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thelastofhyde · 1 year ago

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i. sea-day 1.

pairing. tourguide!joel miller x fem!reader. series synopsis. on the brink of undergoing a life-altering change, you runaway from your problems in the only way any sane person can: embarking on a mediterranean cruise. there you meet joel miller, a grumpy, private tour-guide, who just so happens to be tasked with touring you through each stop on your cruise. from greek goddesses to roman ruins, you have ten days to avoid your fate. maybe a frowning, southern, sex-on-legs of a man is just what the doctor ordered. chapter summary. as the ship sets sail, you search for help. at the bar, you encounter a familiar stranger. series warnings. no use of y/n, set in 2015, no apocalypse au, cruise!au, rom-com, enemies-ish to lovers, sunshine!reader, tour-guide!joel, unspecified age gap, depictions/discussions of grief, angst, fluff, a whole load of smut, a lot of cheesy stereotypical romance tropes bc i just wanna see joel not suffer ( too much )<3 chapter warnings. alcohol, mentions of class/wealth themes, implications that the reader has underlining mental health issues, convenient plot-devices that would only ever happen in a rom-com bc this is fun silly fiction baby!, joel suffers from acute insuferable-bastarditis :( word count. 3.7k hyde’s input. let's all hold hands and agree to ignore the fact both parts so far have opened on the reader panicking in a bathroom, okay? maybe she's a stressed girlie with a flare of ibs, you don't know her life. feeling a little insecure abt this chapter and lowkey don't wanna post it, but i promise the actual fun begins in chapter two, where we finally get to see tourguide!joel in action. previous chapter - next chapter - series masterlist

“What time did you say you boarded?”

Your mother’s voice travels from where your phone lays, abandoned upon the bed, all the way into the decadent bathroom.

Eyes moving a mile-a-minute, as if you're rushing to take in every jaw-dropping detail.

There’s the sink area, a double-vanity that’s centred with an array of lotions and soaps, and overlooked by an overwhelmingly large mirror that makes up half the wall, lined with a golden hue of light. A shower, with glass curtains and enough room to fit your whole wardrobe in it. Then, there’s the bathtub you’re already envisioning yourself sinking into. Marble lines the floor, and the outer wall is made up of three window panes, gifting you a view of pure blue, the sea and the sky melting into one another across the horizon. It’s making you nauseous, this looming feeling of imposter syndrome the interior brings you.

You don’t belong in this, a fancy room designed for fancy people.

An iteration of your name, back on the bed, drags you away from your own troubled reflection.

“Seven,” you call out, inching your way back into the main area of the suite.

“In the morning?!” She’s just as shocked as the first time you answered her question, fifteen minutes ago, and the second time, seven minutes ago.

Humming in approval, you give a sweeping gaze over the plush carpeted floor, the wall-mounted television displaying the cruiseship’s logo, the king sized bed that’s calling out for you, seducing you with the promise of a mattress that won’t be stabbing at your back the whole night. As if on queue, there’s a sharp pain in your lower back, a lasting reminder of the hostel you’d found little rest in last night.

“Well, there goes my jealousy!” Lacklustre replies aside, your mother continues her ramblings, used to filling the void of conversation with the sound of her own voice. “Can you imagine? Me, awake at that time? You’ll be glad you’re travelling on your own, honey.” Usually, you admire the positive spin your mother tries to bring to life. Your being alone upon this trip, however, is not a topic you want her to address, much less find the good in. “I mean, I don’t think even your sister-”

“I think they’ve made a mistake,” you cut her off, eyes zeroing in on a pair of glass doors. Snatching the phone off the bed, you turn off the speaker and press it to your ear just in time to hear your mother’s confusion, questioning what you mean. Focus on those doors, you slowly make your way over to them. “The room,” you clarify, fingers curling around a handle to unlock it, prying the doors apart. A wave of salty fresh air, hits your face as you step out onto wooden decking. You find yourself upon a balcony, facing off into the deep blue distance. To your left, there’s two sun loungers and a glass coffee table, mounted by two champagne flutes and a simple welcome note sprawled out in black ink. “I think they’ve given me the wrong room.”

It’s the next best thing to a reasonable explanation you can find, no chance on earth you were ever listed to stay in such a suite. No, a room like this is meant for a wealthy businessman and his uptight wife to overindulge themselves on gold-trimmed furniture and a fur-lined bed for a week, in which they do everything but address the lipstick stains that keep lining his collars or the chauffeur who keeps himself parked between her legs.

You can already picture such a pair now, storming over to some poor, unsuspecting deckhand, red on both their faces as they begin to berate him over the fact they're in a cabin the size of a cupboard, with a communal restroom and a bunk barely fit for one person.

“Why? Is something wrong with it?”

“No,” it’s an answer you reluctantly give, more than aware of how ridiculous it sounds. “It’s… nice. Perfect. Too perfect, like I should feel lucky to stand in it, nevermind live in it for the next few days.”

It’s with caution that you glance over each shoulder, taking note of the seemingly never ending row of balconies that line the ship, a sizable gap between each one. Guts twisting a little at the thought, you peer ever so slightly over the right edge and are greeted with views of more balconies. Beyond that, there’s only blue. Waves crash into the ship’s side and bounce off in white foam. You renew the distance between you and the ledge, unable to stop yourself from glancing both ways, confirming there’s no neighbouring balcony that finds itself occupied.

Then bend down, clasping a hold of one of the champagne flutes.

You take your first sip like it’s a crime, wearily, eyes darting back and forth, waiting to be caught in the act and dragged out of this room, down to whatever poverty loft you really belonged in.

Or, maybe they’d just toss you overboard, rid themselves of any possible hassle. People go missing all the time at sea, right? People go missing all the time on cruises. You’d just be another blip in the system, an error that can be overwritten with a simple-

“I can hear you thinking through the phone, sweetie.”

You take another sip, and let a weight fall off your chest, dragging in a breath large enough to make up for the moment or two you’d stopped breathing. “I’m just… tired. Don’t worry, I’m perfectly fine. No big freak out on it’s way, again.”

“Honey, you know how me and your father feel about you calling it a freak-” she must be able to hear your eye roll through the phone, cutting herself off before she can keep going. “Just, try and enjoy this trip, okay? Maybe you’re in that room because where you’re supposed to be. Maybe you’ve been awarded some free upgrade, like that time your dad got bumped up to business class!”

Bless her for trying, though she may fail. It’s enough to bring a smile to your face.

You swallow back what remains of the bubbled liquid.

Through the phone, you hear a door burst open and the entrance of a loud, excited little voice. Something akin to granny rings down the line, and it’s enough to have you frozen where you stand, bones rigid and unable to move. Something seems to smack into the microphone, a rustling of fabric as you envision your mother making room for little limbs on her lap.

“Hey, my little munchkin! How was soccer?” You can’t make out what the voice tells your mother, heart too busy beating louder than any drum, inching its way further up your wind pipe and threatening to choke you on it. “Guess who I’ve got on the phone?” The tiny voice squeals out your name, bile joins your heart inside your throat. Maybe this is how you find out you get seasick. “Do you wanna say hi-”

“Mum, I, uh… I’ve gotta go,” you’re eyeing the remaining glass on the table, the rising bubbles enticing you to hurry up, drink it before it goes flat. “I should go find the help desk, get this room thing sorted out.”

“Just a second, let E-”

“I’ll call you later,” you hang up.

You’re left with just the raging waters below, a caw from seagulls up above. Eyes slipping shut, you pull in a deep breath and push out a silent plea for that sting in your eyes to be from the salt in the air, not a set of unfallen tears. A few more breaths and it feels safe enough to open your eyes again, glancing down as your phone vibrates in your hand.

Two texts, each from your mother.

09:38 - She says hi, and that you better bring her back a cool souvenir. 09:39 - Doctor Anderson says she’s showing improvement and they’re finally starting to get somewhere. Just thought you’d want to know x

Giving in to temptation, you snatch up the champagne glass, bring it up to your lips and- pause, interrupted as you make eye contact with a man one balcony over. He’s older, a well-rounded gut fit into a light blue shirt and tailored trousers. With a rolex on one wrist and set of bright white teeth smiling right at you, there’s no mistaking he belongs in one of these suites.

You wonder what he thinks of you and your frayed sweater, no jewellery on your wrists.

He nods, politely, and raises his own glass towards you. A silent cheer, a recognition that you’re both here, living life in luxury. You meet it, raise your own glass, and try to smile as brightly as him.

Then knock back your second drink and saunter back inside.

“Miss, there’s been no mistake.”

In spite of it being an excuse to hang up, you stay true to your word.

Come early noon, you’re standing within the help centre. Against all odds, accidental nap and wild goose chase upon the ship deck be damned, you’ve found what you were looking for.

Or, well, an older woman with sweet smile on her face and a squinted nametag pinned to her chest found it, pointed you in the direction of the ship’s atrium. What you’re looking for is the Purser’s Office, dear.

“See? The booking under your name lists you as part of our excelsior guests.” The desk clerk turns her screen towards you, acrylic nail pointing at your booking information. Sure enough, in bold letters, your full name accompanied by a golden badge at the end. Excelsior Status, checkmarked and approved by the cruise. “This grants you access to one of our excelsior suites and all private excelsior lounges.”

In all honesty, you’re tuning her out a little.

You don’t mean to, sincerely, but you’re just so caught up in reading both your name and excelsior suite, over and over and over again, that you forget to really listen, mind running just a few seconds behind the speed of her mouth.

When you finally process what she’s saying, all you can manage is dumbstruck look on your face and a muttered, “oh.”

Paper rustles as your hands wring, the pristine pamphlet you’d been flicking through to fill the time as she’d searched up your details now rumpled, thin white cracks of paper peaking out beneath printed ink.

“I also see that you’ve added the excelsior tour package onto your booking, though I’m willing to change that for you, if you’d prefer signing onto one of our team tours instead.” Confused by her offer, you glance down and read over the pamphlet’s title- All-Aboard Tour Trips, Fun for all the Family! “Would you like to hear what your current tour package grants you?”

“If,” as if you’ve not embarrassed yourself enough with your cluelessness towards your own booking, your voice cracks under the pressure of being used, more squeak than actual intelligible words. You swallow back the lump of shame in your throat and push through. “If you don’t mind, please. This, uh- The ticket, it was a gift, so I’m just a little out of the loop of what’s been booked for me.”

“Not at all! So, the excelsior tour package gives you access to your own private tour-guide, for all seven stops we’ll be making on this cruise!” Already, you feel a little queasy at the thought. A private tour, no one but you and some stranger. It’s not exactly your dream scenario. “Your guide’s purpose won’t just be to walk you through all the memorable sites, but to curate your visits to your liking, helping you explore foreign land with a familiar taste. Where the tours in team are restricted to allocated timeslots and a set route of sites to visit, having a private tour-guide grants you the privilege of exploring where you want, for however long you want. The private tour also provides more time for you at each stop, as your timeslot to board will be the latest available, making your whole trip less of rush and more of a thrill.”

The clerk, without a doubt in your mind, is quoting a script she’s already said hundreds of time- word for word, beat for beat. Yet her voice is animated, her smile is kind, and you admire her a little for getting through it without a single laugh at the corniness of it all.

You, however, fail the challenge, glancing off to your side and biting back a giggle that you hope she takes no note of. The last thing you want is for her to mistake the laughter as directed towards her.

Weighing your options, you nervously ask, “but, you could change me over to a team tour?”

She says of course, with a smile that doesn’t waver, and the tension in your shoulders lessens, the ice cold feeling of inconveniencing her melting away at her warmth.

Her nails clack as she types away on her keyboard. A double click and then, a hiss. She’s no longer smiling, a grimace taking it place. “I’m sorry, but all of our tours are fully booked.”

“Oh. That’s- It’s okay.”

“But, I could add you to the waiting list! If there’s any cancelations for any of the stops, you’ll be the first to know. This won’t affect your excelsior tour package, so either way you’ll have some kind of guide.”

With nothing to lose, you figure why not and let her throw your name in the metaphorical hat.

Mid-typing away, eyes glued to her screen, you watch as her brows shoot up. “Oh, while I’ve got you here, there’s one more thing. With our excelsior guides, it’s customary that they meet with you on the first night, to touch base on simple things, like your interests or any goals for this trip, and to plan out tomorrow’s official first stop, which is in Santorini. Your guide has left you this, detailing where you’ve to meet him.”

With renewed hesitation, you grab at the folded note she slips over the desk. It’s small, with half an inked fingerprint burnt into the top left corner.

As you thank her for her help and bid her goodbye, she interrupts you before you can turn to leave.

“I know private tours can seem daunting but, you’re in good hands. Joel will take care of you, he’s our top-rated guide.”

The note remains folded as long as you can control your curiosity, which appears to be only until you’re back on the deck, sun shinning directly in your eyes and forcing you to squint as you read over faded blank ink.

10 pm, the Tipsy Byson bar.

Below that, in a bolder blue ink, wear something green for me to find you, JM.

You’re awfully overdressed, and painfully aware of it.

The Tipsy Byson is nestled between the arcade and the casino, a balance of childlike shrieks harmonizing over outraged yelling of men cheated out of their hands. Brown wood lines just about every inch of the place, from the walls, to the tables, to the bar. There’s an outrageously large Stars and Stripes flag hanging on the wall, and memorabilia of all things Texas Roadhouse. The place is themed, down to the cowboy hat that sits atop the bartender’s head, and clearly everyone is aware of this, decked out in scruffed up boots and worn out denim vests.

Everyone but you, dark green silk clinging to you in the shape of a laced-back midi dress, dainty black heels tucked into the footrest of the barstool you occupy.

It’s the only green thing you brought and- wear something green for me to find you- you’d had no choice.

It was a quarter to ten when you got there, earlier than you were requested, but a gentle buzz of something shooting through your nervous system left you impatient, unable to wander the ship’s halls any longer.

It was fine, you figured, gave you a chance to get a drink, cool your nerves a little. Sticking with the theme of green, you’d yelled over the line music for a midori sour, please, and even cracked a little smile at the cute bartender.

By twenty past ten, you’re still alone, no tour-guide in sight, and your glass is empty, a sole ice-cube all that remains. You order another glass, given him another smile, and return your eyes to the entryway as you sip back the taste of the dewy melon goodness.

The doors opened, your hopes rise and- a couple walks through the door, adorably dressed in matching jackets.

Another sip.

The doors open again, this time you watch as a few women walk in, party hats and bachelorette signs dripping off them.

Half your drink, gone again.

Two, three, four more times the door opens and you watch as strangers filter in and out, pretending you don’t notice the way some of their eyes linger on you, sticking out like a sore thumb.

It’s as you throw back the last sip of your cocktail, eyes catching the time- 22:36-, that you watch a grin overtake the bartender’s face.

The door shuts with a slam, buried beneath the layers of stomping feet across the dance floor and the twang of a country song, yet you hear it all the same, twisting in the stool.

A man stands by the entry, salt-and-peppered hair a little tousled and a scowl etched into his forehead. He moves like water, slipping through the cracks in the crowded bar with minimal effort. All the while, eyes seem to follow him, the occasional head turning in his direction. He spares no glances, to anyone.

Instead, he’s staring right at you.

And heading your way, frown and all.

There’s something in his face that feels familiar, and you swear that this is not the first time you’d stared into those eyes. Broad, scruffy facial hair, his irritation as some drunk girl slams into him so palpable, you almost taste it on your tongue.

You mumble something to the bartender, a request for another drink, a parched feeling stirring in your loins.

He’s inching closer, and closer, and closer- and, only as he’s a mere three bar stools away from you, do you realise who he is.

You’re in the way.

Signore Miller.

The rude man from the airport!

God, you can’t wait to see what this is about. He must recognise you, must feel the shame licking at his wounded ego, driving him to come over, apologise, beg for forgiveness to a stranger he unnecessarily berated.

“Look what the cat dragged in!” It’s not Signore Miller that speaks, nor is it you. It’s the bartender, arms crossing over his chest, smirk widening on his face. “Thought you said last season was your last!”

“You know me,” his eyes are still glued to you, an intense stare, even as he replies. There’s so little space between you now, you manage to notice the wrinkles in his flannel shirt. You choose to ignore the fact it’s green. “Ain’t no good at stayin’ away from the things I hate.”

“Wasn’t what you were saying at the staff party last year, Mr. Blubber-face. Took two whiskeys to get you crying ‘bout how you were gonna miss the cruising life.”

Another midori sour lands your way, yet you don’t even manage a single sip of it before he’s opening his mouth.

“Well look at you, all dressed up with nowhere to go,” his eyes still pierce into your own and, this time, it is you he’s talking to.

You’d have half the mind to throw your drink on him, if it weren’t for the fact you’re too busy taking a stabilizing gulp out of it, a sweetness to counter-attack his sour persona.

“Excuse me?!” You final sputter out, face burning too hot and pride too scorned to begin to feel even more out of place.

He seems unfazed by your outrage, turning away from you to acknowledge his friend behind the bar at last. “Do me a favour, Luke, don’t give her too much to drink.” Condescending tone perfectly intact, Signore Miller doubles down on your initial impression of him: an absolute asshole. “Last thing I need is to spend all day draggin’ around some prissy hungover diva.”

The man- Luke- scoffs back a laugh, shaking his head in bewilderment. “Quit teasin’ the poor girl, ‘fore she runs for the hills and ruins your five-star rating.”

An uncomfortable feeling creeps down your spine. It’s cold and alarming, and has your straightening your back, sitting a little tenser in your seat, realization rising in you like the dawn.

It can’t be.

He can’t be-

He’s stepping all in your space, face leaning down till his mouth is at the level of your ear. He doesn’t touch you, doesn’t even come close to it, yet there’s goosebumps littering your arms and hairs standing at the back of your neck.

Like touching a live wire, his proximity feels electric.

“Best be on that deck by 7 am, darlin’, or I’ll be dockin’ without ya.”

“Wait, you’re-”

“Joel, tourguide. At your service.” He’s pulled back, just to thrust his hand in your face. By the time you reach to shake it, he’s retracting it, that grating quirk in his lips moving higher up his cheek. “Oh, and do yourself a favour. Wear somethin’ a little more… practical. Santorini ain’t the place for dainty heels like those.”

You knock back the rest of your drink moments after he leaves, only to find Luke’s already placed a fourth glass at your side.

“Our little secret,” he faux-whispers, pressing a finger to his pursed lips. “Besides, you look like you could use it.”

Signore Miller.

Joel, tourguide.

Joel Miller.

He’s already making your trip unbearable, and it’s hardly begun.

+ extra hyde. sorry if that was a little boring it was a necessary part to get the ball moving, i promise chapter two gets right into it. again, updates to this fic happen every other friday! i'm bad at describing spaces, so if anyone is curious to know what reader's suite looks like, here are some reference pics:

taglist. @auteurdelabre

#joel miller series #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #pedro pascal smut #joel miller fanfic

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captainjoongki · 1 year ago

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not to sound like an annoying karen, but i honestly, truly feel that netflix has fucked up the kdrama genre for good.

just 10-ish years ago, there were kdramas that the big 3 korean channels (SBS, MBC, KBS) would broadcast and then there were kdramas that the main cable channels (jTBC and tvN) would broadcast. and between those groupings, you got everything. you got 16-20 episodes of dramas that had heartfelt writing, filmed with bright colors, filmed with concise plots, that most of the time, ended WELL. you got a GOOD ending that was complete. the works felt authentically south korean. yes, there were cheesy tropes and moments that made you cringe, but it felt so real. and you had SO many kdramas airing during the week! you couldn't keep track of just how many!

cut to netflix coming in and making it big with kdramas with squid game and some romantic works and then suddenly they (and disney+) are making these short kdramas, less than 10 episodes, with generic filters, generic plots, and poorly written scripts that are just mere shadows of what kdramas used to be. they end shitty 90% of the time. and worst of all, they feel like american shows. and no, i don't mean sex scenes or action scenes because hey, i love change there, but i mean the entire VIBES are just off. they're not the kdramas i fell in love with, the ones that felt so human. and thanks to these big, foreign companies coming in, the main broadcast channels have basically shut down 1/2 their timeslots, and so many dramas aren't even getting aired these days.

yes times change progress is great robots will probably replace us all in a few years blah blah, but it's really depressing to me personally since i have such fond memories of the utter joy of kdramas, especially from the golden era of 2008-2017. and while there are some that escape the netflix!americanized! curse, it's unfortunately the majority that remain nothing but commercial puppets, rather than authentic entertainment.

#kdrama #kdramas

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maybe-boys-do-love · 4 months ago

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So far, Kidnap the series, is BL-ing in all the right ways. It's light fare, but that's exactly what it aims for, and its hitting near the bullseye every episode. Just because its light doesn't mean its bad. Consider this my plea to everyone--for the sake of romance, BLs, and Thai BLs in particular--to stop equating dramatic naturalism with 'good' art. Kidnap is silly, sweet, and such a throwback to classic BLs--it's already hit most of the BL tropes. More importantly, Kidnap understands a major 'why' of BLs and light fare, and the series, itself, is depicting that 'why': they can give an overwhelming sense of reparation for queer people's buried traumas.

On the podcast Boys Love Boys Love, hosts and gay married couple Adam and RJ have been recapping their first watch of ITSAY (which very much broke open many traditions of the BL genre) with guests. In all three recaps so far, the guests and hosts have detailed vividly how, despite feeling 'proud' of their sexuality, BL shows allowed them to revisit painful experiences of isolation and abandonment in adolescence that occurred because of homophobia and then re-imagine an adolescence in which they weren't constantly on guard but instead experienced genuine adult care, friendship, and uninhibited explorations of first love. BL shows and their happy endings help queer people process griefs we don't realize we've suppressed.

I see a parallel to this experience in Kidnap as Min aids Q in coping with his acute PTSD, especially in the play acting scenes. Q can safely engage with his past experience and gain a sense of control and compassion over what he couldn't manage originally. Because I'm a performance dork at heart, the context of Ohm, the 'king of BLs,' leading Leng, an entirely green actor, within the show and through the actual process of acting in BLs doubles down on the theme. With each clear-from-outer-space romance beat, the show promises that this is a safe place to be vulnerable.

In the latest episode (episode 5), the series even began to reveal plot-relevance to its BL levity. We've all joked about Min's incompetency with all the crime he's been drawn into. After the first episode, the people on the internet chucked it up to a cheesy show disinterested in researching and committing to the realities of crime, but then James walked in the next week and called him out on it all. It was just Min, not the show. His exuberant care and desperation to please has led him, unsurprisingly, into a web of deception with no way out.

Brother Mhen laid it flat out this week: just because Min takes care of him doesn't mean he doesn't also provide kinds of care for his brother. Min, like any human-being, has his own weaknesses and issues of self-worth, and Q, with his savvy and prerogative of self-preservation learned from his upbringing, is positioned perfectly to provide the care and encouragement Min needs. I don't think the show has invited this comparison as directly, but it does make me think about how we figure the lighter BL shows and people like Ohm, a particularly evocative representative for creators in the industry, who endure controversies and vitriol to bring their best attempts to lighten the burdens of audiences.

For all the intense feelings ITSAY or The Eight Sense or The On1y One produced in me, I can recognize that their 'cinematic' style, with its naturalistic performances and precise camera work, is still just a style. It's not inherently better than shows recorded on sound-stages with more theatrical performance styles, though many critics and scholars have trained us to think that way. I Love Lucy, The Golden Girls, and shows like them are undeniably celebrated series that have no interest in approaching cinematic style.

Stable cameras, broader characters, and more absurd situations allow for subversive problems to be broached and tackled (and laughed at) while maintaining audience comfort. The slapstick and screwball comedy is one of the things I've adored about Thai BLs, in particular. The audience can feel for but not with the characters. And, that healthy distance is not to be diminished. Comfort can be a vitally important aesthetic experience, and the rules for judging genres that prioritize it are very different than those used for judging prestige tv and *poetic cinema.*

Too much realism would be detrimental to an action rom-com like Kidnap because the audience would no longer feel safe to laugh and coo about these characters in their situation. Although GMMTV is leaning more into its cinematography for BLs recently with this series and The Trainee (maybe toss Moonlight Chicken in there), I personally appreciate how they've maintained the genre's unpretentious sentimental tone, even as they've allowed creators to expand the breadth of the genre and address its problems. That tonal lightness allows us, in Kidnap, to safely dive into PTSD and perhaps our own experiences as queer adolescents with parents who left us unseen as we suffered alone; we trust the show will leave us and the characters resolved in the end.

But I don't want to mistake that kind of depth as the main point of BLs. Those are the undercurrents but we're meant to have fun here. You don't pull-up Miss Congeniality on your TV to understand the human condition. We like these characters, feel safe to open up our hearts, and trust, even as threats of death loom, queer love will conquer all.

#kidnap the series #thai bl #just witnessed one too many statements this week about thai bls not being 'good'#bl drama

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froggywritesstuff · 10 months ago

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abed's rom-com | abed nadir

pairing: Abed Nadir x g/n!reader

fandom: Community

request: @lilfartbox1 (i am so sorry for the wait 😭) : please any abed nadir comfort / fluff pieces like theres a little angst of them miscommunicating their feelings for eachother and then find out theyve both been doing the same thing of trying to make the other jealous etc

content warnings: not proofread, fluff, angst if you squint extremely hard

word count: 910

A/N: yikes this is rushed but i recently started watching community again and this had been in my drafts for too long so i wanted to finish it

Abed knew he wasn't the best at dealing with his emotions, often turning to his favourite sitcoms and movies for help. Especially when it came to romance. He hadn't had as much experience with it as he would've liked, so when he realised he started liking you in a romantic way, he quickly became panicked. You were part of the study group, meaning if he started liking you it could potentially ruin the dynamic of the friendship. But when Annie told him you felt the same way about him, he knew exactly what to do. Except he didn't. It wasn't working the way he had planned. He'd been reenacting an age old trope; person a makes person b so jealous that they eventually confess their feelings for person a. He started off small, making sure you'd see him catching glances at some random student in the cafeteria, and zoning out as if he'd been thinking about someone else. That was half true. To make it realistic, he'd always think about you when he pretended to zone out. When someone - normally Annie, who Abed told all about his plan - would catch him staring at someone and begin to tease him about it, he noticed how quiet you would get, how you wouldn't engage in any other conversations and would even leave because you were 'late for something else'. He didn't like it. The last thing he wanted was to know he made you upset. But no one in the movies ever stopped their plan halfway. As much as he wanted to, he didn't stop his plan.

He suspected that his plan was working when you started doing the same thing he did and made him jealous. It was either that, or his plan had backfired and you thought he didn't like you so you moved on. Either way, he still felt insanely jealous of whoever you began to like- whether they were real or not. He needed you to confess to him soon. Very soon. Being so jealous as well as not being sure if he had any reason to be jealous was driving him insane, he couldn't even focus on studying. Not that much studying was happening though.

"Abed, is everything ok?" he barely even registered the question, and was not able to recognize who's voice that was.

"What?" he mumbled back, his mind still elsewhere as he spoke with the group.

"We asked if you were ok." Annie began speaking, "You seem kind of out of it today."

Troy nodded, "Yeah, you and Y/N." Abed's head perked up at the sound of your name, suddenly giving Troy his full attention, "Neither of you have laughed at anything I've said today." he said, looking quite sad.

Abed looked over to where you were sitting, the two of you meeting eyes. You looked at each other for a moment, before announcing to the group you had to leave, not knowing that Abed was following behind you. You stood in one of the more secluded halls, startled when you saw Abed next to you.

"Shit, you scared me."

"Sorry," he said, making less eye contact than usual, "I wanted to tell you something."

You nodded, signalling for him to go on.

"I like you, Y/N." he was quick with his confession, after hiding his feelings for long he wanted to get straight to the point, "I know you like someone else, but I need you to know how I felt." as he spoke, the situation became more and more real to him. No matter how cliche the plot between the two of you was, it wasn't a cheesy rom-com movie. It was real life. And in real life, there wasn't a guaranteed requited love story. There was a chance you could reject Abed's feelings, and his friendship with you would be ruined. "I'm sorry if this makes things awkward between us," he said, a frown taking place on his lips, "You're one of my closest friends, but I couldn't keep this from you, that wouldn't be fair to you."

You watched and listened to his confession intently, seeing how genuine his expression and words were. He wasn't playing a character, or just reenacting a scene - no matter how much his confession sounded like it was taken straight out of a rom-com - it was real.

"Abed," you began, "There's no other person. I made that up." you explained, though a part of you figured that he guessed that already, "I only acted like I liked someone else because I thought you liked someone else."

He couldn't help the smile forming on his lips, "I made that up too,"

His smile was contagious, as you quickly felt your lips turning upwards into a smile as you laughed softly, "You should start making romance movies."

"I have no interest in doing that. I could but I don't think I'd find it very enjoyable." he paused, "But I appreciate the sentiment."

"Speaking of movies, would you wanna see a movie with me sometime?"

"I would like that. We can look at session times together when we're finished studying. We should also get back to the library."

You nodded, unable to stop the smile growing on your lips as you asked, "Do you wanna hold hands when we walk back or...?"

He smiled softly and held out his hand for you to hold, "I would like that."

"Cool." you took his hand.

"Cool cool cool."

#fanfiction #abed nadir #abed nadir x reader #abed nadir x gender neutral reader #community #danny pudi #x reader #gender neutral reader #abed nadir x y/n #abed nadir x you #fluff #froggywritesstuff

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onceuponastory · 2 years ago

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a perfect fit - bucky barnes x reader

Plot: After fleeing the Royal Ball, Y/N knew she had no chance of ever seeing the Prince again. But Prince Bucky is determined to find her. Pairing: Prince!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of abuse and violence, blood, being cut by glass, Y/N’s stepfamily belittling and degrading her, Y/N doubting herself, and her parents dying. Also the cheesy fairytale love at first sight tropes and all that good stuff I love so much, hahaha. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know! Notes: This is part two of my Cinderella AU, because I’m a sucker for a happy ending... and writing PrinceCharming!Bucky, as it turns out. You can read part one here if you haven’t already.

Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

When she awakens the next morning, for a moment Y/N thinks the night before was little more than a dream. It’s only when she sees the glass slipper beside her bed, shining in the early morning light, that she remembers how real it all was. The memories come flooding back. She really did dance with Prince Bucky, and spent the whole night with him. Unfortunately, now she has to go back to her regular life. But that doesn’t mean she can’t hold onto the memories a little while longer. After hiding the slipper, she soon busies herself making breakfast for her stepfamily, whilst pretending like nothing happened at all.

Inside, though, she’s so happy that she wants to burst.

“Good morning.” She smiles, placing down each plate and teacup in front of her stepmother and stepsisters. “How was the ball?” She asks, trying to hide her grin. All she can think of is Prince Bucky, and the warmth of his smile. The way he looked at her still makes her heart beat that much faster.

“It was awful.” One of her stepsisters huffs, and Y/N raises a brow.

“Really? How so? You were dressed so beautifully. I thought Prince James would’ve been enthralled by you.” It still feels odd to call him Prince James, rather than Bucky. In the few hours they spent together, the pair really connected, as if they were close friends. But that only reminds Y/N of how she’s never going to see him again.

“Prince James didn’t even look at us! Some other princess caught his attention, and he spent the WHOLE NIGHT WITH HER!” she whines.

“And then she just ran away from him!” The other gasps. “Imagine running away from Prince James! She doesn’t even know how lucky she was!” As her stepsisters continue to wail about how unfair everything is, Y/N nods along, feigning shock. Although, all she wants to do is laugh. Her stepmother and stepsisters have tormented her for so long, yet they couldn’t even remember what she looks like, too ignorant to realise it was her that Prince Bucky wanted. The mystery princess they’re talking about is right under their noses.

“Didn’t you hear? She left one of her shoes behind. The Prince is searching for her now.” When she hears that, Y/N almost drops the plate she’s holding in shock. He’s looking for her. Maybe she has a chance after all. A part of her wants to tell the three of them the truth right there and then and rush out to find Bucky. But she can’t. Not now. She has to wait for the opportunity to present itself. But she can’t stop a little happiness from peeking through. As her stepfamily eats, Y/N refills their tea and fetches more food for them, humming a happy tune to herself.

“You seem rather… happy this morning.” Her stepmother frowns. “More so than usual, anyway.”

“Do I, stepmother? I hadn’t noticed. I suppose it’s just such a wonderful sunny day that I guess I’m in a sunny mood.” She chuckles, paying no mind to her words. Yet, it’s enough to get her stepmother thinking. The tune Y/N is humming seems so familiar, and she’s never seen her so happy before. Something must have happened whilst they were gone.

“How about you? What did you do while we were gone?” For a moment, Y/N’s eyes widen slightly, only adding to her stepmother’s suspicion.

“Well, I finished my chores and then… I read my book for a while before bed. Nothing too exciting.” Y/N replies. Yet, her stepmother remains unconvinced. She knows she’s hiding something, she just doesn’t know how to prove it.

But she’ll find out what it is. One way or another.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When she finally has a free moment, Y/N rushes back upstairs, ready to think about the night before. She closes the door, finally letting out a small, happy squeal.

“I believe this is yours, isn’t it?” A voice speaks from behind her, the sudden noise making her jump. When Y/N turns, she sees her stepmother standing there. As soon as she sees what she’s holding, Y/N’s stomach drops. Gripped tightly in her stepmother’s hands… is her remaining glass slipper. “Imagine that. A glass slipper. Just like the one belonging to the mystery girl Prince James is so desperately looking for.” She gets up, stalking towards Y/N. “And yet, I found it in my stepdaughter’s bedroom. When she was under explicit instructions not to attend the ball.” The entire time, her voice remains eerily calm and monotone. With each step she takes, getting closer and closer to her each time, Y/N’s heart pounds so strongly it could break through her ribcage. “It is yours, isn’t it?” She hisses, and Y/N nods, deciding it would be best to accept whatever’s coming her way than to lie.

“Yes, it’s mine. And Prince Bucky’s looking for me now.”

“Oh, Prince Bucky, is it?” Her stepmother scoffs. “Searching for you or not, do you really think he’d want you when he realises what you truly are? Just a pitiful, lonely and dirty servant girl with no money or dowry to her name?” Her words register something deep within Y/N. The same shame she felt when she fled the ball. When she ran from the kindest man she ever met, and the best chance she ever had. Y/N’s stomach twists, and she registers tears pricking at her eyes. Yet, she remains strong.

“I cannot trust that he will want me. But that is my slipper, and you said yourself that he’s looking for me. I still deserve the chance to win his hand.”

“Very well. How about a deal?” Her stepmother suggests, and Y/N raises a brow. “When the Prince arrives, we tell him the truth. And I’ll help support you in your new role and life.” Y/N listens intently, waiting for the catch. She’s been living here for long enough that she knows better than to trust her stepmother. “But of course, I’ll need to help your new husband too, no doubt. After all, he’s foolish enough to want you as his wife. So you will make me your royal advisor. All decisions go through me. Deal?”

“No.” The word causes Y/N’s stepmother to blink in surprise for a moment. Quickly, she regains her composure, yet her brows remain furrowed in confusion.

“I’m sorry?”

“No.” Y/N repeats. “I want the Prince to find me more than anything… but not with your ‘help’. He is the most wonderful person I have ever met, and I refuse to let you treat him as cruelly as you treat me. So.” She takes a breath. Despite the courage flowing through her veins, she can already feel the sick taste of regret, and the worry that she’s throwing her last chance away is beginning to build. But she’d rather be stuck here for the rest of her life if it meant Bucky and the others in the kingdom were safe. “My answer is no.”

She expects her stepmother to start sputtering or yelling, to call her all the names she’s accustomed to hearing by this point. Because that’s what she always does. But that’s not what happens. Instead, her stepmother simply stands up straighter and walks towards her, completely silent. With each step she takes, Y/N feels her heart pounding faster and louder. She considers running, but she can’t even take a step. She’s frozen, waiting for what’s coming.

“You ungrateful brat.” Her stepmother hisses, finally reaching her. As she backs Y/N up against the wall, she towers over her. Despite the stones digging into her back, Y/N stands firm, showing her stepmother that she isn't scared of her anymore. “After your fool of a father died and left us with next to nothing, I made sure you still had a home! And when I ask for something in return, for a moment of thanks, you throw it back in my face.”

“Don’t speak about my father like that!” Y/N demands. “He may not have had a lot, but he still loved me. He loved us. All you have done is treat me awfully. I have nothing to thank you for.” A harsh slap suddenly hits her cheek, stunning Y/N into silence for a moment. Her stepmother has only ever called her cruel names, and treated her like a servant. She’s never hit her before.

“How dare you disobey me! What on earth makes you think that a servant girl like you deserves this over my daughters?!” Her stepmother hisses, her breath hot against Y/N’s cheek.

“Because that is my slipper. I am the one who danced with him.” Y/N repeats. Fully aware of the potential consequences, she looks her stepmother right in the face once more. “It proves that I’m the one he is looking for. He wants me.” Suddenly, her stepmother smirks, standing up a little straighter.

“Oh yes. So it is.”

And without another word, she raises the slipper into the air, and then smashes it against the wall. When the slipper hits the wall, it shatters, spraying glass everywhere. Although, the sound of Y/N’s cry blocks most of it out. She sinks to the floor, desperately trying to salvage what pieces she can before her stepmother can crunch them under her heel. Her vision blurred by tears, Y/N registers pieces of glass slicing into her palm and fingers, but she doesn’t care. She has to get these to show Bucky the truth. That it was her he danced with all night. Although she already feels like it’s hopeless. These are simply just smashed pieces of glass… they mean nothing. Especially not that they used to be a glass slipper. As the last shred of her hopes and dreams fade, Y/N sniffles, breaking down in silent tears.

“Clean this up.” Her stepmother orders, her voice back to the scarily calm, monotonous tone from only a few minutes ago. “And do not fill your head with such ridiculous fantasies again.” Then she slams the door shut, the sound ricocheting across the room. Y/N jumps up, ready to run out of the room after her, to fight for her future, her and Bucky’s future.

“Let me out! Please!” She begs, pounding on the door and trying to pull it open. But it doesn’t budge. Her stepmother must have locked it, trapping her inside. Her chance to get out of here is just as shattered as her glass slipper. Breaking down in tears, Y/N sinks to the floor once more, too tired to fight it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Still no luck finding the mystery woman, Your Highness.” The Captain informs Prince Bucky, and he sighs.

“How many houses are left?”

“Just one.” Bucky nods. Although he still has some hope left that they will find his mystery princess, he’s been losing hope with every failed house search there is. He glances down at the slipper.

“Let’s hope the last house gives us some more luck, then.” Mounting his horse once more, they set off.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sometime later, Y/N sits up, her body aching from laying on the cold and wooden attic floor. Her cheek throbs from where her stepmother slapped her, and her eyes are red and raw from crying. She doesn’t even know how long it’s been since her stepmother locked her in here. Bucky could’ve been and gone already. As the beams from the setting sun fill the room, the shards of her glass slipper sparkle, a cruel reminder of the happy ending she could’ve had. Now, it’s just as shattered as her slipper.

Y/N goes to the window, hoping that the sunset will at least cheer her up. As she gazes out of the window, she suddenly notices something. Men atop horses. She has no idea exactly how many, but there must be at least thirty. And they’re all outside the house. Y/N’s up too high to see everything clearly, but she recognises the deep blue of their uniforms.

It’s the Royal Guard. They’re here. She’s not too late. She still has a chance.

But how is she going to get their attention? Her stepmother locked her in, and she’s not strong enough to pull open the door or to break it down. She could try screaming or stomping her feet to prove someone is upstairs, but her stepmother would probably find her before they did. Y/N paces the room anxiously, muttering to herself, trying to think of a way to get their attention.

And then, something crunches under her foot. Glass. And then, she knows what she has to do. The walls of this attic room have been falling apart for decades, leaving stone pieces scattered around the room. If she breaks the window, she could alert them that way. Quickly, she grabs the biggest piece of stone that she can, rushing back to the window. Of course, hitting a member of the Royal Guard with a stone or raining broken glass down on them is not ideal, but it’s her only hope to get their attention. Bracing herself, Y/N raises her hand… and throws the stone at the window.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Thank you again for your time, ma’am.” The Captain nods.

“Of course.” Y/N’s stepmother replies. “I am sorry that your search wasn’t successful.” She smirks. Even if her daughters don’t get to marry the Prince, the fact that Y/N won’t either is more than enough solace for her.

Bucky walks back to his horse, unable to hide his disappointment. Maybe he’s destined never to find his mystery girl again.

“Wait! Stop!” a distant voice calls, stopping him in his tracks. “I’m up here! Wait!” The words send a jolt of hope through his body. Immediately, he turns around, marching back towards the house.

“Ma’am. You said there were no other eligible women in your household aside from your daughters, did you not?” Her eyes widen, and she stammers.

“Well, there’s only my stepdaughter, but it can’t be her, she’s just a servant girl, nobody important.” Bucky hates the way she talks about her stepdaughter, as if she’s not a valid member of this household because she’s not related to her by blood. He remembers the mystery woman’s apprehension, and how afraid she was to let him help. And things suddenly make sense. If someone who speaks so terribly about her is 'taking care' of her, it's no surprise she didn't want him too close. Although, this only spurs on his desire to find and help her.

“Her status does not matter. What matters is you lied to the Royal Guard, and to your Prince.” He states. “Now, let us pass.” He orders.

Upstairs, Y/N nervously wrings her hands. Ever since she broke the window, she’s been waiting for her stepmother to burst into the room and punish her. She’s spent the last few minutes trying to think of an explanation that will save herself, but her brain has turned up empty each time. And that’s why she’s also considering making a break for it. When she registers the sound of the key in the lock turning, she sighs.

“Stepmother, I just wanted-”

“Hello again.” Prince Bucky smiles. Y/N gasps. As the fear leaves her body, she takes an enormous sigh of relief. It feels like an immense weight has just been lifted off her shoulders.

“Am I dreaming?” She asks, and he chuckles.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” He steps closer, taking in every inch of her. “It is you.” He whispers, still grinning. And something deep in Y/N’s stomach flutters. Suddenly, he notices the mark on her cheek. Immediately, his face hardens. “Who did this to you?”

“It was my stepmother. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth, I was afraid she’d find me, and-” He takes her hand, cutting her off. He grips it tightly and protectively.

“There is no need to apologise, my love. She will never hurt you ever again. She won’t even be allowed near you again. You have my word.” Y/N nods. Even now, when he holds her hand, she can feel the same care and love from the night before. “Now. If you’ll allow me, my lady…” Bucky smiles. He holds out the remaining glass slipper, ready to slip it onto her foot. But first, Y/N knows she has to tell him the truth.

“Prince Bucky, my name is Y/N. I’m not a Princess, or a noblewoman. I’m more of a servant than anything. In fact, that’s why my stepfamily calls me Cinderella. I don’t have any family, or dowry I can offer. Even though I am the person who danced with you at the ball… I still don’t know what will happen once that slipper fits, or if you’ll even want me afterwards.” She can feel tears rolling down her cheeks, but she doesn’t stop. “But I love you. And I hope you will take me as I am.”

Bucky smiles, gazing at her like she hung the moon. “Of course I will. I don’t care about your title or what dowry you can bring. All I care about is the person behind it. And I love you… Y/N.” He whispers her name, almost as if he still cannot believe he finally gets to know it, or that he’s finally found her. Her name leaving his lips sounds so sweet, so loving. It’s been so long since she heard anyone say her name, let alone with no hostility in it. For the first time in a long time, she feels loved. “Now. Despite knowing the truth, every maiden in the kingdom has to try this slipper. Prince’s orders.” He reminds her, and she giggles.

“Of course, Your Highness.”

Y/N slips her boot off, and Bucky slides the slipper onto her foot. “It’s a perfect fit.” He beams. He takes her hand, running his thumb along her knuckles. “My princess.” He whispers.

Slowly, he leans in closer, tilting his head towards hers, and Y/N rises to meet it. The kiss is soft, yet passionate. In fact, it’s everything she could’ve dreamt of. He holds her in his arms again, keeping her safe from everything in the world. Soon, Bucky leads her downstairs, keeping a tight, protective grasp on her hand.

“In a way, I’m going to miss this place. Well, I enjoyed living here when it was just my parents and I.”

“Don’t worry, my love.” His nickname for her makes her smile, light heat settling on her cheeks. It’s a nice change from Cinderella. “We’ll both make sure nothing happens to it, and you can come visit whenever you want. I’m sure your stepfamily won’t be here for much longer.”

“And if they do stay?” Bucky chuckles.

“Trust me. My guards and I will make sure they don’t.” Y/N smiles, squeezing his hand.

“Thank you.”

When they reach the bottom of the stairs, her stepmother stands there, flanked by two guards. Reflexively, Y/N tenses. “It’s alright.” Bucky soothes. “I won’t let her hurt you ever again.” As they pass by her, Y/N can feel her stepmother’s glare burning through. As she begins to panic, Y/N registers Bucky squeezing her hand once more. Keeping her head held high, Y/N and Prince Bucky walk through the door, ready to start their new life.

Together.

The End.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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tiffany-loves-broadway · 8 months ago

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The Nameless

It's pride month, so I'm finally getting into X-Men. (Okay, I didn't actually plan it out that way, but it lined up.) Anyway, I'm surprised that everyone hasn't already gone nuts about the X2 villain's extremely miserable trans daughter.

Now, the thing is, this isn't explicitly confirmed in the text. But the subtext is in-your-face enough that it feels dismissive to call it a "headcanon". Like, this is the same movie with the line "have you tried... not being a mutant?" in it, and this character being trans isn't particularly subtler writing than that. I don't think it was intended to be so obvious, though. 2003 was a different time.

So, like, quick rundown on the plot of X2. Colonel William Stryker (in the comics he was a minister instead) is a bigot who wants to exterminate all mutants. His most vital asset in doing this is his "son", known only as "Mutant 143", or more often by her birth name, "Jason Stryker". Mutant 143 is a powerful psychic who can control people through dreamlike visions. William never accepted his child's mutation, and pulled her from Charles Xavier's school when he realized that Professor X had no intention of "curing" her. William blames his daughter for his wife's suicide; he had Mutant 143 lobotomized and began a plan to use her as a weapon against all other mutants.

And the thing is, Mutant 143 physically looks like this:

But like. Why wouldn't she, with that kind of dad? He has full power over her and has deliberately rendered her a dependent he can micromanage. I mean, Jesus Christ, the line I just randomly stumbled upon while opening and closing my media player to get that screencap was William Stryker saying

No, Charles, my son is dead! My son is dead, just like the rest of you.

Meanwhile, she consistently depicts herself in her psychic visions as this little girl:

And, like, okay, the extremely surface-level I-never-think-about-trans-people reading of that is that she's picking a "harmless" form to better insinuate herself into her targets' minds. But first off, the film never says that; it doesn't even really imply it. She doesn't pick different forms for different people; we only ever see her psychic ego as that little girl. Second off, her power doesn't really require her to put effort into seeming harmless to control people; the dream visions are more of an aesthetic flare on her power than they are a necessary mechanism. When she gets her psychic talons into someone, she can just directly command them to do whatever the fuck out-of-character thing and they'll do it regardless of plausibility. She's the classic cheesy horror trope of the scary possessed little girl, and frankly I don't think it would be any easier to get Professor X to kill all mutants on the orders of a little girl than a little boy.

She's been reduced to a shell of a person, but some element of personal identity still remains there. In her power. The thing she's being oppressed for.

This character doesn't receive a real name in canon. She gets two names from her shitty father: the dehumanization inherent in "Mutant 143" is fairly obvious and uncontroversial, but given everything I'm saying here, I don't think "Jason" is really better. She likely identifies with that name exactly insofar as she's been brainwashed into wanting her own kind dead.

It complicates things a bit that Professor X, another powerful psychic who would likely know her well, also calls her "Jason" a few times. But given the unfortunate circumstances of the film's plot... even if he knew, what else would he call her? She hasn't been fortunate enough in life to get a real name. It's not like, within the plot of the movie, stopping and pointing out what was going on would have been likely to help anything.

This is thematically important to the movie. Magneto certainly isn't meant to be right about everything, but there is a sympathetic throughline to him and his attitudes about the oppression of mutants. Earlier in the movie, he indicates that he sees mutants' cape names (like "Magneto") as their real names, and he encourages his allies to see themselves that way. The trans applicability here is fairly obvious; superheroes and supervillains make up their own names that make their marginalized status obvious. They can publicly identify with them to advertise their mutant status to the world instead of hiding behind ordinary names they were given by majority society.

This character, this properly unnamed character, never got anything like that. She never got to choose her own name. She was compelled by force to betray herself and commit to an external name that was entirely hostile to her.

Anyway, after the X-Men escape from her devious psychic maze they leave her behind in a collapsing building where she presumably dies because she's unable to move herself without assistance. Life sucks and shit happens. It was 2003.

Looking through relevant tags, I was able to find a few short posts discussing this idea, but I'm surprised that they're so sparse and I'm surprised that they treat the idea as so speculative. It really leapt out at me, watching the movie.

#x-men #x2

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rebuke-me · 8 months ago

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actually sorry i'm making this a separate post too so i can put it in the tag and itll show up. if u read my reblog on my previous post its literally just the same material sorry.

long post of my analysis of gender, tropes, and the musical be more chill ahead

so. i'm going to start with the wider overarching ideas of teen romcoms. im mostly thinking the mean girls/princess diaries/that sort of movie. early 2000s kind of cheesy kind of problematic at points but still having that nostalgia.

in most of these sort of movies, theres a very structured plot. the lead girl is an outcast, a weirdo. she's either childish or unattractive or a nerd or a loner. she frequently has a best friend (or a few) who are somehow more of insert "undesirable" trait here. usually, this best friend is also more eccentric, more outwardly strange, rejects the idea of the popularity.

the lead girl also has a crush on a guy who's unattainable, he's interesting to her, she's never talked to him a day in her life but she swoons over him. she's in love with the idea of A Boy. (and frequently, the guy has caught the attention of a popular girl who functions as her rival, whos prettier, and better liked, and has more of the traits the main girl desires.) she sees her male crush with the popular girl and loses hope.

the lead girl gets a chance to change her life- maybe she's noticed by a popular girl- who offers her a chance to be something else for seemingly arbitrary reasons. through this, she gets a makeover, a way to be as pretty as the girl shes a rival of. she also lies or embellishes herself to be attractive to people around her, especially the guy she likes.

the girl climbs the social ladder, she gains the attention of the popular boys and the romance she's been craving. she's desirable now. (and sometimes shes desirable in ways that aren't good for her, sometimes shes used as a way to show off or make people jealous, not for her, but for what she's become). she goes to a party that goes horribly wrong. her quirky weird best friend blows up at her.

the main girl also sees the intricacies of people she's never thought to have flaws, to have issues. even the girl who she's competing over a guy with. she realizes that idealizing people who are just like her, deep down, doesn't work. she hits rock bottom, loses everything, and then has to forcefully gain it back, make things right, and then she gets the guy at the end.

every single one of those plot points happens in be more chill, but everything is genderflipped. the main girl becomes jeremy, an insecure guy, making the narrative more about toxic masculinity than toxic femininity. the insults are about jeremy's looks, yes, but more prominently about his sexuality- something that men are traditionally a lot more insecure about than women, in most cases. he's a hopeless romantic. he's insecure. he's awkward and anxious. he's all the traits of a traditional teen movie romcom protagonist, but male.

the quirky girl best friend becomes michael, whos the outgoing, exuberant, eccentric friend. he's at a different place in his life than jeremy, whos fixated on popularity. he gets upset when his friend changes and leaves him behind.

the Male Love Interest becomes christine- unattainable but excitable. she's more than just a hunk for the main lead to be attracted to, but she serves the purpose of getting jeremy out of his comfort zone.

the popular girls become two separate archetypes of maleness, with jake and rich. jake takes on the romantic lead- popular, cool, athletic, effortlessly attractive, and the rival of the lead for the romantic attraction of the love interest. he's still operating under toxic masculinity. he lashes out with anger, he's not kind at times, he's seen as unintelligent.

rich takes on the almost gretchen-weiners-esque "popular girl" role. he's still popular and cool, but he's almost trying too hard. he's just as angry and aggressive, he's trying hard to be something he's not. he's also the one whos an analog for queerness, which is an interesting flip- think the "its like you're in love with me or something" bit from mean girls. he's the one who offers jeremy a chance for something different, a do-over.

the squip, while not a direct analog for anything in traditional romcom movies (since its kind of a nebulous. scifi concept) stands in for the literal themes of these sorts of stories. its toxic masculinity, its popularity, its the voice in your head telling you to tear others down, to pry out information, to push your way to the top.

the popular girls are particularly interesting, because as individuals, they kind of mess around with everything a bit. while everything else has been pretty cut and dry, they're all a mix of a bunch of things. they serve the roles of the popular guys in these sorts of scenarios while being very stereotypically feminine.

chloe is the mean girl, the leader of the pack. in teen movies, she'd be the star quarterback, the ex of the romantic rival, the one who is the peak of toxic masculinity- which the musical flips to make about toxic femininity with her (and brooke.)

the next paragraph is going to talk about Do You Wanna Hang and touch on SA, if you don't want to read it, skip to the next italicized section.

chloe also functions as something all too common in teen movies. she pushes jeremy into a sexual encounter he doesn't want to be in. she's not even interesting in him, as a person, but him as an object, something usually reserved for women in fiction. she does it as a power play, a way to get back at other people. she attacks his looks, his attitude, and this is when the downsides of "being popular" start to reveal themselves. (side note, this is an INCREDIBLY problematic trope to me, especially in its original form, because it enhances the idea of "if youre attractive you want this" type deal. a what were you wearing sort of attitude towards sexual assault. instead of treating it like a tragedy, its almost a status symbol.) and because the main character is a male- its never addressed further. its brought up in a singular line between the popular "guy" stand-ins.

i am done talking about this topic you're safe now

brooke is also intriguing, because shes one of the only characters in this concept that doesn't seem to have a direct parallel. if i'd have to give her something, i'd probably mark her down as the male sidekick to the popular guy, the one who doesn't get anything other than being the best friend. but she does get something, by virtue of her being a girl now. she's a viable love interest, or at least a status symbol.

jenna falls into a similar category to me- a character who only serves to bolster the reputation of the main character. she takes on the role of information spreader, which is a traditionally feminine role.

i could also talk about how i think that its interesting that while most of the actions in be more chill that are given to people of opposite genders (e.g. romantic rival, call to popularity, quirky best friend, the Do You Wanna Hang problem) the MOTIVATIONS for the actions are still aligning with the gender of the characters. like, rather than the gender of the original trope. if that makes sense.

anyways i scrolled back and realized i had like 10 paragraphs im gonna stop now but. yeah. gender in bmc is fascinating to me

#be more chill #bmc #jeremy heere #jake dillinger #michael mell #christine canigula #rich goranski #jenna rolan #brooke lohst #chloe valentine #media analysis #bmc analysis

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steddieunderdogfics · 6 months ago

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Today is all about @oh-stars! In today's Mod Spotlight, we're highlighting Jo and all they bring to this space!!

Jo created this space back in December and handles most of our regular fic recs and scheduling Fic Fridays! As well as making graphics, scheduling the event announcements and calendar, Jo steps in to help where she's needed!

Jo (she/they) has been a fic writer for over ten years, and a mod for seven years. Over the years, she’s written for other fandoms, such as Marvel, but now primarily focuses on Stranger Things — specifically Steddie. She mods the Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang, the Steve Harrington Big Bang, the Eddie Munson Big Bang, and created Steddie Underdog Fics back in December.

As a part of our mod spotlight, Jo answered some questions from you all and our team! You can read them below.

Be sure to stay tuned for more recs and future mod spotlights in the future!

What drew you to Steddie?

Truthfully, I couldn’t tell you. I’m a Steve girlie through and through, have been for years, but it’s something about his dynamic with Eddie that just clicked. It’s the same way I feel about all my major ships over the years. To me, and this isn’t a fresh take by any means cause I know I’ve seen others make the name connection, but Steddie has the same energy as Stucky from Marvel, Buddie from 9-1-1, and Superbat from DC, which are the other three big ships I’ve consistently the past few years. I’m a multishipper, can really see the beauty in other ships and dynamics for any of my fandom characters, but there’s something special about Steddie that I just don’t have the words for.

What is your favorite thing about modding this page?

This is so cheesy, but the community! I adore how everyone supports one another and discovering fics and authors I’ve never come across outside of the bubble I’ve found myself in. It’s such a joy being able to uplift authors and share their fics, it trumps all the headaches that can come with modding a page.

What are your favorite tropes to read?

I’m a sucker for kid fics, secret relationships, and hurt/comfort – especially heavy angst with happy endings.

What’s your guilty pleasure trope?

Omegaverse is the safe answer, lol, but probably darker fics? Angstier fics that I have to be super careful with the tags or else I can’t read lol. It’s not something I engage with all the time, but every now and then I go down the Major Character Death tags.

What is your preferred way to read and find fics?

I go through the tags very methodically, especially for a new fandom. With Steddie, it was a bit different since it’s the first time I’ve been around for the start of a ship – or at least paying attention to the ship as it’s forming. So usually I’ll either sort by date updated or word counts, then go through the tag I’m wanting page by page and read back to back. And if I make it through a whole tag, thats when I go to recs to see if I can find something to spark my interest for a new tag. Or for a tag I’d never really read on my own.

What makes a fic an instant yes for you to read?

Word count is a big one, the longer the better, especially if you add in a slow burn tag with a six digit wc. Otherwise, it’s a combination of things like a high word count, mix of slow burn, misunderstandings, happy endings tags, and it being completed, I’ll rarely hesitate.

Anonymous - Is there any older or lesser-known Steddie event from the past few years that you particularly love (if ongoing or recurring) or loved? Did you participate in any?

I really enjoyed the community over at @steddieholidayexchange (and the summer one). I’ve participated in many events over the years, from Steddie BB 2023 and a few other exchanges to ones I’ve modded like the Stranger Things Reverse BB, but that community was special.

@sidekick-hero - What makes a fanfic stand out for you?

How well rounded it is! With fanfic, I don’t want it to just focus on moving the plot forward all the time. Take the scenic route and let the characters breathe as they explore a number of side quests and plots as we navigate the main plot. Give me good dialogue, prose, interesting twists or interactions, and good character moments and I’ll be happy.

@worldswcollide - What advice would you give to someone who is interested in becoming a mod in the future?

Organization is everything and take notes!! Staying consistent with your organization and keeping records of everything will really help keep everything running smoothly. For events like big bangs and reverse big bangs that happen annually or semi-annually, it’s really important to keep a list of what works and doesn’t to improve the next run. Listen to feedback from your participants and see what you can adapt to make it work. Not all feedback has to be followed, but it’s good to try and see how you can improve your event or space. That’s where the records and notes will also come into play so you don’t have to start from scratch on the next one and you can back up what is working with evidence if you need to defend it within the team. Otherwise, just have fun. Don’t take it too seriously. Modding fan pages and events is volunteer work and meant to be fun, so if it isn’t anymore, don’t let it suck the joy out of fandom for you!

Anonymous - Do you participate in any other fannish activities, like making playlists, gif edits, fanart, podcasts, Pinterest boards, etc?

I’ve definitely dabbled in a lot – playlists, fan edits, fan art, animations, book binding, etc – but none that stick around as much as writing. I spend so much time modding I don’t really have the time to do more outside of it.

@sidekick-hero - What motivates you to mod for steddieunderdogfics?

My team and the continued support we get from our loyal supporters! We see the same names reblogging the call to action posts and engaging with the posts, so it’s really encouraging to see that our work has an impact in the fandom!

@worldswcollide - Are there skills you’ve learned as a mod that have helped you in your everyday life?

I have literally used my modding experience in job interviews. I frame it as event planning and management, with an emphasis on customer service and organization and usually that’s a great talking point for interviews. That being said, it’s really broadened my spreadsheet abilities and organization and I view teamwork in a different way now. As a burnt out gifted kid who took on the brunt of team projects in school, letting people take over work has always been tough so having a trusted team that shows me I can hand things over, its really refreshing. And now I’ve been able to do the same at work!

Anonymous - Have you had a particular favorite Challenge Monday or weekend theme so far (maybe because of the theme, the recs, or the engagement, or for some other reason)?

Okay so a little BTS, but we totally have handpicked some themes for each mod. For my birthday back, we did kid fics for that theme weekend since it fell on that Sunday since it was my favorite trope – and the same has been extended for the other mods’ birthdays. Outside of that, I really like the ones that I don’t expect to get a lot of submissions. And the comment ones, since we try to encourage those submitting the recs to also leave a comment.

@sidekick-hero - What do you like best about fandom?

I’ve said it a few times already, but community. I don’t have the biggest community outside of fandom, so it’s always touching to see how amazing and supportive everyone has been. Social stuff is tough for me, but no matter where I look in fandom spaces, there’s always someone willing to be patient and kind. It’s really changed my life, introducing me to some of the most incredible, impactful people I’ve ever met like @karadanverss, @sparkstar-trash, and @lady-lostmind -- and so many others. No matter how cringe or whatever opinions people have about fandom, I’ll never be shy about my experiences in fandom and with fanfic because of the people I’ve met over the years.

@worldswcollide - If you absolutely HAD to choose—enemies to lovers or friends to lovers? (At least when it comes to Steddie)

This is actually super easy to me, but friends to lovers all the way. I prefer that over enemies to lovers anyway, because that’s a really tough trope for me, but there’s something special about friends to lovers. I love how sweet and gentle it is, especially on a longer slow burn as things trickle into place in a way that just feels right because it’s meant to be. Enemies to lovers, though, is tricky. Rivals are always fun, but actual enemies is a hard line to toe. For me, I feel like the reason they’re enemies is either too light to be true enemies or too heavy that it’s kind of impossible to realistically get past. I like writing both, but I think in the end, I prefer friends to lovers.

Anonymous - Have you seen any interesting or fascinating trends in the ST or Steddie fandom that you'd like to talk about?

For ST and Steddie specifically, no. I think it’s really fun to see how the fandom shifts as a wave. Like post S4 drop, we were all about the fix-its and canon fics, time loops were massive and the kas theory was really hitting after the last two eps. Then I feel like we’re constantly going in and out of tropes as a whole, while the staples are always constant. But all of that is pretty standard across any fandom so it’s hard to really pinpoint.

@sidekick-hero - What made you create Steddie Underdog Fics?

Steddie Big Bang 2023. That was a monster of a bang and between how big it ended up being as well as the nature of how Steddie exploded, I felt a little helpless. I was super lucky to have gotten a lot of attention on one of my fics, but I really attribute that to timing, length, and how quickly I got it written. Do I think it deserves how much love and attention it got? No, there are so many other amazing works that feature new ideas and concepts, with interesting takes on canon or the characters, that should have just as much attention as that fic received. But the bigger the ship got, the easier it was for fics to slip under the radar. I’m still very lucky to have dedicated readers on my works, but at the time, I was really struggling with my Steddie BB fic. I was struggling with some negativity on it and seeing other authors worry about their own fics because they weren’t getting feedback, then one thing led to another and I was creating the blog before I could really process it.

Anonymous - Have you seen a rec method like it in other places before or was there just a general desire to help highlight things lost in the large growth of the Steddie fandom?

@steddieficfind’s format of crowdsourcing helped shape how I wanted to go about this space. At the time, while I was reading a lot, most of the fics I was reading were ongoing updates or from the same few authors, and a lot were oneshots. So I would go on rec lists and @steddieficfindto find new fics that I may have missed when going through my usual tags, because summaries aren’t always accurate. I know I struggle with my own fics’ summaries, but seeing how a reader sees a fic versus the author can really help bring in new perspectives. Thinking about that, I decided that having other people share their recs and highlight fics in a new light other than the author’s summary could be an interesting take on the rec space.

@sidekick-hero - Do you look for different things in fanfic when you're reading it than when you're writing it?

Oh yes, I’m way more critical about my own fic than the ones I’m reading. With my work, I’m trying to get to a destination while my reading choices are about the journey. I just want to enjoy the fic and see what happens, I’m not criticizing word choice or looking at the craft as a whole. Sometimes its hard to shut that off, but I really try to separate the two.

@worldswcollide - How did you transition from writing fic to taking on such big projects?

I’m a bit of a workaholic when it comes to fandom stuff. I’ll do the bare minimum in my jobs (because they’re super low stakes, let’s be real) so I can devote a lot of energy to writing and modding my events and this page. That being said, I usually hyper focus on the newest project for a minute before I take a more balanced approach. It helps having teams that can support me, especially with ongoing projects like this one. There were so many times where I nearly deleted this space because it got too overwhelming on my own, even as I added more and more to it. I couldn’t be doing this without @spicysix and @verdantcactus. They’re willingness to help, earnest interest, and brilliant ideas on how we can work the space has been a game changer. I can’t thank them enough for taking on this project with me, for continuing to absolutely nail it week after week. So thank you both so very much!!

Anonymous - What is it about Bang events that draws you in, especially as a mod?

It’s addicting. Genuinely. I’ve been doing them for seven years now across a handful of fandoms. Modding is just so fun for me, it helps me engage more with new people in ways I’m too intimidated to try as just a participant. And again, the community is really nice within events, especially with everyone cheering each other on as we hit milestones and deadlines. I really appreciate that support and getting the opportunity to support others to try new things.

@sidekick-hero - What's the best feedback you've ever gotten (could be about your writing or being a mod)?

This is really tough! It’s one of two, both were from my favorite writing professor. It’s more advice than feedback about my work specifically, but it’s something I’m constantly thinking about, especially now when I’m a bit stuck writing wise as a whole. The first is that writing is a muscle, not a talent. You can always improve and get better the more you practice, but in the same vein that it’s harder to lift 50lbs when you don’t lift that much all the time, you can lose it too. Writing a little bit each day, even if it's a sentence or two at a time, will be better than letting it rest, because you can’t edit a blank page. And as long as you’re thinking about the story, playing around with what you’ll do next, what worked in a past scene or you want to change in another, that counts too. It’s still writing even if you’re not getting actual words down. The second is that if you’re blocked, look up the page. The answer is almost always two or three paragraphs before you stopped, or in bigger works, sections ahead. Finding the problem may be harder than expected, but it’s always there.

Today, all of our recs are from @oh-stars specifically! You can always see their recs on our Fic Fridays by checking our #mod stars rec tag.

#steddie #steddie fic recs #steddieunderdogfics #mod spotlight #mod stars #mod stars rec

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elrielffs · 3 months ago

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Lets talk about elain and azriel on the way they developed.

They started off as strangers and developed into cute little friends and then as time passed (acofas) the feelings started to develop and they slowly started to get over their old lovers. Its so beautiful to me and I will simply scream if they dont end up together cause HOW can you do something like that after setting them up like that?????!

dont even get me started on the truthteller scene. that scene called it for me. there is NO ABSOLUTE WAY THEY ARENT ENDGAME AFTER THAT. like wdym "azriel and elain were over in the bonus chapter and he has feelings for gwyn now" like what??? do you hear yourself right now? like that really set up a forbidden (i know people might think its weird to say forbidden when they're adults BUT YK WHAT I MEAN) trope! Choosing eachother over a bond, fighting for eachother!! its so beautiful! why are yall just focusing on the sisters x brothers part?? babes this book has been cliche the minute "love" was the answer to that riddle thing. you'll be fine.

LISTEN LISTEN I LOVE THEM

Elriel is poised to be my favorite romantic couple ever.

The Truthteller scene, Azriel finding out Elain's a Seer, the headache powder, the Hybern rescue...there's just no way these two aren't endgame and that's not counting allllll the other subtle scenes they have, the characters talking about mate bonds and accepting/not accepting and being chosen poorly in regards to Elain, and the meta.

Feysand and Nessian were romantic but to me, Elriel is Romantic with a capital R.

I'm over banter, I'm over couples being sassy to each other, I'm over reluctant mates, I'm over "healing journies".

I want a couple that are soft for each other, who are tender, who are sweet, who yearn and pine and pathetic how much they want each other.

And after 16 books of mate bonds, enemies-ish to lovers (Elriel would be friends to lovers, a trope I see antis say that want in the other ships not realizing that, once again, it's in Elriel), I want something new and I can only imagine SJM wants to write something new. A lot of SJM's couples are will they won't they and I feel like Elriel will be a they want to and they will no matter what with all these obstacles in their way (what's that? a plot??? not just a healing journey?)

And yeah, SJM is cliche. She says that about herself. She's cheesy, she's corny, she's not subtle and it's great. I don't need GRRM level twist/realism, I don't need theories that are constantly trying to one up each other in complexity and require a deep dive to understand, I don't need to analyze this text at a college level to understand the writing.

That's not how SJM writes/plots and that's not what I expect from these books. If that's what some readers want, there are thousands of other books that can do that for them. Leave ACOTAR alone.

#elriel #ask

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brownieblob · 2 months ago

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Be Careful Not to Mess With the Balance of Things"

Introductory post !!!

Max Russo x Fem!Reader

Chapter 1 (more coming soon...)

Synopsis:

When the usual becomes unusual all because of one girl…

Professor Crumbs never dropped by for casual visits. His sudden arrival carried grave news: A soul transfer by a nymph to a mortal girl, giving the mortal magical abilities. The girl, unaware of her new powers could fall victim to death or insanity if her powers were left untrained or weren't fully removed.

The Russo's weren't sure how exactly they played into this but once told that the only clue on finding this girl was her recent move to New York, alongside her family- things made more sense.

"So you want us to kidnap her?"

Naturally, none of the Russo's expected to actually bump into this girl, especially not Max. But upon bumping into the new girl at school, things took a sharp turn.

That girl was you.

Caught in a whirlwind of cheesy romance, clichéd tropes, and something as unreal as magic was you, painfully aware of how ridiculous everything seemed to be.

"Why does it feel like we're in a sitcom?"

But this wasn't a sitcom. Behind the sandwiches and spells was an ugly truth.

"You might die. Emphasis on the 'might'."

The 'might' didn't make it feel any better when everyone was so serious.

___ * ___

Y/N L/N

"What in the bippity boppity boo is this..?"

"So you kidnapped me?"

"Oh no. I have magical powers. What a catastrophe."

"Why does it feel like we're in a sit-com?

Max Russo

"So yeah, we need to not not kidnap you. So I think that means we need to kidnap you."

"You like sandwiches too?"

"I can't believe you guys thought I wouldn't do something so stupid."

"You have beautiful eyes...like olives. I think I'm hungry."

Justin Russo

"Does it not get through your thick skull? You have magic powers and need our help to help you control them. Thus, you should totally follow us into this cramped corridor. So what if we're strangers?"

"You might die. Emphasis on the 'might'."

"Since I'm the student body president, your actions affect my reputation. SO STOP THIS. Thank you"

Alex Russo

"When did the music get so romantic and WHY IS MAX HOLDING A BOUQUET?"

"Isn't it fun? You have magical powers, so what if you might explode. Yeah no, that sounded better in my head."

"Relax, without stupid people we wouldn't have anyone to laugh at, right Max?"

"Try this spell, it might work. I found it in this book- "Definitely Not Curses". See, they aren't curses."

Harper Finkle

"Like my new outfit? Only made of bubblewrap and cardboard."

"I don't think anyone needed to see that.."

"Why does she get magic powers and I don't? Oh, she might die? Nevermind."

Jerry & Theresa Russo

"They'd make a cute couple, right Jerry?" "Agreed"

"That's it Jerry. I need an explanation, now." "Argh..! Max, word your sentences better..!"

"That girl could die." "I know."

Professor Crumbs

"No Justin, I am not taking you on an escapade."

"Oh, I didn't expect them to actually find you."

"This is quite an interesting case, truly. I just don't understand why the Nymph chose you."

"Anyone for some tea?"

__ * __

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the character's from Wizard's Of Waverly Place, all credits go to Disney for the character's used from their franchise. The only characters I claim ownership of are one's I invented myself.

Author's Note: Hello guys, I'm Brownie and this is my first story on this fandom (or anything Disney really). This is supposed to be a crack-fic but it still has a plot and is still taken seriously by me. When I say 'crack', I mean that the MC (you) is VERY self-aware- and obviously Y/N isn't Candace but that's the kind of vibe I'm going for. I'm talking about the "this is the eleventh time we've bumped into each other today" OR "Why does it feel like we're in a rom-com movie" kind of humor. BUT because I'm recently in LOVE with Max Russo, the character, I JUST HAD to start writing this. Not to mention, there's a lack of fics on this fandom and him specifically (I'm on a mission to change that)

To read it on Wattpad

My other blog (main)

#wowp #wizards of waverly place #Max Russo #Justin Russo #Alex Russo #Max Russo x reader #x reader #magic #cliche tropes #crack fic #new blog #fanfic #new fanfic #romance #teen romance #imagine #intro post #disney

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phantomdialogue · 1 month ago

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˗ˏˋ. ݁₊ ✶ ˖ 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐲 𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐲 - 𝟒.𝟐𝟓/𝟓 ☆ . ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗

premise: when daphne's fiance, peter, leaves her for his lifelong best friend, petra, daphne is left to pick up the pieces of the life she made in waning bay for him. she just so happens to connect with petra's ex, miles, who has a spare room she can stay in. now she works to get to the end of the summer when she can finally leave her small town behind unless miles can find a reason, or make one himself, for her to stay.

couple: miles nowak and daphne vincent

tropes: roommates to lovers, opposites attract, forced proximity, fake dating, somewhat grumpy x sunshine

review below!

review:

this was an interesting read for me. i went into this with admittedly high expectations. both because it's an emily henry book and the three others of hers that i have read were all 6 star reads for me and because a lot of people love this book. but for me, it just fell a bit flat. i did still really enjoy it though. it has heart and you can really feel that emily henry charm in it still.

my main issue comes from a lack of urgency and weight to the plot. despite each chapter counting down to an inevitable date, the characters themselves put little emphasis on it that it doesn't carry any weight amongst them or drive them towards something. even as the romance starts to pick up, any roadblocks that come up aren't in relation to that count down. the romantic issues are centered around the characters rather than the plot and while this does work in some cases, it didn't work for me personally in this book. i felt like there needed to be more of the obstacles in relation to that set timeline rather than just leaving it on its own because it doesn't make it a point of stress for the reader without that extra bit of angst.

however... miles nowak... damn. i love that man. i IMMEDIATELY understood why people fancast dylan o'brien as him as well because he's just got that humorous loving vibe that feels so perfect for a book boyfriend to have. he just is such an interesting character with a depth that is so classic to emily henry's characters and writing and i loved him deeply. i was also a big fan of daphne but similar to the plot, i felt like there was something lacking for her character. maybe it was in relation to the lack of urgency that the plot gave because in return, it felt as though daphne didn't feel that urgency herself and it didn't feel as connected as perhaps poppy did in pwmov. you felt poppy's urgency in the timeline of the book and how important certain things were but we didn't get that same urgency from daphne that made it feel a bit disjointed.

overall, i will likely never dislike an emily henry book in all honesty. i love her writing and i love her characters and while i do believe, out of the 4 i've read now, this is her weakest, it's still a masterclass in the romance genre and how good writing can truly elevate some of the tropes we know and love into something a bit more profound.

q & a:

are they endgame? - this is one of the only emily henry couples i'm a little less sure about. they are so cute and i really loved them but i think that they both have some problems they need to work through and we don't get to see that as readers so it's hard to imagine a super solid endgame without knowing that they deal with those. miles has some issues in relation to his family and while daphne has those too, i think they are different enough to clash and cause some problems for them in the future. i think an endgame is 100% plausible and possible. but they may have to work for it a bit.

did i cringe? - i don't think so. i mean... the ending line is pretty damn cheesy but you can imagine that it would end like that with the title of the book so i was kind of expecting it.

favorite part? - am i going to sound like a broken record if i say miles again...? probably but it's true. he really is the star of this book for me. he brings such a lightheartedness to it while still having his own conflict and issues that arise that feel right for the story. his story with his sister was really interesting to me and i really enjoyed having that extra character along with the typical emily henry best friend of the fmc to push the story along and drive the main characters.

least favorite part? - i have mentioned the lack of urgency in the plot already but i think something that stood out a lot at the end of the book was how rushed it felt. i think it would have been way better with a few more chapters or even an extended epilogue. going from the last chapter into the epilogue really felt like it kind of discounted the last chapter and what conclusions were made because we only jump a year in time and everything that daphne had said she wanted, we skipped over as readers. not getting to see her get those desires made them feel less important when i think there were supposed to hold more weight.

favorite quotes (some spoilers here, of course, but minimal):

Life, I’d learned, is a revolving door. Most things that come into it only stay awhile.

And I never knew what it was I was running from, or to, until he said it. Home.

“She’s the love of my life,” he says. “The love of your life sucks,” I tell him.

“Smug little prick.” “He’s six four,” I say. “Smug giant douche,” he amends.

“Are we evil or just immature?” he says. “I think maybe just bitter,” I reply.

“I’ve got stuff to do, but if you hear from your ex, tell him I said . . .” He holds up his middle finger. “If you hear from yours, tell her thanks for the new boyfriend.” “Gladly,” he says, and turns to go.

“You should have told me you had food sensitivities before I ordered for you.” “It’s not, like, EpiPen serious,” I say, following him to the door. “Still,” he says.

“He told you to trust him, and that’s what you did,” he insists. “That’s what you’re supposed to be able to do with people you love. They just don’t always live up to it.”

“I will happily go back into the woods, find some sticks, and build you a tripod, Daphne,” he says.

“I like that it feels like I can live as many lives as I want,” I say. “What’s wrong with this one?”

“Or maybe,” he says, eyes crinkled against the sun, “everything worth doing comes with some risk.”

“If you’d been my librarian, I would’ve read a lot more.”

I’ve never met someone who was so . . . ‘in the moment,’ and that’s where I have to be, because if I think too much about the past or the future, I come apart.

The fact is, the most memorable parts of my childhood are the ones he missed, his absence exactly what gave them their weight.

I don’t want to go back to feeling unsteady. I don’t want it to hurt every time he lets me down. I already feel it again: the aching emptiness where my dad’s love should be.

I can be here, in the moment, instead of watching for smoke, ready to run.

But a part of me kept hoping I had changed enough that he couldn’t hurt me, or that this new iteration of me would be the one worth sticking around for. That I’d fixed whatever’s so broken in me that I can’t be loved.

I think you’re the first person who’s really seen me. Past what I want people to see.

“I won’t hurt you, Daphne.” “You don’t know that,” I whisper. “I know how hard I’ll try,” he says.

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