#and by autistic abt it I mean special interest

[okcoolthanks]

So much of my home feed is just birds now this is fucking awesome

[yardsards]

the true lumity dynamic is just

(luz is the btw and amity is the tbh)

[rosenfey]

🍄🍂 also I'm manifesting more palia followers because I need more ppl to share my hyperfixation with and also more palia content to consume in general so um. hi. if you like palia maybe give this a like? :3 🍂🍄

[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[alienaiver]

went to see godzilla!! i was so wired from happiness and excitement that i was milimeters from buying a ticket to the second showing thats gonna start in 20mins

[bonethievery]

Can something still be a special interest even if you haven't really engaged with it in years bc u forced urself 2 stop for one reason or another. asking for a friend

[streetcleanrr]

,

[totally-not-a-fandom-blog]

List of disabled warrior cats characters

found a list on a wiki and started this

this is canon only btw

had a lot of fun with this =3

feel free to comment on any i missed, ill happily add it! also please correct any mistakes made!

also! correct me if any of the categories ive made or if any of the terminology i use is offensive! thank you :]

"Loss of sensory perception" [sources 3 / 4]

one-eye (hard at seeing, half blinded)

brokenstar (blinded, broken tail)

longtail (blinded)

jayfeather (blind)

rock (blinded, due to old age)

rain (half blinded)

snowkit (deaf)

mille (hard at hearing deaf, due old age)

mentioned unnamed kit (deaf)

strikestone (half deafened)

fallowfern (deafened, due to old age)

recalled

brightheart (half deafened, half blinded)

fallowfern [sc] (deafened)

briarlight (back half paralyzed)

crookedjaw (broken inproperly healed jaw)

from research [sources 1 & 2]

freklewish [tc] (blinded)

whitewater (half blind)

oddfoot (twisted paw)

deadfoot (twisted left paw)

jagged peak (twisted back leg)

snowbird (twisted left paw)

cinderpelt (limp, due to being hit by a car)

moth flight (adhd / add)

alderheart (anxiety)

bluestar (depression, dementia, unspecified trauma)

palebird (postpartum depression)

goosefeather (dementia)

ravenpaw (anxiety, unspecified trauma, liver cancer)

violetshine (unspecified trauma)

ivypool (unspecified trauma)

dovewing (unspecified trauma)

fallen leaves (unspecified trauma)

littlecloud (unspecified trauma)

feathertail (unspecified trauma)

stormcloud (unspecified trauma)

violet (unspecified trauma)

breezepelt (unspecified trauma)

scourge (unspecified trauma)

tree (unspecified trauma)

shadowsight (epilepsy, unspecified trauma)

runningnose (unspecified chronic respiratory illness)

lepordstar (diabetes)

gray wing (lung damage, due to smoke

shellheart (stomach tumor)

lilywhisker (epilepsy)

twigbranch (traumatic injury [source did not verify what] [split ear?])

berrynose (tail heavily shortend [affecting balance])

halftail (tail heavily shortened)

-blind / blinded / hard of seeing / half blind: 9

-deaf / deafened / hard of hearing / half deaf: 7-twisted paw / limp / paralyzed: 6-mental disorders: 6

^ unspecified trauma: 14

-other: 11

tally: 53!

sources:

https://www.tumblr.com/disabledwarriors/search/Canon

https://www.tumblr.com/disabled-warriors-archive

https://warriors.fandom.com/wiki/Warriors_Wiki

^ https://warriors.fandom.com/wiki/Diseases_and_injuries

[caruliaa]

i love being autistic abt media. like did you guys know about this. did you guys know this its so fucking fun

[bukuoshin]

If Harry isn't intended to be autistic, the way he acts is like 300% more confusing.

[sillydummydum]

Hello Everybody!!!

My name's Luna, I'm an autistic 16y old demiaroace bissexual girl who really enjoys playing games, drawing and self shipping!! I've been doing it without knowing since I was like 8 so yeah -v-" I'm a little bit shy and definitely don't know how to make pretty aah tumblr posts but I try to have fun! Never interacted with much people from the self shipping community due to shyness-- but I'm happy to make new self shipper friends!! I tend to talk allot so sorry if I yap! I got the silly--

☆ She/her ☆

I really like:

- Persona (main special interest)

- Pokemon (very strong special interest!!)

- Sonic

- Undertale

- Touhou

- Rpg

- Honestly videogame and uh-- hell! even anime in general!! sign me in! I really like to learn abt other people's passions so plz show me lots of cool media!! I'll love it!

- Does my boyfriend counts?... cuz I do like him allot

- Making friends!!

I don't really enjoy:

- fighting on the Internet (I swear don't fight me I'll cry) /j

- Basic dni stuff yk just bad people in general

- Anti self shippers duhh

- People who don't like my boyfriend

- People who DO like my boyfriend/j

Romantic F/O's:

- Goro Akechi ♡ (my main f/o!! My boyfriend! My silly!~ Will mostly if not a 100% of the time talk about him!! And I'm usually mocking him lol he's stupid, miserable and fun to laugh at/pos Not really comfy with sharing! Aaah sorry i mean i don't mind if you interact but you knoooow... ><")

- Naoto Shirogane (kinda jealous so nu-uh)

- X!tale Chara (don't mind!)

- Satori Komeiji (don't mind~)

Short list lol the only ones I am very invested in are Goro and Naoto, i'm a detective kisser ig 😭

- Shuichi Saihara (don't mind!!)

- Shadow the hedgehog (It's a little funny to think abt that one I mean I freaking love yall Shadow selfshippers plz do interact)

Platonic F/O's:

- Honestly all the persona 3/4/5 main cast are my best friends in my respective persona alternate universes, change my mind. BESTIES BESTIES BESTIES!!! I LOVE MAKING FRIENDS AND BEING SILLY WITH THEM!!!

- Akiren and Futaba specially tho, Leblanc familly makes me happy happy happy hi Sojiro plz adopt me :3

- Sumire too, THAT'S MY BESTIE RIGHT HERE EVERYONE!!!! (Can my royal trio favoritism be noticed throughout this post? Impossible challenge.)

- Nanako as well!~ my cute little consideration sis <3

- Sumireko is my absolute Touhou bestie!!!

- Flandres is my sis <3 (Remi too naturally cof cof)

- Cream the rabbit as my little sister? HELL YEAH, CLAIMED!! (I really enjoy having siblings leave me alone 😭)

- If a character exists in a media I self insert into, i'll probably be their friend or steal their blood/hj

Okay let me stop myself before i start becoming a friends/sister with the whole fictional universe...

So that's it! I'm not really good at using tumblr or... talking to people-- so yeah lol sorry!! I just really really like my boyfriend and wanted to share that! he makes me happy and joyful and makes me forget about my problems to worry about his ♡ And i wish that everyone could be able to experience that hapinnes without judgements! happy self shipping for everyone!!! And remember...

Your F/O loves you ♡

|....☆.....☆......☆......☆.....☆.....☆......☆......☆.....☆....|

[damagedcoda6669]

okay so i am. so confused! are you a system/plural after all?

you made a post on your twitter about being the "original host" which is. a plural term of course but ALSO i'd like to say that the idea of there being an "original" is veeery misleading and not actually possible in DID/OSDD

the reason DID/OSDD exists at all is because a child's identity was unable to fully form in their developmental years, so the identity splits off and fractures into several parts necessary to keep the child safe. because of this, there can be no "original host" because there was never an identity formed that could be considered the "core," in a way, at all. it gives off the idea that there was one set identity that split off others later on in life, which isnt how DID/OSDD works in terms of alter formation

also, the disorder can only be developed in your early formative years, so its mostly unheard of for a system to go through life with a single part only to split off later on. your brain splits off alters in response to stressors or traumatic experiences, and so when the disorder is formed there would have to have been a fracture from the beginning where your identity wasnt able to come together to form a single one. multiple alters can be "original," in a sense, but there is not one sole original

i suppose that other alters could have simply been integrated and so they arent a part of your system anymore (leaving you as the "original host"), but thats probably not my place to explore and its all a bit too complicated for a tumblr ask

there are parts that have been around longer than all the other parts and there are parts that identify with/as the body or the head of the system, buuuut i just wanted to share that tidbit of information because misinformation can be very harmful when it comes to healthy plurality!!

in any case, dont let this cause you to spiral into more self-doubt because — surprise! DID/OSDD is supposed to be hard to understand or identify within yourself. its a trauma disorder formed to make you as functional as possible, so generally the disorder tries very hard to hide your other parts from you as to protect you from those traumas. being confused is a major part of plurality, and most long-term hosts do have the misconception of being "original" because there was no reason to think otherwise.

its also fully possible that you have been the host for the majority (or entirety) of your life, so dont get me wrong! im just trying to share that the idea of an "original" alter isnt possible.

regardless of whether or not you're plural, i wish you the best in exploring yourself and the way that your brain functions. you're doing great, truly!

and if i misinterpreted anything, im deeply sorry for that too. i'm just a stranger on the internet trying to provide input using the information i was given, and i genuinely dont mean any offense by this ask. DID/OSDD is also something i'm very interested in and passionate about as an autistic individual, so... im very sorry for the essay

THIS IS SO HELPFUL U HAVE NO IDEA. I KNOW NEXT 2 NOTHING ABT PLURALITY AND SYSTEMS. dont apologize 4 the rambling, its much appreciated!!! i get the same way abt bpd and autism so i get it!!! psychology and mental disorders r one of my special interests so im the same way!!! ^_^

i guess my post moreso came from the concern that i only have vry vry spotty, fuzzy, sometimes FAKE memories of my childhood, if any at all (id say i remember less than 1% of it, and most of what i "remember" is only becuz of photo evidence or testimony from other ppl) and my identity only rlly formed when i joined the internet at maybe 12 yrs old. so i sometimes have doubts that i formed when the body was born, but rather that i was created and that im a product of the internet inparticular, but that might also be a delusion??? its confusing, whenever i get ideas abt my identity they turn out 2 be fake sometimes. its hard 2 pinpoint what i am. so i was trying 2 say that i dont think ive been here since the birth of the body and that i spawned later on. idk if im explaining myself correctly, its hard 4 me 2 understand. but i appreciate u correcting me and explaining it 2 me in a way thats easy 4 me 2 digest!!! i dont want 2 spread misinfo evr.

i think im plural??? ive had liek 8 headmates (and a headspace at one point) that ive been able 2 identify, but nobodys rlly taken me srsly abt it until vry vry recently. ive always been told that im making it up 4 attention, or that im faking DID, and i was even told by a dumbass doctor that it was just my autism and that they were all imaginary. i nvr rlly claimed 2 be plural either, i always just got shot down whenevr i introduced the possibility of there being other sentient ppl in my brain. but i think that i am, probably. im not sticking 2 any labels atm becuz im confused and uneducated abt my headmates and im not diagnosed w anything, but i feel comfy with plural as a label becuz its a vague umbrella term. i nevr claimed 2 have DID becuz ive always known that my headmates cant front and take over my body (ive even asked one and she told me she couldnt LOL) ALTHOUGH. they MIGHT be able 2 front simultaneously as me, ive had edgy (whos currently dormant) finish art 4 me if i got tired, back in 2020 when he was still active. and i know alters fronting is a diagnostic requirement for DID (i think???) but i dunno. theres SOMETHING up w my brain.

i tried 2 post abt it on twitter actually, that i thought i was plural (a handful of ppl asked me so i wanted 2 confirm) but i deleted the post like an hour later becuz i wasnt getting any comments or likes and i was scared that i did something wrong and didnt know, or that im not actually plural and other plural ppl were mad at me 4 using their label. it made me so anxious >n<

i am such a yapper.. 4give me

[lace-coffin]

It's me again! I have another request, and I think you might like this one! But a few things first.

I love your profile picture! I very much wanna do that to a Yautja, and have reason to believe it is the most effective way to calm your mate when I'm privacy 👍

I'm glad you appreciate how in depth I go when making a request! I've dealt with other people who tell me I should shorten the detail, and it has made me very sad. Mostly because the reason I go so deep into depth is because autism demands it --

Anyways!

I was wondering if you could write some headcannons for Asa with a more feral pet? Like, when he's with them or their with his bugs/arachnids?

Baby, sweet one, gentlest thing alive, happy animal noises, copious amounts of purring (yes, his pet can purr how lucky did he get?)

But when confronted with a violent escaped toy? Teeth are bared, growling, snarling, split flying, clawing, kicking, scratching, going for areas that hurt not even Asa knows about

Yet when Asa tries to calm them down, all he need do is just

And bang! Pet is back to normal

Better description of what I have in mind!

Once again, and toy escaped, this time from the box. Asa. Is. FURIOUS

This is the second time this has happened! he fuming as he stalks the halls, when he suddenly hears loud screaming and cursing. Cold fear goes down his spine, his pet is out and about, and we're much to small to fend off his newest toy, why, he's bigger than Asa!

Listening intently as the pained wailing turns into gurgles, he bursts into the area where he "plays" with his new toys, and finds his pet standing above the toys dead body. Scratches litter his arms, his eyes have been clawed open and gored, and his throat? Ripped completely out.

We stand huffing over it, shoulders tense with adrenaline and hands blood stained until half up our forearm. We turn our head to the side, eyes shrunken our mouth and has doused in blood, the man's throat clutched between our teeth.

We blink, split out the throat, and fully turn to Asa. Suddenly, Asa's pet looks sheepish, ducking their head as they play with their hands and avoid eye contact. Timidly we say "i-...I caught him, Master"

having so many thoughtshhhhhhhhhh

Asa Emory x Feral! Gn! Reader

Asa Emory x gn!reader

trigger warning for graphic violence,description of gore/corpses and power dynamics

Requests are closed (for now!!)

First of all thank you for the request! I always super enjoy writing urs!

I would also love to hold a Yautja gentle like hamburger and pet their mandibles, save me big Yautja women.

I’m sorry people have been mean to u abt how u prefer to send requests : ( I’m also autistic so u being specific in what u want also rlly helps me out!

Your relationship with Asa was strange, well it was strange from an outsiders perspective, not that you really saw them much anyway, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s just your relationship was different from his other pets. Obviously you were the favourite, sleeping in a cute padded cage whilst the others slept in a fenced off area and essentially cannibalised each-other from starvation. Meanwhile you were fed 3 balanced meals a day plus snacks. If Asa was somewhere in the hotel it’s basically assured you’re there too, probably perched on his lap, gloved hand running under your chin as you rumble and purr happily.

Despite the amount of fight you put up at first you were truly a lap dog through and through, always at your masters heels even if he wasn’t doing anything of interest, as long as you could lay under the desk and wrap an arm around his ankle you were happy. Asa never really was one for physical affection but he’s grown to love it since ‘acquiring’ you, not that he really had a choice with the way you stuck to his side like a rodent on a glue trap, he’s wasn’t complaining however. With the way you clung to him anyone would think you’re the one who’s holding him captive.

This unfortunately wasn’t the case with other inhabitants. Your special place in his heart was only 80% of the reason you got special treatment, granted it would’ve happened anyway but it may have been hurried along by the fact that he didn’t trust you to cohabitate with the toys he kept. You know the reports you get back from doggy daycare? The ones that say “doesn’t play well with others”? Yeah. That was you.

On multiple occasions even before settling in he’d caught you surround by bodies or chunks of other people in your mouth. Clearly you didn’t take well to sharing whether it be food or Asa’s affection. If you were anyone else you would’ve been slaughtered already for conveniences sake but he’d seen the way you soften when he visited. He knew there was something more to it.

Cut to current day, Asa is stressed and pissed off. A new toy has escaped, he could have sworn the box was secured properly, even double checking it. To be fair the toy in question was built like a brick shit house, taller and stronger than himself. Hopefully the term “the bigger they are the harder they fall” will apply to them, for both your and Asa’s sake.

Thats another issue, you’re currently roaming the halls too. Your master doesn’t usually have to worry about you when you’re out and about in the hotel, the minute you slip from his side it’s like all placidity and calm he’s come to love dissipates, leaving you the feral beast he had first stolen from your home. If anything it’s comforting for him to know you can hold your own out there. He keeps a watchful eye on you but not even he can anticipate what’s going to happen sometimes. Despite his opinion of himself he was only mortal.

It was now a race against time to either locate you and get you back to safety whilst he re contains the rogue or find said escapee first and detain him before you can cross paths. Your sir knows you can usually handle trouble but this guy is huge..

Asa swears under his breath and hauls himself through the twisting corridors, dipping in and out of rooms in search of either of you. Beginning to panic more as you prove hard to find he calls out for you, hands cupped around his mouth. “Pet? It’s time to come back, this is serious, I need you back right now.” He tries not to let the anxiety bleed into his voice, not wanting to scare you, and smothers it with an authoritarian tone. He waits a few moments to listen for any response. Shit. Nothing.

He moves further into the hotel and onto the other side, cupping his hands again and trying once more “cricket? I’m not playing, I need you here now” nothing again. Just as he turns his heel to try another direction he hears a noise that turns his blood to ice. Disgusting wet gurgles and muffled curses boom from down the hall. Asa isn’t easy to startle considering the vile things he does everyday to real people but the idea of you being in pain and too late to save- it makes him want to vomit.

Pushing through the nausea he bolts down the hallway and slams the doors to his ‘playroom’ open. Usually this room is reserved for experimenting on subjects.

What he sees calms him and raises his heart rate at the same time.

There you are, his perfect docile pup, hunched over what is (was) his newest pet. Shoulders raised, hackles up. The body below you is almost unrecognisable, arms littered with angry raised scratches, most likely from you struggling. Eyes completely missing from the sockets, well one was still technically attached to the coord but that’s not important. Chunks of once warm and rosey cheek flesh have been gouged from the skull, the imprints around them suggest the flesh was bitten away from the bone. Lastly and maybe most notably the throat is missing a considerable amount of matter. The hole runs deep, severed veins now lazily trickling warm blood into a puddle after the initial bite drained most of it.

Eventually you notice another presence and bristle, turning your head slowly to meet Asa’s eyes. Your eyes are essentially bulging out of your head, pupils dilated and crazed, throat and forearms doused in slowly cooling crimson. A chunk of what Asa presumes to be the missing throat lodged in your firmly set jaw.

The second you realise who it is it’s like you gain some clarity, spitting the foul meat onto the floor and wiping your mouth on your sleeve. It doesn’t help, only smearing the liquid further. Turning completely to face your master you slump onto your knees, eyes down to the floor shy and respectful like you’ve been trained. “I-…I caught him master.” It comes out croakier than you’d like.

You keep your eyes trained to the floor as the larger man approaches, heavy boots thumping on the floor towards you. You brace for the telling off, you can see yourself ending back up with the other fodder pets, you’d really pushed it this time, killing another subject. However it never comes. two warm now ungloved hands cup your bloody cheeks, gently coercing you to look at him. To your surprise Asa looks…relieved almost?

A soft smile paints his face. “You did catch him, thank you pet.” You sit there dazed and confused as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, ignoring the hair matted to it from the gore. “You did such a good job and I’m more than relived your unharmed, I don’t know what I’d-“ Asa cuts himself off, clearing his throat,not wanting to show vulnerability right now when you’re the one who needs attention. You don’t miss the way his voice wavers with worry. Embarrassed he quickly offers you a hand up, spinning on his heel and facing away. “Let’s get you cleaned up and rewarded shall we?” You don’t see the pink tint on his face.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Reader that can emit sounds from their memory(like as an aura)

Walk into a room? Why do I hear boss music

Comedic timing? Fuck yeah.

Bored? Jumpscare noise.

Zhongli talking? Jeopardy theme.

Someone is annoying? Earrape.

Think about it!

Hello! I’m the 12th Harbinger, aka as CHIL- bitch shut the fuck up, WHATS UP ITS YA BOY AQUARIUSSS- /ref

lmao imagine you walking into a room like this in teyvat, with like that audio I SAVE BY GIVING IT CPR- TIGHT AS VIRGIN BOY DONT GET NERVOUS-

(also ill stop apologizing for the late replies to these, bc as we all know by now that im slow and u will get answered eventually i promise tumblr most likely didnt delete u guys asks im just hoarding them LMAO)

I’ve been super busy running in circles so sorry about ghosting! I still very much enjoy and love u guys and love seeing you guys enjoy my stuff :’) 

Still cant believe that, but thank you!

JEOPARDY THEME MUSIC WHEN ZHONGLI TALKS

HE’D BE SO CONFUSED

THINKIN HE GOT AN ANCIENT CURSE HE DOESNT KNOW ABT PUT ON HIM OR SMTH BC HE’S ALWAYS BEING STALKED BY THIS SONG-

(tbh unless the person is super observant I dont think most ppl would get that it’s YOU causing this chaos lmao)

◇

Like I can see Zhongli eventually getting it lol, other ppl I could see after the first few weeks of interacting with you (esp bc you mix it up, honestly it was only bc u kept playing the jeopardy theme over and over when Zhongli ranted on too long that he got it was you 💀):

Heizou (he’s the best detective on all of Inazuma’s islands, ofc he got it! no he will not acknowledge that he totally thought you were hiding a very musical tanuki somewhere on your person at all times lol)

◇

Alhaitham and Cyno (haitham took like, two hours of walking around town with you and knew, bc he’s a little know-it-all lazy bastard like that, and Cyno is actually just really aware, despite what most ppl think, he’s the General Mahamatra and not just a regular Mahamatra for a reason after all)

◇

Tighnari (i stg he can like, smell when bullshittery is happening in his vicinity …or... hear?)

◇

Venti (unsurpringly, he’s totally in love with this power of yours, i mean he definitely loves you cares about you a lot he says, but you’re starting to think he’s just lying to butter you up into pranking Diluc, Barbara, Jean, and really the entirety of Mondstadt more often  including Zhongli just so he can laugh until he’s on the ground again, also he definitely once asked you to make a dragon sound that’s the equivalent of shouting FUCK at Dvalin when he was flying overhead one day)

◇

Hmm

Hm hm hmmmm

Who elseee, i need a characcctterrr lisstttt…

Albedo (duh, he’s albedo, you think he has an entirely too thick folder dedicated to your recent obsessions, you rant a lot about it while playing and also he can access your browsing history 👀, and he somehow doesn't know that about you?? You’re like, literally one of his long-term, there-for-life, has-bought-a-house-for-free-in-his-head-you- arent-even-on-rent-anymore, hyperfixations or special interests. Autistic!Albedo is autistic, Because I Am Your God, And I Say It Is So.)

◇

Dehya (always knows when its you walking around near her bc you like to listen to your old world’s songs too often when you arent pranking bitches, she actually rlly likes it and your music tastes…)

☆

HOLY FUCK SPEED RUN BC GOD THERE’S TOO MANY BITCHES WANNA BE YOUR BABY, RIDING AROUND IN A DAMN MERCEDES-

OKAY-

SO not all in the same way or at the same time, or even the same length of time did they realize you literally change background music or some shit so I’ll let you just- you know okay- like you get it- you get it.

Xiao, Kazuha, Kaeya, Diluc, Ayato, Yae Miko, Keqing, Qiqi, Klee, Sara, Kuki, Nahida, Ningguang, Rosaria, Scaramouche/Babygirl, Dainsleif, Kokomi, Xinyan, Yun Jin, Yelan. 

Jfc got the whole damn pride flag up here

Anyway everybody else outta luck, at least takes em a month or longer to get it lol

♡

Sorry abt the end there i didnt feel like writing out all those bitches bc the few I did before were already longer than I thought they’d be…

Also, I am posting these spam of drafts (and that old follower 100+ event possession headcanons in prep for the next 2 weeks bc I will be really busy, again :/

Got spring break shenanigans this week, then I’ll be running around like a cat with zoomies bc im getting ready to install/actually submit my artworks for the gallery exhibition! 

…wish me luck or prayers or anything good from any god you believe in, I need the strength. 

With love, safe travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[tardycat4]

INTRO! i am new to tumblr i need mutuals so bad💟☮️

hello i am pete i am a nonbinary lesbian and i love my gf

⚠️⚠️⚠️AUTISTIC AF⚠️⚠️⚠️

multifandom

sometimes i will post art and sometimes i will post abt my special interests

fandoms? :3 (purple means its a special interest)

of montreal

elephant 6 collective

the aquabats

superjail

life is strange

legend of zelda

the monkees

the gorillaz

the L word

nintendo

fallout

bobs burgers

bcs/brba

fight club

yellowjackets

twd games

bowie

queen

beatles

talking heads

devo

xtc

duran duran

oingo boingo

prince

80s music in general :3

indie rock

[cloudycleric]

ok i will make a post abt this bc i need to get it out there so i can stop mulling this over in my brainhole.

i am not gonna lie, the situation with noah schnapp recently has made me extremely depressed, & i just don't get that same umph from stranger things content right now, especially when i'm alone. sometimes it seems as though i am interacting with it solely because it is my special interest-- BUT, that being said, & by typing that out, i realize how important & special stranger things is to me. so this is by no means a "i'm leaving the fandom" post or anything. just food for thought regarding stranger things/byler & autism & whatever else i write about.

i sometimes wish i could go back in time to before i knew what special interests/hyper fixations were. ever since i learned about that as a concept & tried to apply that understanding of it to my life i've been in a constant state of anxiety regarding my special interests. it's always, "oh, but when will x stop making me happy?" or "oh god do i not enjoy x anymore" or "is this the end of x & me?" stuff like that. usually it just goes away in a couple of weeks but this whole noah thing has made it wayyy worse, & the way the fandom decided to handle the situation only fueled the fire. so, i am just saying, sometimes the idea or concept of a special interest can really freak me out as an autistic person just because of "the end" of it. & that's my two cents or whatever.

SO--to my autistic friends, do you relate? do you have this anxiety?? how do you deal with it?

& to my stranger things friends--things have been weird. i don't think that's a surprise to anyone or something that nobody has been talking about. but it's just weird & i wish it could go back to the way it was. & not that the stranger things space has been forever changed, it just fucking sucks having to deal with it now. but nowhere to do but up right? idk. let me know