#and being (semi) active in one fandom is already a lot

[lifetrimmed]

My gift for svedka69 on twt from the nukani exchange event (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

I've given the pic to my giftee in the server but forgot to post it here oops

Their outfits gave me a headache ngl LOL

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey there sex witch! This one might be a little bit out of your wheelhouse, but I don't really have anyone else to ask 😅 and this seems mostly relevant to what you talk about.

So recently I (a very shy person for a long time) have gotten pretty active in some fandom discord communities, and I've been making a ton of friends. Which is great because I used to have social anxiety to the point where I could barely talk to people, especially online. The problem is that my new friends are all VERY horny, all the time. Which, great for them, I don't really feel the same way. They're also very interested in ERP and other varieties of e-sex and often ask if I want to join. I really don't, but it's fine that they're into that. One guy in particular is really starting to freak me out though. He's a semi-popular creator and a mod on one of the servers. He's becoming a pretty good friend of mine and I play online games with him and others a bunch. He, like the rest of the crowd, is also very horny all the time. He often makes sexual comments about me, sometimes very graphic ones. Stuff like telling me to take my clothes off IRL while on call with him or saying stuff like "I want to fuck you until you cry" or just dming me asking if I want to have sex with him. Sometimes he notices that his comments make me uncomfortable and he did reach out to sincerely apologize for it once, but he hasn't changed his behavior a whole lot.

The big thing that worries me about him is the fact that he's 28. I'm 18, just graduated high school. He knows this about me. He does a very good job of keeping his server 18+ and would never make a sexual comment about a minor, but is still comfortable doing sexual things with people ten years younger than him. Another thing is that even though I've told him I already have a boyfriend, he assumes I'm in an open relationship even though I never told him I was. My boyfriend also says this guy kinda freaks him out and that he's a little worried about me.

I know that age gaps between older people can be perfectly healthy and problems arising from them vary pretty heavily from person to person, but I'm not entirely sure if this is ok or not. This guy doesn't want to hurt anyone. Have I probably just not properly expressed my boundaries with him? It's not like he's targeting me or anything, he acts this way with basically everyone. I'm torn on what to do, he's still my friend and I like him otherwise. Should I just keep laughing it off? I am uncomfortable but I guess it's not a huge deal to me. Should I stop talking to this guy?? Help??

🐟🐟 So I can find this quickly if/when you answer it

hi 🐟🐟,

this guy fucking sucks and needs to be banned from interacting with maybe anyone until he learns what "no" means. literally every individual thing you've described him doing would be alarming in it's own, but altogether this man is a walking collection of red flags. this is not your friend and this is not a guy who cares about your boundaries or well-being; this is a man using his fandom clout to sexually harass you (and likely others). him being ten years older than you isn't even really the biggest issue here; all of this would be shithead behavior even if you were exactly the same age.

get out of there, double fish.

[caribbean1989]

Stage Fright - a Baby Lasagna fanfiction

Who: Marko Purisic / Baby Lasagna Request: maybe smt where you work for esc and marko has a panic attack before going on the stage and your there for him calming him down and stuff. just angsty with lots of comfort. Requested by: anonymous. Word count: 2010 Warnings: contains descriptions of panic attack / anxiety / stage fright. Lots of angst, but also some comfort 😇

A/N: I usually write footballer imagines and fandom whump, so writing something like this is quite new to me. Hope you'll like it, let me know what you think of it 😇 If you want me to write more like this, you can always make a request through my Asks 😉

This story can also be found on my AO3 account, here. For more information on my Baby Lasagna fanfics, see this masterpost.

At your job working backstage at concerts and events, you were one of the people making sure everything went smoothly backstage, and that the performers had all they needed. This month you would be working at the Eurovision Song Contest. 

Today was the biggest day of all: the final.  You felt confident. Everything had been rehearsed endlessly, the semi-finals had already gone well, and you had built up a good relationship with most of the performers and their entourages. 

It was a nice group of artists this year, but one still was your personal favourite: Baby Lasagna. At first you were drawn to the Croatian candidate because of the rather unusual name, but you quickly learned he went by Marko off-stage, and was somewhat different from the other participants. He was a flamboyant personality on-stage, which proved to be the complete opposite of how his personality was off-stage. 

You didn’t need long to see Marko was actually rather shy, could be very insecure, and was humble and polite. There was a cheeky side to him as well once you got to know him better. You liked that about him, and, without actively trying to, you already formed a rather close friendship with him in only this short time of working together. 

That was why you immediately knew something was wrong when you found Marko sitting alone on the day of the final, huddled away from everything and everyone.  He sat amongst crates of sound equipment, on the floor, in a dark corner of the backstage maze, hugging his knees. His hands were clamped so tightly around his legs that his fingers had turned white, and he trembled like a leaf in the wind.  Marko had chosen a spot far from the foot traffic from and to the stage, hidden even from his own entourage, and it was a small miracle that you stumbled upon him like you had. 

"Marko?" You lowered yourself onto your haunches in front of him, but mindful to keep enough distance between yourselves so not to frighten him or make him feel more uncomfortable.

He looked disheveled, only vaguely aware of his surroundings, and surely not in control of his emotions.  In this moment he was not the extroverted Baby Lasagna, he was introverted Marko. The eccentric costume he wore on stage was replaced by regular jeans and a black hoodie. The make-up wasn’t applied yet, which might be a good thing, because you saw the tears on his face. The haunted look in his eyes scared you, worrying you even more about his well-being. 

Suddenly your mind went to a line from the song he was performing with here this week. 

My anxiety attacks.

Whilst Rim Tim Tagi Dim had people dancing all over the world, you couldn’t help but notice its darker meaning, too. And it clicked into place for you now. That line about anxiety wasn’t just a line. It actually held truth for Marko, and the proof of that was right in front of your eyes with him having a serious panic attack. 

"Marko?" You repeated softly.  His gaze flickered to you, but he didn’t acknowledge your presence in any other way.  "I need you to talk to me," you nudged carefully.  Marko swallowed hard. He made every effort to get himself to speak, but couldn’t. The words he meant to say got involuntarily silenced on their way to his mouth, and, finally, he just sadly shook his head. Fresh tears fell as he rested his forehead on his knees, shrinking even more into himself. 

Your heart broke for him. It was hard to believe you only met him a week and a half ago, with how much you already cared for him. 

Marko shivered in his hoodie. His breaths became even more rapid and shallow, accompanied by the occasional wheeze or whimper. He was losing more and more control over himself with every heartbeat of his racing pulse. Where first maybe only his hands had shook, there now wasn’t a muscle in his body that wasn’t shaking. He raised his head and looked up at you again, this time really seeing you. 

Marko’s lower lip trembled, and it took effort, but finally he got some words out. "Help me…" "I’m trying," you answered helplessly. You wanted nothing more than to help him, take him out of this panic attack, but you really had no idea where to begin. "Do you need me to bring someone from your team over?" "No!" Marko nearly jumped a foot into the air at the mere idea of that. "They don’t need to see me like this. I’m a mess, I…" "Calm down, calm down," you tried to ease. "We can do this. You and I, we can get you through this."

Having suffered from panic attacks yourself, you suddenly remembered what your sister used to do for you to get you to calm down. "Marko." You got his attention. "I want to try something to help you calm down. Are you okay with me touching you?" He still was in the height of his panic attack, with fear wild in his eyes, but he still nodded his head. He wasn’t sure what you had in mind, but he trusted you.

You scooted closer to him, fully sitting down on the floor by his side. Marko trembled heavier than ever and he was truly hyperventilating now. Tears sparkled in his eyes, but he gave in to you. He wanted for you to offer comfort and take him out of this anxiety. 

"Close your eyes," you said softly.  Marko hesitated for just a second, but slowly closed his eyes. He didn’t know you for that long, yet you felt secure and safe to him. "Whenever you’re no longer comfortable with anything I’m doing, you need to tell me," you insisted, "and I’ll stop immediately." Marko gave you a strained nod, but he surrendered to you. 

You moved slowly, making sure not to make any unexpected movements which would cause Marko any more fright.  You placed one of your hands flat on his chest. Only now you realised how heavy this panic attack actually was for him. His chest heaved and trembled under your hand, and now that you were closer to him, you heard the whimpers that were hidden in the wheezes of his breathing.  With your other hand you picked up his wrist, gently pressing two fingers against the pulse point. As you had expected, his heart was racing. 

"I need you to focus on my hand on your chest." You kept your voice as calm and serene as possible. Marko dipped his head once, eyes still firmly pressed shut.  "Whenever I press into your chest, I need you to breathe in through your nose, and try and press my hand away with your chest," you instructed, "when I release the pressure, you exhale slowly through your mouth." Marko wanted to speak, show you he had understood, but he found his words once again stolen from him by the panic attack. Instead, he dipped his head once again, but it was all the confirmation you needed. 

You slowly and gently pressed the palm of your hand a little firmer into his chest.  Marko took a shaky breath. He did his best to get his lungs to fill properly and get his chest to give counter-pressure against your hand, but couldn’t quite manage.  "It’s alright," you eased him, "take your time. Just focus on the rhythm of the pressure of my hand and try to breathe with that." You felt how Marko was really trying to, but also how he wasn’t succeeding yet. His inhales were broken by shudders, and his exhales disrupted by sudden and involuntary gulps.  "That’s it," you encouraged anyway, "easy does it."

Your hand never left his chest as you gently applied pressure and released it, with Marko doing his utmost best to get his breathing to fall in sync with it. You spoke soft encouragements, yet the silent moments in between were filled with Marko’s quiet whimpers.�� It didn’t matter to you how long it would take, you would help Marko through this. 

---

Eventually, you sat with Marko like that for well over 30 minutes. There was no reason to rush anything. Soundchecks for the grand finale of tonight wouldn’t be starting for another few hours, so you gave him all the time he needed to pull himself out of this panic attack.

Marko’s pulse had returned to a regular, calm rhythm, as had his breathing. His trembling had subsided, but he sat beside you looking worn out from everything he had just gone through. 

You gently let your hand fall away from Marko’s chest for the first time again. You kept a close eye on him, but he was able to keep his breaths calm by himself now. "Open your eyes," you said softly. Marko slowly did so. Even though the area where you sat was dimly lit, he still squinted at the light. He ran slightly trembling fingers through his silvery hair, before he finally looked up at you sitting next to him. 

"I’m sorry about that." Marko sounded tired. "No need to apologise." You shook your head. "May I ask what happened?" "This happened." Marko chuckled wryly, motioning his hands to the area around you. "I’ve never performed at an event of this magnitude before. And… well, my stage fright took the better of me, I guess. It does that sometimes."

The airiness with which he spoke of his stage fright was pitiful, almost like it was the most common thing in the world for him. "But it doesn’t often get this bad, I reckon," you said sympathetically.  "No." Marko sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair once more. "It doesn’t usually lead to a full-blown panic attack, and certainly not like this one, but, apparently, big stages lead to big anxiety." A dark chuckle followed. "That’s not even remotely funny," you scoffed. Marko gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I’m used to it by now."

He shifted his body, grunting softly as he stretched his cramped legs out in front of him. He leaned his head back against one of the crates behind him and glanced up at the ceiling for a moment. 

"But what you did really helped me." He spoke after a few seconds of silence. "I’m not quite sure I would have gotten through this one on my own, so I’m really grateful." You shrugged. "I’ve got a bit of experience with panic attacks as well, I’m afraid. So I know how bad they can get."

Marko’s gaze slowly shifted back to you. "Yourself or helping someone deal with it?" "Myself, unfortunately." You sat back into a more comfortable position, too. "Some events in life leave more scars than you can imagine," you added darkly.  "I’m sorry." Marko shortly rested a hand on your arm in support.  "What I just did with you, my sister used to do that for me whenever my anxiety flared up," you explained, "it always helped me through it, so…" You let your voice trail off.  "Well, tell her it’s a good technique." Marko winked lazily. "And I’m glad you’re the one who found me just now. Thank you." The sincere thankfulness was in his voice and in every fibre of his being. 

The two of you talked for a while longer, before Marko slowly hoisted himself back onto his feet. He looked steady again, ready to go, and a glimpse of the extroverted Baby Lasagna shone through the cracks again. 

"Will you be alright?" You stood back up, too.  "Yes." Marko nodded confidently. "I know it sounds strange, especially after what you’ve seen just now, but it feels like I needed to get this out of my system in order to be ready for tonight." You chuckled, glad to see the sparkle of joy back in his eyes, instead of the sparkle of tears and panic. "Come see me if anything threatens to overwhelm you again." Marko nodded gratefully. "I sure will."

[yume-x-hanabi]

Life update

Posted on DW, but I figured I could update this blog as well now that I'm semi-getting back into social media...

I've sorta fallen off from the fandom and social media space, because life has been a lot these past few years. To sum up briefly:

- I made a couple of posts about it last year, but I bought an apartment in a new building (construction wasn't finished at the time). Running left and right to choose stuff such as flooring etc, getting things organized on the paperwork side (banks, notaries...), plus the move itself, took me a lot of time and energy. I've been living here full time for 10 months now though, and it's been great. Love the building (even tho it's not entirely finished orz), love the neighbourhood, and it's so great to have your own place. Missy seems at ease here, too, which is important. The balconies' guardrails are huge glass panes that go all the way to the floor with no gap, so that means I can let her out without supervision without fear of her falling/jumping off.

- Work, the main culprit for my withdrawal from fandom. I think I mentioned before that I took on more admin tasks a couple years ago, and while I enjoy the actual work when I get to it, it's a huge huge drain to my mental energy, esp when combined with everything else (class prep, exams, meetings etc). So it's pretty much killed my drive, and my already bad work-life balance just became worse and worse. Like, it's not that I don't have free time (perks of teaching = lots of holidays), but when I do I'm so mentally exhausted that I was pretty much only able to play mindless games like Solitaire or Civilization VI (which became like an addiction lol) or doomscroll on twitter or reddit. I pretty much lost my ability to engage with hobbies, except for the ones below, and I'm trying really really hard to come back and make it stick this time around.

- Speaking of hobbies though, I've gotten really into classical music and started attending concerts regularly. By perfect coincidence, my new place is at a 2-minute walk from my city's philharmonic hall, and I've been enjoying the heck out of that perk. My city's orchestra is really good, and their program so varied. When it was time to choose my subscription for next season, it was harder to choose which concerts not to attend (but a choice had to be made ;v;). Also I'm super stoked because they're playing my favorite symphony next year, I didn't expect to be able to hear it live so soon!

I think this really saved my mental health this year. Like, it's a bit hard to explain, but there's something really unique and relaxing about the atmosphere there. It's a bit intimidating at first, and I was really self-conscious about not making noise at the beginning, but I've gotten used to it now. Mostly, I think it helped me rediscover what it is to just sit down and enjoy the moment, without constantly looking for stimulation to my already overstimulated mind (silly aside, but before that I'd sorta lost the ability to binge a series without mindlessly checking my phone in the middle of episodes. Being "forced" to keep my phone away for the duration of a concert has really helped me recover my attention span). I think it helps my mind rest, if that makes sense? Also there's nothing comparable to listening to the music live in a hall with great acoustics x3

I followed the Queen Elisabeth Competition closely this year, live for a few finals performances when possible, the rest on TV, and it was really awesome. I think in four years I'll get the subscription for the whole finals week :p

- Relatedly, I've also started taking violin lessons. I'd always wanted to learn an instrument since I was a child (loved those mandatory recorder classes we had at school lol), but it never happened (partly because I was too passive as a child to actively ask for it, partly because my parents probably didn't want to have their eardrums massacred, so didn't offer it (wouldn't have said no if I'd asked, but as I said I wasn't good at asking back then)). It took me a while to actually make the jump, because I thought I'm too old now and there's no point, but I finally did with some encouragements from friends and colleagues and I'm really glad I did. Violin is... hard lol. I sound absolutely terrible. But it's also really fun? Like I feel like I'll never be good, but also I've made so much progress since I started. I don't have much time to practice (I aim at at least 10min a day these days, which isn't a lot, but it's better than nothing and it's more important to do it a little regularly than a lot once in a while). I'm really looking forward to the day I'll be able to attempt to play Xillia songs 😄 Also I really love my teacher<3

- Lastly, niece is 3 now and so fun to interact with. It's not always easy, she's very stubborn and willful, but she's also really sweet and funny. Love her ❤️ And she's just got a little sister! who's a very chill newborn, so different from niece#1 lol. I can't wait to see them play together when they're a little bit older.

Anyway, that's pretty much the main things that have been going on the past couple of years. Like I said I'm not sure I can be totally back, I think it's gonna take a lot of adjustment, but this time I really don't want to let another year pass by like that. I'm really gonna try hard to have better balance this time!

[lightgriffinsect]

for the ask game, ❤️ and 💚

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

I really don't want to go the generic route and say BF and GF because we all know how ooc mods make them already...but other than them tbh I'm not sure. I wouldn't say most portrayals are egregious but...

Perhaps Senpai? I like to think DDTO+ and Mind Games did a good job portraying him as the pretentious self-absorbed semi-incel he is in canon (affectionate) but other than that we don't see a lot of good content that keeps him in character. (He's not just selfish, he's actively malicious and volatile.) Or maybe I'm just out of touch with the fandom lmao

Also Void. lol. for similar reasons as Senpai, I feel like a lot of portrayals try to make him more sympathetic, which isn't bad in itself! I like seeing the reasoning behind this kind of character's actions. Void definitely has issues that he's struggling with and there are times when his frustration with this is justified. But some fics/comics/etc wind up making Void much nicer or more empathetic than he really is, which l don't like. That man does not have an ounce of compassion in his body please stop- /lh

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Psychic is the one basing his entire identity around serving the Dearests, not me lol. he does have other interests but he doesn't bring them up often if they don't have anything to do with his primary commitment. It's part of his character to prioritize his job first. This is also why most Psychic ships wouldn't work. (this isn't necessarily something i see ppl say but i feel like that might be a misconception lmao)

Agoti sucks and he's a brat but he does overthink it afterwards. He's both too impulsive to think his actions through and too anxious not to dwell on every one. I feel like we don't get to see much of Agoti's perspective on his own behavior and how he rationalizes it to himself. It's a somewhat difficult balance to strike but Agoti is definitely simultaneously anxious and extroverted, thoughtless and deliberate. It's the trauma, baby 🔥

Also, enough with the Agoti is bad at science allegations. He very much strikes me as a science nerd while Aldryx is better at business and economics. And between Agoti and Tabi, Tabi is better at robotics and Agoti is good at biology and chemistry.

I also think people don't examine the dynamic of Agoti and Aldryx being intelligent in different ways enough. They're both such well-rounded characters that each have a unique but overlapping set of skills and I think that could be explored so much deeper than it is now. Agoti is sharp, clever, and flexible. Aldryx is practical, articulate, and academically smart. I want to see more people discuss and develop those parts of their characters PLEASE aurhdifnd

[rickwithtits]

"Hm... seems this type of research might actually prove useful."

"I was expecting y-you lot to be insufferable, irritating, useless dickwa-augh-ads that I c-could easily disregard but... looks like I surprised myself." She sighs and lets go of the holographic dimensional file in her hand, and it flies right back into place in the shifting spiral behind her. "I guess that means setting this place up to be more... permanent."

"To the non-Ricks, be grateful I let you agh-sk me questions, just know I only answer the ones I want to. Y-you're lucky I'm a fairly straightforward woman, at least compared t-to some of my male counterparts."

"T-to the Ricks on here, it's come to my attention that my scientific research has come off as 'nosy' and 'gossipy', so... I guess I should explain myself more."

"My research isn't just a hobby, or taking note of which Ricks are hooking up with each other; it's inherently linked to my studies of The Central F-Finite Curve. When Evil Morty punched a hole through it, it altered the integrity of the logarithmic parameters for the infinity filter of The CFC, allowing f-for discontinuous dimensions to filter in until it was f-fixed. I'm analyzing those discontinuities, and the rest of The Curve, f-for my safety and yours. You're welcome."

"I'm already monitoring you, what's a f-few questions? This isn't even my t-top priority and besides, it's not like I'm hiding anymore."

"I'm not your f-friend just because you're a Rick. ... but if you wanted to grab some drinks at Blips n Chitz sometime or need help with something I c-could try to find some t-time."

[[ooc under cut]]

!!MINORS DNI!!

• Due to Riq's sometimes rated-R nature she's not safe for minors. HOWEVER I might follow you from here because this blog is where I keep track of the R&M RP, but that is not permission to interact. I consider interaction any direct links between this blog and another blog through reblogs or asks.

• 18+ Topics: Violence/gore, substance abuse, emotional abuse, child abuse, smut. I'll tag anything with these things #18+, anything sexual will be tagged #spicy.

• #lore tag for mini-fics following her and her family. #interactive for rp starters, #past-interactive for closed rp starters. #answered for my asks that I've answered, #my asks for asks I've sent other rp blogs. #interactions for what it sounds like.

• Riq is like a jawbreaker, don't let her harsh exterior keep you from poking and prodding, she's got layers. She may act like C-137 on the outside but on the inside she's more like J-19Z7 (with more murdery and self-destructive tendencies but still) as she's directly between them in The Curve.

• Mun is 21+ if that wasn't obvious already. My fandom blog is rickle-n-mort-enthusiast, my main is maladaptive-escapism.

• I write like I'm taking everything seriously but that's just cos I'm shit at writing humor and she's so autistic she takes everything literally, by all means mess with her I love chaos and silliness. I prefer semi-lit to literate but I mirror for the most part. More active in the discord as I'm more used to discord than tumblr.

• Sorry if I don't reply right away I overthink all my responses and I'm quite busy, thank you for being patient <3

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[lord-aldhelm]

The Future of this Blog

In light of recent developments, I felt compelled to write this post. As this is something that actually affects me directly and personally, I felt the need to discuss it. You all can agree with me or disagree with me; this is my own opinion and decision.

It is my personal and biased opinion that actors, celebrities, and entertainers should steer clear of fandom spaces online. Them infiltrating these spaces is problematic in many ways, but first and foremost it creates unnecessary tension and anxiety, both for the fans and for the actor. When you know for certain that the actor is watching everything you do, you no longer have a safe space in which to express yourself freely and without shame. Fandom spaces can be toxic enough as it is, without also fearing upsetting or disturbing the very actors whose work you are discussing.

Unless the actors in question get "really cool about a lot of things really fast" it will always backfire. I know there are some celebrity accounts right here on Tumblr, and they have had varying levels of success. I also know that Jeppe is a frequent flyer on The Last Kingdom subreddit and to my knowledge he is very respectful of the fans there and has not caused any problems. But that is the exception, not the rule.

I will say that I have done a piss poor job of keeping my fandom and my personal and professional stuff separated. (Apparently I like to shit where I eat, lol.) That is my own fault really. But mostly I don't really care if anyone knows who I really am, because everything in my life bleeds together. I am not beholden to anyone besides myself, so no one will care what kind of weird stuff I am into. Other people have their reasons for staying anonymous and keeping their personal stuff strictly separated from their fandom stuff and that is understandable and respected.

We all know, as bloggers, that the stuff we post in here is public. There is no illusion of privacy here. Even if you have your blog settings set up so that it does not appear in Google search, or excluded from Tumblr search, or that only logged in accounts can view your profile, people can and will find your blog and view it. My blogs all are fully public, viewable by anyone, and included in both searches. I also have no illusion of privacy. However, I think there is an unspoken understanding that your blog is your "safe space", and should be respected as such. Just like the various fanfic sites are also safe spaces (but also public) where you can create freely and openly.

There is a saying "Don't post anything online you would not want your mother/daughter/etc to see". And that is probably true on Facebook or Instagram, where you family is probably already following you and will see what you post. Here the rules don't apply. If everyone here only posted stuff that was uncontroversial, tame, watered down, and sterile, this place would be boring as hell. This *is* the gay autism site after all. There are a lot of daydreaming artistic types who feel this is the only place where they are truly free to be themselves. To share their experiences and write about things that are dear to them, whether that is identifying mushroom species or writing deranged smut. (no judgement lmao)

With all of this being said, I will make it very clear that I WILL NOT be shutting this blog down!! I am not ashamed of anything that I have posted or will post in the future. I will NOT be censoring myself, and I WILL NOT be made to feel guilty about ANYTHING I say on here. I am generally very respectful and honestly mostly pretty tame (especially compared to some of y'all) but even if I have an unhinged rant or semi-feral moment in the tags I do not want to feel like I have to "dial it down" just because "someone" might see it and judge me.

I am not actively seeking to broadcast and get unwanted attention on this blog. But in the same token I will not try to hide anything.

This blog is MY SAFE SPACE. It is my home. I will continue to draw my beautiful artwork, write my little stories, share my thoughts and feelings, post my memes and edits, and interact with my mutuals and friends on here because it brings me great joy and NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE will take this away from me!!

This fandom has brought me a lot of joy and opened me up to new experiences, allowed me to be myself and connected me with some amazing people from all over the world. It has become a very important part of my daily life, and enriched me in ways I never could have imagined. I never want to feel like I have to go back to hiding away parts of myself out of fear or humiliation.

I am so damn tired of feeling like an outcast. I have finally found a place where I feel like I somewhat belong and I will not be chased out.

/rant

[non-un-topo]

WHY did you have to give a presentation about trans fanfiction at your job? not judging or anything, i'm actually kinda jealous

Okay rant incoming sdfggfds. I work at a tiny feminist library, and my supervisor signed me up for a Zoom lecture. I'm not gonna lie, I wanted to jump into a black hole I was so embarrassed. Only because my coworkers know nothing about fanfic or fandom and I'm the token trans, and the prof giving the presentation talked VERY in-depth for an hour about mpreg and omegaverse, and how this type of fanfic is technically activism because in them the male body is "open and penetrable." She mentioned Sherlock and Supernatural, too. Like, picture a fandom girlie just having fun and doing her thing, but make it Very Academic(tm).

BUT THE JOKE IS ON ME because there was not one single thing this (cis, mind you) woman said that I did not know. There were things the guests asked her about that she didn't know. Woman is making a career writing about trans headcanons and tee hee yaoi femboys but she had never heard about the operatic castrato or apparently read any relevant trans literature. I asked for book recommendations for the library and she struggled a lot before giving me a graphic novel I already own ("Genderqueer"), "Heartstopper," and "I am Jazz." I remember when Jazz Jennings came OUT, bro. But before all that, her first response was to walk me through HOW TO USE AO3. I obviously did not tell her I'm very familiar with the website and am an author on it. I think she thought I was asking because I wanted to do research on fanfiction or something.

Her name is Jennifer Duggan, if you want to read some of her publicized work on fanfic. It is interesting that this is being researched in academia now, I will say. She had some interesting and meaningful things to say about how trans fanfic breaks the barriers between cis and trans readers, how it can foster community between us, how it counts as activism (think, against J.K. Rowling), how it depicts trans bodies as beautiful and lovable, unlike most mainstream media depictions of trans stories, and she addressed how fandoms need to be more inclusive to QPOC and transnational stories.

Like I don't want to self-deprecate or make anyone else feel bad, but think about how embarrassing this is lol. I'm the only trans person in my workplace and in my classes --- despite being in gender studies, I know. There aren't that many of us after all ---, and seemingly the only person who knows anything about fandom. I will now have to talk about this presentation as part of my routine in-class presentation advertising the library. Why? I don't fucking know. We can't have fanfiction at the library. I don't talk about my online life outside of the computer, and no one knows that I'm not only a semi-known ao3 author, but that I write trans fanfiction LMAO. It's rather private, and I'm worried I'm becoming the spokesperson for all trans issues at my work and school. But also, screw it. I don't hate that. This lecture pretty much convinced me I have to go to grad school and fight some of these scholars though, so shiiiit.

[desultory-novice]

Who, in the notable Kirby cast, do you think would be willing to become Susie's friend? Aside from Kirby himself of course, as I had already asked about Susie/Kirby interactions previously, so this time this is about how she may be with others!

The rest of the wave 3 dream friends would be good options, as I believe they've all got various things in common with Susie that they'd be able to connect with her about.

I also nominate ChuChu for a friend choice. I had indeed seen the "It's Kirby Time!" stuff where there's one image that has both ChuChu and Susie in it. Two pink girls becoming friends would be totally legit. Susie could even treat ChuChu like a "little sister friend" for when she comes by Popstar.

It's probably the fact that she gives off major lesbi... girl power energy, but I think Susie would work especially well with any of the girls and femme-leaning members of the Kirby main cast!

Susie and Chuchu, as you said, is already implied by the extra material and going by Chuchu's personality in DL3, it's not easy to see why they'd like each other! They both like pretty things, having a good time, and maintaining their own space. They're both a little stubborn, and they're both into girls talk!

Susie and Adeleine is another potential friendship I'm fond of - Ado would probably enjoy having a big sister figure and I'm sure Susie has a lot of stories to share. Some horrifying, considering her childhood growing up in Another Dimension! XD

I don't know if Susie and Ribbon would get along quite as well, depends on how Susie takes to entirely magical beings like fairies. ("I don't believe in occult nonsense!" Susie channeling Seto Kaiba.) But I get the feeling if she ju~st might see her as more of a "curiosity" and that might get in the way of their becoming really close on Ribbon's side as she doesn't strike me someone who'd like that?

(Though they could still bond over their love of pink.)

Despite what I said about fairies, I could see her getting along decently with Elline?! Mostly because Elline's attitude just seems more in line with Susie's. And something about Seventopia's color fairy being something of a living children's book would probably resonate with the woman who lost her childhood. (It would be funny to see Susie and Claycia start talking about their favorite artworks only to stir each other up into getting kind of snobby about art while the others just groan and wait for it to be over.)

Susie and the trio of Franny, Berge, and Zan is practically a given. Susie has a semi-canonical rivalry with Fran over their looks but there's no reason it can't be a friendly one. Susie and Zan could share their various traumas and their both being workaholics.

Susie and Berge might seem like the pair with the least in common, but, paying homage to the semi-common fandom idea of the Mage Sisters all being gaming addicts, I can see totally Susie right there with them on the couch, getting incredibly competitive and shouting into her headset mic in a way that makes Berge burst into giggles!

-

Stepping away from the girl side of things, I also like the idea of a strange friendship forming being Susie and Daroach! 

Daroach is a self-proclaimed ladie's man and Susie is very proud of her looks. (Both narcissists, lol! :cough:) Daroach has a lot in common with Meta Knight - intelligent, suave, leader of men, has an airship - and we know that the masked swordsman caught Susie's interest at first glance. Susie, meanwhile, assuming she hasn't been sued for everything she's worth, possesses a lot of money/capital.

They're both off-worlders and capable of interplanetary travel, which should overcome any initial biases she might have about him being "backwards" or too low-tech. Another thing they've got in common is she and Daroach are both involved in undercover activities!

She's an industrial spy; he's a phantom thief! 

...This is sounding like I'm writing propanda for a potential ship. ^^; Then again, they both have some bi vibes...! Mainly with Meta Knight. Hmm... Maybe they're actually just Meta Knight-sexual?! In which case, there's something else they have in common! XD

Ooh, this reminds me, I SWEAR I had a really good ask in my inbox talking about Daroach and Susie along the lines of comparing them for their criminal activities but when I went looking for it, I couldn't find it! My sister tells me Tumblr eats messages all the time tho. Still a shame. I was looking forward to answering that one. Anyway! Canonically attractive criminals! They should be pals!!

[bluejaysandblackbats]

You're Just Like Quicksand

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Batman Beyond

Summary: Jason Todd is ready to go into semi-retirement after fifteen years working with troubled youth, but one case in particular forces him to confront the sins of his youth and painful memories from his past. (TW // Character Self Harm Mention in this chapter)

Chapters: 11/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Terry McGinnis, Warren McGinnis, Mary McGinnis, Matt McGinnis, Bruce Wayne, Original Character(s)

Relationship(s): TBA

Additional Tags: Protective Jason Todd, Good Sibling Jason Todd, Retired Jason Todd, Multiple POV, Hurt/Comfort, Parent-Child Relationships, Canon Divergent AU, Angst, Mourning Jason Todd

Chapter Eleven: Second Chances (Jason Todd's POV)

Terry’s a great kid, but I couldn’t relax without watching them from my phone during the meeting. The mayor was as stressed as most people would imagine the mayor of Gotham to be. He kept clearing his throat and asking me if I needed something. “So, you want at-risk teens partnering with politicians and top executives and—.” 

“What’s wrong with that? Most executives I know have the money and resources to make their criminal histories and academic failings disappear. These kids don’t bother trying because they understand it’s not what you know it’s who you know. The least we can do to clean up this city is to ensure these kids get to know people willing to be their bridge to a better life,” I interrupted. The mayor was a pushover, and he barely knew politics. He got stuck being mayor of Gotham because no one else wanted the headache. I knew if I made him look like a classist prick on camera, he’d fold. “I came from nothing. If it hadn’t been for my father adopting me, I don’t know where I’d be today.”

I glanced at my phone and smiled at Terry cradling Avery-Marie while she sucked her thumb. “I’ve already lined up individuals interested in letting kids shadow them… And it isn’t just top execs and politicians. There are blue-collar positions as well as white. I want them to cycle through all sorts of careers. Low-income and at-risk kids deserve to know they have options no matter where they come from. I’ve known people who came from nothing, went to community colleges, and worked their way up. I handpicked individuals that these kids could relate to. I’m meticulous and active in my business, so I’d drop in to supervise… It’s all in the plans I sent you. Did you have a chance to read through?” I knew he didn’t. He skimmed it at best. “My programs have a high success rate. Literacy and graduation rates are up. We’re funding therapy, tattoo removal, gas detoxing, and—.” 

“What about your more dangerous clients?” the mayor asked. I swallowed hard. I knew he wanted to allude to the incident... And it triggered me. It was my greatest shame. I had tunnel vision, and I couldn’t hear anything outside of my children screaming. My assistant touched my shoulder. 

“Right,” I replied, “I’ve since started screening which specific kids I want to be involved in the pilot program. I’ve met each child, looked at their files, and they volunteered to do a psychological screening. I believe in second chances. I believe in people. I’ve been hurt a lot in my life, but I refuse to allow that to be my excuse for turning my back on the children here. If a city shows love to its children, I guarantee that some of them will love us in return. We can’t put an end to the city’s problems, but we can minimize the causes.” I couldn’t buckle on the issue. We went back and forth until he had no choice but to greenlight my program. 

I left the meeting feeling sick to my stomach. I splashed my face in the sink, trying to drown out the sounds of my kids’ screams. My phone rang, pulling me out of the fog. I answered without looking. “Hello?” I answered. 

“Dad… Hey, um—. Hey, Dad,” his voice shook. 

“Andrew? Hi, Drewby,” I smiled. I hadn’t heard from Andrew since the incident. He’d gone off the grid and I lost him. I didn’t know if he was dead or alive. “What’s going on?” 

“Dad, I’m in the hospital,” Andrew replied. 

“Which one?” I questioned. 

“I’ll send you the location… We should probably talk more in person. Are you busy?” Andrew replied.

“Never too busy, Drewby. Send me the location, and I’ll be there,” I answered. 

“I gotta go, but I’ll be here… And uh, I don’t have anywhere to—. That’s not your problem—.” 

“It is my problem… I’m always gonna be your dad. I didn’t quit because you grew up,” I reassured him, “I’ll see you in a minute.” Andrew hung up and texted me. 

I drove straight there, stopping to call Terry. “Hey, Terry, I’ll be a little late. Something came up,” I explained, “Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah, Avie’s great. She fell asleep on my lap, so I’m stuck watching TV… How’d your thing go?” Terry asked.

“I got everything I wanted,” I replied, “And Terry, thanks so much for helping me out. I owe you extra for watching her longer than planned.”

“No problem,” Terry replied. We exchanged goodbyes, and I entered the building and let security check me. 

I put my phone, wallet, keys, and belt in the basket before signing in at the front desk. “Is Andrew Todd here?” I questioned. The man at the desk hesitated. 

“Can I see ID?” he asked. I gave him my ID and let him scan it. “He put your name on his medical release form.”

“Can you tell me what happened?” I asked. He pressed a button on the computer and I heard a gate click. 

“He had a psychotic episode in the Gotham City Mall,” the man answered. Vague. Andrew had no history of mental illness. He had his troubles, but he never struggled with anything like that.

Andrew came out, and my breath caught. I hadn’t seen him in five years. But, I would’ve known my son anywhere. I reached for him, hesitating before asking to hug him. Andrew wouldn’t look me in the eye, but I couldn’t stop smiling. He opened his arms, and I hugged him. “Where’ve you been?” I asked. I shook my head before he could answer and took his bag. “Are you hungry, Drewby?” 

Andrew nodded. “Can I come home for a little while?” Andrew asked. I smoothed his hair down.

“Of course. Of course, you can come home,” I answered. I went into autopilot with him. I let him in the car, and he buckled in while I dropped his bag in the back seat. “Can we talk about what happened? Or do you wanna eat first?” 

“I tried to drown myself in the fountain… I think I got pretty close,” Andrew answered. He seemed distant, but I didn’t push him for a reaction. “Do you remember when Mom died?” 

It would’ve been a random question had any of my other kids asked, but Andrew was with her when she died. He was home sick from school, and she took a nap with him and never woke up. Andrew called me in tears, and it was devastating. I remembered him begging them not to zip her up in a body bag. He insisted she wouldn’t be able to breathe. “I remember,” I whispered. 

“I never told you what her last words were. I thought it would hurt you,” Andrew mumbled. He stroked his hand with his ring and middle fingers. It was something his mother used to do when Avery dissociated. 

“Will you tell me now?” I asked. It’d been eighteen years since. If he wanted to hurt me, he would’ve done it five years ago during the incident. Andrew nodded.

“I was scared because I thought you and Mom were getting a divorce, so I asked her… And before she went to sleep, she said, she couldn’t live without you and that I didn’t need to worry because she loved us… Her exact words: Daddy drives me crazy, but I can’t live without him. You don’t have to worry about our family breaking up. We love you, Drewby ,” Andrew replied. I choked back tears. “I like that moment. It was the last time I felt like everything would be okay.”

I couldn’t speak. What would I tell him ? How could I explain to him what changed in five years? How could I tell him about his niece and Avery and—? How could I explain Terry? Even if he wasn’t the kid I mentored five years ago, I couldn’t explain him to Andrew. It felt like a betrayal… But how could I lie?

[wydstepcat]

Me venting a bit. (My personal experiences with Chiaki, and the fandom's perception of her.)

(Posted on Reddit as well, so my bad if some wording is a bit off.)

Hi everyone.

I wanted to make this post to let out some steam and to sort out my mind, and maybe some people here can relate/feel the same.

I want to start off by saying that in no way am i directly targeting someone with this post, or people who have some sort of differing opinion on her, you are allowed to dislike Chiaki, i just feel that the fandom is really downplaying her character.

Anyway, let's start with my initial reactions to Chiaki in both DR2 and DR3. My very first impressions of her was very... Eh. On the very surface to me she looked like a "waifubait" type character, really just made to make specific anime fans happy. I was wrong. I was SO wrong. Those feelings began to change around 2-4, when she became a lot more active and made her presence a lot more well known. The moment where i was like "Please don't die" was during the moment Chiaki convinced Hajime NOT to go in the final dead room. 

It was also during those chapters where i started with her FTE's (although i was kinda late, and i never had the time to finish it). 2-5 was THE moment i shed my first tear in the series, the way they built it up, how the survivors reacted to it, Usami's last words, Sonia's Rebuttal Showdown. it became the most memorable moment in the series for me. And after finishing it a day later, 2-6 extended that.

So, great right? That alone gave me a pretty damn good reason to make her my favorite character just for memorability alone. a few days later i started watching DR3. I was already semi-spoiled by her fate thanks to youtube, but i never watched the full execution to keep that a surprise for me still, good lord, somehow DR3 EXPANDED everything i love about Chiaki and more. Her sense of acting more "human". her friendship with Hajime, and Chisa, just. All of it. And I KNEW the writers knew, which is why they gave her such a cruel fate.

So, those where my initial reactions of Chiaki, and after finishing V3 i was finally unshackled from the horror called spoilers. It was also around this time i started becoming an actual fan of the entire series in general. I made my DR oriented Twitter account, i joined r/danganronpa, and began reading fics (Extra Life is one of the best DR related fan projects i've ever read, seriously.)

But, something was off. It seems to me that a lot of people didn't share a lot of the same things i felt. Now of course, i'm fine with that you know? People have differing opinions so i don't expect everyone to feel the same as me, but some where like, outright hostile or completely slandering the character, like "Chiaki was meant for fans to masturbate over" or "DR3 Chiaki is a character that shouldn't even exist in concept", and even in appreciation posts she gets shit on in the comments. Which is like, so weird to me, a lot of attention was put into making Chiaki such a subtle character, from the way she was written in both DR2 and DR3.

I felt completely and utterly alone in this for a while, and it made me feel really sad. It was not too long after where i met some people on tumblr chat, i prefer to keep their names anonymous, but they as well felt very similar to the things i was feeling, and we started to talk more. I learned they had their own server to vent about stuff like this, and we've been talking a lot more since. One of them told me that around 2017, they outright ditched the entire fandom altogether, and really only talk DR with the people they know. The other has pretty much ditched reddit and moved on to other social media websites, deemed a lot safer to communicate Danganronpa with. I've talked with some artists as well, who weren't even aware this was "still" happening.

So, that begs the question. I've seen a LOT of people straight up hating her, even outside reddit. Why does she keep being so popular? If i'm right, r/ultimategamer has THE most members out of ANY DR Character, she was placed #2 at the official character poll, and probably even more that i forgot to mention. 

Am i wrong about this? Do people really praise her for the character she is? It can't just be because of her looks right? There has to be more than that, right?

I left that subreddit yesterday. I decided that it does not offer any value to me other than the fact that Danganronpa Kirigiri got fully translated. And really, it feels like constant negativity and "unpopular opinions/tierlist" posts.

...That's all i wanted to say. I also want to make it clear that aside from SOME characters, I really like almost every single one lf them, flaws and all. I've become a lot more cynical on the franchise lately, like the negatives of DR3 overpowering the positives, and becoming a lot more hostile and negative as well. I hope that stepping away for a bit will improve it. I hope that anyone reading this felt some sort of relatability in regards to this, it would make me pretty happy to know I'm not alone in this.

[jellybeanium124]

controversial izzy opinion under the cut

I really hate that just because the canyon said "ed's a horrible monster and Izzy's the REAL Suicidal!!" that the jar has taken a hard left into "izzy only wanted to die for perfectly logical reasons which exempts him from being suicidal and ed's the only Real Suicidal" like ofc Ed had an arc about being suicidal and isn't a horrible monster (fuck the canyon and their racist ass takes) but izzy is also in a mental health crisis from 2x02 to 2x04?? like he is clearly mentally unwell??

like, okay, when I was 16 I hated my life so much every time I was driving alone in my car I wanted to get t-boned by a semi and sent to the hospital. does that count as suicidal?? was the fact that it was my situation causing me to not want to live this way anymore make me Not A Real Suicidal? Was the fact that I believed in a better future (college) and that was why I never wanted to die for real exempt me from having suicidal feelings?? Because izzy doesn't hit that last checkbox! He doesn't have hope for a better future so he wants to die! He can't face reality so he drinks and drinks!

I just don't understand why it has to be one or the other. either ed is the Real Suicidal or izzy. why can't they both have a suicidal arc. and they're different! they're not the same arc! also, like, ed had a pretty major external factor turn him from passively suicidal (like he is in 1x04) to actively suicidal: IZZY!!!! izzy pushed him over the edge into actively wanting to die! it wasn't internally caused!

I'm just so completely over the way each side of the fandom has this need to not share one single opinion. I get that the canyon sucks. I think the canyon sucks a lot and their takes are bad, and racist, and show a complete lack of understanding for the show. because if you think izzy is suicidal in 2x08 you're a fucking dumbass who completely missed how receiving the unicorn leg made him realize there is a better future for him. but before that? he wanted to die! he tried to kill himself! I just can't wrap my head around why he doesn't count. people have argued with me already about this and I did research and explained how he experiences anomic suicidal feelings so idk what else to say really. yeah. sorry.

[maplefiasco]

8 Shows To Know Me

Thanks for the tag, @booksandabeer! This was extremely difficult and I look forward to kicking myself in a week when I remember some other show that's 20% of my personality but I totally blanked on when making this list.

No pressure tagging: @asmoonlightthroughthepines, @scare-ard--sleigh, @msmandapants, @blithers, @dontcallmebree and anyone else up for distilling themselves down to eight tv shows!

Okay let's do this!

Star Trek The Next Generation

TNG imprinted on me in 4th or 5th grade. I'd watch it every night before dinner and have lots of opinions about the holodeck and Data. Did I put a headband in front of my eyes and call it LaForge's visor? Yes. Did I unironically love the cheesy episodes like Rascals, The Game, and Disaster? Absolutely. It was also my intro to fannishness, pre-internet. One of my friend's dads had a stack of action figures, and a Riker uniform he'd break out at Halloween. I remember being confused by his whole deal, but mostly thinking it was really cool.

Flight of the Conchords

I saw this promo before the first season premiered and was instantly sold, it was so silly and unassuming. I was in college which is just. the perfect age to find everything about it delightful and hilarious and to be low-key in love with both Bret and Jemaine. I'm pretty sure I've thought about some lyric or throwaway line or small facial expression every day since 2007.

New Girl

I made myself limit this list to only one 2000s/2010s network comedy. New Girl edged out The Office, Parks & Rec, Community, 30 Rock, and even my beloved dark horse, Happy Endings. It's pure comfort. Every character is the best character.

Severance

I will not rest until everyone is as obsessed with this show as me. I've already watched season 1 three times, and I'll probably watch it all the way through again before season 2 comes out. It just hits all my buttons. Eerie weirdness! Sci-fi elements explored at a very personal, human level! Retro corporate dystopian branding and decor! Random moments of absurdity! Existential dread! Defiant jazz!

The Magicians

One doesn't keep up a semi-active sideblog for four years (?!!) and counting for a show without being permanently altered and irreparably damaged by it. One day, a work friend and I were talking tv and she went, "you would like this show! I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, but you would like it!" For better or worse... she was not wrong. (On the fandom side, the fic for this show is just exquisite. The art, edits, and gifs are impeccable. I'm grateful it compelled me to start making stuff more regularly. Fussy, high-effort stuff!)

Better Call Saul

I know, I know *pikachu surprised face* that this one made the list. Y'know that post that makes the rounds every once in awhile, about 'ships and fictional relationships that's like, "sure they're in love or whatever. But, like... do they even like each other?" I think this silly lawyer prequel to the crime-and-drugs show accidentally became the best display of two people who like and love each other on tv. (Also yes, everything else about it is A++. Meticulous. Stressful. Exhilarating. No notes.)

Simpsons (Seasons 1-8ish)

This feels like an embarrassingly basic answer, but my personality really is just several early seasons of The Simpsons in a trench coat. It's what shaped my sense of humor. It's the foundation of my marriage. It's why I knew what Citizen Kane was at eight years old.

Pushing Daisies

Pushing Daisies was one of the first times I felt like, "oh! Someone made a show for me specifically!" Every single element was a feast for the eyes, from the saturated colors, to the quirky, overly literal sets, to Chuck's outfits, to Lee Pace's face. Baking AND knitting were heavily featured in every episode! There was a cute romance with supernatural complications. There was whimsical, fairy tale-style Jim Dale narration!

Runners up include: Tuca & Bertie, Buffy, Firefly, Freaks & Geeks, Mad Men, Home Movies, Legion, WandaVision, The Mandalorian, and Lost.

[pondslime]

2022 writing wrap up

tagged by my beloved @possumteeths MWAH ILY

Total Words Published: 

30,725

Additional Words Written: 

about 9k of assorted other wips lmao

and about 4k for a random non-fic writing project that I kinda......abandoned......but maybe we’ll pick it back up idk

Grand Total of Words: 

about 44,000!

Fandoms:

house of wax exclusively. smh. bc I lost my mind in october over it and have published nothing BUT content for it

however!! I would love to branch out eventually and write some other shit lmao!!

I have a bride of chucky fic in the works and I’d love to dabble into other slashers PERHAPS

none of them own this ass quite like those wax losers UNFORTUNATELY

Highest Everything (raw kudos, hits, comments):

it’s my first HOW fic, poacher’s dream...which is a categorically nasty and weird lil house of wax oneshot about bo sinclair bein nasty w/beer bottles.

glad to know that all of u are intrigued @ the thought of being debased w/a budweiser bottle by this hick loser bc same tbh

Highest Kudos to Hits Ratio:

pumpkin guts! a silly lil halloween romp in which the reader carves pumpkins with the worst men in america! spooky!

New Things I Tried:

x reader fics lol!! I never thought I'd write anything in that format! tbqh, I didn't think I'd return to writing fanfic at all! bc for years I’ve had this cycle of getting into something, writing one (1) fic for it, losing all interest in fic writing, and disappearing off the face of whatever fandom I scuttled into lmao

seems like the only thing that motivates me to semi-regularly post fics is the concept of screwing the vilest fictional men?? interesting!! I love my neurological functions

Fic I Spent the Most Time On:

it feels like it was sanguine lmao

I wrote 9.5k words of weird cerebral EDGING porn for this deranged elvis impersonator and his mechanic LARP

I really did 

and it’s 100% the least accessible of my fics bc it’s Peculiar™. but when I tell u I sat and absolutely labored over that fic rfhsdjwjfedskrfjwds

I put a lot of time and energy into it and it knocked 7391932 years off my life tbh

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

something borrowed! 

I think it’s the strongest fic in my catalogue tbh. Just pacing/format-wise. I really like the overall structure and tone! It’s this strange little foray into Bo’s demented little pea brain and has several scenes I love a lot 

I’m also very fond of miss ambrose, my lester fic! it’s just GOOFY fluffy nonsense!!! I had SO MUCH fun writing it 

Favorite Thing I Read:

everything LITERALLY EVERTHING that my fuckin INCREDIBLY talented friend @possumteeths​/ @raccoonspooky​ wrote!! like I’m actively trying to narrow down my favorite and I am having the most DIFFICULT time bc they are all works of fuckin art lmao

I literally just reread obedient dogs the other day. go read that. have u read the SOUL SHATTERING and AWARD WINNING they'll pay you a thousand for a kiss & .50 for your soul ?? HAVE U?? BESTIE if U HAVE NOT??? 

basically, go gargle down all of poki’s content idk man IT’S ALL SO GOOD 

@visceravalentines​ wrote THIS incredible piece and it made me clinically fuckin insane. edit: AND THIS ONE. HOLY SHIT. I have reread both of these 7382817983 times!!! meg ily!! u just wait I’m gonna attack ur masterlist like a frenzied bear after a long winter hibernation I swear

regrettably, I didn’t consume a ton of fic this year!! granted, I only got into this fandom in october so I have time to catch up lmao!! definitely plan to have a more extensive list next year 

Writing goals for 2023:

write more nonsensical insanity and just have fun lmao

as for concrete plans!! I’d love to write a whole series of x readers with horror ladies (final girl/villain/what have u)! carly and tiff are already on that list, but if you have any other ideas, I’m all ears! I need to brush through my horror lady mental catalogue and give them some ao3 rights lmao!

New Works:

The previously mentioned Carly x Reader fic! It’s been my super self-indulgent brainchild for the past couple months, and I love it a lot! I really want to hammer it out this month and toss it out into the internet void......but we shall see. 

If only I can get the weevil that is Ho Binclair out of my goddamn scriv doc..........speaking of him.......................

☢️💥🤡 I’ve got 37171984918342 Bo WIP’s bopping around my skull at all times yikes🤡💥☢️

I don’t need those. u don’t need those. I’ve already written enough for this man. what else is there 2 say!!! and yet

I’m also writing bits and pieces of this multi-chaptered Vincent slowburn. that will be out..............................at some time? in the future jfrdsjhrjhwfdskrwfds who knows

tagging the writer moots that I haven't already seen tagged!! no stress of course mwah 

@visceravalentines, @venus-haze​

also consider urself tagged if u read 2 the bottom of this hell post 

[incarnateirony]

Can I ask you something about Misha and Jensen? And I also heard the Winchesters cast messaged a tumblr blog for promo months ago and I wanted to know if you heard about that.

People can ask, not sure if i'll know or answer. The crew doesn't actually use tumblr for their communications. There's an account on tumblr that suffers major MHI and often pretends to be an employee of jensen, chaos machine, or more because they have liminal contact.

Generally speaking TPTB and their mercs don't. use. tumblr. Hell, it's pulling teeth to get them to use discord. And trust me. I know. I've made channels for some and they fuck off for a year until an emergency happens. They primarily use twitter or IG--possibly FB but IDK since I haven't touched it in ages (I do remember facetiming one like, 5 years ago tho). And that's only if you're a liminal contact. generally, you know, they're someone that will like. call you. on. a phone. even international.

odds are the Tumblr Blog That Messaged Asking For Promotion is the same motherfucker that's been pounding on my server walls yelling "BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW" like. i already told yall how. what do you want.

sdfksjdfksdjf tptb browse tumblr. they don't use it for communication. they hide and shitpost like the rest of us or just silently read or USE FUCKING MICROSOFT EDGE LIKE SORE THUMBS IT DRIVES ME INSANE ANY TIME I SEE YOU DUDE.

But for the many times, for example, statcounter has captured misha's footprint on my blog, of the [counts] 7 people trying to message me as him, RA, Gish, Jensen, CM or an affiliate of theirs on tumblr, zero were authentic. And uh. like. 5 of these at least are actually the same person.

so lmao. no, i haven't heard about it, but it's funny it's being said.

Danneel and Jensen engage by IG when not by phone guys. They're not going to crawl to the most backwater ass stagnant ass dying platform and like send a dm or anon to a blog asking for promo there while they're goddamn viral on IG 100000x larger.

sounds like someone's being taken for a ride by [redacted]. She Of One Thousand Accounts.

I still have 2 of their last alt's asks rotting in my inbox pretending to be affiliated.

anyway Drama Mc Fake Account realized they sorta fucked the plot on the central fandom promotion accounts by their drama monger games so now it's time to message a NEW blog. Maybe they'll pretend to work for radio company this time. They did that for me once. Pick your poison, who is She Of 1000 Accounts pretending to be today.

problem is, she has just enough contact to be able to seem real to people that don't know better. But it's generally inflated, or cropped dms, or a misrepresented danneel IG response. once in a while mild banter shares minor things. But it's just enough for them to keep pretending to be a wholesale, deeply itk employee to people that don't know what counter-questions to challenge with.

same person pikachufaced when my response to them being involved in an old sting operation that they tried to brag/gloat with: Yeah. I know. You recorded it. It's among the data that was handled and packaged in zips in folders.

She was all. WAIT YOU WERE PART OF THAT? Uh. fuckin. yeah. real connected up there aren't you. You just now figured this out? Did you miss the Manchin, Jess, Natalie and other itk attempting douchecanoes wiping out in the past? Etc etc. "That all happened?" Yeah. While you're showing off your semi active dm box for gold stars, a lot of us stayed busy and on track for years sweetie wtf

either way, sorry to that man* (gn) that got messaged and fell for it. for a while we almost did too, because they play it just right. But i've worked enough with enough actual. you know. people worth a shit. to realize when someone's just saying whatever gets them attention at the moment.

buyer beware: tptb aint gonna message you on tumblr man. they just ain't. i'm sorry. I don't care who you are.

[ryuunisou]

Seeing the ship war in SE fandom being largely from shippers of a smaller ship being bitter and feeling the need to bite on a more popular ship's ankle to try to knock it down a peg reminds me a lot of my own struggle in another fandom; my ship's sorta semi-canon but because one character lost much focus and relevance as time goes on, the ship overall is largely overshadowed by the most popular ship and I've tried my damnest best to try to get it more popular without making a fool of myself but I don't think it'll ever catch up regardless even if the ship ever gets confirmed canon since the source material already made the grave mistake of not utilizing one of the characters as much in the main story.

Not helping matters is not only is my ship already small with not having that much active content creators, but because of its somewhat semi-canon status some people can be downright assholes to shippers of other ships, further worsening the ship's overall reputation (so I'm cringing so hard at some of y'all who blatantly had to resort to fan wanking and character bashing to make your ship look good. Just drop it dude, you're just alienating potential fans like this)