#and also the only roommate he wants is Jeremy

[constant-book-hangover]

There is no better imagery than Jeremy + Jean having a silent fight about the placement of a cardboard dog.

[suncoved]

BIG MAN ON CAMPUS! — RAFE CAMERON

pairing; fratboy!rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary; you come to your first college party and have the worst panic attack of your life. who knew your knight in shining armour would be the captain of the biggest fraternity and the biggest fuck boy on campus

warnings ; panic attacks, anxiety, drugging, angst but like fluff!!

"Liv, i'm really not sure about this"

You're best friend and roommate looked at you with a blank stare, watching as you pulled the tight white dress down that had ridden up your thighs. She had dragged you out of your dorm only 20 minutes ago, telling you that if you didn't come she was going to wake you up with a bucket of ice water.

"Cmon babe, you made me promise i would drag you to at least one party this year. and i don't break a promise. Which also means that i promise if you don't like the first 30 minutes, then we can go home and eat 30 pounds of ice cream and pass out in our makeup"

You smiled at her, trying to push yourself through whatever anxiety was coursing through you. Liv was really a good friend, even if she was harsh about it at times, you know that she wanted the best for you.

The smell of booze and sweat hit your nose immediately as you walked into the frat house, the music blasting and the rainbow lights blinding against the otherwise dark space.

Liv pulled you to the corner of the living room, smiling brightly at you and giving you an extra tight hug. "Ok! I'm gonna go get us some drinks, stay right there and don't move!"

She had to yell because of how loud the music was, wasting no time before disappearing into the kitchen.

You stood in the party like a fish out of water, biting your lip as you looked down at your feet.

You'd like to say that you weren't that much of an introvert. I mean sure you liked to be curled up with a good book from time to time, and you were studying a bit more than healthy. But you like to go out and shop with friends, talk to new people in your classes and slumber parties on the weekends.

But parties were something you did not do. It had a combination of all the things you disliked most in life. loud music, people yelling, drinking, flashing bright lights and... frat boys.

You'd already been brought out of your shell at college, you were confident enough now to present in classes and partner up with new people on assignments, but this was pushing it.

You were a sweet girl, but naive. You didn't have enough experience with greedy men and even you would admit that you resembled a lost deer more often than you would like.

You lifted your head as you heard someone approach you, looking up quickly as you assumed it was Liv coming back from the kitchen.

But it wasn't Liv.

A brunette looked straight at you as you made eye contact with him, a red solo cup resting in his hand.

"What's a pretty girl like you standing here all alone in the corner" he stated, inching closer to you as you subconsciously stepped back a bit. "I'm Jeremey"

He reached out his hand to you to shake, only to receive a dumbfounded look on your face.

"Normally people reply back with their name, Babe"

"Oh! Sorry!" you replied flustered, repeating back your name as he grinned wide, showing his bright smile.

You didn't want to admit that when Jeremy was talking to you, you continually kept glancing over at the entrance to the kitchen, hoping that the next person to walk out was Liv, who was going to hopefully come to save you from this conversation.

"Hey, I was experimenting in the kitchen, wanna try my new concoction." Jeremy dangled the red solo cup in your face, the liquid pink and smelling of strawberries.

"No thank you. I don't drink" you replied sweetly, hoping to be polite and not upset him. "There's barely any in it, promise. Pleaseee, don't wanna hurt my feelings, do you?" He replied in annoyance.

A pang of hurt shot through you as you panicked, how could you have been so rude! Jeremy was taking time out of his day to talk to you and you rejected a drink he made you?

"Oh! no, I'm sorry. Thank you so much" you replied, taking the cup out of his hands and looking down at the liquid. He watched closely as you took a sip, your face twisting at the strong flavour of vodka.

"What do you think?" he smirked as he asked, bringing his hand up to your lips and wiping the extra liquid off with his thumb.

"Its- its great, thank you" you replied, your heart beating faster as you started to feel increasingly more uncomfortable. He watched you closely as he hinted to you to drink more, looking down at you like he was a wolf, and you were his prey.

You held back tears as you felt the room start to spin under your feet, your cheeks feeling hot and your hands shaking involuntarily. It hit you quickly that this wasn't alcohol that was making you feel like this, no, it was something else. Something much, much worse.

And you didn't want to stick around to figure out what it was.

"Um, sorry Jeremy, I need to go to the bathroom" you spoke up, using all your courage to push through the crowd quickly as he followed.

Your breath was now speeding up as you fought your way through the waves of people, your steps becoming faster as you felt the room spinning more and more, tears streaming down your face.

You didn't know where the bathrooms in this place were, but you didn't have time to think about that now.

You just needed to find Liv, or someone, anyone.

Your eyes fell on a room at the end of the hall, light spilling out of the crack where the door failed to meet the floor.

You didn't have time to think, just to act. Your balled fist made it up to the door, knocking over and over again as you looked behind you, Jeremy in the crowd but looking all over for what you assumed to be you.

You didn't even want to begin to imagine how stupid you looked, or how impolite you were being as your knocks became harsher and frantic as Jeremy came closer.

"Jesus, learn how to wait your fucking turn" a voice sounded as the door opened. you didn't even look away from Jeremy as you tumbled into the bathroom, accidentally bringing the person in the door with you.

"Yo, what the fuc-" the aggressive voice came to a halt quickly, but you all you could focus on was your breathing, which was out of control.

Your cheeks were wet with tears as you closed your eyes, bringing your hands up to your face and letting yourself sob. "I- I can't breathe" You let out, unknowing if you were talking to yourself or the person in the space with you.

You couldn't even handle your anxiety and emotions when you were in control of your body, let alone now.

That's the main reason you don't drink, because you tend to freak out to the point of no return, and this, this was much worse.

Your face was buried in your hands as the person softly closed the door to the bathroom. You didn't even register him softly moving you to sit on the toilet seat in the bathroom, kneeling down and removing your hands from your face.

You opened your eyes to see a man's face looking back at you, his features painted with worry and his body distanced enough away from you as to not upset you even more.

"Hey- hey. Its ok, what's wrong?" the boy asked, trying not to show how confused he was on how to deal with this situation. "Are you hurt?"

You shook your head quickly at his statement, your tears slowly coming to a halt as your vision became less blurry. You could now see his face more clearly. Fluffy dirty blonde hair, bright blue eyes, soft pink lips.

"Uh, um. Wait" He spoke, breaking eye contact with you for the first time since you entered the bathroom. He started frantically opening draws and cabinets, stopping when he found a box of tissues under the sink.

"Here" you looked between him and the box he was handing you before taking it in your hands, your fingers brushing past each other momentarily.

"Thank you, i-i promise I'm not this much of a mess all the time." You replied, earning a soft smile from the man. "It's ok, it happens to the best of us. Have you taken anything, or just drunk?" He asked delicately.

Rafe didn't understand what he was feeling at this moment. Because he'd never felt it before.

Sure he could be an asshole sometimes, He was rude and got into fights on occasion, and he had been known to make girls complete the walk of shame out of his room involuntarily after a big night out, but that didn't mean he would ever leave a clearly intoxicated girl alone at a frat party.

But this, this was different. He had to know what was wrong with you, and he had to fix it. Sure you were a mystery to him and only met you seconds ago, but he wasn't leaving until he knew you were safe and sound... and had given him your name.

"I don't drink- or, at least I didn't. This boy gave me something, it tasted weird. Then I got all dizzy and now- now I can't stop crying" You rambled, sighing softly and looking into his eyes.

He gazed back at you, running his tongue around his teeth before seemingly snapping out of the trance he was in. "Did you know the guy?" He huffed, obviously agitated with your reply as he ran his fingers through his hair.

You shook your head softly, a wave of sadness running through you because you couldn't give him the answer he wanted. Tears started running down your face again suddenly as you kept repeating 'I'm sorry' over and over again.

He lifted his thumb up to your cheek, softly brushing the tears away. "Hey it's okay, Don't worry. I'll keep you safe"

He didn't understand the feelings he was feeling, He had never craved to protect someone so much, He had never been this gentle in his whole life.

"What's your name?" he asked, distracting you to hopefully stop the flow of tears streaming down your face. He felt like if you didn't stop crying in the next minute, he was going to lose it.

You answered your name to him, earning a soft smile. "I'm Rafe, it's nice to meet you." He finished the sentence with your name, sending shivers down your spine.

"Liv" You gasped, making his head tilt in confusion before you shot up from your seat. "Wow, ma. Slow down, what do you mean?" Rafe replied, holding your hips to stop you from completely falling over. You sat back down quickly in defeat, your eyes wide with panic.

"Liv, I-I came here with my friend Liv. I'm gonna scare her. I need to find her." You gasped, your voice trembling as you spoke. "It's ok, We'll find her. Don't worry, it's ok." He repeated, desperate for your face to get back to your normal expression, aka, not struck with terror.

It was obvious to Rafe through the glaze cast over your eyes, the shaking from your hands and the drooping of your eyelids that someone had slipped something into your drink.

He had hosted enough parties at his fraternity to know what insecure, probably small dicked boys, not men, can do to women. And it revolted him.

"R-rafe. I'm gonna go to sleep now" You whispered, your body finally giving out before you could stop it, his arms quickly coming up to stabilize you before you toppled over.

He bit his lip as he tried to figure out what to do, pulling your body into his arms as you didn't even stir. He was scared. So scared.

He didn't know what you were given, how much you were given, what would happen after you woke up, if you even woke up at all.

He carried you up the stairs and into his bedroom, unlocking the door and locking it behind him again. His room was the only one with a lock in the whole house, because he was damned if he was going to walk in on random strangers having drunk sex on his bed.

He rested you softly on his bed, making sure your head was comfortably on his pillow and resting a blanket over your body after taking your heels off.

He looked at your sleeping form, your long eyelashes resting on your cheeks, your hair falling softly over your shoulders and your chest rising and falling with your breaths.

He looked at you one last time before leaving his room, ignoring every person greeting him as he made a beeline straight for the living room.

He scanned over the large crowd in the house, numerous people dancing, some making out, his frat brothers doing keg stands, and one very panicked girl going up to every stranger she sees.

Rafe took no time before walking straight to the girl in the middle of the dance floor, tapping her on the shoulder. She turns immediately to face Rafe, her face struck with confusion.

"Are you Liv?" Rafe asks, earning a confused nod from the girl in front of him” I am! Have you seen my best friend anywhere? She's about yay height, really pretty, heart of gold, she kinda looks like that baby deer from that Disney movie, she's wearing this white dress and-"

Rafe stops her ramble with a quick nod causing her eyes to widen. "What? Where is she?"

"In my bed" Rafe replied, remembering he wasn't all that good with small talk. "What? What the fuck do you mean, in your bed? What did you do? I swear to god-"

"Ok, calm down. Someone gave her something. I found her in the bathroom sobbing before she passed out. I put her in my bed then came down here, end of story" He replied, starting to get slightly agitated.

The girl he now knows to be Liv quickly walks off, heading straight for upstairs where the bedrooms are. Rafe rolls his eyes before following swiftly behind her, though he's glad that there's someone out there other than him trying to protect his newfound soft spot.

Liv halts at all the bedrooms, looking expectantly at Rafe before he walks in front of her and opens his door. Liv immediately rushes to you, still passed out on Rafe's bed.

She sits next to you, tucking your hair behind your ear before placing a kiss on your forehead. "Of course, on the first party she goes to, some sick fuck roofies her and she ends up in Rafe Cameron's bed" Liv speaks, not taking her eyes off you.

"How do you know my name?" Rafe asks, not even bothering to look at the person he's talking to as he focuses on your chest rising and falling. "Ha, everyone knows who you are Rafe. And if I find out you had anything to do with her getting hurt, I'm gonna chop your dick off and feed it to you and make sure everyone on campus knows it"

It would be a lie to say Rafe wasn't slightly amused by your best friend's words, holding back his smile and keeping his face stern. "I would never do that shit. Especially not to her" Liv's eyebrow quirked in confusion at the last bit of his sentence.

She knows for a fact that you did not know Rafe Cameron before this night, let alone any frat boys. Liv could cry at the sight of your passed-out form, taking full blame and responsibility for the fact that you got hurt when she was meant to protect you.

She pulled her phone out from her purse, about to call an Uber back to the dorms for both of you. "No, I'll drive you" He stated, not leaving room for an argument

Liv nodded slowly before pulling the blanket off you, your body involuntarily starting to shiver from the cold air.

Rafe walked over to his closet, grabbing his warmest hoodie. Liv looked up at him as he raised your body softly, placing the hoodie over your head and softly lifting you up into his arms.

Rafe walked with Liv down to the road outside the fraternity house, receiving hundreds of stares from people in the crowd. But he didn't care, all he cared about was you.

He let Liv open the door to the backseat of his truck, allowing him to place you softly inside before Liv climbed in next to you, placing your head on her lap.

The ride was completely silent, barring Liv's directions to the dormitories, but she didn't miss the way he was constantly looking in the rearview mirror at you.

It didn't take long before Liv was leading the way to your dorm, Rafe trailing slowly behind with you in his arms.

She flicked the light on in your dorm, Rafe quickly knowing which bed was yours from the multiple stuffies and pink blankets. He lifted the covers before placing your head on the pillow once more, knowing Liv was going to get you changed before she slept.

"Thank you, Rafe, for looking out for her when I didn't" Liv said as Rafe walked to your door, nodding curtly in repose to her statement.

He gave you one last look before he walked out of your door, watching as Liv was about to shut the door on him after saying goodbye. Panicked he placed his foot in front of the door before it shut, forcing it open.

"C-can I get her number, please?"

[huggybearhughes43]

omg can you write like a jeremy swayman smut pls there isn’t enough for this fine ass man 😞

You asked him?!

Jeremy Swayman x Fem! Reader

Warnings- enemies to lovers (ur not human if you hate this man idc), smut smut smut smut, PnV, anal penetration🤫, love bites, cursing, creampie, lmk if there’s anything else

Summary- Since the day you started working as the bruins management the goalie had it out for you. Nothing in particular set him off but now you two couldn’t go a day without arguing. Your best friend told you to forget your resent argument but you couldn’t. So you showed up to his apartment to ask what he meant by what he said.

Word count- 1.7k

Ever since the very first day of working for the Bruins, Jeremy and I had it out for each other. Nothing happened, but the second our eyes met we hated each other. Every bitchy remark or roll of the eyes had me closer and closer to slapping him everyday.

Soft chatter filled the air of the hallway to the locker room. The boys had just finished with their game and were on their way home. After every practice, it’s my job to close up the rink, which includes making everyone is out. I sigh as the last of the group walks out, or what I thought was the last.

I rub my eyes and make my way into the humid (probably from the showers) locker room. It was mere silent as I walked in. Looking down at my phone I run face first into a firm chest. I look up, so ready to apologize. My worried expression faded to an annoyed one when my eyes meet Jeremy’s.

“Could you take any longer? I have a job to do and an apartment to get back to.” I huff and put my phone in my pocket before crossing my arms.

He rolls his eyes and steps out of the way for me to enter. His hair was dripping wet with sweat and his eyes droopy, sad even. The team had just lost against the kraken. I rub my neck as I walk in, guilt hanging in the air.

“Look- I’m sorry, I-“ I begin but he cuts me off.

“I don’t need pity from some girl who knows nothing about hockey.” He chucks his bag over his shoulder.

I scoff, my arms never leaving the crossed position on my chest. “I was literally trying to be nice!”

“Shocker.” I bite my lip, trying to hold back a bitchy remark that was so close to slipping out.

“Fuck you.” I say, trying my best to not say something that I’d ultimately feel bad about later that night.

He smirks and rubs his eyes. “Word is you want to.” He shrugs and walks out of the locker room, leaving me stunned.

I do my job quickly and get out of the arena. Stepping into the apartment I’m met with the stare of my roommate, also my best friend. I’m slightly taken aback, “what?”

She breaks the stare with a blink. “Nothing, you just look like you’ve seen a ghost.” “Oh,” I tsk and set my purse and keys down on the coffee table before sitting on the love seat we had in our living room. “Jeremy.” I shrug.

Lana, my best friend, groans and spins dramatically before looking back at me. “Just slap him already, please, for the sake of your mental health, I’m begging you”

I smile lightly and look at her. “I wish” I start, “he said ‘the word’ was I wanted to fuck him.” Lana huffs “he wishes” “I just wanna know who told him that. Because let me tell you, that’s the furthest thing from the truth.” I pause, “you know what, I’m gonna ask him.”

Lana furrows her brows. “Like… now?” “He lives a few roads down,I won’t be able to sleep until I know.” I grab my keys again and leave Lana in the dust as I storm outside and back into my car. It’s five minutes in the car before I’m parked in his driveway. I contemplate for a moment then get out of my car.

I knock hastily on his door, not stopping until he answered. The bright sun setting casting a purple-pink haze on the sky. He opened the door with his brows furrowed, his eyes drop down to mine before his expression softens but only an amount I would notice.

“What the hell are you doing?” His hair was dripping wet with water this time, his chest shirtless, he was only wearing a grey pair of sweatpants.

“I wanna know what you meant, when you said ‘the word is you want to’” I cross my arms bitterly and a smile cracks on his face.

He steps to the side to let me in. I gladly take the offer, not wanting to stand in the cold Boston air anymore. He closes the door as I turn around, our eyes meeting again.

“You’re telling me you came all this way to my house because you wanted to know why I said you wanted to fuck me?” He crosses his arms, his muscles flexing. I curse myself under my breath for staring. “Is that not supposed to confirm my suspicions?”

My jaw drops with a gasp. “What?! No! I don’t wanna fuck you!”. Jeremy tilts his head with a cheeky smirk, “yeah?” He takes steps closer until he was so close I could feel his breath fanning across my face. “Y-yeah.” I clear my throat. “Then tell me to stop” “wha-“ my words are cut off by his lips attaching to my neck. Soft nips every now and then between the kisses made my breath hitch and involuntary moans leave my throat.

“Jeremy- this isn’t a good idea…” his teeth pull at my skin as he moves his head to be level with mine, a smirk playing on his now plump lips. “Why? You don’t like the idea of actually liking me?” The sun was now fully gone, the only light illuminating the room was the light coming from the lamp in the corner of his entryway.

I contemplate for a moment, liking him for a change does sound nice. I sigh and move up a millimeter, connecting our lips in a harsh, hungry kiss. I felt his shit eating grin against my lips, not caring anymore I force my tongue into his mouth.

“If you think you’re in control here, you’re crazy.” He loops his hands around me onto my ass. “Jump” he whispers breathlessly. I do as he says, my legs wrapping around his waist as he hoists me up. He smirks, “good girl.” He kisses me again as he walks us to his bedroom.

He lays me on his bed softly before crawling on top of me, our lips connecting again. I moan softly into the kiss, my fingers fumbling with the waistband of his sweatpants. He tsks “I wanna see you first.” He pulls away and lifts my sweater over my head, my black Lacey bra on full display for him. He mumbles a low ‘fuck’ and places a kiss on both of my breasts before looping his fingers around the waistband of my jeans, pulling them down. I was now only left in my matching Lacey set.

His obvious bulge shown through his sweatpants. He looks up at me as he presses a kiss to my stomach before coming back up, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. “And you said you didn’t wanna get fucked, huh?” My face flushes with a pink hue “it’s comfortable-“ “mhm” he kneels between my legs, kissing soft kisses before kissing my cunt through my panties. My breath hitches again as I squirm from the sensation.

He smirks and connects our eyes as he softly bites my panties before pulling them down with his teeth. “Jere- fuck” I moan as the cool air hits my wet pussy. He hooks his arms around me and undoes my bra, pulling it off. I was now left completely naked, squirming on his bed. “Jeremy” I whine as I tug on his waistband again. “Dirty girl” he whispers then pulls off the sweatpants that I had grown to hate.

My eyes slightly widen as my eyes drift down to his enlarged hard cock. “Flip over for me, yeah?” I nod and flip over for him, pushing my ass in the air for him. “Good girl” he runs a finger through my already wet cunt, forcing a moan from me. “Already so wet? Don’t even think I need to get you ready.” He squeezes my ass then I feel him press his dick against my entrance.

“Please~ I need you- I-“ my words are cut off by him easing into me. I gasp and moan out as I feel the sting of the stretch. He lets out a throaty groan as I squeeze around him. He bottoms out and the sting soon fades to pleasure. “Please move, Jere” he smirks at the nickname and retracts before slamming into me. I moan out loudly as I arch my back, my ass pressing into his pelvis.

Jeremy lolls his head back in pleasure, pinching his eyes shut as he pounds into me. I could think of anything but him and his cock as he fucked me dumb. I press my face into the pillows on his bed, muffling the moans. My head turns to the side, I gasp out quiet sobs of pleasure, feeling a calloused thumb prod at my tight asshole.

“Jeremy m’gonna cum” I manage to gasp out, my cunt clenching around his thick shaft. “Cum for me, pretty girl.” I cry out as I cum around his cock, breathing hard to catch my breath. He leans down to kiss my shoulder softly. “Where do you want it?” “In me Jere, I’m on the pill” I hear his light chuckle turned in a groan as he fills me up with his warm ropes. He pulls out slowly before collapsing beside me.

“We should’ve done that way sooner, baby.” He moves a hair out of my face. Still on my stomach, I smile softly. “I don’t think I can ever hate you again.” We share a laugh as he gets up. “Be right back.” Moments later he comes back with a warm cloth and a glass of water. He sits the water down on the side table as he moves to hover me again, pressing a kiss to my lips before cleaning me up with the cloth.

He lays next to me once again, pulling the covers over both of us. I nestle into him in a cuddle and drift to sleep.

After soft morning kisses and protests I insisted that I needed to get home to get ready for work. Jeremy pouting when I remind him I’d see him in a hour at work.

I was met with a judgmental stare from Lana as I walked through my front door. “You asked him?! And what did that get you?” I smile sheepishly.

“The best fuck of my life?”

~~~

Me when I got this request:

If Jeremy Swayman has no fans I’m DEAD

[nhl-stories]

Indoor Cat– Jeremy Swayman

Summary: Jeremy is excited to show his girlfriend Alaska, but she's not exactly an outdoor person

Author’s Note: Had so much fun writing this for @bqstqnbruin for @wyattjohnston's 2k24 summer fic exchange! Definitely made me want to write more Sway in the future

Word Count: 2.2k

“Sorry I was too lazy to fish my keys out of my backpack,” Catherine apologizes when Jeremy opens the door to his apartment.

“I wasn’t expecting you, so this is a nice surprise.”

She rolls her bike in and leans it up against the wall. Rubbing her hands across her face.

“I meant to text but I have a million exams to grade and my roommate was being a bitch and our air conditioning broke and I just had to leave.”

When she moves her hands away, Jeremy is standing in front of her with a sympathetic smile. He pulls her into a tight hug that makes her tension dissolve.

“You’re sweaty babe.”

Catherine gives him a shove, “Of course I am! No AC at the apartment and then I biked here in a million-degree weather with 50-pound backpack. I’m MELTING.”

“Sorry, my little ice queen can’t handle the heat.”

She levels a look at him that screams she’s not in the mindset for his little jokes and he bites his lips to hold back his smile.

After she takes a cold shower, she feels more like a real person. She throws on an oversized Maine t-shirt and makes her way to Jeremy’s dining table with a stack of papers.

Once she has a fresh red pen and her answer key, she gets into a sort of trance while grading. She doesn’t quite notice how far the sun has sunk when Jeremy comes behind her and wraps his arms around her kissing her right under her ear.

“Want me to order dinner?”

Catherine leans back into his touch, “Can we get Thai food?”

“Green curry and Pad Kee Mao?”

“Yes, please,” she kisses his cheek then goes back to focusing on tests.

When the food arrives, Jeremy moves her papers despite her protests.

“Stop, I have like so many tests to grade and only like two days to finish them and then enter the grades online.”

“Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take a break.” He moves the tests to the coffee table so they’re out of reach.

This is the price she has to pay if she works at Jeremy’s, which is a pretty nice trade off even if she fights it. Every. Single. Time.

“So, school’s out in a week… any big plans,” he wiggles his eyebrows at her.

Jeremy is clearly hinting at their upcoming trip to Alaska, which Catherine has been actively avoiding planning specifics. She’s not exactly against seeing where he grew up and his parents, it’s the rest of the Alaska Experience™ that’s making her apprehensive.

She tries to be casual about what she says next.

“I’m moving in August.”

Jeremy stops with a forkful of noodles halfway up to his mouth, “Um- what?”

“Yeah, I mean I don’t get along with my roommate and our lease will be up then,” she takes a drink to stop herself from grinning, “And my boyfriend asked me to move in, so I thought I’d finally take him up on the offer.”

It’s a tactical distraction from Alaska, but also an announcement she’s excited to finally share, now that she’s informed her soon-to-be ex-roommate.

Jeremy is around the table and practically straddles her to wrap her in his arms around.

“Seriously?”

He doesn’t wait for the answer before kissing her.

Then he’s pulling back again, “Seriously?”

He goes back in for another kiss, it’s not very good. They’re both smiling too much for their lips to really meet, but soon they get in a rhythm.

 Then Jeremy starts to trail kisses down her jaw and neck. Catherine indulges him for a bit before gripping his hair to pull him back.

“I love the excitement, and I’m excited to move in too, but none of this tonight,” she kisses the tip of his nose, “I still have to be a responsible teacher.

He buries his face in her neck and mumbles, “No you don’t, just quit your job.”

“You say that now while you’re not working, but come fall when you’re back to work and I have nothing to do, you’ll be evicting me,” she rakes her nails through his hair.

“Is that why Taylor is being a bitch?” He says once he comes up for air.

“I mean, it’s not helping, but it’s also just her natural state as a roommate,” she gives Jeremy a gentle push, “Now let me eat my dinner so I can finish my work.”

“Then we can finish this later?” A quick, but filthy kiss follows.

“Maybe, no promises,” Catherine gives him her best stern teacher face, so he knows she means business.

She doesn’t finish all of her tests, mostly because Jeremy is determined to be touching her at all times. So, to keep him from moving around, Catherine holds him in place; leaning back on his chest on the sectional. His hands have free reign and she’s within kissing range. It appeases Jeremy, but greatly slows her grading speed.

Eventually, she just gives up and lets Jeremy rush her to the bedroom. Claiming they need to ‘christen their bedroom’ as if Catherine hadn’t already christened it every which way.

And it’s enjoyable and wonderful until her alarm goes off extra early to make up for the work she didn’t finish. Normally, she’s actually a morning person, but at the end of the school year, her body and mind are ready to call it quits.

Jeremy calls it teacher playoffs. A stupid joke that never fails to make her laugh. She’s soft for his goofy side, even when it’s telling the dumbest jokes.

“Need any help before school?” Jeremy comes up behind her in the shower, wrapping his arms around her waist, hands dipping dangerously low.

“Not that kind of help, that’s for sure,” Catherine giggles while she turns around then moves his hands back to his side.

“You’ve already done enough with this,” she points to a mark where her collarbone meets her shoulder, “this is almost ‘have an awkward conversation with my students’ visible.”

“Consider it payback for you putting off the Alaska talk again.”

Catherine clenches her jaw.

“You thought I haven’t noticed, but the trip is in 10 days and you keep ignoring me every time I bring it up.”

“Yeah, cause you’re gonna talk me into exploring the Alaskan bush or something crazy, when I can explore an Alaskan bush any time I want,” she playfully gropes Jeremy.

He lets out an involuntary groan, before backing away, “See! You’re doing it again! Although great joke, babe.”

Catherine steps back into the spray, rinsing out her conditioner, “Fine. I’ll stay late to finish all my grading and stuff and then we can talk after.”

“Thank you,” he gives Catherine a peck, “And afterwards feel free to explore the bush if you want.”

Catherine rolls her eyes and gets out of the shower.

She gets dressed, thankfully the outfit she packed covers the hickey even with her hair up.

Jeremy is waiting for her with a towel around his waist, a bowl of yogurt and fruit waiting for her and a to-go thermos of coffee.

“Want me to drive you in? So, you don’t have to bike there and back.”

“Sure, but you’ll have to drop me off a few blocks away. Cause if my students see me with you, I’ll never get them to focus, and they’re squirrely enough this time of year.”

◊◊◊

Catherine finishes her grading sooner than she thinks, even enters all the grades online. Now there’s two things to not look forward to; planning with Jeremy and annoying emails from parents about final grades.

She checks the weather on her phone, the heat doesn’t seem to be breaking and won’t until the sun sets a couple hours from now.

She debates her options for a few minutes before deciding to ask Jeremy for a ride home. The deciding factor being she’d rather have an uncomfortable talk without first having a sweaty bike ride. The less time out of the comfort of AC, the better.

“And this isn’t embarrassing for me to pick you up out front?” Jeremy snarks when he pulls up to the curb.

Catherine rolls her eyes and starts to load the bike in the back, “I should have just dealt with the heat.”

When she slides into the passenger seat, Jeremy grabs her hand intertwining their fingers and giving it a squeeze.

“I’m just buttering you up before I tell you about all the Alaskan adventures I have planned for us.”

“I’m already exhausted.”

Jeremy squeezes her hand again, then points an air vent more towards Catherine.

When they get back to the apartment Catherine flops onto the couch, “Okay lay it on me.”

Of course, Jeremy takes that as an invitation to drop right on top of her, barely catching himself before his whole weight lands on her.

He leans in to kiss her. Once, twice… he pauses like he’s trying to figure out if he can get away with more. Instead, he decides to sit up and pull Catherine up with him.  

“Why are you so anxious about this trip? You’ve met most of family and friends, and you’ve agreed to move in with me so I don’t think this is a commitment thing…”

She throws back her head and takes in a deep breath, “No, but it’s gonna sound stupid and miniscule in comparison.”

“But I like the sound of small rather than something more fundamental to our relationship.”

Catherine takes a moment, trying put the words the right way in her head.

“I’m worried that you have not spent a lot of summer time with me so you have not seen how much I wilt in the sun and heat and generally want to die. It’s a very ugly side of me both because of my sweat and my attitude and I spend a lot of energy trying to avoid it.”

Catherine feels like she has to avoid eye contact while she gets this off her chest. Mostly because she can feel herself flush with embarrassment about her confession.

“And then you’ll want to climb a mountain or something and you’ll see that we are not on the same outdoorsy level and realize we just aren’t compatible,” she looks down at her lap in shame.

“Oh sweetheart,” Jeremy cups her face, “that is stupid. Alaska rarely gets over 70 degrees.”

Catherine lets out a surprised laugh.

“I already know you’re a bit of an indoor cat,” he smirks at the play on her name.

“I’m being vulnerable here and you’re making fun of me!” She doesn’t mean for it to come out so whiny.

“And if you had talked to me before this, you would know I’ve already thought about all these things.”

She cocks her head in response.

 “I would never make you face your least favorite thing, temperatures over 80 degrees, if there was something I could do to stop that.”

“That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said.”

“And that’s just the start,” Jeremy can’t help but grin.

“I’d love to show you the top of a mountain but everything there is so beautiful we don’t need to climb thousands of feet of elevation to see something great. I have so many options you can choose from, I made you a spreadsheet.”

“This is might sound sarcastic, but that weirdly turns me on.”

Jeremy pulls her into his chest, “If I really needed to do some crazy, difficult hike, I know people who like that. I’m going on this trip to spend time with you and if that means a flat, short hike, I’m going to love it.”

“Most importantly,” Jeremey untangles himself and leaves the room.

He comes back with a suitcase, “I bought you a suitcase just for books you want to bring. So, when we go out on the boat you can just read and look pretty if you don’t want to fish.”

“Oh my god, I love you.”

She gets up and jumps into his arm.

“So, you’re excited for our trip now?”

Catherine smiles and decides to show him with actions rather than words.

◊◊◊

Catherine has never been happier to be proven wrong, Alaska is honestly her ideal summer vacation. Not too hot, too gorgeous to describe with words, and the almost never-ending daylight made it seem all seem like some kind of dreamland.

The view right now is proof.

Book in her lap, Jeremy looking hot driving the boat in the foreground, and a glacier in the background.

The boat slowly comes to a stop.

“See something you like?” Jeremy smirks from the captain’s seat.

She shrugs, “this book is kind of dragging and I was thinking, you know I’ve never had sex on a boat?”

Jeremy raises his eyebrows.

“And we happen to be on a boat… in this very scenic… fairly romantic location,” she tries to use her best innocent, doe eyes.

In a flash, her book is on the ground and Jeremy is on top of her.

It’s something Catherine can see becoming a summer tradition.

[bqstqnbruin]

Just Friends Part 2

Happy Friday friends! Today I put a student in time out so it's been a long day! But here we are with part 2, as promised!

Warnings: This part includes a mild panic attack, swearing, and a sex dream (nothing graphic but heavily implied)

WC: 4007

Read the previous part here

__________________________________________

When Jeremy and John had left their numbers with the three girls, they had assured them they would only use the numbers when absolutely necessary, especially after witnessing what was now called “The Keelan Incident” in their apartments. 

Well, John had made and kept that promise, as far as Jeremy was concerned. He did notice his roommate on his phone a lot more often now, though. Jeremy also did, but only for Fran and Maddy. So far, he had used Emeline’s number to text her random memes that his teammates had sent him, the video of him being fed by his teammate that she still didn’t understand the context for, the various tik toks the media team makes him do, songs that he thought she would like to add to the playlist she had for her classroom, as well as the random thoughts and musings that popped into his head that he just had to tell her right that second. That is, before the two of them would end up on the other's couch, something streaming that neither of them paid attention to on the nights that Keelan didn’t go over or the nights that Jeremy didn’t have a game. 

He couldn’t help it, there was just something about Emeline that made him constantly think about her. 

“Jere,” Trent says, throwing one of his dirty socks at his teammate after what had felt like an unusually grueling practice at Warrior. “What’s up with you?”

“He’s got a girl,” John teases, the guys still in the locker room hollering at him.

He could feel his face turning bright red, knowing that it wasn’t going to help him when he tries to insist, “she’s not my girl.”

“Well, no, she has a boyfriend. But he wants her to be his girl.” 

Jeremy lets out a sigh, his phone buzzing in his locker sending his teammates into a frenzy.

“It’s your girl, isn’t it?” Trent asks.

“Still not my girl, and what if it is?”

“You’re in treacherous waters, my friend.”

“Trent, do you even know what the word treacherous means?”

Trent blinks, shaking his head as he, Jeremy, and John head out for the day. “Whatever. If you like a girl who has a boyfriend, it’s only going to end with you either heartbroken when she won’t dump him for you, or with you two together and him wanting to kill you.”

“He won’t even eat a pizza without throwing a tantrum, I don’t think he’s capable of murder,” John points out. “But, I don’t know. They’re a weird couple.”

“What do you mean?”

“Remember a couple years ago when Patrice and Brad were talking about Sloane?” he asks, referencing their captain’s stepson. “How Brad made sense as his dad even before he and Katrina were married?” John asks Trent.

“Yeah?”

“Emeline and Keelan don’t have that. They don’t have that sense. They don’t make sense.”

“John, what are you talking about? They’ve been together for almost seven years.”

“Yeah, and Keelan still doesn’t have clothes over at their place? He has to bring an overnight bag anytime he’s staying over? That’s weird. They’re together out of convenience. Fran mentioned that he was a creature of habit. He’s with Emeline because she’s a habit to him at this point.” 

Jeremy brushes him off. “You don’t just end a seven year relationship with someone on a whim.”

“I’m telling you, she’s gonna be the girl you dance with in the rain,” Johnny tells him.

“Won’t they get sick?” Trent asks.

“Not the point. Jere here made the mistake of telling me when he was drunk about how he wanted to dance in the rain with a girl that he loved,” Johnny teased him, throwing his arm around his roommate. 

“I don’t think I can live with you anymore.” 

“You signed a two year lease, you’re not moving.”

The three of them go their separate ways, John mentioning something about having to run some errands before heading home, leaving Jeremy alone with his thoughts. Of all the girls he could have liked, it had to be the one with a boyfriend? Fran is attractive in that scary unconventional ‘I could kill you with my thumb and make it look like an accident,’ kind of way. Maddy is covered in tattoos, but is the definition of ‘looks like she could kill you but would actually kill for you if she cares about you.’ 

But Emeline.

God, if Jeremy thought of his perfect girl, it was Emeline. She was who he had pictured when he was in high school when he thought of who he wanted to end up with. She was intriguing, the bright red hair and green eyes that gave her a look of sweetness that was perfect for her as a teacher, like you could tell her your darkest secrets and she would take them to the grave. He could see tattoos peeking out of her sleeves that he had to know what they were. She had the sweetness of Maddy but the fire of Fran, and Jeremy couldn’t stop thinking about uncovering every inch of her and getting to know every aspect of her.

But she had a boyfriend.

She had a fucking boyfriend who looked like a Ken doll and acted like that angry pink teddy bear from the last relevant Toy Story movie. 

He couldn’t help but think about what they could possibly have in common. They met when they were freshmen since they all played lacrosse, the girls on the varsity team while Keelan played club. They didn’t come from the same area, they didn’t have the same hobbies, they didn’t even watch the same TV shows from what Emeline told him. Their jobs were completely different, which was fine, but according to Maddy and Fran, Keelan was never too thrilled that Emeline was ‘just a teacher.’ Keelan, apparently, always made a point of telling Emeline that she was ‘too smart to be a teacher,’ which didn’t make sense to Jeremy. Wouldn’t parents want a teacher for their kids who knew what they were talking about? 

Jeremy didn’t even know what they could begin to talk about in their spare time. It seemed like they just sat there in silence, most of Keelan’s conversation in that apartment involving Fran verbally murdering him. He really didn’t want to think about what else they did if they weren’t talking. 

He just had to sleep it off. He had the apartment to himself for a bit, the girls were all at work so there was no blasting music, and he didn’t sleep very long the night before thanks to the fun thoughts running through his brain.

Jeremy just had to lie down and let his mind wander somewhere other than into the next apartment.

Jeremy knew he was asleep and dreaming, given that everything on the edge of his vision had that blurriness he knew only when unconscious. The five of them were in the boy’s apartment, Fran and Maddy sitting on the floor, Johnny on one of the chairs they had that faced the TV. Emeline was sitting with Jeremy, her head leaning against his shoulder while his arm was around her, her hand holding his. Her other arm was resting on his leg, tracing patterns on his skin, leaving trails of goosebumps on his thigh.

“Are you two doing anything for your anniversary?” Fran asks, her voice distorted.

“Jeremy said he has something planned,” Emeline says, lifting her head and twisting to look at him. He feels her lips against his suddenly, the feeling gone too soon.

“God, I can’t believe it’s been two years already,” Maddy’s mouth moves, the voice coming out of her not hers. 

Johnny winks at him, gesturing to him to follow him as he gets up off the chair. They walk into the kitchen, looking more like the girl’s kitchen next door than their own. “Remember that you have to go pick up the ring soon.”

Jeremy feels himself nod, turning and walking out the door.

He steps into a bar instead, one that looked similar to one he had gone to a few times when he was in college, but with that weird sense of it being slightly off falling over him.

He saw Emeline, her eyes lighting up like the way he hoped they would whenever he saw her. Like the way they did when she talked about her students even when she had had a long day. Like the way they probably should when Keelan got brought up in conversation.

She bounces over to him, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss, Jeremy noticing a huge diamond on her left ring finger.

This was just a dream. Real Emeline would never have wanted a ring like that. 

Her fingers slowly traced their way down from his jaw line to his Adams Apple, her hand becoming like a necklace on him as he felt himself tensing up in every place imaginable.

She kisses him again, her dream hand snaking its way down to his waist and tugging him closer by his belt loops. She gets on her toes to whisper in his ear, her breath tickling his skin and sending a shiver down his spine as she tells him, “I think the bathroom’s free.” 

The next thing he knows, he’s pinned against the wall, everything around him white. His pants are around his ankles and Emeline’s legs are wrapped around his waist, his hands holding on to her ass. He was not only with dream Emeline, he was inside her, his hips rocking back and forth in a steady rhythm while he heard her moan his name.

God, she sounded so good. His name coming from her lips like that was everything he could ever want to hear. Her lips meet his, just as he’s about to finish.

“Jeremy,” she gets out right before he snaps awake, his heart beating out his chest as he hears John clamoring through the apartment. 

“Oh, fuck me,” he groans, covering his face with his sheets. He just had a dream about Emeline. Not only was it a dream, it was a sex dream that felt all too real for his comfort. 

“You rang?” John asked, poking his head into Jeremy’s doorway. “Oh, wow, you, actually,” he stammers.

Jeremy unburies himself to see Johnny ducking out of his room right away, the interrupted dream itself having more of an effect on Jeremy than he had thought, especially with it being visible through the sheets. 

He takes the time he needs before venturing out into their living room, finding Johnny already sprawled across the couch with the TV on. 

“Sorry about that,” he mumbles, sitting on the other end of their couch.

“Tell me you weren’t thinking about Emeline, at least,” Johnny tells him, not taking his eyes off the screen so that he didn’t see the red creeping up on Jeremy’s face. “For fucks sake, Jere,” he scolds him when Jeremy doesn’t answer.

“It was a dream,” he tries to defend himself.

“I saw her in the elevator,” John says, flipping channels, “She asked if we were busy tonight.” 

“Oh, uh,” Jeremy starts to stammer.

“I told her I was but you weren’t.”

“Why would you do that?”

John shrugs, side-eying his roommate and smirking. “I wasn’t going to lie to her. She’s a teacher. She would somehow be able to make me retroactively fail the high school chemistry class I took, like, six years ago.”

“Didn’t you get a D in that class anyway?” Jeremy tries to distract him.

“Eh,” he shrugs again, “probably. But go hang out with her. Your phone has been buzzing with her trying to reach you anyway.”

Jeremy notices his phone on the table in front of them, not even remembering leaving it there before heading to his bed. He couldn’t see Emeline right after he had that dream. He wasn’t sure he could see her ever again.

But, fuck, did he want to.

He scrolls through his notifications, seeing Emeline’s text asking him to help her bring stuff down to her car for her students. Before he could respond, the boys heard a knock at their door, Emeline inviting herself in. “Come with me,” she tells Jeremy, her keys in her hand and a pile of stuff outside their door.

“What could you possibly need this much bleach and food coloring for?” Jeremy asks, following her like a puppy and picking up a grocery bag and the Amazon box addressed to her. That feeling of anxiety about seeing her again was gone as soon as she spoke to him. God, he was in way too deep already.

“After I spike my coworker’s coffee with bleach I like to leave my mark. They call me ‘The Dyeing Death,” she deadpans.

“Really?” 

“No, dumbass, it’s for a lab.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you for that first thing, though,” Jeremy teases, earning a smile from her. “Oh, I read that book you told me about,” he mentions, his heart skipping a beat when she smiles at him. The other night, he had been texting her while she was reading this book, The Glass Bead Game by Herman Hesse. She told him it was one of her favorite books from when she was in high school. He had to read it. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“What did you think?”

“I had no fucking clue what was going on.” 

Emeline laughs, the elevator door dinging to signal that it had arrived on their floor. They head in, in silence, Jeremy feeling his heart racing once the doors open and they step in. Now he knows where the ‘bathroom’ from his dream came from. It was the elevator.

He fucked Emeline in the elevator in his dream.

Jeremy starts coughing, trying to suppress his panic in any way possible. 

“You good there, bud?” 

“Uh, yeah,” he says, clearing his throat. He shouldn’t be around her, not like this, not after that dream, a sense of dread looming over him. “Just a tickle.”

Emeline nods, clearly not buying what he was saying. She opens her mouth to tease him when both of them are thrown off balance. The light above them flickers, the elevator coming to a halt with them stuck in it.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me. Again?” Emeline groans, putting the bags in her arms on the floor and hitting the emergency button. 

“Again? This has happened to you before?” Jeremy asks, his voice breaking as the panic washes over him.

“It happened to Fran and I about a month ago. This fucking elevator is past it’s inspection date.”

The two of them sink to the floor, Jeremy feeling his heart rate go up. He had never been stuck like this before, and he wasn’t reacting well. “How long did it take last time?”

Emeline shrugs, pulling out her phone and starting to tap away on the screen, Jeremy able to see her email app pulled up. How was she able to stay calm and answer a student while Jeremy felt like the world was going to end?  “Two hours maybe?” 

“Oh, god,” Jeremy says, pressing his head against the wall. This had to be another dream of his. He felt like something was sitting on his chest, stopping him from being able to breathe.

Emeline was talking about something, her voice drowning out around him. He tried to focus on what she was saying, the dream flashing into his mind and turning into a nightmare. All he could hear was a ringing, the light above them too bright for him. He pulled his legs to his chest, his mind’s only solution to try to make himself as small as possible. 

The feeling like he wanted to gasp for a breath to try to slow down his heart while having that same task feeling like it was impossible to do came over him, his thoughts racing a mile a minute while he tried to convince himself that breathing was something he could do. He was being crushed from the outside, while inside felt like something was fighting its way out. He put his hand on his chest, whatever this was coming on so quickly he wasn’t even sure he could process it even if he didn’t feel like he was about to die.

“Have I ever shown you this?” Emeline asks him in a calm voice. He opens his eyes to see her pulling up her pant leg to show him the tattoo on her ankle. “When I was little, the first movie I remember watching with my dad was Dumbo. Apparently I was obsessed with elephants. Every stuffed elephant we saw when we were out, I would cry until my dad bought it for me. I would be an elephant for Halloween every year until I was like ten.” Jeremy looks at the three cartoonish elephants that were walking across her ankle, the tail of the one in front connecting to the trunk of the one behind it. “They’re supposed to be my grandmother, my dad, then me.

“I have this one, too, which hurt like a bitch,” she tells him, rolling up her left sleeve and showing him her forearm, Jeremy only able to nod along while she talked. “But that’s because of the shading and all the different colors the artist had to use. It’s The Kiss by Gustav Klimt. My grandmother loves this painting, and I became fascinated with it after that movie in, like, 2015 with Helen Miren and Ryan Reynolds came out about it.

“Then I have these,” she twists around, holding her hair up to show him the ones on the back of her neck and behind her right ear. “Maddy and I actually have matching ones. We got them junior year during finals week. We were exhausted from not sleeping and decided at two in the morning while we were studying for our neuro exam that we should get matching tattoos. They really shouldn’t let sleep-deprived people get tattoos, but who am I to say?” Jeremy laughs, unable to hold it in as Emeline smiles at him when she turns back to face him. “I have guanine and dopamine, then she has cytosine and serotonin.”

“I have no idea what that means,” he says, feeling the lump that had formed in his throat start to go away. 

Emeline crosses her legs back up and puts her hands in her lap, positioning her body so it was perfectly flush to him, leaning forward ever so slightly as Jeremy felt himself doing the same. He hated that he wished she would reach for his hands, pulling his legs away from his chest and copying her pose, his hands right there for her to do so. “Guanine and cytosine are DNA pairs, and since Maddy was a nursing student, we both took a lot of the same science courses, so we figured, why not? Then dopamine and serotonin are the chemicals responsible for us feeling happy. They’re a little different, but they have the same end goal, just like Maddy and I.”

“Does Fran have any tattoos?”

Emeline laughs. “God, no. She’d love to, the three of us even have matching tattoo ideas. Our favorite one was three ghosts that were wearing different hats, all holding up a middle finger, which fits us kind of perfectly when you think about it, but I’m pretty sure Anderson would figure out a way to get me fired for that if he found out I had that. He already hates that I have tattoos, but since I can cover them up, he can’t say anything about it. Fran, however, is terrified of needles and of pain. Plus, her dad would kill her. He thinks she’s going to take over as CEO of his company when he retires since her brothers are incompetent when it comes to anything in the business world, and he wants to make sure she gives no reason for the other men not to take her seriously.”

The two of them sit in silence for a second, staring at each other. “Are you better now?” she asks.

“What?”

“You were having an anxiety attack. Or a panic attack. I still don’t really know the difference between them, but, hey, I teach chemistry, not psychology.”

Jeremy realizes the panic he felt when the elevator stopped was gone. He was fine, he could breathe, he had been laughing and asking Emeline about her tattoos without issue. “Oh, yeah. Thanks.” She shrugs him off. “How did you know to do that?” 

“One of my students on the lacrosse team at school had one of them before a game two years ago. She was so freaked out because it was a game against our rival school and it was for the conference title. I remembered reading that one way to stop it is to try to distract the person so they aren’t focusing on the panic but on something else. So, I started ranting about how the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland is based off of mercury poisoning. She comes to my classroom whenever she’s anxious now and we just sit and try to make each other laugh instead.” 

“You really care about your students,” Jeremy says, feeling his heart swell. God, she really was perfect to him.

“Of course. I teach at a school where you have to be all in for the kids. I feel like you need to be that for students no matter where, but at my school, that’s so ingrained in the culture that you don’t have any other option. And, I don’t know,” she shrugs, looking down at her lap, Jeremy noticing her cheeks turning pink. “I know what it’s like to need someone to talk to and not know who to go to. Or to feel like you can’t go to anyone. I don’t want them to feel like that. It’s one of those feelings that can send you spiraling, where you feel lost without knowing how to be found.” 

Before Jeremy can ask her about that, the elevator shudders back to life, the ride down to the lobby continuing again as if it had never stopped. They take a moment before standing up, grabbing the bags and acting like nothing had happened.

The problem was, Jeremy couldn’t stop thinking about it. Nothing serious had happened, but the entire thing refused to leave his mind. 

The next morning at practice, he didn’t even notice Trent coming right at him with a shot, getting it past him with ease. 

“You just let Freddy score on you, what’s going on?” John skates up to him, Monty yelling something in the background to Trent about his form.

“Nothing,” Jeremy mumbles.

“No,” John says as the two skate away, Joonas taking Jeremy’s spot in net. “You’ve been moping around the apartment since you got back from whatever you were doing with Emeline. What happened?”

“I like her,” he finally admits out loud when they get back to the locker room.

“Well, duh,” John says.

“Fuck,” he groans, taking off his mitts and putting his head in his hands. “What do I do?” 

He couldn’t like Emeline. She had just been a crush for so long, since he first moved into that building. Why couldn’t she have just stayed a crush? Why did Maddy and Fran have to have the music so loud? Why was she even better than the imaginary person he had created in her place in his head?

“Either get over her or get under her. The first one seems easier,” John suggests.

“You’re disgusting.”

“I’m right. You just need to find someone else to date. There are plenty of people who would date you.” Jeremy thinks on it, balling his shirt up in his hands and tossing it back and forth in silence. “Look, unless she dumps Keelan, you two are only going to be friends.” 

[everythingunderthestarsthings]

Ulrich and Jeremie - Unlikely besties.

This post was a long time coming, and will be the penultimate post in my Lyoko Warriors friendship headcannons. Check out the other posts I made: Yumi and Odd - Chaotic besties Aelita and William - Quiet Besties Check out my Code Lyoko Masterlist!

(There are no pictures of Ulrich and Jeremie on Google Images and I don't want to accidentally use someone else's work, so no images here.)

(I did find a really good fanart of them! I shall link it here! All credits to the owner of the art!)

Headcannons!

So hear me out.

Before the Lyoko mess began, Jeremie and Ulrich were the only two who went to Kadic as boarders. Yumi was a day student prior to the series too, but Jeremie and Ulrich knew each other before Ulrich even met Yumi!

Also, assuming that Ulrich regularly takes up martial arts with Jim and he met Yumi for the first time there, I think Yumi might have also been a relatively new student to Kadic at the time of meeting him.

It's been established in the show that Ulrich and Sissi have known each other for quite a while, so Ulrich must've been at Kadic for a really really long time.

And Jeremie is well-known as the most intelligent student of his grade, so he must've also been at Kadic for a long long time.

So these two just knew each other as casual friends in class, but never really interacted much since Jeremie was all about his books and Ulrich was trying to get away from Sissi.

But Ulrich probably had a very trustworthy reputation prior to X.A.N.A. awakens (I also made a post about my thoughts on rewatching X.A.N.A. awakens, which you can check out). He keeps to himself and fends off the principal's daughter who has a huge crush on him, to the point where Jeremie doesn't hesitate too much before telling him about Lyoko.

Ulrich also has a very good sense about Jeremie and was able to figure out his giant crush on Aelita (then again, Jeremie is adorable and is an open book).

As the Lyoko warriors got together, and with Odd being Ulrich's roommate -- again, nobody in Kadic has roommates except Ulrich and for the Principal to trust Ulrich might have to do with his quiet nature (also the fact that he thinks Ulrich and Sissi are still good friends or something) -- well, the focus shifts to Ulrich and Odd's friendship, and Jeremie's focus shifts to materializing Aelita, so their moments of friendship are blinded due to plot circumstance.

BUT Jeremie trusts Ulrich to keep Aelita safe more than anyone. Ulrich is the most protective of Aelita out of all the Lyoko Warriors, and Aelita looks up to Ulrich like a brother!

For that to have happened, there must be an unspoken trust between Jeremie and Ulrich in the first place, which I think there is!

And I think Jeremie and Ulrich are wonderful because

They both use their hearts more than their heads when it comes to their respective love interests (Jeremie virtualizing himself onto Lyoko to apologize to Aelita after a fight and Ulrich using Return to the Past to get the right lottery tickets that he thinks might help Yumi stay at Kadic).

And their family dynamics are opposite to each other! Jeremie comes from a household with loving parents while Ulrich's relationship with his parents are somewhat strained. I just think it's pretty nice, how similar and different they are.

You know, their contrasting family relations also play into their relationships. Jeremie and Aelita have a most smooth-sailing romance with minimal drama, while Ulrich and Yumi are on-and-off with so many hiccups, man.

I'm pretty sure Jeremie, Aelita, Ulrich and Yumi go on double dates after shutting down the supercomputer.

Also, ULRICH WILL BE THE ONE WHO GIVES JEREMIE "THE TALK". I'm so convinced of this.

Like ofc, Jeremie probably knows about "the talk" but he might have a moment of fear and Ulrich will be the one to set him straight.

And I have a feeling Jeremie was jealous of Ulrich once upon a time, since he was a really popular guy, but it was probably just a small phase.

[blametheeditor]

Under My Thumb

Prompt Roulette By Title

Everything in Character A's life seems to be going wrong- their car breaks down, rent's increased, they can't even find where they'd place their paycheck for the week. Being Character A's best friend and roommate, it's difficult for Character B to ignore Character A's struggles and worsening mood. Character B might not be able to cure ALL their woes, but head-scratches and words of affirmation are a damn good start

NOT MEANT FOR EVERYONE

Content Warnings: Cursing. Overwhelming thoughts. Mentions of treating others as lesser than.

Sometimes it's a hide under the couch day

______________________________________

Mike found Jeremy under the couch. 

Why was he under the couch? Because it was the only safe place to be while everything else was in complete ruins. 

It started with it beginning to rain right as Jeremy got off at work. He hadn’t brought an umbrella because there had been promises made it’d be sunny skies, but the bus was supposed to be picking up soon from the stop just down the street. Except it didn’t because it broke down, and another bus wouldn’t come for another hour.

So Jeremy ran home through the pouring rain, thoroughly upset and freezing by the time he got to the apartment. But despite being able to change his clothes into warm and dry ones, a soaked envelope taped to his door said he should open it before anything else. Meaning he was dripping wet and already miserable when he read the rent was getting increased starting next month. 

And the worst part? He forgot to change before searching his room high and low for his paycheck he tossed somewhere just yesterday. Which he regrets now because he couldn’t find it anywhere! He’s supposed to put it on the table right next to the door so he doesn’t forget to cash it in. But he was tired, and he brought it into his /bedroom/, and now it’s gone, and his entire floor is covered in water, and the letter is falling apart in his hands! 

So that was the last straw. He grabbed the nearest blanket, tossed the letter onto his dresser, and stormed out into the main apartment. Didn’t even check to see if Mike was home as he made his way across the space made for a giant. Plopped himself underneath the cough and wrapped himself up tightly, perfectly content to never leave again. 

Because it’s easier to stay under the couch. Not worry about his genuinely terrifying job that doesn’t pay him enough to survive on his own. Never have to face the rain and autumn cold ever again. And here giants can’t step to close or snatch him up. 

Technically he wouldn’t need a job if he’s just a pest like David says. Live in a giant’s walls and live off of dropped crumbs like a mouse. 

What’s the point of having his own apartment anyway? He can just live with a giant, a pillow could be his whole bed, and not even a full bite of the food they make would be enough for him. 

Would that make him a pet, though? Eggs says he acts like a scared animal. He’s always picked up without permission. Maybe he already is a pet and everyone’s just letting him pretend he’s a grown adult who has opinions that matter... 

That was when the door opened and Mike walked in, his soft cursing as he wrung his clothes out still able to make the air rumble. 

It felt like Jeremy was being mocked all over again. That a giant entering the room was enough to completely interrupt his thoughts. A voice so powerful it could be heard clearly despite murmuring. 

He would’ve gone down a familiar rabbit hole after that. Including but not limited to feeling invisible if Mike had gone to his room to change, completely unaware his roommate was in the same room as him. 

Which of course he wouldn’t, Jeremy was hidden under the couch. And Mike might be having a bad day as well considering he walked through the rain and also got the increase of rent notice. Maybe he didn’t lose a paycheck, but he might want to just crash in his bed and go to sleep. 

Except Mike didn’t go into his room. Jeremy watched the catastrophic shoes walk toward the door to the human side. Slowly walks the same path the significantly smaller had before stopping in front of the couch. Lies on his stomach in order for a blue eye bigger than his head to lock onto him. 

Mike hums. “Shitty day?” 

Jeremy nods pitifully. Pulls his blanket tighter around him as a shiver runs down his spine, a reminder he’s still soaked to the bone. 

“Alright asshole, we’ll take this one goddamn step at a time,” the giants begins as he lifts his hand up to count of his fingers. “We’re getting dry fucking clothes. Then our asses are taking over the couch. Then we watch a shitty movie, or we just go to goddamn sleep. Any questions?” 

There’s a part of him that wants to agree to the plan. Finally drying off after who knows how long sounds really nice. And so does falling asleep next to a giant that radiates heat like a living furnace. 

...but he can’t. If he comes out from under the couch, then he has to talk about the rent situation. And he’ll have to go inside his room that’s still covered in water and destroyed from the frantic search before. And-! 

“Jerber, your ass will get sick if you don’t fucking change,” Mike says. Wisely. Because Jeremy does not want a cold on top of everything. “Come on, asshole.” 

He’s stubborn enough to not listen, but he’s miserable enough to give in to the promise of being less miserable. Meaning he carefully stands up before walking toward Mike’s offered hand. Sighs in relief as warmth washes over him. 

“Holy shit you’re freezing.” 

Jeremy grabs the closest finger as they curl around him to help warm him up quicker. Honestly, he’d be happy just to let Mike hold him. His clothes will get dry in no time, and it wouldn’t be the first time the giant went about his daily tasks one handed. 

He’s greatly disappointed when it gently pulls at his grasp at the same time he feels the familiar sensation of a giant lowering their hand to the floor. Sends an unhappy look up at Mike’s smirk. 

“Go get fucking changed, Jerber. I need to dry off too.” 

The human sighs as he climbs off the hand. Shoos Mike away with a ‘hurry’ because as soon as Jeremy opens his door, he’s already regretting agreeing to the first step of the plan. Forced to face the mess of all his desk drawers flung open, dirty clothes scattered across the floor, his bed even managed to get wet. And in the corner of his eye he spots the paper that might as well be nothing but trash considering it’d be impossible to read now. Meaning they’ll have to read Mike’s letter. Meaning the big red letters will be as tall as him and somehow even more foreboding than before. 

What did he come here to do? 

Jeremy takes a deep breath before shivering at the AC attempting to freeze him to death. Remembering he’s supposed to dry off and join Mike on the couch. That’s it. One step at a time. 

The only problem is Jeremy finishes getting dressed before Mike does. He’s not soaking anymore, instead of the uniform he’s never found incredibly comfortable he’s wearing a soft sweater and pants. But now he’s alone, staring across the vast expanse of the room to the giant bedroom door currently closed. 

It’s almost mocking him, saying Mike won’t be coming back out. That the giant fell into bed and went to sleep, trusting Jeremy to then get into his own bed. Because it was a long night for both of them, and decided to crash on what’s meant to be slept on and a hundred times more comfortable than the couch. 

And why wouldn’t he? He didn’t make a giant mess of his room like Jeremy did. It’s Jeremy’s fault for ruining a perfectly good bed, and- 

The footsteps were completely unnoticed up until they were close enough to make the ground near Jeremy jump, eliciting a squeak right as a hand sweeps him up. Mike then carries him to the couch, the giant lying down with a yawn before grabbing the blanket hanging off the back to toss over them. 

Yes, them. It’s tradition Mike has Jeremy tumble onto his chest right as the blanket falls so the human gets caught under the heavy cloth. 

“M-M-Mike!” 

The giant’s laugh makes an earthquake, leaving Jeremy to curl into a ball so he’s not thrown around too much. “There you go, bastard.” 

Mike only gives a wide smile at the glare given that he earned. But at least Jeremy isn’t lost in the blanket anymore. Able to actually see and pull on the material to bundle himself up. 

...this is a lot better than being under the couch. Warmer. His friend close. Everything just a little less daunting. 

It’s times like these he’s convinced Mike thinks like him. They don’t really talk about it, but the giant’s always there when the world gets a little too overwhelming. Knows all the right things to say and do. It’s nice to have a friend like that, one who has his back. 

Literally, too, a hand surrounding him as a thumb rubs his side. Jeremy all to happy to be completely surrounded by warmth. 

“So, about the r-r-rent...” 

“Nope,” Mike yawns, his arm tugged behind his head as he closes his eyes. “That fucking things for tomorrow.” 

“But-!” 

Jeremy’s silenced by the thumb covering his entire face. He squirms, yells when the ground beneath him jumps again from Mike’s laughter, shoves the fingers away before they pin him down. 

“Sorry. Sleep, asshole.” 

...fine. They’ll deal with it tomorrow. 

“Th-Th-Thanks, Mike,” Jeremy murmurs as he pulls the blanket closer, falling asleep to soft snores, planning on how he’ll get the giant’s help in fixing his room too.

[that-darn-clown]

listened to Twin Size Mattress by The Front Bottoms and thought of Rewrite!Mike, Jeremy, and Andrew.

specifically these two parts with Mike and Andrew:

"It's no big surprise

you turned out this way,

when they close(d?) their eyes

and prayed you would change.

They cut your hair,

and sent you away.

You stopped by my house

the night you escaped."

so like. Andy isn't gay (they're aroace), but he is a demiboy, and thus appears/dresses a bit more femininely (such as having longer hair, wearing eyeliner, and painting his nails) so their dad, the way he is, along with seeing how much Andy leaves to go stay with Mike or Jeremy, assumes he is. this led to many arguments between the two of them, as well as threats of Andy being sent to one of those troubled teen camps (bad) or to what effectively amounted to conversion therapy (even fucking worse). it came to a head one night in 1987 when their dad cut some of their hair off during an argument, and Andrew packs some of his stuff up and leaves, not having a clear plan yet. but they stop at the Afton house to say goodbye to Mike first.

(the first two lines could also apply to how Andy ended up having an alcoholism problem like his dad. y'know the whole Genetic Thing That Can Make You More Prone To Alcoholism/Addiction thing? yeah...that. "It's No Big Surprise You Turned Out This Way.")

"With tears in my eyes,

I begged you to stay.

You said 'Hey man, I love you,

but no fucking way.'"

Mike begs Andy to stay with him and his family, just like old times. Mike doesn't want to potentially lose one of the few people he has left that he's still close to and who understands him. but Andy can't. for two reasons: for all they know, their dad will just hunt them down if they stay here, it's too obvious a place to stay. the other reason...well, now Andrew's suspicious of William. even if William would gladly protect him from his dad any day...who's to say he'll truly be safe there? if their gut feeling is right...do they want to take that risk?

so they tell him that they won't. they can't.

and at 17, while Mike is still only 16, Andy leaves town, telling no one where he's going, only calling Mike when they get to their destination.

they end up running into Annabeth (Henry's ex-wife) and her new partner (her girlfriend/"roommate"), and choose to stay with them. he knows them, after all.

and yeah...that's where Andy goes between 1987-1993. (< when they unexpectedly return for Fnaf 1. Mike and William were surprised because neither of them knew he came back to town.) :)

If I can just Jim's theme from treasure planet for a bit lol

Specifically what I am insane about is "or a moment to be held in your arms" he's saying I'm not a baby anymore, that they can choose the life they want. And he does. I'm normal

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

The St James Family Tree (x)​

( aside from Jeremy, Josie, and Joy, the entire St James family exists universally throughout all of my glee fics, though they so far only have set appearances in Get It Right, SOWK, By Its Very Definition, and Corner Of The Sky!  More details about everyone below the cut )

shoutout to @the-witching-ash for helping me develop this entire clusterfuck of a family

Tag List: @airwolf92 – want to be added?

Judith & Joseph St James ( Meryl Streep & Pierce Brosnan ):

The parents of the most unadjusted and emotionally unavailable family in all of Ohio

Jenny St James ( Nicole Kidman ):

Married to Lloyd Kline ( Colin Firth )

Judith & Joseph’s eldest child 

Neglectful mother and trophy wife to a DC politician

Johanna St James ( Kate Reinders ):

Married to Chad Channing ( Chris Pine )

The middle St James child 

Professional absentee parent dreaming of her non-existent Broadway glory days

Former roommates with Shelby Corcoran and Cassie July

Joshua St James ( Zac Efron ):

Sometimes dating Nell Baker ( Anne Hathaway )

The youngest of the St James siblings

Real estate agent in Lima

Jeremy’s guardian, legally as of s2

Part of the long-suffering parent club with Burt, Carol, and Brad

His apartment is well known as being a safe place for glee club members to crash if they’re avoiding being at home and he does have a ranked list of all of the club members

Roman Kline ( Aaron Tveit ):

Jenny & Lloyd’s son / Amelie’s twin

Dalton alum, Cooper Anderson’s high school roommate

Dating Cooper Anderson & Ash Astor ( Anna Kendrick )

Went to law school and is a licensed lawyer but he’s working actor in LA and sometimes New York

( also features in a Somewhere Only We Know prequel, Midnights, the Cooper & Roman Dalton era fic )

Amelie Kline ( Lily James):

Jenny & Lloyd’s daughter / Roman’s twin

Went to Crawford Country

In an eventual relationship with her high school best friend, Lindsay Wright ( Brittany Snow )

Bartender & manager at Scandals

Living with her Uncle Josh in Lima while she attends university

( also features in a Somewhere Only We Know prequel, Midnights, the Cooper & Roman Dalton era fic )

Jesse St James ( Jonathan Groff ):

Johanna’s son, not with Chad but he doesn't know it

An honorary member of the warbler inner circle since he was 10

Carmel High alum, UCLA dropout, now coaching Vocal Adrenaline

Learning to be a better brother

In an eventual relationship with former rival Lucille Newton ( Anna Camp ) 

Joy Schuester ( Lili Reinhart ):

featured in By Its Very Definition ( and various chaotic crossover concepts )

Jesse’s half sister through their father, April Rhodes’ surprise daughter

Easily adopted into the St James clan by Josh, Amelie, Roman, and Jesse

Full time disaster

The best thing Johanna ever did for Jesse was not have Chad as his father, only so that he could have Joy as a sister

Josie St James ( Lily Rose Depp ):

featured in Applause

biological daughter of Johanna St James and Bryan Ryan, has never suspected that she might not be Chad's

Has been acting professionally since she was 3, mostly in commercials, TV, and movies, was the star of a disney channel show from ages 3-8, has continued acting since, is still quite famous

Johanna was an obsessive stage mom to the max

She goes to Carmel High (a sophomore in season 1) and is a leading member of VA – despite this, she has always hated Shelby and absolutely hates the Rachel plan

But she hates Johanna more and wants to live with Josh so she goes along with it all

disaster bitch with mommy issues and daddy issues and body issues and attitude issues

Jeremy St James ( Joshua Bassett ):

featured in Corner Of The Sky ( and various chaotic crossover concepts )

Johanna & Chad’s youngest son and Jesse’s younger brother, not actually Chad's son – Chad suspects this, Jeremy does not

An honorary member of the warbler inner circle since he was 5

lives with his Uncle Josh and cousin Amelie

Absolute sunshine despite an overabundance of family trauma

Currently growing a backbone

[system-reset]

alright, well... let me start by saying that it can be hard for us to distinguish between actual weird shit and hallucinations, but this is the list Omen has kept.

I guess I'll start with the ones we encounter on a pretty regular basis:

the nightmare salesman

this guy is... honestly I really don't know what he is, in terms of entity type. but he's some sort of salesman. despite what his nickname may suggest, he isn't trying to sell nightmares. we call him that because he looks like he's straight out of a nightmare. we're not actually sure what he's selling, because he has perhaps the worst sales tactic we've ever seen: not telling us what it is unless we pay him first. admittedly, we have considered it, but he's asking for a type of currency we don't have access to. it's unclear if he's aware of this or not. aside from trying to sell what I can only imagine might be bees (his briefcase emits buzzing noises), he also offers genuinely decent advice and enjoys standing on the balcony staring into our window. not sure what his deal is, honestly.

current status: unknown

the great metal beast

upon its recent death, we realized that it had come here looking for help. I do believe now, 2 days later, that it was - regardless of its own impending death - not asking us to help it. instead, I think it was asking us to help the people in its stories. I believe this because many of its stories lined up with our strange recurring dreams. for now, it is too soon to tell for sure, as we have not had any of those dreams in the past 2 nights. but something tells me we won't have them again, because I think the beast was the only thing allowing us to access those worlds. I fear the worst for the boy in the slaughterhouse, but I cannot do anything now.

status: deceased, no longer on this plane in any capacity

Jeremy/the man in the corner

I personally don't know much about Jeremy, but I can describe his general form. he's a shadowy figure, maybe about 6 feet tall. he's relatively new to us, and only began appearing when we moved into this apartment, leading us to believe he may be bound to it somehow. if he's a ghost or spirit, that could have very alarming implications, but we just don't know. apparently, he speaks to Kody, but we haven't gotten any answers about he's saying. aside from that, he just kind of stands in a corner, with no regard for whether there is stuff in that corner (sometimes leading to us only seeing part of him, due to items already being there. he is incorporeal, it seems)

status: currently unknown, likely hanging out in the living room (favorite spot?)

the boy

one of the first entities we ever encountered, and continued encountering. the ghost of a young boy, seemingly not tethered to any particular item or location - however, information we got last year has fascinating implications... we described him to our mom, and found out that our mother (the one we dislike) described the same ghost having followed her. potentially tied to our lineage, unclear. we actually like having him around, he's a sweetheart. he just wants a friend, and we're happy to oblige. it seems that he can't talk, but we got some conversation via writing. he does not seem to want to share his name, so I have to wonder if perhaps his name is somehow linked to his death.

status: ghostly roommate :)

shadows

not a singular entity, but many of them. these fuckers, especially the ones who are more strongly connected to this plane, are a nuisance. they are not technically shadows, they're something from somewhere else, but they appear as shadows on the walls and such. those with a stronger connection have a tendency to make a lot of noise. thankfully they don't seem to be able to do much more than that. strangely, they avoid whatever area Jeremy has chosen to inhabit at any given time. this is mildly concerning, but for now we're not going to worry about it.

status: causing havoc

thats most of them, but I saved the most interesting for last...

dream bunnies

not initially included on Omens list, as they seemed to simply be part of normal dreaming, these little fellas are very sweet (most of the time). we don't encounter a lot of non-standard dreams, so generally we don't think to check the boxes on dream creatures, but at some point these guys started interacting with us in ways that were abnormal for our dreams. turns out, they're a nomadic group of dream entities, travelling through different dreamscapes. I can't recall at the moment what they called themselves, but they look like little bunnies so... anyway, when they started seeing us and saw us several times in different places they thought it might be worth talking to us. I think they knew Omen somehow, I dunno.

status: dreaming, probably

[sassysoulstranger]

Love interests Marlie

Being separated for more than 6 years was difficult for them, a time for two awkward teenagers in love.

I thought a lot about what other love interests they had in their lives.

On Charlie's side she had two partners before Michael, one of them was John who was a sweet and attentive guy, things that Charlie loved about him and made her feel butterflies but clearly things didn't work out and it was due to the lack of spark in their relationship, Charlie was a girl who liked to take risks but John was so laid back that in Jessica's words he is "boring".

Another relationship that didn't work out was with Mark Edward, they met at the pizzeria since Mark worked as a night guard and for her he was an attractive guy more than a relationship it seemed like a one night stand even though they didn't go beyond kissing and dirty touching, they ended on good terms but strangely Mark never showed up at the pizzeria due to a medical problem and she never heard from him again.

On Mike's side he was only able to have one partner who lasted a long time to his surprise, her name was Vanessa Roberts and she was someone amazing and special to Mike.

They were roommates along with Jeremy who also seemed to be interested in Mike although it was only limited to jokes, but he and Vanessa were something more, they seemed to understand each other perfectly like two peas in a pod, although if Mike was honest Charlie did not get out of his head and this was a problem in his relationship with Vanessa.

They lasted 3 years as a couple in college until Vanessa broke up with him, but they didn't seem to be that far apart as they were still there for each other and Mike could get over it.

Maybe that relationship didn't work for either of them, they couldn't forget each other and the distance didn't seem to be an impediment, they sent letters to each other daily and Michael was finally able to raise some money to go on vacation and see Charlie for a while, apparently both of them without realizing it were only reinforcing that feeling they wanted to repress.

Maybe it's a little silly, but I like to think that they gave themselves the opportunity to see more people after they split up.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats | Blue Ice (Marshak, 1985)

This is another film in the Film Noir genre that I watched because it’s Noirvember, the month in which we watch films in the Film Noir genre, but I have to lean less heavily on technicalities because this is a lot closer to the real deal in that there’s a genuine private detective element, plenty of sinister characters and even a femme fatale. As far as the protagonist goes, Herschel Savage ranks below my favourite porno private dicks, lacking the streetwise swagger of Wade Nichols in Punk Rock and sarcastic charm of Ras Kean in Expose Me, Lovely. But he has a nice reactive quality to his performance, looking convincingly weary and dumbfounded to the insanity around him. The fact that he isn’t especially forceful as a presence works in his favour here.

As far as sinister characters go, this one has Nazis as the villains so it does pretty well in that department. You get Helga Sven doing a pretty good knockoff Ilsa routine, and some non-pornographic help from the likes of Reggie Nalder’s pockmarked face and Richard Bulik’s teeth gnashing. And as far as the femme fatale goes, you get Jacqueline Lorians playing varying degrees of mysterious and sympathetic to keep you guessing. A lot of the narrative potency of the movie depends on her specific allure, and I must say that the movie cheats to make me like her by putting her in a cape, although it undoes some of that goodwill by cutting to newsreel footage of Hitler. This is directed by Philip Marshak, who also directed Dracula Sucks, and while both movies have similar levels of production values, this hangs together much better as a genre-inflected porno. There’s some pretty nice style here, particularly in the later sections when we get some frosty and hazy lighting, as well as the blue phantasmagoria of the conclusion when the movie goes off the deep end. It definitely delivers on the title, is what I’m saying.

And as a porno, while this is shot on film, the visual style feels informed by the SOV productions that were taking over. I’m thinking in particular of the scene between Herschel Savage and Danielle in a sauna, where the handheld camerawork has a looseness and fluidity that feels closer to something you’d get with a video camera, not to mention the use of dissolves. And as far as the sex goes, I will put it delicately that the Boingoingoing factor is quite strong with this one. The Nazisploitation element lends itself to certain exploitative framings, but for the most part it eases off the sexual assault, and the particular dynamics of these scenes, with male and female characters teaming up on another female character, on top of the fluid visual approach, make them feel more, uh, dynamic than these things often can be. It’s a credit to the strength of the first of these scenes that the cutaways to Reggie Nalder reaction shots don’t undo its power. It probably helps that Helga Sven is rather forceful in these scenes, although I did find it weird that the one act of explicit sexual torture she performs is giving a handjob and blowjob to Paul Thomas, who for some reason is covered in bloody scars. Maybe all the really bad stuff happened offscreen, but it wouldn’t have killed the movie to throw in some whipping.

The only bad sex scene here is the one where Savage’s sex worker roommate Shanna McCullough is raped by Ron Jeremy. There are the obvious reasons why it’s unpleasant (rape and Ron Jeremy are two terrible flavours that go terribly together, although the movie at least acknowledges how off putting Jeremy is as a presence). But even on a narrative level if feels totally superfluous. If you wanted to throw in a rape scene, there are more organic ways to do it in a thriller (and indeed, the movie has a similar such incident later, even if it doesn’t actually show the rape). There’s an interesting character moment after the scene concludes (which includes not just the rape but attempted karate by Ron Jeremy; this is not the first Ron Jeremy karate scene I’ve witnessed), but I think the movie would have been better off without it.

[zipzin]

The Law of Entropy (or Wynonna Earp is Trying to Ruin my Life) - Also on AO3

Chapters: 1/6 Fandom: Wynonna Earp (TV) Rating: Teen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Rosita Bustillos/Wynonna Earp, Rosita Bustillos & Waverly Earp, Rosita Bustillos & Jeremy Chetri Characters: Rosita Bustillos, Waverly Earp, Wynonna Earp, Nicole Haught, Jeremy Chetri Additional Tags: Crack, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Alternate Universe - No Supernatural, this is overly complicated and ridiculous, rosita just wants to be a good coworker, wynonna wants to join in on the fun, and they were ROOMMATES, extraordinary bad communication by everyon Summary: Rosita honestly had no clue that taking a bartending job at Shorty’s would have her way too invested in her coworker’s nonexistent relationship with her roommate and get embroiled in a scheme that is so stupid but just might work. And that wasn’t even mentioning the hot sister. She just wanted to get through grad school with less debt and entertain herself in this town that is way too small to have enough prospects to even warrant a Tinder.

“Your hot roommate is here.” Rosita said, delighting in the way that Waverly’s eyes narrowed.

“It’s Haught.” Waverly muttered.

Rosita waggled her eyebrows, “I know.”

Waverly rolled her eyes as she walked over to Nicole, who by the looks of it, had just finished a shift. They did this every night that Waverly worked late, where despite the fact Purgatory was smaller than some rest stops, Nicole would double check if she should swing by later and drive Waverly home to their shared apartment. It was cute, if not mind-numbingly nauseating when they stared at each other like they found the meaning of life. 

Rosita watched as Nicole gave Waverly an actual goddamn kiss onto her cheek and walked out the door.

Oh my god.

Waverly bounced back to the bar and Rosita asked, “Is your girlfriend coming back tonight?”

Waverly sputtered and her cheeks turned red, “She’s not my girlfriend!”

Rosita raised an eyebrow, “Are you ever going to ask her out?”

“Of course not! She’s my roommate!”

Rosita rolled her eyes, “So, that just means one of your bedrooms can be converted to an office or something. Extra space for free.”

“That is not how it works!” Waverly's voice grew higher in pitch, “It means it’s messy, especially since she doesn’t like me back.”

Even Jimmy, their most regular regular, chuckled at that. Rosita shot a look at Doc, but he just hid his eyes behind his hat. The coward. “Waverly, anyone can see that she likes you back. Except you.”

“She does not! I would know.”

“Would you? Do you even know what she does when she’s jealous?”

“Why would I know that?”

“Because she does it around you all the time! She tries to hide it, but it’s so obvious.”

“It isn’t! And she doesn’t do it around me!”

Yes,” Rosita sighed, “Basically anytime you get close to a person.” Rosita took a step forward, “She gets all frozen and clenches her fists until her knuckles are white, and only relaxes when you smile at her.”

“No she doesn’t!”

“She really does.” Jimmy piped up from his seat. Waverly glared at him and he held his hands up in mock surrender. “Nevermind.”

Rosita shot him a grateful look.

She had moved to Purgatory at the start of the semester, when her third sublease had been up and she knew she needed to actually find a place to live. Her last place had the worst pink and green decor that made Rosita want to puke every time she saw it. Waverly, one of her few friends at Ghost River University, had mentioned that the rent was cheap in Purgatory and that Rosita could probably get a job at the bar she worked. She had needed something since her position as a TA ended, and she was not doing that again.

Her only real possession was her car, so she had looked at the prices and couldn’t bother to look anywhere else in the city. Was the commute annoying? Yes. The bus that ran from the city and Purgatory never on time? Yes. Did everyone know each other, and the dating pool so small that Rosita had already slept with the one tolerable man? Yes.

But she was saving so much money on rent. And as a grad student in a field destined for research, she took all the savings she could. Plus, working as a bartender made way more than a TA could dream of even with the tuition reimbursements and she didn’t have to grade annoying undergrad’s shitty homework.

The people of Purgatory were certainly an acquired taste, but Rosita found herself enjoying them more every day. And for such a small town, there was a lot of drama. Not that there was anything as interesting as the absolute hopelessness of Waverly and Nicole. It had been funny at first, watching them flit around each other, and allowed her to get to know Waverly’s sister Wynonna, but now it was pathetic. And she couldn’t even imagine how the people who’d watched this from the beginning felt.

She had three more semesters at Ghost River University, and if Waverly and Nicole hadn’t talked about their feelings by then, she’d consider that a worse failure than flunking out of her degree. She didn’t think she was much of a matchmaker, and her subtle prodding hadn’t revealed any results but her mom had always said to leave things better than she’d found them.

Rosita let out a long breath as the last patron left and gave Waverly a weak smile.  Thank god that shift was over, she was pretty sure she was going to keel over and die. The only saving grace was that she didn’t have class tomorrow. Rosita looked at the front door and frowned, “Is Nicole coming back tonight?”

“No,” Waverly said quickly. Too quickly.

“Waverly,” Rosita said, “Why isn’t she coming? She always picks you up on Fridays. And she was smiling when she left.”

Waverly hid her head below the counter. “Why would that matter?”

Rosita sighed, “Waverly, for all the teasing I do I’m not going to tell her.”

“I know.” Waverly whined, “I just, I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t?” Rosita frowned, “Couldn’t what?”

“Ask her out!”

Rosita blinked a couple times. “I wasn’t going to force you to ask her out. I mean I’d like to know when you will, just for my own peace. And the rest of Purgatory’s.”

“We’re roommates.” Waverly stressed every syllable.

“Again, so? She likes you.”

“And if she doesn’t?” Waverly’s voice was nearing hysterical, “What, she’ll avoid me? Not reup the lease when it expires?”

“Waverly-”

But Waverly was on a roll, “I don’t want her to avoid me for a few weeks. I want her to never avoid me!”

“Nicole wouldn’t do that.”

“You don’t know that.” Waverly finally looked at Rosita, “It’s not worth the risk.”

Rosita shook her head and began to stack chairs, “Just think, you could have it all, dates, hand-holding, probably mind-blowing sex.” She glanced up to see Waverly began to blush, “You guys would probably get married, have bunch of tiny red-heads running around frockling as you look at each other completely lovesick. Wynonna would be a great aunt-”

“Stop.” Waverly’s face could only be described as wistful.

“Is it worth living with that kind of regret?”

The chairs were stacked and Waverly took the broom out, “Fine, does that sound perfect? Yes!” Rosita gave herself a mental high-five, “But she’s not interested in me.”

Rosita couldn’t help it, she snorted. “Okay, here’s where you’re completely delusional.”

“How could you know?” Waverly demanded, “You’ve talked to her maybe three times.”

“I knew in the first minute.”

The first minute had been particularly memorable, it was one of her first days on the job, and Waverly had been tasked with showing her the ropes. It had gone well, until the beer tap had erupted all over Waverly’s shirt and Nicole, who had just come in, had knocked three bar stools down.

Rosita had just taken a step back and watched the two with unbelieving eyes, and later, when she finally met Wynonna, had inquired what was up.

Wynonna had set down her whiskey and sighed, “When your best friend is in need of a roommate and you recommend your sister, you don’t think they are going to fall in love with each other. Hell, I didn’t even notice until Doc asked me how long they had been dating, and at first I was a little pissed. But then, they do this shit,” She waved to where the two were playing an abysmal round of pool, “And their sexual tension makes me horny.”

“How long has this been happening?”

“Two very long years.” Wynonna sat her glass down with a thud.

“And no one’s?”

“Of course we’ve all tried! They’re the two most stubborn people I’ve ever met, Waverly won’t admit anything’s there and Nicole just stares off into space when it’s mentioned as if she’s gone deaf.” Wynonna leaned in and whispered, “We looked them in a closet one time, you know, to make them fess up, and they managed to get out of it. I still don’t know how.”

Waverly snorted, “It’s not like I haven’t tried to see if she was, you know, I live with her.”

“Okay.” Rosita, “Sure, I know you know like, 5 languages, but I’m pretty sure body isn’t one of them.”

Waverly’s mouth dropped open. “I’ll have you know that I was Head Cheerleader.”

Rosita frowned, not sure how that was relevant, and continued on her point, “I mean, what have you done besides make the poor officer all hot and bothered.”

Waverly stomped her foot like a toddler, “I’ve you know, I’ve-”

“Every time you so much as look at anyone else she gets jealous.” That wasn’t strictly true, probably wasn’t at all, but the reaction was priceless. 

Waverly sputtered, and almost knocked over the stack of chairs, “She doesn’t.”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Waverly!”

“I’ll prove it to you.” Waverly’s eyes gleamed and Rosita swallowed, feeling like she’d stepped on a landmine.

“Yeah?” Her dad always said she never knew when to stop.

“Date me.”

“Uh, what?” Rosita blinked and looked around. The voice had not come from somewhere else.

“You say that Nicole gets jealous, pretend to date me.”

“Um.”

“And if she does, I’ll know, and I’ll ask her out.”

“Okay, that is an insane plan,” Rosita said, “And then what, tell her our relationship is just a joke? How would that go over well?”

“Well, no.” Waverly frowned. “We’ll just break up.”

“After a day?”

“Yes?”

Rosita sighed as she walked over to Waverly and put her hands on her shoulders. “Waverly, I love you, but I’m not letting anyone think I had a relationship for a day. That’s like a one night stand where the sex is almost good enough you’ll ignore how everything else is horrible.”

“Fine, then we’ll do it for a month.”

“A month?” Rosita choked.

“Are you in?”

Rosita felt frozen as Waverly looked sadly at the bar. She remembered Wynonna’s words, “Two very long years.” If this was going to be the thing to get them together, well.

“And at the end, when Nicole is obviously not heartbroken, you have to drop this. Forever!” Waverly added.

Rosita stared, “Fine, but I get to decide if she’s not heartbroken. You have to actually listen to me about it. Not brush it off like you usually do.”

“Fine.” Waverly grit out.

“And I get to choose my shifts for the next month.”

Waverly narrowed her eyes. “Fine.” She gritted out.

“Perfect.” Rosita grinned. “See you around, darling.”

It was a stupid plan. A horrible one. But if it meant Waverly was doing something about her feelings, then it was better than her lusting and mopeing around.

Right?

Rosita awoke to a loud banging on her door and rolled over in bed with a moan. It was Saturday. Her clock flashed 8:12 AM. She didn’t have classes today and her shift didn’t start until the evening, so why was someone interrupting the only time she got to sleep in?  

She padded out of bed as the banging grew faster, and swung open the door, not even caring that she wasn’t wearing pants, “WHAT!”

She wasn’t sure if she was more surprised that Wynonna Earp was up this early or that she was at her apartment. How did Wynonna even get this address? They’d talked like five times, not counting when Wynonna ordered drinks.

“You bitch!” Wynonna took a step forward and the next thing Rosita knew her face hurt. 

She staggered back. “What. The. Fuck.” 

“You’re dating Waverly?!”

“What?” Rosita asked, “God my coffee maker isn’t even on yet.” She whined as she rubbed her face. She couldn’t believe that Wynonna had punched her.

“Talk!” Wynonna growled, “I wake up to nine messages this morning. Nine!”

Wynonna shoved her phone in Rosita’s chest. Rosita barely caught it and she stared at the blank screen. “It’s off.” Wynonna grabbed the phone back and unlocked it and shoved it into Rosita’s face, her hand vibrating.

Rosita blinked a couple times before she could focus on the screen.

Haughtstuff (2:45am): Wynonna?

Haughtstuff (2:45am): Are you up?

Haughtstuff (2:45am): Plzzzzz

Haughtstuff (2:45am): Ok

Haughtstuff (2:45am): You’re not

Haughtstuff (2:45am): Your sister just told me she’s dating Rosita

Haughtstuff (2:45am): The other bartender

Haughtstuff (2:45am): Why didn’t you warn me!!!!

Haughtstuff (2:45am): What the hell dude

Wynonna (7:53am): wut the fuck?

Wynonna (7:53am): she didnt tell me that

“Umm,” Rosita blinked several more times and read the messages again until it faded to black.

“You know. You know that they are in love with each other.”

“Yes.”

Wynonna’s jaw dropped, “And what? You think you’ll date Waverly? What kind of masochist are you! Are you just playing with my sister!”

“SHUT UP!” Rosita massaged her temples, “WE AREN’T DATING!”

“What?”

Rosita sighed and gestured Wynonna inside, “I was baiting Waverly.”

“As we all do.”

“And she was all like Nicole’s never jealous.”

“Maybe she needs glasses?”

“So we’re arguing and she says she’s going to have to prove me wrong. And if Nicole’s jealous, then she’ll ask her out.”

“How are you going to prove it?” Wynonna demanded.

“We’re going to pretend to date,” The answer hung between them. 

“Fuck.” Wynonna said and sat down on a nearby chair. “I should probably get you some ice.”

Rosita’s glare hardened. “Yes, the kitchen’s that way.”

“She swore that she would do something about it then?”

“Yes.”

There was just the sound of the freezer being opened. “Really. Huh.”

Wynonna returned and tossed a bag of frozen peas at Rosita. “I’m just kind of amazed.”

“Well, she did. So, now we just have to show Waverly these texts.”

“No.” Wynonna said and then frowned sadly. “I wish, but Nicole would kill me, and I already know that Waverly would say some shit like,” Wynonna flung some hair over her shoulder and made her voice higher, “She was just so surprised and wants to know in case I bring Rosita over.” 

Rosita sighed, “Sounds like Waverly.”

They settled into silence until Wynonna cleared her throat and Rosita looked up to see Wynonna staring at her bare legs.

Rosita stood, “Now leave, next time you’re over here it better be with coffee and donuts.”

“As you wish.” Wynonna mocked. “And sorry, about punching you, I just.”

“Hey,” Rosita smiled, “It would be crazy if Waverly and I started dating. And a little insane. I may deserve a punch for that.”

Wynonna nodded and headed towards her door, “Didn’t think you were the type to sleep in negligee but if you have the assets you should flaunt them.”

The door shut before Rosita could find something suitable to throw.

“What happened to your face?”

Waverly’s exclamation easily cuts over the din of Shorty’s and Rosita blinks for a second before remembering that Wynonna’s punch had left a slowly growing bruise.

Several regulars looked on and Jimmy let out a whistle, “Got you good too.”

Rosita rolled her eyes, “Caught the bad end of a punch.” She answered.

Waverly looked like she was about to ask more questions, but Rosita gave her a pointed glare and she returned to stacking glasses. Rosita shrugged off her coat and stepped behind the bar.

“So?”

“So?” Waverly questioned.

Rosita rolled her eyes. How was she a graduate student? “So, how did telling Nicole go?”

“Oh.” Waverly’s voice was flatter than the guitar one of Rosita’s ex’s had left three years ago.

“Oh?”

“She, well, she just said congratulations and then she went to her room.”

“Okay!” Rosita said. “She probably went to cry or something.”

“What?! No she didn’t. She didn’t care at all.”

Rosita sighed. “Remember when I said you’d have to listen to me? To at least acknowledge what I said?” 

Waverly just crossed her arms, “How many times have you even talked to Nicole?”

Rosita sighed, “Fine, whatever,  have you thought about how we’re going to sell this?”

A look passed on Waverly’s face, but Rosita had no idea how to read it. “We can figure that out later, it’s not like we’re going to have to face her together yet.”

The door slammed open, “Hellloooo!” Wynonna called with a grin. Behind her a slumping Nicole walked in.

“Hi.” Waverly said faintly.

Rosita rolled her eyes and then kissed Waverly’s forehead and turned to greet the duo. Wynonna was grinning like a mad woman and Nicole just had a faint frown etched onto her face. “What can I get you two?”

“Whiskey.” Wynonna smiled. “Doubles.”

“Wynonna.” Nicole said warningly.

“Oh, Haughtshot wants triples.”

“Do not Rosita,” Nicole sighed as she looked at Wynonna’s face, “We’ll have doubles.” She mumbled out.

“And this is why you’re my best friend.” Wynonna said. “I’m telling you, the only way is to drink away the sorrows.”

“Sorrows?” Rosita said as she gave them their drinks, curling her toes to keep from laughing at Wynonna’s exaggerated wink.

“Um, it was a hard, a really hard day at work.” Nicole mumbled out and then drank half the glass in one go.

Rosita and Wynonna shared a look that had Rosita turning away before Nicole saw her grin. “Hey, Waverly.” Rosita called, “Keep an eye on Nicole and Wynonna.”

Waverly frowned at her, but wandered over. “Fine.”

As she passed, Rosita whispered in her ear, “Nicole’s having a bad day.”

Waverly transformed instantly and booked it towards the pair.

Hopeless. The pair of them. 

Why did she even try? How could Waverly not see the longing in Nicole’s eyes? Or how she looked torn between punching Rosita or crying? Or the sheer happenstance that her bad day is the day that Waverly is suddenly not single?

“Hi.” Nicole said faintly. “So that’s Rosita.”

“You remember her. You see her all the time when you pick me up.” Waverly said and pushed Nicole’s shoulder carefully.

Rosita turned around and saw Nicole looking down her body and then immediately shifting back to Rosita’s eyes, swallowing nervously. Waverly was on the side, watching Nicole carefully, while Wynonna was chuckling.

Nicole’s eyes lingered on the bruise adorning Rosita’s face, but she didn’t say anything, just took another long sip. “I’m not cleaning up after you.” Wynonna said, staring at Nicole pointedly, “You have to hold your liquor just fine.”

Rosita watched for a moment until Jimmy waved for another beer and left to the other end of the bar. They’d be fine. Probably.

Throughout the night, Rosita watched Nicole and Waverly carefully. Waverly was a little jumpy, nervous enough that she spilled a tray of drinks. Luckily, onto the floor and not someone else, but it was still ridiculous. Rosita wasn’t sure if she’d ever see Waverly spill a whole tray before. Even when she was bumped around at the height of hockey season. 

Nicole kept up at a rate faster than Wynonna, and alternated between studying Rosita and staring forlornly at Waverly. Rosita began to give Waverly little touches, a caress of her arm, brushing her hair behind her ear, and silently thanked god that they were at work and nothing more would be acceptable. Waverly seemed too skittish to even notice it was happening. Nicole stared until she was far past buzzed and then started talking loudly to Wynonna. Who was much too amused by the whole thing. 

“I’ll have another.” Nicole slurred leaning over the bar, “Actually, no I can get it myself.”

“I’m cutting you off.” Rosita said and batted away Nicole’s arms.

“Noooo.” Nicole whined. “Wynonna tell her no.”

Wynonna waved her arms, “You can trust us. I mean her. She’s the responsible one.”

“Don’t you have work tomorrow?” Rosita hoped.

“No. I’ll just be sad and hungover.”

Rosita looked around, but Waverly was on the other side of the room getting people’s orders. “Well, no more for you.”

“Rosita, you’re beautiful you know that?” Nicole said. “So damn beautiful.”

Rosita hesitated, “Um thanks.”

“You better.” Nicole waved a finger in the air, “You better treat Waverly right, okay?” Rosita nodded. “Good. Man, I wish I could hate you.” Nicole mumbled.

Rosita glared at Wynonna who wasn’t even hiding the fact that she was laughing.

“At least you’re beautiful though.” Nicole said. “Waverly!” Nicole brightened. “I was just saying that Rosita’s hot.” Nicole frowned at herself.

Rosita pointed to Wynonna, “Get her out.” And Wynonna didn’t hesitate, leaning Nicole’s arm on her shoulder and practically carrying her on the bar.

Waverly sat down on the sink, the fact that her pants were getting wet not even registering, “She likes you.”

“No,” Rosita said, “you should have heard what she said beforehand.”

“This is over.” Waverly said. “I figured it out.” Her eyes were filled with tears.

“No.” Rosita said desperately, “no.”

“You heard her!” A tear ran down her face.

“She was saying that because she felt she can’t compete.”

“Stop it!” Waverly almost shouted and Rosita was grateful that there were enough people that it was loud enough to bury their voices. “Don’t try to make me feel better.”

Rosita grabbed Waverly’s arm to prevent her from turning away. “Waverly, tell me that you aren’t this stupid.”

“I’m, I’m, not.” Waverly stuttered.

“Give this more time. She was drunk and heartbroken.”

“Yeah, for you.” Waverly’s lip trembled.

“I’ll prove that she doesn’t like me.” Rosita said, “I swear it.”

Waverly wrapped her arms around her and nodded, “Please.”

“I know when a woman is flirting with me, and that was not it.”

Waverly gave a watery chuckle, “Ok.”

“You understand, Nicole’s a lesbian, just because she’s in love with you doesn’t mean she’s blind.”

Waverly lifted her head up and stepped back, her arms dropping. “You’re sure?”

“Yes,” Rosita put her arms on either shoulder. “Now, are you ready to ask her out?”

“What?” Waverly said, “No.”

“Waverly, she got drunk, she obviously isn’t thrilled about the development. How often does she get drunk?”

Waverly ignored her question, “I’m sure she’s just worried how intrusive we’ll be and doesn’t want to worry about feeling unwelcome at her apartment.”

“Oh my god,” Rosita said, “You’re hopeless.”

“What!” Waverly cried.

“She’s obviously completely gone for you.”

“No,” Waverly straightened her spine. “It wouldn’t make sense for her to be calling you hot if I was the one she was interested in.”

“Waverly.”

“So, no, I’m definitely not asking her out.”

“You can’t quit now.”

Waverly hesitated, and then spotted someone, “We are at work, we need to work.”

Rosita watched her walk away and bit down a groan. Next to her Jimmy raised his hand, eyes sparkling with amusement, “I could use another glass.”

Rosita filled it and pushed it down with more force than strictly necessary. She crossed her arms as she waited for Waverly to return. But Waverly ignored her and started to organize glasses.

Rosita marched over, “We are not ending this on the first night, okay. This is going to work.”

“Nicole isn’t interested, we found out, it’s over.”

“No, I know that Nicole is, you’re just too blind to see it, and some little comment when she’s drunk and heartbroken means nothing.”

“She isn’t heartbroken.”

“God, how did you graduate college?”

“With honors!”

“We aren’t ending this.”

“Fine.”

“She loves you.”

“She really doesn’t.”

“Wanna bet?”

Waverly stopped and blinked a couple times. “What?”

“I can’t have you skipping out because Nicole isn’t pulling out a sword and dueling for your hand.”

“Nicole would never do that.” Waverly scoffed and Rosita raised an eyebrow.

“So, $100 that she’ll tell you to break up with me by the end of the month.”

“$100!” Waverly gaped.

“It has to be worth it.” Rosita shrugged.

“Fine.” Waverly said. “This will be the saddest $100 I’ve ever made.”

“I’ll put $15 in that she does something by the end of the week,” Jimmy called.

“Shut up Jimmy!” They both yelled, still staring at each other. Rosita held out her hand and Waverly furiously shook it.

“It’s a deal,” Waverly said.

“I can’t wait.” Rosita flounced away, “$100 and my friend’s undying happiness.”

“Ughh,” Waverly groaned, “I wish.”

“This is going to be the happiest $100 you give away.” Rosita reminded and then turned to some customers. This was going to work. It had too. She could barely deal with fifteen minutes of sad Waverly.

[lilicohirukoma]

Dead Meat Horror Awards liveblog cuz why not

- fuck yeah production budget, love the ghostface intro

- masters of scare-monies lmaooo

- fr the movies this year were sooo good and agreed horror needs more recognition

- i am fucking this cheeseburger UP Chef Slowik would be proud

- yay for the montage, i got lots of movie recs with it last year

- which also means nay for not naming the movies in the montage like they did last year

- but yeah hoping for at least one award for Black Phone, The Menu and Orphan (Nope and X too)

- MICK FOLEY FUCK YEAAAHHH

- damn he lost an ear????

- I don't understand a lot abt stunts so no strong opinions, shout out to all nominees

- admitting to a horror sin: I don't like Scream

- YESSSSS I GOT ONE RIGHTTT

- we are only on the second category and I finished my food 😔 shouldve listened to the guide and gotten some popcorn

- WHAT HAPPENS IN MEN? 😟

- again idk a lot abt digital effects so shout out to all the nominess

- shout out to all the nominees in general it's just that I have stronger opinions on other categories

- I want to watch Werewolf by Night now

- Yup Nope deserved it, didn't consider Gordy as a digital effect so makes sense in hindsight

- JASON AND TOM 💕

- Girl I hauled ass downstairs and back to put away my empty plate. My roommates probably thought I was getting chased by a demon

- I almost voted for X bc Dutch people were involved lol

- Understandable win, congrats Mad God

- YEESSSSSSS DEVON!!!!! CHUCKY NATION REPRESENT!!!!!!

- Are these awards only for movies? If no why no Chucky noms?

- Art the Clown-Bolton

- Is that Pete Davidson?

- Love The Menu but their kills were a bit meh

- But yeah Jeremy vs Star Lasso for me

- DAVE GROHL??? I need to watch Studio 666 now

- Deserved win

- THEY GOT MATTHEW LILLARD????

- Love me a crazy cult leader, wouldn't mind seeing Slowik win

- ESTHER PLS I WANT ESTHER TO WIN

- I voted for Pearl bc she is more likely to win (and would deserve the win) but god please Esther

- Grabber was slay too but not the best of the year imo

- Mia Goth's voice takes me out every time it's so unexpected

- Girl what........ what..... seriously?

- No shade to everyone involved w Art but... what the fuck really?

- Put me in the In Memoriam I'm pissed

- Didn't know some of these people died, for all: Rest in Peace/May their memory be a blessing

- LESLIE JORDAN I MISS YOU SO MUCH

- LANCE REDDING WAS PAPA LEGBA?? I'M SORRY I DIDNT KNOW

- when are we getting a podcast episode on AHS

- oh damn this category is getting tough already

- yeah I'm okay with anyone winning good job y'all

- oh damn we are already 45 minutes in

- congrats Rory

- Ok y'all can make it right give it to Mia

- Barbara Krampton ❤️

- Hearing the word Creepypasta in 2023 snatched my soul out of my body I need a moment

- Oooo I'm gonna have to watch Sissy

- I love Regina Hall so might have to watch Master too

- GET THIS CLOWN OFF MY SCREEN IM STILL MAD AT HIM

- Mia or Amber OR ELSE /j

- I love Keke tho!!

- YESSSS MIA YOURE A STAR

- I am SO curious to see what Jordan Peele is going to do next

- Hope it goes to Ti West tho

- Okay yeah Jordan deserves it too

- We already got this horror needs to be appreciated speech

- Idk of I like this long list of nominees, I find myself losing interest a lot and that is a disservice to the nominees

- Istg if it's Halloween Ends-

- Aren't all of these movies American? Why are they now suddenly mentioning nationalities?

- But yeah Orphan isn't going to win but I want it to

- Pearl's dad deserved better

- Chad's Revenge looks really fun I'm gonna have to watch this one too

- Not Scream Not Scream Not Scream

- ALL THESE MOVIES ARE AMERICAN STOP SAYING AMERICAN FILM

- Oh he did actually stop. My power 💅

- Pearl is just that girl!!

- Love Mike Flanagan 💜

- I hope the Black Phone wins, this movie had me in awe in the cinema

- THE DIRECTOR FOR BODIES IS DUTCH??? NEVERMIND BODIES BODIES BODIES SWEEP

- Yeah idk Fresh just doesn't interest me

- THE MENU FUCK YEAHHH

- Considering Nope won fan I hope it won't win

- DUTCH?? Alright I'll watch Speak No Evil

- Are you.... for real?? Way to end the ceremony on a low note

[ereardon]

Thank you for tagging me in your new Bradley fic, the first chapter was so good! I absolutely love the drama of last minute pre wedding confessions 😱

I loved the flashback parts, it’s such a cool way to tell the story of the relationship between the three of them. I feel for Bradley, I really do, damn you Jeremy for swooping in and stealing the girl!

I’m conflicted though because you haven’t painted Jeremy as a bad guy, and it is kinda an asshole move for Bradley to drop such a huge bombshell right before the wedding! I don’t know what she is going to choose so I’m super excited for the next part 🥰

I also really loved the part where Bradley was sleeping outside his dorm because he knew she and his roommate were in there - like he didn’t want to crash in and ruin anything for them. And her still reassured her that Jeremy was a good guy because he’s such a good friend! (It also made me glad that I had my own room at uni 😂 I could not cope with being shut out because my friend was in there getting busy!)

I shall stop rambling now - hope you’re having a great day!

Aww I'm glad you liked it!! The idea literally came to me this morning and I just HAD to write it down — I literally wrote it in maybe two hours I think.

I kind of did that on purpose! Jeremy isn't really a bad guy, because I think if something like this were to happen it can't be so black and white as to be like "Jeremy is bad, Bradley is good." Sometimes you just have to choose, even when the choice isn't obvious. But it is kind of a dick move for Bradley to drop that the night before the wedding. If someone had done that to ME the night before my wedding? HAH. I was also a wreck. My MOH had to talk me out of trying on my dress three times because I was convinced it wouldn't fit (the last fitting had been 2 weeks before) and I woke up at 6am the next day in a blind panic about it. BUT it fit and everything went smoothly!

Ugh honestly Bradley having to sleep in the hallway was the only so-called "con" against Jeremy I think? Like he should have had the decency to at least walk her home or call her an Uber IMO? But Bradley was there to do it 😭

I only had a roommate for one year of college (otherwise it was singles or single rooms in a shared apartment) and I only got kicked out of my room once for my roommate to sleep with some rando frat dude 😒 Not my fav thing from college lol.

Hopefully should get working on part 2 soon!

[borkadonk]

the fuckinuhhhh au thing

HMMMMM YEAH DONT WANNA SPAM TWITTER WITH LONG ASS THREADS SO IM PUTTING IT HERE FEEL FREE TO READ MY BRAIN DAMAGE AND DEAL WITH THE FUCKIN BLOCK OF RAMBLING TEXT IDC FUCK YOU

okay so explanation or somewhat of a plot but more of a prologue ish

amigos are roommates and work for the public safety bureau, twins go out devil hunting and jeremy just helps with devil research and work at home most of the time cuz he's lazy and a fuckin pussy he cannot fight devils lmao. one night at a pub or whatever the fuckin loser drank too much and got alcohol poisoning and just dropped dead at an alleyway, but just as his heart was shutting down the toast devil falls from the sky and fuckin dying, seeing the fresh dead body of jeremy he took over it for survival. now usually at this point he'd just run around endlessly trying to hide cuz y’know fiends gets killed and all but weirdly enough, he not only gained jeremys personality but also memories, at least most of it, its cuz he took over the body before the brain died probably lmao. so he knows where jeremy lives and he beelines straight to his apartment for shelter, a few hours later the twins come home to their roommate suddenly being a fiend. a moment of shock and grief wash over them of course but being professional devil hunters they knew what they had to do, they were always prepared to lose comrades but not someone who was never in the frontlines. that moment of shock confusion and hesitation was enough for toast to think of a bluff by saying that he's still jeremy, rae immediately throw personal questions and he managed to answer all of them, very convincingly too, syk wasn't convinced but didn't wanna kill either, not cuz of attachment but cuz of interest for how this phenomenon could happen, its not everyday that devils can bluff to be their host and realistically too. rae wanted to believe that he really was still jeremy but syk assured that it's not possible for them to still be classified as human when they look like,,, that. syk explaining that to rae kinda just freaked her out more cuz she feels like hanging out with some impostor so now she really wanted to kill him. cuz of the twins disagreement they took him to the bureau for a third opinion, from their division leader lily to be exact. lily was also confused at toasts existence, not sure if he's a hybrid or fiend or fused or whatever, so she resolved to treating him like any other devil with higher intelligence, hiring him as a devil hunter. which they don’t expect him to last long cuz jeremy was never known to be good at combat and the devil isn't very powerful either lmao, but one thing they do have in common is knowing how to run away and that's what he did for most missions. the bureau thought it was worth it anyways to somewhat make use of him even if it's not much, they were fully expecting him to die soon and consider it as like a community service or more like delayed death sentence for the toast devil for possessing a valued researcher

yea unsurprisingly, this au is also just another excuse for me to draw bread abuse but with plot, devils and fiends regenerate with blood so as they say he’s an unbreakable toy ehEHEHEHE

but also everyone suffers in this au cuz im evil like that y’know and so is fujimoto like what did you expect from a csm au really no happiness is ever allowed in this series dude