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bexo-tic · 4 years

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Breath Play - Spencer Reid X Reader

Spencer Reid X Reader Slow Burn

Season 10 Episode 17

Word Count: 3234

The sound of heels clicking overwhelms my senses. I can’t believe I’m here, in the BAU office. Sure, I’ve been here plenty of times during my childhood to visit my uncle, but this time I came to work. My heartbeat slows as I take in the familiar smell of coffee brewing. It’s almost nostalgic, reminding me of the times I’d surprise Uncle Aaron with a visit. My heart aches a little as I think of Aunt Haley, but I push the thoughts from my mind. This is my first day and I need everything to be perfect.

“Y/N,” he smiles warmly as I peek my head into his office. I hadn’t seen Aaron since I left for college, I was too busy working on my degrees. We still called once a week, and that is why it didn’t feel forced or awkward to slide into conversation with him after 8 years.

“Well, everyone is at the table because we have a new case, I can introduce you there.” He leads me out of his office and into a small room filled with only a round table and a screen where the team waits. Their presence makes me nervous. They have all this experience with their job and probably only remember me as Aaron’s little niece if they remember me at all.

“Team, we have a new intern, Y/N Y/L/N. She’s my niece on Haley’s side.” He clears his throat after mentioning her and I can tell he isn’t as over it as everyone would assume. “This is Derek Morgan, Kate Calahan, Jennifer Jereau, David Rossi, and Spencer Reid. And our Tech Analyst Penelope Garcia.”

“Save the pleasantries, Aaron. She knows me,” David says as he gets up to hug me. The smell of his cologne fills my lungs, but not in an overbearing way. He cups my face in his hands. “You’re all grown up; it’s hard to believe.”

“I don’t think I believe it yet either,” I laugh as I sit down and he goes back to his seat.

“I hate to interrupt the joy, but we need to get to Wisconsin, also known as the lovely badger state, home of milk and cheese,” Penelope says. She goes into explaining the case and how the bodies of 3 women had been discovered as late as this morning. I tense my body to keep from shivering at the sight of their photos.

That might be the part that always gets to me, seeing the photos of the victims happy and smiling. I can’t imagine their faces once they realized what was going to happen to them. I watch as they discuss the case, their energy, and ideas building off each other. It happens so smoothly and effortlessly like they aren’t talking about murders. But to them this is normal, maybe they’re a little desensitized to it.

“Whether he knows the victims or not, he’s hit his stride and he’s not gonna take time to cool off. Wheels up in 30,” Aaron says, distracting me from my thoughts. I grab the “go bag” I left in my uncle’s office which is better described as a suitcase on the edge of exploding. It was my first trip and I didn’t know how long we’d stay so I panic-packed what was probably too much clothing. As I leave the office I bump into something hard. I look up and see Derek.

“Oh my- I’m so sorry. I didn’t even look and-” He holds up a hand to stop my rambling.

“It’s fine, it takes more than a suitcase to knock me down,” he says with a smile. I let out a relieved sigh and he continued talking.

“Rossi says you’re fresh out of college. What degrees do you have?”

“I have a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Masters in Criminal Justice.”

“And you’re how old?”

“26, I just took a lot of summer classes,” I shrug.

“Sounds a little like Reid,” he laughs. “Real smart guy, been here since he was 24. He graduated high school at 12.” I feel my jaw open and quickly try to close it.

“That’s um- wow.”

“Insane, I know. Let me help you get to the jet.”

“Yeah, thanks. I was going to ask my uncle where to go.”

“So is having Hotch as an uncle the same as having him as a boss?”

“Mm, I’d say yeah. He’s pretty reserved, but once you’ve known him long enough you can read him like a book. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s more like he’s too busy thinking to remember to talk to you.”

“Sounds about right,” he chuckles. “Set your bag here and just through that door is the jet.”

“Oh, thanks again for showing me.”

“No problem, Y/N.” He walked onto the plane. It felt strange hearing him call me by my first name when everyone else was referred to by their last name. But maybe I was reading too much into it. It was my first day and we couldn’t have made a bond as he had with everyone else in the 5-minute walk to the jet. I took a deep breath to calm my thoughts and walked through the door.

Already they were discussing the case again. Hearing them bounce ideas off each other and analyze was almost comforting if you forgot they were talking about a murderer. Their dynamic was so in tune like they all held the same vibration. Part of me didn’t want to speak and mess up the flow of the conversation.

“Alright Dave and Reid, go to the Medical Examiner with Em. Morgan and Kate go to the newest crime scene. JJ and I will interview friends and family at the station,” Aaron announced. My fingertips began to tingle with anticipation. This is happening! A part of me was excited to be here. I’d always admired my uncle when I was younger for putting away the bad guys and here I was beside him. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I tried desperately to calm down. It was my first case and I was determined not to mess this up. I didn’t want Aaron thinking I couldn’t handle this and sending me home, so I was determined to keep a calm demeanor.

<<< >>>

“Cartilage around the windpipe was damaged, but the COD was actually a crushed trachea,” the examiner says as he leads us to the victims’ bodies.

“I’m surprised Emma didn’t go into cardiac arrest before then,” Spencer says, looking back at me and David. I nod in agreement because I don’t have anything to counter with. I question why Aaron even sent me with them to the M.E. when I don’t have enough experience to be much help here.

“Nobody has sex for 6 straight hours, not even sting,” David says, pulling my attention back to the report. That’s where it should be. “Maybe he’s interacting with them beforehand.”

“Nonetheless, it’s an endurance test. He’d have to be in pretty great physical shape,” Spencer says. I try to form my own ideas as they talk, to just bring something to the table and not feel like I’m useless and watching from the sidelines.

“Well, do you think strangulation is just the dispatching method, then?” David asks.

“Erotic asphyxiation,” I call from behind them. They both turn to look at me and I feel my heart move up my throat. “I mean, the bruising from repeated strangling and releasing is similar to that.”

“If that’s the case, isn't the pleasure usually all for the recipient?”

“Maybe not for him,” Spencer answers. “Cutting off his victim’s air supply might be how he satisfies his own urges.”

I sigh, I might have just contributed something. I don't want them to think I can’t do anything to help. My eyes wander to the other victims. She has the same bruising as the other victim except her hair is blonde, Donna Rayburn. She almost looks like me, but her eyes are blue, not the dark brown I got from my dad. Noticing all our similarities makes me itch and I feel exposed. I jump when a hand touches my back.

“Hey, we’re heading back to discuss everything with the team,” David says. “Are you alright?”

I can feel Spencer’s eyes burning into me from behind, he’s not very good at acting like he isn’t listening to our conversation. I can’t help but wonder if he thinks I’m even qualified to be here; his intelligence is a little intimidating. He could probably profile circles around me.

“I’m fine, just nervous. First day jitters,” I smile in what I hope is a convincing way. David leads me to the car and I sit in the back on the way to the station. Looking out the window keeps me distracted and I let my mind wander. I wonder how the people who live here feel about the news. Everyone says “It could never happen here”, but somehow it always does.

“Six hours is a long time, especially late at night, for someone to be held and no one to hear anything,” Aaron says as David, Spencer and I make it to the table. Again they delved into a conversation trying to connect the victims. So far, the only thing they had in common was their interactions with the unsub. After what seemed like hours of discussion, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and got up to find coffee.

I found my way to a small kitchen with two coffee pots in it. I grabbed a guest mug and poured in the steaming liquid, leaving enough room for the cream and sugar packets on the counter. A voice behind me makes me jump.

“Did you know Hawaii is the only state in the U.S. that grows coffee?” I turn and find Spencer standing there with his thermos in his hands.

“Um no?”

“Yeah, the ideal coffee growing conditions require high altitudes, rich soil, and tropical climates.”

“Do you start every conversation off with facts?” I ask with a laugh.

“Mostly,” he smiles. “Oh, and I wouldn’t drink that coffee if I were you. Hotch just said we’re heading back to the hotel and regrouping in the morning.”

I checked the time on my phone, 11:33 PM. No wonder I was so tired, with the jet ride and busy day we had. The ride to the hotel felt like it lasted a few minutes, so I must have dozed off in the car. Aaron handed me the key to my room which I shared with JJ. I barely had time to shower before I fell asleep in the white sheets of the bed.

<<< >>>

I couldn’t believe the unsub killed again last night. I knew he would kill again, but it didn’t feel right that I hadn’t noticed. How did we all fall asleep so easily when the murderer we were trying to find had claimed a new victim? And here I was walking around Lynn Boyd’s house as everyone scurried around for evidence. I find my way into her bedroom.

“The bindings, the silk scarf, the rough sex. He’s using ‘Bare Reflections’ to choose his victims,” Rossi says. Finally, another step forward. Last night we concluded the unsub would be a married man, but it didn’t give us much to go off of. A call to Garcia would help us understand more.

‘If this book is mainstream, then his victim pool is large.”

“Garica, did any of the other victims besides Lynn own a copy?” JJ asks.

“Mary Healy had it on her tablet. Donna Rayburn checked it out from the library twice. Emma and Lynn both purchased copies locally.”

Although the book tied our victims together, who even knew how many other married women in the comfort zone owned the book as well. The list of possible targets would be too long to help us tie it back to the unsub.

“And- hey, a lot of the saucy texts are direct quotes from the book,” Garcia says. “Oh! Speaking of texts, I culled them from that he met Mary via message board, Donna at a coffee shop, Emma at the gym, and Lynn, he met Lynn using a fake profile on a discreet dating website for married people.”

“Thanks, Garcia,” Rossi said, ending the call.

“Profile?” JJ asked. He nodded in response. The ride back to the station passed in a blink. Maybe it was the satisfaction I was feeling. My fingertips tingled because we were so close to finally catching this guy.

“Based on area demographics, we believe that we’re looking for a physically fit white male in his mid-30s to early 40s,” Aaron starts.

“He’s a homicidal dominant with an interest in role-play,” Callahan continues. They build off each other so smoothly, and the rest of the team keeps it going.

“We believe his charisma has allowed him to latch onto women who are interested in a popular erotic romance novel called ‘Bare Reflections’.”

“In it, a sheltered female teacher falls for a handsome mogul with a dark past who forces her into a submissive role.”

“Despite her initial worries, Amber Stone finds she can’t live without Carson Bare, warts and all.”

“We believe the unsub and his victims are consensually recreating a scenario from this book.”

“In that scene, Carson introduces Amber to BDSM by binding her to a bed as they have rough sex.”

“The unsub uses this role play to get his victims into a vulnerable position before his fantasy takes hold.”

”This has provided the unsub with a victim pool who have dropped their guard.”

“His first victims were single, but his last two were married. This escalation indicates that he may be married himself and probably has a family.”

“This unsubs M.O. takes patience and caution, and is firmly rooted in a need-based desire, which means he won’t be stopping anytime soon. Thank you.” Aaron says, ending the profile presentation. I look back at the crime scene photos trying to piece together the puzzle. I notice Reid quickly skimming through the pages of “Bare Reflections”.

“Are you even reading it?” I ask.

“I can read 20,000 words per minute, so yes.” He doesn't even have to look up when he responds.

“Robot,” I say under my breath as I roll my eyes, but from his smirk, I can tell he heard me.

“There’s not a single mention of erotic asphyxiation anywhere,” he says as Rossi and a detective approach us.

“It’s the unsub’s fetish then.” Rossi’s brows furrow.

“He’s a charmer that knows that some people lose themselves in the moment and others stop at nothing to please their partners,” my thoughts come out loud as I walk towards them. “Somehow he makes his victims feel safe enough to abandon their hard limit.”

“What’s a hard limit?” the detective asks.

“It’s a common BDSM practice. Hard limits are anything that’s an automatic no-go. It differs by person and taste,” Rossi states.

“And a soft limit is an in which a submissive hesitates or places strict conditions on,” Reid pipes up.

“I had no idea that world had so many regulations. Where does he find somebody like-minded?”

“In “Bare Reflections”, Carson Bare takes Amber to an event called a munch.”

“Which is?”

“According to the book, it’s a social gathering for people interested in BDSM.”

“Where the heck do you find that?”

“We should call Garcia.” Reid nods at Rossi.

“I found one,” he says, showing his simple google search. While Rossi and Callahan go to the munch, the rest of us stay behind to go over the case files.

<<< >>>

“He knew crossing state lines would make it more difficult to link the crimes,” Aaron says about the three prostitute murders Garcia has just brought up.

“That’s a very different cooling-off period. I wonder what was so special about those dates,” Detective Pierce questions. Reid grabs an expo marker and turns to the nearest board.

“First kills were in 2000, 2007, and then he went dormant until last year. What triggers him?” He writes all the dates on the board.

“Deaths in the family,” Aaron asks.

“He could keep losing jobs?”

“These are sex crimes so what interferes with sex drive? Children,” Callahan offers. “The addition of a child would disrupt even the happiest of couples.”

“More specifically the births,” Reid nods and you can see the gears in his head turning. “What if each of these kills corresponds to the births of the unsub’s own children?”

“Garcia, how many men in the hunting zone had a child in 2000?”

“16 and because I already know what the follow-up question is going to be, 5 had their second child 8 years ago, and two had their third last year.”

“Were either one of them busted for something like peeping or exposure?” I ask.

“Yes and no, there's a Patrick Jon Murphy. He’s a physical therapist, here’s the thing he was never actually arrested. I do have some sealed family court docs, though, that I’m about to unseal and learn … Oh, when he was 12, he witnessed his neighbor strangle his wife to death in a sex game gone bad.”

“Even though he was only a witness, that moment created a single event imprint on his love map and probably started his interest in breath play.”

“Is his wife interested in BDSM?”

“Uh, no, doesn’t look like it. The Murphy’s have been in and out of couple’s therapy for years.”

“The therapy roller coaster may have been due to intermittent periods of frustration then bliss surrounding the murders.”

“And his urges increase during periods of non-intimacy.”

“If the unsub’s trigger was the birth of his kids, why change the victimology and accelerate the kills now?” I ask.

“I think the guilt he’s felt has been alleviated by ‘Bare Reflections’, and the intense female interest in it has justified his impulses,” Reid answers. Our phones beep as Garcia sends us his address and we race out the door. His house isn’t even that far from the station, it’s crazy that he’s been under our noses the whole time. JJ and Reid come out of the house looking defeated.

“He’s at the nanny’s house, we’ve gotta move!” We don't even have time to buckle up before we're barreling down the road. When we arrive at the house I can see a girl standing at the front door.

"You two take the front of the house, I'm going around back," Morgan declares. I can see him run after the unsub on foot as Callahan grabs the girl inside the house. That must be his daughter. The rest of us storm inside, clearing each room as we make our way through the house. Calls from upstairs lead us into the bedroom where we find a woman tied to her bed. Immediately we untie her as a medic comes in to check her out.

<<< >>>

“So, how was your first case?” Aaron asks as he sits across from me on the jet.

“Um, intense,” I nod and he laughs. “But I really enjoyed helping solve it.”

“I knew you had it in you.” He squeezes my hand. “Want some coffee?”

“No thanks, I’m gonna try to sleep before we land.” I curl into my chair and try to let the tension release from my body as I fall asleep.

#spencer x you #spencer reid #criminal minds #derek morgan #david rossi #kate callahan #jennifer jereau #aaron hotch hotchner #penelope garcia #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader

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gilmores-glorious-blog · 4 years

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think of all the fun i´ve missed (think of all the fellas that i haven’t kissed)

merry (early) christmas @leifdonnellies! i was your secret santa and i had a lot of fun writing this fic for you :D i hope you enjoy it and have a great holiday season! (the title is from santa baby and really doesn’t fit with the fic all that well but i thought it was funny...)

Tobin Batra knew every word in the English dictionary, and yet he still didn’t know the right words to describe the chaos that was SPRQ Point holiday parties.

After going to one for this first time, Tobin immediately knew why STEM kids and queer kids were never the people throwing parties in high school. When you combined those groups into the group that was the fourth floor of SPRQ Point, the result was a drunken mess of a gathering.

The floor was cleared off as it would be for any business-related gala, but instead of tasteful lighting and tech speeches, there were tacky Christmas lights strung up and shitty music blasting from every speaker.

And yet, Tobin loved them. He loved his oddball group of friends and colleagues, and it was fun to hang out with them without any pressure of deadlines and CEO visits, and instead just a week-long break to look forward to. At recent parties, Zoey’s DJ friend Mo provided the music, and he did have objectively better music taste than anyone else there. Tobin liked Mo, and liked getting to chat with him at parties, mostly about music and queer stuff. Another plus of parties was seeing who gave the most outrageous white elephant gifts- Tobin was currently winning that competition ever since he gifted Max a live chinchilla a year ago. (Max still had the chinchilla. He named it Joan after their former boss, and it was beloved by everyone.) Yet another great thing about it was that it was the one night that they finally could replace the bread bar or oatmeal bar or whatever bar with an open bar, because apparently it was legal if it was for a party. But Tobin’s favorite thing about the holiday parties was the fact that it was the one night a year that his boyfriend let Tobin kiss him in front of their colleagues.

Leif was surprisingly shy about PDA, and had been as long as Tobin had known him. His parents weren’t exactly the most touchy-feely people, with each other or with their children, and it had clearly rubbed off on Leif. Tobin was fine with this, of course, he’d never want to make his boyfriend uncomfortable. Plus the two lived together, and Leif was incredibly touch starved at home, so it wasn’t really a big deal that they never did more than very occasionally hold hands at work. That being said, Tobin discovered recently that Leif found it “morally wrong”- Leif’s words, not Tobin’s- to disobey the laws of mistletoe, and he planned to fully exploit that fact at the party.

Mistletoe was a big thing at these parties- because obviously it was, what chaotic Christmas party was complete without a tiny, slightly-poisonous plant that required you to kiss whoever’s nearest to you if you found yourself under it? When they arrived at the party, Tobin snatched a cluster of mistletoe that was hanging right outside the elevators. He figured that was a fair place to steal it from, because as much as he loved the tradition, it was a bit of a cruel place to hang it, catching people off guard like that. Leif glanced over and saw him grab it, but just rolled his eyes as Tobin winked at him and smirked.

“Hey guys!” Zoey greeted as they joined the group. “You can put your gifts over there…” She pointed to a small pile before glancing at the package in Tobin’s arms with concern. “I do not want to know what’s in there this year.”

Tobin smiled wide. “Well, I tried hard to top Joan the chinchilla, but I think it was my peak.”

Leif and Zoey rolled their eyes in unison as Leif gave Tobin a shove towards the stack of gifts.

Tobin soon joined the rest of the party, dragging Leif with him and forcing him to dance to the loud music with him. As per usual, Mo had created a killer playlist, albeit a bit of a weird conglomeration of songs. Any playlist that went from a stunning, slow cover of Someday At Christmas (that seemed to have been sung by the DJ himself) immediately into the original version of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer had to be made by someone at least a little bit high.

About an hour into the party, Tobin could tell that Leif was getting overwhelmed by all the people and the sounds, so he silently took his hand and pulled him into the nest.

“Thanks,” Leif said once they were out of earshot of others. He rubbed his neck awkwardly as he sat down on the conference table. “Sorry, I don’t know what was happening back there, I’ve been better with social stuff for a while, I guess it just… I dunno… it’s still hard sometimes.”

“Bro, it’s okay, I get it. You never need to apologize about anxiety stuff. And it’s not going to be all better, all the time, and that’s okay. You’ve been doing so good lately, Leif, and you deserve to celebrate that.” Tobin sat next to Leif and put his hand over Leif’s.

Leif turned to him and smiled softly. “Thank you, babe.”

Tobin lay his head on Leif’s shoulder and began rubbing gentle circles on Leif’s hand with his thumb. “You’re welcome.”

Neither man spoke for a few minutes, and Tobin could hear Leif doing some deep breathing, something he often did as a way to calm his anxiety.

Eventually, when Leif seemed to have fully relaxed, he turned towards Tobin and smiled at him again. “Have I mentioned that you look really nice tonight?”

Tobin laughed. “A few times. But you can tell me again.”

“Well you do. Really nice.”

Leif leaned forward and kissed Tobin, and Tobin counted it a win that his boyfriend kissed him at work with no mistletoe involved.

Tobin pulled away much sooner than he wanted to, because they were still at a party after all. “Hey, you ready to go back?”

Leif squeezed his hand before standing up. “Yeah. I think so.”

The two of them left the conference room, and only got a few strange looks from the other party-goers as they made their way back to the group.

“There you are!” Zoey said as she and Simon made their way over. “We were waiting for you to start gifts.”

The next half-hour was spent in a flurry of white elephant chaos, filled with plenty of cursing and sighing and coming close to tears begging someone to please steal their gift because they don’t even play an instrument, why do they need sheet music for the wii theme?! Although none of the gifts came close to the glory of Tobin’s chinchilla, it was unanimously decided that Leif won this year’s most outrageous gift with the collection of small cowboy hats that Simon ended up with (something Simon was weirdly pleased with receiving.) Tobin had pouted about this decision, seeing as the hats had originally been his idea, but his boyfriend looked so pleased about winning such a stupid contest that Tobin let him take the win without too much complaining.

It was getting late, and the party would likely be wearing to a close soon. People were still dancing, however- Leif being one of them. He and Zoey and Simon were in the middle of the floor, moving in a way that they must have considered “dancing” (but was really just a weird movement of limbs all over the place).

The red and green lights were reflecting in Leif’s hair, making the blond curls glow in a way that could only be described as magical. His suit jacket had been abandoned at some point in the evening, so he was wearing only a deep red short sleeve dress shirt with a green vest over it. Despite the cliche color scheme, the outfit looked great on Leif. Tobin watched as Leif threw his head back in laughter at something Simon said, and felt a weird flutter in his heart at the sight. Even after nearly two years of dating Leif, and nearly twelve years of being in love with him, the other man never failed to make Tobin feel like he was fifteen again, looking over at the boy playing video games on the couch next to him, and being hit with a rush of feelings so sudden and so strong that Tobin thought he was dying.

Tobin moved suddenly from where he’d been standing next to George, asking his friend to hold his drink for a moment. He joined Leif on the dance floor right as Santa Baby faded out (the dance moves done for that song did not bear repeating, to say the least), and faintly processed Mo announcing that their final song of the night was White Christmas because it had just started snowing in San Francisco, so of course it was.

“Hey.” Tobin announced his presence as he sidled up next to Leif, swaying slightly to the melody.

“Hi!” Leif turned around so quickly that he needed to steady himself by grabbing on to Tobin’s waist (nothing Tobin was complaining about), his face flushed from dancing.

“Care to dance?” Tobin put his arms up and around Leif’s shoulders, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Zoey and Simon had begun to slow dance away from them, seemingly lost in each other.

Leif just smiled in response and began leading Tobin slowly around the floor. Neither one of them were particularly great at dancing, but it didn’t matter. As Tobin heard the song drawing to a close, he fumbled in his jacket pocket for the mistletoe he had grabbed earlier. Upon finding it, he raised his arm above both him and Leif’s heads so that the mistletoe hung above them.

“Hey L.” Tobin said to get his boyfriend’s attention, because he’d somehow not noticed the commotion.

“Yeah?”

“Look up.” Tobin smirked.

Leif did so and immediately rolled his eyes and blushed.

“Well?” Tobin knew he was being obnoxious but didn’t care. “I seem to recall someone here saying that it was wrong to not follow the rules of mistletoe. Are you really gonna go back on your word now-”

Leif shut Tobin up by kissing him.

Tobin smiled into the kiss, moving his non-mistletoe hand to cradle Leif’s face. People were probably staring at them, but he didn’t care. It’s not like no one knew they were together.

Leif pulled back after a minute, slapping the mistletoe with indignance until Tobin lowered his arm. Their faces were still close, foreheads resting together.

“Merry Christmas Tobes.”

Tobin gave Leif another quick kiss and smiled at him. “Merry Christmas Leif.”

#also i'm pretty sure every fic i've seen so far as had a theme of mistletoe and mine is no different so uh.. i hope you enjoy that trope #zepsanta2020 #zep #zoey's extraordinary playlist #zep secret santa #zep fic #zep fanfiction #zoey's extraordinary playlist fic #coder boyfriends #coder bfs #coder boyfriends fic #leif donnelly #tobin batra #leif x tobin #leif donnelly x tobin batra #eli.writes

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revasnaslan · 4 years

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I'll be honest about Annilis, I love him and his sympathetic background AS well as his awful approach to keeping Hec-tor safe, because he's probably in some legitimate danger but he took it too far. I love HP, but I also wanna beat his ass too. Just grab him by the ears and yell, "What are you doing you idiot sandwich?!" I just wanna ask him "Are you even happy? And no getting pegged by a Shade isn't happiness." Don't want him to die though, only because it's a cop-out for actual punishment.1/2

2/2 That's what kinda bummed me on HP in-show, he did so much horrible shit, was an arrogant living "God", and he was just killed? That easy? HP's hubris was grotesque and he deserved a worse punishment than just a lightshow to the face. HP was also a non character in the end and whatever characterization he did have was lost quickly, gonna admit. But, an arrogant jerk dying that quickly is too easy a punishment, he has to suffer the consequences of his actions and experience his loss in detail.

sorry I'm sending you so many asks about HP. But dear God did the show drop the ball on Horde "supposedly endgame villain who was woefully underutilized until the last minute and even then was handed the villain ball to make sure what credibility he did have was lost" Prime. Could have been great, his story was there, but Crew-ra wasted time on frivolous characters(star siblings might have been cool but s5 needed to work on its existing characters, not introduce new ones)and wasted plot points.

I actually have done a ton of analysis on why prime just doesn’t work as a villain for pretty much six months now. Like I started doing this pretty much the day that the finale dropped cause I never liked S5 at all. There’s just much wrong with it, strictly from a narrative prospective than I cannot get over it, which I why I’ve kind of retreated into doing Fuck Canon aus. And I don’t think the major problems plaguing prime is that he’s a bad person or a cult leader or whatever, that would be fine. This is a matter of set up and pay off. This is a matter of narrative structure. Those are my major problems with everything about this.

Anyway, I guess we’ll try a flaccid attempt at positivity, just to make it clear that I am not coming strictly from a point of view of hate… the one thing I remember liking about prime is that creepy dinner scene. Loved that scene, I was so giddy when they dropped it as a teaser clip, and I got to enjoy it in peace for like a day and a half before my love for the show went crumbling. Prime is absolutely on his game in that scene, I can very clearly see his mind working, because my interpretation of the scene is that he’s trying to bait glimmer into giving him information. Did he actually intend to harm adora? Who knows! Does it matter? Not really, considering he got the information he wanted, which was what was needed to work the heart. I can feel the tension in that scene, that is how he should have been for the rest of the season.

So what the fuck happened? *cracks knuckles* well let’s see shall we.

Foreshadowing It’s Fun Cause It’s A Thing I’ve Heard Of

So I think we all remember just how shocking it was when prime actually showed up, and he wasn’t anything like we’d all come to assume he’d be based on what had been said about him up until that point. What we had been fed was essentially that he was cold, calculating, and didn’t look upon “defects” well. He saw the clones as disposable. And they set up that aspect of his character just fine, and I don’t have a problem with how that was set up.

What they utterly failed to properly set up (and even contradicted themselves on) was the cult thing, and how prime is essentially this messiah figure to the clones. I highly suspect this occurred because they were writing the show as they went along, and hadn’t fully fleshed out prime’s whole deal until he actually appeared at the end of S4, but that’s just my own speculation given some of the things that had been said in interviews regarding other aspects of the writing (namely that micah was apparently not supposed to be alive in the first place and that happened because of a miscommunication between noelle and one of the other writers).

Regardless, there are a number of things that should probably have been done differently in order to properly foreshadow prime’s cult leader status, that actually would have heightened hordak’s characterization as well. For one thing, there’s a reason we all assumed that the galactic horde was merely a military program and it’s because of how hordak acts throughout the first four seasons. We can talk in circles about headcanons until we’re blue in the face (i.e., he might have memory problems), but the fact of the matter is that those are headcanons and that hordak’s entire narrative changes from one of an ableist family to one of a religious trauma seemingly on a dime come the very end of S4 when prime shows up.

imagine how satisfying the foreshadowing would have been if hordak had actually been spouting dogma the entire show (i.e., “cast out the shadows” and “all beings must suffer to become pure”) only for it peter off once he’s befriended entrapta, if he had been calling those who he respected brother/sister instead of force captains (which is a far more militarized word to use, and judging by the galactic horde isn’t even a term they use), if he had still been dressed in his uniform and only actually started dressing differently after entrapta had helped him? Hell, he never even so much as implies that entrapta is leading him astray before he’s back with prime, he doesn’t even seem particularly distressed about being around her most of the time, and the only reason he even gets persnickety with her is because of his medical condition.

One point I’m going to expand on for a moment is the whole “brother” thing, because that is actually a very good way of explaining what I mean. Now, hordak doesn’t actually mention any other clones at all from what I remember. This is contrary to all of the clones in S5 referring to each other as “brother” pretty openly and it being seen as a term of respect. However, the only person that hordak actually calls “brother” up until S5 is prime, and this inadvertently ended up making the word seem far more neutral than it should have been considering the context of S5. The word “brother” is actually a control tool, and if they had wanted to establish that sooner, hordak should have been calling anybody he respected that.

So, either the writers hadn’t actually thought of that part of the narrative yet, or they’re just that bad at foreshadowing.

There are also three instances of the narrative contradicting itself with regards to prime, one in S3, one in S4, and one in S5. The first is that hordak wanted to make a new body for himself. While one could argue that this was meant to be foreshadowing that prime takes new bodies whenever his old one failed (which is fine, that works as foreshadowing), the act of hordak admitting that he was intending to do that is what actually creates the snag. With the context of S5, we learn that becoming a vessel is meant to be a place of honor, but this comes with the caveat that it seems like only prime is allowed to take new bodies. So why the ever living fuck would someone as “pious” and “unworthy” as hordak think that was something he could ever be allowed to do, much less that prime would welcome him back with open arms if he did it. But there’s zero hesitation on hordak’s part, he doesn’t even mention that this is something usually only reserved for prime.

The second is that prime literally looked at the heart of etheria and said it was “unlike anything [he had] ever seen” despite canonically fighting the first ones, so he’d presumably have recognized the energy signature that first one’s tech gives off and be like Oh Shit. This one in particular drives me absolutely nuts because if I was writing a villain who had lived long enough to fight the people this mystical weapon was created by I would never write them saying that what the actual fuck. My gripe here is not that prime is ancient, that’s fine, I could’ve vibed with that. But the fact that he not only fought the first ones but also recognized mara is really egregious in a way that borders on parody for me. Like what a flimsy excuse for him to be connected to adora (and we’ll get to that!)

The third and final one is that hordak was allegedly thrown out for his defects. That’s what we were told, that’s what a major facet of hordak’s trauma is centered around. However, at the same times, prime seems like… oddly fixated on hordak in a way that usually implies something deeper is going on here. That was why I was so convinced that hordak wasn’t remembering something clearly, because why would prime spare him instead of killing him immediately after returning if he was defective enough to warrant being thrown out? Come S5, prime seems to have forgotten about the pesky little plot detail that is hordak’s defects, since they never come up again! Nope! Hordak is not only completely healed of his ailments (which Can I Get A Yikes?) but he’s also been welcomed back to his original position as prime’s right hand by the mid-point of the season, and he stays there until the finale unless the plot demands he be elsewhere to interact with entrapta cause hordak was added in post. You can’t even argue that he was keeping hordak alive because eThErIaN kNoWlEdGe because he has those fucking mind chips. Literally every single person he’s chipped is connected to the hivemind because of that. He’d have every single bit of knowledge that he could possibly want right there at his fingertips. He doesn’t need hordak alive at all.

Which brings us to…

It’s Almost Like He Wasn’t A Villain To The Proper People

The thing about villains is that, in order for them to not feel out of place, in order for their defeat to actually give a true feeling of satisfaction, you kind of have to put them up against the right people. The reason that prime ultimately fails in this respect is that he is not adora and catra’s villain, despite the narrative pushing him as that…

I actually once joked on twitter that if the rise of skywalker had come out when S5 was being written, then prime would have likely ended up being revealed as adora’s long lost grandfather in some attempt to make his fixation on her seem warranted. That’s the level we’re at in terms of how connected the two of them appear to be for the villain and hero thing. They just are not connected, and prime has absolutely no reason to be this fixated on her. They tried to explain it with she ra and prime being old enemies, but that’s equally as confusing because a) mara hadn’t mentioned him up until that point, b) this inclusion actually makes the first ones creating a superweapon look justified since prime is such a huge threat, and c) she ra is explicitly stated to have been on etheria long before the first ones even colonized it, so why the fuck is she just gallivanting around the cosmos fighting cult leaders?

And to be clear, if this whole prime versus she ra had actually been hinted at, I would not be taking so much issue with this. But as there was absolutely zero mention of him, it just comes off as egregious and very, very sloppy on their parts.

Prime also should not be as fixated on catra as he is, that doesn’t make sense at all. I know why this happened in particular, though, and it’s because the writing team was so in love with her that they just had to give her this arc. That just makes its inclusion all the worse to be honest. Why does he go to such great lengths to use catra to torture adora, why does he go into a total breakdown after catra escapes? He isn’t connected to either of them…

… because he is hordak and entrapta’s villain.

that prime didn’t immediately want entrapta dead continues to confuse me to this day, nearly seven months after the fact. Like you mean to tell me that this cult leader, who is presumably used to complete obedience from his followers, finds one of the wayward members of his proverbial flock lost on some backwater, who didn’t want to be found, and he knows exactly who is responsible for sewing those seeds of discord in this poor lamb’s head. And he doesn’t immediately want entrapta dead?

Not only does prime never mention her, despite it being very easy to push a plotline about how it’s necessary because she’s perceived as a danger to the rest, and especially to the poor lost soul who was ultimately returned to him. Instead, prime just doesn’t seem to realize entrapta exists. He doesn’t know who she is despite literally reading hordak’s mind. He doesn’t even seem to interpret her as threat considering he wasn’t worried about putting her and hordak right next to each other in the finale. He should have been using hordak to torture entrapta, and he should have had his break because hordak escaped him. That whole scene where catra is under mind control and adora was trying to snap her out of it was textbook entrapdak. Hordak should have been the one to delve into the hivemind to help adora. It was his story and it was taken from him when he was sacrificed on catra’s narrative arc altar.

And this is ultimately completely fixable. Because they had a villain they could have been using for adora and catra the whole time. Shadow Weaver. Y’know, their mutual abuser who was the main cause of strife between the two of them, and the person who kind of set the plot in motion since she’s the reason catra is the way that she is?

He Blew It. Super Hard. Complete Buffoonery.

Ultimately one of the biggest writing fumbles with prime is that he is just really fucking dumb as the plot demands, and it doesn’t make any kind of narrative sense for him to be that way, it is literally just him being at the mercy of the writers who need him to do something stupid so they can push the plot forward since they made him too overpowered for it to happen any other way.

There’s numerous instances of this across the season, including him bringing entrapta aboard the velvet glove when the very person he would have had very good reason to not let her near is standing right there, and him deciding to give catra pretty much free reign of the velvet glove and seeming to decide to trust her despite him knowing damn well that she’s likely to betray him the second he does something she doesn’t like, and the time he literally left adora to be beaten by catra instead of just killing her outright when she couldn’t even activate she ra. And in all these cases he had the fucking nerve to seem surprised when it happened?

However, there is one plot point that I feel illustrates how goddamn stupid he is to move the plot forward, and it’s the mind chips.

I mean one of the reasons I dislike it is going back to how little foreshadowing the writers actually seem capable of committing to. There is nothing to indicate in the narrative that prime actually employs mind control on anybody besides the clones, and this becomes especially egregious when we later meet the star siblings, and we find out that there are large swathes of the universe that are seemingly not chipped? It just screams like they needed some type of angst plot point for catra, so they had to find a way to make it work.

But the very inclusion of the mind chips as a plot point makes prime look so ridiculously dumb, because we are told those chips connect people to the hivemind, we are explicitly shown this for catra angst. So a) why does he need hordak around at all, because the excuse he needs to know about etheria doesn’t work since he literally chips like half of the etherian population later on anyway, b) if he needed information on the heart of etheria, why didn’t he just chip glimmer outright, it would have saved him a lot of time and hassle, and c) if he knew damn well that catra had betrayed hordak numerous times and was likely to do the same to him, why didn’t he just immediately chip her so he could mitigate two problems. If he had chipped catra immediately, he wouldn’t have lost glimmer, and it would have been next to impossible for adora and bow to storm the velvet glove through the means that they did.

When your main villain is that fucking stupid, the tension is completely sapped out of your narrative, and prime doesn’t have enough character unto himself to continue holding up his own arc. He is a sexy lamp cardboard cutout that just happens to be brought onto the scene when they were in need of someone to throw the idiot ball at. Prime is supposed to be this thousand year old body hopper who has the wisdom of the ages, and yet he was defeat by a group of teenagers driving a clown card held together by nothing but duct tape and prayers.

Anyway!

Guess Who Just Got Murdered!

Anon, I completely agree that the way prime got taken out was just… hm. Well, it was a choice, given how they had written the rest of the season.

I’ve said this before, but I really wish I could actually enjoy hordak yeeting him, but I just don’t feel anything. That scene is a culmination of an arc that never happened because hordak was barely on screen for S5. It feels like we’re missing this whole season-long arc about how hordak managed to break free of prime and was actively working against him, and that scene is the lowest point, right before the greater scope villain is ultimately defeated by the protagonist. Which just furthers my point that prime is really hordak’s villain, because hordak reads more like a protagonist than I think the writers actually intended for him to.

Since you mentioned anillis, I feel the need to comment on him as well, because I do know exactly what happens to him at the end of my au, because I actually planned for his ending from the beginning and built his arc towards that point. The very bare bones spoilers is that he isn’t going to die, because a) he needs to live with the consequences of his actions and b) him dying would affect hec-tor horribly, especially since if anybody had to deal the killing blow it would be hec-tor. And hec-tor doesn’t deserve to be forced to do that. He wants freedom, he doesn’t want his brother dead by his own hand.

So, I completely agree that just killing prime off feels a little… like a cop out? I’m not going to get into a discussion of how he was defeated by the power of (romantic) love because my issue there is not with the trope itself, but ultimately how it was handled, and that also has to do more with my grievances with how catradora was ultimately handled than my grievances with prime. However, him being like… exorcised…

Well it sure does clean up some loose ends that we don’t want to discuss huh?

#rev's rambling again #i ain't putting this in any tags #i really don't want to get into fights with people about this #but anyway here's 3000 words on why prime sucks from a narrative perspective #i've been bottling up these feelings for seven months #i deserve the chance to go feral #as a treat #Anonymous

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plaidbooks · 4 years

Text

Everyone Deserves Love chapter 1

A/N: It’s finally here! I really wanted to finish this series before I started posting (mostly because I was afraid I wouldn’t finish it). This is my first time writing for an OC, and for SVU! I promise not every chapter will be this long; I was just trying to establish the character.

The first three chapters are prequels. This chapter takes place during season 5.

Next Chapter

Tags: child prostitution mention, sex trafficking mention, minor character death, child death, guns, blood, normal SVU stuff.

Words: 10k+

Devon Motely got out of bed and stretched, yawning loudly. She walked over to her window and threw the curtains open, letting the sun stream in. She glanced at the clock, 7:05am. She shook her head; it was later than she was used to, but not really; time zones still made sleep times awkward. The dawn was just peaking over the city buildings. New York, Devon thought, a thrill running through her. She had just moved across the country from California at her boss’s suggestion, transferring in the same department, but a new place; a welcome change from the monotony that was Devon’s life. It was fine by her; she was kind of done with California: the heat, the drama, the constant worry of her childhood coming back to haunt her. New York was a fresh start, a new adventure. Though, as someone who worked in the FBI, an adventure wasn’t always a good thing. But she wouldn’t think about that, instead focusing on the positives. For example, her best friend and fellow special agent, Emma, was reassigned with her. Plus, her old psychiatrist-turned-friend was reassigned to New York years ago, and she was hoping to catch up with him.

Devon was nearing thirty and had been an FBI agent, working with the Hostage Rescue Team, since she was 18—a whole decade ago! Most of the time, she hardly believed it had been that long. Other times, it felt like it had been so much longer; working HRT meant she had to do and look at things that would make others sick. They made her sick, too, but she could deal with it; she had to, it was her job. Sometimes while working undercover, however, she had moments of weakness, moments when she couldn’t commit to her illicit cover story, and she had to isolate herself to get back in the mindset. Only once did she ever have her cover blown; she grimaced when checking out “product”—little girls—and she couldn’t recover. She lost a couple girls that day, and she learned to always put on the correct face after that, no matter what she said or saw. Devon was damn good at her job, though, and she almost never lost another life since. Almost.

1 year later

Cubicle of Devon Motely

Thursday, October 25th. 12:37am

Devon sighed heavily; she was in the office—a rare occurrence indeed—flipping through pictures and unconsciously clenching her teeth in disgust and anger, slowly giving herself a headache. The Assistant Director, and subsequently her boss, Thomas Jenkins, had personally given her this task. It was a delicate procedure, one that he needed to make sure made it into the right hands. For that, only one name came up, and that was Devon’s. Devon scrolled through the pictures looking, searching for anything that could be useful—a tattoo, a building, a street sign. Anything. Hell, she’d take a moldy food wrapper at this rate; her search has pulled up dead-end after dead-end, and she was getting frustrated. She knew, though, how to relax and refocus her efforts; getting frustrated helped no one, especially not the poor children that were caught in the middle of this chaos. That being said, flipping through hundreds of kiddie porn images wasn’t the way she wanted to spend her day.

About two weeks ago, another field agent had been able to shine some light on a huge human trafficking ring, one that the FBI had been trying to break into for months. Devon hadn’t really been on the case, besides maybe looking through some facts or pictures in her fleeting free time, but she was now called in. Thomas mostly wanted her to stay caught up on the details because he wanted to send Devon in, hence why she was now stuck at her desk in the middle of the night, obsessively looking for some clue as to the location of where the kids may be. The other field agent, the one that first broke into the ring, was shockingly able to take one of the pimps alive, and even more shockingly, they were able to break through the encryption on the bastard’s laptop. All that he really had on there, however, were private messages with anonymous johns and pimps, something that the FBI’s best computer techs were trying to crack the identities of, and then some very, very disturbing pictures and videos.

Devon had mentally prepared herself for a couple hours before going to work on watching the videos; she figured that they were probably the worst things there, so she’d deal with them first. Sadly, she was correct; the things that she saw in those videos—mostly violent kiddie porn—made her skin crawl and still haunted her at night. It had been about a week since Devon started this “project,” and she had either gone to or talked to a psychiatrist almost every day afterwards. The pictures were…better isn’t the correct word, but they were less intense than the videos...for the most part. Devon kept a notepad and pen by her as she flipped through file after file. She came upon a particularly horrible picture and turned her screen off for a moment, feeling nauseous. She stood up quickly and took a couple steps from her desk, rubbing her temples, trying to get the image out of her mind with no luck. She needed a moment to recollect herself before she did something she regretted—going into their secure facility to beat that pimp to a bloody pulp would help no one. Though, it may make her feel better.

She sighed, taking a sip from her long-cold coffee. She picked up her notepad, going over the few—mostly useless, she knew—clues that she could pick up from the files she had already gone through. One kid in a video—a young boy, no older than 10--begged the man to not touch him, calling him by name, Evan. She wrote down the video timestamp; you can see half of Evan’s face for the briefest of moments. That’s been the most helpful thing she had found, though. Everything else she had scribbled down was just a description of the various rooms in the videos and pictures, or one of the children’s names, or the brand of…items used—anything that may be helpful in tracking down where these children could be. There was a grand total of 4 different rooms; she labeled one as “Evan’s room” and had scrawled down a basic description, but no other names of the pedophiles came up.

Tossing the notepad back onto the desk, Devon took a deep breath before sitting back down. She steeled herself, trying to force herself to feel nothing at all. It was good that she still felt repulsed, she told herself. Once she really did feel nothing, then it would be time to quit…and find a better therapist. Barely containing her groan of discomfort, she turned her computer screen back on, and analyzed the grotesque picture that appeared, looking for something, anything, that could help this child and all the others.

It took her two more days, and thousands of images that she’d need the strongest alcohol in existence to erase from her mind, until she found something concrete. There was a picture of the same bed that Devon had seen a hundred times now, the bed that she had labeled under “Evan’s room.” But Devon ignored the…scene that the picture was attempting to focus on. Instead, she focused her attention on what looked like a receipt—one that someone would get after they signed for something, a carbon copy of the signature on the bottom—that was on a clipboard on a dresser on the other side of the bed. It looked like the signature said “Evan Thompson” or “Evan Frampton,” but it was hard to tell. She needed another set of eyes, a fresher set that aren’t bloodshot from looking at a screen for days. She called Jenkins on his direct line and waited for him to come over to her desk to inform him about her discovery, see if he could make it out.

“I was starting to give up on you,” Jenkins joked as he appeared in the office doorway.

Devon gave a tired smile. “Trust me, I’ve been wanting to give up on this since the first image.” Jenkins came up behind her, looking over her shoulder at the image on the screen. Devon had saved him from seeing the whole image, having it punched in on just the receipt. “What does that signature say to you?”

Jenkins leaned over her shoulder, putting his face almost against the screen. “Evan Thompson?”

“That’s what it looks like to me, too. Think the techs can clean it up?”

Jenkins leaned back, nodding. Devon turned to face him, cautiously hopeful. “I think it’s worth a shot. Good work Motely,” he replied, giving her a pat on her shoulder.

Grateful for the praise, and for the possible lead, she copied the file into a message and sent it to the techs. It took them only an hour, in which Jenkins had retreated back to his office and Devon had been engrossed in more pictures, before they sent back the picture, clearer than before. The receipt now clearly read “Evan Thompson.” She could even see a total amount above it now. With how much it came to, she was pretty sure that she knew what he had purchased; more children.

With a name now confirmed, Devon opened the Bureau’s database, typing in Evan’s name. Thousands of matches pinged in seconds. She narrowed the field down; in New York—the apprehended pimp accidently mentioned that detail--still alive, not incarcerated. Down to a couple hundred. She then pulled up the half-of-a-face picture she had saved and added in a couple things in her search; white, aged 35-50, 160-190lbs. Only a handful of addresses this time. She wrote down all of them, then got up to go to Jenkins’ office, give him the good news. She needed a team of—she looked down at the number of addresses—at least 16 people, if they were to go at all of these Evans at once and in pairs, as per protocol. They were all over the state, but in clusters. The furthest an Evan was from another was 5 miles. Perfect.

The FBI had been desperate to catch this trafficking ring; they had people at their disposal. Getting the field agents to interview the suspects would be the easy part; the hard part was assembling teams to go back them up. Devon wanted to be coordinated in this takedown. If the real perp was to catch wind of the FBI coming down on Evan Thompsons, then he’d be in the wind instantly. They had to be ready to take all eight down at the same time, just in case. They couldn’t let this guy get away. Because of their close proximity, they were also able to place teams in between the suspect’s locations, saving them some manpower. Devon conveyed as much to Jenkins, who agreed; now they just had to pull every agent they could back to base, go through the briefing and saving those children.

FBI Headquarters

Monday, October 28th. 8:05am

Everyone crowded in the briefing room, standing with their partners or teams, watching Jenkins intently. Jenkins went through the whole operation with everyone, 80 agents in all—16 field agents and 64 SWAT members. Every single person wanted these kids in safe hands; they all wanted to take these bastards down, and they hung on every word Jenkins said. Assignments given, the agents started to prepare. Devon vaguely noticed the field agents that were assigned to interview the suspects pair off and get their equipment.

“We better get this guy,” she heard one agent mumble to another. Devon pulled on her bulletproof vest, strapping it tight. She strapped on her glock and put her badge on over her head—she had it on a chain necklace for this. Then she grabbed the rifle issued to every SWAT member. She wasn’t normally SWAT, and the metal weapon felt heavy and unfamiliar in her hands. True, she had learned to use it in training, but it was rare that she used it at all. She couldn’t wait for this mission to be over, to be back in the field, alone, with no liabilities. It was easier that way.

“Hey Dev, don’t sweat. We’ll get those kids out safely,” a familiar voice said. She turned to see Emma next to her, red hair pulled back into a low ponytail, helmet already secured on her head. Devon didn’t have many friends, inside or outside of the FBI, but Emma had always been nice to her, always had her back when Devon had to play nice with others instead of going undercover by herself. While Devon counted Emma as her best friend, they didn’t see much of each other outside of work, only a stray text here or there.

“God, I hope so,” Devon replied. She didn’t want to imagine the scene that may be awaiting them. She had done this hundreds of times, but it never got any easier; her brain liked to imagine the worst possible scenario. It didn’t help that she had seen that scene in person. Every time she geared up for a siege like this, the dead bodies flashed in her mind. She shuttered.

“We will. I know we will,” Emma said with such conviction, how could it end any differently? Devon simply nodded back, putting on her helmet. Once fully geared up, Devon, Emma, and the rest of their team—6 other men--made their way to their SWAT van. Devon felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach on the drive to their outpost spot. She tried to calm her nerves; there was only a 1 in 8 chance that she would even see any action today. But she knew her luck. And she knew how much Fate liked to fuck with her. So, she counted the minutes ticking by while her team idly chatted about nothing; getting drinks later, the Knicks game the previous night, the wife and kids wanting to go on vacation with their father for once. Devon had nothing to contribute—she hardly did anything outside of work—so she just listened, replying only when prompted.

Devon’s phone rang, causing her to jump and the others in the van to go silent, looking towards her. Devon quickly silenced it, looking at the caller ID. She never got phone calls outside of spam or telemarketers; she had completely forgotten to turn it off before this. She was shocked when she saw a name appear; Dr. Huang. Fighting the urge to answer it, Devon let it go to voicemail. Dr. Huang only ever called in case of emergencies, opting to communicate through text. But there was no time to answer as the van’s engine sprang to life, Jenkins informing them through their earpieces that the Evan they were sitting on was their guy. Devon shot a quick text to the psychiatrist—emergency, call you later—before putting her phone away. She fought down the thoughts that had sprung up, wondering why the doctor had called her; she had more important things to worry about. The knot in her stomach had returned and every bump in the road made it feel like she was going to be sick. The van drove for a couple more minutes before cutting the engine. Everyone in the back of the van readied themselves. They laid out a basic plan on the short drive over—Jenkins had told them it was a warehouse. A team of four people were going through the front and the other 4 were going through the back. Devon and Emma would be in the latter group. They had done this a handful of times before; all the team knew each other, trusted each other. Devon gripped her rifle, stifling any lingering nerves. She switched her thoughts off, ready to rely on instinct and training. The van doors were thrown open, and Devon and her team charged out and into the beyond.

Warehouse of Evan Thompson

Monday, October 28th. 12:47pm

Devon and her team stormed the place as quickly and quietly as possible. They found the backdoors quickly, unguarded. One of the men pulled out a crowbar, shoved it into the crease between the doors, and ripped it open. It was loud, and they moved in slowly, listening for any sign of life. Hearing nothing, they started clearing little office rooms before they made it to the big, empty space. Well, empty besides a couple of abandoned cement guardrails, like something that littered parking lots, and a huge chain-link cage. Devon had taken the lead, had been the first to peer around into the expansive place. The cage had caught her attention immediately, not because of its size, but because of its contents. What seemed like at least 30 children, all between what looked like 8- and 12-years-old. Devon felt the nausea come back but shoved it down. She could feel sick later. She motioned for the team to follow her as she led them slowly towards the cage, keeping an eye out for danger.

“What the fuck?” a male’s voice called out from across the warehouse. Devon whipped around to the source of the sound, seeing 4 heavily armed men coming out of a small room. Then, pandemonium. The traffickers open fired, forcing them to take cover behind the cement guardrails, firing back. Devon looked over to the cage; it was far enough out of the line of fire that none of them were injured, though the children were all on the ground now, hands covering their heads and ears. But how long would it take until the traffickers decided to cut their losses?

“Cover me,” Devon said, mentally preparing herself for the short run to the cage—it was at least 10 yards. She felt the familiar churning in her stomach when having to make this tough decision; she knew it was highly unlikely that all the children would survive, but it was better than leaving them stuck like fish in a barrel. Wasn’t it?

Emma saw what she was planning and shook her head. “You’ll be killed before you make it halfway.” A bullet pinged off the cement by their heads, as if to emphasize this point.

“That’s why I said cover me.” Without waiting for a response, she poked her gun out from behind the low wall she was crouched behind, rapid firing in the direction of the traffickers. Their gunfire quieted as they took cover from the barrage, allowing the FBI agents to peek their heads out, taking better aim and giving her the cover she had requested. Devon took her chance and sprinted to the cage, firing at the traffickers as she went. A couple of stray bullets got close to her, but none hit their target. The kids noticed the agent running towards them and scrambled to their feet. They came rushing to the door, reaching for Devon through the chain link wall, voices overlapping, panicking as they begged, pleaded for help.

“Stand back!” she yelled over the ruckus. It wasn’t until she took aim at the lock that the kids backed up. She pulled the trigger, bullet destroying the padlock. Devon turned her back on the cage, firing wildly at the traffickers while the children ripped the door open.

“Run, run! Go go go!” she ordered, raising her voice over the gunfire. She could barely hear the children fleeing across the warehouse towards the waiting agents. Devon chanced a glance to the side, trying to make sure they were making it. She felt a pang in her heart when she saw Emma positioned halfway between the cage and the other agents. It was in that moment, that split-second glance, that Devon realized that she loved Emma.

The traffickers renewed their efforts, obviously pissed that their product was escaping. Bullets flew, but Devon held her ground until the last kid left the cage. Once the cage was empty, Devon started to retreat back to her previous cover. It was a perilous journey; there were a few bodies in the path—Devon glanced to find her footing, but otherwise tried to ignore the small, unmoving corpses and the sudden sadness and anger that they conjured. After what felt like hours, Devon made it back behind the low wall. As she was moving to crouch behind it, however, she was hit in the chest. It hit her vest, but that didn’t stop it from knocking the wind out of her, causing her to fall onto her back. It hurt like hell, and she knew she would have a wicked bruise, and hopefully that was it. She scrambled back to her knees, trying to get a baring on her surroundings again. One of her teammates was covering the escape route from their cover to the hallway leading to the exit; a much closer trek than the cage was. The other agent that stayed behind was giving them cover fire from the hallway. Devon joined in; having no more distractions besides the pain in her chest, she was able to take precise aim, shooting two of the traffickers, their bodies falling like a sack of bricks. The firefight seemed to go on forever, but eventually, the warehouse fell silent. Keeping their guns at the ready, the agents came out from behind the wall, making their way towards where the traffickers had been in cover. Six dead bodies; two more must have joined the original four. Right at that moment, the other half of the team came in from the front, calling out the all clear. Devon let out a heavy sigh, lowering her weapon.

“Thanks for the cover, Emma,” she said, turning to find the spunky redhead. But she wasn’t with Devon’s team. She unstrapped her vest, checking the area that she was shot. It hurt and was already bruised, a bump forming, but no broken skin, and from the feeling, no broken bones. “Emma?” she called out after a couple moments of silence.

“You didn’t see?” one of her teammates asked. Devon felt a stone drop into the pit in her stomach. She shook her head and the man raised his hand slowly, pointing. Devon hesitantly followed his finger and felt the ground drop out from under her. The children who were hit were laid out in almost a line from cage to cover, an indicator of their flight. And among them was a redhead, complete with SWAT vest.

No, Devon thought. A pain completely unrelated to her injury punched her in the heart. She hurried over, knelt down, and turned her friend over, hoping against hope that she was just grazed, that she was still alive. Emma’s eyes were flat, grey, staring at nothing. A bullet hole was almost perfectly in the middle of her forehead, blood already drying. Devon dropped her as if burned, falling backwards onto her ass. She started hyperventilating, bile rising in her throat. She had to get out of the warehouse, get some fresh air. There was a roaring in her ears, her heart beating frantically. Out of nowhere, a faint whimpering broke through the blood rushing in her head. Devon whipped her head in the direction of the sound. There—a small form was crying, breathing hard. Devon scrambled over to the child, anything to get away from her dead friend, and found a little girl. She was clutching her stomach, blood seeping through her grasp.

“I need medical attention!” Devon yelled, ripping the shirt off a not-so-fortunate body, and using the fabric to try and staunch the bleeding. She held the shirt firmly, but not too hard; pushing too hard on a stomach wound could damage the internal organs. Devon stayed like that with the poor girl until paramedics came. A different set of medics checked Devon’s injury. They tried to convince her to go to the hospital, to make sure nothing was damaged internally, but Devon declined. She was quiet the whole trip back to the FBI HQ, mind completely blank.

FBI Headquarters

Monday, October 28th. 2:26pm

Devon moved on autopilot, making her way to her locker, ignoring the congratulations or condolences sent her way. She opened the locker and started taking off her gear, her hands like machines. She unstrapped the helmet from under her chin, lifting the piece of equipment and placing it on an empty shelf. She then gently took off her vest, wincing in pain, the events from the past hour still fresh in her mind, flashing before her eyes, as if she were still in that warehouse. Devon closed her locker door forcefully, hands still feeling sticky from all the blood, even though she had scrubbed them clean. In all, 7 children laid dead in the warehouse. The little girl, Patsy, was the only one who was found to still be alive in the pile. She was still in surgery, and Devon had asked for updates; she needed one win to come out of all this. The other 25 children survived, and the FBI were now attempting to track down their family members, if they had any. Now out of her SWAT gear, Devon made her way to Jenkins’ office. She was running on autopilot, Emma’s dead stare branded in her mind’s eye. She really rather just go home, drink until she couldn’t see straight. But she had to be debriefed, and she knew Jenkins would force her in to see the Bureau’s shrink before she was allowed to leave—if she didn’t tell Jenkins that she was shot, then he wouldn’t force her to the hospital.

The debriefing took upwards of an hour, and Jenkins gave her a shot of strong scotch—not Devon’s drink of choice, but she was used to it from past hard cases and highly grateful for the burning liquid, warming her cold, empty shell of a body. As she had predicted, Jenkins all but ordered her to go to the shrink before she left for the day. And to take some time off—she had enough vacation days saved up—and to continue seeing a shrink at least once a week. Devon hid her pain as best she could, but she knew Jenkins saw her little winces. Jenkins, to his credit, ignored it; he knew that she’d make sure she was alright, but he also knew that she needed some time. It wasn’t until Devon was sitting in the waiting room of the company shrink that she remembered that she had a call from a different FBI psychiatrist earlier, before everything went to shit. She pulled out her phone and redialed Dr. Huang’s number.

“Hey George. What’s happened?” she asked when he answered.

“I need a favor, and it’s very time sensitive.”

SVU Department

Monday, October 28th. 4:30pm

Devon stepped through the doors of NYPD’s 16th precinct after blowing off her appointment with the shrink, claiming she was meeting up with Dr. Huang. The psychiatrist had giving her a hard look, but agree that Huang could counsel her, too. Devon looked around curiously; she had never been in this particular precinct before and had to ask for directions from the deskman, who directed her to the elevator. The elevator dinged and the doors opened to the Special Victims Unit. Officers and detectives were wandering about, doing paperwork, or otherwise working. Devon felt eyes trailing behind her as she made her way through the precinct. She tried to shove that down, along with all her other emotions; there was a time and place for that eventual breakdown, and this wasn’t it. Work was work, and this seemed important as well as stressful, as her work normally was. NYPD already felt like walking on enemy ground, no matter how much people wanted to claim about them being “brothers in arms.”

“May I help you?” a woman asked, breaking through Devon’s thoughts. She was in street clothes—a detective, then—with short cropped hair. She had bags under her eyes, slumped shoulders; she was obviously running on overtime, probably hasn’t slept in a day or two.

“I’m looking for Dr. Huang,” Devon replied. She felt a fresh wave of pain as she subconsciously puffed out her chest. She didn’t try to engage in posturing, but this woman already was giving her a hard glare.

The woman nodded. “Ah, you must be his FBI friend—” Devon didn’t miss the…resentment? Venom? in her voice—“he’s in the Captain’s office.”

“Thanks,” Devon said, pushing past the detective. She was used to NYPD disliking her; the Bureau had no friends. But she rarely had someone using that kind of tone so boldly to her face; it was usually coy smiles, sugar-coated threats, and other politics designed to make them seem like friends to the untrained ear. She may not like the detective, but she respected her bluntness. Devon ignored all the other eyes that she could feel on her as she made her way to the only office in the place. She knocked on the open door, sticking her head in. Before she could say anything, Dr. Huang stood up from his seat, gesturing her in.

“Devon, it’s nice to see you again,” he said, giving her a hug. He released her quickly, giving her a concerned look when he felt Devon tense up, hissing in pain. She subtlety shook her head, promising to explain later.

“Same to you, George.” Devon had met the doctor years ago in California as a patient; they’ve been good friends ever since, even after Huang was reassigned to New York. As much as Devon liked him, though, she had a hard time reading him; it made her slightly uneasy, but not enough to stop being friends with him. They’ve worked on cases together in the past. Huang was a profiler as well as a psychiatrist; he made most of Devon’s aliases when she went undercover in her early years, would spend hours working with her until she became that person.

Dr. Huang gestured to the man, presumably the Captain, sitting behind the desk. “This is Captain Cragen,” he introduced. “Cragen, this is Special Agent Devon Motely.” They shook hands.

“I assume Huang told you why you’re here?” Cragen asked by way of meeting.

Devon let out a breath. “No, actually. Only that it was an emergency.”

Dr. Huang gave her a weird look but said nothing. Devon knew the look, though; she had said something wrong, something weird. She knew he’d ask about it later, when they had more privacy. She wasn’t looking forward to that talk.

Cragen looked between the two before answering, “well, we have a missing kid. Kidnapped 16 hours ago. Believed to be taken by a gang member in retaliation. It’s a…delicate situation, one that I felt the need to call Huang in on. Though, he has convinced me that you specialize in this kind of work, that you could get this kid out with no casualties.”

The familiar knot formed in Devon’s stomach; the dead children from earlier, Emma’s dead face flashed in her mind. She took a sharp breath, trying to ground herself in now. She needed to focus; there was another child in danger, another child that needed her help.

“Do you know where the perp is, where he took the kid?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady, professional.

“No, but I have every available officer on it; we’re closing in on them.”

Devon nodded. “Tell me about the perp.” All business, nothing else. Emotions didn’t belong here.

Cragen led the two FBI agents to where they had a screen and whiteboard, all filled with information on this case. The woman detective from earlier was there, as well as two others; one was a tall white man with glasses and grey hair, the other was a black man, slightly taller than Devon. Another detective was at his desk, on the phone and typing on his computer. Cragen introduced the man as Elliot Stabler, the woman as Olivia Benson, the tall man as John Munch, and the black man as Fin. Devon nodded to them each in turn, but got mostly the cold shoulder or a hard stare in return. As Cragen filled her in, she tried to memorize every detail she could, no matter how small. The perp’s name was Jose Gonzalez, the kid was Eddy Suarez. Eddy’s father was in the same gang as Jose; from what SVU understood, the father had slighted Jose in some way, so Jose took his kid as payback. He was considered armed and dangerous.

“Captain, I may have something,” Stabler called out, slamming his phone on its receiver. His desk was against Benson’s desk—partners, then. The group hurried over to look at his screen. “Got the car and license plate crossing the bridge into Staten Island.”

“Let’s move,” Cragen said, spurring the detectives into action. Devon followed; Huang would stay behind, waiting for the interrogation, to where his skills would be needed.

“We need to talk,” he murmured to Devon as she hurried by him. She simply nodded, then followed the Captain out of the precinct.

540 East Marigold Lane

Monday, October 28th. 5:28pm

They pulled up a couple houses down from where Jose had barricaded himself with the child. ESU was still arriving, scrambling to get into place. It was a normal, suburban house, one story, complete with white picket fence; ESU didn’t need long to surround the place, evacuating the houses nearby. Devon wanted to get in there before they were ready; the most important part was getting the 7-year-old Eddy out, alive and unharmed, not something ESU was trained for. She got out of the car, bulletproof vest on and ready, trying to ignore the pain in her chest and her heart, but failing miserably. The nerves that she normally got in these situations were absent; she was still reeling from the warehouse earlier. She kept glancing around, trying to find Emma, then remembering and grimacing. It was like she couldn’t control her emotions, her mind. Devon was afraid that she’d feel this anytime she put the vest on again.

“You alright there, Agent?” Stabler asked, coming to stand next to her. She nodded absently, not really pay attention to the man. Devon’s mind was far away, her nerves fried. She felt like she was about to scream, cry, explode, all of the above. She shook herself, shoved all of her thoughts and feelings down; all that mattered now was that little boy being held hostage. She conjured up the picture she saw in the precinct; a little boy, laughing, being held by his dad who was also laughing. She focused on that boy, focused on the fact that he was in the house in front of her, scared to death. She took a deep breath, then made her way around the house, away from the NYPD officers. She vaguely heard someone call out to her, asking where she was going, but she ignored them. There was a backdoor in the backyard that had a huge window next to it, blinds open, giving her a clear look inside.

She could see a large living room with couches and a TV mounted on the wall. There was a coffee table and a couple of bookshelves full of a variety of books. Otherwise, the room seemed empty. Looking through it, Devon could see an empty kitchen and a hallway. No sign of the man or child. She tried the doorknob and was stunned that it was unlocked. Why had no one else come back here? she thought. Fearing it was a trap, she unholstered her gun, the familiar steel in her hand. She twisted the knob, opened the door slowly. She stepped back, aiming her glock for anyone who may jump out at her. Nothing. Confused, she slowly went through the open door, checking both ways as if someone could be hiding there against the wall, waiting to kill her. Empty. The house itself seemed empty, but then why was ESU and the NYPD stationed outside? Might as well clear the building, make sure that they were just overreacting rather than blaming them right away for botching the location.

Devon crept through the rooms, listening for any sound, but hearing nothing. She then made her way to the hallway; there were only two doors lining the walls, with a master bedroom at the end. She took one step into the hallway, and her mind flashed. She blinked, and she was back in the warehouse, hard concrete under her boots, Emma’s breath loud in her ears. Devon’s breath caught in her throat as she whipped around. But no one was there; it was an empty living room in a quaint house in a suburb. Trying to calm her racing heart, Devon turned back to the hallway; all the doors were open, almost confirming that there was no one here with her. The first room was an empty child’s bedroom, nothing in it disturbed. The second room was a small bathroom, also empty of human presence.

“Get out of here,” a man’s voice called from the master bedroom, making Devon jump, heart racing painfully against her chest. She heard a soft, metallic sound and looked down, trying to find the source. She was surprised to find that it was coming from her; the hand holding her glock was shaking, hard enough for it to be making noise. Calm down, she told herself. She glared at her own hand until the shaking stopped. Devon took a deep breath, then made it to the doorframe, pressed up against it. She tried to peek in, to see the situation she was about to be in.

“Let the boy go. We can talk about this,” Devon replied, gripping her gun tighter if only to keep in control. She could just barely see the man holding the child, gun to the latter’s head. Eddy let out a choked sob. Another flash in Devon’s mind and she saw Patsy lying in a pool of her own blood. She pulled back, breathing hard. Quit it! she yelled at herself, her own mind.

Jose’s voice wavered slightly as he said, “this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

It took a moment for Jose’s words to make their way into Devon’s mind. “Then stop it from continuing. All you need to do is let the kid go, and we can all walk out of here unharmed.”

She could almost hear him shaking his head. “Naw, that’s not gonna happen. If I let this kid go, you’ll just shoot me. I don’t wanna die, man.”

Emma’s face flashed across her mind. She didn’t want to die, either, Devon almost spat out, but she held her tongue. What was happening to her? It had been a long day, and she needed to get out of there. “I’m going to put my gun down, okay? I’ll be unarmed, and I’m coming into the room.” True to her word, she put the safety on her gun, then gave it a little toss into the room, not close enough for Jose to reach it, but definitely out of Devon’s reach. A little show of trust, so that hopefully he will trust her, even a little bit. She then put her hands up, reaching them around the doorframe before coming in herself. “I don’t want anyone here to get hurt, Jose, I promise. Why don’t you tell me how this happened?” Keep him talking, help him see that there was no winning here, that he’d have to do as she asked.

Jose used the hand holding the gun to rub his shaved head. He was panicking, but Devon was hoping to calm him down, even if she couldn’t keep her own mind calm. “Alonso fucked up for the last time”—Devon recognized the child’s father’s name— “and the boss wanted to make him pay, ya know? So, he had me pick up his kid, but then he wanted me to kill him and I just, I can’t kill a kid, man. But if I don’t, boss will kill me.”

Devon felt a pang of pity for the man; he was in a lose-lose situation. But her fraying nerves and overall exhaustion was making it hard to think straight, making it hard to play the nice cop. “Jose, you’re not leaving this house alive unless you surrender yourself. But, no listen to me, if you give yourself up, you’re only going to jail. You hurt that kid, though? You’re done, you’re in the ground, I guarantee it.” She spat out the last part, a little more violently than she meant to. Normally, she’d use a threat like that just to get a suspect to comply. But right now, she was afraid…afraid that she wasn’t using an empty threat. Afraid that she may actually kill this man if she didn’t end this soon. She had never felt like this before.

Jose let out a pained whine. “I don’t wanna die,” he mumbled. He tightened his grip on Eddy, who was starting to cry louder, as if he understood that the more distressed Jose became, the least likely he was to survive.

Devon took another deep breath, trying to shove all of her personal feelings down, trying to bring that professional side back out. The field agent that she always was. “I won’t let you die, Jose. Trust me, I can get you out of here, but you have to put the gun down. You said it yourself, you don’t want to kill this child. What would that even accomplish? Eddy has done nothing wrong. Think about how terrified he must be, how cruel it would be to end his life before he got to do anything that he’s dreamed of.” Devon glanced at the cross Jose was wearing around his neck. “Do you really believe that God would forgive you for ending this child’s chance at life?” If personalizing Eddy didn’t get through to him, religion probably would.

Jose sniffled, the hand holding the gun starting to shake. “You—you can get me out of here? Alive?”

Devon nodded. “Of course, but you have to put the gun down, let Eddy go. I give you my word.” During this whole exchange, Devon had been making her way slowly through the room, around the bed towards Jose. Jose looked like he was thinking through all of his options, breathing harder and harder. After what felt like forever, he released Eddy, who ran to Devon, wrapping his arms around her legs. She jumped as if shocked by the touch, but played it off, trying not to scare the child. Jose then slowly handed his gun to Devon. She put it in the waistband of her pants at the small of her back.

“I’m so sorry,” Jose said through tears. He turned around, head down, defeated. He put his hands on the back of his head and waited. Devon took her handcuffs out of her back pocket and awkwardly made her way to Jose, Eddy hanging off of her.

“Don’t let me die,” Jose whispered, more to himself than to Devon. Once he was secured, Devon let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. All of her nerves were on fire, as if the slightest touch would set her off. It was taking everything in her to not react to Eddy hanging off of her. As she led the two out of the room, she swooped down to grab her gun, replacing it in her holster. Eddy stayed by her side, never releasing her leg. She was glad he was safe, that she could provide some safety to him, but it was starting to annoy her more and more. He’s a scared child. You just saved his life. Suck it up, she thought to herself. She thought back to Patsy, still in surgery. If Devon had patience for her, she’d have patience for Eddy, too.

“Let me go first,” Devon said, stopping them when they had reached the front door. She pushed Jose gently against the wall by the doorframe, so that none of the awaiting officers could get a clear shot on him. She moved the child behind her legs, effectively becoming a human shield. It’s not that she really distrusted ESU or the NYPD as a whole, but all it took was one overzealous cop to have a twitchy finger, to let this all go to hell.

“Coming out! Suspect is unarmed and apprehended! Don’t shoot!” she yelled out the closed door. Slowly, she unlocked the door, then turned the knob, inching the door open. From the outside, she knew that ESU would only see her standing there, a child behind her. From her point of view, Devon saw guns from every direction aiming at them.

She put her free hand up in surrender, the other hand holding Jose by the cuffs. “Hold your fire!” she called out. She waited until she heard whoever was in charge repeat her order before she moved Jose through the doorframe and out into the open. Eddy took Devon’s free hand when she had lowered it, gripping her tightly. She couldn’t even imagine how terrified this kid must be having this many guns pointed in his direction. She led them out slowly, struggling not to flinch as officers came hurrying up. They all but ripped Jose out from her grip, reading him his rights, and throwing him in the back of a squad car. Devon gave him a sympathetic look as the car pulled away. At least he didn’t die, she thought. More officers came up to take the boy, but Devon refused to release him as Eddy gripped her hand tighter, turning to hide his face against her legs. All of the anger and frustration that had been welling up inside of her finally had a target.

“Back the fuck off,” she said, venom dripping from her voice. The officers scrambled to get out of her way as she led him over to the awaiting paramedics in the ambulance. She waited by his side as he was checked out for injuries. She looked over and saw the SVU detectives, Cragen in their center, looking over to her, something like respect and astonishment in their eyes. She knew Cragen would want to debrief her, but at this point, she was emotionally exhausted—she had spent all day in this damned vest. So, she stayed with Eddy, giving him silent support while he was poked and prodded, asked questions. It eventually came up that they wanted to take him to the hospital, run more tests to make sure he was physically okay.

“Don’t let them take me,” Eddy cried, grabbing Devon’s hand like a lifeline.

“It’s okay, Eddy. I’ll ride with you,” she replied softly. She climbed into the ambulance before the medics could say anything. If they didn’t want her there, they made no mention of it as they loaded up. The whole way to the hospital, Devon whispered encouragement to Eddy—“everything’s fine, you’re safe, you did so good back there”—until he calmed down. Devon stayed with him until the nurses kicked her out, much to his dismay.

“I’ll be right outside. I promise, I won’t leave you until your parents get here,” Devon said as she was shooed out. She went to the waiting room and was shocked to see two detectives—Stabler and Benson—already there.

“That was good work today,” Stabler commented quietly. Benson nodded in acknowledgement. “Even if you did go a little rogue going in the house.” Benson rolled her eyes at that.

“I’m just glad there were no casualties,” Devon replied before slumping into a chair. She felt so drained, so tired. And yet, today wasn’t quite over; she wanted to be there for the interrogation, to let them know about Jose’s impossible situation. To maybe give him some sort of mercy, and maybe some protection from his boss. This day just got longer and longer. Plus, she should probably get her injury checked, too. She rubbed at it absentmindedly, trying to relieve some of the pain.

Benson sat down next to her. “How’s Eddy?”

“He’s fine…relatively. He’s going to need some counseling. But physically, I think he’s unharmed.”

Benson nodded. “Detective Olivia Benson, by the way. Detective Elliot Stabler,” she said, gesturing to the man. Devon was glad that the animosity from earlier seemed to have disappeared. Rescuing a child had that effect on people.

“Special Agent Devon Motely,” she replied, giving them both a small smile. “Any word on Eddy’s parents?”

“They’re divorced; mother is going for full custody, and after today, I’m sure she’ll get it,” Stabler explained. “She’s on her way now.”

Devon nodded, but was too tired to answer. Hopefully, the mother can better protect her son from her ex’s illicit life. She’d make sure she gave them her business card, let them call her if they were ever in trouble again. Even if Devon was busy, she had connections all over the city.

It took about 20 minutes of the three officers sitting in silence—the detectives seemed to know how tired Devon must be, mumbling to themselves every no and again--before the mom showed up. Devon and the detectives had been barred from seeing Eddy until a parent or guardian gave the okay, but they were informed that the child was indeed unharmed, just shaken up by the ordeal. The mother was shown to his room, and the nurse asked for Devon to follow her about 5 minutes later.

“Not you two,” the nurse said to Benson and Stabler. Stabler looked like he was going to start a fight, but Benson waved him down. Devon followed the nurse to Eddy’s room, his mom standing next to him, grasping his hand in both of hers.

“You’re the one who saved my boy?” the woman asked. Devon nodded and the mother came over, flinging her arms around Devon’s neck and pulling her into a tight hug. Devon grimaced as fresh pain coursed through her, but she did her best to stay quiet, keep her pain undetected by the civilians. She awkwardly patted the woman’s back as she cried, thanking the agent over and over again.

“I’m glad he’s alright. You got to watch him, though. Make sure he doesn’t get wrapped up in this again,” Devon replied after she extracted herself from the mother’s grip. She handed her card to the woman. “You call me, though, if anything does happen, okay?”

“Yes, yes of course,” the woman nodded fervently, taking the card from Devon. “We’re moving out of the city, though. Moving closer to my family in Connecticut.”

Devon felt a weight lift off her; getting Eddy out of New York was probably for the best. “Good, that’s good.”

Feeling like they needed time alone, Devon said her goodbyes to both Eddy and her mom—who never stopped thanking her—and backed out of the room. Both detectives were still in the waiting room, and Devon relayed the information to both of them.

“As long as she brings him back to testify, then it’s fine,” Stabler huffed.

“Do you really need a 7-year-old to testify?” Devon asked, incredulous. Devon hated the courts; such bad memories from her past there, plus the unneeded drama and politics that came with it. Besides, hadn’t Eddy suffered enough?

Stabler gave her a hard look. “If we want to get him on kidnapping, then we need the actual kid that was napped,” he explained in a slow tone, as if Devon was an idiot. This was why she liked her job. She only needed to catch the bastards; she didn’t have to go through the whole façade of lawyers, courts, and the politics involved.

“That’s your problem,” she shot back. She really wanted to just go home, have a nice, relaxing bath, and listen to some orchestra music. But she needed to go back to the precinct, listen in on interrogation. Like hell she’d ride with this asshole, though. She said nothing as she left the hospital, hailing a cab. She was sure that the detectives were staying behind to interview Eddy, anyways.

SVU Department

Monday, October 28th. 8:36pm

She made it back to the precinct quickly. Her mind had wandered on the drive over, and she was having trouble focusing. She vaguely realized she didn’t see a doctor about her gunshot wound while she was at the hospital, but she couldn’t force herself to care. She felt like she was floating through the precinct, weaving around the officers as she made her way to SVU’s floor. Her emotions were so frayed, she didn’t think she’d ever feel anything ever again. One of the officers pointed her towards an observation room, where she found Captain Cragen and Dr. Huang watching Fin and Munch grill Jose.

“Fin and Munch have been able to get the whole story out of Mr. Gonzalez, here. Not that it took much prompting,” Cragen said by way of greeting.

“From what he told me in that house, he was in an unwinnable situation. I do hope that you and your DA will take that into consideration when indicting him,” Devon replied flatly. She didn’t have the strength to put up a polite exterior anymore.

Cragen gave her a wondering look; he didn’t seem mad about her tone, just curious about her, about why an FBI agent, especially someone who works in HRT, would be on the perp’s side. “He kidnapped a 7-year-old and held him hostage at gunpoint. Do you really think we should go easy on him?” It didn’t seem like he was trying to defend this point, simply wondering how Devon would answer. As if he were in charge of the debate team in high school, seeing if she could defend her point.

“He was just following his boss’s orders, the promise of death if he failed. And even then, he didn’t kill Eddy. He made it clear how much he didn’t want to,” Devon explained.

“And what would have happened to Eddy if we didn’t find them? If you never talked to Jose?”

Devon didn’t have an answer for that. She’d like to think that he wouldn’t have shot a child, that he may have even killed himself instead. But she could also see the possibility of Jose doing it, because he could make sure Eddy didn’t suffer in death. It all came down to Jose’s fear of death versus his fear of God’s wrath. She resigned to watch in silence as Jose continued to tell the detectives—Fin and Munch—about the hierarchy of the gang, about his boss, about anything they asked about. She could feel Huang’s gaze on her, but she ignored him, trying to focus on Jose’s words.

All three looked to the door when a redheaded woman walked in. Devon felt a punch to the gut as she recalled Emma’s face for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. No matter how many times her empty eyes flashed across Devon’s mind, the nausea and emptiness hit her hard.

“This is ADA Casey Novak,” Cragen announced. “Novak, this is Special Agent Devon Motely.”

“I didn’t know this was a Federal case,” Casey said, giving Devon the familiar I-don’t-trust-the-FBI look.

“Off the clock,” Devon replied, giving her a small, exhausted smile. Maybe she could still have some pleasantries. Casey gave her another look, this time of disbelief—who the hell wanted to do this kind of work off the clock?--before focusing in on the interrogation. Cragen filled her in on the details, including the fact that Devon was the one who collared him, before Devon interjected.

“I’d like to request that you go a little easy on the man,” she said.

Casey gave her an appraising look. “He kidnapped a child, with a gun.” It was the same conversation over and over again. Devon was getting sick of it.

“Yes, but Jose had a gun to his own head. He was acting under duress. Plus, he’s giving you guys all the information on his boss that you need,” Devon reasoned.

Surprisingly, Casey agreed. “I’ll plead him out, then. Kidnapping is 5 to 25 years; I’ll recommend 7.”

“Thank you,” Devon said before excusing herself from the room. With her work effectively done, Devon just wanted to go lay down somewhere for a couple hours…or days. She heard someone follow her out of the observation room and sensed Dr. Huang’s presence.

“We do still need to talk, Devon,” he commented. Devon’s shoulders slumped and she hung her head in defeat as she followed him to an unoccupied room, full of standard-issued beds. Must be where officers could sleep when they couldn’t make it home. It seemed like a cruel joke to bring her here, with how tired she was, but at least it was private. Devon resisted the urge to sit on any of the mattresses; she was afraid she wouldn’t get back up again.

“What’s going on, Dev? Are you okay?” Huang asked once he shut the door.

“Don’t treat me like a patient, George. I know you know me better than that.”

Huang nodded, dropping the professional tone, and adopting something more personable. Yet still that overall calm that he exuded was present. “You’re right. Something did happen to you today, though. Do you want to talk about it?”

Devon huffed out an unamused laugh. “Not really, no. I would rather just down a bottle of whiskey and sleep for three days uninterrupted.” She knew by admitting that, Huang would just dig in further, at least until she got everything off her chest. But she was too exhausted to come up with some elaborate lie about how she was feeling, too exhausted to really care what anyone thought of her right now. She felt nothing, only the dull ache in her chest that pulsed in pain in time with her heart.

Huang looked concerned but hid it well. It only showed in his eyes. “You need to talk it out,” he said. When Devon didn’t reply, he continued, “first, you missed my call, texting me that you were in an emergency. And second, you told Cragen that I gave you no details. I told you the whole case over the phone.”

That stunned Devon; she thought back to the phone call that felt like days ago—how was it only earlier today?—tried to remember what was said. She didn’t remember a single word, though he must have at least old her to come to the 16th precinct, since she showed up here.

Sighing, Devon recounted the Thompson ring takedown. She was a little shocked that Huang didn’t get the notification—“I’m not a field agent, and I was already assigned here,” he explained. Devon got a little choked up when recounting the 7 dead children, and the 1 dead FBI agent, shocked that she even had emotions left.

“I don’t have many friends—you know that. So, losing Emma hurt more than I thought it would,” Devon finished. She refused to acknowledge the feelings that became apparent shortly before the agent’s death—that would be something to unpack later.

Huang had listened intently to her plight. He gave her a look of sadness as she recounted the dead; no matter how many times someone saw another person killed, it never got easier. “You saved 25 children from hell, though.”

“And lost 8 people in the process.”

Huang weighed his words, then responded, “but don’t the lives saved outweigh those lost?”

Devon’s phone went off right then. She recognized the hospital’s number and answered. She felt the dread build in her core, tears finally springing to her eyes as the final nail of the day was hammered into her. “Correction, 9 people. Patsy didn’t make it.” She let the tears flow freely now; it was the first time she had cried that day, but all of the sadness, anger, and guilt from earlier rushed out of her in a wave. She collapsed onto one of the beds hard, face buried in her hands as she let everything out. She vaguely felt Huang sit down next to her, patting her back in comfort, careful to touch lightly after hearing about her being shot. He let her cry until they became hiccupping sobs. Devon wiped her face with her shirt, trying to regain her composure. She tried to make it a point to not cry in front of people; she didn’t want to appear weak. The fact that Huang had been here to see her fall apart hurt her pride more than anything.

Huang waited until she seemed to be back in control before whispering, “Devon, why do you still do this job?”

The question caught her off guard, and an answer didn’t immediately jump out at her. She thought about it, really thought about it; why she got up in the morning, put on the badge, and went to deal with the worst side of humanity. Why she put her life on the line for strangers. Why she cared enough to help people.

“Because if I don’t, who will?” she sniffled. She wanted to expand on that, but the right words didn’t come up right away. She took a deep breath, tried to pull in her scattered thoughts, then said, “you’re right, you know. The lives saved are more important than the lives lost. This city, this world, can be a terrible, terrible place. But if I can save even one person, one child, then it’s worth it to me.” She sniffled again and blurted out, voice desperate, “I just want to help people.”

Huang nodded. “That’s a good answer. The fact that you even had an answer is a good sign, Devon. You still have your humanity. You’re still a good person.” Huang always knew exactly what Devon was really feeling; inadequate, remorseful, and most of all, guilty.

“Even if those 9 deaths are my fault?”

“Devon listen to me. Emma”—her name still hit Devon in the stomach—“knew what she was doing. It was her choice to cover the children’s escape. Besides, if you didn’t unlock that cage, what do you think would have happened to those kids?”

As much as Devon wanted to argue that the cage was out of the line of fire, she didn’t know what would have happened. Maybe the kids would’ve been safe until the firefight was over. Or maybe the traffickers would have decided that they didn’t want any witnesses.

“Survivor’s guilt takes time to digest, to move forward. I agree with your boss, too; talk to a psychiatrist about this. I can talk to you as a friend, but not as a doctor-patient anymore. The one in your sector is good, and a friend of mine,” Huang said.

Devon nodded, agreeing to go to the company shrink. “You know me, though. I can’t take time off; I’ll go insane.”

“You are a workaholic,” Huang agreed. He was the only one allowed to call her that, no matter how true it was. “How about I arrange Cragen to call you if he can use your help?”

Work for the NYPD? Busting low-level rapists and pedophiles? Trudging through the shit field work, the court systems, and the corrupted politics of the mayor’s office? “Sounds like a deal…as long as I don’t have to work with that Detective Stabler.”

“He can be a little abrasive,” Huang said, smiling. “But he grows on you…eventually.”

“Like a parasite?”

Huang laughed at that. “He is a good detective, and a pretty good person. He gets angry, and he’s headstrong. But at the end of the day, I’m glad SVU has him on their side.”

Conversation coming to an end, they both stood up. Devon didn’t really care what her face looked like after all that crying. All that mattered was that she was tired and hurting but feeling lighter than she had all day.

Huang stopped her as she went to leave. “Do me a favor, though.” When Devon arched an eyebrow, Huang said, “go see a doctor for that gunshot wound.”

#everyone deserves love #edl #fanfic #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #law & order svu #law & order svu fanfic #barba x oc #oc fanfic #my writing #chapter 1

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spndystopiabang · 4 years

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SPN Dystopia Bang 2020 Master List

The bang is over for 2020, but here are all the amazing stories and pieces of art that were created for this year.

Please do pay attention to tags and warnings below and when you click through. Also, please remember this is a multishipping friendly bang, and so the stories here are across a range of Supernatural ships.

You can also find all stories in this year's bang over on our AO3 Collection.

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Title: Bite The Hand That Feeds Author: hit_the_books Artist: Anyrei Rating: Explicit Ships: Castiel/Sam (Sastiel) Expected word count: 20k Major warnings and tags: Graphic depictions of violence Summary:

Two centuries ago, a great cataclysm hit the Earth. Monsters poured forth from a tear in reality, and the insidious energy from this rift turned much of the Earth into wasteland. Humans now survive in a handful of guarded megacities, like New Lawrence, while some live out in the wastes.

But what if there was a way to finally close the rift for good and save the Earth?

That’s what Castiel hopes when he happens upon Sam Winchester, a powerful psy—a human mutated by the energies of the rift.

Yet other psys have different plans. The cult of Azazel sees a newer, deadly future for the tear in the world and the rest of humanity.

Banding together with Sam’s brother Dean, Castiel and Sam set forth to heal the world once and for all, along with some help from old friends.

The Plan? Survive. Save the world. Fall in love. Link to story Link to art -

Title: I’m All Yours My Love Author: DWImpala67 Artist: EmmaTheSlayer Rating: Mature Length: 33121 Pairings: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles Warnings: No Major Archives warning Apply Summary:

They live in a world where a love marriage was a taboo and more so for male carriers. Jared is one of them. His father has arranged for his marriage with Jensen Ackles, whom he doesn’t know from Adam. Unfortunately for him, he falls in love with another man. He’s happy and they keep it under wraps until they can seek Jared’s parents’ permission. But, his secret is exposed and his guy is sent packing and Jared is married off to Jensen Ackles forcefully to honor his family name. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to forget his first love and move on.

Jensen Ackles was a romantic. He always believed his married life would be one full of love and belonging, of togetherness. He took one look at his husband and fell hard and fast for him. His husband is the single most treasured and important person to him in the entire world. He’ll do anything to make his husband happy. But what he gets instead is a husband who’s given his heart away already. So, Jensen decides to help his husband find his true love. Only, Jared has other ideas… Will Jared get his happily ever after? Or will they both find something to soothe their battered soul?

Link to fic: Archive Of Our Own Link to art: LiveJournal - Title: A Town Called Rhoda Author: smalltrolven Artist: MidnightSilver Rating: Explicit Length: 24,937 Pairings: Sam/Dean, (Dean/Original Binary Character) Warnings: Brief mentions of past torture, enslavement. Summary:

It’s the end of the world, and Dean believes Sam is gone along with the rest of San Francisco. When the nukes began to fall they were separated by hundreds of miles, and now there’s no point. He tries his hardest to move on, living in a small town in the redwood forest of Northern California. This is the story of what happens when Sam eventually shows up after enduring an epic journey just to reach Dean.

Link to fic: LJ or AO3

Link to art: AO3 -

Title: Brother Take My Hand Author: MidnightSilver Artist: MissJenniferB Rating: Explicit Length: 40K Pairings: Sam/Dean Warnings: sentient animal sex (Sam and Dean are wolves), Sam is 17 at the start of the fic, attempted non con, Magical roofies, minor character death, canon level gore and violence (please read tags) Summary: All Sam has ever known is Yellow Eyes’ rule and life within the Pack, but he is sure there has to be more.

The young wolf questions everything he’s been taught. Why is he the only one fascinated by old ruins? Is human nature really so evil that it justifies using other creatures as slaves? And why can no one else see the benefits of using hands?

Dean loves Sam but he doesn’t have any answers. In fact he wishes Sam didn’t have so many questions.

On the summer equinox fate will force Sam to make some choices and Yellow Eyes is already showing far too much interest in him. So what will the young wolf do when he has to choose between the Pack and his conscience?

Link to Fic

Link to Art

Title: The Sounds of Hope Shall Never Fade Author: Hannah-deserved-better (Hannah_girl) Artist: Duck (majesticduxk) Rating: Mature Length: 14,215 Pairings: Hanstiel Squared (Castiel/Hannah/Castiel’s female vessel/Hannah’s male vessel) Warnings: Abuse, torture, medical experimentation, attempted artificial insemination, captivity, pregnancy, emotional trauma, psychological trauma, Evil!Sam, Evil!Dean, major character death (sort of) Summary: Castiel and Hannah fall into an alternate reality where they encounter their counterparts in this world. Castielle (Castiel’s female vessel) and Hana (Hannah’s male vessel) have endured decades of torment at the hands of these humans. Castiel and Hannah meet Sam and Dean, but these aren't the Sam and Dean they know. They are a twisted, cruel, uncaring version of their real-world counterparts and they see the angels and their powerhouse supply of angel grace as commodities. The Angels power their underground world after a comet strike destroyed life on the surface. Now, this small underground civilization, one of many all over the world, has running water, food, power, and other necessities all powered by angel grace. Sam and Dean will do whatever it takes to hold onto their four precious powerhouses, and have long since given up on caring about the comfort of their angelic captives. Castiel, Hannah, and their counterparts must endure endless medical experiments, painful grace extractions, and deplorable living conditions, and somehow they must find a way to survive because the future of heaven may hang in the balance.

Link to fic

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Title: When Worlds Collide Author: LilyAnson Artist: AnyRei Rating: General Length: 18500 Pairings: Mick Davies/Arthur Ketch, Matt Anderson/Hilary BeckerWarnings: No warnings really apply Summary:

Ketch is halfway across the country when the Croatoan virus break out. Worried about his boyfriend he races as fast as he can to find out if Mick is still alive or not. Upon arrival he finds something new. A strange, floating object, seemly made out of what appeared to be glass shards hovered nearby.

Matt is a traveler from the future bent and determined to save his world. If that means he has to use the people around him, so be it. That is, until he falls for one of his fellow teammates. Now he must decide whether or not saving the potential future is worth losing the one person he's ever loved.

Otherwise known as what happens when dinosaurs and the supernatural meet.

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Title: Fabulous Monsters Author: ellispark Artist: nickel Rating: Mature Length: 10k Pairings: Dean/Castiel Warnings: Canon-typical violence, references to torture and brainwashing, references to war crimes Summary:

It’s been a year since Dean last saw Castiel — a year since he was captured and reprogrammed by the angels, trained to be a torturer. When Charlie escapes the angels, she tells him Cas can still be saved.

Dean rushes to Cas’s rescue, unsure of what he’ll find. Will Cas be the loyal friend he lost, or the emotionless killer the angels turned him into?

Link to fic

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Title: WEDLOCKED Author: spnsmile Artist: oddsocksandstuff Rating: Explicit Length: 50k+ Pairings: Castiel/ Dean Winchester Warnings: Noncon, graphic violence, torture... Summary:

Dean Winchester, the leader of the Southern Resistance, makes a decision to stay in the capital keeping his brother alive, meeting his new husband with a promise to never break.

Castiel Novak, a Skywalker, has just returned to Discordia from his trip to outer space. Trained by the best Capacitors from VOLTS, the paramilitary officers, he finds himself with a new mission— to connect with a rebel and transform him into a submissive member of the society.

Can Castiel convince Dean to stay by his side? Or will he turn against the society threatening Dean?

Link to fic

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Title: Feathers On My Breath Author: navajolovesdestiel Artist: kuwlshadow Rating: Explicit Pairing: Dean/Castiel Warnings: Drug use Summary: The world following the apocalypse was a very different place than before. After Sam said yes to Lucifer, after he and Michael had fought the final battle, the angels won. They retreated to heaven after locking Lucifer away again, sealing heaven.

There were a few angels who were left behind, trapped forever on earth. Some humans had survived. They lived in small groups, foraging for food, medicine, necessities. But human beings are resilient. They prospered, grew in numbers as babies were born.

One thing they all had in common was their hatred of angels. If they ever trapped one it was swiftly put to death, or worse.

Link to Fic

Link to Art

Title: Fields of Freja Author: Emblue_Sparks and tfw_cas (punk-is-notdead) Artist: shealynn88 Rating: Explicit Length: 65k+ Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester (Past Dean/Benny, Claire/Kaia, Sam/Eileen) Warnings: MCD (Dean only), Graphic Violence, Juvenile Soldiers, Juvenile Deaths Summary:

Bolivian-born Dean Winchester is a seasoned soldier, having served courageously in the rebellion against an immortal and tyrannical visionary. Yet his greatest fight begins the day his life ends. Dean awakens to a beautifully winged, albeit sardonic man, claiming him for Valhalla. Only problem: Like Helheim is he going. Not until Sam's safe from the Bright One in New Lebanon, tech beacon of the broken world, resting within the arctic circle.

As the only male Valkyrie in existence, Castiel Sigurd is an outcast tasked with purpose, yet denied companionship. Called to claim the only soldier to refuse the honor of Valhalla, intrigue paints his otherwise colorless eternity. Castiel journeys with Dean to find Sam, who's been lost to the winds for years. With nothing but a clue-filled journal and an oath to ascend upon 'mission accomplished,' Dean embarks on this last harrowing quest, experiencing adventure beyond his wildest fantasy and heart's desire along the way.

Link to fic

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===

Check out the SPN Dystopia Bang 2020 AO3 collection here!

#spn fanfic #spn fanart #supernatural #spn rpf #big bangs #spn dystopia bang #sdb2020 #spn dystopia bang 2020

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that-banana-headed-bovine · 4 years

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Knight Rider 2000

WARNING

This post contains spoilers for Knight Rider 2000, the 1991 film which attempts to expand on the canonical universe of Knight Rider (1982-1986). Key word, attempts. I know that this film came out almost 30 years ago at this point, but I also know that this fandom grows a little bit every day, and there will ALWAYS be people who haven’t seen every episode (myself included), let alone every movie! I happened to catch it on Charge! for Hoff's birthday (yes I'm hella late posting this LOL) with my good friend @trust-doesnt-oxidize, and boy let me tell you, it was… Something.

From here on out, I’m not holding back from sharing my impression of the film based on specific details from it, so if you want a spoiler-free viewing, go watch it and come back!! Or… don’t, it’s kind of awful. I can only think of one thing in canon that it may spoil, and even that appears in early Season 2 and is fairly minor, so if you are curious about it, I HIGHLY recommend watching it BEFORE reading this. The scenes with the most impact are touching because they come as a surprise, so even if you know the general plot of the film, I would recommend watching it first.

Also this is really rambley because I have a lot of emotions about this series and, by extension, this movie. I really don’t blame you if you click away here, but if you DO read it all the way through, I would love to hear anything you would like to add, agree or disagree!

OKAY! Knight Rider 2000 is a movie that exists! And I hate it!

The film sets up an interesting argument between two groups of people whose names I don’t remember because they were boring (except for Devon, I know his name at this point). In this interpretation of the “future,” gun control has been implemented to,,, some extent, I can’t entirely tell if there have been some policies implemented across the country or if it is all localized in this one city that even the Wikipedia page for this movie doesn’t bother to mention. And no, this city is NOT in California for once! Usually I would be happy to see a change of setting, but considering that everything in this film felt so foreign to the Knight Rider that we know, it would have been nice to at least have a familiar setting. Anyway, gun control stuff. The debate between whether these gun control policies are ethical or not is very interesting. Innocent people are dying because the wrong people have guns and the police are rendered useless when they themselves don’t have access to weapons. This argument happens to support my perspective on the issue, so I appreciated how it took a look at that side WITHOUT it sounding like we are crazy murderer people, but I digress. It makes sense that the ban happened in the first place, because much like how the main conflict in Pixar’s latest film Incredibles 2 revolves around society’s over-reliance on superheroes, I could see Knight Rider’s society becoming dependent on technology to save them. It can be easy to seem like the most advanced tech in that society is present only in KITT and KIFT, and to SOME extent that is true. However, Shawn does say that it is relatively common in this society for people to have memory chips in their brain. That counts for something. And the police DO have a defense mechanism according to the Wikipedia page for this movie, it’s just nonlethal.

So as you can see, I am very interested in the conflict this world sets up. I sure hope they expand on these conflicting ideologies throughout the film, giving us a clearer idea of why the bans were set in place AND giving us insight into what exactly has caused some revolt against it. That subject is seemingly timeless, and with how decently the introduction tackled it, I have some confidence that this film could pull it off in a tasteful way. Wouldn’t that be amazing? It’s some of the most serious subject matter Knight Rider has ever tackled. It’s so interesting!

Yeah they pretty much abandon that plot in place of a very, very bad copy of the original show’s “Hearts of Stone” (season 1, episode 14). Illegal guns exist and are bad, but we don’t really know why. I may know a little better if I had been listening closer, but I was trying to not get so bored that I missed Kitt’s parts!

At some point during this sequence, we are introduced to Shawn, a happy police officer who is happy to have a family on a happy birthday. And then she gets shot! Due to head force trauma rendering her unconscious, she’s sent to the hospital. She goes in for a risky operation that miraculously saves her life against all odds.

Then, Michael wakes up with Garthe Knight’s face and hears a great story about how one man CAN make a difference!… I mean what?

Jokes aside, it’s kind of amazing how much this very Michael-esque sequence comes across very differently. It’s almost the perfect example of why I don’t like this movie. The surgery is weirdly realistic for a Knight Rider entity. There’s blood and screens and surgeons and a sterile white room for operations. Michael woke up in a Medieval castle with one doctor and two random people he’d never met at his side. Shawn’s situation clearly makes more sense, but is it half as fun and whimsical? No, no it’s not. This whole film comes across as depressing to me, and it’s only worsened by what’s to come. Apparently, she had KITT’s CPU/Microprocessor/something sciencey implanted into her brain. That’s especially strange since all that I saw was a yellow liquid being injected directly into her skull! That’s a lovely image, and definitely gave me the idea that there was a full computer chip going in there??? (It may have actually been explained more clearly, and I just looked away because eek weirdly bloody operation scene) This caused her personality to do a full 180. So, Shawn is going to be fun, snarky, and full of personality like KITT is because they share memories now! Right? Right???

I think they tried to do that, but it came across flat. So flat. She speaks in a purposefully monotone, robotic voice and delivers downright mean comments that leave Michael and KITT scratching their heads. She seems to lack basic empathy until her own memories start flooding back, and at that point, the emotions she show seem so foreign to the character we see that it’s not remotely believable. You want me to believe that this robotic woman with -10 personality points started nearly crying after one string of memories, albeit a very traumatic one, entered her mind? This would have been believable if she was entirely changed afterwards, coming across as far more human, but that was only the case sometimes. It also would have been believable if the film had the same energy that the original Knight Rider show does, where suspending one’s disbelief is necessary to make it past the opening credits. However, this movie tries to be so grounded that the kind of dramatic beats that would work in the original seem forced here.

Shawn is not the only character who I take issue with, though. Let’s start with the most potentially problematic change from the usual canon in the entire film: KITT’s personality. I have very mixed feelings on how he is portrayed. If you’ve seen as much as a spattering of quotes from this movie, you probably could sense that KITT was… off. When KITT first comes on screen, he slams Michael with a wave of insults, and none of them come off as their normal joking around. However, I don’t necessarily have a problem with that because he has the proper motivation to be very, very upset. He is sitting on a desk as a heap of loosely connected parts that have just enough power to make the signature red scanner whir and make an oddly terrifying red light eyeball thing (Hal???) move. The first thing he hears is Devon nonchalantly saying something along the lines of, “I’m afraid he was recycled” to explain why KITT has been deactivated for OVER A DECADE and is not currently in anything that moves (my Charge! stream thing lagged at this point but @trust-doesnt-oxidize has since told me that Devon DID appear upset about KITT's being sold, but KITT likely wouldn't have heard that and what Devon said seemed to be moreso directed at HOW the chip was sold and not the fact that it was sold in the first place). KITT is justifiably mad, and if they had kept KITT’s actions in character while his emotions said otherwise, I would have no problem with it at all.

However, once KITT’s CPU is somehow implanted into Michael’s Chevrolet, KITT does not act in character. Shawn drives, not Michael, so it stands to reason that he would not necessarily listen to her. She stole his CPU, his life for over a decade. KITT does tend to listen to human companions, regardless of whether he is programmed to or not, but I can see where this would be an exception. However, Michael soon intercedes and essentially tells him to cut it out. Based on everything that the original Knight Rider told us, KITT no longer has a choice of whether to listen or not. Michael is ultimately the one who calls the shots because of KITT’s very programming. And yet, in this scene, KITT doesn’t listen to Michael and apparently gets so angry that he downright stops functioning. Because that happens all the time in the original series!

And if you’re wondering where I got the conclusion that KITT frustrated his circuits to the point where they could no longer work, he said that. KITT. Admitted to having feelings. In fact, he did not just admit to being angry in the moment. He told Michael that, while it may seem like he is an emotionless robot, he does have a “feelings chip.” A FEELINGS CHIP-

I am for recognizing KITT’s obvious emotions as much as the next guy. I think they are often overlooked when discussing his character. While I don’t think that real artificial intelligence will ever reach the level of human consciousness, the entire energy of Knight Rider comes from playing with this concept by portraying an AI character who clearly emotes interacting with a human who doesn’t seem to know that. But the thing that makes this show feel so sincere is that neither character plays too heavily into that trope. While not always knowing how much KITT feels and by extension hurting those feelings alarmingly often, Michael recognizes it enough to work in concert with KITT, apologize for his more major flubs, and consider KITT a friend. And KITT subverts the trope by never recognizing that he has feelings to begin with. He will say that he cannot feel sadness but, in the next breath, say that something upset him. He will say he cannot hold a grudge only to immediately rattle off a string of insults directed at the person he clearly has a grudge on. The show is magic in how these two characters display a subtle chemistry that always has room to grow because both characters are slowly coming to see each other for who they truly are and supporting one another along the way. From what I can tell, the original show never fully concludes that arc, and it may even start regressing after Season 1. However, we can feasibly see how Michael could slowly come to understand that KITT really does feel things just as much as he does. And we can imagine the relief KITT would feel knowing that Michael was never bothered by that possibility.

So, you can see where I have a big problem with KITT spelling it out so plainly. The audience gets full confirmation about what has been displayed to us through nuanced hints throughout the series, which sounds a lot more satisfying than it really ends up being in this film. But worse than an underwhelming conclusion to a thrilling story, Michael knows it plain as day. There is very little buildup to KITT admitting this. He barely even sounds moved. Instead, in this movie, the “feelings chip” is a fact of life that does not need to be covered up in the slightest. Michael himself doesn’t really… react. He just kind of nods along, as if he’s saying, “Huh, makes sense, alright.” After everything these two have been through, if there really was such a simple explanation for why KITT is the way he is… why arguments went south, why the mere mention of a Chevrolet was enough to get a seemingly jealous response, why inconsequential things like music taste and gambling were subjects of debate, why KITT had always acted so exaggeratedly dismissive when topics of emotional significance struck a chord, why every little sarcastic banter had a hint of happiness until it didn’t… don’t you think Michael would do something? Whether that something would be a gentle, “I always knew that, pal”; a shocked, “Why didn’tchya tell me sooner?!”; or even a sarcastic, disbelieving, “Yeah, right” is up to interpretation. But there would be something.

And yet, even that concept is flawed. We learn a lot from KARR’s inclusion in the original series, and what I take away from it boils down to a simple sentiment. FLAG never meant for their AIs to be human. I do realize that directly contradicts what Devon says within this film, but I see that as another way for the film to steer the plot in this direction, not as a tie in to the original. When Wilton says that one man CAN make a difference, he means that. He isn’t considering that KITT is just as much a person as Michael. He’s not seeing that, at the end of the day, teamwork is what makes the show work, even if Michael is the glue that holds it together. So, I think that to say that there is a “feelings chip” is to disregard the entire point of the original, that in this world life finds a way of inserting itself and that KITT’s (and KARR’s for that matter) humanity is an anomaly, not the rule. At the end of the day, KITT’s humanity can’t be explained away with science. And really, I don’t think it should be explained away at all. The show has had an amazing trend of showing us how KITT feels, in all its unorthodox glory, alongside private moments that had me sobbing like a baby. The movie should just be like a longer, more complex episode of Knight Rider… Although I cannot pinpoint exactly how it should be done in the context of this film, I know there are ways that Michael could have been shown that KITT feels rather than being told.

One last complaint, albeit a more minor one, is the idea that he has to listen to what Shawn says over Michael's authority. I have spent a decent amount of time thinking about this one point, which has caused a lot of the delay in posting this. There's multiple reasons why this flies right in the face of what is canon in the original series. Perhaps the most obvious of these problems is the fact that, in the original pilot episode, it's made very clear that KITT can't assume control of the Knight 2000 without Michael's express permission unless Michael is unconcious. Devon makes it quite clear in this episode that KITT is programmed specifically to listen to Michael, not just anyone who happens to be piloting the vehicle at the time. In case there was any doubt about this, KITT ejects two people who are attempting to steal him later in the episode (well, ok, later in the two-parter, I don't know if it was the same episode or not). The show isn't SUPER strict about this in future episodes, but it does at least acknowledge Michael's authority in a few pivotal moments throughout Season 1 (I can't comment on episodes that I haven't seen yet, but I suspect that this pattern continues). Of all the rules set up throughout the series, it actually seems to be the most loyal to this one. One moment that stands out to me is in Trust Doesn't Rust when KITT attempts to stop Michael from causing a head-on collision with KARR, but Michael then overrides him and the climax unfolds. If one of the most iconic moments in the series is caused by this one bit of programming, to throw it out in the film is to disrespect the basis of the original series.

Speaking of KARR, he provides yet another reason niglecting this detail is such a big problem. From what we can tell, KARR isn't programmed to one specific driver (at least, not anymore[?]), and so he can override anyone in the pilot's seat. This is something they seem to highlight in TDR as well, although not so plainly as the previous point. KARR ends up ditching Tony to gain speed and get an upper hand in the chase with Michael and KITT (although a scene they deleted would have made this a mUCH MORE SENSIBLE ACTION THAT R E A L L Y ISN'T A BETRAYAL but y'know what this post isn't about that) whereas KITT has to listen to Michael even to his own detriment. If this one feature is indeed one of the major things that separates KITT from KARR, the idea that Shawn can override all of that cheapens the original conflict between KITT and KARR.

...Well okay, let's be real, KARR was never that compelling as an antagonist to begin with because he's a LOYAL SWEETIEPIE-- I'll stop.

And finally, we have the biggest, most bizarre reason that this is a problem:

If Shawn can override Michael's authority, that means KITT can override Michael's authority.

Why? This would be the first time (outside of episodes where some sort of reprogramming or mind control was involved) in the series that KITT had not only listened to another human instead of Michael, but also listened to that person OVER Michael. The only difference I can see between Shawn and quite literally anyone else in the show's history is that Shawn has KITT's chip implant thing. If that's the reason her opinion has more credence than Michael's, then wouldn't that mean KITT's own opinion has that authority? If that is the case, literally every example I've gone through in the last couple of paragraphs is not just challenged but rather negated entirely.

The most frustrating thing about this scene is that it simply didn't have to happen. Michael could have gone along with KITT's plan, showing him (and us) that he does trust his former partner even after all these years. Shawn could have convinced Michael to go along with it using her... feelings chip. Blegh. Or we could have had a stubborn Michael force this scene to be delayed, likely improving the pacing overall. Maybe we could have even seen a frustrated and emotionally exhausted Shawn wait until Michael is not in the car and then plead KITT to give her the truth, no matter what Michael says. We have seen KITT control his actions without Michael's input plenty of times, and we could have seen some more of his humanity show through if he could relate to Shawn's struggles... after all, he too has missing memories because she has his chip. They're both going through a bit of an identity crisis. I'm sure that he could find some workaround in his programming to help her if Michael wasn't there insisting that he does not take this course of action.

But even after all of that fussing over what has been done wrong with KITT, I can’t deny that he is the heart and soul of this film. There was only one scene in this film that brought me near tears. I got more of an emotional impact from this one clip than I have from a lot of movies that are undeniably much better. Michael’s old-fashioned Chevrolet does not hold up in the year 2000, and it is clear that the usual car chase sequence won’t work as police vehicles quickly creep up on them. I was personally very curious what they would do here. I figured that KITT would find some way to outsmart the drivers of the police cars, maybe by ending up on an elevated mountain road that trips up the other drivers and causes them to waste time turning around and hopping on that same path. Or, maybe, KITT would access a road that’s too narrow for the relatively bulky police cars. However, it quickly becomes clear that this city is made up of wide roads on the ground. As KITT veers off the road and tells Michael to trust him, the I found myself having to trust him. This isn’t the way Knight Rider chases usually go, and with all these odds stacked against him, the only thing we can do is hold our breath. The way this scene is staged to send us into this just as blind as Michael is, frankly, genius. Water slowly creeps into the frame as a feeling of dread builds at the thought of what KITT might do.

Surely, we are led to think, he will knock into some boxes and turn right back around. Right? We’re reminded of the fact that this is not the Knight 2000, that there is no chance of this car floating. That if KITT does what he really seems to be doing, there’s no chance… but he wouldn’t, would he? This is the only action sequence in the film that had me at the edge of my seat, staring wide eyed at the screen. And then, the turn that you want so badly to come doesn’t, and you have to wonder what’s about to happen. What was KITT thinking? Won’t Michael and Shawn drown? And, most prominently in my mind, won’t KITT drown?

For a moment, this scene plays us into believing that, because magic FLAG science that is pretty par for the course, everything is fine. KITT explains that they have an airtight cab and over 20 minutes of oxygen. Everyone lets out a collective breath of relief. We see it in Michael and Shawn, and I know I felt myself relax.

And then there’s a flicker in the screen, and that pit in the bottom of my stomach came right back. Michael is confused, and KITT explains what we should have realized was inevitable. This is KITT sacrificing himself. He even goes as far as to let Shawn know that she can use any of his computer chips that she may need. This comes off as strange at first, but it goes to show that KITT is, at his core, the same kind soul we always knew. He acts angry because he feels betrayed, but given the choice, he will chose another person’s life over his own, always. Even the microprocessor that he is most frustrated over, the thing that seems to drive a wedge between him and Shawn, is just how he is expressing his hurt. Now, thinking it is the end, he offers it up freely, and Shawn doesn’t seem to know how to respond. KITT is calm as he says his final goodbyes. And this is the first place in the film that we get to hear the amazingly nuanced voice acting that William Daniels is so great at. KITT sounds collected and at peace with what is to come, but there are also subtle hints that he is at least a bit nervous, a bit sad. “I know. I guess this is goodbye.” He doesn’t want to leave his friends, but he knows that he has to for them to be safe. Even if the pacing of the film seems to actively try to undermine this moment, it stands out to me as an amazing scene, even if the reaction from Michael is underwhelming at best and the reaction from Shawn is… as much as can be expected from Shawn, but that’s not saying much. As far as KITT knows in that moment, these are his last words: “Michael, take care of yourself.” Down to the last moment, Michael is everything to him.

IjustwannamakeitclearquicklythatIthinktheirrelationshipisentirelyplatonicokthankyou

And I felt sad, big time sad. The movie up until that point was unbelievably boring to me, and this wasn’t a turning point where the movie suddenly became great. It was a moment so darn good that I almost don’t think the movie deserved for it to have as big of an impact as it did. But that shows just how powerful this universe is, how wonderfully honest these characters are. Even after being butchered practically beyond recognition, one scene in-character can still bring you to tears because you have connected with them so deeply throughout the TV series.

AND THEN DEVON DIED IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS :D

I don’t like Devon.

Devon was actually more tolerable in this movie than normal, and I can see where people who don’t hate him could be sad that he died I just,,, he has hurt or talked down to KITT and KARR so many times that I actually could not sympathize. What’s even more frustrating about that is that Devon’s death is the one that Michael got all sad over when KITT sacrificed his life for him and Devon got kidnapped randomly but okay go off movie you can’t ruin that scene for me. I knew going in that Devon died, but I was expecting them to spend a lot more time setting it up and making it as dramatic as possible. Nope, he just got a shot to the old air tanks I guess? My view of it is nothing more than that it’s a thing that happened.

OH AND DEVON DID PULL ONE HEINOUS ACT. He said that KIFT was better than KITT in every way other than that KITT has humanity. SINCE WHEN HAS DEVON GIVEN ONE SINGULAR HOOT ABOUT THE AI’S BEING ALIVE??? TELL KARR THAT??? HECK, TELL DEACTIVATED KITT THAT YOU WERE JUST FINE SELLING OFF AT AUCTION THAT?!?! Also also, KIFT DOES NOT C O M P A R E TO KITT. We are coming back to KIFT in a moment, don’t you worry. For now, I just. Low blow, Devon, low blow.

Michael was fine too, he played a weirdly small part and that felt off but everything he said seemed pretty in character. The most out of character parts were when he said nothing at all. OH AND WHERE HE WAS REPLACING BONNIE but that’s besides the point, no Bonnie OR April… no Bonnie OR April… I’m fine…

…

It feels like this movie wants you to forget that Michael exists because Shawn is here she’s more interesting, right? Right???

She’s really not.

So back to KIFT. My favorite part of KIFT is that pronouncing KIFT in your head sounds funny. It’s like “gift” but if the gift were actually an underwhelming villain of sorts that is overtaken in a garage, parked, by Michael either removing his microprocessor entirely or moving it to a Chevrolet.

I was surprised how not bad KIFT looked. I had seen stills from the movie that looked really uninteresting compared to the regular designs, and while I still agree to some extent, it was a lot more epic than I would have thought. Something about how the paint shines on it is captivating. I was genuinely happy when KITT was moved to the snazzy red vehicle, although a big part of that could have been how disgusting mint green looks with red. Seriously, including the red scanner on that bizarre seafoamy-bluey car (and yes, I do think it is a very pretty car by itself) was like when people say movies were “inspired” but in the opposite direction. And the scanner looked weirdly small? Was it just me?

Am I the only one who feels w e i r d just looking at this??

I think this is the most normal thing to be categorized as being in uncanny valley but there we go, I did it. It’s not right.

Anyway, as neat as KIFT looks, it is no comparison to the classic Knight 2000 or even Season 3 KARR. Red can be striking, but not when the classic scanner is also red. No contrast!

KIFT is absurdly easy to forget, and I don’t think that the car’s design has anything to do with it. KITT spends most of the movie piloting that car, and while it is not what we are used to, it doesn’t come across as super lame to me, either…or at least, not because of the design. The biggest problem with KIFT is, I think, simply his voice. His voice feels so out of place in the movie, and it’s so strange to me considering that Daniels’ voice is integrated just fine. The recording sounds too crisp, too clean. KITT’s voice always has a great deal of character, a very Earthy-sounding voice for an AI character. I actually think that this incongruity is purposeful, and it’s a very clever concept. We are supposed to recognize that KIFT isn’t human like KITT is. KIFT sounds out of place in the real world among real people; he’s too neat around the edges. It’s especially obvious when KITT and KIFT talk to each other. This is also mirrored by how KITT occupies a well-loved Chevrolet that has little imperfections that make it feel real whereas KIFT is in this red… whatever it is that feels like it comes out of a sci-fi film. This effect would have really worked if we had enough time with KIFT to understand his personality–or, more aptly, his lack of personality. What makes this not work is the fact that we spend practically no time with KIFT. We don’t get to hear what he feels he is programmed to do, we don’t get to hear him deliver the sort of lifeless lines that Shawn did that made her so unlikable, and we don’t even get to hear his voice more than 4-5 times. Every time comes as a shock, taking us out of the moment of the film. We could have gotten used to his crisp sound if he had spoken more, and we may have seen the actual plot significance of it. Instead, it pulls you right out of the movie.

Oh yeah, and the only line(s?) that KIFT delivers to KITT are full-on taunting… that’s not very lifeless of you KIFT.

Alright, just one last thing to really hammer home a point from earlier and conclude this whole thing. You know what I was saying about this movie lacking the whimsical nature of the TV show? Well, the final chase puts the icing on this oddly sullen crab cake.

Yes, crab cake.

Because the pinchy crab that is Shawn makes it quite painful to get this particular cake and icing doesn’t even belong on it anyway.

KITT is racing down the street in this bright red car that I just explained is thematically wrong for him to be driving tbh but whatever, he’s racing in it and comes up to a barricade of randomly stacked up cars.

Oh Yeah, we all know what is coming.

The music swells. Michael looks at the upcoming barricade with furrowed eyebrows and quietly asks KITT what the heck they’re going to do now.

OH YEAH, we definitely know what is coming.

And at last, for the first time in the film…

KITT veers off to the right and they drive on water. “It’s really sink or swim with you, isn’t it?” Michael asks, pretending that’s funny as if I am not still emotionally raw from that scene that happened an hour ago.

Apparently, KIFT had that one obscure feature from “Return to Cadiz,” the Season 2 episode where April forces KITT to follow KARR into the ocean on the hopes that waterproof wheels might work maybe, directly ignoring his many attempts to get out of it. Yay. I love references to That Episode. That Episode which baited me with an opening that looked like KARR could have been discovered underwater only to show me that not only was there no KARR, but KITT was going to be bullied into repeating what his brother did when he died. Wholesome. Lovely. Fantastic. And how did KITT know for sure that would work? KITT clearly still has some technical hiccups in his own CPU from Michael tampering with it, that was an awful lot of confidence to place in a maybe.

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY…

THIS MOVIE DID NOT HAVE A TURBO BOOST

A TURBO BOOST

I cannot believe that a movie based around Knight Rider did not have a turbo boost (or for that matter, the THEMESONG???). Like I am honestly still surprised by it. Almost every episode of the original show had at least one turbo boost, and there is a reason. The idea of a talking car jumping in midair, sometimes with Michael “WOO!”-ing like a girl, is so fantastically fun that nobody even tries to question how impossible it is. I think we all know how impossible it is, and that doesn’t matter, it is yet another thing that embodies the heart of this show.

And… not even one.

…

So yeah, that just happened. I think this is technically a small novel. Wow.

I know that I'm still missing a lot... I have a lot of thoughts about this movie, and if you for some reason want more please ask! I would also love to hear your thoughts on this! Do you agree with my analysis? Do you disagree entirely? Did you notice something that I failed to mention entirely? Pleasepleaseplease send ideas, I would love to hear them! Also know that, no matter how much I was disappointed by the movie itself, I am fully open to hearing your ideas about how to improve or expand upon it. I truly believe that this film introduced some great concepts, and I would absolutely adore seeing them reworked in a way that's more true to the original. Thank you for reading! :D

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speaknowslut13 · 3 years

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Lovely Lauren! ✨ (I’ll do some alliteration too hehe so no I don’t think it’s weird 🤪)

No worries at all, I’m just glad tumblr didn’t eat it 😅 congratulations on cleaning your room, that can sometimes feel like such a monumental task!!

And thank you!! 🥰 I didn’t even have too many bad side effects, other than some slight pain in my arm and being incredibly tired for a few days (but then again I’m always tired so is it fair to blame that on the vaccine lol 🤔)

You’re very welcome! And it is so important for the younger generations, I always try to model inclusivity for my students and I hope that I’m succeeding but at the very least I’m trying.

I think with a lot of arts and humanities subjects, but especially with writing, people tend to underestimate the effort that actually goes into the craft until they actually try it. I also love reading sonnets but I’m not a huge fan of writing them because they are so hard 🥲

to narrow down the categories a bit, do you have a favorite sonnet? What is the poem you would want read at your funeral?

I totally agree, there’s a difference between getting dark and using humor as a coping mechanism for difficult things versus using it to be mean and malicious but writing it off as “haha just a joke!” 🙄

I also despise economics haha would prefer if the made up little numbers did NOT control our lives but alas! If you were to someday own your own business, what kind of business would it be??

I don’t think I’ve asked before, so what kind of work does your husband do? That’s really unfortunate about the state of the records, I’m sorry that’s the situation and hope it all works out for the best should either of you decide to go back!!

Ohhh I also have a hidden objects game that I like to play! It’s called Manor Matters, and I like that one and Gardenscapes because there’s a storyline to them so it feels more engaging than just playing the game part. I mostly like to play on the train or the bus haha.

Totally fair, being in somebody’s wedding can be very stressful. Is your sister older or younger? I have several close friends getting married this summer but I’m not able to attend because of travel restrictions which kind of bums me out. I think lacy dresses are so gorgeous!! I truly hope that you’ll be able to have that someday 🥰

Your chair sounds fabulous, it’s so nice to have a good non bed lounging spot!! I’m thinking of rearranging the furniture in my room because I’m kind of bored with the layout and maybe even getting a few new items of furniture (I’m in desperate need of a bookshelf rn) so I’ll keep you updated on how that goes.

Sunflowers are one of my favorite flowers! And I love seeing dandelions first pop up in the spring, such a nice burst of color after winter. Pink is such a fun color, I loved the “dusty pastel” color trend a few years ago and had so many dusty rose clothes hahah.

Ohhh I haven’t watched H2O in forever!! When I was in high school I babysat for this family pretty consistently and the daughter loved it so we watched it a lot together. Might be fun to watch again! What’s your favorite marvel movie? I’ve never really been able to get into it but my students love it so I promised them if we went into another lockdown I would make it my quarantine project to watch the whole franchise lol.

I’m so glad you were able to see your friend!! Are your kids close in age?

I did get my insurance sorted out thankfully and I even got in my chill walk! AND I went to the pool with a friend this week, so that was excellent. If I’m feeling up to it this weekend I’m planning on taking a hike up to a lake to go swimming and read! The weather has finally warmed up here after a month straight of rain 🌞

Sending you hugs! Xoxo 💖 Drew

Drew, my love! I love how your weekend turned out for you! Send some rain to Az for me, eh? Specifically the Phoenix area. A couple of nights ago we had something called a heat burst happen over my house. I didn’t know that was a thing until last night. But basically the temp skyrocketed suddenly at nine pm to triple digits. Plus, since it’s fire season, we’ve got all this lovely smoke trapping in the pollution. We’re under heat advisory too right now, so we have been stuck inside all week. No swimming. And definitely no going out of it can be helped. I live in hell.

The kids are close in age. Her son is about two and half years older than mine. They love each other. It’s pretty cute. We are just happy they get along.

I haven’t watched all the marvel movies, but they’re all pretty good. Honestly, Black Panther is pretty good. Iron man is one of my favorites but I’m kinda hooked on RDJ. He’s around my parents age but damn does he make it look good. The best marvel universe show I’ve seen yet has been Wanda Vision. Spider-Man is also a must see. They nailed the character. And Deadpool is good too.

I need a new bookshelf too. But I don’t have anyplace to put one right now. I think I need a bigger house. Some people would tell me to downsize my books. I would say that’s blasphemy.

It’s my younger sister who’s getting married. But I also have an older sister! We are all pretty close. Which is nice. In fact, I mentioned wanting to move out of country to my little sister the other day and she just about murdered me. 😂

Husband does data and reporting analysis. However, his degree is in Game Art and Design. He wanted to get his masters in something tech related. But he likes to code too. He and I talk about business ideas all the time! I always thought about owning a coffee shop/ book store. And recently I had this crazy good idea about a resin pour business. I do also have a clothing design I put together for school but also wanted to pursue in actuality.

The poem is by Thomas Gray and it’s called Ode on the Death of a Favorite Cat, Drowned in a Tub of Gold Fishes. It’s macabre. And sad. And just a little funny. I should be ashamed of myself. I really should.

Honestly the bard does it for me always. Sonnet 116 is always a classic. It’s been my favorite for a long time. But sonnet 130 is a close second. The first is traditionally romantic but there’s something to be said about Shakespeare’s realistic depiction of his love in 130. It’s honest and kinda sweet.

How do you feel about satire? It can be another difficult form to master but when it’s done well I find it incredibly enjoyable. I had the joy of reading A Modest Proposal to my husband once. He was only really familiar with Swift’s Guliver’s Travels. So I introduced him to that. The shock on his face was priceless. But he enjoyed it overall.

As I was pulling out the book I needed to get the proper name and author of the poem, I came across a book I bought awhile back. It’s called the Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. That was an excellent book, and if you haven’t already read it, I thought I’d recommend it. I like to recommend that one to people a lot. It was addicting.

I’m glad your side effects were tame! Here are some sunflowers 🌻 🌻 🌻 to brighten up your day!

Out of curiosity, what do you teach???

#inthaf anon #themodrenreplies

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hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon · 3 years

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Hear me out ----> SPN/Gravity Falls AU

A while back I saw a post(that i cannot find again, much to my chagrin) that listed a bunch of things Grunkle Stan did that have extreme Dean energy (this includes a brief but sincere attempt to make Jurassic Park real) and now a Gravity Falls AU lives in my head featuring:

Dean as Stan, who left home when he was twenty-one after a massive fight with his parents and Sam over Sam’s college shit and was a drifter for seven years until Sam called him and said he needed help in this podunk town in Oregon

Sam as Ford, who did manage to get out and go to college, met Kevin(as McGucket), and proceeded to do some real shady work with eldritch beings that resulted in both of them proceeding to get visions of some messed up shit, which causes Kevin to quit the project, leaving Sam to call Dean to Gravity Falls....we all know what happens next, Sam falls through an inter-dimensional portal and Dean is like “Okay I live here now, gotta figure out how to get Sam back”. Problem is, he only has one journal and needs two more. Where could they possibly be?

Flash-forward about twelve years; cult survivors, podcast hosts, and sorta-siblings Anna and Cas are driving up to Oregon to look at the weird shit present in Gravity Falls/The Mystery Shack and their shitty car breaks down. Cas staying to supervise the car while Anna goes and scopes out some potential material has nothing to do with the hot tourist trap guy who happens to be a mechanic, it doesn’t Anna.

Cue the pilot incident where Anna almost becomes Queen of the Gnomes and Cas gets to drive a golf cart and gnomes are defeated with leaf blowers. Car’s still broken and there is obviously a lot of weird shit going on here so why not hang out for the summer?

More below the cut, including recurring characters and some plot lines

Featuring such recurring characters as:

-Cassie Robinson my beloved, small town writer who desperately wants to break into the big time. Writes a combination of political and social critiques and the standard local stuff. We get introduced to her in the second episode, where Anna and Cas discover that she built the Gobblewonker in attempt for publicity so that someone will read the Gravity Falls Tooter(yes i just made up the name of the town’s newspaper) She regularly appears when Anna and Cas are researching local history or when a robot comes to threaten the Shack because Dean owes her money again.

-Claire, Kaia, Alex, and Patience as the resident teenage nuisances who nominally work at the Shack but actually mostly cause a lot of problems for the local-definitely gay-sheriffs. Claire and Cas are almost definitely related but they don’t know this at first, a minor plot point near the end of season one is figuring out that they are in fact related and the shocking realization that Claire likes Anna better. Anna is pretty good friends with all of them and Cas is minorly terrified, as you should be with teenage girls who live in the woods and absolutely know how to throw knives. Alex being a pyschic is a major plot point of season two especially after they become friends with Kevin and realize that hey, the shit of twelve years ago is happening again except it’s spreading to people who aren’t even involved this time.

-For that matter, collection of pyschics Missouri, Pamela, Alex, and Kevin who regularly find out weird pieces of information that sometimes become plot relevant and sometimes do not at all.

-Jody and Donna who also only do their job nominally because ACAB and mostly just maintain trails and shit around town cause they used to be park rangers but being sheriffs pays more and also they can make sure no one gets arrested for stupid shit. They regularly show up in like the weirdest places which Donna always defends as ‘we’re on a date’. No one questions this.

-Victor Henrikson as the investigating FBI agent in season two who is just like “i don’t know what the fuck is going on here but I KNOW it’s sketchy what is wrong with this town” because yes there is a witch here her name is Rowena and yeah she brews potions and stuff during the full moon no one sees anything wrong with this at all except Henrikson who was prepared to arrest a nutty drifter building a doomsday device but not prepared to deal with a whole town of people who absolutely believe in ghosts. His partner is Billie, who, like in the show, doesn’t think that some people should get to break rules whenever the fuck they want and is thus absolutely ready to rain justice down on this crazy white boy who think’s he’s gonna end the world. I kinda love her perspective cause it’s like, okay just because someone is the protagonist of the story doesn’t mean they’re special.

-Charlie and Ash as the only people in town who get wifi on a regular basis and thus show up when there’s some kind of need for tech or phone calls. Running gag that nothing works tech wise unless one of them is in the vicinity, with the exception of TVs. There is also absolutely the episode where they play a game of D&D in real life and Charlie has never been happier but Dean and Ash absolutely rig it because they suck.

-Bela Talbot in the role of Pacifica Northwest cause she’s a bitch and I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

-Kelly Kline my beloved, who’s the liason for the local Yakama tribe(cause I read a headcanon that she’s Native and that lives in my head rent free baby) who regularly reminds people that certain things are not for you to touch, there’s got to be respect there. This theme stays pretty constant throughout the show cause while after awhile Cas kinda forgets about the podcast he’s supposed to be co-hosting, Anna is still on top of things and trying to collect stories so she and Kelly butt heads a lot while Cas and Jack(who’s like eight) discuss frogs and bees in great detail.

-The Banes twins who comprise the other half of the witch activity in this town and who are very very nice but you do not want to fuck with them whatsoever. They show up extremely often and always give very strange but specific excuses to why they are certain places such as “checking the frequencies of the energy in this location” and that’s a running gag for awhile until it turns out in season 2 that they’ve been aware of the machine Dean’s rebuilding for awhile now and they’re working on protective measures to keep everyone safe no matter what comes out of it this time.

(Also, to compensate for the fact that Sam and Dean are not twins and thus someone would probably realize that there is a different dude living in the weird house in the woods, the Banes go a little Society of the Blind Eye and modified people’s memories. Because they want Dean to get the portal right and then shut it down permanently once things are the way they’re supposed to be again)

-Benny who is absolutely still a vampire, he runs the diner. The vampirism is a well-established fact and no one questions it, in fact Anna finds it hot.

Plot Lines of Season One Include:

-Bela Talbot whom I love attempting to buy/steal/destroy the Shack because she knows there’s some funky machinery down there and a lot of weird artifacts that she could make another fortune selling, yes she summons demons so that she can figure out where the deed to the place is, yes Anna gets to punch her in the face at one point because “These are my friends, you bitch!”

-Cas trying to decipher some of the stuff in Sam’s journals and figure out who the hell wrote them. This involves him thoroughly annoying basically everyone in town except Kelly because they are weird best friends who absolutely have long conversations about the difference between local mythologies and urban legends.

-Anna sincerely making friends for like the first time in her life and deeply enjoying being a kind of weird aunt to the local girl gang and the person who brings Rowena gossip and does have a weird love/hate relationship with Bela going. Like, I mentioned in the beginning that Anna and Cas are cult survivors, their social weirdness and then re-joining the world is absolutely discussed. Are they choosing some of the weirdest people ever to base their social knowledge on? Yes. They don’t care.

-Subplot of Dean genuinely trying to get Cas to go out with him but Cas does not realize this whatsoever so they’re just both awkward as fuck. Running gag of Dean walking up to Cas all smooth and trying to ask him out but Cas just...does not get slang and thinks Netflix and chill really does mean Netflix and chill. They end up watching Wynonna Earp.

#spn gravity falls au #cazi writes #spn #gravity falls #this has lived in my head for five days let me rest #but this is excellent no?#I love it but that may be because i have extremely niche crossover ideas

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afandomroom · 4 years

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Character File: Sage Brooks

Note- This is the updated version of Sage’s initial “Fact File”

Warning- Brief mentions of parent death, death, abandonment, and bullying. Nothing descriptive or angsty, this isn’t a story just a fact file, but I’m adding warnings anyway. Also uh…I know parts of her story might not be...totally believable or even sorta stretched? But trust me when I say this is much better than her original story.

Also also, it's very very long. So..be prepared. Wish there was a way to sum this all up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Full Name- Sage Celia Brooks Birthday- August 15th, 2002/1999 Age: Canon: 18 - 21 Future: 26 - 29 Hometown- Eyton, Northern Ninjago

(Blood) Family- Aster Brooks (father; deceased), Lily Brooks (mother; deceased)

(Found) Family- Asher Woodman (older brother figure), Marion Nettle (younger brother figure)

(Future) Family- Willow Woodman (Niece), Cedar Woodman (Niece), Katlyn Woodman (Sister in law)

Hair- Black, falls to the center of her back, usually pulled into a braid of some form. Eyes- Silver Height- 5”3’ --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sage grew up in a small Northern village by the name of Eyton, a traditional, old fashioned place, where the main income was fish and river crustaceans/mussels.

Sage’s parents moved to Eyton a year before Sage was born, taking an old, partially abandoned house as their own and fixing it to their liking. Aster took a job on the fishing boats, and hunted in the nearby forests both to bring meat home and bring in extra cash. Lily opened a baking business, and sold flowers during festivals.

While there wasn’t any proof of the matter, people of Eyton whispered about how Aster looked suspiciously similar to a man who’d accompanied a gang that’d caused some trouble a few years prior, until a warrior had chased them off.

Again, without proof they couldn’t hold a trial or even attempt to kick him and his slowly growing family out, but that didn’t stop the villagers from turning up their noses and even encouraging their kids to stay away from Sage and her parents.

Despite her social isolation, Sage was a very sweet child, who always tried to be nice to her classmates despite feeling that they hated her. She wasn’t blind to the way adults acted whenever she walked through town with her father.

When she was seven years old, one of the town’s fishermen was found dead on shore, an arrow sticking out from his skull. Aster was the only notable archer in town, and it was noted that he’d had an argument with the man a few nights prior. Given his possible prior gang affiliations, he was placed under house arrest until a proper trial could be put together.

The trial would be put off when an illness, deadly to adults (when left untreated) but nonlethal for children under seventeen, swept through the village. Lily caught said illness, and despite Aster’s attempts to take care of her, refusal from the village to treat her and inevitably Aster himself led to both of their deaths.

After burying both her parents within the same week, Sage was kicked from the village after a mostly unanimous decision.

For two years Sage wandered about alone, until she came to a village with a stone wolf statue in the center.

On her third day there, she was cornered by a group of town kids, who taunted her and pushed her around until another street kid, a boy with white hair and blue eyes, stepped in and fought of the bullies.

He only spent a few seconds checking to make sure Sage was ok, before turning to walk off by himself, determined to remain alone.

Within that same week, a skeleton horde attacked the village. Sage was quick to find an elevated porch to hide under, hoping she could wait out the raid.

This was when she spotted the white haired boy running, assumedly from the skeletons. Thinking quickly, she grabbed him and dragged him under the porch before he could be spotted.

After what felt like hours of awkward silence between them, the boy introduced himself as Asher and the two ended up spending the night under the porch. They decided to stick together afterwards, Asher stating that they’d be partners, looking out for each other to survive.

Sage would grow to care very much for Asher (platonically and soon in a familial way), and while Asher felt the same, he struggled to come to terms with caring for someone other than himself for a long time.

When Sage was eleven, Asher managed to…find a job. A thief named Ronin offered to hire them for help on a job. Despite Sage feeling the job betrayed her morals, she didn’t was Asher to do the job alone, and so, she agreed to join.

And this was the beginning of Sage’s long life of crime. As they got older, their names were spread around more and more, and soon a steady enough flow of money began to come in.

As time went on, certain events started to change Sage’s overall demeanor and personality. At the beginning of her teenage years, anxiety and general depression ran rampant. By sixteen, an apathy started to overtake her. She started losing touch with the caring, over all happy girl she’d once been.

During the SOG takeover, Sage became a target for UV’s wanted list after shooting some of the gang members. (Reason has yet to be determined). She caught the attention of Mr.E while running over the rooftops, and miraculously escaped with few injuries.

Sometime, early on in the takeover itself, Sage was traveling across the rooftops when she found a boy cornered by SOG members. She didn’t hesitate to shoot the gang members in the head with her bow, only realizing later that there may have been a more merciful way to deal with them.

After learning that the boy didn’t have a place to go, she brought him with her to the apartment she shared with Asher at the time. He would introduce himself as Marion.

Something about the rescue inspired her, and from there she would do her best to save other targets of the SOG for the remainder of the takeover.

This was the start of a change in Sage, one that would reconnect her with herself. She started caring more, smiling again, thinking of different ways out of situations than just...shooting first. She felt severe guilt, but she also felt a form of freedom. She realigned her morals.

Sage would do her best in the years that followed to provide Marion with a better life than her own, and would become a main supporter in his journey to master his element and become one of Ninjago’s protectors.

Three years later, Sage ended hiding a young man with a green streak of hair from a team of muggers. Deciding to take a risk, she invited the strange man to their home. She wouldn’t let him know that she recognized him as the Morro until a week or so later.

While Morro never joined in the thieving business, he did freelance with lifting and loading jobs to pull his weight. He’d also become Marion’s mentor later on. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the future- Eventually, Sage would leave the crime life. The guilt of her actions and belief that her parents would be sorely disappointed in the way she’d led her life drove her to quit.

She would never turn herself in, instead running a branch tea shop with a close friend, volunteering and donating when and where she can as an attempt to give back.

She’d continue to be a supportive and loving figure in her brothers’ lives. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season by Season:

- Season 1- Sage meets Asher Sage and Asher were in a village that was attacked by the Skeleton Horde She was in Jamanakai with Asher when Lloyd first attempted to raid the place for candy. She was going to offer to help him snag some candy, but got scared off when the ninja arrived.

- Season 2- Sage and Asher continue their partnership, their loyalty and trust has grown quite a bit.

- Season 3- Sage and Asher begin their lives in crime.

One of the jobs Ronin hired them for was keeping an eye out while he grabbed Zane.

- Season 4- They were in one of the villages attacked by Chen’s cultists.

- Season 5- Asher and Sage officially refer to each other as siblings.

They were in Styx when the ninja attempted to steal from Ronin. Sage saw them leaping across the roofs.

- Season 6- With the ninja’s rise in fame, stealing becomes both harder and easier. On one hand, they’re too busy to come after them. On the other, cops were alerting the Ninja to every crime. Sage and Asher end up laying low.

- Season 7- When Borg disappears, Sage and Asher are given the job of stealing his tech.

- Season 8- Sage and Asher are offered a job by Harumi, but they ultimately turn it down.

- Season 9 – Sage is wanted by the SOG, saves Marion, and begins fighting against the SOG.

- Season 10- Sage, Asher, and Marion hide in an underground bunker during the oni attack. This is when they meet Jerome Rune and Calvin Rune.

Season 11- Sage, Asher, and Marion were not in the city during Aspheera’s attack. Rather, they were trying to remove Marion’s vengestone cuffs. They spent the rest of the season try to help Marion with his abilities.

- Season 12- The minute Sage hears about the video game linked disappearances, she drags the boys away from the city and to a rural village. Girl isn’t taking any chances.

Later that year, Sage meets Morro

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Facts: - Her father taught her the archery basics; she chose to learn how to shoot and uses a bow as her primary weapon because of her father’s prowess with the weapon. - She taught Marion and Asher’s daughters how to use a bow. - Has callused fingers from archery. - Can throw knives like a boss. - She does know a few things about fighting, but it’s not her strong suit and she prefers long range and dodging to melee and hand to hand combat. - Her favorite tea is Passion flower, and her favorite food is puffy pot stickers(or just pot stickers in general) - She has a kill count of 27, and is very closed off when asked about it. - She can pick locks relatively well, including handcuff locks and jail cell locks. - Like Asher, she is notorious for breaking out of holding cells and police custody. - Every year since she was 14, she visits Eyton to update her parents on her life and apologize for the life she is living. - Learned to drive a car and ride a motorcycle at 15. A fellow thief for hire taught Asher and Sage. - Built/repurposed her motorcycle, Asher’s motorcycle, and their pickup by herself. - Her motorcycle is her baby and if you break it she will break you. - Impulse drives her motorcycle when incredibly stressed. - Taught herself mechanics and medical stuff - Got all of her education from libraries, everything she knows about math, history, etc. is self taught - She was 17 when she got her first tattoos. - In total she has four tattoos. A raven carrying a hyacinth on her back, vines around her right arm, an ace flag yin yang on her left, and Edelweiss around a knife in a currently undetermined location. - Each tattoo has some varying form of significance. - She picked up roof running to help with jobs, it became a hobby later on - Tried to teach herself guitar, but they moved around too much for her to focus on it. - Family is everything to her. - A sign that you have her full trust you is that she becomes willing to be more...physical around you. Nudging your arm, playful punches and shoves, hugs, hair ruffling. She also won’t freeze or tense up if you grab her suddenly. -Basically she becomes notably less awkward and anxious, and wary around you. - She is fiercely loyal, and will stay by your side even if it means she might die. - Very tired and frequently has nightmares. Anxiety and guilt also prevents sleep. - Has to have a knife on her person at all times in order to feel safe; even in her own home and while she sleeps. - Crystal necklace is from a friend, a reminder that she isn’t alone and that she has people there for her. - Various scars, each with their own story. - Most people don’t assume Sage is a criminal when they first meet her.

#Oc//Sage #Ninjago #Ninjago oc #Oc Files #Aries posts #Ninjago Sage

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starryknight09 · 4 years

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Unforeseen dangers ch. 6

Summary: As Peter recovers from his capture by Ross, a photo of him with Tony and the Avengers leaks and is splashed all across the media. Luckily, no one can figure out who he is and everyone thinks the buzz will die down. However, the public’s interest has been ignited. While Tony worries it’s only a matter of time before Peter’s identity is exposed, Peter isn’t as concerned. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen anyway?

Read on AO3.

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“Merry Christmas!” Tony said the second Peter walked into the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The delicious smell emanating from the kitchen had woken him up and eventually enticed him to leave the sleepy comfort of his warm bed.

“Merry Christmas.” He said back with a smile. His dad’s joy was infectious. He plopped down on one of the kitchen stools and watched as Tony finished making pancakes.

“How’d you sleep?” Tony glanced over at him and smirked at his impressive bed head.

“Good.” He shrugged. He’d had another nightmare about Ross, but it hadn’t been terrible, and he’d been able to fall asleep right afterward, so he didn’t think Tony needed to know about it. He didn’t want to risk upsetting him on Christmas.

Tony flipped the pancake off the pan and piled it on top of five others already stacked on a plate. Before pouring the batter for the next pancake, he placed the plate in front of Peter, along with the maple syrup. “Here. Breakfast is served.”

“Festive.” Peter commented with a smile. The pancakes had green and red sprinkles intermixed in the batter.

“Tis the season.” Tony said and turned back to the stove.

Peter shook his head in amusement and couldn’t help but ask through a mouthful of pancake, “So once Christmas is over are you going to stop wearing that god awful hat or are you planning on dressing as Santa full time?”

The corner of Tony’s mouth turned up as he patted the Santa hat perched on top of his head as if he’d forgotten it was there. “What? This thing? I suppose it’ll have to go back into retirement until next Christmas. I don’t think I have the gut or the facial hair to pull off the Saint Nick thing.”

“Hmm.” Peter cocked his head to the side and eyed his dad up and down as if considering it.

“Not funny.” Tony waved the batter covered spatula at him and went back to his pancakes. “Keep it up and just see if you get any presents from Santa.”

Peter twisted in his stool to glance into the living room. “Huh. Looks like he already came and left all the presents.”

Bright, holiday themed packages overflowed under the tree. Peter really hoped they weren’t all for him. If they were, it was way too much.

“Yeah well Santa giveth so Santa can taketh away.” Tony joked and flipped the pancake in front of him.

Peter had purchased only a couple of presents that were under the tree. The big one he’d gotten for his dad wasn’t there yet. The papers declaring his new name, that Pepper had handed to him a few days ago, still sat wrapped in shiny red paper tied in gold ribbon underneath his bed.

“Those aren’t all for me, are they?” He asked after he swallowed his next bite, the plate of pancakes in front of him almost half gone already.

“You’ll have to see.” Tony answered cryptically with a smug smile.

He shook his head. “That’s too much.”

“Hey if I want to spoil my kid that’s my prerogative. And since this is our first Christmas together, I had a lot of Christmases I missed that I had to make up for.”

“So you went overboard.” Peter sighed in resignation.

“Maybe just a little.” Tony turned the stove off and took his plate with a measly two pancakes over to the stool next to Peter, ruffling his hair as he walked by. “But don’t worry. They’re not all for you. Some of them are for the team.”

“Good.”

“But most of them are for you.”

Peter groaned.

Tony went back to eating his pancakes with a self satisfied smirk.

Peter knew arguing about the presents would be pointless, so he didn’t even try. “So, what’s the plan for today?” He asked instead.

Tony finished the bite of pancake in his mouth and answered, “Well first, I thought we’d have this amazing breakfast I slaved over.”

Peter snorted.

“And then we can open some presents.” Tony grinned. “Everyone wants to do a big Christmas dinner thing tonight, but until then, we have the day to ourselves to do whatever you want. I probably should’ve asked you this earlier, but did you and May have any traditions you want to celebrate?”

“Like what?” He asked, curious instead of hurt by the mention of his aunt.

“Like, do I need to change into a suit and have FRIDAY find a church nearby for us to go to?” His dad asked jokingly but Peter could tell he meant it.

“Oh.” He shook his head. “No. We didn’t do anything like that.”

“Ok.” Tony gave him a nod but seemed to be waiting for him to say more.

“Um, usually we’d open most of our presents on Christmas Eve, but there were a few we’d open on Christmas morning. From Santa.” He clarified. Even after he’d gotten old enough to know Santa wasn’t real, May and Ben had refused to give up the tradition so Peter had started giving them small presents ‘from Santa’ as well, no matter how much they complained that he shouldn’t.

Tony’s face twisted. “Sorry kid. I should’ve asked about all this stuff earlier. We could’ve opened presents last night.”

“No, it’s fine.” Peter reassured him. He didn’t mind. He actually kind of liked that they were doing things a little differently. It made it easier. “Last night was fun. I’ve never made Christmas cookies before.”

Tony still had a look on his face like he’d just eaten something sour, but he nodded. “Ok. What else do you usually do?”

“Oh. Well, after presents, we’d eat breakfast, and then we’d just sit around the apartment and watch Christmas movies all day.” He shrugged. “And we’d eat cookies, store bought ones, and hot chocolate and stuff. Sometimes we’d play board games.” His brow furrowed slightly as he just remembered that. “But we kind of did that more when Ben was around.”

“Eating junk food and watching movies sounds like exactly the kind of thing I can do.” Tony nodded and went back to eating his pancakes.

“I mean we don’t have to do that.” Peter said, pushing the last pieces of syrup doused pancake around on his plate.

“Ok. Do you want to do something else?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.” Tony gave him a one shoulder shrug and kept eating. “Whatever you want kiddo.”

Peter pushed the pancake mush around some more and thought about it. There wasn’t anything he could think of that he wanted to do.

“What did you use to do for Christmas?” He asked.

“Me?” Tony let out a dark chuckle. “Back before I had myself more together, you don’t want to know. It wasn’t exactly PG-13 friendly and it wasn’t happy.”

Peter’s felt his cheeks heat. That wasn’t what he’d meant. He was very aware of the escapades his dad used to get up to before he became Ironman and turned his life around.

“No that’s not… I meant when you were a kid. Did your family have any traditions?” He tried not to shrink back from asking the question. Tony never talked about his parents, and Rhodey and a few of the others had made enough vague comments here and there for Peter to catch on to the fact that Tony hadn’t had the most idyllic childhood.

“When I was a kid…” Tony mumbled to himself as he considered it. Peter thought he looked thoughtful instead of irritated, so the question didn’t seem to have been a mistake. “When I was really young sometimes my mom’s parents would visit since my dad didn’t have any family left. But by the time I was ten or so they were both gone, so it’d either be just the three of us at home, or we’d jet off somewhere for a vacation. Mom liked to do that. If we were at home, though, we’d have breakfast and then my mom would drag us to the morning church service. She was Italian, and very Catholic.” Tony paused to give him a smile.

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. Dad and I hated going ,but we did it for her. She used to tell us we were lucky she wasn’t making us go to midnight mass.” Tony let out a short laugh. “I remember I hated having to dress up on a day that was supposed to be a holiday. And I was always starving because we didn’t eat breakfast until we got back home. And then we’d open presents.” Tony paused to take another bite of pancakes and he shook his head. “That’s one thing I can say. There was never any shortage of presents.”

Peter nodded. He could imagine.

“And then we’d usually go to the sitting room and Dad would read, and I’d mess with some new toy or gadget, and my mom would play the piano. Christmas music usually. And sometimes she’d make me play.”

“You play the piano?” Peter asked, surprised.

“Yeah.” Tony smiled, and it looked like he was trying not to laugh at him. “You didn’t know that?”

“No.” He frowned. “You don’t even own a piano. Do you?” He glanced around the room as if it were possible his dad actually had a piano and he’d just never noticed it before.

Tony chuckled. “No, I don’t anymore, but I used to. At the house in Malibu. It was a nice one.”

Peter figured it was probably more than nice. Everything Tony owned was ungodly expensive, and Peter had heard of pianos that cost upwards of $50,000. Flash’s dad had gotten one for his mom for some anniversary and Flash hadn’t stopped bragging about it for a week.

Tony quirked his head to the side as if just remembering something. “But then I threw it at a helicopter.”

“What?” He asked in surprise.

“And then the house got destroyed.” Tony continued, patting syrup from his mouth with a napkin. “And I never replaced it.” He finished with a shrug.

Peter blinked, trying to take all that in. He had to be talking about the attack the Mandarin had made on his house. Well, not actually the Mandarin, but the tech guy pretending to be the Mandarin. But that’d been a long time ago.

“Why not?” He asked. If he could play the piano, he couldn’t imagine not having one around, especially if he were someone like Tony who had the space for it and could definitely afford it.

“I just never got around to it.”

Peter’s eyebrows pinched together. He sensed there might be something more to it than that but he didn’t want to push.

“Ok… So, can we get a piano now?”

Tony blinked. “Do you play?”

“No. I always wanted to learn but it was too expensive. It’d be cool to listen to you, though.”

His dad’s expression softened and he gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll teach you.”

“Oh no, you don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“Ok.” He agreed quietly with a small smile.

“Then how about this? Next year you can play me some Christmas songs.”

His smile widened. “I don’t know if I’ll be good enough by then.”

“Sure you will.”

“Ok but only if you play too.”

A slight shadow seemed to cross his dad’s face even as he smiled. “Deal.”

“It can be our new tradition.” Peter added, remembering how they got on the topic of the piano in the first place. “Along with Christmas sprinkle pancakes.” He shoved the last soggy piece into his mouth. “Mmm.”

“Good, huh?” Tony finished the remaining couple bites of his own stack.

“Delicious.”

“So, presents and then movies on the couch?” Tony suggested as he took their plates to the dishwasher. “You sure there’s nothing else you want to do?”

He thought about it again. He just wanted to spend time with his dad. His family. It was what Christmas was all about. May and Ben had drilled that into him when he’d been younger and as he’d gotten older he’d realized the truth of it on his own. Even though he’d lost so many people in his family, he still had a family. A group of people that might not be related to him, but genuinely cared about him just the same. And he had a dad that loved him. Not everyone had that at Christmas. He considered himself lucky.

“Wait. I know what I want to do.” He said as the idea struck him.

“What?”

“Do you think we could go to some group homes and do a meet and greet with the kids? Maybe hand out some presents?”

“You and me?”

“Ironman and Spiderman.” He clarified. He knew going out as Tony and Peter right now wouldn’t work since they were supposed to be keeping their father son relationship secret.

Tony’s brow furrowed as he considered it.

“I know it’s really last minute, and I guess I don’t even know where we’d get the presents…”

“That’s not the problem.”

“Ok. Um, what is?”

“If it’s just you and me and somehow in the future the press finds out about us, it wouldn’t take much for them to connect you to Spiderman, especially if they catch us out together on Christmas day.”

“Oh. I didn’t think of that.” It kind of bothered him that he hadn’t. Honestly, he hadn’t been as worried about the whole press thing lately. It’d died down and he figured if they just keep being careful then no one would ever find out Tony had adopted him.

“Let me see if anyone else on the team wants to tag along.” Tony suggested, pulling out his phone to shoot off some texts. “We can even pair off and go to different group homes, so it’ll still be me and you, but this way it won’t be as suspicious if anything ever comes up.”

“That sounds good.” Peter nodded.

Once Tony finished texting, he stared at him with a warm twinkle in his eyes.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re a good kid.”

Peter shrugged and looked over his shoulder at the tree to cover his blush. He still wasn’t good at taking compliments. “So…presents?” He asked with an eager smile.

“Presents.” Tony agreed with a nod.

“This is too much.” Peter said for what felt like the millionth time as he finished opening his last present. “You got me way too much stuff.”

“I’ve never heard a kid complain so much about getting presents. Is this normal? I don’t think it’s normal. Do I need to have you checked out?”

Peter rolled his eyes.

“Do you like it?” Tony asked with a grin that’d been plastered to his face ever since Peter had started opening presents.

“I love it.” Peter turned over the Star Wars Super Star Destroyer Lego box in his hands, examining the picture on the front. “But it’s still too much.”

Peter put it down and glanced over at the rest of his present haul, trying to keep his head from spinning. Sometimes he forgot his dad was a literal billionaire but this had reminded him. Tony had gotten him not one, but three, really expensive Lego sets along with the newest Playstation video game console that hadn’t even been released on the market yet, some video games to go with it, more nice clothes than he knew what to do with, a pair of sunglasses that looked like they cost more than his entire wardrobe, and a brand new laptop.

“Just let me spoil you this time. I’ll do better next year.”

Peter snorted. “Yeah right.”

He set the Lego box down by the others and stood from his spot on the floor to walk over to the couch to give his dad a hug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome kid.”

“Sorry I didn’t really get you much. You’re really hard to buy for.”

“I love everything you got me. Don’t worry.” Tony gave him a squeeze and patted his back.

“Um, actually I have one more present for you.” Peter said, pulling away from the hug.

“Oh did I miss one?” Tony glanced back over at the tree.

“No. It’s not under the tree. It’s in my room. Let me go get it.” He bounded off the couch to his room, excitement warring with nerves.

“A secret present you had to hide from me? Now I’m definitely intrigued.” Tony called out after him.

Peter laughed even as his heart started to race, nerves winning out. It took no time at all to grab the gift adorned in red and gold from under his bed and bring it back out to the living room. He deposited it onto Tony’s lap with little fanfare, just an insecure smile, before sitting down on the couch next to his dad.

“First of all, I love the wrap job. Why didn’t you do all my presents in my color scheme?” Tony joked, clearly trying to lessen Peter’s anxiety.

“Because they’re not Christmas colors, and this one’s not just a Christmas present. I mean it is…but it isn’t.” Peter tried not to trip over his words as he explained.

“Now I’m even more curious.” Tony eyed the present in his lap.

“Open it.”

Tony pulled the ribbon off, flipped the present over and slid a finger through the crease of wrapping paper taped together at the back. Peter swallowed hard as his dad removed the paper from the simple thin white box. Tony glanced up at him briefly before he lifted the lid off. He quirked his head in confusion at the sight of the stack of papers.

“This looks like something Pepper would give me for Christmas.” He joked and then started pulling the papers out of the box. “What do we have here?”

“Um it’s…” Peter trailed off as he took the papers and flipped them to the end part where it would be clearer to his dad, skipping over all the other wordy legalese. He handed the papers back and pointed. “Read this part.”

Tony frowned but studied the papers in his hand as Peter studied him. He could tell the exact moment his dad realized what the papers meant. His eyebrows flew up and his mouth opened in shock as his head whipped over to look at him.

“Peter.” Tony said and Peter didn’t know if it was a good or a bad thing that he sounded gutted. Hopefully good.

“Do you like it? I um—”

Before he could say anything else, Tony wrapped an arm around him and pulled him into his chest, kissing the top of his head roughly. “I love it. I can’t even tell you how much I love it. But kid, you didn’t have to do this.”

Peter pulled back a little so he could look up at him, and he could see his dad was tearing up. “I know. I wanted to.”

“It’s… I…” Tony shook his head when he couldn’t figure out what to say.

“Wow. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you speechless before.” Peter teased, nerves receding because he’d obviously done a good job with the present. He hadn’t overstepped.

Tony looked back down at the papers in his hands and read the name printed there. “Peter Parker Stark. It has a nice ring to it.”

“That’s what Pepper said.”

“Pepper helped you?”

“Yeah she was great. She actually had to sneak some of the pages in for you to sign when she gave you some other SI paperwork. Good thing you never read anything, right? Um, I hope that was ok…”

“It’s more than ok.” Tony smiled at him, eyes crinkling at the corners, still shining with unshed tears.

“Good because you are seriously hard to buy for.”

Tony laughed.

“Now I really am your son.” He teased.

Tony wrapped him back up in a hug. “You were already my son, with or without my name.”

“Yeah I know.” And he did. “But it’s still kind of nice, isn’t it?”

“Very.” Tony kissed his hair again. “I love you kid.”

“I love you too.”

“Best Christmas present ever.”

“Good.” Peter smiled and closed his eyes as he relaxed into Tony’s side.

Tony gave him another loving squeeze with the arm he had draped across his shoulders. “Merry Christmas kid.”

“Merry Christmas Dad.”

#unforeseen dangers #ch 6

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