#bad movie review

[theloo0segoo0se]

the wild robot is a really good movie

it’s fairly violent, true, but it shows how one person can make a real difference and positively impact a community. it has diversity, love, mismatched families, it’s just really good!

the violence is all things that you would expect in real life (it’s animals, predators vs prey) (characters do die but it’s generally extras and it’s handled well if you watch the entirety- unlike a lot of the reviewers online who left without watching the full movie and then complained about it)

themes/tropes: found family, grumpy father/brother figure x sunshine, hope in dire circumstances, overcoming struggles through community (power of friendship)

(i guess it’s really the power of believing in yourself and others against all odds)

[justaninternetgal]

THE NEGATIVE MOVIE SCALE

Inspired by JelloApocalypse, I judge bad movies on a negative scale. The lower the negative number, the more ironic enjoyment you get out of it. So far, I have watched:

Liar, Liar, Vampire (2015). A -10/10. The best film ever made, and nothing will change my mind. Baron Von Awesome is the best character ever made, and you just need to watch it yourself to find out. Please, watch it. They cast a 40 year okd woman to play the main character’s high school love interest 💀

My Babysitter’s a Vampire (2010). A -9/10. Not as bad as Liar, Liar, Vampire, but nonetheless fucking amazing. The scenes that always stick out in my head are the dad’s cowboy walk, the sudden reveal that the grandma is fucking magic and magic is very real for some reason that just gets thrusted in like the 3rd act and they never elaborate, the scene where one of the kids falls facefirst on concrete, and of course, the many different versions of “Babezilla” and Babeatron 5000”, etc. Apparently there’s a followuo TV series, I need to watch that. Weird that both the movies I watched on this scale are cashing in on Twilightmania.

Will gradually update with reblogs

[youreonyourown-kid]

Okay I just saw The Substance. I don’t even.. I can’t..I…

What the fuck was that.

[cococowboah]

explaining "The Revival" badly

So I been on a big queer movies binge lately trying to get some inspiration going for my next book and I came across this one called "The Revival" and it's been a week since I've watched it and I'm still fucking thinking about it because of how fucked the ending was.

Spoilers of course in case you haven't seen this possibly obscure ass movie that's available free on Tubi right now but anyways.

Starts off with this young Preacher Dude, he's cute, his wife is pregnant, he's got your typical southern Baptist lifestyle, he's got a friend, AA Guy who's constantly stepping on his toes and trying to take over the church. Turns out that guys got an alcohol problem hence the name AA Guy but anyways moving on.

Preacher Bro meets this sexy young Drifter Dude who shows up to the church for a meal, Drifter Dude is like "you got nice hands" and without even knowing that this is technically a gay romance you know these two are gonna bang EVENTUALLY.

Preacher Bro keeps getting asked if incest is biblically wrong because there's this guy who really wants to bang his cousin. Like REALLY wants to bang his cousin. More on that later. For now we'll refer to him as McCousin Fucker. Preacher Bro is like "well just find out if incest is illegal in our state and we'll go from there."

Drifter Dude comes back and Preacher Bro is like "hey I got a place for you to stay if you want it," Preacher Bro lets Drifter Dude stay in his dead preacher dad's cabin.

This is kind of a big deal because Preacher Bro is constantly living in his dad's shadow. His dad started their church and he feels like he'll never live up to his dad's way of leading the congregation. Add into it he's a closeted gay man and yeah, it's looking like his congregation wants him replaced. His reputation, his "career" if you will, is completely on the line here, and AA Guy from earlier is really trying to drill it into them that they need to have a revival (hey that's the name of the movie!) to get people to come back to the church and see that he's a good leader, though what it really looks like is AA Guy wants to take over the church entirely.

Preacher Bro and Drifter Dude start getting really close, and they got HEAPS of chemistry. They're honestly really sweet together. Preacher Bro is doing Drifter Dude's hair, he puts a bandaid on his booboo, helps him make his bed, and Drifter Dude is like "kiss me you fool" but Preacher Bro is like "but Jesus 🥺."

But eventually they do kiss, and they bang, and it's HAWT. And Preacher Bro is suddenly a new man. He's smoking cigarettes, he's listening to things other than his dad's old recorded sermons in the car, he's enjoying life and getting laid and loving it.

Meanwhile McCousin Fucker is like "Its not legal to marry my cousin but I still wanna fuck her," and Preacher Bro is like "dude."

And AA Guy is like "I wanna drink again, but my daughter"

And Preacher Bro is like "I really like this guy, but God???"

And Drifter Dude starts making meth.

Fast Forward a bit, we're reaching the climax. Wife of Preacher Bro finds out about her husband banging Drifter Dude. She goes to confront him while Preacher Bro gets drunk and starts driving around asking Jesus for a sign that he's not supposed to be banging Drifter Dude.

Wifey tells Drifter Dude a story about an owl she rescued, but the owl didn't wanna fly away when it was healthy again, so it died. She basically uses this story as a threat to Drifter Dude. Drifter Dude is like "I love your husband, m8, I ain't going nowhere."

Wifey is like "alright, fine." Walks out of the cabin and says to AA Guy who's been standing outside the door to "take care of him."

AA Guy starts beating up poor Drifter Dude, completely knocks the shit out of him and ties him up. Has McCousin Fucker come in to keep an eye on him for the night, they plan to stick him on a bus in the morning.

Meanwhile Preacher Bro thinks Jesus has finally given him a sign, he hits and kills a deer on the road, and starts heading for the cabin afterwards.

So I'm sitting here at the tail end of the movie thinking "Awh, Preacher Bro is gonna go save his man 🥰🥰🥰"

LET ME TELL YOU MY FRIENDS.

I was HIGHLY DECEIVED.

Preacher Bro goes into the cabin, tells McCousin Fucker to get out.

I'm still thinking "Daw he loves him he's gonna save him this is so sweet."

And I'm highly anticipating their "fly off into the sunset on a white pegasus" moment.

McCousin Fucker leaves, presumably to go fuck his cousin.

Preacher Bro

Lights a FUCKING. MATCH.

And now I don't know what to expect.

Is he gonna use the match to burn the ropes off? Seems like a bad way to-

NOPE HE'S SETTING THE CABIN ON FIRE.

MCCOUSIN FUCKER IS FUCKING HIS COUSIN.

AA GUY IS DRINKING WHISKEY WHILE WATCHING HIS DAUGHTER SLEEP.

AND PREACHER BRO IS SETTING FIRE TO THE CABIN HIS BOYFRIEND IS LAYING UNCONSCIOUS IN.

And of course, he gets away with it.

Because Drifter Dude was making meth, so it could probably be reasoned he set off an explosion.

Preacher Bro gets away with it and finally becomes the stone cold preacher his daddy was.

The end.

Holy.

Fuck.

Honestly, it was an incredible movie. I loved it.

But the ending, holy fucking hell.

Why do high quality gay movies always have to end so fucking SAD???

[notearsnora]

Best WICKED review EVER.

[jackofallnerdsshow]

I watched A Karate Christmas Miracle so you don’t have to.  Merry Christmas!

[froggieetmblr]

one of my fav scenes idc

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

So anyway, about the critics and the audience score...

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

Borderlands movie poster with some of my favourite single line reviews

[kcrabb88]

I feel like we really lost something when we started looking at writing as a reader-centric product meant to appeal to the desires of a specific audience rather than a writer-centric approach of someone writes whatever particular thing particular compels them/whatever weird thing the demons in their head want to talk about, and people out there who are also compelled, and/or relate, find that writing. A lot of discussions of writing really center around what readers want rather than a writer's exploration. Sometimes as a reader I don't know what I want. I click on a fic or pick up a book I'm not sure about but that looks interesting, and I love it. Reading what I expect to get is it's own joy, but we always need to expand our horizons and not get mad at creators for not always writing what we want/expect.

[theloo0segoo0se]

i was wrong fantastic mr fox is actually a really good movie

i’m sorry to everyone i’ve been ranting to about how bad the movie was, i have been basing my opinion off of my 17 year old self’s only time watching the movie and i hated it then but i watched it again the other day for the october vibes and it’s actually excellent. i had a Good Time.

[sapphicola]

My new hobby is going through scream reviews on letterboxd here’s some of my favs

[psykopaths]

The Killer (2023)

Dir - David Fincher

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Okay, so I watched Inside Out 2 at like 5 am this morning. And I have to say that the movie isn’t bad! I just expected more to happen. Like Riley having a crush on a boy from her hockey team or something? And maybe add more to the girls that were gossiping about her?

I just feel like they could’ve added a bit more to the story to develop her character even more. Makes me wonder if we’ll get an Inside Out 3 or something.

Have any of you seen Inside Out 2? If so, what did you think about it? And what stuff would you add in if you could?

I have to say, my favorite emotion is Joy. She’s a very complex character and I loved her character development in this! She seems to understand the good and the bad side of things, which is why she’s one of my favorite characters. ♥️

[panneshirley]

every movie I watched in 2024:

The Half of It dir. Alice Wu, 2020