#and always makes sure she is fed
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pumpkinsouppe · 7 months ago
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I need Senshi and Catarina to meet, Keith and her mother always shame her for her love of food and I need Senshi to do something about that
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d-lanx · 1 month ago
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chaikachi · 1 year ago
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rosegarden is sooooooooo canon baby
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veloursdor · 2 months ago
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day 41 of the hiatus and i miss him
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coulsonlives · 1 year ago
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I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.
#it's painful because i knew someone who personally faked this stuff (or has convinced herself she has it i can't even tell)#she had spent all her time on tiktok and i know for 100% sure that's where she got the idea. it's TRAGIC how fast things went downhill#i'm legit horrified at how many people (esp young kids of 13-14) think they have this too. or are just pretending#i've been neck deep in hardcore research (and i'm talking pubmed sciencedirect etc only) for months#and those kids definitely don't have did.. if they have trauma and are dissociating it's going to be something else like dpdr etc#the number of stupid 'you have did' answers i see for totally basic questions like 'i got dizzy what's wrong w me' is insane too#it's like googling 'muscle twitch' and then thinking you have some rare 1/billion familial cancer thing despite other obvious explanations#but worse.. in these cases the information is being fed to them. they don't have an opportunity to explore other possibilities#and the worst part is they don't even know to CHECK THE VALIDITY OF WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE SAYING. they don't have info literacy#like i'll say this once: did is so rare that it's STILL contentious about whether it even exists#and it only happens in the most unimaginably traumatic experiences. think of the worst possible things you could do to a child#where even just thinking about it makes you uncomfortable. THAT'S the kind of trauma that leads to did. the truly evil stuff.#i'm not even gonna start on the BITE model shenanigans that are happening in the 'did' communities either#or how the people who used to be in them (and got out) always equate them to self-harming cults that celebrated not finding real answers#they got told they were 'perfect the way they were' despite having OBVIOUS psychological issues they needed help for#(it just wasn't did)#they were assured their 'did was valid no matter what'. toxic positivity ig? it just delayed their real diagnosis and ability to get help#but now you have gluts of people like in the video 'talking to themselves' and people on tumblr posting one-liners of 'alters' talking#one after the other within seconds. and i want to fcking cry because it's the same exact shit my friend did before she cut ties#the did/tourettes/ftlb stuff has literally been called a 'mass sociogenic illness' in multiple academic studies#but like qanon believers they seem to immediately discredit anyone who mentions this with 'you're just ableist' so anything you say is poo#aka you're part of the problem you're an 'ableist' so your legit info even though legit isn't valid/acceptable/real/whatever. i'm tired fam#did#dissociative identity disorder#osdd#ddnos#munchausen syndrome#mass psychogenic illness#ableism
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mars-ipan · 3 months ago
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it is so nuts trying to have a healthy relationship with food when your sibling is trying to be a gym bro
#marzi speaks#i’ve been working on doing the whole intuitive eating thing#bc i have issues with my appetite and i want to make sure i’m both keeping myself fed and healthy and not having to see food as a chore#and it’s working out for me! and i’m having a good time and i genuinely enjoy food#and my parents are happy with it bc it’s working out for me. i think my mom’s happy to see me try to keep a healthy mindset with food#bc she struggled with it for a long time and is just starting to figure out what works for her herself etc etc#but it gets SO weird with my brother sometimes#i’ll grab a snack or smth sugary or high carb or whatever and he’ll be like ‘damn that’s so unhealthy :/‘#and i’m like. no??? it’s got these nutrients??#and he’ll go ‘yeah but it’s junk food’ and i have to look at him and be like ‘no food is inherently better or worse than other food’#‘i eat these types of foods in moderation with more nutrient-dense foods as well. i’m doing fine’#and he’s always like ‘…..okay… i wouldn’t eat it though’ and i just look at him like. Alright king#it doesn’t bug me bc idgaf what he thinks but it DOES make me worry for him a little#he felt guilty for eating oreo cakesters today. he had 2 of the 3 in his pack n he was like ‘i feel bad for eating these :(‘#and i asked ‘well are you full? like do u feel sick? or???’#and he was like ‘no i just feel guilty’#and i had to remind him that he’s allowed to eat and enjoy them. and it’s fine and he doesn’t have to earn it#idk how well it stuck but he did finish it bc he wanted to finish it so. i dunno#he’s got some shit to work through. he’ll figure it out i’m sure
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izzy-b-hands · 5 months ago
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Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)
#text post#Housemate was amazing and helped me calm down a bit before ae went to work bc my brain woke up in meltdown mode over this tbh#it sucks bc like. im excited to see my mum despite the Everything with that lmao#but im not excited for how her bf has been acting since they got here (and it's been day 1 out of 7 days)#with some outright homophobic comments while Housemate and i hosted them briefly at our house yesterday afternoon#not abt us but like. i mean. u know we're both queer so#doesn't really matter if it's abt us or not it's still fucky and makes me worry abt how he's gonna be today!!#doesn't help that he really wanted to go to Italy with her instead this summer#(despite the passive aggressive complaints from him & mum to a degree abt how expensive it was for them to come out here)#(we're ignoring the fact that a European trip would be even more expensive lmao tho i do think if they want to/can afford it they should go)#like. the Vibe from him has just been that he'll be Just Polite Enough but that he didn't want to be here#and he doesn't expect to have any fun and it's like#dude i am Trying. i and Housemate have looked up stuff to do that includes things he likes (like guns and historical weapons)#we tried making comments abt that yesterday like hey u might like this but if there's anything u have in mind already#and he was just. whatever idc but then made comments that made it clear he's not excited for anything else#like museums or the beach for sea glass hunting or the bird sanctuary or even the zoo#and all have places to rest/sit plus restrooms and food so I don't think it's a worry abt facilities thing for him#i think he's just fed up that I'm still involved in my mum's life since i moved and like#yes there's a detangling of the umbilical cord i and my past therapist were trying to eventually get my mum to cut#since cutting it myself in any attempt has had her metaphorically taping it back together#but like. it's not entirely on me here. I'm trying to set boundaries and make sure she's giving him more attention than me since he's w/her#more than i am now#i know he's upset when she helps me financially too (i offer to pay her back but she always refuses it) bc she took me aside yesterday#to give me some cash for the time with them for souvenirs/fun stuff i might not buy otherwise bc im trying to be mindful of money#aka still waiting on money my fkn job should have already paid me like. a week or more ago now#he makes her happy so even if he hates me i still care abt his frustrating ass#and i do want him to have as much fun as he can while still relaxing during the trip out here#but i feel like im gonna have to physically shake him by the shoulders screaming this before he listens#and even if he listens he probably won't believe me#sorry for the tag essay the edible hasn't kicked in yet can u guys tell lmao
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dutybcrne · 9 months ago
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Kaeya is rather touch averse, cringing away from casual contact people give him under the guise of being distracted or idle movement. He's used to it, the Ragnvindrs and Adenlinde got him used to frequent affectionate physical contact, but it can still be entirely Uncomfortable if he's touched by someone outside those he is close to or someone he's otherwise Allowed to touch him.
#hc; kaeya#//Mentioned before; but am Elaborating on other aspects since Aven get brain juices flowing for this#//Unlike Aven; he's FAR more tolerable of people who touch him unprompted. & more willing to indulge for himself outside his comfort people#//Unless he himself had actively given the indication he doesn't want it; in that case THEN he's likely to anger & retaliate#//But yeah; his response is usually Discomfort & trying to get away from it one way or another. Can tolerate it to appear friendly; sure#//But would rather not want people to touch him so easily. Is decently okay with brief touches tho; like shoulder pats or the like#//Will actively lean into it & encourage further touching ONLY as a means to an end; adjusting any wandering hands only when going too far#//Esp if he can use that like a carrot on a string–if they concede to what he wants; they can touch him more. Maybe MORE than just that too#//He won't initiate any touch unless he deems it Absolutely Necessary; WILL internally scream if they Immediately reciprocate the contact#//Uses it as a 'reward' sometimes; a little pinch of the cheek; a hug; getting right into their space; if he sees they'll react favorably#//Maybe more if they have connection enough; like Huffman or one of his longer-running liaisons. Is p ok w/ sleeping w/ them as reward#//Sometimes he forgets some people don't like that he does this; like Rosie. Tries the tactic to get a favor then Remembers#//Absolutely apologizes; feels mortified when she scrutinizes him for it. Esp since she'd be one of few ppl who KNOWS just how Averse he is#to it in the first place. Him slipping up like that in front of HER is smth he'd STRESS over. She could hold over his head for all he knows#//How can he even joke abt it? Worse if she asks abt his way of doing things or indicate she doesnt Like that he uses himself as bait#//Has absolutely accidentally tried to seduce/bait sb like that who he absolutely should Not have. Like Jean. Ended up playing it off like#a joke between friends; but damn near had a panic attack from the guilt the moment he was safely in his office. bc Jean is SPECIAL to him#could he treat her like THAT? How could he almost let her SEE that side of him? His casual charm and facade are ONE thing#//But him actively doing something like THAT; esp for Jean of all people; is COMPLETELY off-limits; no matter his feelings#//Actually; especially BC he harbors feelings for her. Ppl like Lisa on the other hand; he is VERY comfortable doing this with/to#//She GETS the flirty habit & dishes it back without losing image of him in the way someone he regards at Jean's level possibly could#//And as far as Lisa knows; it's Only a playful habit; not a means to an end. The ones who prolly Know might be certain folks in the church#//But that's just bc he gets frequent checkups after every lil Rendezvous of his. Which is why he's got dirt on Every Single Person There#//Except Barbara; but he absolutely makes SURE she's not the one he's dealing with whenever he goes. Wants to spare her his messes#//Damn; veered a little but it's alright. 'A little'; HA. Nah; my tags are but the cluttered corkboard of my thoughts jhdbfjdf#//Diluc; Addie & Jean are the people he most Fears finding out abt his methods. Doesnt wanna THINK abt how they'd feel/regard him after tha#//Knows for SURE it'd be painful if the way they treat him changes even a SLIGHT. ESP Addie; he can bear the other two; but Addie???#//Nah; he'd be fucken DEVASTATED. That's the ONE person he knows hold true unwavering unconditional love for him; no matter what#//To do anything to damage that? He'd be so fucken GUTTED. He expects everyone to get fed up with/disdain him at some point. But not HER#//Keeps this shit on the down low by always having dirt on the people he gets Involved with; if not using keeping it up as an incentive
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helianyx · 6 months ago
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the character in your banner is very cool and is giving me gender envy, who are they, i must know them
oh gosh, you and me both! 🤝 that's actually my OC, Mana! Her appearance was originally based on Djeeta from Granblue Fantasy before she spun into an OC, and the art there was commissioned by AoClover from twitter of her in Final Fantasy XIV.
She is the love of my life and heals me sm (and though she uses primarily she/her she is nb and OK with any pronouns). (I have a whole sideblog dedicated to her + her aesthetic over here and her ff14 tag is here - tho warning for some occasional nsfw) but thank you very much please know that she loves you and would make you delicious baked treats <3<3<3
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sweetandglovelyart · 9 months ago
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Now that I’ve finished the most recent comic page I think I should actually try and do some proper drawings of some of my OCs. Get ready to see Taranza’s mom Theraphoza, I’m working on drawing her first 🕷️
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therosevest · 1 year ago
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woke up to just a single little piece of cat shit on my floor that i had to take care of obviously and i dont know if it's cause my cat got irritated during the night and acted out or if she genuinely just struggles with how tall the stupid thing is (i need to get her a regular one for here fr this one was supposed to help with catching litter and etc but it just creates way more problems) but you can imagine that when she was immediately lovey dovey with lydia it was like a stab to my heart a bit
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pixelizedprince · 1 year ago
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Arabella and Geo's found family relationship is so important to me.
Arabella has an open door policy with Geo's family after BG3 and she knows she's welcome both at their family home where their sister lives in Baldur's Gate and the new home Geo has with Gale in Waterdeep.
She visits Geo in Waterdeep, and has a not-panic attack okay maybe panic attack about how destiny has expected so much from her and she can handle it she has to but not knowing what is her and what is fate has got to fuck a kid up. And not to her degree, but Geo understands, gods do they get having to be so strong and just and perfect for everyone else. So they sit there, and after she cries it out and Geo rubs her back for a few, Geo abruptly gets up and sits at the piano. It takes a few moments of fiddling to figure out the off enchantment for the damn thing but hey sit there, and play the worst line of notes anyone has ever attempted while trying to translate the unused sheet of music propped up and dustless. Arabella grits her teeth and ends up laughing at the older tiefling's dogshit attempt, she shyly joins them, and tries to read it too. She isn't any better. They spend the next few hours trying to figure it out and eventually both get the hang of a few of the chords. Gale finally comes home and after going through the stages of grief of his piano being "mistreated" (please gentle fingers,, gentle!!) he is baffled they would attempt that piece as its very advanced, and helps them get down some old books he has with more beginner sheets.
So everytime she visits they practice together, both being bad at something and having no one expecting anything from them, Gale leaving them to their playing with no judgment, slipping in new songs he would like to hear from time to time. It takes years but they both learn together step by step and eventually get good enough that they can both play without the other, but they always thinks of each other when they reach for the keys.
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fazcinatingblog · 5 months ago
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200 chapter fanfiction on what really happened the night of 26th January 2019 at a house party in Richmond
#look i know it was just a regular invasion day party to you but to me it's all i can think about#sure it's been 5 years but i want the details#how did Alex fall into a gutter outside??? was he pushed??? did he trip????#how did his arm really get broken#why'd he do it on the same night as Brownlow medalist Ollie wines????#were there actually Curnow's involved#were there other Carlton people there#did Faz drunkenly say go pies and they hauled him outside and threw him in the gutter yelling good riddance#The rumours suggested Faz was trying to pick up a girl that was his mate's girlfriend#which girl#like Bella or grace or the cheesecake girl who fed him tiramisu or#or is that how he met Shae#she was dating some random and he tried to pick her up and the guy bashed him#Faz still got the girl anyway plus two other girls so who's the real winner#or Celeste or wait is Celeste a plow or a Marchbank i always get confused#both plow and Marchbank are the same person#or maybe Jamie reagan was there and she was accusing Faz of having slept with every girl#Faz not denying it so all the guys just took him outside and bashed him#The party was a mix of players from all football clubs#Devon tried to kidnap Faz but only got him as far as the gutter#trying to force faz down the sewers into his underground tunnels but Faz wouldn't fit because of his Beyonce bum#faz fractured his arm in the process though#devon screaming at Faz HOW DO YOU MAKE IT UP THE HILL SPRINTS IF YOU'RE SO FAT#faz just like I've got my secrets#releases a book of how to navigate the aflm world as a fatty#leaves a copy in the number 32 locker at carlton#no one read it but now Matt Carroll is really enjoying it#walks around the club like 'hey did you know if you heat up food it's less calories?'#microwaves all his donuts#matt studiously reading the chapter on hill sprints
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uglygirltrying · 2 months ago
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barbarian!ghost x princess!reader | pt2 to this
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princess!reader whose new life, after the wedding, was as easy as it could possibly be. she just had to sit still and look pretty. most difficult part of her new life, was her new husband. he's a hard head. a piece of work, as she liked to think. as if he could be changed.
barbarian!ghost who liked his new wife. enjoyed her, even. she's pretty, sure. but she's a good girl too. and he liked that. he liked how he needed to protect her. keep her safe and warm. fed and happy. and, he'd gladly do just that.
princess!reader whose stuff was starting to make itself home. her clothes filled the dresser. her vanity table stood against the wall. fresh vase of roses on the nightstand every morning.
her smell stuck on the pillows.
barbarian!ghost who would only trust his most loyal men to guard her. the men he trusted, not to let his wife get hurt. not get touched. the men he trusted, to always know, whose wife the princess was.
barbarian!ghost who would probably never admit how much he was actually ready to do for her.
how many men he would kill at her word, before ever asking anything in return.
how many kingdoms he would take over, just for her to wear their riches.
and how much he would sacrifice, just for her to sleep in his arms every night.
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taglist: @soapisdaddy
sorry that it's so short, and barely anything. i didn't feel inspired. but i still wanted to post at least something, because it was requested🙏 if i get inspired, I'll probably rewrite in another style, not this listing thing yk
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be-good-to-bugs · 9 months ago
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yeah ok having my pronouns respectfully feels pretty fuckin good
#the bin#ive been really fed up with everyone i know using exclusively she/her so i changed my nametag to say just say he/him insteds of he/she#i usually dont even wear my nametag bc it always getd wet and it just smudges but im supposed to so im just gonna redraw it everytime before#i leave for my next shift. it doesnt bother me from my coworkers bc like. they dont know. but everyone else in my life never used he him for#me. today was the first day i wore a he/him nametag and both my coworkers i was working with like. apologized to me if they offended me by#calling me girl and stuff and. idk. its just nice that they noticed and cared. i wasnt expecting anybody to notice at all really#and i told them that they can still use she/her f9r me but i prefer for people to use both. idk. i hate being seen as JUST a girl.#im a boy too. its not about what im not. its not about what pronouns make me unhappy. its about what i am and what does make me happy#i knew the one coworker wpuld be chill abt it bc she has a trans kid who shes supportive of but the other one i wasnt sure#i heard her make some comment abt they them pronous referring to a specific person but it was cleatly petsonal business so like#it seemed kinda transphobic but i dont have any of the context snd she seemed really chill before that so i figured it just sounded bad#out of context and i was right so thats reassuring.#i dont have gender dysphoria but it still fuckibg hurts when people refuse to respect who i am. i wanna tell people im a boy and a girl and#they respect and believe me when i say it. i do have some people in my life who do but they always default to girl me#and like. i know i look super feminine and i dress super feminine. plus i am still a girl. but the boy part of me is just as important#most of the time im actually presenting the boy side of myself. the boy inside me oikes to wear frilly clothes and the girl inside me wants#to become a shadow. but people look at me and ofc think girl.#idk. its beens hard to get the people i know to actually care and respect my gender and everything bc i havent like changed my name#and i dont present any differently and i still use she her in addition to he him. so they think the additons im asking them to respect arent#important. if some of the time its exactly the same as before then thats fine. but literally never ever referring to me as a boy and with#he him pronouns is bad. just bc she her and being a girl dont make me feel bad abt myslef doesnt mean you dont have to also acknowledge#the he him boy parts of me. like. dont a deserve that basic respect? idk.#i mostly changed my nametag to jsut make myslef feel a bit better. like at least something refers to me that way. something sees me as a boy#even if its just my nametag i wrote myself#but it was definitely worth it
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myladysapphire · 5 months ago
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Solace
As the daughter of Alicent Hightower you had been fed stories of your older sister and her children, so when you are bethrothed to Jacaerys you arent too sure as to what to expect, and go into your courtship expecting the worse, only to find out you couldn't have been more wrong.
word count: 5,908
CW: MDI 18+, smut, fluff. p in v, fingering, loss of virginity, oral (f reciving), incest not beta read!
Jacaerys Veleryon x Fem!reader
a/n - no war au
Masterlist
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She had been betrothed to Prince Jacearys since they were both children, before most noble children even knew the expectation of one day getting married off and yet since the day of said betrothal, they had not spent a single moment together. Nor had you exchanged a single letter nor a single thought of the other, at least she had not. 
In all honesty she had simply lived as if he and their impending marriage did not exist, so when he returned for his brother's hearing and for their courtship to officially begin, they were at a complete loss of where to begin, they knew of no common interests, and there family’s had been pitted against each other their entire lives.  Seeing as they had never been close in their youth, nor present much time together, seeing as she had kept to herself or Heleana, and Jacearys having spent most of his time with his brother and hers.
She had always preferred solitude, preferred to keep to her books, painting, and her beloved dragon Gaelithox. Gaelithox perhaps the only being she would spend day after day with willingly. 
she had hoped he would be similar. Though from what she could remember, he always seemed to find himself surrounded by others, not once does she remember seeing him alone. Perhaps if she had then she would have gotten to know him. But for her crowds were her worst fear, talking to more than one person or anyone was really. But Jacearys was always the centre of attention, with his good looks and charisma, it seemed he never begged for attention, it just always simply found him. She hoped marrying him would not force her to become the same.
How they expected her to one day be queen confused her. With Jacearys as the future king she would have all these responsibilities and have to do everything she hated. Her mother had made sure to tell her that, to start to show her what would be expected of her.
For all she knew it was a scare tactic from her mother, y/n knew her mother hated them, she would call them bastards and would whisper in her ear more and more rumours about her eldest sister and her eldest son. 
So, when he arrived all she could do was watch him. Scared to start a conversation, and too nervous to make any moves towards him. So she stood from the sidelines as he found himself surrounded by the keeps inhabitants. 
As she watched him at dinner, following lucerys victory of being declared the future lord of the tides, she very much doubted he would like solitude as much as she did. The few moments where he found himself not in conversation, he almost seemed nervous. She feared he would never understand her fear of crowds, or her hate for balls and feasts. Nor understand what her mother referred to as her quirks. He was loud and charismatic, all traits she lacked. He was drawn to crowds and seemed to thrive at the events she hated. But he seemed to suffer in the moments she loved the moments alone, the quiet moments.
She had been forced to sit away from her usual seat and sit nearer to the centre, a place where all eyes were on her. She sat opposite her eldest sister, Rhaenyra, with Jacearys on one side, and Aegon on the other. 
Aegon had been making crude jokes all evening, whispering and taunting her. Though she had become extremely talented at ignoring him, it was starting to bug her, and all she wished was to retire to bed. 
Luckily, he seemed to be the only one interested in her, until Rhaenyra decided to start a conversation with her. She had never really known her eldest sister, having always been stopped by her mother. She remembered when her and Rhaenyra would have bi-weekly garden tea, until her mother found out and banned her from even going near Rhaenrya chambers.
Over the years her mother had told her only the worst about Rhaenyra, and forced her own hatred or mayhap envy of her onto y/n. And yet she only ever seemed to be kind to her when they did interact. 
“Sister?” y/n heard her call out.
“Yes princess?” she responded, stuttering from being addressed. 
“Are you quite alright, you look quite pale?” her face was concerned, as did Jaceaerys when he turned from his seat to face ger at his mother’s words.
“i-“ you looked down starting to pull at the skin on your fingers, “i do not find i fit in well in such gatherings, it's just stress” she spoke, voice shaking as y/n looked down and bringing her fingers to her mouth biting the skin around them.
“Would you like me to escort you back to your chambers?” She heard Jacearys ask in concern. 
At this her mother’s attention was captured, as she snapped her head around, ending her conversation with her grandsire, in doing so capturing the whole tables attention “what’s wrong dearests?”
“i- i would like to retire mother?” y/n almost begged, desperate for the offered reprieve.
“of course Aem-“her mother began, before being interrupted, clearly offering Aemond to escort her to her chambers. 
“I shall escort her,” Jacearys interrupted, standing from his seat and offering his hand that
she took it nervously.  These were the most words either had spoken for each other, at least that she could remember. 
Walking down the halls of the keep, she found herself in a comfortable silence.  Though Jacearys seemed to find it rather uncomfortable as he began to ramble on about gods knows what.
“so i told Luke -“
She hummed, responding to a question she probably heard minutes ago, she hated to admit it but she was seriously struggling to follow whatever he was talking about. The topic of which changed near every second. 
He stopped walking suddenly, causing her to be pulled back as their arms were still interlinked. He seemed to finally realise he was talking nonsense and had lost her completely “I’m sorry, I’ve been rambling on and you can’t even follow a word of what i was saying i-“ 
“oh no i- i, well yes, but I believe you are just nervous… as am il” y/n spoke softly. 
He nodded, “your right, i- i have been trying to think of anything i know about you, any shared memories and yet i can not find a single thing” he shook his head, seemingly ashamed.
“oh well… we never really talked until today, i always much preferred my own company to that of others”
“oh i- really?” he sounded confused as if spending time by himself was beyond him.
“i always found i was always more myself when with others, in fact i find myself nervous when I am alone '' he spoke, slowly making sure not to ramble on once more.
“I suppose I have never found such solace with another person as to feel myself with another person” you looked down, she too seemed so polar to one another and feared her solitude would always be interrupted once she married him. 
“I understand that, Luke is the same way” he looked at her then, “i hope that i can be the person you find solace in, one day..” he took her hands, stoking them softly, it was always a hard thing for her, touch. Always avoiding it, and only taking hugs to shaking someone’s hand when she knew social construct dictated she should. And yet with him it was fine it seemed nice almost, something she could get used to, even find solace in.
“I would like that”  she nodded, and he gave her a sweet smile, relief almost washing over his face. He took her arm once more and led her back to her chambers, this time instead of rambling, he simply asked her questions about herself, and for once she happily answered them.
The next day she was awoken to the sound of rapped knocks on her door. Though she normally slept in, it was still rather early for such a thing. Opening the door she saw Jacaerys standing with a bouquet of flowers, more specifically peonies, a flower that you would often find embroidered on several of her dresses. 
“Prince-“
”Jace” he interrupted “ please call me Jace, we are to be a married soon it is only right” 
“Jace” she said slowly, getting used to the informality she lacked with even her own family , “what are you doing here so early?” 
“Early?” he laughed, as if if the idea that nine in the morning could ever be considered early,  “i suppose it could be”
”Why are you here?” She asked, almost irritated.
“Sorry,” he spoke, reaching his arm out to present her with the peonies'' i simply came to ask if we may break our fast, with the hope you had yet to eat and yet it seems i woke you,” he shook his head “i apologise, i am used to waking up early for training. I should have thought you may have preferred to sleep in” he looked down nervously.
Sniffing the flowers, she moved into her room, leaving the door agar as an invitation for Jace to come in. ”I would like that” she nodded, “Though this is still rather early for me, so i shall need to call my maids to help me dress and prepare our breakfast”
”early?” He again asked, “what time do you normally wake?”
”Mostly before noon, but not before 10,” you looked up with a small smile, “i find i can sleep the days away if allowed, it is one of the few things i can never seem to get enough off”
He laughed, the nerves leaving him slightly. “I find i am always awake by eight, at the latest, sadly i do not possess the same skill to sleep in, a skill i am much jealous of.” He smiled, “ i shall have the guards fetch your maids and order breakfast, and perhaps tomorrow we may share lunch instead” 
“I would like that,” she nodded.
Their fast was spent with the exchange of shy smiles and timid questions asked, as time went on  they grew more comfortable and found their rhythm, and she found the tiredness she felt from talking to others never came. 
The next moon was perfect, each day she would wake, dress, then Jace would meet her and she broke her fast and he took his second meal. Then they would walk the gardens. After a few days, she confessed how typically she would ride Gaelithox the second she awoke, and soon they found they were going for dragon rides every morning. Vermax and Gaelithox enjoying each other's company. Every second was filled with chatter, and those few that were not, neither felt any awkwardness, just contentment, solace.
They seemed to spend almost every second of every day with each other and yet she not once found it tiring, or wished for a reprieve, she simply wished for more.
There were even days where she wished for no talking and Jace was more than happy to spend the whole day in silence, simply enjoying each other's company, as they went about their own tasks.
She felt as if she was learning everything there was to know about him, through his stories she felt as if she knew his brothers, his family, like she had grown up with them , and not just watching them. She learnt his quirks and he learnt hers. And every day they seemed to learn something new. 
But today was the first day she would spend without him since his arrival, with her father , the king, asking for Jace to accompany the small council meetings from now on. 
So she had planned to spend the day alone, resuming her old daily routine even on the days where Jace was not in her company. 
That was until her mother decided to skip the small council meeting and spend the day with her.
”Do not ever trust them, dearest” her mother tutted, brushing through her hair. “They only wish for you and he to grow close so when the time comes you are on their side-“
She had tried to tune her out, but the instant comments answered messing with her head. She felt as if she was falling in love with Jace and yet they way her mother spoke of him, it was as if he was worse than Aegon, a fact she knew was not true.
“mother!” she finally  snapped , shaking her head she pulled away from her mother, “i do not care! Jace shall be my husband and as you have reminded me since the day I first bleed, that my duty is to my husband and his family before my own.” she then whispered to herself “a fact you do not follow yourself” continuing she said “ so why now when it is the son of the woman you despise, am I to do the opposite?” It was so out of character for her and yet years and years of hearing the words bastard and betrayal and whispers of war, she was finished. 
She fully pulled away from her mother and stood up, straightening her dress, “this past moon i have felt more seen and known by Jace than anyone my whole life. My whole life I have detested company, and chatter, and have at any and all attempts avoided events. and now i find the one person i do not detest, and would falsely attend any event he wishes me to, someone i enjoy spending time with, my future husband! You wish to ruin it for me! Do you not want me to be happy?” She nearly yelled, her face turning from the sweet, shy and docile face it had always been had turned angry “you clearly do not wish for Heleana to have happiness, as clear with her marriage to Aegon at three and ten!” She was steaming, years of biting her younger so as to not gain attention, or do more talking that’s necessary, bitterness flowed through her.
”dearest i-“ her mother started, moving towards and reaching for her to pull her in a hug, only to be met by an instant rejection.
”I simply wish for whatever war you are making up in your head to end, so you can finally allow me the happiness I deserve!” And with that she walked about, only to be met with Jace and Rhaenyra's face as she walked out. 
Jace chased after her, leaving his mother left to deal with Alicent.
”y/n” he called out, “y/n stop!”
“No, I can't,” she said as she continued down the halls, though she did slow down, allowing Jace a chance to catch up with her. “if i stop walking I’ll march right back in there and apologies!” she proclaimed.
“I'm sure you won't, you did the right thing '' Jace spoke, still trying to catch up with her.
“i have bite my tongue my whole life, never expressing my thoughts or opinions, and today i did!” she spoke, as she realised she was walking towards Jace’s chambers. She didn’t even think of where she was going, having stormed out of her own rooms, it seemed that in this past month his room had become a comfort to her.
Finally catching up in time to open the door to his rooms. “y/n you don’t have to explain, you didn’t do anything, you just spoke up for yourself and…for me” y/n swear she saw him blush.
“i know it was hard for you, that talking and expressing yourself is something your struggle with…but you stood up for yourself it’s nothing you have to feel bad about it’s something you should be proud of” he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips “and in all honestly  i was rather impressed”
“you where?” she blushed, stepping one closer. 
he nodded, “ you know me and my mother were coming to your chambers to discuss the wedding” he said wrapping his arm around her waist. a movement and touch she had now grown to love. “ We are to be married in a fortnight” his face moved closer to her.
“We are?” she questioned, her breathing getting heavier. 
he nodded, there faces so close they were sharing their breaths “yes, soon you will be my wife, and i your husband and your mothers silly little rants will have no sway any longer” 
she gasped, he leant forward and finally kissed her, it was soft and sweet, leaving them both a blushing mess. 
The next two weeks moved slowly, filled with wedding planning. 
Her relationship with her mother was strained, finding most of the planning to be with her eldest sister Rhaenrya and even Heleana more so than her own mother. And the few times she was there she simply sent a glare in their direction and took at every laugh and smile.
She found that she rather enjoyed her sister's company, the two having a few similar interests. Rhaenyra seemed kind and cared for her children a great deal and as a result she did with her too. 
She knew her mother cared, but watching her mother interact with Rhaenyra highlighted that most of her mothers objections were actually ones of jealousy. She was Jealous of Rhaenyra and more so of Daemon, as he received more glares the more he and Rhaenrya showed affection to one another. So much jealousy that she swear she saw some longing in her gaze whenever she stared at Rhaenrya.
The day before her wedding she finally found herself alone with her mother though from the way her mother barged into her room she knew the conversation the pair were about to have would not be a pleasant one.
“sit down dearest” she spoke as she herself got comfortable.  Doing as her mother bid, she sat beside her. Her mother quickly took her hand in hers, tight enough that even if she were to recoil it would not break her free. 
“When I had this. Conversation with your sister, she already knew some of what was to come, with her Marrying Aegon, and will he loved to taunt her with the gory details for moons before their wedding” Alicent took a deep breath. “On the morrow you will be wed, and with that shall come some expectations” 
she nodded, not quite sure what her mother meant. “not only will you be taking on some of my duties but there is also the expectation of an heir…” she looked at her then, expecting her to interrupt in some way. She stayed quiet, she knew she would have to have children but how the act itself was done was peculiar to her.
Her mother shifted uncomfortably, “once you are wed the marriage must be consummated” she awkwardly grabbed at her hands, “it will be uncomfortable but some pleasure can be found in the act” she sent her mother peculiar look, causing her mother to cough uncomfortably and once again move to explain “your husband will…insert himself in you, and spill his seed, allowing a babe to be made, though it can take some time so i shall prey you are lucky and conceive soon…”
she looked down quietly “mother “she spoke slowly, “Aegon is my brother, though he and i aren’t close i have…walked in on him numerous times, time enough to know what sex is” 
Her mother was shocked, looking down and shaking her head, “your brother has no shame-“
“mother, i also have a septa who taught me” she laughed, Heleana only did not know because she was young mother, i am aware, in fact me and-“ she cut herself off not wanting her mother to become more shocked at hearing how her and Jace have already talked of the wedding night.
They were both inexperienced, though Jace had been taken to brothels by Daemon he had never actually done anything, wanting to save himself for his wife. A fact she was most happy about. 
She loved Jace, she realised. He was everything she did not expect, though he was chatty and loud, he was also kind and sweet, a perfect gentleman. She and him had more in common than not, they both loved to read though Jace found little time to do so, so was more than happy to listen to her ramble on and on about the last book she read. She had shown him how to paint and draw, a skill he, though terrible at, found rather enjoyable, especially when he got the flicking paint at her. She herself had even found she loved a few of his hobbies or well if you can call sword fighting a hobby. 
she remembered the morning, it was still early in their courtship, the first week in.  She and Jace had yet to sleep and yet they could see dawn breaking through the windows in his room. They had spent the whole day and night talking, getting to know each other. “it’s dawn already?” Jace sighed as he moved from his spot on the sofa. she sighed from the movement, missing his warmth. 
“it’s seems so” she hummed 
“it’ll be time for training soon.” he spoke, not necessarily to her. 
“Do you train alone?” 
“Here I do, On Dragonstone Daemon is typically dragging me and Luke out of bed the second the sun begins to rise but here he has no desire to train” he looked at her, “why don’t you join me?” he asked.
“i have never even touched a sword” she exclaimed, as if the idea was a mad one.
He grinned “exactly, it’ll be most entertaining!”
she laughed, “fine, but you must promise to show me your high Valyrian!” y/n declared, he had been complaining how bad his Valyrian was but refused to show her, despite her being fluent and offering to teach him.
He sighed, then a big grin filled his face “very well, let us teach one another, i teach you in swordsmanship and you teach me high Valyrian” 
she laughed “very well! though i make no promises to these swordplay lessons!”
They met again in the training yard, both in training clothes. She had borrowed hers from Jace and she was sure he was trying to sabotage her. His clothes hung from her in an almost comical way, he himself had laughed as she nearly tripped netting the training yard.
“you look beautiful” he said though his eyes were full of mirth as he took in the way his clothes hung from her.
“Perhaps you could have given me some of Luke's clothes instead” she sighed, a frown forming her face as she hung her arm up to show just how big his sleeves were compared to her arms.
“Next time we shall!” he declared, stopping his laughter to then pass her a wooden sword “for now it’s fine.” 
The sword was heavier than she was expecting, as shown by how she nearly dropped it.
“do you do any exercise?” he asked, seeing her near miss with the sword.
she scoffed “no, do i look like someone who does?” she asked bewildered.
he laughed “no i suppose not, and knowing you it doesn't surprise me that you do not” he took the sword off her “perhaps we should start with some exercise”
“what?” she asked, she hated doing anything that could be remotely referred to as exercise. 
“Don’t worry, just some light exercise, to build stamina”  he looked at her then, something passing through his eyes. something she had yet to see. 
He had made her run ten laps, stretch in more easily than she knew possible, And then finally let her hold the sword. “You know I was hoping you wouldn’t take this so seriously” she sighed, hitting the dummy repeatedly. Jace corrects her technique with each hit. “really?”
“Of course not, when you said it I had hoped we would just be jesting around” she sighed dramatically, before moving to place the sword down on the rack. “I think that this ‘lesson’ is over.” she started to walk away only for Jace to grab her arm.
“Wait!” he said, pulling her back to him gently. “Are you really not enjoying yourself?” he asked with a sad smile on his face. 
y/n sighed, before a small smile graced her face “no, but perhaps hearing you speak some high Valyrian may make it more joyous.” she spoke, though she was enjoying herself a little, though it would definitely not be a hobby she would be taking up, though watching him practice his swordsmanship, that is a hobby she will be taking up.
“I- really?” he asked, his face unsure, “nyk-e don’t ȳdragon ziree sȳr”
She laughed, his accent and pronunciation were all over the place, perhaps she was better at swordsmanship after one lesson that he was at high Valyrian after years of lessons, “it’s gaoman daor ȳdragon ziry sȳrī”
I do not speak it well
“See what I mean!” he exclaimed, as she continued to laugh.
“oh Jace, gaomagon daor worry nyke sure kesā jiōragon sȳrkta isse daor jēda” she taunted. 
do not worry I’m sure you will get better in no time
“I have no idea what you just said '' he sighed, shaking his head, “but at least i can hold a sword properly” he taunted back to her.
“Hey! It's my first lesson, have you been learning high Valyrian for how long?” she questioned, a gleam in her eyes.
“hāre jēdri” he replied, a smile as he realised he had pronounced it correctly
Three years
She hummed, beginning to circle him, “hāre jēdri? funny seeing hae heleanas riñar ȳdragon sȳrkta eglie valyrain than ao se issi balrey hāre pōntāla”
three years? Funny seeing as Heleanas children speak better high Valyrian than you and they are balrey three themselves
“I- well, stop taunting me!” he protested.
“Only if we can stop this, will I have reached my yearly exercise limit.. For the year!” she joked, dramatically falling, conveniently into his arms. 
“Fine, fine!” he said, “but you can not mention to anyone about my high Valyrian.” he brought her back to her feet.
“Oh please who would i tell? se lo nyke gōntan, skorkydoso would ao sesīr gīmigon?” she laughed, starting to walk away, only to have Jace chase her back all the way back to her chambers.
and if i did, how would you even know?
It was safe to say she never participated in his training again, but on the odd days she was awake when he went, she found she did in fact enjoy watching him.
It took a few attempts before they found a hobby they both loved equally. Painting. She had been painting for as long as she can remember, Jace however had taken it up about two weeks ago, but seemed to love it as much as she.
“Let's paint each other!” Jace declared, as he saw the paints y/n left out. 
She hesitated, “have you ever painted before?”
“No, but how hard could it be?” She laughed at that, but said nothing.
They sat opposite each other, their art facing only themselves. They gave themselves an hour before they would show each other what they had painted. 
Jace went first. He seemed so proud of himself. To give him credit it was fairly good, though it looked nothing like her. 
“It's good!” she exclaimed, “i like it” she reached forward to grab it “i shall have it framed” she hummed. Jace smiled widely at that.
“Show me yours!” he asked, or more declared as he turned the canvas around himself. 
His face was shocked, mouth wide, “i- wow” he was at a loss of words. “This is incredible!” he exclaimed, his face one of awe, “and you said mine was good!, you were lying!”
She laughed, “no-no it is, i promise” i grabbed his art then, comparing the two, before throwing his on the floor, “oh please, mine is rubbish, yours is wow! I think it shall become my official portrait!” he exclaimed standing up and walking to the doors with it. 
“woah ! where are you going?” she asked standing up to follow him.
“Too show everyone” he stated as if it was the obvious answer.
He showed it to everyone he saw, a blushing y/n on his tail.
“Mother.” she spoke, back once more in the present, “i trust him, more than anyone and anything” at that her mother relaxed, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, she saw a real smile gracing her mothers face.
The day of the wedding came, she had expected nerves and jitters, and yet all she felt was contentment. She knew she was lucky, most brides barely knew their husband before they wed them, and she knew Jace and he knew her. She knew his quirks, his hobbies, and he knew hers. They were polar opposites, and yet they fit so perfectly together. She was excited for this day, and as was he.
The dress she wore was her mothers dress. A white dress with sleeves coming down to her elbow before dropping down to the length of her dress showing a deep red. On her shoulder sat two dragons, dragons she had changed to represent Vermax and Gaelithox. The dragons were joined together and connected in an intricate pattern on her bodice. She wore no jewellery, only a small head piece, woven into the braids on her hair.
“You look beautiful” her mother declared. “Are you ready?”
y/n nodded, taking one final look at herself in the mirror, one last time before leaving her room.
The wedding was a blur, it went by so fast and before she knew it, Jace and her were declaring their love and sealing it with a kiss. They exchanged giddy smiles as they left the 
sept, their hands never wavering from their grip. The night celebrations went by quickly. The only time they never once left each others sides. It was the first event y/n ever truly enjoyed, they had danced four times that night, feasted to their heart's content, and enjoyed the first few hours of being newlyweds. 
Then it was time for the bedding. She had never been more grateful than when Jace shouted at the men attempting to drag her away, and he himself picking her up and taking her to their now shared chambers. 
“I am sorry for that.” he spoke, taking her hand in his, “I had made it clear we would not have a bedding, but -”
“Aegon had other plans' ' she interrupted, “do not worry, it's just who he is' ' she laughed.
For the first time in weeks the silence between them was awkward. Both knowing what was to come, but not how to start.
After a few moments Jace finally moved forward, he reached for her slowly, one had wrapping around her waist, the other reaching up to caress her face. They both looked at each other shyly, before Jace moved in closer, his lips capturing hers. It was soft and slow.
His lips still joined with hers they moved further into the room, his hand moving from her waist to her back, reaching and slowly unlacing the binds of her bodice.
“Are you okay with this?” he asked, breaking away from her lips.
She nodded, “yes.”  As she slowly reached to pull of her dress, leaving her in just her chemise.
Jace groaned his pants tightening, he reached forward once again capturing her lips in his.
 They slowly moved towards the bed, her hands reaching towards his clothes, slowly taking them off and leaving him in his small clothes.
There lips breaking apart, they both took each other in, before finally lying on the bed. Jace continued to kiss her slowly moving from her lips to her neck, his hands reaching down to her should and moving the straps of her chemise down, revealing her breasts.
“gods” he groaned, “you’re so beautiful” he said as he moved down to kiss her breasts. Slowly moving down her body, removing her chemise as he did, leaving her bare beneath him.
He was level with her heat, he had heard of kissing there and the thought of tasting her in such a way made a groan escape him. “Can I?” he begged, unsure of what he meant y/n nodded.
Jace dived in, giving a cautious lick through her folds, he groaned at the taste and quickly went back licking and tasting like a starved man. She herself was moaning in pleasure, her hands clutching the back of his neck, tightening when he finally found her bud.
Releasing the reaction form touching the small bud of nerves, he made sure to focus his efforts on it, sucking it into his mouth, and bringing his fingers up to her entrance, beginning to circle her juices and slowly tease his way into her.
Tensing at the feeling of the intrusion, she gripped further onto him, and started to move away. With his spare hand he gripped onto her and pulled her back to him. His finger now pully in he instead started to focus his intentions of pumping them in and out of her. Causing her to start moaning once again in pleasure, even more so when his second and third finger entered her. Soon she was reaching her peak.
He slowly backed away from her, pulling down his small clothes to revel his hard, thick long length.
“gods” they both groaned at the sight of the others naked body. He slowly crawled back onto the bed, his body covering hers. He once again took her lips with his, in a passionate and heated kiss, his legs slowly parted hers as he positioned himself at her entrance.
“Are you sure?” he once again asked, caressing her face.
She nodded, covering the hand on her face with her own and reaching forward to kiss him again, “yes” she consented.
He nodded, kissing her once more as he slowly entered her.
She groaned at the stretch, feeling at slight sting as he slowly entered her. Her face contorted in quick discomfort, but quickly faded as he settled himself fully inside her, allowing her time to adjust.
“gods, you feel amazing” he groaned, moving his head to her neck. “can I move?” he groaned, near begged.
“yes” she said, and he wasted no time, slowly pumping in and out of her. Slowly the discomfort faded and all she could find was pure pleasure.
Moving in and out of her, Jace was moaning, kissing her neck with each thrust, he had never felt such pleasure as he did in this moment.
Slowly picking up the pace, he soon found that sweet spot inside her, that turned her into a moaning mess. Wrapping her arms around his neck she was soon grinding her hips against his, chasing her peak, and he was soon reaching one of his own, spilling his seed inside of her.
Slowly pulling from her, her moved to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her towards him, he kissed her slowly and whispered, “I love you”. In that moment she felt what could only be described as solace.
That night, they did not sleep a wink, nor would they in the moons that followed. Their marriage was a harmonious one, one of love and joy. And when the king finally passed, and Rhaenrya was queen, there was no division of factions of house Targaryen, she liked to think that their marriage has helped branch the units, and make them once more a family.
Even more so when nine moons after their wedding she birthed their first child.
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