#releases a book of how to navigate the aflm world as a fatty
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200 chapter fanfiction on what really happened the night of 26th January 2019 at a house party in Richmond
#look i know it was just a regular invasion day party to you but to me it's all i can think about#sure it's been 5 years but i want the details#how did Alex fall into a gutter outside??? was he pushed??? did he trip????#how did his arm really get broken#why'd he do it on the same night as Brownlow medalist Ollie wines????#were there actually Curnow's involved#were there other Carlton people there#did Faz drunkenly say go pies and they hauled him outside and threw him in the gutter yelling good riddance#The rumours suggested Faz was trying to pick up a girl that was his mate's girlfriend#which girl#like Bella or grace or the cheesecake girl who fed him tiramisu or#or is that how he met Shae#she was dating some random and he tried to pick her up and the guy bashed him#Faz still got the girl anyway plus two other girls so who's the real winner#or Celeste or wait is Celeste a plow or a Marchbank i always get confused#both plow and Marchbank are the same person#or maybe Jamie reagan was there and she was accusing Faz of having slept with every girl#Faz not denying it so all the guys just took him outside and bashed him#The party was a mix of players from all football clubs#Devon tried to kidnap Faz but only got him as far as the gutter#trying to force faz down the sewers into his underground tunnels but Faz wouldn't fit because of his Beyonce bum#faz fractured his arm in the process though#devon screaming at Faz HOW DO YOU MAKE IT UP THE HILL SPRINTS IF YOU'RE SO FAT#faz just like I've got my secrets#releases a book of how to navigate the aflm world as a fatty#leaves a copy in the number 32 locker at carlton#no one read it but now Matt Carroll is really enjoying it#walks around the club like 'hey did you know if you heat up food it's less calories?'#microwaves all his donuts#matt studiously reading the chapter on hill sprints
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