#and by sucks I mean “Ow. Ow this is going to hurt. But good job writer people. But ow.”

[cave-monkey]

Monkey King 2009 Episode 11

Ohhhh I really liked this one.

First, I have to say it, comparing the four generals now to Episode 1, they have come a long way. At least in regards to the tactical side of their jobs (they should still not at all be directly responsible for children). When they thought the enemy had found their camp and were closing in, they were on their shit. Marshal Ma was snapping out orders immediately, no one was contradicting anyone else or squabbling or anything, and it was definitely a Sign Of Growth.

Or the major and repeated servings of humble pie they've been swallowing recently. Active war will probably do that to you, especially when you can't blame your scapegoat for your failures after you ran him off.

Also once again showcasing their highly conditional displays of respect and goodwill. Stone Monkey pops back up with Six Ears and he's being called a "Little Hero" now, huh? You literally drove him out of the troop to his possible death and didn't care much at all not that long ago, my guys. We all saw you. You can't fool us.

And, eyyyy, Six Ears. Buddy. Bud.

Oh no.

I can see where it's coming from, is the thing. He used to be the kid pulling off the stupidly risky feats and being praised and rewarded for it. "Earning his place". The sacrificial lamb to Stone Monkey's scapegoat. Neither is a great role to be filling, but Six Ears doesn't know that, and the life of a sacrificial lamb probably still looks a whole heck of a lot better when you're looking at it from the place of the scapegoat. And now it looks like Stone Monkey's taking his place, right, and without that...where does he fit? He knows how conditional the approval of the four generals is, and at the start of the series he dealt with their hot-and-cold reception of him by flippantly ignoring it, but he did experience it. Stone Monkey has had it "worse", but Six Ears isn't so far removed from it that he can't easily imagine himself being in Stone Monkey's place, I'd think. So it's no real wonder he's territorial of his "place" in the troop, feels like the four generals', the troop's, (and possible Old Monkey King's) regard is a finite resource, and reacts badly to feeling like it's all being "stolen". Jealousy is rooted in insecurity, and Six Ears has absolute heaps of that.

And speaking of insecurity, it's also worth noting that he keeps continuously being captured and having his autonomy and ability to protect himself removed, over and over and over again, and this time he was almost tortured. By having his ears cut off while he was tied down and unable to fight back. We don't know how long it took the kids to track down the troop again, but since we're meant to assume the entirety of the surviving troop made it to the cave, the commanders would have needed to have at least enough to time to track the scattered groups down. In that case I'd imagine this is several days later at least, but still only days. Maybe a week or two at most. Six Ears probably hasn't had the time to really process what almost happened to him, but it would still be there in his head. He also, unfortunately, didn't have a whole lot of agency in his own rescue either, so that lack of control, that lack of feeling like he can keep himself safe, and shame at his own helplessness has got to be eating him alive. Take the above belief that he needs to earn his troop's support or risk losing it entirely with the fact it's very unlikely this kid has actually felt safe anytime in a very long time, not since the Demon King's incursions first really started honestly, and Six Ears is definitely not going to be doing well. So double up that insecurity and set it on fire with a heaping spoonful of desperation and you probably have Six Ears's emotional state right now.

*sigh*

He's definitely going to pull some shit, basically.

And holy cow someone actually called General Beng out on his pretentious language. General Ba was NOT having it. I actually almost kinda felt bad for General Beng. He's just trying to make his report, starts tripping over his literary references, and General Ba comes out swinging immediately. "Come ON. Do you think we have the time for you to be pulling out this grandparent talk?! SIT DOWN." And General Beng is like "):".

Like, harsh, General Ba. Fair! But dang. It wasn't the time at all, but General Beng trying to comfort himself by falling back on his quotes and poetry was actually kind of, I don't know, sad. Everyone is just really upset here. General Beng's trying to self-soothe, General Ba is lashing out, and the Marshals are...uh...dissociating back there? (Hey, actually, yeah, Marshals, why are you letting your generals struggle through delivering this very important report to the king instead of doing it for them? Or swooping in at least, when they fumble? What do you even DO?)

And I'm not 100% sure, but General Ba also seems to make a pun on General Beng's stuttering over 此乃 (fancy schmancy "this is")? Or at least that's how I read it, and it kind of made me laugh. Honestly my Chinese isn't good enough to catch most wordplay, so I could also be barking up the wrong tree entirely, in which case, don't mind me. I'm still gonna giggle at it, though. (General Beng: "This g-, uh, This g-" General Ba: "This GRANDMA.")

General Ba even liked that turn of phrase so much he repeated it again later. Poor General Beng will never be able to use his beloved 此 in General Ba's hearing ever again without having "How's it feel being a GRANDMA" yelled at him immediately.

But honestly, General Ba is pulling zero punches here. He's genuinely rattled, since he's finishing General Beng's report for him by going, "Look, fancy language or no fancy language, all I know is we took everyone to the back of the mountain and the enemy was already there. They are everywhere. We have nowhere to go and we are fucking dead." He also has this really haunted look to him. General Beng is only the first casualty. General Ba has looked death in the eyes and is going a bit feral about it. No one is safe.

Plus that one monkey soldier coming back and breaking down in tears because "the monkeys without weapons are getting the worst of it...they had to run away."

"Run away". Right.

Listen, guys. Just say they died. We understand.

I'm actually noticing this cartoon is fine with having soldiers screaming KILL THEM ALL with no hesitation, graphic death threats abound, but they don't like admitting anyone actually died. Especially not the monkeys. I think that's a bit of an odd line to draw, but I'll respect it.

(They definitely died, though. Those tears tell all. Non-combatants led around to the back of the mountain and straight to their deaths, I guess. Yikes.)

Bless Ginseng Fruit for trying to defend the boundaries in Stone Monkey's life. By creating boundaries for him without Stone Monkey's input or approval <3 "It's fine," says Ginseng Fruit. "He only needs boundaries with other people. I'm different." Godspeed you weirdly intense little fruit. Glad Stone Monkey has a handle on that, generally by means of straight up covering Ginseng Fruit's mouth and doing whatever it was he was going to do anyway. I guess if it works for them it's fine?

Also appreciated Stone Monkey leading them all to the waterfall and then his face that perfectly speaks to the fact that Stone Monkey is having the abrupt realization that his last time entering this cave was a complete accident caused by reckless use of logs and a total shattering of the laws of physics he isn't positive he can repeat. Do you think he imagined asking Marshal Ma to surf a log up the river and just crash straight into the waterfall, no, really, it'll be fine, for approximately two seconds before his brain shut down on itself in self-defense and also despair? Absolute gold.

And the writers slipping in a little reminder of the tenuous and fickle regard of the troop by having a few of the soldiers immediately ready to believe the worst of Stone Monkey right then and there. Thanks, writers. We might have forgotten.

Not gonna lie, I was looking at the Demon King's army in slight confusion wondering at some of these character designs (the artists are actually usually pretty good about using familiar character models for every crowd shot, so the new guys stood out), before I remembered that Demon King had the great idea to issue a fake decree in Heaven's name. OH, went I. HA.

I mean, I'm sure that's not going to backfire spectacularly in any way at all. Heaven probably loves having random demons lying and using their authority to stir up trouble only to then point the agitated results of their tomfoolery right to their doorstep. Everyone loves having their name dragged into a fraud case!

But also...okay, jumping topics entirely, but why couldn't anyone just jump back and grab Sixth Eldest? Any one of those guys could have made the jump there and back in half the time it took the kid to finally do it himself. Yes, of course, "but the tension!" or whatever. I call contrived. As far as I'm concerned, the only one with an excuse was the one monkey apparently responsible for handling six children by herself. What was she going to do? Toss the one baby to save the other baby? She's got her hands full.

Watching Sixth Eldest make that jump though, I was just thinking the whole time: Wow. How much would it suck to be the reason your entire community was overrun by murderous enemy forces? As it is, this kid is probably going to be hearing this story at every drunken feast for the rest of his entire life. RIP, little buddy. (I'm also counting children and if Yellow Flower Monkey has six kids to look after total, that means Sixth Eldest is the youngest. Who's the kid being held in her arms, then?! Why's the littlest kid out there toddling over sheer drops and water-slick rocks by himself while this baby gets the VIP ride? Is it...*gasp* favoritism? Yellow Flower Monkey's secret dark side?!? /j)

Old Monkey King excitedly waxing poetic about Water Curtain Cave, though? Cute. Super cute. He was incredibly excited and I don't think we've ever seen him this tickled. It was amazing.

None of the adults actually bothering with rationing until after the food was already gone, though? Less cute. They even called themselves out!

"It's better not to wait until these kind of things become a problem to sort out a solution." *sage nodding* *cut to elderly monkeys literally collapsing from hunger just down the hill* "By which I mean, it would be better, but all the food is already gone." "WHAT."

And it can't just have been gone either, since people aren't generally out here just immediately collapsing from hunger the second the the last fruit is plucked off the branch. Even if they are elderly. How long were they out of food before they had a meeting about it? Guys. I just said you were getting your shit together.

Ginseng Fruit, reading the room and dragging Stone Monkey away before he can volunteer to feed the whole troop from enemy-infested territory single-handedly, pointing a very stern finger at him: "No...nO..."

Stone Monkey: UGH. I KNOW. I wasn't GOING-

*aforementioned collapsing elders and Yellow Flower Monkey (again)*

Stone Monkey: ...to WAIT. Off I go, I guess! See you later, Ginseng Fruit. Hold down the fort while I'm gone, okay?

Ginseng Fruit is over here running their hands down their face shaking and screaming violently on the inside, I bet. If they'd seen that elder go down before Stone Monkey did, they absolutely would have buried the poor man alive, I'm sure. Like shoving a mess you don't want your guests to see in the closet. Except with a living person. And mounds of cold, wet Earth reminiscent of a shallow grave. Look, all's fair in love (/platonic) and Not Letting Your Favorite Person Die For The People Who Left Him To Die Regardless Of His Feelings On The Matter war. Sorry, old man. Nothing personal. (I do not actually think they would have done this, but I do think it would have crossed their mind. Let Ginseng Fruit be a little unhinged. It's funny.)

On a sidenote, gotta appreciate the old man for apparently recognizing their limited food supply well in advance of anyone else and taking care to make sure the young got what they could while they could. What a guy. I like that guy.

Six Ears...definitely has ulterior motives for going with Stone Monkey, but also this is still the kid who took it upon himself to hunt Stone Monkey down every time he took off by himself on dangerous missions in the past too, so him going through the old song and dance of noticing Stone Monkey was just straight gone without a word halfway through a conversation (Stone Monkey will never outgrow that, will he? Lol) and knowing from experience that Stone Monkey was definitely off to Solve The Problem and promptly running after him is basically their old dynamic in its entirety.

It's just...sad now. Because Six Ears is definitely going to be making some bad choices and do something that's going to hurt because he's hurting and it's going to suck and I don't wanna see it. And meanwhile Stone Monkey's just happy to have Six Ears with him.

I love them ):

Stone Monkey actually noticing Six Ears being kind of subdued once they're out of the cave, though! My boy! He never does that! Or at least, that's how I interpreted it since there's an animation of him jumping up to walk next to Six Ears, who is frowning at the ground, and the animation has him glance sideways at him, look away, glance sideways again, and then away again. And he's also frowning the same way. They did that on purpose! Tell me Stone Monkey isn't noticing something.

But of course they're interrupted before it can go anywhere. Ergh.

[star-xxx1]

can you do a dark!g!p!step-cest Natasha Romanoff x f!reader? Please

Attitude.

Stepsis!Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader.

Warnings: G!P Natasha, Dark Natasha, crying, dub-con, forced blow jobs, fingering, dragging, swearing, arguing.

A/n: Being used by Nat >>> This is really bad and quick. Not proofread. :)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"I am so done with your shit! Your attitude is disgusting!" Natasha screamed out, waving her hands in the air, frustrated. Ever since your mum and her dad left for town, you had been arguing with each other, at even other throats contanstly. Around 5 small petty agurments a day. This time, you had upset her by refusing her touch. She was very quick tempered and domineering, plus she had been very touchy lately.

"Natasha, I am really sorry, I didn't mean to!" You cried out, more tears falling freely.

"You say that all the time!" She seethed. "Oh, I am so sorry, Nat. Please forgive me," She mocked. "You're pathetic y/n."

"Natahsa, please, I really mean it. I am really sorry!"

"You know what? I am done with your shit." Her voice was firm and cold.

"W-what?" You breath hitched, scared at what she would do next. Natasha grabbed your hair, you hand a flew to the back of your head, trying to pull her hand away. She pushed you to your knees harshly.

"Ow!" You whine out the impact hurting your knees. Natasha laughed as she tightend her grip.

"Stop with the whining bitch." She spat in your face. you whimpered fresh tears welling up.

"You look so pretty on your knees for me."

"Natasha, please am sorry." You begged.

"Sorry isn't good enough." More tears came rushing. You really wanted Natasha forgiveness.

"Nat-" Before you could finish talking, Natasha unzipped her pants and let her shaft spring free.

"I can't resist you y/n. You're so cute. So lovable," You looked up to her with wide eyes."Get to sucking baby girl. Show me how bad you want me to forgive you." She slapped her cock against your cheek signaling for you to open up. She shook your head no.

"Nu-uh," you refused. her lips twisted into a cruel sneer. "You're playing hard to get, huh? But you know you can't resist me." You shook your head again. "Y/n, do you think I have time for this shit?! Open up!"

You refused once more. "Fine, you wanna be like that." She let go of your head with a shake and pinches your nose. You tried your best to keep your mouth sealed, but the lack of oxygen was getting to you, Natasha smeared her precum all over your lips with her pink tip, teasing you. Eventually, you opened up a little bit just to get the slightest breath off air, but Natasha was fast. She shoved her cock down your throat and let go of your nose. She grabbed your hair again to make a makeshift ponytail.

Natasha body trembles from pleasure as she sits there in your mouth. You bashed your hands on her thighs, struggling to breathe and get custom to her shaft. You looked up to her with watery eyes, mascara running down your cheeks. Her voice is rough, almost hoarse "Don't you fucking dare try to play innocent with me. You're a born slut and you love it. I can see it in your eyes."

Natashas breathing becomes ragged as she slams herself deeper inside your throat "Mmm...you feel so fucking hot. So wet. My dirty little cocksucker. Such a nasty little whore. Such an obedient little bitch. And you love every second of it don't you? Every single moment." You shook your head no. Gagging and spluttering around her cock as she fuck you throat as if it was a personal fleshlight.

"Good girl." She moaned. Using you harder and faster. Tou drooled a mixture of spit and cum down your chin and onto the wooden floor. Her grip tightens further as she cums hard, shooting hot ropes of sticky white liquid deep inside your throat. Your cheeks bulge slightly as you struggle to swallow every last drop without gagging. After what seems like forever, she finally releases you, panting heavily. You lay there on the floor, holding your chest, heaving for air.

"So good doll." She said before picking up your leg. She started dragging you into the living room. You screamed and cried, body jumping as you landed on the couch. she looked at you hungrily, licking her lips seductively. "I want more." she says firmly. The redhead straddled your legs, pinning your arms above your head. You writhed under her, begging her to let you go.

"Natasha no please!"

she laughs darkly. "No?" she asks mockingly, staring at you with an evil glint in her eye. "What if I say 'Yes?' What then?" she teases playfully, pressing her body against yours. You quickly shook your head no. She chuckled. "Oh yes, baby, let me show you what real pleasure feels like."

She smirks as she watches you struggle to free yourself from her grasp. You're trapped between her powerful thighs. The way she grinds her hips makes it clear how much fun she has in mind. She whips out a pocket knife from her Jean pockets.

"Woah!" You shouted eyes widen eyes.

"Don't worry, princess, I am not going to hurt you unless you give me a reason to." She twisted her head to the side, tracing the knife down you breast valley. She smiles wickedly, slicing off your shirt and tossing it aside before ripping open your trousers and underwear simultaneously. You feel cold air rush across your exposed skin as she stares intently at you, hearing the knife clank on the floor. "Now now," she coos softly, running her fingers along your inner thighs gently. You softly cried, whimpering her name over and over again.

Natasha kissed your cheek affectionately. "Shhh shhhh It will all be alright, darling." She strokes your hair lovingly, whispering soothing words. "Just relax.. Relax..there there..." her voice becomes soft and gentle, almost hypnotic. She runs her hands over your chest and stomach, stroking your hair lovingly. "Mmmh, you're so cute when you cry so helpless," she purrs out.

She moans loudly, rubbing her hand over your chest as she continues exploring every inch of your body with passionate intensity. "Such soft skin," she murmurs. "And such sensitive spots" trailing light kisses down your neck and shoulders. "So perfect for fucking." She moves her fingers down to your clitoris, circling it gently, feeling the wetness build between your legs "mmm you're so wet. You like this, don't you?" she teases, looking at you list blown eyes. "Is this what you wanted? A weak little girl who can't even defend herself?" She giggles devilishly, squeezing your breast.

"Nat stop, please." You moaned slightly the pleasure building up.She continues teasing you mercilessly, rubbing her finger tips over your sensitive clit while fingering you slowly. Your breath becomes heavy as you struggle to keep quiet. "Please, what? Please stop?" She says mockingly, enjoying every second of your suffering.She giggles darkly. "Ahhh, but you can't stop me." She slides two fingers inside you slowly, thrusting them in and out forcefully. "Come on, come on, baby." She looks up at you expectantly, waiting for you to enjoy yourself.

She presses her thumb against your clit firmly, rubbing it rapidly while continuing to finger-fuck you ruthlessly. "That's it cum for me, baby," She whispers encouragingly, licking her lips hungrily. She smiles wickedly, watching as your body tenses up in pleasure. "That's right, come for me, baby." She thrusts her fingers in deeper, hitting your g spot perfectly, sending shivers down your spine. You cry out her name slowly, succumbing to the pleasure.

"Natasha!" You cried out at the pleasure. Repeatedly, bringing you close to climax. "Just one more push, and I'll make you cum all over my hand." She was so eager to taste your. Teasing you with her fingers, bringing you close to the edge. "Tell me, who do you belong to?" She looks up at you, her eyes dark and menacing.making your body shake with each thrust.

"You!" Your back arched off the couch. She smiles wickedly, feeling your muscles tighten around her fingers.

"Yeah, that's it. Come for me, baby. Feel the ecstasy." She grins darkly, watching as you writhe around in pleasure. She watches as your body tenses up, and you release in an intense wave of orgasm. You scream her name one final time, your whole body shuddering as you climax. She pulls her fingers out slowly, spreading your juices all over her hand and licking them with a satisfied smirk. Natasha enjoys the sight of you laying there panting heavily, unable to move or speak. "Good girl," she says softly, reaching forward to stroke your hair lovingly. "It's okay now, relax. Just lay back and enjoy the afterglow." She gives you a soft kiss on the kiss.

"Am so proud of you. Let me take care of you now. You are forgiven, baby." She cooed into your ear. You were hers now, and you couldn't deny it.

[blossomthepinkbunny]

My full Stolitz rant

Like many other people I really dislike Stolitz as a ship and the newest episode proved that further. I decided to just make a full rant about everything that comes to mind, instead of making multiple posts, focused on different general aspects/themes of HB or HH like I usually do. So this will not cover the issues I have with the writing of other characters like Stella or Octavia (I briefly talked about Stella and the aspect of woobyfying Stolas in my Adam post already). This also won't cover general problems with writing relationships in HB/HH or anything that breaches out of their relationship for that matter. It will probably also be focused mostly on Stolas because Blitzø isn't in the wrong in their relationship really.

One of my problems is that I've seen some people try to defend Stolas' actions by referring to Blitzø as a sex worker to which I just have to say:

1. He isn't a sex worker, he's an assasin. He only has a transactional relationship with Stolas, for which he didn't have a choice, otherwise he would lose his job and the opportunity to provide for his workers and daughter. It's not like we see him generally have sexual relations for payment with other people, only Stolas which makes sense, because he isn't a sex worker and doesn't want to be.

2. Even if he was a sex worker/qualifies as one in the specific relationship he has with Stolas, that doesn't mean that he owes Stolas anything other than sex. It's not Blitzø's fault for not wanting to have anything to do with Stolas and he doesn't owe him kindness, understanding or love after what Stolas put him through, just like real sex workers don't owe a romantic relationship to any of their costumers.

It was genuinely kinda refreshing to see Stolas finally acknowledge what their relationship isn't good and that Blitzø needs to be away from him. And seeing him give the Asmodean crystal to Blitzø was a nice gesture. But this is immediately made irrelevant by the confusion of what Stolas' character is even supposed to be here. He goes towards being somewhat likeable by understanding that what he did was wrong and having that finally be recognized and called out in the show. Called out by Blitzø, who has many good reasons to dislike him and give Stolas that reality check. But then the show wants us to pity Stolas again by making him say that god awful cringy line and making me immediately roll my eyes again. Because them acknowledging the bad actions of the character (something the show wants to pride itself on so badly) was something I wanted to see ever since HB started to victimize that stupid owl. I was ready to see this character less negatively when the reality of his actions finally hit him, with the genuine breakdown Blitzø has because of him. But he gets woobyfied immediately so now he seems like a manipulative hypocrite once again, because the conversation they have might as well go like this:

Stolas: I want you to be free because I realized that the relationship I set up wasn't right and I don't want you to feel forced to love me. I care for you and I want to love you, but at the same time, I don't want you to have an obligation to be kind to me or have a relationship with me.

Blitzø: Is this a joke?

Stolas: No, I am giving you freedom, so you can stop feeling forced to do whatever I say.

Blitzø: So you're acknowledging that you suck and that you weren't nice to me and you're giving me the freedom to choose how I will proceed with our relationship.

Stolas: Yes, I am.

Blitzø: Well I do think you suck because of the reasons you mentioned and I'm gonna give you my perspective of the things you said and explain just how badly you hurt me, especially when you're just sending me away like this, giving the impression that you're throwing me aside, after you got everything you wanted from me.

Stolas: How can you think of me like this?! I love you so much and you just think I suck?!

What reason did Stolas ever give Blitzø to like him? Apart from the coercion even, there is no common ground they have. They never hang out just casually or talk like normal people, who would realistically be able to form a relationship. The only date they had (from what we can assume from the context clues in the show) that wasn't just a meeting for sex was in Ozzies and that went south really quickly. It honestly reminds me of Twilight, where Bella and Edward are said to be a great couple (by the movies atleast, haven't read the books) when they have never had a normal conversation or an interaction that could give them chemistry. All of the interactions Stolas and Blitzø had so far were either scenes talking about/having/having just had sex or them talking/singing about how tragic their lovestory is. The only exception to that are the scenes were they are children and that's obvious because it would be weird to have literal children talk about sex or about the tragedy of their relationship, when they've only known eachother for a day or so. But even these scenes don't make them seem greatly compatible or even interesting because they only hung out for hardly a day and then didn't interact for like 30-40 years until they meet again (for the first time since they were children) and Stolas just immediately assumes Blitzø wants to fuck him.

And what also weirded me out is when Stolas said something along the lines of: "why do you always make this about sex?". As if Stolas ever gave Blitzø a sign that he wants to have anything but sex from him. Again, Ozzies is the only example for that and after that, their relationship was not that important until now. But even then, Stolas made sexual remarks towards him in "Seeing Stars" and talked about how good he is at sex in "Western Energy". And this sexual relationship they have is something Stolas set up, when he could've also just given Blitzø the book without forcing him to have sex and get closer by genuinely being kind to him. We don't even really know what he likes about Blitzø except for how he is in bed, so why am I supposed to care about their relationship and be sad about it not working out. Because they never give us the impression that either Blitzø's or Stolas' life would be better with the other in it (this is excluding sexual context becasue Stolas made it clear that he doesn't just want a sexual relationship in this episode). The only thing they have in common is that they both have daughters they struggle with but even there is a huge difference. Blitzø desperately wants a good relationship with Loona and constantly gives her affection and compliments, to which she responds with annoyance and abuse. Stolas has a daughter so understanding and just really neglected by him, on one hand because he always prioritized Blitzø over her (something he'd probably judge Stolas for, because spending time with a daughter who actually likes him and wants to spend time with him would probably be one of his dreams).

And nothing of this is even mentioning the sexual harassment Stolas puts Blitzø through. It starts with the pilot and the first episode, where their deal starts, at a point in the story where Stolas' whole character joke was just talking about wanting to fuck Blitzø. In the first episode their deal is established, a deal Blitzø hastily agrees to, because he is literally being hunted down, something Stolas is fully aware of. In the second epsiode Stolas makes sexual remarks towards Blitzø in front of his daughter and in the rest of the episodes he is in general very touchy and diminishing, something Blitzø is never shown to be a fan of. Stolas also very blatantly either fetishes Imps or is downright abusive towards them, showing that he doesn't see them as equal and that Blitzø's assumption about Stolas thinking he's less important is probably true (which is just a great setup for a relationship I'm sure).

In the end Stolitz is a confused, manipulative, victim blaming mess of a ship which could be used to great potential, if there was ever a point were they use this dynamic to genuinely portray a toxic relationship that shouldn't happen, instead of acting like they're meant to be together despite the toxicity and as if Stolas deserves my pity when Blitzø rightfully tells him to fuck off. Sometimes people just aren't meant to be a couple because they genuinely are too different or have other issues. But they can't have the story be about Blitzø breaking away from Stolas, because then the show couldn't mainly be carried by shipping and selling cutesy merch of a couple which actually sucks.

I do not care for the stupid owl and I probably never will. I do not think Vivzepop has the writing ability to turn this whole thing around and make Stolas end up as a well-written, flawed but still sympathetic character. The more they go into victimizing him by showing all the characters that call him out as abusive, inconsiderate or heartless (Stella, Octavia, Blitzø), the more I will dislike him and miss what the show once started as.

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 17, 2021 3:00 p.m. yonsei university

[grant] did your dad apologize for being a dick, though?

[henry] of course. he was a good person and realized he was being a bit weird. he just hated noise. i think he'd have been happy to be born with a set of noise-canceling headphones attached to him.

[grant] except maybe he liked your mom’s noise from that day forward!

[henry] he did, but even if he hated it, he was probably glad to have hers back after a while. almost half the time they dated, they didn’t even live in the same country.

[henry] my mom worked at an art shop somewhere in seoul, and my dad had this sweet gig working at a museum in paris while getting a doctorate and doing some traveling, visiting art museums on every continent. he got the doctorate, but gave up the job to come back and marry my mom.

[henry] and she won out, to be honest. him teaching here was a prestigious position, and his family are pretty well off because they're in banking and all, so she got to quit her job after marriage, have me, and just sculpt for fun.

[grant] that’s the dream, right?

[henry] i think so.

[grant] it’s nice to be genuinely in love but also to support each other’s passions, too, whether that's helping them pursue a job or a hobby. i mean, that’s everything. that's the deepest form of connection. oh yeah, definitely the dream.

[henry] for sure. there wasn’t much for my mom to help with because she was never wealthy and her parents weren’t either, but she was a huge moral support. she was my dad’s biggest fan. sometimes getting a doctorate sucked, and he wanted to quit, but it was hard to quit with her on the sidelines cheering.

[henry] that’s like me and soobin. not much i can do on the money front because i'm not rich and i won't take money from my parents, and i couldn’t help with her medical school because i'm a certifiably terrible student, but i can be and am her cheerleader.

[henry] and i may not have been a photographer without her. being an artist is the worst career choice unless someone else has money to throw at the bills. and i make an okay salary! i have solid clientele booking all year long, but i don't charge what i "should" because i feel wrong asking too much money to do wedding photos and all. that shit's expensive - i'll take a small cut off the going rate so they get all they want for the big day.

[henry] besides, the one thing in life that makes me nervous is clients being unhappy. everything else about a wedding goes away except the photos. if they're unhappy, i'd rather the pricing not be an extra issue, you know? at least let it be a cheap mistake.

[grant] but you would have still pursued this, right? i can’t imagine you not at least trying it out. you have always been set on some kind of photography as a career. even when you were having a crisis around college graduation about whether you should pursue high-brow art or something very human and realistic like you do now, you never questioned if photography was your truth.

[henry] i would have. i've always known it was my goal. i just think the financial stress may have worn me down eventually if she wasn’t willing to shoulder an extra share of the burden. like i said, charging people themselves is a strange thing, and you just never know what can happen. sure, i did end up with a good brand through putting myself out there on social media, but that was no guarantee.

[henry] if that hadn't worked out, i'd have been in trouble. and when you don't have a lot of clients or reach, you have to be conservative and sometimes that hurts you on growth. blah blah blah. point is, i owe soobin a lot, both for financial support and her total faith in me.

[grant] well, teamwork makes the dream work and all that!

[henry] hey, you're part of the team, too. there's no one else i'd rather call at 3AM asking to check the red balance on my pictures because everything looks green to me. and as it turns out, having a friend with a massive family who host many events requiring photography is excellent for clientele building.

[anime-fluff-imagines]

Haikyuu Characters First Kiss with Their GF

Sakusa, Kageyama, Akaashi PT. 1

Sakusa Kiyoomi

It was Itachiyama's game with Karasuno, and to be completely frank, I was terrified. Kiyo's team was winning, but I'd heard, and seen, some insane things from/about them. So when the ball hit the ground inside the lines and I heard the buzzer, I almost started sobbing. Kiyo had been practicing so hard for this and it payed off.

I was with his coach on the side lines, smiling brightly with tears in my eyes, as they went around thanking each other and the audience.

Finally Kiyo came over and smiling at me.

"We won." He said and I giggled.

"I saw. Congratulations Kiyo, I know you worked really hard. Good on all of you." I said to the team at the end. He smiled and then looked down and scowled.

"I'm going to go shower." I nodded, smiling.

...

"Good job, really." I said on the bus ride back to his house. He smiled and sighed as he let his head fall on my shoulder.

"I couldn't have done it without you." He said, nuzzling his head around.

"Wah, it's four am." I said.

"Woah." He replied as his head jerked up in surprise.

"Aww, you look so sleepy." I cooed and he blushed softly, not that I could really tell, his mask covered most of his cheeks.

"I am." He groaned as he flopped his head back onto my shoulder.

"Ow." I whined.

"That didn't hurt." He scoffed, playfully. I rolled my eyes and started brushing my fingers through his hair.

"We still have over an hour, honey, I'll wake you up when we're there if you want to sleep." He nodded and looked up. I raised my brows and pouted my lips, silently asking what he needed.

He raised his head back up and pulled his mask down.

"What?" I asked, a bit confused.

"You know what I noticed today?" I hummed.

"I was so tired, thinking I was going to pass out." I furrowed my brows in confusion but he kept going.

"But when I looked over at you, with your hands clasped and your little confused face, yeah that one." I smiled.

"I realized how much I loved you." I sucked in a breath and he smiled.

"You don't have to say it back, just wanted you to know." He said.

"Kiyo?" I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Can you kiss me?" I asked. He glanced down at my lips before softly cupping my jaw and slowly bringing us together into a soft kiss.

It was not one of those kisses you see on TV, it was so bad, neither of us had kissed anyone before. But knowing it was with the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, it was perfect.

He slowly pulled away and opened his eyes.

"I love you too." I smiled as he nuzzled his head into my collarbone, a blushing mess.

Kageyama

I groaned as the ball fell to the ground and I followed.

"Tsukishima!" Kageyama screamed as he ran over to me.

"Okay, I didn't mean for that to happen." Tsukishima said.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Suga asked as he came closer.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I looked up and heard Hinata make an 'oh..'

"What?" I asked.

"You're bleeding. C'mere, let me get the first aid kit." Suga said but Kageyama stepped forward.

"I'll do it." He said and Suga nodded.

"Alright everyone, let's get back to practice." He said as he turned around.

Kageyama had an arm wrapped around my waist as we walked to Takeda-san and he opened the first aid kit.

"Y/n, do you feel disoriented at all?" He asked as he handed a package of tissues to Kageyama to open.

"No sir, just a tingly feeling." I giggled.

Kageyama tilted my head up and I shook my head.

"Mm-mn, that's not good for a bloody nose." I said.

"Well you're still a know-it-all, so I think you'll be fine." Kageyama said.

"Hehe." I giggled as Takeda-san walked away.

"I'm sorry you got hit in the face." Kageyama mumbled as I pressed a tissue under my nose.

"It's fine, and hey, Tsukishima didn't do it on purpose." He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. Mhm. Are you sure you feel okay?" He asked.

"...Actually, it does hurt." I said and he eyes widened.

"Where?" He asked as he bent down to be level with my face.

"Here." I pointed to my lips.

"Didn't Tsukishima hit you in the nose?" He asked confusedly.

"Tobio." I deadpanned.

"What- Oh." He flushed and cradled my head in his hands, letting me move the tissue out of the way. My nose had stopped bleeding.

He smiled as he brought us together in a slightly hesitant kiss. I smiled into the kiss and he pulled away and patted my head softly.

"Get back to practice you." I giggled.

"Mkay, just face the wall okay?" I pursed my lips and pushed him away and he had a grin as he walked away.

Akaashi Keji

"Bokuto!" I laughed as I was engulfed in a huge bear hug.

"Y/n, you didn't say you were coming today!" He yelled, excitedly.

"Ah, it was just on a whim, I made some cookies and decided to bring some." I said and he gasped.

"Guys! Y/n brought cookies!" He yelled and the rest of the team came in, Akaashi was walking slowly behind them.

"Here, how about you give them out." I said and Bokuto nodded as I walked to Akaashi.

"Hi, Keji." He smiled as I hugged him.

"Hey princess." He said softly.

"Bokuto seems happy." I said and Akaashi chuckled.

"He was a bit upset earlier, couldn't spike the way he wanted to." I nodded in understanding.

"Thanks for the cookies by the way, you didn't need to do that." He smiled.

"No, I did, I made a lot more than I thought." He laughed at my expression and I smiled at the sound.

.

I stayed for their practice because Keji said he'd take me out for coffee after. That wasn't the only reason I was going of course, but coffee with your boyfriend is better than coffee alone.

"Hey, I just washed up, let's go." I nodded at Akaashi and turned around.

"Bye Bokuto-san, I'll see you at school tomorrow!" I waved.

"Byeee!" He yelled and waved back.

.

"Good job today." I said when we sat down by a window in the coffee shop. He sighed and smiled as he shook his head slightly.

"Yeah, it was a good practice, mostly since you were there." I blushed.

"Flirt." I accused.

"Only for you, baby." He batted his eyelashes as he took a sip of his drink.

"You're too pretty for you're own good." I giggled.

"I'm serious though, it meant a lot, even if you thought it wasn't much. The team's been stressed lately." I nodded in understanding.

"Well if there's anything I can do, please tell me." I said as I got up to put my tray and plate where it needed to go and Akaashi got up to walk with me.

"Hm, well, one thing." I raised and eyebrow as we left the café.

"What is it?" I asked as he grabbed my hand softly.

"Can you kiss me?" He asked.

"Can I kiss you?" I repeated.

"Mhmm.." He blushed.

I tugged on his hand slowly and he smiled. He leant down until our lips touched and we both smiled into the kiss until we pulled away.

"Less stressed?" I asked and he shrugged.

"Let's do it again just to make sure." I nodded as he pulled me closer by the waist and connected our lips again.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Kino Ecstasy [02]

ー The scene starts in the guest room of Kino’s manor

Kino: Say, this isn’t the first time this thought has crossed my mind, but you’re kind of like a kitten, aren’t you?

Yui: ( A-A kitten...? )

Am I...?

Kino: Yeah, you are. You’re awfully whimsical and never do the things I want you to do. 

Yet, you’re just so cute, I can’t keep my eyes of you. Before I know it, you’re the only thing on my mind. 

Yui: ...!

Kino: Hm? What? Do you disagree with me or something?

Yui: N-No! That’s not it, but...

( How should I put it, I didn’t see it coming... )

Kino: Really? Okay then. So, I’ve actually got something nice for my kitty!

Yui: Something nice?

Kino: Hehe~ Look! A can of cat food! In other words, your meal.

Yui: Eeh? I can’t eat that...!

*Rustle rustle* 

Kino: Oh come on, don’t say that. Come on, I bet from the second I open it up...You’ll leap straight at it, won’t you?

*Thud* 

Kino: Ow!? ...Che. I cut my finger on the edge of the can...

Yui: A-Are you alright?

Kino: It’s just a scraーー ...Actually, it hurts like hell. 

Yui: Oh no! I’ll go get the first-aid kit, okay? 

ー Yui attempts to walk away

*Rustle* 

Kino: Wait. You should disinfect it. All you need to do is thoroughly lick the wound, right?

Yui: Eeh!? 

( No way... )

Kino: It’d heal in no time if only you were to lick itー I’m pretty sure it’ll instantly get rid of the pain as well. 

Selection

→ O-Okay... (M)

Yui: O-Okay...

Kino: I figured you’d say yes. Well then, lick it?

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: Uu...

( I said that on a whim but...Now that he’s got his finger extended towards me, I can’t seem to move. )

Kino: What’s wrong? Lick it?

ー Kino moves closer

*Rustle rustle*

Kino: I always do the same for you, no? Just try to remember that and do the same thing.

Yui: ( Uu. He’s only making it even more embarrassing by saying that... )

Kino: ...Come on, hurry.

Yui: O-Okay...

( I-I guess a little won’t hurt... )

→ I can’t! (S)

Yui: I-I can’t do that!

( I-I mean, it’s way too embarrassing... )

Kino: ーー What’s the problem? Are you trying to imply that my finger’s too dirty so you can’t lick it? 

Yui: N-No...! That’s not it, butーー

ー Kino moves closer

*Rustle rustle* 

Kino: I always make sure to thoroughly lick your wounds, don’t I? 

Yet you can’t do the same for me? Don’t you think that’s a little unfair? Do you hate me, perhaps?

Yui: That’s not it!  I don’t, butーー 

Kino: If you don’t, then hurry up and do it already!

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ( Uu...I guess a little won’t hurt... )

Yui: ...

Kino: Fufu, the inside of your mouth is so warm. It feels so soft, makes me want to keep on doing this.

Yui: ( Uu...He’s running his finger across the inside of my mouth..It’s hard to breathe...! )

Kino: Yeah, you’re doing a great job. You’re pretty good at this, aren’t you? 

Yui: I-I can stop now, right?

Kino: Nope. A little longer, please?

Yui: ( No way...! )

*Rustle rustle* 

Kino: Fufu. You really are so cute.

But why don’t we practice a little...So you can improve even more? 

Come on, try to slowly run your tongue across my finger? 

Yui: ( Uu...It’s suffocating...! )

Kino: Yeah, yeah, just like that. Nice going. Well then, why not try lightly sucking the tip of my finger next? 

Yui: ...I can’t do that...!

Kino: Hm? Don’t worry. You’re doing a great job? 

Yui: Uu...Like I said...! 

Kino: Say, I’ll lick you as well. So do the same to my finger, okay?

Come on, here it comesーー Nn...

Yui: Nn...

Kino: Yup, exactly...Good job...Come on, please me even more. Nn...

Yui: Phew...

( It’s embarrassing but...I can’t just flat out turn him down. I wonder what has gotten into me? )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[golbrocklovely]

Have you seen the argument that SnC can't be pulling away from the fans on social media because their 'social media stars' and that their entire job is social media so they are required to give fans tweets and instagram posts etcetc?

My opinion is no they're not social media stars anymore, they are YOUTUBERS, Instagram, twitter, tiktok and snapchat are just extras that these days they could stop if they so wanted. Their job is to create youtube videos, everything else they give us is given to us by their choice, they don't have to do any of that. They could if they wanted just use their social media accounts to promote only their videos and merch and nothing else like a lot of other youtubers do. They CHOOSE not to because in the past they have enjoyed the social side of things, but with their fans being assholes they are allowed to pull away from socials as they are not social media stars, it is not required of their job anymore. They are YOUTUBERS.

What are your thoughts?

it is very funny to hear ppl say this, especially when for years i thought the general consensus was that snc need to take a break and they deserve one. but now… no one wants them to have one. how weird.

first off, the main problem with this argument is that fans expect something for staying so long when we've never been guaranteed anything. i've been here for years, i don't expect snc to do dick all except give me content occasionally that i enjoy and continue to post on xplrclub where i pay to be/get exclusive content. that's all i'm owed. anything else is an added bonus.

fans that think they are owed something just bc they bought the most amount of merch or have been here for years or whatever other reason need a reality check. you are mistaking a past time of yours as a job. you aren't getting paid to be here. you can leave whenever. if you are no longer entertained, go.

snc haven't been consistent posters in years. like, yeah, there was a period of time from like 2015-2017 when snc were constantly posting on insta or twitter or snapchat or youtube. but it has not been like that in a very long time. snc don't have to put in that kind of work bc they have blown up already and now it's quality over quantity.

the problem i have with all of this is that snc have made it abundantly clear why they have started pulling back. EVERYONE IN THIS FANDOM IS AN ASSHOLE. what's not to get??

colby can't read comments anymore and has admitted so, he gets emails and loses followers over him growing facial hair, has been picked apart for years over his choice in gfs, got a terrible death threat a couple years ago that made him basically leave twitter, has gotten constant and dumb hate on there for years, got made fun of for being "fat" when it really him being sick with undiagnosed cancer, literally questioned even telling the fandom he had cancer in the first place bc he knew how they would react if he went bald, plus a mirade of other shit i can't get into. and even sam, the miracle child who rarely has ever had to face consequence for anything he's done or said, is now saying that fans are mean and words can hurt. so you KNOW it has to be bad for him to say something.

and they both said that they put too much of their personal life out there for everyone to see and it wasn't good for them, that they regret doing that.

this fandom thinks it "can say whatever it wants" without snc seeing it. or at the very least, they don't care if snc see. and in what universe would the idol want to stick around when it's fans are shitting on it?? you tell me. they're pulling back bc you all fucking suck. and when they eventually remove themselves entirely bc you want to bitch about their gfs or their face puffing up or whatever random other nonsense you deem worthy of a tweet, i don't want to fucking hear a peep. shut up, for once.

(none of this directed at you anon)

[molluskmirage]

The situation with the qsmp admins is not a safe cozy one. You’re allowed to be shocked, feel betrayed, and express frustration and disappointment but if that is aimed at the ones who suffered you are actively perpetuating harm.

The little info we have is enough! It is enough harm. And with something of this nature it is only the tip of the iceberg.

-Twitter admins were not paid and fired without a word.

-Lea and Pomme were expelled without word and payment. (What payment there was was pity change)

-Og Ramon was fired without word and replaced without any knowledge to audience and even worse CC’s

-EGG ACTORS WERE NOT PAID

the reason I emphasize this is that these were not unknown people, we could see, know, and love there work as an audience. If the audience isn’t showing concern for them what hope does nameless faceless people behind the scenes even hope to have for there plights and stories of abuse.

this isnt a popularity contest IF YOU DO WORK YOU DESERVE PAY. End of.

-young adults and minors were taken advantage of for there inexperience

-the mistreatment became so unbearable pushing Lea to speak up, that is a horrendous position to be in against something that is popular something that you love because it was that love that carried her through such treatment and that was known and abused!

-Artea (Ramon’s 2nd admin) has said and has been backed up by many other admins that they have a statement to make that they know wont go over well in the community, and it sucks they have to feel this way. Just because it has not been shared yet does not mean it hasn’t happened or to blindly hope for the best. Hurt has happened here. Given everything that we already know of the situation its not gonna be pretty and I want them to be able to have the space and opportunity to feel safe to share.

-Admins were not allowed to discuss with each other OR there was uneven care amongst the team. This has been enormously concerning to me, this is a tip of the iceberg. if a spouse is cutting you off and isolating you from friends and family it is the red flag of abuse and is just the same in the work place with this type of treatment. This ‘boss’ knew what they were doing and did so maliciously. (Even if ‘only one’ admin had been given this treatment it would be enough. but it hasn’t been just one and we still and may never come to know the scale of how many were hurt by this)

These are facts of harm were barely scratching the surface of, and its already enough. If you are being treated this way in your own life, if you have not entered the work sphere yet and do not know your rights, this is them, you deserve to be treated with respect and paid for your work. It does not matter if someone doesn’t like you, you make a bad comment, you’re bad at your job, its your dream job and you’re lucky to be there, you still need to be handled with respect and given your earnings for work done. The world can judge you for your actions but you are still owed basic human rights. People love to jump to superlatives to the worst case scenarios but that is so so very rarely ever the issue. Far more common is that people do the work ‘good work’ even and are taken advantage of and demeaned for small or subjective offenses to ‘rationalize’ their mistreatment.

There are admins in different positions to others. That uneven treatment is also by design. It confuses and muddies the water so it becomes in-fighting instead of focusing on the source of the issue. While it obviously sucks to have had nothing but poor treatment since the beginning it is also terrible to be in a position where you’re happy loving life thinking things are great and then to be slapped in the face that people you work alongside with have been treated poorly. Do you believe them? Do you feel shame that you were cozy while they suffered? Its an awful position to be in as well.

This also plays into the fact that some either dont know better or have been treated worse elsewhere so its ‘better’ then that. Ricardõ is a disabled player as a person in that position myself I could greatly sympathize why they might not feel inclined to leave even as their friends depart, because even in terrible circumstances it’s probably a better option then leaving. Being lonely, in pain, poor and vulnerable sucks, it sucks so much. I started playing mc just to interact with others because I cant see anyone and I break down crying so often because someone says my name, acknowledges my existence. I am in pain every day and can see no one but the one chance I can to exist in a world that I cant irl in mc is the highlight of my week, month or year. Ricardõ has an element of health that I do not but even if they are more able then I it is something I consider a lot when breaking down why they might make the choices they do.

I could be completely off base for them and only projecting my own problems here but even through projection there are still things incredibly unacceptable about this entire situation.

I never ever condone attacking others for what has happened but things have happened and they need fixing. You can have accidents and hurt people without meaning too but that doesn’t mean you dont treat the wound because you didn’t intend for it to happen, it happened, so spreading comfort and care to those hurt needs to be the priority and focus. There is no more waiting to see if more has happened, enough has already happened and if we give care to those that have come forward we’ll create a space for those that havent to share and address those issues once surfaced.

Hurt people may not say the right thing, may not be someone you morally agree with, they may not be someone you like and they may act out in ways you think is unjust THEY STILL DESERVE CARE, proper treatment, and space.

If you believe I cannot feel empathy for those that are the perpetrators, wether intended or not, then you are wrong (however of course welcome to your beliefs) I can afford grace to all. life is murky and confusing I understand that. There are many complexities that I simply wont have access to, no one is unforgivable but that also means a show of forgiveness is necessary before moving past it. You cant move past something that hasnt been moved. Also rhetoric that surrounds culture and attaching an individuals actions to their entire culture of people is never ok to either do or weapoinze against others in an attempt to invalidate them. People may unconsciously do so and it is not right but it is also not right to equate or read into others accusing them of such without significant trial. That is perpetuating what you are trying to defend against. If you are boiling down individuals that have a relationship with one another and there personal frustrations they may find against one another to just the culture they are from that is contributing to the us versus them mentality that reduces a person to a number and not a human. Culture can and will factor in to decisions and views, its a fabric of life that if you pull apart the seams becomes a tangled web. Culture is a part but so are relationships, relationships are their own quilt and those involved weaving their threads together, regardless if they have different strings or fabric are telling a story together and have an ability to communicate and critique in a way that others outside the process should be reserved on wether their criticism is needed. Be reserved in judgment about wether its that they’re trashing on the fabric itself or that they simply wanted it to be placed in a specific design which is a fine and healthy discussion for the two quilting to express. They may clash in perspectives and thats fine but that shouldn’t make someone their entire culture. Wether you’re trying to attack or defend, They are an individual. I can understand past hurt and projection you may feel about a situation as I have done with my disability but people should be able to be considered on a base by base here if speaking of individuals scrutinize more individually and if we’re speaking of masses give extra affordance of consideration in particular on cultures that are not your own, every culture is made up of individuals and they do not all agree with each other nor represent everyone as a whole.

Thank you so much Lea. Thank you so much egg admins. Thank you so much Twitter admins. Thank you so much builders, writers, coders, artists, assistants, actors. Thank you so much unnamed and uncredited individuals. You all did amazing work that was a true joy to watch. Thank you❤️

your work is worth thanks, love, and support. Wether you share or dont you are worthy of so much compassion❤️

[catbuppy]

I think worse than like being rejected is like losing a friend that I had for so long and it was nice for like the first two years and then they just become more distant and then act like it's your fault for like wanting more and not even like wanting more just wanting the same as I started with but like I get that people are busy and stuff

"people don't owe you anything" they actually do I mean like my friends owe me an acknowledgment of my existence at least

but like I guess I shouldn't be friends with someone that makes me beg for scraps but also I'm extremely unemployed and unoccupied so maybe it's just that if I had a job on top of going to school I would be more busy and then I wouldn't notice that they were gone which is probably what's going on with them

people don't always have time for each other but like I feel like a true friend would find time. like you don't know how much I appreciate when someone goes "I'm sorry I missed yr text Hi how are you!" and then I go I'm good I missed you thank you for texting

it's kind of hard to not act like whenever we hang out is like the last time ever and I have to get everything right now. oftentimes it is but I don't want to waste my energy on someone like that anymore

it sucks to miss someone who was bad for you. I guess I'm not even missing them I'm just missing what could have been. oh well

plus there's that thing of if someone closes themselves off from their own emotions they're really bad at empath.

damn I really spent like 3 years spending energy on someone who wouldn't spend the same energy on me

and now I'm still spending energy thinking about them just because I wish it didn't shake out like that I wish they weren't like that .

I think even worse is that I don't think the circumstances that led to this falling out could have been changed it's just something that didn't work out and that hurts more cuz maybe it's like this situation was different we actually could be best friends or something

but I mean I guess it would also need the prerequisite of them feeling about me the way I felt about them was just wasn't there it wasn't true it didn't exist

[koocycle]

I saw this pretty interesting reddit post and it was asking women who were in long term relationships, whose partners prioritized their careers/money over the relationship to describe their experiences and I immediately thought of our over wine couple lol

I read thru lots of the answers and it was actually pretty consistent in that the women who's partners over-prioritized work because they were motivated to have a secure future for their families ended up just fine in the end. they were able to overcome the tough period of time because the partner eventually prioritized their work less and less as they achieved their goal.

and the women who's partners were clearly over-prioritizing their career solely for themselves and their ego ended up being not so fine/ended in divorce or break ups a lot of the times.

Its probably pretty obvious why things would end up the way they did in the women's stories, but I still found it super interesting!

anyway it had me thinking that ow jk clearly started off with the intention of building a secure future for them because he desperately wanted to be able to give y/n all the things he thought that she deserved, but at some point it started to become less about that and more about how far he could advance and move up in his career, how impressive of a position he could achieve etc. now the problem is that his motivation has changed but he's still dishing out the same excuse that doesn't apply to their situation anymore every time the issue is brought up.

it's like he can't admit to himself that the reason he works as much as he does is because he values money and prestige and the opinions of other rich people at fancy functions and dinners over his wife's feelings. because admitting that would mean having to stare in the face the fact that he hasn't been as good of a partner as he should have been.

and then he paints y/n as the bad guy for supposedly being the road block that is trying to prevent him from "giving them a good life", when a. they already have a pretty fantastic and comfortable life, and b. all she wants is a stable relationship where he's more present than he is currently. she's not even asking him to stop work completely, just work a little less.

I honestly really feel for y/n because she really isn't asking for a whole lot, all she wants is for him to meet her halfway and he's created so much emotional strife between them over that by refusing to see the reality of everything. it must be so frustrating!! I don't even know what i'd do in that situation like.. I really don't think any man or dick is worth being that unhappy and hurt for. you either meet me halfway or goodbye lmaooo

even if he's jeon mf jungkook and the loml!! though i'd argue that I wouldn't really consider someone the loml if they did me the way ow jungkook is doing y/n 😂

oh god that’s such an interesting take!! i hadn’t thought of it like that before. also cute how your first thought was the ow couple 🥹

now that i’m reading it again, it makes much sense when you tell about the men who’s initial goal was to secure a good life! not justifying anything or anyone, but it must be so easy to get sucked into a world of business when they keep you on the job for at least seven or eight hours a day. so interesting to hear they eventually prioritized their relationship over their jobs when the most likely had to go through some sort of reality check to get to that point

he did indeed start off with the fact that he wanted to build them a secure future, and now it’s obviously escalated into something more, where his status grew more and more important. so it probably makes people wonder which one of the two scenarios you read about applies to them…

[au-starss]

alright this is going to be a long one so please bear with me. i'm going to explain where i've been, what's going on, and what the future of this blog is :)

i'm starting this post off with an apology. i basically vaguely announced a hiatus a year ago and dropped from the face of tumblr. i never really meant to keep you all in the dark and i'm sorry for that. you guys were some of the best things to happen to me so for me to drop out like that just sucked, so i'm really sorry

my life has been all over the place is the simple way to explain it. it's funny, this blog was created around my freshman/sophomore year and now i'm a high school graduate as of last month. on top of that, the transition from hs to college has been rough. as of rn, i am not in the financial situation to afford college, forcing me to give up going to my dream college and instead go to cc. i don't mind saving the money, but it's still quite heartbreaking. my friends are also leaving at this time and later, one to my dream college, leaving me to wish that was me. it's a tough reality that i'm eventually going to be able to accept. i now also have a job, payments to make for gas and insurance, and summer activities that have slowly piled. i'm very fortunate to be where i am, but this leaves me to lack writing motivation

this is the position i'm in; i want to write, i just don't know what i want to write. lately, i haven't found much media that has sparked as much inspo as say genshin or spiderman or persona. it's frustrating. i have all of these ideas but can't do anything with them. it's burning me out and i'm at a point where i don't know what to do with my ideas anymore. it's heartbreaking to disappoint so many people, but it's the way things are

i don't know what the future of this blog is. truly. i don't want to sit here and promise all of you who followed me before new genshin content, because that's just not plausible. i don't like genshin impact anymore. after the whole issue with the content creation community and the character designs and all of the controversy, i didn't wish to associate with the game. plus, it just wasn't fun or entertaining anymore. it hurts to say that; i owe a lot to the game. but that's the reality. i won't write for genshin anymore. i went in and deleted a good amount of posts, but i didn't delete my works. i had the urge to, but i didn't. i know those fics mean a lot to multiple people for reasons personal to them, and it would be wrong of me to take that away. that's not what my blog is about

i wish to continue writing, that's a given. ultimately, i might turn multi-fandom. i was kind of multi-fandom in the first place, so this won't be new. what fandoms will i engage in? i don't know. but i like to believe that that is ultimately up to me, as this is my blog that i worked hard to build up. i will eventually create a list of fandoms i write for, when the motivation comes. mutuals, if you made it this far i would love to share my ideas with you guys, should you need them. i have a lot, trust me lol. don't be afraid to reach out :)

if you read this far, thank you. it means you care about me and this blog, which warms my heart. i love you all truly. i hope you aren't to disappointed in this update. i hope you can continue to support my endeavour into new medias. and i hope that you all find your own motivation to do what's best for yourself, regardless of what other people think.

thank you and i love you to the end of time.

[dirtangeldean]

hi ren! i was wondering why you don't want your donation post tagged? tagging crowdfunding etc posts helps me find them again on my blog easily to rereblog in case they haven't hit their goal yet but i don't wanna make you uncomfortable

cw: weight talk/health issues

anon hiiii, i’m really glad you asked this and finally have capacity to write out fully why! so thank you 🤗

among the millions of users on this app, some things have gotten super cemented as The Way™ but that means staff knows it too.

while the 4 tags: “s***nal b***t”, c**wdf*nd”, “d**nation”, and “mu**al a*d” may seem helpful for sorting and awareness at face value, we as users have been using and overusing them for years. it’s like a sick joke to chronically poor “ebeggers” as we have been named by old reddit.

bottom line is staff hates poor people; even before they decided to take away tipping soon, they flagged posts and sh**ow ba**ed accounts, deleted users (usual poor and black/indigenous/of color) while letting gen pop think they were doing a good job. my main account has over 3k followers and i cant get any post i make over 3 notes anymore despite being a semi popular radical blog.

my messaging was taken away. i could hit post limit and still have activity of max 20 notes a day. the post itself could be randomly deleted or even hard to search all of a sudden even with a tag. it’s awful to be isolated on the internet when you’re poor. :/ call me paranoid but i barely touch my main account now.

anyway, my fandom blog doesn’t deserve a forced lack of community and i love you guys too much to not be able to see/be seen or talk to my friends. ive already been told by staff that this blog was flagged as spam once and they took away my messages, right after my last sciatic spasm. it took Weeks to get messages back.

it was awful, i was living in the dark and only eating egg cheese sandwiches or sugar rice and water bc i couldnt afford anything else. i’m not going back to that. i’ve gained weight that is making my bones hurt bc of my poverty food choices and forced sedentary lifestyle while healing my back. and i’m only just now getting back going walking and being employed sporadically. it’s super hard to not have help and not have a job bc of disability discrimination AND have deconditioned muscles. poor nutrition is horrible for muscle. it’s even harder to stomach getting 3 thousand notes on something and $17 while i owe Thousands the way it works on my main account.

if i can do anything to advocate for myself, it’s to ask this: dont use old, overused tags. get creative with tags so more people see and wont restrict me. tag comerades/mutuals in the post. tag the post with a random well wish like “good luck” or something. literally anything but the most common 4 tags. the same way people get creative with the name for their queues!

i made a post about other/different tags that can be used but it doesnt have a ton of notes, i tried looking for and i cant find it which shows 1. the tumblr tagging system still sucks 2. it will never get a ton of notes. many of the posts in the tags mention in the beginning of this post barely reach 100 notes. mathematically a post could need like 9,000 notes to be fully funded depending on the amount. there’s a post in there with 22 notes, unless that person makes a new post everyday (i know a person who does that), it’s a wasted effort and some days i barely have spoons to get up and relieve myself tbh :/

anyway, especially with things that took years to happen or months to fix, it’d just be nice if post got notes into 1k-10k territory to be effective.

i hope some or any of this answers your question, let me know if you have more! have a great day!

[queervegancryptid]

My dad and I are trying to talk every week on Sunday evenings. Last night's conversation was a lot.

I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep, so I'm watching 90s Sailor Moon. I stumbled into the last episode of Sailor Moon R, the Black Moon Clan arc, live on Pluto TV, so I decided to start Sailor Moon S. It's where I really fell in love with the series, when I found a few issues of the manga at the local Sam Goody. Now I'm really dating myself lol

But I still don't fully understand, after all these years, why they did such a shit job of recutting and dubbing it for Toonami and such. I mean, I do understand how and why it happened, but I feel like it shortchanged an entire audience in a big way, especially when the dubbed version of S came out.

It was a real "disappointed but not surprised" moment, but it was also a moment where I knew something was bullshit and couldn't tell others why.

That drags us back to last night's conversation. Let's just say, it's abundantly clear to me now that my dad and I have wildly different understandings of my childhood and overall development into an adult. He also said some crazy shit about aliens and mind control and Matrix-type simulation possibilities. None of that is implausible, but it was the way it came out that made it nonsensical.

Anyway, I kinda wish they would recut and redub it, but Sailor Moon Crystal, Eternal, and Cosmos are really more faithful to the original manga in general, so I guess that's a good compromise. Like not asking my dad if he's on meth and just ignoring it when his explanation for something in the news is mind control and hyper-advanced aliens and just letting it go, saying, "Well, tell you what. If you're right about this being part of an October surprise and Harris losing because of it, I owe you a coke."

Jesus fuck balls Christ. I am going to lose my entire mind. At least my partner helped take my mind off it before we went to bed ;) but this is another of those things that hangs over me because I know I'll have to deal with it eventually.

It got to the point where I was just exhausted. The crazy part of the conversation meandered somehow into us talking about my childhood, by which I mean, we went to abstract and bizarre crazy to personal crazy, and I found out he definitely has no idea about... a lot.

It got to that point when I realized what I was up against there and understood that I would not be able to help him understand, that night or possibly ever, what he clearly doesn't understand. But on the bright side, he knows that he probably doesn't understand, and he wants to, and that's a lot better than a lot of people can expect from a parent. I'm grateful for him in a lot of ways. I'm also frustrated with people in general, and I'm even more frustrated after that conversation.

So maybe I'll start a Sailor Moon blog as a secondary one to this. Gotta do something to take my mind off this bullshit so I can force myself to eat. Because another thing that's happening lately is that extreme hunger gives me panic attacks. Multiple times a day. I have to avoid it by making sure I eat, which is its own challenge, but if anytime I get anxious or my blood pressure spikes lately, my chest hurts, which is concerning.

Anyway, I'm on meds for that, and they're helping to manage the symptoms. Meantime, I don't know what to do aside from distracting myself and stumbling my way through this. So I guess that's what I'm gonna do.

It just sucks to feel like you don't have any good options. It sucks almost as much to find out your dad thinks you were born really smart but lost about 50 IQ points by the end of high school. I didn't get less intelligent; I learned to doubt myself more and more over time. And not being able to explain that to him in a way he could understand was just more than I could take.

All my life, people have blamed me for shit that resulted from what they or other people have done to me. They blame me for what they don't understand or see it as an immutable characteristic rather than what it is: the result of one or more fuck-ups in my psyche that never fully healed.

Anyway, I can't solve that today, or maybe ever. For right now, I'm putting it out of my mind as best I can and looking for distractions.

[the-firebird69]

Man SAVES Stranded Family 😳 // #from #movie

This kind of thing it starts happening in the same very soon they're saying it's very soon it was happening in the Midwest and it's going to happen in rural areas and these guys go out there and tons of them die

Hera

What's happening now and this particular scene and the earlier seeing happens in just a couple days and it is Garth and they refuse to pay a son with the old him if the government and personally they owe him a lot of money and their bastards in their mean and stupid they go through it and tons of those die violent deaths and horrible deaths and they still don't do a damn thing and think they're winning and a lot of people are trying to hit them all the time eventually they die and terrible deaths and then utter ignorance they're completely oblivious to what they've done to themselves and others. our son says in Garth was not really aware in westborough and he was just a child and he's still a child but mean.

Thor Freya

It's true in westborough you're the stupid kid you didn't know anything you can hardly speak you can hardly do your homework and you didn't know how to relate to people and he could not get along with you at all couldn't understand what you're saying it's like you're speaking of foreign language you just say yes or not and he couldn't do it is too annoying and your attitude was horrible at one point I said look I can't hang out with it with you you like a 12 year old child and stop calling me that's true too you said that and left and the guys are spoiled freak I started yelling it looks something else shut up Paul you idiot and you left it's not a big deal but really this guy is a s*** and so is Trump and they should never have any money and so damn dumb they don't do anything of value you should see how ridiculous this looks to the whole world this idiot marching around just would be president saying all the stupid really heinous stuff in the news and we should take it seriously he said he should be expelled from the race and a whole bunch of other stuff to shut them down is a huge massive loser and his people are just people are standing there waiting for the empire to take stuff it's really what it is Jesus Christ is he useless I'm tired of these freaks so feeling good and they just sit there they don't do anything and they should be arming themselves and they don't it's really stupid and they die a lot for Christ's sake is disgusting maybe happy when they're out

Mac daddy

We're doing the job and I'm doing it right and these people just quit and they're sick and they want to threaten this person here and the two in France and that's it that's their lives it's circle around them all day and they're stupid s****

Everyone's figuring out what DG has been doing he's threatening the two and it was a while ago it was 23 but it was in the spring and he started to try and get the second bike there what a f****** nightmare and now he's trying for the car it looks like he's going to move it all the way down and probably loses army and not care cuz he's an idiot he's the AI man because he's threatening the two okay they're stupid people and they're threatening him thinking they get stuff and he's beating the living s*** out of them and his forces are taking their stuff it's so God damn obvious and stupid and BG is threatening him so he's going to hit on him and right now and he knows what you're doing all day long you just suck at it and you don't know computer stuff either you're an idiot we don't know what that well but holy s*** you stupid people are so God damn tell him we're all going to get hurt and I hear you so I'm going to shut you down you piece of s*** and Trump what a f****** joke you two are

Mike tew

Onto other things but wow these people suck

Thor Freya

Olympus

[rarelyrad]

Homies, I present to you, some of the most angsty 1562 words I have ever written;

Or: I manage to make Eddie’s death scene worse.

Eddie knew as he cut the makeshift rope that would have freed him from the upside down, intentionally trapping Dustin Henderson in hopes that he wouldn’t follow him as Eddie went to go buy more time, that he was going to die.

The shitty thing was, a part of him was okay with that.

Eddie Munson may have spent a few extra years in high school, but that didn’t in any way mean he was stupid. He knew nothing good was waiting for him in Hawkins, if he made it back to Hawkins he would likely end up in jail for a crime he didn’t commit, and if he didn’t go to jail, the people of Hawkins would make going to jail seem like a vacation in comparison. The only good thing waiting for Eddie in Hawkins was his uncle Wayne, and even then, Eddie had somehow managed to convince himself that his uncle would be better off without him, which of course, simply was not true.

But still, Eddie ran towards danger instead of running away because he felt that he owed that to Chrissy Cunningham.

The truth was, Eddie and Steve had talked about this the day before, while Steve had been driving the van. Steve had looked at Eddie with a hushed tone, while everyone else had been sleeping to try and gain much needed energy for the fight, and he had taken a deep breath before saying, “I think I’m going to die in the upside down this time, Eddie, and I know that Dustin loves you but I need you to promise me that if I don’t make it out of there you’ll take care of the others too.” Steve said softly.

Eddie said nothing. He wasn’t sure why Steve was so confident that he was going to die, or if maybe Steve had nearly died so many times for upside down reasons that his real fear was that his luck would run out this time.

“Will you promise to take care of Dustin if I’m the one who doesn’t make it?” Eddie asks softly.

“There’s no reason you won’t make it dude, your job down there is to keep Dustin safe.” Steve says in a near scoff.

But even then, as they sat in that van, Eddie knew it would be him who would die, which was probably a better scenario. Far more people, even within the party, would miss King Steve, than would ever miss Eddie Munson, and that was a simple fact. Steve had multiple people who loved him enough that they might not be able to live without him, Max, Dustin, and especially Robin, and Eddie knew if push came to shove, if he died, Steve would make sure Dustin was okay.

Dying, as it turns out, sucks major ass.

Eddie knows as the first and second bays come and tear chunks from his skin that this is how he’s going to die, being a chew toy for bats, but he didn’t imagine it would hurt so fucking badly. They’re ripping his skin away in chunks, and he’s pretty sure one of them straight up ripped off his nipple. He’s screaming and crying out in agony as the bats knock him onto his back on the cold hard ground. He’s struggling and he wants one of them to go for his jugular or something so that all of this can be over, he wants to die, he doesn’t want to hurt anymore, he’s bleeding out and the bats have stopped biting him for reasons Eddie is in too much pain to consider-

Then Eddie Munson hears Dustin Henderson scream his name. His heart sinks, as he watches Dustin Henderson limp over to him, Dustin’s screaming and Eddie knows he’s hurt himself, but the pain is still so fucking awful-

Eddie decides in what just might be his final act of heroism that night will be putting on a brave face for Dustin. The kid that Eddie had grown to fucking adore, he’s seeing some terrible things right now, and Eddie doesn’t want to make this nightmare worse for Dustin by being loud.

He forces himself to stop screaming,

no matter how badly he hurts.

Dustin comes and within a blink of an eye he’s kneeling next to Eddie, in a pool of Eddie’s blood. Eddie focuses on his breathing, knowing that he’s not sounding good, he feels the blood in his throat, he knows he’s bleeding everywhere. He can’t talk at first, to focused on not screaming or crying.

“Oh god, Eddie.” Dustin says in a tone that shatters Eddie’s dying heart.

Eddie swallows the blood in his throat.

“Bad huh?” Eddie asks, he’s avoiding looking at Dustin because he knows doing so will make him cry harder. Looking at Dustin while he holds him as he dies will make everything hurt so much worse.

“No.” Dustin lies, “You're gonna be fine.” Another lie, he’s going to die, “we just gotta get you to a hospital, okay?”

“Okay.” Eddie says softly.

Dustin tries lifting Eddie up, which makes hiding his pain so much fucking harder. Eddie whines and whimpers.

“Oh, fuck, just give me a second okay?” Eddie asks, as tears he couldn’t stop start coming down his cheeks.

“Okay.” Dustin says through tears.

At least he isn’t on the ground anymore.

He’s laying in Dustin Henderson’s lap, and Eddie thinks, albeit selfishly, that he is glad after everything is said and done that he isn’t going to have to die alone.

It’s getting harder for Eddie to mask how badly he’s hurting, and he knows looking at Dustin will hurt in a whole new way, but he needs to do it. He needs to see Dustin. He needs Dustin to see him.

Eddie smiles at Dustin.

“I didn’t run away this time right?” Eddie asks, in hopes that he can convince Dustin that what he did wasn’t stupid, that leaving Dustin behind wasn’t a form of betrayal.

Dustin holds Eddie just a little bit closer as Eddie’s tears continue to fall. He shakes his head.

“No, no no no no no, you didn’t run.” Dustin says softly.

“You’re gonna have to look after those sheep for me okay?” Eddie asks softly. He’s in so much pain, and a little bit of blood is starting to come into his lips.

Dustin’s crying harder now, and Eddie hates himself because he knows he is hurting him.

“No! You’re gonna do that yourself!” Dustin protests.

“Nah man. Say ‘I’m gonna look after them. I need to know you’ll be okay.”

Dustin shakes his head, and a part of Eddie knows that Dustin will not be okay for a very long time.

“Say it. Please.” Eddie says softly.

“I’m gonna look after them.” Dustin says.

“And you’re gonna be okay?” Eddie asks. Dustin shakes his head.

“I’m actually gonna graduate. I think it’s my year Henderson. I think it’s finally my year.” Eddie says.

Eddie notices the others approaching, watches as they kneel down quietly on his other side. They don’t make a big fuss, no one is screaming and asking what the hell happened, and Steve isn’t chastising him for being a hero even though he told him not to. They’re just there.

Eddie knows that Steve is holding his hand. He's sitting next to Dustin, Nancy is on his other side running her fingers through his hair, and honestly, that feels nice. Robin is next to Steve, and her hand is laid gently on his calf.

He appreciates the fact that none of them speak, none of them make any effort to take this moment from Dustin, and Eddie is there, thanking a god he does not believe in that Dustin will not be alone when he dies.

Steve is holding Eddie’s hand just a little tighter. Eddie thinks back to the promise that Steve made him in the van and he knows Steve will keep his promise.

Eddie’s life never flashes before his eyes, and for that he’s glad. That’s not the kind of film he really wants to watch a rerun of, however he wishes he could know what he’s going to miss out on. He wishes there was a way for him to know what could have been.

Eddie feels his heart start going slower, and he knows that he’s dying now. The curtain is closing, the campaign of the life of the great Eddie Munson, is coming to a close.

Dustin moves Eddie’s head a little closer to his own chest, finally accepting in that moment that his friend is going to die.

“I love you so much man.” Eddie says, peacefully as he lays against Dustin’s chest. “Never forget that. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Dustin says softly.

Eddie is struggling to breathe, and everything hurts so badly.

Death is not gentle to Eddie Munson, he’s in pain as he lays dying, but at the very least, he is not alone.

“Eddie, I'm right here. You’re safe, it’s okay. You can go. You don’t have to hang on for me Eddie, I’m gonna be okay, and I’m gonna make you proud. You don't have to hurt anymore Eddie.” Dustin says softly, giving Eddie permission to go

Eddie Munson dies in the arms of one of his best friends, surrounded by people who have grown to love him.

[swimfaye]

Working it out

I'm trying to get a 5 Questions up and I am finding out so much stuff from the off shoot and historical research that I can't get the damn post up.

Worse, I have to go poo. or something my left hip / sciatica is going crazy in part due to my muscle atrophy / arthritis / weight gain.

I will figure it out but its nice this is the only thing that is bothering me right now. I mean I could be worried about other things.

Oh and let me worry about money. I should be making 2023 plans but, honestly I feel like "nah, I'm good" because 2022 was such a effing bust. I wanted to go to New York, I was losing weight then I realized I was day drinking at work because my job sucked so I switched jobs and that job sucks but differently because everyone effing left.

I have gained twenty pounds since September all because I couldn't handle the stress of the job. Now, its becoming an economics class.

How much does it cost you to go to your job? Right now its $400 a month in transit while grossing $4500 to $5000 a month that seems like a reasonable thing.

Except, what I spend on other things. Right now I have $10K in Credit debt that would be easy to dismiss and die down. Which I want to do except something else is going to happen on April 15, 2023 ...

I am going to owe taxes. That really really sucks. So, my plan is to roll over my IRA from a crappy service into my self directed IRA and if that doesn't work I will simply cash it out or whatever ..this thing is the last thorn in my side.

Next, I have to go to the Doctor. I have to demand help this time around because Kaiser was SO BAD So Horrible I just don't have it in me to go without health insurance any longer and if I do, I'm going to end up in emergency room or worse.

Next I have to move over to a new phone sadly.

I will be moving rooms soon enough.

oh gawd my hip hurts...

Oh I gotta make a phone call