#and cried and listened to txt

[slytherinshua]

when you want a happy song to cheer you up but you stan txt 🧍‍♀️

[sharknark]

⬇️rant about a really good hengren (reverse renheng) fic i read. link at the bottom give it a whirl

i've never read a fic so well-catered to my tastes before in my life and the best part is that i was so caught off guard by how good it was cuz the tags and summary had me like "right this is some omegaverse-esque, rawr XD mating shit"

but from the very first paragraph i realized it wasn't just ao3-typical possessive mating shit it was (dare i say) IN CHARACTER possessive mating shit. underappreciated dan feng lore is the two hearts shit, duty expects him to smother his own empathy and perform cruelty obediently (and that being in his dragon form literally numbs his empathy towards mortals) but then it's flipped around and he's criticized for being too heartless

there aren't a great many english fics that take advantage of the 'numbed empathy' thing, so this fic using that to explore the toxic codependency that drove dan feng to making yingxing immortal in the first place is so!

dan feng's dragon heart prioritizing it's own indulgence and power, his human heart screaming against it for empathy and restraint, but both hearts united in this possessive adoration of yingxing... dan feng is possessive to the point of harming his partner, forcing them to take his affection, inherently contradictive to the protective impulse to see the other unhurt.

dan feng makes yingxing immortal in a really sketchy operation, despite knowing that yingxing is literally defined by his pride in being a short-life. he wants yingxing to be with him so badly that he does the one thing that would hurt yingxing the most, too blinded by possession, this sickly overbearing affection, to empathetically respect yingxing's death.

yingxing lived cramming every second he could into his craft and his goals precisely because he has so much less time than all the immortal species around him, but when he's forced into immortality, his hands are scarred and ruined past the point of ever crafting again. he suddenly has so much time, all this time he would've cherished as a mortal, but is totally useless to him now that his purpose for living and passion is gone.

so there being a scene in this fic where dan feng is moping "yingxing doesn't wanna fuck because he's glued to his workshop", being followed up with a scene of dan heng fucking blade while kissing his scarred hand and crying that he's "so sorry", yeah no shit asshole, his dragon heart got what it wanted, blade has all the time in the world to fuck and nothing competing for his now limitless attention and no one's happy about it.

as arrogant about being a short-life as yingxing was, it really is compensation for the discrimination he faced for it. other immortals looked down on him, so having dan feng, THE top dog, be so deeply enamored with him stirred his own toxic codependent urges. he was so desperate to have dan feng's eternal regard that he's willing to die for him (as in the sedition), his death being the force cementing his place in dan feng's heart forever.

so the fic having yingxing ruminate on this, that he had hoped for dan feng to love him even centuries after he inevitably died, only for the fic to end with:

yeah yingxing... you left an impression... he made you immortal.... everyone's upset by this

(that's what makes dan heng forgetting blade was ever yingxing to begin with all the more painful because, you went and turned him immortal and when it backfired horrifically you went on and fucking forgot, bitch i'd be pissed to the point of centuries long bloody pursuit of vengeance too.)

here's the fic go read it and leave kudos and a comment, technically porn but i got so invested in the character study that part barely registered. also yeah if you hadn't realized already super dead-dove:

blah blah "renheng is toxic" sorry that's why i like it

[npdlangley]

i ruined my own friendships i acted out i had my own privacy invaded and in turn got called weird, had to learn how my own classmates disliked me and found me weird from a young age, got made fun of for being bisexual by this one kid, this one girl had it out for me, i was a weird kid but got i was so desperate i wanted something and then on the internet i felt as thought i was so special and mature being told and exposed to things i shouldn't have while everyone just watched and said nothing. no one did anything no one even considered to ask why a middle schooler, an 11 year old was engaging and acting in such manner.

[thelonelyfog]

One of the worst parts about all of this is the things I still can't remember.

I can't remember Sasha. I mean, I know what her voice sounds like now, but I still can't remember her. I've seen the fandom's interpretation of her and it feels right? I think? But how do I know? How do I know that any feelings of "accuracy" are her, and not some last remnants of the Not Them? How do I know if what I'm remembering is right, or if it's still whatever that thing put into my head?

I want to say I don't mind not Knowing. I never really took issue with it; not the way Jon did (which makes sense, I suppose). But something about it feels... bad? I don't know if it's a need to know so much as a guilt. Do I need to know her, or do I just feel guilty that I don't? I think it's the former, but there's no way to know. Not really.

Some of this sounds like something Jon might've said, I think. I miss him. I miss all of them.

[sunmisbf]

song of the day

[hythlodaes]

i did not get nearly enough sleep to be emotionally strong enough for today but ! my coffee is SO good and i get to spend the day with my beloved coworkers <3 merry christmas eve!!

[cronagorgonzola]

How tough am i? HOW TOUGH AM I?

I'll have you know i listened to We Are Franchouchou by the zombie idol group Franchouchou from the hit anime Zombie Land Saga and i only nearly cried 3 times

[gorillaxyz]

sorry for posting a song that trended on tiktok but its literally meeeeeeeee

[guangchuans]

i’m going to take an ibuprofen, listen to end of a day, and go to sleep. goodnight my loves 🫂

[inkzix]

guys i think he looks reaally sad today

[catboyrightsdefender]

november kicking my ass

[poprockspillage]

sometimes i think too hard about metal gear characters and i feel sick(this happens frequently)

[ehnrat]

i was also lookin up the full versions on the KHR songs and i saw that ponycanon uploaded one of my fav endings 3 weeks ago and HRMMMMMM

[linusbenjamin]

she looks so amazing i can’t-

[fangparade]

i was tagged by the legend @peppermintbutch to do this, thank u!! 🫶

last song: ASGORE by toby fox

currently watching: successsion! i also started watching severence. bangers, both of 'em

currently reading: lord of the rings (the two towers)

current obsession: lord of the rings :") lol

uhhh i tag @ffincher @twoguysonebeartrap @ancientrimer @mannettaaaa to do this if u want! slay away 🫡💕

[ihophashbrowns]

u ever cry to a song thats not even sad