he nodded, lifting his shoulder in a half shrug. Digging through your makeup bag, whatever wasn't in there was strewn about.

Your posters, tapestries, and post-it notes with reminders and daily affirmations on them catch his attention. Everything had a similar color palette, from your sheets to your laundry basket to your rug beside your bed. It made him wish he'd stop by more often.

"Do you want me to paint your neck and chest too?" You asked, sizing him up as you organized your brushes and body paints.

Your question hangs in the air. He hasn't had his face painted since he was a child. Tonight was the one night he could be truly himself. Carefree and stupid like every other twentysomething. Based on your makeup alone, he knows he's in good, capable hands.

Jinwoo scoots forward in your chair.

"Yeah, go all out. Make me a skeleton."

You smirk, standing between his legs. Raking your fingers through his hair, you attach two larger hair clips. His exposed forhead meets a cooling sensation from your primer. Its slushy to then tacky consistency threw him off.

You trace a black outline around his eye sockets, whispering for him to close his eyes. He does so, allowing you to deepen the shadows. Drawing on his nasal cavities and each tooth across his upper and lower lip, you're deathly close. Your thumb smudges away any mistakes, much to his confusion. He almost thought you were doing it on purpose. Almost.

Down his neck, your thin brush goes as he twitches a tad. "Are you ticklish?" You take a go at him. There was no reply. He merely blinks and scoffs.

You keep going, carving out each spinel vertebrae. From the cervical to the thoracic vertebra, brushstrokes flowed into his ribcage. His toned chest surprises but doesn’t shock you. Guess all that excessive training paid off.

"Tell me, what made you take this route this year?" A cheeky grin plastered across his face. "Never would've thought you were one for the classics."

"Classic easy access, you mean?" You joke, applying the white body paint next. It fills in the shaped skull of his face like an X-ray. Your brush strokes earn another twitch out of him.

"Jin, quit moving, or you're gonna look like shit." You huff, sucking your teeth.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I can't help it. It feels weird."

His mischievous glint in his eyes trails up and down your neck and exposed chest.

"I guess I'm playing guard dog tonight, too? All things considered?"

"If you're looking for an excuse to kick some guy's ass for looking at me too hard, be my guest. You don't need my permission."

You straightened your stance, making sure every marking was symmetrical. Up went your thumb. It splits his face into two halves. Closing your right eye, your tongue sticks out from between your lips.

He leans his head to the left, taking your thumb in his larger hand and pulling you forward.

"Whaddaya doing?"

"Admiring my work, you're one hell of a canvas." You thread a hand through his hair, removing the hair clips. His bangs flow back where they were.

Jinwoo rises from your chair. His hand never lets go of yours, nor does he break his gaze.

"Paint me again sometime, yeah?"

If you enjoyed it, please comment, like, and reblog!

Divider created by @cafekitsune

A/N - HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃

[brittle-doughie]

*Y/N cookie was kidnapped by a beasts for wedding, all five awoken heroes is on their mission to save them and fight the other beasts to kick their asses for wanting to do what they wanted to to save the world from the awful threat and get back the peace*

Pure Vanilla: We need to hurry, my friends! Who knows what beasts would do with Y/N cookie if we too late!

Golden Cheese: Argh, those rotten thieves! How dare they steal my treasure and think they can get away with this!? I swear that they would shower in my golden radiance and spears once we get there!

White Lily, eyes darkened: Yeah... But even if we would be done, would it be enough? We could do a lot of things to them... They are immortal, so, we could drown them, using vines to strangle, beat them up, take away their soul jams and force them to experience humiliation as they slowly succumb to feeling of weakness and-

Dark Cacao: Focus! We have no second to waste!

Hollyberry: He is right, friends! What is most important right now is Y/N Cookie's safety! What we do afterwards-

*As ancients keep on running, Y/N cookie completely unharmed, was eeating candy-dog and walking peacefully notices ancients and greets them*

Y/N cookie, waving: Hi, guys!

Hollyberry, unaware: Hello, Y/N cookie! *keeps on going* -is what we decide later and-

*Ancients quickly come to realization and instantly stop, they turn around and see Y/N cookie, completely okay. It's wasn't illusion, as they would've guessed immediately*

Pure Vanilla runs to them to check for injuries: Y/N cookie! You are okay! Are you hurt? They didn't anything to you!?

Y/N Cookie: No, I am fine, really! They actually took a good care of me.

Golden Cheese: But how in the world you escaped? There is no way they would just simply let you go so easily.

Y/N cookie: Well... It's a funny story actually. When I was in the hall with all of them, they were discussing wedding preparations, but I think they didn't agree which one is are going to become my groom or bride, so, they start to fight with each other which one is going to take over the wedding. They were so distracted, that they didn't notice me going away.

Dark Cacao: But beasts have followers, how are THEY let you go without noticing?

Y/N cookie chuckles: They are actually isn't so different from their masters, it all started with Cloud Haetae Cookie who said that Mystic Flour Cookie is going to be most beautiful bride worthy to a cookie like me, then Candy Apple Cookie didn't seem to like it, as she announced that only Shadow Milk Cookie is going to be main star of the show as usual. Then it grew into a big fight who is going to marry me, Nutmeg Tiger Cookie was distant at first... Until she said that it's obvious that Burning Spice Cookie is going to take over wedding, these two didn't seem to like it as they start to yell at her, and then... Well, you get the idea, Nutmeg Tiger Cookie joined in, others joined in and then here I am, I even got lucky enough to bug candy-dog around here!

*Ancients fell silent, they weren't sure what to do, they were going on mission with hard determination to save Y/N cookie, they made such a long way, should they just go home or keep on going just to beat up beasts out of spite?*

Y/N cookie: So, where you going? On the mission or you are already done? If so, we can go to the Cookie Kingdom and you can take a rest!

*At that moment, Ancients decided scratch that, they can do it later, Y/N cookie is here and it's all that matters*

Pure Vanilla, smiling: Let's go home!

White Lily, also smiling: Yeah!

The Good Ending.

[gay-dorito-dust]

I'm curious, how did wade and logan meet isekai gremlin reader? Did reader just fall from the sky and landed beside the two unharmed? We know wade breaks the fourth evrytime because his sentient and logan had seen worse sp if reader just straight up tells the two that they are from another universe the two would just😐👍okay. They woulb be ubothered by it

Wade and Logan first met you when they were having shawarma. It was a nice day, nothing could possibly go wrong until…

‘Ow fuck!’ You groaned as you got up from a seemingly never ending fall through the void, only to realised that you didn’t hurt as badly as you thought you did when you went to run your arm. ‘Don’t know why I said ow fuck when that didn’t actually hurt being with.’ You then murmur to yourself as you looked up to see the portal you fell from close assumably forever.

‘Did god kick you out of heaven little angel? Did you do something naughty? Blasphemous even?’ Wade asked, swallowing his last bit of shawarma, wiping himself down before he let Dogpool run your feet as you smiled down at the cutes dog you’ve ever seen. Some would say she’s ugly, the most ugliest dog they’ve ever met, but to you she’s perfect with her lopsided tongue and scruffy appearance.

‘He fucking wishes but no, I’m not an angel nor did I come from heaven.’ You told Wade as you picked up Dogpool, unbothered by the excessive licking to the face, you’d like to call it her showing you her unconditional love and affection.

‘Then where did you come from?’ Logan asked, completely unfazed by this and the dog licking your face excessively.

You shrug, not caring whether you sounded nuts for saying it. ‘Another dimension.’ You proclaimed.

Wade and Logan looked at each other before looking at you again.

‘Ah! Another overused and abused Isekai trope fanfic, like that’s surprising to anyone reading this.’ Wade then said to no one in particular.

‘The fuck is that supposed to mean scrotum face?’ You replied, holding Dogpool closer in your arms when you noticed that Wade was planing on taking her off your hands, no one was going to take this cute doggy from your hands, you’ve only met this cutie and you’d kill everyone before killing yourself if anything happened to her.

‘Look bub, Wade over here talks out of his ass, so it’s best not to take anything he says seriously.’ Logan answered for you as he got up from his seat groaning. He’s been alive for far too long to act surprised at anything at this point. A pig could sprout wings or suddenly talk and Logan wouldn’t find this out of the ordinary, that or he just was too tired and perpetually annoyed at everything to feel anything outside of that.

‘Now that our meet cute is over and done with, papa is going to need his little Mary Poppins back now.’ Wade reached out to grab Dogpool but you took a step back, still holding her close to your chest.

‘No.’ You told him. ‘She’s my Mary Poppins now.’

Wade gasps ‘are we entering our enemies to friends to lovers, 300k words, slow burn phase?’

You looked to Logan who only shrugs his shoulders. ‘I’ve got not a fucking clue what he just said just now.’ You then looked back to Wade and then little Dogpool, who was still licking your face, before deciding to bolt down the street. ‘YOU’ll never take me alive!’

You could hear Wade and Logan simultaneously cursing as they proceeded to follow after you, and at one point you could’ve sworn you heard Wade yell, ‘MY BABY! PAPA AND PAPA ARE COMING SWEETIE DONT WORRY!’ Before hearing Logan hit him in the back of the head saying, ‘damn it Wade! I ain’t no damn papa!’

You couldn’t help but laugh as you, with Dogpool in your arms, continued to run as far as you could with no real destination in mind, maybe this new dimension wouldn’t be so bad if this is how you got to live everyday. You couldn’t mind it one bit.

[kbbueckers]

house party

characters: caitlin clark x reader

overview: caitlin punches your homophobic and toxic ex boyfriend, tiny bit of fluff at the end

warnings: tiny bit of angst, tiny bit of blood, violence, homophobia from ex

caitlin has been your girlfriend for about two or three years, you and caitlin were at a house party because you begged her to go with you for weeks, and she finally agreed. turns out the begging wasn't even worth it, you weren't having fun. the music was bad, there was no food, and your ex was here. 

"i'm gonna go get a drink, kk?" you laid her down on the couch as she whispered something you didn't really hear. as you were refilling your cup, the one person you've been trying your best all night to avoid came up to you. 

jay was your boyfriend back before you even knew you were a lesbian. once you realized, you broke up with him because "the spark was gone." atleast that's how you worded it. he really never got over it, and still tries to hit on you every now and then. 

"you've been avoiding me, haven't you?" he asked, leaning against the door frame. you at first thought to not even reply, but you knew that would only make the situation worst. "if you know someone's avoiding you, why come up to them?" you went to walk away before he grabbed your arm, convincing you to stay.

"i've missed you." he attempted to touch your hair before you slapped his hand away. without your knowledge, caitlin had followed you through the crowd and saw the whole interaction with him.

caitlin was extremely overprotective, she has always made attachments to people easily, especially you. ever since you started dating, caitlin wouldn't let you out of her sight. either following you everywhere like a little puppy dog, or dragging you everywhere she went, you thought it was cute. 

"is he bothering you?" she asked. coming up behind you, and grabbing you waist to pull you back from him. caitlin knew your history with him. you always used to tell her whether you found out you were gay or not you still would've eventually ended things with him.

he treated you horribly the whole relationship. when you used to live with him in his apartment, anytime he got the slightest bit of angry, even if it wasn't your fault, he would kick you out. there were many nights where you had to knock on friends doors asking can you stay the night.

caitlin was one of those friends. you would cry to her many nights about how you couldn't do this anymore, and how bad he would make you feel. she always thought you deserved better, and now you had better.

you shake your head no. saving jay the trouble, knowing she could, and would, beat his ass. "this is none of your business." he starts to get defensive with caitlin, deciding to start trouble even though she's about a foot taller than him. 

"i'm her girlfriend, and it seems like you're bothering her, so it is my business." caitlin starts to get louder, and all up in his face. not sure if it was the alcohol or what, but she was ready to fight.

"oh so you're kissing girls now?" he turned to you in surprise. "that's none of your business." you replied. "man just leave her alone, she clearly doesn't wanna speak to you." caitlin brushed him off, turning around back to me as we both started to walk away. before we were able to walk away fully, jay muttered something.

"whatever, fuckin' homos"

what. the. hell. 

you and caitlin both stopped in your tracks, before you could even turn around to stop caitlin from doing whatever she was about to do, she turned around quick, serving a punch to jay's nose. he made a loud sound on the ground from falling, taking a few chairs with him, and the whole keg of beer, causing everyone to turn around in shock.

"come on baby, let's go." caitlin tugged your arm a few times before pointing to the door, turning around like she didn't just punch your ex boyfriend in the nose.

you nodded as you turned around to see jay's friends helping him up off the ground, his nose bleeding bad, and a puddle of beer forming around him. everyone around us was staring at caitlin, muttering and whispering, but she didn't care as we walked out of the house and into the cold. caitlin's arm around your shoulders, holding you tighter than when you first walked in.

caitlin was driving home in silence with her hand resting on your thigh, you couldn't help but notice the small red spots on her knuckles.

"are your hands okay?" she shook her head. "i'm good baby, thanks."

even though caitlin told you her hand was fine, once you got home you insisted on putting some ice on it and wrapping it. you were sitting on her lap and holding her fingers while dabbing the ice on them lightly.

"i'm sorry for punching him." she spoke up. you shook your head. "no, no. i wanna thank you. he definitely won't mess with me anymore." caitlin nodded. "why didn't you tell me he was bothering you?" caitlin wrapped her arms around your waist as she pulled you closer. you shrugged your shoulders in response "i didn't want this to happen." 

once you were finished wrapping her fingers, caitlin got both you and her ready for bed before you cuddled up against each other,  resting from the long night you just had. 

this kinda sucks but i've been working on it all afternoon and im tired, really hope you enjoy.

tips on how to improve my writing are greatly appreciated

-kbbueckers💋

[creamqueen]

NOW PLAYING : DWAYNE HOOVER HCS ! ft. general and x GN! reader.

✧.* GENERAL !

*·˚ #1 Radiohead listener dare I say... he just seems like the type ! ·˚ Dwayne would want to learn guitar because he thought it looked cool, but ended up getting into drums instead. *·˚ Forgets to tie his shoelaces properly and tends to trip over them. ·˚ I know a sweet treat HATES to see dwayne hoover coming. *·˚ I like to think he has a secret sweet tooth... yeah... ·˚ Collects roadkill skeletons, keeps it in a little jar. *·˚ My Chemical Romance is his guilty pleasure IDC !!!!! ·˚ He's either a really great artist or an absolute shit one, I haven't decided yet... *·˚ Mango is his favorite yoghurt flavor...yeah...

✧.* RELATIONSHIP

*·˚ I feel like the only way you could get into a relationship with dwayne is if you started off as friends, and most likely it would take a while. ·˚ The way he confessed was probably so awkward *·˚ Like, he's working out and you're going through his notepad when you suddenly stumble upon pages filled with confessions all scratched out ·˚ "I like you" "I think I'm in love with you" "I have a crush on you" *·˚ and obviously you're confused so you ask him what it is. ·˚ he feels his heart drop to his ass and you can see it on his face, he literally snatches the notepad from you before writing "it was supposed to be for you." *·˚ I know this man is so clingy in private. ·˚ he's working out? you're in the room. he's reading? either he's lying down in your lap or you're lying down in his. you're drawing? he's clinging onto you like a koala with his head on your shoulder watching you sketch. *·˚ if you're an artist, he would want to keep all the drawings you make of him, he has it taped to the wall on his nightstand, he looks at it and sighs before he goes to bed each night (he's madly in love with you.) ·˚ just because he's clingy in private doesn't mean he won't deny it though...he will. *·˚ you could be like "oh dwayne is actually very clingy" and he would look at you like ??? and NOBODY would believe you, they think you're just kidding. ·˚ definitely makes you a CD/playlist full of songs that remind him of you. *·˚ loves to hold your hand in private, linking pinkies, kissing your hand, rubbing your hand, biting your hand, whatever, he loves to do it all !!! ·˚ tried to bake for you once but used expired milk on accident, he felt so bad. *·˚ he was walking around looking like a kicked dog, he felt awful. ·˚ this man has the BIGGEST soft spot for you... *·˚ if olive ever tries to tease him about you, his face goes RED. like. red. red. ·˚ rolls your eyes at you and acts all sassy when you steal his clothes but secretly it makes him all giddy. *·˚ ever since you two started dating he's had trouble sleeping without you by his side, he's picked up a habit of hugging his pillow when you're not there.

( okay that's all !!! also this is litewally my first time posting hcs...BE GENTLE WITH ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

[lucentloo]

Sleeping beauty

Summary: When Remus walks through the apartment he is greeted by the sight of his two lovers sleeping on the couch, just a fluffy, sleepy moment between the three.

Poly!Wolfstar x Fem!reader

Wc: 663

Content Warnings: Fem!reader, fluff, swearing (Sirius has a potty mouth for maybe two seconds), sleeping, naps, raining, no angst, maybe a little, idk, the L word (love), idk this fic is just pure fluff,

a/n: Hey lovely people who decided to read this! This would now be my second fic, (yes I will be counting every fic I write sorry if that annoys you but I shall never stop), and I’m already blown away by the feedback that my first fic has gotten, every time I get a notification it just makes my day! I’m trying to write for every character I have on my masterlist so there is at least one story for you guys to read, if you have any suggestions please share!

The creak of the apartment door opening echoes through the living room, startling Sirius from his short nap. He takes a deep breath as he looks down to make sure you’re still asleep. Your warm body on top of his and your steady breaths were what caused him to doze off in the first place.

He looks up as Remus places his jacket on the back of an armchair and makes his way to the two of you, leaving his muddy boots at the door. The gentle ambience of the rain was the reason for this unprompted, but not unwelcome, nap sesh. 

As Remus sits down by yours and Sirius’ legs on the couch Sirius narrows his eyes. “Be careful darling, this is the most sleep she’s had all week and I’m not afraid to kick your ass. No matter how pretty it is.” Sirius unconsciously tightens his grip around you to make sure you stay safe and asleep in his arms.

Remus chuckles as he brushes a piece of your hair behind your ear before pressing a light kiss to your forehead. “I would never dream of waking up our sleeping beauty, she deserves all the rest we can provide her.” Remus reaches up and brushes Sirius’ hair through his fingers and scratches his head. Sirius hums and leans into the nice feeling. Before he knows it his eyes have shut closed again.

Sirius accidentally flinches awake when he hears a dog barking outside and in turn stirs you back into consciousness. You groan as your eyes open. The apartment is dark except for a candle that was lit on the coffee table. You sigh as you sit up on Sirius, his hands coming to rest on your hips with an apologetic frown on his face. “I’m sorry, Dolly, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”  His hands squeeze your hips to further prove his point.

You wave your hand in a dismissive gesture. “It’s fine Siri, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep any way.” Your voice is soft and quiet as you sigh. To your side you feel Remus stand up and sigh.

“You’re allowed to sleep love, it’s a basic human necessity.” You hear him whisper in your ear as Remus places his hands on your waist to pick you up and help you stand. He keeps one hand on your back as he helps Sirius up next. You lean into the warmth Remus always seems to provide and let your eyes flutter shut.

Sirius coos and kisses your cheek. “Baby you're so tired, aren’t you?” He asks in a low enough voice that it could be considered a whisper. You almost shake your head but know you can’t deny it anymore and nod your head before tucking it into Remus’ chest.

“Let’s get to bed first dove, then you can sleep for as long as you want, yeah?” Remus says with a sort of fondness only you and Sirius are allowed to hear. That thought makes you smile slightly and it doesn’t go unnoticed by the other two. Sirius pokes your cheek with a smile of his own.

 “What’s the smile for love? I mean don’t get me wrong I love your smile, it’s so pretty and warm and-”  You interrupt his very short ramble with a gentle kiss. It’s not quick but it’s not slow either, somewhere in between. It’s a kiss that shows how much love and care we feel for each other without needing to say the words. We say the words anyway.

“I love you Siri, and you Rem,” You say with a small smile.

Remus smiles as Sirius says the same. He wraps the both of you in a hug, you in the middle and Sirius on the other side so Remus can wrap his arms around the both of you. “You don’t know how lucky I am to have you both,” he whispers, “now let's get to bed, we all need our beauty sleep.”

[carbondioxda]

a/n: I firmly believe Simon Riley would be a dog person. Written at school on breaks, english isn’t my first language sorry for mistakes🥲

c/w: Simon Riley/Shelter worker!reader with him just caring for the same mutt as reader. Simon dogtrapping reader and deciding that she’s gonna be his wife on the spot.

There’s this stray mutt that Simon has grown fond of.

He’s no one’s, an older dog with some scars, matted fur, and a sad look in his eyes. He’s big, probably a mix between a german shepherd, saint bernard and a labrador if you squint. He has one floppy ear despite his age. Still, a big guy with a rough exterior and a big heart. Much like Simon.

He couldn’t have a dog. Not with the constant deployments and absence from home. Maybe if he had a wifey to take care of the dog and the house while he’s gone, he’d take him in. He didn’t have a dog officially anyway, despite feeding the mutt regularly and having two bowls for him outside, dog food now permanently on his grocery list. He wouldn’t admit to himself how much he cared for him, named him Bravo in his head, but never got him a proper collar.

Bravo always came back, happy to see Simon, wagging his tail and roaming around his neighbourhood whenever he was home. Always slept in his garage during winter. He was a great dog, hunted rodents when he was in the mood. Warned Simon that someone was coming by barking. Never bit or attacked anyone. Played with the kids on the playground nearby.

So when Simon comes back from yet another deployment, he notices that Bravo isn’t there to greet him. His bowls remain untouched and one thing that Simon knew about that mutt was that he’d eat absolutely anything without a complaint. So after two long days of seeing the bowls still full, worry starts to nag the Lieutenant, reminding him at random of how Bravo’s missing.

Simon’s heart drops to his stomach when his mind starts conjuring images of what fate the pup could’ve suffered while he was gone, kicking ass god knows where with the Task Force. People were cruel, whether it’d be men or some messed up kids. Most drivers don’t even stop after bumping into a cat or a dog. The thought of Bravo being hurt or rotting on the side of the road made Simon’s head spin.

At some point, enough is enough. He’d figure out a place for Bravo to stay while he’s deployed, he just wanted the damn mutt to come back. His only company when he was home alone. The neighbours said that the dog vanished, none of them mentioned anything about a dead dog in a ditch, so that was something. Simon found himself driving to the local shelter in hopes of finding him. He heads inside, picture of the dog prepared on his phone already.

There he sees you - the sweetest lass he’s ever seen. Pretty sure he hasn’t seen you before, because he wouldn’t ignore someone like that. He opens the door and the creak and it makes you turn to him and smile, making him wish he’d have you smiling like that when he comes home.

And you? Who doesn’t smile at the sight of a man built like your wet dream, looking to adopt a dog. And you just had a great day, after having made a decision to adopt one of the larger mutts that just came to your shelter a week ago. He was so sweet with that floppy ear of his-

- What can I help you with? Wanna adopt? - you ask. Not many people come to the shelter. Mostly families before christmas, a few volunteers who walk and feed the dogs, maybe some young people when they move out of their parents house and want their own mutt. If he wouldn’t find Bravo here, he was ready to adopt a dog anyway just to see your eyes light up.

- M’mutt’s gone missin’. - he gruffly replied, taking out his phone and showing you the picture he took one time before he got deployed again. - You have ‘im?

- Uh, yeah, he’s been with us for a week now. - you say, but your immediately smile goes down. The handsome guy was taking your dog. A wave of relief washes over his body, his worries dissolved with a simple sentence. He tenses up again though, just as fast. Something’s wrong. You should look at him with glinting eyes and hand him adoption papers. Thank him for taking the doggy to a good house with a kiss on the cheek, or a sloppy kiss somewhere else. You motion him to follow you to the crates. The room stinks of a wet dog. He follows without a word, eyeing your plush thighs from behind, calculating if his hands were perfectly big to grab them both and spread. If you two were at the bar, he’d be already trying to get your number, name, address and family information.

You two walk over to the crate where the poor mutt is in, whining, his tail thumping on the floor when he sees you and Simon.

- It’s good you’re taking him back uh..he’s a smart mutt. - you chuckle awkwardly, fighting through the pain. Simon seemed like a good man and you were telling yourself that he’d be much better owner than you anyway. But it hurts. Because in the week you’ve had him in this crate, you’ve grown so attached that it physically hurts to give him away. Bravo, as Simon called him, was the only dog you actually took out the papers to adopt formally after working at the shelter for months. Turns out you almost took someone’s dog. You open the lock and let Bravo get out and bother Simon.

- I’m gon’ take ‘im home. - he says, watching your expression.

- Alright. You’ll need to fill out some basic forms before you do. You may sit on one of the chairs. - you guide him to the poorly furnished waiting room where you return to your counter and give him the said files. He gives you a nod and sits down, Bravo bothering his ass all the time. He writes down whatever was needed, mostly just trying to rack his brain on if his sudden need for you isn’t caused by not getting laid for years in the military. But no. He doesn’t ogle pretty girls that way in grocery shops or at base, you’re just uniquely wife-shaped in his opinion. And he hates that frown you have on and even more that he’s the one to cause it. It didn’t take a genius to figure out you loved Bravo.

- Ya got a dog? - he suddenly asks, laying the paperwork on the counter to get it signed. He’s determined to get you to smile again, not look like you just got your soul companion ripped away from you.

- Oh, no, I wish. I..almost adopted your dog, actually. Well, uh, big dogs are better for houses than flats anyway, yeah? - you smile weakly. Small flat doesn’t quite fit to the description of the absolute shithole you live in, but it’ll do. He senses that. He’d be more than willing to lock you up with Bravo in his house and get you all the pups you want. Anything to get the spark in your eyes back, the one you greeted him with at the door.

-…Ya dogsit? - he gruffly asks as you give him back the paperwork. He needed something to silence his guilt and have you within his reach. You wanted Bravo, he can share.

- I suppose I could. - you shrug. Anything to see that dog. You could get a penny or two dogsitting too. And drool over Simon.

- I mean fo’ long periods of time. Few weeks, a month. Livin’ in the house. - he said, laying out what he needed, because taking that mutt in meant getting him someone to watch over him while he’s deployed. It felt like sharing custody already. And he wanted to see you home. Smiling when he comes back. Hell, he’d get two or three dogs there if it meant seeing you all sweet and smiling.

You think for a moment. Your flat is shit. Simon mentioned he has a house, not an apartament. You don’t wanna part from Bravo and you need money.

- Sure. - you shrug, finally smiling a bit more without that sadness in your eyes. His heart flutters. He’s gonna buy a ring and himself a matching one if you do that again. The guest room’s gonna be your space, he’s gonna come back for another dog and let you choose which one, and Bravo would make a great family dog anyway, so the storage room upstairs can be the nurser-

You exchange numbers and that’s when you’ve sealed your fate. He calls you two days after he took Bravo and you show up to discuss the details. His dog greets you and you rub his floppy ear, ruffle his fur like all you needed this today was that mutt.

- Where’s yer suitcase? - he asks, hanging your jacket.

- My suitcase?

- Yer stayin’.

- Sorry, what?

- Ya agreed to dogsittin’ Bravo. M’gone often, so it’s best ya jus’ move in. Guest room upstairs ‘s yours. - he states. It’s not a question of you want to move in. You will move in. - Ya mentioned wanting to adopt Bravo. He fuckin’ adores ya, so he’s yours too. Yer stayin’. Next time, bring yer things.”

And there it is. That glimmer in your eyes. The proposition to live in a house instead of your shitty flat and have Bravo with you all the time? And a handsome Brit that looks at you like you’re a meal all the time? Worth a shot.

[gremlingottoosilly]

"If you need to be mean"

Konig just got his promotion to colonel. It also came with deployment in a terrorist-ridden country, but at least he would get an adorable, civilian you as a prize. TW: Konig being a huge pervert, Canon-Typical violence, Dub-Con, Innocence kink, Age difference(Konig in his yearly 40, Reader in young 20)

Pairing: Konig x fem!Reader Tags: Fluff, Power Imbalance, Hurt/Comfort, Size Kink, Possessive Konig, Yandere Konig, Creepy scary stalker Konig, written mostly from Konig perspective Word count: 5213 My AO3

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

König hates this fucking country.

Shithole in the middle of nowhere, with literally nothing going on – some border quarrels with some terrorists that are desperately trying to settle into the big war on terror that won’t achieve a thing and would be meaningless anyway. No one wanted to actually station here – this is why they promoted him so quickly, just so they could send him away like a pack of garbage they can’t give two shit about throwing out. 

He never even wanted this promotion. Too much work, too many people, never enough time to relax. Payment is sweet, of course – if he only had time to use any of this. He is too old for new titles, you can’t teach old dog new tricks – and, quite frankly, he does feel terribly old while doing nothing but pushing papers and listening to some useless fucking recruits with their reports. 

Job is simple – stay on the base, make sure that the locals won’t become too villifed to the soldiers that are supposed to protect them, even though he already knows how people would feel about the PMC stationed in their city. Fights with occasional resistance from the outsider force that decided “Hey, let’s just annex our neighbor, what could possibly happen?”. He doesn’t know a lot about this country – but if they have enough money to hire KorTac to help the local forces, he might be quite interested. If he only had energy for that anymore – between relentless paperwork and occasional yelling at his stupid fucking nonsense of rookie – seriously, it feels like they hired a bunch of edgy 12 year olds instead of normal soldiers. 

Job is simple and he finds himself bored to death because this isn’t what he enlisted for. He wanted to fight, to kill, to burden this urge to hurt people who once wronged him with someone who is – probably, maybe, somehow – deserve it. Not really a noble cause, but he stopped playing knight in shining armor once they used him as an infiltration weapon instead of what he actually wanted. All hopes and goals in his life were buried deep with his first sniper rifle – and rude comments about his inability to sit still, even though he is still as good at being a killing machine as a human being possibly can. 

— Sir! We, uh, have a problem to report. 

Gut. 

A problem – this sounds as exciting as it can be. Last time his brigade got a problem, it was about some new recruits falling down with stomach ache because of the forged alcohol they were drinking. Also that one time someone tried to burst their way into the base – not fun, since officers took care of him, but it was at least something to do except for reading and scrolling through various housing options like he actually has a use of buying something with more than one bedroom. Like someone would look at him and love him – enough to pass through some easy fling and start living with him. No one would do that – even his parents couldn’t. 

Still, the problem sounds exciting. Maybe, he could actually go on a mission instead of feeling useless. They promoted him just to pin on the wall like a trophy.

— Repost immediately, soldier. What is it? 

— A civilian, well…a civillina woman…lady, broke the curfew. 

And here it is. Not an unexpected attack from his enemies, not even a drunken fight that someone from his subordinates decided to join and ended up getting their asses kicked. Is this what years of service come to? Watching over some stupid club girls broking the easiest fucking rule to follow, like getting home at midnight is a completely alien experience for them. One of the things he hates about his rank – he is used like a public figure, giving speeches, trying so hard to come up with something other than “Ja, we will kick asses of everyone who tries to infiltrate your country, don’t worry” and then he has to act like he knows what he is doing. Which he obviously doesn’t. If there was a way to just give up his rank and become a shadow again, a monster under a terrorist’s bed, he would do it. Without even a second to think. 

— Send her to the police. We aren’t supposed to deal with…

Then comes the second guy – he doesn’t even remember his name, fuck this, he is supposed to be a father to his troops, or big brother at least, but he couldn’t give less of a fuck to someone weaker – inferior, smaller, someone who will die within a week or so in his first battle because apparently, higher-ups just love recruiting spineless teenagers now. 

Second guy comes to the room, holding someone very firmly by their hand – and König isn’t religious, he isn’t even sure when was the last time he was at any church, the little prayers his grandma used to sing is long forgotten for him, but he sees your face and almost believes in angels. 

König is too old for this shit, again, he hates this country, his team, his rank – then he looks at your face, the way it twists with fear and nervousness because of course, one of his dumb subordinates is holding you too tight and the softness of your flesh – why in the world you are wearing such light clothes, it’s night outside, you will catch a cold and he would give you his jacket, but that would drown you under the weight of it, and he don’t want you to smell the alcohol he has on his clothes, terrible coping mechanism with boredom, and he might just give you something else, maybe, like his shirt or a…

Wait a minute. 

He doesn’t even know your name, even though he is sure this is something gorgeous and would look perfect next to his last name, but he looks at your face and all the years of his military training is suddenly washed away because he can’t even muster a thing out of his mouth. Thank god no one is forcing him to stop wearing his hood – he wouldn’t be able to survive otherwise, not with how hot his face feels right now. You are nervous, this is obvious, since you broke the curfew and went on the streets past 11 pm. He should just bring you to the police, he isn’t even sure why his soldiers would bring some random civilian to the base. He immediately wants to give this private a raise – for bringing him a goddess walking on Earth. Angel, succubus, all of the fancy names and…it feels like he is going crazy. And he should compose himself. Be a good example of a rotten mercenary commander. 

— Why were you breaking the curfew, miss..?

He hates how squeaky his voice sounds, even after all the years in service he can’t get rid of that boyish tone and nervousness every time he is talking to women. All the fear is immediately washed away after you tell him your name – and it’s gorgeous, perfect, feels like something he can devour, something he can moan in the depth of the night while using his hand as a poor substitute for the warmth of your body. 

The pause lingers too much and he already suggests just…taking you. To further investigation. to see if you are really just an innocent person caught up in breaking the rules or an enemy spy – which would give him the perfect opportunity to interrogate you and hold you for a bit longer. He wants you to be a problem, actually – that would give him the authority to hold you here, to think about you in a way that won’t immediately make him a bad person. 

— Went to the pharmacy. Forgot about the time, I’m…I’m sorry. 

You look guilty and weak and nervous obviously – a good girl caught up in the reality of her home country now implementing new rules just so it won’t get annexed by their neighbor. He wants to protect you – or give you the real reason to be scared of him. He wants to be good, but you look too cold in those clothes and he wants to give you something more. Or warm you up in a different way – which makes him feel horrible, his skin crawls and hands are fidgeting again even though he is almost sure he forgot about that habit after a few trigger-happy moments with the enemies. 

— Pharmacies should be closed by this time. Why were you here so late? 

Soldier that brought you here left you with König – colonel, you saw him in the newspapers and on TV, some public speeches while concealing his face in various ways. You don’t trust him, don’t trust the mercenaries – how can you believe that they are going to save you if they don’t even dare to show their faces? He is even scarier in person – big, hulking, too muscular to feel safe, with something like a sack thrown over his head. You want to forget about the medicine you bought and just run away, but that would only mean outright saying that you are guilty. 

You brace yourself and try not to feel too small, but König just wants to wrap his hands around you and throw that weak body of yours on his shoulder. Not letting you go away. Ever.

— I…got lost. Sorry, I know what this looks like, but I just changed the apartment and…look, this is a bog misunderstanding. I have my documents, I’m local! Not some spy or anything, I promise. 

Too bad – you would have the opportunity to escape if you were an enemy. Some evil and wicked femme fattal that is here to seduce him and get the important information out of him – but if you are telling the truth and nothing, but a civilian, he isn’t sure that he could save you from…falling to his hands. It’s stupid, he should really just find someone to fuck, he is getting desperate over the first cute and gentle girl he saw in this place – but really, do he has a chance with a soldier if just a helpless weakling like you can make him kneel? He needs to compose himself. 

— You really shouldn’t be out so late. There is a reason the curfew is upheld. It saves you from the danger. 

— For now the only danger after midnight is your soldiers, apparently. 

Your breath hitches as you understand what you just said – god, who was holding your tongue and making you blurt this in front of the fucking commander? You might have had the chance of just escaping before, you weren’t doing anything wrong, you know that some of your friends were breaking the curfew after a party or late visits, but they were never held to the police or martial law – soldiers are understanding of the situation, no one from the young people actually wants to stay in their houses no matter the threats war can bring. You might have the chance of going out with nothing but some harsh words about those stupid younglings ignoring the rules – but now you insulted his men and this will probably bring you to jail for the night at least or something even more…

He laughs. And the sound of it makes your cheeks warm. 

— Ja, I can understand why you would say that. But you shouldn’t break the curfew. 

You feel like winning a lottery, but the prize isn’t money – it’s the chance of getting out of this creepy building and going home to your warm sheets and slight smells of devastation and loneliness. 

— I’m really sorry, sir, I won’t do this again. Promise. 

You look guilty, and König loves this expression. The softness of your face, the way your eyes are filled with tears when you think he would actually make you goto jail or do something even worse. He relishes in this power over you – even though he doesn’t mingle with civilians, always keeps a safe distance with women around him, never dares to even give them a careful look. He wants to take you away – protect from the world around you, from this fucking place, from all the dangers. The only thing that is dangerous to you seems like him – because he is the only one with power here, the only one who can decide whether he wants to behave like an asshole and lock you away or…

— I can’t just let you go. Let me…I can escort you to your residence so I can make sure you actually went home. And not somewhere else.

He looks at your pharmacy bag – it's a shitty plastic one, transparent and see-through. He understands immediately why you would decide to run to the pharmacy so abruptly even within the vicinity of the curfew – and the fact your bag contains pads and pain medicine only makes him want to scoop you in his arms and get you to his quarters. Government gave them a pretty nice location for the base and he, as the commander, got a bedroom that won’t even make you think about the military. Perks of quartering outside of base, even the barracks are nicer than the ones at home – and he would love to introduce your sore body to the comforts of warm sheets. 

You look at him, surprised and nervous, your adorable lips twists in a pout as you think about your options. You can’t really say no, this can make him angry and resentful – and these aren't emotions you want the local military personnel to feel about you. He is also scary, and stares too much – you don’t want him to look at you like this, both surprised and depraved, but something in his figure still makes you trust him. Maybe it’s that weird propaganda about them protecting your country – he is a public figure, he can’t be evil, right? Maybe it’s just the way his hands fidgets as if he is nervous about your answer – or little cracks in his voice that makes you blush just a little every time you hear it. Or you are simply too tired to not comply. 

— I, um…are you sure? You must have some other things to do. I don’t want to be a bother, really. 

— I want to protect you from harm. Nights are dangerous. 

You want to say that it’s okay, you spend more time in this country than he is – and you know every little corner of the city by this point, no matter the military outposts and destruction. You also want to say that this is creepy as fuck and you don’t want a random guy to just know where you live – but you can’t say that, you are already almost buried yourself with that long tongue of yours, and the only thing you want to do right now is just drink your ibuprofen in peace and get teleported to your bed. 

You want to say no, but it almost feels like something romantic and even though he isn’t showing his face, the view of his muscles, bursting out his clothes and body armor, enough to make you agree. You can regret that decisions later – but with the way his eyes light up like he is a puppy, you probably won’t. 

— Okay. I…I mean, if that’s okay with you, sir. 

— I live to serve. Und ich diene gerne jemanden, dir so bezaubernd ist wie du.

— Sorry?

It sounds like German, and the way he pronounces it makes you feel like it’s something important – but you don’t want to ask for translation, he mutters it under his breath, Maybe some curses about stupid girls getting caught by his soldiers and how he needs to escort them to make sure they are not enemy spies ready to put their knives in his back.

— Just show the way. 

He is awkward, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, he looks at you and fights the urge to just squish you with his hands. You are pouting, your hands are trembling, and you are shaking – maybe from the cold or just from fear. König hates himself for not understanding whether he wants you to be scared of him or not. There is something dark, predatory almost, in having someone as adorable as you shaking like a leaf – but he also wants to just scoop you in his hands and make sure you will never be afraid of him. 

He is awkward, silent, he goes on the open side of the sideroad like protecting you from any vehicles that may cross the road at this hour – even though the only ones who are allowed to move at this time of day are hospital workers and his soldiers. His hand looms over your side, like he is not sure whether he wants to just grab you by your shoulder or allow you to lead in a more simple way. You feel protected in a way – you can’t even read his expressions because of that weird mask he is wearing, but his eyes are strangely warm every time he looks at you and thinks you are not looking at him. 

König wants to talk, but he isn’t sure what he even can say to you. The weather is nice? It’s the night, a cold one, and he doesn’t want you to catch some weird illness, but he also doesn’t want to seem like a creep by giving you his jacket. He would do so in a blink of an eye, he would die seeing your smaller body wrapped in his clothes like a nice little gift – but he knows who he is. Monster, giant, always too much and never enough, zero experience with someone who is one his one night stand in some lousy pub when he hates himself a bit less than usual. And you smell clean, civilian, sweet almost, he feels like a dog by just looking at the way your cheeks are blushing from the cold weather. 

He wants to initiate the conversation, know what you like and dislike, maybe learn your opinion about the situation – many locals dislike military presence, he understands this, KorTac isn’t known for being the best guys around here, but they get the job done, however bloody this might be. He would give away anything to just be able to talk – to speak like a normal person, without scaring you or making you think that he is weird. It’s borderline embarrassing, over the many years of his life he was thinking that he would outgrow his anxiety somehow – and here he is, fidgeting with the stupid anti stress toy in his pocket that his therapist gave him, not knowing how to talk to a girl in his grown up years. 

— You’re local.

It doesn’t even sound like a genuine question, it’s more like a threatening statement and he doesn’t like the way it sounds. He can’t gave it back now, it would be even weirder, he just wants to calm down and breathe, but even this is fucking impossible when every time he looks at you, it seems like you are only getting prettier.

— Lived here all my life, sir. 

You’re nervous, and he at least finds some comfort in this – he is not the only one who is scared here, even though he understands that you will surely be more scared than him. But it still comforts him just a little, knowing that you are in roughly the same boat – he can smile under his hood and attempt to at least pretend to be normal. Even if this would be literally impossible for someone like him. 

— Where do you work? 

It sounds like an interrogation and you are not sure if you want to answer truthfully – he isn't trying to force you right now, he isn’t even touching you no matter how closely you are walking, but you are smart enough to understand why telling a random man you just met where you live and work is a bad idea. Even if the man itself is a prominent figure in protecting – or not – your country and literally walks you home because you got lucky to not be sent to the police for breaking the curfew. You would just lie to him about where you work and, hopefully, never see him again – but it’s not just a random guy you met on Tinder. He probably has the resources to check if you really work in said place and if you didn’t and just lied to him then, well…he isn’t threatening you, but your overthinking is enough to make you scared. 

— Just a waitress. Cafe I work at isn’t very far from my apartment. 

You even tell him the address, all while praying he won’t visit you at work. He has the right, of course, especially if he would leave a good tip, but military personnel staying at your cafe probably won’t be good for business. Clients may go away, and that would mean leaving you without tips – and then you can kiss your shitty apartment goodbye. He probably won’t visit you, he is just asking this to fill the awkward silence and check whether you are a spy or not – how confident your answers are, if your story checks out or not. He is a colonel, he must have a lot of other stuff to do instead of chasing over some rule breakers. 

— Hm. 

König already knows where he will be eating every day from now on. But…hell, can he do this, really? It would probably be very awkward for both of you, and you may think that is stalking you, which he definitely is, but doesn’t want to show it yet. He can give you a nice tip every time, he sure as hell has money for it, but then you would think that he is trying to buy you, which he would of course try to if you would be fine with it because honestly, girl as adorable as you should get all the nicest thing she wants to, and he can provide for it, but his damned awkwardness would never let him outright say this, which would lead to a very uncomfortable situation and…

— We might need someone local to help with operations. 

Nailed it. Right? 

— Wh…what do you mean, sir? 

You look scared, nervous, he doesn’t want you to be scared, you’re supposed to feel safe around him! He might hate higher ups for giving him this rank and sending him to this fucking country, but he will protect you no matter what. He wants to be useful, for people to stop being scared of him – to start liking him instead, even if some cold, dismissive way of just stopping bothering him with stupid stuff. He would allow you to bother him all the time, he would protect you and make sure you are alright – you just have to let him, that would be really easy and…

— We’re strangers here. Lots of operations crossed because locals refuse to cooperate. We might need a guide out here. 

He sounds nonchalant, like he doesn’t really care about your answer, but the grip of his hands is stating otherwise. He throws you nervous looks, cold eyes flickering with anxiety as you take your time to answer, secretly hoping that you would get home before you’d had to state this. It doesn’t feel like a genuine question, more like a statement again. More like you don’t really have an option to say no, since he still has the power over you. Since he still looks and sounds like someone who can and will throw you over his shoulder and use it as a cannon folder. 

— I…I’m not sure, sir. I have to work at my actual job. 

Can he blow up your cafe? That would greatly diminish the chances of bumping into you on a romantic Sunday morning, ordering coffee just the way you secretly like it, and then leaving you a very generous tip that would immediately show you what a sophisticated and loaded gentleman he is. He can say that enemies did it, and then he would execute those poor people for ever messing with civilians. He can also get some people from the government to close it, so you wouldn’t have any place to work and then you would be simply forced to work with him – and help him get out of this country as soon as possible. He would pay you well, of course, and being your boss would be a very…interesting experience for him. 

— Are you sure?

You bite your lips and it's proven to be a horrible idea in such terrible weather – your skin breaks easily and you feel the blood in your mouth. Nice – now you would have to invest in lip balms again even though you are sure as hell that even yesterday the weather was nice. Colonel – König, you remember his callsign, no names of course, some twisted secret identity over protecting people who can literally kill you and won’t have consequences – look at you and you can swear to god that his eyes are narrowed, studying your features a bit more. Is he going to kill you for refusing the…job offer? Demand of working with mercenaries to protect your country? 

— Sorry, I…I really need to think about this. And get at least two weeks notice from my job. 

He is too focused on the way blood is glistening on your lips. He wants to lift the lower half of his hood and lick every little drop lingering in your mouth. Kiss this little wound until you would turn into a moaning, crying mess under him. Hold you so tight, he would leave bruises in places his fingers were – all while you are allowing him to. He isn’t delusional enough to think you like him the way he adores you already, but he is delusional enough to imagine you would comply with him mostly – he is a great person. Except for almost everything, of course. 

The road to your home is lonely, no one around, obviously. People aren’t breaking the curfew on the main streets – except for you, apparently, they are tending to do stuff in the shadows if they need something to go out at night. He looks at every street light with suspicion, almost wanting for someone to try and attack you – that would allow him to be your hero, protector, to put out all of his pent-up aggression on someone else while being praised for it. He wants someone to try and kill him just to feel a bit more alive – but then you stop in front of the house, and it only takes one look for him to decide that no, he isn’t going to let you go that easily. He may not be a good or even decent person, but he is not allowing an adorable little thing like you to live in that fucking rathole. 

— You live here? 

— Yes. Thank you for, well, looking after me. I know that I broke rules, I won’t…won’t do that again. Sorry. 

— No. 

— What do you mean “No”?

Is he going to inspect your apartment? You are pretty sure that you left your bed in a very chaotic state and there is more than one pair of panties lying on the couch. Not even speaking about how horrible your living conditions are – tiny apartments, barely enough space for one person fitting in 20 square feet with all of their stuff inside, and an overwhelming desire to blow something up each morning when one of your neighbors is fighting again. 

You don’t have anything to hide, but you are getting pretty tired of people who just think that because they sold their bodies to the military, they can do what they want. 

— It’s a horrible place for a girl to live. 

Hey! You might hate your place, but even that rathole of an apartment doesn't deserve something like this. 

— Well, it’s not a castle, but…I manage. 

— Don’t you have another place to sleep? 

He is fighting with the urge to invite you to the base instead. Far greater place for a little goddess like you, much nicer than…this. He has to physically restrain himself from throwing a hand on your shoulder. He just stared, hoping that you would pull a prank on him and actually has some better living conditions – he can’t bear thinking about you in that kind of life instead. 

— It’s a nice one, really! At least I don’t have to live with roommates. 

He can be your roommate. No, not even like this. He can buy you a freaking house if you would want, just pick a place, preferably in Austria, and that would be easy. He would love to just provide for you, to get to live with someone as adorable – as in need of protection as you. He understands that being this delusional is off brand even to him and his wild fantasies, but he spends too much time hating his work lately, and he needs some outlets, breathing room to just drown himself in fantasies about a nice girl who can actually like him. Who can be his everything, a cure to fix him even though his therapist says such expectations from your partner are toxic and codependent. 

He knows that he can’t say anything to you right now. If anything, you would dismiss any of his worries and just call him a psycho – would be right, probably, he doesn’t even know why he is so obsessed with your safety all of a sudden. He is only self-reflective enough to understand that he can’t act right now, no matter how much he would want to. He can only sigh and let the situation go, for now. He can always just show up at the place you work at. Totally not creepy at all, definitely, completely. 

— Be safe, hase. This time is very dangerous for a girl like you. 

— It’s…okay, really. You don’t have to worry about me, sir. 

Oh, but he wants to. 

Oh, but you want to run up the stairs and close the door behind you as fast as you possibly can. And maybe, just maybe, give him your number – definitely for consultation about the safety and how you can forfeit from breaking the curfew later in life. 

He puts a hand on your shoulder, large fingers tracing over your thin shirt, and goosebumps that are running on your skin aren’t from just the cold weather. You feel ashamed for kinda liking the situation – you are creeped out by him, you are curious about him, and you kinda want him to do something else. But he squeezes the soft flesh of your shoulders, rolling a bit lower, to your back – and then lets go. You breath hitches as he takes a step back, clenching his hand as if fighting the urge to do something else. 

— We’ll meet again. 

You just nod, not sure if you want it or not. König makes a point to determine which apartment is yours based on the window placement and pay you a visit in his leave time. 

[faiszt]

⠀⠀⠀───⠀⠀ ACADEMIC LIFE⠀⠀·⠀୭⠀⠀🚬̸⠀ִ⠀ﾟ⠀ r. ︎ cameron ꒰ 注意！ ꒱⠀minors do not interact⠀⠀ে♥︎ ूੂ⠀ eighteen plus

୨୧⠀summary!⠀you and rafe are the complete opposites of what an exemplary college student would be and, honestly, you can barely stand each other. except when he’s the one responsible for de-stressing your brilliant brain for you.︎⠀♥︎

୨୧⠀content warning:⠀ smut. hard & strong language. weed mentions. enemies with benefits. masturbation. slightly praise kink. dirty talk. fingering. handjob. ୨୧⠀wordcount:⠀2.8k⠀·⠀again, minors do not interact!

୨୧⠀letters to lovers:⠀hey! this has been in my drafts for a while and though i’ve read and re-read it, i can’t really guarantee that i haven’t missed any little mistakes. so, i apologize in advance. i hope you like it! ♡ see you soon.

star student, there was an appeal to being the highest-graded student in the class, though college was more about survival than being exemplary. you decided that surviving wasn’t your only goal, but rather always being the best, almost a matter of honor for your competitive brain.

everything could be a competition if you tried hard enough not to be the loser. but, rafe believed that you were actually just a spoiled know-it-all in who’d end up successful, because you’re brilliant, but alone and divorced at thirty... or rather, maybe not even divorced because he doubted you could stand to be around anyone without losing your temper with them in the next five minutes.

he certainly had a lot of opinions about you for someone who’d make the long walk to the visual arts building just to see the know-it-all who pretends to be a nobel prize winner in physics.

and he’d say it from the rooftops if he wasn’t drooling over you and your beautiful, stupidly smart brain that he’d like to do many things with which, again, he’d never mention out loud. envy or weird love, probably hard to say which feeling was stronger in him.

it wasn’t like you didn’t have controversial opinions about him either. like his stupidity, his bad sarcastic comments, his slowness, his use of weed beyond what’s supposed to be recommended, maybe looking like a chimney wasn’t exactly cool. he was intelligent, not the scientist type, but as hot as insufferable.

rafe was the perfect person to set an example for you of what not to do, so you criticized him whenever you had the chance, then he criticized you whenever he had the chance. it wasn’t an academic competition, much less an artistic one, maybe it was just one about who could last the longest without trying to get into the other’s pants again.

the first competition you both lost.

in the passenger seat of his minivan, you had your arms crossed over your chest and a grumpy expression on your face. rafe looked at you over his shoulder, rolling his eyes and chuckling softly at your behavior before taking a drag on his joint. “you need to relax, two-shoes,” a low cough between his words. “i swear this one is good.” he offered you the joint, but you grabbed his wrist and pushed it away from you. “fine, you’re the boss.”

silence reigned in his minivan for a few minutes before he sighed and put his joint aside, looking at you, waiting for you to tell him what was making you so mad that you asked to spend time with him and didn’t insult him yet. a miracle, honestly. “it’s not like i’m going to care that much, but if you want to talk about what’s makin’ your lame ass hurt so bad... i’m all ears.” yeah, he wasn't really unbearable.

“i’m just stressed, rafe,” you sighed, still looking as grumpy as you did before. “and a joint isn’t going to make that better.” you took away his hopes and he just looked like a kicked puppy after knowing that you didn’t even want to try the best thing he could offer you. “i just need to stop thinkin’ about my academic life, that shit is killin’ me.”

“i see...” he mimicked your behavior, crossing his arms in front of his body with a slightly serious expression. “get a dog and teach it to bite you every time you spend more than three minutes quiet.” rafe suggested in the dumbest way he could think of, starting to laugh when he saw that it only made you more grumpy. “okay, okay... i can drive around, how ’bout that? i’ll take you somewhere nice... and i can make you chill your brain, princess.”

his words echoed in your mind as he drove around, you didn’t know where he was taking you and honestly, you just hoped that this would be enough to take your mind off all that unbearable pressure on your shoulders. ironic that he was the one who cared enough to want to take care of you when you turned to him.

twenty minutes or a little less, the silence was quite loud, though the music on the radio was too, you were talking to your own thoughts and he was trying to talk to you, even if you couldn’t hear him. the sun had already set on the horizon, the blue sky was no longer as vivid as it used to be and the clouds were slowly covering the stars that were trying to appear. melancholic, you thought.

you would’ve even thought about it a little more if you hadn’t been distracted by the minivan pulling up. the whole city right in front of your eyes through the windshield, you had never seen it before. “a viewpoint?” your eyes didn’t want to leave that sight, but you did it anyway, looking at rafe with a little more than that tired, stressed mood from before.

“the best place in this shitty city, actually. nobody comes here, perfect to have a nice joint,” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest before leaning back in his seat. “i mean, it’s a good place to chill with a pretty girl, yeah? now smile a little, you’re makin’ me depressed.”

“your life is already makin’ you depressed.” you retorted and he just laughed, placing his hand over his chest as if he had been slapped hard.

“ouch, princess, why so mean?” then, rafe sighed, almost like a snort, looking away from you for nothing more than a second. “come on, you can’t stay sulking forever... you need a helping hand or somethin’ to lighten that mood?”

you knew perfectly well what he meant by helping hand, not that he was discreet with the meaning of his words when his hand was already snaking over your bare knee. “i’m trying to be generous with you today, but looks like you don’t deserve my generosity right now.” he was just teasing you, quite predictable, it wasn’t like he’d deny you if you just looked at him with that look.

“you were less pathetic to try to finger me back then, you know?” your not-really-funny joke made him laugh, kinda bothered as he took his hand off your knee, adjusting your seat so you could lie down a little more.

“yeah, yeah, pathetic... let’s see who will be the pathetic one here in a few minutes.” damn bastard. you should’ve known rafe was silly, goofy and whatever, but he took it seriously when you called him pathetic, almost as if that was his only weakness when it came out of your mouth, specifically.

before you could think straight, his hand was already on you again, between your thighs, caressing the thin fabric of your underwear while he didn’t even look at you. he looked so good, not at all bothered like he was before by your little joke, maybe because he knew you’d still have a massive crush on him even if he was the most jerk man in the whole world.

your skirt meant nothing more than a boring piece of cloth that was getting in the way of him reaching his goal and, honestly, he wanted to take it off right that second, but he held himself back. “pussy and joint, thank god.” yeah, well, he was high, you already knew that anyway.

“are you going to be quiet or do you need me to sit on your stupid face?” rafe paused for a second contemplating your words before nodding, pulling your panties down as if he was following orders you didn’t even have to give him.

“this isn’t as threatening as you think it is.”

“rafe.”

“it’s the weed.”

and could you stay mad at him? definitely not. he was a little... well, frustrating and silly, but damn, you could put up with so much bullshit if it meant having his fingers all the way on you. rafe was the perfect blend of everything you couldn’t be, the perfect antidote to whatever it was you had.

his long finger with a silver ring stroked your clit gently, little pressure, just looking at you as if he wanted to gauge exactly what you wanted and how you wanted it. he wasn’t a stranger to it, but pleasing you every time was what he wanted to do. “can i put my finger inside?” anyone could say anything about him, except that he wasn’t a good boy even when he was fingering you.

“yeah.” you sighed deeply, watching his fingers caress your clit before moving down your slit in an almost chilling manner. that was exactly what you needed and you couldn’t believe how well he did it even when he was kind of high.

you had to bite your lips, his middle finger stroked your entrance for a brief moment, using your own juices to make you wetter for him—which, honestly, you already were, but he wanted a little more, just for the show. until he began to lightly pump his finger in and out for a good time, watching you with a small smirk, listening to your every single little grunt.

“you look so pretty with my finger inside your pussy, princess.” he almost sounded like he was purring in his whisper, putting a little more force on your finger and increasing the pace. didn’t you want to de-stress? then, he’d de-stress you nice and deep. “can you suck it for me?”

rafe pulled his finger out of you, making you miss it for a minute before he brought his wet finger to your lips. “open your mouth for me.” he asked in the nicest way possible waiting for you to open your pretty little mouth, like he wasn’t finger fucking you before, like he was a sweet gentleman. “yes. just like that, you’re so obedient, princess.”

he brushed his finger across your lips, chuckling softly in a sly manner. “this could be your lip gloss... i’d love to kiss you with that taste...” he stuck his finger in your mouth, running the tip over your tongue, making you taste yourself on his finger before going deeper. his silver ring was cold against your lips as he was tickling your throat, he loved the sight. “you choke so well on my cock, i wanna see if you do the same with my finger.”

idiot, that was the truth about him, he was still chuckling softly like a silly boy when he purposely started trying to make you choke on his finger. you’d be lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t like the way he treated you. “there you go, nice and wet.” he seemed satisfied when he made you gag enough for your eyes to water, it was exactly what he wanted to see. “back to your sweet pussy...”

you took a deep breath as he removed his finger from your mouth, saliva wetting the corner of your lips as he slowly put his finger back inside you, pumping in and out again. “you’re going too slow.” your words came out with a spark of discontent.

“yeah, princess? let’s do this your way then... is that fast enough for you?” the question was almost on purpose, just because he absurdly increased the pace of his fingers and wanted to see if you’d answer him without sighing. which you didn’t, and like the good bastard he always was, this served to make him feel way proud about the effect he had on you. “or do you need a little more?”

he put another finger inside you, making you let out a restrained moan as you bit your lower lip, then he stopped. “no. i wanna hear you. now... or i’ll stop again.” he warned, moving his fingers inside you again. hearing you moan was like listening to music, he couldn’t get tired, especially knowing that he was the one making you moan like that.

but, rafe was weak and you could see the bulge growing in his pants, but he was too busy pleasuring you to care about how horny he felt.

“rafe,” you called him, your hand slowly moving towards his thigh. he was making you feel so fucking good, it was fair that you did the same for him too. “let me touch you too... please.” a smirk began to appear on his lips when he heard you asking to touch him, that was the last straw and he knew he couldn’t deny you anything—not when his fingers were so deep in your pussy.

“yes, princess, whatever you want. my cock is yours... to do what you want.” he grunted, using his free hand to pull his pants down, a little bit, just so he could pull his cock out of his boxers. thick and hard, waiting for your touch. then, he took your hand, guiding it towards his erect member and wrapping your fingers around it. “mhmmh... sweet girl.”

he began to arch his hips upwards as he thrust his fingers deeper inside you again and again, pumping in and out quickly, your moans intensifying and making him feel ever closer to a pleasurable end. he was so worked up for you.

“i’m going to...” your legs were going weak, your fingers squeezing his cock as they moved up and down. your mumbling was intense and messy, you had to look at him and damn, what a sight. you could see his cock glistening with his pre-cum, as if it was offering itself to you. “... fuck.”

“use your... words, princess...” rafe moaned hoarsely, his digits slowing way too much just so he could appreciate your expression of pleasure, the expression of someone who was so close to break down.

“yes... mmhm... i’m going to... come...” each of the words that came out of your mouth dragged out like a long moan. he could feel how much you were squeezing his fingers, moving your hips towards them and almost closing your legs—he knew your stress was dissipating at that moment, seeing the satisfaction reflecting in your eyes.

a low chuckle escaped him, he pumped his fingers in and then, they were completely out of you, so he could just put them all the way down inside you again. back and forth until your inner thighs were shaking. “and so am i...” he grunted, using his free hand to guide your hand one more time, making you stroke him faster and harder than before. “come for me, sweet princess... let me know i made you come like you needed.”

it didn’t take long, your orgasm came like a flood that almost left you drowsy. your breathing was labored, your legs weak and shaking, just like you wanted—just like you needed, the stress of your college life finally leave you alone for a while.

meanwhile, rafe next to you had his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of your hand on his cock, making him see stars until he was a cumming mess. the jets of cum on his bare stomach making him notice how intense he was with you and how only you could provide that to him. “this would be embarrassing if i hadn’t made you cum just now,” he grumbled before straightening up in the driver’s seat to grab a roll of toilet paper from the backseat. yeah, of course he had that there. “here if you need, my princess.”

the emphasis he placed on the possessive pronoun might stress you out if you weren’t simply too busy still thinking about how amazing his fingers felt. you watched him clean himself out of the corner of your eye before doing the same, wiping yourself down and lifting your panties back into place—as if nothing had happened.

“thank you.” despite your behavior, it was clear that this would give him a few good days without having to deal with you insulting him for any little reason you could think of. eventually, he’d totally win you over, it was just a matter of time.

rafe was almost overjoyed to know that he was your escape valve, glad to be able to take advantage of the chances you gave him, especially because he’d make good use of each one of them. “how about we go get something to eat now? i’m so hungry that i could eat you.” he said, the confusing face you made when you didn’t understand what he had said was priceless.

“what did you just say?”

“nothing. it’s the weed.”

REQUESTS ARE OPEN.⠀⠀feel free to send me asks and suggestions in my inbox, you’ll be welcome. ꒰ ˶> ˕ <˶ ꒱ ♡

©⠀𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐙𝐓, 2025.⠀don’t use my work without my consent.

[partycatty]

older!johnny cage > overheard

you're caught in the act of swooning over your boss

notes: i'm not even fuckin playing i just woke up from my nap in a cold sweat with this idea haunting my mind so here i am. i truly honestly genuinely cannot stop thinking about dilf johnny and his thick fucking arms and how much i want him to [REDACTED]

[ masterlist ]

• during your break from training, you managed to squeeze in a meal break with one of your closest friends. it was just the two of you, laughing and for once breaking the stoicism implanted into your demeanors from training ruthlessly.

• "jesus, commander cage really kicked our asses today," your friend whined, rolling her shoulder. "i get we're fighting against demons and elementals, but did we really need to run twenty miles?"

• "it wasn't all bad," you shrug, poking at your food. "we've done worse, i feel."

• "oh hush, you had the time of your life," your friend groaned, lightly pushing into your shoulder with a smirk. "you and johnny cage got to run beside each other in formation." your friend was sure to say his name in an announcer voice, wiggling her fingers as she pretended to read a large sign.

• you huff, planting a fist on the table as you try to conceal your embarrassment with faux anger. "oh my god shut up..."

• your mind wanders to earlier in the day. johnny decided to wear only a tank top instead of a long sleeve with a vest, giving you a delicious view of his arms as they pumped during the run. while you two didn't talk, he shared panting encouragements by your side, telling you you were doing so good and how much further you had left. it made running feel almost impossible as each word and grunt knocked the wind from you.

• "jesus, look at you," your friend laughs at your dreamy expression as you replay the memory. "you're down bad, girl, anyone and their mother could tell."

• "is it that obvious?" you murmur, burying your face with your hands. "i'm doomed."

• "nah, you might have a shot," she insists, pulling your hands from your face. "he might be into younger women, most celebrities are."

• "but he's not just a celebrity, he's our superior," you whine, rolling your head back. "i just watch his movies and pretend i'm the love interest."

• "oh, it's bad bad," she laughs, looking past you for a moment. her smile falters.

• "can you blame me? ugh," you rake a hand through your hair. "he's all muscle, he could just pick me up and snap me like a twig! normally i'd settle for height alone but holy fuck he's built like a brick fucking wall!"

• your friend falls silent.

• "and don't even get me started on his age," you point an accusatory finger. "he is 50 something and so fucking fine i can't even bring myself to focus on literally anything ever. i watched some of his old movies, and he literally aged like the finest fucking wine any vineyard has ever even dreamed of making! thank god his daughter is the commander because if he stood around and told me what to do i'd behave so much like a dog it would embarrass me. he is the god damn devil in disguise and i sure a shit don't have a single chance of him even looking in my direction with any more than a smile because at the end of the day i'm just a sad little recruit crushing on a guy who probably has a massive di—"

• "i'm fifty-nine," you hear a low, horrifyingly familiar voice in your ear. you can't even bring yourself to turn around, smile dropping and eyes widening. the only thing you can bring yourself to do is stare across the table at your friend, who's as equally still. maybe if you were still enough, he wouldn't see you. like a dinosaur.

• "lieutenant," you breathe out after a long silence, drunk on the smell of his cologne. "we were just... t-talking about you."

• "oh yeah?" his voice is rumbly, a teasing inflection making you want to burst out in tears. you had a faint suspicion he was behind you the entire time, something he confirmed before you could muster the strength to speak. "sounded more like it was just you."

• "well," you wonder if you can outrun him, stammering as you try to talk yourself out of this. "you know..."

• you finally get the courage to spin in your chair, turning around to face him. he's towering over your sitting form, a shit-eating smirk on his lips.

• "i'm sorry, sir, i'll... i'll do extra push-ups, i'll go overtime on training, scrub the toilets, anything to—"

• he holds a hand up, waving it away as he shakes his head slowly.

• "don't stress it," he stands up straight, crossing his arms. oh my god his arms. "but, uh... just a word, in my office, when you have the chance." you almost miss the wink he sends at you, but you caught it just as he spun on his heel and walked out, a cocky sway to his hips.

• you spin back around, slack jawed at your friend, who's red from holding in her scream of excitement.

• "he's totally gonna bang you on his desk," she finally spits out, covering her mouth immediately after. you just lower your head, hitting it against the table in defeat.

• who knows what he's gonna do to you in his office?

[astro-nomaly]

also how many AUs do you have in your brain?? because I'm betting there's a LOT and I would love to hear some lore (I'm gonna conspiracy theory the shit out of these)

That’s a loaded question man but uh I’ll try to list them. Ig this is like a master post for my AU’s lol. Ninjago AU’s alone:

1. To Kill A Legend. Ninjago x Breath of the Wild fusion fic where Lloyd is the Prince of Hyrule and has to save all his dead siblings from giant mechanical dragon monsters and also kick Overlord ass. My current fic ofc 🫶

a. Calamity Hero: au of TKAL where the Shrine of Resurrection doesn’t work and Lloyd is reincarnated. New Lloyd has to deal with everyone treating him like his predecessor. Takes place only 16 years after the Calamity and not canon

b. Hero of Legend (is it an au if it’s canon to the main au?) basically just the first ever hero of destiny

c. Hero of Time (canon to TKAL): traveled the time stream to fight the Time Twins and man am I tired of the word time. Doomed by the narrative

d. True Prince (name pending/semi-canon to TKAL I haven’t decided) wherein everyone thinks Morro is the hero of destiny but it’s actually Lloyd, who was adopted into the royal family

e. Oni Hero (canon to TKAL): a hero of destiny who beat back an invading Oni army. TKAL Lloyd’s direct predecessor

2. The Graveyard Shift aka the love of my life. Modern au with ghost magic. Lloyd, Harumi, and Akita are all best friends - Conduit, Quiet One, and Red are mortal enemies. The unbreakable bonds of love ig. I WILL be writing this trust. (It uh. It has a playlist. Some songs are just for vibes, some directly reflect the characters and no I won’t be saying which is which)

a. Attack Dog au. Harumi blackmails Akita into helping her kidnap the Conduit. My favorite spin-off of the graveyard shift

b. Bad Ending - harumi makes the wrong decision in either one of two situations and dooms the narrative

c. Obligatory swap AU where they swap places lol

d. Mentor AU where Mystake isn’t killed and lives to mentor Lloyd

e. Sidekick AU. Basically what was the original version of TGS where instead of trying to murder him, Red is basically Lloyd’s animal sidekick. She’s only ever in her wolf form while they’re dealing with the Quiet One and he has no idea she’s a person. He thinks she’s a weirdly liminal dog or smth idk

f. Painted Skin AU. Harumi is a Painted Skin Demon, so she doesn’t have to murder people to turn into them. Being a demon somehow makes her more redeemable

g. Jfc this is getting ridiculous okay uhm. Enemy of My Enemy AU (name pending) where Harumi snatches Lloyd before any of the Conduit-Quiet One-Red shenanigans happen, Akita still figures out her best friends are a cultist and the Conduit respectively and goes on a reluctant mission to save Lloyd, Lloyd tries his hand at redeeming Harumi while trapped in a cult, and Harumi realizes how bad she is at her job. I hate myself.

3. Sword and Shield. In an effort to use his son’s power for himself, evil demigod of destruction Garmadon turns Lloyd into a living weapon. Brad finds Lloyd in an abandoned monastery 50 years later and they fall in love on a quest to break his curse. Fluffy ❤️ comes with a playlist

a. Armor AU. Garmadon manages to hold onto Lloyd and use Magic Sword Demigod to conquer most of Ninjago. Brad, part of a rebel force, is sent in as a spy for an upcoming assassination on the Emperor. In a twist of fate, he ends up accidentally kidnapping Garmadon’s most prized and valuable weapon.

b. Fuckin uh Helm AU idk I’m trying to theme these aus on weaponry. I blame Missa for this. Basically Lloyd doesn’t get to shapeshift into human form, he’s legit just. Stuck as a sword but he can appear as like. A reflection almost? Like the image of a person in the blade of the sword and Brad can talk to him. Brad is the only one who can hear/see him, and Lloyd is straight up just Stuck like that. Fuck me and my adhd goddammit

4. Magical Girl AU consisting of 3 installments (potentially 4 when I get my shit together)

-> Pretty Pretty Please I Wanna Be A Magical Girl! Origin story of the core five (OG 4 + Nya) and how they all became Magical Girls (this isn’t a genderswap au Magical Girl is just the job title)

-> Pretty Pretty Please I Don’t Wanna Be A Celestial Guardian! Lloyd centric but sometimes also everyone else centric. Lloyd really doesn’t want to be a Magical Girl - unfortunately, everyone else does

-> Pretty Pretty Please I Don’t Wanna Be A Wishing Star! Lloyd is finally a Magical Girl and constantly duking it out with evils beyond human comprehension or smth

5. Crossroads AU. Instead of staying at the monastery post-merge, Lloyd goes out to find the rest of his family himself. Along the way, he adopts a new friend group of one-off minor characters from older seasons

6. Who You Gon’ Call? Morro isn’t a bad guy in Posession and he and Lloyd team up to trick/sabotage the other ghosts and stop the Preeminent before she can bust out

7. The Final Phonecall. Not my au, it belongs to @thegreengoose22 but I’ve been writing the fic for it

8. Motherfucker. Okay uhhhhhh Key to your Dragon’s Heart AU (yes I know the name is corny idgaf) wherein Lloyd Garmadon is a very powerful, very beautiful witch everyone wants to marry, and Brad Tudabone is not exempt from that list. This is slightly crack and also based off that old tumblr post about the shapeshifting cat witch

9. Coat Rack. Jfc okay Brad meets Lloyd, the restricted and super unwilling spouse of some rich fuck who stole his animal pelt, effectively trapping him in marriage, and helps get the pelt back and falls in love along the way. It’s a selkie au idk what else you want from me

10. I’m accepting my fate: Princess Bride AU. It’s the Princess Bride but with Greenflower idk what else I can say here

11. Bedrock. A random Steven Universe au that hasn’t left me alone for over 3 years but I will literally never write. I go insane making up Gem culture and religion and a whole war doing a societal reformation- I was crazy. I’m still crazy. Don’t ever think I’m not crazy

12. The Thing About Mom. Another Steven Universe au where Lars died during the Gem war on earth and Rose brought him back as a pink zombie. He and Steven meet and become brothers

13. (Jfc-) okay Full Diamond AU where Steven is raised on Homeworld as Pink Diamond, and utterly spoiled but ultimately trapped just like his mom was. For his birthday - or whatever the equivalent is on Homeworld - he’s given a very special present: a human named “Con-nie”. Who is. Less than pleased.

I’m. I’m insane. I have a lot of AUs. I have too many aus. These are just the ones I actively think about. I’ll answer asks about any one of these I love them so much you don’t UNDERSTAND

[unicornconnor]

Oh if you’re up for it, I’d love to know more about Connor! Anything you’re willing to share? No pressure of course

I want to talk about him ENDLESSLY, but what stops me is that I know english terribly, and translator do so many strange things. But I will try… Just some superficial random facts

Throughout Rebirth and Retribution, Connor fought hard to break his smoking habit, trying to cut it down to one cigarette a day (or would be better, quit altogether). In exchange, he started eating more sugar. But broken legs nullified all his efforts, and he began to smoke even more than before. At first, all he did while recovering was smoke and smoke and smoke and mope

Dude has terrible eating habits. He usually eats his daily allowance, but here's what's on his menu💀 fast food, energy drinks and something that should have been thrown out of the fridge three days ago. Thanks for not eating from the trash, bro🙏

I reworked his villainous suit a couple of times. Here's the first version (what, evil buzz lightyear?!)

I have a strong association with green and purple for Connor. I think those are his true colors, but he really wants to be red. Red is a much easier way to show who Connor is (a hot-tempered dumbass). Deep down he's purple and green, but on the outside he's red…um, yeah…. The final version of his suit looks more like…motorcyclist????

If Connor were a flower, it would be a bulgarian columbine

He'd like to be cool like a shark, but in reality he's more a shabby beaten dog in a shabby ridiculous shark suit

He's loser lol. He got hit by everyone in Los Diablos who wanted to hit him

My friend and I have AU where the villain is a joint project of two Re-Genes who escaped from the Farm. Connor - muscles, Ryou - brain. Ryouuuuuu, my boy!!!! (however in this AU he doesn't have a puppet)

They have a very complicated but very close relationship at the same time. Connor literally ran away from the Farm for the second time to kick his best friend's ass. He was fixated on the thought that Ryou had left him alone in this nightmare. Boys just need to beat each other half to death sometimes to clear their relationship, it's okay

Connor has almost no problem accepting himself as a Re-Gene. He knows exactly who he is and he wants Re-Genes to have the same rights as humans. However, he's afraid of how people react to Re-Genes. And he is just furious with how Ortega simply said that he hates and fears Re-Genes and then FORGOT that he said it, that it is such a small thing to him

Ughhhhhhhh…the boy suffers from toxic masculinity. He would rather die than cry or admit that he is hurt and bad. I think his behavior is full of stereotypical male habits, which he himself suffers from. The farm trained him well in this regard. He only cried once in front of Ryou, and in the hospital Ortega saw him having a nervous breakdown. Dude lost an eye because he decided that it was better than saying "sorry". Bruh

Positive side, Connor is categorically against killing, and he likes being a hero-vigilante more than a villain. He's easy to manipulate, pretending that you're crying, in pain, lonely, defenseless, etc. ahahaha

[fictionismyreality3]

Hi! I love your writing and i was wondering if you could write something where it’s Bradley and the reader’s wedding and for the sendoff they do something like this causeI thought its was so cute. If you can’t that’s totally fine but thanks anyway! 🫶

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyRCdL3uZL8/?igsh=Zmx5NWd6aW1rOXRn

A Day to Remember

Tags: Rooster x reader

Notes: hi babes!! Thank you much for the request, sorry it took so long, school is kicking my ass 😅

Warnings: weddings, romance and everything that comes with it

"No. There's no way I'm gonna have oragami F-16s thrown at my head on my wedding day." You laughed incredulously. 

When Bradley had proposed, you thought your life couldn't get any better. You had a dream job, a dream man, and friends that had been exactly what you needed, even though they were unexpected. Telling the squad went exactly how you expected, everyone was more excited than they had been when Roo and Maverick survived the Dagger mission. But no one had been more thrilled than Phoenix. When Pheonix asked to help plan the wedding, you were hesitant at first. 

You had first-hand experience with her lack of party-planning skills. Somehow, even though she was incredibly organized during her work, the woman had an utterly disastrous record with parties. 

And your wedding was going to be a pretty big party. 

But how could you say no to Phoenix? She had been there for you through everything. From showing up at your door with pints of ice cream when your favourite character died in the show you were watching to going full Godzilla on the new recruits that tried to hit on you. It was nearly impossible to say no to her when she pulled her puppy dog eyes out and started reciting every favour you owed her. 

So you agreed.

"C'mon, please? It will be cute, I promise." She pleaded as you continued to put your toppings on your pizza. 

It was Wednesday, which Phoenix had decided was the designated wedding planning day. She would show up with a bottle of whatever you guys wanted to drink and you would make the pizza, frozen to accommodate for the cooking skills neither of you possessed.

"Look, I already let you get away with the abundance of mason jars, I'm not getting divebombed by a bunch of the planes that we fly." You grinned. 

Rolling her eyes, Phoenix conceded, and that was how a lot of the planning was settled. Phoenix would bring up hundreds of crazy ideas, and you would filter through her overly enthusiastic party planning to find the good ones. You and Bob would rein her in whenever she got carried away, especially when she brought up the idea of having a literal rooster at the wedding. 

"I think it's hilarious," Rooster said as you two got ready for the day. He came up behind you, turning you around to face him as he lifted you up onto the bathroom counter. Your hands automatically came to rest on his shoulders, fitting perfectly just like the two of you had when you met. 

"You have one already and you can't seem to get enough, honey." He continued grinning. 

You swatted at his chest, giggling as he began to pepper kisses along your neck, following a path that only he knew down to your collarbone. You tilted your head back to give him access to your soft skin that only he would ever earn, and your words came out in a breathy sigh. 

"I think you just-" Your train of thought halted as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot of your neck. "You just like the idea of a little Roo running around, you brute." 

The rest of that morning consisted of him trying to make said 'little Roo' happen, not that you were complaining. 

The wedding was 3 months away and you were choosing your dress. Payback had insisted you go to the boutique that his grandmother used to run, saying that you could even get a dress for free. You tried to urge against it, but after his granda met you she wouldn't hear a 'no'. 

"Oh, it's so nice that my Rueben made some friends. Let me tell you about the time he.." 

So you agreed. 

Everything was ready and Phoenix was running around like a madwoman trying to orchestrate the chaos of venues, cakes and flowers into one magnificent symphony. It was 3 days out from the wedding and you had gone with your bridesmaids to the hotel Pheonix had rented to have some much-needed girl time. Rooster and the rest of the guys had done the same, probably off partying somewhere under Mav's watchful eyes. 

As you sat getting your nails done, the colour a baby blue that Rooster had picked out, you continued to poke at Phoenix for the details of the wedding. She had demanded to keep you out of the loop when it came to the majority of the venue decoration she had selected. Even Rooster wouldn't spill when you called him that night. 

"I don't wanna face her wrath, honey. You know-" He began. 

"Hey! No talking to the groom. It's bad luck!" Phoenix said as she plucked the phone from your hand.

When your wedding day finally came, you were a ball of nerves. As you got blindfolded and brought up to bridal sweet to get ready, you could only imagine what combinations of decor she had concocted. In your mind, you replayed the time she tried to throw a Christmas party for the squad that resulted in one too many poppers, a fireplace, and a whole lot of firetrucks. 

"Ready, kid?" Maverick's voice broke you out of your thoughts. 

Taking one last look in the mirror at yourself, the dress you had picked out making you look like a princess, you nodded and took his arm. As the two of you finally stopped in front of the doors that stood between you and your future, your heart swelled with anticipation. The sound of Bruno Mars 'Just the Way You Are' being played on the piano filled your ears, and Mav straightened where he stood, looking down at you with a proud smile. 

"That's our cue, kid. You got this." He whispered to you as the doors opened. 

All at once every ounce of fear or worry you had been holding on to dissipated. 

Phoenix had outdone herself. 

White Calla Lilies hung from the ceiling, surrounded by fairy lights and other perfectly placed bobbles. Every table was decorated with a centrepiece of forget-me-nots and daisies. The teary smiles of your family and friends stared at you in happiness. Even the mason jar candles sat in just the right amounts. 

Your eyes locked on Bradley, whose tears were already flowing, and you walked down the aisle without hesitation. 

Mav handed you off to Bradley, muttering a few protective words before going to take his seat as the priest began to speak. 

"Hey, you." You whispered to Bradley.

"Hey, hun." He choked out through tears. 

Both of you stood at the altar, grinning ear to ear at each other. Your vows to each other made sure there wasn't a dry eye left in the room. 

"You may now kiss the-" The priest began to say.

He didn't even get a chance to finish before Rooster already had his hands on either side of your face and was slamming his lips to yours. He was kissing you so hard your hands shot out to hold the lapels of his suit jacket so your swooning didn't cause you to fall over.

The crowd erupted in cheers, and you could hear the distinct sound of Hangman and the other guys hooting and hollering as Bradley poured every single ounce of love he had for you into the kiss. 

You had your first dance to 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough', and before you knew it you and Rooster were being whisked away by Phoenix for your send-off. 

The same send-off that she had refused to tell you about. 

"Just don't get mad!" She said quickly.

"Nat? What do you mean? What did you do?" You looked to Rooster for help but he was wearing the same conspiratorial grin as Phoenix. 

Before you could say anything else, she was already pushing both of you outside. It took a second for your eyes and ears to adjust to the sight and sound of your cheering loved ones who were lining the steps of the venue. It took even longer to process what you saw in each of their hands. 

Instead of baskets of rice, everyone there was holding what looked like a piece of paper. You were about to ask Bradley what was going on, but then something hit you in the side of your head. Startled, you went to turn to see what hit you, only to be greeted with the sight of a mischievous Phoenix holding two origami planes. 

Two F-16s to be exact. 

Before you could react, you and Rooster were getting pelted by a rain of paper F-16s. You burst out laughing as he grabbed your hand, pulling you to the limo so quickly you barely got a chance to wave goodbye to everyone. 

You let out a sigh of contentment as you slipped into the limo, looking back at the perfect venue and perfect friends who had planned it all. 

Okay, maybe you'd let Phoenix plan every party you had. 

[sensei-venus]

Serpent-Cide (3/?)

(Part One|Part Two|Part Three|TBA|)

(Unedited) (Switches POV’s a lot in this chapter, Sweet Pea is a little shit, Sweet Pea is big boy 6’3 and I won't let y'all forget that😈, Reader is having a moment y'all.)

Sweet Pea was a mess.

I mean that in a bad way, not the cute fun way that most people say it when talking about someone.

I mean he was a mess, a walking nightmare and possibly a live train wreck. Being forced to show him around was one of the worst things that could have happened to me. I had way better things to do then stay with him. At this point it was almost like babysitting. If babysitting included walking around school with a MAN, not a boy, a man who was bigger then half the student body.

Not only was he huge but he also had a mouth on him. While most of the time he was quiet, the other half he was not. He chose to quietly pick and mess with anyone and anything he chose. If something caught his eye at just the right time, he was going of his way to mess with it. If it was a person, he was digging at them. Harassing them for a moment before pulling away and walking off.

Laughing and snickering at something. It was very apparent that he knew when to shut his mouth, and sometimes he didn't which dug into my nerves.

Just like his voice, his verbal altercations were deep and quick. His comebacks were sharp and were always on the tip of his tongue. He knew how to get on someone's bad side at the drop of a hat. I felt like I was extremely lucky because he didn't get himself into too much shit.

He loomed over me as we walked the halls. At first I didn't really understand what he was doing. I thought he would walk next to me to try and show some kind of dominance, like he didn't need me to help him around the school. His outburst earlier that day made me feel like he would want to one-up me, in his own way. Maybe he would even jump ahead of me and try to get to his class quicker. That wasn't the case as we walked to our first period.

He decided he was going to try and walk behind me the whole way there.

Almost trying to ride my ass the whole time. I swear he almost stepped on the back of my shoes a few times. I tried my best not to look back at him, feeling like that might piss him off or earn me some other kind of outlash like before. The whole time I could feel his presence behind me. It felt like pin pricks along my back which made me twitch a little in my step. Was he doing it on purpose I had no idea. But it was slowly rubbing me the wrong way. I

didn't know how long I could take it.

“So when's lunch? I'm already starting to get bored of this place.” Sweet Pea's voice echoed from behind me as he kicked at my seat.

I could feel my teeth grind in the back of my mouth.

We were about three periods at this point. I could tell he was already starting to lose what little focus he had. Most people probably couldn't tell if not for his loud complaining. Most people would see it as him complaining, to me he was just whining. That's all he had done all three classes, it didn't help that he kept trying to sit as close to me as possible.

I had no idea why seeing as all he did was whine.

I notice very quickly his little quirks, the ones that showed as he started to fall down the hole of boredom.

The way his foot would tap ever so slightly, the jiggle of his leg. He would pick at his knuckles to the point he had small scratches, barely drawing blood. They were pinkish and red by the end of second period. I honestly wondered if he even noticed it, if he felt his nails dig into his own skin. I was a little surprised when I watched his dig his nails into the set of dog tags he wears around his neck.

At some point I was scared he was going to try and put them in his mouth like a child. Luckily he didn't and only rubbed his nails and fingertips along the old metal plates.

Suddenly I heard a loud sound of popping from behind me. I felt my eyes twitch.

He was popping his knuckles.

I felt my face grow a little flushed. Although I had noticed the marks on his knuckles, I hadn't really taken a moment to look at his hands very well. I wonder what they looked like. I could only imagine they matched his body. Large and stronger to match his towering frame. He wasn't overly bulky but more so tall and thick muscles.

Now I felt even worse, why was I trying to think about his possible muscles under that stupid black t-shirt and serpent jacket.

I almost snapped the poor pencil in my hand.

“Helllloooo??” his voice boomed.

“When the bell rings, God can you shut up for five minutes.” I hissed, not even trying to turn around to look at him. I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my skull at this point. I could almost feel the way his foot slowly came to a stop. The movement dying down in seconds. I felt him before I could hear him. The breathing on my neck, right by my ear.

“So is the food here good or it just as shitty as Southside High-”

The sound of the shrill bell rang through the class. He ever so slightly pulled back. Leaving only warm breath fanning over my ear for a few seconds. Students hurried to grab their things and rush out of the cramped classroom. The teacher tried her best to slow them down but failed. Most of them piled out of the room, talking loudly and pushing each other to leave.

Quickly I packed my stuff away in my bag before turning around to find Sweet Pea already ready to go. His dark eyes lazily watch me as I shove my bag up onto my shoulder. We stare at each other for a good minute, until I realize he's waiting for me to walk in front of him.

Walking out of the room and make our way down to the lunch room. Sweet Pea is hot on my trail the whole time.

The hallway was usually one of the worst parts of my day as I would have to wade through the multiple crowds. Today seems a little better, most likely due to Sweet Pea’s presence. People slowly make way for him as he walks closer to me. For once I don't mind the way he sticks close to my back. It's almost like the whole hallway parts just for him.

“They like this every day or is it just because it's me?” he asks as we move passed the sea of judgmental eyes. The sudden urge to crack a joke came up but soon stopped.

“I wish. Maybe if they always acted like this I wouldn't hate coming down this hallway.” I wanted to tell him the truth. Going down this hallway every day was excruciating most of the time. If you were lucky no one would notice you, meaning you could get around everyone. Most days you were stuck or caught by some of the jocks or maybe one of the cheerleaders.

Sometimes it was just shoves and pushes. Other times it was getting your books or bag thrown in a garbage can on a whim.

Worst even, getting beat on by someone bigger than you for a laugh.

I stopped at that you thought as we made our way into to lunch room. It was packed with both the old and new students trying to get in line to get food. Almost all the tables were completely filled. My eyes were trained on the crowd of students as we both stood in line. Trying to spot the tale tale top of a special beanie. Not seeing it I could only guess that Jughead had made his way outside to grab a table.

The line for food slowly started to go down as the minutes ticked by. Sweet Pea was next to me as we grabbed our lunches. He stuffed his plate full of just about everything the lunch line was offering. I didn't question it with how big the guy was. His height factor reflects how much he needs to keep up with his growth.

We made our way out of the lone with no issue and walked outside towards some of the outdoor tables.

Breathing a sigh of relief I spotted Jughead and his little group. No surprise that none of the original vroho was sitting at the table with him, just Tori and Fang. Sweet Pea passed me, slamming his tray down next to Fang with a loud crash. Fang flinched a little which made Sweet Pea laugh and slap him on the shoulder hard, making him rock a little. Both of them chuckled as Sweet Pea finally sat down. Jughead looked at the two before turning his gaze to me.

I gave a small wave before turning around and heading inside.

The quiet uncrowded library was calling my name.

—————————

Sweet Pea didn't really know what to think about Reader at first.

For a split second, he felt just a little bad about yelling at her when they first met. But walking into that school was hard, being surrounded by northsiders who wanted all of them dead. It didn't even matter if they were serpents or not they were still southsiders. They where all still on the northsiders shit list in his mind.

Maybe that's why when she approached Jughead he got defensive.

He had forgotten that Jughead went to school here, not everyone had a issue with him. Maybe the pack of serpents, but not once loved Jughead.

In that moment it didn't matter that she was smaller, chubbier and maybe just a little cute. She was still a northsider deciding to wall up to them. Her stance was lazy as she stood in front of Jughead, moments passed and he just snapped. Getting into her face and calling her out.

When she snapped right back at him he felt his heart jump.

_____________________________________

“Shes not coming over here is she?” Sweet Pea remarked as he looked to Jughead.

The girl never made her way over to them, he turned a little to watch her walk away and back into the school. His eyes briefly watched her figure disappear behind the large lunchroom doors. He turned back to the table to find Jugheas still gazing back at the doors, his eyes squinted.

“Reader would rather…..Reader is in her own little world of strange.” he words were bland and almost emotionless. That caused one of the boys eyebrows to raise. He stuffed a fry in his mouth as Fang replied “ Im getting the feeling she doesn't like us that much? It's not like I'm shocked or anything, I'm just stating the obvious here.” he laughs. Toni rolls her eyes at him and sits back a little.

Sweet Pea looked up at him as he chewed his food, with a full mouth he said “So she's a weirdo? Didn't know northsiders had them too, kinda figured you guys would weed them out or something.” he scooped up a fat glob of ketchup with his fries. Toni shrugged “ Dont want to sound like a downer but I agree with Sweets on this.” Fang nodded along side her. Jughead let out a small sigh. His eyes fully coming back into focus with them.

“Listen Reader just has her own thing going on. She's one of the only people I know in this school that genuinely doesn't like being around people, in others business for that matter. She doesn't like messing with people so long as they don't mess with her. She's crafty too, I'll tell you that.

Toni raised a brow and smirked, she poked the boy in his side.

“Does Jug have a little crush??” she almost giggled a little to go along with her sarcastic statement.

Jughead rolled his eyes “On Reader? No way, that would involve her letting me get in her space- shit even taking her time of day. I don't think she's ever let anyone even think about having a crush on her. You would actually have to know her to do all that.” he grimaced a little. Thinking about all the times the chubby girl had ditched him, snuck away from him, or straight up blew him off to go do something else.

Multiple times he asked for her help with paper while in the library together. If he asked to do them with her she refused, the next day she would just bring him a fully edited paper before wandering back off to who knows where. She was hardly ever up front and would rather stay in the shadows. Never to be looked upon, never asked to be anyone life lifeline.

“That's funny seeing as I've been up her ass all day during classes.” Sweet Pea smirked. He knew he was getting on the girl's nerves. He was actually enjoying it a little. Scratching at his neck a little he found Jughead just staring at him. Eyes were slightly wide as if he was in some kind of disbelief. Something inside him felt good to see the uptight guy so silently stunned.

“I thought I told you not to mess with her.”

“I did! Kinda? I couldn't help but mess with her just a little bit okay? Honestly I feel like you overdoing it when talking about her. I have only been around her for like half the day and she hasn't acted like anything you saying. Is she Moody? Oh yeah definitely. But is she so fidgety that she runs away at the slight poke? Nah. She is a pushover.” he rolled his eyes at the newest serpent. The or eyes meet for a short period of time.

Jughead was ever so slightly surprised at the sudden turn of events.

Reader was not a pushover by any means.

“All she did was hiss at me, like a pissed-off cat when I started bugging her. She didn't make any attempt to leave or ditch me. Yeah, she didn't talk to me unless I got her to but still. She wasn't a complete shut-in around me. And fuck man she's sarcastic. She's like you but on steroids.” he chuckled a little after swallowing a big bit of his food.

Jughead scoffed a little as he looked back at the school.

“Well if that's the case, we may have a new advantage at this school.”

The others all looked back at him.

Sweet Pea stopped eating for a moment, his eyes moving from Jug to slowly drifting to the school. His eyes followed the other boy's gaze.

Only time would tell what Jughead meant by that.

[fwitoley]

Bad Synopsis Meme

aww, thank you for the tag, @sassyandclassy94

Rules: Summarize your fics, but badly. some of these i have never even talked about on this blog but oh well lol

Wish: The City of Dreams - self-insert royal love child (adopted) throws hands

"Jaye TBB Fic" - no title. just ideas. consists of starvation, slow burn and a culture i pulled out of my ass

Warrior's Honor - needs a rework. idiot friends who love each other sm but end up fighting. their respective single parents are constantly two seconds away from an affair, but one of them turns out to be a jerk and the other contributes to his death

The Bad Batch Oneshots - angst. just angst. i need requests. may or may not be my fic canon hahahahahaha

Bluejay: A Star Wars Story - more fantasy culture/political drama (prequel to "Jaye TBB Fic"). All the siblings hate each other for no apparent reason. mc goes to war just to piss off her sister.

Scarlett Ties - a sad attempt at a fix-it fic that makes them worse before they get better. found family left for dead, and the only thing mc has left is a wet dog of a man (affectionate) who ghosts her for a year pretending to be dead (wasn't pretending, actually almost died)

"Done Hume x OFC" - prolly gonna end up being like every other don hume fic out there. prolly never gonna figure something original out. prolly never gonna write it 🤷🏽‍♀️

"Space Book" - an original novel. cute alien toddlers with powers of life and death. can't decide between morally grey government figure and stuck up teenager as mc. villain kicks ass, i love him sm

"A Second Chance" - yeah, the title sucks, i know. essentially hamilton marries eliza but angelica gets with laurens instead, except it's ghost trick. they got a weird little love-square going on here. oh and they all die lol

ask me quessstionnnsssssss (taglist joining is appreciated too :3)

no-pressure tags: @bonnibelleangelica, @shyamanuensis, @disaster-by-chance, @here-comes-the-moose and anyone else who would like to join!