#Lol. 10 hours later...
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PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 6
If you're curious, Soap and Ghost's final score is 28-3
Only one part left! (unless it turns out too long again lol). Honestly can't believe this is almost finished...
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#cod fanart#cod ghost#cod soap#cod gaz#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#cod mwii#modern warfare 2#mw2#i spent literally all day today finishing this up#like... actually around 10 hours#my wrist fuckin hurts but its worth it lmao#the difference between soap's face at the start of this series and the end is insane he looks so much better now lol#ghostsoap#ghoap#angst#2 hours later i realized i forgot some tags lmao
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perfect
#he deserves it#baby boyyy im so happy#hes so good?????#yes im like 10 hours late but i was asleep#dino p1 paul p2 landoscar p3-4#perfect 🫶🫶🫶🫶#also i didn’t understand why pepe fell down so much? i think I missed something?? or was his pit stop just really bad#not talking about his penalty#thougHHH if were going there…. i have so much to say#sure it was bad from him but the irregularity in the stewards’ decisions this weekend#crazy#tsolov getting THREE PLACES grid penalty? pepe getting 10 seconds (the same penalty isack got for taking out two cars)?????#ill probs make a post just about that later lol#paul aron#f1#f2#formula two#formula 2
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I always think a lot of Mickey’s trauma that he buried pretty deep will hit him really really hard post canon.
He’s been in survival mode his whole life so he suppressed a lot of what happened to him just to get through life. He didn’t have the option of dealing with it.
Post canon, things will likely finally slow down for him - less money worries because they have their business, no threat of Terry coming after him, not doing many illegal things so less constant fear of getting caught for something and going back to jail.
So he’ll finally be able to relax a bit and, in his mind, start living and enjoying things in life.
But I think once life slows down, all the trauma from his childhood all the way to adulthood will hit him like a truck. Even things he hasn’t thought about in years will really start affecting him.
And I think he’d get frustrated with himself because he wouldn’t be able to understand why he’s doing so much worse when things are finally good.
But that’s actually why he’s doing so much worse. Because he doesn’t need to constantly prepared for something going wrong, so there’s space for other things in his mind, so everything he’s buried would come right to the surface.
I feel like he’d go through a pretty hard time before he can start to get better because he’ll have to face things he’s suppressed head on, because he won’t be able to bury them any more.
#I see it manifesting in intense flashbacks and panic attacks and nightmares#among other things#I think it would get to the point where he’d have no choice but to get help#he’d probably go kicking and screaming but he’d need to do it#I’m not a psychiatrist but always thought he’d have PTSD#i also think this is why so many people don’t understand his character in the later seasons because they expect him to be this#perfectly healed communicative adult#but in reality he’s still very traumatized and in survival mode and therefore hasn’t truly dealt with anything#and that has a massive impact on his actions even though he doesn’t realize it#mickey milkovich#gallavich#shameless#shameless us#Mickey Milkovich meta#similarly I think when Ian realises he was groomed by Kash and ned he’ll have to deal w all that and it’ll be hard#I travelled for 10 hours today and this was all I wrote lol
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hozier starting to sing take me to church and then unfurling a pride flag healed something in me actually
if you listen closely you can hear me yell ‘oh my god’ when he does it
#(don’t listen too closely though I’m a bad singer lol)#I tried to post this Sunday night but it didn’t go through#I had no idea he was going to do it I almost cried#not leverage#hozier#slept at our airbnb for like 4 hours#woke up for an hour until Cumbies would be open so I could get breakfast (5am)#and then drove over 2.5 hours to get back home in time to get prepared for work#I ended up teaching my two hour group and then working till twelve and taking the rest of the day off#I forgot my meds so I slept ten hours until 10 at night 💀#worth it#seeing him was a spiritual experience fr#and this was like SO spontaneous. like I cannot express enough how much I didn’t plan for this#also I literally got my tickets saturday when the show was sunday. thank u stubhub ur a true mvp#I knew my friends were going and were staying overnight and someone in my facebook group was selling tickets last minute and was like 👀👀👀#I’m not gonna go into how she decided to sell to someone else later that day when I had already made plans and made me cry but whatever#it worked out in the end
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Neon was bored and so I proposed we look at the Hazbin Hotel cast and redesign one of em! (<-We've been planning this for a while-)
I twas assigned my favorite lil guy, Pentious, and I'm pretty happy w/ it!
His normal design is great, but it always gives me Bananna Slug vibes, so my main goal was to make him noticeably More Snake-like.
Obviously this design is mostly just me imposing my preferences, but I thought it was fun lol!
#light's spot#my art#art#redesign#hazbin hotel#sir pentious#sir pentious redesign#he's such a silly little guy#I wanted to add a gear motif too but it got a bit lost in translation lol#literally took me exactly 1 hour 10 minutes (I recorded it for potential content later on)
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I increased the size for more sparkle. more power
#greetings 10 months later lol <3#game grumps#danny sexbang#mod unicorn#I'm gonna start bringing some power hour stuff over here :)
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~ "With dogs, you're always smiley." - "... There's one dog that won't get to see me smile. What are you doing here? Are you here to consult the dog since you started school three weeks late?" ~ "Just pet the dog. Don't turn into one."
~ "Why are you looking at me? Say what you want." - "... Nothing. The dog is pretty cute, wouldn't you say?"
#nof's nonsense#spongebob title card 2 days later...#i have spent upwards of like. 10 hours trying to figure out how i want this to look and well. whatever.#throws it to the wind#ecllipsis gif has to be pixelly#i just rly like that second scene bc its like. the first time akk is silly/flirty around aye. so i wanted to gif it#and then i remembered that that other scene literally takes place in the same ep two days earlier. hilarious. akk can NOT keep his promises#also aye getting flicked w water is funny#the eclipse#gifset#nofedits#ayeakk#idc if ppl call it akkaye its ayeakk to me.#gifs are fun to make and format and stuff however. i get sucked in. spent like 7 straight hours working on it last night#haha. tbf i was very indecisive this time. ended up throwing a lot of ideas out#and its not even that unique. but whatever it's something to do. fun and frustrating at the same time#thaiql#the eclipse the series#usually post gifs in the middle of the night but im doing it now so i dont try to change things again later lol#sorry mutuals#nofedits.eclipse
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AHHGHHH FRYYYEEE!!!!
#splatoon#lol i went to bed at 10 thinking yeah thwyre probably not gonna post anything else#wake up 3 hours later and oops!! looks like the did post!! damn#and team skeletons <3 yes im picking just for frye can u blame me when she looks so good
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DUDE WTF???? Your job is so fucked up what do you do???
Retail
#sid answers#mutuals#carrie#we’re open for 10 hours on sundays instead of 11#so on sundays they only have one manager for the whole day#and i have to get there half an hour early and stay half an hour later#i got a thirty minute break where i got to eat and rest but that was it#i was in so much pain lol
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re: your tags in your reblog about how taylor hasn't felt the need to fly back to the states during the euro leg and how travis was the one to go to her during his off season and the surprise pikachu of it all for her. think there are several things that have elicited that reaction from her where she's realized no, it didn't have to be the way it was despite maybe being made to feel the opposite at the time
Yup.
Again this is probably veering close to territory I don't/shouldn't get into on main because ultimately I don't think there's anything to add and it's all stuff we'll never know.
That being said, lol, I think there's been a lot in the last year that Taylor's discovered that has made her wonder about why she felt she needed to do things the way she did, and I don't even just mean in terms of her relationship. We've all kind of seen her blossoming in ways I suspect surprised even her.
But relationship-wise, I wouldn't be surprised if the way things seem to have felt easy and secure from the start with Travis made her wonder why it couldn't have been with other people in the past (ahem) and more than a little angry for a bit about how easy it is for her current partner to be supportive in a way that comes naturally when her previous one(s)... was(were) not. Obviously I can't speak for Taylor, but I certainly would have a moment of Petty Betty-ness for a little bit.
#Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey#Anonymous#i still wonder if that's part of why there were some low-key clapbacks last fall#between the surprise songs and some media responses and--#you know#lol this feels analogous to when I started my new job after getting laid off from my old one that I'd been at for nearly 10 years#and how I spent years being underpaid and having shitty schedules and ending up with like actual months-worth of vacation time#because i was never able to take it#and it was just the way it was but I stayed for so long because it was like 'family'#and then i started my new job (albeit in a new field in some ways) and I got paid way more and better hours and a super supportive boss#who like nurtured my desire to grow and move up#instead of my old boss who I considered a friend who was like 'lol we're cutting your hours so that you're not full time anymore#but you're a super valued member of the team and we can't do this without you!'#anyway i nearly cried the first time I heard it's time to go and then got laid off weeks later lmao#and I had a crying breakdown after I started my new job because i was like 'things can be this easy????'#'i don't have to struggle paycheque to paycheque and i don't have to work 7 days a week on the whims of others' schedules???'#'and I can actually have a life and not feel guilted for not being a team player???' anyway lol
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didn't do hermit a day drawing yesterday because
- i fell asleep AT MY DESK while working on commissions, woke up after an hour having literally fallen asleep with my head on my drawing . had a piece of paper glued to my forehead
- was so exhausted i lay down on the floor after finishing working and couldn't get up for an hour
- almost fell asleep in the evening fully clothed with my jeans on
- got into pyjamas and fell asleep sat upright on my bed with all the lights on while trying to write a to do list
.... yeah
#going to draw gem later i swear. i don't wanna miss someone i'll cry#i have so much commission work to do i have like. 4 things due and i've only done 2 of them#explodes#I WANNA DO ALL THE HERMIT A DAY DRAWINGS JUSTICE I DON'T WANNA HALF ASS THEM....#health is more important tho lol#... i'm chronically ill. in case it's not obvious . although it's still not normal to fall asleep literally Anywhere from exhaustion lol#also also. i get 10 hours sleep minimum every night#yeah..
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"DEAD GAY SON" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)
Now, you're seeing the word "Dead" for the third time in my adapted songs. Am I obsessed with death? No, JD is, that's why it's there. I should also say I don't really like how this one came out, but I had to give you something in theme with pride month, even though this song isn't exactly the best (and I'm sorry for that but I would've had to adapt this song eventually and idk how but many people seem to find this song funny on YouTube so here you are). I should specify I could do way better with other songs and that I dislike how this one came out but it's very close to the original meaning (IMO) so here you have it, "Dead Gay Son". I'm also sorry for keeping the slur, but it was in the original song and adapting songs is (at least for me) keeping them as close as possible to the original meaning while keeping them singable. Also I fucked up the syllables and rhymes so bad
ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)
(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)
[PAPÀ DI RAM, parlato] Aspetta solo un minuto, Paul! È parlare in modo ignorante e odioso come fai tu che rende questo un posto che i nostri ragazzi non sopportavano!
(cantato) Non erano sconci! Non era una svistina! Eran due versi solitari Nella grande canzone divina!
[PAPÀ DI KURT, parlato] I nostri figli erano finocchi, Bill!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Sì! Mio figli'è un omosessuale E di questo non mi vergognerei— Voglio che il mondo sappia... Amo il mio morto figlio gay!
(parlato) Sono stato a pensare. Pregare. Leggere un po' di riviste. Ed è tempo di aprire le nostre menti!
(cantato) Beh, il buon Dio l'universo ha fatto Dio ha creato l'umanità E penso che sia parte del suo piano nella sua immensità So che Dio ha una ragione Per ogni oceano ed ogni goccia E perché ha deciso di lasciar i ragazzi farsi nella doccia! Non erano sconci— Non erano animali! Eran due lacci isolati nei divini stivali! Non m'è mai'mportato tanto di gay ma ora me ne interesserei
[PAPÀ DI RAM & CONGREGAZIONE] E ora ho imparato ad amare…
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Amo il mio morto figlio gay!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Ama suo figlio Ama suo figlio Il suo morto gay figlio!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Ora, dico che mio figli'è in Paradiso! E che s'abbronza in piscina Il cherubino cammina con loro e, Gesù dice ch'è 'na cosa carina! Non hanno crimini o odio, non ci sono bigottismo o'nsulti - Solo persone amichevoli vestite come i loro compaesani preferiti! Non erano sconci—
[CONGREGAZIONE] No, no!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Si sentivano rimossi!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Whoa!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Nei lunghi capelli di Dio eran due elastici rossi Prima quando vedevo un gay avrei detto "Gli sparerei"
[PAPÀ DI RAM & CONGREGAZIONE] Ma ora ho imparato ad amare…
[PAPÀ DI RAM] E per di più! Quei due, eran coraggiosissimi! Quei due, ne erano coscientissimi! Quelli li avrebbero giudicati, eran disperati d'esser liberi! Si son comportati da ribelli, nudi quasi ai gioielli! Paul, non posso credere Che continui a rifiutar di capire Quest'è quel che eravam destinat'a fare—
(parlato) Parlo di me e te! Nell'estate dell'83!
[PAPÀ DI KURT, parlato] Quello è stato un viaggio particolare
[CONGREGAZIONE] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa! Non erano sconci— No! E non solo una percossa— No, no! Erano dello strass Sulla divina borsa!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Il nostro lavoro è di fare quel che da tempo pensavo: "Lo farei"!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Perché ora amiamo, amiamo, amiamo Amiamo i vostri—
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Sono sù là al battito delle ali angeliche a ballar!
[PAPÀ DI KURT] Un compagno prendono…
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Verso l'un l'altro si tendono—
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Mentre Judy Garland sta a cantar!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Vivono una seconda vita spensierata e spericolata!
[PAPÀ DI KURT] Si dondolan sul cancello incastonato—
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ & CONGREGAZIONE] E hanno una collana incastonata!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Whoo!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Non erano sconci!
[CONGREGAZIONE] No!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ & CONGREGAZIONE] Eran bravi uomini! E ora son felici cuccioli nella tana dei divini!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Andate avanti e amatevi ora Come avrebbe fatto mio figlio Insegneremo al mond'ad amar...
[CONGREGAZIONE] Al mond'ad amar...
[TUTTI] Al mond'ad amar...
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ sovrapponendosi con la congregazione] Amo il mio morto gay figlio! Mio figlio! Mio figlio!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Non tanto male, il tuo morto figlio gay! Vorrei aver il tuo morto figlio gay! Grazie, papà, per il tuo...
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ & CONGREGAZIONE] Morto! Figlio! Gay!
So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)
[RAM'S DAD, spoken] You wait just a minute, Paul! It is this ignorant, hateful way of talking like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not tolerate!
(sung) They were not dirty(but as in filthy/indecent)! It (I mean as in their "love" but can't find a way to specify it) wasn't a small oversight! They were two lonely verses In the great divine(/heavenly? I don't really know how to translate that but it's as in God's/Heaven's) song!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] Our sons were pansies, Bill!
[RAM'S DAD] Yes! My son's a homosexual And of that I wouldn't be ashamed (for the rhyme)— I want the world to know... I love my dead gay(those two got inverted [gay and son])son!
(spoken) I've remained to think. To pray. To read some magazines. And it's time we opened our minds!
(sung) Well, the good Lord made the universe The Lord created humanity And I believe it's all a part of his plan in its immensity I know God has a reason For each ocean and drop And why he chose to let our boys do each other in the shower! They were not dirty(/filthy/indecent)— They were not animals (it fit for the rhyme)! They were just two stray laces in the divine(/Heaven's/the Lord's) big boots Well, I never cared for homos much but now I would be interested [RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] And now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] I love my dead gay(inverted in this part [son and gay])son!
[CONGREGATION] He loves his son He loves his son His dead gay son!
[RAM'S DAD] Now, I say my boy's in Heaven! And he's tanning by the pool The cherubim walks with them, and Jesus says it's cute! They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or insults - Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite fellow village Person! They were not dirty(filthy/indecent)—
[CONGREGATION] No, no!
[RAM’S DAD] They felt removed (for the rhyme)!
[CONGREGATION] Whoa!
[RAM’S DAD] They were two bright red rubberbands in God's long hair Before(,) when I saw a homo(/gay) I would've said "I'd shoot him" [RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] But now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] And furthermore! These boys were very brave! These boys , they were very conscient of it! Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free! They behaved like rebels, stripped almost to their jewels(/balls/testicles)! Paul, I can't believe That you keep on refusing to understand This is what we were meant to be doing—
(spoken) I'm talkin’ you and me! In the summer of '83!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] That was one particular trip
[CONGREGATION] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa! They were not dirty(/filthy/indecent)— No! And not only a hit (because they were bullies and hit people and that's what they were recognised from? Would that make sense?)— No, no! (Damn ok thanks for the confirmation) They were rhinestones On the divine(/Heaven's/God's) purse!
[BOTH DADS] Our job is now doing what for long I thought: "I'd do this"! [CONGREGATION] 'Cause now we love, love, love! We love your dead—
[RAM’S DAD] They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!
[KURT’S DAD] They grab a mate…
[RAM’S DAD] And lean(more like tend/stretch) toward each other—
[BOTH DADS] While Judy Garland is singing!
[RAM’S DAD] They live a second life that's fancy-free and reckless!
[KURT'S DAD] They swing upon the gates with gemstones set inside them—
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] And wear a necklace with gemstones set inside it!
[CONGREGATION] Whoo!
[BOTH DADS] They were not dirty(/filthy/indecent)!
[CONGREGATION] No!
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] They were good men! And now they're happy cubs in the Gods' (yup the apostrophe placing is intentional and not a mistake, that's what I mean, I'm hinting at the trinity) den!
[BOTH DADS] Go forth and love each other now Like my boy would have done We'll teach the world to love...
[CONGREGATION] The world to love...
[ALL] The world to love...
[BOTH DADS overlapping with congregation] I love my dead gay son! My son! My son!
[CONGREGATION] Not half bad, your dead gay son! Wish I had your dead gay son! Thank you, dad, for your...
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] Dead! Gay! Son! OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):
[RAM'S DAD, spoken] You wait just a minute, Paul! It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not live in!
(sung) They were not dirty! They were not wrong! They were two lonely verses In the Lord's great song!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] Our boys were pansies, Bill!
[RAM'S DAD] Yes! My boy's a homosexual And that don't scare me none— I want the world to know... I love my dead gay son!
(spoken) I've been thinking. Praying. Reading some magazines. And it's time we opened our eyes!
(sung) Well, the good Lord made the universe The Lord created man And I believe it's all a part of his gigantic plan I know God has a reason For each mountain and each flower And why he chose to let our boys get busy in the shower! They were not dirty— They were not fruits! They were just two stray laces in the Lord's big boots Well, I never cared for homos much until I reared me one
[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] But now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] I love my dead gay son!
[CONGREGATION] He loves his son He loves his son His dead gay son!
[RAM'S DAD] Now, I say my boy's in heaven! And he's tanning by the pool The cherubim walk with him and him, and Jesus says it's cool! They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or cursin' - Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite Village Person! They were not dirty—
[CONGREGATION] No, no!
[RAM’S DAD] They just had flair!
[CONGREGATION] Whoa!
[RAM’S DAD] They were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun
[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] But now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] And furthermore! These boys were brave as hell! These boys , they knew damn well! Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free! They took a rebel stance, stripped to their underpants! Paul, I can't believe that you Still refuse to get a clue After all that we been through—
(spoken) I'm talkin’ you and me! In the summer of '83!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] That was one hell of a fishing trip
[CONGREGATION] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa! They were not dirty— No! And not perverse— No, no! They were just two stray rhinestones On the Lord's big purse!
[BOTH DADS] Our job is now continuing the work that they begun!
[CONGREGATION] 'Cause now we love, love, love! We love your dead—
[RAM’S DAD] They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!
[KURT’S DAD] They grab a mate…
[RAM’S DAD] And roller skate—
[BOTH DADS] While Judy Garland sings!
[RAM’S DAD] They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!
[KURT'S DAD] They swing upon the pearly gates—
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] And wear a pearly necklace!
[CONGREGATION] Whoo!
[BOTH DADS] They were not dirty!
[CONGREGATION] No!
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] They were good men! And now they're happy bear cubs in the Lord's big den!
[BOTH DADS] Go forth and love each other now Like our boys would have done We'll teach the world to love...
[CONGREGATION] The world to love...
[ALL] The world to love...
[BOTH DADS overlapping with congregation] I love my dead gay son! My son! My son!
[CONGREGATION] Not half bad, your dead gay son! Wish I had your dead gay son! Thank you, dad, for your...
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] Dead! Gay! Son! THE ONE I NOW COMPARE IT TO (29/5/24)
#heathers#heathers the musical#heathers 1989#paul kelly#bill sweeney#or however kurt and ram's dads are called#song adaptation#i'm sorry#in italiano#heathers fans my creativity has died I don't know what to tell you anymore#italian-speaking heathers fans look at the previous tag#i don't like this#i don't like it#except for one line/verse or two#non è ufficiale lol non so se hanno mai fatto la traduzione ufficiale o anche la traduzione#i tried to keep as many rhymes as possible#and failed miserably#some syllables got fucked up (not in a dead girl walking way but in an “i am damaged” way [tried my best])#and once again failed miserably#this machine runs on coffee adapts “heathers: the musical” songs in italian#dead gay son#also y'all remember you're gonna get another song at 9am (hour in France) or around that hour but later#though if you check tumblr at (hour in France) 10 you'll see it for sure#this one was made for pride month but i'm not proud of it#i would've eventually had to do it but still#i hate how it came out#the other one was the one that should've come out because yes I wanted it to come out#but yeah you guys still get this one because yes#it's not like it would've been better even if i'd done it another day later on
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Anyway how is everyone doing
#had to get up at 6 in the morning and therefore had 4 hours of sleep today (a weekly occurence pretty much)#so i just took a nap which took all evening and i'm still tired yayyyyy. because naps only work how they should about 10% of the time#and also i did nothing else today because sleep and now i'm truly wondering what to do with myself anymore#meanwhile i have to get up and go to school again tomorrow 😑 and the day after that 😑 and the day after that 😑#or i could drop out again and have nothing else to do anyway and continue rotting in my room#(whether it's my dorm room or my actual room doesn't matter). what's the pointtttttt#might be reaching some kind of limit or maybe i'm truly just dramatising and should just chill about it all#save me 4 hours of music listening now probably. idk man#got my minimal amount of social interaction today in the form of riding the elevator with 3 of the ppl from my course#when i could have (and normally would have) just taken the stairs instead#i feel like i made a big important step today that will help me later on through this year (no not really)#at least one thing i've noticed recently is that i might have the reverse of what is i guess is usually called seasonal depression#in the sense that now that it's chilly and cloudy and it gets dark earlier i feel like i'm finally LIVING in a way#the good effect of that will probably pass after a week or two though#but also just a bit over a month left now until my birthday and then my long awaited trip!!#anyone else get unreasonably excited for their birthday each year even though there's never anything special about it in the end#and that only makes the day more depressing lol#ok whatever i'm done whining now i think. music time then#celebrating (a bit late) one year of gratsax and lil beethoven today. some of the albums of all time for me personally#goosepost
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I don't care when people don't include me in stuff, I'm used to it but-----
my own family going on a trip w/o even asking me kinda felt
shit 🫠
#like i understand cuz they gave up on trying to talk to me butttttttt#why the fuck am i the villain in the story even like this 😭#its okay if u dont give a fuck abt me. but at least dont make me feel like i deserve it lol#like yes sorry but i have a reason for lowkey disliking all of you#and i know damn well all of you know why#yet they always say that it makes no sense i behave this way#behave this way means keeping my healthy distance and trying to move out asap#i dont spread hate and im not an asshole with them???#but me not acting all lovey dovey is a problem too#yes idk i always think i should cherish that they are still alive and i could better my relationship with them but#What to do when you can see your own dad literally hating you#like when he talks to me he always does so in a cynical and angry way#man im sorry i was born and shit its kind of your fault for not using a condom :/#lol okay i think imma delete this later but yes#yes i hate it that the only people i feel loved by are de*d ffsssssssssssssss#like all is well lately but i wish! love wouldn't only exist in my head man! im happy this way but when i realize the situation its kind of#pathetic and idk until how long#can i keep on staying sane like this lol#im kind of already insane if we think abt it but how long will it take me to lose my marbles completely 😭#yes this crisis was spiraled by just me not being included in a trip i wouldnt have gone to regardless if they asked me#but yes like. Idk they could have just told me at least😭 i called my sis in the morning and she responded like 10 hours later that they are#w dad and a womannn doing some funsies eating pancakes n shit 👻👻#i hate pancakes and i hate myself but 👻#im jealous of you guys frrrrr🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛ for being so normal n happy 🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛
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When it says you have new notes, but you check your activity page and there's nothing new on it
#it said i had 10 new notes and um. nothing#did an anti have a tantrum and block me or something lol#i hate not knowing. or maybe tumblr is just bugging out?#i've noticed sometimes even if i look at new notes it'll still show up with a '1' or something an hour later
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never heard nonstop thunder before. big fan 👍
#thunderstorm#hailstorm incoming#could listen to this for hours#what's interesting it even has some kind of rhythm going on#10 mins later it's still doing it#is that how an alien invasion sounds like#lol#asmr#ambience#ceraunophile
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