#and both use my number for discounts and other stuff

[cloudyydraws]

textpost doodle

+ more unfinished mario stuff under the cut

all of these are texts sent between me and my sisters bc i wanna see bros banter

i got too lazy to keep working on these but please take them !!!

[theflowerrooms]

i have a request (hopefully for some smut) 🙈 youve met Eddie because he was your exs dealer! You want to cop on your own but your shy and don’t know what your doing!

you lost your V card to your ex, and he was a selfish asshole to you, and Eddie could always tell

PLEASEEE and thank You 🥰

{to request} {Eddie’s masterlist} {main masterlist}

Treat you right

Eddie Munson x inexperienced!reader

Summary: you buy weed and smoke it with Eddie for the first time, he doesn’t know you but he knows your ex. He knows how bad he was and he knows how good he could be for you.

wordcount:

Warnings: drug use, smut, cursing, pet names, penetrative sex, oral (f receiving), praise, Eddie’s super sweet but also super cocky, dacryphilia, marking, slight dubcon? they’re both high

Thank you so much for requesting baby <3 I loved writing this sm

You exhaled shakily. Phone in one hand and a piece of paper with a number and Eddie’s last name written sloppily across it. You got lucky, your boyfriend- ex boyfriend Andrew left his dealer’s number on your bedside table. You’d met Eddie on multiple occasions, you really liked him. He was sweet, funny, respectful, incredibly charming. You reminded yourself that as you nervously dialled his number.

“Hello? Munson residence.” You heard his boyish voice from the other side of the line and already you were smiling to yourself.

“Hey Eddie, um, this is-” He cut you off. “I know who this is doll, I could never forget a voice as sweet as yours. What can I do for you?” He chimed and you giggled, blushing.

Andrew really sucked, he never spoke to you so sweet.

You chewed your lip as you tried to form a sentence in your head that wouldn't embarrass yourself. "Um- I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say. I'd really like to buy from you, please." You spoke, careful with your words so you wouldn't sound like a complete idiot.

"Awe- y'calling for Andrew?" He asked, as if it wasn't obvious enough that you didn't know what you were doing.

"No- no, um, we broke up a little while ago he uh..." You trailed off, you didn't wanna over share and annoy Eddie. "He left your number at my house and I figured, y'know, I wanna buy some weed- please." You tried and failed to hold in your nervous giggle, you couldn't hear him smiling on the other side of the line at how cute he found you.

"Alright doll, tell you what. Since it's your first time buying from me I'll give you a pretty big discount, just let me know when you're free... and you can meet me, hm?" He offered, voice grainy through the phone.

You nodded, "Sure! I'm free whenever, um, where do you want me to meet you?"

✽-

  The air was chillier than you'd expected, you suddenly regretted forgoing a jacket, and wearing a skirt. You tapped your nails softly against the picnic table where Eddie had asked to meet. You were a bit early, but you didn't mind waiting, and you definitely didn't want to leave him waiting, so you didn't mind sitting there.

  You shivered, and then startled, squeaking as Eddie came up behind you, quiet as ever, and placed his jacket over your shoulders. You blushed and he grinned, rounding the table to sit across from you.

  "Fancy seeing you here, sorry for spookin' you doll." His smile didn't leave his face. The metal of his lunchbox clanged as he put it between you two on the table before opening it. "So. Do you just want what I usually gave to you guys?" He asked, eyes kind and welcoming. You never understood the things you heard people say about Eddie, the things Andrew said about him behind his back.

  "Um..." You trailed off, blushing again. Of course because you always went with your ex to buy weed from Eddie, he'd assumed you smoked it with Andrew. "How- how much did Andrew get usually?"

  You tilted your head and he tilted his in return. "You didn't smoke with him?" He asked and you shook your head. "Have you smoked ever?" You shook your head again.

  "Andrew never let me smoke his stuff. Told me if I wanted to smoke with him I had to find my own dealer, get my own weed." You chewed your lip anxiously as you explained. "And the only people I knew who sell it are you and Tommy Hagan. I don't trust Tommy so..." Eddie nodded, following along as you spoke.

  "And you trust me?" He asked, a lilt of surprise in his tone. You nodded and he smiled. "Well. My van is parked just down that trail over there, let's get out of the cold, hm?"

✽-

  You laughed loudly as Eddie tried, and failed to blow rings with the smoke he exhaled from his joint. You'd never been high before now, and you were loving it. Eddie coached you through it, showed you how to take a hit off of the joint, held it to your lips as you took your first inhale, then rubbing your back through the coughing fit it induced. He even let you drink his water when your throat grew dry.

  Now you sat across from him in the back of his van leaning against the cool metal wall. Your laugh triggered Eddie's laugh and you both doubled over in an intense fit of giggles.

  "I never understood why Andrew laughed so much when he got high." You giggled through your words, you understood now.

  Eddie laughed in response. He coughed and reached out grabbing your ankle, "What uh- what happened with Andrew? Not that it's any of my business but uh- I don't know. I'm nosey." He laughed, straightening himself as he awaited your response.

  You chuckled bitterly under your breath at the thought of your break up. "He sucked at sharing his weed but um, he was great at sharing his time, and his attention... his dick." You snickered and grimaced, watching Eddie's face match yours.

  He scoffed and leaned his head against his shoulder. "That's awful. I'm sorry- what an idiot." He squeezed your ankle in his hand. "I don't see how he could ever hurt you like that... take you for granted like that." He sighed.

  His words had you blushing. "Yeah well, it's okay, I'm mostly over it.  I know that there are other guys out there- better guys." You made eye contact with Eddie for the first time that night, and suddenly the energy of the whole night changed.

  He nodded slowly, mouth just slightly agape. You'd noticed how pretty Eddie was long before you and Andrew broke up. It was silent for a moment, Eddie's hand moved from your ankle to your calf, long fingers wrapping around the underside of it, thumb stroking your skin. "Yeah... there are plenty of guys out there who'll treat you better. You deserve to be treated right." He proclaimed, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. Your throat went dry.

  Your legs relaxed, inching apart, calf resting fully in his hand. "I wanna be treated right." Your voice sounded so small and shy. You'd blame it on the weed.

  Eddie's eyebrows rose slightly his pupils wide and eyes glossy. "Let me treat you right." His voice was both domineering and pleading all in one and it filled you with a blooming heat.

  You couldn't find your words, just nodding eagerly, desperately. He didn't hesitate to move onto his knees, leaning over you and gently pulling you to meet his lips by your chin. His lips were warm against yours, you basked in it.

  His tongue glided over your bottom lip, waiting for you to part your lips before he entered them. It was a beautiful contrast compared to how Andrew would just shove his tongue in your mouth before you were ready, or willing.

One of your hands rested on the back of Eddie's neck lightly, holding him close to you while your other hand gently stroked his jaw. His hands found refuge on your thighs, holding the backs of them gently as he maneuvered his way between them. He didn't grind against you or anything, just kissed you, with his thumbs dragging tenderly against the goosebump ridden skin of your legs that were pressing against his hips. He was only willing to go at your pace, which you appreciated.

  He kissed you until your hips bucked up slightly, panty-covered clit bumping against the bulge in his jeans. The whimper you let out encouraged him to push his hips down to meet yours, he could feel your heat through the denim between you two.

  With the feeling of him rubbing against you, your let your head fall back as you whined softly. The sweet sounds you let out had his cock throbbing, and he soon found himself mouthing at the sensitive skin at your neck. "It okay if I leave marks?" He asked, his voice was dark but his words were kind, and you knew he'd listen if you said no. You also knew that you'd let him do anything to you if he kept making you feel good like this.

  "Yes-" and like that, you could feel him pull the skin below your pulse point past his lips, sucking there softly until he released your skin from his mouth and peppered kisses around it.

  You sighed at the cool air on your slick skin, you sighed as he continued kissing down your neck, sucking another mark just above the collar of your shirt. You looked forward to seeing the bruises he'd leave behind.

  You could feel his breath against your collarbone, his hands moving from your thighs to your waist, thumb playing with the hem of your shirt. Before he could even ask you to, you pulled back from him and pulled your shirt off.

He let out a heavy exhale as his eyes fell on your chest, his fingers twitching beside you. “You can take it off.” You spoke shyly, referring to your lace bralette. Your cheeks burned as you felt Eddie’s hand glide up your back, it only took a few seconds before you felt the clasp open and he was helping you remove your bra.

As your bralette fell to the floor of floor of his van next to your shirt, you heard Eddie’s breath hitch. “You are so damn beautiful.” Your heart was racing at his words, racing at how sincere he sounded. You weren’t used to this kind of attention and you were thriving from it

Quickly, Eddie’s tongue found your chest, flicking over your right nipple before he closed his lips around it, sucking softly. His fingers found your other nipple, gently pinching and rolling it until it hardened. The new sensation had your back arching, pushing yourself against him more. Eddie loved the noises you were making because of him, for him.

Eddie’s mouth left a trail of kisses from your breast and down your stomach. His bottom lip pressed against the band of your skirt and he held the fabric between his fingers. “Can I take this off of you darling?” He asked as he tugged lightly. You nodded your head but he didn’t move, “Words, baby.” He encouraged you to speak.

“Yes, please.” Your voice wavered with both nervousness and excitement. The eager smile on his face before he pulled your skirt down had your heart racing and your cunt throbbing.

When he pulled your skirt down, your panties came unexpectedly with them, you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not but neither you nor Eddie were complaining. What you really didn’t expect, was the audible moan Eddie let out at the sight of your naked body.

You began to sit up slightly, assuming Eddie would want you to ride him, but before you could get up all the way, Eddie was already laying between your legs, hands on your thighs. “What are you doing?” You asked softly and he tilted his head in confusion, tearing his eyes away from your cunt to meet your gaze.

He pressed a sweet kiss to your thigh. “I wanna taste you, that okay?” He asked, his eyes were blown out with lust, cheeks flushed red from arousal; still you knew he wouldn’t go any further if you told him it wasn’t okay.

“Taste me?” You asked, you weren’t sure what he meant. He smirked kindly, another kiss to your thigh. You were grateful he didn’t make you feel embarrassed for not knowing what that meant.

He inched closer to you, you could feel his breath against your opening and it made you dizzy. “I wanna taste your sweet pussy darling, make you feel good. I want you to cum on my mouth sweetheart.” He rasped, laying his head against your thigh. “What? Andrew never use his mouth on you pretty girl?” He was joking, but was both disappointed and pleased when you nodded your head, confirming his statement. He was disappointed that a gorgeous girl like you hasn’t experienced that before, but he was beyond pleased that he would be the first one to get to taste you. If he played his cards right, he’d be the only one.

You spread your legs for Eddie and relaxed back, his large palm squeezed your thighs as he held them open and immediately caught your clit in his mouth, sucking it gently, flicking his tongue over it, forcing moan after moan from your lips.

Andrew had never gone down on you before, despite the fact that you’d gone down on him every time he’d ask or even just every time you felt like making him feel good. He’d never return the favour however. You didn’t spend much time thinking about that- or any time at all. All you we’re capable of focusing on was Eddie and how good he made you feel.

Eddie thrusted his hips against the ground, sucking harder on your clit and moaning against it. Your thighs shook against your hand and you couldn’t speak. You wanted to tell him how good you felt, you wanted to let him know how good he was doing, but all you could manage was to moan and whine as you felt your stomach get tight.

He moved his hand off of your thigh and pushed two fingers inside of you slowly. There was a small stretch, but it didn’t hurt, if anything it felt fantastic.

He wanted to fuck you tonight, and so he’d make sure you were ready to take him, he didn’t want you hurting. Simultaneously, he sucked on your clit and pushed his fingers repeatedly against your g-spot. He revelled in the sensation of you clenching down on his fingers. He looked up at you from between your legs, your stomach flexing and your eyebrows pinched together as you moaned, his cock leaked precum into his boxers.

“Eddie-” you yelped his name, hips jumping and pressing down against his mouth. You could feel an impending orgasm, and you anticipated it with excitement. You’d never had an orgasm given to you by someone else.

He could feel you getting closer, he moaned loudly against your clit and you moaned even louder than him, yelling his name as you came. Your thighs shook and your hands found purchase in his hair, tugging lightly as your eyes teared up from searing hot pleasure.

Eddie rubbed your clit slowly as you came down from your orgasm. He moved up, peppering kisses over your cheeks until you came back to yourself, giggling. “I wanna see you, please.” You whispered, tugging lightly at his shirt.

He nodded, “Anything for you.” He had a sing-song tone that made you smile, and you watched hungrily as he pulled his shirt off. You didn’t have much time to admire his toned body, pretty tattoos, you were distracted almost immediately by the sound of his belt buckle.

Soon, you and Eddie were both naked in the back of his van, the windows of which were already growing steamy.

He leaned back over you and kissed you sloppily, hips slotting between your legs once again, only this time no clothes were separating you. “You gonna let me take care of you baby? Show you what it’s like to get fucked by someone who knows how to make a girl feel as good as she deserves?” He nudged his nose against yours, you were growing dizzy with lust and need for him.

You threw your head back as you felt the weight of Eddie’s cock slide against your soaking wet cunt. “Yes, please- please fuck me Eddie.” He loved the way your voice shook.

Within seconds, his balls were pressed flush against you, cock deep inside, you swore you could feel him in your stomach. He was both thicker and longer than Andrew, not by much, but still the difference was enough to have you sputtering.

“Oh god-” You moaned loudly, nails digging into Eddie’s shoulders as he began to fuck you.

He only laughed softly, “Close, it’s actually Eddie.” He teased, kissing your jaw as he hiked your legs up to rest on his hips as he fucked you harder, perfectly hitting your g-spot with every thrust.

You reached down to rub your clit but Eddie knocked your hand away with his own, rubbing it for you. He grinned wickedly at your broken moan, cock throbbing inside you at the sight of the thick tears pouring down your face. “Poor girl, so sweet and messy. Ever been fucked like this before? Andrew fuck you this good?” He asked.

You could only shake your head and cry for a moment before you found your words. “Never- never been fucked this good. You’re- you’re so g-good, Eddie.” You moaned, cunt clamping down on his cock.

Each of you were both growing closer, your hands and legs shaking, Eddie’s hips stuttered and his thrusts grew sloppy. His head fell down to your shoulder and you rested your cheek against his hair. “Cum inside me, p-please.” You whimpered.

He moaned in response, his orgasm hitting him like a freight train. The feeling of him cumming inside you and playing with your clit had you arching your back and screaming his name.

You both rested in the back of his van for a while, just holding each other. Heavy breathing, sweat slicked skin, and gentle kisses. “Thank you.” You whispered.

“Thank you.” He answered immediately. “I’m sorry he didn’t take care of you the way you deserve.” He kissed you again.

After you both got dressed again, you grew shy, and Eddie only found it endearing pulling the smile from you that he desperately wanted to see. “I’ll give you a ride home doll, ‘n when you need, or want anything, you give me a call.”

Of course you agreed, thanked him. And as he drove you home and you stared at him with hearts in his eyes, you were so grateful for Andrew. Grateful for him leaving Eddie’s number at your house.

[kafka-ish]

I think if Art wasn’t as serious about tennis he’d be such a coworker. Maybe it’d be in between summers at Stanford and it’s your first week there. He’s scheduled to train you, show you the ropes but when you first walk in he thinks you’re just another customer, a really pretty customer that’s got him changing up the script. Hey! How’s it going? What can I do for you? Find everything alright? He’s already thinking of ways he can slip you his number, maybe he’ll write it on your receipt. And he’s typing in his ID to give you his discount, anything until you say, “Actually, I work here.”

Art stops typing. Looks up, completely dumbstruck because you’re too pretty to be selling yourself out for some minimum wage corporation, to be doing any sort of labor. You need to be taken care of; any reason you should step foot in here would be to pick out a new tennis racket for a match you have. But you’re here. You work here. So he cancels out the order and says something about how he’ll get you a t-shirt, stay there.

He’ll take you to the back where the employee bathrooms are. You watch his fingers when he punches the numbers. “It’s like a six,” he says, and you think about that every time you use the code to get in. He waits for you outside the door while you’re changing, wishing he could get a glimpse, wishing he could be on the other side. He gets hard just thinking about it. He thinks about the kind of bra you’re wearing, if you’re wearing one, what you look like underneath the fabric. And he thinks you look so cute in that work-issued uniform even if the collar of your shirt isn’t folded over correctly - it only gives him the urge to reach over and fix it. Sorry, he says when he retracts his hand and sees the look you give him. He doesn’t mean it, not entirely, by the way a smile starts working its way on his face.

Art would give you a tour before you get started. He wants to show you around and he loves that he gets to be the first one to make an impression. Fucking revels in it. But he’s also weighted with the worry of making a good impression so some of his delivery is awkward: this is the stockroom it’s where we get stuff to… stock / we separate brands in sections so if someone asks where adidas is you can point to the three lines back there / managements making us ask everyone if they wanna round up their change but you don’t have to. I just ask anyone who’s paying cash. Or if they’re cute. The system makes you put their email in. He flushes a little because he doesn’t know why he says that last part.

I think Art would be so patient when he’s training you. He would take his time to over-explain everything and he doesn’t realize he comes off sounding like a douche. Telling you what all the buttons mean and asking if you want to come with him when he’s about to stock something just so you can see where it is for next time, obviously. But it’s just an excuse to talk to you!! He doesn’t know how and he figures since you both work there it’s an easy in and you think it’s so adorable that because it’s a slow day he’s pretending to be your first customer, gathering random items, having you scan them, and reminding you to ask if he wants to round up his change for charity.

“Not today”

“Okay, your total will be—”

“Hold on. You don’t want my email?”

“Well, you said no so…”

“No. Convince me. Really try and convince me.”He wants to know what lengths you’d go for him if this is how you’d happen to meet. So you say, okay it’s for this charity you guys are having.

“Say it’s for homeless animals. They eat that shit up,” Art lets you in on this piece of information like the manipulator he is.

“Is that what you do?”

And Art would make sure to stay near you just in case you need something, always bags the customers’ items so you can focus on the transaction. He loves the way you say his name, how timid you are when you whisper Art when you need help. He imagines that’s how you say it when he’s eating you out.

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

DFF Questions And Theories Recap

I wanted to do a post where I could put down all the major questions that are still unanwered from the show and give all my thoughts and theories on each.

What Happened to Non?

Earlier I saw this post by @slayerkitty that pretty much outlined my own thoughts on this.

I have been leaning into the idea that the boys pranked and drugged him for a while now. And episode 7 just confirmed it.

What I am the most unsure off, is what happened after. Because the fact that some of these boys seem to be sure he is dead while others aren't makes me think that something happened after the prank

Now is Non alive? This one I am not sure off, if he is I am leaning thowards maybe him being in a coma or catatonic or in some kind of hospitalized situation, maybe under a fake name, thanks to Phi's dad.

Because the Mafia (Tee's Uncle) want him dead, so a fake name for both him and his brother/family might be to keep them safe.

I am not positive he is the third killer (if there even is one) if he is alive.

Most of my brain is on camp Non is dead. For the simple reason that Tan especially seem to be focused on knowing what happened to Non, and/or getting a confession. And if he can talk to Non there would just be no used for that. There would be no need to wait that long. I don't know just a feeling.

Who Are The Killers and How Many there are? And Is Tan Non's older brother?

I will start with the obvious, Phi has to be one of the killers, we are all on board with that.

While my previous theory was that Tan was not the brother and the brother was an unknown player I think I have changed my mind.

I am now 90% sure Tan is New, Non's older brother. Am I still a little bit miffed they probably casted an actor who is the same age as Barcode to play his older brother, yeah, but I figured if the actor pulls it off I can overlook the real life age, it's not like we have not ignored that before in BL land.

About the number I waffle back and fort. I am currently leaning more with there are only two killers. But I can't ever fully commit to it. If you discount the quick appereances I think I have a handle on who did what and when, mostly. And they could have definately pulled it off just Phi and Tan.

Again I do still think the way the guy that is supposed to come pick them up was introduce feel like a set up for a third killer. But it could just be about making sure they are trapped there. I don't know.

I think that Tan might be a bit of blank character on porpouse because if he is the brother, which I am becoming more and more sure with each episode, the bulk of his characterization will be post reveal.

It's definately a delicate balance to struck, because if you make the character too distinct then the reveal feels like it's coming out of nowhere. I really like the actor's microexpression and the way the camera stays on his face sometimes, I think it's very subtle and the actor does a very good job with them.

Who realesed the video?

This section is a bit shorter, I mostly just want to highlight the two post I have seen pointing out some stuff about the video

This one by @firstmix

and This one by @raelle-writing

I wanted to add that maybe Tee and/or Top hide themselves in the office because they thought they could film the teacher giving Non money, and then caught something else instead.

I also think don't think (EDIT: I made a mistake in the og post) it's Jin that realesed the video.

Humans or Suprenatural

I am firmly on camp there is no supernatural, there is no cult. It's all staged.

I think the killers might be using drugs on the boys (see this post by @lukaherehelp for an excelled post on that)

And maybe some sort of induced hynosis/trance on Top, but it also just might be that the drugs and the fear are making him more inclined to help the masked killer, especially if he already thinks it's a ghost.

Also I don't currently have a specific post or remember the specific person sorry my memory is trash, but someone pointed out that sounds, the voices they hear and stuff, might also be used to fuck with people, if you are the person with that theory and see this tell me I will edit this. EDIT: @slayerkitty pointed out it was @shannankle who had this theory, thank you.

I think the dissapearing quick motionless apparitions might be some sort of projection. Specifically something tech related. I am thinking about Tan weirdly awakard talk with White about how he totally doesn't know anything about technology (that was a lie if I ever heard one)

And finally last but certanly not least: What are the killers realtionship/attitude thowards White and What is White role in the story?

White is the wild card, he wasn't supposed to be there. We have at least two conflicting statement on whose idea him coming with them was. Tee initially says, we agreed you would be good if you came and then says actually you didn't want to come and I instited later.

I don't think he is one of the killers there are way too many shots of him alone that make no sense if he is in on it.

Phi seems to be occasionally protective over him. In the scene where they are seeing Tee and White make out he is laughing with everyone but then after Tee says enough my little one will be sad (something of that effect) he turns to see White being embarred and puts a stop to it. He also always seem to want to keep White at the house where he could be safer.

Then of course there is the little awkward moment with the hands when Phi is telling him what to do for the shoot. It was such a odd moment to include, that it makes me believe there is something behind it we are not seeing.

Tan instead seems to be gently stearing him in a specific direction, the direction where he asks questions and wants the truth. Someone left the page of newspaper about Tee's uncle before leaving Fluke and White alone in the house, probably hoping that White would find it. I don't want to used the world manipulation yet, but it does feel a little like he is using him.

White has to be one of the final standing boys. I am not sure if he is going to be the only one. If Jin didn't realsed the video then Jin might also make it. And of course it depends about the killers. Making the killers so symphatethic the audience root for them is always a gamble if you want to end your series with both of them dead.

Is White meant to have some parallels with Non? Tee obviously is trying to change himself and be better for White, although he struggles between care and selfinesh still. White might also come from a poor background, the boys might have been more nice to him because they felt guilty about what happened to Non. There is also that moment with the rash that I think will have a bigger meaning eventually.

And has @shannankle has pointed out in their post on colors. He and Phi have some color connections with the orange.

I think that is it. Obviously the last question is about the ending, but I don't really have any theories I am ready to share for that yet. As you can see I am sure of very little.

[robustcornhusk]

so the fun thing about running really well in the race is that i get discounted entry to it next year, possibly into some other races too if i want to:

race has "subseed" and "elite" entry, discounted and free entry respectively. the idea is that a race is more attractive to most people if the runners up front are Real Fast; schelling point stuff.

this year's first place runner at the half ran like 1:10:00! that's fucking fast! that's ≅15:15 5k!

the cheap local 5k that happens monthly does not get sub-16 5k runners. one time i came in 2nd place with about 19:00.

admittedly i think some months the high school teams use it as a practice race, and those months it's more competitive.

this is to say: hell yeah the big race with the fast people up front? that's exciting!

so, the funny thing is that my ego is going to dictate how much of a discount i'm going to get

the men's subseed cutoff is 1:28, elite 1:18. the NB subseed cutoff is 1:40 and elite cutoff is 1:28.

i understand why the NB one is so far back. it's a combination of a couple of reasons: getting people who are as close as possible to human potential VS for many reasons people in that category are disproportionately unlikely to have had a lot of training VS encouraging that development VS there's only a handful of people in the category anyway.

oh let's look at numbers

20/1658 men qualified for elite, 87/1658 for subseed (overlapping) from the race itself: 1%, 5%

9/1058 women qualified for elite, 44/1058 for subseed, in the race itself: <1%, 4%

1/23 nb qualified for elite, 3/23 NB qualified for subseed in the race: small sample bullshit

weird; i though that more women than men run races in the US... but looking into it, i'm wrong. american marathons generally have more women in them than most non-american marathons, and big firstcomefirstserve + lottery races have more women than time-qualifying races, and the proportion of women is higher in younger age groups than older, probably due to generational differences + responsibilities + other reasons

anyway. the real answer for 'why is nb easier than m' is probably 'it doesn't fucking matter if we let 1 in for elite entry instead of subseed'

but i'm maaaaaad!!!! i should have to work for it!!! <- you clown, you DID work for it

---

i kinda like how NYRR handles it

Qualifying Time Standards The gender category that your results are posted under for the qualifying race will determine the gender category standards you must meet to earn a guaranteed entry. For Non-NYRR races, the policy remains that if you were unable to register as a Non-Binary athlete for your qualifying race, you may apply for a Non-NYRR Time Qualifier entry as Non-Binary and must meet the Non-Binary standards. If you change your gender category in your NYRR profile after your qualifying results are posted, you must meet both the standards of the gender category you have switched your profile to, as well as the standards of the gender category your results are posted under.

'we understand that not all races have an NB category & we'll deal with that. don't fucking try to game it.'

---

idk how the qualifying times should be done. nb being a grab-bag category is awkward as hell. it grates that it's the same times as the women's category.

---

if you come here to tell me ":) men and women should compete against each other directly :) men and women broadly have the same endurance and strength :) if a woman works as hard as a man, she'll be as strong :)" like that one fucking post talking about how good a certain swimmer is... i will be pissed!

sifan hassan did not run her ass off this summer, the most impressive olympic showing in 70+ years, for some fucking asshole to come in and say ":) well, she would've run as fast as the men if she had just worked harder :)"

---

it'd be neat to have free entry though; maybe my pride is worth 100 dollars

[timmo-eggo]

Remanufactured AU: Frankie and Monster Frankie lore!! part 2!!!

Lore stuff made for my self insert au!! Here's a link to the first part of my info dumping on Other Frankie and Monster Frankie: link !!! Also lil snippet of Henry Hotline lore ehhee.

-Frankie would get put into a dupe of the mascot animatronic as well. The most I can think of why he'd want that form is for immersion sake even though the viewers would never see him. -Despite murdering a good few people, the missing people got dealt with by the company, and as much as it angered the CEO he saw potential in Monster Frankie’s being the star of the show. -Monster Frankie would become a beloved animatronic mascot in the show. -The show would lay low before new seasons started coming and have contestants be encouraged to play dirty. Before it used to be that contestants would just keep going through the course even if they fall and whoever got through the final course first won! But now anyone who failed a course or landed on those “Frankie doesn’t like when you touch this floor” thingies, would immediately be eliminated through Monster Frankie gently taking them into the void of a ceiling or vent. This was implemented so Monster Frankie could continue killing people to satiate his bloodthirsty but in a way that viewers wouldn't question where the eliminated contestants went after he grabbed them. But then Monster Frankie got a tad too greedy and killed an eliminated contestant on camera. -The show didn’t get canned since no one could confirm if it was real or not. But some new enthusiastic viewers were entering the community when they heard about this. -Eventually, the private streaming service they used would be changed into another one but it was more of a dark web one, the site was mentioned a few times by those new viewers. -Next thing you know the previous rule of elimination was lifted but the contestant now had to worry about Monster Frankie on all fours chasing after them and lurking in the dark to spring surprise attacks. -The numbers would grow and so would Monster Frankie’s craving as his current form wasn’t providing him as much speed, strength, and intimidation as he wanted. A new suit, his present-time Monster form, would be commissioned and he’d hop his soul in there.

-Along the line, Henry Hotline was kept in storage while the show started up the murderous era for the show. Until Frankie found a use for him through the special service he whipped up “Henry call redeem: pay to call his head once at any time for a minute” . This redeem would be open whenever the show was airing or not and when it was airing Henry would be streamed before and after a season so the viewers could watch him suffer plus get a discount on the redeem if they used it during the stream. This would lead to the monster Henry we know and love. -Frankie and Monster Frankie would work together on the show with Monster Frankie handling making his murderous machinery and Frankie handling the business side of the show.

-This would be the trend for a long while until both would lose their creative sparks, Monster Frankie would stop making new killer obstacles and would tunnel vision on murdering the contestants as season intervals would get shorter seeing as not much park prepping would be needed with how quickly contestants died. Frankie wouldn’t have any opportunity to express more of his ideas that made the parkour palace look the way it did as there were no plans for expanding and redecorating. -The Henry call redeem would be taken down as the numbers waned and Henry would be put on hunter duty like Monster Frankie. Unfortunately, very few contestants would even reach his maze. -Frankie knew he would get fired from the show as being a show announcer didn’t do much for the show and he really wasn’t doing much else that was important enough for him to stay around. He would have to think fast and take a big risk for the next season to keep himself part of the show that he spent years on.

-Then the events of the game would occur with Millie, the winning contestant (NOT the self insert, this here is a child), bringing the numbers back up. -Along with Reese (THIS DWEEB IS THE SELF INSERT) the mechanic worming his way onto the property and given the job to be a mechanic with no pay but worse yet he had to find a way to bring back Monster Frankie before the next season came. This would be the start of the Remanufactured AU story.

IF YOU MADE IT TO THE END TY FOR READING MY SILLY AU LORE, I will reward you with a free "explode Henry's head" redeem!

[littleststarfighter]

You don't have to answer this at all, just wanted to give some perspective/info from someone who's been doing illustration commissions for about 15 years: in my opinion, it's always better to work backwards from an hourly rate rather than doing value-based pricing.

When working with private individuals as clients, US$30-50/hr is pretty standard for custom freelance stuff depending on experience, but since you're new to commissions I'd recommend offering a discount for the first few slots (both to get things moving, and also to give yourself lower-stakes "training" until you get used to the process—sometimes your workflow will change in ways you didn't expect under the conditions).

Personally, I prefer to offer a fixed quote based on my hourly rate, because that gets any kind of sticker shock out of the way. I estimate the amount of time it'll take me, add ~10% as a buffer, and apply my hourly rate. The fixed quote also gives me a little freedom not to stress out if it's taking more or less time than anticipated; I just make a note for my next quote and adjust accordingly.

The hourly rate might seem high to you, as it often does to people who are used to more traditional salary structures. But keep in mind that as a freelancer, you're also your own admin support: you don't bill for time spent emailing, researching, invoicing, etc. Tax can also get a bit complicated if you start doing a lot of freelance work.

My own base (non-commercial) rate is US$60/hr, because I've been doing this for a very long time. Frankly, the reason I have a lot of long-term repeat clients who pay my rate is because I communicate well and deliver on time. I set out a timeline up front with scheduled check-ins at various stages, and then I stick to that timeline no matter what. As someone who's also hired many freelance artists in the past, I know that reliability will win over genius every single time.

Speaking of timelines, ALWAYS be specific about the number and scope of revisions you offer. Depending on the project, I might phrase it as "2 rounds of revisions, with up to 1 hour of work per round" or similar. I bill anything beyond that scope at a higher hourly rate, usually about US$90/hr, billed by the half-hour. This also gives you leverage to say "Sure, I can add a whole new character and completely change the background; that will take about X hours which will put us into hourly billing territory at X rate." Either they'll back down or you'll be well compensated for the trouble, and most importantly (from a client services perspective) you've not told them no, you've given them options and reminded them what they've already agreed to.

In terms of payment plans, I normally require 50% up front (non-refundable) and 50% on final delivery. Since you haven't yet built up a rep as a commission artist, I recommend a lower up-front rate (maybe 20-30%). I do strongly advise getting SOMETHING up front to lock clients in and make sure they can't completely ditch if something happens. Plus, refusing to pay a small deposit is a major red flag.

I offer a 5% discount for complete payment up front, because it's honestly worth that 5% just to not have to deal with chasing people down and sending invoice reminders and whatnot.

I'm sorry to hear you've been going through such a tough time, and I hope this was helpful and not too overwhelming; it's just stuff I wish someone had told me when I was first starting out, and I think it's important for working artists to share info about business practices. I wasn't strict about a lot of things back then (like number of revisions), and it always ended up coming back to bite me. It might seem counter-intuitive, but I promise that thinking through and setting a lot of rules/boundaries up front will save you a lot of stress and trouble in the end.

I seriously want to thank you for this. It's incredibly informative not just for me but I'm sure other start out artists too. You've gone over things that I'd have no idea to do, thank you.

I'm certainly looking into how to pay tax as being in the UK I've never had to work that out before as we have it done for us in most jobs. So that would have been something I'd have forgotten about and it's not something you want to miss. I definitely have to time myself working as I don't know how long I take as I've never thought about that either. I just know I'm slow. It's interesting to see what you'd charge hourly as I see a lot of fan commissions having a low fixed rate depending on what you offer.  So definitely have to look whether to offer that or like you suggest a more freelance rate of pay. I'll admit US$30-50/hr made me gasp but that's because I'm used to working for UK minimum wage (roughly $13 a hr) so that seems a lot to me. Gives me something to think about. Though I worry about pricing people out to begin with what with being quite slow and a nobody. And yes! Never forget about getting a deposit. I learnt that the bad way decades ago when I did try to do a commission and was never paid. That's what made me nervous to even begin as I can be a pushover. So need to be more strict in what I can offer and of course revise too.

Seriously thank you this is so helpful. Like you say there's so much people don't share about getting into freelance and commission work. Getting that step up, even if it's me doing it, is something I've no idea how to even start on. I get people saying why aren't you working in art? But my answer is always 'how?' It's something no one's told me about. How to sell yourself and your work. Even commission work confused me. So please don't worry this is beyond helpful and I'm very grateful for you taking your time to help me. It's been a very rough few months but I'm trying to stay positive. This may help me while I find work. Much love, Lucy 💖

[3rddimension]

I'm the anon who wrote the body language thing, back two seconds later to respond to the person talking about the fear of being delusional.

Anon, we're in this together. 100% I get that. I got a spike of it when the "Somebody needs to wife Shayne up fr" confession came up on the stream tonight before Courtney immediately gave up the game with her reaction of pure confusion to it. With how she was so supportive of him dating during their "We're Bad At Dating" show a while back, you'd think if they weren't together she'd immediately be all over a confession of that nature.

Thing is, we obviously never know for sure until they confirm it(which is hopefully soon for my sanity's sake) but you gotta just keep in mind that good evidence is good evidence. Family photos are pretty damn bulletproof, even discounting all the other stuff.

I think all of us see Shourtney on screen and immediately jump to overanalyzing for clues, and when we seeing anything that slightly contradicts our pre-conceived notion of what happens off-screen, we lose our minds our a little bit.

It's important to remember that people had theories that Courtney and Shayne were secretly together back in like 2016 when they were both dating other people anyways, and those theories were cooked up off of the same evidence people are using to theorize about Courtney and SPENCER now. My point is that evidence against Shourtney is often unreliable, things like body language or that confession. Thing is, it's a lot easier to write excuses as to how that confession about Shayne ended up in there and a lot harder to excuse why Courtney was wearing Shayne's ASU sweatshirt or has a Broncos magnet on her fridge.

Hell, I can write excuses for that confession right now:

Somebody just wrote it as a confession of a crush to Shayne, regardless of whether they knew him and Courtney were together or not.

Somebody wrote it as an appreciation post for Shayne.

Somebody wrote it to jokingly fuck with Courtney, whether to just make her protective of her man or to try and pressure her towards engagement.4.

Somebody intentionally wrote it to throw off shippers.

A man wrote it, possibly for any combination of excuses 2, 3, or 4.

Again, my main point is, don't let it get to you. Keep a level head and be rational. Also, if you're ever really unsure, come here and I'm sure this community will already have a million excuses floating around for anything suggesting against Shourtney.

(Since this post wasn't spicy enough on it's own I also wanted to pose the question to the community of who y'all thought wrote the confession, just for fun. I think I would bet real-life money on it being Heidi.)

I think the number 2 is what's happening tbh. For the spicy answer I think it would be all the gen-z crew and Erin or Heidi is a good pick imo. lmfao

[girls-are-weird]

I know people say comments on the fic site are more effective than, say, rbing the announcement post on tumblr, but I only read your work on ffnet. Would you say that rule still applies when the fic site itself is pretty much dead and an rb would reach a wider audience?

well, i guess it depends on what you mean by “effective.” like, what is the ultimate goal? is it to share this fic you loved with others, or is it to let the author know how much you loved it? both are worthy goals, certainly.

as an author, i love comments. i love when people tell me how much they liked my stories, what their favorite scenes/moments were, or when they react in the comments as they read. even people who just leave a random sequence of emojis i can't ever hope to decipher (which happens a lot more often than you'd think 😄). it always makes me squeal, and it really does encourage me to keep writing. never underestimate how motivating a positive comment can be, especially for those of us whose life is really kicking our butts at the moment to the point where finding time in a hectic schedule to write something we're not getting paid for is an odyssey onto itself. it's always nice to know people are reading your stuff and liking it, but it's GREAT when they like it SO MUCH that they just absolutely HAVE to let you know how much it moved them. that's a special thing.

that's not to say other forms of reader engagement aren't lovely. kudos on AO3, for example, are fantastic, and they're a way to let the author know you're reading and enjoying. sometimes i'll post something late at night (i always post at ridiculous hours of the night because i'm in australia) then go to bed, and when i wake up in the morning i'll have like… one comment. and that's a little sad. but if i have a ton of kudos as well, that makes it better. it makes it feel like people are reading my fic/chapter and i'm not just sitting here halfway across the world, screaming into the void. so i'm not discounting kudos at all. some of my least-commented fics are also my most-kudos'd ones. but put it this way: kudos and likes are a bit like:

whereas a comment would be like:

and while i don't LIKE this, per se, it's also true that comments/kudos are a bit of a mark of popularity. i know people who look at the number of comments on a fic to tell them something about the quality of the fic and help them decide whether they should read it or not-- the idea being that fics with more comments are fics that people love more, or that more people love. it's also like that with kudos a little bit, but it takes a higher ratio of kudos to comments to produce the same effect as just having a decent number of comments would. and in FFN, where there are no kudos, comments are DEFINITELY much more of a "quality" marker. (which is a shame, because there are some gems out there that just don't get much traction for whatever reason, but that doesn't mean they're not great, and more people should read them.)

as for reblogs here on tumblr, i absolutely understand what you mean, and honestly, sharing the fic with other people might lead to more comments in the long run, so it's not like they're mutually exclusive. but in that same vein, why do you have to choose one or the other? sometimes when people reblog my posts, they leave short little comments in the tags (or even in the body of the post itself), and those never fail to make me smile. and if you don't want to do that, you can always just message authors directly to let them know how much you enjoyed their work-- it's not for nothing that we list all of our (ginormous list of) social media in our author's notes, and i guarantee you no author will ever be mad to receive a little note about their fic, even if it's just something simple like "hey, i just read your fic and wanted to tell you i really loved it. 🙂" it means a lot because it's an extra step that you didn't need to take, but you did take it, and that makes it all the more significant.

but of course, if you don't feel comfortable engaging in conversation, a reblog or a like or just kudos are more than welcome. (you can also leave kudos on AO3 as a guest, btw! you don't need to have an account or even identify yourself in any way.) i just want to reiterate, because i've gone through this recently and have had this happen many, many times through my years in fandom: it is so, SO important for us fanfic authors to know that someone out there is reading and enjoying our stuff. it can be very dispiriting to publish something you've been putting all your effort and blood, sweat, and tears, and emotional stability into, and get little engagement in return. any engagement is lovely, and i'm not saying that authors should depend on engagement to keep writing because i certainly don't, but some forms of it can be more impersonal than others, and also aren't as constructive when it comes to helping us better our craft. so please keep that in mind when you read, that there's someone on the other end of this story you loved that would love to know that you loved it.

tl;dr-- reblogs and likes and shares are great, and i adore any kind of engagement, and you should only do as much as you're comfortable with. giving the fic more exposure is certainly a worthy goal, and much appreciated. but comments/reviews are a step beyond "this was cool, cheers" as a ways for us authors to gauge audience enthusiasm, and they don't only come in the form of a formal comment/review as the fanfic-publishing platforms would have you think, either. there are many other ways to let authors know what you thought about their work… including in reblogs… so it would be fantastic if more people took advantage of those avenues, because it really can make a fanfic author's day/week/month/year when they get a little comment from their readers. and you never know, maybe they needed something to make them smile at that exact moment. ❤️️

[crowscommunion]

Honestly, it's been nice having someone who was also recently given a lot of delegation tasks and who also has to deal with turning in drawers and stuff, because even though we work at totally different places, we have a lot of similar experiences and responsibilities.

And managing people isn't really something I like doing, it's a responsibility I got randomly and I've been told I'm doing well, but delegating tasks and telling people what to do falls outside of my comfortable realm.

I'm not the kind of person who usually gives orders, I'm the type of person who sees a job that needs to be done and I do it myself.

But I can't do that now, because my job is to delegate tasks to other people whose job it is to do that job. And I'll tell you what, people often don't like being told to do things, so it can be awkward and annoying at times.

But today, he and I got to talk about all the weird chamber of commerce discount checks you get and how to file them into paperwork when they look totally different every time and you really have no way of verifying it apart from any other paper someone put words and a number on lol.

So we had the relatable discussion about being nervous, even though logically you can see it's embossed and it's almost definitely valid. It's just when you see a piece of paper and not an actual check, some of them actually look really unprofessional or even kinda silly in comparison to the ones that look like legitimate checks.

He and I also got to talk about the fact that some people in the area have been whitewashing $10 bills to make $100, and the markers for verification obviously doesn't work because it's still a valid type of bill, so we talked for awhile about that, too. People really do be trying the hardest to get away with giving you fake money, that's why when you see this literal piece of paper that says "HEY, THIS IS A VALID TICKET FOR $10" it's like.. but this is just a piece of paper and I've never seen one of these that looks like this before.

It's like when you see a funky looking $10 that looks like it's from the 1800's and for a split second you're like.. Is that actually real money?

One time someone turned in a FILM GRADE $20 bill, it was actually fake money that looked dangerously similar to an actual $20 bill, and it got accepted when it literally said it was for "MOTION PICTURE PURPOSES" in the small print across the top of the bill.

Gotta keep your eyes open and be skeptical of everything when you're responsible for what gets turned in at the end of the night. Both of us having similar job concerns and stuff has actually given us the ability to relate to each other's job, so that's been nice at least.

We actually get to sit down and talk while we wait for food to get done and talk about our days. That's how we usually end every day, then we play games, cuddle, hang out, etc.

[katherinejblackwell]

Yours, Katherine #8.5 - Room Progress & Current Reads

Also read on my website! | Other Socials

Photo by Daniela Constantini

Dear Readers,

Well, for one, let's address the decimal-ephant in the room. 

Starting this month, I'm testing out a new posting schedule for the blog and YouTube. I've felt like both of the hobbies have been slipping lately, so I decided to try alternating every month if I focus on writing a blog post or making a video. That way, I'm giving attention to both and I have a small, achievable creative goal each month. But I also didn't really want the blog to stop being monthly, and I liked last month's format where I tried writing it more like a letter to fit the blog's theme. So, the blog will keep coming out monthly, but I'll have two different post styles. The months where the blog is the focus, I'll have a more formatted post that focuses on a specific topic and the number in the header will be a whole number. The months where the channel is the focus, I'll write a post that's more ramble-y and letter-like and the number will have a .5 after it to show that we're kind of in-between the "real" posts. Hope that makes sense! This might change again in the future as I get a feel for what works for me, but we'll stick with this for now.Now, an announcement, which I'm retroactively putting at the beginning of the letter because, in writing my first draft, I somehow managed to completely forget to bring it up.

I made a Discord server!Sort of.I did, in fact, make a server, but there are no public channels open for chatting. That might seem counterintuitive, but here's my train of thought. Even though I don't think anyone would be using them much any time soon, I believe moderating public chatrooms like that carries a big responsibility to do things correctly and fairly, and that's something a little more delicate than I'm willing to undertake at the moment. Also, the main motivation behind making the server anyway was that I wanted there to be one hub to get notifications and stay up to date about everything that I post. I do post on Tumblr and Instagram when I upload something new, but it's really easy for that to get lost in the feed. I thought a server would work well because if the notifications are contained to one specific channel, there's no feed of other posts to get lost in and it's really easy to scroll up a bit and see what you missed. I also like Discord as an option because, with a server, I can always add extra stuff for fun as I think of it, and I've already added a few extra channels. There's one where I'll post a song I like every week on Sunday, one where I'll post pictures of purple things that I find out and about, and one called #free-stuff where a Discord bot will share when it finds free games that are normally paid, and where I'll post when I find cool stuff that's free/discounted for a while. The invite link has been added to my 

social media tab, and after this post goes out I'll be adding the link to all my accounts!If you have any questions, feel free to shoot me a DM on Instagram, or 

poke your head into the server to check it out yourself. 

​ Now, to actually get into it, not much has happened since my last letter. Or, at least it oddly doesn't 

feel like much has happened. A lot has happened, or at least one event that feels like a lot, though it's not something I can really share here. So, either way, as far as things you're allowed to know about go, not a lot has happened. I feel like I don't have much to update you on (the yapper will persevere, however). I haven't made good on my "surprise" that my room would be completely cleaned the next time I wrote. I didn't really think I would, honestly, but I did have a little bit of hope. That being said, I haven't made 

no progress. I get little bits done week by week. Last night, my project was going through my pen stash and picking just a handful to keep. The rest I'll be spending the next few days trying to find good homes for. My next goal is to sort through all of the paper clutter I have in my room. Mostly, it's old class materials from high school that I saved in case either I needed to look back at it or my younger friends needed help with a class I'd taken before, but it's been long enough that I'm past any of it being useful anymore. I also have an 

obscene amount of sheet music from doing band throughout high school and middle school. So, after I order 

these boxes I've been eyeballing, I'm gonna go through absolutely all of the old papers/notebooks I have in my room and by my desk downstairs and clear out as much as possible. The hope, at least for the school stuff, is to have only one box each for elementary, middle, and high school, which means a 

lot would have to get pitched. Fear not, though, I fully intend on recycling everything I don't keep. And, conveniently, I wanted to try making my own paper again soon, so I'll be setting aside plenty to get blended into pulp too.Very off topic, but I was thinking about Christmas last night. Being the kind of person who makes a lot of my Christmas gifts, it's way past when I should've started making things, so I was spending some time brainstorming ideas. I'm both excited for Christmas and not. I love making and wrapping presents. I get so much joy out of spending hours at my desk making art and customizing the wrapping - adding stamps and thrifted ribbons and tying little charms onto the bow. The lights are beautiful, I get to bury myself under a pile of blankets while I read, peppermint hot chocolate is in season, and I get a well-earned break from work and school. I'm looking forward to all of it. And yet, there's all this . . . 

Stuff I'm dealing with that does, in a roundabout way, relate to the holiday season. As much as I'm looking forward to it, I know there's also going to be a slight cloud hanging over my heart all the while. I don't mean to keep bringing up something I can't tell you about, it's just what's been on my mind recently, and I think it's kind of interesting how something that's meant to be wholly joyful can be a complex time of year for a lot of people, for plenty of different reasons. I did a found poem during my creative writing class last Winter about that, I'll add it to the letter so you can read it.

I didn't even really mean to be writing about it when I started the poem. Though, I'm not sure how easy it is to intend to write about something when you're making a found poem. You're kinda just stringing together the words you have available in a way that you hope sounds nice. You can do your best to look for words that follow a certain theme, but really, you're at the mercy of the materials you have. Which, feasibly, you could grab a few dictionaries and thesauruses and comb through them for all of the exact words that you want in your poem, but that kind of goes against the point, doesn't it? That's not a found poem anymore. You're not arranging a limited pool of words to make something new, you're just writing a poem like n0rmal and choosing to transport it from your brain to the physical world in an interesting way.

I wonder if anyone's ever completely rewritten a book using just the words contained in the original book. I wonder how you would even go about that. Lots of spreadsheets, I imagine. The closest thing I can think of is Alphabetical Diaries by Sheila Heti (which I heard about through this amazing podcast). In it, the author took roughly 500,000 words from journals she'd kept over the years and organized the sentences alphabetically in a spreadsheet, then trimmed it down from there. Kind of a marble sculpture technique to writing. I haven't read it yet, but I'd really like to at some point just to see what comes out of a writing process like that. A Humument is also kind of similar (shoutout 2022 SAT), but that's still not quite what I mean. I mean taking literally every word from a book and rearranging them however you want (probably with some leftovers), and A Humument is a collection of found poetry created page by page. (Still can't wait to finally get my hands on a copy of the final edition though.)

Something else I've been doing that's vaguely in the spirit of getting my room under control: reading a lot more. The shelf I use for my current reads/library materials and my tbr shelf have been really out of control lately. The first shelf is mostly the fault of my recent cross stitch obsession; I have a ton of pattern books out. Right now, I'm on and off working on taking pictures of my favorite pages in books I know I won't get around to for a while and saving them to labelled folders in a Google Drive. That way, I can get the physical books off my shelf until I need them and still have my favorite patterns saved to look through when I'm ready for a new project. I've only gotten through three of them so far, but even that has helped a lot, those books are massive. I've also been trying to pick books from my tbr shelf to read when I can because, once I read them, I can get them on the big bookcase where they belong and hopefully clear out some of the overflow. I have a few books going right now: an audiobook I just started, a library book, and a novel from my tbr. 

The audiobook is Counting the Cost by Jill Duggar. I just earlier today finished listening to In the Form of a Question by Amy Schneider (which I gave four stars) and I was looking for something that had a slightly similar vibe. I thought Counting the Cost would work because there are, of course, religious themes in Duggar's book and that's something Schneider talks about a little here and there in hers. I'm not even a full chapter in yet, so I can't say much about how it is yet, but I'm at least interested.

The nonfic from the library is Make a Zine by Joe Biel and, even though it's short, I'm not confident yet that I'll actually finish it. I think the subject is interesting, but I'm finding more and more that audiobooks are a way better method of absorbing nonfiction books for me. I originally wanted this to be my next audiobook after getting stuck on the physical copy, but on Spotify it's not included in premium and my library doesn't have an audio copy on CD or through either of our apps, so I'm kind of out of luck. I might take another crack at it because I would really like to learn more about the history of zines, I'm just not 100% sure I feel like finishing it right now. If I don't finish it by the end of October, I think I'll dnf it for now and then come back to it later.

And, lastly, the novel is Deadfall Hotel by Steve Rasnic Tem. I was really, really skeptical starting this book because it's marketed as this chilling horror and I'm really so super bad with horror media, but so far (granted, only ~6o pages in), it's really not bad. It's a little creepy, but in the same way Welcome to Night Vale or The Magnus Archives are creepy. Like, don't get me wrong, TMA is bad enough to make me nauseous at times, but if the book doesn't get worse than that, I think I'll be able to handle it. The only reason I felt okay about trying to read it and not immediately donating it when I was going through my book collection was the fact that there were a lot of tepid reviews on Goodreads saying it really wasn't all that scary, so my hope is that it'll just fall into that kind of quirky/spooky spot somewhere between WTNV and TMA levels of horror and that I'll end up keeping it.

Probably my last point before I send you off to go back about your lovely October: organizing my Goodreads. I haven't worked on it in a while (maybe I should sit down and get another chunk out of the way after this?), but for a few nights in a row last week I was going through about 100 books on my Goodreads every night and organizing them into different shelves based on genre. I thought this would be really helpful because, when I make my seasonal tbr lists, I like to pick a genre or two to focus on that fit the vibe of the season to me. Before, my only shelves on GR were the default want to read, read, and currently reading shelves, plus a couple others for like favorites and dnfs. I've been tagging every book as either fic or nonfic, then adding more specific genre tags after that. So far, aside from the general fic and nonfic tags, the biggest category is romance, surprising absolutely no one. I'm pretty sure most of it is YA fantasy romances. (I have a type, what can I say?) It's really, really tedious to work on and I get antsy after a little while, but I know it'll be worth it in the end. It's going to make everything so much easier to find. I also feel like having easier access to every fantasy or every mystery or et cetera when I'm making my reading lists is going to be really conducive to reading things I haven't before instead of clinging to the same books I normally reread every season. I think I'd like one of my reading goals next year to be specifically trying to pick books to read that I've never read before so I can broaden my horizons and find new favorites. ​ Well, I have officially talked your ear off (or . . . written your . . . eyes out?) for long enough. Is it cold where you are? It's finally getting cold here. Which, like most things in my life at the moment, has brought mixed feelings. I am glad I get to start wearing my favorite clothes without being at risk of heatstroke soon, though. I hope you're all staying warm. Make sure to take extra good care of yourself as Winter gets closer. I'll write to you again soon. Much love.

Yours, ​Katherine

[dartagnantt]

School of Illusion: Revised | Fixing what would be the best subclass ever, if it weren't for the meh

PDFs of this and more can be found over on at my Patreon here! I release everything for free, so your support makes this possible. I'm working on a new class for 5e! Follow the Kickstarter here! I've also started making a new system based off of 5e, 6th Dawn! Become a patron and join the playtest.

The official 5e illusionist wizard is one of my favourite subclasses ever and I've had a bunch of fun with it when I could get away with using illusions. But, that caveat there is responsible for a few design choices I've made with wizards recently.

Illusion Savant

Firstly, the school savant feature. First, as reasonable as it sounds to give you bonuses for scribing spells of your chosen school, all it does is encourage you to NOT take schools of the appropriate type. So, it needs to change.

Secondly, as an illusionist, I found myself struggling to prepare illusion spells AND be useful, and when you think about it, a cleric has 10 more spells avaliable to it than the wizard. The goddamn paladin has the same number of spells as a wizard. So, solution time. Take the pathfinder 1e approach and let you prepare additional spells of the given school. Really, it's just a more versatile version of the subclass spells mechanic.

Lesser Illusion

I won't lie, the Improved Minor Illusion feature is perfect. Minor Illusion is not only the only illusion cantrip, it is basically the quintessential premise of illusion distilled. And letting you use both parts at once is great.

Portable Illusions

The Malleable Illusions feature sounds good at first. "You can change the nature of your illusion" Except that just gives away the fact that it's an illusion, no? The only good use I've had for it was at level 14, when I got Illusory Reality and combined it with Hallucinatory Terrain to make a discount Mirage Arcane.

So, instead I've opted solve another limitation I've had with illusions. Illusions are anchored to where you put them. Which is fine, most of the time. But I know for a fact that I've used Major Image illegally to chase gnolls through a cave disguised as a lava flow, but god was that fun. And another instance, where I distracted a monster with an illusion while we went by, but that just meant I wasted a spell slot and a 10 minute spell for a 2 second encounter. Feels bad man. I can think of a lot of more interesting uses if you could attach an illusion to something else so you don't even need to care.

Guise of Innocence

Illusory Self is a feature, that sounds great, and it really is quite strong. But I felt like it didn't do much. Several times it just didn't come up because it wasn't an attack roll, but then others it didn't matter because multiattack is a thing, so I'd burn my reaction and my only use of this feature and then be vulnerable anyway. This was the feature I agonised over the longest. I knew I didn't want another feature that modified how illusion spells worked, but I felt like a reaction defensive ability would just be admitting defeat. So, I asked, "what would my illusionist do?" And my illusionist would make himself seem benign. So, we now have a version of sanctuary which seemed quite neat.

Unreality

I won't lie, this is the other half of this subclass being the best subclass in the game. But it's also part of the 'parts that could be better'. The first time I used it, I used it amazingly, in my opinion. However, I also used it wrong, because I made creatures real. Which is just objectively cool. As is bonking people with illusionary pianos

And now to plug my stuff. I release homebrews weekly over on my Patreon. Anyone who pledges $1 or more per post don't have to wait a month to see them, and also help fund my being alive habit.

At the moment, they have exclusive access to the following:

Oath of Discord

Modular Airships

Lightspawn

Aasimar Reborn

I also have three classes, and a splatbook over on DriveThrueRPG to check out:

The Rift Binder. A class specialising in summoning monsters and controlling the battlefield.

The Witch Knight. A class that combines swords and sorcery in the most literal way.

The Werebeast. A class that turns you into a half beast to destroy your foes.

d'Artagnan's Adventurer Almanac. A compendium of races, subclasses, feats, spells, monsters and more!

[douchebagbrainwaves]

YOU GUYS I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS

More likely, you'll just find that for some mysterious reason good things happen to them too. Starting a startup is not like having an idea I didn't want to be novelists.1 Thanks to Sam Altman and Jessica Livingston for reading drafts of this. If you've never seen a word before, it is genuine.2 He would say that this has happened to. Another group was worried when they realized they had to do it? To change the interface both have to agree to change it easily, or at least a generation to turn people into East Germans luckily for England. Dilution Users have worried about that since the site was about bands. In server-based application now for less than you think you'll need, maybe 50% to 100% more, because software changes fast and government changes slow. And acquirers tell me privately that revenue is not what growth rate makes a company a startup.

There's no incentive that would make me eligible for prescription drugs if I approached everyday life the same way as saying that something is worth doing, especially if you have a competent startup lawyer handle the deal for you, as Google did for Kleiner and Sequoia. There is nothing more valuable than the advice of someone whose judgement you respect, what does it add to consider the cost. A stage. Once investors like you is that you actually become a better investment.3 It shouldn't be that surprising that colleges can't teach students how to write software. Reminder: What I'm looking for are programs that run on Web servers and use Web pages as the interface. This lets me get ip addresses and prices intact.4 But I don't think so. Maybe the best way to explain how it's recession-proof is to do things that would make me eligible for prescription drugs if I approached everyday life the same way I write software: I sit down and start implementing it. In retrospect, he was before he became a professor at MIT.5 Possibly not. But we could tell the founders were earnest, energetic, and independent-minded enough to start a startup, you'll probably fail.

Some investors might expect the founders to accept vesting for a sum this size, and others that aren't.6 But when you understand the problem. Going upstairs his bulk will be more of a placeholder than an actual label—like putting NMI on a form that asks what you're going to have a book about how to make them irrelevant.7 There seem to be a tradition of startups taking VC money, you should do is to treat it as an upper bound on the size of the venture business, which have evolved the way they write software. Would anyone seriously argue that Cobol is equivalent in power to founders is just don't die, but the most important predictor of success. We thought Airbnb was a bad idea was that it was valuable and dangerous, and what that will mean for you if you choose them. It will always be lots of Java programmers, so if you're measuring usage you need a window of about two years when spam was increasing rapidly but all the big email services had terrible filters. So, in practice, the way to make yourself work on hard problems.8 Number one will be the limit; the number of temptations around you.

Notes

Only founders of Hewlett Packard said it first, to pretend that the Internet was as much as Drew Houston needed Dropbox, or working in middle management at a discount of 30% means when it converts. No VC will admit they're influenced by buzz.

We didn't try to go sell the bad idea, period. This seems to them this way, without becoming a Texas oilman was not just something the telephone, the space of careers does. Correction: Earlier versions used a technicality to get them to be discovered. After reading a draft of this essay wrote: My feeling with the guy who came to work on stuff you love: a It did.

They'd be interchangeable if markets stood still. Cost, again. How many times that conversation was repeated. If Congress passes the founder of the word as in Boston, and tax rates.

You can get rich, purely mercenary founders will seem as if having good intentions were enough to be room for something new if the similarity extended to returns.

If they no longer needed, big companies weren't plagued by internal inefficiencies, they'd be called unfair. With a classic fixed sized round, or your job will consist of bad customs as well.

If there's an Indian grocery store near you doesn't mean you suck. It seems likely that in the chaos anyway.

Above. But when you depend on Aristotle more than linearly with its size.

They hate their bread and butter cases. It may have been sitting in their hearts that if you do if your goal is to be sharply differentiated, so you'd have to do that. That's probably true of nationality and religion as well. How can I count you in?

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 21.2.24

Dream 1: SM and I are sitting beside each other at a desk and doing some kind of work together. I can’t see what it is, though it feels like some kind of project. It feels tedious. We're both kind of exasperated. It feels like it’s been many hours. But I’m glad to be doing the work together and it feels good to have his energy beside me. After awhile I start to show some signs of exhaustion, like sighing etc, so he rubs me on the back as a show of encouragement.

Then we leave to go somewhere else. I think we board a tram, and get off at a stop. I was supposed to continue on with him but at that moment I saw my mother in the street and suddenly she is dragging me off to a doctor's appointment. Before I know it, we are sitting in the waiting room of the clinic, with some other people. Instead of sitting next to my mother, I sit a few seats away from her. There is some lady who moves over to sit next to me who I recognise, probably a customer from work. I become annoyed since I just want to wait in silence and not have to make small talk. I want space.

Then in the next scene, I am sitting next to my mother and one of her friends, some lady. They are both trying really hard to have me be part of the conversation but I'm completely zoned out and not 'there' at all. They keep asking me questions but I'm not responding. I don't care. In fact, I'm on my phone the whole time. I am trying to send a message to SM about how I got side-tracked, that I'm with my mother right now and that's why I disappeared. I don’t think he responds. Nevertheless, I am very pre-occupied with the energy of what I'm trying to do, rather than where I am currently am.

Then I realise that we aren't even here to actually attend a doctor's appointment. My mother just wanted something from this lady and she just happened to know this friend would be here. A white/cream-coloured lace choker necklace appears. I think the lady is gifting it to my mother. My mother is having trouble putting it around her neck so I help her with the clasp. It doesn't fit very well. It's kind of stretched out and half-torn but it's still pretty and dainty looking.

Then we get up and leave the waiting room as if that's all we were here for. She takes my phone from me and it looks like she is about to turn it off and start lecturing me about how rude it is to play on your phone in front of company but I take my phone back from her and she says silent. I need to go find my car and drive home. But I think my mum wants to drive us home. The energy of where we are feels like our local Viet town. We used to frequent this shopping strip when I was a child. I keep thinking I should go and retrieve my car and drive myself home but I kind of just let it go. I think I'm going with mum.

Dream 2: My manager, MN, is messaging me about a whole bunch off stuff to do with work. He is asking me if I told a customer that something would be $6.99 (or around that, some number starting with 6). It appears that one of us authorised a discount without running it past him. He asked if it was either AL or I. Then a little while after, he said that it must have been HF (a former co-worker), and how 'entitled' she is to be making these sorts of decisions. He didn’t seem that seriously angry, just letting off steam because he was frustrated.

Then he says to me, Kath, I figured out a way to make shifts go faster. (Or I figured out why it is they go faster). Have your lunch break outside the shop (leaving the premises), instead of staying inside. Leave the shop and the weeks seems to fly by much faster this way. (I think because of the change in scenery and fresh air?). Then he said one of our students is reading the same manga as him and she seems to be speeding through it. She’s already a few pages ahead of him. He seemed surprised and impressed by this.

[elumish]

So I was thinking more about this, and actually specifically about the Propaganda Model (PM) and then attempts to extend the PM out to entertainment (e.g., the Hollywood Propaganda Model). And I was thinking of them specifically in the context of fandom. (This is going to get a little technical. Sorry.)

The PM is a model created by Edward Herman and Noam Chomsky in the early 2000s (or at least that's when the book came out) to analyze and explain news media in the United States. Analyzing news media isn't my area of expertise and I haven't read that full paper, but the gist of it is that Herman and Chomsky argue that coverage about the U.S. gets filtered down by a number of factors to get it within the bounds of what is allowed to be expressed in the media. Those filters are "concentrated ownership, the economic importance of advertising, the centrality of the government as a source of information, the ability of the powerful to issue flak, and a dominant ideology of a superior 'us' in the West versus a backward 'them' overseas."(1)

Matthew Alford proposed a Hollywood Propaganda Model, built off of this, to attempt the same thing but with film instead of news media. He also had five filters: concentrated corporate ownership, advertising, sourcing, flak and enforcers, and anti-"other" as control mechanism.(2)

For both of these, a lot of the core to this is the idea that it's forces beyond the writers/direct creators (e.g., corporate owners, advertisers, U.S. government) who are essentially putting their fingers on the scale and either squashing or minimizing content critical of the U.S. government or its actions or pushing content positive towards the U.S. government and its actions. I don't necessarily disagree with this idea--we know for a fact that the government and especially the military plays a big role in films about the military.(3)

But I think a lot of this discounts the sentiment held by many directors, producers, and even writers that is largely positive towards the U.S. government and the military. I think a lot of the content would be pretty much within that same bounds of acceptable even without the corporate/government thumbs on the scale. For TV, I think about cop shows--Donald Bellisario and Dick Wolf, of NCIS and Law and Order fame respectively, are massive fans of the military and the police. They were going to write pro-military and pro-cop shows regardless, and their shows make up a ridiculous fraction of all of the police procedurals that have aired over the last 30 years. Maybe the fact that it's such a large fraction of what gets on air is because of the corporate thumb, but I don't think the actual pro-military/cop bent of the show is.

But also, I look at fanfiction. And even within fanfiction, it largely fits within the exact same boundaries of somewhat-critical through extremely-positive towards the U.S. and its policies as the stuff I'm seeing on TV, and it does it all without a corporate thumb on the scale.

Now, I haven't done a full study on fanfiction for this topic, and I can't say with any certainty if my instincts are correct, but I've read a lot of it, and I can't remember reading much of anything that stood out to me as particularly more critical of the U.S. government or its actions than published material. The same is true (or even maybe more true) of the self-published materials I've read, which similarly don't have those corporate, advertising, and government filters that Herman, Chomsky, and Alford talk about.

None of this is to say that they're necessarily wrong(4) but rather than I would be interested to see where fanfiction and self-published fiction falls in comparison, and also that I think that they underestimate the degree to which many people who are creating work for public consumption are relatively uncritical of the U.S. government and its actions. This is not to say that many people don't disagree with the U.S. government or actions it takes, but rather that most people don't actually see the U.S. as a "terrorist state", "rogue state", or "failed state"(5) and so aren't writing it as such not because of the corporate overlords but because of their own beliefs.

(1) From Matthew Alford's "Why Not a Propaganda Model for Hollywood"

(2) Ibid.

(3) From Alford: "At least a quarter of major 1991-2002 films depicting the application of US force received full cooperation from the Pentagon..."

(4) I disagree with some fundamental parts of what Chomsky says, including in this, but that's the subject of a different essay

(5) From Matthew Alford's book The Propaganda Model Today. The quotation marks are his--he's quoting Chomsky talking about the U.S.

If you're interested in reading about how fiction shapes people's views on and actions regarding real-world issues, this article has a decent section on it.

[just6f]

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