#and before anyone tries to go on about who is the worse hokage and tobi being Bad just. stop right there

[sanska]

Y’all ever think about how we nearly had a dog as third Hokage?

(Tobi faces under cut!)

This was supposed to be my stress relief sketch but. Expressions are hard. My layers are in shambles. Everything but the initial concept involved me fighting for my life. I changed from doing greyscale to colour last minute and the skintones are all greyyy. But it’s okay they’re technically zombies.

Tobirama in the first pic was basically me drawing this the whole week :’)

[koorinohebi]

@super-kame-love

Continued From:

I am curious: how would you describe Kiomi's relationship with Jiraiya? And with Koji Kashin? What you've shared about them so far seems very interesting and I must know more!

+ + +

Sorry for breaking it into two different posts, Kame-san. The other one felt so long already.

Quick note: IF you haven't read or watched Boruto, this will definitely contain spoilers.

So for this second one, we have...

Kashin Koji

So the main reason I was interested in him was when rumors were floating around that Jiraiya or someone that resembles him is back in Boruto. One look at his design and I was like, yeah. Unmistakably related in one way or another. Lo and behold my friend, lo and behold.

I have 2 verses for Kashin Koji. One is the one where you often see me mention Takeda. That one is an on going RP with @ambitiousparagon, and the other one is a verse where I pen Koji myself. The one with Takeda is still in the works and currently still very unpredictable, so for this instance I'll talk about my own version of Kashin Koji, which actually...more than Kiomi being the main focus, I tend to lean more towards the man himself. This is heavily influenced by headcanons that are based on what I noticed his personality being based on what we know so far.

So when I first encountered Kashin Koji there was hardly anything on him, which is to say, still very true currently. He hasn't been seen in the manga after his crushing defeat against Isshiki, and in the anime, they've given him a voice, and we see how he acts, but ultimately it doesn't differ from what we've already read in the manga (if you or any of the ones reading this have read it).

So Kashin Koji is, despite being quite whimsical, a no nonsense kinda guy. So he is very...well, I wouldn't call it by the book, but as a shinobi, he chooses the most efficient way to carry out the mission, which is...by default, how Amado had initially programed him-- Not as a perfectionist, no, but as Isshiki would say it, Amado's programming of Kashin Koji rode on his maker clinging onto Jiraiya's mighty fate. However, with Jiraiya being the template, it's not a surprise if Koji would inherit the man's sentiments, principles, and even slight eccentricities as a Shinobi (which I believe Amado had predicted and saw as a weakness. He needs and creates tools as he sees fit, and he'll use whatever he can to further his agenda). Amado strives to emulate within Kashin Koji the "star of change" which Jiraiya possessed. As we know, thanks not only to the prophecy, but also due to Jiraiya's diligence in searching for that revolutionary that could change the world, he was able to bring together (in one way or another) three of the most powerful game changers that we have who affected the course of the current History. If they wanted to defeat Isshiki, he needed that kind of trick up his sleeve. Because however, Kashin Koji has imperfections, and someone Jigen had deemed weaker than he is (because Jigen told Amado to dispose of clones more powerful than he was), our good professor faces a setback and thus needs to come up with a new plan (going to the Hokage, and asking them to kill Isshiki instead while having Kashin Koji show them the "ropes" on how it's done).

My take on him stems from this human weakness. Kashin Koji is aware of who he's supposed to be a clone of. We see this when he comments on his fate being tied to Konoha and the like. And admittedly, knowing your predecessor's legacy, not to mention having been able to perfect something that the original couldn't gives him a bit of an ability to brag, and believe that he can be just as great or even greater than Jiraiya.

But the question is how convinced he is of this himself. I do believe that Kashin Koji wants to be a person of his own, and in being the perfect heroic shinobi tool, even if he dies, it wouldn't be for naught so long as he brings down his target (which happens to be the biggest threat since Madara, Tobi, and Kaguya). Believing that Amadao was entrusting the fate of the world in his hands bolstered his confidence. However, when Isshiki pointed out the painful truth of Amado's betrayal and deception, he internally refuses to accept it. That he was just a pawn, and that he'd never break free from being nothing but Jiraiya's shadow. I always felt that if at the baseness of Jiraiya's personality, you have a decent grasp of his shortcomings, regrets, and insecurities, you'll get a good grasp of Kashin Koji too. Although it's just my headcanon (and people dont really have to abide by it), Koji too, is plagued by this ever looming sense of not being good enough, as well as not living up to the name of his original (very much like how Jiraiya felt his accomplishments dont match that of Sandaime or Minato).

So after this long explanation on my take on Kashin Koji, you may ask where Kiomi comes in. Well, she comes in as a form of support.

Just as with Naruto's unreasonable worry, the first time that Kiomi sees Kashin Koji, she's instantly unreasonably bothered by him as well. Worse, when the mask comes off, and she sees his face she is instantly appalled and angry because everything that she's been keeping inside is dragged to the surface. Of course, none of this was Kashin Koji's fault. It was more of Kiomi's own regret, and seeing him was like opening a can of worms for her, reminding her of all the things she wanted to do and say had her teacher been alive. At the same time, she's very irked that someone was running around with his face, because someone had the gall to deliberately make a "knock off" as she calls it, of the man she respects the most.

With this much animosity, one would wonder how Kiomi becomes his support. While Kiomi and Kashin Koji initially dislikes each other, the woman rejects the fact that he's just "some clone", as he is also a person who deserves to live his life as himself regardless of whether he was created as a tool or as a clone. If you remember from my first post about Kiomi and Jiraiya's relationship, this was exactly the same kind of treatment that Jiraiya gave Kiomi when she viewed herself as nothing more than a disposable chess piece. She doesn't say this outright to Kashin Koji though. He learns this on his own. Seeing that someone believed in his own possibilities gave him a little peace of mind, just a little. In effect, this draws his curiosity. Kashin Koji being an Inner of Kara does his assignment pretty well, so he would by effect, know who she was as too. He believed she would be one of those who would constantly see him as a glorified Kagebunshin, but surprisingly she didn't. In fact, seeing as he was who he was, it would make him a perfect replacement, but she didn't treat him like that. This makes him loosen up around her, enough that his usually snide and sarcastic remarks are now laced with a hint of fond teasing. Ironically, she hates it when he does this, as it reminds her of Jiraiya. (Because Jiraiya often teases her about one thing or another.)

One of my favorite interactions of them is probably this one, just because it shows a little bit of both their internal struggles and how they deal with each other.

===

“Tell me,” Instead of standing to leave, he remained seated opposite from her. Kashin Koji removed the mask which barred a portion of his face that she was surely uncomfortable seeing. And he was right. She averted her eyes briefly, before putting up a look of feigned indifference once their optics finally met.

There was relative distress in her features, that much he could tell while staring at her…curiously, seriously. “Do I resemble him? This Jiraiya of yours.”

Looking at him was like staring into a nightmare, a stark reminder of what she could never hope to have. However, she understood his question. They were past simple notions of physicality. It wasn’t just about his face, nor was it about his origin. It was deeper than that. For Kiomi’s alleged simple-mindedness, this concept was not something so hard to grasp. Not when this was the very base of the learnings she had inherited from the mentor she respected the most. Despite Jiraiya and Kashin Koji’s shared similarities, they were still two very different people, each with their own uniqueness. Besides, denying a man his own identity was probably the cruelest judgment any living being could impose on another.

“You don’t.” The answer came simply; however, he did not miss the semblance of melancholy that lingered upon her visage. To him, it felt indicative of disappointment…such fragile and complicated feelings.

“I see.” Kashin Koji had closed his eyes then, satisfied with the answer. In a sense, he felt his lips curve into a smirk. Two words of reassurance; to think that hearing something so simple had such a significant impact. And as for Kiomi who had only seen the man scowl at her existence, this look on his face for the first time caused her chest to ache. Perhaps in her words, she knew not if a lie existed; if only because such an expression looked frighteningly similar to her teacher’s.

“The two of you must have loved each other very dearly.” At this point, he had refocused his gaze upon the female, only to raise a brow shortly after. He had never seen anyone choke on air before. Her flustered features shouldn’t have been anything extraordinary, but it felt amusing. “Was I mistaken?”

“Yes, you’re wrong! You’re very wrong!” She retorted, her flushed face, easily beating the most crimson of fruits. “Everything, this…my…they’re all just…” She tried to calm down as she explained. “…they’re all just…what I’m trying to say is…whatever they are, they’re all just one-sided emotions…” She looked downtrodden. He recalled Naruto saying that their mentor died while she was away figuring out herself, and had carried a burden none of them could share. Jiraiya had meant everything to them, each within varying degrees unknown just how much to the other.

After learning that all of this was one sided, he looked at her with lethargy. “Are you actually an idiot after all?”

“Oi, you actually dare to call me an idiot in my own house? Besides, it’s not like I stood a chance against the person he sought after.” It wasn’t a secret to her after all, that he had his eyes on Lady Tsunade. What chance did she have against someone who had shared in his losses, successes, strife, and victories?

“Was what you felt actually so flimsy that it lost to someone else’s? Did you confirm it with your own mouth?”

The questions that bombarded her, matched with such an unexpected interrogator threw her off. So much that when she had come to her senses, she found herself face to face with Kashin Koji. If she was distraught earlier, then the ante had been upped then and there. Trapped in between his arms, being stared at, it felt horrible and suffocating for many reasons that she convinced herself that she couldn't understand. “Should I teach you just how lofty your feelings are?” He lingered so close, too close for comfort. But that was where she drew the line. Steeling herself, she pulled her head back just enough to give her some room to drive her forehead down against his. THWACK!

Both of them found themselves clutching their heads, one clicked his tongue and the other was cussing up a storm in her mind--and verbally, apparently.

“Don’t you dare mock me—“

She was on the verge of throwing him out, but there he was, laughing, collapsed on the floor as he held onto his forehead. She stifled her annoyance because she remembered how; pranks of the same nature had been done to her, by none other than her favorite mentor. And he would laugh just the same. At least sensei’s were a little more innocent and subtle. “Don’t laugh at me either!” She demanded with childish vigor, kicking him in the shin repeatedly. He fended them off well enough, which added to her irritation.

“That’s enough out of you.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do in my own hou—hou—“ That was to say, if she wasn’t going to stop her assault, then he would have to play along. Grabbing her ankle when she struck, he pulled her over; just enough to make her balance crumble, bringing her down effectively.

“What the actual hell is wrong with you?”

“Even now, you’re struggling to protect what’s important to you. You may be a bit weaker than others, but it doesn’t seem like you’re lacking in persistence and perseverance. What are you so afraid of?”

Again with questions and commentaries that she did not ask for…

Her silence was enough of a response. Regrets, apprehensions, guilt, it was painted on her face. Shaking his head, Kashin Koji came to a stand and dusted himself, thereafter extending a hand for her to take.

“At the very least, come up to the starting line and show that mentor of yours your resolve.”

She begrudgingly looked at the hand that was offered to her. She felt ashamed and annoyed at herself because she knew that his point was valid. He wasn’t wrong, and in fact, he made more sense than she had wanted to admit. With an inward sigh, she took that hand and he helped her to her feet.

“…” Their grasp on each other persisted for a while. There was no warmth there; no comfort of a familiar friend, but there was a firmness that was enough to uproot whatever doubt it was that crept within the confines of her mind. She wouldn’t exactly call the other’s presence reassuring, but in a sense it was something close to it.

“Tsk, just who do you think you are? Acting all high and mighty?” Compared to before, the scowl had turned a bit friendly, but a scowl none the less.

“In case you haven’t heard or have been mistaking me for someone else, it’s Kashin Koji.” He replied with a tinge of whimsy in his voice. Matched with that was a tighter grip on the female’s hand which she reciprocated in kind. “Kiomi.” She rebutted against his satirical introduction.

When they at last released each other, there was probably a reddening mark there, but it also seemed like they’ve come to a certain understanding. “With a grip like that, what do you even hope to accomplish?”

Everything that comes out of his mouth is a fucking insult… Kiomi mused, unabashed by such a sentiment. Still, she watched him retrieve his mask only to wear it over his face once more. “I’ve a scouting mission at the Hokage’s behest. Two days time.” He stated out of the blue, walking towards her direction, incidentally near the exit. “Join me.”

“And why exactly, should I do that?” Folding her arms over her chest, she asked.

“Learn something useful rather than wallow in your self-pity.” Just before he could pass her completely, the intruder halted to cup her cheeks, moving it side to side casually.

(I made a thing.Lol Kiomi and her tendency to get manhandled.) There was no tenderness there, rather it seemed like he was inspecting a toy for some kind of defect. “You dont seem outclassed by anyone, not even by the Godaime. Put yourself to good use. You are a Shinobi, after all.”

“What does Lady Tsunade even have to do with this?”

“Who else would you feel so inferior to? It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Besides,”

Finally, he’d relinquish his hold to observe her frame carefully. She was a slender woman, possibly bordering voluptuous underneath all that fabric. From the wrinkles and silhouette of her attire, he could tell that she was filled out in all the right places. Fair skin, a set of apprehensive platinum orbs…among other things. “You have the curves. Maybe not the appeal and self confidence, but you have the curves. You’ll be fine.”

Perhaps it was in that retort that Kiomi ran after Kashin Koji as he left her place, albeit with a senbon or two hurled at the man. “I was wrong; you’re probably just as much of a letch as sensei!”

The projectiles were caught between the fingers and twirled around with ease, no troubles at all. He contemplated for a mere second before deciding to keep them as a souvenir. “You wound me with your presumptuousness. I'm a busy man, and have no time for countless women. Such a disappointing assessment.” He waved her off, walking away and finally disappearing from sight.

===

Pardon the length, but this is how they normally interact in my story.

Koji serves as a challenge for Kiomi, while Kiomi serves as a "net" for Koji so that when he falls pray to his feeling of incompetency, he remembers that she expects him to plainly be Kashin Koji, and no one else. Both of them remind each other of something important which they both hope would make them better versions of themselves.

So what kind of relationship do they have? I'm pretty sure it's along the lines of frienemies.

[steeltoss]

Pre Shippuden — Shippuden Era

Ages 16 - 22. This is a continuation of the events in Hokkaido's life.

Age 16

I left off on her six month mission in Konohagakure. Backtracking a few months before she turned sixteen, she worked directly under Tsunade Senju amd had slowly reconnected with her old friends, including Neji Hyūga, Kiba Inuzuka, Ino Yamanaka, Sakura Haruno, Shikamaru Nara, and Choji Akamichi.

That being said, her sixteenth birthday was spent in the Hidden Leaf. The party was small and planned by Ino, complete with a few cupcakes and dango. This was the first birthday she enjoyed after Emi passed away.

Speaking of Emi, Hokkaido constantly worried over Ichika and often wrote letters to the younger one. After all, next year Ichika would start the Amegakure Academy.

Aside from her mission, nothing too big happened this year. Though she found out Sasuke was missing. He had become a Rogue Ninja. Okay that's pretty big but still.

Age 17

Upon her journey towards Amegakure after the six months had passed, the Kunoichi had taken it into her own hands to search for Sasuke. She strayed off the path she should have been taking to go to the Hidden Rain Village.

From here, she runs into some nasty company.

This was the first time she met Pein and Konan. And they looked like they were ready to end her.

Upon activating her sharingan, interest was sparked in her by Pein. She was spared on one condition. Well a few, but one big one.

She was to join the Akatsuki, accept the Rogue life and abandon her old life. This would mean abandoning the Hidden Rain and Ichika.

But on the other hand, maybe she could find Sasuke. She had no clue just how wrong she was. But she agreed nonetheless.

So she was taken back to the base, fron there, she met the other members.

Okay don't kill me but here's what happens when she first meets the Akatsuki: [her opinion and relationships will change over time]

Pein: Of course when they first met, she was intimidated and activated her sharingan, but being spared and hopefully brought closer to her brother, she would do anything he asked, for now at least.

Konan: Seeing her special skills, Hokkaido was intimidated but wouldn't admit so. She seems to be the only female here.

Deidara: I'm sorry Dei, but my little angel thought you were a very beautiful lady until you spoke the first time. Needless to say, she was rather shocked but admired his hair and explosives anyway.

Kakuzu: one word. Fear. This man is huge and crazy tall, also his personality reminds her of what its like to bite into a crabapple.

Hidan: she admired his dedication, but didn't like how he greeted her with “Fuck, there's another one? At least this one has a decent rack”. She punched him. And threatened his life only to find out he's immortal.

Tobi: well, he's very hyper and welcoming at least, but she wondered why he wore that mask.

Kisame: is he a man? Shark? Man-Shark? Either way, she kept a distance and admired his strength from afar.

Sasori: puppets are completely and utterly horrifying and she wanted nothing to do with this weird puppet man. Until she saw how red his hair was and her cheeks dusted a pale pink. It reminded her of someone she met a few years ago.

Itachi: . . . Her brother. Her brother, who had killed the clan was in the Akatsuki. Upon seeing him, she wondered if it was too late to leave the Akatsuki. She rurned her nose away and sighed.

Zetsu: “are you a. . . Big, adorable plant man?” i think it's safe to say Zetsu stared at her and quite possibly closed his trap around himself to save himself the embarrassment or black Zetsu threatening to eat her.

Back to Age 17

Sasuke wasn't with them, and she felt like shutting down completely. She was now at square one again. She had hoped this was her ticket to helping her brother, but ahe didnt know he didn't want help.

And honestly, you can't help someone who doesn't want any help.

Aside from her mind overworking, she now had to face Itachi as he was staring her down.

“hey, Itachi... ”

From there, the two walked around as he explained what really happened that day. She was torn. The Leaf had ordered this massacre?

Maybe she wasn't ready to go home after all.

Age 18

On her eighteenth birthday, she had spent her very first one with Itachi in nine years, and she oncr again, was crying those sappy happy little tears.

She never really expected a group of terrorists to the villages to get her gifts, yet they had.

Konan had gotten her a pair of fingerless gloves; Hokkaido appreciated the gesture because her hands were usually cold and Konan usually got things she needed or wanted anyway as the two had become closer.

Kisame had given her her very first katana, which, she undeniably adored the gesture; and she was extremely pink cheeked, she wasn't in love with him but she really liked his caring and understanding attitude.

Tobi had gotten her a mask to match his, which she never would wear; instead, she retaliated with offering to share dango with him instead. Which results in him squealing.

Sasori had claimed he didn't give a damn about things she wanted but still placed a small wooden figure of well, GAARA, in front of her; which led to the idea he had read her diary and had fully embarrassed her. But this little figure was different. Gaara was dressed as the Kazekage.

Deidara had picked her up some paint; remembering she hsd spent endless nights she couldn't sleep to paint her ceilinv and walls, and was out of it.

Zetsu uh, well, gave her a few seeds for flowers. It was for a joke since he figured she would never use them, but she held o to them. Just wait. These gifts will be brought up later.

Kakuzu, and i can't stress this enough, didn't do shit.

Hidan, on the other hand, tried offering immortality if she converted to jashinism.

Itachi had saved his for last. He had gotten her a journal and pens, as well as her stuffed panda from Amegakure.

A part of being an official member of the Akatsuki meant missions. And she had completed several, but what made her panic would be the one where the hunt for Jinchuuriki began.

It was a silent battle with herself. She had already dedicated herself to the Akatsuki but she knew two Jinchuuriki. Gaara and Naruto.

The day Gaara's One Tail was extracted, she covered her mouth upon hearing those certain words.

“He's dead”.

As if she had been hoping her life wouldn't get worse, she had already made up her mind. She really, really despised Deidara now. And she knew she would be killed if she straight up abandoned post.

However, on her next solo mission, she managed to leave a scroll for the Hokage and wanted word passed silently between the Five Kage's. She was playing both sides as of now, but desperately wanted out.

Would they believe her?

No. Not yet at least.

Age 19

Silence. She had succumbed herself with silence, almost like a vow she had taken. Deidara, Sasori, they were dead and war was coming.

She promised herself she would hate Deidara for what he did to Gaara, but she couldn't help but feel pity. Deidara was only a teenager when he died. [I think he was nineteen?]

With the Fourth Shinobi War coming, she was scared. Having no idea what to even do, Hokkaido assumed she would die.

Because I'm a lil bitch, I'm making you wait until she turns 20 for more details.

Age 20

The Akatsuki was no more. Almost all had died, and Hokkaido felt a slight empty feeling in her heart as she sat in front of the Five Kage's.

This was judgement. Would she be allowed to repent and become a better person or be banished forever, or die? Her mind was going wild.

Though, she couldn't help the feeling of ease as she saw Gaara, the Kazekage and boy she used to know, standing and perfectly fine.

“During the time of my extraction, I could see she wanted nothing to do with the Akatsuki organization. She looked almost forced to be there”.

The words Gaara spoke made her face turn pink and look away. Why was he trying to help her when she had fallen into the wrong group of people?

As if she hadn't already felt like she had succumbed herself in a repetitive cycle of falling for Gaara each day she thought about it, him helping her only dragged her deeper into the pit.

And Kami, he was so beautiful.

“and I'd like to offer that if you don't trust her, that's fine. She can return to Suna with me and Kankurō. She can build herself from there”.

So she moves to Suna and begins working on herself as a person, much of the things she had thought about was the very questions Gaara had asked along the way.

“why help me?” she had asked, the gaze he gave her was hard but he responded with: “you aren't the only one who was in the wrong. It would be wrong of anyone to not let you change yourself. I was given a chance and was once feared and hated, so can you answer this for me, do you wamt to live? Do you want to start a new beginning? If so, keep walking with us”.

And so she walked.

Age 21

Life in Suna was much different than the Hidden Rain or Leaf. Not many people would contact her or look her way for the first few days. After all she was an outsider and reformed terrorist.

Hokkaido had grown close to Temari once more, as well as Kankurō. These two, when free, helped her with the adjustment.

Hokkaido had left Amegakure behind, the ache in her heart subsiding as she realized Ichika had grown into a decent young child and chose to not become a shinobi, considering shinobi had too many hardships and heartaches to deal with.

As for Gaara, the two often spent time gardening and cultivating cacti.

Something from the past had finally been planted. The flower seeds Zetsu had given her way back on her birthday spent with the Akatsuki.

The katana that Kisame had given her was placed on a display.

Her Traditional Japanese Sword Display

The katana which is the most recognized full sized samurai sword and is often the first piece in any collection. It sits at the bottom and has a beautiful violet ito handle wrap.

The second would be the wakizashi which is a mid-sized sword that resembles the katana and the ito handle wrap was midnight blue.

Then the third which is a tanto. The tanto is the shortest of the swords or in many examples can be as short as today's standard survival styled knife. The ito wrap is black.

This is an example of how the stand is:

Age 21

The mask Tobi had given her had brought up bitter memories and had long sense been tossed into a storage box.

Her fingerless gloves had been destroyed during the war, but since she used them for swordplay, Temari had gotten her a new pair as a gift.

The wooden figure Sasori had given her of Gaara was more or less embarassing since she lived with the sand siblings and had hidden it away in the storage box.

Her panda sat on her bed, displayed and untouched except for during the night.

Age 22

Upon the next year, Hokkaido watched as relationships blossomed between many people, marriages and children coming into the world, she began wondering if she would ever have something like this in her own life. She highly doubted it.

Having been back and forth from Konohagakure, she grew closer to Shikamaru once more from childhood as she often joined the male and Temari on days they'd spend time together.

Other times, Hokkaido would stick to Kankurō and help with making puppets, she rather enjoyed painting them.

And occasionally, when Gaara was free, the two would still garden together and had began talking more, sometimes the two would even go out to the village and walk around together.

Her feelings for Gaara seemed to only hrow stronger as she had grown older, and she imagined herself having a future with him. It always made her heart hammer and her face turn blood red.

This year, she had cut most of her hair off to her shoulders as it had grown too long. She soon admits her feelings to Gaara, unsurprisingly, he was silent.

She most definitely assumed she blew it, but nearly a week later, Gaara had shyly asked if she would allow him to court her.

This was most definitely the beginning of a new and beautiful relationship.

I'll pick up with pre boruto - boruto era soon. Though im not sure if these are even good. @temarihime @thefifthkazekage @how-troublesome @houndninja

[sup-hoes-its-me]

With Time III (Tobirama x Reader)

 A/N: hi! So this is the last part. I hope ur ready bc I wasn't when i wrote it! It’s really been wonderful writing for Tobirama even though I may have made him ooc a lot of the time. Have fun with this last chapter guys and thanks so much for reading!

word count: 4775

Part One/Part Two/Part Three

I couldn't walk the same after the incident. My leg needed to be in a brace for the majority of the time, and I had to be extra careful when I moved because my ribs and lungs were still fragile. I hated it. I hated this feeling of being useless to everyone and everything that I worked so hard to protect.

I still worked with the Hokage in his office, giving him advice, listening to his plans and strategies, and signing documents with him from sunup to sundown. It wasn't enough. There were people out there risking their lives while I couldn't so much as go on morning runs anymore.

More than once, I'd cried myself to sleep. I would sit in my apartment and stare down at my leg brace, the bandages wrapped around my waist, and the crutches in the corner, and just sob until my throat stung dry. How could this happen to me?

Part of me wished I could have just died in the line of duty than live on and get sympathetic looks from people I passed in the street. I hated the way my fellow shinobi, those who I considered friends, looked down at me in a way you would a child or the elderly. I despised the shame that filled my heart.

“Y/N, are you even listening to me?” Tobirama sighed as usual, red eyes lifting from his desk to me.

I blinked. “Sorry, Tobi. I was distracted again.” With a frustrated shake of my head, I went back to work on whatever was placed in front of me. A boring c-rank mission report that barely needed to be skimmed. Instead of going in to focus on the mundane  task of signing papers and reading poorly scrawled paragraphs, I felt a warm, calloused hand on the side of my neck. “Is something wrong?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing. You’ve been different recently.”

“I haven’t noticed.”

“It’s been months, Y/N, three whole months and you haven’t been the same.”

My words got caught in the back of my throat and suddenly my secrets were coming crashing around me. As much as I wanted to tell him how I felt, how everything was hurting me and I couldn’t enjoy my life like I did, I wasn’t going to mutter a word. My breath was shallow from shame and my cheeks paled out of simple indignity. My fingers fidgeted around in my lap nervously under his accusing gaze.

It’s a bit much to call him accusing. He was more concerned than anything, worried in a way that said he stayed up long nights with this on his mind. The bags under his eyes didn’t help my own assumptions. And if he were to be losing sleep over me, I would no doubt feel worse. I didn’t need the sympathy of the man I’ve come to admire, the man who despite having been a rival as a child I now saw as an equal.

“Listen, I can’t even begin to express the guilt I feel for-”

“Don’t pity me, Tobirama.”

His eyes widened just a bit before quickly narrowing. He stared at me fiercely, and I tensed under the touch of his hand on my bare skin, heat sinking into my collar and jaw. “I have never once pitied you, Y/N. Not even when the worst has happened to you have I pitied you. I know your strength.”

“Then why are you acting like this? Like you’re plagued with guilt, and you send me these side-eyed looks of sympathy when you think I’m not looking?” I questioned.

He took a deep breath, as if he were building up his patience or courage, I couldn’t be too sure which.

“I haven’t felt right since you got hurt. I’m not too sure how to explain it, but I feel weak. I feel like an idiot for sending you away with only a child as backup. I feel so guilty for not being there to protect you from all of this, because I can see that you’re in so much pain now that you’re crippled. I just-”

“Tobirama. Please. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. And I can never forgive myself for what I let happen to you.”

“Shinobi get hurt. Shinobi die in combat every single day,” I countered. He was the Hokage, and he cared about each and every one of his people, so why did he care so much about me, doing exactly as I was paid to do. I expected pain and suffering in this line of work, we all did. It was our sick reality. We trained children barely able to control their chakra to think sacrifice was good. Self-sacrifice is for the well-being of a nation, we were taught.,

His fingers tensed against my skin at the simple words. I watched as his jaw clenched and he turned to glare into my eyes. I no longer feared the fire in those red daggers. His firm voice broke the tense silence.

“You think I don't know that? Of course I know that my shinobi are going to get hurt and die in combat, and I can't do a thing about it. I've accepted that a long time ago,” he paused, sucking air through his teeth. “But it's somehow different with you. I can't accept that you might die one day. I can't accept the fact that it's not my fault you were attacked. I can't accept that it was you.”

I searched his eyes for answers. Something that told me what he was thinking. Only I felt like I was staring into the eyes of a man I barely knew. He looked pained. He looked desperate. Unlike the Tobirama I loved.

“Tobi…”

“Y/N, you keep me from being objective.”

I was completely lost. Lost in his eyes and his words and his frown that just itched to scream out all his troubles. “I don't know what to say. I don't- I can't,” I trailed off.

Softly, I reached up to take his hand, the one pressed against my skin. Then, I dropped it down into my lap, covering his hardened knuckles with both of my palms. My fingertips danced along his skin like feathers, but it was soothing. This feeling, of his skin against mine, it brought me back down to Earth if only for now.

Quietly, I said, “I'm sorry I've distracted you from your work. It's more important, I know that. I never meant to-”

“That's the problem. I'm beginning to believe you're more important than any of this.”

“Tobirama. Please don't say those kinds of things. You know you don't mean them. I'm your assistant, not your family...not your lover.” Deep breaths.

“I know that. That's why this is such a problem. I don't understand why I'm confusing my priorities, and seeing you here doesn't help,” the man groaned, shutting his eyes and grimacing. His hand squeezing mine.

“I'm sorry if my presence hurts you, Hokage-sama.”

“You know I didn't mean it in that way, Hatake.”

“I know. I just think you need to work out whatever is on your mind. You can't be stuck in the middle like this. It's only holding you back,” I said firmly, catching his gaze. “Just remember, your destiny lies with this village. You will have a great legacy, Tobi, but you have to be careful.”

But Hashirama would have said something else. Anyone who knew the pair well enough could have seen it. Tobirama's destiny was not with the village, it was something much less abstract, less broad and disconnected. Konoha was his eldest brother's child, Hashirama's destiny, and eventually his fate.

As much as I tried to avoid it, the inevitable crushing defeat of it all, Tobirama was the one I'd become completely entranced by. I needed him as much as I needed water and air. He was my destiny.

And I could only pray he could find it in himself to forget about me, this strange relationship we had between friends and lovers. It was dangerous, and I hoped he would make the right choice.

__________________

Tobirama chose his destiny, the one I wished against.

He couldn't keep himself from doing otherwise. He could have done what he thought was wise. What was best for the entire village, but he didn't. He must not have been thinking when he marched up the stairs of my apartment building in the middle of the night.

I lay in my bed, a book in my hand and a cup of long gone cold tea on my bedside table. The room was silent save for the loud gushes of wind to slam against the windows every few minutes or so. I stopped crying before I slept about a month before, and instead took to staring at the ceiling or rereading the pages of a novel mindlessly for hours. What else was there to do when sleep wasn't an option?

But a knock on my door was definitely unexpected. It had to have been around midnight or so when I heard that distinct series of four rapping knuckles against wood.

I stood, brushing down my old t-shirt, ignoring the way my hair stuck up in all random directions. When I opened the door, I was met with a fully dressed, fully awake Tobirama. He was much taller than me, especially when I slouched like this. I straightened up a bit and ran a quick hand through my hair to brush it out of my face and behind my ear.

“Tobi, is there something you needed that couldn’t possibly wait until tomorrow?” I asked, and the irritation was clear in my tone. I rested on hand on the doorknob while the other pressed into my hip, waiting impatiently for a response. I cared for the man dearly, but I wasn’t one to enjoy being woken up in the middle of the night for something insignificant.

“I could have waited until the morning if not for this terrible pain in my chest.”

“Are you okay?” My eyes searched his form for any sign of injury, but saw nothing. He didn’t look like he was in any pain, nor did he stand any different than usual. I reached out carefully and took his wrist in my small hand, pulling him into the apartment. I hoped to God that no one was watching the Hokage sneak into some woman’s apartment in the middle of the night. The scandals that would arise…

He sighed, shutting the door softly behind him, the click of the lock bringing me comfort. We were alone. I don’t know why, but that thought brought me peace and anxiety all bundled into one ridiculous package. I wanted to spend time with him, but not like this. It felt awkward, to put it simply.

I motioned for him to take a seat on the edge of my little bed, one of the few pieces of furniture I actually owned. As he scanned over the room and the walls, his brows furrowed into a knot. “After all this time, you still haven’t bought furniture?”

“I never thought it was important. Plus, I don’t get paid enough to afford those things.”

He shook his head, mumbling under his breath, “That’s absurd. If you needed more money, you could have simply asked me for a raise-”

“Tobirama, what are you here for really? You’ve somehow changed the subject,” I said plainly, looking down at his moonlit features in the darkness of my one room apartment. The only light was what came from between the drapes in my window, yet the moon was particularly bright tonight. I could see every detail of his strongly built face, structured jaw and stern irises.

He looked up at me for a second before turning his head down once again. This man was never one to back down from a fight, but today he seemed nervous. He seemed fragile in the way he averted his gaze and sat with his shoulders slumped forward unlike their straightly broad sort of way. Tobirama seemed distressed and worried; if only he would speak so that I could help him.

Still, I continued when he said nothing. “You said that you have a terrible pain in your chest? I asked if you were alright, and I’m not sure I fully believe you.”

“I can’t hide much from you, Y/N. I fear you know me too well.” He glanced up at me with a new goal in his eyes. I couldn’t understand what it meant, that gleam that suddenly appeared, but I knew it was far too important to interrupt. “We need to discuss what’s going on between us.”

And it was as if time has stopped. The fear that remained dormant in my chest was now pumping viciously through my veins. I felt my cheeks pale, running cold in a moment, and my hands start to clam up.

What was I supposed to say? How do you reply when someone wants to have a talk about your nonexistent intimate relations? My mind ran circles around all the excuses and pleas that I could use.

I whispered, broken at the edges, “I wasn’t aware there was anything between us.” Lies, of course. We both knew it.

“You’ve known for as long as I have-longer than that, I’m sure. You’re not an idiot, Y/N.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I said, just as soft as before.

He leaned back, letting out a low exhale. His eyes rolled to the ceiling, as if he were raking through his mind for the right thing to say. He probably was. The Hokage never knew what to say in these sorts of situations. He was socially awkward, so oblivious at times that it hurt.

“I’m not sure what to say either. Just something. Anything to make this pain stop. It’s keeping me from my work, and it’s making me dependent on you.”

“You’re always thinking about me?”

“Yes, and it’s a problem.”

“I’m not sure what I could do to ease your troubles. I could never speak to you again, and you would be forced to forget me,” I suggested, although I would never do anything of the sort. It would leave me even more pathetic and incapacitated than I am now. I peered down at him, my eyes glimmering with the beginnings of tears, happy or sad, I wasn’t sure.. “But I’m not sure I could live like that for long, Tobirama.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want you to do that. I need you by my side. Haven’t I expressed that before?” So difficult, this stupid man. He wasn’t making any of this easier on me. “I don’t even know why I came here, especially at this time of night. I’m a fool for thinking this was something I could do.”

So fucking defeated. That’s the only way I can describe the sound of his voice as his coarse, frustrated words dripped from his lips out into the open. I took a deep breath, gulping down the terror I felt. I prayed he couldn’t see how terrified I was because I’m sure I looked pathetic. Nothing like a brave kunoichi, a veteran to the cause.

“Want me to tell you I love you?” I muttered in a voice so quiet I could have mistaken it for just another thought. And then, I held my breath.

He didn’t reply right away. He was silent, contemplative really. And I was at his mercy.

“Y/N, I-”

“It’s fine. You don’t need to say anything. Just know that I will always, unconditionally feel that way for you,” I confessed, suddenly not feeling as terrible. I knew he couldn’t just say something like that back. He wasn’t the type of man to just blurt out those intimate details on a whim. “You’ve been my best friend since you gave me those shuriken as a teenager, and I hope nothing brings us apart.”

“I hope for all the same things. I will protect you, if it’s the last thing that I do.”

“Tobirama…”

He tore down my soft voice with his own firm one. He glared up at me, snatching up my hands in his rough ones. He held them tightly to his chest, bringing the two of us only inches apart. “No, Y/N. No. Family is more important than anything, and after losing Hashirama- I don’t think I could handle life without you, too.”

He was so genuine in his words, and I had to bite my lip to keep from crying. Instead, I brought myself into his lap, climbing over top of him so my knees were on either side of his thighs. I kept our hands tightly clasped to my chest, but now I could feel the rise and fall of his breathing against me. I could see the specks of brown and gold in his crimson eyes. I could feel wisps of his white hair along my cheeks and forehead.

I pressed my face into his neck and sighed. This was as domestic as life would ever get, and it was the least I could do but to savour it with every one of my senses. To smell the musk on his skin, feel the warmth of his soul beneath me, listen to his harsh breaths. I absorbed every bit of this moment.

He released my hands so he could wrap his thick arms around my waist, tugging me to his abdomen. His nose found itself buried deep into my hair, soft sniffs taking in the scent of my shampoo. He always said I smelled like coconuts.

“Thank you.”

_____________________________

The day was long and terribly worrisome. Although I had busied myself with many tasks, nothing could stop the random tugs at my heart every time my mind shifted to my best friend who doubled as my strangely acquainted lover. I had waited for hours, on the couch at Tobirama’s house just for him to arrive home. I wanted to surprise him with a nice dinner and a few drinks of sake after completing the latest mission, one that seemed much harder than the last few. It was against the Kumogakure, who Konoha had been on the rocks with recently.

When one of Tobirama’s students, Uchiha Kagami stood in the doorway instead, I knew something terrible had happened. His deep black eyes stared over my shoulder so grimly, unable to meet my eyes. He was ashamed. I could feel it radiating from his form. I could feel many things from people, but this boy screamed pain, sorrow, and shame.

“What’s happened, Kagami-san?” I asked him calmly, even though I felt my stomach doing somersaults. “Where is Tobirama?”

“We were surrounded by Kinkaku’s Squad, and they had the upper hand. Lord Second, he…”

“Well?”

“I’m so sorry, Hatake-san,” he croaked, his voice finally cracking under the pressure. He looked into my eyes, the tears now rising up in the corners, sparkling in the candlelight illuminating the room. I shifted on my crutch, staring up at him with desperation in my eyes. I wanted him to say something else, anything other than the obvious. “He volunteered to act as a decoy so we could escape. I’m so sorry.”

My lips started to quiver. I couldn't come up with anything to really say. I could only muster out a pathetically miserable, “please no.” My knees suddenly felt very weak beneath me, and I was only really being held up by my crutch. My fingers tightly wrapped around the handle and squeezed so tightly it stung, and could have bruised.

But nothing mattered.

The tears that threatened to fall pooled up heavily in my eyes, and I hissed when the salty bits stung. “No. No. Please, God, no. Please don't.”

I pleaded and begged, my hand pressed to my mouth to muffle the cries. It was becoming harder and harder to breath. My head spun, dizzy and disoriented.

It felt like my entire life had been torn down in a single second. Every single thing I had ever built up was suddenly being crushed into the ground into thousands of irreparable pieces.

Tears streamed down my face thickly, hot and steady without signs of stopping. I didn’t know when I could stop crying. Nothing could have prepared me for the death of someone I loved more than life itself. Tobirama was the only person I had left in this damn world, and now I was alone. I was completely and utterly lost in this cruel world, crippled and sick and tired and heartbroken beyond fixing.

Kagami took a step forward and extended his arms, as if I needed to hug him. The only person I wanted to hold in my arms was Tobirama, and he was the one causing all this pain. It’s disturbing how misery works out that way. I shoved the boy back with all the strength my weak, broken soul could muster. He stumbled away from the threshold just enough for me to slam the door in his face.

Maybe that was rude and harsh and terribly uncalled for, but this death; fate didn’t need to torture me this way. To steal the one thing I held precious. Fate stole my legs from me, stole my mobility, stole my livelihood...and now it had forcibly taken the love of my life from my hands. The last thing that brought me any happiness.

I broke down on the floor right in front of the door, sliding down the wood frame and collapsing in a heap of shakes and quivers. I bent down so close that my forehead pressed to the hardwood, tears and slobber pooling on the ground beneath me. I grabbed at my hair and yanked it, trying to feel something other than this shockwave to my heart.

But nothing was going to help. The only thing I could do for now was scream and cry until I fell asleep, and even then, my dreams were not empty. They were plagued with him. Images of him constantly swirled in my mind. I woke up in cold sweats screaming or sobbing.

And I wasn’t the only one hurt by this. My ninkin couldn’t stand to see me this way. They knew me as a strong woman, one who could face death without flinching. Now, I was just a broken shell of the woman I used to be. I lost my father and mother, my brother Hashirama, and my best friend. It was only now that I was completely hollow to the core.

_________________________

“Hiruzen, did you get the final exam paperwork I dropped off earlier?” I asked, peeking my head into the Hokage's office where he sat over a stack of stark white papers. The man, one in which I watched grow into the great leader he was today, smiled and waved me into the room.

He peered over the sheet in his hand and hummed. “Impressive test results, Y/N. I have to say, you might be the most effective teacher at the academy.”

I nodded proudly, leaning on the wall to keep myself steady. I still had trouble keeping myself balanced at times, and I had pains shoot up my thighs randomly at times from the lasting impact the jinjuriki had on my muscles, but I no longer needed the crutch.

After Tobirama died, I left my position as Hokage's advisor. Instead I went to work at the academy where Tobirama dedicated much of his time and effort into creating. I didn't have to fight nor did I have to move around much on my feet. It was only simple stationary jutsu and chakra control, which I was still exceptional at.

Hiruzen was more than happy to have me help around. He was just glad I wasn't torn to shreds to the point where I could do nothing but stay inside.

“Thank you. That means a lot, really.”

“You're looking well? Is the medicine Tsunade made for you helping?”

“Yes! I swear that girl is miracle worker,” I laughed. The blond who grew up to be one of the most outstanding medical nin alive, produced a pain killer for me and it worked better than I'd ever dreamed. “I'm glad she picked up the medical practice. We really needed a good doctor in this village.”

“I heard you once tried to train with her?”

“Yeah. I figured it would be good to acquire another skill I could use without my full mobility. Turns out being a med nin is way harder than I thought,” I told him. “Props to Tsunade and the other nurses, honestly.”

Just as Hiruzen was about to say something else, the door behind me slid open and hurried little footsteps rushed into the room.

“Mom?” The soft, boyish voice rang out. “Kagami told me you were in here.”

I turned around, peering over at my 12 year old son, standing in the doorway shyly. He was a sweet boy, one of the kindest I'd ever met. It was the way I raised him, I suppose, and that made me proud.

He had dark eyes and gray hair that spiked in all directions. It was the natural way of the Hatake clan. He was tall, almost as tall as me even though he was just a child. He stood tall and proud, ready to impress. My son was a talented ninja, gifted even.

I worried he picked up some of my clumsiness or even my mediocre abilities, but it was quite the opposite. He was stunning much like his father. He moved with grace yet so much strength. He was reserved, but when he spoke it was never foolish.

“Sakumo, sweetheart, did you need something?”

“Yeah, actually. I wanted to know if I could go to dinner with Rei and Shikari?” He asked. I only nodded, rolling my eyes. He loved to spend his time with his friends, particularly a Nara and an Uchiha.

“Be back home before eleven, okay?”

He smiled triumphantly, even though I rarely told him no. He was such a good kid, I normally trusted him “Of course, Mom. Thanks.” My sweet boy ran from the room, waving to us on the way out.

I turned back to the Hokage sheepishly. “Sorry about that.”

“It's fine, Y/N. I actually enjoy seeing the child. It's like Lord Second is still with us in him.”

“Yeah. You're telling me.”

“He would have made a good father, I think.”

I laughed, rolling my eyes to the ground. I felt a pang in my chest. Yeah, I would have loved if Tobirama lived long enough to help me raise our son, to teach him all his talents and pass down the title of Hokage even.

“I think he would have been a disastrous father. Loving, yes, but he would have been so confused and lost. He never knew what to do with children.”

“Yes, but a father has a special connection with his own son, his own blood.”

“One day I know they will meet. And Tobi will be so proud of him.”

“I think he'll be proud of you the most, Y/N.” I hated when people told me stuff like that. When they mentioned how Tobirama and I used to be. When they made me fall in love with him all over again. I hated missing him every time they spoke in his memory.

I blinked back tears in my eyes and averted my gaze to the door. “That's more than enough, Hiruzen. Maybe we can talk about this some other time. Just not right now, yeah?”

“Of course. I hope you have a great rest of your day,” he nodded, wishing me the best of luck as I exited his classroom. And as I walked the empty hall, I swallowed my sorrow.

With time, I would see him again. The wait would always be worth it, as long as he remained in my heart. That's because Tobirama would always be unique. He was my first love and my last.

And that's the end! Did you like this kind of writing or hate it? Give me some feedback if you want and have a really nice day!

[usratonkachi]

sasuke uchiha’s trajectory / a pro-sasuke meta.

Sasuke was more than just a rebel, spoiled and “whining emo kid” that wanted revenge, I can prove it.

Contains anti Konoha, shinobi system, Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, Danzou, Hiruzen, Tobirama, SS/SNS arguments, so if you're not ready to handle criticism against your favourite character or ship, don't even read it.

This is for people to think more deeply about Sasuke and his actions, so you don't have to fully agree. But I'm not open for critics or similar. I'm exposing what I think, what I saw and how I interpreted Sasuke's trajectory. If you strongly do not agree with or get offended by anything under the cut,  that's not my problem so you can complain over there, don't @ me.

However, if you have any real doubts, other valid arguments to add, or you just want to talk about what you just read / discuss about anything you politely disagree with, you can contact me here or here, or chat me on tumblr itself. I'm not changing my mind though.

Also, a big thank you to my friend who translated from pt-br for me because I’m too lazy. Love you, Konan. ♡

1. WHEN SASUKE LEFT KONOHA:

Here's where Sasuke starts being hated by the Naruto fanbase because it's when he stops acting according to what Konoha believes he's supposed to. But, before hating him, there's a lot of things to acknowledge about.

Sasuke always believed to be an avenger ever since the Uchiha massacre. Even when he began to blend in well on Team 7's dynamic, as soon as Itachi landed feet in Konoha again and he failed to defeat him, he came back to believe in such fact. Thus, he wanted to grow stronger.

Not just for seeking to be stronger, Sasuke also feels like he doesn't belong to Konoha anymore. Sakura never understood the pain of having everything that matters the most taken away, Naruto never really had anything and Kakashi, the only one who could connect to him, only pushes him away.

1.2. KAKASHI:

Although what people think, Kakashi and Sasuke's relationship was deeper than it seemed. Kakashi was someone that made Sasuke feel safe and vehemently trained him for the Chuunin Exam. In a summary, Sasuke trusted Kakashi and had him as a mentor.

Instead of offering Sasuke the emotional support he needed, Kakashi basically fought him for using one of his jutsu against an ally even though Naruto had done it too and could just have killed him as well. Beyond that, he insults him multiple times and doesn't take his only goal seriously. He tied up the boy to a tree like he was some kind of animal, for God’s sake.

You can read more about Sasuke and Kakashi’s relationship in this awesome analysis.

This is only the beginning of Konoha trying to make Sasuke feel guilty for everything he did and wanted to do, when actually all his hate and thirst for revenge was perfectly comprehensive, since he lost everything to the system he lives in.

1.2. SAKURA:

Besides comparing her pain of losing him with his pain of having his whole family murdered by his own brother, Sakura still blackmails him emotionally because it's all about what SHE wants, about what SHE feels. It only shows she doesn't really understand him.

1.3. NARUTO:

Naruto, just like the rest, also doesn't get Sasuke's goals and motivations and tries to stop him from seeking power with Orochimaru, even if he has to "break his arms and legs".

In a summary, the approach of these three didn’t work. Naruto thought he could handle everything with his fists, Sakura thought making it about her own feelings was a good idea, but their lack of maturity is understadable. However, Kakashi understating Sasuke’s pain, like he wasn’t allowed to feel that way because Kakashi himself didn’t (it’s not even the same situation lmao), only made it all worse and was a decisive reason for him to leave.

2. WHEN SASUKE "ALLIED" HIMSELF TO OROCHIMARU.

Besides what everyone thinks, Sasuke doesn't really allied himself to Orochimaru or condoned with his ideology like Anko or Kabuto. He didn't intend for him to possess his body, not before killing Itachi. He wanted to train and get strong.

To this point, Sasuke literally didn't do anything questionable. During training, he never killed anyone or acted as cold as he wanted people to think he was. That's why he says "I'll be merciless in front of him (Itachi)," because that's something he has to force himself to become, not something he is.

One more proof Sasuke never shared Orochimaru's goals and, instead, used him as a way to obtain more power is his speech before "killing him", where he questions his goals and ways.

After Orochimaru's "death", Sasuke frees all his prisoners and victims of his experiment, including Suigetsu, Juugo and Karin. In Juugo's case, he offered himself to be his "prison", stopping him from hurting even more people.

In pursuit of Zabuza's sword, Sasuke prevents Suigetsu from killing just any person.

3. WHEN SASUKE LEARNT THE TRUTH ABOUT ITACHI.

This is a crucial point in Sasuke's history because it's where he finds out that the brother whom he always had the goal to kill in revenge actually did everything in order for him to stay alive and become a hero.

At this point, it's important to keep in mind that Sasuke accomplished his lifetime goal, the only thing he believed he was alive for. Many times he said he didn't care as to what happened with his life after that moment, so it is unimaginable the misery and emptiness that he felt. Pay close attention to the expression of his eyes.

Not even the sight of another Uchiha alive took this expression of pure misery from his eyes. That’s how broken he was at this point.

Obito took advantage of Sasuke's mental instability to pour over him all the truth about Itachi. At the minimal possibility of all the acknowledge about his brother and his entire life being a lie, he breaks down, literally blacks out.

At this moment, there is a giant lack of critical sense from the fandom. Sasuke finds out that Itachi was coerced to do a mission to save his life at the behest of the Konoha leaders. So it's OBVIOUS that he couldn't return to Konoha after knowing the truth.

Many think that, since he knew Itachi did everything for the Village (which wasn't exactly the truth because he'd feel doubtful before, but made his decision once Sasuke's life was threatened), Sasuke should, too. But instead, he hates who made Itachi suffer.

Not only because of his brother, Sasuke hates Konoha for the way it treated his clan, with mistrustfulness and discrimination over one of the families that helped founding the Village.

"Even in the middle of the most profound despair, his eyes reflect a single ray of hope"*. That summarises well how Sasuke felt without any perspective of life, but grabbed onto the first shadow of objective that was offered. Obito knew how to take advantage of Sasuke's misery.

*This is a sentence that is written on chapter’s 400 art cover but I couldn’t find it in English.

4. WHEN SASUKE INVADED THE KAGES' REUNION.

Recruited to Akatsuki and manipulated by Tobi, Sasuke made his first move directly against Konoha when he appeared at the Kages' reunion to face Danzou, one of the responsibles for his clan's genocide and Itachi's sacrifice.

Sasuke's plan was to find Danzou and destroy him like part of revenge against Konoha, but Zetsu alerts the Kages about his presence in the place, which causes everyone to fight against him.

From here on, Taka starts to question Sasuke's sanity multiple times because of the sudden change in his chakra. Gathering all the precious traumas, the guilt for Itachi's death and sacrifice and the hate over who made him go through it, he was on the edge of going mad.

At this point, Sasuke doesn't put anything above his goals. Danzou confirms that Itachi's sacrifice was true and nothing else matters to him, so he kills Danzou and sacrifices Taka. After that, he realises Sakura's intention to kill him and strikes back, trying to kill her as well.

Then Sakura tries to kill him once again, and once again he defends himself trying to kill her back. The same happens with Naruto and Kakashi. So psychologically unstable, he doesn't even care about his physical limitations and insists on keep on fighting blindly.

We all know Sakura hesitated but Sasuke didn’t. His sight was troubled and she came from behind. He was defending himself.

Tobi advising him to kill Karin:

As much as Sasuke was reluctant because he wanted to be definitely full hatred, vulnerable regarding physical strength, he voluntarily decides to hear what Naruto has to say.

Then Naruto starts the “because we’re friends” talk and Sasuke clearly feels kind of affected because he actually wants that bond so badly but he also wants justice for his brother and clan, about what he’s totally right.

In a summary, besides the declared intention to kill Karin after she was hit because of his shaken up sanity, Sasuke acted in self defense and in defense of his goals, what ended up not killing anyone.

5. WHEN SASUKE JOINED THE WAR.

Sasuke meets Itachi's edo tensei with still profound grudge over Konoha for what it did to his brother. He wanted answers from Itachi in order to confirm everything that was told by Tobi and Danzou.

The closer to Itachi he feels, the more Sasuke hates Konoha and wants to revenge his brother for being forced to sacrifice himself.

After confirming that Itachi's sacrifice for the village and himself was true, Sasuke falls into an internal conflict for not being certain of any concepts anymore; of a clan, a village, a shinobi, and even himself. To obtain answers, he resurrects Orochimaru to bring the Hokages back to life.

There is a lot of virtue and maturity in Sasuke's decision of understanding all the concepts through their stories. Patiently, he listens to Hashirama's version about everything to then come to a conclusion on what to do about his revenge and himself.

Hashirama talks about his and Madara's trajectory, inwardly connected to the Village's concept, which he had helped found. And allied to the concept of a ninja village, he defined sacrifice as one of the methods to protect it, which Madara stated would drag the Village into darkness, what was clearly a reference to Itachi and the Uchiha's sacrifice, culminating into Sasuke's personal hell. In the end, Hashirama ends up taking the responsibility for this method being considerated valid to protect the Village.

In front of all that, Sasuke, for now, decides to battle next to the Shinobi Alliance so that his brother's sacrifice wouldn't have been in vain. Next to Naruto and Sakura, he seals Kaguya and has an important part in the world's salvage. Without him, there would literally be no way to save it.

Besides all of that, he still recognised the mistake he made on Karin and asked for her forgiveness.

An addendum: SASUKE DID NOT TRY TO KILL SAKURA IN THIS MOMENT like a lot of people try to decontextualise. He put her in a GENJUTSU, the same way Itachi did to himself after the Uchiha's massacre. One more reenforcement to his attempt of cutting his ties with the previous Team 7.

6. WHEN SASUKE BATTLED NARUTO.

To this point, Sasuke comes to an obvious conclusion, but that requires extreme perspicacity from a 17 year old kid: Konoha's problem was its system. The failure that would allow sacrifices like Itachi's to happen was structural.

Even Orochimaru, when resurrected, acknowledges Sasuke's maturing.

With that in mind, Sasuke decides to become a Hokage and lead a revolution that would change the shinobi system and would nip the world's evil in the bud.

Sasuke's revolution consisted in following Itachi's steps, his great inspiration and influence, sacrificing himself to carry alone all the hate in the world. The intention of it was to unify the whole world and that only he would have to deal with the Villages' darkness.

This new goal of him destroys every argument against him that paints him as someone egocentric and selfish. Everything Sasuke wished for was to deal with the darkness by himself in a way that there wouldn't be any more sacrifices like Itachi's or of children like himself and Naruto.

Therefore, as noble as his objectives were and as mature as they sounded for his age, Sasuke sins on the chosen ways to start his revolution (even though I wouldn’t mind if he killed the kages whereas all their war crimes). Still, it's comprehensive since he started using Itachi's example as a guide of his actions.

Sasuke then apologised for all the suffering he caused his friends, even though it wasn't really his fault. He felt so responsible for the bad events that he left on a redemption trip to see the world with his own eyes, proving his maturity once again.

7. WHEN SASUKE LEFT ON A MISSION.

I want to start this section saying how much I despise for personal reasons (it’s explained at the end of this meta) canon adult Sasuke for what Kishimoto did to his character but I defend him anyway because he’s still hated for absolutely wrong reasons.

Apart from everything he went through previously, Sasuke was brainwashed accepted the position of shadow Hokage and started to protect Konoha even if the village never had redeemed itself for its crimes against his brother and clan.

He sacrificed almost an entire life next to his wife and daughter in favour of not only Konoha, but the world, since he was the only one who could track traces of Kaguya thanks to his Rinnegan. In the meantime, he saved the village again and again.

Sasuke is constantly judged for pointing out a sword in Sarada's direction on their first meeting, although there wasn't how he'd know that, out of all people, she would be there (thank you Naruto you’re so responsible, no wonder you’re such a good parent lmao) considering there were sharingan user clones walking around.

Anyhow, he saved his daughter when it was needed and searched for Sakura to guarantee her safety, even though he had defended that she would be fine since she was as strong as him and Naruto. Besides, he AGAIN helped saving everyone.

FINAL CONSIDERATIONS & PERSONAL ANALYSIS.

Sasuke was a child that had everything and lost it all in the most traumatising way possible to the person he loved the most, ordered by the Village he grew in. He saw his family BEING SLAUGHTERED thousands of times in Itachi's genjustu when he was just a kid.

He had his only goal ripped from him on his teen years when getting rid of the target of his revenge only to learn that he actually had sacrificed himself on HIS BEHALF, since his LIFE WAS THREATENED by the superiors responsible for Konoha.

Although being a completely traumatised child and psychologically shaken up, being manipulated by his brother first, then by many others who only wanted to take advantage of his abilities, Sasuke still became aware of the world enough to want to change it for the better.

The revolutionary ideals that conferred depth to the character and made him promising were devastated because antagonists are portrayed as "insane", "out of their minds", "dominated by hatred" so we'll think the revolution of systems is a crazy people thing.

Sasuke was a victim of the system that allows 13 year old children to kill their families in sacrifice of a "greater cause", like this kid and theret family weren't part of who deserved protection. If he had controversial actions, Konoha and its system are the ones to blame.

The real guilty ones are Tobirama, who SEGREGATED the Uchiha without a reason; Hiruzen, that didn't have any tact or pulse to deal with Danzou and the Uchiha; and Danzou, whose crimes I don't even have to mention because they're common sense. If you want to blame someone, these are the ones.

Even though the real guilty ones were previously mentioned, Sasuke was thrown in jail and still got scolded by the greatest Sixth Hokage, his said mentor, who told him to "try not to go mad again", like it was his fault for being traumatised thanks to the Village.

And that's why I hate the ending of my favourite character. It has nothing to do with some kind of ship like many may think (even though I’d much prefer him to end with someone who could really understand him), but because he was distorted to fit in a stupid and conformist narrative, when he had a marvellous potential as a character.

And as if it's not enough, he's hated and made fun of in the fanbase, even though he's the only one, among the kids, to really make sense, even with all the traumas he suffered. Even when he had proved not to be selfish, or dumb, nor egocentric or a terrible father or an abusive husband and etc.

Sasuke Uchiha did nothing wrong and I just proved it. If you, a possible anti who read it all the way here, still want to keep in the ignorance of hating the character based on his actions then that's on you. I've done my part. That's it. Now go love my baby cause he deserves it. ♡

I couldn’t get to all of these opinions without help, so I’m recommending some important pro-Sasuke posts (besides the ones I already did during the post).

Sasuke changing the shinobi system thread. About adult Sasuke. Sasuke’s “crimes”. Sasuke’s protectiveness 1 and 2. Anti SasuSaku fandom. Naruto’s feelings for Sasuke. The Fucking Will Of Fire™. Why pro-Sasuke people are pro-Sasuke anyway? Anti-SNS. Sasuke’s guilt trip.

pt-br twitter thread / pt-br tumblr trans