#and christine.... my christine... at some point i gotta talk about her name being christine and her voice being stolen and used

[potatoesandsunshine]

ugh dead money is so good

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Snake Eyes chapter 1: Home is Where the Heart Is (originally posted on August 28, 2023)

AN: This is it, everyone. The end finally begins here. We are about to embark on the final installment of Steven Universe: Alternate Future, a grand finale three years in the making. But before we begin, a little history lesson. I intended to follow up Alternate Future with just one sequel, but because I just can't stop at just one story, it soon sprang up into the little shared universe you see before you. Afterwards, I got the idea of the Snake People after watching Planet Hulk on Netflix, which some of you may remember from an answer to an ask I got on my Tumblr, in addition to Thor Ragnarok and Ratchet Deadlocked. So, I slowly began planting the seeds for this epic conclusion throughout most of the previous stories, mainly in The Black Pearl Brigade, which I used as an outlet to expand on this version of Steven's universe and introduce new characters that would play a role in Snake Eyes. Now that we've set the stage, let us begin at last.

Synopsis: Steven returns home to Beach City, but the Gems have gone missing. When Black Rutile explains where the Gems have been taken, Steven goes on a rescue mission.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Grace Rolek as Connie

Zach Steel as Ronaldo

Dee Bradley Baker as Lion

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Doc, Navy, Leggy, Army

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Avi Roque as Cinnabar

Awkwafina as Kyanite

Allison Janney as Pyrite

Kimberly Brooks as Dalmatian Jasper

Zehra Fazal as Zoisite

Lena Hall as Bloodstone

Jodie Whittaker as Xenotime

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid, Eyeball Demantoid

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald, Chest Emerald

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Jennifer Paz as Phoenix Lapis

Gina Torres as Andesine

Barbara Dunkelman as Amber

Kristen Schaal as Howlite

Olivia Olson as Citrine Twins

Neil Flynn as The Officer/Aescul

Chris Jai Alex as Sneople Soldier Leader

Henry Rollins as Captain Boa

--

"Another day, another minute spent in this hellhole." Black Rutile groaned to herself as she scratched another tally mark on the wall of her Revanche 666 prison cell before lying on her back. "A great man once said that a wise strategist gathers all his information before deciding on a course of action. Well, guess he wasn't talking about me when he said that."

Three weeks ago, by Black Rutile's estimate at least, she was taken to prison on Revanche 666 after the Crystal Gems finally had enough of her scheming to take over the universe and destroy them once and for all. She had everything all planned out too, she manipulated several Crystal Gems to her side, got the support of humans who shared her worldview, and expanded her army with previous allies and innocent Gems she brainwashed into joining her. But once again, thanks to a certain human whose last name she can never get right, Black Rutile's plans had been foiled and she was forced to face the consequences for it. Now all that she had left were the mindless conversations of her subordinates to keep her company.

"Come on, they have one female servicing a large group of males," Kyanite said while in a heated debate over the reproduction of a certain species. "That implies a species that lays eggs."

"Oh my Diamonds, you're crazy!" an irritated Bloodstone yelled. "They are so obviously mammals!"

"Please, she'd be in estrus 24/7 if she didn't lay eggs!" Kyanite objected to Bloodstone's point.

"But they don't lay eggs!" Bloodstone replied. "I don't have to keep telling you this!"

"You're both wrong." Howlite butted into the two's conversation. "They are beings who reproduce asexually, therefore they have no reproductive organs to procreate with."

"Dang Howlite, why you always gotta get so smart on us?" Kyanite asked Howlite.

"Can you nitwits shut up with your insane babbling?!" Aquamarine shrieked from her cell. "I am trying to plot our revenge here!"

"Hey, why are you the one making plans?" Cat's Eye asked Aquamarine while waking up from a cat nap. "Shouldn't Black Rutile be the one arranging everything and gathering forces like she always does?"

"Unfortunately, it seems Black Rutile is no longer fit to lead us," Aquamarine stated, cringing as she insulted the Rutile Rebels' grand leader. "Just look at her, she's become like a pathetic wet cat who's been left out in the rain for way too long."

"You know I can hear you, and I do not like what you're saying." Black Rutile snarled at her tiny second in command.

"But it's true!" Eyeball agreed with Aquamarine. "You've lost your touch, my Rutile! It was because you couldn't accept defeat that we're stuck here today, stripped of our rights and locked up like animals!"

"Yeah, I just wanted my family back!" Tanzanite yelled.

"You need to accept that we lost!" Holly Blue added.

"Yelling feels really cathartic right now!" Amber cheered, only wanting to join in as the other Rutile Rebels snapped at their leader with accusations, making Black Rutile's already low self-esteem worsen before they heard a knock.

"Hey, keep it down, all of you!" a Bismuth guard shouted. "Lights out everyone, see you all in 0800 hours!" However, lights out soon arrived earlier than expected as the imprisoned Gems heard a loud explosion from the entrance of the prison, followed by alarms blaring as a group of snakelike soldiers dressed in black and white armor marched into the prison with blasters at the ready.

"Wow, look at all these Gems!" the leader laughed in surprise. "It's like they had them all wrapped up for us as presents! Okay boys, move out. This should be easy pickings."

"No, not them!" Black Rutile cried in alarm as she instantly recognized these intruders' reptilian bodies. "It can't be!"

"Attention prisoners of Revanche 666, prepare to be enslaved in the name of the Jormagundr royal family of Serpentes!" the leader declared, striking a dramatic pose. "Everybody out of your cells, no need to make a ruckus." At the leader's command, the other snake soldiers released the Rutile Rebels from their cells and forced them into one large group.

"I gotta get out of here!" Black Rutile yelled before she stabbed a snake-man as soon as he freed her from her cell with her bowie knife and made a run for it.

"Hey, that black Gem is escaping! After her!" another soldier yelled as he helped his comrade to his feet and began firing at Black Rutile.

"If you want my soldiers, you're going to have to catch me first!" Black Rutile yelled as she turned her knife into a sword and began cutting down any snake people in her way while trying to find a way to escape.

"Where are you going?" Cinnabar asked Black Rutile. "You can't just leave us behind like this!"

"On the contrary, if you don't need me anymore, then I guess I don't need you anymore either." Black Rutile corrected Cinnabar. "In other words, adios turdnuggets!" After throwing out a few obscene hand gestures with a maniacal laugh, Black Rutile charged to the nearest escape shuttle and began taking off.

"So she's really ditching us, huh?" Emerald mourned as the Rutile Rebels watched their so-called commander escape like a coward. "I should've known it was going to happen soon enough."

"What are you going to do to us?" Pyrope asked while the snake-men busted out sets of handcuffs to put on their Gem prisoners.

"Our lord Cobralan Joramgundr has had his eyes on you for a while, and thanks to some informants, all of you are now ours for the taking." The snakes' leader stated while applying the cuffs to the Ruby squad. "Hope you like fighting for your lives."

"Finally, some action!" Dalmatian Jasper cried excitedly while the snakes tried to work around her lack of a left hand to put the cuffs on her. "Better than rotting in prison for the rest of eternity."

"Oh my sweet Jasper, you have no idea what you and your friends are getting into." The leader snake said forebodingly while applying the last of the handcuffs on Andesine. "Okay, that should be all of the prisoners! Any update on the personnel?"

"Presently restrained, sir." Another snake soldier replied as the Peridots, Bismuths, and Black Pearls were led away from their posts in a chain gang. "Preparing coordinates back to Serpentes. Our leader will be most pleased with our findings."

"Well, this could've turned out a lot worse," Amazonite muttered disdainfully while Phoenix Lapis tried to open her mouth. "And don't even ask how it could get even worse."

Meanwhile, Black Rutile was reclining back in her captain's chair as the shuttle she hijacked flew far away from Revanche 666. She had long dreaded the day that the Snake People would come for the Gems, but she didn't expect that to be today of all days. "It was only a matter of time before our ancient enemies came looking for us." She sighed in relief. "Now all I need is somewhere to hide until this all blows over." As it just so happens, she flew away so fast in her escape, that Black Rutile could see Earth in the far distance, just a little blue ball from her perspective. "Okay, not what I had planned, but maybe I can work with this."

With that, Black Rutile veered the ship towards Earth and began flying to the planet she despised so much, hoping that it would be the Hail Mary she was looking for.

--

To think it was only a year ago when Steven left Beach City to find himself. A year since he had a meltdown to end all meltdowns, nearly destroyed Beach City, was used by Black Rutile to try and destroy Earth, and finally got the recovery he was so desperate for. Now, after a year of touring the country, he decided it was time to visit his old friends, and it was a very special time too. Steven was going to turn 18 today, and he was eager to see all of his friends and family back home again. But as he pulled into Beach City and was warmly greeted by the excited townies, Steven couldn't help but ponder that something was missing.

"Gooood morning Beach City!" Steven cried as he pulled up to the Crystal Temple and burst out of the Dondai Supremo with a thunderous aplomb. "Everybody's favorite half-Diamond is back for the big One-wait." He stopped short once he realized what was missing. "Where are all the Gems?"

"Steven, is that you?" Steven could hear Greg's voice suddenly appearing behind him. "How you been, Schtu-Ball?"

"Dad!" Steven cried as he rushed up and hugged his father. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"Glad to see you too, kiddo, and happy birthday!" Greg laughed jollily before letting his now adult son go. "Wow, eighteen. Funny how time flies, huh?"

"I still can't believe it either." Steven agreed. "Feels like only yesterday that I first discovered my powers and thought Cookie Cats were connected to them. But that's not important right now, because I have a problem. Have you seen the Crystal Gems anywhere?"

"Not since this morning." Greg nodded. "Pearl got a message from Little Homeworld saying something was wrong and they went off on the Warp Pad. And that was the last I saw of them."

"Something was wrong?" Steven said to himself before he made the first conclusion that came to his mind. "Black Rutile, of course. Come on Dad, we have to save them!"

"Right behind you, sport!" Greg saluted as the father and son took the Warp Pad to Little Homeworld, which was just as barren as the temple, if not even more so.

"I don't get it, where is everyone?" Steven asked as he looked around the empty Little Homeworld. What was once full of happy Gems finding their way in life was now home to a few tumbleweeds and worried pets. "They couldn't have just vanished overnight!"

"Maybe they're all putting on a really elaborate surprise party!" Greg replied with an awkward laugh before giving it to his son straight. "Okay, you got me. I have no idea what's going on." Just then, the two heard a nervous moan, followed by a little Flower Buddy scuttling towards Steven while shivering in fear. "Oh, hey little guy. Is something wrong?"

"Dad, this is Zuli's Flower Buddy!" Steven stated as he held the little creature in his arms. "What's wrong, you little cutie? What happened to your momma?" Unfortunately, the Flower Buddy nervously shook its head before leaping out of Steven's nurturing embrace and running away. "Wait, come back!"

"I guess it must be too scared to say anything," Greg concluded. "I mean, it's not like the great big answer to all of our questions is going to fall out of the sky!"

Just then, Steven noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Above them, a streak of light was falling to Earth, immediately answering Greg's question. "A shooting star in the middle of the day?" Steven wondered to himself as he tried to get a closer look. "Wait, is that star screaming?" Indeed, the star was shrieking loudly before it crashed into the woods nearby, creating a large explosion that could be seen from Little Homeworld. "This day just keeps getting weirder! Come on!"

The Universes then raced out of Little Homeworld and took a journey to the nearby forest, the air now polluted by smoke and fire as the trail of destruction led the duo to what was once Jasper's cave, now smashed to pieces by a crashed spaceship. The two watched as a familiar black hand burst from the wreckage and pulled Black Rutile from what could've been her tomb, haggard and frantic while glaring straight at Steven. "Steven Universe, we meet again at last."

"Stay back Dad, she looks dangerous!" Steven reflexively drew his shield to defend his father with as Black Rutile lurched towards the two. However, Steven slowly realized that maybe this time, Black Rutile wasn't here to hurt. In fact, she didn't seem to even have a weapon drawn and was instead futilely reaching out to him and Greg. "Wait, something's wrong."

"Help me Steven Universe, you're my only hope." Black Rutile wheezed before she fell flat on her face, seemingly passed out from the crash.

"I don't know about you Steven Seagel, but she looks like she's seen better days," Greg said while looking over at Black Rutile's struggling body. "Shouldn't she be pretending to twirl a mustache while going all 'MWAHAHA, I'm going to kick every puppy in the world and there's nothing you can do to stop me!'?"

"Something definitely isn't right here." Steven agreed with Greg while helping Black Rutile to her feet and waking her up. "Black Rutile, it's me, Steven!"

"Someone set us up the bomb." Black Rutile woozily said as she slowly regained consciousness and quickly realized she was in the right place. "Eureka, I arrived just in time!"

"Just in time for what?" Steven asked before Black Rutile frantically grabbed his shoulders.

"Just in time for their return!" Black Rutile manically shouted. "It's been eons since we last saw them, but they found us! They're hungry! AND THEY'RE COMING!"

"Who's coming?" Greg nervously asked, shocked at Black Rutile's sudden burst of insanity before the megalomaniacal Rutile ominously turned to face him.

"The Snake People." Black Rutile muttered fearfully before the three heard a rustling in the bushes.

"Did someone say Snake People?!" Ronaldo Fryman cried as he burst from the bushes at the mere mention of Black Rutile's enemies. "I totally knew they were out there!"

"Ronaldo, what are you doing out here?" Steven asked Ronaldo, confused about whether he'd been hiding there the whole time.

"Searching for Bigfoot. What else would a hunter of the supernatural like me be doing in the great outdoors?" Ronaldo answered. "So anyways, what's this I hear about snake people?"

"Who's this idiot and what does he think he knows about the snake people?" Black Rutile asked harshly.

"Hey, I'll have you know that I somehow managed to accurately predict a good portion of Gem society lore!" Ronaldo argued with Black Rutile, utterly offended at this jab at his intelligence before Steven broke them up.

"Okay you two, break it up!" Steven said as he put the two's argument to rest. "We have something much bigger to focus on here. Apparently, all the Gems on Earth have gone missing, and now Black Rutile comes crashing to Earth rambling about snake people or something."

"My point still stands." Black Rutile said firmly. "What do you know about snake people, you fool?"

"I am so glad you asked!" Ronaldo smirked before presenting a briefcase full of information he gathered on the snake people. "Behold, the truth!" However, all Black Rutile saw was a bunch of news articles and other miscellaneous objects that seemed to her like she was talking to a complete nutcase. "Snake people, or sneople, control our government at the highest level. Look." Ronaldo then brought out a dollar bill sign while gesturing to the snake and diamond symbols. "The snake represents their hold on our country, while the diamond represents their underground mines. Or their sharp teeth! The details aren't important!"

"How does he function?" Black Rutile muttered in silent alarm as Ronaldo continued his explanation.

"However, it seems that the creatures you encountered may be invading from their home planet," Ronaldo stated. "Perhaps they were abducting other races from across the universe to fulfill their evil deeds, like maybe creating a super-diverse army to conquer the entire universe with!"

"Okay, Ronaldo, was it?" Black Rutile bluntly interrupted Ronaldo. "I'm just going to be frank with you. You're a complete idiot. I mean, snake people secretly controlling our government and your only evidence is but a scrap of currency?" She then snatched the dollar bill from Ronaldo's briefcase and ripped it to shreds. "I care little about this planet's history, but even I know this is all the claptrap ramblings of a lunatic!"

"No, my proof!" Ronaldo wailed while trying to collect what remains of the dollar he could find on the ground.

"However, I'll have to give you this." Black Rutile added. "Your description of the Snake People abducting races and people from across the universe is actually quite accurate as I've come here from Revanche 666 to tell Steven that the Snake People have abducted my minions, and they've no doubt done the same to the Crystal Gems."

"So what are you proposing?" Steven asked his archnemesis.

"I'm proposing, and I can't believe I'm saying this, we join forces against a shared enemy." Black Rutile declared, trying not to cringe in agony from making that declaration. "Steven, I urge you to assemble any remaining allies within this area and meet me in that little town of yours. The crazy theorist and I have an announcement to make."

"I can't believe I'm saying this too, but you have my word Black Rutile," Steven replied. "Wait, this isn't another excuse to plot your revenge on me, isn't it?"

"You have my word, little one." Black Rutile promised Steven, crossing her fingers behind her back as the two very reluctantly shook hands.

--

"Attention organic idiots of Beach City, heed my warnings!" Black Rutile commanded the townies' attention as they all gathered around her, Steven, and Ronaldo. "You may not trust me, but I am here today to give you all a warning. All Gems on Earth have been abducted by their ancient enemies, the Snake People!"

"That is right, the Sneople have finally come for us and they're stripping us of our defenses to make it easier for them to conquer!" Ronaldo added before getting a slap on the back of his head.

"No, you twit, they don't want to conquer us as far as I know." Black Rutile grumbled before her visor gave a demonstration. "The Snake People, as you should know, is a primarily gladiatorial race that has thrived on abducting beings from across the universe to fight in their twisted games. Their king is one of what are known as the Universal Lords, who are among the most powerful beings in the known universe who all lay claim to approximately 36.3% of it compared to the Diamonds conquering 63.7%. Any questions?" Black Rutie then saw someone raise their hand. "You there, all the way in the back?"

"Yeah, I got a question." Connie's voice called out as she walked through the crowd to meet with Steven and company. "Why are you here and how did you break out of prison?"

"It was because the Snake People came for Revanche 666 and abducted all the Gems imprisoned there, except for Black Rutile," Steven explained to Connie. "And now she wants our help."

"Wait, seriously?" Connie asked while she tilted her head in confusion. "Someone pinch me, I must be dreaming." Much to her annoyance, however, Black Rutile did exactly that. "Ow! When I said someone pinch me, I didn't mean literally!"

"Well, I'm sorry Mecha-lecha-chimichanga-habba-hooga-swagger, I don't get your human sayings!" Black Rutile replied, making Connie facepalm as Black Rutile didn't even come close to getting her last name right, almost like she was doing it to make her mad. "Anyways, they reside on the planet Serpentes in the Ophidian Nebula, which is unfortunately a couple of galaxies away. We're going to need a really good spaceship to survive a trip there, otherwise, it'll take ages to even reach the planet!"

"I believe I can help!" another voice said as he emerged from the crowd. To Steven's surprise, it was that strange police officer he met back in Empire City. This officer seemed all friendly whenever they'd cross paths, but Steven had a sneaking suspicion that there was more to him than he seemed. "Now, apologies for the sudden intrusion everyone, so allow me to introduce myself. You may know me as just the Officer, but that's just another name for the man I am underneath." The Officer then closed his eyes and began audibly straining as he slowly transformed from a human policeman into a large rat snake wearing a police uniform. "Ooh, transforming still kinda hurts sometimes."

"Oh, my, god!" Ronaldo gasped in utter surprise and delight. "YOU'RE A SNAKE PERSON, I KNEW IT! A REAL LIVE SNAKE PERSON RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, IN BEACH CITY, ON EARTH!"

"Snake Person? I see you're using those old-fashioned derogatory terms for our people." The Officer laughed and patted Ronaldo on the head. "We're actually called Slytherophidians, thank you very much. It's pretty easy to get mixed up since, well, we look like the reptiles of your planet. Anyways, y'all can call me Aescul."

"Wait, there really are snake people, I mean, Slytherophidians, on Earth?" Steven asked Aescul. "I thought Ronaldo was just making up crazy conspiracy theories."

"See, I told you all they were real!" Ronaldo declared proudly before turning to Aescul. "Now then, would you care to answer a couple hundred thousand questions I have about your people?"

"Okay, I'll only answer a few, my boy," Aescul replied. "Now fire away."

"Mister, you have no idea what you just unleashed," Steven said as Ronaldo began with his questions.

"First off, do you control our government at the highest level?" Ronaldo asked.

"Yes, and no. We have several hidden agents not only on this world but several other worlds as well." Aescul answered. "However, any one of them being in charge is quite rare, but not completely impossible."

"Care to list any examples?" Ronaldo responded.

"No." Aescul declined.

"Alright, next question." Ronaldo continued. "Do you put us mammals against each other in things such as elections, sports, or even message boards for anime?"

"What? No! We don't do any of that!" Aescul exclaimed. "If anything, you humans are already very good at having conflicts with each other!"

"Hurtful, but true," Ronaldo said.

"If anything, we prefer peace and order," Aescul added. "Now then, you get one more question kiddo, so make it count."

"One last thing, do you recognize these symbols on our currency?" Ronaldo asked before presenting what was left of the dollar bill that he still had.

"Oh, it looks like our homage to our insignia! Although, ours is a bit more different." Aescul declared as he revealed a near-perfect replica of the snake on the dollar sign. "My theory is that of our earliest scouts of this planet played a role in the foundation of this country. You know, your national animal was going to be either a rattlesnake or a bald eagle, and we all know what they went with. But as for the diamond, well, I think it might be because our king was an old friend of the Gem you all idolize."

"You mean Pink Diamond?" Steven asked. "Honestly, after all we've learned about her over the past few years, I'm honestly not surprised."

"And what about those earliest scouts?" Connie added with a question of her own.

"Oh yeah, that guy," Aescul replied awkwardly. "Last I checked, one of them went under the name Christopher Columbus or something and did some pretty messed up stuff to the natives of this land. We don't like to talk about him much, no offense."

"That's okay, we don't like to talk about him much either." Connie accepted the Slytherophidian's apology. "So now that we know what we're up against, why have they been spying on Steven lately?"

"That's because we've been watching Steven for quite a while now because my superiors have been scouting Gems to bring to our games," Aescul revealed. "This was their way of getting your attention, by snatching up every Gem you know and taking them to Serpentes so that you'll eventually come to rescue them. And now, you've just about taken the bait."

"Then I guess we have no other choice." Steven declared firmly. "We're going to Serpentes."

"Uh, hey, quick question," Greg asked. "How do we get there again?"

"Allow me to offer my help!" Aescul declared as he hailed his police car, which transformed into a spaceship large enough to fit him and his new passengers on their journey to Serpentes. "Seatbelts, everyone!"

"Please tell me this is going to be a normal, non-life-threatening adventure." Steven prayed as he, Black Rutile, Connie, Greg, Ronaldo, and Lion boarded the disguised cop's ship.

"With you? No way!" Black Rutile laughed as the people of Beach City waved Steven goodbye. "Now snakeman, make it so!"

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Aescul obeyed the Rutile's command before he prepared the ship for takeoff. "Now then, any last words before we leave Earth?"

"I got some," Steven said as he peered out the window to face Beach City below them. "Don't worry everyone, I'll bring the Gems home safe and sound! You have my word!"

"And I'll bring evidence that'll make me famous too!" Ronaldo added eagerly, making Steven wonder how he invited himself on the journey before deciding that he already knew.

"Okay, here goes nothing," Aescul said as he prepared to blast off. "Booster fire! Full power!" he yelled before the ship left Earth behind and took off for the great beyond on what was possibly Steven's greatest adventure yet.

--

Elsewhere in space, a large freighter was sailing gently toward a distant planet, filled with alien species from across the universe locked away in prison cells. A hapless buglike Moarchean was banging desperately against his cell bars, crying to be returned to his family. A humanoid cyborg man with gears for fear dressed in pirate attire carved tally marks on his cell wall with the sword he had in place of a hand. An immaculately dressed galactic rockstar tried calming his nerves by performing his over-the-top dance moves. A massive, tattooed giant stood chained to the wall. An angelic woman prayed to her people that she'd be safe wherever she went. The space heroine Sylvia Spectre tried desperately to escape her confinement only to be obstructed by the collar restraining her powers, while her cellmate Envyrno has long since accepted her fate. A group of Metals waited patiently for what fate would await them. A flying woman resembling a jester played a mournful tune on an invisible flute.

But the most notable prisoners in the freighter were the massive amounts of Gems kept away in specialized cells to restrain their powers. Chief among them, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl stood resilient as they were face to face with Captain Boa of the Jormagundr Royal Family's personal guard. "We're almost there, Gems." Boa sneeringly announced to his prisoners. "Are you ready for the Contest?"

--

With that, the end begins here. What awaits Steven and the Crystal Gems on Serpentes? Are the royal family really out to get them, or are they more than they seem? Does Black Rutile have anything else planned once she reaches the Snake People? And where does that mysterious Lapidarist fit into all of this? All of these questions and more will be answered in the epic twelve-chapter finale to the Steven Universe: Alternate Future series.

[the-dream-beyond]

Episode 13: Selfishness, Judgement, and Desire with Christine Meyer

Christine Meyer 

Whenever you feel bad, you gotta know you've got to know that you are bumping into a limiting belief of some kind.

Nik Tarascio 

Today's topic is going to be a big one, we're talking about selfishness, judgment, limiting beliefs that hold us back from having what we want. And just the idea that we will only get as much or go as far as we allow ourselves to go. So for those you that are on a journey of growth and expansion, I hope this gives you permission to go way bigger way faster. Welcome to the dream beyond. I'm your host, Nik Tarascio. I'm a CEO musician, an overall seeker of Truth, inspiration and simply put, how to live the most fulfilling life possible. Growing up surrounded by extremely wealthy and successful people gave me unique and unfiltered perspectives of those who have seemingly made it through on the dream beyond we're letting you in on what it really takes to achieve your dreams. What happens when it turns out your destination isn't the promised land you are expecting? How to process the lessons from your past while mapping of course to true fulfillment. Let's get started. Hey, guys, how you doing? I'm here with executive life coach and author of keep it simple. Smarty Pants stop overthinking start aligning live happy. Her clients include many incredibly recognizable names and just thought leaders entrepreneurs from all over the world. She's a sought after podcast guest and founding member, regular contributor to the Forbes coaches Council. Please welcome my friend Christine Meyer, thank you for being here with us today.

Christine Meyer 

Hey, Nick, thank you for having me and taking me up on my, my invitation to be on your podcast.

Nik Tarascio 

Absolutely. Absolutely. No, it's It's, it's been a long time coming. I think. For context, Christina and I met in Sedona, Arizona at a really fun retreat with our friend Andrea Lake. She had hosted us out there and I think we really connected over was whoopee cushions in in the aisle of

Christine Meyer 

CVS or? Yes, we totally we totally bonded on on. I think that thing was called a flop. So we were flopping in the aisles of CVS. That's right. And I remember the look you had when you when you saw me playing with it. You were somewhat shocked. But so delighted. Yes, there was there was another, someone in the world who would actually play with you in those ways.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, I mean, I think in some ways, in many ways, that's what the the podcast for me is like, let's not take ourselves too seriously. Like we talked about big ideas. We talk about going and doing all this meaningful stuff in the world. But then I think sometimes people just forget that it's also supposed to be fun, right? It's also supposed to be enjoyment. And it's all a big comedy anyway.

Christine Meyer 

It's all one big sitcom. And if you can, I do my best to see my life that way. Even in those moments when there's plenty of stuff going on that that isn't particularly fun, quote, unquote. It's like, How can I find the fun in it. And I do think that for those of us who want to achieve, and feel and live into our highest potential, do and be all that we can, it is a fine line, truly, to, to not take that too seriously, to continue to introduce FUN into your life and to make life fun. Because if you're not having fun, if you're not enjoying it, if you're not feeling good your way to what you want. What's the point?

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, yeah, you're kind of hitting on. Really the, you know, the heart of the show is around fulfillment. And I think that there's a lot of people including myself that have been on that treadmill of doing more building more to I don't know what and right like just always doing more in hopes that maybe someday I'll feel whatever feeling I was chasing. So that's really kind of the heart of what the show is is, is how do we find that fulfillment? I know because of the conversations you have and the kinds of people you support. I'm sure you have a lot to say about it. But first, because I think you and I always turn we always go to these big ideas. I always end up liking these really fun, dynamic conversations about really cool ideas. I'm curious to hear more about your origins and as a teenager as a kid like what was that early dream for you? What was the thing that you felt pulled to what was fun for you?

Christine Meyer 

And well, I really wanted to be a vet. And I really wanted to be a racecar driver. And I always really liked helping people. So so that was truly the big pull for me now racecar driver doesn't fall into that but that was just the adventures that the part that I would love to experience. So the poll was was always because I cared very deeply about how other people felt before I cared very deeply about how I felt.

Nik Tarascio 

Oh, that's interesting. So Well, first, I have to ask, Do you have pets?

Christine Meyer 

I said that on purpose. What's that?

Nik Tarascio 

Do you have pets?

Christine Meyer 

I have two amazing dogs. I call them my boys BO Y, Z. And I just, I just, I don't know. They're just they've got my heart. I just love my boys.

Nik Tarascio 

Fantastic. So So you've gone down the path of you were drawn to animals, you have some animals now? Do you have speeding tickets?

Christine Meyer 

No, I do not.

Nik Tarascio 

I actually racecar racecar driver thing did not materialize

Christine Meyer 

doesn't mean I don't dry fast. Oh, I just, I just know where the cops are

Nik Tarascio 

even better, even better.

Christine Meyer 

I can feel them before them before I spot them. Yes, I get those impulses. I'm just gonna slow down a little bit here. Just like this morning, that happened this morning. Just slow down a bit here. And then shortly after a cop pulled up behind me on the highway.

Nik Tarascio 

Fantastic. So the third thing you said that again, I really you know, this idea of helping people before you help yourself? How did that show up in the earlier parts of your life, when you may have not understood that that's what was going on.

Christine Meyer 

That showed up in my life. In terms of putting myself second, I sort of overrode how I felt to help someone else feel better. I overrode what I wanted. In many cases, before I chose what I wanted. And I think society somewhat trains us like that we observe people responding to us. And so I wanted you to feel good. And so I would do things that would, you know, help you out in those ways. And I think we have to reverse that. I think we have to be selfish, we have to care about how we feel first, so that we can help other people so that we can be a value to other people. And so I do make how I feel a priority. And then I go out into the world, I make how I feel a priority. And then I have conversations. Because if I want to be a value, not only to myself and and be satisfied with who I am and enjoy my life and feel joyful and happy, then I have to attend to how I feel, make that a priority. And then when I go out into the world, I can be a value to others. I can help others I can, even if I don't say a word.

We're supposed to have silence there, right? We are. Yeah.

Nik Tarascio 

It makes me very uncomfortable. When there's long silence, especially on a podcast, we were like did the radio break.

Christine Meyer 

The radio did not break, the radio did not break. And I liked that you left the pause there. Because pauses are really good pauses are good for to sort of take it all in pauses are good to sort of in that moment, feel where you are. And take a pause, take a pause. We don't have to fill all of the spaces and there again,

Nik Tarascio 

yeah, there we go. All right, good. We're pushing boundaries for me right now.

Christine Meyer  

We are no I get that we want to fill the spaces when we're doing a podcast. But but you know, in your life, if people do get uncomfortable with silence, I love silence. I love silence. When when I'm in a room with other people. I love silence. I love engaging. I love having conversations. Yes. And silence is so golden as well. It's like when you're when you're silently and I feeling you, you and I have many of these conversations that include those pauses in those vibrational communications. You see, we're much more interpreters of of energy than we give ourselves credit for. And so when those silences happen, if you can just sort of melt into it, and just feel your way through it, and then pick up the conversation.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, I mean, talking to you is always fun for me, because it's a dance. And I've noticed that I really struggle with the one sided conversation. You know, I really struggle when it's someone either requires me to carry the whole thing, or someone leaves no space for me to be in the dance. And I just I appreciate again, like you do leave space for others. And so there's something really beautiful about that. And so I want to go back to, you know, this prior version of you this earlier version of you that, you know, put your needs or wants second. And now you've come to this place of saying I'm actually going to take care of myself first. And I believe that from that space, I mean, again, I'm an aviation right so we talked about the oxygen mask you put your own on you secure your own before you help anybody else. I'm really interested in knowing more about is there a particular story in your life? That was the like, Aha breakthrough for you where you're like, I just can't do this to myself anymore. It's actually not in service of other and it's not in service of self. What was it more of a gradual process for you?

Christine Meyer 

I think it was a combination of many experiences, I don't think that there was one aha moment, there was one that sort of tipped the scale for me. But it but it's not only one event, I think it's a lifetime of events, a lifetime of experiences a lifetime of, of collecting data, and, and making choices and decisions and recognizing that perhaps I'd gone too far off on the other scale, or realize that my desire was now stronger. To make myself important. When not ask anyone not ask anyone else, to make me important. And that's something I want to clear here make clear is that the choice was to, I'm going to value myself, I'm going to make myself important. And I'm not going to ask one other person in the world to do that for me.

Nik Tarascio 

Would you tell us about that? That particular tipping point experience?

Christine Meyer 

Yeah, I guess I remember standing. I had been married for quite a while at this time to a lovely man, nothing ever, I would never say anything bad about him. He, we still speak to this day. And we had the picture perfect life, we had the life where you have the things and the people around you and all of those things. And yet, I found that I wanted something different. I wanted to discover who I was. And I wanted to discover even more about finding true happiness without all of the stuff. And and there had been a deep desire in me from the time that I was small to understand energy to understand the universe to understand my place in the universe to understand why I'm here who I am, what this is all about. And so there was a moment there, where I thought this, this is the beginning. This is the beginning for me of truly understanding that. And, and so I ended up eventually following inspiration, love, I loved myself into that relationship and loved my way in. And I also loved my way out of that relationship. Because I said yes to me, and it was not against him. It was yes to me.

Nik Tarascio 

That's beautiful. And I wonder, as you say that, putting oneself first and talking about loving your way out of a relationship? How do you manage the I don't know if it's a cultural thing, or I don't know, if it's just people around us that will say you're being selfish? How dare you put yourself first, right? Because a lot of us don't allow that narrative. Even when you say it, it's like, there's a little part of me that's like, as the way I grew up, it wouldn't be okay to say that, like, Oh, guys, I'm gonna put myself first and then everyone comes second, when I put myself first I do want to be in service of others. But it's there seems to be this, this negative sense of putting yourself first, how did you navigate that? And how do you still hold that space of like, it is actually the most loving thing to put myself first.

Christine Meyer 

And I love that. So So Well, again, when people are asking you to put them first what are they doing?

That's actually quite selfish sounding.

Christine Meyer 

Right. And so if we could all we won't all find agreement in this. But if we could all find agreement that we are born selfish, we are selfishly wired, you can only think through self feel through self and perceive through self, and you are the creator of your reality. No one else creates for you. No one feels for you. No one thinks for you know, and proceeds for you, you can walk a mile in somebody else's shoes, but at the end of the day, there's still somebody else's shoes. So how do I live that? I do my best to? Yeah, of course, I'll hold someone responsible for how I feel temporarily I'm I'm human. But underlying that is the true knowing that how I feel is about me, how I feel is how I'm perceiving you. How I feel is how I'm perceiving what you're perceiving about me. It has nothing to do with you. And so I do practice selfishness and, and not because not only because I want to be in service to others, because then that's another that's another little attachment. It's like I'll do it for me just as long as it's benefiting others. I want to stand proudly in my selfishness. And what that does is it makes me responsible if you will get I get to take the credit for Mike reactions, I get to take the credit for how I feel, I get to take the credit for what the relationships are around me. And so I encourage everyone to be selfish, I encourage everyone to reconsider the idea that selfish is bad. Because if you're not being selfish enough to feel good, then you're going to blame someone else for how you feel. Or you're going to think that they need to do something, be something different, do something different, so that you can feel better, and that's powerless. So being selfish is empowering, contrary to what society will have. You believe. And the reason why people don't want you to be selfish, is because they are selfishly wired, and they want you to do what they want you to do. And they call you selfish, interesting, everyone is selfish. Some people won't allow themselves to admit that they want to be selfish. And some people will put others ahead of them like I did, and then blame them. And again, I'm not saying I'm not at all saying here, don't do things for other people. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying care how you feel. Make that a selfish quest, hear about how you feel, and and discover that you can affect how you feel. And you're in charge of that, and leave everyone else off the hook. It's your job.

Nik Tarascio 

Where's the boundary? So if someone says, Okay, this is amazing, I'm super inspired by you, which I always am. But if someone says like, I'm really inspired by this concept of going out into the world, and trying this new version of being self referential and selfish in this way, but I worry that I may not do good in the process. Like I don't know how to know when it's, is there too selfish? Or is there different kinds of selfish, I still want to be in service of others. But I think what you said is right, when I've not done that, when I put myself second, I end up resenting the person I was trying to help, and they never even asked for that. They're like, why are you pissed at me? Or why? Are you holding things over me? Or why do you feel like I owe you something? Like, Oh, I did stuff that I didn't even want to do for you in the first place. So where's that line of like, how do we stay in a healthy form of selfishness?

Christine Meyer 

Well, well, you can tell by the way you feel when you're putting yourself first and not pushing against someone else. You're not harming other people. And, you know, there, there are things that will feel good to you to do, and things that won't feel good to you to do. And there are things that will feel good to me. So it's all a personal journey of discovery. And I say, All right, then go far off the other end of the scale and get get selfish in whatever ways you feel from where you are, and see if that feels good. And then ratchet it back and you'll find your way you'll find your way. But if you if you apply this umbrella of being selfish is good. How does it feel to put myself first? Well, it feels I feel guilty for doing that, because I've been told all my life not to do that. And it's like, how, how did we come to that conclusion, again, we came to that conclusion, because I please mean, right, just do the things I want you to do. And I'll be happy, I'll feel good. And if you don't, you've got a very short leash, because if you don't do the things that I want you to do, then I don't feel good. And I don't like that. And I think it's your fault. You see how intertwined and messy that gets, if we would all just get selfish and tend to how we feel. And yeah, we will play with people that will push our buttons, but that's part of being a human, and that those people are huge gifts to you, that the number one you attracted you rendezvous with. But also, you could thank those people that push your buttons, you can say thank you for contributing to my expansion. You're really annoying to me right now because I'm perceiving you from that perspective. Or, or or you are, you know, put in whatever you want. And but this interaction is causing me to expand. So really on the flip side of that is a huge thank you for causing me to expand and in this moment, I am not taking my expansion I am not that of all which I've become in this moment because I'm still blaming you. But you've contributed greatly to my experience.

Nik Tarascio 

Give me a real example of that so I can really, really grasp it.

Christine Meyer 

Well, so Okay, a real example is my daughter the other day when stirred a few things up, and, and I was not happy about that. I was angry about that, about her choices. And so she is the creator of her life. She's going to create experiences for herself too. Expand, that's none of my business really. And when this all unfolded, I had emotions around it, right, I felt angry, I felt disappointed, I felt sort of all a little bit all over the place, numerous emotions around. And, but once I was able to take step back from it, I was able to think, Alright, so she did this thing, I had a reaction to it. Whether it's right or wrong, I don't like really to put things in categories like that right or wrong, good or bad. It's an experience that she attracted into her experience for her own choices for her own experience for her own expansion. So as I look at that, and I see it, is there a different perspective, rather than judgment, rather than being disappointed rather than being angry, rather than then wanting to blame her for how I feel and and judge her, let's say, How can I take that experience that's made me expand, because now I have an opportunity, look at something that I've never looked at before. And think of it differently. Without that experience that I run a food with, I can keep, keep on keeping on with my beliefs and my assumptions and my judgments and my perspectives about things. Having that experience expanded me into a whole new universe of understanding of letting go of some old beliefs, some, some, some wiring that I might have around what parenting means, what parenting is, what a good or bad air quotes here, parent I am, what a good job, I'm doing what and, and because we are wired to love, we just are at the core of who we are, we are wired to love and when we are not loving, we are diminishing our own experience. So in those moments, when something is happening, that you don't like, you might not be able to feel love or appreciation for it. But as you step away from it and review it, can you find appreciation for that? Can you find the benefits in having an experience that you don't want? Think that you don't want? Can you find the benefits and the positive aspects, the the expanded version of what's really going on here? Because we're all expanding beings. And when we don't feel good, we've expanded and we're not going with that expansion. And so we do limit ourselves, we limit ourselves in those moments, we have these reactions to things, and then we kind of leave it there.

Nik Tarascio 

When it comes to children, I always try not to press too much on a specific story so that no one is sharing too deeply in that way. But I'm wondering if you could share without maybe telling her side of it? What was the judgment? And then what was the specific thought expansion that took place for you?

Christine Meyer 

Yeah, that's a great question. So so the the, the judgment around it was, you shouldn't have done that. The judgment around that was I don't like that the judgment around that was, you know, better than that. And then then a layer underneath that was, what does that mean about me as a parent? Right, because because, as a parent, I take my child as an extension of me, she's her own person and all of that, but her behaviors and how she goes out into the world. I do feel it's a reflection on me, also. And so that's the expansion. That's the expansion is how much does it reflect on me? How, how much does this have to do with me versus her being the creator of her own reality? Also, it touched on am I trying to control this child? How much control Have I got? What's mine and what's hers? What part of this is going to benefit her? And what part of it is it benefiting me? Because really, what's benefiting her is none of my business. That's for her to work out. I just hope that I give her the tools to work that out. But what she gets from it is truly none of my business. What I get from it is and so it it broadened my thought it because you can only you bump into things to help you expand And you bump into things to, to question your own perspectives and beliefs. And so it had me really, again wonder, how can I continue to let go, she's my child, and I feel responsible for her, but she's also the creator of her own reality, and she will continue to create her reality, whether I like it or not. And I might not always like it or not. And so then how can I then think differently about the situation? Am I? Am I blowing it out of proportion? Am I? How did I bump into this? And can I appreciate that I did bump into this and see it, again, to the point that we were speaking about as a sitcom see it as it's kind of funny. It's kind of funny.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, you know, it's the piece that I hear coming through, there's, as you were speaking, one I'll share a silly story is that my family has this funny thing we do at dinner, where when there's, you know, some shared food, or like a brownie, we'll just keep cutting it in half, until there's like the smallest morsel left, because no one wants to take the last piece. Right? I'm realizing like this plays that that, that dynamic of selfishness, but the other side of it is judgment. It's a fear of judgment, right? It's like, I want to have that because clearly I keep taking from it. But I don't want to be the one to take the last bit because of how that will be perceived by everybody else. So it's, it's a really funny thing of like, don't clear the plate, don't be the one to take the last bit so that no one else is left with anything. And as as you were talking that was coming through. And I started to think through how selfishness and judgment are these really complicated things of, you know, it's easy for me to say like my outside judgment is the worry, but it's not. It's actually my inner judgment. That is holding me back from being selfish. It's, it's the it's my projection of what I believe other people would think because I actually ranked that about myself. So I'm wondering how you've seen that judgment come up in the narratives, again, you're working with some of the most impressive people on the planet, right. And one thing I've noticed, as I've spent more time in, like the YPO communities in the entrepreneurial community is, it almost seems like people only go as far as they allow themselves to get right. There's a certain point where like, I couldn't make more money than this, or I couldn't possibly have done that. How do you help people with this concept of expanding their own self worth overcoming judgment and allowing themselves to be selfish,

Christine Meyer 

then? Well, it's different for everybody, right? Because everybody's in a different place about it. There are common beliefs there are, there are similar perspectives about being selfish, certainly. But I really work with the individual on where they're at with it. So that that could just be again, we talk about the broader perspective, we talk about the bigger general concepts of things first, because we need to lay a foundation on selfishness. If I just say to you, Nick, just stop being selfish, you're gonna say, but no, why? Why would I. But now that we've laid that foundation, now that I've sort of explained or expanded upon the subject of selfishness and brought in a new perspective, you're going to start considering that you are. And so it's, it's that a lot of it is that I'm bringing in new perspectives, I'm bringing in new foundations from which we bounce off of, and then you, I can't apply it for you. We talk about how to apply it, we talk about how you apply it here and perhaps couldn't, didn't feel right to apply it here and so on. But you have to discover how that plays into your life and you pay attention to how you feel you pay attention to what you're thinking you pay attention to your inner dialogue, you pay attention to how you, you're the judgment that you're having about yourself for saying, No, you know what, I'm not going to do that tonight because I'd rather stay home or I'd rather kind of like put yourself in a group of people who want to go to a restaurant. And let's say you're all standing on a street corner and you want Chinese food, but everyone and someone else wants steak and someone else wants doughnuts and someone else wants whatever right sushi and how do you ever How do you ever sort that out? Unless you're unless you're willing unless it's okay with you to go and have some of the other but if you really want what you want, why not just say hey, you guys go do your thing. I'm gonna go eat what I want and I'll see you later. But again, it's about taking responsibility for self taking credit for self taking credit for how I feel and and what I want because what you want and what I want might be different, but neither one is wrong.

Nik Tarascio 

I mean, this literally just happened last night was I've my fiance and my friend wanted to have sexual Chinese. I don't really like it. I don't like the spice makes my tongue numb. Not not fun for me. Like did you go No. I literally said I won't go I'm actually like I prefer to go to this other place and we got Indian instead. I'm okay with spice, just not certain spices. But it was like really interesting because at first I was like, I don't want to go. But I kind of threw a bit of a tantrum of like, I'm going to leverage the fact that me not going is the punishment. Like it's very avoidant behavior, right? And it's like, Wait, actually, I'm trying to muscle an outcome, which is also not great. It's like true. If I can say from a place of care, recognize, yeah, if I can, if I can say from a place of care, why don't you guys go, if that's what you really want to enjoy, I'm happy to opt out. But if you'd like me to be included, I'd prefer this other place. So I'll let you guys choose whether being with me is more important than sensual and Chinese. And I'm not offended either way, if that's your choice. So it was like an interesting,

Christine Meyer 

so much freedom, freedom, there's so much freedom. And that is that, like I said, Let others off the hook. And you know, there was a time, I don't know, several years ago, when the for July 4, my husband and daughter wanted to go see the the fireworks downtown. And I just didn't want to. And so I said, Hey, you guys go, I'm going to stay home, I wanted to see the fireworks. But I didn't want to go there. And that's okay. Right what I want and what they want is, even if it's different, it's okay. And so I didn't feel offended that they went without me, I didn't try and pull a guilt trip or manipulate them into doing what I wanted to do. I truly freely wanted them to do what they wanted to do while I also wanted to do what I wanted to do. And so off they went, they saw the fireworks there. And I sat here and I came upstairs, I looked out the windows, and I probably saw five different spots of fireworks going off. And so what why I'm saying this story here is because I want people to start, at least considering the idea that we can all have what we want, even if it looks different.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah. Yeah, except Except, and again, this is where I had a real edge with this yesterday was, did I actually want to just have different food on my own? Or did I actually want them to come to the other restaurant with me? Because what I didn't do yesterday was powerfully say, Listen, I'm pretty attached to not eating at that place, because it makes me feel sick. But I'd very much like to spend time with you guys, would you? Would you be open to that invitation. Now again, it all worked out in my favor. But it was almost too much vulnerability for me to say, I would feel sad if we didn't have dinner together. This is someone who was visiting from out of town. So it's I would have felt sad, had he not been there? Or if he had chosen the food over spending time with me. But I found that I didn't really say it was in the

Christine Meyer 

food, chosen the food over spending time with me. Is there a different way that you could look at that? You're making it a disorder that when not really, like if you want something to eat and he wants something deep? Could he not goes get something to eat? And then you get together again later?

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, I mean, again, and I think that's also part of the like, expansive possibility of hey, instead of meeting tonight for dinner, why don't you go get the food, you want to get the food I want. And we can catch up on another time while you're here in town. But it's hard not to personalize it. It's hard not to see that like, again, practice. Yeah, it does. I can see that. And again, I I imagine that, especially in long term intimate relationships or business partnerships are any like real high stakes, you know, dependent team process, that it's even harder to ask for that because it brings in all this other stuff of like, let's say I'm the more picky eater, right? And I'm not I happen to be less picky generally. But if I was the more picky eater, I'd imagine then all the shaming language comes in of like, Oh, God, you're always have an issue with everything I suggest. It's always that it's always this. So again, I imagine it's hard for some people to be selfish, when they're just different from the norm, right? It's lovely. If you're like, if you love watching baseball and drinking beers great, like you'll have plenty of people you can hang out with. But for those of us that are the strange outliers, I imagine it's it's probably not we here

Christine Meyer 

are well, it's really not that unique. And it is it's yes and a little bit. And aren't we outliers, sort of the not necessarily the Rule Breakers but the we, we question the rules. We question the beliefs around us we questioned, we question authority, we question all kinds of things right? And so Aren't we here sort of leading the way for other people, because none of us are free until we recognize that we are in charge of how we feel and what we perceive and find ways to feel better, and find ways to change our perspectives so that we we selfishly feel good. Because feeling bad, never feels good. And there's nothing wrong with feeling bad, but feeling bad, never feels good. So aren't we the ones who are on that leading edge who are saying, wait a minute, there's another way to look at this. Wait a minute, there's another belief that I could have there's something that I'm bumping into here. Whenever you feel bad, you got to know you've got to know that you are bumping into a limiting belief of Sometimes you're bumping into an outdated belief right here now, and you can do something about it now, did that belief serve you up until now probably, certainly hasn't harmed you, now you're bumping into it because you've expanded, you're not going to feel good. Unless you're moving in the direction of your expansion. You will feel dissatisfied for the rest of your life, if you don't find ways to feel good about movement forward.

Nik Tarascio 

I mean, it's, it's funny, every time I talk to you, I'm always like, I have no idea why we're talking. And I did, as I told you before we started recording, like, I don't ever have a why other than it's just fun to talk to you. Like I don't Yeah, there are people in my life that it's you know, it's an agenda. You're like, we're talking about this particular thing. And the goal is to get to some conclusion, when I talk to you, it's always fun just to meander through thoughts and find out that we're really at the crux of, at least for me, the idea that I will only ever have as much as I allow myself to have. Yep. And that's kind of 100% kind of hurts to think that is that, you know, I, again, I grew up middle class, around private jets. So I saw the Uber wealthy, and, you know, indoctrinated in, like the middle class should assume that wealthy people got that by doing dumb shit, their money came from gotten gains, so that you don't think you want that too. And you're not willing to do those things. But

Christine Meyer 

like, none of those beliefs serve you. That's right, those beliefs hold you from your own abundance.

Nik Tarascio 

That's right. That's exactly right. So it's like I keep hitting into these walls as I've gone down this road. And then I'm like, oh, it's interesting that I think a lot of the people I've spoken to that have it all, they sold for tons of money, right? They've got all the money in the world, they still have limiting beliefs that are now actually holding the mirror up to them of like, are you even worthy of this much are you allowed to?

Christine Meyer 

Absolutely. And, you know, again, there are all kinds of ways that this conversation could go but but if you're if, if you're accustomed to, to a certain lifestyle, let's say, then then your expectation is higher to allow more of that, you see. And so if you're giving, taking your your example, here, now, if you're born into money, your expectation of having money is higher, so you allow it more, if you were born not in money, and you worked your way hard, through something to something and became very wealthy, and then sold it right, then then you you found ways to allow it, perhaps through your struggling, your suffer, brings suffering. And then over the course of time, you come to believe that money only comes through hard work, struggle and suffering, and proving yourself and earning it. So so there's no, there's no straight path to anything, although we all want that straight path, everything that we introduce into our own lives is for our benefit is for our own evolution is for our own discovery and our own. So you are the creator of it, and you are also the creator of view. So you are you are creating and you are the creator, and you are the result of the creation, you see. And so, so yes, we there isn't one person on this planet who doesn't bump into some kind of a belief wall. At some point about something, whether that be money, whether that be relationships, self, it age, moving through time, like even there, let's talk about moving through time and and what people come to expect. They look around the the observe people moving through time, and many of them decline, many of them get sick, many of them, whatever, whatever, whatever. So that trains you, if you will, into an expectation of what's to come for you, even though you don't want it, you come to believe that that's what's coming for you to I don't want it but that's probably how you see what I'm where I'm going here. So at some point in time, you've got to start asking yourself, what do I want my experience to be? And, and about anything about anything, but while that's while I see that and that in that in that in that in that? What do I want my experience to be think of going to a restaurant and seeing a buffet a menu full of choices. You go to the restaurant, you say what do I want to eat? You can observe some of the other things on the on the menu and say, I don't really like that don't like that. But you're going to choose something that you want. So that that's really we have the ability to we do obliviously often, but we have a more we have more control over the outcomes we have more control over what we are actually creating. But the reason why we get some of this, and some of that, and some of this, and some of that, and some of this, and some of that is really, because we're looking at what we want, and we're talking about what we don't, we're looking at what we want, and we don't believe we can have it, we're looking at what we want. And we decide that that's just for them. Or we look at what we want, or what we would prefer. And we say yeah, but that's not how I was brought up. In inside, at the very core of me, I know I was born selfish. We all know that when we're born, but that's trained out of us. Don't you do that? You'll be selfish, please me first. You see, and so so many of the things that we accept are things that we've observed, we've been told, we perceive we felt and didn't check to see if that was really true for us to where we wanted to be wanted it to be true. And so there are plenty of opportunities, life will give you plenty of opportunities every day to bump into your limiting beliefs and ask yourself, Is this what I truly want to continue to believe?

Yeah, this resonates?

Nik Tarascio 

I'm I'm wondering what, you know, again, just more of a general curiosity. What do you believe is the most insidious, limiting belief that shows up in in the people you've worked with?

Christine Meyer 

Great question. I don't think there's any belief that is insidious, because you've come to that conclusion somehow. So I feel like what you believe is valid? Because you've come to that conclusion. But is it? Is it true? Is it authentically true, meaning authentic to who you truly are? So I think that one of the primary beliefs that people have is, I am not worthy. And I need to spend the rest of my lifetime proving myself worthy. And that applies for my clients.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, I imagine that people that are really good at pushing boundaries and going beyond where they were yesterday, because there are definitely some growth minded folks, right, especially entrepreneurial people, I imagine that being on the train of having the blessing of continued success must much just keep smashing into that edge. It's like dammit, I actually finally got comfortable what I had last year. And now I have more again this year. And then I'm starting a new with this whole, this whole concept of Am I worthy of this? Now I need to prove my worth to be here. And again, I only I don't know that perfect. But I know that that has been a little bit of my journey is every time I have a win, I'm like crap, we're here again. We're here again,

Christine Meyer 

you always will be because because it's what you're wired, you are wired, you were born wanting, if you didn't want the world would not expand. And so every human being that, you know, wants and even for the even the people say no, I don't want anything we want. If you still want there's still desire there is there not? I don't want anything. Yeah, that that is still a want. And so we are wired to want we are wired for desires, because desires is what keeps the universe expanding us and the universe. That's That's how evolution happens. Desires. He will evolution. And so wanting is never never never a bad thing. And think about it. When you get to when you get to a destination, let's say you, you get in your plane and you get to a destination where you don't just sit there in the plane, you get out of the plane and you check out what's there. So so it's it's, it's it's a false premise to believe that we shouldn't want and it's a false premise to believe that wanting more selfish or greedy, because we are wired at the very core of us to want more. Now the distinction I like to make is can you want more and be satisfied with where you are? Can you want more and be satisfied on the way to more knowing that what you want is inevitable? And most people don't believe because and me included? I don't always believe that I can have what I want because sometimes I want that something that's far beyond where I am right now. So it's hard. It's hard. It feels hard. It's like well, wait a minute, can I want something that that that I've not experienced yet? And the answer is yes. The answer is what I want is inevitable. Now can I mold my beliefs to match more of that desire? Because if I'm saying I want that but I want that but I want that but but but but then I'm walking around with a whole lot of butts and not much problem. Rest Of War toward what I want. But the nature of our being is to desire desire is desire is part of our DNA, if you will.

Nik Tarascio 

Man, you're just dropping bombs. So we got to land the plane soon, but I have two final questions make it a soft landing. Yeah, exactly. We're not gonna we're gonna have a hard landing today. In the case of, I mean, there's just so much rich stuff in these questions, I almost want to do part two immediately. But we can we think about this experience of desire that we all have, there's kind of a couple of different things to do. One is to say, if I don't believe I'm worthy of more than I need to shame, the desire or dissociate from that desire. On the flip side, if we want something that's like you said, I can't see the path to get there. Like, it'll probably reveal itself at some point. But today, I can't see because it's so far to go. How do I sit in the discomfort of that desire without resenting it?

Christine Meyer 

Know that see that? That's ask a different question.

Nik Tarascio 

What question should I truly don't know? Like, I mean, this is, this has been, you know, look,

Christine Meyer 

I was never asking you to sit in the discomfort of anything.

Nik Tarascio 

I know. You're not how can I? I know you're not. But I think it's like that the you know, again, I was raised in a certain way. And a lot of that is, you know, your wants are not necessary. Your needs, maybe, maybe you need too much, right? Like, there's something to that,

Christine Meyer 

well, you your needs are never too much. It's just that, you know, when you ask your parents for your fourth pair of shoes, when you were a kid, and they didn't have the money. They felt bad number one. And so what's the next best answer is like you greedy little bugger. Why do you always want more, you've already got three pair of shoes. So so it's understandable why people come to that conclusion. But but the idea is that when there's something that feels out of your reach that you want, can you understand that so Oh, this is good here. So pure desire, sorry, my face is really dark. But here we go. The pure desire, feels good, pure. People have learned to associate desire with yearning. I love that. But oh, but that kind of thing in that little voice,

Nik Tarascio 

for Exactly exactly.

Christine Meyer 

That, but I don't have it right. So then that's how we learn to manipulate, have temper tantrums, scream, beg, plead, borrow, whatever. And instead of understanding, desire, pure desire feels good, pure desire, from your soul's perspective is yummy. Something more to want, yay, something to work toward, move toward. And the reason we have desires is for the journey toward them. It's when you think about it, when you when you have a desire, and you and you finally get to it. You're happy with it. And you might appreciate it and like it and love it and have a thrilling moment about it. But how long do you just sit there and say, Good, I did that. Done. Now I'm done. Now I'm done. If you don't, there's other things you want other things, other places to be people to see and that kind of thing. So so no, no, I think it's important to understand the difference make the distinction that desire. pure desire feels good. resisted desire feels horrible.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, I hear a lot of foot on the gas put on the brake at the same time here. Yeah, okay. And that, okay, that's a powerful distinction, to really say, we are wired to want I think that's kind of the biggest thing I take from today. That's that's where I feel like we finally come to is we by nature should want and we should feel good in the wanting and that desiring we should find a way to give ourselves that permission.

Christine Meyer 

We by nature can't help but want not should can't help but want. We by nature are not meant to feel bad about wanting. We by nature are made to want and feel the purity of desire. We as humans, get in the way of our desires.

Well said.

Nik Tarascio 

Well said, yeah, that is again, I could go forever in these conversations. I've just every time we talk I'm like, I wish time wasn't a thing. And maybe it's not but in this case, unfortunately. So I have to ask you the last question It's so important.

Christine Meyer 

And just to time, you know, we do live within the context of time. Which gives us structure.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah. Yeah. So, again, typically My question is, you know, you started out with a dream of being a vet and race cars and helping others. I'm actually curious to know what's your dream beyond what do you dream about now and maybe it's even what is just your desire? What is that most pleasurable desire that you hold today?

Christine Meyer 

To tune be joyful to playfully joyfully live? Wherever that takes me

Nik Tarascio 

fantastic I wish I had a whoopee cushion or something to sound off in this moment.

Christine Meyer 

Darn it, I shouldn't

Nik Tarascio 

myself for not having thought this through but I was like in that moment. Next one, some people ring bells and hit gongs. We would have just had a nice whoopee cushion sound to say. We did it you know

Christine Meyer 

and and like I have I have bathroom humor all the way through I was brought out with with three brothers and that was how we bonded we at the dinner table. They would all art can I say that on here? Oh, I to this day. I just It just It cracks me up.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, well, again, it's it's beautiful to come back full circle from the moment we were hanging out and CBS. And I think it was 2012 or something like that. So it's been it's been quite. So I think you really recapped it quite beautifully with what you said. And wow, just it's a big it's a big idea that we are wired to want. And sometimes we get in the way of of

Christine Meyer 

right often. Yeah, and often and that's okay. Like, I want to make that okay, but you can get out of your way. Yeah.

Nik Tarascio 

Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna hold that I'm gonna hold that for a little bit. My current desire is to really grasp what you're saying. To be able to fully give myself that experience of wanting as someone that always wants more always has wanted more and was pretty verbal about it until I was told to stop talking about it all the time. Because it's seen as a complaint, which is interesting, because I was like, Yes, I was yearning. I wasn't desiring. I didn't think I could have it so I was suffering it

Christine Meyer 

right and back to your I know you want to end here but back to your your comment before how can I? I'm paraphrasing here be okay with the dissatisfaction want to say don't be okay with the dissatisfaction. Find a way to be satisfied knowing that you'll always want more. It's an endless journey of more. And so can you find a way to be satisfied with right where you are on your inevitable way to more?

Nik Tarascio 

You speak well, you think well, too. It's fun. It's fun to watch how your mind works. So thank you. Thank you so much for being here and I again, I encourage for for any listeners interested in learning more about Christine's thoughts and work and just how her mind processes really cool information. Check out her book keep it simple, smarty pants, and you can also get a free chapter on our websites. If you check out our website. You can download a free chapter and check it out. Very low commitment but either way, Christine just so awesome to hear this stuff and I hope everyone had a great great time listening to our conversation about what be cushions

Christine Meyer 

Thanks, Nick for having me.

Nik Tarascio 

Take care. Thank you for listening to the dream beyond. I hope that you receive whatever message or inspiration you were meant to get from today's episode.

I had a great time recording it for you.

Nik Tarascio 

If you love the show, please take 30 seconds to subscribe rate and review it that really helps get the word out. And if you want to connect with me, you can find me at

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YouTube

[insomniac-jay]

Further progress

"Hello, ladies, and thank you all for coming."

A group of women exchanged "Hello"s either taking or adjusting their seats. Most of them were older, a few young faces in the crowd. One could tell a bit of their personalities just from looking at the choices in decor.

The people, all from different parts of the country, gathered in front of their computers for one purpose: a common type of spouse.

"Welcome to the group, everyone," a small, round woman with dark brown skin and short black hair spoke. Dressed in a silky robe lined with fur, it was easily to tell she was relaxing after a long day at work. "My name is Christine. I'm the founder of this group."

Some of the others waved at her while others said hellos. The positive reception pleased Christine.

"Welcome to initiation day. The point of this is basically to introduce ourselves, talk about what we do for a living, maybe a little bit about ourselves then introduce costumed criminal we're married to."

Simple enough. These people were just getting to know each other, after all. Making a good first impression was highly encouraged to most, critical to some.

"I'll go first. My name is Christine Chapel. I work as a cabaret performer under the name Belle Holiday, my favorite gemstones are amethysts and pearls, and my husband is the Music Meister."

Another woman with copper brown skin and the same jet black hair spoke next. "I'm Brandice Bivolo. I'm an elementary school teacher and my husband is the Rainbow Raider. A few of my hobbies are metalworking, playing instruments, and calligraphy."

Both her style and the background behind her could easily be described as bohemian, hipster. With all the crystal necklaces and bright, earthy colors of her clothes, it wasn't hard to see why someone like him fell for her.

The other members took turns introducing themselves. A notable face was Marina Lulit, a prominent Floridian socialite and wife of one K'an of Tenochtitlan. If what she said about him being the ruler of an underwater kingdom was true, she probably had lots of stories to tell.

Eve, an older Black woman from the Deep South, was the wife of Hollow, phantom of the railroads. Christine was a big fan of the ostrich feather lamp behind her; and of the overall vibes of her room in general. She must've had some truly wild stories--probably even moreso than her own with Music Meister.

Who could forget the ever gracious Mona Lisa Beauvais, now known as Mona Lisa Nygma. It was for the better she be in this group since her husband was still in Arkham. Her room was another's Christine admired with a mix of old Hollywood and urban aesthetics.

Christine clapped her hands together. "Now that that's done, I'm gonna cut to the chase. This is a support group for all women and femmes who are either married or engaged to villians."

"Let's go over a few ground rules. First, when I say all women and femmes, I mean it. I will not tolerate any bullshit. Second, no child murderers or rapists. Made that very clear in the rules on Facebook. Lastly, be respectful about each other's tastes. We already deal with enough shaming from the media."

The other members nodded along in agreement, some even mumbling their support of Christine's ground rules.

"Anymore questions?" Christine looked around.

"When do we meet?" Brandice asked.

"We meet every Wednesday," Christine replied. "Make sure to let me know if you can't make it to a meeting ahead of time."

"What are we gonna do in this group?" Marina asked. "I mean, I know this ain't a club but we gotta do something fun every ."

She's right, Christine said to herself. No one would want to spend the whole time moping and telling stories. "I do plan on having some events including a girls trip. Nothing concrete yet, of course."

WIP Time

Villain's Wife Support Group

Chapter 1: Initiation

"Hello, ladies, and thank you all for coming."

A group of women exchanged "Hello"s either taking or adjusting their seats. Most of them were older, a few young faces in the crowd. One could tell a bit of their personalities just from looking at the choices in decor.

The women, all from different parts of the country, gathered in front of their computers for one purpose: a common type of spouse.

"Welcome to the group, everyone," a small, round woman with dark brown skin and short black hair spoke. "My name is Christine. I'm the founder and this is initiation day which is basically where we introduce ourselves, talk about what we do, then introduce costumed criminal we're married to."

"I'll go first. My name is Christine Chapel. I work as a cabaret performer under the name Belle Holiday, and my husband is the Music Meister."

Another woman with copper brown skin and the same jet black hair spoke next. "I'm Brandice Bivolo. I'm an elementary school teacher and my husband is the Rainbow Raider." Her style could easily be described as bohemian, hipster; with all the crystal necklaces and bright, earthy colors of her clothes. It wasn't hard to see why someone like him fell for her.

The other members took turns introducing themselves. More notable faces were Marina Lulit, wife of one K'an of Tenochtitlan. If what she said about her husband being the ruler of an underwater kingdom was true, she probably had lots of stories to tell.

@mayameanderings @calciumcryptid @floof-ghostie

[mischiefmanaged71]

The Love Hypothesis (14/22) - Stephen Strange

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is a PhD student who wants to prove to her best friend that she has moved on and dating. With no way to prove it, she kisses the first man she sees, which ends up being none other than Dr. Strange, known as one of the most unapproachable and critical professors in the university.

A/N: AU! Stephen Strange is a Professor/Doctor at Columbia University and reader is a Ph.D. student (Reader - 28, Stephen - 34). Credits to Ali Hazelwood for the original story. This work is a piece of fiction. I have no ownership over anything, this is ff.

Pairing: Stephen Strange X FEM! Reader

Word Count: 1.3K

Series Masterlist

Stephen left early that morning before she was woke up. Probably for another meeting with the rest of the conference board. She refrained from messaging him, tucking her phone into her pocket.

“Oh, hey. Y/N.” Hayden smiled at her, leaning against the open door.

“Hi, Hayden.” she had just finished getting dressed when he knocked. “If you’re looking for Stephen, he left about an hour ago.”

“Oh, I know that. Got his schedule memorised.” he tapped his temple, “I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee?”

“Sure.” she nodded, walking with him. Thoughts of last night were rushing through her mind, still fresh with the press of Stephen’s hands over her jawline. His warm hands-

She shook her head, turning to Hayden, “Say-what else did Stephen say about that ‘amazing girl’?”

Hayden laughed, “Fishing for gossip about yourself? I won’t tell you all his secrets, although, I wouldn’t mind seeing the steam blow from his ears.”

“Seriously, he would probably murder me, if I did, though.” he glanced over at her with raised eyebrows, “Besides what I told you earlier, he only mentioned that he really clicked with someone and he was sure of it.”

She nodded, “That’s all?”

“Yeah. You know Stephen. He holds his feelings quite close. Opening up to people, it’s-not the easiest for him.”

The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled her nose as she closed her eyes and they stood at the end of the line. “I know the feeling.”

“He’s really one of the most understanding people I know. That, you can trust.” Hayden replied, shoving his hands in his pockets before they both ordered their coffees and found a table to sit at. “So...is there a reason I’m being prodded?”

She sighed, “I-I’m just worried about him. Got a lot on my mind recently.”

“And does this have anything to do with that night?” he glanced at her, his blonde curls neatly piled on his head.

“No.” she quickly glanced away, “It doesn’t.”

But from Hayden’s pointed look, he didn’t believe her.

“It has nothing to do with that. I’m-am I allowed to be curious?”

A voice broke his attention as someone called his name from the side. A brunette with blue eyes walked up to their table and Y/N glanced at her as she smiled and hugged Hayden.

“It’s so good to see you. How are you?”

“I’m great, Christine. You?”

“Good. Were you at the social yesterday? I must’ve missed you.” 

“I was too busy knocking back drinks, I probably didn’t recognise you.” he laughed, gesturing to Y/N, “This is Y/N, Stephen’s girlfriend.”

“Y/N, Christine.”

They exchanged a kind smile, “Hi, nice meeting you.” 

“And you.” Y/N beamed.

“I was at your talk. You did a really good job.” 

Y/N looked at her in surprise, “Thank you.”

“She worked really hard on it. And she blew them out of the water.” Hayden said.

Y/N’s brows furrowed, “You weren’t there, how would you know?” 

“I heard from people.” he quickly replied.

She shook her head with a laugh, Christine chuckling too before she clasped her hands. “Well, I’ve gotta jet. I’m with some friends. It was nice seeing you, Hayden and meeting you, Y/N.” 

They greeted her as she left, smiling along until they looked back at each other. Hayden’s face settled into something akin to discomfort.

“From the look on your face, I have a feeling there’s something you want to say.”

“That was Stephen’s ex.”

Her eyes peeled up from the table, her heart plunging into her stomach. 

Hayden shook his head, leaning forward at her silence, “It wasn’t exactly ever official-and it ended like four years ago.”

Her eyebrows perked up, but she forced her face into indifference, shaking her head. “It’s fine. Stephen’s past relationships are just that. Past.”

“Right.” he eyed the twitch of her clenched jaw, “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” she replied.

“You say that, but I don’t believe you. I’m best friends with Stephen, and you know how he is, so I’m kind of an expert on the ‘fine’ genre of replies.”

She sighed, “Why does no one believe me?”

“Maybe they’re just concerned.”

“And maybe there is nothing to be concerned about.”

“Yes, but how would they know?”

She fell silent, allowing him to continue.

“Look,” he placed his hands on the table, “Whatever is bothering you, maybe it would help if you talked about it? It doesn’t have to be with me. Have you tried talking with Stephen about it? It obviously concerns him.”

She flashed her head up, “What makes you think its about him?”

“That reaction.” he pointed at her, noticing the tension in her face at the mention of his name. “Talk to him.”

“Or don’t.” he finished, standing to grab their coffee.

***

Replaying it over in her mind didn’t change the fact that Y/N was possibly struggling with the worst, most convoluted problem of her life. Sure, graduate school was hard and stressful, almost impossible to be on top of. But here she was. Laying on the bed back at her room, she tossed her legs over to get comfortable, eyes falling in sight of the other bed across. She halted, staring at it longingly and the scent of his cologne still crisp within the air. 

She sighed, flopping onto her back and grabbing her phone.

I need to talk to you, but I know you’re busy so this will have to do. 

There are so many things I want to say to you, Stephen, but the timing never seemed right and there are so many things telling me not to. The fact this is a fake relationship; your grant; me moving to Boston. I felt it wasn’t fair to you or I if I said anything. Should I have said anything and changed this whole arrangement. 

I have feelings for you. That I know to be true. I don’t know if it’s love, but I can’t stop thinking about you and you make my heart pound so much I can’t think straight.

I don’t have to understand every part of you, but I want to. I want to be there for you through everything and it makes me sad that I won’t be able to watch you become even greater than you already are. You inspire me, Stephen, to try and be better, even if I don’t believe in myself sometimes. There are some times that I wonder if you understand how good you are. You are kind and caring when it comes down to it. The people who truly get to know you are privileged.

I hope you find someone that loves you even more than I do, because you deserve to be happy. I wish that you could understand how much you have changed my life. And I hope you find everything you’re looking for in life.

Even if its not with me.

She saved the message in her notes, tossing the phone away. Writing your feelings done was probably easier than saying it. Hayden was right about one thing. A few stray tears fell from her face as she breathed in and out deeply, crossing her hands over her chest. A solemn feeling washed over her as she finally felt a sense of catharsis bleed through. And yet, still holding onto the wrenching fear from the other day carried a heavy toll on her heart as she curled up on the bed, hoping for nothing but the comfort of Stephen’s presence.

TAGS

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[leverage-commentary]

Leverage Season 2, Episode 11, The Bottle Job, Audio Commentary Transcript

Johnathan: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Johnathan Frakes.

John: He’s the Director of this episode. My name is John Rogers, Executive Producer.

Christine: My name is Christine Boylan, I'm the writer on this episode.

John: Drinking left to right you have a screwdriver- a screwdriver, which is just a fistful of vodka with an orange in it.

[Laughter]

Johnathan: It qualifies as a screwdriver! Look where we are, we’re at a wake!

John: I've got a Guinness, and Boylan’s having a little baby Guinness. Boylan what is a bottle show?

Christine: A bottle show is a show that tries to save a lot of money by shooting on standing sets. And not adding too many bells and whistles that can get expensive.

John: Not very easy on a con show, but we managed to pull it off, and by far, this is one of my favorite episodes of the two years. Nicely done, both of you.

Johnathan: And the irony of this being a bottle show about a bottle is not lost-

John: Yeah it's- the puns were running thick and furious because we wrote it in 72 hours. Love this- now this is actually a room in the bar we have not seen before.

Christine: Yes, this is the back room.

John: The back room we built. And it was a great little idea. It's an Irish bar, it's an Irish wake, we built the con up from there.

Christine: Creepy storage area.

Johnathan: Oh Alan Smyth, the wonderful and talented-

John: Mr. Frakes, why don't you tell us about this villain? Cause this is a really interesting- it's an  interesting reveal, interesting villain. It's not our usual type of guy. How'd you approach this?

Johnathan: Delightful guy, this guy’s been sent to Boston by his father from Dublin to check on his family's money, and how things are going. Decides to take things into his own hand, doesn’t know he’s gonna run into the Leverage team. He thinks he can muscle this poor girl at her own wake- her father's wake and-

John: Yeah, boy that's an asshole. We hate that guy.

Christine: I hate this guy.

John: This guy totally passes the ‘we hate that guy’. Now I'm gonna ask where this scene can run a bunch of different ways. It can run really creepy, it can run kind of light. Like, how do you design this when you're gonna shoot this?

Johnathan: This was as simple and clean as it can be. Here’s a set up, here's the teaser: he wants the money, you see where they are, we have the like this chick, which I think we do. This is Odessa Rae.

John: Yeah, she was fantastic for a character.

Christine: Lovely girl.

Johnathan: And a real redhead, clearly. 

John: And it's really- we really kinda dig in on the Boson heritage in this one.

Christine: Yes, and it was important that she fight back, to me, that was a big one, just take that swing.

John: She didn't want to be a schlub. And Liam and Liam’s brother is my favorite bit. How did- Boylan, how did you wind up with the money borrowing aspect of this?

Christine: The money borrowing- I had watched a really fantastic documentary by...oh god, what's his name?

John: The Ascent of Money?

Christine: The Ascent of Money, Niall Ferguson, yes. The Ascent of Money talked about how loan sharks are alive and well all over the UK and in certain pockets of the US, allegedly. So I thought well let's do that, let’s take a little- let’s take the loan sharking and move it over. And also talk about the grand tradition of bookmaking as well, so we have all kinds of neighborhood cottage industries.

John: Yeah, and this is where we really dig into- this was important to do in the second half of the season, because we're really set-

Johnathan: We see every inch of this bar.

[Laughter]

Christine: Yes we do.

John: We see every inch of this bar. You shot the hell out of this, man.

Johnathan: Here's a standing set, and snow! Check out those windows. That's what makes you think you're outside.

John: And by the way, this was the hottest week in Portland on record.

Johnathan: Unbelievable.

Christine: 107 degrees.

John: 107 degrees.

Johnathan: Everybody in layers.

John: This is our Life on Mars flashback. 

Johnathan: There we go.

Christine: Jimmy Ford.

John: This is Jimmy Ford and young Nate. And this was interesting, this was- we really need to establish just how close Nate Ford was to a criminal life, for us to do the season finale. 

Christine: Yup.

John: And it was interesting for a show that really came out and just came out of the ether, you came back from shooting another episode with this idea, this actually wound up doing an awful lot of work for us for the season.

Christine: I really like to dig in on Nate, his backstory, his troubles, because he's a wonderful shade of gray for us, so I was-

Johnathan: This also the beginning of his fall off the wagon.

John: Absolutely.

Christine: Yes, oh yeah. A nice swan dive off the wagon, actually.

[Laughter] 

Christine: With a graceful landing. I was up doing episode eight, The Ice Man Job, and I thought, you know, in between takes you’re sitting there, you're thinking how do- the challenge was, how do you do a bottle show? And I really wanted to do The Wire and we haven't been able to do the wire yet, so- 

John: The wire is the classic con in the opening of this episode, where using a delay in sports knowledge, you're able to con somebody. It's the big con in The Sting.

Christine: Yes.

John: It is the big con that everyone uses when they are ripping off The Sting, and they're not telling you. And so we actually made a point of making it text that we’re doing the wire and we’re doing it in this amount of time.

Johnathan: And you can't do it in less than 4 weeks, or 2 weeks.

John: No, no it's a long con.

Christine: A lot of preparation.

Johnathan: It's a long con and we do it in-

John: Yeah. This was the fun of this episode was basically taking everything that was possible-

Johnathan: We do it in 17 minutes.

John: The fun of this episode was taking everything that is impossible in a con and heist show, and making it text that's impossible for the team to do.

Christine: It’s super meta because the Leverage team does what we did, which is do this really, really quickly.

John: Yeah. Really, really quickly. We broke and wrote this episode in 72 hours.

Christine: Yup, I flew up here right before my birthday. 107 degrees at the end of July, and we had a blast. We had a really great time.

Johnathan: Liam and Liam's brother.

John: It was also good to kind of nail down Nate’s- why Nate chose this bar, why Nate- and we kinda touched on it, but the idea that he's got some sort of family history. And it was a big deal too, when we were talking about this bar. Tim Hutton as they were building the set talked about the bar that his dad used to drink in, in Boston. And talked about, like, remembering the pictures of the Irish rebels up in the men's room, and a lot of that stuff we used when we were designing the bar.

Johnathan: Tim Hutton himself owns a bar.

John: Tim Hutton himself owns a bar in New York, that's right. 

Christine: He does indeed.

John: And this is our classic vic scene, just a little bit later.

Christine: Yeah, she gave an amazing performance here, every take. Do you remember that? Unbelievable.

Johnathan: Fascinating girl, too; very interesting girl and a wonderful actress.

Christine: Yeah, truly a riot.

John: And you shot the hell out of the apartment. The apartment looks nice in this light. Actually, this was the one that made me want to shoot the apartment in this light on a regular basis.

Johnathan: Well this was Connell saying, if this is night and we can- if we can play the snow, we’ll turn the shutters down a little bit so we can see the snow. It’s- it feels like there's a fire lighting in here.

John: Yeah, it actually affected the way we shot a couple of the following episodes, because in the day, this- the great light wood gives you a lot of space, but it can feel a little too airy. This really made sections of the apartment look intimate.

Christine: The warmth is great.

Johnathan: Yeah, but also I think all of us have learned by this time if we isolate a section - like if we play a scene in the kitchen, it works, but keep everybody up in the kitchen. If you're gonna go down to the television room, we've gotta play that. Once we spread everybody out, you can't make your day.

John: Well Marc Roskin did something interesting in 213 where he used Nate as the hinge to follow people as they entered. But what he did was basically broke it up into mini scenes of that, as Nates starts the TV he's talking to Hardison, comes up at Jeri on the table, and then Parker and Eliot arrive, like on the fly, to land the move.

Christine: That's great.

John: But that- it’s the only time we've really pulled it off really, really well.

Christine: I will say that we did use the staircase a lot in this episode as well.

[Laughter]

Christine: A lot of running up and down the stairs.

John: A lot of running up and down the stairs.

Johnathan: There happens to be an interior staircase in the building that is very convenient for us.

Christine: Yes.

John: Yeah. And that was a great design idea, actually. I remember when we originally stuck that in there, like, we don't know when we’re gonna use it or how, but it's always good to have some circular stairs. No, this is a lot of- this is a lot of fun.

Johnathan: Are you talking about the staircase we see? I was talking about the staircase we feel.

[Laughter]

Christine: Oh.

Johnathan: Between the bar and the bar is literally downstairs in the building.

John: Oh of course, upstairs. That was a big deal was trying to figure out the geography of, like, how this bar’s connected to upstairs. 

Christine: Oh here we go.

John: This is my favorite- damn.

Johnathan: And give it to- props to Jeri Ryan, unafraid to play it, fully committed.

John: And then-

Johnathan: Takes the shooter, goes to work.

John: ‘My name’s Trish and I'm lonely.’

Christine: ‘I’m Trish and I’m lonely.’

Johnathan: And I get the girls up and out and here we go.

John: Yeah. She-

Christine: We were all distracted by the way Jeri looked this entire episode.

John: I love Jeri for doing that. I love Jeri for doing that. 

Johnathan: She was comfortable with it, embraced it, knows what she was there to play.

John: And it was- also says something about the character which is - you have given her precisely this much information; she is in a bar, she knows exactly how to run this con.

Johnathan: ‘Let me run with it, I got it, I got this one.’

Christine: What a gift the chemistry between Jeri and Alan was here. Fantastic.

John: Yeah, it's hard work flirting with Jeri Ryan. It’s all uphill.

Christine: Oh his days were terrible. 

Johnathan: Poor thing.

Christine: He had the worst job ever.

John: I love also- again, we try to differentiate between the jobs everyone has. Parker always does the lift. You know, Chris can do a drop if he needs to - Eliot can do a drop, but you have to make sure when you've got a five-hander, everyone’s got their jobs.

Christine: I like the lifts in this one; we see some of them, and some of them are magic tricks. So it works out well.

John: And now we’re using the phone to scan which is something that you can do. They actually just created a food scanner for the iPhone.

Christine: Really?

Johnathan: A food scanner?

John: You take the iPhone, you run it over the UPC symbol on the outside of food, and all the nutritional information comes up - the calories, that sort of thing.

Christine: As if I'm not neurotic enough. I totally need that app. Yeah, that’s great.

John: There you go. Also I love the choice- and again, it was a virtue of us writing this really fast, and also wanting to do a bottle show which is so constrained, which is - he's just going to tell her he's a loan shark. We’re just gonna- we’re gonna try to take all the pipe, all the stuff you usually try to hide, and sell it. 

Christine: He owns it.

Johnathan: Lay it out there, put it into the scene in act one.

Christine: There's something great about putting it forward like that.

John: It just moves. It just flies. And also, whenever you can give Hardison a recurring series of impossible tasks, it is inherently amusing.

Christine: Aldis is adorable in this.

Johnathan: Especially in a limited amount of time.

John: Well that's really what we've talked about on a couple of the commentaries; when you have the super team, it gets really, really hard to constantly challenge them. So it got more and more - how do we constrain them in time and space? And this is the ultimate example. You know, this episode runs essentially in real time.

Johnathan: It is; it plays in real time.

[Silence]

John: That's me drinking, pardon.

[Laughter]

Christine: A lift.

John: A little lift.

Christine: Lift and replacement.

Johnathan: That was the replace. Yeah, the great chemistry between these two actors.

Christine: Alan’s worst day ever.

[Laughter]

Johnathan: All day. All day with Jeri.

Christine: All day.

John: Sitting at a bar. 

Johnathan: Sitting at a bar.

Christine: Could be worse.

John: It's interesting because we had episodes with bigger Tara Cole roles; this is actually my favorite one of the Tara- of Jeri doing Tara. Because you- this is one of the few times we cut her loose and let her do what she's supposed to do and really put her insolation.

Christine: And she’s really fearless, just fearless, which is great.

Johnathan: She’s a pro, pro from Dover and-

Christine: Seriously.

John: What does that mean?

Johnathan: She knows this character-

John: I'm disturbed. I like, by the way, the bar thing of like, ‘Yeah, we’ll miss our flight.’ They look over, it’s Jeri Ryan, ‘Yeah, ok. We’ll blow it off.’

Christine: Yeah, seriously.

Johnathan: ‘Ooh, ooh!’

Christine: Because this guy, not only is he gonna own it, he’s gonna brag about it.

John: What I love is we actually had a discussion in the room, for some people who didn't use to drink professionally, about the viability of some of the gambling and the money and everything in a bar. And I was like, I was a stand up comic-

Johnathan: That would never happen.

John: I was a stand up comic in a mob bar for a long time. Trust me - this was a Tuesday night. 

Johnathan: This happens.

John: Yeah. I saw 20-30 grand go away at the bar several times on sporting events; just poorly thought out ideas. And this was a challenge for you, by the way, you were establishing geography that didn't exist. 

Johnathan: Well that's what we just did by going out the back door. We all bought- we all drank the kool aid and said there will be a back staircase, otherwise this story’s gonna be dull as dirt. 

Christine: Yeah, there’s gotta be-

Johnathan: Trying to get in and out the front door.

John: It's kind of Noises Off. 

Christine: Yeah.

John: Yeah, we're kinda doing-

Christine: Everything I write is a little stagey.

John: Everything you write is a little stagey.

Christine: A little farce-y.

Johnathan: Here's more of our traditional 360, well used.

Christine: This is beautiful here, yeah.

Johnathan: Standing them up. Keep them standing. Always good advice.

John: The actors?

Johnathan: Yeah.

John: The actors’ energy is part of the energy, right, yeah.

Christine: Yeah this- I just got a thrill off of this, watching this being shot. 

John: It's also- it’s fun because it was one of the purest versions. Again, because we’re in so fast of Nate Ford like ‘I am a genius. I am playing chess. I am playing speed chess.’

Christine: Yeah, right.

Johnathan: This is a great bit coming up this is- we come off this and we go back to Christian with the dart. He kept saying to me, ‘No, no, Frakes, I can do this; I can actually throw it.’ I said, ‘No no, you don’t understand Christain, it has to look like magic.’ ‘No, give me half an hour and I’ll make some- I'll make some bullseyes for you.’ I said, ‘No, no, no, I can do it as a special effect. It’s gonna look great; you're gonna look cool.’ I fought with him and fought with him. He said, ‘No, let me just look.’ I said, ‘The point is you don't look! You dont look when the dart goes in the wall!’

[Laughter]

Christine: Christians tough, because he's good at everything. 

John: Well that's the trick. There’s- in a previous episode he jacks the slight on a gun and without looking catches the shell in midair as he’s doing dialogue. And it’s like- it’s hard to say no to him when he really wants to dig in in something, but yeah. This is also- I love- this is pure- this is pure threesome goodness. The kids are upstairs ripping apart dad’s apartment. 

Christine: Triangles.

Johnathan: It also tees up the ending which is great.

Christine: And this- I, you know, this is for the fans.

John: The idea that they have utterly co-opted-

Johnathan: Nate’s house? Yeah.

John: His house, yes.

Christine: Oh, the cereal boxes.

Johnathan: They’ve all got stashed money.

John: And this, by the way, is a callback, this is why Parker’s always eating cereal; she's planting money in there on a regular basis and hiding it. 

Christine: I think she likes the sugar as well.

John: She likes the sugar.

Johnathan: For anyone who’s watching closely.

John: And of course we finally solve the mystery of the picture.

[Laughter]

Christine: Her look right there is great.

Johnathan: ‘Are you kidding me?’

John: I love the idea that she- for once, cause we often play Hardison as the kind of emotional one, and for once we remind everyone, no he's a thief. Yeah. This is just his gig. He will even upset Parker, occasionally.

Johnathan: Woo he got down there fast, didn't he?

Christine: Oh yeah, that staircase is magical. Well he's very fit; he’s taking them three at a time.

John: Here's the thing: I don't think Eliot took the staircase; I'm thinking Eliot probably just went out the window.

Johnathan: He jumped.

Christine: He just jumped.

John: Went out the window, landed in the snow bank. I think that's probably the best way to play that particular transition.

[Laughter]

John: We don't- who cares about transitions? America is not sitting on their couch- 

Johnathan: Great extras, look at these-

Christine: Look at these extras, they’re killing me.

John: Look at these extras. They’re great. This was a really- you know, it's tricky because we usually shoot the-

Johnathan: Comedy. Sight gags.

John: Big comedy. I'm not afraid of the comedy. You know what? No one has ever stopped watching a TV show because it made them laugh.

Christine: Look at all these wires.

John: Yup, you have no idea what they're doing. 

Christine: Comedy wires.

John: By the way, that's roughly what the inside of my wall looks like; that's actually not bad.

[Laughter]

John: I like that you had him play the whole way through with the helmet, by the way.

Johnathan: Yeah keep the helmet- once you got the helmet-

John: But we actually- 

Johnathan: How about the amount of wires? Come on, I’ve seen The Three Stooges!

[Laughter]

John: It’s perfect, there's nothing like a pulling wire gag.

Christine: Look at all the ends, that's great.

John: It was interesting, breaking this up we eventually wound up in little strike teams like, ‘OK, you figure out how the wire works; you'll figure out how the Tivo- this part of the Tivo delivery system works; you'll figure out what the crime scene is.’ Yeah. 

Johnathan: Was this the writers room?

John: Yeah, this was basically, everyone got a piece of the script, come back in a day and tell me how it works.

Christine: We’re our own super team.

Johnathan: And you know what? It's one of the great things about this episode is the train leaves the station and there is no- there’s not much room for coming back and expositioning. 

Christine: It's the express train.

John: I love when he-

Johnathan: It is the express train.

John: And that's the idea is, again- and this could've been a nice passing episode, the ability to set up everything in this. This might be the most important episode before the finale, because you really see who this guy is.

Johnathan: It's also nice to see this guy go toe-to-toe with Tim.

Christian: Yeah.

John: Yeah, it’s was like with Riegert with 210; it's great when you get an actor who's not intimidated by Tim, because Tim, you know, he's a very gifted actor. He's very famous and-

Johnathan: Yeah, he's fabulous. And this guy could carry a show and he was so happy to be here.

John: Yeah.

Johnathan: And Tim liked him, and it worked out and it was a-

Christine: They had a great time.

Johnathan: It was a win, win, win.

Christine: They had a great time, we had a great time.

John: No, this was actually born from the fact that in an old apartment building I was in, people used to pirate off the main satellite feed.

Christine: Like you do.

Johnathan: Yeah.

John: So- as one does. The idea is you do it backwards.

Johnathan: As you do. We'd never do that in college.

John: No, no. Of course not.

Christine: Never.

John: Well satellite, I mean, back when we were in college were those giant sputnik things that we used to battle the Russians in space. 

[Laughter]

Johnathan: This is meant to be the Celtics, but what are- we found footage from the Canadian-

John: The Canadian basketball-

Christine: We went back and forth, we made up names.

John: You do not want to buy the rights from the NBA; it is very, very, expensive.

Christine: And that's not the point. The point is the betting.

John: The point is the betting.

Christine: The point is the characters. 

John: Exactly, is the idea. And the only thing I'm kinda sad is, we run at 42 minutes and 30 seconds. There's an awful lot of stuff you would love to do, you just don't have time for. We had a great bit that we researched about the neuroscience of gambling, and how you can create-

Christine: Oh yes.

John: Remember? You can create feedback cycles with addictive behavior that- it’s very specific intervals of winning that hooks an addict in, in a way that they can't escape. And we were going to use that at the bar and it just, it just- 

Johnathan: There was no room.

Christine: It's like the random praise you give the writers.

John: Yes, it's like the random- the writers- writers were distressed-

Johnathan: Boom.

Christine: Oh, look at that.

John: Yes, the writers were distressed to find out that I was using neuroscience on them. It turns out that you should never praise constantly or never, you should praise randomly.

Christine: Praise randomly.

Johnathan: There are not many physicists that are showrunners.

Christine: It’s true, it’s true.

John: I was explaining the random praise thing to them one day, and suddenly they realized ‘...wait that's what you do.’ ‘Well yeah, it's how you train a rat, so why wouldn't it be how you train a writer? 

[Laughter]

John: And it’s great- also the big challenge in the episode to keep the vic alive, to keep it emotionally anchored, and because we’re where she works, we can cut to her a lot and- 

Johnathan: We can cut to her a lot, and we put her in a lot of scenes that she wasn't originally in.

Christine: Yeah, just having her around.

John: It really just worked out. Cause you had her there, and you had the writer on set, makes a big difference.

Christine: So this is Brad Farwell and George Burich as Liam and Liam's brother, and George-

Johnathan: Not bad Irish accents for a couple of guys from the great northwest.

Christine: Pretty good. And I just had a drink with George in New York last week and he said, ‘Mention the toothpick! Don't forget to mention the toothpick.’

John: It's nice; it's a nice touch.

Christine: He's in love with that prop; adorable.

John: I remember how Liam's brother- Liam and Liam's brother was born, because we actually were trying to think of a name; it just hung in the room so long we were like, ‘Oh wait, that's the joke. This is Liam and Liam's brother.’

Christine: ‘That’s totally it.’

Johnathan: Worked on [unintelligible] for three years.

John: And beat, beat, beat. There you go.

[Laughter]

Johnathan: Eric Bates, our prop man, said, ‘Frakes, should I get out the good money for this show?’ I said yeah.

Christine: The good, good money.

John: There's gonna be a lot of close ups.

Johnathan: He's got two qualities of money. Yeah I said, ‘Tonight would be a night for the good money.’

John: We’re a heist show. We have an awful lot of briefcases of money, and sometimes you just need the tops and sometimes you need to count it, yeah. 

Christine: A lot of cash.

John: And this was a nice beat and Tim really didn’t over play this. He really did a great job.

Christine: It's very subtle this episode.

John: He was really great and subtle.

Johnathan: Well, he's comfortable in a bar. 

John: Yeah and-

Johnathan: And I think a lot of us are, and I think that's one of the reasons-

Christine: I don't know what you're talking about.

Johnathan: Well, I mean, you can tell people who spend time in there. Even the shooters behind the camera, everybody was comfortable in there, everybody knew the way it should look, everybody knew the dynamic, everybody knew what the stuff would be like. I mean, there's something about being in a familiar place with a crew that makes you move faster and move with it as a team.

John: And also we've lived in this set a bit more. We set decked a little bit more, and again, it was like usually we meet the clients during the day, and looking at this was like, we should be there at night all the time.

Christine: Yeah, it's gorgeous.

Johnathan: There's a lot to be said for night.

John: Night is cheap rain. Or rain is cheap night. I can never keep that straight.

[Laughter]

John: More great work by Derek, our visual effects guy. There's- it's really hard we do a life of computer gackery and it's really hard to make sure people understand.

Johnathan: Are we gonna go over the split screen again on the TV?

John: I don't know. No, no we're not gonna split-screen.

Johnathan: The big screen is- I've been watching a lot of these NCIS things-

John: The big screen, I think we're gonna go the big screen next year. 

Johnathan: That, I think, is the difference.

John: You know what? We just didn't have the tech. 

Johnathan: Yeah I know, that's what I'm saying. That’s what I’m saying, we do now. 

John: Yeah this was really- although it worked well for this, because it's one of the few times we pop up a bunch of different windows.

Christine: They're multitasking almost.

John: I think next year we’re gonna- and again there's an awful lot of stuff we’re kind of inventing on the fly. Yeah.

Christine: The hell you say?

[Laughter]

Johnathan: It’s a TV show.

John: Yeah, it's like shooting a movie in 7 days, or 6 ½ occasionally.

Christine: 6 ½ in 107 degrees.

Johnathan: Don’t bring it up; don’t rub it in.

John: Now when you get two actors like this, you know, what's your job as a director? You go in, do you have a specific ‘I want to end this scene here’? Do you give them guidelines? Do you shoot-? What's your approach?

Johnathan: Well these guys both decided with our permission, your permission, that, you know, they would adlib. Here’s what needs to happen in the scene. If you have two good actors and you have the intention of the scene clear and you're at a bar and they're having a drink, and they're gambling, and they're watching, it’s safe.

Christine: It's nice to have actors who care about the rhythm of the dialogue. How it's said is as important as what's being said, and they will work with me every- the regular cast and the guest stars were happy to like grab me at any time. ‘Rewrite this. Can I say this? Can we do it that way?’ I love that.

John: Yeah, I know.

Christine: Woo, there's a lot of grabbing going on; very grabby.

John: Yeah we’re setting up Boylan; she's pretty open to it without all those lawyers getting involved.

[Laughter]

John: But here's the thing, there's a lot of showrunners, and a lot of writers, and everything it's like ‘say the words, say the words, say the words.’ And you know what? At the end of the day it's a television show with actors and it's gotta-

Johnathan: It's really- in the defense of both sides, you really have to use it judiciously.

John: Yes.

Johnathan: I think that you have to know- Timothy Hutton can adlib. Alan Smith, I'd done four shows with, I knew he could. But you don't want to turn everybody loose, because everybody thinks they're funny, and only some people are.

Christine: Exactly.

John: You have to be open to it.

Johnathan: You have to be open to it enough to judiciously use whats good and what's-

John: And just not- and I'm just saying, I'm not one of those writers where it's like, you know what? If you wind up with the better rhythm, the better line, that's what matters. Because TV is radio with pictures. 

Christine: Absolutely.

John: You know, people listen to voices, people listen- they got their heads down, they're reading while they're listening to TV, you know, that's what drives television. It's nice when television is well shot, but well-spoken television works just as well.

Christine: Oh for me it works better.

Johnathan: They remember what happened.

John: Yes. It'd be nice if every now and then you thought about the fact that actors have to deliver your lines.

Christine: They love it.

John: Yes, they adore you.

Christine: I do think a good section of the writing process occurs on set, honestly. And it's something that I was lucky to learn in rehearsals doing theater: it’s gonna change every day and that's ok. Everybody’s gonna roll with it, it's gonna get better, and it has to be easy to say; it has to be easy for the audience to process and remember.

Johnathan: And also each character speaks differently. That's what happened in the second season in this show, is the characters have found their voices, the writers have found the characters’ voices-

John: Honestly we got lucky. They found their voices early, early, first season. They all had found their rhythms. Because we tend to pair them, and you tend to- and that's what happens is they find the rhythms of each other. That moment of celebration from Hardison is not just him, it's us for having pulled off the wire. Doing a con that most shows take an entire episode to do- 

Johnathan: We do it in less than half.

John: And labor the freaking point about it. That's right, in Leverage you get 3 or 4 episodes of television per episode. 

[Laughter]

John: And we've won, at this point- and again, this is a hook on Nate’s illness this year. At this point he should walk away.

Christine: Absolutely.

John: There is no reason for him to do this.

Johnathan: But now it's a bigger deal.

John: And it's not just justice, it’s obsession, you know, and it’s vengeance, and it’s control and it's- you know, he's starting to see himself as his father.

Johnathan: And it’s alcohol.

John: It’s alcohol.

Christine: Is it hubris or moxie?

John: Well what the alcohol has done is kind of- hubris or moxie. As we say in the writers room all the time.

Christine: That’s it; it’s very important.

John: Is it hubris or moxie? And with him it’s hubris. 

Christine: Totally.

John: But we’re really- what the alcohol has done here is loosened up the reins he's had on what is a really- and what I love is Tim’s not afraid to play this is - Nate Ford is an unpleasant human being. He's condescending, he's sarcastic, he’s vengeful, he's judgmental. You know, I love the- and again Jeri- 

Johnathan: And he's not afraid of that.

Christine: No he's not.

John: Yeah, and the fact that when he sort of loosens up, a lot of other shows have ‘Oh he's loosened up, I like him more.’ When Nate Ford loosens up you actually see him see an uglier side of him. The professional thieves are much more likeable on this show than the protagonist, which is one of the reasons I think it kinda works. I love that, that is a great beat. ‘I’m claustrophobic.’

[Laughter]

Christine: Liam's brother is claustrophobic.

Johnathan: What an absurd beat.

John: Well you know what? I'd just come back from Boston, I'd driven the Ted Williams tunnel to go to Logan.

Christine: It’s awful.

John: It's awful; you're underground forever.

Christine: It’s awful.

John: It's like, alright- that's one of the advantages of knowing the city you're actually writing about. Like, you know what, there's no other way to get to the airport.

Johnathan: But it's a wonderful thing to say about a character that has virtually nothing else.

John: Nothing to say. And that actor landed that look.

Johnathan: Exactly.

Christine: That's lovely.

John: Yes, and now we're giving Hardison yet another insanely impossible thing to do.

Johnathan: And we’re taking the leap that the audience knows what a green screen can do.

Christine: Yes.

John: You know what? I think everyone does now. 

Johnathan: I think they do. 

John: It really is- it’s always interesting to try to figure out, what do people know and not know and not know? And now a little something for the ladies.

Christine: Ahem, you're welcome.

[Laughter]

Christine: This was a fun day on set.

John: Yeah I can imagine. ‘Why are all the PA’s here?’

Johnathan: He's been waiting.

John: He's been waiting for a while. Dude should not have to work out that much and not be-

Johnathan: Exactly. I said, ‘Will you take your shirt off?’ He said, ‘On camera?’ I said, ‘Yeah’. ‘Watch me.’

[Laughter]

John: As opposed to usually where you're with actors ‘Will you take your shirt off?’ ‘Alright Mr. Frakes, if you want.’

Johnathan: ‘Can you really ride that motorcycle?’ ‘I said I could!’

[Laughter]

John: Oh god! Oh this is unspeakable, oh man, this is why we drink during these! I love Parker’s little beat there of, ‘Yeah, like there’s a safe I can't pick, c’mon’. 

Christine: Seriously.

John: This is one of my favorites- and again, the second half of the season, we started pairing Eliot and Parker together.

Christine: It's a great pairing.

Johnathan: Yeah, and it changes the rhythm, but they are great together.

John: They're great together. And Chris and Beth are also getting to work together a lot and they- really whole cast really likes each other, so it was fun to watch.

Johnathan: Here's some comedy.

John: You know what, big comedy, half-dressed comedy.

Christine: Sexy comedy.

[Laughter]

Johnathan: Weatherman comedy. 

Christine: Weatherman comedy.

Johnathan: Clothes are a little small because they're Nate’s clothes. Did we get that part?

John: Yeah, I noticed that. And also the whole idea that he could be pantless, you don't know.

Christine: He could be, they don't know.

John: No, this was an enormous amount of fun. This is just really one where we kicked back and put every con trope we can into this thing. 

[Laughter]

Christine: And we got a lot of pleasure in the writers room of doing the ‘other side’ bit before it ended up in the script.

John: Other side.

Christine: ‘Seattle’. ‘Other side’

John: No this is- and again, it was a matter of controlling information. In theory, the bar- and it's tricky, cause, you know, much like earbuds have changed the way you write these shows in communication. When mobile phones start doing news better, we're gonna have to learn to write different stuff. 

Johnathan: Yeah.

John: The ubiquity of information is something that all con and heist shows- controlling information is what that depends on, and you can control information less and less and less. But again, because we were in one location, that was the benefit; it forced us to do something that makes our lives easier.

Christine: I'm a fan of putting constraints on them as much as possible.

John: Yeah. It’s- otherwise they need obstacles.

Christine: Now forget the weather, he’s gonna do whatever she tells him. Look at her, please.

John: Pretty much I think he would probably kill Liam and Liam's brother at this point.

Christine: In full view of everyone.

Johnathan: ‘I don't care if they are claustrophobic!’

John: ‘Put them in a goddamn tunnel!’ No. No it's what - we're watching this with the sound off by the way - and it’s one of my favorite bits about watching these scenes, is you can actually-

Johnathan: You remember what happened.

John: You remembered what happened, but also I like watching- without the dialogue it's easier to see the emotional moments, the choices the actors are making. You can see the swing moments in the scene. 

Christine: Oh yeah.

John: The acting- I actually enjoy it more with the sound off. Because you know what's going on here. With the sound off, you know how she’s reining him in, she's shutting him down, and then he’s pulling her in; she’s feeding his ego.

Johnathan: Look at how unafraid of her he is, which was nice.

John: That's also a big thing this year, is coming up with bad guys who were a little more physically confident, you know. It was a little too easy to have, like, old white dudes who were threatened by stuff.

Christine: See no tie. He's not wearing a tie.

John: No tie, he's not wearing a tie. We’ll have to remember that.

Christine: Leather jacket, no tie.

John: And then the stall almost works. And what I love is- Johnathan, you created an entire back to this bar between that drink room and the back room.

Johnathan: The drink room and the poker room.

John: And the magic area. There's no-

Johnathan: It’s huge back there!

John: It did not exist.

Christine: It’s so huge.

Johnathan: There's the whole first floor of that building.

John: Those sets aren't there!

[Laughter]

John: It was nicely done. And especially since you bombed in on short notice too right? Was I supposed to do this one? I was supposed to do this one.

Christine: This all came together very quickly.

Johnathan: Yeah, I think this was yours.

John: This was mine, and I wound up writing another episode, so I couldn’t direct.

Christine: What you missed the 107 degrees in Portland?

John: Yeah, I don’t know if I could’ve- there's no way in hell I could have pulled this off.

Christine: I don't think you would have made it.

John: No..

Christine: I'm just kidding.

John: No, no, no Johnathan has a lot of experience, he's really confident and really great with actors.

Johnathan: Oh please, John.

John: No this- a bottle show is the hardest show you can do on television. Period. The end. And it's the simplest looking one, they are- go find the bottle shows to your favorite television shows and watch how much they suck.

Christine: They're often audience favorites, because you get to play character-

Johnathan: They've often been sidled with flashbacks.

Christine: Oh, that’s true.

Johnathan: And pieces of other shows because they are short as well as bottled.

Christine: No clip show here.

John: No clip show here.

Christine: Just that special Life on Mars flashback to Nate's dad.

John: Nate’s brutally corrupt father.

Christine: Look at these guys.

Johnathan: Joe Ivy, Hank Cartwright, Ted Rooney. 

Christine: Fantastic. Fantastic gentleman. Lovely, hilarious.

John: And this one keeps picking up on the entrances too. This really does run in real time, doesn't it? You think- there's a time dash in act four where we do the poker game, but that's it. Now I love- these guys were great. Oh my god, these guys were great.

Johnathan: Local again.

Christine: Local?

Johnathan: God bless the Portland hires.

John: Again Portland, we thought we'd be flying up 3 or 4 actors a week, we flew up one on average.

Christine: Yup, it's that Portland, and then access to Seattle; it's two cities just full of terrific actors.

John: Now they're scheming, now they are working together. These two guys were great, they were really telling their own story back there.

Johnathan: Well it’s again, once they were cast and they started to hang together, and you hang together for a week, and you're on location together, and you're in a show. I've done this, I've been that actor; there's nothing better, there's nothing better than being number 7, 8, 9 in the call sheet.

John: You've got their moments.

Johnathan: On hold. You get your per diem. You've got your moments, you're in the family for a week, it's a great thrill.

Christine: And everybody got really close. You know, it was a heat wave, we’re all in it together, everybody’s going out for drinks, everybody hanging out afterwards. It was nice.

Johnathan: I went home and worked.

[Laughter]

John: You did. You go home every night.

Christine: I think I saw you out once or twice, Mr. Frakes.

John: You went home to prep your shot list for the next day. Of course, you're brutally devoted sir, you are brutally devoted. I like the mislead here, this actually wound up- again, we jumped through so many hoops. ‘How do we put his poker game together? Where do we find it?’ ‘Oh wait, we’ll just establish it early and use all the available resources.’

Christine: And this is where the improv-ing really came into play during the poker game, it was kind of terrific.

John: Well also because this was based on bars where I used to hang out in Montreal where the cops- cause the place-

Johnathan: The cops were in the back.

John: Well, you know, where I hung out at- Montreal, that part was controlled by the Irish mob. So, it was a lot of Irish bars, a lot of cops, a lot of Irish mob guys hanging out in the same place. 

Christine: Sort of neutral ground.

John: Yeah, exactly.

Christine: Or a neutral zone.

Johnathan: Newspaper recycling plant right here, ladies and gentlemen.

John: Don't do that.

Christine: Don't say neutral zone?

Johnathan: Right there that's all newspaper. 

John: That's all newspaper? That's cool, where'd you find this? 

Johnathan: In Portland.

John: No, I meant the-

Christine: Portland warehouse.

Johnathan: Portland warehouse. And that is a sugar, what they cut- What's it called? 

Christine: Sugar cane?

Johnathan: They used to cut cocaine with it, it’s-

Christine: Oh.

Johnathan: Baby laxative.

John: Oh wow.

Johnathan: It’s put into-

John: Now I know. How do you know- wow it's almost like you were an actor in the 80s. How do you know so much about cocaine, Johnathan?

Johnathan: I'm just telling you what I learned on the location scout, they told me all these things.

John: All these things you pick up along the way in your long career.

[Laughter]

John: Things happen. And the fact that he is- and again, interestingly, if you go back and rewatch the back six episodes, just Jeri’s role, you can actually track her coherent decision points.

Johnathan: This is a good shot. Aaand boom. 

John: And through the door.

Johnathan: We wanted to see the shots cause we know, it’s not really about the shots, it's about the story.

Christine: The shots support the story. 

John: No, no, the episodes where Dean does commentary it’s all about the shots. With you, we hammer you with a story.

Johnathan: If you see the shots there’s a problem really, isn't there?

John: If you notice a shot, that means you're not paying attention to the story. But I love that. By doing that push in, you connected that door to a room that is actually on the other soundstage.

Christine: Far away.

John: You have to walk another 150 yards.

Johnathan: Another part of the world! It’s another day!

John: This room actually sold us.

Johnathan: Look at this stage, it’s setting you up for something this season. Look at that stage.

Christine: We got- seriously I got a couple pictures from that stage.

John: I’m sure you do.

Christine: Oh baby, do I.

Johnathan: Does it involve comedy? Cause John Rogers has not made it-

John: Oh no.

Christine: It involves musical comedy.

John: Musical comedy.

Johnathan: What about stand up?

John: Yeah, well I’ve worked that room.

Johnathan: That’s what I’m saying!

[Laughter]

John: Fairly sure I’ve worked in that room.

Christine: There's a flashback episode coming up.

John: Yeah- yeah, we do the writer's flashback, the audience would love that.

Johnathan: Nothing indulgent in here.

Christine: No one wants to see that.

John: No, I don’t think I'm going to go the Steve Cannell playing poker at the table route just quite yet.

Johnathan: Castle.

John: And I say that and the man is a walking god of writing, but no I'm not gonna go there.

Johnathan: And James Patterson as well.

John: James Patterson was there, too. We actually like those show- it's interesting it’s- you know, a lot of commentaries go out of their way to not talk about other shows.

Christine: We like other shows.

John: You have to be a fan of the genre to write the genre.

Christine: Absolutely.

John: You know you have to be. Otherwise you won't know when you're crossing the streams, won't necessarily have the toolbox.

Johnathan: Here's an example of what we were talking about earlier. We gave the three local cops, Alan, Tim, the poker game. Here's what has to happen, we have to have two cons that are positive, and a con that's negative. And we played- we played 6, 7, 8, 9, minute takes.

Christine: Oh yeah, we sat back and laughed our asses off afterwards, they were great.

Johnathan: Sat back and laughed, and cut it together and you go where we see it in the scene.

Christine: Some brilliant cutting here, actually.

John: It’s a really nicely shot poker game, actually. I'm watching it now, this is really really nice.

Johnathan: It’s because we had all the time in the world because we had- we finished the scene and what I needed was the poker game, and what we needed was the story points in the poker game. Instead of trying to find them I said, ‘Why don't we just play hands out?’ And so the camera men, to their credit, Connell and Camp- 

John: And again, I love Beth bringing a creepy sexual vibe.

[Laughter]

Johnathan: A creepy sexual vibe to a safe.

Christine: It’s great.

John: Yeah, that's really nice. And she does the same thing- it's interesting. It’s kind of another beat that she played with Eliot in the Lost Heir Job where she knows violence is about to happen, and she gets a little buzzed by it.

Christine: A little excited about it. I don't know anybody like that.

John: Yeah that's not, not at all.

Christine: Not at all.

Johnathan: Isn’t that what you write? That's your strongest suit?

John: Creepy sexual violence, that's what Boylan-

Christine: I don't know what you're talking about.

Johnathan: That's the Boylan way.

John: No the-

Johnathan: By this time Nate is fully into the [unintelligible].

Christine: I mean he's just- 

John: Boom boom boom.

Johnathan: He made the decision early, which actually we glanced over. That was a wonderful beat, which he did not overplay. 

John: When he goes and gets the booze and brings it over? Yeah.

Johnathan: No no, in the bar when he decides to have the first drink.

Christine: The first drink.

John: Yeah. Well you know, I don’t think it’s in the script to look to Odessa? Just having Tim glimpse over.

Christine: That was all Tim.

John: That was- looking over he was like ‘Oh man, I have watched this little girl since she was 5 years old. I'm not gonna let her down now.’

Christine: Beautiful note.

John: Good fight here, too.

Johnathan: Good fight.

Christine: Great fight. Look at this guy. Oh my god

John: Yeah this is a nice- this is like a toe to toe. We don't do a lot of these.

Christine: This was the first day shooting I think?

Johnathan: Not only first day of shooting, this is-

Christine: Morning right?

Johnathan: This is doubled up with- weren’t we doubled up?

John: Yeah, another show was shooting.

Christine: Oh god we were. I blocked that out.

John: You guys overlapped.

Johnathan: We overlapped, and the crew was on its way to do another thing. 

John: Oh wow, I didn't know that.

Johnathan: Remember that?

Christine: That's right we lost some of the crew.

John: Oh wow, nice snap. I don't remember seeing this version of the cut; this is great. Oh both good spins.

Johnathan: This is, what’s his name? This is Paul Bernard’s stunt buddy from New York; he did a great job.

Christine: He’s fantastic.

John: Yeah and Kevin, our stunt coordinator, did a fantastic job. 

Christine: Great job, look at that.

John: That is a great fight. That might be one of- that's my favorite stick fight, and the fact that they're both very good-

Christine: Look at this guy, this guy’s the best.

Johnathan: Look at this guy. ‘Oh, oh no. Ahhh!’

Johnathan: Moe, Larry, Curly

Christine: Fantastic. Comedy, Frakes, comedy.

Johnathan: Second Three Stooges reference. 

John: Yeah.

Christine: Oh boy.

John: Yeah. 

[Laughter]

John: Yeah, and just Parker’s building frustration here. 

Johnathan: Like, ‘Can you guys shut up?’

Christine: She does a great job. Beth is terrific.

John: As Chris just takes him apart.

Johnathan: This is exactly the tone of this show.

Christine: Oh.

Johnathan: Right here.

[Laughter]

John: Did she kick him?

Christine: The flick of the ponytail.

Johnathan: Yeah, she worked the heel.

John: Yeah, just fantastic. And- I'm- wow, this is a great sequence. This is the first time I've seen that fight cut. That was wonderful.

Christine: It's good cutting in there, too.

Johnathan: The good money.

Christine: The good money, the good, good money.

John: Brian Gonosey right? Brian cut the hell out of this.

Christine: Brian, yes. My friend Brian.

Johnathan: Repeat on the snow.

John: Yeah. You only have so much- so much snow.

Johnathan: I know we need to get some more Boston shots for next year.

John: Totally legally, of course.

[Laughter]

Christine: I don't know what you're talking about.

Johnathan: It takes place in Boston, right? Shot in Portland.

John: Yes it does. Shot in Portland.

Christine: Look at the look on her face.

Johnathan: How convenient is this? ‘She'll be here in a minute.’ Door opens, she comes in, she’s got a bag of money.

Christine: Only got so much time.

Johnathan: Exactly.

John: Hey 42 minutes. 42 minutes, kids.

Johnathan: 42 minutes.

[Laughter]

John: We’re moving. 

Johnathan: It would've been cut anyway.

John: I know! It would've been cut.

Christine: I love how Alan just let the panic kind of- when we cut back to him, he just lets the panic kind of rise from his chest up to his face, essentially.

John: This was a big thing, too, figuring out exactly what the mark was, how-

Christine: Every mark I pitched was the most elaborate, most flirtily designed-

Johnathan: I know, in real life it should be the subtlest mark of all.

Christine: I was all over that.

Johnathan: It should be the most subtle mark of all.

John: Look at that, look at that.

Johnathan: This is a wonderful beat. This, and what Tim does after this, is fabulous.

John: And- but I love- just the way he just wipes his mouth as he gets up, he's like, ‘Alright, we're gonna have to do some violence.’

Christine: ‘We’re doing this. We're doing this.’

John: ‘Don't want to do this, but we have to do this’. And then the-

Johnathan: ‘Ok fine, let me talk my way out of it, if not-’

John: This is a man with a back up plan. Yeah, and Alan really dug in here, sort of just the rage of having his beautiful little plan taken away.

Johnathan: He's a stage boy. This is Eugene O'Neill stuff coming up.

John: Yeah exactly, park your cameras and let the people talk. And these guys were great.

Christine: These guys-

John: Also, great physical casting on these guys.

Christine: Second time he admits he's a loan shark right there, it's great.

John: They look like cops. I mean, it was really brilliant casting- they look like both cops and thugs, it was really nicely done.

Christine: They look like guys from the neighborhood. It worked out really well.

John: And again, one of the themes of the show is the bad guy is always hung by his own sin. You know, it's whatever sin you see him commit early has gotta be what shows up. Yeah, and this guy is fearless, I love this guy. I love them all. 

[Laughter]

Christine: He's hilarious, look at that.

John: We have to bring these guys back.

Christine: We should.

Johnathan: They live there, they could easily-

Christine: I really think we should.

John: Actually, that was a problem, Odessa was from LA, and we want to recur the character and getting her up was impossible.

Johnathan: She wasn't from LA.

John: She was from LA.

Christine: Um, I don't know.

John: Pretty sure, yeah.

Johnathan: No no, she came in-

John: And I love he kind of drops the- he’s got that -

Johnathan: He’s like Muldoon.

John: He's got that long Dublin face. He's got the long, yeah.

Christine: He does, he's like a Joyce character, he's terrific.

John: He is.

Johnathan: No, she's a local who had moved to LA after.

John: That's right, that's right.

Christine: Oh that's what that was.

John: Yeah, he's got the Flanner O'Connell thing going on.

Johnathan: All three of these guys could easily come back. 

John: Yeah.

Christine: Oh yeah.

Johnathan: It’s like Fred Guinn on the right, look at that.

John: Wow, you found the Portland Fred Guinn, amazing. This is one of the longer explanations-  this is actually one of the longer flashbacks we do.

Christine: I love doing these flashes, and they- we always have to cut a whole bunch every time I write.

John: I know, I know.

Johnathan: This is a bleached bypass.

Christine: The first draft of this outline had so many flashes in it.

John: There was-

Christine: The handwritten one that I did-

[Laughter]

John: To be fair, Boylan, sometimes you will write an episode which is mostly flashes, with only two or three things happening in modern times.

Christine: I don't know what you're talking about. I'm trying to screw with your perception of time.

John: The theater thing sometimes gets a little out of control.

Johnathan: Well you milked that Guinness, didn't you?

Christine: What? It was a tiny Guinness.

John: It was a tiny Guinness. She is a tiny girl, it was a tiny Guinness.

Christine: It was a baby Guinness. 

John: And this is- this is great. I love the fact that Nate becomes physically violent here. 

Christine: Oh man.

Johnathan: Yeah.

John: This is- and I'm trying to remember where that came up in the room.

Christine: I forgot who pitched the finger breaking thing.

John: Cause it was originally the cops.

Johnathan: Tim got really involved in this. Tim was very excited about this part of the character, and this moment that's about- that we're all about to see.

John: I think I was the finger breaking, just because of the various times I'd seen it done.

Johnathan: Well no, it's a call back to the finger breaking, a callback-

John: No right, that's why we put it in the old days. But I was trying to remember exactly how we- we had multiple ways to get him out of this room. And then it was like, you know, we really- you really can't just chase him out.

Christine: Yeah.

John: You need somebody to lay the hurt on him. 

Christine: He’s gotta have some damage.

John: And the person who has to do it has to be Nate. And that's great. Again, it backed into the whole- there's a seething angry vicious criminal under Nate Ford at all times.

Johnathan: Here it is- bam and bam!

Christine: Look at that.

John: He so digs in on the- 

Christine: Look at Alan.

John: And Alan is so- cause I’ll tell you, and that was the advice I got back when I was in Montreal. A guy was in the mob, he was a bouncer, told me ‘You know what, all you gotta do is break a man's finger to get his attention for 5 minutes.’ I was like, wow.

Christine: That's good advice.

John: Really good advice. There's no pain like-

Johnathan: And ooh lights out.

Christine: He let loose with so many unholy screams during-

John: And there's something- actually important here, he breaks his finger at the end of the conversation. 

Christine: Yeah.

John: That's an unpleasant thing to do. And the great bit, ‘You're exactly like your father.’ Ahh, that's so great.

Christine: Great breath there.

Johnathan: ‘None of us- I was at the ball game. Were you guys at the ball game?’

John: Huh? No.

Johnathan: That's what they're saying.

John: Oh!

Christine: Yeah ‘I was at the movies. Oh I was at the ball game’

John: ‘I was at the ball game.’ Oh, that's right

Christine: So the families can get the money back.

Johnathan: And then we tried desperately to get the snow to blow into the door on the exit. I’m not sure that we got it.

John: I don't think we got it. Why? ‘Cause it was 107 degrees in a warehouse!

Johnathan: It's 107, where are you guys going?

Christine: The backdoor to the alley, we covered it.

John: And the book, the ledger. And that was again, it's one of those things where you do research, how do loan sharks keep their records? They keep them in stupid coded legers!

Christine: Coded leger. It’s written in stupid pen and ink.

Johnathan: And here's the one of our regulars.

John: Yeah. 

Johnathan: She's so reluctant to give up the money, it's brilliant.

Christine: It’s great.

[Laughter]

Johnathan: Here's a callback to the people in the beginning who have been ripped off.

John: He’s one of our regulars- if you watch, every episode he's at the bar. He's great; he's a local extra who kinda became the- mascot’s not the right word, but he really became, kind of, the extra heart, you know. And booze. Booze for everyone.

Johnathan: Shooters for everybody.

Christine: Hey, you know, end with booze we do get to [] here.

John: Somebody actually asked who drinks, who doesn't drink. Eliot drinks, Hardison doesn't drink well, Parker drinks but it doesn't affect her, Tara drinks a lot, and Nate of course is an alcoholic, just if you're keeping score.

Johnathan: What about Odessa?

Christine: Sophie?

John: Oh Sophie drinks but she only drinks girly- socially.

Christine: Socially. That's my girl.

Johnathan: You think?

John: Well when she's- yeah. She can put it away, but she prefers-

Christine: But she doesn't need to.

Johnathan: But she drinks neat booze.

John: She drinks neat booze. But you know, she's a woman who's trying to escape her past. You know, whatever she used to drink she doesn't drink anymore. I just- ‘No, no, I'm not gonna sleep with your niece at all.’ That was actually- in the original version was, she wandered off, you know, what you need to close up this beat. Yeah.

Johnathan: Ok let's sit down, we've-

Christine: Here we go.

John: She's great, she really is great. And the whole fathers thing here.

Johnathan: We even milked it with the look to the empty father’s seat.

Christine: Oh yeah, look to the chair.

Johnathan: Hopefully it stayed in the cut, let’s see.

John: I don’t know.

Christine: I believe it did.

John: They don't listen to you Frakes. 

Christine: I don't know, we were both adamant about that.

Johnathan: Still doesn't matter.

Christine: Doesn’t matter.

John: We’re just puking up raw material for the brilliance of the editors. 

Christine: The director was here and that chirpy girl, I don't know what they were saying. I think she was drunk, I'm not sure.

John: There's a lot about fathers in this season. Sort of looking at it there's a lot of- there’s Lost Heir, there's the season opener...

Christine: Every good show has daddy issues.

John: Wow that was a really weird voice you said that in; that’s a little disturbing.

Johnathan: My fathers the reason I'm here.

Christine: Aww.

John: Yeah, there you go.

Johnathan: Chair.

John: Chair, there you go you got the chair.

Christine: Cut to the stool. Dad’s office.

John: And he's gonna drink to it, yup.

Johnathan: Cause he hasn't had enough to drink today.

John: No he has not. Well once you start, really-

Christine: Really, what's the point of stopping?

John: Oh that's nice, they've cleaned up behind them, while they're talking.

Johnathan: High and wide.

John: High and wide.

Christine: Times out really nicely.

John: Nicely done.

Christine: Real time.

John: Anything you wanna say to the nice folks?

Johnathan: See you next season.

Christine: See you next season.

John: Thank you Mr. Frakes, that was wonderful. Thank you Boylan, that was wonderful.

Christine: Thanks guys.

John: And again an almost impossible show to do. Usually an impossible job on any show and- on any series and you guys made it one of the best of the 2 years, congratulations.

Johnathan: You're a gentleman and a scholar and a physicist.

[Laughter]

Christine: And a bit of a comedian as well.

John: Every now and then.

Johnathan: I can see you on that stage in the back room.

John: I'm not doing it.

Johnathan: What do you mean?

Christine: You are doing it.

Johnathan: John. 

John: You know what? This screams for a Gilligan cut, ‘I’m not doing it!’

[timebird84]

🎄 PotO Advent Calendar 2020 🎄

By @maze-zen​

Possible song-canon dubcon. T-rated.

Don’t like it, don’t read it!!!

‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ was written in 1944, but most people probably know the version with Dean Martin from 1959. I’ve always thought the song had some curious lyrics and I couldn’t resist writing this fic.

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Chérie, it's Cold Outside

“I really can't stay,” Christine insisted as she walked past Erik in the sitting room and headed for the hallway to get her cloak by the door. “I’ve got to go away.”

Erik’s gentle but unrelenting skeletal hand grabbed her elbow and pulled her back to face him. “But, chérie, it’s cold outside.” He was still sitting in the armchair which made them almost the same height as she stood in front of him. It felt as though his eyes were drilling into her, despite being invisible in the deep, black sockets of his skull. She suppressed a shudder.

“This evening has been,” she breathed as his hand slithered down to grip her wrist, circling the pulse point with his thumb, just on the side of pain, “so very nice.” His touch felt mesmerizing and her gaze drifted down to see his large hand slowly enclosing her own.

A warm hum rumbled in his chest, a dark melody that crept under her skin. “I’ve been hoping you’d drop in.” He took hold of both her hands and squeezed a little too hard. “Your hands are just like ice.” The notion was amusing since her hands were warmer than his, but the thought disappeared when he tugged her towards him, so she nearly fell into his lap.

She managed to regain her balance and struggled out of his hold, yet didn’t run down the hallway as she should have. “My Mamma will start to worry and her nurse will pace the floor,” she whispered when his finger glided over the silver of her wrist watch and she swiftly looked away, her eyes drawn to the fireplace where a warm fire roared. “So really, I’d better scurry.”

He reached for her cheek and pulled her face back to his. “Beautiful, please don’t hurry.” The closeness made her mind hazy.

“Well, maybe just half a drink more,” the words left her unwillingly, although her mind told her that she should go. However, it felt rude to leave him already; she knew how lonely he was down here.

Erik rose, gently nudging her into the chair instead, and walked over to pour another drink for her in the glass she’d left on the little bar opposite the fireplace. “What might my neighbors think?” She mumbled, more to herself than Erik, when he handed her the glass and she took a sip.

“Chérie, it’s bad up there.” He stood tall above her, his arms gesturing upwards to the real world, his words persistent.

The liquid stung her tongue and she swallowed immediately, hissing at the way it burned down her throat. “Say, what’s in this drink?” She looked at the liquid, more golden than the usual white wine he served to her.

He ignored her words, still arguing that she should stay. “There’s no carriages to take you home up there.” Lowering himself to sit on his knees in front of her, he cupped her face and as the light caught his pupils, she felt enthralled by those glowing, catlike eyes.

“I wish I knew how to break this spell.”

Once more he hummed in that delectable voice, only inches from her face. When had he gotten so close? “Your eyes are like starlight and your hair looks swell,” spindly fingers drifted into her intricately braided coiffure and ruffled it. “Mind if I move in closer?”

“I ought to say no no, sir,” she tried to shake her head, only to find her head held in place by his hand. “At least I’m going to say that I tried.”

His eyes glimmered dangerously, causing her insides to freeze. “What’s the sense in hurting my pride?” He whispered, cold spit flying from his lipless mouth on her too hot skin. It pulled her out of the haze.

“I really can’t stay,” she wrestled against his hold, crying out when she finally escaped and left a chunk of her hair in his fist. She scrambled over the back of the chair and ran to the door. A hand shot out in front of her face when she reached for the handle.

“Chérie, don’t hold out,” he hissed, “it’s cold outside.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “I simply must go, Erik. The answer is no.” His hand didn’t move from its place at the door, making his expectations clear. She turned to face him, hoping to placate him. “The welcome has been so nice and warm-”

“How lucky that you dropped in,” he interjected with an ominous smirk, disallowing her to continue, “before the snow turned into a storm.”

“My Mamma will be suspicious,” she went on, her eyes pleading with him, but his eyes were drifting lower.

“Gosh, your lips look delicious.”

“Raoul might be there at my door,” she said, instantly regretting having mentioned his name. Something akin to a growl sounded from his throat, a typical reaction to hearing her talk about his self-proclaimed rival. She gripped the lapels of his waistcoat. “Please, Erik, don’t be vicious!”

Her words had barely been spoken before he grabbed the back of her head and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss. She struggled against him, fighting his insistent mouth without luck.

As she gave in and let him take all control, something began to jostle in her stomach, pushing the cold in her chest away and replacing it with a warmth that came from his otherwise chilled kiss. It was a strange sensation.

Slowly, he coerced her to move her lips against his nonexistent ones and she welcomed it when his tongue probed inside her mouth. A small gasp left her as he massaged her tongue with his own. She tightened her hold on his waistcoat.

It was too soon when he drew back. “Gosh, your lips are delicious,” he breathed, causing a shiver in her.

She was breathing heavily, suddenly not desperate to go home. “Maybe just a song more… Then I got to get home.”

“But chérie, you’ll freeze up there. It’s gotta be up to your knees.” He leaned in to kiss her jaw, then down her throat when she lifted her head to give him access.

“This really feels grand," his mouth made a fascinating pressure against her vocal cords. Her mind felt fogged. Somehow, her fingers tangled into the thin hair at the nape of his neck.

He groaned into her skin, a shiver raking through his body. "I thrill at the touch of your hand. How can you do this to me?" She wondered the same. The tension between them could change from intimate to terrifying in the blink of an eye, but their chemistry was constant.

“There’s bound to be talk tomorrow.”

“Think of my lifelong sorrow.” He knew how she sympathized with his awful past and used it in any situation it might be in his favor. Even now it worked.

“I really can’t stay…” His lips disappeared from her neck to her dismay. A long, thin digit caressed her jaw before tilting her head to face him.

His stare was intense, his voice leaving no room for discussion. “Get over that old doubt. Chérie, it’s cold,” he purred and led her back towards the warm sitting room. Her resolve crumbled, her conflicting thoughts finally quieting.

“Oui, chéri, it really is cold outside,” she agreed before he claimed her lips once more.

[phoebenavarro]

in honor of bmc closing here’s some notes I took on my phone after I saw the show in may and never actually got around to posting lol

under a cut cause long

Jeremy’s striped shirt is very reminiscent of Ness’s shirt in Earthbound (hc: Jeremy is a huge Mother fan, he loves Earthbound and he’s played fan translations of Mother 3) (he always wanted a group of friends like Ness has in Earthbound, people he could save the world with. He’s always had Michael of course, but he wanted to be part of a party like in an rpg) (and by the end of the show he does)

Love all the details behind Jeremy’s bed-- empty soda cans, the n64 and NES, and ROB

All the details in the set are great, like the posters at school and in the mall. There’s a poster for the GSA that says “Don’t fear queer”

Jeremy sounds like he’s about to cry as he says “I was just trying to get to my locker” when Rich is writing on his bag :(

“No, I always sweat this much” *furiously wipes forehead with sleeve*

“I get it, you’re a virgin!” the look of pure MORTIFICATION on Jeremy’s face

Christine touching Jeremy’s chest and he clutches his heart and looks like he’s about to have a heart attack (MOOD)

Christine stopping herself from info dumping at the beginning of ILPR but then seeing that Jeremy’s interested and the words spilling out of her is SUCH an ADHD mood

Jeremy mouthing “fuck, no” when Jake first is talking to Christine

Anthony Chatmon is a very cute Jake. He makes him very endearing. He’s very earnest but also a complete dumbass LMAO

When Rich’s Squip glitches and he’s laying on the ground, Jeremy just walks away lol

When Rich is singing about his penis in the Squip Song, Jeremy points at his crotch and is like “your....?”

The projections behind the Squip people are SO COOL (all the projections are super cool I love them)

“All I have to do is give the Guy Who tor........... ments me six. HUNDRED- yeah he’s scamming me”

I adore two player game!!!!!! The choreography and the projections are great and its a super creative way to make a song where the characters are doing something as visually boring as playing a video game interesting to watch

Michael when Jeremy and his dad are talking is really the epitome of “your friend and their parent are arguing in front of you and you don’t know what to do”

“I think I just blew my bar mitzvah money on a wintergreen tic tac” is SUCH A GREAT line I love it

The squip: “You make everyone around you nauseated” Jeremy: huge smile, mouths “wait what”

The Squip likes to be tall

Literally being able to see the gears turning in the Squip’s head as it watches Jeremy interact with people. It’s absolutely fascinated

The Squip looks so happy and supportive when Jeremy does something good unprompted? Like it gives Jeremy a little thumbs up when Jeremy adds the “She’s french” line when talking about Madeline

Sync up is so awesome and I straight up can’t imagine the show without it now that it’s there. Like I love how Jeremy masters the Squip hand choreography and he’s totally in sync (ha) with everyone else

Okay but I am DYING at the play being set in Athens............. Georgia (like... I went to school there! Go dawgs!) (I saw a production of midsummer once where the “you’ll know him by his athenian garb” meant that Demetrius was wearing a bulldogs sweater)

The Squip is absolutely BAFFLED when Jeremy is talking with Christine and being a huge fucking dork and she’s actually into it. And it’s just fascinated by here. Love it. I think it realizes then and there that she can’t be as easily manipulated as someone like Brooke, and I think that’s why it tries to kind of steer Jeremy away from her.

The Squip is like. So pleased with itself during all of Guy I’d Kind of Be Into

“DID YOU KILL EMINEM” “Noooooooooooooooot exactly” (low key the funniest line in the show)

Brooke and Jeremy are actually really cute and I get really sad for her cause she clearly likes him a lot and he just ends up hurting her (which was not his intention, but like, it still happens)

You can see the beginnings of the Squip’s plan forming as it watches everyone sing “I’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am” during Upgrade

Loser Geek Whatever is. God. So relatable. And so many lines in it hit me so hard because like, someone put that experience into words

You can see Michael on the screens in the set walls saying Jeremy’s name for a second after the “optic nerve blocking on” line

I need a recording of the intermission music it’s so funky and I love it

I LOVE brooke’s dog costume it’s adorable

Jeremy says “fucking incredible” while the Squip is dancing during halloween

The Squip rolls its eyes at Jeremy for not realizing that Chloe is hitting on him and gives Chloe a look like “I know, he’s so oblivious” when Chloe laughs at Jeremy for not getting it

Chloe falls over on the bed during Do You Wanna Hang

The Squip flops face down on the bed when it gets shut down because of the alcohol and then it just stays there for the rest of the scene

Literally everyone in the audience gasped when Jeremy called Michael a loser

Michael does some of the same choreography from Two Player Game during Michael In The Bathroom and it hurt my heart

“pucking your way through the cast of midsummer” okay but what cast of midsummer HASNT had that one person that dates/hooks up with multiple people in the cast

I realized that the reason the Squip tells Jeremy that he has to leave NOW is cause it knows Rich is about to set the house on fire, not because everything else went poorly for Jeremy

Rich set a fire is SUCH a fun number, I love everyone’s slippers/pajamas and I love Brooke throwing her banana peel off stage and flinging her headphones off

I love Jeremy’s outfit in the scene where he yells at his dad. He looks really good okay, even if he’s being a dick

Pants song is lovely, also at the “do you love him” line there was like a record scratch sound effect (Michael: yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got into this situation.)

God... I love Pitiful Children. It manages to be funny at the beginning and then it turns into an incredibly threatening villain song by the end of it... Extra disturbing because Jeremy is so into it

I LOVE everyone’s costumes in the play - all the sequins, and I love Brooke and Chloe’s wigs. (Bit unrealistic that those would be costumes for a high school play but they’re so cool I’ll let it slide)

Gotta mention Jeremy’s vocal glitches, they blew my mind. Can’t believe Will Roland just does that (also I’m sad the line about vinyl isn’t on the cast recording cause that was low key my favorite glitch)

Jeremy flipping off the Squip and then the Squip twisting Jeremy’s arm >:(

The Squip’s death is so cool... I love the effects. Technical theatre rules

I love everything about Rich realizing he’s bi. Compulsory heterosexuality really do be like that sometimes

“Hi Rich........ Bye Rich” Michael I love you

Rich like, trails his hand up Michael’s stomach and Michael laughs and smacks his hand away and then he’s horrified cause he hurt Rich’s burns

I gotta mention the Hello Kitty shoes because I still can’t believe they’re real!!!! I love them and I love Jeremy with all my heart!!!!!!!

“Embrace the traits that make you so odd!” Love is stored.... In the Brooke (She’s so sweet and also I think she really did like Jeremy in part because he’s “odd” so get fucked Squip)

Troy Iwata’s Michael has a different jacket for VIMH. He’s got a Japanese flag patch and there’s a different thing on the back. I couldn’t read it but it’s different from George’s. The details!

Voices in my head is lovely and it makes me so happy

(Sorry I still can’t believe BMC didn’t get nominated for at least sound design cause the sound design was amazing. Imo it also deserved a lighting design nom. Sigh. Maybe if they’d gotten more Tony noms it wouldn’t have closed so soon.)

But yeah. It’s been two days and I already miss BMC on broadway. But I am looking forward to the show having a very successful future being licensed for school productions and other local productions!

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 22: 1x07 What Are Little Girls Made Of?

Today was an inexplicably good day?? Weird. Even before the watching TOS part.

My mom immediately pointed out that Christine had her hair done. Well of course! It’s seeing the fiance day!

I can’t believe she hasn’t seen Roger in 5 years.

Perhaps why she feels comfortable drunk-confessing her love for an alien lol.

Another story of a person exploring an abandoned planet and playing around with the stuff he finds there. I gotta say truly and unironically this never gets old for me.

Also another story of Kirk meeting one of his heroes. The boy likes to read, and then imagine meeting the authors.

I always get so excited just to be watching Star Trek that I miss half the exposition at the beginning of each ep.

Mmmm, underground ruins built by past inhabitants.

HavE YOU evER BeEn enGAGEd mr SPOCK?

He’s married right now.

Love how both Jim and Christine are like “I must know, I must know the answer to this.”

Christine so sure that it’s Roger BUT IT’S NOT ROGER like???? This relationship isn’t gonna work.

The cute Christine and Uhura moment in the background (is it gay?? it isn’t on its face but that lip touching moment sure is!) and Spock in the Captain’s chair.

The long shot looks like a realistic ice planet and the close up looks like boxes covered in soft white blankets.

“Beam down..............hmmmm................two security men.”

Look at all those penises.

Oh Kirk, every time a crewman dies, that’s all he cares or thinks about.

Christine is displeased to meet Android Andrea.

Kirk’s face when Roger and Christine kiss is hilarious to me?? Like he kinda makes a kissing motion? So jealous.

Kirk’s tiny little phaser is so bizarre.

Oh no! They’re....androids!! Dun dun dun.

Spock recognizes that it’s not Kirk’s voice talking to him right away like who is the REAL engaged couple here hmmm??

Smart Kirk move #1: adding “or disobey orders from her” to Ruk’s programming.

The idea of this android just tending machinery for hundreds of years is so sad.

This is my kind of action sequence: very obviously choreographed.

“How can you love him if you don’t trust him?” A very perceptive android.

Love the shocked music at the reveal Andrea is an android as if this weren’t the MOST obvious thing from the start.

She has skin and a pulse? “How convenient.”

When Christine asks “Did you [love the machine]?” she definitely means “Did you have sex with the machine?” Otherwise she would have phrased it as “Do you?” as in a continuous action, versus, a past event.

Wish Spock were here to comment on the perfectly logical machines.

Love the green pre-android lol.

So do the androids have to be fashioned after real people and if so, who is Andrea?

Smart Kirk move #2: Programming obviously false sentiments into his brain at the right moment, so Spock will know there’s something wrong.

“I am now programmed to please you also” sounds so ominous. Ominous and a big ol’ admission she and Roger fucked.

Bringing in Android Kirk to prove his believability to Chapel is honestly, watching it now, such a betrayal. Like, sending in someone she trusts to talk to her, knowing she’ll be honest and open with him, and then telling her it’s just a trick or a test? I was never so bothered by it before but watching it now, wow, Roger is AWFUL.

Stop everything it’s SAM KIRK TIME. I love Sam. Find it weird that no one else calls him Sam if George is Kirk Sr.’s name b/c my experience with kids who share family names is everyone in the family/family’s orbit picks up the nickname/middle name/whatever.

Where did his other two sons go?

Did he ever make it to Earth Colony 2?

Sorry just picturing Sam and his family seeing Kirk off and getting EMO.

Roger describing the usefulness of androids reminds me of, mmm, Dollhouse. Altered Carbon. T100.

Either Korby just generally lost his mind or something was corrupted when he became an android.

Oh Kirk. What does he love in humans? Love, tenderness, sentiment. A ROMANTIC NERD.

Mom contends, and I agree that Ruk is very stylishly dressed. I suppose he must look like the Old Ones? I never thought about it, but based on how the androids are made, they must have been physically indistinguishable from the Old Ones.

Kirk is armed now, with a giant pink phallus.

Spock sees the Captain walk right past him, without saying hi, and he is IMMEDIATELY suspicious. Just walks right away from what he was doing like lol whatever.

Now Spock knows for sure... the real Captain wouldn’t be so cavalier with official papers and he definitely wouldn’t use racial slurs!!

Kirk the honeypot. What I say every time he uses his sexuality for a purpose (not the same as being a womanizer btw!!!).

Oh Andrea DEFINITELY had sex with Roger. “I’m not programmed for you!”

Spock would disagree that saving the Captain is illogical.

“They turned us off!” I know there are other stories that go into this type of narrative more (Blade Runner) but... I still want to know more about these particular androids and aliens.

“Survival must cancel out programming.”

These androids, not counting Ruk, are like honestly not very smart at all. Kirk is very much distinguishable from real Kirk. (Just brushing off a weird attempted kiss with “it is illogical.”) Andrea is very easily confused. Doesn’t know who she’s killing, doesn’t know what she’s about.

Spock got the message!

“Your flawless beings killing one another.”

Korby is honestly a lot more interesting than I remembered. I remembered the part about him being an android, and pretty quickly the part about him actually transferring his consciousness, but... he’s so different from the Korby Kirk read about and Christine knew. Would that have happened anyway, just from his experiences? Or was it becoming an android that did it? I think there’s some evidence for the latter, like how he tries to prove his humanity and can only think of actions a machine would take. Plus all the emphasis all the way through on them being “just machines.” And it must be said, we don’t know how different Ruk is from the Old Ones, intellectually or personality wise, but we know that Kirk is a poor substitute, so it doesn’t seem likely Roger was actually all that good at his experiments yet. Doesn’t seem plausible he transferred himself correctly.

“Everything you’ve done has proved it isn’t you.”

I wonder why Ruk was the only android left? Did the others break down? Are there rusted android carcasses hanging out somewhere? Or like... rotting android bodies?

And THEN the little last minute twist with Andrea--DID she have feelings? Was she becoming human in some way?

Look Christine, your other boyfriend Spock is here!

Spock’s expression at the end totally kills me. “Ugh, fine, I GUESS I understand you were in a really WEIRD situation what with being turned into an ANDROID and all.”

I feel bad for him that he had to hear Kirk say such awful things to him. But that was the point! It had to be something the real Kirk would NEVER say!

This was a really good Kirk ep, and I definitely saw nuances in the android story that I didn’t see before/didn’t remember. Like Mudd’s Women, it put a lot of its most interesting stuff really fast into a few scenes, mostly at the end, but still overall a really solid episode.

And I’m still ASCENDING over the “Have you ever been engaged, Mr. Spock?” I can’t help it, I am a simple being.

[totally-bi-now]

title: “apples at play rehearsal”

word count: 1082

summary: rich is trying his best and christine is along for the ride

author’s note: this is so dumb i’m sorry? there’s absolutely no plot it’s just christine and rich being friends. 

alternative title: “christine is a tactile person and rich eats that shit up”

“How does one ask out a boy?”

Christine slowly looks up from her apple slices to find Rich staring at her earnestly. 

They’re on a, as Mr. Reyes likes to call them, ‘hot pocket break,’ and Rich had decided to sit by Christine to pester her about helping him with his lines because even though he’s still a pretty decent actor without his Squip, it’s a lot harder to memorize your lines when you actually have to memorize your lines. 

But Christine has faith in him even though he keeps pronouncing the name ‘Petruchio’ wrong. 

“Is this about a specific boy?” Christine asks because she really has no idea. Rich has talked about cute boys in the past and there was that huge crush he had on Michael during the second semester of junior year post-Squipcident (Jake’s coined term), but she hasn’t heard him talk about anyone in particular recently. 

But Christine and Rich had only just started becoming close friends the first semester of senior year and, for all she knows, Rich might still have it totally bad for Michael. 

Whoever it is, it makes Rich blush and stammer, “N-No. Nobody specific. Just like hypothetical.” 

“Okay,” Christine says, drawing out the word doubtfully. She hands him an apple slice, and Rich takes a bite out of it. “So, hypothetically, I’d just ask him out.”

Rich groans and falls down with his back on the ground. It’s really rather dramatic and even some of the other kids in rehearsal are giving him weird looks. Christine has to give him some credit when Rich doesn’t even seem to mind; he’s come a long way from the self-conscious freshman that Rich has sometimes told her about. 

“You’re the worst, Christine,” he grumbles. His half-eaten apple slice as fallen to the ground next to him, dirty and forgotten.

“Well, I mean, if you wanna tell me who this is really about….” she trails off, giving Rich an intentional raised-eyebrow-look. 

He sighs but scrambles back up, scooching close so that they’re pressed against each other. He glances around to make sure no one else is listening, and Christine has to ignore the urge to laugh at him. Eventually, he looks back at her and whispers, “You can’t tell anybody.”

“Rich,” she says, giving him another pointed look.

“I’m serious, Christine,” he mumbles, glancing back around again. “It’s embarrassing enough that Michael knows, so, like, this is big for me.”

Okay, so not Michael then. 

Christine holds up her hand, pinkie held out. “I promise.”

Rich frowns at her for only half a second before wrapping his own pinkie around hers. They shake on it, and Rich gets very quiet as he says, “It’s Jeremy.”

“Oh my god!” Christine exclaims. She’s bouncing up and down, jerking Rich’s arm where their pinkies are still connected. She drags him close and says, again, “Oh my god!”

Rich quickly shushes her, pulling his hand away. “Okay, okay! Stop! Chill!”

“But it’s just so great,” she says, but she does make sure her voice is a little quieter. “I mean, you and Jeremy! Rich!”

“I know, I know,” he says, reaching forward to grab her hands from where they’re flailing with excitement. He’s flushing a deep red now, blush traveling all the way from his cheeks and down to his throat. “But we gotta keep it a secret, remember?”

“No, I know, I know,” Christine says, nodding seriously. Then she’s grinning again. “But c’mon! You and Jeremy!”

“It’s not even a thing,” Rich says quickly. “Just, like, a crush. I don’t even know if he’d like me back. I mean, I know we’re friends and all now, but I still treated him like human garbage...like, all of the time.”

“Yeah,” Christine says softly. She readjusts Rich’s grip on her wrists so that she’s holding his hands. She squeezes them. “But you guys have talked all that out, right? I mean, we all know it wasn’t you doing all that stuff, Rich.”

“It wasn’t entirely me,” Rich corrects, just as softly. 

“Still,” she presses. “I mean, I forgave Jeremy, remember? Sure, we only dated for a month, but still. You guys are already killing it with the communication part.”

Rich bites back a grin. “We kind of are, aren’t we?”

“Totally!” Christine beams at him. 

Rich groans again, less dramatically, and leans forward until his forehead is resting on Christine’s shoulder. “He’s just so cute, Christine. Like a total fucking dork, but in a good way. Did you know that yesterday he just brought me a Mountain Dew Red to school? But only because he was having a bad day and they make him feel better, so he thought he’d bring me one too just in case. Do you know how expensive those old, gross ass sodas are?”

“Yeah, he’s really sweet,” Christine says, reaching up to play with Rich’s hair.

Before her hand is able to make it, Rich pulls back, eyes wide. “Oh god. It’s okay that I told you, right? Like I know you two dated, and like, it’s totally okay if you still have feelings for him o-or-.”

“Rich,” she interrupts softly, grinning at him. “I don’t have feelings for Jeremy anymore. At least, no more than platonic feelings.”

“Oh, okay,” he says and then smiles at her nervously. “So do you think he could, I dunno, like me back?”

In all honesty, Christine has no idea. Jeremy did only just recently come out as bi, and he and Rich do have a bit of an iffy past even though she’s pretty sure they’ve thoroughly worked it out. But also she knows how determined Jeremy was to be Rich’s friend after he got out of the hospital - almost nearly as determined as she was. And she also knows how much Jeremy genuinely enjoys spending time with Rich. 

But she also knows that Jeremy is one of the most complicated people on the face of the planet even though he constantly tries his best not to be. 

So she says, “Maybe.”

And adds a little nod for effort.

But apparently that’s enough because Rich gets a little, tiny grin on his face and says, “Cool.”

Then he’s leaning back against her and Christine forces him to wrap an arm around her shoulders so she can cuddle up next to him while she finishes up her apple slices before Mr. Reyes returns.

She’s almost fully comfortable when she realizes, “Wait, you told Michael before you told me?”

“Uh…”

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 28: Fusion Frenzy (originally published on October 4, 2021)

AN: It's fusion time everyone! Last time, Black Rutile initiated Phase 2 of her new plan to eradicate her enemies by interrupting the President's emergency address and now, she's on her way to Beach City as we speak to begin Phase 3. Can the Crystal Gems stop this monster and save both Steven & the Earth? Find out today on Steven Universe Alternate Future!

Synopsis: Bluebird Azurite, Black Rutile & White Topaz return to capture Steven.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Monster Steven, Watermelon Stevens

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Volleyball, Mega Pearl

Grace Rolek as Connie/Future Connie

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Shelby Rabara as Peridot/Future Peridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth/Future Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Noël Wells as Black Rutile/Future Black Rutile

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Larissa Gallagher as Bluebird Azurite

Patti LuPone as Yellow Diamond

Lisa Hannigan as Blue Diamond

Christine Ebersole as White Diamond

Sarah Stiles as Spinel

Aparna Nancherla as Lemon Jade

Erica Luttrell as Future Sapphire

Lin-Manuel Miranda as President Eduardo Suarez

Wendie Malick as Vice President Theresa Maxwell

GZA as Major General Wade Grant

Aimee Mann as Opal

Billie Eilish as Turquoise

Esme Bianco as Malachite

Catherine Tate as Lepidolite

Toks Olagundoye as Nanafua

--

Closed off from the chaos outside, Jasper remained curled up in the bathtub, sobbing quietly over being rejected by her Diamond, over how nothing seemed to go right for her on Earth, and how she'd rather have gone back to Homeworld with the Diamonds rather than stay with all the other healed Gems. However, her misery wouldn't last any longer.

"Can you keep it down?! I'm trying to mope!" Jasper bellowed before she finally burst from the bathroom and marched on outside as she heard roaring from the beach. However, what she saw was a shocking sight. "What is that?"

"Is that you Jasper?" Lapis exclaimed as she hovered over to her orange frenemy. "Where have you been this whole time, you'd be pretty useful here but it seems like you don't want to!"

"I was busy being depressed, brat." Jasper snarled at Lapis. "Depressed over how my Diamond left me again. Now where is he? I want to give him a piece of my mind!"

"Funny you should mention that," Peridot replied loudly. "That monster thing is Steven!"

"You're kidding!" Jasper replied before she began sounding more insecure. "Please tell me you're kidding and that this isn't all my fault because he shattered me, I'm begging you guys!"

"Are you okay?" Pearl asked the big Quartz as Lapis brought Jasper over to the Gems. "You're sounding a bit more frantic than usual."

"Sorry," Jasper began, cringing at the thought of apologizing for something she did. "I just think this might be my fault, since because of me he went mad with power and shattered me."

"It's not your fault Jasper," Garnet said comfortingly. "I think we all might be to blame here. But it could be worse." The fusion followed up by kissing Jasper on the forehead, much to her disgust.

"Ew, what did you do to me?!" Jasper yelped in disgust as she harshly rubbed at her forehead before her vision began to distort. "Wait, what's-"

--

What Jasper then saw was not a beautiful seaside where a monster stormed about, but the remnants of Little Homeworld, now reduced to ruins in the middle of a desolate wasteland. As far as she could see, no life could be seen for miles, all except for a ragtag band of survivors finding their way in this apocalyptic future.

"Any sign of He Who Must Not Be Named yet?" the possible future version of Peridot, easily distinguished from her regular self through wearing Pearl's blazer, asked a young adult version of Connie.

"No, thankfully." Connie said as she looked through the skies with her binoculars. "But we gotta move at some point, he could be here at any moment now!"

"No, I say we stay and fight!" Bismuth declared. "I don't care if that's still Steven, you all seen what he did to our friends!" she added despondently. "Ruby, Amethyst, Pearl, Lapis, they're all gone now, all thanks to him!"

"Bismuth, you're being irrational." Sapphire calmed the blacksmith down. "But I do agree, there's no future I see where we calm Steven down and rebuild society."

"Well, let him come." Peridot stated tiredly. "Anything to be with Lapis again. I'm just so tired of fighting."

As the surviving Crystal Gems bowed their heads in shame of how powerless they were to save their loved ones, a hoarse, piercing laugh rang out, causing the four to take up arms against whatever foe crossed their path. That foe in question turned out to be Black Rutile, now without her cape and her visor showed many visible cracks.

"Ah, yes." Black Rutile said as her laughing turned into smirking. "Tired of something you barely even did to begin with. Maybe if you two weren't tossed to the side after the Cluster and reduced to a comic relief role, that little witch could've stood a better chance."

"Be very careful with what you say next." Connie threatened the Rutile by pointing her sword straight at her gem.

"Oh come now Mama-Say-Mama-Sah-Warren, I've lost people too." Black Rutile grinned while lowering the sword. "I've lost people too. Heck, you saw how Steven killed my old gang, and now he's after me too for all I've done."

"Well frankly, you had it coming for all that." Bismuth responded before turning her finger into a spike. "Now pipe down while I smash you to pieces."

"Bismuth, stop." Connie advised Bismuth. "I think she might be our best chance at surviving yet."

"Are you serious?!" Peridot shrieked in defiance. "It's all because of her that Steven went nuts, shattered Jasper, and then started rampaging across the planet and maybe beyond! All our friends and family are dead because of Black Rutile, and you think she might help us?!"

"We kept you around despite being a Homeworld loyalist." Sapphire told Peridot.

"So anyways, you might be our best chance at stopping Steven." Connie said to Black Rutile before sticking her hand out. "You in?"

"I'm going to assume that if I don't play by your rules, I'll pay with my life?" Black Rutile asked as she shook the human's hand.

"You bet." Connie answered. "When I found White Topaz before Steven shattered her, she begged me, with her last words that when I'd kill you, and make no mistake I will kill you, I'll give you the slowest and most painful death I can offer. And if you try and run away, I'm going to honor that promise."

As the handshake broke, Black Rutile was left completely speechless at both Connie's death threat and her late bodyguard having the audacity to wish death upon her. Before long, her silence was broken by another bout of maniacal laughter at Connie's expense. "Honor? Really kid?" Black Rutile declared. "You know we live in a society, or at least what's left of one, where honor is but a distant memory."

"You talk too much, you know that?" Sapphire snarked before she received another future vision, one that might spell their doom. "My stars, he's coming!"

While Connie, Peridot, Bismuth, and Sapphire prepared for the fight of their lives, Black Rutile looked up at the pink-colored sonic boom in the sky and laughed as a pink glowing figure landed on the ground in front of the rebels, the resulting impact causing more destruction to Little Homeworld.

Connie pointed her sword at their opponent, and her face softened upon discovering who it was. A pink, gargoyle-like monster whose size was equal to Bismuth's with massive horns on his head, scars on his chest forming a star, and a pink gem on his stomach.

"Steven?"

--

"So all that could've happened, because of me?" Jasper despaired as she was returned to the present day before dropping to her knees. "You were right, I am nothing but trouble."

"Okay, maybe you are, but you can still change." Amethyst rejected Jasper's notion. "And you can start by helping us stop him!" She then pointed to the pink monster, who took one look at Jasper and began to run away from her, no doubt the Steven inside it afraid to see Jasper again after killing her.

"Hey, get back here!" Jasper yelled as Steven tried to run straight towards Beach City.

"It's gonna smash Beach City!" Amethyst yelled. "We gotta stop him!" Without even a chance to be asked, Lapis summoned a water rope that she used to lasso Steven and drag him away from Beach City.

"So, is there any way to fix him?" Jasper asked.

"None that we know of so far." Garnet replied. "Not even the Diamonds could solve this problem."

"And now, I don't think there's anything we can do." Pearl declared.

"Anything, except surrender." Black Rutile declared as she, White Topaz, Aquamarine, and Eyeball dropped down from and stood before the group with an army of robots behind them. "Oh look, everyone is here! We got the insipid oppressors, their mindless sheep, and the sorry excuses for monarchs!"

"What's your game Black Rutile?" White Diamond angrily asked her former subordinate.

"It's quite simple really." Black Rutile replied. "Thanks to yours truly, all of you are now enemies of humanity for allowing this to happen!" She pointed at Steven. "And not just your little monster problem, but for all the horrible things you've done to this planet! And all while you were too busy crying like babies for the brat."

"Yeesh, someone likes to talk." Spinel murmured.

"Zip it, playmate!" Aquamarine declared. "Once all of you are out of the way, our master shall claim this galaxy as her own!"

"And maybe become one of the great Universal Lords!" Eyeball added.

--

All across the world, riots began breaking out over Black Rutile's broadcast. Picket signs were made, effigies were burned, and calls were made to eliminate the Crystal Gems' threat to humanity, even though not a single one of them knew of their existence before today.

In Washington, Theresa was showing Suarez a livestream on her phone of a group of people in Russia cursing in their native language of how the Gems deprived them of their ancestors' native land, leaving the president more depressed over the incident just as Wade strolled into the Oval Office.

"I just got off the phone with Prime Minister Sorayama." Major General Grant said. "He's saying the cabinet of Japan is ready to launch everything they've got against the monster and the Crystal Gems. They just need you to give the okay."

"No, we are not nuking anything!" Eduardo screamed, making the vice president and the major general jump a bit. "I know the Gems are good, kind people, but is it really true they're responsible for all that? And who's this Pink Diamond anyway?"

"I know they're your friends Mr. President, but what friends places the world in danger so many times, the only one to address that is another member of their species?" Grant asked. "It's your choice, sir. Your friends or your country?"

"He raises a pretty good point, sir." Theresa stated. "What's it gonna be?"

After wiping a few tears from his eyes, Eduardo turned to face the window behind him and made his decision. "Major General, tell Japan to call off the attack. Because we're doing it ourselves."

--

Back in Beach City, Black Rutile continued her speech to the Gems. "Look at all of this." She declared. "This is the chaos I've wanted to engender for so long. I wanted to build a new Homeworld order where you failed, but you chose Steven over your own people just because he's family." As Black Rutile continued speaking, she could feel her sanity begin to teeter off the edge more and more. "My purpose was to fight for the Gems, that is the sole purpose I was given. And now, I barely have any people left. That is what you have taken from me. That is what you have taken from EVERYONE!"

"That is where you're wrong!" Pearl boasted in reply. "You may think you're a misunderstood hero, but you're not! You're nothing more than a sociopathic, bloviating monster who only thinks that she's doing what's best for everyone! As actual heroes, we'll fight to stop you till our last breath, because we are the Crystal Gems and we'll always save the day!"

With that, Pearl took Amethyst's hand and the two merged into Opal, who pulled out her bow and fired an arrow at Black Rutile, who only moved her head an inch to the right to dodge it.

"Oh, fusions, eh?" Black Rutile snickered. "I guess we should even the odds then." She then turned to White Topaz. "Topaz, to me!"

"Right away my Rutile." White Topaz sadly complied and fused with Black Rutile to once again form Lepidolite.

"BEHOLD PEONS!" Lepidolite declared bombastically. "THE UNPARALLELED, UNIMAGINABLY ALMIGHTY LEPIDOLITE HAS FINALLY RETURNED!"

"Oh geez, she can fuse too?" Lapis snarled before turning to Jasper. "Hey Jasper, wanna join in?"

"Whatever." Jasper said and the two formed into the turquoise and gold-colored Malachite.

"Well, you know what to do Eyeball." Aquamarine said as she took the Ruby's hand and twirled in place before they formed Bluebird Azurite and unsheathed her ice cutlass & a flaming saber.

"Gems, now!" Garnet gave the order to attack and led the charge against the four rebels. However, Greg was feeling a little left out.

"Uh, what about me?" Greg asked as the battle began. "If only I could still make Steg." However, Greg quickly saw Lion rising beneath him and making the father ride on his back. "Oh, well that should suffice." Greg smiled before he made Lion gallop into combat. "WOLVERINES!"

--

Lepidolite roared as she threw a punch at Malachite, who caught it in one of her hands and fought back by launching a geyser at Lepidolite's face, sending her flying towards Peridot, who sent Bismuth soaring before the rainbow Gem smacked Lepidolite into the sand with her hammer.

"Feeling a little outmatched?" Malachite boasted with her arms folded.

"Child's play!" Lepidolite growled while summoning her claws and slashing Malachite in the torso. However, Malachite quickly grabbed Lepidolite by the arms and summoned Jasper's crash helmet to give her a nasty headbutt. "Topaz, what are you doing?" the Black Rutile half of Lepidolite asked. "Pull your weight and help me here!"

"But it's the four of us against all the Crystal Gems, the Diamonds, and even a Spinel!" the White Topaz half replied as Malachite began punching Lepidolite at rapid speed. "We're so outmatched here, let's just un-fuse and surrender so we won't have to risk our lives against such an unfair numbers advantage."

"Oh shut up!" Black Rutile yelled before Lepidolite received another punch to the face. However, Lepidolite just as quickly stabbed Malachite with her claws and slowly dragged them up her torso up to her face, hitting both Lapis & Jasper's gems and causing them to un-fuse.

"I got you guys!" Greg shouted as Lion leaped up and he caught the two Gems on his back. Lion then followed up with a roar aimed straight at Bluebird while she was fighting Opal, who was sent flying towards Spinel.

"Comin' at ya!" Spinel exclaimed before she began dribbling Bluebird like a basketball and flung her at some of Black Rutile's robot minions, who were firing at the Diamonds.

"Well, at least we tried with Malachite." Lapis said while getting up before she turned to Peridot. "Hey Peridot, wanna give it a shot!"

"Gladly!" Peridot exclaimed and raced over to her bestie.

"Wait, what?" Jasper asked as she watched her former cohorts fuse into Turquoise. "Since when can you do that?!"

"Don't ask, just fight!" Turquoise declared while forming a set of three swords out of liquid metal from the air to use, two in her hands and one between her teeth.

"Right." Jasper agreed as she prepared to charge. "Let's kill her properly this time."

--

Amid the chaos, Volleyball and Lemon Jade were left trying to escape harm with no idea what to do in battle, as they had never engaged in combat before.

"What are we going to do?!" Lemon Jade yelled while shaking Pink Pearl in her hands.

"I have no idea!" Volleyball replied. "I did fuse before, but it wasn't really for fighting an enemy." That was when she got an idea. "Wait, hold on!"

Volleyball ran towards Opal, who was busy shooting down Black Rutile's robots with her arrows when she felt something pulling down at her drape. "Oh, do you need something Volleyball?"

"Can I fuse with you Pearl so I can protect Jade?" Volleyball asked Opal.

"In the middle of something, but that's a definite possibility." Opal replied, unaware of the robot that was now hovering behind her.

"TARGET OPAL CONFIRMED. COMMENCE UN-FUSING." The robot droned and sent out an electric shock that forced Opal back into Pearl & Amethyst.

"Well ain't that a coincidence." Amethyst snarked as the two Pearls fused into Mega Pearl. "It's like she planned for this!"

"She planned for everything Amethyst." Mega Pearl responded before slashing away at robots that were cornering Lemon Jade.

--

Meanwhile, Turquoise was engaged in a swordfight against Bluebird Azurite, her metal katanas against Bluebird's ice and fire swords. "This is what you get for taking Steven and causing Lapis to leave me!" Turquoise yelled as she tried to stab Bluebird in any opening she could find.

"Oh, did kidnapping Steven hurt you that much?" Bluebird snickered. "I wouldn't have guessed judging by how you never show up." The smaller fusion quickly disarmed Turquoise and prepared to go in for the kill, but she had another thing coming.

"Got this from a manga." Turquoise grinned cheekily while cupping all four of her hands to her side and sticking them out, launching a torrent of water at Bluebird's face.

As for the Diamonds, they were busy protecting Steven from the robots by swatting them away. "These things are multiplying by the second!" Blue said while smashing drones to the ground so that the surviving Watermelon Stevens could dismantle them. "We have to get Steven somewhere safe so we can calm him down!"

"Everyone's trying their hardest, but Black Rutile just keeps coming back up." Yellow replied.

"Don't despair, we can win this!" White added, confident that they could still win the day somehow when she spotted something in the distance. "Wait, what are those?”

--

"Get a move on everyone, we're wasting daylight here!" Wade Grant barked to his men from his Humvee as the US Army advanced towards Beach City. As their goal was only to capture the Crystal Gems, they didn't need massive tanks, only jeeps, armored vans, and helicopters to get the job done. As the seaside town grew closer and closer, some of the army men felt the need to converse among themselves.

"So, do you think it might be sexist to capture a bunch of alien women?" one of the soldiers driving an armored van asked his companion.

"I'm not sure." The other soldier replied. "From what I've heard, they only look like women. They kinda don't have any gender since they're like, holograms projected by rocks. Holograms that happen to look female."

"Yeah but are there male Gems out there somewhere?" the first soldier continued. "How do they even procreate, if possible?"

"Beats me, they don't look like they have the goods, if you catch my drift." The second soldier wiggled his eyebrows. "Y'know, nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!"

"Yes, I catch your drift, no need to reference old-timey British comedy." The first soldier groaned before turning on the radio. "Sir, we're nearing Beach City. Permission to be the first to step out?"

"Permission granted Private Eric." Wade accepted over the radio as the two soldiers' van rolled up to Beach City, where its citizens were already evacuating.

"Excuse me, we'd like a word with the mayor of this town." Private Eric said as he and his partner stepped out.

"That's me, Mayor Pizza." Nanafua declared as she walked up to the pair. "Now what brings the military here?"

"We're on official business here Mayor Pizza." Eric stated. "Are you aware you have been housing aliens that have been threatening your planet regularly?"

"Oh, the Gems? They're pretty harmless." Nanafua laughed. "Though that giant monster is a bit concerning."

"Everyone step aside, Black Rutile has convinced us those Gems need to be placed under arrest." Wade stepped forward and prepared a special anti-Gem weapon made from the remains of the Destiny Destroyer. "We won't use lethal force against you all, but we strongly urge you to let us through if you want your planet to live."

The armed forces began marching towards the pink monster menacing Beach City as the townsfolk nervously stepped aside to allow them to pass. Though they treasured the Gems, they couldn't bear to be victims of yet another incident relating to them.

--

"Get back here!" Lepidolite roared as she chased Connie around and clashed her claws with the girl's sword. "Don't think you've won yet just because you've trained with that rotten Pearl!"

"That's what you think!" Connie yelled before she slashed at Lepidolite's arm, causing the fusion to yell.

"How can we be hurt just like that?!" the Black Rutile half of Lepidolite muttered before looking accusingly at no one in particular while beginning to destabilize. "Seriously Topaz, why can't you contribute?!"

"Seriously, can't you read my lips?!" White Topaz yelled. "I want out!" Suddenly, the two Gems split apart and fell to the ground. Black Rutile fell face-first and spat out some sand before glaring daggers at her bodyguard.

"Does it look like I care?" Black Rutile said. "Besides, we should be getting some back up real soon."

"Wait, back up?" Mega Pearl wondered before she got shot down by a weapon resembling a Gem Destabilizer and forced back into Pearl & Volleyball.

"Fan out, take down anything with a star!" Wade Grant gave out orders while his men zapped the Crystal Gems with their Destabilizer-like weapons, managing to take down Turquoise, Garnet, Amethyst, Bismuth, and Jasper before forcing them into a truck.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Jasper roared as she was herded like cattle into the truck with the other Gems.

"You're finally getting the Earth justice you deserve." Black Rutile declared smugly. "When this planet's government learned of your exploits, the leader tried to make an address that I hacked into and used to expose you to the world. Hope you enjoy confinement!"

"You won't get away with this!" Pearl yelled rebelliously before she, Volleyball, and one of the Watermelon Stevens were forced into the truck as two of the soldiers looked up at Steven and the Diamonds.

"What do we do with them?" Private Eric wondered.

"No need, I got this." Black Rutile bragged, taking Aquamarine's wand and using it to imprison the three Diamonds in a forcefield.

"Hey, you let them go!" Spinel yelled before she found herself getting trapped in the bubble as well, along with Lemon Jade.

"Uh, what is going on?" Greg asked before the major general walked up to him.

"There is no need to panic sir, we are simply following orders." Wade answered calmly. "Alright, move out! We're bringing them to Area 42!"

"Area 42?!" Connie exclaimed. "What are you going to do with them there?!"

"Just gonna ask some questions followed by deciding their fates, no big." Wade responded as he hopped into his Humvee and drove off while turning on his radio. "Gems have been captured, I repeat, Gems have been captured. Requesting a lift to Area 42 in Calivada, over."

As the military drove away with the Gems in tow, Bluebird Azurite picked up Black Rutile & White Topaz before she flew them away from the beach, the combined weight of the Diamonds, Steven, Spinel, and Lemon Jade in the bubble having no effect on her.

"So Crystal Gems," Black Rutile laughed evilly. "Who are you going to believe in now?!"

--

With the Crystal Gems in government custody, Black Rutile is just a few steps closer to victory. But what plans does she have in store for the Diamonds, what fate shall await the Crystal Gems at Area 42, and do White Topaz's loyalties still lie with Black Rutile? You're just gonna have to wait and see.

[robinrunsfiction]

Irresistible - Chapter 1

Pairing: Pete Wentz x Female Reader Rating: Teen Requested By: None Author’s Note: Although not specifically requested by her, all my Pete Wentz stories are dedicated to @glittercupcakes-and-squats. Also this is written in first person because it felt right. I know I don’t do that a lot, but I hope you all enjoy!

It was a quiet Thursday afternoon as I busied myself organizing and straightening up the display cases of glittering diamonds and other gems set into gold and platinum. Working in one of the most high-end jewelry stores in Chicago was a unique experience, and I had been working there for long enough to know what I was doing.

You don’t become the top earning salesperson in a store like this by gossiping and being inattentive. I had worked hard to build up a reputation of trust and confidentiality. Men came in one day with their wives, then with their mistress the next, and I knew not to mix up the two. Trust fund kids came in and blew tons of cash on watches and earrings that they lost in no time but had to replace to maintain their social status, but I never scolded them or mentioned it when their parents came in. The nouveau riche came in to spend as much money as possible to show off, and as much as I wanted to call them out on their lack of taste, they tended to be the best customers, throwing around money like it was nothing. To the wealthy what mattered was what everyone else thought about them, the first impression they made without saying a word. Image was everything.

When the door opened, and a couple of men walked in, I instantly eyed them up. They were a little old and too nicely dressed to be trust fund kids, no rings on their fingers meant they were single, or at least acting like it that afternoon. I could stand to earn a healthy commission if I played my cards right. They browsed the displays for a moment before I approached them with my best customer service face on.

“Good afternoon gentlemen, can I help you find something in particular?”

“I’m looking for a birthday present,” the one with the dark brown hair and eyes replied. He looked familiar, I’m certain he’s been in here before, but not often enough that I know him by name. Not to mention he was good looking; the gift is probably for one of his many girlfriends. “Maybe some earrings?”

“Is this for a significant other, spouse, family?”

“Oh, just a friend,” he grinned. Yep, called it.

“How about these?” his friend asked pointing to a pair of studs down the way. He seemed nervous and a bit overwhelmed. He wasn’t the type to usually shop in a place like this, but it wouldn’t be surprising if he was back one day looking for an engagement ring to impress a girl with expensive taste.

I moved down the counter and bent down to retrieve them from the case. Standing back up, I leaned forward, making the low-cut neckline of my black dress help make the sale for me. “These are gorgeous, and they’re very classic. You have a good eye,” I replied while shooting a smile to the friend. He smiled back shyly. What a sweetheart.

“Yea Trick, those are nice, but what else do you have?” The first man asked with a million-dollar smile. I smiled back, if he was looking to drop some money, I was more than willing to oblige.

“I have some just down here that you may appreciate, just one moment,” I replied as I hurried down the row of counters. Just then Bernard, the owner of the store, came out from his office.

“Pete! So good to see you!” He greeted the dark-haired man warmly with a handshake.

“Bernard, how are you doing? I see business is still booming.”

“Of course, thanks to the likes of you and your father,” he said with a knowing laugh. “Come, I have brand new Rolex I want you to see. Come, come,” he said ushering him along to a different counter.

I was fuming. Bernard had personal relationships with so many of his customers, which was to be expected, but it meant he frequently stole sale from me. Old bastard.

I put away the earrings I had pulled to show them and stomped into the back office. One day I’d have my own store and I’d run Bernard out of business. He’d come crawling to me for a job, selling my designs instead of the same old Rolex every executive in the Chicagoland area already wore.

I glanced at my phone and saw Christine had texted me and Jennifer about going out for happy hour. After an afternoon like this, there was no way I wasn’t going out.

~

When I got to the club, the girls were already there, and had a drink waiting for me. They’re too good to me, honestly. Jennifer was an investment banker who worked too damn hard in my opinion, so the fact that Christine got her out of her apartment after work was a miracle unto itself. Christine was a walking good time. A professional photographer with a rock star boyfriend, honestly if I could be her, I would.

“Not a good day today?” Jennifer asked as I sat down.

“Just the same old bull, ya know?” I replied before taking a swig of my drink. The club was loud, and I vaguely felt like we were getting too old for this scene. “I get that Bernard knows these people, but I’m building my own client base, future clients, and they aren’t going to come to me when I get out on my own if they don’t remember me.”

“Well maybe if you focused on something besides your job, you wouldn’t worry about your job so much,” Christine suggested knowingly.

I rolled my eyes. “Easy for you to say, you got like the hottest man on earth, you work for yourself, and travel everywhere whenever you want.”

“Speaking of hot guys though,” Jennifer piped up. “That one keeps looking over at you, (YN).”

I tried to keep it cool and not obviously stare the direction she was looking, but I had to admit I was surprised when I saw who she was talking about.

Pete.

“Oh, I met him today in the store, he was buying a gift for a friend,” I said turning back to my friends. I could trust these two not to spread any gossip around. They were as discreet as me, ya know except for when I was telling them everything.

“That must be the lucky lady,” Christine said as a tiny blonde thing in a tiny dress opened gifts. “Ope, (YN), she’s all over your man, he must have got her something good.”

“He is not my man. He wouldn’t ever be my man, even if he was interested in me. I know how these rich playboys operate. I’m not looking to be cheated on, I’m not looking to be a side piece, I’m no fool. I gotta find someone sensible like Kingston.”

Christine scoffed. “Did you just call my man child of a boyfriend, a musical genius, but otherwise loveable idiot, sensible?”

“Ok, you know what I mean, he’s loyal, that’s rare these days.”

“That’s true,” Jennifer chimed in.

“Excuse me, I hate to interrupt, but were you helping me at the jewelry store earlier?” I heard Pete ask. My friends were looking at me with wide eyes, wondering how I’d respond. I turned and looked up at him and he was flashing that with that same million-dollar smile.

I nodded in response. “Yea, hi. It’s Pete, right? Did Bernard get you what you needed?”

“That, and then some,” he laughed, adjusting the watch on his wrist. Subtle.

“Good I’m glad,” I smiled politely. Why was he over here talking to me when there were half a dozen girls waiting to fawn over him at his table. I spotted his friend from earlier, who still looked uncomfortable. Poor guy.

“I felt badly that Bernard interrupted, and I didn’t get your name,” he said with a soft look.

“Oh, right, I’m (YN),” I said extending my hand for a handshake, intending to keep things professional. “Yea, he does that sometimes, but he owns the place, so what can I do?”

“Well (YN), I was wondering if you’d like to dance?”

I could feel my friends’ eyes drilling in the back of my head, I could practically hear them yell ‘yes!’ for me, but I wasn’t convinced. “Aren’t you here with the girl you bought those earrings for? Or maybe another girl who you’ll be in buying earrings for eventually?”

“Don’t worry about it, they’re just friends,” he laughed.

“I don’t believe you,” I said shaking my head.

“(YN)!” I heard Jennifer scolding me.

“Why not?” Pete looked offended.

“I know your type. Always showing off with the expensive clothes, and cars and lavish gifts and parties to impress girls who just like the big bank account. But you don’t really mind, because you aren’t looking for something serious. You’re just having fun,” I shrugged.

“You should give me a chance,” he said with a look that almost made me believe him. But I wasn’t going to be swayed that easily.

“Why? I’m not looking to get my heart broken and an expensive necklace as a consolation prize.”

“I’m not like the other guys that come into your store,” he said sincerely. At this point he was crouching down to my level where I sat, looking in my eyes, but I willed myself to stay strong. There was absolutely no denying that he was gorgeous, but that wouldn’t keep the gold diggers away. Just the opposite.

“Sorry Pete, it’s late, and I gotta open up the shop tomorrow. I’ll see you the next time you stop by,” I said taking the last sips of my drink and turning back to my friends. “Either of you wanna share an Uber?”

“What is wrong with you?” Christine practically growled when Pete was out of earshot.

“I’m tired and I wanna go home, and like I said, I don’t wanna be a side piece! Now are we sharing an Uber or not?”

Chapter 2

[365daysofmchart]

Reflecting on McHart: 3x02

Well, my post on last week’s episode was well received (thanks for all of the likes and replies!) and this week’s episode gave us SO MUCH, so I’m back with another post breaking down and delving into every little thing relating to Mr. and Mrs. McVeigh! (Yes, I did just say that.) And I essentially do mean everything, because my God, this thing is so freaking long it is absolutely ridiculous and I am so sorry... but you should all definitely read anyway ‘cause I spent too much damn time on this for you to not, LOL! (What a pitch, that was! HA!)

Once again, spoilers below! Hope you enjoy!!!

Breaking down scenes:

1. Diane is doing a full on investigation because she is still determined to find out exactly what happened when her husband was shot by the lil Trumpkins, NDA be damned! He’s told her he’s fine, I’m sure that at this point she can see herself that he’s fine... but she still just needs to know every detail of what happened because THEY SHOT HER HUSBAND AND THEY CANNOT JUST GET AWAY WITH IT JUST LIKE THAT. And yeah... I’m sure the politics factor in too, but I think that most of it is genuinely her grappling with how these men boys shot him and acted like nothing happened, silenced him. I think it breaks her heart a little bit and she just needs some kind of justice, even if it only means her herself learning the truth.

2. His little “bows,” oh my heart! And I very intentionally used quotations because he really just tied little ribbons around the bottles with little knots, but HE TRIED. Oh, he tried! And if he’s this helpless here, then that definitely means that every gift we’ve seen him give her he’s taken to be professionally wrapped, which I really don’t think is a Kurt thing at all, but he knows she does appreciate things like nicely wrapped gifts and he just wants things to be so nice and pretty and perfect for herrrrrr. Also, I feel as though Kurt is thoughtful, but not necessarily romantic, but they’ve been working towards creating this life together for so long now and it’s finally here, and so this man that hates anything “girly” decided that he and his wife have something to celebrate, and you know what would make this news even better, what will make her happy? Little bows. (And she is delighted!) But he’s not very good with those. BUT HE TRIES. Ugh.

3. “Are we celebrating?” “We are. We got a job.” WE. I mean, he got a job, but apparently he’s using “we” ‘cause they’re a unit and they share victories and also it means that THEY FINALLY HAVE THIS LIFE THAT THEY’VE BEEN FIGHTING FOR TOGETHER. And she’s so excited for him and she does that little, bitty, mini fist pump, but then you can see how deflated and concerned she suddenly is when it occurs to her that perhaps it will take him away, BUT NO, IT’S BASED IN CHICAGO AND OH MY GOODNESS SHE IS SO ELATED AND SO IS HE.

4. “Yes, Mrs. McVeigh.” “Oh!...  Mr. McVeigh!” “Well, uh, you might decide it’s time to take my name.” SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE, OH MY GOOD LORD!!!! Breaking this whole exchange down into subparts, okay?

    a. When he refers to her as Mrs. McVeigh, there’s no significant reaction from her, meaning THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME HE HAS REFERRED TO HER AS MRS. McVEIGH!!!!! So just how often does he refer to her as such? Does she ever refer to herself as Mrs. McVeigh? What happened the first time he uttered those words to her? How often is Mrs. McVeigh used as foreplay? I need to know all of these things!

    b. For a singular kiss, that was a good kiss, guys--a solid liplock. And her hand on his cheek and his arm around her back that slowly moves up higher and higher to the back of her neck to pull her in closer, then her “Mmm...” as they pull apart? YES, I WOULD LIKE MORE OF THIS CONTENT IN THE FUTURE, PLEASE.

    c. And between kisses, he’s talking but they’re still holding each other so close and sort of swaying in each other’s arms and looking at each other with such adoration and joy, and my God, those two are so in love and so happy with one another and YES, THIS IS EVERYTHING THEY DESERVE, AND DAMN IT, IT IS EVERYTHING THAT WE DESERVE TOO.

    d. Taking his name. She might “decide” it’s time to take his name. Even while joking he's respectful of the fact that it is very much so her decision! And he is, in fact, joking--surely he would be honored and thrilled if she did so, but he’s not making a serious pitch here, he’s fully accepting of her decision and not at all pushing.

    ...That being said though, I wonder if this is something that bothers him at all, deep down. Again, he obviously accepts her decision and I’m sure he knew very well that that was going to be the case before it was even discussed. However, he is very much a man’s-man, and he has conservative leanings (also see my notes from last week’s post, in point 8), and I think it wouldn’t be entirely shocking to discover that deep down there is a part of him that wishes she would take his name (even if only to have that bond of sharing a name). I don’t know if he has ever broached the subject seriously in the past (again, I’m sure her keeping her name was an assumption from the start), but I think it wouldn’t be totally surprising if he (or perhaps she???) carefully brought it up once she retired (if that day ever comes, lol), when there were fewer practical reasons for her to keep her name. Or perhaps, if it actually is something that bothers him (and it very well may not), he’ll still forever keep it buried within because he’d never want to pressure her in any way, and though a part of him wishes they could have that, another part of him loves her for being a strong woman who has worked hard and built her name/reputation and wants to keep that identity intact in every way. ...Just some thoughts.

5. "Is it possible for you to get past your hatred for them?" Point taken, Kurt, but also... THEY LITERALLY SHOT YOU. (It's not just political! ...Though it is that too, haha.) Does he keep forgetting that??? Also, we haven't had all that many opportunities to see his protective side, but I have a feeling that, if their roles were reversed, he'd have a little trouble getting past someone shooting his wife and delaying medical attention, too!

6. "Can we just be happy for a minute?" Are we slowly spiraling from (or into?) that season-opening scene? (Update: Christine Baranski actually talked about this a bit in a video posted by The Good Fight)

7. SHE THOUGHT SHE’D SURPRISE HIM WITH COMING HOME EARLY.

8. Their whole little exchange, their repartee, is so adorable! ...But also, within that, they’re joking around about him going on a date with two other women (and Diane brought it up) and I think that really speaks to where they are in having moved past the whole Holly ordeal. (Again, while she had suspicions last week, they were based on his legitimate lies, which makes those suspicions totally valid.)

9. And we get both a “Whoa-ho, you look sexy,” and a “What’s up, handsome?” in under 60 seconds, and then there’s her tucking in his shirt and fixing his tie, and also, since when is Diane like a foot shorter than him??? LOL! Oh my God, I love it so much! 

And, well, Kurt tried to keep her away, but no such luck! HA! And I think the poor man knew it was over as soon as she declared she was coming. AND OH, THAT SARCASM AND SASS I LOVE IT!!! And I think I said this last week too, but while it may annoy him a bit at times, Kurt definitely loves it too!

10. Oh, Kurt and his pre-Republican function pep talks! He tries... he knows his wife and he’s gotta at least try. It doesn’t work, of course, clearly. But he tries. And then apparently after a certain point of it not working he resorts to subtly stepping on his wife’s foot to get his message across, LOL!!! 

I must admit, I really love the irony that she’s having a way better time at this Republican fundraiser than he is, haha. ...You know what I love more though? How uncomfortable Kurt looks that entire time. Look, I’m sure that some of it has to do with Diane, but I think a lot of it has to do with his morals alone. He may be conservative politically, but he’s not down with racist bullshit, so at least we’ve got that going for us. ...Or, rather, he’s got it going for him.

11. *Siiiighhh* Kurt is such a party pooper! But okay, real talk though... how confident are we that Diane actually deleted that recording? Cause look, I want to be confident, but... Diane is in a certain kind of place these days and I would not quite put it past her to have deleted another random recording instead. But I hope not. Because, really guys, could you both please just do the honesty thing this time around??? 

Anyway, assuming that she wasn’t bullshitting him, I find that whole thing very sweet. Yes, she had her fun, but she sees that perhaps she’s pushed it just a bit too far for her husband and she gives in, deleting it, to make him rest easier.

(As your resident McHart investigator, I looked closely at the deletion and 1) the file is only 9 seconds, which seems a little short 2) ...The file name still exists in there after it’s “deleted”??? There also weren’t any recordings above it though, so that’s something, meaning it was likely the latest. ...All of that being said, I would not advise reading too much into it because it’s graphics and her phone also reads 12:01 PM (when it is clearly not noon) as well as shows 80% battery--the latter is totally plausible, of course, but also doesn’t seem entirely legit either, ya feel?)

12. THEY ARE IN BED HOLDING HANDS FOR THE SECOND TIME IN AS MANY EPISODES, WHO DOES THAT?!?!?! (OUR SHIP DOES THAT and I am HERE FOR IT, HOLY SHIT, WHY ARE THEY SO ADORABLLLLE) And then her little 🎶 Back together agaaain... 🎶 I can’t. SO FREAKING CUTE. On that note though, it also felt oddly narrative to me, as though it was a sort of nod to the audience. I’m not sure if it was because it sort of punctuated the scene--their scenes of the episode--if it was the sing-song tone, or how it ended with a blackout, but yeah... it just felt like somewhat of a statement to me. Anyone else get that vibe? (I’m obviously not going to weigh this too heavily, but just thought I’d share how I read it all.)

Standout Lines:

“Hans and Franz, your safari buddies...”

“...Their baby zebra barbecue that they scheduled?!”

“...And that trumps everything else.” “Oh, DON’T USE THAT WORD!” “And that’s more important than anything else.” “ERRRRRR...” *MOMENT OF APPRECIATION FOR KURT’S FACES THROUGHOUT THIS EXCHANGE*

“Oh, I’m coming.” “Diane...”

“Eric and Don?! I have lived my life for this moment! Oh! ...Ooh, what should I wear?” *Got this whole damn thing italicized cause that sarcasm tho

“Me?? I’m just here to be a supportive spouse!” “Uh-huh.”

Other things:

I need that plaid wrap of Diane’s in my life!

We’ve seen Kurt in a white button-down both last week and this week (with only seeing him in one in a single other instance in nine past seasons, on their wedding day) and look, I’m not complaining, but... idk, it feels weird?

I’m going to spare you all a solid two paragraphs on the closet situation (...for now, anyway), but just... the closet situation.

By the end of this season I’m definitely gonna need a Diane-in-Pajamas roundup post.

Why are they always (and by always I of course mean in the two scenes we’ve had of them sleeping in bed thus far) only under the sheet with no duvet??? Does anyone else sleep like that on a regular basis (when not in a tropical climate/it isn’t summer)? I certainly don’t and no one else in the Good-verse has (including them in the past), so WHY IS THIS A THING?!?! Totally appreciate Kurt's shirtless sleeping habit though.

Was kind of hoping the axe throwing was going to start out as a cute McHart date night, but I suppose Diane getting out her aggressions is nice too. ...But I would 110% not be opposed to her bringing him along one evening!

In conclusion:

Guys. The unintelligible noises and flaling that came from me while watching this episode... I could. not. deal. Their scenes were all just so entirely lovely. And after everything (and by everything I don’t only mean the Good Wife finale aftermath, but also how drawn out their relationship was before that) it’s so wonderful and rewarding to see! And it’s funny--I remember a few seasons into TGW I came up with a McHart wishlist of sorts, and now, a few more years (though admittedly quite the journey) down the road and... I think that just about everything has been checked off??? (...Except for her wearing one of his shirts. And given they’ve got her in fancy robes and pajamas and slippers WITH HEELS this year, I’m not gonna hold my breath on that one, lol.) HOW LUCKY ARE WE?!?!? (Still could’ve gone without that affair though, and I’m still bitter.)

What’s still on your McHart wishlist?!?! (DON’T JUST TELL ME A SEX SCENE GUYS THOUGH. COME ON, ISN’T THAT ON JUST ABOUT EVERYONE’S LIST?!?! Be a little more creative! LOL!)

It’s looking like no McHart next week but WE STILL HAVE SO MANY MORE EPISODES TO COME!!! ...Two down, five to go!

Now, with that, this has gone on for long enough (too long,) and so, I’ll wish you all a good week! As always, fell free to message via ask or reply!

-E

...Oh, and once again, I am so sorry that this was so long! ...But, hey, I guess the last one was pretty long too, and you all seemed to like that one just fine, haha.

[tempestaurora]

WHUMPVEMBER #17: DRUGGED

AO3

It happened on a mission.

A sonic burst loud enough to bring Peter to his knees, to make Tony in his armour stagger back against a wall. It lasted for only a second before War Machine broke through the ceiling and quickly dispatched the bad guys.

Peter had the fight in play-by-plays in his head. The entrance (kicking down the door), the fight (long and bloody) and the moment before the sonic burst, where the bad guys argued, one of them yelled that they didn’t know what the device did yet, and another said screw it, do it anyway.

Then it went off.

And Peter’s ears were still ringing after the police had surrounded the warehouse and Tony was helping Spiderman walk out of the building. The Channel 6 news was just pulling up to call for a statement when Peter groaned, shaking his head.

“You alright there, kid?” Tony asked, the helmet having receded into the rest of the armour.

“No,” Peter muttered, then frowned. Had he meant to say that? “My ears still hurt.”

“I’ll call the doc to meet us at the tower,” Tony replied, glancing back to see Rhodey in the War Machine get up talking to the head police officer on site. Then he looked back to the news crew approaching. “Oh crap.”

“What?”

“Katherine Everhart.”

“What about her?” Peter asked.

“We fucked once.” Peter looked up at him suddenly, a confused expression on Tony’s face. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

Katherine Everhart appeared in Peter’s peripheral, the camera rushing along behind her. “Mr Stark,” she announced, “Spiderman. Christine Everhart, can you give us a statement about what happened here today?”

Peter looked to Tony, still in his mentor’s grip. “You got her name wrong.”

“I know I got her name wrong,” Tony replied, quiet, despite Christine’s raised eyebrow. “There were bad guys, we took them down.”

“Lots of bad guys,” Peter agreed.

“Do you know what organisation they worked for?” Christine asked, following along as Tony and Peter limped to the edge of the property.

“Yes,” Tony said. “It’s-”

“Classified,” Rhodey interrupted suddenly, appearing by Tony’s side. “Nice to see you again, Miss Everhart. We’ve gotta go. You okay to fly, Spidey?”

“Oh?” Peter asked, looking to Rhodey. “I’m okay to fly though I might throw up over Brooklyn if I do.” There was a beat, then Peter added: “But I’m wearing my mask so I’ll probably just throw up in my own face.”

Rhodey and Tony both blinked at him and Christine seemed lost for words.

“We should get going,” Rhodey announced, and as soon as Tony agreed, Peter was gripped tightly by the Iron Man armour and they shot off across New York.

Peter didn’t vomit during the trip, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying.

 -

 “Still in pain?” Tony asked when they reached the medbay.

Peter yanked off his mask to sit on the bed as Tony pulled an MIT sweatshirt on. Peter shook his head. “My ears don’t hurt anymore.”

“That’s good,” the doctor said with a nod, before starting the check up.

Peter squinted at Tony’s sweatshirt. “I like it,” he said when Tony raised an eyebrow.

“I stole it from Rhodey,” Tony replied. “I don’t know where my one is.”

The doctor checked Peter’s ears and gave him a full body scan, before frowning at an area of his brain lighting up on FRIDAY’s systems.

“Have you taken any drugs recently?” the doctor asked without looking at him.

Peter shrugged. “Not recently.”

Tony raised a pointed eyebrow. “Does that mean you’ve taken drugs not recently?”

Peter blinked. He knew the right answer was to say no, but- “How recently is not recently?”

“Peter.”

“Mr Stark.”

The doctor clicked at the keyboard in the background as the two of them stared off.

“Peter, have you taken recreational drugs before?”

No. Of course not. Never in my life. “Yes.” Jesus Christ, Peter. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

Tony stared at him and Peter wasn’t sure if he could work out the rage from the confusion. When he spoke, he did so incredibly slowly. “Peter Benjamin Parker. What recreational drugs have you taken?”

Peter’s mouth didn’t want to move. He didn’t want it to. He would do anything to just not open it and say: “I smoked weed a few times and then I went to a party and I think I tried E-”

“PETER-”

“-But my metabolism meant I couldn’t really feel the effect of it so it was like I didn’t take it at all.”

The room was entirely silent. Even the doctor was staring at Peter.

“I didn’t mean to say that, either.”

Just as Tony opened his mouth to no doubt ban Peter from drugs, drinking, Spiderman and possibly TV for the rest of his life, the doctor interrupted. “What do you mean, you didn’t mean to say that? What did you mean to say?”

“I meant to lie,” Peter replied with zero hesitation.

“Has this been going on for long?”

“Just since I got here, really.”

“Did anything happen on the mission to affect you in this way?”

There was a pause before Peter looked over to Tony. “That sound,” he said. “There was a noise – it took me down. Mr Stark got hit with it, too.”

The doctor nodded slowly. “And now you keep speaking without meaning to. You keep telling the truth when you don’t want to.”

“Yeah.”

The doctor turned to Tony and tilted his head. “Mr Stark, I’ve been told you’re fourteen months sober. Is that true?”

“No,” Tony replied, his eyes growing wide at how his mouth moved so fast. “I’m like three and a half weeks sober.”

“Mr Stark!”

Tony looked at Peter with his jaw clenched. Still, he said, “Being sober is really difficult. I went about four months without a drink and that’s my record.”

The room was silent, the three looking between each other as it dawned on them what was going on.

“Well,” the doctor said, moving back to his keyboard. “It seems you two can only tell the truth. I’ll call the team in to start working on a fix, but I do recommend you don’t leave the tower in case you say something you usually wouldn’t.”

“I’ll be fine,” Peter said.

The doctor raised an eyebrow but didn’t look away from the screen. “Peter, are you Spiderman?”

“Yes.” Peter blinked. “I see your point.”

 -

 Tony and Peter sat across from each other at the kitchen table. A few floors down, the doctors were working on the fix, while Rhodey had been sent away and Vision – well, Vision was never there anyway. Tony had given his phone to the doctor and gotten him to text May that Peter was staying the night – he really didn’t need Peter blabbing to May when she was the one person who had higher authority than Tony about whether Spiderman was allowed to come and play or not.

So they stared at each other, neither wanting to speak in case they said something they shouldn’t – but Peter should’ve recognised the look on Tony’s face, that he had a plan brewing.

“So, kid,” Tony started.

“I don’t want to do this,” Peter interrupted. “This is a bad idea.”

“You got a girlfriend?”

Peter glared. “No.”

“Boyfriend?”

“No.”

“You got a crush on anyone?”

Peter tried to hum to keep his voice at bay, but he still said, “There’s this guy in my Lit class.”

Tony raised his eyebrows and shrugged. “Is he cute?”

“Yes and I’m not doing this, Mr Stark. We should spend the rest of the day apart until the doctors can fix this.”

“What if they can’t?” Tony asked, though his voice was toying. “What if we’re stuck telling the truth forever?”

“Then you and Pepper are going to have to start going to marriage counselling,” Peter replied.

“We already go to marriage counselling and we’re not even married yet.”

There was a pause. “Really?”

Tony shrugged to look as if he was indifferent about it, but he averted his gaze all the same. “Yeah.”

“How come?”

“I fly around all day in a tin can. I worry her a lot. It’s healthy, apparently, to go to therapy for that.”

Peter hesitated, then, “You’re really not fourteen months sober?”

“No.”

“You never told me.”

“I didn’t want to worry you. Pepper and Rhodey don’t know, either, though I should probably tell them.” There was a long silence, in which the clock in the kitchen ticked every second and Peter wished they were closer to the ground so he could at least focus on the street noises. Peter understood when Tony changed the subject. “You never told me you were interested in boys.”

Peter shrugged, but he found himself staring at the table. “You never asked.”

“That’s true.”

“That’s how this works,” Peter replied. “I was planning to tell you eventually, but it’s not a big thing, you know? It’s just… part of me.”

“That’s cool. It’s part of me, too.”

Peter raised his eyes to see Tony’s face, but he didn’t need to really. Tony could only tell the truth.

“The press likes to forget that time I dated like four male models at once.”

Peter cracked a smile. So did Tony.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the drugs?” Tony asked, immediately making Peter frown.

“Because I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. Why did you ask me that? I thought we were having a moment.”

Tony sighed, then tipped his head back with a huff. “You wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure.”

“Anything to stop talking.”

They watched the first movie that came up on Netflix – which happened to be some sappy rom com. Neither of them paid much attention, hyper aware of the other and this curse they’d been afflicted with.

At some point during the film, Peter had started leaning against Tony’s side, and Tony had swung an arm around his shoulders.

“Tired?” Tony asked.

“I’m always tired.”

“Did you sleep much last night?”

“For like an hour,” Peter replied.

On screen, the main couple were arguing. In about twenty minutes they’d get back together again, so this really meant nothing to Peter.

“The drugs really didn’t affect you?” Tony asked, making Peter roll his eyes.

“Really,” Peter said. “I got a little happy for like a minute and then it was gone.”

“Why’d you take them?”

“I wanted to have fun. Would you mind waiting to ask these questions until I’m capable of lying?”

Tony snorted. “I’d mind.” Still he quietened until the main couple were finally kissing and making up and ready to walk off into the sunset together. Then he said, “I’m not gonna be disappointed in you for that sort of stuff.”

“You’re not?”

“It’s hypocritical, I guess, considering everything I’ve done and the lying about sobriety. But, Peter – I’ll be disappointed if you think you can’t come to me about it. If you think you have to lie to me.” On screen, the main couple started singing. Up to this point, the movie hadn’t been a musical. “I want you to be able to talk to me. To trust me.”

“I do trust you.”

“You do?”

“You’re like my dad, of course I do.”

Peter’s eyes widened and he stared steadfastly at the screen and pointedly not at Tony. You’re like my dad? Peter, stop talking.

“Would you, uh, would you mind repeating yourself there, buddy?”

“I’d mind.”

“Peter. Do you consider me a father-figure in your life?”

Peter turned to glare at Tony, who seemed particularly amused with the situation. “Yes,” he ground out.

Tony smiled and Peter shuffled until he was facing the screen again. There was a pre-choreographed music number with a large ensemble. Peter wasn’t sure they were watching the same movie as five minutes ago. He felt Tony pull him in close, his chin resting in Peter’s hair.

“Good.”

Peter’s voice was quiet. “Good?”

“Yeah, Pete. Good.”

He knew he’d regret asking if he didn’t like the response, but Peter Parker had never had a filter even before he could only tell the truth. “Mr Stark, do you consider me a son-figure?”

Tony didn’t hesitate, and all the warmth he could muster went into the words. “Yeah, Peter. I do.”

 -

 When Peter got up the next day, the first thing Tony asked when he walked into the kitchen was, “Hey, kiddo. What’s your crush’s name?”

“Uh… That’s confidential,” Peter replied.

Tony grinned at him. “I’m gonna find it out anyway, but it’s nice to know the truth thing wore off.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Oh, no way! I’ve never taken drugs before in my life! May’s cooking is great! The US military budget is not big enough! Mr Stark! I can lie again!”

Tony laughed. “Sure can, kid. You want pancakes or waffles?”

“Waffles,” Peter said, then when Tony moved, “That was a lie! I want pancakes! Mr Stark!”

“Yeah, like that’s not gonna get old real quick,” Tony muttered, moving to make the pancakes. Peter landed on the stool at the kitchen island.

“This is great,” Peter said. “I’m gonna lie so much. I’m gonna evade every question. I never realised how much I took it for granted.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Peter.”

“Mr Stark.”

“The truth thing lasted less than 24 hours, it’s not like we spent a year with it.”

“Sure, but I’m not gonna let my lying ability go to waste.”

“You’re terrible at lying, though.”

“Which is why I’m so happy to finally be able to practice again!”

Overhead, music filtered into the kitchen, Tony cooking at the stove and morning sunlight streaming through the windows. Peter rambled off every lie he could think of, while Tony rolled his eyes, smiling.

“I like Flash as a person. I’ve killed a man in cold blood. I’ve gone to the moon. I didn’t totally have a crush on Black Widow at age eleven. I’ve never been arrested-”

“What?”

“I’ve… uh-”

“Peter.”

“Oh… uh. Oh shit.”

[k-thequeen-writings]

Fandom Quest ch 7 (LONG)

                                                    Marvelous

“Nat, you need to kick higher if you’re ever going to decapitate a man,” Katy lectured the redhead assassin.

Clint was taking a break on the bench and chuckling at the women. During the past year in this fictional universe, Katy had begun to settle down in New York and work with SHIELD until Kate called her back.

“You’re kidding, right?” Natasha was panting at this point. For a kid, she had some stamina, along with a higher rank than herself, for some strange reason. “Ya know, you’ve barely worked with Clint this whole day. I think we should switch for a little.” Natasha smirked at her friend on the bench who quickly lost his own smirk.

Katy chuckled at the comment, glancing to Clint who seemed like he was trying to plan an escape. “Okay okay. Just one more kick try, then you’re done for the day,” Katy crossed her arms and took a step back, allowing the assassin the room she needed.

Natasha took a breath, trying not to groan as she prepared herself. That would be like showing weakness, besides, it was her last try. One last kick was all she needed to do. When she did, she kicked the head of the dummy off and across the room, a smile on her face when she saw what she had done. “Holy shit, I didn’t know I could do that!” Natasha exclaimed as Clint’s jaw dropped.

“The perks even a little bit of super-soldier serum. See you tomorrow.” With the praise and dismissal, Natasha set off in high spirits. “Okay, Clint. It’s your tu-” when Katy turned, she barely glimpsed the figure of a man running out of the room. She sighed, seemingly teleporting in front of Clint with her arms crossed. “Hey Clinty.”

The man staggered backwards, mumbling curse words and then smiling at Katy once he got his balance back again “I uh, was going to get a snack! Want anything?”

“Sure you were.” Katy grinned and patted his back before leading him back into the training room, “It’s not that bad, Clint! You only have like-” She looked down to her watch, noticing the date before the time. She hesitated to finish her sentence, obviously she was thinking about something. “Actually, I gotta go. You’re done for the day,” Katy said before rushing out of the room, leaving Clint no time to ask questions.

“Fury I-”

“God dammit Katy! How many times have I told you not to do your little teleporting thing directly into my office?” The man groaned, a hand on his chest as he calmed himself. He glared at the being in front of him.

Katy chuckled, slightly surprised she actually scared him. “I think this is the first time actually. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I’ll be gone for a few months. Page me if you need me earlier than my return date.”

“Months? When will you be back?”

Katy just smiled as she stood in the doorway, already halfway out. “When you need me.” Then she was gone and off to her apartment. A spring was in her step as she made her way home, it was almost time. Before she even reached the building, her expected phone call came, bringing a small smile to her face as she answered, “Your Majesty! Good to hear from you.”

Kate grinned on the other end of the phone, having missed the woman’s personality over this past year, “Hi Katy. I wanted to call and apologize for what happened last ti-”

“No need for that, Kate. You were understandably upset.”

“So you’re gonna come back?” She seemed excited and hopeful, mainly because she had a job for the “young” girl. But it was mostly because she was missing her friend, and over the time that had passed she’d forgiven Katy. It was at that moment Katy appeared in front of Kate who was working at her desk in the castle like she normally did.

Katy chuckled at the look on her friend’s face as she put her phone away, sighing with delight. “Of course. I’d never leave you for good. Oh! And congrats on the family.”

“You knew about that?” Kate didn’t wait for an answer before continuing, a soft smile on her face, “Of course you did, you know everything that happens.”

“Not everything to everyone, just my closest friends,” she winked, still standing in the room. Katy knew these friends in particular, Kate was her OC after all, and she did write the timeline. Chuck interfering and throwing in the Winchester’s parents was a surprise though. And so was the reason Castiel was the way he was. “You gonna ask your question?”

“Do I even have to?”

“Nope! My answer is yes, surprise surprise,” Katy said giddily.

Kate shook her head as she stood, giving Katy a quick hug then they walked out. “To the base it is, Sergeant Major,” both girls grinned at the title, one Katy would have for a while.

They got to the base and Kate made an announcement that Katy would be the new Sergeant Major of all the military forces, of course everyone listened. They all heard the story that Katy was the mastermind that freed them from their last ruler, and they all greatly respected her for doing so. The next few months consisted of Katy laying out rules approved by Kate, starting a few classified projects, and brutal training for everyone. Katy also got a new house close to the castle and close to the base. Somehow she was made a board member for Kate’s government, but no one objected to the motion.

“Sergeant Major?” Joe, Katy’s second in command spoke softly to the women as he stood at attention in front of her desk. He had gotten updates on a couple of Katy’s projects, and knew she’d want to see for herself. “Sergeant Major!” he raised his voice to get her attention, the women jumping out of her train of thought and looking wide-eyed at her friend.

“Sorry! I was thinking about something important,” she chuckled awkwardly, a light blush appearing on her face as she stood from her desk. “What is it?”

“Obviously,” he mumbled, a small smile on his face as he shook his head. “According to the officers working on the project, the first egg should be hatching soon,”

Katy’s eyes lit up, her smile showing how excited she was. To be professional, she cleared her throat, calmed her facial features, and straightened out the white coat of her uniform, “Fantastic. Let’s go see.” The women quickly left her office, Joe hot on her heels. The blue cape over her shoulder flew gently behind her as she walked and her boots thudded with each step, drawing attention to the pair as they walked down the halls.

“Did they say which breed was hatching first?”

“No Ma’am, they did not.”

“We’ll find out soon enough, then,” she sighed softly as they walked up to the lab, the two guards standing at attention and saluting to Katy before opening the doors before she had a chance to ask.

“Sergeant Major! Good to see you,” the head scientist smiled brightly at the girl, Katy responding the same smile.

“You too, Christine. Which egg was I informed about?”

The women’s eyes brightened, quickly leading her Sergeant Major to the incubator, if that’s what you’d call it. Off topic, that was exactly what the machine was called. “This one, ma’am.”

“Fantastic!” Katy clapped her hands together, biting her lip to hold back a smile. “Would you mind stepping out for a moment?” Katy looked behind her shoulder, all the workers patiently waiting for the first egg to hatch, “Like, now?”

“Of course,” Joe and Christine spoke in unison, the man glaring for a moment before ushering everyone out.

Katy sighed softly, taking off her gloves as the egg began to crack. “I can’t believe it worked,” she whispered to herself, the small smile appearing back on her face as black scales began to show. “Hey, little guy.”

Her smile widened as the baby dragon slowly broke out of the egg. She held her hands out, letting it sniff them for a moment, the dragon blowing flames onto one of her hands as she sucked in a breath as she pulled her hand away, shaking away the pain as it healed, leaving a mark on her palm. Katy grinned a little more, patting the Dragon on its head. It crooned at the soothing motion and Katy lowered her stature to look it in the eye.

“Good Night Fury,” she chuckled softly as the dragon leapt onto her shoulder, rubbing on her head and making a cute little noise. “How about I name you Hestia?” she suggested, waiting for an answer from the young dragon, not even noticing the door slowly open and heads peek through. Katy chuckled patting the little dragon’s head again, “Don’t worry, we’ll talk soon.”

“They talk?” Christine exclaimed as she pushed the door all the way open, scaring the baby with her excitement. “That is so amazing! How can they do that? Can I study them?”

Katy gently shushed the dragon, moving her so she was on her forearm. “Christine, you scared her,” she scolded, cradling the dragon.

“The Night Fury is a she? I thought they all used to be males and the Light Furies are female?” Christine questioned, admiring the dragon as she spoke.

“Nope, that was just because the two I told you about were the last of their kind. In all technicalities, I think the two were of different species that could interact whenever. I think there were males and females for both Light and Night Fury’s. How else could they just be one solid color? But that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is we succeeded!” Katy patted the woman on her shoulder. “Why don’t y’all take the rest of the day off. Especially you, my little Hange,” Katy grinned, walking out of the lab with the dragon back on her shoulder, and Joe by her side.

“Sergeant Major, I’ve told you before that I don’t know who that is!” Christine called, sighing when she didn’t receive an answer. “Well, you heard the lady. Let’s go party! Drinks are on me!” she cheered, all of her subordinates following her out of the lab.

Further down the hall Katy slowly ran her hand down the baby dragon’s back. It purred in contentment. “What was the other project, Joe?” Katy asked, her mind straying from project to project.

Joe looked at her in confusement, they had a good many that they worked on. So he took a guess. “The um… portal? They needed to confirm the order of a couple of parts for it,” the man explained as the walked, eyeing the dragon the whole time. Katy nodded in response. “Other than that the building has gone well and the parts should be in later today.”

A bit more walking later, they reached the other lab, which was mainly outdoors in case the portal did something weird. Like shorting out, exploding or sucking up a bunch of shit like a black hole to who knows where. All three were highly unlikely options, but still possible. They came upon one of their youngest recruits, a young man by the name of Kyoya Ootori. He was in Othos under a foreign exchange program for college students. Katy and Joe knew he came from a wealthy family of doctors who were well-known in Japan and other countries.

Kyoya was studying business in Othos when he obtained an eye for science and what the researchers of the ruling family were doing. Katy found him doing projects here and there quietly until they allowed the man to become an intern of sorts. Those quiet projects turned into huge things when Katy suggested the idea of cloning dragons and portals to other worlds.

At the moment, Kyoya was staring at the surrounding men while cataloguing something in that book he always kept around. Even being some sort of astral being Katy found it hard to even get close enough to the book to read it. Joe and Katy stepped further into the lab which gained his attention.

“Kyoya,” Katy grinned in greeting. Normally she would wave but her arms were full of dragon. “How goes the portal?”

“As well as can be expected, I suppose,” Kyoya answered, adjusting his glasses. He wrote a few lines in the notebook and closed it. “It should be finished by October, but that’s still eight months away. After that we’ll be ready for testing.”

Kyoya glanced down at the black bundle in Katy’s arms and stared as the thing blinked at him. He looked to Katy and Joe for an explanation. Katy laughed and held out Hestia like one does a kitten when reenacting the beginning of Lion King.

“This is Hestia, our newest dragon,” she proclaimed proudly.

Kyoya nodded in understanding. Truthfully, he never thought the project would work considering that there were about half a dozen movies saying why it shouldn’t. Nevermind the fact that there were no samples of dragon blood to have ever been discovered.

“Ah, so project Hatchling worked then.”

Joe nodded and the two watched as Katy stroked the dragons scales. “Yeah,” he said. “I don’t know how but yeah. The thing-”

“Hestia.”

“- Hestia,” Joe corrected himself, “has only been out of the shell for a few hours.”

Concern flashed across Kyoya’s face. “Shouldn’t Christina watch over her until we know she can survive being out of the incubator.”

Katy scoffed, nuzzling her newest friend. “Hange can deal with it. Hestia will live, I know she will.”

“Sergeant Major? Please focus on the task at hand. You have a board meeting in a couple hours.” Joe leaned in, hopefully getting Katy’s attention. It was a usual thing for her to keep getting distracted, which was kind of surprising for someone who’s supposed to be all powerful and scary.

“Oh! Yes, you’re right. My apologies,” she smiled up at the man, moving the dragon to her shoulder so she could do her work. “Alright, Kyoya. What did you need my help with on the portal?”

“Yes, I apologize for the distraction.” Kyoya bowed his head slightly before walking to his makeshift desk and picking up a list then handing it back to Katy. His voice changed from the polite tone they knew and to an annoyed one. “Please tell me ma’am, where the hell am I supposed to find these pieces?”

Katy chuckled at the boy’s language, “Ooh, someone’s feisty.”

“Katy!” Joe scolded, slightly flicking her head.

Katy groaned at the feeling, sticking her tongue out at her subordinate. Katy could practically see the nonexistent anime sweatdrop from both men, making her laugh again at the irony. “Okay okay, serious again.” Taking a pen out of Kyoya’s lab coat pocket, she wrote an address on the back of the paper, “Here. This place will have the pieces you need.”

“England? Just for the pieces? And what’s up with the three quarters?” Kyoya stared at Katy skeptically and Joe shared the sentiment when he saw what was needed. How on Earth was England of all places supposed to have pieces like that?

“Don’t worry about it. Two brothers, the Weasleys, will be waiting to take you where you need to go. I’ve worked with them on many occasions, their work is top-notch.” Katy winked as she placed the pen back in his coat before turning around and walking out, shouting over her shoulder and waving as she left, “Have fun, Kyoya!”

Kyoya couldn’t get a word out before she was gone and he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Superior or not, she was too sporadic for his liking. Luckily he had practice with people like her due to his time spent with Tamaki and the rest of the Host Club at Ouran. Joe followed Katy out of the lab with an apologetic glance at Kyoya who waved him off with no more than… well a wave. Unfortunately, Katy was always blunt and in a rush. Rumor had it, Katy couldn’t focus on one thing at a time for long which was why she was always everywhere.

“Where to now, Ma’am?”

“You said I have a board meeting?” At his nod Katy continued, “You’re in charge until I get back.”

“Want me to take the dragon?”

Katy scoffed, placing a hand on her chest in mock offense at the idea of being separated from her new friend. “Of course not. She’ll be coming with me!” She cooed the dragon, scratching its chin as she walked out to the car waiting for her, “Bye Joe, see ya later.” Shutting the car door behind her Katy sank into the seat with a sigh.

“Long day, miss?” the driver asked, looking into the rear view mirror. He started up the car and the two, three if you included Hestia the dragon, were headed to the castle.

“Not yet,” she responded, popping her back before snapping her fingers, her outfit changing to a more professional and ladylike look.

The style bothered her, as she was used to her military uniform. The uniform itself was white and blue, traditional colors for Othos. Her pants, shirt, and military jacket were white, while the blue came from the cape that hung off of her left shoulder and reached just inches above the ground. As the Sergeant Major, she was required to wear the uniform and while it didn’t bother her too much, she only ever wore it because she loved the cape. Which Katy would never admit aloud.

The car pulled up to the castle and a guard opened the car door for Katy, “Welcome back, M’Lady.” He bowed his head in respect as Katy stepped out of the car, her tall heels clicking as they made contact with the stone.

“Hello Gavin, good to see you too. How’s the new addition?” Her smile lit up her face and the small breeze blew her curled hair a little as she and the guard walked towards the castle.

The man, Gavin, blushed softly at her question, making him feel a bit more important and noticed. “She’s fantastic, M’lady! Has my mother’s eyes,” he cooed as the other guards opened the front door for her. He couldn’t help the swell of pride he felt at the thought of his newborn daughter.

Katy hummed with delight at the man’s response. He was calmer and collected, but he reminded her of a certain Lieutenant Colonel that she held dear. “That’s fantastic, Gavin. Say hello to your wife for me.” She waved again as she walked inside, the doors closing behind her. The dragon was practically glued to her shoulder, causing whispers and stares around the room.

The castle was almost silent as she walked up the stairs. The only sound was of shoes hitting the ground from different places, once pair were her heels, the pace quickening as she hurried to the meeting room.

Once she got to the room, Kate immediately turned around, a smile on her face as her friend came through the door, then she noticed the baby dragon. “Um, Katy? I think you have a stalker,” Kate chuckled awkwardly, keeping her distance from the woman and her dragon since she had her baby daughter in her arms.

Katy huffed at the comment, glancing over at the dragon. “Sorry, she just hatched today and kind of chose me, so I didn’t want to make her leave,” the girl explained as she walked to her seat. “Shall we begin?”

“Yes! Of course,” Kate snapped out of her protective glare at the pair, handing the baby over to Sam’s mom and then went to sit down herself. The dragon was distracting most of the time, but everyone got used to her at the tail end. The meeting was mainly just an update on what things have been going on, Katy informing the group on her projects’ updates, and letting them know that she would be leaving again after the meeting, causing a small stir that Kate had to calm down.

“What are you going to do with Hestia while you’re gone?” Kate questioned as she, Layla, and Katy walked out of the meeting room.

Katy smirked and wiggled her eyebrows towards Layla who narrowed her own before understanding what she meant. She blanched and immediately began shaking her head. “No! I’m not taking her!”

The girl now groaned, hugging the little dragon who let out a small puff of smoke when she was squeezed, causing the other two girls to step back. “Come on, Layla! You can show her how to hunt while I’m gone. I promise she won’t be much trouble.”

Layla sighed, looking between the two women and the small dragon, thinking on the request for a couple of minutes. Finally, she groaned and gave in to the look that Hestia was giving her. Honestly she had no idea how to teach a dragon to hunt. It’s not like there was a guide book, and she doubted vampire tactics would work well with the creature. “Fine! I’ll watch her for you, but you owe me big time for this!”

Katy giggled, almost wickedly as she handed the baby to her friend. “Thank you! I’ll see you guys soon, I promise.”

The second Katy was gone Layla stared at the spot where she had disappeared. A feeling of annoyance slowly filled her, but she pushed it away. Katy was always like this, and besides, Layla mused, she had a dragon to influence now. Her mind filled with all the different ways to teach a dragon how to flip a person off, if it was possible anyway.

Oblivious to Layla’s not-very-traitorous plans, Katy was slipping between time and space to get to her next destination. The place she arrived was very familiar and she grinned at the feeling of the hum coming from the turbines holding the helicarrier up. As she walked through the hallway paying no mind to the surrounding security, Katy’s suit slowly morphed into what the untrained eye would call Asgardian-esque armor. A tan corset revealed itself and turned black when it reached the area above her breasts. There were shoulder guards in place but her forearms were left bare, and yet Katy still wore black gloves with silver trim. From the corset going down there were black tights which led to knee-high black boots. To complete her ensemble Katy wore a short cape over her left shoulder bathed in a deep, navy blue with silver seams. Her hair was now sat in a fishtail braid, swinging with each step she took down the corridor.

Then she walked into a room with many people walking and talking around. Her focus wasn’t on the agents, rather on the special people seated around a table. Natasha glanced at her trainer before looking back to her superior. None of the others noticed her entrance.

“Sorry I was gone for so long,” Katy announced herself, smiling at the group.

Steve quickly turned his attention to the girl who just walked in the room, instantly mesmerized with her. Her stance was strong and confident, which confused and intrigued him simultaneously. Aside from her manners, he couldn’t deny that she was beautiful. And while he knew she looked to be in her young twenties, just like him, Steve couldn’t shake the feeling that the woman was much older than what she seemed. Which was also like him.

Thor, who was seated next to Steve, sensed that there was something ethereal about her which set him on edge. The woman was not what she appeared to be, and he had not seen anything like her in all his travels. However, Thor knew the importance of not judging too quickly. That did not mean that he wouldn’t be cautious around the woman, but he also wouldn’t accuse her of being an enemy just from how little he knew her.

Tony, while he thought the woman was attractive, he could clearly see how young she looked. Even he had a no-fly zone when it came to women. Aside from that, her attire and sudden appearance surprised him, especially since JARVIS told him that she had pretty much appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the ship. Intriguing as it was, Tony told the AI to keep an eye on the cameras like he had been doing only moments ago.

“It’s about damn time! Do you even know what’s going on right now?” Fury scolded, tossing his hands in the air as he spoke, crossing them shortly after.

She shrugged as a response to his first question, walking towards the table and sitting on the edge. “Yes, I do. You have Thor’s brother in the glass cage, am I wrong?”

The Avengers sitting at the table all looked to one another then to Fury in hopes of an answer as to how she knew this. And moreover, who the mysterious woman was.

Fury glared at the women. Normally he would find her amusing, but right now she was just damn annoying. “Katy, I swear-”

In a flash she stood from the table, her eyes changing to blood red as she approached the man. Natasha straightened in her chair, her hand rested on the gun at her waist ready to defend her leader. “What, Fury?” Katy snarled. “You think I am only here to serve you and your men? I do have a life that I’m trying to get settled,” she growled, leaning in towards the man in front of her who backed away ever so slightly, his eye staring warily at the woman.

The whole room was silent, staring at the seemingly crazy female as she faced down their “leader”. The Avengers even stood, just in case they were needed to stop a fight or alike.

Fury sighed, placing his hands on her shoulders. As she looked to his hands, her eyes changed back to the Caribbean green, her gaze going back to Fury as he spoke. “I’m only going to say this once,” he whispered, “I’m sorry. Now please step back.”

Katy grinned a bit, pleased with the man’s response. “Yes sir,” she winked, stepping back to the meeting table and looking at the standing heroes. “You can sit back down now. I’m not going to be doing anything.”

“Are you seriously saying that it’s not you we should be worried about?” Tony raised an eyebrow as the women spoke. “Who are you anyway?”

“Oh! How rude of me!” Katy stood, walking up to the famous man and holding out her hand for him to shake, their heights matched. “My name is Katy, it’s nice to meet you Tony,” her smile lit up the room.

After the women and a couple others left to go to Loki’s cell - Tony went to the lab to visit Bruce, one of the SHIELD agents had looked up something on his computer and just about fell out of the chair. “My god,” the man mumbled, stumbling from the seat and rushing to Fury. Steve and Thor seemed intrigued by the conversation and listened in. “Sir! Sir you need to see this,” the man seemed frantic. Fury narrowed his eyebrows for a moment as he looked the young man up and down before signaling him to continue. “Well to start off, I studied mythology as my undergrad, and my focuses were on Norse and Greek mythology.”

“What does this have to do with what I need to see?”

“Well, I recognized the girl that was just in here. You really need to see this,” he then rushed back to his desk, making sure the page was still pulled up. Fury, Steve, and Thor followed. “I recognized her because I had studied her in school. This is the statue from ancient Greece I studied.”

The statue itself was in the middle of a park in what anyone could assume was somewhere in Greece. There were children gathered around for the picture but that didn’t interest anyone in the least. Upon a pedestal stood a woman with long hair, a flowery crown resting on her head that brushed back strands that would’ve most certainly gotten in the way of her vision. The woman wore an outfit similar to the one Katy was wearing, save for the cloak. While Katy’s was thrown over her shoulder and short, the one the statue wore was more like a cloak that reached the ground behind her. In the folds of the cloak one could see swirls and pictures of animals and planets and stars and mythical creatures. One of her gloved hands was pointed toward the sky while the other was down by her side holding onto the hand of a small child, a look of wonder was permanently resting on his face as he looked up at whatever the woman was pointing at.

“That looks almost exactly like her,” Steve mumbled, eyeing the statue. “What’s the name of the woman?” Steve asked, looking to the agent then back at the statue. He figured Katy was old, but not this old. It was impossible, she couldn’t possibly be that old. It was a coincidence.

“Iro, the Goddess of Imagination,” the agent said.

While Steve slowly started to believe that the two were one and the same, Fury and Thor had no doubts. The womans face solidified it in their minds that the person the statue was modeled after and Katy were indeed the same person. Every detail was the same, right down to the kindness in her eyes as she looked down at the small boy who was attached to her. Thor knew very well that a person could live so long, it was a normal age range for many of the races he knew. Fury, while the appearance of a Greek goddess was new, he would treat her like he had been doing already. With caution and no hostility, almost like they did with Thor. His brothers actions aside.

“Yeah. That’s her,” Fury commented once he heard the name. Somehow it fit Katy just fine. “Don’t share this with anyone except for Coulson, Hill, and the rest of the Avengers. Understood?”

“Yes sir,” Steve and the agent said in unison. Thor gave a nod of agreement.

“Have you talked to him yet?” Katy looked to Nat as they walked down the long corridor, her cape flowing slightly.

“No Ma’am. I was going to now, actually.”

“Good. I’ll talk to him after you,” Katy pat her friends shoulder just before they walked in the room. As the doors closed behind them, it drew the attention of their godly friend.

“Well well, if it isn’t the assassin,” he turned around with a smirk on his face that quickly faded when he saw Katy’s blank face. “Isn’t this a surprise. How would an assassin like you know her?”

Natasha narrowed her eyebrows for a moment, glancing between Katy who had her arms crossed and a smirk on her face as she set the other god on edge, and back to the Asgardian in a cage. “She’s my trainer? Does that matter?”

“That woman you call your trainer is more than you think she is. She’s a Goddess,” Loki smirked back to the assassin, then glanced to Katy. Just revealing her identity should create a rift between the two he could exploit.

“Aw, thank you! I think it’s probably the skin and hair. I’ve always tried to make them look nice,” Katy teased, causing the god to blush in embarrassment and anger.

“I’m not complimenting your complexion, strange woman!” Loki snapped, looking away from the two to regain his composure. Not even a minute in and he was already getting a headache. “Iro, if you’d be so kind as to leave so I can talk to the assassin in peace, that would please me.” He plastered his usual smirk back onto his face as he spoke, only to frown as Katy disappeared from his sight the moment he locked eyes on her.

“Now why would I do that? I’m here to help. Them, not you, in case there’s any confusion.” Her voice echoed around the chamber from an unidentifiable source. Then she appeared out of the shadows that melded into her shadow. She was lent against the glass as she spoke, Loki had yet to realize she was behind him. “So I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon unless I need to,” Katy matched the man’s facial expression, even the false kindness hiding the death glare in their eyes.

Loki whirled around and scowled at the woman who taunted him beyond the safety of the glass. Normally he would taunt her about not confronting him without the barrier between them, but something told him that the woman would take him up on the challenge and get in and get out with no problems. Before he could process his thoughts Katy appeared on the other side the glass, on his side, and stared at the God of Mischief. Once more she leant against the glass, ignoring the way Natasha almost seemed alarmed.

“How did you get in here?” Loki sounded surprised as he spoke. His eyes were wide as he took a step away from the girl.

She shrugged, walking towards Loki. With each step forward, Loki took a step back and away from her. “What’s the matter, Loki? Scared of a girl?” Katy’s smirk grew slightly as they walked around in the glass cage, her eyes changing to violet. Loki could only assume that the changing of eye color meant different moods, much like a Midgardian mood ring.

“I wouldn’t say scared,” Loki said. Katy kept trying to get near him but all he did was walk away. The two looked much like circling lions.

“What would you say then?”

“Cautious,” he said immediately, as if it were the only plausible answer. “I don’t know you, I don’t know your power, and you can come and go from this cage easily unlike me. I’d say it is wise to keep my distance.”

She hummed with delight, keeping her pace. Loki was smart then, it would keep him alive. Steve and Thor were the next two to walk in the room, neither party within the cage noticed. “Is that so? Well, you’re smart after all.”  

The two paused in shock and Steve turned to Natasha, Thor didn’t take his eyes off Loki and Katy. “Natasha? What is Katy doing in the cage?” Steve asked, worried for the girl’s safety even after he had just learned she was an ancient Greek Goddess.

“Are you worried about her, Captain United States?” Loki questioned before Natasha could answer, tilting his head slightly. “It isn’t her you should be worried about. She’s not the only monster you’ve brought.” He chuckled under his breath.

Katy quickly turned her head to face her student. “Natasha, go get Bruce.”

“Got it,” Natasha had already caught on too, rushing off to the lab to find Bruce. She talked into her comm device and asked for someone to send Thor to the lab.

“You shouldn’t take your eyes off of me, child,” Loki growled, charging to tackle the women but she was already out of the cage, Steve holding onto her. The god groaned as he hit the ground, throwing his head up to look at the pair on the other side of the glass.

“Sorry about that, Steve,” Katy grinned up at the man who had caught her when she tripped backwards on the stair.

“Don’t worry about it.” He steadied her and let go of her arm before giving a quick glance at Loki.

Suddenly Loki’s words registered in her mind. She scowled, “Who are you calling child? I’m older than you, Loki.” Katy spat the words out of her mouth like they were poison. Then she stuck her tongue out at the god as she stood back on her own two feet. “Come on, Steve. We gotta go.” She quickly took his hand and drug him out of the room and towards the lab, worried she might have messed up the timeline even more than she already had.

The two quickly made their way from the room, Katy teleporting them the moment the door closed. She didn’t see the satisfied look on Loki’s face as they left. Tony and Bruce were standing and looking at monitors. Katy went to open her mouth but Fury walked in and cut her off.

“What are you doing, Mr. Stark?” Nick asked. Hill had sent him here when they learned about their security breach. And while that wasn’t unusual for Tony to break in to their files, he hated when he did it. And now all Fury could see was the two scientists he assigned to a job, not doing their job.

“Uh...kind of been wondering the same thing about you,” Tony said, taking note of the other two occupants of the room.

“You’re supposed to be locating the Tesseract.”

“We are,” Bruce interjected. “The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile.”

Tony nodded. “And you'll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss.” Katy watched as the monitor in front of Tony’s cleared itself of all running programs, another one popping up. ‘Phase 2 Classified’ it read. Tony tilted his head. “What is Phase 2?”

Katy scowled. Steve hadn’t been able to go searching for anything related to the tesseract because he had been too focused on her. So she held her head high and prepared herself to stare down any in the room who would dare oppose her. “Phase 2 is SHIELD uses the cube to make weapons.” She turned and stared at Nick unapologetically. “Sorry Nick, but I’ve seen the plans and the prototypes.”

Steve glared at Fury. “Is this true?”

“Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we're-”

“I'm sorry, Nick,” Tony said loudly, cutting off Fury. Tony turned the monitor screen toward Fury, Katy, and Steve, which showed blueprints of the weapons. “What were you lying?”

Steve scoffed and shook his head. “I was wrong, director. The world hasn't changed a bit.”

At that moment, Thor and Natasha walked into the lab. Natasha kept her eyes on Banner but she did notice her trainer and Steve had gotten there before her. Banner turned to her, and boy did he not look happy.

“Did you know about this?” he demanded.

Natasha ignored the question. “You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?”

“I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.”

“Loki's manipulating you.”

“And you've been doing what exactly?”

“You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you.”

“Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy. I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction.”

The room quieted as they all turned to Fury for answers. Fury sighed and pointed at Thor. “It’s because of him.”

Thor was stunned. He pointed at himself in confusion. “Me?” he asked, wanting clarification.

“Last year earth had a visitor from another world who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned.”

Katy rolled her eyes at Fury’s reason for creating such terrible weapons. She couldn’t exactly fault him for wanting to protect the human race, she just hated the way he went about it.

“My people want nothing but peace with your planet,” Thor said.

“But you're not the only people out there, are you? And, you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, they can't be controlled.”

Katy laughed harshly and glared at the leader of SHIELD, gaining attention. “You can’t try to control every race you come across Nick. Like you people are doing so well with mutants already,” she snarked. “You shouldn’t mess with things you don’t understand.”

“You're work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies,” Thor agreed. “It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war.”

“A higher form?” Steve questioned.

“You forced our hand. We had to come up with something.”

“A nuclear deterrent. ‘Cause that always calms everything right down.”

“Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?”

Katy rubbed her forehead as a migraine worked its way around her brain. She glared heatedly at the scepter and her migraine increased as if it sensed her glare. The force increased and Katy shut her eyes tight, trying to focus on the surrounding conversation. It had dropped off the soundbar and the more she focused the better she could hear, but the migraine only got worse. She opened her eyes and blinked blearily at the team.

“You know damn well why! Back off!” Steve said, pushing Tony’s arm off his shoulder like it offended him.

“Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me,” Tony challenged.

Never one to back away from a challenge, Steve slowly circled Tony. “Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?”

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist,” he answered without hesitation. Natasha nodded as if he had a point.

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. Yeah, I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.”

“I think I would just cut the wire.”

Steve smiled and glanced at Bruce who was watching them warily. As were the rest of the occupants of the room. His eyes briefly glazed over Katy in concern but he looked back at Tony. “Always a way out... You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.”

“A hero? Like you? You're a lab rat, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!”

“Put on the suit, let's go a few rounds,” Steve growled.

Katy went to say something but another wave of pain came over her and she was silenced by her migraine.

Thor laughed at the squabble Steve and Tony were in. “You people are so petty... and tiny.”

Bruce gave a small laugh, “Yeah, this is a team.”

“Agent Romanoff,” Fury said. “Would you escort Dr. Banner back to his-”

“Where?” Bruce asked. “You rented my room.”

“The cell was just in case-”

“In case you needed to kill me, but you can't! I know! I tried!”

If the room wasn’t quiet before, it was then. Every occupant of the room stared at Bruce, some in shock, others in horror.

“Bruce,” Katy squeaked. It went unnoticed.

“I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out! So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk!” Bruce slowly began to get upset as he went on with his story. Then he looked at Natasha, who almost looked unnerved under his gaze. “You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?”

“Doctor Banner... put down the scepter,” Steve said, noticing how Fury and Natasha slowly unbuckled their guns.

Bruce and Katy both notice how Bruce held the scepter. Shock seeped into her bones as she realized she had missed it. A monitor beeping broke some of the tension in the room and Bruce set down the scepter. He walked across the room to the montor.

“Sorry, kids. You don't get to see my little party trick after all,” he mumbled.

“You’ve located the Tesseract?” Thor asked.

“I can get there faster,” Tony said, not even glancing at the monitor.

Katy shook her head and spoke up before Thor. “The Tesseract belongs on Asgard.”

Thor nodded his head in thanks of her support. “No human is a match for it.”

Tony turned to leave, but Steve stopped him by grabbing his arm. “You're not going alone.”

Tony immediately slapped his hand away. “You gonna stop me?”

“Put on the suit, let's find out.”

“I'm not afraid to hit an old man.”

“Put on the suit,” Steve glared.

Steve and Tony stared one another down and Bruce, who had been looking over the monitor, looked up at Tony in horror. The location…

“Oh my god,” Bruce said.

A bomb goes off and everyone is thrown in every direction. Steve, Fury, Thor, Katy, and Tony are thrown into walls while Natasha and Bruce were tossed down into the lower equipment room. Katy felt her breath leave her lungs as she was slammed into a wall behind a counter. She went to stand up but a piece of debris collided with her head, forcing her into unconsciousness.

                                                 Marvelous: Part 2

The captain groaned as he pushed himself off the ground, looking around him at all the damage in alarm. He and Tony shared a look. “Put on the suit.”

“Yeah,” Tony agreed, bolting out of the room. Steve was hot on his heels.

Alarms blared and agents grabbed guns in case they came in contact with the intruders. Some agents grabbed fire extinguishers and put out the fires that had erupted from computers or stray wiring hanging from the ceiling. Inside the lab, Fury sat up with a slouch, he may or may not have a bruised or broken rib.

“Hill?” Fury asked, tapping his comm.

There was no reply other than what Hill was doing on the bridge. “Turn up that engine! Number three engine is down! Can we get a run in?” She jogged over to the Galaga player. “Talk to me.”

“Turbine’s loose. It’s mostly intact,” the man pointed to the monitor which showed the damage and debris, “but it’s impossible to get out there and make repairs while we’re in the air.”

“We lose one more engine and we won’t be. Somebody’s gotta get in there and patch that engine.”

“Stark, you copy that?” Fury asked.

“I’m on it,” came the quick reply.

“Coulson! Initiate official lockdown in the detention section then get to the armory!” Fury began to make his way out of the lab. “Romanoff?”

“I’m here. Bruce and I are okay.”

“Hart?” There was nothing but silence from Katy’s end. “Hart, do you copy?”

Fury cursed and started looking around the room. Debris and smoke clouded his vision so he couldn’t see too well, but thankfully the light shining in provided some clearance in the dark. He hurried around the lab, not finding a hint of Katy anywhere until he happened to glimpse a pair of legs sticking out behind a counter, part of the ceiling covering the rest of her body. Fury rushed over and removed the debris, noticing how her arm was bent at an awkward angle and a large gash made its way across her forehead.

“I need a medical team in lab number two,” Fury ordered. “Hart is down.”

When Katy woke up she had a raging headache and the bright lights weren’t making it any better. She did her best to sit up and when Katy could clearly see, she noticed that she seemed to be in a medical bay. A nurse came rushing forward, startling Katy, and began asking questions while flashing a light in her eyes.

“Can you tell me your name? When were you born? Can you see clearly or is anything fuzzy?”

“What?” Katy mumbled.

“You may have a concussion, please answer the questions.”

“I have many names, I was born, I think, over five thousand years ago. I can see just fine, thank you.” Katy stood from the bed with a small groan, picking up her shoes from under the bed and putting them back on. She glanced around and grabbed the small comm device from a nearby table and put it in her ear. The nurse sputtered and tried to get her back into bed but it was useless. “Have they left yet? Captain America, Iron Man, and the others?”

The nurse nodded slowly. “Yes.”

“Have a nice day!” she smiled, opening the window - that really shouldn’t have been able to be opened - and jumping out. She could barely hear the nurses scream of horror before the sound of rushing wind drowned out any other sounds.

Katy focused on the one place in New York she would be needed; Stark Tower.

“Seems you’re making a habit of this, Loki,” Katy gently placed her feet on the circular platform made for Tony.

The God of Mischief glared at her as he distanced himself on the platform outside. He’d only just sent Stark careening out the window only to have the man shoot at him with a blast from his suit. And then to make matters worse, that woman was becoming troublesome by making her presence known. “What business does the Goddess Iro have with these mortals?”

Katy’s eyes darkened to red and she teleported behind Loki. Quicker than the Flash she had her sword blade to his neck and her other arm holding his behind his back. “Don’t talk about my people like that Loki,” she growled, as the man’s eyes widened slightly with surprise. He had no idea she could move that fast. The position she held him in made him feel strange, but he didn’t know if it was irritation, or something else. “And the name is Katy. Only the greek gods, and those who worship me are allowed to call me Iro.”

Loki narrowed his eyes and threw his head back, hitting Katy in the head and nicking his neck on the blade. The women stumbled back, placing a hand over her throbbing forehead. “Loki, you won’t win. Might as well give up now,” Katy finally got her bearings, but by the time she did, Loki was already prepared for a fight.

The god lunged forward, his scepter and Katy’s sword clashing as she defended herself, “Stark said the same. I shall tell you this but once, you mewling quim-” Loki thrusted his scepter in a motion that left Katy wide open, the man taking the opportunity to throw her through the glass and into the building. “I shall not surrender to the likes of you. This world belongs to me,” he leapt to the room, swinging his scepter down at Katy but she quickly blocked.

“Bad answer,” she groaned as she kicked the man away, hopping back to her feet and sliding into a fighting position. Katy was holding her own, but the one time she moved just a little too slow gave Loki the chance to cut her. The woman screamed as she stepped back and covered her bleeding face, blood trickling down her hand from her right eye. “You’re going to regret that, bastard.”

That seemed to strike a nerve.

Loki’s eyes darkened as he growled, charging towards her. Without hesitation - or removing her hand from her eye - Katy dropped her sword, grabbed the man and flipped him onto his back, cracking and leaving a small indent on the floor. She finally removed her hand from her face and the wound was healed, but a scar was left behind. The vision from her right eye was no longer obscured, and she wiped the smeared blood from her face.

“If you can heal your own wounds, why leave any trace of it once being there?” Loki narrowed his eyes in confusion as he studied her features, unaware of this additional power of hers.

It was Katy’s turn to look confused. “What do you mean? There’s no trace.”

“A scar, you imbecile. You left it, why?”

Katy’s confusion turned to shock and she picked up her sword to look at her reflection. Low-and-behold, there was a scar. She felt her face and felt the slight roughness the cut left behind. Loki had just given her the first scar she couldn’t cover. Something was up, she felt it in her bones.

While the girl was lost in thought and shock, Loki took the opportunity to grab his scepter and blast her out of the tower; the girl shouting as she plummeted towards the concrete below her.

“Katy!” Steve shouted as he saw her get blown out of the tower. The man quickly leaped from car to car, catching her in the nick of time, the two groaning in pain as they hit the concrete. “You okay?” the man was out of breath as he held her to his chest, an arm still wrapped around her waist. Surprise flitted through him as he took in her face. He was sure she didn’t have a scar earlier that day, or did he not notice?

Katy nodded, giving the star-spangled man a small smile, “I’m fine, thank you.” It finally clicked that he had caught her mid-fall and her eyes filled with worry as she pushed herself away from him. “Steve are you okay? How do you feel? I can heal you if I need to,” she spoke quickly as she observed him, checking him over for wounds.

Steve couldn’t help but grin at her alarm over his well being, even with a battle brewing a couple blocks away. Pulling both of them to their feet, he shook his head at her questions, “I’m alright, but we need to continue with the fighting. We need to figure out a way to close that portal.” He pointed up at the giant rip in space. “Are you up for it?”

Katy’s eyes turned to purple as a grin crept onto her face and she cracked her knuckles, her sword returning to its proper place on her hip from where it had landed far away. “Lucky for you, I’m working on my own portal. Leave it to the girls, Cap. We’ll have it done in no time,” she winked playfully at the man.

Katy turned to leave but Steve caught her arm. “Be careful.”

She smiled and leaned up on her tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I will.”

What they didn’t know was that the God of Mischief was watching above. He hadn’t remembered the Captain, or Iro, being involved with someone, at the very least one another. As far as he could remember, they’d only just met. Clint hadn’t mentioned anything when Loki had him under his mind control. Of course, Loki hadn’t asked about personal relations.

“If it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll have that drink now,” Loki’s eyes wandered on all of the Avengers prepared to fight him, Hawkeye in the middle with an arrow pointed at him, and Katy towards the back with her arms crossed and the new scar drawing attention to her face.

Once everything was settled, SHIELD agents came to get the scepter leaving in the elevator. Katy didn’t seem interested in the whole situation, having taken to standing in the corner with a brooding facade. After thousands of years of fighting, why had Loki of all people been the first one to leave a mark on her skin?

“On my way down to coordinate search and rescue.” The sound of Steve’s voice snapped Katy out of her thoughts as she watched a very American ass walk out of the room for a moment, passing right by Loki.

“‘On my way down to coordinate search and rescue,’” Loki mocked as he cast an illusion on himself to look like Steve.

Immediately, Katy burst out laughing at the action. Even while being a smartass about it, Loki actually did a decent job at playing Steve. As soon as Loki changed back to himself, Thor put a gag on him so he couldn’t say much else. Loki threw an annoyed look at Thor for having ruined his fun.

“Aw come on, Thor! That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all day!” she protested to no avail.

After the whole ordeal and after lunch, the group gave their ‘farewells’ to Thor. While the rest of the Avengers bid the Asgardian goodbye, Katy ignored him completely and instead gave Loki a thumbs up and a grin while commending his antics at the top of Stark Tower. The action struck the surrounding people and they stared in shock, Loki included. Had he not just scarred this woman for life? Quite literally as well.

She leaned forward and whispered in a low voice. “See you later, Ass-gardian.”

Katy stepped back with a smirk and backed was a few steps as Loki did his best to strangle her. Thor didn’t allow it. Once they had used the cube to leave, there was a sigh of relief to be rid of the god and his mischievous brother.

“What will you do now?” Steve and Katy sat on the edge of a fountain. Both were sitting forward to the point where they had to let their arms rest on their legs to keep from toppling over. It was nice to be enjoying each other’s company for a bit.

“Well, I have to go back to my other, more important job, and also go home for a bit.”

“More important job? Then what is your job with SHIELD?” Steve huffed a laugh at the comment, assuming this was the life she had talked about settling.

Katy grinned back, sighing as she stood up, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets. “You, and SHIELD, don’t really need me. It’s more of a fun side-job if I’m being honest.”

“I’d prefer if you don’t speak on my behalf with that comment, Katy.”

It was her turn to huff a laugh, “Well if you need me, or just want to come visit, ask Fury for my number.”

Tony looked over his shoulder and called out, “I’m pretty sure you referenced Nanny McPhee wrong!”

Katy rolled her eyes. “See you later, Spangled Pants.” And in the blink of an eye, she was gone and back to Othos before Steve could say anything else on the subject.

Back in New York, the team stared at the spot Katy had vacated. It was silent for a moment.

“What were the chances she could have just dropped them off at Asgard?” Clint asked.

No one answered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Katy got back she immediately went to the base to check on her dragon first. When she found her, Layla had been teaching the dragon how to hunt a fox, for some undisclosed reason, just off the base’s grounds.

“Uh, Layla? Can I have Hestia back, please?”

The dragon, who had now grown a little, was more than ecstatic to see her rider back home and safe; leaping into Katy’s arms and ignoring Layla’s pleading to return to ‘training’.

“Hey Katy, what happened to your eye?” Now out of her hunting mode, Layla wasted no time in asking about the new look Katy sported. Sadly for Katy, this would be something almost everyone would bring up.

“I just got in a fight, no big deal. I’ll see you later, I have important business to check up on,” Katy waved as she walked off to find wherever the exchange student had gone to.

It took a lot of asking around but she eventually made her way to the lab, Hestia taking up residence as her second shadow. Many people stared as she walked by, no longer fazed by the dragon but rather the scar marring Katy’s face. No one made a move to ask the origins. Yet anyway.

“Kyoya, my boy! Good to see ya. Are you done with the portal yet?” The girl bounced on her heel as she came into the lab, the young dragon right beside her. It chirped as if it had repeated the question.

As soon as Kyoya heard her voice, a headache began to form, but he powered through and gave her a small grin; she was his boss after all. Though she wasn’t as bad as others he knew, she could give them a run for their money. “Welcome back, Sergeant Major. As a matter of fact, I finished this morning.” He straightened his posture, a bit proud of his achievement.

She gasped and stared with wide eyes, glancing between the portal and Kyoya. “You’re serious?” she screeched.

“Very.”

Katy’s happy-go-lucky attitude quickly shifted into something serious and her eyes darkened as she eyed the portal across the room. “Fantastic. Get it up and running.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hello, my friends! So sorry for taking over a month on this second part. Finals had gotten busy, then I went on a trip, and now I’m back home and job hunting, sadly. Chapter 8 will be up much quicker! I promise!

~ K-the-Queen

Honestly, I had the same stuff but there was a lot less motivation on my part. Apologies. Quick note though, you guys are in for a huge surprise. I say no more, and will see you next time!

~ Minecraftian1213

Forgot to mention! You guys should go check out Minecraftian’s writings! Especially the ones whose initials spell SKOMO :p

~ K-The-Queen

It’s just “Soldier Keep On Marching On”, don’t make it so hard. It’s on Wattpad and Fanfiction.net.

~ Minecraftian1213

[staroflightning]

Hello yes for the ship thing- Expensive Headphones and Rich x Jake for BMC, Logince and Prinxiety for SS, and Adrien x Marinette for MLB, if that's all okay? That's a lot, I know so if you don't wanna do all of them, that's okay haha

You know I will ABSOLUTELY do all of these- I gotta do them in separate posts tho, so for this one I’ll do Expensive Headphones, and I’ll do the rest in other posts!

(Keep note that the bullet points aren’t in any chronological order.)

• They start dating around six months after the hospital scene in the musical. They became friends first, got to know each other a bit, then feelings formed from there. It was super obvious that the pining was mutual, and yet Michael and Rich didn’t see it themselves. Jeremy, Christine, Brooke, Jake, Jenna, and even Chloe all came together to get Rich to ask Michael out. It was very resemblant of when they urged Jeremy to ask out Christine in Voices In My Head. The awkwardness of two flustered gays was almost too much to handle, but Michael inevitably said yes, and Rich grinned.• Their first date was a movie. Afterwards, Michael spent a good 15 minutes ranting about said movie, but Rich didn’t mind. He thought it was cute. • Michael lovingly teases Rich for how short he is. Rich sticks his tongue out playfully at him, but he doesn’t really mind it. He starts teasing Michael for being tall in turn, and eventually it becomes a never-ending war of comments about the other’s height. Even when they get older and they both grow, somehow no matter how tall they are Michael always ends up taller than Rich, so it never stops.• Rich sometimes gives Michael a flirtatious wink combined with a little smirk or a click of his tongue (a trick that his Squip taught him to do to pick up girls), and every time he does, Michael melts.• Michael is the first one to compare Rich to a rooster. From then on it becomes an inside joke that everyone just accepts. Rich is a rooster.Cue the conversation,“I’m dating a rooster.”“You love that rooster.”“You got me there.”• Michael confesses that he has thought about dying his hair before, and Rich offers to take him to get his hair dyed, as he needs to redye his red streak anyway. In senior year, Michael has blonde highlights, and he looks good in them.• The two of them love cuddles. They cuddle all the time, usually on the couch in Michael’s basement while they watch a movie or something. It doesn’t even have to be much, sometimes it’s just Rich leaning against Michael or sitting on his lap, and Michael wrapping his arm around him.• Rich likes to buy little presents for Michael when he can afford it. Michael tells him not to, because he knows Rich isn’t the best financially, but he appreciates the thought. So, what Rich ends up doing is he makes Michael small little things that don’t cost a ton, and show how much he cares for his boyfriend. Michael melts each time, and he stores them all in his room. • Rich wears Michael’s hoodie a lot. He loves it because it’s big, warm, and it smells like his boyfriend. Michael doesn’t mind, as long as he gets it back, because Rich looks cute in it.• Michael’s moms adore Rich, and Rich adores them. As Michael and Rich get further into college and they’re still in a happy relationship, Michael’s moms will sometimes make a comment along the lines of “When are you gonna make Rich our son-in-law?”. Michael always blushes. • Michael learns about what triggers Rich’s PTSD. Fire and Mountain Dew are the main ones, so Michael makes it a point to keep Rich away from those two things. If Rich goes into a panic attack, Michael learns what Rich needs and does what he can to be there for him.• In return, Rich learns the best thing to do whenever Michael has a panic attack. Michael told Rich about the one he had on Halloween, and Rich makes it a point to be there for Michael during one of his panics. Between Rich’s PTSD and Michael’s anxiety, they’re a panicky couple, but they’re both there for the other when they need it, and that’s what matters.• The first one to say “I love you” is Michael. Rich had thought it before, but he didn’t want to say it before Michael was ready, so he kept quiet and waited for Michael. Michael said it when they were alone, cuddling while watching Netflix. Rich smiled softly, and said “I love you too, babe.” When they get more comfortable with each other and their relationship, they say “I love you” a lot more loosely.• Forehead kisses. Being the taller one, Michael loves to kiss Rich’s forehead or the top of his head, but sometimes Rich will stand on his toes (and Michael will lean down a bit) or wait until Michael is sitting down, and he’ll return the favor. There’s been a couple instances where Rich has stood on a chair in order to kiss the top of Michael’s head. Jeremy took a picture and shared it to the group chat.• Michael was the one to propose. They had talked about marriage before, but they had always talked about it being a possibility in the future. Michael, when he felt like he was ready, went out and bought a ring. He took him to a romantic candlelit picnic in the park, and then, when there weren’t that many people around (because he didn’t want Rich to feel pressured), he got out the ring and proposed. Rich said yes. • Jeremy was best man at their wedding. Brooke was maid of honor. • Jeremy got emotional during his best man speech. “I’ve been friends Michael since we were four, and I’ve been friends with Rich since we were high school juniors. I’m just so happy for the both of them, they’re truly a perfect match and I’m so glad they came together.”• Brooke and Jake got very emotional too. Jake went up to Rich and said “I’m so happy for you, lil bud!” to which Rich smiled and patted Jake’s shoulder and thanked him genuinely.• Michael’s moms cried.• Rich’s older brother was a groomsman, but he was the only member of Rich’s family that was in attendance at the wedding. It hurt, yes, but his friends and Michael’s family were there, and they loved Rich more than his family ever did, and he was happy. After marriage, he took Michael’s last name, because he was more than happy to officially be a part of the loving Mell family.• They adopted a daughter after a few years of being married. Rich was hesitant, because he was scared he wouldn’t be a good dad (after all, he never had a positive role model growing up, and he did some bad things in his high school years that he wouldn’t want his child repeating). However, Michael convinced him that that’s exactly why he would be an amazing dad- he would know what NOT to do, and he would care enough about their daughter to make sure she didn’t repeat those things. Their daughter ended up growing to be a sweet girl, because she has two dads who love her.