#and boy when it’s time and they fully kiss both not drunk they def going to pound town or close to it

[marbles290]

I’m sure that by the end of the day Pisaeng got there house and what they naming there first kids picked out already 😂😂

[inaworldlikethis52]

I don’t want to assume and over think bc what would that actually do. But I think it went like this for him as to why he fully ended things.

He most likely thought about us and how things been.

We met on the app a year ago, went on a few dates and they went very well & we had a connection. But he realized he was leaving for Denver and knew things weren’t going anywhere between us. But since it was his last days in town, he should make a move and kiss me. Not bc he’s a fuck boy or anything, but bc he was attracted to me and wanted to kiss me. So he did and things got more physical. When you’re in that moment, come on we’re humans. We messed around once more and then he would be leaving in a day or so. There was no good bye, maybe because he didn’t want to say good bye? Maybe he got scared. Maybe he just didn’t care at that point bc he was leaving.

When he left he probably didn’t realize how much I really started to like him. Until he got a bunch of my texts and wanting to FaceTime. But he had to keep him self busy, a new life in Denver.

eventually things would fade a bit and that’s okay, but he def saw I wanted to stay in contact. He must have still cared too but he was willing to talk to me.

Then his mom passing away and he was very rude to me. But maybe after a bit of thinking, he knew he was wrong to speak to me in that way and knew to reach out and apologize.

we reconnected again but then I got carried away and wanted to talk to him more and more and he saw it. He saw that I was pushy with it. This could be the first “red flags?” For him.

We didn’t talk for a bit again and then when he came back to town I wanted to see him.

We saw each other and man the connection and feelings. It was like he never left. We didn’t do anything that night but I went to see him after work bc I was so eager and excited he was back.

Maybe he thought about the possibility of us just picking up where he left off. And technically that weekend we got together and went out to eat. Maybe his feelings for me were coming back or as a man, he just wanted to hook up.

When we got back before we even went inside he kissed me. He was def drunk though. And then he was so drunk everything he was saying didnt make sense but same time did. He obviously had something going on to feel these things. He said he “don’t not want to fuck me” and then asked why do I see him or something and I said I like you and then he said he likes me too.

We ended up sleeping together. Our first time together after a year apart. I think it’s what we both wanted but it didn’t go amazing lol.

But then I left and idk how he felt but he texted the next day. We made plans to hang out that night but then something came up. Idk what was going through his head but he asked if I wanted go come over to his place later and man I could have. But he could have been drunk again. Or who knows. But I didn’t give in. We hung out the following day and slept together.

Idk what exactly happened after that bc we didn’t really talk or see each other for a month. Idk if at that point he was actually working or if he was seeing other girls. But the communication wasn’t there anymore. So what do I do? I text him more and more. I blow up his phone. ( red flag #2)

But this wasn’t the deal breaker. He knew I liked and cared about him. He said he needed some time to get back into things and catch up. This was me being so impatient bc I just wanted to be with him. I didn’t want to lose him again.

We texted and agreed we want to talk and see each other in person, so we made plans for that.

It finally happened but what I regret is not really asking what he was looking for again. We just talked about him and his texting and communication and how I communicate. And after that talk things got a bit better.

It was still hard to get together bc of him working so he says.

But then after a bit we finally got to see each other once a week and things felt ok.

Then I slept over and over stayed my welcome. ( red flag #3) maybe he realized like man this girl can’t stay still in bed and now is spending the whole day here. She doesn’t understand boundaries.

But we got passed that I think. We hung out a week later and talked. we both agreed we weren’t at the relationship point and agreed to take things slower and get to know each other better since he was gone for a year. But that same night we had unprotected sex. So not sure how that’s taking it slow.

The pregnancy scare and how I handled it. ( red flag #4)

And then the bumble thing. (Red flag #5)

Those would be my red flags for him to end things with me. I understand it from a guys pov. But it’s just been so up and down. Maybe other things going on in his head too. Maybe he didn’t want a relationship with me but liked the company. He was able to have sex once a week bc he knew I liked him and it would happen.

Or maybe just thinking of everything he just knew it wasn’t meant to be us.

I think the last two is what did it for us. He didn’t want to have another abortion. And I should have considered his feelings before I just said I would get one. But too much was going through my head at that moment. Yes I know it’s life and it happens but it was the first time it happened to me. I reacted badly. We’re humans and I was scared.

Then with bumble he def saw I was looking at his profile but if you really didn’t have anything to hide you would have just left it.

But now he unmatched me from there and not sure if it’s bc he’s done with me completely or just wants me to stop looking at his profile.

Man. What a roller coaster it’s been.

[ushiwakaout]

I just read your story about kenma as a husband and im OBSESSED. Can you do the same but with Kuroo please! I love them both and i cant chose so- :)))

I cant choose either don’t worry (i’m a kenma kinny so like... you know)

HUSBAND KUROO IS A BLESSING GOD

let’s just say you’re a highschool teacher

for the sake of the headcannon, you wear glasses to read

very outgoing

very flaunty husband

very flirty, acts as if you guys aren’t married and still trying to reel you into his hook

Wakes up very very early

Maybe like 5 am, works out, rare occasion will wake you up too if he’s feeling like a jerk

if he doesn’t wake you up, he’s back from his run and he’s bought you flowers, will willingly cut his run short so he doesn’t ruin the flowers

KUROO IS AN AMAZING COOK

does not look like it tho, first time he cooked for you- wow, crazy good

breakfast in bed when you have the day of (which are weekends)

Kuroo doesn’t have a day off but his mornings are always free, for you and you only.

He’s the type of husband who you catch making breakfast and he’s dancing, wearing a kiss your sempai apron

“oh no no, you go back to bed, i’m making you breakfast, shoo.”

will tap your ass so you leave the kitchen faster

his brain malfunctions just a lil in the kitchen when realized that you’re only wearing his button up and his button up only

blushing mess while cooking

HE GETS A LITTLE SHY FOR NO REASON WHEN HES BRINGING YOU BREKFAST

You’re fully awake and already looking through homework with you’re cute little glasses that make your eyes look a little bit bigger

he’s so in awe with you, he puts the little breakfast tray over you and kisses your nose

“Goodmorning sweets.”

Doesn’t call you kitten but calls you sweety, sweets, sugar, shortcake. HONEY, SUNSHINE.

He will not bother you if you’re doing paperwork

Believe it or not Kuroo very much likes peace and quiet

because you know, his bed head is bc hed cover his ear w his hair to try and muffle out his parents arguing sorry

Will not argue with you

PHYSICALLY WILL NOT AS MUCH AS HE WANTS TO

you could be yelling at him over something (most likely because kuroo is def burnt out a little and gets no sleep) and you’re just looking up at him and he can’t look away

Will say something like “You look so beautiful.”

My heart just broke a little- Kuroo can’t argue back with you because he knows you’re right most of the time

you’ll find him asleep on his desk at 2am bc you miss cuddling and the mother fucker still wakes up at 5

will show up to your classroom with a bouquet of [favorite flowers] and all the girls in the class start squealing

kisses you behind the flowers

will plant his forehead in yours and whisper “I love you.” before apologizing and dismissing himself

this rich cocky mother fucker will also surprise you on your birthday, which would end up on a weekday.

YOURE CLASSROOM IS FULL OF FLOWERS

EVERY DESK FOR THE BOYS/GIRLS/NONB and they get to keep them

TEACHERS ARE ENVIOUS, especially the women maybe the men are too, ya never know.

he’s a certified sub teacher bc you get sick easily and will cover for you while someone covers for him at work bc he’s like- light years ahead of his work (that’s why he’s so burnt out)

SICK KUROO IS PROBABLY THE SADDEST AND MOST ADORABLE THING

It gets pretty bad when he’s late for work one day and he’s like rushing to get ready and he gets a nose bleed

he’s freaking out and you’re like “baby lay down, you have a fever, please.”

“Fever? What the fuck is a fever, never heard of them, now let me go to work.”

“Honey, don’t make me any soup, your cooking isn’t as good as mine.”

“No get away from me, i don’t want you getting sick.”

“I wanna kiss you so bad right now, give me you’re hand.”

“I love you so much, you know that right?”

Once he’s out of his fever will take you out to dinner as a thank you

Buys you a new outfit for your outing and it’s like “Kuroo come on- i don’t need this.”

“Well i need you to have it, if you complain- then you don’t love me.”

“fine....”

very jealous man, if someone eyes you

very very handsy

hand has to be on your ass, lower back, hip, holding your hand. he gotta be touching you somehow

ESPECIALLY IN WORK OUTINGS

whole new outfit again

would probably fuck you in the venue bathroom but we don’t talk about that

if he gets drunk he’s actually the opposite

he’s not horny or handsy

he gets all cute and shy and a little awkward

Will forget your his spouse and be like “No! You see this ring, that’s right! I’m married and to the most sexiest bitch you know- That’s right i called my spouse a bitch, what about it. She’s a bad bitch.”

this mother fucked have you a ruby ring, you can’t tell me otherwise.

something simple but very pretty

he’d probably think you stole your own ring

“Hey! That’s my spouses give me that”

“Kuroo I. AM. YOUR. SPOUSE. LOOK AT ME!”

squints bc this motherfucker actually needs glasses “BABY!! There was some crazy person, who looked just like you! Same exact ring and everything.”

“Baby that was me, you called me a bad bitch.”

“Yeah? Am i wrong? or?”

Big cuddler

Will kiss you everywhere

“Baby, kenma hasn’t called me today, does he hate me?”

“No kuroo.”

“Are you sure?”

“Baby i’m sure.”

You make kenma come the next day because you know Kuroo needs his bestie

they get drunk

Kenma gets cuddly too

they will sleep on the floor together

You make kuroo cary kenma to bed bc he things it’s you and he sleeps w him

wakes up to yell at you and very hung over

“Sometimes i think you wish i married kenma.”

“You’re not wrong.”

OVERALL kuroo as a husband is... *chef kiss*

[nanyoky]

@essayofthoughts asked for:

"Perc'ahlia babe and also Vaxleth and Pikelan"

Mwahahaha...

Perc'ahlia:

Who’s the messiest one: I mean it depends. Cuz Percy has a place for every little thing. But when he's mid project it tends to turn into organized chaos. Vex may occasionally leave things lying around if she's tired or distracted.

Who feels the most uncomfortable about PDA: definitely Percy, but it's less uncomfortable and more "easily flustered." Like it's just something he's accepted. Vex gunna smooch. Percy gunna blush.

Who’s the funniest drunk: Percy. Cuz he has the same attitude, but he's struggling to take off his socks for bed like "what a- a- idiotic invenshuhh..... Fucking.... Stuplid..... Imma make em better... Make... Sock....better...." While Vex is equally drunk but still doing her four step skincare routine like "yes dear"

Who texts the most: probably Vex. Anything between conversational back and forth, long rambling but deep trains of thought and "LOOK AT THIS DOG I MET"

Who has the most embarrassing taste in music: hmm probably Percy but only in like a "parody of himself" kinda way. Nothing but a mix of chamber orchestra and emo music. Which aren't all that bad on their own, but he is a hashtag Byronic Posh Boi and so of COURSE that's all he listens to. Vex has cool(tm) tastes in music. Even if a song or artist wasn't cool (tm) before, it becomes cool(tm) once she likes it.

Who reads the most: I mean Percy. Not that Vex doesn't read, but he big nerd.

Who’s better with kids: ooo boy that's A QUESTION for some canonical parents, huh? I'm going to say Percy, just because I feel like Vex is a parent who can get overwhelmed sometimes and not know how to handle needy kids when she's running on empty (feel like I should say this does not make a person a bad parent- just that as a kid it's hard to understand that adults get tired). Meanwhile Percy has a natural tone that suggests what he's saying is fact, so if he's too tired for high energy toddlers he's just like "sitting by the fire drinking tea is a very fun game" and the bbs just climb into his lap like "you're right being quiet and snuggly is very fun" while Vex watches like "HOW."

Who’s the one that fixes things around the house: Percy's a good good tinker boi

Who’s got the weirdest hobby: listen one of them invented firearms and the other has a pet bear it's a toss up.

Who cooks and who cleans up: Both are what you might call... Functional cooks. Nothing to write home about, but they get the job done. But Percy excels more at baking (structured, exacting) and Vex is better at more loosely defined things like soups and sauces. Cleaning up is a duo activity and a nice part of their evening wind down.

Vaxleth:

Who’s the messiest one: deffo Keyleth. Houston we have a hoarder. She gets emotionally attached to everything, and saves up little bits and bobs of things for crafting and home diy projects all the time.

Who feels the most uncomfortable about PDA: probably Keyleth, but it's in like- the most Social Anxiety way possible. It's not so much that she's uncomfortable, it's that she gets worried that being snuggly or kissing will make others uncomfortable.

Who’s the funniest drunk: oh that's a hard one. Cuz we've seen them both be high quality drunks, (ie day drinking queen and "heterosexuality is fake and magic is just the fucking best????????"). I'd say Vax because I feel like he's more likely to insist he's not that drunk and doesn't need anyone to look after him, and therefore will get into more shananigans/flirt more

Who texts the most: another toughie. Probably Vax, in a similar style to Vex.

Who has the most embarrassing taste in music: they both have the same issue as Percy, in that their tastes are just a parody of themselves. Vax has three categories of favorite music: sad emo boy, sexy alt boy, and rebellious 90s girl. And then Keyleth is just unironically into the softest cheesiest music you've ever heard on the soundtrack to a chick flick. We're talking Jewel here, folks. Also retro oldies cuz Homeschooled Vibes. I'm going to say Vax tho, cuz he's the one who gets emotional about it, while Keyleth is just a casual listener. And he listens to more of her music than she does his. She'll send him the Live at the Troubadour recording of Kelly Clarkson's Sober and he responds back like "??? Why would you send me this??? At 10am on a Tuesday??? When I have things to do??? Now I'm crying on the bus?????" And she's just "glad you liked it! :D"

Who reads the most: probably Vax. He gets deep into reading in attempts to find less self destructive ways of getting out of his head.

Who’s better with kids: hm I'm gunna say Vax on this one because Keyleth has a tendency to try too hard with everyone and was also an only child who was forced into very structured time while growing up cuz expectations. Vax has more clear memories of actually just being a kid when the twins were with their mom, so he can relate easier. That being said they're both pretty good, as we see with that kid Simon, a scene that will HAUNT ME FOREVER.

Who’s the one that fixes things around the house: def keyleth. DIY queen. Vax just gets frustrated and is like "let's just buy a new one"

Who’s got the weirdest hobby: hmmm. Keyleth has A LOT of hobbies, but Vax def will do parkour, just cuz. Like he may have started back when he was still kind of a criminal, but now he doesn't have a practical excuse and he doesn't even like- record it or anything so there's no point to it. He just sees urban environments and goes "gotta jump. Gotta climb. Just gotta."

Who cooks and who cleans up: Keyleth has got prep on lock. Gardening. Hunting and trapping. Gathering. Cleaning and dressing and chopping. She's got this. It's adding fire to things where she starts having trouble. Vax picks things up from there just fine though, and covers dishes and such on the back end.

Pikelan:

Who’s the messiest one: Pike. Pike. Pike. Having a perma-home at last means she gets comfy, which means you can usually not see the bedroom floor. Scanlan is scandalized.

Who’s the one that fixes things around the house: Scanlan tries. He likes the idea of being helpful with domestic stuff and not just a goofus who's just around for the fun parts of being together. Unfortunately he's never really lived anywhere long enough to get good at household repair, and it takes him way too long to do anything. Pike is pretty handy, but gets so busy that she'll just put up with something being broken for weeks. Best case scenario is Pike shows Scanlan how to do something so the next time he can do it himself and feel accomplished and she can come home to things being fixed and give him smooches and coo over him being a handyman.

Who's the funniest drunk? Pike. "I'M TRYING TO STEALTH."

Who feels the most uncomfortable about PDA: it may shock people, but Scanlan has the same "once it's serious I get bashful" disease as Vax. Pike will absolutely give his bootie a tap in line at the grocery store and he just goes bright red. He tries to laugh it off like he's still the smarmy mess everyone knows, but she teases him endlessly about it.

Who texts the most: Scanlan is an absolute "good morning," "thinking of you," "how was your day," and "goodnight" text person before they live together. After they move in together it's just text versions of his cover songs about his love for her and dank memes.

Who has the most embarrassing taste in music: we know it's Scanlan. We've heard his cover tracks. Pike has similar cool(tm) tastes as Vex.

Who reads the most: Pike is probably someone who's always on the move, so she's more an audiobook person. But Scanlan is like fully ready for the dad life. Just loving any weekend where he does nothing but sit around in flannel pj pants reading a mystery paperback.

Who’s better with kids: It's a hard one. Scanlan second guesses himself quite a bit and worries every little thing he says or does is going to become Lasting Trauma. Pike acts more chill about it, but slowly gets more and more overwhelmed until she nearly has a nervous collapse. But their opposite styles work well together and they're able to be a pretty great team.

Who’s got the weirdest hobby: I feel like Pike is someone with a weird collection. It is either something a little spooky but cool and academic, like antique medical equipment, or something horrifyingly tacky, like a thong from every city she visits. Maybe both.

Who cooks and who cleans up: this is where Scanlan is a much quicker learner about domestic stuff. Pike is a good cook, but it's usually on the move so much she doesn't have the time for meal planning and prep. Scanlan absolutely throws himself into being a house husband and gets obsessed with cooking shows. Pike insists on helping with dishes tho.

[voidcat]

— Seijoh 4 & dom!reader

a/n: this is legit my first time writing nsfw so yea b kind pls. I was getting tired of sub!reader stuff and I’m not the most sexual person but yea have a lil dom!reader w the boys,,, as a treat,, I’d also like you all to know that Nicole enabled this... thanks for supporting the sad horn knee hours wife<3

mostly gender neutral reader but i just realized i used nicknames “miss/mistress” few times so yea

Hanamaki Takahiro:

Oh boy is he excited!.. the moment this slips out of your mouth, he is fuming, vibrating from where he’s sitting and can’t wait to get home.

He is always open to try new things. Back in the day you two tried a thing or two but you were unsure how he’d act so you downplayed often... but now that knowing you’re a dom, the things you can do with the trust you share, shit, did it get hot in here?

On random days, he’ll just go “hey babe what do you think of this?” And show you a page of strap ons, for you to choose. some days he’ll practically beg to be pegged. he loves your demanour when you’re in charge, the air within you when you’re the one in control is, comforting but each night a new adventure and he just can’t get enough of it, of you.

Probably the two of you start with a basic list of things to try and see what he is into. When it comes to spanking, you warn beforehand again and say you’ll do it only once. Holding back yourself and smacking him as lightly as you can, you watch his face for any changes. The moment your hand makes contact with his skin, he lets out a “yelp!” and you stop right there, growing worried. Instead of a face in pain, teeth clenched and brows furrowed; he has the most satisfied and flushed face, eyes half closed and glossy and mouth slightly open. “Do it again babe, but harder this time? Please?”

He probably gets on your nerves on purpose & loves it when you call him a brat or your good boy. Some days he’ll just call you to hang out at his place and when you arrive, you find him spread on the bed, touching himself, his eyes on your figure, staring right into your eyes “hope I haven’t disobeyed or crossed any lines Miss” (he’ll be pissing you off on purpose during your movie nights and let you teach him a lesson right on the couch, the counter or the table...)

Def calls you praises and names (especially titles, telling you over and over how much he loves and enjoys you, how he loves to be drowned in your presence, begging you for anything, even the tiniest bit of a kiss. 

He likes to shower together after a long night and wash each other’s hair, gently massaging your scalp and placing kisses all over your shoulders and the top of your head; whereas you gently kiss the places you’ve bitten and bruised, smothering his face with kisses.

Oikawa Tooru

This boy here, loves to act tough and all but let’s face it, he is a switch. It’s a typical Never Have I Ever game and at one point bedroom talk enters the game. He takes notes of the things you drink to, curious and you swear you catch a spark of excitement when you make it plainly obvious you’re a dom. Although that spark leaves as fast as it has appeared and you brush it off as a play of light.

That night when you return home, he practically jumps at you, a little rougher than usual and you’re sure why. Letting him pin you to the wall, hands roaming your body greedily, you let him live out the fantasy. The kisses now rough, one minute his lips on yours, the next on your neck, shoulders, collarbones... desperate to sink his teeth in and leave some marks. You think to yourself, that’s enough.

Next thing Oikawa knows, he is the one pinned to the wall, his wrists pinned above his head. With your unoccupied hand, you graze your finger lightly on his figure, jaw, neck and chest. “Someone is feisty.” he won’t tell at first but definitely got a thing for being marked and marking, and honestly? you don’t need him to tell you that.

orgasm denial!!! lots of it!! first two times you take pity on him and let him but the third time? the smug bastard is so sure you will let him come again but surprise!, as soon as you come, you leave him high and dry. he tries solving the issue by himself (which only makes things worse) after like 5 days of no orgasm on his part, he finally gets the clue, is on his... better behaviour; once you allow him to come, the days long of wait is worth the pleasure but he learns not to test you like this again. (however, this won’t stop him from disobeying you few more times just to get you to be rougher)

public teasing!! pda is already a given but you guys use remote controlled toys some days (usually you have the remote and he is the one who does his best to keep quiet) the driving and being near the edge of his climax is painful but he manages to hold himself until you two return home (or find a safe place to take care of it) and the endless wait and your cruel play with the toy’s settings is worth the wait. oikawa shivers every single time.

besides these, he likes to dress up and put on make up. and he is quite picky when it comes to lingerie the two of you wear, he checks the fabric qualities and colors beforehand, after all you only deserve the best of the best. he’ll be picking palettes to compliment your features best, loves using highlighter and always picks a dark shade of lipstick for each other; just to see how many times you’ll have to reapply until you’re both covered in its colors.

Iwaizumi Hajime

Ok so I know he has the brute facade going and everyone thinks he’s a dom but hear me out: actually quite soft switch/sub-leaning iwachan

Its a night out w the gang and during a drinking game oikawa makes a snark at you being such a dom in the streets AND in bed. to this blood rushes to Iwa’s cheeks and not many pay attention to it, bc he gets blushy easily plus he has been drinking too. but his mind? Oh he’s for sure imagining scenarios on what you could do to him.

Orgasm denial isn’t much of a thing because he’s very obedient. he’ll do his best to please you and follow your each and every word, watch your lips to hear your next words. for him, your word is law at this point... it’s almost impossible to deny him or those puppy eyes and those sweaty arms anything. He will call you ma’am, mistress, your highness, my goddess... whatever you wish and do not wish for. He loves praising you and ramble about how perfect and holy, etheral and magnificent you are.

lowkey into being tyed up, handcuffed and/or bondage. absolutely loves seeing you in full control. some days you won’t even bother to get undressed while he’s squirming under your touch fully stripped, begging for the tiniest bit of release. sometimes you’ll do the smallest gesture of taking control and he’ll be drooling, not even joking, this man LOVES IT when u take the ropes into ur hands (both metaphorically and literally) loves to lose control and wait for you to do whatever your heart desires, he wants to be what you desire.

(lowkey got a “corruption kink” too) when you two decide to shake things up a bit one day, you bring up some games, activities and kinks (mostly stuff he has only heard of) and, and he’s hard on the spot. lowkey into you wearing leather and gagging him up, his hands tied. he doesn’t mind blindfolds but watching you is so breathtaking, he even does his best to blink as little as possible. he loves it when you ride him to the point of orgasming for the 6th time that day, he’s ready to do anything for you, be your good boy and please you til world’s end.

very very good at oral too, his arms arent the only muscles he’s good at using, he loves your taste, your fingers in his mouth, his fingers in your mouth and in you. feeling your warmth however you want is enough to be content.

not something you do often but having sex in front of the mirror, seeing you in different angles drives him crazy, watching you covered in sweat, shining, panting, telling him how good you are is enough to make him drunk. but still he prefers to be chest to chest, you in his lap, riding him as he holds you to his chest, feeling your skin against his, burning with each move, rubbing against each other.

Matsukawa Issei

of all his relationships and hookups, Issei always encountered subs. few times his partners were doms, they were still submessive to him so when he finds out realizes you’re a dom, needless to say, he’s intrigued...

it kinda starts off with sex in front of a mirror one night, your back pressed against his chest, you’re riding him as his face buried in yourneck and his hands howering over you and suddenly, you grab his hands and out them at his sides, hold his chin and make him look at the mirror: “now watch hoe good i’ll be fucking you and your brains out until you won’t get a coherent sentence out.” you whisper in a low voice and do you deliver as you’ve said? but he got tricks up his sleeve too...

Most of the time, it’s rough and the fire play as well as powerplay takes most of the time. There’s always a battle for dominance, which leaves you both covered in marks and bruises. To say neither of you like it, would be unfair, especially when he disobeys you or flirts with other people beforehand, stepping on your nerves on purpose. (the quiet moans he lets out as you bite his neck, his collarbones, his earlobe, chest and thighs is an indicator if you ever need one.)

And thighs! Lots of thigh biting, massages, rubbing with fingers, or just squeezing the others head inbetween thighs is a given during oral and any foreplay that involved pecks and love bites in that area.

And as it is rough, you two always take your time, having a gentleness to jt in your own way. Be it a soft kiss out of nowhere, a certain way of bucking your hips or thrusting his hips into you. And as things are rough, it’s also when you get to let it all out, be yourself, unstrained.

Some days you’ll drop by his current job, or he’ll stop by at your place, and if he sees you in a headspace that’s too distracted, bothered or irritated by something, or just down; he’ll pick you up, wrapping your legs around him, pressing to you and nibbling on your neck and literally fuck your frustrations out. Those times he lets you take the ropes into your hands but if you’re not up for even that, he’ll take the charge on the spot, and leave clear marks to keep your mind off things for days. And in return, you’ll leave claw marks on his back, tug at his hair and press him to yourself until all you can feel is him; some days you’ll flip the both of you out of nowhere and press his head against your chest, hold his hands behind his back and guide him with your body, his muffled breathes tingling your chest, the nape of your neck and your lips; until your skins red, lips bleeding and gentle purples decorating all over you.

(and he’s a sucker for it. some days he’ll go in town to get something for you to use on him and drop at your place without a card or a name. If asked, he always denies, claiming he’d not get you things to make it easier to control him but the sight of you holding a whip and he can feel the blood rushing already, tugging at his belt and your tshirt. He hopes it’ll be just like that one time you pressed against his dick with high heels, making him beg to come.)

tags: @myelocin​ @atsumu-brainrot​

[tirednotflirting]

i was just an only child of the universe (and then i found you)

@clumsyclifford you enabled my writing this and it is also your birthday so it is yours (unless you think it is Bad which is def a possibility bc i have read it all the way through like 1.5 times and in that case u saw nothing). i hope you have beautiful day. you put so much light out into the world, you deserve nothing but that and so much more in return. thank you for your kindness and community and endless fun. much luv x

and as always here’s the link to ao3 bc it is the Better way to consume writing let’s all be real here

When Ashton wakes up, it’s still dark. And he’s alone.

He lets his eyes flutter open, reaching out to his right for his phone to check the time. It’s just before 4am, he’s only been fully asleep for around two hours. He pushes himself up to sit, the fleecy blanket Luke had tossed across the sheets when the temperature dropped a few weeks earlier pooling around his waist. He lifts his neck some and pushes his hair from his eyes to peer over toward the bathroom to see if he can see the light on, worried the drinks Luke had had several hours earlier were making a reappearance. But the door to the bathroom is open and the light is off, so his lover isn’t sick. 

Or at least not in the bathroom, he thinks to himself when he hears a quiet noise in what he suspects is the kitchen. 

Ashton turns, letting his bare feet drop from the mattress to the floor. He squints against the darkness in search of something to pull on to cover his upper half before going to investigate. He sees what looks to be a shirt and half-blindly reaches for it, realizing it's one of Luke’s flannels once he gets it closer to his face, the identity of the garment being revealed by the softness only achieved from years of wear and wash and the faint smell of Luke’s cologne on the fabric.

He stands and pulls his arms through the sleeves, not bothering with buttons, his entire being just too tired for that. Ashton shuffles out from the bedroom and down the hall, the lack of carpet making him wish he had tugged on his slippers (a recent gift that had come in a care package from Calum’s mom) before wandering out to find his boy.

Luke is sitting in one of the barstools at the kitchen island, the only light on being the dull yellow one just above the sink. He faces away from Ashton, his shoulders covered by one of the quilts he must have pulled from the couch and hunched over some. His hair had grown long during the semester and he’s got it pulled back into a little bun he must have put up after getting out of bed (Ashton never letting him wear it up that way to bed so that way he could play with the blonde curls without a hair tie getting in the way). He sniffles quietly and Ashton can hear him stir a spoon around a bowl that must be blocked from the black haired boy’s view, the metal clinking against the sides of the ceramic.

Gently, so as to not scare Luke, Ashton places his hands atop his shoulders, sliding his hands down to clasp together against the blonde’s chest. He settles his head to rest against the side of his. “Why are you up?”

Luke sets his spoon back in the bowl and tugs Ashton’s hands apart so he can lace his left with Ashton’s right. He smiles as Luke turns to place a kiss against his temple. “I was having this dream that we were eating cereal. And then I woke up when I dropped the bowl on the floor in the dream. And then I was hungry for cereal. So now I’m here.” 

Ashton chuckles to himself as he rubs his thumb over Luke’s where their hands are clasped together. He liked that Luke’s brain worked in the kind of way that got him up for cereal when he was still a little drunk after a night out at the bars. They had been out with Michael and Calum, celebrating the end to another semester. Ashton, the group’s forever faithful DD, had spent the night sitting at the bar, sipping on soda and lime, watching the three others dance on and with each other. He had smiled and nodded at the bar as Luke told him a story of some funny ringtone that had gone off during his literature final and about the therapy dog he had gotten to pet when they brought them by the library.

(He had also avoided the suggestive look from his favorite bartender when Luke draped his arms around Ashton’s waist toward the end of the night, his lips brushing over his neck as he begged to go back home in between kissing the blushed skin. An Uber was called the moment Luke’s hands started trying to creep their way up under Ashton’s t shirt.)

They had gotten home only a couple hours earlier, Ashton sitting Luke at the counter to drink a few glasses of water and take a couple preemptive ibuprofen while he waited for the confirmation text that Michael and Calum had made it back to their apartment a few streets over.

(cal: we are out of the uber.

cal: we are at the front door.

cal: michael dropped his keys and then someone walking a dog walked by so he is petting the dog.

cal: it’s pretty fluffy. his name is einstein.

cal: okay we’re in our unit now. door is locked. we are drinking water.

cal: [attached] seeeeee? 

cal: luv u)

Getting him to the bathroom to brush his teeth and change out of his jeans hadn’t been all that difficult. Luke had two phases of sleepy drunk: giggly and hangry. Thankfully Ashton had made sure all of them had a full meal before hitting the bars so he knew he was likely to deal with the giggly version of his boyfriend rather than the latter. Luke had followed Ashton by hand to bed without complaint, slurring his words around a story about another dog he had met recently before his words slowly came to a stop as he fell asleep against Ashton’s chest.

Luke uses his free hand to take another bite of the colorful cereal, frowning when a drop of milk hits the counter. He swipes it away with his thumb and then smiles again. It’s quiet between them for a moment while he leans his head against Ashton’s as he continues to stand behind him, chewing slowly, as if stuck on a thought. Ashton finds himself smiling adoringly at him as he glances at his face out of the corner of his tired eyes. It’s obvious the blonde is still at least a little drunk.

“What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?”

Luke’s expression shifts for a moment then, to something lighter and happier, in response to the compliment. It fades just slightly and then he’s dropping his spoon in his mostly empty bowl and turning in the barstool so he can face Ashton. He drops his hands around his waist and maneuvers the standing boy to move between his legs. “You ever think about how tiny we are?”

Ashton slides his hands up where they’re rested against Luke’s bare chest, fixing the blanket to stay wrapped around his shoulders before letting his arms hang loosely around his neck, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the curls at the back of his neck that have escaped the little bun.

“I hate to break it to you, Lu, but you’re a little bit of a giant compared to most people of average size.”

Luke opens his mouth to reply but then closes it again and pouts his bottom lip out. Ashton can feel him play with the hem of the flannel at the bottom of his back before sliding his hands underneath and resting against the skin there. “No, I mean, like. Do you ever think about how big oceans and planets and suns and stars are and how we’re just these tiny little things? Just little specks on what is a speck in the middle of other specks?”

The question itself, though alcohol induced, is pretty damn existential. And Ashton probably would have wanted to take a bit longer to formulate an answer but Luke is looking at him with those anxious blue eyes and his hands at Ashton’s back pull him in closer, as if he’s worried that that big wide universe will suck the hazel eyed boy away. He’s trying to think of a way to respond when Luke keeps going.

“Because I mean it's just so wild to me. How we can be so little and tiny and really not much of anything at all when compared to everything else in the universe. Yet for some reason the universe decided to give us just a little bit of attention to guide us to one another. I can’t stop thinking about what we did to deserve something so special.”

And despite knowing that everything coming out of Luke’s mouth in the poetic way that it is is liquor induced babbling, Ashton’s heart is bursting at his words. Luke is speaking from a place of adoration, of love, not existentialism (or at least not too much). He’s not even sure what to say really so he just slides his hands up to cup Luke’s cheeks, the blonde closing his eyes while smiling wide, his blushing cheeks pressed against Ashton’s palms. 

He shakes his head as he runs his thumbs below Luke’s ocean blue eyes. “Guess some higher power had a free afternoon and decided it might be funny to kick both of us in the direction of the library that day. To make you spill your coffee in the elevator to the fourth floor.” 

Luke lets out a giggle and drops his head to the side, Ashton’s left hand holding it up. “When our kids ask how we met, we’re gonna have to come up with something better than that. You’ll have to make up some story about wooing me, you’re much better at telling stories.”

Ashton lifts his brows and lets out a gentle laugh. “Our kids?”

Luke responds with a look as if Ashton’s just said something ridiculous. “Yes, our kids. Should at least have two. That way they’ve got like a built in friend. Ideally, a boy and a girl.”

Ashton can’t help himself as he leans forward to press his lips to Luke’s for a brief moment. Even dead tired and drunk, Luke sees him in his future, long term future too, not just next summer or something. He can taste the sweetness from the cereal and Luke’s toothpaste as he pulls away, dropping his hands from his cheeks so he can rinse the cereal bowl, the heaviness of the early hour really starting to weigh on him again.

“Have you picked out names yet?” Ashton asks Luke as he watches Ashton turn on the water and wash the leftover milk down the drain. Ashton looks up to see the blonde’s gentle smile as he pulls the blanket closer around his chest. 

Luke answers immediately, causing Ashton to blush since that means Luke has certainly thought about the question before. “I like Matilda - like from the movie? - for a girl. And I think your middle name would be nice for a boy. Both sound nice with Irwin, too.”

“So they’ll have my last name then?” Ashton asks with a smirk, his eyes still soft with the love for his boy.

“Yeah, I always thought so. I mean, I want to have it one day too so the kids probably should as well.”

Ashton rounds the counter again, moving back to stand between Luke’s legs. He pulls the hair tie from his curls and cards his hands through them. “You’ve thought a lot about our future, huh?”

“Have you not?” Worry briefly crosses Luke’s eyes.

Ashton shakes his head. “No, of course I have,” he starts, one of his hands reaching down to hold Luke’s. He always liked how their hands looked like they were meant to hold the other’s. “I had just always thought on the end of making sure we could find jobs in the same place, that we find a city both of us like, introducing the parents to each other next spring like we planned. Thought about how I might propose but hadn’t gotten into the logistics of names and such. You really want to take mine?”

Luke’s lip pouts out some as he nods. “Yeah, I do. Is that okay?”

“It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

He watches then as a blush slowly creeps up to Luke’s cheeks, though they’re still pink from the liquor he’d had earlier. Ashton coaxes him to standing, their hands still clasped, and he uses his free one to pull the blanket from Luke’s shoulders to drop on the couch as they pass by. For a moment, he squeezes their palms together before letting go to shuffle to the opposite side of the bed, pulling off the flannel before sliding back beneath the covers. 

Luke immediately slides his body to press against Ashton’s side, his face dropping to nuzzle it’s way into Ashton’s neck, letting his lips just barely brush against the black haired boy’s shoulder. Their legs slot together beneath the sheets. Ashton had always been thankful for the immediate calm that would wash over his body when pressed as close as he could be to Luke. He liked not having to worry about him letting go. (In what way he means that, he’s not really sure.) He’s just seconds away from sleep when he hears Luke whisper, his lips dancing delicately against Ashton’s skin as he speaks.

“Love you, Ash. Glad I got to find you.”

“I love you, Luke,” Ashton sighs back as the calm settles again.

And as he lets their fingers tangle together again against his bare chest, Ashton finds himself wondering if the action will feel different when they’ve got the wedding bands he’s hidden beneath a stack of t shirts in his chest of drawers resting on their fourth fingers.

*

[floralege]

ship meme thing for allllllla our ships xoxo orumad

omg  the  whole  SQUAD  let’s  fuckin  DO  THIS  !!!   @orumad

who is the most affectionate ?

cilla  and  daisy  are  EXTREMELY  affectionate,  they  just  love  holding  hands,  kissing,  just  being  close.  mick  loves  having  his  arm  around  del’s  waist,  and  he  gets  progressively  more  affectionate  as  the  drinks  go  around.  pru  is  affectionate  with  bee  in  a  very  Horny  Girl  way  24  /  7  so  her  affection  actually  becomes  very  sweet  when  she’s  drunk  /  high.  we’re  not  at  all  surprised  that  caia  and  lauren  are  the  queens  of  affection,  but  mostly  to  each  other.

big spoon  /  little spoon ?

considering  that  she’s  a  vampire,  elliot  needs  SOMETHING  to  feel  like  a  Big  Man  (  ugh,  boys  )  so  he’s  def  got  big  spoon  energy.  liam’s  big  spoon,  but  he’s  always  poking  fern’s  back.  romy  is  big  spoon  for  molly,  but  that’s  probably  an  ego  thing  because  she  def  bottoms.  WHY  am  i  soft  about  duffy  platonically  cuddling  vee  their  whole  lives  until  one  day  it  doesn’t  feel  Very  Friendly  ?  big  soft.

favorite non - sexual activity ?

hunting  sport  (  re:  stupid  humans  )  for  gid  and  rome,  but  at  some  point,  that  turns  a  lil  sexual.  before  he  got  swept  up  into  work,  grady  loved  watching  tracy / hepburn  films  with  cecile.  liam  and  fern  genuinely  loving  jamming  and  shit  talking  together,  cilla  and  henry  love  spontaneous  date  nights,  emmy  and  dom  drink  and  plot  together  that’s  almost  foreplay.  emile  and  marilyn  taunt  each  other  mercilessly,  but  they  really  do  enjoy  getting  to know  one  another  without  that  pressure.  camille  and  emile  are  the  masters of  non  sexual  intimacy,  so  they’ll  just  stare  at  the  sky  or  make  more  awful  bets  with  one  another.

who is most likely to carry the other ?

Big  Ivor  carries  Little  Cecile  and  yes,  we  love  it  !  dusty  probably  carries  vee  and  lucas  around  constantly.  in  a  sad  way,  molly’s  probably  carried  romy  out  of  many  bars  :(  johnny  drags  cam’s  tiny  ass  out  of  clubs,  sadie  and  del  are  both  going  Through  It  so  they  carry  each  other  out  of  many  los  angeles  night  clubs  where  they’ve  started  shit  and  don’t  want  to  deal  with  it.

what is their favorite feature of their partner’s ?

gideon  fully  believes  that  rome  is  the  most  beautiful  creation  of  all  time,  though  he’d  fuck  himself  with  a  chainsaw  before  ever  acknowledging  it  aloud.  hannah  is  genuinely  attracted  to  freddie’s  inherent  goodness  and  idk,  probably  feels  some  connection  with  that  sort  of  brokenness,  too.   pru  loves  bee’s  nose  and  will  do  the  bradley  cooper  nose  touch  thing  from  a  star  is  born  when  she’s  drunk,  probs  to  bee’s  annoyance.  jack  literally  believes  is  kimber  is  SO  fucking  cute  and  wonderful,  it  aches  her.  mick  is  obvs  taken  with  the  eyes  AND  the  boobs.  call   it  fucked,  but  emmy  loves  when  dom  goes  ice  cold  on  someone  ---  just  not  HER.

what’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other ?

johnny  and  cameron  likely  bickered  more  often  and  tbh,  i  feel  like  one  mick  realized  he  had  legit  feelings  for  delphine,  he  acted  super  weird  and  the  whole  family  noticed.  fern  was  probably  very  gentle  about  it  but  liam  went  full  tf  is  up  with  you,  kid  ?  cameron  and  freddie  always  inherently  had  feelings  for  one  another,  so  it  was  just  there  from  the  get  go.  

nicknames  ?  and  if  so,  how  did  they  originate  ?

most  of  the  nicknames  are  just  ones  everyone  sort  of  had  growing  up  ?  pru,  bee,  vee,  mickey,  duffy,  del,  etc.  like,  i  don’t  know  if  any  nicknames  are  singular  to  any  particular  ship  tbh  they’re  free  for  everyone.

who worries the most ?

fern  worries  about  liam  more  than  she  lets  on  and  it’s  probably  her  inner  saboteur  that  has  her  cope  with  that  by  drinking  with  ethan.  gideon  worries  about  lauren  CONSTANTLY,  because  he’d  legit  die  if  anything  happened  to  her  or  caia.  he  doesn’t  worry  about  rome  necessarily,  but  he  gets  wind  of  her  endeavors  without  him  and  hopes  she’s  staying  safe.  jack  wonders  if  she’s  going  to  fall  into  old  habits  the  longer  she’s  around  pru,  del,  and  co.,  so  she’s  worried  about  disappointing  /  hurting  kimber  because  of  that.  arlo  knows  coco  has  her  shit  together,  but  he  can’t  help  but  worry  !!!  she  doesn’t  need  his  concern  and  he  knows  she  can  handle  herself  but  he  does  !!  want  to  help  !!

who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant ?

bee  probably  remembers  the  food  at  fancy  restaurants  that  don’t  make  pru gag,  so  she  always  reminds  her  what  to  get  ;  dom  can  be  upsettingly  charming  when  he  remembers  what  daisy’s  favorite  dessert  is,  and  she’s  never  convincing  when  she  pretends  to  be  annoyed  that  he’s  already  ordered  it.  on  the  flip  side,  emmy’s  known  dom’s  drink  order  since  they  were  sixteen.  grady  remembers  the  gist  of  cecile’s  favorite,  but  ivor’s  always  the  one  who  rushes  to  the  kitchen  to  let  the  chef  know  exactly  what  her  preference  is.  simon  has  em’s  thai  takeout  order  MEMORIZED.

who tops ?

shocked  to  learn  that  bee  wasn’t  kidding  about  the  occasional  topping  !  though  daphne  def  topped  her.  mick  physically  tops,  del  does  it  emotionally.  molly  tops  romy  which  is  amazing  for  their  height  difference,  and  olivia  and  esme  def  battle  it  out  every  time,  LOVE  that  for  them.

who initiates kisses ?

cilla  is  big  on  kissing  often,  so  henry  tends  to  arrive  at  parties  with  some  trace  of  her  lipstick  on  him  every  time.  with  everything  going  on  in  the  press,  dom  and  emmy  are  wise  to  play  up  their  affection,  but  behind  closed  doors,  he’s  definitely  the  one  to  initiate.  dusty  probably  drunk  kisses  lucas  every  time  and  it’s  just  never  mentioned  ever  again.  jack’s  horny  on  main,  so  she’s  always  all  over  kimber.  meg  initiates  kisses  often,  though  mostly  as  a  power play.

who reaches for the other’s hand first?

cameron,  always.  johnny,  freddie,  cecile,  etc  ---  doesn’t  matter,  she’s  holding  their  hand.  duffy  gets  VERY  excited  about  holding  vee’s  hand,  so  he  tries  it  often.  jimmy  probably  tried  to  hold  sadie’s  hand  once  and  she  elbowed  him,  but  caia  loves  all  form  of  affection,  so  she  got  very  flustered  when  he  first  grabbed  hers.  simon’s  learned  to  place  a  hand  at  the  small  of  em’s  back  when  they  attend  events  together.

who kisses the hardest ?

unless  she’s  drunk,  pru  has  no  idea  how  to  be  soft  so  she’s  always  kissing  with  a  bigger  plan  in  mind.  liam  probs  kisses  rough,  too.  simon’s  big  on  heady  kisses,  and  if  ivor  ever  gets  the  chance,  HELL  YEAH.

who wakes up first ?

cilla’s  only  an  early  riser  if  she  hasn’t  gone  to  bed,  so  henry’s  usually  the  one  trying  to  make  sure  she’s  up  before  noon.  dom’s  always  up  early,  and  while  daisy  was  the  type  to  mumble  sweetly  for  him  to  stay  longer,  emmy  usually  doesn’t  stir  unless  she  wakes  up  in   a  Mood  and  pulls  at  him  to  stay  behind.  bee’s  always  up  before  pru,  and  pru  thinks  that’s  a  complete  crime.

who wants to stay in bed just a little longer ?

gideon  obvs  doesn’t  sleep,  but  when  he  allows  himself  to  rest,  he  demands  WEEKS  of  going  undisturbed,  so  imagine  a  pale,  lonely  freak  vampire  sitting  in  the  woods  and  staring  at  the  sky  motionless  basically.  meg,  unlike  bee,  happily  sleeps  in  late  and  takes  her  sweet  fucking  time  to  do  it,  though  with  sid  she  always  skips  out  before  morning.  ivy  doesn’t  believe  in  anything  before  one  pm,  so  surprise  surprise  that  nora  started  suggesting  breakfast  dates  for  nik.

who says i love you first ?

since  they’re  all  stupid  soft,  gonna  go  out  on  a  limb  and  assume  it  was  mostly  mine  idiots  who  said  it  first.  except  for  obvious  ones  like  sadie,  who  ran  to  the  hills,  and  gideon,  who  believes  love  is  too  weak  to  encompass  it.

who tells their family/friends about their relationship first ?

listen  EVERY  CHARACTER  IN  EVERY  GENERATION  IS  TOO  CLOSE  so  nobody  needed  to  be  told.  someone  gets  together,  and  by  the  time  they  home,  the  information  has  fully  been  spread.  

what do their family/friends think of their relationship ?

each  ship  has  their  own pros  and  cons,  and  while  certain  people  have  LOUDER  opinions  (  fern  loves  bee,  doesn’t  understand  why  pru  let  her  go  ;  if  cameron  were  alive,  she’d  be  politely  and  quietly  apprehensive  about  camille’s  friendship  with  clem’s  son, the  same  with  daisy  and  henry  /  cilla,  etc.  )   but  it’s  usually  either  we  hate  this  (  meg  @  pru/bee,  sadie  @  mick/sadie  )  or  we  love  this   (  fern  @  pru/bee,  mick  @  jimmy/caia,  dusty  @  duffy/vee  )

who is more likely to start dancing with the other ?

lauren’s  always  the  one  who  gets  elliot  dancing,  grady  would’ve  sat  in  the  corner  at  his  own  wedding  if  not  for  cecile  while  simon  LOVES  to  dance  and  always  guides  em  and  asha  out  to  the  floor.  pearl  will  pull  ANYONE  out  to  dance  with  her.

who cooks more/who is better at cooking ?

cameron  is  a  horrible  cook  and  has  set  freddie  and  johnny’s  respective  kitchens  ablaze  many  times,  marilyn  has  specialty  dishes  but  she’s  too  lazy  to  cook  often.  ivor  knows  the  basic,  but  he  whips  them  up  for  cecile.  nora’s  excellent  at  cooking,  but  for  some  reason,  only  nik  and  coco  have  ever  tried  it.  

who comes up with cheesy pick up lines ?

simon  is  often  too  hetero  for  his  own  good.  clementine  is  guilty  of  this,  too,  but  she’s  cute  enough  to  get  away  with.

who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times ?

BIG  ROME  AND  GIDEON  ENERGY.  also  big  dom  and  emmy /  daisy  energy.  jack  and  kimber  are  definitely  guilty  of  this,  too.  jules  probably  whispered  something  indecent  to  bella  at  cecile’s  wake  (  big  ow  typing  that  !  )  and  it  made  bella  feel  so  normal  for  five  seconds  that  she  was  sort  of  always  endeared  after  that.

who needs more assurance ?

given  their  history,  hannah  and  freddie  need  a  lot  of  reassurance  from  each  other.  that  was  obviously  a  problem  for  mick  and  look  how  THAT  turned  out.  immediately  post  rehab  romy  needed  a  lot  of  validation  from  molly,  which  became  messy.

what would be their theme song ?

MOST  OF  THEM  HAVE  SOUNDTRACKS  AND  SONGS  BUT  THERE  ARE  A  LIL  TOO  MANY !!!!!!

who would sing to their child back to sleep ?

cameron  could  NOT  sing,  but  did  it  all  the  time  for  daisy  and  henry,  so  bless  freddie’s  patience.  fern  walked  in  on  liam  softy  singing  one  of  his  inappropriate  songs  to  pru  once  and  loved  it,  a  la  baby  emma  and  baby  got  back.  duffy  does  this  constantly  for  his  daughter,  and  vee’s  definitely  caught  him  a  few  times.  emmy  would  never  sing,  but  she  def  played  medieval  choir  music  over  bastien’s  baby  monitor  and  dom  was  full  ????  over  this.

what do they do when they’re away from each other ?

most  of  the  time  they  literally  do  not  shut  up  about  the  other  person,  for  better  or  worse.  or  it’s  messy  and  they  don’t  consider  them  enough.  it’s  VERY  one  or  another,  which never  turns  out  well.

one headcanon about this otp that breaks your heart.

AGAIN  too  many  to  choose  from  but  the  way  we  wrote  charlie  out  and  put  johnny  in  as  daisy’s  father  ?  astounding,  10  /  10  because  that  works  a  little  TOO  well  for  the  dynamics  that  played  out  with  gen  two  and  makes  cam’s  death  hit  a  little  HARDER.  also  we’ve  been saying  this  for  years  but  ivor  /  dom  interaction  pls.  the  scandal  of  it  all.  

one headcanon about this otp that mends it.     

soft  concept  is  the scooby  gang  (  there’s  no  freddie,  just  gay  daphne,  a  shaggy  and  scooby,  and  velma  )  having  elaborate  halloween  plans  every  year,  even  if  it’s  just  to  have  a  movie  marathon.  costumes  are  often  required,  and  dusty  LOVES  some  good  riddles,  so  she’ll  get  every  stoned  and  hide  clues  around  the  apartment  that  lead  to  the  snacks.

[kallypsowrites]

Braime moments 8x04

Alright, I’ve been waiting for what happened in this episode to happen since I was eighteen and watching season three for the first time. That’s six years my dudes. So I’m not going to let the tragic ending spoil it for me. We’re gonna talk about all the little Braime moments.

1. The drinking game

- Jaime was at Brienne’s side the whole damn time from the funeral to the party and onward. He’s practically glued to her. Even his solo scene with Tyrion involved him talking about Brienne

- The way he rests his hand over hers when she lays it over her cup, as if to encourage her to let loose and have fun. But also just...that hand touch. Mirrors that scene in season three when he keeps her from pulling a knife on Roose Bolton

- The smiles. FUCK the SMILES. They are just openly grinning at each other. No boundaries at all. They are happy to have survived. They are smiling and laughing and no longer guarded as they were for most of their relationship.

- Brienne has, in general, never been this happy or dorky. Every one of Brienne’s little looks and smiles when she’s drunk. Spectacular.

- Jaime clearly remembers like...everything Brienne has ever told him because he’s able to guess things so easily during the game. Also they’re still bantering “I told you that” “no you didn’t” “I DID”. So cute.

- When Tyrion makes the “you’re a virgin” statement and Brienne becomes guarded, Jaime tries to misdirect his brother because he knows that it’s going to be a rough subject for her. He’s got hella protective instincts.

- When Tormund comes up and starts talking and Jaime rolls his eyes. Bonus, Brienne continues to be very unenthused by Tormund.

- Tormund tries to follow Brienne when she is in a vulnerable place and Jaime puts himself physically in between them. Like...in a fight, Tormund could kick his ass, but he still goes ‘not today, my dude’. And that smile and shoulder pat. That’s the most passive aggressive ‘sit the fuck down’ I’ve ever seen.

- Tyrion pouring Tormund a drink with that sassy look like ‘nice try, but you aren’t gonna get in the way of MY new ship.

The SCENE

- Jaime followed Brienne right after she left, but he obviously doesn’t immediately knock, which leads me to believe the idiot was pacing the hall nervously, having no idea what the fuck he is doing.

- When Brienne opens the door, you see a moment of panic on both of their faces. Brienne “fuck he’s at my door” Tarth and Jaime “oh god, she actually opened the door” Lannister.

- Jaime’s absolutely disaster flirting. Trying to use the drinking game as an excuse. The fact that he’s clearly tipsy and nervous. Mumbling under his breath and stuff. He doesn’t even seem to know why he’s come there, but here he is.

- Brienne having no idea what to do with this situation, because man, she never thought they’d be at this point

- Jaime finding the room hot because he is genuinely nervous. Jerking off his jacket and throwing it to the side.

- Jaime kind of sarcastically complimenting her (reverting to their old dynamic) and Brienne not taking that crap with her ‘piss off’. And yet it’s so much less aggressive than their old dynamic because they do trust each other now.

- Jaime getting closer to her with ‘I hate the fucking north’ and Brienne standing her ground.

- Jaime’s “I don’t want things growing on me” even though we see, clearly, that Brienne is growing on Jaime.

- The fucking Jaime jealousy, oh my GOD. “Is Tormund Giantsbane growing on you” and Brienne giving him a look like ‘fucking seriously. Does it look like he’s growing on me?’

- “You sound quite jealous”--even as Brienne says it, you can see she is so confused by it because, holy shit, she’s never had anyone be jealous over HER before.

- Jaime realizing that yes, he does sound jealous and then immediately saying ‘god its hot in here’. He’s such a disaster. Completely incapable of seducing anyone. What a dork.

- Jaime struggling with his shirt and Brienne getting fed up and helping him. The surprised look Jaime gives her when she does. It’s so fucking vulnerable.

- He just instinctively starts undoing her shirt as well, but stops when she stops him. Excellent.

- “What are you doing?” “Taking off your shirt” --oh my god, you’re both such disasters at this. I love you.

- The fact that Brienne stops him and for a split second he wonders if she is going to reject him and he has a very worried look on his face. But then she starts undoing her own shirt and the look turns to ‘oh fuck, we’re doing this, aren’t we?’

- How she helps him out of his shirt and they just don’t say anything. I love how much they can communicate in silence.

- “I’ve never slept with a knight before”--Jaime, you’ve only ever been with your sister, but also, the fact that you call her a knight is just fucking adorable.

- “I’ve never slept with anyone before” --Brienne emphasizing that this is a very big deal for her. They’re both standing around slightly awkwardly because they really never thought they’d get to this point.

- The kiss itself. Oh boy, I gotta talk about the kiss. First of all, I LOVE that Jaime is the one who initiates it. I also love had goddamn hungry it is. Like this man has been holding himself back from this moment and suddenly, his resistance has snapped and he’s just going for it. There’s a desperation there that really speaks to what a long slow burn this has been between them. And the fact that Brienne just immediately starts kissing him back. And his hand on the side of her face. Ugh. It’s not perfect. It’s messy. But so is their relationship, I love this moment so much.

Afterwards

- Jaime looks conflicted after they have sex, but I mean, of course he does. He loves Brienne but this is the first time he’s ever loved anyone other than his sister. And this is the beginning of him doubting if he is worthy of her.

- The fact that Jaime was going to straight up stay in the north with Brienne. That was his plan. This wasn’t a ‘rebound and leave immediately’ thing. He really was intending to stay. He even said as much to Tyrion.

- Sansa defs knows that Jaime and Brienne are together lol

- His conversation with Tyrion and Tyrion is just so fucking happy for him. Like, Jaime is expecting some sort of snide comment but Tyrion is elated that he’s with someone who isn’t his sister. And he makes tall jokes.

- The fact that Jaime tells Tyrion to, essentially, fuck off when he tries to ask crude details, because he respects Brienne

- Ser Bronn approves of his ship being canon. Also say “it must be like looking in a mirror” which emphasizes that Jaime and Cersei might be twins, but Jaime and Brienne are soul twins with twin swords. Aaaaahhhh

The Scene of Heartbreak

- Alright, I want to pretend this didn’t happen, but I’m not yet losing hope based on my interpretation so here we go. UP UNTIL Jaime heard news about Cersei in the war (which was probably after a month in the north) he had no plans to go south and was content staying with Brienne. This is important to remember. He was never using her or trying to use her as a rebound.

- Jaime’s motivation for leaving is ambiguous, but it clearly tears him apart. Also, he and Brienne were staying in the SAME ROOM and SLEEPING TOGETHER for like a MONTH and who wants to write fanfic about that? Please and thank you.

- When Jaime is going, he tries not to even look at Brienne because he does not want to see the hurt on her face. He cares about hurting her.

- How Brienne grabs his face and forces him to look and how surprised and heartbroken he looks.

- He puts a hand on hers, clinging on for a moment, very tempted to stay.

- Brienne’s vulnerability. It shows how close they have grown and got Gwen’s acting just breaks my fucking heart. She deserves better than this.

- Jaime tells Brienne his sins. For one thing, I think he does this to make her not come after him so that she will stay safe. If Cersei finds out about Brienne, she will kill her. Better Brienne stay in the north. But also, he wants Brienne to realize that he is not worthy of her. That she can do better. That he’s not a good man and he doesn’t think he deserves happiness. He thinks his only chance at redemption is death.

- I think Jaime has one of two motivations. Either he sees that Cersei might very well win and he has to stop her, or he just knows that Brienne is better off without him and that he can’t escape his old life. Both are tragic but neither lessen his love for Brienne. I don’t think he has an ‘addiction to Cersei’. He’s just so used to feeling like trash ever since he became a King’s slayer. He doesn’t know how to leave that life.

Again, I fully think leaving Brienne sobbing was a dick move, but his motivation makes sense. We’ll have to wait to see what D&D do with his arc. Either it’s in character and he dies a hero or D&D are idiots and I ignore their writing decisions and pretend Jaime never left. Still, there were so many good moments this episode, and it would be a shame not to enjoy them because of this last scene.

[thatwritingho]

Pickle sex canons?

Yes yes yes yes yes I have a lot of thoughts about my red dread drummer husband

He’s the ultimate switch in bed

Like one night, he could be choking you with a belt and spanking your ass raw and saying the most degrading things

And the next night he’s wanting to take an 8 inch strap on up his ass missionary style so he can see your face and kiss you while it happens

Tends to dom more often than not, dude has so much pent up rage and sex is the perfect way to get it out

Really likes to humiliate you

Like damn

One time the two of you got heated in the living room late at night, and he made you walk back to the bedroom butt naked with his belt around your neck as a makeshift leash while he was fully clothed. Lots of Klokateers saw. It was awesome.

Handcuffs, whips, chains mounted to the ceiling, total submission from you, slapping your face and calling you a whore, leaving you tied up with a vibrator strapped to your clit for literal hours while he goes to record, spitting on you, KNIFE PLAY, he’s into it all

Omg please cut me daddy

Oh did I mention his daddy kink?

And he’ll lose his shit if you call him master

He got a phone call from Seth trying to weasel more money out of him? He’s gonna have you in a collar and leash, hands tied behind your back and nipple clamps on as he pounds his dick into you so hard and for so long you have to use the safe word

Feeling like he has control over something is super important for his mental health after dealing with his family.

But!!!!!!!

But he also loves to be babied!!!!

Poor baby is starved for affection from someone he actually cares about (fuck you Molly)

Sub Pickles is the absolute cutest thing in the world.

He whines, a lot

He also begs surprisingly easily

Give this boy all the praise, he blushes real easy when you compliment him in bed and it’s literally the best

Lots and lots of body worship, constant reassurance telling him how good he’s doing, how beautiful he looks, how much you love him

Tell him how much you love him during sex. Just do it. He might cry

Tell him how much you love his freckles. Count the ones on his face during aftercare and he will be yours forever

Every once in a while he’ll want you to be super rough with him, but those are few and far between and he’s really gotta be in the right mood for it. Soft femdom is more his thing

He’s up for trying anything in bed, just ask him first.

Always makes sure you’re satisfied (unless he drank too much and passes out during sex, which has happened, don’t worry he’ll make up for it in the morning)

Speaking of, be prepared for lots and lots of drunk and high sex

You don’t have to participate in the drug use, but he’d really like it if you did, it makes the sex that much more mind blowing when, y'know, both of your minds are blown

He loves loves loves being high for sex

Ecstasy, molly, psychedelics, anything that makes him feel good and tingly, he’s gonna want to fuck you for hours.

Not a requirement, obviously, but it’s a BIG bonus to him if you have piercings in sexy places; tongue, nipples, clit

Loves to strip you down to your panties while he’s still fully clothed and make you ride his thigh til you come

He will never, ever turn down a blow job from you, no matter the location or situation; funerals, hospitals, public restroom, behind a building, side stage hiding behind a curtain right before a show with literally thousands of people around

There may or may not have been pics leaked online of you swallowing his dick in an alley

He’s an exhibitionist so he high key loved the attention

Wanted to make and release a sex tape with you but Charles anticipated it and won’t let him

This doesn’t stop him from whipping out his phone and taking videos and pics of you during the act for his later personal use

Wants you to send him nudes all the time

Like you could legit just be sitting next to him chilling and he’ll text you wanting you to leave the room and take some nudes to send him right then

He’s too much I swear to god

King of dirty talk, both in and out of the bedroom.

You’ll be hanging out with the rest of the band and he’ll lean over and whisper some filth in your ear in that god damn accent of his about how he wants to strip you right then and there and let the whole band watch as he makes you come for him

And he’ll pull back and look at you with that damn sexy crooked grin and I just asdfghjj

For real tho, he’ll let any of his band mates watch him fuck you if they want

He’s def bisexual, so he’s had plenty of experience having a real dick up his ass and absolutely lives for it

Lots of threesomes and orgies, loves taking a dick while he’s in your pussy

Really likes to talk you up to the other person like you’re not even there when you’re having a threesome to embarrass you

“Eat her pussy, I swehr it tastes like heav'n.” “Doesn’t she have the most perfect fahcking tits you ev'r seen?”

But don’t worry, he makes sure that the majority of your sexy times together are just the two of you

Despite some of his wilder kinks, of which there are plenty, sweet baby really cherishes the one on one time and the closeness of regular, lovely dovey missionary where the two of you can stare in each others eyes and whisper how much you love each other and really take the time to get lost in the moment together

I could go on and on forever, but I’m gonna stop here for now. Let me know if you want more!

[cryingbilldenbrough]

here’s another request for if you ever feel up to or inspired to write it: def more of the kasplon/bichie dynamic from the other kasplon thing i requested. like just the four of them in college together interacting as couples you know? a cute dynamic, imo.

okay so the other kasplon thing is this, in case anyone missed it! also this got LONG so i’m putting the rest under a readmore

ALRIGHT the concept is that before eddie and mike starting dating, eddie knew richie

they met on the first day of freshman moving in day when richie knocked on the door of the room bill and eddie shared

he was leaning against the door jam, big glasses and a hawaiian shirt hanging off one shoulder, dumb smile on his face

“you guys wanna buy some adderall?” he asks with an air of nonchalance that eddie KNOWS is bullshit, cause the kid’s eyes look a little wild and a little scared

and man, eddie is nervous about all of this too. bill seems like a nice guy so far but he also just spent like ten minutes unpacking framed pictures of his little brother and like, eddie didn’t bring a single picture from home and he feels like he and bill have nothing in common already

because eddie ran to college to get away from something and bill seems like he might be caught in the past

(he finds out later than the little brother is Georgie and Georgie is dead and he thinks he understands bill a little better than he thought)

anyway, richie asks if they want adderall and a comeback is falling from eddie’s lips almost immediately

“i think i’d rather you take it, spaz,” and fuck man!!! that was really mean!!! he doesn’t even know this kid and he’s already insulting him in like a really ableist way and eddie is scrambling to apologize

but richie is fucking dying

he’s doubled over, wild hair covering his face, and when he straightens he’s wiping tears from his cheeks

“i like you, kid,” he says, ruffling eddie’s hair

and then he invites himself in

and that’s pretty much how freshman year goes– richie invites himself into bill and eddie’s room and sits on their beanbag chair and steals their food and plays video games with bill

sometime during second semester eddie is pretty sure they start dating

no one says anything official, but bill starts spending time out of their room and comes back with wild hair and one time even a hickey

eddie assumes it’s richie that bill’s fucking around with only because richie has gotten even more Smug than usual lately

they don’t tell him they’re dating until the school year has almost wrapped up

cause it’s time to start figuring out where they’re going to live next year

eddie’s fully willing to stay in the dorms again, because living with bill turned out to be a lot of fun!! and eddie feels like he really blossomed into a young adult this year but he’s not sure he’s like, ready to get an apartment or something

anyway, eddie goes to bill first and is like, wanna live together next year?

and bill smiles apologetically, truly sad about it, and tells eddie he already has a roommate for next year– a kid in his composition class

and eddie’s like fuck man??? i don’t have any other options??? because yeah he made friends this year but god will any of them put up with him like bill does? with the pills hogging the medicine cabinet and the hour long calls to his mom back home that leave eddie near tears every time

what’s he gonna do without bill?

bill notices his discomfort and gets real quiet and later that night richie shows up, hair wild as ever

eddie’s curled up in bed watching netflix on his laptop and he feels richie jump into bed with him, sitting on his feet

eddie takes out his headphones and richie is grinning like a loon at him

“you’re a dummy, eddie spaghetti” he says

“don’t call me–”

“wanna live with me next year?”

“…..really?”

“i mean, as long as you’re cool with me and billy Boning Down at least three times a week” and he leans over with a hand held out for bill to high five

eddie looks at his roommate and bill is smiling with pink cheeks and god DAMN IT this is how they’re coming out to eddie?????

eddie fucking hates his friends

but he accepts richie’s offer and doesn’t even really mind when richie ruffles his hair and burrows down into his comforter to watch netflix with him

so come next fall, eddie returns to college after an agonizing summer spent missing his friends and his freedom

he and richie have a room closer to downtown this year, a little bigger space and it connects to the room next door with a bathroom AND a kitchen so they can actually cook instead of eating microwaved mac and cheese

(richie still eats a fucking lot of microwave mac and cheese)

and it’s not so bad because bill is over like all the time and he and richie are a couple but they’re not like, oppressively cute all the time

although, eddie does feel a pang of jealousy whenever they do something particular couple-like, such as coming home from dates and bringing each other coffee to class and going skateboarding all saturday afternoon

eddie wants that, you know?

anyway, it’s october when eddie meets bill’s mystery roommate

mike hanlon is probably the most attractive man eddie kaspbrak has ever met????

he’s tall and broad and has the nicest fucking smile and his eyes are kind and soft and his ass is GREAT

eddie knows he plays on the school football team and eddie really wants 2 see him in football pants oH GOD

anyway, bill introduces eddie as richie’s best friend which a) OW EDDIE’S POOR HEART and b) it’s the first time eddie realizes that’s true? cause holy shit yeah richie IS eddie’s best friend???

anyway, mike is polite and kind of shy and shakes eddie’s hand in a firm but soft grasp

he compliments eddie’s shoes and then invites him to play mariokart with him and bill

mike is pretty bad and eddie is pretty good and mike cheers eddie on to beat bill, knocking his shoulder against eddie and egging him on no louder than a whisper in his ear and eddie is GONE

it takes them a while to get together, mostly because they’re both kind of convinced the other is waaaay out of their league

and richie keeps inviting eddie to go out to dinner with him and bill and when eddie shows up, mike is there too which is fine bc he fits into the group really well but like?? is this a double date??? who does eddie sit next to in the booth?? who does he share popcorn with at the movies? does he call shotgun when mike’s driving them? THIS IS NEW TERRITORY FOR EDDIE AND HE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO PROCEED

but eventually bill pulls eddie aside and says “d-dude, you g-gotta date mike. i had to l-listen to him t-t-talk about your fuh-fuckin’ eyes for like an hour last night. d-do it for me”

and eddie is like ME? HE LIKE ME??? 

so he gathers up all his courage (which is a fucking lot bc eddie kaspbrak is a BRAVE BOY) and goes to the football game with bill and richie one saturday

eddie doesn’t really care for football, knows like nothing about the rules, but he likes going to games

it’s cold and he bundles up in a hat and a hoodie under his winter coat and he drinks a fair amount of beer at the tailgate, beer that richie keeps shoving in his mitten-covered hands

they watch the game and eddie keeps his eyes out for number 43 and mike doesn’t play a whole lot but eddie spots him a few times!!! they cheer really loudly when he makes a run with the ball, moving the team forward like forty yards and richie’s voice is hoarse from yelling

they win and eddie shuffles out of the stadium with his friends

bill and richie want to go to a party across town and eddie hangs back

“i’m gonna wait for mike” he says and richie smirks

so eddie waits in the cold for a weird amount of time, watching drunk kids stumble out of the stadium and back into the real world

“eds?” he hears and he turns to see mike, sweaty and flushed and holding a duffle bag

he’s changed into a t-shirt and sweat pants and steam rises off his hot body into the cold air. his cleats are slung over his shoulder and eddie’s breath kind of catches in his throat over how beautiful mike looks when he’s flushed and happy in the winter air

“good game” eddie chokes out, slipping his phone in his pocket “you sure did… football… well…” and he flinches cause GOD WHO SAYS THAT

“thanks, man,” mike says and GOD ITS AWKWARD because there aren’t a LOT of people around, but there’s enough that eddie worries about the scene he might cause if he leans up to kiss mike right here

he’s drawn out of his panicking by mike dropping his duffle bag to his feet and taking a step forward

he wraps his hand around eddie’s neck and the other around eddie’s back and dips his head down and he’s kissing eddie, mouth soft and pressing into eddie’s with care and ease

(he smells like a fucking locker room and eddie isn’t even that grossed out by it)

eddie lets mike’s arm around his back support him and he relaxes into it, bending his knees and closing his eyes

kissing mike is everything he dreamed of and more, like coming home after a long day and curling up into bed

they hear a wolf whistle and break apart, blushing and giddy

it was one of mike’s teammates, a defense player with a kind smile 

“fuck off ben,” mike says and leans back down to kiss the side of eddie’s mouth one more time

football saturdays turn into eddie’s favorite day of the week, despite him continuing to know NOTHING about the game

because he goes to mike’s room early in the morning and crawls into a warm bed with him, ignoring bill’s soft groan from across the room bc its FIVE A.M. GUYS, and wakes mike up with like lil kisses n stuff

mike gets dressed and goes down to the stadium and bill and eddie get ready to go down and tailgate

they meet richie, who has a cooler full of cheap beer, and they set up camp outside the stadium

richie steals all of eddie’s hand warmers and bill gets convinced to do a keg stand by the trailer next to theirs and eddie tries and fails to win a game of bag toss

they go in the stadium and get as close to the front of the student section as they can and eddie scans the players on the sidelines to find mike

he spots number 43 and waves, sticking his hand up in the air and hoping mike spots his red mitten 

mike does and takes his helmet off so eddie can see his smile, waving back and making eddie feel like the only person in the stadium

mike scores a touchdown and they win and the students storm the field and eddie gets caught up in the rush, hand slipping out of richie’s

he’s disoriented and a moment away from just slipping out of the stadium and finding his friends later when a hand catches his arm

it’s mike, helmet tucked under his arm and his pads still on

he’s fucking soaked but he’s grinning so wide that eddie can’t help but smile back crazily

mike scoops him up into a victory kiss and eddie hears richie’s wheezy laughter and bill’s chuckle behind him

he lets go of mike so bill and richie can hug and pat him on the back

richie says something dumb about trying out for football next year if it means getting to make out on the field when you score

mike blushes and punches his shoulder and bill rolls his eyes 

and eddie is so happy to have his boys in his life

send me headcanons/requests/prompts!

[nonpienary]

Responding to: MAKE ME ADMIT STUFF

I'm a nerd and I'm doing it. For no good reason honestly: 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? That was my boyfriend, so yes. 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Nope but I decided to look at his facebook for the first time in years yesterday - it was uninteresting. 3. Have you taken someones virginity? Nothing to take. I've been someone's first time and someone's first time with a guy though. I've also been like three girls' first kiss, even though two of them were stage kisses. One of those still used a lot of tongue, though. 4. Is trust a big issue for you? Nope, I generally give people the benefit of the doubt. I was lucky to have a stable-ish childhood. 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Lots! But if you mean romantically, it's been a week since we've been together but we text daily and had a video call for hours last night - we're moving in together this week! There's lots to talk about, it's a big transition for both of us. 6. What are you excited for? See #5! I'm gonna move in with my boyfriend on Friday!!! He's wonderful and thoughtful and the apartment is great. 7. What happened tonight? I... got home from D&D and called my mom? 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? I think this question is disgusting and sexist, and that men are generally encouraged by society to be far more disgusting than women, especially when they get drunk (which they are also encouraged to do more than women, as seen in the wording of this question) 9. Is confidence cute? Loaded question - it can be attractive, but it can also be toxic and gross, especially in men who have been trained to believe in themselves at the cost of discounting others and/or reason/safety. I think earned confidence in something you were once unconfident in can be endearing, particularly to those who saw that change take place! Confidence for its own sake can be gross though 10. What is the last beverage you had? Water 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? First, "opposite sex" is such an outdated and awful term, implying two inherent genders at some cosmic diametric odds with each other, which is bullshit. As far as my current (increasingly tenuous) male identity meaning you're asking me about trusting women? Ummm, 'how many' is a weird question. Like trust how? I have like 10-15 female-identifying people I'm very close with, but a lot more family members and the like whom I trust very much. This is a dumb question and seems pretty cissexist and heteronormative, as well as supporting this culture of gendered enmity. 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Multiple. 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Sleep, it'll be the day after move-in 14. What are you going to spend money on next? Parking for work tomorrow. Thus question is for kids. 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? I'm moving in with him. 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Yes. 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Probably my boyfriend? Depends on the thing. If it's really anything I guess it's my sister. 18. The last time you felt broken? When hearing people insist all couples argued a lot. 19. Have you had sex today? Only with myself. 20. Are you starting to realize anything? ??? I'll get back to you? 21. Are you in a good mood? Somewhat. This is putting me in a weird place I guess. 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? What a curveball. Um, only to see them up close, but likely not. Video is fine by me. 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Yes. 24. What do you want right this second? Ice cream and my boyfriend. I'm getting o e on friday, and the other one is in my freezer. Please place them properly to avoid disaster. 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? My turn? I'm ok sharing but I like attention too. 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? This was written with teenage girls in mind. Yes. 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Probably not 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Something my mom said? 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? One of my dogs moved to florida with my parents 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Very vague, generally yes but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be safe from them. Abusers use this to lure victims back in. Nobody deserves anything FROM YOU. 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Fuck no - just many of the other ones 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? I should hope so 💜 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Yes! There are others? I just always hated carbonation. 34. Listening to? Rainbow by Kesha. You should too. 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Yeah, just started to at work lately and it feels so good 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? At home with a fever 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? No but ours was pretty fast. And attraction that leads to love is a thing. I did blow my boyfriend within an hour of meeting him in person, but we'd been talking fir a while by that point and in my defense, the internet in my room had gone out. 38. Who did you last call? My mom 39. Who was the last person you danced with? Myself at the train station the other morning. 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? To say goodbye, and that I would see him soon, and that I wouldn't let all the awful things the president wanted to do to him take him away from me, and that I loved him so fucking much. Also, because his train was about to leave but I needed to kiss him one more time. 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Too long ago. 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No but I blew my mom a kiss, does that count? She's far away 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? All day erry day. It's my natural state. 44. Do you tan in the nude? I burn in clothes 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Fuck no, did you read what I just said about it? 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Not really. 47. Who was the last person to call you? 💜Babe💜 48. Do you sing in the shower? Where don't I sing? 49. Do you dance in the car? On occasion 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? I rocked at it as a kid, but not in years. I loved the tigers'-eye beads they gave for archery at cub scout camp, so I became an Archery Expert to get a bunch. 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? High School 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? YES, GOT A PROBLEM??? 53. Is Christmas stressful? I give awful gifts 54. Ever eat a pierogi? How is this a question 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Trick question it's pizza, but I also love most. Blueberry is amazing though 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Archaeologist, artist, singer. 57. Do you believe in ghosts? Only my ghost boyfriend 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes 59. Take a vitamin daily? Am I fucking MOTHER TERESA? God, what do you even EXPECT from me, perFECTION? 60. Wear slippers? Rarely 61. Wear a bath robe? Never 62. What do you wear to bed? Bf is converting me to underwear and a t-shirt 63. First concert? PWR BTTM but they're abusers and broke my heart so let's forget that one and say Regina Spektor 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? No 65. Nike or Adidas? No 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Crunchy Cheetos but that's my addiction talking 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? What? I guess peanuts 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? No? 69. Ever take dance lessons? I got told I could not take a coed bellydancing class once because I was the first guy to show interest and the instructor would have had to have asked the students, which she just decided not to do. She also didn't tell this to my friend (who had asked the teacher if I could come and been told yes) until we were literally walking into class, me in shorts I had just bought for the class. She basically told me it was for the students' comfort which I understood even though I'm queer, but then was like you can sit in and watch maybe? But that seemed even weirder so I just went gome 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Assuming everyone gets married is bullshit 71. Can you curl your tongue? Lotsa ways 😉 72. Ever won a spelling bee? Nah but I've been in the musical 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes 74. What is your favorite book? Probably one of the Circle of Magic books but I dunno which one 75. Do you study better with or without music? I don't study well 76. Regularly burn incense? No 77. Ever been in love? Yup 78. Who would you like to see in concert? More queer people 79. What was the last concert you saw? Tank and the Bangas!!!! They were so good 💜 80. Hot tea or cold tea? All Tea (all shade) 81. Tea or coffee? Teaaaaaa 82. Favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip? Madeline? Raspberry marzipan? Thumbprint? Rainbow? Black and White but only the white side because I'm ✨racist against icing✨? Lots 83. Can you swim well? Sorta 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yeah I guess 85. Are you patient? Sorta? 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Me, in The Best Dress, singing my little heart out 87. Ever won a contest? Yes! Mostly math stuff 88. Ever have plastic surgery? No 89. Which are better black or green olives? Green 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Sex is great, marriage is problematic, def do the first one first. Also like, this is such an outfated question wtf 91. Best room for a fireplace? All of them 92. Do you want to get married? Yeah but blame Disney for that propaganda. I'm getting over it, my bf is very against the state getting involved in relationships. That said, we might have to get married for dumb legal reasons for his well-being? It's gross and not a fairytale at all

[whimsicalalkaloid]

Well, that was fun. XD

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Yeah sure, probably

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? lol no 3. Have you taken someones virginity? Can’t says I has...yet 4. Is trust a big issue for you? Extremely 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Yes and no? XD 6. What are you excited for? Festivals 7. What happened tonight? Absolutely nothing 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Hell no, it’s adorable 9. Is confidence cute? Confidence is so sexy it hurts 10. What is the last beverage you had? soda 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? I dunno, like, 5? 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Two pairs 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Fucking party 14. What are you going to spend money on next? Taco Bell, the real mvp 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? I wish 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? How the fuck should I know. Hopefully? 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Most of my closest friends 18. The last time you felt broken? A couple weeks back 19. Have you had sex today? nope 20. Are you starting to realize anything? Yes 21. Are you in a good mood? Yeah I’m good 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? LOL fuck you 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Nope. I’m hazel, he was a gray-blue 24. What do you want right this second? A significant other would be lovely 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I’d be too crushed to talk 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Unfortunately 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Fuck no 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? A friend on messenger 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? ...yeah... 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Depends 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Lol wut no 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? If they don’t they’re retarded 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? I need to get back on that grind 34. Listening to? Red Hot Chili Peppers 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? I do everything in pencil 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Florida? Idk 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes and no? It depends 38. Who did you last call? A friend in Nevada 39. Who was the last person you danced with? Mah best friend who went with me to Pride because she loves me T.T 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I was drunk 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Pride fest! Salvation Army gave them out free. <3 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? One’s dead and the other’s in ND so no lol 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? My brain makes it a point for me to do so 44. Do you tan in the nude? I don’t tan I’m fucking Irish and Czech 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Nope. Live and learn 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Actually yeah I did  47. Who was the last person to call you? My client yooo 48. Do you sing in the shower? Are cute things cute? 49. Do you dance in the car? I’m surprised I haven’t been pulled over for it 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? There’s one in my closet now. I’m an archer bro 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 2011 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Most of them, yes. 53. Is Christmas stressful? Christmas is awesome 54. Ever eat a pierogi? Fucking what? 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? cherry 100% 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Veterinarian, Librarian, firefighter, animator, spy 57. Do you believe in ghosts? Sort of 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? All the time 59. Take a vitamin daily? Yes! Thanks for reminding me 60. Wear slippers? I’m not THAT gay 61. Wear a bath robe? See answer 60 62. What do you wear to bed? Pajamas or nothing 63. First concert? This weekend at Pride! I’m hooked on festivals now! 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Fuck all of them, but Target’s the nicest 65. Nike or Adidas? Neither? 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? CHEETOS 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Sunflower seeds, but boiled peanuts 100% 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? How dae you, but defs shake it off 69. Ever take dance lessons? Does line dancing count? 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Ruling the world 71. Can you curl your tongue? Nope but I can tie a cherry stem in under 30 seconds 72. Ever won a spelling bee? Never been in one 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes 74. What is your favorite book? Don’t make me choose between my children 75. Do you study better with or without music? Both 76. Regularly burn incense? Yes! I just bought some 77. Ever been in love? ...Yeah. 78. Who would you like to see in concert? Anyone alternative rock!! :D 79. What was the last concert you saw? Pride fest!  80. Hot tea or cold tea? SWEET tea, bitch 81. Tea or coffee? both 82. Favorite type of cookie? Chocolate, the dominant cookie 83. Can you swim well? Eh 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Ugh, no..>< 85. Are you patient? LOL...yeah sure I can be I guess 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Both? both 87. Ever won a contest? Yes! 88. Ever have plastic surgery? Fuck no 89. Which are better black or green olives? Defs green  90. Opinions on sex before marriage? It’s better to wait but waiting sucks 91. Best room for a fireplace? The family/living room 92. Do you want to get married? Some day, definitely

[viralhottopics]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine

Well, its Wednesday night and Im a bottle of wine in. Its time to love myself like that Hailee girl told me to and turn on some . Because nothing is better for your self-confidence then to watch other people fail. Miserably.

Last year Sams mom got in touch with me and this year its Giannas brother. Who will be next to defend their loved ones on the recaps? Carolinas great aunt? Stay tuned!

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Shocker, they all start binge drinking. Cant wait to see how much weight they all gain by the end of the season.

Little Mike is talking to Casandra about all the things he likes to do. These hobbies include taking long walks on the beach, gelling his hair and taking a daily measurement of his penis. His growth spurt is coming, okay?!

Casandra literally looks like a bobblehead and is like OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

Little Mike: I LOVE LAMP

Mike wants to get to know Cas but also low-key hates her for having a family and being #blessed. He legit calls her a daddys girl to her face and shes not even phased. He starts talking about how his mom is broke and his dad is crazy and Im like, woah, did I change the channel accidentally to ? This shit is way too heavy for me rn.

If I could describe the house in three words that they all could understand it would be: Drunk. Horny. Stupid. In that order. Because they arent planning on getting a real job any time after this, they decide to throw an underwear party.

Ozzy is like Kathryn is very sexy, idk what it is about her that I like. He says as she grinds on him in her underwear. Hmmm, I wonder what it could be that makes you like her?

They start making out and he tells her that tomorrow is his birthday. So obviously she has to have sex with him because of THE IMPLICATION. (Name that reference and I will marry you.)

Tyler and Taylor are both like hey this underwear party is fucking gross and Im like FUCK YA TEAM NORMAL PEOPLE.

Tyler is like everyone is acting trashy and Im trying to better myself. Woah, ok. Profound. Tyler def got lost on the way to auditions and ended up on . Either that or hes a fucking narc.

Apparently nothing makes Tylers dick harder than belittling the people you live with and he starts making out with Taylor. Overall, v hot couple.

Then the camera pans out to literally everyone just hooking up. , brought to you by Trojan Condoms.

THE GAME

The game starts with everyone being blindfolded and the boys tied up, which is coincidentally also the first scene of .

The girls have to smell the guys and untie the one they want to take on a date. Because thats normal. The first three couples to finish go on a date.

The girls start sniffing and falling more than cokeheads at an EDM concert.

Kari has some big-ass eyes so every time she talks she looks fucking crazy. Actually, she kind of looks like me when Im high but Im pretending that Im not high so Im overly opening my eyes. Idk, just trying to create a visual.

Karis like “I STUDIED NEUROSCIENCE ONCE IN COLLEGE, PHEROMONES ARE REAL Yeah, no one said they werent#Science.

KARI: This one time, in my neuroscience class

Kari picks Joey the trashman, who I thought smells like shit but I guess not.

Hannah picks Tyler and is like wow, this blindfold makes it so hard to see. I totally respect blind people. Wow, Im sure blind people everywhere feel so fucking complimented. Like look mom, that girl on TV understands my daily struggle for 3 minutes!

They can still hear you being a dumbass, you know.

Alicia smells Andre because he, and I quote, smells like Fritios. This is like the cheapest advertisement Fritos has ever had. Also, Andre its time to get some new cologne.

Andre/Alicia, Joey/Kari and Hannah/Tyler all win and they are going to go windsurfing. Thrilling.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Gianna apologizes to Hayden for being a low-key bitch last week and hes already well settled into his home on friendzone island.

Michael walks by and Gianna is like hanging on Hayden. Michael is very over it and Gianna is like . Fuck, okay.

Kam and Eddie are flirting and being cute and idk I like them so they better not fuck this up for me.

MY MOM: I like the girl with the grey-ish, purple-ish hair ME: Literally their names are at the bottom of the screen.

Carolina is very upset that Joey the trashman is going on a date with KARI (her name will be in all caps now because her eyes just make me feel some type of way). Carolina starts crying and shes like if youre not my match what is my purpose?! In the distance you can hear me screaming ITS WEEK TWO YOU DUMB BITCH.

THE DATE

Andre is the only one who can windsurf and Hannahs like”oh Daddy.” In the words of our President-Elect, everyone else is a bunch of losers. Huge losers! Failing at wind surfing! All talk, no action!

KARI is being really nice to Joey and saying hes fun and shes excited to be there and hes like ACTUALLY Im into Carolina. Woah. Okay, I know KARI may kind of look like Crazy Eyes but she seems nice and shes actually being genuine. So in my drunken state rn I am very mad for her.

Joey has officially moved to my shit list. And I dont even mean that because hes a trashman. Where he quite literally has to pick up shit. Get it? Ill see myself out.

Andre and Alisha seem to be getting along but IDK, they kinda act like little children. They talk a big game about how they are really into each other but I just cant see it. And Im pretty much a fucking expert at this show.

And none for Tyler and Hannah, bye!

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Andre and Alicia to the booth because the house isnt fully brain-dead. Everyone Is like “THEY ARE SO STRONG! THEYRE IN LOVE AFTER A WEEK.”

See, you say strong, I say fucking crazy.

And guess what, Im right motherfuckersNO MATCH.

Alicia starts crying and saying she doesnt want to be here. Damn, okay then fly tf outta here, what?

Hannah is like “HEY I KNOW YOUR HEART JUST BROKE, BUT IM GONNA GO AFTER ANDRE.” Its all about the subtle game. Hannah, could you like, chill your hoe ass down for a sec?

Hannah and Andre are talking and hes like I knew we werent a match and Im everyone at home is like wait you just told Alicia man, thats fucked up.

Andre and Hannah start making out because #drama.

Alicia starts flipping the fuck out and is like YOURE A LIAR AND A FLIRTER AND A MINGLER!!!

Whats a mingler? Just someone who mingles? I feel like thats real nondescript. Im going to need a full definition plz. DM me.

Andres like “THESE GIRLS ARE CATCHING FEELINGS!” Uh, its not just girls. Joeys over here acting like a baby back bitch.

Hoes, am I right?

THE MATCHUP

The boys get to pick tonight and this ought to be a shit show because none of them strike me as scholars.

Oswaldo picks KARI. Random, dont care.

Ozzy picks Kathryn because he wants that birthday sex. Ozzys like she makes me feel like home. Uh, Ozzy thats because you are home. Youre a local, your house is like, down the street.

Jaylen picks Kam, fucking up the thing she had with Eddie.

Eddie picks Shannon, womp womp.

Derrick pity picks Alicia.

Hayden, who is sporting a pair of capris, picks Taylor. Obviously Taylor wants to be with Tyler so this is def a surprise. She actually says those exact words and Hayden has now purchased a summer home on friendzone island.

Tyler says something fucking stupid about how Hayden is doing him a favor? Idk his foot is so far up his mouth and Taylors like 3 seconds away from putting her foot in his ass. So much for team normal.

Andre picks Hannah. Alicia is like “IT IS WHAT IT IS” but also wants to murder Hannah.

Michael caves and picks Gianna. WTF.

Joey picks Carolina and they kiss because THEY ARE DUMB THATS WHY.

Mike picks Casandra because shes his uptown girl.

Tyler picks Tee and they both are like, “Welp. Fuck me right?”

Okay, so this is sketch. Not looking so hot for them rn.

Were waiting for beams and Im drinking, thinking no fucking way are they going to blackout. Its only week 2. But in the words of President-Elect: The polls were wrong! The experts were wrong! Sad!

And yes, THEY BLACKOUT.

They all lost half a million dollars. Im laughing but its a nervous laugh because now they all are going to be on suicide watch or something.

Everyone has to deal with the fact that the person they are with is not their match. No Mike/Cas, Ozzy/Kathryn, Gianna/Michael, Joey/Carolina or Hannah/Andre. WOW. Major blow. Im loving this.

A sad song starts playing and people start crying. Damn, this just got as depressing as Mikes family life.

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from ‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine