#and dad was like. oh but when you volunteered at the elementary school you said you wanted kids

[daytonasand]

x

[callsign-dexter]

Coach Bradford

Summary: Tim, your father, agrees to coach your softball team along with Lucy.

Pairings: Tim Bradford x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, Tim being Tim, swearing, injury, blood, hospital

Masterlist

Summer was officially here and that meant that travel softball was starting. You loved softball. You've loved it ever since you could remember. You had played it for most of your life starting from t-ball all the way up to fast pitch. You were the best player on the team. You could pitch, hit, catch, be infield and be outfield. You were just in elementary school ending 5th grade and already so good. Maybe it was because your dad, Tim Bradford, was a baseball lover and a hard ass when it came to practicing but he was only doing to help you. He would never push you too hard to the point of physical hurting yourself.

Playing softball took your mind off your mother not being there. She had left when you were young but you were old enough to understand what was going on. You threw yourself into softball which you just grown to love and it became one of your favorite hobbies.

You loved your team and your coach and coach assistants. You also loved that your dad, his girlfriend, Lucy Chen, and the rest of the group, John Nolan and Bailey Nune, Wesely Evers and Angela Lopez, Nyla Harper and James Murray, Celina Juarez, Aaron Thorson, and Wade Grey and Luna Grey, showed up to your games whenever possible.

Currently, your coach had to step away for a family emergency. The assistant coach was out sick, and the other coach was sick along with his wife, who was the assistant coach, but their kid was fine and staying with another friend. That meant a parent needed to step in. You being you volunteered your father and to say he was surprised but he would do it for you anyway.

You had just come to the station after practice still in your softball gear. You had been dropped off by your friend's parents. You walked into the station and greeted the front desk and they smiled and greeted back and let you go. As you were walking you ran into the first person you liked to play practical jokes on, Quigley Smitty. "Hello, Smitty." You said sweetly knowing it would unnerve him.

"Hello Mini Bradford." He said

"How are you?" You asked and he eyed you suspiciously.

"Fine." He said and you smiled.

"That's good. I'll see you around." You said and winked at him and walked off. He shivered you had played some pranks on him that made him scared of you. As you were walking further into the station you saw your dad. "Hey, Dad!" You said enthusiastically and he turned around and smiled.

"Hey, Sweetheart. How was practice?" He asked

"It was good. Coach had to tend to a family emergency and the assistant coach is out sick along with his wife." You said and he nodded. He knew the coaches and knew they wouldn't miss anything unless absolutely necessary.

"So who is going to be coaching you?" He asked as Lucy came up along with Angela and Harper.

"Oh you are." You said just so casually.

"Wait what?" He asked surprised.

"Yea they needed someone and I volunteered you." You said and the three girls snickered.

"What?" He asked turning to them.

"Oh it's nothing really but I can't see you coaching." Lucy said trying not to laugh.

"Well get used to it because you're helping him." You said smirking and her laughing stopped.

"What? Seriously?" She asked and you nodded and now it was his turn to laugh. "You know what? I would love to teach your team with you." Lucy said and you smiled.

"Thank you." You said

"Sweetheart, you know I would love coach too. You just took me by surprise." He said and you nodded.

"I know but none of the other parents know what they're doing but I knew you did. So, I volunteered you." You said now feeling guilty for now talking it over with him but they needed a decision right then and there. "I'm sorry for not talking to you about it. They needed someone right then and there." You said and everyone's heart broke.

"It's ok really. Lucy and I would love to coach you. It's not a problem." Your dad said and Lucy nodded.

"He's right. We would love to do anything for you." Lucy said and you looked at the two of them.

"Really?" You asked and they nodded.

"Although Tim may be a hard ass he would do anything for you, Y/N." Angela said

"She's right. When is next practice?" He asked

"Tomorrow at 8 AM. We don't stop until 3 PM." You said and they nodded.

"Perfect. Now go into Grey's office and wait until the shift is over." Your dad said and you nodded and headed off that way.

"You coaching? I would love to see this." Harper said smirking.

"I love coaching. You'll see it her next game." He said and then walked off. Lucy stayed behind and was about to say something but Tim's voice sounded "Chen!" He yelled.

"Uh yup! I'm coming!" She yelled back and took off after him.

"This is going to be interesting." Angela said

"You know it." Harper said and they walked off together talking about their recent case.

---------------------------------------------------

The next morning bright and early you were at the field with your team and Lucy. Everyone was on the field and they gathered around your dad and Lucy. "So what do you all do first?" Lucy asked.

"We usually stretch and then some of us start with some passing. The rest usually go with batting along and then some pitching and catching." Millie, your friend and main catcher, said your dad and Lucy nodded.

"Alright, we'll start with that. How many goes where usually?" Lucy asked before he could even though he knew the answer.

"Usually we have three groups of three practicing. 3 passing, 3 batting, and 3 pitching and catching." Samantha said and again they nodded.

"Alright get to stretching. We're going to need a third person." Your dad said and everyone scattered.

"Ok." Lucy thought "What about Harper and Angela?" She asked and Tim laughed.

"Yeah, that's a no-go." Tim said

"Nolan?" She asked

"He would be too nice to say no. Give him a call." Tim said and Lucy nodded and headed off to call him as Tim started to instruct on exercises.

6 minutes later Nolan was rolling up to the field with his fiancée Bailey Nune. You loved them both and were so happy to have them here. Tim gave him the run down and practice was started. Tim had tried not to be a hard ass because that's how his father was but he was organized and your team was really good. He wasn't surprised and neither was Lucy, Nolan, or Bailey because they had seen your team play and man were you guys good. You were only 5th graders and already good your goal was to play throughout middle school and high school.

Now that there was an extra person to help real practice began. You, Millie, and Samantha went with Tim to start practicing passing. Three went with Lucy to start batting. The last three went with Bailey and Nolan to start pitching and catching. Once the amount of time your dad thought was needed for each was up the groups switched. Breaks were given in between if needed.

Practice went really well. Some parents showed up and some had to work so they got a ride with a friend. Tim was afraid that he was going to need to be a hard ass but it turned out that was not the case and he knew that deep down but he was still afraid. "Alright girls! Bring it in!" Your dad yelled and everyone came in. "For the last few minutes of practice we're gonna run some plays. I'll be batting and Y/N will be pitching. Then we'll be switching it up and I will be hitting the ball to certain parts of the field." He added and everyone nodded.

"Got it!" Everyone said and you all were heading to your positions. Lucy, Bailey, and Nolan all stood to the side and the drill started. You started to pitch and some of them he could hit and others he couldn't and he was proud of that. After a few minutes of that it was time for him to hit the ball to different positions.

"Outfield!" He yelled and hit the ball and it went to the outfield and Amy got it threw it into Millie and it was a hard and fast throw and Lucy was impressed. "Good work!" Your dad yelled out and you smiled. "Alright infield!" He yelled and hit it directly at you and you got it then you passed it to, Christine, first base and then she passed it to Jennifer, third base, and then she finally passed it to Elizabeth, second base. Then the ball was passed back to you. That drill was practiced a few more times and different ways and then practice was over. Everyone huddled in.

"Great work guys. I'm impressed." Lucy said and everyone smiled.

"Thank you." Everyone said

"Next game is when?" Nolan asked

"Friday. Noon. Here." You replied and he nodded. More information was given and then everyone was breaking for the end of practice. You couldn't wait for the next game. The team you were going up against was at the same level your team was and it made you nervous but you had faith in your team and knew everything was going to be great.

On the ride home your father had stopped at your favorite place to eat and got you lunch/supper and then you both were headed home. "You did great. Everyone did great." He said and you smiled.

"Thank you that means so much to me and us. We work hard and we love the game." You said as he pulled into the driveway.

"That's what makes the game fun. I know it is a way for you to cope from when your mom left and I'm sorry for that." He said as he killed the engine and you shook your head.

"It's not your fault she loved being undercover more than her family. You don't think she'll show up do you?" You asked

"Do you want her to?" He questioned

"Would it be bad if I said not really?" You asked and he shook his head and smiled at you sympathetically.

"No, Sweetheart. Not at all." He said and you nodded "Lets go and eat and then spend the evening together binge watching our favorite show together." He added and you nodded and hugged him.

"Thank you, Dad." You said and he smiled.

"Anytime, Sweetheart." He said and kissed you sweaty head. "On second thought maybe you should take a shower after you eat. You're gross." He said and you slightly hit him.

"Rude." You said and he laughed.

"I was just joking. Seriously though you need to take a shower before after we eat." He said and you chuckled.

"I know." You said and the both of you went inside and ate. You then took a shower and then spent the evening together watching your favorite show together.

---------------------------------------------------

Friday came around and it was game day and you were nervous and felt that something was going to go wrong. You didn't want to bring this up to your dad because he had a lot going on right now and you knew that he would overreact. So you put on a brave face and got ready to go to the field.

When you got to the field some of your teammates were already there. Once you got there the rest of the team arrived along with Lucy, Nolan, and Bailey. Your dad had you guys practice some. Once he thought you all had enough it was time to rest and get ready to play. As you were resting and talking with your teammates you saw Grey, Luna, Angela, Wesley, Harper, James, Celina, and Aaron show up and you smiled and waved when they saw you. Your dad, Lucy, Nolan, and Bailey saw them too and they walked over. Everyone greeted each other and chit chatted and then it was time for the two teams to take the field. First up to pitch was your team.

You pitched and struck most of them out and the ones that got a hit were caught or tagged out. That feeling of something going wrong was pushed to the back of your mind and you were focused on the game. There had been a few close calls but you either ducked in time or caught the ball. You caught the ball in some fancy ways and everyone was impressed.

You had just pitched the ball and the other team hit it. The ball came back at you and you got it backhanded and then threw it. There was a player on first and when you pitched the second pitch they started to run the ball came to you and you caught it high and spun around and threw it to Christine, everyone cheered and you smiled. The third pitch was contacted with the bat and once again came to you and it was low so you dived for it and caught it and while still on the ground you threw it to Christine making sure the batter was out. That was three outs and it was your team's turn to bat. Your dad had been supportive and loving all the plays that were happening. As you headed to the dugout to change out gear and grab your bat. "Damn Tim you got yourself a real star there." Wesley said and that made him smile.

"I sure do." He replied

"I have to admit that you're really good at coaching." Harper said admitting defeat.

"He is amazing. I think he should keep coaching when he can." Lucy said and your dad laughed.

"This is a one time deal. I would rather be on the other side of the fence." He said

"Oh come on. You have to admit this is a little fun." Nolan said as he tended to the team with water bottles and words of encouragement.

"It is really fun." Bailey said

"Yes it is fun but I know that I'll just push it to far one time. I don't feel like ruining that relationship with Y/N/N.

"That's understandable." Grey said and Luna nodded and hugged his side.

"I have a bad feeling that something is going to happen." Celina said

"Everything is going to be fine." Aaron said but she was still apprehensive about it.

"I'm sure they wouldn't put these kids in danger. Right, Tim?" Angela asked

"That's right their priority and safety comes first but accidents do happen." He replied

"They're doing great." James said and your dad smiled.

"That they are." He said and then it was time to get back to the game. The other team may be good but your team was better. Each pitch was hit and runners were on base. Before you knew it the game was 4-0 with your team leading. It was your time to bat and you were nervous but you had to do this for your team. You took a few practice swings and could hear the parents and the others cheering you on. The ball was pitched and you swung, your bat made contact with the ball and it was out of the park giving you a homerun and sending the player on base home. The score was now 6-0 with your team leading.

Finally it was your turn to pitch again and the game was coming to a close. You threw a few warm-up pitches and then it was game on. The first few pitches were good and nothing had happened but that feeling something bad was going to happen came back. You threw the pitch and the other player hit the ball and it was a line drive to you and you tried to catch it but it hit you in the face and took you down. The crowd made a noise of hurt. You were grabbed the ball and threw it to Christine even though you were in pain. Then you were collapsing in pain and was close to blacking out and as your dad arrived with the others and the other coaches you were out cold and not moving. Bailey jumped into action. "Y/N can you hear me?" She asked but got no response.

"Y/N. Sweetheart." Your dad said but again no response.

"Call 911." Lucy said looking up at anyone.

"Already on it." Grey said as he had his phone to his ear. He walked slightly away and in a few seconds came back. "They'll be here in 2 minutes." He said.

"She's breathing and has a strong pulse." Bailey said but you still hadn't woken up and that sacred your dad. There was blood running down your face. "It looked like she got hit in the temple." She said and everyone nodded and agreed. "She was conscious enough to throw the ball so that is good." She said.

"I think she hit her head going down too. It would explain the blood." Angela said. The others had gone out to get direct the paramedics to you and they had just rolled in and onto the field. They assed you and Bailey gave them the run down and then they were loading you onto the gurney and taking you off the field and into the ambulance. The umpires called the game and your team ended up winning. Now it was a trip to the hospital. Tim rode with you while everyone stayed back to wrap things up and then they would be meeting you at the hospital.

---------------------------------------------------

They had taken you back fairly quickly leaving your dad in the waiting room. About 10 minutes later the others were joining him. "Any news?" Harper asked and your dad shook his head.

"No they took her back to run some tests but she hasn't woken up." He said

"Oh man. This sucks." Aaron said and everyone nodded.

"She's going to be ok." Grey said

"I agree. Have you seen who her dad is?" Lucy asked smiling and everyone chuckled.

"Thanks guys." He said

"Anytime." Angela said and just about that time your doctor came out.

"Bradford?" He asked and your dad was standing up and fast.

"That's me. I'm her father." He said and the doctor nodded.

"I'm Dr. Tango. You have one strong little girl. She's awake and just has a concussion. It seems like she passed out because that is how her body was dealing with the stress. I want to keep her overnight and check in on her in the morning. She's awake now and she can sleep but she'll need to be woken up every few hours and asked questions and monitored for any signs of change in how she looks or acts." Dr. Tango said and he nodded.

"Can we see her now?" Your dad asked and Dr. Tango nodded.

"I'll have a nurse lead you to her room." He said and he did just that. When they reached you, you looked so out of it but when you saw your dad you lit up.

"Daddy?" You asked and he smiled with tears in his eyes and he walked over to you.

"Hey, Sweetheart you scared us." He said

"I'm sorry." You said and he shook his head.

"Nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault. Accidents happen." He said

"I knew something bad was going to happen but didn't want to tell you." You said and he smiled and shook his head "What?" You asked.

"Celina had a feeling something was going to happen to." He said and you looked over at her.

"I knew I liked her." You said smiling and everyone chuckled and she came over and hugged you. "Thank you everyone." You added as she pulled away.

"For what?" Bailey asked

"For being there at the game and helping me." You said

"We would've done it even if you weren't playing. You're our everything." Angela said and you smiled.

The rest of the day/night in the hospital was filled with games, food, chit chat, sleep and yes being woken up every few hours and asked the most simplest questions it was annoying but you knew it was necessary. When it was time for everyone to go home it was just you and your dad. You yawned and he smiled. "Go to sleep. I'll wake you up when I need to." He said and you nodded and laid down. As you were drifting off to sleep your mind drifted at the love and support you had and that made you feel good inside and smile.

"Dad?" You asked and he looked up from his phone.

"Yes, Sweetheart?" He asked

"I love you." You said and he smiled and leaned up and kissed you forehead.

"I love you too." He said as you closed your eyes and leaned into him. Yeah you had a pretty good support system and you weren't letting them go any time soon. No matter what the world threw at you.

Tag list:

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@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

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@callsign-revenge

[crimeronan]

my dad was on his best behavior tonight. i met him and his new wife. he has a white beard now and looks like every grizzled fisherman in an old sea myth. it was awkward but my siblings carried the conversation (as i was typing that sentence, my sister called to debrief and said "yeah, that was my goal, just to keep talking.") my dad's new wife repeatedly hassled both of my siblings about settling down and having kids, but left me alone, presumably because i'm Butch Dyke. my brother mentioned doing volunteer work with foreign students at college and she went, "oh, are they illegals?" which was the only really nasty reminder of Who These People Are. then when my brother said he'd been talking to a friend, she went, "oh, a giiiiirl?" and he got the meanest look on his face and flatly went, "no. they're nonbinary." truly taking one for the team in terms of being the most problematic one at the dinner table.

dad told several stories about when i was in elementary school, since that's the last time i was his daughter. he reminded me that a lot of who i am now comes directly from him in ways that aren't Always bad. he was the one who told me to beat the shit out of anyone who harassed me or my friends. he was the one who taught me how to fight. he was the one who impressed upon me that i'm ruthless before i'm ever a woman, however much he may regret that now.

i put on my best high-pitched all-american cheerleader appeasement voice for all of dinner, and his wife said, "oh, you sound just like your mother! your voice.... it's so strange" thank you ma'am. it's because my mother and i both know how to win.

[berzahoes]

show and tell | john frusciante

summary: john and the reader’s daughter takes something personal for show and tell

warnings: just a few curse words

an: also i just a random name for the daughter, you can totally change it to whatever you’d like :) (to be honest, i was watching the crown when i wrote this soooo)

“shit! shit! fuck!”

yours and john’s daughter, diana, was eating her breakfast, but she couldn’t help but listen to the words coming out of her mother’s mouth. she knew wasn’t supposed to repeat them so she didn’t.

“no, john, when i say i looked everywhere i mean it!“ you spoke into the phone. you looked at your daughter, who smiled back at you. “i have to take diana to school, it’s show and tell say and she wants me to stay to see what she brought.”

“what is it?” john asked. he was in the studio with the chili peppers recording some songs for their upcoming album.

“she won’t tell me. my bet is the tooth that fell out last week.” you chuckled as you approached your daughter and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“it’s not a tooth!” diana said teasingly.

“say goodbye to dad, you and i need to get to school right now or we’ll be late.” you passed the phone to her so she could say goodbye to john.

“bye daddy! i’m telling mommy to record me so she can show you what i brought for show and tell.” the little girl said.

“okay, make sure she record everything. i love you, di, have a great day at school.” john said. you put the phone back to your ear so you could continue your conversation with your husband.

“i’ll keep searching, but i promise you i have looked everywhere in this damn house. it literally looks like a tornado came through here.”

“i’m sure it’s under the couch or in one of your jewelry boxes, babe. i’ll help look when i get home.”

after saying multiple i love you’s and goodbye to john, you and diana were on the way to school. every school morning, diana begged you to play the chili peppers so you did, at least her favorite songs. she would always sing along to the zephyr song and dark necessities. as you parked in your usual parking spot in front of the elementary school, you made sure you had your purse and phone with you.

diana had gotten out of the car and practically sprinted towards her best friend, lucy, who had brought her father’s firefighter helmet. lucy’s mom had spotted you and gave you a hug.

“what’s wrong? you look tired and stressed. you need a red bull? i always carry extra in here.” lucy’s mom said. she was always seen with energy drinks, something you couldn’t even drink no matter how tired you were.

“i can’t find my wedding ring. and i can’t replace it because it was john’s grandmother’s ring.” you showed your left hand which was supposed to have an old but beautiful silver ring that john had given you years ago when you said i do.

“oh, sweetheart. did you tell john?”

“of course i told him. i don’t keep secrets from him ever. he’s not mad, he even said he’d help look for it after he gets home from the studio. i just hope it’s not lost forever.”

you two entered the elementary school ready to get the show and tell part of the day over with. all the parents that decided to join were stuck sitting in the back in the most uncomfortable tiny chairs. you sat next to lucy’s mom.

“you remember that birthday party the girls went to last month. the one with the bouncy house and ball pit?” lucy’s mom asked.

“yeah, the newman’s right? what about it?” you asked, unsure why she even brought it up.

“mr. newman is staring right at you. i heard he already asked for a divorce. he’s taking that big fancy truck he got for mrs. newman last year. he probably saw your naked hand and think you and john are headed for that divorce too.”

“okay class and parents! we are going to begin with our show and tell. firstly, I want to thank the parents for showing up and our students for bringing their items. i can see you are all very excited so let’s begin. any volunteers?” the teacher asked.

diana’s hand was the first to go up so naturally the teacher let her go first. she stood up from the carpet and faced her classmates. the teacher saw that she didn’t have anything to show so she was confused until she saw the little girl reach into her pocket and pull out something.

“diana, what did you bring for show and tell?”

you had taken out your phone and started recording like you promised you would. you smiled as diana started her presentation.

“for show and tell, i brought something that is really special in my house. i brought my mommy’s wedding ring!”

you almost dropped your phone as soon as you heard diana. so she had your ring this whole time. still, you continue recording.

“that’s lovely, and what can you tell us about it?” the teacher asked.

“so my daddy gave it to my mommy many years ago. they gave each other rings because they love each other. but before this ring belonged to my mommy, it used to be my great-great-great-”

“just one great, honey! just one.” you said holding up your finger to signal to her.

“oh. ok, it was my great-grandmother’s ring. i never met her, but my daddy was told by her that he could only give this ring to the person he loves most in the whole world and i wasn’t born yet so he obviously gave it to my mommy. on the inside it has her name and my daddy’s name.” diana said with the biggest smile on her face.

“that’s wonderful, diana. class does anyone have questions?” the teacher directed her attention to the kids. a few hands went up. one by one, each student asked their question with diana trying her best to answer them.

“i have one.” you raised your hand and you passed your phone to lucy’s mom so she could record. “how did you get your mommy’s ring?”

diana didn’t say anything, she just started giggling and ran towards you so she could give you a hug. “i’m sorry i took your ring without asking.”

“it’s okay, baby. you just have to let me know, i was going crazy looking for my ring.” you kissed her cheek. she stuck out her hand so diana could slide the ring on. “thank you, di.”

“looks like mr. divorced man didn’t like that one but.” the two older women held in their laughter as mr. newman looked disappointed by the news that you were still happily married.

“oh shoot, i’m still recording!”

when you and diana got home, john was already home cleaning the ‘tornado’ mess that you had left that morning. diana ran up to her dad and hugged him.

“guess what our daughter took to show and tell?” you waved your hand in front of his face to show him the ring.

“at least she took this. last week i heard her she wanted to take the chili peppers to show and tell.” john laughed as he kissed diana’s temple. she then ran off to the kitchen to get her after school snack.

“like a record?” you question.

“no, the band. she was asking the guys if they were available to come to her classroom to show everyone how cool were uncles are.”

“she can take them to the next show and tell just as long as she doesn’t take anymore of my stuff.” you said as you took a seat in the neatly made couch, thanks to john.

“mr. newman was staring at mommy! and he’s mad that you guys are still married!” diana yelled as she ran to her room with fruit snacks in her hand.

“what goes on in show and tell?” john asked.

“too much.”

[stonesparrow]

Puella Magi Yuzuriha Magica Ch. 1: Springtime of Youth

Yeeep, I'm finally (very, very slowly) writing out my Dr. Stone x Puella Magi Madoka Magica fic, which currently exists in a truncated summary form. @yimuno, this one's for you! I'll also be posting this on my ao3.

“There we go,” Yuzuriha said as she set down the dish of water on the Koizumis’ porch. “Maybe if that kitty you saw gets comfortable enough to come up and have a drink, we could eventually catch it and take it to the shelter.”

“That’d be great!” Suika nodded. “Suika feels so bad for it, sleeping out there in the cold and the rain…”

“Well, at least it’s getting warmer,” Yuzuriha said comfortingly, patting the little bespectacled girl on her head. “Come on, let’s go finish your homework, okay?”

Babysitting a nine year old on top of dealing with the hectic first few weeks of high school was definitely a challenge, but Yuzuriha was pretty content with how things were going, she thought to herself as she made her way home after Suika’s parents showed up. Besides, there was a lot to look forward to this year—making new friends, planning new projects, the possibilities were endless!

After dinner and finishing her own homework, Yuzuriha decided to pass the time by sketching out a dress inspired by the spring flowers she’d passed by. Something to represent new life and new opportunities, maybe…

At that moment, her phone pinged with a new message from Senku. 

Yo, you got a minute?

Yuzuriha set down her pencil. 

Sure, what’s up?

Ok, you remember how I said Dad and I have been helping Lillian’s brother-in-law and his family move to Tokyo because his older daughter is being moved to a hospital here?

Yeah? It was still kind of surreal that Senku’s stepmom was none other than global superstar Lillian Weinberg! 

Well I was wondering if you could help the younger daughter settle in. She’s going to enroll in Hirosue with us, but she’s never attended such a big school, and with her sister going through new treatment she could probably use some extra support.

Yuzuriha blinked. Wow yeah that does sound rough. Why me though? I mean, you know her better than I do.

Kohaku and I get along fine, but I don’t know her that well. Step-cousins isn’t a relationship that makes you super close with someone. And frankly, I’m not the best person to talk to about personal problems and junk. You’re ten billion percent better at that, and she’s also going to be in your class, so Taiju and I aren’t going to see as much of her throughout the day.

Yuzuriha hummed. I suppose that makes sense. The corner of her mouth turned up. It’s really sweet of you to think of her well being like this. 

Hey, I’m just being logical about this situation, it’s not like I thought about this a whole lot. 

Yuzuriha laughed. Right, of course. When is she coming to school?

Monday. She’ll be taking the train with us and Taiju, so I’ll introduce you then. 

Sounds good!

An hour later, as Yuzuriha was getting ready for bed, her phone pinged again.

Thanks.

Yuzuriha smiled. 

No problem. 

The weekend passed as normal, and on Monday Yuzuriha headed out to meet up with Senku and Taiju at the train station as she always did. With them was a blonde girl with her hair up in a ponytail, wearing a cool expression as Senku introduced them.

“There you are. Kohaku, this is the friend I was talking about.”

“Ogawa Yuzuriha-san, right?” she said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh you don’t have to worry about that!” Yuzuriha exclaimed. “Feel free to call me Yuzuriha, I really don’t mind!”

All of a sudden, Kohaku’s shoulders relaxed. “Oh. Okay.” She grinned. “Then call me Kohaku!”

The ride to the train station gave them more of an opportunity to get to know each other, and Yuzuriha learned that Kohaku loved sports, action-packed manga, and volunteering at the daycare in her hometown.

“Oh!” Yuzuriha said. “I babysit this elementary schooler on Fridays, maybe you could help me out next time!”

Other than that one bit though, it seemed that Yuzuriha and Kohaku didn’t have a ton in common. That didn’t mean they didn’t get along though, and when they finally got to school Yuzuriha noticed that Kohaku stuck pretty closely to her throughout the day. Like Senku said, it seemed she wasn’t sure how to interact with so many strangers so quickly, and she relaxed a lot when they went up to the roof to eat with Senku and Taiju. Other than that, she was pretty energetic and greeted every new challenge and introduction with gusto. You wouldn’t really have noticed she was a little uneasy if you hadn’t been looking out for it, Yuzuriha thought. 

She did also conspicuously leave out any mention of a sick sister when asked why she moved to Tokyo, though. 

After school and clubs Taiju had to go help his grandmother move a new couch into their house (very exciting, the Okis hardly ever got anything new), and Senku had to talk to his dad about setting new boundaries around gasoline experiments, so Yuzuriha invited Kohaku over to her place so they could watch some anime together, which she readily agreed to.

“You know,” Kohaku said as they started walking to Yuzuriha’s place. “One thing I do like about the city is that there’s a lot more to see here than there is in the countryside. Some days I swore I’d die of boredom out there, running the same trails over and over and over, watching the same channels…it’s cool.”

“I’m glad,” Yuzuriha smiled. “Is your family enjoying the new scenery too?”

Kohaku was quiet for a moment. “...Yeah, I’d say so. Ruri says it’s nice to have a different window view than the one she’d been stuck with for ten years.”

Yuzuriha blinked. Oh, right. “I’m sorry, I—”

Kohaku put her hands behind her head. “Nah, it’s fine. You didn’t mean anything by it.” she sighed and looked out into the distance. “Honestly part of the reason I was glad to move here was because no one looks at me with pity. Everyone back home knows about Ruri’s illness, and it drove me insane with how they’d talk about her, about me. It’s refreshing to talk to people who don’t know.”

“Oh. Well…that’s good then,” Yuzuriha said awkwardly. 

“Yeah.” Kohaku smiled. “Anyway, tell me about that dress project you mentioned!”

“Ah, well!”

As Yuzuriha explained her plans for her latest spring project, the wind started to pick up, and the ribbon from Kohaku’s uniform unraveled. 

“Whoa!” Kohaku reached out for it as it started to blow away, but then suddenly a small white creature darted out from a bush and snatched it out of the air with its mouth. 

“What the—” Yuzuriha gasped as the creature landed and started running down the street. “What was that?!” 

“Whatever it is, it’s got some nerve stealing my stuff!” Kohaku said, dropping her bag and taking off after the creature

“Hey, wait!” Yuzuriha picked up Kohaku’s bag and ran after her. “Your bag!”

Keeping up with Kohaku proved to be rather difficult—Yuzuriha was totally out of breath by the time she caught up, the blonde girl standing firmly in front of the little thief in an alley, blocking its escape. “Geez, you sure are athletic, Kohaku-chan…”

“Gotcha,” Kohaku said, smacking her fist into her palm. “Drop the ribbon, little fella, and maybe I’ll let you go.”

“Wait…” Yuzuriha blinked. “What is it?” The creature was about the size of a cat, and had catlike ears…but it also had long floppy ribbon-like structures coming down from those ears, with rosy pink at the ends that matched its round, glassy eyes. There were also strange golden rings around the floppy tendrils that appeared to be floating midair. Its fluffy white tail flicked back and forth as it stared up at the girls, Kohaku’s ribbon still hanging from it’s mouth. It also did not appear to have a nose.

“...Huh.” Kohaku frowned. “It’s not like any cat I’ve ever seen before, that’s for sure.”

“I don’t think it’s even a cat,” Yuzuriha said, crouching down and squinting at the creature. “At least…I mean, it doesn’t have any whiskers.”

“Well it doesn’t matter what it is, it’s got my ribbon,” Kohaku said. “Come on now, you can’t eat that!”

The creature dropped the ribbon at Kohaku’s feet, then looked up at her and tilted its head. 

“Hello. Would you like to make a wish?”

Yuzuriha and Kohaku blinked. 

“EH?!”

[doctorstethoscope]

The Right Chapter 17 || Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Hello my loves, just a reminder that I am still on vacation so the queue is posting this! Will respond to ur taglist requests and messages ASAP love u all :) 

Read previous chapters of this fic here!

contains: canon-typical descriptions of death, violence, drug use

wordcount: 2k

You and Aaron each read Jack a book of his choosing before tucking him into bed and heading towards Aaron’s bedroom together. Bringing your pajamas into the bathroom, you change and brush your teeth with the door closed, which feels silly, given everything, but you can’t help it.  Aaron slips into the bathroom as you step out, and you sit on top of the covers, hands folded in your lap, anxiously awaiting his return. 

“What’s going on, sweetheart?” he asks, clocking your anxiety immediately. 

“Nothing, I just feel bad that I got us caught by Jack,” you confessed, looking down at the comforter. 

“I couldn’t be less upset about that,” he assures you, climbing into bed beside you and taking your hand in his. “I mean, he practically told us that he already knew, even if he was a little confused.” 

“That was the other thing-- sorry that marriage and all of that got brought up. I’m sure that was---”

“I’m not upset about that, either.” He interrupts you. “Did I do something to make you think I was upset?”

“No, no,” you assured him. “It’s just kind of early for that kind of stuff, I’m sure it was uncomfortable--”

“It wasn’t uncomfortable. Apparently I’ve done a bad job of expressing how strongly I care for you, and I’m sorry for that.” You go to interrupt, but he cuts you off. “I couldn’t be happier that Jack knows how much I love you. Sharing that with our people-- my son, and our team-- is not something you need to apologize for, or something I’m ashamed of. I’m thrilled to be able to love you openly. No more apologies, okay?” 

Your breath caught just a little, but you hold it together. “No more apologies,” you agreed. “Aaron, it’s such a privilege to be loved by you,” you whispered, needing him to know how much his words meant to you but scared to ruin the moment. Aaron just shook his head, leaning to press a kiss to the top of your head. 

“The pleasure’s all mine,” he whispers into your hair, and you close your eyes, letting the peace of his touch overwhelm you. 

“There’s one more thing,” you said, after a moment. 

“And it’s not an apology?” Aaron checks. 

“No, it’s not an apology,” you assure him. “I wanted to thank you for sharing those pictures with Jack and me tonight. I’m sure it was emotional, but I was glad to see them. You love Haley so much. Thank you for sharing her memory with me.” 

“She was the reason I got up in the morning, from the day I met her until the day she died.” Aaron tells you, and you squeeze his hand.

“Everyone knew how much you loved her, Aaron. Even after the divorce, there wasn’t a single person at the bureau who knew a man who loved his wife that much.” You assured him.

“But it wasn’t enough. I failed her, and I could fail you too.”

“No, Aaron, no you didn’t. You promised to love her for as long as you lived, and you didn’t break that promise. You didn’t promise her you’d never change, and she never promised you that she’d never change. You both changed, but you never stopped loving each other.” You told him.

“How did you know? How did you know that I never stopped loving her? Didn’t that scare you out of loving me?’ Aaron whispered. 

“Aaron, the way you love her shows in everything you do. You never took a picture of her down, even after the divorce, when I’m sure they were painful to look at. You always let her know you were safe at night, and when she left you, you helped her move and made sure she had everything you needed.” 

“And that doesn’t scare you? That even when she left me, I still loved her?” 

“No, Aaron, it doesn’t scare me. That’s how I feel about you, so I understand.” 

“You don’t mean that,” Aaron says immediately-- how could you mean that? When Haley was so refined, so beautiful, so compassionate, and he was just a man, a man with baggage and trauma and a dark past?

“Of course I do, Aaron. I never told you this, and I might be selfish in telling you now-- but in the weeks after Haley died, I went to bed at night praying that time would move backwards and that I could take her place. I’d do anything to get her back to you, even if it meant that you and I never made it here.” 

“It’s an incredible privilege to be loved by you,” Aaron echoes your earlier statement, and you smile.

When you wake up the next morning, you realize that you’re never going to get a good night’s sleep without Aaron beside you again, and you love him and hate him for it in equal measure. Your anger is quickly forgotten when he rolls over and starts planting kisses across your face. 

“We have to get Jack to school,” you reminded him with a smile between kisses.

“We’ve got time,” he brushes you off. 

“You’ve got time, maybe. My hair is a mess from napping on your couch and I have to do my makeup,” you reminded him, planting one final kiss on his lips before rolling out of bed and heading towards the bathroom.

When you’ve gotten yourself ready for the day, you make your way out to the kitchen, were Jack is sitting in front of a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of orange juice. 

“Morning, little man,” you said, ruffling his hair and smoothing it back down as you sat in the seat next to him. Aaron crosses the kitchen with two plates, putting a piece of toast with peanut butter and banana slices in front of you, and one on his own placemat. 

“Thanks, honey,” You smile, taking a bite of your breakfast as he sits.

“Dad? Can we go to the soccer field tonight after work?” Jack asks as his father settles in.

“I can’t promise tonight, but we can definitely go this week, okay bud?” 

“Okay.” 

“Finish your breakfast, kiddo, or you’re gonna be late,” you told him, taking your plate to the sink and prepping travel mugs of coffee for you and Aaron, who shepherds Jack through the last few steps of getting out the door. You follow them down to the car and Aaron drives down the road to Jack’s school. You sit in the carpool line for a minute, listening to Jack point out his friends as they walk into the building, before Aaron pulls up to the curb and it’s Jack’s turn to get out. Aaron rolls down the window as Jack collects his things. 

“It’s good to see you, Mr. Hotchner,” a peppy brunette woman who you’re pretty sure is Jack’s teacher ducks down to make eye contact with Aaron through the window.

“Good morning, Ms. Meadows.”

‘Oh, and who’s this?” Ms. Meadows says, taking note of you for the first time. Aaron introduces the two of you, and you notice her looking you up and down, almost sizing you up. 

“Nice to meet you,” she says perfunctorily, turning her attention back to Aaron almost in an instant. “Did Jack tell you about the volunteer sign ups for the kids’ talent show?” 

“He did, I think his Aunt Jess--”

“Oh, that’s right, Jess did mention to me that she’d be here!” Ms. Meadows interrupts. “I guess I was just hoping to get some strong FBI dads in the building to help set up the stage equipment,” she pouts, and you briefly entertain the thought of leaning over the center console and wiping the pleading look across her face. 

“Well, I’ll see what I can do,” Aaron says, blissfully interrupted by Jack waiting to give him and you a kiss goodbye. The two of you kiss both of his cheeks, and he hops out of the backseat and takes off towards the main entrance. 

“She was pleasant,” you note sarcastically when Aaron pulls out of the parking lot.

“What do you mean?” Aaron asked, looking over at you briefly, his nose scrunched up in confusion. 

“She’s clearly into you, Aaron.” You said, knowing it was obvious and he was just being oblivious. 

“What? No she’s not,” Aaron shook his head. 

“Oh, Mr. Hotchner, please come save me from the Woodbridge Elementary School talent show. I need your big, strong muscles to move all this heavy equipment because I’m just a docile young lady,” you mimicked Jack’s teacher in an exaggerated tone. 

“Now, if she had said that, then maybe I would have thought she was into me,” Aaron laughs at your dramatics. 

“She gave me a nasty look. She doesn’t like that she has competition.” You argue. 

“She doesn’t have competition. I mean, there is no competition. There’s just you, and that’s how I like it,” he said, taking one hand off the steering wheel to grab yours and bring it to his lips. 

Garcia is waiting for you both in Aaron’s office when you arrive at work.

“Is everything okay?” You ask her immediately, feeling Aaron shift his body towards yours.

“I finished digging up everything I could on Josh, if you want to see it.” She tells you both, and you look at Aaron. Truth be told, you don’t really want to know, but being disgusted and informed is probably better than being uninformed and caught off guard. 

“Come on, we’ll go review it in your office.” Aaron said, stepping aside to let Garcia lead the way. Once she is a few paces ahead, he leans down to whisper in your ear. “I’ve got you. You’re safe, and you just tell me if you need to take a break, okay?”

You nodded, and Aaron place a comforting hand on your back as the two of you made your way down to the batcave. 

“Okay, so, just going through the highlights,” Garcia starts, clicking at tabs and pulling them up on her assortment of monitors throughout the room.  “Starting a few weeks before you left, I noticed that Josh was calling and texting the same number a lot-- but only when you all were off fighting crime. Of course, I assumed that this absolute peach of a man had somehow conned not one but two women who had to be decidedly out of his league, but it turns out that wasn’t the case. He’s been doing coke, and the number leads to his dealer.” 

“Fuck, again?” You interrupted her.

“He was doing coke when the two of you were together?” Aaron asked, surprised. 

“Not for a while, or so I thought. The coke was what made him violent-- I told him it was the drugs or me, and when he told me that he’d picked me, I believed him.” You explained. “He must have been high when he showed up that night-- he was always an asshole but showing up like that was out of character.” 

“So, with you out of the picture, it seems like the coke usage has increased a lot. Like, from a weekly to a daily thing, a lot. He’s going out at night, racking massive credit card debt. He hasn’t purchased a firearm or anything that indicates that he might be planning something violent, but he’s definitely acting impulsive.” 

“Was he sober or high when he sent the flowers?” Aaron asks. 

“Sir, I don’t think he’s been sober since you took all of her stuff out of the apartment,” Garcia responds. 

“He’s only going to get more aggressive and out-of-touch with reality the longer this bender lasts,” you note, clinically, as if you were talking about a case halfway across the country and as if your future wasn’t hanging in the balance. 

“We’ll keep an eye on it, and we’ll be ready. Garcia, can you print out a full copy of this and get it on my desk?” 

“Are you sure? The full copy is really long, it’s got to be--” 

“I’m sure, Garcia. Thank you.”  

tagging:  @hotforhotchner11      @romanogersendgame @wanniiieeee      @zheezs14      @greeneyedblondie44 @angelic-kisses13  @baumarvel @ssamorganhotchner  @ijustwannaread2k19    @rexit-mo @msmarvelsmain @qtip-blog @averyhotchner  @the-modernmary @itsmytimetoodream @choppa-style @infinite-tides @isthatme-thatsme @g-l-pierce @bakugouswh0r3 @ssahotchie

[vroomvroommuppett]

how you meet

master list || tag list

TONY

rhodey was your adopted dad

he always wanted you to go to tony’s lavish parties

you weren’t a fan of parties

one night you reluctantly agree

you wore this dress

you were talking to natasha when tony came up to you

“well hello”

you rolled your eyes and started walking away

“i’m not interested stark”

you see your dad and walk over to him

he sees you and sees tony following

your dad sighs “he’s not leaving you alone is he”

“nope”

tony came up to the both of you

“so rhodes who’s this beautiful girl with you?”

“my adopted daughter?”

tony blinked a few times

“she’s - daughter - adopted - what?”

you and your dad laughed and said

“I MADE TONY STANK FLUSTERED!”

“so i never got your name”

you pulled out a business card

“y/n rhodes. call me”

with that you walked away and left the party

“i like her”

STEVE

you grew up in the red room with natasha and the two of you were practically sisters

so naturally she brought you to the towers because tony found out that you have the same type of skills as her

tony makes you a part of the team

when he and nat introduce you, for the first time since peggy, steve is flustered

natasha whispered something in your ear

“he never gets this flustered”

you chuckle and steve volunteers to give you a tour and you agree

after the two of you left, clint speaks up

“so how long do we think it’ll take for them to get together?”

“i hope soon”

BRUCE

the two of you met in elementary school and have been supportive of each other ever since

and yes you do know about his power

SAM

bucky introduced you two

“y/n/n, this is my teammate, sam wilson. sam, this is my friend y/n l/n”

“wait you’re bird brain?

“yes”

“well nice to finally meet you. bucky complains about you, a lot”

“oh does he now? why don’t you come with me and you can tel me all about what he says about me”

“sure”

you turn around and bucky flips you off

BUCKY

you two were hydra experiments

when you escaped, you helped him escape too and went to find steve

RHODEY

you were tony’s daughter so you kinda grew up with him

CLINT

the two of you met when he saw you in the tower

“who are you?”

“i’m y/n potts. i’m pepper’s little sister. and you’re clint barton”

“nice. i’m guessing she tells you all about us then?”

“yep”

“see you around potts”

yes ik some are shorter than the others - it’ll get better - please don’t come at me

@1-800-snapesimp

[syntheticpoetry]

The Ghosts That We Knew

See my original post on the origins of this story here!

Summary: Blaine Anderson is no stranger to hospitals and has been volunteering on the pediatric unit of Lima General Hospital for years when Kurt Hummel comes along.  After Blaine is attacked at his school's Sadie Hawkins Dance, he has his best friend Kurt to help him deal with the aftermath. And when Kurt becomes the target of the McKinley football team's bullying campaign, he can count on Blaine to have his back.

AU where Blaine transfers to McKinley instead of Dalton. Set during season 1.A story of two best friends finding courage to face their bullies and discovering love along the way.

Author’s Note: Blaine has a reason he has been in an out of the hospital since childhood that will be revealed, but if you are overly cautious of the level of angst surrounding it I can assure you it's nothing heartbreaking/super serious. It's actually quite common.  I cannot thank @esperantoauthor​ enough for beta reading this for me and really helping me whip it into shape!

AO3 Link || FFN Link

Chapter 1: Of Viral Videos and Disney Princes

The last time that Kurt Hummel remembers being in a hospital, he told his mother that he loved her for the last time.  

That was six years ago.  

As he walks through the lobby, towards the directory by the elevators, he keeps his gaze fixed forward, careful not to spare a glance at the waiting area to his right.  He spent so many months in that waiting room.  Entire seasons, multiple holidays spent watching people receive good news and bad news, with his father stoic and silent beside him as his mother underwent procedure after procedure.  Until it was their turn to be the family that received bad news.  The doctor sounded sincere as he said a lot of big words Kurt could not quite understand at the time, but he understood the look on his father’s face.  He took to studying the ugly designs on the carpet to distract from the tight clench in his father’s jaw, the way he kept himself so still and barely blinked through the entire explanation— Kurt knew, even at eight years old, what it was like to use up all of your willpower to hold yourself together for the sake of someone else.  To this day, he cannot look at paisley print without thinking back to that awful day.

Kurt scans the directory before punching the up button to call the elevator and folds his arms across his chest, tapping his foot as he awaits its arrival.  When he first heard about the volunteer program on the pediatric unit he was naturally hesitant to return to the place that held some of his worst memories.  He had been on the fence about it all summer, torn between the desire to give back to the hospital staff that had gone above and beyond in their attempts to cure his mother’s cancer and wanting to put as much distance as possible between himself and the place where they finally had to say goodbye to each other.

Until he saw that YouTube video.  

A curly-haired boy with big doe eyes and an unwavering grin, guitar in hand, leading a Disney themed sing-along with a group of elementary school age kids.  The warmth that spread through Kurt’s chest was almost overwhelming as he watched the boy march around the room performing Hakuna Matata with the parade of children trailing behind, mimicking him raucously and off-key.  It was the first time Kurt had really smiled in a long time.

So he had decided to look into the program.  Mostly because witnessing the boundless energy of pure joy from each child singing along in that video elicited memories of countless nights of living room performances with his own father, both of them puffy-eyed and exhausted but still managing to find the stamina to sing at the top of their lungs, using the furniture as stage props.  They were two lost souls attempting to cling to each other through tidal waves of insurmountable grief, and those nights together— well, those nights wereeverything to Kurt.  He had never felt closer to his father than when they were both breathless and laughing their way through the most eclectic collection of songs imaginable, hugging each other tightly at the end of each performance.  

And if Kurt happened to run into the boy from the video along the way, well, that would certainly just be an added bonus. Kurt did have eyes after all.  And there was no denying the boy’s natural charm or the air of confidence with which he carried himself.  

Truth be told, entering yet another school year with no friends was beginning to take its toll on Kurt and the possibility of finding camaraderie with a cute boy who seemingly shared similar interests was certainly enticing.

Ding!

The doors slide open before him revealing an empty elevator.  Kurt steps in and presses the button for the fourth floor.  He thinks about that video and jumping on armchairs and couches in his living room with his father for the entire ride up.

***

He has to be buzzed in to enter the unit, which he thinks is strange.  But the woman who greets him, a young nurse with bright green eyes and deep auburn hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, explains it is the protocol for all pediatric units in order to prevent children from wandering away or being kidnapped.  There are security bracelets around each patient’s ankle that trigger an alarm if they are taken past a bright yellow line painted on the floor.

“Who would kidnap sick kids from a hospital?” Kurt asks, looking absolutely horrified.

“You would be surprised at how common it is.  Parents fighting over custody, usually.”

He nods and guesses that makes sense, but the thought is still deeply unsettling.

The hallways are empty as she leads him to a room behind the nurse’s station.  The unit is certainly much different from the one his mother had been on.  The walls are covered in murals of different cartoon characters and scenes from popular storybooks.  While the nurse punches in a code, Kurt studies a painting of Rapunzel in a high stone tower, golden plaited hair strung over the edge of the window for a handsome prince at the bottom. The door buzzes and she holds it open for him.  “I’ll let my supervisor know you’re here.”

Kurt thanks her and takes a seat at one of the tables to wait.  On the far wall he spots a bulletin board covered in an overabundance of overlapping photos, hand-drawn pictures and a variety of cards both homemade and store-bought.  He casts a quick glance towards the door before crossing the room to investigate.  He cannot help but smile as he scans over the collection of memories, reminiscing back to his own pile of hand drawn cards for the staff on the oncology unit.  

Then something catches his eye.  

It’s the curly haired boy from the video.  He’s standing, guitar in hand with the strap over his shoulder, in the center of a group photo, surrounded by children of varying ages and the unit staff.  His outfit is different from the one in the video though.  He’s wearing baggy sweatpants and a printed T-shirt, only the edges of the otherwise obscured design visible from behind the guitar over his torso.  In the video he had certainly seemed more, well, put together, to say the least.  He had worn light grey slacks and a navy polo shirt accented with a white bow tie, which Kurt could not help but notice because he could count on one hand the amount of teenage boys he had ever seen wearing bow ties in the state of Ohio, himself included.  

Kurt wonders how often he comes by to visit and volunteer.  Maybe there is a chance they will be able to meet after all.

The faint beeping of the key code and jiggling of the door handle to his left draws his attention and he turns in time to see an older woman with ashy blonde hair and huge round glasses that take up half of her face walk in.  Her scrub top is printed with different Winnie the Pooh characters.  She smiles and approaches him, extending her hand.  “Hi, you must be Kurt.  I’m Jeannie; we spoke on the phone last week.”

“Oh! Yes,” Kurt shakes her hand.  “Nice to meet you.”

“Shall we?” She gestures to a table and Kurt takes a seat opposite her.  “So we just have to get some paperwork in order and then we can take a little tour around the unit so you can meet the kids.”

“Okay.”

“This is your first time volunteering, right?” She opens a Manila folder and begins rifling through a large stack of papers.

“Yes.”

“What drew you to it?”

Kurt steals a glance towards the bulletin board, lips curling up into a half-smile.  “I heard about it through my school a few months back, but honestly? I spent a lot of time visiting my mom in this hospital when I was a kid and when me and my dad would get home he would always try to cheer me up.  We put on a lot of concerts for my stuffed animals in our living room.  And I mean… like a lot .”  

Her eyes are soft as she listens, a piece of paper held loosely between both hands just inches off of the table, almost forgotten, and gives him an empathetic smile.

“I saw that video of the Disney sing-along online and I just really wanted to be a part of it, helping kids, especially with music, because it’s really helped me through some tough times.”

“Well,” She straightens up and slides the paper across the table towards him, “I think the kids will really love having you around.  Do you play any instruments?”

“Never missed a piano lesson,” Kurt says, grinning.  “But mostly, I love to sing.”

The paperwork consists of a lot of signatures.  Kurt is not to discuss any of the patients or their health conditions with others in order to maintain privacy regulations, not to post anything to social media without permission, and just a lot of general information about the hospital’s protocols such as what to do in the event of emergency scenarios (of which there are many ).  By the end of it, Kurt has a pretty sizable stack of papers to take home with him and a dull cramp in his wrist.  

“I know it seems like a lot of information, but nothing you have to memorise.  You’ll always be with other staff members who will guide you through every step of the way.”

Kurt releases a nervous laugh, “Okay, good.  I can save my highlighters for school work then.”

***

Jeannie leads the way to the playroom which, she explains, is a safe space for all the children on the unit that remains open every day until 7 p.m.  No medications or treatments are allowed to be administered to a child in the playroom, they must be brought out first.  There are about ten kids inside, ranging from toddlers to older teens, all of whom have seemingly gravitated towards splitting into their own little cliques based on ages.  As soon as they enter the room two of the younger kids, a boy and girl no older than three or four, look up from a mountain of blocks and start crying.  Kurt casts an alarmed glance at Jeannie.

“It’s okay, you can keep playing.” Jeannie kneels down and stacks a loose block onto their small tower.  “Everyone, this is Kurt, he’s going to be coming by to help out and spend some time with all of you.” She stands up and backs away from the two toddlers with the blocks to stand beside Kurt again.  

“It’s the uniform,” she says quietly to him.  “Some get scared when they see us come into a room cause it usually means it’s time for medicine or treatments.”

“Hi, Kurt!” A small girl with bronze skin, a round face, and long thick black hair comes over and takes his hand.  “I’m Melanie! You wanna come draw with me?”

She does not wait for an answer before she starts tugging on his hand and walking back towards a small rectangular table covered with construction paper and crayons.  She climbs into one of two plastic blue chairs which are far too tiny for Kurt to fit in, so he sits on the floor beside the table, crossing his legs.  Melanie slides a piece of yellow construction paper towards him and pushes a pile of crayons into the middle for them to share.

“Did you draw all of these?” Kurt picks up a red crayon and starts sketching.

“Yes! My daddy brought my big brother to visit and we draw together,” she says, shading in what looks like a sunflower with a purple crayon.

“They’re very beautiful; I like that one a lot.” Kurt taps the one she is currently working on.  “I’ve never seen a purple sunflower before.”

“I’m gonna invent them one day,” she says matter-of-factly.  Kurt smiles and returns to his sketch of a new outfit design that has been floating around his mind for the past week.  

“Woah!”

Kurt begins to lift his head up to locate where the voice has come from when he spots movement beside his left elbow.  To say the boy is small would be an understatement.  He is tiny .  A pale, skinny little thing dressed in Batman pajamas that look two sizes too big on him.  He has wide, bright blue eyes and is wearing a charcoal grey beanie.  Clutched between his toothpick arms is a stuffed rabbit with drooping ears the size of its entire body.  

“Hello,” Kurt says as the boy leans forward to peer at his drawing.

“You can draw,” the boy says, clutching his rabbit closer.  

“Would you like to draw with us?”

“Can’t draw,” he says.

“Oh, I bet that’s not true,” Kurt says and holds out the crayon to him.  “Everyone can draw.”

The boy looks at the crayon then up to Kurt and shakes his head shyly before raising the bunny up to his chin, hugging it tightly.

“What’s your name?” Kurt asks.

“Jason,” he says quietly.

“Well, would you like to watch me and Melanie draw?”

“I’m really good.” Melanie looks up at him.  “You can sit next to me, I’ll show you.”

Kurt spends the next hour drawing with Melanie while Jason continues to peek curiously between them.  The other kids begin to trickle out of the room, some led by nurses, some by visiting family members.  Pretty soon, only the three of them are left until Jason’s mother comes in to collect him.  Before he leaves, Kurt holds out a piece of paper to him.

“Something tells me you like Batman,” Kurt says as Jason’s eyes widen at the image of a child-sized Batman with bright blue eyes.  “How about next time you can draw me?”

“Okay.” Jason grins, slipping the picture between his stuffed bunny and his chest to hold it there safely.  “But you’re gonna look like a potato.  I really can’t draw.”

It is the most Kurt has heard him speak all afternoon.  Something about the way he talks contradicts the way he looks. Kurt wonders how old he actually is; the boy looks smaller than most five year olds he’s seen but definitely talks like an older child.  Kurt makes a mental note to find out next time.  “Deal.  I can’t wait to see it.”

Jason’s mom gives Kurt a parting smile before she shepherds her son away.  Soon after, Melanie’s nurse comes to collect her as well, leaving only Kurt and Jeannie in the empty playroom.

“That went well,” she says.  “You’re a natural with them.”

Kurt beams back at her, a sense of pride swelling in his chest.  

After his dad comes to pick him up, Kurt spends the entire car ride home filling him in on the events of the day, excluding Jason and Melanie’s names.  He goes to bed that night with his mind already buzzing with activities for the next visit.

***

Kurt starts volunteering two days a week after school and over the course of the next month, he becomes very familiar with some of the regular kids on the unit.  Jason, he discovers, is actually nine years old, has leukemia and is in his final round of chemotherapy by the first week in October.  Melanie has sickle cell anemia and had been hospitalized for something called ‘sickle cell crisis’— she had gone home two weeks after they first met, but Kurt learns that she usually returns frequently for the same problem.  There’s a teenage boy not much older than Kurt is, but taller and skinnier with jet black hair and sad eyes, named Julian who has cystic fibrosis— he usually keeps to himself, oftentimes choosing to sit in the back corner of the playroom and silently watch everyone else.  

The rest have been a whirlwind of faces and names with a variety of issues such as pneumonia, appendicitis, broken bones and asthma attacks.  There have also been quite a few cases of children who have come in with injuries as a result of abuse at home, more so than Kurt would have imagined actually occurred.  He finds trying to interact and engage with those kids to be the most heartbreaking.

Some of the kids are not as keen to warm up to him as others, keeping to themselves or staying with their families while Kurt leads sing-alongs, painting lessons, hosts movie nights, and reads aloud during story time.  He has developed a steady routine in the five weeks since he began volunteering.  So on the Tuesday during the second week of October he waves hello to the security personnel by the front entrance like he usually does.  He rides up the same elevator and is buzzed into the unit by Rosie, the first nurse he met with the auburn hair.  And with his usual wide smile in place, he strolls into the playroom with a new four-pack of Disney themed puzzles under his arm.  

But when he walks in, the kids are already sitting in a circle, staring up at a boy with loosely gelled curls coiffed into a fluffy side part, bright hazel eyes, and a sapphire acoustic guitar perched on his lap. Kurt is caught completely off guard as he realises, Oh god, it’s him! It’s the guy from the video!

He looks shorter in person than Kurt assumed.  In both the photo on the bulletin board and the video his hair was ungelled and wild.  Kurt vividly remembers his dark curls bouncing as he bopped his head along to the music while impersonating Timon and Pumba for the younger kids.  He’s dressed in another carefully selected outfit though— bright red pants, a black polo and a white bow tie with black polka dots on it.  

“Kurt!” A few of them yell excitedly.    

“Ah, so you’re the famous Kurt I’ve been hearing so much about,” The boy with the guitar says, that same unwavering grin already in place.  “Nice to finally meet you, I’m Blaine.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #479

“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”

Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.

[big-bearded-cub]

Title: Just Friends

PROLOGUE

“Daon! Shin Daon! Daon-a! Wait for me!”, that was Jinwoo calling Daon. Jinwoo is a lower classman from the same department of Daon but he never called Daon as his senior (sunbae). “Oh! Jinwoo-a! I didn’t hear you because I was listening on to something.” Daon as always, is being so warm hearted. He had changed a lot from his high school years, but he is still the same but better. “I didn’t figure that out and I was shouting so hard from a far.” There was Jinwoo, gasping for air while holding to Daon’s arm. “I’ve been listening to the podcast you suggested to me last night. It was funny and relatable at the same time.” He was there smiling again. Jinwoo saw his smile, he blushed, and his heart is racing fast. He couldn’t figure out if it was because of him running or is it because he saw his crush’s smile at him. He let go of his hand and stood up properly and shyly, “It’s good that you liked it. I know it is something that you would appreciate.” They continued walking. They are on their way to the department’s cafeteria.

Jinwoo is a sophomore in Statistics. Daon is now on his Junior year in Mathematics. They are the same age that is why Jinwoo doesn’t call Daon as Sunbae (senior) or Hyung (older brother). “What’s your next subject Jinwoo?”, Daon asked while they were eating lunch. “I have a class at the General Education department, I’m taking English 101.” Jinwoo answered. “That will be easy for you because you stayed in the US for so long.” Jinwoo studied his elementary to high school years in California. He was admitted to the Statistics department of CalState but he decided to go back in Korea. That’s why his a little behind due to curriculum difference. “I suck at formal English studies.” He replied to Daon. “You’ll still do alright”. Daon reached out to Jinwoo’s head and tap it. Jinwoo is blushing again. “It is almost fall but I can feel the heat on my body.” that was on Jinwoo’s mind. Even they are the same age, Jinwoo is quite young looking. He is a little short and can qualify as a high school freshman. “Ho-how about you? What is your next class?”, he is still blushing. “I have no class this afternoon, my professor cancelled it due to a personal emergency. But why are you turning red? Are you okay?”. “Ye-yes, I’m okay.”

 CHAPTER 1: That’s why we are friends

Jinwoo had a crush on Daon since his freshman orientation day. Daon was one of the volunteers to help welcome the freshies. He has been always active in department activities and still a top student. Summer of Jinwoo’s freshman year, there was an outing trip for the students of the department. As a typical college student, they had fun. He got so drunk, and he confessed his feelings for Daon, and he kissed him. Daon being shocked, stood still and didn’t know how to respond. He had so many confessions before, but he never experienced a confession like this. Jinwoo then cried. Daon panicked because his shift of emotions was too rapid. Daon assisted him to be seated and got him some drinks to help him sober up. They were facing the beach. “Daon-a, I liked you from the moment I saw you. You are so likeable, and your smiling face is so bright. What in heaven are you even?! Bu-but I know you won’t like me back. I’m a nobody. I’m a failure. I’m nothing.” Jinwoo started sobbing again. “Jinwoo-a, sorry if couldn’t really reciprocate your feelings. I too have my own priorities right now. But do know that you are still worthy of being loved.” Jinwoo fell asleep suddenly. He fell at Daon’s lap. Daon being caring let him sleep on his lap for awhile why he enjoys the cold summer breeze and the sound of the splashing waves. Jinwoo remembered everything he said that night, but he couldn’t remember what Daon’s reply. He fell asleep because of too much alcohol. After that he became too shy to approach Daon.

“Daon-a, I would like you to free your schedule this Saturday night.” Daon’s father and mother are home from their businesses abroad. “We will be having dinner with a close friend of mine and his family.” Daon always wanted to spend time with his family. They are not very close, but they are closer than before. “Yes father, I will free my schedule.” He didn’t ask who they will be meeting but it was always like this. They have been meeting their family friends here and now. Daon doesn’t really mind. When he started college, his parents weren’t imposing unlike before. They were more sensitive on his feelings as well, but they still have some awkwardness between them.

“Jinwoo-a this is the head of the Shin family, greet them.” Jinwoo’s mother introduced him. “Hello uncle, I’m Kim Jinwoo, I’m glad to meet you.” “Nice to meet you, I would also like you to meet my son Shin Daon.” Jinwoo blushed so hard. “I-is this the Shin Daon that I know?”, Jinwoo was thinking and anxious. He is still bowing. He was afraid that when he raised his head, he will see Daon, he who was avoiding for some time now. “Hello, I’m Shin Daon, I’m glad to meet you as well auntie.” Jinwoo raised his head and he saw Daon, smiling at him. “My husband had just finished an important client meeting. He is on his way now. Sorry for keeping you wait.” Jinwoo’s mother explained to everyone. Indeed, Jinwoo’s dad is busy, but this was already planned, and this is an important meeting. “It’s okay, I know that your husband is a diligent man, that’s why it’s a little hard to meet with him.” Jinwoo is trying to look away from Daon and act like nothing happened. “Oh, before I forget, Jinwoo and Daon must be on the same age. Jinwoo is studying in XYU and majoring in Statistics. He loved this major, that’s why we let him study it.” Jinwoo is now blushing but still trying to hide his expression. “Daon is studying Mathematics in XYU as well. Have you met before?” Daon’s mother asked. “Actually, we have met already because we are from the same department.” Jinwoo flinched and just nodded. He really doesn’t know what to do. “Sorry I’m late, did everyone greet each other already? Let’s eat! I’m famished” Jinwoo’s dad exclaimed.

Daon and Jinwoo are now in the balcony of restaurant. They were encouraged by their parents to get to know each other. Their parents have other business matters to talk about as well. “Jinwoo-a, how are you? You were so silent this whole time.” Jinwoo seating a little far from Daon and couldn’t look at his face. “I’m do-doing fi-fine, I guess.” Daon turned his head to Jinwoo, “Are you still feeling embarrassed on what happened on the beach that night?” Jinwoo was shocked because Daon opened about it. “Jinwoo, I’m really sorry if couldn’t reciprocate your feelings for now but I don’t want us to be awkward. Can we be just friends?”

End of Chapter 1 Note 1: This is a fanfic if ever Daon will have his love life during his college years. Note 2: I am a frustrated writer. Note 3: Stay Hydrated. Note 4: Probably won’t finish this. Note 5: I know this is boring and slow paced. Note 6: Chapter 2 (CLICK HERE) Note 7: Wattpad Ver. (CLICK HERE)

[rainbowglittr]

Love and Marriage - Chapter 8 (Mature - Minors DNI)

Description:

After a loss in the family uncovers a family secret, Jaleia and her husband Jesse are forced to balance one family crisis after another along with their budding careers and their plans to expand their family. Will the pressure to keep everyone else together ruin their own relationship? Can ruined relationships be fixed before it’s too late?

Chapter 8:

"I cannot believe you!" Jesse's voiced raged.

I jumped up I had been taking a nap on the couch, waiting for Jesse and Diana to come home. Ever since the Trevor J concert they had been going to the studio in NYC together, Diana was "interning" and learning things about the music industry.

It had been two weeks since we saw the doctor. Despite the setback, Jesse and I were still determined to have a baby. Maybe even more so after that. We went to see of genetics had anything to do with the miscarriage but everything and every test they did looked good. So we had hope. I tried not to stress over it and hyper focus on getting pregnant and Jesse was really good at helping me. While disappointed, we weren't giving up yet.

I had already made dinner, I was just waiting for them both to come home. They stayed late today because Jesse was working with SZA and they had a short timeline to get a couple demos done before she flew back to LA. I checked my phone it was 11pm.

"Hey-" I started to say, getting interrupted by Diana. She walked right past me to the stairs.

"I'm sixteen, what do you expect!" She yelled as she stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"I expect you not to be doing THAT! You were supposed to be professional! Professionals don't make out in the studio!" Jesse walked over to where she stood.

"So what? You're not my mom, you're not my dad! Who even cares? The only reason why I even wanted to go to that stupid studio was so I could see Hakeem!"

"So, is that what you've been doing this whole time?"

"Yup. We hung out every single day." She said gloating.

"Oh, I'm so fucking glad, cause that's the last time you'll be seeing him! You're not coming back and I'm telling mom what you've been up to!" He yelled. My heart started pounding along with my head as I watched them scream at each other. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there, frozen, watching the mess unfold.

"Well if you tell mom, than I'll tell mom about the time I walked in on you!"

"Little girl, this is MY house, I can fuck wherever I want. I don't care if you tell, I'm a grown ass man. It's done up for you."

"I hate you, you're the worst brother. Shaun's a way better brother than you."

"Then go fucking live with him and see how great he is!" Jesse yelled. Diana stomped up the stairs and slammed her door.

"I know you are not stomping and slamming doors in my house, Diana! Have you lost your damn mind?" He yelled up the stairs. She slammed the door again.

"MAKE ME!" She screamed from her room.

"CUT THAT SHIT OUT, DIANA! DON'T KEEP FUCKING PUSHING ME GODDAMMIT!!"

I hadn't moved from my spot by the door. It was silent for the moment. Jesse knows that I just have a weird thing about people yelling or arguing. It really freaks me out and makes me uncomfortable. I hate it. But it's only angry yelling. That's what really gets me. I hate when people yell at me when they're mad, I hate when angry people yell. It's just one of the many things that freak me out.

"Did you hear her? Where's the fuck is the Advil?" Jesse yelled, looking around the room, still hyped up. I don't think he ever noticed I was there. Eventually he noticed me still standing in the same spot. I guess I looked freaked out because he came over and hugged me.

I hugged him back, leaning my head on his chest. His heart was racing and he was breathing heavy.

"I'm sorry for yelling. I know you hate it." He said resting his chin on my head.

"What happened? Why are you so upset?"

"So we finish working with SZA, all the writers producers clear the studio, ready to go home. I tell Di to go back there and make sure everything has been backed up and clean, right? So tell me why when I come back her and some other intern are sucking their faces off on the couch in there! I told the boy to get put of my face and that I would talk to him tomorrow, and Di tried to yell at me! Me! I told her not to say another damn word until we got home."

"Wow, well what are you going to do?"

"I'm telling my mom. I'm not covering up for her. She's out of control."

"I think we might've been enabling her a bit."

"I'm done with that. I'm not even mad at her doing it, like I know she's sixteen, I know she's going to like boys, but really at my studio? Anyone could've walked in on them."

"I think you're a little mad that she was kissing a boy. You still think of her as your baby sister."

"Yeah. I just wanted her to love what I love, you know. Music, I thought she was really into it. And it was just for skinny ass boy."

"Aww, your big brother ego is hurt. I'm sorry. But she had to find what her own passion is, even if it's not yours."

He sighed, "I know." I put my arms around his neck.

"I made dinner if you're hungry."

"Not anymore," he muttered, kissing my forehead, "but I'll try some."

"Come on. " I said, leading him to the kitchen.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The next day we had dinner with Jesse's mom.

It could not have been worse.

After explaining the whole situation to Aiesha, watching her lose her shit about it, I was scared for Diana. Jesse tried to explain to Di, that it wasn't about the fact that she liked a boy it was more about her not being professional about. He also tried to explain that he felt used by her. As nice as he tried to be, IT DID NOT GO OVER WELL. Diana, did exactly as she told Jesse she would and told his mom about the time she walked in on us and I have truly never been more mortified. That was one dinner where no one ate their food.

I could literally feel Aiesha's hatred of me increase. The end result was Diana being grounded for a month, no electronics, and she would be volunteering at an animal shelter that one of her mom's friends worked at for the rest of the summer. It wasn't even going to be that bad but she just wouldn't shut up, she had to have the last word. But the final straw for me and for Aiesha was when she cursed Jesse out. What really pissed me off is that I could tell even though he didn't say anything that Di really hurt his feelings. Having known him since elementary school, I knew how close he was to his sister. She didn't want for nothing with him and this whole acting out thing had to stop.

After Diana was sent to her room for the remainder of the "dinner" Jesse and I had to be subjected to a loooonnnnggggg lecture from his mom about "living with a teenager " and her personal tips for having sex with kids in the house. Including some examples from when Jesse was a kid. It was as awful as it sounded. Jesse's mom decided that for at least one night, Diana was going to stay with her. So tonight was our first night alone in a few weeks.

"See you later mom!" Jesse said as they walked out the door. Diana was not currently not speaking to Jesse or apparently me at the moment. Once they left Jesse sat down on the couch closed his eyes. I walked behind him and started rubbing his shoulders.

"That was a lot." I said.

He sighed, "Yeah it was."

"How ya doin?"

"Tired." He said. I slid my hands down his chest. My lips were close to his ear as I said, "Well, come upstairs and I'll show you something that might wake you up."

"Oh really?"He said as I started to suck on his neck.

"Come on. I got something I wanna show you."

>>>>>>>>>>>

"When do you have the time to work out?" I said to Jesse as he put his arm around my waist.

"What?" He said, kissing my shoulder blades. He was the big spoon. Our naked bodies were still cooling down from our previous activities.

"You have a sexy ass six pack and I never see you work out."

"You leave earlier than me in the morning. After you get up, I work out. Since Diana's been here I haven't had much time. But sometime late at night. You never seen me?"

"Nah, at least I've never noticed. Jess?" He paused his gentle kisses.

"Do you think...do you think that, we'll ever have a baby?"

"Turn around, Love." He said. I turned into his chest. One of his hands cupped my face.

"Jaleia, I promise you, we will have a baby. I know it's hard but we gotta be patient. Okay?"

"But what if-"

"Aye! No buts, no what ifs. I'll step it up I promise we're going to have a daughter. Trust me, okay?"

"Kay," I said, he kissed my nose and then my lips. Our lips moved almost in sync until we had to stop to take a breath. I smiled at him.

"You made me sweat out my hair." I said as I cuddled up to him again.

"And you scratched the hell out of my back." He said gently tickling me.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I put my keys down on living room table. Two seconds later Jesse yelled from the kitchen, "Put your keys in right spot before you lose them." I jumped as my heart skipped a beat. I wasn't expecting him to be home yet. I rolled my eyes as I put my keys in the key holder by the door.

"Babe, you tryna give me a heart attack? I didn't know you were home." I said walking to the kitchen.

"I called and left a voicemail, Dr. Michaels."

"You know I don't check those!" He stopped stirring a pot of pasta for a second to give me a kiss.

"You know you should." He said.

"There's a lot of things I should do, but I don't. Anyway why you making such a huge thing of pasta?" I asked, finding some potato chips to munch on. Jesse turned toward me.

"You look radiant today, is that a new highlighter?"

"You look sexy as hell today, is that a new bullshit you're wearing? Why are you making so much pasta?"

"Cause my mother and sister will be here any minute?" His sister hadn't been with us for a couple of days. Did we use that time to shamelessly have mindblowing sex around the house? Hell yeah.

"Jess!" I said stomping my foot. "You have to tell me these things!"

"I'm sorry, it was last minute! But, have you noticed my mom has been nice to you lately? I think she's starting to like you."

"Saying that your mom has been nice to me lately is like saying, 'Isn't nice the shark only ate half your leg instead of both your legs.' She's been preoccupied."

"I love you." Jesse sang.

"Yeah, yeah." I said, still shoving chips in my mouth.

"You're not really mad are you? She's only here for Diana." He said as he grabbed plates from the cabinet.

"No, I'm not mad. I just expected one thing and I'm getting something else. "

"Okay?" Jesse said Sounding confused. The doorbell rang. Jesse looked at me from where he was plating the pasta.

"Could you?" He smiled at me. I glared back at him before walking to the door.

"I'll buy you something sparkly tomorrow!" He yelled as I approached the door.

"You better, you owe me!" I answered back. I opened the door and as usual, before I could say anything Aiesha walked right past me. I motioned for Diana to come in because unlike her mother she had manners. I closed my eyes for a second and prayed that I would have the strength not to slap that woman tonight. After collecting myself I joined everyone in the kitchen. We had a kitchen "table" that we could fold out from the wall, and everyone was seated around it.

I sat down next to Jesse and we said grace. We started eating and the silence soon became awkward.

Aiesha decided to speak first. "Now I know the way we left things wasn't good. But I think Diana would like to use this time to set some things right." She said. Diana hadn't said anything since walking through the door. She stopped staring at the floor and looked at Jesse.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"For what? Don't act like you don't know what to say now." Aiesha nudged her.

"I'm sorry for being awful to you. You didn't deserve that and I'm sorry I got mad at you." She said.

"I get that you're going through a lot right now Di, but don't forget, we're all just trying to help you. Just talk to us." Jesse said.

"Okay."

"Come here." Jesse said, holding his arms out. Diana walked over and hugged Jesse and immediately started crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't hate me!" She cried into his shoulder.

"Hey, hey, I don't hate you Di, I get it. You've been through a lot lately, we wll have. It's okay. I love you. Alright? Hey, I'm serious. I'll always be here for you." He said. She started sniffing and let him go.

"Go ahead and wash your face off." Aiesha said. Diana nodded and walked out the room.

"We've done a lot of talking over the past couple of days with her therapist and we are, we're trying to work through this. It's been really hard for her- for all of us but especially her, and I think that she's finally getting the help she needs. If you don't mind her staying with you again-just until I find a new place. That would be great because she gets really bad night terrors staying at home, she hasn't slept a full night since we she left here." Aiesha said. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"You know our doors are always open. Diana is welcome anytime. " I said. Jesse gave my hand a gentle squeeze under the table.

"Yeah, mom. Anytime. But are you okay? I worry about you." Jesse said, standing up and walking to her. I had to admit his mom looked stressed as hell. She just didn't have the same energy as usual. Her eyes had a tired look to them and she had bags under her eyes, clearly she hadn't been sleeping.

"I'm just tired. It's hard adjusting to this new normal. I miss your father, a lot. He was my world. I keep expecting to see him come home. And-" she started tearing up. I handed Jesse a tissue, and just sat there awkwardly. I didn't want to leave but at the same time I was so uncomfortable and I didn't think Aiesha would want me near her but at the same time, it's hard for me to see someone crying and not comfort them. But Jesse held his mom while she cried on him.

"We had so many plans, we were going to travel, we had so much to do. It's not fair. My baby is all tore up about it and I'm trying to help her and it's a lot. Jess, it's a lot. I wish this was just a horrible nightmare." She cried. Jesse mouthed to me

"Can you check on Diana?" I nodded and quietly slipped out the room.

I felt bad for everyone, I know Jesse was still processing losing his dad, and while the waves of sadness seemed to be gone for now, I know he missed him. I could see how this was tearing Diana apart. Jesse, Ciara, and Shaun were face timing the other day and talking about him. Their dad was the reason why Jesse and Shaun were on good terms again, because during our senior year of high school they stopped speaking to each other-for years.

But his mom shocked me. I was so used to seeing her be demanding, confident, and domineering that this shift to her being confused, and sad, blew my mind. Jesse's dad was such a huge pillar of their family, and that was clear while he was alive, but strikingly clearer in his death. I wanted to help so bad but I didn't know what to do.

When I found Diana she was sniffling on the toliet seat lid. The door was open but I knocked anyway. She looked up at me with her bloodshot, puffy eyes.

"Can we talk for a minute?" I asked.

"Sure." She said. I sat on the counter and faced her.

"You know your brother could never hate you. Never. He just wants the best for you, and I know that sounds stupid but it's true. He may seem like he's trying to be your dad but he is just trying to look out for you and lead you. If that makes sense. And your brother is really good at not showing it but he's hurting too and he talks to me a lot and as much as I want to I can't always relate to how he's feeling. But you being his sister probably feel a lot of what he's feeling right now. So maybe, if you feel up to it, you can talk to him sometimes. Just a suggestion."

"Thank you." She said.

"For what?" I asked.

"Not kicking me out of your house. And I'm sorry for being rude to you too. I really like staying here, I can't sleep at home. And you guys are really nice. It's like having another sister." She said. I aww'd inside my head.

"You're always welcome, and having you here is cool too because I get to be an older sister for once. You ready to go back?" I gave her a hug.

"Yeah." She said.

"Great cause I can't feel my butt!" I said as we walked out the bathroom.

>>>>>>>>>>>

Later that night me and Jesse laid in bed, I had my head in his lap as he sat up against the headboard. His mom had gone home, amd she was doing okay for now. Diana went to bed in her room in our house. It was quiet as I let Jesse twist my hair.

"You're going to have to get up at some point." He said.

"I know, but keep twisting until you get to that point." I said.

"You know my dad used to do my hair?" He said.

"Really?" I said. He nodded.

"Yeah until high school, if it wasn't going to be cut short, all the braids I had were him, well mostly him, my brother and sister sometimes did it and my mom always tried to but she couldn't do it like dad."

"That's cute."

"He's the reason Shaun and I talk. He did so much for us."

"He was an amazing man, Jess. But speaking of Shaun, you never told me that story, you told me bits and pieces but never how you made up."

"Its a long ass story."

"We ain't doing nothing. Tell me." I said. "Ow! that hair your pulling is attached to a head!" I grabbed the strands he had just pulled.

"Sorry, there was a kink."

"Storytime."

"Okay, damn girl. So remember in high school when Shaun used to beat the shit out of me."

"Yeah, but you hid it well."

"I hated going home, he would just get annoyed at some random shit and just beat the fuck out of me." Shaun and Jesse were both in pretty good shape, but Jesse was only 5'11 and Shaun was 6'2. Jesse was about 170 pounds, Shaun was about 220. Even in high school Shaun was bigger and heavier. He was also a weightlifter.

"We that summer I stopped fucking with him, two years later he had a heart attack. The reason he had been so crazy and aggressive was because he had been taking steroids to keep up bodybuilding with his frat boys. He almost ruined his heart. But the steroids had him losing his mind. I didn't go see him in the hospital that's how much I hated him. My dad decided after I refused to see him that our relationship needed to be fixed. Shaun recovered and was fine but he made us sit down and talk. Which being the manly men that we are didn't go well and we almost fought again. My dad stopped us because we were still afraid of him. Not gon lie." I laughed.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"I'm dead ass. He threatened to beat us. I wasn't get my ass beat by my father as a grown man."

"But-"

"No more questions! But the next time my dad made us talk he brought in someone we feared even more than him. My sister."

"Ciara? Are you kidding me?"

"She has a twisted mind, you have never been on the other side of it. She won't get you physically, she gets you mentally. " he said as I laughed.

"Go on Jess."

"Ask her! She's got an evil side! Anyway, they made us talk and Shaun actually apologized for using me as punching bag and all the other shit he did. He was using steroids and doing other drugs and it really fucked him up for a while. But I'll always love my brother, I think I just need to hear him say it. I think I just needed him to give a fuck about me, you know."

"You're such a softie."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are, you're a turtle. You have a hard outer shell but underneath all that is just squishy stuff. And it's one of the reasons I love you. I didn't know your brother was on drugs, though."

"Yeah for a little bit. My dad sent him to rehab. To my understanding he wasn't addicted or on anything hard but it was enough for my dad to send him to rehab. But he won't talk about it so I don't ask."

"You have been through a lot. "

"Yeah, it's been real. But I'm glad. It made me who I am."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

[snakeboistan]

WHUMPTOBER DAY 1:

Waking up restrained I Shackled I Hanging

TW: SUICIDE

The door of Nagisa’s apartment building creaked as Sugino opened it, it’s sound reverberating off of the darkened hallway. The dim hanging overhead lights buzzed with every flicker, casting the corridor with a pale golden haze. Sugino entered the building, the soles of his favourite trainers squeaking against the smooth cold tiles of sandstone. He closed  the door behind him with a sigh to the phone that was pressed against his ear, resuming the conversation he had on the group call with his old Junior High classmates, “he just hasn’t been himself, you know.”

“I totally understand you,” Kayano said, “it’s like he has stopped talking to us. He used to send us a text on the group chat at least once every three days. Now it’s been a week since we’ve last heard from him.”

“I mean, there’s a chance that he’s just swamped with university work,” Maehara offered, “plus he does volunteer at that elementary school as well so he might not have the time to chat anymore.”

“But it’s not just chatting,” Sugino argued, climbing up the staircase that led him to the blunette in question’s apartment, muscle memory driving him forward, “he barely responds to my texts and when he does it’s one or two word answers. Everytime I invite him to go somewhere he just shoots me down. It’s clear something’s wrong with him but whenever I ask him he just does that thing where he tells you that he’s fine but it’s really obvious that he’s lying.”

Nakamura scoffed, “sounds about right. Oh, Nagisa you haven’t changed much, have you?”

“You know,” Isogai mused, “now that you mention it, there was something that was concerning. About a week ago I tried calling him for something - I can’t really remember what exactly it was - but when I did the call wouldn’t go through, it kept saying that his phone was switched off.”

“What, Nagisa?” Okano asked, the confusion embedded in the lilt of her voice not going unnoticed, “but that guy never turns his phone off.”

“Yeah,” Okajima butted in, “remember how back on our field trips in middle school he would bring about three of those portable charger things so that his phone would never lose charge. He always said that he wants to be able to be contacted at all times in case of emergencies.” 

“I remember that,” Nakamura said fondly, “it was one of the many reasons why we called him the class dad.”

“Isogai’s right about being concerned with his phone being off and him being unreachable,” Karma said, “it’s not like him to just refuse to speak to people. Even when he’s upset he still answers and does a terrible job of acting like he’s fine.”

“Karma, you saw him last right?” Isogai asked, “did you notice anything off about him?”

“Apart from the fact that he seemed stressed with studies, he seemed alright,” the redhead answered, “I mean he clearly wasn’t eating enough and looking after himself properly but he’s always been like that. He was smiling and none of them looked fake - and trust me I know when he’s faking it. But then again…”

“Yes,” Sugino urged impatiently, the worry that was gnawing at his mind was now full on devouring it, sharp tingles of disquietude bombarding his body with every concerning word his friends said. It was common knowledge that although Nagisa was the epitome of emotional intelligence and stability, with his capability of providing comfort and reassurance to those that came to him, he was incredibly closed off about his own feelings, more often than not caging himself within his own walls to prevent anyone coming to close. As trusting as the petite mild-mannered boy was when it came to receiving orders and his conviction that everyone is capable of doing, his mind was an unsolved mystery, shut off from prying eyes that would ask too many wrong questions. Nagisa portrayed himself as an open book - always ready to give out information when asked - but in reality he was like a sealed vault with an access code that no one would ever be able to even attempt to get right. 

‘Actually,’ Sugino’s head supplied, ‘he’s more like a bomb. He’s building himself up with so much pressure that one day he’s going to break. Hopefully, my intervention is not too late for that.’

The whole reason he was walking up the stairs of his best friend’s apartment block like a man on a mission was actually because Nagisa’s sudden hermit-like behaviour was noticed not just by him but also his school. He was in his college’s changing rooms, packing up after an hour of baseball practice, when he got a call from Keisetsu University informing him that Nagisa hadn’t showed up for classes in two days and was unreachable (yeah, he made himself Nagisa’s emergency contact for everything - let’s just say an incident happened in high school that involved a hospital and he did not want to repeat it). And then, later, when he called his little brother to tell him that he’s going to come home later, his sibling made a comment that his classmate, Sakura (yep, turns out that the girl that Nagisa tutors and hangs out with is the same age as his little bro and they both go to the same school - which has lead to a lot of interesting stories) has mentioned that Nagisa was ‘acting a bit sad’ when he was helping her with her research essay last week. 

“Well,” Karma’s voice cut into his thoughts like a knife, “we went out for drinks and he got a bit tipsy - okay well, a lot tipsy-”

“You got him drunk?” Kataoka asked disapprovingly.  

“What? It’s not my fault that he’s such a lightweight that one shot makes him stagger. Well, anyways, I asked him what he wanted to do and - this was after like two drinks - and he said ‘I don’t mind as long as I can sleep.”

There was silence after that.

“Well…” Maehara started.

“That’s concerning,” Okajima said.

Kayano sounded horrified, “why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I thought he was talking about his insomnia. We all know that he's had that since junior high and I hadn’t spoken to him in weeks at that point so I didn’t really know what was going on. I knew I had to be concerned but usually pushing him and cornering him only ends up with him pushing you even further.”

“Well, at least Sugino’s there now, right Sugino?” Yada tried to cast a ray of hope onto her friends, “I’m sure that once you speak to him, he might tell us what’s wrong.”

“Yeah, I’m just about to enter the apartment actually,” the black haired boy replied, “the plan is to invite him to a sushi restaurant, he never says no to sushi.”

“I think he’ll like that,” Kayano’s voice displayed her smile, “be sure to look after him for us, alright.”

“Don’t worry, I will,” all of a sudden, he felt every hair stand on end, he felt on edge as he stepped in front of Nagisa’s apartment door, an impending sense of doom loomed over him like a stubborn grey stormcloud, “actually can you guys stay on for a bit please, something feels off.”

“Uhh,” Maehara said, “sure?”

“Is everything alright there, Sugino?” Isogai asked.

“I don’t know,” he buzzed the doorbell. Nothing. He tried again. Still nothing. He knocked on the door with a call of Nagisa’s name. No answer. He then began pounding onto its wooden surface with his fist, “Nagisa! NAGISA! NAGISA IT’S ME SUGINO! LISTEN, I HAVE THE KEY YOU GAVE ME SO IF YOU DON’T OPEN THE DOOR IN THREE SECONDS I’M COMING IN!”

Ignoring some of his friends’ complaints of him bursting their eardrums, he rummaged through his pockets, procured the spare key Nagisa gave him and turned the lock. He stepped inside to find himself greeted by nothing but the sound of stillness. Everything in his field of vision appeared orderly, no sign of mess apart from a few scattered couch cushions. The many potted plants that Nagisa loved to collect stood slumped, their foliage green but wilting under the institutional white ceiling lights. 

“Sugino, what’s going on?” Maehara asked.

“He’s not here. I can see his shoes and jacket but it’s too quiet.”

“Maybe he’s just asleep,” Kayano supplied.

“Yeah, I’ll go check the bedroom.”

He walked towards Nagisa’s bedroom door with trepidation, his heart drumming like thunder against his chest. It seemed like every second of complete silence caused another tidal wave of fear to crash over him, making his breathing shallower, “Nagisa! Nagisa, buddy, where are you?!”

Slowly he reached towards the door handle, carefully pulling it down with shaking hands before opening it. He looked in front of him and-

Nagisa was there. He was there, alright - with his head slumping loosely from it’s position around a noose. Slivers of glassy blue glinted in the tiny gaps between heavy eyelids. His abnormally pale body, now tinted with light blue hung stock still in the centre of the room and his blue and purple mouth was parted, but no breaths were going to be released anytime soon.

Sugino’s phone felt like water as it slipped through his slackened fingers, it’s screen cracking as the many concerned voices of his former classmates shouted from the device but he couldn’t hear them, couldn’t hear anything apart from the blood rushing past his ears. His eyes focused on his best friend’s suspended form like a movie camera, fading the background and every other surrounding into a blur of nothing. Only this wasn’t a movie, this was real - if the chocked up coughs spasming in his throat and the biting nips of the chilly apartment were anything to go by. 

He screamed.

[txmel]

Storytime

Sami Malek x Reader, Uncle Rami

Word count: 1,200

Warnings: A few swear words, but really just fun fluff

Summary: Rami is about to face his most challenging role yet...being a guest reader for his nephew's Kindergarten class.

Sami and you had an appointment with the doctor, so Rami, being the amazing uncle he is, offered to pick Femi up from school.

You and Sami were over the moon when you discovered your son would be having a baby brother and making your family of 3, a family of 4. Sami, Jasmine, and Rami were as close as siblings could be, and both of you wanted Femi to have a relationship like that as well. And in just a few short months, he would have that.

When you walked in the door, both of you were verbally and playfully suggesting and crossing off a list of baby names. You were both so deep into the conversation that you didn’t notice the scene before you, but then you heard it. Your conversation was interrupted by an excited Femi, with his head full of dark curls, already bouncing off the walls. His green eyes larger than normal and when he saw his dad, Femi immediately ran and jumped into Sami’s arms. He was talking so fast and loud, you and your husband could hardly understand what he was saying. The only words you could both catch were: “Uncle Ra-ra”, “book”, and something about his friends. He then pointed to the couch.

His Uncle Rami sat there and looked like his face had lost some color and you swore he was ready to pass out. You took Femi to his room to play and when you returned, you saw Rami with a glass of water on his right and Sami on his left. For some reason, Sami was almost always on his left. It had been like that since they were little.

"Geez Rami, what happened?”, your voice legitimately full of concern.

“Well, when I picked Fem up from school, his teacher came over to me and thanked me.” He took a shaky breath. “She had shown the kids ‘The Empty Pot’. Femi began bragging that I was his uncle and that I would come and read a book to his class next week. Y/N, Sam, I couldn’t say ‘no’. You should have seen the way his face lit up and I didn’t want to let him down.” When it came to his nephew, "no" wasn't in Rami's vocabulary.

Rami placed his head in his hands. "Oh shit, I don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start with reading a book to a room full of 5 and 6-year olds staring at and judging me. Fuck."

 Sami gently placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. In times of crisis, you knew they could always count on each other. With his brow creased, you saw Sami searching for words to bring comfort to his older twin. He took a deep breath before he began: "Well, I wouldn't start off with that. You might make a bad first impression.”

 You could not facepalm yourself hard enough.

When you saw him snickering, you shot Sami a look and he knows he's in for it. Your husband knew not to test the patience of your pregnancy hormones. But sometimes he was such a smartass. He just couldn’t help it.

You knew you were overreacting, but it didn't matter. It was too late for the both of you. Your hormones had taken hold and they were on overdrive. Grabbing Sami by his arm, you dragged him into the kitchen.

"Sam, I swear to God, if you don't go out there and help your brother, do you know what's going to happen?".

"Y/N, are you actually going to call my mom? Really? I'm 38 years old and technically the baby of the family. I can talk my way out of anything, especially this", he scoffed.

"Oh no. You're only going to wish I had called her." You looked him square in the eye as your hormones continued their adventurous rant. "No, something much, much worse."

A smirk ran across your face as confusion washed over his. Then from 0-60,  his facial expression went from cockiness to fright as the realization hit him like a freight train. Sami knew what was coming. You were right, he really did wish you would call his mother.

"You know Femi's class field trip next month? To the zoo?". You knew at that point you had his full attention.

"You wouldn't."

"Go in there and help him or your name is going on the volunteer sign-up list."

_______________

As you drove Rami to Sami and Femi's school, you looked to the right and observed Rami's demeanor. He sat quietly, gripping his nephew's favorite book. His Uncle Rami was the only person Femi would allow to read it to him because he was the only one who could bring perfection to the story. His skills as an award-winning actor brought immense life to anything he read. And because it was Femi's favorite, no one could bring perfection to it like he could.

You noticed the book shaking slightly, as a result of his leg's nervous reaction.

You didn't understand what made him so anxious. Rami was so calm and collected at the Oscars. He was so confident when he spoke in rooms with countless numbers of people. And he even dealt with critic's opinions with grace and dignity, whether they were positive or not. But you weren't going to ask why this situation in particular hit him so hard.

Parking the car at the front of the school, Rami ran over to the driver's side before you could even undo your seat belt. He opened the door and helped you and your rounded baby bump out of the car.

You gave the front office the proper I.D., even though they already knew who you were. You could have sworn you saw the secretary blush as she handed Rami back his I.D. and stutter as she responded to his "thank you" and "have a nice day".

You walked into the classroom and you saw Rami's nervousness begin to dissipate slightly when his nephew ran to and gave him a tight hug. Femi dragged him to the carpet where his friends were sitting, anxiously awaiting one of their favorite storytellers.

Sami walked into the room before the teacher announced Rami and his hand gravitated immediately towards yours. Thankfully, someone was able to cover his class. You leaned your head on his shoulder and he pulled you closer.

After the teacher announced their class' special guest, Rami gave a small wave and a soft "Hi boys and girls." He sat down in the chair and Sami placed a kiss on the top of your head.

Rami and Sami's eyes connected. With a silent nod of his head signaling "you got this", Rami nodded back and began.

As soon as his voice began emitting the words on the first page, his confidence was completely there. When he got to certain parts of the story, the childrens' giggles turned into roaring laughter. You and Sami began to laugh too, even though you had heard the story countless times. Rami brought such life to the story, and you understood why this was Femi's favorite book for him to read. The story didn't have pictures in it, but Rami wouldn't need them anyway.

Rami was Femi's favorite storyteller, and as you rubbed your belly, you knew Rami would be your baby's too.

And as Rami's young audience continued to be captivated by his words, Sami leaned over and quietly said: "Ana uhibbuki, Y/N. You can sign me up for the field trip next month."

You heard a low, rumbling laughter coming as you said: "I love you too, Sami. And don’t worry, I signed you up last week."

@sherlollydramoine @xmxisxforxmaybe @r-ahh-mi @diasimar @sassystrawberryk

Here is the book Rami reads in the story. If you're an elementary teacher or have kids, I highly recommend it!

[queenmuzz]

Deep Blue Sea:  Chapter VII

Cutting Questions

Read full on Ao3 HERE

I can’t believe I agreed to try this on. You stared at the multiple copies of yourself in the full body mirrors as you cringed at the multi-angle view of the monstrocity masquerading as a wedding dress.  It was far too floofy, with enough taffeta layers that made you think that you were a pure white pastry.  And the bodice was far too tight, even for just a try out.  You swore your lower ribs were being crushed as the lady pulled the laces of the corset, and it took all your willpower to not cry out.

“There we go…” she said, triumphantly, and she twirled you around so you could get a good look at every side of this disaster.  “We may have to let out the bust a bit, and a little at the waist, but you look stunning!”

I look like a goddamn jellyfish, was all you could think.

You waddled out, attempting to not trip over the fluff that obscured your legs, to face the duo that eagerly waited for your appearance.  Surely they would find it as ridiculous as you did!  But the look on your mother’s face was not encouraging.

“OH MY GAWD,” she said with tears in her eyes…”You are absolutely gorgeous!  The dress suits you perfectly!”

“I dunno,” you said, attempting to be diplomatic.  Last thing you wanted to do is be known as a bridezilla, “I’m not sure it fits me”

“Well, of course,” she crooned, “It’ll need some alterations, but you’ll feel like a princess walking down the aisle with it.  The congregation will love it!” She was obviously taking the word ‘fit’ literally.  “And what do you think, Sarah?”

You silently prayed that your best friend would at least have the gumption to say something.  “It looks nice….” she started politely “but perhaps it could use a splash of colour?”

Your mother’s eyes widened, and she clapped her hands together.  “Yes!  A light pink would really bring out the colour of the diamonds on your engagement ring.” She paused, pinched up her face and thought for a second, chin in her hand.  “Ah!  Sequins!  You need more sequins!  It’s all the rage wedding this season.”   She turned to the saleswoman. “You MUST have something like that!”

The saleswoman, surprisingly, was a bit hesitant, considering she was about to make a major commision off this sale gently prodded, “I’m sure the bride would love to add to the suggestions.”

“I was hoping,” you started, “That it would be a bit less ostentatious.  Something a bit more simple, less fancy”

“Nonsense,” your mother interrupted, “This is YOUR day, you need to go all out!  With luck, this will be the most important day of your life.” She turned back to the saleswoman.  “Money is no object, but my daughter MUST look her best for her special day.”

The lady turned to you, to get your approval, and you wanted to say something, anything to get out of wearing yet another hideous top designer couture, but that excited look on your mother’s face just made you hesitate.  You couldn’t bear to see her face fall as you told her what you really thought of that dress. (Pink?   Your mother had to know you hadn’t liked that colour since elementary school!) And how sequins just didn’t suit you at all, you preferred the slender, simple backless gown with the green sash at the waist, that stood at the front window.  (The sneer your mother gave at it when you suggested it was enough to shut your mouth.)

But it was late afternoon, and you’d tried almost a dozen dresses, and frankly, you were tired.  And when you really thought about it, you’d only be wearing the dress for one day.  Perhaps your reticence was unreasonable.  After all, your mother had worn three different wedding dresses throughout her lifetime, and perhaps she knew what was best for you, maybe you should just trust her.

“Very well…” you said, and your mom giddily followed the sales lady to the back. You flopped down inelegantly on the cushioned sofa, and sighed.

“You know,” Sarah volunteered hesitantly, “this is supposed to be YOUR day, you shouldn’t be such a doormat”

“I’m not a doormat!” you hissed, attempting to not cause a scene.

“Suuuure you’re not,” she said rolling her eyes, before looking back at the dress in the window. “I love you to bits, but man, you gotta stand up for yourself.  You keep letting your parents push you around, it’s not gonna ease up, no matter how much you give in to their demands”

You cracked, just a little bit, Sarah had a point.  You spent your entire life trying to live up to their standards, and yet, it was never enough.  There was always a way you were supposed to dress, a business you should look into, a new contact you should make, a man you were supposed to marry-.  You decided that you would let that train of thought leave the station.

“I can’t,” you said quietly, looking down at your hands resting in floofiness that was your lap, “they’re expecting so much of me, I’d be letting them down right now”

“Well,” Sarah countered, “you stood up to them before, when you said you wanted to go into Marine Biology all those years ago.  I remember the  horrific arguments you had with both of them, you even stayed with me for a few weeks until they gave in.  And look where it got you, a Doctorate in your dream subject, and the ability to do the thing you really love; explore the ocean!”

“That’s because I felt passionate about it, Sarah”

“So does that mean you aren't passionate about this wedding?”

You clammed up, any words in response died on your tongue.  Sarah, despite her veneer of benign cluelessness, was an expert at cutting straight to the matter.  Did you feel passionate about this wedding? Did you even love Fredrick?  Would you ever love him?

“We’re baaaack!” your mother’s voice smothered your thoughts and doubts as she and the saleslady brought out a dress that quite possibly was even worse looking than the one you were currently wearing.  You gave one last longing glance at the the beautiful dress in the showcase, and allowed yourself to be shepherded back into the dressing room, leaving behind a beaming mother, and a resigned best friend.

*****

The sun was low in the sky as you finally left your mother’s place, after wishing her and your newest step-father a good night.  Sarah gave you a tight hug, with a concerned remark that no matter what you chose, she’d have your back.   You knew that you were hurting her by going through with this, but it would work out in the end, you knew it.

You sat back in your driver's seat, pausing after starting the engine.  It had been a draining day, and all you wanted to do was to have a bath, wrap yourself up in some towels, make yourself and Vergil some food, and just chill.  Despite all the stress from the wedding plans, and the the steep learning curve of taking up the reins of your father’s company, talking with Vergil about anything, and yet nothing at the same time calmed you down immensely.  You always looked forward to those times.

But first, one last errand before you went home.  You told your wireless system to make the call, and as you pulled out of your mother’s driveway, the drone of a dial tone reverberated in the car.  A few rings, and your father’s voice answered.

“Ah, how’s my favourite girl doing?  Did you pick your dream dress out?” he asked cheerfully.

“Yes, mom helped pick it out it’s a-” 

Your dad interrupted you, “Now now, don’t tell me, I just want it to be a surprise!  Just have your mother send me the bill, I’ll work out the payment”  You breathed a sigh of relief, you didn’t really feel like somehow describing the abomination that took the guise of a dress in a somewhat positive light.   

“Listen, sweetheart” your father said, “I’ll be out for a few weeks on business, accompanying your future father-in-law on a trip to check up on Fredrick, and maybe sign some more deals, so no ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Days’ for a while.  You got any concerns or any requests, you’ll have to call me.  Me and Mr. Sombra are on the cusp of a deal that will be mutually beneficial for both our family, and Fredrick’s.”  Another sigh of relief, one less stress point to deal with.  

Suddenly, in the background, you heard a popping sound, which sounded like fireworks, but the rhythm sounded off, it sounded like… Gunshots!?

“Dad!” you barked out worriedly, “Is everything alright?”

Your father’s response was cheerful and reassuring, “Ah it’s alright, I’m at the gun range, Mr. Sombra decided we should get to know each other better with our prospective hobbies while we work on this deal. I think I might be getting the hang of this gun thing, although I’ve gotta resist the urge to close one eye to do so.  Tomorrow, I get to show him the joys of breadmaking!” Your dad sounded as giddy as a schoolgirl to share his passion project, you couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I gotta go, your future father-in-law is begging me to try out this new pistol he purchased!”

“Okay, say Hello to Fredrick when you see him!  And have a safe trip!” you chirped, “I love you, dad”

“Love you too, sweetheart, bye!”  As the phone call ended, you began to relax.  Sure, today had been a draining day, but your father’s upbeat energy perked you up.  Perhaps your conversation with Vergil wouldn't be so dour today.  You sensed he had some issue with your father, but you never brought it up, simply because you never wanted to see him as he was when you first met.  You wanted him, if not happy, at least content and untroubled.  You hummed a familiar tune for the rest of the way home, but no matter how hard you thought about it, you couldn’t figure out where you heard it from.

As you pulled into your driveway, the cheerful mood skidded to a halt.  Another, unfamiliar vehicle was parked beside your usual parking space, but nobody was seen.  You tensed up.  You hadn’t expected any guests, and to just get on the property, you had to have a way of getting past the security gate.   

Cautiously, you got out.  It couldn’t possibly be a burglary, what idiot would park in front of your home while looting the place?  But still, you had your fears, not for your property, nor for even yourself.  What about Vergil?  

Your stomach dropped as your front door opened, and out came a slimy slug of a man...Doctor Griffon.   He was practically beaming, whistling a jaunty tune, with a regular sized briefcase in his left hand, and a long narrow briefcase in his right.  To your untrained eye, it looked similar to a gun case, and your blood ran cold.  

The doctor finally noticed you after he locked the door, (how the hell had he gotten a hold of the keys?) and smiled, totally oblivious of what he was doing to your emotions.

“Ah, My dear!  I was not expecting your arrival!  I must say, you’ve done a marvelous job on rehabilitating Angelo.  I was worried it was languishing in captivity, but you’ve managed to bring it’s original colour back, and it’s gained some weight, you must tell me your feeding schedule-”

“Cut the crap, Doctor. How the hell did you get a key?  What the fuck are you doing here? ” you hissed.  

The man deflected your anger as if it was a pesky fly.  “Your father gave me permission and access to your home, to take care of the creature, in case of emergencies, and I deemed it an emergency, since you’ve missed the deadline to deliver your monthly report for the past three days.”

Wait what?

You quickly checked your phone.  Sure enough, the asshole was right, in the hubbub of bridal shows, cake tastings, and now wedding dress try-outs, you had missed the deadline.  It was hard to resist the urge to slap yourself for this stupidity.

“I’m not sure how you managed to wrangle the creature without it’s leash,” he glanced down at the long  briefcase, “But I’m highly impressed you were able to.  I’ll admit I thought you were just faking the measurements…”

“You could have called me, let me know, I could have gotten you the information you so desperately  needed.  Instead of breaking into my place without my damn permission.”

The bastard dangled a ring with a single key on it, in front of you. “Like I said, this was given to me by your father, with permission to-”

You didn’t let him finish as you yanked the key out of his grasp.  “Consider the permission rescinded.” you said curtly.   He attempted to speak again, but you wouldn’t let him.  “Talk to my father if you want to contest this, because I’m not letting you set foot on my property again.  Am I making myself clear? Your voice lowered dangerously, your adrenaline pumping through your system, the key clenched so tight in your fist, you could feel the start of it cutting into your palm.  Immediately, your brain went into overdrive, preparing on how to react should Griffon try to take the key back, punch him in the face, or in the gut, or a kick to the groin?

But you needn’t have worried.  The doctor, despite his glares, decided to back off.  No doubt he would attempt to contact your father, but both of you knew who your dad would side with.

“Very well,” he glowered, “but if anything happens to the specimen,” the urge to punch him reached a deafening crescendo, “I will hold you personally responsible.” And with a huff, he shouldered past you, got in his car, and with a slamming of a door, he peeled out, going towards your family’s central warehouse building.

You let out a ragged breath, The next time I see him, I’m going to skewer the bastard, you thought viciously.  The previously relaxed feeling that you had worked so hard to build melted like snow under a blowtorch.  How could you have been so fucking stupid?  You had spent the last decade turning assignments on time for your doctorate, why did you forget now?  All your efforts at gaining Vergil’s trust had just been shattered because of your negligence…

Vergil…

You ran towards the door, clumsily failing to get the key into the hole, and spreading blood from your newly cut hand all over the handle.   It could wait until later, you had to check up on the merman, that was your priority right now.

After a few tries, you got the door unlocked, and you rushed inside, tossing your belongings everywhere in your haste to get to the aquarium.   “Vergil!” you called out, but no response reverberated in your head.  You plastered yourself against the glass, trying desperately to find him.  And after a few moments of panicked searching, you saw him, hidden behind his usual rock where he usually spent time alone.  But now he was unmoving, curled up in a defensive ball, his eyes vacant, staring at nothing at all.  “Vergil!” you yelled, but no response.  What had that asshole done to him?  Did it have something to do with that leash? What if he’s hurt?

Without quite thinking, you clambered onto the platform, and after a moment to gather your breath, you dove in.

The cut on your palm protested at the salt water, but you didn’t care, as you swam to the far rock.  You cautiously approached Vergil, unable to talk to him with your weak human lungs, which already started to burn. Vergil remained staring straight ahead, his eyes transfixed on nothing, unaware of your presence. So, you did the only thing you could, and placed your hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle shake.  Come back to me, Vergil.

And then, without warning, both his hands shot out, grabbing your shoulders in a vise tight grip.  In your surprise, you let out the last of your air still in your lungs, the bubbles rising to the surface.  You went to follow, but Vergil wouldn’t let go.  Panic forming, you started struggling, but the merman was as solid as the rock he hid behind, and wouldn’t budge.  And what was worse, the vacant look in his eyes was still there, he had no idea he was drowning you.  For a split second, you thought about trying to hit him, to knock some awareness back into him, but that would make it worse.  So, as you felt your body slowly shutting down, conserving all the oxygen it had for only vital functions, you did the only thing you could think of.

You softly caressed his cheek, hoping the gentle touch might, possibly be the thing he needed to snap him out of his catatonia.  

To your relief, it seemed to work, and his eyes focused on you in confusion.  All you could do was keep your eyes focused on his, as everything besides his face became a dark blur.  Panic filled his face, and you were aware of rushing water, and then the feeling of cool air on your cheeks.  Spluttering and coughing, you gulped up the air, as Vergil gently guided you to the platform and helped you clumsily clamber up onto it.

“Forgive me…” you heard him murmur as you stood on all fours, still attempting to catch your breath. “Had it been a few moments later, I would have....”

“Not your fault, Vergil '' you gasped out, finally able to regulate your breathing, as the pounding of blood in your head slowed down, as the adrenaline stopped flowing.  “This was all me, I should have sent in that report, so ‘he’,” you spat out the word in hatred, so Vergil knew who you were talking about, “wouldn’t have shown up.  But I was so. Fucking. Forgetful. You felt like crying, but you kept it locked inside.  You both didn’t need the additional emotions tonight.

You felt a soft hand placed upon yours, and you looked into his grey eyes, softness replacing the blankness that had been there a few moments ago. “It appears,” he said with a gentle smile, “we are at an impasse to who’s at fault.  Shall we agree that we have both done the other ill?”

“I suppose we could do that,” as you used your hand to brush your soaked hair out of your eyes.  Suddenly Vergil frowned, he gently turned your other hand around, revealing an angry red gash.

“Did I…?” he started to say, but you shushed him.

“No, that was me, when I was confronting the Doctor”  Vergil stiffened at the mention, and you sought to assure him “Vergil, I swear I will never let him near you again, if I have to fucking kill him.”  He looked at you, as if he was searching for sincerity on your face, before nodding in gratitude..  You had never been so serious about something in your life.  Vergil didn’t deserve the treatment you could only guess that he’d been through.  If you could have chucked him into the ocean this very second, you would have.  But despite everything, he still answered ‘no’ to your question of freedom every morning, so you respected his wishes.

“You should get yourself dry,” he said, “you humans tend to get sick when you remain wet for a period of time.”

You got up, wincing at the pain from your palm and you pushed up off of the wood, “I’ll be back soon, and I’ll bring you supper, any requests?”

“Not particularly, anything you wish shall be fine” he answered, his voice unexpectedly soft.  You gave him a reassuring smile, and descended the stairs.

*****

You sat in a warm fluffy pj’s your hair still damp, but otherwise fully dry.  You’d made his favourite for him, ramen, with some slices of leftover pork chop, which he slurped up greedily.  He was still getting the hang of using utensils, but he was doing so much better.  You snacked on a turkey sandwich, not feeling the urge to prepare anything more strenuous than that.  Your hand had stopped bleeding, but still ached, and although it looked bad, with some ointment and some bandages, it would be more annoying than anything.  You pulled up your medical supplies to tend with it, but then heard Vergil’s voice. 

“May I?” and after giving your approval, he gently took your hand, amazed as you spread the cream over the cut.  He frowned, as he watched.  “I thought it would have healed somewhat by now, if not as quickly as us”

“Nah,” you shrugged with your free shoulder as you reached for the wrapping that would keep it protected while you slept. “Although cuts on our hands heal pretty fast compared to other parts of our bodies, we just need to keep it covered so it has a chance to heal.  It’s painful, but it’s not like a wound to the gut or anything.”

You began to wrap your hand, but somehow, Vergil took over, gently winding the cloth around your palm, taking care not to press down on the wound.  The way his fingers softly grazed your knuckles....  You suddenly felt slightly warm at the touch.

“May I ask you a favour?” he asked as you placed the supplies back in the kit.

“Sure”

“Will you sleep here?” he said, tapping the platform.  You paused, and watched to see if he was making a joke, but his face was serious.  “It would put my mind at ease, after all that has transpired today” he requested earnestly.

“Of course” you responded, and relief flooded his face.  “I’ll just have to get some more blankets and such, sleeping on bare wood is rather uncomfortable.”

So, several hours later, you were in a nest of blankets and pillows, lulled by the sound of water, on the cusp of sleep,  when you heard the sound of water sloshing gently, and a cool hand caressing your cheek.  Strangely, it didn’t yank you back into wakefulness, but instead calmed you down even more.

The last thing you heard before sleep truly claimed you was Vergil’s voice, barely a whisper.

“Sleep well, Sifa”

Tagging @harlot-of-oblivion (apologies if I tagged you twice, Tumblr glitched out, and I had to repost.)

[be-ca-lm]

pls ignore just gotta get thoughts out of my brain

tw rape and sexual assault ok so i think it started very young when i couldn’t understand why the hell boys and men seemed more important to god and that god was always presented male - i was very young, like elementary aged when i reasoned: he made us in his own image, in order to create female he has to BE equally female, he has to have female image. i was told no no that is wrong and bad and heresy.

then i ALWAYS chafed at the idea of women being helpmeets to men, created as servants to them, their sole reason for existing being in service to better, stronger, smarter males (who cause all the problems like wtf) and that doesn’t seem right or just. the garden was perfect the world god created was perfect so why create anything as lesser than? do you hate women? but men came first - then woman to help, woman as decoration, as slave, as child bearer, as comforter, as mother, as scapegoat. woman as weaker. she fell for temptation in the garden, where was adam? See? Women are stupid, need protecting, incapable of rational thought, logic, reason. look how gullible. look how dangerous to be left unsupervised. all of humanity condemned to fiery torment because of woman. no responsibility of man. hate woman, blame woman, hurt woman, you have every justification to do so. she is trapped, hobbled, shackled, tied to you for her protection, existence, safety. she is prize, she is bounty, she is spoils of war. daughters are property. a woman who does not produce children is worthless, sons are currency for power, social capital, strength. daughters serve you. woman is there as punching bag, as masturbatory relief, as house slave, as decoration, worthless but worth stealing, dirty but rapeable, stupid but cunning, pure but deceptive, ruined but redeemable through birthing. a portal, a tool, woman as commodity, woman as vehicle of corruption and vehicle of salvation, simultaneously and never, all at once and at the same time, wretched and woman. not equal to, but a compliment. a complement. you are no equal to god’s masterpiece, the man. do not kid yourself.

god’s grand plan! look at his design. how perfect. how freeing. how it was meant to be. he created woman who would ruin it, but he is not to blame, it is his creation’s fault, but not the man who he likes better, no not his fault. she is saved through childbirth? she is worthy as ALWAYS depending on her proximity to a MAN to a husband father brother rapist captor buyer slaver son stoner judge jury executioner savior.

so why? why condemn me to this torturous existence, why give me the capacity to KNOW that I am intended to be Less Than, that I am the Weaker Vessel, that I am Not A Man but give me no comfort in that, no recourse, no ability to appeal this existence. Make me a man! I could do so much more for you! I could do your pillaging and raping, I could do your genocide, I could carry out your orders, sacrifice my children, I could spread your Gospel and praise your name, I could earn my place in your heaven by your side because you commanded that I Love You, I could invade your earth, slaughter your animals, impregnate your weaker washy women and fulfill your great commission, i could be the mulitiplier, the glorifier, the pastor preacher whitewasher brainwasher tombfiller father soldier conqueror profiteer leader ruler dictator sin hater. PICK ME CHOOSE ME all I wanted was to be LOVED by you to be told WELL DONE MY GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT am i not enough for you and since i so clearly am not, why did you create me this way. 

find peace in your role. you have purpose. then why does that not feel natural as young as five years old? at 10? at 14? at 18? at 27? at 33? jesus knows your sorrows he knows you- JESUS CANNOT RELATE TO ME. he was born a man. he was not asked to make himself small. he submitted to dying. no one asked me if i wanted to volunteer. could i come back a man? I do not want to be a man. I want to be a woman in an existence where that is not automatically a Bad Thing, automatically a disadvantage. I am born guilty of the fall of humanity on my shoulders and told my shoulders can never be strong enough to carry that weight. a man will save me. be submissive. men are leaders, you are not naturally a leader. 

men are logical. they can compartmentalize. women are emotional. they cannot compartmentalize, they are ruled by their emotions. men are waffles. women are spaghetti. men are from mars. women are from venus. pop psychology will explain why men are Better. they are better at math, geometry, women cannot visualize things in their brains like that. women are not good engineers. women are soft and kind and nurturing. THIS IS WHAT WAS TOLD TO MY FACE AS A CHILD. i nodded. ok this must be so, i do not see it, it is not true for me, it is not true of any of the women i know, but my dad is saying this IT MUST BE TRUE. how does he know how my brain is wired? 

an escape. i learned about biblical singleness. i do not have to marry, i do not have to trade one household bondage for another, one male protector for a new one. i have an option? I can be single, nay, a single MISSIONARY. i can escape america, the bible belt, i can really and truly help people. i can share my burdens with them so i do not have to carry them alone. it will please god. it will make up for my being born a useless woman. if i do not marry, i do not have to submit to a man. i can be free. i can find some type of comfort in this lifetime.

somewhere along the way, i put aside my ever-growing frustrations toward the treatment of women and the hypocrisy. husbands lead the wife, they are the Head of the Household. I never saw that enacted. Pastor’s wives planned events, spoke at bible studies, sat on committees - it was limited to women only events, yes, but they led? they spoke? they taught and preached and sang and witnessed? the cognitive dissonance was too much. they budgeted, they shopped, they wore clothes i wasn’t allowed to, they were showy. but not allowed to speak in church, not allowed to preach, to pastor, to shepherd. they could mentor. Oh! Perfect. call it a different name and then you can do it. You’re not a pastor, a mentor. Not a preacher, a Bible teacher. The pastor husbands walked around domineering their families and making all the decisions? No - their families would have imploded. They preached submission but in function they were a team. everyone’s parents were. so i guess we can get away with it, and that makes it ok. label it differently and suddenly the bible has nothing to say on that particular matter. they are playing theological gymnastics, but if they can, i can too. i can sleep at night now, i do not have to be angry at god. i can ignore it.

A thought. I believe it grew in the garden of my own mind, but it’s possible a wayward seed blew in from elsewhere but I don’t remember. I was all-in, I silenced my doubts, I screwed my courage to the sticking place, I said yes I believe this, yes I am a dirty sinner, yes I do not deserve grace or mercy or forgiveness, yes I believe that god can give me that anyway in return for my life, my love, my thoughts, my actions, my deeds, my affiliations, my comfort, my pride, my complete and total surrender of my Self, my personality, my person, my autonomy, my desires, my entire existence. I was fervent. I learned the most, I delved in deep, it was theology, soteriology, epistemology, apologetics, baptisms and trinities and divine mysteries. i knew nothing of secular science, i learned nothing of sex. I knew dead men - Calvin, Luther, Arminius, Aquinas, Origen, Augustine, Spurgeon, Bonhoeffer, Wycliff, Niemoller, Lewis, Piper, Paul, James, I knew creeds, doctrines, catechisms, doxology, councils, heresies. 

And I thought. I am all in. I accept all this. I evoke the proper response in myself when I learn these things. If I were born in any other time, any other place, into any other religion - I would accept those things just as eagerly and honestly. Would I not? How could I not? I earned the praise of adults, the admiration of youth group peers, I could exercise my intellect in a way not too offensive for a female to do, because it was always good to learn the bible, right? I was special, smart, serious. A student of the bible, i committed HUNDREDS of verses to memory, i competed in competitions that tested my knowledge of scripture against my peers, I was dominant. It nagged at me. I would have been the best anything, the best Muslim, the best Mormon, the best Hindu, the best Orthodox Jew (especially Orthodox Jew - there are so many RULES and ways to do it BETTER), I was completely lost in the swirl of religiosity that was my life. I did Christian ballet, Christian theater, watched Christian entertainment, listened to Christian music, went to Christian summer camp, had Christian friends, was in a Christian home school group, read Christian books, did Christian mission trips, and eventually chose to go to a Christian college. Not to brag, to sound so insanely arrogant - any religion would be happy to have me. I would give your cult a great name. I’ve got the resume and CV to join any believing army, just give me my marching orders. I swallowed my Self in the belly of the whale of god. My whole life and personality were these things and activities.

then - purity culture hit. and it brought back all the female trauma. the trauma of existing as a woman who THINKS in the subculture of christianity insanity.

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

Love Like You - Chapter 1/2

Ships: Anxceit, Logicality

Summary: Now thirty years old, Virgil has given up on romance and love and, at the suggestion of his friends, instead turns to adoption as the only means fill the hole in his heart, only to realize that he's not yet ready to be a father either. However, he's found himself growing attached to a pair of orphaned brothers and the man who watches over them. 

Chapter 2

AO3 - Here

Since no seems to be writing wholesome anxceit fics, I decided to take it into my own hands.

-

With his thirtieth birthday one day away, Virgil has since given up on ever finding the love of his life. Oh sure, there had been a boyfriend here or there over the years, but each and every one of his relationships always came to an end. His best friend and coworker at the local public library, Logan, told him that it was estimated that most people in the state of Florida got married at the age of twenty-nine, so Virgil held onto hope that he’d met his special someone before then.

In hindsight, he should have realized that that estimate was for people who weren’t an anxious mess that pushed people away the moment any intimate action was enacted.

That meant that the years of his mid and late twenties passed in a flash of loneliness and disappointment, with no partner or happy ending to show for it. The worst part of it all was probably not the fact he was going to die an old maid, but rather that his nagging, albeit accepting, mother would never let him live it down. Virgil was her only child, and it was a miracle she even had him considering her condition, so he knew that no matter what he’d have her love. That didn’t mean he was free from her constant questioning as to when he was going to bring home a man.

He envied Logan sometimes, he and his boyfriend Patton, another good friend of his, had been together for a little over two years now and were virtually inseparable. Virgil loved the two of them, but sometimes seeing them act like a picture-perfect couple from a marriage poster made him want to go jump out the nearest window and hiss at them until his throat ran dry from dehydration and spite.

Virgil couldn’t do that right now though, because he desperately needed their help on what in the world to do about his situation. 

Currently, he sat with his two best, and only, friends at their favorite diner. He and Logan had just closed up the library an hour ago, while Patton worked as an assistant at an Elementary school and got off a few hours ago. The two were again acting disgustingly cute and perfect, causing Virgil to stab a little more forcefully at his food than necessary.

“Are you sure it’s that big of a deal, Virge? I know tons of people who are dating in their thirties, and even older than that!” Patton told him reassuringly, trying to give solace that he wouldn’t take.

“Of course it is! Most of those relationships end up breaking up anyway. I’m literally one day away from being off the market forever and being alone for the rest of my life, I gotta do something!” Virgil shoving his face with comfort food to avoid a public meltdown.

“Hm, well have you thought of other alternatives to romantic love?” Logan asked from across the booth, sipping on a cup of hot tea.

“I’m not gonna do it with random dudes to feel better, Lo.” Virgil deadpanned, his face contorting with a look of disgust.

“No, I mean something like familial love.” He clarified, setting his cup down on the table and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Perhaps you’d feel a different type of fulfillment if you adopted a child.” He said as if it were perfectly normal to suggest and not at all life-changing.

“Wait, Logan, hold on-”

“Great idea Logan!” Patton chimed in excitedly, “Oh you’ll love the little ones, Virge, they’re so adorable and funny.”

“Pat, that’s not-”

“Not to mention distracting. You’ll hardly notice your lack of an intimate relationship if you're taking care of a child.” Logan added bluntly, slightly stinging Virgil’s nonexistent ego.

“Would you guys just-”

“Ah! We’re gonna be uncles! I can’t wait until they get here!” Patton rambled, cupping his face as he started to drift off into dreamland, imaging whatever kid the two were trying to push onto him.

Realizing that the couple wasn’t going to stop to give him a turn to speak any time soon, Virgil quickly slammed his hands on the table, softly, to not anger the diner staff, and stood from his seat to gain their attention.

“Who said that I wanted to be a father?” Virgil shouted, slightly louder than he had meant. A few other patients of the diner turned to look at them, but Virgil kept his eyes on his friend and tried to keep his embarrassed blush down to a minimum.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to Virgil, it was a mere suggestion,” Logan said, adjusting himself in his seat.

“Yeah, well it felt more like a decision.” Virgil fell back into his seat, pouting.

“Kiddo, it’s okay if you’re not ready, or if you don’t want to at all. But maybe bringing in a little bundle will add new meaning to your life.” Patton said warmly in his ‘dad’ voice, “If you’d like, I can go with you to the local adoption agency where I volunteer to go play with the kids. Maybe that will help?”

Virgil sat silent for a moment with his arms crossed, staring out the window to watch the cars go by on the city street. Tonight had not gone as he had expected it to, he had simply wanted to complain about his loveless life and chug down bowls of ice cream until midnight with his friends. Yet, now he was faced with a new decision in his life that would drastically alter it. While Virgil didn’t necessarily dislike kids, he just hadn’t ever pictured himself with one. Sure, he used to babysit the neighborhood kids to make extra money when he was in high school, but they were someone else’s and he got to give them back when the day was done. If he were to adopt, they’d be his and his alone. It would be his responsibility to feed them, clothe them, house them, and overall care for them.

Although, when he thought about it, it may be nice to go home to a condo that wasn’t quiet and instead filled with childish laughter. He’d have someone to spoil and treat out to meals, and also the perfect excuse to go see the latest Disney movie without feeling like a weirdo. Perhaps, being a dad would be a good thing.

“Fine, we go tomorrow at noon.” Virgil gave in with a deep sigh. A bright and cheery smile then burst onto Patton’s face, while Logan simply gave a knowing grin. “B-but that’s it, I’m just gonna play with the kids!”

Patton laughed kindheartedly and Logan gave him a small humored huff. They both knew Virgil got easily attached, it was part of the reason he chased away every single man that came near him. Because despite all his moaning about wanting a significant other and blaming his crippling old age for why he didn’t have one, it was his actually his own guilt with Matthew that kept him from ever fully committing to another relationship. All he needed was to gain a bit more confidence, and a child may just be what the doctor ordered. 

-

The next day found Virgil standing anxiously outside the Stork Agency building alone as he waited for Patton to arrive. They had both agreed to be there at twelve, but Virgil didn’t want to risk arriving late, so he had come thirty minutes early just in case there was an unforeseen increase in traffic, an accident on the road, or anything else that might happen that would cause him to make Patton wait for him. Except now he was just awkwardly waiting outside an adoption agency looking like a complete creep. Virgil wanted to just be swallowed up by the ground and be taken away from this awkward situation, but thankfully Patton had arrived just in time to save him from his inner turmoil.

“Hey, Virge, Happy birthday! Am I late?” He asked as he closed the door to his car and ran over to where he stood on the sidewalk.

“Nah, you’re all good, and thanks,” Virgil said with a shrug and a grin.

Now that they had met up together there, the pair walked together to the front of the agency, Virgil a step behind. The agency’s building itself was small and looked like an older house. The Stork Agency was known in their city for being a place where fosters often went, actual adoption didn’t happen all too often with the children there. According to the stories, most of the children there had all come from harsh backgrounds, whether it be deceased parents or rescue from abusive households. The majority of hopeful parents looking to adopt wanted children from happier backgrounds, or wanted the child from birth, so the Stork Agency wasn’t the most funded adoption agency around, but they made do with government aid. 

Patton, bless his heart, was inspired to volunteer here because of the children’s unfortunate situation and had been helping out the owner on his days off for the past year. He and Logan both would hear plenty of stories about the silly shenanigans the children got into there, and even a few stories of the owner getting pranked on. If he remembered correctly, the guy’s name was Dexter and he was in his mid-thirties, running the agency with only a handful of helpers. That kind of life sounded extremely stress-ridden to Virgil, he couldn’t fathom how the guy managed.

Walking up the porch steps to the house, Patton reached into his pocket to pull out his key to let them inside. Doubt and unrest began to flood his nerves. I’m just here to play with the kids, He reminded himself in an attempt to calm himself down, I don’t know if I want to adopt yet, I’m just going to play.

“Knock knock! Guess who’s here?” Patton announced his arrival cheerfully once they walked in. 

Virgil closed the door behind them and gingerly took a look around the place. It wasn’t dark, dreary, or full of cobwebs, in fact, the living room was painted a happy yellow color, the furniture was slightly frayed, but not horribly so, and the shelves and walls were decorated with neat little trinkets and paintings. Overall, the house looked rather homey.

The second Patton called out a chorus of cheers sounded from the other room and at least four small children came running in and surrounded them, screaming Patton’s name joyfully. Patton grinned and greeted each one of them at a time and introduced them to Virgil. The children then turned their curious eyes onto Virgil, looking at him with expectant and hopeful eyes. Virgil knew the intent behind them, they all were expecting him to choose one of them to adopt today. If his life were a videogame, he’d unlock an achievement for feeling peer pressured and cornered by small children.

Virgil suddenly felt significantly less comfortable being there, with four bright-eyed and bushy-tailed three to five-year-olds all gazing up at him and circling him almost like miniature vultures, he amazed himself that it had only taken a grand total of forty-eight seconds for him to be trapped by toddlers.

Maybe I’m not actually ready for this.

“Damn it, Remus! Get back here right this instant!” A sudden yell came from the room where the children had come out a minute before, causing Virgil to flinch slightly and look up in confusion and foreboding.

Following that commanding shout, a little brown-haired boy, around perhaps ten years old, came bolting out into the living room, a large smile on his face and a bowl of spaghetti on his head. A tall, older man ran fast on his heels and chased after him into the now crowded space. The boy, Remus apparently, ran and jumped over furniture, leaving drips of tomato sauce in his wake, and found a hiding place right behind Virgil. The man chasing after the kid slowed to a stop once he reached him, finally noticing the stranger in the room.

Now that he was no longer running around Virgil was able to get a good look at the man’s face. It was nice, long, with sharp edges and cheekbones. His eyes were a soft yellowish auburn brown color that reminded him of caramel. His hair was short and neat and a simple light brown, on anyone else it would look plain, but on him it was elegant. There was a patch of different colored skin on the left side of his face, but that seemed to only add to his charm.

Virgil felt like a potato sack in the presence of such a gorgeous looking man.

“Uh, sir?” The beautiful man asked, pulling Virgil out from his distracted thoughts.

“Hm? Oh- yes, sorry!” Virgil spluttered out an apology, dropping his head to stare at his feet, realizing that he had just been ogling this guy for who knows how long.

Damn it, he must think I’m a creep. Stop it, Virgil! you’re thirty years old for goodness sake! Now’s not the time for childish pining. He must hate me now. Well, I just ruined my nonexistent chances.

Virgil’s nervous thoughts scrambled in his mind, turning his words to mush and dropping his self-esteem to negative zero. He knew he looked like a wreck and braced himself for the ridicule that was sure to come. However, he wasn’t met with the sound of disgust or cruel comments that he had been expecting, but rather a light and kind sounding chuckle.

“It’s alright, I’m sorry if we interrupted you, mister…” He trailed off, leaving an opportunity for him to introduce himself.

“Oh, uh, Virgil- Virgil Black.”

“Virgil, huh?” He said thoughtfully. Virgil prepared himself again for ridicule but again didn’t receive any. “What a nice name. I’m Dexter Serpente, owner and head caretaker of Stork.” He held a hand out, removing a rubber yellow glove, and offered it. “Nice to meet you.”

He must have just finished washing some dishes.

“Yeah, uh, likewise,” Virgil said and shook his hand, impressed by how surprisingly firm his hands were.

As they were talking and introducing themselves, Remus, who had taken refuge behind him, had begun to creep out in an attempt to make his escape. Dexter caught on fast to his little scheme, however, and quickly grabbed his shoulder as he tried to run by.

“Ah, ah, ah, not so fast young man.” He tutted and turn to the boy, taking the bowl of spaghetti from his head and set it down on the nearby coffee table so that he could clean out his hair.

“No fair! You took away my crown!” Remus complained, squirming in the adult’s grasp.

“Remus I told you before, being duke of spaghetti does not mean you get to put your lunch in your hair.”

“Yes, it does! Roman gets to have a crown of his own, why can’t I?”

“Because his crown is made of paper.” Dexter sighed, plucking the last noodle off his head. Running his gloved hand through the boy’s hair, Dexter picked up the bowl from the table and then turned to Patton, a look of relief flooding over his face. “Patton, would you mind taking Remus to the bathroom to clean up? I have to make sure the others finish their lunch.”

“Of course!” Patton smiled, leaving Virgil’s side with an encouraging pat on the back before walking over to Remus and leading him away up the flight of creaking stairs to the right of the entryway. 

“I’m sorry about all that, would you like to have a seat while I finish up in the kitchen? Or would you rather spend some time with the kids?” Dexter inquired, shooing the smaller children to the room they were in before.

“Oh, no no, I’m not- I mean I am, uh, I’m-” Virgil stuttered wildly, trying to find the words to convey that he had come with the idea of adopting, but wanted to back out after realizing that he wasn’t as ready as he thought he was.

Dexter, on the other hand, appeared to understand him immediately and held up a hand to stop his rambling.

“It’s okay, trust me, a lot of people have second thoughts.” He said kindly with no ill intent, even so, it still stung Virgil.

“I’m sorry.” Virgil apologized, turning his head away in shame.

“Don’t be, fostering is hard work, it’s okay if you need time.” 

Oh, he doesn’t know. Virgil realized in his head, Dexter had thought that he had just been looking to foster, not adopt. He relaxed a little knowing that, yet another part of him felt slightly saddened. Does he think I can’t handle adopting?

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, visiting hours end at five though. Five of our kids are in school at the moment, but you’ll be able to meet them later if you stay.” The man offered, 

“I don’t know...” Virgil said uneasily, shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet and twiddling his thumbs in the pockets of his hoodie. It may not be such a good idea to stay any longer, he’d only be raising the children’s hopes if he did.

Dexter watched him and discerned what he meant, he let out a small breath but still gave him a forgiving smile. Virgil could tell that he had disappointed the man though and that in itself stung.

“I understand,” he asserted, nodding his head, “I have to go finish with lunch, but it was nice meeting you, Mr. Black.” He said with a small wave.

“You too.” Virgil raised his hand to wave back, but the other had already turned and walked away, “Bye…”

Damn it, why am I like this?

Virgil groaned loudly and hung his head in defeat, stepping over to and falling down onto the beige, loveseat couch to the left side of him, shoving his face into his palms. He knew coming here wouldn’t be a good idea, he’s not good parent material and he never will be. The only thing this visit accomplished was raising many people’s hopes only to not come through in the end. Exactly what had Logan and Patton been thinking when they suggested he do something such as this?

I’m gonna die alone, aren’t I? I can’t adopt, I’m not fit to do so. I can’t get a boyfriend either. All of my relationships end in failure. I shouldn’t even try anymore. Nothing will change, I’m gonna be an anxious mess forever. I’m too old for this.

The abrupt sound of rapid footfalls down the stairs quickly yanked Virgil back into the waking world. Looking over his shoulder, he noticed Patton heading down the old oak staircase, appearing to be in a rush, and jumped up to meet him.

“Well, I gotta go, I only managed to get the morning off on such short notice,” Patton told him, taking off a damp apron and pulling on the coat that he had been holding in his arms. Virgil stood off to the side a ways away from him, looking somber. In his flurry of action, Patton caught Virgil’s gaze momentarily and immediately stopped everything he was doing. “What’s wrong, Virge?”

“I don’t think I can do this, Pat.” Virgil confided, hanging his shoulders feebly.

“Sure you can! You love kids, you’re fun to hang out with, and you’re responsible!” Patton said encouragingly, taking a seat on the couch next to him and putting an arm around his shoulders. “But I’ve never had to deal with a kid for more than one day at a time. The kids here are all looking for someone to be their parent. They’d probably be disappointed if they got me.” He remarked depressingly.

“Virgil,” He said, tone changing, “I know you don’t believe it, but you are so much more than you make yourself out to be. If you truly don’t want to adopt, then that’s fine, but if the only thing holding you back is yourself, then just remember that these kids have been wanting a parent for years. I don’t think they’re very picky.” He told him, patting him on the back and standing back up, “See you later.”

Virgil grunted out a goodbye and listened as his friend walked away and went out the door before he dropped his face into his hands and let out a large exhale. He knew that Patton was right, as usual, but he just couldn’t bring himself to believe in his words. So Virgil conceded to his doubt and anxiety, but before he could spend too long on his train of self-pity, a sudden heavy weight fell into his lap, dangerously close painville. Virgil jolted upright and looked down to see what had just hit him, only to see a mason jar full of dirt and grass, accompanied by the strange boy from earlier. 

“Here.” Remus said crawling up and sitting on the arm of the couch, resting his small head in Virgil’s lap next to the jar in what looked to be an uncomfortable position for the boy’s back, “You looked sad so I thought it would cheer you up.” 

“Oh, uh, thank you?” Virgil said in puzzlement, not really sure how a jar of dirt was meant to cheer him up.

“Why are you sad? Did a trash goblin eat your family?” The boy asked, eyes twinkling with odd curiosity.

“No, that’s not it.”

“Did your favorite pair of pants catch fire?” He guessed again.

“No.”

“Did an octopus-”

“Remus,” Dexter’s stern voice cut off the boy, “Stop bothering Mr. Black and go finish your lunch before it gets cold.”

“Ugh! Fine snake man.” Remus groaned loudly, slumping off Virgil’s lap and walking away with his head hung back.

The two watched the boy walk off, one in amusement and the other in exasperation. Clearly, Dexter had to deal with this kind of behavior on the daily and had grown dulled to all of his strange oddities.

“Snake man?” Virgil asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s a pun of my last name since it means snake.” The other man sighed, putting his, now ungloved, hands in his pants pockets, “You stayed.” He noted.

“I did,” Virgil agreed, not sure why he did, “Ah, he’s really… creative.”

“That is one way to put it.” He huffed, walking over to the armchair across from him and taking a seat. 

“You mentioned earlier that there were some kids at school. Why isn’t he with them?”

“Well, Remus is a special case, he’s only allowed on campus three days a week.”

Virgil frowned at that and looked at where the boy had just exited. A kid his age shouldn’t be restricted from learning because of his personality.

“So… how many kids are here?” Virgil continues,

“Eleven currently, there used to be twelve, but Janice found a foster family three months ago.”

“How long have they been here?”

“It’s different for each kid. Our youngest, Stephen, has been here since he was four months old, although a family is looking into him and he may be leaving soon if the process goes well.” He explained, “Then you have Remus and his twin Roman. They’re almost twelve and have been here since they were two.”

“That’s a long time to be in the system.” Virgil breathed, pitying the boys. You never would have guessed that Remus’s life would have been so rough by how happy he always looked, he wondered how it was for the other twin he hadn’t met yet.

“Well not a lot of parents want twins, and as they grow older the chances of being chosen decrease. Then you have Remus to consider.” Dexter said matter-of-factly, his voice laced with sympathy. 

He could tell that the guardian didn’t mean any spite towards the boy in his words, but he could also see the slightest hint of pain behind his eyes. Virgil wondered to himself what it must have been like to raise them for so long in an orphanage.

“He’s not so bad.” Virgil murmured hushedly, trying to somehow offer his condolences. 

Dexter looked at him for a moment, almost as if he was analyzing him, then looked back off into space with a grin.

“You’d be the first visitor to think so.” He chuckled, Virgil joined him, smiling into his palms. “Where’s your partner, are you going to tell them that you aren’t ready yet?”

The question caught Virgil off guard as he hadn’t been expecting it at all. He guessed that it made sense for most who came here to married couples who couldn’t have children of their own, but the question just shoved the fact that he was still single back into his face.

“No partner to speak of.” Virgil grimaced with a sour face, leaning his elbows onto his knees, closing himself off.

“Really? I’m shocked you haven’t been swept off your feet yet.”

Now Virgil definitely hadn’t expected to hear that, especially from someone of Dexter’s league. There was no way the comment had been meant as a flirt, that was out of the question. It must have been a general statement, after all, it was pretty pathetic for a thirty-year-old to still be single and spending his birthday at an adoption agency.

“I mean, there have been a few guys, but you know how relationships go.”

“Only if they’re assholes. Clearly, you deserve better.” He said gesturing his hand up and down at him. “Bet you have to chase them off with sticks,” Dexter smirked, leaning his body against the arm of his chair and crossing his legs in a way that should be forbidden for mortal eyes to see.

“I- I’m not really, I wouldn’t say-”

Then, by a blessing sent from on high above them, a call from one of the kids in the next room came bursting in, stopping Virgil in his tracks before he could make too much of a fool of himself.

“Dee! Remus is putting olives in his nose again!”

In a flash, Dexter’s cool and collected gusto fell away and was replaced with experienced panic as he instantly jumps up from his armchair to the other room.

“Shit! Sorry I’ll be right back.” He called, backed turned and unable to see the melted puddle Virgil had been reduced to.

A fluke. Virgil told himself, holding his hand to his pounding heart. Surely that had been just a fluke, a joke at best. He didn’t mean anything by it.

Even so, Virgil was on the cusp of having a heart attack all because of one small comment. He had just given up on the possibility of any future relationship, he can’t back down just because one guy appears to be half decent and wildly attractive. Besides, they say the stronger the feelings are at the beginning of a relationship, the harder the fall is. Virgil was not about to set himself up for another disappointment. And, most of all, he didn’t want to be a disappointment.

Warning bells and alarms went off in his head to run, leave this place, and never return, but another, smaller, voice told him to stay. He had come here for the kids after all, and even if he wasn’t ready to adopt or foster, he should at least stay until the others returned from school.

Loud giggles and happy screams vibrated through the house from the other room, accompanied by the sound of a very frustrated Dexter. It drew Virgil out of his pessimistic thoughts with curiosity to what the boy had gotten himself into and brought him to follow after where Dexter and everyone had gone. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight he would see at the doorway. Remus sat on the kitchen counter, nose filled to the brim with olives, while Dexter pulled at the small fruit with tweezers. The whole scene looked both disgusting and hilarious, and Virgil had to cover his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing out loud. 

It seemed as if this happened quite often because it took less than a minute for Dexter to remove them all and Remus was bouncing off the counter in no time. It also didn’t take long for the boy to notice him standing there and came bounding over.

“Racoon man!” He said happily, jumping into his stomach and almost topping them over with the force he came running at.

Raccoon man? I guess I get a nickname too.

“Sorry you had to see that,” Dexter said walking over, wiping his hands on a rag.

“Nah, it’s alright. We all did things when we were young.” Virgil laughed, patting Remus on the head. “Look, I know there isn’t really a reason for me to stay, but maybe I could hang out here for a bit more? Until the others get here, of course.”

A look of surprise flashed across the other man’s face but was quickly taken over by glee.

“Certainly.” He said, welcoming him further into the room with the kids.

The children didn’t get out of school until three, so Virgil had to wait a few hours to meet the four others, but during that time he got to spend it watching the toddlers play, which made the hours go by in minutes with how quickly exhausting it became. Six toddlers, that meant constant screaming, crying, and tantrums. Virgil was a full-grown, thirty-year-old man, yet these children made him want to crawl into a closet and cry. Dexter, on the other hand, handled everything like a champ and didn’t appear fazed at all. Once more Virgil wondered how on Earth the man managed to do everything alone.

Although they were rambunctious for a long while, they did eventually all quiet down after Dexter put on some mind-numbing children’s program and set out snacks in front of all of them. The only one it didn’t satisfy was Remus, who Dexter instead gave a tablet to play games on. Still, Virgil noticed that he would switch from game to game, quickly becoming bored off all of them before returning to an old one or going to a new one.

When the time finally did arrive for the kids to arrive back from school, Virgil was quickly introduced to them all. Virgil was able to tell instantly who Remus’s brother was the second he walked in as they looked exactly like each other. Obviously, because they’re twins. 

Speeding through the introduction, while trying not to look like an inconsiderate ass, Virgil went over Roman and knelt in front of him.

“Sup little dude, what’s your name?” He asked,

“I am Prince Roman Agustus Sanchez of the Stork Household. State your name, peasant.” The boy declared flamboyantly with pride, shocking Virgil with the amount of arrogance of such a small child.

Not only do they look alike, but they also act alike too.

“Roman,” Dexter said warningly, giving the boy a hard look.

“What’s your name… mister?” The boy tried again in a bored voice, head hung low. Virgil frowned slightly at this, he didn’t want him to be a little dick, but he also didn’t want him not to lose his passionate spark, so he tried to speak to him on his level.

“I am Virgil Black, Lord of the Bushnell Library,” Virgil said, with a wide, and slightly sarcastic, bow. Roman perked up at this, no longer looking so glum.

“A lord is lower than a prince, you know that right?” Roman asked him, eyebrow raised.

“Well, I’m not anything special,” Virgil uttered, ignoring the usual sting that always came with how he spoke about himself.

It’s not like I am all that great anyway.

“Okay, enough hanging out in the doorway, how about we all head out to the backyard.” Deceit clapped loudly, shooing the children out down the back hall. The children all filed out, running and shoving, while the twins walked together behind the rest.

Over the course of the day, and even just watching them right now, Virgil noticed that the two didn’t fit in well with the rest of them. Remus got along well with the toddlers because he himself acted like one, but there was still something about him that kept him away from others. Roman, on the other hand, he barely knew, but he could see the stubborn pride the boy had and how he preferred to stick close to his brother. Considering their circumstances of being raised here since such a young age, it was likely they felt like they had no one else but each other.

“They’re good kids,” Virgil commented, watching the two brothers leave.

“I know, all too well.” Dexter agreed, watching them as well. Virgil couldn't help but notice how much of a father he looked like to them rather than a legal guardian, but before he could say anything else, his phone buzzed in his pants. Virgil pulled it out and sighed, realizing that he had the closing shift at the library today. “I guess you have to be going then?”

“Yeah, work. It was, uh, nice to meet you, Mr. Serpente.”

“Dexter,” He corrected, extending a hand forth with a smile, “It was a pleasure.”

Virgil shook his hand, again amazed by how his grip could be so firm, yet so gentle at the same time. Waving goodbye to him, Virgil walked out the door and down the steps. It was strange, he had known them for only a day, yet Virgil felt like he’d miss them, both the twins and Dexter. 

An idea then popped into his head as he walked down the concrete path and he quickly turned around and headed back into the house and through to the backyard where Dexter sat on the grass, watching the kids play, his head snapping up at him as he appeared beside him.

“Actually, you wouldn’t mind if I stopped by next week, would you?”

Dexter’s grin grew wider, and Virgil had to beat away at his feelings with a mental stick to not melt at how adorable it was.

“No, not at all.”

-

One nice thing about working at the public library was that he didn’t have to wake up at six to head to some crappy minimum wage job, instead, he got to wake up at seven to go to a decent, slightly above minimum wage, job. It wasn’t all bad though, he got to read basically any book he wanted to on his breaks or play games on the computers, although that was more of a secret exploit. Plus, with the rise of technology, the internet, and ebooks, Virgil didn’t actually have to deal with that many people than in comparison to his shitty retail and fast food job from back when he was in college. What was even better was the fact that the library closed at eight every day, which meant he never had to work an overnight shift. Although, it did get boring while he was actually on the job. 

Presently, Virgil was tasked with restocking the shelves with the returned books. It was dull and boring, but listening to his typical emo bands through his earbuds help it not be so dreadful. The emo subculture may have died out when he was in high school, but Virgil was too far gone to ever make a change. His wardrobe was so full of black that it was literally impossible for him to wear anything else, except for a few purple items here and there. The library also didn’t require uniforms, although it did have a dress code, so he got to look like a depressing ball of angst as much as he wanted.

A few hours passed by the time he put the last book back into place and returned the cart to the staff room. His task now complete, Virgil looked for something else to do so that he would at least look like a good employee. Megan was currently reading to the children, so that section was taken care of; the computers were being overseen by Jack; Luke and Rosario were on the floor helping visitors; and Logan was handling the front desk, where a line was beginning to form. Quickly, Virgil headed over to one of the tellers and opened up a second line to ease both Logan’s load and the customer's frustration.

“Thank you, Virgil,” Logan said gratefully, checking out the third book from the massive pile he had been handed.

“No prob, bob,” Virgil said back, taking the book from the customer's stretched out hand.

Virgil continued to work alongside Logan until his break arrived and he switched spots with Lillian. Logan took his break along with him and they headed back to the staff room to grab their lunches. Ripping off the lid from his Tupperware Virgil put his container of noodles in the microwave and warmed up last night’s dinner. Logan, on the other hand, had a perfect lunch prepared with all the necessary dietary nutrients the average man needed to stay healthy, at least according to him.

The microwave shouted loudly to announce that his food was now heated and warmed. Virgil opened up the plastic door and took out his food, grabbed his chopsticks, and sat down to eat. It was a simple meal, but it was enough. The two friends sat and ate in silence for a period of time and Virgil was content with leaving it like that, but Logan for some reason decided to change it.

“So, how have your endeavors been with the childcare agency?” He asked, nibbling on a piece of steamed zucchini.

“Good, we’re throwing a goodbye party for little Stephen. His new family just finalized the necessary documents to adopt him.” Virgil answered passively.

“Oh? Good for him.”

“Yeah…”

In truth, it wasn’t much of a party since Stephen was only one and a half and couldn't remember anything. The other children at the house were all going to gift him with hand made cards and then they’d all have a cake bought from the store, which Virgil offered to pick up since both Patton and Dexter would be too busy with decorations and watching the kids.

Dexter had told him when they first met two months ago that Stephen was only four months old when he had arrived, so he had been there for about a year. It was a long time to be without parents any parents, but also no time at all in comparison to some of the others, especially the twins, who have been there for over ten years. Stephen was truly lucky to be getting out so soon and at such a young age.

The conversation ended there, as did their meals. Logan headed back first, while Virgil remained at the table for a few minutes more, wanting to enjoy his break as long as he could. When he finally did return to work, it was filled with that same dull drone as it always was that lasted for hours until his shift ended. But thankfully, he didn’t have the closing shift today.

Virgil went as fast as he could from the library to the grocery store to pick up the cake he had ordered a day in advance. It was a simple confetti cake with strawberry frosting that read ‘Congratulations, Stephen!’ Cake acquired, Virgil drove straight for the little run-down house to help out with the party.

For the past eight weeks, Virgil went to the Stork house at least twice a week, oftentimes just to hang out with the kids. Apparently, they weren’t allowed out of the hours except under supervision by standard order of the government agency that managed them, and since Dexter was often too busy to take them out beyond the backyard, Virgil figured that they would at least want someone to hang out with every once in a while.

As it turned out, Dexter only had one employee, an elderly woman named Alice who managed most of the financial and legal documents that Dexter didn’t have time to look over and take care of. According to Patton, the agency only received the bare minimum to take care of the kids and pay basic bills, Dexter didn’t make enough to hire any extra hands. He had been getting by from the help of Patton and two other volunteers who all came by on separate days throughout the week. That led to another incentive for Virgil to come for visits, not for any special reason or treatment towards the man, but just because he felt Dexter deserved to rest every once in a while.

Arriving at the house, Virgil pulled over to the curb and quickly checked his reflection in the mirror, but only because it was a special occasion, not because of who he would be seeing. Quickly fixing his hair and eyeshadow, making sure he didn’t put on too much, Virgil hopped out of his car, switched out of his work coat and into his patchwork hoodie, and headed for the front door, cake in hand.

Walking up to the door, he rang the doorbell and called out to be let in, “Patton? Dexter?” 

Following his call, the sound of several small footsteps could be heard from behind the door and soon it was opened to reveal two of the younger kids, Christine and Mark, ages seven and five respectively.

“Virgil!” They cheered when they saw him, running up and wrapping their arms around his waist. Virgil laughed and gave them a one-armed hug back.

“Hey Christine, Mark, have you guys seen Dexter?” He questioned, following them inside, closing the door behind them.

“He’s standing right here.” Dexter’s voice came ahead of him. Virgil looked up and noticed that Dexter was standing in the mouth of the hallway watching him, dressed in one of his usual button-up shirts and black slacks. Virgil then wished he had worn something a bit nicer than ripped jeans.

“Dexter! I-I didn’t see you there.” Virgil said, standing up from his hug with the kids, “I brought the cake.”

“Wonderful, let’s set it up in the kitchen.” Dexter smiled, taking the cake from his hands and leading the way to the kitchen down the hall. Virgil followed close after, bringing Christine and Mark with him, but sent them on their way to the back room where he could see some of the other children were.

“How’s everything been going?” Virgil asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“With the party or just in general?” Dexter asked, setting the cake on the kitchen counter next to a large bowl full of popcorn, and another filled with chips.

“Uhm, both I guess,” He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pockets.

Dexter watched him through the corner of his eye before replying, “Everything is almost ready, the kids are spread out making their cards. I invited Stephen’s new parents to come to join us, so they’ll be here in a little while.” Rummaging through one of the cabinet doors, he pulled out a packet of small paper plates and plastic forks, and placed them on the counter, “Would you mind setting the table?”

“Yeah, of course,” 

“Oh, and Virgil?” Dexter spoke again, stopping Virgil in his steps, “I like your outfit today.” Dexter winked, grabbing the two bowls of junk food and walking out of the kitchen to the backroom. 

A ship could have been led through the darkest night with how brightly Virgil flushed at his comment. His knees nearly gave out beneath him and Virgil swore that he was on the brink of passing out from embarrassment. 

He’s just joking, it doesn’t mean anything.

It wasn’t the first time Dexter had told him something like that, and he secretly wished it wouldn’t be the last. Despite it all being just a silly joke, Virgil hadn’t been complimented like that in a long time, not since Matthew.

Virgil quickly shook that thought out of his head and recollected himself before grabbing the plates and utensils, heading to the connected dining area to set the table.

The way the floorplan of the house was set up, the kitchen dining area, and the backroom were all connected without a door in an L-shape. This meant that Virgil was able to see Dexter as he worked. He did his best to keep his eyes on his task and not let them stray, but his eyes would often betray him and drift towards the caretaker, who sat with seven kids surrounding him, trying to keep them calm and entertained as they worked on their cards. Virgil couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face at how domestic it all looked.

“Hey, Virge?” Patton called behind him, walking in from the hallway.

“Yeah?” Virgil responded walking over to him, noticing how Dexter’s eyes seemed to follow him and tried to play it off as if he didn’t.

“Everything is ready, but no one knows where Remus is. Could you check in the boys’ room?” Patton asked cradling little Stephen in his arms, patting his back as the child drank from a bottle.

“Sure thing,” Virgil nodded, giving two thumbs up as he pushed passed him and headed up the stairs to the boys’ room. Honestly, he was happy to get out of that room and be given a chance to calm his heartbeat.

Seriously, it’s pointless, I shouldn’t even think about him that way. It won’t lead anywhere.

Walking up the short staircase, Virgil went to the first door on the right where the twins and two other boys all shared a room. It was small and cramped, containing two sets of bunk beds and two dressers, leaving very little room for anything else. It only took a quick look to spot Remus sitting in the corner behind one of the beds. As he crept closer, the sight of him cutting shapes out of pieces of paper came into view.

“Hey, Remus. You okay?” The young boy shrugged his shoulders, cutting out the shape of an octopus, “Do you want to talk about it?”

The boy didn’t answer for a moment but ceased in his paper cutting, then answered, “I don’t wanna go to the party.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t want to scare Stephen’s new parents away,” Remus confessed crossing his arms over his knees and tucking into himself. 

“You think they’d be afraid of you?” He asked in a mix of confusion and saddened shock.

“They all are. It’s why Roman and I haven’t been adopted, I chase them all away.” He cried, eyes tearing up.

Within the time that he had been there, Virgil had never seen the boy look anything but happy, with a rare bout of childish rage, it looked unnatural for him to be so sad. Virgil had wondered if the boy had been affected by his situation, but he hadn’t realized it had hurt him so deeply to the point of believing he was the reason he and Roman hadn’t been adopted.

Gently, Virgil sat down next to the boy and pulled him into a loose side hug, leaving him room to push him away if he wanted. Remus quickly leaned into him and tucked his head into Virgil’s shoulder, staining it with snot and tears, not that he minded.

“That’s just because they don’t know you, Remus. It’s easy to judge someone, but harder to know them. Someone will come along, you’ll see.” Virgil promise, running a hand through his messy hair.

Remus looked up at him and wiped his eyes, sniffing, “You really think so?” 

“I do, I like you, and someone else will too.” Virgil smiled, standing them both up, “Now, come on, let’s give baby Stephen a happy goodbye.”

“Okay! Do you think he’ll like my card?” Remus asked, showing him the card he had been working on. It read ‘Hapy New Perents Day’ with little pictures of octopuses, dolphins, and unicorns. The spelling concerned him though, he wished that the school would let him go for more than just three days a week. But perhaps he could bring books to Remus from the library to help him.

“I’m sure he will,” Virgil told him, taking his hand and leading him out and down the stairs.

For now, the spelling won’t matter, Stephen is only one year old after all.

The party had begun downstairs and the new parents were in the backroom sitting on the couch with their new son in their arms. The children each took turns handing the couple the cards since Stephen couldn’t read them, and Remus quickly ran from his side to go join them.

“It seems like Remus has grown pretty attached to you,” Dexter noted walking up to him. “He really likes you.”

“He’s a sweet kid when you look past his eccentricities, he’ll make a family happy one day,” Virgil responded, watching as said boy began poking at the air around Roman, not actually touching him, but irritating his brother nonetheless.

“You truly believe that?” Dexter asked, voice becoming earnest.

“Don’t you?” Virgil shot back, wondering why he would ask such a thing.

“It’s not that I don’t, it’s just,” He paused, looking into his eyes as if he were searching for something in them, “You continue to surprise me, Virgil Black.”

Virgil blushed again, suddenly realizing just how close they were, and took a step away, clearing his throat. Dexter did the same and let the conversation drop. The air became awkward around them, and yet, it felt nice to stand next to him.

“Thank you,” Virgil whispered, wondering if he was even heard.

“Of course,” Dexter responded, and then left to greet the parents along with Patton. Virgil watched him from a distance, thinking that’s where he belonged.

Over the course of his life, he had been the downfall of so many relationships, went through so much heartache, until he eventually gave up hope of ever finding someone to love who would love him back. Yet, despite all that pain and regret, he found himself again wishing for another chance, but unwilling to risk another fracture to his broken heart. Each time he came here he left wanting to never come back so he could move on and not keep feeding his ridiculous fantasy, but he always came back for two major reasons. The twins, Roman and Remus, who had been without parents their entire lives, who he’s grown attached to; and also the owner of the house and caretaker of the twins, who threatened to squeeze his way into Virgil’s guarded heart every time he saw him.

Virgil had really driven himself into a corner this time and wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get out of it intact. 

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@omikkydraws @stormypain-t I’m tagging you since you both commented on my ask post earlier