#and by all month i mean these past 3 days
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1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to? I consider myself therian and fictionkin.
2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any) I am a turkish angora (breed of felis catus/domestic cat), Vancouver coastal sea wolf, jackdaw and orca, as well as Applejack from My Little Pony FiM and Mercutio from the 2010 revival cast of the musical Romeo et Juliette: les enfants de Vérone.
3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)? Yes, I mainly experience phantom shifts and sensory shifts. I often feel cat ears on my head or wings on my back, and sometimes a hat due to my fictotype. My weirdest cameo shift was probably two or so years ago when I had a phantom shift of having an extremely long, snake-like body. I thought I was snakekin at first but after a few months I realised I'm actually snake otherhearted and it was just a cameo shift.
4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life? Usually it isn't a big part of my day to day life, and I only actively engage in my alterhumanity when I'm at home online, or with my neighbour (who is also alterhuman). It's mostly just pushed to the back of my mind because I have more important things to worry about lately.
5/ What do you think of the community? It depends on which platform's community I am interacting with. For example, I used to be part of the Reddit alterhuman community until I was severely bullied for being a polytherian with more than 2 theriotypes and quit Reddit forever (No joke, that one user wrote two entire damn essays and even went to my profile to diss me for being queer as well) That community was horrible, on the same level as the TikTok community, maybe even worse. However, the Tumblr community has been the most inviting and accepting community I have ever been in. Physical alterhumans, niche otherkins, anything and everything is welcomed openly (for the most part. As long as you ignore the trolls and the rare less accepting users).
6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity? For my therianthropy, connecting with nature. Going for walks, road trips, enjoying the scenery, the smell of rain, etc etc. In relation to my fictotypes, engaging with my source and creating art/videos based off my source (I love being an artist. I can draw myself!!)
7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria? I used to experience it more severely than now. Nowadays I'm pretty chill, aside from the occasional 'damn why is my face so flat this is so wrong'
8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened? Gear does not mean you are alterhuman, and not wearing gear doesn't mean you are faking it. Not all people who wear gear are alterhuman, and not all alterhumans wear gear. You can wear gear, you can not wear gear, you can do whatever you wish. If it makes you happy, do it. It's okay to kinfirm something and then decide it's not right later on. It does not mean you were faking it. It was just a step in you discovering your identity. Even if you decide you're not alterhuman after all, that's perfectly fine too!
9/ Do you have/want to have gears? I own multiple ear headbands, as well as a half-finished mask and tail, but I never wear anything other than one ear headband on rare occasions.
10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate) I believe some of my kintypes originate from past lives, such as my cat, wolf and both fictotypes. My other two theriotypes are psychological in origin, though I don't have any specific details.
If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!
(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?
2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)
3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?
4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?
5/ What do you think of the community?
6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?
7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?
8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?
9/ Do you have/want to have gears?
10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)
11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈
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New information about Dybowski's position at IPL
Alexey Luchin, former Ice Pick Lodge employee, has come forward backing up Renata's claims with additional accusations of grooming and additional abuse. Here's his full statement:
This clarifies the question of Dybowski's position at Ice Pick Lodge, since according to Luchin, he's still in a creative position and fully involved in the company, and he's only claiming to have sold IPL away/severed ties with it to avoid alimony payments in court.
Nikolay formally removed himself from the company (IPL) in a legal sense, in order to avoid paying adequate alimony. The payments on the screenshots are as low as 100$, which isn't nearly enough. [...] He's still working, the maneur [sic] is only to avoid alimony. Though I must say, these days the team is "carrying" him mostly. New Ice-Pick Lodge is great, there are lots of motivated people who gre up on old Ice-Pick games and are doing their very best!
This coupled with various claims about former students of Dybowski's working at IPL and being abused by him gives us a clearer picture that the situation at the studio is incredibly complicated, with both people being actively victimized by him and others knowingly protecting him by keeping their silence. This situation also means Dybowski might be getting paid under the table.
As good as it is that we now have a former IPL employee taking a solid stance against Dybowski, there's some things to keep in mind for the sake of protecting present and future SA victims.
Alexey Luchin is not a hero, he's someone who, intentionally or not, still helped Dybowski by keeping his silence and now finally had the decency to come forward about his abuse. He apparently "knew Dybowski well", and kept quiet about what he did for years until he found out Dybowski had targeted his girlfriend. If there's anything to take from this situation is that abusers don't get away with their behavior on their own. They have a social, legal, political net supporting them, keeping their secrets and that's the reason they're allowed to offend again, for years, with no repercussions. I'm glad Luchin is helping Dybowski's victims but he shouldn't be congratulated and hailed for doing something he should have done years ago.
Additionally, Ice Pick Lodge as a whole has proven to not be transparent about their activities, from smaller things such as incorrect crediting of artists working on their projects (as pointed out by Luchin himself in the linked post: "Though my work is uncredited on both Pathologics ironically, but also I'm falsely credited on Knock-Knock, which I haven't worked on."), to the incredibly shady situation of Dybowski's position in the company, to the fact that Luchin has also mentioned in the same post that Dybowski hasn't been very involved in the company since The Void (2008), although he had extensive credited participation on Pathologic 2 (2019), aside from still talking about Pathologic 3 on panels and interviews as recently as last month. Adding to this, IPL also doesn't list all of their games on their website as is the case with Franz (2023), a mobile game that centers on themes of promoting abuse and misogyny.
This to say, we should all be waiting for a formal statement about this situation, but keep in mind that statement will possibly never come and the IPL management will instead choose to wait for this to be swept under the rug as it already was in the past. Be aware also that due to IPL's lack of transparency, this possible statement might be a smokescreen and they might keep Dybowski working as an uncredited employee. We should only stop pressuring IPL when there's definitive proof, documented and backed with comments from other employees, that he's been fired from the studio. Until then, while I still stress any members of IPL should not be harassed and must be treated respectfully, I personally still encourage a financial boycott of IPL since I refuse to keep monetarily enabling an abuser and a company management that has proven to be incredibly lenient not only with Dybowski's actions but also with the messages he promotes in his projects which match his person. I wish the employees he victimized healing and a bright future.
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✨Ali's Birthday Bash!✨
Part 2 | Part 3
Hi everyone!!! Welcome to my birthday bash!! I have exactly one week till my 26th bday!! (It's special cause I'm only 26 on the 26th once!! 😁) I decided a month or so ago that I would like to spend it giving back to the people who have made me feel loved and accepted here on this silly little app and in this wonderful community! 💕 I am oh so grateful, and so beyond awestruck by the friends I've made here and the opportunities to bond with people I never would have met or had otherwise, that I had to do something to show my appreciation. 💗 I won't wax poetic too hard in this opening section, except in the little tidbits below, but my goal is to get 2 of these out a day, probably at different times each day (cause my schedule is a little erratic haha 💗) and I'm going to try so hard to get to everyone- I have some backlog, and I hope I can finish all of these before next week is up! But please bear with me! 💕 This may extend past my bday cause I work fulltime and I have to travel for the holidays, but I have a big list and a lot of people to show love to, so! 💗 Without further ado!!
divider here!
Ysera (for @khywren)
This was the first portrait (right? portrait? ahh idk) I completed!! I have some gripes with it, and I spent so much time trying to go back and forth trying to get things and proportions and perspectives right, but I think she's ready!! I'm not going to be a perfectionist any longer (a bald-faced lie) but I can't keep staring at it!! Now on to what really matters! @khywren you have been such an amazing friend and wonderful presence in my life ever since I met you!! You were one of the very first people to read my fic and comment on it, and you care so much about my writing and show it and it just means so much to me (": Before you and a few other people began to read it, I didn't think I would continue anymore, but you helped me come out of that funk and feel better about the good and the bad! 💕I love Ysera so much, I cherish her and her nature and personality and wish I could hug her on the daily 💗 Your writing is so beautiful and evocative, and it's truly a gift to this fandom- I am so happy to call you my friend and so glad that I get to read your work! I hope I did your gal justice!! 💕 You have my heart forever 🥺💕
Tav (for @bby-bel-art)
BELLL!!! 💜💜 You are such an amazing person!!! I am so so so grateful we met! You are an incredibly talented artist with such a big heart and I treasure you so much! I cannot tell you how insanely overwhelmed with love I feel every time you send me a little art of Ofelia, or make a playlist for my fic, or tell me an idea and I just 🥺💕I feel so unworthy and awed that you like it and think about it and it's crazy- I truly don't know what I did to deserve you, but I am forever honored! You have the best music taste and I admire you so much- thank you for everything, and thank you for being my friend!!! 😁💜 I hope you like this little art of Tav- I am new to scales, so they may not look exactly like they do in the game, or much of the features 💀 But I hope you like it! 💜
Look out for more of these in the coming week! I will tag them all as #ali's birthday bash so hopefully they're a bit easier to find! I love you all so much!!!
#ali's birthday bash#art#my friend's tavs#friend appreciation post#my art#portraits#tav#bg3 tav#tiefling#drow#procreate#personal#being corny but i was BORN on the cob so#LOVE LOVE YOU ALL SM!! <3
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where shall we go? - mellowcle
gift to twottie, from frog 🐸
shhhh shhhh, quietttt. this'll be twottie's first time seeing their birthday present :D
#art#animation#artists on tumblr#vocaloid#mellowcle#where shall we go#twog#frog art#happy birthday twottie#y'all it was such a pain trying to get this done all month#and by all month i mean these past 3 days#they dont call me a silly billy for nothing - 🐸#also sorry i couldn't add subtitles#im too weak i already put this off until the day of ToT
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JIN HUGS JIN HUGS! for @jinstronaut ♡
cr. namuspromised, dwellingsouls, 0613data
#btsgif#dailybts#btsedit#seokjin#bts#bangtan#usersky#usersan#userkelli#usermaggie#raplineuser#usersevn#tuserandi#userpat#userines#*sj#*bangtan#*comp#*gifs#em I have no idea in which timezone you are so I'm just gonna let this post at midnight my time asdgh#HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!!!! I hope you'll have theeee bestest of days today my love you deserve it like no one else#I mean you've literally gifted us 500+ jin sets over the past 18 months -#this seems like the smallest thank you in return#you asked if someone could send you jinnie hugs so here I am!!!#if I could I'd fly to korea grab that man under his gigantic shoulders and bring him directly to your doorstep for the biggest bday hug#but for now this little set will have to do!#it gave me so much happiness just look at all the smiles with those big hugs :( and ofc I had to start and end it with jinkook <33#I love you lots emmeline thank you for being an amazing person all the time#you deserve so much appreciation and love and I hope you get showered with just that#not only today but all the time <3
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hulu was doing live coverage of the election until 2:00am, at which point my power randomly went out and when I reopened the hulu app on my tv the election coverage was replaced with
#us politics#I don't care if it was intentional or a coincidence or what that shit is funny as hell#I got like 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours#my closest friends are sleeping and don't know yet#we're going to dc a month from now on vacation and none of us expected this#I've been on twitter and it's crushing I see my friends in fear for their lives#I see the worst people in the world cheering for their own downfall because all they care about is someone else having it worse#like they'll douse the vulnerable among us with gasoline and pray for hellfire thinking they'll be safe#but the flames don't discriminate like they do and we're all going to burn#except for the wealthy and powerful of course they'll be polluting the solar system or dead from old age#and the only hell they'll ever know is the one millions upon millions of people eagerly built in their names#in the name of 'greatness'#(man I get really melodramatic when I haven't slept)#and I'm scared too I didn't think this was going to happen and I have no idea what the future holds anymore#and I know I'm privileged to be able to say this when people's lives are about to be destroyed but I think I'm more sad than anything#so disappointed that 70 million people voted for *that*#because it's completely unconscionable to anyone with a soul but somehow he's winning the popular vote for the first time???#what do you mean more people like him now than they did in 2016 and 2020#this genuinely feels like a nightmare are we really so far gone as a country??? as a society?????#that we would not only let a convicted felon (who was served a lawsuit ON ELECTION DAY) on the ballot#but that SEVENTY. MILLION. PEOPLE. would vote for him? to run the country??? to represent us on a global stage?????#*THAT'S* what we as a nation have chosen??? what the fuck is wrong with this country?????#why him indeed#and yet I still have hope#inexplicably
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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hi i have been inactive for a while due to the chk chk boom. hope you understand.
#HI HELLO BESTIES I WISH I COULD UPDATE YOU GUYS BUT I HAVE BEEN SUPER BUSY AND CONSUMED BY THE HORRORS™#basically im moving out the country in like four days so packing has been a whole ordeal#not to mention i'm procrastinating feeling my feelings#my three month gre prep plan turned into a one week prep reality T-T my unofficial score is 321 out of 340 which is... idrk#i was in the middle of a lot of things and given the level of time and energy i was able to commit amidst the chaos... it's not too bad.#OH ALSO i got done with the round one registration for my courses today and it was a MESS#(technically only the in-dept courses were due today. the ones from the other depts were due 17th. either way. the website was being cruel)#oh and as for out-dept courses it's a different procedure but I managed to get Intro to ML! absolutely insane given my meager coding skills#as well as my shaky understanding of engineering calculus. in other words welcome back my arch nemesis slash lover miss mathematics#oh and! all my friends are also moving away which basically means the past week has been meeting my besties and trying not to cry#i've been reading a bit as well! i read assistant to the villain and it was simply the cutest book ever i need the sequel SO BAD#OH AND GOSE IS BACK so that's been fun#so yeah that's what's up#i really wished i had more time to update on here I had a really cool idea for this week but i've been too exhausted sighhh#hope you guys have been doing well also please feel free to text or tag me on posts i might not be able to reply but i love reading updates#sending lots of hugs and chocolates to all my beloveds <3#oh oh also please go check out skz's comeback it's so good!#okay it's like 12:26am now ima go sleep now gnight byeeee#megumi in the tags#megumi.fm
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my mother, ever trying to invent drama and catastrophe and get me over to her house so she can argue with me, has informed me today, the first time she's talked to me since the last ~catastrophe~ she overreacted to and fought with me, that there is 'water on the side of the house'
outside? yes.
it's been raining on and off here for a while. it is winter. the water is outside. in the yard. I was like. ok.............. it's outside. it's raining. this..... isn't a problem?
this was an offensive answer
#this woman has had all month to do SO MUCH STUFF#I mean this in the idk most nonjudgemental way possible but she literally has NOTHING to do all day. she does not have a job she works#outside the home. or even in the home#she is still able bodied and capable in regards to every day tasks like. sweeping. cooking basic meals. laundry. the essentials.#she REFUSES to do these things cause in the past if she didn't do them#I would cause I was living there and I hated living in mess#she does not dust her house AT ALL anymore. she has not dusted ONCE in the almost 10 years she's been back in the house#the 'flooding' incident of last week was minor and fixed the VERY NEXT DAY#she is still like omg I still have towels to wash from that and I'm getting everything back together#like.... she had to move a small rolling cart that slides between the sink and the washer#back into the laundry room. and do like idk 2-3 loads of towels tops.#she had 4 whole days to do all of this by now. none of it is done#'I have all these christmas presents to wrap' like.....#the last decade or so she has asked me for lists of stuff to get everyone#then *I* wrap all the gifts she buys for everyone else#she does NOTHING. she wants everyone to do everything for her#and then she wants to complain about her family being 'controlling' and not 'respecting' her#like bro everyone in this family has jumped through HOOPS to make sure she has had a place to live#working heat and AC food like I am not joking our family has gone to LENGTHS to ensure all this#and then she wants ppl to clean her house for her and wrap her presents and she's like#NONE OF YOU CARE ABOUT ME#she is the most selfish person I've ever met. in my whole life. and I know my dad.#I don't know HOW she ended up like this. her parents were even like WTF man?#I'm venting I had to vent I'm sorry#delete later
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okay i'm out of evil mode. peace love and a little bit of still-tired on planet earth lol 🧃
#just me hi#slept ! ! ! was it good? hell nah kfshvg#but i slept :D#wasn't allowed to go to bed for a couple hours cuz parents wanted to play a movie. it was good but it put me in a weird headspace lmsfh#//ooou my ear's doing the Thing#you know the thing. the thing it does. loll#ever since that ant was in there that one time (dear lird) when i wake up from laying on it it'll feel like. a bit inflamed on the inside ?#and kinda itchy. not good things but it's likely not going to kill me so 💥💥#'it's likely not going to kill me' <- things i likely said while pretending i couldn't see anything for like 3-4 years#oh but yea i'm going to assume it's nothing bc i was also getting phantom feelings and sounds for some weeks that caused panic so i'm not#even going to put weight on it. it's just itchy no biggy Kfshvhf :)#//anyway i think i also had a dream but i do Not remember those well At All lol#i know the last one had oath in it though so that one was cool. don't remember much else but that was sick Lmfsh :3#//Ohh it's rainingggg yippeeee :D <3#don't get much snow but we'll get tons of rain... i miss you michigannnnn <//3#//but anyway the dream thing just reminded me#so this detail may not be important but my oldest brother and i are joked to be twins. there's 2 years and at least a foot of height betwee#us (i am the short). people get our voices mixed up when we talk low and i think that's funny#we were also thick as thieves as kids. not a good thing for anybody else but Yeagh kfshvg#but there was this one time we'd both woken up and were talking abt both having had a dream the night before; giving details and such#and we had the same dream ? it's still kinda odd to this day but we had the Same Exact Dream on the same night. if not odd it's neat! :3#anyway so somewhere in the past year my brother (apollo) got a lunar on his right index finger#i kept forgetting tho and asking if it was a blood bruise (that is my bad boss ✋) and eventually the info stuck in my head#anyway so somewhere in the past two months i also got a lunar on my right index finger. i didn't even notice it until i was tryna wash my#hands and it wouldn't come off lmaoo#now that's going on ig. the timeline-clone theory grows stronger every day Kfhsvhfgsfg#//forgot what else i was going to say i went to go look into the phrase 'thick as thieves' lol#i don't understand how someone heard 'thick' and thought 'yeah. that means close now' kfshd#anyway it's old as you've prolly guessed. the earliest spot it's popped up was a newspaper that printed a letter that was written in 1827#but it mighta been used earlier than that. neat!
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oh fellas it's essay writing time you know what that means
#it means its time to do anything but write the essays and spam the tumblr feeds of the poor souls who decided to click the follow button for#some bizarre reason#i have. about 4 essays due and like. 5 research articles to read and 1 book? and 1 creative project#luckily only 3 essays and 3 research articles are due imminently and all the essays are under 1000 words and the articles are all under 20#pages. so. it could be worse? but it could be better? the last month of uni is fucking awful! and oh my fucking god i might be#graduating next year? thats terrifying. and its? covid lockdown anniversary and THATS weird because that one day changed the entire#trajectory of my life and everything that ive done the past 3 years has been a result of that day and thats really trippy#i ALMOST had a second breakdown in front of my prof but i didnt! so. we are. definitely mentally healthy /hj
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there is really something cruel and strange and fucked up about switching between thinking youre the center of the universe and thinking youre completely invisible 50 fuckin times a day. like do you have a god complex or an inferiority complex make up your mind
#the mental illness strikes again#yeah its that and like this crippling lonliness that has had me in a chokehold#pov you open the same 3 apps over and over again on repeat all day trying to see if anyone has messaged you or interacted with you at all#then you realize oh wait yeah. they all have lives and you dont. yeah that explains it#then you self loathe and pity for a bit and repeat the cycle#mad pathetic#and on top of that youre too fuckin sensitive so you take it all personal#even stupid jokes. yeah that stupid joke it hurt my feelings and for no reason at all#im not even really sad right now its just. so painfully frustrating that this has to be the normal for me#no matter how many times i seek help for it i get blown off#not to mention im *still* fucked up over not being able to go to the one person i relied on to help me when i was mentally unwell#though ive tried#but bringing up being mentally unwell gets me a sad face emoticon at best#and bringing up being physically unwell and that ive had to go to multiple doctors over the past few months is just. completely ignored#oh well#i am completely over that person but that doesnt mean getting ignored doesnt fucking hurt#anyways
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randomly looked at this account to update my age and holy shit it's been a while since i posted here..........i have a small pile of art i have yet to post but hbhbshdbshbd too lazy
#part of it is that i haven't posted any of my recent art but in addition#i haven't made new art in a WHILE (abt 3 months) which is highly unusual for me but the reason for that is#3 months ago i suddenly remembered that i tried learning mandarin for three (3) days before forgetting about it for 9 months#(amusingly the reason why is not because of danmei......i did not even know danmei existed when i first decided to learn it)#anyways i have been insanely fixated on learning it for the past 3 months#however since art is primarily a way for me to process my interests and that only really be done when i'm fixated on media........well#let's just say i have not been making art at all#that might change soon tho#rn i'm reading 撒野 (saye) in chinese bc it's at a level i can read and i fucking love it so far#idk why i picked a book longer than svsss (which took me a week to read in english)...u would think there's no chance of me finishing it#or even reading it#especially when the only novel i've read before this is a chinese translation of the fucking magic finger by roald dahl LMFAO#but it's been a week and i'm a fifth of the way into it which i was not expecting at all#it was initially an exercise of “i will get as far as i can and try my best to read a chapter a day” but i've been zipping through chapters#last night i was up until 3 AM reading it and i was so tempted to read more but had to stop myself#of course this is all aided by pleco which lets me quickly look up words that i don't know yet. pleco ily#that being said...this all does mean i know words like 收銀台 before i even know the word for “orange” (the color) which is pretty funny#but idk considering that the sum of my time spent learning chinese is just 3 months..........i think i am doing pretty damn good#i thought it would be a LOT longer before i could finally start enjoying some interesting things#god but it really has been a while since i last read a high school romance...but i am quite fond of the leads and their respective baggage#sorry for the whole tag ramble.........i haven't really had anyone to talk abt this stuff with#oh also it's my birthday#that is why i am even here to update my age in the first place#happy lan wangji birthday#actually the only reason i realized it was gonna be my birthday soon is because i saw chinese artists posting lan wangji birthday fanart#and then remembered that we share the same birthday#also re: the art i haven't posted yet.........a good chunk of it is misvil fanart...song qingshi my beloved#and there's also a luo binghe drawn on an art app i PROGRAMMED MYSELF (!!!!!!!!!) in there#actually that piece is the main reason i haven't posted the art i HAVE made. how the fuck do i explain that i drew it on an app that i made#sorry this is genuinely the most off the rails tag ramble i've ever done. okay i'm done
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curled up by the fire, tail waggin
#long day puppies in my phone long day#so so tired i dont have class tmr cos lecture not there so i get to sleep in yay but i wake up early anyways woah just dont Have to be up#going to try meet a friend because i feel like i havent seen anyon outside of college in months even tho its been 2 weeks#this old friend if mine kinda lowkey ditched me when he got a bucnh of new friends like 2 yesrs ago and hes been reaching out a lot to try#hangout and like hm im hurt abiut how he dropped me and he like genrally wasnt a great friend anyways:/ but i feel bad being kike i cant#hang but i also amnt even lyin genuinely cant hang i havent seen my best friend in so long i only see college and my home and therapist once#but also like ugh i dont like this guy i need him to not be beggin me to hang he could be reslly mean like too often but he was nice ..ugh#i wish there was a chill bot harsh way to cut domeone out like i dont hate u i just dont love u soz#and i love my friends so so deeply like i only have time for my besties who i would est whole if i could pike the way people talk about#their blorbo from my shows is how i feel talking about my friends like i want to squish them and poke em n kiss em their my little loves#so if i dont even like someone idk like i dont have time for people j dont love or who dont give a shit about me#hashtag being autistic and my 3 close friends are all also auttistic genuinly the 3 of them got diagnosed in the past 4 yesrs..dominos#i miss my friends wailing college too busy i miss my babies#n i feel really bad for not wanting to hang with this guy who litersllybdidnt care if i lived or died like a year ago#but now is all about me strangely#anyways hm will possible rant more ive had such a long day and nowmim currles on pillows in a bjg hoodie and its so good
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There's this nearly 4 hour movie I've been meaning to watch for a while and I was like "ah maybe ill watch it tonight hehe 🥰" and then I remember...quali is at 9 🫠
#i actually despise abu dhabi being the seaosn closer ngl#basically since Japan the race time has suited my timezone pretty well#1 am. 1 pm. 3 pm. 4 pm. 12 pm. 1 am.#<- like look at that. look at they absolutely delicious schedule#every race for the past 2 months has been at an ideal time and ive really settled into it#wow you mean i can sleep in on weekends and actually wnjoy the schedule!? oh boy!#and then they put fucking ad at the end which is at 8 am. who wants to wake up that early on a sunday#it would be fine if it was earlier in the season bcs during the middle i got pretty used to waking up before 9 bcs all the European races#but to have this one at thw end is literally horrible#its really down to timezones but fuck it really does bother me#bcs wow youve made me have zero desire to watch the season closer! thanks!!#id sooooo much rather brazil be the season closer still#like whh do you have to completely switch timezones right at the very end. its terrible#i think ill do waht i did last season and take a bit of a nap beforehand#it makes it much worse that this on a holiday wknd too. yeah bcs i rly wanna spend the last two days of my break waking up in the morning#sry im being ultra salty rn but i really dont wanna wake up for it but i hate missing race events UGHHHHHH#last yr i literally fell asleep during the first lap of AD 😭#yeah im concerned abt if nando will retain p4 or not but...waking up before 8 am...??#yeah idk i just rly dislike this scheduling#i actually kinda like AD as a track but its position in the season makes me resent it#catie.rambling.txt
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📝 💐 🛼 💔⏪️💭🧊🌄❤️🩹
I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist
#stranger things#bizarre love triangle playlist#el hopper#el's pov#i was so happy when i re-listened to this alongside the lyrics when looking for songs from el's pov#'at first i was afraid. i was petrified. kept thinking i could never live without you by my side'#all season long we saw el experiencing heartache over mike and how it led to her feeling insecure as if it was all her fault#she was convinced that if mike didn't love her then she couldn't be happy#'but then i spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong and i grew strong and i learned how to get along'#el spending time away from mike at nina along with all the months of doubt prior to their fallout now having validation...#it wasn't just her loving and falling out of love with mike over the course 3 days#it was her realization that their relationship has been deteriorating for a while now and coming to terms with that in 3 days#'and so you're back from outer-space. i just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face'#this is the main line that reminds me of her brushing past mike and will in the cabin#probably a little more harsh as this song is pretty harsh in terms of the singer not being capable of seeing her ex as even a friend now#but el's earned some harshness after what just went down#that doesn't mean they'll never overcome this#it just means there is still a serious need to confront it which wont be super pretty#and then the forgiveness and acceptance can only come after that#'and you see me. somebody new. i'm not the chained up little person still in love with you'#oooooo get him!#'you think i'd crumble? you think i'd lay down and die?'#sort of reminds me of the assumptions not just mike has but also most of the audience#they think it would be impossible for mike to end things with el bc she would be so broken hearted and she doesn't deserve that#which of course she doesn't#but maybe el knows what she deserves... and it's more than what mike is able to give#'i've got all my life to live and i've got all my love to give and i'll survive. i will survive.'#she's not going to go on forever being hung up on something that wasn't what she deserved in the first place#she will survive ya'll#4x09
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