#and dean taking it out on jack the way john took it out on sam | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

queermania · 1 year ago

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hi i recently came across your blog and have been reading a lot of your posts about dean - your analysis is incredible. i was wondering... in your opinion, which arc is the worst when it comes to deancrits misunderstanding/critiquing dean unfairly?

so i'm 50/50 on whether this is genuine or bait. if it's not bait, i'm so sorry. you did nothing wrong. it's just that i get a lot of messages that are so very clearly not in good faith. if it is bait, well, joke's on you because i'm about to say a bunch of words and a bunch of people are gonna read them. so.

i think the most obvious answer to your question is the jack situation but i'm not sure it's the correct one. i think by the time we even get to jack (especially to the soulless!jack part of it all) a lot of people have already sort of lost the plot on why dean is ever behaving the way he is. there's this tendency to view his behavior as if he wants to control the people closest to him, not always because he's inherently malicious but often because he wants to keep them safe and keep them close to him to the detriment of himself and everyone around him (see look! it's not deancrit! we know he's not a bad guy. we're just being objective and he's just an abusive asshole who should burn in hell). and i get it. i see how they got there.

but it's frustrating because how they got there is by 1. taking every single thing the characters say at face value despite all evidence to the contrary 2. viewing every single thing dean does or says in a vacuum, removed from any and all context and 3. forgetting that supernatural is a fantasy show, not a family drama or sitcom.

take the demon blood story line for example. what we actually see is:

sam going on a mission for revenge regardless of the costs or consequences (which he's aware exist even if he doesn't know the exact details)

dean trusting his brother until he finds out his brother's been lying to him

sam being told that what he's doing is wrong on multiple occasions by multiple people

dean offering ruby his gratitude for saving sam's life and an apology for the way he's been treating her since he got back from hell

sam continuing to lie and act shady

dean telling sam that he doesn't care about the demon blood/sam's powers, he just cares about sam's behavior

sam draining an entire nurse and killing her

sam almost killing dean on purpose and telling him he's not strong enough, not like sam is

dean still being the one to offer an apology when all is said and done, twice

but all of that gets rewritten into a narrative that dean's just never trusted sam ever and sam was only doing something he thought was right because all he ever wanted to do was save people. how could he have possibly known something bad would happen? and now, even after the fact, even after sam's said he's sorry, dean still won't let it go and holds it against sam forever and ever.

this narrative persists throughout the fandom. why? because sam threw a few tantrums in which he rewrote what was happening and dean didn't protest and the fandom took it at face value. (1)

on top of that, deancrits treat each of dean's actions like they happened in a vacuum. one of the things deancrits fixate on the most regarding the demon blood plot is dean saying, "You walk out that door, don't you ever come back." in 4x21. they treat it as if dean was being controlling and manipulative; abusive, even. they treat it as if, out of nowhere, dean just decided to throw john's words in sam's face because sam simply wouldn't do what dean wanted him to do.

what actually happened, however, was that sam had been lying to dean for twenty-one episodes about what he was doing, despite the continued warnings not to do what he was doing, and now sam had beaten the shit out of dean, left him bruised and bloodied on the floor, to go do something that dean had been told repeatedly, from a source they all thought was the authority on the subject, that sam absolutely should not do. what actually happened was dean made a last-ditch desperate effort to stop his brother from doing something dangerous that would get himself and possibly a lot of other people killed. (2)

the deancrits also tend to magically forget they're watching a genre show, not a family drama, when it comes to analyzing dean. the source of conflict wasn't that dean just didn't like sam's new girlfriend because sam trusted her more than him. it was that sam's new girlfriend was a demon and dean had just gotten back from forty years in hell being tortured... by demons. it was that dean had angels of the lord, before he really knew that the angels couldn't be trusted, telling him he needed to stop sam. it was that the angel that rescued him from an eternity of torture and becoming a demon himself told him that he needed to stop sam. (3)

so the deancrits frame this conflict between sam and dean as if dean just didn't trust sam, for no reason other than sam was hanging out with somebody else, and dean was being irrational about it. after all, sam was only trying to stop lilith, right? dean was being irrational and controlling. and it sounds reasonable when you look at it from their perspective. but their perspective is not anywhere near the reality of what was actually happening.

and that happens over and over and over again. we see it with the idea that dean is the one who is codependent to a toxic degree, despite all evidence to the contrary*. we see it with the idea that dean thinks all monsters should die and sam wants to save/help them. we see it with the conflict in s6 being framed as dean just being angry that cas dared to do something without his permission. we see it with the fractured relationship between the brothers in s8, both regarding dean's return from purgatory and the trials. we see it with the gadreel arc and then the one with cas leading the angels. we see it with the mark of cain and the darkness. we see it with mary's return. and then we see it with jack, and most especially we see it with soulless!jack.

it's all so exhausting. by the time we get to jack, the deancrit has piled up the same way the narrative circumstances weighing on dean have, and so it feels like deancrits are fundamentally misunderstanding the situation more severely than they have anything else but i think in reality it's just the last straw.

so i guess what i'm trying to say is that the misunderstanding isn't necessarily about the individual arcs but about the way a genre story is told in general. they're not just unfairly critiquing an arc. they're mischaracterizing a whole ass dude and fifteen seasons of a show.

*dean dragged sam back into hunting. how do we know that? because sam said it. what did we actually see? dean bringing sam back to stanford for his interview. sam going back to hunting because of the fire that killed jess. dean wanting to take a break from hunting several times while sam kept pushing them to keep going. dean wanting to split up and stay away from each other for awhile after the demon blood thing. sam leaving amelia before he even knew dean was alive/back from purgatory. dean telling sam to go back to amelia. sam choosing, all on his own, not to go back to amelia. sam basically threatening suicide because dean had other friends. sam unleashing the darkness because he didn't want to be alone. etc. etc. etc.

**also i think there is a conversation to be had about dean's coping mechanisms and trauma responses being less palatable though not anymore harmful than both sam's and castiel's but that's a different conversation for a different day

#replies #anonymous #dw

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retromotherfuckers · 3 months ago

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When The Sun Sets - Part 5

What To Say

Characters:

morgan winchester (OC), dean winchester (his POV), sam winchester, john winchester, will mciver (OC) & bobby singer (mentioned)

Summary:

There was no part of Dean that could excuse his failure to act, his inability to keep them safe. They were all he had, and he'd fucked up so bad that one was gone.

Warnings (for entire story):

SPN typical violence, so so much suppressing of emotions, vague mention of SA, depiction of torture, a very pro-torture main character, murder, vague mention of not eating for a while, parental abuse, slight suicidal ideation, SPN typical alcohol abuse, spoiler warning up to the end of season 10, following canon stops after the end of season 2 but things are sure to be mentioned

Word Count:

3.1k ~ roughly

A/N:

so this came to me in the shower lol. i literally sat down and wrote it right then and there. i ended up being in there for hours so don't ask about the water bill.

this being part 5 kinda doesn't sit right with me but it also doesn't fit as a standalone either

i'm not really sure where to take this story after this so lmk if there's more you want to see, also if the pov is confusing. and i kinda wanna write a sam pov but i just relate more to dean so it's way easier for me to write him

this is basically a character study/relationship dynamic of dean and morgan

dean: 36, morgan: 35 (her body is 27), sam: 32

Dean Winchester wasn't proud of a lot of the things he'd done. But he took immense pride in his family and what they did. His father raised them as soldiers, and with the way of the world, it was necessary. He taught them how to shoot with such a pristine accuracy they could probably best a lifelong sharpshooter. He taught them to punch, how to aim, and get the most force out of it.

When he was six, he learned about the creatures that lurked in the dark. And how his dad was someone who fought them. About how his dad was a hero, which was why they had to stay with their uncle most of the time.

By the time he was eight, Dean slept with a silver knife under his pillow and a shotgun between him and his siblings. By ten, his dad gave him a .45. By thirteen, they stopped staying with Uncle Bobby, and Dean was officially in charge at all times.

And by nineteen, he had successfully taken out several monsters by himself.

"You know you're good at the job when you can take 'em out on your own," his dad would say afterward. It was his real introduction to the family business. He held his father's words like a Purple Heart, nearly floating on the praise for weeks.

Even with the accomplishment, he couldn't stop feeling like his siblings were the shining lights of the family. This world ruined him and his father, but they were still young enough to enjoy it.

Sam had only been fifteen, but he was one of the smartest people Dean had ever met. He never really understood why Sam loved fantastical stories and books so much, even if it paid off in the end. That kid was a genius researcher who could find just about anything if you gave him the right materials. And if he needed to find the right materials, he did.

He wasn't just book smart, though. He was probably the most intelligent member of his family when it came to emotions and all that crap. Sam was always the first one to try to resolve a fight with words instead of fists, even though Dean and his father were apes who didn't seem to care.

And his little sister was one of the kindest. She was only a year younger than he, but she walked the earth like a being sent from above. Sure, they had their fights - and, fuck, there were a lot of them, now that he thought about it - but she always found some way to forgive him. Especially when he didn't deserve it.

Morgan took care of them. In every way, shape and form. Somehow, she anticipated what they needed before they knew it themselves. Whether that be a bowl of hot soup, a fight, or a bottle of jack, she always knew. Sam and their father would never stop fighting, and while Dean would nearly freeze, unsure which side to take, she would stay neutral and diffuse the situation. Or, if that didn't work, she'd take that hit for Sam.

Dean would panic when they fought. He always saw both sides. Sam: the kid, pissed off about his overly strict father that never let him have any freedom. John: the dad, pissed off that his son didn't understand how easy it was to get killed.

He knew why their father treated them the way he did. They needed to be taught how to handle themselves against anything, no matter the circumstances.

"The day you trust another hunter is the day you get killed."

He trusted his siblings with his life. Even if they hadn't gone on hunts alone yet, he knew they'd protect his life with their own if it came down to it. But that would never happen. Dean wouldn't let it if it killed him.

When he was twenty-six, John died to save him. And part of him was numb to it, the death and all. Death was just a Tuesday to him. But this was his father, and another part of him was devastated. His father taught him almost everything he knew, cleaned up every single mess, and made sure Dean knew what he did.

The last part - an ugly fucking part - was glad. His father was a great man, but he was so damn obsessed with the demon that killed their mother. Any chance Dean had at a childhood was stripped away from him at four years old. He was the oldest, so John made sure he stepped up. Sam and Morgan would die if he didn't.

The night his mother died was the night his father became his drill sergeant, and his siblings became his to protect.

He remembered a lot of that night. The fire, the smoke, baby Sammy completely unaware of what was going on around him, and Morgan screaming in terror because she didn't understand what was going on. Dean was little, too, and he didn't completely understand either, but he knew he had to keep them safe.

"That's your job, Dean." His father told him when he was seven. "You're the only one who can do it when I'm not here."

Then, when Dean was twenty-eight, his sister would die for their younger brother. There had never been a day in which he didn't hate himself for it. It should've been him, but Morgan was faster. And he would never forgive himself for it.

Hunters died young. He'd known that all his life, but he never thought he'd outlive his siblings. There was no part of him that could excuse his failure to act, his inability to keep them safe. They were all he had, and he'd fucked up so bad that one was gone.

Even if they'd been pitted against each other their whole lives. Who was a better shot, who threw the more damaging punch, who drew the knife faster. He might've been the one that won in their father's eyes, and at the time, it had meant everything. But now, it all seemed so useless. He wanted to go back and knock some damn sense into himself.

He went over more of the memories. When he gave Morgan his old knife for her birthday, and when he ripped it away from her because he was angry about something he didn't even remember. When she beat him at one of John's exercises and he swung at her. When she didn't fight back. When she started going out with Will and their father beat the shit out of the two of them. When he beat Will up for putting his hand on his little sister's ass and she did fight back.

He remembered when their father died and how Morgan didn't say a word to him. She had just sat and waited for him to go to her because she knew pushing him wasn't the way to get him to talk. He didn't say much at first, but she's the only one he told about that ugly part of him.

"Dad was a fucking dick," she had said, her eyes watering and voice cracking. Her words had given him the freedom to actually take a breath. He was the first to say something awful about their father after he died, but Morgan wouldn't let him think he was the only one thinking it. "And we deserved better than him."

That night, he was able to sleep for the first time in days.

He also remembered when Sam and their father had the worst fight of their lives. Their father went to hit Sam, something he rarely did. And this time, instead of taking it, Sam dodged it and sent one flying back.

Dean had been stuck watching. He agreed with his father that Sam would be safer with them than alone at college. But he also didn't want Sam to hate his life. And if school would make him happy, he wasn't really against it. Morgan was the one who stepped up, physically pulling Sam back and taking the inevitable swing their father had meant for the youngest.

"Enough!" She had yelled at both of them, wiping away the blood dripping down her cheek from their father's ring. It had snapped Dean out of his reverie, and all three of the men in the room stared at her with wide eyes. "Dad, go for a drive or something-"

"This is none of your-"

"I. Don't. Care." Morgan had been seething, and Dean had never heard such a tone used with their father. Every word was a sentence so dark and menacing chills crept up his spine. "Get. Out."

Something in their father's face had changed as she told him to go. Like he had finally realized she wasn't the girl who used to cling to his leg when she wanted him to hold her. He could see the hunter he burned into her, an unwavering and unforgiving warrior who would bleed something dry if it meant saving a few lives.

So, with a final snarl, John left, and she immediately turned to Sam. She softened her voice a little, but her glare hadn't changed. He hadn't seen his sister that angry since the incident with Will. "Take a shower. And chill the fuck out."

"But-"

"Sam." She didn't have to say anything else. "I'm not kidding."

It was an order, and Morgan never gave them orders. Dean did sometimes if he was following their father's command, but Morgan had taken charge, as she usually had done during times like these.

When everything started to break.

Sam didn't argue with her after that.

It was then that Dean realized he was heaving. He just couldn't catch his breath. It was all falling apart, but so was he. His younger brother wanted to leave them, and even if he said it wasn't personal, Dean could only take it that way. And Sam would be in so much danger if he went to school. By himself, in one place, who knows what could have happened? The school could've been haunted, or there could be werewolves or vampires or-

"Dean," Morgan had said, shocking him away from his train of thought. Her voice was way more delicate. It was almost like she was talking to a frightened animal rather than her older brother. "Count to ten."

His breath was shaky and his head was moving from the left to the right in quick, jerky movements. He tried to get the word out, one. It was easy. He knew how to count to ten, for fuck's sake. But it was stuck on his tongue, and his tongue was stuck to the bottom of his jaw.

"Hey, it's okay," she soothed him, holding up her hands to display her fingers. How she had noticed his panic in the midst of everything going on around them, he had no idea. But she always saw those things. "I'll do it first, then we'll do it together."

That was just Morgan.

Dean's brother was half of his reason for living, but his sister was the other.

And now, at thirty-six, he had Morgan back. She looked the same as she did the last time he saw her alive. Her skin was smooth and a little bit tan. Her hair was that same dirty blonde he remembered so well. Her chin was sharp like their father's, but her nose was small like their mother's.

Dean had always been jealous of Morgan's eyes. He looked at himself and saw his father; he looked at his sister and saw his mother. Almond-shaped and blue with a green ring around the pupil. The earth and the sky had collided to give their mother her eyes. And Morgan was blessed with them, too.

And when he wanted nothing more than to talk to Mary, Morgan was the hardest person to look at. He wished it wasn't true, but he let himself resent her for it.

But now, they were so different.

Morgan was, by no means, unscathed by the life. He had seen it, the way her eyes dimmed throughout her life. And he was sure she saw his do the same. Dean knew he looked his age, but his sister's body was still twenty-seven, so why did she look older than him? Why did she look like she had fought in two wars?

It was a stupid question to think, and he knew that. And he knew the answer to it, but it was still jarring.

They were gray and brown, not blue and green. Maybe it was the dim lighting, but Dean knew better. He was in the pit for six months or sixty years - whatever time measurement he wanted to go by at the moment - and he had it on good authority that he wasn't the same when he came back.

Dean watched Morgan watch Sam as he undid the iron shackles binding her to the chair. He stepped back after freeing her, presumably giving her a moment to get control of her bearings. She closed and opened her fist like she was regaining guardianship of her motor functions. She was clearly confused as she gazed around the room, her brow furrowing at the unfamiliar walls. Then her eyes traveled back to Sam, and she seemed even more perplexed.

"How old are you?"

Dean wasn't too shocked at the question; Sam had become a man since the last time Morgan had seen him. He hadn't gotten taller, but as his hair got longer, his features sharpened, and he grew into himself. He looked nothing like the him Morgan remembered. He looked more like himself as a kid back then.

"Thirty-two," Sam said. His voice was quiet, but it wasn't his usual tone. It was the voice he used when hunting, and he had to rescue someone. Temperate and resonant, like he wasn't a monster hunter.

"Sammy grew up. We both did," Dean quipped, making his voice way lighter than he felt. He took a few steps closer to her until he was just behind the youngest. He nodded to their brother conspiratorally. "Him more than me."

She didn't know what to say; Dean knew that, and he wouldn't force her. Her pale, anxious face turned to him at his words, and she stared at her older brother. He heard her mumble, but he didn't know what she said. He saw his sister doing the calculation in her head, realizing how long it had truly been for them. He knew how long it had been for him, and six months was nearly sixty years in Hell time.

He had no desire to do that math.

"Eight years?" She rasped out, her voice hoarse like she hadn't used it that whole time. "That's it?"

Apparently, not knowing the right thing to say was a family trait.

The eldest Winchester was stuck staring at her. Her blonde hair he had almost forgotten, her rough and slightly metallic voice, his mother's eyes. He had never thought he'd hear or see any of them ever again. She was practically skin and bone - something that concerned him. It seemed her demon alter-ego had forgotten that humans needed to eat and wasn't feeding her. It probably wasn't letting her sleep either. Her face was the same one he had remembered so well, but this version was so gaunt and exhausted.

He was tempted to carry her into a room and put her to bed like she was little again. She needed rest; there was no doubt about that. And he'd let her sleep for days if she didn't look like she'd starve.

When Morgan tried to get up, she stumbled. Dean shot a hand out to catch her by the waist out of reflex, and she breathed out in relief. It looked like she could barely stand.

"Hey, kid," Dean greeted, his words gentle and affectionate. She used to hate it when he called her a kid. She was only a year younger than him, after all, and when they were teenagers, it pissed her off to no end. He kept doing it as they became adults, partially to patronize her, partially to mess with her in good fun. But he had never said it like that. This time, he was calling her the most endearing version of her name. "Good to see you."

Even so, he knew that he hadn't reached it. There were no words he could say to express what he was truly feeling: relief, regret, sadness, happiness, anger. None of it was right. He had just missed his little sister.

She didn't push him when he ignored her question. His non-answer answered enough. He looked at Sam, and saw his little brother's wet eyes with an apologetic smile on his lips. He realized their expressions were probably identical. Morgan's eyes moved back and forth between her brothers. This time, Dean noticed the unshed tears in them.

So he did the only thing he could think of: he pulled her in.

He drew her in so fast she almost lost her footing, but Dean would keep her upright without a second thought. His arms completely enveloped the whole of her, fierce and protective, like she'd slip away if he let go. She didn't have a lot of strength, but he knew she was putting all of her muscle into squeezing him right back. He could feel his shirt getting damp from her tears, and he buried his face in her hair to breathe in her scent.

It was so familiar, yet so different. Morgan used to smell like her favorite shampoo and conditioner, lavender and bergamot. But now she had a hue of citrus to her, with the remains of sulfur. It unsettled him.

Dean let go when she drew back, but it was the last thing he wanted to do. Then he acknowledged Sam, who was waiting to hold his big sister again. He delicately let the support of his sister pass to his youngest brother, and their embrace was just as intense. Sam didn't look like he was ready to let this moment end, but he had to when she pulled away.

She looked like she wanted to say something, but Morgan's mouth kept opening and closing repeatedly like she couldn't find the words. Join the club, he thought.

But it was still Morgan.

And Dean would never let anything happen to her again, even if he didn't know how to say it.

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oliveoil422 · 3 months ago

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I wanna see you before I die

DESTIEL FIC

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

‘I wanna see you before I die,’ I thought as I felt more of my life being drained from me but I can't see you because you are dead. I wish I could have just told you I loved you too before the empty took you. I want to yell and scream at you for making that deal. How could you be so dumb Cass. You have always been there for me. I need you now god damn it! Where are you, you winged dick? All i can think about is how i never got to say i love you back i do i really do Cass i wish you could have told me sooner, why didn't you? You never were scared of anything, hell we even fought Lucifer together! Why couldn't you have said something? Why couldn't you have given me the chance?

Remember when things were much more simple when you were an angel of the lord and I was the man you, “Gripped tight and raised from perdition.” I've known lost all my life, I've lost pretty much everyone I ever cared about but you? Thats different you were suppose to be the one i didn't lose, the one i couldn’t lose. And now here we are, you sitting in the empty, probably cold and alone while I'm here on earth fighting for my life which is coming to an end. Sam doesn't know it yet but i can feel it im not going anywhere. This nail is holding me together at this point. I know it's probably impossible but if i make it to heaven i hope it's with you, i hope the memories that i relive is with you i wish we could have made more.

My whole life has been pretty shitty. I mean watching my mom die then my dad spiraled because of it. The one thing I got right was Sammy, I raised that kid while I was still one myself and he turned out pretty good. Jack, if you can hear my thoughts my prayers please keep him safe, keep the one thing i didn't mess up safe, keep my pain in the ass little brother safe.keep him safe because i won't be able to anymore like i have been his whole life. His whole life I took care of him cause without me he had nobody even though John clearly loved him over me he didn't show it often. Who is going to take care of him while i'm gone? I shouldn't have let this happen. I should have watched out for that nail. Why didn't I look out for it? Dad taught me better than that! I shouldn't be in this situation. It's my own damn fault that I am! Now I'm going to leave Sammy all alone because of my carelessness.

Cass, I know our time was short but it meant alot to me, and it clearly meant alot to you as well. If I ever see you again I wont need an explanation about why you left the way you did or why you said the things you did because I get it. I truly get it. I love you too that's what i would tell you if i ever got the chance to see you again i hope one day i will see some version of you, even a fragment of you would be something, Castiel, former angel of the lord, you mean alot to me thank you forever giving me the thought of day. You pieced me together when you left that hand print you made me whole you made me, me. To answer your question from many years ago, no I don't think I deserve to be saved. I think that you deserve everything good in life, i think you deserve to be saved. But Dean Winchester? Hell no. and everyone knew it too no one thought i should be saved most people wished i was still in the pit some days i agree i mess most things up in my life, i even messed whatever we had because i didn't speak on my feelings or even notice i could feel that way until you made it known to me that i could feel that way that you felt that way.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

author note:if anyone likes this I will write more!

#destiel #spn #dean winchester #dean x castiel #deancas #supernatural #fanfic #castiel

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godstielcult · 2 years ago

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How Childhood Abuse and Trauma Affected Dean Winchester in Adulthood in Supernatural

Supernatural was a television series that spanned fifteen years from 2005 to 2020 created by Eric Kripke that premiered on The WB, now known as The CW (“Supernatural”). Kripke took inspiration from his own life by making family the prime aspect of Supernatural since family was a central part in his upbringing while also incorporating elements of classic Americana from Jack Kerouac’s On the Road and Neil Gaiman’s American Gods and supernatural lore (Rome). The show, Supernatural, followed the brothers Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles) as they continued in their father’s footsteps hunting monsters, creatures, deities, and a multitude of other things that went bump in the night while also attempting to stop the next apocalypse. On top of diving into lore from diverse cultures, religions, and the occult, Supernatural at its heart focused on familial bonds and dynamics. When looking at the central characters of the show, it is evident that Dean Winchester struggles with copious amounts of trauma from his childhood and adolescent years that he still carries onto well into his adulthood (“Supernatural”).

Early Childhood

The first episode of the series is where most of Dean’s trauma stems from. In the flashback from “Pilot,” Dean is around four years old while Sam is six months old. In the flashback, their parents, John and Mary Winchester, put them both down for the night before they themselves head to bed after Dean says goodnight to his little brother. They both part ways with Mary sleeping in what is their bedroom and John sleeping in the easy chair downstairs, which signifies their already strained and far from perfect marriage that Dean mentions in “Dark Side of the Moon.,” before Mary stirs out from her slumber, hearing Sam’s cries from the baby monitor. When she goes to check on him, she notices a tall figure in the room that she assumes is her husband before heading downstairs to turn off the television that is still on. There she finds John fast asleep in the easy chair. After the realization that there is a stranger in Sam’s room, Mary races to the nursery where she is murdered and set aflame by the yellow eyed demon after John enters the nursery from hearing his wife’s screams. After the fire breaks out, John hands Dean his brother and tells him to get out of the house while he attempts to save Mary before leaving the house himself and joining his children as they watch their old life fade away into the flames of the fire.

The death of his mother to Dean is the first traumatic event he vividly experiences. Her death is not only traumatic to him by the close relationship they had, but also with it shattering the sense of safety, security, and love he had felt and experienced before that night. This event is the result of other traumas in his life, such as forcing him to grow up quickly to become a caregiver to his brother, exposing him the harsh realities of poverty, and having to emotionally support his father through his trauma of losing his wife and the horrors that came with the new life John thrusted them into. This event results in Dean experiencing parentification, abuse and neglect, and mental illness.

Parentification is the result of forcing children to take on adult roles that they are not well suited to handle. Children can become parentified if one of their parents were neglected or abused, they abuse different substances, or a traumatic event has happened. There are two types of parentification: instrumental and emotional. Instrumental parentification happens when a child is instructed to do certain tasks, which are not age appropriate for them, by their parent. This includes and is not limited to taking care of younger siblings and providing for the family in some way. Emotional parentification happens when the parent of the child expects them to fulfill their emotional needs. Examples of this behavior can be parents ranting about their marital problems to their children. This form of abuse is constant throughout the entirety of Dean’s childhood (Lewis).

In Supernatural, Dean experienced parentification constantly during his upbringing, even before Mary’s death and John throwing them into the hunting life. The first time the audience sees Dean subject to this is in “Dark Side of the Moon.” After John calls Mary, during the time he moved out for a few days after one of their previous spats, Dean comforts and tends to the emotional needs of his mother after seeing the look on her face after hanging up the phone (“Dark Side of the Moon”). This scene singlehandedly shows the parentification of Dean with him comforting his mother, when she most needed it, after the conversation she had with her husband due to him emotionally tearing her down rather than fulfilling her emotionally. Dean, his son, had to take that place to clean up his mess and provide his mother with the emotional fulfillment she needed (Lewis). Parentification is displayed throughout the episode “Something Wicked.” In “Something Wicked,” Sam and Dean investigate an old case their father had left behind for them, that brings back painful memories from when Dean was a child. When John was hunting the shtriga, a type of witch, Dean was left alone to look after his little brother to make sure nothing would harm him while John was out. This included Dean being responsible for a sawed-off shotgun in case something would attack Sam while his father was gone when he was around eight years old. Being the typical kid, he eventually became bored of just hanging around in the dingy motel room they were staying at and decided to stretch his legs and grab a soda before returning to the room where he finds his father killing the witch before yelling at him and blaming him for not being there to protect his brother when he was only a kid (“Something Wicked”). Despite him being just a child when this occurred, John blames and continues to blame him for this for years for not being there to take care of his brother when it is not his responsibility to be taking care of and parenting a child when he is only a child himself. This brings to light that Dean never really had a childhood or was a kid when he was growing up with having to be there to take care of his brother at a small age as well as both of his parents, which John mentions in the episode “In My Time of Dying.” John states that on the first hunts he went on, he would come back a mess from what he had seen on his most recent hunt. However, Dean was the one that was always there to comfort him and emotionally fulfill him, which gets into more of the emotional parentification from his father that Dean experienced as a small child (“In My Time of Dying”). Through the use of parentification in the show, it is clear that Sam and Dean were neglected as young children.

In the episode “Dead in the Water,” Sam and Dean investigate a series of unnatural drownings from Lake Manitoc in Wisconsin. While investigating what could be the cause of all the drownings, they pose as wildlife officers and ask the sheriff and several other people about what has happened in the town to cause something of this destruction. When asking the sheriff peculiar questions about the drownings, they meet the sheriff’s daughter and grandson. Upon getting acquainted with the two, they find out Andrea’s husband was one of the victims and her mute son Lucas was the one that saw what happened to his father and communicates to others using drawings. By the end of the episode, the brothers find out Andrea’s father and one of the drowned victims kept a secret from them about a boy they knew and had inevitably drowned from their involvement, which resulted in the young boy becoming a vengeful spirit to right wrongs of the past and make them feel what his mother had to go through emotionally with his death. In this episode, Dean opens up about the night his mother died to Lucas to give him someone who understood what he was feeling and thinking that he himself was not granted when his mother passed. Also in this episode, the audience finds out that much like Lucas, Dean also had trouble communicating after the death of his mother, which John documents in his hunting journal. (“Dead in the Water”) Dean’s mutism after the death of his mother could be a result of trying to repress the memory and avoid reliving that night.

Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis and talk therapy, is credited with his proposed theory of defense mechanisms. Most of his work is discredited by most psychologists except for defense mechanisms and his three stems of the mind known as the id, ego, and superego, which psychologists that take a psychodynamic approach in their field accept without believing in Freud’s motivational drive caused by aggression and sex. The defense mechanisms include repression, regression, reaction formation, projection, rationalization, displacement, sublimation, and denial. Regression refers retreating to a former stage of development, according to Freud this would be regression of the psychosexual stages (Meyers 557-563). This perspective shifts as the Neo-Freudians believe in different motivational drives compared to Freud’s sexual and aggressive based one. According to Karen Horney, the motivational drive is people’s desires for love and security. Looking at her perspective when looking at the defense mechanisms as a whole can be the result of wanting to be perceived favorably to obtain that love and security (Meyers 565-566). In Supernatural, regression occurs in the episode “Dead in the Water” as a result of Dean regressing in his development by becoming mute after the death of his mother to avoid as much anxiety surrounding the and to avoid becoming a burden to his father by having to take care of his emotional needs. Repression also ties into this with Dean avoiding and repressing what happened to his mother by not talking about it with not having the luxury to talk about this major change in his life due to him having to fulfill those needs for his father (Meyers 557-563).

In the episode “A Very Supernatural Christmas,” Sam and Dean investigate a series of murders that involve people being dragged through the chimney with hardly a trace left behind. In the season this episode is in, Dean sells his soul to save his brother’s life. This causes him to want to celebrate one last Christmas before his soul is dragged all the way to Hell by the hellhounds. Throughout this episode, flashbacks of Sam and Dean celebrating Christmas when they were children occur and contradict the Norman Rockwell Christmas Dean dreams of having as a last hurrah. Due to John’s neglect, both Sam and Dean were never granted the commercialized Christmas, but made do on their own (“A Very Supernatural Christmas”). This is also due to Sam and dean living in poverty. Evidence has proven that poverty is related to child abuse and neglect. The effects of poverty can also be transferred to children in that situation due to it affecting their parents and caretakers. Fathers in families affected by poverty tend to be less emotionally involved in their children’s lives, which can have a drastic effect to be much worse with the greater persistence of poverty (Leverich 72-74) This affects Dean and his brother with their father being more emotionally distant and physically distant from them. This also affects them with not being provided with adequate living conditions with living in ran down motels and the backseat of their father’s car when heading to the next hunt. Their living conditions have also lacked with them being able to access nutritional food and also hardly any food at some times.

Childhood trauma is the result of experiencing either different forms of abuse or living through a traumatic event. Exposure to such things can constitute in the child’s developmental level being affected and cause them to experience problems. Such problems this can cause is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Loggings). PTSD is an anxiety disorder that is triggered by traumatic events reoccurrence in the mind, which can cause people to have nightmares, be socially withdrawn, jumpy, anxious, feel numb, or have insomnia that is recurrent for four weeks or more after the inciting event to the trauma (Meyers 664).

In Supernatural, Dean experiences the loss of his mother due to mysterious causes and circumstances in the episode “Pilot,” but his response to her death and how it affected him is not brought up until “Dead in the Water.” Dean’s response to her passing away was to close himself off from everyone he knew by not communicating in any way with others, including his brother and his father. This lack of social interaction that was unusual compared to before her death signifies a disturbance that causes daily functioning to be more difficult for him. The disturbance of behavior in his daily life then, displays a psychological disorder from the interruption it causes him in his life to experience (Meyers 651). Dean most likely experiences PTSD due to the event and things surrounding it making him irritable and jumpy as seen in “Home.” In “Home,” Sam and Dean visit the place where they grew up and the place where they lost their mother because Sam had a vision in which another woman died in what used to be their home. Dean is reluctant to go back with the events that took place the last time they were there, and he tries to avoid anything he possibly could relating to his mother and the house while still trying to help the woman that could be doomed to face the same fate his mother had. When around the house and when taking about his mother, he is jumpy and wants to move on from the subject and leave the place as soon as he can. This makes it more likely that he has PTSD rather than another anxiety disorder because his trigger is specific and rather than general like most anxiety disorders.

Adolescence

The inadequacy Dean feels from his father’s abuse in his early childhood builds in this stage of his life. In Beyond Bruises: The Truth about Teens and Abuse, children that experience abuse begin to believe the remarks they hear from their parental figures and soon come to feel like they are inadequate. Due to this, children begin to see themselves as their abuser sees them instead of understanding what they are like and how they feel themselves. When this happens children may make up a false persona to distract from what happened to them and to get some fulfillment that they are not receiving at home (Gordon 63). In the episode “After School Special,” Sam and Dean return to Truman High School, one of the many schools mentioned in flashbacks throughout the series with their nomadic lifestyle surrounded by hunting, to work a case after a student drowns another student and claims she was possessed and did not have control over her body when the drowning occurred. The brothers go undercover as school employees to discover the ghost of Sam’s bully at the school has been terrorizing the school. Business as usual, they purify and burn the remains for the spirit to pass on. During the flashbacks from this episode, Dean in his time at that high school portrayed himself as a womanizer and has his fair share of girls while he attends that school, and is even called out by one of the girls he wronged about who he actually is rather that who he portrays himself to be (“After School Special”). This “bad boy” and “Devil may care” attitude of his continues to be present well into his adult years to cover up what he feels and hide his vulnerability from the people he cares about. Due to the nomadic lifestyle Dean and his family lived, the emphasis of school from a parent was not set in place and caused him to not even try, knowing that he would be gone in a couple of weeks or months. Along with the lack of emphasis in education, he was more likely to be concerned about Sam’s wellbeing since he was the one taking care of his needs most of the time when John was preoccupied with a hunt and in general (Gordon 63).

In the episode “Bad Boys,” Dean received a call from an old friend, Sonny, who helped him out during a tough time when he was a teenager. Sonny calls Dean looking for someone to help with his current situation when one of his workers at the boys’ home was mysteriously murdered by a piece of machinery that had not worked in years. When Dean returns to the place he stayed at and called his home for a few months, he begins to remember his time there and how he got there in the first place when he was picked up for shoplifting a loaf of bread and peanut butter at the market. Due to the abuse in Dean’s early childhood, he was more prone to shop lifting and committing a crime later in his juvenile years from the likelihood of children that have experienced abuse committing a crime increasing by fifty-nine percent (Gordon 71).

Adulthood

The trauma and abuse that Dean Winchester experienced in his childhood affected the relationships he formed as an adult, his self-image, and his mental health. Throughout the series Dean is often clingy to those around him, especially his father and brother, from wanting to seek the validation and acceptance he was hardly ever granted as a child and was instead given the opposite from his father. This is also due to Sam and John being the most consistent things in his life because of their nomadic lifestyle and them being the closest representations of a home that he had growing up and into most of his adulthood. When his father, John, would fulfill his emotional needs, it would be to work for his own personal gain while he was off seeking to avenge his wife’s death, but berating Dean the second he made the smallest mistake or attempted to be a kid. The back-and-forth relationship John had with his son caused Dean to not feel secure in any of his romantic or familial relationships from thinking that everyone would eventually leave him once they realized he was damaged goods. This resulted Dean to grow more colder and attempt to push people away from himself before they realized this, so he would no longer be the one ending up hurt anymore. He also kept the womanizer persona he established during his teen years while engaging in high-risk behavior such as drinking copious amounts of alcohol and having unprotected sex with most flings, he has had throughout most of the seasons in the show as a distraction and coping mechanism for the abuse and neglect he received in his childhood. Having experienced abuse and neglect, Dean was more susceptible to engage in high-risk behaviors like this and more prone to have stress, anxiety, and emotional issues throughout his life (“How Childhood Trauma Affects Us as Adults: Mental Health”).

In adulthood, Dean continues to struggle with the trauma, abuse, and neglect from his childhood and adolescent years. There are multiple reasons this occurs with him being parentified at such an early age by his parents to fulfill their own emotional needs and to take care of his brother and coping with the loss of his mother and the effects it her death had on his father in his early childhood. Also, experiencing neglect and abuse from his father that occurred in his early childhood and adolescence caused him to have long lasting effects into his adulthood from the emotional baggage he has had to deal with.

Works Cited

“After School Special.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 4, episode 13, The CW, 2009.

“A Very Supernatural Christmas” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 4, episode 8, The CW, 2007.

“Bad Boys.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 9, episode 7, The CW, 2013.

“Dark Side of the Moon.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 5, episode 16, The CW, 2010.

“Dead in the Water.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 1, episode 3, The WB, 2005.

“How Childhood Trauma Affects Us as Adults: Mental Health.” Mental Health Center, 3 Apr. 2019, https://www.mentalhealthcenter.org/how-childhood-trauma-affects-adult-relationships/.

Gordon, Sherri Mabry. Beyond Bruises: The Truth about Teens and Abuse. Enslow, 2009.

“Home.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 1, episode 9, The WB, 2005.

“In My Time of Dying.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 2, episode 1, The CW, 2006.

Leverich, Jean Marie. Child Abuse. Greenhaven Press, 2008.

Lewis, Rhona. “Parentification: What Is a Parentified Child?” Healthline, Healthline Media, 23 Sept. 2021, https://www.healthline.com/health/parentification#instrumental-vs-emotional.

Loggins, Brittany. “Childhood Trauma in Adults: How to Recognize and Heal from It.” Verywell Mind, Verywell Mind, 23 Nov. 2021, https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-childhood-trauma-in-adults-5207979.

Myers, David G. Myers’ Psychology for AP. 2nd ed., W.H. Freeman, 2014.

“Pilot.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 1, episode 1, The WB, 2005.

Rome, Emily. “'Supernatural' and 'Timeless' Creator Eric Kripke Details the Real-Life Inspirations behind His Fantasy Series.” Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times, 19 Dec.2018, https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/movies/la-et-st-eric-kripke-timeless-20181219 story.html#:~:text=He%20cites%20Jack%20Kerouac%20and,chase%20reports%20of%20 paranormal%20occurrences.

“Something Wicked.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 1, episode 18, The WB, 2005.

“Supernatural.” IMDb, IMDb.com, 13 Sept. 2005, https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460681/?ref_=adv_li_tt.

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #mental health #mental illness #trauma #verbal abuse #emotional abuse #neglect #parentification #parentified child

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sammyluvr · 29 days ago

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(Do Not get tipsy and think about sam it will ruin ur life)

Thinking about a young sam shoving a tattered motel room bible into his bag after a particularly bad case. Thinking about him running his hands over the cover to self sooth after a huge fight or after helping tend to John and Dean's wounds from a hunt. he has no reason to have faith after what he's seen, but it helps other people right? So he thinks maybe it could help him too.

thinking about a stanford sam who runs his fingers over the time-worn leather spine while he studies. A Stanford sam who tries to stay out of his old life, but who occasionally reads the news and mutters to saint hubert for dean's sake.

Thinking about show cannon sam who tells dean he "prays every day" and "has for a long time." The same sam who feels so honored to meet an angel in s4.

We see Sam say some type of prayer 10 times throughout the series (and once off screen in 8x23) the sam winchester, one true vessel for lucifer, who prays to castiel and Jack and god (who he's not even sure is out there) for help

thinking about a late seasons sam who's spent his life fighting angels, demons, devils, and gods. who helped defeat god and who's adopted son took that god's place. thinking about sam sitting at his desk and taking his old bible out of the drawer, examining the frayed yellowed pages, feeling every scuff and ridge the cover has to offer, and no longer being burdened to face its contents.

I like to think of a sam who holds it and no longer sees a symbol of doomed fate, but a symbol of all he has overcome. A sam who puts in back in the drawer and shuts it in, because with the life and family he has around him, he doesn't think he really needs it anymore

OH GOD. OH GOD OH GODDDDDDDD . making out with your brain right now.... oh god T_T this hurt. this really hurt man :,) in the best way ever actually

it was so fascinating to read this coming from a christian background/religious trauma. like my reaction was so visceral, this is a personal anecdote but i didn't want to like it because of the concept of using the bible for comfort. but wowowow i'm obsessed because UGH i can't.... the way that sam interacts with christianity is just fascinating, it comes from a place of guilt and a desperation to be clean and pure, rather than blind faith or blind belief in god/whatever it is about the way that some people interact with christianity that bothers me LOL

god... him praying to saint hubert for dean's sake is a detail that is SO IMPORTANT TO MEEEE

and the way you ended it T_T is so very perfect to me, it felt like the perfect closure actually. the bible as a symbol of everything he's overcome... goosebumps, seriously. that's everything to me. god i wish i had and intelligent response to this lmao but you said it all perfectly. i love your brain so much wowowowow <3

i feel like he has this desperation to be good, but he feels like he isn't, and that it's his fault. for him to "no longer being burdened to face its contents" or feel like he doesn't need it anymore :(( that feels so hopeful to me i guess, that he now knows, years later, that the things that made him "unclean" or "not good" weren't his fault. that he tried and that makes a difference. that cleanliness and purity and perfection are not parts of the condition of being. it matters that he's trying.

#bro idk i don't think anything i just said makes any sense #but that does not matter this is my new favorite thing in the world and i loved it so much #i do apologize that i have trouble separating my own religious experience with this LOL #we're talking about sam not me T_T lmao #. >> asks !#. >> lovely anons !#. >> sammy !

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cowboysanddragons23 · 2 months ago

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Michael and Lucifer are dark mirrors of Dean and Sam:

-Michael and Dean: Both are the older brothers who are fiercely loyal to their absent fathers (God and John) and raised their younger brothers (Lucifer and Sam), with Michael openly admitting that "I practically raised him. I took care of him in a way most people could never understand." And both fought with said younger brothers, yet did not kill them. Both have also validation issues and are obsessed with winning their father's approval, believing themselves to be the unfavourite and desperate to prove that they are good sons. Both have also aggressively categoristic tendencies (Michael with humans, demons and monsters, Dean with supernatural beings) yet they end up befriending those same beings (Dean befriends Castiel and Benny, Michael befriends Adam). The main difference is that Dean eventually let go of that need for paternal validation and not only refuses to hurt innocent people, but also believes in free will and refuses to kill Sam, even when John ordered him too. Michael never outgrew his need for parental approval and gave up on free will and was willing to murder Lucifer because God ordered him to and he ended up betraying Team Free Will just to get God's approval, which ends up on his death.

-Lucifer and Sam: Both are the rebellious younger brothers who constantly questioned their fathers' plan and argued with them. Both have also issues with anger, ruthlessness, pride, ego and arrogance (Lucifer killing pagan gods because they plotted against him, Sam killing Lilith because she murdered Dean), yet they are desperate to prove that they were right. Both were also called freaks and were essentially casted out from their homes by their fathers. Both also act as parental figures to Jack and despite the resentment towards their fathers, they resemble said fathers the most. The main difference between them is that Lucifer rebelled because he was throwing a tantrum because he was no longer God's favourite kid anymore and views Jack as an extension of himself, not as a real person, only caring about himself and refuses to acknowledge his faults, Sam rebelled out of a genuine resentment of his lack of a stable family life and is willing to atone and take responsibility for his actions, while genuinely caring about Jack as a person.

#supernatural #dean winchester #michael #lucifer #sam winchester

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alfalfapie · 1 year ago

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Trick or Treat

So maybe they were being a little over the top about this. On second thought, they were being WAY over the top on this. Not that he cared. See, growing up, Halloween had never been Dean's favorite time of year. It simply reminded him of how different he was from other kids. Other kids didn't know that the things they dressed up as were real. That ghosts, vampires, and werewolves could strike at any moment, ESPECIALLY on October 31st. So instead of running around a cul-de-sac begging strangers for candy, Dean had to watch his little brother in some rundown motel while John went and caught the monster of the week. And once Sammy got old enough to know what Halloween was, all night would just be filled with him whining to know why they weren't allowed to trick-or-treat like the other kids. The only time they ever got to go was when Dean was 10 and they were staying at Bobby's. Sammy ate so many Reese's cups he was up half the night sick, so it wasn't that much fun anyways. But this year was different. Cas was back from the Empty, Jack had reverted to a body that looked more like he actually was born in 2017, and everyone he loved was living under one stable roof. Plus, he and Cas had just adopted a baby girl, coincidentally named Charlie. She was just over 9 months old and was already the light of Dean's life. And Dean had big plans for her first Halloween. Charlie was not going to grow up hating Halloween like he did. She was going to dress up as whatever the hell she wanted, eat as much candy as she wanted (preferably less than 6 year old Sammy), and enjoy Halloween. But for now, she couldn't do any of that. So they were going to do the next best thing. Cas had seen a Tiktok of a mom carving a big pumpkin to serve as a baby seat. So, when they went out grocery shopping that week, they HAD to get a pumpkin to try it out. They spent an embarrassingly long time measuring pumpkins against their 9-month-old until they found the perfect gourd. When they got home, Jack already had his Halloween costume on (it was a Batman kit from Amazon and he'd refused to take it off ever since it had arrived), so it was the perfect time for a little Halloween festivities. Cas started carving the pumpkin while Dean went to go put baby Charlie in her costume. It was a simple orange onesie with a pumpkin hat, but it took longer than he'd like to admit to get it on. Charlie was particularly bothered by the elastic that attached the hat to her head, so it took a little coaxing to get her to leave it alone (he may or may not have started singing monster mash in an effort to calm her down). By the time Dean carried Charlie back into the main room, Cas was almost done with the pumpkin chair. Jack was helping (at least he said he was, but "helping" looked an awful lot like playing with the pumpkin guts). Miracle came running up to him, and it looked like someone had already put her in her Robin costume. Her little green eye mask was impressively staying put (Dean later found out Sam had spelled it on). Miracle barked at Dean, obviously annoyed to have her costume on, but Dean just patted her head and walked over to the map table. "It looks great," Dean said, wrapping his free arm around Cas's waist. "You almost ready for the picture?" Cas turned the pumpkin to face Dean, proudly displaying his handiwork. "Let's do this." In the end, it took almost an HOUR to get the pictures taken. Either Miracle was running off, Jack was fidgeting, or Charlie was crying. And trying to get all three of them to look in the same direction was a fool's errand. But once Charlie was down for a nap and Jack was playing with his trucks, Cas and Dean took some time to look at their camera roll. And it was exactly what Dean had wanted; Charlie and Jack were both smiling, blissfully unaware that Halloween could be something bad. They both looked happy, and that was all he could ever ask for. Happy Halloween, y'all. :)

#destiel fluff #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #destiel #dean and cas #castiel #deancas #dean x castiel #halloween #happy halloweeeeeeen #happy halloween #trick or treat

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dotlookstired · 5 months ago

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Third update on my Supernatural/Vampire chronicles crossover

"I can’t believe we fell for that!" Dean angrily shouted as he stomped down the stairs into the bunker, with Sam following closely. "What happened to you guys?" Cas asked in his usual monotone gravelly voice.

"We are idiots! And next time I see those asshats, they are going down!" Dean shouted in response as he stormed into the kitchen, presumably to grab a beer. Sam explained the situation to Cas and Jack, who had joined them at the library table.

“Why didn't you guys tell me? I would have been happy to help,” Cas asked.

Sam hesitated, unsure what to tell the angel. Just as things were about to get awkward, Dean walked in. “Because we don’t have to tell you every little thing we do,” Dean lied.

Cas was taken aback by this sudden cold response from Dean but figured he was still probably agitated about what happened at the grocery store, so he chose to let it go.

“Alright then. But it sounds to me like they are completely aware of what you’re doing,” Cas told the brothers.

“How could they possibly know? We’ve never had this issue with other vampires,” Sam replied.

“That’s not true. The Alpha vampire knew what you were up to, and he could also read minds. Maybe these ones can as well,” Cas stated.

“Yes, but only the Alpha could do that, and he’s dead,” Dean sighed in annoyance. “We don’t know for sure yet if they’re even vampires or if they even had anything to do with the missing people,” Sam announced in annoyance.

“They climbed through a bathroom window. People who are innocent don’t run away through bathroom windows,” Dean shouted in frustration.

“You and Sam climb through lots of windows,” Jack pointed out.

“This doesn’t concern you,” Dean sneered at the Nephilim.

“I understand you’re stressed, Dean, but you don’t need to take it out on Jack,” Cas warned.

“For fuck’s sake, Cas, of course I’m stressed! We’ve got a stray Leviathan running around, pancake-eating vampires, a whole list of missing people, and now the weird freaky hybrid child is trying to involve himself!” Dean exclaimed.

Sam was feeling awkward just sitting there witnessing the argument, so he beckoned Jack to follow him into a different room. But Cas grabbed Jack as they were making their escape and held him by the shirt sleeve.

“Jack is my son, Dean, and if you love me, you will learn to love him!” Cas shouted. “Now, I can temporarily make it so the suspected vampires can’t detect you for a little over a week, but it’s going to take a lot of power. So, you and Jack will spend some time together spying on the vampires, and Sam and I will track down the Leviathan,” Cas said before reaching out and touching Dean and Jack's foreheads, using his powers.

“I am not going hunting with Lucifer's child!” Dean stated firmly.

“Lucifer stole his powers and ran off to Chuck knows where. Jack is my son! And it’s not like your father was a saint either, Dean,” Cas said in a serious tone.

Dean went quiet. “How dare you, Cas!” he shouted.

“You're pissed because you know it’s true,” Cas calmly replied.

“He wasn’t perfect, but he wasn’t the fucking devil!” Dean yelled.

“By human standards, both of your parents were flawed, but if anyone ever treated my son the way John treated you and Sam, they’d get an Angel blade straight through the chest,” Cas growled.

“Fuck you, Cas,” Dean bitterly said.

Cas gripped Jack's sleeve harder and shouted, “I can’t do this anymore, Dean! I gave everything up for you, I sacrificed so much, and I just can’t handle it anymore! I’m leaving. I'm going to stay with my brother!”

“What brother? All your siblings are either dead or hate you!” Dean shouted.

“And whose fault is that, Dean?” Cas said with a sad, almost crazy laugh.

Dean said nothing. “Goodbye, Dean,” Cas said before summoning his shadowy wings. Jack began to struggle to get out of Cas’s grip. As Cas took off, Jack managed to free himself. With tears streaming down his face, the boy ran into Sam's arms.

Cas appeared alone in a forest, in front of the dilapidated ruins of an old cabin. Confused that Jack wasn’t with him, he couldn't sense the boy anywhere in the universe, so he assumed he was still in the bunker with Sam. He trusted Sam enough to care for his son and protect him while he got things situated in what would now be their new home.

He walked up to what was left of the rotting wooden door and knocked to the Casa Erotica theme song. Gabriel appeared on the other side. “Cas!” he happily exclaimed, before becoming serious and glancing around their surroundings in paranoia. “What's the emergency?” he asked.

“I got into an argument with Dean,” Cas plainly stated.

Gabriel dramatically sighed and facepalmed. “Castiel, I told you how to find me for emergencies. A squabble between you and that fool is not an emergency,” Gabriel said in an annoyed tone.

Cas looked ashamed for a second. “I know, but I want to move out of the bunker, and I couldn’t think of anywhere safer for me and Jack to stay,” he pleaded.

Gabriel’s expression of annoyance turned into one of realization. “Wow, it must have been a pretty bad argument if you’re this serious,” Gabriel said in amazement.

Cas just nodded and started to tear up. “Aw, Cas, it’s going to be okay. I’ll take care of you and the kid,” Gabriel said before pulling Cas into a hug.

“Thank you,” Cas replied.

Gabriel rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. “Would it make you feel better if I were to smite him?” Gabriel softly asked.

Cas let out a sad laugh and shook his head.

During the rest of the week, Sam spent most of his time with Jack, who was so upset he wound up sleeping in Sam's room. The Nephilim felt like it was his fault that Dean and Cas were not getting along, but Sam assured him it wasn't. Dean spent that time mostly getting drunk in his room.

At the end of the week, Dean approached Sam. “Get ready to go. We’re going to continue following those bastards,” he ordered.

“I don’t think that's a good idea. I think we should test Cas’s theory about them not being normal vampires,” Sam calmly replied.

“I am not taking the kid,” Dean angrily whispered so Jack wouldn't hear.

“Yes, you will, and you're going to at least apologize for arguing with Cas in front of him. And you're also going to explain that it’s not his fault you and Cas aren't getting along,” Sam demanded.

“First of all, it’s more than just not getting along. Cas and I are over. Second, it is Jack's fault. If he didn’t exist, everything would be just fine,” Dean yelled.

Sam calmly shut his laptop, walked up to his brother, and punched him in the face, knocking him to the floor. Sam bent down, grabbed Dean by his shirt collar. “Was it your fault when Mom and Dad stopped getting along, huh? I’m sure having us stressed them out. And if I didn’t exist, Mom would have never been killed. But none of it was our fault. You didn’t ask to be born and be caught in the middle of their arguing, and I didn’t ask to be born only so a yellow-eyed asshole could fuck with me,” Sam angrily said before letting go of his brother, standing up, and going back to his laptop.

Dean stayed on the floor, completely stunned. He was mad, but also, Sam had quite literally knocked some sense into him. He laid there and thought about what Sam had said and then what Cas had said. He decided they were right. None of any of this was the kid's fault. He didn’t ask for any of this.

Eventually, he got up and walked over to Sam. “Jack and I are going to follow the vampires,” he said plainly.

Sam nodded. “Yes, and you’re going to apologize to him. And if you find out they are vampires, you’re going to call me before you do anything, right?” Sam told him.

Dean just nodded.

“Thank you. Here, take this,” Sam said as he handed Dean a shiny metal coin-like thing.

“What is it?” Dean mumbled.

“It’s an AirTag, a tracking device. I figured it might be useful for this,” Sam replied.

Dean put it in his pocket and headed down the halls to get Jack. On the ride to town, Jack was quietly sitting with his hands in his lap, chewing a piece of gum, clearly uncomfortable. Dean awkwardly cleared his throat. “Um, I just wanted to apologize for what happened.”

“It’s okay. I understand why you hate me,” Jack sadly replied.

Dean was so caught by surprise he dropped the cassette he was about to play and nearly lost control of the car. “No, it’s not okay. I don’t hate you. Although I can definitely see why you’d think I do, with how much of an ass I've been. I'm sorry for that. And it’s not your fault your biological dad is a crazy asshole, and it’s not your fault Cas and I got into an argument. You didn’t ask for any of this shit, and I'm just sorry about everything,” Dean sighed.

Jack seemed to relax a bit. “Thanks, Dean,” he said.

Dean parked the car in a secluded area. He and Jack walked into the middle of town and waited. Eventually, Armand wandered past, completely unaware he was being watched. Dean and Jack inconspicuously tailed him around town all night. He didn’t do anything suspicious, until from around an alley corner, Dean and Jack saw him stop, pull out his phone, and dial a number.

“Hello, Daniel, I'm about to head home. Do you need anything while I'm in town?” the auburn-haired boy asked.

“Okay, I’ll be home soon then. No, I haven’t seen our stalkers. I haven’t seen them in a while. I think they gave up,” he said with a laugh before hanging up and calling an Uber.

“Shit, the Impala’s all the way on the other side of town. How are we going to follow him?” Dean said.

“Did Sam give you that AirTag he bought?” Jack asked.

“Oh yeah, but he’ll recognize me if I get too close to the car, and I have nothing to attach it with,” Dean said as the Uber pulled up.

“Give it to me. He’s never seen me before,” Jack said, holding his hand out.

Dean hesitantly gave the kid the tracking device. Jack pulled the piece of gum out of his mouth and stuck it to the device before casually rounding the corner of the alley. Dean watched as Jack casually walked past the Uber and stuck it to the outer corner of the car's trunk right before the car drove off. Dean felt a bit proud of the boy.

“Good job!” he excitedly told him before high-fiving him. Jack smiled, happy he was able to be useful.

“Do you know how to use that thing to find their location?” Dean asked.

Jack nodded and pulled out his phone. They watched as the car drove toward the lake. Eventually, it stopped moving at one of the houses on the more secluded far end of the lake before turning around and coming back to town.

“We’ve got you now,” Dean laughed.

Daniel had just finished typing up the first draft of the first chapter of his new story. As he leaned back in his chair to stretch, he took a look around to admire the cozy little workroom that he and Armand had made together in the attic of the little lake house they had purchased.

Daniel didn't have much of an aesthetic sense, but he knew he wanted it to be a warm, comfortable space. With that information in mind, Armand had gone through Pinterest and made a board of rooms and furniture Daniel might like. He then found items similar to the aesthetics in pictures from various places around New York and had them delivered to the lake house. However, something a lot of the pictures had in common that Armand had really taken a liking to was fairy lights. He had bought a few different types: some shaped like stars, some like the moon, and some like the sun. They had strung them from the rafters of the attic, which only added to the cozy and almost magical atmosphere of the room.

The rest is on my ao3

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chuckwon · 2 years ago

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"They didn’t miraculously outsmart Chuck. It’s all his plan that unfolds like a magic trick, and it works. He takes away everything and everyone else in the world, ensuring that the one course of action left– his planned course of action–is the one that the brothers will take. They forget the power of their free will and feel they have no other choice.

Jack’s sacrifice is completed as he supposedly becomes the 'new God,' but he actually 'dies.' As he told Cas in 15x15, 'God and Amara will cease to exist, and I won’t survive,' and that’s still exactly what happens.

. . . This is where the rest comes in: regardless of the mechanics of the plot’s specifics in 15x19–whether Jack is literally dead, simply caged in his own mind as Chuck uses him as a vessel, altered/corrupted by the God powers within him, or some similar variation–Chuck’s influence remains. Chuck deliberately removes himself from the story, but nothing of significance changes, either in the structure of the universe he created or in the brothers’ lives. And not only does Chuck get the ending he orchestrated in regards to Jack, but his ending for the story also punishes the Winchesters shortly thereafter."

–THE HOW: Chuck’s Method of Victory

Deeply apologize for insufferably quoting my own meta, but it's for the sake of expediency because I just want to put this thought / clarification out there right now and I've only got a few minutes!

(Standard disclaimer that I'm speaking from solely my perspective on the mechanics of a potential "Chuck won" plotline, aka I do not have a monopoly on this analysis or theory and others are free to disagree with my POV. The fact that I have this blog does not mean I'm positioning myself as an Authority on the matter.)

In terms of the plot (as in the literal things and not the metaphorical)... the idea that Chuck won is not beholden to the idea that the way to convey that concept or run with must literally include Chuck being inside of Jack's body. That's one possibility, and it just happens to be one that I tend to gravitate to when imagining potential for storylines. But the exact “method” if you will has several options. Maybe Chuck took over Jack, or maybe he knew the God power would corrupt Jack, or so on and so forth.

The idea of Chuck winning (in terms of the literal events) is essentially that...

A) God power should not have personhood. The fact that it does at the "end" of the story is inherently a problem based on everything the Supernatural universe has put forth thematically, literally right up until the end in 15x17.

B) What happens to Jack–him becoming the "new god"–isn’t okay. It's awful and it was Chuck’s plan or aim all along as part of the "Abraham & Isaac" ending he desired: the father sacrificing his own son.

C) Therefore, Jack needs saving (in some fashion) through his family making it clear that he’s loved for who he is not what he is, and that he never needed to prove himself or earn their forgiveness. By "his family" I specifically mean Sam and Dean, as they are the ones who unintentionally sacrificed Jack. Or, to reference SPNWIN 1x06,

"So you had a friend stuck in a cycle of violence, and instead of helping him, you wielded him like some kind of weapon?"

Sam and Dean needed to have told Jack something along the lines of what Mary tells John in that episode:

"I still want to get out of hunting. I really do. But it's not gonna be at your expense."

D) What happens to Jack–WHATEVER the specifics–embodies the cycles of violence on the micro and macro levels. He is a son who is burdened with the expectations of his fathers. He is also the grandson of Chuck/God and in the end he could not escape the fate of becoming him.

Sam and Dean may not have meant to “kill” Jack, but they did anyway between 15x17 and 15x19 because Jack was sacrificed on the altar of their hopes, struggles, and expectations. It plays right into Chuck’s favorite themes and ideal ending. In Chuck’s words from 14x20, it’s “the father killing his own son,” otherwise known as “Abraham and Issac.”

Jack’s sacrifice fits perfectly into an unbroken cycle of violence that Chuck embodied and that was embedded into the DNA of Supernatural as a story from day one. Breaking that cycle once and for all was the only avenue to true victory, but in the end, the cycle remains intact. In-narrative and out-of-narrative, the story and characters were not allowed to fully grow beyond it —which is why it’s important to understand the breadth of these themes in order to understand the reasoning behind the writing of Chuck’s canonical victory.

How the future authors or any future sequel may or may not run with all of this in terms of a plot–is Chuck using Jack as a vessel, and if so, is Jack alive or dead? Or is Chuck not involved and this is a consequence he left behind as part of the tragedy, and the God power itself corrupting Jack and he has to be convinced into giving it up? etc.–the baseline idea is the same.

My point in bringing this up is that "something's wrong with Jack"–which I think many people are picking up on anew in the SPNWIN finale–is enough to be getting on with :)

#I wrote this soooo fast I hope it makes sense #the winchesters #spnwin #the winchesters meta #spnwin meta #chuck won theory #chuck won meta #jack kline #my meta

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wigglebox · 2 years ago

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Thoughts on the SPNWIN Finale

Okay so I’m gonna divide this into two parts: Implications for the future of where this show will go, and then implications for a potential continuation.

**This is me writing after only seeing the episode once and then popping through here and there to try and remember things, but I may mis-remember or misinterpret but I wanna get these first thoughts out of the way!**

First off, just to quickly summarize my thoughts at the top: I really loved it.

They had a hard hand dealt with this show, which is, only 13 episodes and no promise of a season 2. Because of that, they had to write it in a way that both closed this season but kept the door cracked open for more season. It’s a very very hard balance to do, but I think they still did it.

To me, I have a lot of questions, but I LIKE having questions because that draws me back for season 2. And, if done properly, it can also lure people into the continuation.

Implications for the future of SPNWIN

This episode was a whirlwind so I apologize if I mis-remember anything!

I think the key thing that I took away from this in terms of future potential was the journal. They have Dean’s journal in the sense that Dean and Sam had John’s journal.

John and Mary take off in the end but I have no doubt in my mind Lata, Carlos, and Ada will all come back and play a part some how as well.

Which, by the way, the fact that this Carlos was THEE Carlos that was referenced in a Robbie episode a million years ago is so amazing, idk why. Robbie you madman!

But, now we more or less have the confirmation that this isn’t truly our world, however we are going to be sticking with these characters in the future. Therefore, I don’t know if that means they’ll be universe hopping too, I don’t know if it means they’ll uncover more mysteries from Dean’s journal? I think that’s likely. I also think that will be fun.

I also ALSO think that will provide more world building for the continuation, like this season already did.

There is the obvious issue in the room of that being there were only 13 episodes and this may have felt more like a mid-season finale rather than a finale, however not being promised a season 2 has had to have been thee most annoying thing to write around.

But, for a first season, it set up some solid base foundation work for them to continue to explore more stories while also not screwing around with canon.

There are still questions I want answered and who knows when or if they’ll ever be answered. The biggest one, however, is what on earth is in that journal?

I have more questions but I need to rewatch the show to form them so they’ll be in a follow up post most likely.

Another question I have is: Was that really Dean from start to finish? The hair is the biggest thing for me bc J finished filming Big Sky and there was no reason not to cut it, or use a wig of some kind [lol]. But also in general it felt different a little bit. Like it’s still him but also it didn’t feel like him from the pilot and from the photos we were seeing. But it really may well be him all along! I imagine that’s part of the mystery.

I don’t think we’ll see him again, or if we do, it’s not going to be the same version. I think he served as a launching point. Several friends have made this point already but basically he laid the foundation for all this multi-verse stuff and now the kiddos are on their own and there’s a lottttt to explore.

Again, I have to rewatch in order to fully form my thoughts on the future for the show.

My question is gonna be basically are they going to explore different universes? And, how, if Chuck kinda offed all of them? But I’m okay with my questions for now because I like to go with the flow of the show. I don’t want to figure everything out right now.

Implications for a SPN Continuation

I’ll talk about this first since I have some frens who were disappointed that 1) Cas wasn’t with Jack and Bobby and 2) Cas wasn’t mentioned.

If you’re new around here, then I’ll cut to the chase now: I am a full on “Cas Is Not In Heaven” believer. There are several reasons why. I am also a “Chuck Won” and “Jack is Chuck” believer. Also several reasons why.

I don’t believe Cas is in Heaven because they never showed him getting there. “Well Jack got him out of The Empty,” is one of those things that I’ll believe it when I see it, because otherwise, it’s too shady for me. Cas was last taken, alive, to an Empty where everything else was awake and alive and taken on behalf of a deal, not because he died. The Empty has wanted Cas for a while, and has been pissed that he’s gotten out. Cas is a PRIZE for The Empty so I don’t really see it giving up Cas any time soon for any particular reason.

Especially if that reason is Jack.

I don’t believe The Empty likes Jack either, especially after their last interaction being so bad (Jack exploding in The Empty, waking everything up). I don’t feel like The Empty is willing to do any favors for him.

God isn’t supposed to be able to influence The Empty but I think, since Lilith and Lucifer were brought down, that Chuck and The Empty had an arrangement. And from 15x18 to 15x20 I had literally no reason to believe that Cas, a threat to Chuck, would have been let go for any reason, even if Jack was “God” now.

It would have been sloppy story telling, in my opinon, if they tried to explain how Cas got into Heaven in such a short amount of time, and would have extremely taken away from the emotional magnitude of 15x18.

And that’s how I felt with 1x13 of The Winchesters.

If we had seen Cas I would have been upset, I think. Because again, there’s no explanation for him being there. If it wasn’t going to be a *wink wink nudge nudge* thing like “We’ll explain it in the continuation” then I didn’t want it.

The reason why I feel so passionate about this is beacuse of the Chuck Won theory. And because of that theory, and how Cas’ role evolved over time in Supernatural, I don’t believe Chuck can “recreate” Cas. Because Cas exists outside of Chuck’s narrative, and isn’t beholdened to Chuck, that means Chuck can’t reproduce Cas. It’s just never going to happen.

And I feel strongly about Chuck not being able to do that SPECIFICALLY because when all is said and done, I don’t EVER want Dean to look at Cas and wonder if he’s real or not (throwback to 15x02 anyone?).

Therefore, I did not want to see Cas in The Winchesters except for very very very specific ways that I knew deep down wouldn’t happen because this isn’t the show for that.

And I’m sorry I wish I could go along with the Cas in Heaven memes because they do make me laugh — but also the thought of him being there with no explanation and still not showing up makes me more sad than not.

And that’s another thing—

With 15x20, and no Cas, there had been conspiracy after conspiracy for the last two and a half years as to why, everywhere between network censorship to Misha secretly filming and then them not showing anything. I’m personally more inclined to believe a mixture of: Censorship (Dean can’t reciprocate so what’s the point) and a deliberate choice on behalf of Dabb. But that’s for a different post because this is already very very long.

But, him not being in the finale — while it fed into the Chuck Won theory — it also didn’t have enough stability to truly land on one theory or another because COVID restrictions were also blamed (in whatever manner people saw fit to blame it).

However, NOW — with Cas NOT showing up next to Jack and Bobby — even tho in 15x20 Bobby said that Cas helped Jack — was very LOUD to me.

So what does that imply, to me?

1) No Cas until they have the time and space to put the story and emotions into it that it deserves. AKA — since I’m a Cas Is In The Empty believer — A rescue, by Dean. Even Jackles at JIB11 said that he’d want to explore that. Both of them have expressed an interest in exploring a follow up to 15x18. They can’t do that in the season finale of a spin off show that hadn’t mentioned them virtually at all (apart from parallels) all season.

2) No Cas because Cas isn’t there. I’ll get into my “Jack isn’t Jack” thing in a second, but because there was also this choice not to have Cas there — once is a mistake, but twice? Now it’s starting something. Especially since this time, they DID have Jack there. It’s like they’re showing us a Cas-shaped puzzle piece missing. The piece may be missing but you can clearly see the hole and know what’s supposed to be there (kinda like Dean’s reciprocation!).

To me these are interesting storytelling tactics. And that’s what this is, storytelling.

I feel like maybe we lost the plot a little bit, we being The Fandom, in terms of long-term storytelling efforts.

Cas being in The Empty still really does open up a TON of plot ideas for a continuation. Is it sad he’s not with Dean right now? Absolutely. But I’d rather have them apart than have a flimsy, unexplained reunion just to have a reunion.

“They didn’t even mention Cas,” and yeah, maybe they could have, but as friends in Discord servers have pointed out, that also locks them into a story that they may not be able to tell so it’s better to keep it like how it was in 15x20 where Dean never spoke his name. That is, it adds to the uncanny valley of it all.

Jack isn’t Jack

Look at this lovely post. This reminds me of the first time I was ever exposed to Chuck Won, Chuck is Jack theory way back in ... I want to say December 2020. Someone had compared Jack’s clothes to Chuck’s, and here we are again.

Also these tags from @clarkenting

Jack didn’t feel like Jack. He hasn’t felt like Jack since 15x19.

I already freak out and ramble a lot about Chuck Won when it comes to Becky’s Notes in 15x04 about “no one even mentions Cas” and the line about rock music and the like. But another note she made was regarding the villain’s monologue at the end and how it kinda sucked. Jack had a monologue at the end. Jenny, in 15x20, said 8 words.

So Jack post-15x19 has always been suspicious to me! And last night was no different, especially since it’s the most Chuck Like he’s looked.

Also, another thing that got me, was the reference to Carry On (the Kansas song). It felt super duper pointed and not just an Easter Egg but like — hey this IMMEDIATELY reminds me of 15x20 and how Dean was like, weirdly, “I love this song!” a little too out of character in heaven as he began to drive off.

Dean’s favorite band isn’t Kansas, it’s Led Zeppelin.

Also, the reference felt like a fourth wall break, something that Chuck would do.

So no, I don’t believe that Jack was Jack last night. I’m sure if I go through the dialogue, which I plan to do lol, I’ll find even more reason to believe that.

Another thing that confused me was Bobby being there. Dean drove off, alone, and was continuously shown alone, throughout his drive. But BOBBY was there last night? Confused I am. But in the good way.

We know now that Baby can hope planes of existence so I really really hope she can hop into The Empty.

I’m someone who believes that Dean’s “Heaven” is in reality just The Empty. Or, as sometimes my friends will hear me call it, Chuck’s toy shelf. I am also someone who believes we DID see Chuck in 1x08 as part of the band and it wasn’t just a Rob cameo. Rob’s character has too much implication to just casually toss him in as a background character.

This is super duper long, and I apologize but also not really!

Some final thoughts (for now) (any follow up posts I make also will be under #spnwin thots):

I think this finale set up things for both a season 2 AND a continuation. I’ve been a contination believer since literally the SPN finale finished airing. At first it was a way to cope, but then it became a full blown belief for me the more and more first Jackles talked about it, and then the rest of the cast.

I’m really excited for season 2 of The Winchesters should it happen. I really hope it does. I personally believe it has a high chance of migrating to HBO Max for a home — and if that’s the case that’ll be awesome bc I also believe that’s where a continuation will go.

All of our favorites of the season will be in season 2 as well. We will see Carlos, Lata, Ada, Millie, Betty, Tony, etc. back. There are still questions about their characters too that we need answering. I’m still suspicious of Betty!

I liked that they contained this just enough for the finale just in case they don’t get a season 2, but still left dangling plot threads to catch for a season 2 (which felt very season 15 of SPN to me. In my eyes, they really did leave some things dangling for a continuation.)

What kind of potential world building will we get now that we know space and time is but an illusion, lol. I like the prequel being used to expand worlds more and expand the canon more, especially when it comes to hopping planes of existence.

Is The Empty really the big villain, or Chuck? I personally think so, and I personally think that this will help funnel some stuff into a continuation.

“What about Destiel” yes what about Destiel? That’s a continuation problem but one that I know Jackles and Dee and whoever else will be involved will ultimately tackle as well. I may have more faith and optimism than others, but that’s because I know from past experiences from SPN that I won’t be burned no matter what happens — so if you need me to clown for you, I can!

What about the Akrida? Do they just stop at this place? Why this particular storyline? What’s going on? We already have alternates to our own timeline that is the Akrida did not finish off our Men of Letters, Baby got into John’s hands via a car dealership (well, according to Chuck anyway), John didn’t know about hunting in our world, etc etc.

So what else is different? Will they see OUR world? Who is dead, who is alive? Is Chuck gonna send them to other places too?

Only time will tell I guess!

Time to light those manifestation candles for season 2 and a continuation!

#long post #very long post i'm so so SO. fucking sorry #spn #spnwin #spnwin spoilers #spnwin thots #spnwin finale #i wrote this all in a frenzy and before i could grab starbucks #and i'm running on 3 hours of sleep #so i apologize if i missed anything #again anything additional i wanna talk about will be under spnwin thots #walejaflwkejfw #time to go on areblog spree

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my-supernatural-rewatch · 17 days ago

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Episode 8: Bugs

Dean Winchester in the Supernatural episode Bugs

There are not enough words to describe how much I hate watching this episode.

It's actually a lot better an ep than I remembered, but I hate all the...you guessed it...bugs. (Even knowing they're fake. I lost count of how many times I closed my eyes while watching this episode.)

Dean and Sam investigate a new housing development where people are seemingly being killed by...ugh...bugs.

So this episode starts with something I wish we got to actually see more of on the show...Dean walks out of a barroom after making money hustling pool. I would love to have seen more of that. I know we got a few glimpses but I think it's such a good example of Dean honing a craft, becoming expert at it, and using it to survive.

And since Dean did this, of course Sam has to take issue with how he made his money. He complains about Dean making money hustling pool and with credit cars scams and suggests they get 'day jobs.'

Dean weighs the honest ways of money versus the easy and fun ways to make money and his happy with his life choices. "It's no contest."

"Besides, we're good at it. It's what we were raised to do."

Because God forbid John took a day job once in a while.

Sam admittedly has a great reponse, "Yeah, well how we were raised was jacked."

For once, Sammy, you aren't wrong. Dean, of course, disagrees.

"Says you."

Now as time goes on we'll find out Dean pretty much agrees with Sam but right now John looms heavy over Dean and he wouldn't dare say that to his younger brother.

As an aside, the beginning of this episode has Def Leppard's Rock of Ages playing (presumably in the bar?) and it is as of now the second time we hear this song just this season. We know it comes up again in season five and I'm wondering if we hear it again between now and then (I'm not spoiling it for myself by Googling it).

Oh and another aside that's been nagging at me since I am keeping track of when Dean wears John's jacket...where do they keep all their clothes? Granted, there probably aren't a lot of them but we know they aren't in the trunk because of all the weapons and shit they keep there...and we never see anything in the back seat...so where are the clothes? Where does Dean keep all his different jackets?

On the fly, Dean comes up with the idea to stop at an open house and talk to the people in the development to see what they can find out. (This is after they flipped a coin to see who went in the dirt hole the first dead guy was found in and Sam goes in even though Dean said he would. There are bugs. It is gross.)

As they approach the house, we get another glimpse into how the show wants us to think Dean feels about family-type communities such as the one they're currently in.

"Growing up in a place like this would freak me out." "The manicured lawns. 'How was your day, honey?' I'd blow my brains out."

Of course we find out Dean truly wanted some version of this both when he gets captured by the Djinn and when he's with Lisa....

But. I. Digress.

Sam protests by saying there's nothing wrong with normal and Dean responds with "I'd take our family over normal any day."

And I believe him to a certain extent. Dean has to believe that the way they were raised was the right way because if he doesn't what does that say about him...about his father? Dean isn't yet in a place to be thinking about this stuff too deeply.

We then get our first, but not last, instance of someone mistaking Sam and Dean for a couple instead of brothers when the real estate agent and guy who created the development assumes they are together and looking for a home.

Dean is the one who explains that they're brothers while Sam stands around with a goofy smile on his face.

Once they're in the backyard, where people are there mingling for this fancy schmancy open house, another realtor mistakes them fro a gay couple and Dean plays into it but calling Sam "honey" and slapping his ass.

This episode introduced me to steam showers and to this day I so fucking want one. Just like Dean.

Sam ends up bonding with the real estate agent's teenage son and doesn't even use his fake sympathy voice. Good for you, Sam!

Sam witnesses the kid's father being an overbearing jerk to his son and comments to Dean that he reminds him of John...to which Dean takes offense.

"Dad never treated us like that."

Sam points out that John never treated DEAN like that (which we find out to not be true but in fairness to Sam we also found out that for the most part Sam didn't know how badly Dean was treated by John).

"You were perfect. He was all over my case," Sam tells Dean.

"Maybe sometimes he had to raise his voice, but sometimes you were out of line." I don't believe for a minute that Dean really believs this but I do think that Dean has made himself believe this.

Sam gives the teen a bit of advice about his dad by telling him things will get better when he leaves home for college and is out of the house and away from his father and Dean is not impressed.

"What kind of advice is that? Kid should stick with his family."

This breaks my heart. It really does. Because Dean at this point truly thinks that sacrificing your own needs and your own dreams because of loyalty to your family is the right and only path.

The things Dean could have done had John not kept him under his thumb.

Random weirdness in the episode. About halfway through it, with no explanation, no discussion about it at all, Sam is driving the Impala.

Why, Dean, why?

The brothers get a lot of time in this episode to talk.

Here's the entire dialogue between them because it's too good to summarize:

Dean: Yeah, so with that kid back there...why'd you tell him to just ditch his family like that?

Sam: I know what the kid's going through.

Dean: How about telling him to respect his old man, how's that for advice?

Sam: Dean, come on. This isn't about his old man. You think I didn't respect Dad. That's what this is about.

Dean: Just forget it, all right? Sorry I brought it up.

Sam: I respected him. But no matter what I did, it was never good enough.

Dean: So what are you saying'? That Dad was disappointed in you?

Sam: Was? Is. Always has been.

Dean: Why would you think that?

Sam: Because I didn't want to bow hunt or hustle pool - because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which, to our whacked-out family, made me the freak.

Dean: Yeah, you were kind of like the blonde chick in The Munsters.

Sam: Dean, you know what most dads are when their kids score a full ride? Proud. Most dads don't toss their kids out of the house.

Dean: I remember that fight. In fact, I seem to recall a few choice phrases comin' out of your mouth.

Sam: You know, truth is, when we finally do find Dad...I don't know if he's even gonna wanna see me.

Dean: Sam, Dad was never disappointed in you. Never. He was scared.

Sam: What are you talkin' about?

Dean: He was afraid of what could've happened to you if he wasn't around. But even when you two weren't talking...he used to swing by Stanford whenever he could. Keep an eye on you. Make sure you were safe.

Sam: What?

Dean: Yeah.

Sam: Why didn't you tell me any of that?

Dean: Well, it's a two-way street, dude. You could've picked up the phone.

Not to defend John Winchester because fuck him, but I do think there's a lot to what Dean says here. It makes perfect sense that John would be scared about Sam going off on his own when John had basically spent the first 18 years of Sam's life killing and pissing off monsters. Plus with the demon that killed Mary still kicking about, John had no way of knowing how safe Sam would be on his own.

And, John being John, instead of admitting any of that, he turned it into "if you leave don't come back" because...well, because John is a dick.

I also think Sam, who can be a dick in his own right, probably said some things to John that cut too deeply. John is much more to blame for this, always will be, but I have a feeling Dean is not exaggerating when he says Sam had a decent hand in that rift.

Both brothers look more sad than anything else during this exchange and, yes, that's John Winchester's fucking legacy.

Dean and Sam talk to a Native American man about the bugs and find out about the development being built where the American cavalry raped and then massacred an entire village Native Americans (hello Poltergiest) but he won't talk to Dean because he clocks Dean as a liar and Sam as NOT a liar.

Which, sorry dude, but your radar is a little off there. (I mean not completely but still...)

So weird shit continues to happen and the kid calls Sam for help. Sam tells him to basically convince his father about what is happening and Dean takes the phone from him and tells the kid to LIE because "He'll just think you're nuts." if he tells his dad the truth.

Spoiler: Dean is right; Sam is wrong; the kid stupidly listens to Sam.

Dean's admonishment to Sam made me laugh, "Make him listen. What are you thinking?"

Sam really IS out of practice.

Also, I feel like Dean is projecting a little bit. John wouldn't have listened to either of his sons when they were teenagers. (Hell, he doesn't listen to them as adults.)

So there is a lot more gross bug stuff and somehow they get through and now we get our final brother moment after Sam sees the real estate agent and his son in a better place after their shared trauma.

He tells Dean he wants to find John and apologize "For all the things I said to him."

When Dean asks what he's going to apologize for, Sam admits, "He was just doing the best he could."

Which is an excuse I hear from a lot of fans who defend John Winchester as a father. And, I'm sorry, but just doing the best you could is sometimes NOT ENOUGH.

Dean assures Sam they'll find him and Sam can apologize. Then he hits him with a truth bomb:

"And then within five minutes, you guys will be at each other's throats."

Some notes for posterity:

The significant music from this episode comes from Def Leppard: Rock of Ages (second appearance on the show) and Scorpion: No One Like You

The brothers pose as anthropology students when they talk to John Whitetree but he knows immediately Dean is lying. They tell the coworker of the first guy who dies that they are the nephews of the dead guy, and they tell the real estate agent that they're brothers looking for a place for their dad. (And Dean pretends they're a couple in front of the second real estate agent.)

Movie References: Sam and Dean both mention the film Willard, Dean makes two TV references with The Munsters and Timmy from Lassie...there is also the obvious nod to Poltergeist with the entire premise of the episode.

This hunt takes place in Oasis Plains, Oklahoma.

Dean wears John’s jacket in this episode.

Sam drives the Impala briefly and without explanation.

This is the only episode we see Sam and Dean with umbrellas.

Because Eric Kripke is a bit of a weirdo:

"I called [Manners], said 'the boys aren't scared of demons, but they're scared of rain?' From that point forward, a hard rule: no umbrellas. Not easy for Vancouver."

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soullessjack · 1 year ago

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Question for you about baby Jack: do you think the same people that flatten Jack tend to also woobify Cas to the point of comical gentleness and stereotypical femininity? I was thinking about the implications for both autistic characters having their violence and harsh parts cut away to make them more palatable/adorable.

YES OH MY FUCKING GOD THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING IT.

It was definitely way worse around like S6-7 with Crazy!Cas than it is now, especially as a product of the show’s airing time and how queer men (ie Dean and Cas) were generally viewed during then; if you’ve been on the 2010’s internet you might remember all those mlm ship dynamics that were really just repackages of traditional marriage and gender roles: Alpha/Beta, Top/Bottom, Dom/Sub, etc.

/ Full disclosure that I was *not in these online circles during the 2010’s and I’m not any sort of gender studies expert, so anyone’s free to correct me if I get stuff wrong lol. /

But from what I’ve seen and what I know, Alphas, Tops, and Doms are typically very stereotypically masculine, carrying all the stereotypical traits like aggression and emotional unavailability, and filling in stereo-traditionally masculine roles like being protectors or providers. Vice versa, Betas/Bottoms/Subs were usually the extremely effeminate other half; they were more emotionally sensitive and weak, needed to be protected, and for the most part portrayed as looking physically androgynous or “soft.” Ergo, you have basically affixed these queer men to acting as The Man and The Woman, even though it’s two men.

Like I said, it’s definitely gone away for the most part, especially with the rise in actual gender studies and how gender expression is viewed, especially for men. I’ll still see it in some Destiel art here and there where Dean is this big gruff strong pants-wearer saving a blushing baby-faced dress-clad Cas, (cough wheeze diminuel but you didn’t hear that from me) but thankfully it isn’t thee most prevalent content made for Cas the way baby!jack is thee most prevalent content made for Jack, and there have been plenty of people over the years to come forward and correctly establish Cas as a way more dominant and capable guy than the ao3 fics would have you believe.

Same goes for Dean! He’s set up to be The Man, he likes violence and steak and guns and sleazy dive bar sex, but he’s a very emotionally sensitive man and has his own dips into femininity (Rhonda Hurley, cooking/baking, being Sam’s ‘mother,’ etc.) I’m actually of the opinion that SPN has some of the queerest masculinity ever , and again I’m not a gender studies student or expert by a long shot, but I do think there’s something to be said about how a show that is sort of built on a reversal and deconstruction of the nuclear family (ie Mary being a hunter and John being a normal man, Dean being Sam’s mother in their childhood) is so constantly regurgitated into those very roles by the fandom:

Sam is the “mom” of Jack’s 3 dads, Cas is the sensitive effeminate bean who needs big strong brawny man Dean to protect him, etc., and with Jack’s confirmation as non-binary so many ppl took to drawing them in mostly feminine fashion (which to me speaks a lot to how queer masculinity is treated but that’s for another post I think).

There’s also a lot to be said about how important mothers and motherhood are to SPN. Mary Winchester, Kelly Kline, Lily Sunder, Rowena Macleod, Jody Mills, Amelia Novak, I’m sure I could go on. Sam and Dean follow in the footsteps of their mother’s family as hunters. Castiel bonds with Jack through Kelly, and Jack takes after Kelly more than he does Lucifer (his grandma even points out that he sort of looks like her). I’m absolutely not saying SPN is this ultra feminist show, but when it tries it tries, and what it lays down is very much worth picking up.

you’ll have to forgive me for centering Jack on a Cas ask but I promise it’s not for nothing. like, the whole “twist” to Jack’s character isn’t just that he’s good or sweet; it’s also that he’s much more like his mother. Not only does he look like her, but he’s also very emotional; he’s sensitive, he’s intuitive, he’s deeply empathetic. and where most teen boys wanna be like their old man, he wants to be more like Kelly; even keeping her name as his own. of course he presents fairly masculinely, as do the other guys (unless we’re counting kitchen aprons as a feminine thing, which I only would with a grain of salt), but so much of his character is faceted in being like Kelly; being like his mother, being like a woman, and within the show’s framework that’s a celebrated thing!

I feel like I’m getting away from the original question so here’s some last thoughts to send out the door with you:

> Sam and Dean’s connection and relationship to Mary is also celebrated within the show, arguably more so than their relationship with John

> the importance of mothers in spn is somewhat highlighted by their absences (Sam and Dean, Claire)

TLDR: supernatural accidentally smashed the nuclear gender family and made their men queer and fandom culture/patriarchal norms doesn’t understand it because masculinity isn’t seen as inherently queer the way femininity/androgyny is

#I might actually take up gender studies eventually now it is pretty interesting #not like in college or anything lol . well maybe .#idk lolz #holdthypeace.txt #bringing back that one tag from another post :#every day the gender binary is reinvented and perpetuated and every day I want to rip my skin off to escape it #spn #supernatural #tfw2.0 #jack kline #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #mlm ships #gender stuff #spn study #does this make sense am I insane #also I don’t know if this is necessary but I’ll say it anyways #1) I am not a terf and I don’t ever hope for this argument to be caught on with them #2) im non-binary and I love Jack for being non-binary and my little side note ab the way he’s drawn is not a statement against that ;#; it’s a statement against how masculinity isn’t seen as queer unless it’s in proximity to femininity or androgyny #usually. I know bears are having a grand old time tho 🙌🙌

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lol-jackles · 2 years ago

Note

https://tvline.com/2023/03/07/the-winchesters-recap-season-1-finale-dean-heaven-multiverse-jensen-ackles/

Lots to unpack with this one but some things to point out:

Dean identifies himself as a hunter (alias: James Hetfield) and explains that when he got to Heaven (in the Supernatural series finale), he took Baby for a drive through the multiverse in search of an Earth where his family had a shot at a happy ending. That’s when he caught wind of the Akrida, one of Chuck’s last creations to wipe out existence if he failed. With Sam still alive, Dean wasn’t going to let the Akrida possibly make their way to his brother’s Earth. So as he explained to Bobby in an earlier scene, he gave John the letter from Henry to nudge him in the right direction.

Jack shows up to warn Dean about interfering, but Dean argues that Sam deserves a good, long life, and if Jack wants to cast him out of Heaven, so be it. Of course, Jack gives him a pass and tells him to finish what he started. Dean gives John and Mary his journal, then warns Mary to watch out for a yellow-eyed demon, before handing her the Colt. Now that the Akrida are gone, John and Mary are free to choose their own destiny, which they do by leaving town together, and Dean believes that he may have finally found a version of his parents with a true chance at happiness.

So this did take place during Dean's drive in heaven. Robbie later in the interview even kinda admits they picked it because that's when Sam COULDN'T be there:

There was the spot that takes place in between Episodes 19 and 20, when what happens to Dean happens to Dean… So there was an opportunity to tell stories there, but that just didn’t work for me because we wouldn’t have access to Sam in that way, in a way that we could easily explain or at least emotionally explain, and that just didn’t feel like it was a story that certainly I wanted to tell and none of us did. And the other option was when he was, obviously, in Heaven, because we see him arrive there and he has the scene with Bobby, but then he goes for a drive. That was instantly very exciting to all of us in terms of a space for us to live in and tell our story.

But I think my favorite part of the interview is this blatant lie:

TVLINE | There is a lot of Dean in this episode, which I’m sure is going to please Supernatural fans a lot. What kind of conversations did you and Jensen have about Dean’s presence in this episode and his mission? Did Jensen have any strong feelings about any of the details? Did he have any ideas for this particular episode that you can share? RT: With the finale, [it] was really kind of the same talking points that Jensen had from the beginning, and I don’t want to speak on his behalf, but he was really very clear about he wanted to narrate, he wanted there to be a Dean story, but — I’m paraphrasing here — he didn’t want it to seem like this was The Dean Show. This needed to be a story about Mary and John. At the same time, he recognizes there is a strong desire to see that handsome face again behind the wheel of that car.

he didn’t want it to seem like this was The Dean Show.

hahahahahhahahahha oh ok. Looks like he's taking a page out of the heller book where he thinks if he just says something enough it will make it true.

I must have zoned out from all the freaking expositions that I missed Dean's alias name.

Yup, the show was intended to take place on OG Supernatural and then somewhere between the wildly fluctuation ratings freefall they switched gears and took the AU route.

I have a feeling that Robbie wasn't supposed to reveal that the phone call was coming from inside the house this whole time aka it was actually The Dean Show The Whole Time.

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trannydean-moved · 1 year ago

Text

Baby, I Love Your Way - Fictober Prompt #07

Prompt - #07, "Do you recognize this?"

Fandom - Supernatural

Rating - G

Warnings - Nothing but tooth-rotting fluff

Word count - 829

Summary - Cas, Dean, and Jaime are all taking a rare moment to relax when a familiar song comes on the radio.

A/N - This is just a sweet modern AU that's got Jestiel and some of their kids. I've got angst planned for other prompts so ik I needed to have a just fluff one shot written, too.

Quiet days were rare—always had been, probably always will be. Nowadays, it was usually because the kids were home, making a racket. Despite the house being large, it wasn’t hard to hear the clamoring of feet from one side to the other.

It wasn’t the kids’ fault—Jaime knew that, and so did Cas and Dean. Having four teens, plus Bobby John, under one roof was a recipe for little peace and quiet.

But today was a bit different than most days. None of the kids were home—Bobby John was at summer camp, Jack was at Sam and Jess’ for the weekend, and Claire, Emma, and Krissy were all at a friend’s place. The house was unnaturally calm, the only sounds being from the radio, softly playing classic rock in the background.

Currently, Jaime, Cas, and Dean were all relaxing on the couch. They had somehow lined up their schedules enough to where they were all out of work this afternoon, and they could spend the rest of today with each other.

Cas was the only one sitting up; he wore his reading glasses and had a book in hand, brow furrowed as he concentrated on whatever he was reading. Jaime and Dean were laying on either side of him, their heads resting on either of Cas’ thighs. Their legs hung off either arm of the couch, but they were comfortable, and they were happy.

Jaime was just figuring he could take a nap like this—head pillowed by one of his partner’s lap and just enjoying the evening with each other—when Dean suddenly sat up. This jostled the couch a little, and Jaime grunted in protest.

“What is it, Dean?” Cas inquired, and Jaime opened his eyes to Cas lowering his book a little to peer at Dean over his glasses.

“Do you recognize this?” Dean asked, and it took Jaime a moment to realize he was talking about the song on the radio.

“Uhh, Frampton, right?”

“Yes, yes, but the song itself.”

Dean got to his feet, a grin on his face. He looked at Cas and Jaime, waiting for them to say something, maybe. But both just stared at him, and his grin faltered a little.

“You guys, it’s our song,” Dean huffed. “Remember? This song was playing when we all met. At that party of Jo’s. She had soft rock going, and this was the one playing when—”

“When Jaime tripped with his punch glasses and managed to spill one on each of us,” Cas finished, amused. Jaime groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

“Oh, c’mon, you guys are just never gonna let that go, huh?” Jaime grumbled, furrowing his brow as he looked from Dean to Cas.

“Aww, you’re still embarrassed about that?” Dean cooed, sitting back down on the couch, next to Cas. He wrapped an arm around Cas’ shoulders and pulled himself closer, grinning down at Jaime.

“Well, you did choose to embarrass me consistently about it for the next—what, five years? It’s tapered off since, but you never stopped,” Jaime snorted. Cas hummed a little, but Jaime could see he was trying to hide his smile.

“Of course I did—‘cause it was funny, and you always get the cutest blush when you’re embarrassed.” If it was possible, Dean’s grin grew wider. Jaime made a halfhearted attempt to shove his arm, causing Dean to do the same back.

“All right, come on, that’s enough,” Cas chided, taking off his reading glasses. Jaime gave Dean one last shove before quickly sitting up on Cas’ other side, grinning smugly over at Dean. Cas shook his head and tsked.

“You two are just as bad as the children.”

“Of course—they had to get it from somewhere,” Dean said in a mock serious voice. Jaime nodded in agreement, then leaned back against Cas’ shoulder. Cas wrapped an arm around Jaime and pulled him close, giving him a soft kiss on the temple. He then turned and did the same for Dean.

They sat quietly for a minute, listening to the end of the song, then the start of the next. Their silence was broken when Cas murmured, “Hey, Jaime?”

“Yeah?”

“What made you trip and spill your punch on me and Dean? Did you actually trip over something, or what?”

Jaime felt his face heat up, and he sighed exaggeratedly, debating on whether he should tell the truth or not.

“Don’t laugh at me for this,” he said after a moment. “But you two were busy looking elsewhere, and I thought—well, I thought I could sneak past between you both while getting an eyeful. But I wasn’t paying attention, and I tripped. I dunno if it was over my own feet, or what, but—Dean, I told you not to laugh!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Dean apologized quickly, still laughing. “But you know what that means?”

“I’m sure you’ll tell me.”

“You fell for us. Literally.”

Cas snorted, and Jaime groaned, and Dean laughed some more.

#dean writes #fictober23 #oc: jaime morgan #castiel #dean winchester #jestiel #woag real fluff #amazing #NO THIS IS CUTE OKAY AGHHHH

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