#and an extremely rough draft of day 2

[painonthebrain]

DAY #1: SANTA CLAUS

Claustrophobia | Forced celebration | Panic attack

Fandom: Original work/OCs

CWs: Captivity, nonbinary whumper, demon whumper, masc whumpee, angel whumpee, nonbinary whumpee (mentioned), restraints, humiliation, alcohol use/drinking, forced drinking, choking, beating (past), neck whump/gore (past)

@amonthofwhump

Hearing footsteps, Oath looks up, his face dark. His body is tense, forced to kneel, chains holding him down — pinning his wrists and ankles to the ground, with a slimmer chain around his neck keeping him from holding his head up. His muscles burn with the strain of holding the position. His wings are secured, bound together with tough leather, cramping and twitching, the tightness of the bonds creating a horrible ache that spreads from the limbs to his back.

There’s a spell circle keeping him from escaping too — but it has no use, because he has no way out of the restraints anyway.

The rest of his surroundings serve no further purpose than to humiliate and break him down. Blank concrete walls littered with cracks on every side box him in, still leaving too much space that he can’t occupy because he’s tethered to the floor. He’s cataloged every detail of this place, and still he hasn’t been able to leave. Now the only thing worth paying attention to is the person walking into the room, waiting for whatever cruelty they have in store for him now.

As Oath turns his eyes upward to see who it is, he sneers. The approaching figure is tall, imposing, with long curly hair tied back in a low pony — messy and wild otherwise. They carry themselves with a confidence like what Oath once had long ago, lips curved into a toothy smile, canines sharp like shattered glass. Their face is dotted with dark red markings, as if they gored someone only moments before, the deep black of their eyes reflecting back death and untimely demise.

It’s Marrow.

A demon, a beast of hellfire. Someone who thinks they can tame Oath, turn him into a trained animal, rip apart his spirit and turn him into something he’s not. Like it’s simple.

Oath’s eyes narrow.

He should be in its place.

He doesn't speak, merely eyeing the demon suspiciously as he bites his tongue. And despite refusing to speak, his gaze communicates his inner thoughts perfectly.

What do you want, scum. Going to beat me again?

The marks from that have already healed anyway.

Marrow stands, regarding him thoughtfully. Or at least appearing to.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” it teases.

“Shut up.” Oath scoffs.

Marrow goes silent for a moment, then smiles. “You know, that pretty little mouth of yours would look so much better without a tongue. I’d have half a mind to chop it off if that little halo around your neck didn’t do that wonderful thing where it stabs you!”

Oath jerks a hand against his restraints, trying to bring it to his throat. The halo around it does exactly what Marrow describes. It punishes liars for their dishonesty.

Oath has tiny little scars in a ring around his neck.

…

He’s been lying a lot recently.

He says nothing more. He’d rather not test Marrow. After all, he’s not the important one here. That’s Starling.

“Oh, don’t worry!” They wave their hands, brushing off the threat like it’s a silly joke. “You won’t be punished for that. I’m here to celebrate, after all.”

“… Celebrate what.” Oath says, his voice flat. He can’t imagine anything Marrow would celebrate is worth celebrating at all.

“Oh, you don't know?”

Oath shakes his head, regretting it when he hears it crack. No, he doesn't.

“I’m going to let you go!”

Oath stares. “Really?” Yeah, right. They still haven’t finished questioning him. The irritated pinpricks around his neck are evidence of that.

Yet for a brief moment, he indulges in the fantasy that his captor might actually let him go free. Albeit probably without his charge, but the cost of freedom is great sometimes. It would be worth it — besides, he could come back later to save Starling. Just to save his reputation. Just to save his job. Nothing more.

“That’s… that's—” That’s unbelievable, when did Marrow ever express any sympathy or care for him? Who is he trying to fool?

Marrow’s expression doesn’t look right, and Oath knows they don’t mean it.

“You're lying.”

“Oh no, I’m not! You’ll never see this place again, I promise.”

“Sure.” His voice is laced with sarcasm. He doesn’t have time for this bullshit. There’s two options: let him go or don’t. Simple.

Just pick one already.

Marrow grins. “Come now —” it tips Oath’s chin up to look at it, bending his neck backwards; Oath bites back a groan, knowing he isn’t truly able to stretch it that far, not without the chain around his neck — “that’s no way to act during a celebration! Loosen up!”

Marrow pulls out a flask from its pocket. “Here,” it holds the container out to Oath. “Drink.”

“Oh-“ He stares at it. “No… no thanks.” It has to be a trick. Besides, how does Marrow even want him to drink it? With them holding the flask for him? Heat rises to Oath’s cheeks. The idea is humiliating.

“I insist!” Marrow smiles, all teeth, and Oath shrinks back, as much as he can while immobilized by the chains.

“No, I don’t —”

“You don’t what?” Marrow growls. “You don’t want to? I don’t think you have a say in that.”

Marrow unscrews the cap and presses the lip of the flask to Oath’s, holding his jaw tightly, tipping the container back. “I. Said. Drink.”

The liquid spills down Oaths' chin and he chokes, sputtering as the bitter liquid floods his throat, almost too fast for him to swallow.

Marrow takes the flask away before it’s emptied, leaving Oath to hack and wheeze, spit and whiskey dripping down his chin. Gasping in fresh air and hacking, he doubles over with every cough. The taste of it coats his tongue and throat, hand in hand with searing pain.

“Was that good?”

Oath stifles another cough.

“W-wonderful.” He doesn't want any more trouble.

“Then surely you'll want more.”

“No no no —”

Marrow dumps the rest of the flasks contents on Oath. The alcohol drips down his forehead, into his eyes and down his cheeks, and for a minute, Oath is too stunned to speak. His mouth fails to form the words.

His body is so warm, the drink is like lava across his skin, washing him away as it dribbles down his face.

“Aren’t you just drowning in excitement? I know I am! I’ll be rid of you and someone else will have to deal with your bullshit.

“Someone stupid enough to sign a contract over you.”

Oath goes rigid.

“I only have so long to whip you into shape, now. So maybe you’d best behave.

“I know you’d hate to spoil all of this for yourself.”

[gojo-enthusiast]

Suguru Geto ~ Bad Day, Don’t Fuckin Speak

*Bad Day at work* MDI, 18+ Only! Suguru usually being loving when you two have sex, has an exceptionally challenging day, as he finds out Satoru deleted all of the contract agreements for an account Suguru was supposed to have signed today.

Psa: rough sex, degrading, calling names, P in V, unprotected sex, blowjob, biting, pinching, ass slapping. Fluff at the end okay okay

Word Count: <1750+

No proofread! Like, reblog! Follow me on X (Twitter) 🫶🏻

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suguru was always loving when it came to sex. He was always gentle, and patient. Knowing it always took you a little bit longer to adjust, especially to his size. Suguru the very loving husband of yours, always listening to you about your day, and cuddling up to you on the couch. Watching some tv show he would never pick for himself. But he knows how much you like it, so he didn’t really care.

You had texted him asking him what he wanted for dinner, not getting a response. Suguru was always good about responding, you had even seen that he read it, so why didn’t he respond? You just figured maybe he was just a little busy. Well a little busy was an understatement, he was extremely, ungodly busy. Satoru his co-founder of a company they built together. Sponsoring new celebrities in campaigns, and dealing with marketing, publicity, things like that. Satoru had by accident trashed the contract for a new model they were signing on, TODAY! Satoru didn’t realize the papers he deleted from his computer, had been the PDF that Suguru sent to Satoru. Of course Suguru could have simply printed it again, but they were in front of the new model as Satoru realized not only did he shred the physical copy, thinking it was the draft, but he deleted the PDF. Suguru had to pretty it up, saying they have been having some unfortunate technical difficulties, as Satoru’s laptop had crashed. And they were waiting on his new one to arrive. Making some bogus excuse that everything was done through Satoru computer. Rescheduling the visit for the following day.

“What the fuck Satoru!” Suguru yells, “You had one fucking job!” Suguru hisses, “man it’s okay, they’ll come tomorrow.” Satoru says, sipping his iced caramel frappe. Suguru knocks it out of his hand, making Satoru finally stand up mad. “HEY! THAT WAS LIKE $7!” Satoru exclaims, “YEAH AND THAT CONTRACT DEAL WAS $3M THAT WE CAN POSSIBLY LOSE BECAUSE OF YOUR INCOMPETENCE! You realize they are modeling for the top designer brand in 2 weeks, if he doesn’t sign that deal, WE GET NOTHING!” Suguru yells.

Moral of the story, Suguru was fucking fuming still. He walks in the door, and you hear him. Perking up, excited to see your lovely husband. You made his favorite food, Zaru soba! “Hey baby!” You say smiling, going up to him for a kiss, he brushes past you, causing a frown on your face. You aren’t used to him being upset, quite frankly you had never seen Geto this mad.

You’ve seen him frustrated but never to the point where he brushed past you. “Hey, Suguru. What’s wrong?” You say walking up to him, as he’s walking down the hall to your shared bedroom. No response. “Suguru.” You say again, getting worried. “Suguru Geto!” You shout. You weren’t one to shout, but he was just not listening. He turns around, and gets close to your face, you can see his face is red as a tomato, and he looks like he’s about to burst.

“Quit fucking calling my name. Can’t you see I want to be left the fuck alone.” He says through gritted teeth. You didn’t know what to say, your eyes start swelling up in tears. Your husband had never spoken to you that way. He turns away, walking into the bedroom, walking into the bathroom slamming the door.

You sit on the edge of the bed, feeling that lump in your throat. He finally gets out the shower, You hear him on the phone, with who you’re guessing is Satoru.

“Quit fucking calling me. You’re the last person I want to speak to. You fucked up my whole day, now I have my wife crying because I’m so angry at you!” He yells, “Oh fuck you Satoru. Suck my cock!” Suguru yells before you hear silence. You’re guessing he hung up. He opens the bathroom door, and the light from the bathroom door is showing Suguru the tears down your cheek. “Su-Suguru.” You whimper, “Y/N, no.” He puts his hand up gesturing he doesn’t want to hear anything. “I want silence. I don’t want to hear anything but my cock in your mouth, and your pussy. Do you understand?” He hisses, walking up to you, gripping your hair to have you look up at him. “Do you understand?” He repeats, you nod. Tears streaming down your face, you had never seen this side of him, so you didn’t know if you should feel horny or scared. Honestly you were a mix of both, feeling your nipples harden.

Suguru takes his towel off, exposing his hard member. Bringing your face down, tapping his swollen tip on your lips, his way of telling you to open the fuck up. You open your mouth, taking in his swollen cock, feeling his hands lace behind your head, into your hair. Throwing his head back, feeling a relief already. “Fuck yes.” He moans, “deeper.” He pushes himself deeper into your mouth, feeling his cock in your throat. Your gagging, drool coming out of your mouth, and tears streaming down. “Suck, you slut.” He hisses, as much as this should be hurting your feelings right now, you were so wet from this. You had always wanted Suguru to sometimes turn off that sweet loving husband, and just fuck you like a whore. You start to squeeze your thighs together, feeling yourself get wet. “Spread your legs.” He demands, watching you spread your legs. “Touch yourself.” He adds. You reach down, pulling your panties to the side, feeling your juices instantly touch your fingers, you start to rub your clit, moaning on his cock, as he thrust it in and out of your mouth. “give me your fingers, the one in your cunt.” He demands, you take them out, lifting your hand up to him, he leans down, still have your face pushed against his cock, he sucks your fingers. “You dirty fucking whore. Wet from sucking my cock. Is this what you want? For your pretty little mouth to get fucked?” He groans, face-fucking you. “Answer me!” He hisses, you nod, as you still have his cock shoved down your throat, feeling yourself about to pass out from the lack of oxygen. Finally he cums, you feeling it going down your throat, he pulls out. And you’re coughing, catching your breath. “Are you fucking crying still?” He asks, you nod no, wiping your tears.

Next thing you knew, he had your panties across the room and your shirt was somewhere. He was biting you all over, leaving love bites all over. Not caring if someone will see it. “Suguru-“ you moan out, “what did I fucking say!?” He slams his fist on the bed, your head right next to where he just slammed, “what did I say!?” He questions angrily, “y-you s-said th-that you-you did-didn’t want to hear-he-hear me sp-speak.” You stutter, “Don’t make me tell you again, do you understand?” He hisses in your ear. You nod.

“Turn over.” He demands, you were taking to long, he flipped you over himself, arching your back for you, putting you in the position he wanted, he wanted to fuck you from behind. you didn’t mind this position, but you loved to see his face, and he loved to watch you cum. But today, he didn’t want to look at you, he wanted to look at your pussy pull him in, and cum around him. He slapped your ass, as your knees got weak, “keep your back arched.” He demands, “yes sir.” You say. You weren’t supposed to speak, but the yes sir was allowed after he heard it. “I’m going to let that one slide, since you sounded so fucking sexy saying that.” He whispers in your ear. You had to control your moan, as you felt him sink into you, he was kissing your g-spot so perfectly. He starts thrusting, not even giving you time to adjust, he leans forward, fondling your titties, pinching your nipple. Causing a yelp come out of your mouth, he leans back, back straight, he slaps your ass hard. “Shut the fuck up.” He says sternly.

You are in pure bliss right now. You are loving every minute of this. Loving every minute of being fucked so stupid. He is thrusting faster and faster, slamming into you, with no remorse. He puts his hand on your clit, and starts to rub it fast, wanting you to experience a high level orgasm as well. Because no matter how angry he is, he would never let you go without being satisfied. He loves you to much to do that to you. At this point you forget the whole no sound rule, you are moaning out, “I’m cumming, I’m cumming” you moan, “fuck. Yes. Cum around this cock.” He grits his teeth. Finally releasing his seed into you. And you cum around his cock. He’s slowing down his pace, he pulls out, flipping you on your back. Inserting his cock back in, rocking his hips back and forth again. Feeling you twitch and hug his cock so perfectly, causing a second orgasm to erupt from you, and a third for him. He watches your face as you cum around his cock, his favorite sight. “You look so beautiful when you cum baby.” He kisses your lips, you kissing him back. “Sugu.” You moan, latching your arms around his neck. “I’m sorry baby, was I too rough?” He asks, kissing your cheek. “Yeah but it felt goood, it’s okay Sugu.” You say kissing him back. “Just, don’t ever ignore my kisses again.” You pout. “I’m sorry baby, I had a terrible day. I needed to fuck out the steam. I should have been gentle.” He says caressing your neck, rubbing the parts he left marks on. “It’s okay baby, I liked it.” You say running your fingers through his hair. “Oh did you?” He smirks, feeling his cock harden up again. All of a sudden he grabs his phone and takes a video of his cock entering into your cunt, and sends it to Satoru saying, “Someone was a victim to your incompetence today. Handle the account tomorrow, I won’t be coming in.” He presses send and throws his phone to the other side of the bed, “I’m gonna fuck you all night princess.” Suguru smirks.

Suguru surely didn’t show up to work, and Satoru did exactly what Suguru told him to. Fearing that when Suguru comes in, he might just beat his ass.

[satorisoup]

★ THE AFTER PARTY

⋆ 6 - PRAISE

2 days had gone by in a flash. alisa had been correct, you were on the schedule today to come in to the studio. with one song brainstormed, but not finalized, you decided it would be good to get the opinions of the members you had met a couple days ago.

now arrived at the building, you pass by the security guard that had once tried to stop you before, who gave you an embarrassed nod of acknowledgement while you made your way to the elevators and up to the door of the studio.

among walking in, your plans seem to be tarnished as there happened to only be 1 of the 4 band members sitting in the room.

kenma, as you distantly remembered, sat hunched in front of the recording board, fingers fiddling with the buttons and switches, head turning towards you when he seemed to hear the door clicked shut. awkwardly shuffling to his side, you stood with your etched papers gripped in your fingers, unsure of what to ask, and what to do.

“um, do you think you could read this over? it’s just an idea, so i need all of the feedback i can get.” you asked, anxiously tapping your thumbs against the work in your hands.

“i can try.” is all he responded, taking the papers from your hands and scanning them over. his complete silence made you feel as though you needed to hold you breath in suspense, unsure of what reaction to expect at all.

“it’s good. im not really a singer so… i can’t give much opinion on the lyrics. but, i could make a beat based on how it’s worded.”

you looked at him with an understanding nod of your head, the breath that you held being exhaled. when you moved to pick up the papers, he spoke up again.

“ask kuroo. he’s the singer. and tell akaashi what vocals he would need to do.”

if you were honest with yourself, being in the room with just one person from the band, the quietest one at that, already made your skin crawl with nerves. however, he seemed to notice how unsure you were of your exact instructions, so you were grateful for his advice.

soon the door handle had raddled, slamming open to reveal the missing three. quick greetings were shared, and unwilling to waste time, you set to do exactly what kenma had told you.

“excuse me, akaashi? and kuroo? i need to talk with you two, if you wouldn’t mind...” you claimed, the two following eachother to where you sat in a chair.

“this is one of the songs i came up with. i didn’t have much time, so if you could, please give me some of your opinions.” you encouraged, handing each of them a paper of your draft.

they both read over the documents while you awkwardly sat straight in your chair waiting for them to finish, hands in your lap and eyes studying their faces to hopefully get any possible indication of what they were thinking. before you could get an idea, one of them finally broke the tension and spoke up.

“it’s extremely organized for being just a rough draft.” akaashi commented.

“oh, well i don’t want you to have to read anything messy…” you replied, eyes avoidant while you twiddled with your hands.

“the fact you were even able to come up with a song in just two days is impressive in itself. this is really good.” kuroo said, hand on his chin with a look of mild surprise evident on his face.

“thank you, but is there anything i should change about it? i don’t want you to perform something you all don’t like…” you questioned.

kuroo hums to himself as he reads over the song once more, “i think… you should stop worrying and be more confident. this piece is great. we’ll get started with it right away, so quit panicking and keep it up, alright?”

it felt more than good to be praised by someone who was loved by thousands. it felt almost too natural slipping out of his mouth, and something at the very bottom of the pit of your stomach craved for more input if it was coming from him. and a part of you started to believe maybe writing songs wouldn’t be too much of a stress if this is what you got in return.

“will do.”

<- PREV ⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆ NEXT ->

★ FUN FACTS

⋆ alisa didn’t fire the security guard. she couldn’t remember if she had told him to put your name down and felt bad about it.

⋆ kenma never had any interest in singing, claiming it would be too tiring to strain your voice that much.

⋆ TAGLIST

if your name is in bold, i can not tag you.

@bontensbabygirl @aichiomei @toomanygoldfish @withlovekiki @strwbrryeyes @lifesucksweswallow @snail-squasher @le000xxgrd @1lovestrawberrymilk

[misstodorokifreelance]

Saw your Boku No Hybrid Academia headcanons and wanted to know if you'd do something for Shinsou and Dabi (if that's possible; if not, just Shinsou).

Hey there Anon! Hybrid Headcanons for Dabi and Shinsou? Well you must have read my mind cause I just thinking about that recently. Both of these gorgeous men are a new territory for me, but I'm super happy you've given me reason to write more of these, so lets get right into some headcanons (I also added Iida and Hawks cause they were in my drafts.) And cause I keep forgetting, if you havent checked out the rest of my lil blog here's the link for you all; https://misstodorokifreelance.tumblr.com/

BNHA HYBRID HEAD-CANONS PART 2

TW: Non/con, definitely a little smutty when mentioning ruts and stuff along those lines, oral, mentions of choking, degradation, breeding kink, and all my stuff is 18+.

DABI

🔹Hybrid: Leopard (or another big wild cat)

General Headcanons:

🔹 Dabi is touch starved to the extreme, and quite often doesnt exactly know how to handle it, coming off as a hissing, biting yet oh so regal person. He knows he's handsome, but nobody who has ever touched him has been kind, so it'll take a while for him to get used to it. 🔹 Once he's gotten used to your touch, you best believe he'll find excuses to be near you. He'll be stalking up to you like a predator and gently closing in on you until you have no choice but to give him attention and affection, and you best believe the entire time he'll be acting like you're just doing his bidding but definitely secretly like it. 🔹 He loves lounging around watching you work about the house or do whatever it is you do. He surveys everything, smugly content that in this house he's the king. 🔹 He's VERY proud of his tail, and often carries it over one arm as if it's an accessory and not his actual tail with an air of smugness. 🔹Secretly he also LOVES and I mean LOOOOOVES you washing his hair. He'll lounge back in a bath against you, purring ever so slightly as he feels for nails against his scalp while you lather and rinse his wild hair. It`s the only time he seems actually relaxed. 🔹 Dabi is super super protective of you, to the point he just kinda hates other hybrids and other humans that come near you. After enough times of you telling him not to be so aggressive, he instead will get a wicked expression on his face and push you into the bedroom as soon as any guests are gone. Whether that's just him holding you as tightly in his arms (plus his tail wrapped around you) as he can, or him going straight for wanting to claim you and put you in your place really depends on the mood he's in that day. 🔹 He's very rough in showing any affection back to you, and he has a hard time not wording everything as if he owns you. Cause that's how it feels to him; he owns you now. He'll have you backed against a wall with his teeth at your neck, or a hand ready to choke you in a moment. 🔹 He has pet names for you, when you're good, but mostly even in casual conversation with him it's a little degrading; everything from 'Little Mouse' to 'Darling' will all have a tone that makes it sound like he's above you.

🔹 He would slaughter anyone who even looked at you funny, he doesn`t care. He's even more protective of you when you're in public with him, and he will definitely spoil you rotten in front of every passer by. 🔹 Some of leopard Dabi's favourite things include; Luxurious couches to lounge on, getting his hair washed, lazy nights, leather clothes (on both him and you 😉). Spicy Head-canons 🌶🌶🌶:

🔹 Oh boy oh BOY, you do not want to be near Dabi when he's in a rut. From day one he'll be almost feral, and he wont take no for an answer, grabbing you and dragging you to the nearest soft surface so he can rut against you till you're a sobbing, sloppy mess for him. 🔹 He doesn't care what you have to do that day or where you have to be, he's going to have you on your back or on your knees and he's going to be rough and feral with you until he's claimed you over and over and over. He loves seeing you filled up, it makes him feel so smugly proud of himself. 🔹 His degradation will be at maximum here, roughly slamming against you as hard as he can and purring out little praises here and there but mostly it's all degrading. He likes it when you cry, or beg him, and he goes rougher when you do it makes him even hornier. 🔹 He's finishing inside you everytime, you better be ready for that. He's a Todoroki after all, the breeding kink is right at the forefront of his mind and he's getting you full and him milked dry at every opportunity.

HITOSHI SHINSO

🔸Hybrid: Cat

General Headcanons:

🔸 Hitoshi is a pretty laid back, if antisocial hybrid. He'd much rather just nap in your company, but he definitely appreciates his own space too. 🔸 He's very grateful whenever you bring him new blankets or cushions, setting them up wherever looks like a good place to take a quick nap, and quite often if you're not busy he may ask if you'll play with his hair while he sleeps. 🔸 Hitoshi actually quite likes helping with little chores around the house, especially sweeping or putting away groceries. It makes him feel productive, and he'll stand there quietly hoping you'll give him some affection for all the work he did just for you.

🔸 Not a massive fan of other hybrids, he at least tolerates some of them, though its from a distance. He'd prefer to not have to talk much, leaving his more conversational side for when he's with you and there's a bad reality or game show on TV you both can both judge heavily.

🔸 At night though, if you're going to bed he's going to be at your side no matter how he feels. He can't help but feel much more lonely at night, and he needs your warmth to remind him that he's got someone who loves him right there next to him. 🔸 He hates how running water feels on him, so he'll jump in a bath but he's avoiding the shower at all costs, but perhaps if you can convince him with many many MANY cuddles afterwards he'll at least sit with you while you shower and converse sleepily, and maybe dampen his hair under the splashes.

🔸 He`s luckily not a very picky eater, but he prefers to eat alone most nights, but he'll eat fast so as not to be away from you that long.

Spicy Head-canons 🌶🌶🌶:

🔸 Shinso in a rut isnt that much different than normal. He'd rather sleep through it than force you to humour his needs. He definitely feels it though, a sort of desperation to be touched, but he has a hard time explaining that so just tries to sleep. 🔸 Its a very different when he actually goes to sleep however, he's restless, tossing and turning and making quiet yowls until finally when you go to help him he wakes up, grateful for the touch and the relief. 🔸 He's rather be serviced than anything else, and likes watching you ride him in particular. He's also very into oral, it's probably one of his favourite ways to handle his ruts and he won't feel like he isn't both too restless, and too sleepy to return the favour. 🔸 One the few particularly rough days of his rut he's more awake, prowling around and just wanting to feel you against him. On these days, he has the energy to not only reciprocate but dominate you in his own way, probably wanting to be behind you and feel you on your knees backing into him. 🔸The days you aren`t there during his rut are a nightmare for him, and he'll be going around your things, especially clothes, underwear or pillows searching for where your scent is strongest and rub himself against it in a desperate attempt to relieve himself. Turns out he really does need to you to help him out, he can't exactly handle not having that as an outlet.

TENYA IIDA

🔹 Hybrid: Snake (some sorta python probably, that makes the most sense to me at least)

General Head-canons: 🔹 Tenya is the epitome of traditional and mature, always one to open the door for you, but he's not big on PDA, unless it's the odd hand holding. 🔹 You wouldn't know he's a hybrid unless you saw him without a shirt on, and he's insecure about that at the best of times, worried the scales down his back and neck are unattractive. Whenever you tell him he's handsome, he'll blush profusely and shower you in compliments of your own. 🔹 He has an uncanny ability to slip into impossible spaces (snakey boi be like.) 🔹 Tenya's calm and quiet on his own, and loves nothing more than studying quietly with you in the library or in his room with some classical music playing in the background. If it's raining even better, cause its the only time he'll pull his shirt off and let you watch the rain drip from his iridescent scales. 🔹 He likes things orderly and neat, including his own person. He'll shudder if he accidentally hisses when lecturing the more boisterous students, so be prepared to give him a tight hug when you next get a moment with him! 🔹 He keeps his bed more like a nest, curling up with cushions and blankets, all meticulously picked out, and he'll enthusiastically show it to you, wanting to hear your opinions and making any adjustments you feel are necessary. Don`t worry about thinking he needs approval, he just wants an excuse to hear your voice for a few moments more. 🔹 You're not just his Princess, his Star...you're his equal in everything. He wants you and everyone else to know that, so if anybody treats you wrong or makes fun of you they better watch out cause Tenya won't go easy on them. In fact, he'll get a bit worked up about it and won't even care if he's hissing or his irises become slits. Nobody can say shit about you and get away with it in front of Tenya. 🔹 Some of Snake Tenya's favourite things; classical music, rainy mornings, a little plushie snake Deku gave him, trips to the market or temples when he's feeling particularly traditional.

Spicy Head-canons 🌶🌶🌶:

🔹 Tenya doesn't enjoy being in a rut at all. It feels debaucherous, and he can't stand you feeling like you have to indulge him. Especially being what he is, he could get too in the mood and want to constrict you. 🔹 When he's really in the mood he won't be able to sit still, he'll be on edge, leaning up against you, wanting to twist his body around you and get his hands around your waist. He'll pull you against his body, kiss your neck and whisper sweet nothings to you.

🔹 Surprisingly, Tenya would be up to switching, he doesn't necessarily want to be dominant, merely charming. He wants you to make the first moves, to touch him where only he and you can bond as one. It's like a ritual, proof of his devotion to your well being. He also is up to try new things, provided you explain it to him first and he's sure you won't be in any negative pain. 🔹 First few days of spring, when his rut gets so bad he can't even focus in class is when he finally gives up, and is writhing and tense and unable to contain how badly he NEEDS it. Needs you. He'll steal you away for a day, try to be as gentle as he can. Want to share a bath first? Want to cuddle in his nest? He'll try not to seems as desperate as he is, but once it starts be prepared for HOURS cause he's still a master of self control....in that way. It'll be long and hella hypnotic!

KEIGO TAKAMI (Hawks)

🔸 Hybrid: Hawk (duh)

General Head-canons: 🔸 Hawks likes wearing baggy clothes when he's with you, whether or not you're taller or shorter than him it's all the same. He has hidden platforms in his boots, and whenever you're out with him he'll be fluffing up his wings to appear as big as he can.

🔸He's just naturally good with people, and they're drawn to his casual laid back nature (also the fact he gets everyone hot under the collar), but he needs a recharge every once in a while. At the end of the day all he wants is to cuddle up with you and wrap his wing around you so he can keep you safe. Maybe he'll get out a bottle of wine to share as well. 🔸 Usually such a smooth talker, he'd be surprise you have him flustered. From the first stutter, you'd have him obsessed, and he'd be perching on a rooftop if you were going out somewhere new just to make sure you're safe. If anything goes down he'll take care of it and then leave you too it, unless you want him to hang around of course. 🔸 He's gonna show you off! PDA? Yeah and? He doesn't care, you're his baby bird and the whole world is gonna know it! Kisses on the cheek, nose, forehead, lips. Holding your hand or waist in front of the swooning fans gives him a little rush every time you blush cause of it. 🔸 Unless you can fly, he'll take great pride in lifting you into the heavens so you can see the world how he does. It's almost as beautiful as you from up here.

🔸He's not all laidback and chill though. If he's in the mood then you'll know about it within minutes. He's more than up for games of cat and mouse (bird and mouse?), happy to chase you down with a hungry grin on his face before scooping you into the bedroom.

🔸He's a bit restless, flapping his wings or whistling little tunes whenever it gets too silent, hoping to catch your attention. Either you'll come over at cuddle him or start humming and he'll join in. He LOVES singing with you, if that's your thing. 🔸Some of Birdy Bois fave things include; sunset flying, baggy clothes, ironically watching bad dating shows, over the top public flirting with you.

Spicy Head-canons 🌶🌶🌶: 🔸 Hawks is a dom, and not just that but he's game to get out some handcuffs or other toys to play with. You'll be tied up with your legs wide and he'll be proud parading in front of you before stalking up to give you all his love. 🔸 He's very vocal, especially if he's in a rut. The odd chirp of pleasure here and there, but mostly just really really loud moaning to the point you better hope the neighbours aren't home! 🔸 Don't feel bad if he IS in a rut, because you're so gorgeous he could just get off to you standing in front of him in pretty red lingerie. Red gets him even more turned on, its his fave colour on you. He'll be open and honest about what he needs, and he'll sweep you off your feet and shower you in affection.

🔸

[project-doomsday]

DD Progress/Updates 21

Hello everyone!!! It’s me EMatooney back at it again with mooooooorreeeee stuff!! Happy 4th of July!! 🎆🎇 Even tho it isn’t right now at the time of posting this but eh close enough!!

Besides all that I have an extremely wonderful, WONDERFUL news!

Introducing my newest team member @edgy-artkid!!!

I cannot express how happy this makes me to have a member working on this project!! Since the beginning this dude has always supported me and I will always always be thankful for that!! I am touched from the bottom of my heart!!! 🥹🥹🥹 Thank you so much @edgy-artkid and welcome to the team!!! Make sure you support him!!

Edgy and I will start working together after I have already released pages 13 - 16. I’ll be in charge of the rough drafts and line art while Edgy will be in charge of the coloring. After that, I’ll top it all off with the rendering!!!

Speaking of pages, progress is slow but definitely steady! Dib is halfway colored in now! After that I’ll begin the background art. I’m sure now that I have a new member things will definitely go much more smoothly! I’m so excited!!! Watch us fly, mama!!!! 🤣🤣

Anyways, I know I just said this but I’m truly grateful to have someone work with me. If you spoke to me 2 years ago that I’ll be getting popular AND getting a team member I would’ve thought you were crazy!! And now look, just look at how far I’ve come!! I know this might be silly but to me? This means everything. I’ve had dreams about this and it’s finally come true. I must be the happiest person on earth right now.

This is why you must never give up on your dreams. If you fight and continue doing the things you love and put a lot of effort into it it’s guaranteed to come true! It may take a long time, it may take a day! But it will come as long as you have faith in yourself and the pride that you have for the things you love. I promise.

Thank you all again for sticking with me! Let’s give a huge applause for @edgy-artkid!!!

With all my love,

- EMatooney ❤️❤️❤️

[littlest-bugz]

Relapsing is a part of healing

[one systems perspective on relapsing during Resolution/late stage DID recovery.]

This post has been cooking in my drafts for a while, but since I'm back in a headspace where I would consider myself back in Resolution, I'm comfortable talking about this. I'm airing out my dirty laundry quite a bit in this post, but the reason I'm making this post is because of the fact I don't see many late stage recovery systems talk about relapsing back into dissociation and other CDD symptoms. I'm here to say it's totally okay and a part of healing. I don't know who needs to hear that, but I definitely did. I didn't hear it until i was in therapy.

A couple of months ago [when I was initially writing this post], I went through a series of traumatic events, including little over 3 weeks of reoccurring flashbacks due to a re-traumatizing situation. I have lovingly dubbed it 'the three weeks of hell'. There was more than just that, including 2 explosive breakdowns, where I just couldn't handle all the input I was getting with what all was going on. I was a whole wreck for a moment there, that's for sure. THANKFULLY, we only split off a one new alter after everything, which is healing progress, but it meant an increase in blackout amnesia in our day to day life, let alone the dissociation it was causing the system as a whole, nearly putting us back at step one of recovery.

The moment I noticed the blackout amnesia and increase in DID symptoms, I started thinking I had ruined any progress I could've possibly made. It felt like I had taken ten steps forward and then tumbled down the stairs. I never got to process the trauma as it just began to pile on, and eventually I popped in probably the worst explosive breakdown I've EVER had- my fight or flight kicked in and for gods know what reason, my brain chose fight. But that breakdown had solidified that 'fuck, I'm getting worse again' mentality I had going on. Everyone I knew seemed to 'keep it together' during rough times, so why couldn't I?

So that brought me to this post.

I wondered why I don't see talk of relapse in Late Stage Recovery spaces, let alone general CDD spaces. I figure, in my mind, that it's because it just isn't talked about. At least, not frequently. In the space I have curated for myself, I see a lot of fellow late stage recovery systems and finally fused systems, but everyone seems to not have relapsed at any point. Granted, this is the internet, and people show what they want others to see, but I felt ashamed for a good while that I had relapsed back into the amnesiac aspects of my dissociation. I didn't feel like I could call the stage of healing I am in 'late stage recovery'. But that's just. not true. I still am. My healing is ongoing, and I was able to resolve it.

In recovery for many disorders, relapses are, inherently, a part of the process of healing. Symptoms resurfacing is, to some extent, part of healing. Everyone is bound to have slip ups and rough times, and if your go to coping mechanism is dissociation [in CDDs cases], it's possible that you might slip back into those maladaptive mechanisms due to the stress of life happenings, but that's okay. What is needed is to learn the proper coping skills to deal with that stress, but it can be extremely hard to unlearn maladaptive coping skills and make turning towards healthy ones a default. Relapsing gives you the time to reinforce and build up what skills you do have.

When the three weeks of hell was occurring, I didn't exactly have the coping skills necessary to keep on with life, and any I did have, they were not 'automatic' enough. On top of that, my therapist was conveniently out of office for those three weeks. It did give me the time to make my skills stronger. Of course, I felt terrible about it but Relapsing is okay. As long as you learn how to deal with the stress and trauma, that's what matters. I'm still learning how to properly cope with everything that happened during those weeks, to be blunt, but I have gained a grasp on Resolution pretty quickly afterwards. I don't think it would've been possible to recover so easily had I not been in late stage recovery, and like I said before, it helped reinforce my coping skill box, making them stronger and much easier to recall. I definitely would say that relapsing was a part of my healing. Didn't feel good, but it became a huge factor in how we cope day to day.

TLDR; Relapsing during Resolution [Functional Multiplicity/Final fusion] is a part of recovery itself.

[puck-luck]

I’m not hating on YOU. Just on how slow and rude the characters are being made out to be. Honey should stop being so rude to Trevor, give him some credit for putting up with her attitude. Bea is genuinely for the streets. Again not hating on YOU because I like your writing style plus reading your other works i really like. I get I don’t have to read it if I don’t like it but I’ve waited and gave it time for stuff to start picking up.

I appreciate that you're not hating on me because you enjoy my writing style. That's always nice to hear. I'm glad you've read my stuff and even tried to stick it out for STG.

I want to reply to your concerns, so I typed up a couple of bullet points in my notes app. In a very in-character moment for me, it became lengthy. I'm hiding it under this Read More so that no one has to see it if they don't want to. Tbh, that includes you— and I don't mean that in a mean way, even if it might come off like that. It's hard to convey feeling through words on a page, which brings me to my first point:

1. A lot of Honey's attitude is written as means for banter, since Trevor knows that she doesn't mean it in such a negative way— he's aware that she's deflecting. Maybe I need to make that clearer and now I know, which means I can try and work on that! Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

2. Honey has trauma, which I've started to explain in the story. It's going to be fleshed out more and she WILL work through it, but the girl has some pretty complex PTSD when it comes to relationships. That's the reason why she's so hot and cold with Trevor. She knows what she's feeling, but she's not ready to accept it yet.

3. In Chapter 5, the most recent chapter, Honey admits to Trevor that she's the difficult one. She's well aware that she's having trouble with this new relationship and that manifests in her attitude towards Trevor. He says he doesn't mind (basically) and she just hums BECAUSE it bothers her that she's being hard to deal with, and yet she can't stop herself. Again— it's her complex PTSD.

HERE is a screenshot of my Google doc so you can read the scene itself:

4. Fair. Bea is for the streets. Yet, at the same time, I don't see the real issue behind this: everyone involved is a consenting adult that is fully aware of the situation. Everyone knows that Bea is hooking up with the guys in the house. If the guys didn't want to hook up with her, they wouldn't— like how Luke turns her down in this most recent chapter. She's also a girl in her 20s... I know a lot of girls in college that made goals to sleep with entire exec boards of frats or collect each frat president or, in an extreme case, a girl that wanted to hook up with every brother in our pledge class, the pledge class above us, and the pledge class below us. If the girl wants to be a slut, then she can be a slut. & that's how I'm writing her. More power to her. Things might even change for Bea over time, like how real relationships go...

5. As for the slowness: I know that my chapters have gotten super long. I keep getting carried away and writing more than I mean to. It's because I like this project and the characters I've created. BUT, each section is a day. Each chapter is a week. Honey and Trevor have known each other for just over a month and I PERSONALLY am not the kind to hook up with a guy I've just met. Yes, at times it seems long and I know that it drags at times because I can feel it dragging while I write— but I am trying to make this as realistic and detailed as possible. Between the whipped cream scene and the blowjob scene, 10 days passed. That's SUCH a short amount of time, especially since the pair didn't see each other as much that week. Honey works, Trevor trains, and a lot of that is off screen because I think it's boring to write when this is a ROMANCE.

6. If I had an editor, they could probably help me cut this shit down and make it drag less. I DON'T have an editor though and this is a very detailed rough draft of a story that would probably change a LOT before publishing IF I WERE TO GET IT PUBLISHED.

7. I apologize that you have waited and hoped for quicker advancement in Honey and Trevor's story. To me, it's not a fast story. It's going to pick up... on my outline I have Trevor and Honey hooking up 3 times next week. You're welcome to hang in there for that if you want to. It's up to you.

And finally... I apologize that my explanation was so long. And probably slow. I just want to be thorough with your concerns. If you choose not to read anymore of STG, then good for you. I'll still be churning out oneshots when I can and I hope you like those more.

I really do appreciate the feedback. I hope this response didn't seem rude because I'm not trying to be. It's also 2:30am for me so I really should go to bed before I ACTUALLY get my feelings hurt or start lashing out... which I've been known to do when tired. So. Goodnight Anon. Thanks for not hating on ME and I hope my explanations were good enough for you.

[avissapiens]

Jockbull Summer Week 4 Set C (3/12/23-10/12/23)

Model used is Onome Egger

1.

I have continued the trend of fasting+cardio day. It’s actually not that bad. What was bad was the decision to bake while fasting. It’s not that I wanted the food. I don’t eat most of what I bake. But I couldn’t realistically test things too much to make sure they came out well. Luckily they were quite good the next day. Only half of one. It’s still cutting season.

2.

I got two in again! The first one was just kind of a general muscle flash. Brain producing lovely images for myself. Who needs AI when your head is already so full of muscle.

The second one however was a deeper introspection done together with Abg. We’re both POC but in many senses we are atypical. And yet still the presence of stereotypes still kind of gets in the way of both of our minds, and in particular our muscular journeys. We are both dead-set on breaking stereotypes and still coming out on top, so that was the seed for this meditation. There’s a lot of stereotypes for Black folks. And I know they are nonsense because not only do I not embody them, but most of my friends, relatives, peers etc from back home don’t either. But every time that one encounters a situation where you do meet that stereotype in yourself or in others, you pause for a second. Because especially while living in a mostly white country, you become extremely aware of the fact that everything you do is a form of ambassadorship for anyone who looks like you and visa versa. Which is a shitty burden to bear. Even after coming from a background of Black excellence in the Caribbean, there’s still so many stereotypes that come to mind. The perception of black people being unattractive, or if we are, it can only be in a brutish, animalistic, unrefined non-aesthetic way that doesn’t adhere to societal norms.

The mental stereotypes of underperformance and stupidity. The lack of ambition.

So many stereotypes are strangely contradictory too

That we're just needlessly loud and confrontational all the time but still get portrayed as servile slaves.

That we can only be good at sports but still deserve to be excluded from them. That we can't perform well at anything else. The strange juxtaposition of the athletic achievement that many POC are forced into because they lack the resources to pursue other interests and the idea that Ethnic food is unhealthy, dirty. And the very real reality of unequal access and outcomes for healthcare. The idea, often reinforced within the community, that we do not belong in certain places. In certain professions. In nature, in the world at large. That we should remain forever in this conservative slave mentality while we exist in the west.

Frankly, I see muscle and hypnosis as ways of outgrowing and defeating these stereotypes. Of changing perceptions not only for me but for my community. Perception is everything because it means that those who come after can see something different for themselves.

3.

Anyway on a lighter note. Yup, we’ve entered an edging period. It always feels so fucking good after a full week of building that erotic energy. It takes you to new and darker places and makes you vulnerable to things you might not have been before. Sometimes thats good. Sometimes its dangerous. But even that danger comes with a certain appeal.

4.

Its been a rough and busy week working on the first comm. I have some ideas brainstormed with Jockrs for an avis abstraction, it’s just always a whole different story putting pen to paper. Wish me better luck for the next week.

5.

So this one’s been interesting. It’s less been a process of drafting and then sticking. More a progressive building of momentum. Incorporating more and more things until the morning and myself feels more whole. I’ve ordered a bunch of supplements to take. A bunch of skincare stuff to harden my routine. I’ve expanded my already existing routine and even incorporated some new concepts from the world of Looksmaxxing. Truthfully, there is this deep desire in me to grow so much more in so many dimensions.And the himbo programming has definitely made one of those dimensions my aesthetics. Not for anyone else’s pleasure but for my own. I already know i’m gorgeous to other people. I want to be brilliant for myself and to be able to use that element of me like a tool and a weapon.

[frostedpuffs]

What's your process for writing a fic?

generally kind of in this order

get sudden fic idea

hastily write it down on my giant idea document

if i daydream about the fic idea frequently enough to know i want to write it someday, i flesh it out on a separate document, adding details/ideas

then I'll loosely plan the fic. basically i just need to know my beginning and end. I'll fill in the middle later

let the idea sit on the back burner for a long time until im confident enough to write it

depending on the fic, I'll either plan it in detail (sewing sentiments) or wing it until i get a decent enough storyline going and then plan the rest later (perfectly platonic unless. i didn't actually have an ending planned until like a month ago)

then I'll write the first chapter. generally i tend to write my chapters in order, but not always. with sewing sentiments, i wrote them all in order. with ppu, i wrote extremely sporadically. i just wrote chapters without a number in mind and found spots to fit them in later. like the first chapter i wrote for the story was chapter TWENTY TWO lmfao

i used to just publish my fic chapters right when they were done without having a buffer, but now i let them sit for a while. i like to go back and edit them myself since i rarely use a beta. I'll usually reread a chapter and edit 2-3 times before it's ready. then, the day i decide to post, i give it one last reread to make sure it's okay 👍🏻

i dont really have much of a process when it comes to writing fic except for just throwing some ideas on a page and trying to include them. for ppu all i had to go off of was a document full of bullet points of ideas i wanted to incorporate. for most of my fics, i kind of just jot ideas down and find somewhere to put them. if it's a more serious scene/chapter/story, then I'll write out a really detailed plan of how i want things to go. it's like an extremely rough draft

for example here was my plan document for chapters 1-24 of ppu. IT'S REALLY NOT THAT DETAILED

thank you for the ask :>

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

There have only been a handful of times in my 7-year teaching career that a student made me so instantaneously Furious that I honestly thought I was going to lose control and either say or do something I would regret. The first time was 4 years ago.

I told a fifth grade boy to sit down and he looked me right in the eye and with a snide voice said

"OK, BOOMER!"

The other two times were today. For the last two weeks we have been building up to what I'm hoping is going to be a giant mural over native americans. We first learned about the Native American tribes in Texas. Over the course of 2 days I showed them videos of murals in cities like New York and Philadelphia so they could see what really great murals look like. I explained that whatever they had to draw had to be large. This week we introduced the research component. We gave them a brochure to fill out about their tribe where they had to answer all kinds of questions and draw pictures. Today was the second day of that and as I was giving them more pointers about Google I pulled up art from each of the tribes.

I reminded them that when they were done researching they could start planning a rough draft of their mural on a page of blank white paper and then transfer that over into a giant piece of paper.

The first thing I heard when I told themm this today was

"What's a mural?"

As they researched today I pulled up some recent pow wows on YouTube and played them. I heard several kids be extremely surprised because they thought Indians were make believe or something. They kept saying "oh wow I didn't realize they were real!" " those are real people there ?" "I didn't know they still existed!" "where are they at?"

So then a few kids finished up so I told them to starr a rough draft of what they wanted to put on their part of the mural. Three kids brought me the most absolute random drawings in the world. Trying not to be disparaging I asked them "Can you tell me what this picture has to do with your tribe?"

They pouted and exclaimed "You didn't tell us the pictures had to be about INDIANS!!"

[santaclaushohoho1]

writing blog 4 you little bitch:

i got a lot of worldbuilding and basic plotting done in my head. motivations, archetypes, names, landscapes, architecture, races, culture, and images are swimming around in my head. most have been written down

tomorrow i am hoping to draw a map and start expanding on races and cultures in my notebook. writing draws ever closer. the cultures will probably change as i move on through the story, as i am sure the (college (subtle brag 😎 (shut up xxprogamerxx)) anthropology class i am taking will give me so many ideas i want to include.

george r.r. martin, stephen king, and andrzej sapkowski are providing a large amount of inspiration but it is not a crossover fan fiction where Jon Snow fucks Geralt and a mother, mother, daughter, son, and weird fucking uncle relationship forms between yennefer, sussanah, ciri, jake, and eddie (i listed them in their respective roles).

this is entirely original

i swear

i plan for the map to be super detailed and i would like to start tonight but i am wiped out so instead i am going to watch the click in bed, sleep, and start on it in the morning

if i dont wake up early enough to do mapping before i start school i will work on basic plotting and maybe design a couple languages

some will be ancient and out of use, but somehow still relevant to important things (fucking latin) and others will be used regularly, though most humanoids will speak my version of common

i also have 12 religions to create

this will be a lot of fun, and considering how much of my time i spend thinking about this stuff, i am hopeful i finish quickly

i ALSO developed a schedule that i will do for writing when the time comes around. my goal is 95,000 words, and i have mathed it out so that if i can write 3,750 words a week (not that much, 750 words, 5 days a week or 536ish words a day) then it will be completed in in less than six months. this is doable and also gives me a LOT of wiggle room, both to get extremely ahead of schedule (if i get really into it) or really behind schedule (if i can only bring myself to write 500 a day for a week, i have another 2 days to write that extra 1250) (for context, this is over 400 words, so i will need to write less than 2 of these a day, this only took me maybe 20 minutes but that's including going over a couple times with my eyes and with Grammarly to fix any spelling mistakes and grammar errors (as well as adding tags and this side note, we are more like at 547 in this whole thing, including the tags), i will not be doing that on my rough draft because that shit is supposed to be rough and editing it will kill my motivation so hard)

i got my shit together raccoon!!! woohoo!!!

[dipplinduo]

How long does it typically take you to work on a chapter of your fanfiction? In terms of drafting, getting feedback, and all of that.

Omg stop I love this question???

I'mma be real with you chief, the process is very chaotic & fell into place like this overtime organically. I've enjoyed writing prior to this, but more so of journaling and poetry. The work I post now is my first time legit trying to write storytelling, and it's all been a trial by fire kind of experience. But basically:

I've gotten into the habit of making vague outlines for chapters (or even oneshots) a few days before I sit down and actually write something. They're not really meant to be detailed at all; they're just meant to be trigger phrases that keep me on track with the events I aim to have unfold. Here's an example of what this looks like with Chapter 5 of S&S D (The Power Outage & Storm):

The outlines themselves are also very subject to change; I use them as references but often add in extra detail/scenes or remove/rearrange scenes as I'm writing. With this outline you can immediately see...

Juliana texting Drayton became Kieran snapping the cave selfie. I thought this change would be much better commentary on Kieran's unearthing feelings, as he made the active decision to take the selfie on his own. It was also a good way for Drayton to remain aware of their developing relationship (which was a secondary motive of mine given the brotherly role he eventually adopts), and it became a plot point I could refer back to later when Kieran discovers that Juliana might actually have feelings for him given what she does with the picture.

I was originally envisioning something more romantic with a shared Ribombee sighting. I changed this for a few reasons: 1) Having this scene as is would've verified that Ribombee wasn't a figment of Kieran's imagination 2) I had developed Ribombee's backstory and connection to Kieran by this point, and felt that creating a connection to Juliana this early on would diminish the storytelling with that. 3) Having Kieran see Ribombee as a more "pleasant" experience in this moment was symbolic to his healing in itself, and the extra detail of making Ribombee be a bit of a gatherer who is watching over them adds to the mystical/fairy godmother-like characterization I wanted to depict with her.

As for the actual writing itself?

This is a bit of a personality thing with me, but I am extremely bad at breaking tasks up into digestible bits. I'm more of a "I want to sit down and do all of this in one sitting no matter how long it takes me" kind of person. So 99.99% of the time I'm posting something - whether a singular chapter, a oneshot, or even a double update? It's all written in one sitting when I have a free day. I also have perfectionistic tendencies at times, so I tend to be a slow writer. Rather than write a rough draft to go back to and revise later, I hover over sentences or phrases and I will write/rewrite them when I feel stuck. I refuse to move on otherwise because leaving things unfinished apparently bothers me. So the amount of time it takes me can range but it's pretty much an all day endeavor, LOL.

The pros to this method is that I can zero in and maintain a continuous, uninterrupted flow after having an idea simmer for enough time. But as you can imagine, the cons include feeling very drained afterwards and not necessarily having a true revision process. This is why I make jokes about correcting typos immediately after publishing, lol. As much as I rather not have them there and appreciate when people (kindly) point them out, I think it's also important for me to be able to be imperfect to challenge said perfectionistic tendencies. So the proofreading drawback is actually deliberate, but it's more so for my personal development than for the writing! :P

As for the feedback?

Because of the spontaneity and intensity of my writing style, as well as my eagerness to publish after I finish something, I choose not to use betas. Instead, I actually like to do something I kind of refer to as "consulting" from time-to-time, lol? I essentially will tell a trusted person an idea I am not fully confident about or am having trouble with flushing out, and then I bounce back and forth with them. More often than not being able to verbalize my idea usually just helps me in itself.

The other core component of feedback is actually you guys. I always try to keep the reader experience in mind, and gauging your reactions helps inform me on where I wanna go next. For example...? >:)

No one (to my knowledge) has guessed the big moment that's approaching in Sweet & Sour. I kindaaaa want it to be a possible theory right before the reveal. And since we're getting much closer to it, I'm switching up my hints so they're going from more vague and gradual (beginning of story to recently) -> double entendres (last few chapters) -> more in your face (where we're going). I'm actually super excited but also very terrified for the execution of this shift LOL.

But really, even for cuter moments or smaller things or whatever? You guys are constantly inspiring and encouraging me, and your reactions and theories and fanarts and everrrythingggg all helps me tell a better story, so thank you. I do enjoy working with some of your ideas when you give me permission, and I do put in deliberate nods in fics to some of the things you are all saying/doing to express gratitude and respect back to you. I really want you to know that I am listening and I am so grateful for all of your engagement, so thank you for making my storytelling better. <3

So in sum the writing process for me is essentially:

Think about ideas in the back of my head for a few days

Create an outline a few days later, continue thinking in the back of my head

(If necessary): Consult about weak points that are making me feel stuck

Sit down and write when I have a free day and go ham. (Note: Picking out music to listen to also super helps with channeling the vibe of the writing piece.)

Publish

Wait for reactions and gauge where I wanna go from there

Maintain blog/respond to reactions during the gap; tease aspects of the fic & generate hype (mutual benefit - y'all can get excited and I can get motivated)

Repeat

If you're looking to write yourself, I would honestly tell you to do as I say and not as I do. I'm an extremely stubborn person when it comes to my personal expression (lol) and I honestly wouldn't want people to deal with the exhaustion afterwards, tbh. I'd suggest creating an outline, pacing yourself appropriately, and taking breaks as you write. Revising/proofreading before publishing would probably make your work a lot stronger, but if you're too impatient like me I see you and I feel you and we ride at dawn together LOOOLLL

This was a super fun question, I hope this answers it well enough! :)

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 2.27.2024

I met all three of my goals for last week, which is good, I guess. Number one was to stop being manic about my stupid fanfic, which I did, but I half-regret, because maybe I would be done by now, if I had just shot the anxiety curl, but that's neither here nor there, I suppose. I did finish Chapter 9a, and sent Chapters 7 and 8 to the beta, which were the other things I said I wanted to do. I, in fact, managed to make a dent in Chapter 9c, as well (Chapter 9b is like a little interlude thing, which may or may not get subsumed into Chapter 9c, depending on how long it comes out)

I am so close to being done, and I feel like it ought to be easy to push it over the finish line, but it hasn't. I've been feeling pretty down on it for the last few days. I'm not super-happy with the way the last few chapters have been turning out, but on the other hand, I'm not sure I have any way to make them better. I think a lot of it may just be that I have been working on this fanfic for so long that I'm kinda sick of it. :\

I took a little bit of a break today--I finished a book I was reading, and I made sort of a rough draft version of a banner, mostly because I'm still trying to nail down the title from a couple of different variations, and I was hoping that seeing it visually would be helpful. Based on that, the current frontrunner is Damage History (the other two options are Past Damage and Prior Damage, please feel free to tell me if you have any opinions).

I just did the math and apparently I crossed the six figure mark this week: the thing currently stands at 100,731 words (+7,004 for last week...really? How did I manage that???) I have two and a half scenes left to go, one of which is supposed to be short and one of which is the epilogue. There's also at least one scene that I'll probably try to rewrite a bit, I dunno. I guess the goal for next week is to finish the thing??? All of this feels extremely unreal.

Anyway, you've all been incredibly patient with me, so here's another preview. This is from one of the flashbacks in Chapter 2, and if it seems vaguely familiar, it's because it's one of the parts that got spun out of the old Renji-breaks-an-arm story.

---

Much like Kitajima himself, the shop had looked a lot better the last time Renji had seen it. There was dust and cobwebs everywhere. Most of the shelves were half-empty. 

"Take off your shirt," Kitajima instructed, dragging out a stool for Renji to sit on. 

"All the damage is below the elbow," Renji said quietly.

"Oh, look who's a medic now," the old man burbled.

Renji took off his shirt.

Kitajima pressed one of his clammy hands in the space between Renji's shoulder blades. A cold, nasty feeling bled down Renji's arm. He wanted to vomit. After a few moments, Kitajima felt his way down Renji's arm, squeezing at his flesh and shooting painful little sparks into his nerves. When the old rat snake got past the elbow, his fingers pressed against the end of the broken bone and Renji nearly passed out. 

"Hey! You're hurting him!" Rukia barked, bracing her entire weight against Renji's shoulder in an attempt to keep him upright.

Kitajima ignored her.

It wasn't pain, not exactly. Well. It was painful, but it was more like Renji's body was burning through all of his energy as quickly as possible. It felt like dying.

Kitajima finished his palpitations, then fetched something from one of his dusty jars. "Eat this," he said, pressing it into Renji's hand.

Renji remembered these things all too well. He'd eaten a lot of them during the period when he was working for Kitajima. It was a pill made up of mashed rice and various dried roots and seeds. They weren't the tastiest thing in the world, but they packed a lot of energy and they lasted forever. He bit into it gingerly.

“As I told you the last time you were here,” the old man growled, “you have the demon magic in you. The shinigami use it to cast spells, but also to push their bodies past what is normally possible. Like a fool, you have done this without proper training. You have broken and healed yourself simultaneously, but with no skill, and you have made a hash of it.”

“I wasn’t trying,” Renji excused. 

“Can you repair it?” Rukia pressed.

“I can rebreak it,” Kitajima replied.

[tadpolesonalgae]

Is there any other small/significant storyline that you changed from the original plan you had for cbmthy? Only if you want to share of course! I'm so in love with the fic I think about it constantly, can't get enough of it!!

Also, would you be willing to write drabbles once the fic is done? Like an Az pov, or an alt version of the events?

I hope this doesn't come off as me being dissatisfied, I'm just curious! In the end, it's your story and you know what's best!

(((I absolutely love what you've done with it)))

You're so sweet for asking this anon <3, thank you :')

(be warned I ramble quite a lot below)

the major pathway:

So I might repeat some I've already said, because I can't remember too well which once I've spoken about before, and most of the time I forget there was ever an alternative pathway until someone says something that reminds me of it! That being said, possibly one of the more extreme alternate pathways I briefly (not entirely seriously) considered taking the story along was that when Azriel takes the arrow and reader panics, thinking she's killed him, that instead of her sole intention being 'call for help' when her magic detonates, instead her intention is still to kill herself so she doesn't have to live with the guilt of murdering Azriel and that turns her magic malicious enough to result in Azriel's actual death! And almost reader's, too. I think I actually still have a draft tucked away somewhere for that potential ending, with reader living on in between worlds, thinking only Nesta can see her but pretends she can't (Nesta thinking she was seeing ghosts and becoming ill again, and trying to work through it), remaining trapped in the room where she killed Azriel, until Rhysand, filled with grief and misdirected hatred, turns her to mist for taking his brother :) Obviously, having it typed out, you can see why that didn't happen :)

The CBMTHY au, Slaughterhouse:

There was also a kind of au I was considering while thinking about reader possibly becoming a negative presence? I was thinking about writing something called Slaughterhouse, set a century or so after cbmthy! The rough outline was reader was deemed dangerous enough to be locked up in the prison after her initial outburst that tears through the magic of Prythian and sent the island into nuclear winter (thank you, Frozen), and then, all these decades later her cell is finally unlocked and the story follows as her and Azriel try to find the rest of the IC after the Prison fractured and Prythian was overtaken by the immortals once again! I still might write that one day as an au because while I despise horror and angst, I love me a good post-apocalyptic setting (thank you, tlou part 2)

Drabbles/aus

I think your idea sounds nice! With potentially writing short things once the story is completed? I have a few ideas that I just don't think would fit into the actual story so it would be nice to still get a chance to write them down afterwards if people enjoyed cbmthy's actual ending enough and found it satisfying enough to remain interested in it? I also think it would be a lot of fun to potentially write some of the cbmthy from Azriel's perspective once it's done, like what he thinks of Bas, how he felt when she ran away to autumn, what was going through his head when she kind of confessed to him in chapter 1 in the library? Those would definitely be drabbles I'd have to think long and hard about though, in order to get things right

And thank you for asking!!! It makes me so happy whenever anyone seems like they want to know more about cbmthy since it takes up such a large part of my mind now :')

Thank you for being interested in it <3

[jimbo-thy]

I am aware that arguing with strangers on Youtube is not the most productive use of my time, but I did actually yap for a long time so I want to archive my opinions here. Maybe I'll do more.

Long, single-sided, and semi pointless argument underneath the break.

If all you (OP) want is answers, then I have them for you from the perspective of a writer and an indie pen-and-paper game designer myself. I'll go ahead and warn you that this is going to be a semi-long read, but I want to be thorough.

tl;dr, You're overreacting to something that is actually really common in creative writing. Just because it wasn't meant for the public does not mean it shouldn't have been written.

1. "If it's non canon, why make it?" When you're working on something, especially something as long-term as a video game, you're going through multiple creative phases. These phases become more complex with every extra person working on the project. A proper creative KNOWS that at least 80% of their material will be cut from the final product.

2. "if its clearly too graphic for the target audience, why make it?" If I was making some children's fantasy media, and I wanted to retell the story of Castor and Pollux from greek mythology, I might make a mock-up detailing the how their mother (Leda) met their father (Zeus). Obviously, the Zeus Goose story is too graphic for children, but I need some filler and I can worry about censoring it later for the final release. It's a rough draft, so I don't need to waste brainpower on worrying about the target audience.

3. "If its was only used as an inside story... and wasnt made for the audience why make it?" This is a flawed assessment of creative design. This question assumes that artists only make content that will be released to the public. This is not true. Long-term projects like video games have hundreds of drafts that will never see the light of day.

To counter your "simple answer," most companies keep EVERYTHING in their vaults and databases, especially paranoid and overprotective companies like Nintendo/Game Freak. The reason leaks like this have so much content is because corporations want to keep records of everything so that if a rogue employee wanted to take a scrapped concept and claim it as their own, the corporation is able to legally prove that the employee committed plagiarism. It may seem frivolous to protect a concept that was too graphic for children, but imagine if a rogue employee took the story and put it in their own indie game that's meant for adults. If Game Freak didn't hold on to the record, then they would have no way to prove that this was plagiarism. It's an extreme hypothetical, but not one that's impossible.

Also, it's not like Game Freak can decide which of their databases gets hacked or not. Putting it "on a seperate server" does not make it more safe from prying eyes. Printing it out and deleting the original digital files would also be a huge waste of space, paper, and ink.

Moving on to your next point, only having a single author does not disprove that the stories were automated. Going back to my Zeus Goose example, if I was using that story as a rough draft, I would copy a wiki summary and replace all mentions of Leda and Zeus with whatever stand-in characters I needed. This is the mass-production method that [ANOTHER USER] was suggesting they used, although I don't know enough about Edo folktales to confirm if there is a real-life story match.

P.S. For what it's worth, it's been a few days since [OP] posted their reply, so I don't know if they'll even actually read this, but it needs to be said. I've heard the Typhlosion story is mistranslated and in reality is more of a "Beauty and the Beast" kind of tale. However, I don't really care, since this post isn't about whether or not the Typhlosion story is appropriate for a children's video game (it's not). This post is about how rough drafts are not beholden to the same kind of scrutiny as finished products.

Originally posted on YouTube

[amadwinter]

Making of Monday - Theme Weeks

I actually made a post last Monday. I wrote an emotionally-charged, nonsensical rant about how much I hate writing, because I was in the middle of editing a very long chapter and I needed the catharsis. But I deleted it because I needed it to be written, but I didn't feel it needed to be seen. Sometimes, writing is like that.

But! Anyway! Something completely different now.

Last year, I participated in 3 different theme weeks (Stewjoni Biology Week, Blasphemous Week, and Sith Obi-Wan Week), resulting in me writing 60k+ over 15 fics! Some people write their fics for theme weeks or theme months (Kinktober, Flufftober, etc.) day by day. I do not.

This is what I do instead.

Step 1: Make a list and brainstorm

Whenever the prompts for each day of the theme week are revealed, I write them all down in one document along with their dates. Having them all together in one place is great for my own reference. Then I start writing down different ideas that could fit on each prompt. Some are short, one-sentence ideas. Some really get the creative juices flowing and include little snippets of dialogue.

Step 2: Create individual documents

After letting these ideas marinade for a time (a week, a month, etc), including thinking them over, playing them out in my head, getting a feel for where these ideas will go, I create an individual document for them. Hopefully, this stage occurs at least a month out, or preferably two+ months before the posting date.

Step 3: Fluctuating creativity

Over the course of the remaining time, I flip back and forth between each of my documents. When inspiration on one wanes, I rush back to another. What's extremely helpful is having each one at different stages. One fic still needs to be outline, another two need to have the rough draft written, one needs to be edited, etc.

Step 4: Panic

You see all that time I've given myself to write? Yeah, usually I don't use it to the fullest extent. About 2 weeks before the theme week kicks off, I don't have anything finished. Everything is in various stages of progress. But that deadline coming up? Yeah, that really gives me the motivation to power through and do most of my writing in those last two weeks.

But I wouldn't be able to do that without thinking over the fics so much over a few months, and getting the outline down. It's all part of the process, and it doesn't work without all of it.

Step 5: Posting

If I'm lucky, I'll have the fic finished the day before I'm set to post it. Once or twice, I haven't finished until the day after. But if I'm far enough along, I will push through and finish it no matter how much I regret it.

Should I have a different process for getting all this done? Maybe. Might save me some stress. We'll see how any of the theme weeks of 2024 go.