#and buck gets his big romantic gesture - the friend asking his friend (he's in love with) to Stay - and at first buck is just

[buckevantommy]

when they bring tommy back for eventual bucktommy endgame, i would love to see them be friends for a while first.

it's been a year or so and they cross paths on a call or something. buck has dated a few people, maybe someone semi-serious, none of them stuck. or maybe he's currently dating someone. but so is tommy. buck voices how much he misses just spending time with him and floats the idea of them being friends. tommy is hesitant but ultimately that's what happens: tentative at first, but they become friends.

and in being friends, they get to know each other better than if they were dating. even though tommy knew buck pretty well already, with friendship he lets himself be known better, not so afraid of being imperfect or less than or broken or not enough; he's still self conscious about it, doesn't want to be a burden, but there's no fear of getting his heart broken by evan leaving him, and no guilt of breaking evan's heart, so it's mostly just him wanting to be a good friend so he tries to hide his shit for a bit and not hang out for a week when he's having a rough time.

except: buck notices he's having a rough time and isn't interested in only spending time with tommy when he's happy - he wants to be there for his friend! he wants to help and comfort like he does with all his friends. buck discovers that either tommy pushed his boyfriend away (for now), maybe lied to him so the guy is clueless about how tommy is really doing, or he simply broke things off because tommy is 'too much'. in any case, buck would be livid because 1) this guy doesn't deserve tommy and 2) tommy is hiding himself away during a bad time and that's not okay, buck can't let him isolate himself and think that if he's not perfect he's not wanted therefore no one wants to deal with him.

buck shows up at his house, or maybe finds tommy at a campsite or something. tommy looks rough - it's been an emotionally trying time with family issues or ptsd or a rough work call. in any case: buck gets it, and he's not going to let tommy go through this alone. friends don't abandon each other in their time of need, and no matter how tommy tries to push him away, buck is staying.

buck says all this, earnest and caring and desperate to help, and eventually tommy cracks. he gives in to the need for connection, lets evan in, lets him stay, lets himself be comforted through hugs and letting evan see him breakdown and cry.

and it's not the end of the world. it's actually the start of a new chapter: it marks a turning point in their friendship where tommy is more open about things (with evan, and maybe howie) and buck gets to know him better.

there might be another partner or two for each of them going forward, but their friendship strengthens and inevitably leads them back to love, eventually getting back together and knowing they're both seen and loved in all their dark and ugly beauty.

[luminouslywriting]

Band of brothers headcannon ,somehow somebody told them u were cheating on them and they get super angry or depressed but then they discover it's not true, in a way or another.

An angsty request? Nonny, I'm not sure if you know this, but I live in angst and pain and prefer writing this sort of stuff haha! So keep sending in the angsty headcanon requests, because I'm SO down! Requests are open!

Cut for length, light spice in some, angst under the cut, picking on Webster at least once for no reason haha:

Dick Winters:

-It's not necessarily that someone told him that you were cheating as much as it was implied through subtext and he does NOT deal well with that at all.

-But he's not super vocal about it??? Like, he's the type of man who would rather just talk to you about things than let rumors lie in wait and spiral.

-It doesn't stop him from worrying about if he's done something wrong to push you away until you're able to finally talk.

-And when you do talk, there's this massive relief that you were just getting another job and talking with a superior about it—nothing malicious or mean of the sort.

-Please just reassure this man that he's the love of your life. He's a fairly secure man, but this was rough emotionally and he never accused you of anything but that doesn't mean that he wasn't worried for a second there.

-It definitely becomes a laughing point in your relationship later on.

Lewis Nixon:

-Listen, this man has NOT had good luck when it comes to women or relationships in his lifetime. So when you're a little busier than normal and out longer than normal, he can't help but spiral.

-He takes these fears to some of his friends (not Winters though, because that man would tell him to screw his head on straight haha), and they somehow get it in his head that you're cheating on him

-Cue the downward spiral of drinking and being depresso-expresso yet again

-So when you come home and you've been working extra hours to get a surprise for him—because all you wanted to do was afford a dog on your own wages rather than Lew's money—and he's all emotional and upset—it's a rough situation

-Arguments are had and feelings are hurt. So when he sobers up and realizes that you were just trying to do something sweet for him, he's hurrying to apologize in a big grand romantic gesture sort of a way.

-Moral of the story? Don't surprise him, he'll assume something else is going on or start some sort of conspiracy theory about it haha

Ronald Speirs:

-Someone starts the rumors maliciously because they had a crush/feelings for you and it gets around pretty quickly....and the thing about the entire situation is that he's unfazed? -Like this is the man who people-watches and reads people really well. He's fairly certain that he'd know if you were cheating on him lol.

-That being said, when the rumors finally make their way over to YOU, you shut them down and go to talk to him.

-He's really patient and sweet about the entire thing—because of course he knows you weren't cheating on him, but you're apologizing because of the rumors and he's just wanting to be there for you because that's a rough reputation to have going around tbh.

-Speirs is so secure in the relationship and the way that you feel about him. If not for the declaration of love, then certainly for the way that you are screaming his name later that evening lol.

-Also definitely finds the root of the rumor and uses intimidation to make them back off—no more problems like that for you two ever again.

Buck Compton:

-He's shocked and baffled as to what he's hearing and he's going through everything in his mind trying to figure out where he went wrong. Has he upset you? Were you two not close? What happened anyway?

-He gets real quiet about things when he sees you next because he's trying to figure out how to express what he's feeling.

-And there's definitely some distance on his part and so when he finally comes to you and just asks about the entire thing, YOU'RE just as baffled as he is.

-So reassure him, give him cuddles, attention, verbal affirmation that he's the only man for you, and he'll be secure in no time at all

-But also, realize that it's now going to be a lingering fear of his that you'll leave him for someone else. So be on watch and on guard for any feelings like that re-emerging over time.

-Communication and showing love is going to be big in patching things up.

Carwood Lipton:

-Heart shattered and in disbelief the minute that he sees you hugging another man that he does not recognize.

-He doesn't necessarily want to confront you and have a nasty argument about it, but his jealousy is certainly spiking quite a bit. This leads to him pulling away from the relationship.

-And then the minute that you introduce him to your cousin who has been fighting down in the Pacific for the past few years?? It all clicks into place and he suddenly feels very silly.

-Shamefully admits this to you later when it's just you two alone. And he feels really bad that he even doubted your feelings and intentions.

-But tell him that he's the one, demand that he give you a family—all will be solved by morning haha

-It becomes a running joke in your family for years to come.

Joseph Liebgott:

-JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS—he knows that you have lots of guy friends and that you get along well with HIS friends. But let's be honest, it's probably Webster who suggests that maybe you're a little TOO close to some of his friends.

-And so the ugly side of his jealousy rears it's head and he's getting all possessive and kind of controlling in some ways

-Confronting him is going to be the simplest and easiest route to handle this entire situation

-It's going to be a few arguments later that he realizes that he's really messed up by accusing you of sleeping with one of his friends. But he does come to you and genuinely apologize for his words.

-Yes, this is something you and said friend are going to hold over his head for the rest of your relationship lol.

-And yes, Webster may have gotten punched by you for planting the idea in sweet Joe's head.

Donald Malarkey:

-Listen, this man pays no mind to rumors. But when the rumors involve you and another man? He tends to pay attention. He doesn't believe what he's hearing at all.

-Definitely runs to talk to you immediately about the rumors and isn't sure what to make of your reaction—shocked, of course.

-Your reassurances calm him down and a cuddle session immediately will help him feel much better

-He's definitely going to bring you flowers the next time that he sees you out of guilt lol

-Tries to be more confident in the relationship after that because you promised him that he's the only man for you

-Also attempts to quell rumors with his friends because he's fiercely defensive over you and your honor.

Eugene Roe:

-Soft man here is in love with you to the point of self-destruction, okay?? So when he comes to see you in the medic tent and finds another man kissing you, he's immediately hurt and heart is shattered.

-What he doesn't know is that that was a patient who just kissed you and you had to literally slap the man to get him off of you. So Gene here is in his feels and upset about things.

-When you come to see him and he doesn't really want to talk, you're so confused and he gets really emotional about the entire thing. It's a whole messy argument of you trying to explain what happened.

-And then of course after he's had some time to process the entire thing, he feels just awful for not listening to you or understanding the situation

-He comes to you with a really sincere and soft apology, possibly some chocolate in hand to help his case, and tells you how much you mean to him

-Is it the first time he admits that he loves you? Absolutely. And this certainly leads to the best makeout session of your life haha.

Bill Guarnere:

-Throws hands the minute that someone tells him you're cheating on him. He doesn't believe the rumors for one freakin' minute.

-So when you have to patch him up after some injuries and you're demanding to know why and he angrily explains that it's about you, it's a whole mess.

-You're sitting there trying to explain that you would NEVER, and he KNOWS that so he's just mad that someone would spread the rumors anyway

-This just leads to the two of you being more annoying with PDA haha

-And having a really noisy session of sex where you're both just being so vocal about your love for one another

-Yes, everyone knows that this just strengthened your relationship.

Joe Toye:

-He hears it around the guys in the base—the thing is?? It's an old rumor about some guy that you had kissed BEFORE you were with Joe.

-He gets real quiet and sullen about the entire thing, almost a pouty behavior that leaves you with your head spinning because where is all of THIS behavior coming from??

-It takes a few days of this behavior before he's ready to talk about it and then you're attempting to explain that it's an old flame and that your feelings are solely for Joe now

-In fact, seducing him might just be the move because then he's super smug about the entire thing.

-He might even go and talk to the ex to see if HE has any feelings for you left. And yes, some intimidation might be in order to get him to leave the rumors alone because you and Joe are together now.

-You warn him not to act all pouty like that again though—it was NOT it for you two haha

George Luz:

-Bamboozled, shocked, dismayed, all five stages of grief—but mostly in disbelief

-He's immediately going to shade the hell out of whoever was spreading the rumor even BEFORE he goes to talk to you about the entire thing

-Super down on himself and joking about how he's messed up the entire relationship because clearly you're cheating—and GIRL, you better shut that down NOW

-Please just give him a grand gesture of love yourself and shade him a little bit for even thinking like that??

-Honestly, if you say you're down for marriage, problem solved and this man will never bring it up again—except for maybe in the speeches at the wedding lol

-Is convinced you're even more beautiful when you're shading him for being stupid and believing rumors haha

[mazzystar24]

Okay this might be kinda a long ask but BEAR WITH ME!!!

Okay so 7x07 is titled “Ghost of a Second Chance”

Buck’s big gesture at the end of 7x05 was asking Tommy for a second chance.

I have seen some speculation that we are going to have some sort of major vehicle accident at some point this season based on bts photos and makeup trailer photos— so i have a working theory starting from the Madney wedding onto the end of the season.

Okay so 7x06: We will see Chimney’s bachelor party- personally im a big fan of the accidental marriage trope in fanfiction, but im trying to be realistic here. My theory is that when Buck and Eddie get plastered, Eddie starts to look at him weird, but is like “nahh no, that’s my best friend. he’s with tommy. he’s a guy. but im looking respectfully 👀👀.” They wake up the next day, and Chim is gone. They all immediately launch into “we gotta find him mode” and eddie stick with buck for most of the episode. As it goes on, Eddie starts thinking about all of his little thoughts about Buck from the night before and he keeps trying to explain them away in his mind- but his brain keeps popping back to the marisol of it all and he’s like “but what does it all mean??” anyway, they get chimney back, and things go well, but then the Buckley’s find out that evan is dating a man. They say some not-nice things (as they do everytime they’re around their son) and it’s not maddie who sticks up for buck, it’s not tommy, it’s not bobby or athena or hen or anyone because they’re all off having a grand old time— no, it’s Eddie. Eddie who will not even think about hearing anyone speak ill of Buck. He tells them about how wonderful snd deserving of love their son is and that if that’s from a man so be it as long as he’s happy— cue eddie’s epiphany as he mulls over his own words, glances up to the dance floor, and he sees buck dancing with tommy. But in that moment he sees buck. It suddenly clicks, and he realizes that he is screwed.

Now we have 7x07: Eddie is struggling to come to terms with what he has realized at the wedding. He’s shooketh ™️ and scared out of his mind over the fact that his best friend- who literally just came out to him- may be the person he’s been waiting for to settle down with. the other parentsl figure for Chris. someone Chris would want around. someone Eddie would want around. He spirals as he and Marisol begin to completely fall apart. At some point, they get a call- a helicopter crash. There is an immediate sinking feeling from everyone. They get to the scene and Bobby gives out instructions- Eddie and Buck make their way to the crash site, Buck terrified of what might be waiting for them. Eddie sees Tommy first- still alive but hanging on by a thread. This is where we get a delicious parallel to Shannon’s death. Eddie immediately is on the defensive, trying to keep Buck from seeing, but Buck is distraught. They get Tommy out and into an ambulance, but he’s been watching this whole time- he sees how Eddie so ferociously tried to protect Buck, and he realizes. As Tommy and Buck are in the back of the ambulance. Tommy tells Buck that he will move on, and maybe say something along the lines of “you don’t find it, you make it” (👀👀👀) and that Buck has Eddie. And THAT is when it clicks for Buck. Buck realizes as the first man he ever consciously considered in a romantic light dies in front of him, that what he has been looking for, he already has because he’s built it with Eddie (“you never know what you need until a light is shined on it” - oliver stark). But it can’t be because eddie is straight right? right??

Then from 7x08-7x10: we get the two of them dancing around each other. we get avoidance, we get longing glances missed by both of them. we see eddie have a multi-episode arc where he fully comes to terms with what he’s feeling, and he gets an emotional scene with Chris about Chris loving his Buck, and how Buck is kind of like his second dad since he doesn’t have Shannon as his mom anymore. On Buck’s end, we get a Buckley sibling moment where Maddie tells Buck that she’s always thought he had a thing for Eddie, but that she thought he needed to discover that himself. Buck is conflicted over telling Eddie because he just got what he wanted, even if it’s just in his head, he doesn’t want to lose it, especially not after just losing tommy. He is going to ignore it, but then we get another Loft Scene ™️. Eddie tells Buck that he is tired if avoiding Buck, and that he can’t lose someone else. He tells Buck that he knows Buck doesn’t feel the same, but that he would much rather be Buck’s best friend and have that be all he can be, than to not have him because he was too scared and pushed Buck away. He tells Buck that he’s Chris’s second dad, and that neither he or Chris can lose him, and Buck finally feels so wanted by his family- the family he made with Eddie. And he tells Eddie he loves him too. Then we get Eddie stepping in close, asking if Buck is okay with him kissing him before (something that has never happened for Buck, even with Tommy) and Buck tells him yes, and season 7 closes with them kissing in the same spot in Buck’s kitchen where all those years ago, Eddie told him there was no one her trusted his son with more than Buck.

Cue Season 8 finally bringing us the domestic fluff and tooth-rotting romance that we desperately need from the two of them and have been waiting for for SO long. Plus a few stumbles, maybe some doubts along the way, but nothing that can’t be fixed without some good ol’ “i love you to the core”

and you know what, because im feeling nice after my little spec sesh, when they go visit shannon’s grave to place flowers, they visit tommy’s too because he is who brought them together in the end.

I fully recognize how delulu i probably sound, but at the same time @ Tim Minear and ABC, i will be awaiting my writer’s credit on IMDb, and my check in the mail, thanks. 🙏

(also again SO sorry for the long ask I just needed to put this out in your orbit)

💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥

Take my money like a lot of this I’d definitely love to read a fanfic of🫡🫡

I think the only part I personally don’t LOVE is the Tommy dying bit, like that’s just down to personal preference tbh because I love a more amicable breakup and they all are friends now type of thing ( most of greys anatomy couples style)

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞 i feel like Buck is just chomping at the bit to share his kid with Eddie, like “let me give you my child which is my heart, I know you will take good care of it even if you doubt yourself” vibes. He wants to coparent soooooooooo badly I know he does

He SO is!!!

153 or 1k words for 🪞 - whatever comes first!

---

The thing is, once the refusing to ask for things stops, the lying slowly creeps in. It’s not a lot. It’s not even that bad. It’s just… An occasional issue. Sometimes she’ll lie and say she brushed her teeth, when she clearly didn’t. Sometimes it’s flushing the toilet. Apparently it’s happened a few times at school, in regards to completing schoolwork. Again, never enough to be a huge issue. Just enough for Buck to be concerned. 

The problem is, when Buck calls her on it, and tries to address it, she totally shuts down. Silent. Unresponsive. Tight-jawed and angry-stared. Her eyes like two little tempests. It’s bewildering. So different than the kind, gentle little girl he knows.

He asks everyone for advice, of course. He gets a lot of different opinions.

“She needs to be told why lying is wrong,” Maddie suggests. “Who knows what kind of values she’s had passed onto her? She’s a good kid, but you don’t know what gaps she might have. Work with her.”

“Foster kids go through a lot in the system,” Hen explains. “This might be a pressure point you don’t even know about. Something from her past.”

“Kids don’t often act out due to a desire to be bad,” Bobby says. “Usually it’s a sign something else is going on.”

“Chris started lying to test boundaries, I think,” Eddie admits. “Sneaking off with his friends while I thought he was at science club. I don’t know what Dove would be trying to test, but that’s my guess.”

Buck suspects there’s truth in all of it. He just has no idea what to do about it. Beyond potentially talking to Angie. Except, he doesn’t want to seem like he’s having issues. So, Buck is sort of lost. 

Until one day, he fixes it by accident. 

It’s a rare day where it’s just the two of them. No Eddie. No plans to see anyone else. They went to a pumpkin patch. Picked out a few pumpkins they’ll carve with Eddie soon. Buck found himself taking a silly amount of photos of her without really realizing what he was doing. Like he wanted to freeze the moment forever. Maybe he does. 

He puts her to bed that evening with a story. Usually they read together, so she can work on her confidence reading out loud. But Dove is sleepy from running around the pumpkin patch like a little maniac, so Buck cuts her a break and does the reading himself. 

By the end of it, he’s on autopilot. She’s sleepy and cozy, snuggled into bed with Chomp hugged to her chest. They’ve had such a good day and he’s so happy. He doesn’t really think of anything but that. How perfect the day was, how glad he is that she’s in his life, how badly he wants to keep her here. 

As the story ends, her eyes are fluttering shut. He closes the book, brushes a stray wisp of hair from her face, and leans to kiss the top of her head.

“Sweet dreams, Dove,” he says quietly. “Love you.”

It doesn’t actually occur to him that it’s the first time he’s said it. 

It’s certainly not the first time he’s felt it. Or been aware that he’s feeling it. He thought declaring it might be some sort of momentous gesture. Like in a romantic relationship. It all seems big and cinematic almost. But this? This just sort of seeped into him. Made itself known gently. Comfortably. And now he’s said it without thought or circumstance; it just slipped out because he meant it. 

He loves this little girl. He loves her so much. 

Because she’s half asleep, he doesn’t expect any sort of reaction from her. He stands and moves to turn off the light, when she catches him off guard by sitting bolt right up in bed. He nearly startles. 

The look on her face is unreadable. Partly because her eyes are wide with an expression Buck hasn’t seen before. Partly because the stuffed crocodile has been raised to cover her mouth. 

“Dove?” He asks, moving his hand away from the lightswitch. “What’s wrong?”

“What did you say?” She asks. Her voice is shaky but careful. 

Oh. Fuck. Did he upset her? Should he not have said that? Did he go too far too soon? He thought… Well, he wasn’t thinking. 

“I said that I hope you have sweet dreams,” Buck says gently. “And I love you.”

Her cheeks go bright red. Her eyes get a little wet. 

“Is that okay, Dove?” Buck asks. “You can tell me if it’s not. I won’t get mad.”

Slowly, she lowers the stuffed animal from her face.

“Are you sure?” She asks.

“Am I sure I won’t get mad? Yes. I promise.”

“No,” she shakes her head. “Not that.”

Oh. Is he sure that he loves her? That’s what she’s asking. 

“Of course I’m sure,” Buck says. “I do love you.”

Her bottom lip trembles a little. Like she’s a second away from bursting into tears. 

For a second, he doesn’t understand why this is so upsetting to her. It’s supposed to be a good thing. It’s nice to hear that someone loves you! And then the thought occurs to him. Heavy and cold in his chest. 

Buck sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Dove, has anyone ever told you that before?” He asks. “Has someone ever said I love you?” 

She shakes her head mutely. 

Buck feels like someone has punched him in the stomach. 

“Oh,” he whispers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”

She shrugs. 

“Do you know, there were a lot of years where no one said it to me, either?” He tells her.

When Maddie moved away. When Buck left Hershey. Really, until Maddie came back. He knows what it feels like to suspect no one loves you. 

“Really?” She sniffs. 

“Mhm,” he nods. “It made me pretty sad. So I understand.”

[bidisasterevankinard]

7 and 11 for vegas fic <3

Ask me about my wips (but specify please)

11. What scene are you most hyped for this chapter/fic?

All their vegas scenes I still need to write because they are going to be so cute and romantic, but also you know to idiots who's pining so obviously. And I actually hyped about love confession scene after waking up with hangover and rings

7. What is your favorite scene you’ve written so far?(cause it's so cute and romantic)

“Will you finally tell me where we are going?”Buck asks and looks at Eddie who drives them through Vegas streets, looking so angelic in the rays of the summer sun pouring on them from the windshield of the car. He smiles and sings along to the song on the radio, and Buck enjoys the sight of the little wrinkles around his eyes, which are hidden by Eddie's favorite pair of sunglasses. Eddie looks free and happy, and a little cocky, because he's up to something and didn't tell Buck about his plans. Buck maybe pouts a little, but Eddie can’t see it so no big deal.

“Don’t pout, Buck,” Eddie doesn't remove his gaze from the road in front of him. “I promise you will love it. I’m just surprised you hadn't chosen it yourself for us and left this day free from anything, so I googled something you will love,” Eddie’s smile gets bigger and Buck melts. He wants it so hard to be a date. Eddie takes him somewhere to surprise him, they spend time together and then kiss. Big romantic gestures are their common weak point. But it’s not the date, but maybe in the future Buck will be brave enough to ask Eddie, brave enough to confess to Eddie that his heart belongs to him and Chris forever, but not today. Now he will appreciate a pleasant time with his best friend.

“We are here. Wait inside the car,” Eddie quickly gets out of the car and opens the door, giving him a hand.

Buck accepts his hand but looks at him in confusion and tilts his head slightly to the side, looking at Eddie, who is already gently pulling him inside without letting go of his hand. Buck doesn't know what he wants more: Eddie to let him go, otherwise Buck's cheeks will be too red and he won't be able to use the excuse of the heat inside the building, or to never let go, and also intertwine their fingers.

“Well, it was something new,” Buck says and hopes his voice sounds normal, and not like he’s a teenager and his crush looking at them. “Always knew you were a gentleman, but you never opened my car door,” they enter a beautiful building and Eddie leads him down the corridor further.

Eddie pouts a little embarrassed and bites his lower lip and Buck is about to tell him that he should not explain it, but Eddie turns his hazel interspersed with green like spring leaves eyes to him and his velvety voice and words turn Buck's knees into jelly. He is more than ever glad Eddie is holding his hand and controlling their movement.

“You said you never were the one who was courted during dates when we talked about it some time ago. Of course, it's not a date, but I wanted to show you that you're worth being courted, Buck.”

Buck just smiles back and feels his cheeks turn red. Eddie blushed too.

“Thank you, Eds. You deserve it too, you know?”

Eddie nods and they come to the place they need. Buck loses his breath looking at all the beauty around. Eddie took him to the botanical garden.

[buckydarlin]

DRUNK PROCLAMATIONS ; bucky barnes

pairing: avenger!bucky barnes x avenger!female!reader

summary: a voicemail leaves many thoughts running through bucky’s head. his heart soars with happiness before it crashes back into reality - what if she didn’t mean what she said? bucky’s only solution is to avoid her like hell. he doesn’t want to hear the truth from her lips, ready to take back everything she said in her voicemail because he knows he’s not worth any of it.

word count: 3.2k

warnings: insecure bucky, mentions of drinking, swearing, angst with a happy ending

note: written as part of @pellucid-constellations​‘s love letters writing challenge! i used the prompt “and i’ve never felt like that before, but something about you makes me want to feel like that”. i hope you enjoy!

Bucky can’t fall asleep. 

This isn’t a shocking revelation, he’s had many nights where he would stare into the darkness for hours, preferring it to the images he would conjure up in his sleep. What’s shocking is the reason that is keeping him up this time. His phone lights up on the bedside table and his heart starts to race again, an automatic reaction no thanks to [Name].

His eyes fly over to his phone to find a notification asking him to update his phone software. Bucky supposes he’s glad for the dumb notification. If it was a text, or god forbid another voicemail, he might just have a heart attack. Yes, a voicemail is what’s gotten Bucky all worked up. He groans just at the thought, feeling like a love-sick high school boy.

Bucky closes his eyes, in a lame attempt to fall asleep but minutes pass by before they shoot open again and he reaches out to grab his phone and soon, he’s opening the voicemail from [Name] that he received hours ago. He’s glad that Sam taught him how to open his voicemails (though he could have gone without the ‘old man’ jokes).

‘Hey Bucky! Hope you’re doing alright back at the tower! We’re having a blast but I wish you were here right now’

He swallows the lump in his throat as he starts the voicemail. He assumes that she’s outside somewhere as he can hear muffled music in the background but for the most part, it’s quiet. Her words are slightly slurred and he knows it doesn’t take much for [Name] to get drunk.

[Name] had been the first person to try and become his friend ever since he arrived at the tower and through many trials and errors, she was finally able to break down the wall Bucky had carefully built around himself. [Name]’s friendship is now something that he holds dearly and somewhere along the way, he started to fall for her.

Initially, he chalked it up to [Name] being the first woman in decades to give him some semblance of attention that he started to mix friendly gestures with romantic ones but as time went by, it became increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that his heart seemed to beat a little faster when she was around.

‘I know that you don’t really like big crowds so I’m not upset or anything. I know you try your best and it gets too much sometimes.’ 

It’s something that Bucky is insanely grateful for, how much she understands him. He was close to changing his mind about going out with the team after seeing [Name] in that little red dress but he just couldn’t deal with crowds tonight. Though she was disappointed about it, [Name] didn’t push him either. 

‘I think it would have been more fun with you though. Well, doing anything with you is more fun! We can go somewhere more private next time! Just you and me?

I really like spending time with you Buck, so it doesn’t matter what we do. As long as I can be near you, I’d do anything really’

His hand starts to shake at her words, just as it did the first time he listened to the voicemail. And he can’t even bring himself to listen to her list out different things to do or places to go as he prepares his heart for what comes after.

There’s a pause in your words - only the muffled music in the background and his racing heart reaches his ears until- 

‘I think I like you Bucky. No, I know I do. Friends don’t feel like this. Friends don’t say these things, do they? I don’t know, but I know what I feel for you is more that just a friendship. I might even love you and I’ve never felt like that before but there’s something about you that makes me want to feel like that. I don’t know, I think I’ve always felt the urge to gravitate towards you since we met, even if you were grumpy and closed off’

She giggles and Bucky relishes in it, her laughter is better than any music that’s been produced in this day and age. Hell, he’d listen to her laughter over his old 40′s records any day.

‘I wonder what it’s like to kiss you. I mean, I don’t want to overstep your boundaries but every time I watch you lick your lips, god Bucky, you don’t know what it does to me. I’d give you everything if you let me, Buck. You deserve it and a whole lot more. I-’

[Name]’s interrupted by someone, presumably Sam, who’s telling her to come back inside.

‘I gotta go for now, Bucky. I’ll see you when I get back at the tower, ‘kay?’

The voicemail closes as Bucky remains still, taking in her words. They come as much as a shock to him as it did the first time, no matter how many time he’s listened to it now.

Hours later, the team get back to the tower and Steve knocks on his door to make sure he’s alright. He can hear an intoxicated [Name] stumble through the corridors, wanting to do the same and he silently thanks Natasha when she steers [Name] into her own room, telling her that she can talk to Bucky sober in the morning, much to [Name]’s displeasure.

Bucky’s not sure if he’s ready to be confronted about the voicemail yet. Even if she boldly proclaimed her affections for him (albeit drunk), there’s a small voice that drips in the caverns of his mind. What if she didn’t mean it? Would she have meant them sober?

She doesn’t remember.

Bucky spent hours upon hours, bracing himself for the confrontation he was so sure would come up in the morning when she greets him in the kitchen, but there was nothing. 

“How the hell are you so chipper?” Sam grumbles, rolling his eyes as [Name] sticks her tongue out at him, “You could barely hold yourself straight up not even twelve hours ago”

“I’m just built better than you,” She jokes, laughing when Sam groans and holds his head when she ‘accidentally’ closes the drawer a little too loud.

Steve chuckles and Natasha can’t hide her smirk at the comment, “She’s got a point Sam. I mean, we’re all doing okay”

“Steve, you’re a super soldier and Natasha, you’re an assassin. I don’t even want to hear it from the two of you,” Sam sighs before pointing to [Name], “But she’s normal, like me. Well, not like me because she doesn’t get hangovers even when she drinks her weight in alcohol! Which is weird! You’re not normal, [Name]!”

[Name] laughs, not even slightly deterred by his comments as he continues to rant about her abnormalities. When she looks over to see Bucky quietly entering the kitchen and sit next to Steve, her smile widens, “Good morning, Bucky!”

He nods at her cautiously, the voicemail lingers in his mind, “Mornin’. Have a good night?”

If she notices that something’s off with him, she doesn’t mention it.

“I’m sure I did,” [Name] jokes, “I don’t really remember much of anything last night, if I’m being honest”

And it’s something that should fill Bucky with relief, but it doesn’t. She doesn’t remember. The thought manifests into something bigger. Did it even matter to her, if it wasn’t even worth remembering? Something that is so inconsequential to her but kept him up for hours, hoping that she meant every word she said.

“I did miss you though,” [Name] adds, snapping him out of his tortuous thoughts.

He’s glad that he’s trained himself to remain passive Bucky doesn’t know if he can ever get used to hearing those sort of things from her. Even if they were only said platonically. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

Sam interrupts, groaning loudly, “I already feel like throwing up without needing to see the two of you flirt!”

“Oh, stop it!” [Name] reprimands, playfully, “I’m not flirting with him!”

The comment hits his heart just a bit harder than it usually does (his previous thoughts didn’t exactly help either) and he feels the urge to be alone. So he abruptly stands up, interrupting the flow of conversation around the table and rushes back to his room for a moment of silence.

Bucky needs time to collect his thoughts, to stop making the voicemail more than what it is - a mistake. He should be grateful for her lack of memories. This means he can carry on as normal with her without making it weird or awkward for both parties. Because he’s sure that if she rejected him face to face, his heart would split open.

It’s a blessing in disguise. Something that he repeats to himself, in an attempt to convince himself that things are better the way it is. There were only two other outcomes - one which he’s sure would never happen - and Bucky doesn’t know how he would be able to be around her if he has to hear it from her.

A knock on his door brings him out of his trance and he hears [Name]’s soft and worrying voice through the wood.

“Bucky, is everything okay?”

A few seconds pass in silence as Bucky comes to terms with reality, to forget about the voicemail. He walks over to open his door, finding [Name] staring up at him with furrowed eyebrows. His hand twitches as he feels the urge to smooth out the wrinkles that appear due to her concern but he holds himself back.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I’m fine” 

He’s not sure that she believes him, but she doesn’t push him for the truth either. As he follows her back into the kitchen, he lets out a sigh.

He can do this, pretend that he’s not head over heels in love with [Name], it’s something he’s done for months. Because he’d rather keep her as a friend than not have her at all.

He’s a coward.

The fact that [Name] doesn’t remember confessing to him hurts him more than it should have. Bucky knows he should be grateful, really, because this means he doesn’t need to listen to her take back everything she said in her voicemail and he can carry on their friendship as if it never happened in the first place, but he can’t forget it.

He tried to go through the days as normal, as he always had until that night, but a couple weeks pass by and Bucky isn’t so sure he can keep up the facade anymore. So he does the next best thing he can come up with - avoid the hell out of her.

It’s not a good idea, he knows that but that voicemail has given him too much false hope. He used to be fine standing beside her but now he finds himself inching his fingers closer to [Name]’s, gazing at her just a little longer. He feels like a love-sick puppy following its owner around. 

Bucky feels guilty though, seeing the hurt and confusion on [Name]’s face when he starts hanging out with her less and less, but with her voicemail at the forefront of his mind and a confession of his own ready to spill from his lips, he figures this is the best move for some self-preservation. And to get rid of these feelings, he first needs to rid himself of her first, so he can come back a better man with no romantic feelings whatsoever (though that’s proving to be difficult regardless).

And despite knowing that something’s wrong, [Name] respects his boundaries, as she always did and gives him the space that he wants (though he doesn’t really want it). Which is why he doesn’t expect a confrontation.

There’s a loud knocking on the door and Bucky assumes it’s Steve checking up on him again. He’s been doing so the past few days as Bucky holes himself up in his room just as he did so when he first joined the team.

No matter how many times Bucky tells him he’s fine, Steve knows there’s no truth in his words at all. And while Bucky is grateful that his best friend cares deeply for him, it’s not really needed at the moment. 

But it’s not Steve.

[Name] is able to push him back into his room as she’s caught him off guard. Her eyes gleam with determination and anger and Bucky knows that he might not be able to avoid this situation any longer.

“Bucky, I can’t do this anymore,” Her words are sharp and he winces at her tone. Yeah, she wasn’t happy with him in the slightest.

“Tell me, what the hell have I done to make you avoid me?” [Name] asks him, cutting him off effectively when she sees his mouth open, “And don’t give me that ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ bullshit”

He closes his mouth, unable to think up of any excuse that would deter [Name] from dropping the subject. The silence stretches between them as he does his best to avoid her piercing eyes.

[Name] scoffs, looking away and Bucky takes this time to look at her. She’s not as angry as she was when she stormed into his room. Rather, she looks tired and frustrated and incredibly hurt.

“If I did something to hurt you,” [Name] starts, slouching against his desk, “Then I’m sorry” 

“You didn’t,” Bucky immediately clarifies, shaking his head, “God, [Name]. None of this is your fault”

“Then why are you avoiding me?” She questions, finally looking back at him. She looks as if she’s on the verge of crying and Bucky wants nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms, “One day we were fine and then suddenly we weren’t. I miss you, Buck”

He’s silent again, contemplating on whether to let the truth out or not as she stands up straight and suddenly, he’s in panic mode. [Name] looks like she’s about to walk out - maybe out of his life for good, tired of his shit. And he figures now is as good as any time to say everything that’s been on his mind. Because even if she might want space from him afterwards, if there’s even a slim chance that they can get back to their friendship, he’ll take it.

“That night,” His voice stops her from moving but he doesn’t look at her, “A couple of weeks ago where you and the rest went out. You left me a voicemail... telling me that you like me. Might love me, even”

And it’s [Name]’s turn to freeze up. He’s not sure what’s running through her head as he speaks and to be honest, he’s afraid to know. 

“And...,” Bucky’s voice breaks slightly and he clears his throat, “I know that it was just a mistake on your part. You were drunk, you weren’t in your right mind and you didn’t mean what you said. I mean...” How could you love someone like me? 

His heart constricts as the words get stuck in his throat so he moves on.

“You didn’t remember any of it the next morning and I saw it as a sign to pretend the voicemail never happened. But I can’t forget it, [Name]. I tried, I really did,” Bucky clenches his jaw, “I really wanted to, for the sake of our friendship but I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said to me that night. More than anything, I wanted it to be real.”

And there it was, he finally said it out loud. 

“I like you, [Name]. No, I’m in love with you. And I know I’m not good enough for you, someone as broken as me, you deserve more than what I could ever give,” He lets out a self-deprecating laugh, “But I keep clinging onto that voicemail because even if you didn’t mean it, I’ve never wanted anything more”

He waits to allow his words to sink in for her and prepares his heart for her next action. He just hopes whatever the outcome is, no matter how much space she needs away from him, she’ll allow him to stand by her again eventually.

The sound of his phone ringing makes him jump and when he eyes his phone lying on the bed, he’s confused to see [Name]’s picture on his screen. His eyes, cautiously yet questioningly, look over to her as she walks over. He’s unsure what to do but she reaches out to grab his wrist when he reaches over in an attempt to grab his phone.

[Name] only lets him go when she hears his voicemail message, staring up at Bucky as she speaks.

“Hey Bucky, it’s [Name]. Though I’m sure you know that,” [Name] gives him a half-hearted smile, “Last time I left you a voicemail, I told you that I think I’m in love with you. I’m not really sure what I said and I guess I can’t blame you for thinking I didn’t mean it because I was drunk. But I’m sober now, so listen carefully, alright?”

At this, Bucky straightens up. His heart is pounding so loudly, he’s sure she can hear it as well but doing as he’s told, Bucky takes in your words.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for a while and I suppose that’s why it hurt a lot when you suddenly began avoiding me. Though I wish you would’ve said something earlier because I could’ve loved you openly a whole lot earlier. I don’t want to hear that ‘I’m not good enough for you’ bullshit again, do you hear me? You are more than good enough, Bucky. And if you let me, I’ll love you in all the ways you deserve to be loved”

Bucky is stunned into silence. There’s various emotions running through him, confusion, surprise, doubt, but one feeling stands above all, an overwhelming happiness.

Bucky opens and closes his mouth several times, dumbfounded and at a loss of words. He’s so engulfed in his emotions, he’s not sure what to say.

“Really?” 

And she laughs, covering her mouth in attempt to conceal her laughter, “Yes Bucky, really” 

[Name] throws her phone on the bed and takes a step closer to him, slowly linking her fingers with his.

“I love you, Bucky,” She whispers, words meant only for his ears, “Will you love me back?”

“I already do, sweetheart,” Bucky grins widely, freeing one of his hands to reach up and cup her face, “I love you, so much. Fuck, this feels like a dream”

“It’s not, Buck. I promise you, it’s all real,” [Name] reaffirms, “Would you like me to write you a love letter to prove it? I’m sure that’s more your style, old man”

Bucky laughs, shaking his head, “This is better than any love letter I’ve ever received” 

And he means it with all his heart. The dozens of love letters he received back in the day couldn’t hold a candle to her voicemail.

“I’m gonna kiss you now, Buck,” She tells him, her lips ghost over his, “I’m going to show you how much I love you and how much you mean to me, you hear?”

“Loud and clear, doll”

[russiandoll-from-brooklyn]

Pretending for the Night

Title: Pretending for the Night

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: It's Valentine’s Day. Nothing more than a typical Saturday in the Avengers Facility, but this year, you convince your teammate (and, unbeknownst to you, admirer) Bucky to spend a night on the town together. After all, doesn't pretending to be normal -- just for one night -- sound irresistible?

Warnings: None

[This fic is basically 90% fluff, 10% angst, 100% cute, romantic soft!bucky.

Word count: Basically 2.7k words of romantic tension.

----

"Hey! Don't touch!"

As you turn the hallway corner to enter the kitchen, you're greeted by the sound of Tony scolding Sam. Tony is holding a pastel purple box above his head, eyes glaring out over his sunglasses.

"I didn't, man," Sam exclaims, both palms open in a defensive gesture. "I just wanted to see what it was!"

Steve is seated next to Sam at the kitchen counter and he gives you a little g'morning nod as you enter the room.

"Wow, early start the bickering today," you tease. You stride over the the cabinet to reach for a coffee mug. "Were you out this morning, Tony?"

You gesture to the sunglasses now perched on your dark-haired teammate's head.

"There's this bakery on South Street. You know. Burton's? You have to get there early because it's really popular. Anyways," Tony explains in his typical rapid-fire, hyper manner while placing the box in the fridge. "They have this white chocolate mousse cake. It's honestly just decent, but Pep goes crazy for it. We got it on one of our first dates, so I think it's really just some sort of olfactory good-warm-fuzzy-feeling association, but regardless... Mousse cake."

"Uh, cool, man," replies Sam with a confused look. "What's the occasion?"

Tony looks up at Sam with squinted eyes. Then, to you and Steve, seeming baffled at your equally blank faces.

"You lot are so depressing. Like, wow," Tony finally remarks dryly. "It's Valentine's Day. Sheesh."

With that, Tony sighs, spins on his heels, and strides out of the kitchen.

"How were we supposed to know that?" Steve asks blankly, turning to you and Sam.

"I guess it does come every year," you reply with a chuckle. "Maybe we are depressing."

You blow on your mug of fresh coffee. Morning sun is trickling in through the large Facility windows, bathing the room in gold. You sigh deeply. It really had been a while since romance was on your mind. Being an Avenger was a tough job -- unrelenting -- and honestly, some days, you felt less like a real human and more like a robot just going through the motions.

A few moments later, Bucky strolls in.

"Mornin'," he says sleepily, nodding to you and the others.

You knew that Bucky never slept well. In the three or so years you've known him, he's been consistently plagued with nightmares and insomnia. Your eyes follow him as he pours his own mug of coffee and starts rummaging through the pantry for breakfast.

"Any big V-Day plans, Buck?" asks Sam with a smirk, knowing well and good that his friend did not.

Bucky looks briefly confused, but then shakes his head with a scoff.

"Haven't had Valentine's Day plans since '41."

"But," Steve interjects, suddenly excited. "If I'm remembering correctly, that was one crazy night. For you, at least."

Your ears perk up. You loved hearing about Steve and Bucky's life when they were growing up in Brooklyn together.

"Bucky Barnes, the player," you remark with a grin.

"Oh, you have no idea. What was it that year? Fireworks in Central Park, right? And the redhead?" Steve starts to recount with a huge smile on his face.

Sam makes an obnoxious howling sound which causes you to burst into laughter.

"Don't remember, Steve," Bucky says. His words are dry, but you catch a shadow of a grin before he turns around to flip his omelet.

Honestly, you don't hate Valentine's Day like so many people seem to pretend to. You have fond memories of the holiday from years ago, when life was a bit more normal. You reminisce on past boyfriends, fireplace kisses, pasta dinners, and late night laughter. All of those carefree moments seem to have vanished into thin air. Where did they go?

A thought pops into your head.

"Well, if none of you have plans tonight -- let's go see a movie! Walk around the city. Take advantage of some Valentine's Day restaurant specials!"

"I can't," replies Steve. "I got that report to write up for Fury. He's been down my throat about it."

"I don't have an excuse," remarks Sam, cocking his head to the side. "But Valentine's Day's just not my speed."

You scowl at him and groan. You throw your head back in exasperation, eliciting a chuckle from Sam.

"You guys! Don't you just want to do some normal people stuff? For once?" you demand.

"I'd go."

You whip around to face Bucky, who'd been quietly forking eggs into his mouth. To say the least, you're surprised. But you don't let your momentary surprise give him a chance to change his mind.

"Yes!" you say excitedly. "Meet at the front entrance at six."

You grin and skip out of the kitchen before Bucky can object. You were going to have your night of normalcy, one way or another.

----

At exactly 6 p.m., you make your way to the front entrance. You had opted for a long sleeve top, light jacket, and jeans. You even wore a little gold necklace. It didn't really match the outfit, but you were just so excited for a rare opportunity to wear jewelry.

Not two seconds after you reach the front entrance, you hear another set of footsteps coming down the hall. You turn around, and... wow. Bucky looks, well, really good. He's wearing a grey cotton shirt under a black bomber jacket, dark jeans, and of course, his black leather gloves to cover his hands from the prying eyes of onlookers. You weren't used to seeing him in anything other than his Winter Soldier suit or workout gear, so the sight of Bucky in civilian clothes was refreshing. You can't deny that he looks absolutely handsome.

"Hey. Ready?" he says when he reaches you.

As the two of you stroll out towards the garage together, you catch a whiff of something warm, oaky, and enticing. Is Bucky wearing cologne?

---

"Y/L/N. Party of two," you tell the hostess once you're inside the restaurant.

You'd found this place via a quick Google search -- punching in "towns near me" and "ramen." You'd just picked the one with the best reviews and least health code infringements, so you were pleasantly surprised. The atmosphere is lively yet cozy, the air filled with the chatter of happy patrons and the smell of gourmet ramen. It's warm, a welcome contrast to the brisk February chill outside.

After Bucky takes his seat across from you at the small table, he looks around the interior curiously.

"I didn't know Upstate New York had Japanese food," he says.

"Me neither," you reply, picking up the paper menu to study it. "Ramen's my favorite, though. I hope it's good."

Bucky picks up his menu, too.

"Never had it before. Hey, what's shoyu?"

You giggle at him and start going over the Japanese terminology. The two of you order and make small talk, waiting for your food to come out.

“Far cry from Brooklyn, isn’t it? Best I could do,” you joke, looking around the cozy interior.

“I actually quite like this,” Bucky replies, breaking his chopsticks. “I don’t think city life suits me anymore. Way back when, I loved New York. But now, this is more my speed, actually.”

“You’re such a senior citizen.”

“Hey,” Bucky exclaims with a smirk, feigning offense.

The waitress brings your food over, and the smell is heavenly. Two big, steaming bowls of noodles are placed on the table, and your mouth waters.

“This looks amazing,” Bucky says, about to plunge his chopsticks into the noodles.

“Wait!” you say before he can dig in.

Bucky gives you a quizzical look as you reach for the white bottle of sake between you. You set out two glasses and gingerly pour Bucky a shot with two hands. You then fill your own glass.

“Tradition,” you explain, lifting you glass. “The younger one always pours for the elder, you old man. Now, cheers!”

He rolls his eyes playfully before clinking his glass to yours. You both swallow the sake in one go. You scrunch your nose as the alcohol burns your throat. Bucky seems unfazed.

“So, you never get drunk? Like you physically can’t?” you ask, reaching for your spoon.

“Nope," he replies. "Honestly, I can't even remember what it's like to feel drunk."

You watch as your teammate gingerly attempts to wrangle a noodle in his chopsticks. He shakily brings the bite to his mouth before it slips from his grasp, falling back into the broth. A little splash of soup hits him in the chin. You stifle your laughter as he scowls and reaches for his napkin. Bucky cracks a grin and starts to chuckle alongside you. The pure authenticity of his smile lights something inside of you.

That smile. Bucky really was devilishly handsome.

You and Bucky finish your meal, chatting and joking with ease. You loved seeing this side of your teammate. Just from talking to him, you could tell that his true nature -- before the Winter Soldier -- was carefree, joyful, kind. You felt like you were getting a peek into the past. As if you were actually in the year 1941, sitting across from a young and hopeful army enlistee. So full of life and potential.

When the bill comes, Bucky swipes it from the waitress’ hand before you can grab it first.

“Hey! Let me pay,” you protest. “I’m the one who asked you to come out tonight.”

He ignores your outstretched hand, taking a few bills from his wallet and closing the little leather bill-holder.

“I’m an old-fashioned kind of guy,” he says matter-of-factly. “Please don’t call me sexist for wanting to treat a girl on Valentine’s Day.”

You swear you feel the lightest shadow of blush rise of your cheeks. There was something so endearing about the gesture that you don’t even argue further. You just thank you and give him a smile.

When you exit the restaurant, the February night was chillier. A delicate flurry of snow had begun to fall. The gossamer flakes are illuminated by the flow of each yellow streetlamp as the two of you pass by, walking to the car. You cross paths on the sidewalk with numerous other pairs, many of them holding hands or walking with arms draped around one another. You sigh contently. A gross cliché, you think to yourself, but love is truly in the air. This. This was nice.

You reach your car where it’s parked on the street corner and hastily pull open the passenger side door. Once you’re both inside, you let out an audible shiver.

“Brrrr,” you say aloud, wrapping your jacket tighter around your frame. “It got cold while we were in there.”

Bucky inserts the key into the ignition and starts the engine. He quickly fumbles with the control dials, blasting warm air into the car’s interior.

“Warming up?” he asks after a moment, looking over to you.

You nod, giving him a smile.

“Back to the compound?” you suggest.

Bucky’s hands are on the wheel, but the rest of him is frozen still. He seems to be pondering something. You give him a quizzical look.

“Forget how to drive?" you tease.

"Y/N," Bucky says, suddenly serious. "Can I ask you something?"

You feel that familiar combination of anxiety and intrigue rise up in your throat.

"What's up?"

"Were you disappointed that only I wanted to come tonight?"

Your eyes shoot over to your friend. He has his hands still clutched on the wheel, his gaze directed straight ahead through the windshield. His dark brown hair shields his face from your side of the car.

"Bucky," you start, turning your body slightly towards him. "God, no. I was so happy when you said you wanted to come. I love hanging out with you."

Bucky's shoulders relax a bit at this, and he raises a gloved hand to his face to brush a strand of loose hair behind his ear.

"It's just that Sam and Steve are so fun. They're always so carefree and happy and you know... not me."

His voice comes out soft, almost defeated. It's apparent that this has been weighing on the soldier's mind, and something about that realization makes your heart ache.

"Yeah. You're right. They're not you," you begin. Bucky's eyes finally meet yours, anxiously awaiting your next words. "And that's a good thing."

Bucky lets out a small, sighing laugh as if he doesn't believe you.

"I was just worried you felt weird. Or disappointed. Or both," he says. "Girls don't tend to like me much these days."

You smile at him warmly.

"Honestly, I think I prefer the dark-and-brooding look," you remark with a laugh. This earns an amused chuckle from Bucky as well. "I've seen the photos of you and Steve from the 40s. The Golden Boy thing wasn't really doing it for me."

You laugh together, and for a moment, that genuine smile returns to Bucky's face. The two of you lock eyes for a split second before you turn away, a sneaky blush tinging your cheeks.

You and Bucky sit for a few minutes in pleasant silence. The only sound is the hum of the air conditioning heating the interior, and for a moment, everything feels right. Suddenly, you're in high school again. You're a silly teenager, falling for the boy on the football team. You're sitting, parked, in the school lot, taking refuge under darkness of the night. Your mom is probably starting to get mad that you're out so late, but you don't care. Not right now. It's that moment of tense silence -- right before he kisses you -- and you're wanting him, wanting him, wanting...

"Thank you," Bucky suddenly blurts, shattering the quiet.

"What for?"

You note the nervous look in Bucky's eyes. The way he shuffles in his seat, trying to look confident and cool all at once. You smile.

"I usually feel like such a freak all the time," he finally replies. "The last time I felt like a normal guy was seventy years ago. I guess, I just thought my days of going out on the town with a pretty girl were long gone."

You can't help but blush at his comment. He thinks I'm pretty?

"But tonight," he continues. "I wish it never had to end. It's nice feeling normal."

He holds your gaze, and this time, you don't turn away. God, he is so handsome. James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky. Buck. Friend.

And there they are again. Those high school, fluttering-madly-in-the-stomach butterflies. What was happening to you?

"I think I like Valentine's Day again," you finally say. The words pass through your lips in a whisper.

Bucky laughs, grinning that oh-so-handsome and mysterious grin. His expression softens a touch, and you see his eyes flicker down to your mouth. But just as quickly as the moment rises, it's gone. It's as if the reins were yanked back, saying 'no, you can't.' Why? A million reasons. You're teammates. You're friends. He's the Winter Soldier. He's scared. He's doesn't trust himself enough yet.

The butterflies are still there as Bucky clears his throat, turning back to the wheel. He puts the car into 'drive' and pulls away from the curb, starting the journey back to the Facility.

You sink back into the passenger seat. You can't help but bite your bottom lip, simultaneously wanting to stay silent and dying to speak. Nothing comes out.

However, in a moment's notice, you feel your disappointment rapidly transforming into a blushing grin. Yes, this was like high school all over again. This was real life all over again. You feel pleased because, deep down, you know that the ride is just beginning. The moment before the kiss. The late night calls. The silently daring one another to make the first move. Fingertips, innocently brushing one another. Stolen glances and the thrill of the uncertainty. The falling.

You gaze out the window peacefully, watching the darkness whizz past.

This was the beginning of the very best part.

[lost-in-the-80s]

The Wedding

Pairing: Izzy Stradlin x fem!reader

Words: 2.321k

Summary: Your brother's wedding has arrived, without having a boyfriend, you invite Izzy, your best friend, to be your date. (smut)

A/N: When I started listening to gnr, it didn’t take much time before Izzy got a place in my heart, so this is for his birthday

Song rec for the fic: Woman by John Lennon

Sitting on an airplane for over an hour now, Izzy observed your asleep figure beside him, your head laying on his shoulder, like you had done so many times before, unaware of the warmth it caused on the brunette’s heart.

He questioned himself for a thousandth time that week. Why in the hell did I agree with this?

The idea didn’t sound like a big deal at first, accompanying you to your brother’s wedding wouldn’t cause any harm. But as the days started to go by, his mind traced every aspect of a wedding, the music, the romantic atmosphere, the dancing, and he soon started to regret having said yes so easily.

The truth is that Izzy has always loved you, ever since the day the two of you met. It all happened so naturally that he didn’t notice he was in love until you went on a date with another guy.

At first, he loved your voice, he’d call you just to hear you talking for hours about the most random things. Then it was your eyes, he found himself entranced by their color, the way they rolled when you got annoyed, and how they seemed to invade his deepest thoughts and memories every time you looked at his eyes.

The last thing was your attitude, your bluntness and forward behavior shocking him sometimes, and being his main entertainment in others. He found a true interest in watching you, it didn’t matter what you were doing, you would always be in his sight.

And even though years passed, that feeling seemed to just grow more and more, and every time he saw you going out with another guy, his heart broke into smaller and smaller pieces.

Little did he know the reason behind your maneater habits.

The truth is that, just like him, you had fallen for him since day one, you loved his nonchalant attitude and his style, the shape of his hands and fingers, and how dry his voice was after his third cigarette.

Just like him, you would secretly observe him, the two of you being too good on your game to ever get caught by each other.

But you didn’t want to risk your friendship over admitting your feelings, especially when you didn’t know if Izzy felt the same way. So you went on multiple dates, meeting guys with the most different appearances and personalities, all in hopes that one day, you’d meet someone capable of making you stop thinking about the guy from Indiana. That, obviously, never happened.

A little turbulence on the plane woke you up, you immediately looked up, meeting his brownish eyes.

“It’s just turbulence. Go back to sleep.”

You nodded slowly, before laying your head on his shoulder again, inhaling his scent of cigarettes and cologne and immediately feeling your body calm down.

---

You looked at yourself in the mirror of the hotel room, rolling your eyes at Niki's choice of color and design for the bridesmaids' dresses.

A soft knock on the door caught your attention and there stood him, a black blazer matching his black jeans.

He looked you up and down.

"You're gonna steal the bride's attention like that."

"It's grey, the most boring color ever! I wouldn't steal her attention, even if I wanted to."

He chuckled softly.

Well, you stole my attention. He thought to himself.

Picking up your purse and gift you exited the room, locking your arm with his for support, as you got on the elevator and then walked towards the hotel's saloon.

---

During the entire ceremony, Izzy found his attention caught by you, the way you stood out amongst the other bridesmaids and how impatient you seemed to grow with how long the ceremony was taking.

Your grey dress looked like pure silver, reflecting the lights. You looked so beautiful that he wished he had brought a camera to take a picture of you.

Your eyes caught his for once, and you blinked in his direction, smiling when you saw his lips turn into a small smile.

After what felt like forever the ceremony ended and he found himself sitting at a table with “Y/N and boyfriend” written down on a card.

“I think someone gave them the wrong info.” He showed you the card when you plopped down on the chair beside him.

You rolled your eyes. “Classic coming from my family.”

You lifted the tablecloth, making him look down to see what was happening.

“These heels are killing me.” You complained, removing your silver sandals and quickly massaging your feet.

“I bet they are.” He took two champagne glasses from a waiter passing by.

He knew you weren’t used to heels. Being almost his height, you never felt the need to wear them that often.

“Thanks.” You took your glass towards your nude lips.

“How much did you pay for that gift?” He pointed towards the biggest package on a pile, knowing it was yours.

“300 bucks.”

His eyes widened for a second.

You didn’t wait for him to say anything, knowing exactly what was crossing his mind.

“He’s my only brother. I might not like Niki that much, but he’s happy with her, and I’m happy for that.”

“Fair enough.” He drank from his champagne again. "Those ice statutes are quite tempting for a man who wants to take a piss,"

He chuckled to himself, but soon realized that your attention was focused on the main door.

“See that girl over there?” You pointed at the door.

“What’s with her?”

“That’s Braeden,” the name made him realize she was your sister. “She’s the only woman taller than me here….”

He looked back at you, and so you lowered your voice, keeping eye contact with him.

“When the bouquet time comes, you’re gonna block her.” You gestured aggressively with your hands, making a smile start to form on his lips.

“Why?”

“There’s no way my younger sister is gonna get married before me.”

He chuckled. “I didn’t know you aspired to marriage Y/N.”

Your eyes softened with his sentence and a small pain formed in your heart. If only he knew what crossed your mind when you looked at him during the ceremony.

---

The night seemed to go by faster than he expected and soon he found himself at the drinks table, observing as you talked to some relatives of yours on the other side of the saloon.

You sensed his eyes and looked towards him, giving him a look that said “Help me.”

He chuckled softly, but before he could do anything a woman’s voice caught his attention.

“You must be Izzy.”

He looked to his side, seeing a woman that looked just like Joey, your brother.

“Yes, and you are….” He extended his hand for her to shake.

“I’m Martha, Y/N’s mother.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“I didn’t know the two of you were dating.”

He choked on his drink.

“We aren’t, we’re just friends.” He looked down for a second.

She nodded slowly, before locking her eyes on your side.

“I know my daughter very well,"

Her voice made him look back at her.

“She has had many boyfriends in her life, but I’ve never seen her look at them in the way she looks at you.”

He opened his mouth, but your presence made him stop.

“Hey, mom!” You smiled, kissing her cheek.

“Hello, darling.” She touched your hair, adjusting some locks. “I promised I'd dance this one with your father.”

You nodded in understanding as she smiled before walking away.

“So… wanna dance with me?” You nudged him from the side, before taking a sip from his drink.

“With this song?” He asked, taking notice that Woman by John Lennon was playing.

“Why not?” You shrugged.

“Okay.” He placed his now empty glass on the table before taking your hand and guiding you towards the other people there dancing.

One of his hands held you delicately by your waist as you slowly swung to the song. Your eyes locked on each other as the other people around you seemed to disappear.

Your mother’s words mixed with the lyrics hitting his head like bells as he finally noticed the glow that formed in your eyes as you looked at him, making his heart race faster than ever.

You just realized another song was playing when someone bumped into you, making a disco song hit your ears.

You both looked so distracted and for a second you thought you’d sit down for the rest of the night, not being able to feel his cold fingers brush on your skin through your dress.

But those thoughts washed away when he let go of your waist just to grab both of your hands and guide you throughout the song, just like he did for the rest of the night.

That was the happiest night you have had in your life, and when your hotel room number became noticeable at the end of the corridor, you wished you could turn back time and do it all again.

“Happy with your bouquet?”

“More than happy.” You giggled, smelling the flowers one more time.

It was comic the way Izzy put himself in front of your sister, pretending not to be aware of what was happening.

“Thanks for that.”

“If that makes you happy, I can do that at the next weddings too.”

Next weddings. The thought made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

“So…” he started, stopping in front of your room as you opened the door.

“So…”

“Tonight was fun.”

“Yes, it really was!” You said looking down. “Thanks for coming with me, Iz.” You leaned towards him, kissing his cheek gently.

“Anytime.” He replied so lowly that you weren’t sure if he had actually said that.

You entered your room and closed the door, resting your forehead against it as you sighed.

Rushed knocks against the wood made you regain your posture and quickly open the door.

Izzy looked deep inside your eyes, his brown orbs saying everything his mouth wanted to.

Not a second after that and you wrapped your arms around his neck, your lips colliding against his.

No kiss ever had felt like that. It was warm like fire and exciting, you felt your heart start racing faster and your mind went numb.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you as close as he could while entering your room and kicking the door shut behind him.

Soon you found yourself in your bed, your legs wrapped around his hips as your tongues fought for dominance, making small moans and grunts leave your mouths. One of his hands started traveling underneath your dress's fabric, exploring every inch of your legs, making you shiver with his cold fingers.

Your lips found his neck, kissing and biting at his flesh with desire, delighted by his irregular breathing and the small moans he tried to hold.

A certain hardness was pressed against your core among what seemed like a thousand layers of clothing. The sensation making you wet as you bit harsher on his neck, loving the smirk that formed on his lips.

He pushed himself off of you, standing up and ripping his shirt open, the sound of buttons hitting the floor filling the room.

“I need your help with the dress.”

You sat on the bed, your back facing him as he found the zipper, opening it quickly while he applied wet kisses on the extension of your back, biting your flesh just like you had done with him, making a small moan leave your lips.

“So beautiful.” He whispered against your ear, making another shiver possess your body.

You stripped off of the dress as you watched him undo his pants and remove his underwear with it.

He made his way back to the bed, his calloused fingers removed your blue lace panties slowly and delicately. One of his fingers traveled in between your folds, his eyes closing for a second when he noticed your wetness for him.

Izzy cupped your face with one of his hands, kissing you tenderly before asking.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

You felt the tip of his member entering you, making you close your eyes, focusing on the sensation it caused. You felt him slowly expanding your walls until it was all the way in, making a soft and small moan leave your lips.

Izzy looked at you for confirmation and after seeing you nod, he started moving.

In the beginning, it was slow and passionate, he made it the most intimate he could, touching every inch of your skin, whispering sweet nothings on your ear, as you traced his back and arms with the tip of your fingers, allowing your nails to softly touch his skin.

After some minutes, sweat started to form on both your bodies, your moans coming out in unison filled the room as you felt your walls start to clench around him.

That’s when he sped up his pace, the tip of his member now hitting your g-spot with no mercy, he massaged one of your breasts with his hand, while the other rested on the bed for support.

“Izzy,” His name left your lips in a loud moan and you saw a proud expression consume his features.

“I know, princess, I know.”

You closed your eyes and moaned again, feeling as you and he both came at the same time. A groan leaving his throat matching your whimpers as you felt a wave of pure pleasure wash over your body. Your legs started to shake and you scratched his back, while he bit harsh enough to leave a mark on your neck.

Both sweating and trying to gain your breath again, you laid in bed, your head resting on his chest as he softly caressed your body.

“Izzy?”

“Hum?”

“This is not a one-time thing, right?”

“No, Y/N, it is not.”

Thanks for reading <3

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[tripleaxeldiaz]

elmosolyodni for the wordstuck prompts 💕

elmosolyodni: to slowly break out into a genuine smile when being overcome with emotions, like love or utter happiness.

read on ao3

As much as he wanted it to be, as much as he wanted it for himself, Eddie’s never been great at romance. 

His proposal to Shannon was more like a suggestion, a stuttering statement that tumbled out of him when she showed him the positive test six months after their first date. And he didn’t give it much thought again — didn’t have time to think about it — until a couple months into his tour, when his team was swapping stories about wives and husbands over dinner and someone asked, “So Diaz, how’d you pop the question?”

The fact that he didn’t have a story to tell stung more than he thought it would.

He tried to make it up to her — bought her flowers when he was home, took her out for their anniversary every year, but between parenthood and redeployment and the growing chasm between them when he came back the second time, any notion of romance felt harder and harder to hold onto. And when she left, amid the panic and shame and anger, there was also a sadness, a resignation that the romance he’d quietly craved just wasn’t meant for him. He had bills to pay, a kid to take care of, a life to rebuild. Sweeping gestures from him or for him no longer seemed important.

That all changed when he met Buck, as most things in his life did.

Even before they started dating, Eddie wanted to do things for Buck. He wanted to buy him the shirt in the window display that reminded him of his eyes, wanted to make sure that they always had his weird Icelandic yogurt in the fridge for when he stayed over, wanted to wrap him up when he got that broken look on his face and remind him that he is loved by everyone and especially by Eddie. It was a physical need, one he felt in his gut every time, but he’d shut that part of himself off so firmly that all he could do was hope it didn’t linger too long. Buck needed a friend, and he’d be damned if he did anything stupid enough to ruin what they already had, what they’d already built.

It took a bullet ripping through his abdomen to make him realize what a terrible idea that had been.

But a year later wounds are healed, PT is long done, and he wakes up next to Buck every morning feeling happier than he has in almost a decade. He gets to buy the shirt for him, stock up on yogurt, and press himself into Buck’s space until his eyes get their spark back. He can fantasize about the house they’ll buy or the dogs they’ll adopt once Chris moves out.

He can see a titanium ring in the display case of the jewelry store at the mall and perfectly imagine what it would look like on Buck’s finger.

And he can make it all the way to his truck after buying it before the panic starts to set it.

He doesn’t register driving to Maddie and Chim’s until he’s frantically knocking on the door, hoping he heard Buck right and that Maddie’s off today taking care of a sick Jee-yun. The door flies open, and he sees Maddie’s face go from pissed to surprised to confused as she zeros in on the velvet box held limply in his hand.

“Uh, Eddie, that’s really sweet, but there are a lot of reasons why this would never work.”

His laugh is borderline hysterical as he gently pushes into the apartment. “It’s for Buck, but I— we haven’t really— I don’t even know if—” He doesn’t realize he’s pacing until Maddie takes his elbow and steers him to the couch, hands him a glass of water, and pushes him to sit.

“Breathe. Drink,” she says, and he does as his mind keeps spinning. She sets the empty glass on the coffee table and sits in the armchair across from him. “Okay. You want to propose. That’s a good thing, right?”

“Of course.” It’s the best thing, at the very top of a list of things he thought were untoppable.

“Have you guys talked about getting married?”

It wasn’t so much a conversation as a shift in language — one day the phrase “if we get married” changed to “when we get married” and neither of them thought twice about it because it felt so right.

“Sort of,” he settles on.

“And you’re sure he’d say yes?”

“Yes.” There’s few things in life he’s ever been so sure of, no matter what his earlier panic was making him think.

“So what’s the problem?”

He slumps back on the couch, hands running through his hair. “I don’t know how to do it.”

Maddie squints at him. “Eddie, it’s a pretty hard thing to mess up. And you’ve already been married, so don’t you have some practice?”

“That was different,” he says. “Shannon was already pregnant, it was more like a to-do list item than anything else. I didn’t even get her a ring until a couple months later.”

“Well you’re already a step ahead there, so that’s good.”

He sighs, pulling the ring box out of his pocket again and opening it. The thin line of silver running through the black glints in the sunlight, and he can still picture Buck wearing it so clearly, he’s just not sure how it gets there. All he knows is this aching need he can feel in his chest to make sure that however he does it, it’s enough — more than enough — that Buck knows exactly how deep his love runs, exactly how desperately Eddie needs him in his life and by his side.

Maddie moves to sit next to him and takes the box, and Eddie falls back into the cushions again. “I just want it to be perfect for him,” he says quietly. “Romantic. All the stuff people dream about when they think about getting engaged. But I have no idea how to do that.”

Maddie studies the ring for a minute before shutting the box, pressing it into his hand until he looks her in the eye. Her gaze is steady, piercing, and very (scarily) reminiscent of her brother’s. “You are asking him to marry you. It’s already perfect.” The reassurance helps, and it’s easy to smile back at her when she squeezes his hand. 

“But,” she says, reaching for a pen and notebook on the coffee table, “a little romance never killed anyone, so let’s make some lists and figure out what you do and don’t want to do.”

Lists sound good. Eddie can work with lists.

“Rule number one,” she says, already scribbling, “no sporting events. Nothing kills the mood faster than seeing your face on a Jumbotron…”

~~~~~~~~~~

In the end, none of the lists really matter.

Because two weeks later, they’re sitting on the back patio after dinner, night air cool and lit up around them by the lights Chris insisted on hanging for his last backyard sleepover. Buck’s going on about a patient who tried to insist he could do CPR on himself, and Eddie’s hypnotized by his enthusiasm, the expressiveness of his hands and the joyful blush on his cheeks. He says something that makes both of them laugh, bubbling through the quiet of the neighborhood, and Eddie knows, immediately and with every part of him.

He has to ask Buck now. It’s not the candlelit dinner and walk on the beach he’d decided on with Maddie, nor is it even close to as big and bold as anything else they’d come up with. But none of that matters now because his skin is buzzing and his heart is pounding and he doesn’t want the ring burning in his pocket a minute longer — he wants to swear himself to Buck right here, in this moment that is extraordinarily ordinary and perfectly them. This is a story he wants to tell people over and over, to their family and friends and anyone else who will listen.

The universe must still be trying to make up for the hell it put him through last year, because the playlist coming through their portable speaker changes to something softer, romantic, and Eddie takes his chance before he talks himself out of it.

“Dance with me,” he says, standing and offering his hand to Buck. 

“I’m sorry, are my stories boring?” Buck laughs as he takes his hand, folding into Eddie’s space like he’s always meant to be there, arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him close.

“Never,” Eddie says, and he pauses, because the one thing he and Maddie didn’t talk about was what he actually wanted to say to Buck when he asked. And now that he’s here with very little preparation, the huge, all-encompassing feelings he has for Buck refuse to be wrangled into a few measly sentences. None of the words he can think of feel big enough to capture how deeply his love runs, and he can feel his skin start buzzing for a much more unpleasant reason.

Hands squeeze his waist, zoning him back in and focusing him on Buck, on the crease between his eyebrows and the worry around his mouth. “Everything okay?” he asks, because he always knows when Eddie gets lost in himself, sometimes even before Eddie figures it out. 

Buck knows him better than he knows himself. He doesn’t need big, poetic monologues for Buck to understand what’s going on inside his head.

The buzzing changes again, fueling his determination as he slips his hand into his pocket. “I love you. So much it’s almost scary. But I’m more scared of spending the rest of my life without you,” he holds the ring up between them, “so will you marry me?”

Buck freezes, stopping them both from swaying with the music. Eddie watches his eyes flit between the ring and Eddie and back again, holding his breath as he waits for an answer. Finally, Buck’s eyes lock on Eddie and stay there, a soft smile growing and growing until it’s so incandescently bright that Eddie’s afraid he might have to look away or risk losing his vision.

And then, just as quickly, Buck drops his hands from Eddie’s waist and runs back into the house.

Eddie honestly isn’t sure what to make of this, the only thought running through his head being what the fuck just happened here. But then Buck’s running back outside, still smiling and not-so-secretly holding something behind his back, and now it’s Eddie’s turn to glow.

“You’re joking,” he says quietly, cheeks already hurting from a smile that feels permanent and eyes feeling a little wet.

Buck shakes his head, his eyes shining too as he holds up the velvet box. “Bought it like a month ago when Chris and I went to buy him a new backpack, I had to bribe him with a new video game to keep him quiet. I haven’t even gotten a chance to tell Maddie yet.”

Eddie wouldn’t be surprised if the sheer amount of joy coursing through his veins was making him float a couple inches off the ground. “Is that a yes then?” he asks.

Buck’s laugh is loud and sharp, and Eddie can’t think of a more perfect sound. He takes the ring out and tosses the box aside, holding it up next to the one in Eddie’s hand. “Only if you’ll marry me too.”

It’s a flurry, then, of rings on fingers and breathless kisses and whispers of I love you, I love you so much. The whirlwind settles and they start swaying to the music again, holding each other even closer, and Eddie revels in the new weight on his hand that ties them together. He feels light and loved, completely enveloped in this romance that he’s finally able to give fully and receive just as well. 

Buck takes his hand and places a kiss just below his ring, and Eddie knows this is just the beginning. They have a lifetime of love and happiness ahead of them, and Eddie finally feels like he deserves it.

[uncpanda]

About Time

AN: Continuing with characters I’ve never written before have a Spencer Reid one shot. Tomorrow's prompt is making valentines day cards. Do you guys have any suggestions for who that should be? Let me know! 

Prompt: The Most Romantic Date Ever 

You stare at the pack of cigarettes in your hand. It had taken you three months to quit last time, and you hadn’t had one in years. But right now, at this moment, you wanted nothing more. 

“You’re not really going to do it, are you?” You look up to see Spencer watching you. His head is cocked to the side.

“Thinking about it.” 

“We both know the withdrawal is horrible, and the likelihood of you successfully quitting again would be low. Enough of those and your lungs will start to go, and then you won’t be able to work in the field anymore. You’ll be forced to teach.” He holds out his hand. 

It’s a cold dose of reality. You slap the pack down into his outstretched palm. He’s quick to drop the pack to the ground, and crush it with his shoe. There’s six bucks down the drain. You lean back against the wall, and he goes to stand next to you. 

“Sometimes, these cases just get to me.” 

“You wouldn’t be human if they didn’t.” 

You suck in a deep breath. “Today is Valentine’s day, did you know that?” He nods, “It’s also the two year anniversary of my first date with Liam. When I told Liam we had a case, he kept asking if I would be back in time for today. He had this huge romantic night planned; dinner at that new fancy restaurant downtown, dancing, a carriage ride. He even got a hotel room. He called it the most romantic date ever.” 

“You guys have been together for two years. It’s nice that he did that right?” 

You don’t meet Spencer’s gaze, “He got mad. I kept telling him we could do it another time, that I loved him and that’s what mattered.” 

“But?” 

You turn to look at Spencer, “He pulled out a ring.” 

“And you said no.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek for a few seconds to ground you, “He made an ultimatum, him or my job. I don’t blame him. All of my time is spent with the job or the team. He went on and on about how he has to be the third wheel when he goes out with his friends, and how he doesn’t deserve to be left alone, and . . .” 

“And he was trying to manipulate you. He’s always trying to do that.” 

You narrow your eyes at him, “What?” 

Spencer clears his throat, “He likes to go big, make big gestures and then make you feel guilty when you have to work. Nevermind the fact that when you’re actually home he goes out the bar most nights. Plus, he lies. Badly. He has several tells, and work isn’t going as well for him as he’d have you believe.” 

You blink a few times, “How long have you been holding that in?” 

He lets out a breath, “So long. We all hate the guy.” 

“And you held that in for two years.” 

He shrugs, “You seemed happy. And it was only about eight months ago that we started noticing some less than stellar behavior. Rossi made us promise to keep our mouths shut. Said if you’re happy that’s all that mattered.” 

You consider his words, “What does it say about me that I didn’t catch that?” 

“That you were in love with him. That you wanted a part of your life that wasn’t surrounded by darkness or evil things. You look for the good in people, that’s not a bad thing.” 

There’s a moment of silence before you ask, “Did I miss him cheating on me?” 

Spencer shakes his head, “Not exactly. Morgan, Alvez, and Simmons caught him chatting up a girl in a bar one time. They set him straight and explained in detail what they could do to him if he cheated. But that was more for your safety because of STD’s and stuff. Hotch and Rossi followed up with him after that.” 

“And you still didn’t say anything?” 

“Wasn’t our place.” 

You roll your eyes and grab Spencer’s hand. You drag him back into the small police station that you’re at, in the middle of nowhere, for this case. You close the door to the conference room everyone is in and get their attention. “The next time I’m dating a jerk, or someone I’m dating turns into a jerk, please tell me.” 

Everyone’s eyes go to Reid, and he holds his hands up in surrender, “She broke up with him, she was about to smoke. I was trying to be comforting.” 

JJ rounds on you, “You were about to smoke?” 

Derek shakes his head, “No. Not again. We had a bitch of a time getting you to quit last time. You were like a lion with a thorn stuck in your paw for a month.” 

“I was not that bad.” 

Hotch’s lips twitch, “Albuquerque swore they would never invite us back.” 

“Focus please! Liam proposed, gave me an ultimatum between you guys and him. I chose you guys. That is my valentine present to you.” 

There are a bunch of awws, and Dave is quick to give you a fatherly hug. “Yeah, yeah. Enough about my disaster of a personal life, let’s catch a serial killer.” 

You don’t make much more progress, and by the time you get back to the hotel it’s nearly eleven pm. You’re quick to wash the failure of the day off, pour a glass of wine and climb into your comfy pajamas. You’ve just taken your first sip of wine when there’s a knock on your door. If it’s Hotch with a lead, you’re going to kill him. It isn’t. It’s Spence with two plastic bags filled to the brim. 

“I thought that you might like some company. It is Valentine’s day after all.” 

You step to the side and let him in. He’s nervous and that has you curious. He starts pulling things out of the bags, “I got a bunch of junk food that I know you like, and those no sugar ginger ales. Not sure why you like those but I got them.” 

You sit down on the bed and watch him, “I also got you this. It’s a love bug. And I know it’s strange but you like soft things and he was soft. I thought he might make you feel better. Now they didn’t have a large movie section and everything they did have, was horrible, but we could always stream. . .” 

You don’t hear anything else because it hits you then. Spencer Reid, your best friend of five years is in love with you. It’s obvious now that you look back on it. The two of you had bonded over nerdy stuff, you liked to listen to his facts, he always came when you called, and vice versa. It had killed you when he had been in that jail. And the idea of loving Spencer Reid back sends a warm feeling through you.  

You go up on your knees, bunch your fingers in his shirt and drag him down for a kiss. His reaction is automatic: his hands cup your face and he eagerly responds. When you pull back you smile, “You should have told me sooner Spence. We wasted a lot of time.” 

He smiles, “I just wanted you to be happy.” 

“I know, but we could have a genius baby or two by now.” 

He laughs and pulls you down on the bed with him, “We still have time.” 

The two of you curl up in bed and stream a movie on your tablet. With your head on his chest you tell him, “He was wrong.” 

“Who?” 

“Liam. He called his date the most romantic date ever. He was wrong; this is the most romantic date ever.” 

Spence smiles and presses a kiss to the top of your head and says, “To be fair he was wrong 90% of the time.” And you can’t help but laugh.

[cocosstories]

Pete Davidson One Shot

Pete Davidson Valentines Day

Warning: Smut

With Valentine's day falling on a Sunday, the day after a SNL taping, you had told your boyfriend Pete, it wasn't necessary to celebrate.

"Just being at the show with you is enough babe. Honestly, people make too big of a fuss over this holiday anyways."

You had said and honestly ment it. Pete was quite the romantic guy, always surprising you with little gestures, so you didn't need a specified day for him to go crazy, especially when he had to work.

The show was great. Pete had a weekend update spot that was hilarious, as usual, ending it with a quick little side note about you.

"Before I go Che, I would like to say a huge Happy Valentines Day to the love of my life Y/N. You have been with me through so much in the last two years and helped me to become a man I can be proud of. I love you so much baby."

He finishes with a huge collective 'Awww' and applause from the audience along with Che and Colin both looking a bit surprised with the sincere nature of the message.

"Wow Pete, that was really beautiful. Y/N is a lucky girl."

Che says, still a bit in shock.

"Yeah she is, and lucky for me, she didn't run when she found out my penis was only three inches."

He adds, the crowd erupting with laughter.

"Ah, there he is. Pete Davidson everybody!"

Che laughs and Pete rolls off the set and walks over to you.

Still laughing, he walks up and asks what you thought.

"You are the sweetest man I have ever met but come on babe, your penis is four inches. Well almost. Don't short yourself."

You joke and Pete kisses you with a chuckle.

The rest of the show went by in a blur and soon, it was time to head home, back to your shared apartment in the city. You were tired but so happy you got to spend the night with your love.

As you make your way off the elevator and towards your door and notice a envelope taped to it. You turn and look to Pete who shrugs with a big smile on his face.

"Pete, what did you do?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe you have a secret admirer or something."

He tries to sound innocent but you can see right through it. You pull the envelope from the door and open it, pulling out a beautiful card.

'I love you so much and cannot imagine my life without you. Anytime I try, its like a nightmare and I have to reach for you to make sure its not real. You are the love of my life, my best friend and everything I could have ever asked for and more. Thank you for saving my life. I will spend the rest of my life repaying you for the gift that you have given me, if you will have me. Turn around."

Tears well up in your eyes as you read the thoughtful and heartfelt words Pete had written for you. You read the last two words and turn back towards the door that is now open.

String lights hang from the ceiling, flameless candles line a pathway leading from the door towards the living room which is just out of view.

Rose petals are scattered all around as your eyes land on Pete who is in the middle of it all, down on one knee, holding a small velvet box.

Your hands fly to your face, covering your mouth as the tears break free and stream down your face.

"Pete..."

You get out just as he opens the box, revealing the most beautiful and perfect ring you could have ever imagined.

"The card pretty much says everything. I love you Y/N. You are the reason the pain from the past is nothing more than a distant memory. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes! Yes! Of course I will marry you Pete!"

Pete stands up and you jump into his arms, kissing all over his face.

A moment later, he sets you back on your feet and placing the ring on your shaking hand.

"Its perfect Pete. I love it."

You stare at the new accessory on your finger then look up at Pete.

"How did you do all of this?"

He leads you further in the apartment after closing the door and you notice more of the new decor.

As you get to the living room, you see what looks like a big air mattress against the couch and surrounded by a lighted set of curtains made to be a makeshift tent hanging from the ceiling. The mattress covered in blankets and pillows and a serving tray sitting in the middle with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries.

Right next to the tray, is two sets of matching heart one piece pajamas and a stack of what you can only assume is romance movies.

"My mom and Casey came over after we left. They really came through huh?"

Pete wraps you in his arms from behind as you take the whole scene in.

"I can't believe they did all of this. Its beautiful, I love it."

You walk over to the makeshift bed and pick up the matching pajama sets, handing one to Pete before going to the bedroom to change.

Once you are both in the pajamas, you join Pete on the air mattress. Pete has picked a movie and pour you each a glass of champagne.

"Happy Valentines day baby."

You say, tapping his glass with yours before taking a sip.

"Happy Valentines day my love."

He says after taking a sip himself.

You lean in to kiss him, letting the whole day wash over you and fuel the already deep burning fire you feel for your future husband.

Breaking from your lips for just a moment, Pete takes the tray between you and carefully moves it and your champagne glasses off the bed to the coffee table that has been moved off to the side.

You watch as he unzips his pajamas then powers himself back down, hovering over you with one hand holding his body weight as the other unzips your pajamas.

You shimmy out of the pajamas and Pete goes to work on your body, his lips connecting with your neck and not leaving your body until he reaches your lace panties.

He looks into your eyes, his filled with fire as he pulls them down, your legs already shaking in anticipation.

"So wet already Princess. All for me?"

He licks his lips as he pulls off his boxers, freeing his excited member.

"Pete, I need you. Please baby I need you inside me."

You look up with begging eyes and he finally gives into your wishes, pushing inside of you as you moan out, gripping the blankets around you.

The two of you find a rhythm quickly, you wrap your legs around his waist pulling him deeper inside of you as you dig your nails into his back.

"Fuck babe, you're so tight. Shit."

Pete groans out as you buck your hips wildly as you scream his name, begging for more as you feel the sweet release so close.

Moments later, you and Pete come together, riding out your highs with sloppy kisses and easy thrusts.

You end the night in his arms, lightly kissing his chest and looking at your ring again.

"So, when would you like to make it official?"

Pete asks, pulling you out of your thoughts. You look up as him with a smile, thinking for a second.

"Tomorrow."

You answer, half joking. Pete kisses your forehead with a chuckle.

"For real though, soon. I cannot wait to become Mrs. Pete Davidson."

He takes your hand in his, kissing it lightly, just under your ring.

"Whenever you want my love. Just tell me when and where and I'll be there. Even if its just a justice of the peace on a Tuesday afternoon. I don't care. I just want you to be my wife."

You knew he meant it. No matter what you wanted he would be fine with. All that mattered was spending the rest of your life with the man you love.

[babyboibucky]

i wanna know what would bucky do in valentine's day when reader tells him that she feels lonely because everyone around her has a s/o and she's just watching them (totally not self indulgent pfft)... can you pls give me something? 🥺💗

I love you so much, Elif and I can totally relate to this so like I promised, I'll make a proper drabble out of this with College!Bucky!

-

You and Bucky agreed to keep romance out of the way after your friendship turned into something more. No weird shit, no nothing. Although the dynamics changed, with the both of you being more intimate with each other, it was only limited to that. There was no holding hands, no carrying your bag while walking, no flowers and definitely no pet names.

It was working well, given that you didn't want any commitment at the moment too. But then everybody around you seemed to be getting into relationships or into the dating scene, which was something you noticed when Valentine's Day was right around the corner.

The previous years, you either spent it with Wanda or Bucky like any other normal day. Go to the mall if it fell on a weekend, stay in for movie night (romcoms were not allowed) or just hang around the campus and judge every Valentine's Day effort by rating them from one to ten.

This year proved to be different though, because it fell on a Sunday and no one seemed to be available to spend it with you. Not that it was obliged, but given the traditions from the past few years, you always spent it with someone.

Wanda's boyfriend Vis flew in from the UK, so they have been together since Friday. Bucky was out of the options because his mom asked him to come home to help out with their house renovations. Steve obviously had Peggy to celebrate it with and Sam decided to try one of those speed dating events set up by one of the university's active organizations.

And that leaves you with no one.

You should be fine, you didn't like grand gestures anyway. You weren't a big fan of the holiday anyway, so you stayed in and scrolled through your Facebook and Instagram accounts, only to be bombarded with images of couples, teddy bears, roses and all that shit.

Steve posted a story of him and Peggy out on a date at an amusement park. Wanda uploaded a photo of her and Vis during lunch. Even Sam seemed to have met someone at the speed dating thingy, posting a photo of a beautiful red-head in his stories.

It was unlike you to feel a pang of jealousy that most of your friends had their special person to celebrate the holiday with. But you felt lonely, you admitted to yourself. You hated how you were feeling but it was the truth.

You felt lonely and alone.

when u coming back?

You knew Bucky wouldn't be back until tomorrow morning, but you texted him anyway. You didn't receive a reply.

Sulking alone at your dorm definitely eased the loneliness, given that you fell asleep. You were planning to sleep again but then you noticed something odd on top of your bedside table. Then you heard shuffling noises and whispered curses.

You sat up on your bed and rubbed the sleep off from your eyes. Bucky was in your room, his back turned to you while he was sticking poorly shaped paper hearts on your wall. On the floor were blankets and pillows forming some sort of a fort. The odd thing on your bedside table was a mini projector, you realized.

"Buck?" you rasped out.

"Oh shit, you're awake!" Bucky hissed, turning around to face you.

"The fuck are you doing? And I thought you wouldn't be back until tomorrow?" you asked again.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck before shrugging, "I got your text and knew that you might be, you know, feeling...things." he explained.

"And I know we said no romantic shit, but can we make today an exception?" he asked sincerely, not an ounce of mockery or whatsoever.

"You wanna celebrate V-Day with me?" you asked.

Bucky rolled his eyes, "I would've celebrated it with you annually but you often hung out with Wanda."

"So are we gonna fuck or what?" you asked.

Bucky made a face, "No. I mean, I would love to. But I don't want my efforts to go to waste. I wanted a movie night, I even bought cheap popcorn for us." he said.

You merely stared at Bucky before taking in your surroundings. He really did all of this just because he knew how you were feeling on this day. Just by reading your text. It didn't even give away that much, you just asked him when he was coming back and yet he instantly knew what you needed.

"Thank you." you whispered.

Bucky grinned, "Happy Valentine's Day!" he greeted, handing you a paper bag.

"You bought me a gift too?!" you asked, snatching the paper bag.

"Not really. Well. Just open it." he said.

Opening the paper bag, you saw Bucky's grey hoodie that you loved to wear.

"I didn't wash it because I know you like how it smells. I mean, technically, I did wash it and then I wore it yesterday and then removed it. It's not dirty, if that's what you're worried about." he reassured.

You chuckled, "Ugh, whatever. Thanks, Buck. I appreciate this." you smiled.

Bucky went into the blanket and pillow fort, waiting for you sit next to him. You fixed the projector and decided on a movie before connecting your phone to it.

Just as when the movie was about to start, you realized something.

"Bucky, the popcorn." you said.

"Oh yeah, let's pop it."

"We don't have a microwave here."

-

THIS GOT SUPER LONG?????? LMFAO BUT I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS????????? ANYWAY ILYSM MWAH

[graceilia]

[staticscreenwriting]

Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes // 5

Five - Dirty Dancing

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

Bucky wakes up to music. It's playing from outside the room, echoing through the halls and filling the apartment with sound.

It reminds him of when he was a kid and his mom would make them all breakfast as the radio would softly play in the background. She'd always have a smile on her face and twirl around the kitchen and sometimes, when they were still little enough, she'd pick up him or one of his sisters and slowly sway along with them in her arms.

It's a hazy memory, he's barely able to grasp it, but it's there nonetheless and that makes all the difference.

Rays of sun flood the apartment, coloring it in hues of orange and gold. Bucky steps out of (Y/N)’s room and into the hallway from which he can see straight into the kitchen. (Y/N)’s standing by the stove, a frilly pink apron wrapped around her waist and spatula in hand. Her hips shake slightly to the beat of the song and her lips move along with the lyrics.

Bucky wonders if he’ll ever get that. This feeling of pure comfort in his own home. To find who he really is and allow himself to be that person, no inhibitions, no holding back. Just be himself and be confident in who that might be.

“ You can keep standing there like a creep or you can come over here and help me, grumpy”

At the sound of her voice, he jumps a little, too lost in could-bes and what-ifs to realize she’s long noticed him leaning against the doorway. Her hair is a mess and there’s still eyeliner and glitter from last night stuck to her skin. But Bucky thinks she’s never looked better. It’s an intimate moment, to watch her in all her imperfect ways, move around her own home, being the most comfortable and at ease she’s ever been. There’s something about the way she looks at him then, showered in golden sunlight, a bright smile on her face. Bucky knows what it is he feels, deep down inside of him, flickering up like a light in the dark. He knows what it is. It’s not a feeling you forget once you’ve felt it.

He’s not gonna say it though, not gonna admit it to himself or anyone. All that can come from it is misery and heartbreak and while his heart is of very little value to him, hers means everything. So he’ll ignore it, shove it to the deepest darkest corner of himself and try not to acknowledge it in hopes it’ll go away.

“ You’re cooking? “ he asks as he steps up next to her, eyebrows raised in uncertainty.

“I’m making pancakes, and don’t look at me like that!” (Y/N) replies, swatting him with a dish towel, “ I know my cookies weren’t the best and I am well aware that my coffee sucks. But if there’s one thing I can make, it’s pancakes. Trust me. “

He does trust her. It’s something that he only fully realizes at that moment. Such an insignificant little moment. He trusts her, which is terrifying but also liberating at the same time. Maybe his life is on the right path. Maybe things can get better. Step by tiny step.

“ Hey, I ate your cookies, didn’t I? “

She looks up at him, a small smile playing on her lips, eyes shining with — something he can’t quite place. Maybe, he thinks, maybe he doesn’t need to know what it means. It means something and that's all that counts in the grand scheme of things.

“Yeah, yeah you did.”

For a moment it’s just them and the music and the bliss of a morning spent with a friend.

“ Okay, hand me the batter please?” (Y/N) says and points towards a big blue bowl standing by on the counter to his right. As he hands it to her though, (Y/N) doesn’t immediately start pouring the batter, instead, she dips her finger into it and holds it out to Bucky.

“ Try it, tell me if it’s too sweet. “

He’s hesitant for a moment. You don’t just go around licking your friends’ fingers. Surely social cues haven’t changed that much. But when she moves her hand closer once again and adds a determined “taste it before it drips onto the floor”, he wraps his lips around her finger, tasting the sweet pancake batter. It’s not too sweet, not at all, it’s perfect. He can’t really voice that thought though, not when his mind is somewhere else entirely. Somewhere it really shouldn’t be.

At that moment Bucky feels something he hasn’t felt in forever — arousal.

“ Good? “ she questions him as she pours the batter into the pan, a sizzling sound filling the kitchen.

Buck nods, completely at a loss for words. This is entirely silly and inappropriate. You’re not supposed to feel those things for your friends. Wasn’t this exactly what they talked about in the Harry and Sally movie? Sex ruining friendships. He can’t and won’t let that happen. Not with (Y/N). Not when he’s just starting to trust her. He needs this friendship more than he cares to admit.

“Grumpy? “

“ Hmm? Oh uh — yeah it’s good. “

And it is good, too good to give up. Too good to jeopardize it for some fleeting sense of passion. Too good to ever let go.

It’s ridiculous of him to put any sensual notions to such a silly little gesture. These things can be friendly. Innocent. People probably do it all the time with no ulterior motives. Maybe he needs to go with the times, let go of antiquated morals. Yeah, surely that’s what he’s gotta do.

They’re sitting by the kitchen counter, (Y/N)’s plate licked clean while Bucky is struggling to finish his pile of pancakes.

“ Do you want the rest of mine? “

“ Did you not like them? “

“ No, I did! I ate an entire pile already. But I can see the way you’re lusting after them. Come on. Open up. “

He cuts off a piece, lathers it in the syrup pooling on his plate, and holds it out towards her. Nothing sexual about it, just two friends sharing food. Absolutely nothing sensual about the way her lips wrap around the fork, they’re still tinted red from last night. Absolutely no dirty thoughts as the syrup drips down her chin. Or when she uses her thumb to wipe it away then licks the sticky liquid off of her fingers. All innocent. All —

“ Have you ever seen 9 ½ weeks? “ she asks him, looking up at him through her thick lashes.

“ No. What’s it about? “

“ Um — “ she starts then laughs to herself as if she’s sharing a funny inside joke with herself “ nevermind. “

“ Noooo, you can’t just start something and then not give me an explanation” he declares as the two of them get up and put the dishes into the dishwasher.

“ You know, Grumpy. There are a few things you better figure out on your own, trust me.”

“ Now you’re just being mean. “

“ No, I’m not I — “ her eyes grow wide as the song changes again and a big bright smile overtakes her entire face. Messy hair, makeup smudged, a smile on her face. God, he wishes they could stay in this little bubble forever. Hurt doesn’t exist here. Only them. Only happy things.

“ I forgot Dirty Dancing.”

“ What? “

“ You don’t know Dirty Dancing. “

“ I know plenty of dancing, thank you very much.”

“ No, Bucky. It’s a movie. It’s one of the most famous romantic movies and I forgot about it. I made a list of all the movies I wanna watch with you but didn’t think of Dirty fucking dancing. Sorry for swearing.”

“ You made a list? “

“ Yes, Grumpy. I made a list because I take this very seriously and I intend to make you watch them all with me because — because it’s fun and I like spending time with you. “

People, Bucky thinks, often take the smallest things for granted. The smallest things that make the most impact. That you will remember forever and cherish with all your heart. Like this one. People also don’t tell each other enough how much their friendships actually mean to them. People should. It feels wonderful.

“ I like spending time with you too.”

She grants him another sunshine smile before grabbing his hands and dancing along to the song. It’s faster than their late-night sway on the balcony, way less coordinated and there’s more jumping on her part and more shaking of — pretty much every body part.

This is so her. Chaotic and a little messy but so unapologetic. So fun. So happy.

“ Because IIIIII've haaaaaad the time of myyyyyy lifeeeee. No I neeeeeever felt this way before. Yes I swear it's the truuuuuuuuth. And I ooooowe it all to youuuuuu.”

“ That’s a catchy song,” Bucky says as a smile finds a way onto his lips. Sometimes it feels nice to surround yourself with people who make you smile. It’s one of the little pleasures in life one should allow themself to indulge in.

Bucky wishes he could bottle up this moment and never let go of it. Keep it for himself forever. That’s the thing about losing your memories, it makes you realize how precious every moment is and it makes you want to hold on tightly to each and every one as they happen.

“Right? I can guarantee you’ll be humming this song all day.”

(Y/N) twirls herself under his arm, away from him, then back before her eyes fall onto his glove-covered hands.

“ You don’t have to wear them for me, you know that, right? “

Sometimes he doesn’t even remember he’S wearing them, it’s become such a regular thing to him now. They are a part of him like the arm itself. They’re a shield really. From looks and judgment. And maybe, if he’s being entirely true to himself, they’re also to keep his eyes from focusing too much on the shiny silver of his hand. Of the fact that he will never be whole again. That he will never be able to feel a loving touch there ever again.

“ I know. It’s not you I’m worried about. “

“ Is it you? “

Bucky scrunches his nose up in discomfort. Talking about feelings wasn’t really a thing back when he was younger, especially for men. Sure there had been late-night talks with Steve about god and the world. About their hopes and fears and about the future. But those were few and far between and really opening himself up was never one of Bucky’s strong points. Talking about your feelings makes you vulnerable and being vulnerable was the last thing Bucky was ever allowed to be back then.

But as he said before, maybe it’s time to give up on antiquated ways.

So he nods “ Yeah. It’s — I still have a complicated relationship with the arm. I know it’s part of me and I’m glad it was given to me but it’s a huge reminder of all that I’ve lost and of a version of me that I can never go back to. A man I can never be again.”

“ Bucky,” (Y/N) starts and takes his face in between her hands. It’s a touch so soft, he can’t remember ever being handled this gently. Like a baby bird. Like a piece of porcelain. Like a treasure too precious to break. “I will never be able to fully understand how you’re feeling and I know that some of those things you have to go through alone and do the work yourself. But let me tell you something. Whoever you used to be might be gone but there’s a long-ass future waiting and it lets you be whoever you want to be. Maybe it’s time to let go of the man you were and start being the man you are because that one’s pretty great. And your arm is as much a part of that greatness as your smile or your constant grumpy mood. It’s what makes you you and you are really cool, honestly. “

His heart beats faster and stops entirely all at the same time. When he was younger he used to relish in the compliments thrown his way. He gracefully accepted them all with a knowing smirk playing on his lips. Nowadays it’s hard to believe them. Hell, it was so hard to have faith in Steve’s words. To believe that he was really worth all the effort and trouble Steve and the others went through, for him of all people. It’s so hard believing you are worth something when all you can see are your wrongdoings and shortcomings.

He wants to believe her words though. If only for a moment. If only for right now, safe and sound in their little bubble as the sun filters through the windows and the tastes of syrup still lingers in his tongue.

A few days later...

“They’re screening Dirty Dancing at the cinema around the block from me! Starts at 8pm. Come meet me, I won’t take no for an answer! xx “

He reads the message and tries to remember the way he felt that morning a few days ago when they danced around her kitchen. When she told him he was worth something. When she made him believe he wasn’t the actual worst person walking this earth. A disgrace. A mistake. A killer.

But every time he tries to go back to the bubble, a different pair of eyes show up in his mind. Eyes filled with sadness, with unimaginable suffering, with grief. All of which he put there.

He ran into Yori last night on his way home. The old man looked more fail than usual, sadder, more tired. Bucky found out why a few minutes later when he asked Yori about the cake in his grocery bag. The one with the white and green frosting.

“ It would be my son’s birthday today. I know he’s not here anymore but he was crazy about these cakes ever since he was a kid. Felt like remembering him. Would you like to join me for a piece? “

Bucky made up some half-assed excuse why he couldn’t, rushed to his apartment, and had a full-on breakdown. The kind that you don’t realize is happening until you’re all the way in the center of the hurricane.

There are shards of glass on his floor from when he threw a bottle against the wall. It’s a shame when you can’t even drown your sorrows in alcohol. His cheeks, he’s sure, are stained with tears that he had kept inside for so long.

How could he ever spend another second with (Y/N) when this is the kind of person he is. Brainwashing or not. The blood of Yori’s son is on his hands. Yori’s pain is his doing. All this grief and this hurt. It’s his fault and his alone. And Yori is just one of so many.

(Y/N) deserves a friend that doesn’t have a body count. Someone who doesn’t know what it feels when someone loses their life at his hands. Someone who doesn’t go to sleep seeing the eyes of those he’s killed. Someone who isn’t him.

His phone rings and he expects it to be (Y/N). She’s one of those people that text you then immediately call you right after. She likes to talk. In-person or over the phone. He doesn’t know if he wants to answer. Doesn’t know what to say. Would it be easier to just tell her not to contact him again? To rip off the bandaid quickly and then deal with the pain afterward?

Before he can come up with an answer to any of those questions, his eyes register the name on the caller display.

“ What?” he grumbles and leans his head against the wall.

“ Well, aren't you a happy chappy today. “

“ Sam, now’s not a good time. “

Sam hesitates for a moment then his voice sounds out from the speakers again.

“ Hey, Bucky. Are you okay? “

For a second, Bucky thinks about saying yes. He wants to keep on pretending the way he did so many times before. Wants to deal with this all by himself and not have anyone else get caught in his mess.

But he can’t. He’s tearing at the seams. He’s barely holding himself together, cracking open more and more with each passing second. So he takes a deep breath and tells the truth.

“ No. No, I’m not. “

30 minutes. No actually 34 minutes. He’s 34 minutes late. In fact, he hasn’t even answered her god damn text. He’s read it. Hasn’t answered though. And while that’s not entirely unlike Bucky, it still annoys her. Especially since when she tried to call him, the line was busy. So surely he’s on his phone. Is it too much to ask for a little reply?

If he doesn’t want to come, that's no big deal, (Y/N) tells herself, but a quick text would be the bare minimum he could give her.

Pout on her face and mood soured, (Y/N) enters the cinema and slumps down onto one of the plush red velvet seats. Not even in the mood for popcorn anymore, thanks Bucky.

There are hardly any people in there with her. Probably because by now almost every person on this planet has seen Dirty Dancing before and the weather is actually quite nice out tonight so most would rather enjoy the last rays of sun before winter will fall upon them than be stuck in a dark stuffy cinema watching a decade-old movie.

Not her though.

And if Bucky thinks she’s gonna miss out on watching this classic masterpiece because he can’t be bothered to show up, well he’s gravely mistaken. And yeah, maybe she’s being a bit dramatic, there might be a perfectly valid explanation for his no-show. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

What happens if he actually goes on to date Leah? He’ll have less time for her that’s for sure. Movie dates won’t be happening then. Maybe it’s good she’s getting used to this now before she grows too close to him and breaks her own heart in the process of mending his.

She hates herself a little for those thoughts. Bucky deserves to be happy and if that means their friendship will be put on the backburner, then she should be okay with that, right? That’s what friends do, they want you happy no matter what it means for themself.

The Ronettes’ Be My Baby starts echoing through the room as the lights dim and (Y/N) sinks deeper into her seat, embracing the dark. The screen lights up with a black and white montage of people dancing and a swirly pink font spells out the actors' names. (Y/N) can’t wait to get lost in this picture-perfect version of real-life where things might seem bad but turn out right in the end. They always turn our right for these people. If only real life was this easy.

She’s so ready to just forget about all her troubles for the next 90 minutes.

And then a figure steps in front of the screen, nothing but a silhouette. A black shadow in front of the moving pictures. A shape she immediately recognizes.

“ Come on, dude. What the hell!” some guy in front of her yells out to Bucky, immediately following the words with a fistful of popcorn being thrown his way.

He’s here. He’s here and he’s obviously looking for her. She can’t make out his face but he’s shielding his eyes with his hands and letting his gaze wander over the crowd.

There’s a flutter in her stomach, one she knows oh too well. One she wants to bundle up and stuff to the very back of her being. A flutter that shouldn’t be there. That’s not what this is. Butterflies and goosebumps. This is eating spaghetti on the floor, dancing in the kitchen, and crying tears of laughter in IKEA. That’s what it is and what it should be. Right? But that doesn’t mean they can’t be affectionate. Right? That doesn’t mean they have to be cold and stoic and distant.

Right?

As (Y/N) reaches up her arms and waves, Bucky hurries down the platform and lets himself plop down in the seat next to her.

“ I’m sorry I was — “

“ It’s okay. You’re here now. “

That’s what matters. Being there. Just being there.

“ You deserve to have a friend, Bucky.” Sam said “ and she deserves to make her own decisions. If she decides you’re worth it, who are you to question that choice?”

Sam is right. Of course, he is. Despite how much Bucky hates to admit it, Sam is one of the smartest people he knows. Not in the way Tony or Bruce or Shuri are. Smart in a way that lets you know he gets you, he understands the chaos inside you, empathizes with it. He’s got this sense of incredible emotional awareness and a calm that exudes from him. Bucky will obviously never let him know this but talking to Sam feels more soothing and helpful than talking to his therapist.

He still doesn’t feel like he deserves her friendship, her affection, and her care. But really it would be foolish to think it’s his right to dictate who she can and can't care about.

Sitting beside her now, in the dark, with a movie playing on the big screen, makes things a bit easier. His thoughts aren’t so loud anymore and his heart, though still heavy, feels a little bit lighter. It’s easy to get lost in a story that’s not his and forget about the rest.

He almost forgets about his emotional turmoil by the time the two main characters dance around on a log, when he feels something against his left hand. First, it’s but a whisper of a touch, then more deliberate and then he feels the glove being slid off of his fingers. He doesn’t dare look over at her, eyes focused straight ahead. He doesn’t pull away though. There’s never been a touch quite so gentle against the cold vibranium metal. He doesn’t pull away, instead, he locks his fingers with hers and softly closes his fist.

If there’s moments worth holding onto, this is surely one of them.

“ I’m glad you came.” (Y/N) murmurs as she places her head against his shoulder. The one made of vibranium. The one that’s a part of him like his smile and his eyes and — his grumpy personality.

“ Yeah, me too.”

As Johnny and Baby give their all during the end of the season dance, Bucky can’t help but let himself relish in this moment.

There are two things on his mind.

One is the idea that maybe this is what friendship can be. Showing affection through soft touches and loving words. Maybe he doesn’t have to assign any deeper meaning to it. No matter how much it makes his heart beat faster or how the flutters in his stomach won't seem to settle down.

The other thing is the fact that this song is so damn catchy and while he hates himself a little for it, his feet tap along to the rhythm and he catches himself mouthing along to the lyrics.

And damn if it ain’t fitting because he has never felt this way before either.

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[insaneasgardian]

Haircut Of Love - Sambucky

Summary: Confessions are made, and lives are changed the day Sam gives Bucky a haircut.

Genre: FLUFF

Warnings: Bucky being slightly sad while thinking of Steve, Bucky thinking that his feelings for Sam are unrequited (they're not), Idiots in love.

A/N: I have actually worked on this for longer than I should've XD A big thank you to @cassiecasyl and @aixabi for being such great friends and helping me out by proofreading, and making suggestions!

He knew he should've stopped Bucky tagging along, but the moment that infamous, "I'm coming with you!" so eagerly left the super soldier's lips, Sam knew it was pointless to persuade him to stay behind.

Not that he really minded, the mission he'd been assigned with was a tough one, and it would've been lonely if Bucky hadn't been so adamant about accompanying him.

Sam stared into the fireplace and focused on the embers as he let his thoughts wander. There were some terrible people to be stuck with in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere, but Bucky certainly wasn't one of them. He was an interesting character for sure, and Sam was sure he still didn't know a whole lot about him, but their relationship had developed all the way from 'a couple of guys' to 'almost best friends'.

"Hey", came the voice of the man Sam had so deeply been thinking of. He turned around with that signature smirk he reserved especially for Bucky, and watched with delight as the White Wolf turned a light pink color, and it wasn't because of the cold.

"I thought you might want to catch a shower, the water's nice and warm" the brunette said, and Sam nodded as he noticed his friend's damp hair from his own shower.

"Man, you need a haircut" Sam remarked, and much to his pleasure elicited a chuckle from Bucky.

"Do I?"

"It has gotten kind of longer..."

"Well, it's not easy to find a hairdresser in the forest"

"I could cut it for you"

The words slipped from his mouth before he could stop himself, and he didn't miss the way Bucky's widened ever so slightly. Sam internally scolded himself, feeling that he'd made things awkward somehow.

There was a slight pause in the atmosphere, but the ex Winter-Soldier eventually smiled. It was a weak smile, but genuine nonetheless.

"I'd like that," he told his friend, "would you mind?".

Sam shook his head, a bit too enthusiastically, and that made Bucky raise his eyebrows

“I can do it now if you want, so I don’t get your greasy ass hair all over me after I’ve gotten out of the shower”, Sam casually slipped in to look less ecstatic than he really was.

Bucky scoffed and crossed his arms at the statement, but his grin only grew wider.

“So… are you gonna give me something to cut your hair with?” his friend asked him, making a scissor snipping motion with his fingers.

The brunette’s lips tugged downwards into a frown and bit his lip as he often did when pondering. Sam couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to the bottom lip in between those pearly white teeth, but he forced himself to snap out of it.

After a brief moment, Bucky snapped the fingers on his vibranium arm and turned to walk towards the room he was staying in. “Wait there!”, he had instructed Sam, who had no intention of getting up from the comfortable position he was in anyway.

Promptly, Bucky had returned, clutching a pair of scissors that Sam immediately identified as a pair of Captain America themed kiddie scissors he had recently bought for his nephew, AJ. He burst out cackling.

“What’s so funny Samuel?” the White Wolf pouted, plopping next to his friend who was dying of laughter.

“You stole that from AJ didn’t you?” Sam pried, inwardly dancing at the thought that his secret crush would want something with his face on it.

“Psh, no… I permanently borrowed it, that’s all”, Bucky insisted, moving from the couch to sit on the floor in front of Sam’s legs so that the other man would be able to cut his hair with more ease.

“Mhm”, Sam hummed, already weaving a piece of Bucky’s hair between his fingers, and snipping it off, just like that. It seemed easy enough, so he kept on going, chopping bits of hair here and there, trimming the areas which really needed it, and taking care not to overdo the cut and end up making Bucky look bald in certain places. He was doing quite well considering that he was equipped with nothing but a pair of small, blunt kiddie scissors, which Sam was certain professional hairdressers did not use

A lovely period of pure silence fell in between the two men. The only sounds were the scissors delicately doing their job of cutting the brown locks, accompanied by the gentle crackle of the fireplace, creating a relaxing atmosphere.

“Steve used to cut my hair, you know… Used to do it all the time in the 40’s” Bucky said, breaking the silence. Sam froze in his movements, but only for a second. It was rare for this man, who had been through so much to talk about his past like this.

“We’d sit outside on the street in the summer, he’d be on a chair with his scissors and I’d sit down in front of him, punk gave a damn good haircut to be honest”, he continued, and Sam chuckled.

“People would give us dirty looks as they walked by, it wasn’t uncommon for people to think Steve and I were a couple, but it was frowned upon to be in a same-sex relationship back then… sometimes still is of course”, his tone was now sad, as if he wanted to admit something, but was refraining from doing so. Sam stopped what he was doing, and set down the scissors, obviously sensing the shift in the atmosphere.

“Still, Steve and I were just friends, that’s all he’d ever wanted to be anyway”, Bucky finally finished.

Sam got off the couch, and slipped down onto the floor next to the 107 year old. “And what about you? Did you ever want to be more than friends?”

Bucky ran a hand over his face, which donned a neutral expression, “It’s complicated Sam… I’d be into a girl one second and thinking about Steve the next”.

Sam gently nudged Bucky’s shoulder with his own, and gave him a small smile, “Bisexual then?”, he questioned.

The other man nodded, and looked at Sam with a grin now gracing his features, “Yea, but you know what? I forgot all about Steve…” he paused to dart his tongue out his mouth and wet his lips, “The day I met another guy I haven’t been able to stop thinking about”.

Sam’s world shattered the moment those words left Bucky’s lips. The thought that the man he had pined after for so long was yearning for another made him want to burst into tears right there. However, Sam Wilson was not the kind of man to be salty over the choices of others. So he kept on the smile he had been wearing the entire time his heart broke over and over again. Yet, he had been so absorbed in his own mind that he failed to notice the longing glances Bucky was shooting at him, the ones he had been giving Sam ever since he first met him.

“Happy you could get that sorted out for you man!” He said brightly, patting Bucky’s back and climbing back onto the couch to resume the haircut.

The ex winter soldier was dumbfounded. Had Sam not noticed how he felt? What if he had? What if he didn’t appreciate the advances?

There was stillness once more, but this time it was incredibly awkward. The two sat absorbed in the silence, no longer so focused on their own thoughts, but on every movement and action the other did.

“All done,” Sam finally said, and gestured towards the large wall mirror in the living room. Bucky looked into it, and nodded.

“You’ve done a nice job, thanks”, he mumbled.

“No problem” Sam told him, getting up from the couch. “I’m going to go take a shower now”, and with that, he rose and climbed the stairs to get to the bathroom. The footsteps faded away and when Bucky heard the bathroom lock click shut, he leaned his back against the couch with a sigh. He ran a tired hand over his face.

What had he done wrong? He’d watched all the movies, read all the books and listened to all the music Sam had suggested. He’d come to see Sam’s family as his own, he cherished Sarah, AJ and Cas with all his heart.

Hell, he’d even taken dating advice from Zemo…. Maybe that’s where he’d gone wrong.

Bucky wasn’t sure. He may have lost the charm he had back in the 40’s, but Sam had always accepted him for who he was. He never questioned Bucky’s past, or forced him to be more social and open. That’s the reason Bucky developed more than platonic feelings towards him. He was so easy to be around.

However, the white wolf figured that if Sam didn’t want anything to do with him romantically, the least he could do was to maintain the relationship status they had now. Not to mention, he had the perfect way to do that.

Mac and cheese. Sam’s favorite food.

A grin grew on his face as he scrambled to the kitchen. It was a tasty and easy thing to cook and would be done before Sam even got out of the shower. Bucky proceeded to locate all the necessary ingredients they had brought to the cabin, and got straight to work.

It wasn’t a difficult job at all. With his swift speed, and his mind set only on the task before him, he was done within minutes. He even managed to get two servings plated beautifully, and just in time too, because as he finished setting the table, Sam descended the stairs and made his way into the kitchen. A smile was drawn on his face at the smell of the meal, and all the previous tension seemed to have dissipated.

“Smells good in here!” he exclaimed, his eyes then landed on the beautifully presented plates of mac and cheese. He gasped and clapped his hands like an excited child, and Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. He thought it was adorable.

“Alright, alright, take a seat Sammy,” Bucky said, gesturing to the bar stools next to the kitchen island which the food rested on.

Both of them rushed to sit down and dig into their dinner. Bucky watched his friends expression as he took the first bite of his food.

Sam’s eyes closed in pure bliss, as his taste buds thanked him. “Buck, this is heaven in my mouth, tastes even better than what Sarah makes”.

Bucky blushed, but quickly tried to hide it with a chuckle, “Sarah’s my teacher, I owe it to her”.

Sam nodded at the statement, but commented no more on the topic. Instead, he took another bite and made eye contact with Bucky. “So… who’s this guy you’ve been crushing on?” he inquired.

Bucky was taken aback by the question, he blinked rapidly, “huh?” he mumbled, earning an eye roll from Sam.

“Listen man, I’ve never pressured you to tell me anything before, but we can’t pretend like that conversation didn’t happen” Sam said gently, setting his cutlery down, and reaching a hand over to place it on Bucky’s vibranium one.

The brunette gulped, closed his eyes, and took two deep breaths. He’d have to get it out. Or else it would slowly kill him to watch Sam find someone else. Even if his feelings were unrequited, the man had a right to know.

“It’s you” he said quietly before he could chicken out.

Sam slowly blinked, and shook his head, “Sorry, repeat that?”.

Bucky groaned and looked up from his plate which he’d been staring at the entire time. He gazed into Sam’s doe brown eyes with his own piercing blue ones, “It’s you! You’re the guy I’ve been crushing on!” he agitatedly replied.

Once more, there was that silence that seemed to be consuming the two of them so much lately. Bucky wanted to cry, to hide the humiliation. He was certain that Sam’s lack of words meant he didn’t feel the same, because Sam always had something to say.

“Forget it,” Bucky choked out, getting up from his seat, but Sam’s hand tightened its grip on his wrist, stopping him from getting away. The super soldier turned around slowly, trying not to make eye contact with Sam so that he wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes.

Then, all of a sudden, Sam rose from his seat and his lips met Bucky’s in what was a tender, loving kiss which shocked the latter, but he readily returned it. They stayed like that for a while, embracing each other as their arms snaked their way around each other's torsos. It was a moment neither of them wanted to break, but were forced to. Eventually, when they pulled apart gasping for air, they looked at each other in surprise, but merriment. Wide beams adorned both of their gorgeous faces, and their eyes glinted with excitement.

“So…” Bucky began, “you were desperate to get a piece of me, why, is it the new hair?” he said teasingly.

“The next time I give you a haircut, it’s gonna be turned into a mullet”, Sam threatened, making the other man raise his hands in surrender.

The mac and cheese was long forgotten as they clutched each other once again. Their hearts were bubbling and overflowing with love for one another, and it was not a love that was going to fizzle and die out. They fit perfectly in each other’s arms, like it’s where they belonged.

Two men, who had their own individual problems denying them a place to be truly content in the world, had finally found their refuge in each other.

Finit

[unholyplumpprincess]

Speak Up

A commission for @mintocchi ! Thank you so very much for your patience while I moved everything around :D

Summary: You and Crypto have been in a relationship for awhile now, and he's still got issues when trying to speak up for things that he wants. You always try to get him to voice his opinions and concerns, and somehow this leads to training him how via the bedroom. Or! In which Crypto needs to learn to stop being an actions over words guy or else you'll make him beg over and over again for what he wants.

Reblogs > Likes. Please Reblog if you hit Like :D

!!!Minors and ageless blogs dni or you will be blocked!!!

Fandom: Apex Legends

Relationship: Crypto/Reader

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, Reader is gender neutral and written with a vulva, they were originally supposed to be a cis gal but there’s no real language depicting them as strictly a gal!, Denial and forcing Crypto to beg and use his big boy words, P tame kink wise!

Words: 5k

___________________

Starstruck. 

That’s how you had first felt when you had met Crypto. 

You were a new camera operator on the set of the Apex games, someone who got all the good angles and made sure the drone cameras could really catch all the action. You’d met him the same season he’d been introduced, noting how he’d been cold and disregarding, yet appeared confident in himself. But his eyes, they’d been so...paranoid. Especially when you approached to introduce yourself as one of the camera operators. 

He’d regarded you with a short, quick nod. Odd, you’d thought. But that had quickly vanished when Elliott had taken you aside and chatted you up, an arm slung around your shoulder and a grin on his face. “Hey, don’t mind the kid, probably still jet lagged, dropships, bein’ legends and all- anyway sooooo I hear you operate those cameras now, huh? Make sure you get all my good angles- not that any of them are bad, just, you know, keep that attention on the money maker you feel me? The money maker being me, of course-” 

~Rest under the cut~

“Mirage.” Crypto’s voice had cut in between you two, watching as you both had turned and you could note his irritated look at Elliott before a much more apologetic one was glanced your way. “Apologies. He does not understand personal boundaries-” 

Elliott feigns a dramatic gasp, cutting Crypto off with his free hand against his own chest as if wounded. 

You stifle your laugh when Elliott keeps up the act, sputtering before pointing at Crypto accusingly. “Woah, woah, woah, I’ll have you know that I know this lovely thing. Used to be the tech head up iiiiiiin- audio, right?” He turns towards you after that, squeezing his arm around your shoulders in a friendly way as you beam at being remembered. 

“That’s right! I was actually hoping to speak to you, Crypto,” You gesture at him, noting Crypto’s light surprise of raised eyebrows before confusion and worry passes his features. Quick to overthink, huh? 

You’re quick to follow up to ease his possible fears. “N-not! Not as an employee, I mean, I just- your, uh, your drone. They kinda remind me of an old camera used back in the day and I was wondering if you had any tips or tricks I might be able to pick up on?” 

That’s what started the relationship in the first place. Crypto, that day, had offered merely a one shouldered shrug, but after Mirage giving him a look and whining to him like a puppy, he’d agreed. Resulting in you having your own private session with him as he helped you learn a few tips. You were already trained in operating the newer models, but having a few pointers never hurt. 

The entire time he’d asked questions about you, it almost felt like he was interrogating you rather than trying to start up curious small talk. But, to ease any fears he might have had about you having ulterior motives, you answered as honestly as possible to each one. Judging by his more paranoid nature, you didn’t ask any in turn for fear of him shying away. 

The least you wanted to do was make Crypto feel as though you were untrustworthy. 

As you two grew closer, the more relaxed he became around you. No more tips were to be given, so that excuse flew out the window, so you’d offered hang outs. It took a few tries until he finally mumbled he’d feel more comfortable in his room, which is where you two ended up being and you learned he had a sweet little cat named Isabella-Marie. 

You had smiled at her name, asking where he got the idea from, and he’d smiled softly- almost sadly when he’d said she was his sister’s cat he took in, but no more information. Said cat took to you nicely, and just as she had, Crypto started warming up to you as well. 

It was a slow, slow process. You took your time with him and learned that the personality he put on was nothing but a front. Something to keep more hidden. In private, he’s so soft, almost shy in his approach to you. He’s still got his sarcastic tongue, but he’s more playful when in private with you. Much like a cat. You see him opening up the slightest bit to people he’s starting to enjoy too- Elliott and Natalie both seem to have won some sort of favor with him. 

That friendship slowly worked its way into romantic. 

The first time you kissed him is with your hand cupping his cheek and his cheeks flushed red as his dark eyes flickered to your lips multiple times until you took initiative. It took a bit of coaxing to even get him to rest his hands on your waist, but once that had happened, it’s like he’d been so touch starved all his life. Clinging to you and sighing into your mouth as if he’d just sunken into bed after a long day. 

His need for touch didn’t surprise you considering when you offered hugs and snuggles that he’d melt into you and cling to you so tightly. Your height difference, with you being much shorter, made that kind of funny when he’d lean down to bury his face in your neck and you’d stand on your tiptoes to make it easier. All within a private setting- outside of these rooms, you were both strictly professional. 

Crypto’s name had been revealed to you not long after. Tae Joon Park. You both agreed that if you used it frequently that you might yell it in public, so it was reserved for more intimate moments or serious when you two were alone. You were mindful about switching his name, so you kept to using ‘Crypto’ in your head to ensure you wouldn’t fuck it up. 

Though, it never failed to delight you in hearing him sigh fondly when you’d mumble his name by his ear after a sweet kiss. 

Dates were more reserved for the bedrooms as well. You never minded that either, but sometimes on rare occasions, he’d don a mask and a hood so you two could go out. You could only imagine the type of anxiety those outings brought, but it always warmed your heart that he was willing to take a breath and push himself out to do these things for you. In turn, you would spend the nights with him, with his head on your chest and his arms squeezing around your middle. 

Crypto, you quickly find however, is really bad at vocalizing his desires. 

He’s a man of action, hardly using his words and if he did it was one worded or quick. You’ve been trying to help him on communication skills for both your sakes, but it’s more difficult on him. It doesn’t help that he’s quiet either, so sneaking up behind you to snake his arms around you normally results in you jumping and making a squeak sound. 

But it also meant that for more...bedroom activities, that he would use actions. You always knew when he wanted something, you weren’t blind to it, you just wanted to make 100% sure of what he wanted. Normally resulting in you straddling his lap, a hand around his neck and speaking low for him to tell you what he wanted. 

Crypto always got the cutest face anytime you took the reins and control. A healthy flush over his cheeks, his breathing heavier and his eyes pleading, but his mouth refusing. 

 Stubborn was a good way to put it. How his eyebrows would furrow and he’d whimper and buck his hips up, but not tell you what he wanted. It took a lot of trial and error to even get him to utter ‘please’ at times. Your poor baby. 

You especially found you liked teasing him. Learning quick that he liked nicknames like ‘Good boy’ and ‘Baby boy’. You enjoyed edging him, tying him up or even just making him cling to the sheets or his own hair as his hips humped the air and he sobbed without begging for you. Always trying so hard to convey in his body language what he wanted you to do. 

You found yourself mesmerized by his desperation at a lot of times. Where Crypto’s kiss flushed lips would part, his eyebrows knitted and his eyes frantic on you. His own hands gripping his hair to follow instructions on not to touch you as his hips thrust into the air and made his thick cock bob. 

Sometimes you wondered if he could cum just by humping the air alone. 

Another time, you’d always tell yourself, always so eager to hear that final sobbed out word of ‘Please’ before you would swing your legs over him and ride him hard and fast. Normally fit with cruel croons about what a sweet, pathetic little thing he looked like. Your very good boy. 

That’s what you were thinking of now as you sat on the couch in his quarters, waiting for him to return from his match in the arena. 

Isabella-Marie is happily purring in your lap as your hand strokes through her soft, strawberry blonde fur. You’ve set up there with a blanket over your lap that she’s kneading happily, the match Crypto had been in having ended about an hour ago. You could tell he was struggling, too much talking around him that was reflecting in his steps. 

He’d been in a team with Mirage and Wattson, both people you knew he liked being around, but unfortunately, they kept striking up conversation. Leading to Crypto being off his rhythm. But it was nice to hear him breathe out in amusement at their antics sometimes, caught on the audio feed with the announcers crooning about how it looked like he made some friends finally. 

They at least made it to the top three. Fighting valiantly to maintain their location on World’s Edge in the city. Mirage had gotten cocky when they’d knocked two of the opposite team, going up to finish them off and ending up with a shotgun in the back and a cracking snarl in the sky of Bloodhound. 

The rest is history. But, at least you knew Bloodhound wouldn’t be the type to gloat and act cocky if they caught Crypto- at least out loud. You’re glad it was them rather than Caustic. Bad blood ran deep between them, not to mention Natalie struggling herself with it all. You were glad her and Crypto could solve whatever issue it was that ran between them- one that not even you were aware of. 

Security and secrecy, Crypto had told you with apology in his eyes. You understood, some things were best kept secret. Especially in case you accidentally got caught up in a mess, you could genuinely say you had no idea what was happening in all the legends’ lives. 

The beep of the door being unlocked makes Isabella-Marie awaken, doing a stretch across your lap before she chirps and hurries to the door to greet Crypto. She curls around his feet as he removes his shoes at the door before entering any further into the room in the rest of his gear. 

“Hello, sweetheart,” You hear him tiredly coo downwards, hearing Isabella-Marie's delighted chirp as she’s scooped up, quickly followed by her loud motor engine of a purr. 

You slide off the couch, dressed in your lounging outfit of soft black sweatpants covered with cliché little green alien heads and a loose gray sweater with a green Apex symbol over the right breast, the collar falling off your shoulders. Crypto looks worse for wear, his eyes are tired and he’s got dirt smudged on his cheek and smells heavy of sweat. Not that Isabella-Marie minds. Nor you. 

“Hey,” You greet him, a smile on your face as his eyes rest on you whilst his cat presses her cheek in insistent strokes against his chin, cradled in his arms. 

“Hey,” He murmurs back to you, adjusting Isabella-Marie in his arms when you reach for him. Despite his tired expression, his cheeks flush when he leans down and to the side for you to cup his cheeks and peck a kiss on his lips in greeting. 

“You need a shower. You go wash up and I’ll order dinner.” You tell him, offering your arms out for Isabella-Marie to be transferred to your arms in all her purring glory. “What were you thinking tonight?” 

“Mmh.” Is his only reply, leaning down to rest his cheek on the top of your head in a small nuzzle. Affectionate boy. You laugh a bit, gently nudging him with your hip as Isabella-Marie jumps out of your arms. Giving you time to hook your arms around his waist and shove your hands into his back pockets under his jacket to draw him close and make him blush. 

“Tae Jooooon,” You tease his name, enjoying how he hums low in his throat in response and turning his head to press his lips against the top of your head in a kiss. “We’ve talked about this. You can’t go your whole life being a one worded man.” 

“Mmh.” He responds again, this time with a smile that you feel. 

You shove at him playfully to shoo him off for the shower, calling out after his back when he goes dutifully towards the bathroom. “Fine! But if you don’t like what I picked because you didn’t give any options, I don’t wanna hear you complain!” 

Not that he ever did complain. If he was picky this would be a bigger concern. But thankfully you two seemed to be on the same page a lot of times, especially when it came to food. 

The food you order is Chinese takeout, getting here just in time for when Crypto emerges from his long shower looking a lot more awake and less grouchy. He’s dressed in his thick framed glasses, his normally slicked back hair nice and slick, some black sweatpants and a loose white crop-top, something you appreciate very greatly to be able to see his fit frame. 

Like a nerdy jock. 

You show your enjoyment when you wrap your arms around him from behind when he goes to look at what you got for dinner. Running your nails up his exposed beauty-marked, warm skin on his abdomen to feel him squirm and lean back against you with this flustered huff falling from his lips. 

Eventually you two make it to the couch where you have dinner and watch one of the K-dramas he liked to indulge in. Sometimes Crypto will pause it to explain a verbal pun that wasn’t caught via the subtitles for you, something that always makes you smile and appreciate when he takes the time to pause and explain for you. 

Though you’re sure he doesn’t appreciate when you wait for his most distracted point in time to steal a piece of his food and shove it in your mouth too quickly for him to stop you. Resulting in him poking at you until you squeal from being tickled and he can take a piece off your food in retaliation as you whine at him after. 

Domestic. That’s the best way you could describe yours and Crypto’s relationship. 

Home. 

After dinner is put away and teeth are brushed, you two settle back onto the couch. You curl up on the corner, Crypto following you to cuddle up to your side. His cheek rests against your shoulder, kind of tilting his body into you as you rest your arm behind him, your hand resting on his nape to slide up to pet at the shaved portion of his head. Another hum from him of appreciation, but not verbalizing his like of it. 

Crypto softly adjusts, but you take it as nothing more than him getting closer to you with the soft sound of the TV in front of you. You’ve got your phone in your lap to play a puzzle game while he watches his show, very much like a cat as he rubs his cheek against your shoulder affectionately. 

Another squirm, another adjustment is felt after a moment of him pressing his thigh to yours. You take it as him wanting to be closer, only sliding your fingers higher along his scalp to the coarse hair atop his head to lightly scratch at the root like he likes. 

You don’t notice his mouth starting to part, quickly cut off with the ringing of your phone and you groaning aloud. “Really? Right now?” Before you’re answering it with a polite ‘Hello?’ that makes Crypto snort at your tone change. 

He watches as you chat, watching your lips move and hearing you discuss footage and what your boss must have wanted you to edit or someone else. He’s not really paying attention when you’re still petting his hair. He tries to nudge closer to you, near flush with your side as his hand now rests on your thigh, hoping to catch your attention. You only offer him a quick smile before returning back to your conversation. 

After five minutes, it’s clear this isn’t going to be a short call either. 

A sigh is heard from Crypto before he’s leaning up to start pecking soft, brushing kisses on your neck. Your head tilts for him, only a light flutter of your lashes as you go ‘Mmhm yeah’ to whoever you are on the phone with. Your nails press lightly at his scalp, letting him know you feel him as his teeth lightly nip at your neck like you like. 

You’re damned good at keeping your composure verbally, and now Crypto’s beginning to wonder if you’ve ever done anything on the phone with him without his knowledge. Even the mental image of you spread out and touching yourself while on the phone near making him whine, something he swallows down. 

You clearly can feel him and see him. You offer a little smile when he peeks up at you, catching your gaze. Emboldened by you sparing even a little attention to him, his hand slides down to your wrist in hopes you’ll catch up to what he’s saying. Gently drawing it to his thigh and towards his inner thigh. And yet, you still chat on the phone, but now you’re squeezing and massaging his thigh, your pinkie lightly skimming over his crotch and making Crypto’s breath hitch against your shoulder. 

His brows are furrowed, looking ever so frustrated as you now purposefully lengthen the conversation out by bringing back a point from the last game played. Crypto’s head tips lightly up to you, his eyes pleading with you when your knuckles brush over the bulge in his sweatpants. 

Your eyes meet his and you quirk a brow with a light smirk on your face. Your eyes say enough for him, you’re sure, judging by how his face flushes and his brows furrow once again. You can see and feel how he squirms, realizing he’s not going to get anything until he uses his words. 

He’s stubborn. He’s always so stubborn. Squirming in his place and getting more frustrated as you keep chatting. Only after three minutes does he finally give in when he realizes this isn’t going to work and you’re only going to keep teasing him through his pants. 

“Please?” He all but whispers, his mouth felt quivering on your bare shoulder and his hot breath felt in a shaky exhale. “Please touch me, please?” 

You smirk. 

“Oh! Hey, boss, looks like I’ll have to chat with you tomorrow morning about that- uhuh, yeah, yeah, getting,” -You pause there to let out a feigned yawn- “Oof, yeah, getting real tired....uhuh, yeah, sounds good! Buh-bye.” Before you’re ending the call and practically pouncing on him. 

You end up in his lap, straddling him and cupping his cheeks, brushing some of his hair from his face before you lean in to kiss him. Crypto’s hands find your waist, hovering at first before gripping you when you lick into his mouth after biting his lip to make him gasp. 

You sit up higher to press him back into the couch, letting your hands slide into his hair for him to tip his head back when you pull at it. His moan is low and vibrates his chest when your tongue licks over his own, feeling his hips jerk lightly up and against your ass needily. 

“I like when you beg,” You breathe as you part from the kiss, moving the kisses down his jawline and towards his ear where you lightly nip. “Do it again for me?” 

“Nnh-” Is the only response he manages at first, his fingers shaking as they slide down to grip your hips when you start grinding across his lap. Back and forth to your own rhythm and feeling just how hard he is. Bless whoever made sweatpants. 

Crypto’s so cute when you pull back to look at him. Where his head is tipped back and to the side, his lips parted and letting out ragged breaths with each drag of your hips across his lap. How his brows knit together when you grind low and slow downwards to catch his attention and his mouth falls closed to hiss. 

But. He still wasn’t speaking. 

“Be a good boy and tell me what you want, hm?” You try to encourage him, letting your hands fall down to his exposed abdomen to slide your hands up and under his crop top. Slipping your hands over his chest to thumb at his sensitive nipples, gently pinching and rolling them. Crypto whimpers sharply, his head rolling to the opposite side and looking more stubborn by the second as he strains to come up with words. 

“I-I-” His voice comes out in a whine, framed by how his lips quiver and his blunt nails cling to your hips when you stop grinding to encourage him further. “I...I want your mouth. On- o-on my cock. Please?”  

“Awww, baby, when you look that cute? I’d do just about anything for you.” 

You move down his body, kissing your way down until you can slink in between his knees onto the floor. You waste no time in hooking your fingers under his sweatpants, your mouth watering as you follow his happy trail downwards as it gets more exposed. You tug them completely off with his underwear, watching his thick cock bounce with a satisfying bob and a drool of pre-cum from the flushed head peaking from foreskin. 

Crypto covers his face with his hands to hide his burning red flush that edges down to his chest when you hum at him approvingly. But, judging by how his cock throbs, you already know that as he likes being watched and praised without words. 

You take your sweet time kissing up his length and down his balls, letting your tongue run over the sensitive skin. Your hand holds the base, stroking downwards to pull back his foreskin, mouthing at the flushed head and letting your tongue slide against the slit in teasing dips until a whimper falls from his lips. 

You tease him like this for a good enough amount of time before you even take him into your mouth fully. Suckling and bobbing your head, your free hand holding his hip to squeeze to remind him to keep his hips down when he starts trying to hump upwards into your mouth. 

Anytime you feel how his cock jerks and you hear his breathing quicken; You stop. Pulling your mouth off to kiss at his hips and thighs instead. Squeezing on his legs soothingly and rubbing at his skin when Crypto whines and rolls his hips up with not a single word peeping from his lips. Even if now his arm is thrown over his forehead, able to see how he peeks open one eye to look down at you pleadingly. 

You smile up at him each time before you take him in again. Suckling, licking, your nails sliding down his thigh until your hand can cup his balls and lightly squeeze. And each time you feel him get close, you pull back. The same bite of pain of your nails on his skin, same edging, the same denial even as pre-cum spills from his cock and it mixes with your drool to connect you with a sliver that makes him near sob when he sees you. 

You know he liked it messy. Liked seeing the mess you could make. 

The mess you could make of him. 

You’re about to remind him that he needs to use his big boy words if he wants to get anywhere tonight. But, seems Crypto gets the memo when he starts pleading. 

“Let me cum inside you, please, please, please- please let me cum i-inside you, please, I’ll be good-”  His voice is breathy, a high whimper as his hips try to fuck up into the loose grip you have on his shaft. He just looks so pathetic for you right now. Just a teary, drooly, humpy mess. 

You like how desperate looks on him. 

“Mmmhhh, I dunno, baby,” You let your voice elongate your words, your breath fanning across his sensitive skin and causing his dick to jerk, lightly tapping your lower lip and making you smile. “You look awfully cute. Can’t you hold it a bit longer? C’mon, you can be my good boy and hold it, can’t you?” 

Each end of your questions is punctuated with a drag of your lips across his cock, letting him feel how you murmur across his reddened skin. 

Crypto sobs out again, his body jerking in sensitivity as both his hands come back up to hide his red face and teary eyes. His nod allows you to continue, continuing your teasing kisses and licks. Making sure to bite pain into his thighs to cause his mind to either associate the pain with pleasure or to back off his pleasure. Judging by the way he sobs out and twitches each time you scratch or bite him, you’re guessing it’s your prior guess. 

“Please, please, please-” Crypto starts to sob when you deny him again, his cock jerking heavily and spilling pre-cum on his lower abdomen. His hands have fallen to grip the couch as best as he can, his teary gaze looking down at you and his lips quivering with his shaky breaths. So cute. “Please, I-I cannot take it anymore, please, please let me cum in you, I want to cum in you-” 

You’ll give him credit. This is the most he’s ever spoken during sex, let alone been so clear in his needs and desires. Something you’ll praise him for later. For now, you smile up at him, wiping your mouth off on the back of your hand before standing to wriggle out of your lounge clothing.  

Crypto’s quick to help you, hooking fingers in your sweater to help you out of it. It’s fit with your laughter as you nearly fall on him, lots of giggling when his mouth presses a kiss to your abdomen when you get halfway stuck through your sweater and pants. “Tae Joon-” You laugh out his name when you feel him smile against your abdomen, “C’mon, lil help here?” 

Eventually you escape your clothing prison, able to set the mood again when your straddle his lap. You’re plenty wet enough, but you still take the time to tease him a bit more by reaching down to stretch yourself while hovering over his cock. You feel flustered as he watches you, sitting under you and looking up at you with such love in his eyes while you make soft sounds yourself. 

It takes a few tries to line up correctly, but soon you’re bouncing your hips on him with your fingers in his hair and your mouth on his neck. He always sounds so pretty the way he cries out, clinging to your hips at first before his arms wind around you to hug you to his trembling frame. You pepper kisses all over his face, cupping his cheeks adoringly as you rest your foreheads together. 

He cums rather quickly, clinging so hard to you as his hips frantically hump up against you. He ends up accidentally holding you still so he can thrust up into you, resulting in you clinging to him in turn with your lips parted and murmuring praise as he fucks you through his orgasm. He’s swearing in his mother tongue, something you can only catch bits and pieces of. 

When Crypto’s done cumming, one of his hands quickly goes down to between both your bodies to rub at your clit as you hump against his cock still lodged inside you. He finds your lips to capture when you whimper out his name when you begin to cum, your nails biting into his shoulders as he rubs you through it. 

By the time you’re both satisfied, you slump against his frame, burying your face into his neck as your sweaty bodies press together on the couch, still connected. 

When both of your breathing settles, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, nuzzling himself there as his hands slide up and down your sides. You smile softly, adjusting your hips a bit and laughing a bit when he grunts in this little oversensitive way. 

When you lift your head to meet his gaze, you smile a bit brighter, gently bumping your noses together. “Hey,” 

“Hey,” He murmurs back just as fondly. 

“You need a shower.”  

He smiles when he realizes you’re replaying your interaction from earlier that day, reaching up to brush your frazzled hair from your face. “Mmh.” 

“You need a shower with me?” 

“Mmh.” He repeats, moving to rest his cheek atop your head as you laugh at him when you feel his chest shake with a quiet laugh in turn. 

“Alright fine. Guess I’ll be getting a shower first and you’ll be left out here with your dick out and cold-” 

That gets him. Pushing you off him and to the couch with a yelp from you as you fall gracelessly on your side and gasp as he takes off towards the shower and you quickly following after him with a playful swat to his ass when you catch up. 

Yeah. You would say your guys’ relationship was domestic.