#and as much as i wish things were different right now
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smoke and mirrors - chris sturniolo
chapter three
summary: your best friend Matt backs out of plans you had made together, so you replace him with his brother. the only problem is the two of you can’t stand each other.
{enemies to lovers, fake dating}
includes : explicit language, fluff, smut(penetration, oral, fingering, etc.), angst if you squint, lots of bickering, slow burn
tw: slight body issues in this chapter.
wc: 3.2k
-
The wedding was in a week and you found yourself out shopping with the triplets trying to find Chris a tie that would match your dress, which was just a simple, deep red, slim fitting, sleeveless dress. It was sexy and flattering, but nowhere near enough to draw attention from the bride or bridal party.
You had been shopping for a while, mostly goofing off, but now you guys had made it to Men’s Warehouse and were actually looking for what you needed. You carried around a swatch of your dress color so you could find something as close as possible, holding it up to every dark red tie you found, but nothing was to your liking just yet.
“How about this one?” Chris asks, holding another one up, and you walk over and hold up your swatch, shaking your head. “Too bright,” you say, to which he groans.
“We’ve looked at like twenty different ties, one of these has to match,” he complains, putting the tie back.
“The perfect match is out there, I know it is. We just have to keep looking,” you tell him, still perusing the array of options throughout the store.
Matt and Nick followed behind you guys, chit chatting with each other while you and Chris bickered over whether or not the reds matched, which they obviously didn’t.
“Haven’t you ever seen those pictures on the internet?” You ask Chris.
He raises an eyebrow, looking down at you. “Very descriptive, I definitely have,” he replies sarcastically.
You roll your eyes. “You know, the ones where girls ask their boyfriend if they can tell the difference between two really similar nail polishes? Most of them can’t tell the difference, but women can! So when you say that these ties are ‘close enough’, they’re just not. It has to be perfect, these pictures are going to be around forever, and as much as I wish you weren’t in the pictures, I at least want to make sure we look good.”
“Stop comparing me to a boyfriend, dude, it’s getting weird,” Chris shudders at the thought and you just shake your head, knowing that he wasn’t listening to a damn thing you were saying and is just trying to rush through this store. “How about this one?”
Chris holds up a tie for you to look at, and you hold your swatch up to it, instantly beaming up at him. “It’s perfect!” You tell him, bouncing on your toes in excitement. “See? Don’t you see how well that matches?”
He looks down at the two colors pressed together and reluctantly nods. “Yeah, that looks pretty good,” he agrees.
“Great!” You smile, grabbing the tie from his hands. “Now we buy this and we’re all done.”
Chris lets out a sigh of relief and turns to his brothers, ready to be done conversing with you for the time being. He makes eye contact with Matt who smiles at him and mouths the words ‘help me’ while pointing towards your frame that happily skipped up to the register.
Matt laughed and patted Chris on the shoulder. “You agreed to it,” he tells him.
Back at the triplets house, you’re all crowded in Nick’s room, your dress laid out on his bed and Chris’s suit laid right next to it. “You put yours on first,” you tell him.
You wanted to see how you guys looked together before the actual day of the wedding, so you decided to try everything on now that you guys were both home and had corresponding outfits. You had brought your dress over earlier before you went shopping so that it was ready for you when you guys got back home.
Chris picks up his suit from the bed and walks into Nick’s bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
“How are you handling being Chris’s girlfriend?” Nick asks curiously, waggling his eyebrows at you.
You just laugh. “It’s not that bad, we just take pictures together every so often, but it’s just pictures. As much as I hate it I just have to remind myself that he’s giving me a date to a wedding so I don’t have to hear everyone asking me why I don’t have a boyfriend. A couple pictures in return for a night of silence sounds like a win to me.”
Nick and Matt chuckle, still shocked that you guys agreed to help each other in such an intimate way, considering your history.
“Why do I have a feeling you guys are going to fall in love?” Nick teases, but you just scoff at him.
“Yeah, right. I’d rather date you,” you smirk at Nick and make a kissy face towards him, leaning in like you were going to kiss him.
Nick cringes and puts his hand in your face, pushing you away as you guys hear the door open, Chris walking out in his suit, his tie in his hand.
“I, uh, don’t know how to tie this,” he says shyly, holding it out, clearly embarrassed.
You look around at his brothers and see them both looking just as clueless as Chris did. “Seriously?” You ask them.
“Our mom or dad always did it for school dances,” Matt tells you. “Never really worn a tie other than that.”
You huff and stand up off the bed, walking over to Chris, snatching the new tie out of his hands. “You guys are helpless,” you mumble, starting to situate the tie around his neck.
“‘M not helpless,” Chris says lowly, his voice slightly pouty.
“Oh, of course not,” you reply, looking up at him. “You’re just a twenty one year old boy that doesn’t know how to tie a tie, or fill out forms, or make a restaurant reservation…” you trail off.
“The fuck? I made a reservation for you and Matt tomorrow,” he argues.
“Tomorrow?” Matt whips his head around to look at his brother.
“Yeah?” Chris responds, looking at Matt over your head. “I told you I’d book it and then let you know when it was.”
“You didn’t think to ask first? Chris, I have plans,” Matt groans.
Chris’s eyes widen. “What fucking plans?! You never go anywhere.”
“I have an actual date tomorrow, I can’t make that. You should’ve told me when it was first or asked when I was free,” Matt tells him, finality clear in his voice.
“Kid, I had to put fucking a deposit down for this place, it’s non refundable. You need to go. Just reschedule your date.” Chris tells him.
Matt shakes his head, looking at Chris seriously. “No, dude, I’m not rescheduling. You should’ve asked.”
Chris groans and throws his head back, currently hating his life. You finish up with the tie and reach up to brush off Chris’s shoulders, then swipe your hands down his arms quickly before backing away. “Done,” you tell him, admiring your work. “You know, you could just suck it up and grab dinner with me. I’m not the worst person to be around.”
Chris turns around and goes back in the mirror to look at himself, shrugging a bit. “I’d prefer not to, but I also don’t want to lose my deposit.” He walks back out of the bathroom and past you, going to sit on the bed. “Alright, try your dress on now so I can take this off.”
You nod and grab your dress before walking into the bathroom, shutting the door after you. You slip off all of your clothes and step into your dress, pulling the straps over your shoulders. It fits well, and when you bought the dress a couple of months ago, you fell in love with it and the way it looked on your body, but now as you stare in the mirror, pulling the sides tight against your waist as the zipper was still down in the back, you couldn’t help but focus on all the imperfections staring back at you in the mirror. It almost makes you fully take the dress off and call it a day, figuring you’ll just put it on the day of the wedding and suck it up, but you would feel too bad making Chris get dressed up just to back out.
You’ve never explicitly told any of the triplets about any of your insecurities, just threw a few self deprecating comments out there like people normally do, and for the most part you were a confident person, but everyone had their days, and today was just one of those days.
You reach back and try to pull the zipper up, but you’re only able to zip it about halfway up on your own, so you slip back into your happy demeanor before you open the door and walk out, smiling at the three boys staring back at you. “Can one of you zip me up?” You ask.
Chris stands up from the bed and walks towards you. You’re shocked to see him volunteering without being coerced into it, but say nothing, afraid to startle him back to his senses. You just turn around and move your hair off your back, pulling it over your shoulder and he reaches out, grabbing the zipper and pulling it all the way up. “Good,” he tells you, and you turn back around to face him again.
“How do I look?” You ask the room, smiling wide and putting your hands on your hips dramatically. Chris moves out of the way so his brothers can see you, but keeps his eyes on your body.
“The same as you always look,” he retorts bluntly.
“You look hot,” Nick nods his head enthusiastically in approval.
“What Nick said,” Matt says in agreement. “I’m kind of sad I can’t make it now.”
You giggle at Matt’s words, feeling your ears heat up a little bit. You didn’t necessarily have a crush on Matt, but you couldn’t ignore the fact that he was attractive and his words did have a little bit of an effect on you.
“Thanks, guys. Come here, Chris, I want to look at us in the mirror.” You tell him and walk back into the bathroom where he follows you.
You both stand in the mirror together, looking at your outfits. You scrunch your eyebrows together and brush your hands over your dress, trying to pull it in a couple different directions to make it look more flattering on your body.
“What are you doing?” Chris asks you, watching you through the mirror as you play with your dress.
“Trying to fix the dress,” you mumble, sucking in a little bit as you turn to the side to stare at your reflection from another angle. “I think I gained a little weight and I just.. don’t really like how this is looking.”
Chris turns to look at you instead of your reflection, seeing how distraught you actually looked by the sight of your body in the dress.
“There’s nothing to fix, the dress is fine.” Chris is clearly uncomfortable at the way you’re speaking, but has no idea how to manage the situation. It was bad enough that he wasn’t good at dealing with other peoples’ emotions, but you two also weren’t close, so his urge to run away was even stronger than normal.
“It’s not the dress, I just…” your voice falters, eyes still glued to your body in the mirror. “I look bad.”
“Stop it,” he tells you, reaching out to turn your body towards his. You turn and look up to meet his eyes, your own starting to well with tears. “Why are you crying?”
You sniffle and shrug your shoulders, unable to speak in fear of your voice giving out on you.
He reaches behind himself and shuts the door, blocking his two brothers from earshot of you guys. “Why are you crying?” He asks you again, more firm this time.
You look down at the ground, sucking in a deep breath. “I’m just upset at how I look,” you tell him, voice high pitched and squeaky. “I really liked this dress when I got it but… I don’t know how I feel now.”
Chris sighs and reaches forward, placing a finger under your chin so he could tilt up your head. “Stop crying,” he tells you. “You look really good in that dress. Your body is incredible and you know it, that’s why you always walk around my house in your little booty shorts and a sports bra, isn’t it?”
You cough out a laugh and reach up to wipe a couple tears that fell down your cheek. “Not really, I’m just really comfortable around you guys. Even you wouldn’t think to comment on my body. You’re dumb but you’re not that dumb.”
Chris rolls his eyes at you and shakes his head. “Well, I’m commenting on it and I’m telling you that you look fine. Girls would kill to look like you. Once you do your hair and your makeup and shave your legs or whatever girls do you’ll feel way better about how you look. So, sort yourself out, change back into your clothes and go cuddle with my brothers or whatever weird shit you do with them.”
You smile and nod, the tears subsiding almost completely as he speaks. “Okay,” you mutter. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” Chris replies. “Seriously. Ever. I don’t ever want anyone knowing I… comforted you.”
You giggle at his words and watch as he turns to leave the bathroom before you try and stop him.
“Wait, Chris,” you touch his shoulder and he turns around, looking at you confusedly. “I need you to unzip me.”
“Oh,” Chris starts, moving his feet to come back to you. You turn around and place your hands over your breasts to hold the dress in place once it’s unzipped and he reaches up to unzip it down to your lower back, the small spaghetti straps falling off of your shoulders as he does so. “There you go.”
You turn back around to face him, still holding the dress. His eyes couldn’t help but wander, taking one last look at your body, so close to being completely naked in front of him. All you had to do was let go and the dress would fall to the floor-
“I said thanks,” you say loudly and Chris clears his throat, looking back up to your eyes. He doesn’t respond, just leaves the bathroom and shuts the door, not even speaking to his brothers before he leaves Nick’s room and heads towards his own.
You turn back to the mirror and drop the dress, staring at yourself a few minutes longer, and the more you stand there, the more you feel your mood shifting, and what started as a judgmental and negative stare slowly turns into you checking yourself out, posing for yourself almost completely naked apart from your underwear. You hum to yourself and send a wink towards your reflection before getting dressed again, walking into Nick’s room.
Right now you wore sweatpants and a loose crop top with the collar cut out so it hung off your shoulders, but you strutted over to Nick’s dresser where you had some clothes you had left and he had so graciously washed for you, digging out a pair of old Nike pros and a sports bra, turning around and smirking at the boys that watched you from the bed, eyes wide.
“What… happened in there?” Nick asks, scared for the answer.
You just giggle and rip your shirt over your shoulders in front of both boys, causing Matt to gasp and cover his eyes with his fingers, though he might’ve kept a small slit between his pointer and middle finger, who knows, whereas Nick’s eyes just got even wider, his eyes trailing over your body as you pulled the sports bra over your head, changing your bottom half next until you were fully changed, letting Matt know he was okay to look.
“I know you’re my best friend but I am still only a man,” Matt tells you, not so subtly checking you out, which only boosted your confidence more. Maybe you were searching for validation in the wrong people, but fuck it you needed it right now and if Matt and god forbid Chris were going to be the men that made you feel like they were going to melt at the sight of you then so be it.
“It’s like window shopping,” you tell Matt with a grin. “You can admire but you can’t touch.”
Matt couldn’t help his cheeks turning slightly darker at your words. “Sure…” he replies, definitely not sure.
“Anyway,” you start, clapping your hands together. “You guys hungry? I’m in the mood to cook.”
-
You had scrounged up what you could in the triplets’ kitchen and ended up cooking them some basic pasta, throwing all the boys’ portions onto a plate along with your own, putting everything on the table, calling Matt and Nick to the table who sat on their couch waiting patiently for dinner to be ready.
“I’m gonna get your brother,” you tell them with a smile before skipping towards the stairs, heading down them quickly. “Chris?” You call, standing in his doorframe.
He glances up at you quickly then back down at his phone before he rips his head back up, doing a double take, eyes scanning over the new outfit that had adorned your body. “Uh,” he drawls, looking up to meet your gaze. “Can I help you?”
You smile and place one foot on top of the other, your front knee buckled slightly, hands placed on the doorframe as you stared back at him where he lay on his bed. “I made dinner. You coming?”
Chris thinks about it for a moment before he shakes his head. “I’m not hungry.” He tells you, looking back down at his phone.
You huff and walk over to him until you’re standing next to his bed, reaching down to grab his phone and pull it behind your back. “Already made you a plate.” You tell him.
Chris furrows his eyebrows and sits up on the bed, quickly getting frustrated with you. “Stop fucking doing that shit every time your spoiled ass doesn’t get what you want. Give me my fucking phone.” He says aggressively, voice a tad louder than it normally is.
“Not until you come have dinner with us. I don’t want your food going to waste,” you pout, both hands now securely locked behind your back, phone held sideways between them. “Don’t be so rude, it’s fucking annoying.”
Chris scoffs out a laugh and shakes his head in disbelief. “I’m rude? You’re just coming in my room and snatching shit out of my hands like a fucking toddler, that seems pretty rude to me.”
You take a tiny step closer to Chris, jutting out your bottom lip. “Please?” You beg.
He’s still for a moment, and at first when his body starts to move, your first thought is that he’s giving in and standing up to go have dinner with you and his brothers, but you’re quickly proven wrong when he stands up and grabs your bicep, flipping your body around. You squeal at the sudden movement, stumbling over your own to feet as he spins you.
What you definitely didn’t expect was him facing you towards the bed and grabbing your hands that were still behind your back with one hand, his other hand taking his phone and shoving it in his pocket. He pushes you down on the bed aggressively, your feet still on the floor but your body bent over with your chest pressed into the mattress, leaning over your back until his mouth was next to your ear, making sure you heard the words that were about to fall from his lips.
“Watch your fucking attitude around me before I fucking make you.”
He aggressively shoves your arms, pushing you into the bed roughly as he lets go of you, glaring your way as he starts to walk out of his room, eventually turning his head and exiting, stomping up the stairs.
You use your now free hands to push yourself up until you’re standing straight again, then use them to reach up to your bun that almost completely fell out, grabbing the hair tie and ripping it out.
It took you a moment to process what had happened, but you thought back to it and how it made you feel, and most importantly the newfound throbbing between your legs. You stand there in silence, arms dropped to your sides, until you let out a quiet and confused,
“What the fuck?”
-
a/n: the tension is buildinggggg yall feel it??
taglist
@liiixsturniolos @madelinesturn @st6niolo @mattslolita @ifwdominicfike @sophand4n4 @chris-hallelujah @sophsturns @ariana2saucyy @045696 @scorpioosworld @byhrxb @vickytaa @taelovesmattsturniolo @secret-sturniolo @theboredknightcat-blog @slvtf0rchr1s @flouqissss @gabri3la-sturns @delilahsturniolo @starstrucktyrantinfluencer @vanillsstuff @sturnlsstuff @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @mattsbrat @mattsfavoritestar @dominicfikeenthusiast @certified-sturniolo @chrisslollipop @noplaceissafeanymore @sofiaaguilaxx @idrk2292 @dylansfavwife @pvssychicken @sturnl0ve @sturnioloangelxoxo @afilmbykay @sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan @r0s3luvr @milasturniolo @mattsdillion
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut#matt x reader#matt x you#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris x you#chris x reader#christopher sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#smoke and mirrors
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I just wanted to say, thank you for showing me where to get the little models, I've been having so much fun putting these guys together the past two days
Sorry for the quality of the photo
Shockwaves! I found the Blokees models purely by accident, but I love how tiny and posable they are. I ended up moving my Flame Toys Megs to my plant shelf just to make more room for these guys
Gravity Pt 6
IDW Optimus x Reader
• “Why Earth?” Turning away from his work at the soft question, he finds you sitting cross legged nearby watching him with a little frown. Yours been quiet so long, he’s assumed you were resting. At his questioning look, you roll your hand in a vague little gesture. “Why did you all come here? Why Earth?”
• Servos flexing slightly, he leans his forearms against the desk. Almost looming over you, but you don’t lean away. Just arching your eyebrows at him, because it’s been bothering you for a while now. Surely there were other worlds closer to his world, to Cybertron. So why here? “In the archives, there were ancient records of worlds the Primes had visited during the expansion before the war with the Quintessons. Of worlds that had been seeded with energon or interacted with,” he says. The words bringing up more questions than answers. Quintessons? Other Primes? Only energon rings a bell, because that’s the stuff he lives on, but seeded?
• Your expression twists and he knows he should explain it all. That he owes it to you after trapping you with him, but the past has only ever wounded him. Dredging it up always brings up the choices and mistakes he’d made. The things he can’t undo, but wishes he could because something small might have led them all down a different path, a brighter one if he’d only been better, stronger.
• “You came here for the energon,” you hazard. He’s volunteered so little of his past, only letting things slip occasionally. Like that his Autobots are at war, that they’d had to flee their world and that their enemies had followed. The details, though? Like why they’d left Cybertron or even what the war was over? Those things he doesn’t seem ready to talk about so you haven’t pushed.
• “We had no way of knowing about your species. You didn’t exist when this world was seeded as a potential colony.” Reaching out, he crooks a servo not really expecting for you to lay a hand on him and let him gently pull you to your feet. “I wouldn’t have led the Decepticons here if I’d known.” And that’s his guilt to carry from now on. Another failure that might cost so much, another sin weighing on his spark, because this world might not survive their war. You might not.
• “You guys were starving, right?” You ask, hand lingering on his servo as he inclines his head. “You were trying to save who you could, I get that.” It’s not fair or right, but you do understand. From what you can gather from the things he doesn’t want to say, things were pretty desperate. He was desperate. And to be responsible for the survival of your people, what would you have done in his place? You’re pretty sure you wouldn’t be nearly as honorable as he is, that you’d do anything regardless of the cost, because you’re not good like he is.
• Spark warming at your soft words, it’s that you understand that makes him curl his servo about you. How can you not blame him for bringing his war to your home? Not hate him or at least resent him? Your little palm slides against his servo like you’re trying to comfort him, worrying over him. It’s a weight from him that you don’t despise him even though he knows that this and what will follow will be his fault. For now he just wants to feel your hand on him and pretend that this one time, his decisions won’t cost him what little he has right now in this moment. Won’t cost you, because you give him something to look forward to every day. Something beyond duty or responsibility, just enjoying your company, the sound of your voice. The soft touch of a hand reaching out to him to break his loneliness.
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They spent a good two hours talking and getting to know one another. Ada was so happy to see so much of her mate in the young demoness. Eventually though they had to get back to matters that brought this meeting in the first place. Charlie: Ok, so I have a LOT to get through and not a lot of time and I think now that you hear me I can begin, I understand that the population down in Hell is bad, like really, really, REALLY bad! And I know that every year you have to come down and slaughter the sinners, BUT what if you didn’t have to? At my hotel I’ll rehab these sinners and cleanse all their souls so they’ll be able to ascend to Heaven! The destruction of my people and overpopulation control are gone in one swoop! What do you think?!
Charlie asked with a ginormous grin, Ada felt her heart squeezed. It was so much like the one Lucifer gave her when he was trying to convince her of something. She knew that she didn’t have the heart to crush her poor, sweet girls dreams. However, she also knew that she couldn’t exactly be the one to stop the extermination all together. That had to be Sera and the elders decision, and that wasn’t going to happen without proper evidence. Which Charlie had none, unless
Ada: Alright, I am prepared to make a deal with you
That caught Charlie’s attention
Ada: If you can in six months time somehow manage to redeem a sinner of Hell and show that he has changed in a meeting that I will set up by the end of those six months, then and only then will your hotel be given full support and the exterminations will forever stop. Do you accept?
Charlie: OF COURSE! You have yourself a deal Ada! Ada wished so badly that she’d call her mom. She shook it off however as she got up from her chair stretching her wings. Charlie was amazed by the sheer size and beauty they held. She always wished for wings like them. Suddenly the head angels hand was right in front of her expectingly. Charlie shook it with a smile, she really was so different than the commander of the exorcists she thought she was. Ada: Good luck to you Charlie, may we see each other again soon.
With a flash of bright light both Ada and the lieutenant were gone, leaving Charlie all alone in the room. @things-arent-what-they-seem66
The First Man
@things-arent-what-they-seem66 here it is, also @beef-brisket you can also join in the yandere-ness if you wish, anyways enjoy part 1 ;)
The first thing he was aware of was a beaming bright light. It shined right where in front of him, causing him to squint and cover his eyes. When he opened them again all he could see were two blurry figures, one much bigger than the other. Soon though the blurriness faded, and he then saw the world around him. It was vast and spacious, seemingly going on forever. Everywhere he looked it seemed colors of all kinds, mainly green, covered the Earth. That wasn't even mentioning the things that were walking around so full of, of
"WELCOME TO LIFEMY CREATIONS THE FIRST MAN AND FIRST WOMAN. I AM THE LORD HIMSELF, GOD, YOUR CREATOR"
Startled at the booming voice he turned and gape at the colossal figure of light before him.
"DO NOT ME AFRAID FIRST MAN FOR I MEAN YOU NO HARM."
and the first man believed the voice, which spoke once more, "
"YOU HAVE MANY QUESTIONS I AM SURE BUT I MUST FIRST INTRODUCE YOU TO EACH OTHER"
With a gesturing wave of his hand the first man turned to see a creature just like him. However this creature made him gasp as his eyes went wide, what he saw had to be the most captivating thing he ever saw since he opened his eyes. This creature was much taller than him, not as large as the voice, but still pretty tall. Their hair was so long it reached to their bottom. He just wanted to comb his fingers through it. Their skin was pale like his though with a hinge of a tan to it. It looked so soft that he wanted to touch it. However, their most engrossing feature were most definitely the eyes. They were the same color as their hair with a shade of a type of yellow light. They simply sparkled to him, this creature was simply so, so
"Beautiful"
The voice smiled at his creations first word and said happily
"I AM GLAD THAT YOU THINK SO, FOR THIS WOMAN IS TO BE YOUR MATE"
The first man looked back at the voice
"Mate?"
"YES, SHE IS YOUR MATE IT MEANS THAT SHE IS YOURS TO LOVE, CHERISH, AND PROTECT AS YOU ARE FOR HER TO DO THE SAME"
He explained before moving on
"NOW THEN THERE IS STILL THE MATTER OF PROVIDING YOU WITH PROPER NAMES. FOR YOU TWO SIMPLY CANNOT BE CALLED AND CALL EACH OTHER MAN AND WOMAN. NO, THAT SIMPLY WILL NOT DO. (turns to the man) YOUR NAME SHALL BE LUCIFER FOR IT MEANS LIGHT BRINGER, (turns to the woman) AS FOR YOUR NAME SHALL BE ADA FOR IT MEANS BEAUTIFUL"
The man, now named Lucifer, felt his lips twitch upwards at the fact that he helped name his mate.
"THIS PLACE THE TWO OF YOU STAND BEFORE IS CALLED THE GARDEN OF EDEN. THIS IS TO BE BOTH OF YOURS HOME. YOU MAY DO AS YOU WISH HERE JUST AS YOU MAY EAT FROM ANY OF THE FRUITS THAT HANG FROM THE TREES. HOWEVER, THERE IS ONLY ONE FRUIT THAT I MUST ASK YOU TO NOT ONLY NOT CONSUME BUT STAY AWAY FROM ENTIRELY FOR IF YOU EAT IT, YOU SHALL SURELY PERISH."
The voice said as it pointed over to where a grand tree not too far away stood. Hanging from the branches were the forbidden fruit as it shined a tempting red.
"WITH THAT SUBJECT OUT OF THE WAY WE SHALL NOW DISCUSS YOUR DUTIES. DO NOT WORRY FOR THEY ARE ONLY TWO. YOUR FIRST DUTY IS TO GIVE EVERY LIVING THING IN THIS GARDEN A NAME AS I HAVE GIVEN YOU. YOUR SECOND DUTY IS TO BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY, WHICH BRINGS US TO ANOTHER MATTER. YOU TWO ARE NOT SIMPLY JUST THE FIRST MAN AND WOMAN. LUCIFER YOU ARE THE FIRST ALPHA WHICH MEANS THAT YOUR SEED SHALL SPILL INTO ADA AND HER WOMB SHALL ACCEPT AND SHE WILL THEN CARRY A CHILD."
Lucifer didn't understand why but that statement...excited him.
"NOW I MUST MAKE MY EXIT FOR I AM SURE THE TWO OF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER."
In a flash of the light their creator was gone and it was just Lucifer and Ada.
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Chicken noodle soup .ᐟ
Paring; coach!patrick x single mom!reader
Synopsis; flu season is a bitch. Luckily you have two boys who seem pretty keen on helping you.
Notes; I may start a tag list for this if I get enough interest? hm
Masterlist | coach!au masterlist
Flu season.
Last year you’d been lucky, Noah had managed to breeze through unharmed and in turn, so had you. Now though you wished you’d enjoyed those times more than you had. Lying on your couch watching whatever rerun was on you really debated never sending Noah back to school again.
It had started with a small sniffle a few days after your son had come home from his father's looking like he was knocking on death's door. You knew the moment your ex had called because if there was one thing you knew about him; he never called you.
Less than half an hour later he’d showed up claiming he had to take an emergency shift before all but running down the driveway. Luckily Noah didn’t seem to mind, he’d been determined to stay stuck to your side at all hours of the day and before you knew it your son wasn’t the only one living on chicken noodle soup.
Luckily kids bounce back fast and within four days Noah was rearing and ready to go while you tried to push through the throbbing in your skull.
Your plan clearly hadn’t worked as for the last 3 days your son's best friend's parents had taken over school runs. Grabbing another tissue you blew your nose for what felt like the hundredth time before groaning and letting your eyes flutter shut.
You had an hour and a half before Noah would be back from tennis - that was long enough for a power nap.
Maybe you'd finally be able to sleep this damn cold off.
⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *
“Shh. Quiet remember.” One voice whispered before a quiet giggle could be heard. Swallowing you grimaced slightly at the pain and the reminder that you were in fact still sick - much to your distaste. You opened your eyes just enough to see Noah appear in the doorway, and your head throbbed at the light from the window.
“Hi!” He smiled, his voice quieter than normal as he came over.
His little arms wrapped around your neck, his curls brushing your ear as he hugged you. “Hey, Sweetheart.” You murmured, your voice raspy. He hummed trying to climb up onto the couch but a quiet voice halted his movements.
“I don’t think your Mom’s gonna wanna cuddle right now.” Noah pouted but relented much to your secret relief. He hovered by you for a moment before turning to the other person. Noah shifted. “Do we have to tell her dad didn’t come?”
It took you a moment to register your son’s words through the haze of sickness which seemed to smother your whole body.
"Dad didn’t come."
Suddenly your eyes shot open and for the first time in the last few days, you felt alert. His dad didn’t come? Who the hell brought him-
Oh.
Ignoring the pounding in your head you turned just enough to look at the figure in the doorway. Patrick smiled sheepishly raising a hand in greeting. “I didn’t wanna call in case you tried to come yourself.” He mumbled stepping closer as you shifted to sit up, the blanket pooling over your lap.
The world spun for a moment as you took a breath. Noah climbed up next to you, keeping a slight distance as he ran a hand over the soft blanket. “Your dad didn’t come?” you asked quietly.
Your son nodded, a look of hurt on his face which made your heart ache. “I waited an hour.” Patrick cut in, crossing his arms as annoyance flashed across his face for a moment. What kind of guy left his kid knowing his Mom was sick?
“He never picked up when I called either, straight to voicemail.”
You sighed rubbing a hand over your face. You didn’t have the energy for this. You knew your ex was an ass but this, this was a new low.
The minute you could talk without it feeling like you were being stabbed in the throat he was dead. He could be a dick to you all he wanted but your son? That was a completely different ballpark.
“Go get changed.” You said reaching over to smooth down the boy's hair for a moment. “You can get a snack as well.” You knew he was upset yet the mention of an extra snack of his choosing seemed to perk him up as he ran off.
Patrick watched you for a moment, taking in your pale skin and dark circles. “Jesus.” He mumbled. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks.”
He smiled slightly. Even sick you still somehow managed to give him the same dry tone.
“Thank you for this.” Patrick blinked, shocked slightly at the sincerity in your tone. “I…I don’t even wanna think what would have happened if you didn’t stay.”
“It's fine.” He waved his hand. “Kid's technically my responsibility till his parents come. Just doing my job.” He shrugged.
Looking around he noted the multiple tissues, medicine, and cups scattered by the couch. It was clear that you'd barely moved and for a moment he wondered how the hell you were taking care of a child while looking like you'd been knocking on death's door.
Sighing he reached down grabbing a few of the cups. “What are you doing?”
He paused looking up to see you watching him with a small frown. “Cleaning up.” He answered simply before grabbing more. He quite impressively managed to get almost all of the cups and tissues before standing.
You watched quietly. A part of you was surprised, your son's tennis coach was cleaning up your mess. He’d just stayed back at practice to bring him home when you both know he didn’t have to do that.
It sent a small pang of warmth through your heart that he'd stayed. H
As much as he annoyed you, you couldn’t lie that he was a decent guy (sometimes). Most of the time he still made you want to rip your hair out.
⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *
Patrick smiled slightly at the way Noah seemed to immediately gravitate towards you. He burrowed into your side, slipping under the blanket draped over your lap. He watched for a moment as your eyes fluttered again your body slumping slightly as you tried to fight off the sleep your body was so badly needing.
The feeling of a cool palm against your forehead made you jump, your eyes shooting open just to come face to face with a pair of concerned green eyes.
Patrick's face was set into a frown, your skin was practically radiating heat as he held his palm there.
A deep sigh left you as you subconsciously lent into the cool feeling of his palm. If he ever brought this up again you would vehemently deny any of this but in the moment you couldn’t find it in you to care.
You’d been trying to parent and nurse yourself back to health and you were simply exhausted.
“You're burning up." He murmured placing a hand on the arm of the couch to steady himself as he crouched down. Noah watched shifting to lean over your lap. A small frown pulled at his lips. “You'll be okay?” Patrick was quick to nod, soothing the boy's worries.
“Just a cold bud.” He smiled gently easing him back off you slightly. “A cold I think you gave to her.” He teased. You huffed nodding in agreement. Noah pouted sitting back before a smile pulled at his lips as you poked his side.
“S’your fault.”
He shook his head. “Noooo.” He grinned taking a bite of the chocolate he'd taken as a snack. You hummed sharing a look with Patrick who just grinned back at you. “I don’t know.” He hummed. “I seem to remember someone missing practice last week.” He raised an eyebrow as Noah gasped, yelping when Patrick reached over to ruffle his hair.
The boy broke into a fit of laughter as he tried to shove the man away but he was quickly overpowered and scrambled to the other end of the couch. His eyes were bright as he breathed heavily, a bright smile on his face as Patrick raised an eyebrow, his own smile growing.
He finished off his snack before turning to you. “Can I go play before dinner?”
Nodding you mumbled a small “sure.” A slight pang of dread ran through you at the idea of moving. Taking a breath you prepared to face the dizziness again but before you could a hand pressed over your shoulder.
“Sleep. I got it.”
“Patrick…you don’t have to.”
He shook his head. “It’s fine. You have chicken nuggets, right? Kids eat chicken nuggets?” He paused looking to the kitchen with his eyebrows drawn. His cooking abilities were...limited to say the least.
A quiet laugh left you. “Yes, I have chicken nuggets. Third draw in the freezer.”
He nodded watching as you lay back down. “Just rest okay? I’ll handle Noah.” He didn’t expect a reply as you relaxed back into the couch, your breathing evening out as you fell back to sleep.
Standing from his crouched position he groaned, stretching his arms. Grabbing the remote he flicked the tv off before placing it down quietly.
If only you were this agreeable all the time.
He chuckled quietly to himself, who was he kidding he loved your seeming distaste for him. It made it all that more rewarding that you hadn’t fought him on this.
He knew he was wearing you down. He didn’t plan on leaving anytime soon either. Sure you may think he’d gotten what he wanted.
You’d slept with him a month ago and yet he still found himself wanting to spend time with you and with Noah.
Throwing a look over his shoulder he saw that Noah was nowhere to be seen. Leaning down he moved the blanket up, tucking it around your shoulders before brushing a hand over your forehead.
If you wouldn’t stop to take care of yourself someone had to do it for you.
He didn’t mind being that person.
#challengers#patrick zweig#challengers movie#challengers 2024#patrick zweig x reader#patrick zweig x y/n#patrick zweig x you#patrick zweig imagine#patrick zweig smut#patrick zweig fic#patrick zweig fanfiction#challengers patrick#challengers x reader#challengers x you#josh o'connor#challengers x y/n#josh o'connor x reader#challengers imagine#art donaldson#art donaldson x reader#tashi duncan#.challengers#.patrickzweig#.mine
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Personal vent
Tw I guess
I just need to get this off my chest because it's suffocating me, and everything’s just too much. Also if no one sees this it's okay too cause I just need to write this down I guess, no matter if smone sees it or not.
A year ago my best friend and me fell apart, and she was literally my everything. She never even once lost patience with me and appreciated everything | did. Ofc sometimes she made mistakes, but these were all little nonsenses, I could have ignored. That time I had no idea from life and was just so ungrateful for everything and straight up a shitty horrible person. I said and did so many things that must have hurt her more than I can think off. And then at the end I blamed all the shit on her and why nothing was working in my life. All the time after, I was convinced it was her who ruined everything and why we fell apart, and didn't miss her a bit.
But after that I went through so much shit that made me realize so much things and made me a whole different person.( well I wouldn’t wish it anyone, but for me everything was deserved tbh) Half a year later I was startina to rearet everthing and tried to reach out again. Surprise, ofc I fucked up again, this time not with my cruel behavior, but just idk, I was scared I guess.
Now I suddenly found one of our old chats again. I deleted everything but seems like I forgot this one. And it hurts so fcking bad. I was so ungrateful for everything, and said the most horrible things ever.
The whole last year made me change so so so much, and I can't believe what a shitty person I was back then. I just wish our friendship back, the way we would text until late at night, or how we would go on walks with her dog and then stay at her place and cuddle up while watching Ghibli movies. although I know everything was my fault.
Not in a hundred lifetimes I could make up for everything I did and said, and that's what haunts me so bad. The most I can do for her is to never contact her again, and just idk. But I hate this old self, and I just can't live with the fact that I hurt her so so fucking bad, and probably lots of other people that time too, just because I couldn't appreciate anything, and wasn’t satisfied with myself.
I was clean for months but yesterday I sh myself again, and all the feeling and thoughts I thought left behind me r coming back . It's just, if I wouldn't be here it would be so much better for her and all the people I hurt.
And I don't deserve everything and the remaining people I have rn anyways. I feel like the only way I could make up for all the stuff I did and said is to make sure I'll never do it again, by just disappearing from this world.
I know I would never ever do what l've done back then now, since I know so much more, and I won't hurt anyone in any way ever.
But just the thought of what l've done, and idk but for some reason I could do it again, it makes me despise myself. I don't deserve the people I have rn, and the new friends I made. I don't deserve anything rn. I wish I could think otherwise, but my mind is telling me that the only way to make up and protect the people around me, is to go. Because who says the ungrateful cruel person isn't still somewhere? What if someday I do smth shitty again and hurt too many people?
I‘m falling apart, and idk how to handle anything. And besides all that I’m feeling not rlly good right now generally, and with this weight added now I’m falling apart. I feel like crying 24/7, idk and my mind is just being too loud.
And the most egoistic thing is, all I want is someone to hold me and tell me everything's okay. Also when I know it's not. Also when it's me who hurt eveyone.
#will delete later#ha ha funny#vent space#vent post#personal vent#me#aesthetic#stray kids stay#I dunno#writing#girlblogging
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may i request a romantic yandere concept for Lucifer with Fallen Angel! Darling? Maybe he used to have a crush on them before he fell, so seeing them again after such long time just makes his old feelings come back in the worst way possible..
Thank you so much for giving me a background, lol! It helped a lot when working on this ^^ Sorry for the long wait, hope it was worth it.
Yandere! Lucifer with Fallen Angel! Darling
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Possessive behavior, Kidnapping, Delusional behavior, Forced relationship.
Before Lucifer fell? What a long time...
Yet he no doubt remembers his time up there.
I imagine Lucifer knew you before he seduced Eve and married Lilith.
He kinda has to, right?
You were probably his first companion... Possibly a crush he had no idea how to act on.
He was quite... naive? Young?
Either way, back then he was rather inexperienced, even as an angel.
He always asked too many questions and seemed to stick his nose where it doesn't belong.
You knew him well back then.
You were two close friends, Lucifer had always remembered you fondly.
Everything about you was, well, angelic.
Your smile, your gaze, your pretty pure wings.
Like many things in heaven, you were a beauty to behold.
Lucifer, in hindsight, wishes he spent more time with you.
Things were simple back then.
Just two angels, sharing some talk.
There was no Hell yet and Lucifer was still that beaming dreamer that many found troublesome.
But you never thought that.
You were just as curious.
You were curious about him, humankind, and all of creation.
Even before Lucifer met Lilith it seems he was corrupting you.
Lucifer often told you of the dealings he and Lilith did.
He wasn't sure why... but maybe it was because you'd always perk up with stars in your eyes when you listened.
Although... Once temptation was introduced to humankind...
You were forced to watch Lucifer fall from grace.
Lucifer still remembers the fear in your eyes when you watch your companion fall.
He had always remembered you since that day.
Yet he was also occupied with his new wife, Lilith, deep in this new kingdom created by their hands.
Hell.
Honestly, Lucifer didn't think he'd see you again.
Why would he?
Far as he knew, you were quite the pure angel.
You belonged up there... while he deserved to take his punishment.
Lucifer didn't start thinking about you again until Lilith disappeared.
It was then, when he was alone with his rubber ducks, that he began to realize how much you meant to him.
He's a king... yet he's a pitiful king in this state.
Even now he misses the companionship you two would share.
But then there's... news.
A fallen angel has entered Hell.
Lucifer would normally not care when another soul enters Hell.
But an angel?
That's already surprising enough.
He probably met you after helping Charlie rebuild the Hotel.
Which only seems to surprise him more.
At first, well, he thinks he's dreaming.
There's... There's no way you're here!
Yet when he gets a close look...
It is you.
This was really you.
You look different due to the fall... but you.
Lucifer probably tears up when he sees you, like seeing a long lost friend.
A long lost love...
He's been alone for so long.
I don't doubt him hugging you when he sees you, baffling you and the other demons for a moment.
Until Lucifer starts dumping info, saying you two were close in Heaven.
Lucifer is quite excited you came down here.
He isn't sure how you ended up here...
Yet he's happy you are!
It's for... selfish reasons, but that's expected of a demon.
With you here, he's no longer alone!
He has his fellow (fallen) angel friend to keep him company!
Not only that... but he wants to show you the world he's been thriving in for... who knows how long?
You're scared when you first arrive... Completely expected.
You fell due to following Lucifer's teachings and agreeing with Charlie's plan to reform sinners.
Which is how you end up falling into Lucifer's new home.
Knowing how delusional and alone Lucifer is at this point, even after reconciling with his daughter, he'd probably think this was destiny.
You two were meant to meet again!
You were meant to save him from being lonely like the angel you are! (were?)
You'd no doubt be Lucifer's next love interest, even if you were technically his first.
Sometimes he's sorry for being away for so long.
You two would've been cute together up there...
....
But that can still happen, right!?
Lucifer definitely shows you around his home and reminisces about your time together in Heaven.
To you, he's like a friend who simply hasn't seen another friend in a long time.
Yet that's such a naive view...
In reality, due to his fragile mental state, Lucifer is quickly falling in love all over again.
I imagine now, in Hell, his feelings get twisted.
After all, he's no angel anymore.
You aren't either.
He can be possessive, he can be manipulative...
He's clingy, desperate, and hopes you still enjoy his presence.
To him, everything about you is still beautiful.
He hopes you're still a dreamer.
He hopes you understand how he feels.
He's delusional, probably accidentally confessing within weeks.
Then when he realizes it, he begs you to stay.
He's a king now!
He'll give you everything and anything!
Please don't leave too!
If... If you do...
Maybe he needs to clip your wings?
Lucifer doesn't have many... morals in this state.
Again, King of Hell and all.
So keeping you with him by force, even if he doesn't fully realize it, doesn't register as wrong to him.
He'll manipulate you or straight up lock you away.
If he wanted to restrict your power, he probably could since you both are fallen angels.
He's desperate to not be alone again.
He clings to you, perhaps even in demonic form, pleading you don't leave.
When you try to pull away, try to reason, try to run from your corrupted friend...
He merely strokes your wings in a comforting touch, whispering sweet nothings...
Before locking you away, chaining your wings, just so he can keep his closest companion.
Your wings bleed with your attempts to flee... the glowing ichor staining your skin.
You're miserable... tortured by your delusional companion's obsession...
But to Lucifer...
It was torture losing you... torture being alone...
But now, you're in his territory, his domain...
Now? Well, now you'll never leave him!
He won't let it happen.
He's sick of being alone.
He just wants to hold you... kiss you... love you...
He wants you to be his.
He's waited a long time for this.
He knows you're scared... but... you'll grow used to your new home...
He'll take care of you, he'll love you until he sees that familiar sparkle of happiness in your eyes...
But just when he thinks he sees your eyes sparkle when you look at him...
He quickly realizes it's tears.
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The ending is always awkward.
"Maedhros. I will be king." "Yes." "I will choose men."
Maedhros looked at his adopted son, who usually called him father. He fiercely refused to be called father, but unlike Elrond, who had considered Maedhros's suffering, Elros stubbornly insisted on being father, and surprisingly, he had Maedhros give up, and finally allowed Elrond to call Maedhros as he wished. So he called him Maedhros instead of father… "You speak as if they were the same." "They are the same."
Elros looked at him, frighteningly. Unlike Elrond, he loved his adoptive fathers, but did not pity them. But he understood them terribly. “I will do things I cannot bear and I will not look back. I will be terribly determined and terrible. I will burn the world with all my might and act as if there is no tomorrow, making plans for a thousand years that I will not see. I will make plans that will collapse. I will do things I dare not do. I will live with all my might and pay the price with my death.”
“As expected of you,” Maedhros smiled bitterly. “Noldor.”
“A men. And the elf who dared choose mortality was a Sinda.” Elros was silent, and then continued. “But you should never have gone there in the first place.”
"We had to go. I've changed my mind a bit now. The world is made up of several layers, so sometimes wrong things lead to right things, and sometimes doing things that you were told not to do leads to things that should have been done. In this labyrinthine world, who can easily gauge right and wrong, limits, and boundaries? In a world where good leads to evil, and evil decides to the end. But it seems like you chose to be men, which is the right thing for you."
"I don't care about what's right for me. I just make my own choices."
Elros said and handed him the sword. Maedros shook his head. "Fine. It doesn't have to be a good sword. This is the end. If durability isn't important, the difference between a good sword and a defective one isn't that big."
"Yes. But that's because you're Maedhros of the left hand."
Elros accepted the sword and put it back on his waist. Even so, he hesitated for a moment, which was unusual for him. Maedhros asked. "But I'm curious. Even if you were Gil-galad side, there probably weren't many men around you. Since there weren't any men around you, I thought you'd think about it and decide when you were older."
Maedhros was a little surprised. Elros looked at him as if he found it absurd and laughed in vain, and his expression gradually became desolate as he looked at him. He whispered. "I've thought about it a lot. Really a lot. I wish you were a men. You could have just kept your oath and lived, and thought, let's hold out until we die anyway. You wouldn't have had to endure all this. You could have said that life and death are one to me, so there's nothing to fear. You could have swung your sword and laughed that even the Void couldn't catch me. You could have burned me completely without looking back.
And at some point, I knew it. I, too, will eventually commit it. So I have to pay up front."
"men probably think about the future too." "The price was paid up front, so it's not as much as the elves. It's light because there's nothing to carry forever."
It was funny to see him already talking like a men, when he wasn't yet. Well, his mind was set, so it was only a matter of time. And that time depended on when he told Elrond. Maedhros opened his mouth slightly, considering apologizing but deciding not to. It wasn't Elros's taste. Elros awkwardly squeezed and released his hand. Now that it was over, he didn't really need anything, and since he didn't need anything, he had nothing to give. There was nothing to say. Maedhros waved his hand.
"Well then, I'll go now."
"Good Bye. see…."
Elros awkwardly closed his mouth. Maedhros shook his head to keep himself from laughing and left the tent gate.
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⏳ REX LAPIS & THE MORTAL ⌛️
warnings: pure angst, hanaki disease referenced, zhongli struggling between friendship and love (?), unrequited love, maybe requited if you squint.
Zhongli not knowing how to feel when you confess your love for him. He can't lie, you're quite bold, a mortal daring to express their admiration so valiantly to their god. However, his heart is already taken by another.
Zhongli, or better yet Morax still remises about her. The long lost god of dust, with her soft grey silky locks billowing in the wind, her kind eyes and smile as she greeted him to discuss another of her inventions. Her silhouette atop a mountain in her signature dress and star-imbued sleeves. Zhongli's eyes have a look of gentleness in them you've noticed when she is in his mind. Honestly, you're already grateful enough to be this close to the Rex Lapis, the Geo Archon. You're but a human who managed to capture the hearts of the adepti with your kind nature, happy energy, and curiosity.
But even with all this, you long for more. You wish for the gaze of not just your archon's closest companions but him himself. It is a cruel thing, you're aware, humans and their untamable desires. In the end you ended up confessing, on the basis of not wanting to lie to your god and also why not? It was a horrid mistake.
After a moment of awkward silence, Morax's eyes once soft seemed to have an empty glare. Filled with disgust, anger, disappointment? You wouldn't know, all you registered that day was him telling you to leave and not get wrapped up in fantasies as a human.
That should've been the end of it, is what you thought, and what Zhongli thought. Nonetheless you proved to both yourself and him that it seems humans are quite stubborn. Despite the obvious pain that weighed on your heart from rejection you continued asking for his hand.
Before you had voiced it with the intent of being his equal. Which you soon realized wouldn't suffice. Zhongli wasn't one to sugarcoat his words, "Guizhong, she was the one meant for me. There is no one who can replace her in Liyue and in all of Teyvat. Do not test my patience, you've already stirred up less than pleasant memories little one".
Perhaps you had too much hope, as soon you began degrading yourself to the point you'd offered your hand in marriage not as an equal, but as a worshipper. To this, Zhongli had escorted you to the Guizhong ballista, where he proceeded to explain quite fondly the creator of said machine.
Maybe even Morax himself realized what a heartstabbing punishment this was. Having you listen to him ramble on and on for half an hour about her before ending with the point that this is exactly the key difference between you and Guizhong.
"You have to understand, you are but a mortal, she was a goddess. Your affections would be better directed elsewhere. This is the last I will tolerate this, I bid you a good day".
Zhongli should've been happy, because after that day your presence was nowhere to be found. Well, not exactly, although you had stopped visiting the adepti's and performing your standard rituals for him. The Geo Archon was well aware of all who resided in Liyue and knew you were still there too.
Could it be potentially you had broken into the Geo Archon's heart? No, that was impossible, all he did was feel pity for you obviously. "Why do I keep imagining the impossible..." you repeated to yourself, sitting inside the comfort of your room as you glanced out your window at the lovely scenery outside.
But you knew that even a persons state of mind could change how they perceived the world and right now everything just felt dull. The only memory present in your mind was replaying itself over and over again, it wasn't pleasant.
You're quite certain you'd confessed to Rex Lapis more than 50 times now, pretty much 5 years or more in your life. Yet his last message to you that day was the final straw.
It was so very frustrating, how your feelings towards him just wouldn't go away. You had attempted to build other romantic relationships to no avail. It was suffocating that your emotions just wouldn't disappear, they just couldn't be buried.
Oh but they can, you thought to yourself suddenly, and afterwards your last thought was to find true love in your next lifetime. As on a cool and calm night, you had laid yourself to rest.
The next day, no particular day really. Randomly out of the blue, Zhongli had heard of you once again after you distanced yourself from him.
It confused him, his adepti didn't dwell on his love life much. It was no secret they knew you harbored affections for him. However, that wasn't the reason why he found them all gathered here today.
As he approached them, his fellow adepti had parted a path so he could see for himself the cause of commotion. There, laying on a soft cushion was you.
Lifeless. Dry. Your eyes were softly shut, your face devoid of any emotion with the exception of a small titled smile on your face. But even that Zhongli could tell may have perhaps been his adepti's doing as part of their little ceremony for you. It became quite obvious then that you had decided to end your life due to the pain. Or, maybe the pain had ended you because no one could ignore the obvious flower that now sprouted from your chest. Bright and lovely, standing proud with petals that glowed amber like Cor Lapis.
#genshin impact#zhongli#zhongli x reader#genshin morax#morax x reader#rex lapis#genshin zhongli#zhongli x reader angst#genshin impact x reader#rex lapis x reader#geo archon x reader#geo archon
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Their mind is a contradiction. They're angry at Frin. They want him to protect them again. They don't want to get them hurt. They're so mad. They're scared, they're confused. Their mind is going in circles, spinning out of control. But they don't know what to do. The only thing they can think to keep doing is to keep clutching onto Siffrin's cloak.
That's why is comes as a surprise when suddenly there's a different weight to it. Their eyes were closed at this point, too full of tears to really see anything anyway. But suddenly the cloak was no longer weightless, lifted by something. Now it was being lifted by them. Bonnie sniffles and really takes in the situation.
Siffrin had taken off the cloak. When was the last time that Bonnie saw them without it, aside from when they were going to bed? They wore it everywhere. It and their dumb hat was how Bonnie could easily find them in a crowd. He never took it off. But, he took it off now, so that must mean something.
They make a connection, and it's not pleasant. Frin was planning to leave them. It scared them, the reality that their friend, their family, was just going to leave because they couldn't handle them anymore. Bonnie knows they aren't a good kid. They've always been disobedient and loud and full of anger. They tried their best to not be a burden during their journey though. That way that group wouldn't leave them behind at some inn. But now they've shown that they're a big burden and Siffrin isn't going to put up with him. Because they're a bad kid. Because Siffrin doesn't love them enough to put up with them.
They want Nille. They wish she was here. They always do, but the feeling is so much strong right now. They pull the discarded cloak close to them, hiccupping between sobs. Nille would never leave them. She always puts up with them, even when they're always. And they thought that Frin would too. They thought wrong.
"If you hate me so much then, just go! I hate you Frin! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! Leave me alone! I never want to see you again." Please, don't leave them. They're so scared, please don't leave them.
You are rejected in an instant. Of course you are. Of course. You knew you would be, of course you would be! Of course, of course, of course... It still hurts though. Just a little smack of your hand to shoo you away, but it may as well been a death blow. Urgh.
You... abide the request. You retract your hands. Reluctantly. You do not touch Bonnie anymore. Even though they technically are touching you. They're gripping your cloak like it is their only lifeline. Actually, you're not too sure you like thinking about it like that. In any case, you do not... 'return' the touch, if that's even a thing. In the mind of a child, you assume this form of contact just 'doesn't count.' And you're okay with that.
Still, your hands don't really know where to go now. They hover helplessly above Bonnie as they cry and cry and stars you're still crying a bit too and you can't really stand it anymore. But you don't know what else to do. You hate that you keep realizing that. You're so stupid. Anyone else but you would know what to do. It's you that's out of touch. You don't know what to do. But you have to do something. You have to. You have to!
So you do something.
If the cloak really is a lifeline to them, not that you're still thinking of it like it is one, and you're not to touch them... Okay, you have an idea. Your hands need something to do so you don't feel so incompetent. Tentatively, you shift so that they carefully undo your cloak. You tug, just a bit, just enough maybe, to get Bonnie to let go of it, or ease up, so you can move it. You know they will not like that you do this. You know. You just hope that they can stand it for long enough.
Instantly and all at once, you are cold. But it's fine. That's just a testament to how well-crafted your cloak is, you suppose. You, very carefully, drape it over Bonnie like one would a blanket. You avoid tucking them into it, or trying to do it up around them, or anything that would involve your hands getting too close to them. But maybe this is nice? You don't know. You rub your hand against your arm to warm yourself up a bit. Well, your hands are occupied now at least.
You feel very vulnerable without your cloak on. But it's fine. You're so used to shrinking into it and hiding away, but now you're very much exposed. It never really dawned on you just how safe and warm and nice it usually makes you feel until now. Hopefully that all translates well enough to Bonnie. Given the fact that you lack the words, the ability, the right, to express any of that yourself.
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I need to make one thing clear and I know this post won't change anything but I still feel the need to clarify
I won't ever reply to asks about donations (unless they come from my friends or people I know).
In this site you can never be sure if they're bots or real people, and that breaks my heart, but even then, as a rule, I will just delete the ask.
#i've gotten a couple of asks lately asking for donations to help palestinian families#and it breaks my heart#but i also know there are A LOT of bots and assholes taking advantage of this whole situation#and a lot of those assholes take the money to help murder innocent people as well#and as much as i wish things were different right now#but i'm not in a position to help anyone#and the thought that perhaps i could potentially fall for a scam and end up hurting people? that would kill me (quite literally)#so just know that there are ways to get help out there and there are people in better positions than myself that CAN and WILL help#but please don't waste time in my ask box because the messages will be deleted unread#i'm so sorry#angel talks#personal#ask
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Fop redesigns for funsies but also bcs I saw some star heel boots and had to put Dale in them immediately.
#No Dev in this lineup simply bcs I cannot imagine him wearing anything but his cannon outfit#he has no sense of fashion or personal identity to pull an outfit from LOL#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#dale dimmadome#fop peri#fop cosmo#fop wanda#redesigns#outfit redesign#art#digital art#fanart#Im not gonna be using Dale or Peris redesigns bcs those arent things I see them wearing regularly they were more just fun explorations#Hazel Cosmo and Wanda im def using tho#I know I didnt change Wanda much but#I have a small but insane pet peeve where I cannot stand a characters pants and shirt being the same color.#So I made Hazels sweater more purple and changed her pants to a different and darker blue#Gave cosmo a more relaxed dad vibe while keeping it a button up#Wandas mostly the same I just mostly used her human outfit and changed her sneakers to boots#Peri has less visible fairy features than his parents because hes more insistent about hiding them#Also if Peri looks uncomfortable in his outfit it is because he is ♥#I wrote like an entire paragraph about Peris relationship with gender identity and how fairy society biology/gender binary comes in conflic#and then I pussied out of posting it so now all you get is peri looking kinda uncomfy in a skirt#The long story short of it tho is that Peri identifies as the human version of male#while the closest he can get to that in fairy society is kind of transfem#So dressing like that around other fairies is closer to making him feel himself but still not entirely right
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revstar fans we need to put on the best talent show this towns ever seen and save ReLive!!
#revue starlight#NOT TAKING THE NEWS WELL AT ALL. MY GIRLS THEYRE TAKING MY GIRLS AWAY FROM ME!#like its been a part of my daily routine for like a year and half now... im not gonna know what to do with myself#i really cant stand all the people being like HAHA EAT SHIT AND DIE GACHA GAME#like i will not defend the gacha aspect. i wish it it did not have to be a gacha. i acknowledge gacha games as a concept suck#but like relive wasnt some souless cash grab gacha game#the writers clearly had real passion for what they were doing. they had stories to share with us in the revue starlight universe#and sadly the way things are shitty gacha game was how they were able to make it possible#and truly it had such amazing stories. like. theres no media quite like rev star. a complete cast of female characters#all of them complex and flawed and getting to have big messy feelings!! and fighting eachother with magic swords about those feelings!!#all the different relationships between them love and rivalry and friendships and sisterhoods all complicated and fleshed out#LIKE IT JUST MEANT MUCH TO HAVE THE STEADY STREAM OF COMPELLING STORIES ENTIRY FOCUSED ON GIRLS#and now its going to be gone. i know theres still all the other revstar medoa and hope they keep doing stuff with the francise#i hope we see the frontier and rinmeikan girls again someday. they honestly had the most moments that made my jaw drop#onward to the next stage#right?#anyways do you get it talent show lol cause theyre stage performers
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say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess
cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you
and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while
don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing
so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake
and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think
so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today
#miraculous ladybug#felix fathom#marinette dupain cheng#felix graham de vanily#🌃#ml amv#felinette felinette felinette FELINETTE#i'm shrimping so hard i'm gromping i'm making absolute tempura#yes the 2 am coco pops félix post was made while i was finishing this yes i am constantly experiencing inconsolable félix feelings#félings even. GOD GOD GOD okay listen#i could do a line by line analysis of this song and how i made the amv i have too many thoughts to put in the tags i am exploding#but in summary REPRESENTATION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPLIQUE. FUCK ME#félix's trauma an open scar leading her to the art room as far as both of them will go to feel right#ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS TO KEEP ADRIEN AND THEN MARINETTE SAFE#it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark huAHUAHHGAG I MTHRWOING UP it's how he doesn't care what she thinks of him#how she sees him whether she hates him he's Chosen her as someone to protect and he will DO IT he will TAKE HER WHEN HE RUNS#i don't care if you beat me i know i have this under control and i'm protecting you and everything is going to be okay EXPLOIDNGNIG#tomorrow is a mile away tomorrow where i find out who you are tomorrow where we have to come apart#this is how it GOES you're the hero i'm the villain adrien is the lover i'm the monster i'm the cousin#marinette and félix and Knowing each other is so#THEY DESERVE SO MANY OTHER DAYS THEY DESERVE TO SLOW DOWN AND BE WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT HAVE TOMORROW PULL EVERYTHING AWAY AND UAHAUHGAUGH#i'm not well about them. félix and freedom and escape#ALSO i have so many feelings about félix cherishing the people he wants to save so much he was willing to do the same thing that led to#his own trauma and use the peacock miraculous TWICE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ARE YOU KIDDING ME#you can read it differently but right now come with me ARE YOU KIDDING ME#also ALSO i often think about how felinette standing in front of réplique is a reference to pv felinette#and me placing that directly before the wish is a nod to how the pv was rewritten into canon miraculous. a meta wish... felinette remains#but also in universe you can wish away the world that once was and you'll still never find another thing quite like félix#and who you were and could have been to each other today... cherish him marinette... please cherish him for me#i hit tag limit on this essay so i'm not tagging the episodes i used in the amv but i used all eight félix episodes as always
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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
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i'd rather be friendless than to constantly have my boundaries disrespected
#i am so frustrated and annoyed rn#at the beginning of this year my ex best friend reached out to me and i cautiously let her back into my life#things were going great but now she turned a harmless topic into a full blown discussion even though i told her multiple times that i no..#.. longer want to discuss this matter but she kept going & then accusing me of continuing the discussion as well#and tbh i really should've stopped engaging with her messages much sooner but it's so annoying when someone sends you lots of messages with#their opinion although i mentioned several times that i want to drop the topic & then i'm just expected to shut up lol#she didn't respect my wish to move and made a huge fuss about nothing#i stopped replying to her since yesterday bc i really had enough & i should've just left her on read much sooner#but her messages were truly annoying me#her last message now says that we often have different opinions & she thinks she's more optimistic than me & that makes it hard for her to..#talk to me..... i was so dumbfounded when i read that this morning#our initial conversation was about whether a song is more pop or rnb....... & she twisted that into me being negative lmao#she was so obsessed with being right that she couldn't drop the topic even though i told her how exhausting the convo was for me#and like it's such an irrelevant topic... imagine being that obsessed with always being right 😭#idc anymore i'd rather be a negative bitch than someone who disrespects others' boundaries <3#i thought she changed for the better but she's so self-righteous opinionated & stubborn it's awful#i calmly told her that her behavior is bothering me & we easily could've just moved on but she kept going on and on#and she herself admitted that it's one of her flaws that she always has to be right & she's being petty & yet she didn't stop 🤡#even writing all this down feels so silly to me bc the initial topic was sooooo trivial#am i supposed to feel sorry for thinking a song was rnb rather than pop???? like go touch some grass please#she even sent me a screenshot of the wikipedia page of the song to prove that it's rnb & it literally said synth pop & rnb lol#but i wasn't even mad about that her not respecting my wish to drop the topic & move on even though i said it multiple times really pissed..#me off though.... like girl just let it go it's not that deep!!!#but apparently i'm negative & pessimistic for having a different opinion than her 🤷🏼♀️#like imagine starting a fight over smth SO IRRELEVANT but i'm the negative one sure lmao#okay i just needed to get this off my chest bc i don't have anyone to talk to about this & it's just ridiculous to me#☁️
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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