maiapattinson

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT// CHAPTER 26

Rob's Pov

⎯ You betrayed her Robert! Do you know what that means?!

⎯ Mom, I didn't want to

⎯ Shut up! ⎯ my mother yells at me ⎯ Did I raise you badly? Didn't I give you a certain education? Why the hell did you betray her!?

⎯ That's not it

⎯ Oh, it's not Robert. And don't even think about thinking that I'm going to wipe you out because I won't ⎯ she explains ⎯ Shit Robert, cheat on her?

⎯ This is a matter between me and her ⎯ I reply ⎯ Only she and I will know. ⎯ I didn't raise you like this.

⎯ For mother, please.

⎯ You had a family, a son Robert ⎯ she looks at me with depravity ⎯ You were happy with her, you had my grandson.

⎯ Harry died mom, ok. My son died, that's enough, it's over!

⎯ No, sir Robert Pattinson did not pass ⎯ she mocks ⎯ She was on guard for your son, she was in need of comfort!

⎯ And you think I didn't need comfort? ⎯ I reply ⎯ It's not JUST about her mom, not all about Y/n!

⎯ At least she calls her parents ⎯ I grumble in response ⎯ Without her you wouldn't even come here.

⎯ Do you want to make her a son? Go do it! ⎯ I answer cold

⎯ The same thing they did to you one day, you are causing it to her and without any pity ⎯ she lifts my face ⎯ I hope that one day she forgives you my son, or, you will be happy with this girl. But never forget that the wrong was you and not her.

⎯ I didn't want to go ⎯ I start to cry remembering the scene ⎯ I didn't want to betray her...and...it was a moment of weakness.

⎯ You're wrong ⎯ hug the short lady in front of me ⎯ I don't want to lose like I lost my mother son ⎯ bitter crying ⎯ I don't want to lose Y/n!

⎯ I'm sorry, you already lost her Robert. And it was like that for the next few days, looking through her things in small numbers in my apartment with giant memories.

I miss you my love, I miss Harry, I miss your smell, your warmth, your body and your love for me.

⎯ Get up now! ⎯ Victoria opens the bedroom door going to the window letting the light in ⎯ Come on Robert.

⎯ Leave me the fuck alone ⎯ I mumble through the sheets

⎯ What a fucking apartment huh, you took care of yourself now it's all dirty! ⎯ she keeps opening the windows

⎯ Get the fuck out of here, seriously leak! ⎯ I sit on the bed

⎯ "Get out of here" is the fuck, go take a shower and wait for me in the living room ⎯ she looks at me ⎯ I'm asking Robert!

⎯ Seriously Victoria leave me alone ⎯ I reply

⎯ Take off your clothes, young man, and go straight to the shower now, take as long as you want, you're the one who pays the bill ⎯ she finishes talking and but once it comes to your memory

Flashback: 2012, December 23

The room was dark with no life whatsoever, clothes on the floor, articles torn and looking like a movie set. I light another cigarette in the middle of the darkness that was, until I hear a knock on the bedroom door.

⎯ Rob, I know you need to be alone but ⎯ my girl's voice echoed through the doorway ⎯ You don't have to stay like this, without eating, without washing. Damn Robert it's Christmas ⎯ she walks into the room

⎯ That's why it's Christmas, you should be with your family, right? ⎯ I reply hoarse from the cigarette Y/n was a very good person for me, she was my Brazilian who surrounded me with party and joy.

She had the unique way that if the world knew her it would be enchanted, she knew about feelings, sensations and emotions. She writes erotic books and they are wonderful and horny on anyone, I love this girl for the simple fact that she is human and doesn't like herself sometimes but is who she really is. No filter or shit, just Y/n Arantes. Lying in bed laughing, I look at her seeing her eyes on me.

⎯ You're the one I never want to lose ⎯ I pull her body into mine ⎯ I need you, you're my best friend and my lost soulmate.

⎯ That was a compliment Mr. Pattinson?

⎯ I nod yes ⎯ You will never lose me, I will always be here with you regardless of whether I'm with someone or not.

⎯ I love you ⎯ I whisper to her giving her a small kiss on the forehead

⎯ I love you too, my love ⎯ he gives me a quick kiss ⎯ My little Robert.

End of Flashback

⎯ My little Robert ⎯ I whisper to myself whimpering

⎯ Are you crying Robert? ⎯ Victoria lifts my face ⎯ Talk to me go

⎯ I wish it had worked out ⎯ I answer sadly ⎯ Go Victoria I lost my son, damn it's hard. ⎯ Cheating wasn't the expensive option, even more so with her ⎯ she replies and crouches in front of me

⎯ I came here to curse you.

⎯ Go on, say I'm a motherfucker, bastard, heartless or worse ⎯ look down ⎯ Look at this fucking apartment, I still feel her here with me!

⎯ She didn't die Robert

⎯ You needed to see her disappointed look looking at me, she has the same fucking Harry look ⎯ crying ⎯ She was upset with me

⎯ Why betray her Robert? You had it all.

⎯ I don't have anything else, because everything I had I'm losing ⎯ I throw myself on the bed ⎯ I want her!

⎯ Who did you cheat on her with? ⎯ Victoria throws herself next to me ⎯ With a whore? With your ex? go talk

⎯ With the ⎯ grumble ⎯ Never mind

⎯ It matters to me Robert, who knows what that person can say out there. Fuck, it's Harry, it's the breakup and if this falls into the hands of any journalist, then the fuck is Y/n.

⎯ What are you talking about? ⎯ I'm saying that the attacks she's been suffering since Harry's death are not few ⎯ she gets up and takes her cell phone

⎯ Look! I start reading the comments about me and Y/n.

@robslover:this bitch never asked herself why Robert was with her

@mylovepattinson:Y/n fucking trash! Making my baby suffer!

@pattiworld:Fdp man taker dude, well done losing that fucking troublesome kid!

@ sukiandrob: I hope she dies next time like this child she was carrying, DISGUSTING FUCK

⎯ Victoria arrives.

⎯ See what she has to spend this time Robert ⎯ she sighs ⎯ I trusted you so much, I thought they would marry and be happy, but the fuck you take and fuck someone

⎯ I was trying Victoria but I don't know, I was stupid.

⎯ Give me her ring go ⎯ she holds out her hand ⎯ For you to get out of her life go

⎯ No, the ring is not

⎯ Have an ounce of feelings for her shit, give it to me and I'll give it to her.

⎯ You don't know what it's like to love Victoria ⎯ I look at the ring

⎯ Who loves doesn't hurt or betray Robert, doesn't remember Kristen and I'm sure you remember that it was Y/n who was with you when you were down ⎯ she throws the words at me

⎯ Get out of here go ⎯ She leaves ⎯ by eye

⎯ She wants to leave here Robert.

⎯ But she can't have her job, her house, her friends and even her family here!

⎯ BUT SHE DOESN'T FUCKING HAVE YOU! ⎯ she screams ⎯ YOU HURT THE GIRL AND GET THAT GUILT FACE BECAUSE IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

⎯ I know that!

⎯ Give me the ring and let her get on with her life Robert and I as your sister want you to do it for her or your son ⎯ she says ⎯ If you really consider your son's death to be you Robert Pattinson, you're going to give this to me and will disappear from her life.

⎯ You are nobody to decide what I do Victoria, the story is between her and me and nobody else!

⎯ Cheating is an act of cowardice Robert and you did it, coward that's what you are! ⎯ Enough! ⎯ A bitch of a spoiled coward!

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//CHAPTER 25

As 1 week has passed, 2 months have passed since Harry happened, I may still be recovering but I'm a little better than before to be more exact and if it depends I wouldn't be. I started to leave the room more often, I went back to my house, sometimes I visit Harry with flowers he would like. I could be in the last phase of grief, acceptance, I knew my son would never come back and I knew I would remember him forever. It was the most beautiful and pure chapter of my life and it will continue to be, my parents call me everyday asking me about my day or how I'm doing. I went back to drinking. Robert, we don't pull away but it seems like we're the line of distances, everyday or when he gets it he lies next to me, puts his arms around my waist and falls asleep with me. Something in both of us has changed and we know that our relationship has gone downhill, we are distant and sometimes a little close. We no longer have the issue of love at the moment, he always comes back late and already tired I can't judge him I arrived like this, I think the relationship is no longer the same, we are both healed and now it's time for new air. I love Robert but I love him enough to let him go.

⎯ How was his day? ⎯ look at him ⎯ Rehearsals with Dior, interview for a magazine, no big deal ⎯ he answers ⎯ And yours?

⎯ Looking for a job and talking to Noah a few times ⎯ sigh ⎯ Don't look at me like that, I lost that huge job and there's no turning back.

⎯ Come home, to our house, you and I.

⎯ Our relationship is so far from us ⎯ I reply ⎯ Robert, I think we should take it easy, all over again.

⎯ You know ⎯ he gets up

⎯ That's your problem Robert, we hardly ever talk to each other and when we do it's just to say "it's ok".

⎯ As if you were the right one here, right ⎯ he replies ⎯ You closed in on me, before it was you and me Y/n and now we're not even half of it!. Do you think this is how I want to live this way!?

⎯ If you can forget about our son faster than me, congratulations Robert ⎯ I get up ⎯ For me this shit is still in my head ok!

⎯ Stop using our child for excuses!

⎯ HE DIED ROBERT! ⎯ shout at him ⎯ OUR SON IS DEAD!

It was a little easier to say it out loud than to think and state the sentence in thought.

⎯ We need time.

⎯ I'll get my things and leave ⎯ he enters the room and I stare at the floor until the cell phone rings and I look

"Yara" the name flashed on Robert's cell phone screen, why was she calling him at 9 pm on a Friday? Wouldn't he be cheating on me or something? I go to my room and stop him.

⎯ You know when I stayed with you when Kristen cheated on you, you said you would never do the same Robert and you saw the state you were in that fucking day! ⎯ he looks at me ⎯ So why the fuck, at this time of night my stepsister is fucking calling you!?

⎯ It's nothing you're thinking about.

⎯ I swear Robert, I hope this is a fucking lie ⎯ I touch your face ⎯ Tell me this is all a lie Please tell the truth.

He looks at me with that same look as when he was wrong with me, he takes my hand and I take a deep breath.

⎯ I'm not cheating on you ⎯ he speaks and I hand him the ringing cell phone

⎯ Answer Robert, please ⎯ he answers and turns on the sound

- Hi blondie, how are you?

- Why are you calling me at this time Yara?

- Wow, how bad, I missed my favorite brother-in-law

- Miss what?

- You know, of our nights, you and I together. In that motel remember?

⎯ Robert ⎯ I sigh looking at him

- There's nothing like a motel Yara, are you delirious?!

- Yes, yummy, I'm delirious later that night! He hangs up his cell phone and throws it on the bed and hugs me.

⎯ Please don't go please ⎯ he asks hugging me ⎯ Sorry fuck sorry, please, please Y/n don't go away!

⎯ Let me go ⎯ I speak without a voice

⎯ Please Y/n, it was a please moment and it wasn't like that...

⎯ LEAVE ME THE FUCK! ⎯ I take the air

⎯ Please ⎯ he whispers and I push him away ⎯ Let's talk please.

⎯ I was guarding and mourning our son and you betraying me Robert!? ⎯ I speak indiguinated ⎯ OUR SON DIED AND YOU TRAINED ME!?

⎯ I DON'T BETRAY YOU!

⎯ Oh no, you didn't cheat on me Robert, really? ⎯ I approach him ⎯ Was what she said a lie? Or did I hear wrong!? Go SPEAK!

⎯ I DON'T BETRAY YOU! ⎯ he insists

⎯ So what the fuck did you do to her Robert? ⎯ clean my face ⎯ Please speak for your remaining dignity!

⎯ I went out with her a few times and... A... We talked and she understood me!.. ⎯ he responds stuttering

⎯ So she understands you!?, really Robert?! ⎯ I sit on the bed ⎯ We were going to get married, I was going to try a child again Robert and you go and do this with my sister!? ⎯ he kneels in front of me

⎯ There was no sex I promise, it was just drinking and nothing else ⎯ he starts crying

⎯ Please don't go away, please go away.

⎯ The same thing they've done to you is doing to me.

⎯ I don't betray you, for our son Y/n!

⎯ STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM!

⎯ I'm sorry, please ⎯ he takes my hand ⎯ Forgive me, please!

⎯ Take your things and get out of here Robert.

⎯ Please Y/n, let me explain please ⎯ he insists.

⎯ I won't repeat, take your things and leave ⎯ the eye ⎯ You're dead to me Robert Pattinson.

And there I was as a child, lonely and afraid, how my parents separated in front of me, how I wished it never happened and did. You died for me Robert and you will stay dead.

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//CHAPTER 24

With time the pain of the two would dissolve according to the media, the two knew that the pain was the feeling now both physically and mentally, a child was something that the two had had in their dreams. It was the chance for the two to fulfill their dreams and settle down, everything was ready, clothes, house, money, and it wasn't even for the money but for the son. The pressure on Y/n was even greater than Robert's was things and troubling sensational headlines even, it was things like: "She was too weak", "It was all her fault", "She deserved more". The whole world knew about the loss but they only welcomed Robert for his position, in addition to the machismo and prejudice about the girl her name was being used on several horrible occasions, a mother always wants the good of her child and even if it hurt a lot, Robert and S /n knew that the best thing for little Harry was for him to go in peace. Y / n is now the mother of an angel who looks at her from above every day and keeps her face and little body in memory of her. 1 month of the loss and they were still reporting on websites, magazines, gossip newspapers and just listening to Robert's part. He is not to blame and positioned himself in various situations about what he wanted or did not want to say, he returned to smoking and drinking, he had promised in his beloved's pregnancy that he would not do anything like that to preserve the health of the beloved and her angel. They buried the little one and it was the image they will never forget. Some famous and friends of the two manifested and left their condolences to the couple, Y/n's parents returned to Brazil and insisted the little girl to go with them to clear her head but she didn't want to. Since then Robert has given her as much love and tried to be strong but the mother misses her son, they no longer have the intimacy of intimacy, sex, touch, they were not prepared for that. Maybe someday there would be a chance to have another chance to be happy again. Y/n spent a lot of time in the hospital, postpartum depression was the cause, crying coerced by the fear of going out on the streets and being attacked. She never deserved this and neither of them could do anything. Robert's parents always supported them both, his sisters knew HOW hard it was for both of them, Y/n's friends too. They won't go through life together but their hearts will be together even if the world ends, Robert Pattinson and Y/n Arantes will ALWAYS love each other. ⎯ How was your day? ⎯ Noah asks her friend next to Robert ⎯ It was normal. ⎯ Noah knew that his friend was gathering all her strength to answer ⎯ Tell me about yours. ⎯ Anna and I went to the park today, you should have gone ⎯ he replies and she looks down sadly ⎯ But I'm glad you had this big guy here, huh. ⎯ Yeah, glad he was here ⎯ she replies and settles down next to him ⎯ Did you meet anyone? ⎯ Yes and no, well it was a glimpse ⎯  Noah responds and looks at Robert ⎯ Are you okay? ⎯ Huhm ⎯ he replies, Robert was recovering better than Y/n just like she was when he needed her. ⎯ Tell me more ⎯ Y/n asks her friend to smile because she is interested It was few moments that Y/n was interested in something, Robert wished his mind was too busy not to think about what had happened, Noah was her best friend and he came every day to see his friend and try to cheer her up. ⎯ How did she spend the night last night? ⎯ It was a small advance, the doctors said she is starting to accept it but it's too early to say anything about it ⎯ Rob responds by covering his beloved in bed ⎯ This shit they're talking about her is so cruel, how can they think something like that about the girl ⎯ Noah wanted to cry now ⎯ Take care of her Robert, she's still very hurt. ⎯I am caring. But was Robert weak too?, had he gotten over the death of his son?, or, he just hoped that someday his life would be normal. The day in Los Angeles was even a little too cold for the temperatures there, Robert walked covered in the icy streets, it was the warmth he wanted so much at

the moment the warmth he would have today in the arms of his baby. Everyone recognizes him but respects him for the moment until he stops at a corner bar, Robert Pattinson is just like us, a human being who suffers and drowns his sorrows in drink like any other adult. He sat on the bar stool, one girl the other with the wild look of someone who just wanted sex, the bartender looked at him and looked at her. ⎯ What do you want? ⎯ he tells Robert ⎯ I just want a drink that I can forget about some things ⎯ he asks and receives one of the strongest ⎯ Serve me the same as him ⎯ Robert looked at the beautiful girl who was beside him looking at him ⎯ Cheers. ⎯ Cheers ⎯ Robert wasn't there anymore, he was wrong and wrong A LOT there now ⎯ Mr Pattinson, I never thought you would ever be here ⎯ she says ⎯ Nice to meet you, Yara. Robert didn't know, Yara was someone very close to him and even more to Y/n. He didn't know Y/n's stepbrothers for obvious reasons, probably because he never asked himself and was very interested, Y/n wasn't very interested in this part of his family either. But she knew that as prevalent as Robert seemed to her, we all have our fantasies about something or someone that doesn't belong to us. Yara had lusted after Robert since she was 12 years old and he was twice as old as hers, she always thought Y/n shouldn't have Robert in her bed every night, his sex, his dick going deeper and deeper into her. your sister". It was her choice to do this, how far this would go. She didn't want sex, she wanted him.4obertrobert Pattinson

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 23

*narrator on*

For all those who have lost a child and the feeling of guilt is anger makes their head now, well people are human and have feelings no matter how big or small, they will always have their own answers. Saying goodbye to a person is a strange pain that never seems to go away and that hurts most of our chest, that feeling of guilt and anger at oneself is comforted by coldness. When someone is lost, feelings organize themselves to appropriate the address in the dark place of life, look at the sky and see the stained in its blue moonlight.

Even though they were aware that death could come for the little one, both of them had the feeling of hope between them that to this day he pulsates to know his true face. Your child's happy face will be forever etched in your memories that are now being stained with grief, the famous feeling of discrediting and reinforcing. You can't predict the future or change the past, and maybe we should learn from our present if it hurt you in the future you will know and if in the past it made you happy, today in the present they feel grateful.

An image of a strong man and woman who are never shaken is the purest lie, it's small fractions of courage to try again but they are giant reasons to give up. Harry wasn't a child who came to earth just to show his love in hours and go back to heaven, but to show everyone that love is real, he really wanted to go back and stay in his mother's arms, feeling her warm lap and your heart like a beautiful piano, I really wanted to have the life that was directed but your little place is now in the immense love of your parents. Harry could say and describe his parents in beautiful and beautiful words, purity and innocence, work and effort, sadness and rupture, a passionate Brit and connected to a Brazilian safe with everyone.

At the moment the house was painful, it was the house that Robert and Y/n had chosen to raise little Harry there with them. Outside the gates there were many people, reporters, paparazzi and present, it was a fact, they knew that there had been the first tragedy of the Pattinson family but not everyone was there with good intentions. Many wanted a positioning of the same to create a sensationalist news on the networks to earn raises and even a promotion, when you have fame you carry the burden of feeding on fake caresses and real pain, that world lost the total color it had at the time that the little being stopped breathing.

It was difficult for Robert to see that empathy was the biggest fault in the world, the house was closed by curtains that went to the floor giving little light in all the rooms. The sky was sadder than the weather in Los Angeles was predicted, channels around the world reported the loss of Robert Pattinson but not the true feeling of Y/n Arantes. She felt her son all the time until her last tear, it was killing the house, everyone was busy with their bodies and their minds alone and dark. Finally, the ray of light is gone.

Robert had to be strong to help his mate and he owes it to her in every way. They were boyfriends but both knew that their relationship was much more than just "boyfriends" there was the passion of centuries, the chemistry of years and the pure essence. Looking at his relatives taking turns to see how they were making him angrier with himself, it wasn't his fault or anyone else's, it was science.

⎯Rest Robert I see her,she is my daughter I know her well⎯it was true for Robert he and Paulo knew his way of dealing with pain.

⎯I'll try to dismiss everyone downstairs, I'll take care of the housework and the funeral⎯there was pain in Robert's voice and as hugs were the way Arantes show love it was no different

⎯Don't blame yourself or cover yourself, it was a loss and there will be others but Harry is too proud of his father⎯Paul tells Robert he was sniffling with tears⎯There is a difference between all the moments and this is those moments when you you need to put your head down and see the calm of human contact, today in that room my daughter cries but in a long time she will get over it.

⎯He was a lot like her⎯he wipes her face after hearing his father-in-law's words

⎯ He was yes, don't worry about crying and giving up because we are parts of human lives that suffer, suffering is everyone Robert now needs to accept his.

Paulo was not good with words as his daughter was writing loves but they shared the same feeling of insecurity and living, two hearts formed one and from that one heart was born Robert's favorite person. He waited for her for only 3 years but he waited for millions of years and in other lifetimes.

It was him for her and she for him always.

With a sinking heart and solemn anguish he entered their shared room, she was sitting there by the window listening to the crowd scream instead of silence. With silent footsteps Rob takes her to his chest and strokes her head, that's comfort.

⎯I could go back in time and save him⎯she says in her crying voice and it was not her custom to cry

⎯Need to get some sleep and eat⎯he suggests thinking listening to her mate's low cries⎯Don't cry, look at me.... honey.

Eye contact is the smart and formal way to communicate. There was only pain and loss in her eyes there, it killed him.

⎯ It's okay⎯ it wasn't but it was time for him to be the strong one⎯ It's going to be okay, my love.

In days Robert didn't call her that, she didn't want to be called or heard she just wanted to be left for dead.

⎯ It's wrong to cry like a child, I should be tidying up the funeral and house daddies⎯ Y/n says wiping her eyes trying to take away all the worry Robert had about her ⎯ I want to go home, to my house.

⎯Yes of course⎯it was not the choice to walk away from him or her today the need was to join

⎯Come on⎯she puts a fake, sad smile on her lips to face the crowd.

There were all kinds of fans and representatives that had already taken a large proportion, the world of celebrities had already known and resolved how to be discreet. It was a life the motive and it was a thousand problems.

And in the moonlight of the night, they lay in the same bed with complete respect. Y / n still had labor pains and stitches but what hurt that it wasn't her son who would wake her up at dawn but her sad nightmares with the death of the little one.

⎯Y/n....

⎯Yes⎯whispering

⎯I love you⎯Rob says and it was the purest truth

⎯I love you too little Robert⎯she replies in all sadness

It was never height or anything related to Rob; little Rob's promise was always little Harry's conquest that for Y/n, his reasons were small to give up and giant to be in his heart.

This is little Harry's journey to bring happiness even if from afar to his parents who love him giant.

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 22

Warning; Contains a trigger and an account of a mother who lost her child, if you are sensitive do not read.

This is the point of view of Harry's little life with his mother.

On July 25th at almost 5 am you arrived in the world, fragile and too small. I carried you for 6 months and it was 6 months, you couldn't have come today but you did, with your little cry announcing your giant arrival. Today you a beautiful baby made me a better woman, made me a stronger and noticed woman, you are not just a small human but a great warrior from now on.

I heard your low cry but it was the most beautiful music to my ears, it was in a bathtub, in a humanized and premature birth that brought you to life.

Your father was a great helper for your arrival, he has been with me since you were made until this time. You have his face and frame and even with your fragile little body reveals a big brave boy, of those who would surely protect everyone around you.

All my pain was gone the moment you were, but now the pain is different, at this moment the pain I carry is the pain of losing you and not being able to tell you how important you are to me.

Your father will love to hold you in his lap and tell you a thousand whispers that you are strong and that you can.

The moment you arrived, Marcos wrapped you up and placed you on my lap showing me that you were alive and well, I looked your complete gaze at me and your body was so tiny, Harry, my private little crowd.

⎯He's so beautiful⎯I say because I didn't have the strength to cry⎯It's our baby Robert.

⎯You did it my love⎯ he whispers in my ear smiling

⎯Hey mom, it's me⎯I reply trying to keep my conscience clear⎯Hey mommy.

⎯Robert⎯Marcos talks approaching⎯She's going to faint⎯he says and everything becomes even darker

Harry you were so full and so natural in my arms, you were in complete control of me at that time and all I wanted to do was see you and take care of you.

I already imagined our trips to Brazil, I would show you the beaches of Rio, the great buildings of São Paulo, the entire Goiânia culture for you. Brazil would be ours, you would be my private crowd along with your father. Would love to see you in some of the thousands of pictures they would take of you, would protect you from the worst and protect you from death, you are just a little baby and a baby that will survive.

I wake up with my mind dizzy and not feeling as muscular as possible, I assume it's an anesthetic for the pain of the stitches.

⎯Woke up, you did so well⎯the crying voice of my father beside my mother relieves me

⎯Where is he?, where is my son? Robert?⎯I worry

⎯Hey, it's okay. They took Harry for normal procedures and Robert is with him⎯ my dad responds and I look at my crying mom

⎯ Mom, why are you crying?

⎯You are as strong as I imagined⎯she replies sure of my mother I could see the fear in her eyes

⎯Come on, Rob needs to come in⎯my says saying goodbye and making room for Robert who comes in with a surgical outfit

⎯Robert....⎯I say to him taking my hand and smiling

⎯ You were so strong, thank you so much for all that strength⎯ he says kissing my hand ⎯ Harry, he's fine but with complications in his lung, he's with Marcos.

⎯Bring him here, please⎯he helps me sit up and going

It was there that I truly saw you, you wrapped in blankets and wearing your first outfit I chose for you. Your father put you on my lap and I was filled with emotion to see what I had created, fed and brought to this true world in hours. All worry was abducted as I laid your little head against my chest to see you breathing.

⎯He looks so much like you⎯I say proud of myself with the little one on my lap⎯Harry Thomas Arantes Pattinson

⎯Yes, he looks like me but he has your look⎯he replies smiling and sitting next to my bed⎯Y/n....

⎯Please, I beg of you....⎯cry making as little noise as necessary⎯Leave me with him, he is a healthy and strong baby.

⎯ It's not within our reach, I don't want to either.

⎯He is our son Robert, we fought so hard to have him here⎯I take a deep breath

⎯Y/n.....⎯he looks at me with the most beautiful eyes in the world⎯Marcos said that, it's normal to happen.

⎯Fuck Rob, normal?⎯I say terrified⎯He's a baby.

⎯ I know my love ⎯ He wipes my tears and I see it hurt him too ⎯ He's our baby and always will be, but it's the facts...

⎯I don't want to lose our son Robert, I don't.

14 hours after giving birth.

The hours could pass but no time is enough for me to stay by your side Harry, can you hear my help for you?. Looking at you inside a cramped incubator with artificial air without you by my side, kills me, slowly and forever.

My crowd.

I could hear Rob crying from behind the door, my crying came from the bathroom because I couldn't cry next to him. You don't deserve to be in such a situation, I without any religion decided to appeal to those who call God.

⎯I've never talked to you and I don't know how to say it, but my son doesn't deserve what is happening to him is not fair to that child. He only has hours to live, let my son live⎯I try to complete without embarrassing my tears⎯He is a child, take me in his place. I've lived a lot in this life, I've never given any problems so help me with it now. You help those who ask right?, because then, I'm in a bathroom asking you to help me.

I didn't know if anything would help you Harry, but I asked Him a lot. You're such a sweet child why you leave now? I don't want you to go We need you so much.

That same night I dreamed that you were fine but I cried when I saw that it was just another illusion.

20 hours after delivery .

I could feel his father's gaze on us behind the glass, he'd been there for almost a whole day and I knew he wouldn't know.

⎯Harry, did you know that I fell in love with your father when I was very little, I saw him playing and I thought he was a prince and he thought I was a princess. When you grow up you will see that love is the most beautiful weapon in the world, it destroys all insecurities and everything you can imagine⎯I tell him⎯I took care of your father, who took care of me when you were inside⎯me I get up and get close to him⎯ He's beautiful, like his father.

You are so beautiful Harry that the angels are jealous of your greatest purity, you slept even smiling and breathed it for me, of everything it was the greatest.

⎯Come⎯Weary Robert sneaks by my bedside and joins me⎯No need to stay awake, he'll stay here with us.

I saw my father cry like a lost child of the mother, he was hurt and much more I was more if I came to the world I came with a mission to help. He would be fine to take care of me and he would be fine for you, entirely for you Harry.

27 hours after giving birth.

By strumming the sweet melody of the guitar, the little dances around the room, the fun extended and made for you. It made my best 7 hours of my life, being able to feel several sensations and feelings I always wanted. I gave you your first milk and you took it touching my heart, I was your mother Harry for 27 hours and it was the best.

With the little happiness I have left, I ask you today Harry:

-When will I see you again?

And with the same smile you left, and the same pure and sweet look you answer me:

-I will always be in your heart and I will be your private crowd in that big heart of yours.

With your eyes pure and bright you give me one last breath and say goodbye to me and your daddy. I love you so much Harry, even little.

⎯Date of death, June 26 at 8:00⎯Marcos announces with revolt⎯Little Harry.

With the tears I shed now of sadness, they were once of joy, the feeling won't pass but it will only grow. I love you so much son, wait for mom to arrive soon.

I love you, my little and eternal crowd. See you later son, thank you for putting up with so much and I want to say that no love is greater than I have for you.

With immense sadness I give you away and let myself die in your father's arms.

⎯Goodbye son⎯I speak

Harry mommy loves you....

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 21

It was not unexpected that nothing would happen to little Harry, a baby under 6 months old to come into the world and survive is an almost miracle. These are the risks of something happening and someone needed to leave to show that love doesn't always save, I'm sure that in this world Harry would be the happiest child in the world. Having an actor and storyteller father and his mother the creator of his stories, imagine him with that smile and small body telling his classmates how he felt to have the two most precious dads in the world.

Then he came into the world on June 25th almost a month before his mother turned 33, weighing less than 2 kilos and measuring about 28.4 cm. He had everything to live and to be strong.

His skin was so fragile and almost transparent with his veins and nerves apparent, he had Robert's face, his mother's gaze one of the last 7 times he'd seen her. Harry Thomas Arantes Pattinson is the most beautiful little angel that ever set foot on this earth but today he meets his creator, but his parents know that regardless of everything. He, Harry, looks at them the same day he left. Smiling and next to their dear daddies.

⎯Robert⎯Marcos calls him out with his son

P.o.v Robert Pattinson

When I saw him born I realized and saw two things, that my partner was the strongest woman in the whole world and that my son was the miracle. Until Marcos directs a sad and lifeless look at me.

Seeing Y/n unconscious in my arms made me even more nervous, until Marcos leaves with my son in his arms and the nurse helps Y/n with the procedures.

⎯Do you know what he can do?⎯I ask helping her

⎯Procedure inducing life for him⎯she responds by applying sedatives to Y/n

⎯You were too strong⎯I tell her kissing her forehead⎯I'll be right back.

I go to the huge room we prepared for something to happen, with cleaning, hospital supplies, everything so that Harry doesn't get any bacteria or fungus out. His lungs were still too weak for him to be able to breathe just using it. And a ward for mother and son to be together

⎯Put on the clothes⎯Marcos says inside the room until I put on the clothes

⎯How is he? I need to see him⎯I reply entering

⎯Harry Thomas Arantes Pattinson, June 25th at 4:57 am⎯he answers dry⎯Weighing 1,659 kg with 28.4 centimeters.

⎯Hey big boy⎯I approach the incubator induced there I see him so small and fragile, the true face of an angel⎯You know who's talking,your daddy⎯I whisper looking at him breathing low with his body splendor

⎯He doesn't last long⎯the voice says to me⎯Enjoy him, he won't make it.

9 hours after delivery.

Telling my parents about Marcos' chart was the worst thing for me, and I still knew that it wasn't just them that I would have to tell, but my partner. You're an actor Rob, think.

⎯He looks so much like you⎯Y/n says proud of herself with the little one on her lap

⎯Y/n.... ⎯calling her with just her name is something very important

⎯Please, I beg you....⎯she cries making my heart ache⎯Leave me with him, he is a healthy and strong baby.

⎯Y/n.....⎯down on your side of the bed⎯Marcos said it's normal to happen.

⎯Fuck Rob, normal?⎯she says terrified⎯He's a baby.

⎯ I know my love ⎯ Wipe your tears leaving your face red ⎯ He's our baby and always will be, but it's the facts...

⎯I don't want to lose our son Robert, I don't want to⎯she cried beside me.

I've done so much for you, you need to stay here with both of us. You need to be strong Harry, you can't have any weaknesses and you can do it. I believe in your potential boy, your father believes in you and no matter what, I will always believe in you.

14 hours after giving birth.

Harry looking at you and your mother depending on each one kills me, her mother is the most affectionate and precious person for me, she saved me and I need to save her. I also need to save you, I would trade everything to be in her place and to see you safe and well.

⎯How are you?⎯ your grandfather's voice echoed to me

⎯Er....⎯my heart tugs and I start to collapse on the floor crying⎯I didn't protect her!

⎯Rob⎯he says in the same tone as his daughter hugging me⎯Don't do that.

⎯If I had helped her none of this shit would be happening!⎯I say angrily to myself

⎯ LOOK AT ME BOY!⎯ he yells⎯ None of this is any of you three's fault, please don't do this to you boy. Harry is our miracle now.

⎯ I'm sorry.....

20 hours after giving birth.

⎯He's so handsome⎯Y/n says looking at him from the outside and smiling⎯He pulled his father.

⎯Harry, you are your mother's masterpiece⎯I reply looking into her eyes red from crying and hugging her

⎯I'll never forgive myself if something happens to him Rob, he's just a baby and he hasn't even lived right⎯she whimpers in the

my ear with all your pain

⎯ He will live, I promise.

That's the only promise I'll keep forever, I'll have you as my soon. Let's be happy together me, you and your mother.

⎯Son⎯the soft voice called me⎯Rest;you have been sitting in front of this room for a day, you need to rest.

⎯If I rest something might happen, it's not the first time I'm going to do this⎯I reply looking at him through the glass

⎯He wanted you to rest⎯she says

⎯But I don't want to rest in this shit because my son is there, in that damn breathing machine⎯I reply thickly

⎯Ok⎯she leaves and I see my partner call me after Marcos enters

⎯Robert, enjoy.

⎯ no my son, please don't my son⎯ Y/n was crying in pain with her son in her arms⎯ god damn my son!

⎯Sorry⎯Marcos says and I take my guitar

And it was like this in the strum of the guitar, composing the song to the angels that you told me it was in thought:

-Never again, Harry?

With the simplest and purest look, you answer me:

-No daddy, it's forever.

I knew your time would come but not now, but it was the most important hours of my life. Seeing your mother giving a small smile after so much struggle and pain, hearing your grandparents by the side of the glass be happy after so much worry and weakness. Dance with you on my lap, feel your little heart beat in my chest, look at your little features and look at your pure gaze. You are my life until you're gone someday.

27 hours after giving birth.

With my last song, you look at us with your greatest strength and give us a small smile until a small tear forms. See you later Harry, see you my little piece of heaven.

⎯Date of death, June 26 at 8:00, little Harry⎯Marcos announces

⎯My little angel⎯Y/n says feeling all the pain and suffering for losing our son

With the look you came into the world with Harry, it was the look you left. Don't forget about me, daddy will never forget you. Even more my little cro

wd.

See you my little Harry....

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 20

⎯MOTHER!⎯Robert yells from the bedroom door bringing everyone to the bedroom⎯Calm down, everything will be fine.

⎯It's early Rob, he's only 6 months old today⎯I speak nervously⎯I don't want to lose our son please.

I know 6 months he was still almost graduated but it was the most confusing and amazing 6 months of my life. It was the 6 months that I respected myself and took care of myself completely, they helped me to become the strongest woman possible and I know that this was all because I am having my son.

It wasn't just sex but my love developed into a child, I no longer knew what you were Harry but I already loved you.

You are my reason now, you are the reason for my heaven Harry and I will try everything to have you in my arms.

I remember when I wrote you a letter.

Flashback on

⎯Now I wanted to say to you dads of the year⎯Zoe said announcing everyone

We were in a small meeting, like a revelation tea only different maybe, because we already knew it was a boy.

⎯This letter is a letter made by many mothers, like me⎯Clare says

Dear mom and dad, today I turn 4 and a half months old my grandma said it's almost 5. Yes, I can already hear you. I love Dad's voice when he talks to me about the movies, I'm glad to be the son of such a fun father. My mom is the most beautiful mom in the world, and for you mom I want to say: Mom, in a few months I'll be in your little arms, I'll be your private crowd. The lady will fill me with kisses, affection and will look at me with her perfect gaze.

I hear his sweet voice talking to me, I'm learning to give little kicks but for you to know I'm here.

You may be crying now, but this cry is for joy.

I'm dying to see my daddies, and say that we love them even from here.

Daddy show every day that you love mommy and mommy I love you so much.

Love, your little Harry.

⎯So Y/n and Robert, know that inside is the fruit of their love⎯Clare speaks emotionally

Flashback off

Now the moment is of pain and suffering, we prefer a natural and home birth because I wanted to bring our child to the world with the strength that all women have.

No contraction is as strong as my desire to have you in my arms, no pain is the anguish I feel for having you so fragile and premature.

⎯ The water broke, see ⎯ Marcos says warning ⎯ The baby's heart is good and everything will be fine.

⎯I don't want to lose him⎯I say trying to have the strength not to think the worst

⎯We will bring this child alive, everything will be fine, I promise⎯he says helping me up

Every pain I feel in my life doesn't compare to this one, you were coming into the world and always giving me new sensations. You would be a fresh start for everyone and even Rob, we would have our first child and our first life together.

My head was heavy with weakness, my heart was beating fast, my moans that were once of pleasure are now of pain. I was bringing my son to life, a life that I had generated.

⎯I love you⎯Rob says at the moment⎯Let's make it right.

Rob, we made it work for 27 years. 27 years of living together with passionate lovers.

⎯You're going to sit in front of him and we're going to start dilating that lap⎯Marcos says adjusting me in the bathtub between Rob's legs⎯Only the father can stay here, I ask everyone to leave.

Everyone gave us strength and hope, the three of us need faith now. Nothing else is important now just Harry.

⎯I'll do the touch on you⎯Marcos starts the procedure inducing labor

⎯Look at me⎯Rob asks and I look at him⎯You are so enough, so important to me. You are my life now, I love you so much. If I could be in your place I would bring him to you.

⎯That's good, your cervix is ​​dilating⎯Marcos says optimistically⎯Just a few more contractions and he'll dilate completely and he'll be with his son in his arms.

Pain pulsed through me, my whole body was aching, I could go to hell and back in a matter of seconds. It was early and too much for him to come but it was time to find his way.

⎯You're doing so well, you're strong⎯Rob spends time saying how much I can do this in my ear

⎯Let's snuggle this baby in place⎯Marcos warns and I scream with the contraction coming⎯That scream, come on girl!

⎯ IT HURTS A LOT!⎯ I scream feeling all the pain and screaming even more

You're on your way son, my little private crowd.....

⎯Fully dilating⎯he looks at me⎯And now, let's go Y/n you can do it!

⎯Come on baby, come on⎯Rob says

What remains for me is to push so hard until I hear your cry. Pushing until I see you got here, feeling you slip into my body, and feeling every total pain for you to come makes me feel totally strong.

⎯His head⎯Marcos announces and I keep pushing screaming

⎯You can do it⎯my companion's whisper makes me feel my strength come until my eyes rest

⎯Little Harry⎯Marcos says and I hear Rob's chest get drunk from crying⎯You did it!

I heard your little cry for the first time, I glanced at you dizzily. Her fragile and almost transparent skin, her veins showing, her small bones and her look so mine.

This was as far as fear goes after his crying ends, Marcos looks at us and with the help of the nurse takes you away. You arrived Harry, don't go away, do you promise?

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT // Chapter 19

⎯Oh my dear, it's okay⎯Clare says smoothing her hands on my back⎯It's okay.

⎯ Y/n, nothing will happen. It's going to be all right we know⎯my mom says sitting me down and I trying not to cry

⎯I'm tired don't they realize I'm pregnant and I'm human?!

6 months pregnant and here we are, I can say that now I feel like crap, I look like a shaggy ball and my beauty is gone but not for that. When you become a girlfriend of someone famous, the charges come, Robert and I are in a phase of trying to enjoy this whole pregnancy and after the news that this pregnancy is risky, all that has changed.

His "fans" haven't accepted that he has a concrete relationship with someone, he's still his exes but they don't realize the pressure I have. I stopped writing to focus entirely on Harry, our baby isn't even born and is already being slaughtered in nets.

My name is being used for a lot of horrible things, I'm being cursed with filthy and terrible things and that's for everything, for just loving and having a family. I wanted to teach and learn a lot from the world but I'm not perfect.

Robert and I are in an anxiety crisis together, he helps me with some chores but if I think about it I'll see him go away and soon.

⎯Half of these people don't know the harm it does to you, sowing hate is not cool⎯Clare says beside me⎯You are so precious to him, and so is this baby. If he loses one of you two, I don't know what he can do.

⎯If your son hadn't had anything to do with her none of this would have happened⎯my mom tells Clare⎯We're not from this world Clare, you guys carry the big Hollywood name and we carry a simple family name.

⎯Mother please⎯I beg her trying to stay calm

⎯Please Y/n?⎯she gets up⎯Do you ever hear what these fans say about you? That you're a bitch, slut, opportunist and worse!

⎯But I'm not!⎯I answer calmly

⎯They say that and everyone believes it, I didn't raise you like this Y/n and I honestly don't think you deserve it⎯she says⎯Change your life for a man, move house and country, try your dreams and fail!

⎯Don't talk to her like that!⎯Clare gets up

⎯I tell the truth!⎯she screams at me⎯Can't you see he's not yours?,he'll always be someone else's and never your husband,do you think that's how life is?⎯I look at her⎯Life It's not just finding a rich man and having sex with him.

⎯Please let's stop this⎯I stand up supported

⎯Like it was with my father?, all those memories and promises of love you made to him were in vain!?⎯I approach her⎯Was it his money?, I'm sorry mom but I don't think about money because I already I have mine!

⎯You're not from this world Y/n.

⎯Tell me what I did to you to make you hate me so much!?⎯the weak eye⎯WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO FOR YOU TO TREAT ME LIKE THAT FOR NOTHING!?I AM NOT WHAT I WANTED!?

⎯Y/n calm down⎯Clare asks pushing me away

⎯ SPEAK! ⎯ I scream in my bitter voice ⎯ HOW BAD I DID TO YOU!

⎯YOU WERE BORN!⎯ she replies coldly

⎯You are a bad mother⎯my face burns with the slap until I look into her eyes now scared

⎯ENOUGH!⎯Clare says⎯Get out of here Mistress Arantes!

⎯Y/n I'm sorry...⎯ she whispers

⎯Get out of here Mistress Arantes!⎯Clare she exclaims and I turn away hearing the door close⎯Darling....

⎯Clare....⎯Frightened whisper⎯Leave me alone...

She knew that even if she sat down she wouldn't answer her, even after all I felt even weaker. I'm not the "person" who knows about feelings but knows she's felt them someday, who also killed her once, that day "My girl" was gone.

Having an unwanted pregnancy is like that, after they grow up they will feel both mistakes. Society needs to learn not to play with the feelings of others and even more of those we love the most.

A campaign on how not to get involved with those butterflies in your stomach, tremendous illusions and out of reality.

My feeling goes away every time I think of him as a good thing, sometimes it's my fault but who asked to be born?.

Do humans really think we wanted to leave our protections and warm placentas to come into the world?, ask the homeless person how their Christmas was or an orphan how their parents died. There are thousands of reasons to try and billions to give up.

But what the fuck "her life is beautiful", yes she is beautiful, when I make her and now I want to give it up.

Enough of being and enduring silence listening to the world scream and you in silence, life is not beautiful but illusory because everything in it is fleeting and EVERYONE, I say, EVERYONE knows.

I breathe trying to keep control of the hot breath and no air coming out of me, crises are part of me all my life and they are the ones that are with me now. Where is the happiness that this "God" promised us?, was it a lie or "God has his favorites" is it right?.

The rain continues outside and my heart keeps beating even after my thought command says "stop".

⎯Harry, you will walk in such a horrible world⎯cry⎯You will have to be so strong.

My head starts to feel heavy and my lap starts to burn, I get up and take one of the thousands of developmental meds for Harry. If his father were here but he's too busy with his work.

⎯When you are born, I promise to protect you until the end of the world⎯I continue⎯Or your father can help me, I miss your father.

Not that anything happened to Robert or that I'm someone in love but I need him with me, I quit my job and he can't. People forget the least that they are HUMAN, Robert is a machine for society and a puppet for some. He can never have his family or anyone else.

⎯Love...are you awake?⎯I feel the scent and heat of your body next to mine

⎯ It took

⎯Didn't see it get closer to you⎯he says and I turn to him⎯Your mother didn't want to tell you that,okay

⎯ I'm not enough, it happens⎯ I snuggle next to you

⎯You are more than enough⎯ he whispers in my ear giving me a little hope

⎯We miss you⎯I take a deep breath placing his hand on my belly⎯He likes to hear his voice.

⎯Hey Harry, daddy loves you son⎯he says caressing⎯You are my lives now⎯he says kissing my forehead

⎯You wear it⎯I mean the infinity ring I gave him when I was pregnant⎯I thought I would take it off.

⎯It's a gift from the most important person to me⎯he smiles

⎯And who would it be?⎯I mock

⎯Oh, it's a secret but she's my favorite person⎯he looks at me⎯Do you think Harry would mind if I kissed his mother?

⎯I think he would tell you to go ahead⎯two smiles and a passionate kiss

Sensation of our lips together, our bodies together and the two of us together.

Until I felt something burning in my lap, letting out a loud groan.

⎯What is it?⎯ he looks at me worried

⎯ I think my water broke ⎯ I say looking at my part in the wet bed

⎯ Calm down...

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 18

⎯You really seem to like him⎯Marcela says disassembling her suitcase

⎯Er, time really works miracles⎯I reply awkwardly⎯Robert is a very special person to me, and now we're going to be three.

⎯Romantic and shy like her father⎯she says looking at me⎯You know I like you very much as if you were my daughter, if you want to say anything, don't hesitate to tell me.

⎯I wish it were like that with my mother⎯I sigh and Marcela hugs me⎯I think she doesn't like being my mother.

⎯ Oh my dear, your mother likes you so much but she is camouflaged, in her heart there's only one little person called Y/n Arantes.

⎯Good⎯out of the hug⎯I need to buy some things for the baby and prepare one where extra exams.

⎯ Why so much concern? ⎯ she looks at me worried

⎯For about 3 days I've been having mild cramping and sometimes I've seen a reddish discharge⎯I explain⎯Marcos and my gynecologist said it's normal and nothing to worry about.

⎯Son of Fatima, take care of him. His mother was expelled from the village a while ago for stalking⎯ she insists until we hear knocks at the door

⎯Sorry, can I come in?⎯Rob says behind the door, there's a big difference between him and Marcos⎯Let's have lunch with your father, hello Marcela.

⎯Love, I had forgotten I was entertained with gossip from Brazil⎯kiss her lips quickly⎯Marcela see you later, enjoy the house and condo. Robert is exaggerated for buying this house.

⎯Our home, of the two of us and our beautiful baby⎯crouch in the form of length kisses the softness of my belly

⎯Go if you don't want to be late⎯Marcela says

The way to the Brazilian food restaurant, as a huge craving hit, was fun. We listen to a lot of music, such as MPB, sofrencia and even funk that Rob has been interested in lately. We were lucky the paparazzi were busy with the president walking through the streets of Los Angeles, kind of random.

Robert warned me that he would have a quick job in the UK, he would have to go to one of the meetings for his new project, The Batman, which continues to break records.

I am very proud of my partner.

⎯Should I be angry with your father again?

⎯We saw him last year, he hasn't changed a thing⎯I reply by entering the place⎯Dad!

⎯Daughter⎯he gives me a tight hug, something he had promised me for years⎯Robert⎯he greets him sitting in front of us

⎯Please, no formalities. You've known Rob for a long time⎯I exclaim in "good"

⎯But before he didn't get my daughter pregnant⎯he looks at Rob⎯Let's go to some necessary questions.

⎯ Father!

⎯I can handle it, love⎯ he puts his hand on my thigh

⎯What are the intentions with my daughter?⎯he says the obvious

⎯Only the best and certainly the naughtiest⎯ he says

⎯How are you going to deal with the pressure on my daughter after delivery,you are a highly sought after artist,would you leave my daughter alone postpartum?,And in this modern world,can you handle being a father?⎯even I wait for the Rob's answer

⎯ I want to make your daughter the happiest woman in the world, even if I have to stop everything. I love her every day I look into her eyes, I've organized my entire 6 years⎯he replies⎯I'll be with her in childbirth, postpartum and for all the years.

⎯Thank you my love⎯I reply placing my hand over yours

⎯Boyfriends?⎯ he asks

⎯For now, I'll be able to call you Mrs. Pattinson soon⎯ escapes a smile from my father

⎯Well, if so⎯my father sighs⎯May my grandson come with good health and may you two be very happy.

⎯Sorry⎯wipe the fallen tears

⎯ That makes my princess very happy and if something happens to her, well I'll be arrested for killing Robert Pattinson⎯ he's serious

⎯I need to go to the bathroom and dad behave!.

I feel something moving inside me, is this my baby's first stunt. A burning pain starts in my lap, I take a deep breath trying not to delirious with the pain.

I enter one of the stalls and sit on the toilet, lowering my skirt, I look at my underwear with the reddish discharge almost like blood.

My body starts to shake with my emotional instincts, I take a deep breath shifting my calm state.

I go back to the table seeing food already laid out.

⎯You took a while, is everything ok?⎯Rob asked me

⎯Boosts were busy⎯I answer anything trying to get away from the subject until I hear a scream

⎯ROBERT PATTINSON!?⎯thank that person for yelling⎯Can you take a picture with me?!I'm SUPER your fan!

⎯Oh sure⎯he takes a picture with the girl and turns to me

⎯I've seen you since Twilight, your romance with Kristen, with FKA, and now with Suki. Wow, Robert you're a catcher!⎯ she says

⎯I'm not with Suki, I'm with my partner Y/n⎯she looks at me and gives him a hug and leaves

⎯Is this our routine now?⎯my father asks in our language

⎯It's his routine⎯I reply confirming⎯Relationship with Suki, it seems that even though you say it and I'm pregnant.You'll always be your ex⎯I phallus and he stays quiet embarrassed

And so was our lunch, lots of fans harassing us or something. Some being polite and taking pictures with me and even with my dad, now being in a park taking a little walk to show my dad the real USA.

Rob holds my hand in public, he likes to have fun in public minus the part that is invaded by photographers. And yet another fan with a child comes to us.

⎯I'm going to buy an ice cream⎯my dad says leaving us alone

⎯Good afternoon Robert and Y/n, could you take a picture with my son because he is a big fan of Harry Potter⎯she explains and I lower myself to the child dressed in the Hufflepuff cloak

⎯Who is this little guy fighting?⎯I see his name written on his shirt⎯Well Harry, I knew that this big man here is my boyfriend.

⎯I thought Cedric was killed⎯he says innocently as I laugh⎯Is there a watermelon in his belly?

⎯Well I think Cedric had a proposal and went back to earth, now he's going to have a family⎯I reply and the child smiles and Rob picks him up

⎯Let's take a picture little Harry Hufflepuff⎯he laughs and turns to his mother

⎯Thanks a lot Robert and Y/n⎯he thanks us with a kiss on our cheeks saying goodbye and leaving

⎯He knew how to choose the right house⎯Rob says

⎯Almost that⎯I reply and hug him

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 17

⎯baby, my big baby, my little baby. Wake up, hey wake up, let's get up⎯ I hear the voice followed by my language⎯ She doesn't wake up does she?

⎯ It's pregnancy, she's more tired. Don't you know?⎯ my mother's voice makes me open my eyes and see her and my father in front of me

⎯Mother and father!⎯I get up hugging them

Well my relationship with my parents is quite casual, they are my parents and I am their daughter and that's it. After their separation a lot has changed as our relationship is different. At that time I was spending the holidays at Uncle Richard and Aunt Clare's house, it was a shock for me to know that the perfect family I saw in the movies was not the same as me.

That's because I was a child and explaining to a child that his mother had sex with his father's best friend was illegal?, but over time everything changed to average as they talked to me at least 3 times a week or a month sometimes .

I didn't complain because for me having my parents around was like having something else, my father has another family and children and my mother has a boyfriend. They didn't interfere in my life but I still feel without their presence, something I envied a lot in Rob, his parents with him. They didn't stop loving me or something like that was just a kind of estrangement.

Damn, they fucked and had me, but what should I be worried about? Robert may be the same, a motherfucker, but I can also be the motherfucker.

After that hug, I get up to see them better.

⎯ You took a plane and came, damn it, let me know before so you guys stayed at my house.

⎯We agreed with Robert to be a surprise, who knew you dating him and now pregnant⎯my mother suppose

⎯Yes, I waited 32 years and had a great sex education so I didn't get pregnant as a teenager⎯I answer and hug my dad⎯I missed you a lot, dad.

⎯ Me too my love ⎯ he smiles and leaves a kiss on my forehead ⎯ Marcela is here, she and Benjamin are very excited to meet you. But Yara can't come, she's studying.

⎯Yara studies medicine, could you too⎯she replies

⎯I think Yara has the support of her father and mother and not the psychological and personal pressure to be perfect⎯I reply and look at my belly in the mirror

⎯It's big, good enough for me to kiss you⎯my dad says tickling me like a child⎯Oh how this baby has another baby inside him⎯he continues

⎯Enough is enough!⎯I exclaim and get up from the bed.

My father remarried to Marcela, a woman 10 years younger, and he has twins Benjamin and Yara with her. Benjamin is trying to be a medical artist w Yara. Marcela had few contacts, only at the giant celebration of 20 years of marriage or also at the twins' reveal tea 24 years ago.

She's a good, non-interesting woman, she works on her influencer career and some people know I'm her stepdaughter. My father, on the other hand, owns a large real estate company in Brazil, and my mother is a model/retired but still with her eminent works. The Arantes family carries a legacy of bright futures but now the only child is an erotic writer, addicted to sex and good fetishes.

⎯These are Marcela and Benjamin,Daughter.

He introduces me to a woman and a man, she a tall, busty, blonde and young woman. And the guy is a copy of my father, dark, tall and with strong brown eyes.

⎯It's so good to see you again, honey⎯Marcela greets me giving me a handshake⎯And now you have a beautiful baby,your father kept telling me how much he wanted to be with you.

⎯He could come here more often but I'm going to Brazil in a month⎯I explain

⎯Hi Y/n, you're beautiful as always⎯Benjamin compliments me looking me from head to toe

⎯Thanks⎯I just smile and look back at my parents

⎯Where are you staying?

⎯Richard and Clare let us stay at their house here in Los Angeles, so you can stay here alone with Robert⎯my mom responds⎯Speaking of the prince, look at him!

Robert enters the house with a smile on his face and flowers and comes to me.

⎯Miss Arantes,Miss Barros and for you my love⎯he hands the flowers to each woman and kisses me⎯How are you dear?⎯I pull him to our room

⎯You brought my parents!⎯I say smiling excitedly.

⎯Hi my baby⎯kiss my belly

⎯ He's fine, but why?

⎯I've been planning this for months, if you don't go to Brazil, Brazil will come to you⎯ he answers sitting on the bed

⎯You're so⎯I settle on your lap looking for the word⎯Robert Pattinson you look.

⎯There will always be a surprise with me, I love you⎯ he says and kisses my cheek

⎯I love you too⎯I reply.

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 16

⎯Sometimes I think that you only exist in my head, that all this is irregular!⎯I say walking through the park in Los Angeles

⎯Just thinking that if our mothers didn't meet we'd never be here together, well, I don't know if I'd leave London to go to Brazil⎯ he replies laughing

⎯I love your way of laughing at everything, and I wouldn't leave Brazil to find you without knowing who you were either. Perhaps it was our fate that this happened⎯ we sat under a tree in the shade.

I was getting too tired in the routine, three months of pregnancy had passed and we ended up confirming that it was a boy. My family is in love with the news or little part of it, Rob finally and officially cast his vote straight and told the media that he had found out I was pregnant. It's a strange but cool thing, an experience for a lifetime, a fetus inside me that's for sure strange.

It's also refreshing to have our family, even if only now we're something. We decided that we are now boyfriends as teenagers, it's weird to go through but it's amazing to feel those butterflies in your stomach, having his affection is special. The baby really seems to like it and so do I, after the words and the report I told him I got a little better, I kept thinking and I still am.

A person makes mistakes throughout life. Robert is increasingly happy with his movie fame and now father fame, all the headlines and magazines tagged him as: "dad of the year".

My parents came to Los Angeles to see how I was doing, and they get along well and don't fight so much. I don't want it around the baby, whether Rob and I have anything or not it will affect the baby.

Now we go for walks in the park and in the streets, Clare is already excited about the clothes, Victoria wants to get a tattoo in honor of her nephew and he's still inside me. Lizzy is excited about everything she plans on how to help with the birth.

I don't like all this attention, but my baby needs it, I'm 32 years old, this pregnancy can go wrong and how can I do it?.

⎯Baby, today your mother is more beautiful than usual⎯Robert says with his head on my belly⎯I wanted to send you a text with a picture of her,your mother is so beautiful.

⎯Marcos she said that he may still be graduating and is not listening to you.

⎯Likewise son you are Batman's son do you know what that means?⎯he expects an answer⎯That's it!

⎯Are you using some kind of substance?⎯He looks at me and I smile⎯You are the son of actor Robert Pattinson.

⎯And from Y/n Arantes, the most beautiful and hot woman in the world, son⎯he talks kissing her belly without anything since she was showing⎯Harry, a beautiful baby

⎯What about names?⎯I glance at him⎯No names yet and Harry is very outdated⎯I justify

⎯My name is Douglas, Prince Harry Philippe Arantes Pattinson. He loved it!

⎯Or we can call him Edward, it's a nice name and it still has my great-grandfather.⎯ I caress his hair

⎯Nananinano, let's choose in a while. Edward no!⎯ he exclaims too loudly drawing the attention of paparazzi

⎯Ready Edward!⎯I tell him while the cameras are on⎯It's weird being in front of the cameras and not behind, well I've seen a lot behind the scenes with you.

⎯I remember you calling me "dead ced" in Harry Potter's dressing rooms, not to mention the twilight one!⎯he says and I laugh this time

⎯First: I laugh at your frown and that extra careful topknot, you jumping out of a tree, you were too crazy!

⎯His books that are, a menage between 5 people written in full detail. I as a man got extremely excited by your writing⎯ he speaks and I kiss your forehead

⎯ You are a very sexual inspiration, but certainly writing that left me with a lot of dark circles. To this day I lose sleep⎯yawn

⎯ We can go if you want, your parents are there waiting for us and waiting for this beautiful baby.

⎯ Let's meet some friends?, I don't know, we are boyfriends and boyfriends have their friends. I can call Kristen, Nikki, Ashley and you boys, what do you think?

⎯Why don't we just call the most connected, well, Noah and Anna on your side and mine⎯ he suggests

⎯ Do you still have feelings for Kristen? or Suki? ⎯ I take a deep breath waiting for the answer

⎯FRIEND⎯Someone says in Portuguese⎯YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

⎯Anna!?⎯I see the brunette coming towards me and Rob helps me up and I run to her⎯Fuck, what are you doing here!?

⎯I came to see you, well, Brazil is boring with this pandemic⎯she explains⎯Well Alex is with Maria in the park over there, I came to see you by surprise.

⎯Motherfucker you are, you'd better talk to me so I would have found something for you⎯she looks at me sideways and Rob hugs me from behind⎯Oh Anna you already know him.

⎯Ah, I know her very well⎯laugh⎯My daughter wasn't even 2 years old and you put a doll on my friend, you're really cool!

⎯Look how silly you are Anna⎯rio⎯The belly is still showing, call Alex and Maria to stay at my house I beg you.

⎯ We can't, we still have to see Alex's parents and you who get along well with your in-laws, the prejudiced people⎯ she says⎯ But now I have to go, but I'll fix it at your house I promise⎯ hug me

⎯I really hope, and Alex's parents don't waste time, let them get used to seeing a couple of different races⎯I reply

⎯Thanks friend, now bye baby from Auntie and Rob⎯ she says goodbye and goes

⎯ Let's get some rest, right?

⎯Let's go to the beach please!⎯I ask him to put his strong arms over me.

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 15

I try my best to keep my composure in front of Marcos but I fail fast. Marcos and I were in my room on a special appointment, not in a sexual sense, in the sense of him seeing me and taking care of my son.

⎯You could have warned me before I came here, we agreed on WhatsApp about it⎯he looks at me

⎯ I don't have your courage Y/n, having a child with that guy and even more in the best friend situation⎯ he doesn't care

⎯What are you saying, that Rob is a terrible father to my son?⎯he sighs⎯Robert is the person I love the most in this life and I don't admit that I talk about him like that!

⎯ As a man I warn you, he was with someone even when he had sex with you and I'm sure he said the same thing he says to you.

⎯ Marcos please, you are my son's doctor and I ask that it be just that. The past doesn't matter what matters is the present⎯I answer firmly

⎯The present is that he is with you but the past he was with  the girl he said was the love of his life⎯he says and looks at me⎯Starts to think Y/n, we Brazilians are good at knowing the lie but don't let it fool you like that.

⎯ He doesn't fool me, I know him too well to know the truth.

⎯ Your relationships didn't work out very well, there on the island we all know that you were abused in your relationship with Pedro, then you had Anna, and even more then many others.

⎯ You're saying that because you've had a crush on me since you were a child and you don't admit it!

⎯ You are so insecure with yourself that you end up forgetting what men like, brave and intelligent women, do you think Rob saw what in Kristen?. The body?⎯he laugh

⎯This is no longer a comment Marcos now this is an offense⎯I open the bedroom door revealing Robert behind her⎯Oh, hi my love.

⎯I was passing by and I was waiting behind the door⎯he explains⎯But they were speaking in Portuguese, is there something I can't know?

⎯Good Y/n, see you next week⎯Marcos says leaving

⎯How are you?you're pale⎯Rob says and looks down

⎯Just a little dizzy, you know sex and medicine are affecting me⎯ I explain sitting down

⎯We can skip the walk if it's bad, we'll stay here you and I⎯he says bending down between my legs⎯You can tell me everything, you know you can trust me.

⎯What did you see in me?my body?or my sex fetish?⎯I ask aloud

⎯Your ass obviously⎯ makes me laugh with your answer⎯Your unique way of being.

⎯ Seriously Robert, I'm weird.

⎯ I'm serious, you are the most amazing and capable human being I know. Everything you say is unique and inspiring, you are the reason I didn't give up in the beginning.

⎯I'm dirty⎯I start to cry

⎯Don't say that Y/n!⎯he says and hugs me⎯What's this idea!?

⎯I was abused.

Talking about it hurts more and more, I remember flashes and try my best to make my heart and mind accept the true fact. I've always had a sex education since I was little and ending up discovering too many facts for my age, I knew I would need to do something someday but I didn't want it to be that way.

What I remember happened when I was around 7 or 8 years old, my mother worked a lot and my father traveled or that's what he always told me, I spent most of my time at my religious uncles' house. They had three daughters, Ingrid, Anne and Tamires both my father's nieces.

They lived in a small house and I stayed there until 23:00 when my mother arrived, I loved having "siblings" maybe, on some days in the middle of the night Tamires would touch me and say that if I said something he would hit me.

I was just a child and I didn't know what it was about, until one day she said she wanted to take a shower with me and made me touch her private parts. I swore she would stop but she didn't, until one day she called a boy who made movements in my body that I didn't like.

But what Marcos remembered was when he was 14, there was a boy who was the same age and I ended up falling in love with him. I hoped he wouldn't try something but when I went to sleep at his place he insisted on trying something and I didn't want to. It was disgusting the feeling of him doing that to me and I didn't want to. Today 16 years later I can still think and sometimes see myself as human garbage, I never saw him again and because of him I ended up becoming a person who all sex consoles his soul.

It hurts so much but they never realized that it hurt me?, a CHILD, I just wanted a little strength to tell and today with my 32 years we don't have the strength....

⎯I am trash.

⎯No, of course not⎯Rob tells me and I take my eyes off him⎯Y/n this is rape of vulnerable and attempted, they are the culprits and not you.

⎯ The culprits don't feel guilt, but the victims, maybe I was provoking and I was wrong to do.

⎯ARE YOU CRAZY?!⎯for the first time Rob tells me⎯They are to blame!,that's not what you taught me,you need to be heard!

⎯Rob could have been dreams!

⎯Dreams?⎯he gets up⎯I...wait...please⎯he cries

⎯Please Robert.

⎯I didn't protect you, I was busy in the movie and forgot about you how could I leave you and happen⎯he says nervously⎯That's not how I help you, I love you and I'll help you!

⎯Rob, that was years ago!

⎯I'll take care of you ok⎯he hugs me

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 14

Warning: Contains sex act written in third person, you have been warned!

Chapter based on media music.

After a few days in a hospital bed, the return home is all good and especially for my bed. We went to Rob's temporary house, who insists on being alone in these first months, waking up with this man on his stomach and with his mouth half open is a real doom.

And normally with the hormones of pregnancy everything is even more harmonious.

I take a shower and see that Rob was no longer there, I go to the kitchen to watch cooking.

⎯ You cooking for me, do I owe you something? ⎯ I hear him laugh and he turns to me

⎯You have to feed that baby in there⎯Put a plate of breakfast⎯Your exams are low and you need to eat⎯Kiss my lips and I pull him for the kiss to last even longer

⎯I was thinking about how to tell my parents that the pregnancy is just for the two of them the rest of the family no, they are not family⎯I start to eat

⎯We could go to Rio take a break or go to Angra, you like it there⎯I bite my lip

⎯After the celebrations of your movie we could go, the baby should be born in September I think we still have a good time⎯⎯I reply⎯I read on a website and consulted Marcos and he said that sex is very good for the baby.

⎯Yes and to the parents too⎯he smiles and I get up⎯Are you that addicted?

⎯Shut up Roberto!⎯I kiss him and he pulls me to the sofa

*smut* narrated.

Y/n wasn't wasting any time, he started ripping off Robert's pants instantly, his shorts already forgotten on the floor.

⎯Let's take it easy for the baby please⎯Rob says to the girl who signals that he would be careful.

Y/n felt Robert's tongue slide into her mouth, and she felt it heading for his throat as she

she sucked, twisting her tongue with his that they both no longer needed anything else.

When they broke apart for air Y/n decided to do something Rob fetish, so she took off Rob's baggy pants, and

she tore off her shirt while Robert took care of her bra and panties.

⎯Y/n, I swear! Do I really make you that wet?⎯ he laughs and Y/n gets annoyed at the way he said it and looks at him

⎯Yes, Pattinson you do. But I have

what do you mean... do i really make you hard like this?⎯ Y/n retorts looking at his exposed member

⎯Oh, you'll pay for this, princess!⎯ Rob says laying her down on the couch.

⎯I doubt it⎯Y/n licked his teeth, making Robert even more excited.

Eyes full of lust, cock hardening even more, Robert rolled Y/n to the bed, trapped, beneath him in the

sofa.

Robert held both her hands together, with one of the Y's while the other traced her lips with the movements.

Rob loved to be the dominant there and he was in charge.

Y/n whimpered as he started to move his hand down. Your neck, your breasts, your belly, your

waist then...

⎯Ahhhh…Rob!⎯Y/n moaned as her fingers traced her pussy.

Sliding over her lips, and rubbing her clit. Y/n tried to move but couldn't because he was

trapped under Robert, he was dominant now. So instead, she moaned aloud, expressing how good it felt to have his fingers where no one else had been keeping themselves so well.

(Just her when she had her fantasies in the heat of the night when Robert was on his travels)

Then, once the pleasure was good enough for her clit, Robert moved into her heat. He

he lifted his fingers, which were busy with her pussy, to Y/n's lips.

⎯Suck them for a second, they're getting into your pussy⎯he says and she obeys.

Y/n did as he was told, and after a second of wetting Rob's fingers with his saliva, he felt his way back into the heat, and pushed his fingers inside.

⎯Rob....⎯ Y/n moaned, shaking, moving her hips as his fingers dug deeper.

⎯You're enjoying this honey,you like it when I make you mine⎯he affirms increasing his masturbation

⎯Fucking hell, let me give you that pleasure please⎯she whimpered and Robert raised his eyebrows, mischievously.

⎯Of course, baby. But daddy starts sucking your pussy

first⎯Rob demanded placing his hand on her neck.

Y/n nodded as she bit her lip. Rob's smile got bigger and he started kissing her neck,

moving down, just as she'd done with her hand, drawing loud sighs and moans from her mate.

He now held her arms at her sides, holding her tighter.

Once Y/n felt his tongue slide against her lips, she gasped. One lick, and it already felt like

best thing she's ever felt.

⎯No preliminaries Rob, and I want you inside me...and fast⎯ Y/n says feeling his hot breath on her pussy.

And with that, Rob started to suck

her clit, aggressively. As if he couldn't get enough. Y/n contracted her hips in pleasure. Pleasing her more, Rob slides her tongue down to her pussy flooded wet by him.

⎯Rob....this is so good⎯ Y/n whimpered

⎯It will get even better⎯ He replied, and slipped his tongue inside.

Y/n squirmed, flexing her hips, trying to escape, knowing she couldn't. Not wanting

much. It was so good...

She felt a little disappointed when his mouth moved away from her pussy, but the feeling was gone.

instantly, as he turned Y/n on top.

⎯Now it's my turn⎯Wanting to have fun, she grabbed her

balls and played with them in his hands, making Robert's head roll back.

Gently, she began to kiss different parts of his member, bringing it up to his head.

⎯Fuck Y/n⎯ Robert exhaled in pleasure.

Amused Y/n decided to shock him, and she threw her lips at his cock, pushing the whole thing down her mouth and throat, making her gasp.

Y/n could tell she'd reached her goal, because Rob let out the hottest, loudest moan his neighbors could ever hear.

⎯That's right honey!⎯Voice hitching as the pleasure increased.

Y/n did that, bobbing her head up and down faster and faster, twisting her tongue around the cock. Fucking her own throat.

Suddenly, Rob gasped, and Y/n felt him drop into her mouth. She jerked her head back quickly until Rob was ecstatic looking at her if she could spit out his cum.

⎯Swallow your fucking daddy⎯Rob she said, and Y/n did⎯Good girl⎯ And Rob pulled Y/n onto her lap holding her tightly.

Y/n positions his cock at her entrance, slowly drawing moans from both of them while holding his gaze to the two of them. Rob helps with her hips going fast and Y/n being thrust hard and fast, squirming in her wet lap he kisses her tasting her sweet and salty taste. The thrusts get faster, Y/n sitting on her lap hard and fast, Rob thrusting into her with energy and vigor. Slapping his buttocks and squeezing was Rob's forte and Y/n left his partner marked.

The two dripping with sweat looking at each other and smiling throw themselves on the couch.

*smut finished*

⎯That....was....amazing⎯I answer breathlessly

⎯You're amazing baby⎯Robert says and they open the living room door behind the sofa⎯Oh my god!

⎯Sorry the door was open and I walked in⎯ Marcos' voice echoing in the room

⎯Marcos we are naked and can it wait?

⎯I'll wait outside⎯he slams the door and Rob looks at me

⎯It's interesting⎯I see your face⎯He's outside waiting for both of us.

⎯Let him wait just a little longer⎯he kisses me starting once more

⎯It was a good breakfast.

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 13

"Love" the word with several different meanings but with a definition "love", because when you are young it appears so fast and we cling to it so easily but it leaves at the same speed it arrived. Once in my life I felt this love and it was for a girl, today she is no longer with me because I let her go and the worst thing is that the more we are in love the more we will have the simple loneliness.

We were formed from a "passionate" act of a couple who wanted it or not, we were forced to be carried and have our life. And what a wonderful life this is before knowing love, for small moments we fall in love, the cry we cry at birth is that of defeat and not victory. It's or isn't here it doesn't change anything, we've always been things that imagine the illusion of this love and it goes away. And loneliness, it accompanies us at all times; loneliness for many is bad but for others it is real peace, when we are alone in our spirit it is literally lonely but their illusion of being well is different.

Who never wanted to know love and regret it, to love is to live right?. Ask half of the suicides and base of the suicides they all started with that word, love, we worship her so much that we forget to feel.

Ask a 70 year old couple what they regret the most, they say it's youth but deep down their hearts have been broken.

"Confused people hurt amazing people", it wasn't the people but that feeling. Hate doesn't kill anyone but love hurts children's hearts without the affection of parents, adults are hurt with words and actions but teenagers, they came to the world to be tests to endure or not.

We were all happy one day, smiling and crying, now turn to a person who thinks about her death and ask if she's okay. Your answer is the same, yes, and never no because we are cowards not to present the feeling. Silly and futile feeling that is this love but deep down we all wanted love, loving is so good and it was so good to love you. I never wanted to be a person now I don't even like to write, my passion is in dance I love her so much and for her I would fight.

That's why if I loved a person it was called dance, she helped me so much and saying in the past is so bad because I want her in the present.

I find myself crying in the bedroom with my thoughts until Rob arrives.

⎯You need it so much⎯he sits next to me and I take his hand

⎯ I want to be happy again Rob, without having you with me for little nights but for being mine ⎯ I lean on your shoulder ⎯ Enough of having sex but a relationship.

⎯ My love, we always need to talk about feelings.

⎯But it feels like you only exist in my head Rob,you say the words I say and I just live⎯I answer⎯It made me so bad you came and helped me, nobody knows the Robert Pattinson I know and that's who I'm with I want to have something⎯ words sobbed from my mouth

⎯And it's this Y/n that I want to take care of, my girl who laughs and talks out loud, who knows how to make a wonderful cake and who writes down feelings⎯he looks me in the eyes⎯And it's with this woman that I want to build mine family and mine...⎯I cover your mouth

⎯ Don't use that word; it makes me cry ⎯ I wipe my face and hug him ⎯ If I ever stop giving up you'll be here for me, and you'll be the best father and you'll also remember the Robert he is⎯ he smiles

⎯You'll remember the same Y/n I fell in love with, and the same Y/n I'm still in love with because she's always my Evangeline ⎯I look at him in the reference of my movie

⎯I'm sure I've met my Ray⎯I reply continuing in his embrace.

It was in our simple hugs that we had our connection because it was like this, I was your Tiana and you my Naveen, you my Ray and I was your eternal Evangeline. And wanting you close to me is what I intend and continue to intend to be, the people who were wrong with me were the ones who told me we were forever but they were the same ones who left. Loving is not accepting the easy but accepting the difficult; loving is so futile and snobby because loving is not the absolute feeling but the calmed feeling only.

⎯I want to dance again⎯I whisper to him who looks at me⎯Writing is sad for me but dancing is the word.

⎯Our son is the second happiest man in the world to have you as a mother, I am the first to have you as mine....⎯wait for a guess

⎯No script just feeling everything⎯I reply leaving a kiss on his lips

⎯So let's just feel, like two crazy teenagers⎯agree⎯Just Feel It?

⎯Yes,Just Feel It a good name for a book maybe⎯rise from your grimace

Laughing, I like to laugh makes me happy just laugh, smile and live. Happiness synonymous with sadness but in other lyrics, a person needs happiness and sadness.

My life is a sadness now Rob is my happiness, just like listening to music and dancing. Hear the sound of the piano keys and feel the melody as one, loving cold is so cold but loving corny is better, whatever the longing will hit the same way it hit when love arrived.

I look at the relevance of my belly in the mirror looking at the man smiling, and I smile too because I'm living that moment with him.

⎯He's big, right, our son is inside⎯ I shrug my shoulders

⎯It will grow a little more⎯he says and I push him pinning it to the wall⎯What is this?

⎯People have the right sex, but I'm just seeing that you won't go away⎯Put your hands on my hips

⎯You are perfect.

⎯You're a fool, smiling loose⎯This hospital is quite exotic but I'm still going back to the office, our son will have a permanent doctor and pediatrician.

⎯Does it have to be Marcos?⎯franzi the cent

⎯Jealousy little Rob?

⎯ My darling, I have you⎯ pulls me to him⎯ You are my darling, there's no use running away you always come back to my bed, and you like it.

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 12

Warning: This chapter contains aggression.

I just feel the slap on my face burn. She looks at me with an even more convinced look but I don't let myself be shaken, my hand feels heavy and I squeeze it.

⎯You're a fucking bitch fucking my boyfriend!⎯she screams at me⎯Carrying a fucking fetus!⎯I slap him back harder!

⎯Bitch don't talk about my son!

⎯Son of a bitch,⎯ she says and my blood boils against her.

In these movie shooting escorts, we can learn the basics not to kill. She came with her hair down and devoid of nails, she doesn't know what it's like to fight.

When I come across I'm already on top of her slapping her face to get blood. She pulls me down making me hit my back against a coffee table, making me shiver from the blow. She takes advantage of my situation too much and kicks my stomach making me moan and try to breathe.

I try to get up but she picks me up by the head and hits the floor making me dizzy.

⎯Bastard, this is for you to learn not to mess with him again!

⎯Fuck you!⎯I give her a head, taking her out of focus.

I pull her hair taking her to the floor until she lies down and I climb on top of her. And I punch her in the face until her nose breaks and leaves marks. I grab her face and squeeze her bleeding cheek.

⎯ Next time you say something about my son ⎯ I sink my nails into his cheek ⎯ The character you lack will be the character I will teach him, until the day he grows up and sees the pure you are !⎯ I release her face and she moans in pain

⎯What the fuck happened!? ⎯Noah she walks into the room and takes me off her⎯Did you kill that girl!?

⎯She talked about my son!⎯I reply and start to cry⎯WHAT DO YOU HAVE GIRL!?,HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!,HE FUCKING LOVES ME,HE'S MINE!

⎯ENOUGH Y/N!⎯Noah she pulls me and I push him⎯You're going to sit there and calm the fuck down!

⎯Now you understand, it was never for Robert, but because YOU are humiliating yourself to him!⎯I say and pull her laying down on the couch

⎯ Next time let me die ⎯ she says moaning and I lean on Noah

⎯Noah, I'm not well⎯I say sitting on the floor and a pool of blood starts to form⎯Noah!

⎯Fuck!⎯he lifts me up and I start to shake⎯Calm down ok.

⎯Noah I'm bleeding!⎯ words before I hear no more.

One of my biggest fears and losing someone I love and someone who is part of me hurts me even more. One of the causes of deception is the mind, it distorts and delivers lies and truths, a life means sharing and understanding people.

Two and a half months ago, I discovered that it would generate a shared life between me and Rob. He was so happy and I was more euphoric and downcast, we weren't prepared for this arrival but taking you away from me was even worse.

With my remaining energies I ask any sovereignty and spiritual power to take my life but not my son.

My eyes open with external difficulties realizing the room I was in. My hands are down and my head is spinning.

⎯My love⎯Rob gets up coming to me⎯You woke up.

⎯Rob....

⎯Your face, what the hell were you thinking about fighting with Suki!?⎯he kisses my hand⎯I almost lost you.

⎯Rob....our son, how is our son?⎯my eyes water up⎯He's fine.

⎯Our baby, our baby is fine my love⎯he cries and I start to cry

⎯I was so afraid of losing him, I can't lose him Rob we can't!⎯I keep sobbing and run my hand across my belly

⎯Why did you do that? Fight like an animal?⎯ he says

⎯This is no life for me⎯I reply⎯But tell me you love me,please tell us you love us Robert⎯I pull his gaze to mine

⎯Y/n....I love you so much⎯he says to me and kisses him

⎯That, I love you too Rob⎯I kiss you even more

⎯Y/n, I'm glad you're well⎯Marcos' voice enters the room⎯It was another scare, did you get into a fight?

⎯My wife was assaulted by another, it won't happen again.

⎯Even more like someone like Rob, he's always for fame and trying to do everything for everyone and forgetting about his "wife"⎯Marcos responds⎯If it wasn't for Noah, her son would be dead and you wouldn't be here.

⎯You're saying that I don't know how to take care of my wife, who are you saying that?⎯Rob says approaching Marcos

⎯You're the fucking guy who abandoned her, you're a real motherfucker!⎯Rob tries to get over him

⎯ THAT'S FUCKIN' ENOUGH, THIS IS A HOSPITAL!⎯ I call their attention

And I almost lost you.....

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 11

The silence stayed but listening to the birds singing, I take my hand and mark my belly in the dress and look at him static. Making the same expression he had used when Edward found out about Bella's pregnancy, I look at him and he looks at me.

⎯If you're not happy with the baby, it doesn't matter but stop looking at me like that!⎯I wipe my face⎯Say something Robert!.

⎯Let's have a baby....⎯he whispers and I get up to leave but he pulls me and rolls me around⎯LET'S HAVE A SON OR A DAUGHTER!⎯he yells, spinning me around.

⎯Don't roll me around please!⎯I say laughing and he drops me on the floor and kisses my belly and kisses me.

This was our once-in-a-lifetime moment, I loved the touch he gave me.

Now we are three lives but we can say that this could be the end of us.

⎯Thank you so much for giving me this honor to have a child with you⎯wipe my tears⎯I love you and the baby.

⎯I can tell you it's a boy⎯I say and he rolls me around again⎯Robert don't roll me again please!

⎯So that was it at the restaurant today, I saw you with that man and Noah, who was that guy?

⎯Marcos Vieira,our doctor and the baby's⎯I reply⎯I saw you with Suki at the restaurant,why were you there?,she looks like she doesn't like Brazilian food.

⎯I was looking for you, Noah posted with the location of you two and I went to get you for Suki to meet⎯he replies and I walk away a little

⎯ I want you to tell her, it's not that I have a son with you that you won't go out with anyone, my son is here inside me.

⎯Our son Y/n⎯he talks

⎯Yes Rob, you are the father of my son who has a girlfriend and I will not end it⎯I say and he takes my hand

⎯Me and Suki are just needs and kisses and nothing else⎯I take my hand from his

⎯Our baby, our story starts here between you, me and the baby. promise?

⎯I promise⎯ he kisses my forehead and we go inside.

The rest of the day was Rob telling me how we were going to take care of a baby, our house and care. His family also helped, they wanted to tell him what it would be like to change diapers and sleepless nights.

He didn't leave me alone for a minute, he didn't want to leave me even in the bathroom. He talked to the baby, about when he would have his first boyfriend, even to his college that says he is from cinema to act with his father.

The child is barely formed and is already being pampered with everything.

⎯ Can you play the guitar for me?⎯ I ask already lying down

⎯All for you two⎯ he starts playing and I start trying to nap.

Having a relationship with someone is a real work, but having feelings for someone who doesn't hurts much more. Pregnant with my best friend and the only person who makes me look forward to a future together, having Robert as a close person and father of my child is the thing I've dreamed of for most of my life.

It could be the lust in my eyes blinding me to have him, I can't forget that we have someone else in this cycle my son, my parents didn't worry about my sanity before they split.

My parents are the example that loving young is a total mistake.

⎯And if something happens to him?⎯I say feeling his chest disappear and go down

⎯ We are healthy and so is he⎯ he answers me and I snuggle close to him

⎯Things happen⎯I sigh and run to the bathroom throwing everything out

⎯I read that the first few months are more difficult, especially with vomiting and dizziness⎯he rubs my back and I sit next to him

⎯You could carry this baby right?⎯I snuggle into your shoulder⎯You're hot.

⎯Both inside and out⎯ he says and I take a deep breath laughing

⎯I hope the kid doesn't pull your broken mood Rob⎯I say and get up back into bed

⎯Y/n, someday you will have someone in your life who will make me forget about me⎯ he whispers to me

⎯Just like you have Suki, no one lives just for sex, isn't it⎯I reply and turn to him⎯Let's just enjoy this moment, let's have our child and even if you don't want to have something with me, it's okay.

⎯For you I would move to heaven if I had to⎯he says and sigh⎯I love you Y/n a lot.

⎯Robert I want you not to say that you love me more, without that "I love you" please. We're adults and we have to be serious, so no I love you or anything⎯I tell him⎯My sanity needs some of that.

⎯I think humans and adults talking about feelings with each other⎯kisses my shoulder

⎯No feelings here, I need some time alone⎯he looks at me⎯Let's go to your movie premiere one more time.

⎯We are complicated⎯he takes my hand⎯Loving you is so complicated.

⎯ Just feel it ⎯ the tightest hug ⎯ Feel my love, our love turn into another life.

I am a person who imagines the impossible happening rather than the obvious, sometimes this illusion of mine destroys me in small pieces. A good part of my feelings are monotonous, I'm not the person to feel and leave, I like to stay and feel completely.

It's corny I know, but I don't want to love warm or cold, I want to speak up, fight for my space and be corny. I spent so much time away from real life and now I have a life inside me, I am submissive to love and dominant to lust.

Loving was never difficult but believing in this love that the hardest.

⎯So you two broke up?⎯Noah talks in the sun with me⎯Now you can go hang out with Marcos!

⎯ If you scream more he hears you know, and no we two don't break up because we're just best friends.

⎯Baby, I don't have a child with my best friend, you know well⎯I look at him

⎯Ok Noahzito, we're just maternity partners, I said I don't want him to say he loves me⎯I reply and he laughs

⎯Ah, what a pity my friend⎯talk and show me your cellphone⎯Robert just did an interview saying:"a long time ago I discovered that I loved a beautiful woman who was always by my side, and today she is being the mother of our son and Y/n Arantes I love you so much".⎯ he laughs again

⎯Oh, what a shame, what now?⎯I get up and see this man's parents⎯Richard and Clare your son, just gave an interview with my name and our baby!

⎯Yes, I encouraged him⎯Clare replies⎯Now I can call you daughter-in-law, whenever I want!

⎯You are crazy like your son!⎯I throw myself on the couch⎯What will my family think?

⎯That you're only with him for money and that you're managing to hit him with the trunk, and not to mention that he'll find out that you've had sex with him since you were 18, and not to mention that you getting pregnant now will get 9 months of his attention ⎯Noah kisses my belly⎯Welcome to Hollywood baby.

⎯I'm going after him!

⎯Look at the stress with my grandson, let's go to L.A and calm down there, we stay in California do you like it?⎯Clare sits next to me

⎯I like it, I promise to rip your son's balls with my hand when he shows up here!⎯I reply and someone opens the door

⎯Where's Robert!?⎯Suki opens the door and I get up⎯So it's you, the girl who's having sex with my boyfriend!?

⎯Let's go to the restaurant, my love⎯Richard hangs out with Clare

⎯Noah, please leave.

⎯Y/n I won't leave you with this girl⎯ he replies

⎯Anything I yell at you⎯I say and he leaves⎯Repeats what you just said.

⎯You're the slut who's having sex with my boyfriend!⎯she approaches me

⎯ Fucking is for the weak, I'm fucking him and I can tell he's really hot⎯ she slaps my face

[maiapattinson]

JUST FEEL IT//Chapter 10

⎯ I'm not afraid of losing him but this baby Noah, let's be honest I'm a woman who writes literal bitching to people, will this give a future?

⎯So you want money?, did you know that your son's father is a badass millionaire?⎯Noah crosses the street with me going to the office

⎯ I turned off my cell phone last night and I don't want to hear his name hi something related to him ⎯ we entered the office

⎯Sometimes I forget that you're Brazilian and too proud to say you love him or something, now he's already dating⎯he says and glares at him

⎯You're American and boring and I'm still your friend, and I like him a lot but I won't make the guy break up because I'm pregnant with him right⎯I reply and he hugs me and kisses my belly

⎯Uncle already loves you chaos project⎯I pat him on the shoulder

⎯Don't call my son or daughter chaos boy!Harry Styles project!

⎯ Respect me woman, um, shack project ⎯ I hit him again ⎯ I hope the child pulls the father's calm personality why the mother fuck.

I wait in the waiting room, watching the children and mothers, today would just be a routine ultrasound to see if the baby is as well as it should. The doctor puts a cool, refreshing gel on my belly and puts on the device.

⎯Nervous?⎯the doctor asks me and I take a deep breath⎯Finally I got a Brazilian client to talk to, the British are more into theirs.

⎯I hate to speak English with a British accent, they use the English accent a lot⎯I reply and look at the pictures

⎯I know you Y/n, I'm Fátima's son  your mother lived near us before you came back here⎯he tells me

I look directly at him, a man apparently 36 years old, dark and tall with brown eyes a real doom. His name was Marcos Vieiras, his Mexican and Brazilian family, that's why he's so handsome.

He told me about the family and asked about my life, I answered as needed but he had known about Robert for a long time. Obviously my name was plastered on magazine covers for ages.

⎯ Mrs Fátima, do I remember her or am I still trying⎯ I say and sit down

⎯ Good Y/n, your baby is healthy and well but I want you to save efforts for your immunity and presence of age. Next week we may find out your baby's gender but 80% chance it's a boy.

⎯A boy⎯I smile and I walk out of the room until he pulls my arm

⎯ Y/n, do you want to go to dinner with me at my place someday so we can be friends with each other⎯ he suggests

⎯Of course, how about after the appointment?, before I travel I need some time⎯I suggest and he gives me a card

⎯My number and call me later, good afternoon Y/n⎯he says goodbye and I go to Noah

⎯Who was that man, look I like Robert and such but this guy is very hot⎯puts his hand on my shoulder

⎯Let's eat, I'm starving!⎯We went out to look for a nearby restaurant

Let's go to Sabores - Brazilian Restaurant  a cozy restaurant with good food, we sat at a table by the window.

⎯I'm going to order a Chicken Stroganoff it must be delicious⎯I close the menu

⎯Noah is stroganoff it's just chicken, tomato sauce and sour cream and seasonings. And you already ate at my mother's house you ugly ⎯ I reply and he looks at me strange

⎯Don't look back it's like Rob and his girlfriend are looking for photographers there⎯he tells me and I turn and she looks at me⎯She looked at me.

⎯ Let's go!

⎯Marcos over there oh why the fuck did I leave the house today!?Noah⎯I ask nervously

⎯ You said you wanted to eat

⎯Y/n nice to see you here⎯Marcos appears by my side

⎯Sit here man!⎯Noah pulls Marcos to sit⎯Now talk to Y/n as if you were his girlfriend, go go go soon!

They enter the restaurant but what the fuck are they doing here, Noah starts talking to Marcos and I curl up on the bench trying to hide.

The paparazzi are outside and Robert and Suki enter the restaurant and sit at three empty tables next to mine.

⎯Y/n want some help?⎯Marcos asks and holds my belly⎯You're in a cold sweat!

⎯I want to get out of here, I need to get out of here⎯I look at my hands that start to shake and my breath fails

⎯Y/n Calm down please baby first no stress⎯Marcos helps me up but picks me up and I start to cry

⎯I don't want to lose my son⎯I repeat to myself

⎯Y/n!Hey!⎯I hear Rob's voice call me and I turn my head around⎯Who are you and why are you with her?⎯he tells Marcos

⎯Who I am doesn't matter who you are!?⎯Marcos answers and I feel my legs get wet

⎯Mr. Pattinson sorry for this event⎯ the owner of the restaurant tells Rob and Marcos manages to leave with me

⎯Marcos I think I got wet, I can walk⎯he puts me down and Noah runs to us

⎯Thanks Prince Charming! Now I need to take this woman home⎯Noah pulls me and I thank Marcos.

After this situation, my name was once again on the Internet associated with Suki and Robert. Over 35 missed calls and 100 text messages, I arrive at the Pattinsons' house and take a shower to rest.

⎯Y/n⎯Lizzy enters my room and I turn to her⎯How are my friend and my nephew?

⎯ We had a scare today, I arrived today and you weren't there and prefer to stay at home and lie down for a while.

⎯My brother called me asking if you were ok and I said I was

⎯He doesn't have to worry about me, but his son⎯ I shrug

⎯And I also mentioned the baby.....⎯Lizzy talks and I sit down⎯He's coming here Y/n

⎯Lizzy you weren't supposed to tell him!⎯I get up running⎯Now I'm nervous!

⎯ I just said that you arrived and went to bed because your baby needed rest!

⎯I go to the garden to breathe a little⎯I leave the room and I go to the garden trying to feel better⎯Look what you are already doing to me child!

⎯So it's true...⎯I hear him behind me

⎯If you sit down I'll explain⎯I answer on the voice wire and he sits

⎯ I want to hear it from his mouth.

⎯Congratulations Robert, I'm pregnant⎯I start to cry.