#and changed her name for some reason to a more usa sounding name

[sadlynotthevoid]

Hi, I'm gonna make you hurt.

There's this song, Color esperanza by Diego Torres, that was really typical for moms to like when I was a kid (in my country at least, Idk what your moms listened to). Anyways, imagine Catherine Todd singing it while doing the house chores and baby Jay going along with her. Then Robin Jason singing it when he's feeling nostalgic or happy.

Imagine that's why green is his favorite color (because color of hope= emerald). Here's a part of the chorus:

(the original in Spanish)

Pintarse la cara Color esperanza Tentar al futuro Con el corazón

(the translation by musixmatch.com)

Paint the face

Hope color

Tempting the future

With the heart

Anyways, I just think it would be quite bittersweet if he liked to sing this to remember his mom when he was young. I don't know what would be more sad:

He not singing it more after his resurrection because he can't bring himself to sing such an optimistic song because it feels like a mockery to his own life—

Or he still singing it because he needs the hope. Specially after everything.

[ilona2nerrie]

Justice reborn: chapter one, team building.

Tag list:

@itsmeairix

Chapters:

1 -

Chapter one – trying for a team.

Hey guys! This is my first Timkon fic actually, so let me know about characterisation and all of that in the comments. I’m trying my best, but if I post this on the 6th like I’m planning too, I’ll have it know I posted five parts of stories, each over a thousand words and some over two thousand in the past two days. So yes, I’m trying my best. Thanks for reading!

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He sat at the computer, the sounds of keys clicking being the only one to accompany the drip of the cave. No one has been down here since the incident.

‘Dick was too scared to do this. He loved his dad but had no desire to become him.’

‘Jason was vehemently against the idea. He had his own team, no time for another.’

‘Damian would’ve, but he was still a kid. No one would’ve let him.’

‘Cass had taken her spot as Gotham’s main vigilante, she deserved it. But that left no time for a team.’

‘Steph was there helping Cass behind the scenes. She wanted to be there for Cass right now.’

‘Duke was still Gotham’s only daytime vigilante. That took way too much effort to make a team.’

That was Timothy drakes reasoning for why he was ok being the only one self-tasked with taking on this burden. After the justice league had gone MIA on a space mission, now presumed dead by all, earth was left without its mightiest heroes. And that was good in no way.

Timothy had tried to convince his siblings to help, but they were all busy with their own things. But it’s not like Tim wasn’t either. But he reasoned to himself that he could run Drake Industries, Wayne Enterprises and a team all by himself. He was just better. He could do it, do it all.

He just needed members.

He went through the Bat-computer, scouring the millions of profiles Bruce had made on young and old heroes alike. They were coming in use now.

‘Thanks dad.’

He had already put a few in their own folder. Of the people he knew he was going to ask. One of them being Conner Kent.

He knew Conner from their young justice days, when the weight of the world wasn’t on their shoulders, but in their hands. With an option to distribute it equally. 

That wasn’t an option anymore. This wasn’t a game anymore. This was real.

<{ Name: Conner ‘Kon’ Kent.}>

<{Allies: Super-Boy. (pending his change).}>

<{Date of birth: March 16th.}>

<{Place of residence: Smallville, Kansas, USA}>

<{Known powers: TTK, super strength, speed, flight, invulnerability, fast healing factor, and heat vision.}>

That was the relevant information Tim had copied into a new file. He was sure conner would at least hear him out on the team idea, even if he rejected it completely. And if he didn’t reject it well, well Tim would have some support while he tried to recruit more.

Tim really needed support right now, now more than anytime actually.

He pulled up a new tab and opened his email, typing conners in and hovering over the subject line. What would he even say? They haven’t really talked since conner had come back to life. It would be weird to open the line of communication now…. Right?

His curser hovered for a few seconds longer before he closed the tab, deleting the email draft and pushing back from the desk. He blinked a few times, eyes burning as they wanted. It hit him that he had probably been sitting there, browsing options for hours. Probably at least a day, he had programmed a whole app for best mashing teams together, that would simulate compatibility. He ditched the premise when he realised, he hadn’t programmed temperaments and moods into the teams.

He rolled back on the chair, letting it drift into the middle of the cave, dust kicking up. Alfred hadn’t been down here since Bruce had passed.

He looked around the dark cave, the light of the computer being the only thing illuminating the room. Tim let his feet fall to the floor, disturbing the settled dust as he slowly walked around the cave. He ignored the chill that went through his body, pulling  his sweater closer around himself. He probably should’ve worn his suit down here, but he honestly couldn’t help it. Putting that thing on without a plan felt wrong. Felt like he was disrespecting the whole deal.

He ran a hand through his thoroughly tousled hair. He had been doing that all night, tugging at it at times when he needed to keep his hands occupied. He would’ve normally used blutack, but he had fiddled with his ball to the point it had felt raw against the skin of his fingers, so it wasn’t ideal.

Tugging on his hair also wasn’t really ideal, but he didn’t really have full control of that right now. Slipper’s shuffle across the dirty floor as he sat next to his dad’s old suit in the display case, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his head between them.

“Hey dad……” Tim mumbled, glancing out the corner of his eye to the suit as he pulled his knees to his chest.

“I’m trying to do what you would but-“

A chocked noise made its way up through his throat. “It’s so hard. It’s exhausting, I can’t ask the family. No one wants to accept it. I know what I have to do, but I  honestly don’t know if I have the strength to do it…”

.

.

.

“Dad? I understand why you were the way you were now.” Tim murmured, seemingly unbothered as the computer turned off plunging him into the total darkness he had found kinship with.

“And I don’t want to be like you. You wouldn’t have wanted that for me. I’m going to get help. I’m going to run this team the way you wished you could’ve ran yours… and I’m going to try being open. Just… just watch over me ok? I can’t do this alone.”

Tim ran his fingers over the glass case, before turning on his phone light and heading to the door of the manor. Things would be ok. Just not now. And Tim had to be content with that. Despite the fact he hated it right now.

same story but on Ao3:

(i got Ao3 now!!!)

[theghostofashton]

2024 fic roundup

a bit late but thank you @heartstringsduet @bonheur-cafe @whatsintheboxmh @henrygrass

@alrightbuckaroo @carlos-in-glasses @reyesstrand @paperstorm for the tags!! <3

gives me shelter (4k)

“Carlos, if this is what we do every year, stay in and eat takeout and watch bad reality tv, that’s enough,” TK continues. “It’s more than enough for me, to know you’re okay. Okay?”

now i wake up by your side (17.5k, sequel to you saw the truth in me)

Carlos has given him everything, and he still can’t manage to get over himself. “Do you think that’s fair?” “To Carlos?” he sniffs, rubbing roughly at his eyes. “’Course not. He deserves better.” “To you, TK,” Sara says. or, three years in the future, tk decides to introduce carlos to the world.

brave enough (2.5k)

With everything that’s happened, Marjan isn’t sure it’s the best idea she’s ever had, but she wouldn’t change it. The trip gave her answers to questions she’s not even sure she was consciously asking before she left. “I’m really happy you’re okay,” Nancy says tearfully, once she’s sat back down. “I don’t know we would’ve done if we–” She pauses, and shakes her head. “If I’d lost you.” Marjan reaches for her hand again. “I would’ve done anything to come home to you,” she whispers, and the words feel unabashedly good coming out of her mouth.

as if you needed a reason (4.4k)

“Thank you. TK told me what you said. It means a lot.” Marjan shrugs. “It wasn’t anything crazy. I knew you wouldn’t just up and ghost him out of nowhere.” “I wouldn’t.” He sighs, shaking his head. “Just… been a difficult few weeks, I guess. I don’t blame him for thinking I would.” “I think TK knows you better than that,” she offers softly, and he can’t help but wonder if she actually believes it. She knew him, better than that, and he’s still not sure why. or, carlos goes to thank marjan

to begin again (8.4k, cowritten with @sanjuwrites)

When they finally get to the parade, Carlos feels himself stop. The rest of the group continues forward, but he stands there and just stares, at the confetti and the glitter and the color, so bright, but the furthest thing from blinding. “Baby?” A hand presses to the small of his back, and he feels TK slot in beside him. “I’m okay,” he says softly. “Sorry, I just–” “You have nothing to apologize for, babe,” TK says, and when Carlos looks at him, his eyes are shiny too. “Beautiful, right?” Carlos nods. “It never gets old,” TK whispers. or, 5 times carlos felt uncomfortable with being gay in texas, and one moment of pride

fill the empty spaces (1.2k)

He wonders, sometimes, if TK has a sixth sense, and if it’s knowing. Sending a text when Carlos is in the worst mood, calling right as Carlos’s day goes south. Taking Carlos’s hand when they’re out in public and the world gets too loud, for a second. Reminding Carlos of his presence, despite everything. Carlos doesn’t know if TK realizes how easily the seas calm when he’s around. Even if he doesn’t know, it’s like he can tell. Has some indescribable sense that something is off, that Carlos needs him. or, promises are kept

must be fireproof (2k)

The worry vanishes – as it always does – the moment Tommy’s door opens, the moment her voice sounds and his husband walks into the room behind her, tired-looking, but so unspeakably beautiful. Carlos will never believe his luck. “Hey babe,” he breathes, wraps arms around TK and squeezes him tight. His body is warm against Carlos’s, the material of his jacket soft under Carlos’s fingers. He rubs TK’s shoulder and feels him sigh into him. TK buries his face in his neck, and for the first time all day, Carlos feels right. a 5x03 coda

when fate cries (67k, ongoing)

An ACL tear, the statement posted a couple days later had read. Carlos would need immediate surgery, and obviously – he would not compete for the USA in London. TK, still coming off the thrill of being named to the team himself, hadn’t been sure how to feel. Carlos had always trained in Texas, and he in New York, so they rarely crossed paths outside of competitions. That’s why he was looking forward to being on the team with him, so sure it was guaranteed. It was practically a given among every coach he talked to. Carlos was a lock. It felt weird to celebrate. Wrong, almost. Carlos should have been with him. They’d both been working for this their entire lives. three years later, the road to rio brings with it far more than redemption

no strings (1.9k)

“I’m going to start cutting back,” Carlos says. “I want to be home more.” “Carlos…” TK starts, and then trails off, not sure what to say, because he wants that, more than anything, but he also knows how important this case is. He knows what all of this means to Carlos, and he would never want to take that from him, but he also knows that he hasn’t been this worried in a very long time. Life lately feels like they’re living it in limbo, like it could all come crashing down at any second. He needs it to change. “Every second I get with you is a gift,” Carlos insists, before he can continue. They’re the strongest words he’s said this whole time. “And I’m done wasting it.” 5x05 spec

a light in the dark (4.1k)

“I love you,” he whispers, even though he knows Carlos can’t hear him. Maybe he does. Maybe it makes it to him, in his dream, wards off a brewing nightmare. He hopes so. It’s hard to believe he almost lost this. Hard to wrap his head around just how close he came to an alternate reality where he’s lying in an empty bed, his entire world pulled out from underneath him. His entire world. TK looks at Carlos in the darkness, tears burning at the corners of his eyes. He brushes their intertwined hands against Carlos’s chest, his knuckles running up against the bandage they wrapped all the way around Carlos’s abdomen, and has to bite his lip to keep from letting out a sob.

coming in 2025 (currently)

grief group au - carlos is a librarian grieving his father's recent death, tk runs a grief support group at the library he works at.

olympics au conclusion - i will finish this asap y'all, i promise. half of it is done, just need to wrap up the other half.

possibly another 5x09 coda - carlos tells andrea about bridges

exes to lovers - don't have anything definite for when, but i can say that this fic is definitely happening next year

leaving an open tag for anyone who wants to share!

[harukamitsuki]

(This is a stupid idea, but please bare with me 🙏) How do you think it would've effected the plot if Izuku Midoriya had been born with a combination of a Healing and Shield Generation Quirk? You think Katsuki Bakugo would've felt threatened by him and his treatment would be more worse (unless others stepped in to help him realize his behavior is not healthy at all)? Let's say in this scenario, Inko Midoriya has a healing Quirk (I can imagine her being a doctor in turn as a result) whilst his father has a Shield Generation (akin to force fields) like Quirk instead of their canonical Quirks. I know this is already changing a lot of things, but their Quirks are rather lackluster in the canon series. One major issue is that of Dr. Tsubasa (i.e., Kyudai Garaki) would realistically have stolen his and his parents' Quirks, but let's just say that that the Midoriya family instead of living in Japan, lived in the USA and thereby were away from him, OFA or their associates (unless we're counting OFA also having associates in the USA 🙃) As a result, Izuku would as a result, probably not be childhood friends with Katsuki as a result (but perhaps he has heard of him through his mother being friends with Mitsuki). So Katsuki would probably be a bit worse (in the beginning at least?), unless a different Quirkless individual took Izuku's place??? (I know at that point, they're just becoming OCS and really OOC compared to their canonical counterparts, but these ideas are just for fun and for a fanfiction rewrite, it won't affect the main series at all) (Also tempted to change Hisashi Midoriya's name in my BNHA rewrite since I get confused a lot between his name and Hizashi Yamada/Present Mic, ngl) Sorry for this long rambling and if the ideas sound stupid, lol.

It would change the plot a lot.

Izuku having a quirk as powerful as that would probably mean All Might wouldn't offer him OfA. And, yes, that quirk is powerful, and I've already started analysing it and how it could coexist despite being wildly differing.

Instead of Izuku focusing on strength and combat, I would imagine him to focus on protecting and healing people, maybe even becoming a support hero rather than an action one.

Also, it's heavily implied that the reason Izuku started analysing quirks in canon was because he himself didn't have one. He was quirkless, so thinking about the quirks he could have had was inevitable. By being born with a quirk, unless he has a reason to, he wouldn't really analyse quirks as he does in canon.

Changing Inko and Hisashi's quirks is fine, as they don't impact canon anyway. Inko could have had the fire breathing quirk, and nothing would change - so it's perfectly fine to change it. Hell, in my rewrite, I'm changing quirks too, with the analysis stuff.

With Izuku in the US, I honestly believe Bakugou would somehow be tamer. Without Izuku, someone he percieved as the weakest of the lot, reaching out to help him, he wouldn't feel incredibly challenged in his ego. He would still be a bully, but I doubt he'd go after someone as intensely as he did to Izuku.

(He'd still be a bully because he was shown to bully others.)

I doubt Izuku would have heard about Bakugou, however. Mitsuki and Inko being close friends is fanon - they barely if ever interact in canon, the fandom decided they were close because Izuku and Bakugou used to be friends when they were four.

Finally, let me just shed some light:

All fanfiction is OOC. Because you are not the author. You are putting these characters in non-canon scenarios, and those reactions will never be confirmed as canon, (unless the author makes the exact same story arc and it's basically a copy).

Plus, characters are the way they are due to their backstories. If you change their backstories, of course they're going to be different. Some of my favourite fics, and really popular fics, change the characters' personality.

For example, in 'Why Are We Here Again?' everyone is OOC, because their backstories are different. But nobody complains about it, because it's still a good story with strong messages, themes, and writing.

I hate complaints about characters being OOC, because authors aren't trying to be canon compliant 90% of the time.

You're fine. Don't worry about being OOC, because it's always going to be OOC, even if you can picture those canon character doing it exactly. Because it's not canon.

Anyway, this sounds genuinely interesting - keep at it!

[cocktailsfairytales]

Time Travel Swap

by Connie Lacy

Publication date: February 26th 2025

Genres: Adult, Romance, Time-Travel

Synopsis:

A unique time travel romance

With her star rising and her rock band about to hit the big time, Carly Munro is infuriated to find herself whisked thirty years into the future. Her band needs her. So does her guitarist boyfriend – her partner in the band. But the doorway that transported her to 2054 seems to be a one-way street.

A guy named Ian takes her in and becomes her ally as she tries find her way home. They discover her trip through time may have been more than just a random accident of nature. There’s something suspicious about how it all went down. Stuck in the future, she can’t help feeling that her life has been stolen.

When Carly and Ian develop feelings for one another, it comes as bad news since she has no intention of giving up the music career she worked so hard to build.

To her ears, the pop music of 2054 sounds like it’s straight off an Artificial Intelligence production line. Which is one more reason she’s determined to find her way home so she can reclaim her life in a time when “real” music is valued.

“A compelling read for anyone who enjoys a well-told tale of personal growth and timebending adventures.” – Readers’ Favorite 5-star review

“The novel explores themes of love, loss, and the quest for identity, all while keeping readers hooked with its intriguing plot twists and vibrant characters.” – Donadee’s Corner 5-star review

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/228531650-time-travel-swap

Purchase:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/4jh4WMS

SALE: On April 9-10-11 ONLY please mention the book will be FREE on those days!

AUTHOR BIO:

Connie Lacy writes fast-paced novels about gutsy young women struggling with moral dilemmas and life-changing decisions, all while falling in love. She writes speculative fiction, time travel and historical fiction.

She worked for many years as a radio news anchor and reporter. It’s not surprising that many of her books feature journalists. Some of her books have themes of social justice and women’s rights.

She loves beautiful old trees, sparkling rivers and learning about the history of our forebears, recent and ancient. She’s also fascinated by the idea of time travel.

She and her husband live in Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

Author links:

https://www.connielacy.com/

https://www.tiktok.com/@connielacyauthor

https://www.facebook.com/ConnieLacyBooks/

https://www.instagram.com/connielacy_author/

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/13857117.Connie_Lacy

GIVEAWAY

Blitz-wide giveaway (INT)

$25 Amazon gift card

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/d04251235948/

Hosted by Xpresso Book Tours

[kwispayne]

The Top 10 Albums Of 2024

Again, further into my menieres disease journey, I experience more illness and hearing problems, but this didn't stop me listening to ALOT! of music.

Kudos to USA for creating the best music of the year before they end us all.

Also as usual, personal list, didn't here everything bla bla bla

10. Willow - Empathogen

After shocking me with her move into rock and metal on her last album <Copingmechanism>, this time, the daughter of Will Smith has decided to venture into the world of jazz, R&B and progressive soul. This could easily be an absolute flop for someone of her background, but because she has a genuine interest in this style and her ability as a singer and songwriter is surprisngly fantastic, this album is a a short and sweet treat of fantastic soulful complicated ballads. Lyrically introspective and vocally wide, I would recommend this to anyone who is wants a little bit more with their pop music and anyone who would sneer at her talent because of her name and sins of the father. 

Genres: Pop, R&B, Acid Jazz, Soul, Progressive Soul, Alternative Rock

Country of origin: USA

9. Geordie Greep - The New Sound

The fall of Black Midi was a sad site to see as I had them held as the pushing force in the modern art prog movement in England. But frontman Geordie Greep has taken his sound contributions and turned it into a contemporary yet satirically explicit work of style and genre fusions.  Lyrical somersaults are taken to tell very obscure plots with some vibrant diction from Greep himself, musically it is as dynamic and breathtaking as his work in Black Midi. As always his guitar playing is underlooked by the chaotic music at hand, but he is one of the most undercooked talents on the fretboard in modern music.

Genres: Progressive Rock, Experimental Rock, Hipster, Art Rock, Jazz Fusion

Country of origin: England

8. Opeth - The Last Will & Testament

While they recently haven’t made my top 10’s during their more “rock” era, it’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed their recent output. To the contrary, I feel is and will be an undercooked period in their discography. But things always come back around, as the death and progressive metal is back, but this time with the experience of a band who have seen the past decade experimenting their sound further. And in order to tackle this side of their music again, a reason was needed, and this eerie powerful concept album is the way to go. Masterfully crafted with precision, both musically, conceptually and lyrically, the band really have created something truly brilliant here. Also new drummer Waltteri Väyrynen has really shown off his true talent here, possibly being their most diverse man behind the sticks they’ve ever had. 

Genres: Progressive Metal, Progressive Rock, Death Metal, Progressive Rock, Extreme Metal, Art Rock, Experimental Rock

Country of origin: Sweden, Finland & Uruguay

7. Poppy - Negative Spaces

While her previous experiments with metal have been more in sound, Poppy has decided to show another side to her by screaming her lungs off and showing she is a contender for the current queen of metal. How she is able to adapt to multiple genres, switching to and from with masterful precision is astounding. Musically diverse, with fantastic production and instrumentation from Jordan Fish, this partnership is a match made in heaven, and I hope this is not a one time deal. Blistering heavy, ear wormingly catchy, lyrically biting and powerfully crafted. I’d recommend this to anyone looking to cross over from pop into metal.

Genres: Kawaii Metal, Post Hardcore, Djent, Pop, Synth Pop, Metalcore, Extreme Metal, Industrial, Electronic, Alternative Metal, Pop Metal

Country of origin: USA

6. Knocked Loose - You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To

The first time I ever heard Gojira’s From Mars To Sirius, I remember thinking, wow this is the heaviest album I’ve ever heard. Now we have a contender. An absolute jackhammer of an album, full of fantastic dynamic changes where each blast is like a gunshot going off. Angry, painful, chaotic yet accessible to a degree. Bryan Garris’ vocals are an acquired taste, but I think his shrieks are fantastic. Musically not your normal kettle of fish for metal as they put weird rhythms throughout, it is a unique orb of chaos.

Genres: Metalcore, Hardcore Punk, Beatdown, Extreme Metal, Experimental Rock

Country of origin: USA

5. Whom Gods Destroy - Insanium

I thought the stuff that was released by Son’s Of Apollo was very lack lustre but knew that the instrumentalists behind it were of high calibre. Thankfully 2 of them decided to make another progressive metal supergroup bringing on the tightest rhythm section in metal along with rock and metal’s best kept secret, Dino Jelusick, who’s been hiding as the keyboardist for Whitesnake. This album was a complete surprise to me as I was expecting it to be awful, but instead it’s one of the most enjoyable progressive metal album’s I’ve heard in a long time.

Genres: Progressive Metal, Alternative Metal, Experimental Rock

Countries of origin: USA, Croatia, Japan & Brazil

4. Vampire Weekend - Only God Was Above Us

These guys have never made a bad album, and this is proof. While the line up has been going through a chaotic reshuffle, band leader Ezra Koenig has put together a fantastic blend of indie pop mixed with fantastic instrumentation that would put a lot of metal bands into neoclassical stuff to shame. Being rather an experimental album, showing their most complex musical arrangements, the band don’t shy away from creating great hooks and naturally being fantastic song writers and arrangers. The only way is up for these guys. Another masterpiece in their already glimmering collection.

Genres: Indie Rock, Art Rock, Hipster, Pop Rock, Experimental Rock, Chamber Pop, Psychedelic Rock

Country of origin: USA

3. Billie Eilish - Hit Me Hard & Soft

Even though she is a household name, she is one of the pop artists that absolutely deserves all the credit and acclaim she receives, and this album just proves that. Each of her albums has character and on this album she seems to be verging more towards a poppier direction, without losing any charm or experimentation. In fact the second half of this album is almost a modern take on Kate Bush’s The Ninth Wave suite. Vocally she has also improved, showing a wider colour palette throughout. Masterfully mixed too with help from her brother Finneas, it proves that they are the possibility the greatest family duo in modern music. 

Genres: Pop, Art Pop, Experimental Rock, Bedroom Pop

Country of origin: USA

2. Tyler, The Creator - Chromakopia

His most recent 4 albums are a build up to this and this proves that he is one of greatest modern rapers of our time. But with Tyler you do not just get a rapper. You get an arranger, a multi instrumentalist, a producer and a fantastic songwriter, it just happens he has fantastic rhythmic flow when it comes to spitting on the mic. Evoking sounds that wouldn’t be foreign in G Funk or late stage Outkast, this album is a fantastic conceptual journey of a man dealing with his own psyche, history and personality. Very much a shattering of the ego to show the id. Funny enough, Tyler and Kendrick Lamar have almost switched styles this year, and both can occupy this space easily, comfortably and masterfully. A possible runner for his greatest album and one of the most poignant albums in all of hip hop.

Genres: Rap, Hip Hop, R&B, G Funk, Progressive R&B, Jazz

Country of origin: USA

Sleepytime Gorilla Musuem - Of The Last Human Being

After a long hiatus, with each member going off doing an arrangement of projects, the band are finally back with their long teased album and short film. And it’s as if they never went anywhere. Following up In Glorious Times (an album that I could write a book on how it might be one of the greatest albums ever made), musically it follows a similar path, mixing a more accessible but still experimental side to their side, taking on a more conceptual nature. Musically fantastic, emotionally dramatic, touching, quirky and powerful, it is another absolute gem in their discography.

Genres: Experimental Rock, Experimental Metal, Progressive Metal, Progressive Rock, RIO, Avant-garde Metal

Country of origin: USA

[bad-thinking]

Amy Winehouse Back to Black (UK, USA, 2024)

First, I do not know the story of Amy enough to talk about the singer herself, rather want to refer to the movie mentioned in a title.

Second, it is again something very personal and subjective, I mean, I do not intend to give an objective perspective or evaluate whether movie is worth watching.

I myself did not quite enjoy it. I did not feel much empathy towards Amy, I was utterly frustrated with her lack of thinking and being blindly led by her emotions, not questioning herself even a bit. This shows confidence, right, not questioning yourself, I think there should be though a dose of self doubt. In the movie she totally saw everything only from her perspective, taking a boyfriend that was in a relationship already, then crying over him leaving her. Wasn't that her who in the first place stole him? Is it in the name of love? I do not buy it. You just don't destroy another relationship, from selfish reasons... She had a crush.. so what. How often that happens we are attracted to someone but it turns out person is already involved in a relationship with another person. Here the opinions can differ, again, maybe for some we should follow the feeling and fight for a person, but Amy rather had no concerns about taking others boyfriends.

About addiction, well, I read quite a bit on internet how people feel compassion towards her because of her battle with addiction. But come on, our decisions are not fully predetermined by the disorders or predispositions we have. Also, we should not let past to define us. Her fans justify her stupidity and irresponsibility by referring to her addiction, I see it as enablement and indirectly hurting a person, since they start to believe they cannot change it anyway.

Amy, in the movie, also from the interviews I saw, was clear that she does not want to give up alcohol. After a tour, you need to get some drinks because your energy just drops so much, and what you are going to do, you have to get ready for the next performance, be energized. Also, the big one, she knew should not be able to create without alcohol, I actually agree with her. Her songs got created because of her pain, emotional instability, surrounding chaos, intoxication, depression and emotional highs. She knew what she was doing. People claim how intelligent she was, she got herself bulimic and did not seek help even (movie, but to my knowledge (that is however limited) she did not seek therapeutic help). Really, she didn't freaking read, listen about the consequences? And what mixing it with alcohol can do to her? That's how intelligent she was? I don't know really, either she knew and she consciously destroyed herself, which I think is possible, or she didn't and that happened out of her control. She was told by doctors, fans were screaming to her to get help. But she refused, because without that, she also wouldn't have highs, and she knew it. It is what mania does. You need low lows to have high highs. Enormous success and being on top, being that known, being beyond other humans, you are only on one side now, the other side is equally enormous destruction.

She created and became famous like she dreamed of. She went all in and then she killed herself. She was a star that shines brightly and therefore dies fast.

I cannot resonate with her at all. For me, even taking into account her possible bipolar disorder, she was just not thinking, not questioning herself at all. Selfish and spoilt. I don't also get the notion of her being traumatised. Her parents divorced, I think many children go through it, it is not rare occurrence really, unfortunately, there are more severe traumas.

She had a lively family, they were close. You can argue about emotional neglect, but for me then it sounds like something that can be assigned everywhere. No. She had parents, had family, they were doing things together, enjoyed spending time together. That does not sound like a trauma to me. Singing together, dancing.

Now, another aspect of her life that annoys me to pieces. Her ex husband, Blake. Don't we have right to leave the relationship? He was a fucking kid, irresponsible, had fun with her, loved her, but realized she is destructive, he knew he is dragged into it, that it is a propelled vicious circle, where they both fuel each others intoxication and tendency to escape reality. Didn't she beat him, scratch him, didn't she have problems with aggression? Wasn't that slightly too fast to marry that soon and make a stupid tattoo on the heart? I am rather in defence of Blake. I can't listen to her fans throwing all the accusations on him, how he destroyed her life. No. It is such a common story, really. Who hasn't fallen in love and then got dumped? COME ON. It is just stupidity that at the age of 20tish you assume person that you love now is forever, you don't really know. People also fall out of love. It is good while it lasts.

Her father, he does sound like a bit.. off to me. Taking care of appearances, smooth talker, knowing what to do to win. I can't say much about him, it is just the feeling, that it can be true that he used his daughter for fame and money. From the interviews I saw with him.

I am writing this realizing how this can appear as me dismissing her pain. Maybe I dismiss it. I know I am sometimes dismissive of others inner states. I am myself on the very opposite side because have tendency to just dissociate from my emotions, have some symptoms of aleksytymia and also asperger syndrom, I totally don't trust my emotions and definitely wouldn't write a song about them. Maybe I partly envy people who just selfishly go after them, following their feelings, not caring about others. I always think of consequences and how I affect others. I don't want to be selfish and don't want to use people. I dismiss my own emotions / feelings, because they usually lead into trouble, making it impossible to defend myself, making others abuse my expression and vulnerability. I am closed off. But when I am open, something bad happens.

[rinadragomir]

Julie Plec and convenient diversity 🙃

Okay so when I found out they chose a British guy to play Dimitri I was a bit upset but in a super chill way cause 1)he looks fantastic 2) British accent kinda reminds me of Russian so I thought they not gonna have any problems with working on it.

Then my Tumblr friend made a post and I found out they erased that part of him. TV show Dimitri is not Russian anymore. I was kinda confused cause 1)then why would he have a Russian name👀 2)what about the fact that Rose spends the whole book in Russia, what about Roza, what about half of their jokes😟

BUT TODAY 🤡I FOUND OUT 🤡WHAT THAT PIECE OF HUMAN 🤡SAID ABOUT THAT CHANGE 🤡

Okay it's not a literal quote but it's almost it:

Dimitri is not Russian anymore, you'll be fine with it when you learn more about that amazing man playing his role.......It was important for us to convey the spirit of modernity, to show today's world with all the diversity of its cultural idiosyncrasies. Accent, origin and race do not matter because we are all part of the same community.

That clown living her clown life 🎪

Okay let's see

So she put 1) diversity is important, we all different and it's cool to show it AND 2)why diversity if we're the same person? 🥺 IN ONE FUCKING SENTENCE?!?!????!

Julie Plec literally said: OF COURSE diversity is important, we have Black Americans! Latins, Chinese guys...or not Chinese, I mean asian people = only Chinese right? And of course ...*whispers* I can't remember more..... um.....what? Turks? what is it? Turkey? Like ...Turkey on Thanksgiving day?🥺Yeah? Russian? Russia... sounds familiar where is it👀ugh nevermind some white dudes, they sound like British anyway

I forgot to mention I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THE CAST they're babies and they do the best they can, their acting is the reason I watched that trailer✋they just do their job and do it perfect

I have BIG ISSUES with creators of this show

⚠️Before some of you start with your American "um bitch u know dat black people live in Turkey and British people live in Russia and Latin people live in Romania" I'll say: they definitely MIGHT live there, tho I've never seen anything like this in any of these countries (I live in one of them and I've been in two others

But after Dimitri being a British announcement, there's no way Rose is Turkish. No fucking way. No one actually cares about the diversity. Diversity is a thing ONLY when it comes to people who live in America.

When people from Turkey, Russia, Romania even slightly open their mouth EVERYONE SHUTS THEM UP with "um....white dudes talking again 😴we have Black and Asian people, others don't actually exist👁️👄👁️)

If you think that "WOW we have a cool beautiful black girl as a lead, finally some good fucking food, finally a WELL WRITTEN WOMAN OF COLOR"

no think again😍you really believe that a woman who thought "ugh....idk all of these Turkish and Russian....ugh language, traditions are so hard🥺" will MAKE AN EFFORT?! To write a proper black lead girl? Seriously? I have some news

If you look at the cast and think "we have a proper diverse cast! That's so great! Different cultures were so important in the books, I'm sure tv show creators will explore this topic even deeper" you're poor innocent silly soul, that's who you are.

👉🏻IT'S NOT ABOUT AN "AdApTaTiOn" IT'S ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THESE BOOKS AND THEY DON'T WANT TO, BUT THEIR LITTLE DAMAGE BRAINS CAN'T COME UP WITH THEIR OWN NEW UNIQUE STORY (and even when they can, it's so fucking bad, no one wants to watch it), SO THEY TAKE A POPULAR TITLE AND MAKE THEIR OWN SHIT PRETENDING IT'S ALL THE SAME CAUSE THEY DIDN'T CHANGE CHARACTERS NAMES. 👈🏻

And a little reminder how people look outside of England and the USA for my beloved Julie Plec and people saying "real diversity is here, who needs these white guys on the screen" (Turkish, Romanian, Russian)

[earthstellar]

Transformers Analysis: Folklore and Folk Magic in the Mines of Kaon

thinking about Miner Megatron again, as always. here we goooo 

So I've been doing some folk magic, as I usually do, and it got me thinking:

Surely, the lower class/caste bots wouldn’t feel welcomed into the more organised Cybertronian temples etc., or might even be outright banned from joining in shared spiritual spaces or rituals. 

So it’s time to teach y’all some working class magic history and how we can apply that to Cybertronian spirituality: 

Working Class History: Casting Spells on the Job (Just Call it Prayer so the Boss Doesn't Find Out)

Here's a quick history of rural Appalachian folk magic, for some context:

1) The Christian Bible has been used for spellcasting all up and down the rural East Coast in the USA from day one of colonisation.

In Pennsylvania you have Hexenmeisters and the Pennsylvania Dutch practices, for a well-documented example.

2) The working class has done spellcasting with the Bible from the very first day shitty bosses started

This is for several reasons, but primarily because Bibles were common and cheap, you didn't have to know how to read in order to follow along with or change the lyrics of popular hymns and prayers to fit your own needs, and it was very easy to sneak what is essentially localised witchcraft under the radar when it just looks like you're reading the Bible to everyone else.

Catholic materials were used a lot for this, because they were often provided for free by any local churches, and a lot of working class people in Appalachia were Italian (Roman Catholic) or Eastern European (Eastern Orthodox Catholic), which meant there was no shortage of all sorts of votive candles and the like to utilise for what we would now identify as spellcasting.

It's important to note that it wasn't called spellcasting outright by anybody; Sometimes it was called "hexing" or "sweet talking", among other terms, but if you called it spellcasting it was heavily frowned upon.

A lot of people were uncomfortable (and are still uncomfortable) with verbalising it or identifying it as such due to stigma from the more mainstream religious communities or their own religious backgrounds, and of course, historically if the boss found out that all the workers hated their jobs so much they were doing fucking witchcraft about it, it would not have ended well for the workers.

So, stealth it is. And that's why there are so many specific folk practices in a lot of historically working class rural regions/communities-- Not just in Appalachia, but similar things happen in similar communities around the world.

What does this have to do with Megatron?

Everything we know about the lower classes on Cybertron, the lower caste members, and the mines/industrial regions in Tarn and Kaon suggest that a similar folklore likely existed within these working communities.

And any local folk practices likely developed for the exact same reasons that this type of folk practice developed in the real world:

Workers are fucking miserable, "mainstream" religion isn't satisfying their spiritual/emotional/social/material needs or concerns, and close-knit people in small communities spending most of their time together naturally start to sort of do their own thing based on their collective situation.

People get desperate, there's nowhere to turn and nothing to do, so spirituality becomes a lifeline in that it builds solidarity and creates a more appropriate sort of support system.

For example: If we aren't allowed time off work to mourn our friend who was killed by heavy machinery, and we aren't allowed any time to process that or deal with it or take care of each other, then we will invent a ritual that allows us to grieve on the job.

This was, and still is, a common thing.

Which brings us to...

St. Barbara and the Mines + Solus Prime

St. Barbara's backstory can be summarised, roughly, as such (based on the version of this story that I know; keep in mind the details can vary):

She was kept isolated from others by her father, who became furious that she refused an arranged marriage. When she fled, he chased her; She ran into two people working in a field, the first who helped her, and the second who gave her path away to her father.

She was captured, and brought to a prominent local figure (the title varies based on different versions of this story), who had her tortured for escaping and disobeying her father.

However, when imprisoned, they tried to kill her again and again, and every morning she was healed. Fire intended to be used to burn her would cool the second it got near her skin, and daggers used to cut her would go dull when brought near her.

Snakes thrown into her room intended to bite her would then die the instant they went to approach her, and ropes intended to be used to bind and choke her would spontaneously fray and snap before they could be tied.

Eventually, she was condemned to beheading, and a special sword was used to cut her head off, which finally killed her.

Her father is the one who beheaded her, and as divine punishment, he was hit by lightning-- A single bolt that lasted so long that his entire body went up into flames, and his ashes disappeared.

Her gravesite became a place of veneration, where people prayed for protection and safety.

She became known as the patron saint of all people with dangerous jobs or jobs where the bosses don't care about the worker's wellbeing or safety, for obvious reasons: Nothing but the hands of her own father could ever harm her.  

(The imagery of St. Barbara being slain only by a special sword is very reminiscent of Solus Prime being slain only by a special sword...)

Workers, especially those with particularly dangerous or shitty jobs but also just anyone working class in general, can interpret this story in several ways which can make it additionally relatable:

Her father = A controlling and aggressive boss who abuses or neglects their workers to death.

The field workers = A pro-union worker (a helper) and an anti-union worker or scab (a betrayer).

So you can see how St. Barbara became immediately adopted as a common worker's saint, and was used in a lot of regional working class folk magic practices (where such folk magic developed within local working communities).

And this is still going strong as a tradition; Crossrail tunnel borers in London consecrated the drilling site in the name of St. Barbara in 2013:

"Several hundred contractors and senior management attended the St Barbara's Day ceremony at the Thames Tunnel (pictured) which will link Plumstead and North Woolwich when completed. The site was so large, that sound engineers put in place an amplification system for the ceremony." - Article here. 

"As a long-standing tradition, one of the first tasks for each new tunnelling projects is to establish a small shrine to Santa Barbara at the tunnel portal or at the underground junction into long tunnel headings. This is often followed with a dedication and an invocation to Santa Barbara for protection of all who work on the project during the construction period." - Article here. 

And here's a related example of a worker's prayer for St. Barbara, from here: 

So this is very much a tradition that is still going strong, and it isn't just Catholic workers who engage with these types of things!

To accommodate more diverse groups and communities of workers, folk practices (including what eventually becomes folk magic) increasingly develop even further away from any one specific religious origin, in order to become more inclusive for the majority of people who can be from all kinds of different spiritual or cultural backgrounds.

Hence, more folk magic is made-- And I believe something like this could absolutely have evolved in a similar way in working communities on Cybertron.

Cybertronian Spirituality: The Primes, The Knights, The Titans

My personal theory/headcanon, and there is not much in canon to support this particularly so please keep that in mind, is that given the average type of manual labour working environment in Tarn and Kaon (dangerous, dark, and deep), it would make sense for the legendary Titans to become worked into some kind of folk practice.

We have this concept of the Titans as these giant and very particular beings, which reminds me somewhat of the Jewish Golem of Prague, in that the Titans are made from raw materials in some kind of mystical or cosmically spiritual manner, then eventually ally themselves to at least one respective Prime who then acts as a director of their actions to achieve victory over cosmic evil(s).

The Titans then go forward and act as guardians of Cybertronian life by combating the origins of these cosmic evil(s) as protectors of their respective polities and regions and eventually colony worlds, called into action by what is essentially a metaphysical and possibly outright spiritual pull of the need of their Prime(s) and later on the needs of the Cybertronian and colony world populations in times of threat or desperation.

These details are peppered throughout canon and vary based on media/franchise, but most recently Titan lore was covered again in IDW’s Optimus Prime series, issue 10, literally titled Origin Myths. 

What is interesting is that while the Golem association could be reasonably made, you could also reasonably say that the Three Original Titans (Metroplex, Chela, and Metrotitan) could be associated just as easily with the Catholic concept of the Holy Trinity. 

Lots of different interpretations could be applied to this stuff!

Class Stratification Within Cybertronian Religious Institutions

No matter how you may interpret it, we know that the Titans have a similar mystical presence in Cybertronian history and cultural lore to that of the Primes and Knights, and it would make sense for those spurned and disparaged by "mainstream" spiritual practices (which were likely just as stratified by class and caste as everything else was on Cybertron during Megatron's youth) to go ahead and create a folk practice based more around Titans.

This is because the Primes would like be associated directly with their oppressive rulers and upper classes, and the Knights, who are said to be the first Cybertronians to come from the Well, thusly represent a very high class onto their own which may have repelled working class bots who were very likely sick of essentially worshipping those venerated in their class stratified society solely due to the conditions of their creation; The Knights were "born with silver spoons", essentially, and it's hard to sell that to people who suffered due to the conditions of their own creation.

Therefore, the Titans are the other most likely Cybertronian figures of historical lore that could reasonably be adapted into a sort of folk religion for the working classes and lower social caste bots.

The imagery is strong, and relatable: In Megatron's case, the manual labourers and miners all have large frames compared to the average Cybertronian, they all toil invisibly and in relative silence, and they are kept away from the end products of their labour and yet without them, Cybertron planet wide would instantly struggle to sustain their raw material demands. 

They are critical workers, yet many of them have no names/designations; It is noted at least once in canon that some Titans are so old or so little known that their designations are not recorded. Yet without these unseen/unknown Titans, it could be the case that cosmic evil could have achieved victory.

While the Titans are critical, they are largely a mystery and unknown in any real detail. They do not normally engage with average Cybertronians, and when they do, it is usually indirectly-- Even though their actions actively impact the lives of nearly everyone.

And though the Primes and Knights are generally never physically present, at least not within living memory, there is real and physical proof of Titans. I feel like that aspect alone may well appeal more to people who are very physically oriented; We also see a stark realist mentality from many of the lower class/caste bots, who are sometimes realistic to the point of nihilism (which is part of why Megatron's writings were so revolutionary, in that they re-introduced hope to people who had previously concluded that there was no realistic possibility of ever rising up).

The Titans being a known, tangible physical reality may well have endeared them as a more interesting folkloric or spiritual focus to this particular cohort of bots.

Just like with St. Barbara in real life, you can see how the Titans may have been interpreted in certain ways by the lower class/caste working bots which may have made them more appealing or more easy to structure into a framework of sorts for their own practices within their local cultures.

A Little Meta: There's a Lot of Various Religious Imagery in Transformers

Like with all media, especially Western media, inevitably some Jesus sneaks in there.

Which usually sucks, because it can be alienating for literally anyone who isn't familiar with Christianity in some way (as some references or parallels are inevitably not going to be as obvious or even detectable at all to people who didn't grow up with all this sometimes very specific shit, resulting in missed thematic elements and so on due to no fault of the viewers but rather the tendency for Western shows to overwhelmingly be written and designed by primarily Western white middle aged cis straight men who tend to throw some Jesus in there when there should not necessarily be any Jesus in there, but I could yell about this all night).

Transformers as a franchise altogether is not immune to this; As with all media, it is made by people, and people are influenced by their social/cultural upbringing, and that includes religious influences.

We could read some of this into the TFP/Aligned Continuity, in regards to the idea of the Thirteen Primes and how that concept is interpreted in TFP.

Transformers Prime: Alpha Trion is Essentially Paul the Apostle

The TFP Primes resemble both the Apostles as well as various Saints, and especially the Fourteen Holy Helpers; These fourteen Saints in particular are elevated above the others in many cases and contexts-- Similar to how the Primes are held up as elevated over other Cybertronians and other figures in Cybertronian history and presumably within certain Cybertronian spiritual practices as well. 

For example, Alpha Trion is strongly reminiscent of the Christian figure Paul the Apostle, who was a writer/scribe known for documenting early Christian concerns of faith in his letters, which became extremely important to theological historians in regards to determining early Christian discourse and attempting to create a timeline of early Christianity.

His letters are included the New Testament in thirteen (!) sections called epistles, which are archived forever in various iterations within the Christian Bible. 

Now, let’s take a look at the symbolism, using the TFP main illustration of Alpha Trion as featured in the Covenant, and a popular Icon image of Paul the Apostle: 

Beard, cloak, book-- Even the pose they are in here is very similar, look at the feet and the way they are both standing. Even the halo of Cybertronian glyphs around Alpha Trion’s head resembles the gold filament of Paul’s halo. 

And much like Alpha Trion's questionable ability to write/re-write history and determine events through some kind of cosmically divine power of foresight, the timeline of Paul's letters will likely never be fully verifiable, and of course, there are so many translations and interpretations of these letters along with the rest of the New Testament that while key points remain fairly consistent, there is still no "true" version or exact outline of events or discussions as recorded by Paul-- Primarily because in at least a few cases, Paul's letters are the only allusion to certain events or conversations.

This is extremely similar to how Alpha Trion states outright in the Covenant that he himself doesn't know if what he writes is actually factual anymore, or if he has changed things so many times to try to construct a more favourable narrative of actions and events that reality itself may have been warped by his Quill, either forwards or backwards in time...

You could also argue that Alpha Trion is presented as a God-like figure in TFP (especially when he appears to Optimus in the form of an echoing voice and shimmering spectral figure in a vision caused by what is essentially the equivalent of a holy relic), and Orion Pax would then be comparable to Jesus pre-Crucifixion, with his reformatting into Optimus Prime post-Matrix heavily resembling Jesus in the eyes of his followers post-Resurrection.

The main cast of Autobots in this comparison would then roughly correspond to the Apostles, of whom there were twelve, with Optimus then making Thirteen... And of course, canonically, Optimus is the resurrection of the Thirteenth Prime. 

You can also see visual similarities in the depiction of Thirteen in the Covenant; It reminds me heavily of the Divine Mercy image of Jesus: 

Both have their right hands raised, their chests emitting a holy/cosmic light. 

I'm just saying, it is totally possible to make connections between fictional lore/spiritual figures and real world ones, and TF is loaded with content that can be re-contextualised in this way. 

(I also want to point out at this time that it is not my intention to offend anyone with any of this analysis; I am writing from the point of view of someone who grew up with folk spirituality, and I am also a Quaker Attender, just so you are aware of my own personal background. I would love to hear any other interpretations of any spiritual imagery in Transformers media, because there’s a ton of possible ways to read into this stuff!) 

In Conclusion: Cast a Hex on Your Boss by Calling Upon the Titans

Just for fun, as someone who has actually done folk magic for my entire life, I've adapted a hex against bad bosses to fit this headcanon. I think this is something that lower class/caste bots would absolutely engage in; It's common in real life as well.

The original I'm basing this off of was actually something I found in one of our old family Bibles before I moved out, and was written in Girard, Pennsylvania sometime between 1920-1930. I believe it was written by a relative of mine who worked either on the farm or on the railways.

Remember that folk magic like this is for and by working class people, so there are no fancy supplies needed; Don't ever buy shit to do magic, you can do it with anything laying around you. No need to spend money.

If you have a shitty boss, please let me know if you hex your boss with this. I always encourage witchcraft, fictional or otherwise.

Here's what you do, if you want to actually try this:

1) Using any old paper that you have lying around, cut it roughly into a square (doesn't need to be perfect.) It doesn't matter what type of paper it is.

2) Grab any pen you like, it can be any type of pen, any type of ink.

3) Draw a square outline on the paper, making a border on the page. This can be big or small as you like, and you can decorate it if you want; Just leave enough space to write inside the square.

4) Fold this paper into a square, any way you'd like as long as it's a square, and take this paper while it's still blank to work in your pocket.

Carry the paper with you for at least one full day at work. If you can, place it in a chest pocket or a pocket where the paper will be fairly close to your body.

It doesn't matter if the paper gets dirty or smudged or torn; In fact, that's even better.

(Some people who do variations of this spell in real life even use the paper to wipe dirt off their hands etc. throughout the day, to really get the energy of a work day settled into the paper. As long as it can still be written on, you can do this if you'd like.)

5) At the end of the work day, take the paper out, and write the following:

Where I have put [X], the word "Lord" was in the original version of this hex which was in my family Bible, but to contextualise it within the fictional headcanon lore here, you can replace this with the word "Titan". (Or you can replace it with anything else that may be appropriate as well, if you would like to actually use this hex!)

"Give us pay for our work, or the poor will plea to the [X] against you, and you will be struck down, cast down.  

If you do not give to those who give to you, you will be cursed coming in, and going out.

Just as the [X] can raise you up and lead you to prosper, so too can the [X] turn away from you, and you will be left to have your walls destroyed, your fortress ruined.

Us servants will rejoice, but you will cry out in anguish, you will be put to shame.

Without the toilers, the land is made desolate, the haunt of jackals.

[X], turn your gaze to us, we labourers of all kinds, see our tears and our sweat.

Lay curses upon those who use their hands to hold us down; Kept below water, our tears lost in the flood.

Raise the waters, and surge the shores of their ill-owned kingdom; Bring forth to their memory that the [X] stewards the land, and that all among the land are equal in spirit.

The [X] will cast fury upon the unrighteous and conniving, cast rage and stand among us mightily, each motion casting winds against the oppressor who weakens like fractured stone under the onslaught of rain.

The [X] will make a storm from our anguish, which brings us higher, raises us from desolation. Our tears, become the rain that withers the false tower looming high above us.

Our hands will raise from our tools and duties, and offer high praise to the [X], who guards the disparaged and lowly, who enacts justice against those who have done wrong against us.

Let us be brought high, and those who revel in our struggle, may they be cast down."

6) You may flip the paper over once the ink is dry, and on the back, put three Xs in the upper corners of the paper. You may also add three more XXXs to the centre of the paper, where the crease in the paper is from folding it.

7) Re-fold the paper, and put it in the bottom of your right shoe. If this is too uncomfortable, carry it in any pocket on your right side.

You can also place it in your wallet for safe keeping, as your wallet contains money and possibly a work ID or something similar, which are all tied to work and working.

And there you have it! Fuck shitty bosses, both fictional ones and real ones. Join a union, do some witchcraft. 

This post was long as always, but I hope it's interesting to someone out there! <3 Thank you to anyone who actually reads through all of this! <3

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

NSFW with Chuck Grant

~ ~ ~

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

 Charles Grant is a walking example of “acts like a badass, is actually a softie” bc BOY, IS HE HARD (lol) TO GET A READ ON. 

When you first start fucking, he doesn’t really have the instinct to stick around after and soak up the afterglow- mostly bc that’s not the dynamic that any of his previous relationships operated under, but also bc he’s like Lieb and doesn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable and potentially having you reject him. He only confidently leaves the first time, and then he judges whether to stay or not on how you look at him as he makes to get dressed after the second time you boink. If you want your space, he’ll go and be back the next day as long as you let him, but if you look even a little bit offended or hurt, he’s getting his ass back in that bed and doing whatever he can to get that sad look out of your eyes.

When he does stay, he’s down to give you whatever he can manage. 

He’s all for slowly kissing you while trailing his fingertips up and down your side, but if you just want to sleep beside him he is more than cool with it (he’ll probably still pet you a lil bit after you fall asleep bc he’s soft for you but shh shh shh don’t tell anyone). The only thing he isn’t very good at doing is pillow talk, especially right after sex. He’s too worried about saying the wrong thing and fucking up what he’s managed to establish with you. 

It isn’t until after he’s shot that he realizes how nice it feels to have someone else take care of him, and when you do so after sex it solidifies the fact that you don’t see him as a burden- you want him and you want to stay. Thank god, too. He doesn’t think he could recover without you (again, not that he’d ever tell you that)

 B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

 Your AhhhhhhHSSSSssssSSSSSs!!!!!!

Oh wow, look at you- owner of the cutest butt he’s ever seen. Can he put his hands on it? Can he squeeze it? Please please puh-lease can you let him watch it jiggle as he fucks you? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then you’ve made each and every single one of his dreams come true. 

He doesn’t discriminate in his love for butts- he’s an equal-opportunity appreciator of the Majesty of the Female Ass™. If it changes size throughout your relationship, he’ll love it even more. Absolutely shameless.

On himself? He likes his legs- especially his thighs. 

He likes how strong they are, despite how much he hates Sobel for getting them to their current strength re: Currahee. But he gets over it quickly bc oh wow is he happy with their endurance while trying to keep up with you, both sexually and otherwise. The day he realized you could ride yourself to orgasm on them was the day he died and went to heaven and was sent back to sin again.

 C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

 He likes cumming on your pubic mound and then watching it slide down your pussy, thank you very much. If you guys are trying for kids or in a position where you don’t have to worry about not having kids, he’ll cum inside of you happily but oh wow he likes watching it slide down your lower lips. BONUS POINTS if he gets to catch it on his thumb and either stick it in your mouth OR circle your clit with it in order to get you off one more time.

Also, you asking him where he wants to cum on you gets him hot under the proverbial collar. 

 D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

 He’d do literally anything for you if you’d let him put his finger in your ass. He will genuinely kill an individual of your choice if you let him put his cock there instead. What a perv (jk it takes a lot of vulnerability for some people to convey their wants and desires to their partners plz remember that this has been a PSA).

The one thing he’ll never actually tell you about... EVER is that for a little while after meeting you for the first time in Georgia, he started hooking up with a girl who he didn’t realize (until much later) bore a striking resemblance to you. He’d had to end the relationship when he straight-up called out your name when he came (he was a lil drunk, just tipsy enough to slip up) and full-on booked it out of there bc not only had he pissed the girl off, but his shout had woken up her family- namely her very angry father- and barely escaped with his life.

 E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

 He’s had two lovers before you, but one of them was really experienced and patient and bless that woman. All he really has to do is learn what you like and he’ll commit it to memory. 

And you better be damn sure that he’ll use that knowledge against you/for his benefit. 

 F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

 Doggy style for all the reasons mentioned before. Or reverse cowgirl. Or normal cowgirl. His hands + your butt= dream combo.

 G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

 He can be goofy, but more than anything else he likes it when you’re goofy. Chuck can get a little too in his own head at times, which can lead to frustration/self-doubt- ESPECIALLY while recovering from his brain injury. You reminding him that sex is meant to be fun does him a huge favor, bc poor lamb will forget that every so often.

So please, nibble at his earlobe in that way that tickles him. Make a quip at the expense of one of your friends. Mock the silly sound of the moan you just let slip out.

 H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

 He’s not going to groom unless you tell him to, but he also doesn’t feel like you need to groom for him, either. Chuck’s not afraid to admit how much his personal hygiene has improved since meeting you. 

I can promise you that if you’re heavily invested in skin/hair care, he’ll probably be just as into building his own routine. 

 I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

 You always have Chuck’s full and undivided attention during sex, but he won’t necessarily show it unless he gets the guy feeling/you tell him that you want him to be. He’s going to whisper sexy things into your ear, call you a good girl (if not his good girl), and do everything in his power (at the time, at least (he can get a little distracted if you’re doing something particularly sexy)) to make sure you feel just how appreciated you are. He gets more and more confident in his PDA as your relationship progresses, but when it’s just you two? You’ll never meet a bigger sweetheart.

 J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

 Ok, so I’m deciding for you that mutual masturbation is a thing that you’re both into, m’kay? 

I'm also making the executive decision that you really enjoy watching him get himself off. You walked in on him one time, before you’d had sex, and were so stunned that you just watched in rapt attention until awkwardly backing out of the room and slamming the door shut. He’d nearly cum right then and there, and it got you extremely aroused. 

The next time you see each other, at some Georgia bar while on a pass, you offhandedly mention that you wish you hadn’t left and FROM THAT DAY ON he always lets you know when he’s feeling the urge and how you’re more than welcome to watch.

And when you do? It’s always a much shorter experience than he intends bc wow how hot are you?

 K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

 Frottage! Dry Humping! Grinding!

Allow me to explain:

In the months following D-Day, it was quickly understood that being on the frontlines meant having traditional forms of sex were no longer on the table (hehe) for you two. You’d experimented with rucking your trousers down your thighs, his thighs, both of your thighs, and each time it was a disaster (with one of the worst times ending up falling onto Tab after he’d inadvertently opened a door that Chuck had been fucking you against. Chuck had nearly thrown fists when Tab refused to look aware from your bare ass.)

So yall started grinding- quickly finding out that the bunches of fabric separating your bodies not only led to new forms of stimulation, but it also meant that you both started to utilize dirty talk. There’s something about your trembling lips at his ear, your warm whispers of ‘so good’ and ‘is this really all you need, Chuck? Me, writhing on you like this? What does that say about you, you desperate boy??’

Boy’s bought a one-way ticket to Boner City, USA.

PLUS! What a way to keep warm during Bastogne? Everyone is so jealous that they don’t have a super foxy megahot babe like you to grind upon.

 L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

 Hmm…..is saying anywhere a cop-out? Because he’s down for anywhere, he’ll follow your lead and rise to the occasion. Such a perv i s2g.

 M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

 ♫ YOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!!! ♫

You have this one eyebrow quirk you do when you’re in the mood, and it just so happens to be similar to the brow raise you give someone trying to outsmart you (which is another turn on for him- you putting some overly-confident sonofabitch back in their place after allowing them to mansplain at you for a little bit. First boner he ever got (since meeting you, obviously) came after witnessing you telling Joe Liebgott to stfu in cutting German after he’d made some off-color comment about your ass.) 

So, more often than not, he'll get a little turned on when you argue with people. Maybe even when you argue with him- who knows? not me. (i totally do, and he totally is)

 N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

 Any sort of pain play, on either of you. 

After being in genuine agony for so long while recovering from all of the surgeries, the idea of seeking any more pain out just doesn’t make sense. Chuck also doesn’t want to see you in pain- even if you’re asking him to make you feel it. You’d both suffered through the pain of hunger, frostbite, insect bites, sunburn, and just war in general (all of which had emotionally taken a toll on him bc he felt completely helpless and hated that he couldn’t do anything to take your hurt away). 

Sex and pain just doesn’t go together for him. Sorry not sorry 

 O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

 He loves having you go down on him, adores the way your eyes look up at him as if you’re challenging him to withstand your beautiful ministrations. 

He also is a big fan of going down on you, but PLEASE PLEASE PUH-LEASE ride his face. Good lord. 

He’s a sucker (teehee) for it- something about you using him like it’s all you keep him around for gets him hot. You also get this certain snarl on your lips when you are getting close that makes him lose his goddamn mind bc WOW YOU ARE SO ATTRACTIVE and HOLY SHIT YOU CHOSE HIM OF ALL PEOPLE? WOWOWOW.

 P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

 He’ll follow your lead/body language in terms of pace. Most sex sessions shift between both slow and deep as well as fast and hard anyway, so he is a fan of both. 

 Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

 A necessary evil, as far as Chuck is concerned. He’ll do them, and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy the spontaneity of them, but he would prefer not to be rushed when he’s with you.

 R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

 He was riskier until that one time Tab caught you guys, after which he chilled out. Which you are thankful for, bc you’ve spoken with Lieb’s wife and BOY have those two gotten into some embarrassing situations bc of how risky that kid is. 

 S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

 The longest he's gone is 4 rounds (it was celebratory sex on VE day, with both of you in the best shape you'd ever been in and too high on relief to listen to your bodies. Ya'll were sore and dehydrated afterward but LORD was it worth it.

 T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

 He’d be very open to the idea of toys! On you, he’s automatically cool with it, but it does take him a little bit to get his head around the idea of using toys himself. Again, 40s/50s= somewhat repressed discussion about deviations from the traditional male sexuality- but Chuck is more willing and ready to challenge the societal norms than most. Very sexy of him.

 U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

 He always intends to tease you, but more often than not he gets so turned on that he can’t follow that intention through. You are aware of this and ABSOLUTELY weaponize this knowledge. Get it, fam. 

During day-to-day conversation, however, you both tease each other constantly. It’s been like that since you’ve met each other- always making innuendos and one-upping the other and for some reason that never even went away.

When Chuck woke up and the doctors brought you in to see him, the first thing he told you was that you looked terrible. When you’d replied with a sniff, a smile and a “guess the doc’s were full of shit when they said there was no change in your vision, huh?”- Chuck had smiled so hard it hurt.

 V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

 He’s a choked moan kind of guy. His face gets all scrunched up and his body shakes and he curses quietly under his breath (it’s vv cute and hot, FYI). he doesn’t even try and be quiet on purpose, he just seems to lose the ability to be vocal, tbh. If he’s drinking or if it’s been a hot minute since yall have gotten to do the do, he’ll probably be a bit louder. Like, maybe one loud cry of your name (see: the letter D)

It doesn’t bother him if you make sounds at all, just so you know. If anything, he likes that he’s a quiet cummer bc then he can hear any and all of your sounds.

 W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

 biting your ass while eating you out from behind is *bang* *bang* *bang* *click* *cash register noise*.

Especially if you squeal and smack at him after he does it.

 X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

 Average in all respects but OH MAN does he know how to work it to his advantage. Get ready for a wild ride, my dude. 

 Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

 Higher post-war, tbh. Chuck had had to be on bed rest for so long that he thought he may never get the chance to have sex again, so he totally makes a point to indulge in you every chance that he can get (but he’s cool if you say no, too).

But, as I mentioned in ‘risk’, he’s not going to be humping your leg in public or anything (ok but imagine if you were a dom to his sub and you made him do that holy fuck)

 Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

 He does not sleep very well, poor bb. He will be asleep but his mind will be working through all kinds of things ranging from PTSD to what shoes he wanted to wear to dinner with your parents that weekend. Good thing there’s a remedy to this ailment- your pussy sex with you!

While he can’t konk out immediately, he is able to relax. He will allow himself to get lost in the rhythm of your breathing, the weight of your hand on his arm or your arm wrapped around his middle. He will sometimes nuzzle into you as you’re drifting off to sleep, and when you press a kiss to his forehead he finally feels safe.

~ ~ ~

taglist: @sunsetmando​ @televisionboy​ @now-im-a-belieber​ @tvserie-s-world​ @holdingforgeneralhugs​ @mrseasycompany​ @itswormtrain​ @mrsalwayswrite​ @happyveday​ 

[a-froger-epic]

Interview with a Queen “groupie”

Cross-posted to AO3. I encourage you to leave any comments you have there.

---

I compiled this interview following a long email exchange with J, a very sweet lady who went to Ealing Art School between 1972 and 1974. She knew all four members of Queen personally and was part of their larger circle of friends.

First off, you may find this hard to believe. I don’t blame you. But I assure you I’m not pulling your leg. As well as the pictures I share in this post, I have seen current pictures of J (which I will not share to protect her privacy). There is no indication as far as I am aware that she isn’t who she says she is.

Nastally, hold up. How exactly did you find this lady?

She found me. It turns out that she has been following my story Dawn of Aquarius for quite some time. The story is set in 1969. A lot of research about the era went into it, because I wanted to portray that time period - and Freddie’s and Roger’s surroundings - as accurately and realistically as I possibly could. That was what drew J in. She tells me it brought back a lot of memories for her. One of the reasons I love DoA so much is the nostalgia, she says, which genuinely means the world to me. Eventually, she talked to me in the comment section. Of course, I freaked out!

And then, I asked her for an interview, to which she replied: I will give it a go, but you must remember that I am 65 and there were great drugs in the 70s, and at 16, away from home, I had a lot!

And so...

Here’s what is IMPORTANT TO KEEP IN MIND when you read this interview.

These are one woman’s 50-year-old memories and subjective impressions. J has been incredibly kind to let me pick her brain, trying to recall everything as best as she can. In her own words:

Just remember that when I answer the questions, it is from a 16-year-old who is 9 years younger than Freddie and a little girl with no family and friends in a strange country trying to fit in. The only reason I was there, was because some hippie thought I had a unique art style.

---

J as a teenager.

[I have edited the interview together from our long, and somewhat messy at times, email exchange. Typos have been fixed and some punctuation added for clarity, but I have not changed anything J has written to me. Again, bear in mind these are personal opinions and impressions.]

So, J, how did you end up at Ealing Art School in 1972 and what was it like?

This was the painting done for the Australian school-leaving certificate.

It placed first and gave me a scholarship. I could pick France, the USA or England. As a dual citizen of the UK, the choice was easy. The scholarship paid for board and fees, so had to be and sell whatever for spending money.

This picture is from the dorm. We all had a 10pm curfew and a very thick rule book that, I am proud to say, I broke every one of them, one by one. The rooms were on the 1st and 2nd floor. We were on the first floor, rooms one side and admin staff the other end. We had two bathrooms for 18 girls. One of them had two baths. The walls were your standard half wall, so it was a given that if you had a bath you run the risk of having a bucket of cold water dropped on you. Downstairs was the kitchen and lounge room.

I want to ask you a few things about life in London in the early 70s, to get a picture of what it was really like. For example, was there alcohol at the music gigs you went to?

If it was a school, church or community hall, no. If it was a pub, yes.

Did you and your friends drink as much then as young people tend to drink now when you all went out?

No, we didn't. I think it had a lot to do with money. We didn't have the disposable income, and it was unheard of to still be living at home with the parents after the age of 20.

Was weed and LSD as big and easily accessible as depictions of the 60s and 70s would have us believe?

The drugs! Got to have drugs. Pot (weed) was easy to grow, very cheap. Used to smoke it in bongs rather than joints, more bang for your buck. Trips [LSD] were cheap, I think. About 2 pounds and you were on the high for over 24 hours with no sleep. My drug of choice was hash. Either the oil or the block. It was a nice high, but you could not function well. But if you listen to the music of the time it really does reflect what it was like, to have a group of friends over for a session. Having said all that the most outlandish and shocking drug I ever saw anyone use was the birth control pill. Didn't you have to hide that stuff away?!

Can you tell us some 70s slang that isn’t really in use anymore? What in the world does “ultra-blagging” mean? (As written in a letter penned by Freddie to his friend Celine in 1969.)

Abso-bloody-lootely!

Man, I thought I was the bees knees to be on a scholarship in London. But that didn't stop me from jigging or having a skive day. They were the days that I blagged my way into a pub, had too many lagers and ended up chundering in the gutter. That was how you knew your night was ace. I would get a right bollocking if anyone found out. It would be a bugger when all that you could find at a car boot sale was chavtastic, but sometimes you could be Jammy Dodger and tickety-boo you find something brilliant. Bob's your uncle. Anyways, I need to see a man about a dog.

[It seems to me that J uses a bit of Australian slang here, like chundering, which makes sense because she is, after all, Australian. She also provided the translation:]

Cheers

J

It would be my honour.

I felt very privileged to be given a scholarship that let me study in England. But being so young and having no family to guide me, it was often tempting to not turn up or give a false excuse for being sick. (I had a lot of food poisoning). These would often happen if the night before I had been drinking beer and ended up vomiting outside the pub. But in my young mind that was a good night. If any of the teachers found me drinking I would be in a lot of trouble. Often I would have to say I was holding it for someone else. Not having much clothes with me, I would buy them second hand from church jumble sales or other students and, yes, Kensington market (the market). Some of the stuff would not be very tasteful or in good condition. But sometimes you would find something that was cheap and in good condition. I will stop this text now as I must go to the toilet.

PS: Ultrablagging sounds very Freddie. Blagging was used, but not ultra, meaning to persuade someone to do something or act better than you are. They were always rock stars.

Sincerely

J

[It was at this point that I realised I was talking to an absolute legend. She also told me then that the majority of her old photographs had sadly been lost when her house was flooded in 1988, including most of the photographs from her stay in London. Noooo! :(]

When you went out to dance, did you have only live music? Were there DJs yet?

You know, that is hard. We did not have a DJ. Sometimes there would be a band. Often we looked for places with a band or the jukebox. I think pubs closed at 10pm and some stayed open to 12 or 1, but public transport stopped at 9. So if you had not arranged a lift then you had to make the last bus. Most of the time we would be heading back to someone's place to get stoned and then crash there. In the morning you would have to work out where you were. When I got back to Australia, the discos were all the rage. They could have been in London too but it was not cool to like disco.

How many people would show up to Queen’s gigs when they played in pubs or at, for example, the Imperial College?

Depending on the location and the night: 10 to 1000!

So how did you first meet the Queen boys?

I was at the pub talking about a band we saw last week when Brian stuck his head into our booth telling us he knew a better one. Thinking about seeing them at the stall... Roger not often, Freddie quite a lot. Often on different stalls, I think that is why I can't remember the name. [The name of the stall. Other sources confirm that Freddie also worked at Alan Muir’s stall, for example, selling shoes.]

How well did you know them?

Just looking at your tumblr account. [she has had a look at my blog, where somebody asked if ‘groupie’ meant she had slept with the band] No, I never slept with the boys. I would not say I was a close friend, but I started at Ealing Art College in ‘72 and moved in the same circles. I loved the music and could be called one of the first groupies. I had to sneak into the pubs because I was 16. Roger always teased me for being so young. They all did seem to be one very large family, not just the band. It was a group of about twenty regulars, both male and female. Everyone knew that Fred was too gay to function. We were all at the gay rights march in London in 1972, had to run after the march. Lots of sharpies [Australian slang: youth gang, thugs] wanting to bash us. Back then I was in every protest that was going, student union rights, even the secretary protest. Just part of the times, stick it to Man or Woman. I left London in ‘74 for Australia, been here ever since and lost track of the boys but have never stopped being a fan.

What do you remember about them? How would you describe their personalities?

Don’t let the trolls hate me, but I did not like Brian. I found him to be rather full of himself. Space was a subject you never brought up around Brian or you would die of old age before he stopped talking. He was always the first to speak and start a conversation and then quickly passed you off to John, who was always tired and shy. Roger was also quite shy at times. He was very self-conscious of his looks, as he felt being pretty, nobody would take him seriously. Fred, well, he was not yet the big star, so I think he was working on his stage persona. When talking to groups at parties, he had the best stories of things that had happened to him or close friends. They were very funny and very descriptive. He was the life of the party. When he had a few to drink or was the centre of attention, he would take a cigarette out of the closest person’s hand and start smoking. Now remember this is the point of view of a 16-year-old girl that was a fish out of water, trying to fit in and not having much worldly experience.

It is said that Freddie and Roger were very stylish. How did they dress in everyday life?

Fred would do his hair and makeup to check the mail. Yes, he was always turned out, but so were a lot of people. Freddie did go over the top with hats, scarfs and jewellery. With Roger, it is a surprise he was able to have kids his jeans were that tight. And his shirts were always open unless he was in a jumper. I think it could have been so that you knew he was male, as it was the start of the unisex clothing. When I travelled out of London I realised it was a London thing. When I got back to Australia everyone thought I was a show-off.

There are some disagreements about how tall especially Freddie was. I know this is a difficult thing to try and remember accurately. But do you remember?

Freddie was taller than me but everyone was. Roger was shorter than Fred, but I never saw Roger in platform shoes. I did meet up with the band by chance at Sydney airport in 1984, said ‘hello’ but they did not remember me, or if they did then they did not say anything and I did not want to be a dork. At that time Fred was the same height as me (5ft 8in/1.72m), Roger was taller than me. It made me think at the time that he had a growth spurt! John was shorter than me and Brian has always been tall. [I have a feeling the platform shoes - or lack thereof - played a vital role here! Although 172cm for Freddie seems likely.]

You said everyone knew Freddie was “too gay to function”. Attitudes towards homosexuality have changed so much that it can be hard for us, now, to fathom what exactly people must have thought of him. Was it more of a joke that he was so camp? Was it something he would have been teased for? Also, he had a girlfriend. Did you ever meet Mary or the other girlfriends?

In 1972 a whole group of us - and I am pretty sure that Fred, Roger, Brian and Tim were there - were in a gay pride march. [Since then, J has found and showed me a picture of a boy she thought was Tim Staffel, and it wasn't, so Tim was most definitely not there. Whether Freddie, Roger and Brian really were there or if J is misremembering, who knows?] Us youth believed you could not choose who you fell in love with and if it was same sex, so what? However, if it was two girls then it was every guy’s duty to change her!

It was also a time that the gayer the guy was, the more the girls were interested. Also, if a guy was gay then you did not have to worry about him and he was a good person to take with you if you were going out drinking. However, the police, parents, teachers and anyone of authority were horrified and treated them badly. I did meet Mary a couple of times at pubs and once after a gig. This is just my opinion, but I found her a bitch. It could be that I was so young. It could be that I was very Australian. It could be that she felt threatened as my accent was a magnet to people around. And the boys (Queen) were no exception. Brian had a cousin in OZ and was always asking questions. I remember that my close group of friends thought that Mary made the perfect girlfriend for Fred as they were as fake as each other. Having said that about them, I often wonder if I would think the same now and if my perceptions were just because she would not give me the time of Day. Chrissy and Jo were a lot of fun.

This was before your time, but I read that Freddie's nickname at Ealing Art School was ‘Freddie Baby’. Any ideas how this came about? His showmanship or maybe personality traits?

I don't think so. There were an older crowd that would talk like that. I think the slang ‘baby’ was a 60’s thing, like groovy baby.

How long, roughly, did Roger and Freddie have their stall? I can't find anywhere when it closed down. What did it actually look like? Was it a sort of wooden stall type of thing? Or an actual room? What were some of the other things people sold at Kensington Market? Mostly clothes or all sorts?

The markets were little divided shops. The back was brick and the walls wood. I have been trying all day to remember the name. [Of the stall.] I think it was something hard to say. More often than not it would be Freddie's dad in the store. It was still open when I left. Roger and Freddie were both in the store on Saturdays and some Sundays. There was a girl, I think Jill, who was in the store more. And during the week it could be anyone. You name it and you could get it at the markets. Second hand or designer clothes, shoes, jewellery, pot and assortments. Hair cuts, food, bric-a-brac.

Wait, wait. What? Freddie’s dad? Really now?

Yeah, it was an older Indian man. so we just assumed it was his father. It was my understanding that he started the stall then the boys would work it as the whole markets were set up for younger people, but if needed he would work there. I don't think the boys would be able to pay the rent on their own. [I have since found out that the stall closed in late 1971, and Freddie continued to work at the Market until '74, for Alan Mair and possibly others. So the stall J witnessed wasn't their original stall - explaining all the different people she saw there - but she had no way of knowing that it wasn't.] They always had incense burning that was very big in the 70s. I still occasionally bring out the sticks, but it does not last like the candles and diffusers of today. If you could get in touch with Robert Daniels, he ran ChaChaDumDum it was the stall across from Freddie. He would know the dates.

[J says it’s this look, in a picture she happened across while looking at my tumblr] Yep, that is the one. It usually means that he does not believe or agree with something that was said and is working out how to respond, or he has lost the plot.

You mentioned Roger seemed shy to you at times. Was he also quite charming? We read a lot about what a chick magnet he was. Was this the impression you had?

My favorite subject! I had a thing for Roger. Everyone has a type and mine is the blue-eyed blond. Now, before you ask, was he brunet? No, he was a mouse/dirty blond. If it was summer he would have blond streaks mostly at the ends. He knew he was pretty and was always dressed in the latest fashion and had the current hairstyle. So, being my type I was constantly watching him. Everyone slept around during that time. I did not notice Roger doing it more or less. 80% of the time he was with Jo. Yes, he was a chick magnet, but he did not do the chasing. He was always very polite to everyone. If it ever looked like there would be any conflict he would be the first to leave it. It was not that he was a coward, just not into conflict. If he saw anyone that needed help he was right there, and often had to have Freddie's back. I never saw him in a fight. He could always talk his way out of things. He was also very patient and would listen for hours to other people talk. However, he would get this vacant look in his eyes at times.

And Freddie would either click his fingers, change the subject or just give up. I don’t think that Brian noticed, and it would be fair game for John, he would see how far he could push it. Roger liked to drink a fair bit and when drunk he would be hanging all over Jo. If she was not there then he missed Jo. If, however, he thought that he or his friends were not being respected, then look out! It was a verbal volcano heading your way. That is what happened to me one time. I was trying to talk with my friends close to where a drunken Roger was and I yelled at him to shut the hell up, you wannabe blond. We/I coped a mouthful back, all in the same sentence, that finished with: Sorry, I didn't realise you were on your rags (period)! I have to have the last word, so I told him the truth: I don’t get them yet! (I was a late starter.) He went so red in the face and called me JB [jail bait] from then.

You also mentioned Roger’s cat Ziggy having kittens. I read about this but never when exactly it was. Do you remember?

I think it was winter ‘73. I remember being cold when he was asking around the pub. [To find homes for the kittens, I gather.]

Is it quite strange reading fictional interpretations of real people you knew? When did you first find out there was Queen fanfic?

No, we used to make up stories about people all the time, a verbal fanfic. Was looking up Adam Lambert and came across the fanfics. Some had me in stitches! Others, like DoA, had me hooked.

Please, allow me to be a little self-indulgent at the end. What's one thing I got totally RIGHT in DoA?

All the Ibex stuff.

What's one thing I got totally WRONG in DoA?

Roger did not have a temper, and I don’t know what the go with his father was, but he would talk about him quite a bit and was always visiting his mum. [Absolutely fair, not only did I change the timeline of Roger’s parents divorce in DoA - for lack of information at the time - but also created a completely fictional narrative around it for the sake of storytelling.]

J, thank you so much for all this, sincerely. Can you tell me a little more about yourself? Are you still an artist?

I don't paint or draw any more. At the age of a 50 the doctors operated on an aneurysm or three, and now my eyesight is very bad, I have no fine motor skills and a tremor. I was married in January 1984 and have just celebrated our 37 year anniversary. I have one daughter who is 30 and two great, although tiring grandkids. A girl, 11, and one boy, 5. I have lived my life as the average middle class Australian with great memories. Talking with you has helped me a lot to remember a time when the world was mine for the taking. When I returned to OZ I started nursing, met my best friend, and we planned that once we graduated we would go back to London to study midwifery. But I fell in love instead.

J's wedding in 1984. As you can see, she found her own blue-eyed blond.

---

Upon request, J has shared some of her past and present artwork with me.

These are from her time at Ealing Art School:

These were done later, back in Australia:

J: Did this just before Christmas as you had inspired me. It did not require fine motor skills!

So there you have it! I hope you found this little glimpse through a 16-year-old girl’s eyes as much of a fascinating read as I did. I urge everybody one more time to remember that J did not have to share any of this, and I think we all owe her a big thank you for delving into her memories. She is likely to see the responses on AO3, so I have comment moderation enabled there as I will not let anybody harass this lovely lady. The tumblr she created is @since72, but she isn’t really an active user and also very new to it all. Again, I can only urge everybody to be respectful.

If you have other burning question for J, feel free to leave them in the comments on AO3. I will either pass them on, or she may want to reply to them herself directly.

[bqstqnbruin]

F is for Friends - part 4

Look, I know it's 4 am, but hear me out: I finally finished this part. Ignore typos because at this point, that's just who I am as a person honestly.

Hope you like it!

Read the other parts here: part 1 // part 2 // part 3

__________________

“You haven’t seen him in how long?” Maddy asks you from the kitchen. You and your roommate were both home on a weekend for the first time in what seemed like forever, taking the opportunity to invite Fran and Lindsey over for a girls day. Nolan always seemed to be the topic of conversation whenever you entered the room, and you had a feeling that he was even when you weren’t there. The girls were overcome with affection for the rosy cheeked, long haired boy next door who was slowly becoming your friend.

Just your friend.

“Not since he came to my classroom last week,” you tell them. “I dropped him off and then got ready for my date with Keelan that night.”

Fran scoffs at the sound of your boyfriend's name, Lindsey rolling her eyes. “Oh, god,” Maddy groans.

“What?” you whine, dreading where this conversation was going.

“I’m trying to block that night from my memory. Especially considering you didn’t remember that I was home that night,” she says, handing Fran and Lindsey the water they had asked for.

“We weren’t that bad,” you tell her, the heat rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment anyway. You two had went back to your place after the date, not hesitating to polish off the two open bottles of wine that were in your fridge, also not hesitating to have sex as would most couples who want to do that sort of thing.

“Yes, you were. Hearing you and Keelan fuck is like listening to a poorly written PG-13 makeout session audio clip from Riverdale,” she lets out, Fran spitting her water as Lindsey starts choking on hers.

Your mouth hangs open as you try to comprehend what she just said. “Ok, one, rude. Two, why is that the comparison you make? And three, why were you listening?”

Maddy scoffs, “As if the walls weren’t so thin that Nolan and Kevin could hear you playing music in the first place. Anyway, whatever it was you were doing in there I’m pretty sure it would end up in Riverdale.”

“I need you to stop watching Riverdale,” you say, straightfaced to your roommate, “and stop comparing it to my sex life!”

“Oh! I have an idea!” Fran squeals, changing the subject.

“Oh, no,” you groan, knowing that whatever she was about to suggest was going to end poorly for at least one of you.

She rolls her eyes, getting up and going over to your window. Your car was parked right next to Kevin's, an indication that the boys were home. “What if we went out tonight and asked Kevin and Nolan to come?”

You can’t help but glare at her, knowing what her tactics were: if you and Nolan went out and got drunk together, her mind believed that you would reveal whatever feelings she thought you had for each other. Everything would come out in a drunken confession that you would have to deal with in the morning. “We’re not going out tonight.”

Fran drags you from the chair you were comfortably sitting in, Lindsey and Maddy following as the four of your run out your door. You were facing Nolan and Kevin’s, Fran knocking wildly on the wood before pushing you to the front of the group.

Nolan hears someone at the door, interrupting the workout he was doing solely to keep himself busy. He could hear voices on the other side of the door, indicating that he probably should grab a shirt to put on, reaching for the nearest towel he could find instead. “Hey,” he says, seeing you, Maddy, Fran and Lindsey all standing at his door, your mouths hanging open. He could feel his cheeks turning more pink at the thought of all of you seeing him without a shirt, even though he knew you had before.

You, on the other hand, were trying to figure out what to say, coming up short at the sight of Nolan’s abs, sweat making his body shine and leaving you to admire it longer than you needed to be. “I,” you start, forgetting why you were standing in front of your shirtless neighbor in the first place, “have no idea why we’re here.”

“We’re going out tonight,” Fran starts, pushing you out of the way, “and were wondering if you and Kevin and any of the guys wanted to join us.”

Nolan wasn’t focusing on what Fran was saying, he was too busy trying not to read too much into your flustered reaction, paying more attention to how your eyes traced his body. “Yeah, sure,” he shrugs, not taking his eyes off you. He sees your expression change, a nervous look on your face as you shook your head at him. “Uh, actually, we, um,” he tries to retract.

“Perfect!” Lindsey practically screams, Nolan visibly shaken by her outburst. “Y/N will text you the details!”

Before you or him could protest, the four of you are running back to your place, you looking over your shoulder at Nolan, an apologetic look on his face.

Why didn’t you want him to go out with you guys tonight? That was the first time he had seen you since he went to your classroom. He didn’t know if you were avoiding him or if you were just busy, but either way, he wanted to see you tonight.

“Ok, girl, if you don’t want Nolan, can I have him?” Fran drools once the four of you are back in your apartment. “God, he is so hot.”

“I, uh, I don’t care,” you tell her. What or who Nolan did was not your problem. “If he wants to and you want to, then go for it, what’s stopping you?”

She looks at you, a smirk covering her face. “You.”

You scowl at her, not unaware of the shocked looks on Maddy and Lindsey’s faces. “Oh, really?”

“You clearly like him. You’ve liked him since the day he knocked on your door.”

“I’m in love with Keelan. I have been in love with Keelan for a couple of years now, if you remember. Just because you hate him for whatever stupid reason, doesn’t mean that I do,” you tell her, walking away to your room. You didn’t have to deal with this. She wasn’t one of your students where you had to settle whatever conflict was coming up between you.

“Your boyfriend is a jerk, come on,” she says, following you.

You whip around to face her, catching her off guard as she takes a step back when she sees the anger in your face. “How has he really been a jerk to you? Because, from what I remember, he was the only one on the guy's team who stood by you guys when the athletic director wouldn’t help fund your trip to that regatta in England while they were fully funding the boy's trips to Boston and the IRAs and a trip to California for a training session with someone from Team USA. He’s the one who tutored you for the entirety of our junior year for free so you wouldn’t fail your class and wouldn’t lose your scholarship or your place on the team, and did the same for Lindsey. He’s the one who literally gave us the key to his family's beach house down the shore the last three summers in a row because he wanted to make sure that we took a break and didn’t get burned out. But you’re right, Fran, he is a jerk.”

“Come on, Y/N-” she starts.

“No. Stop,” you tell her. “I’m sick of you guys being absolute bitches about Keelan when he has never done anything to warrant this besides be on the crew team. If you want to go out with Nolan, and he wants to go out with you, then be my guest. I’m happy with my jerk.”

She stands there, stunned by your outburst, Lindsey and Maddy trying to comprehend what just happened themselves when you slam your bedroom door, locking yourself in your room until it was time to leave.

Your phone buzzes as you throw yourself onto your bed, thinking it would be one of the girls asking you to come out of your room.

Nolan: Do you really want us to come with you guys tonight?

Y/N: I really don’t care. Fran seems to have something planned and wants you guys there.

Nolan: Fran does?

Y/N: Yep.

Nolan shouldn’t be reading too much into this, staring at his phone hoping to see those three bubbles popping up to show that you were going to explain more. What could Francesca have planned? What did that mean?

He gets the details about where you guys were planning on going, forwarding the information about going to Howl to some of his teammates. What could Fran have planned?

You lay on your bed, your phone buzzing with texts from Nolan and Keelan coming in. Anything you felt for Nolan was meaningless. He was your neighbor. He was your friend. Keelan was the guy you were dating. Keelan was the guy you loved.

You start going through your closet, not really wanting to go but knowing that you were going to end up dragged out anyway, flipping through all your teaching clothes as if you thought there was anything in there that was appropriate for a bar and not for school.

You hear a knock on your door, Fran poking her head into your room earning a scoff from you. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m still mad at you,” you respond, not looking at her.

“That’s fair,” she says, plopping herself on your bed next to the pile of clothes that you were forming from your closet. “Does this mean you’re still coming with us?”

“Yeah, you’re paying for drinks.”

“That’s fair, too.” The two of you let silence come between you, you rummaging through your clothes to try to find something to wear while she fiddles with the hem of one of your shirts. “What if you did the black ripped jeans with this shirt?” Fran says, holding up something that you were sure was Maddy’s, probably stolen from her on a night when you were going out without her and buried amongst the rest of your clothes.

“Are you guys going home to change or what are you wearing?” you ask her, both of you pretending like you weren’t mad at her.

“Can I borrow something of yours?”

“Yep.”

She shuffles through your clothes some more, Maddy and Lindsey clamoring around in the kitchen to make something for the four of you to eat before you started drinking, not doing anything to try to be quiet. “You know I love you. I just want you to be with a guy that deserves you.”

You take in a deep breath, finally turning to Fran sitting on your bed. “How do you know that isn’t Keelan? I’ve been happy with him for how many years now?”

“You’ve been together since we were juniors which was, what, five years ago now? Four? Have you two even talked about anything like getting married or starting a family together?”

You think about it, knowing that you’ve seen proposals, you’ve definitely looked at rings, but it was never serious. You’ve watched movies with Keelan where the characters get engaged or get married, try to have a family, all of that, but you never did talk about it. You never thought of a future with him, you only thought of the present.

You shake your head, Fran giving you that sympathetic look that you didn’t want. “If you’ve been together for this long, and he’s not thinking about forever with you, then what’s he thinking of? You can love Keelan, but if he can’t promise to love you back forever, then you’re just wasting time.”

“You think so?” She shakes her head, but you wish she didn’t. “You’re not just saying this because you don’t like him?” you ask.

“I don’t like him because I’m saying this. He’s a good person, but I don’t like seeing you with him when I’m not sure he wants to be with you forever.” Before you can answer, you hear Maddy and Lindsey dropping something from your kitchen, knowing that whatever it was you were going to have to clean up yourself if you ever wanted it clean. “If you want your kitchen safe, I think we need to go out there,” Fran laughs, pulling you up from your bed. “We’ll change after we eat.”

The four of you eat and pre-game, thankful that Lindsey and Fran actually managed to clean up the mess well enough that you didn’t have to worry about it during your night out, Maddy no help even though she was the one who made it.

The boys said they would meet you at the bar, getting to Howl and texting Keelan to let him know where you were. Fran’s words had freaked you out. You knew you didn’t have to text Keelan where you were going, but there was something about the whole ‘if you’ve been together this long, shouldn’t you be talking about forever’ that made you feel like you had to. You and Keelan were happy, but did that mean that you have to be talking about marriage and kids and all that stuff? Was there something wrong with your relationship if you weren’t at this point?

“You look like you’re having a lot of fun,” Nolan’s voice snaps you out of what would turn into you spiraling. “What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, signaling to the bartender to get you another drink. “Nothing.”

“Good thing you don’t teach drama because you’re an awful actor,” he laughs, earning a glare from you. “Oh, come on, that was good.”

“Good thing you aren’t a comedian because you aren’t funny,” you fire back, a smile on your face as he laughs with you.

“Come on. What’s wrong? You can tell me anything,” he says, probably a little too flirty. But that’s something a friend would do. A friend would listen to you when you were having problems or when you were feeling down.

You sigh, taking a sip of the new drink in front of you. “Fran said something about Keelan and I that bothered me.” He raises his eyebrows, urging you to tell him more. “Apparently they think I’m wasting my time being with him,” you tell him, looking off to the crowd at the bar, just spacing out with your attention on nothing in particular.

He swallows hard, thankful that you didn’t notice his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down at your words. If you were wasting your time, then that would mean you would break up with Keelan, wouldn’t it? He was thinking too far into this, wasn’t he? “Do you,” he hesitates, clearing his throat to try to cover up his nerves, “do you think you’re wasting your time?”

You shrug, turning your attention back to him. His cheeks were more red than normal, his blushing causing heat to rush to your own cheeks. At least if you broke up with Keelan, you could try with Nolan, right?

No. Because you weren’t breaking up with Keelan. But, “I didn’t. But now, I don’t know.” You set into a rant about what Fran said to you in your room, adding in the fact that Lindsey and Maddy told you they also felt that way, but Lindsey still didn’t like him based on the fact that he was on the crew team and she had decided to hold that petty grudge even though that was a few years ago at this point. “I love him. But we have been together for a while, so why haven’t we even talked about it?”

“Do you see yourself marrying him?”

You stop and think about it. Before you can answer his question, Lindsey and Maddy whisk you away to dance, leaving Nolan at the bar with your drink. He sits and watches you, pretending not to hear the girl who had approached him and tried to have a conversation with him. He wasn’t trying to be rude, but he couldn’t help but focus all his attention on you. He studied you as you moved, the fluid motions in sync with the rhythm of the music, the laughter that escaped your lips when you hear Maddy and Lindsey sing, probably off key, the smile on your face as you joined in with them.

Nolan takes your drink back with him to the table, his teammates sitting there, unsurprisingly not getting up from the corner they had occupied. He doesn’t listen to them as they talk, Kevin and Travis being obnoxious as always. He found you again at the bar, leaning against it and talking to Maddy, Lindsey and Fran nowhere in sight.

“Nolan,” Travis calls to him, finally getting his friend’s attention. “Why are you over here if she’s over there?” he asks, pointing to you.

“Why would I go over there?” he deadpans, not wanting to be reminded that he was falling for you, hard and fast when he shouldn’t be.

“You’re in love with her and you want to be with her?” he states as if it were obvious, Nolan glaring at him while his teammates nodding. Nolan wasn’t that discrete when it came to his feelings about you to any of the guys, apparently. With you, he was sure you had no idea, but with them, they could read him like a book, something he hated at this moment.

Before he could answer, Keelan appears, as if by magic, his arms wrapped around you from behind. Nolan could see you tense up for a moment, not knowing who it was. You look down at your waist, a smile on your face as you come to realize it was your boyfriend, Nolan wanting nothing more than for him to be the one surprising you and holding you like that.

“Is that the boyfriend?” Oskar asks, right as you squeal in delight that he had come to see you, kissing him, your one hand on his shoulder, the other at the back of his neck, fingers intertwined with the curls there.

“Yep,” Nolan lets out, burying his face in his hands.

“He’s pretty hot,” Travis lets out, Kevin smacking him in the chest.

“Then you date him,” Kevin chirps, Nolan not wanting to say anything else to them.

“Karly might have something to say about that.”

Nolan tunes out the boys, their banter something he wanted nothing to do with, probably about him fawning over you while you were there, Keelan’s hands on you as the two of you danced, your foreheads touching and not taking your eyes off each other. If you were worried about the future, it didn’t show, enjoying the moment that was happening in front of you.

“Hey, come dance with me,” Fran snaps Nolan away from you, her hand extended to Nolan.

“Sure, why not,” Nolan mumbles, trying to be excited about dancing with your best friend, ignoring the guys hollers as they watched their friend get up with a girl, actually saying yes to someone who approached him.

The two of them start talking, falling into a weirdly easy conversation. People started gathering on the dance floor, pushing the two of them together, Nolan’s hand finding Fran’s back, pulling her closer to him. For the first time since he met you, he wasn’t thinking about you. He didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol, but Fran was right there, single, beautiful, funny. You had mentioned that going out with the guys was Fran’s idea, so did that mean Fran wanted Nolan for her? Should he be focusing his attention on someone who didn’t have a seemingly serious boyfriend? Probably.

You and Keelan get interrupted by Maddy and Lindsey, finally prying Keelan’s body off you. “Have you seen Fran?” Lindsey yells over the music.

“Not for a while, no,” you tell her, Keelan’s arms wrapping around you, both of you still moving with the music.

Maddy cranes her neck, trying to see over the crowd. You see her eyes go wide, grabbing Lindsey’s arm to show her what she was seeing. You follow their gaze, finding Fran and Nolan dancing together, her arms draped on his shoulders, him holding her as close as Keelan had been holding you. Fran kept her word about moving in on Nolan. “Good for her,” you swallow hard, Maddy and Lindsey turning back to you, shocked. “What?” you ask as if nothing were wrong.

Keelan had felt your entire body tense up when you saw Nolan and Fran. It was probably nothing, though. You were just happy for your friend, your body having an involuntary reaction to seeing her with someone you knew instead of a complete stranger like she normally was. He didn’t think anything of it. He didn’t want to think anything of it.

________________________

“You’re still at school? It’s four already,” Keelan’s voice fills your classroom from your phone speaker, the building empty except for the teachers still roaming around.

You sigh, putting down your pen, pushing aside your lesson plan book. “Yeah. It’s parent-teacher conferences tonight, so I’m just staying until those are over. There’s no point in me driving all the way home just to have to drive all the way back.”

“What are you doing for dinner?”

“Ya know,” you start, getting up from your desk to stretch your legs as if you weren’t on your feet all day, “Hadn’t thought about that. I’ll probably just throw together whatever is in the fridge when I get home.”

“Babe, that’s going to be almost nine, you can’t wait that long,” Keelan says, concern in his voice.

You shrug even though you knew he couldn’t see you. “It’s fine, I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“What time is the first conference?” he asks, extraneous noise coming from his end. It sounded like he was getting into his car, starting it up and driving off to whatever it was he had to do, even though you were sure he still had to be at work for another hour.

“Uh, 6, why?”

“Just wondering.” The two of you stay on the phone for a little while longer, talking about anything you felt like until he had to go for whatever reason.

You get back to filling out your plan book, looking through your one from last year and the hundreds of lesson plans you had on your computer, using the time for prep that you were supposed to get during the day, even if you were always called to cover another class or just had other things to do in general.

Someone knocks on your door, praying that you were right to call, “it’s open.”

“Delivery,” Keelan pokes his head in, holding up a bag of what you presumed was food based on the smell. “Still have some time to eat with me?”

“Keel!” you squeal, jumping up from your desk chair to greet him. You pull him into your room, grabbing some paper towels to clean off one of the lab benches quickly so you could eat, not a hundred percent trusting your students to clean up all the chemicals they could potentially spill on the table tops. “What’s this for”?

He starts unpacking the food, handing you a container with your favorite dish from Sabrina’s. “You didn’t sound like you were too sure you had food you could eat, and knowing you and Maddy, you’re probably on the end of food from your last shopping trip. Plus,” he says, leaning closer to you, “this way, I get to have dinner with my girl.” His lips connect to yours, quick and sweet so the two of you could get to eating.

For the first time, you were focused on just Keelan, Nolan not lingering in your thoughts. Keelan was the guy for you, you were sure of it. You were almost sure of it, at least, Fran’s words still swimming around in your mind. “Hey,” you start, finishing the bite of food you took, “Have you ever thought about our future?”

Keelan freezes, confused and probably caught off guard by the question. “Our future?” he repeats, “What do you mean?”

“Like, us. Are you going to be my boyfriend forever, or is anything going to happen?” you start, not sure how to put it otherwise.

He shrugs, focusing on his food. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

Your shoulders drop, wishing that his answer wasn’t the same as yours. “You’ve never thought about us getting married or having kids. Nothing?”

“I never thought of my life without you, but never explicitly thought of marriage, I guess?” You nod, not wanting to look at him in the moment. You had parents coming in less than twenty minutes at this point, wishing that you hadn’t asked him this question now. “Hey,” he says, reaching out and touching your hand. “When I think of the future, I think of you and I being happy together. We don’t need to be married to be that. Do we?”

“I don’t know. It wouldn’t hurt.”

“You want to get married?”

You open and close your mouth like a fish, realizing that Lindsey and Maddy pulling you away from Nolan at Howl was the right thing to do, because you still had no answer a few days later. Before you could tell him you didn’t know anything, Javier comes into your room, Anderson not far behind.

“Have you taught Electrochem yet?” Anderson’s voice booms for no reason, Javier somehow looking both annoyed and panicked at the same time.

“Yeah, last month. Have you taught Electrochem yet?”

“No,” Anderson says. “I thought we were doing it after gas laws.”

“We have never done it after gas laws,” you tell him, getting up from the lab table. “We do it with types of reactions because of half reactions and redox.”

Anderson starts going off about how all three of you are supposed to be on the same page, Javier and Keelan awkwardly just there in your room while you shuffle through your box of papers.

“Anderson, aren’t you the one who put the Galvanic Cell on the midterm? Is this why every single kid of yours got it wrong last year, because you teach it too late?” you say, handing him a packet while his face turns red, “Just take this, Javier and I made it a few years ago and it works.”

“We need to be on the same page from now on,” he tells you before storming out.

“How is it our fault that he doesn’t listen when we say this is what we’re teaching next?” Javier asks, sitting down next to Keelan, putting his face in his hands.

“At least we know why his students do shitty on that page of the midterm.”

“Anderson really is a jerk,” Keelan pipes in. “Didn’t he blame you for grading his students wrong on the midterm last year?” he asks. You had filled Keelan in on how you guys split up the grading since you all gave the same midterm; you had the first four pages, Javier the next four, and Anderson the next three. Anderson’s kids always did awful on the first eight pages, somehow redeeming themselves when he put the grades in.

You nod, the principal coming over the loudspeaker to alert the teachers that the parents were there. “I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe?” you tell Keelan, cleaning up in a hurry.

He says yes, kissing you goodbye and running out the door to go home, probably, Javier lingering behind for a moment. “You two ok?”

“How could you possibly think something was wrong,” you say, slightly sarcastic.

“I can read you like a book.”

“Yeah, well, I guess there should be a book club,” you groan. “Nolan says the same thing.”

“Tell me fast,” he says, both of you standing outside your doors to greet parents and try to direct them around the school in the event that they were lost, something that was very easy to do if you weren’t in the building every day.

“Fran said something about how Keel and I haven’t talked about our future together and we just talked about it,” you say, praying that the parents passing you by weren’t that focused on your conversation and instead were looking at the numbers on the doors.

“And what does that future look like?”

“The same as the present.”

“You could always go for Nolan,” he jokes, throwing his hands up in defense. “I’m kidding.” He leaves, one of his student’s parents showing up at his door.

You were waiting for Darren’s mom, Mrs. Alexander a few minutes late. “Ms. Y/L/N!” you hear someone yelling, a woman who looked just like Darren trying to sprint down the halls. “I’m sorry I’m late! I got lost!”

“Don’t worry about it,” you chuckle, the contrast between Darren’s shyness and his mother’s lack thereof somehow not surprising. “Come on in.”

The two of you sit at one of the lab benches, pulling out your notebook and pen. “Darren has made some great improvements this semester, this month especially,” you start, handing her a print out of his grades. “Grade-wise, he’s one of my top students. He’s smart, he knows what’s going on, I have no worry about how he’s going to do on the upcoming midterm.”

“That’s so good to hear,” she says, her finger running along the sheet that displayed A after A on it.

“And he’s talking with Sydney when we do labs, especially since we had some of the Flyers come in the class and work with them. Something Nolan Patrick did really stuck with him.”

She smiles, taking in a deep breath, “That would make this the only class he talks in.”

“Well, progress is progress. One class is better than none, talking with one classmate is better than no one.” She looks down at the paper, trying to force herself to be happy. “Mrs. Alexander. Darren is a great kid. He’s not the most talkative, but he’s getting there. I don’t want to force him to talk if it’s not something he’s comfortable with, but anything you want me to do, you know I’ll do it.”

“He likes to draw,” she says, starting to shuffle through her bag. “He loves talking about his drawings, too.”

“So do you think if I had him draw more in class, work that into my lessons for him, that he would be more open to talking?”

“He might. It’s worth a try if you can,” she say, slipping a piece of paper across the desk. It was a self portrait of him, your classroom in the background. Nolan was sitting next to him, doing the experiment from the other week. “He came home that day, went to his room, drew this, and then told me in detail about class. I’ve never seen him so excited about this before.”

You stare at the detail of the drawing in awe, from the dimples on Darren, the bubbles in the Erlenmeyer while it was heating, right down to Nolan’s rosy cheeks. “This is incredible.”

“He wanted me to have you give it to Nolan, if you could.”

The principal comes over the speakers again to have parents move to the next class they were going to, you now waiting for one of your CP student’s parents to arrive. “I will. Thank you, Mrs. Alexander”

Both of you get up from the table, walking over to the door. “No, thank you, Ms. Y/L/N.”

The rest of the parent-teacher conferences go by in a blur, you not focusing on anything other than the memory of Nolan and Darren working together. You did secretly love parent-teacher conferences, as late as they were, because it helped you get to know the student’s family background just a little bit more. A teacher is only good if they know their students, a student will only trust their teacher if they know them. You lived by that statement.

By the end of the night, you were exhausted, wanting nothing more than to change into a pair of sweats and curl up in bed until you passed out for the night. You were about to call Nolan to ask him if you could stop by for a minute to give him the picture Darren drew of him when Lindsey’s name popped up instead. “Hey, Linds, I’m driving home from school,” you preface as you start your car, “What’s up?”

“Mind if I stop by and hang out for a bit?” she asks, you hearing Fran yell something you couldn’t make out in the background.

“Sure. Maddy’s home, too, tonight, I think. So if I pass out, you’ll still have her unless she also passes out.”

You didn’t think anything of it, pulling up to your apartment as Lindsey did, too, Fran stepping out of the car and before you could.

“Hey,” you call to her, watching Fran run over to Nolan and Kevin’s door, a dress and heels on, her hair and makeup done perfectly. “Where’s she going?”

"Uh," Lindsey stammers, not sure what to tell you. "A date."

Before you can question it, Nolan opens the door, kissing Fran, taking her hand and leading her over to his car. You stood there, frozen, surprised that Fran had gone further than she did at Howl the other night, watching as Nolan and Fran drive away to go out on a date.

[httpbryce]

martin del rosario & he/they/any / demi-man ‷ watch out , bryce sirilan has crash-landed into roswell !! they look 32 years old and celebrate their birthday on january 20. they are from bacolod, philippines, reside in tripp’s trailer park and are currently working as bartender @ wild pony. one thing you should know about them is they dress up in drag sometimes at planet 7 (for fun, not work). ‷ ( thia, she/her/they, 20, gmt )

HEY besties i’ve got another muse and i love them very much. info under the cut ( tw for discussions of homophobia and general lgbtphobia )

BASICS

full name: bryce sirilan

age: 32

birth date: january 20, 1990

ethnicity: mostly filipino (hiligaynon and bicolano), some amount of white heritage

sexuality: big bisexual... w/ a leaning towards women / fem ppl

relationship status: single 

languages spoken: hiligaynon (native), tagalog (fluent), english (fluent), bicolano (basic bc his mom never taught him properly)

pronouns: he/they (but they don’t mind other pronouns like she unless ur being a piece of shit and using them to mock him lmao)

bryce is the oldest sibling and would’ve been the golden child. he was smart and reliable and shit. the problem for his family? bryce was sure that they were Not Cishet from a very young age. probably since kindergarten. they did not like that

speaking as a queer filipino, i know that filipinos tend to treat sexuality and gender as interchangeable. if you’re amab (assigned male at birth) and turn out queer in any way (though honestly i’ve seen this concept be applied to effeminate cishet men too), you’re assumed to be a Gay Man.

and there’s nothing wrong with being a gay man ofc. bryce embraced it tbh, it was their first label. they also fit the usual filipino of a camp gay dude.

i mean, when he decided to change his birth name he considered “carey” bc mariah carey and he’s pretty sure he subconsciously ended up using bryce bc it was a subtle nod to britney spears. (bryce siralan does sound a bit like britney spears, doesn’t it?)

but that wasn’t who bryce was. he’d learn that later.

he abandoned his immediate family to follow his supportive aunt to the usa when he was 13ish? so yeah, he grew up here in roswell.

when he was in his late teens maybe, he met ppl who taught him that sexuality and gender are separate. if you ARE a gay man ofc and you’re campy and everything, there’s nothing wrong w/ that! but your gender expression doesn’t inherently determine your sexuality, he learned. and there’s a whole spectrum of lgbtq+ identities

in that period of time, they thought about it and realized that they were nonbinary and bi.

anyway, they could’ve pursued a hotshot career bc they’re brainy but they don’t want that life.

they grumble about their annoying, mundane job at wild pony sure but lowkey they’re very grateful for it!!! yeah sure it’s boring and stressful but it’s part of the charm for him. just being able to live a normal life is good enough for him

they have enough money to leave tripp’s trailer park rn and fend for himself (and just himself, realistically) but doesn’t want to abandon their aunt & cousins.

yeah he likes to dress up in drag and yes his fc has gifs in drag so tune in

he’s honestly more into women but is much more insecure about pursuing them romantically. for reasons he thinks are obvious -- society doesn’t rly expect a (demi-)guy who can walk perfectly in 6-inch heels to be into women at all.

they’d like to explore their attraction to women more, though. they’re attracted to men/masc-presenting ppl too though! and androgynous peeps.

on that 6-inch heels note: bryce is 6′0″, which is tall but not terrifyingly so. in heels he can be as tall as 6′6″ and seeing ppl get intimidated/startled by it makes him happy njansdjasdjn he’s a troll sometimes srry

“certified Best Kisser and thats why i dated him” --testimony from thee @nfldunn​ himself KDMSKNDJN

dating gunner in high school kinda left them with abandonment issues rip </3

anyway that’s all for now! pls do plot with us!

[little-diable]

Long lost love - Edward Cullen (angst)

Request by anon: Imagine where Edward was in love with a girl from his past who he though was dead and finds her again passing through forks running from the voulturi since she is very powerful and of use to them but Edward thought that Bella was his soulmate and is torn when she comes back? I’m sorry if it was confusing!

I normally don’t write for Edward, so please, bear with me if it isn’t too good. Enjoy. xxx

A weird feeling flooded through his veins, something he hadn’t felt for the past fifty years, his eyebrows were furrowed together as the weight of his conscious had his feet nailed to the ground. 

It couldn’t be, there was absolutely no way the she was close by, why would she even be in Forks, she was supposed to be dead, also (y/n) had never been a massive fan of the USA, Europe was her home, she preferred the people, the culture, the food - the blood-,  enjoyed their way of life. His gut was clenched as his golden eyes found the ones of a long lost love, her eyes were golden as well, something he wasn’t used to.   

(Y/n) couldn’t move, it felt as if she was frozen on the spot, she felt dizzy, it couldn’t be him, in no way could that man be Edward Cullen, the man that once conquered her heart, almost sixty years ago. As he took a step forward, (y/n) took one backwards, she ran her right hand through her hair.

“You’re alive.” His voice still sounded the same, he didn’t change much, even though he kind of looked more grown up. 

“Seems like it.” A wave of affection flooded through his veins, Edward didn’t think twice as he grasped her wrists and pulled her against his cold chest, she still smelled the same, how much he had missed her scent. “What are you doing here, (y/n)?” His voice was raspy as he kept on hugging her, Edward wasn’t ready to let go, his mind began to wander, memories of the both of them together came flooding back, oh, how much he had once loved her.

It took her quite a while to explain to him why she was hiding away from the Volturi, her hands were tightly clutching his middle as he kept on holding her against his chest, how much she had missed him. Edward wouldn’t let go of her as he took her back to the Cullens mansion, the whole clan used to be like her second family, she once had been Rosalies best friend, met Edward through her and fell head over heels in love with the boy.  

“(Y/n)?” Rosalies voice was hushed as she looked at the girl she once called her best friend, the blonde girl pulled (y/n) in for a bone crushing hug, venom pooled in both of their eyes. The whole family gathered around (y/n) as she told them how she managed to run away and hide from the Italian vampires. “You can stay with us as long as you like (y/n).” Carlisle patted her shoulder. 

Edward was confused, (y/n) wouldn’t leave his mind, he once again remembered why he fell in love with her, but as soon as his phone rang and he read the name “Bella,” he couldn’t stop the groan from leaving his lips. Of course, Bella, how could he forget about his girlfriend, the girl that was supposed to be his soulmate, his forever. “Are you okay?” (Y/n) placed her hand on the small of his back as she stepped closer, Edward couldn’t look into her eyes, for some reason he felt guilty, but he wasn't quite sure why. 

“Just my girlfriend.” Even though Edward whispered the last part, (y/n) could understand him quite clearly, of course he had a girlfriend, her dead heart began to bleed as she realized what he was just telling her. Edward interlaced his fingers with hers. “I’m sorry (y/n), we all thought that you were dead, I had to move on, otherwise I wouldn’t have survived.” His voice began to break.  

(Y/n) could only nod her head “yes”, slowly she let go of his hand and walked out of the room, Edward wasn’t quite sure why it felt like another “goodbye”, but as he felt her presence leave the house, his heart began to break once again. Even though he knew that Bella was his mate, he couldn’t get (y/n) out of his mind, his heart would always hold a special place for the (y/h/c) haired girl. 

[official-weasley]

Love, William (Bill Weasley x OC) - Chapter 7

WARNINGS: absolutely nothing except Umbridge

Chapter 7 - Bill's Birthday Present

Dear Eric,

thank you for sending me a birthday present a week earlier – it was a nice surprise as always! Of course, Fred, George, and I already ate all the candy you sent me but that scarf is stunning and will come in handy as it’s currently snowing outside.

Your present got me all excited about my birthday. I know Fred and George are planning something because they are constantly giggling and whispering when they think I’m not paying attention. I will officially be an adult in the Muggle world. I am not sure what to do with that information but I can’t wait either way!

I admire you for having faith that our mother will stop pushing me to be more like you. You asked if she had a change of heart yet about the shop and the answer is no. She doesn’t want to hear about it and when I mentioned it when I was home for Christmas, her face got all screwed up and green as if she’s going to vomit.

I appreciate that you are trying to persuade her to give me a chance but since I have given up hope a long time ago, you don’t have to waste energy on it either.

Oh, and speaking about the shop! Fred and George think we might have finally found the right place! It’s in Diagon Alley, which is perfect if I say so myself because Diagon Alley doesn’t have a joke shop yet and I reckon that will be great for business.

I haven’t seen it yet. Fred and George went there during Christmas break. They said that it would need quite a lot of work but they think it’s going to pay off! We are going to go and talk to the owner during Easter break to arrange matters further. We don’t want to get too excited – we still have to graduate and pass our N.E.W.T.s. Mum would have my head if I don’t finish school, can you imagine!

I would like you to know that I am still keeping our family legacy of Filch pranking alive! As I told you before, he is the perfect test subject for our products and since we perfected the Screaming Yo-yo over the summer, the twins and I couldn’t resist throwing one into his office while he was asleep. I wish you could be there when he started screaming. He ran into the hallway and actually said to me that I was just like my brother – disobedient and good for nothing.

I think that might just have been the sweetest thing Mr. Filch has ever said to me! Can you believe he remembers you?

However, I wish I could say that Mr. Filch is our biggest concern these days. That Umbridge woman has completely lost her mind. DADA has never been so boring and we keep getting detention! But we have it easy, you should have seen what she’s done to Harry! She’s mental that one. Hermione told me that she made him write lines because he is lying that You-Know-Who is back.

Who would ever lie about something like that? The Ministry is losing it and I am glad that you are in the USA and not here to witness this nonsense.

Ms. Pink Lady Toad keeps creating rules that just don’t make any sense. We can barely whisper in the hallways now. A couple was snogging on a bench on the second floor the other day and she not only pulled them apart but gave them a month’s worth of detention. A MONTH!

Anyway, there might be some light at the end of the tunnel. There’s a reason I asked you to send me that advanced spellbook you used for your Auror training. Harry is recruiting people to start some sort of a defense class. Godric knows that Umbridge isn’t going to teach us anything and he is taking matters into his own hands!

Hermione made us these coins to know when our next meeting. Fred and George can’t wait and we all know it’s going to be better than any class.

I have to go now, I have DADA in 15 minutes and I have to send this letter to you before I go in case I die of boredom in that class.

Thank you again for the birthday present and for supporting me in what I want to do with my life – it means the world to me.

I miss you and know that I can’t wait to see you over the summer!

Love and a big hug, Theo

PS. I remembered that you mentioned that you have an annoying co-worker in one of your previous letters so I am sending you a bag of Invisibility Powder. It’s a product Freddie and I developed. You mix it in someone’s drink and their hair is going to turn invisible for 3 days making them look as if they were bald. Have fun with it and reminisce on your mischief days!

—

“Late again, Miss Cork.” Professor Umbridge said sluggishly when Theodora entered the classroom.

“I apologize, professor. I was in the Owlery, sending a letter.” Theodora bowed her head and went to sit next to George.

“A letter?” A hollow laugh escaped Umbridge’s mouth. “And who might you be writing to?”

“I think that is none of your business,” Fred said through his teeth.

“That’s professor to you, Mr. Weasley. I am Hogwarts High Inquisitor and I have the power to make it my business to know who the students are writing to.” The professor stepped closer to where Fred was sitting, her head slightly tilted to the side.

“I was wr-”

Theodora had nothing to hide so she just wanted to get the attention off her by telling Umbridge who the letter was for but George’s hand over her mouth stopped her.

“You don’t have to tell her anything,” George whispered to her.

“Oh, but she does.” Umbridge’s lips curved into an evil grin and Theodora knew what was coming. “Perhaps we should establish a new rule. No letters in or out without me knowing about them.”

“Are you mental?” Fred stood up.

“That's privacy invasion!” George followed.

“Sit down the both of you!” Umbridge glared at them until they did what they were told.

“She’s right to be concerned, you know.” Theodora turned to George, with a mischievous expression on her face.

She knew what she was about to say next will get her in detention but she didn’t care. She simply had no energy to listen to Umbridge trying to boss people around.

“Elaborate, Miss Cork.” Umbridge cleared her throat.

“I was writing a letter to one of my confidants in America. We are forming an alliance with them against the Dark Lord.” Theodora smirked.

If she wanted information that had nothing to do with her, might as well lie about it and make her furious.

“How dare you!” Umbridge turned as pink as the bow around her neck. “What is wrong with you students?” She furrowed her brows and started walking towards Theodora’s desk, slowly. “How many times do I have to say that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is not back?!”

“And how many times do we have to tell you that he is?” Fred rolled his eyes and slammed a book against his head.

All Gryffindors started to laugh, while Slytherins made faces of disgust and shock.

“That’s enough!” The professor hit the floor with a loud thump of her foot.

Silence filled the classroom.

“Would you like detention again, Mr. Weasley?”

“Gladly!” Fred hissed at her. “At least it won’t be as boring as this class!”

Umbridge and a few Slytherins gasped.

“A month, Mr. Weasley! Starting in this classroom, tonight at 7!” She said, shaking.

Fred shrugged his shoulders, put his book in his bag, glanced at George and Theodora, and started towards the door.

Exchanging one look, George and Theodora stood up as well and followed Fred.

“And where do you think you are all going?” Umbridge questioned them.

“You already gave detention to my brother, so I see no point for him to stick around and we always serve detention together so you’ll be seeing both of us tonight, professor,” Fred replied.

“And I am joining them because this class is as dull as they get and without Mr. and Mr. Weasley I might just die of boredom in your class. Honestly, professor, I fear for my life.” Theodora said sarcastically, making Fred and George giggle.

George put his arm around Theodora’s shoulders and without saying another word, they left the classroom, leaving professor Umbridge speechless and with her mouth opened.

—

“I still can’t believe you went after me,” George whispered to his two friends, the second Umbridge left the classroom during their detention.

“What else were we supposed to do, I hate that woman.” Theodora frowned.

“We have to come up with something and get her out of this school.” Fred thought out loud.

“That would do everyone a favor.” Theodora rubbed her chin. “But what?”

“I don’t know yet but it’s never too late to start brainstorming,” Fred smirked while the other two nodded in agreement.

“So, Theo,” George prodded her, “your birthday’s in a week. What are your plans?”

“I don’t have plans.” Theodora chuckled.

“Good.” Fred clapped. “I mean, whatever.”

“Right, as if I don’t know that you two are up to something.” Theodora lifted an eyebrow at her best friends.

“Maybe we are, maybe we aren’t.” George sent her a wink.

“18 is a big one! You’ll be able...you’ll...wait what are you allowed to do when you turn 18?” Fred asked puzzled as he couldn’t come up with a single thing.

“In the Wizarding world nothing much since we come of age at 17 but in the Muggle world she will finally be a grown-up.” George giggled.

“A grown-up? She will have to mature for that.” Fred joked.

Theodora pursed her lips playfully and smacked them both over the head, then joined them in a fit of laughter.

Their faces straightened and they went back to writing lines when they heard Umbridge coming back, pressing their lips together hard, not to continue laughing.

—

“What do you think you’re doing?” Fred sat down next to Theodora, almost making her spit out her porridge – startling her.

“The last time I checked it’s called eating?” Theodora blinked at him.

“I mean, running away from us like that. Don’t you think we don’t know what day it is today?” Fred explained his question.

“I didn’t run away.” Theodora laughed. “I woke up, saw that you two weren’t in the common room yet, and went down for breakfast.”

“Sounds like running to me, what do you think, Georgie?” Fred’s eyes turned from Theodora to his brother who was sitting on the opposite side of the table.

“I couldn’t agree with you more,” George said with a smug expression on his face.

“Then I would like to deeply, from the bottom of my heart, apologize to you,” Theodora said in a dramatic voice, placing her hands over her chest.

“Apology accepted.” Fred grinned.

“Now that that’s out of the way,” George stood up, climbed across the table, and sat on Theodora’s other side, “happy birthday, Theo.”

The twins kissed Theodora’s cheeks – one on each side – and hugged her.

“Thank you.” Theodora giggled with a hand over her mouth.

“You’ll get your present after the Quidditch practice,” Fred said excitedly.

“Please tell me, we are not pranking anyone today?” Theodora pleaded.

“Nothing of the sorts, we promise.” George smiled innocently.

Before Theodora could ask more about her present an owl dropped a letter in her lap. George got up and crawled under the table to sit back on the other side, while Fred sat a bit away from her so she could read the letter in private.

Theodora wondered who the letter could be from. She already received her gift and birthday letter from Eric. He was always afraid that it wouldn’t arrive in time so he sent it a week in advance every year.

She knew she couldn’t expect anything from her mother. It would be a miracle if she would even remember that it’s her daughter’s birthday. The last time she heard her mother say ‘happy birthday’ to her was when Eric was still at school.

She opened the envelope and took out the neatly folded piece of parchment. Before she could fully unfold it, she saw the name signed below the message. Her heart skipped a beat and her eyes widened.

She folded the letter back up – without reading it – and put it back in its envelope. She never expected to get a letter from this person and she most certainly knew she can’t read its content in front of the twins.

The letter was from Bill.

“Who’s the letter from?” George asked upon seeing Theodora’s flustered expression.

“It’s...uhm...it’s from Eric.” She mumbled knowing they won’t ask further questions if it’s concerning him.

“Do you always blush when you get a letter from your brother? Because that’s concerning.” Fred raised his eyebrows at his best friend.

“No...I...” The red on Theodora’s cheeks deepened. “I think I just got my period.” She blurted out and stood up.

She couldn’t get out of the Great Hall fast enough. She knew that the twins won’t buy her lie about her getting her period. They knew when she was grumpy and need to give her space and that’s not happening for another 2 weeks.

She also couldn’t deny that the curiosity about why Bill sent her a letter was growing in her chest with each minute.

She hurried up the stairs to the second floor – where better to have a private moment than in Myrtle’s bathroom?

She double-checked if she was alone, besides sobbing Myrtle in the second bathroom stall.

She put the toilet lid down and sat on it. She took the letter out of the inner pocket of her robes and stared at the envelope, her hands shaking.

She would be lying if she said that she forgot all about Bill and the time they spent together during the summer. She was hoping she will stop thinking about him once she returned to Hogwarts but wasn’t so lucky – she missed him.

After that disastrous day of them being locked in the broom closet together, they didn’t say another word to each other until Bill’s departure to Egypt when they said an awkward goodbye.

Bill was mostly in his room and once Fred and George apologized to her for the 10th time for what they have done and she asked them to never talk to Bill about her again, she convinced them to work on their products even more than before so they barely left the room.

It was January now and even though she still sometimes couldn’t sleep – thinking about him – she was certain that Bill forgot she ever existed. The letter in her hands proved her wrong and she didn’t know how to feel about it.

She didn’t see much of the letter in the Great Hall but she could swear she saw the word birthday written down. She didn’t know that Bill knew when her birthday was.

She took a deep breath and took the parchment out of the envelope. She closed her eyes and unfolded the paper – perhaps that way she’ll get more courage to read it.

She opened one of her eyes, the other still closed, pretending she wasn’t dying to read what Bill wrote to her.

Dear Theodora,

I hope this letter arrives in time. If my calculations are correct, you should receive it with owl post in the morning on your special day.

I know this is short but a longer letter and a gift will be waiting for you on your bed after your Quidditch practice today.

Happy birthday, Theodora.

Bill

Theodora was staring at a letter as if it was a death threat – all color left her face and she forgot how to breathe. She can’t be reading this correctly, Bill didn’t just send her a letter telling her he has a gift for her?

She closed her eyes, took another deep breath, opened her eyes back up, and reread the letter 5 more times. She wasn’t losing her mind, this letter was real. Her chest was falling and rising fast, her heart drumming loudly against her ribcage.

She knew she wasn’t over him but the way she was feeling – the anticipation of seeing what Bill got her – proved just how strong her feelings still were.

Another deep breath.

She has to calm down. It’s just a letter and just a small gift. She can’t afford to overthink this. They became really good friends over the summer so he sent her a little something – as a friend. That’s all, so she has to calm down.

“Oh, a letter from a boy.”

Theodora jumped in the air, hearing a voice behind her.

“Don’t you know it’s not nice to read a letter behind someone’s shoulder, Myrtle?” Theodora said with a shaky voice. “What got you all agitated and annoyed?” Myrtle felt offended.

“Never you mind, Myrtle.” Theodora put the letter back in the envelope and put it inside her bag.

“Where are you going?” Myrtle questioned when Theodora exited the stall and headed toward the exit door.

“I have Quidditch practice.”

“But I thought we were going to talk about boys.” Myrtle cried.

“No, thank you.” Theodora tried not to look terrified of that idea and rushed out of the bathroom.

—

“Cork, what is it with you today! Don’t you know how to score!” Angelina Johnson shouted across the Quidditch pitch.

“Sorry, I’ll try harder!” Theodora yelled back and sighed.

She couldn’t concentrate at practice at all. She was mad with herself for not waiting to open Bill’s letter after she got back to her dormitory. All she could think about was the fact that he wrote to her, that he remembered it was her birthday and that lingering question in the back of her mind why...why did he send her a gift?

“Give her a break, Angie. It’s her birthday.” Fred flew to Angelina and sent her a wink.

“And she’s on her period.” George appeared on Angelina’s other side.

“You didn’t just tell me that, George.” Angelina pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath before flying away from them.

“What? What did I say?” George turned to his brother.

“Girls.” Fred shrugged.

“Okay, team! Let’s try this again before we all become snowballs.” Angelina said to her teammates.

Theodora frowned and positioned herself next to Katie Bell, who was shaking on her broom. Playing Quidditch while it was snowing sucked. Theodora just wanted it to be over so she could go take a shower and crawl into her bed. She didn’t feel like celebrating her birthday at all. She hated that she couldn’t kill the curiosity in her head – the never-stopping question of what is waiting for her in her dormitory.

“You okay?” Fred whispered to Theodora once the practice was over.

“I just wasn’t feeling it and I don’t like flying in the snow. My fingers are freezing.” It wasn’t the whole truth but she wasn’t lying either.

“You’ll get warm soon enough.” George giggled.

“Okay, the practice is over. Are you going to tell me now what your big surprise is?” Theodora raised her eyebrows.

“Patience, oh, little one.” Fred patted her on the head.

“Just meet us in the common room in 10 minutes.” George tried to hide his grin but failed.

Theodora rolled her eyes and walked to the girl’s changing room. She took her time to change her clothes and she took the longest route back to the Gryffindor Tower, trying to deny herself the fact that she couldn’t wait to see what Bill got her. The twins said 10 minutes – she has to give them time to prepare whatever they have planned. This wasn’t about Bill at all – she lied to herself.

She stopped in front of the common room, the Fat Lady waiting for her to tell her the password.

Why was she making such a big deal out of this? It’s just a gift. She has to calm down.

After gathering the courage to say the password, the portrait hole opened and Theodora climbed inside.

“SURPRISE!”

She was so busy dusting her robes that she didn’t see a group of people standing in the middle of the common room. She jumped into the air, her hand on her chest as they scared the living ghost out of her.

A smile painted her face when she saw the familiar faces. Fred and George were standing on the sides, throwing confetti in the air. Ron, Harry, and Hermione smiling at her, holding birthday presents. Her three roommates were standing next to Ginny who had the biggest grin on her freckled face. Lee was singing happy birthday into a microphone and Angelina and Katie were waving two small Gryffindor flags.

Theodora didn’t know how to react. It was so nice that they threw her a little birthday party. Nobody has ever done that for her before. There was a table in the left corner with a punch bowl and cupcakes. Candles lit all around the room and a big Happy Birthday banner hanging from the ceiling.

After they all congratulated her and gave her the gifts, the crowd dispersed, and other Gryffindors joined the party. Some were drinking punch, others were eating cupcakes. A group decided to play Exploding Snap and most of the girls were giggling about something in front of the fireplace.

Theodora was leaning against a wall observing the guests of her party. She tried to enjoy it. She was so happy how it turned out and she was proud of the twins for pulling something like this off.

Her eyes escaped to her two best friends who were trying to sell Canary Cream to a third year, convincing him that it’s completely harmless, making Theodora shake her head and chuckle.

“Hi, Theo.”

She turned around to see Eddie, a boy in her year, stand next to her.

“I didn’t have a chance to wish you a happy birthday before.” He scratched the top of his head.

“Oh, it’s okay.” Theodora smiled at him.

“Well, happy birthday.” The boy said and hugged her awkwardly, despite Theodora’s extended hand – expecting a handshake.

“Thank you.”

“I...I wanted to ask you something and it’s okay if you say no,” Eddie mumbled, looking at the floor.

“Okay,” Theodora replied slowly.

“I kind of fancy you for a while now and...and I was wondering if you would like to go out with me sometime.” He blabbered.

“Oh.” Theodora breathed.

She didn’t expect that to come out of his mouth and didn’t know how to reply. She couldn’t deny that Eddie was extremely handsome – awkward but handsome. But she also couldn’t deny that she would rather be in her room, opening Bill’s present than talking to him which meant she wasn’t ready to move on.

“I’m sorry, Eddie. I’m flattered but I am kind of getting over someone.” She decided not to lie to him.

“Oh, I understand.” Eddie smiled sheepishly, trying not to sound disappointed. “Thank you for telling me the truth. Happy birthday again.”

Theodora nodded and bestowed him with a gentle smile. He turned on his heels and walked away.

“What’s wrong, Theo?” Fred leaned on the wall next to her.

“Don’t you like our surprise?” George bowed his head.

“I love it!” Theodora exclaimed. “I’m just tired and I was just asked out.”

She told the twins everything and it was killing her that she couldn’t discuss Bill’s letter with them but at the same time, she knew that they would tease her and make her go to her dorm to open the gift at once and she wanted to stall for as long as she could.

“By Eddie McNeal?” George sounded impressed.

“So when’s the big date?” Fred made a kissy face.

“I turned him down.” Theodora sighed.

Maybe she did that too quickly. Perhaps she should’ve said yes to him – he could help her get over Bill.

“Why?” George asked, puzzled.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Theodora replied honestly.

“Want to dance then?” Fred stepped in front of her and offered her his hand.

Theodora laughed, pushed herself away from the wall, and decided to forget about the world and spend her birthday with her amazing two friends.

—

It was 2 in the morning when Theodora started walking up the stairs to her dormitory. She had the biggest smile plastered on her face. She couldn’t believe how much fun she had with all her friends. This was definitely a birthday to remember.

She yawned as she reached her room and couldn’t wait to go to sleep. It wasn’t until she saw a rose, a letter, and a package that looked like a wrapped book on her bed that she realized she had so much fun that she forgot about Bill’s gift.

Her roommates were already asleep, which meant she could open it in private but it didn’t make her any less nervous.

She decided to unwrap the package first – just to get it over with and to avoid reading the letter for another minute or so.

She let out a silent gasp when she saw that Bill got her a book about how to start your own business. The book was on her reading list but she simply didn’t find the time to go to a Muggle bookstore and buy it.

She told Bill about the book one night when they were stargazing and she couldn’t believe he listened to her so attentively that he remembered she wanted to get it.

She put the book on her nightstand, excited to read it, and turned her gaze to the letter next to the rose. She hated how her heart was beating faster and faster in the anticipation of finally reading it.

She broke the seal and took two pieces of parchment out – Bill was not joking about this letter being longer.

Dear Theodora,

I hope my gift reached your dormitory and is set on the right bed. I was thinking for the longest time about what to buy for you and then I remembered the book you so enthusiastically talked about one night when we were outside observing the sky.

Hopefully, you didn’t already get it for yourself otherwise this will be one lousy present.

I wanted to gift it to you, to show my support and admiration of just how brave I think you are for standing up for yourself against your mother, supporting my brothers, and embarking on this journey with them.

I was thinking of getting you a white rose – knowing it’s your favorite color – but the symbol of a white rose is innocence and you, striving to achieve your dreams is more daring than innocent. I am proud of you for knowing what you want and not letting anyone tell you otherwise.

I hate to admit that I pondered for the longest time which color to get for you. I decided to go with orange in the end. It’s far from ordinary and they aren’t as common. Besides its meaning – being a symbol of enthusiasm and passion – it reminded me very much of how I see you.

You are incredibly gifted and extraordinary and people like you are hard to come by. You are enthusiastic and passionate about what you want to become and I wanted to get you something to remind you of that.

I hope I didn’t cross any lines with my gift. The last thing I would want is to make you uncomfortable on your special day.

Happy birthday again, Theodora.

Sending you a birthday hug,

Bill

Theodora sat on her bed with her mouth open. Her eyes, shining with tears – her eyelids gently fluttering – moved from the letter to the rose, untouched on her bed.

She picked it up and slowly brought it closer to her face. She closed her eyes and took a whiff of it – its beautiful smell filling her lungs.

She pressed the rose to her heart and reread the letter one more time, her mind completely blank. She didn’t know what to think of the letter at all. She definitely didn’t expect it to say what it did.

They were just friends, he was proud of her as a friend and friends can give each other flowers too, right?

She couldn’t allow herself to think too much about it – there was nothing she could do about the letter except to reply. Should she reply? And if so, what would she write back?

She tried remembering what Charlie sent her this morning, the owl waking her up by tapping on her window with her beak. She was friends with Charlie but he didn’t get her flowers. His letter was sweet and to the point – telling her he misses having her around, wishing her a happy birthday. Along with the letter he sent her a colorful beanie which he knitted himself ‘to warm you up when hot chocolate can’t’ – he explained in his letter.

She shook her head, smelling the rose again. Bill’s letter was just as friendly as Charlie’s and that’s all it is to it.

She put the rose inside a glass she had on her nightstand and disappeared under the covers, clutching Bill’s letter in her hand. With the help of the light coming from her wand, she reread it two more times before going to sleep.

Who was she fooling, thinking she’ll be able to fall asleep. She reread Bill’s words so many times that she knew them by heart now. She couldn’t stop thinking about it and she couldn’t stop beating herself with the question if she should reply to him or not.

Two more hours have passed and she was getting annoyed with herself. She has never spent a sleepless night thinking about a boy before. She can’t let this get to her. It was just a birthday present and she’s going to prove it to herself!

She got up, walked to her desk, and sat down. She picked up her quill and a piece of parchment and started replying to Bill. She will send him an owl in the morning and when Bill won’t reply to her, she will know for certain that she is overthinking this whole situation.

Dear Bill,

the gift reached me as you planned and I am deeply touched by it. I can’t believe you remembered which book I was blabbering about over and over. I was certain you stopped listening the second I mentioned it was about business.

Don’t you worry, I didn’t have the time to buy it for myself so you spared me some time and nobody else got it for me since you were the only one I told about it. I know what I am going to be doing for the next week when I don’t study for N.E.W.T.s!

I would like to thank you – not only for the gift but for being so supportive of me and your brothers. I know it’s a tricky path we are walking on but I feel it in my heart that it’s the right one.

My mother didn’t even congratulate me on my birthday so with everything I told you last summer you can imagine how much your support means to me. It’s nice to know that you are appreciated and cheered on and you have done just that with your letter, the book, and the rose.

The rose. I reckon I never saw an orange one before and you’re right, it isn’t ordinary at all – it’s beautiful and it smells divine. I am thinking of casting a spell on it so it doesn’t wither away. It’s a nice reminder of why I am doing what I am and I can’t find the words to express myself how thankful I am for it.

I have to admit that your gift pleasantly surprised me and it was far from crossing any lines or making me uncomfortable. It was a nice conclusion to my special day.

Thank you for the birthday wishes and the very thoughtful gift – it left me speechless.

Returning the birthday hug,

Theodora

[familyagrestefanblog]

Ml analysis: Native American miracle box

While is it obvious that the new miracle box is of native American origin I still went to do some research on it to see if I can narrow it down to a certain tribe and find more connections hidden in the lore.

So not to waste any time, here is my result:

The native American miracle box is in possession of the Souix Lakota tribe. Just like with the Ml Tibetan guardian monks represent not only 1 but 4 groups, the native American Miraculous tribe is a combination of the Lakota, Dakota and Nakota and where we can safely say that the monks will primarily lean towards the Tibet representation, I would say here we will primarily lean towards the Lakota. Therefore, I will call the native America Miraculous tribe Lakota but know that the other two tribes are included in this as well.

So a dead giveaway for the identity of the ml Tribe is Jessicas Shirt. In general Jessica has the hairstyle, the physical features and the accessories typical for representing an “Indian” character and her shirt is a direct confirmation of that heritage.

On her shirt is an obvious reference to the Lakota flag which pretty much tells us that this is the Tribe we are dealing with. Nice, why cant it always be this easy?

Under the cut I cover three more points to go into more detail, read more if you’re interested ^^

1. The medicine wheel

I must give it to miraculous, using the medicine wheel for the upper layer of the miracle box is one genius move imo.

The Medicine Wheel is a sacred symbol and way of life used by the indigenous Plains tribes to represent all knowledge of the universe. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough time to really get into its teaching and living ways to be comfortable explaining its practice in more details, so in this part I want to cover only what has been directly acknowledged by Thomas Astruc. And that would be the animals (duh, obviously) and the elements.

The first thing I had to learn the hard way in this research is that there is not one "true" way for this symbol to be arranged. The way its used, what animal belongs to which color or element and even what KIND of animal is in it can vary STRONGLY from location to location.

So I accepted that the arrangement can not be pinpointed down to perfect accuracy through research. We were already given all the animals and colors, now all I can really do here is present to you a possible variation of the miraculous arrangement I put together after looking up and trying to understand the differences between the real life ones to continue from here on.

There are only two animals we know for sure the connected color of: The eagle, Jessicas miraculous of freedom and the Thunderbird. In his tweets Thomas mentioned the elements so I decided to include them in the arrangement, how or if they will be incorporated into the show I can not tell you though. But still I wanted the elements in here as well ^^

As already said, the eagle is red and the thunderbird is in the green center. As you can see I put the bear to black, the Wolf to yellow and the Buffalo to white. Those seemed to me the most likely combinations and even if they don’t end up right, it wont do harm to any of this.

Buffalo: white and air because the Lakota have a white Buffalo woman legend where air was one of the main elements she controled and used.

Wolf: yellow and fire. Fire because in Lakota legends the wolf/ coyote is a very unpredictable animal. He's both a trickster and a hero, not always moraly sound but always clever. It's a dangerous but strong and lively nature that I do think the show could represent with the fire element. Yellow is one of the two cases where I was left with this option by default.

Bear: I choose black and water because that's a combination I have seen the most

Eagle: I already know Red and choose earth in combination. At first I thought about putting fire in this place because of its normal association with red but in the end choose earth because I think it's the element that fits the best to Jessica.

But the reason why I decided to include the elements is because of the green thunderbird in the middle. Because where the other 4 animals are connected with the 4 elements, the thunderbird would here represent inner balance and harmony. Of course this isn't it's power, but the layout makes it quite obvious that the thunderbird is the equivalent of the ladybugs and cats yin-yang. My assumption right now is that this is how the show will cover the different types of "balance" although the world cultures it incorporates, but let me come back to this one another time.

2. more cultural references and meanings

The thunderbird represents the most powerful one of this miracle box because the thunderbird is the one animal that is present in every Souix Lakota tribe and holds an enormous cultural and spiritual significance. It is a mythological bird and is associated with several legends starting from controlling the storms, lightnings and thunder to being the protector of the humans and even being a helper of the creation of reality (Reality in Ml are the LB and Cat hence why its place in the middle of the box is well deserved) It only makes sense that it would be chosen for this and I know it may seem cliché but please hear me out, which is why im convinced this is the miraculous of the chiefs.

A couple of details do support this for me but please remember I'm not exposed to alot of native American cultures I'll do my best to get things right but if I do interpret something(s) wrong feel free to correct me.

For one, well, the symbol. While looking up the clothing for a later point I did see a symbol like this on some of the feather headdresses.

Definitely not on all of them, I couldn't figure out if there is a system behind the pattern usage or tied to a distinct area but I do know that it is THERE and not exactly rarely either. Noticeably it isn't a 1 to 1 fit but that is an all time returning thing in miraculous. Real life and historical things like this have to be slightly altered for the show to be able to incorporate them. A great example for this is the old English flag in "Darkblade".

So at this point I'm used to this pattern, so yeah, this could very likely be a symbol they took inspiration from.

The second reason why I think it it's the miraculous of the chiefs is because the piece with the symbol on it looks like one of these

In combination with the feather on it. The feather headdress is also called a war bonnet and was originally only worn in battles and only by the person who has truly earned that honor. Each feather represents a distinct honor earned in battle which is why we see feather headdresses in such different lengths. How this translates perfectly into a miraculous I think is obvious. The headdress is a symbol of true leadership and worthiness of such a status, hence why it were especially the chiefs to earn such impressive ones. Turning it into a miraculous wouldn't change too much about it since such a powerful miraculous is an honor and duty you have to be worthy of as well. Them being originally used only for battles is a perfect fit too, because so are the miraculous.

Then of course once again, the thunderbird.

The thunderbird being the great mythical protector animal of these tribes makes it naturally a perfect fit for the miraculous animal of the great chiefs. The chiefs were not only the leaders they also were the primary warrior in battles which is seen by the war bonnets. Having the Thunderbird be the miraculous of the chiefs highlights their status as the tribes protector in such a genuine way, I personally really really love it.

As the last point of 2. I want to bring up the outside top of the Miracle box and the way its designed. While looking through the clothing symbols and pattern I did notice some that looked similar to the ones on the box. I deliberately tried to find a more recent example of usage because in the end of the day Miraculous is a show for TODAY so if the show used patterns for example that may not have been used in the past but are now associated with the Lakota that’s still valid. So the possible matches for design inspiration I found stem from a picture of chief Arvol Lookinghorse who holds the responsibility of spiritual leader among the Lakota, Dakota and Nakota People to this day.

3. Their location and monuments

Researching the lakota made me think of where this guardian group has its roots, which made me remember something I found on my guardian mountain - mount kailash theory a while ago (I swear right now everything comes back to that theory). In it I showed you the monuments-line around the world always separated by a length of 6666km between each other (basically the height of Mount Kailash) and while I didn't mention it there, there is also one of those "mythical" monuments in the USA.

The bears lodge butte (in Wyoming)

I mean LOOK at this, that is out of this world and breath-taking in every sense of the word! That is a location of a miraculous guardianship if I had ever seen one. Also known under the (sadly) much more well known name of "Devils tower" but this will be the one and only time you will read of me calling it like that. The fact that this butte is still officially called by this disrespectful and bastardized white peoples name is a freaking insult. I'm calling it the bears lodge as this was its original english name.

The bears lodge is not just a monument in the USA it is the VERY FIRST official monument (1906) and the location of the butte also checks out perfectly with the areas the Lakota settled in real life. I couldn’t get the exact scale but I think you will still understand just fine.

Adding to the Bears Lodge butte I also wanna bring up the "other" medicine wheel. Which is, just like Bears lodge, located in Wyoming.

As we know the rest of the native American miracle box is made of the zodiac signs just like in our normal miracle box. Confirmed not only on Twitter but also in the very intro of the New York special.

But the same way the miracle box is similar to ours the Medicine wheel as monument reminded me of something as well. Of course I'm talking about the ritual circle in the Kwami "dimension" of the box seen in “Sandboy”.

And just like the native American monument it is also of "astronomical" nature. Taking a closer look at the Chinese Kwami circle one can see that the outer ring is made of specific places for each Kwami signified with a picture of their "animal".

And in the inner circle is obviously the moon circulation.

Meaning, put very simple, this is a design specifically meant to represent the Chinese calendar and culture this miracle box is based on. Therefor this should also exist for the native american one. My guess Is that for all the boxes/cultures Miraculous is gonna include they will also have an “ritual circle” equivalents for each based on all the different kinds of stone circle monuments around the world, including the medicine wheel of the Lakota.

But not only was the medicine wheel monument used for astronomical purposes, with it the people wanted to give things back to mother nature. They placed things right in the middle of the wheel under the stones so nature could take it back "spiritually" (for a lack of a better word on my part) through their rituals and chants. Which is something once again similar to what we see with the Kwamis.

First if all, when the Kwamis (who are the embodiments of the abstract concepts reality is made of) enter their "dimension" in the miracle box the guardian symbol opens right at the center point, letting them cross the layers of reality.

Second, the Kwamis are obviously able to take material objects with them to the in-between dimension. Supporting and verifying the Lakota’s ritual because at the very least in the ML world its actually true. And thirdly, when the Kwamis try to reach Nooroo they chant as well and once again the collected energy is combined in the middle to cross the layers of reality. Gabriel is transformed though so he, as Hawkmoth, is able to almost take over the connection and therefore the miracle box if the Kwamis hadn’t blocked him.

This shows that the spiritual dimension layers are interactive from both sides under certain circumstances. A normal human being wouldn’t be able to cross the layers and take control like this but the more a person is involved with/ powered up by the miraculous the more power they hold interdimensional. Which is the idea of a ritual to reach the spiritual side of nature brought to a new 11 as TV shows usually do.

 4. The design of the guardian.

I'm definitely not the right person to properly judge this in depth therefore I will just showcase my opinion based on the research.

The way I see it for the guardians design they tried to combine the guardian "look" with the native American one.

The pants, staff and robe-like upper part are obviously influenced by the guardian we already saw through Fu's flashbacks, whereas the colors, the hairstyle and shoes (etc) are kept more Lakota-like. Though, as far as my opinion counts in this, the much darker skin and the eyebrows in comparison to Jessica does make me question if he is supposed to represent the same native American tribes as her. His bushy eyebrows are a physical characteristic I recognize in rarely any real life photos and neither did I notice such a noticeable difference in skin color.

Jessica and the guardian simply do not really look like they are of the same heritage to me, but again, who am I to say this isn't a legit representation? Besides that, it makes alot more sense that this guardian wasn't lost for almost 200 years like the ones in Tibet, so it is a fair option to consider that this black guardian may not be of "original Lakota heritage" but he is simply a worthy man born in this area of the USA (who knows in what year considering the guardians life spans) who was chosen and trained for the guardianship simply because he was the right fit for it just like Marinette.

I think it's only fair to consider that option as well, especially since we have NO official background on him. But that's just my opinion.

 And as the last thing I want to bring up is the symbol on his robe because this is something I'm going to need help with.

We can hardly see it and I've tried my best to find something in my research but I just couldn't find anything fitting.

If anybody has the means and knows if this is a cultural reference as well, I would appreciate it if this knowledge could be shared here as well. I really would love to know ^^