#and dammit her kit/skill is just so fun to play with

[atopvisenyashill]

general thoughts-

this is ep 4 & 5, which means i’m onto ep 6 and beyond and that’s usually where i start falling asleep and go “actually there’s another show i could be watching” so that’s gonna be fun aksjdj

if jory has a million fans, i am one of them. if he has one fan, i am that fan. if he has no fans it means i am DEAD.

i think john bradly is kinda awkward at first but i definitely remember him improving. he comes off a bit insincere in some spots to me but he has good chemistry with kit - when sam is like “so you DIDNT know where to put it” and jon runs over to whack him, that feels very genuine, just two boyfriends besties fucking around.

i do love alliser thorne walking in like “i know what you are” can a man not have a giggle with another man. he’s such a hater.

just the immediate, zero hesitation “you’re too fat for your armor” oh i Know ned desires that man carnally

i have completely forgotten why hugh hammer was important i had to go look him up ajsjdh

ned looking back at littlefinger like “alright we’re friends but let’s not get unserious here” when he puts his hand on sansa’s shoulder

JOFFREY STANDS UP IN ALARM (and interest) WHEN SANDOR JUMPS IN, and joffrey keeps looking at robert to see what robert is going to do, he’s like impressed, slightly concerned, excited, then you see robert kinda look joffrey’s way before he says to stop. jack, mark……………deserved award nominations dammit…….

the little fish pin bran is playing with while he’s thinking of his mom…… “from the moment i placed her in your arms to the moment she dies, she will love you” “sometimes i think you are too smart for your own good” IM GONNA SCREAM ACTUALLY.

not i moved closer to the tv to get a look at the lil fish pendant and then ros’ boobs were just right there 😭😭 i’m not saying i don’t respect sexposition but i am saying we could have gotten nedcat sexposition instead of making ros do all the heavy lifting here.

Conleth Hill is so funny as Varys. He’s got perfect comedic timing, his cadence when he’s going back and forth with someone else is always spot on, you’re always getting the feeling he’s laughing at you.

me and my sibling like to decide out loud if it’s a “good enough” reason to use that word and i’m sorry “they say the eyrie is impregnable” “i’ll impregnate the bitch” Not A Good Enough Reason To Use That Word

Ramin is a genius for this score, the way the music in the scene in the Eyrie is so unsettling but never loud, staying at the same low level until tyrion gets to the sky dungeon and THEN starting to crescendo? i love him i would die for him

this renly & loras scene is the sexiest scene in the whole series. the focus on the hair around renly’s nipple. the bitchy way they snipe at each other in between trading new pieces of hot goss. loras bullying renly into committing treason. “if you want hairless maybe you should find a little boy” “i want you” RICH coming from the man who groomed his squire.

jory’s death & this fight scene always stands out in the series and the show does a great job making it stand out too. that absolutely visceral eye horror where jory’s still aware for a few seconds & the way they REALLY let sean bean & ncw start warming up with the sword skills only to CUT THAT SHIT OFF and jaime is so upset but not enough to do anything different. really fun.

changes i noticed

i feel like they made theon much less weird. where is his inappropriate giggling. why is he not flirting with robb’s mom. i do like this convo between him and tyrion though, don’t get me wrong, i love the dynamics of it, and i love the way it’s in conversation with theon’s story as it goes on - both in that he enters another absolutely stupid ass war bc of pride, and also that he’s going to become physically disabled, but here he invokes an ableist insult towards Tyrion to soothe his own wounds over Tyrion taunting him specifically about his fondness for the Starks being so pathetic considering his status as a hostage. Tyrion says something cruel and Theon is cruel right back; this is traumatic and yet just another Tuesday for both of these men.

i remember so much discourse about this tyrion/theon scene and like which one is more ~problematic~ in this scene and it’s like bro. they’re both being huge assholes here for a very specific reason and they both deserved to get clouted what do u want from a convo between two of the most maladjusted characters in this series aksjdj

Having Petyr creepily whisper Sandor’s backstory which he shouldn’t even fucking know in Sansa’s ear instead of letting Sandor tell that story himself. Beyond that I just Don’t understand the fascination d&d seem to have for aiden’s acting and littlefucker as a character, i just don’t get the point of taking like The Foundational Sandor/Sansa scene, which is also Foundational to Sansa’s changing concept of morality and honor, as well as the overreaching concept of what a True Knight is, and giving it to a character who just Does Not Fuck With Sandor Like That. i hate this. it’s one of my favorite scenes and they just destroyed it for what. for a dude otherwise known for being the Worse, Less Sexy version of brian kinney?? rory mccann would have Killed This Scene!! I FEEL RAGE!!!!!!!

ONCE AGAIN they take the kill catelyn makes to save tyrion’s life and give it to tyrion for…..WHAT. FOR WHY. I WANT THEM DEAD FOR WHAT THEY DID TO CAT OMG.

Okay here we go, weird Theon. I think this Theon/Ros scene starts out good but it could have ended better. Like, the way he can’t even go to a brothel without being mocked for being a hostage. His fixation on Tyrion’s sex life. The way he is too close to Ros’ face when he’s talking to her. I like that last “i don’t want to pay for it” “then get yourself a wife” exchange but i think his comment about his father and her return should have been sharper. It’s missing that Pizzaz that the other added scenes have.

They changed up the Council scene by changing the wording to include the “honorable fool” nonsense, and also cut out barristan so ned doesn’t have someone on the council who he actually gets to come around to his argument, as well as cutting several points of his argument. It’s so stupid. They think Ned is so fucking stupid. ugh.

This next Robert/Cersei scene isn’t imo as good a setup as some of the other ones, because I don’t think Robert OR Cersei are emotionally in a space where she could come up there and argue that much with him and still get him genuinely explaining why he feels a certain way to her. On the other hand, the actual dialogue is VERY in character - Robert breaking down his worries about Dany is good, Cersei being both angry but also deeply curious about how to lead the realm, the way they both start drinking together and cracking up at the idea that their marriage is holding the realm together. Amazing. I love the way the redness seeps out of Robert’s face as the conversation turns serious. It’s almost like he wants to reach out to comfort Cersei, but he does it once again in the most selfish way possible by laying this horrible emotional burden on her shoulders. “does that make you feel better or worse?” “it doesn’t make me feel anything.” it’s so good. i can’t believe neither of them were nominated for this.

i also really like this scene for the later parallel they do with Aemon - the way Robert’s love for Lyanna is so meaningless, an excuse for him to disappear into his vices, she was so nonexistent as a person to him that he can’t even remember anything but the idealized stone statue of her face, and here is Aemon so much further removed from his loved ones, so far removed from even when his memory involved seeing, and he pours over every detail in his mind to remember her face

[silver-leviet]

Me : I hate Luna so much

Also Me :

My own personal feeling about her character aside, her kits actually really fun to play with, especially since she give my boi more extra turns to kick the enemies.

Now time to safe until Vaan's FR and Machina's FR comes.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Irelia, the Blade Dancer build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Jessica “OwleyCat” Oyhenart. Made for Riot Games.)

FINE I’LL MAKE IRELIA GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!

Irelia is my least favorite champion in League. She’s not my most banned (Shaco) nor is she the champion I complain the most about, but she is absolutely the champion that I look at and constantly think “this character actively ruins the game for me.” I’ll admit that Irelia’s role in the Sentinels of Light story was pretty interesting but you’re still not going to make me like Irelia, Riot!

I’m not going to bore everyone with a long-winded rant about my hatred for this character and how what I thought was going to be a nerf actually made her S tier (joy to the fucking world I now actually have to ban her) but I will say this: there are no champions who I won’t make a genuine build for if I take the time to make a proper blog post about them... Except Talon, but that’s because Talon has one of the most boring kits in the entirety of League of Legends.

GOALS

Step. Two. Whirl. Lift! - What? Do you think that a champion with literally unlimited dashes is unfair?

Perfection of form - We’ll also need to weave our blades around us like a dress, slicing at foes and protecting yourself in one fluent motion.

Remember the Placidium! - When in doubt just use more blades.

RACE

Irelia’s a human... but making humans all the time is boring. Irelia has an innate magic and I’d consider being in-tune with Ionia’s spirit a connection to the Fey. So I decided to make her an elf for the sake of this build, more particularly an Aereni High Elf from Eberron for the innate Expertise.

A regular High Elf works too if your DM doesn’t allow Eberron races; the only thing that really changes with the Aereni High Elf is that you get Expertise in a skill. Valenar elves are also cool for the Double Scimitar.

You can also make Irelia a human but there aren’t many feats I want for her except maybe Mobile, but I felt like being an elf was more fun to grab other feats.

As an elf you have +2 to your Dexterity score, Keen Senses for proficiency in the Perception skill (gotta watch those wards!), and the Fey Ancestry of Ionia grants you advantage against charms and immunity to being put to sleep magically. Instead of sleeping you can spend time in a Trance meditating to regain strength. You only need 4 hours in a trance to rest, and are fully aware of your surroundings while doing so.

As an Aereni Elf you get Expertise in one skill of your choice: we’ll be taking Performance because... well you are a dancer. As a High Elf you learn one Cantrip from the Wizard list, and we’ll actually be taking Prestidigitation to aid in our performances. Oh and you’d normally be increasing your Intelligence by 1 but we’ll instead be increasing your Wisdom because... well it fits Irelia more. (No big loss if you increase Intelligence instead though.) And you can learn one language of your choice: pick whatever you think would inspire fear into the heart of Noxians!

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - A dancer is meant to be beautiful first and foremost.

14; DEXTERITY - Of course dancing takes nimbleness. "When no one's around, I dance for myself."

13; WISDOM - This is where the +1 from our race is going! Keep in-tune with the natural world and Ionia’s spirit.

12; CONSTITUTION - You are still a top laner with just... way too much sustain. (Feel free to swap this with Wisdom for more HP but less roleplay.)

10; INTELLIGENCE - Nature is an intelligence skill and military tactics are good to learn, but we simply need everything else more.

8; STRENGTH - You swing your blades with the rhythm of the natural order. Which is to say Riot doesn’t like buff ladies.

BACKGROUND

A dancer is a type of Entertainer. You get proficiency in Acrobatics but since you already have expertise in Performance feel free to grab Nature to become more in-tune with the world around you. You also get proficiency with a Disguise Kit and an instrument of your choice: pick whatever you think suits you and make your own Ionian war hero!

You feature By Popular Demand makes you known as both a dancer and a war leader! You can perform in exchange for a place to rest for you and your allies, and people will remember your dance and treat you with respect.

(Artwork by Bo “chenbowow” Chen. Made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

What? Did you expect this to just be 20 levels of Swords Bard? Honestly Rogue serves as a better recreation of Irelia’s abilities, at least at early levels. That and I want proficiency in 4 skills, so take Insight, Persuasion, Intimidation, and Slight of Hand proficiency to lead and dance with grace. You also get Expertise in two of those skills: Acrobatics is a must but since we’ve already got proficiency in Performance you may as well grab Persuasion for good relations with Ionia’s people.

You also get Thieves’ Cant to speak in the way only other performers can understand, “performers” in this case being other Rogues. But of course the main skill you get is Sneak Attack, giving you an extra d6 of damage if you have advantage on your attack or an ally is near the enemy you’re attacking.

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

I always love when I get to recreate League of Legends dashes by just... letting you use the Dash action a lot. Second level Rogues can make Cunning Actions to Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. Keep it simple stupid and weave around your foes on the battlefield.

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Third level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype, and to dance around the battlefield while slicing down foes the Swashbuckler is a great choice to keep your rhythm in check. Your Fancy Footwork will allow you to attack a foe before slipping away without provoking Opportunity Attacks while your Rakish Audacity will allow you to add your Charisma to your Initiative to always be the first on the front line.

Rakish Audacity also lets you Sneak Attack a foe who is alone on the battlefield as long as you don’t have disadvantage and they don’t have an ally within 5 feet, letting you hit them for an extra 2d6 with your blades.

Now may as well be a time to ask: Dual Wielding or single weapon? Since you’re not going to be getting a shield I’d say carrying two blades is worth it for the potential to deal more damage when needed. You can also use your Dual Wielding attack to activate Fancy Footwork more often to evade more enemies. Just be mindful of when Dashing or Dodging would be more useful.

LEVEL 4 - ROGUE 4

4th level Rogues get an Ability Score Improvement and Dexterity controls most of what we do right now, so a +2 to DEX would be beneficial.

LEVEL 5 - ROGUE 5

Normally I wouldn’t go out of my way to grab level 5 in Rogue just for the sake of Uncanny Dodge, but here’s the thing: it’s literally Irelia’s Defiant Dance! Take less damage from an attack you saw coming before striking back with your 3d6 Sneak Attack.

(Artwork by Michelle Hoefener. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 6 - BARD 1

Now it’s time for those 20 15 levels in Swords Bard! Multiclassing into Bard gives you proficiency with one musical instrument (pick your fancy) and one skill of your choice: I opted for Arcana because... well you’re fighting with magical floating blades. (Or at least you will be in due time.)

As a Bard you can inspire your allies as a Bonus Action thanks to Bardic Inspiration, letting them add a d6 to their Attack Rolls, Ability Checks, or Saving Throws. You have a maximum number of Inspiration die equal to your Charisma modifier, which come back after a Long Rest... for now.

But of course as a Bard you get Spellcasting! You learn two cantrips from the Bard list such as Message to communicate on the frontline, and Vicious Mockery which is sure what I fucking feel playing against an Irelia one-trick smurf account. You can also learn four leveled spells like Faerie Fire to mark your foes, Command to strike fear in the hearts of foes, Heroism to strike vigor in the hearts of allies, and Healing Word; because healing is always good to have.

LEVEL 7 - BARD 2

Second level Bards have dabbled in a little bit of everything: healing, damage, healing, mobility, healing, crowd control, oh and I think Irelia does need some more healing. Regardless Jack of All Trades will let you add half your proficiency bonus to any skill checks you aren’t already proficient in. (This also includes Initiative which is important to mention!)

If you use Tasha’s rules you can also grab Magical Inspiration to make your allies’ spells either heal more or do more damage thanks to your Inspiration. Oh and speaking of spells you can also grab Longstrider for more speed on the battlefield.

Oh and you get Song of Rest, the ability I always mock for scaling poorly. But it will help your allies recover after a hard battle!

LEVEL 8 - BARD 3

Irelia has many magical blades because she went to the College of Swords. Along with Bonus Proficiencies with Medium Armor and Scimitars (neither of which Rogues have for some reason) you can pick up a Fighting Style: I personally opted for Two-Weapon Fighting to get more attacks in but Dueling is also a perfectly fine.

Of course the main appeal of being a Blade Dancer is your Blade Flourish: When you attack on your turn you move 10 feet faster until the end of the turn, and if you hit you can use a Bardic Inspiration on a Blade Flourish:

Defensive Flourish lets you roll your Bardic Inspiration to add to your damage and AC.

Slashing Flourish lets you roll your Bardic Inspiration to add to your damage, and do that extra damage to any other creature of your choice (that you can see) within 5 feet of you.

Mobile Flourish lets you roll your Bardic Inspiration to add to (guess what) the damage. You can also push the target up to 5 feet away from you, plus a number of feet equal to the number you roll on that die. Immediately afterwards you can use your reaction to move up to your walking speed to an unoccupied space within 5 feet of the target. It’s not quite a Dash, but it’s certainly a Bladesurge!

You can only use one Blade Flourish per turn though. Additionally you get Expertise in two skills like Insight and Nature, to know the spirit of both people and the world around you. And finally you can learn a second level spell like Hold Person for a stun before you do your full combo.

LEVEL 9 - BARD 4

4th level Bards can grab something a little better than Flash; the Fey Teleportation feat! Along with a +1 to your Charisma you learn Sylvan, but most importantly you can cast Misty Step once per Short or Long Rest to get out of a dangerous situation! It unfortunately doesn’t add the spell to your spell list (like Fey Touched from Tasha’s Cauldron) but being able to regain your mobility spell after a Short Rest is extremely useful!

Speaking of spells you learn one more Bard spell, and one more cantrip! For your cantrip take Mage Hand to grab blades from afar, and for your leveled spell take Calm Emotions. It perhaps isn’t the most practical and there are certainly better options, but it’s fitting.

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 10 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get a Font of Inspiration, letting their Bardic Inspiration charges come back after a Short Rest. That’s nice because your Bardic Inspiration (and Blade Flourish die) also increases to a d8.

You can also grab a third level spell like Hypnotic Pattern, to stun an entire army with your blades.

LEVEL 11 - BARD 6

6th level Bards can finally turn their Vampiric Scepter into Blade of the Ruined King, giving them some Attack Speed for an Extra Attack. You can still only use one Blade Flourish per turn, but at least now you can attack twice with your action or up to three times if you make a Two-Weapon Fighting attack.

You can also grab another spell but there’s not much I want from third level, so instead I’ll talk about Countercharm, which is dumb and bad. You spend an action to give yourself and nearby allies advantage against Charms and Fears. Or you could fight through the fear and slay your foes... or cast Heroism or Calm Emotions.

LEVEL 12 - BARD 7

7th level Bards can learn 4th level spells like Dimension Door to teleport into lane or back to base, and Freedom of Movement for some Tenacity.

LEVEL 13 - BARD 8

8th level Bards get another Ability Score Improvement. We’ve been investing more in Bard so more Charisma would be nice for more Blade Flourishes and better spellcasting.

You can also learn another spell but again: don’t really want anything, so we’re going to wait for...

(Artwork by Jana Schirmer. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 14 - BARD 9

9th level Bards get to pretend that Song of Rest is a useful ability that scales well, especially when multiclassing. I mean, at least it’s a d8 now!

You also get 5th level spells like Animate Objects. Hey: it only took us 14 levels to get your blades! You can also grab Rary's Telepathic Bond (ty Tasha’s) to keep to team chat with everyone.

LEVEL 15 - BARD 10

10th level Bards get Expertise in two more skills: take Arcana to further your connection to Ionia, and Slight of Hand for the specific hand movements to manipulate your blades. You also see your Bardic Inspiration increase to a d10, which also means your Blade Flourishes deal a d10 of damage!

Additionally you get Magical Secrets from any class so you can use your unique brand of blade magic. And by far the most blade-like spell you can grab (at this level) is Steel Wind Strike, to dash through multiple foes for a big burst of damage!

Additionally we will be grabbing Blade of the Ruined King (finally) with Spirit Shroud; yes it’s a bit of a low-level spell but it serves as a great damage boost to your melee attacks and also keeps enemies close for you to fight them. And finally you get one more cantrip: Mending will help you keep your outfit in check.

Also if you want you can replace Message with Prestidigitation now that you have Rary’s Telepathic Bond.

LEVEL 16 - BARD 11

11th level Bards get 6th level spells: you can lean into your lessons as a dancer and take Otto's Irresistible Dance to force your foes to keep up with the rhythm or die trying. "Okay, I'm warmed up."

LEVEL 17 - BARD 12

12th level Bards don’t get extra spells, but they do get another Ability Score Improvement: more Charisma means more Bardic Inspiration die (for more Blade Flourishes), better spells, and more initiative so capping that out would give you more bang for your buck overall.

(Artwork by Art of Maki. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 18 - BARD 13

Hey remember when I said Song of Rest is a useful ability? Well it’s a d10 now!

At least you can learn Forcecage to take Noxians as prisoners of war to be properly judged... As long as they don’t have a filth bucket in their cell.

LEVEL 19 - BARD 14

14th level Swords Bards as masters of their blades, and can perform a Master’s Flourish using a d6 instead of one of their Bardic Inspiration.

You also get two more Magical Secrets, and hey we can finally grab your ult! Take Blade Barrier to cut the armies off with your Vanguard’s Edge. Alternatively if you need to go back to base take Word of Recall to recall back to your fountain. Which is to say: I had no other good spells to give you.

LEVEL 20 - BARD 15

15th level Bards see their Bardic Inspiration die (and their Blade Flourish die) increase to its maximum size of a d12! And you can cap off the build with an 8th level spell, but in all honesty there isn’t many spells I want from 8th level. So use that slot to upcast and take Hold Monster instead to finally be able to stun Wukong.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Grace bends where strength breaks - You have a variety of ways to deal consistent damage between competency with swords, Blade Flourishes, and powerful spells.

I move to unsung melodies and unbeaten rhythms - +12 to initiative and the ability to move between enemies you attack freely means you’re guaranteed to be on the battlefield fast and able to put yourself in a position to fight with your allies.

Never stop learning; there's always a form you don't know - It was not my intention but turns out Bards and Rogues get a lot of skill proficiencies. +17 in Performance and Persuasion, +16 in Acrobatics and Slight of Hand, +14 in Insight, and +12 in Arcana and Nature. Not to mention Jack of All Trades helping you with all the skills you don’t have proficiency in.

CONS

Each form has a name known only to the wind - So your Dexterity isn’t maxed out, which means you’re a little lacking in both AC and hit chance. Honestly level 5 of Rogue isn’t that good, even if Uncanny Dodge works well as Defiant Dance. 4 / 16 would’ve been better for another ASI.

Stay ready, and there is no need to get ready - Most of your fun spells are accessed at a very high level, with your lower leveled spells dedicated more to utility. You’re a sword fighter first and foremost but seeing as your Charisma is maxed it would be good to use your high Charisma.

We are sharpest where we break! - Low DEX and no Shield (no Shield spell and two-weapon Fighting) means that your AC isn’t the most impressive. That along with 120 health means that a few bad hits can put you in the danger zone. Sure Uncanny Dodge gives you a reliable way to soak up damage but a good surprise hit will quickly put an end to you.

But you don’t need to worry about weaknesses when you’re probably smurfing anyways. Dash, dance, and decapitate foes in a graceful death of a thousand cuts. Keep your style and inspire the commonfolk to take up arms to protect their homeland. Just don’t get too out of line, or Riot might nerf your movement speed by 5.

(Artwork by Bo “chenbowow” Chen. Made for Riot Games.)

[wizard-loving-wizard]

TAZ November Celebration - Day 5 “Rockstar”

@taznovembercelebration​ 

I have a few TAZ fics in progress, so I reeeally wanted to write something for the TAZ November Celebration! Enjoy some Taakitz, some Blupjeans, and some rock ‘n’ roll shenangians. (Rating: M)

Taako was bummed. He hadn't heard from the mysterious Kravitz all day. It wasn't unheard of for Taako to allow one of his fans to enjoy his fleeting company for one night only while he was on tour, but he really liked this Kravitz. He definitely thought he'd get a call back—that's why he’d left his number on the motel nightstand.

It was a shame. Kravitz was cute, in the excessively sexy goth-punk kinda way. He was also a dorky kind of funny, and annoyingly smart. He wrote for a local music magazine (!!!) and seemed to actually love Taako’s band. (“I didn’t come here for work, by the way. Not yet. I just love your music,” He’d said so casually, as if that wasn’t the sexiest thing a goth music writer could ever say.)

Taako had preened across the tall, sticky table, and when he pointed to the motel down the street, Kravitz was surprised but enthusiastic. They spent the night together, and it was very fun.

As his band set up for their next show at the same bar, Taako was losing hope. He hadn’t heard anything from Kravitz all day. This was their last night in Neverwinter, so it was mere hours before he would have to leave Kravitz behind for good. Plus, Taako kept catching the drummer being all romantic with his long-term girlfriend who was on tour with them, and normally that didn’t bother him, but today it made him lonely.

So Taako was already in a shitty mood when Merle marched onto the stage right before soundcheck, clacking his cellphone closed and announcing, “Bad news.”

Taako threw a nervous look over to his sister, who was messing with around with her bass on the other side of the stage. She looked up, equally confused.

“Johann isn’t coming,” Merle said.

Taako’s jaw dropped open.

“What?” Magnus asked, standing up behind his drum kit at the back of the stage.

“Dammit,” Lup muttered.

Taako glanced around at his band mates and his dejected manager. “Are you sure there’s no way he can stay?”

Merle shook his head, saying, “His mom is sick. He’s already in a taxi heading to the airport.”

“Damn.”

Magnus pouted, dropping his drumsticks against the snare sadly. “So, what? We can’t play?”

“No, not without a keyboardist.” Lup delivered the diagnosis with a grim look.

Before Taako could come up with any other ideas, they were resolved to take a break and pack everything back up in an hour. Once the rest of his band had cleared out the stage, Taako dejectedly settled his guitar into its stand. The bar was calling to him, so he hopped off the front of the stage to go get a drink.

In a surprisingly wonderful turn of events, he only made it halfway there before he stopped in his tracks, watching a familiar tall-dark-and-handsome step inside the front door. Could it be?

Taako weaved around to the front, until he made it into the purview of Kravitz’s scanning gaze. Kravitz brightened and said, “Taako!”

“Kravitz!” Taako greeted back, waving, and then remembered that this was the bitch who didn’t call him back. 

Kravitz rushed up to him flustered and said, “I’m so sorry I didn’t call.”

Taako blinked in surprise.

He looked embarrassed. “My cat shredded your note before I could put your number in my phone.”

Taking the blushing as a sign of honesty, Taako threw back his head laughing. “No way!” His stomach warmed as he stared into Kravitz’s sweet eyes and realized why he was here.

“Yes, she’s still just a kitten.”

“Awww.” Taako remembered seeing pictures of the little black kitten last night, he thought, somewhere between his second margarita and third tequila shot. He leaned in a bit closer and resisted the urge to pull on all the things hanging off Kravitz’s stupid chic black clothes. He said, “Well, thanks for coming by. But there’s no show tonight, our keyboardist bailed.”

Kravitz looked around and then pouted. “Oh no! You guys can’t play?”

“Not unless someone in this bar can read sheet music,” Taako said.

But Kravitz had an electric look in his eyes. “Actually, I might know someone who can help.”

+

Lup had drank three beers alone in the closet being passed off as a green room, and she wanted the fourth to be different. She stumbled around backstage with two glass bottles in her hands, humming the Fantasy Costco theme under her breath and searching for her brother.

She found someone else before she found Taako: a human man coming in through the back door, looking like the last person that would ever patron this dive bar. Lup waltzed down the hallway towards him, screaming, “Hey!”

He jumped, staring back at Lup with exactly the amount of fear she wanted everyone to have when they first met her.

She smirked and walked closer. “You lost, thug?”

“Um,” The guy said, giving a cautious eye to the bottles in her hands. “No, actually, my friend told me—are you in the band?”

Lup snorted. “In it? Please, I practically am the band. I’m Lup,” She said, and juggled the beers into one hand so she could extend the other.

He shook it hesitantly. “Barry. I heard you needed a keyboardist?”

“Yes!” Lup jumped in excitement, almost losing both bottles, but managing to cradle them close. “You play piano? Can you read sheet music?” Barry was cute, and he was looking cuter every second.

“Yes, but—”

“Sick! Come with me,” Lup instructed, and grabbed Barry’s arm to pull him towards the green room.

“Have you—”

“Go in here.” Lup pushed him into the closet, following close behind him. She set the beers down and starting rifling through a bag for the folder she needed. When she found it, she slammed it onto the table in front of Barry. “Here’s your music.”

“I…” Barry trailed off, glancing through the folder experimentally. Then he looked at Lup. “Do you know where Kravitz is?”

“I have no idea who that is, buddy,” Lup announced happily. But Barry looked sad, so she revised, “How about you stay here and learn your chords, and I’ll go find him.”

Barry sat in the creaky folding chair and muttered, “Fine.”

Lup started to head out, ready to totally forget who she was looking for, but Barry stopped her.

“Wait, what’s the name of your band?”

Lup furrowed her brow. “It’s in there,” She said, pointing to the music he was looking at. “The Astral Complainers.”

“Huh,” Barry said quietly, and then smiled at Lup. “That’s pretty good.”

Lup smirked. “Thanks.” She almost darted out of the room, but hung off the doorframe to tell him, “If I find everyone, soundcheck starts in 10.”

As she skipped down the hall towards the stage, she heard Barry call after her: “If?”

+

“Fuck…shit,” Taako swore as Kravitz kissed his neck. The tour van was a pretty terrible spot to make out, but as annoying as the limited space was, there was something about being stuck in Kravitz’s lap that Taako definitely liked. As Kravitz ran his hands under Taako’s t-shirt, Taako squeezed his arms tighter around Kravitz’s neck.

Kravitz looked up and licked his lips. Taako couldn’t even take in a breath before he had to kiss him.

And that was when the door swung open.

“Ahh!” Taako shrieked at the sound. He jumped and turned and leaned all at once, sending himself tumbling to the floor, seeing his sister’s angry face on the way down. Shit shit shit shit shit, Taako swore inside his head, enjoying his new view of the dirty van carpet.

He heard Kravitz say, “Taako! Are you okay?”

Taako struggled to untangle his legs from the seat. “Ow. Yes! I’m fine!” He lied.

“You must be Kravitz,” Lup’s voice said, and Taako had no idea how she knew that, but it couldn’t be good that she did. He twisted and turned on the ground, trying to free himself.

“Yes, I’m—yes. Did Taako tell you…?”

“No. Barry’s here.”

“Great!” Taako announced, thought it was mostly muffled by the floor. He finally pulled himself up onto the seat next to Kravitz. “I saved the show!”

But Lup was not impressed. “Nu-uh. No boys in the van, no exceptions. You know that.”

“I mean, Kravitz saved the show!” Taako reached over to grab Kravitz’s arm, smiling sweetly. “I had to thank him.”

The way Kravitz smiled back, Taako couldn’t stop himself from leaning across the aisle, caressing his arm softly, and—

“Hey! Cut it out!” Lup said, and he felt a smack on his shoulder.

Taako’s face warmed as he looked back at his sister. “Sorry.”

“Whatever. Let’s go, we have soundcheck, now.”

Taako was already reaching for Kravitz’s hand when he said, “I should come and thank Barry.”

Taako smiled. “Perfect.”

+

Soundcheck went well. Really well. Afterwards, as Taako ran off to canoodle with the Hot Topic model some more, Lup was thinking that Barry’s skills far surpassed just reading sheet music. She went to corner him at the back of the stage, and got Magnus’s blessing of a wink and a swift exit.

Lup hadn’t realized she was so obvious. She knew she shouldn’t have kept turning around so much while they were playing. Taako probably had no idea anyways; with the handsome silken vampire hanging around, he had the biggest hearts in his eyes she’d ever seen.

“Hey. Barry. Good job.”

He smiled. “Thanks. I hope it sounds okay, let me know if—”

“It sounds great,” Lup promised, leaning gently on the keyboard and giving him a little smile. Water, she remembered, for her tipsy-ness and her voice. She took a drink from her water bottle and then said, “You’re good, do you work in music?”

Barry laughed nervously. “Yes, but, not this kind of music.”

“Aw,” Lup teased, batting her eyelashes at him. “Do you work in pop music, Barry?”

 “No,” Barry said. “I write for the classical music section of the Neverwinter Music Magazine.”

Lup just stared at him for a second, a bit transfixed at his little attitude. She stood up straight, bit back her smirk, and said, “Okay. Classical. That’s fancy.” Then she had a thought. “Is that how you know Kravitz? Through—”

Lup got distracted when she noticed Barry staring at something behind her. She turned to look out to the bar area, where Taako was posing against a wall wearing Kravitz’s black cape, and Kravitz was standing two feet back taking pictures of him on a phone.

Lup looked back at Barry, who was smiling and shaking his head again, and she finished her question, asking, “Work?”

“Look at me,” Barry said, gesturing to his plain t-shirt and jeans. “If he didn’t have to sit next to me for eight hours straight every day, there’s no way he would be friends with me.”

Lup giggled. “He writes about, what, steampunk remixes?”

“Wrong again. Try good ol’ rock ‘n’ roll.”

Lup clicked her tongue. “You boys are something else here in Neverwinter.” She watched Barry give her an awkward look.

He said, “How long are you in town, by the way?”

“Tonight’s our last night,” Lup said. She shrugged, stepping even closer to the keyboard and leaning over it to tell Barry, “Gotta make the most of it while it lasts.” She smirked and backed away.

Turning around to look out at the crowd, Lup set down her water bottle next to her bass. She readjusted her mic stand, watching a group of six more people flood into the bar.

She walked back over to Barry and caught him just before he made it offstage. “Hey,” She said, stopping him. “Have a drink before the show. Just a beer. It’ll help with the nerves.”

Barry stared at her blankly for a moment, and then claimed, “I’m not nervous.”

“Barry, I have eyes. I can see that you’re about to shit your pants.” Lup pulled a coin out of her pocket and tried to hand it to him. “On me. I can’t have one, I’ve already had three.”

“Oh, no, it’s—”

“Barry,” Lup stopped him. “I’m a famous rockstar. I can afford it.” She pushed the gold into his hand and pushed him offstage.

+

Barry was standing at the back of the stage, hitting chords on someone else’s keyboard, and watching Lup rock out on her bass as she sang for the crowd. Her voice pure and strong, her hands playing deftly, her hair whipping around, she was the most beautiful person Barry had ever seen. He watched her, useless and trapped behind the keyboard, heart jumping around every time she turned around to come play next to him or just to wink at him. Barry liked this band. He liked this crowd more than he thought he would. And he liked Lup.

Maybe not as much as Kravitz liked Taako, Barry considered, watching his coworker jump and scream in front of Taako. Kravitz had been frantic that morning at work, rambling about a bar, an elf, and Coconut Milk (his completely black cat). When Barry had calmed him down enough to explain what happened, Kravitz acted like Taako was his soulmate. Maybe he was right, Barry thought, watching Taako shake and shimmy with his guitar, obviously staring only at Kravitz. Whatever was happening there, he was happy his friend seemed so happy.

Weird that he was then crushing on Taako’s twin sister, but maybe Barry didn’t really care. All he felt like caring about was watching Lup jump around in her fishnets, shorts, and ripped black shirt. He felt the bass deep in his stomach as he played, and tried not to think about how much fun he was having.

+

They played loud and rocked hard. The audience loved it, and Lup ended the show sweaty and high on adrenaline. This was when she felt on top of the world. The crowd roared in her face, still cheering, and she stood to watch it happen, swinging her bass back and forth. She smirked down at the fans right in front of her, and then over at Taako, who was glowing.

Lup remembered herself and turned around, immediately walking to the back of the stage. She stepped around the keyboard and pulled Barry into a one-armed hug. “Good show. You killed it,” She said, giving him a small smile, and she liked the nervous little smile she got from Barry in return.

+

“Great show, you guys,” Merle told them backstage. The five of them were a bit cramped for space in the tiny area, and Lup accidentally jabbed her elbow into Barry’s side.

“Ow!” He said.

“Lup, stop that,” Merle said, and flipped through his pages until he found the right one. “Right. Here’s the schedule for tonight.”

Lup stood up straighter and looked over at Barry to teasingly glare at him. 

“We pack up in an hour, I need you back here, in an hour,” Merle repeated, for their benefit. “Then I’ll let you know what time we’re leaving.”

“Yes, sir,” Magnus said.

Merle looked up at them expectantly and said, “Don’t die, don’t kill anyone else, and don’t get married.” And then he was gone.

“What an inspirational man,” Taako remarked.

Magnus said, “Great show, Barry. Thanks. Gotta go!” and ran towards the bar, presumably to tackle his girlfriend at the merch table. 

The door hadn’t even swung shut when someone else grabbed it and walked through to backstage—Kravitz. “Taako!” He said.

“Kravitz!” Taako shouted.

Kravitz ran down the hall, crying to Taako, “You were so good, it was such a good show,” and then they were kissing, a shiny black cape flying around and jewelry clacking together. 

Lup took a step back to give them a bit more space, and she gave Barry a silly look over her shoulder as she squished closer to him.

Once Kravitz could pull his face away, he rushed over to Barry, saying, “Barry, you were so good, you did amazing.” He wrapped his arms around Barry’s head in an interesting-looking hug, and Lup just stepped back to glance at Taako.

He was also leaning back, and giving her a concerned looking and mouthing, BARRY?

Lup just shrugged, and nodded.

“—you are a rockstar, Barry, I always knew it—”

Then, Lup held up a hand at Taako. Then two fingers. And then mouthed, GOTH. CLOWN.

Taako held up his middle finger, and Lup flipped him off right back, and that was the exact second Kravitz and Barry turned around.

“What—”

“Nothing,” Taako said, and starting pulling Kravitz towards the bar. “Remember, we’re—”

“To, going to the—”

“The place.”

“Yeah. Bye!” Kravitz yelled, and they disappeared through the door.

When the door slammed back shut, Lup looked over at Barry.

He gave her a nervous smile and said, “Thanks for letting me play with you, and thanks for helping me.” He motioned to the back door. “I should get—”

“You can’t leave,” Lup interrupted. “Have a drink with me.”

Barry looked surprised. “It’s pretty late, I—”

“Please?” Lup asked nicely.

+

Forty-five minutes later, Lup and Barry were each on their third cocktails. They were at a low table by the bar, and the music and crowd were defeneningly loud. Lup threw back her drink and stared intently at Barry. “I don’t want to shout!” She shouted.

He blinked. “What?”

“You look like a girl scout!”

“...I can’t hear you!”

Lup rolled her eyes. “Do you want to make out?”

“Yes,” Barry said.

Lup stared at him, wondering if her half-joking question had worked or if he was fucking with her. She stared at his discerning, hesitant face, and couldn’t tell a thing. So she shifted closer to him, leaning in until her face was inches away from his. 

He stared into her eyes.

“Sure about that, Mozart?”

Barry didn’t say anything, and he didn’t move.

So Lup kissed him, squishing their noses together and holding him still in the bouncing bar. Barry pushed forwards and reached for her shoulder, so she held his face and kissed him deeper. 

“Barry,” She whispered contentedly when they readjusted and broke apart for half a second. She kissed him, pulling him as close as possible. Barry kissed her back steady and gentle, seeming fairly sure of himself for a man who tried to escape out the back door an hour ago.

+

Lup arrived backstage exactly when Merle expected her, towing Barry behind her, holding her hand. They joined Magnus and Julia, who were closely intertwined, and Kravitz and Taako, looking a bit too pleased with themselves.

Merle looked at Lup’s hand hanging tightly onto Barry and said, “Oh, jeez.”

Kravitz held up a little thumbs-up to Barry.

“Okay, look,” Merle explained, “The owner had some cancellations and now she has a few more open spots this week. She wants us to stay ‘til Thursday.”

Taako gasped in delight, but Magnus said, “But we don’t have Johann!”

Everyone looked over at Barry, so Lup turned to him, and smiled. “Whaddya say, will you play with us?” She asked.

“Um, yeah—yes,” Barry said.

Lup laughed and hugged him. She heard Taako and Magnus cheering. She gave Barry one last squeeze around the shoulders and let him go, turning back to face Merle. “Yeah, I think we should stay here a bit longer.”

“Let’s do it!” Magnus yelled.

“The ayes have it,” Merle declared. “Forget tear-down, you are officially free to par-tay.”

They all whooped and cheered, and it felt like New Year’s Eve when Lup pulled Barry in to kiss his cheek under a karaoke night poster.

-

Thank you so much for reading! If you’d like to see more of my writing, all my info is here.

[the-shsl-clown]

Redoing the murders so they mesh a bit better with the characters set skills and the more in the moment ideas part 1

Trial 1.1.1- Sayaka vs. Leon, the murder

First of all, why the fuck did Sayaka pick a physically oriented ultimate to kill this shit was thought out. Girl is a stick, Leon is famous for hitting something that goes many miles an hour and being the best at that as well as throwing said thing, with 0 practice. He may look smaller. But he can obviously fuck someone up

First change, a more feasible victim because Sayaka thought it out or, Sayaka not planning a murder but deciding on it completely in the moment

For option 1 her options would be

Chihiro (sorry baby)

Toko (Sayaka doesn't know about jack/syo)

Taka (sayaka doesnt know he has a 98 pack)

Celeste (dainty vampire fucker)

Kyoko (has shown no evidence of self defense)

Makoto (dumb twink boy she knows she can manipulate)

Togami (stick bitch)

Junko (Mukuro, Sayaka doesn't know she's actually the shsl soldier)

Hagakure (he probably can't throw a punch tbh)

But if you go with making it last moment. Lets say she's actually scared and switches with Makoto.

Leon, a stronger ultimate/person has been expressing jealousy of her musical talents and has been pushing aggressively for her help with his dream and he doorknob is always being shaken and her door has almost been taken off it's hinges by how hard this person has been knocking

And it happens to Makoto's door. Sayaka answers Makoto's door under the impression that maybe someone is just doing this to all the doors, maybe they're scared and don't want to ask for a sleepover in front of the others.

Leon comes in and is yelling because he just wants her help and he's crying because this is what he wants for himself and she won't even hear him out.

Sayaka assumes he's going to hurt her and grabs Naegi's decoration sword and goes to his him, this strategy quickly encounters a problem BC, small.

Leon panics and asks what she's doing

But Sayaka suddenly makes up her mind that he has to go, if not for anything but her own peace of mind so she keeps hitting at him

Leon eventually grabs the sword from Sayaka and keeps yelling

Sayaka closes herself in Makoto's bathroom using the door trick to her advantage

But after that Leon decides that for his own safety (and maybe the safety of anyone he befriended here) that Sayaka is a danger to the weaker ones among them and if she gets away with anything to him

Now, we can have some fun here

Stick to the tool kit OR Leon straight up fucks this door up. Leon has the muscles to do it. He runs fast naturally and he has arms for days

I personally like having him fuck the door up BC 1. Naegi has to live with that (longer lasting consequences of the 1st trial)

2. This puts a blame on the other physical ultimates

Mondo

Sakura

And Aoi if Leon plays his cards right

Giving way to more main suspects than Naegi and it gives a strong evidence in Makoto's favor

3. I just feel like the fact that Leon would definitely kick in a door to see if he could isn't addressed enough

Rather than the stabbing Leon hits her with the sword in the same fashion someone swings a bat to hit a ball bc stabbing is boring and his ultimate in itself is applicable here dammit.

Rather than a blood message Sayaka uses the soap on glass method while Leon is breaking in just in case she dies here(because you can see blood, the soap on glass method is less obvious)

Sayaka is found dead the next morning and the room is a wreck

[team-science-mega-nerds]

Fictober Prompt #24: “Patience...is not something I’m known for.”

Fandom: Supergirl

Pairing: Danvarias

Warnings: None

The hardest part is remaining calm. It always seems more frantic than it really is but eventually more help will arrive. Everyone will survive and Alex can return home and have a beer. Of course, it’s much easier for her to say all of this. She has safety gear, she has a clear path to the entrance, and she has an - annoying but brilliant - Winn at her side. 

This isn’t an easy cave to trek through. That’s the first thing she thought about when she got the call. It’s difficult, dark, and dangerous and certainly not a place for beginners. Usually, this is the kind of place that people might get lost in but rarely trapped and that’s where most of her jitters are coming from. 

An unstable barrier of rocks stands in her way and without the necessary equipment, this is going to end in tragedy. Alex does have faith, she has to, that James will arrive back in time. For now, Alex keeps the woman, who has been trapped for approximately three hours, talking. “You still doing okay?” Alex and Winn had only been there for about ten minutes. Immediately, they’d recognized the danger and determined that this rescue would require special equipment. James had run so fast to get help, that Alex had to chase him down just to remind him that there were other people that required medical treatment. 

“I’m alright.” That was probably a lie but it’s good that she was telling herself that. Sam, an avid spelunker, had come here with her friends - Jack and Lena - for a little weekend getaway. Jack is currently sitting in the back of an ambulance, in shock. Lena had to get sedated to prevent her from tearing into the rocks and causing more chaos on the scene. “I’m usually really careful.”

“This was a freak accident,” Alex reminds her. “We’ll get you out of there.” Winn diligently studies the cave map looking for a plan that might actually work. “How are you feeling, Sam?”

“I’m fine.”

“I mean really.”

“Terrified.” Alex flicks on a flashlight and studies the map again. This was going to be a tough mission but this is what they do. “Are Lena and Jack okay?”

“They’re in shock. The moment I know more, I’ll tell you, I promise.” Alex has learned over the years that promises are the key to every rescue. Never tell someone in danger that you will save them, give them small scraps of hope to hang onto. Guilt is a menace and burden. “I bet you didn’t think your day would end up like this.”

“Yours too.” Sam laughs, it’s quiet but cuts through the tension enough to make Winn crack a smile too. “What were you doing before this?”

“Oh, it’s boring…”

“I’m trapped in a cave, everything that reminds me of the world out there is amazing as far as I’m concerned.”

“Okay.” Alex adjusts her body so that she is closer to where Sam is trapped. “I was watching Jeopardy and eating Cheetos.”

“What kind of Cheetos?”

“Flamin’ Hot-.”

“Puffs?”

“No,” Alex listens to a groan on the other side of the barrier. “What? Sam? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just, how sad is it that you’re living your life eating inferior Cheetos?” Alex tries not to laugh but falters. She isn’t used to someone making jokes when they’re in danger. Winn gets a radio call, thankfully, so he has to leave the cave before he has time to make fun of Alex. “You have a nice laugh.”

“It’s the cave. Makes you hallucinate and think everything new is wonderful.”

“This is a pretty good hallucination so far.” Winn returns with a gurney and some equipment. “How’d you get into this line of work?”

“Oh, um…” Alex ponders that thought. It was less about getting into this kind of work and more like falling over herself through her early 20s and finally landing a job that had enough action to keep her motivated. Alex likes saving people, she likes being the hero. “I like helping people.” 

“Does it get scary?”

“Always,” Alex tells her truthfully. “But I’ve trained for this. We all have trained for this, you’re in good hands.”

“I know.”

“Where are you from?” This is a technique, Winn likes to call stalling. There’s still no sign of James or any backup and they need oxygen masks and tanks and Alex has no idea when they’ll arrive. 

“Buffalo. But I moved to Metropolis about six years ago.” 

“Isn’t it really cold up there?”

“Yeah, but I like the cold.” Alex can hear the smile in Sam’s voice, she knows that Sam is the type of woman who enjoys being tough. “Lena was my saving grace. But we never did things like this. Not until Jack got us drunk like a year ago and we decided to give it a try.”

“It’s not an easy hobby.”

“I’m not an easy girl,” Sam replies. “Well, except back in college. Or if a woman has an undercut-.” Winn bursts out laughing, Alex kicks his shin. “Oh, that got a reaction. Who’s out there with you?”

“Hi, Ms. Arias, I’m Winn. Sorry, to laugh, caves make me manic.” 

“Hi, Winn, any...updates?” There’s a slight hint of desperation in her voice, something that hadn’t been there a second ago. Alex needs to say something to keep Sam calm, or they could risk a very dangerous turn of events. 

“Just a little bit longer.”

“Patience...is not something I’m known for.” Alex doesn’t like the sound of that response. “Got any dynamite? Let’s just blow all these rocks up.”

“Sounds like the opposite of a good plan.” Alex grabs the map again. “Okay, Winn, I need you to go through the woods and link up with James. We need two wetsuits, three tanks, a gurney, and a kit-.”

“But-.”

“I know. It’s better to have her out of there, now go.” Winn does as he’s told and Alex hopes that she’s keeping a level head. “Okay, Sam, we’ve got a plan. I can you through it if you want.”

“Is it scary? I mean, obviously, it is but...will we make it out of here? Don’t send anyone in here if there’s any chance-.”

“It’s our job. It’s my job. This is a cakewalk but I need you to stay focused.” Alex starts gathering supplies. “Let me play hero, okay?” 

“I feel like I’m in a movie.” Sam sighs. “Dammit, I’m the damsel in distress.” 

“Don’t sell yourself short. You did make it through most of a really impressive route. And you’re gonna have a fucking incredible story to tell.” James and Winn return with the equipment and Alex immediately starts getting her gear on. “Okay, Sam. We’re almost ready to start heading toward you. Winn is going to stay here and keep talking to you. My buddy James and I are going to go to the east channel, through the water, and then make our way to you. We’ll look like creepy scuba divers but Winn has trackers on our equipment so he can tell you exactly when we’ll be meeting up with you.” 

“Should I stay where I am?”

“Yes. Don’t move and don’t worry. We’ll be right there.” This is the best part, Alex thinks as she and James depart. All the planning and build-up is stressful but when it comes down to it, she and James have done things like this a million times. It isn’t often that they do water rescues or cave rescues that involve completely submerging in water to escape but Alex finds it comforting, especially knowing that someone as skilled as James is at her side. 

As promised, Alex hears the end of some very long and dramatic explanation from Winn, informing Sam that James and Alex are there. Just in time, it seems, because Sam looks drained when they approach. “Jesus Christ, you two look like some kind of sci-fi monsters,” Sam remarks pointing to the masks their wearing. James and Alex laugh, lifting up their masks and showing Sam that they are two very real and relatively normal people. “Wow, now it feels like I’m having a very specific sex dream. Not quite sure what that says about me.” Sam allows herself to get strapped into the gurney and smiles as Alex checks the oxygen levels on their tanks. “It was kind of rude of you not to tell me how hot you are.”

“Kinda rude of you too,” Alex replies. James clears his throat loudly. 

“Um, this is fun and all but...we should get going.” James is right, of course, but that doesn’t stop Alex and Sam from sharing a smile before the masks return. 

“Okay, this is the fun part. You’ll be on the gurney from now until we get to the ambulance. It sounds like a long time but it’s necessary.” Alex fastens the last buckle. “It might seem scary underwater. It will feel like we’re under there for an hour, but it’ll only be 5 minutes. I’ll be holding your hand the entire time and the only thing I need you to do is tap the back of my hand with your thumb. This lets me know that everything is okay. Give it a try.” Alex holds Sam’s hand and Sam lightly taps it. “Good.” 

“Winn, we’re ready to go!” James shouts.

“Roger.” 

“Now, Sam, if you stop tapping, that’s my signal that something is wrong. James and I will move forward or backward depending on how far we are down the channel. Starting again isn’t a problem.” 

“Okay,” Sam nods her head and James gives Alex’s a thumbs up. They’re ready to go. 

Alex is comforted by the gentle tapping, it’s an easy reminder that this isn’t a drill, that someone's life is in danger. Alex and James move fast and purposefully and the biggest surprise isn’t that they make it through the channel with ease, but that Winn had managed to talk to Sam and help EMS navigate through the forest and arrive just as Alex and James were bringing Sam out of the cave. Safety check-ins are long and laborious and Alex almost misses her chance to talk to Sam again before she’s whisked away to a hospital. “Hey,” Alex shouts, jogging toward the vehicle and motions for the EMS guys to beat it. “Did you have fun?” Alex jokes. 

“I can think of better ways to spend my Saturdays from now on.” Sam lets out a breath. “Like maybe...coffee with the resident superhero of these parts?” The EMS guys hoot and Alex has to shove them aside just to give herself the courage to mumble yes. 

“Stay out of any caves for a while, okay,” Alex advises. 

“Well, if I get trapped and require a rescue, I know who to call.”

[toasttz]

How to make games: Hero Shooters

So, class, today I posit this little question to you all: Do you want to be the next Blizzard? Fuck no, you don't want to be "Don't you guys have phones?" Blizzard; you wanna be Blizzard from 5-10 years ago when they were at the height of their popularity. But that's not what I'm shooting for here. Do you want a fount of endless revenue? Do you want to do the absolute baseline minimum in terms of engine and game design to actually create a game but aren't creatively and ethically bankrupt enough to make a gacha game? Do you want to build a game whose rules, designs, and themes were just stolen from the effort of others? Do you really like Rule 34? Then it sounds to me like you want to make a Hero Shooter game! Hero shooters are easy to make on account they fundamentally have only three gameplay modes: push a payload, kill the other team, and kill the other team while standing on top of a glowing circular thing. They're also equally easy to design as they require no thematic consistency whatsoever and what little writing you'll be expected to bother with will simply be character bios, which you can keep so vague as to be virtually meaningless. There's never a 'story' in a hero shooter game and what semblance of one does exist is pretense for the non-canon aforementioned three game modes you'll be forced to build around. Best of all, the individual mechanics of each hero are easy to design - just steal them from whatever games came before. Now create about three or four maps with some different sorts of themes, but don't make them in any way mechanically varied - the most complex obstacles on any given map should be walls and maybe elevators that move at a very low speed. We're making a hero shooter, not Mario Party, dammit. If anyone asks why you are essentially just reskinning the same maps you can explain that it's to ensure that the game remains a "test of the players's skills" even though that's a bold-faced lie for the same reasons people who play Super Smash Bros as "tests of skill" are full of shit. Meta-gaming retards make games algebra homework instead of fun, but that's precisely what you'll be banking on in this genre. Once you have that, we need to get into the most important thing about hero shooters: the Heroes. Heroes in these games take one of three major roles: 1) The retard scrub DPS heroes - who will be played by the vast majority of your one-trick glory-chasing mentally-stunted community under the pretenses of being 'the most fun' and will be where the better part of your "cool" themes and motifs will be dedicated toward. These work under the key principle of "Shoot everything until it stops moving" and requires zero brainpower whatsoever. 2) The under-estimated doggedly persistent Tank heroes, played by those with either the willingness to learn something other than "Shoot bad guy with gun" or those who find pressing and holding a single button for the duration of the 10 minute match time to be the highlight of their bleak office-job lives. Though, on the other hand, some of the really cool designs will ultimately end up in this family. 3) The unsung gods among men known as the Support heroes, AKA: the ones no one will actually play. These characters will never be given cool or interesting mechanics or designs, but you'll be at liberty to make as many sexy nurse outfits as you can come up with and no one will be able to tell you otherwise. Like an ungodly amalgamation of tanks and DPS, your gameplay experience will boil down to pointing at your target and holding down the button the entire match - except unlike DPS heroes, you'll be shooting at the blue team and not the red team. Now, some might argue that there are technically other families of heroes, like flankers, zone controllers, pseudo-supports who can debuff enemies, but remember that the key to any good hero shooter is keeping everything rock-stupid. Every hero should have only enough abilities to fill a role for the left and right mouse buttons and the Q and E keys. F or R can be for reloading where applicable, but if you demand anything more of your players, you're going to lose their interest because Hero Shooters are hugboxes for sociopaths who care for nothing more than getting that sweet, sweet 5-second long "Play of the Game" replay at the match's end. This is why the character who invariably rips off Team Fortress 2's Demo Man and can kill people he doesn't have direct line of sight with will always be the most popular, without exception. I mean, sure, you can have 30 or 40 heroes, each with incredibly detailed outfits, backstories, kits, and personalities but everyone will just play the Not-Demo Man so you might as well accept that your userbase is going to be the only thing more toxic than a puffer-fish or a modern-day feminist. But I repeat myself. I don't have the time nor particular inclination to tell you exactly what you need to make but I can give you some character types that are obligatory by law to be in any hero shooter game. This will at least give you a start before you realize that being creative is hard and just steal kits from better games than your own. Call of Duty Man - The main DPS hero and usually the face of your game. Typically a grizzled war veteran man and almost exclusively an American if your game is set in the real world - remember, creativity is hard! He'll have a medium-ranged assault rifle and precisely one movement skill and one healing skill in his kit making him a jack-of-all-trades. Will either be loved or hated by your community with no room for in-betweens. Sexy Healer Lady - The main support hero who is literally just TF2's Medic reskinned and with tits. You really don't need to do anything more with her, as the fanbase will handle the rest. And the less said of that, the better. Big Knightly Dude - The main tank hero who has a big shield that, regardless of origin, will be transparent so Call of Duty Man and Not-Demo Man can fire through it while guarded. Probably wields a melee-ranged weapon even if in a modern warfare setting. By law, they can never be shorter than 6'6" (or 7200 cm. Pretty sure I did my conversion right on that). Flamethrower Guy - Literally just TF2's Pyro. Mechanic - Literally just TF2's Engineer. Sniper - Literally just TF2's Sniper. Probably also a voluptuous woman in a tight suit because creativity is fuckin' hard, man. Not-Demo Man - The cancer in your fanbase you will never nerf. Doesn't matter that he can party-wipe the enemy team single-handedly without being anywhere near them because Hero Shooter maps are literally just a set of narrow corridors so his kit is extremely OP. No, better just nerf Sexy Healer Lady again, since your DPS fanbase is pissing and moaning about her again and, this time, not in the same way a cat in heat does. Next, just make characters around elemental themes. Once you have 30 or so, you can get around to actually doing really mechanically interesting and varied heroes, since there's really only like 10-15 good FPS character ideas to begin with. So don't be surprised if you have some overlap. But by then we should hopefully have completed the next major step after the game is made: alienating your fanbase! This step is easy and requires no particular skill or coordination on your part. First, make some events seasonal, such that you have at least a major event every other month. Any more than that and your fans might actually think you're trying to be anything but another generic Korean eSport event, so be sure to space them out and have at least half of them be terrible. Valentine's Day is a good excuse to dress your female heroes sexily, summer games are a fun and not-at-all tired motif, and of course you need some kind of Christmas event. Just make sure these events only run maybe 2 weeks out of the year, have lots of stuff that you can only get during those times and, as said, that most of them are terrible and not fun at all to play. And don't -EVER- make any of them PvE, as that requires coding AI characters and effort and shit - what do you think think this is? Warframe? No, terrible gimmicky PvP events will be a good start because there is no frustration quite as severe as being told you didn't grind hard enough for: Loot boxes! Shit yeah, your hero shooter's gonna have loot boxes in them! Remember, we want maximum money for minimum effort and there's nothing like a Skinner Box within the hugbox that is the sweet dopamine high of popping a loot box open only to get common drops every time! If MMORPGs have taught us anything it's that Sub-1% drops are TOTALLY good game design and aren't at all unethical and an artificial, cheap tactic to keep people hooked on your game. This is why, in addition to the e-peen bolster that is your arbitrary profile ranking also drip-feeding a loot box upon level up that you have "Weekly Resets" for additional loot boxes. This runs on essentially the same principle as a cell phone games making you wait for additional tries to make it more a habit than a game - but that's okay! You can just rationalize it away as "it was the player's CHOICE to buy 300 loot boxes for the low, low price of 799.99 USD!" and not at all a psychological compunction found in human psychology! You're not an unethical douchebag in the slightest! And speaking of douchebags, it's time for the third and most important step in alienating your fanbase: Balancing the Game! What do I mean by that? You might think it's something like "Oh, this one character has an attack that is way too powerful and so it should be retooled in such a way that it either isn't available as-often, or maybe make its hitbox narrower to make the game more skill-based" but you're dead wrong. That requires actual effort and we all know how we feel about that. So, instead, just start an eSports team. Why? So you can listen only to the DPS players from each team and only implement THOSE changes. That way, only tanks and supports get nerfed into irrelevance and since no one in eSports is ever going to play those roles anyway, who cares? Who needs healers when you respawn to 100% after 7 seconds of dying?! Who cares if the majority of your fans hate these changes and that you end up completely destroying the kits and frameworks of their favorite heroes with needless, superfluous, unwelcomed tweaks? God-damn it, the Not-Demo Man needs to be able to wipe out an enemy team with a 3-second Time to Kill! No questions! I have a very specific vision!! Once your fanbase has been alienated - congrats! You're no longer obliged to release new heroes and levels! The responsibility of server upkeep and releasing new content twice a year are lifted! Now, just reskin the entire game top-down and release a new, better hero shooter founded on the same grounds to re-capture your fleeing audience and fleece them all over again! Now repeat ad infinitum and gain unlimited money. Congrats, you're now another Chinese game manufacturer that shits out products with no care for their fans or reputation but you get to go whaling every single day and fill your bathtub with money. You're ready to work for actual Blizzard now! You're welcome.

[sketchlm]

all the prime numbers

haha wow i… i despise you for this because i havent thought about prime numbers in fucKING FOREVER MAKING ME do M a TH-

anyways here we go!

ghh long post ahead

2 - What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Static: He loves his mom and would do anything for her. Anything. Still doesn’t stop him from being irresponsible. Out of love and… stuff. She’s also the one that taught him the basics of building things!

Kane: …It’s complicated. He never knew what his mother did for a living, just that it was illegal. She was more than slightly paranoid (a trait that runs in the family, apparently), and usually coddled him and his sister to the most extreme degree. Of course, excessive coddling usually leads to a roundabout rebellious phase and…-

He loved his mom. That’s it.

3 - What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Static: Same with his mom, he loves his Dad. His Pop’s is busy doing… well, dangerous stuff. Usually dropping by and showing off some kind of battle souvenir or something. Still, doesn’t stop him from constant idolization. His Dad is a coooool duuuu d e-

Jones: …Complicated? Honestly, I haven’t divulged most of Jone’s relationship with Kane beforehand, but it was rough. Imagine being born, and then instantly thrust into a secretary role by the time you could speak, without any access to the outside world. That’s basically it. Jones is rowdy, got rebellious, left for several years, and then found him again just to realize that she had been replaced. Still, Jones is an optimist. She’s working things out. They both are.

Kane: ….Ghh. COMPLICATED. His Dad was a Scientist. Yeah. Imagine Rick, except less relatable than he already is, his drinking issue is actually a problem, and told his twin children that “One of them was going to end up a failure, and the other is going to actually move on to be successful.” Mmhm. Now, imagine Kane having some sort of heart (just imagine! Hah!) and putting HIMSELF in the position of Failure to the Family because he doesn’t want his SISTER to go through that. Anyways, it’s complicated. Does he hate his father? Nah. Is he particularly fond? …Ghh…

Valery: It’s less of a father-daughter thing, and more like a employee-employer thing. Yes, she understands that TECHNICALLY Kane is her Dad, but she hardly considers it. Or tries not to. Doesn’t stop her from trying to copy all of his fancy, showy mannerisms, and becomes incredibly infatuated with anything he finds slightly interesting.

5 - On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Static: Screwdriver, way too much lint, bubble gum, and that weird timepiece.

Kane: Wallet, cigarettes, caffeine gum, a pen and pad, and a few 2x3 photos.

Jones: Brass knuckles, loose change, and probably a snickers bar.

Valery: Half of Jones’ snicker bar, and a pencil and pad.

Melody: Harmonica, wallet, and some nail clippers.

7 - Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Static: Breaking lightbulbs/Power outages

Kane: Thousands and thousands of grasping hands.

Jones: Large, jacked, angry shadows.

Melody: Crashing boats– torches and nets.

Valery: Clowns. Clown boys. Uuughh…

Jingzi: Doesn’t dream you absOLUTE PEON-

11 - In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Static: The whole fucking… new body thing? For Amias? He was.. Terrified?? Literally halfway to a fucking heart attack his heart was beating so fast and it’s like 50% metallic and artificial daMMIT GA S PS

13 - Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

None of them are really bothered by blood. Static isn’t that big of a fan, though. And it sticks to Jing, so they think that it’s icky.

17 - What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Static: I mean- it’s 300 years in the future so obviously toys are differ- LEGO’s. Future LEGOs. Also he’s still a child.

Kane: Probably one of those potato battery science kits. I mean, obviously he used them for more than just a potato battery. He would use that battery to power other, more interesting things.

Valery: OBVIOUSLY one of those potato science kits. Also puzzles. Puzzles are fun. Also she’s still a child.

Jingzi: They like to eat the potato kits.

Jones: Didn’t play with toys. Liked playing ‘dolls’ with things like staple removers and pens though.

Melody: Played a lot with seashells.

19 - What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Static: Overly clingy. Gets jealous really easily. Hasn’t ruined a relationship (yet?? Dun dun dun…)

Kane: Total lack of relationship skills. Has ruined many relationships, and a marriage.

Jones: Overly protective. Hasn’t messed up (yet.)

Valery: Not many flaws? I mean- she’s mentally 12. Relationships aren’t that complicated for her. (ALSO JUST TO CLEAR UP WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY SHE’S “6”. TECHNICALLY SHE’S 6 YEARS OLD BUT PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY SHE’S LIKE… MIDDLE SCHOOL AGE? I mean Piccolo was 3 and he kicked Goku’s ass during the World Tournament so I don’t see a p r ob l  em)

23 - What does your character dislike in other people?

Static: To put it simply- ‘uppity’ people. I mean- honestly he can’t talk- but he doesn’t like anyone who looks down on anyone else.

Kane: Dislikes people in general.

Jones: People who like to flaunt their intelligence. Oi, we ain’t all fuc’kin pic’cassios! Got it?!

29 - What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Static: Dreams of being a great inventor and/or superhero. Hasn’t come true. BUT IT WILL. ProbABLY-

Kane: In all honesty? He wanted to be a vet. Went down a… slightly different route.

Jones: Didn’t have any real dreams.

Valery: Being a great scientist! Hasn’t happened yet.

31 -Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Static: Hanging out with Amias. Just being near Amias. Amias.

Kane: Talking about something he enjoys, really. Max can confirm that ‘comfortable Kane’ is terrifying.

Jones: Just talking to anyone. She’s in a general state of ‘relaxed’ 24/7.

Valery: Being next to Jingzi.

Jingzi: Being next to Val, or close to some sort of mirror.

37 - Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Generally all of them are concerned more with protecting honor. Kane is adamant about keeping his ‘Doctor’ status, though.

41 - Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Static, Kane, Jones: Believes in working hard and earn things.

Jing, Val: Still figuring it out. Very inbetween. They CAN work hard, but do they WANT to?

43 - Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Not really. Most of their important figures were related in some regard. Jones is starting to lean more onto the Soul Kids, and Val onto Jing (although she considers Jing as family so…)