#and buddy cop situations are so funny

[thirium-drinker]

I really should draw Markus and Kara more but the dbh coppaganda really got to me

[chase-solidago]

So you found a dead body in the woods

The worst thing you've worried about, going on hikes, happens. This happens often, in the grand scheme of things. It's always joggers and dogwalkers and hikers. My unlucky day came on October 24, 2022.

So what do you do when you find a dead body?

Look in the other direction and take a breath. Panic wont help you or them.

If you are comfortable, approach them and try to help. If not, it's okay. I was unwilling to approach (they looked real dead) and my 911 operator was 100% totally supportive and okay with that.

Walk a little ways away. There is no reason why you need to keep staring at them. It's okay. Seeing a dead person is really wack!

When you've caught your breath, call 911. My first thought was "Oh god, I don't want to talk to cops." and, good news, it's not cops! 911 responders are different people. They are trained to talk to you, to reassure you, and to help you. They are there for you. They understand you are freaking out. They are kind and patient.

Your new buddy, the 911 person, will help you figure out where you are, exactly. They have access to your location via cell-tower and GPS, but if, like me, you were off-trail (oops), they might need your help navigating to you. I offered to also send a photo, and he provided an email, which he received immediately. I deleted the photo I took right away.

Hang out on the phone with your dispatch friend. They're going to want to keep in touch with you as the paramedics approach. Are you freaking out by chattering too much? Are you freaking out by being dead silent? Both are okay! Apparently, my panic response is to become Super Midwestern Chatty. I was able to make him laugh, which I count as a win.

Holler to the paramedics. My paramedics came deep into the ravine-filled woods, about six men, steering a rolling bed thing. We shouted at each other until they made it to the body. It would have been funny, watching them fumble along, if it wasn't so serious.

Get out of there! The paramedics don't need anything from you. They're busy doing their job. They shooed me back to the trail and to the parking lot. I didn't have to go anywhere near the body.

Meet cops in the parking lot. In my situation, the cops didn't want anything from me. They were just picking their noses in the parking lot while the paramedics did the real work. The cops said thanks for helping, while covering their bodycams, because they're pigs.

Go eat donuts. Christ, that was a lot. Let yourself comedown and get some sugar to kickstart your system.

Feel good that you gave a family closure. Yeah, that sucked. Yeah, your therapist is going to hear about this. Yeah, next time you come to this location, you're going to need a friend with you. But you did the right thing. You'll never know their family, but know that you gave them closure.

[mothmothwoth]

so with the Wilbur situation happening and more people talking about Shubble I thought it’d be a good time to recommend and talk about Shubble stuff that I’ve loved and have lived rent free in my head for years. (All of which are older stuff, Shubble was my jam like 6 years ago)

Agents - This is a series that started out as the typical comedy bit where Shelby and their friend Max (Mithzan) pretend to be Secret agents on a mission. They play old Minecraft mini games and challenges and are just a really funny duo together and they play off really well. However they start to incorporate lore and returning characters into the videos which create an overarching story to the Agents series. The original series that came out in 2016 (ish?) Ends with the end of the world and many mysteries unexplained. However there is a prequel series Shubble made after the Original Agents which explore Agent Shed and Zeds backstory, how they met, and gives Shelby’s love interest (Death (or well actually its deaths son?? In the prequel he hasn’t taken over for his father yet) also yes Shelbys character has a crush thing on death) a personality and character as well. I loved this thing, honestly I still do love this series it’s silly and the mystery made me lose it as a kid. It honestly is still my jam I will most likely rewatch this one soon.

Mystery Hotel - This is a roleplay mystery series Shubble did that has less of the comedy and buddy cop duo of Agents but more story and an almost haunting vibe. It has Shelby as a person walking into a hotel hoping to get a room to crash for the night and being trapped in the hotel and the other guests rooms. The guests are all her friends and they play games and challenges and when they succeed the guests are free from their rooms. This one is more actually one off than agents but it has a really nice vibe and the people all seem to be having a good time doing this. There is also a heavy sprinkle of lore between the fun so it leaves you with questions and wanting to find out more. I honestly do not remember the ending because I watched it when it came out and it was a long time ago.

Shelby almost dies in a stairwell - This story time video has been in my head for 7 years. I NEED to tell someone about this. Shelby got trapped in the stairwell and this is her video about that. This video turned me off of conventions forever and gave me permanent paranoia of being stuck in a stairwell. I think I watched this video like 18 times when I first saw it and I cannot tell you why. AND THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN. I cannot explain why these videos are so special to me they just are. Someone please tell me you share the experience of watching these I’m going to lose my mind.

but anyways Go watch Shubble they are silly, go watch her new content. Just. go bananas. Support Shubble (thumbs up)

[innuendostudios]

new video about Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy, and how everyone* keeps getting them wrong! this video is sponsored by Nebula, a place where you can watch the original version of this video before I had to tweak it for YouTube's copyright bots. (by clicking that link, you can get an annual subscription for 40% off.) or you can just back me on Patreon, which is also cool and good.

transcript below the cut.

I adore Edgar Wright’s Cornetto Trilogy. I flirted with making a video about it ages ago, had a draft of a script, but ultimately decided it wasn’t about anything except “here’s a thing I like, and here are its (I thought) very obvious themes.” So I shelved it. But, in the years since, I have seen multiple video essayists on this here website claim that these movies are about growing up and taking responsibility. (I say “multiple.” It’s not a lot. But it’s more than one! And that’s enough.)

These people are 100% wrong.

Lemme lay it out: the Cornetto Trilogy is not about growing up. It is not about taking responsibility. It is the exact opposite, and that’s not subtext. It is three movies about stunted manchildren thrust into extraordinary circumstances, and each, in the end, is saved - is redeemed - by abandoning his character arc and failing to grow or change. It is a three-part love letter to immaturity.

And I guess I have to set the record straight.

Sometimes making a video about a thing you love is an act of appreciation. And sometimes it’s out of spite.

The Cornetto Trilogy is three movies: Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World’s End. All three are written by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright; Pegg stars, and Wright directs; all three center on a relationship between Pegg and real-life best friend Nick Frost, which makes each film a reunion of the core team behind Spaced (excepting, but for a small role in Shaun of the Dead, Jessica Hynes). The three films span three genres: zombie apocalypse, buddy cop, alien invasion; each features a Cornetto ice cream cone: strawberry to represent blood, original blue to represent the police, and mint to represent little green men; this is a joking nod to Krzysztof Kieślowski’s Trois Couleur films, Bleu, Blanc, and Rouge, which were based on the colors and themes of the French flag (I don’t care what you say, Emily: #TeamRouge); that nod is funny because Trois Couleur is high-art drama and these are comedies. All three are parodies of, tributes to, and actually surprisingly good executions of their respective genres. And the hook, the gag at the center of all these movies, is that Simon Pegg plays a character wholly unsuited to be starring in this kind of film.

Shaun, the burnout, is the wrong person to survive the zombie apocalypse; by-the-book British bobby Nicholas is the wrong person to lead an American-style bombastic actioner; and alcoholic asshole Gary is the last person to save the world from aliens.

And I think that’s where people get stuck. Because “schlub finds himself protagonist of a genre film” is the elevator pitch for like a dozen Adam Sandler movies. The genre trappings may be as mundane as parenthood or mandated anger management classes, or as high-concept as action movie, whodunnit, or time travel It’s a Wonderful Life if Clarence were Christopher Walken as the angel of death (that… that makes it sound good, it’s not, don’t see Click; leave Frank Capra alone, Adam). But all these movies have the same basic shape: an extraordinary situation forces a guy to confront his shortcomings, which always stem from having never grown up. And you probably haven’t seen all of these movies, but if you’ve seen any, I bet you have assumptions about how the rest end: even though “Adam Sandler acts like a child” is generally the selling point of an Adam Sandler movie, they all end with some lip service toward becoming an adult: hey man, grow up a bit; appreciate your family a little more; square your shoulders; clean your room. This is so standard, it was parodied mercilessly in Funny People.

And this was a formative microgenre for my generation! Whole universe turns itself upside down to teach some shitty dude to, like, do the dishes and pay his wife a compliment now and then - Liar Liar, Bruce and Evan Almighty (all directed by the same guy, by the way). So I don’t blame people of a certain age for seeing the first act of Shaun of the Dead and thinking “I know where this is going.” And when, at the last minute, it swerves and goes someplace else, you could read that as a gag, a final subversion of expectation, still the same basic shape. But no! No! Once is a gag - thrice??? Thrice is a thematic statement!

So lemme make my case. I’ma take you through these movies one by one - we’ll talk about the manchildren and the expectations set by the genre, and then we’ll talk about that last-minute swerve and what it means. And then you’ll tell me I’m right and apologize!

Shaun of the Dead:

Shaun is a man in his twenties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the slacker.

What is his problem? He needs to sort his life out. Shaun doesn’t know how to take action. He hasn’t advanced since college - he’s been working the kind of job a teen takes over the summer for like a decade, lives with the same best friend, has the same petty fights with his stepdad, goes to the same pub every week with the same group of people. He can’t make a reservation, he can’t manage a calendar, he’s a washup. This makes his girlfriend, Liz, feel stifled, trapped; he is a weight around her ankle, taking her on the same date week after week, keeping her from living her own dreams, having her own adventures. She gives him one last chance to prove he can sort his life out, and he blows it, and she dumps him.

And then: a zombie movie happens.

The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: to survive, and save his loved ones, he’ll have to take action, make plans, be decisive. This is a common fantasy: when you feel ground down by the mundanity of life, you might imagine, oh, if only a crisis would happen, like a zombie virus outbreak, where my normal-life problems like “am I gonna make rent,” “is my girl gonna take me back,” “is my roommate gonna kick out my stoner buddy who’s crashing on the couch” become meaningless, and it’s immediately clear what’s really important, what matters. Then I’d know exactly what to do. It’s why disaster movies work as escapism: a necromantic plague - or at least the fantasy of one - is sometime preferable to normal life.

Hot Fuzz:

Nicholas is a man in his thirties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the hall monitor.

What is his problem? He can’t switch off. He is a hypercompetant police officer with a rulebook where his brain should be. He’s so good at being a cop that he’s spotting and unraveling crimes even on his day off. He can’t maintain a relationship, has no friends, all his coworkers hate him because he keeps finishing their work for them, and his stats show up the rest of the force so badly that they scuttle him out to the country.

Now you might be thinking, “Mmm. A fastidious police officer who can’t have fun? How is that a manchild? Sounds pretty grown-up to me. You’re reaching, bud.” Ohhhh ho ho, smartass, do you remember this scene? [bar scene] Yeah! Nicholas Angel has a five-year-old’s notion of law and order. He’s still playing cops and robbers.

And that’s a problem, because then: an action movie happens.

It doesn’t happen all at once: he goes out to the country and finds they do things a bit differently there. They are (ostensibly) less concerned with rules than what than the rules are for: if the purpose of drinking laws is to keep the streets safe and orderly, and letting some people off with a warning or allowing kids drink so long as they do it inside achieves that end, the rule can be bent. That’s a judgment grown-ups can make; I mean, they’re the ones who wrote the rules in the first place. So be lenient with shoplifters, don’t hassle people for speeding; this isn’t the Big City, you can use your better judgment. But Nicholas never got past doing whatever Mom & Dad said; obedience, and trusting whoever’s up the chain, is his entire moral framework. He can’t accept that bending the law could be more righteous than following it.

But also maybe there’s a criminal conspiracy murdering people and writing it off as accidents and the police chief might be in on it. Or maybe Nicholas is so desperate for a big case with no moral ambiguity that he’s seeing things where they aren’t. 

The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: either there’s nothing going on and he needs to chill out about procedure, or the department is corrupt and he’ll have to go rogue like it’s Point Break - and this is how he experiences Point Break. [“paperwork”]

No matter what, he’ll have to bend the rules, which he constitutionally cannot do.

The World’s End:

Gary is a man in his forties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the delinquent.

What’s his problem? Pfffft. What isn’t his problem? Gary is a manipulative, narcissistic, lying, self-destructive, ignorant, violent, thieving, shit-talking, unapologetic asshole who peaked in high school when being all those things was still kind of badass. The greatest night of his life was the drunken pub crawl after graduation he and his friends didn’t even finish, and he’s been tumbling downhill ever since. He’s spent his life ruining everyone who knows him until there’s no one left to ruin but Gary King. So now it’s time to bully the old gang into going back home with him to relive that night by finishing the pub crawl, because, in his own words, it’s all he’s got. And he and his friends have to confront how home has changed since they left - the bars have gentrified, not everyone recognizes them; the defining, epic deeds of Gary’s youth have been forgotten. You can’t actually go back because that place doesn’t exist anymore.

And then: a sci-fi movie happens.

Turns out the town’s been taken over by aliens, and all the people who couldn’t conform to their new order have been replaced with robots! That’s why no one recognizes them! And that’s why the pubs all look the same: the aliens are homogenizing everything! And it’s clear, if they can’t get Gary and his friends to play ball, they’ll roboticize them as well! The obvious move is to get the hell out of town, but Gary keeps inventing excuses to stay and finish the pub crawl, and they sound pretty sensible because the group’s already five pints in. The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: sooner or later he’s gonna have to give up on recapturing his youth and do what’s best for him and his friends now, even if it means running back to the city where all his problems live.

So there we have it: the characters cross the threshold into an unfamiliar world where an external conflict cannot be addressed without resolving the tension within. The slacker will have to get his shit sorted, the hall monitor will have to break the rules, and the delinquent will have to do what’s good for him. And, to an extent, all three know this! The movies Wright and Pegg pay homage to exist in these stories - Shaun knows what a zombie is, Danny keeps Nicholas up watching Point Break and Bad Boys II, and Gary and friends know bodysnatcher movies so well they have philosophical debates with the robots about whether “robot” is the PC term.

So, yeah, if you turned the movies off there, I could forgive you for thinking that’s where they’re headed. But you goofballs watched them to the end and then made content about them, what is wrong with you???

What actually happens in the second halves of these movies?

Shaun twigs that he’s in a zombie movie and, at first, tries to play the part - his survival plans are miniature hero’s journeys with him as protagonist, wherein he’ll save the day by neatly confronting all his flaws. He’ll resolve parental conflict by saving his mom from his zombified stepdad, resolve romantic conflict by showing his girl he can come through when it counts, and resolve internal conflict by being a man who saves the day. And all his plans suck! It’s just the same plan he always comes up with! Dragging around the same useless liability of a bestie, collecting the same group of people, and holing up in the same pub! He doesn’t save his mom: his stepdad apologizes, resolving their conflict for him, and then survives in zombie form but Shaun’s mom gets killed; most of the friend group gets killed because the crisis does not actually suspend but in fact amplifies their personal grievances; and he doesn’t save the day, just manages not to die long enough for the military to show up.

But… well, Liz wanted adventure and now she’s had enough for a lifetime, so… she’s down to just be boring with him for a while - sit on the couch, watch TV, hit the pub. Beats running for your life. Tensions with the roommate are gone cuz roommate died, but rent is covered cuz Liz moved in. Zombies don’t get eradicated, just folded into normal life, so Shaun can mindlessly play video games with his bestie forever, and it’s not a problem that bestie doesn’t have an income cuz he doesn’t need food or shelter.

The zombie apocalypse doesn’t make Shaun sort his life out, it changes the world til he doesn’t have to.

When Nicholas discovers that, yes, there is definitely a murderous criminal conspiracy inside the police department, he recognizes the only way to bring about justice is to become what Danny has always wanted and go Dirty Harry on the town. It’s either that or just swallow the crimes. But he does neither. He and Danny go on an epic shooting spree, recreating famous movie scenes, taking out the entire criminal organization against all odds, and spouting badass one-liners… but everyone who helps them is a cop, they don’t actually kill anyone, all perps are formally arrested, and they fill out all the paperwork. I think he even properly signs out the weapons. He never switches off, never breaks a rule, does absolutely everything by the book, only… louder. And this violent showdown saves him from the chill town with lax rules he thought he’d moved to. Now he, with his five-year-old notion of right and wrong, is in charge of the police department.

The buddy cop actioner doesn’t make Nicholas bend the rules, it changes the world til he doesn’t have to.

Gary knows exactly how a movie of this sort is supposed to go and spends the whole movie running from it. Friends and secondary characters keep sharing these poignant moments with him, because they know this story, too: yeah, he’s gonna reject help at first, but sooner or later he’ll hit rock bottom and then someone will get through to him. And, as the night goes on, and the characters get drunker and drunker, and Gary passes up more and more opportunities to abandon the pub crawl and go home, these moments take a tone of desperation. They start to sound more like interventions; like, Gary, we all know you’re going to come to your senses but could you hurry up with it??? How many of your friends need to literally die for you to shape up? Are you gonna get them all killed?

And the answer is: Gary will never shape up! To Gary the Human Dril Tweet, his friends trying to save him, psychiatrists trying to treat him, and aliens trying to assimilate him are all the same thing. He doggedly makes it to the end of the pub crawl and confronts the alien overlord who tells him all the technological advancements of the past few decades - all the efficiency and homogenization that’ve changed the face of his home town - are their doing. The Information Age is an intervention on behalf of Earth, a pan-galactic effort to save humanity from itself. And the reason they’ve been replacing people with robots is some people are too fucked up to go along with it.

And here’s Gary, King of the Fuckups, brashly declaring that fucking up is what makes us human. There is no freedom without the freedom to ruin your life. We are endowed by our creator with the right to be drunken, ornery pieces of shit.

He tells the aliens to piss off and he’s so fucking annoying that they do, and they take the Information Age with them.

Now… I know… ugh… I know a lot of people love this movie, say it’s the best of the three. Some friends who’ve struggled with mental health or just being an adult under late capitalism really identify with Gary, and the valorization of being a mess. I see you, you’re not wrong, I get it, I really do. But can we just… not “but” but “also” can we… can we also admit that this ending is… this is Space Brexit.

Like, literally it’s an alien invasion but symbolically this is Gary rejecting the adult world of rules and authority and doing what’s best for the community and that’s how Brexiters view the EU. And people keep telling him “Gary, this is in your best interest” and Gary says, I don’t want my best interest! I am registered in the anti-Gary’s Face Party and I will cast my vote by cutting my nose! I choose to do what’s bad for me.

And, like a true Brexiter, he chooses for everybody.

Now tell me that’s a movie about growing up. Gary collapses human civilization in its entirety rather than change, and in the world that follows, he thrives… by being an immature, irresponsible bag of garbage.

To Wright and Pegg, growing up is death, and these are movies about being alive. These characters don’t cross the threshold back into the ordinary world with the ultimate boon of character growth; all three stay in the extraordinary world. The zombies remain, the robots remain, Nicholas is offered his London job back and chooses to stay in the country. These are stories about normal life spontaneously turning into a genre film, and they are made with deep love for those genres; why would they end with leaving those genres behind? Because it’s what Adam Sandler would do?

So there you have it. I rest my case.

“Okay Ian. Why does this matter?”

…what was that?

“You’ve made your point: these movies aren’t about growing up or taking responsibility. So what?”

Uhhhh.

“Bring it home for us.”

…

“Why do you care so much?

[breath]

I wrote the first draft of this script when I was around Shaun and Nicholas’ age, and “so what?” is why I shelved it. Now I’m Gary’s age, this video’s been in the back of my brain the whole time, but I got this far and “so what” is where I got stuck, again. This is why the CO-VIDs came out quicker, cuz I let myself end with “so that’s interesting!” and got on with my life. But there’s clearly something sticky here, more than “someone is wrong on the internet.” (Also, to the YouTubers I’m vaguebooking, who said these were movies about growing up - I’m way more annoyed at the folks I’ve argued with on Twitter about this, you just made a better rhetorical device; you do not owe me an apology!) (Also, to the commentariat: I am not extrapolating this from like two data points, this is chronic and recurring and has been bothering me for years.)

There are a few directions I could take this to give it some “cultural weight.” I could put on my social justice hat and talk about how the “crisis of adulthood” doesn’t play as broad comedy unless you look like Adam Sandler or Simon Pegg, or put on my class analysis hat and talk about how signifiers of adulthood are, traditionally, ways of spending and accruing capital which are, today, often inaccessible to people under 40.

And that’s all legit, but here’s the real deal: I’m just mad at Gary. The world changed around Shaun such that he could stay a child. And Nicholas ended up somewhere he could stay a child. If you missed that, you’re wrong, but whatever. But to say that Gary grew up grinds me, because Gary chose this. The whole movie is people telling him to grow up, and he says no! He says it out loud! He says it to the literal end of the world. To walk out of the theater and say “that’s a movie about growing up” is more than a mistake, it’s a refusal. It’s trying to “fix” the movie by fitting it into a more familiar shape, so it doesn’t say what it says, so Gary isn’t who he is, who he chooses to be.

I’m being cheeky when I say this because he’s a fictional character, but saying Gary grew up is enabling.

Gary says there’s no freedom without the freedom to ruin your life, which is the problem with alcoholics and libertarians: it’s not just your life, Gary! You live in a community, a culture, and an ecosystem! Your actions - everybody’s actions - impact other people! That’s just the way the world is! You can’t shit yourself at the bar without other people having to smell it. We’re all fuckin’ connected, man! You don’t want anyone’s will imposed on you; you spend the whole movie imposing your will on everyone else! You say humans don’t wanna be told what to do, and then you decide humanity’s future by yourself with no input or consent from anyone!

People point to Gary ordering water in the last scene instead of beer as evidence that he got sober, like that’s proof that he did grow up in the end, which are you fucking joking??? Getting sober is a shorthand for maturity the way buying a house is, it doesn’t signify anything in and of itself! Gary drank to escape the adult world of rules and responsibilities! So, yeah, under normal circumstances getting sober would mean he’s made peace with that world and is ready to integrate. But that’s not what happened! The thing he was escaping doesn’t exist anymore! He literally destroyed it!! People died! Probably millions! Now he lives a happy life LARPing as Omega Doom - no I don’t expect you to catch that reference! He doesn’t need to drink! He is literally reliving the best day of his life forever. And even if it did mean personal growth, the idea that a person could make what would be, unequivocally, the most selfish decision in human history, and then spend his life celebrating the outcome, oh but if he overcame a personal demon in the process then on balance that’s maturity? That is lightspeed solipsism! Who are you if you think that way? Are you all Adam Sandler???

And none of that makes this a bad ending, or Gary a bad character. I mean, he is the reason The World’s End is my least favorite, and I don’t like the ending, but I don’t think it’s bad that I don’t like the ending. Rather than watch another addict pull his life together or destroy himself, we watch a downward spiral with so much gravity the whole world self-destructs alongside him. And that’s why The World’s End is the most interesting of the three: it is a bold choice, and I think we are free to feel however we want about the conclusion Gary engineered for himself. I don’t think it’s valid to pretend it didn’t happen.

In the context of the trilogy, we see that Shaun’s immaturity is mostly a problem for Shaun: he would be, at worst, a footnote in the lives of the people who love him; “yeah, I liked Shaun a lot, but I couldn’t carry him through life anymore.” Nicholas is the kind of overachiever that is useful if pointed in the right direction; juvenile code of ethics aside, he is, empirically, helping the community (within the entirely fictional framework where that’s a thing police do). If the world hadn’t changed to turn their flaws into strengths, they would still be relatively harmless. Gary is what happens when immaturity isn’t harmless, and shows us how a world built by that immaturity would look.

There is an appeal to Gary King, a wish fulfillment. Letting your id fully off the leash because you no longer care what anybody thinks - it’s why some people drink, and it’s why some people would like to drink with Gary. But if that’s not just your Friday night, not just your twenties, but that’s your life? There is a destination at the end of that road, and it’s Gary doing something truly ugly. And we see that ugly thing the way Gary sees it: as awesome. But then you see the reality: the Monday morning after the Friday night. We went out with Gary and he did something terrible.

And I’m not telling you to hate Gary for it; I’m not saying Gary can’t be forgiven. In fact, seeing it for what it is is the only way Gary could be forgiven, because, if he “grew up and took responsibility,” there’s nothing to forgive.

I think this is the only way the trilogy could have ended. I mean, you make stories about boys who get older and older and don’t grow up, it eventually becomes a problem. There’s only two ways to resolve it: you either end with a guy actually sorting his shit out, or you go for broke and show what happens if he doesn’t. And I think some of us boys saw that and said, “no, noooo, they did grow up! all three of them!” rather than say, “haha! hahaaa! ……………shit.”

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

if you’re doing the ask game, for nthcth, what are your favourite daisy + jon buddy cop adventures?

Daisy and Jon have been to French prison because in canon, Gertrude and Gerry responded to that French bug guy, got in an argument over whether to set the building on fire, and decided to leave it be because they didn’t want to risk a run in with French authorities. So that guy lived to marry a bug.

But in nhthcth it was Jon and Daisy and they stared at the building for a very long minute before Jon said “honestly I think we should just torch this whole situation” and they did.

They got arrested.

French prison was cold. For some reason they put Jon in lady jail with Daisy. It was because Daisy gave the impression that she would bite if she was not allowed to keep Jon with her in lady jail. This was an accurate impression. Every time they tried to process Jon’s fingerprints, their computer stopped working forever. Cameras broke when they tried to photograph him. It almost caused an international incident. Elias had to get involved. Basira had to come down to try and convince them to let Daisy go but by the time they got there all the French police were scared of whatever the fuck was going on with those two and said she could have them if they promised to leave forever and never come back. They had to sign forms. Basira wanted to leave Jon there but Daisy said she’d stay in French jail if they didn’t take Jon too and Basira was secretly worried Daisy would end up with a French prison wife and their slightly toxic slow burn would be for nothing didn’t want to deal with the paper work.

The car ride home was hauntingly quiet.

So yeah Daisy and Jon are permanently banned from France. They think it’s funny.

[oceannote]

The Space In Between

Note from author: Hello, my lovely people. As I said last time, new day, new fic 👀. This is extra special because it really got me into a crazy writing mood. The scenario is not as complicated as it looks, but it might be a bit disappointing for those expecting a Yoongi fic. I promise it is coming, but for now we will focus on Mrs. Jeon for a bit. XoXo YK

Summary: As a celebrity personal trainer, your inner circle was always filled with very popular idols. But what happens when one of your closest clients wants to become more than your friends, even though you are dating his group member?

Warnings: Characters are fake and are a result of fiction, mentions of cheating, explicit content and swear words. Do not copy, translate or remake the story.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ “I am absolutely exhausted,” I groan, dramatically collapsing into the car seat like I’ve just run a marathon through hell. I fiddle with the seatbelt that’s currently trying to slice my hipbone in half. “This thing is literally trying to kill me. Who designed these?”

From beside me, Hoseok chuckles, giving me a thumbs up like we’re in a buddy-cop movie. “Hey, we really appreciate you coming, though. The guys are probably dying to see some familiar faces before they rejoin the chaos that is real life.”

He flashes me that signature Hobi smile, the one that could make flowers bloom in winter.

In the front passenger seat, Jin turns halfway around, bracing himself on the back of my chair like he’s about to deliver some divine prophecy. “I bet you're counting down the minutes until Yoongi’s back, huh?”

I shrug, fiddling with the fuzzy cat-shaped keychain dangling from my bag, a mini version of Mochi, our shared white menace. “It’s not too bad. He’s in public service, so his schedule's been flexible-ish. But yeah… I haven’t seen him since May 1st, so I’m definitely ready for some in-person boyfriend energy again.”

And if it wasn’t clear before, yes. Min Yoongi is my boyfriend. That Min Yoongi. The mysterious, effortlessly cool, slightly terrifying BTS rapper that millions of people would sell their soul to share a coffee with? Yeah. Him.

How did that happen? Great question.

Let’s rewind.

A few years ago, I got hired at HYBE as the main personal trainer and pilates instructor for idols. I know, plot twist, right? And in a shocking turn of events, not running my mouth for once actually paid off. My client list exploded. At this point, 80% of the idol industry had been trained under my guidance. HYBE artists in particular were my speciality. So naturally, when I met Yoongi at some swanky corporate event, I was already neck-deep in professional idol land.

And yet, Yoongi was… different. Quiet. Sharp. Inappropriately funny when no one else could hear. We went from polite conversations over buffet shrimp to full-blown dinner buddies within a month. And then, of course, came the romantic disaster waiting to happen.

We started dating while he was already enrolled in his military duties, which probably sounds like the least ideal situation. But honestly, it was kind of perfect. With the other members scattered in different stages of service, we had room to just be. No cameras, no pressure, no “oppa” nonsense.

It was all going great, until it didn’t.

Yoongi, in a moment of boyfriend brain malfunction, meant to send me a cute post-nap selfie of us snuggled in bed, our heads barely peeking out from under the covers like two sleepy dumplings. Adorable, right?

Except he accidentally sent it… to the BTS group chat.

Yeah. That group chat.

I’ll never forget the chaos that followed. Namjoon apparently dropped his tablet. Taehyung’s response was, “Omg hyung???? 😳💀💀💀” Jimin just sent thirty-seven skull emojis and the words “I KNEW IT.” And Jungkook? He texted me separately: “So… you and hyung? For real?”

Lucky for Yoongi, I already had a decent rapport with the members. I was especially close with Jimin and Taehyung through training. And Jungkook… well. Jungkook and I were very close before Yoongi and I ever started dating. Practically work besties.

So now, here I am. In one of two black vans crawling toward the military base to pick up Jimin and Jungkook, who are finally, finally wrapping up their last hours of service. My makeup is doing its best to hide the exhaustion, my heart is low-key sprinting a marathon, and I’m trying very hard not to overthink seeing Jungkook again for the first time in months, after going ghost mode on him.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Jin asks, eyeing me with raised eyebrows and an annoying amount of insight.

“Ready for what?”

“For the moment, Jungkook sees you again and possibly bombards you with questions regarding how you completely forgot about your friendship since you started dating Yoongi.”

I scoff. “He’ll be fine.”

Hoseok laughs so hard he almost chokes on his iced coffee. “You keep telling yourself that, Y/n. You keep telling yourself that.”

And somewhere in the back of my head, I hear a familiar voice.

‘So… you and hyung? For real?’

Yeah. This is going to be fine.

Right? The car slows down as we approach the entrance of the military base, and the first thing I notice, unsurprisingly, is the crowd.

Dozens of cameras are already positioned in front of the gates. Lights are flashing even before we fully come to a stop. Reporters are lined up like they're waiting for royalty to arrive. Honestly, it feels a bit surreal, even though I should be used to this by now.

“Yep… media circus is in full swing,” Jin mutters, peeking through the front window with a sigh. “Didn’t even give them ten seconds of peace.”

“They probably camped out here overnight,” Hoseok says, shaking his head. “They always do this. Every time someone is discharged.”

I lean forward slightly, catching a better glimpse of the chaos outside. “I think I should stay inside,” I say quietly, pulling back just as a blinding camera flash hits the window. “The last thing they need right now is someone new in the frame for people to speculate about.”

Jin turns back toward me, his expression soft. “Good call. It’s already going to be overwhelming.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok agrees. “Better to let them have this moment with the cameras before they get a chance to breathe.”

They both nod at me once more before slipping out of the van, their faces already composed for the media. As the door slides shut behind them, it feels like someone just opened floodgates, camera shutters go off like rapid gunfire, and a wave of voices erupts all at once.

I quietly shift toward the back of the van, climbing over to the end bench and settling in as comfortably as I can. This… is going to take a while.

From my spot, I can see just enough through the tinted windows. The crowd is thick. Security is barely keeping the reporters behind the rope lines. The energy is loud, chaotic.

About ten minutes pass before the large steel gates finally open.

And there they are.

Jimin and Jungkook step out side by side, wearing their uniforms with a quiet pride that’s impossible to ignore. Even from here, I can tell something’s changed. Their posture, their expressions, there’s a gravity in the way they walk now. More grounded. More sure of themselves.

They’ve grown.

Literally too.

Jungkook was muscular before, but now he looks like he could lift Jin and toss him over his shoulder like a gym bag without breaking a sweat. His shoulders are broader, his jawline sharper, and his walk, confident, steady. Even the way he scans the crowd is different. More focused. Controlled.

And Jimin… god. His dancer’s build has shifted. He still moves gracefully, but there’s a solid strength in him now. His arms, his back, even through the uniform, you can see the lean muscle sculpted from daily drills and constant training. He looks like someone who’s been through something and came out the other side tougher.

I watch as they walk toward the others. The moment Jin and Hoseok spot them, they break into a run.

“Jimin-ah!” Hoseok calls out, arms already wide.

Jimin barely has time to react before he’s being wrapped in a full hug, and then Jin’s joining in, slapping Jungkook on the back so hard it actually makes Jungkook laugh.

“I can’t believe it’s really over!” Jin says, eyes already glassy. “You two look like you came back from a drama shoot, not the military!”

Jungkook grins, pulling him in for a tight hug. “Hyung, you’re gonna make me cry.”

“You’re not allowed to cry before me,” Jimin chimes in, his voice soft but teasing. “That’s the rule.”

Reporters are shouting questions now, microphones shoved into the chaos from every angle.

“How does it feel to be discharged?”

“Jimin-ssi! Jungkook-ssi! What are your plans now?”

“Is BTS planning a comeback soon?”

Neither of them answers right away. They’re too busy taking it in, hugging their members, greeting staff, exchanging quiet words that don’t carry over the noise. Hoseok hands them each a bouquet, classic white roses wrapped in blue ribbon, and Jin tries to snap a selfie while the camera flashes nearly blind him.

I stay still, tucked into my corner of the van. Watching. Taking it all in. My heart’s racing a little faster than I’d like, but I can’t help it.

This is a big moment, for them, and somehow… for me too.

And then it happens.

Jungkook turns his head slightly. His eyes scan the crowd, casual at first. But then he pauses. Looks past the cameras. Past the noise. Toward the van.

Our eyes meet through the tinted glass.

Just for a second.

But he sees me.

And I know it. After about twenty more minutes of interviews, camera flashes, and a seemingly endless stream of questions from the press, the atmosphere finally begins to shift. Hoseok and Jin stand off to the side, quietly admiring the way Jimin and Jungkook handle the attention with that familiar polished ease, half-practiced charm, half genuine relief to be back.

The crowd starts thinning, the PR team begins giving signals, and finally, someone calls out, “Alright, let’s wrap it up here. Let’s get the boys to the vans.”

From where I’m sitting, I can just barely see through the tinted glass. The four of them start to split, Jimin and Hoseok walking toward the first van, deep in quiet conversation. Jin follows a few steps behind Jungkook, who’s moving steadily in our direction.

I feel my heart drop straight into my stomach.

The sliding door opens with a mechanical hiss, and then���

There he is.

Jungkook steps in first, followed closely by Jin, and the moment our eyes meet, it’s like the world pauses. His gaze lands on me like a weight, pinning me in place. It’s not surprise on his face, not exactly. It’s something deeper, recognition, warmth… longing?

I blink, but before I can even say his name, he moves. Without warning, Jungkook launches himself over the bench separating us, throwing his arms around me in a hug that’s more relief than greeting.

“I haven’t seen you in forever,” he says, voice low, face buried against my shoulder. I feel him inhale, and it’s clear he’s taking in the scent of my hair like it’s something he’s missed. Like it’s something he’s needed.

I laugh, soft and stunned, and glance at Jin with wide eyes. “Uh… hey to you too,” I say, tapping Jungkook’s back a couple times in the universal please release me now signal.

Jin raises his eyebrows, clearly just as taken aback as I am. “Okay, dramatic reunion noted,” he says lightly, though there’s an amused smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Jungkook finally pulls back, eyes bright, cheeks slightly flushed. He climbs over the bench and settles into the seat next to Jin, but his eyes don’t leave mine. They’re shining. And not just with happiness. There’s something else there, something heavier, more personal. And I don’t want to name it.

Not yet.

“Ahh, Jungkook,” Jin says, squeezing his shoulder with a brotherly warmth. “Can’t believe you’re actually out. You made it.”

Jungkook nods, exhaling like he’s been holding his breath for months. “Yeah… I still can’t believe it either. It feels unreal. I’m excited, but it’s… weird too.”

He turns to me again. “And Y/n. Seriously, thank you for coming. It means a lot.”

I smile, sitting forward slightly so I don’t have to talk over the seats. “No worries. I figured it might be my last chance to see you before you get swallowed up by schedules and rehearsals again.”

“That’s exactly what’s about to happen,” Jin says with a chuckle, leaning back against his seat. “Ten days from now, Yoongi’s out, and after that, poof, Y/n belongs to him again. This might be our final moment of freedom.”

I laugh at the joke, light-hearted and warm, and Jin joins me. But Jungkook doesn’t laugh.

His expression doesn’t shift right away. He just stares at the space between us, jaw tight for a split second before he smooths it into a smile. But I saw it, the flicker of something real, unfiltered, just beneath the surface.

Because for Jin, it’s a joke. But for Jungkook, it’s not.

He knows this moment, me, sitting here, waiting for him, sharing space, smiling like old times, it’s temporary. Once Yoongi’s out, this soft in-between space we’re in disappears. And he won’t have moments like this anymore.

Not like this.

Not with me.

Jin leans his head back and closes his eyes briefly, rubbing at his temples. “God, it’s already starting. Schedules. Emails. I’ve got fifteen unopened messages just from the stylist team.”

“I haven’t even turned my phone back on,” Jungkook mutters.

“You’re in for a lovely shock when you do,” Jin replies.

Jungkook glances at me again, then speaks a little softer. “Did Yoongi… know you were coming today?”

I hesitate. “Yeah. I told him. He said it made sense, that you’d probably want people you were close to there. He was fine with it.”

Jungkook nods, but doesn’t say anything for a moment.

“You were always there,” he says after a beat, almost like he’s not talking to me directly, just stating a fact. “Before. During. Even when you couldn’t visit often. I felt that.”

I don’t know what to say to that. So I just look at him. And he looks back, like he wants to ask something he knows he can’t.

Jin breaks the silence with a yawn. “Okay, this van better stop at a convenience store or I’m going to collapse. I need real food, not protein bars and cafeteria rice.”

That makes Jungkook laugh, and the tension finally cracks. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

We drive off a few minutes later, the mood lighter again. But as I stare out the window, I can still feel Jungkook’s eyes on me, watching, remembering.

And maybe, just maybe, wishing things were different. 10 months ago — 11:12 PM

Private bathroom, second floor of the gym

“Don’t touch me, Jungkook.” My voice is sharp, more out of panic than anger, as I swat his hand away from my shoulder and storm into the private bathroom.

The door creaks shut behind me with a heavy thud, but it doesn’t stay closed for long. He follows quietly, but with purpose. Click. The lock turns. The silence between us now is suffocating.

“Stop yelling,” he says lowly, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it, arms crossed, his chest still heaving from the workout, and now, from this confrontation. “Please.”

I turn to face him, still brimming with fury, my heart pounding in my ears. “You’re out of your fucking mind,” I snap, voice lower now, but no less sharp. “Do you even realise what you’re asking me?”

He doesn’t flinch. “Then tell me. What exactly am I asking you?”

“You’re asking me if I’m in love with you,” I say, voice trembling slightly, though I try to steady it. “Knowing that I’m with Yoongi. Knowing he’s your friend. Your brother. What the hell is wrong with you?”

His jaw clenches, and he runs a hand through his damp hair, breathing hard. “Then just answer the question,” he says, stepping forward, pointing toward the door. “Say it. Say you don’t have feelings for me, not even a little, and I swear to God, I’ll walk out of here and never bring it up again.”

I blink at him, stunned. “You’re insane.”

“Maybe,” he says, voice dropping as he takes another step forward, closing the space between us. “But you’re not trying to convince me that I’m wrong. And that says more than anything.”

“Jungkook…”, I warn, pressing my back against the cold tile wall near the sink. “Don’t do this right now.”

“Why not now?” he snaps. “Why is it always the wrong time with you? We’ve been circling each other for two years. I know you. I know how your mind works. I know how you pull away whenever things feel too real.”

He pauses, breathing shakily, his eyes scanning my face like he’s looking for permission he already knows he doesn’t have.

“I watched you run away from this,” he says, quieter now. “From us. Every time I tried to show you there was something more than just ‘friendship’ here, you shut it down. And then, suddenly, you’re with Yoongi. Just like that.”

I say nothing, because there is nothing to say.

“You took the safe option,” he continues, his voice cracking slightly. “You knew he was steady. Predictable. He wouldn’t mess things up. But me?” He laughs bitterly. “I scared you.”

“You didn’t scare me,” I whisper.

“I still do,” he replies.

I close my eyes, feeling the air shift around us. There’s barely any space left between our bodies now. I can smell the post-workout scent of him, clean sweat, faint cologne, something that’s always been him.

“I care about Yoongi,” I say, barely audible. “He’s good to me. He’s never made me question….”

“But does he make you feel like this?” Jungkook interrupts, eyes locked on mine. “Do you lie awake at night thinking about him the way I think about you? Do you stop breathing when he walks into the room? Does it hurt to not touch him when you’re this close?”

I inhale sharply, turning my face away, but he doesn’t let me hide.

“You’re not just hurting me by pretending this isn’t real,” he says. “You’re hurting yourself.”

His hand lifts gently, almost unsure, like he’s giving me time to pull away. But I don’t. His fingers touch my cheek, warm and trembling slightly. I meet his eyes. There’s a storm behind them, but also something softer. Something aching.

And that’s when it happens.

I move first.

The kiss is hesitant, painfully slow, like we both know it’s a mistake, but neither of us can stop. His lips meet mine like he’s afraid I’ll disappear. Like he’s been holding this in for so long, it hurts to finally let it out.

We stay like that, lost, for just a moment. But it feels like the world pauses.

When I pull away, my forehead rests gently against his. Our breaths are short. My hands are shaking.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

He doesn’t speak. His eyes close, and for a second, I swear I feel him nod, just once. Like he already knew this would be the end before it even began.

Because that kiss wasn’t a promise. It was a farewell.

A final, selfish second in a world where we could’ve been something else, before I walked back into reality, into Yoongi’s arms, and left Jungkook behind. —---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So, Y/n,” Jin says suddenly, turning in his seat to face me with that mischievous glint he always seems to keep tucked behind his polite smile. “Are you going to join us for dinner tonight? Taehyung and Namjoon are coming too. Should be a good time.”

I lift my gaze from my phone, a little surprised at the question. “Dinner?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Little welcome-back thing. Nothing fancy, just the usual suspects and too much food.”

I glance toward Jungkook beside him, but he’s staring out the window, fingers absently tapping against his leg.

“I can’t,” I say, giving Jin an apologetic smile. “I have a late training session tonight, with some of the Twice girls. Their schedules are tight this week.”

Jin gives me a small, understanding nod, but Jungkook reacts more slowly. His eyes flick toward me for a moment, then back to the front of the car.

“Oh,” is all he says.

That single syllable lands heavier than it should. There's a subtle shift in the air, like the temperature dropped a couple of degrees.

I glance back at my phone, suddenly wishing I hadn’t mentioned Twice by name. Not because I’m hiding anything, but because Jungkook knows them, too. He trained at my studio with them once or twice. And now I wonder what he’s thinking.

No one says much after that. The silence is… comfortable, but not effortless. A little too still.

Ten minutes later, the van pulls up behind my apartment building, the driver easing us into the private back entrance like always. A familiar routine. No flashing cameras, no curious glances, just the quiet hum of returning home.

“Well,” I say, unclipping my seatbelt and grabbing my bag from the floor, “it was really good seeing you both again.”

“You too,” Jin says, smiling softly. “Don’t be a stranger.”

Jungkook just nods. Brief. Almost too brief.

“Bye,” I offer, pushing open the van door and stepping out into the cool evening air. “Take care, yeah?”

Another nod, and I give them one last wave before slipping through the revolving doors and into the lobby of my building.

I’m halfway down the hall toward the elevator when my phone buzzes in my pocket.

Jungkook: Is there any way I can convince you to come to dinner tonight?

I stop walking for a moment, staring down at the screen. My thumb hovers over the reply button as a slow sigh escapes my lips.

Of course. Of course, he wouldn’t let it go that easily.

I lean against the wall near the elevator and begin to type.

Y/n: I really can’t, Jungkook. The session runs until 9 pm, and by the time I’d be done and showered, it’s too late. Plus, my car’s still in the shop. I don’t feel great taking the train that late by myself.

His reply comes faster than I expect.

Jungkook: I’ll come pick you up.

Followed quickly by:

Jungkook: And I’ll drop you off. You won’t have to worry about anything.

I pause, jaw tightening slightly.

Y/n: Jungkook… I don’t think that’s a good idea.

The dots appear. Then disappear. Then reappear. Then finally:

Jungkook: Don’t worry. It’s not like that. I’m bringing my girlfriend to the dinner too. I just hoped… maybe we could go back to being the friends we were. You know. Before.

I reread the message. Then again. Then again, just to make sure I didn’t misread it.

Girlfriend?

My heart stutters for a moment. Just a beat, small, subtle, but it’s there. I feel it in the way my hand tightens around my phone. In the way my thoughts scatter like startled birds.

Since when?

A strange weight settles in my chest. Not jealousy, exactly. Just… something close. Something hollow.

He has a girlfriend. That should be a good thing. It is a good thing. It’s what people do. They move on. They find someone new.

But I hadn’t realised he had.

And I hadn’t realised how much that would make me feel like I’d just missed a step on the stairs.

I type, then delete. Then type again.

Y/n: Okay. Sure. I’ll be ready at 9:30.

His reply is instant.

Jungkook: Great. See you later.

I slide my phone into my pocket and step into the elevator. As the doors close in front of me, I lean my head back against the wall, eyes drifting up to the ceiling.

Friends.

Just friends.

Right. —---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Try to stretch it out, and when you dance, try to use some tape under it,” I tell Momo as she waves me goodbye. It’s a little past 9 PM, and the gym is finally quiet.

The last echoes of Twice’s chatter have faded into silence, the sound of their laughter replaced by the soft hum of the air conditioning and the faint scuff of my sneakers against the polished floor. I’m alone now, wiping down the weights section with practised speed. My body’s aching and my eyelids feel like they’re being held open by sheer willpower, but I’ve still got one more thing to do, get home, change, and somehow make it to dinner in one piece.

I toss another used towel into the laundry bin and grab a fresh one, crouching to wipe down the last bench. That’s when I hear it, the familiar ding of the front doorbell. It startles me for a second. No one else is scheduled this late.

I turn, expecting maybe a staff member who forgot something. Instead, standing casually just inside the entrance is Jungkook.

He’s in his usual off-duty look, an oversized black t-shirt that nearly reaches his thighs, ripped jeans, and those chunky sneakers he always says are “surprisingly comfortable.” His hair’s a little tousled, like he ran his hands through it one too many times, and he’s got that same unreadable expression he always wears when he’s thinking too much and saying too little.

“Oh. Hey,” I say, straightening up and tossing the damp towel in the bin. “What are you doing here?”

He gives me a lazy half-smile and leans his weight against the leg press machine like it’s home. “Figured you’d be finishing around now. I remembered your car’s still in the shop, and thought you might end up taking the metro. I was nearby, so I thought I’d drive you home, save both of us some time before dinner.”

I blink, caught slightly off guard. “You really didn’t have to. I was going to take a taxi.”

“Well, I’m already here,” he says, eyes following me as I cross the room to shut down the speaker system. “Might as well follow through.”

He says it so casually, like it’s nothing. Like it’s normal. But the way his gaze tracks my every move… it’s different. It’s not quite intense, not quite soft. Just… observant. Like he’s searching for something on my face, but isn’t sure what.

I glance at him briefly over my shoulder. “Didn’t you have to pick up your girlfriend, too?”

He doesn’t flinch. “Minjeong’s taking an Uber to the restaurant. It’s easier that way, with the press and everything.”

I pause for a second, the name catching me off guard. Minjeong.

Something clicks.

Wait. Minjeong. Winter.

“So… you’re dating Winter?” The words slip out before I can stop them, a little sharper and more surprised than I meant.

He lets out a small chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “Isn’t it kind of weird to call her by her stage name?”

“I mean… yeah. Sorry.” I turn back to the laptop, pretending to focus on logging out even though my hands are suddenly colder than they were a second ago. “I guess I just didn’t know. That you two were… together.”

“It’s not a secret,” he says, a little more gently now. “Just new. Kind of recent.”

“Oh.” I close the laptop softly. “Still. Surprising.”

He walks a few steps closer, still giving me that unreadable look. “Is it… a bad surprise?”

I hesitate, then shake my head. “No. Just unexpected. That’s all.”

He watches me for another beat, like he wants to say something more but decides against it. Then, as if sensing the air's shifted, he shrugs it off.

“Well. You ready to go?”

I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder. “Yeah. Just give me a second to turn off the lights in the back.”

As I walk away, I can feel the weight of his gaze still on me. There’s nothing inappropriate in it, nothing dramatic. But something about the way he showed up tonight, the way he mentioned Minjeong like it was just a passing note, and the way he looked at me when I said her name… it all sits heavy in my chest.

Not quite tension. Not quite confused.

Just something unspoken.

And maybe that’s what’s bothering me most of all. His car is parked in the underground garage, right next to the service elevator reserved for staff and VIPs. One of the many perks of working at a gym designed exclusively for idols: privacy was taken seriously. No paparazzi. No fans lurking outside. Just a quiet, dimly lit basement and a sleek black G-Wagon that looked like it hadn’t seen a speck of dust in its life.

I pull open the passenger door and slide inside. The familiar scent hits me instantly, something like bergamot, leather, and the faintest trace of his cologne. Jungkook doesn’t say anything right away. He simply taps the start button, shifts into drive, and the car eases forward with a low hum.

It’s quiet for a moment, the kind of silence that feels heavy instead of comfortable.

“I didn’t know you could tint your front windshield,” I say, peering through the darkened glass ahead of us. The entire car is blacked out, almost like we’re in a cocoon detached from the outside world.

He glances over at me, the corner of his mouth curving up just slightly. “Well, when you’re an idol, you learn that there are ways to make certain things happen. Privacy becomes more like a… necessity than a luxury.”

“I can see that now.”

A short pause.

“You know,” he says after a beat, eyes still on the road, “I did miss you.”

I stiffen slightly, the words landing in the space between us with a weight I’m not ready to carry.

“Jungkook…” I start, voice low. “I don’t think we should….”

“I don’t mean it like that,” he cuts in quickly, glancing at me before returning his focus to the street. “Not like that, Y/n. Don’t worry.”

My grip on my bag loosens, just a little. I look out the window as we turn down a quieter street, my street. “Then how do you mean it?”

He exhales slowly, like he’s been holding something in for too long. “I mean it like... I missed my friend. We used to hang out almost half the week. Random late-night ramen runs, movies at your place, gym sessions that turned into therapy appointments.” He smiles softly. “Then I went into the military, and everything just… stopped. We barely talked. Except that one time.”

I swallow and look over at him, finally meeting his eyes for more than a second. “Yeah. That one time.”

He nods slightly, pulling into the parking area behind my building. He puts the car in park but doesn’t make a move to get out.

There’s a silence again. This time, it’s loaded.

“It’s really good that you got a girlfriend,” I say, still watching him. “I’m really happy for you, Jungkook. I mean that.”

His eyes flicker with something I can’t quite name, surprise? Gratitude? Maybe a bit of both. “Thank you. Yeah… I am. It’s still new, but it feels good. Peaceful.”

“That’s all anyone can hope for,” I murmur, then add quietly, “I mean it. You deserve to be happy.”

He watches me for a second, his expression softer than I expect. “And you?”

I blink. “Me?”

“Are you happy?”

The question catches me off guard, and I hesitate before answering. “I’m... trying. With Yoongi, things are solid. We’re figuring it out, even with the distance. It’s just... you know. Life doesn’t pause for any of us.”

Jungkook nods slowly. “No, it really doesn’t.”

I take a breath, then speak before I can second-guess myself. “Can I ask you something?”

“Always.”

I look over again, carefully. “Can we please just put what happened that night behind us? I don’t want it hanging over us anymore. I miss having you as my friend.”

His face softens, and without hesitation, he replies, “Of course, Y/n.”

A quiet smile passes between us. No tension, no hesitation, just mutual understanding. Maybe even relief.

We both open our doors at the same time, stepping out into the soft hum of the quiet back alley. The air is cooler than I expected.

I turn, surprised to see him locking the car and casually making his way to the building entrance. “Wait, you’re coming up?”

He gives me a look, eyebrows raised. “I hope you didn’t think I was just going to wait in the car like your personal chauffeur.”

A short laugh escapes me. “Honestly? I wasn’t sure.”

“Well,” he says, already halfway to the back door, “you invited me. And also, I’ve been dreaming about your coffee ever since the army started serving whatever that was in the mess hall.”

I shake my head, following after him with a smirk. “You’re impossible.”

“I missed being impossible with you,” he calls back, and even though the words are light, there’s something real underneath them. We step out of the elevator, trying to move like two shadows rather than two fully grown adults returning from a military base reunion. I keep glancing over my shoulder as we make our way down the hallway toward my apartment, silently praying we don’t run into Mrs. Ko from 502. That woman has eyes like a hawk and the energy of a detective on her fifth espresso.

“Could you walk less suspiciously?” Jungkook murmurs behind me, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. “You’re going to draw more attention like that.”

“I am not suspicious,” I whisper back. “I’m just being cautious. The last time someone saw me bringing a man home, I got a passive-aggressive note on my door about ‘maintaining the moral purity of the hallway.’”

He lets out a low chuckle. “Still haven’t moved out of the drama-filled retirement building, huh?”

We reach my door, and I unlock it with a sigh of relief, stepping inside and quickly ushering him in. He slips off his sneakers and gently pushes the door shut behind him.

“Wow,” he says, looking around the living room. “Your place hasn’t changed at all. Same plants. Same little bookshelf. Even the same candle that smells like vanilla and… what is that, regret?”

I laugh under my breath, tossing my gym bag onto the entry bench. “It’s vanilla and cedarwood, thank you very much. But yeah, not much has changed.”

He walks in further, taking in the room with that quiet curiosity of his. “It feels… emptier, though.”

I glance around, noticing what he means. The missing stack of coffee table books, the second yoga mat gone from the corner, even the cereal boxes that used to fight for shelf space. “Well, yeah,” I say, pulling a towel out of my gym bag. “Half of my daily stuff is at Yoongi’s now. Toothbrush, charger, extra hoodie. It just made sense.”

He nods, but doesn’t say anything. Just flops down on the couch and unlocks his phone, the screen glowing in his eyes. I watch him for a moment before heading toward the bathroom.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower,” I call over my shoulder.

“Go ahead,” he replies without looking up. “I’ll just be here, slowly losing circulation in my legs from your stiff couch.”

Fifteen minutes later, I step out of the bathroom, clean and wrapped in my favorite robe, hair damp and clinging to my shoulders. I go through the motions of skincare on autopilot, but my brain is somewhere else entirely. I pause in front of my open closet, arms crossed, staring at the overflowing hangers like they personally wronged me.

I press the robe tighter around myself, tugging the belt like it's going to give me divine fashion wisdom. Nothing looks right. Everything feels either too formal or not enough. I’m stuck in that weird in-between zone, wanting to look like I didn’t try but also like I magically look amazing by accident.

“You good?” Jungkook’s voice cuts into my thoughts, and I jump a little.

He’s peeking into the room, one hand on the doorframe, the other still holding his phone.

“I have no idea what to wear,” I admit, still staring at the closet like it might grow legs and walk away.

He opens the door a little wider and steps inside cautiously. “Well, considering we’re just going out for late-night barbecue and possibly over-ordering every side dish on the menu, I’d say... jeans and a T-shirt?”

I glance at him over my shoulder. “That’s it?”

“Comfy, simple. You’ll thank me after your second plate of pork belly,” he says with a small grin, walking a bit further in. “Also, your closet is terrifying. I think it just sighed at me.”

I huff out a laugh and grab a slouchy pair of jeans from the pile that’s half-folded, half-chaos. Then I pull out a fitted black T-shirt that always makes me feel slightly more put-together than I actually am.

“This okay?” I hold up the combo toward him.

He nods. “Perfect. You always look good in black.”

His tone is casual, friendly, but there’s something in the pause afterward that makes me glance at him more closely. He meets my eyes for a second, then looks away.

“Would you mind?” I ask, motioning toward the door.

“Oh-yeah. Sorry.” He steps back quickly, pulling the door closed behind him with a soft click.

Once alone, I sit on the edge of the bed for a moment, letting out a long breath.

It’s weird, having him here again. In my space. It used to be normal, before everything changed. Before Yoongi and I became official. Before Jungkook left for the military and things between us… shifted into something quieter.

I shake the thought away and start getting dressed.

Outside, I hear him clear his throat, then say, almost too casually, “So… are you still nervous about seeing everyone next week? When Yoongi’s officially discharged?”

I pause, pulling the shirt over my head.

“I don’t know,” I call back. “Part of me’s relieved. Part of me’s worried. Everything’s moving so fast again.”

There’s a beat of silence before he responds. “You’re not the only one who feels that way.”

And somehow, that comforts me more than it probably should. —---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “If it isn’t the woman of the hour,” Namjoon announces as soon as Jungkook and I walk into the private dining room tucked away in the back of the restaurant.

He rises from his seat with the grace of someone who’s had just enough to drink to feel both charming and unstoppable.

I laugh, stepping into his open arms for a quick hug. “I missed your dramatic entrances, Joon.”

“They missed you too,” he says, smiling down at me before letting me go.

I make my way around the table, greeting everyone one by one, familiar faces, warm smiles, casual teasing. This group has always had a way of making you feel like you’ve been gone a day, even when it's been months.

I take the empty seat next to Jimin, who scoots over to make room for me. Jungkook settles in beside me, at the very end of the table. His presence is quiet, but his shoulder brushes mine briefly as he sits, and for some reason, I feel my breath catch for just a second.

“So, Y/n,” Jimin says, nudging my shoulder with his, “scale of one to ten—how much did you miss hanging out with us?”

“Easy,” I say, leaning into the nudge, “a hundred.”

“That’s not a scale, that’s cheating,” he grins.

“But it’s true,” I say, glancing around at all of them. “You guys have been weirdly hard to replace.”

“I bet you’re counting down the days until Yoongi comes back and saves you from us,” Taehyung calls out from across the table, smirking.

Everyone laughs, and I shake my head with a smile. “You have no idea. He’s the only one who doesn’t try to force me into drinking games.”

“That’s because he’d lose,” Jin says casually. “Yoongi plays the long game. Strategic retreat.”

“Or he just pretends to sleep when he’s had enough of our nonsense,” Hobi adds, already halfway into a glass of something amber.

Conversations start branching off again, Jin and Namjoon are comparing notes about the menu, Taehyung is busy showing something ridiculous on his phone to the guys on his end. It feels… easy. Familiar. But the seat beside me grows suddenly lighter as Jungkook gets up.

“I’m gonna go grab Minjeong. She’s here,” he says, not really to anyone in particular.

I glance up just in time to see him walking out, already scanning the hallway beyond the private room.

Jimin shifts beside me, then leans in slightly. His voice is quieter now. “Hey… you wanna switch seats?”

I blink. “What?”

“I figured it might be a little awkward,” he says carefully. “Being right next to them. Especially if you don’t know her.”

I hesitate for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, that’d be great actually.”

We do the subtle shuffle, me sliding out, him slipping into my old seat, and now I’m between Jimin and Hoseok, while Namjoon sits directly across from me. The air feels lighter already.

“You good?” Hoseok asks under his breath, his elbow brushing mine gently.

“Yeah. Thanks,” I reply. “This is safer territory.”

“Safe zone unlocked,” he says, mock-serious, and gives me a tiny toast with his glass of water.

A few moments later, the door creaks open again, and we all instinctively glance toward it.

“Hello, everyone,” a soft, polite voice says.

There she is, Minjeong. She’s standing in the doorway, smiling a little uncertainly, and behind her is Jungkook, his hand hovering at the small of her back like he’s not sure whether to guide her or just let her take the lead.

“Nice to see you again, Miss Winter,” Namjoon says with a half-grin, raising his glass with exaggerated formality.

Minjeong laughs lightly, a little surprised but clearly amused. “Nice to see you too, Namjoon-ssi.”

Hobi leans toward me and whispers, “He’s definitely already tipsy.”

I stifle a laugh. “That explains the sudden British accent.”

Minjeong and Jungkook walk over to the table, and she takes the seat Jungkook had been sitting in earlier, close to my old seat.

I catch it, the tiny flicker in Jungkook’s eyes as he realises I’m no longer beside him. He glances toward where Jimin now sits, then to me across the table, brows furrowing ever so slightly in a way that says, Wait, when did that happen?

He doesn’t say anything, though. Just slides into the chair next to her, carefully casual. But I know him well enough to recognise that micro-expression. Confused? Maybe. Disappointed? I can't tell. Not yet.

Across from me, Namjoon has resumed his storytelling mode, but I can’t focus. I catch glimpses of Minjeong as she starts talking with the others, her voice light and clear, her laugh practised but genuine. She’s beautiful. Composed. Polished in that way people who are used to being looked at tend to be.

And Jungkook? He listens to her, nods at the right times, and even smiles when she touches his arm during a story. But once, just once, his eyes flick to me again.

And I look away. “Okay, so,” Jin starts from the opposite end of the table, raising his glass slightly like he's about to make a presidential announcement. “Should we just say screw it and get absolutely wasted tonight?”

A chorus of groans and laughter follows, and Jimin, sitting beside me with one arm casually slung over the back of my chair, raises a brow. “Only if you’re paying, hyung.”

Everyone else at the table nods in enthusiastic agreement.

Jin grins like he’s been waiting for that. “Consider it done.” He whips out his card with unnecessary flair and hands it to the amused waiter, who chuckles as he walks away.

“You didn’t drive here, did you?” I ask Jimin, eyeing the way he’s already halfway through his third drink.

“Nah,” he says, sipping again without pause. “But we’ll probably call the drivers to bring the vans once we’re done. I can drop you off, don’t worry about it.” He flashes me that familiar, easy smile, the one he gives when he’s just trying to be thoughtful. But something about it feels a little too light, too casual.

Across the table, I catch Jungkook looking at me. His gaze is heavier than usual, unreadable, and lingers too long. The buzz of conversation around us seems to dull slightly in the background.

Jimin must sense it too, because a moment later he leans in, shielding his mouth with his hand like he’s whispering state secrets. “The hell is up with him?”

I intend to focus on my cocktail. “Definitely not enough alcohol.”

Jimin snorts into his glass.

As the night wears on, our table slowly descends into that comfortable kind of chaos only old friends can pull off. Plates are stacked high with whatever fried food survived our attack, and drinks keep appearing as if summoned by some tipsy magician. Laughter gets louder. Stories get longer. Voices overlap.

At some point, Namjoon pushes his chair back with a low groan. “I should go before I forget how doors work.”

He gets up, clapping Jungkook on the back and giving me a warm smile. “It was great seeing you, Minjeong. And you too, Y/n. Glad you came out tonight.”

“Drive safe!” Hoseok calls out as Namjoon disappears out of the room with a little stumble that earns a round of snickers.

By the time the clock hits 1 a.m., most of us are winding down.

“Should we call the vans?” Hoseok asks, checking his phone. “It’s getting late.”

“I’m going to drop Y/n off,” Jimin says, already typing on his phone. “Anyone else want to ride in the same van?”

Before anyone answers, Jungkook suddenly speaks. “Us.”

His voice is calm but firm, and it draws all attention to him.

There’s a pause, just a beat too long.

Hoseok blinks. “But Kook, wouldn’t it be faster if you came with us? Your place is, like, ten minutes from mine.”

Jin points at him with the last of his drink. “Yeah, Jimin and Y/n live on the other side of the city. That’s a detour and a half.”

“I know,” Jungkook says, eyes not leaving the table. “But Minjeong lives in that part of town too.”

Minjeong, who’s been quiet most of the evening, perks up slightly. “Wait, I thought you were staying over at mine?”

The air shifts. Not dramatically, but enough for me to feel it. Something twists in my stomach, subtle but undeniable.

“Right,” Jungkook says, hesitating for half a second. “I just figured it’d be easier to head over together.”

Jin hums into his glass, raising his eyebrows slightly but saying nothing more. Hoseok glances at me, then at Jimin, but stays quiet.

Jimin doesn’t look at Jungkook, not directly. Instead, he nudges me gently with his elbow. “You good to ride with me?”

“Yeah,” I say quickly, forcing a smile. “Of course.”

But my eyes meet Jungkook’s for a split second across the table.

And in that moment, just that breath of silence, I see something I don’t expect. Regret. Or guilt. Or maybe both.

Then it’s gone.

He looks away, and the conversation moves on. Plans are confirmed, checks are signed, and people start standing up and stretching after hours of sitting and drinking. But the knot in my stomach stays. And I can’t help but wonder what exactly it is that Jungkook regrets.

[diamondcitydarlin]

'but but but male friendship and platonic intimacy are important toooo!!!'

Okay I'm sorry I've been hearing this over and over and over again through the years, it seems to be go-to response of creators/writers/actors/apologists every fucking time a possible queer M/M pairing is shafted to the side and I'm getting so tired of it.

First of all, like I've also been saying SO MANY TIMES through the years, the depiction of platonic male friendship and intimacy in media really isn't some kind of uncharted waters situation like all these people want us to believe. I would GUESS that platonic male friendship and comradery makes up at least 75% (if not more) of media created since films first started being made and that really says nothing of all the literature that preceded. Hell, 'buddy cop comedy' is a genre all unto itself and usually depicts two straight men in the main roles (not always, but when it's anything other than two straight guys it's generally seen as a subversion of the genre). I'm not saying that platonic male friendship doesn't have it's place in media and needs to be done away with wholesale and all fictional male friends now need to fuck and date each other, I'm not saying that it isn't important to show platonic queer male friend characters (more on this in a moment), I'm just saying I'm tired of people acting like 'platonic male friendship' is some kind of underrepresented, underappreciated thing in media every time someone doesn't want to write a queer M/M dynamic when you could literally select any film made between 1920 and now at random and there would be at least a 7/10 chance it depicted two or more men as platonic hetero friends as the emotional crux of the plot. Like please stop gaslighting us and just say you didn't want to write the thing, this is so stupid.

Second of all, (and this is what really gets me) most of these pieces of media that have ended up pulling the 'BUT PLATONIC QUEER FRIENDSHIP' card already fucking have male and even queer male characters as friends in the cast, outside of the relationship in question or, at the very least, have the potential to depict that with many other characters in the cast. Since I'm primarily reacting to Shadows here, I'll use that as a perfect example; both Guillermo and Nandor are friends with several other male characters in the cast, both peripheral and main. If platonic male friendship and intimacy is so important, then what about these dynamics? What about Guillermo and Laszlo's weird blossoming friendship in season 4? What about whatever it is Colin and Laszlo have going on? What about Nandor and Laszlo (though ig they fuck so maybe they don't count bc remember, sex between men is either gross or funny and meaningless)? SEAN AND LAZSLO?? What about Guillermo and Derek? (REMEMBER HIM??) Hell, what about Guillermo's friend from the orgy who ends up topping the vampire, both of whom we literally never hear of again?? Why are Nandor and Guillermo suddenly the load-bearing 'platonic male friendship' of the show when there were many, many, many, many other opportunities to depict that both with and without them? Suddenly at the eleventh hour when it was time to commit or quit to the Nandermo slowburn, 'platonic male friendship' is just so important you guys??? The math ain't mathing. ANOTHER example of this actually done well WHILE FEATURING A CANONICALLY QUEER COUPLE was Our Flag Means Death. Stede and Ed had their romance, but there were also complex queer platonic friendships and dynamics between them and the rest of the cast and the cast among themselves. So, OBVIOUSLY, we can have our cake and eat it too here, can't we? CAN'T WE??

Thirdly, it is undeniable to me that there is an element of homophobia to this argument, as whenever the 'what about platonic male friendship' comes up it's usually accompanied by the implication that IF these two male characters were to be romantic and/or sexual with each other that would somehow diminish their bond. There's always an implication that them being platonic and sexless is somehow 'purer' and we should be grateful for it, and anyone who might have seen potential for and/or wanted to see something sexual and/or romantic between them is a weirdo gross pervert, which rounds us back to the very conservative concept that sex/romantic intimacy in general is just ew icky gross, inherently impure, especially (for some reason) when it could happen between queer characters. (Which, as others have pointed out, is a weird stance to try to take for the show that had NO PROBLEM showing Laszlo, Nadja-ghost and his friend he just finished raising like a son having sex with each other as a joke- that's totally fine and hilarious, but heaven forbid Guillermo and Nandor should share a chaste kiss or something)

Anyway, the point of this ramble-rant being, I REALLY wish people on these shows would just say 'We didn't want to do that' when it comes to a potential M/M queer pairing rather than trying to take some kind of moral soap-box stance about the inherent purity of sexless, platonic male friendships (especially when the show in question had opportunity after opportunity to explore that with several different characters). It's not only gaslighting an audience of people who are WELL AWARE of what media has consisted of over the past 100 years, it also comes with the implication that romantic/sexual intimacy between men is always way ickier than the alternative AND that anyone who felt it could have happened or wanted to see it happen is gross and weird. It's rude, it's demeaning and wholly unnecessary. Just say you didn't want to write it and go, thanks!

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S07E03

Okay, it didn't have the dynamic that most of us tune in for but it wasn't bad. I didn’t like the AI b plot and that’s coming from a person who is not fully anti AI. Wherever one might stand on the issue, what's completely unrealistic is that for a machine to be trained to “think like a cop”, you have to throw so much money at it that the SJPD would have a hole in their budget for the foreseeable future.

Joe thinks he's going fishing. You shouldn't have brought Rex with you, buddy. He will manage to find a body somehow.

Charlie: *calls* Sarah: *drops everything, literally* (That was really funny.)

Damn, Charlie’s brother disappeared in Mexico? And Charlie is down there being a cowboy? I bet the federales will love that. (I know we won’t get to see it but I’d have loved to.)

I did not expect I’d have to worry about Jack’s safety this season, by the way. I hope the writers don’t come up with any stupid ideas like killing him.

Charlie and Sarah said I love you over the phone. This time not while one of them was undercover. That’s some improvement.

I think we could all tell that that’s not Diesel. Again, I wish I was ten years old so that I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

I like Sarah as an investigator. And Sarah with a badge. And Sarah interrogating.

Had to google Elisha Cuthbert. Jennifer Garner, I know, obviously.

Don’t make fun of Jesse having an AI girlfriend. Do you have any idea how many real men are dealing with this right now? Actually, forget the men. I read in a NY Times article about a woman who is spending $200 per month to have her own AI boyfriend via ChatGPT. And I understand this only a bit more than the men who do it because an AI boyfriend can't murder you. Yet.

If they want to get the AI to do something useful, by the way, why not train it to be able to translate dog barks? And all the profanity that is the result of Rex often being unable to get his humans to understand exactly what he means.

That St. Pierre seems like Gotham 2. St. John's is obviously Gotham 1. I guess it’s a better place to make a crime show than I thought.

If they keep going with the use of orange, I’m going to start confusing this show with NCIS.

I know the guy that plays the chef from so many things.

Silicon Sherlock. Good one.

Sarah said what I've been thinking, that Jesse is basically training the AI that could replace his own damn job.

Sarah Truong, shaking hands and kissing babies. Well, just the hands for now. Like, a lot. Cops might shake hands on occasion but when you enter an unknown situation and you don’t know who you’re dealing with, you need to have your gun hand free. In a murder investigation, it's quite possible that one of the people you're interviewing is a killer. Again, one thing that I assume at one point was taught to John Readon for his role (I’ve seen Charlie refusing handshakes plenty) but not the others? I don't want to be unfair, he’s probably shaken some hands too but a) he’s left handed so his gun hand is his left hand, most people shake hands with their right hand, b) they go out of their way to show Sarah initiating the handshake, which… I guess they’re trying to make her seem friendly? As a female cop, it’s the last thing she needs. She’s already being perceived as less of a threat due to gender stereotyping, stature and musculature.

Dogs can't eat raw oysters but raw meat is fine? Interesting. I wonder what the verdict is on sushi.

Covid? There must be a mistake, sir, we never had Covid in this world.

I don’t know if in an episode where your lead investigator is absent you should be passing throughout the whole episode the messaging that an AI can do a lot of the investigative work that a human does. And then at the end of said episode, announcing, without much reason for it since you don't show the AI making any mistakes, that investigations are a human's job when at least half your show is about a dog having a significant role in every investigation.

I’m confused as to where the morgue is. And what kind of morgue is just an empty room with a gurney in the middle. Also, it's good that they realized that they needed an ME or an assistant or whatever, otherwise they'd have Sarah do the testing part and monologue the findings to herself.

I thought the son had done the murder and then turns out that almost everyone of the suspects was involved in the murder one way or another. But I was right.

There was an ad on my episode copy about pizza. Don’t show me the pizza if I can’t get the pizza.

Charlie and Sarah's house seems... kinda huge? From the outside, anyway. I'm not sure where all these rooms are on the inside lol

I honestly can’t judge this episode harshly because I can imagine them trying to come up with ideas with John Reardon being unavailable and I also wonder how much of that also had to do with them not showing Diesel much. I don’t mean that Diesel couldn’t work with the others, maybe they took it as an opportunity to rest Diesel and use some of the younger dogs more since that level of chemistry that John Reardon has with Diesel wouldn't be there either way.

For me, it is pointless to compare the dogs. We knew that if the show goes on long enough, the time would come where Diesel would be shown less and eventually be replaced. I've gone through this many times now so for me it's not something new or unnatural. As a kid I didn't notice, but by the time I got to the Italian Rex episodes, I was old enough to easily tell the difference between the dogs (plus, sometimes they didn't even bother to find one that looked like the previous one). It won't be easy to find another Diesel, though.

Two things I would have liked to see: Rex reacting to Charlie's absence. I mean, when Sarah was away, Rex took her shirt. When Jesse was shot, Rex sat mournfully under his desk. When Joe was going on vacation, Rex hid his suitcase to prevent him from leaving. I was expecting something on that front. And the other is related to that, I was expecting Rex to run to the phone at the sound of Charlie's voice in the end scene. Instead, he seemed... preoccupied with the puffin plushie. Either they didn't even sit down to think how Charlie's absence would affect Rex, at least when he wasn't working because we've established that Rex is a very professional dog, or they didn't have time to train the dog to do these things. I don't know which one it is, so I can't really fault them for that.

Next phone call better be Charlie asking Sarah what she’s wearing. (I will continue being delusional, don’t mind me.)

The situation regarding episode info is chaotic. And I’d very much like to know who adds the information on IMDb because while they seem to be from the production (all the information about guest stars has been accurate), they don’t seem to know when and in which order the episodes will air. Meanwhile, other websites which are usually more accurate, are also wrong.

Promo: So the next one is not the bee episode? I don’t get it. This episode has already changed number twice. Also, looks like Charlie is going to be searching for his brother for the foreseeable future.

[foreverrandomwritings]

Season 8 Episode 9: Sob Stories.

WERE BACK BITCHES!!!!!! IM SO EXCITED AND IM UP AN HOUR EARLIER THAN I NEED TO BE FOR THE DAY SO I CAN WATCH THIS BEFORE WORK LOL.

Okay now down to business.

Jennifer Love Hewitt the woman that you are. I love you so much.

Maddie is really just the fucking best.

I love that we are getting some Josh. He’s one of my favorite characters(even though he does have some flaws).

EDDIE YOU STUPID BOY STOP HURTING BUCK YOU DICK FACE BITCH BOY.

Okay I didn’t mean those harsh words.

Buck is so in love with Eddie. Eddie is a stupid blind man(nothing against blind people, but everything against Eddie).

Okay maybe I meant the harsh words🤷‍♀️

THIS POOR DOG WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

ALL THE DOGS IN THE VAN? NOW IM SOBBING. THIS ISN’T FAIR!

THE FIRE IN THE ANIMAL SHELTER? no. I LITERALLY CANT STOP CRYING THIS IS STUPID. FUCK THIS SHOW I HATE IT.

ALL THE DOGS BETTER MAKE IT OR IM NEVER WATCHING ANYTHING EVER AGAIN.

BUCK I LOVE YOU DEARLY THANK YOU FOR PUTTING YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE FOR THAT POOR BABY!

HIM CALLING THAT DOG BUDDIE IS NO COINCIDENCE WHILE BUDDIE IS LITERALLY BEINF THREATENED BECAUSE EDDIE WANTS TO BE A BITCH AND MOVE!

Okay fine I realized he just wants to be a good father to Christopher but still what the fuck?

Athena and Maddie are such an amazing dynamic duo. But I just love women so🤷‍♀️

Amber seems a bit sketchy. But I am acab at heart and that means all the cop shows I watch as well.

But I won’t lie and say she isn’t good looking because she really is.

Buck helping Eddie setting up for showings.

Not Buck also sabotaging every showing…..

What the fuck is wrong with you Eddie. NO TIES TO LOS ANGELES? NOTHING KEEPING YOU THERE? DOES YOUR BOYFRIEND MEAN NOTHING TO YOU? FUCK YOU DICK BAG.

I’m not happy with Eddie at all in this episode. It’s going to take a lot for him to redeem himself.

Chim, Hen, Bobby supporting Buck having a dog. Then Eddie comes in like a stupid cold wet blanket on his happiness. Fuck you Eddie. Also Eddie being so oblivious to the way Buck is down bad for him is so silly.

Buck pulling silly little Buck things is so adorable and upsetting.

But also landlords that don’t allow pets is stupid as shit.

Also Amber just having this Richard guy ready to go is so fucking suspicious.

Is Maddie still pregnant because she hasn’t mentioned it yet?

Everything about this situation is sketchy bro.

Bro this person is fucked up. Bringing up her daughter.

MADDIE TELLING SOMEONE TO PROFESSIONALLY KILL THEMSELVES BRO……

Dude I know Bullock isn’t the guy now for sure. Saying as though Maddie literally gets kidnapped soon.

This song choice bro. Billie Eilish is everything to me.

Mehhhhhh. The monster is still out there but whatever.

But where is Ravi dude I miss him.

Eddie being surprised by Buck being childish is funny.

Not them talking Blaze from Buck. Buck doesn’t deserve this. I’m literally sobbing dude. That was an absolute gut punch.

There’s only 6 minutes left in this episode.

I CANT WAIT ANOTHER WEEK FOR AN EPISODE!

How am I expected to just go back to work after this?

Them having a lovers quarrel is ridiculous.

“If you think I’m gonna pick you over my son you’re wrong.” -Eddie

“OUR SON YOU DICK.”-Buck

FUCK YOU EDDIE!

I KNEW IT WAS HER I KNEW IT I KNEW IT. EVERYONE CAN FUCK OFF! I AM SO EXCITED I GUESSED IT LOL.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday all :) Just realized we are over halfway done with s4. Crazy ha Naturally after an intense Chenford ep we have the next one be little lighter. Sadly they are missing 90 percent of this episode so it'll be a shorter one. But there is good moments of growth and such. Let’s get going.

4x13 Fight or Flight

Lucy is attached to Nolan’s helicopter kid situation. Which robs us of any Chenford in this episode. Thanks a lot Nolan…I could tell that kid was suspect af in the elevator and I’m not even a cop. John asks for Lucy to ride with him so he can get into this kids mind. It is awesome she is sought after for her psychological experience. We all know Nolan isn’t going to be able to do that…

We get a little crumb at the beginning of the episode. Tim was clearly waiting for her. I love how he instantly supports her. Doesn’t question why she’s helping or upset she is doing that instead of them riding together. Only that if she needs anything he is there for her. Little moments make my heart happy. So I shall take them in lighter eps.

We do get some good Tim and Angela moments which I will always be happy to enjoy. Tim runs into her and she tells him she has an old ‘friend’ of his in for questioning. He was pulled over and had a diamond bracelet in his car. It’s tied him to a home invasion that left 3 people dead. I do love getting a look into Tim’s work past and former arrests. Which ones are hang ups for him and such. She asks him if he’d like in on the interrogation?

Tim of course jumps right on it. Once he’s in the box Dez is deny deny deny about the bracelet. Saying he got it for his mother and lost the receipt. Ok buddy... Noting he was working the night the home invasion occurred. That his boss would confirm that for him. Watching Tim take charge in the interrogation is *fans self* Not to mention the bicep and forearm shots in this. Killing me softly sir.

Besides him looking fine af just sitting there I always enjoy watching him take charge in any capacity. .i.e. this moment. Why I love Metro Tim so much. It's sexy the way he walks over and commands his attention. Tries to connect with this guy. Knowing they have a past trying to use it to their advantage. Also him using words like recidivism getting me all hot and bothered. Idk why it just is LOL Anyways lets get back on track....Tim tells Dez he knows he wouldn’t have killed anyone. But they need his help to catch the people who did harm that family. They just need a name. He gives them the name of his lawyer instead. Wah wah

Seeing Lucy with Nolan it’s hard to believe they were ever matched up. Boggles the mind really. Just in how they’re approaching this situation alone. Lucy gets an ID for this kid from dispatch. His name is Leo Thomas. He's just a teenager. Nolan mentioning well adjusted kid’s don’t steal police helicopters. Lucy going on to say could just be teenager attention-seeking behavior. Trying to standout and establish their identity.

How it’s gotten so much worse with social media. She isn't wrong. I can only imagine. Its way more than when I was a teenager. Not to date myself but I only had myspace and facebook for most part and I didn't even use FB till like 2008 honestly. Oh and instagram. I think lol My point is as a millennial we didn't have the amount of platforms that are around now. It's insane. I can't imagine trying to establish an identity on them.

So Lucy saying social media having an impact on behavior is accurate. I believe that. It’s funny how John asked for Lucy to tag along and to get in the kids head. Then when she does he fights her on it a little. *eye roll* Also why am I not surprised he was a boring teenager? LMAO This doesn’t shock Lucy either. Him questioning her being a rebel. With the parents she had growing up? I have no doubt she was. You don’t know her like that John and it shows…

Nolan tries to connect with Leo now that he knows his name. John doing a big swing and a miss with him right off the bat. Trying to connect over now his family is sick with worry. Goes over like a lead ballon. He gets back on track with him though. Asking about learning to fly through video games? How impressive that is. Nolan starts to get some traction with the video game bonding. Leo begins to open up saying usually in a game how the main character survives through allies.

He asks John if he’s an ally? Lucy nodding her head fervently. Unreal how he needed to turn to Lucy for that answer. Do love her directing this whole thing though. What a downgrade from Tim eh Lucy? heh. Leo tells them they need to go on some quests first. Then they can talk about him landing this helicopter. John is skeptical to say the least.

Its why Nolan keeps biffing it with this kid. Honestly it’s a wonder he got put on this kid at all. Good thing Lucy is there to steer the ship. I love love love her being the leader on this. Look at our bad ass. Questioning his decision making skills and backing it with rock solid logic. Also sound psychology. You know the whole reason he brought her in the first place......

Nolan may have a good connection with people but he doesn’t have the logic and emotional intelligence Lucy does. John is ready to throw in the towel but Lucy isn’t. She crushes it with some damn good logic. Explaining why he should give into this kid and what he wants. It’s like he completely forgotten why he was assigned this kid in the first place. To build rapport and get him down on the ground. Good thing Lucy is there or this would be going so much worse.

He sends them on their first quest. To what looks like drug den. Saying he lost a raven haired girl he used to like from there from an OD. He couldn't save her but they can at least take down the monsters who caused her death. We find shortly after that was a lie. Since he has been home schooled for the last year. Nolan tries to get him to come down after one quest. Of course he doesn’t. It’s like John hasn’t caught on to the game here lol They ask for their next quest and he asks if they like alligators? HA

We return to Tim back at the station. He’s called in Dez’s boss to verify his ‘alibi’. At first he’s corroborating it until Tim says he’s suspected of triple murder. Tim dismantling Dez's alibi within minutes of meeting this man. I love it so much. His boss immediately amends his statement and says he paid him off. To clock him in and let him go and he did the same thing for tonight as well. Tim reports this back to Angela ASAP. That they don’t have time to wait for his lawyer. They have something far more pressing. Another target to locate. If they don’t figure out where that is more bodies are going to drop.

Lucy and Nolan are on their second quest. This part cracks me up. Dude they’re arresting is defending his alligator. Saying Cupcake is a sweetheart. Lucy’s reply cracks me up ‘Cupcake ate my taser’ LMFAO. His attachment to this creature is intense to say the least. The good thing about this second quest is there is a pattern though. Both quests have involved big drug arrests. Nolan tries to press the kid for it and nada. He continues on to tell them they’re going to have their final quest soon enough.

Tim shows up at Dez’s house mid-search. He instantly goes into sexy Sergeant mode. Asking Webb what they’re found so far? It would appear nothing at the moment. So Tim takes over the scene. I love watching him in action. So confident and sure of himself. While teaching in the process. Yum Yum. Sexy teacher Tim is in the house.

Just takes control of this search and makes it more efficient. He's so good at his job. Also he is growing as a Sergeant. Took control without fully taking control and doing it himself. He delegated his team to re-work their search pattern. Look at him go. So proud of him. Growing as a leader makes my heart happy to see.

We circle back to helicopter kid. They are slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together. The guy they just arrested works with his mom’s BF. He's a known associate of his. It would appear they have a drug distribution chain going on. That one of the dealers they sell to was arrested and had to do with quest number one.

Lucy jumps in with her POV. This is why Nolan brought her along. Love watching her flex her psych brain. That muscle innate in her as she analyzes this situation. We finally find out why Leo took the helicopter. That quest #3 is to save his mother from her drug dealer BF. The problem is they don’t have any evidence linking this guy to what they’ve found today and he only has 40 minutes of fuel left…

We jump back to the house with Tim and his team. They still haven’t found anything linking Dez to the 2-11. Tim has an epiphany and calls in a bomb sniffing dog. Explaining that they look for ingredients for a bomb or gunpowder from an illegal firearm. That's what they need to implicate Dez. I will also take Tim Bradford talking to a dog all day long. Ovary explosion for me. *fans self* The way he roasts this dog for getting distracted by a squirrel LOL I’m dying I love this man so very much.

Thor eventually finds exactly what they’re looking for. Pawing at a spot Tim is able to crack open and find the evidence they need. Look at him listening to all past advice Grey gave. Not showing up to a scene early. When he does he delegates and doesn’t take over completely. While still teaching in the process of that delegating. He would be proud. Lucy too if she could see this.

Grey is able to get Murray to flip on Brian. Using cupcake Lmao it’s hilarious. Wants to make sure she’s taken care since she ate Lucy's taser. So he rolls on his partners including Brian. All for his alligator's well being it's too damn funny. Grey is delighted that’s all it took. Nolan and Lucy are able to complete quest number 3. They have him fly over his house so he can see them arresting Bryan. Telling him it is finally time to land that helicopter. He agrees and says he’s been air sick for hours ha They arrest him once he’s landed. Lucy looks so sad about it but they really don’t have a choice in the matter.

Tim returns to Angela with the evidence they needs against Dez. He flips once Tim has hard evidence against him. Gives them every job, every crew member and what they’re going to hit tonight. They catch up to the getaway driver fairly easily. It is fun to watch this bad ass duo work together. Question him easily about the men inside and what they’re walking into. Tells them three men are inside the house not including himself.

They find out 2 of the 3 are upstairs looting. While the third is hovering over the family with a gun. Angela doesn’t want to go in hot with this third guy. Worried he’ll hurt the family in retaliation. Tim tells her then they go in a different way. A way I very much approve of. Why you ask? We get Tim Bradford in a TIGHT white t-shirt. Pretending to be a delivery guy. Mmmm just look how taut that shirt is across his muscled chest.

Sweet baby James this man is fit. Could wash clothes on those washboard abs of his. Don’t get me started on the gun show that is his biceps. Popping out of those sleeves. We also get some nice forearm action as well in these shots. Nothing for me to analyze except his beautiful form in these gifs. Imma need some ice water. This man does things to me. *ahem* Let's get back to the story at hand...

Tim knocks on the door. Angela has the getaway drivers phone. So she texts the gun happy third guy it’s just food delivery. This gets him close to the door where they want him. Once he’s close enough they push through a flash bang grenade. Taking him out pretty quickly. Then we get to watch some poetry in motion.

Tim and Angela moving like badasses to secure the house. Just a couple besties taking down criminals like it’s nothing. These are some great shots of these two. I would like more Angela/Tim shots in s6. Just add that to my s6 wishlist haha Metro and the detectives working together be fun to watch. If I can’t have Chenford I’ll take Tim/Angela moments.

We started with a crumb and we get to end with a crumb. I love Tim being the one to initiate a drink after work. He’s grown so very much makes me wanna cry. We all know it’s because of his relationship with Lucy. Our hardened grumpy Tim while still grumpy has grown a lot. Look at him not only doing post work hang but making jokes. Saying it’s all on Nolan ha! Such a nice moment. Until Grey comes over and says Cupcake broke free from animal control LOL Angela's reply is the best 'Who's Cupcake?' So very confused haha

Not a lot of Chenford but good moments and growth none the less. Next episode will be a good one for them.

~~~

Side notes- non chenford

Well this entire episode was that haha I did enjoy Harper’s SL with Aaron and him trying to get that man justice. His reason why behind it and all as well. He develops very nicely as a character. I do love having him around a lot.

[tyto-ghost]

Hello world! Let me present to you one of my pitches for an animated series (college thesis) About a private investigator hunting anomalies, but in reverse! (sort of)

This takes place in your regular mundane Earth with wacky creatures inhabiting it, and of course, CIA agents taking care of them before causing any ruckus to the human world.

This series follows our main guy, Caesar Raymond Thompson, a living sentient TV static amalgam who decided to leave his "shell" to pursue his dream job, a cool detective guy like his favorite shows (that he uh..broadcasts himself??). However even if Caesar is incredibly naive to the current situation, his idea to solve the "anomaly kidnapping by the government" problem is to open a new secret radio channel about helping various clients with their troubles via interviewing anomalies in hopes that they can sort things out and not call the cops.

All of this while *trying* to keep a low profile so he doesn't get pulverized by the government either.

Caesar is, to put it shortly, an incredibly charming but insanely naive guy. He's cheery, he's very gullible, has no idea how to properly wear a jacket, you have to manually turn down his volume with a remote otherwise he won't stop shouting like a reporter, his only sense of reality comes from TV shows themselves. Caesar is the type of person that is constantly trying to appeal in order for others to like him with little consideration of himself.

As already stated, he is literally just TV static, but he's more than just a cutout of a conventionally looking detective man. He's kinda like a slime (not a blob, we are getting to those waaay more later on a future post). He can mold himself to any shape and change how solid or meltier his body can be. However he can't stay out of his TV shell without proper rest for more than 24hs otherwise he will start to fall apart.

You can also control parts of his body (mute him, change a channel, even temporarily kill him by turning him off!) if you ever get to hold his own remote (PLEASE be gentle with him).

But every silly personal investigator in his 30s needs a middle aged (radio) man to partake (and publicly broadcast) his wacky endeavors, of course

Rodrigo is your average man (erm personality wise), nothing too eccentric, likes to chill while playing old songs (he even has access to music most people consider lost media!), Not very tuned to the modern world. He has to constantly put Caesar back to reality any time he gets into antics, but is too kind to yell or be rude. Rodri is pretty much a very tired man, but he really appreciates his buddy-partner.

He's a bit strange to explain, most people consider him an animated object (him being the radio) but he's a little bit more complex, you see, Rodrigo is technically the voice of an announcer living inside a radio, a (somewhat) human conscience with no physical body that travels through a radio signal. The radio is nothing more than his "house".

Unlike Caesar who is simply static and has no channel of his own, Rodrigo "rests" on his own hidden radio channel, basically an empty space where he talks with no one far away listening, however he isn't unreachable, by performing a few silly tricks with your own radio trims and buttons (or calling a mysterious number) you might have access to his broadcast.

Rodrigo is mostly blind, he has no eyes after all, but, he can kinda"see" sometimes if the objects in the room are moving and making noise, otherwise he only sees static.

Well! that's it for now! More worldbuilding and info about these goofballs will eventually come out (aprox) next month! (this story is also bound to change due to it being a college project). Follow me to keep up with my funny guys, in the meantime...

[toastandjamie]

Me: I would love a post canon buddy cop story with Mat and Perrin- they’re so funny together and didn’t have enough page time together.

Brain: turn Mat into a wolf so they have to only communicate through wolf telepathy

Me: why would I do that

Brain: because it’s funny and would turn the entire event into a political situation

Me: …. Good point

[adventures-in-teyvat]

You know what would be funny duo. Cyno n Heizou. Because they are straight up, buddy cop duo.

Heizou is funny rule breaker, comedic relief. Cyno is by the book, serious thought guy.

Heizou would constantly die of cringe when Cyno makes his dry as sand jokes. Cyno would be so done with Hei’s constant flirting. If its a police modern au. There be like constant thought, are they friends or just hate each other.

Honestly it be funny to see their debate about law.

YOU GIVE THE MOST BASED TAKES IVE EVER SEEN thank you for your immaculate contributions to my blog i love you so much

what’s so incredible about this is that they are both silly guys, but they are silly guys of different flavor.

heizou is full of sarcasm, wit, subtle flirtations, teasing, etc; and then on the other side of the spectrum we have cyno, whose whole schtick is being so unfunny that it’s endearing. his humor is such a slap in the face that sometimes it actually ends up being funny. and it makes it even better that their styles of humor are the exact opposite of their styles of enforcing law.

heizou is pretty tolerant of most things—i think it takes a lot to get under his skin. and i feel like the one thing that gets under his skin the easiest is incompetence, or what he perceives as incompetence. since his humor is so witty, and he very much enjoys mind games, i feel like he’d find cyno’s slapstick style to be somewhat annoying, which is hilarious. he wouldn’t see it as incompetence, necessarily, because he knows the general is intelligent and perfectly capable, but the simple style of the humor and the way cyno delivers it puts “annoying” in the same category as incompetence.

usually heizou is the annoying one—in literally any situation, he is always the annoying one—but here, he’s put in the position of being so flabbergasted at cyno’s attempt at a joke that he is left grasping for something to say. but he cannot. cyno’s jokes invoke brainrot.

and the reason i think it could go this way but not vice versa is because cyno is quite literally unbothered. any attempt heizou makes at one-upping him or getting him to stop with the puns fails horribly, because cyno just really doesn’t care. there is not anyone more unbothered. he’s just doing his own thing. and i feel like that would end up getting to heizou in the end, because he’s so used to getting to others. he thinks so much and analyzes everything; his style of humor is creative and intricate; so in the end it’s terribly ironic that the one thing getting to him would be someone whose idea of humor is the most dry delivery of puns.

now on the other hand, with their styles of law enforcement, it would be the exact opposite.

heizou’s freeform attitude would bother cyno to the point of actual, visible emotion. which is rare for him! he just really, really likes structure, and rules are very important to him. the idea that someone else in his occupation would find it so easy—fun, even—to color outside the lines is completely beyond the general mahamatra.

cyno: there are rules for a reason.

heizou: but what if the law isnt always what’s right :3

cyno: then change the law.

heizou: but it’s not that easy :3

etc etc etc

hehehe they would be a very amusing pair of friends—i think that under their slight disdain for each others’ differences there would be a very clear foundation of respect <33

[siremasterlawrence]

The Handler’s Red Carpet Express Part 7 & 8

Casting for a new buddy cop Apple Plus TV show called Ghost Spy’s sitting in the major casting room at television studio want I am expecting is so much better Chris Pine and Chris Messina in the waiting the room.I flip on the camera setting up the room all is perfectly set up as I call Chris into the room for the time being as he enters my cock is coming to life springing forward under the desk.

Quite a unique looking face he has I must admit to myself but still fucking handsome and he is about to me be mine I state all to myself very hyper excited at his newest role in cinema.The lights flicker on lowly as he sits down the door slamming closed he slates for the camera then we begin to read lines as the circular light system around the camera turns on burning brightly it edges deep into his mind.

Everything comes to a slow stuttering crawl as he stumbles over his words his eyes grow heavy, his mind is in a deep sea of hazy fog and I watch him falling ever deeper into my power.He has no idea what is happening nor cane he even attempt to resist if he wanted to simply because I will him to be at my mercy for life and he is fully committed to serve me for life.

Pine has no more ideas left in the pretty boi face of his except to stare mindlessly with a stupefied look on his the spit trickling down his chin soon he is all that ever existed in his mind.I am the center of his life now as he builds so many monuments of me in his head one at a time he falls for me a expression of love over comes him and he soon is everything I ever want.

Getting up I push my chair back to rise to my feet as I stood up staring him down in a hot, heavy and lustful display of pleasure launched me over the table on to his lap and we make out. His hands rove throughout my body touching every part of his body in a scandalous wave of energy overcomes us both in a shill of power his lips touch my skin all hot and bothered.

“Mr. Messina please come in.” I say exiting the room as he smirks walking in.

“Please sit.” I instruct not even looking at him.

“Please focus on the camera.” I state

“May I start?”

“Yes commence”

“Oh wait! Must the lights be so strong”

“I can’t think”

“I am confused “

“Why am I here?”

“Hahaha”

“What’s so funny?”

“You are hilarious “

“Wait what?”

“Continue to take a gander “

“You will admit it”

“You own me”

“Mmmm”

“You love the sound of my voice “

“You are rock hard”

“Mmmmnnnn”

“Fuck…you own me”

Grant Gustin is up for a second pilot go a up and coming new show I have commissioned for Amazon where he would play a hot shot attorney having a torrid affair with a young male assistant attorney. The studio is awash in a bright gold lights of the entire room showcasing everything as he walks in with such power, confident and presence to control the situation he is so instantly struck.

The moment he saw it his world spun intoa fit of crazy babble in a world wind of air to his lungs he takes a deep breath inhalinga sweet intoxicating taste like he has never smelt before. His body is hot falling backwards onto his back his mind melts away at everything he has ever felt loosing himself in a pure unsafe feeling of love and desire for me and only me.

“Grant please slate”

“I am Grant Gustin”

“Good boi”

“Please read this “

“I am here to submit and obey “

“I submit “

“I succumb to your will”

“I am at your mercy “

“Do as you wish and please “

“Ravish me in your will”

“That’s it truly feel it”

“You are intoxicated with love”

“I am obsessed “

“Intoxicated “

���Oh God! You make rock hard”

“How do you feel about me?l

“I love you “

“Absolutely correct “

“What do you expect Charlie Hunnam? Come in now.” I say swinging the door open in excitement because I know he is loves it madly in love with me soon enough he will follow me like Grant. “Please slate for me Charlie.” I command him as he sits down he stares down with a smile he sits up flipping his hair up with a cute wink and he says his name in a sexy, heavy and gruff.

“My name is Charlie Hunnam”

“Good boi”

“I ain’t a boi ”

“Yes you are”

“I don’t have to stand for this”

“Sit down”

“Baby”

“Cut it out “

“I love you “

“Get off me”

“Stare in to the light “

“Give in”

“I can’t stop “

“Why can’t I think?”

“I can’t move”

“Spread your legs”

“Take off your pants”

“Rise up “

“Remove your clothes”

Chris Wood and Jessie Metcalf waltz into the auditorium for the audition but soon the power of the lights, the heat of night and so much more consume them they are lost to my power as well.

The end

[moistvonlipwig]

3, 12, 18, and 19 for teen wolf (no worries if you want to pass on any of them)?

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

oh see now this question is impossible because teen wolf fandom is capable of producing bad takes that other fandoms can only dream of. "scott helping align a dog's broken leg in his capacity as an assistant vet tech is animal abuse." "stalia is problematic because malia is 45 in coyote years." "scott violated/raped derek" (re: a scene in which scott is forced under duress to make derek bite gerard, which derek only objected to because he did not know about scott's secret plan). "stiles is the only one who ever respected derek." "scott has been narrating the entire show to make himself look better." "deaton is shady and evil." "scott abused jackson" (a real thing someone sent to my inbox). even jeff davis got in on it with "kira's story didn't have anything left to explore." however despite stiff competition i do think we have to give this award to "scott is a werewolf colonizer" because there is something so special about accusing a mexican boy of colonizing the culture of white people who are living in california. and also because it is so so funny to say.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

hm. i don't know if i like any characters who are unpopular within the fandom circles i travel in. like certainly scott is unpopular with the fandom at large, we know this, but i don't travel in those circles so. idk. i guess i think victoria argent is interesting? imo after allison she's the most compelling argent. i think killing yourself rather than becoming a werewolf shows a kind of commitment to one's ideology that automatically makes a character interesting. i don't know what the popular opinion on victoria argent is but that's my take.

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

see again i could point to fandom at large for this but frankly fandom at large sleeps on anything that isn't sterek or steter so i could say anything and it would be true. so my actual answer is that i think more people should ship theo/mason. i get why sceo is popular but i don't know why thiam is so big when...thason? meo? (personally i am voting for meo as a ship name because it looks like meow. however i am willing to be overruled.)...is right there. one of my actual most unpopular opinions is idgaf about morey because i couldn't care less about corey. i don't even know that boy's last name. he's nothing to me. but theo/mason??? both of them experimented on by the dread doctors, one of them 'evil' and the other 'good' (too 'good' to be traumatized, if you ask jeff davis, which is why you should never ask jeff davis), one of them so compassionate and caring, the other callous and lacking empathy, on opposite sides of the fight, yet both bound by the same trauma, and both deep inside wanting to help? look i'm not a big m/m shipper so i'm not gonna write the fic but SOMEONE should write the fic. is what i'm saying.

19. you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

disclaimer i am not ashamed of liking anything because, to paraphrase the great cordelia chase, shame is not something to be proud of. however i am a little mad that stiles and derek genuinely have such a fun relationship. i do actually wish they had more scenes together and i would happily watch an entire episode that was just the two of them on a buddy cop roadtrip and if people wrote more platonic fic of them with their canon personalities being forced into Situations together then i Would read it. i don't ship them because it's not my cup of tea shipping-wise and i think fanon sterek is nothing like canon sterek and is deeply uninteresting but in the year 2024 i must confess that canon stiles & derek did make some points.

[sarndonic]

My ramblings on RE: Death Island

Y'all RE: Death Island opened in PH cinemas today and here are my thoughts on some of the scenes. Leaks have been going around on TW since this morning, so I'm dividing my ramblings into four sections.

WARNING: HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD

Can confirm:

-Definitely Jill's time to shine. Everyone was like..."If there's Jill, there's hope..."

-She even has a big ass plasma rifle scene (probably a tribute to re3r)

-Movie more or less confirms that Jill has met Leon and Claire before. Their first scenes with Jill were like "hey, how's it going?" situations.

-Chris and Claire sibling interactions! We haven't been blessed with those since Code Veronica, nice.

Want to clear out:

-Pertaining to an early leak which caused quite a ruckus on TW: Maria was climbing over Leon like a koala to a tree during their fight scenes, but never once did he flirt with her or anyone else for that matter. He even called Maria "Arias' bitch" who could finally be with her Dad again after she died by Leon's hands. Kinda brutal coming from Leon if you ask me.

-This Leon came in with a luggage-ful of cringey but kinda funny one-liners. He reminds me of Damnation!Leon and I didn't sense any undertones of depression in him! Though he still hates his job (he refers to it as just a "living"), Leon seems to be in a much better place this time around. This scene literally happened:

Leon blurts out a one liner

Jill musters up an Oscar-worthy "Ugh...really?" reaction

Jill, probably:

Want to add:

-Movie was about how people respond to trauma differently. Dylan practically experienced the same sh*t as the main cast in RC, but he had chosen to side with the villains.

-Really nice to see this new model of Leon in action, doing re4r-esque stunts. That was kinda missing in ID, tbh. Also Leon and bikes look hot together, but can never be good news.

-Other character relationships in a nutshell, for those who are interested.

Jill and Leon -> This was definitely their buddy cop movie. I know people like to bully Leon for being "dumb" or for whatever reason, but Jill clearly respects his skills the same way Leon respects hers.

Jill and Chris -> Movie makes it clear that Chris absolutely cares about Jill. You can interpret it as both platonic and romantic (not very much so on the latter, though). I love Chris' "Welcome back!" line to Jill in the end and their little fist bump.

Chris and Leon -> I'd say they're like old co-workers who definitely know how to defeat BOWs. That's about it. They are mostly in action scenes together, with very little dialogue.

Rebecca and Claire -> Had great moments of nerdiness together (I mean that in an affectionate way), but very few action scenes compared to the other 3 mains. 

Can't say much about the other character combos, tbh. There was no mention of the ID conflict bet Leon and Claire. They have very little interactions in the film, probably less than a min. of dialogue? Just Leon saying Claire's name when they saw each other for the first time in the film (not even sure if that was Chris or him even), and then a scene where he ordered her and Rebecca to go mess around with the computers (ala ID).

-That character with a special mention in the early leaks -> It was Chris talking about Piers from re6. Unfortunately, there were no surprise appearances from other fan-fave characters. 

-The ending was your classic "heroes staring into the sunset after one hella fight" cliche, but t'was nice nonetheless haha

Overall:

It's everything you expect from a Resident Evil movie. Campy and with a weak plot, but gets redeemed by featuring a sh*t ton of welcome fan service (both good and bad). I like it better than Vendetta. 

Supposedly a 10/10, but that licker scene was a disservice to Jill, so 9/10.