#and as i get closer to 23 im starting to accept a lot of it as it is and finding comfort in what i CAN do instead of whats out of my reach

[jean-denim]

I've been trying to figure out what these weird phases I've been going through since I "became an adult," and I've just realized I've gone through the five stages of grief about the state of the world

[yanderes-galore]

IM HERE AGAIN!! Anyways, can you do Yuji with your prompts 23 and 37 with a reader who keeps trying to escape?

I can try, sure! Doing an AU where you knew each other in Jujutsu High but once you graduated and grew older you went on to become advanced Sorcerers. It's unknown if Yuji still has Sukuna or not. Sorry if the plot isn't to your liking, I didn't have a lot to work with since Yuji is so tame on his own.

Yandere! Yuji Itadori Prompts 23 + 37

"You're crying... come a little closer, I'll make it all go away."

"We should get married! It's been long enough, hasn't it?"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Kidnapping, Delusional behavior, Manipulation, Stalking, Isolation, Talks of marriage, Toxic themes, Clingy behavior, Slight starvation (You're choosing not to eat a lot), Implied mind break, Yuji is delusional yet a little lucid, Consensual turned forced relationship.

Yuji Itadori has been your boyfriend since graduation. He had been hopelessly in love with you ever since you two started to dedicate yourselves more to your field and each other. Life's been good in your eyes, especially since Yuji has only ever been getting better when handling himself.

So how did things get so bad?

Nowadays instead of being a happy couple, you're trapped in your apartment. Yuji was adamant when you both graduated to move in together. You both shared the rent and took care of one another.

You didn't mind that...

Until Yuji kept trying to keep you in the apartment.

You wonder what went wrong. Yuji always seemed like such a kind and innocent boyfriend. Always easily excited and clingy with you. It was cute.

You wonder if things began to go wrong when Yuji had brought up marriage.

You still remember when he first brought up the question. You had been dating for around five years when he bounded up to you with a grin on his face. Before you could even ask him what he was so eager about, he held both of your hands tightly.

"We should get married! It's been long enough, hasn't it?"

It was cute how excited he sounded when he brought it up. In fact, if you were ready for it you might've even considered it. He looked so happy.

However, as a new graduate, you were too focused on improving as a Sorcerer to consider marriage with your high school sweetheart. Curses still ran rampant even after graduation. So at the time, you were focused on your career.

"I'm sorry, baby..." You had said, your heart nearly breaking at the look of betrayal on your boyfriend's face. "It just doesn't seem safe right now... we both have a career to keep up with."

"R-Right... I understand!" Yuji has responded with a saddened smile, embracing you tightly.

Back then... you thought that was that.

You wanted to consider marriage in the future. You two had been together for a long time now. Although... you just wanted to focus on more important things right now.

However... now six years in... you begin to wonder if you should've just... accepted or called off the relationship entirely.

"Baby..." Yuji frowns softly, looking at you on the bed. In only a year you looked so much different than the graduate you once were. You looked tired and much thinner now. Yuji had been feeding you, but you just... didn't want any food from him.

"Baby, please look at me..." Yuji tries again, inching closer to sit on the bed. He feels guilt creep into him when he sees you curled in on yourself. Part of him knew this was his fault... but hated the idea of acknowledging it.

Recently you've been escaping the apartment a lot. It had started with arguments, you wanting to continue being a Sorcerer while Yuji wanted you to stay at home so he could protect you. But... every couple has their quarrels, no?

That is until Yuji felt he should be more strict. He begged you not to leave, that he was worried about you and wanted you to stay home. At first, you complied and stayed home a few days to soothe your boyfriend's worries.

Then he stopped letting you out.

Each time you left the apartment by sabotaging locks or playing nice, Yuji would chase you down again. For months you kept trying to leave, both the relationship and apartment. Yet Yuji never relented.

In his eyes you are meant to be together...

Delusional just enough to ignore how you feel about the situation.

Right up until you were curled up in your room, refusing to leave because, well, why bother?

Yuji perks up when he sees your body shudder. A breathy noise akin to a sob leaves your mouth, making Yuji's heart clench. He acts fast, throwing himself on the bed and holding out his arms.

"You're crying... come a little closer, I'll make it all go away." Yuji's words are comforting, as though you're both still loving partners. His embrace feels hot and cagey against your skin. However, you lean in reluctantly.

Did you love him even now?

Yuji is careful to be caring despite all that's happened. He kisses the top of your head lovingly as you sob against him. Hearing you sad makes his grip tighten... a glare thrown towards the wall as he thinks to himself.

He hopes you get better, he really does. He wants to make you his cute little spouse that he can take care of. Although, Yuji is willing to wait until you're feeling... better before bringing it up again.

"Love you so much it hurts...." Yuji murmurs, squeezing you affectionately as he nuzzles into your hair. You say nothing, which is expected, you did recently go against his house rules again.

But... that's okay! Yuji is aware of how determined you are. He just... needs to be patient and protect you like he always has been.

You may be upset now... yet he knows that will change. With a little more waiting... you two can be happy again! When another sob rocks your body, Yuji just holds you tighter... oblivious to how crushing his embrace is.

Partners must stick by one another, right?

He'll stick by you until you're better... then you two can go back to normal and maybe even get engaged!

He's already picked out the ring....

[superlocrians]

18th october , 2024　 ୨ৎ　9:43 pm

i didn’t study, but that wasn’t on my to-do. today i did my one and only quest, clean my room. i’m glad i did. it took me a ridiculous amount of time considering i only needed to put my clothes in the hampers (don’t judge, i was practicing my accepting a grammy speech.) quests tomorrow include:

• study english 3 for at least one hour

• catch up in reading plan

• complete morning routine and all side quests

• start little women (side quest)

im also filming a “one second of my day” video, where there’s one second clips of each different thing i do in a day. i might post that or i might not. very tired, goodnight now!

- porda

oh my goodness there’s this boy at my job and he’s so pretty but he doesn’t work until next sunday and i don’t work sundays anymore.

tw // calorie counting, mentions of eating disorders, venting

i just looked at the caloric content of the food in the chipotle app and holy @#$%&! no wonder i’ve gained 7 pounds since i’ve worked here. i’ll just pay closer attention to what im eating and it’ll go away in no time.

i will try to pacify my hunger with copious amounts of water. i just wanna lose a bit before the holidays really kick in. but when they do i’ll just only eat poorly at events because i have a weak immune system anyway and get sick quickly when i eat lots of junk. it is upsetting im only 10lbs away from overweight. i dont look big. sigh, just frustrated with myself and my impulsive and practically constant binge eating.

i realized in at my highest weight ever (bmi 23) which is certainly a reality check since i’ve always been in the 16s-19s. i tried to eat healthier today which was sort of a fail, lol? i did follow paleo today. tomorrow at work ill just get a salad with double chicken, salsa, sour cream, and cheese and only drink water. that’ll just be 10.3 carbs and 590 calories. that’ll keep me satiated until the end of my shift.

i don’t want to go back to my old ways of punishing myself with no food and barely eating anything and wanting to look so so thin. i don’t want that anymore. but i worry that now when i try to cut some calories i may fall back into my old disordered ways. sigh. i just pray about this all.

i also feel so lost and confused. i know (i think??) i want to go to college but i feel so insecure. i don’t feel smart. i completely doubt my academic capabilities. i’ve been looking at colleges today. do i want a jazz studies degree, a music education degree, a seminary degree or something completely different???? i don’t know. i feel so lost and confused as i previously stated. i also don’t know if i want to move to my dad’s or stay here. it’s been a topic of conversation—since my siblings are on my dad’s side. i feel so torn in every direction. i wish i could drive but i never want to. i must sleep now. sorry if you read this lol, just my ramblings.

[birdsofhands]

10/25/2023

somehow it's always octobers.

and why does this look aesthetic?

today we're falling apart again. me and edgar i mean. will it still matter when i'm thirty? i'm not sure. but as of now, some of my intense girlish feelings at the age of 23 is fading away. watered down. we're calling a rest. a kind of cool off. i guess. the funny thing is that i was all tensed up the entire time we were talking, but when we finally decided to take a break, i felt myself physically relieved. yes it was a bit sad but i shrugged it off and it was easy. im being honest. yes it still is making me anxious. what if he genuinely hates me now? that's my concern. i did not like it that waym him hating me. i know his love the same way i know his hatred. and both are weighty things. i wish i only know his love. it was nice. his love was nice most times and i think ill miss it. but we're really not working out. i think it's probably because of me not wanting to have sex? but that's wrong. i don't deserve such vile treatment. if he loves me he'll respect that. so losing him because of this isn't really a loss. and i don't even see him becoming my husband. [maybe i kinda do sometimes when i remember how he promises to make me a glass of milk when im having a panic attack in the middle of the night or how we danced in our porch in the middle of the night with no music on but then ill remember all the awful things he had said to me] i am confused like a teenager. i am alive and learning how to live. does that make sense? no. and that's the point. do i sound like im trying to make something out of nothing? maybe. maybe that's what im good at. and rambling too. i don't know why im so afraid of journaling when i am this good when i finally start. the words just ebb and flow. when i realize i don't need to make a literary piece like sylvia plath, it becomes easier and freer and i forget why i started this. sorry. i was saying it felt a whole lot emptier when it's done. perhaps it's the thought that he'll come back to me either way like he always does. almost dog-like. and how ill accept him too because well, i have no one and i am afraid to be lonely. is that the truth? i am not afraid to be lonely. [i think journaling to me now also feels like a battle between figuring out whether i'm really being honest with myself or just my old classic people pleasing fake ass self talking? it's hard when you don't know who you are or when you spend your time either wallowing and drowning in your negative energies or distracting yourself with everything you can find instead of figuring out how you feel and processing it. or maybe i just really need help.

ok well let me tell you about today. it was great overall actually, btw im lying in my childhood bedroom that doesn't look remotely close to my childhood bedroom beside my sleeping mother. we just got an aircon. my sister is working below and the blue light of her projector lamp is oozing to the ceiling moving like ocean waves. green laser dots speckled it. my mother just moved and i got scared she'd scold me but she didn't ans that fucking surprising honestly. i fed loki a lot today and we got closer. he lets me pet him now and he comes to me even if I wasn't calling him. he was lovely. that's all for today im anxious.

i forgot to tell you he called me a sad girl today. it hurt actually but he was right i was trying to manipulate him to get him to say sorry to me. and after tht i tried a different approach the narcissist tht i am. i asked him if he really knew the word and that he should tell me what it means and guess what? he caught on my schemes. he said no. cuz im just going to turn it against him which was exactly what i was gonna do but well i was being obvious and it would be really disappointing if he hadn't caught on but damn. that was still shocking. and surprisingly numbing. after tht i just accepted defeat. i wanted to rest i didn't wannafeel like tht anymore. it's like he doesn't love me anymore. he's ok with losing me now.

---

the morning that day, loki went to me and woke me up with a massage. it was the first time ive experienced something like that.

[americxn]

heeeyyy ive been thinking abt colin a lot and wondered like how it would be to have make up sex with him? After they had a huge fight then they have angry sex and then (still rough and hot) make up sex in the morning?

Im not sure if theres a difference between angry or make up sex but yeah

Hot Tempered (Colin Zabel x fem!Reader)

wordcount: 5.1k warnings: NSFW, penetration, giving and receiving oral, swearing, verbal arguing and a little bit of physical conflict

Yours nails scraped harshly on the surface of your kitchen table as you snatched up your phone, Colin’s face frozen in an irritated frown as you glanced back at him. His chair scuffed against the hard wood of the floor as you spun on your heel, heading for the door and the stairs beyond. “Y/n.” Colin’s voice was rough as he called after you, his long strides closing the distance between you as he reached out for your arm. “No, Colin.” You spat, whirling on him and wrenching your arm from his grasp. “I’m done talking about it, just fuck off.” His face fell, all of his agitation dropping from his features at the ferocity with which you cursed at him.  Your anger doused any guilt that should have swarmed you as the creases of annoyance on his face instantly smoothed over, his arm falling limp at his side. “Sleep down here.” You ordered firmly, turning once more and making your way to the stairs; your footfalls were heavier than intended. Shoving the door to your shared bedroom open with a shoulder, you flopped face first on the bed, gripping your pillow and smothering your face into it. Tears of hot frustration leaked from your eyes, dampening the fabric beneath your face as you clutched onto it, replaying the screaming match that had just occurred between you and your fiancé. It was undoubtedly the worst argument that the two of you had ever had.

From below, you heard the front door opening, closing harshly a second later.  You lay on the bed for several long minutes, the pillow clutched to your face staunching the flow of your tears. Only when your phone buzzed beside your head did you lift your face out of the confines of the pillow, the sudden light burning your teary eyes as you glanced at the screen as it lit up with Colin’s name. 

I won’t come to you until you’re ready to talk. Message me whenever that is.

You chucked the phone to the bottom of the bed with a soft sign, rolling onto your back and rubbing your hands over your face. Why did he insist on always being so patient? For whatever reason, his generous offering of space refuelled your anger, anger that was perhaps directed at yourself this time. Another hot tear squeezed its way out of your eye, rolling down the side of your face and disappearing into the hair at your ear. Swiping the wet trail away, you pushed yourself off the bed, storming for the bathroom and wrenching the faucet of the shower, causing scolding water to pour. You didn’t allow the water to cool, shucking off your clothes and stepping under the steaming torrents; it hit your skin in fiery relief, leeching some of the anger from your body and carrying it up into the space of the bathroom as steam, condensing and dripping in cool droplets off the mirrors and windows. You emerged from the shower half an hour later, the adrenaline of your argument having worn off entirely, a heaviness settling over your body in its place.  Your clothes remained in a heap in the centre of the bathroom floor, the fabric dampened slightly by the clouds of heat from the shower.  Sleep tugged at your eyes and you glanced at the alarm clock on your bedside table: 23:17. You obeyed the heaviness of your eyelids, allowing it to steer you towards the bed, flopping down onto its softness once more, the sheets cool against your warm skin, a comforting embrace in the place of Colins.

When Colin returned home, creeping warily up the stairs and softly pushing open the door to your shared room, it was almost two in the morning. He had gone to the office, taken his spare keys and lounged at his desk for hours that seemed to stretch away into eternity. His anger at you and your unforgivingness had long since softened, dripping away into pools of regret and willingness to compromise; he couldn’t even recall who had started the argument and what is was about.  But looking at you now, your naked body stretched out atop the covers, your torso expanding with each laboured breath you took, any thought of the argument slipped from his mind’s grasp.  Tugging off his coat, he hung it on the back of the door, reluctant to take his eyes off your sleeping frame for too long, your arms grappled around your pillow, your body softly curving across the bed. On tiptoe, he approached you, sitting gently on the bed beside your waist. Your eyes were closed lightly, your lashes fluttering slightly in sleep and your mouth cracked open in a soft part. He exhaled through his nose, rubbing his hand on the thigh of his jeans to ensure that his palm was somewhat warm before placing it tentatively on your waist. When you didn’t stir, your laboured breaths unfaltering, he began to move his hand down to your hip and up to your rib, trailing his fingertips along your sleep warmed skin tenderly. When you finally stirred, a small noise cracking out from the back of your nose and your legs shifting, you forced open one eye to see Colin surveying you carefully. You pulled open your other eye, blinking at him in an attempt to clear your sleep fogged vision; his lips tugged upwards in a small, surrendering smile. You let your eyes fall shut once more, sighing through your nose before shifting onto your back. Colin’s eyes dipped once, taking a thirsty scan of your exposed body before going back to your sleepy face, his smile widening when you held out your arms to him. He accepted, shuffling forwards before folding over you in an embrace, smiling into your bare chest as you folded your arms around his shoulders. You savoured the feeling of his hair brushing softly against your collarbone, sighing into his weight and allowing your eyes to drift shut once more. Colin’s head shifted, his cheek coming to rest on your chest; your skin was warm and soft beneath him. He allowed more of his weight to spread over you, your hips pressing into his as he flattened himself fully onto you. You cracked open one eye as he fell still once more, his breath coming out hot on your skin. You were glad he didn’t say anything, content to bask in his presence and indulge in his warm weight on top of you. The room fell into silence once more, sleep crawling back into your reach. You grasped for it, your arms slackening in their hold around Colin’s shoulders. The shift of his head against your skin pulled you away from the desired slumber once more, Colin turning to press a kiss to the space just above the valley of your breasts, his lips warm as they brushed against your skin. You stayed motionless, hoping that he would think you were asleep and let you be. But of course, he wouldn’t let that happen. He repeated the simple action of pressing a kiss to your skin, this time with more persistence. He lifted his head to regard you when you remained immobile, a small frown painting his forehead with creases. “Y/n?” You opened your eyes as he addressed you directly, glancing down at him. “Yes?” You muttered, your bad mood threatening to take over once more with his persistence. You just wanted to sleep. “Are we going to talk about it or...?” “Honestly, Colin. I would rather not.” You responded flatly, shutting him down. He pushed himself off you at you short reply, sitting back and running his fingers through his hair. “Well I want to talk about.” He pushed, his voice gaining a shade more strength. You surveyed him blankly before rolling onto your side, turning away from him and bringing your legs up to your chest, allowing your eyes to shut once more. “Y/n. Are you serious? I left the house for god knows how long; I’ve given you space. Talk to me.” “I don’t want to talk about it.” You uttered, voice muffled by the pillow you had buried your face in. “Well I do, goddamnit.” He spat, his prior agitation returning in hot waves as you continued to dismiss him. Led by his fresh anger, he reached out, taking ahold of your forearm and pulling harshly, forcing your body to twist in his direction.  Your eyes filled with furious surprise as he made you turn to him, recovering a second later and ripping your arm from his grasp. “Fuck this, Colin.” You spat, sitting up and scooting to the edge of the bed. Your feet brushed the floor as you made to push yourself to standing but Colin was too quick, a potent wave of utterly irritated disbelief filling him; wrapping his arms around your torso, Colin threw you back onto the bed, the sheets soft against your skin as you landed, Colin moving to kneel by your chest. Your glowered at him, pushing yourself onto your elbows. Colin’s face intercepted your path, appearing before you, an angry hue staining his cheeks. “Why are you being like this?” He demanded gruffly, your noses close to touch him. “I’ve told you that I don’t want to talk about it.” You ground back, standing your ground, refusing to balk from his mounting fury. “So what? We’re just going to pretend that it didn’t happen?” He challenged, his dark eyes boring into yours intensely. It wasn’t often that Colin presented this side of him to you, the side that had drawn so many confessions from suspects in his line of work. “Yes. Yes we are -” “No, we’re not.” He cut you off, his nose brushing yours slightly as he leaned in even closer, his upper lip curling into an enraged snarl. “You don’t get to just tell me to fuck off and then refuse to speak to me about it.”  You fell silent at his words, realisation of how unreasonable you were being washing over you. But you could’t back down now, your pride wouldn’t allow it. “I can do what I -” Colin’s lips crashed onto yours, your noses fully pressing against each other as he closed the small distance between your faces, stealing your next words as he cut you off once more. A small squeak of surprise emanated from the back of your throat as Colin, instead of pulling away to continue round two of the argument, titled his head to deepen the kiss, running his tongue along your lower lip once in warning before flooding eagerly into your mouth. The kiss was demanding and punishing, roving thoroughly around your mouth, your tongue struggling to keep up with his as he ran is across your own, making strokes across the roof of your mouth with the tip, drawing shudders from your naked body. He leaned in more, his hands finding your shoulders and running down your spine, meeting at the small of your back and lowering you fully to the bed. His hands trailed to your hips as he lifted a leg, shifting to straddle you. You were torn between shoving him off and gripping onto the front of his shirt to pull him closer. Settling on the latter, you reached for the soft fabric, your fingers grappling into the material and tugging, forcing his lips to form a tighter seal around your own. He groaned at your roughness, one of his hands moving slowly up from your hip, across the plane of your ribs and around the curve of your breast to your throat. He pressed his thumb into the hollow of your neck, sighing at the pulse he found fluttering there as you lifted up your hips slightly beneath him, silently screaming your mounting need at him. His thumb remained at the base of your throat as his tongue made another thorough sweep of your mouth, your hands releasing the front of his shirt, only to attach to the buttons holding it closed, fumbling with them in your feverish need to have his bare skin against yours.  Colin’s annoyance was only mounting with your drawn out kissing, your fingers stumbling in their hurry to free him of his shirt. He pulled away suddenly, your head lifting off the pillow of its accord, trying to follow his lips. Sitting back on your hips, Colin’s face was flushed with a rosy hue as he ripped apart the last of the buttons that you hadn’t been able to undo, both of your uneven breathing filling the room as you lay beneath him, reigning in your impatience and watching as he started on his pants. The clacking of his belt as it was pulled it undone drew a quiet groan of anticipation from the back of your throat, the subsequent sound of Colin’s zipper drowning out the weak noise. He fell back down onto you, one of his hands spearing into the pillow next to your head, the other reaching down to wrench his pants down his legs, taking his underwear with them. His hand fell onto your upper thigh, his eyes flicking to bore into yours as his made a tantalizing trail with his fingertips up the inside of your thigh to your aching core, allowing his nails to dig into your soft skin ever so slightly.  You let out an unsteady exhale as he drew a line straight through your awaiting cunt with a single finger, letting out a stunted groan of approval at the wetness he found there. You braced yourself for his engorged cock as you lay still beneath him, staring up at him as he made another exploratory sweep of his finger through your folds, your juices gleaming on his fingertip when he pulled his hand away. You opened your mouth, readying to scold him for suddenly taking so long when he sat back, providing you with the view of his swollen cock curving towards his stomach, its head purple and weeping creamy precum.  You arched your back slightly in a gesture of indignation, pushing your tits up in the hopes of luring him back down on top of him. Instead, much to your annoyance, he pushed himself to his knees. You could’ve drooled at the sight of his cock bouncing slightly with the movement, your hands coming to cup your own tits as your tongue made a sweep along your lower lip. Colin, who had taken a second to admire your body below his, the goosebumps smattered across your skin, your hair fanned out across the pillow beneath your head and your eyes, lustfully dark and still half-lidded with sleep, reached down, taking your waist in his hands and pulling you up, twisting your torso. He manipulated your body, forcing you face down on the bed. You immediately lifted your hips up, waving you ass in a beckoning gesture as Colin settled back over you, aligning himself with your entrance, his tip pushing in ever so slightly.  He paused here, causing you to hiss in impatient agitation, your arms lifting to gather the pillow beneath your head under your chin, arching your back in order to give him better access. Your face buried into the pillow with a deep, placated groan as he finally pushed himself all the way into you. Pulling out immediately, Colin sunk himself back into your cunt, taking his time to fill you thoroughly before setting about fucking you at a steady pace.   “Oh god.” You gasped when Colin began to thrust at an established pace, hard and deep, drawing out of you slowly, only to slam his fullness back into you. “Oh fuck.” The intensity with which he immediately started to fuck you made your fingers and toes tingle, your pussy being gloriously stretched open. Your moans were broken and breathless as Colin pounded furiously into you from behind, small sounds of pleasure squeezing their way through his tightly gritted teeth as he took you thoroughly. You groaned, your fingers gripping onto the pillow beneath you as he repeatedly slammed into you with such force that your body moved up the bed, the covers creasing around your body. His hands quickly looped under your thighs to pull them up, positioning you so that your ass was in the air but your chest and face remained pressed into the bed. Your the muscles in your back strained, aching slightly at the harsh angle that Colin positioned you into but the dim pain barely registered as he continued to pound into you from behind, pushing your body further and further into the mattress with each stroke. “Oh. Oh, Colin.” You groaned luxuriously, your name on his lips only fuelling him to go harder, faster, deeper. Just when you began to gasp, slightly overwhelmed by the pleasure that he was abundantly giving you, tears pricking at your eyes, Colin, with a shuddering breath, released your upper thighs and planted his hands onto the hot skin of your back, his fingertips digging into the planes of your back, his nails clawing into your skin. You squeaked his name as your pleasure began to mount, each one of his frenzied thrusts ripping a layer from the ball of ecstasy glowing in your stomach, the release hidden at the centre Colin’s goal as he pushed you further and further to climax. Your eyes rolled shut, tears of utter pleasure burning them as you bit down on the pillow, your pleasure building, building, building, Colin’s thrusts punctuated by his own rough groans of gratification as he, too, neared climax. Your body went rigid beneath Colin as your orgasm slammed into your body, sending waves of unforgiving pleasure rippling through your entire being. You almost screamed at the force of your climax, Colin muttering encouragements through gritted teeth with each forceful slam of his cock into your pussy. Your fingers fell away from the pillow you had been grasping, grappling with the sheets pooled around your writhing body instead as you gasped for air, Colin’s hand coming around to grab your chin, forcing your teeth to release their tight hold on the pillow and holding your face so that your neck was craned upwards towards the ceiling. You couldn’t seem to gain control of your eyes as they rolled back again and again, each of Colin’s thrust punctuating the aftershocks of your orgasm as you struggled to come down from your high. But he didn’t stop. And it was all you could do but keep gulping down breaths of air in time to his wild thrusting, his hands settling on your hips to pull you further onto his cock. Your fingers shook from where they clenched the bed sheets pooled around you, your legs trembling so violently that it was a miracle you didn’t collapse fully onto the bed. Your gasped moans turned into high-pitched whines, the sudden sloppiness of Colin’s thrusts as his hips snapped relentlessly into you signalling that he, too, was dangerously close to coming undone. He grunted your name and with one last punishing drive of his cock into you, he fell forwards onto your body, his teeth finding the side of your neck and clamping down as he spilled into you, rocking his hips in order to draw out his pleasure.  You were whimpering, his moans loud at your ear, muffled by the tender skin he held in his bite. He released his hold on your hot skin as the last of his seed shot into you, taking a shuddering inhale and moving his lips to press a kiss to your shoulder. You were still heaving down gasps of air when he pulled out, your head falling back onto the pillow beneath you as he released his hold on your chin, collapsing away from you and onto his side of the bed. Your back gave out, your ass bouncing slightly as it, too, fell onto the mattress. You turned onto your side, your mingled wetness coating your thighs as you moved, staring at Colin with hooded eyes. He offered you a tentative smile. You returned it, reaching out a hand and taking his, squeezing his fingers affectionately. “Fuck you.” You breathed at him, playful intent sparkling in your exhaust clouded eyes. “Yeah, fuck you too.” Colin offered in response, bringing your joined hands up to his mouth and brushing his lips across the back of your fist. “Sorry.” You added quietly, your blinks slow and heavy as you struggled to keep your eyes open, sleep beckoning you to fall into its embrace. “I’m sorry, too.” Colin agreed, reaching over to pull your body to his, peppering your face with kisses before untangling himself from your hold and standing, retrieving his shirt from the floor before pacing for the bathroom.

You were awoken the several hours later by the watery light of the morning filtering through the blinds of your bedroom, Colin’s body a warm presence behind you. His arms were twined around your abdomen with his face buried in the crook of your neck, his puffs of sleep infused breath settling onto your skin. You shifted slightly, bunching the covers up beneath your chin with a sigh of contentment and pushing your body further into Colin’s. He stirred at this, the steady rhythm of his breathing interrupted as your movement dragged him from his deep sleep. His arms tightened their looping hold around your abdomen and you turned, craning your neck to plant a kiss on the top of his head. Pulling his face from your neck, he offered you a sleepy smile, his eyes barely cracked open against the natural light infiltrating into the room. “Good morning.” You mumbled, your breath stale and voice weak from lack of use. “Morning.” He murmured back, his chin settling onto your shoulder as he gazed at you. You smiled sweetly at him, disrupting his hold on your waist to move onto your back, Colin drinking in the view of your side profile that you offered him. A dim ache glowed from between your thighs, an ache that you savoured, your eyes fluttering closed with a soft sigh as you recalled the ferocity with which he had fucked you. Your lower lip caught between your teeth at the memory, Colin’s curiosity peaked as he tracked the movement. “What are you thinking about?” He mused quietly. You turned your head to look at him, debating whether to lie or expose to him how much you enjoyed the rare appearance of his rough side the night before. “I’m thinking of you fucking me.” You shrugged, forcing a shade of feigned innocence into your tone. Colin drew in a breath, his eyes opening fully at your words. “I’ve been thinking about that too.” He admitted in agreement. You snapped your head to his, your neck stiff. “Really?” You asked. Colin nodded, the full weight of his chin settling into your shoulder as he relaxed fully into you. “Did I look pretty from behind?” You pressed quietly. Colin lifted his head to survey your full face. You settled your head further into the pillow, blinking easily up at him. “You looked very pretty from behind.” He confirmed, his morning voice rough and low, coming out almost like a purr. You reached up, running your fingertips softly down the side of his face. “I want to do it again.” You admitted, your eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips. His low chuckle of response sent sparks of arousal skittering through you, drawing some wetness to gather between your thighs. “Where are your manners?” He tutted playfully, moving swiftly to straddle you once more, the covers lifting around his shoulders as his hands found your face, cupping your cheeks in his sleep-warmed palms. “Please.” You added, allowing your gaze to become doe-eyed as you stared up at him. His lips curved into a small smile, his head cocking slightly to the side as he lowered his face to yours, catching your lips in a fleeting kiss. You melted into the kiss as his hands moved from your face, trailing lightly down your sides before settling on your hips. Disconnecting his mouth from yours, his moved his lips down to your chin, pressing several kisses from there to the hollow of your throat. You tipped your head back, exposing the column of your throat to him, gyrating your hips slightly under his weight as his allowed his lips to venture further, his kisses becoming hot and open-mouthed as his cut through the space between your breasts and to your bellybutton.  You shuddered beneath the soft brush of his warm lips, his tongue making occasional contact with your hot skin as he made a meandering track downwards, pausing every now and then to latch his teeth onto you, sucking your skin into his mouth. Your breathing became ragged as he reached your mons, kissing and nipping at the space just above your ever wetting cunt with maddening leisure. You reached down, allowing your fingers to tangle in his short hair and tugged persistently at the roots; the desired effect was achieved: Colin groaned, his breath hot on your skin, and detached his mouth from your mons, glancing up at you before repositioning his head and licking a long stripe up your aching centre. “Yes.” You groaned in blissful encouragement, the second stroke of Colin’s tongue causing wetness to pool, coaxing an aching sort of pleasure to spread across your cunt, your folds swelling in response to his ministrations. His hand settled onto your lower abdomen, holding your hips still as he buried his face into you, unleashing himself with ravenous intent on your clit. You mewled with pleasure, the sudden barrage of his tongue on your clit sending strong jolts of satisfaction through the entirety of your body. “Oh god.” You moaned, breathless as Colin continued to lap at your cunt, sucking and nipping at your clit. His fingertips nudged at your entrance and you attempted to push your hips up into them in encouragement, Colin’s low groan at your desperate efforts causing you to gasp and fall limp under him as the sound rumbled through your pussy. He pushed two fingers in, curling them instantly and expertly brushing the rough pads of his fingertips against the spot hidden within you that had your toes curling. You moaned his name, your pent up sexual need following last nights rough fucking of reluctantly proposed apology growing with each flick of his tongue and curl of his fingers. Colin’s cock twitched in response, his name falling from your lips fuelling him to push another finger inside of you, thrusting them in and out of you at a steady pace whilst his tongue worked tirelessly on your clit, each stroke, circle and carefully calculated nudge of his tongue adding fuel to the glowing bundle of pleasure forming in your lower abdomen. You tugged on his roots in needy encouragement, his generous attentiveness of your pussy both not enough and too much.  “Yes, yes, yes. Colin.” A wave of heat rolled through you as your release neared, Colins fingers quickening their pace in your pussy as his tongue maintained its steady lapping at your wetness. “Colin,” his name was a drawn out moan falling from your lips, your head turning to the side, pressing your nose into the pillow beneath you. He hummed onto you, the pace of his fingers slowing as he held them deep inside of you, twitching and curling his fingertips. Your eyes rolled at the intense sensations that his change in technique sent sparking through you; the sudden tension that settled over your body only spurred Colin on, his fingers remaining buried deep within you as his tongue worked fervently, licking you closer and closer to your release.  Your head tipped back, pleasure pooling in your loins. “I’m gonna cum.” You announced on a breathless groan. At your words, Colin groaned his approval, his fingers once again quickening their pace, curling and twisting within you. He indulged in the string of continuous moans that fell from your lips, savouring the feeling of his tongue running across your clit as he finished you off, your body bowing entirely off the bed as your grip in his hair tightened, a wave of considerable pleasure slamming into you. His name was a drawn out moan on your lips as he licked you several more times, helping you through the orgasm that had your eyes rolling and your toes curling. Your thighs clenched deliciously around his head, Colin’s own moan of satisfaction vibrating through the electrified surface of your pussy. When your body collapsed back onto the mattress, the pupils of your eyes re-emerging with a gasp, Colin gripped onto your thighs, pulling his head from your heat and gazing upon your sated body, the scent of your arousal drifting up to meet him from between your thighs. You glanced down, the sight of his swollen lips coated with your cum causing a ball of fresh need to form in your lower abdomen. You blinked slowly down at him, a satiated smile spreading across your face. He grinned up at you, moving to cover your body with his once more, your hands falling onto the pillow at either side of your head as his lips met yours, the taste of your own musk coating his lips and tongue being passed onto your own. Pulling away, he placed a loving kiss on your nose, grinning down at you. “Do you forgive me now?”  Reaching up, your brushed the short strands of dark hair away from his forehead before answering. “I forgave you as soon as your cock entered me last night.” You mused softly, his eyes gleaming with arousal as they bore into your own. “Likewise.” He agreed, lowering his face to yours once more to lay a tentative kiss to your lips. Your hands found his shoulders, your lips curling up against once another as you pushed, Colin aiding you in flipping him onto his back and allowing you to straddle his torso. Permitting your fingertips to trail down the strong planes of his stomach, you leaned in, nipping at his earlobe before whispering, “I need to make sure that you fully forgive me.” Drawing away, Colin’s eyes were alight with aroused curiosity, pulling in a sharp breath when you moved further down his body, ensuring that his clothed erection scraped against your still throbbing heat as you positioned yourself on his thighs, pulling his cock free.  Colin gazed down at you, raising his arms to tuck them under his head, your hand closing around his shaft. You ran your thumb along his slit, gathering the bead of precum that had formed there before lowering your mouth to him.

taglist: @kitwalker02 @three-eyed-snail @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove @undeadcortez @kitwalker64 @samsassinparvismagna @xmaximoffic @divineruler @liandav @tatesweaterweather @evanmybeloved @tatelangdonsupremacist @ikkleroniekins (let me know if you want to be added or removed <3)

[ushiwakaout]

Valentine’s Day with the Haikyuu Boys

Various x Female Reader || Different Lover Tropes (sfw)

Iwaizumi Hajime (Friends to Lover Trope)

Y’all have been friends for as long as him and oikawa have been friends- but just a little more distant

You’re the person he goes to when he has girl problems or problems in general

So when he isn’t feeling particularly well about himself he goes to you.

He lays his head on your chest, your shoulder, your lap (usually 99% always your plush thighs)

He makes you play with his hair and his hands when he’s feeling sad because you care for him like no one else has (well, his mother but you know what I mean.)

But tell me why y’all haven’t dated. No one fucking knows. Not even oikawa.

So a few days before V-day you ask Iwa if he was a valentines and he says No and questions why you asked him.

You tell him not to worry and plan out everything

HE’S SO SO EMBARRASSED WHEN YOU BRING HIM A SINGLE WHITE ROSE A HOMEMADE CHOCOLATES

He’s like? “W-why? Why’d you do that?”

and you obviously have the tsundure qualities he has so your like “B-because i like you stupid!!! Now are you taking the damn gift or not? I know Oikawa would-”

He’s like- NO NO. Stop right there. “Give me that! SHITYKAWA WOULDNT APPRECIATE THIS THE WAY I WOULD!” Iwa is barking at this point

You: “FINE! THEN! TAKE IT- NOT LIKE I CARE!”

whole school it just watching you guys romantically bark at eachother

Iwa: “FINE! THIS MEANS WE’RE DATING, RIGHT?”

You: “YES.”

Iwa: “GOOD.”

You: “GREAT.”

it’s so awkward the whole day. like grossly awkward. but the tension dies down when you sit next to him during lunch and slowly caress the back of his hand the way you did when you weren’t dating

he’s glad you opened up to him because it would have taken him much longer to admit that he liked you

Time Skip Iwaizum Hajime 

Buys you a bouquet of 23 white roses the day before valentine’s day to give you the twenty-fourth on valentine’s day. He does this every year now.

You guys invite friends over because as (almost) 30 years old you think it’s a little cheesy, Hajime acts like its Valentines Day every day. So when Matsukawa and Hanamaki come over, they get really drunk and they appreciate you guys for not being lovey dovey around them and they start sobbing and laughing bc they’re single.

This becomes a tradition but ofc, sometime iwa calls ahead of time to tell them not to come over for... certain reasons.

He’s probably the cheesiest man on earth because he does not romance well- neither do you but he tries his best.

Would probably ask you to marry him on valentines day if you hadn’t told him before hand “If you even think about proposing on valentines day- I will rip out your organs... Ugh- thats so cheesy, everyone gets engaged on valentines day... Do it like the morning after new years or sum...”

*iwa secretly putting a red velvet box back in his underwear drawer* 

*laughing nerveously* “Hahaha, right- fucking stupid...”

You look at him blankly “Don’t tell me you where about to propose?”

Iwa: “NO! NOT AT ALL.”

You: “What are you hiding in your underwear drawer then, Hajime?”

Iwa: “NOTHING WOMAN, STOP BEING NOSY.”

Osamu Miya (Platonic)

You look so pretty when you come into the gym and everyones like “looking good y/n.” and it’s normal bc your their manager- ofc they’d hype you up.

But the closer they get, they notice your crying.

Osamu isn’t in the gym, he’s getting water in the back and he sees that Aran is holding you in his arms and he just knows something is wrong and everyone is trying to hold him back because he knowns exactly what happened. He’s calling Atsumu over and he’s ready.

Everyone is chasing them down and Osamu already has his guy pinned to the floor (lets just say he has baseball practice)

You’re rushing to get Osamu off but get gets a few swings in before you completely pull him off.

Samu: “You’re too good for this Idiot anyway.” he looks at Kita, “I’m ditching practice and I’m taking her out, I’m not taking no as an answer.”

It was the first time anyone has stood up to Kita and he just nods.

Samu: “Let me wash up, alright? I’ll take you somewhere nice.”

He kisses your forehead and runs your thumb on your cheek, “Stop crying, makes you look ugly.”

As much you wanted to frown, you bursted out a laugh before shoving him away, “Not as ugly as Atsumu.”

Time Skip Osamu Miya (Boss/Employee Trope)

Osamu calls you really early in the morning to ask you to work on valentines day. For some reason, he hates this day more than anything. He doesn’t like how girls (of all ages) bring him stuff and he ALWAYS has to reject them but now since your working you’re the the ones who kicks them out.

He loves watching you run them away with a sweet smile and when you turn around you have the most annoyed look on your face, it’s really cute.

Samu: “Thank you princess.”

You: “Yeah, shut up and get to cookin’ boss.”

He just smirks and tilts his little onigiri hat and starts on orders again

Once the shift is over and the restaurant is closed, cleaned and organized, you’re waiting for him at one of the tables you didn’t pick up yet and he brings you out a really cute meal.

You: “What’s this for?”

Samu: “A thank you, for- *clears throat* not leaving my side... and I-uh don’t want you to do so, any time soon.”

You’re looking at him blankly. He forgot how blunt he had to be with you.

Samu: “I- God, I’m trying to ask you to be my girlfriend.”

You: “OH! Oh my god.... Really? Are you sure?”

Samu: “Y/n, I- You’re lucky I love you....”

You: “L-Love me?”

He looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights... “Uh-I uh... crap- I didn’t mean-”

You: “Shut up and kiss you Idiot.”

Samu: “Okay- yeah good idea.”

Matsukawa Issei (Best Friends Older Sister || First Love Trope) @sloppykyuu

You’re only two years older than him but ever since he became friends with Hanamaki (around the age of 7) he came over once and you bumped into him and he blushed to the point he looked like a cherry tomato

Maki thought it was gross that he suddenly started liking his older step sister

You and Hanamaki get along really well now (You’re 18, making Maki and Matsun are 16), so whenever Matsukawa is around you jokingly called him “Nii-san.” When Hanamaki wasn’t there and he spit out his drink. 

You laughed so hard and just ruffled his hair a little and left him alone for the rest of the day

Ofc you teased him a lot but the second you turned 18, they cooled down a lot. 

So when he gives you a bouquet of Sakurasou (Primula Sieboldii, which signify desire and long lasting love. 

Matsukawa: “ Please accept the flowers- I know you’ve been keeping your distance because of your age and you don’t have to accept my feelings for you but please accept these flowers.”

The sweetest boy you’ll ever meet ngl, “Thank you Matsun...” you gave him a kiss on the cheek and ruffled his hair. “As me again when you’re older, yeah? I’ll always be willing to give you a chance.”

Timeskip Matsukawa Issei

When he turns 18, you weren’t single. He was so miserable watching you be happy but when you come home a little sad looking, Hanamaki and him are pretty confused when you tell them that YOU broke up with your boyfriend

Maki: “Everything was going alright with you guys- what happened?”

You: “I uh- I lost feelings... Nothing against him or anything, I just... just happen to like someone else now.”

You don’t look at Matsukawa so he’s like- ugh.... another guy? he’s heartbroken just a little.

3 years later when both of you got drunk when Maki was out for a valentines day date- Matsun was like, “Admit it already, you’ll never find a guy who dedicates to you the way I have.”

You’re a blushing mess since your drunk and you just pin him to the floor, a little teary eyed, “Maybe your right... Maybe I should give you your chance. You’re still so in love with me? After all this time?”

He brushes a strand of hair away from your face and smiles, “Of course I have... You I would have lasted being friends with Maki if it weren’t for you?”

Maki: “I HEARD THAT!”

Both of you laugh but you lay your body on him as he wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead as your step brother grimaced at the sight. “Took both of you long enough, disgusting...”

 Ushijima Wakatoshi (Reunion Romance Trope)

You’ve known Ushijima the longest out of everyone, even Tendo. And every year you ask him to be your valentines and he agrees bc your friends.

From the start it was always a friendly thing but at some point, your feelings for him changed during high school.

You don’t tell him, you never dared because you know his dedication towards volleyball would always go before his feelings.

One day you’re down the hall from his class and you notice that he’s talking to a girl- or more the girl is talking to him, so you hide in the corner. She was offering him a box of chocolates but he politely denies by saying “There’s only one girl who’s allowed to be my valentines, but please don’t take this personally, she mean’s everything to me.”

D-did you just here that right? Your leaning against the wall and sliding your back all the way to the floor, blushing like a mad woman.

So when Ushijima walks down the hall and sees a small figure to his side, he’s really worried as to why you are on the floor looking hot. “Y/n? Are you alright? Do you have a fever?” 

THIS MAN DOES NOT PUT HIS HAND ON YOUR FOREHEAD BUT HE PUTS HIS OWN AGAINST YOURS 

You’re trying so heard not to breathe onto his face but then he looks into your eyes when hes doing this and you shove his gift onto his chest. “PLEASE GET OUT OF MY FACE AND J-JUST TAKE THEM, IM FINE...” His warm fingers graze your for a second when he takes the chocolates and you just can’t do it anymore “I N-NEED TO GO NOW, BYE TOSHI- WAKATOSHI.”

Doesn’t question you, like ever.

During graduation you tell everyone that you are leaving over seas and Toshi honestly looks like a kicked puppy- his best friends, they’re all leaving. 

You’re crying into his arms when he’s dropping you off at the airport.

Timeskip Ushijima Wakatoshi

7 years. It’s been 7 years since wakatoshi has see your pretty face. 

You send a valentines post card and somehow it always gets there a day before, the day after or sometimes- even on valentines day.

You forced him to give you his address when he moves every time bc you send him a basket of goods. Usually a fruit arrangements bc you know he has a sweet tooth for fruits covered in chocolate- even tho he doesn’t really understand them

But this year nothing has arrived yet, until you text him to open the door since something was dropped off.

He’s a little confused as to why you noticed him but he opened the door, and there you where- standing right in front of him with luggage and his yearly valentines gift. 

“You’re looking at me like you’ve seen a ghost?”

He doesn’t say anything but pull you into a hug.

“...I missed you too big guy.”

After several, long virtual calls- he finally got to see you in person.

He pulls you back and looks a little upset.

You: “What? What’d I do?”

Toshi: “I might have sent flowers to your home.”

You low key wanna start crying, “What kind of flowers?”

WHYD YOU ASK THAT, HE LOOKS ALL FLUSTERED NOW, PLZ TELL HIM THAT YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW

Toshi: “Um.... anarrangementoftwentyfourwhiterosesbecauseiwantedtotellyouhowifeltbutididntknowhowtodoitanyotherwayandididntwanttodoitthroughacomputerscreen.”

You: “I hope you know, I understood every single word you just said.”

You give him a soft smile and lean down to pick something up that was covered by your bags. A bouquet of 24 white roses.

You: “I think... I feel the same way.”

He has never wanted to kiss someone so bad.

Toshi:“May I kiss you?”

You: “Do you really have to ask?”

Sakusa Kiyoomi  (Enemies To Lovers || Secret Admirer Trope)

You probably get 20 confessions on valentines day every year, every time it’s the same handwriting and sometimes it’s new.

But one day, a specific letter get’s into your desk instead of your locker, a black envelope with a white pearly wax stamp with silver lettering on the back “From your secret admirer :]”

The smiley face is a little distorted and you smile at it, but it turns into a scowl when Sakusa naps it from your fingertips. Luckily it was lunch and not may people where in this class. “Secret admirer? Who’d like your dumbass.”

You pull the note out of his hands and sit back down, “Maybe a bigger dumbass, now leave alone asshole.”

He rolls his eyes and sits on his desk, that just happens to be at your back left.

He noticed the smile you had on your lips when you sat back down and looked at the letter. He could tell that your mood had changed when you leaned back and read the letter with awe. He obviously couldn’t tell you in was him.

If he did, you’d probably think it was a joke. But it was nothing like that, he never meant to create an awful relationship between you to but he had made a nasty joke about you and you happen to overhear and have disliked him every since.

He’s kept the bully act ever since and now doesn’t know how to go back.

You looked giddy all day after reading the love letter he left for you, he didn’t know how to feel.

He never stopped sending the letters.

Around the third year, they began to stop and so did Sakusas bullying- but only because you didn’t have any classes together. So when one day you’re walking towards your locker, really late because you had to clean up the classroom. You see him slide a letter in your locker. 

You don’t confront him right then and there but you decide to let him walk a way just a little before you quickly get to your locker and open the letter.

You scan over the letter and you see that famous distorted smiley face and all the feelings they had written down. You where furious.

“Hey Sakusa!” You somehow where able to catch up to him and pushed his back as he walked away. “Is this funny to you?! Is messing with people’s feelings fucking funny to you?”

When he turned around he didn’t expect to see you crying, so he just stood like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Answer me! Why’d you do this? Three years, three fucking years I thought this was someone who actually had feelings for me, someone I thought I could fall in love with myself but I guess this was just some joke right? Some prank? Who wrote these? You know what- It doesn’t even matter. Fuck you and your fucking letter.” You shoved the letter at his chest and push him in the process.

 He freezes a little but he’s running to catch up with you, “Y/n! Y/n stop walking away. L-Let me explain. Y/N!” He’s able to snatch your wrist and pull you towards him.

The tears are still running down your cheeks and his heart is shattering. “It wasn’t a joke. It- it was never a joke, never a dare. I promise, every word in those letters, are what I truly feel.”

You: “Bull- How do I even know that you wrote them in the first place, you can just be the messenger.”

Oomi: “If you put every letter together, it spells my name.”

You roll your eyes at him. 

Oomi: “Don’t believe me?

You: “Of course I don’t.”

“Fine, umm.....”

Both of you didn’t really notice how his hand was still wrapped around your wrist. “Every time I just happen to catch a glance at you when you aren’t looking, it seems like peace on earth... There is no other sight i’d rather see then to see you smile at me, at me only. I want you to look at me the way you look at them but I know in my heart that it will take years for you to look at me that way.”

You pull your wrist away from his hand and wipe your face clean from the tear that have dried down.

“The day you heard me make fun of you... I don’t have any excuses for it. I did it and I regret it and- and I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head and begin to laugh... “I don’t even want to believe you.”

“I know, I just please let me make it up to you.”

Timeskip Sakusa Kiyoomi

You: “Oomi, I thought you hated valentines day.”

Oomi: “I do, but you deserve flowers because I was an asshole for so long.”

You: “... that was like 8 years ago...”

Oomi “Your point?

He hands you over the flowers and gives you a soft kiss. “You deserve so much more, and every day I will give you more, understand?”

You begin to giggle mid kiss, “Yes sir.”

Oomi: “Do you still have those letters?”

You: “Of course, I read them every time your gone.”

A/N: THIS TOOK ALL DAY- I WORK TOMORROW BUT I MIGHT WRITE SOMETHING UP BC IVE BEEN OBSESSED W NANAMI LATELY 

[tiefling-queer]

For D&D character ask, for any and/or all of your characters;

1, 5, 8, 15, 23, 29, 64, 65, 69(Nice)

i’m gonna answer these for whichever characters have the most interesting answers, skipping some for repeats:

1. why did they choose their class(es)? their subclass(es)?

kip (wizard, school of necromancy): crisis of faith midway through grave cleric training, spurred on by him sucking at the whole cleric thing (9 wisdom babyyy) while also being a nerd (18 int babyyyy)

baylock (shadow sorcerer/rogue): the sorcerer part is a side effect from being born dead during a cataclysmic event that tore portions of the material plane asunder. the rogue part is because he got in with a bad crowd as a kid. he’s been gaining levels in sorcerer as he traverses the freaky magic wasteland, utilizes his magic more, and gets a little closer to death each time someone hits his squishy arcane caster frame too hard

izak (gunslinger, graveslinger): sometimes you’re a jaded teen-equivalent runaway bumming around the river kingdoms and some dude comes up to you and is like ‘im a neutral evil mercenary, but if you take this gun and learn to shoot, i can also be your dad’. and then later you’re a 20-something equivalent who just realized that you don’t actually want to be an evil mercenary so you run away again and this time some dude comes up to you and is like ‘i’m a priest of sarenrae and an exorcist, and if you believe you can be redeemed, i can also be your dad.’ and then you learn how to shoot ghosts so you can be useful while this guy teaches you about being a better person.

5. do they follow a higher power? what are their thoughts on divinity?

izak: (deep lore dump) izak’s family was, at one point, pious people, and it was some ancestor’s warped perception of what piousness is and what was worth sacrificing in the name of good that led to the entire mess that is izak’s face. izak’s a devout worshiper of sarenrae now and hopes to maybe be the assistance someone needs to put themselves on a better path the way brak was for him, but there’s still a part of him that believes that, because he’s a tiefling, he’s never going to really be saved, and that his soul will eventually belong to the asura it was promised to.

8. what are three songs that suit them?

sydel: buckets of blood by rufus rex (tw for self harm, link goes to spotify because i can’t find this track on its own on youtube), thank god that i’m not you by himalayas, and bruises by fox stevenson (full playlist here)

15. do they trust their party? why or why not?

kip: he trusts them with his life, he just doesn’t trust them to understand where he’s coming from. he’s hiding some really heretical opinions that he knows at least maya (the celestial warlock) won’t agree with. he doesn’t like to talk about his family trauma, his past, or anything that he thinks the party can use to cleverly deduce that the notes he’s been scribbling are about raising the dead and theoretical conduits, prices, and replacements for the soul (he’s a little paranoid and might be giving them more credit than they deserve)

baylock: baylock might trust morgran, but he doesn’t trust surina at all, not since she and the (presumed deceased) swashbuckler tried to use him as a scapegoat when they were being interrogated by evil government warlocks. and even then, he only trusts morgran to not leave him for dead. baylock’s a fiercely loyal person by nature, so he’s been trying to keep his party at arms length so he won’t be betrayed again. the closest he came to starting to trust them was right before he found out that they told the evil government warlock that they’d turn him in in exchange for their freedom when they were captured a while back (whether or not they actually intended to do so is irrelevant for baylock - he spent 5 years in prison after being his old thieve’s guild’s fall guy, he’s not about to let it happen again)

23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

kip: kip’s given name is joffric ravenhall. he’s been going by the alias of ‘greenbough’ on the offchance that people have heard of his family or knew his father at some point, since he really doesn’t want to explain why he’s not a priest of the raven queen by now. ‘kip’, however, is what his family and friends call him, so it was a bit of a big deal to him when he told the party to call him kip, since he hadn’t been around anyone he considered family or friend in a few years. kip’s reeling a little bit over suddenly being called an ‘adverturer type’ - to him, he’s still just a transient weirdo who picks up odd jobs.

baylock: baylock craft’s name isn’t actually baylock craft (not yet anyway lol), he stole his late cellmate’s identity to take advantage of the jailbreak that came a few days too late. his name, ekleipsis caldor, isn’t exactly something he identifies with so much as what he was once called. his father never wanted him but got stuck with him when his mother bounced, so ‘caldor’ is more a formality than anything. ‘ekleipsis’ is the greek root of ‘eclipse’, for the eclipse he was born during - but moreso, ‘ekleipsis’ doesn’t mean ‘to be covered’ - it means ‘a disappearance or abandonment’. an event where the sun abandons the sky. baylock is a walking abandonment issue. he hasn’t taken a virtue name because he thinks it’s performative (which is where him officially taking the name ‘baylock craft’ as his name and not the identity of someone he’s pretending to be comes in - it’s the equivalent of naming himself for the virtue of rebellion without naming himself something stupid and embarrassing like ‘rebel’.)

izak: izak just got done being haunted by a ghost wizard who’s obsessed with names, probably because he’s had 4. izak was born dalethiel oakleaf back when he was an elf, but when he ran away after waking up as a tiefling he went by dally. then he was a mercenary for a while and his edgy mercenary name was viper. and then, when asked for his name by the cleric of sarenrae who rescued him in the wilderness, he said he didn’t have one worth giving, so the cleric told him he’d just call him izak then. that’s who izak is now, as far as he’s concerned, or at least who he wants to be. as he told the ghost wizard who tried to torment him with his birth name, that’s not his name anymore. dalethiel oakleaf was a young elf who died on his 50th birthday. izak’s got a perfectly good name, given to him by a kind man, and he doesn’t want to think about the time in his life he went by dally or viper.

karif: karif always introduces himself formally with his full name, in the family-given-familiar name pattern - ‘ixenvari karifgethisk fraurirthos, er, but you can just call me karif.’ this is because karif’s nickname, fraurirthos, the one his childhood friends and family call him, translates from draconic literally to ‘breathes secrets’. his nickname is snitch. he’s a little embarrassed about it. but ‘karifgethisk’ is a bit of a mouthful for those who don’t speak draconic, so shortening it to ‘karif’ suits fine.

29. who would they save? who would they be saved by? 

this has been a tough one, i’m not sure how to answer it for anyone.

64. do they value mercy or justice more?

kip: this honestly depends on his mood and your definitions of both ‘mercy’ and ‘justice’. he’s very easily led away by his emotions - both pity and compassion that could sway him to lean more towards mercy, and rage that tends to harden his heart and clear his head. he’s more than down to torture someone if he deems them evil, and he’ll destroy creatures like aberrations, fiends, and undead without a second thought, but he views life as a very precious thing - even when torturing an evil demon-summoning spellcaster, he still was trying to find ways out that resulted in that spellcaster getting out alive. this has come back to bite the party in the ass, since it was kip’s insistance that the party not kill all the guards on their little anarchy stunt that got them blackmailed to infiltrate the evil army of darkness, which is something he most certainly DOES NOT want to do.

65. what is holding them back?

kip: kip’s hang-ups about the soul and how he was raised are holding him back from becoming a stronger necromancer, while his grief and refusal to accept mortality hold him back from possibly still being some flavor of raven queen follower.

baylock: baylock’s hesitance and confusion over what he wants are holding him back from either fully embracing the rebellion or ditching it to get vengence

izak: izak’s self-loathing and fear of himself hold him back from interacting with people and forming meaningful relationships outside of the handful of people who’ve found out he’s a tiefling.

69 (nice): how would they describe their party members?

kip:

maya is... complicated. kip admires her pragmatism and her faith - it reminds him of his older sister, and he’s been missing that rock in his life. however, he butts heads with her a lot, because he finds her cold duty-bound outlook to be pointlessly cruel.

meera is wicked smart and talented, if a little misguided at times. he’s very big brother protective of her, always trying to offer her his dagger because ‘it’s a nice dagger’ (it’s +1)

amity is a good kid, and smarter than some may give him credit for. he’s fun to be around, and usually a level-headed presence, which makes it even more surprising just how ok he is with killing.

baylock:

morgran is an asshole, but is also probably the only person in the group who believes in this whole rebellion thing, so that counts for something. he’s decent people, can probably be trusted to see a mission through and not do anything completely stupid, but since he’s decent people he’s probably going to insist on staying on this path of lunacy with delusions of ‘taking down the Summit’. also, morgran shouldn’t be allowed to talk to anyone they meet, because he’s an asshole, and doesn’t bother pretending to be personable like baylock does.

surina is insane. she’s deranged, like everyone who tries to live outside the sanctums is. also just racist at times. when their cover gets blown or when they get mixed up with people they should be talking down, she’s gonna be the reason they all get killed.

porthos is was an idiot and a liability and just proved him right by running off and doing something rash and probably getting himself killed and also maybe compromising the whole rebellion which baylock doesn’t care about, so why does he feel like he should have done more to stop Porthos’ demise?

[shibalen]

1/2! Hi! could I have a male romantic hq matchup if thats ok? w a dark box + a jewellery box pls! I'm 5'5, she/her w long dark brown hair w the front half of my right side dyed white, green eyes + tan skin! I'm super bubbly, loud, naturally v flirty + my love language is physical touch! I LOVE working out + I'm a HUGE foodie. I'm stubborn + impulsive, luv rain/storms, coffee + PDA. I'm emotional, confident, bold, giggly, energetic + observant! I ramble but I'm a gd listener + v playful!

2/2 im v playful + luv teasing! I'm spontaneous, optimistic, passionate + ambitious but I tend to overwork myself. I'm empathetic + love comforting others, it takes a lot to make me super angry too! I'm pretty straight forward - I try my best to be upfront about my feelings! I LOVE autumn/winter, cooking, BOBA + outdoors (but also love cosy nights at home) I really value honesty + loyalty. my ideal type is someone tall, protective + doesn't mind physical touch! (I also luv late night adventures)

Sorry I ran out of characters but I just wanted to say thank you so much in advance! I literally had notifications on so I didn't miss your matchups being open lmao <3 a nickname incase u need it is Ains btw!

♡︎ matchup for @hvnlydmn

hello, dear! aww, i'm so happy you think my matchups are something worth not missing. thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoy this!

haikyuu: i match you with . . .

osamu miya !!

• under that calm exterior Osamu is competitive and has a small wild streak in him. you would do good in bringing out that side of him more often with your extroverted nature !!

• he finds your boldness and passion endearing and will help you keep your feet grounded in cases your impulsive tendancies might cause trouble for you.

• while your external demeanours differ, you hold the same core values which is incredibly important. like you, Osamu prefers being honest and will understand your point of view even though he might have a different opinion.

• that being said, you're both extremely patient and heated arguments take place only once in a blue moon. even then you manage to work out your differences quite fast.

• maybe it's because of your profile pic but i get the feeling you were a fan of Atsumu first, being part of the cheering squad in high school.

• you had no problem approaching either of the twins despite their popularity. they liked your confidence and energy so quickly accepted you.

• at first you wanted Osamu to help you get closer to Atsumu, but oops, along the way you two ended up falling for the other instead ! your personalities complimented each other, plus you had lots of common interests !

• i love how your first impression dynamic is the fun ray of sunshine x the quiet chill one even though y'all can be equally chaotic and observant ♡︎

• Osamu puts action over words and likes showing you his affection through small, casual touches as you go about your day. locking your fingers, putting his arm around your waist or shoulders, caresses of your cheek/head/hands.

• also, giving you massages after a tough day !! it's sweet and intimate while you can talk about anything and everything, or say nothing at all ♡( ◡‿◡ )

• insists being the one to brew you coffee. he knows his coffee is the best and it's what you deserve.

• playful teasing 23/7 (including snack breaks) just saying. having a brother like Atsumu has had its effects.

• Atsumu and you sometimes gang up and lovingly bully him. don't worry though, even against the two of you Samu can stand his ground (or be petty and give you a cold shoulder to tease you even more).

• though if someone else starts crossing the line while they're teasing you, Osamu will lowkey throw hands. he won't make a scene but anyone with the guts to brother you should be prepared to face pain the consequences.

• your dates often consist of visiting new restaurants/food booths, home-cooked dinner dates or picnics + hiking. sometimes he'll join working out with you.

❦︎ darkbox, timeskip

• it started with the little things: missed calls, skipped dinners, forgotten good-mornings. with Osamu busy with the restaurant and you having your hands full with your own job, your schedules only seemed to drift further apart.

• but then the words you exchanged irl became less frequent and finally the physical touch between you faded nearly into nonexistence because you hardly even saw each other.

• it was like a ticking time bomb. Osamu and you were aware of it but neither of you knew how to stop it.

• though you talked through messages and calls it just wasn't the same. stressed and worried, you did your best to remain calm, however this only made things worse.

• to you, it felt as though Osamu didn't care about your relationship anymore since he always looked and sounded the same, ever so nonchalant. yet in truth he was trying his hardest to look composed so you wouldn't worry.

• in the end, you both saw it best to take a 'break' until your careers became stable again. the saddest part: you did it for the other though neither of you wanted to.

• to forget your depression you became more involved in your work than before, up to the point of overworking yourself.

• meanwhile, Osamu, too, drowned himself in exhaustion. no matter how stoic he appeared it was clear he was all but focused. he kept wondering if you were okay, eating properly, getting enough sleep, or even if you wanted to start seeing someone else.

• worries if you'd rather have broken up with him for good because he wasn't good enough.

• thank goodness Atsumu, being the better and smarter twin™, called his brother out on his bs. too bad Osamu was a stubborn bastard and took forever to realise he loved you too much to be taking some 'pause' from you.

• his blood ran cold and his heart dropped to his stomach, however, when you weren't answering any calls or texts for days. you always answered him after a day at most.

• gosh, he was so anxious something had happened to you that he cancelled everything to rush to your place.

• it turned out you were taking a a week off from the world after too much work and getting sick. all well and good but the boy almost stumbled to his knees from the relief.

• instead, being himself, he just went: "stupid. ya really have a talent for getting yourself into situations like these."

• but thankfully you knew what he meant and how to comfort him. obviously you both fessed up that despite the problems you didn't want to be apart from each other again.

• from that incident onwards you agreed to always openly talk about your feelings. even if it meant being a little selfish, you knew the other would always be there for you ♡︎

𑁍 jewellery box

— favourite memory with you:

after a loss at an important game, you were the one to cheer him up. it was mid-autumn so the nature was filled with colours. you invited him out to rake leaves and jump into the heaps. Osamu thought it was ridiculous at first but couldn't help but smile at your sweet attempts to help him. you weren't together yet back then but it was definitely the moment he realised he felt something stronger for you than friendship ♡︎

— favourite activity to do together:

cooking and taste-testing! it's just so domestic. he gets to cook and spend quality time with you—what could be better? also, image standing in front of a stove, just cooking, when he comes up to you from behind, quietly wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzles your neck.

— favourite place to kiss you:

your forehead and neck. he jokes you're too short for him to reach your lips when he actually just loves the intimacy of it, same with your neck.

— favourite nicknames to call you by:

short-stack, plum, Ains. just your own nickname or something silly/teasing. he doesn't think having a nickname is that important.

— favourite thing about you:

how empathetic and understanding you are. many have gotten the wrong impression of him of being aloof before, so he loves you for caring to look further than meets the eye. not only with him but everyone else as well.

runner up: Kotarō Bokuto

this is my first time writing the extra additions so feedback is warmly welcome. remember to take care ♡︎

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 48

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: i know my last chapter didnt get many notes but the chapter is ready so why not post it you know? sex is vanilla again. thought it was cute. sue me lol. theyll have kinker sex dont worry hahaha! i would LOVE to know what you think of the characters and their reactions and stuff. so please, message me!

here are the requests for this chapter! for the instagram one, i changed it a bit because i dont think her character would want to be in the spotlight like that i hope its ok! also i had already talked about their first time and such so I added the others :)

Chapter 48 : His chapter

NIALL

"Oh my god! Look at you flirting with that woman like she's not 30 years older than you!"

I started laughing and let my head fall back slightly. My arm was on the couch's back right behind her head and I brought it closer, pulling her to me by her neck.

"Is that the tone you use when you're jealous?"

I noticed her nose raise up in a grimace but she kept staring at the tv, making me laugh even more. For some reason, Olivia wanted us to watch old One Direction interviews, pretending it would help me for the ones I had planned in the next few weeks. It didn't really help, all it did was make us laugh and I had to admit it was quite entertaining and I was pretty sure I had never watched most of them.

"It was tough watching interviews back then." she admitted, raising a shoulder. "Especially the older ones. You were such a horny kid."

I frowned slightly at her comment. I could hear a lot of pain but also a bit of blame and it bothered me. I was young, I was newly famous and not shy at all. Of course, I was a bit stupid and I tried to be funny but out of all the people in the world, I thought she'd be the last one to comment on it.

"I just enjoyed flirting." I let out, shrugging too. "I don't do that anymore."

It took her a few seconds but she turned my way, staring at my profile.

"How many times did it work?"

I frowned, still looking the old 60 minutes interview we did a few years ago playing on screen. Did I really want to have this discussion?

"What are you asking?"

I held my breath and turned to her, noticing how painful it was for her to ask me something like that. I felt my annoyance falter a bit but not leave completely.

"How many girls did you have sex with?"

We had never talked about that before. I thought about asking, especially when we started dating, but I was scared it would start shit between us. When I was younger, I didn't mention my stories mostly because I didn't want to hear hers. Now that I think about it, it was probably out of jealousy, too.

"Liv, please-"

"More than 10?"

I stared at her a few seconds and nodded a bit. I watched her lick her lips and breathe in and nervously, I felt my fingers play with the fabric of the couch. I hated this, it could only turn wrong.

"More than 20?"

I could feel myself getting angry and I closed my eyes, trying to calm down. I didn't know why I was so touchy, it was not in my nature, but perhaps the way she asked me didn't help. It was not just a casual conversation, there was clearly a reason why she asked and I suddenly regretted that we never talked about these things before.

"20 sounds about right." I just said, impatient to talk about something else.

"That's more than twice my number."

We remained silent for a few seconds and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Am I supposed to answer something to that?" I just wondered a bit rudly. "I don't know what you expected Olivia, but clearly you're delusional. I've had a lot of opportunities it's true, and no of course I didn't jump on all of them, but you don't ask an 18 year old boy to be reasonable after being thrown into fame. I don't think you can really understand what it's like."

I shook my head and sighed louder than needed before getting up a bit roughly. I felt her fingers wrap about my wrist and stopped immediately.

"I'm sorry."

I stayed motionless, standing up with my eyes closed as her fingers pressed around my wrist more.

"I'm just scared. And insecure." she added low as i felt her fingers slip and free my hand. "I don't understand why you're dating me, Niall. You could date so many girls or just fool around with anyone you want. But you're here with me and it just makes no fucking sense to me. So when I see how things used to be for you, it scares me for the future and at the same time, it reminds me how much I cried during those years."

I sighed and slowly sat back down next to her, still not being able to look at her.

"Why did you propose we watch that then?"

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed her looking down and swallowing. I couldn't pretend I knew how she felt, not now and not back then, but I was dating her now, I had been dating her for over 9 months. The fact that she was still doubting me... doubting us, was tough to accept.

"I thought i'd be okay, I thought since you were next to me, holding my hand, that it wouldn't bother me." she explained in a low and ashamed tone. "I was wrong."

I sighed again and rubbed my eyes before getting up again. Her head shot up quickly but I just held my hand out to her. It took her a few seconds but slowly, she slid her palm against mine and I pulled on her hand, helping her get up.

"Let's go outside, okay?"

She didn't say anything, she just let me bring her outside, in the backyard. I took my socks off after letting go of her hands and sat on the side of the pool, putting my feet in the water and waited for her. It took her a few minutes but I still didn't turn to her. The night was calm and warm enough, especially for late september, and I looked down at her feet moving slowly in the water.

"At the lodge, I saw you and Harry making out naked on the side of the pool. It made me very jealous, even if I didn't really realize it back then. Not really because you two were having sex, but mostly because he had your full attention, and I was so used to have it all for myself that losing it was like a slap in the face." I admitted, licking my lips. "I'm not saying I know how you feel, Liv, or how you used to feel. I just think that holding on to that is changing you and stressing you for no reason."

"Maybe."

She didn't comment on the part about Harry and I closed my eyes.

"The first date I ever went on was with a girl from school." I added low.

"Grace, I remember."

"The whole time, all I could think about was kissing her. I didn't care about anything else. I was young, I can't even remember if I liked her, but I wanted my real first kiss and it's all that mattered." I made a pause and sighed. "Then I had girlfriends when I was a bit older, and then I joined One Direction and met other girls. And whenever I hung out with them, I was never jealous, I thought 'hey if it doesn't work then it wasn't meant to be' and that's it. I didn't expect it to last because I didn't want it to last. I had nothing to lose. I thought about sex and having fun."

I turned to her and sighed louder when I noticed tears falling down her cheeks. I moved my body her way slightly and shook my head.

"Olivia, why are you crying? I'm trying to tell you that it's different with you. I care about you. And the first thing I thought of when it came to you was not sex, it was not kissing you. It was making you happy, it was how good I felt around you. Why would you cry for that?"

"Because you seem to forget that I was there, Niall. I saw you with these girls. I cried myself to sleep because I desperately wanted to be in their shoes. My first kiss was with a guy at school who was harassing me to go out with him and when he kissed me, all I thought about was you. The first time I had sex with Rian I wished it was you. Every single decision in my love life seems to have been related to you. I'm not blaming you, it's all on me, but its still not easy for me."

My eyes roamed on her face and I watched her wipe her tears and sniff a few times before clearing her throat.

"We both need to make efforts. You can't spend all your time asking questions about my past that's gonna hurt you, you know."

"I'll work on that." she whispered. "But you're gonna have to be patient with me."

"Okay."

We remained quiet again for a while, just looking at the lights of the pool shining on the water. I knew I should reach for her hand but I wasn't sure I wanted to.

"Remember the first time we got drunk together?" she asked with a chuckle, moving her feet a bit more vigorously and making the water move around her. "You were so cute, and so damn tactile. At some point I was so close to tell you that I loved you that I got scared and hid in the bathroom for half an hour."

I smiled at the memory and chuckled.

"You were so dramatic and I didn't even know!" I let out, making her laugh too. "I don't know how you kept it inside for so long."

"Fear of losing you." she shrugged. "I just looked at you, both of us totally pissed, and I thought 'everyone wants a piece of him but he's with you right now, don't ruin this Olivia'."

"You were cute, you had that really high ponytail. I remember because whenever you'd turn around, your hair would brush against my arm and I was so drunk it made me shiver every time."

My eyes found hers and she was not smiling anymore. Her lips were parted and her eyes were glued to me. I raised my eyebrows and moved my face closer to hers.

"Yes, I remember things. Not the same things you remember, and maybe not for the same reasons, but I do remember things."

Slowly, she pressed her lips together and they curled as she kept looking at me.

"I love you, Niall."

I moved my upper body over hers, forcing her to move down on the hard cement but she didn't complain. I placed both my hands on each side of her chest to hold myself over her and bent down to kiss her.

"I love you too." i answered, moving up to a bit to look at her.

Her eyes traveled on my face until my lips and she licked hers.

"You said you'd make love to me whenever I'd want." she whispered so low i barely heard. "I really want it now."

"It's not really comfortable." I pointed out, the right corner of my lips moving up.

"Then you're gonna have to be extra gentle with me."

I nodded and sat up, immediately reaching for the hem of her sweatpants and she moved her butt up to help me. She brought her feet off the water and placed them on the ground, her knees up, and my eyes roamed between her legs as I let out a low groan. I took my shirt off and didn't even react when it fell in the pool. It made Olivia chuckle and I just moved gently over her, placing myself between her legs.

One of her hands ran on my chest as I pressed myself against her. I felt her grind up slowly against me and bent down to kiss her. I could feel myself get harder with every move of her hips, even if she was barely moving and I let my lips brush on her jaw and down her neck.

"You should keep your shirt on, I don't want your back all scratched."

I brought my mouth back on hers and I noticed her lips curling in a fond but amused smile.

"You don't want to see me completely naked?"

"Don't be silly." I chuckled again, glancing down and noticing her hard nipples through the fabric of her shirt. "I really fucking do. But you don't need to be naked to turn me on."

She smiled more and I moved down on my elbows, moving her head up gently and placing my hands under it to make sure her head wouldn't rub against the cement.

"Are you sure you want to try it here?"

She didn't say anything, she just kept looking at me as her hands moved between us. One of her palms pressed on my cock and I groaned low. She started nibbling on her bottom lip, slowly pulling my pants down and I pushed myself into her. I was surprised at how wet she already was and how easy it was for us to do this, like our bodies just seemed to fit perfectly together.

"I love you."

I bent down again, kissing her as I started thrusting in and out of her so slowly that I could feel everything incredibly well. So well that it brought sensations in me that I hadn't felt before. I felt impatient and my whole body throbbed even more than usual. It was definitely different than what I was used to but I loved it. I could really see all of her facial expressions and ended up letting out a very low curse word when her lips parted and her eyes fluttered close. I watched her as she moved her chin up and I could feel the back of her head rubbing slowly against the palm of my hands, making a mess of her hair. She looked amazing, all fucked beneath me, and it made me realize how much I loved her.

"I love you too." I whispered back. "So much."

"Just me?"

My movements faltered and her eyes opened slowly. I stared at my best friend, laying under me, and I thought of all the things we went through together and all the things we'll go through together too. I thought about our friendship that turned into love, I thought about us when we were young, I thought about everything I missed with her and everything I lived with her, and I could swear I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Yes, only you."

Her hands traveled on my back until my ass and she let out a short whimper as her thighs pressed on my side to keep me close. I could feel my elbows and the back of my hands hurt from rubbing slightly on the cement but it was really the sharp pain in one of my knees that made it worse. I tried to push it out of my thoughts to focus on her and when she arched her back and started shaking, I knew she was cumming.

"Oh god Niall... I.. I'm..."

I tried to keep my movements slow and steady but it was pure torture until I felt an orgasm reach me. I felt it coming and held my breath as my eyes closed and I groaned again as it spread inside me slower than normally. I could feel it until the tip of my fingers and in my toes and when I came down from my high, I blinked a few times.

"I'm literally seeing spots." I let out with a short laugh.

"Me too." she chuckled just as my sight was getting clear again.

I looked at her laying under me and sighed. Now that it was over, I was more aware of the pain and I grimaced. I let myself roll on my back next to her and she moved her upper body over me with a frown.

"You okay? You're not bleeding are you?"

I brought my hands up to look at them and shook my head.

"I'm sorry." she added, raising her nose up. "We should have tried on the grass. Do you need ice or something?"

"And pizza." I pointed out with an exaggerated pain expression, making her laugh.

"Alright i'll bring all that in the living room."

She was about to get up but I put my hand on her thigh to stop her, my fingers brushing gently on her skin.

"Wait." She stopped and turned to me. "These girls, they mean nothing. You need to trust me."

She sent me a sad smile and shrugged a shoulder very slowly. I was tired to fight and I was scared it would ruin things between us.

"I'll try."

                                                         ---

I was driving the first time I heard 'This Town' on the radio and she was sitting next to me. I didn't know why but I felt incredibly lucky that I was not alone, and even luckier that she was the one with me. Her face illuminated and she let out a short scream, making me smile even more. I parked on the side of the road and she threw herself in my arms awkwardly since we both still had our seat belts on and we looked at each other the whole time it played until the very end.

"This is so fucking good Niall i'm so proud of you!"

I cupped her face and brought her closer a bit roughly, crashing my mouth against her and making her laugh. She grabbed the front of my shirt and deepened the kiss slightly, making me smile through it.

"Fucking hell."

She laughed as we pulled away slightly and smiled more.

"It's a big deal. Your first solo song." she whispered. "And you worked hard for that."

We remained in the car for a while, just flabbergasted by what had happened and a bit ecstatic. I looked at her reacting almost as intensely as me and it made me realize so many things that I just leaned against my seat and sighed. Despite all the fights we had, despite my almost total absence in the past few weeks, despite the fact that we had it hard recently, she was there, she supported me, and she was happy for me.

"A few drinks tonight to celebrate, how's that?" she proposed as I started the car again. "We could invite a few friends?"

"Yea, yea good call!" I let out, glancing at her. "Hey take my phone and go on instagram!"

She frowned a bit but she was still smiling and she did what I was told before looking at me again.

"You want to add something to your story?"she asked as I nodded. "Okay, go ahead!"

"Hello lovers, so we just heard 'This Town' for the first time on the radio a few minutes ago and we went completely crazy!" I just said with a laugh, trying to focus on the road as I passed one of my hands in my hair and shook my head. "Let me just get back home and I'll do a live and answer a few questions!"

She stopped filming and played with my phone for a few seconds before looking at me again.

"That's a very good idea."

With a smile plastered on my face, I parked the car and unlocked the front door before quickly getting my laptop. She put her purse on the couch and I sat next to it right before she disappeared in the kitchen. It took me a few minutes to go live but when I finally was, my smile hadn't faltered not even for a second. I started answering questions, glancing from time to time at Olivia that remained away from the camera. I knew she didn't like to be in the spotlight and that a lot of times, I brought attention to her without meaning to, but the fact that she was still there, in the shadows, to support me, meant the world.

"I was with Liv, it's her you heard on the video." I explained, answering an other question.

I saw my girlfriend grimace when she realized everyone had heard her voice and her probably her laughter when we recorded the small video in the car and my eyes found her again, her expression making me chuckle.

"From the face she's making now, it was clearly not intentional." I pointed out, laughing again.

My eyes caught a comment that made me frown but I tried to ignore it until I saw an other one and I finally closed my eyes, breathing in.

"Okay, i'm normally not the type to give attention to bad mouthing but we're trying to have a nice time and reading shit about my girlfriend is no fun."

I could feel Olivia tense near me as my eyes roamed on the comments.

'No Niall pls stay!!!'

'Ignore them we love her! OTP!'

'Fuck whoever talks shit about her'

'They don't deserve your attention!'

I didn't add anything else but kept on answering questions about an upcoming album, more songs, the process of writing and tour. After over half an hour, I said goodbye and turned my computer off. Olivia had left and I joined her in the kitchen, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. My lips reached her neck and I squeezed her tighter against me.

"Hey, darling." I whispered. I heard her sniff and my heart twitched. "It wasn't that mean. I promise."

I watched her fingers grip the side of the sink more and suddenly felt extremely bad. I shouldn't have commented, that way, she wouldn't know about the mean comments, but when I saw them, I didn't think, I just reacted. It was not like me but reading shit about her made me a bit impulsive and now I regretted it.

"That's what I mean when I say I don't understand why you're dating me." she murmured after swallowing hard. "No one understands why you're dating me."

"People who know nothing about you or our story don't get it, so what?" I just replied, nuzzling her nape. "Fuck them. I know why i'm dating you and i've got a shitton of good reasons."

"Don't tell me you don't doubt us, sometimes, Niall." she shook her head. "Don't tell me it never crosses you mind that you should be dating someone who's in your league. A tall, skinny, gorgeous actress, model, singer... I don't know."

She moved away from me and turned around, her back still facing me. I let my arms fall on each side of my body and sighed a bit loud before rubbing my eyes. I was trying to comfort her but it seemed like nothing i'd do would change anything.

"I'm telling you it's you, okay? I love you!" I argued, getting annoyed again. "I don't get how it's so hard to understand!"

She finally turned to me slowly and I felt a pain at heart when I saw the tears on her red cheeks. I didn't know why it was affecting her that much and I felt like i'd never understand.

"Love is not everything. Contrary to popular belief, love is not all you need." she pointed out, her arms crossed on her chest. She shook her head again and licked her lips as I stayed still, holding my breath. "I don't get why you don't understand how I feel, and I can't seem to explain it. It's useless, Niall. I'm useless."

Without waiting for an answer, she turned around and walked in the hall. I closed my eyes, trying to calm the beating of my heart. I should have ran to her and took her in my arms. I should have tried again to tell her how much she meant to me. I should have begged her to believe me and trust me. Instead, I sat on a chair and sighed loud. I felt defeated and exhausted at the same time. I just wanted us to be happy like we used to be but I didn't know how.

After a good twenty minutes of thinking, I got up and walked to our room, opening the door slowly. She was laying in bed, on her side with her knees up. I took a few steps closer only to realize she was asleep. I put my hands deep in my pockets and stared at her for a few seconds. Her lips were slightly parted and I could hear her breathe a bit louder than usual. I sighed again and found a blanket before putting it over her and bending down.

"You're so much more than you seem to believe." I murmured close to her ear. "I wish I knew how to show you. Maybe i'm the useless one."

[fistsoflightning]

23: i wanna know what you’re doing tonight

prompt: shuffle || masterpost || other fills || ao3 mirror

word count: 2796

Does writing music based on things your friend said count as flirting?

It’s AU brainworm time everybody >:3 This “main street” AU is basically balefire/mom squad’s ‘what if we made a bunch of small town romance ideas and mashed them together’ which turns out to be a lot more hilarious than it should be. Featuring (chat) cameos from @windupcatgirl @to-the-voiceless @windupnamazu @verbroil and @winduphaurchefant because why not. Title from this song!

For all intents and purposes, Zaya enjoys autumn; summer heat cooling off into a pleasant chill, the sunlight that lingers enough to keep warm in the early weeks. The trees may die, but in doing so they grow colorful, and though the flowers in A’dewah’s little shop don’t do the same he changes which ones are on display to match better with the tree outside. It does mean Krile—and more recently, one G’raha Tia—have to return to Mor Dhona, their studies resuming, but it’s not like they can’t chat.

It does, however, mean the return of autumn showers—and they don’t even hate rain that much—and fortunately Zaya managed to forget their poncho just as the first big storm pulled in. Mor Dhona wasn’t that far of a drive away, really, just two or three hours on a road Zaya had taken enough times before, but in the middle of a rainstorm? Without a rainproof coat?

Well, at least Miss Eldfalk’s documents are staying dry in the carrier at Zaya’s back, even if the chill of the rain has already soaked through the wool of their jacket and started to dampen their shirt by the time they pull into the parking garage just a block or so away from the museum waiting on Sjanna’s delivery. Thankfully the inn is just an elevator away and not on the other side of the road; they should keep a spare poncho or umbrella in the motorcycle luggage next time.

Zaya pushes the thought aside as they slip off their helmet and the phone in their pocket begins to buzz about, safely tucked within the canvas pocket of their overalls and hopefully not just as soaked as their hands are. Wiping their palms and fingers on the inside of their legs, they unzip the soggy jacket and tug out the borrowed phone to see the numerous Linkcord notifications—of course.

Leaning onto the front of their motorcycle, Zaya hardly takes a second glance up to the storm just out the window behind them as a few taps and a swipe unlocks the screen, opening up to the Linkcord discussion of the day (night? Night.)

[ text channel #mom-panic; 9:47 PM ]

banned for baby crimes zayaaaaaa i miss you Hanami Hagane You are just saying that because you have no one to drag around the fair. Hanami Hagane Besides, they will be back tomorrow afternoon. banned for baby crimes no i’m not!! that’s too long!! i brought ihget but he’s being stupid and wont ride the ferris wheel with me :’) banned for baby crimes i cant find lunya and reese either so now im stuck with himbo here local breadhead we’re just by the cotton candy stand! lunya’s waving at you ;) banned for baby crimes OH THERE YOU ARE HOW DID I MISS YOU        hold on i gotta grab the chad first local breadhead 😊 banned for baby crimes but i really miss zaya even if they’re just over in mor dhona.. so does ochir he- i- banned for baby crimes has anyone seen ochir ihget lost him in the crowd- this says zaya 😱 reese is in pieces :O( YOU WHAT?? local breadhead oh dear lmao reese is in pieces :O( i hope no one tries to take him :( reese is in pieces :O( lunya says if your stupid catboy loses zaya’s bird shes not going to make you two the mini versions of zaya’s courier hat banned for baby crimes IT SNTO MY FAULT ZAYA JR HERE WAS BEIGNB ROODY ADN LOOKED AWAY         NOOOOOOO,,, Hanami Hagane Why bring the bird with you, anyways. Zaya lent you Ochir’s cage. banned for baby crimes he made sad noises when ihget n i were abt to leave,,,,

The chat quickly devolves from there into Sati panicking about Zaya’s violet-backed starling going rogue and everyone else jumping in and hells, they are not in the mood to manage that. Drops of water fall from their chin onto the screen; they hastily wipe it away before shoving the phone back into their pocket and hop off their motorcycle. A few quick movements with the key round their wrist opens up the luggage attachment with the satchel of papers inside—blessedly dry, thank the gods they splurged on a decent one instead—which they swing over their shoulder as they start walking to the elevator.

A dripping trail has probably followed them all the way from the parking garage to the lobby, they think in passing as they stop at the front desk, waiting for the receptionist to turn around. Their hand goes to fiddle with the small keychain on their keyring as they wait, still dripping their own personal puddle around them.

“Hello, hello! Welcome to the Seventh Heaven, how may I—” Tataru turns around, small smile widening into a sunny bright grin when she sees them, even if they’re dripping all over the lobby. “Zaya! Good to see you back again; need a room for the night, then?”

A curt nod (that sends water droplets onto the surface of Tataru’s desk) is all she needs to hop off her stepping stool and onto the ground, waving Zaya along before she cheerily marches down the halls with a keyring jingling in her hand. Not even the gloomy rainstorm thundering outside can put a damper on her mood, it seems.

“Payment for the night’s stay may be given in the form of Gannet Bay gossip, alright?” Tataru unlocks the door to a nicely decorated room with a quick turn of her hand, playfully winking over her shoulder as she does. Her violet eyes glimmer almost the same as Lunya’s, really; filled with teasing joy and secrets. “I’ve heard from the grapevine about a certain catboy quite enjoying the atmosphere out there, now!”

She steps aside as the door swings fully open, giving a little curtsy, and Zaya gives her an energetic thumbs-up as they walk past her into the room, pleasantly warm and bright from the small fireplace in the corner of the room, banked low so its amber glow only flickers across the floor.

First things first: getting out of all the soggy clothing they’re wearing.

They hang their satchel (papers still neatly bound inside, good) on the wall hook by the door and haphazardly strip off their shoes and socks, followed by the once-warm and fluffy jacket as they look about for spare hangers.

Ah; Tataru always has their back. Hanging on the end of the bed are a set of four or so hangers, which Zaya snaps up with ease, carefully slipping the wooden hangers through sleeves and loops as they finally get to their undershirt—blissfully dry, if not a bit cold. Their overalls aren’t all that damp on the top but are more than soaked the further down the legs one looks… hopefully that dries quick enough.

Just as they finish kicking their ankle-high boots to the mat by the door, a quiet yet unfamiliar chime fills the room, and Zaya nearly thinks to check outside the door for the noise when the light vibrations trickle up their arm. The soft ringtone—someone humming along to a muffled orchestra, maybe; not the smartest of choices for a calling ringtone—grows louder as Zaya stares down at their collection of soggy clothing.

...Alright, second: answer the damn phone?

Zaya nearly fumbles all the hangers to grab their phone from the pockets of their overalls and accept the call, only briefly reading the name from the screen before his face pops up in its place. White hair and a charming grin, perhaps—that is, to anyone who hadn’t heard the words that fall from his mouth like gentle rain.

(Okay, well, maybe that just helped. Zaya wasn’t going to say that out loud to anybody regardless; it didn’t matter what they thought of Thancred’s charms. Probably.)

“...I’d say ‘good evening’ but I wager you are having anything but just by the water dripping off your hair,” Thancred says in lieu of greeting, his voice warm and surrounded by the distant sounds of the usual fall fair attractions. “So instead, I’ll say this; is that old phone serving you well enough?”

Zaya nods; given, this one’s a bit clunky, but the lightness of their actual tomephone may have indirectly been the reason that they’d dropped it while helping out around town and eventually cracked the screen. At least Thancred had offered to lend them his old one for the trip to Mor Dhona in case, just on the off chance someone truly needed their attention, like for lost birds and ways to punish a distracted idiot.

They set it on the table, the front camera facing towards the window as Zaya steps into frame, still fiddling with the hangers in their hands. Mor Dhona may be covered in a gloomy storm, but the golden lights from the buildings around Revenant’s Toll Square still glow brightly in the distance, a refuge from the biting torrent of cold rain.

“Survived the water,” they sign slowly, stepping closer to the fireplace in a subtle attempt to dry off a bit quicker, almost fumbling when their fingers stiffen, chilled to the bone. Thancred laughs, the bridge of his nose crinkling just a tad like how it does when he can’t stop cracking himself up. “Still has power, too.”

“Glad to see it has survived, then.” There’s a slight pause where Thancred stops talking (and laughing) to catch his breath, the small silence filled with Zaya leaving frame to go hang their soaked clothes over the fireplace to hopefully dry for tomorrow. When they come back to look at the camera, a kaleidoscope of colorful lights dance across Thancred’s face, some colorfully lit attraction before him leaving his platinum blonde hair awash with a rainbow of color. “The storm there should burn off by early dawn, though; hopefully you will not have to drag yourself home dripping wet from your business in Mor Dhona.”

Ah, good. They yawn as discreetly as someone who’s on a video call can—which is to say, not very, and a rosy flush must spread on their face when Thancred chuckles under his breath, low and steady. 

“Forgive me,” he says next, voice lowered as if he were disturbing someone’s rest. “I must be keeping you from collapsing; I can’t imagine a drive in the freezing rain and getting soaked is the least draining way to spend one’s night.”

In-between stretching out the tense muscles in their back and neck do they grunt some noise of agreement, the strain flaring momentarily before melting into a drowsy warmth that drips down the ridges of their spine. Really, spending time in Mor Dhona at all is a draining waste of time—when you make your home in somewhere as vibrantly quiet as Gannet Bay it’s hard to want the big city over the comforts of familiarity, of knowing each shop and its owners personally, of being able to help them all and see their smiles.

At least they can see one person from home, now.

“ ‘S fine,” they mumble softly, heart stuttering when Thancred’s smile widens at the sound of their voice. Part of them wishes they were there to playfully elbow him for that—it’s not that rare tha they’ll speak—and the other part of them they are desperately trying to ignore. “How’s th’ fair.”

“Wonderful.” He looks up for a moment as Zaya wraps themselves in the bed coverings, presumably to whatever booth or stall is shining down on his face with fluorescent lights. “Ryne’s had a wonderful time, I think. I haven’t seen your friends around, but would you like to hear about the odd variety of attractions around?”

Zaya hums sleepily, waiting for him to continue. They hardly even notices when their eyelids grow heavy and their fingers return to their usual warmth, entranced enough by the fond familiarity of Thancred’s voice as they drift off to sleep.

…

The next morning, Zaya wakes with the dawn that rises across Mor Dhona, the bright golden sunrise sneaking through the cracks of the large curtains to tickle their bedsheets. The cityscape outside the window is covered by low autumn morning fog, glimmering as the sunlight dances over it and the puddles the passing storm had left behind in its wake. Outside, it is nearly silent, only a few passing cars and hardly any pedestrians around when Zaya does their morning stretches by the window.

As is always with a trip into the city, they fall into an easy routine; wake with the sun, stretch out whatever they can without breaking something, get dressed and hastily grab everything before rushing out the door, wave Tataru a rushed but genuine goodbye. Trot down to the parking garage, check the bike, throw the satchel back into the luggage on the back as they slip on their stereo cuffs and flick through playlists on their phone before going to get breakfast at the Bismarck—

Zaya pauses their flick-tap scroll through the playlists on their phone when they catch one with their name. Odd; Thancred did always have the habit of making his friends their own personal playlists, but they’d like to think they didn’t give him that much of a read on their tastes just yet.

Shrugging to no one but themselves, they tap on the playlist and let it begin to play as they slide the phone back into their overall pocket, starting up their motorcycle’s engine just as the song begins to play.

They stop. 

[ DM history with @superbolide; 7:36 AM]

zayaya ❓ zayaya 🌅😊❗🎵🎧💿❓❓ superbolide good morning to you too :) you’re up rather early superbolide something the matter? superbolide ah          i haven’t got another song for you yet, if that’s the question   rest assured, i’ll find something yet! zayaya 🙅

It hardly takes them more than a few seconds to grab a small screenshot of the playlist in question, sending it and another screenshot back to Thancred as they quietly listen to the same song Rjoli and Reese had playing near constantly for last Valentione’s Day in the bakery—still manages to be catchy, somehow. Let it not be said that acoustic covers were not their favorite.

The notification ringtone chimes when Thancred responds, cheery and bright.

Zaya goes a bit bug-eyed at what he types next, the song fading off as the next one on shuffle comes up—piano, humming, Thancred’s voice—

Thankfully, for it being so early in the morning, there’s no one around in the parking garage to judge the frankly embarrassing noise they make at their phone, or the bright flush that spreads across their face.

It isn’t like that, they remember saying, sputtering like a fish out of water when Lunya had barely insinuated that Thancred’s small wave as he walked past was a bit more than friendly. There’s no way he’d be interested in the courier that helped him choose out a ribbon at the local boutique, of all people! He doesn’t even know where I work!

Zaya drops their forehead onto the dash of their motorcycle, careful not to hit their horns against anything as they do.

Looks like they were wrong, about it ‘not being like that’. Maybe.

(Oh gods, they really hope they’re wrong.)

…

[ text channel #mom-panic; 8:03 AM]

💬 this says zaya is typing...

this says zaya😑 this says zaya💭🌑💘 🤟 ❓ banned for baby crimes DOES HTAT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT DOES closest to hell zaya qestir i swear on your lover boy’s life clarify for the peanut gallery local breadhead :0 reese is in pieces :O( i think            hm reese is in pieces :O( zaya did thancred just confess or did somethign else happen this says zaya [ superbolide: oh haha i must have forgotten to upload those to my lifestream] this says zaya [ superbolide: there are some songs i did save, but all the clips there were lyrics i thought of after chatting w/ you 😉] this says zaya [ superbolide: i could make an EP dedicated to you w/ the inspo you gave me] this says zaya [ superbolide: that is, if you don’t mind] Hanami Hagane I told you he was obvious. closest to hell SATINA YOU OWE ME GUMMIES FROM SHOOTING STAR I CALLED IT closest to hell IT WAS OBVIOUS THE MUSIC HES MAKING WAS BC OF THEM local breadhead oh bless… that’s v sweet… banned for baby crimes HBHBHHB NOOO MY HARD EARNED GIL,,, banned for baby crimes BUT WE ALL WERE RIGHT ABOUT HIM THO reese is in pieces :O( awwwauaua!! banned for baby crimes so banned for baby crimes zaya banned for baby crimes when’s the wedding this says zaya 😡😡😡 closest to hell me🤝sati “when’s the wedding” this says zaya 👆💀🏡 Hanami Hagane You two better start running. banned for baby crimes WAIT ZAYA NO-

[bluesunsdusk]

Answer the following so people know how ships work on your blog!

Fair warning that I may come off as harsh in some answers, which isn’t my intention. People can rp however they like and I don’t have to vibe with it. Do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you don’t expect me to do it.

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?:

See, that question is hard, because I have well over twenty muses. That, and I don’t see things as OTPs, much like I don’t have best friends. They’re all valid. Though, I suppose Telendil and @ofheroesandstories‘ Jackson are an OTP, or at least as close as I’d get to calling something an OTP. It’s an ancient ship.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?:

It really depends on the characters. I have muses well over a thousand years old. Sometimes, I don't really think about age with them, as long as everyone is over 20 years old. Preferably, I'd have people less than 15 years apart in age, but people can make their own decisions once they hit 25 or something. Even so, there are muses of mine with whom I would be uncomfortable if people tried to get them in a ship with people below a certain age. Sigma, for example, won't want to date anyone below 31. Anyone in their twenties trying to get in his pants is uncomfortable, because he's not into it at all.

At any rate, I let fully adult characters decide for themselves what they are interested in and won’t police anyone on what the maximum age of the characters they can be into should be. Even so, over 20 is the age another muse should be at which most of my muses may be okay with dating them. I prefer not to ship with any muse below that age, seeing as most of my muses are over the 25. My youngest is 23, not counting synths. 

Anyway, again, it’s largely up to which character one is trying to ship with. Sanguine, for example, doesn’t really care how only a mortal is and he is ancient. Logan feels awkward with anyone too close in age to his sister, which is 18, so anyone who is 20 is already kind of weird. 23 is fine though. That’s a 9 year age gap. Aidan prefers people in their thirties, but would only be uncomfortable if a guy below 23 or a guy above 57 or something tried to get with him. The upward scale is larger than the downward scale. Sigma's age gap acceptance is about 30 years, in either direction, but he would prefer people closer to his age. Telendil prefers people of about 40 (or the elven equivalent thereof). Sometimes, he’s fine with people in their twenties (or the elven equivalent thereof), but he doesn’t expect it to last, in all honesty. 

I know some people are super strict about age gaps, and I think that’s really silly, because there is no golden standard and I have seen people go as far as to say any age gap over the ten years is bad. A 40 year old can choose to date a 52 year old. They are grown ass adults. 

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?:

I ship chemistry, so that's really all that is required, and that means we need interactions. If some talking ooc or in character interactions are too selective for people, I really don't know what to tell them. People who come up to me and try to push a ship too soon just need to accept that I will go at it platonically before anything else. Luckily, most do, and understand that it possibly won’t change. If you want to go on about how hot your muse think one of mine is, at least establish with me first if I’m open to the possibility. 

In short: If your character is hot for Sigma but I state there is no way he will reciprocate, do not come into my IMs to say how sexy he is to your muse. He is 62. Let him rest. It’s fucking weird. Let me rest, too. 

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NS/FW?:

In the old TES community, some would say once the clothes come off, but you don't need to take off clothes to be nsfw. It depends on the context. This isn’t a question I can answer as simply as some may believe. If people start talking about arousal, I guess, in cases where that may be relevant. If it’s not brought up, when people begin to undress or feel each other up? I dunno. I generally don’t write smut, so... 

Oh, also sexual questions. Sexual questions through asks are always listed as nsfw. I know this question is about in character interactions, but still.

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?:

Again, I have over 40 muses and I don't really ship much that doesn't involve my ocs outside rp. Well, save for Jyggalag and Magnus, since those are both canon muses. I usually have ships between my muses. They aren’t regarded as canon to the blog in rp interactions, safe for Maoren and Rahn, who are always mates and are only available for poly ships. They can be regarded as canon in certain situations, but that is dependent on the mun I am writing with. I suppose, I ship Telendil platonically with Boone in his Fallout NV verse, too.

ANY NOTPS?:

Does Molag Bal and anybody count? He just shouldn’t be shipped with anybody, really. I don’t make the rules. The entire TES community agrees. I don’t think I have many NOTPs. I can’t name any from the top of my head. Most ships depend on execution.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:

By literally going "Hey, can we ship?" Even if our muses have been getting close and we've been screaming about it? No. Outside of that? Yeah, you probably should ask before trying to ship. Confirmation is needed either way, but one can be through just saying the muse has feelings and then we yell about it, and the other has to be actually pitched and discussed.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?:

Depends. Romantically, I prefer to ship with muses of specific muns over others. I can’t like ships without enough interactions preceding it.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?:

Yes.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?:

I suppose more-or-less. I tend to get invested in platonic and familial things a lot faster than romantic things. I also prefer not to interact with people who seem ship obsessed when it comes to romance. When someone is too invested in collecting ships, it makes it seem like there is no chance for me to interact outside of ships, and I rather like interacting outside of ships.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:

Anahardt. Also, Fennorian and my ESO character finally deciding to do the quest and not making him chase after them and their horse several miles.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:

Just interact between the right muses. Ships that are pre-planned tend to not last with me, tbh. I don’t like when there is a pressure to eventually ship something, and I rather our muses be friends before shipping happens. A ship happening before interaction is something reserved for people I actually talk to ooc and have known enough to call friends and talk in depth about things with in a fun way. (Like Samson, who had a ship before even being on the blog because I talked about what I wanted to do for his character with a bro while working on his bio and stuff...)

Tagged By: I stole it

[brinesystem]

list, tw

I saw this on someone else’s blog (im not saying names cause idk if its okay to share that info? it was public but still) and it uh

It looked like a good way to kinda, like, have a bit less doubt? or a way to remind myself of whats happening and why i think i have this? idk

Might be triggering so like probs scroll past or something

‘the moods’ existed before i knew about did/osdd

I used to describe them as “it feels like half me, but also half somebody else”

I argue and talk with my own thoughts

Sometimes I talk/argue /aloud/ with my own thoughts

I have to actively fight to /convince/ Fae to talk to people, else he wont. and even when he does, its not how i want it to sound

I cant remember most of my childhood

The /bad/ middle school was when i was either 9 or 10

I knew too much about sex when i was much too young (7, 8)

I get ages wrong (i was 6 in cali, not 8. why do i think it was 8?)

I had a dream about getting raped when I was in elementary school. I didnt fight back. I didnt feel anything at all

I used to hide under desks

I hated my therapist. Its now fear. I dont remember what it was back then

I forget memories I recall, and if I force them back, everything hurts, even if theyre not traumatic

I often forget that I used to forget bad things that happened to me.

Other sex dreams from elementary school

The csa I /do/ remember (freshman). Why did i seek that out. Why did it seem like a good plan

I used to forget conversations daily

I drew myself (sebastian, older brother, nicer) before I knew i was trans. I dont have many memories from before I came out/knew i was trans. (am i an alter?)

Used to daydream for hours due to nerves. Disocciating?

The bathroom incident (middle school. 9 - 10)

How old are you? “16″ i reply this randomly when i am 23. when i was 21. Even when I know I am not

The HS trauma that happened right

I don’t have triggers for my trauma, except sometimes i /do/

Hypersexual, but only /sometimes/

I’m an adult! Except sometimes when my body is much too big and I am much too tall and I only want to curl up and be left /alone/. Except when i am small and fragile and want to have stuffed animals around me and play animal crossing. Except then.

Opinions keep changing, but to set differing ones. (Fashion sense, humor, hobbies, aesthetics)

Scared of dad! Not scared of dad. Pity dad. Could kill dad. Scared of dad! Not s-

Handwriting/Art/Writing style changes a lot (fluctuates between set stops)

Randomly gains accents and loses them. Only happens with two accents even though I know many

Stims change depending on Mood

Cant recognize myself in the mirror, but ideal keeps changing in set patterns (soft lumberjack, fae prince, cutesy, fashionable andro, suited devil)

Fave colors, songs, movies change in set patterns

Numb sensations to VERY INTENSE sensations. Cannot predict

Edible food changes depending on mood, even including safe foods (mac n cheese vs mussels vs ramen, etc)

What is this emotion? idk

Who am i? idk

I know I was bullied. Don’t remember why I know

Trying to think about my childhood makes me panic or get a headache

Super depressed after mental break ; Suddenly snapped out of it emotionally

That one time I slept for 3 days straight

Posture and walk cycle keeps changing

Gets songs stuck in my head that I’m not thinking about

Gets songs stuck in my head that i can’t even hear

Remembers things with no context given (the movie. “which movie” i dont know. “what was it about? who was in it? what was the title? what did it look like?” i dont know)

Bad sense of time, but like, days/hours can = months/years

“so mature for my age”

The Moods can be triggered into appearing, but not always by things I relate to them (ie; Kos and Fae)

Personality test results keep changing. All of them

False memories (the cliff, talking to the old woman about marriage, who knows what else)

Caught off guard by my own thoughts and even words I say (”sehb is gonna be mad at me for this, lol” “ACRRRRRYLICS”)

Most of my childhood memories are actually photos or stories ive heard

That dissociative test where I scored in the middle, but closer to DID than OSDD

Opinion on myself and my own looks varies

Opinion on my past varies

I dont recognize my own voice sometimes (is it changing? or is it my perception?)

Numb regarding pain, but then hypersensitive to it later

Numb regarding loss, skips straight to acceptance

Cant shiver normally, but sometimes can even when its not cold

Cant feel hunger normally, but sometimes can?

Favorite season and holidays change (summer, beach! autumn, cool air! halloween! no, valentines day!)

I dont feel connected to my family except my mum and maybe my youngest sister. These were /choices/ I made

Empathy? Dont know her. Except when I randomly start crying when others are sad, which always comes at different times but similar Moods

Cares about appearance one day, couldnt care less the next

Fave jacket: Green denim! Nope, today fave jacket: Grey hoodie! Nope, today f-

Headaches. So many headaches

More headaches when dealing with trauma

I doubt myself and worry I’m lying. Liars wouldnt do that, right?

Known to dissociate

Forget things mid sentence

Used ‘we’ when talking about myself at random before considering OSDD

Cant dream, except when I can and they dont feel like /mine/

Used to speak aloud with myself practicing words. Was I alone? idk

Loves animals. One of the Moods doesnt care at all about animals, even Wander

Loves video games. One of the moods detests video games

Loves horror games. Randomly feels intense fear from horror games

I know i was bullied, i know dad didnt come home on xmas, i know i moved a lot, i know i was in dc during 9/11, the ocean incident, the doctor incidents, I vaguely recall M(on base friend with older brother) and how she treated me (broke my glasses), i know i had a horrible time during that one year of middle school even though I only remember Two Moments (bathrooms, trailer) but I don’t necessarily have the memories of all of the things I know I dealt with

Memories are like snapshots or still moments, and dont continue

Memories I know effected me emotionally, I feel detached from now, except when i’m randomly Not (the koi, the caterpillar, not punching dad, etc)

Didn’t have friends until second year of middle school, those friends were bad, so were the hs friends

Ignored most things that happened but would randomly become enraged at smaller things that happened to me

The time on base I thought all adults driving by were pedophiles (i was 7. 8. why did i think that. why did i want to goad them? what was wrong with me??)

Keep forgetting memories like 81, but when I remember them theyre hard to get out of my head

“you acted so differently as a kid, what happened”

The Tics in response to stress

Was good at the doctors and then suddenly wasnt at all. Now am afraid

Was fine with bugs and then suddenly wasnt. Now am afraid

The fact that I dont remember typing ‘at all’ on 85

Lost old friend. Didnt mourn, still get a queasy feeling when I think about her/am reminded of her, but not upset or sad usually

Can connect most of the Moods to triggers, traumas, or coping methods, including myself

Reaction to trauma changed literally overnight

Used to love being tickled, now makes me panic (fight/flight)

Can feel when the Moods take something they see into themselves (was told this is normal. i am not faking this, at the very least)

I dont like lying. Fae doesnt/cant lie. Luci /enjoys/ lying.

Used to think solely in images. Now think solely in words.

Can sometimes hear thoughts before i think them, but only my own

Randomly gets worse coordination in turns with moods, and then gains it back after

Too trusting, but then gets in a mood and doubts even my closest friends

People keep telling me what im describing sounds like osdd, even friends who have met some of the Moods

I have an easier time remembering some things when I’m in different Moods

Used to have more amnesia before I started recognizing the Moods (was that me switching out?)

[sazandorable]

so im gonna do that AAW meme thing! cw: tmi about aza’s thrilling life, some cringey or vaguely depressing/upsetting anecdotes, some happy things in a silly way, and fandom

1.      Sunday, 21 October:

o   Describe your experience of finding out about asexuality/the ace spectrum.  What source(s) did you find it from? How did it feel to find out about asexuality? How did it change your life?

~Sherlock BBC fandom~! /o/ Yeaaaaah.

To be precise, the kink meme, on livejournal. just a random prompt asking for something exploring the arrangement between asexual sherlock and uhhh probably john but tbh i don’t remember that. maybe Irene. I’m almost sure this was right after the Scandal in Belgravia episode had aired, and that episode was why people were playing with the idea of Sherlock being uninterested in sex.

I don’t remember my exact feelings when I read that word, but I do remember that I was delighted at the concept (+ the discussion in the same episode about falling in love outside of your sexual orientation) and immediately convinced, that I jumped into researching asexuality, and that barely a few weeks later I was very deep in contemplating and musing about my own levels of attraction and sorting out all that stuff. I do think I just instantly realized this concept applied to me; I found the AVEN site and its definitions very fast, and grey-a felt good instantly. (I found demi later, and it took me a bit longer to claim it for myself, though I don’t remember much details about that.)

Like, years later I’m very much bitter about and Over™ Sherlock BBC, its writers, and that episode in particular and their stance on the sexualities and orientations of all their characters, but... it did bring me something very precious, that it would have taken me years to find out about otherwise.

It did change my life in that this is when I realized that I really, really, really didn’t have to date, have sex, marry or whatever “one day” if I never wanted to and I wasn’t “late” on anything. Took off a lot of pressure, and also made me stop trying to dub-con myself into accepting things I didn’t actively want just because I didn’t actively hate them.

2.      Monday, 22 October:

o   Talk about your coming out experience.  Of course, one many never be finished coming out, but you could describe how you came out to friends, what reactions you have gotten, how you have felt by coming out, and more.

Mm, two:

not quite coming out, and I don’t remember how it came up, but I mentioned “ok but what about asexuality” at my mother, perhaps a year or two after finding out about it, and she just scoffed and said “that’s not a thing, it’s just being scared of sex,” and I just... froze. Blanked out. Zoned out. Possibly shook a little. This was my first first-hand experience of being just... disacknowledged, erased, denied out of existence, and I had absolutely not expected it, nor the violence of it, nor the casual quality of that violence. I couldn’t say anything in reply, and I don’t think my mother noticed anything at all.

on another hand, I once explained to a gay male friend of mine that, well, I don’t call myself a lesbian, I like girls but I don’t call my super-duper-precious-friend my girlfriend, we are extremely close but we don’t have sex or really date, I’m asexual; and his reaction was “?? THAT’S SO COOL. That fits you! I’m glad for you that you can just do whatever works for you without following conventions about relationships! Cool, great!” and that just made my day.

3.      Tuesday, 23 October:

o   Describe your experience of confronting stereotypes.  There are many stereotypes or expectations of what being on the ace spectrum is like, but of course aspec people are just as diverse as any other group.  How have you defied or corrected these stereotypes?

uuhhhhh

Mostly this happens when I talk about asexuality with people who are questioning themselves, explaining the many different flavors it can come in, that yeah you can be asexual at the same time as enjoying sex, masturbating, having fantasies, wanting to date, etc. Not so much smashing established stereotypes, more confirming that nop this thing that you think would “disqualify” you from being asexual doesn’t, actually, you still might be, you’re not “fake”.

4.      Wednesday, 24 October:

o   Talk about positive representation of aspec people in media which has benefited you or speaks to you strongly.  Aspec people are not often represented in media, so it will be nice to see which representations have the strongest impacts.

*STANDS UP, VIBRATING*

TWENTYACETEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

This year I got two cases of explicit, confirmed, canon, accurate and nuanced representation with central characters in two series that were already extremely close to my heart, and I’m so happy about it!!!!

Spoilers for both fandoms!

1) Shimanami Tasogare: a recently finished manga about LGBT community. In one of the last arcs, we learn that the very central yet mysterious character Anonymous (Dareka-san) is asexual. Like, the character says it, in full letters, and it’s discussed a lot.

Well, it’s more complicated than that, because it’s set in Japan and written in Japanese and Japan has different approaches, concepts and vocabulary around asexuality than English-language; what Anonymous initially describes might be closer to what English-language would call aromanticism. But they also later go “Am I interested in sex, or not? Who knows :)”, with their potential interest in sex represented with them reading porn magazines, and they’ve already expressed that they’re not interested in dating, so as it happens they’re probably both aro and ace (in English terms) anyway. (In the same sequence, they also explain that they might be male, or female, and generally aren’t overly concerned with how people think of them, anything works for them.)

This brings the other characters to think some more about their own desires for love, sex, relationships, human contact... There is a beautiful scene where the main character thinks that knowing this lets him finally understand Anonymous, that this must be why they are so mysterious and detached and fleeting — and Anonymous tells him point-blank that nah. They’re not just their asexuality. Don’t reduce them to that. They’re not “anonymous” because they’re asexual, and vice-versa — those are just two incidental parts of who they are. They are a full person, who just happens to be asexual, and also to enjoy being anonymous and unknown and find freedom in living their life this way.

It was just incredible to read entire chapters dedicated to a central character talking at length about their asexuality, and also how they relate, not only to straight people, but also to queer non-ace people. In the end the main character still doesn’t quite get Anonymous, and that’s how they like it.

2) The Magnus Archives: an ongoing horror podcast that’s casually LGBTQIA-friendly. (Like, a lot of horrible stuff does happen to queer people, but that’s because there’s a lot of them, and I do think that statistically more of them survive than straight people. Equal opportunity horror.) I had been toying with headcanoning the main character Jon as asexual for a variety of reasons for a while, and then in an episode that aired a few months ago a character casually mentioned that “apparently [he] just... doesn’t. At all.” Asked to elaborate, the writer confirmed on twitter that yup, he’s written as asexual (though who knows if Jon would use that word himself, he doesn’t really think about it).

I’m especially delighted because this came up, in context, because Jon has dated. At least once. We know his ex, and she is super chill with him. This reveal also comes up in the same breath as the reveal that a male character seems to have a crush on him, and IMO the show seems to hint that said character is aware that Jon doesn’t do sex, and doesn’t/wouldn’t mind this if they were to date.

Jon did start out as the usual cold, rational, unempathetic character archetype (in fact, he’s very reminiscent of BBC’s Sherlock in early episodes), but by the time this line comes up, the listener knows that he actually cares a lot and is full of emotions. He’s shown to be very, very protective of the people close to him — though also very bad at it. And at expressing it. But, still around the same time of the ace reveal, he is making deliberate efforts to communicate more and value everyone’s feelings. And of course, being the central character, he’s a veeeeery developed character with tons of evolution and nuances, and a huge fandom fave. The reveal that’s he’s asexual has changed exactly nothing in the show; but, like I said, it fits him, he read as asexual to the point that I was suspecting it despite zero real textual evidence until then.

When this episode came out and I heard that line (... I actually had missed it on first listen), I was at work, and I just started almost crying at my desk.

And then I got to go around yelling about it at my fandom friends.

... And at my non-fandom friends.

[perfectlyrose]

wrong number, right person

Summary: Complete accident brings Rose and John into each other’s lives by way of a misdialed phone number but as they form a friendship that could bloom into love, it almost seems more like fate.

Pairing: Ten x Rose || Rating: All ages || Word Count: 4264

Note: For Day Seven of 31 Days of Ficmas: prompt “ring.” This is... so much longer than I intended it to be when I started writing lol. - tagging @doctorroseprompts for the event :)

AO3

Rose answered her phone without looking to see who was calling, assuming it was Jack for the third time that evening. “I told you Jack, I can’t come out tonight, I’ve got homework and a bloody astronomy exam tomorrow I need to revise for.”

“Um, I think I have the wrong number but I could probably give you some tips on astronomy if you need them,” a male voice on the other end of the line that was decidedly not Jack said.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry. My friend has been calling me non-stop trying to get me to go clubbing with him tonight and I just assumed he was trying again,” Rose said, cheeks heating.

“No need to apologize! I’m the one who dialed wrong and interrupted your revising,” the man said, very cheerful for someone talking to a stranger.

“It wasn’t going well, so I really don’t mind.”

“I meant it when I said I could give you some astronomy tips. I umm… I might have a doctorate in the subject.” The last sentence came out in a rush, like he was nervous about admitting it.

“Really? You sure you’re not trying to impress some random girl on the phone?” Rose teased.

“Honestly, astronomy and astrophysics don’t usually do the trick.”

“Got degrees in both?”

“Yeah.”

“Bit brilliant, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Rose laughed. “Alright mystery doctor, want to give an impromptu intro to astronomy lecture over the phone to a stranger?”

“Love to, actually. What unit is your exam on?”

“Honestly, if you can make parallax equations make sense I will probably propose marriage at this point,” Rose admitted. “I’m really lost.”

He laughed. “Proposing to me and you don’t even know who I am. Bit hasty but I like it.”

“Hey, I just said I might propose, no promises. Besides, this is dependent on your teaching skills.”

“I’ll have to be impressive then.”

“You better be, I’d like to pass this exam,” she shot back. “I’m Rose, by the way.”

“John, but you can keep calling me Doctor, if you want.”

She raised her eyebrows even though he couldn’t see. “Alright, Doctor.”

Rose could practically hear his smile.

“Alright, ready to learn?”

“I guess. Last chance and all that.”

“Brilliant!”

With that he launched into a lecture that was far more engaging than any of the actual classes Rose had attended. Her impromptu professor had a tendency to go off on tangents but also a knack for actually describing things in a way that made sense to her and by the end of the conversation, she actually felt like she might pass the test.

“Thank you so much,” she said, things winding to a close. They’d been talking for an hour at least. “You have definitely earned a potential marriage proposal.”

He laughed, the sound warm and low. “Wait and see if you actually pass that exam.”

“Seriously though, thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome.”

“I don’t know who you were trying to call but I’m really glad you rang me instead.”

“Me too.”

“Alight, goodnight then, Doctor.”

“Night, Rose.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When Rose got her exam grade back and saw that she’d actually passed by more than a smidge, she quickly snapped a picture and texted it to her mystery caller.

Text to Space Doctor [5:32 pm]: <Image attached>

Text to Space Doctor [5:32 pm]: i passed! ready to accept my proposal?

Text to Starry Rose [5:36 pm]: Congratulations! Knew you could do it!

Text to Space Doctor [5:42 pm]: my prof is probably going to think i cheated

Text to Starry Rose [5:43 pm]: Nonsense! You’re brilliant!

Text to Space Doctor [5:45 pm]: science isn’t really my thing but thx

Text to Starry Rose [5:50 pm]: Feel free to call me up if you need help again. I’m happy to be of assistance.

Text to Starry Rose [5:54 pm]: If you want. That was probably weird to offer. Sorry. I just like to help and I enjoyed talking to you.

Text to Space Doctor [6:01 pm]: thatd be brilliant!!!! im def going to take you up on that

Text to Space Doctor [6:02 pm]: sorry cant chat rn. at my mums for dinner

Text to Starry Rose [6:02 pm]: Have fun! Look forward to talking again soon :)

Rose stowed her phone back in her purse and headed into the kitchen to help her mum with a smile on her face.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“You know, I never asked who you were trying to call when you ended up ringing me,” Rose said. “Last time, I mean. Obviously, since I called you this time.”

It was a couple weeks after that first call. They’d texted on and off about random things and Rose was really starting to consider him a friend despite never having laid eyes on him. With another exam looming, she’d called John up for another tutoring session.

“Oh, my sister, Donna. She wanted to try and talk me into coming to some dinner party so really you saved me,” he said, voice completely earnest.

“Happy to help.”

“Gracious of you. Ready to start?”

“Don’t need an offer of marriage beforehand?”

“I am a patient man, Rose,” he said loftily.

Rose snorted. “No you’re not. Even I could tell you that.”

“Rude.”

“Teach me of the stars oh wise, patient Doctor,” she intoned, laying the sarcasm on thick.

“Still rude but I’ll let it slide this time.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Text to Space Doctor [8:34 pm]: i looked up the going rate for tutors and i’m really glad you aren’t charging me anything

Text to Starry Rose [8:37 pm]: Who says I’m not logging hours to bill you later?

Text to Space Doctor [8:41 pm]: would have to find an address for me to bill me :)

Text to Starry Rose [8:43 pm]: That /is/ a dilemma.

Text to Space Doctor [8:47 pm]: besides… i already offered to marry you in exchange for your services as tutor. not my fault you didn’t take me up on that excellent deal

Text to Starry Rose [8:50 pm]: I still could.

Text to Space Doctor [8:51 pm]: nope too late now. missed ur chance ;)

Text to Starry Rose [8: 54 pm]: A true tragedy.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Oi! Spaceman, are you listening to me at all?”

John whipped his head up to give Donna a sheepish expression. “Yes?”

“You weren’t. You had that goofy smile on your face that means you were texting that Rose girl.”

“I did not!”

“You so did. When are you going to actually ask her out?”

He sighed. “I don’t even know if she’s in London, Donna. Can’t exactly take her to dinner if she’s not in the city.”

“But you do want to take her to dinner!” Donna crowed.

John rolled his eyes and pocketed his phone after shooting off a quick text to Rose. “Yes, fine. I’d like to actually meet her in person and maybe eat while doing so. Happy?”

“For now.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Text to Starry Rose [10:21 am]: I wish I was anywhere except this meeting right now.

Text to Space Doctor [10:22 am]: probs better than my astronomy lecture

Text to Space Doctor [10:23 am]: i swear this guy doesn’t realize half the class is asleep

Text to Starry Rose [10:25 am]: I would MUCH rather be in an astronomy lecture right now.

Text to Space Doctor [10:26 am]: nerd

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Ooh, are you texting your mystery man again, Rosie?” Jack asked, leaning closer to her. They were out at the pub and crammed into a booth with three other people.

Rose rolled her eyes. “He is not my mystery man. He’s just a friend who’s helping me pass astronomy.”

“You don’t even text me that much,” Jack said, eyebrows raised. “So, come on, spill the beans.”

Rose groaned and reached for her beer. “I might, might, have a crush on my mystery man.”

Jack cheered, drawing looks from everyone else at their table. “So make a move!”

“I don’t even know who he is, Jack! He probably doesn’t even live around here.”

“So?”

“So that makes making a move a bit difficult, yeah?”

“You two lovebirds already have a great connection. What’s a bit of distance and putting a face to a name?”

“A lot.”

“Fine, fine. Just think about it though.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Text to Space Doctor [1:47 am]: u stil up?

Text to Starry Rose [1:49 am]: Yes. Didn’t realize it was so late, actually.

Text to Space Doctor [1:52 am]: jack got me drynkj

Text to Space Doctor [1:53 am]: drunk. ha!

Text to Starry Rose [1:54 am]: All his fault?

Text to Space Doctor [1:56 am]: no

Text to Space Doctor [1:57 am]: ur falt too

Text to Starry Rose [2:00 am]: Really? How so?

Text to Starry Rose [2:05 am]: Rose?

Text to Starry Rose [2:11 am]: Are you alright? Do you need someone to come get you or anything? I’m in London but I can call a cab anywhere.

Text to Starry Rose [2:20 am]: I’m going to hope you just fell asleep or your phone died but let me know that you’re alright when you see these messages.

Text to Space Doctor [7:46 am]: remind me never to drink w/ jack again.

Text to Space Doctor [7:47 am]: my head is killing me

Text to Space Doctor [7:54 am]: sorry for worrying u last night. fell asleep

Text to Space Doctor [8:02 am]: also sorry for drunk texting you

Text to Starry Rose [9:13 am]: Glad you’re alright. You can text me whenever, you know that :)

Text to Space Doctor [9:14 am]: :) :) :)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“I still can’t believe you haven’t finished reading Harry Potter,” John complained. They’d been talking for almost three months now and, as far as she could tell, he had called tonight specifically to complain about her lack of Harry Potter knowledge.

“I’ve been a bit busy.”

“The last one has been out for ten years, Rose.”

“I’ll get there!”

“You’ve at least seen the movies, right?”

“The first couple. I’m waiting to read the books,” she said, grinning. This was too easy.

He groaned dramatically. “I’m not sure I can be friends with you.”

Rose laughed. “You know you are far too easy to wind up, right?”

“What?”

“Doctor, I’ve read the whole series like three times and seen all the movies,” she admitted, still grinning as she moved into her kitchen to pour a glass of wine.

“I cannot believe you.”

“Still want to be friends?”

He sniffed, dramatic to the end. “I suppose, but you’re on thin ice.”

“Even if I tell you my theories on the Sorting Hat?”

“...I’m listening.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Text to Space Doctor [3:34 pm]: i’m going to fail all my finals but especially astronomy

Text to Starry Rose [3:36 pm]: You’re going to do brilliantly. Want me to call tonight to help go over things?

Text to Space Doctor [3:39 pm]: please. i’ll be home around 7?

Text to Starry Rose [3:45 pm]: I’ll talk to you then!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Rose walked out of her astronomy final feeling cautiously optimistic about how she’d done. She quickly fished out her mobile and turned it back on to text John. She quickly shot off a message that she’d survived and then headed straight to Tesco’s to get a celebratory bottle of wine.

Jack wasn’t finished with his tests until tomorrow so they were going out then. Tonight was all hers and she had a date with Netflix and at least one bottle of wine.

She was settling down on her sofa when her mobile buzzed in her pocket. Rose quickly checked it and smiled when she saw it was a text from the Doctor.

Text to Starry Rose [6:52 pm]: Congratulations on making it through your class! I’m sure you aced the final!

Text to Space Doctor [6:54 pm]: SO glad to be done with that class

Text to Space Doctor [6:55 pm]: celebrating with alcohol and crap telly. any watching suggestions before i pick something?

Text to Starry Rose [6:59 pm]: Star Trek?

Text to Space Doctor [7:02 pm]: omg you are so predictable

She grinned and queued up the next episode of the comedy she’d started a week ago and settled in for a cozy night.

About three quarters of the way through her bottle of wine, Rose had the sudden realization that without astronomy class, she wouldn’t have a built-in excuse to call John anymore. She knew they were friends, but what if everything was built on that tutor relationship and things started crumbling.

She’d known for a while that she had a massive crush on her mysterious friend, despite having no clue what he looked like or any identifying details about him. She took a healthy sip of her wine and picked up her phone, quickly opening her conversation with John.

Maybe meeting in person was the next step. She’d wanted to for ages but something had held her back. Fear. The fear that he would be disappointed by who she was outside of their phone conversations or that maybe she would be disappointed in him, but she thought that scenario unlikely. The fear that actually meeting would somehow ruin the magic of their instant friendship.

That feeling was suppressed by red wine, showing up only as a tickle in the pit of her stomach as she started typing.

Text to Space Doctor [8:50 pm]: you know… we should meet up sometime. get chips or something

Text to Space Doctor [8:53 pm]: i’m in london too. don’t know if i ever told you that

Text to Space Doctor [8:56 pm]: but i’d really like to properly meet you.

Text to Space Doctor [9:00 pm]: only if you want tho

Rose stared down at her phone, biting her bottom lips as the television played on unnoticed. He usually answered faster than this. Had she made him uncomfortable? Oh god, what if she’d completely screwed things up?

She set her phone aside and tried to concentrate on her show and reclaim the celebratory mood she’d felt earlier but it was gone.

Soon the wine was as well.

John never texted back.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When Jack arrived at Rose’s flat the next afternoon, he expected to find his friend chipper and ready for a night out on the town now that they were done with the semester. Instead, she opened the door in sweats and an oversized t-shirt, expression drawn.

“Whoa there, Rosie. You feeling alright?” he asked, stepping into her flat and closing the door behind him.

“I’m fine,” she said, giving him a wan smile. “Just lost track of time. I’ll go get ready, you know where everything is.”

“Hey now,” he said, grabbing onto her arm so she didn’t get very far. “What’s wrong? Did you get a bad exam grade back or something? It’s not like you to be so down, especially when we’re free of classes for a bit!”

“I’m fine!”

“You’re not. Fight with your mystery boy?”

Rose looked away and Jack felt a protective anger rising in his chest.

“What did the jackass do?”

“Nothing, that’s the problem,” she said with a sigh, sagging back against the back of the sofa.

“Care to elaborate?”

“I’d texted him earlier last night to tell him I’d survived the astronomy final and everything seemed fine and then I had to go and open my stupid mouth after having a lot of wine.”

Jack raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

She sighed. “I asked him if he wanted to meet up sometime, like in person. Get chips or something.”

“And he didn’t answer you?”

“S’like he fell off the face of the planet. I haven’t heard from him all day.”

“Aw, Rose, I’m sorry. I know you really like him.” Jack gathered her into a hug and his heart cracked a bit when he heard her sniffle.

“I really really do. Why won’t he answer me? He could just say no and we could stay phone friends at least.”

“I don’t know, Rosie. Your man’s an idiot.”

She laughed, a small watery thing but a laugh nonetheless. “Yeah he is.”

“Wanna stay in and watch cheesy chick flicks and eat ice cream?”

“I don’t want to ruin your night, Jack. You go ahead and go out without me,” she insisted, pulling back from the hug.

“Nope. I’m spending the night with you. We can go out another time when you’ll actually have fun.”

“I might have already eaten all my ice cream.”

“I’ll go get us some more while you pick out movies. Deal?”

“Throw in some wine and you’ve got one.”

“Perfect.”

They shook on it like they always did and then Jack kissed her forehead and waltzed back out the door.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

John sped back to town, anxious to get to his flat where he would have both a charged mobile and service so he could use it. He’d gone on a stargazing trip and forgotten that he wouldn’t have any reception or power and he hadn’t told Rose that he was going off the grid.

Damn but he missed her. He was really hoping that she still wanted to be friends now that she didn’t need his astronomy knowledge any more. He thought that she would but there was still this niggling worry that maybe he thought they were better friends than they were. He could be blinded by the ginormous crush he had on her but he was almost positive that they were legitimately friends.

The moment he stepped into his flat he dropped his bag on the floor with a thud and made a beeline for the phone charger by his bed. Powering up his mobile, he winced at the number of texts he’d missed. A couple were from Donna but he went straight to his messages with Rose.

He couldn’t contain his grin when he read the first few, the ones that said she wanted to meet him. John couldn’t believe he’d missed these! Then his heart fell into his stomach as he kept reading.

Text to Space Doctor [10:34 am]: if you don’t want to meet up u can just say so

Text to Space Doctor [10:40 am]: i’m not going to hold it against you or anythin

Text to Space Doctor [5:45 pm]: i hope you’re alright. not like you not to text back.

Text to Space Doctor [6:02 pm]: sorry if i made things awkward

Text to Space Doctor [11:22 am]: you know what, fuck this. i really want to meet you because i really like you and you’re one of my best friends now. you don’t have to up and ghost me just out of the blue like this

Text to Space Doctor [1:30 pm]: please at least let me know that you’re okay

John swore profusely as he checked the time and realized that her last text was from four hours ago. She’d been texting him all weekend, thinking he was just ignoring her because he was an idiot and forgot to tell her he was going out of range.

Hands shaking, he hit the dial button and raised the phone to his ear, praying she’d actually pick up.

“Nice of you to finally answer me,” she said acidly when she picked up on what he thought was the last ring before it went to voicemail. “I do like to know that my friend isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“Rose, I’m so sorry,” he started.

“For worrying me or for being a prick or for something else?”

“Everything? I was on a stargazing trip and I forgot that I wouldn’t have service out there. And then my phone died and I’d forgotten to pack my charger and I just got back to my flat and saw your messages. I called right away. I’m so sorry.” The words spilled out of him, like if he got them out fast enough, Rose would believe him faster and they could move past this and get to the meeting up part that he really hoped she still wanted to do.

There was silence for a moment and then he heard Rose start laughing.

“Rose?”

“Oh my god, I was worried that I’d scared you off and then that something had happened and you were just being your normal idiot self,” she said through her laughs.

“Um, yeah pretty much. And for the record, you proposed to me during our first conversation, I don’t think you’re scaring me off now,” he said, rubbing at the back of his neck with his free hand.

“Well, that’s good to hear.”

“So, chips? I’ll buy. I really want to meet you too.” He paused, heart racing as he worked on getting the words out. “I kinda really like you too,” he said.

“It’s a date,” Rose said. He could hear the smile in her voice and he grinned too.

“Brilliant!”

“Are you free right now? I could murder a basket of chips right about now.”

“I am! Just have to wait for my phone to finish charging.”

“Perfect. I’ll text you the address of my favorite chippy?”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later then!”

John made a little happy noise and Rose laughed.

“I like the sound of that too,” she admitted.

“I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Bye, Doctor.”

“Bye Rose.”

They rang off and the Doctor just grinned down at his phone. He had a date with Rose! A real proper date!

His mobile buzzed and he quickly opened the message from Rose.

Text to Space Doctor [5:47 pm]: meet in an hour? this is the address.

Text to Space Doctor [5:47 pm]: <image attached>

Text to Space Doctor [5:48 pm]: and that’s me so you know who you’re looking for ;)

Text to Space Doctor [5:49 pm]: see you soon! xx

Text to Starry Rose [5:49 pm]: You are gorgeous.

Text to Starry Rose [5:50 pm]: <image attached>

Text to Starry Rose [5:50 pm]: One hour. See you soon :) xx

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Within five minutes of meeting, neither of them could remember why they were so nervous about doing this. They talked as easily as they had over the phone and text for months but now, they could see the smiles they were drawing from the other person and brush fingers as they stole chips from each other.

Rose teased John endlessly about forgetting his wallet when he had promised to buy but said that they were definitely on him next time. His answering grin was so wide and bright that Rose thought she might pay for the chips all the time just to see it.

They reluctantly parted ways after a couple hours, heading in opposite directions outside of the shop. Rose had barely made it around the first corner when her phone vibrated in her hand.

Text to Starry Rose [9:15 pm]: Have plans for tomorrow?

Text to Space Doctor [9:16 pm]: miss me already? ;)

Text to Starry Rose [9:16 pm]: Yes.

Text to Space Doctor [9:16 pm]: big ol’ softie <3 i miss you too

Text to Space Doctor [9:17 pm]: and no i don’t have anything planned

Text to Starry Rose [9:18 pm]: Good. Want to hang out with me?

Text to Space Doctor [9:18 pm]: absolutely. give me the details when you know them?

Text to Starry Rose [9:20 pm]: Will do :)

Text to Space Doctor [11:15 pm]: so i figure i might as well put this out there before i see you tomorrow. i meant it when i said i really like you and you should know that it’s as more than just a friend. i’m hopin that you feel the same but if not than we can stay just friends

Text to Space Doctor [11:18 pm]: really what i’m trying to say is that if you’re not completely opposed to the idea i’m probably going to kiss you tomorrow

Text to Starry Rose [11:19 pm]: Honestly, I almost kissed you today when we hugged goodbye so I’m definitely not opposed and I feel the same way :)

Text to Space Doctor [11:20 pm]: !!!!

Text to Starry Rose [11:20 pm]: Haha, my feelings exactly!

Text to Space Doctor [11:22 pm]: so… do you want to just come over to mine tomorrow and watch netflix and maybe make out on the couch?

Text to Space Doctor [11:23 pm]: i might even let you convince me to watch star trek finally

Text to Starry Rose [11:23 pm]: Yes.

Text to Starry Rose [11:23 pm]: Also yes to the Star Trek. You’re going to love it!

Text to Space Doctor [11:24 pm]: your nerdery is catching, apparently

Text to Space Doctor [11:24 pm]: i only didn’t watch it before because i thought it would be more fun to watch it with you

Text to Starry Rose [11:25 pm]: Now who’s the big ol’ softie? :)) <3

Text to Space Doctor [11:25 pm]: the promise of make outs helps too

Text to Space Doctor [11:26 pm]: still you <3

Text to Starry Rose [11: 28 pm]: I’m going to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow! xx

Text to Space Doctor [11:29 pm]: goodnight doctor <3 see you tomorrow xx

[restlessmaknae]

Beth’s birthday prompt party!

Let me invite all of you to my first ever prompt party which will start right now and last until my birthday which is September 6th. The date is subject to change, it depends on how many of you will join me. One thing is for sure, I’m going to upload the first finished drabble(s) on my birthday and keep uploading them until they are all up.

What’s a prompt party, you might ask. It’s a fancy name for telling you that I’m taking drabble requests for a week because my birthday is coming up and I want to thank you all for staying with me, being my friend and supporting my fics! Sadly, I can’t give you anything else besides my virtual bear hugs and the fics that I’m writing. *sending those virtual hugs*

During this prompt party, you have the chance to tell me what you would like to read. I came up with a list of prompts (narrowed down the prompts from the following lists: 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5), so you can choose a boy group member, a prompt from my list and even add some extra details if you wish.

Here’s my list:

1.“Fancy seeing you here.” “I work here.”

2.“Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge” “Can I pick?”

3.“If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t, we all die.”

4.“No, no, you do NOT want me navigating. I’ll accidentally navigate us off a cliff.”

5.“Is that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

6.“This is all your fault.” “I hope so.”

7.“Excuse me! I was a superhero for ten whole minutes!” “And in that time you got kidnapped and we had to come to the rescue.”

8.“I am way too sober for this.”

9.“You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”

10.“Did you just… agree with me?” “Oh, I wish I could take-““Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

11.“This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course, I’m in.”

12.“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner having another existential crisis.”

13.“Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

14.“What are you afraid of?” “You.”

15.“Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I break his nose a little?”

16.“You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at it.”

17.“I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

18.“Unless I screw this up again, I’m going to marry you.” “Well you better not mess this up”

19.“Whether you believe in me or not, I will continue to exist.”

20.“Take my hand.” “Why?” “I’m trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!”

21.“You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”

22.“You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

23.“She’s my best friend. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clear your feelings for her has.”

24.“I saved your life.” “You pushed me off a building.”

25.“How do we keep getting into these situations?” “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

26.“I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

27.“What now?” “I don’t know. I thought the jump would kill us.”

28.“I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”

29.“You love her don’t you?” “Was it that obvious?”

30.“I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know…. fall in love with me.”

31.“You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead.”

32.“Nope. I can’t go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.”

33. "I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."

34. "I'm cold. Come closer."

35. "I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”

36. "People are jerks, but not you."

37. "I'll share the blankets with you."

38. "Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death."

39. "You can put your cold feet on me."

40. "Your stray red item turned my whites pink."

41. "A thunderstorm is rolling through town and you’re scared of lightening/thunder, so I’ll protect you."

42. "There was a power outage and now we have to have dinner by candlelight."

43. "Rock Paper Scissors to see who has to go talk to the neighbors upstairs for being too loud."

44. "I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me what’s going on."

45. "Our AC is out and it’s the middle of the summer."

46. "You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar."

47. "My parents are coming over in 10 minutes, so please put some clothes on."

48. "We’re repainting the apartment and going to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches."

49. "IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH."

50. "My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date, so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years failing to get over them."

51. "I’m really drunk, please help me get safely out of the way, so I don’t ruin our friend’s wedding."

52. "This is probably a bad time, but marry me?"

53. "We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about. "

54. "I know you haven’t had the best experience with dogs in the past but look at its face please please can we keep it?"

55. "I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary, but everything that could go wrong, did go wrong."

56. "I beat you at Mario Kart and now you're banishing me to the couch for the night?”

57. "I surprised you with tickets to see our favorite band… WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SURPRISED ME WITH TICKETS TO SEE THEM TOO?"

58. "You had a business trip and I missed you so much that I kind of tore up the house in your absence like a dog with separation anxiety… sorry?"

59. "You’re lucky I’m pregnant!"

60. "Can you help me up, your child is pretty heavy."

61. "I can’t be pregnant… or….OH MY GOD! "

62. "It’s 2 am but you’re craving cake and we’re both up anyway so let’s bake in our underwear."

63. "I think someone had a little accident with the finger paint."

64. "Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort, not me."

65. "Ooh…someone’s got a tummy ache."

66. "Okay fine, one more story, but then you really have to go to bed."

67. “you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die” au

68. “i’m a biker and one day i was biking in your neighborhood while you just happened to be outside watering the plants and since you’re so goddamn cute i accidentally steered into a pole and now you’re giving me first aid (holy shit you’re even cuter up close)” au /“you’re biking through my neighborhood and you ran into a pole so now i’m really concerned and patching you up, oh my gosh you’re really hot even though you have a bloody nose” au

69. “i’m at a karaoke bar and i’m sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh shit” au

70. “you fell asleep on my shoulder on the plane ride and i would ask you to move but you look so comfy and adorable when you sleep. also you smell really good and the feeling of your breath on my skin is somewhat relaxing, maybe we can go out to lunch in this shitty airport when you wake up?” au

71. “i’m one of those talk show stars that walks up to random people on the streets and asks them really obscure questions, and you’re really cute and camera shy and i’m sorry but it’s adorable how you stutter when you’re nervous, uh, perhaps when there aren’t so many cameras surrounding me i can buy you a drink?” au

72. “will you stop flirting with me you just got seriously injured and i’m the EMT trying to tend to your wounds in the ambulance, i don’t give a fuck that i look cute when i’m concerned, you’re lucky you’re not dead you dipshit” au

73. “you have fire powers and i have ice powers and one day you save my ass and even though we’re supposed to be rivals, you’re actually really really cute and warm can i just stay in your arms forever bc i am perpetually cold” au /“you have ice powers and i have fire powers and i save your sorry ass from getting hurt/killed, okay i know we’re supposed to be rivals according to every legend ever but you’re adorable and wow you’re really cold, would you like me to warm you up?” au

74. “we’re coworkers and all the other employees ship us so just for fun we all go out clubbing/to a bar but little do we know its actually a plot they set up to get us to realize our supposed love for each other. wait you’re actually a really good dancer and your laugh is so endearing and, holy shit, maybe our colleagues were right” au

75. “i catch you at the bus terminal shivering your ass off because it’s 30 degrees and for some godforsaken reason you’re wearing a short sleeve t shirt, so out of pity i lend you my hoodie and you look so surprised it’s the cutest thing i’ve ever seen, setting aside the fact that you’re a goddamn idiot, do you want to get sick?” au / “you look so sad and cold that i just tell you to keep my hoodie b/c you obviously need it more than i do. a week later i see you at a coffee shop/book store/etc. and you’re wearing my hoodie which you look so fucking tiny and cute in, and you just saw me and you look super embarrassed; you offer me it back but i tell you it suits you more and we end up talking and i buy you a drink” au

76. “we’re partners in cupcake wars and i never realized how cute you look with frosting on your face until now but no distractions, we have to fucking pummel these other teams because we are the best goddamn cupcake company in the universe WE CAN DO THIS” au

77. “i accidentally called the wrong skype number and it turns out the person i called was you and you’re in a different time zone, so it’s 3am where you are and you just woke up and look fucking pissed but you’re cute so… let’s do this again when you’re not asleep. i’m more than willing to stay up into the dead of night to talk to you” au

78. “i’m a radio host who indirectly mentions you and flirts with you on my show but you’re so goddamn clueless, please just notice me i’m so desperate for you it’s kind of sad” au

angst

79. “There was never an us.”

80. “You can hate me, you can dislike me but how can you cheat on me?”

81. “Breaking up, was our best choice…right?”

82. “Just because I don’t show or say that it hurt, doesn’t mean I don’t have any feelings.”

83. “I loved you. Loved.”

84. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend!”

85. “You’re just another player, and it’s a game over to us.”

86. „I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them.”

87. „I work at the animal shelter and you always come in to pet the cats when you’re sad.”

88. “Oh so you’re the camp counselor my little sibling keeps talking about”

89. „We both have friends who party too hard and we keep running into each other in the bathroom while we hold their hair back.”

90. „We showed up at a book club meeting but we’re the only people there who are not interested in Nicholas Sparks.”

91. „We both signed up for an adventure cycling class and we’re the slowest people so we always end up biking together at the back.”

92. „Our little siblings are on rival sports teams and I’ve made it my life goal to cheer louder than you.”

93. „Someone gave me a fake phone number and it’s actually yours.”

94. “Money talks bullshit walks, pay me and I’ll do it for you.”

95. “Stop being so careless one of these days you will get us both killed”

96. “I’m sorry but the number you have dialed is currently unavailable please don’t try again.”

97. “Can you please tell me why we are locked in the school’s janitor closet?”

98. “Get your ass over here i’m not done with you yet!”

99. “Should I suppose to take it as an insult or a compliment?”

100. “I have a huge hangover and am not in the mood to argue with you. So whatever it is I think it can wait until tomorrow.”

101. “I can’t believe that you left me alone with this idiot.”

102. “It seems like you are having a hard time over there, need help?”

103. “Do you think he is still breathing?”

104. “Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?”

105. “Somehow being a ghost has made you hotter”

106. “I’m glad to be your travelling companion in this journey of regret”

107. “You’re lucky I’m tired because if I was fully awake I would have already shoved you off this roof.”

108. „I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me– I need these for my sanity.”

109. „It’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost.”

110. „You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3 AM and I’m angry but also really hungry.”

111. „I've been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today?”

(the ones crossed out have already been requested *-*)

How can you request? Leave your request(s) in my ask box. For example, you can say that you want #66 with Chen and that’s it. Or you want #26 with Jin and you think it would be interesting as a gang AU. Or you would like a best friends to lovers story with Jae from Day6 and #4. Really, you can ask for anything! It’s your time to request a story you would like to read, so don’t be afraid! I don’t bite. ;)

How many drabbles can you request? You can ask for more drabbles but keep in mind that it might take a while until I’ll finish writing them all.

What can/can’t you ask for? I’m not comfortable writing smut, so please don’t ask for those. Furthermore, I don’t write yaoi, yuri, genderbender, mpreg, my stories are always member x OC/reader centered. Groups that I’ll take requests for are the ones that I’m familiar with and love, so which are the following: BTS, EXO, GOT7, Day6, Monsta X, Pentagon, NCT, KNK, BtoB, SHINee, VIXX, Astro, Seventeen, The Rose, B1A4, SF9 and Teen Top.

Any questions? My ask is always open, so I’m looking forward to your requests and any questions that you might have.

I hope lots of you will join me and we can have a wonderful prompt party together! I love you all! <3 Thank you for staying with me! <3

[jemsboner]

post lord of shadows thoughts and predictions

okay time to round up all this shit in one post. this is still all over the place though sorry, it’s in no order just writing shit down as it comes to me. this is going to be super long and spoilery so it’s under a read more

1. I enjoyed Lord of Shadows much more than Lady Midnight. LM was good but it felt very bogged down in character and plot introduction, not its fault it had a lot to introduce lmao. Wasn’t super excited to read los after lm cause it wasn’t that memorable, but now I’m dying for Queen of Air and Darkness. 2. Since LM was (I’m pretty sure been a while) told exclusively through the older kids povs, ty and livvy felt super young despite only be 2 years younger than Julian and Emma, but they really felt like teenagers who are just tired of being treated and seen as children in this one. 3. Um I really feel for Malcolm. Like a lot. Listen I know he went a little of the deep end there, but no one could argue against that he loves Annabel more than anything. All the diary entries and the house he built for them honestly kill me. I really don’t believe he left her alone on purpose which makes me sad because Annabel died believing he betrayed her and that was one of the reasons she killed him. I’m excited to see him before he knew the truth about Annabel in TLH. 4. Speaking of Annabel holy shit. Something is definitely not right with her. I like how powerful she is and she was pretty endearing at the end, she actually kind’ve reminds me of cecily. also I’m dying cause I just remembered while writing this that everyone thought that Livvy looked alike Annabel kill me. I definitely didn’t think she meant to do what she did at the end, obvs an explanation is not an excuse 😏, but she lashes out and then gets scared. she seems to regret killing livvy the moment after it happens and I’m interested to see how this affects her. 5. So I guess with no inquisitor that exile thing is not gonna work. but I still believe that cortana will have something to do with breaking the parabatai bond…it can cut through anything after all. 6. Speaking of cutting through anything EMMA FUCKING BROKE THE MORTAL SWORD. LIKE THAT CAN NOT BE GOOD AT ALL. AND WHAT WAS THAT BLACK SHIT INSIDE OF IT??? 7. I’m scared what Livvy’s death is going to do to Julian because the guy has really been slipping down the mental health slope for a while now. not gonna lie, Julian was TERRIFYING in this book. he really doesn’t give a shit about anyone that isn’t Emma or family. also the red flag for me was when him and Emma were arguing and he smashed that glass, like that is not a good way to take out your anger, but I mean Emma immediately puts a hole in the wall so they’re both not the best examples for how to act in a healthy relationship. also, despite what he told Emma, he seems to be absolutely fine with breaking every other parabatai bond just to be with Emma. listen I love Julian but he seems to be slipping a lil into antagonist territory. 8. Not that Emma wasn’t cutthroat either. she didn’t even consider mercy when it came to Annabel, she was gonna slice right through her, u know until the unseelie king spirited her away. 9. Kit and Ty were adorable. also has it been confirmed that they’re the Wicked Power protagonists? because if not I’m p sure they are. 10. I was so happy to be back at the London Institute. I loved all the little tid and tlh hints everywhere (jem and will’s height charts 😭😭😭) um so Bridget is still super alive somehow uuuuhh?? how??? jessamine is a darling brat as usual. love her. also that line where Magnus said they weren’t the first to think to burn down the blackthorn manor?? tlh reference maybe? 11. while Mark/Emma will always hold a place in my heart I really warmed up to Emma/Julian and Mark/Cristina/Kieran. btw I really feel like that’s gonna end in polyamory, I think cc has been wanting to write and actual poly relationship ( I love herongraystairs but I don’t think it technically counts going by only canon) for a while now, and while only Mark/Cristina and Mark/Kieran were introduced in lm, Cristina and Kieran def gotta a lot closer in this book and seemed to have a lot of romantic tension. anyway new ot3. 12. if u know anything about me u know I’M A SLUT FOR JEM AND TESSA. anytime they were mentioned I started breathing heavy. still sad they didn’t actually appear in this one, but it seems set up for them to appear in the final one speaking of… 13. listen I love Magnus and I want no harm to come to him but TESSA IS SICK I CANT DEAL WITH THIS. LIKE CAN HER AND JEM JUST BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY WITHOUT SOME INCURABLE ILLNESS HANGING OVER THEM. and like what other warlocks have been affected??? IS CATARINA OKAY? 14. y'all that guy with green skin has gotta be ragnor there is not doubt in my mind. cc has always regretted killing him and I’ve been waiting for this tree colored man to return for a while now. I want to know why he’s in hiding tho and he like bolted when Magnus showed up on the scene. 15. EY YO FUCK THE COHORT AND FUCK ZARA. at first I thought they were a little too cartoony of villains, like there was no complexity to them, they just seem like straight up douche nozzles all the time, but then I remembered that they’re based off real issues right now and people really do think like this sooo. but like Zara is absolutely the worst, how dare and her awful buddies talk shit to my children. everytime anything came out of her mouth I was like-LETS GO. OUTISDE. RIGHT NOW. TRIAL BY COMBAT, YOU LYING SNAKE. 16. I really loved the seelie and unseelie courts and their differences. like I agree cc is a little long winded, but her writing has greatly improved since CoB and it really showed in this one for me. I like the unseelie king and I hope we get to see more of him in the next book, and maybe more of Kieran’s brothers, wouldn’t want to let all those cute faerie boys go to waste. 17. as much as I hate to say it, I’m p sure that the seelie court member that was stolen by the unseelie was Sebastian’s and the seelie queen’s kid. LIKE I HOPE IM SO WRONG AND THAT THAT FUCKING KID DOESNT EXIST BUT ALL SIGNS SEEM TO BE POINTING TO HELL CHILD. 18. speaking of Sebastian, the way cc was talking about him before los came out, I was really expecting something big about him to happen, like his ghost (or demon seed ugh) he was barely even mentioned except closer to the end there. 19. oh yeah I can’t believe Clary’s dead???? like I’ve never been a big fan of clary or jace but the way she talked about like she’s already accepted it killed me. like if this happens it’s going to ruin jace. 20. I’ve become very endeared to Dru throughout los, I think she’s my fav blackthorn besides Julian. she’s chubby which is fucking GREAT and tho the whole pretend I’m not 13 thing with Jaime made me a lil uncomfy, he didn’t really flirt with her or anything and their friendship was really cute. it seems to me cc is setting her up with that Ash kid that appeared for 2 seconds. YO @emmascxrstairs JUST ROCKED MY WHOLE WORLD AND SAID THAT ASH IS THE DEMON SPAWN AND IM MAD BECAUSE OF COURSE HE IS LMAO FLEW RIGHT PAST ME. 21. that’s one thing that kills me with cc books, is that other than the main romances it’s usually super easy to tell who ends with who, and that she feels the need to pair EVERYONE OFF. lmao I was actually wondering why a love interest hadn’t been introduced for Livvy yet (Kit doesn’t count cause after that first kiss, it was real obvs him and ty were gonna be the thing) and then she died and I was like…oh…that’s why. 22. like many predicted, Diana is trans and im crying she’s amazing. her and Gwyn caught me off guard but I’m not gonna lie, they’re really cute. 23. also omg I just thought with livvy dying, what if Julian blames it on himself and the parabatai curse kill me. 24.so yeah all in all 👌👌👌 very good would recommend. now time to get fucking pumped for the last hours