#and decided everything was Atsushi's fault

[beans-beneath-moonlight]

I pretty much never have dreams about fictional characters, which makes it that much weirder that I've had dreams about soukoku no less than 6 times now

[yoditopascal]

Everything I Lost But Found In You

summary: Shinji reflects on everything he lost and gained from Aizen’s betrayal.

warnings: fluff, slice of life, post TYBW, pre-CFYOW, Sen is a tsundere, slightly suggestive content

a/n: I’ve been working on this OC since 2008 and I’m so excited to share her with you guys! The first chapter is short and sweet but I promise the next ones will be longer!

Masterlist//Next Chapter

Everything

Shinji leaned against the wooden railing of his office of the 5th Division headquarters, the air infused with the sweet scent of fresh cherry blossoms, flowing gently through his hair as his wife worked diligently behind him on his paperwork that was now a week late.

As he started to contemplate the twists of fate that had brought them together, warm memories of their earlier days resurfaced to the forefront of his mind. Just as he was starting to get lost in his thoughts the sound of his wife getting to her feet drew him back to his reality. Sen stretches behind him and lets out a huff, as she stood from his pile of unattended documents at his desk, drawing his eye to the undeniable curve of her belly that marked her heavily pregnant form with a smile.

She turned to him, a mix of frustration and affection in her eyes as she started to chide him for letting paperwork pile up so much over the past week.

“I swear the older you get the lazier you get Shinji.” She said with a frown though he could tell from the mischievous shine in her eye that the jab wasn’t serious.

“You can’t keep relying on me to forge your signature, Shinji. I won’t always be here to bail you out, especially when Asahi gets here!” she scolded, but her voice lacking any real bite to it as she rubbed at her swollen stomach. He couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle as he came back into the office space, stepping closer to her and attempting to steal a kiss to her cheek as he gently rubbed her stomach, placing a warm calloused hand over her much smaller one.

“You shouldn’t stress so much. It’s not good for him,” he teased, knowing she wouldn’t let him off the hook entirely. “Besides I said I’d take care of it when we got back, it’s not my fault you decided to start doin’ it before we leave.” he added, knowing how excited she was to see her friends and their kid again even if it was just to watch Chad’s boxing match over at Ichigo and Orihime’s.

Sen smiled at his affectionate antics but swatted him away playfully, “That’s because I knew you wouldn’t do it.” she waved him off as she continued. “Now go and find Atsushi, we gotta leave soon and she’s probably off training with Ichika so I’m sure she’ll need to get cleaned up before we go.”

“Go on, get moving, or we’ll be late!” she urged, her tone light but stern as she waddled past him towards their shared home. “So cold.” Shinji’s expression fell into a mock pout at her dismissal. “At least I know Atsushi loves me,” he quipped back at her retreating form. As Sen walked toward their home to get ready for their trip to the Human World, he continued to admire her form with a smile, hand resting in his cheek as he leaned in the railing of his office once again.

How the hell had he gotten so lucky in life?

The haunting memories of Aizen’s betrayal weighed heavy on him, even to this day, but amidst all the loss, there was a flicker of light, his love for Sen and the family they’ve come to make together never failed to ease his dread over what had come to pass.

He recalled the very first moment their paths crossed back in the tea scented walls of her father Kisuke’s peculiar shop, the warmth he felt the first time she had called him by his first name, their first date that she, to this day, still refused to acknowledge as their first actual date, their first fight, fueled solely by Shinji’s jealousy, over her spending more time with Kensei than him, the first time Sen patched up his wounds and chastised him for not letting her help him in the first place. Their first “I love yous” even though neither of them said it directly, they both knew the implications of what they had said meant to the other.

It was in those moments that he began to understand the depth of her feelings, she loved him, just as fiercely and unconditionally as she loved her family and he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t love her just as strong back then even if he hadn’t known it yet.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

The Purple Sign. Part X

Self-Aware! Atsushi Nakajima x GN! Reader

Description: There's a Purple Sign on your door. Part X

Fluff. Atsushi pampering

Warning: OOC. English is my second language

"I didn't mean to... I am sorry! I am so sorry!" Atsushi's cries can be heard through the closed door. You wanted to go to him and calm him down, reassure him, that everything is fine, yet Yosano, who was bandaging your wrist, stopped you.

"[Y/N], not now. I must finish with bandaging your wrist." you wanted to protest, yet, Yosano's strict gaze stopped you mid-sentence. Yet, you whispered.

"But... Atsushi is..."

"I know" Yosano took another roll of bandages. "But, you won't calm Atsushi down, if he saw your wrist without bandages, believe me."

You decided not to say anything. You wanted, yes, but, Yosano was right. You close your eyes, trying to ignore Atsushi's cries. You heard Fukuzawa's voice, coming from the next room. You can't make out the words, but, if judging by the tone, Fukuzawa tried to calm him down. Soon, voices grew quiet.

Yosano pulled the bandage tighter, your wrist sting, and you winced.

A little accident happened earlier today. You and Atsushi were walking down the stairs to the first floor when Q and Elise ran past the two of you, accidentally hitting Atsushi. He lost his footing, accidentally hitting you. Good news, you were almost on the first floor. The bad news is that, while Atsushi managed to grab the railing, you fell on your hand, spraining your wrist and carefully sliding down the steps to the floor.

It wasn't bad, you didn't even injure your dominant hand. Yet, it was enough to make Atsushi cry and start to apologize again and again.

Yosano checked the bandages and nodded.

"Okay, everything is good now. Don't strain your hand, and it will heal in a few days." Yosano looked at you, her gaze became softer. "Now, go. You looked really worried about Atsushi. And take that." Yosano gave you candy. "For being a good patient."

You stand up, and, after thanking Yosano for first aid and for the candy, left the Medical room. Atsushi and Fukuzawa weren't here.

______

Everyone you ran into asked if you are okay. You quickly assured them, that you were fine and continue searching for Atsushi. He wasn't on the first floor, he wasn't in the basement. You hurry upstairs, to his room.

When you reached his room, you knock. No one was answering, yet, you heard sobbing, coming inside the room.

"Atsushi... Can I come in?"

He didn't answer, yet, his sobs became quieter. You tried again.

"Atsushi, please, I want to talk... Can I come in?"

Still no answer. You decided to change the strategy. You put your hand on a door knob and turned it. The door open slightly. You called for Atsushi again.

"Tsushi, I will walk in, okay?" You gave Atsushi some time to answer. Then you walked in.

Atsushi was sitting on the floor next to the bed, covered with blanket. He adjusted the blanket slightly, and now his face was free. His yellow-purple eyes were staring at your injured hand. You stepped closer to Atsushi and sat near him.

"I am so sorry, [Y/N]! I am so sorry for injuring you..." You put your finger against his lips.

"Atsushi, I am not blaming you. You didn't do anything wrong. It was an accident. And look" You showed him your hand. "It's not that bad. I didn't injure my dominant hand and Yosano told me, that I will be fine in a few days."

Atsushi still looked guilty. You tried again.

"Atsushi, I promise, I am fine."

Atsushi whispered.

"But, still, if it wasn't for me, you won't be injured. It's my fault. I was training to be your bodyguard. And I..." Atsushi drooped, looking at the floor. You put your uninjured hand on Atsushi's shoulder.

"Tsushi, don't blame yourself..."

Atsushi looked away.

"I feel like, I must do something to make it up to you."

You shake your head.

"No, Atsushi, you don't need to..." You sighed. Atsushi was too set on blaming himself. You must find a way to cheer him up. You two stayed silent for a few moments. Then you spoke again.

"Atsushi, can you, please, go into my room now? I have something in mind."

Atsushi looked confused, yet, he nodded.

"Of course, I will be there in a minute."

You nodded, showing, that you heard him, and left the room.

You made a quick detour to get The Purple Sigh from the library.

____

Atsushi already was standing before your bedroom door, when you returned with The Purple Sign. You put it on your bedroom door, ignoring Atsushi's questioning gaze.

"[Y/N], what are you..." You turned towards him.

"I knew, how you can make it up for me. Right now, we will spend the rest of the day and night, taking care of you. We will watch everything you want, we will eat anything you want, and I will cuddle you, until you start purring like a kitten. Got it?" You gently booped Atsushi's nose. He blinked, still confused, and nodded shyly.

"Okay... Let's do this..."

______

You were calling to pizza delivery service. You didn't want to risk and cook for yourself, and, the movie marathon called for some junk food.

"Hey, Atsushi, what kind of pizza you want?" asked you, while Atsushi was choosing the movie to watch. Weretiger mumbles something under his nose and answered.

"You can choose for yourself." Atsushi caught your gaze and hurry to explain himself. "I know, that today we are focusing on me, but I promise, I am fine with every kind of pizza. Choose for yourself."

You shrugged and dial the number of pizza restaurant.

With the corner of your eye, you saw, that Atsushi was picking up family films for today's marathon. He was choosing the ones, that he likes.

_____

You ordered Pepperoni Pizza and Pizza Margarita. Atsushi brought some soda from the kitchen.

You two sat on your bed, near each other. Before you two stand a bed-tray, with cut pizza on the plates, soda cans and can of ice cream.

You two were wearing cozy clothes, sitting under one blanket. Atsushi pressed play button.

The movie started.

______

"Something, I think, that I am not suitable for being your protector." Atsushi whispered. His head was laying on your chest. You were petting his hair.

"I feel, like I am too weak, too small, too much of a coward. That, it would be better, if someone else would protect you." Atsushi mindlessly looked at the screen. You squeeze his shoulder and kissed the top of his head.

"Atsushi, you are more, than enough. You are more, than enough to protect me. You are more, than enough to protect my soul."

Atsushi looked up at you, looking confused. You cupped his face.

"Atsushi, I always looked up at you. Because you tried to be better. Because, despite all the pain, you try to move forward. You have a special kind of strength. And I wish to have that strength in me."

Atsushi looked you in the eyes, shocked... and hopeful.

"You are my hero, Atsushi."

Atsushi crushed you in his embrace. He pressed you against his chest. You heard his voice, that was shaking.

"T-thank you... Thank y-you so m-much... [Y/N]..."

You hugged him in return. Atsushi was so overwhelmed with emotions, that he didn't notice, that he kissed your cheek.

_____

The room was dark. Food was eaten, soda was drunk, last film was over. Atsushi snore, cuddling with you. You ran your fingers through his hair and decide to lightly scratch him behind the ear.

And you heard it. At first, you thought, you were hearing things, but, no, it was real.

Atsushi was making a strange sound. A mix between purring and chuffing. And he was still sleeping.

Atsushi was chuffing in his sleep.

You smiled and continue scratching him behind his ear.

You fall asleep, lulled by his chuffing.

[generalhumancloudalmond]

Part 1: Tea

Part 2: Frindship

Ending 2: Red lycoris

...

White lilies

Platonic!Yandere!Atsushi x Child!Fem!Reader x Platonic!Yandere!Dazai

"I can't believe you did this on purpose, for my sake..."

Covering his face with his hands, Atsushi didn't even look at you, but from his reddened ear tips, you could tell that he was experiencing very strong emotions right now. And all because of you. When he was kicked out from orphanage, you voluntarily go with him.

"Well, actually, you were the only one who protected and helped me in the orphanage, and I just can't cope there without you, so you shouldn't make a selfless act out of it. But I don't know what we should do now either..."

"I'll rob someone!"

A sudden offer made you giggle because you knew he couldn't do something like that.

"Okay... Then I'll go through the trash cans, in case you don't succeed... Let's meet at that battered building then."

"Alright."

Atsushi smiled at you, mentally glad that you weren't angry or judging him for that cruel offer to rob someone. However, now he was very worried that he wouldn't be able to fulfill what was said and, frankly, he would like to rummage in the trash with you, but now he can't give a back. If you can find food and he can find money, then you can spend the night in a nicer place than on the street.

If you only knew that Atsushi would run into Dazai...

"I don't think it's a good idea to wait for the tiger here..."

"Why is that?"

"Because Y/n and I agreed to meet here and it would be bad if..."

"Atsushi, stop. I'll take care of everything."

Or rather, he have already taken care of it.

Footsteps sounded. The detective immediately slammed the book shut, and the boy shuddered. Atsushi wanted to shout for you to run away, but Dazai stopped him, gesturing for silence and staying put. Osamu left, leaving the boy shivering with thrill, fear and cold. He's waiting for the detective to bring you or give you a place to hide tonight. However, instead, he hears a crash and your cry calling to run.

This was tiger understands Atsushi. He would have run away, but the fear for your life is greater than for his own. He's the bait, he brought the tiger. It's all his fault and not yours. Approaching the place, the boy begins to get angrier at himself, tears run down his face. And with every step he hears more and more clearly the roar of an angry tiger.

Dazai jumped out at you from behind, hugging you tightly, he didn't let you move an inch. He put so much effort into hiding you from the mafia, from Mori, even faked your death to discourage the underground organization from looking for you, that now he simply couldn't believe that his whole plan had come true.

"Y/n, my sister."

Dazai buries his nose in your hair, saying something about how much he missed you and how glad it's over. You only think about Atsushi and the mafia that Dazai is in. He'll kill him if he finds out about tiger. Abruptly, you hit the detective on the jaw with your own head. Out of surprise, he lets you go and you stumble dropping some junk.

"Atsushi run!"

A white tiger with a loud roar jumped out right in front of you and looked at Dazai with predatory eyes, covering you with his body.

"And you're faster than I thought. But why don't you attack?"

The animal didn't move, only growled harder, calling for a stop.

"Did you really decide to go on the defensive to protect my Y/n from me?"

The animal's patience is over. The white fur of the tiger stood on end, the pupils, covered with a veil of hatred and anger, narrowed even more, and drool poured out of the gaping mouth. You and Dazai knew that tiger would lose. The tiger is the embodiment of an ability, a useless weapon that doesn't work on Dazai.

You had to do something. You didn't want to lose either Atsushi, who constantly supported you and was by your side, or tiger, who made a rustle on other children and in the orphanage was able to become not only the shadow of his user, but yours too. At the same time, neither the tiger nor, of course, Atsushi have ever wounded anyone. That's probably why both of you stayed at the orphanage for so long.

"Ability: no longer human."

"Wait!"

Too late. The tiger disappeared, leaving its user disarmed. Dazai smiled at you with his kindest smile. He doesn't see anything bad in Atsushi that could harm you, on the contrary, this boy can become very useful if the mafia finds out about you. He just needs a little training. And as for your good attitude towards him, now then Dazai is in the agency, he has every chance to return it.

[yc3iko]

Commit Osamu Dazai x fem!reader

TW: Mention of Suicide

The words on the letter was hard to grasp. One held onto the other's dead body. Wishing they would come back.

- No One's POV -

The agency was on its way. The workload piling up since Dazai wasn't around to help. He went missing for a few days and nobody knew why. Maybe he finally committed the suicide he always wanted. He never once contacted anyone after leaving a heartfelt voicemail. It sounded like crying but nobody knew why. They just continued with their days. Working harder on the cases Dazai was supposed to do yet he wasn't there to help. They tried to call him, to bring him into work, but his phone went straight to voicemail. Kunikida tried knocking on his door, but he never answered. They didn't want to parge into his house, if all he was doing was sleeping.

It's been two weeks since that voicemail.

They were worrying. He hasn't shown up. He hasn't gone to any meetings. It was like he truly did just die. Disappear if that was the right word. He truly didn't want to see anyone. The way the agency was quiet. No laughing from Atsushi and Dazai himself. Nobody bugging Kunikida, making him mess his schedule all up. They all waited for the time he walked through that door, with his smile. The smile that made everyone know it was going to be okay. They wanted him to give them ideas for plans. They needed him like they needed Ranpo. Those two were their mind and heart. They knew how to do things.

Once the door opened. And a person walked right on in.

"How is everyone doing?"

"Mr. Dazai your back!" Atsushi exclaimed. "I am Atsushi," Dazai said. "Where were you?" Kunikida questioned. "Grieving," Was all he said. Just like that. He walked over to his desk. Placing down a letter that was in his hands. He tucked it into the desk drawer.

- Two Weeks since Dazai came back to the Agency -

Everything was slowly going back to the way they were. Kunikida was getting bugged like usual from Dazai. Everyone seemed happy. The smiles that were frowns making their way back onto their faces. Cases were getting solved faster. Dazai's new motivation was shocking everyone. He finished his cases alone. He finished writing reports instead of asking Atsushi to finish them.

Until one day, that all changed by a single question.

It was a normal day at the agency. Dazai seemed like his sleepless eyes were finally gone. The red that was underneath was gone. He was bugging Kunikida, as Atsushi noticed he had a letter that was mixed between his and Dazai's work. He thought it was his since him and Kyoka decided to pass notes to talk about different cases they didn't have together. He opened the letter and it read.

Dear Osamu Dazai.

I want you to know I love you truly.

I will miss you forever but it's my time to go.

Know this was never your fault.

I want you to grow as a person, focus more on your work.

I will protect you from the heavens, as I watch over you.

The most handsome man that ever entered my life.

I love you and I wish you the best darling.

Goodbye Osamu Dazai

- (Y/N) (L/N)

"Dazai what's this?" Atsushi asked. When Dazai looked over, so did everyone else. It was the letter he held when he came back to the agency. "Did you have a lover?" Atsushi asked. "I-I did," Dazai stuttered. That shocked people. He never did. He always had the confidence in his words. Even if some were stupid words that were spit out of his mouth. "Do we ever get to meet them?" Yosano asked. "No, you can't," He answered. "Why? You want to keep this person all to yourself?" Kunikida asked. Dazai took a deep breath and said.

"You can't since she killed herself a month ago."

[nightdemon04]

First try at angst let me know what you think!

I gave this fanfic a very personal spin so i hope it's not too bad.

Angsty? Comfort? Idk you can decide

Warning! Self isolation, mention of sh and sh scars. If any of these trigger you please don't read.

Atsushi Nakajima x gn reader.

Enjoy!!

I splashed water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. Eyes puffy from my latest crying session, i took notice of the scars that are still there but atleast i didn't go that far this time. I was pulled out of my thoughts when my phone started ringing..

Probably Kunikida calling to see where I am, I really wish I hadn't plugged my phone in yesterday, it's been silent for the whole week. Now I'm going to have to explain to everyone why I'm missing for the week, not that any of them bothered to visit to see me. I'll just tell Kunikida I was sick and couldn't get out of bed.

I checked my phone only to see a lot of missed calls and unread messages, I'll answer later. I can't be bothered right now. I lay back in bed staring up, I don't know what happened for me to feel like this. I guess it started when I saw Dazai and the others in a bar without me, they couldn't even bother to invite me. It wasn't even their fault I was away on a mission but it just reminded me of my past and how that went.

Now i'm here talking to no one, going back to how it all was before i joined ADA. I always thought it was normal until i met the people I know now, I can't help let the past haunt me and ruin everything I've build so far.

I should probably atleast text Atsushi, he's probably worried sick about me. I'm suprised he hasn't shown up on my doorstep but I understand. I do live quite a bit away from him. I'm also glad he hasn't shown up, no idea what I'd do. I'm scared to face him. He's the love of my life, he's been there for me since he joined. He gave me the best birthday gift even though he didn't know me. I love him with all my heart so i don't want him to see me like this.

I rubbed my eyes hoping for the tears that I felt building up to dissappear. After a while i fell asleep again, only to be woken up by knocking on my door. I groggily open the door only to see Dazai. "Dazai? What are you doing here?" He pushed me aside and walked inside. He turned to look at me, grabbed my shoulders and started talking. "Get off ur ass, stop pitying yourself and get something done." i looked at him in shock unable to say something.

I felt the tears coming up again. Dazai kept staring at me. he wiped them away.

"Staying home and pitying yourself won't help you, it will make everything worse. Go work or go on a date with Atsushi, go to a store, go to a dog park, i don't know but stop it." He looked at me calmly but there was another emotion hidden deep inside of him. I couldn't say anything, just staring at him. He slapped my cheek softly snapping me out of it and i started nodding and softly said a "yes Dazai."

He looked at me so serious, I've never seen Dazai like this. It's honestly scary to see him like this. "I'll come to work tomorrow i promise." He suddenly smiled. "Good u need to help me with paperwork!" he winked at me.

Ofcourse what else did i expect. Suddenly his face dropped again "Y/N.. Don't let whatever happend stop you or push anyone away. Everyone was worried sick about you, come to us when you need help don't just isolate yourself." i nodded and hugged him tightly.

I felt him tense but slowly hug me back. "Don't ever hesitate to ask for help or advice, just don't wallow in self pity that's just stupid." i nodded again and let him go, he walked to my fridge and took out a bottle of water.

"I'm going now, i better see you at work tomorrow" he was almost past the door when Atsushi came inside panicking. "Y/N i saw your door open are yo- Dazai?" Atsushi is here now too? Just my luck.. "Hello and goodbye Atsushi" with that Dazai left quickly and Atsushi turned to me with confusion.

I just lifted my shoulders i didn't want to expose Dazai or even explain it all. "What are you doing here Atsushi?" He looked at me nervously. "I came to check up on you.. You haven't answered any of my texts and haven't been at work so I've been worried." He cares?

I decided to stop it here i might make a second part though. I've been struggling a lot with life so do excuse the rare updates.

Also I'm working on some headcannons but for some reason i just can't think if anything I'm going to ask some friends to help me cus i really don't have any idea how to tackle that. Either way i hope you liked the fic!

Stay healthy and safe!

Drink enough water and eat too!

[itzmoonies]

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Making a BSD characters (without drawing bc I suck at it) based on real authors : Victor Hugo !

I NEED him in bsd. He fought for human rights, for the abolition of the death penalty, for poor people, for children who were forced to work young, for women and single moms (who were treated as h0es if their husband left them)… He stood up to the king and wasn't afraid to say it. He even asked for a painter to represent Napoleon (the king) as a fearful bird fleeing from Victor Hugo.

- Victor Hugo would join the ADA, and this is for sure. But first, he won't be a very nice person… Not necessarily in the port mafia, but probably in some things as bad. Because before being so kind and courageous, Victor Hugo was far-right, so he agreed with what Napoleon said. But he changed and he became a nicer person, and he helped many people.

- In the BSD universe, Victor changed after seeing someone dying in front of him. A little boy named Gavroche (Gavroche is a little boy in one of his books). Gavroche was singing the song "It's Voltaire's fault", before dying. It was something that changed the way Victor saw things, and he decided that no one deserved this. (This is not how the IRL Victor Hugo changed)

- He's someone very brave and courageous. He's not scared of dying or whatever.

- He will be in his twenties

- He will try to teach Kyoka and Atsushi things. Like maths, science ect. The IRL Victor Hugo wanted the education to be free, so it won't be surprising if he teaches kids that couldn't have access to school/education.

- He always hums the song Gavroche sang before he died.

- He will TOTALLY be against Mori, he will hate him for sure. He can't support these types of people.

- He will be serious and calm, but he will always have a gentle smile on his face.

- He will, randomly, buy things for the people in need (food, drink ect…)

- He will love creating little stories in his head, and he will share them with Ranpo and Yosano.

- His ability would be "Wretched" (One of his most famous books.) This will allow him to curse someone. (Because the people in this book have very very bad life. Jean Valjean, Fantine… They're not cursed, but it felt like they were.)

- He will get along with Kunikida and Fukuzawa

- Victor will remind Dazai of Oda

- He will totally be called bby by the fandom-

- His birthday is the 26th of February

-“Life is just one long loss of everything you love.”

- He will make a lot of effort to be forgiven about his past. He, himself, is ashamed of himself for what he has done.

- He's for human's right.

- He will drink coffee in the morning because he's not a morning person.

I'll think I'll do more later about other authors I want in BSD, because there are a lot of them that I want.

Anyways, bye bye

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[astolfofo]

okay hehe , here are my BSD ocs (i’ll make a more in-depth detailed version sometime later. I’m actually proud of these designs, but I’d give our beloved 1984 guy a different outfit. It’s the picrew’s fault not mine.)

also this was lowkey inspired by @dazaiyohane​ pls go check them out :D

Ability:

1984, by George Orwell. It’s an omnipresent ability connected to the book itself. It allows him to know everything about all abilities and their users, simutaioniously. It also is a mind manipulation ability, that allows the user to completely bend others to his will. Will do and believe anything he says, and if they are to resist (or to learn the true nature of his ability), they are subject to the mental torture, which in most cases, causes them to die. 

Personality/Beliefs: 

Despite what his ability is, he is strongly against manipulation and abuse of power. He’s actually brutally honest, and a realist that prefers to work alone. He’s just not willing to compromise against his own ways which makes him seem cold and arrogant a lot of the time. This leads him to fighting with a lot of people, which in his case, might be dangerous, so he does most work by himself. 

Occupations/Backstory/Affiliations:

He’s actually affiliated to nothing (Maybe the Japanese Government). He is someone who was born out of the book, and his only job is to keep the book, no matter the cost. He basically knows about every single secret in the book, but he has to keep them a secret, or else the book will be destoryed. Also, he knows about every “parallel” universe in the book, and can see what happens in them all. 

Okay this is my own oc, my “self-insert” oc, hehe. 

Ability:

Farenheight 451, Ray Bradbury. A desctructive ability, but can be also used as mental manipulation ability. It’s pretty similar to Chuuya’s ability, but instead of gravity manipulation, it’s sound manipulation. She can manipulate sound, and cut through anything, but for 1 minute she uses her ability, 1 minute gets taken off her life. Can be also used for mind manipulation by warping the perception of sound of another invidual. As such, she prefers not to use her ability, despite how powerful it is. Additionally, very few people know about her ability. She opts for a sniper/long range weapon instead.

Personality/Beliefs:

She basically believes in freedom as much as the next person. Is sometimes a nilhist, but in general, she doesn’t think about anything that much. Prefers to just do her job, go home and call it a day. She doesn’t really bond with people well, and tends to forget them really easily, unless she sees them as worth keeping in her mind. 

Occupations/Backstory/Affiliations:

Works in the government as a military engineer. Goes between Yokohama and Tokyo often. Mostly stays in Tokyo because Yokohama is basically 5 seconds from being torn down every other month, and it’s impossible to get work done that way. However, she is sent there usually when backup is needed. For example, during the Guild Arc, when Ango got into the car accident (she was livid at Dazai), she was sent for backup to completely cut down the Moby Dick and save Atsushi and Kyouka in case Dazai’s plan failed. 

In terms of her backstory, she is originally from the west. After accidentally killing one of her family members, she fled from the west and ended up in Tokyo. Eventually, she heard of Yokohama, and decided she would stay there. 

[marzowo]

One more post b4 i sleep

Warning that this au is 1:A beast Au x Original Au mix

So its gonna make like no fucking sense

2:Ive never read or watched Bsd or beast bsd

sorry,im hoping someone will help my au makes sense

3: There are probably so many timeline incorrect things with this au,Aka why i got frustrated and gave up :/

Anyway first is the hc that i have,its a small one

But i hc that atsushis hair was originally black,and it turned white during his days in the orphanage and thats how the orphanage knew he was a monster (they didnt know what he was,but child with 'magic' in a toxic church?) probably a demon

They didnt know he was the tiger until later on

The next hc is a huge one :D

and it has to do with religious trauma,Im not going into detail but basically Atsushi has some severe,like some severe religious trauma,not only was he physically abused, The Orphanage's religion was used as a vice of punishment not only for atsushi but all the Orphanage kids,his was just the most severe(like cult typa shit,maybe ot was actually a cult)

Now for the O!bsd x B!bsd au

,l like to imagine for my ver of the au That theres technically 2 headmasters of the orphanage, The original headmaster and his son, when atsushi was a child he was a teenager Atsushi kills the original headmaster and its the son that gets into a car accident later in the bsd series, or you could switch it to atsushi killing the son and after he dies the father repents bcs he knows it was technically his fault.

[This is when shots starts to go downhill and starts to mention timelines]

Atsushi's orphanage bg is exactly like beast au,up to when mori finds him {i think mori might have gone to retrieve him} (this is as someone who nevee read beast tho,so im not sure if shes there but) atsushi escapes the orphanage instead of being kicked out,he roams the streets for awhile mostly sticking to alleys and he eventually finds himself close to ig one of the many bases that the PM has (idk ive never read or watched bsd or beast bsd) and elise is out running an errand(or something IDK WHAT SHE DOES SMH), we all know ellise knows shit she shouldnt,and she recognizes atsushi (idfk maybe she doesnt recognise him,she just finds his hair pretty.) but she takes him to mori and mori takes care of him for some time bcs why not (idk why i made this but,im now realising it makes no sense...) but mori gives him the decision of the port mafia or the ada (this is after a large timeskip btw,atsushi works in rhe shadows and noone,not even dazai knows he works for the pm,everything is essentially like cannon) and he decides he wants to take a break from the mafia for abit {this sounds like a wattpad fanfic,kill me now

and goes to work for the ada,just not in the usual sense, since noone knows who he is and he still works for mori (Queue Cannon) Atsushi basically is a hella good actor. [fuck this idea,all my homies hate this idea. Atsushi is an actor yes but he actually quits the pm instead and goes i to his found family arc.] he decides to join back the pm after the ada goes down Idk but the (current?) arc with dazai and fyodor passes and the pm somehow ends up unscathed but relocated and dazai goes missing [Last i heard he disappeared down an elevator shaft or sumn]

Idfk where this au has gone anymore

Yea :)))

Heres one more HC/AU thingy based off somone elses AU that i saw

The persons Au! - The tiger has the ability to steal abilities when astushi eats the ability owner.

My Additon to the AU: Now i hc that as WR atsushi ate someone who had the ability to change size and appearance (maybe a notorious criminal who didnt pay off his mafia debts) so when life got too interesting or dangerous for him he'd change age and looks and just start all over again (and bcs of his tigers regeneration ability, just like with deadpool he's essentially immortal)

This is a rant,its going on tumblr

UGH

My brain is too full :/

i didnt mean to make it this long tbh

Anyway im hoping somone will like my HC's and AU's and appreciate me pls thank u

GN

[animecreator3000]

Not to sound annoying but this is why I liked Selfish Kiss immediately, the hierarchy there makes sense and I really need to reread it from the start because I’ve forgotten most of what happened until where I read. Jeez. We should get that animated instead of just a regular s2

Honestly all the HK boys feel plain because the hobbies they have listed are not really hobbies or they are never shown to actually perform them. Ata’s hobby is “staying at home” pleaseeeeeeee

I think the saddest thing about KyouRyou is that ep10 has a scene where they’re all talking about Ryouma caring for Kyou his entire life, and Kyou is about to say something that seems important, but turns out he just stayed back in the conversation and they completely waste the chance to… I don’t know, say something really surprising, not ruin the tension like that. Earlier Kyou also finally revealed that the reason why he likes to sleep is because he likes to dream, but can’t remember what he dreamed about, though he feels as if it’s something important. This sounds like an interesting plot point, but it was only used to compare him to an old man, so again, we’re wasting all the good ideas here, dammit!

OMG YES I keep saying it, the falling out wasn’t Kyou’s fault and actually Ryouma and him tried to talk to Ata about it and didn’t stop being friendly to him while they were separated! But Atsushi did go behind Kinshiro’s back and then neither of them confronted the other about it (it might’ve been Atsushi’s fault but I think Kinshiro could’ve also said something), yet Kyoutarou had to apologize to Ata for not noticing his feelings or something? The feelings that he repressed and refused to talk about for years? Okay then, I don’t understand anything anymore, this is just using the KinAtsu drama again instead of writing something a bit different

OOF the ep2 joke hurt, I think they were trying to imitate how in ep8 En saved Atsushi and immediately yelled at him “You need to eat more! You’re too light!”, the difference is that En was posessed by a monster to be mean like that and Kyoutarou wasn’t. It would’ve been so different if Kyou had showed appreciation for Ryouma through words at least, like saying “I’m so calm because Ryou-chin has always been there for me” or just thanking him for everything, it’s that simple, but instead they make Kyou look selfish and careless for most of the anime until ep11 when he suddenly decides to care for Ata? What. What the hell

Every time I rewatch some episode of Boueibu HK I wonder again how the staff even planned this season. Like. Almost nothing meaningful happens with the characters

TLDR the characters with the most developement in HK are the monsters

Kyoutarou is there as a complete contrast to Yumoto while keeping the battle speeches so his characterization doesn't make much sense. Nanao is mere fujoshi bait. Taiju and Taishi have random bits of dialogue that hint at possible arcs for s2 but not enough to tell us what it really is. Maasa has an unfinished arc in his episode, where supposedly he's putting fatty butter in his cookies to make everyone else overweight because he resents Ichiro not defending him when they were little, but then his friends tell him it's fine and then he can move on??? This would work with Ichiro's theme of not wanting to be immature or dense anymore, except they only ever used this theme as a gag (misunderstanding the meaning of whatever the others have said) or to straight up humilliate him (ep4) and continue treating him like a stupid baby. At the end of the season Maasa and him have made peace somehow and that's it. Ata gets in my opinion the closest thing to a complete arc, even if it's just staring angrily at Kyoutarou for ten episodes, then explaining his problem while fighting him and finally getting his apology and reconcilliation. At least it's something. And poor Ryouma is just there to be the butt of a few jokes about how he lets Nanao and Kyoutarou use him, be in a couple of cute shippy scenes, and also for Ata to completely dismiss him from the flashbacks to the point where if they had first met in high school nothing would've changed.

The relationships barely have developement either. Love had anime episodes and manga chapters dedicated to the different close friendships solving their conflicts and becoming closer. There were also many instances of seeing how close the Hakone brothers-defense club and Beppu brothers' relationships were, and even though they didn't have any conflict between themselves, they made them strong sides for the final fight. Yumoto didn't get a character arc but through the entire anime he was revealed to be strong, considerate, forgiving and mature, willing to kindly befriend the Beppu twins for his brother but not let them walk all over him; contrary to how he was presented in the first episodes, like a stereotypical magical girl protagonist. Anyway in HK there's no meaningful conflict between any of them besides Kyoutarou and Ata. Taishi and Ichiro argue constantly but don't show to genuinely like each other after all like IoRyuu or EnAtsu did. Ichiro and Maasa never make any progress to be together again, Maasa hints once at liking Taishi and nothing comes from it, and Nanao and Taiju have the most artificial friendship in the cast that I just do not understand. They just ran an ice cream shop once with again unexplained success and make sassy remarks at each other ever since. And I guess Karurusu and Furanui had a bit of developement thanks to Kyou and Ata in ep12. Idk about the aliens, this time it's like they didn't do it completely well but also not as bad as with the rest of the cast. Maybe bc they didn't appear as much as the humans in most of the episodes

I'm realizing now that a few of these complaints are related to Nanao acting weird

Idk where to put this but I'd like to point out Kinshiro's principles of halting the fight with the Battle Lovers as soon as he finds out that the s1 conflict was set up for a reality show and actively defending them from an attack because they're Binan students, despite still not having received his apology from Atsushi. Ata might've done the same if the HK finale's events had gone in the same order (travelling to Honyalaland to fight Wao, then Kyoutarou apologizing to Ata), but he doesn't feel as a character as deep as Kinshiro in that sense bc they didn't really show him to be in other ways.

Love feels more like an actual group of people while HK feels like they were filling in friendship group roles or something

[seneca-milestone17]

wheels go round and round Chapter 29 (Nakajima Atsushi)

Crossposted from AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26573278/chapters/98948322#workskin

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If Dazai were to be completely honest with himself, he’s been dreading this moment for a while.

It’s not exactly because of the fact that he has expectations placed on the boy, the little meeting with Ranpo had already dispelled that, but rather it’s because despite everything, Dazai can’t help but feel differently when it comes to Atsushi.

Not even a first sight and he already feels like he’s failed.

Which can’t exactly be helped. After all, Dazai has known for a long time where Atsushi was, the orphanage he’s in hasn’t exactly changed locations, but never did he make a move to extract the boy from there.

He has a good reason for this; claiming a child as young as Atsushi currently is – no less than two, perhaps three, years old – would have made working as a Detective difficult. The initial plan was to set up the Detective Agency, remove any and all possible threats in the meantime whilst searching for Dostoyevsky, secure Yokohama’s safety and then entrust the young Atsushi for Natsume to nurture and protect.

Of course, everything had gone off the rails the moment his suicide had been botched and he’d pretty much adopted a gaggle of children.

Which is why Dazai has decided to just…give up and take a step forward this once.

“I won’t be long,” he tells Fukuzawa on his way out. “But could you make some ochazuke in the meantime?”

The swordsman gives him a funny look at the request, after all the dish is practically a poor man’s meal and the Agency is anything but nowadays, but seeing something on Dazai’s face is apparently enough to make him back down.

“Natsume-sensei, I believe preparation for a new room is in order.”

Hearing those words as he leaves, the Detective stifles a chuckle at the ensuing chaos that follows behind his back.

.

.

.

The Headmaster looks lighter than he had been when he died.

Which would make sense, considering this is more than fifteen years in the past and Atsushi’s Ability had yet to cause any major trouble for the orphanage.

“Pardon the mess, we weren’t expecting any visitors to come,” the Headmaster says, all sheepish.

“I don’t mind. It’s also my fault for making a rather sudden visit,” Dazai brushes off the mildly stifling politeness with a smile of his own. “Rather, I’m the one who should be grateful for allowing me to take a look at the children.”

He hopes he comes across as kind, or even approachable; that there are no blades detected in his gaze, any malice slipping out of his pores.

Because right here, right now, Dazai is reminded that this man, this Headmaster, had done the same thing he had done to a different child in the past.

Train them to get used to the hurt.

Train them to get stronger.

“Have you decided on a particular child you might want?” the Headmaster’s query almost makes Dazai sneer on reflex.

“Why, of course!” He chirps with as much faux cheer as possible. “In fact, it is so specific that you won’t have any problem finding one for me.”

“…and what sort of specifications are you searching for?”

Tenseness. Ah, he thinks, so there is caution after all.

This time, Dazai lets some of the blades glint from the sharpness of his eyes.

“Gifted children.”

“—!”

Bandaged hands grab at the arm about to swing at him, practiced and sure. The Headmaster’s eyes are wide with alarm, breaths heavy and panicked. Which won’t do if they’re going to have this conversation.

“Please calm down, Headmaster,” Dazai’s whispers might as well have been louder than a gunshot. “I have no intention to harm.”

“Yeah right.” Any pretence of politeness has fallen apart in the face of that hissing countenance with the promise of retribution. “You come in here, asking for Gifted children, and you think I wouldn’t see you as suspicious?”

Looking at the flashing eyes of the Headmaster, Dazai has to pause in order to recall his actions up until now, and feels a mixture of sheepishness and embarrassment well up.

…Ah.

Perhaps he is at fault here.

It’s not as if it can be helped though! All of the children under Dazai’s care either dropped unannounced or he had picked up from worse conditions. In hindsight, this may actually be the first time he’s had to go through proper procedures for adoption.

And because he is a man aware of his mistakes, Dazai has the sudden need to make amends and clear the misunderstanding.

“Let’s try this again, shall we?” He lets go of the Headmaster’s arm and takes several steps back, sweeping into an elegant bow worthy of a former Executive. “My name is Dazai Osamu, President of the Shayou Detective Agency. I believe a round of explanations are in order, yes?”

The sharp glare given in response would have killed him a hundred times over.

.

.

.

It takes a trip to the Headmaster’s office, two cups of tea and several rounds intense glaring sessions courtesy of the Headmaster before Dazai is able to clear the misunderstanding between them.

Dazai already considers it a great win that he was even able to get to this point. Were he in the other’s position, he would have already placed a bullet hole between the visitor’s eyes and gotten rid of the witnesses. The fact that he even managed to placate some of the Headmaster’s doubts is outstanding on its own.

“—I understand what you are asking, but I still cannot trust you.”

As expected. “I’m not here to ask for your blessing, however that may be welcome,” the Detective coolly retorts. “All I ask is that I be allowed to take in the child named Nakajima Atsushi to take under the protection of the Shayou Detective Agency.”

“And how will I know if his Ability won’t harm others?”

Again, an expected worry. “One of the children under our care has an Ability that allows her to heal others. Most of the children under the Shayou Detective Agency’s protection are being taught how to control their Abilities as well as how to protect themselves outside of the premises.”

It had been one of the things Dazai and Suzu had discussed at length with the others. The incident with Odasaku, Katai and Kunikida had taught them to be wary of even the slightest changes in society’s perception regarding the Gifted, and if they truly wish to have the children integrate into the world as functional citizens, control of their Abilities is paramount.

“All of the adults are experts and professionals in their respective fields,” Dazai continues smoothly. “Most of us are Gifted, allowing us to be able to provide advice for the younger ones. Of course, I am no exception.”

Here, the Headmaster raises an eyebrow in askance to which he gives a thin smile.

“My Ability is called No Longer Human. Its function is to be able to negate Abilities through direct contact.” Dazai lifts a hand and flexes his fingers for show.

Nothing comes out.

“My Ability, combined with the expertise of everyone in the Shayou Detective Agency, makes it a haven for Gifted children who may otherwise have trouble adapting under normal circumstances.” The two men exchange glances with the implication as to who the Detective might be referring to. “Please believe me when I say that we are the safest place for that child right now.”

Because whether the Headmaster may admit it or not, the orphanage is not a suitable place for Atsushi. While everyone is still fine and safe from the tiger, there is no guarantee that it will forever continue to be so – not when the Atsushi from Before had been kicked out the moment he hit adulthood with nothing but the clothes on his back.

Dazai and his Agency are more equipped to handle Atsushi and his tiger. He knows this and so does the Headmaster.

A fact that apparently makes itself known the moment the man heaves a sigh, one heavy and full of so much grief, it’s quite troubling.

“I’ll prepare the paperwork.”

“Much appreciated.”

The smile Dazai gives the Headmaster is bright.

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Light, is the first word that comes to mind the moment Dazai is handed the young Nakajima Atsushi.

Official documents state the child had already turned four years old but seeing him in person makes Dazai want to doubt the data presented. Little Atsushi looks more like a toddler, roughly the same as Gin, rather than a boy about to turn five in the next year. He’s not even that heavy, reminding Dazai of Chuuya the first time he carried the boy to the Agency after that horrendous earthquake courtesy of Arahabaki.

If Dazai hadn’t been aware of the time frame as well as Atsushi’s actual age from Before the Reset, he would have called the Headmaster out on the falsity of official documents (not that he was one to talk!). As it stands, however, Dazai does know the truth and this means that every little piece of evidence presented to him paints a rather conflicting story.

“Nice to meet you, Nakajima Atsushi-kun,” he tells to the wide sunset eyes peering from his arms. “My name is Dazai. Dazai Osamu. From now on, I will be your guardian.”

The little boy in his arms shifts slightly, looking impossibly small in those oversized clothes and lithe frame. The Headmaster must have dressed him in those clothes for whenever the tiger decided to come out, Dazai muses as he watches the child scrunch his eyebrows.

“You must be confused about a lot of things,” he continues all the while never removing his gaze from Atsushi. “But don’t worry. I, as well as others, will help you through it.”

“…?”

Atsushi tilts his head to the side in a wordless askance, and Dazai curses himself for forgetting to ask the Headmaster about the boy’s literacy and education.

Then again. Considering the young man Dazai had taken on Before had known how to read and write as well as do basic maths, at the very least he had been given the necessary skills to survive back then.

Oh well. Dazai would just have to give him more than just the basic necessities, won’t he?

Lips curled up in a smile, a bandaged hand rises to ruffle those silver locks gently.

“It’s all right. We have all the time we need.”

(This, he swears to be true.)

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[caffeinatedseri]

Dead Apple Light Novel

Recently, I decided to buy LN 5, Dead Apple, purely because I’m a sucker for all of BSD’s light novels, so this post will revolve around what I took away from this novel. 

Dead Apple is Canon

Since the story jumps around in the timeline a lot, I had originally thought that Dead Apple took place outside of canon (especially with Atsushi’s flashback). 

However, a particular part of Asagiri’s afterword stuck out to me:

Now, allow me a moment to discuss some of the particulars of Dead Apple. Chronologically, the story takes place after the second season of the anime — in other words, after the war with the Guild, which puts Dead Apple somewhere between the ninth and tenth volumes of the manga. 

The novel also ended up affecting the main story in numerous ways, and I’m sure this new experience will continue to influence my future work as well.

It’s not unusual for a light novel to insert itself into the main timeline (see 55 Minutes which takes place in the 10th volume), but it’s nice to have confirmation that the same applies to Dead Apple. 

Of course, just because a work isn’t canon compliant (see BEAST), doesn’t mean that it has no potential for further analysis or it doesn’t bring any added complexity to the main plot. Regardless, this post serves as somewhat of a precursor to my other posts concerning Dead Apple since I have a tendency to talk about it a lot, and I’d like to establish a basis for a lot of my posts. 

Differences between the Movie and Light Novel

In the afterword of the light novel, Hiro Iwahata (the author of this LN) said:

“Furthermore, I worked on this book under Asagiri’s supervision, meaning there are several lines in certain scenes that differ from the movie. It might even be fun comparing the two!  Nothing would make me happier than the fans enjoying this novel alongside the movie.”

As per Iwahata’s request, I went into the light novel, looking for differences between it and the movie. However, the novel is surprisingly, almost identical to the movie (maybe not surprising considering it is a “movie novelization”).

Because the differences are so miniscule, I believe they hold an even greater significance, since Asagiri must have wanted to change these specific details for a certain reason. 

Some of the differences I talk about might be unimportant, but I did my best to catch everything that was changed from the movie.

1. The movie doesn’t mention SKK as a part of the Dragon’s Head Conflict, but the novel says, “Some fought under the alias Twin Dark.” 

This probably means that SKK became a pair either before the Dragon’s Head Conflict or during (although I’m pretty sure that the “organization” they destroyed over night was Shibusawa’s organization).

2. When Dazai says that he would’ve continued killing people in the mafia if it weren’t for Oda, Atsushi has little to no reaction in the movie; I would describe it as maybe a hesitant or concerned feeling.

In the novel, Atsushi has a more outward reaction.

““Huh...?!” Atsushi was baffled. He had no idea whether that was true. What did Dazai mean by that? (...) The melancholy Atsushi felt from Dazai had disappeared, and Dazai continued to speak in his usual lighthearted manner.”

Not only does he react verbally, but the novel also adds an inner monologue (mainly for Atsushi) that can’t be portrayed as well in movie format. 

To me, this change highlights how Atsushi sees Dazai purely as a good person; he reacts in such a startled manner because he believes that Dazai is too good of a person to be in the mafia killing people (which we know Atsushi hates). This trend reoccurs throughout the story, of Atsushi turning a blind eye to Dazai’s “bad side.”

3. This one isn’t at all the movie’s fault, but the novel gives a lot more clues as to what the “dead apple” and the dagger in the apple motif represents.

The first time it appears is when Kunikida and Tanizaki meet the Special Division’s agent, but they find out that he’s already dead.

“It [the apple] was, without a doubt, a simple fruit... save for the fact that there was a knife sticking out of it as if to condemn the taste of sin. A blade had been driven into the symbol of original sin. A dreary, ominous aura, oozed from the ripe fruit like venom. 

Throughout the novel, it seems to associate the “dead apple” motif with Fyodor pretty strongly, especially since this paragraph ties in Fyodor’s ideals nicely with the symbolism of the apple and dagger.

The apple represents sin, the very first sin — which you could interpret as sin at its purest — while the dagger represents the condemning of such sin. However, the apple can also potentially symbolize life, while the dagger stabbing into life can mean death. 

Fyodor’s ideals revolve around “removing the sin” of ability users (represented by an apple in this case) but he does so through manipulation. The dagger is associated with stealth and deception, which is fitting with what Fyodor does to “remove the sin” of ability users.

However, he’s also taking the lives of ability users in this process, hence stabbing the apple, coincidentally committing another sin in his attempt to relinquish all sin.

4. In the “Snow White” Oda and Dazai flashback, everything is identical to the movie (word for word), but there is some additional narration.

“It was an alarming sight — Dazai sounded like he was in a trance. It was as if he was ignoring all this world had to offer while in pursuit of something else.”

I’ve talked about this particular scene before here, but the gist is that Dazai was discreetly talking about himself while referring to Snow White. 

Dazai joined the mafia because he believed that the violence (or true human nature) would give him a reason to live, but we already know that this kind of thinking was flawed.  Thus, this line most likely means that Dazai was ignoring all of the “good” qualities of the world while pursuing a reason to live, which inevitably wouldn’t work. 

5. Right after the flashback, when Dazai takes the pill, the novel really sells the act of “Dazai walking towards his death and going to the evil side.” 

Personally, this scene in the movie felt more open to interpretation after you’ve seen the ending. You could say that Dazai took the antidote and said “Being on the side that saves people is more beautiful,” because his plan is to continue living to save more people. 

However, the novel throws away any possible double meaning with this paragraph:

“Dazai then reached for the pill with his bandaged hand, neatly picked it up, and slowly brought it to his lips — just like Snow White and the sweet, poisoned apple. The venomous red-and-pure-white-pill disappeared inside his mouth.”

After Dazai’s tangent on how Snow White could’ve committed suicide out of despair, the narration compares him directly to Snow White. With the added��venomous pill stated outright, it only further cements the idea that Dazai’s actually committing suicide here.

I don’t particularly like this change, because it feels like this moment was set up entirely just to divert the audience’s expectations, rather than it be a standalone scene that makes sense when considering the rest of the story. (It might not necessarily be a change, possibly just a rough translation from movie to novel). 

6. When Atsushi wakes up from his nightmare, there’s some additional inner monologue:

Everything’s okay. I’m not the same person I was when I lived at the orphanage. I have friends. I have a place where I belong — the Armed Detective Agency. Things are different now.

The anime (and in turn the movie) tends to downplay the effects of Atsushi’s trauma — probably due to the limitations of anime — but regardless the novel portrays it much better with how Atsushi’s trauma affects practically every aspect of his life. 

7. I thought Fukuzawa’s ability only gave his subordinates control over their abilities, but the novel says:

“Yukichi Fukuzawa and his skill, All Men are Equal, a peculiar ability that allowed him to suppress and control his subordinates’ skills.”

Does this mean that Fukuzawa could control and suppress all of the agency’s abilities? It could be a weird translation, but it seems oddly specific.

8. This detail isn’t actually a novel exclusive, but it is an extremely small detail that I missed while watching the movie, so I figured I would add it here too.

“the phantom’s notebook had the word Compromise written on the cover. A copy of himself that didn’t follow ideals but made compromises was an abomination to Kunikida.”

Considering how abilities act as the shadow to every character in this story, this is a nice detail that shows how Kunikida’s inner desire is to compromise, because carrying such heavy ideals is undoubtedly a burden. However, because he holds onto his ideals so strongly, it becomes his biggest weakness AND his biggest strength.

9. There’s a super small detail added to this scene with Dazai, Fyodor, and Shibusawa. When Dazai suggests that Shibusawa could be saved by an angel or a demon, the following exchange occurs:

“Hmm... Maybe an angel?” Dazai picked up the skull on the table. “Or maybe a demon?” “It’s obvious what both of your true intentions are, if you ask me.” The third man mirthfully cackled and took the skull from Dazai’s hand.

In the movie, Dazai doesn’t pick up anything, so as a result Fyodor doesn’t take anything from Dazai either. 

Because Fyodor walked into the scene after Dazai suggested that an angel or demon would save Shibusawa, I strongly suspect that this was foreshadowing future events in which Fyodor does “save” Shibusawa by giving him his memories back.

The novel adds more to this foreshadowing by having Dazai pick up the skull before it’s taken by Fyodor — essentially having Fyodor take the cards out of Dazai’s hands and put them in his favor. 

It’s also worth pointing out that the skull is also the object that Fyodor uses to revive Shibusawa into a supernatural ghost of some sorts at the end of the story.

10. This may be just a difference in translations but in the movie, Shibusawa refers to Fyodor as “Demon Fyodor-kun”, whereas in the novel Fyodor is called “Fyodor the Conjurer.” (Ango uses the Conjurer title as well).

In western esotericism, a conjurer is a person who summons supernatural beings, like spirits, demons, or God.

This slightly changes the connotation of Fyodor’s title from a inhuman being of pure malicious intent to just a human who summons these otherworldly beings. This idea also aligns with Shibusawa’s revival, since he’s some sort of supernatural ghost that was “summoned” by Fyodor. 

11. Skipping past the parts where Kyouka and Akutagawa regain their abilities, and Chuuya talks to Ango in the government facility, (since they have little to no changes between the movie and the novel) there is a somewhat significant detail changed in Draconia once again with Dazai and Fyodor.

In the novel, this glowing ball of energy from the movie is actually described as an apple: 

The two lights melted into one and spun until they formed a juicy sphere. They had produced a single apple — a juicy, poisoned apple red as blood.

It birthed a skill — and an extremely powerful one at that — the ability to absorb. Every last crystal adorning Draconia’s walls was sucked into the apple with intense force. Ten — a hundred — a thousand — two thousand — every last one was greedily devoured by the apple...

The apple swelled as it absorbed the numerous crystals until the red light became hotter than the surface of hell.

Since the “dead apple” motif aligns with Fyodor’s character, we can assume that the apple is representative of sin, and sin is associated with abilities, as Fyodor believes.

This strange poisoned apple is made of abilities and has an ability (the ability to absorb), and it commits a sin (greed) in its devouring of other abilities; it’s also hotter than “hell”, which is a very specific connection that leads me to this idea:

My theory is that a normal apple represents life, while a poisoned apple (or dead apple), indicative of a stained, impure life, represents sin. Fyodor believes abilities are akin to sin (what a clever rhyme), therefore all of their lives are sinful.

12. This is arguably the most insignificant change of this entire post, but I feel obligated to put it here regardless since it was different from the movie. When the Special Division detects the singularity of Shibusawa’s dragon form in the novel, it says:

“Abnormal values for singularity are increasing! They’re twice — no, 2.5 times higher than they were six years ago.”

In the movie, the number is five times higher instead.

Why did this number change? Is it significant? I honestly have no idea (I’m surprised I even caught this), but it’s there and I had to document it anyways. 

13. The novel adds this narration for Shibusawa when he gets his memories back and he’s in the orphanage’s room with Atsushi:

“Shibusawa clearly recalled the events from six years ago. Fyodor had enticed him to go to the orphanage where he tortured a young Atsushi... until Atsushi fought back and killed him.”

There’s two things to take away from this: Fyodor had known Shibusawa for at least six years, and Fyodor had been planning the events of Dead Apple since at least six years ago. 

I find it hard to believe that Fyodor’s plan was thwarted by Dazai, because of how Fyodor demonstrated his ability to plan ahead in the main series, but I’m not sure what the long term effects of this plan could be. If Shibusawa succeeded, then it could’ve aligned with the DOA’s goals, but once again I don’t think Fyodor’s plan was actually foiled.

14. Super minor once again, but right after Shibusawa gets revived, the last sentence of chapter 5 is,

“Nobody would ever see the smile on Fyodor’s face.” 

Honestly, I think this was just added to create an ominous tone, but it’s a nice detail regardless.

15. As the red fog spreads across Yokohama, there’s a good part of exposition that connects the “dead apple” motif to Fyodor once again:

“After the red fog devoured the earth, the planet would undoubtedly look like a floating red apple from space. There would be no humans left on its surface, nor any signs they ever existed. It would be a true paradise, and with that, the Dead Apple would finally be complete. A dead planet covered in red fog — that was what Fyodor had planned and sought out.

Nothing other than death could wash away the original sin of man, so it was only fitting for the sin, which started with a fruit, to end with one as well. 

It’s pretty long, but I like the way this passage is written, more specifically the last part since it fits well with the sinful poisoned apple idea.

It also aligns with Fyodor’s ideals of creating a true paradise, free of ability users. However, if Fyodor had planned to have the Earth covered in fog, that could mean that his plan was actually stopped by Dazai and Atsushi in the end.

16. Shibusawa has a few additional lines of dialogue when he talks to Atsushi in their final fight.

“The dragon and tiger... I see now why they are called rivals.”

The dragon and tiger have their roots in Chinese Buddhism, but to go further into that topic would make this already lengthy post even longer.

“Don’t get the wrong idea, though. I’m not blaming you for what happened.”

This line is a brief moment of weakness for Shibusawa, which is interesting in contrast to his strong will to kill Atsushi. Just as Atsushi learned to accept the past and the tiger’s ferocity, Shibusawa shares the same attitude by separating the blame from himself to just simply accepting the past for what happened.

17. In the aftermath of the last fight against Shibusawa, Atsushi and Kyouka meet up with Dazai.

Kyouka asks, “Are you sure this is what you wanted?” which prompts two different responses in the movie and novel respectively.

In the movie, Atsushi says, “Just as Shibusawa was able to forget that he’d been killed before, I think Dazai can put his past behind him again. But this is fine.”

In the novel, Atsushi says:

“... I could probably seal away this memory just like how I’d forgotten I’d killed him before. But... I’m okay with this.”

I interpreted Kyouka’s question in the movie to be questioning Dazai’s loyalties, as he did betray everyone, and Atsushi responded in Dazai’s defense because he trusts him.

However, the novel does change Atsushi’s response to focus on himself rather than Dazai, which in turn changes the implications of Kyouka’s question. 

Kyouka seems to be asking Atsushi whether he was okay with killing Shibusawa, and Atsushi responds by acknowledging that he did kill Shibusawa, and that’s okay. (a very clear development from the beginning of the story when he believed it was unnecessary to kill anyone, and he didn’t want to kill anyone)

18. In the epilogue, Ango talks about the underlying motivations behind the “Dead Apple” case. This change could be attributed to translation differences (like many others in this post), but the connotation does slightly differ from movie to novel. 

In the movie, Ango says, “How is a man like Shibusawa, so intelligent that others look like alien creatures to him, to act, to be destroyed, or to be saved?”

In the novel, Ango says:

“Perhaps the two of them [Dazai and Fyodor] just wanted to get a glimpse of someone like them... Perhaps they wanted to see what he would do and how he would meet his demise... or perhaps how he would be saved.”

The movie simply poses a broad question of what would happen to Shibusawa, a person alienated from the rest of society. 

The novel changes this to focus on Dazai and Fyodor’s perspective — two irredeemable aliens from society just like Shibusawa — executing this grand scheme out of curiosity to see what would happen to someone of the likes of them, and if there’s a possibility for redemption.

19. This is the final difference on this list, and it’s quite a large change. In Fyodor’s monologue at the very end of the story, he has a completely different tone from the movie to novel.

In the movie, Fyodor says, “But in order to end this world, rife with crime and punishment, I do need that book.”

The novel says: 

Glittering high-rises and stately brick buildings stood side by side in this port city with its countless citizens who struggled against crime and punishment. “I think I’ve taken a liking to this city myself..”  Fyodor took a bite of the apple in his hand, and the juicy nectar ran down his delicate fingers. “You’d all better be on your best behavior until next time.”

The reference to the book may have been removed for consistency with the main series, as the book is a part of the DOA’s plan (or more specifically Fukuchi). 

It also seems like Fyodor has grown fond of the city, and no longer wants Yokohama to be destroyed, so it’s still possible that his plan deterred from what he had originally intended.

Beyond that, I’m not entirely sure why crime and punishment was mentioned, or why there’s such an ominous tone to his ending statement, but that’s up to personal interpretation. 

That concludes the long list of extremely specific and minor differences between the Dead Apple movie and light novel! 

Overall, I would say it’s worth checking out the light novel if you don’t have a strong grasp of the Dead Apple story, because it definitely presents the small intricacies of the plot in a more comprehensible way. 

On a side note, the manga adaptation has a lot of noticeable differences from the movie and light novel, mostly with the addition of entirely new scenes (which you can read @buraihatranslations​ — what a shameless self plug). I would highly recommend reading it as those extra scenes are very amusing, to say the least without giving any spoilers.

Honestly, this post was a lot longer than I intended, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless. Thank you for reading!

[n1kolaiz]

"You want to know what death is? I'll tell you. Death is the loss of life. Despite everything doctors like me attempt... a patient's life can still fall through our fingers. You think death lies in the apex of science? Anyone with such little regard for life will die by my hand."

Character Analysis: Yosano Akiko

Age: 25 || Ability: Thou Shalt Not Die

BSD CHAPTER CHAPTER 65-66 SPOILERS

table of contents:

1. Author counterpart.

2. Yosano's history.

3. 'Angel of Death' defined.

4. Yosano and Atsushi.

YOSANO BRAINROT!*(#&!*@#($

1. Author counterpart.

Having been given the “Sho Ho” at birth, Yosano Akiko’s counterpart—the real-life author—was known for her zealous take on both feminism and pacifism.

Side note: Once again, to avoid confusion, I will use the name Sho Ho in reference to the real-life author, and Yosano in reference to the BSD character.

Sho Ho's writings were pretty much out-of-the-ordinary in her time, and despite being suppressed by the social norms of gender hierarchy, she sought to reform society’s view on the cultural perspectives of women and their sexuality (She expressed her love for a woman in one of her poems, but many still argued on whether she identified herself as queer or not.)

"Thou Shalt Not Die," Yosano's ability, is actually named after one of Sho Ho's most famous, controversial poems. She wrote it for her brother, who was a soldier in the war between Russia and Japan (1904-1905). In her poem, she expressed her general distaste for war and how her brother was a part of it.

O my young brother, I cry for you Don't you understand you must not die! You who were born the last of all Command a special store of parents' love

Would parents place a blade in children's hands

Teaching them to murder other men Teaching them to kill and then to die? Have you so learned and grown to twenty-four?

- excerpt from Sho Ho's poem, "Kimi Shinitamou Koto Nakare"

Her words were blunt enough to inflict guilt on her brother's conscience, as she wasn't afraid to express her disapproval over how her brother took part in the typical violent bloodshed and manslaughter of war. Such opinions perturbed the authorities, and her work was eventually banned from the public for a period of time. Later on, it was used as an anti-war statement.

2. Yosano's history.

Now, as for the character in BSD, Yosano is seen to be generally strong-willed, and later on, we see that she is terrifyingly compassionately ambitious in the way she treats her patients. She treasured life itself, and hated the thought of losing a patient.

Yosano had developed her relations with Mori Ougai back in the Great War, when she was just 11 years old. Her ability was a great benefactor in saving lives. Realistically speaking, she was used for her ability to heal injured soldiers and diminish the effect of any casualty acquired.

Initially, she wasn't aware of this, until one of her close friends pointed it out by subtly accusing Mori of manipulating her to participate in the War under the close-to false pretence of 'saving lives.'

As much as her ability did save lives, it also forced soldiers to return to the frontlines and suffer injuries over and over again. The soldiers were never given the opportunity to return to their families because of her ability. This obliged them to carry on in the war without any excuse, inserting them into a vicious cycle they had no escape out of.

Metaphorically speaking, Yosano's hatred for Mori sort of mirrors Sho Ho's disdain for war and fighting, don't you think? The way Kafka materialised Yosano's past was quite interesting because he used chapters 65 and 66 to explain Yosano's dislike for Mori, reflecting how Sho Ho used her poem to explain why she condemned the idea of war and how her brother was part of it.

Before the effect of her ability was fully understood, however, every soldier praised and thanked her for what an angel she was. One of the soldiers she had befriended and gotten close to even kept a tally of the number of times she had saved him. He was the one who gifted her the butterfly hairpin she wore all the time.

The weight of the truth that her ability was a curse rather than a blessing fully dawned on her when her soldier friend ultimately committed suicide, because the fact of being indefinitely trapped in the throes of war agonised him until his spirit gave out. This drove Yosano to loathe her ability, or rather, how it was used.

In the time she participated in the War, Yosano was given the alias 'angel of death' due to the control she retained over the battlefield, but I thought that perhaps Kafka had a reason behind giving her this title, so I did my research.

3. 'Angel of Death' defined.

Side note: I wouldn't want to disrespect any culture or religion, so if my citations are inaccurate and/or disrespectful, do feel free to correct me/let me know! I did research out of pure curiosity, and I don't intend to twist the significance of any of the interpretations.

I had to grow up learning about the basics of religious stuff, so it's kind of nice to study something out of the box, and very much against my father's rigid belief system :D

ARCHANGEL ARIEL

(archangel: an angel of higher rank)

I came across the few characteristics of angels/goddesses and their roles, and the one which really caught my attention was the female archangel, Ariel, the angel of nature.

[ source ]

In Hebrew, the name Ariel means 'altar' or 'lioness of God,' and her role is to heal. In addition to that, she is also recognised as a helper to another one of the seven main archangels, Raphael, whose role is to provide physical and emotional healing, too.

She is the protecter of the environment and the animals therein, and is bestowed with the duty to oversee the order of heavenly bodies as well as earth's natural resources. She assures the sustenance of food, water, shelter, and supplies of human beings, much like how a nurse is to a patient I suppose.

In relation to Yosano, I think this part is pretty self-explanatory, or perhaps this is blown out of proportion HA, so take this as a suggestion rather than a fact, because I'd like to believe that Kafka had a reason for giving Yosano a title as such.

In the past, I've come across the angel of death only to perceive it as a female grim reaper of some sort, so it was pretty cool to find that the word 'angel' and 'death' made up a title of a someone like Ariel, one of the purest forms of humility and compassion.

GREEK GODDESS PANAKEIA

For my beloved (wannabe/or not) students of Greek mythology (much like myself, let's make a cult!), you've probably heard of Panakeia, the goddess of healing. Medicine finds most of its vital significance in Greek history, and in its mythology, Panakeia is actually known for her ability to heal any kind of sickness.

[ source ]

Her name means 'panacea,' which is actually defined as a remedy for all diseases. Terminal diseases and injuries lead to death, right? This would bring us back to Yosano's ability to nullify any injury's effects on a person, keeping them from death itself.

Now, we know that in order for Yosano's ability to work, her patient, or victim, has to be in a near-death condition in order for her treatment to take effect. This can't exactly fit into the description of resurrection, but it can be described as some sort of rebirth.

GREEK GODDESS PERSEPHONE

So another goddess which reminds me of Sho Ho/Yosano, is Persephone, the goddess of spring and rebirth. Before Hades, the god of the underworld, fell in love with Persephone to take her to live with him, Persephone lived a happy life.

Hades, with his nature of darkness and the like, was captivated by how pure Persephone was, and stole her away from her former life to live in an environment which differed sharply from her natural aura of purity.

[ source ]

Remember when Yosano's friend left a note behind before he killed himself? The note said nothing except for, "You are too righteous." Take that as you will, but figuratively speaking, you could say Mori takes the role of Hades in the story, while Yosano can be portrayed as Persephone.

Sho Ho can also be a parallel of Persephone, in that she had to adapt to the realities of war and disharmony, while Persephone had to adapt to the raw darkness of the underworld with Hades.

Sho Ho stood against society's norms and decided to reform it, making her one of the most well-known feministic pacifist in history, while Persephone managed to escape from the underworld to return to her former position, earning the title the 'Bringer of Life,' or the 'Destroyer of Death.'

Furthermore, the way Sho Ho's anti-war poem took its effect later on, reflects the way Persephone restored balance in the world after returning from the underworld.

4. Yosano and Atsushi.

chapter 66; Yosano: "It's my fault that those close to me died... Is there some place where it's okay for me to live?"

chapter 8; Atsushi: "If I have any chance of saving them all, of returning them home safely, would that mean it's okay for me to keep on living?"

I couldn't help but think of Dazai and Atsushi back when I was reading through these panels. Ranpo (my beloved), along with Fukuzawa, accepted Yosano as she was, despite how her ability was a cause of despair and misfortune.

Ranpo looked past her mistakes and the entirety of how dark her past was to welcome her into the Armed Detective Agency. Dazai, on the other hand, knew who Atsushi was and what his ability had made him do before anyone else, and still decided to provide a safe place for Atsushi to find his sense of belonging, journeying with him as he learned to use his ability properly.

For more info about Dazai and Atsushi's dynamic, you can check out the analysis I did for Dazai :D

Atsushi desired to save people to prove his right to live, while Yosano made her wish to achieve the recovery of all her patients the reason for her existence.

Others would prefer to accuse both Yosano and Atsushi of having a saviour complex, but the reason why they pursued to save people with utmost dedication, stems from the nature of what their past was like. You know the saying 'from broken to beautiful?' Yeah, it's something like that.

The way their pasts were written out gave them a desire to change, which was, I daresay, initiated by the people who took them in: Ranpo and Dazai. Their abilities were demonised because of how they were used, but once they broke from their abilities' effect over their lives, they honed their skills to control them for the right cause instead.

In a less cynical point of view, I believe both Yosano and Atsushi stood for what was right, and wanted nothing but to achieve peace and harmony in whatever way they could, even if it meant risking their own lives to save others.

So yeah, that's it for my rants today. Thank you for reading, and if you have anything to add, go ahead! I'm open to discussions ;)

[tickly-trashcan]

Nap Time {Shin Soukoku}

A/N: Ahh hi nonnie! thank you so so much for the request! :D I always love writing for these two, even though this one didn’t really have a ton of plot and they feel a bit ooc,,, i still hope you enjoy though! and have a lovely day~

Summary: Akutagawa is taking a nap, but when he wakes up, Atsushi discovers a little something about him.

Word Count: 1.1k (under the cut)

Atsushi stretched, sighing. 

He was bored. Very, very bored.

He looked over at Akutagawa, who was napping on the couch as Atsushi worked on some extra paperwork that had been handed off to him over the weekend. Or rather, not handed off, but Atsushi was too nice to say that he didn’t want to do it.

He finished a few more of the papers, trying to power through before groaning. He was developing a small migraine from working on paper with such small writing, and it was making his hand sore having to write everything down.

He looked once more to Akutagawa, who shifted in his sleep, his back now facing Atsushi. Atsushi smiled, deciding to take a break as he walked over to Akutagawa, leaning down to kiss his temple.

Akutagawa’s eyes peeked open and Atsushi quickly gaped.

“Ah, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you up-”

“It’s fine. I’m rested enough,” Akutagawa said, coughing lightly into his hand. He sat up, reaching for Atsushi’s hands, guiding them to his cheeks. Atsushi flushed slightly, but gently rubbed his thumb against Akutagawa’s cheek.

He could tell he was still tired, that was when he was most vulnerable and most affectionate. He didn’t manage to get much sleep because of his job, and so Atsushi tried to let him sleep whenever he could.

“Do you wanna keep napping?”

“Mm… no, I want to be with you right now.”

Atsushi huffed fondly, lightly drumming his fingers on Akutagawa’s jaw playfully. He wasn’t expecting for him to scrunch up his shoulders and smile very faintly, trying to push away Atsushi’s hand. Atsushi blinked.

“Are you alright, Ryuu?”

“I’m fine, it just tickled…”

Atsushi paused for a moment. Then his eyes widened. “Wait, you’re ticklish?!”

Akutagawa looked at him, looking slightly embarrassed and mildly annoyed. “Yes, is that such a big deal?”

“How come I never knew?” Atsushi whined, and Akutagawa only shrugged. Atsushi pouted, and Akutagawa went to stand up, mumbling about how he wanted some fruit.

“I suggest you run,” Atsushi said, his tone slightly teasy as Akutagawa looked at him with confusion.

“What?”

“You better run, because I’m gonna tickle you!”

Akutagawa groaned, rolling his eyes. “No you’re not.”

Atsushi huffed, grabbing Akutagwa’s wrist. Akutagawa yawned, clearly still tired, and Atsushi almost felt bad doing this, but he wanted to try this.

He pulled Akutagawa onto the couch, making him huff annoyedly as he looked up at Atsushi.

“I’m not in the mood for this, Atsushi.”

“Too bad! You kept this from me long enough!” Atsushi said, and Akutagawa went to shove him off, but Atsushi’s hands were already on his sides, squeezing as Akutagawa yelped.

“AHatsushi! No!” He gasped, chuckling softly as Atsushi kneaded his sides slowly, grinning.

“Heh, looks like you’re pretty ticklish! I didn’t keep that from you when we first started dating, so why am I just finding out about this now, hmm?”

Atsushi went down to Akutagawa’s hips, digging his thumb into his hipbone as he squeaked, shaking his head as his face turned a light shade of pink.

“It didn’t cohohome up! It’s nohohot my fahahault!” Akutagawa wailed, grabbing onto Atsushi’s wrists, trying to pry off his hands as he continued to tickle his hips.

“Not your fault? Hmm, I suppose you’re right, but I’m still gonna show you what happens when you keep things from me!”

“I didn’t mehehehean to! WAHa-Wait!” Akutagawa yelped when Atsushi climbed back up to his sides, going just a bit past to his ribs, prodding at them as he cooed.

“Wait? Like how you waited oh-so long to tell me?”

“I ahahahalready told you! I-I didn’t mehehehean to!”

Atsushi hummed, continuing to tease Akutagawa’s ribs lightly, making him shriek when he got to his upper ribs. Atsushi raised an eyebrow and grinned.

“Hey, Ryuu, we wouldn’t happen to be getting close to your special spot, would we?”

“Thehehere’s no ‘we’! Yohohou’re the one tickling mehe!”

Atsushi chuckled, continuing his climb up Akutagawa’s ribs, his laughter getting more frantic the closer he got to his underarms, his arms clamping tighter the higher he got. Atsushi smirked.

“Ryuu, my hands are gonna get stuck if you keep holding your arms down. Can you move them for me~?”

“Nohohoho way in hehehell!” Akutagawa laughed, shaking his head as his face got even redder. Atsushi hummed, worming his fingers under Akutagawa’s arms as he yelped, looking up at Atsushi with wide eyes.

“Dohon’t-”

He was cut off by a loud shriek as Atsushi managed to wiggle the rest of his fingers under his tightly clamped arms, lightly scribbling them against Akutagawa’s underarm as he laughed loudly, squirming as much as he could as he kicked his legs slightly.

“NOHohoho! Not thehehehere! Plehehehease!”

Atsushi cooed at Akutagawa before bursting into his own fit of giggles, amused by his partner’s reactions. He looked completely different from his normal self; smiling widely, dimples showing, laughing freely… Atsushi had never really seen him like this.

“Stahahap! Stopstopstop stahahap! I cahahan’t!” Akutagawa yelped, his laughter nearing hiccuping territory as Atsushi pulled his hands back slowly. Akutagawa caught his breath, but only for a few moments, because in the next second, Atsushi was cupping his cheeks and kissing out the last of his regained breath.

He held him there for only a short while, pulling back with a wide smile on his face as Akutagawa stared up at him, completely dumbfounded.

Atsushi’s smile was bright as always, sending butterflies flapping against the sides of Akutagawa’s stomach as Atsushi broke into more giggles, leaning down and hugging Akutagawa.

“I’ve never seen you like that! You looked so happy, I’ll need to do that again sometime!” He tittered, and Akutagawa groaned, shaking his head.

“You were tickling me, of course I looked happy. You can’t help but laugh when someone tickles you, that’s just common sense.”

Atsushi hummed, patting Akutagawa’s cheek gently before hopping off of him. 

“Still… you looked so wonderful… I want you to be like that more often, even without me tickling you.”

Akutagawa felt his cheeks warm just a bit as he nodded slowly, Atsushi still smiling at him as he reached for his hand.

“Now come on, I know you’re still sleepy. Let’s go take a nap together! I can finish my work later,” Atsushi offered, and Akutagawa walked with him to the bedroom.

Atsushi curled up behind Akutagawa, holding his waist gently as Akutagawa slowly drifted back off to sleep. Atsushi held him the whole time, and Akutagawa couldn’t help the small, earnest smile that crept up his lips before he fell asleep.

[linkspooky]

Atsushi: Black and White Stripes

Chapter 88 begins with Akutagawa giving his life for Atsushi, and Atsushi not really knowing or understand why, especially the meaning behind his actions. This is really typical of Atsushi who fights to protect people, and doesn’t really understand them.

1. Akutagawa the Villain, Atsushi the Hero

Atsushi grew up in an environment where he was constantly made to feel like he was a bad person, unworthy of any love at all. Only good people have worth. Only good people who save others are worthy to live. That’s the black and white values the headmaster drilled into his head. 

The headmaster’s extreme black and white values, and the hell he put Atsushi through to try to raise him as a good person, someone who would help others, had the effect of coloring Atsushi’s view of the world as incredibly black and white. 

The world is crawling with monsters. The world has vile, evil people who use their strength to abuses the weak. It’s because he was told these things by the head master who was his only source of information on the outside world, who controlled his life entirely, that he believes them. He divides people, into the strong and the weak. He divides people into the good and the bad. He sees some as worthy of saving, and others as monsters who need to be defeated. 

Perhaps the earliest and most clear version of this divide Atsushi sees in people is between Akutagawa and Kyouka. Akutagawa and Kyouka both kill people for the mafia. However, the number of people Kyouka has killed, all her bad deeds, barely matter at all to Atsushi, because when he first meets her she’s a crying victim who wants to be saved.

When Atsushi believes she didn’t want to kill people, that it wasn’t her fault, that someone else told her to do these things, in his mind she becomes yet another crying victim in need of saving. He simplifies her. That’s also why, when he sees Akutagawa who presents a much more complex idea of victimhood, who also kills people for the mafia, but who unlike Kyouka seems strong instead of weak.

Instead of giving him any chances, Akutagawa conveniently slides into the role of villain in Atsushi’s narrative. He fights Akutagawa with everything he has, and does his best to deny any similarity between the two of them or see sympathy for him.

Atsushi himself is divided. Between the helpless orphan who was abused, and the tiger who rampages around and kills others. He also divides other people, Kyouko the victim, Akutagawa the murderer. 

Even though we know as the audience, that part of Kyouka was angry too. Part of her was empty and just wanted to lash out at the world, and didn’t really care what happened to her or other people. 

That’s why she feels so sorry in the first place, because she in fact... did bad things. Atsushi isn’t capable of grasping that nuance however. Good people save others, bad people use their strength to hurt others. That’s what has been drilled into his head. However, what is this arc but people who are considered traditionally good, doing bad things, even horrible things.

Atsushi asks Goggol the clown why he kills people, and he’s given two answers, the answer that he wants to hear, and the real answer. 

Atsushi is a victim, so naturally he wants to believe that the people who tormented him for so long were just being cruel. If the world is just dvided into villains and victims, then Atsushi can keep fighting as he’s always had to save people and keep on living that way.

However, people who are traditionally considered heroes in this arc turn out to be the villain. The mastermind behind it all is Fukuzawa’s old friend. The hero is also a war crimminal. (Hence, the title of the set of chapters, Hero vs Crimminal). What broke him in the first place was the fact that he had to do horrible things to people over and over again, for supposedly righteous reasons, to the point where he despises people who believe they’re good.

This arc so far plays with and subverts all of Atsushi’s expectations. He’s already dimsissed Akutagawa as a villain, but when he’s all alone, and in need of saving it’s Akutagawa who comes to save him. It’s literally the tagline of the arc within both good and evil, heroes exist. 

However, while Akutagawa has shown up to help Atsushi. Atsushi hasn’t helped Akutagawa yet. Atsushi hasn’t given Akutagawa the same understanding that Akutagawa has given him. 

He still expects Akutagawa to break his promises. To kill. If Akutagawa and Atsushi were to perfectly understand each other and cooperate like Chuuya and Dazai once did, there’s no enemy that should be able to beat them, but they don’t do that this time around. As a duo they’re still incomplete, and I think the growth needs to happen on Atsushi’s end this time. 

They need to grow into something beyond what Dazai and Chuuya are capable of. Akuatagawa neesd to stop living up to Dazai’s expectations, blindly listening to everything he says. 

Atsushi and Akutagawa both trust completely in Dazai for different reasons, but, in their own actions, in their own will,do they trust themselves? And more importantly, do they trust each other? 

We see Akutagawa has now done the opposite of everything Atsushi expected him to do. He showed up to save Atsushi. He kept his promise and didn’t kill. He didn’t betray Atsushi for more power when given the chance. He even sacrifices his life completely to save him, and Atsushi can’t really process or understand why he did any of this.

If Atsushi and Akutagawa were truly working together, if they could face each other, understand each other, then they would have overcome the person they were trying to fight. But, as is often the case, they were fighting themselves, fighting each other first before anything else. Akutagawa and Atsushi failed to come to an understanding, and so this time around they lost the fight. 

It’s interesting now that Akutagawa said: words are unnecessary, only my actions. Akutagawa tried to show his intentions to Atsushi, and Atsushi is just left completely puzzled over his actions. Even though he was saved by Akutagawa, Atsushi can’t really comperehend that because Akutagawa is the villain, he’s not supposed to save people. 

In terms of plot, Akutagawa’s resurrection as a vampire is incredibly symbolic. Esecially since his first victim is Higuchi, someone he has an incredbily complicated relationship with. He’s abused HIguchi in the past, he’s slapped her, reprmianded her, and he’s also thanked her sincerely for his loyalty and apologized for his actions. A complexity that Atsushi probably wouldn’t understand. 

Essentially, he’s become what Atsushi has always seen him as. A mindless killer. A killer without a heart. A monstrous person with nothing inside. Isn’t it ironic, that right after being saved by Akutagawa, the Akutagawa that Atsushi is going to meet next is everything he always thought he wanted to be.

He thought he wanted Akutagawa to be the villain because that would make him good. He thought he wanted Akutagawa to not have reasons behind why he killed people, because that meant Atsushi didn’t have to sympathize with him. 

Now Akutagawa is a mindless monster, and Atsushi is probably going to hate it. This is once again their foiling. Akutagawa only looks at death. Atsushi only looks at life.

So of course, Akutagawa becomes a vampire who sucks on others blood to heal himself. While Atsushi is able to magically regenerate from any wound because of the tiger’s power. 

I think there are two things that need to happen now for Atsushi to win this time. 1) He needs to actually understand Akutagawa and face him head on this time, as a person, rather than a villain.  2) He needs to decide that Akutagawa is worthy of saving too, just like Kyouka. 

Because Atsushi says that Akutagawa can’t be saved, but what he really means is himself. Atsushi doesn’t want to save Akutagawa, because he sees all the bad parts of himself in Akutagawa. However, those bad parts are just as worthy as all of Atsushi’s good parts. 

I think if there is anyone who can bring Akutagawa back from being a mindless monster, it’s Atsushi, and he can do this by reminding Akutagawa of the human he once was. He was a good person, and a bad one. 

It’s only after he’s accepted the black and white of both Akutagawa and himself, that he’ll be ready for a round two. 

[glitchy-anime-fan]

Cat!Atsushi spending the day with Akutagawa (hc)

This is based off my “Atsushi w/cat like urges” headcanons (will be linked below). Feel free to take this as platonic or romantic 😉

TW- mild swearing (nothing to bad, just a few mentioned here or there)

It originally started out as a way for the ADA to get at least one moment of peace to do their work without worrying about Atsushi accidentally swating something off the table or out of someone’s hands

It was one of Atsushi’s “bad days” where the cat urges he felt from the Tiger were more violent/prominent and between the broken mugs and near constant head scratches, everyone was starting to get frustrated

Atsushi included

He felt terrible for causing so many problems around the office and always got frustrated when he couldn’t control the urges the Tiger gave him

Of course no one blamed Atsushi, it wasn’t his fault his ability caused him to nap if he sat in the sun to long, or lead him to ignore people completely for no reason

But it was taking Kunikida all his will power to not yell at Atsushi when he swatted at his ponytail like it was a cat toy for the fourth time that morning

Of course Dazai, being the selfless mentor he was, offered an idea

“I have a job for you that should take up most of the day. I’ll even call Akutagawa to help out!”

It was clear as day that Dazai was scheming something, but everyone was to tired to argue.

And it would be good for the truce if the Agency and Mafia worked together more often

So thats what lead to Dazai and Atsushi walking across town to the Port Mafia HQ to steal Akutagawa on his day off

He refused to let Atsushi know where he lived, so they planned to meet at the Port Mafia instead

“Why do I have to be teamed up with him?” Atsushi had whined as they walked through Yokohama

“Because it’ll help the Agency and Mafia get along better!” Dazai had responded with a big smile as he wrapped an arm around Atsushi so he didn’t walk off

‘It’ll help You and Akutagawa get along better’ is what Dazai really meant

Luckily Atsushi’s discourage about having to spend the day with Akutagawa kept him from getting to distracted on the walk over (he only wondered off twice)

When they got there Akutagawa was patiently waiting outside the Port Mafia building, though he also looked less than pleased to be spending his day off with the weretiger

Dazai pretty much just dropped off Atsushi with a “Take care of him, and be careful around cups!” Before walking off

Atsushi and Akutagawa just glared at each other before Atsushi sighed and asked if Akutagawa was hungry

“We can go over the case while we eat, that’s all” Akutagawa didn’t argue, just huffed and started walking down the street

The first thing that Akutagawa learned about the Jinko was that if he didn’t keep a close eye on Atsushi, he would loose him in the heavy crowds of Yokohama

The first time Akutagawa lost Atsushi, the latter was helping a little girl who had gotten separated from her parents. Nothing new

The second time he lost Atsushi, he was found at one of the candy shops in town. “Ranpo-san’s birthday is coming up soon and this is his favourite shop” Atsushi had claimed

They spent much longer than Akutagawa would have liked in the candy store, but Atsushi refused to budge until he got all of Ranpo’s favourites

The third time they got separated, Akutagawa found that Atsushi had somehow been convinced to chase birds in the park with some of the little kids

Akutagawa had no idea how or when that had happened but he was already starting to loose his patience. This was the third time in the half hour since they left that Atsushi had wondered off

Akutagawa had to practically drag Atsushi by the collar to get him to leave, especially when Atsushi tried to get them to stay by giving him the big kitten eyes

It took all Akutagawa’s will power and “hatred” for Atsushi to not sigh and agree to five more minutes of running around

The second thing Akutagawa learned was that Atsushi ate...a lot...

“It’s the tiger” he had said sheepishly after scarfing down his 12th bowl of chazuke within the short time they had been at the restaurant.

Akutagawa just hummed and continued to eat his food. He wasn’t one to judge, Rashomon was the same way.

The third thing Akutagawa learned was to keep anything and everything glass or ceramic away from Atsushi

Atsushi had tried to explain that it was one of his “bad days” but Akutagawa didn’t catch on until half way through their lunch when Atsushi tried to swat the tower of empty bowls off the table

Luckily for them Aku was quick on his feet, using Rashomon to catch the bowls, and finding out it apparently wasn’t uncommon for things to get knocked off the tables according to their waitress

“The tables are pretty small, it happens all the time so don’t worry” she had said while Atsushi began to apologize profusely for the trouble

Needless to say, they took over the neighbouring table to keep their empty dishes on so they didn’t have another incident

The fourth, fifth, and sixth things Akutagawa learned was that Atsushi couldn’t sit in the sun for more then a few minutes without falling asleep, he was clingy, and he was addicted to head scratches

“Jinko, hand me that case file Dazai-san gave you.” Akutagawa had asked only to get no response from Atsushi.

“Jinko? Jinko are you listening to me?” He had asked, looking up to see Atsushi’s head resting in his arms and face towards the window. It was only when Akutagawa saw the sun illuminating his partners face did he realize Atsushi had fallen sleep.

“You have got to be kidding me...” it took Akutagawa two minutes longer than usual to wake Atsushi up. It wasn’t the first time Atsushi has fallen asleep during a mission. But it was usually during late night steak outs not in the middle of the afternoon at a restaurant. In the end Akutagawa had to blow in Atsushi’s face to get him to finally wake up.

“Huh...what’s wrong Akutagawa?” Atsushi had asked as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Akutagawa did not find it cute when Atsushi’s nose scrunched up as he stretched out his arms. He most certainly did not!

“You fell asleep”

“O-oh my gosh! I-I’m so so sorry Akutagawa! The sun makes me really sleepy! I’m sorry!” Atsushi had stuttered out, face red with embarrassment. Akutagawa just shook his head and told Atsushi it was fine.

“But sit over hear so you don’t fall asleep again, idiot”

So there they sat, Atsushi sitting as close to Akutagawa as humanly possible. Like he was borderline sitting in Aku’s lap as they looked over the files

“Jinko must you be so close?”

“Yes, it’ll be easier for both of us to read the files like this”

So there they sat, Atsushi practically in Akutagawa’s lap, his head on the mafioso’s shoulder as they read through the files Dazai gave them.

It wasn’t long before Akutagawa could feel Atsushi staring a hole into his hands. Every time Akutagawa moved his hand to turn a page or cover a cough, Atsushi’s eyes would follow like a hawk

Rather than just ask Atsushi what was wrong, Akutagawa decided to do a little experiment. He had remembered seeing Dazai pat Atsushi’s head a few times in the past, and the weretiger seemed to like it

So without much thought Akutagawa raised his free hand and rested it on Atsushi’s head. Atsushi squeaked a little in surprised confusion before eventually melting into his partners touch

That’s when Akutagawa discovered his favourite thing about Atsushi; thing seven, the jinko purred when he was happy

Though it wasn’t long before Akutagawa learned his least favourite cat trait that Atsushi had

It was getting late and both boys were starting to think Dazai had sent them on a while goose chase (took them long enough)

“I’m starting to think Dazai-san has sent us on a wild goose chase.” Akutagawa huffed out, rubbing his temples with his free hand. The other one was holding three of Atsushi’s shopping bags, apparently they were all gifts for the Agency members.

After a few moments of silence, Akutagawa raised an eyebrow.

“Jinko?”

No response.

“Jinko! Jinko are you listening to me?”

Still no response. Now Akutagawa was starting to get annoyed.

“Jinko you best not have fallen asleep again because I will NOT be carrying you back-“ When Akutagawa finally turned around he was surprised to see Atsushi still following him, and not asleep on a park bench (it had happened earlier, Aku was not happy). Though rather then looking Akutagawa in the face like his partner usually would, Atsushi was staring at his phone.

Okay. Maybe Atsushi just didn’t hear him, the weretiger did have an annoying habit of zoning out during missions when nothing was happening. So Akutagawa stopped and tried again.

“Jinko snap out of whatever trance you’re in. We’re still working remember?”

But rather than Atsushi snapping out of it, stopping in his tracks and apologizing like usual, he just continued walking down the street. It was almost as if he was ignoring Akutagawa.

“Jinko are you ignoring me!? Where are you going!?”

Still no response. Now Akutagawa was getting pissed. No way in hell was he just going to stand by and allow his cat like partner to just ignore him after all the babysitting he had to do! Atsushi had walked off three more times after lunch and Akutagawa did not want to be dragged around another department store.

So Akutagawa stormed over to Atsushi, grabbed his shoulder, spun the weretiger around, and snatched his phone.

“Atsushi look at me damn it!”

That seemed to pull Atsushi out of his daze. ‘Finally!’ Akutagawa thought as Atsushi looked up at him, purple and gold eyes blinking a few times before registering what was happening.

Suddenly Atsushi’s face turned a deep red and his face dropped in horror; Akutagawa had him by the shoulder, Atsushi’s phone in hand, and had actually used his name for once. He messed up and he messed up big.

“A-Akutagawa...I-I-I’m so so so so so s-sorry! Oh, it happened again, and in public this time! I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to, I just kind of zone out and oh my god your probably angry with me now!” Atsushi scrambled out in a mix of embarrassment, guilt, and fear. It was one thing when he accidentally ignored the ADA members...it was another thing to ignore Akutagawa.

Noticing Atsushi’s nervousness, Akutagawa let out a long, drawn out sigh and let go of Atsushi to run his hands over his face. While Akutagawa didn’t appreciate being completely ignored like that, he could tell Atsushi wasn’t doing it on purpose. Honestly, he was starting to think that none of the weird things Atsushi had done today was on purpose.

“It-its fine, just don’t let it happen again”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll try!”

It wasn’t long after that till they realised they had, in fact, been sent on a wild goose chase and neither one was happy about it

“Dazai-san! I can’t believe you would send us out on a fake mission like this! Well, actually I can believe it, but still!” Atsushi had said the moment they entered the ADA office

Dazai, of course, was laying on the couch with a smile on his face that clearly screamed, ‘But you both had a good time didn’t you?’

Despite a few hiccups here and there, Akutagawa and Atsushi had to admit that the day wasn’t all that bad.

They still kicked Dazai off the couch though. They were tired and needed a minute to sit.

It wasn’t long before Atsushi had passed out again, his head laying in Akutagawa’s lap this time.

“Do you want me to move him Akutagawa? It’s getting pretty late?” Dazai had asked when he noticed the silver haired boy had gone quite.

Akutagawa glanced down at his partner; he had covered Atsushi with his jacket so only his face was visible, but even so his face looked the most relaxed it had been all day and he could hear Atsushi’s purring as he combed through his hair. A ghost of a smile tugged at Akutagawa’s lips as he shook his head.

“No, it’s alright. It seems he’s claimed my lap for the time being”

Wow okay, this is my first time doing a set up like this! I hope it turned out good 😅. Like I mentioned earlier this is based off of a mini series on my tiktok (@bigglitchcos) about Atsushi if he had cat urges. Someone had mentioned doing a skit where Shin Soukoku spend the day together, so here’s my take!

Cat!Atsushi hc pt 1 | Cat!Atsushi hc pt 2