#and by proxy maria's but you get what i mean

[loudmound]

i must admit; i am still unable to settle on a way to draw mary's face...

[wambsgansshoelaces]

Waiting For You

Chapter 1; Dolore

Siobhan Roy x fem!Reader

a/n: i’m in love with shiv thank you goodbye ! hope u enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it x love u all

Word Count: 3.308k

“How crude.”

You turn, seeing her for the first time. Her hips fill out her dress, the collar low cut. That was a lie, though. You’ve seen her plenty of times before. You were co-heads of News at Waystar Royco.

You can barely remember the first time you two met. Your family had been close enough to her father to bring you round often. You’d met when you were five, clicked, and haven’t separated since.

You do remember the first time you’d found her pretty- more than platonically. The feelings were big and, honestly, horrifying. You knew your parents would never accept any sort of same-sex relationship, let alone one that you had. She was, is always so damn ethereally breathtaking. And the tightening anxiety in your chest is telling you what it’s always said; this will never happen.

You and Siobhan Roy stand shoulder to shoulder, staring up at Michelangelo's David.

“You’re a spoilsport.”

“Nobody says that but my mother.”

You try to tune out the chatter around you. “How many people did he fucking invite?” you mutter to her.

“I don’t know. I can’t care enough to ask.”

You knew how she felt about her father remarrying for the third time. She didn’t like it the first time it happened when she was alive, obviously, and the new woman wasn’t an improvement. She was closer to him in age, thankfully, but was almost definitely a massive piece of shit he was marrying because she ‘gives him what he wants’, whatever that means.

The two of you, despite your initial not wanting to come, have to save face. After all, she was his daughter, and you have known him long enough to consider him close to you.

“Where are they, anyway?” you ask, peering out at the crowd.

“Probably fucking.”

“Ugh, you’re fucking gross.” She grins back at you, hooking her arm through yours. Your chest flutters at the touch. You drop your voice low. “You think he’ll do it?”

Kendall and Logan Roy are at war. After painful, elongated internal conflict, Kendall broke away with the support of a few major shareholders. He started his own company, and now there were two large media corporations dominating the world market- both pitted firmly against each other. You didn’t really see Kendall as a villain, nor did Shiv. Honestly, you think you prefer him over Logan.

And since Logan can’t take anything lightly, he’d secretly bought up shares within Kendall’s new company and, as per Shiv’s words, was getting ready for a proxy battle. You knew that the entire reason Kendall quit Waystar was because Logan had refused him the throne, over and over again, despite his promises. And now, his father was after him. Again. Shiv told you he was going to serve Kendall soon. You didn’t know when.

“God, I hope not. It’s too much to think about,” she says back. “It’s already enough that he’s running around shitting on so many journalists. Dad wouldn’t stand a chance against Kendall, if poor Kenny knew what was happening. Anyways, if Dad does anything dumb, we’re going to have to clean it up.”

The two of you take a stroll, arm in arm. Your heels click on the marble tile once you arrive back at the massive stone mansion rented out for you to stay in. Shiv redirects you to the bar. Even though you didn’t drink, you always accompanied her.

Her first glass of whiskey goes down slowly as you watch the people around you. Kendall is minding his business, his kids curled up against him, asleep. You have no idea where Roman is, and you think that’s for the best. Connor and Willa entertain their own group, his arms gesticulating in weird directions. Greg wanders around, drink in hand, chatting idly among the crowd.

Then there they are, at last. Logan, his soon-to-be wife right at his side.

“What’s her name, again?” you ask Shiv.

“Maria, I think.”

“That’s… really similar to Marcia.”

She lifts her shoulder in a shrug. “I don’t know what he sees in her. She runs some press/media company, and first time I met her to tell her to piss off on one of our news sects, she called me a cunt and then released that one paper with a picture of me sneezing.”

You sink into the couch you’re both sat in. “I don’t understand some people.”

“She wants my job. Technically also your job, but mine because she wants me gone.”

“Why?”

“Greedy,” is all Shiv says. “Her company is doing shit. But she stays afloat ‘cos she’s tethered to Dad.”

The elderly couple are making their rounds, greeting all who are gathered. Mostly everyone has flocked back from the art viewing, and the alcohol is beginning to flow. The two finally make it to you, and you and Shiv get to your feet.

“Logan,” you greet him, only giving Maria a slight not. He leans forward and claps a hand onto your shoulder.

“I’m glad you could make it. Tell your old geezer I say hi next time you see him.”

“He’s around here somewhere,” you laugh.

“The bitch has been avoiding me. He has some loudly wrong opinions on tie fabrics, eh, Y/N?” He laughs with you. Here, away from business, he’s a completely different person. You pray he doesn’t serve Kendall during your stay in Florence- this new Logan is a welcome change in persona. Shiv says nothing, eyeing Maria with her lips pursed.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Shiv says finally, whiskey in hand. The amber liquid swirls as her weight shifts from foot to foot.

“Work’s been busy,” Maria says back. “Lots of… digging to do.”

“Really? That must be such an interesting line of work,” Shiv replies immediately, “Anything juicy?”

Maria’s eyes meet hers. “Very.”

You and Logan exchange a glance.

“Well, if you ever need any help…,” Shiv begins, looking between her father and his fiance. “Y/N and I are pretty good.”

Maria presses her lips together in a thin line. “I’ll let you know. But, why talk of work when we are in Italia?” Her Italian accent twists all of her words, making them lilt, dance, and mingle together.

“Because,” Shiv says. “Business can’t just be left alone.”

Maria turns to you. “You share this sentiment?”

“I do,” you say, meeting Shiv’s gaze. “But I’m happy to be in Italy. It’s beautiful.”

“I think our shared ‘sentiment’ is that we take care of things we need to, even abroad,” Shiv continues.

This conversation has too much reading in between the lines than you’d like.

“Oh, don’t you worry, then. You’ll be able to enjoy the wedding day in peace.”

“Just the wedding day?” Logan asks, slightly miffed. “I think I should remind us we’ve agreed to ‘no business’, especially with Kendall and I’s… issues.”

You and Shiv exchange a glance. “No promises, Dad.”

“I’m being serious, Siobhan,” he says gruffly. “No funny business.”

Her whiskey’s all the way gone, now, and the two of you return to the bar. While you wait for her drink, you spot Roman pushing his way through the crowd towards you, buttoning up his dress shirt. He comes to lean against the countertop next to you, and leans close to whisper in your ear.

“Hey, my girlfriend told me to tell you that Maria’s a scheming bitch.”

You snort. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, when my girl was at work at her firm, she overhead a call being taken by one of her associates… She eavesdropped, and apparently, Maria’s been looking into the legal side of business.”

“Why aren’t you telling Shiv this?”

“Because I know you’ll know what to do with this better than she would. Besides, Maria gives me an icky feeling. Fucks with my ju-ju.” He gives your arm a pat. “Fuck my step mother up for me, will you? Thanks.”

You make a face at him and wave him off. He flips you off as he walks away.

Shiv’s now Ieaning against you, glass of presumably more whiskey raised to her plush lips. They’re stained a rich red, offsetting the orange of her hair and making her eyes glint in the bar light. Her lashes flutter against her creamy skin, staring at the bottom of her drink.

“Feeling okay?” you ask over the chatter.

Her cheek presses against your bare shoulder. She’d convinced you to wear some off-the-shoulder dress she said was the ‘pinnacle of style’. She sighs melodramatically.

“All of this bullshitery. Their wedding is all just another stunt. Business wise, press wise. I can’t escape the theatrics,” she whines, taking a sip from her drink.

“What do you mean?” you prod gently. She got a bit erratic when drunk, and even though she was just barely buzzed, you didn’t want to push her to do something rash.

“Their entire marriage.” She leans close, her breath fanning over your face. “I swear she’s marrying him for the money. But look at him, Y/N… he’s so in love.”

You both watch as the couple slow dance together on the makeshift dance floor. Logan’s gazing at her, positively smitten, like Shiv had said. Maria, on the other hand, peers over his shoulder disinterestedly as they twirl around.

“She could at less sell it better,” you mutter. Shiv’s head is back on your shoulder, and she downs the rest of her drink.

“Also,” Shiv begins, turning and flagging down the bartender, “Conner said he saw her at dinner with Wyatt Harson. That guy that runs that other company that’s also miraculously Dad’s biggest enemy.”

Maybe you were wrong about her not being drunk.

“How much have you had…?”

She takes her next drink. “I don’t remember. I don’t care.”

Shiv wasn’t much of a reckless drinker. Something is bothering her.

“Wanna get out of here?” you ask, trying to lure her away from the bar. She nods, taking your elbow.

“Let’s go sit in my room. It has a big-ass living area,” she murmurs, leading the way.

You leave the main atrium, Shiv gripping at her skirts as you make your way up the stairs. When finally in her room, she throws herself onto the sofa and sighs, relaxing.

“So many fucking people,” she groans. “All of them scheming and plotting and villainous. Makes my head fucking hurt.”

You sit next to her, dress skirt pooling at your feet. She’s already finished her drink, and she sets the glass on the small coffee table in front of you.

“Wanna tell me why you’re trying to drink yourself to a bout of early onset dementia?” you ask her softly.

Shiv frowns at you. “How do you know?”

“I’ve known you long enough.”

“I couldn’t say, out there. When there were so many people. When Dad was there.” She sniffs, readjusting so that her legs are propped up on the coffee table. “Maria’s after my job. After me, the company, whatever.”

“I don’t like her either, but we can’t just speculate.”

“I’m not speculating.” She takes a deep breath, centering herself, and probably staving off an oncoming headache. “She’s blackmailing me,” she admits quietly. “She’s dangling information above my head in exchange for garbage on Dad and Kendall’s dispute. She’s… I’m pretty sure she’s trying to take Dad down. Maybe she weaseled her way into the will, I don’t know. But I can’t say anything.”

“Shiv, what the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me?” You turn to face her completely, folding your leg under your body.

“It literally happened this morning. I gave her some bullshit lie, saying something about how Kendall was planning to serve Dad instead of the other way around, but lying is only going to work once.”

“What does she have on you?”

Shiv bites her lip, worrying at it with her teeth. “It’s… it’s bad. Like, in my own writing bad.”

“You’re Siobhan Roy. And I love you, Shiv, but you can just lie. You’ve done it before.”

“This is different, Y/N. I… I can’t. She, like, needs to die.”

You blow out a breath of air. “What do you want to do?”

“Kill her,” is her first answer. When you make a face, grimacing, she amends, “Try to figure out what she’s really doing.”

“Better,” you mutter. “How about we just… forget about it? For now, at least. She won’t have any time to do any sort of work, Shiv, promise. We’ll deal when we get back.”

She pouts. You feel your face go warm. Fucking hell, she's gorgeous. “And if she does have time?”

You shrug. “We deal anyway. But, come on, we should be enjoying ourselves. We’re in Florence. Can we just have fun?”

“We always have fun. You’re my only friend. My best one.” She takes your hand and gives it a tight squeeze. “And I really need to puke.”

“Buttering me up so I'll hold back your hair?”

She nods, lips pressing together. You shoo her into the bathroom, following and sitting by her side on the cool tile of bathroom floor. If it were anyone else, you’d have been disgusted, but this was a regular enough occurrence that you could keep her hair from her face with one hand and rub her back soothingly with the other.

After flushing the toilet, she groans. “Why’d you let me drink so much?”

“I literally only saw you drink three glasses. You snuck the other hundred. You should take a break from alcohol, don’t you think?”

She stays silent for a moment, staring into the toilet bowl. You’re sat flush against each other, your skin touching hers from shoulder to thigh.

“I’m sorry,” Shiv says under her breath. You almost don’t catch it.

“No you’re not,” you reply teasingly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

She chews at her lip before glancing sideways at you. “I feel like it’s always like this. You helping me when I do something stupid. I feel… I feel like I never do anything for you. And I don’t… It makes me feel so shitty.”

All you can do is look at her, stunned. In all your years of friendship, she’d never been so vulnerable. It’s the first time you’d ever even heard the words ‘I feel’ come consecutively from her mouth. You hold each others’ gaze, her glazing over with a sudden clarity.

You don’t say anything. You know she’ll talk when she’s ready.

After a few moments, she does.

“I… you’ve been around for so long. You’ve stuck with me for so long. And I… I… I don’t appreciate you enough. I don’t ever tell you how grateful I am to have you with me, that you’re literally my business partner, that we’re together 24/7. I know you mean well, and I’m a shitty person for thinking this, but whenever you’re supportive like this, you love me like this, a bit of me fucking dies inside because I know I’m never going to do something like this for you.”

Quietly, you ask, “But do you want to?”

“I do. I swear I do. You’re such an amazing friend, and I-”

“Shiv, stop.” You press the heel of your palm to the spot between your brows, trying to will away the forming migraine. “I just… Just try, okay? That’s all I ask.” Wordlessly, she leans towards you and gives you a loose hug, burying her face into your shoulder. You return it, pressing her to you tighter than you probably should. “You should go to bed,” you tell her. “You’ll be thankful for it in the morning.”

She sniffs. “There you go again. The perfect friend.” She wipes at her eyes, and you help her get to her feet. Her words bounce around in your brain. A friend. That’s what you are to her, and that’s it. Nothing more, you tell yourself. For your sake and hers.

Shiv’s changed into her pajamas, and you’re about to bid her goodnight so you can go rot in bed. Before you can, though, you remember something.

“Hey, can I ask something weird?”

“Always,” she says, crawling under the covers. You lean against the doorway to the bedroom.

“Don’t you think we should… warn Kendall? I feel horrible, just sitting here, waiting for him to get executed.”

She presses her lips together. “Why would we do that, though?”

“Why not? Honestly, I think he’s a better person, businessman, and boss than your dad is. And Logan’s been shitting on him for no reason his entire life. I’d feel like I wasn’t doing my due diligence if I didn’t say anything.”

She takes a second to think. “You think this can help in the long run?”

“From my point of view, we’re doing him a big-ass favor. And he’s the type of person to actually treat people around him the way they treat him.” You cross your arms over yourself, getting a little cold. “And I really wouldn’t mind jumping ship from Waystar to Kendall.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Shiv snaps suddenly. “Don’t flip. You can’t, and you won’t.”

An uncomfortable silence ensues. Through gritted teeth, all you say is, “Shiv.”

“I’m serious. I’m all for telling Kendall that he’s about to get fucked over, but you can’t abandon Waystar. Not if I’m going to still be there.” She catches the slight tremor that racks through your body from the chill. “But we won’t talk about that now. Like you said… We should be enjoying ourselves.” She breaks eye contact, looking down as she traces over the flowers printed on her duvet with her finger.

You sigh lightly, pushing off from the doorway. “Okay. I’ll go tell him before I go to bed.” You smooth out the wrinkles in your dress. “Good night, Shiv. Sleep well.”

So much for your earlier heart to heart. You turn, about to walk out into the hall.

“Good night, Y/N. Thank you.”

You give her a smile over your shoulder before shutting off the light and closing the door behind you.

You slowly make your way back downstairs, piecing together your speech in your head. The party is still going strong, and you feel like the noise has gotten ten times louder. You spot Kendall at the bar on his own, his thumb gently stroking the wedding ring sitting on his finger. You go to join him, and he gives you a soft hello and a small cupcake he’d mentioned was made by his wife.

“How are you feeling?” you ask quietly. “I know it’s been… a bit much.”

He laughs bitterly. “God. Dad’s been making my life hell. And I can only do so much to keep my wife, the kids, Rava out of it.”

You hum sympathetically. “Well, I hope what I’m about to tell you helps with that.” He turns to you, expectantly. “Mind if we take a stroll outside? The weather is always gorgeous.”

When the two of you are successfully away from any prying eyes and ears, walking through a garden, you let yourself relax. “Your dad has had a new investment interest.”

“Oh? I hadn’t heard.”

“Because it’s in your company.” He stops walking. “He’s secretly buying your shares, Kendall.”

“Oh my fucking god,” he says under his breath. “That’s why- shit, Y/N, that puts a lot into perspective.”

“Spike in purchases?” He nods, grim. “Yeah, thought so. And, uh, Ken?”

He doesn’t say anything.

“He’s going to proxy you.”

“That fucking dirt bag,” he hisses. His entire body tenses up, but he takes a breath, controlling himself. “Thank you, Y/N. This means a lot to me.”

“I thought you deserved to know.” A soft breeze blows back your hair from your face. “And between you and me… I’m glad to lend my help whenever you need it.”

Kendall nods slowly, hands clasping together.

“I’ll make sure to remember that.”

[pedges]

heavy are the open hearted

pairing: jackson era joel miller x reader (mostly gender neutral)

summary: joel broke your heart, and his own in the process. this is how he tries to fix it.

or, just a song fic

content: song fic, angst, joel sings a song, allusions to 18+ themes (mdni), happy ending if you look at it a certain way. 2.2k words.

a/n: another drabble. i know this version of joel is cliche but. the song. the song. this is paired with this version of "these days" by nico! sorry for this, there's something nasty in the air rn.

The last person you’d expect to, walks onto the little makeshift stage in the Tipsy Bison. 

You’re not sure who suggested it a few months ago in this never ending strive for a sense of normalcy again, but having open-mic nights (without the mic) at the bar every couple of weeks didn’t sound too bad at all. In fact, they’ve been quite fun. The doctors, and the carpenters, and the farmers all have their respective, important duties. But remembering that people had lives, and hobbies, and talents beyond the ones that were necessary for survival anymore is hard nowadays, so it’s more than refreshing to hear someone play a nice song, even if the piano is untuned, or recite a poem that recounts the leftover beauty of the world. There definitely is some left, you think, most people just aren’t looking hard enough.

It’s just that, when you’re sitting at the bar, and you see Joel Miller step onto the stage with the most timid wave to the crowd, something stutters in your chest. 

He’s got his guitar slung over his shoulder and his hair looks real nice. You wonder if he’s wearing that cologne you made him. (“You seem like a lemongrass kinda guy,” you’d told him. “Do I?” he asked. You weren’t really sure until he wore it day after day. He was a lemongrass kind of guy.) Part of you doesn’t want to get close enough to figure out, the other part is aching to do nothing but that. You watch him sit down on the edge of the stool placed on the stage and bring his guitar around to his chest. It looks so natural there, like if it replaced his beating heart, nothing would change. He might even smile more. 

There’s something in the air now, at least for you. In fact, you know you’re the only one that feels it, because you know what this means for Joel and there’s only three other people in the room who do too. But it’s different for you, because Tommy is Joel’s brother, and that doesn’t count (and Maria knows by proxy). Ellie has seen him play his guitar, once, she said, but she doesn’t look anywhere nearly as shocked as you feel. As a matter of fact, when you glance her way, it shows you the little smile she’s sending you until she notices you looking and turns away. 

You swallow the sudden lump in your throat. 

“Uh, hello,” a familiar, gruff voice says that turns your attention back to the stage. “Don’t got much to say. Been thinkin’ about this song a lot lately. That’s it.” 

Joel finishes tuning his guitar, and poises himself for that first strum. It hits you like a freight train. 

You haven’t talked to him in weeks. Not since he said some horrible things, and you said some terrible things back. There’s a tiny little voice in your head telling you to get up and walk out, because whatever this is an attempt at, you don’t want to see it. But then you realize, it’s not an attempt at anything. It’s just Joel, doing what he said he couldn’t do for you, for the whole damn town. 

Joel starts to play—your heart plummets. 

Well I've been out walking,

I don't do too much talking these days

It’s not about the guitar playing—it never truly was. But when you’d asked him to play, and he refused, and you thought he was joking until you realized that he wasn’t—well, it struck something in you. It was a small thing to tip you over the edge, you see that now, but what is it they say about the straw and the camel’s back? Except you’re not a camel—you’re a human in a fragile world with a fragile heart. Maybe you should have gotten over each time Joel seemed to purposely shut you out. Maybe it was your fault, you think, letting delusions fester in your mind for well over a year, after the first year of you two dancing around one another. 

These days.

But when your first kiss turned into several more without a word being said about it, you really should have seen it coming. You both found each other carrying enough baggage to last a lifetime. You never asked to look into his, he never asked to look into yours—but there was an unspoken understanding that every time you crawled into his bed, there was a certain tenderness behind every kiss, every touch, something that could lead to a greener road. At least you thought there was. 

Theses days I seem to think a lot

about the things that I forgot to do,

and all the times I had the chance to

You thought he wore a smile reserved just for you. You thought when he told you about Sarah, that one and only time, or the way he almost lost Ellie in the worst way possible, that it was because he trusted you. You thought when he said, “I’m all yours, darlin’,” as he made a home between your thighs, he meant it. If you’d known that giving your heart to Joel Miller would have it end up shriveled at his feet as he strummed a guitar for all of Jackson to hear, you’d have shackled it to your ribcage. 

And I had a lover.

You thought you loved him, and stupidly, you thought he loved you too. If only you hadn’t asked him to play for you, or if only he had. 

It's so hard to risk another these days.

"I’m startin’ to think this isn’t about the fuckin’ guitar,” he’d said three minutes into your argument, void of any care you thought he might’ve had for you. It wasn’t. "So I’m gonna have to stop you right there, because whatever you think there is between us—" 

These days.

He didn’t say it, but he didn’t have to, confirming your worst fears. It isn’t there.

And instead of crying, instead of begging him to take back what he said, you just spat back just as coldly, “Did you ever think that if you actually let someone in, instead of acting so apathetic, and boorish, and mean, you might be a little less miserable, Joel?” 

Now if I seem to be afraid,

“If there was somethin’ worth lettin’ in, I’d do it, darlin’.” 

to live the life that I have made in song—

For the first time, the name he usually wore so tenderly on his tongue was sharp, and thorny, and painful—and you refused to let him see how much it stung. 

“Fuck you, Joel.” He started to backtrack, some Wait’s, and something like I didn’t mean—but your mind drowned it out. Because it was the only thing it could do. You left without another word. 

Well it's just that I've been losing so long.

There are two things you don’t realize right away. One—there are tears brimming your eyes as you watch Joel, watch him use a delicateness he once used to touch you, to play his guitar. And two—he’s looking right at you. Now would be the perfect moment to get up and leave, you think, but you feel absolutely paralyzed. Like the magnetism he used from the moment you first saw him has you stationed on that creaky barstool of yours. 

“Well, I'll keep on movin’,” he sings with a melancholy you understand far too well. You can feel your throat threaten to collapse in on itself, to suffocate you if you don’t make the necessary moves to survive. But you can’t, and Joel keeps singing. “Things are bound to be improvin’ these days.” 

You had told Joel once that you wondered if they’d have found each other without the apocalypse, in the quiet aftermath of another night spent in his bed. He didn’t say anything for a few long beats. You thought it was because he had nothing to say, and if he did, he just didn’t want to say it. But then he’d hummed, and ran a calloused hand up and down your arm. 

One of these days

“Think we would’ve,” he’d responded, in an unusually tender voice. “Think we would’ve in a thousand timelines.” 

That’s when you realized, in retrospect, if you had shackled up your heart, he would’ve found a way to set it free anyways. It was never yours to keep—and always his to have. 

These days I sit on cornerstones,

and count the time in quarter tones to ten, my friend

Your ears are starting to ring. There’s not a sound to be heard in the Tipsy Bison except those resounding from Joel’s guitar, and his voice. You wonder briefly if anyone else is as enraptured as you are. You know what the town thought of Joel at first, know that some of them still look at him as if he’s an enigma, because he is. But no matter what you think, what he thinks, he isn’t—not to you. 

“Don’t confront me with my failures—” You might be imagining it, you have to be, but you swear Joel’s voice cracks. His playing has slowed, and he sounds distant, yet simultaneously the closest he’s ever been. You think you might cry. “—I have not forgotten them.” 

As the last note Joel plays fades out, that silence in the room becomes deafening, just an echo of that last strum bouncing off the walls. No one speaks, or claps, or moves—like he has truly and utterly stunned the crowd because he didn’t just stitch his heart to his sleeve—he served it on a goddamn silver platter. It’s silent, until it’s not, because the scratch of your stool against the floor jostles the quietness as you make for the exit. You don’t care that everyone is about to tie two and two together, you just care about getting the hell out of there.

Surprisingly—or, unsurprisingly—Joel follows. 

As you stalk down the main dirt road, faster than ever, nothing but the lights up above leading you far away from the bar. You think for a moment you might let them lead you out of Jackson. Facing the horrors beyond these walls would be better than facing the ones within them. It isn’t long before you hear your name. 

“Wait,” Joel is saying when he gets close enough, and his hand finds your arm. It doesn’t sting the way you expect it to. “Please.” 

“No,” you grit out, turning around with a speed that shocks the both of you, and makes him draw his hand back. “No, you don’t—you don’t get to do that.” 

“I know, darlin’, I—“ 

“You don’t know, Joel, you don’t.” You hadn’t realized it, but those brimming tears finally managed to find a way to fall, staining your cheeks. “If you think for a second you can just—just sing a song, and I’d forgive you, or let you back in, you’re a bigger fool than I thought.” 

“Querida,” he says, and for a moment, he reaches out for you once more—but decides against it at the last second, and god, you can’t believe how bad you want him to. The name is enough, enough to drain your heart and fill it back up, and you think for just a second that you’re lying to the both of you. It is that easy for him, isn’t it, to drag you back in. “I’m not askin’ for your forgiveness, I’m not, I just—“ 

It briefly seems like Joel didn’t expect to make it this far, like he didn’t think you’d give him the time of day, but you are. Because you love him, you think. And the realization makes your heart cinch. You don’t respond, but you don’t walk away either. You see Joel’s throat flex with a gulp. 

“I hate the way we ended things.” 

Me too, you think, but instead you say meekly, “Didn’t think there was anything for us to end.”

There’s a flash of something in Joel’s eyes, but you feel like you’d be a fool to think it’s regret. But then again, you never wanted to let your ability to hope die in this world. That’s what got you here in the first place, but at least it reminded you that your heart still worked. Finally—finally—though, he reaches out for your hand, and you let him. He holds it there, just your fingers, gentle and a little scared. 

You realize something then. 

The song wasn’t for you—neither was the guitar playing. It was for him. Always had been, now more than ever. 

“Think you and I both know that isn’t true,” he says then, and you’ve never heard him sound so small. Your tears are dry on your cheeks now, your eyes chilled from the cool night air. You can’t help but look down at both your hands. 

“You have a funny way of showing it,” you tell him, and he doesn’t argue. 

Instead, he just clears his throat. “I am sorry.” 

“I know,” you say, because you finally do. You kind of figured it out as soon as he stepped on that stage, you just had to wrestle with it for a little bit. He brushes his thumb across the back of your hand. “I—I just don’t know when I’ll forgive you,” you continue, then look up to meet his eye. The regret is still there, but then there’s something you thought you might’ve seen in him a few times before. The hope. 

“When?” he asks. “Not if?” 

“When,” you repeat. 

The smallest, most minuscule hint of a smile draws upon his lips. Yours twitch a little too. 

“I’d like to take you on a date when you do.” For the first time in a long time, you let out a quiet laugh. 

“When I do,” you say, “you’ll be the first to know.” 

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thanks for reading, friend

[horrorgeoff]

TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT THE AU OMG

wait if brick got stuck to a pole and…. WHO IS BRICK DATING???

Brick isn't really dating anyone, it was just Sugar taking advantage of the romantic tension between him and Jo. So I guess Jo technically was in his soul according to the song.

For the second I'm going to do a full summary of the au, which will be very long so I'm putting it under the cut.

Revenge Tour AU Summary

Teams

Team Victory: Jo, Zoey, Staci, Brick, Sam

Team Amazon: Anne Maria, Dakota, Cameron, B, Sugar

Team Chris: Scott, Mike, Lightning, Topher, Dawn

Now if you see something up with this cast, it's because this cast is the entire ROTI cast plus Sugar and Topher. They're playing the roles of the World Tour newcomers here.

Episode 1/2: Zoey badly wants to be friends with Anne Maria, but is also nervous about her relationship with Vito and is worrying about it leading to Mike cheating on her with Anne Maria. But there's no way that could ever lead anywhere, right? Speaking of Anne Maria, this episode is a simple one as at the end of the episode, she quits and runs off into the Europe for a free vacation, seeing that in this AU she already won the previous season and doesn't really want to be there again. And of course, Topher gave his team the name "Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot".

Episode 3: Scott starts an alliance with Topher to control the game and pick and choose who they want off, but Sugar sees them and spies on them. Team Victory wins the pinball, which means they win the second part of the challenge by proxy. Unfortunately, Lightning costs Team Chris the challenge by trying to boss them around, sort of like how he was eliminated in All Stars. Lightning kind of needs to go early for later parts of the AU to work, so I decided to have Team Chris eliminate him here on a bad note. Team Victory gets first class.

Episode 4: You know what happens here but I'll summarise it anyway. Team Victory wins the good sled and Jo pulls for them, with B pulling for Team Amazon and Svetlana pulling for Team Chris. Team Amazon gets the shitty sled, but it doesn't matter because Sugar tricks Brick into kissing her when they're waiting together and Brick gets stuck to the pole, costing Team Victory the challenge. Jo gets super mad and frustrated at this so she gets the others to vote him off. Meanwhile, Scott is very impressed with Sugar using such a brazen strategy and getting away with it like that. Team Amazon gets first class.

Episode 5: This is still a non-elimination episode, but the main highlight is Chris showing a very clear dislike of Topher, prompting Topher to put his phone-stealing plot from PI into action, same as usual. This mainly confuses and annoys Scott as he thought he was working with him, so he turns to Mike for a temporary in-team alliance and to Sugar because of her strategy in the previous challenge, since he's Scott and he kind of needs allies. Speaking of Sugar, Sugar is currently blackmailing B into helping her with Dakota and Cameron sort of acting as her lackies. Also since Topher has largely been abandoned by Scott at this point, he grows close with Dawn this episode and he shares his plans of taking over as host with her. Team Chris wins first class and the reward.

Episode 6: This goes mostly the same as the original, but with Shawn and Jasmine as the Aftermath hosts and Lightning taking the role of Blaineley.

Episode 7: Team Amazon wins the sausage sled race. Also Sam and Dakota, who had broken up between seasons because of a bad meet-the-parents experience, got back together this episode. But not really for long, since Sugar started working her ways again with Sam and makes advances for the two to kiss multiple times. Sam declines, and says he doesn't want a repeat of Brick and he has a girlfriend. Sugar tries to badmouth Dakota to get him to be closer to her. Mike and Scott have another fight and Mike hits Scott off of the platform and knocks his tooth out as well, disqualifying Team Chris. However, Team Victory ultimately loses. Jo, Zoey and Staci find out what was happening between Sam and Sugar and vote out Sam. Team Amazon gets first class.

Episode 8: This is still a non-elimination, but Team Chris and Team Amazon team up by proxy of Scott and Sugar's alliance, and also by proxy they get lost together. The Zing-Zing actors take in Scott as their "god" and give him the gold tooth and threaten to kill everyone else, putting a question on Scott's moral character after his juicy development from the previous seasons. Dakota gets hit with Cam's Epipen and sings the "rap". Overall, Scott would've likely been voted out if it weren't a non-elimination round. Chris also revealed the phone prank on Topher at the "elimination" ceremony, sending him on a downwards spiral. Team Victory gets first class.

Episode 9: Team Chris is kind of mad at Scott right now for the previous episode. Dakota learns about what Sugar said to Sam that got him eliminated. She tries to confront her multiple times, but fails and ends up confiding in Cameron, who doesn't take her word for it. Meanwhile, Topher is doing shit all and is just sitting around crying because of Chris and Dawn is the only one who is willing to help him. He also sings "Paris in the Springtime". Sugar sees Dakota talking shit about her to Cameron and threatens Staci into blabbing about how to win the challenge since Jo had a whole game plan and everything. This leads to Team Amazon winning and Team Victory losing, with Jo and Zoey voting Staci out for blabbing. Now Team Victory is just down to Jo and Zoey. Team Amazon gets first class.

Episode 10: This is still a non-elimination, as in canon. Cameron starts to seriously consider Dakota's claims about Sugar from the previous episode and consults B about Sugar, but since B is currently being blackmailed he can't say anything. Dawn is asking Mike for help with Topher, but Mike is currently struggling with his own inner turmoil of Vito really badly missing Anne Maria to the point of trying to convince Mike to date Anne Maria instead of Zoey in the headspace. Dakota tries to solve her problem by making an alliance with Team Victory. Jo, Zoey and Dakota have the "give me back the tape" confessional scene. Team Chris gets first class and Team Amazon loses.

Episode 11: In this episode, Sugar reveals Dakota's alliance with Team Victory, putting her and the team on full blast. Dakota calls Sugar a slippery eel since she was taking her time and giving her chances and she slipped right out of her hands. Sugar chalks this up to her "magnificent brains". Topher sneaks in the cockpit and gets Chris to crash the plane, fully cementing a rift between Chris and Topher that's mostly treated as a running gag from here on. Dawn is also very concerned for Topher as he has a dark and negative aura right now. Team Chris wins and Team Amazon are sent to elimination, with Sugar getting Cam and B to vote out Dakota. After the ceremony, B finally stands up to Sugar, agrees with Dakota and breaks off their blackmail alliance.

Episode 12: The fundraiser still happens, with Lightning trying to get Sam and Dakota to physically fight to get them to make up like in Episode 6 of canon, but they just make out, angering Lightning. Staci Wheel is also a thing that happens.

Episode 13: This episode is a big one. Zoey confesses to Jo that she's actually glad that Anne Maria is gone, as the two have grown pretty close as friends over the past few episodes. But in the challenge, Team Chris finds Anne Maria hanging out at a nightclub and they kidnap her to take back into the game, which gives them the win in the challenge despite Team Victory actually technically winning. This also means that Team Amazon loses, and Sugar gets Cameron to vote out B with her. But it doesn't affect anything numbers-wise, as Chris gets Anne Maria to rejoin Team Amazon. Speaking of Anne Maria... after the elimination ceremony, Dawn goes to use the confessional and walks in on something big... Anne Maria and Mike kissing.

[skaruresonic]

Eggman and Starline for the bingo?

Eggman:

I am so normal about them - Eggman is fucking awesome, what else do you want me to say?

I have so many headcanons - don't ask me about the Cousin AU because you will get a novel's worth of headcanons

A Beast Unleashed - he scawy :3c

My friend's favorite, the blorbo by proxy - technically Eggman is in my top 3 favorites now, but I was originally neutral on him until blogs like Crusher's and Julian's showed me how awesome he really was :D

Everyone else is wrong about him - (slams fist on desk) he says 3 TIMES IN SA2 THAT HIS MOTIVE IS WORLD DOMINATION, WHERE ARE YOU GETTING "AVENGE GERALD" FROM

Canon isn't real - I'd rather believe NANANA is just a fever dream, as well as some other Egg Memos. (also finding it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that Ivo and Maria are related via two sons rather than a son, Ivo's father, and a daughter, Maria's mother. idk man that just doesn't seem right)

That's a solid design right there - and yet, drawing the goggles trips me up every time ;A;

They are So Silly - he funny and scawy :3c

Bastard - Eggmanland is so traumatizing that it gives players 'nam flashbacks. And that's just a taste of what he wants to turn the world into. Noice.

I fuck with this aesthetic so hard -

---

Starline:

I am so normal about them - if my recent posts have been any indication, it's that Simpline lives on in my heart. also the fact that he's still my AO3 avatar :B I want their gender - I wish my fashion sense was as immaculate as Starline's

Everyone else is wrong about them - he was better as an eggsimp. he needs someone more dominant to play off of. he's not a strong enough character to run the show by himself. not to mention, "Toothpaste Snively" is funny xP

Fandom is so mean smh - is it just me, or did fandom collectively decide to dunk him in the trash when Flynn did? Saying he "deserved it" and everything? Yes, he was a scumbag, but did even he deserve a gruesome death following a mental breakdown and for his life to be summed up as "big oof"? It just feels... meanspirited.

Canon isn't real if I don't look at it - Starline didn't die after breaking up with Eggman. He just went cray-cray for a while after Eggman betrayed him and he wound up crawling back to his ex, Bordeaux :)

That's a solid design right there - probably the only one that's halfway decent out of the IDW-exclusive cast lol

They are So Silly - gets caught up in an avalanche and fusses that they ruined his "perm" xP

They didn't get bullied enough - he needs to be ground under Bordeaux's stiletto :D

Squeak - his windpipe certainly squeaks when Eggman uses him as a stress ball it's fun putting him through humiliating situations. Starline degradation kink is 100000% canon. I bet the director's cut of IDW had a deleted scene where he served as Eggman's footstool

Bastard - not nearly enough to surpass Eggman's villainy, mind you - does he even have a body count? lol. lmao, even. rofl, if you will - but I have to admit kidnapping kids and brainwashing them is prooooobably not all that ethical xP

If anything happens to them I will cry - yeah I was sad when he bit the dust. what about it

[typewriter83]

Not the same anon, but I saw someone mentioning the ellie/tommy forbiden dynamic that is rare but not non-existent in ao3, and I really wanna voice my thoughts now😭

So, everyone can read everything they want, but I personally think tommy and ellie are so family coded that it's kind of impossible for me not to ser them like that❤️ I love reading about uncle tommy, and since I began reading fics of our forbidden ship I'm kind of loving the brother-in-law tommy too, like how tommy is "you might be my big brother joel, but if you two are fighting then I'm her big brother" kind of dynamic. Another reason why farm scene wrecked that part of my heart.

Sweet cub, I hope you're still around to see this reply - I didn't mean for it to go unanswered for so long, so let's dig in.

Tommy and Ellie; Ellie and Tommy... Tommy/Ellie? I've had this conversation before, we've never really discussed it openly, but I'm game because I do have thoughts.

I love the Ellie and Tommy dynamic, and the idea of Tommy getting to be Uncle Tommy again. I think Ellie learns a lot from him after settling in Jackson, and I think Tommy had a way about him that made Ellie not only feel comfortable in Jackson, but comfortable in her own shoes. If it hadn't been for the Big Lie, Tommy might have been one of the people in Ellie's life to help her see just how valuable she was to the community just for being who she is. I think Tommy genuinely cares for Ellie the way that he cared for Sarah; Ellie is a part of his family and he's not just protective of her, he takes her under his wing. I would have loved to see more development of that relationship in the game, and it's fun to tackle it in fic.

I also love your analysis of it - "you might be my big brother, but you might as well just go on and see me as her big brother." - and this works in canon and on the forbidden ship. The problem ultimately, is that Ellie is just so broken - much like Joel - and after losing Joel, it breaks Tommy and there's no one left to heal either of them. Regardless of how Tommy was a pillar of Jackson, or how much trauma Joel had been through, Joel was still the glue that held the family together - much to Maria's chagrin, I'm sure.

So, the idea of Tommy/Ellie is even more rare than Joel/Ellie. As of October 20, there are 459 Joel/Ellie stories, and 15 Tommy/Ellie - it's rare. There are a few different takes on the idea, just like there are a few different takes on the Joel/Ellie idea - and honestly, the one that makes the "most sense" to me (does anything make sense after the end of the world?) is a grieving Ellie and Tommy. Name one person in TLOU who has good coping skills - I'll wait. Tommy and Ellie would be no different. Those two definitely have poor coping skills and would be grieving over losing Joel and have a slim possibility of falling into each other's arms.

A friend of mine pointed out - and if she wants to comment here and come forward, she knows she's welcome to - that another "plausible scenario" is after the Big Lie is revealed, Ellie is angry and hurt and bitter and has bad coping skills. She's so mad at Joel, she can't have him but she needs him, but she hates him so... she takes the proxy. Is he married? Yup. Is it problematic? What isn't? Does it make the one she wants crazy with jealousy? Hello?

So... yeah, we went there.

Anyone have anything to add?

🫶🏻

[themovieblogonline]

FROM Season 1 Episode 1: DEEP DIVE and Reaction

Thank you thank you thank you. If you’re here then that means that you've successfully taken the FROM Challenge. I’m your host, Anthony, and I will do my best to be your guide in this “IDK WTF is going on show” FROM. We are here to break down and recap FROM Season 1 Episode 1 of this incredible show and provide a deep dive and close analysis of all of the clues and symbolism in the show to get a better understanding of what is happening.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiRqiv0NucY FROM Season 1 Episode 1 This first episode is titled “Long Day’s Journey Into Night” which is also the title of a 1956 Play by writer Eugene O’Neill. It is considered the magnum opus of O’Neill and also one of the great American plays of the 20th century. The play takes place on a single day in August 1912. The setting is Monte Cristo Cottage, the seaside home of the Tyrones in Connecticut. The four main characters are the semi-autobiographical representations of O'Neill, his older brother, and their parents. The play portrays a family struggling to grapple with the realities and consequences of each member's failings. The parents and two sons blame and resent each other for various reasons; bitterness and jealousy serve as proxies for ultimately failed attempts at tenderness and compassion. The family's enduring emotional and psychic stress is fueled by their shared self-analysis, combined with articulate honesty. The story deals with addiction, unfulfilled dreams, moral flaws, and the struggle of family relationships. Synopsis: FROM unravels the mystery of a nightmarish town in middle America that traps all those who enter. As the unwilling residents fight to keep a sense of normalcy and search for a way out, they must also survive the threats of the surrounding forest; including the terrifying creatures that come out when the sun goes down. The series stars Harold Perrineau (Lost) leading an ensemble cast that includes Catalina Sandino Moreno (Maria Full of Grace, The Affair), Eion Bailey (Band of Brothers, Once Upon a Time), Hannah Cheramy (Under Wraps, Van Helsing), Simon Webster (Strays), Ricky He (The Good Doctor), Chloe Van Landschoot (Charity, Skin), Corteon Moore (Utopia Falls), Pegah Ghafoori (The Perfect Wedding), David Alpay (Castle Rock), Elizabeth Saunders (Clarice), Elizabeth Moy and Avery Konrad (Honor Society). New series regulars joining Season 2 include Scott McCord (East of Middle West), Nathan D. Simmons (Diggstown, This Hour Has 22 Minutes), Kaelen Ohm (Hit & Run, Eumenides Falls), Angela Moore (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Maid), AJ Simmons (Reacher) and Deborah Grover (My Next Door Nightmare, Jann). Read the full article

[portraitofwhite]

fatamoru spoilers (up to final door)

i want to talk about… the unexpected dynamics! (or interpretation) and also characters relationship with hope. I NEED TO RANT!!

the last door

very obviously, pauline/maria first as childhood friends strikes first. i also appreciated pauline teasing mell (maybe on the meta level that’s why javi from door 2 isn’t here—or on the story level his soul possibly wasn’t bound to the mansion but rather circumstances, being here at the right time or something or the sort). and the discussion between michel/yukimasa, bonding over their ‘unusual’ appearance and resulting weird looks or rejection.

michel and morgana

it makes me wanna bawl when i think about the possible innuendo that michel eventually views morgana as a friend but also an extension of his family. i didn’t catch this at first read but the fact that he is willing to depict her along him and his brothers on georges’ painting… fatamoru hits very strongly even in its details. i’m such a sucker for the ‘found family’ trope—kindred spirits where blood isn’t what ties them together in the first place.

i won’t go back on morgana’s admiration (or should i say idolization? adoration?) for michel, as her severed soul is modeled after him and her saintly persona, that is something the og game describes well. i just want to point out one thing: morgana’s christian upbringing and beliefs from her time prevent her from cursing her birth mother and other stuff (e.g. the WHG reminding God’s teaching about killing oneself). she does not only project her ideal self on michel, but also her desires by proxy—part of why she’s so insistent on him deserving revenge on the Bollingers and not understanding why he wouldn’t find joy in it.

giselle and witch morgana

the cocoon concept from hayden (hiding your true self and risking to lose yourself to your persona) and morgana’s gaslighting to the maid weren’t ultimately good and broke her spirit, but at the same time i don’t think they were ill-intentioned—that’s what i really like about this novel. morgana’s natural way of viewing the world, as a bleak and painful place where smiles are filled with betrayal, is very pessimistic, but that’s how she copes and somehow appears as the best way of thinking. she tries to convey those beliefs into the maid, out of annoyance (bc giselle is very lighthearted and optimistic as it gets) at first. however, she takes a liking to her. it is a way to ‘protect’ giselle’s heart, just like the cocoon.

morgana does not act in giselle’s best interest, she trusts that what worked for her will also do the job for her attendant, but that’s what breaks giselle in the end. because the latter grows in hope, in light, in truth ; not in illusions and dissociation (e.g. morgana’s fractured soul resulting in the WHG’s creation, and convincing herself she doesn’t belong in the realm of humans—both as a saint and witch). morgana is being self-conceited, to the point that her idea of ‘helping’ is twisting giselle’s core into the maid and discarding humanity.

despair truly results in tunnel vision and losing sight of what you are in essence, even accepting the horrors. that is something that is very well explored by all the characters in fata morgana.

i do find morgana/giselle’s relationship very interesting. the witch tries to mold giselle into her puppet, the conductor of the mansion’s tragedies, and ultimately as an observer to distance herself from the horrors (hence the famous ‘you were able to bear them because they weren’t your tragedies’). morgana calls giselle foolish a few memorable times, and while i think she means it, there’s also a tinge of affection? plus the door 4 aka illusion door to make everyone feel better, was also made for giselle… it’s complicated.

resistance

morgana is still very firmly opposed to michel and giselle’s reunion at first: what place does happiness have in this mansion? what do they have that she does not and makes it okay? the moment she’d reach the answer, it would mean that she is wrong for not casting aside her spitefulness. that is why she doesn’t want it.

the witch ultimately longs for companionship, she even makes a deal to both of them to curse the three men alongside her. she wants to partake in despair. she believes that is what is right.

but neither michel nor giselle were fit for that role, for they are compassionate, for they were able to give each other a second chance and believe in a newfound love. they do not hold a grudge, they do not find solace in that, that is why it fails!

despite their failings, they’re able to communicate. they are far from being perfect (their misunderstandings stem from their insecurities and secrets), but they’re able to reassure each other, they’re willing to listen and accept the stories of other people. that’s how they’re able to save morgana and the souls.

that makes me think of the key difference between morgana and michel/giselle. the later, with their own share of suffering and traumas, are willing to cast aside their bitterness and focus on finding new ways to live, for different reasons.

michel is forgiving, as long as the people who wrong him expressed their will to repent. he will treasure the good memories, and not let traumas tarnish them: he will try to understand.

giselle does not hold a grudge because she wants to put that energy elsewhere—into reconstructing herself and enjoying life to the fullest. that is true to her character.

to conclude

i love how each person has a very legitimate, and sensible motivation and do not excuse everything. and how you cannot equate characters to their wrongs ; while also holding them accountable for what they’ve done. you can reason other people’s pain, while also respecting yourself. a simple message, yet, very difficult to deliver rightly. and fatamoru just does that, it trusts you to understand it.

[sosa-royals]

Prince Matthew: Hello my love,

Princess Isabella: Hi

Prince Matthew: Are you alright?

Princess Isabella: I don’t know... am I?

Prince Matthew: What’s on your mind?

Princess Isabella: I was talking to Maria when we were out the other day. Maria Aisha, I mean.

Prince Matthew: Yes, I noticed

Princess Isabella: She said something concerning about Liliana

Prince Matthew: Which is?

Princess Isabella: She said that Liliana and Edmund, the Duke of Bordeaux used to date

Prince Matthew: What? How?

Princess Isabella: She apparently found a picture of the two of them together in Edmund’s bedroom

Prince Matthew: Normally, I would tell you that it’s probably not a big deal. They just used to date and broke up, things like that happen.

Princess Isabella: But?

Prince Matthew: But you sound like you can’t let this go. And that gut instinct of yours is one of the many reasons I married you in the first place.

Princess Isabella: What should I do?

Prince Matthew: Go see Robyn tomorrow. She might know something that will help

Robyn: You’re back again so soon your highness?

Princess Isabella: I’m afraid so. I’ve just obtained some new information and I need some mroe insight into it before I can put it out of my mind. 

Robyn: About Liliana

Princess Isabella: Yes

Robyn: We’ve continued to dig up her past, actually we’ve never stopped digging. We’ve discovered that she was a traveler when she was younger with a severe case of Wanderlust. She’s been everywhere within our simverse, but our information is limited with regards to where she’s been outside the simverse.  

Princess Isabella: Well, I can add to that. According to my goddaughter, Liliana used to be an intern for Empress Katalina in Pierreland. She also used to be in a relationship with the Duke of Bordeaux and it apparently didn’t end well. How did all this get past you?

Cian: Honestly, Princess Isabella, the Institution is more or less a flawless organisation within this simverse

Robyn: But our influence becomes limited when we attempt to venture outside our simverse. It is something that would need to be done carefully. The last thing we’d want is another country thinking we were sending spies into their territory. 

Princess Isabella: So if I want information from Pierreland, I’ll have to reach out myself

Robyn: You should consider a state visit to Pierreland to do some digging.

Princess Isabella: I’m worried about leaving for too long. I can’t trust Liliana not to make a move when I’m gone and I can’t trust Simon either not to mess things up even more. I’d rather someone from Pierreland came here instead. 

Cian: Or we could send a proxy in your name. As long as the Emperor and Empress are informed, they should be able to get in with no problem. 

Princess Isabella: ...you said Liliana travelled a lot... where exactly did she go?

Robyn: She most frequently visited Saliceau, Warborough, Pierreland, Foten and Parrell Lake. 

Cian: We did an analysis of her travels and discovered that her most frequented locations formed a star-formation. And... upon closer inspection it seemed as though from each of these locations, it would be easy for anyone to reach the centre of the star-formation without a traceable means of transportation like bus, ship, train or plane.

Princess Isabella: And where exactly is the centre of this star?

Robyn: (sighs) It’s Dessous

Princess Isabella: And you didn’t think to mention this, Robyn!?

Robyn: Princess-

Cian: Robyn, calm down

Princess Isabella: If we had known this earlier-

Cian: It’s taken us a lot of time and effort to obtain the information that we have. Like I said, we’re limited outside our simverse and the Vitali family are very exclusive. It’s been near impossible to squeeze out any information, or even to plan spies ourselves.  

Princess Isabella: (sighs) Well now we know there’s a high possibility that Liliana has been incontact with Ferdinand and his family this whole time, but we still aren’t completely sure why

Cian: We’ll look into it

Princess Isabella: Good

Robyn: ...

Princess Isabella: Robyn, are you okay? You’re terribly forgetful nowadays and not as sharp as you used to be

Robyn: I’m sorry princess

Princess Isabella: You’re not sick are you?

Robyn: Not exactly

Cian: Robyn has just been very stressed lately. She and I have recently been invovled in a high priority but also high risk project that if successful, could exponentially strengthen The Institution

Princess Isabella: What is this project?

Cian: It is-

Robyn: What he means Your highness is that I’m pregnant. And it’s Cian’s.

Princess Isabella: Wow, congratulations

Robyn: It was very unexpected. Especially considering my age

Cian: But it’s the perfect way to strengthen the future of the Institution. Robyn and I are the most capable and intelligent legislators and a combination of our DNA would create an unstoppable force for the monarchy

Princess Isabella: This is a child Cian, not a project

Cian: Who says it can’t be both?

Robyn: Anyway, because of my condition, Cian has been helping me watch over Saliceau as best as he can while things are still quite quiet in Warborough. But I must admit I’m not as sharp as I used to be, I’m sorry.

Princess Isabella: I understand that this is a high risk pregnancy so I apologise for giving you such a hard time. but the work needs to be done, so Cian I hope I can rely on you for this.

Cian: Of course your highness

Princess Isabella: Good. And again, congratulations both of you

Robyn & Cian: Thank you your highness

Next | Previous

[crusherthedoctor]

Let’s try this again...

So for those of you who can’t currently see asks, I was informed in an ask about this statement by Ian Flynn in regards to why IDW Eggman acted the opposite of a respectable, well-characterized Eggman during the zombot arc:

Needless to say, this Steamed my Hams. Here’s why. (Credit to @beevean​ and @colony-drop-program​ for several additional points.)

In SA1, Eggman was constantly one step ahead of the heroes by swiping their emeralds, had both Chaos and the Egg Carrier operating at the same time, resorted to a missile when both were seemingly dealt with (which only turned out to be a dud cause of bad luck), and revealed a second Egg Carrier in the event that Chaos would betray him. And in the case of the missile - he was clearly at his wit’s end by that point, and suicide attacks on the brink of a villainous breakdown are common among many villains, including clever schemers... like Eggman.

In SA2, Eggman suspected there was a fake emerald in the mist that the heroes wanted to use to trick him, so he set up a situation perfectly in a way that would reveal which one it is.

In Battle, he was able to drive Emerl insane with energy in case the robot defeated him in battle.

In Unleashed, the game starts with Eggman setting up a trap based on the expectation that he would know exactly how Sonic (or rather, Super Sonic) would react, and it worked flawlessly. And upon learning that Dark Gaia woke up too early and his spawn were scattered all across the planet, Eggman managed to lure Dark Gaia spawn to him, and he still able to create Eggmanland and did his best to prevent Sonic from reaching the final temple.

Even in ‘06, he had that trap where he sent Sonic and Co to the future. It may have relied on the heroes being stupid, but it still counts as Eggman preparing for something.

Even in Heroes, arguably his most pathetic role in the game canon due to being locked in a room by his own creation for the whole game, he still had the initiative to hire the Chaotix into getting him out. And Metal Sonic’s flaws with his own plan... are Metal Sonic’s. Not Eggman’s. Metal Sonic didn’t take control of Eggman’s plan, he came up with his own plan to begin with. Metal’s failings in Heroes are not in any way, shape or form the fault of Ivo’s, and I don’t know why this example was even mentioned.

And keep in mind, these are just the games where Eggman was still upstaged. We’re not even going into the games that KEPT him as the top dog from start to finish, like in Sonic 3 & Knuckles where he’s constantly doing everything he can to stall you from reaching the Death Egg (which implies planning at least some of it in advance), Rush Adventure where he created the pirates as a proxy to search out the Jeweled Scepter, Colours where he kept his mind control cannon a secret, Generations where he teamed up with his past self in order to tame the Time Eater, Lost World where he brought a Cacophonic Conch with him to subjugate the Deadly Six, then bounced his way back up even after they stole his tech, and everything in Forces (storing Phantom Ruby copies, the artificial sun plot in case the Death Egg was destroyed, being able to dispose of Infinite in case he acted up, keeping the real Phantom Ruby for himself, even having a second mech inside the first mech in case the latter was destroyed).

Hell, the entire reason he set up a racing tournament in the original Sonic Riders was so that he could uncover the Babylon Garden.

And didn’t Flynn himself write that Mega Drive comic from a while back? The one where Eggman made a similar SA2-style bargain ploy for the last Ancient Gear, only to then reveal he had the other Gears already once he got it?

Eggman may be careless at times, with occasional details, but he’s not a Mephiles-tier moron who doesn’t understand the concept of a plan or strategy. He’s a mastermind, with many elaborate plots over the years to live up to that title, and when he’s not planning things out in advance, he’s just as quick to improvise or take advantage of the situation as best as he can.

He knew what would happen with Chaos upon feeding him Chaos Emeralds, because...

He knew something would happen with Dark Gaia, because...

(He also proceeded to kidnap Professor Pickle for the specific purpose of obtaining even more information on the subject.)

And while he may not have known exactly what Project Shadow was at the time, he still knew its existence in the first place (and by proxy, the ARK’s existence), because...

...And he brought a Chaos Emerald along with him. And knew the password, “Maria”.

There is no excuse for the doctor to just shrug and do absolutely nothing upon being informed about a potential error in his plan. The fact that Ian Flynn - a man who has worked with this character for over a decade, and thus by all means should know this character by the back of his hand - completely disregards this official, canonical element of the main villain of a 30 year old franchise, only makes me less willing to trust any of the characters’ handling under his pen. And that’s putting aside how questionably handled everyone else has been in IDW.

And you might say “But it’s IDW, it’s a different interpretation”. But here’s the thing: it’s following off of Forces, a game where Eggman was at his brilliant best. There’s no way you can go from his backup-plan-after-backup-plan strategy from that game, to his DarkSydePhil-tier “nothing I could do dood” showing in this comic, and chalk it up to anything other than, at best, an extreme display of inconsistency. And as far as we know, this isn’t even the cause of those mandates that everyone loves to point to... this was all Flynn.

So yes. If I wasn’t certain that Flynn’s widespread fandom status as the Best Sonic Writer of all time, every time, was just a teensy, tiny bit exaggerated... I am now. I may be an Eggman fan, so naturally that does fuel my annoyance with his statement on the doc, but I’d be just as annoyed if it were any other character who was blatantly misinterpreted to this degree, even if it were a character I was apathetic to or even flat out disliked.

Best Writers™ do not selectively choose how characters from long lasting IPs act. You can experiment with a character. You can play around with a character’s traits. But you can’t turn a character completely inside out and expect it to work just like that.

It doesn’t work.

/RantOver

[theseerasures]

I'm loving your "I was right" energy so: where do YOU think everyone will be at the end of the volume?

y’all are REALLY just encouraging me at this point, aren’t you? who knew my supervillain origin story would be getting exactly what i want in a televisions

E(VACUO)TION 2021: CALL NOW TO VOTE

IN VACUO

Oscar, Ren, and Emerald are stuck there for the duration. even if they had a way to go back, they’re a tad busy right now.

IN SUPERHELL

Yang is same and same.

AT AND AROUND GRAND CENTRAL STATION

Ruby, Weiss, and Blake are going to superhell. the only reason i’m a fraction less sure of this than with Team Green is that Team Green is already there. my prediction--and preference--is that they decide to voluntarily go after the climactic showdown wraps up, but i also have no idea how THAT’S going to happen, so.

Fiona, Joanna, and May are going to Vacuo. they’ve taken on the duty of protecting Mantle, and Mantle is going to be in Vacuo. the only reason they’d go back to Mantle-the-place is for Robyn, but a) they don’t know that Robyn is currently dogfighting with her minivan over Mantle’s skies, and b) even if they did know, that the Huntresses can and will work autonomously without their leader has been emphasized this whole season.

Penny is...likely to be in Vacuo. i won’t completely write off the chance that she joins RWB in superhell, but i also don’t think it’s going to happen. if anyone is RWBY’s fifth it’s Penny Polendina, but going to superhell just feels like a RWBY classic exclusive trip to me. Penny loves her friends, but she’s also a Maiden with a duty to Remnant. she set that aside for Yang in Worthy, and that was VERY MUCH a mistake, so having her double down on it when it’s not a heat of the moment thing feels wrong.

Jaune and Nora are likely to be in Vacuo as well. they’re not going to superhell, and the only reason they’d be in Atlas is if the portals closed before they could get there. another Renora separation would certainly be ripe for juicy angst, but right on the heels of them deciding to be independent together it feels arbitrarily backslide-y. my guess is we have another “so long for now” scene between Ruby and Jaune a la season 6, and JNPER as a whole goes with Penny to lay the groundwork for Vacuo.

Cinder, Neo, the Lamp, and the Staff: i’ve tentatively grouped them all together because i think they will all be in Atlas, but how much i’m certain of that varies. Cinder is not going to Vacuo; her primary objective is the Staff and even if Penny manages to take it through a portal there’s no way for Cinder to hide her presence, and we’re not going to end the season mid-brawl. Neo...might end up in Vacuo if someone just kicks her through in all the chaos, because she can stealth it up a lot better than the living fire tornado. i’m not going to discount the idea that one or both of them end up in superhell, but that seemed a lot more likely when we thought RWBY would fall, instead of jump. finding each other and exploring whatever newfangled dimension they end up in feels like more than enough plot without Team Rocket trying to kill them all the time in it. the Lamp is likely to stay where it is, with Neo, since it’s a much lower priority target now. the Staff...is likely to end up with Cinder (and by proxy Salem), if only because having a do-anything device (even with its limitations) feels like it would make certain logistical issues in Vacuo much easier than they should be (give me the forbidden refugee narrative Mr. Teeth do it do it)

LAST SEEN AROUND SOLITAS

Pietro and Maria are still on Amity! we haven’t seen them for this entire back half, and my guess is that we still won’t in the finale. odds are that if anyone has already rendezvoused with the mythical reinforcements from Menagerie, they have, and when folks get wind of what the fuck is happening (which...could take a while, depending on how/if they take care of Watts) they’ll take the long way to Vacuo, whereupon Pietro will meet up with Penny again and our hearts will collectively explode from joy and radiant warmth.

IN ATLAS/MANTLE

Salem is going to respawn on Atlas. what shape Atlas is going to be in when she does is...who the fuck knows, honestly.

Watts and Ironwood are not leaving Atlas. my guess is James Ironwood will breathe his last before the portals even close. the same...might be true of Watts, because i still lean towards Cinder did him a sabotage, but even if he lives to the end of the season he’s not leaving Salem’s side, and Salem is on Atlas.

Winter...is not leaving Atlas. out of everyone who i think will survive to season’s end on this side of the portal, this one is the one i’m most sure of. if Winter were going to step through the portal the story would have already let her; there was no reason she and Ironwood couldn’t have had their showdown in a separate corner of Grand Central Station instead of right next to its entrance. people have talked about the angst potential of Winter walking in just as Weiss takes the plunge, but tbh this again worked better when we thought Weiss was going fall. if Weiss is jumping then it just turns into a locked-out-of-the-loop thing that can get immediately resolved as soon as Winter talks to...i dunno, anyone? and on a metaphorical level: almost-Maidens don’t make it to the Promised Land. not through the easy way.

Willow, Whitley, and Klein are likely going to be in Vacuo. i’m not going to completely rule out “Klein Sieben runs James Ironwood over with a fucking airship,” but...okay, i am, for the Winter reasons above. there’s just no reason for them to stick around in Atlas when they know that in all likelihood Atlas is going to be rubble (it probably won’t be, but they don’t know that). this means that after their fleeting reconciliation all the Schnees will once again be scattered to the winds, and Whitley is--again--alone with Willow. at least Klein’s here this time.

Qrow, Robyn, and the AceOps: i don’t actually think ALL of them will be stranded in Atlas/Mantle, but some of them will be. if Marrow and Elm are still in Atlas they’ll make it to Vacuo, but if not things are dicier for them. Harriet and Vine are more likely to stay, but the long and short of it is that the AceOps might be split between continents. as much as i desperately want Robyn go to Vacuo so the rest of the Happy Huntresses can do the three-on-one version of the Madagascar hug scene...the thing about Robyn, in this season especially, is that she forms teams and coalitions wherever she goes. that would be useful in Vacuo, but it would also be useful for organizing the leftover stranded civilians and mediating whatever tensions might bubble up, should some or all of the AceOps stick around. i don’t see Qrow breaking off from Robyn for the time being, so: if Robyn stays he stays, and if he stays Harriet is also likely to stay. depending on how the “Salem in Atlas” plot shakes down (or opens), they might also join up with whoever signed Ghira’s Change.org petition this time. interestingly, this might mean that if/when Tai and Raven join up none of TRQ will know that...well, that both their kids are dead. (well. Raven might.)

and...that’s everyone, i think. see you Saturday, when all of this will be proven wrong because Salem is actually already in Vacuo and has turned Shade Academy into Mecha Godzilla

[darter-blue]

For my Christmas prompt challenge with @martelldoran and @kalee60

Prompt: Mistletoe

Find it here on ao3

Bucky is not having the best time.

Objectively, looking back at some of his past experiences, this should be a cake walk. He can catalogue the following as evidence: He is not tied down. He is not under duress. He is not fighting for air. He does not have any kind of electrode, or electrical device strapped to or near his body. He is not being put into cryogenic storage. He has not been given a gun, a knife, and a mission to use those weapons to hurt, maim or kill.

He is not being hurt, maimed or killed.

And the big one, the kicker; he is not alone.

But. Therein lies the problem.

It’s true that Bucky craves company, the warmth of a body close by, the comforting sound of someone else's breathing, the weight of their presence in a room. But he can only handle one or two people at the best of times. At the worst of times, well, he can barely handle himself, it’s no good for anyone else to be near him.

And this, right now - well there have to be close to a hundred people in this room.

Admittedly it's a large room. Of course it is, it's Tony's tower. The room is open to the entire space of this floor, and split level. But still. It's loud and it's crowded, and the exits are compromised, and Bucky hates it. He hates it.

And Steve. Steve isn't here yet. He was supposed to be here an hour ago. He was supposed to be here to make an appearance, to be a team player, smile happily and accept Christmas gifts and drink the spiced wine and then rescue his old friend Bucky from the smothering effect of too many people and not enough air.

But he's not here. He's stuck at a press event for the Avengers, and has sent Bucky a text to say that he would be there soon, to please wait for him, that it had been too long since he's seen him and also he needs a good excuse to get out of the party early.

What better excuse is there than a broken down ex-assassin with proximity issues and a desperate need to get home to his (too) quiet, park slope apartment.

So. Bucky is stuck until Steve arrives.

He managed to get here on his own, though, so at least he can tick that box off his recovery list. Today he performed grown-up-human-being tasks. He has made polite conversation with people he doesn't know well enough to panic on, he's managed to keep down three out of three of the hors d'oeuvres he's picked from passing plates, and he's managed not to slip into staring his murder glare at anyone, not to scare the shit out of Tony's guests, or the wait staff, or the other Avengers. So he will be patting himself on the back tonight, perhaps he can look back and see the pain as being worth the sense of accomplishment.

Bucky is especially proud that he's managed to dress festively, as requested, in a dark green knitted sweater covered in tiny reindeer, a red knit cap to keep his head warm and red and white Christmas mittens that, despite his compulsion to do otherwise, he removed upon entering. Shortly before he sat down at the couch he quietly pulled into this corner. They are sitting next to him, folded, on the coffee table. Next to his eggnog and the helmet for his motorcycle.

Natasha has been swinging by his spot every twenty minutes to gauge his emotional state, and each time she looks more ready to pull him up and force him to mingle. So far Bucky’s face has persuaded her to avoid the inclination.

Someone finally does collapse into the seat next to him, but it's not Nat and it's not Steve. It's the kid, Wanda, with her long auburn hair and her big eyes and her haunted expression.

'Is it okay if I sit here?' she asks, looking over at Bucky, perched on the end of the cushion like she's ready to jump up at the slightest sign that Bucky doesn't want her there.

And though he’s terrible at talking to people (he remembers fleetingly, that he was good at it once) he can’t deny that the proximity, the rhythmic sound of her breathing, the heartbeat Bucky's enhanced ears can hear, nice and steady; it all serves as a balm for the excessive number of people shouting and laughing and eating around him.

'Sure, you can sit there,' Bucky answers, flicking his eyes up and down Wanda's outfit. Green, red and white striped stockings with a short red pinafore dress over a green long sleeved t-shirt. 'I like your outfit. Festive.'

'Oh,' she says, looking down at herself, 'Yes, well. This is my first ever Christmas, so I'm taking it very seriously.'

'Ah,' Bucky says, not wanting to poke too hard at the subject, lest she not wish to open up, 'It's my first Christmas for the last seventy years or so. I went a bit overboard with festive as well.'

'Are you holding up okay?' Wanda asks, a lilt to her accent, her head cocked slightly to one side. 'Did you need anything?'

'I'm okay,' Bucky lies, 'I'm just… laying low.'

'I can see that, ' Wanda smiles as she looks over the couch he stole away to hide on, 'But it's good that you're here.'

'Thanks, kid,' and he means it. There's few people in the world who can understand what it's like to live in Bucky's head. He's lucky that two of them happen to be here tonight, keeping an eye on him.

And of course now that Bucky has found someone to talk to, Steve finally arrives. When the way Bucky's eyes will seek him out, will track him, is made even more obvious by the fact that it stops him mid conversation. And though he's conscious that Wanda is watching him, Bucky can't help the laugh that escapes him at the sight of Steve in his "festive" outfit.

He has put zero thought into it, it's just his regular outfit, blue jeans and a too tight blue dress shirt, but with the addition of a headband with some kind of green and red decoration fastened to a wire, standing straight up over Steve's head.

And Bucky would be excusing himself to get up and go over to him, only it seems like suddenly every other guest at the party has had the same idea. Bucky knows that Steve is a favourite, that people flock to him. Bucky is well acquainted with the particular brand of magnetism that Steve has possessed his entire life. But this is different.

Every new person that greets Steve is reaching up to kiss him. Most people are pressing rosy Cheeks to Steve's and planting a kiss there. But every so often someone will bypass Steve's offered cheek and press their lips to his lips. Lips plump and pink and now accosted. Lips that Bucky has been staring at since Steve walked in the door. Lips that he's always had trouble looking away from.

But Bucky’s indecision is a moot point now. Steve has spotted him tucked away in the corner with Wanda and smiles. He says something low and serious to Sam, on Steve’s right, their heads bent forward and their shoulders touching. And then Steve laughs and looks up, claps Sam on the shoulder and makes a beeline for Bucky. Scattering people as he wades through them, singular target now in sight.

He gets three feet from Bucky and then pauses. Standing straight and looming over Bucky and Wanda. Looking between the two of them nervously.

'Hey Buck, sorry I'm so late.'

'It's no problem, Steve,’ Bucky says, nervous by proxy, ‘Wanda's been keeping me company.'

'That’s good, you look good. I love the sweater, where did you find it? Have you been shopping?'

Bucky has to admit, this level of nervousness is unusual even for Steve. 'No I made this,' he says, pulling at the knit, ‘I’ve been knitting as part of my therapy.’

'You made that, Buck?' Steve asks, strange half smile on his face.

'Yeah… it's a work in progress.' He dropped a few stitches, it's a little uneven at the neckline, but it fits and it's warm, so Bucky is happy with it.

'No, I love it.'

And Bucky doesn't like the fluttery feeling those words set off in his stomach. He tries to deflect. 'What about you?' Bucky asks.

'What about me?'

'What's with this terrible excuse for a festive outfit, some holly or whatever over your head?'

'Oh you mean the mistletoe?' And Steve eyes are darting away from Bucky, his feet are scuffing the ground.

'Ah,' Bucky says, suddenly understanding the rush to get to Steve so they could kiss him, 'You did that on purpose?' He only asks, because normally Steve hates to be kissed, or touched, or be the center of attention. Also it's fun to watch Steve blush. Always has been.

'Well, I mean. yes. It's festive! I ran out of time to implement my first plan, this was a back up.' Steve is getting more flustered with every word.

'It's cute,’ Bucky says, making light of it, worried Steve might spontaneously combust with this sudden onset of nerves, ‘And there are people lining up over there to actually kiss you. Seems like a good plan...'

'I didn't really... I mean I didn't want...' Steve can’t seem to find the words he's looking for, and Wanda looks between the two of them and stands up from her chair.

'I have to go find Maria, come and say goodbye to me before you head off, okay Bucky?' Wanda asks, already backing away from where Steve and Bucky are speaking.

'I will,' Bucky calls out after her, and she salutes him sloppily before turning away.

'Sweet kid,' Bucky says, looking up at Steve, 'So sorry, what's with the "kiss me" sign that you've decided to dress in for this party?'

'It's not a- Listen I hadn't exactly thought this through, okay?'

'Sure, that sounds just like you,' Bucky says with a laugh.

'I just wanted, I just thought, it might be nice to have an excuse to-' Steve cuts himself off by closing his mouth with a snap.

'An excuse to kiss somebody?' Bucky asks. And this time the laugh is fake. Because Bucky doesn't want to know who Steve has his eye on. Who Steve wants an excuse to kiss at this party. Stark knows a lot of pretty people. Although for a moment Bucky is frozen by the idea that it might be Sam. The two of them are close in a way that makes Bucky's heart hurt a little. But that's not his job any more. It's not his spot. He's not Captain America's right hand man. He doesn't have Steve's six. Sam has that now.

God he hopes it's not Sam.

(He likes Sam, he does, but he can’t ignore Sam. He would have front row seats to watch the whole thing unfold).

Whoever it is, Steve has gone bright red. It shouldn't be so fucking gorgeous, the red flush that creeps up into his cheeks, that spreads down his neck, out to his ears. His few freckles stand out starker against the flush and he looks younger. More innocent. More like the Stevie that Bucky still has patchy memories of, from before the war. Before Steve got big.

'G-ah,' Steve starts with a strangled cough, 'No it's... Well I mean yes but I...' Steve looks around, scanning the room and his eyes land back on Bucky, wide and terrified.

'Are they here, Steve?'

And Steve nods slowly, reluctantly.

'Do you need me to go with you?' He asks, like maybe Steve needs a wingman. Though god knows, from what Bucky remembers, he was never very good at it in the past (which was potentially deliberate on Bucky's part, if the emotions attached to those faded memories are anything to go by).

'No Bucky, I...'

'If you're chickening out you can always just take the thing off your head, Steve, no sense getting worked up about it.' It's criminal, the relief Bucky is feeling at the idea that Steve might not be able to go through with it.

' No Buck. I just - will you give me a second to figure this out,' Steve says, and he steps closer as he speaks, his words almost a plea, the way he's looking at Bucky.

And Bucky has to nod, because he never could deny Steve anything.

Steve steps closer still, right in front of where Bucky is sitting in his chair, and then drops to his knees in front of Bucky. Which... has Bucky raising an eyebrow. Has him moving forward in his seat to lean into Steve's space, find out why he's looking at Bucky like that.

When Steve reaches across with his big hands to take a hold of Bucky's and rest them on Bucky's knees, it's time for Bucky to start asking questions.

'Stevie, what is it?'

'It's you, Buck.'

'What's me?' Bucky asks, and the worry that he might have done something to warrant this bizarre behaviour is clear in Bucky's voice.

But Steve just smiles and shakes his head. 'Oh Buck,'  he says, leaning impossibly closer, 'It's for you . The mistletoe,' and Steve looks down, his ridiculous eyelashes fanning across his cheeks as he does, and then up again, to fix Bucky with that bright blue stare, 'The mistletoe is for you .'

Wait. What? Bucky has to process that. He has to take a moment to hold that thought in his mind and turn it around until it makes sense. The mistletoe is for Bucky?

'You want...' Bucky stares into Steve's eyes and now that he's looking for it, sees the same stress, the same fear in Steve's expression as he imagines can be seen on his own, 'You want to kiss me , Stevie?'

And Steve sighs a puff of air with relief. 'Yeah Buck, that's exactly what I want.'

And Bucky. Bucky doesn't wait a second longer. He shifts further forward and pulls Steve in sharply by their clasped hands. Steve lets go to catch himself on Bucky's shoulders, and Bucky lifts his free hand to cup it against Steve's cheek. 'Me too, Stevie,' Bucky says, sighing the words into Steve's lips, they're so close to touching, 'I want that too.' And he tilts his chin up to meet Steve's mouth, living out this moment he’s been dreaming of for too many lifetimes. He fits his lips to Steve's, opens into him, draws Steve in with the slight press of his tongue, sucks Steve's bottom lip in and bites down on it gently.

And Steve, Steve pushes back against Bucky. With a sudden rush of power he drives into him, pushes him back against the couch, crowds into him, uses all his bulk to slam Bucky into the cushions and kiss him with a ferocity that should scare Bucky but in fact does the opposite. Bucky can't do more than simply clutch at Steve, hold on by his fingertips as Steve attacks him. Open his mouth to Steve's lips and teeth and tongue.

It's not until they hear someone clearing their throat that Bucky remembers they're at Stark's party. Practically in the middle of a crowd of people.

They separate slowly, look up furtively, and it's Nat looking down at them. The rest of the guests seem to be turned away with feigned nonchalance.

'So ah, not that this isn't hot as fuck,' Nat says, smirk on her face and in her voice, 'But you might want to slow down before you start removing clothes. You don't want to show Tony up at his own party.'

'Fuck,' Steve says, pulling away just enough to Bucky to breathe beneath him, 'Shit, sorry Buck.'

'It's okay,' Bucky says, breathless, 'But ah,’ Bucky looks around and back up at Steve, who’s shirt buttons have been ripped open, the mistletoe knocked askew, hair sticking up everywhere, ‘Maybe we should get out of here.'

'Oh,' Steve says, his pupils blowing out wide at the idea of their leaving together, 'Oh, but I don't have a car. Sam drove me.'

'It's fine I've got my bike, it's just big enough for two,' Bucky says with a smile, and Steve smiles too, wide and joyful.

'Well go on then, Jesus,' Nat says, shaking her head at the and pointing over her shoulder, 'Get out of here, I can make your excuses with everyone for you.'

'Thanks Nat,' Steve says, standing up and pulling Bucky with him, leaning in to press a kiss to Nat's cheek, 'I owe you one.'

'You owe me many,' she says ominously. 'Hurry up before I change my mind.'

And they don't need to be told again. Steve pulls Bucky along behind him as they head for the elevators. Ignoring any and all curious faces.

'My place or yours?' Bucky asks as he presses the button for the garage.

'I don't care as long as it's with you,' Steve says, staring down at Bucky.

And Bucky can't do anything but stare back. And scream internally. And thank god that he didn't leave the party early.

Because this... This is everything Bucky wanted and more.

This might not really be his first Christmas. But it's his best. It's the best.

It's perfect.

[deus-ex-knoxina]

I had a fever dream where Dan and Andrew were adoptive siblings and now that’s all I want to read about

[image ID: an anon ask reading ‘(for the record was using fever dream as a hyperbole I’m ok)’ /end image ID]

first of all i’m glad you’re ok!

second of all oh my god. ohhhhhhhhh my god. this is so BRILLIANT

dan and andrew are so similar but like... so different at the same time? like they both have their People who they stick with, and they’re very >:( about anyone hurting Their People (andrew’s obvious, but like remember when dan got super pissed at kevin because of the whole wymack-is-kevin’s-dad thing?)

more on that note, dan cares more about her own wellbeing (when she slammed that one raven guy in the crotch i gained three years on my lifespan--at least i think that’s what happened i haven’t read the books in a hot moment but she used her shoes right? god. badass) than andrew does and my guess is that it’s HARD EARNED.

there is so much more under the cut i rlly love this idea

as adoptive siblings, i think they’d take a long time to warm up to each other. i feel like they’d both have this instinct to like, ally and cling to each other (since we know that’s a thing they both do at psu) but fight it because they’ve also learned to Not trust other people.

andrew doesn’t have the protective twin reason to pack bond w dan that he does with aaron, and pretty much everyone else in the series has to fight for andrew to actually care about them.

dan, on the other hand, is also probably pretty self-sufficient at this time and maybe not super enthused by the concept of having other people who she might need to take care of/take responsibility for. so like why would she bond with this younger boy who’s made it very clear he doesn’t need or want anyone

at the same time, though, they don’t really clash. they’re just content to leave each other alone and i think that would eventually translate into this sense of ‘they do their thing and i do mine, and we’ve been set in this pattern for long enough that i pretty much trust this is how it’s gonna be and they’re not going to do a 180 and hurt me, we just leave each other in peace’

and i think they would stay in that pattern forever, if not for some Moment™ that would make both of their protective instincts pop out (probably like, of another person, not of each other), and then they’d look at each other like >.> we’re not so different you and i........

side note wouldn’t a superhero au crime fighting vigilante duo of dan and andrew be so cool like that’s the vibe i get from them

anyway i think if dan and andrew met earlier in life they’d get each other more. by the time that they’re both at psu their experiences have diverged a LOT, and they also get somewhat different treatment at psu.

oh wow now i’m thinking about how dan would change the dynamic of the cousins right after tilda’s death? like obviously she wouldn’t like luther and maria and i think that when nicky turns up she’d clock that his relationship with his parents is total shit. i feel like dan and andrew and aaron would all like, appreciate nicky turning up, and i can’t decide if dan at this point would be better at verbalizing it than andrew and aaron or not

she’d be a couple years ahead of them in school though so she’d probably be like, ABOUT to leave for college and be glad andrew has people with him

okay. now IN college. for the sake of simplicity i’m gonna assume pretty much everything else goes the same, so they’re all at psu and andrew, nicky, and aaron turn up when dan’s a junior.

dan doesn’t know nicky and aaron very well since like, she’s been at college and nicky especially has been busy working in the brief periods of time she’s been home over breaks (and aaron’s not that sociable), but she knows andrew’s decided to keep them so that means they’re hers by proxy too.

that combined with renee and andrew doing the exact same thing of >.> we’re not so different you and i means that andrew, at least, is pretty locked in with the upperclassmen and that means he’s dragging aaron and nicky with him. (and since dan knows andrew already she can confer with wymack on like, how to deal with him, basically, since we know wymack bargains with andrew to get him to Do Shit)

i do think andrew would still take renee and matt to eden’s (not dan he already vetted her) but he’d be more open w dan about the reason for taking matt. i don’t think she’d be happy at all with how he decided to address it but she’d understand his reasoning.

and i think andrew decides that if his group is going to be with the upperclassmen, he’s going to have to do something about seth and his habit of being loudly homophobic

when kevin arrives, the foxes aren’t a *team* the way the trojans or even the ravens are, but they know how to exist in the same space with a minimum of violence, and most of them are all set to close ranks against this annoying newcomer who keeps insulting them (until andrew adopts him and is like no you all have to tolerate him now)

andrew and dan definitely argue like siblings and they argue a LOT about neil when he arrives, because they both clock all his lying but andrew deems him a threat and dan deems him a victim (and they’re both right. so like)

neil doesn’t really have to fix the team but he does still plunge himself into fixing andrew and aaron’s relationship. i feel like even though andrew has a less dysfunctional sibling-y relationship w dan that wouldn’t affect him making a deal with aaron because his relationship w dan is fundamentally different--they both came to it from a place of not needing help and that places it a little more in the same category as andrew’s relationship with nicky. bc andrew always makes deals with people he feels he needs to take care of/protect. so dan doesn’t have a deal but aaron does.

however it does mean neil’s job is a little easier because dan knew andrew before the whole tilda thing so he talks to her a lot

i also feel like dan would be emboldened to like... engage more w andrew in the context of sports so after they win a game she always runs over to the goal (or the bench or abby’s office wherever andrew happens to be) and is like celebrate with us and andrew’s like :| and dan’s like fuck you celebrate with us you’re an essential part of the team, and that usually works

and i think that despite both of them knowing the other one doesn’t need *protection*, what are they gonna do, just not protect people? they’re dan and andrew it’s what they do. not only do they recognize each other’s lowest points, they CARE.

and it’s not just low points! they also both recognize how the other is healing/growing at psu and are quietly glad. i don’t think they’d be like, vocal about it, but they both know, and that’s what counts.

[marithlizard]

First impressions of RWBY v8 finale, “The Final Word”

Finale time!  uh.   That is NOT a content warning I was expecting.

A suicide prevention hotline message?   When I said Qrow might jump, I wasn't *serious*. Mostly.  Damn it,  there isn't a single character  I want to die that way, villain or no.   This is upsetting and I haven't even started watching yet.

GDI Rooster Teeth you better not have had that kind of end in mind for Qrow all along.  I imagine everyone else saying something similar about their favorites.  (My tentative guesses right now are Cinder or Harriet, but there are so many plausible awful possibilities.)

Dissolving whale, looking like the biggest murmuration of birds ever.  So we're skipping back in time a bit.  Something flickers in the ashes.  Salem starting to reform? I can't tell.

GO WINTER don't you dare die here  either.  Ironwood's actually pleading his case with her,  as he hasn't deigned to with anyone else.  It's not a convincing argument, but he cares what she thinks of him enough to try.

Penny looking like a brilliant dragonfly, darting around with her swords like wings.

Just how far can that Grimm arm extend?

Jaune my boy! You remembered mission priority!  You've grown so much since the fall of Beacon, when you forgot all about calling Glynda for help in favor of melodramatically smashing your phone.   This is a horrible situation, but you've got a job to do and you know what it is.  

...Maybe you should just stop trying to sound like Mignogna, Liebrecht.   Right now you just sound like you've got a painful sore throat.  

Harriet finally looks unsure of herself.

One last flicker of luck...was it real? I dunno. But Qrow certainly believes it.

Watts, what did you just do?  I thought the bomb was already on a countdown.  Did you stop it, or start one?  And am I going to be right about where you want it to go off?

Ruby vs Neo round two!  They've both improved a lot.  Interfering with her umbrella is still a good tactic, though.

And YEET she goes through the portal to Vacuo!  One threat deferred to next season. (I highly doubt she'll get there and start slaughtering refugees, she has no reason to. She'll  fade into the background and regroup.)

- wait, how'd she do that?? The portals are one-way! Was that an illusion of herself that got yeeted? Someone explain this.

oh carp, Ruby's unarmed now.

30-second countdown.  Harriet is right, that's not enough to escape.  You were about to blow up thousands of civilians out of spite,  woman - Vine, what are you going to do?  You can't possibly shield a thing like that, how could you get it out of range?

You ARE going to shield. Huh.  Qrow doesn't have a word to say - they never knew each other more than slightly, and there's no time to fumble with phrases,  but he could've said "thank you" or "sorry".  

I didn't think that would work, but heroic sacrifice  gives you a lot of power points, we all know that from anime and superhero movies.  

Yeek, they're really teasing this fall thing.

YEEK did not expect that.

YEEK

Knowing it was going to happen takes a lot of the shock out of it, but still.  And *Penny* doesn't have any meta knowledge.

Jaune goes off mission, but despite what I said earlier, I can't fault him - Cinder's holding two relics! Ooh, and he and Nora don't know the portals are one-way yet.   They weren't even present when Weiss announced the specs.

Oop, what's going on with the arm?  She's had it under control for a long time, is it just coincidence that it would rebel now?

"She's  back".  OH.

Oh, that's disturbing.  Almost as much as the bug she used on Amber. Cinder doesn't need proxies to Grimmsuck the power out of someone anymore.

oh no Penny - that isn't going to WORK is it?

oh, no, no, no, Penny

You can't ask that of Jaune. You just can't.

You did.

Aw man, now i'm crying.

I mean, that's seriously badass, and all, but - but -

Those frost birds are beautiful!

And that makes four.

That was Salem screaming, wasn't it?  I can only imagine how loud it sounded outside of gatespace.

Why are the portals  disappearing?  Cinder didn't use the staff, she's just holding it.  Did RWBY specify an end condition when they designed them?  

Five!  Did not expect that.

Could really use  some Vacuo cavalry about now.

Or, y'know, a Maiden. That'll do.

Cinder, lying as rapidly as possible.   She blames the loss of Ruby and the lamp's last question on others.  Will Salem buy it?

She will!

They're just going to ignore Ironwood.  Seems fitting.  Why even bother?

Oh.  Cinder *wasn't* lying about that part. She did use the staff, and that's why the portals disappeared.  Can't really bring myself to mind much.    (Especially since the portals being gone means they can't follow the survivors.) But I would’ve liked to see her talking to Ambrosius.

And Ironwood is left alone on a  crashing Atlas.

Qrow, Robyn, Elm, Harriet, and Marrow overlook the rubble. 

Oh,  no....Qrow's getting the news through an earpiece,  I don't  know who from.  I think we're all glad not to be able  to hear him.

A flood? Pretty,   but where'd the water come from?  

Annnnnnnd that's a wrap. For Atlas and Mantle.

While the credits are playing,  let me take stock.  Where is everyone?

RIP:  Ironwood, Penny, Watts, Vine.

The ruins of Atlas:  Qrow, Robyn, Elm, Marrow, Harriet, Pietro, Maria, Salem, Cinder.

Vacuo:  Nora, Ren, Oscar and Oz, Emerald, Winter, Willow, Whitley, Klein, and an unknown number of refugees. And Mercury and Tyrian and CVFY and SSSN.   And presumably FNKI.   And the rest of the Happy Huntresses, what was that about slimming down the cast?

Fallen:  RWBY,  Neo, Jaune.  

(who *did* give Qrow the news?  Maybe no one, and he’s just calling and not hearing any response.  I’ll go with that, it’s less awful. He can hope they made it to Vacuo and are simply out of range.)

Post-credit scene!  Water. Ocean of magic water.  Beach. Jungle, with giant shells.  Crescent Rose is waiting for Ruby.  A very big tree.  And that's it.

I'm...not really sure what I think, overall.   Ironwood just seemed to fizzle out into irrelevance, and while I'm sure a lot of people will find that appropriate, none of it is what I  would've hoped for his character arc.  Penny's fate was moving and unexpected.  (In contrast to her first death, they took care not to show her body or what Jaune had to do to her. They didn't want this to be gruesome.)     Amity, Maria and Pietro just seemed to get totally forgotten.  Watts didn't seem to have a plan for the bomb after all besides idle malice.

RWBYJNeo will be fine, but the others are going to spend the volume believing almost all their friends are dead.   That's  just brutally depressing. It does not put me in the mood for wacky Alice-in-Wonderland adventures.  (Time travel or somesuch that shows us  more about Oz and/or STRQ,  that I'd still love to see.)    

We didn't get despairing suicides, we got heroic sacrifices, and not wasted ones either.  That part's okay with me.  

Mmph. Mostly I think I feel numb. How about the rest of you?

[kimyoonmiauthor]

What Harry Potter Got Wrong about Orphans and Adoption.

So, given the TERF that terfed all terfs. And given that I don’t want to profit from a terf... I’m posting this essay I did on Rowling I intended to originally post for a Magazine on how to write adoptees and adoption, but it fell through. Maybe we can learn something?

BTW, written before she went off the deep end of TERFing. Like 2007-ish or earlier. So this was before she went off about Native American Gods. Before she TERFed. And before she did some weird retconning --what I now call a Rowling... BTW, if you’re looking for a roast fest--this isn’t it. Credit to my wonderful voluntary, unpaid, though I tried to pay her Writer’s Assistant for the Harry Potter quotes. I couldn’t have done this essay without her.

The top reason that writers put in adoption or orphans into stories is because they feel that it will simplify the story for them. When I asked two different group of writers, the answer was almost universally the same, they felt that putting in an orphan should simplify the story. This, too, was the case with Harry Potter. JK Rowling explained this in 1999 when she was writing Harry Potter still in a Guardian interview, "...but Harry HAD to be an orphan - so that he's a free agent, with no fear of letting down his parents, disappointing them?" But unlike the previous adoption stories, JK Rowling have a fair amount of adopted persons and orphans, mostly intrafamily adopted.

Harry falls into the writer trap of the closer the blood ties, the less likely there will be attachment problems between child and care giver. This tradition started out with Brothers Grimm who changed many of the parents to step-parents. (The Hard Facts of the Grimms' Fairy Tales, Maria Tatar, p. 36) Also that in abuse, which is frequently associated with adoption, that it will make the orphan free to do what they like. However, this assumption is an error. Children by their nature want to please their caregivers no matter what relation they are. In the case of adding emotional and sometimes physical abuse that Harry endures, it does not free him from trying to please his guardians, the Dursleys. Being an orphan is not the key to being a "free agent" and the idea that adoption, in this case intrafamily adoption could simplify matters is in error. Harry Potter was an orphan left on the doorstep of his Aunt and Uncle's, the Dursleys by the Head Master of Hogwarts. This was after the sudden death of his parents. It is unlikely that the Dursleys would be automatically allowed to raise him and get guardianship, despite what the story says. On the British government website, it says that in order to adopt there has to be legal proceedings.

The steps of this include several visits from a social worker, at least three references with two outside references, preparation classes, a police check, and a full medical examination. They also have to register through an adoption agency and then apply for a court order which can take up to eight months. (https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adoption-assessment)

Even in the case where there is a step parent, the assessment still takes place for the family and consent has to be given. (https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adopting-a-stepchild)

This means the Potters, by no indication, had a will to give Harry up to the Dursleys, would make a far less likely that Harry would be placed in an abusive home. Add to that the fact that Harry's Aunt has a history of disliking her sister, they made Harry live below the stairs, and neither Mr. or Mrs Dursley have shown throughout the series to have any sort of patience with Harry, and the initial adoption looks even less likely.

Writing that one can be left on a doorstep disenfranchises the entire adoption community and the government who has tried hard to give a second chance to children like Harry. It ignores the parents that waited for those eight months, the feelings of abandonment that can manifest in some adopted people, as well as the care and thought that relinquishing parents may have for their child's welfare. Adoption is not a fictional object such as a dragon--it impacts real people and real lives.

However, this problem also continues because it ignores the fact that by adding two guardians to the story, there are more rather than less characters previously. Adding more characters is more, not less complex. There are Harry's parents, Harry's Aunt and Uncle and by proxy, his Aunt and Uncle's child. This means there were three characters added instead of the original three. This also means for each character there has to be at least a personality and background added for each character, if one is to be fair. This means in total, JK Rowling had to do more work rather than less work because now instead of three characters to work on she has six characters to work on, thus doubling her load.

Often adoption is combined with abuse in fiction and Harry Potter was no different.

Harry was abused emotionally.

“Now, you listen here, boy.” he snarled. “I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured – and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion – asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types – just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end-” Chapter 4 pg 46 (Uncle Vernon)

And he was abused physically through neglect.

"Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age." Chapter 2 Pg20

This continues such that the Dursleys treat Harry as he is not there once Harry gets the upper hand.

"Harry's last month with the Dursleys wasn't fun. True, Dudley was now so scared of Harry he wouldn't stay in the same room, while Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon didn't shut Harry in his cupboard, force him to do anything or shout at him- in fact, they didn't speak to him at all. Half- terrified, half-furious, they acted as though any chair with Harry in it was empty." Chapter 6 pg 67 The idea is that the adoption puts distance between the child and their caretakers, thus they must love them less. But this assumption talks about the amount of love based on title, rather than love is universal despite title, which would be a positive message for children to have--that title does not matter in the amount of love one can give or receive. In fact, this was one message I, personally, did receive from adoption, but I still see the myth continued, especially through fiction that title matters on quantity rather than the type or quality of love.

Abuse of a child, psychological, emotional or neglect does not mean that the child will become a free agent to decide what they want. Often children from such circumstances become overly compliant, withdrawn and passive. They can become hyper vigilant and have learning problems.

(https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/signs.cfm) This would make Harry, in the case of the systemic and relentless abuse of the Dursleys more dependent and less of a free agent as JK Rowling intended.

Despite this, credit does have to be given to Ms. Rowling in fixing the adoption issues in the last book of the series, though this does not completely turn the tide for the other six books. This most likely came about because Voldemort, the top villain of the book was also described as an orphan. So along with Voldemort, Ms. Rowling added Amy Benson, Dennis Bishop, Ted Lupin, Billy Stubbs, an unnamed Orphan and Eric Whaley. (http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Orphans) Only Ted Lupin is fleshed out and talked about as having a happy intrafamily relationship, which is only reflected on by Harry at the end of the seventh Harry Potter book. This would make it pass the more than one orphan and the polarized orphan syndrome, but just barely and maybe barely doesn't really count if dropped in at the last minute.

This makes Harry the principal character with which adoption ideas are drawn from with the second character being Neville Longbottom, whose grandmother is very strict with him, which undermines his self-confidence initially. This makes both adopted people in the book someone to pity and built on false assumptions of how adoption works.

Neither character are really given a chance to show what a loving, supportive family would be like, which may actually make Harry more, rather than less of a free agent as JK Rowling initially stated. Harry's confidence would boost which would give him the power, as shown in the books, to try new things, dare to rise up and be more consistent for his character development. There would be less characters overall that would have to be mentioned.

This series does manage to avoid many of the traps of writing orphans, but only achieves this at the very last book in a sweeping last minute save, which is worth noting, however, that means that for the span the books were written the titular character of Harry and eventually Neville's home life influenced how orphans were viewed.

This goes to show that not only does adoption complicate the plot with the addition of characters, but it also does not make any character more or less of a free agent to do what they want when they want it. They are still beholden to their parents, alive or dead. And that abuse has nothing to do with adoption, so should not be combined as an excuse, especially if one wants to make the child free to make healthy decisions for themselves. *** Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept. Chapter 2 pg20Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age. Chapter 2 Pg20

The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there – or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug. Chapter 2 pg 22Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-coloured bobble hats – but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large, blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a roundabout at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house,too. Chapter 2 pg.19

“I'm warning you,” he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, “I'm warning you now, boy – any funny business, anything at all – and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas.” Chapter 2 pg.23 ( Uncle Vernon)

Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food. Chapter 2 pg27

“Get the post, Dudley,” said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper. “Make Harry get it.” “Get the post, Harry.” “Make Dudley get it.” “Poke him with your Smeltings stick, Dudley.” Chapter 3 Pgs 29-30

“I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?” Chapter 3 pg 31 (Uncle Vernon)

Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun – last year, the Dursleys had given a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks. Chapter 3 pg 36 ( Harry Potter)

“Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as – as- abnormal – and then,, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!” (Aunt Petunia)

Harry had gone very white. As soon as he found his voice he said, “Blown up? You old me they died in a car crash!” Chapter 4 pg. 44

“Now, you listen here, boy.” he snarled. “I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured – and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion – asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types – just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end-” Chapter 4 pg 46

(Uncle Vernon)Harry's last month with the Dursleys wasn't fun. True, Dudley was now so scared of Harry he wouldn't' stay in the same room, while Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon didn't shut Harry in his cupboard, force him to do anything or shout at him- in fact, they didn't speak to him at all. Half- terrified, half-furious, they acted as though any chair with Harry in it was empty. Chapter 6 pg 67

[scotianostra]

On June 10th 1688 James Edward Stuart, "the Old Pretender", Anglo-Scottish prince, was born, Jacobites the world over remember it as White Rose Day.

It's not easy with these posts at times. For a start does he deserve to take his place in history of the Scots? Well I've included many others that were not born here in my posts, and the Stewart/Stuart name will always be synonymous with our Nation.  

Well the eighth of the Stuart James's was born in St Jame Palace, not long before his faither had to flee leaving the throne vacant so he was brought up in in Continental Europe, two of his sisters went on to be crowned, James was ignored by Parliament although he has next in line.

The name Old Pretender is commonly used to describe James ,to me it's a bit of an insult, the name Pretender came about as such, when James was born, a wild rumour took hold by James’ opponents that a male baby was smuggled into the Queen’s chamber in a warming pan to replace her stillborn child. Witnesses to the birth testified before a Privy Council meeting, but the rumours continued. As far as Protestant England was concerned, the “warming pan baby” was a pretender to the throne.

So James after the death of his Father was the rightful king of Scotland, England and Wales. In December 1688 James’ mother Mary, supposedly disguised as a laundress, escaped Britain taking James over to the relative safety of France. It was here that he was brought up with the French court regarding him and his family as the true monarchs. Of course, by right of birth James was the rightful heir to the throne.

When James’ father died in 1701 King Louis XIV of France along with Spain and the Papal States recognised James as James VII of Scotland and III of England. However, as a result of accepting this title he was at-tainted for treason in London and all his English estates were forfeited. The next twenty years would see James make various attempts to retake the throne which he felt was rightfully his. These have been wrongly called rebellions, but as the rightful King the correct term is uprisings, although most of you will only know of the final Uprising, The "45 they also took place in 1708, 1715 and 1719

In 1708 his first attack was launched. Initially delayed because James had contracted measles he set out from France with almost 30 ships carrying some 5,000 men to reach Scotland. This would be the largest ever French expedition to come within striking distance of Britain in support for James. Unfortunately, as the fleet approached the Royal Navy were ready. James’ measles may have given them the time needed to prepare for James’ attack. The French ships were forced to flee under the strength of the Royal Navy and took flight along the north coast of Scotland, with many ships being destroyed along the rocky coastline. After this James joined the French army for a while before he was asked to leave France in 1713 as part of the conditions of Frances peace agreement with Britain.

In 1715, James tried again. This time he reached mainland and most people suggest that this was the uprising that should have worked. Unfortunately, once again James was denied. Despite winning at the Battle of Sheriffmuir, and in Preston, James ultimately gave up the fight when he heard Government reinforcements were on the way. He fled Scotland and returned to the continent but his apparent abandonment of his men left a poor impression on many and his welcome back was not great.

After the failed 1715 invasion he eventually took up residence in Rome where the pope recognised him as the rightful king and gave him the Palazzo Muti to have as his home. James made one finally attempt on the British throne in 1719 with some Spanish support but this ultimately came to nothing. Then in May 1719 James married Maria Sobieska by proxy and later, in September, they renewed their vows in person. The following year they gave birth to their first son Charles Edward Stuart. This was followed five years later by another son Henry Benedict Stuart.

By 1745 it was Charles who was looking to take the British throne, for it was that prize he was after, make no mistake,  and it is said that James and Charles clashed many times over Charles plans to attempt his own rising. As we know the rising did not succeed and Charles returned to the continent. The relationship was further damaged when James helped his son Henry in his goal of becoming a cardinal. As such Henry would have no legitimate children to carry on the Stuart line and Charles was said to be angry that the decision had been made without him being consulted.

James lived in Rome for the rest of his life where he was well treated. He died on 1st January 1766 in his home there. Later he was buried in St Peters basilica in Vatican city and his tomb is marked by a monument to the Stuarts. After James’ death the Pope refused to recognise Charles as the rightful king and finally accepted the Hanoverian succession to the throne.

A couple of wee footnotes, I mentioned about James and the rumours about the bedpan, this led to all future royal births having to be witnessed by The Home Secretary, this practice went on until midway through the 20th century, the first one not to be witnessed was that of the current heir to the throne Charles!! 

And White Rose Day, well being a Jacobite in these times was not necessarily something to publicise. The term ‘Jacobite’ stems from the Latin ‘Jacobus’, which in turn means ‘James’, the Jacobite movement was effectively a political crusade to restore the House of Stuart to the English, Irish, and Scottish thrones. Discovery risked accusations of treason and the penalty of death. What they needed, therefore, were hidden signals of camaraderie spottable only by those ‘in the know’. 

The white rose, or the white cockade (white ribbon shaped as a rose in a hat), became one of those symbols either during or soon after The Glorious Revolution. And it continued to represent the Jacobites through to Bonnie Prince Charlie until the collapse of the movement after the 1745 Rising.

What did it symbolise? The reason for its choice as a symbol is unclear. However, when you consider that it’s a hardy wee shrub that thrives in poor soil and can tolerate shade and drought,you can get a sense of its subliminal messages.