#and being in a committed romantic relationship

[amygdalae]

Well my date liked Hellraiser so much I got dicked down 👍

[wayward-imp]

Also, a whole lotta people who are ace or aro or aroace or demi or really who fall anywhere in that general region of the tag cloud are also simultaneously polyamorous. When love isn't something you experience as being strictly sexual or romantic, it's a lot easier to recognize and celebrate it in abundance in all its varied forms.

I for one am keenly aware that I am polyamorous not because I have ever maintained relationships with a geat many lovers (nor even really wanted to), but because I deeply love so many friends. As far as I'm concerned sex or romance are just things that may or may not come along to spice up a friendship, and I am not deeply invested in whether or not they do. I am however extremely invested in continuing to enjoy dates with all my friends, in whatever capacity and context feels good and right for us at the time, and remaining open to that shifting as we all continue to grow together. There's a degree of love and commitment in that openness which I think is hard for more traditionally monogamous people to recognize for what it is, though perhaps that is beginning to change.

It really says something that a lot of monogamous people consider polyamorous and aromantic to be "opposites" but every polyam person I know took one look at aromantics and said "they're just like me for real"

[wisesoultarot]

Why will your future spouse choose you?

Instagram | Want to tip me for my work? | For personal reading

💜Image 1

There exists a profound connection that transcends this lifetime, compelling them to choose you. This individual has traversed a landscape of relationships marked by numerous obstacles and disappointments, often grappling with the challenge of finding someone who embodies the feminine energy that harmonizes seamlessly with their own masculine essence. Each encounter has left them yearning for a deeper connection, a bond that goes beyond the superficial exchanges that often characterize modern relationships.

Upon meeting you, they will sense an immediate and undeniable bond that surpasses mere surface-level attraction. It will be as if the universe conspired to bring you together, and in that moment, they will recognize that you resonate with them on a much deeper plane. This recognition will be instinctual, a feeling that transcends words and logic, as if you both share a history that stretches far beyond the confines of this lifetime.

When they encounter you, it will be as if a missing piece has finally fallen into place, completing a puzzle they didn’t even know was incomplete. Your presence will evoke feelings of understanding and acceptance that they have long sought but never truly experienced. In your company, they will feel a sense of ease and comfort, as if they can finally let down their guard and reveal their true selves without fear of judgment or rejection. This connection will feel authentic and transformative, allowing them to embrace their true selves in a way they never thought possible, shedding the layers of pretense that they had worn for so long.

Most significantly, they will experience love in a way that feels entirely new, as if they are finally being seen and cherished for who they are at their core. This love will not be conditional or transactional; instead, it will be a pure expression of mutual respect and admiration. The profound sense of belonging and emotional safety that you provide will solidify their choice in you, as they come to realize that you are the partner they have been searching for all along. In your eyes, they will see a reflection of their own soul, and in your heart, they will find a sanctuary where they can truly be themselves.

Together, you will embark on a journey of growth and discovery, exploring the depths of your connection and nurturing the bond that has been forged between you. This relationship will not only enrich your lives but will also serve as a catalyst for healing and transformation, allowing both of you to flourish in ways you never imagined. As you navigate the complexities of life together, you will find strength in each other, creating a partnership that is both empowering and deeply fulfilling.

💜Image 2

This individual has navigated a romantic life that can best be described as rather uneventful, primarily due to the multitude of obligations they have had to shoulder for their family and household. These responsibilities, which range from daily chores to long-term commitments, have significantly impacted their ability to engage in a fulfilling romantic relationship. The weight of these duties has often left little room for personal connections, leading to a sense of longing for companionship that remains unfulfilled. As a result, they yearn for a partner who is not only willing but eager to share the load equally. They envision a relationship where the burden of responsibilities does not rest solely on one person, allowing both partners to thrive and enjoy their time together without the constant stress of unmet obligations.

In their quest for love, they seek a relationship characterized by fairness and mutual contribution, where both partners actively participate in the dynamics of their shared life. This desire for balance is rooted in a profound understanding of the challenges that arise from juggling various responsibilities, whether they be professional, familial, or personal. They hope to find someone who not only acknowledges but also values the importance of teamwork in a partnership. Such a connection would alleviate the pressure that has weighed heavily on them in the past, fostering an environment where both individuals can support each other and grow together. They dream of a partnership where responsibilities are shared, allowing for a more enjoyable and fulfilling connection that enhances both their lives.

It is highly likely that this person will deeply appreciate your own sense of responsibility and dedication. They will recognize in you a kindred spirit who understands the effort and commitment required to navigate the complexities of life. This mutual understanding could serve as a strong foundation for a more harmonious and supportive relationship. In such a partnership, both individuals would feel valued and empowered, knowing that they are working together towards common goals. The appreciation for each other's contributions would foster a sense of camaraderie and respect, creating a nurturing environment where both partners can flourish. Ultimately, this shared commitment to responsibility and partnership could lead to a fulfilling and lasting connection, one that transcends the challenges of the past and embraces the joys of a shared future.

💜Image 3

This individual embodies the essence of an artist, a dreamer, and a lover of beauty. Their creativity flows effortlessly, like a river of inspiration that knows no bounds. Each day is a canvas, and they approach life with the brush of imagination, painting vivid scenes that reflect their innermost thoughts and feelings. When love strikes, it becomes a catalyst for their artistic expression, often leading them to weave poetic verses that resonate with the depths of their emotions. These words, rich with passion and longing, serve as a testament to their ability to capture the ephemeral nature of love and beauty in a way that is both profound and moving.

With a vivid imagination that knows no limits, they possess the remarkable ability to manifest their desires into reality. Their mind is a kaleidoscope of colors, ideas, and dreams, each one more vibrant than the last. When you finally step into their world, it will leave them utterly astonished, as if you have unlocked a door to a realm they had only dared to dream of. Your presence will be like a breath of fresh air, invigorating and transformative, stirring the very core of their being.

Your arrival will stir a whirlwind of feelings and thoughts that have long been nestled in their mind, dormant yet yearning for expression. As a true connoisseur of beauty, they will be captivated not only by your appearance, which radiates a unique charm, but also by the profound connection they feel with you. It’s as if every brushstroke of their imagination has come to life, and this realization will sweep them off their feet, leaving them breathless in the wake of your enchanting presence.

In that moment, they will recognize that the vision they have cherished for years has materialized before them, a living embodiment of their dreams and aspirations. This enchanting encounter will ignite a spark of love that flickers brightly, compelling them to choose you as the muse they have always yearned for. The blend of admiration and affection will create a bond that feels both magical and destined, as if the universe conspired to bring you together.

Together, you will embark on a journey filled with creativity and passion, where every shared moment becomes a brushstroke on the canvas of your lives. The connection you forge will inspire them to delve deeper into their artistry, as they find new ways to express the beauty of your relationship. In your presence, they will discover a wellspring of inspiration, and their heart will sing with the melodies of love, forever grateful for the serendipity that led you to one another.

[nianeyemystic]

💕Lovergirl(boy) Astro Observations💕

These will be aspects, and placements that I've noticed in natal charts. I loooooove a real romantic, someone who yearns, is devoted & deeply feels love in all things.

Venus in Pisces 🥰

Venus in its exaltation is dreamy, romantic, and selfless in love. W this placement, you will embody unconditional love and often romanticism, and idealize your partners. The women I've seen with Venus in Pisces are literally lovers personified. They will find anyway possible to love you downnnn!

Moon in Libra💋

Libra , mm mm mm! Everyone loves a libra. With the moon here you have loves for harmony, balance, and partnership. The Moon here makes someone emotionally fulfilled by being in a loving relationship. You could feel like you're always longing for love, or wanting to be love by somebody.

Venus in the 7th House😘

The love of my life has this placement. Very ideal romantic person to be in love w . Courtship, super sweet gestures, omg & soooo charming. A real flirt too. Venus loves being in the house of partnerships,7H. Having this placement will indicates someone deeply committed to love and romantic connections, prioritizing their partner's happiness.

Neptune in the 5th House💛

This placement gives meeeee, an idealistic and almost cinematic approach to romance. Like think Movie scene, the most romantic movie you've ever seen type of romance. you might fall in love with the idea of love itself. a real lover girl/boy if you will.

Sun or Moon Conjunct Venus❤️‍🔥

Whewwww ! ✨ This aspect is almost always a loving, charming, and affectionate person. My man has this one in Capricorn & it’s so 😍🥺 he literally just loves to be so genuine & cute all the time. I melt all day long being w him. Somebody who is just all around a sweetheart, and can charm the socks off of you lol. They thrive in relationships and tend to attract love easily.

Venus in Cancer💌

Another fav of mine. This placement clearly is a nurturing, protective lover. Being in cancer, Venus will seeks emotional security and closeness in relationships. They adore being needed by their partner. Like I want to be needed by you, is a love language.

Juno in the 1st or 7th House💜

Made to be a wife, wet wife coded energy. Or husband energy. Since Juno, the asteroid of commitment and marriage, in these houses suggests someone who naturally prioritizes long-term partnerships.

Venus Trine Neptune 💞

This aspect is so damn cute to me. It creates a hopeless romantic who views love as magical and transcendent. I loveee seeing this in charts. They’re likely to idealize their partners and put their all into relationships. All or nothing type lovers.

Moon in Taurus💖

The Moon is exalted in Taurus, these natives who seeks stability, sensuality, and comfort in love. They're devoted and loyal to their partner. Grounded lover girls/boys.

Venus Conjunct Mars❤️‍🔥

Last but not least, my fav one. I have this natally & when I say love is alllll I think about. I mean it. I just love love in a sense that consumes me, it drips down my aura. You can quite literally squeeze love from outta me. Such a passionate aspect that combines love and desire. someone who puts their heart and soul into their romantic pursuits. They often have an irresistible charm and thrive on intimacy.

Do you have any of these ? What does love do to you?

@nianeyemystic

[monsieur-kazzle-dazzle]

I love all the things that we as clone fans have collectively agreed on that have absolutely no reason for us to believe them.

my favourite example of this being fox's entire character/personality

This man speaks like two lines in the show and never takes his helmet off once. yet, we know so much about him 

he has a raging caf addiction

he hates his job

he hates his boss

he hates the senate

overworked + underpaid king

he has curly hair that is slightly greying on the temples

he adores cats

he would do absolutely anything for his brothers

he hasnt slept in years

BONUS

he is in a committed romantic relationship with Senator Riyo Chuchi (who he has never interacted with ever)

[aromantic-diaries]

One main aspect of queerplatonic relationships is that they have no set definition which means that whatever they involve depends entirely on the people in it. The idea behind the concept is that it's a type of relationship that is meant to push the boundaries of what is "just" friendship and what's romantic.

Some would say that it's just a fancy word having a best friend but my take on that is that it really is just friendship the same way that being married to someone is the same as dating them in the sense that it's the same feelings and same dynamic but the relationship status implies a more serious commitment.

In my case it really is a very intense sort of friendship that often comes off as being romantic to an outsider but is 100% platonic. We are physically affectionate with eachother which has lead people to assume we were dating. Back when I was still figuring out the nuances of my aromanticism I assumed that a qpr would just be the next best thing to romance, but nowadays I don't really see it that way. For a long time I thought I wanted a romantic partner when in reality I just wanted companionship, which I ended up finding in my best friend. The whole queerplatonic thing we have going on is basically a way of getting all the aspects of romance that I wanted without any of the things that make my skin crawl and without having to feel some sort of special feeling that I know is alien to me

I think this community as a whole needs to realize that QPRs as a concept get a million times better when you stop seeing them as something you need as an alternative or substitute to romance and instead as something you choose when you meet someone you genuinely really like. They are optional and you gotta stop seeing it as romance-lite when it's really friendship-premium

[scorchedthesnake]

All There Is.

On March 7, 2011, I arrived fairly reluctantly to a dilapidated block of 27th Street and queued up for some show my friend John O’Malley was working on. All I knew was that I was going to “chase sexy dancers around a warehouse” or something like that, and it all sounded ridiculous. I couldn’t have known then that my life was about to be changed: that I was going to find the synthesis of many of my niche intellectual interests; that I’d fall in love and have my heart broken, repeatedly; that I’d gain an appreciation for an entire new wing of the arts; that I’d make friends who would reshape my heart and my life; that I’d launch into a social media venture that would secure me a major career change. What if I had known any of this would happen?

It’s incredible to me that nearly fourteen years have passed since that day. Fourteen years is longer than any romantic relationship I’ve had, longer than any job, longer than any program in a university. Longer than my time in a cult. Other than swimming, which I’ve done for 35 years, it’s the longest commitment I’ve ever had to enthusiasm for anything. And it strikes me as especially incredible because at the outset, it was likely to be a very, very temporary thing. A six-week limited engagement, to test the waters and hopefully succeed enough to fill out the first lease, so there were long-term ambitions, but by no means was radical success guaranteed. But as the Boston run had prefigured, the show indeed hit at just the right time, and just the right place, and became electric. 

Why It Worked

As we come to the end, I want to think for a bit about precisely why that happened. Over the past year, there’s been some space to debate the reasons for Sleep No More’s success versus the alleged failures, or at least disappointments, of The Burnt City; and what this might mean for the possibility of Life and Trust repeating the achievements of its predecessor. The opening of Life and Trust has also opened some debate over which entities can most appropriately lay claim to the credit: the creative partner, Punchdrunk, or the producing partner, Emursive. It’s clear that you don’t get a nearly 14 year smash hit without an extremely productive relationship, even if it is, and always has been, replete with tension and conflicts. That creative tension is probably one of the very ingredients of success, as the artistic vision must be brought into balance with a sustainably profitable operating plan.  

But to think that elements like “great choreography” or “murky narrative” or “efficient management” are really behind what made Sleep No More a phenomenon is to both drastically miss the point and bark up the wrong trees. The conditions for Sleep No More’s success, in my view, are the combination of two main elements: first, the concept of the intellectual property itself; and second, the timing of the show’s opening into a specific cultural and media environment.

When The Burnt City opened, early audiences felt like something was missing. In my review I wrote that

“desire is not a currency here. At SNM and TDM, there is a sultry suggestiveness amongst the characters and between them and the audience. At The Burnt City, everyone is too busy being dead, being robots, being dead robots or sacrificing their children to uncaring gods to have much space for suggestive glances and come-hither looks.”

It remains clear as day that the allure of Sleep No More, and its lasting value as entertainment, stems from, frankly, its sexiness. The show was unrepentantly horny from minute one – and, it has to be said: not because of its nudity. The nudity, in fact, is found in some of the least erotic sequences in the show. The atmosphere, however, is sexually charged and ready to pop: that it never really does, that the “orgy” is more violent than sexual, that the sex is mostly suggested, or suspected, is the actual magic here. 

Naturally, this has led to some real difficulties over the long run. On the one hand, audiences, well removed from just immersive enthusiasts and Shakespeare nerds, took heed of the motto “fortune favors the bold” and did some reprehensible things; management was slow to support and better protect performers from the worst of these offenses. Further, the culture of sexual expression in 2011, libertine and aggressive coming out of the preceding recession, gave way, in concert with generational change, to newer, more conservative attitudes. At launch, Sleep No More was a millennial playpen; it now lives in a Gen Z world, alongside films devoid of sex, opposition to sexual content as some sort of impediment to plot, and the anodyne world of the reiterative superhero industrial complex. 

But sexual suggestiveness is what made the whole place sizzle, whether we like to confess that or not. Sure, the worldbuilding is engrossing, the dancing frenetic, the soundscape exquisite – but this whole time, people have been going for vibes. And the vibes, especially in those crazy first few years, were laced with the possibility that sexual adventure could be right around the corner – even when, the whole time, it really wasn’t. As a byproduct of the tension between the art and the entertainment of it, it’s extremely flattering for us as fans to act like we are unmoved by our erotic imaginaries and only compelled by our allegedly higher aesthetic and critical impulses. The broad success of the show – its ability to cater to people other than us nerds – and the party culture that has accompanied it, show this to be an error. 

It’s why The Burnt City just wouldn’t last – a beautiful and meaningful show for sure, but not very fun. Not sexy. Life and Trust suffers from this a bit less, but has another problem that Sleep No More never had to contend with: it’s not cool. And this is the thing that really made it possible for Sleep No More to run and run and run: it was, and is, extremely cool.

How SNM got to be cool is the big question – it was certainly by design, but relied massively on timing, luck, and the right media mix in the launch period. First, it had novelty on its side. Very few people had ever seen anything like this (sorry Boston, you’re not people! But at least in this case, for once, you were definitely tastemakers). Second, the show relied at launch on word-of-mouth and celebrity interest, using principles that we now understand as influencer marketing. Remember, at the time: Instagram was only a few months old and not yet ubiquitous. The show cultivated a reputation as dark, sexy and mysterious, and the mask meant the famous could go along for the ride. In those early days I remember: Leonardo DiCaprio, Orlando Bloom, Paris Hilton, Matt Damon (standing in line like a normie), Elijah Wood. Lauren Ambrose walking up and inquiring about entry. It was only a matter of time until there was critical mass of celebrity exposures for it to hit headlines, and sure enough: Neil Patrick Harris’ long excited rant on Regis and Kelly marked the show’s true arrival. Smartly, there weren’t even ads. There was barely a presence on the major social media platform of the time (Facebook). This wasn’t a show for plain people, it was a show for people in the know about what was cool and unique in New York – and that mythology of scarcity and exclusivity worked wonders.

By comparison, on the day ticket sales launched for Life and Trust, there were a couple hundred immersive theater geeks lined up at Conwell Coffee House to buy them. That’s not a fault of that show – the media environment is completely different now; the Coffee House was smartly pre-launched and pitched to influencers to build interest and intrigue, but: without the novelty factor, this has all had a dull impact. Is it cool to anyone to know what “another mask show from the producers of Sleep No More” is, in the year 2025? Hardly. Whereas SNM had its wheels greased, Life and Trust has an uphill battle for cultural relevance and mindshare. At least The Burnt City had a long-cultivated community of Punchdrunk die hards in place for it, and as the creative side, a certain amount of house loyalty that Emursive now has to earn on their own.

This Fandom

The relationship of Sleep No More to its fan community, is, obviously, a topic I care a great deal about. I have never been part of a fandom before. I did not intend to create a fan community of any kind when I launched this blog, and fortunately we had other early Tumblrs that took on that role. The great beauty of the early years on Tumblr was that the platform allowed each enthusiast to create whatever kind of appreciation worked best for them. In my case, the joy in that came from curation and collection. Others showcased beautiful fan art, others wrote vivid recaps, others answered questions and cultivated community. And, importantly, Tumblr allowed everyone to do so at whatever periodicity worked best for them.

I can’t take credit for the idea of being a Sleep No More fan on Tumblr. That is owed to whoever it was that created fuckyeahsleepnomore (remember when the archetypical Tumblr was named in that format, fuckyeahwhatever? Fuckyeahpaulzivkovich, fuckyeahwillseefried, fuckyeahnatecartershair, we could have driven it into the dirt if we wanted). Some of the things I did on this blog became paradigmatic conventions of being a fan on Tumblr: pick a name with some textual significance to the show; write some stuff; repost from the tags and try to find other enthusiasts. I think the other thing that happened, significantly for the emergence of our fandom, was that my proximity to the show strengthened the notion that being an online friend to the show could gain you access to the people involved.

I came into my close relationship with the production through a mixture of early arrival, connections, a certain amount of goodwill from the blog, and, it has to be said, some gay men’s privilege. Jenny Weinbloom spotted me early as a frequent visitor. John O’Malley facilitated some introductions. My pre-Scorched essay “A Sword Between Banquo and Me” made the rounds over email. After my fourth show, I became really comfortable talking to performers, particularly after the Saturday late show when everyone gathered in Manderley until 4am. When the first round of new cast arrived, it included two people I had previous connections with: I had met William Popp at a swim practice, and my best friend had worked with Tony Bordonaro on a soap opera. We were all young gay New Yorkers and our lives already intersected substantially. So it didn’t seem so weird that we were at parties together outside of the show, occasionally hanging out, and having very casual, friendly relations.

In those early days, there were basically no boundaries, and the kind of access early fans had to the show and the performers would really stun fans who’ve come in since, say, 2016 or so. It was magical, and problematic. No one really knew how to navigate being at the epicenter of a cultural phenomenon, and the early fans were along for the ride. As dancers, the cast weren’t particularly attuned (and neither was I) to the vicissitudes of Broadway stagedoor fan culture, and to the extent that crept in slowly, began to make plain how unsustainable that chummy closeness was; more recently, conventions of East Asian fan behaviors, gifting in particular, has also come over. All of this feels alien to me, but I think the lesson there is that 2011-2013 was just an extremely abnormal time, a kind of whiplash from the sudden fame of the show (which did not, directly and personally, extend to its cast, whom the show kept extremely shrouded).

Sleep No More learned how to program for loyalty very, very late in the game. The Salons, which I’ve been to, and the roundtables, which I have not, have been really wonderful gestures toward community engagement that would have been unthinkable in the early years, and Ilana Gilovich deserves tremendous credit for championing and moderating these events. In my own personal case, I’ve had small but meaningful gestures over the years: the invitation to the MIT Media Lab experiment, some helpful assistance from the Box Office (though not here at the end!); a warm welcome back at the end of my long unemployment. But the chief benefit of being a fanboy was never anything that came from the production, it was that I made friends of performers and staff, and that gave me a currency in the early and middle years that I greatly enjoyed. It’s almost fully spent now.

Tumblr’s deletion of pornography largely killed the platform, and the latter generation of Tumblr fans gradually moved into the Second Age of their fandom like I had when this blog first concluded in 2014. Over the past year of repeated extensions, permit issues, and complicated preemptive mourning, I’ve dipped my toe into the new homestead of Sleep No More fandom, which is now on Discord. Whereas Tumblr was petty and cruel, the Discord tends to be prudish and overprotective; but these differences are generational as opposed to platform-oriented, and are the product of a fandom reacting to a different kind of relationship with the admired object than what we had in the early years. The Discord is also deliberately and explicitly communitarian, which is something else extremely alien to me, and very much the opposite of the egotism of the Tumblr era, but has been a great comfort for its participants through a year of confusion and uncertainty. For my part, I have found peace and joy in seeing the fandom grow well beyond me and develop mores that I just don’t understand. That means progress has come along.

My chief regret over all the years is the tendency of fans to be excessively deferential to the show. Far too eager to not offend, far too unwilling to criticize. It’s okay to say something isn’t good, or that you don’t like a performance. It may shock people to know this, but in my one conversation with Maxine Doyle, she herself commented that the show had not been good that night. It happens, and it’s useless to shine the apple of pretending otherwise. Nor do we get points for white-knighting for Emursive’s miserable management, or trying to rationalize terrible creative decisions like axing all the Manderley characters. Our fondness for something is well-reflected in our ability to articulate flaws, errors and poor choices, and I wish we had all been better about this all along. 

What it all meant for me

The Discord’s moderation has suggested that it will be deleted some time after the show closes; and so Tumblr’s longevity in the post-porn era is truly its most astonishing feature. This means that, barring another upheaval or change of ownership, this blog will endure on the internet as a relic of what Sleep No More was. If you go back to the beginning and read it forward, you will get the fragmentary tale of one very naive, overenthusiastic ex-academic moving to New York City and living out his own little Bildungsroman inside an immersive theater production. I am really pleased that so many of you came along for the ride, and that these confessions of my younger self – embarrassing as they often now are when I look back at them – can do a good job of telling someone why Sleep No More meant so much to so many people.

Over the past year, I’ve tried to add more detail to my personal experience of the show, and be a little more upfront about what was going on than I could be at the time. For as much as I wish I could claim to be an extremely intellectually even observer of the show and the culture around it, I feel it’s more fair to reveal that in fact, the main driver behind much of my love for this show was that I met a boy, he broke my heart, and I stuck around to let it really scorch me. None of this diminishes what the show meant; is it not the very essence of the show itself? “And then one day, he went away. And I thought I’d die. But I didn’t. And when I didn’t, I said to myself, is that all there is to love?”

Somewhere, back in the day, in an interview I know I listened to but could not possibly source, Felix Barrett said something along the lines of: every visitor to the show should fall in love at least once while inside. And I think he’s absolutely right, and I think every single fan of the show, in their heart, has done so. Hopefully not with the contours of my own experience exactly, but it’s the essence of it. I know I am compelled by powerful scoring, dramatic lighting, dynamic movement, and intelligent intertextuality. But I fall in love with a kind and gentle heart, and a generous spirit that is on a journey and eager to share it. And I encountered quite a few of these over our many years together in the hotel.

I’m also acutely aware that this blog itself played a major role in giving me the life I have today. The job I landed in 2014 was a corporate social media role – one that I landed in part by talking about the work I had done on this blog. I also talked in the interviews about my enthusiasm for the show, and how it had given me a sense of meaning, belonging, and purpose to my intellection. I talked about the struggle my year of unemployment had been with unvarnished honesty, and my manager later told me that was what had clinched it. I learned the kind of storytelling I did in that search here, on Tumblr, talking about this show.

For nearly fourteen years, thinking and writing about this show, and this mode of performance, has been the most satisfying intellectual enterprise I have ever engaged in – far better than all that grad school. I could not have known at the outset that this is where all my critical faculties would be fully engaged, or that several of my obscure interests, my fondness for Arthur Schnitzler or for Thomas Mann, would be extremely relevant. Now, as we begin to look forward, I know that this activity does not end here with the closing of the show. I hope to continue, both in remembrance of what we all experienced, and in anticipation of successor productions in this format, to think and write about this kind of immersive theater. The difference will be that the mask will be off, and I will be writing as Evan, not as Scorched the Snake. 

Saying goodbye to fourteen years of Sleep No More means saying goodbye to several full chapters of my life, and to all of my life in New York City thus far. It is saying goodbye to earlier versions of myself, to someone who was afraid to have to push his way through a crowd, afraid to talk to strangers in bars, afraid to gaze deeply into someone’s eyes, afraid to express desire. To someone not yet open to all the range of creativity that this show and its people have introduced me to. To someone who did not yet know all the brilliant and loving souls who made it all possible. But I am happy to say goodbye to those versions of me; the one I am now is so much richer, so much wiser, so much more connected to a beautiful world than I had ever been before. 

We have had such a wonderful time. The show’s closure is about to tear a giant hole in my life, my habits, and frankly, my personality. I cannot wait to figure out what I will do to fill that void, what insanely enriching and engrossing thing I will feel pulled to next. If there is one paramount lesson of this whole experience, it is that my enthusiasm for something will take me on great voyages when I trust it. We all now just have to trust it.

In just a few days, we will gather for three nights of celebration of this world we’ve made and shared together. In the early hours of Sunday, January 12, we will each exit the McKittrick Hotel for the last time, stepping out into the cold of night, but not into darkness. The streets of town, paved with stars, will glisten and glow before us as we walk away toward our next adventures, forever changed, and permanently enchanted by our friends, our loves and our losses.

“How strange it was, how sweet and strange, there was never a dream to compare.”

[etoilesombre]

Ok, I was joking with this post the other day, but it turns out I actually do want to talk about whether fucking would have fixed them.

I've seen the take a few times that what makes Silverflint work so well is that it lives in the subtext*, all tension and denial and repression, and if they fucked it would ruin the dynamic because it would be resolved.

And not to make this about me (I'm gonna) but as someone solidly at the intersection of old, slutty and queer, every time I hear this I think about my personal experiences adding fucking to intense, ambiguous relationships in stressful situations where communication about feelings was already not great.

Zero times did it fix anybody.

See: Vane and Eleanor. Also Max and Anne. Incompatibilities in goals, values and worldviews are not resolved by fucking. The work of relationships is different than the work of sex, and in some ways much much harder.

*disclaimer that shouldn't be necessary: subtextual queer relationships in media are great and valid, that is very much not what I am taking issue with.

[0alix0]

you hate solas x mythal because you think solas shouldn't have had any previous relationships in thousands of years of his life

i hate solas x mythal because it's yet another exhausting love triangle where the slaver and abuser gets a funky reincarnation and the victim gets blamed for absolutely everything and put into magical prison forever..........

we are not the same

[vaguely-concerned]

I'm guarding my heart against expecting adoribull crumbs in veilguard because I really don't believe it's going to happen. I think that might be one of the sweet slender branches on the possibility tree that they'll gently and quietly prune away from relevancy, especially since it doesn't involve a player character. dorian will almost certainly be back (hey hiii bestie how have you been? stressed out of your mind I imagine), but I can't imagine they'll let you get too granular with setting up your world state, especially since after ten years they will be expecting to have a lot of players who are new to the series. like AT MOST I can imagine a little background detail implying an amicable bittersweet breakup rather than dragging out the long distance and danger of it all as tevinter politics heat up, if you're allowed to set them both as being still alive.

all that being said I still want it so fucking badly tho fhdskjfhas

[bogkeep]

when i was a teen, i was in love with my best friend. to this day i cannot tell you with any certainty whether or not i was in love romantically or platonically. i don't know and i don't care. it's very possible there is a difference, but i never found it. i've asked many people about it and everyone has their own definition of where that line goes, none that ever applied to my own experiences. there is no satisfying, universal and objective line. i think that's good, actually. the idea that there is some shining abstract concept that's specialer than all the other concepts that can only be achieved like nirvana by some people and not others is not a comfortable idea. this is not to say that everyone has the same feelings and experiences, absolutely not - but we categorize our experiences within the contexts we exist in. or maybe that's just word salad.

i know that - at the time, i knew i was deeply connected to this other person and kept thinking about her all the time and we talked about wanting to be close friends for our whole lives and wrote poetry together about our soulmateness and we made mutual friends feel like a third wheel. i knew i had no desire to kiss her or take her on dates, and she crushed on some boy at summer camp, but the connection between us was mutual and explicit. if the concept of a queerplatonic relationship had been available to us at the time, maybe we would've recognized it as such. i just knew that what i was feeling didn't match up at all with what i've been told 'being in love' was supposed to be like - especially because, at the time, Being In Love also included sexual attraction. we had just cracked open the 2010's and asexuality was a punchline and a joke.

i know that - during the time i was made to feel ashamed of my aroace identity and the narrative was that i'm actually just repressing my TRUE queer identity, i reframed my memories - i had obviously been in love with my friend Romantically. i was a Real Gay. i was Valid. I Was Sapphic Actually. you can't kick me out of the parade if i had pined for my best friend as a teen!!!!

i know that - once i reclaimed the pride in myself, i reframed the memories again: i had obviously been in love with my friend Platonically, because otherwise i would've been a traitor to the good name of aromanticism. if i knew what it was like to have a crush i would contradict myself. who am i to write about romantic love as if i know? what was i doing at the devil's sacrament?

maybe it is a mystery. maybe i don't know shit. it's hard, actually, to know anything at all when the way my strange brain filters emotions through my body reads so different to the user manual. how can anyone stand to pine for another when it's all anxiety, all day? "butterflies"???? really????? how am i supposed to know anything for sure when my brain's favourite hobby is to pick thoughts apart and run them through the distortion machine on repeat, on repeat, on repeat? i don't know if i've ever loved anyone at all, now that i think about it. maybe i'm an empty shell of a human and everything i do is an act of puppetry and wishful thinking.

i just gotta trust that the love is there, in some form or another. even when i can't reach for it and confirm its existence - let alone deduce a detailed taxonomy. what do you even need that for.

[28confusedthoughts]

OP, what's stopping you from shipping any other ship of any fandom that you don't currently ship? I'm assuming your answer would be that you just don't see it, which is totally valid. And so, believe it or not, some people just don't see cas and dean's relationship as being even remotely romantic.

Not even going into the fact that dean is spoken for in canon, that he would never consider entering into a committed romantic relationship when sam is around.. Even if we take dean's obsession with his brother out of the equation, there's nothing to direct my attention to destiel being a possible pairing to ship.

For one, dean literally has zero chemistry with castiel. Many of the so called destiel moments that hellers claim are sexual tension or whatever between cas and dean are just castiel not understanding the human world and personal boundaries, and Dean being upset about it. SO ROMANTIC (sacrasm).

And then there's the fact that castiel betrayed the brothers. Everyone's so quick to hold the ruby fiasco against sam till the end of times, but when it comes to castiel (who paired up with a demon, kept lying to dean, and unknowingly caused a devastating event that resulted in the deaths of many many people.. sounds familiar?) it's "he had good intentions/ didn't know any better" etc etc and all is forgiven. Well not by me it's not! I never liked castiel's character, but I grew to dislike him more and more after every season. And as a personal principle, I do not ship a character I actively dislike with ANY of the other characters, let alone one of the main characters of the show.

And obviously I can't not mention the off putting behaviour many hellers display. They are obnoxious and demanding, they think their ship is the superior ship and anyone who doesn't ship it must be dumb or homophobic. I hope I don't have to tell you how crazy that is and why I wouldn't want to be associated with people like that...

Additionally, I can't stand misha and hate seeing his face on my screen. Wouldn't make sense for me to turn around and ship a pairing half of which is misha's face clad in a trench coat, would it? :)

Non Destiel Shippers, what stops you from shipping them?

What are the reasons you don't ship them? Im just curious, not looking for a fight.

[x-snickersnap-x]

something something trans alpha-to-omega ghost x omega soap

[kindaasrikal]

Love deeply platonic relationships where two individuals are practically platonic soulmates who care for each other deeply and have changed each other’s life significantly.

Hate it when the fandom sees is as romantic tho.

[sciderman]

You said that if you dated Peter or Wade it would make you miserable. Which– Okay fair, Wade does have a history of purposely hurting the people he loves.

But what about Peter? Why do you think dating him would make you miserable?

because I’ll always know I had the option to climb a 6’8 cyborg and I passed that up for a sweaty little twunk that I perpetually have to remind to bathe (sorry peter)

[mars-ipan]

i think i’m one ‘o them relationship anarchy enjoyers