#and as much as i physically can not shut the fuck up about it it's ultimately mine for me. it don't have to be realistic <3< /div>
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It’s me again girl💔 could u do the eltingville boys with a reader that has a bf that mistreats them? I would like to see how they react ESPECIALLY if the bf is preventing her from hanging out with them (wink wink) - 💐 anon
THIS IS GOING TO BE SO GOOD!!! I love making drama with the boys cause I just know that they will be a hot disastrous mess💔 thank you so much for requesting 💐 anon!!♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
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They gon run fades
Cause this whole thing will send them on a mission. They ALL will postpone the club meeting to have a discussion to lowkey lay hands on this lil boyfriend of yours. They may not be all that in physique wise but they aren’t gonna allow him to not only keep you away from them, but to also mistreat you.
They all had their own personal experiences with your boyfriend so they knew that he was just a bitch.
Bill, we all know that he is an asshole, it’s no secret. But before Bill could even give him shit, he beat him to it. Your boyfriend was talking some nonsense that hurt his ego—taking shit on his interests and his looks while he ain’t look nothing special himself. Bill’s ego is the most sensitive thing about him so anything and anyone can make it hurt bad. He was already tweaking out after that first encounter.
Pete automatically knew from the start when you brought your boyfriend around. He could also tell that you acted so differently when he was around and that set off some red flags. So Pete has been wary of him. He didn’t appreciate how your boyfriend would talk to you as if you were stupid and treated you like shit. Now, Pete ain’t just gonna sit around and listen to him bark and yap so of course he spoke out about it to him. Your boyfriend just said some snarky comments about how Pete was doing way too fucking much and that set him off.
Josh would be the butt of the joke whenever your boyfriend was around and it’ll all be about his weight and shit. Josh would say stuff back but he doesn’t go far enough. Your boyfriend seems be appear to be experienced in knowing how to make people shut the fuck up apparently so everytime Josh tries to shoot his shot with a insult or two, it all comes crashing down on him.
Jerry has said something one time to your boyfriend when he flat out called you out of your name, like he said how it wasn’t cool for him to call you that considering how you two are dating and stuff. Obviously that all went out. one ear and out the other and it had Jerry boiling on the inside because he just couldn’t stand watching your boyfriend treat you in such a fashion—with no shame too.
The point where it got serious was when your boyfriend prevented you from doing anything with the boys. This meant no club meetings, no hanging out outside the meetings, plans, or even simply making small talk if you were to cross paths—everything was a big no no. (And if I remember correctly…) You guys were 17 year olds—why was your boyfriend preventing you from hanging out outside? Why is he trying to take the ropes and keep you away from them when you are damn near grown?
The boys have planned a confrontation after sneaking and talking to you (wasn’t an easy thing to do…), they convinced you that your boyfriend wasn’t a good guy for you to be with and how they can tell that it’s taking a toll on you. It was a tough decision but it was the right one. So, they all planned on scheduling a confrontation with your boyfriend…the plan was to catch the two of you walking around the block, and all the boys basically team up against your boyfriend. You on the other hand, with some extra backup, you will make the official choice to break up with him.
The situation was terrible and resulted in a small physical fight between the boys but in the end it all worked out with some bruises and cuts in the end—you were finally free from the grasp of your shitty boyfriend at least’
On a real note, the boys were really worried about you and you were always on their mind when you and this bitch were dating. They didn’t want you to end up getting hurt more than you already did by this guy and they weren’t going to sit around and allow it to happen. Sure, they aren’t necessarily good people themselves but you are their friend and they can’t risk seeing you get hurt like that.
#eltingville bill#eltingville jerry#eltingville josh#eltingville pete#the eltingville club#pete dinunzio#welcome to eltingville#jerry stokes#josh levy#bill dickey#bill dickey x reader#josh levy x reader#jerry stokes x reader#pete dinunzio x reader#kissy 💋#fluff#oneshot#drabble
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one with bernal where he's afraid of hurting the reader because of the size difference, but he can't control himself
smut plss
Marc Bernal – in too deep .ᐟ
a.n: thanks for feeding into my size difference kink! it ended up more as a small blurb
warnings: NSFW!! smut, suggestive content (725 words)
he's in too deep.
your boyfriend, marc, truly cares about you.. how can he not? you're just so petit and pretty, how could he ever do anything to hurt you? he couldn't ever hurt a fly, and he knows you couldn't too.
not that he was agressive, nor did he wanted to ever cause you any pain, but the way you squeeze him is just too much, the way he can clearly see the bulge of him in your belly, the way your tits bounce when he goes fast.
he knows he's tall and he know he getting stronger by the day, but how can he resist? you're so vulnerable under him; his own hand holding your wrist up, as a warning to keep hands to yourself, your back arched, welcoming him deeper in your soaked cunt and eyes flushed shut.
he doesn't want to go harder cause you already made clear this pace is too good for you, but he can't get enough of you. he can never think you're not enough.. he thinks you're way too much for a guy like him.
he slows down his pace, panting loudly as he almost bottom out of you and letting go of holding your wrists, putting his hands by the side of your head and lowering his head, hiding in the crook of your neck.
he whimpers so ridiculously at your mercy. your, now, free hands find his face, cupping his cheeks and making him look at you.
furrowed eyebrows with small tears forming in the corner of his eyes, blushes face with this puppy-like expression, batting his eyelashes at you. his mouth opened as he was about to say something, you wait for it, but he never does.
“qué pasó? is everything okay?” you body froze, your walls contracting against your boyfriend lenght and he gives you a shy moan in response, “aah.. y/n” he calls for your name as you weren't already so impossibly close to him in the moment. (what happened?)
“can i.. can i go harder? please.. any pace you want, please” the thin tear finally roll down his cheek. you can't get any words out of your mouth right now, still processing your boyfriend's words. “marc.. of course you can, why are you asking?” your tender touch doesn't match with the burning sensation of your boyfriend stretching your pussyhole.
“tengo miedo de hacerte daño” he looks down at your bottoms connect; his dick halfway through your walls and soaked in white liquid. theres no place were he's rather be right now, ”go on, cariño" you give him a reassuring kiss on the cheek. (i don't want to hurt you)
he grabbed your wrists once again, pinning them above your head, going all the way inside your hole; every inch of him touching every warm wall of yours. he leans down to start a messy kiss, with tongues everywhere and teeth clashing.
but he doesn't care. he's in too deep.
his pace animalistic fast, his dick touching impossibly far, hitting your prostate again, again and again, making the familiar feeling of a knot in your stomach beginning to form.
“oh! oh! marc!” you chant his name, your legs around his waist pulling him closer. by the way your bodies are connected, you're probably breaking the law's of physic.
the bulge on your belly going up and down, as he move his hips back and forth. all you can hear in the room are moans and grunts, along with the headboard of the bed hitting the wall like crazy, and there's nothing going on on your mind but how close you're to cumming.
“please, please! yes, there!” you're probably screaming so loud that all your neighbors probably are hearing. but can you blame youself? sure you can't, your boyfriend is fucking you so good right now you probably don't even remember your own name.
he hit the same spot over and over as he let go of your wrist, moving his hands down to your clit and stimulating your pussy as he's take you.
you can't even remember how much time took you to cum, but the mess you made surely showed you it didn't take so long. and marc follows your after a few more thrusts; painting your insides white with his babies.
but you can't even get mad at him for finishing inside; he was in too deep.
check out my masterlist .ᐟ
im a major size difference enjoyer, yall wouldn't get it..
thanks for the request and for being so patient. requests still open! bye bye, hope u like it 💋
#pedricos!#marc bernal#marc bernal x y/n#marc bernal x you#marc bernal x reader#fc barcelona#barcelona boys#barcelona x reader#smut#boyfriend headcanons#requests#reqs open
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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i think what a lot of people misunderstand about the oz Fantasy(TM) is that it's not about denying that he's done anything wrong -- we fully know that he's made some awful, selfish decisions. the fantasy's more like;; what if my affection was powerful enough to make him into something good (whatever that means)? what if my love could change the trajectory of his life? this is not how it works in real life (and I think we all know that) which is what makes it a really satisfying fantasy <3
#silver jelly#idk i've gotten into a lot of relationships -- platonic and otherwise -- where i thought i could fix someone#you simply cannot. you can try so hard you can do all the things you think are right and you can Help but at best#it's not the same and at worst it turns into a very unhealthy situation and i think that's what draws me to oz#what if we lived in a world where it worked and what if i am so special and sexy and cool that it makes him want to be a better person#like yes the bangin is part of it i do want to wreck that middle aged man#but the backbone of the fantasy is somehow even less realistic lmao#and as much as i physically can not shut the fuck up about it it's ultimately mine for me. it don't have to be realistic <3#he loves me because of course he does. it matters because of course it does. it's just not that complicated idk!
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I wanna make a Conky ref and lore sheet/bio, I'm really growing attached to that goober
#I'm giving him exaggerated versions of my own percieved flaws and yet he remains lovable#which feels good tbh like if this guy with cranked-up versions of my physical mental and social flaws is lovable then#there's nothing wrong with me! Putting my “worst” traits (most of which are morally neutral) into a homunculus and saying “ily”#he's hairier and has a fluctuating belly-heavy weight and is cartoonishly gullible and naiive and forgetful#he trusts people he probably shouldn't and comes across as clingy/overly-enthusiastic and smells weird and neglects his hygeine at times#he's fruity and doesn't really know it#he's annoying and has poorly-kempt facial and head hair and his room is a mess and he has weird eating habits that concern onlookers#he struggles with social cues and never shuts up and lays around too much and dresses in baggy tattered t-shirts and pants#he cries easy from emotional causes yet has a pain tolerance too high for his own good and takes abuse with a smile because he's so naiive#regardless of his current ever-fluctuating weight his belly always sticks out at least a little and he lacks muscle so looks like a...#...hairy marshmallow even when technically “thin” (I believe the term for being “light” yet having almost all “mass” be fat is “skinnyfat”)#AAAAAND he's probably wretched with diverse and gross-looking scars under that shirt (I struggle w that real bad)#BUT I LOVE HIM!! He's everything I dislike about myself distilled and yet I LOVE HIM!!#I now understand why people say being a career clown is great for self-esteem lol#when you can be your “worst self” and be loved then... well that must mean your normal self is lovable as fuck!#conky lore#conky#my sona#sona#sonas#conkycore
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I just learned something so incredibly fucked up
#i am trembling#i cannot let this enable my issues with paranoia further! haha! oh my fucking god#im not joking btw im literally physically trembling. how did this happen oh god oh GOD nononono dont let it get to you#i just need to know. was someone like. double dealing? was someone telling him about it#i wouldnt give a shit if they were stalking me online occasionally (well id care a little bit but honestly itd just be kinda fucked)#but if someone was telling him about me and my personal stuff?#stop. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to think it happened. i have to get this out of my head#but still. absolutely fucking deranged.#ESPECIALLY bc apparently he's been saying i “made him think he was abusive'' and that doing that was shitty of me bc he actually#just has bpd??????#sol if you're reading this listen closely: one of my best friends has bpd. diagnosed and everything. so shut the fuck up#much like you've been saying i blamed my adhd for being neglectful (read: not meeting your sky-high standards for Truly Loving You 24/7)#you cannot blame your bpd for what a shit person you've been#repeatedly asking you to work on a flaw that's been hurting me is not telling you you're abusive you fucking prick#get a life‚ learn to care about other people away from what they can do for YOU‚#and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.#p.s. imagine being mad that people who were friends with both you and your partner didnt suddenly cut the other one off after you broke up#like actually angry at these people. what the actual fuck. you're like a divorced parent upset that their child still talks to their ex-wife#my posts
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im going to scream i just want to play like a farming or life sim where i can have my little guy be in a wheelchair. i cant find any anywhere i hate this i hate this i hate this
#video games#games#disabled#wheelchair#physically disabled#farm sim#life sim#i was looking for recs on reddit#and i stumbled onto a post about wanting pokemon to let your charachter be disabled and stuff#people in the replies were like#um well i dont know any disabled people but i dont think theyd want to be disabled in the game#and uh it would actually limit pokemon so much#like#shut up#shut up shut up shut up#you dumb fuck#anger#im so pissed#about so many things#there are so few games with disabled charachters#even fewer where you can play as one#and there are like. 3? where you can customize your charachter to be disabled#representation#disabled representation#anyway#if anyone knows any farm/life sims where your guy can be disabled#hit me up
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fuck man it's so fucking frustrating how I'd probably love to clean and organize if i were ablebodied (or even just didn't have my specific conditions but still the nd traits)
I just can't be moving my head around like crazy. walking while moving my arms, reaching my arms down and immediately up, lowering my head to the ground to reach something and then standing back up, having no momentary neck support at any time, those are the worst for me. I would do any task, honestly. I just feel so fucking trash every time I do these kinds of things. standing is excruciating, moving my arms while doing it literally affects my consciousness to the point where I lose track of what I'm doing (and not in the typical adhd way).
as long as I can stay stationary, particularly partially lounging, I am capable of rational, logical thought. I can think through long term consequences, remember the basic physics of the universe, generally function like I am not an alien to this dimension.
#i literally drop things bc i forget im holdinf them#or i think that idk it wont drop ljke im a fuxking astronaut#i slam into things bc i forget i have a physical form#literally being up and movinf around makes my brain SO dissociated and im SO dizzy and my vision is wonky and i can barely focus on staying#up right#but i can do things like go for walks#its all about how much i move my arms and get up and down#so badically i seem like im faking it🫥#i can do 'fun' things but not work#not paying attention to the faxt that i dont much like the activities im doint#i do them to stay alive and make others happy#and genuinely i am incapable of what would make me happy#WHICH IS WORK#GENUINELY#my life is miserable BECAUSE i cant clean or move around#i hate feeling like i contribute nothing to the ppl i love#i hate not being organized#and i HATE not working so so so so so much#the sad fact is that i just really cant work#i have to somehow get better#even though no one knows whats wrong w me or believes im genion3ly experiencing it#i dont have seizures apparently its normal to collapse and go into spasms w ur eyes rolled back in your head.#apparently thats normal#apparently its fine to hallucinate my whole life and have fainting spells and confusion and disorientation and feel sensations as other thin#gs#thats kusy notmal and not indicitive of ANY neurological priblem#so i should shut up and go away and get some CBT about it#i jusy dont fucking know whatcyh3 fuck i am supposed to do#what am i supposed to do to be able to work
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😒
#myevilposts#sighing so loud.#g-d i'm so pissed off. i hate misandrists soooo much i especially hate when they deny that that's what they are.#or act like they are somehow valid bc one (1) man was abusive towards them.#like honey my mom was both physically and mentally abusive to me and i don't hate women. it's very easy to not be a dick actually.#once again. what they should actually be angry about is the systemic issue of the patriarchy or their single abusive man.#not men as a whole. like it's so easy.#it's actually so easy to just hate shitty men and not men as a whole. btw.#also i can't believe people think my struggles to be included in discussions about pregnancy due to uninclusive language#(which is very very much a trans issue.) isn't real just because i'm a man.#honey. i have a womb. i can in theory get pregnant. i don't want to be misgendered and excluded from a conversation#that literally fucking applies to me and is important to my physical and mental health and well being. just because i'm a man.#i am being oppressed in this situation. that is what transandrophobia is.#like is the fact that people are calling pregnancy and abortion 'women's issues' and i'm like 'hey. those things apply to me#and i'm a trans man. please use inclusive language that doesn't misgender and/or exclude me.' and people are#like 'ugh shut up you're literally a man. you should deal with being excluded from this conversation.#that literally fucking applies to you and being misgendered by our language.' actually like progressive?#like do you think it's progressive to say that me getting misgendered and excluded from a conversation due to#cisnormativity is fine. because oh i'm a man. men aren't ever treated like shit ever.#when i am quite literally being shat on for being a man in this situation. despite it literally including me.#transphobia tw#like don't you all literally see that what you're saying is that misgendering is ok just because i'm a man?#and that my having to deal with pregnancy and abortion is invalid? just because i'm a man. and acting like that's a progressive thing#to say??? like literally stoppp. you are literally telling me. who is trans. and being oppressed bc i am trans.#that the transphobia that is specifically targeting me. bc i am trans. isn't real. bc i am a trans MAN specifically.#and like yes. i experience transandrophobia in real life. it is not just an 'online' issue bc no form of transphobia is.
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sorry for being back on my aftg shit andrew is hanging around and i have brain rot
#.txt#my brain is just going ‘yknow? i get it’ on repeat#you know i get it. being raised as a superstar#must be really really difficult for you#always a commodity never a human being#not a single person in your family thinking youre worth a damn off the court#yeah sounds rough#kevin and i talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time#i know its not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced#and infected with these delusions of grandeur#and I know you’re physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can#but I don’t think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit#pity only gets you so many concessions#and you used yours up about six insults ago#so please#please#just shut the fuck up and leave us alone#AND HE SAID ALL OF IT WITHOUT A BREAK#was going to apologize for putting the whole quote in the tags but actually look at my favorite quote boy#hes so 2013 tumblrina clap back
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You know what i hate more than liars?
Lying hypocrites.
#you fucking bitch you never even wanted to why even fucking bother telling me then#i fucking hate my lying ass roommate so much#‘its okay we can go another time’ shut up shut up shut up shut up just kill yourself atp#every damn day you insult me for something i dont do#and then when i do do it you fucking cancel on me just fucking cause#im tired of this shit. my apologies i cant fucking drive and theres no goddamn public transport my fault!#i hate you. you wont. we wont. you dont want to go anywhere so badly? fine.#we wont go fucking anywhere. anywhere. its your goddamn dream.#im glad hou can live such a fucking shut in life while i have no choice to do the same and suffer.#this probably seems wrong to others but idc youve not lived my lifr. its more than this.#its years of nitpicking and making choices that i shouldnt be in the middle of just to be held over later#physical and probably emotional or mental abuse.#its more then ‘being tired’ its more than ‘going another day’#you lied to me. you flat out lied and didnt even try.#do you know how many times ive been berated because i couldnt wake up at the time they wanted(#how many fucking times i was called names just because i asked for it right?#shut up. you have absolutely no goddamn right on what you think is justified until you know the full story#and still probably not even then.#i wish my roommate would just [redacted]. —/ talks about how often she thought about it#and uses it as leverage so might aswell make it a reality right?!#you wanted this you wanted this so badly.#you dont know what the fuck it means to feel and be suicid.#(spesifically refering to my roommate. lots of missing context bc fingrts hurt#but this 1000% doesnt mean that you arent depressed or anything just because you dont selfharm.#—/will never understand the threat of someone commiting suicide just because you didnt respond at a certain time. —/ will absolutely never#understand how important times are to me and why. its not that you didnt. its your constant lack of effort on things i like and nothing else
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one thing about satoru gojo is that he's a freak.
he'll try anything once, and then three more times for good measure. anything! as long as it ends with him emptying his balls, prefer on or inside of you, he's a very happy man to entertain your weird requests.
this, though, is too weird!
"you want to have vanilla sex?" he gawks at you.
you're laying back on his bed, bare and smiling up at him as he climbs over you. he's hard, sure, but he's not flooded with the excitement of your usual ideas.
"why don't i put the collar back on?" he suggests tapping the tip of your nose. "oh! or we could play with those candles again... or you could make me squirt... no? roleplay? anal? some music, at least?"
you shake your head, and if you weren't so damn cute satoru might be more upset than he is. "you know," you start, "plenty of couples have plain sex regularly. i just want to feel you."
"we aren't like most couples," he grimaces. "im the strongest. and you're the sexiest. i don't think she's physically capable of having boring sex with you, baby."
"stop calling your dick a she," you stare up at him. "please? you said you'd try anything."
satoru kisses your lips gently, as boringly as he can do without getting too worked up. you are naked underneath him, after all. "i said that hoping you'd propose pegging me. or letting me put that dildo of yours down your throat while i—"
"just fuck me," you whisper.
and because satoru is secret a lover before he is a freak, he complies. with a gentle nod and a few seconds to line himself up with you, he pushes inside and lets you lock your legs around his waist before he starts a gentle pace with you.
it feels good, of course, it's you. but there's something sweet to the way he fucks you— no, makes love to you, that isn't there when gags and blindfolds and candle wax are in the way. it's just you and him, eyes locked as he becomes whole with you in the most intimate way possible.
he realises, when your eyes flutter shut and you pull him impossibly closer to whisper sweet nothings in his ear, that he might just like boring sex.
"i love you so much," he coos. "like having you like this. just us. god i love you, baby. i think i needed this."
the two of you cum in sync with eachother. you shake and tighten around his cock and he spills into you with sweet moans that sound a little more raw and vulnerable than they usually do. he kisses you silly, peppers his lips all over your face until you're laughing underneath him.
and he pulls back to look at your face, and nods to himself. you smile, and push his white hair out of his face with a gentle tilt of your head.
"what's that look for?" you ask.
and that's when you notice the tears welling in his eyes. the tremble of his lip as he recognises a million different feelings at once. and with a sniffle, and a shaky breath, he grins.
"let's get married."
#reupload from sideblog <3#gojo smut#satoru gojo smut#gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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#dude I can’t take it I have like 6 drafts of me going fucking insane over kieran I actually cannot handle this many emotions#HES WAYYY FUCKING COOL#HES EVERYTHING TO MEEEEE UUURHHGHGHGHGFHH BANGING FIST ON THR GROUND#seeing kieran slander physically hurts me like shut UPPPPPP YOU DONT GET IT YOU DONT GET IT ARRFHHGHGHFHHGHJGH#sorry. normal. normal.#idk how I even fucking survived playing through the game like every sentence out of his mouth or anything#any dialogue that was marginally related to him gave me the urge to throw my switch across the room#I can’t. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t take it#EVERYT(ING ABOUT HIM. HES SO.#like….. he’s so deeply relatable to me… it’s rare to me to find a character that resonates with me this much#especially on this aspect like ughhhhh fuck you. fuck you!! shut up!!!! DONT CALL ME OUTTTTTT#watching kieran is like watching myself from third person and oh. oh man. you were fucking WEIRD. get a GRIP?#‘were’ don’t kid yourself you still ARE. oh my god.#its like getting blasted straight in my face with my own insecurities like shut up. stop it.#you’re. you’re ruining my perfectly crafted facade. I haven’t flaunted this insecurity enough to be in control of it yet can u. stop.#BUT HE GIVES ME SO MUCH HOPE THO. LIKE#I can do it too-! maybe there’s hope for me yet#uuuughhghhhhhh#stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger#head in hands#I’ve been slacking….. shaking head I gotta keep up the momentum#just do it!!!!#it’s been a month+ since… I need to do it. I need to change. you’ve been getting behind… you can still do it…!#write a list…? probably have to… even I’m starting to forget#1) be honest. don’t. don’t change yourself to be ‘palatable’. you’re ryu. your friends will love you no matter what you do because im me#don’t hide away your true self it’s ok!!!!! you can say what’s on your mind you can say your opinions#your preferences… don’t lie….#they won’t hate you they won’t take it personally they want to know about ‘you’ after all… ryu#2) just talk to your friends…. there’s nothing to hesitate about. they understand even if you’re low energy they understand if you’re busy#reached the tag limit fuck
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traumatized by involuntary psychiatric treatment. oh she's just like me fr
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amy pond + involuntary / coercive treatment
( the eleventh hour / the girl who tore through the universe by nikita gill / dead of winter by james goss / the big bang / the girl who tore through the universe by nikita gill / the girl who waited / apollo 23 by justin richards / the big bang )
#i'm sorry btw i never shut up about it but#FOUR YEARS. MY BODY MY LIFE MY WHOLE WORLD WAS DESTROYED BY PSYCHIATRY#AND IT RAVAGED MY LIFE FOR FOUR YEARS UNTIL MY PARENTS STOPPED#DID THEY STOP BECAUSE MY BODY AND ORGANS HAD BEEN IRREPARABLY DAMAGED BY ANTIPSYCOTICS THAT I DIDN'T NEED???#DID THEY STOP BECAUSE I WAS GETTING RELENTLESSLY BULLIED AND LITERALLY PHYSICALLY BEATEN UP BY OTHER PATIENTS PRETTY MUCH CONSTANTLY???#DID THEY STOP BECAUSE I WAS A LITTLE KID AND I WAS SCARED AND I WANTED MY LIFE BACK AND I WANTED TO GO HOME???#NO. THEY STOPPED BECAUSE THEY REALIZED THEY'D BEEN SCAMMED OUT OF NEARLY A MILLION DOLLARS OVER THOSE FOUR YEARS#BY A DOZEN DIFFERENT PLACES THAT PROMISED THEY COULD FIX ME IF ONLY THEY COULD KEEP ME LONGER IF ONLY THEY COULD BE MORE STRICT#AND NOTHING EVER HAPPENED AND I NEVER CHANGED BECAUSE ALL I'VE EVER NEEDED IS PEOPLE TO FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME#AND THERE MAY NOT BE A LOT OF THOSE AT HOME BUT THERE SURE AS HELL AREN'T ANY IN SOME STUPID FUCKING FACILITY#THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY FROM HOME#WHERE I'M INDEFINITELY BEHOLDEN TO THE WHIMS OF SOME TWENTY YEAR OLD PSYCHOLOGY STUDENT#WHO HAS COMPLETE CONTROL OF MY LIFE FOR THE DURATION OF THEIR SHIFT.#i was twelve years old. a child.#do you know what a supine restraint is? i had to learn. it's when a grown man sits on a little kid#and twists their arms behind their back#cause they stepped out of their room to check the TIME.#ok rant over i am so sorry#amelia pond if we could only talk together about wasted childhoods and stolen dreams#if we could only talk about the birthdays and christmases we spent in a windowless room or a house full of strangers or a stale white offic#if we could only talk about doctors in lab coats who promise they can help us and don't tell us the side effects until they're irreversible#i'd like the other doctor better too. if i was her#doctor who#vent post kinda#amy pond#antipsychiatry#fav#4 years.#anti psychiatry#anti psych
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“Did you know—”
“I don’t care,” Sukuna interrupts, wholly disinterested. It’s half past three—(which is, of course, his fault, but that doesn’t mean he’s any less tired).
But you, wholly uncaring, promptly ignore him. “—That some female spiders eat the male ones after mating?”
“What do you want me to do with this information?” He looks at you irritably, glaring at you from the corner of his eyes. You flash him a grin—it’s a mischievous little thing, your lips curled in a cheeky, flirty way that warns him silently that he’s about to risk popping another vein. He seems to do that around you quite often, and it certainly feels like it’s underway once more.
(And, as it always is, his intuition would be right).
“It’s a warning,” you hum.
He snorts, raising a clearly disbelieving brow as he hums, “oh yeah? For what? Are you gonna—wha-hey!”
Not a lot catches Sukuna off guard. You giggle as he barks out a surprised yelp of your name, harshly shoving you away from his chest. There’s a nice, fresh, very crystal and very clear outline of your teeth marked right on the flesh surrounding his nipple.
He looks at you like you’ve lost your mind.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asks incredulously.
You let out a soft, amused little giggle that sounds through the room before he feels your weight shift and fall onto him, making him grunt as his arms steady you and his eyes stare up at your hovering face with an agitated purse of his lips.
“I’m eating you,” you say cheekily, “see?” For emphasis, you leave an equally as shocking bite to his bicep, your head leaning down to get a mouthful of his bare arm. He lets out a low, startled grunt before one large and very firm hand grabs the back of your neck and yanks you off.
“Have you completely lost it?” He hisses.
“We just mated—”
“Who on Earth talks about sex like that? We are not animals who—”
“—And now I’m going to eat you after mating. Like a female spider.”
“If you’re going to be weird, just go the fuck to sleep,” he grumbles lowly.
Sukuna is tired.
(And yes, the reason is partly because he’s a bit inexhaustible once he’s felt the velvet heat of your walls, and yes, it’s technically his own greediness that’s worn him out so physically for the night. But that’s all been the cost for something of greater benefit to him. Something he doesn’t exactly mind draining his energy for.
Bur your odd, unsettling, abnormal and very plainly weird schemes are not a part of the list of things he’s willing to sacrifice his energy for. There isn’t much pleasure in entertaining your nonsense most of the time.
If anything, there’s pain—the stinging bite marks on his skin can attest to that.)
“I’m not tired,” you hum.
“Then let me make you tired,” he offers smugly, lips tugging into a cocky grin as he looks up at you.
“If you didn’t manage that the first time, what makes you think that’ll work the second?” You tease.
He doesn’t seem to like that very much, because with a growl, he pushes the back of your neck until your face falls into the crook of his neck, a strong, bulky arm wrapping around your waist and keeping you in place against his body.
It’d be awfully intimate, and awfully sweet if he didn’t mumble, “I love when you sleep because it’s the only few hours of the day I get to hear you shut the fuck up.”
“Maybe if you’d just appreciated my fun fact—”
“You bit my fucking nipple.”
“I could bite the other one, too, if you want,” you pipe up with an excited grin. He can feel it pressed against his skin as your face buries deeper into the space between his neck and shoulder.
Sukuna is tired. Most of the time, it’s because of you. All of the time, he chooses to allow it because he likes having you around for a good fuck.
(And, of course, there’s all that bullshit about love and affection, too. But that’s just that odd stuff you like to babble about—that odd, unsettling, abnormal and very plainly weird emotional part of you that somehow ropes him into being the same way every once in a while.
He doesn’t like it.)
“You need a lobotomy,” he mutters, wincing when you bite the skin of his neck in response. Not in a manner he likes, either—very much in a manner that makes sure he feels the sharpness of your incisors.
“Don’t be rude,” you scold, “I’m biologically meant to be your predator.”
“You biologically give me fuckin’ migraines.”
You grin—it’s a smile that’s easy. Smooth. Maybe a little giddy, too. It comes out only around Sukuna. Him and his gruff, rugged way of accepting your affection, and his double as rough and crude way of giving it back. His callused hands and toughened knuckles that brush along your cheeks carefully. His crass and undignified words that are carefully thought out enough to never cross the line. His downturned lips and narrowed eyes that only ever soften at the sharp corners around you.
“Next time, I’ll eat you for sure,” you murmur, settling against his chest and getting comfortable. He wraps both arms around you, warm and tight enough that you almost think you can forgo the blanket altogether. “Assert my dominance.”
“You can’t even open the pickle jar.”
“That’s different.”
“It’s only a matter of time until natural selection gets you,” he snickers quietly. You huff, biting back a smile as he yawns.
Gently, with a kiss over the bite mark you left against his neck, you say softly, “goodnight. Love you.”
“Night.”
“I love you.”
“For the love of—love you too, holy fuck. Go to sleep.”
#—rivistyping!#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen x you#sukuna ryomen fluff
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Man, I'm just kind of dazed today
I woke up yesterday around 9am, didn't do much for the day, went to bed... realized it was too hot to fall asleep (cause my window is broken so I can't open it)
So I got up, filled 3 box with papers as I sorted out the magazines and mail
Then I needed to stay up till after 8am so I could go to the post office to return that bowl. Came back and laid down but... you know when your body just feels wired and you really need to sleep but can't? Probably cause it's pumping out hormones to keep me awake to compensate for me being so tired, that's my guess based on how it feels
Anyway, lay down and kind of drift off with a video in the background, but... I think I was just on the verge of sleep but not able to cross over... like dozing at best
Then I hear Bart making noise and look over and he's acting like he's hunting a mouse, and sure enough he was, so he helps me cup it, and then I go take it to a field outside of town to hopefully live a better life... but clearly wasn't sleeping if I'm doing that
And... I'm still up. I think I'm gonna try and take another crack at sleeping... I hope I can do it. Things do at least feel a bit cooler
But yeah, I'm a mess today, gonna be two days worth of dash to look through whenever I get up, and then I can also respond to the couple messages I've got
But oof... hate feeling like this. The non depressed part of me wants to die just because maybe then I could finally rest
#for the record not even feeling that suicidal today; not sure if I'm too tired for it or if I'm just in an ok mood for once#but fuck do I just want to shut off and never have to boot up again; but now and in general#I relate to Bilbo and Frodo talking about being stretched thin... I feel something similar... you know... most of the time#strip the depression aside and I'm tired... and I don't know if any amount of rest will cure it... I don't know if I can truly rest#got a lot of things I want to do; whole lot of skills I want to pick up#but... having to be the parent my whole life; never actually getting a proper break... I'm so tired#my trip to Phoenix was the closest to a break I've gotten; but... there was a set activity in a set time frame#...it still kinda feels like I should have found a way to squeeze more out of it; you know? like as an obligation#not cause I minded how things actually went... but it just felt like I shouldn't have been at the hotel on the couch; should have been out#and then a 3 day window with stressful travel on either side of it... hard to really relax like that#obviously I had a fairly bad breakdown there; one of the few times I was actually at serious risk... not sure if I'd have managed it#don't trust myself to have the nerve to kill myself; but I very much did have a method... if I hadn't had someone to go see the next day#might have just gone ahead with it#but anyway; other than dinner with my friend their friend group and showers... I'm not sure I relaxed there either#I think... I think sleeping was more a maintenance obligation and I sprung up like when I set an alarm#(I so rarely set alarms and almost always wake up a couple minutes before them; it felt like that for 3 days straight)#so... truthfully I don't know if... if I've ever really rested#mhh... no joke; the last time that comes to mind that I didn't feel like I had to be kind of on#was when I was 13 on a school trip; and I'd taken a surf board to the back of the head while being rescued from a rip tide#and so people were worried about me; and I was just kind of laying there relaxing while people played cards and stuff nearby#...mhh... anyway... in less of a mood to say it's a shame I didn't just drown; so I suppose that's something#but... I don't even know what I'm saying; I'm so tired in the lack of sleep sense#and also physically and emotionally or... whatever#well... take care#mm tag so i can find things later
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