#and buddy cop situations are so funny

[thirium-drinker]

I really should draw Markus and Kara more but the dbh coppaganda really got to me

[treasureplcnet]

assorted bodies doodles (transcript of that messy relationship square under the cut due to my handwriting/incoherency)

TAKE THESE W A GRAIN OF SALT i am like 90% joking:

hillinghead -> hasan, and vice versa: immediate mutual respect

hillinghead -> whiteman: he's incredibly smart, deceptively cunning but very kind. but he is also so annoying oh my god--

hillinghead -> maplewood: "please someone explain science fiction to me"

whiteman -> iris, and vice versa: two friends secretly think of the other as the sidekick

whiteman -> hillinghead: annoying him is quickly becoming a favorite pasttime

whiteman -> hasan: will not admit it but he wants parenting tips from her

hasan -> whiteman: has slipped a parenting book to him

hasan -> maplewood: deja vu about their future weirds her out a little, but she trusts her

iris -> hillinghead: fond of him from the time they spoke in the prison. enjoys fucking with him

iris -> hasan: SHE'S THE GOAT

[sleepy-aletheas]

Penacony Quest 2.2 messy thoughts

I played it all in one go through a migraine, so now it feels like my brain will leak out of my ears. But, some random thoughts I had during playing was:

I fucking knew Sunday was tied to Ena. He wasn't just visually matching to THEM, but also I just kept remembering the whole thing of civilizations rising and falling if they heard THEIR voice, and honestly, the more idealistic and dreamy (heh) the place is, the more one can be sure that it will fall apart. Especially if the place is supposed to follow Harmony.

And since I'm thinking about Sunday already, I knew he was somehow tied with the Stellaron, solely for that deep blue he has in his pupils and on his clothes. It gave me big Cocolia vibes the first time I met him, and I just knew. I feel so good about it.

On that note, Penacony has quite a bit in common with Belobog in general. There is the Overworld/Dreamscape in contrast of the Underworld/Land of Exile, and their differences. One is the face of the planet, where people live normal lives, where they can indulge and live as freely as the space and rules allow. And then we got the separated underbelly of the planet, where it's dim, dreary, wet. It's hard to go there, it's isolated from the outside, and there is something slowly growing to swallow the space whole (be it the fragmentum or memoria). These similarities definitely made it more enjoyable for me, both in a "oh I know how this goes" and in a "where is the catch?" type of way my brain often goes, and it just made it so much more fun.

Also, knowing that Aventurine left secret letters that Robin found and then followed to uncover the truth of Penacony makes my brain reel. When and where did he put those? What did he already know? How? I need to pick his brain apart, please Hoyo.

Also, Aven being rescued by Argenti who called him "dashing" and likening him to a peacock made me kick my feet. More characters should praise Aven, just saying. But him apparently being in a woeful state made me question where he came through and what happened between his last goodbye to Kakavasha and him being out of the dream.

Also, Aven saying the word "friend" when we talk to him for a moment in a kind, non-sarcastic or double-meaning way made me so excited.

Also, I need more babysitter Dan Heng and I-wanna-swear-but-can't Boothill to cause shenanigans a bit more. Add the Trailblazer and we got a riot (maybe even a literal one, poor Dan Heng, he can take it). I just really liked their personalities bouncing off each other, it was nice that Dan Heng was more outspoken and his voice was warmer than when he was on the Luofu. It's a more subtle character development that might mean nothing, but I still think it's neat.

The boss fight was pretty good. I miraculously didn't die once, neither did any of my characters go down (Asta clung to her 60 hp with sheer will alone). Thanks Aven, I knew I can depend on you.

Also the chicken wing siblings are just great characters in general. Robin is so soft and delicate and absolutely resolute to stand by her principles, it was delightful to have her on screen. Her determination is just great, I wanted to stay with her some more. And Sunday made me so frustrated with his monologues and philosophy, I absolutely love him. Seeing the differences between my own principles and his, getting to know why he thinks this made it so satisfying. I need more characters like that.Tho, I still wanna take him by his wings and slam him face first into a wall, but in a affectionate way (questionable, but okay). And their dynamic was also really fucking cool, cause they love each other, but they won't sacrifice their own ideals, and even go against the other. Not out of pride or hate, but simply because they are two different people that have their own opinions.

The whole quest was delightful, but it's hard to focus my thoughts into something coherent and I will have to make my migraine go away to actually process what I played through.

[mothmothwoth]

so with the Wilbur situation happening and more people talking about Shubble I thought it’d be a good time to recommend and talk about Shubble stuff that I’ve loved and have lived rent free in my head for years. (All of which are older stuff, Shubble was my jam like 6 years ago)

Agents - This is a series that started out as the typical comedy bit where Shelby and their friend Max (Mithzan) pretend to be Secret agents on a mission. They play old Minecraft mini games and challenges and are just a really funny duo together and they play off really well. However they start to incorporate lore and returning characters into the videos which create an overarching story to the Agents series. The original series that came out in 2016 (ish?) Ends with the end of the world and many mysteries unexplained. However there is a prequel series Shubble made after the Original Agents which explore Agent Shed and Zeds backstory, how they met, and gives Shelby’s love interest (Death (or well actually its deaths son?? In the prequel he hasn’t taken over for his father yet) also yes Shelbys character has a crush thing on death) a personality and character as well. I loved this thing, honestly I still do love this series it’s silly and the mystery made me lose it as a kid. It honestly is still my jam I will most likely rewatch this one soon.

Mystery Hotel - This is a roleplay mystery series Shubble did that has less of the comedy and buddy cop duo of Agents but more story and an almost haunting vibe. It has Shelby as a person walking into a hotel hoping to get a room to crash for the night and being trapped in the hotel and the other guests rooms. The guests are all her friends and they play games and challenges and when they succeed the guests are free from their rooms. This one is more actually one off than agents but it has a really nice vibe and the people all seem to be having a good time doing this. There is also a heavy sprinkle of lore between the fun so it leaves you with questions and wanting to find out more. I honestly do not remember the ending because I watched it when it came out and it was a long time ago.

Shelby almost dies in a stairwell - This story time video has been in my head for 7 years. I NEED to tell someone about this. Shelby got trapped in the stairwell and this is her video about that. This video turned me off of conventions forever and gave me permanent paranoia of being stuck in a stairwell. I think I watched this video like 18 times when I first saw it and I cannot tell you why. AND THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN. I cannot explain why these videos are so special to me they just are. Someone please tell me you share the experience of watching these I’m going to lose my mind.

but anyways Go watch Shubble they are silly, go watch her new content. Just. go bananas. Support Shubble (thumbs up)

[innuendostudios]

new video about Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy, and how everyone* keeps getting them wrong! this video is sponsored by Nebula, a place where you can watch the original version of this video before I had to tweak it for YouTube's copyright bots. (by clicking that link, you can get an annual subscription for 40% off.) or you can just back me on Patreon, which is also cool and good.

transcript below the cut.

I adore Edgar Wright’s Cornetto Trilogy. I flirted with making a video about it ages ago, had a draft of a script, but ultimately decided it wasn’t about anything except “here’s a thing I like, and here are its (I thought) very obvious themes.” So I shelved it. But, in the years since, I have seen multiple video essayists on this here website claim that these movies are about growing up and taking responsibility. (I say “multiple.” It’s not a lot. But it’s more than one! And that’s enough.)

These people are 100% wrong.

Lemme lay it out: the Cornetto Trilogy is not about growing up. It is not about taking responsibility. It is the exact opposite, and that’s not subtext. It is three movies about stunted manchildren thrust into extraordinary circumstances, and each, in the end, is saved - is redeemed - by abandoning his character arc and failing to grow or change. It is a three-part love letter to immaturity.

And I guess I have to set the record straight.

Sometimes making a video about a thing you love is an act of appreciation. And sometimes it’s out of spite.

The Cornetto Trilogy is three movies: Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World’s End. All three are written by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright; Pegg stars, and Wright directs; all three center on a relationship between Pegg and real-life best friend Nick Frost, which makes each film a reunion of the core team behind Spaced (excepting, but for a small role in Shaun of the Dead, Jessica Hynes). The three films span three genres: zombie apocalypse, buddy cop, alien invasion; each features a Cornetto ice cream cone: strawberry to represent blood, original blue to represent the police, and mint to represent little green men; this is a joking nod to Krzysztof Kieślowski’s Trois Couleur films, Bleu, Blanc, and Rouge, which were based on the colors and themes of the French flag (I don’t care what you say, Emily: #TeamRouge); that nod is funny because Trois Couleur is high-art drama and these are comedies. All three are parodies of, tributes to, and actually surprisingly good executions of their respective genres. And the hook, the gag at the center of all these movies, is that Simon Pegg plays a character wholly unsuited to be starring in this kind of film.

Shaun, the burnout, is the wrong person to survive the zombie apocalypse; by-the-book British bobby Nicholas is the wrong person to lead an American-style bombastic actioner; and alcoholic asshole Gary is the last person to save the world from aliens.

And I think that’s where people get stuck. Because “schlub finds himself protagonist of a genre film” is the elevator pitch for like a dozen Adam Sandler movies. The genre trappings may be as mundane as parenthood or mandated anger management classes, or as high-concept as action movie, whodunnit, or time travel It’s a Wonderful Life if Clarence were Christopher Walken as the angel of death (that… that makes it sound good, it’s not, don’t see Click; leave Frank Capra alone, Adam). But all these movies have the same basic shape: an extraordinary situation forces a guy to confront his shortcomings, which always stem from having never grown up. And you probably haven’t seen all of these movies, but if you’ve seen any, I bet you have assumptions about how the rest end: even though “Adam Sandler acts like a child” is generally the selling point of an Adam Sandler movie, they all end with some lip service toward becoming an adult: hey man, grow up a bit; appreciate your family a little more; square your shoulders; clean your room. This is so standard, it was parodied mercilessly in Funny People.

And this was a formative microgenre for my generation! Whole universe turns itself upside down to teach some shitty dude to, like, do the dishes and pay his wife a compliment now and then - Liar Liar, Bruce and Evan Almighty (all directed by the same guy, by the way). So I don’t blame people of a certain age for seeing the first act of Shaun of the Dead and thinking “I know where this is going.” And when, at the last minute, it swerves and goes someplace else, you could read that as a gag, a final subversion of expectation, still the same basic shape. But no! No! Once is a gag - thrice??? Thrice is a thematic statement!

So lemme make my case. I’ma take you through these movies one by one - we’ll talk about the manchildren and the expectations set by the genre, and then we’ll talk about that last-minute swerve and what it means. And then you’ll tell me I’m right and apologize!

Shaun of the Dead:

Shaun is a man in his twenties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the slacker.

What is his problem? He needs to sort his life out. Shaun doesn’t know how to take action. He hasn’t advanced since college - he’s been working the kind of job a teen takes over the summer for like a decade, lives with the same best friend, has the same petty fights with his stepdad, goes to the same pub every week with the same group of people. He can’t make a reservation, he can’t manage a calendar, he’s a washup. This makes his girlfriend, Liz, feel stifled, trapped; he is a weight around her ankle, taking her on the same date week after week, keeping her from living her own dreams, having her own adventures. She gives him one last chance to prove he can sort his life out, and he blows it, and she dumps him.

And then: a zombie movie happens.

The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: to survive, and save his loved ones, he’ll have to take action, make plans, be decisive. This is a common fantasy: when you feel ground down by the mundanity of life, you might imagine, oh, if only a crisis would happen, like a zombie virus outbreak, where my normal-life problems like “am I gonna make rent,” “is my girl gonna take me back,” “is my roommate gonna kick out my stoner buddy who’s crashing on the couch” become meaningless, and it’s immediately clear what’s really important, what matters. Then I’d know exactly what to do. It’s why disaster movies work as escapism: a necromantic plague - or at least the fantasy of one - is sometime preferable to normal life.

Hot Fuzz:

Nicholas is a man in his thirties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the hall monitor.

What is his problem? He can’t switch off. He is a hypercompetant police officer with a rulebook where his brain should be. He’s so good at being a cop that he’s spotting and unraveling crimes even on his day off. He can’t maintain a relationship, has no friends, all his coworkers hate him because he keeps finishing their work for them, and his stats show up the rest of the force so badly that they scuttle him out to the country.

Now you might be thinking, “Mmm. A fastidious police officer who can’t have fun? How is that a manchild? Sounds pretty grown-up to me. You’re reaching, bud.” Ohhhh ho ho, smartass, do you remember this scene? [bar scene] Yeah! Nicholas Angel has a five-year-old’s notion of law and order. He’s still playing cops and robbers.

And that’s a problem, because then: an action movie happens.

It doesn’t happen all at once: he goes out to the country and finds they do things a bit differently there. They are (ostensibly) less concerned with rules than what than the rules are for: if the purpose of drinking laws is to keep the streets safe and orderly, and letting some people off with a warning or allowing kids drink so long as they do it inside achieves that end, the rule can be bent. That’s a judgment grown-ups can make; I mean, they’re the ones who wrote the rules in the first place. So be lenient with shoplifters, don’t hassle people for speeding; this isn’t the Big City, you can use your better judgment. But Nicholas never got past doing whatever Mom & Dad said; obedience, and trusting whoever’s up the chain, is his entire moral framework. He can’t accept that bending the law could be more righteous than following it.

But also maybe there’s a criminal conspiracy murdering people and writing it off as accidents and the police chief might be in on it. Or maybe Nicholas is so desperate for a big case with no moral ambiguity that he’s seeing things where they aren’t. 

The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: either there’s nothing going on and he needs to chill out about procedure, or the department is corrupt and he’ll have to go rogue like it’s Point Break - and this is how he experiences Point Break. [“paperwork”]

No matter what, he’ll have to bend the rules, which he constitutionally cannot do.

The World’s End:

Gary is a man in his forties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the delinquent.

What’s his problem? Pfffft. What isn’t his problem? Gary is a manipulative, narcissistic, lying, self-destructive, ignorant, violent, thieving, shit-talking, unapologetic asshole who peaked in high school when being all those things was still kind of badass. The greatest night of his life was the drunken pub crawl after graduation he and his friends didn’t even finish, and he’s been tumbling downhill ever since. He’s spent his life ruining everyone who knows him until there’s no one left to ruin but Gary King. So now it’s time to bully the old gang into going back home with him to relive that night by finishing the pub crawl, because, in his own words, it’s all he’s got. And he and his friends have to confront how home has changed since they left - the bars have gentrified, not everyone recognizes them; the defining, epic deeds of Gary’s youth have been forgotten. You can’t actually go back because that place doesn’t exist anymore.

And then: a sci-fi movie happens.

Turns out the town’s been taken over by aliens, and all the people who couldn’t conform to their new order have been replaced with robots! That’s why no one recognizes them! And that’s why the pubs all look the same: the aliens are homogenizing everything! And it’s clear, if they can’t get Gary and his friends to play ball, they’ll roboticize them as well! The obvious move is to get the hell out of town, but Gary keeps inventing excuses to stay and finish the pub crawl, and they sound pretty sensible because the group’s already five pints in. The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: sooner or later he’s gonna have to give up on recapturing his youth and do what’s best for him and his friends now, even if it means running back to the city where all his problems live.

So there we have it: the characters cross the threshold into an unfamiliar world where an external conflict cannot be addressed without resolving the tension within. The slacker will have to get his shit sorted, the hall monitor will have to break the rules, and the delinquent will have to do what’s good for him. And, to an extent, all three know this! The movies Wright and Pegg pay homage to exist in these stories - Shaun knows what a zombie is, Danny keeps Nicholas up watching Point Break and Bad Boys II, and Gary and friends know bodysnatcher movies so well they have philosophical debates with the robots about whether “robot” is the PC term.

So, yeah, if you turned the movies off there, I could forgive you for thinking that’s where they’re headed. But you goofballs watched them to the end and then made content about them, what is wrong with you???

What actually happens in the second halves of these movies?

Shaun twigs that he’s in a zombie movie and, at first, tries to play the part - his survival plans are miniature hero’s journeys with him as protagonist, wherein he’ll save the day by neatly confronting all his flaws. He’ll resolve parental conflict by saving his mom from his zombified stepdad, resolve romantic conflict by showing his girl he can come through when it counts, and resolve internal conflict by being a man who saves the day. And all his plans suck! It’s just the same plan he always comes up with! Dragging around the same useless liability of a bestie, collecting the same group of people, and holing up in the same pub! He doesn’t save his mom: his stepdad apologizes, resolving their conflict for him, and then survives in zombie form but Shaun’s mom gets killed; most of the friend group gets killed because the crisis does not actually suspend but in fact amplifies their personal grievances; and he doesn’t save the day, just manages not to die long enough for the military to show up.

But… well, Liz wanted adventure and now she’s had enough for a lifetime, so… she’s down to just be boring with him for a while - sit on the couch, watch TV, hit the pub. Beats running for your life. Tensions with the roommate are gone cuz roommate died, but rent is covered cuz Liz moved in. Zombies don’t get eradicated, just folded into normal life, so Shaun can mindlessly play video games with his bestie forever, and it’s not a problem that bestie doesn’t have an income cuz he doesn’t need food or shelter.

The zombie apocalypse doesn’t make Shaun sort his life out, it changes the world til he doesn’t have to.

When Nicholas discovers that, yes, there is definitely a murderous criminal conspiracy inside the police department, he recognizes the only way to bring about justice is to become what Danny has always wanted and go Dirty Harry on the town. It’s either that or just swallow the crimes. But he does neither. He and Danny go on an epic shooting spree, recreating famous movie scenes, taking out the entire criminal organization against all odds, and spouting badass one-liners… but everyone who helps them is a cop, they don’t actually kill anyone, all perps are formally arrested, and they fill out all the paperwork. I think he even properly signs out the weapons. He never switches off, never breaks a rule, does absolutely everything by the book, only… louder. And this violent showdown saves him from the chill town with lax rules he thought he’d moved to. Now he, with his five-year-old notion of right and wrong, is in charge of the police department.

The buddy cop actioner doesn’t make Nicholas bend the rules, it changes the world til he doesn’t have to.

Gary knows exactly how a movie of this sort is supposed to go and spends the whole movie running from it. Friends and secondary characters keep sharing these poignant moments with him, because they know this story, too: yeah, he’s gonna reject help at first, but sooner or later he’ll hit rock bottom and then someone will get through to him. And, as the night goes on, and the characters get drunker and drunker, and Gary passes up more and more opportunities to abandon the pub crawl and go home, these moments take a tone of desperation. They start to sound more like interventions; like, Gary, we all know you’re going to come to your senses but could you hurry up with it??? How many of your friends need to literally die for you to shape up? Are you gonna get them all killed?

And the answer is: Gary will never shape up! To Gary the Human Dril Tweet, his friends trying to save him, psychiatrists trying to treat him, and aliens trying to assimilate him are all the same thing. He doggedly makes it to the end of the pub crawl and confronts the alien overlord who tells him all the technological advancements of the past few decades - all the efficiency and homogenization that’ve changed the face of his home town - are their doing. The Information Age is an intervention on behalf of Earth, a pan-galactic effort to save humanity from itself. And the reason they’ve been replacing people with robots is some people are too fucked up to go along with it.

And here’s Gary, King of the Fuckups, brashly declaring that fucking up is what makes us human. There is no freedom without the freedom to ruin your life. We are endowed by our creator with the right to be drunken, ornery pieces of shit.

He tells the aliens to piss off and he’s so fucking annoying that they do, and they take the Information Age with them.

Now… I know… ugh… I know a lot of people love this movie, say it’s the best of the three. Some friends who’ve struggled with mental health or just being an adult under late capitalism really identify with Gary, and the valorization of being a mess. I see you, you’re not wrong, I get it, I really do. But can we just… not “but” but “also” can we… can we also admit that this ending is… this is Space Brexit.

Like, literally it’s an alien invasion but symbolically this is Gary rejecting the adult world of rules and authority and doing what’s best for the community and that’s how Brexiters view the EU. And people keep telling him “Gary, this is in your best interest” and Gary says, I don’t want my best interest! I am registered in the anti-Gary’s Face Party and I will cast my vote by cutting my nose! I choose to do what’s bad for me.

And, like a true Brexiter, he chooses for everybody.

Now tell me that’s a movie about growing up. Gary collapses human civilization in its entirety rather than change, and in the world that follows, he thrives… by being an immature, irresponsible bag of garbage.

To Wright and Pegg, growing up is death, and these are movies about being alive. These characters don’t cross the threshold back into the ordinary world with the ultimate boon of character growth; all three stay in the extraordinary world. The zombies remain, the robots remain, Nicholas is offered his London job back and chooses to stay in the country. These are stories about normal life spontaneously turning into a genre film, and they are made with deep love for those genres; why would they end with leaving those genres behind? Because it’s what Adam Sandler would do?

So there you have it. I rest my case.

“Okay Ian. Why does this matter?”

…what was that?

“You’ve made your point: these movies aren’t about growing up or taking responsibility. So what?”

Uhhhh.

“Bring it home for us.”

…

“Why do you care so much?

[breath]

I wrote the first draft of this script when I was around Shaun and Nicholas’ age, and “so what?” is why I shelved it. Now I’m Gary’s age, this video’s been in the back of my brain the whole time, but I got this far and “so what” is where I got stuck, again. This is why the CO-VIDs came out quicker, cuz I let myself end with “so that’s interesting!” and got on with my life. But there’s clearly something sticky here, more than “someone is wrong on the internet.” (Also, to the YouTubers I’m vaguebooking, who said these were movies about growing up - I’m way more annoyed at the folks I’ve argued with on Twitter about this, you just made a better rhetorical device; you do not owe me an apology!) (Also, to the commentariat: I am not extrapolating this from like two data points, this is chronic and recurring and has been bothering me for years.)

There are a few directions I could take this to give it some “cultural weight.” I could put on my social justice hat and talk about how the “crisis of adulthood” doesn’t play as broad comedy unless you look like Adam Sandler or Simon Pegg, or put on my class analysis hat and talk about how signifiers of adulthood are, traditionally, ways of spending and accruing capital which are, today, often inaccessible to people under 40.

And that’s all legit, but here’s the real deal: I’m just mad at Gary. The world changed around Shaun such that he could stay a child. And Nicholas ended up somewhere he could stay a child. If you missed that, you’re wrong, but whatever. But to say that Gary grew up grinds me, because Gary chose this. The whole movie is people telling him to grow up, and he says no! He says it out loud! He says it to the literal end of the world. To walk out of the theater and say “that’s a movie about growing up” is more than a mistake, it’s a refusal. It’s trying to “fix” the movie by fitting it into a more familiar shape, so it doesn’t say what it says, so Gary isn’t who he is, who he chooses to be.

I’m being cheeky when I say this because he’s a fictional character, but saying Gary grew up is enabling.

Gary says there’s no freedom without the freedom to ruin your life, which is the problem with alcoholics and libertarians: it’s not just your life, Gary! You live in a community, a culture, and an ecosystem! Your actions - everybody’s actions - impact other people! That’s just the way the world is! You can’t shit yourself at the bar without other people having to smell it. We’re all fuckin’ connected, man! You don’t want anyone’s will imposed on you; you spend the whole movie imposing your will on everyone else! You say humans don’t wanna be told what to do, and then you decide humanity’s future by yourself with no input or consent from anyone!

People point to Gary ordering water in the last scene instead of beer as evidence that he got sober, like that’s proof that he did grow up in the end, which are you fucking joking??? Getting sober is a shorthand for maturity the way buying a house is, it doesn’t signify anything in and of itself! Gary drank to escape the adult world of rules and responsibilities! So, yeah, under normal circumstances getting sober would mean he’s made peace with that world and is ready to integrate. But that’s not what happened! The thing he was escaping doesn’t exist anymore! He literally destroyed it!! People died! Probably millions! Now he lives a happy life LARPing as Omega Doom - no I don’t expect you to catch that reference! He doesn’t need to drink! He is literally reliving the best day of his life forever. And even if it did mean personal growth, the idea that a person could make what would be, unequivocally, the most selfish decision in human history, and then spend his life celebrating the outcome, oh but if he overcame a personal demon in the process then on balance that’s maturity? That is lightspeed solipsism! Who are you if you think that way? Are you all Adam Sandler???

And none of that makes this a bad ending, or Gary a bad character. I mean, he is the reason The World’s End is my least favorite, and I don’t like the ending, but I don’t think it’s bad that I don’t like the ending. Rather than watch another addict pull his life together or destroy himself, we watch a downward spiral with so much gravity the whole world self-destructs alongside him. And that’s why The World’s End is the most interesting of the three: it is a bold choice, and I think we are free to feel however we want about the conclusion Gary engineered for himself. I don’t think it’s valid to pretend it didn’t happen.

In the context of the trilogy, we see that Shaun’s immaturity is mostly a problem for Shaun: he would be, at worst, a footnote in the lives of the people who love him; “yeah, I liked Shaun a lot, but I couldn’t carry him through life anymore.” Nicholas is the kind of overachiever that is useful if pointed in the right direction; juvenile code of ethics aside, he is, empirically, helping the community (within the entirely fictional framework where that’s a thing police do). If the world hadn’t changed to turn their flaws into strengths, they would still be relatively harmless. Gary is what happens when immaturity isn’t harmless, and shows us how a world built by that immaturity would look.

There is an appeal to Gary King, a wish fulfillment. Letting your id fully off the leash because you no longer care what anybody thinks - it’s why some people drink, and it’s why some people would like to drink with Gary. But if that’s not just your Friday night, not just your twenties, but that’s your life? There is a destination at the end of that road, and it’s Gary doing something truly ugly. And we see that ugly thing the way Gary sees it: as awesome. But then you see the reality: the Monday morning after the Friday night. We went out with Gary and he did something terrible.

And I’m not telling you to hate Gary for it; I’m not saying Gary can’t be forgiven. In fact, seeing it for what it is is the only way Gary could be forgiven, because, if he “grew up and took responsibility,” there’s nothing to forgive.

I think this is the only way the trilogy could have ended. I mean, you make stories about boys who get older and older and don’t grow up, it eventually becomes a problem. There’s only two ways to resolve it: you either end with a guy actually sorting his shit out, or you go for broke and show what happens if he doesn’t. And I think some of us boys saw that and said, “no, noooo, they did grow up! all three of them!” rather than say, “haha! hahaaa! ……………shit.”

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday all :) Just realized we are over halfway done with s4. Crazy ha Naturally after an intense Chenford ep we have the next one be little lighter. Sadly they are missing 90 percent of this episode so it'll be a shorter one. But there is good moments of growth and such. Let’s get going.

4x13 Fight or Flight

Lucy is attached to Nolan’s helicopter kid situation. Which robs us of any Chenford in this episode. Thanks a lot Nolan…I could tell that kid was suspect af in the elevator and I’m not even a cop. John asks for Lucy to ride with him so he can get into this kids mind. It is awesome she is sought after for her psychological experience. We all know Nolan isn’t going to be able to do that…

We get a little crumb at the beginning of the episode. Tim was clearly waiting for her. I love how he instantly supports her. Doesn’t question why she’s helping or upset she is doing that instead of them riding together. Only that if she needs anything he is there for her. Little moments make my heart happy. So I shall take them in lighter eps.

We do get some good Tim and Angela moments which I will always be happy to enjoy. Tim runs into her and she tells him she has an old ‘friend’ of his in for questioning. He was pulled over and had a diamond bracelet in his car. It’s tied him to a home invasion that left 3 people dead. I do love getting a look into Tim’s work past and former arrests. Which ones are hang ups for him and such. She asks him if he’d like in on the interrogation?

Tim of course jumps right on it. Once he’s in the box Dez is deny deny deny about the bracelet. Saying he got it for his mother and lost the receipt. Ok buddy... Noting he was working the night the home invasion occurred. That his boss would confirm that for him. Watching Tim take charge in the interrogation is *fans self* Not to mention the bicep and forearm shots in this. Killing me softly sir.

Besides him looking fine af just sitting there I always enjoy watching him take charge in any capacity. .i.e. this moment. Why I love Metro Tim so much. It's sexy the way he walks over and commands his attention. Tries to connect with this guy. Knowing they have a past trying to use it to their advantage. Also him using words like recidivism getting me all hot and bothered. Idk why it just is LOL Anyways lets get back on track....Tim tells Dez he knows he wouldn’t have killed anyone. But they need his help to catch the people who did harm that family. They just need a name. He gives them the name of his lawyer instead. Wah wah

Seeing Lucy with Nolan it’s hard to believe they were ever matched up. Boggles the mind really. Just in how they’re approaching this situation alone. Lucy gets an ID for this kid from dispatch. His name is Leo Thomas. He's just a teenager. Nolan mentioning well adjusted kid’s don’t steal police helicopters. Lucy going on to say could just be teenager attention-seeking behavior. Trying to standout and establish their identity.

How it’s gotten so much worse with social media. She isn't wrong. I can only imagine. Its way more than when I was a teenager. Not to date myself but I only had myspace and facebook for most part and I didn't even use FB till like 2008 honestly. Oh and instagram. I think lol My point is as a millennial we didn't have the amount of platforms that are around now. It's insane. I can't imagine trying to establish an identity on them.

So Lucy saying social media having an impact on behavior is accurate. I believe that. It’s funny how John asked for Lucy to tag along and to get in the kids head. Then when she does he fights her on it a little. *eye roll* Also why am I not surprised he was a boring teenager? LMAO This doesn’t shock Lucy either. Him questioning her being a rebel. With the parents she had growing up? I have no doubt she was. You don’t know her like that John and it shows…

Nolan tries to connect with Leo now that he knows his name. John doing a big swing and a miss with him right off the bat. Trying to connect over now his family is sick with worry. Goes over like a lead ballon. He gets back on track with him though. Asking about learning to fly through video games? How impressive that is. Nolan starts to get some traction with the video game bonding. Leo begins to open up saying usually in a game how the main character survives through allies.

He asks John if he’s an ally? Lucy nodding her head fervently. Unreal how he needed to turn to Lucy for that answer. Do love her directing this whole thing though. What a downgrade from Tim eh Lucy? heh. Leo tells them they need to go on some quests first. Then they can talk about him landing this helicopter. John is skeptical to say the least.

Its why Nolan keeps biffing it with this kid. Honestly it’s a wonder he got put on this kid at all. Good thing Lucy is there to steer the ship. I love love love her being the leader on this. Look at our bad ass. Questioning his decision making skills and backing it with rock solid logic. Also sound psychology. You know the whole reason he brought her in the first place......

Nolan may have a good connection with people but he doesn’t have the logic and emotional intelligence Lucy does. John is ready to throw in the towel but Lucy isn’t. She crushes it with some damn good logic. Explaining why he should give into this kid and what he wants. It’s like he completely forgotten why he was assigned this kid in the first place. To build rapport and get him down on the ground. Good thing Lucy is there or this would be going so much worse.

He sends them on their first quest. To what looks like drug den. Saying he lost a raven haired girl he used to like from there from an OD. He couldn't save her but they can at least take down the monsters who caused her death. We find shortly after that was a lie. Since he has been home schooled for the last year. Nolan tries to get him to come down after one quest. Of course he doesn’t. It’s like John hasn’t caught on to the game here lol They ask for their next quest and he asks if they like alligators? HA

We return to Tim back at the station. He’s called in Dez’s boss to verify his ‘alibi’. At first he’s corroborating it until Tim says he’s suspected of triple murder. Tim dismantling Dez's alibi within minutes of meeting this man. I love it so much. His boss immediately amends his statement and says he paid him off. To clock him in and let him go and he did the same thing for tonight as well. Tim reports this back to Angela ASAP. That they don’t have time to wait for his lawyer. They have something far more pressing. Another target to locate. If they don’t figure out where that is more bodies are going to drop.

Lucy and Nolan are on their second quest. This part cracks me up. Dude they’re arresting is defending his alligator. Saying Cupcake is a sweetheart. Lucy’s reply cracks me up ‘Cupcake ate my taser’ LMFAO. His attachment to this creature is intense to say the least. The good thing about this second quest is there is a pattern though. Both quests have involved big drug arrests. Nolan tries to press the kid for it and nada. He continues on to tell them they’re going to have their final quest soon enough.

Tim shows up at Dez’s house mid-search. He instantly goes into sexy Sergeant mode. Asking Webb what they’re found so far? It would appear nothing at the moment. So Tim takes over the scene. I love watching him in action. So confident and sure of himself. While teaching in the process. Yum Yum. Sexy teacher Tim is in the house.

Just takes control of this search and makes it more efficient. He's so good at his job. Also he is growing as a Sergeant. Took control without fully taking control and doing it himself. He delegated his team to re-work their search pattern. Look at him go. So proud of him. Growing as a leader makes my heart happy to see.

We circle back to helicopter kid. They are slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together. The guy they just arrested works with his mom’s BF. He's a known associate of his. It would appear they have a drug distribution chain going on. That one of the dealers they sell to was arrested and had to do with quest number one.

Lucy jumps in with her POV. This is why Nolan brought her along. Love watching her flex her psych brain. That muscle innate in her as she analyzes this situation. We finally find out why Leo took the helicopter. That quest #3 is to save his mother from her drug dealer BF. The problem is they don’t have any evidence linking this guy to what they’ve found today and he only has 40 minutes of fuel left…

We jump back to the house with Tim and his team. They still haven’t found anything linking Dez to the 2-11. Tim has an epiphany and calls in a bomb sniffing dog. Explaining that they look for ingredients for a bomb or gunpowder from an illegal firearm. That's what they need to implicate Dez. I will also take Tim Bradford talking to a dog all day long. Ovary explosion for me. *fans self* The way he roasts this dog for getting distracted by a squirrel LOL I’m dying I love this man so very much.

Thor eventually finds exactly what they’re looking for. Pawing at a spot Tim is able to crack open and find the evidence they need. Look at him listening to all past advice Grey gave. Not showing up to a scene early. When he does he delegates and doesn’t take over completely. While still teaching in the process of that delegating. He would be proud. Lucy too if she could see this.

Grey is able to get Murray to flip on Brian. Using cupcake Lmao it’s hilarious. Wants to make sure she’s taken care since she ate Lucy's taser. So he rolls on his partners including Brian. All for his alligator's well being it's too damn funny. Grey is delighted that’s all it took. Nolan and Lucy are able to complete quest number 3. They have him fly over his house so he can see them arresting Bryan. Telling him it is finally time to land that helicopter. He agrees and says he’s been air sick for hours ha They arrest him once he’s landed. Lucy looks so sad about it but they really don’t have a choice in the matter.

Tim returns to Angela with the evidence they needs against Dez. He flips once Tim has hard evidence against him. Gives them every job, every crew member and what they’re going to hit tonight. They catch up to the getaway driver fairly easily. It is fun to watch this bad ass duo work together. Question him easily about the men inside and what they’re walking into. Tells them three men are inside the house not including himself.

They find out 2 of the 3 are upstairs looting. While the third is hovering over the family with a gun. Angela doesn’t want to go in hot with this third guy. Worried he’ll hurt the family in retaliation. Tim tells her then they go in a different way. A way I very much approve of. Why you ask? We get Tim Bradford in a TIGHT white t-shirt. Pretending to be a delivery guy. Mmmm just look how taut that shirt is across his muscled chest.

Sweet baby James this man is fit. Could wash clothes on those washboard abs of his. Don’t get me started on the gun show that is his biceps. Popping out of those sleeves. We also get some nice forearm action as well in these shots. Nothing for me to analyze except his beautiful form in these gifs. Imma need some ice water. This man does things to me. *ahem* Let's get back to the story at hand...

Tim knocks on the door. Angela has the getaway drivers phone. So she texts the gun happy third guy it’s just food delivery. This gets him close to the door where they want him. Once he’s close enough they push through a flash bang grenade. Taking him out pretty quickly. Then we get to watch some poetry in motion.

Tim and Angela moving like badasses to secure the house. Just a couple besties taking down criminals like it’s nothing. These are some great shots of these two. I would like more Angela/Tim shots in s6. Just add that to my s6 wishlist haha Metro and the detectives working together be fun to watch. If I can’t have Chenford I’ll take Tim/Angela moments.

We started with a crumb and we get to end with a crumb. I love Tim being the one to initiate a drink after work. He’s grown so very much makes me wanna cry. We all know it’s because of his relationship with Lucy. Our hardened grumpy Tim while still grumpy has grown a lot. Look at him not only doing post work hang but making jokes. Saying it’s all on Nolan ha! Such a nice moment. Until Grey comes over and says Cupcake broke free from animal control LOL Angela's reply is the best 'Who's Cupcake?' So very confused haha

Not a lot of Chenford but good moments and growth none the less. Next episode will be a good one for them.

~~~

Side notes- non chenford

Well this entire episode was that haha I did enjoy Harper’s SL with Aaron and him trying to get that man justice. His reason why behind it and all as well. He develops very nicely as a character. I do love having him around a lot.

[mamawasatesttube]

@deadchannelradio said:

obsessed w "civ hostage" kon. obsessed.

THANK you for giving me the opportunity to talk abt this one bc it is, if i do say so myself, funny as hell. like, i talk a bit hurt/comfort character study etc game, but i am also just a guy who deeply, DEEPLY enjoys some good old fashioned shenanigans.

SO. to set the stage: we have conner kent, good ol sweet country boy conner kent, spending a weekend in the big city to visit his buddy tim. things are going well, for the most part, until tim and conner make the mistake of going to hang out at a nice café. why?

the cafe is SO nice that it is, in fact, right next to a bank!

they are in gotham city (uh oh!).

the bank gets robbed.

sirens start blaring, the gcpd are there, the robbers burst out of the front door frantic to get to their getaway car, and oh, hell, the gcpd is right there, they need some kind of leverage to not get their tires shot out from under them--

they need a hostage!

there's a cafe patio full of civilians right there!

this guy who's jumped to his feet as if to get between all the guns and his buddy? oh sure yeah he'll do cmon grab him get him in the car lets go lets GO MOVE IT MOVE IT

FLOOR IT LETS GO KEEP A GUN TO HIS HEAD MAKE SURE THE COPS SEE WE HAVE HIM LETS GO

[!] Congratulations! Your Conner Kent is now a Civilian Hostage™! In order to protect his secret identity, he may not use any of his powers to escape. Make sure he doesn't run his mouth too much, or else getting shot will reveal that he's bulletproof!

tim, left at the cafe: what the fuck. kon, sitting in the getaway car: what the fuck. the bank robbers, who have no idea what they've just brought upon themselves: phew! that was quick thinking!

what follows is a progression of increasingly more ludicrous conversations as kon desperately tries to control his inability to shut the fuck up. the bank robbers start to argue.

"boss, he's just a teenager!" one argues. "he isn't even from here--look how much he's talking about his grandma. i feel bad. we don't have to keep the guns on him at all times, do we?"

"if he doesn't shut up about his grandma, shoot him in the foot," boss grouches.

"oh, please, don't do that, sir," kon wheedles, valiantly resisting the urge to ttk the duct tape off his arms so he can gesture rudely at the big boss. he does his very best big, innocent doe eyes instead. "my grandpa bought me these boots, and he passed a couple years back!"

"oh, now look what you did!" a third guy exclaims. "he's gonna talk about BOTH grandparents now!"

kon looks back and forth between the bank robbers. two out of three are glaring; the first one, the sympathetic one, tries to smile at him.

kon looks at them all some more.

tim is somewhere up in the rafters of this random gotham wharf warehouse by now, he's sure. this will all be over soon. he doesn't have to keep resisting the giggles too much longer. right?

"could i convince you guys to let me go?" he blinks so sweetly. so innocently. "shucks, i can sweeten the deal! how's this?"

he flutters his eyelashes a little. smiles so innocently.

"i'll give you my grandma's apple pie recipe--"

this is the worst day of these bank robbers' lives.

tim, in the rafters: forget the robbers. I'M gonna strangle him.

anyway, red robin swoops in to rescue Sweet Innocent Country Boy Conner Kent. of course, he can't stay long, but he makes quick work of the hostage situation.

Sweet Innocent Country Boy Conner Kent is more than happy to give a quick statement to the press outside, of course. he looks directly into the camera and gushes about how amazing it was to have red robin himself rescue him! he's so suave and mysterious and cool, and his hair smells so nice--

tim, who is the only one who knows that kon is just very smugly patting himself on the back for finally convincing him to try his fancy shampoo and conditioner set: :|

trending on gotham twitter: Red Robin Smells Like Rosewater

tim is going to kill Sweet Innocent Country Boy Conner Kent. he's gonna do it.

"i'll fucking leave you there next time," he tells kon, who is scrolling through all the tweets with glee. "see if i come rescue you ever again. i'll let the assholes with guns keep you."

"sure you will, rob," kon agrees oh-so-sweetly. tim is going to throw things at him. kon is so smug. god dammit.

but hey, at least he makes tim some apple pie afterwards.

[tyto-ghost]

Hello world! Let me present to you one of my pitches for an animated series (college thesis) About a private investigator hunting anomalies, but in reverse! (sort of)

This takes place in your regular mundane Earth with wacky creatures inhabiting it, and of course, CIA agents taking care of them before causing any ruckus to the human world.

This series follows our main guy, Caesar Raymond Thompson, a living sentient TV static amalgam who decided to leave his "shell" to pursue his dream job, a cool detective guy like his favorite shows (that he uh..broadcasts himself??). However even if Caesar is incredibly naive to the current situation, his idea to solve the "anomaly kidnapping by the government" problem is to open a new secret radio channel about helping various clients with their troubles via interviewing anomalies in hopes that they can sort things out and not call the cops.

All of this while *trying* to keep a low profile so he doesn't get pulverized by the government either.

Caesar is, to put it shortly, an incredibly charming but insanely naive guy. He's cheery, he's very gullible, has no idea how to properly wear a jacket, you have to manually turn down his volume with a remote otherwise he won't stop shouting like a reporter, his only sense of reality comes from TV shows themselves. Caesar is the type of person that is constantly trying to appeal in order for others to like him with little consideration of himself.

As already stated, he is literally just TV static, but he's more than just a cutout of a conventionally looking detective man. He's kinda like a slime (not a blob, we are getting to those waaay more later on a future post). He can mold himself to any shape and change how solid or meltier his body can be. However he can't stay out of his TV shell without proper rest for more than 24hs otherwise he will start to fall apart.

You can also control parts of his body (mute him, change a channel, even temporarily kill him by turning him off!) if you ever get to hold his own remote (PLEASE be gentle with him).

But every silly personal investigator in his 30s needs a middle aged (radio) man to partake (and publicly broadcast) his wacky endeavors, of course

Rodrigo is your average man (erm personality wise), nothing too eccentric, likes to chill while playing old songs (he even has access to music most people consider lost media!), Not very tuned to the modern world. He has to constantly put Caesar back to reality any time he gets into antics, but is too kind to yell or be rude. Rodri is pretty much a very tired man, but he really appreciates his buddy-partner.

He's a bit strange to explain, most people consider him an animated object (him being the radio) but he's a little bit more complex, you see, Rodrigo is technically the voice of an announcer living inside a radio, a (somewhat) human conscience with no physical body that travels through a radio signal. The radio is nothing more than his "house".

Unlike Caesar who is simply static and has no channel of his own, Rodrigo "rests" on his own hidden radio channel, basically an empty space where he talks with no one far away listening, however he isn't unreachable, by performing a few silly tricks with your own radio trims and buttons (or calling a mysterious number) you might have access to his broadcast.

Rodrigo is mostly blind, he has no eyes after all, but, he can kinda"see" sometimes if the objects in the room are moving and making noise, otherwise he only sees static.

Well! that's it for now! More worldbuilding and info about these goofballs will eventually come out (aprox) next month! (this story is also bound to change due to it being a college project). Follow me to keep up with my funny guys, in the meantime...

[toastandjamie]

Me: I would love a post canon buddy cop story with Mat and Perrin- they’re so funny together and didn’t have enough page time together.

Brain: turn Mat into a wolf so they have to only communicate through wolf telepathy

Me: why would I do that

Brain: because it’s funny and would turn the entire event into a political situation

Me: …. Good point

[adventures-in-teyvat]

You know what would be funny duo. Cyno n Heizou. Because they are straight up, buddy cop duo.

Heizou is funny rule breaker, comedic relief. Cyno is by the book, serious thought guy.

Heizou would constantly die of cringe when Cyno makes his dry as sand jokes. Cyno would be so done with Hei’s constant flirting. If its a police modern au. There be like constant thought, are they friends or just hate each other.

Honestly it be funny to see their debate about law.

YOU GIVE THE MOST BASED TAKES IVE EVER SEEN thank you for your immaculate contributions to my blog i love you so much

what’s so incredible about this is that they are both silly guys, but they are silly guys of different flavor.

heizou is full of sarcasm, wit, subtle flirtations, teasing, etc; and then on the other side of the spectrum we have cyno, whose whole schtick is being so unfunny that it’s endearing. his humor is such a slap in the face that sometimes it actually ends up being funny. and it makes it even better that their styles of humor are the exact opposite of their styles of enforcing law.

heizou is pretty tolerant of most things—i think it takes a lot to get under his skin. and i feel like the one thing that gets under his skin the easiest is incompetence, or what he perceives as incompetence. since his humor is so witty, and he very much enjoys mind games, i feel like he’d find cyno’s slapstick style to be somewhat annoying, which is hilarious. he wouldn’t see it as incompetence, necessarily, because he knows the general is intelligent and perfectly capable, but the simple style of the humor and the way cyno delivers it puts “annoying” in the same category as incompetence.

usually heizou is the annoying one—in literally any situation, he is always the annoying one—but here, he’s put in the position of being so flabbergasted at cyno’s attempt at a joke that he is left grasping for something to say. but he cannot. cyno’s jokes invoke brainrot.

and the reason i think it could go this way but not vice versa is because cyno is quite literally unbothered. any attempt heizou makes at one-upping him or getting him to stop with the puns fails horribly, because cyno just really doesn’t care. there is not anyone more unbothered. he’s just doing his own thing. and i feel like that would end up getting to heizou in the end, because he’s so used to getting to others. he thinks so much and analyzes everything; his style of humor is creative and intricate; so in the end it’s terribly ironic that the one thing getting to him would be someone whose idea of humor is the most dry delivery of puns.

now on the other hand, with their styles of law enforcement, it would be the exact opposite.

heizou’s freeform attitude would bother cyno to the point of actual, visible emotion. which is rare for him! he just really, really likes structure, and rules are very important to him. the idea that someone else in his occupation would find it so easy—fun, even—to color outside the lines is completely beyond the general mahamatra.

cyno: there are rules for a reason.

heizou: but what if the law isnt always what’s right :3

cyno: then change the law.

heizou: but it’s not that easy :3

etc etc etc

hehehe they would be a very amusing pair of friends—i think that under their slight disdain for each others’ differences there would be a very clear foundation of respect <33

[siremasterlawrence]

The Handler’s Red Carpet Express Part 7 & 8

Casting for a new buddy cop Apple Plus TV show called Ghost Spy’s sitting in the major casting room at television studio want I am expecting is so much better Chris Pine and Chris Messina in the waiting the room.I flip on the camera setting up the room all is perfectly set up as I call Chris into the room for the time being as he enters my cock is coming to life springing forward under the desk.

Quite a unique looking face he has I must admit to myself but still fucking handsome and he is about to me be mine I state all to myself very hyper excited at his newest role in cinema.The lights flicker on lowly as he sits down the door slamming closed he slates for the camera then we begin to read lines as the circular light system around the camera turns on burning brightly it edges deep into his mind.

Everything comes to a slow stuttering crawl as he stumbles over his words his eyes grow heavy, his mind is in a deep sea of hazy fog and I watch him falling ever deeper into my power.He has no idea what is happening nor cane he even attempt to resist if he wanted to simply because I will him to be at my mercy for life and he is fully committed to serve me for life.

Pine has no more ideas left in the pretty boi face of his except to stare mindlessly with a stupefied look on his the spit trickling down his chin soon he is all that ever existed in his mind.I am the center of his life now as he builds so many monuments of me in his head one at a time he falls for me a expression of love over comes him and he soon is everything I ever want.

Getting up I push my chair back to rise to my feet as I stood up staring him down in a hot, heavy and lustful display of pleasure launched me over the table on to his lap and we make out. His hands rove throughout my body touching every part of his body in a scandalous wave of energy overcomes us both in a shill of power his lips touch my skin all hot and bothered.

“Mr. Messina please come in.” I say exiting the room as he smirks walking in.

“Please sit.” I instruct not even looking at him.

“Please focus on the camera.” I state

“May I start?”

“Yes commence”

“Oh wait! Must the lights be so strong”

“I can’t think”

“I am confused “

“Why am I here?”

“Hahaha”

“What’s so funny?”

“You are hilarious “

“Wait what?”

“Continue to take a gander “

“You will admit it”

“You own me”

“Mmmm”

“You love the sound of my voice “

“You are rock hard”

“Mmmmnnnn”

“Fuck…you own me”

Grant Gustin is up for a second pilot go a up and coming new show I have commissioned for Amazon where he would play a hot shot attorney having a torrid affair with a young male assistant attorney. The studio is awash in a bright gold lights of the entire room showcasing everything as he walks in with such power, confident and presence to control the situation he is so instantly struck.

The moment he saw it his world spun intoa fit of crazy babble in a world wind of air to his lungs he takes a deep breath inhalinga sweet intoxicating taste like he has never smelt before. His body is hot falling backwards onto his back his mind melts away at everything he has ever felt loosing himself in a pure unsafe feeling of love and desire for me and only me.

“Grant please slate”

“I am Grant Gustin”

“Good boi”

“Please read this “

“I am here to submit and obey “

“I submit “

“I succumb to your will”

“I am at your mercy “

“Do as you wish and please “

“Ravish me in your will”

“That’s it truly feel it”

“You are intoxicated with love”

“I am obsessed “

“Intoxicated “

“Oh God! You make rock hard”

“How do you feel about me?l

“I love you “

“Absolutely correct “

“What do you expect Charlie Hunnam? Come in now.” I say swinging the door open in excitement because I know he is loves it madly in love with me soon enough he will follow me like Grant. “Please slate for me Charlie.” I command him as he sits down he stares down with a smile he sits up flipping his hair up with a cute wink and he says his name in a sexy, heavy and gruff.

“My name is Charlie Hunnam”

“Good boi”

“I ain’t a boi ”

“Yes you are”

“I don’t have to stand for this”

“Sit down”

“Baby”

“Cut it out “

“I love you “

“Get off me”

“Stare in to the light “

“Give in”

“I can’t stop “

“Why can’t I think?”

“I can’t move”

“Spread your legs”

“Take off your pants”

“Rise up “

“Remove your clothes”

Chris Wood and Jessie Metcalf waltz into the auditorium for the audition but soon the power of the lights, the heat of night and so much more consume them they are lost to my power as well.

The end

[moistvonlipwig]

3, 12, 18, and 19 for teen wolf (no worries if you want to pass on any of them)?

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

oh see now this question is impossible because teen wolf fandom is capable of producing bad takes that other fandoms can only dream of. "scott helping align a dog's broken leg in his capacity as an assistant vet tech is animal abuse." "stalia is problematic because malia is 45 in coyote years." "scott violated/raped derek" (re: a scene in which scott is forced under duress to make derek bite gerard, which derek only objected to because he did not know about scott's secret plan). "stiles is the only one who ever respected derek." "scott has been narrating the entire show to make himself look better." "deaton is shady and evil." "scott abused jackson" (a real thing someone sent to my inbox). even jeff davis got in on it with "kira's story didn't have anything left to explore." however despite stiff competition i do think we have to give this award to "scott is a werewolf colonizer" because there is something so special about accusing a mexican boy of colonizing the culture of white people who are living in california. and also because it is so so funny to say.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

hm. i don't know if i like any characters who are unpopular within the fandom circles i travel in. like certainly scott is unpopular with the fandom at large, we know this, but i don't travel in those circles so. idk. i guess i think victoria argent is interesting? imo after allison she's the most compelling argent. i think killing yourself rather than becoming a werewolf shows a kind of commitment to one's ideology that automatically makes a character interesting. i don't know what the popular opinion on victoria argent is but that's my take.

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

see again i could point to fandom at large for this but frankly fandom at large sleeps on anything that isn't sterek or steter so i could say anything and it would be true. so my actual answer is that i think more people should ship theo/mason. i get why sceo is popular but i don't know why thiam is so big when...thason? meo? (personally i am voting for meo as a ship name because it looks like meow. however i am willing to be overruled.)...is right there. one of my actual most unpopular opinions is idgaf about morey because i couldn't care less about corey. i don't even know that boy's last name. he's nothing to me. but theo/mason??? both of them experimented on by the dread doctors, one of them 'evil' and the other 'good' (too 'good' to be traumatized, if you ask jeff davis, which is why you should never ask jeff davis), one of them so compassionate and caring, the other callous and lacking empathy, on opposite sides of the fight, yet both bound by the same trauma, and both deep inside wanting to help? look i'm not a big m/m shipper so i'm not gonna write the fic but SOMEONE should write the fic. is what i'm saying.

19. you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

disclaimer i am not ashamed of liking anything because, to paraphrase the great cordelia chase, shame is not something to be proud of. however i am a little mad that stiles and derek genuinely have such a fun relationship. i do actually wish they had more scenes together and i would happily watch an entire episode that was just the two of them on a buddy cop roadtrip and if people wrote more platonic fic of them with their canon personalities being forced into Situations together then i Would read it. i don't ship them because it's not my cup of tea shipping-wise and i think fanon sterek is nothing like canon sterek and is deeply uninteresting but in the year 2024 i must confess that canon stiles & derek did make some points.

[sarndonic]

My ramblings on RE: Death Island

Y'all RE: Death Island opened in PH cinemas today and here are my thoughts on some of the scenes. Leaks have been going around on TW since this morning, so I'm dividing my ramblings into four sections.

WARNING: HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD

Can confirm:

-Definitely Jill's time to shine. Everyone was like..."If there's Jill, there's hope..."

-She even has a big ass plasma rifle scene (probably a tribute to re3r)

-Movie more or less confirms that Jill has met Leon and Claire before. Their first scenes with Jill were like "hey, how's it going?" situations.

-Chris and Claire sibling interactions! We haven't been blessed with those since Code Veronica, nice.

Want to clear out:

-Pertaining to an early leak which caused quite a ruckus on TW: Maria was climbing over Leon like a koala to a tree during their fight scenes, but never once did he flirt with her or anyone else for that matter. He even called Maria "Arias' bitch" who could finally be with her Dad again after she died by Leon's hands. Kinda brutal coming from Leon if you ask me.

-This Leon came in with a luggage-ful of cringey but kinda funny one-liners. He reminds me of Damnation!Leon and I didn't sense any undertones of depression in him! Though he still hates his job (he refers to it as just a "living"), Leon seems to be in a much better place this time around. This scene literally happened:

Leon blurts out a one liner

Jill musters up an Oscar-worthy "Ugh...really?" reaction

Jill, probably:

Want to add:

-Movie was about how people respond to trauma differently. Dylan practically experienced the same sh*t as the main cast in RC, but he had chosen to side with the villains.

-Really nice to see this new model of Leon in action, doing re4r-esque stunts. That was kinda missing in ID, tbh. Also Leon and bikes look hot together, but can never be good news.

-Other character relationships in a nutshell, for those who are interested.

Jill and Leon -> This was definitely their buddy cop movie. I know people like to bully Leon for being "dumb" or for whatever reason, but Jill clearly respects his skills the same way Leon respects hers.

Jill and Chris -> Movie makes it clear that Chris absolutely cares about Jill. You can interpret it as both platonic and romantic (not very much so on the latter, though). I love Chris' "Welcome back!" line to Jill in the end and their little fist bump.

Chris and Leon -> I'd say they're like old co-workers who definitely know how to defeat BOWs. That's about it. They are mostly in action scenes together, with very little dialogue.

Rebecca and Claire -> Had great moments of nerdiness together (I mean that in an affectionate way), but very few action scenes compared to the other 3 mains. 

Can't say much about the other character combos, tbh. There was no mention of the ID conflict bet Leon and Claire. They have very little interactions in the film, probably less than a min. of dialogue? Just Leon saying Claire's name when they saw each other for the first time in the film (not even sure if that was Chris or him even), and then a scene where he ordered her and Rebecca to go mess around with the computers (ala ID).

-That character with a special mention in the early leaks -> It was Chris talking about Piers from re6. Unfortunately, there were no surprise appearances from other fan-fave characters. 

-The ending was your classic "heroes staring into the sunset after one hella fight" cliche, but t'was nice nonetheless haha

Overall:

It's everything you expect from a Resident Evil movie. Campy and with a weak plot, but gets redeemed by featuring a sh*t ton of welcome fan service (both good and bad). I like it better than Vendetta. 

Supposedly a 10/10, but that licker scene was a disservice to Jill, so 9/10.

[dixie12]

The Jonny photo with his surf board makes me wish there was a point break #1988 fic.

Kaner with his blonde curls could differently be a aider boy.

oh what a great idea- thank you so much for this, anon! i've never seen point break, but i am very well-versed in the mayhem of the fast and furious universe (my dog is named after dom toretto), so i have a sense of the characters.

i've spent all day thinking about 1988 in this situation, and trying to figure out who would have which role. my immediate knee-jerk reaction was that pat would be criminal mastermind and jonny would be the undercover cop who slowly falls in love with him. i think it's much easier to see jonny in a law enforcement role, and imagine him awkwardly trying to fit in with the crew, all the while being seduced by pat's curls and his big blue eyes and his thick shoulders.

but then, i thought about it some more, and i actually think it works the other way, too! like jonny as the strong and silent leader of the crew, someone that pat doesn't understand how he even has friends, at first, but then he's drawn in by jonny's charisma, the same way everyone else was, one at a time. he starts to see how smart jonny is, how funny, once you get to know him. how jonny is ride or die for you once he knows you, willing to put himself in danger to get his buddies out of shit, even if he didn't start it himself. and how his friends pay back that loyalty, how they really are a family, all centered around jonny. and now pat's caught up in the pull of him, with jonny's dark eyes and small, secret smile making him forget all about the robberies jonny's crew are committing, making him forget his oath to the police department, and his own friends on the force as he's drawn in deeper and deeper.

[jvstheworld]

Going down memory lane and talking about a film from my past. (TW: death and cancer, for those who might need it.)

I love the film Hot Fuzz. Not just because it's an incredible film and a great take on the buddy cop genre, disguised as a slasher that's not quite a full horror film. No, my reason for my love of this film is more personal.

In early September 2007, I was having what was a normal night in. I was eleven years old and watching Stormbreaker with my mum. Everything seemed fine, I was comfy on one sofa, my mum comfy on another, and one of my brothers was on the computer. My dad was at the supermarket and my eldest brother was out with his friends. Everything seemed fine. I took one look at my mum and she was sitting watching the film with me, and I turned back to the TV. But a few seconds later, she was shaking, convulsing… She was having a seizure. My brother called an ambulance and then our dad. The paramedics arrived quickly, assessed the situation and were putting her into the ambulance by the time my dad made it home. She was going to be taken to A&E in Scarborough. My dad asked a family friend who lived a few doors down from us to stay with me and my brother while he followed the ambulance to the hospital. I don't remember what my eldest brother did after this. I know he came back and saw what was going on, but after our dad left, I don't remember.

My brother and I were left being looked after by our neighbour and her daughter. They helped keep us entertained while our parents were gone. But when it got time for me to go to bed, there was no way in hell I was going to be able to sleep. I was scared for my mum. Her being in hospital was not new, just the circumstances. My mum had been diagnosed with breast cancer in late 2006, so trips and stays in hospitals were common by the time this event took place. She had already gone through two rounds of chemotherapy and surgery to remove the cancer, but it kept coming back. By the time this took place, it came back a third time and Doctors were struggling with how best to treat it. Surgery wasn't an option because they had already cut away so much tissue during the first two, and they could keep going with chemo, but it clearly wasn't working. And things were only going to get worse after this night.

When it got to around 11pm, I still couldn't sleep. I came back downstairs and was met with understanding that I was too worried about my mum that sleep just wasn't going to happen. So, it was suggested we watch a film. The film in question, Hot Fuzz.

This film helped take my mind off of one of the scariest nights I have experienced. And I get that there will be people thinking ‘That film is inappropriate for an eleven year old to watch.’ First of all, who really cares? And second… Meh. I needed something to give me an escape, and it worked. For a couple of hours, I was focused on an amazingly funny, well thought-out film. Yes, it is very bloody, but that was part of its charm because when you think of buddy cop comedies, you don't think of over the top violence and blood splatters. Especially when you combine it with some of the best-known actors in the UK: Olivia Colman, Cate Blanchett, Bill Nighy, Paddy Considine. Yes, I could list the entire cast as it is pretty stacked, but in recent times, because of their careers, they are the biggest names. To this day, I still quote this film. Every time I see a swan, I think of this film.

This film holds a special place in my memories. A bright spot in what was an extremely difficult and tragic year. I barely remember what happened during the time when my mum was diagnosed to the day she died over a month after the events of the night in question. But I remember this film and how it helped me through one of the worst nights of my life.

[antimony-medusa]

IM BACK i love your opinion on ships (sorry if youve already gotten any of these)

QSMP quackity and slimesicle

benchtrio (how could i have yet to do this!!!)

and emduo if you havent gotten them yet! (i didnt send it before because i assumed someone would seeing as you are The EmDuo Blogger in my heart, but i dont think ive seen you answer it)

Quacksicle!

I have seen people make very compelling arguments for this one and I respect it greatly, but I have a hard time spinning it up mentally personally? I can see it, but I just haven’t written Quackity that way very often. Still waiting for that one fic to convince me. :D

Benchtrio!

Ohhhh benchtrio. This is one where like, there’s the canon dynamic, and then there’s like four different fanon dynamics, and my feelings on them vary a lot. I feel like in canon they went through some really traumatizing stuff so young, and there’s no way for that not to leave a mark in you. The people you went though hell with at seventeen will be with you for the rest of your life, even if you don’t speak. And like, as a group in canon, I see them more as like a set of three duos rather than one trio.

In fanon though, sky’s the limit, I have very much been convinced in some fan works that they are each other’s GUYS all as a group. I think they should be the trio of roommates that live down the hall that got a couch stuck in the staircase and you know two of them are dating but you’re never one hundred percent sure which two are the ones dating, because they all have something more strange and terrible than simple romance going on. They’re blowing up buildings. They’re committing marriage fraud. They did terrible science in the bathroom. They adopted a very cute hairless cat. They’re on the run from the cops. They killed a man. They’re living their best lives.

Emduo oh my emduo.

I could go to other fandoms but they don’t have emduo so I guess I’m stuck here for life. My GUY, my guys, my favourite guys. I’m so normal about them. This is a thing where I respect everybody’s right to headcanon and dynamic as they wish, but also prevailing fanon makes me cry and sob and throw up, because I have done my due diligence and put in the work and like 99.5% of the time you cannot convince me of these guys as a father-son pair. Some people have pulled it off, but as a general rule, I’m just not clicking through on the fic any more because I’m just there weeping about where my BROS where my BATTLE BUDDIES are at. So, y’know, finding fan content is a trifle difficult for me. But the good thing is I just get to write them myself, so I can just keep doing that and I’m happy.

I have been variously convinced of them in various different non-family dynamics— I think someone described this duo as a Swiss Army knife of relationships? No matter the situation, you can put an Emduo there! Like, QPRs tending romantic, QPRs tending platonic, Epic Friends, Work Buddies, Morails, Romantic, Respected Enemies: I’m good with the whole spectrum there as long as you can convince me that they’re important to each other (and that they’re not related). But, y’know, as long as you make Techno funny and Phil swear I’m probably there anyways. Ueueueueueueueue. I need to go write them again actually right now.

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