#and btw no I don’t mean that the battery isn’t working

[lavender-lily]

My car: has a 4WD setting specifically for snow

Also my car: won’t start if the temperature goes too far below freezing

[luci-luck]

Earth “ponies” go first! MASSIVE autism dump comin’ atcha live

TW: ableism , grief , parental death (just in case the tags failed)

This is more so for me but I still wanted to share 🫶

Sandstone (Pinkie):

- b i g puppy energy

- Built for work but prefers to play

- Has crystal pony genes but depression makes them subdued. Can only go full crystal mode in a moment of pure and raw jubilation.

- after constantly being told who she’s supposed to be, they rejected the idea of labels entirely

- no labels for gender or sexuality means loving Pinkie does not impact your sexuality score!

- (intersex is not about gender but biological sex. That being said many intersex people use intergender as their gender as it relates to their experience as an intersex person.)

- deals with internalized ableism due to conservative fillyhood environment. Feels bad when they need to ask for help/support. Got herself an unofficial certificate in psychology so he can be his own therapist (it doesn’t work out)

- Parents would totally support the pony version of Autism Speaks just saying. Pinkie’s dad thinks neurodivergency is curable with hard work and the right attitude whilst her mom mourns the loss of her son after the diagnosis.

- ADHD makes xeir rejection sensitivity off the charts

- Internal battery runs on the company of others so can’t ever live alone.

- Had problems with food insecurity

- Relies on sugar as a steady supply of dopamine

- Can have moments of poor motor control. Clumsy

- Eyesight is bad but doesn’t wear glasses. Afraid that ponies will start thinking he is smart and they will expect even more from him. (In human world she wears contacts)

- Feels embarrassed being high support needs and just wants to be treated like everybody else. Hates when xer parents call her “special”

- Also hates being infantilized but is not confident in their decision making

- Xe is a sensory seeker unlike the rest of their family who are all sensory avoiders. Sisters compromise and try to meet his needs. Pinkie in turn tries to be mindful of their touch aversion but finds it hard sometimes. “Everypony’s just so scoop-able!”

- Trained Gummy to “stay”. Is very proud of his emotional support gator

Applejack:

- Is incredibly strong for her size

- feels like she has to constantly prove herself worthy of taking over the farm. Has gotten into arguments with Big Mac about overexerting herself

- Is a hinny (donkey mom and stallion dad) (ofc hinnies are supposed to have tails more like horse but I love the lion tail on AJ so 💁‍♀️) (I said mule in ALT text because most people don’t know what a hinny is)

- Because of this, she is more calm under pressure and thinks more logically

- has major depression from grief and ptsd (duh)

- Isn’t used to being in a stress free environment so she creates the stress

- Likes running the apple stand but certain families trigger her

- Obsessed with anything from the past generation. A time when her parents were young and happy

- Can be a bit insensitive to other’s problems and wants them to “put on their big girl pants” like she had to.

- Feels like she has to fill in the roles her parents used to do. Especially so Applebloom and Granny don’t have to stress over as many things.

- Was in the process of cutting her mane when she remembered that AB liked to braid it so she stopped half way.

- Is the mom of the friend group. Makes sure everyone’s needs are met before tending to her own. (Which is bad btw)

- Has problems with insomnia but getting better.

- Struggles with OCD and will repeat unnecessary tasks if she believes it will help protect her family

- Has an emotional support dog named Winona who also reminds AJ to take breaks 🐕‍🦺

- Sees no point in getting her chronic pain checked out. Will hopefully change her mind in the future. Wears leg braces to ease the soreness.

- Got diagnosed later on. Grief masked her autistic traits.

- Also has a hard time asking for help but has gotten better after she found out that Applebloom has been internalizing that mindset. She must lead by example

- Stick around long enough and she’ll happily invite you over with a hot cup of cider 🍺

- (Other people tend to fall in love while getting to know someone. Demiromantics however need to get to know the person first and then develop romantic feelings later)

- Thought she wasn’t capable of developing crushes until she got to know Coloratura.

[sniigura-archive]

come see inside my heart (1)

spencer reid x fem! reader

Summary: You’re rehabilitated! You swear on it! So, when a serial killer turns up, with the same killing method as you, it threatens everything you have worked not-so hard for.

tw/cw: CANON TYPICAL VOILENCE AND THEMES! This chapter is mild but! Further chapters will deal with mature topics, read at your own risk! I am not responsible for you guys. I take no critism btw

Read on AO3 for better formatting + tagging. Enjoy.

This isn’t Spencer´s scene. He knew it, his team knew it, and so did the woman and men who approached him. A successful caught criminal means a night out at a bar, or club in this scenario. Usually he could handle it, the people, the sounds, the overstimulation of his senses.

Sadly, today was a bad day, where everything was just a bit too much. So he excused himself to the restrooms, but he just ended up going through the back door, into an alley. It was dirty, with trash everywhere, but it was better then being inside right now. Spencer planned to be alone, for like 10 minutes to recharge and try again.

But, well, he wasn’t alone. A girl was crouching on the floor. Her arms over her knees, hiding away her face.

“I’m sorry… are you in need of assistance? Are you hurt?” Spencer carefully asked.

The girl lifted her head up, looking right at him with cold eyes. He wishes she was just looking at him, it felt like he was being looked right into. She was unraveling him, simply with her eyes. His soul was laid bare before her.

“…No, sorry if I scared you. I’m just trying to recharge my social battery.” Her hands rubbed over her forehead. She still made no move to get up.

Spencer carefully nodded, a small voice told him if he said the wrong thing, or made the wrong move that she would leave. He doesn’t want her to leave.

“I can relate to that, that’s why I also came out here.” Spencer said, he then tried to casually lean against the wall behind him. Once he came in contact with the wall, he felt it crumble under him. He quickly pulled away and wiped away the dirt from his cardigan.

And even though Spencer hates dirt, and he knows he will have to bleach his clothes and himself once he get’s home, he thinks it’s worth it. Simply because you giggled at him. He looked at you, still on the ground, but your lips were pulled into a grin. He couldn’t help but smile at you back.

“I thought you looked like a smart guy, guess I was wrong.” Your tone was teasing, and the playful insult causes him to blush in embarrassment.

“Yeah, well…Uhmm…Yeah..” And usually Spencer was quick with his words, his brain constantly on overdrive. And he could easily come up with some witty respond. His problem right now? The intense eye contact you guys held. Spencers only salvation was looking away. He took a deep breath and finally spoke,

“Well, actually I have three Phds and an IQ of 187. You tell me if that makes me an smart guy.”

“Three? Dude, how old are you?” You looked at him with big eyes.

“24.” At his answer you looked even more shocked, “Do I look that old?” He tried to tease you.

“No! No, its just I am 26 and I am not even close to three Phds, or an IQ of 187. I’m kind of envying you right now.” You slowly stood up, shaking out your legs.

“I also have eidetic memory.” You looked at him with confusion, “It’s, uh, commonly known as an photographic memory.”

“Now you’re just bragging. But being able to remember everything? That’s something I don’t envy. I love my mind for being able to repress things.”

“It’s true, it’s not always…easy. It’s very practical though in my line of work.” Spencer shifted from one leg to the other. Speaking to people wasn’t his forte, especially ones in his age rage who he was attracted to.

“Oh? What’s your occupation?” You tilted your head slightly to the side, looking him up and down.

“I work for the FBI, in the, uh, Behavioural Analysis Unit.” Spencer cleared his throat, trying to shake off his nervousness. He can talk to serial killers, but one pretty girl leaves him speechless.

“Wow! A doctor and agent? You are really an high achiever.” Spencer laughed slightly at your words, “Yeah, my name is Spencer Reid, by the way.”

You told him your name and stretched out your hands towards him. “Uhm, actually, did you know its safer to kiss then to shake hands? Yeah! It’s because of the-“

“Well, let’s kiss then.” You giggled at his stuttering, and the blush coating his cheeks and ears, “I’m just kidding! Unless..” Tip toeing towards him, you leaned your shoulder against the wall, looking right at Spencers side profile. He turned his head towards you, not wanting to miss a secound of looking at you.

His heart was pounding in his chest, his hands were starting to sweat.

“Can I have your number?” Spencer helplessly blurred out. Hopefully you were as interested in him as he was in you.

“Ah, I don’t think you will actually like me..” You trailed off, but still smiled at him.

“Why? You can’t know that.”

“Hmm, I do know, sadly. I’m not really…a good person, you know? I’m probably on some kind of watchlist.” You looked away from him, your finger was playing around with your lips.

“No way! I don’t believe you.” Spencer tried to convince you otherwise. In his head, he knew that this was a warn sign from you. Either you suffered from low self esteem, were not interested in him and tried to shake him off, or you were telling the truth. Please, be a liar. “What terrible thing did you commit?”

You hummed, your face losing its smile and you spoke in a whisper, “I’m a serial killer.”

Spencer’s blood ran cold at your words, he couldn’t tell if you were joking or not. But his question was quickly answered, because you started laughing, “You should have seen your face! For legal reasons I was joking, obviously.” You bumped your shoulder against his and made your way back to the door. “Bye bye, doctor Reid, you might get my number the next time we meet.” And with that you disappeared inside.

His saving grace was Morgan calling him, asking if he fell down the toilet or something. Spencer hurried back inside, the whole night he didn’t see your face again.

___

You always meet someone twice. Spencer could curse whoever came up with that phrase, but well. He also cursed himself. Wishing to meet the pretty stranger from last week shouldn’t be too much to ask for. But, with his bad luck, it is apparently.

Spencer got what he asked for, he met you again. Sadly, under bad circumstances. While he daydreamed about sitting across from you at a dinner, he didn’t really expect to see you sitting in the interrogation room at the DC police station. While he could see you through the glass, you weren’t able to see him.

Hotch and Gideon stood beside Spencer, looking into the room, studying you, “She won’t crack, she didn’t when she was 16 and she sure won’t now at 26.” Gideon said into the silent room, Hotch nodded his head.

“We still have to try, we have no other choice.” Hotch replied in his usual even tone.

Gideon looked at the file in his hand, he then made his way inside to you. He sat himself across from you and sighed, “Weren’t you supposed to keep out of trouble?”

“…I do.” Your voice was stable, your hand was playing around with your handcuff.

“Yeah? Well, it doesn’t look like that to me.” With that Gideon opened the file and put the pictures of the crime scenes on the table. Only catching a glimpse of the content of the pictures, you turn your head away to the wall. Spencer was able to catch you grimacing.

“Yikes, want me to pass out?”

“There is no blood in those pictures. Take a look at them.”

Slowly, you turned your head back towards Gideon, avoiding looking at the table. With a deep sigh you looked at the pictures, Your brows were furrowed, studying the pictures, or more like trying to, because after a few seconds you started gagging and quickly turned them around, so you didn’t have to see them again.

“What the hell does this have to do with me?”

The pictures weren’t even gruesome, for the standard of the FBI. It were simple corpses, no guts, blood, or even visible bruises.

“Where were you last Tuesday, from 8PM to 11PM?”

“…I was at home?”

“You have any witnesses?”

“Yeah, actually. We have cameras all around and inside the house. My car and phone are also both being constantly tracked. Don’t worry, Jason, I can’t make a step without everyone knowing.” And with that you leaned against your chair, your arms crossed across your chest. You were shutting down.

Gideon noticed this and got up, knowing this was as much as he could get. He joined the other men on the other side of the glass.

The team was depriving with the police department, on what next steps they should take.

“The Heart, known for his obsession with blood. It is actually an unsolved case in the FBI, the Heart was active from 2010 to 2013 and seemingly stopped his killing abruptly. The profile which was established back then was of a white male, in his 20’s to early 30’s, someone who was charismatic and worked in the medical field. What’s really interesting about this case is the time frame, or more like the time in which the kills committed. Usually, serial killers evolve, the time between kills becomes less and less, the need for a high rising. With this one here, the time frame between the kills becomes more, as if the killer is seemingly lost interest.” Spencer rambled on.

“That’s great and all, but what does this have to do with the girl we took into custody? I know her Daddy, and I’m afraid he will come in here raise Hell soon. Do we even have any evidence.” A random police officer called into the room.

“We are aware that our current custodee seems innocent, but we have reasons to believe that she is in fact the Heart killer. We just…weren’t able to prosecute her. This may change now. We can hold someone in custody without evidence for 48 hours, I advise that was use the time wisely.” Aaron said, establishing dominance. The team was aware that the police officers were antsy, convincing them to take you into custody was hard enough.

Their job was just about to become harder, because two men entered the police department.

“Tell me a good reason on why I shouldn’t sue you and your whole bloodline.” One of the men spoke angrily.

“Sir, do you know where your daughter was last Tuesday from 8PM to 11PM?” Gideon calmly asked the upset father, “She claims to have been at home. Can you support that statement?”

“I don’t have to, we have cameras at our hose. We can check right now, if you want to. The video files are uploaded to our cloud.” The father carefully phrased, not wanting to incriminate his daughter any further. He made eye contact with the other man, a lawyer, who nodded his head.

This was a quick process, the video files were send to Garcia and she checked for any kind of manipulation.

“Well, depending on who hears this, it’s either good or bad news. The alibi is waterproof, no! It’s bulletproof. Not even for last Tuesday, but for all the murder times. On the day she wasn’t home, you can easily track her to the campus library, where they have video surveillance. So, yeah, not our guy…gal.”

“Thanks, Garcia.” With that Hotch ended the phone call. He looked at the projection of you in your home in one video, in the next it’s set in the library. He really hoped this would be an easy wrap up.

“What if she has a partner?” Morgan threw into the room, wanting to nothing more then to send you away for life.

“No. She keeps to herself and seems to be introverted.” Hotch answered. “We have no other choice but to let her go. Reid, release her. This doesn’t mean we won’t keep an eye on her, of course.” With these words Hotch left the room, probably sharing the news with the other law enforcement members.

Spencer made his way to you, keys in his hand. He opened the door, and took his time studying you without the glass separating you both. It was the middle of the night, you simply wore a tank top and shorts, sleep wear. Across your legs and arms were countless bruises, some old and some new. Scars lined your skin, some on your neck, those were small and delicate. Others were an your arm, your wrists, your thighs. Of course, the mandatory knee scars from being a kid weren’t missing. And Spencer would nearly miss it, if he wasn’t painfully familiar with them.

Small, circular scars on your arm. Old track marks. They were scarred over and there was no bruising, a good sign.

You didn’t bother looking at who came through the door, your house being raided in the middle of the night kinda ruined your mood. All you want to do is sleep. For once in your life, you were innocent!

Spencer walked towards you, he then carefully unlocked your handcuffs. Looking up, you saw the cute guy from the club. You kinda missed him.

“I didn’t do it.” You quickly said, not knowing what else to do.

“…I know.” Spencer spoke quietly, your alibi saved you. “The, ah, victimology doesn’t fit at all, the Heart killed at random while this one, while using the same killing method, has a specific victim type.”

“Yeah, girls who look like me. Just because I’m squeamish as hell, doesn’t mean I can’t make the obvious connection.”

This is embarrassing for Spencer, because truthfully, he didn’t make the connection. Yet. Maybe he should look for a different career path. Once your hand was free, you massaged your temples. You left the room and walked into the police station, the officers looked uncomfortable. Spencer followed you.

“…It might be a copycat. The killing methods and Victimology suggest that it’s an obsessive fan. Have you noticed anyone following you recently? Or a constant feeling of being watched?” Spencer couldn’t help but ask you, any information is good information. And any attention from you is good attention.

You turned towards Spencer, looking up at him. He could feel the anger radiating off you.

“Or, unpopular opinion, I also didn’t commit the first murders and it’s the true killer returning. Ever thought of that, Phd boy? I was just accused of murder back then! Without any evidence! Why is there no evidence? Because I’m innocent! Just because your fucking senior over there used his what? Magic super powers of reading fucking body language? Get fucked, honestly.” You turned away from Spencer completely, choosing to only look at your father.

“We are…Sorry for the inconvenience, the profile just fit and we didn’t think it through. Life’s are at stake here, and you did commit a murder.” Hotch tried to defuse the tense atmosphere, the team knew that the police officers were very sceptical towards the BAU. This could ruin any relationship and progress they made.

“You call it murder, the Judge and I call it self defense. Agree to disagree, I guess? Or are you salty that you weren’t able to catch the phedophillic serial rapist back then? Sorry that I killed him when he attacked me, next time I will remember to just not defend myself, asshole.”

Your father put a hand on your shoulder, a signal to stop. Your lawyer thankfully didn’t look stressed out, so you didn’t say anything too incriminating. Crossing your hands over your chest, you decided to shut up for the rest of your stay here.

“We would love to help you, Agent. We truly do, but if this is all we would like to leave now.” Your father carefully said. Innocent until proven otherwise.

There is not much Hotch could do, since it was now clear that you were not behind the murders. He nodded his head, “Of course, once again we are sorry for the intrusion.”

With that you once again leave Spencer behind. How inappropriate would it have been to ask you for your number?

[way-too-many-ideas]

REMY LORE REMY LORE REMY LORE

but first a huge thank you to @love-you-fo-rever for helping me make her and develop her lore!! oh and a btw, any art of remy that I use will more than likely come from kat bc I can’t draw lmao

Okay okay okay lore time

Remy was the prototype created right before the CYN drones were made. Her little PN thing is CYR, but she is the only drone of that type due to a bug in her code. Remy cannot ever be fully 100% charged. You know how cell phones have a maximum capacity for their battery? Yeah, so that maximum drops over time, so even if your phone shows it’s 100% charged, if your maximum capacity is (for example) 90% then really ur phone is 90% charged (this is just my understanding of it, this probably isn’t how it actually works oops). It’s basically the reason why phones seem to die faster and faster over time.

So, Remy’s max isn’t 100% (I haven’t decided what it is lol), and she basically has narcolepsy as a result. I also like the idea that the code, which I just keep calling the REM code, was supposed to allow the drones to charge faster/have more energy bc they would be in the drone equivalent of REM sleep. Idk I haven’t worked out all the logistics yet. Anyways, because of the faulty REM code, she also doesn't always sleep through a whole REM cycle, meaning that sometimes she doesn't/can't even recharge to her max. The code couldn’t really be fixed without fucking up everything else and so she was the only version of this drone to be made since they caught the bug very quickly.

This glitch is also why her eyes are different colors. Her eyes were both originally the light blue/teal color, but after her first REM cycle, the glitch took effect and as a result one of her eyes became a darker blue (aka I wanted her to be quirky and different and I also thought it would be fun for that to be the like, tell (for lack of a better word), that she is glitched) Also, when Remy sleeps, her face doesn’t just say “sleep mode” or whatever, it just says REM, hence how she got her name.

She was one of Tessa’s drones. Idk how the Elliot’s got her, maybe the same way they found Cyn? Idk, I haven’t thought that out yet. Anyways, Tessa loves her and thinks it’s silly how Rem will just suddenly fall asleep and loves to like cuddle with her when she does. Her parents have definitely found them curled up together asleep in the most random places. Of course, Tessa names her Remy after seeing her in sleep mode. Tessa’s parent didn’t want to keep Rem, but how could they say no to their precious daughter, I mean she’s even given the drone a name! But since Remy’s glitched, Tessa’s parent don’t really care for her. They only let her stick around because Tessa loves her. They kind of just ignore her. Remy isn’t bothered by this because that means that she tends to go unnoticed and can therefore get away with shit. She has definitely snuck Tessa some treats after bedtime and such. Oh, and she has red hair because Tessa saw her blue eyes/core and was like "red will look so good on you girl" (I get the vibe that Tessa always wanted her drones to look as like stylish as possible)

Remy is chill with all the other drones before everything goes to shit. They all understand that she can't really be of much use due to her being a potential hazard, but they would definitely try to include her when possible. However, she was still able to easily hide away/be forgotten about (for lack of a better term).

Okay so now to the trauma weeeee

Remy was Cyn’s first victim. I imagine that since Remy is typically ignored/hidden in the shadows, nobody really notices she’s gone. She def went missing a little bit before Cyn killed everyone. The dragon wings were the first wing design Cyn tried out (definitely not because I love dragons nope never). But, Cyn didn’t really like them and kept messing around with them therefore damaging the membrane. Remy was tortured, going through constant changes thanks to Cyn. Since she was essentially Cyn’s practice toy, she practically got taken apart and put back together multiple times.

Rem knows she was tortured, but she doesn’t remember much of it. She slowly gets her memories back after the events of the show cause something to trigger and make her remember. She also knows that N doesn't have his memories, and she knows it's because of V somehow, but she doesn't know all the details.

She has the male murder drone legs because she did it to herself. Cyn originally gave her the peg legs, but Remy absolutely hated them. She had a hard time keeping her balance and she would fall a lot more whenever she would randomly fall asleep. So one day, they’re out on a mission or whatever and they stumble upon a dead disassembly drone and Rem’s so fucking done with the peg legs that she literally cuts them off and welds the other legs to her (hence the scars around her legs).

She’s a masochist for sure. She’s also more rebellious since she could get away with a bunch of shit before everything happened. She’s quiet at first, but after the show as she grows closer with everyone (and works through some shit) she breaks out of her shell. I feel like she has some sort of Doberman/German Shepherd/Pitbull energy. She's like very protective over everyone, like V levels of overprotective.

Okay, that's all of the Remy lore for now, there's definitely more I could include but I also kind of want to make those separate posts. I'm literally obsessed with her Kat seriously ate. I'm so excited to start writing out like little scenarios and stuff!!!

[rebornologist]

Hi! I know I just requested something but I got another idea for Squalo (KHR) tho!!

I was thinking… Squalo being stressed all day (is there any day that he doesn’t ???😂) but like SUPER STRESSED …would he just hug the reader like charging battery or… doing something else to the reader?

Can be pure fluff or NSFW btw! Do what makes you comfortable!!

contents: established relationship, painfully domestic, suggestive option 2, kisses, nothing else really. 1k words.

Stressed ♡ Squalo/Reader Snippets ✧

Squalo has trouble managing his stress because his ego is humungous and he prides himself in his accomplishments, especially in regards to his ability to kick ass and get shit done. He is an overachiever with high standards for himself and he still works himself as if he is the official leader of the Varia (what he originally was meant to be, and might as well be, granted Xanxus is anti-paperwork and often anti-owning up to his responsibilities as boss.. y’all give Mr. Superbia a raise or else).

He’s adopted certain self-care rituals to wind down whenever he has free time, including (but not limited to) polishing his blades, spending some quality time with Alo, taking a nice long hot shower or soaking in the bath with a classic book (the art of war), and washing and brushing his hair.

I personally think that he’d be more low energy outside of work, but it doesn’t mean that he isn’t just as prone to having an outburst and yelling about something, anything, at the drop of a hat.

The rattling of keys captures your attention as the tall silver-haired swordsman discards them onto the dresser. He pads lightly into the room towards you, rolling out his shoulders silently, tilting his head side to side in a poor attempt to stretch his stiff neck muscles.

“Ah, you’re back, Squ-?!” Your greeting is interrupted by your face colliding with his sternum as he slumps against you, an arm snaking around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Long day, huh..?” You mumble empathetically as you reciprocate the embrace, softly brushing your hand over the small of his back in an attempt to soothe him.

“No fuckin’ shit, [y/n].” He grumbles, clearly not in the mood to elaborate.

You lean against him in understanding, nuzzling your nose against the crook of his neck. Ideas float around in your head around how to take his mind off of the day he just had.

opts below.

[1] Run a bath ✧

[2] Offer a drink ♡

[1] You offer to run a bath just as a simple act of service to start the wind-down process for him.

The faucet spills hot water noisily into the porcelain tub and you catch yourself daydreaming as you stare into the frothing and bubbling liquid. You hear the door creak open and come back into reality, eyes moving quickly to meet the gaze of the man entering the bathroom.

“Hey! It’s almost ready..” you dip your arm in to about mid-forearm depth and swish the water around to feel for the temperature. “...salt?”

He grumbles an affirmative as he brushes out his hair in the mirror, threading slender fingers through the silver locks. His hair is always so pretty.. Oops, that’s enough salt..

You finish mixing in the Epsom salts, feeling soothed by the calm movement of your hand through the warm water. “Perfect,” you comment, lifting your limb out and shaking the excess liquid off, moving away to allow him to enter the bath. He does so, fairly quickly, clearly not in the mood to chat any further.

୨୧ ⁺˳₊

You read silently over his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to his temple before you begin to massage the shampoo into his hair, leaning forward to squint at the small text.

“It's so... technical. I don’t know how you find this engaging,” you muse, gently massaging his scalp.

He grunts, turning to retort something and chew you out for being shallow. He is unable to do that, as you tilt your head in to catch his open mouth in a quick kiss before pulling back smugly.

“What the h- what was that for?!”

You giggle and remove your hands from his now thoroughly lathered locks, letting the long strands back down to pool into the waters below. “Sorry,” you murmur, clearly not sorry about shutting him up in that way. “You should save your words, don’t mind me..” your smile reaches your eyes as your hands move to his shoulders this time, squeezing the tense muscles.

“What I mind right now is that you’re not in the water with me,” he grumbles, before setting the book down on the side table and sinking deep into the bath, closing his eyes.

That was your cue to join him. Your nose scrunches and your eyes light up, as you hastily act on that sarcastic request. Relaxing is best when done with someone you love, huh.

[2] What could you offer to make him feel better? A little treat, perhaps. He does enjoy his whisky neat, and prefers it be chilled through the glass or with the specialized stones instead of ice that waters it down.

“Could you use a drink?”

He pulls back from the embrace, and you can almost see the question stewing in his mind, the cogs turning slowly and his brows furrowing.

“Actually, yeah,” he mutters, punctuating it with a slight nod.

You fight back a smile, this was going to be a good night.

୨୧ ⁺˳₊

Later in the evening, you find yourself lounging on the couch with a wine glass in hand, swishing the red liquid around as your mind wanders... as do your eyes, over your partner resting nearby, after a few glasses of whisky. He is fairly reclined, with his hair draped over the plush fabric and his eyes closed in contemplation.

“Squ..” your head tilts inquisitively. His long hair falls over his shoulder as his head raises from what he was doing. You notice that the first few buttons of his shirt have been undone, and your eyes trail over the way his sleeves are rolled up, exposing his lean forearms. The warmth builds in your cheeks, from the wine, you try to convince yourself.

“[Name],” he exhales audibly as he stands from his seated position. “I can see what you’re thinking..about,” the swordsman mumbles, arms crossing in front of him as he shifts his weight and stands facing you directly.

“Wh.. uh,” you can’t help but be distracted by the way the muscles in his forearm flex with the motion, and he absolutely tracks the way you gawk at his long legs. He feels his ego swell with pride, and this time his head tilts.

“Oi, eyes up here, perv.”

“Oh! Uh, sorry.”

He snorts in amusement, taking steps closer to you, slowly, teasingly. “If you wanted me to unwind by taking it out on you,” the tall man leans over your seated form on the couch, arms caging you in and a knee between your thighs before you’re able to shrink away. “Could have just said so..”

The syrup sweetness and smokiness of the drinks he had linger on his tongue as he kisses you greedily, forcing you to crane your neck back to accommodate him.

"Now that I'm warmed up, I can think of some ways that you can help me relax, actually.." a predatory, shark-like grin dances on his features, illuminated by the dim lighting in the room.

Your puffy lips fall slack as you watch him move, his hands travel down to tug at the buckle of his belt. The sight and sound of the metal clinking as he pulls it loose is certainly... mouthwatering, to say the least.

I seem to have lost the plot but fuck it we ball. fin.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Ufff. What a day!

Mom’s not well. Seriously unwell. Yesterday I read to her for 2 1/2 hrs, but today I didn’t even get to speak to her because she was in so much pain. I am worried sick. Any day I don’t get to tell Mom I love her upsets me anyway, but this is obviously much worse.

For the fourth day in a row my right ear has been making irritating crackly/popping sounds. I’ve had tinnitus as long as I can remember, and I don’t mind that background hum too much. At least it’s steady. This comes and goes. This keeps making me look to see what I’m hearing, like it’s beside me. I go from “Is there a critter back there?” to, “Oh, wait. It’s me!”

I’d gotten up early to go do the shopping, a trip that did two things besides get necessities for the next two weeks.

First, I found out a guy I’ve been friendly with at one of the stores for more than a decade is probably racist. It was a vibe, a body language, a warmth shut down. Up until now I’d not seen him checking anyone out, since he usually was doing the grunt work of moving stuff. He’s always seemed okay with his coworkers, but the telling thing in life is how you treat strangers and those with no power over you. Not shocking for a white dude in the rural south, but depressing.

Second, I used up my money. Like all of it. I weighed buying kerosene for the hot water heater and getting gas for the pickup. I am so sick of boiling water, that I decided the pickup can stay parked for two weeks (after I move that big bookcase between houses.)

Putting the kerosene in the tank when I got home I discovered the work I did the other day had created TWO joints to leak, the settling filter to tilt too much to work properly, and the whole tank to lean too far.

Oh, and I’d forgotten to rebuild the cinderblock steps to reach the pour in hatch. Trying to fix it I squished a finger. It’s purple now. Like entire end of the finger is purple!

And the steps no longer got me high enough, so I needed a ladder.

I discovered that last bit when I spilled a LOT of kerosene. In my face. In my eyes!

My eyes aren’t happy, BTW, and are planning to remind me of this assault for a while.

The kerosene took forever to put in the tank. It shouldn’t take THAT long to go through the screen. That’s because it turned out to be full of junk, that I now hope hasn’t contaminated the tank too much more than it already was after all probably 70 years of non-stop use.

I went to Mom’s house intending to do little. Instead I moved the damn treadmill! It weighs a ton, has only two tiny wheels that barely turn at the front but legs at the back, and was an inch two wide to go where I intended to put it out of the way in the hall. I had to maneuver it out of the bedroom with no swinging room for all the stacks of books, and get it through the door even though the pole saw that I store up the stairs sticks across it. **

Okay, so it’s too big to turn the corners to any of the other down stair rooms, and’s WAY too heavy to carry upstairs (even if I had the space or someone to help me), so I get the brainstorm to move it into the shed. I only have to move everything in the front of the shed…

You know, stuff like the industrial pump and seeming miles of hose my brother got for working on the boat, a spool of rope for the boat that’s waist high, the broken lawnmower, three boxes of damn jelly no one will eat, and that sort of thing.

Then I just had to get it off the porch and across the yard without gashing the steps or wood of the porch, or digging a groove through the grass, or getting stuck, or….

The neighbor dog, the great dane that’s now my buddy came to help. By help I mean he went into the house while the door was blocked open and grabbed things to take away and shred in the front yard. Foam. Paper. Bags…

OMG! Is that the bottom of the lantern I was removing the dead batteries from??? NO!!!! Give it back!!! That isn’t a toy! STOP!!!

Replacing that lantern will cost me $40. If that dog broke it…

And I petted him. Because what does he know.

I “walked” the treadmill across the yard, waddling using the two tiny wheels. The dog ran over as it swung back and forth, and heavy as it was I couldn’t stop the swing. WHACK! Right into his poor head!

He seemed okay, and after a bit of comforting he was back to normal. Well, except now he had discovered a game of trying to leap over the swinging treadmill.

Lifting the front into the shed I hurt my back, though I wasn’t really aware until I was putting everything back in the shed on top of it.

Oh good. Now I just have to disassemble the shelves, haul them around, put the bookcase back together, fill the floor to ceiling bookcase, and then figure out where I can make space for another one.

I realized then something had gone with my ankle brace on the bad foot. I could barely put weight on it.

With the animals fed and the sun set I was ready to flop, when…the two pain in the ass cats stole my seat! Nony and Yow Yow are lovable as heck, or I sure as hell wouldn’t let them in, but GEEZ, I have one single chair to sit in in the shop house, and with the floor collapsed it will stay one. The least they could do is shove over….

Okay, my supper livened them up, even if it was nothing the would want to eat. I went to put them on the porch, and Yow Yow did her usual boneless flop, not even trying to put her feet under her, and letting her wet sack of a body block the door. Nony, being just the opposite, seemed to fly back into the house. This led to him running around the house, playing keep away, and chewing in the cord to the freakin’ space heater! I put him out and…

Yow Yow was back in the chair asleep!!!!

***sigh***

I can’t evict a sleeping cat. So I sit down by her and in seconds she is on top of me. Now I couldn’t reach the computer or my sculpey or go get a drink or… I mean, awwwww, she looks so cozy!

I’m worried, I’m tired, I’m hurting, and I’m grumpy.

And if I don’t get this cat off my lap I’m not going to get the hot water heater lit!

**It’s been “fun” carrying stuff out of that room stepping over the pole saw that’s knee level, unusually backwards because there was no space to turn around after I picked up the storage container. Stupid beloved books!

***I have four bookcases , three of them floor to ceiling metal ones like this, in my bedroom at the shop. But where can I put them in house packed with the contents of three houses? They need to go against a wall, since we are talking maximum filling. And it can’t be a wall that already has furniture against it or where that chimney leaks sometimes or near the heater. I’ve already got bookshelves in front of windows even, with paneling wedged in not to protect the glass like with a sane person, but to shield the books. Too many windows! I need a cave! LOL

[pedulum-chronometry]

Yeah….

I don’t think I’ve seen something so tone deaf since The Magicians?

I mean what was it all for? Why try and save Vanya (who was apparently never supposed to get to be Viktor)? Season 1’s message was that the explicit exclusion and manipulation of Viktor created the apocalypse with the implicit message that inclusion and support save the world, just doesn’t matter anymore I guess?

All the following plot points, Victor’s powers being unstable in Harlan, the grandfather paradox, all stem from this decision. These people came together to try and do better and actually be family. They saw each other and said ‘these fucked up ones are mine to love and protect so let’s do better’.

I honestly thought that all the timeline fuckery was going to be different iterations of them dealing with the trauma of their childhood until they were well adjusted enough to not blowup the world. (This is the better version of the show btw)

Like the reoccurring message that Five keeps getting over and over again to not save the world? Is just so stupid. Of course they’re going to try. Who wouldn’t try? They should!

Life is literally just trying! There isn’t anything else to it but that. To see these dysfunctional characters keeps going, keep trying, is the fucking point! Seeing them choose to stop, choose death, Jesus Fucking Christ is that a poor writing choice! I get that they were going for like a heroic sacrifice but they failed completely in execution.

The heroic sacrifice play really only works when you have a meaningful choice, which I would argue the literal child soldiers have never really had. Their existence was caused by their abuser so he could use them as a battery to power his bring-my-wife-back machine. They didn’t have agency coming into this world and thanks to piss poor writing don’t have any going out of it either. (For plot reasons the mcguffin and anti-mcguffin must merge and death is the only solution! 🙄🤮)

Where’s the growth? The hope? Where’s the fucking agency?!!! What do you mean you are only the circumstances of your birth and nothing more? Fuck that!

my queer, neurodivergent ass when The Umbrella Academy ends with, "you were born wrong, every bad thing that has happened to you is your fault, and the only way the world can be good and safe is if you are eradicated from existence"

[lampmanliveblogs]

You ever get so spooked by a little bird that your eyes just loose all their color?

Anyways, the Golden Guard has decided to be vulnerable and open up about his backstory a bit here. Some very interesting stuff for sure.

First off and the biggest thing that stands out to me is that he says that ”Belos found him.” That makes it sound like the two might not be related at all, and Belos more so adopted GG. Of course, GG might be smudging the details there a bit. He sounds sincere, but if Bria from last episode taught me anything it’s that sometimes seeming sincerity shrouds secrets. I love alliteration.

The point is, he could just be lying or simply obfuscating the true relationship between him and Belos. After all, it might not be the best idea to to tell the known troublemaker and associate of (formerly) wanted criminal and anarchist that the Emperor’s favorite nephew is sitting right there, powerless without his stick.

It’s not just that he called Belos uncle though, but also the wording Belos used when talking to him. He said specifically that ”wild magic destroyed our family.” Not your family or our families. Our family. Unless that’s meant to be like a really broad term, like they’re the same family of witch, a deme with a low affinity for magic of something and wild magic wiped them out.

For now, I’m gonna continue operating under assumption that the two are related.

Supposedly, the Titan had big plans for GG. By now, you should all know that I am highly skeptical of this whole ”Titan’s will” thing Belos has got going.

GG mentioned that a lot of his ancestors didn’t have any magic. The real interesting part though is that he says his staff contains ”artificial magic.” Which sounds weird. It’s pretty much all but confirmed that magic comes directly from the Titan. I think I speculated it was its life force or soul living on, but the particulars of that don’t matter too much. The interesting part is how exactly one makes ”artificial magic.” Unless it just means the staff acts as a battery that GG can use. That’d make sense, since Luz was able to use it too.

The Golden Guard also said that Luz could decide her own future. The implication in that line being the GG isn’t all happy about the future planned for him by Belos (or the Titan).

Having bonded over reading the same book, being without natural magical talent, and being uncertain/unhappy at their futures, Luz decides to give GG back his staff.

”I know the beginnings of a redemption arc when I see it.” -Luz, probably

”Y-you know, redemption is something you have to work towards and I realize it might be difficult to, uh… take that first step. Right now, you’re feeling confused and emotional so, um… tell you what, I have this friend in the Human Realm, his name is Steven, he ’s really good with this stuff. Why don’t you talk to him and I’ll, ah… be on my way?” -Luz, probably

(Check out Old Gem, Young Owl by 616mcu for some quality Luz and Steven being friends btw)

His name is Hunter.

…is sure a revelation that would’ve been a lot more impactful if I didn’t already know it. I hope you people appreciate my strength in resisting all of the quality puns I could’ve made throughout this episode.

No, no, this is still interesting. I can talk about it.

Every time we’ve seen him up until this episode, he’s been wearing his mask. Hiding his face. Going by the title of the Golden Guard, in some sense, hiding away who he is inside. Once he lost his mask, we started seeing who this unapproachable guardian of the empire was inside. And he’s a guy with insecurities and regrets.

I mentioned before that Luz and GG have some things in common. They both can’t use magic, they read the same book on wild magic… and here he is, sharing a closely guarded secret with her. His name is Hunter.

”Teleports behind you. It’s personal, Kiki.” -Hunter, probably

(see, it’s funny, because i used that same meme for the golden guard back in episode one so it’s like it came full circle)

[thran-duils]

Doll Me Up (P.9)

Title: Doll Me Up (Part Nine) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Tony Stark. On good days, you and Tony were a power couple. You, a perfect trophy wife with your hands in local charities to promote a wholesome image. Tony, business man but sullied with organized crime. He indulged in his illegal gambling, extortion, and political corruption. And he indulged in his escort business. Hell, that is where he had found you. You were a brat, and he loved a challenge. Words: 2,991 Warnings: Unhealthy relationships, smut, daddy kink, dom/sub, manipulation, death, violence, possessive behavior, drug use

Author’s Note: I apologize if the tags haven’t been working. I was using the new beta editor but I’ve switched back to traditional! BTW, I think I am coming up to the close on the fic soon! Just a head’s up.

Part Eight || Part Ten || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

~A month ago…

You heard someone walk into the living room and you peeked out from your cocoon of blankets you had set up for yourself, curled up on the couch, watching tv. Happy cocked an eyebrow seeing you, his eyes running over the seltzer water and all the blankets.

“Are you okay?” he questioned.

“I don’t feel great,” you said, taking another sip of your water. You wished Tony was home, but he had gone on a business trip. Happy had stayed behind to keep an eye on you. Tony trusted him more than any of his other men to make sure you were kept safe in his absence.

“Do you need to go to the doctor?” Happy asked concerned.

You shrugged, “I’m just nauseous. I don’t think it’s anything serious. I might have eaten something bad.”

Happy did not look convinced. “Tell me if it gets worse. And I’ll get you an appointment.”

Nodding, you picked your water back up and took another drink, hoping the carbonation would help settle your stomach. You did not even bother to tell Tony later around dinner time when he called to check in, brushing it off.

It subsided later in the day and you thought you were in the clear until the next morning – very early, 4:00am – it hit again. Groaning, you could not ignore the swirling and you got out of bed, rubbing at your eyes.

FRIDAY set on the baseboard lights as you walked downstairs to guide your way.

You opened the bag of bread and took a slice out, stuffing it into your mouth as you closed the bag back up. Taking a large bite, you chewed slowly. Maybe you were having acid reflux and the bread would help soak it up.

You meandered, swallowing the first bite, as you approached the door to the patio. You laid your hand on it and it unlocked for you. Stepping outside, you inhaled the fresh air deeply. That made you feel slightly better.

<><><>

In Berlin, Tony’s watch beeped. He looked away from the table where he was having a late lunch with a fellow boss and their crew that was helping him secure capital in the city. FRIDAY was alerting him that Y/N had activated the system to go outside. His face screwed up in confusion, calculating quickly what time it was back home in Malibu. It would be a little after 4:25am.

“Excuse me, would you?” Tony asked and the other boss nodded, taking a drink of their beer. Tony slipped his tablet out of his bag as he left the table.

Walking away from the table, he moved towards the balcony overlooking the city. Holding the tablet up, he accessed the cameras at home, pulling up the outside cameras since she had left to the patio. He was on edge, wondering what the hell she was doing outside so early.

She was just sitting in one of the chairs, eating a piece of bread, which only served to confuse him more. But at least she was there; she had not run off.

He watched her for a few moments before movement by the door caught his eye and he saw Happy step outside.

“Good man,” Tony said under his breath, knowing FRIDAY would have alerted Happy too in the guest room he was in per Tony’s programming. He would have been severely disappointed if Happy had not come outside to check on her.

The two of them were speaking and Tony did not miss the concerned look on Happy’s face.

Suddenly, Y/N jerked forward, vomiting all over the cement, barely missing Happy’s slippers much to Tony’s shock. Was she hung over? That would explain the bread.

Happy came closer and his hand came to her back, steadying her as she leaned over the side of the chair. He was speaking quickly to her and she shook her head, and he shook his right back at her. Tony watched Happy settle her back and hold up a hand to her, before he went back towards the door, leaving her out there.

When he came back out, he had some napkins and some water. She shook her head at the water and he forced it towards her.

“Looks like someone had a little too much fun last night,” Tony said to himself before closing the camera. He had no further reason to be concerned about it; it looked like Happy had it perfectly under control.

Which is why when he had just got sat back down at the table, his cell phone started to ring. The other boss laughed at his expense, making a comment about him being a busy man. Tony apologized and checked his watch, seeing it was Happy. He excused himself again quickly and got up.

“What?” Tony asked. “I just got sat down at the table.”

“I’m gonna make an appointment for Y/N. Where do you want her to go?” Happy cut in immediately.

“What? What for?”

“She doesn’t feel good.”

“Yeah, I saw. Got a good view of that vomit. How much did she have to drink last night?”

“Nothing. She didn’t drink anything,” Happy told him, surprising Tony. “She didn’t feel well yesterday either and I told her to tell me if it got worse. Did she tell you when she spoke to you on the phone last night?”

“No. What do you mean she’s not feeling well?”

“Nausea she said. Maybe she has a stomach bug, I don’t know. But food poisoning doesn’t generally last two days.”

Tony rubbed his forehead and sighed. “Um, just take her to my guy. She’s on my insurance plan. She’s been to him before.”

“Not the ER?”

“You think it’s an ER type of situation?”

“I’m not sure. I mean, throwing up usually isn’t an ER thing but I don’t know.”

“Did she throw up yesterday?”

“No, not that I know of.”

“No other symptoms?”

“No.”

“Hmm,” Tony said to himself more than anything. He pondered on it and tapped the railing as he weighed the options. Something came to him then and he straightened up. A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as he thought more about it.

“Boss?”

Shaking his head, Tony cleared his throat, “You know, no. On second thought, no. No doctor or ER.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m heading back tonight. You know, if she starts showing other symptoms, take her to the doctor. My guy. But I think she’ll be fine.”

Happy said slowly, “Um, alright…”

“Morning sickness, Hap. Not to get too excited about it yet but… fits the bill.”

“Oh,” Happy said and Tony could hear the realization peaking in his voice. “Right.”

“So, just keep an eye on her. I’ll be on the plane soon and then I’ll just stop on the way home at the pharmacy. Get a test,” Tony said, feeling lighter about the situation. “Order her some 7-Up or something, soups. Just keep her comfortable for me, yeah?”

“You got it,” Happy confirmed.

<><><>

“We have lunch plans, but Tony is taking forever,” you told Steve as the two of you boarded the elevator to go down further into the building.

Anticipation was nipping at your heels; you had not explored this part of the building yet. Steve had come to speak to Tony but when he was told by Angelica that Tony was busy, he was quick to brush off needing to see him. He just needed to go downstairs to pick something up. You had practically thrown down the magazine you were pretending to read, asking if you could come with. He had been polite and courteous, telling you he would love the company. Angelica looked like she wanted to say something, but you purposely ignored her, walking by and following Steve.

“Oh? Where are you going for lunch?” Steve asked interested.

“This place Pepper suggested. Mario’s. Up in the Bronx.”

“Never been.”

“I trust her opinion. She seems to know what she’s talking about.”

“That she does,” Steve smiled back.

“What are you doing here though?” you inquired, switching gears.

“I need another set of batteries for one of my weapons.”

“You couldn’t go to the store?” you asked confused.

Steve chuckled, throwing you an amused look. “No, they’re special batteries.”

“Oh…”

Steve immediately noticed your embarrassment and he quickly said, “Not like you would know that. That’s something I would think too. But the batteries are special. What you said was logical.”

Logical. Not an adjective you heard attributed to you often. Maybe never.

The elevator door opened, and you hesitated seeing the men standing guard outside it but Steve strode out, unperturbed by them. You followed him, catching up to his long strides.

“Why did you want to come down here though besides Tony taking too long?” Steve asked, eyeing you curiously as the pair of you walked.

“One, I was bored as you can imagine, waiting for him to finish whatever he was doing. And two, Tony didn’t let me see anything except his office or the boardroom since I’ve been here. Said it wasn’t important for me to see it. But I want to.”

“Hmm,” Steve said shooting you a look. “You think you should be down here then?”

“I don’t see why not. I can keep secrets well enough if that’s what everyone is worried about.”

Steve’s lips curled into a soft smile at that, his eyes running over you.

You were taking in all the people working, the technology they were using. It was like the garage back home where Tony worked but far, far more busy. It was a little overwhelming.

Steve was nodding at random people who greeted him in awe. He came to a stop in front of someone though standing behind a desk.

She looked up and smiled, recognizing him on sight. “That was quick, Cap.” He eyes turned to you and she faltered, “And…”

“Y/N. Tony’s wife,” Steve introduced you.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you,” she apologized immediately. You took note that her bade said her name was Eva.

“How could you have? I’ve never been down here before,” you said, giving her a small reassuring smile.

She relaxed at your calm demeanor and turned to grab something off the desk behind her. Handing it to Steve, she told him, “So, there’s backups in there too so you don’t need to make another trip so soon.”

“Nice, that’s thoughtful. Thank you,” Steve commented.

“You’re going to want to update your system though. I’ll send you a link to do so on the secure network,” Eva went on explaining.

���Alright, I’ll figure it out.” Steve looked at you and said sheepishly, “Tech isn’t my strong point. I have gotten better though, so there’s hope.”

“I can’t keep up with Tony sometimes and I’ve been around technology my whole life. I mean, my whole house is a giant computer essentially,” you responded. “Could not even begin to explain to you how it works.”

“It’s complicated but it’s helpful right?” Eva asked lightheartedly. You nodded and she said, “I’ll be the first to admit I wouldn’t be able to keep up with how Mr. Stark talks about tech either. Could not even begin to fathom how his brain works. I swear he’s not speaking English sometimes when he’s giving presentations.”

You snorted, as did Steve. “I can attest to that,” Steve agreed. “I just let him lead when it comes to this type of stuff.”

You could relate to that. You let Tony lead in pretty much every facet.

“Same. It’s just easier to stand behind him,” you said. Steve’s brow creased at your comment and you suddenly felt uncomfortable. Trying to draw attention away from it, you gestured at the box. “May I?”

“Oh, yeah,” Steve said, handing it over to you.

You opened the box and touched the odd shaped metal. “Definitely doesn’t look like normal batteries.”

“Nope,” Eva agreed.

Steve was looking at you with purpose when you handed the box back to him. His gaze slid to Eva and he asked, “Do you have some time?”

“For what, Mr. Rogers?”

“A small tour. Mrs. Stark hasn’t been able to see around the building because Tony has been busy, and a little explanation of some things down here might scratch her itch?” Steve looked at you for approval. “I mean, if you want that, of course.”

Excitement flared up and you nodded, “Yeah. I probably have time. Especially if there’s things to look at that won’t put me in a ‘we can show you but then we will have to kill you’ type of spot.”

Eva laughed at that. “There’s some of that available, yes.” She gestured past the desk behind her. “Shall we?”

Steve held out his arm to you and you took it appreciatively.

Eva started at a microchip, explaining it had the startings of being able to upload a personality to a robot to mimic a sentient being.

“So, like Vision?” you asked.

“Yes. Like Vision. But definitely nowhere near as advanced or powerful as he is. This is… it would be like a bodyguard for example?”

“A nanny for the baby when you need a break?” Steve joked quietly into your ear. You looked at him perplexed at the admission he knew and his smile fell. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—Tony told the team. I’m sorry if it was still supposed to be a secret?”

You waved it off quickly. “It’s fine. It’s you guys he told. You’re not nobodies.”

Though you did dislike that Tony was being so free with the information. You were only about two months along. He was getting too excited about it too soon whereas you were worried, your pessimism getting the better of you.

“And I’m sure I’ll need a break,” you joked back to Steve and he relaxed as the two of you followed Eva, her pointing things out that she could share.

You were so engrossed in what she was saying you only saw Tony’s reflection in the glass wall behind her at the last second.

You turned your head quickly and said innocently, “You’re done upstairs, then?”

“Rogers,” Tony said tightly, his eyes shooting to your arms intertwined before snapping back to Steve’s face. He looked very suspicious; you knew that look. Jealousy.

“Tony,” Steve returned, and he gracefully let your arm fall. He held up the box, “Thanks for the battery replacement. And the reminder to come grab it. I definitely would have forgotten without it.”

Tony by stepped his last comments. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Sure,” Steve said, tossing Eva a look. He held up the box to her now and said, “Thanks for being so prompt with this. It was helpful. And thanks for the walk.”

<><><>

When they were out of earshot, Tony told him firmly in hushed tones, “I’m not sure why you thought it was appropriate but don’t bring Y/N down here in the future.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know she wasn’t allowed until we were already down here,” Steve said and he saw Tony frown deeply. “She did say you didn’t wanna show her around the building after we came down here and I did ask if she thought she should be down here at all. Figured to just keep her close until we went back upstairs.”

“No, she shouldn’t be down here. I don’t want her knowing anything. Puts her at risk, knowledge. Kidnappings and whatnot.”

“I think being married to you, Tony, is what puts her at risk for that.”

Tony’s closed lipped smile did not reach his eyes; he was not amused with Steve’s quip.

“Regardless, for the future, don’t let the curiosity kill the cat. She’s better off naïve about it. Even if she’s learning on the arm of America’s golden boy.”

Silence ate away at the two of them for a few moments before Steve shrugged, relenting. He said stoically, “Understood.”

“Good,” Tony clipped. “Now if you’ll excuse me, my wife and I have lunch plans and I fear I’ve kept her waiting for far too long.”

Steve shook his head as soon as Tony brushed past him, leaving him by the elevator.

<><><>

You had thanked Eva before telling her she should probably go back to work now that the boss was in the room. She picked up on your joke but did it all the same. You paced slowly, watching carefully as Tony spoke with Steve. They were both tense and you sighed, knowing he was likely cursing Steve for assisting you down here. He really did not want you to know anything about most of his work whether it be here or out on the streets or in the political arena.

He came back to you and you gave him a smile, that he did not return.

“What were you doing down here?” he asked tightly, his hand coming to the small of your back and directing you back towards the elevator where he had left Steve who had already gone back up.

“Looking around,” you told him. “I was bored.”

“Do you not remember me telling you to not go poking around?”

“Yes, but I was curious.”

“It would make me happy if you would listen to me,” Tony said, nodding at one of his workers as he passed. “Don’t you wanna make me happy, kitten?”

“85 percent of the time,” you quipped, trying to get him to smile. But he still did not and your own slowly melted away as he responded.

“I think that sounds about right.”

There was something off about him, but you could not figure out what. You elected to stay quiet the rest of the stride to the elevator. He pressed the button to the elevator to come back down, his fingers on his other hand drawing lazy circles on the small of your back. Every so often though, his fingers dug in slightly and you did your best to not flinch away.

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21, @undecidedsworld

Fic tags: @kvzctam @farihafangirls, @teenageregression @mrsnegan25 @lilacs-lavender @agustdowney @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @emmariexx

[asterekmess]

Has Scott ever given Boyd the money he owed him in Teen Wolf Season 2? Stiles is the one who asks and pays Boyd for they keys to the ice rink because Scott wanted to go on a secret date with Allison – Stiles and Lydia went skating too, but they weren’t dating, they were just hanging out as friends and keeping Scott and Allison company – but what about Scott? He has a job he can use to at least help with paying for the things that HE wants, like Boyd’s keys

Well, I don’t think Scott owes Boyd any money? I’m not sure what you mean. Like you said, Stiles pays Boyd for the keys to the rink.

I agree that it was a bit of a weird incongruity that they showed Stiles having no job and Scott getting raises at his own job, but Stiles is the one paying for everything? He pays for gas, for the keys to the rink. He either pays for or steals those chains in S1 for Scott on the full moon.

I mean, i guess maybe they were trying to show that Scott couldn’t afford these things even with a job, while Stiles could without a job, but....that makes no sense. I’ve ranted about it like a thousand times, but Stiles and Scott are Not poor. THe whole plotline of Scott and his mother suddenly being on the verge of homelessness (I barely remember it) makes NO sense? Scott’s mother is an RN, who makes good money. I’ve done the research before and the average RN salary in the area of California that they live is above 60k a year. They’re NOT poor. Add to this Scott’s father, who is a well paid FBI agent and clearly cares about his son, so he wouldn’t be the type to skimp or shirk his Child Support payments, and they Are Not Poor. Even looking at Scott’s asthma and possible medical needs. His mother likely gets decent insurance seeing as she, ya know, works for the Hospital. It’s the same for Stiles, btw. While you could make the argument that his mother’s illness and medical bills/debt would take its toll on the family income, you have to take into account the insurance his father would have through the sheriff’s position, and how average salary for sheriff’s in that area of california is like 75k. Again. Not Poor. TW’s whole bit about two ‘broke’ kids is total bullshit. The only poor kid on that show was Boyd, and Isaac was the next closest since his dad used to be a teacher and now works/owns a cemetery, and we only knew Boyd was poor because he was the only person who lived in a house with less than two floors, whose home had bars on the window, and who lived in a Visibly Poor neighbourhood.

This isn’t to say that I don’t recognize how much Stiles gives up monetarily to help Scott. It’s not a small amount. HIs jeep is destroyed Multiple Times in the show and I doubt anyone was able to help pay for getting it fixed. Just in the beginning of S2, we hear that Stiles was going to have to pay $1,500 to get his car fixed for reasons supposedly unrelated to the supernatural stuff he’d already gone through, like getting his car battery (and the wires) ripped out, or the hood bent to shit.

Stiles gives up a lot, financially, emotionally, physically, and especially temporally.

I can’t remember where I was going with this. I hope I answered your question.

[goryroyalty]

One of *Those* Days

High school au, (though it's never specifically said in the story.) Angst/some fluff.

Depressed Roman, self-deprecating(?) thoughts (Idk, just depressing and insulting thoughts), food mention, only one swear, I think? Did I miss anything?

Roman is having a rough morning and Remus comes to comfort them. (Also, both of them fall somewhere under the non-binary umbrella, though their exact labels are never stated.)

(I'm venting a bit tbh. I don't do this as much anymore, but I used to do it almost everyday. It sucked.)

Copper eyes fluttered open to find their room lit up with early morning light filtering through the gap between the room darkening curtains. Funny, last they remembered it was five in the morning and now- their phone screen lit up- it was almost eight o'clock. The house was silent as their parents had already left for work. They weren't aware their child had only just woke up eight minutes before school started. They had no intention of going either.

Roman sighed, a heavy feeling in their chest, and rolled onto their side. They shoved their phone under their pillow and stared at the wall blankly. Simply rolling over had taken every ounce of motivation they had. Now, all they could do was lie in bed and let their mind wander. The heavy feeling had spread throughout their entire body. It almost hurt. Their thoughts weren't focused on anything particular for a long time, just wandering aimlessly. Their phone vibrated from under the pillow, but they made no effort to grab it. At least not for a while. A few more vibrations later, their arm moved slowly when curiosity gave them some motivation to grab their phone and unlock it.

ChaosBabe (idk, I'm not good at coming up with nicknames)

u not at school 2day?

8:01

btw it/its 2day

8:01

ur missin out on Nerd gettin heated bout the way i txt again

8:03

u ok? pls respond

8:10

Roman thought of words to reply back, but their fingers didn't move to text them. Typing 'Yeah, just want to stay home.' felt like too much work, even just typing a simple yes or no was too much. Roman sighed and exited their messages, clicking on Tumblr. It didn't take long to scroll down to where they had started last night. They went to the top, refreshed a couple times, and exited the app. They stared at their wallpaper, which was Disney themed, of course, until their phone locked. They opened it again and went to Instagram. They scrolled through every social media they had with a blank stare.

15% of battery remaining

Roman dismissed the alert, getting another notification immediately after.

ChaosBabe

Ro, pls let me know if you need anything. I mean it: anything.

12:27

The teen in bed hummed, wondering how it'd passed noon already. Still, they didn't move from where they lie. Well, they did finally roll over onto their other side. They found them-self back on Tumblr again, scrolling through the posts they'd already seen. Their phone screen flashed with the screen that said the phone's type before turning completely black. Roman let out a long sigh and let go of their phone, not caring much when it slid off onto the floor.

'Well, this is pathetic, isn't it?' Roman thought, 'I can't even drag myself out of bed. This is so stupid. Just get up and get going. Why am I so lazy all the time?'

Roman's train of thought continued on that downhill track. Soon, the track ended and it was just free-fall. Tears came to Roman's copper-colored eyes but didn't fall. They felt tired, but sleep did not come. Was it really a sleepy tired, or was it simply just...tired? Roman thought it might be both. Their stomach growled, pulling their thoughts to some coherency again. They focused on food for a few moments before their mind wandered off into a daydream.

The front door opening jump-started Roman's brain. 'Did Dad come home early or is it really already five? I didn't do any chores today. Shit.'

Roman rolled over and buried their face in their pillows, not wanting to hear about how they hadn't done dishes or vacuumed or whatever hadn't visibly been done. 'Maybe, just maybe, he'll think I'm asleep and leave me alone. Or even realize something is wrong and try to comfort me? But what is wrong and how would I want to be comforted by him?'

Roman's bedroom door opened and footsteps neared their bed. They were a bit confused when the person slid in bed beside them until they heard the slight groan as they stretched, "Mm, your bed is so soft. Feels amazing."

Roman relaxed at the realization it was only Remus. They immediately thought how they wanted to turn and cuddle it. They did at least shift onto their back, staring up at the ceiling. Remus draped an arm across them, "So...one of those days? Any way that I can help?"

'Hold me. Drag me out of bed. Slap me. Shake me like a rag doll until I stop this pity party of mine.' Roman replied in their head, but their mouth felt like it couldn't move. They wanted so desperately to say something. Anything at this point. Remus sat up and shifted to look down at them, smiling softly and running a hand through their auburn hair. Roman cringed inside at the realization it was most likely greasy. They hadn't showered for a few days. Same with brushing their teeth. Their breath was going to be awful too. Roman closed their eyes as tears came to them when they thought: 'I'm disgusting.'

"Love, if I ask yes or no questions, will you answer them? You don't have to speak. You can find another way to say yes or no." Remus stroked their jaw, studying them for some movement that could be a reply. Roman's tears disappeared and they focused their thoughts on Remus' words, trying to find some will to move. They shifted their arm to rest their hand on their stomach, tapping their index against it once. "Okay, first let me make sure: what is yes?"

Roman tapped once. Remus nodded and hummed, "And no?"

Roman tapped twice. They felt a little silly if they were honest. Remus kissed their forehead, "Good, good. Okay, have you eaten today?"

Two taps.

"Do you want food?"

Roman hesitated, knowing they needed it but did they really want it? They tapped three times.

"I'll take that as a 'maybe' or 'don't know'. Next question, is there something you want me to do for you?"

Another three taps.

"Cuddle you? Carry you out of bed? Bring in food to you?" Remus rambled off the first ideas that came to its mind.

One tap. Pause. One tap. Pause. Two taps.

Remus lied back down, pulling Roman close and kissing their head a couple times. Roman felt the tears come back again, a couple escaping this time before they went away. They hated how pathetic and lazy they felt. Remus sat up with Roman still in its arms, lifting them up as it got to its feet. Roman wrapped their arms around it and buried their face in its shoulder. "Want food, Ro?"

Roman nodded, relieved at the slight progress already. Remus carried them out to the kitchen and set them on a bar stool, "Know what you want?"

Roman shrugged, looking down at the counter with a feeling of guilt and shame building up inside. Remus rubbed their back, "I'll look at what you have and list stuff off then, yeah? Or do you want to look with me or by yourself?"

Roman bit their lip as it trembled a bit. They rested their arms on the counter and buried their face into them. For the first time all day they spoke, though it was only a whisper: "Sorry."

"It's okay, Love, you don't have to apologize. I promise, I really don't mind." Remus hugged them, kissing their shoulder. "I told you I'd do anything for you. I love you, Roman."

"Love you." Roman whispered back, having to clear their throat due to not using their voice for so long. They sat up a little, "I'll look."

After a while of looking through the fridge and pantry a few times, Roman was finally settled on the bar stool with leftovers in front of them. Remus sat beside them, rubbing their back as they slowly ate. Halfway through, Roman spoke again, "I don't like that feeling. I feel so heavy yet empty at the same time. I can't move or speak or do anything. I hate it. I couldn't even reply to you, even though I really wanted to. Everything just feels...too much. It all feels like too much."

"Do you think you could even just text one letter? I was thinking we could come up with a code for when you felt like this. Like one letter means you want me to leave you alone, another for if you just want me to text or call, and another if you want me to come over. I'm honestly not entirely sure how to help or make it go away, but I'll do whatever you want me to do. I'll always be here for you. No matter what, 'kay? Just say the word and I'll do it."

"Thank you, Remus." Roman hugged it, sniffling a bit. "You're more than I deserve."

"I disagree. I think we're practically perfect for each other." Remus hugged them back tightly.

"Practically perfect in every way." Roman mumbled with a slight chuckle.

"Exactly, Mary Poppins." Remus smiled, "Exactly."

Weird ending, sorry.

[neerasrealm]

Christmas with poly!Slenjack, Slendra, and Y/N’s kid from slenjack x single parent!reader (and Jasmine and Juliette if it’s not too much)? Love your writing btw!

I LOVE THIS ASK AND I AM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET TO. I kind of fell out of doing requests and writing except for lore stuff so I apologise. I’m getting back on track now and I’m going to clear out my inbox and get to the requests that have been rotting away in here for so long. I’m sorry for all of this yall :( I just needed a break I guess. Edit: forgot to tag @queenofmandy bc she basically fleshed out the twins and made them developed characters and ik she’ll wanna see this HSDGDSJ

Anyway enjoy!

Your conventional christmas would be spent with family, surely. Dinner with your parents and exchanging gifts with your little boy, Sam. But this year is a little different. You took Sam to see his grandparents that morning. He seems very happy with his gift, and all the extra candy that's probably going to keep both of you on a sugar rush till January. Now though, it's afternoon, and you're headed for another place. Your boyfriends house. Not boyfriend's, boyfriends. Plural. 

"Y'know I don't know HOW Slender keeps managing to get the minivan through to the house," you murmur as you lead Sam through the forest. He giggles and you adjust the big plastic bag in your free hand. "You excited to see em sweetie?"

"Yeah!" He chirps. "Are Jasmine and Juliette gonna be there?"

You laugh a bit. "Sweetheart, it's christmas. They're not going anywhere."

"Juliette doesn't have a date?"

You snort. "For once, no." You chuckle a bit as you walk over the line of mushrooms and into the spacious front yard of the house. Typically, it'll be full of colour from the bushes and flowerbeds, and the large tree in the yard would be bearing lots of fruit, but now it's all covered in snow. You trudge through it, noticing a few snow angels in the ground as you pass, before reaching the front door. You knock a couple times before opening it. They always leave it unlocked for you. "C'mon sweetie." You call gently as you step inside.

You help Sam take off his coat, hat and scarf before doing the same with yourself. He's dressed in a brand new outfit you got him. Denim overalls and a rainbow striped shirt. It's probably obvious where he got that outfit idea from. In the other room up the hall you can hear laughter and yelling. You grab your bag again and walk up the hall, Sam following at your heels.

"Can ye reach luv?"

"Pff- yeh da, I can-"

"Or do ye need ta go higher?!"

"DA! PU' ME DOWN-" Juliette squeals as LJ stretches his arms, lifting her higher up into the air. She kicks her legs and laughs along with him.  You grin as you enter the living room. LJ is holding one of his twin daughters up to the gigantic christmas tree, cackling in amusement. Sam stares up in amazement. 

"Sammy!!" Jasmine, the second twin, squeals as she spots you. She dashes over and sweeps Sam up off the ground, holding him up. ‘’There ye are ye li’le bin lid!’’ she coos. You chuckle a bit. Jasmine adores Sam, and Sam adores Jasmine. She grins.

‘’Hi!’’ Sam chirps quietly. He kicks his legs and giggles at her.

Jasmine puts him down with a grunt. ‘’Ye’re ge’in big, ain’tcha?’’ she says with a wide smile. ‘’No’ g’nna be able ta pick ye up much longer.’’ Sam whines in response and she pats his head. ‘’Don’ worry, da can still lif’ ye up,’’ she looks over at Jasmine. ‘’Righ’ Jules?’’

LJ turns to look at you. His bright blue eyes widen in surprise as he spots you. He puts Juliette down and turns to you, grinning wide. He’s wearing a thick lavender sweater, rather than his usual monochrome outfit. ‘’y/n!’’ he chirps before rushing over to you. He hugs you tight and sweeps you up off the ground. You cry out in surprise and he leans up and pecks a kiss onto your lips. He giggles. ‘’I’s good ta see ya luv!’’

You laugh a bit. ‘’You too, sweetie.’’ you reply fondly before kissing him again. He blushes a soft pink and giggles some more.

“'Ow are ye, me dear?" He asks softly, looking up at you with big blue eyes. You smile gently at him.

"Good. Saw my parents. Sam is really happy," you glance over at your son and smile. He's excitedly talking with the twins, probably about the gifts he got earlier. You look back at LJ. "How about you, birthday boy?" 

He grins and giggles. "Pre'y good," he gently sets you down again and toys with the sleeves of his sweater. "Th' kiddos 'ave been 'avin' a grea' time." He glances at the girls. Juliette notices and pauses for a moment, giving a gap-toothed grin and waving before going back to playing with Sam.

The kitchen door suddenly swings open behind him. "Jasmine dear can you-" Slender leans out of the kitchen before suddenly noticing you. "Y/n!" He steps out into the living room, having seemingly forgotten about Jasmine. You smile softly as he walks over to you. He’s wearing a red apron with a fluffy white trim. He leans down and you peck a kiss onto where his mouth would be. He stands up again. ‘’You’re early.’’

His stern tone surprises you. ‘’I am?’’

‘’Yes! You said you’d be here by three, it’s half past two!’’ he glares at you and you laugh nervously.

‘’Oh. Oops.’’ you murmur. He stands up and sighs, moving quickly back to the kitchen.

‘’It’s fine, it’s fine- you’ll just have to wait a little for lunch.’’ he mutters. 

Sam’s head perks up, noticing Slender. He grins.‘’Slendy!’’ he squeaks. Slender stops for a moment and looks at him. A tendril reaches over and pats his head of messy curls. Sam giggles and Slender disappears into the kitchen again. 

‘’’E’s comple’ly run off ‘is fee’, th’ poor bugger…’’ Jack murmurs behind you. You glance at him and he shakes his head, sighing. ‘’Ev’ry year ‘e does this, worries abou’ makin’ th’ day perfec’...wish ‘e’d jus’ relax fer once, ye know?’’ he looks down at you and shrugs, as if to say there isn’t really much to be done about it. 

‘’y/n!’’ you turn around at the sound of your name being called. Standing in front of the kitchen door is Slendra, LJ and Slender’s third daughter. She’s short, but also taller than her older sisters. Her hair is fiery, turning from blonde to red at the tips, and she has small horns that curl toward her face. Her skin is a reddish-brown, with golden eyes and freckles across her face. She’s wearing a small red dress with a white collar and trim. She smiles at you, hands clasped together politely. ‘’Happy christmas!’’

You smile and step toward her. She runs over and hugs you. ‘’Happy christmas, sweetheart.’’ you murmur softly. She steps away and looks at the bag in your hand.

‘’Want me to take that?’’ she asks, polite as ever. You chuckle and pull it away.

‘’No, no. Those are the presents.’’ you wink at her. She looks surprised for a second before breaking into a grin. You can feel LJ’s eyes gazing intently at your back. He definitely heard that. You walk past Slendra and crouch down at the gigantic christmas tree. A bonus of having a big house with high ceilings. You take your gifts out, one by one, and set them under the tree. You glance up and see LJ is standing next to the tree, watching you intently. You giggle. ‘’You’ll get yours later, sweetie. Promise.’’ you chide. He smiles and laughs a bit before moving over to you. You let out a noise of surprise as he suddenly picks you up and carries you past the kids to the couch. You laugh a bit as he sets you down. 

‘’Ya want anyfink, luv?’’ he asks. You think for a moment.

‘’A drink would be nice.’’ you say before glancing at Sam. ‘’Sweetie, do you want anything?’’

He looks over his shoulder at you. ‘’Do you have batteries?’’ he asks. Jack arches a brow and looks at you.

‘’He got a car from his grandma. It needs batteries.’’ you murmur. He smiles in understanding and nods before reaching into his sleeve. 

‘’Sure, kiddo.’’ he pads over to him and pulls out a package of batteries. ‘’Le’ th’ girls pu’ ‘em in, okay? Don’ want’cha ge’in ‘urt.’’ 

Sam grins and nods, taking the batteries. ‘’Thanks Jackie!’’ he chirps before handing them off to Jasmine. Slendra walks past them as LJ disappears into the kitchen, sitting down beside you with a sigh. You tilt your head at her and smile. 

‘’I like the dress.’’ you say simply. She looks at you and smiles. ‘’You been working in the kitchen?’’ 

She nods. ‘’Yeah. Mum needs ‘elp, and th’ twins are lazy soooo…’’

‘’I ‘eard tha’!’’ Juliette calls, glaring at you both. The two of you laugh. You listen to Slendra talk about her morning so far. She got some notebooks, a new dress from her uncle and a couple stuffed toys. You listen to her ramble about the lunch she’s been helping Slender make. Apparently she’s supposed to get more gifts, later, after everyone’s eaten. Slender and LJ must be saving some for when you and Sam came over. Considerate, you wouldn’t expect anything less.

"Ere luv," LJ's voice makes you look up from your conversation. He's holding a glass of champagne in one hand. He smiles at you and holds it out. "Budge up, will ya?" He moves over and takes a seat on the couch, putting himself in between you and Slendra. Definitely on purpose, as he ruffles the girl's hair affectionately. 

"Pops! Be careful! If ye mess up me 'air mum will be mad!" She squeals, pouting. LJ laughs and looks at you.

"Kids, eh?"

You roll your eyes. "Tell me about it." You reply with a grin. You sip your champagne and look over at Sam and the twins. The car is up and running, and it's spinning around the floor in donuts. You smile a bit, watching Sam play with the twins (if by playing you mean listening to them talk his ears off).

The kitchen door swings open and you glance aside. Slender seems to smile. ‘’Lunch is ready, my dears.’’ he calls softly. You smile and get up. Jack takes your hand in his and tugs you into the kitchen. You can hear the twins behind you, still talking to Sam. He doesn’t seem to mind. He’s probably happy to be included in a conversation, especially with much older kids. The second you enter the kitchen you’re hit with the heavenly smell of fresh-baked pastry and roasting meat. You glance around, admiring the decorations before your eyes fall on the table. It’s practically a banquet, with plates of pastries, bowls of vegetables, a roasted ham and what you assume to be a casserole? You stare in wonder at the pigs-in-blankets before the sound of a cork popping makes you look up and over at Slender, who’s holding a bottle of wine. ‘’Do you want a drink, dears?’’

‘’I’ll ‘ave one!’’ Juliette calls with a grin as she sits down at the table. She ushers Sam to come over and sit between her and Jasmine. 

Slender shakes his head. ‘’I know you do, Juliette.’’ he murmurs. ‘’You too Jasmine?’’ he asks. The girl nods. He doesn’t even need to ask Jack, he already knows it’s a yes. He looks over at you as he walks over to the table. ‘’y/n? Wine?’’

You smile and nod as you sit down beside Jack, across from Juliette. ‘’Sure.’’ Sam watches Slender pour out the wine and glances at you.

‘’Can I have some too?’’ he asks innocently. Your eyes widen with surprise and Jack wheezes beside you. The twins both cock a brow, looking at him in bemusement. Slendra watches him from her own seat, seemingly impressed by his brave ask. 

‘’No, wine isn’t-’’

‘’Sure, sweetie,’’ you interrupt Slender, catching LJ’s eye and grinning slyly. ‘’One of the girls can give you a sip, can’t they?’’ you look over at Jasmine. Her eyes narrow at you for a moment, seemingly debating if she wants to go along with you or not. Eventually she gives in, holding her glass to Sam.

‘’Aight.’’

‘’Jasmine!’’ Slender practically shrieks, making LJ snicker. Slendra has to slap a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing. Sam takes the glass from Jasmine and takes a small sip. 

His nose scrunches up in disgust and he shakes his head. ‘’That’s icky!’’ he declares. Juliette wheezes beside him, leaning her hand on the table for support. You can’t help it- you start laughing too. LJ is the same, cackling with that infectious laugh that has Slendra giggling beside him. Slender folds his arms.

‘’You’re all ruining christmas.’’ he mutters before sighing. ‘’Slendra, Sam, do you want juice?’’

‘’Yes please.’’ they both chirp. The rest of you start eating, passing around plates and bowls. The food is delicious. The roast potatoes are cooked to a perfect crisp, the meat is juicy and flavorful and the casserole is apparently potato, cheese and chicken. The pastries too are perfect. Fluffy and crispy, filled with delicious vegetables and meat. This is supposed to be just lunch?

‘’I think I did the ham wrong.’’ Slender murmurs, breaking the silence. You didn’t even realise nobody was talking, you were all too busy eating. You glance at him in surprise. ‘’It’s a bit too sweet.’’

Jack rolls his eyes. ‘’Slen, ye did i’ grand. ‘Ones’ly, this is amazin’. This is good enough fer th’ bluddy queen.’’ he gives Slender a firm look and you nod in agreement.

‘’Yeah,’’ you pause to swallow the bite of casserole in your mouth. ‘’This is delicious, sweetheart. I don’t think I’ve ever had something this good! Definitely better than I can do, right Sam?’’ 

The boy nods. ‘’Yeah! You could never make something as good as Slendy’s cooking!’’ he chirps. Your smile drops.

‘’Gee, thanks.’’

The twins giggle on either side of him. You roll your eyes playfully and get back to eating. The food is amazing, as you expected, and the meal is fun. LJ and Slender’s family are always fun to be around. The twins poke fun at each other, LJ makes bad jokes and Slender always has a blunt comment to add that makes you and Slendra laugh in unison. By the time you’re finished eating, you’re stuffed, and dinner feels like an impossible task. Slender shoo’s everyone out of the kitchen, and LJ leads you by the hand to the living room and onto the couch. He pulls you onto his lap, nuzzling against your neck lovingly. He feels soft, like a giant pillow, which makes you giggle. Jasmine shoots you a dirty look, but it disappears when Slender walks into the room. 

‘’Are we ready for gifts?’’ he asks. Sam and LJ’s heads snap up, looking at him. You laugh a bit.

‘’Think so.’’ you reply. You wriggle out of LJ’s arms and move over to the tree, crouching down. ‘’You guys mind if I go first? I uh- put a lot of effort into my gifts and wanted to make them really special…’’ you look over your shoulder and smile a bit. LJ grins and Slender nods. You smile and sit back on your knees, pulling out two of the presents. ‘’Uhh...these are for Slendra and Juliette.’’ you turn around, holding out the gifts. The two girls walk over, taking their gifts. Juliette shakes hers, since her gift is bigger, while Slendra kneels down and carefully unwraps the paper on her gift. She gasps and holds it up.

‘’No way!’’ she grins at you. In her hands is a small box, with transparent plastic on the front, showing off the bow-tie inside. In the centre is a bright blue gem, and on either side, several peacock feathers. She grins and looks down at it. ‘’This is so fancy!’’

You chuckle. ‘’Yeah! I saw it and- well I remembered that time we went to the zoo.’’ you smile at her. She chuckles.

Juliette suddenly squeals and you turn to look at her. She’s grinning wide. ‘’Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!’’ she squeals, picking up the box. 

LJ tilts his head from the couch. ‘’Wo’ is i’, luv?’’ he asks, smiling in amusement. 

‘’A nail kit!’’ she squeaks. ‘’L-Like in th’ salons! ‘Cept I can do i’ a’ ‘ome now!’’ she grins, turning the box over to look at the information on the back. You chuckle.

‘’I remember coming over here and hearing you complain about how expensive getting your nails done is so…’’

She looks up at you and smiles in surprise. ‘’Ye were listenin’ t’ all’a’?’’ she asks, her voice soft and taken aback. You nod and tilt your head.

‘’Of course I was.’’ you reply. She looks down at the box again and smiles wider. She looks genuinely happy. You grab the other gifts and stand up. One large, flat triangle and an elegant black bag. You walk over to the couch and hold out the triangular gift to Jasmine. Jasmine has always been a little...wary of you. You don’t blame her. You’re dating her parents so it makes sense. She takes the gift, unwrapping it curiously. 

Her eyes widen and she gasps. It’s a large, heart-shaped eyeshadow palette. ‘’I’ve been savin’ up fer this!’’ she yelps. You catch LJ’s eye and he winks at you. Jasmine looks up at you and smiles, pressing the palette to her chest. ‘’...Thanks y/n. I luv i’.’’

‘’Ye be’er plan on sharin’ tha’!’’ Juliette calls. Jasmine purses her lips and narrows her eyes.

‘’...only if ye do me nails fer me.’’

‘’Deal.’’ 

You laugh and turn to LJ and Slender. You smile nervously and reach into the bag. ‘’I hope you guys don’t mind...I combined your gifts into one.’’ they both tilt their heads curiously as you pull out two small white boxes. You hand one to each of them. ‘’You guys are...really open about yourselves. I mean- the matching wedding rings, eheh- and I know I’ve only been dating you guys a couple months but...I wanted to get something that represents all three of us.’’

LJ opens his box and pulls out a small, gold necklace. He gasps. ‘’Oooh!’’ he grins, eyes sparkling excitedly. 

Slender is more delicate as he lifts up his own necklace, examining it. ‘’Oh- oh! Oh, dear you shouldn’t have…’’ you can tell he’s really happy. His head turns, looking at LJ. ‘’Dear do you- know what the symbol on it is…?’’

LJ looks up. ‘’Eh?’’ he looks down at the necklace. ‘’I’s er- well i’s a ‘eart, and one ‘f em uh- infini’y symbols!’’ he looks up, smiling, seemingly proud of himself for getting it right. You laugh a bit.

‘’I mean you’re half right,’’ you murmur. He looks at you as you tug out the gold chain around your neck, revealing that you yourself have a necklace to match them. ‘’It’s an infinity heart...it’s a symbol for polyamory. It represents us.’’ you explain softly. LJ looks at you in surprise, then smiles. 

‘’Awe...luv…’’ he grins and reaches over, pulling you onto his lap. You giggle and grab his necklace, fastening it on for him. He smiles proudly and pecks a kiss onto your forehead. You laugh again, blushing hard. Slender suddenly taps your shoulder, catching your attention. You look up at him.

He’s holding a small gift, wrapped in festive red paper. Curious, you take it and pull off the paper. Inside are two things. A picture frame, and a piece of paper. You flip over the picture and your face lights up. It’s a picture of yourself, Slender and LJ from one of your first dates. You smile. ‘’Awe...Slender…’’ you don’t even have to ask if it was his idea. This has his name written all over it. He pats your head, pleased that you like it. Your attention turns to the slip of paper. You grab it, flipping it over. Your eyes widen and you look up at Slender. ‘’A- a spa weekend…?’’

‘’Tha’ wuz my idea.’’ Jack says above you, sounding proud. You look up at him in surprise and he smiles. ‘’Ye work real ‘ard, y/n...fer Sam, fer me an’ Slen...ye deserve a break. Ta trea’ yerself.’’ he leans in close and kisses your cheek. His clawed hand runs through your hair.

‘’We can look after Sam while you take the weekend to yourself.’’ Slender adds. You look up at him, then back at LJ. You smile softly. ‘’We really care about you, my dear…’’

‘’Yeh!’’ LJ smiles at you gently and caresses your cheek. His expression softens. ‘’...ye are g’nna look after yerself, righ’ luv?’’ he asks. ‘’Cuz we care abou’ ye...a lo’.’’ he tilts his head, cupping your face in his hand. Slender’s hand rests on your shoulder, reminding you he’s there, and that he loves you. You smile gently and give a meagre nod.

‘’Yeah...I will. promise.’’

[bunivys]

I don’t know why but this feels like nick and Sabrina to me.

- “i said UGLY christmas sweaters not nsfw christmas sweaters, we can NOT wear these, my boss will kill me”

I stayed up late to finish this one because I could not, for the life of me, stop laughing LOL. Here you go, thank you for sending this in! ❤️😹 (btw, this is set in some random mortal AU lol)

“Nick!” Sabrina called as she bounded up the mortuary’s stairway, the front door shutting behind her, heels hanging by their straps in her hands. “Did you get the sweaters like I asked?”

The annual Christmas festival was being held in Greendale’s city park at the very center of the downtown district. It was a small patch of green set in between the buildings, and, as of that morning, it had been crammed full of various food and art booths, set to sell Christmas trinkets and last-minute gifts, as well as handmade decor like wreaths and ornaments. Hilda herself was going to be there selling her famous Christmas cookies. 

More importantly, Sabrina had been in charge of organizing it, answering directly to the town’s Mayor. She was set to take the stage and introduce the event that evening, and her nerves had been on edge since the second she had woken up. Nick had offered her several extra kisses on her way out that morning, letting her know that if she needed anything to text him. Halfway through the day, it had dawned on her that she’d forgotten to order a set of ugly Christmas sweaters for them to wear to the event and had tasked him with taking care of it.

“Of course,” Nick said, the door to her room swinging wide open to reveal him. “I literally only had one job, and I did it.”

“Oh, thank God.” She followed him into the room. “Let me see what you got.”

Across her bed were randomly splayed Christmas sweaters and as Sabrina glanced over them, her eyes shot wide open. She had requested ugly sweaters, things covered in tinsel and pom-poms and stupid, harmless phrases, but definitely not this.

“Nick,” Sabrina squawked, “are you freaking serious?” Nick looked entirely too innocent as she lifted up one of the sweaters, holding it up to her chest so that it faced him. Along the front of it, in bold, sparkly text in varying Christmas colors, it read: Unwrap me for a naughty surprise. 

“What?” Nick replied, pressing his lips together in order to keep a straight face. “You don’t have to pick that one, there are plenty to choose from.” He motioned toward the pile.

“Oh, really?” Sabrina grabbed for another, her voice tight as she picked up a green sweater with a string of battery-operated lights attached to the front. “You mean like this one that says: ‘Please turn me on.’ Or wait, maybe—” she tossed that one at him, pausing only long enough to hold up a different one with a winking Santa on it,  “—‘Ask your mom if I’m real?’” Her voice rose in pitch as she read it out, ringing deep with disbelief and utter shock at the thought that a sweater like that could even exist.

“’Jingle my bells’?” Sabrina nearly shouted a second later.

Nick chuckled.

“This isn’t funny! You’ve lost your goddamned mind, Nicholas!” She knew she was frowning, and she thought one of her eyes might have been twitching from anger. Ambrose came sauntering in, drawn in by the volume of her voice ringing through the house. 

“What’s going on?” Ambrose asked. “I’m pretty sure the neighbors can hear you, and they’re all dead.”

Sabrina’s face lit up bright red, ready to snap at him, too. Before she could, Nick went on to casually say, “We’re picking between Christmas sweaters. It’s between those or—” he picked up the last one, held it up against his chest that time, and read out, “‘Santa’s favorite ho’”

“Ooh,” Ambrose sang. “I’ll take that one, please!”

“I hate you both,” Sabrina seethed. “This is not what I asked for and you—” She turned to look at Nick, who immediately straightened up and played serious again, even though he had nearly dissolved into laughter with Ambrose a split second earlier. “You—you—”

“Babe,” Nick cut in.

“Do not interrupt me, or so help you God and Satan himself, Nicholas, your soul will forever be tied to the morgue below because I am going to—” She stopped herself, shut her eyes for a few moments, and forced herself to breathe deeply as the reality of the situation slowly dawned on her. There wasn’t enough time to go back to the store. All of them were closed for the evening in anticipation of the festival. She was going to be laughed at forever. “The mayor is going to be there. I’m presenting this stupid event and I have to come in as ‘Santa’s favorite ho?’ Are you serious?”

“That title’s actually taken—” Ambrose interrupted. He shut up quickly when Sabrina shot him a pointed look.

Nick set his hands carefully on her shoulders. “Babe, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking—”

“No shit!”

“I wasn’t thinking it would it would turn into this, Sabrina, I knew you were stressed and I just wanted to make you laugh. Look.” He held up his hands as she tried to barge in with another sentence. “I didn’t show you this one yet.” Nick picked up the last sweater, a little red one she hadn’t noticed had been tossed over her headboard. It had a black cat on the front, similar to Salem, with text that read, ‘Meowy Christmas!’ across the top.

“Oh,” Sabrina exhaled, her anger dialing back several notches suddenly, leaving a small pout on her face instead. “I—Oh. Okay, well, that one works. I guess.”

“I’m so sorry, Sabrina, I was hoping you would laugh.” He held out his arms tentatively. “Come here?”

Sabrina begrudgingly walked into his embrace, and Nick draped his arms around her, rubbing a hand up and down her back. He kissed her hair, her forehead, any part of her he could reach, repeating how sorry he was. 

“Whatever,” Sabrina grumbled, not quite ready to admit that in hindsight, it had been sort of funny. At the very least, she understood that Nick had only tried to cheer her up, even if she was still a little peeved.

“Forgive me?” Nick asked sheepishly. “I might not Santa’s favorite ho, but I could still be yours?”

Sabrina rolled her eyes and took the cat sweater from him, pulling away so that she could off and change before he actually made her laugh with one of his stupid jokes. She was certain they were running late by now, too. “I’m divorcing you,” she announced on her way.

“But we’re not married,” Nick replied, suddenly a little nervous himself.

“Well, consider it never happening now.” 

“Sabrina, wait—”

The door to her bathroom shut, but he briefly saw the corner of her smirk before it was gone.

Ambrose, who had already donned his sweater, shrugged and said, “You can sleep in my room tonight.”

[just-a-creep-babe]

Matchup!

Commissioned by @nemkultra, tysm ^^ 💗✨

~Requests are closed~

Masterlist: x

I match you with: Eyeless Jack

This mans has some hardcore heart eyes for you ngl 💗~💗

You’re just,, so chill and easy to get along with??

Maybe it’s your style—that dark emo kind of fashion that he also tends to stick to himself—but something about you just makes him feel super at ease from the very beginning

In a room full of people, even before he got to know you, he kinda just naturally gravitates towards you tbh

You just have this magnetic pull on him that feels right

Your scent too btw?

It’s kinda weird to say but you smell fckn delicious to him 👀👌

And the fact that you’re pretty short—especially compared to him—combined with your scent & that magnetism really sends his demon instincts in overdrive

Meaning, he ends up getting very protective of you very quickly

He realizes earlier on that you can most certainly take care of yourself, but like,, that’s not gonna stop him from wanting to defend you any way he can

Any threats in the near vicinity, especially the physical/confrontational ones, are nearly nonexistent when he’s around

Which might be more often than you realize

Like I’m not saying he stalks you, he just sometimes keeps a close eye on you,,, from a distance,,,,, usually lurking in the shadows skdkhdksldl

Honestly, lord help anyone who comes near you with aggressive intentions smh

Not only that, but he also can and will remove anyone who’s bugging you or draining you social battery & making you anxious

All ya gotta do is ask or gives him some kind of signal

And even then, if he gets suspicious they’re being rude or unpleasant or anything, he’ll straight up just come to you like “is he bothering you, queen?”

But other than that, he’s a pretty laid-back person ngl

He’s a great listener & will gladly hear you ramble on about anything and nothing

Whatever it might be, whether you just wanna talk about your day or some new songs you’ve discovered, he’ll put you on his lap, stroke through your hair or trace your tattoos while purring contently, listening to you

Boy just wants to be near you and hear your soothing voice as you explain to him your general thoughts & opinions—it makes him so damn happy tbh ^^

He’s a very good bf and will always support you however he can uwu

Even if you don’t really feel like talking, he’s fine with just wrapping his arms around you & quietly enjoying your presence

He might not know much about ADHD, but he will do his research to get a better understand of it & learn how to help any way he can

He does, however, have a bit of PTSD himself, so he already knows a bit on how to help deal with that

So he’s very considerate of any triggers you might have and does his best to keep you safe & happy & comfortable :>

Also like,,,, this man’s presence is so damn comforting

Any time you feel a panic/anxiety attack come on, having him around does wonders

It’s very reassuring to have a tall, strong & protective demon bf in life tbh

Like he knows he’s pretty intimidating, so he‘a got a very calm & relaxed demeanor to make up for it

Knowing this strong ass predatory monster would do anything in his power to protect you from legit anything does wonders to your peace of mind

And having him hold you in his arms, purring and rumbling soothing praises is always very comforting—like the two of you are in your own little world & nothing can reach you

He’s kinda effortlessly powerful, but it goes without saying that he’s an absolute gentleman & would never use that strength against you—with exception in the bedroom, but we’ll get to that later ;)

He doesn’t wanna abuse his capabilities, but he still does end up naturally taking charge tho—both in the streets and in the sheets

Those are just demon instincts for ya ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Boy admires how you don’t take any crap & won’t hesitate to stand up for yourself tho

He likes knowing you’d tell him off if he ever crossed any boundaries; that way he doesn’t have to overthink or worry too much

Also, that nurturing side you’ve got with those strong maternal instincts??

His demonic side is crazy for it

He honestly admires you so damn much, you have no idea ✨🤧

Like he, himself, isn’t the best with kids; he’s kinda scared to hurt them and he’s not really sure how to react around them

But he still appreciates them & their different perspective on life

So he genuinely likes asking how your day went at work, and after a while, he’ll start learning about the kids & asking about them too ^^

If he can help them with any kind of,, situations out of their control, he most certainly will, almost like a guardian demon angel :”)

Like with kids, even if he does appreciate them, he’s also not the best with animals

They can usually sniff out his demon side & it scares them

Cats are sometimes ok with him, but even then, it depends on the cat

So honestly, ya just gotta give him a lil time to adjust to them and vice versa :”>

He’s also a lil freaked out by spiders, snakes, rodents and the like, but he’ll never admit it, so it’s just fun to tease him skdjdksll

He’s a very clean boy himself, so unless he doesn’t eat/sleep for a while & loses control to his demon, you don’t have to worry about him making any kind of mess

Ultimately, this mans is super chill & laid back and will absolutely not hesitate to cuddle up with you any day/any time, whether or not you’re feeling stressed or anxious tbh

You've had a long day & just wanna unwind watching anime or playing video games?

No prob boo; even if he might not understand them, he’ll gladly watch any show with you while offering up some fine back rubs to help you relax 😌👌

He doesn’t really understand poetry either, but he’ll listen to you read it aloud, purring faintly, rubbing his thumbs over your skin and sometimes planting lil kissies here n there 😚😚

He also might try to pick up an instrument, having the faint recollection of knowing how to play from his old life, just to impress you ngl

He just wants to make you happy & care for you because he loves you and thinks you deserve the world uwu

NSFW

Omg you’re honestly like,, the perfect height for him to just pick up & manhandle however he pleases tbh skdjdhslsl 😳😳

When you’re wearing dresses too?

All the easier to use you like a perfect little doll~

But he won’t do it unless he knows it’s alright with you, ofc

Like I said, he’s a gentleman first & foremost 😌👌

Homeboy’s also got a thing for those fishnet tights 👀

So you can bet he might just tear a hole through them & stick his dick in them to fuck your thighs through the lace

He just can’t resist the feeling of your plush thighs squishing his length, squeezing him with the frail material stretching & wrapping so perfectly around him

Don’t worry though, he definitely buys you new clothes all 👏the 👏time 👏to make up for it ;))

Sometimes when he’s feeling like a tease, he’ll settle you down nice and comfy while you’re still wearing those tights & get between your legs to tease his tongue through the material

Loves hearing your little gasps and moans as you try to rub into him for more friction, desperate to feel the entirety of his tongue without that stupid obstruction

Once he thinks you’ve had enough, he won’t be able to hold back any longer before dislocating his jaw and absolutely devouring you until you’re practically shaking against him

But other than the occasional teasing that has you mewling and squirming, this mans will absolutely treat every inch of your body just right 🥴👌

Those belly button & nipple piercings will definitely receive the attention they deserve 👅💦💦

If you’ve had a stressful day at work or if your anxiety’s starting to get the best of you, it’s no prob bb

You can lay back, relax & let him do all the work—having his fun tasting you & shoving his tongue in and out of your dripping core~

He’ll be on cloud 9 knowing he can help while also getting to stuff his face between your legs

Also likes dislocating his jaw to cram the full length of his tongue down you throat to toy with the little metal ball on your tongue too :pp

His demon is totally enamored with everything about you, so you can bet he’ll always leave plenty of possessive bite marks all over you

He’s super scared to hurt you tho, so it’s safe words galore tbh

He pays a lot of attention to your boundaries & needs; you’re so frail & vulnerable compared to him, how could he ever forgive himself if he hurt you?

His heats are especially bad when it comes to being rough—he has to resist absolutely ruining you every time

It honestly takes a long ass time for him to let you stay to help through it because he’s so scared of losing control

If he ends up going too hard & you need to use a safeword, he’ll treat you like porcelain during the aftercare

And even throughout the next couple of days that follow, he’ll be extra careful around you because he’ll feel like shit for taking things too far ngl

I’m talking about waiting hand & foot on you—not that he wouldn’t already do so regardless

And he might be a tad reluctant to do the nasty afterwards, but a lil convincing & reassurance on your part and he won’t be able to resist

Except he’ll take things real slow and careful

Like,, excruciatingly slow skdjdhsl

But honestly, it doesn’t make the orgasms any less intense

Instead of hitting you hard & fast like electricity rocketing through you, it’ll be like one long wave crashing into you as he keeps rocking his hips at a perfectly steady pace

He just wants to make you feel good & show you how much he loves and cares for you, ya know?

Those back rubs I mentioned have some high ass chances of turning into something more

They might end up with you beneath him, one of his large hands pining your hips down, the other entwining his fingers into yours so he can feel every little squeeze when he drags his cock along you most sensitive spots

And if you read him some steamy poetry, he just might end up between your legs one way or another, chuckling and coaxing you to keep going as he hits every spot so wonderfully

This mans is practically a sex god even if he might not realize it ngl 👁👅👁

Only thing is, like I’ve mentioned, him and animals don’t always get along

So he can’t stand being watched by your pets while he’s trying to get some :/

You, ah, might wanna close the door behind you or he’ll have to stop halfway through 😬

But he’ll be more than happy to keep going once he knows the two of you are completely alone again~ 😏👌

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

It’s been awhile since I truly ranted about my clueless boomer father. it’s absolutely not because he’s been less awful. in fact he’s been so overly awful that I’ve not had the energy to really type out an entire vent post. 

Let’s rectify that! (Disclaimer: this shit is LONG)

So those of you who aren’t new round these parts are well versed in how clueless and selfish my “I’m not like other boomers” (def is) father. You might also know how introverted I am.

Now that word gets tossed around a lot by people who just enjoy their own company or enjoy socializing but need time to recharge, and that’s all well and good. But my personal introversion is much more... serious. Like, I can socialize but it’s draining pretty quickly, save a few people who don’t suck the life out of me because they arent work to hang out with and dont require me to entertain them. I need more recharge time than socializing time by a significant margin. Last summer my father went on vacation for a week (Bailey stayed with grandma) and during that week I didn’t verbally speak to a single fucking soul except when The Spawn (who didn’t live here at the time) came by for something. Best week of my fucking life. 

The less I’m able to recharge, the more unpleasant I become. This is important. 

So we all know that my father likes to claim a lot of things are that clearly bullshit. Among those things is the claim that he doesn’t need friends or socialization because he’s “like me” and the claim that he respects my space and need for down time. these things aren’t true. at all. Let’s look at why I saw that...

This man insists on telling me every small annoyance that happens through his day. Every single fucking day I have to hear (and read texts) repeatedly about how ignorant his coworkers are, the amount of unmasked people at stores/gas stations, & just generally self absorbed people he encounters. EVERY DAY. He clearly needs someone to socialize with. 

He will also just walk into my living room and plop down. Then he starts fucking talking or bitching at the dogs for jumping around on him. If I am watching something, he starts asking questions/commenting on whatever I’m watching. If I’m wearing headphones (which are massive and cover my ENTIRE EAR very obviously) he will stare at me and start talking until I pull my headphones off and say “What?! What is so fucking urgent?!” 

I’ve been getting progressively more short with him. I don’t answer texts that aren’t actually about something. When he interrupts me for something I KNOW will be frivolous bullshit, I exaggeratedly huff, then either rip off my headphones or pointedly pause what I’m watching and say “WHAT?! What do you need?!” If he’s bitching about the dogs playing on the couch while he tries to sit on it (which they do to me CONSTANTLY btw and I just make it work) I snap at him to just move to the fucking chair or shut up. If he goes to bitch about a coworker or people he encounters while out, I just say, “You already told me about this.” in and incredibly short tone, to which he responds “Well I wanted to make sure.” in a huffy tone. 

His most recent two days have really taken the fucking cake. 

So The Spawn frequently goes up to see her godfather, D, in Colorado over school breaks. He usually puts her on a plane or comes to get her, but with her having a car, she’s decided to take a friend with her and have her first Big Girl road Trip. She will be gone a little overr a week and she, the friend, D, and I all meticulously planned it out. My father comes in day before yesterday and says, “Hey do you want me to take vacation time while The Spawn is gone so I can be here?” I look deeply confused, “Why the fuck would you do that?” his response: “Well, I didn’t know if you’d need someone here to help with the dogs during the day while she’s gone.” 

Y’all I nearly died laughing. “Her not being here changes literally NOTHING about how the dogs are handled during the day. When she is here, she is in her room. It’s really funny that you think I have help during the day considering how often I’ve bitched about the fact that I take care of the dogs that aren’t mine far too much.” 

Then yesterday, I had spent the day employing my general tactics to discourage him from harassing me with useless bullshit. At some point, I cut him off from talking AGAIN about “ignorant, maskless, redneck gatherings at the gas station” by saying, “YES YOU TOLD ME AT LEAST 3 FUCKING TIMES. I GET IT. PEOPLE DON’T WEAR MASKS AND IT PISSES YOU OFF. IT’S BEEN A FUCKING YEAR. DEAL WITH IT. Why in the fuck do you insist on telling me this crap?” This fucking idiot laughed and said “I need to vent to someone.” I then told him to get a fucking friend or get a fucking therapist but I am not here for him to fucking vent to. 

At the end of last night I finally lost it. I blew up on him about how I have zero privacy, nobody fucking respects my space or my need to recharge my social batteries, so I’m just constantly running on empty which means I’m getting progressively more unpleasant and frankly downright mean. Near the end I said “I’m sorry but...” and intended to tell him EXACTLY what he is doing that is causing this shit but true to fucking form, this motherfucker INTERRUPTS ME and says  “Oh I never take any of this personally. no apology needed. goodnight.” and goes up to bed. 

YOU SHOULD TAKE IT PERSONALLY YOU STUPID PIECE OF SELF ABSORBED SHIT!!!! YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM!!! MY NEARLY 17 YEAR OLD CHILD HAS MORE AWARENESS OF MY NEED TO RECHARGE AND NOT BE AROUND PEOPLE CONSTANTLY THAN YOU DO DESPITE ME TELLING YOU ABOUT MY NEEDS IN VERY PLAIN LANGUAGE THAT A FUCKING 5 YEAR OLD COULD UNDERSTAND!!! 

LEAVE.   ME.   THE.   FUCK.   ALONE.  unless the subject of what you want to talk about impacts me directly in some way or i INVITE YOU into a conversation. I don’t vent to him unless it impacts him or the household... so why the fuck can’t he show the same courtesy? Also that whole “respect your space and not invade it” thing... on the rare occasion that he doesn’t just invite himself in and plop down in my space expecting my fucking attention, he will HOVER in the ‘doorway’ to my rooms until I acknowledge his presence, at which point he takes as an invitation. I’ve done an experiment. If I ignore the hovering, he will stand there up to 30 mins, at which point he will ask me a question and when I answer he takes it as an invitation. Like, I know my living room and BEDROOM don’t have doors but that doesn’t mean you have an open invite to just come into them whenever. You want to pet your dog but she’s on my bed? Call her. She’ll come over to you. Want to watch something with me? ASK and then, if I say yes, don’t fucking talk to me. I agreed to watch something, not have a fucking conversation. 

oh but directly telling him any of this doesn’t work because he “doesn’t take any of this personally.” Ok, it’s one thing to not take it personally when I snap at you because I’m in an astronomical amount of pain that day and accidentally snapped. When that happens, I apologize and explain. but if I don’t mention my pain, apologize, or explain then YOU ARE THE REASON IM SNAPPING YOU STUPID FUCK. 

end rant. if you read this whole thing, my condolences on the wasted time. I don’t want/need advice. I’m handling the situation the best I can in my current position. Part of that handling is that while The Spawn is gone, I’m going to do a few days where I’m here for the dogs, then when dad gets off work, J scoops me for the night, then drops me back off in the morning on his way in. He is one of those lovely people that isn’t a drain and if we are sitting in the same room, considers it spending time together. Most times, I lay on his furniture at an awkward looking but comfy angle reading a book while he games. We chat a bit during breaks or when I see him ready to throw the controller at the TV (looking at you Witcher 3...) so that will be lovely. 

as always, don’t steal my shit for your blog, article, youtube, just because you’re boring and fucking lazy. Shoo! Scat! 

[divine-motion]

my rewrite of tmnt 2012 is turning more into “my fan iteration within the story of 2012 which i change a bit to suit my self-indulgence” (which it pretty much was from the start but hey) so i’m just gonna write down some General Stuff abt it like arcs and stuff

Tang Shen is alive but did get sliced by Shredder like when she dies in canon, so she has scars and Shredder believes her to be dead. Tang Shen also believes that Yoshi went and disappeared on her when he went to buy those turtles so, you know, rough couple of years for her w/ regards to thinking her infant daughter is dead, moving away from japan w/ her husband, and then her husband mutates into a rat and doesn’t tell her abt it. now she works as a robotics engineer at Stockman labs and while she’s still depressed she’s getting better, she likes her work, and she’s working on a certain nanobot project which is going good

(Nano is in this version but they instead are in an arcade cabinet that the turtles then bring to the Lair so that Nano has a family and they get to play with the turtles often. Happy end for Nano!)

Raph is the one who first meets Shen and Shen starts signing the adoption papers for the turtles

Splinter is pretty much the same as in 2012 but like, he gets confronted abt his shit instead of just being Flawless Wise Mentor, mainly by Michelangelo and then Shen when she meets him again. think he’s still gonna die but only once instead of. what. three times?

the turtles have known April for about three years since they went to the surface in secret and met a curious human girl. April quickly decided she has four brothers now and they agreed whole-heartedly

April’s parents are both alive btw and very good parents, though since “the Kraang want to kidnap April” isn’t a thing here they are both unaware of her mutant friends

April isn’t trained as a kunoichi and instead relies on her telepathic powers, which would grow at the same rate as the turtles become better fighters. i have a whole list of her powers and their limits - for example, tinfoil hats do work to keep your head protected from telepathy, much to everyone’s surprise. a metal pot also works, or a metal helmet. Shredder is unknowingly immune to it with his helmet always being on...

the brain worms serve a slightly bigger role, but they are instead creatures from Dimension X, a weak, telepathic parasite that crawls into people’s brains and controls them to keep the worm safe while it feeds on the person. they are what Kraang Prime mutated himself with to create the Kraang hivemind. they are also called “mind maggots” in Dimension X, “brain worms” is just what Stockman and Donnie started calling them when first discovered. removing a brain worm from a person without using telepathic powers can result in the person’s death or severe brain damage

also the Kraang are a more literal hivemind. if one of them sees you, they all see you. the turtles have to use all their ninja stealth to deal with them, and it’s always a risk because the Kraang can easily overwhelm them with how many of them there are

Kraang Prime is probably gonna be offed at the end of the “season 1 finale”, probably by Leatherhead. he deserves it. offing Prime also frees the Kraang hivemind from his control and the Utrom have their autonomy back. either that, or they manage to release the hivemind from his control another way, and it leaves Prime like weak and useless somehow. maybe by plucking off those weird crystals on his head, i dunno, still thinking abt it

oh Leatherhead! Leatherhead is a doctor for mutants, being a bit of a mix between his 2003 and 2012 self. he wants to help other mutants since he knows they’re victims of the Kraang too, however indirectly, and that they can’t exactly get medical help. mutants do have greater regenerative properties, but that’s only going to help you so far, and your bones might grow back wrong quicker. so, Leatherhead spent his years of freedom studying medicine and mutant biology, using stuff he stole from the Kraang during his first escape.

it would be a lot more focused on helping mutants in general. like, there would still be mutant villains that would be fought when needed, but Mikey and Donnie would put their feet down and try to offer the mutants help in settling into their new life. the turtles would also not be disgusted with mutants like they are in 2012 like jeez, dumbdotcomm really put it into words

anyways the Kraang would cease being a threat after “season 1″ and the truce Karai suggests between Foot and Hamato does happen. Splinter hates it and doesn’t trust it at all

Baxter Stockman has his own lab which is pretty successful, and he is an incredibly smart and eccentric guy with a bubbly personality - until you threaten him or talk down to him, at which point he shows himself to be calculating and ruthless, still with a smile on his face. he doesn’t pick up on sarcasm very well, though, and if you ask him to explain something, he will happily do so in great detail, whether you’re friend or foe. also, he doesn’t get mutated into a fly, and he doesn’t get turned into just a brain, either. he’s just a funky regular human guy

Timothy becomes The Badger in this version. he’s also treated better by the turtles, especially Mikey who takes it upon himself to train Timothy, partially bc Mikey wants to be a superhero but knows he can’t show his face. in fact, Timothy was inspired by Mikey specifically as he saw Mikey trying to be a costumed superhero at one point. when Timothy mutates, he becomes a human mutant like Hun and Ravenwood from IDW, so he can become like an actual superhero with powers

more female characters. like just in general more girls please. i beg of you.

Angel is Casey’s older sister who’s off at college as a STEM student, and she is also Nobody here bc i absolutely love that for her, IDW was galaxy brained when they did that. Alopex is her partner here too same as in IDW, and they jokingly call themselves “Batteries, the Double-A Crime Fighting Duo”. Angel is very much against Casey being a vigilante despite being one herself, but she’s an adult so it’s different, obviously

the turtles ask Alopex to be their teacher, too, especially since Raph notices that she fights using anger in a controlled way, and she is a bit surprised and slightly awkward about it but she accepts. Alopex is an arctic fox instead of a red fox here btw, though she has a summer coat most of the time and only gets white fur during winter.

April would also have an arc where she strives to understand her mutant side and powers better, so she would venture into Dimension X alone to find the Utrom, and learns about their society before and after Kraang. Rook and Queen (named Quin here bc Bishop isn’t a Utrom in this version, and Utrom don’t have a concept of queens and kings) would have bigger roles, as they would help April out with her powers and figuring out what being part Utrom/Kraang means for her identity.

Rook is also an alchemist/scientist who created mutagen in the first place, and Kraang was her assistant. this isn’t super important to April’s arc but i just thought it’d throw it out there

the brain worms/mind maggots would result in a City Fall arc i’ve decided. but it would be the only time mind control/brainwashing becomes a plot point in this series bc i think 2012 really overused that trope. like it was there with Splinter and the Rat King, with the parasite wasp mutant episode, and then again with the brain worms but like, several times over.

this also means that Karai doesn’t get the brain worms pumped into her brain. remember that scene where she’s hooked up to the machine and Shredder’s like “damn that shit sucks i’m sorry Hamato Yoshi’s doing this to you”?? that scene was pretty fucked up. anyways Karai has like. agency in her own arc this time

in the City Fall arc Splinter would die and at the end Karai kills Shredder, and Leo and Karai as new leaders of the clans would be like “alright this stupid fucking ancestral cycle of vengeance” ends here

Northampton time after that because it would be a Lot

after that i think it would be space arc time? it would start with the turtles being separated across dimensions and planets a bit like when SAINW happened, but without SAINW. like, Donnie would get to Neutrino (elves with crazy hair version), Leo would get to Usagi’s dimension, etc. etc.

also in case it wasn’t obvious Tang Shen will play a big role as the turtles’ Better parent and she’d have her own stuff to work through, like meeting her daughter she thought was dead and finding out her boss, Stockman, is evil, that her husband got turned into a rat, and that her new kids get into all kinds of dangerous trouble constantly

anyways that’s um. already quite the wall of text so i’ll shut up now ‘til i have more art to post, digital art this time so you can like. actually see what things look like.