#and also terrified that that present moment may well be the last straw

[slippery-minghus]

ugh since someone at my work got fired last week the schedule has been completely out of whack. i don't get consecutive days off this week, and then i'm working six days in a row again. including a few shifts that are later and not my usual one.

i'm sure i'll get through it fine but it's really hard not to look at it with my usual "this is going to break me" mindset. i'm becoming a lot more resillient, but damn i didn't want to test it like this.

[sitaarein]

None Stand Equal In This Dark World

A/N: Officially my largest ever fic so please. Just read it and be nice sob because I’m kinda proud of some of it

Written for @grishaversebigbang 2021!!!

Corporalki: @homicide-depot​

Materialki: @generalnabri (x), @kolarpem (x), @aivicart (x), @maximumbluebirdpatrol , @niadrawing (x)

 (Summary: A murder mystery AU featuring Zoyalai, twists and turns, moral dilemma, and then some more

Read on AO3

Chapter One

The apartment door was wide open.

 In retrospect, that alone should have set off the alarm bells in Zoya’s head. No one left the door to their place wide open. She can’t imagine why she simply dismissed it. 

 Scratch that, she knew why. She’d been tracking this idiotic Grisha for a month now. She was tired and desperate. 

 But it appeared that- who would’ve thought- not being at the top of your game has consequences. 

 Consequences like staring down a man who’s been tied to a chair and gagged in the middle of, what Zoya guesses is, the lounge, eyes wide with terror.

 Zoya is mad at herself for not managing to guess it was a red herring- the damn door - and very, very mad at the Grisha who has, once again, slipped right through her hands. 

 She nods to one of her men, and he immediately drops to the man’s level to untie and presumably interrogate him. Zoya doesn’t stick around for the details- she trusts her people to give her good reports. Instead, after a cursory look around, she tips her head back to face the ceiling, taking in a deep breath, and leaves the apartment. 

 The weather outside took a dramatic turn in the fifteen minutes she was inside- it had been sunny before, or at least as sunny as Ravka ever could get. But now, the sun has all but ceased to exist, and the bitter cold is back once more. 

 Zoya prefers the cold. 

 (She doesn’t, not really, but no one needed to know that.)

 Zoya starts walking, pulling her coat tighter around herself. Her mind races, trying to connect all the dots, trying to figure out where her investigation had gone wrong. Start from the beginning. Don’t miss anything. The most minor of details are the most important.

  The beginning. A woman showed up to their headquarters about her missing family. Those cases were usually dismissed completely, handed over to the police forces- Zoya’s force was Grisha-centric, other cases, no matter how large or important they were, did not concern them. But this case was different.

 The woman was Grisha. 

 Her family weren’t, evidently- and neither did they know that she was. They’d been missing for six weeks, and the odds were pretty heavily stacked against them still being alive. The woman was detained (she was Grisha, this was Zoya’s job ) and a group of officers were dispatched for a search and rescue.

 The officers never returned.

 Alarm bells were now ringing, and the General assigned Zoya to the case. In the time since she officially took over, twenty more disappearances were documented, and all of them in Os Kerva alone. Saints knew what was happening in the rest of the country.

 But Zoya had never believed in Saints, so she found out what was happening in the rest of the country.

 The total number of disappearances in all of Ravka that had this case’s signature mark- an eclipsed sun left wherever the victims were seen last- was an estimated three thousand . Zoya couldn’t believe no one had connected the dots before her. Then again, the entire of the force were filled with incompetent idiots, so maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her. 

  The series of events . Zoya travelled up and down the country with the best of her underlings, talking to anyone who knew the victims, searching their last known places with tooth combs, building up working hypotheses, using all the resources they had available. Zoya was not an idiot. She knew exactly how capable she was. 

 And she also knew when she was fighting a losing battle.

 And so, when she got a call from one of her top detectives about a confirmed Grisha she’d been trailing for some time now who’d begun suspicious activity, she was clutching at straws and willing to take anything that came her way. She met up with her agent, and a few days later, they got the address of the apartment she was currently pacing in front of.

  The present . This part could be summed up fairly quickly. Zoya is, once again, at a fucking dead end . 

 Before she can kick something (or someone) out of frustration, A faint ringing reaches her ears, and frowning, Zoya stops in her tracks. Her phone is never not on silent. Calling Zoya Nazyalensky for anything was utterly pointless- she never picked up. 

  But the GIA has ways of getting into contact with its members regardless.

 Muttering a curse, Zoya digs around her pockets, looking for the infernal device with its grating, high-toned ringing. Finally locating her phone, she jabs the answer button without looking at the caller ID.

 “Yes?” she asks bluntly. 

 “Zoya,” Alina’s voice greets her.  

 Zoya immediately forgets everything that had been on her mind. When Alina calls, it’s rarely for a friendly chat. 

 “What’s wrong?”

“You need to get back here. As soon as possible.”

 “Understood. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

 Alina hangs up immediately, and Zoya pockets her phone, mind racing.

 She orders one of her lackeys to send her a report when they're done, grabs the keys for the van they’d used to get to the apartment from a rather distracted officer, taking off.

 Zoya reaches the Grisha Investigation Authorities in approximately half the time she’d given to Alina, and she may or may not have disobeyed quite a few traffic laws to get to her destination as quickly as she did, but that was frankly unimportant. 

 She strides through the doors, not bothering to acknowledge the many who’ve halted their paths to nod to her or, in the case of a few particularly stupid (or courageous, however you wanted to see it) people, attempt to strike up a conversation with her. She didn’t break her pace even once, until she’d reached the door to the meeting room they usually used to meet up for serious issues. After taking a moment to compose herself, Zoya pushes the door open.

 Inside, she finds all of her fellow Commanding Officers assembled- Adrik, Leoni, Alina, and Genya. Frowning, Zoya scans their faces, and mentally shifts whatever’s happening even higher on her scale of terrible shit to take care of immediately.

 Because not even Leoni, who can find positivity at a funeral, is smiling right now. There’s barely a hint of her optimistic and eternally cheerful personality in her countenance. 

 Zoya carefully takes the seat left for her around the circular table. Her gaze flits from one worried face to another, and she decides to be direct.

 “How bad is it?”

 The question seems to jolt Alina out of her reverie. She looks up, and Zoya feels her breath catch, because she looks so… helpless. Terrified.

 Genya takes it upon herself to answer Zoya’s question with another question, her mouth set in a grim line. “How’s your investigation going?”

 “We lost the suspect,” Zoya admits, her earlier frustration returning with the reminder of the infernal case. “We’re right back to where we started- but without the hope and the general idea of where to start.”

 “I’m not surprised,” Adrik mutters. “Considering who your delightful suspect is…”

 Zoya furrows her brow, and glances back at Genya. “Explain.”

 Genya looks as if she would rather do anything else, but after coming to the realisation that no one else is about to, she sighs and does so.

 “I’m presuming you remember Alina’s case that went cold about two years back?”

  A little too well. Even years later, that case haunts her- the truly horrific killings, from corpses with their body parts stuffed down their throats, to children who had clearly been still alive when burnt, the utter dead ends, Alina’s far too close brush with death, and… the person behind it all.

 “You don’t think it’s the same person??” Zoya demands, horror spreading through her veins.  She can not handle another Kirigan. 

 In lieu of replying, Genya nods to Leoni, who pushes forward a large envelope. Dread pooling in her gut, Zoya opens the package to find pictures from Alina’s investigation.

 “We revisited these when your disappearances started,” Genya says. “And… found more similarities than we’re frankly comfortable with.” 

 Zoya shifts the photos around, and then freezes at one, having caught sight of a mostly blurry but still distinctive calling card. “That’s…”

 “The eclipsed sun,” Adrik provides grimly. “You’re screwed.”

 “Hey, now,” Leoni protests. “We don’t know that.”

 Adrik snorts. “Don’t we? Need I remind you of the damage this person wrecked to the GIA and our country?”

 “How do we know this isn’t just a copycat?” Zoya breaks in. “None of the bodies of the victims this time around have been discovered,”

 “Copy cats still tend to have their own twists on kills, a signature, a mark that’s theirs. While none of the killings for either case have many similarities, they also don’t vary in terms of said signature.” Genya says.

 “Killers are proud creatures,” Adrik inputs.

 “And this one’s no exception,” Leoni says, eyes grim. 

 Zoya looks up. “What do you know?”

 Leoni hesitates, but then gives in. “We got a note this morning. A photocopy should be in the envelope too.”

 Zoya overturns the envelope, and sure enough, a piece of paper falls out. She picks it up, reads it, and crumples it up. 

 “You’re sure this isn’t a stupid joke?”

 “It was in the Director’s office.” Leoni says. 

  Shit.  Zoya glances back down at the crumpled mass she’s still clutching. You will burn on your mistakes. What mistakes? 

 She ignores the faint voice in the back of her head. You know what mistakes.

 Zoya takes a deep breath, focuses her thoughts, and then exhales. “How’s the Director doing?”

“He’s terrified.” All of the COs seemed to be equally startled to see Alina was the one to speak. Her mouth is set in an angry line, and Zoya can guess the track of her thoughts, because they were the same ones that had crossed her mind upon hearing the words- who is he to be terrified? What right did the Director even have to feel scared, when he himself never so much as interacted with the cases???

 Adrik sighs, leaning back in his seat. “Which is what has led us to our current predicament.”

 “And what do you mean by that?” 

 Genya exhales in a huff. “He wants the Mentals on this case along with all of us.”

 “He what.” 

 Alina, lips twisted in a sardonic smile, gestures to nothing in particular. “You heard correctly.”

 “Why ??? This is my case, and I will handle it.”

 “He doesn’t want a repeat of the bad press that came with my failing last time, I’m guessing.”

 “Bad press,” Zoya spits out. “I wonder how much bad press he’ll get when I-”

 “Do not,” Genya warns. “This could be helpful to us.”

  But also a personal disgrace , Zoya finishes the sentence in her head. The Mentals were practically a legend of the GIA- they were special, elite investigators, a whole mix of people ranging from scientists to- if the rumors were correct- ex-spies, who ended up with the cases no one else in the force could solve, and somehow, without fail, solved each of them within a week at the least. 

 It was irritating as hell.

 And having them assigned on your case meant that the Director did not trust you to be successful on your own. 

 Absolutely wonderful.

 “So when are these... spectacular detectives arriving?” Zoya asks. 

 Genya opens her mouth, and then closes it, before starting, “Well-”

 “I hope I’m not too late to this marvelous party?”

 Zoya swivels to see who this truly abnormally cheerful person is, and then blinks. She turns back to face the others once more- Adrik still looks glum, Leoni is smiling her most polite smile, Alina seems to have perked up and Genya is genuinely smiling. They all look… unsurprised.

 Of course they were hiding more secrets up their sleeves.

 “ What,” Zoya finally breaks and asks. “Is the damned PR guy doing here?”

 The aforementioned PR guy pouts. “Is that really what I’m known for around here? My PR duties? That’s quite depressing. Why would you focus on that when you could talk about my stunning good looks, or my undeniable charm, or even my ability to-”

 “Nikolai,” Alina interrupts. “Shut up.” she looks at Zoya, a hint of dry amusement in her eyes. 

 “Zoya, this is Nikolai Lantsov, and he is indeed our PR guy, but he’s also… head of the Mentals.”

 Zoya blinks. He’s what??? And then, wait… they knew who the special investigators were? How long have they known? Why was I not informed?

 She doesn’t voice any of her thoughts, choosing instead to stare, unimpressed, at the blond, who grins at her in response. 

 “If I had known you possessed such astounding grace and beauty, Miss Nazyalensky, I would have made your acquaintance sooner! I’m sure these upcoming days will prove to be an absolute pleasure, provided I get to spend them in your delightful company.”

 “Saints save me,” Zoya utters faintly. “The Director assigned an idiot to my case.”

 “Hey, now!” Nikolai protests. “You haven’t even met the rest of my team yet!”

 “An idiot who talks too much,” she deplores. 

 Genya and Alina both snort at that. In fact, all of her fellow COs seemed to be taking far too much pleasure in this situation. Zoya hates all of them. 

  “Well, now that we’ve gotten the pleasantries out of the way,” Nikolai says, to which Zoya distinctly hears Adrik mutter “pleasantries?” under his breath, “I think now would be a wonderful time for me to introduce you to my brilliant team,”

  Genya sits up immediately, looking eager. Zoya wonders what that’s about. 

 She finds out fairly quickly.

 Nikolai ushers in a group of people, and she recognises one in particular, one who she has, in fact, known since her college years -

 David. Genya’s husband, David Kostyk, is a part of the Mentals. Harmless old David. Zoya can’t believe her eyes. 

 She scans the rest of the group, but the others barely seem familiar. The two Shu right in front of David look similar enough to be twins, apart from the height difference. Right next to David is a woman that, with a jolt, Zoya recognises as Adrik’s sister from what she’s heard and seen of her. Bringing up the rear is a man who vaguely resemblesNikolai himself, ducking his head shyly as he enters the room. 

 “Now that your merry party is all assembled,” Adrik says glumly. “Any ideas where to start?”

 “Shouldn’t we at least get to know each other first?” Adrik’s sister asks.

 Adrik stares at her. “I’ve known you since I was born.”

 “We’re not the only ones in the room, Adrik.”

 “Oh, aren’t we ? I can’t say I noticed.”

 Nikolai interrupts their glaring match to finally provide Zoya with names to all the unfamiliar faces. 

 “Tamar, Tolya, Nadia, and Isaak, meet the officers we’ll be working with for the next few weeks or longer- Alina, Genya, Zoya, Leoni, and Adrik,” he gestures towards each person in turn. Zoya briefly wonders how he already knows their names, before realising that just because the GIA didn’t know who the special investigators were didn’t exactly mean they didn’t know the GIA either. 

 “And now,” Nikolai beams. “Let’s get comfortable. It’s time to discuss our present conundrum!”

[naferty]

Tony wakes up groggy, disoriented and with no recollection of where he is. At first, he thinks his room, but his room isn’t as white or spotless or has a strong sterilizing smell. It hurts his head just smelling it. Or maybe that’s just his head hurting in general from waking up somewhere unknown with no recollection of it. 

He finds Rhodey sitting next to him, holding his hand and looking at his phone with his other. When Tony squeezes it Rhodey looks up and is relieved to see him awake. 

“Tones,” he moves to sit on the bed. “How are you feeling?” 

Tony frowns in thought. His head hurts and there’s a bit of throbbing pain in his left leg, but other than that it’s not too bad to warrant Rhodey’s concern. 

“My leg hurts,” he admits, voice cracking. Rhodey quickly grabs the cup of water and a straw. Tony inhales the liquid in like a scorched animal in a desert. 

“What happened?” he tries again, grateful his voice didn’t nearly send him into a coughing fit. 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Rhodey moves strands of hair away from his eyes. 

“I don’t - I don’t know.”

“That’s okay, that’s okay. Take your time. No hurry.” 

Tony works his brain to remember something. Anything. The last thing he recalls is welcoming a new student to the academy. Hellcat if he remembered the name correctly. Something about hell and a cat is somehow involved. Sounded about right. After that, nothing. He had been with Pepper welcoming her, returned back to his tower and then he woke up in this bed with a headache and Rhodey next to him. 

That had been in… August? Or sometime around there. 

“We were welcoming new people. Hellcat? Daredevil?” 

Rhodey frowns. Not a good look and not a good sign. “That’s what you remember?” 

“Yeah, why? Did something happen?” Tony gives the room a quick scan. “Why am I here and why does my leg hurt?” 

Rhodey squeezes his hand. “You got hurt, Tones. Got taken down while flying. Your suit took a lot of the damage but your leg still got nicked. Stress fracture. Not too bad considering everything. You’ll be getting a cast for it, though. Hope you’re ready.” 

“Only if you carry me.” 

“No carrying on my end. Someone else has that covered now.” 

“Aww, Honey Bear, I don’t want anyone else carrying me but you. You know that.” 

Rhodey shook his head. “Not these days, Tones. The honor of carrying around your ass goes to someone else now. Someone, I might add, that you absolutely love being carried by.” 

“What are you talking about?” Tony lifts himself up to sit upright. Hurt like hell but now he’s able to get a better view of Rhodey. He notices his best friend has more of his War Machine suit on than usual. Where before he had been getting used to it. Now he’s wearing it with the same confidence as Tony does his own. 

Not only that, but he can also almost swear that Rhodey looks a bit older now. He can’t put a finger on it, but somehow Rhodey looks as if a fair amount of time had gone by. A bit bulkier. Strong posture. 

Where the hell as his Platypus been training recently for him to gain those muscles so fast?

“Well, uh,” Rhodey scratches his head. A nervous habit. A very telling tell. “There’s no easy way to say this.”

“Say what?” Oh shit, did something really bad happen besides him breaking his leg and not remember? Did whoever he had been fighting with do something to him? Run off with his spleen or kidney? Stolen his fridge of cheese? Hacked into his systems and stolen everything? 

“Tones, what year is it?” 

Tony blinked. Oh… crap. Usually, people only ask that question when memory loss is involved. Did his head get injured in the fall? How many years has he lost? It can’t be too many since Rhodey still looks more or less the same and it seems like they’re still in the Academy.

“It’s twenty-sixteen,” he says, fear slowly growing as his mind ran through scenarios after scenarios of what he could be missing from memory. 

“Crap,” Rhodey rubs his forehead. Not a good sign. Never a good sign. “It’s okay, it’s okay, not too bad. Memory loss happens. Nothing we can’t handle together.” 

“Honey Bear, what year is it?” His heart rate starts going faster. He’s terrified of the possibility of so much time going by and not remembering any of it. 

“Tones, calm down. It’s not too bad. It’s twenty-nineteen. Only three years. We can handle this.” 

“Three?” Tony repeats. Sure three doesn’t sound like a large number but it’s years! So much could happen in one year let alone three. 

Rhodey hugs him. “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll handle this together. I mean it. Not much has changed. We’re still in the Academy. It just has more students than before. You’ll run into a lot of new faces but it’ll be okay. You’ve made a lot of improvements on your armor and mine. You’ll get used to it again. I’ll help every step of the way.” 

Tony takes deep breaths. It’s all easy to say, but it’s still a lot of time taken away. People change. Is he still friends with Pepper? What about Jan? Loki? Do people who used to tolerate him hate him now? Is he still helping around in the Academy or has Nick kicked him out of board meetings? 

As if knowing exactly what he’s thinking, Rhodey tells him, “Pepper was here earlier, but she got called away. I’m sure she’ll be back soon. Jan couldn’t skip another class. It’s Thursday. She’s already skipped all day yesterday. Couldn’t do another.”

Rhodey pulls away. “You know Loki wouldn’t be caught dead caring for someone where everyone can see. He’s getting updates from Jan, but he does occasionally skulk around here.” 

“Oh,” that answers some. What about the others? “Anything big happened?” 

“A bit,” Rhodey admits. “Besides the Academy’s weekly attacks, some big events have happened. Nothing that’s changed your life too much, though.” 

Tony exhales. Doesn’t sound too bad.  

“Jarvis has a body now.” 

He blinks. “...what?” 

“Jarvis has a body now,” Rhodey repeats slower. Hands out and at the ready to catch him should he fall at the news. “Walking, talking body with working arms and everything. It’s really cool. You’re really proud of it.” 

“He… he has a body?!” That’s… that’s incredible! Jarvis has always behaved like a person, even with his digital coding, and Tony has always considered him as an individual all his own. Sassy, sarcastic, but still loyal and humble. Jarvis getting a body? That’s got to be the greatest thing that’s happened to him, and Tony can’t even remember it! 

It absolute sucks. 

“Where is he? The body, I mean.” Jarvis is always with him, but physically? Where is that? 

“In the tower preparing everything for you. Make it cast friendly,” Rhodey gives his left leg a pointed stare. 

“Okay, is that everything?” 

His eyes go back to Tony. For a millisecond Tony can see them land somewhere on his shoulder before they go to his face. It’s enough for Tony to shakily raise his left hand to touch it. His shirt is thin enough to feel everything underneath. Nothing out of the ordinary on his shoulder but when he runs it over his neck he stops. The skin under his fingers isn’t as smooth as his shoulders. Marks are present. Barely noticeable really. Faded but still there. Located where one would place a bite to mark a mate. 

Rhodey knows the moment he realizes what it means. He gives rapid nods in confirmation. “Yeah, it’s exactly what you think.” 

“I got mated?” Tony nearly screams in hysterics because - holy shit! 

“Not fully mated,” Rhodey is quick to correct. “You haven’t signed marriage licenses or had any kind of wedding. You marked each other to keep people off you. You’ll get officially hitched once you’re both ready. At least that’s what you’ve told me.” 

“Off me?” That’s a very odd reason for it. Who would even be on him anyway? Tony has no suitors, no interests in him. Did he somehow offend someone and they’re sicking people on him? Is the mark meant to do damage control for it? “Did I screw up and pissed off someone?” 

Rhodey’s mouth falls open. “What - no! What? - how did you come to - no, of course not! Shit, Tones, how can you come to the worst conclusions?” 

“Doesn’t the worst usually happen?” He doesn’t mean to sound pitiful. It just sort of happens.

Story of his life.

“Not recently, no.” Rhodey puts a hand on his shoulder. “Yes, you get the short end of the stick sometimes - actually, you get it a hell of a lot more times than I’d like, but it’s not every day and certainly not for this. This mark,” he points to it, “you have this because you and your mate just happen to have the hots for each other.” 

“Just the hots? That’s not encouraging,” Tony looks down. “So it’s a temporary thing.” Once this quick hot honeymoon phase is over they’ll separate no doubt. 

“You both call it love but I’m not about to feed that disgusting fire you have going. You both need to cool it with the affection. It’s traumatizing some of us.” 

“Who am I even mated to?” The million-dollar question. Who ended up getting stuck with him? Who did he manage to convince to give him a try? From what he remembers, no one he knows has really caught his eye. In and outside of the Academy. No one, except for a certain Captain that he may or may not have had a crush on since his childhood. Odds are pretty low, the bottom of the barrel low, that Steve is his mysterious mate. 

Oh, but how strong he could hope. 

When Rhodey doesn’t answer right away Tony asks again. “Who’s - who’s my mate, Platypus? A new face? Someone outside the Academy? Who’s the unlucky person?” 

“I don’t think he considers himself unlucky mating you, and don’t talk about my best friend like that.” Rhodey gives him a playful hit. “He’s a good guy. Don’t disrespect.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“Careful he doesn’t hear you say that. He’s a possessive asshole.” 

“So a guy,” that doesn’t narrow down the list much but it is surprising. Tony really thought he’d get a girlfriend, but turns out he went and got a boyfriend instead.

Howard would be so proud of him for proving that right. ‘Why have a broad when you’ll probably be the broad?’ 

He didn’t know how to feel if he ended up mating to a male alpha. With the posturing and the aura of dominance he couldn’t create just waiting to be smacked across his face everyday, taunting him. Howard did always say he was a sorry excuse of an alpha. Better suited to be another alpha’s... well, you know. 

At least he and this guy love each other, right? 

“Who’s this guy?”

“Well, it’s -” 

“I’m here! I’m here! Tony?” A voice interrupts. From outside the door, in came the one and only Steve Rogers. He’s breathing heavy and looks like he ran a marathon getting here but he’s smiling. Large and shining. “You’re awake.” 

“Hi, Steve,” Tony says. It’s all he can think of saying. He honestly didn’t expect Steve to be here. They’re not exactly close from what he remembers.

Steve’s about to say more but Rhodey quickly stops him, dragging him back out the room and the two proceed to have a very hushed conversation. So hushed that Tony can’t guess what they’re talking about, but he does hear a very clear but very hurt, “oh” at the end. Then the two don’t realize their voices have gotten louder.

“Yeah.” 

“So he doesn’t remember.” 

“No. Sorry, Steve.” 

“Now what?” 

“We help him. Any way we can.” 

“Would I be of any help, though? I’ll just cause problems.” 

“Will you be able to keep away?” 

“...no, I won’t.”

“He may not remember, but he still cares for you. Always has. Just gotta help him fall in love with you all over again.” 

Hold on. One. Second. 

Fall in love?

All over again?

Him?

With Steve??

When?

How?

Tony stops breathing.

The two return. Their hushed conversation over. Tony must be bug-eyed as he stares at them.

Steve stops in front of his bed. “Hey, Tony. I -” 

“I mated you?!” 

His shouting surprises the two. “Oh, you heard that?” Steve says. 

Tony is speechless. It’s not a denial. Meaning, it could be very much true. He’s mated to Steve? 

“Yeah, I’m you’re mate. Two years now. Could’ve been near three but you’re very stubborn,” the famous omega says so freely. As if being mated to Tony isn’t the worst thing in the world for him. “Rhodey told me you don’t remember anything in the last three years. So you don’t remember our time together?” 

No, I - no.” 

“Okay,” Steve looks down. Hurt. “I understand if you want me away while you heal -” 

“No,” Tony says rather quickly. “I mean - help me understand. How did we end up together? How did I win you? No - shit, that came out wrong. You’re not a prize. You’re a hero and an icon. I just don’t get how I got this lucky.” 

Steve has a smile. It’s small, but it’s there. “I don’t know about you being lucky. I think I’m the luckier one here. If you have to know, it took a lot of work on my part. It also took a lot of help from your friends. You’re really determined to ignore the signs right in front of you, Love.” 

Tony makes a choking noise. Steve just called him Love. Steve Rogers just called him love! He couldn’t believe it. This is all a dream. It has to be. He’s never this lucky. 

“Tony?” Steve frowns and moves around the table. Closer to him. He reaches a hand out. Rubs a thumb under his eye. “Honey, you’re crying.”

Is he? Steve pulls his thumb away. Glistening from a tear. Oh, looks like he is. 

“I’m just overwhelmed,” he inhales, “and in pain.” 

“Your leg?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I’ll go get the nurse.” Steve turns to do just that but Tony grabs his arm before he can take the first step. 

“Wait. Stay. Please?” 

“I’ll get her,” Rhodey offers and walks out the room, leaving them alone. 

Steve sits on the bed. He grabs hold of his hand. “Okay, I’ll stay. I won’t go anywhere.” 

“Thank you.” With his shirt, Tony wipes away the tears. “Could you - could you tell me how it happened? How did we -?” 

“Get together?” The omega pipes in.

“Yeah. I just don’t believe it. Feels like a dream.” 

“You better believe it, Mister. This is no dream and I worked really hard to get you. I’m not letting go.” 

Tony laughs. It’s so surreal to hear Steve say that. For him of all people!

“Okay, while we wait for Jim let me tell you about the first time I tried asking you out. A lot of people got upset about it and trust me, it wasn’t because I was trying to get off the market.” 

[theramseyloft]

Cognition and Sociology Research

When I was raising doves I found some research papers about pigeons categorizing things and learning the equivalent of words the way human children do.

At the time, I just thought it was neat. 

But when we got the most pitiful pigeon I have ever seen into wildlife rehab (I'm their columbid specialist), 

I built off of that research and started talking to him, like you would a nonverbal three year old. 

 Entirely on his own, he started alerting me for anxiety attacks, and even worked out how to bring me down from bad ones if he couldn't warn me fast enough. 

He knew I was diabetic before I did, and also started alerting me for blood sugar spikes all on his own.

I'm an autistic woman with ADHD, PTSD, and pretty severe social anxiety.

My two biggest fears in public are anxiety attacks and over-stimulation.

Those of you with mental illness are aware that panic attacks and anxiety attacks are two different things.

A panic attack is a sudden reaction to a specific stimulus. 

 An anxiety attack is more of a straw that broke the camels back after a prolonged build up of stressors. 

From my perspective, they feel exactly the same.

Because I am not aware of the build up of stress until I have that last straw moment, an anxiety attack can hit me out of nowhere, for absolutely no reason I am capable of discerning in the moment.

It makes going anywhere alone absolutely terrifying because I have no way of knowing when or if or even why I may suddenly have an anxiety attack.

Under enough duress, I can’t function.  Like my brain just shorts out.

I get hit with a wave of exhaustion. All the energy drains out through the soles of my feet, and I'm just.. so deeply tired I could just crumple up where I stand. 

Blood sugar spikes feel, to me, exactly like that stressed out shut down.

Ankhou can read that build up, and differentiate between anxiety, blood sugar, and just plain physically tired.

If I am actually just tired, Ankhou will wait for me to get comfortable, snuggle in with me, and join the nap.

When he becomes aware that I'm approaching the degree of stressed that preceeds an anxiety attack, he gets on my shoulder or in my lap and leans against my cheek or preens my hand: Letting me know I need to relax and providing me a soft stim to relax come down with.

If he stands on my chest and stretches to be eye level, that't my warning that I need to immediately find a place to sit down and pet him to prevent myself from shutting down entirely.

If he has not gotten to me soon enough and I am fully shut down, he gets in my lap and gently preens the underside of my forearm until I respond to stroke him.

If I'm having a blood sugar spike, he will do absolutely anything in his power to prevent me from falling asleep! He'll start by preening and nudging my hands to pet him. If I don’t respond, he bites my fingers. 

If I don’t respond to that, he bites the back of my hand. Then the soft tender bit between my fingers, then my inner elbow, then my ear, then my cheek... 

And then if absolutely nothing else will rouse me, he will bite my eyelid.

If absolutely nothing will get me to respond, he'll find who ever else is in the house and throw himself at their office or room door until they come check on me.

And I got to thinking: If a feral literally off the street would do that on his own...

What would happen if I selectively bred the birds most comfortable around and interested in people? 

And gave them very basic training? Like responding to their name, loading eagerly into a carrier, comfortably wearing a harness, responding to a few simple commands like Step up...

At the time, I was raising show pigeons.

And one of the highest criteria for working with a breed was its tractability and docility.

So I already had this collection of the breeds that were easiest to handle, most physically fit, with the best parents instincts like tight setting of eggs and chicks and excellent feeding responses...

Letting them blend would mean I wouldn’t have to keep pairs penned anymore!

So I laid out sand on the floor to make cleaning easier, got them nest boxes and stacked them to the wall.

Got them shelves with hardware cloth supporting comfy rubber mats I could take out and hose off.

And let them pair up as they would.

I have a cap of 10 mature breeding pairs. 

 When a keeper baby hits 6 months, the adult of the same sex that is either least healthy, least friendly, or has the worst parenting record gets retired and adopted to their permanent home as a pet.

That's the only influencing I have over pairings. 

 The birds can otherwise do and bond as they please. 

 Babies who do not enjoy any aspect of the training program are not forced to continue. I just mark them as pet instead of potential therapy bird.

I record everything they do. 

 Who they pair with, how well they parented the babies, how the babies developed, who wants to sit with me, under what circumstance. 

 How treat motivated are they? 

How much and where do they like to be petted? 

How keen are they to sit with me with no treat reward vs. treat time? 

 Upon reaching maturity, does any of that change? 

 Pigeons are a very unusual sort of social among the columbidae. 

 Most other birds,  including the vast majority of dove and pigeon species, see fully self feeding fledgelings as new competition for resources and drive them out of their territory. 

 They can feed off a rich ground together, but only watch out for and cooperate with their current mate. They do not seek out other birds’ company, they just happen to be in the same place at the same time.

 Rock doves and their domesticated descendants' flocks are strikingly human like extended families.

Parents, grandkin, aunts, uncles, children, cousins, grand children: all live together year round in a nesting site that functions kinda like a human tribe or village.

Babies only ever leave the flock to start a new one when there are not enough resources to support the number of birds.

When they fledge and leave the nest, their dad takes over the bulk of their care. He feeds them, shows them where to find food, water, and nest material, and teaches them how to integrate into pigeon society.

When to be assertive so they don’t get crowded out and can get what they need, and when to defer to the status of an older, bigger bird to avoid being injured in a fight.

The rest of the flock will usually haze a peep the first day it's down: Basically each taking heir turn to assert "I'm older and bigger, and I out rank you." Knowing where they are in the chain of command makes things like coordinating flock foraging parties around avoiding predators and navigating changing weather conditions go smoothly when it's time to venture forth from the nesting grounds.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/06/150609213053.htm

Pigeon society is democratic. 

 Every fully fledged bird has a say in where they go and what they do on missions. 

 The individual that knows the best places to find food, water, or nest material will lead the mission out to get that thing, and the bird who is best at navigating leads the foraging party back home afterwards.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/04/100416214045.htm

Pigeon flocks are a meritocracy. 

 A mission leader earns that status by actually being the best at that specific task, and if some one else gets better at it, the flock will follow that bird instead.

https://www.audubon.org/news/in-homing-pigeon-flocks-bad-bosses-quickly-get-demoted

This one isn’t pigeon specific, but pigeons are SUPER communicative, and it would not surprise me to find that this applies to pigeon peeps as well. 

https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/stories/baby-birds-communicate-eggs-hatch?fbclid=IwAR39CYrHAfFM6nAP8Rq3TvOox1p5vcb3Z87xqjPoiYNCwMoRvuQaWCeSFjs

 Maybe less because their parents sit on them constantly, but I have seen evidence for peeps hatching with anxiety during a stressful time for the flock. 

Pigeons, like baboons, are capable of higher level cognition.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090212141143.htm

In fact, their brains are wired a lot like ours!

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130717095336.htm

Facial recognition is as important to them as it is to us, and it functions the same way ours does.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130717095336.htm

Like corvids, and unlike most parrots, pigeons recognize themselves in mirrors.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080613145535.htm

I have seen evidence that they can differentiate a mirror from a photo and a video, and can recognize themselves in a video with significant delay.

This degree of self awareness is why their name is the first concrete thing my babies learn.

When a baby reaches a week of age, it gets a name and observes the older birds at treat time in my lap. 

 I greet each individual by name and give them a safflower seed held between thumb and forefinger. (Making my hand look more bird head shaped than the usual talon or snake head shape that hands present to birds on an instinctive level) 

 There are often individuals in a flock who will feed any peep that toddles up and begs. By doing treat time this way, I take on this "auntie" roll for my flock and emulate the comfort of being fed by a big, protective parent. 

 When the baby starts to peck and beg me for seeds, I greet it by name and pop a safflower seed into its mouth just like the adults. 

 That baby learns that its name specifies that I am addressing it, and no other bird, and associates being addressed by name with getting something good. 

The end result is a baby who knows and eagerly responds to their name.

The information in these three studies: 

proving that pigeons categorize like we do https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/04/140402095107.htm

They learn the equivalent of words the way human children do https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150204184447.htm

And pattern map with enough nuance to differentiate a word from an acronym the same number of letters. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/09/160919111535.htm

 was the basis of my linguistic training with Ankhou. 

 Language is a pattern of matching words to objects, places, individuals, actions, and concepts. 

 Pigeons are communicative, social learning pattern mappers, already wired to map the pattern of language by the same mechanic as a human toddler. 

 My job is to feed Ankhou the pattern by which humans vocally communicate and let him do with it what pigeons do best. 

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/12/171204144805.htm

Pigeons understand abstracts like time and space.

Ankhou understands the abstract concepts of choice and consent, and is capable of giving me a clear yes or no answer.

And the exciting thing is that he isn’t special in that regard. 

 All pigeons are wired to learn language this way, and with patience and consistence, any of them at any age can be taught. 

 It's just easiest for babies who were raised with it.

Pigeon society is close enough to a big, extended human family that an individual pigeon can integrate easily into a human flock.

The more easily they can communicate with us and we can with them, the more easily they can integrate and the closer bonds they can form with their partner.

So the bulk of our research here at The Ramsey Loft is centered around decoding pigeon communication, pushing to see how much of ours they can be taught, what environment and methods are most conducive to teaching them, how big a part genetics play, and how accurately those traits can be selected for.

[caprina-mints]

Hi again, can I please have an headcannon of (Masky, Hoodie, Kate the chaser, Slenderman, Laughing jack, Jason the toy maker) with a y/n that has a fetish for emotionally and physically, mentally pain (a pride sadistic)

Warning : People who are sensitive to the Topic of self harm and Being inflicted with Pain should NOT read this because it may trigger you and I don't want that to Happen. Violence is also present in this Head canon so again if you're uncomfortable with that don't read this because this is a low key dark head canon. Stay safe everyone.

Slenderman :

❅ Hew as genuinely NOT expecting this from you at all.

❅ At first you were the perfect motherly figure everyone needed for a sense of comfort in their lives.

❅ and everyone sees you that way too..

❅ Until One day.... You had a mental breakdown about a topic you were dreading and everything went from soft and kind to red and violent.

❅ Slenderman was petrified when you suddenly brought up the topic about being tortured infront of everyone saying it was 'Fun'

❅ Now.... Everyone in that mansion enjoy the thought of 'Torturing' but they never even have the thought of being ' Tortured ' because judging by how those victims scream it wasn't pleasant.

❅ But here you are talking about your wildest fantasies of torture . How you described every single detail of how you want to be hurt.

❅ Slenderman had to drag you away and confronted you about that but after seeing that look on your eyes he knew you were somehow fucked up in a way he won't understand for now.

❅ And soon after that little incident you suddenly had urges to 'have fun' and seeing the chainsaw in the basement was somehow tempting you.

❅ " What if... I try cutting some of my skin with a chainsaw? " You suddenly blurted out when you were with slenderman inside he's study room and he immediately paused.

❅ He thought you were joking but when he found you in the basement with the chainsaw a but too near for comfort he lashed out and it ended with you pouting and 2 of slenderman's tendrils cut off.

❅ And after that day You were Monitored in every way possible may it be slenderman or his brothers or if none of them were around the creeps would watch over you because you might attempt something you shouldn't do.

❅ You were never alone and you were only permitted to go in that one bathroom where everything is covered with rubber and nothing sharp or hard way around... Even the mirror was unbreakable for some odd reason.

Kate the Chaser :

✲ Obviously there was something wrong with you when you came home with bruises with a cut on your lip and a bloody nose.

✲ Kate tried asking you about it but you just used your Boxing classes as a cover to your injuries.

✲ She was very concerned and felt anxious every time you left the mansion.

✲ She tried following you with every attempt she had but somehow you had this weird knack of disappearing once you turned to the corner and poof you're gone.

✲ Of course she never dropped this subject and became the main source of all your arguments.

✲ But the CCTV in town showed exactly what you were doing. Kaye asked Ben to hack one of the Cameras in town

✲ It clearly caught your figure purposelu provoking thugs near the alleyway and when they did beat you up. You didn't do anythi6 but provoked them even more.

✲ That was the Last straw for Kate.

✲ When you got home Objects were sent flying your way and a raging Kate was the cause of it.

✲ Let's just say the argument lasted the whole night and nobody got any sleep and slenderman grew wrinkles because of all the furniture and objects he had to replace.

✲ In the end you clearly explained to her about your issue and she was surprisingly reasonable as long as you wouldn't get into random fights just to get beat up.

✲ Kate was fine with that but the two of you did find another way to pleasure your requests. ;).

Laughing Jack :

✗ Since the beginning Jack already knew of your fetish for pain and he thought it was very convenient for a partner considering the fact that he was a sadistic clown himself.

✗ at first he was skeptical since you looked like the type of person who gets straight A's in school, Helps old women cross the road and Feeds stray Animals on the street.

✗ But When You two 'did it' for the first time. All his doubts were washed away when you provoked him into fucking you to next week.

✗ How you only angered him just to make him hurt you, taunting him to mark, bite and scratch your body and how you'd moan in pain every time he'd sink his teeth onto your skin tearing through your flesh.

✗ Though he'd never admit he liked this freaky side of you, he did change some of his ways so he could get it inside your head that you'll only be needing this clown for both pain and pleasure.

✗ He started being rough with you and he won't hold back at all, if your said something he didn't like he'd choke you and slap you.

✗ if you did something he didn't like, he'd punish your hands to the point it'll start to bleed.

✗ There is a safeword for you incase he went to far but you have never ever used it up till now.

Hoodie :

❀ You were very open about this and told Hoodie everything from the start and he didn't know how he should feel to that.

❀ He only thought it was a mild case of masochism but boy was he wrong.

❀ You were really riled up on this certain fetish of yours it made him worry for your life more than Anything in the world.

❀ You'd break glasses and squeeze the shards for the sake of enjoyment and one time you chucked a knife right through your leg just to get off of work and that honestly terrified him to a great extent.

❀ He wanted to talk to you about this but he didn't know how to. He forced himself to talk to you when you nearly got yourself killed after trying to hang yourself to see if it was ' fun '

❀ you two had a long talk about it and even though you were reluctant, you promised him you'd stop but... Let's be honest here... It didn't stop you at all.

❀ Hoodie was on the edge and he needed to do something about This fetish of yours . So he hid every single object in the house that could possibly kill you... Hell... Even a teddy bear is dangerous when you're around.

❀ and after that he handcuffed you and placed a fucking collar around your neck so he's literally just dragging you around the house like a dog.

❀ You had mixed emotions of excitement and annoyance.

❀ Well at least Hoodie fulfilled your wishes during your time on the Bed ;) and when you see yourself on the mirror after your tickets session you knew he fucked you up good.

Jason the ToyMaker :

✮ Jason is Naturally protective (and possessive). So when he found out about this fetish of yours he was against it with every single fiber of his being.

✮ He started lecturing you about it and how it would hurt him very much if you even tried to hurt yourself.

✮ You grew up with this odd fetish and you never stopped it or even attempted to restrain this urge of yours but seeing Jason so upset about it made you stop hesitantly and it was driving you Nuts.

✮ Even though you knew he was just Manipulating you by the use of guilt. Yes you knew and you loved how this tormented you day and night. If you can't hurt yourself physically might as well break yourself mentally.

✮ But the more your restrained yourself the more serious it became. So you did something you never thought of.

✮ You wanted Jason to Hurt you. But if you straight up tell him you knew he'd immediately decline after hearing the first sentence

✮ So you did it in a discreet way, You started off by Not going to his place after you're done with your daily deeds of the day.

✮ You started sleeping at your friend's house which irked him very much and you purposely disobeyed and fought with him just to make him snap.

✮ He was blind of what you were planning but something about the look on your eyes gave him a hint.

✮ All logical thinking left him the moment you suddenly blurted out that you wanted to leave him.

✮ He was more dangerous that a Bear high on drugs. He immediately choked you raising your figure off the ground and slammed your body on the walls with threatening words escaping his lips if you were to ever leave him.

✮ He squeezed your cheeks harshly and slapped you multiple yelling at you to say it again but when a moan escaped your lips he immediately knew your intentions.

✮ He was fueled with anger at how you managed to have this effect on him that he took it out on you on the bed ;) he made sure you were left in a daze, legs shaking and body trembling with bruises, marks and obvious scratches left on you ;).

Masky :

✦ He had the most ridiculous expression when he found out about it and he obviously didn't know what to do because hey... None of his victims ever said ' Hurt and Torture me ' more like begging for their lives.

✦ And the shocking thing was.... His s/O was sthe one who told him that and he didn't know what to do so he turned to hoodie for advice.

✦ and like hoodie he did attempt to talk you out of this and stop you but you were too darn stubborn .

✦ He won't admit it but after finding out it awakened the sadistic demon inside him and it turned him on big time.

✦ He still monitors you like the stalker he is and when you tried shooting your foot with his gun shit was about to go down.

✦ Yes he punished you, and I'm talking about Whips, Over stimulation, Shaming, Slapping, Spanking, Choking, Edging .

✦ He was determined to break your body as well as your mind and he was doing a good job at it and with your tauntings it only made him rougher with you.

✦ Your Body littered with bite marks, red whip lashes, bruised neck and lips, bloody cheeks and a throbbing body he managed to claw out the inner masochist in you.

✦ In the end you were sweaty, cum covered, bloody and filled with cuts, bruises and a few wounds here and there as well as dark hickies surrounding almost every inch of your body.

✦ You have met your match and Masky felt the same way.

[land-of-classpects-and-analysis]

Mage of Life

There is a beginning to everything, as well as an end. The classic tale of how Life creates these wonderful gifts and then sends them away to eventually reach their beloved: Death. Much like how Seer September had its own mysterious beginning before ending within the vastness of Space, why not begin Oculus October with an Aspect almost as important as Space? While Space may represent new beginnings, Life is an Aspect that represents positivity, good health, and survival. Of course, there are other things it also represents, but it truly depends on the Class it is connected to. With it being a new month and therefore a new beginning, it would only be fitting for the first analysis regarding Mages to be that of the Mage of Life.

At first, the Mage of Life may seem to be quite the puzzle to wrap one’s head around. Life is a warm and positive Aspect, is it not? How then, pray tell, does one somehow manage to suffer in their pursuit of knowledge about this Aspect? If Mages are meant to begin their journey with a horrific introduction to their Aspect, what does a horrific version of Life look like? To put it simply, and to lay out the groundwork for the rest of this; the Mage of Life would most likely be someone who could be deemed as the “Therapy Friend”. As noble of a title this may seem to those who have never been in such a predicament, it is oftentimes far from it. To be the “Therapy Friend” is, more often than not, being the friend who everyone goes to about their problems. The Mage of Life would listen - truly listen - and they may try to give their best advice that they can muster. However, when it comes to their own problems, they are often met with disinterest, apathy, or rudeness and belittlement. 

Due to this, the Mage of Life would most likely be one to bottle up their emotions rather than seek out anyone who may actually want to listen. This can cause quite a bit of tension and stress not only in the Mage of Life’s, well, life, but also within their social circle. As more problems and emotions the Mage bottles up, the closer they get to having a complete and utterly destructive meltdown. It is a horrible habit of the Mage of Life, but it’s one that they unfortunately have deeply ingrained into their way of life. However, this volatile and unhealthy practice will not always leave an aftermath of a simple and easy pick-up. There will be at least one moment where, in the midst of one of their breakdowns, the Mage of Life will commit an act of such a horrible nature that they cannot undo it. No apologies can make it better, and chances are they have no clue how to even go about healing the wounds that they wrought. The Mage of Life has never actually had to do much healing in their life, instead only having to listen and provide words of comfort, encouragement, and reassurance. After the final straw has broken their own back will the journey for the Mage truly begin.

The Mage of Life would be one who has to actively seek out the knowledge of their Aspect and its properties, but they could also actively seek out knowledge through their Aspect. No matter which path calls for the Mage of Life, though, it is most certain that they will face many struggles and hardships throughout their journey. Do not be fooled by the unassuming nature the Life Aspect presents itself to be - it is an Aspect just as capable of bringing about suffering as any of the others. After all, haven’t we all experienced the pricking of a rose thorn, the itchiness of poison ivy, a tree falling atop a house or car, and, for a select few, aren’t seasonal allergies simply the worst? While those bound to Life are known for being on a constant march towards positivity and progress, the Mage of Life is one of the best examples of this. After witnessing the true harm and damage their role as a Therapy Friend has not only brought onto others, but also themself, it will be what truly pushes the Mage towards the true nature of their Aspect and what it means to be bound to Life.

For the Mages of Life who seek out the knowledge of their Aspect, they will soon find that the answer isn’t all that simple. To some it may seem obvious and quite simple; go to therapy, get rid of bad friends, make more positive and healthier choices in their life, and more. However, that isn’t exactly the case, if only because the Mage of Life’s journey can be rather slow. They don’t immediately learn everything about their Aspect by capturing once and taking the knowledge from that. It’s far more like following a trail of breadcrumbs until they finally discover a proper piece of bread from a much larger loaf. These pieces of bread, though, aren’t often found by simply walking down a pleasant forest path or city sidewalk. Heavens, no. Rather, it would be far more like having to crawl under, or perhaps even through, barbed wire at one point, running from a pack of ravenous wolves at another, and so much more torment and turmoil. If anything, the Mage of Life may have one of the hardest journeys out of all the Mages. Their journey is not only meant to teach them how to become a proper healer so that they may make amends with the harm they have caused, but it is also meant to teach them how to be humble and kind to themself. 

One thing that may pose itself to be the biggest issue for the Mage of Life is having to learn that their needs sometimes are required to come first. They have only known self sacrifice for most, if not their entire life. In fact, it may be difficult for the Mage of Life to even perceive their way of life as harmful to themself, and may be overwhelmed at the thought of having to put their needs before others. This is not to say the Mage of Life is a pure, sweet, innocent soul - not at all. However, they are most definitely a victim of people taking advantage of their ability to listen and the patience that comes with it, all while allowing their supposed friends to walk all over them. The Mage would have to face these facts head-on if they ever wanted a fighting chance against their Aspect and the journey ahead of them. For some, or perhaps even most, of the Mages of Life would be terrified to admit that they allowed this to happen to them. Mages can be quite stubborn at times, after all, and having to face the fact they aren’t as strong as they present themself to be can possibly shatter their entire world. Over the course of their journey, though, would they come to learn and realize what true care, towards them specifically, looks like, and by design they will also see the harm that they have allowed to come to them for so long.

The journey of the Mage is meant to bring them to many places, as well as meet twice as many, if not more, people to help them learn and make their discoveries. Mages often prefer working alone, as one of the last things they’d hate to admit to is that they need someone, but they are also sometimes quick to give up in trying to push someone away if said person is especially stubborn. In the beginning, the Mage of Life wouldn’t know anything about proper self-care or how to go about truly fixing things. During their journey, though, they may slowly learn what it means to heal, forgive, and take care of themself by the places they go and the people they meet. Mages have a knack of being at the right place at the right time - even if such a place results in them becoming harmed. The Mage of Life may gain this knowledge by becoming hurt and having to tend to their own flesh wounds, learning from the mistakes they make along the way. They’d most likely be drawn towards places and people involved with healing, or at least things that promise knowledge on the topic. These things could range from various hospitals, libraries with books, various religious groups and buildings, people who may be official doctors, spiritualists, or as simple as an elderly person who has seen the harshness of the world while also seeing the good, or they may seek out fellow Life-bound in general.

As for the Mages of Life who wish to achieve knowledge through Life itself, this can become a far more abstract process of gaining knowledge and, as is often the case, a far tougher challenge to take on. While it may sound like the easier option - acquiring knowledge through the process of healing - it is most definitely anything but. The Mage of Life would have to allow themself to become hurt, sometimes in more ways than one, so that they may find ways to heal from it and gain such knowledge. However, even if they don’t actively seek out these opportunities of pain, the world around them will still see to it that the Mage of Life experiences enough hurt that they will have no choice but to heal. Through each scar they acquire, though, they gain more knowledge of what it means to live, heal, and move on. If they can survive all of these moments of pain and suffering, then they can survive anything. Not only that, but they can use the knowledge they have acquired to come back as a better person and an even better healer. One might even argue that Mages of Life who pick the latter option are the better healers of the two paths, though that is not always the case.

Some Mages of Life who pick this path may come back having more knowledge on healing and how to remain positive in the face of suffering, ready to give more aid and care to those they care about. Then there are those who may try to use the knowledge they received as a means to silence others - play the card of “well, I suffered a lot more than you have, and I turned out just fine. You have nothing to complain about.” Indeed, being a Life-bound does not guarantee that person to be one of kindness and positivity, especially if they begin to believe the world around them is doomed to be void of such things. On their journey, some Mages of Life may fall for this trap and as such believe that the world is beyond fixing, much like themself and everyone else around them. Some of these Mages of Life could be those who failed their journey; finding what was expected of them and their recovery too extreme and terrifying, and so they hid away and eventually came to resent their Aspect and what it stands for. As such, they could become a rather bitter and venomous person to be around - perhaps even becoming like that of the people who hurt and mistreated them in the past. It is hard to tell if those who failed journey have a higher chance of acting hostile due to lack of knowledge or from the fragments they were only ever able to collect before giving up. Either way, though, a Mage of Life at their worst is someone willing to play the long game, so long as they finally get to dig their claws into someone by the end of it.

While the journey for any Mage is daunting, dangerous, and sometimes downright terrifying, the Mage of Life is one who has to live a life of self-sacrifice before they can finally stand up, pack their things, and start their journey. Healing is not always a pretty process, but it is especially not pretty when you are a Mage of Life. As tempting as it may be to give up at times and allow this pain and injustice to continue, if the Mage of Life were to keep going, if only for a little while longer, they could become a valuable ally to have on someone’s team. By the time they have fully realized and captured the true knowledge of their Aspect, they will finally be able to realize their worth as a person and what it means to be a healer to not only those around them, but also to themself. A well-adjusted Mage of Life is one who is most often at the top of their game - full of energy, love, and happiness for everything and everyone around them. While they can’t heal via magical powers, they can most definitely heal their friends and allies through the special means they learned during their journey. 

In a way, the Mage of Life committed the ultimate self-sacrifice by putting themself through a horrible process of trial and errors, bruises and cuts, and so much more, if only so that no one else would have to go through what they did. To those who stayed true to themselves, though, were able to come out of it a better and stronger individual. They may not truly understand their self-worth just yet, but they still would be far quicker to realize when someone is not a good fit for them and as such would be as quick to slice them out of their life. They’ve had their battles, and they’ve gained their scars because of it, but the Mage of Life does not look upon them with shame or anger. Instead, they look at them as marks of progress in their journey. After all, to the Mage of Life, there is no such thing as failure, but rather a chance to learn and grow into something better. That is what the Mage of Life strives towards.

[janeykath318]

All I Want For Christmas (Shieldshock)

When are you going to finally tell him?” Jane hissed at her assistant, whose eyes were following the departing figure of one Steve Rogers with a great deal of admiration, leaning into thirst. 

Darcy immediately turned her gaze back to Jane, affecting ignorance. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said primly. “Who wouldn’t admire The Star Spangled Hunk With a Plan?” 

Jane snorted. “That was more than the average “admiration.” I know you better than that.” 

Darcy huffed and affixed her gaze sternly on the screen she was monitoring, hoping to discourage Jane from any further conversation on the topic. It was absurd. She was just another casual fangirl. It was perfectly natural. Who didn’t have a slight crush on Captain America?

“Ohh, Janey!” She exclaimed, glad for a diversion. “I think you’re gonna like these readings! We’re getting some good data here!”

Science quickly took over and Jane completely forgot about her matchmaking interests for the ensuing thirty six hours science binge! 

When it was over Darcy dragged Jane to bed, and stumbled blearily towards her own room, soon falling into blissful dreams of a blonde haired super soldier.

She woke with a gasp after a particularly vivid dream where she’d swooped her up and kissed her hard, heart fluttering wildly.

“I’m in so much trouble,” she groaned, burying her face under the pillow and willing herself to think of something—anything else!

When she and Jane had first moved into the tower, the only residents they’d met had been Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff. Both were badass and very fun to hang out with. As for Steve Rogers, she’d seen him mostly from a distance when he’d been talking to Tony in a lab or working out in a gym. 

The first encounter was in the spacious kitchen that most of the Avengers shared. Darcy was searching  for some ingredients for her famous banana waffles when she came face to face with a very bedraggled, bruised, and battered Captain America.

“Dude!” she’d gasped out. “Are you okay? You look like Thor took his hammer to your face.”

He’d smiled weakly, then winced as if it hurt to use any facial muscles. 

“I’ll be okay. S’already healing. Looking for an ice pack.” 

“Lucky for you, we’ve got a fair selection. Clint and Natasha use them a LOT.” Darcy rummaged in the freezer and found one, which she offered to him. “This work?” 

He’d accepted it with a grateful look and a quiet “Thank You.” 

“Rough mission?” she asked, sympathetically.”

“That’s an understatement,” he’d said wearily. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, ma’am. I’m going to go sit down before I fall down. Thanks, again.”

With that he’d excused himself and limped away, leaving Darcy a touch concerned, but also, wowed. 

The next time she saw him was sopping wet, stalking through the halls with a murderous expression that made Darcy scamper to stay out of his way. She’d never seen Captain America make that expression before and it was rather terrifying. Someone was about to get it. 

“Hey, Cap! Who pissed in your Cheerios?” Tony yelled as the angry soldier passed them. 

Steve stopped dead in his tracks. If looks could kill, Tony would have combusted on the spot.

“Are you responsible for this, Stark?” He said through gritted teeth. 

“No, but I wish I was,” the reckless Tony replied cheekily. 

Seeing Steve really was about to lose it, Darcy stepped in to intervene before things got out of hand. Cap wasn’t the type to get mad over a simple prank, so she guessed whatever it was had to have been very thoughtless. 

Stepping back into his path, she gave what she hoped was a winning smile.

“Don’t mind him, Cap. He has no sense of self preservation or tact. If you promise to not kill him, I’ll help you track down the real perpetrator and get revenge. I am an excellent prank detective.”

For a moment, he stared at her like she had two heads, then the frown started to ease and his shoulders relaxed. He wiped at his wet face and sighed heavily. 

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have let it get to me. It’s…..been a…….rough day for me and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. I really don’t like ice water, especially when it’s randomly dumped on my head.”

Now it was Darcy’s turn to frown. The poor man had been frozen for seventy years and this stupid prank had probably triggered him. 

“Yikes, Dude!” She said with a wince. “This calls for teaching a lesson, alright. How about you get into dry clothes and meet me in the lounge? We can start plotting. I think I may know the idiot who would have done this.” 

“Sounds like a plan, Miss….”

“Lewis, Darcy Lewis,” she finished. “And You’re Steve Rogers?” 

“In the flesh,” he confirmed, with a crooked little smile that was all kinds of cute. 

“Well, Steve, I hope you’ll trust me when I say you’ll never have to worry about this kind of thing happening again,” she said firmly. “Just ask Tony what I did when he messed with my coffee supply.” 

She gave her most evil, villainous grin, which made Tony shudder and Steve smile. .

Her dastardly plan was successful enough that Steve was left well enough alone and though he never told her what had been bothering him so much, she did a little searching and the tidbit she found made her ache for the man again. It was the anniversary of the day he’d lost his best friend. 

Darcy commenced Operation Be Kind To Steve shortly after, which involved leaving funny notes in the common areas, making sure there were regular deliveries of his favorite Apple Crumble Pie, and regularly greeting him cheerily when he stopped by the lab. 

After three or four months of this, she was quite smitten and wished she had the guts to ask him out, but with the fall of Shield and Steve’s search for The Winter Soldier, the timing was all wrong. So, she continued to worship from afar and expanded Operation Be Nice To Steve to include Bucky as well. 

Steve, who was looking much happier these days, had been sent by Natasha to inform them their presence was required at the upcoming  Avengers Karaoke night: Holiday Edition. Darcy had instantly accepted for both of them, causing Jane to sigh and try to probe Darcy about her crush. 

After three more science binges and sleeping for twelve hours straight, Darcy was more than ready for some fun. She put on some very flattering dark jeans, a glittery green top, and very long gold dangle earrings which she only wore when she was on “the hunt” so to speak.

Jane grinned knowingly at her and gave her a thumbs up. 

“Go for it, girl!” she encouraged. 

Darcy flushed and headed to the bar to get a drink for courage while Tony crooned Blue Christmas badly. As she sipped her drink and covertly eyed Steve, a familiar redhead joined her. 

“Well, is tonight the night you complete your wooing of Steve Rogers?” Nat asked with a knowing smile, looking over at Steve, who was talking with a shaggy-haired man that Darcy guessed was Bucky. 

“What would give you that idea?” Darcy said coyly, crossing one leg over the other and acting like she was totally chill.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the way you’ve been doing all those nice things for him, and the way you can’t take your eyes off him. Plus, you’re wearing the earrings you only wear when you’re trying to land a man.”

“It’s really annoying to live with so many spies,” Darcy huffed, taking another sip of her drink. Nat laughed. 

“If it helps, he’s been looking at you the same way,” Nat told her.

“Really?” Darcy asked, trying not to sound hopeful or excited.

“Really. I hope you have a good song picked out.” With a wink, Nat slipped away from the bar and strode onto the stage, where she proceeded to bring the house down with a killer version of Silver Bells.

Darcy was glad she didn’t have to follow that up, because, wow! 

Clint ambled on stage and delivered a mocking rendition of “Last Christmas” that had everyone doubled over laughing. His ridiculous falsetto and facial expressions were priceless and Darcy forgot her nervousness in laughter. 

When Clint had taken his bows, Darcy approached the mic and told JARVIS her song selection. Boldly, she locked eyes with Steve and sang right to him. 

“I don’t want a lot for Christmas,

There is just one thing I need, 

I don’t care about the presents 

Underneath the Christmas Tree.

I just want you for my own,

More than you could ever know, 

Make my wish come true, 

All I want for Christmas is you!” 

It was hard to see a reaction at first, but as she repeated the verses again, still looking at him, comprehension dawned, and his blue eyes grew wide, his cheeks started to flush, and a smile appeared that almost took Darcy’s breath away. 

Oh, wow. 

Had he just smoldered at her? 

“I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you!”

Before she’d even finished, he was on his feet and heading toward her. She could hear the other avengers giggling and whispering, but tuned it out once he got close. 

“Was that for me?” Steve asked.

Darcy’s face grew very warm under his searching gaze, and she slowly nodded.

“Yeah. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, but I just had to get it out there,” she said, heart in her throat. 

Steve looked at her and she looked back, mesmerized by his expression. 

Then, he bent down and made her dream come true by kissing her very decisively in a way that made her knees weak and left her in no doubt as to whether the interest was mutual.

“I’ll take that as a yes?” She gasped teasingly when they’d pulled apart. 

Steve nodded. 

“I Uh…..have been wanting to say something for awhile,” he admitted. “But I kept chickening out. Bucky here will tell you I’m no good at talking to pretty gals, and you are downright gorgeous.” 

Darcy’s heart fluttered at his compliment.

“You’re off to a pretty good start so far,” she told him, with a flirty eyebrow waggle. “How about we get out of here and find someplace more private?” 

“I’d like that,” Steve agreed, still holding her hand. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #367

“i should warn you that you may fuck me, but chances are i’m gonna fuck you over”

Where was the last place you went for vacation? The beach. When was the last time you wore makeup? Halloween. Do you watch soaps or drama series? If so, which ones? Not currently. What’s your favourite tomato variety? I hate tomatoes. What was your very first pet like? Dad had a dog named Trigger when I was born, but I have no memory of her, so I'm excluding her. I consider our first family pet to be Chance, a cat my mom took in after finding her literally in the trash. She was... god, incredible. She was a loyal friend, and I can imagine no greater mother than she was (she legit fought off a rottweiler head-on to protect her kittens). She was so smart, so gentle, and just simply amazing. I'll always miss her. What was the best school project you remember doing? Looking back, despite the fact it TERRIFIED me before, that would be my senior project presentation. It was about snake misconceptions and fallacies, so I made a slideshow to present to the special ed class. I made drawings for them to color, word searches, all that kind of stuff. They were just the sweetest and seemed really into it. What’s your favourite type of fish to eat? None. What kind of an old person do you think you’ll become? I really... don't like thinking about this. Like I'm weak enough now at 25, I can't imagine how my, say, 60s would be. I hope and just about pray that my physical health will improve, but I'm just going to exclude that part entirely from this answer. Personality-wise and such, I have a feeling I'll be the quiet and sweet kind, the one that loves her (hopeful) spouse like crazy, and comes most alive on Halloween if I live in a place where children come trick-or-treating. I imagine I would LOVE that. I'd love to be the type that goes on morning jogs to help stay spry. Which well-known person’s death shocked you the most, if any? Steve Irwin and Chester Bennington might be tied. Both were so, so sudden. Steve was like, invincible to my childhood eyes, and when I heard about Chester's death, I thought it was just a sick rumor. Two amazing people that died way too soon. What’s the craziest colour you’d dye your hair? That would depend on personal opinions. I want to dye my hair LOTS of colors though, if that tells you anything. What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? Uhhhh. Idk. Name a video game you can play over and over again: Shadow of the Colossus. It's a pretty short game if you know what you're doing, and it's super relaxing to me and just so goddamn pretty to look at. Every time I've played it has just been a pleasant experience. Do you like meatloaf? Yeah, it's fine. How about Meatloaf? I know who he is, but I've never really listened to his music. Do you take time to do charitable work? If so, what do you do? No. ;_; Especially with all the free time I have, I really should... What is something that will make you laugh instantly? Okay, don't ask, but if I for a SECOND see that commercial of Mr. Clean dancing while he's cleaning, I will die because of memories. What is something you hope you will never inherit from a specific relative? Diabetes. It runs heavily in my family. Name a movie you wouldn’t watch solely based on its name: The Human Centipede. No. Thank you. Have you ever played in a stack of hay bales? No. What’s your dearest souvenir? The stuffed moose I got at Cabela's during a visit to Ohio. I named him Brownie, and he was my "childhood plushie" we all have. Is there a lot of graffiti around your neighbourhood? Not in the actual area I live in, but there are DEFINITELY places where it's a pigsty of distasteful shit. Have you ever made your own soda? (Soda Stream doesn’t count!) No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? Nature photography. Have you ever been part of a theater group? No, that stuff doesn't interest me. What’s the most ecological thing you do? We recycle, and I also use metal straws. Would you stop eating meat, if you had to raise and slaughter it yourself? Absolutely. There is no fucking way I could do it. What’s your favourite board game? Why do you like it best? I like Clue just because of the mystery-solving factor, and I think it's kinda cool how you can think ahead and use other's findings to your own advantage to win the game pretty early. Besides English, what other languages can you speak? Some German. It's gotten pretty weak with neglect, though. Besides English, what other languages can you read? I can read German well. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you’ve been? This is a complicated answer that I just don't feel like elaborating on. What’s the most freeing thing you’ve ever done? Letting Jason go. Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? If not, would you even want to try one? No, and I'm not interested. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No. How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? Honeysuckles. What has been your worst restaurant experience? Well, it's a fast food restaurant, but lemme tell you about my vegetarian encounter with Burger King. I ordered their veggie burger. Which they have. It's not a secret. These idiots gave me a bun with tomato and lettuce, and I think mayo on it, after sounding confused when Mom was ordering for me. Mom went back in there of course to tell them, and oh god was the manager pissed, lol. I got my veggie burger in the end. What’s the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? Some sexually inappropriate jokes can still get me sadly, lol. Have you ever had a life-threatening condition? If so, what was it? Not literally, but boy do I think depression counts. Do you ever compare your life to somebody else’s? If so, why? Y E P. I can't tell you why, I just... do it. I look at other's successes and am just like, "Why aren't I there yet?", and beat myself up about being a failure. What is a food item or a dish you absolutely cannot stand? Brussel sprouts, asparagus, runny eggs, many other things because I'm just mega picky. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? Just the spray paint kind that vendors like to do at the beach and stuff. I don't remember any I got, though. What does your favourite mug look like? It's black with a Markiplier quote on it, given to me by Sara. :') Do you ever read other people’s survey answers? Yeah! Friends', anyway. I love learning all the obscure things about them. Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Daytime, specifically early morning, because it's better for my depression. Are you more comfortable as a leader or a follower? A follower that isn't afraid to speak up when I'm really against something. What is your favourite song right now at this very moment? I've been really into "7empest" by Tool lately, and the synthwave edit of "Voices" by Motionless In White. If you watched The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, who was your favourite character? I don't remember it well, but I think I liked the butler. Was there even a butler? Who was your first online friend? Emma. :') Do you have any plants in your home? No. If you wear makeup, what’s the most outrageous colour you use? I only ever use black. What was the last photograph you took? My cat being adorable while sleeping. <3 Have you ever submitted a video to Funniest Home Videos? No. What was the first sport you learned how to play? I want to say soccer? I absolutely hated it. Do you have a headache at the moment? Yes, actually. I've really been attacked by the Covid shot side effects. Are your parents still together? No, thank god. What was the last hot food you ate? I made a chicken and I think pesto (some Italian noodles, idk) Healthy Choice bowl for dinner last night. Have you ever seen a meteor shower? No. :( Do you ever feel afraid people will question your sanity? I'm sure people have before, and back then? Rightfully so. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? Never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? Always. It's so weird how it's gotten worse with time since leaving school, even though I write... Were you a straight A student in math? Yeah, no. I usually got Bs or Cs. What is your favorite shade of yellow? Pastel. I don't really like yellow. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Have a stable job. Are you afraid of getting yelled at? YES. Do you feel a connection to the moon? It's not something I think about, so not really, but I do believe all things in the universe are connected in some way. We are simply a part of nature, as all else is. What does your heart long for? Contentment in who I am and where I am in life. I know I also miss being in love. Do you know what your purpose in life is? We have no innate purpose; we make our own, and I want mine to be to show others that there is always hope for yourself in yourself, and also to spread the message of love of all animals. Did you decorate a pumpkin this year? Last year I didn't. I really should change that this go around. Have you ever seen a fox? Yes! They're a kind of rare sight here sadly, so when I had the opportunity to photograph a fox tragically as roadkill, it was a photographic experience I won't forget. God, I wanted to pet it (I obviously didn't), but I did talk to it about how beautiful (s)he was as I got some shots. I never had a harder time leaving one of those angels I've taken pictures of. Do you find Halloween fun or scary? FUN!!!!!! Is there anything about Halloween you find offensive? Not at all. What do the trees look like where you live? I mean, there's a variety, but the staple that you see literally everywhere are pine trees. What is your dream vacation? Somewhere with mountains, clear lakes, cool weather, beautiful and various wildlife... What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? The zoo in the 5th grade. It was the one occasion I got to see meerkats. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? I lived for them. Do you find museums boring or interesting? I find science museums to be very, very fascinating. Art ones are great, too. What are three issues you are passionate about? LGBT rights, the pro-choice movement, and wildlife conservation, to name a few. Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? No. I'm not patriotic enough at all. What size is your bed? Queen. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? When we were experimenting with my Klonopin dosage, I learned that 3mg was enough to knock me on my ASS. Do you like bath bombs? I mean they're pretty, but I wouldn't waste money on 'em. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? Yikes, a looooooot. But this also depends on what you think qualifies as "small." Most of my favorite "small" YTers are tarantula keepers or sub-1M let's players. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? Markiplier obviously, Snake Discovery, Good Mythical Morning (even if I don't watch them anymore, they are veeery dear to my heart and I will always support them), Sam & Colby... Again, there's a lot. When you don't watch TV and YT instead, you really get attached to a lot of them. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Would you believe me if I said Pussycat Dolls? haha Do you like Disney movies? Um, DUH. Were you ever in the popular crowd? No. Have you ever used an outhouse? UGH, at like childhood sports games, yes. I could NEVER nowadays, oh my god. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I think I have the creativity to, but not the dedication. Are there any foods that make you gag? Beans, for one. I just canNOT with them. It's a completely involuntary reaction. Have you ever had blonde highlights in your hair? I think I did? Who was the last person you video-chatted with? The lady who was seeing if I qualified for TMS therapy. Do you think sleeve tattoos look trashy? Definitely not, I love those. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? I don't actually want one, but if I did, I'd go to a serious professional to get THE Darkiplier smile. :') If u know u know. Do you have any stickers on any of your electronic devices? No. Do you think half blonde/half dark brown hair is attractive? It looks great on some people, but it's not my favorite combo.

[marcoacesabo]

Hello !! I love your writing and I wanna ask you if it's possible a MAS with an omegaverse theme! Like two alpha for one omega or one alpha for two omega please? (nsfw will be an add but do as you feel) thank you and have a good day

Sabo is an omega. A real shock to everyone that meets him, seeing as he is nothing like a proper omega should be. But then again, he’s not exactly the type of person who follows people's expectations in any other area either.

Despite the fact he dresses like a prince, Sabo would rather be the knight in the heat of battle.

Despite the fact he is fair in hair, Sabo is far from the stereotype dumb blond (which is a dumb stereotype, to begin with)

Despite the fact he is noble, Sabo can often be found in the commoners market scoffing at the rich men’s sensitivities.

 Being an omega wasn’t a big role in his life nor was it something to take much notice in everyday activities. It was just something he was, the same importance as being tall- another thing that made people believe he was an alpha- where someone would point it out only in selected settings.

In the old days, omegas weren’t allowed as many rights as their alphas and betas counterparts seeing as they were seen as the “delicate” and “frail”  sort of people. But times have changed, and nowadays people have come to terms with the fact that their Presenting was not in charge of their worth or roles in society.

Of course, there were some that clung to the old ways, (his parents were a fine example) who had the ideal image of what Presenting class were supposed to be and stereotypes still ran rampage (Which is why people got shocked at Sabo’s) but they weren’t as limiting as before.

With the invention of Scent Suppressers, most of the youth didn’t even know what Presenting class their friends were without one of them saying it themselves.

Sabo, however, can admit to being lonely. He wanted a Beta or Alpha to cuddle up with but not because of his class. He just likes being the big spoon to someone and having a fulfilling romantic relationship.   

Just his luck that only Omegas and the rare not his type Betas flirted with him. The last time he almost screamed when an Omega had attempted to lure him in with a naughty little hint of his scent. The guy had been far too daring but Sabo gave him points for trying.

There were a few he liked, but for some reason, they didn’t like him. Now it was stated that his P class was only pointed out in certain circumstances, and while true, they tended to be mostly in his love life. A real inconvenience if you asked him.

“I just wish someone would stay with me even after finding out my P Class.” He whines to Koala and Law, who was a Beta and Alpha respectively. They were taking a break together at a local cafe as per usual in their work schedules. “Did I tell you the last date I went on ended with a “You shouldn’t trick innocent Betas like myself.” bit? Like hey asshole, you were the one that walked up to me at the bar, not the other way around.” 

Koala snorts into her hand.  “Sounds like you dodged a real loser then.”

Law raised his hot chocolate as if though he was casting a blessing upon the table. “To our amazing dodging skills good lads. And lady.”

“We all know I’m the best lad here” Koala counters easily. “When it comes down to it, you’re both peasants.”

“Isn’t Sabo a literal lord? Or was that a fever dream I had once.”

“It was a fever dream”

“Figured.”

Sabo hated to admit it, but his friends' antics did cause his lips to twitch in amusement. He didn’t want to be cheered up though, he wanted to pout a bit and whine about his bad luck. “Can we please get back on topic? How am I ever going to find love?”

Koala tapped her chin then snapped her fingers. Based on her expression Sabo knew to be on guard. “We could set you up.”

“I rather eat poison.” Sabo quickly shots down the idea. Across from him, his best friends deflates with a pout. 

“I rather you do that then whine about how lonely you are too”  Law tacks on with a nonchalance that the blond envies sometimes. “Besides, what the worst that can happen? You go on a date, it doesn’t work and you keep looking.”

Sabo rubs a hand over his face. “I don’t date a friend’s family or friends. It makes things awkward if they don’t work out.”

Koala blows out a dramatic sigh rolling her eyes at his rules. Which wasn’t fair, Sabo had them for a reason!  “Well, how else are you going to meet someone? Going door to door with a boyfriend application?”

Sabo frowns at her, choosing to take a bite out of his muffin then grace that sarcasm with an answer. At that moment the cafe door is swung open, the little bell at the top announcing the arrival of new customers.

 Law slumps in his seat with a groan when he spots them over the girl’s shoulder.  “Oh great, Strawhat-ya is here and I look like garbage. Again.”

At this both Sabo and Koala perk up. They have been hearing little mentions of the infamous Strawhat for over three months now, ever since Law joined a local art class in which the Alpha meets the bubbling crush of his.

From the various stories- note the various rants and whining- Law has only been able to cross paths with the younger male when he looks his “worse” aka in the early mornings the class started at (A time everyone knows Law looked half-dead) or whenever the other model wasn’t prepared.  

Sabo wanted to point out they were on break between a photoshoot and all three had turn heads down the street but he chooses not to. Despite the fact, Law is a professional model the Alpha still had trouble coming to terms with people thinking him attractive. 

Bullying tended to leave some scars after all.

“Which one is he?” Sabo asks attempting to crane his neck over Koala’s shoulder without making it obvious. She also turns around but unlike Sabo, she doesn’t let her eyes linger before returning her gaze to the fluster Alpha on the blond’s right side.

 Law jabs an elbow into his rib. “Stop it. He’s going to see us! And who do you think I’m talking about when I saw Strawhat-ya in a group of guys with only one of them wearing a straw hat?”

“Sheesh, no need to be mean about it I just-”

“Traffy?” The straw hat-wearing young man says across the cafe. He seems to have barely noticed them but the way his face brights up it seems as if though his favorite holiday came early. Sabo can see the appeal, the kid is as cute as a button.

Not his type, but adorable none the less as the guy practically skips over. He seems to be unaware or uncaring of the stares he’s receiving from the other customers and Sabo likes him that much more.

Behind him, a group of four males follows, all seeming used to their friend running off mid-conversation. 

“Hello, Strawhat-ya.” Law says, cooly. Koala’s pleasant smile she uses on strangers twitch and Sabo tries not to sigh out loud. To any who didn’t know him, Law came off as snobbish and standoff-ish, whenever he became nervous his face twisted to lock down any emotion. 

Right now, with his face perfectly blank, he was probably terrified with nerves. Luckily “Strawhat” took it in stride.  “I didn’t know you liked this place!”

“I visit it on my breaks some times.” Law gestures to the other two people on the table making the big round eyes take them in for the first time.  “By the way, this is Sabo and Koala.”

“Hello.” 

“How do you do?”

Strawhat stares at them with such an intense expression for a few seconds Sabo’s almost sure he’s sizing them up for a fight before it clears away and he happily gestures to his own group. For half a second the blond wonders if he imagined that. “This is Zoro, Ussop, Marco and Ace. Guys this is Traffy.”

Sabo turns his polite smile onto the group, following the hand that points each male out and almost swallows his tongue on the last two. Wow. Now there was certainly his type.

Koala kicks him which alerts Sabo he may have been staring a little too much. Thank the Sea the table cloth is long enough to hide her action otherwise he would have ended up looking like a bigger full.  

Unknown to him, the two males had noticed his stare and had shared a glance with knowing smiles. Koala is quick to invite the group to join them which they all agree to after pushing the tables together.

Strawhat ends up sitting to a very tense Law, and Sabo is somehow moved to sit next to Marco as a result. 

“Luffy tells us you're a model.” Ace starts with a polite smile. 

“I am,” Law says in a cutting tone. Sabo almost winces. 

Not seeming to mind the raven hair grins. “I’m a fashion designer myself. Marco and Luffy are too.”

“That’s nice.”  

There is a short pause where Sabo is trying to think of something, anything, to say when Marco suddenly lends into his side and whisper in his ear. “I don’t mean to be rude but your Scent Suppresser ran out.”

Sabo wonders if he was expecting him to blush or turn wide eyes at him. Some Omegas got embarrassed when that happened but really it was the same as seeing a girl’s bra straps. It didn’t matter. 

“So?” He asks with a raised brow. 

Much to his surprised delight, the other man found this answer amusing. “So nothing I suppose yoi.”

Ace who is sitting on Marco’s other side grins over the taller blond shoulder at Sabo.  “Oh, I like you. I’m an Alpha myself, so is Marco here. We sometimes ditch the suppressers too”

Sabo feels a thrill from the top of his head to the bottom of his toes. He takes another bite of his muffin eyeing the pair that seem to be having a conversation with nothing but gestures and glances. 

Not willing to get his hopes up but liking the possibility he grins. “Then I think we get along just fine gentlemen.”

Meanwhile, Koala, Zoro, and Ussop all gave each other uncomfortable looks seeing as they felt like the rest of the table were in their own little world. 

“So er, you guys like spicy food?” Koala asks as Luffy made gooey eyes at the stone-version of Law and Sabo shamelessly flirted with Ace and Marco.

[snowgloberoundandround]

Tagged by @hpfangirl13 !!! (HAPPY MAGNUM FINALE DAY, GIRL!!!!!!!!!!) *raises a glass*

What is the colour of your hairbrush? Black and teal, and then I also have a blue Olaf one

Name a food you never eat? Green beans are the devil’s vegatable.

Are you typically too warm or too cold? Always too cold

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Singing through Kacey Musgrave’s “Golden Hour” album in the shower

What is your favourite candy bar? Butterfingers

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? Baseball lots (which I love) and one or two hockey games. Someday I’ll make it to a soccer match...

What is the last thing you said out loud? “By themself”

What is your favourite ice cream? Rainbow Sherbert and Mint Chocolate Chip

What was the last thing you had to drink? Starbuck’s pink drink

Do you like your wallet? LOVE it. It’s a Beauty and the Beast design from Loungefly

What was the last thing you ate? Salad

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Gosh I wish

The last sporting event you watched? Marble Olympics. My family (including my cat) has been fixated on it this quarantine

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? @emberslovesthearmadillo makes the most AMAZING cheesy garlic popcorn and wE GET TO DO MOVIE NIGHTS AGAIN REAL SOON IMMA STRAIGHT UP CRY OVER HERE

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? One of the vets at work

Ever go camping? About once a year and we were supposed to go at the end of May but that’s not happening :c

Do you take vitamins? So many, unfortunately

Do you go to church every Sunday? I try to, but sometimes my chronic fatigue is real bad and I’ve gotta stay home and rest after a long work week, but we have a livestream so I almost always watch that if I’m resting at home.

Do you have a tan? I most definitely do not but it’s finally getting warm so I am READY (I’m gonna burn so hard)

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Chinese food! I’m Asian at heart

Do you drink your soda with a straw? That would imply that I drink soda

What colour socks do you usually wear? The brighter, the better! My favorite socks to wear to work though have syringes and stethoscopes and various organs all over them though

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? SWEATS I try not to but I definitely do

What terrifies you? Got attacked by wasps one time and that was a real bad time

Look to your left, what do you see? My iPad that is blankly begging me to stop procrastinating on drawing mom’s present

What chore do you hate? Loading the dishwasher. Slimy food? HATE it

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Tinkerbell from OUAT

What’s your favourite soda? Again, bold of you to assume I drink soda

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? I’d go in if I could but alas, desperate times

Who’s the last person you talked to? My mom

Favourite cut of beef? Cheeseburger

Last song you listened to? Butterflies by Kacey Musgraves

Last book you read? The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Riddle of Ages

Favourite day of the week? Friday because Magnum and Blue Bloods!!!

Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes but I’d have to mentally say it forward in between every letter to remember the order

How do you like your coffee? Loooove me a caramel macchiato or caramel frappuccino

Favourite pair of shoes? Definitely my thigh-high suede boots

The time you normally go to bed? Well two nights ago it was 7pm and last night it was 10:30pm and I’d say somewhere between the two is normal

The time you normally get up? 6 on work day, but if I’ve been off for several days in a row I start pushing 9

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets, but I treasure the moments I see the sunrise

How many blankets on your bed? Ummmm I think I have ten right now. I’m constantly shamed in my household for hoarding all the blankets.

Describe your kitchen plates: Green plates with apples are the staple kitchen ware, but we have red ones we use a lot too. Minimalistic white ones for the nights my brother decides to go master chef

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? I consider black coffee to be hard liquor

Do you play cards? My family FEARS my prowess at Dutch Blitz. It gets REAL up in here

What colour is your car? The fact that the paint is legally called “space gray” may or may not have been influencing factor in my purchasing of the vehicle in question. (I also fondly call it the Millenial Falcon)

Can you change a tire? Mmm probably in a pinch

Your favourite province? I’ve only been to British Columbia but I do love it

Favourite job you’ve ever had? What I do now! Surgical Vet Assistant

How did you get your biggest scar? I’ve got a six inch vertical incision below my belly button where they pulled 2.7 liters of fluid out of my abdomen, as one does

What did you do today that made someone else happy? I told a golden retriever she was a good girl and she stuck her nose in my face waiting for me to say it again

Tagging any one who wants to do it! Tag me so I can see your answers too! ^^

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰👑🐲⚔️🥔 - DMODT 72 - I've started today's quota 😜

It wasn't just Eren who's life was pulled to pieces. The second day of the trial saw both Armin and Historia called to answer questions. Armin's on account of how he'd grown up without ever considering the possibility that he could be royalty, followed by what he hoped to shape Eldia into and how would Eldia support Marley if Dina was to not return to the throne. Not having had to give a royal address, or having had to step so far out of his comfort zone, Armin's performance stunted and stuttered, bumbling his way through with a red face at the end. Historia faced an equally rough time. Draecia's stance of non-interference questioned over how it conveniently ceased to exist when it'd come to the princess private friends. They also questioned if the three dragons had actually been insane. Yes, they had been. Yes, magic had been used. Yes, the shackles and collars presented to the court were the ones used on the dragons. No, she'd never personally met the dragon. Yes, their identity had been confirmed. No... well, yes, you'll have to accept the testimony of a three-hundred-year old dragon that lives in the back of Levi's mind. Yes, they have the sword that infected him. No, it wasn't safe for anyone other than Levi to draw and handle it. Yes, it'd been the one Marley had tried to steal. Yes, the sword Zeke wore on his hip was made from Obsydin's mate. No, Eren had not known. Yes, they may examine and compare the scales between the shackles and Vermil's sword. Yes, possible infection may be possible. Yes, both Eren and Levi were both still affected. Yes, Eren's scales had been blackened. Yes, he had excess scale growth on his back. Completely inappropriately Eren was asked to bare his back, Freya using her magic to slice through his robes then to rejoin them. Yes, Zeke had known about this. No, Historia didn't know Zeke intimately and there had been no way to save him, or to save Erwin. Yes, she and Eren had tried to seal Obsydin's sword and failed. Yes, it went against not interfering, but Eren is a dragon with Levi as his human rider. No, it's not a typical arrangement. Yes, he has proven himself a good father to Luca despite the racial difference. Historia held her head high, projecting confidence despite the situation. Ymir, however, was ropable over the treatment of her pregnant mate. For Levi it was relief that Eren wasn't the only one they'd taken a hard stance on, though it wasn't a pleasure to see their friends going through the same treatment Eren had. The omega was holding his hand hard enough to crush it. Marley had been confident until it turned to their turn. Everyone in their party had thought Eren would be called to answer the tribunal again, yet, a rather severe looking man by the name of Theo Magath was called upon. As commander of the Marleyan Army, the man seemed... somewhat lacking. Perhaps it was simply Levi's self drawn conclusion, but it seemed to him that he was a man with his back against the proverbial wall. The way he talked and the way he carried himself indicated he believed in Marley and his home countries actions, but knew he was now in an impossible situation. Dina was the only one who wouldn't be walking away from this trial, and without some form of help from Eldia, Marley would fall. It was clearly a tough internal struggle for the man, shaking his beliefs to the very core. Speaking words of love for his homeland, and hate for both Eldia and Draecia, he served to make Dina proud. His gravely voice speaking of the few times he'd been at the same events Eren and Zeke had attended. Zeke keeping the omega on a short leash, and Eren's only redeeming social grace was that he knew how to keep his mouth shut. Continuing on, he explained how Zeke had betrayed them all at the final hour by choosing Eren over Marley. How unsettling it had been for everyone in Marley to learn that Zeke had impregnated Eren, only for the truth to finally be revealed that the child was not Zeke's at all. As the man began divert on that tangent, he was pulled back into line. The questions pertaining to Eren shifted back to Zeke and the sword he'd left Eren. Again, it fell to yes and no questions. Yes, he'd seen the sword before. Yes, it belonged to Prince Zeke, but... he wasn't allowed to explain his "but". Scolded that the question only required a yes or no answer, Magath clearly didn't appreciate taking orders from someone younger than himself. Keeping to the topic of Zeke and the sword, Magath was questioned over his knowledge of the slaughter of dragons along the border between Marley and Draecia. Initially he denied knowledge, insulting magic users until he eventually tripped over his own tongue, roaring that the threat dragons posed meant they couldn't ignore the great, and while weaponry had been developed, it wasn't enough. Mentally Levi was shaking his head the man, his face turned a ruddy red as he reiterated repeatedly that he'd done what he needed to protect to Marley. If Marley hadn't been completely fucked over by its royal family, the man's loyalty might have actually meant something. If he could take even a drop of that fire and turn it into a bullet... well, the consequences could be scary... if he wasn't going up against dragons, or Eren. Mostly Eren. Eren would protect the people of Marley to the death if pushed that far, and even if it meant destroying himself in the process. Given the gravity of the weigh the omega carried on his shoulders it was painfully easy to forget from time to time just how young Eren truly was. He wasn't even 19 when Levi was infected by Obsydin, yet the first thing he did was attempt to seal the dragon with his soul. A stupidly selfless act. Over and over again, Eren had pushed himself to the very limits of sanity in the search for peace. Over and over again he'd been the light in the darkness for Levi, his fire burning bright even when dimmed by the driving rains and howling winds of the storm his existence brought with it. No. Even if Magath fired that bullet, Eren's fierce and desperate love would ensure it would never reach its target. That's why Marley was left to grasp at straws. Left to twisting the truth and self promotion to prevent the world from crashing down on them in a battle that would erase the country from existence. They were in too deep now, and like many had wished over the centuries, they could not turn back the hands of time. When court let out for the day, the Eldia party retired to Historia's room again. Settling her mate down on their bed, Ymir wouldn't allow anyone close, despite Historia softly scolding her for her behaviour. With his arms around Eren's waist, Eren had his face buried against Levi's neck, simply holding each other as they processed another long day. Luca had caught the attention of Armin, while Viren was in Moblit's hold so that the two mate's might have a moment to regroup. The constant tit-for-tat was far more a strain on each of them than the hours spent standing in the courtroom. Levi could feel Eren's exhaustion almost bleeding into him, his alpha upset that their omega was so vulnerable to everything, and that they couldn't make a single thing about the situation better. Further back in his mind Obsydin was upset that Vermil's sword was still in possession of the tribunal for testing against the scales used to imprison the battle dragons. If all he had left of his mate was a scale, he'd never want to lose the item from his sights. Sighing heavily, Hanji broke the silence as she addressed Freya "Do you know what we should expect tomorrow?" Freya was as clueless as the rest of them "I'm afraid not. Maria and my father are yet to make an appearance in the courtroom. We must also await the results of the tribunal's test. Though their questions were hard, I believe that Marley is not going so well. Their Commander Magath has a clearly deep rooted dislike of magic" "Normally I would be the first to agree, but did you see the looks they gave at the explanation of Levi still carrying Obsydin. I don't think they believed the details" "Levi is what he is. He is an alpha human male, infected by dragons blood. We cannot change that. If we could give them the sword examine in a controlled environment, they may be more willing to accept things. Though, they did acknowledge that magic does run through the blade, so that is something" "But what's to stop them from saying it's Eren's magic? Obsydin was supposed to drive people crazy. Dragons even. Eren is part dragon, so how can we say that, when Eren is... standing there mostly intact" "Obsydin holds a very small part of Eren's soul that impossible to reclaim. If anything, Levi is the one we need to continually watch. Obsydin may have quietened his mind, but there is still an enormous strain there..." Levi would have growled if Eren hadn't given the softest of whimpers, his lover holding him even tighter "How do we know that if we do submit the sword for testing, that they won't use a magic that will cause some kind of issue?" "We don't. Absolutely none of us were prepared for Obsydin to still live. His case is unique, as is the fact he is a human rider. Being paired with Eren is the only precaution we can take... No offence, Levi. I'm purely speaking speculation" "No offence" was easy to say, but it didn't take the pain from Eren's scent, nor did it ease the burden on his mate "Look. Obsydin and I have a deal. If something was to happen, he'd step in. Right now though, I would avoid upsetting him. The tribunal has the sword of his mate, the last traces of Vermil. It's not a pleasant or easy subject" Hanji sighed again "This is something we..." "Hanji, not now. Talking in court is terrifying, and I think both Historia and I need a break from all this heavy negativity. Why don't we have dinner early? I know it's barely late afternoon, but I could sleep like the dead" Snorting against him, Eren nodded "Food and sleep sounds like a good plan" "We aren't going to discuss what happened in there?" Interrupted by both Eren and Armin, Hanji didn't sound pleased. Had Erwin been alive to be there, he would have insisted on a debriefing "We'll talk at breakfast tomorrow. Everyone is far too exhausted Hanji. Don't make me use my prince voice" "Oh no! The Eldian prince is getting bossy, Historia. Whatever shall we do?" Yawning, Historia ruined the teasing moment "I don't know. I'm sorry, I really am rather tired. I think tonight I should just rest" Pulling away, Eren smiled at Historia "I understand completely. Why don't the rest of us have dinner in Armin's room, that way he can deal with the crumbs in the bed" Bowing slightly, Freya then shook her head "I'm sorry. I too must excuse myself. I want to write down what happened today before I forget. Don't let our absence stop you" That was how it ended up with purely the Eldia party in Armin and Mikasa's shared room. Leaving his side, Eren had moved to Armin's. Levi was forced to squash down his jealousy as Armin snuggled into Eren's side, only finally beginning to relax when he realised Eren wasn't about to leave. The alpha hadn't thought of how hard it must have been for Armin to once again talk about how he'd been lied to his entire life. From the way he spoke, the Arlert's clearly loved the boy before their death. Maybe it would have been easier for Armin had they not? That way Armin wouldn't have been left feeling so conflicted over finding out his family wasn't actually his family. The way Levi looked at it, it was basically adoption, and as an adoptive father, he say without a shadow of a doubt that he adored Luca. It didn't matter to him that Luca couldn't speak to them with words, or that he was a dragon. Luca was Luca. He loved him and his mischievous outlook on life. If there was one thing he could change, it would be to undo all the terrible memories he'd left his son with as he was losing his mind. Even Luca's razor sharp claws made it onto his love list, as they were part of Luca. All of this was he couldn't say. He'd sound like a shitty idiot if he tried to put it into words, and may very well end up insulting Armin instead of helping. If Eren was to say it, he was sure the omega would get the point across. Why did his words have to falter when it came to talking to anyone but Eren? Even Hanji... He'd known her for so long, yet as they sat across from each other, she seemed unreachable. That night was far from peaceful. Staying in Armin's room, the silence was disturbed by Freya informing them that Historia had gone into labour, and as such, Ymir had taken her back to Draecia. The female dragon decreeing that if anyone was to follow them, or to disturb them, they'd find themselves small enough to fit within a snuff box... provided she was feeling generous enough to not erase them from existence completely. Eren was both worried and ecstatic, he and Armin quick to start guessing at clutch sizes and names, which Mikasa was soon pulled into. Armin and Mikasa also receiving a lesson in birthing a clutch that struck them speechless, and somewhat queasy looking. Surely they'd both had the "talk" by now, but in Armin's case he may have thought it really never needed given he was much happier with his books than people. It was funny how Eren hadn't been able to draw Mikasa into conversation since their fight, but as they got to talking, they fell back into natural habits, like the fight had never happened. Watching Eren interact with his best friends, Levi sighed wearily to himself having finally decided it was time for that talk with Hanji. He'd been talking himself out of it all along, building the issue to the point he grew angry at the mere thought of her. Eren and their sons would be safe under Mikasa's watchful gaze for a few hours, he'd already retrieved Luca's blanket, and Viren's clean nappies. Quietly excusing himself, he left to face Hanji, her room right down the hall and given Historia had gone into labour, Moblit was probably caught listening to her ask him a million questions over the birth of clutch, while Moblit's cheeks would be red as he attempted to curb Hanji's enthusiasm over the birth of the new dragons? It'd be dragons, right? She was having a clutch... so it had to be dragons? But then, how was a dragon rider born? Did they come from eggs? Shit. Hanji's imagined enthusiasm was wearing off on him, thought he was relieved that Historia wouldn't have to give evidence again, and that something joyous was finally happening after all the craptastic fun court was turning out to be. Reaching Hanji's door, Levi was quick to close just as fast as he'd opened it. There was a whole lot of nope in that room, that left his cheeks warm as he backed away. Talking to Hanji was postponed. Levi interrupting her and Moblit in a less than desirable position, leaving him with mental scarring he definitely didn't need and a profound regret that he didn't knock. Returning to Armin's room, Levi found Eren settled down for the night with Viren laying on his chest. Armin was curled into Luca, with Mikasa laying on the other side. How they'd all fitted into the same bed together, Levi wasn't sure. All he was left with was his annoyance that Eren wasn't in his arms, and that he'd seen Moblit dick deep in a very naked Hanji. His omega was probably going to laugh himself stupid once Levi informed him of the horrors he'd been forced to witness. * Eren was affectionate when he woke to find Levi sleeping in the room's less than comfortable chair. Rousing Armin to watch over Viren, the omega was quick to take Levi by the hand and lead him from the room. Confused as what was happening, the alpha found himself pinned against the wall between their rooms, Eren hungrily devouring Levi's mouth as he ground up against him for several long moment. Breaking the kiss with a shy smile, his omega nested his face against Levi's shoulder with a happy sigh "Well that was one hell of a wake up" Not caring they were in the corridor, Eren pressed a kiss to his neck "Mmm. I'm excited" With his erection poking Levi's thigh, Levi had already been clued in on his omega's mood. With last night's excitement and the trial's continuance, a horny lover was not what he'd expected "I can see that. I wasn't expecting this" "I know... can we? Fuck it, we can. I want you" Taking his hand again, Levi was pulled into their bedroom. While his dick was now wide awake, his brain was still struggling to catch up. Eren hadn't wanted sex... but for some reason that had gone out the window... again, he was definitely not complaining... he still wasn't complaining as they found their way into the shower, and he found his way between Eren's legs. Or when he was slightly over enthusiastic as he fucked Eren up against the shower will, with his lover's long legs wrapped firmly around his waist, mewing and moaning until both lovers finally came. Coming down from his high, Eren's lips were quick to find his again. His fingers threaded through Levi's hair as his green eyes stared down at him with such love that Levi couldn't find the words to tell him how incredibly in love with he was. It was Eren who finally brought him back to reality, his words mumbled through his kiss swollen lips "I really fucking love you" Snorting, Levi hiked Eren up slightly so his omega could rest his whole weights against the wall "I really fucking love you too. Want to tell me what suddenly changed your mind about fucking?" Eren took a long moment to reply, his fingertips moving to lightly scratch Levi's scalp "I just... had a dream about giving birth to your clutch. Maybe it's because Historia went into labour, but in my dream we had a whole brood of our own. All of this was over and it was me, and you, and Luca, and Viren, and another pup... and I... I think my omega's picked up on Historia's scent and is sending my body all kinds of mixed signals. I just need you... I feel almost dizzy with how much I need you right now" Dizzy wasn't good. Placing his palm to Eren's forehead, he didn't feel a fever. Levi was also fast to scold himself. They were in a hot shower. His hands too warm to tell, given how everything was warm "I'm not sick" "I was more concerned with you going into heat" Eren pouted "I'm not in heat. It's my omega being a shit. It wants it alpha to make everything better, and it wants another baby" Nuzzling into Eren chest, Levi mouthed his way down to take Eren's right nipple in his teeth. Biting gently, his lover moaned and clenched around him "So soon?" Rocking his hips Eren whined at the lack of movement, Levi smirking as he sucked "Not right away... God... Mmmm... my body needs to heal... but yes..." Pulling off Eren's nipple, his mate whined "Don't stop" "I'm not going to stop. I wanted to ask what you needed..." "What I needed?" "From me" "I need you to fuck me and knot me..." "I meant today. Should I scent you? Or wait until we're out the shower and screw your senseless? Cover you with the smell of our sex" Taking Eren's left breast in his hand, Levi moved to tease his neglected nipple "Scent me... I don't... don't want to smell like sex... in front of the kids... shit, you're going to make me come like this..." "Come as much as you like. You're safe with me" "I know... don't let anyone too close... my instincts... she's not even here and I want to protect her and her clutch..." Growling, Levi bit down hard enough for Eren to shriek. He didn't want his love thinking of another "Sorry. Sorry, sir. I wanted... you to understand" "I do, but no more talking of others while we are like this... I want your focus completely on me, sweet boy" "Sorry... I'll be good" "I know you'll be good for me. Always so good for me sweet boy. But I do think you need some form of punishment" Eren's eyes widened, his delight far too evident "No. Not a spanking. No, this one I'm going to save until I've knotted you all over again" "Will I like it?" "You're not supposed to like it" "Be gentle?" Abandoning Eren's breast, Levi cupped his mate's face, Eren nuzzling into his touch "Eren, you know I wouldn't hurt you maliciously as a form of punishment" "I do. I guess I should say you need to think of me like I'm coming out of heat. All I want to do is cling, and fuck, and cry. But I don't want to be a bother" "I would love nothing more than to hold you all day. You're not a bother, I promise you" "I don't want to go to court today" "Neither do I. I didn't have enough sleep last night" "I should have let you sleep" Eren's smile fell, Levi not liking it "Hey, I am more than happy to be woken up by my beautiful lover. I was simply surprised, is all. You said no sex, then you treat me to your body like this... I don't mind being sleepy" "I do. I saw you creep out last night. Where did you go?" So Eren had noticed? "We'll talk about that after. Now I've got you messed up like this, I intended to make the most of it" The second round was hard and fast, Eren begging him not to stop as he came between them again, biting hard on Levi's shoulder as he did. Lapping at the wound mark, Eren was putty in his hands as he cleaned him down, still knotted firmly as they finished showering. Carrying him out to the bedroom, Levi pulled Eren down atop him, covering him with the blanket as Eren curled into him "I'm sorry, I'm sleepy" "You don't need to be sorry. I did wreck your arse" "Mmm... you make me come too hard. Gonna have you in me all day... going to be thinking about it..." "You probably don't want to continue this chain of thought if you want to make it to court in time" "Instincts... what's my punishment" "I walked in on Moblit drilling Hanji last night" Eren groaned, half rising and dropping back against him "You had to tell me that? You couldn't have kept it to yourself? You're still in me... I'm not horny now" "I didn't like seeing it either" "Ugh... how am I supposed to look at her? How am I supposed to look at Moblit? And since when did you... did you not knock?" "No. I thought she'd be talking about Historia giving birth with Moblit, not... In the mood" "I guess... actually, I don't know what to say. I'm happy for them, but I didn't need to know my alpha watched them..." "I didn't "watch". I was traumatised" "Sure you were" Slipping his hands down, Levi groped at Eren's arse "I was. Seeing you talking with the others last night, I wanted to finally have that talk. I have no idea how I'm going to face them" "Me neither. Do you think Historia has had her eggs?" "Possibly. You passed the first few pretty quickly" Eren's scent turned sad. Levi hadn't thought things through apparently. If Eren felt like he was coming out of a heat, his omega was probably being more of a shit than he thought "I mean, I'm sure she and her clutch are fine. Ymir is probably watching over her, as they both bask in happiness" "I hope so. I'm so happy for them..." "It's ok you know, not be as ok as you're saying. This trial isn't easy, losing the clutch wasn't easy. I love you, you know" "I know... but... am I jealous? Is that why I want to protect her and her clutch, even though they're not here?" "No. It's because you care so deeply for everyone" "Is it though? My omega... it wants another baby so badly, but I'm barely coping with Viren as it is... and Luca. I want more time with them, but everything... it never ends" This wasn't a conversation for groping. Sliding his hands up, he wrapped his arms around his mate "I get it. Soon, though. Soon all this will be a bad dream" "If I wake up and find out this is all a dream, I'm going to be pissed" "Obsydin is going to find his sword smashed to pieces if this is a dream" "Mmm... can we stay like this a little longer?" "I'm not going anywhere" "But your knot's going down" "Eren. You told me your instincts are playing up. You told me your all over the place today. Now I know what to look for, I can help you through the day. That doesn't involve ravishing you and leaving" "I'm sorry" "Shhh. Relax... let your instincts calm. You're safe here with me" Mumbling something Levi missed half of it, only catching the end "if only that could be the case forever". A soft plea, not meant to be heard, but that didn't stop Levi from mentally promising his lover that it would be so. * With Eren's instincts being a mess, the omega accepted Levi's touches in the courtroom. Holding him close, Eren's head rested on his shoulder in a position that couldn't have been good for his neck. After the hit Marley had taken the previous day, there were less soldiers in the Marley side of the room, as Magath glared openly at everyone. Overnight someone had delivered new clothes to Dina, the woman now groomed and dressed in fine silks as she sat chained to the chair she was in. Levi didn't like it. Dina shouldn't be allowed such luxuries given her crimes. The first hour or so of the trial that morning was spent explaining that Historia had gone into labour, and wasn't able to attend as she'd returned to Draecia the previous night. Marley was fast to accuse Historia of running from her crimes, yet given the tribunal knew that she may go into labour, all of served to do was make them look petty. It wasn't like she'd magically fallen pregnant just to escape the shitstorm that this trial was proving to be, especially not after she'd stood tall and testified. Even Dina stated that these things couldn't be helped, and when it was time, it was time. Though that may have been to make herself look better. Moving on from the subject of Historia, it turned back to Vermil's sword. Testing having been completed overnight by one of the tribunal members. Rising to her feet, she neglected to make her name known as her long black curls tumbled down her shoulders "She's gorgeous..." Mumbling by Levi's ear, Levi momentarily tensed at the unexpected comment "... her skin looks so silky, and her dress... I wonder if she's a queen somewhere. I get the feeling she's a kind and fair ruler. Do you think she'd be open to trading with Eldia" Dressed in a blood red and gold dress, it hugged every inch of her dark skin. Levi forced to do a double take as he paid closer attention to her. Being seated at the tribunal table, she'd mostly been hidden. Now they viewing her in full regal elegance "She looks the part... she really does" Whining softly, Eren nuzzled into him "Don't go complimenting other people in front of me" "Why not? You just did?" "I know. I didn't expect you to agree so fast" "I'm a simple man..." "You're going to be elbowed if you keep going. She's staring at both of you" Scolded by Mikasa, the pair found that they were indeed being stared at. Despite the height differences, Eren still tried to half hide behind him, as the woman smiled at them. Maybe she was part dragon? Or something similar? Oh well, it wasn't as if they'd insulted her. Eren had jumped right to wanting to be friends with her, not that he expected anything else from him. She was also the first judge he'd been positive towards. Confirming the link between the scales and the sword, she stated she felt that the dragon magic within the scale had been bolstered with use of other scales, over years of use on multiple dragons. With her permission, the sword was going to be returned to Eren's possession, as per Zeke's last will and testimony, and as per the alpha's desire for the sword to be reunited with its partner. Progressing further, it was Willy who was called to testify. Standing on the Marley side, the alpha ran a hand through his hair with his trademark smile on his lips. Beside him, Eren stood a little straighter "I don't know if I want to hear this" "Eren?" "I know we can't trust him, but... I'm so sick of lies. He's going to lie. He's going to tell the court what he thinks they want to hear" "They'll know that" "But how am I supposed to abdicate the throne, when my liaison with Marley is nothing but a liar. Those papers, his papers, how do I know my wishes are going to be accepted? How do I do business with him, when I can't trust his words" "The same way Erwin and I did. The same way you have been. With a smile on your face, fake pleasantries and the knowledge that you're not lying" "That means nothing when you ooze character like Willy does. His family has connections world wide. I'm not like him" "No. You're not like him. He's a master manipulator, where you would rather bare the truth to all" "That's not true..." "Will you two be quiet already? Or do I have to seperate the pair of you?" Mikasa may have a point about being quiet, but she earned herself a growl over her joke of separating them. Eren's scent shifted the moment the words had left her lips, the space filling with the smell of pelting rain and burning forest, disturbing Viren's sleeping against his mother's breast. Hushing and bouncing their son, Willy shot them a confused look. It wasn't their fault that Eren had accidentally woken Viren. Eren was a bundle of nerves as it was, praying for the day to pass without major incident like they all were. Scowling coldly back at him, Levi pulled Eren back firmly against him, making a show of standing by Eren's side no matter what came from Willy's mouth. Confirming his name, Willy smiled broadly as his family ties were explored, agreeing that his family was indeed connected world wide and well travelled. Around him, the Marley soldiers all seemed to move away, leaving Willy to stand with no close support, unless that was all part of his plan. Asking Eren of the relationship between him and Willy, Willy confirmed that he was acting as Eren's point of contact for Marley. From there, Willy launched into a speech of his own, the tribunal not happy over it, yet letting him speak as it was related to the case. He'd approached Eren after Dina was arrested, as he'd been a close confidant of Zeke's, and Zeke had held grave fears over Eren's safety and that of what he believed to be his child. He'd also been appointed as Marley's temporary leader, a position he legally couldn't take with Eren still being alive. When he'd first met Eren, he'd been shocked that Eren didn't know he was legally a prince, recognised through Marley law as its legal ruler. Since then, his own concern had been for Eren taking up rule in Marley, advising him to draw up his legal papers to abdicate the throne, yet to wait until the trial had been presided over and a verdict delivered. Marley was in a bad way, and needed a stable monarch to help them find their feet again. He'd hoped Eren would take up the mantle, having legal claim to it and being an omega of "superior stature". As Willy talked, Levi's frown grew. His eyes narrowed and his scent sharpened. It was all to perfect. Is all sounded as if Willy was reading from a script, both staring in and directing a play so to speak. The courtroom his rapt audience. With careful words, he spoke of his closeness with Zeke. How Zeke had felt he was the only one he could turn to, to protect Eren from his mother. It struck Levi that that wasn't strictly the case. Eren had said Yelena was the one closest to Zeke, that the alpha had trusted her right up to the moment she'd run him through with her sword. Once he'd established that lie, every other word coming from his mouth only strengthens his suspicions. Dismissed early so the tribunal could discuss what Willy had presented, Eren had chewed his lip bloody on the walk back to the hotel. Allowing Armin entrance into their room, the Eldia party opened the door to find that Eren and Levi's room had been completely trashed. Even the bed had been torn to shreds by what Levi guessed was a sword. Handing Viren to Armin, Eren ignored his own safety as he rushed from Levi's side, to where their trunk contents had been strewn everywhere. It only took Eren a moment before he fell back on his arse, his hands going to the back of his head as he drew his knees up "They're gone. All my papers are gone. The spare copies are gone..." Off loading Luca to Mikasa, Mikasa was in the middle of altering the guard of what had happened as she accepted the dragon in surprise, Levi already by Eren's side by the time the female alpha comprehended what happened. Squatting down next to Eren, Levi rifled through the broken trunk to find the false bottom had been smashed through and that every single one of Eren's carefully penned papers were gone "Fuck... I'm going to fucking kill him" Looking up to Levi, Eren blinked "Who? Do you know who this was? They've used something in the air and I can't smell them" "Who the fuck do you think it was? It could only have been Willy. He saw how many documents you had. He spoke about them in court today. He was the only one who could have... orchestrated this" "Willy... are you sure?" Levi's anger manifested as he snapped at his mate "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't tell me you believed his lies, Eren. You fucking heard him. He stated that he took a copy of your papers from you. A copy. He probably had Marley going through all our rooms while we were at the courthouse!" "But..." "Really? You're going to stand up for him? There are too many inconsistencies in his story. He said he'd accepted the position as temporary ruling power, but couldn't take the throne because you are alive. He said that, Eren. We let him get too close, even though we suspected him, and look what happened! I know you had sensitive information in those papers, and now Marley has a copy of them!" With a miserable whimper, Eren pushed himself off the floor. Fleeing to the bed, he sank down on the edge "This is all my fucking fault" Shit... fuck... he'd forgotten Eren was on edge and basically a slave to his omega at the moment "Eren..." "No! This is all my fucking fault! I copied everything down! I insisted there were copies! I didn't trust him, and I let him close! All because I wanted to pass the crown off as soon as I could!" "Eren..." "This is karma! I caused all of this! I wasn't a good mate to Zeke. I wasn't a good mate to you. I couldn't leave Marley on my own, and just turn the crown down! I had to run off sprouting garbage about peace and freeing our people! Why the fuck am I not on trial?! I'm a murderer! I killed people and people were killed because I exist! Now I'm acting like this, because the man who was ostracised from Marley finally..." Waving his hand, Eren shook his head. Carrying Luca over to him, Mikasa had a fierce glare on her face as she sat beside her brother "Eren, we don't know it was him. He was at the courthouse with us all day. This is clearly an act of desperation on Marley's behalf" "How could it be? We're only three days in! Three! All we've been doing is giving statements. None of the information coming through has been vetted and processed. That could take weeks. Weeks, Mikasa. With Willy's testimony, it doesn't make things better. He made Zeke sound paranoid. He made him sound as if he was jumping at shadows while we still lived in Marley. That's wasn't... when we were alone, it wasn't like that. He believed himself safe there, and believed that the army backed him. Magath makes it sound like the army acted before consulting Dina, forcing her to sign off on the mess they created after the fact. What we need is Porco, Pieck, or Yelena to testify what really happened, but I killed two out of those three. He also made it sound like Zeke wasn't a man-whore. He spent the days after we were wed fucking other people. For all his talk, he never knocked anyone up to his knowledge. I feel like there's more to all of this, but I'm too fucking stupid to see it all" Placing Luca in Eren's lap, Mikasa went to place her now free left hand on Eren's shoulder. Eren immediately whimpering away from the touch "I'm sorry. I can't... not right now" "I'm not going to hurt you" "I didn't say you were" Clearing her throat, Freya drew the attention to herself "Mikasa, please do not take it personally. The lingering pheromones of Historia's labour have left Eren in a somewhat heightened state. It's called out for the dragons around her to protect her and her young. Both Steege and I are also affected. However, we've been exposed to these pheromones before, so are used to them. For Eren, it is most probably a new experience. I didn't think to notify him, as Historia's labour had barely started when Ymir left with her. I simply placed your need for Levi by your side down to your omega dynamic. For that, I am sorry. You're also right about the scent in the room. I would say something along the lines of a pepper was used, hence the irritation to the nose. You won't be able to rest here comfortably. Steege and I can change rooms with you" All eyes were on Eren. Levi anxious for his mate to accept the swap. Twice someone had been in their room, and now this had happened "No..." "Eren, you can't be serious" Armin summed up everyone's thoughts on the matter "I... if Willy's playing a game, we need to come together. If he's lying to us and toying us along, than what's to say he hadn't already considered Levi and I changing room, and set some kind of trap?" "And what's to say he doesn't know that you staying here is exactly what you would do? Zeke told him about you. About how you don't back down, Willy said that in court today. I think whatever he planned, he would have planned to take place in this room" Eren gaped at Armin for a moment, before nodding "I suppose so... I mean, you have a point" "Then we need to change rooms. Since Armin and I aren't affected by pheromones like you are, we'll move to Historia and Ymir's room. Eren and Levi can use ours. It's not as big, but it'll have to do. I'll station Connie and Sasha in this room, where they were supposed to have been. Sasha wanted to have lunch down in the dining room, and Connie has yet to discover how to say no to them. Jean swears he heard nothing at all, despite their room being so close. I also think it would be a good idea if we all took stock of our personal items to ensure nothing is missing. Freya, how hard is it to manipulate those letters?" Again, Levi found the words taken out his mouth and vocalised by Mikasa "That depends on how Eren signed them?" "With ground scale in the ink, and a wax seal. Each stack was bound with ribbon" "Scale in the ink... I can't say I've seen that approach before. It would hold, far better than a normal letter. You didn't think to place a spell on the seal, did you?" "No. Even if I had, my magic isn't at it's full strength" "Right. Of course. It perplexing as to why that is, but that's an issue we can address once the trial has passed. Mikasa is correct. For now we focus on changing rooms. Once that's done, I'll use my magic to clean this room up" Eren sucked down an overly loud and shaky breath "Thank you. You're right... I don't feel safe in here" Eren paced their new room back and forth, Viren cradled against his shoulder as the omega walked off his frustrations. With Luca sitting in his lap, Luca was watching his mother carefully, so carefully that pats hadn't distracted him. At least Obsydin's sword hadn't been taken, while Levi could understand how upset Eren was over his papers, if that sword had fallen into Marley's hands things could be so much worse. The alpha had forgotten to retrieve the sword thanks to Eren's "happy" mood, then they'd been running far too late to do much of anything after an unintended round three. Chirping at Eren, Luca was done with his mother's pacing "I know. I know... I can't stop" Levi had asked him to sit, only for Eren to ignore him. Luca on the other hand... "Eren, you're upsetting him. You're upsetting yourself. You need to sit down and take a breath" "How can I? Marley knows absolutely everything. Levi, my copy of the court papers are gone. They know how awfully I described the outer regions of Marley are. They know... all my thoughts. All my feelings. They were in those documents" "Freya..." "Freya has a copy. The copy you gave her, but... they weren't supposed to know" They couldn't have been that bad. They may have induced tears and anxiety in Eren, but Levi couldn't see them being as bad as Eren seemed to think they were "Eren..." "Levi, I wrote everything... everything that happened. Zeke's cruelty to begin with. His repeated liaisons before my pregnancy was confirmed. How they treated me at parties because I am omega. How they feed omegas barely enough to survive. How I was put in a dress and made to play a woman... everything that is wrong with Marley, I put in there. Now Marley knows what I think. They... if they think Armin thinks like this, they could force another war..." Oh... so that was what Eren was worried about. This all devolving into war "Marley already dislikes us, but they can't go to war with us. Not when they're trying so hard to find a way to get her off these charges. If they do try to go to war, I'm certain the tribunal will step in" "I hope so... the woman today seemed more down to earth than the rest of them" "I noticed that. You seem to like her" "She just gives me the feeling that she's trying to remain objective in all of this. And she's really pretty" "I don't think I've heard you talk about someone like that before" "Historia's really pretty" Levi rolled his eyes at the pout in Eren's voice. Tapping Luca's butt to their son jumped off "Come sit here" Breaking his pacing Eren plonked himself down in Levi's lap "Now. We're not going to talk about pretty people. We're not going to talk about this war. We're not going to talk about Marley anymore. We're going to sit here like this and you're going to calm down. We can't be sure of anything until this trial ends" "But it doesn't look good for Marley, and it doesn't look good for us..." "Maybe whoever took them was looking for something in particular?" Huffing, Eren rested his chin against the top of Levi's head "I thought you said we weren't talking about it" "I did. You're right. At least not until Mikasa comes back to report what's going on" "I don't know if I want her to. I don't think I want to know what's going on..." Probably because Eren smelt terrified, even with the change of room, and the overlaying hues of anger and despair "What can I do then?" "Nothing. Scent me? I don't know. Instincts..." It was the worst day for this to be happening. Eren couldn't help the confusion or being overwhelmed by his emotions today "I know, sweet boy. Just sit up a bit for me? Your chin's digging in" Nothing was missing from the other rooms, besides a sheet from his and Eren's room. Mikasa's working theory was that someone had paid the cleaner for the floor and had them set the room in such a way after smuggling the papers out in a dirty sheet. The cleaner had already left for the day, and the hotel wasn't prepared to give out her details. Not that they knew their way around the city well enough to seek her out. It was entirely possible that Marley had paid her enough that she wouldn't be returning to her old job. Levi was furious that the cleaner had been allowed on their floor again, though the others didn't hold the same anger as they didn't have an omega with anxieties to think of. Despite the fact they should all know well enough that Eren had more than enough on his plate as the only omega in their group. Stationing Sasha and Connie outside their door, it was a long night for all of them as they waited for some kind of fall out, only for the night to pass with nothing happening.

[calliecat93]

RWBY V6 CH4 Review: So That’s How It Is

Already we're entering Chapter 4, and it's been one Hell of a ride so far. Even Volume 3 waited until the halfway mark to start dealing out the emotional blows. This one? It started in Chapter 2 and doesn't show any signs of holding back. At last the answers regarding Ozpin, who he is, and of his conflict with Salem have been answered. Now the question is, how will our heroes react to it? Well... only one way to find out, I supposed.

Overview

The reaction is... bad. Its... its bad. With the revelation that Salem can't be destroyed, Team RWBY is furious, Yang’s outright yelling at a tearful Ozpin for hiding this. Ruby, while clearly unhappy, keeps her composure as she asks Ozpin exactly what his plan is to defeat Salem. Ozpin, clearly broken down from both his secrets being out and having to relieve his most painful memories, finally admits that he has no plan. This is the straw that breaks the camels back for, of all people, Qrow. He outright punches Ozpin in the face. He does it so hard that he sends him flying into a nearby tree. Yeah, way to forget that it's Oscar's body buddy. Qrow starts to lament on how no one wanted him due to his bad luck, and through Ozpin it felt like he finally had a purpose and could do good. Ozpin trying to tell him that he is doing good falls on deaf ears as Qrow says that meeting him was clearly the worst luck of his like. This shocks, and even seems to hurt Ozpin, and all that he can do is say that he may be right.

In that moment, Ozpin switches back to Oscar, left to feel the sting of the hit. He confirms that Ozpin is gone and when Yang furiously tells him to tell the bastard (IDK why people make her saying that a big deal when she cursed last volume to) that they aren't done, Oscar clarifies that Ozpin has locked himself away in the depths of his mind... they're mind... yeah all of this is causing the poor kid to break down and have an existential crisis. The girls are mad that Ozpin left, wondering what to do when finally, Maria rejoins the story by yelling at them to stop. She points out that it'll be dark soon as she helps Oscar to his feet, so it's best that they follow a nearby trail and get a move on. Yang starts to turn her anger on her because how dare an old woman point out that they're spewing negativity and becoming Grimm magnets, but Maria puts her foot down and refuses to freeze to death. She even says that she understands that they're upset, but right now they aren't making it any better.

So everyone gathers whatever supplies that they can as they start to finally move. Ruby, now having the Relic, goes to give Oscar back the cane. Oscar starts to wonder if all he's going to be is another one of Ozpin's many lives. Ruby starts to assure him that no, he is his own person... only for Qrow to tell her to quit lying as they are better than that. I have... a LOOOT of not nice things to say about this moment, but I’ll save it for when we get to the review section. Oscar just starts walking, Ruby clearly uneasy at all of this before also walking. Well that was soul crushing!

Lets give the heroes a break for a bit and talk about the villains. Hazel, Emerald, and Mercury return to Salem's domain, Emerald clearly still in shock from the entire thing. They are greeted by Tyrian, who I guess was just sleeping all of last volume or something. He starts to mock the fact that it appears that Cinder is dead, provoking Emerald to draw her weapons on him. It reminds me a LOT of that moment in Bleach when Gin Ichimaru decided to go to Rukia and offer to help her avoid execution before revealing that he's joking just to watch her break down because he reignited her hopes. Tyrian's just as creepy, as displayed when he is unfazed by the threat, even cutting himself on Emerald's blade just to show how unfazed he truly is. To my shock, Mercury actually steps in and tells Tyrian to back off. Yes, Mercury. I still hate him for Volume 3, but you know what? Mercury you won a point! Good job dude! Tyrian goes on to say that hes also upset, because they have failed their goddess. He starts to laugh manically as the three just walk away, Emerald clearly unnerved. You know what Tyrian Go back to sleep. No one missed you!

A bit later, the trio is standing before a clearly unhappy Salem. At first her demeanor is clam as she asks Hazel how the mission failed before rephrasing the question into asking who it is that's responsible for the failure. Hazel accepts the blame... which may be the noble thing, but it turns out to be the wrong answer. Salem rises, outright throwing the table aside as she points out that they all know who is to blame. She then summons up some of those Grimm tentacle arms that we saw in the opening, which proceed to hold Hazel own and I assume may be suffocating him. Well if I wasn't afraid of Salem before, this chapter fixed that! Thanks a lot CRWBY!

Salem turns to Emerald for an answer and terrified out of her mind, the third admits that it was Cinder who caused the failure. This is what Salem was working for as she tells Emerald to come to understand the failure... and that it is why Cinder must be isolated until she redeems himself. Emerald and Mercury are shocked to hear that Cinder is alive with even Watts questioning how Salem would know that. But he takes it back when Tyrian points out that he's questioning their 'savior', aka the scary Grimm lay whose still potentially suffocating Hazel. Salem tells them of how they shouldn't put their desires above her own,a after all only she can lead them to those desires. Damn, and I thought her God complex in the backstory was bad...

Finally Salem frees Hazel, saying that they have to press on. She starts to make plans to get the Relic of Destruction from Vacuo... until Hazel says that he has more to report. He reveals that the heroes are on their way to Atlas with the Relic... and are being led by Ozpin. Well good thing that none of them know about the current discourse, haha. The fact that Ozpin is already back understandably concerns everyone... when the windows suddenly start to crack. We see Salem resonating dark energy as she coldly, but firmly tells everyone to leave. They all comply, Hazel even pulling away poor Emerald, as she just looks on in shock before the doors close. Salem seems to calm down at first...before letting out an angry shout, the windows shattering to pieces. Sure hope that she has an interior decorator on hand.

Back with the good guys, they're all still clearly upset and tense from everything. At this point, they just want to get the Relic mission over with. The snow is continuing to fall with no sign of stopping however when Ruby hears something. The group stumbles upon what seems to be an abandoned farm called Burkshire Farms. Since the snow isn't going to let up, they decide to take shelter there and get some rest. And the chapter ends with our heroes passing through the gate, the only background sound being that of the cold, blowing winds.

Review

Damn, for a thirteen minute episode, this episode caused a LOOOT of discourse. Not bad discourse mind you, I haven't seen anyone call this a bad episode. And it isn't. This was a very good, well-written episode showcasing our heroes emotions as all that they learned settle in. There re of course a lot of things that need to be talked about, and we're going to get there. But lets go ahead and get the villains out of the way before we dive into the deep stuff.

Now that we have the backstory, this entire moment felt a lot more unnerving than any of the villains previous scenes. First, Tyrian is just as creepy as he was in Volume 4. His blind praising of Salem comes off as even more disturbing now that we know that she HAS presented herself as a God so long ago. He's pretty much a devout cult fanatic willing to do anything for the one that he worships and is so clearly sick and twisted in how he mocks Emerald. Yeah I hate Cinder and I think that Emerald would be better without her in her life, but MAN mocking the poor girl about Cinder's apparent demise like that was just... wrong. Oh God was it wrong.  But still, kudos to Mercury finally showing some decency and standing up for Emerald. Nice to see that he DOES have a soul... to a degree, but hey he's better than Tyrian.

I am also just loving Hazel more and more. He may be on the bad guys side, but he's clearly the most noble of the bunch. He was willing to take the full blame for the failures, even though Cinder 100% deserves to be blamed, and actively seemed to be looking out for Emerald as well. It shows that the villains aren't just the 'mwahaha lets do bad things cause BAD!' kinds of villains. I like those kinds of villains when done right, like The Joker and (if it pans out well in S17) Genkins in the current Red vs Blue storyline. Hell, Felix (who Miles also created) can probably count from that show also. But its also good to see when the bad guys have depth and deeper emotions to them. It makes them all the more compelling as characters. Right now Hazel, who displays many noble traits, and Emerald, a terrified girl stuck in a very bad position, are probably the most compelling and I am greatly looking forward to what the story has in store for them.

And of course there's Salem. Now that we've seen how she fell down the wrong path, it makes her all the more terrifying here. While you feel sympathy for her throughout last chapter's flashback, here? You have no idea what she's going to do, and it's unnerving. Up until last week, Salem was an intimidating but very calm figure. Her demeanor never broke, at worst she raised her voice like... once. Even when Leo told her about the plan's failure,s he looked almost bored at the news as she silently had her Grimm kill him. But now? She goes form still calm to throwing tables, nearly suffocating Hazel,a and using blatant emotional manipulation on Emerald to put all of hr minions in line. I'll give her this, she did look legit sad about having to leave Cinder behind and she is giving her a chance to redeem herself, but still. When she finally snaps, I was in the same state as Emerald: shocked and fearful. With Ozpin now back, chances are Salem is going to double down on her efforts, and the results are not going to be pretty.

Alright, with that out of the way, lets get to the heroes side of things. Now there isn't a lot to say about the ending. That's clearly setting up for next week and is just them entering an abandoned farm. So while I've got worries, especially since that one tunnel looked a LOT like the one Ruby was in during the opening, we're just going to see what happens next week. But with how this volume has been so far, be very afraid. For now though, lets talk about the aftermath of Ozpin's secrets being revealed, and the fallout that came with it.

There has been a LOT of debate about the characters actions these past three chapters. Was it right to use the Relic to find out Ozpin's secrets? I'm gonna say no, especially for what we found out, but as I said before after all this time they had the right to know. But clearly none of them were prepared for it. Now the better thing to have done was seek shelter first, clam down, talk about it, and if Ozpin kept refusing then at worst they could get the Relic when he wasn't in control or something and asked the question. But considering the circumstances, there was no way that they were going to do the sensible thing. So yeah, they just found out Ozpin's dark backstory and find out that Salem can't be defeated.

So here's the first thing that I want to address. While the way that everyone reacts was NOT the way to go about it, the emotions that they feel? Those are 100% justified. Look, I feel horrible for Ozpin and again, they could have handled how they reacted to it a LOT better. But they also just found out that it looks like Salem can't be defeated. Ozpin has no plan. He is leading them on a suicide mission. One where yeah, they can fight back and thwart Salem's plans over and over, but it will in the end mean nothing. Now I do think that Ozpin is ultimately doing the best that he can in his current situation, after all it's better to fight back than just throw your hands up and wait for death to come. But if you were in a war where in the end, the bad guy couldn't be defeated and you had to fight endlessly, knowing that you will die in vain, how would you feel? I think I'd just outright break down if I were put int hat position. Of course they're going to be angry about it. They just got all of this dumped onto them (and yeah it is kind of their own fault for not considering that, but still), we can't expect them to just be okay with it. They're reacting to their immediate emotions an hopefully, now that they have a chance to breathe, they can look at everything and calm down.

Ozpin is also justified in his reaction. Yeah locking himself away and indirectly meaning that Oscar has to feel the brunt of the aggression was shitty, but you can understand hwy. He new that if anyone knew the truth he'd get the blame and everyone would be angry at him. As hurt as he seemed by Qrow's reaction, eh didn't seem shocked about it either. Heck, eh didn't seem to blame any of them for how they reacted, even saying that maybe they were right. He's holding onto so much guilt and as he feared, with the truth out no one trusts him and blame him for it. There a LOT of morality questions about if Ozpin hiding all that he did was right or not. I think at the very least, those working for him need to know and if he' was honest about it, they'd have probably been uncertain and scared, but they may have still sided with him in hopes of one day finding a solution. Ozpin painted himself as a liar and untrustworthy and no matter how understandable it is, it was in the end the wrong thing to do. But again, it's really hard to blame him since that knowledge would likely cause panic and get them all killed sooner. He was screwed no matter what he did.

In the end, my opinion is that both sides are right and wrong. QRWBY are right to be angry and upset with all the revelations, but getting angry and outright punching poor Oscar was going too far. Ozpin's shouldn't have lied and lead people on regardless of the reasons, but he's also a clearly damaged person who has been trying to make things right despite all the hopelessness surrounding his situation. All of the reactions have been very human and emotional. This is probably why it's a good thing that we have a character like Maria in all of this. She is someone who seems wise and is uninvolved in the conflict. She can look at both sides without bias and understand why everyone feels how they feel, but can also bring attention to what their emotions are blinding them to. Seriously, with her helping Oscar, taking none of Yang's shit, and getting them all to actually focus on not dying, Maria has become an instant favorite. I love her!

So now lets talk about the part that I did not like. That is Qrow's jab at Oscar. Now the punch was harsh, put he clearly meant it for Ozpin so I can look at it as him reacting in blind anger. I still want him to apologize to Oscar later, but I can understand and forgive that. What I CANNOT forgive is how he treats Oscar like he is nothing but Ozpin's vessel. Umm... asshole, no eh isn't. Ruby was NOT lying to him when she assured him that he isn't just one of Oz's lives. Oscar is a young kid thrust into a very difficult, scary situation but he chose to do the right thing. He decided to train to defend himself and to help in whatever way that he can. He has a ton of baggage piled up on top of him, and so far he is handling better than many would if in his shoes. He is kind, heroic, and has a good heart. He is NOT just another of Ozpin's lives. He is Oscar Pine. He is his own person. And you have the gull to essentially put this kid down, while he's in the middle of a breakdown over his identity, because of how hurt yourself feel.

No

That is NOT okay.

It's not wrong toward just Oscar, but even towards Ruby. This girl is handling all of this incredibly well. She never shouts and when Oscar switched back, she was immediately concerned about him and unnerved by her team's reactions. And after all of it, because of how kind of a person she is, she tries to assure this clearly troubled kid that he is not just one of Ozpin's lives. He is his own person. And you berate her for lying. You told Ruby, your own niece, that she is a liar because she tried to comfort someone and assure them that they are more than what they think that they are. Look, I know that Qrow is upset and hurt. I do feel bad for him. But that jab was just... unnecessarily cruel towards both Oscar and Ruby. I am really hoping that Qrow will realize this later and apologize for that because Oscar has done NOTHING wrong. Hell, he's the one who told them about the Relic, so clearly he's on their side. I probably feel worst for Oscar than anyone else and I really hope that the volume cuts him a break soon. But yeah, that just... really made me uncomfortable.

So... what happens now? I think that everyone will either start to calm down or it just lingers before someone finally snaps. Regardless, clearly something is going to happen in this abandoned farm. Going off past episode, abandoned anywhere in this show is bad. Lets just hope that for our heroes sakes, they can work through this.

Final Thoughts

This was the perfect followup. The characters emotions are perfectly displayed, Salem is more horrifying than ever, and I just felt tense and on edge throughout. We all were expecting the fallout to be bad, but boy IDT we were expecting this. It's been one Hell of a ride so far, and we're not even halfway done yet. Lets hope that it doesn't run out of steam before then. As far as this chapter goes though, it was an emotional punch to what is already an emotional situation, and I'm probably going to be recovering from it until next week. Good work CRWBY!

[sparda3g]

One Piece Chapter 908 Review

The time for Reverie is finally here. This arc has been nothing but exciting and it’s done without any action. It goes without saying: this series’ lore is rich. It is filled with emotions and mysteries. This chapter has made me feeling pleasant, furious (intentional), and awed by the end that had me unnerving with many questions that need answers.

I wasn’t aware that Manshelly is with everyone, but she is a princess, so that’s given I suppose. It’s quite charming that practically all princesses are in one setting, helping each other in need. They already formed a delightful friendship, as if they know each other already. Wreck-It Ralph 2, you have been outclassed in princess crossover.

I’m so glad that there’s an actual good Celestial Dragon out there and his name is Mjosgard. It’s almost too surreal to be honest. It’s good that Neptune no longer thinks unkindly of human. The balance has been restored. It’s kind of Mjosgard to place a protection on Shirahoshi, so no one can take her for their selfish need. It’s worth noting that he can order anyone, so it makes me curious what Oda has in mind with that use.

I know everyone comes from somewhere, but I can’t fathom to see Charlos’ father, Saint Rosward, being around. It’s like meet the asshole of an asshole. Before he enters “the land of the gods,” there is an old lady named Conney, Queen Mother of Solbay Kingdom, who seems to be typical as elder goes. However, she sneaks in through the gate while Rosward is bickering nonsense. I didn’t get why she look so angry. That is until the next panel.

I was blood-boiling hot when I saw Kuma being used and abused by those fu—creatures. He is deemed as an invisible slave, because if he’s not good for fighting anymore, why not slavery. Odd that I didn’t think Conney is actually Bonney. Her ability is really helpful. It does beg the question, is she Conney for the World Government, and Bonney is her true self as a pirate? Like is there a real Conney or she is her? Whatever it is, it’s nice to see her again. She really is a prominent character; very curious her reason to be there.

Sabo and other commanders, excluding Betty, are in the underground, preparing to declare war. He is livid to see Kuma in that condition; basically, channeling me and perhaps everyone. Each commander is reasoning with him as well as delivering a final warning that they cannot afford to mess up. Sabo is all in for this grand movement. I am so ready for them to bring hell to the table.

There’s a brief history lesson about the World Government. It’s building up the moment before the grand stage and it works. I was getting hype the more it explores its lore. It was at this point you know that time is here. The narrative and the pacing flow evaluates the anticipation. Everyone is gathering and taking their seat. So many characters to count, familiar or new faces. Throw in a small hype boost for Wano Country, because that time is coming soon. Also throw in a few gossip about Kaido and Luffy. Then finally, at long last, it’s time for the grand conference:

Reverie!!!

I never thought I would be incredibly hype for a discussion board, but here we are. If Oda can make people cry over a ship, he can do anything with his fans at the palm of his hand. There is one missing piece that haven’t been addressed throughout the chapter. Whatever happened to the whole Shanks and the Five Elders having a talk? I am reminded when we see the Five Elders heading towards to somewhere, but Shanks wasn’t there. It’s interesting to note that Nefeltari, Vivi’s bloodline, was once chosen to be part of the higher-ups, but turned it down. I wonder how that will play later on. Oda is cruel to leave his fans very curious. But it gets worse with the way how the chapter ends.

That shadowy figure from two chapters, the one that was at some chamber with a giant straw hat. He reappears here; however, the real shocker is he’s actually a prominent character to the World Government. I believe he’s called Im. You know he’s terrifying when he’s playing at a garden with butterflies. I’m being serious here. Don’t you know playing at a garden deems you as a God in anime/manga? I didn’t know his status until the end that got me thinking a whole lot of stuff.

The Empty Throne was mentioned previously and how significant it is to the world. It’s expected for the Five Elders to be there, but what really happened is very stunning. Im isn’t part of the World Government; he is it. Well, figuratively speaking, but he’s the king. What’s mind-blowing is he is sitting on the chair like the king of everything. Balance? What’s that?

You may be thinking, “Aren’t you exaggerating about it?” Maybe so, but the lore and its exploitation has been phenomenal, so this took me by surprise. The build-up to Im’s arrival to the throne was bone-chilling. We just got back from the explanation that no one has sat on the Empty Throne. It’s a complete lie and those Elders are hiding it. This whole imagery speaks so much volume on how unfair the world is; as if we have seen enough proof.

Exactly what is the story with him and the straw hat? Could he be the one that killed the original user? Is he even powerful? If so, the discussion of who will be the final boss could end now. I thought it was a brilliant idea to incorporate many traits to make the setting all the more mysterious and horrifying, such as the eerie atmosphere of his whereabouts (which we will get to very soon), and the shadowy figure that has an odd shape, especially the crown if that is one. It added more with how the paneling leave intimidation.

What got me shivering and aching is Im and the posters of various characters. Luffy, Blackbeard, and Shirahoshi’s posters were stabbed, and knowing that he’s king, that is pure bad news. I can understand Luffy and Blackbeard, but Shirahoshi? Well, she is a weapon, but that means he knows and is willing to kill her. Damn, all those precious moments earlier are now hitting me with fear. Damn you, Oda.

My main fear however is he didn’t stab Vivi’s poster, rather taking it with him for something. He hasn’t even show himself and yet, I’m here shivering for the worst outcome. Actually, how do I even know his gender? I don’t know what it means, but it’s a really bad timing, especially that King Cobra was discussing earlier with Fujitora and Riku. This Im person scares me. I can only hope it pulls a- Oh wait, it’s coming back. Avoid spoilers for anime fans. Ahem. Anyway, the series is on a break next week. Oda…never mind.

This was a critically hype chapter. The foundation of its world building is incredible that everything that happened here can leave you feeling tensed. Whether it’s because what happened to Kuma and the distasteful use from those bastards or the king or the higher-up of them all is present to give an order, there’s something to get you invested. The highly anticipated time is here. We have two weeks. It’s going to be a bombastic event.

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 1X18 - The Stable Boy

I’m very interested to see my reaction to this episode this time! On my first watch, I didn’t like it (At least the past portion), but with time and more insight into Regina’s character, that just might change!

It’s not because of you, Reggie! i love you!

But what was my deal then, and how has it changed?

Find out alongside me under the cut!

Press Release Emma continues her exhaustive search for evidence that will prove Mary Margaret’s innocence in the murder of David’s wife, Kathryn. Meanwhile, in the fairytale land that was and before evil blackened her soul, Regina must choose between betraying her mother, Cora, and marrying for true love, or betrothing royalty and living a regal - but loveless - life; and the event that caused the Evil Queen to loathe Snow White is revealed. General Thoughts Past It’s weird. I know Cora is an amazing villain, and it may be the fault of time, but I sometimes forget just how menacing and evil she was. So seeing the evil she’s capable of show itself again with such intensity was like when you touch someone else after getting a good dose of static shock going through you. Just as with Regina’s villainy up to this point, Cora’s is overt and strong. Even when she’s praising Regina, it’s a backhanded compliment (“You’ve finally done something right”). But oddly enough, it’s when the abuse is less over the top that it’s at its worst, and by that, I mean accepting Leopold’s proposal on Regina’s behalf and getting Snow to divulge Regina’s secret. How Cora’s lunges at insecurities and just makes the bold yet quiet moves to get everyone to do what she wants is terrifying. I don’t have a lot to weigh in on the plot, but I do think that watching it on the second go did a lot more for me to highlight Cora’s abuse and make me realize the quality of the flashback. See, for me, I always felt that Daniel was the main thing for Regina’s revenge about Snow, and I felt on the first go that that was a pretty lackluster approach for such a cool villain because I found Daniel boring (I still do, and I swear that I tried to like him). However, it’s occurred to me recently that this isn’t so much as the main point, but the final straw after a long line of Cora’s abuse. Cora’s abuse is what drives Regina’s character and with this in mind, I went into my rewatch of this episode and found it much more compelling. I mean, all you have to do is look about to see the impact Cora had on me.

Also, as I said before, I don’t like Daniel. I find his character boring and bereft of chemistry with all who he interacted with despite his decent dialogue. Given that a lot of (Not fully, but still a fair amount) Regina’s backstory is dependent on their interactions, it sucks, but I just wasn’t feeling like there was much of a character to connect to.

Finally, I wanted to take this moment to drop a theory I’ve held for a while about this episode. I feel that Regina has a secondary purpose for going after Snow. Now, of course, she blames Snow for Daniel’s death, but that’s lead her to be mislabeled as overly petty. However, I think that that blame has something behind it. Regina doesn’t have magic at this point, and her beloved was taken from her. She has a lot of anger, and no place to responsibly place it. Of course, it belongs with Cora, but Cora just killed her boyfriend and has been magically binding her for quite some time. What chance does Regina have up against someone like that? But Snow? Snow’s just a little kid. Snow’s vulnerable and trusting. Snow was the one to tell the secret. And suddenly, for as wretched as it is, you see how the cogs turn. Present I loved August’s advice to Emma here. Sometimes, I find that skill helpful when I’m writing fanfiction, and the way it fits into the murder mystery was interesting. Their rapport, alongside August’s mystery is a large driving force behind the plot as Emma looks for the way to connect the crime to Regina. They also did a really good job establishing Sidney and then exposing him with that flower pot. For a while, one can forget that it’s there, but once you see it, you know what’s going to happen. Still, the journey to using the plot device was an engaging one. As for the rest of the plot, I cover more of it in “Arcs,” but I found that it was well placed and dramatic. Mary Margaret’s conversation with the DA was especially helpful in reinforcing after last week’s “breather” episode just how bad things are and how important it is that Emma solves this case and fast. Insights -I love watching Rumple and Regina negotiate. Theirs is such an engaging push-and-pull relationship and even in the case of foregone conclusions like the one the audience goes in knowing here, the exact what and how are never what you expect it to be. Because of their power, influence, and shadier dispositions, there’s always something up their sleeves and seeing them poke and prod in search of those secrets is just the best. Also, I love that clash of tones. Regina’s harsh words clash brilliantly with Rumple’s more flowery language. -Hair and makeup really did a wonderful job on the younger Henry Sr.! -”She’s getting a little old for fun.” “Stop coddling her.” I like the implication that Cora’s abuse of Regina started out smaller than it is today and that Henry Sr. was allowed to have a bigger influence on Regina’s development during her childhood. -”I’m not criticising you. I’m helping you.” Holy shit. That is such an abuser line. If it wasn’t coming out of Cora, I’d almost call it heavy handed, but since it s Cora, it’s such a good moment of character establishment. -There’s this great frame where Henry Sr. is walking towards Cora with a face that screams “I’mma kill you if you harm a hair on our daughter!” Even though Henry Sr. was definitely afraid of and overpowered by Cora, it’s clear that he was always on Regina’s side. -The segues on this show between the past and present crack me the fuck up! -In regards to young Snow...HOW DOES THIS SHOW CAST PEOPLE SO PERFECTLY?! -Thank you, Gold for acknowledging the skeleton key! -Gold just has the best expressions during the Q&A with the DA. Every look he gives MM just says “you’re lucky your daughter is breaking this curse.” -Mary Margaret, that’s not true. After Kathryn hurt you, it was your denial of David that kept you two apart. Not saying you were wrong for that you definitely weren’t - but facts are facts. -Regina looks so cute in that blue dress! I’m pretty sure anyone on OUaT can pull off a blue dress! -I love how Henry Sr. reflects both Regina and the audience’s reaction to this horrifying proposal. -So is Daniel just the Mills’ family’s stable boy or both theirs and Snow’s family’s stable boy? -Regina unknowingly gave Snow and Charming the perfect lyrics to their big show-stopping musical number about how they’d overthrow her! XD -I love Regina’s suit in the warrant scene. Red and black - despite her rocking blue as well - are totally her colors! -That whole sequence of Cora trapping Regina and Daniel in the stable reminded me of The Haunted Mansion! -Snow looks so cute in her flower girl dress! -So, the camera doesn’t show Regina’s face as she’s telling Snow how Daniel ran away, but you can just hear the pain behind the monotone in her voice solely because of how different it is from the rest of her lines. Regina’s lines usually host such passion and ferocity, but here, she’s bereft of it. Arcs Kathryn Nolan Case - So, we sort of come to an ending here. Now all that’s left to find out is the “who-dunnit,” so to speak. Personally, I found the case itself boring as well as the conversations about the proceedings. That said, in a way, I’m glad we had it. I’ve seen fics without it happening and they leave David and Mary Margaret with so little to do. Besides, we got some really good character moments because of it, mostly those that go through Emma and I feel comfortable saying that this doesn’t have to do with the fact that Emma is my favorite character because for everyone else (Barring Rumple and Regina who also had amazing interactions), the events of this arc for everyone else become completely irrelevant going forward. Emma and her interactions (Barring those of the other awake people’s) are the only moments that retain prevalence for their characters in the future That’s not a problem: The character moments still stand out - I still adore everything with Ruby and the scene with MM and David in the jail cell was powerful - but it needs to be accounted for. The Mystery of August Booth - We finally get those first glimpses of Pinocchio. It reminded me a lot of Michael’s symptoms in Season 3 of Jane the Virgin. They’re so small that you forget about them with the plot, but as they happen, they make you wonder just what it is. Why throw in a splint? ...I guess we should say a splinter! XD Favorite Dynamic Snow and Cora. I know these two only had one scene together, but damn, it was a good one! When Cora talks to Snow, she’s so warm and very much like a grandmother in the way she speaks, and you can see through Snow’s expressions just how much that paired with what she’s saying is preying on her still present grief over her mother. It’s like that study about the bullfrogs when the water gradually increases. Snow’s about to hurt her friend, and she doesn’t even recognize that she’s being played because of Cora’s delicate manner of approaching things. Writer Adam and Eddy did a really great job here! They have a way of writing very iconic lines, and  “Love is the most powerful magic of all” has proved itself lasting - both in verbal and song form! XD In addition, A&E know how to make a villain sympathetic while not forgetting that they’re evil and following through on that. I’ve seen a lot of bad writing of villains (And some of it comes from OUaT too) where they just throw a sob story on a villain and then just flip a switch from villain to hero, but Regina still retains her villainy  even as we’re learning about her tragedies, and that makes her feel more alive! Rating 9/10. I love all of the character development we get here. The introduction of Cora gives us that taste of all that’s to come and she’s fucking petrifying, even with the knowledge that she dies! And seeing Regina’s awful childhood really sticks where this resentment of Snow and Mary Margaret is coming from and it makes it glorious! Additionally, the present had a great story too and delivered a cool sort-of ending to the Kathryn Nolan case while giving Emma and August an interesting conflict to work with. I took off a point for Daniel just because of his impact on the story that I actually got compared to what I felt that I needed.  ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Thanks to @watchingfairytales for putting this project together and to everyone who read! I’ll see you next time when we...RETURN! ...These puns don’t get all that subtle. Season Tally (157/220) Writer Tally for Season 1: A&E (50/70) Liz Tigelaar (17/20)* David Goodman (33/50) Jane Espenson (36/60) Andrew Chambliss and Ian Goldberg (29/40) Daniel Thomsen (8/10)* Vladimir Kvetko (9/10* (* = Their work for the season is complete)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[dancing-in-tig-territory]

5 Things (Jax x Reader)

So this request was passed onto me by @telford-ortiz-teller (i’m sorry, i completely forget what your writing blog url is) for @native-snowflake  for a story about the reader who has an Anxiety Disorder being coached through the ‘5 things’ grounding method by Jax. I hope you like it dolls <3 

p.s. I do actually have an anxiety disorder myself, so I wrote this drawing a lot from my personal experiences of panic attacks. HOWEVER  mental illnesses such as these are very complicated and need to be treated as such, and with sensitivity. I realise that a) everyone’s experiences with this may be different and b) I should also warn you that it may trigger some people. With that in mind, it has a happy ending. So.... here you go :D

Whenever it happened you struggled to really remember how it started. Usually it was something small that anyone else would think it absurd it could make you feel like this. It’s onset was sometimes slow, gave you time to try and stop it. But more often than not it was sudden, like a snap of the fingers. The pounding heart, the sick feeling- and before you knew it, the fear that came with the complete and total loss of control. The fog of it clouded your brain. The sobs rocked your entire body.

For anyone who has never had a panic attack, they wouldn’t understand. But in the moment, you literally feel like you’re going to die.

Not for the first time, probably not for the last either, it was happening to you. You were stood in the middle of the kitchen, although your legs were going out from under you. There was broken glass, so maybe that was the straw that broke the camels back- you dropped a glass or something. Now you were frozen, terrified. Already praying to whatever Gods were out there that it’d stop soon, that it’d end. Maybe one day forever.

This was how your old man, Jax, found you. The second he came through the door he saw the state you were in and he recognised it. He’d seen you that way a thousand times before. It’d taken some time before he’d gotten used to it, had come to understand what was actually happening to you when the anxiety hit. But when he’d gotten it, he’d read up everything he could on the subject to try and help you. While it hadn’t cured you of the problem, it’d gotten you through a lot of your lower moments. Immediately he was in front of you, gorgeous blue eyes sparkling with concern.

“Hey, baby, it’s okay, I’m here now,” He told you softly. You were mute. You just shook your head. “What happened, darlin’? Hm?” You worked your mouth silently for a few seconds. What came out wasn’t an answer, really, but it was something.

“Help me,” You choked, “Make it stop!” This was a plea. Jax reached up and brushed away some of the tears that continued to fall. It wasn’t pretty crying either- it was snotty, messy crying. But Jax had this way of never making you feel less than beautiful, even at times like this.

“Sssh, sssh, we can do this, okay?” You shook your head again, looking around uselessly. “Hey, (Y/N), focus! Look at me. Look at me!” He commanded- not meanly, but firmly. You did as you were told, though a fresh wave of tears broke out when you looked directly at him. “It’s gonna be okay, babe. You trust me?” You nodded. “You’re at home right now, with me. Tell me five things that you can see.”

“I c-can’t-” You stammered.

“You can,” Jax promised, putting his hands gently on your shoulders. “What can you see?” You felt stupid as you listlessly tried to name anything in front of you.

“You,” You began, “And…. And… the table...”

“And?” He encouraged.

“Chair… fridge...” You looked down at your feet where the broken shards of glass were. “Glass.”

“Good. See? You’re right here with me, seeing the same stuff. Now tell me four things you can feel.” Feel? Did he mean emotionally or physically? The emotional stuff was too much of a scramble, so you went with physical, feeling marginally less insane than you had when listing what you could see.

“Your h-hands on my shoulders,” You hiccupped. “My sweater… floor under me…. Breeze from the window.”

“Well done,” Jax said soothingly. You found yourself glancing around again so he squeezed your shoulders. “Name three things you can hear right now.” He took half a step closer to you. You took in a deep, shaky breath.

“Cleaning fluid,” You listed, “Your c-cologne… my perfume.” It was as if the fog was slowly lifting. You still felt out of sorts and jittery, but not so terrified. Not so out of control.

“Two things you can hear?” Jax coaxed. You could tell from his expression that he could see you were calming down now, too.

“Your voice,” You sniffled, “And… a car...” Somebody was driving down your street at that moment, the soft hum of their engine just audible. Jax nodded.

“Last one, baby. Ready?” He checked.

“Yeah,” You nodded.

“Name one good thing about yourself.” You stared.

“W-what?”

“One thing you like about yourself. Just one.” You’d always hated these sorts of questions.

“I don’t like having an anxiety disorder,” You laughed weakly, not really finding it funny at all.

“Come on,” Jax encouraged, his arms sliding down yours to take your hands instead as he leant down so his eye level was more on a par with yours. A small smile was teasing the corners of his mouth- good natured smile on a very handsome face.

“Okay,” You swallowed, “Um… my hair. I like my hair.” It was lame and you both knew it. Jax actually chuckled, but then he hugged you, kissing you on the forehead and holding you close. You hugged him back, clinging to your rock. You simply stood there, letting him basically hold you up for a little while.

“How’re you feeling?” He asked you quietly after a time, pulling away. The truth was, you felt exhausted. Panic attacks tended to have that effect. The worst ones were the adrenaline-charged ones, but the one you’d just had, with the complete absence of which way was up or down, were just as tiring in their own right. Mentally, you felt like you needed to sleep for a year now. But apart from that…

“Better,” You admitted. You didn’t know why, but somehow answering those questions had anchored you to the present, reigned your overactive mind in, grounding you there in the moment rather than going off to the crazy place where everything was fear and horror. You could tell Jax was pleased too. He hugged you again, one hand on the back of your head and the other at your back. You breathed in his smell. “Thank you,” You whispered. He heard you.

“You’ll beat this thing one day, babe. I’ll be right there with you.”

[introvertedapple07]

The Lovely Unknown: Where I’m at in this season

In life there are things you just know, and there are things unknown. At this point in my life, I’m pretty much stuck in the unknown. Everything that I have to look forward to such as having a family, having a big girl job, and finding my person, are all in the shadows at this point.

When I think about what my life will look like in a year, I can’t even imagine a singular piece of information, other than still having my cat, best friends, and family. I hope to still be in school with decent grades, with a steady job hopefully. Looking forward I get kind of scared about whether or not I’m making the right choices now, so that my future self will be proud. At the same time I know that whatever happens, is what needs to happen in order for me to be the person I’m supposed to be. Even if I’m faced with challenges I know that they are given to me in order for me to grow and learn.

My freshman year of college was great academically, but I have definitely learned form a couple of setbacks and mistakes socially. With being apart of a campus ministry and becoming so involved I made many great friends, but this also is where the patterns of my past showed their ugly colors. 

Like I said I’ve made some great friends, but due to my patterns of befriending males older than me, there was soon guys who wanted to hangout with me more, and the eventually pursued me. With that being said long story short, one of them I totally friend zoned hardcore, and the other I allowed to get closer to me. This was where I went wrong. You probably can assume how this went. He hurt my heart by not being the person he made me think he was. In the end I had to get out of the situation as fast as I could, before I was in too deep, at that point I wasn’t quite trapped.

After ending things, that was a different story. For quite a while he and I got along quite well and we could coexist during our time at the campus ministry. This changed as soon as he had time to process the whole situation. He then went to one of my good friends asking her questions instead of coming to me. The result ended with him becoming quite hostile toward me, and in result I distanced myself and sought after peer counseling in order to deal with all the emotions I was working through. This was quite a difficult time for me to get through this while still having him around constantly trying to know what was going on in my head. It felt like psychological warfare, in which he would try his best to poke and pick through my thoughts and reactions. 

This time period stretched for quite sometime. During this time we both ended up going on a mission trip during our spring break. When I was forced to be around him for an entire week for 24/7 I couldn’t avoid him. His personality and the way he presented himself honestly enraged me at this point. I found myself avoiding him and being very short with him. This is where my good friend comes back into the picture. She was the middle man he went to to try to get into my head. As you you may have already guessed this caused some unrest between us. At some point I was so angry I was running around the chapel of the host church at full speed. This was a very low point for me, I just didn’t understand how he could force me to be this angry person that I’ve never been.

By the middle of the week, he was tired of me pretending he wasn’t a problem while still reacting to the hostility he was showing not only me but others as well. His true personality showed it’s ugly head when we played games after a long day of work. He was yelling and getting very mean to everyone playing when he wasn’t doing well or someone corrected him when he didn’t play correctly. The way he was to smug and condescending that I walked away and like I mentioned before I ran out the anger. It was not a good time and everyone could tell that I was not doing okay at this point and they knew exactly why. I was the only person to call him out for being a huge prick to everyone and they all saw that he didn’t care to change his behavior.

So I’m just going to wrap this up and say that he then took it upon himself to try to pull me to the side like a child and talk with me on his terms. This was a very bad idea because it ended with him telling me in a demanding tone to “go to bed” when I told him that I wouldn’t tell him every thought in my head. He also said that I was a liar and that I was deceptive because I told him it was not entitled to know what my thoughts and feeling were. At his point he was getting very possessive over me and was still confiding in my friend who told me everything he told her (yeah she would tell me in detail everything he said about me what a gal, then again she liked to stir the pot and feel him little bits of information that I have told her, not cool, very not cool).

Anyways he is no good and I finally ended up telling the director of the campus ministry after he had pulled me aside like a child on a second occasion, ranted to my friend about me at 4 am after he realized I was ignoring him at an event when I was trying to get school work done, and the final straw was when he left flowers and a note at my doorstep trying to bring up all of the issues I though I had already addressed, but he wanted to feel in control of the situation. Turns out the way he was treating me was reflective of the reason why he was already on probation, and in weekly advisement with the director. In the end he was asked to not return and not to contact me or any of my friends. He’s probably pissed, but that’s no longer my problem.

I’m in a new chapter of my life now. This summer of transition is scary, and I’m worried that I might fall back into my mistakes of freshman year all over again. At this point my guard and standards are as high as the stars. This is very difficult for me to move on and grow withing myself. I’ve been through the stages of doing nothing but sleeping, then I moved to long baths, then I moved to not eating or leaving my room. I went to work less until I finally just didn’t go for the last few work days. I worry about that a lot, the fact hat I never said a final goodbye to my co-workers at the elementary school I helped at.

At this point I am into more of a productive schedule, and I have watching children to thank for that. When I spend time with kids I forget all the things happening in my life and I just worry about what they need from me. In addition, it forces me to eat when they do resulting in me actually eating food. The only issues I’m finding difficult to work through are my sleep schedule and the way I deal with the idea of dating.

I don’t sleep until I physically hurt from exhaustion. I spend long nights trying to distract myself into being tired. Sometimes I interact and message other people but I end up just falling into my own world where nothing else matters but me. This is where it gets difficult, because I find comfort in being the only one awake and it’s peaceful for me. Ever since I was young I was a moon child, staying awake until odd hours just for the sake of it. I would clean, hangout with my dad, or just lay there in my naive thoughts. Now this time is tainted by regret, pain, and the realities of life.

Life isn’t so simple. I’m constantly in a state of exhaustion trying to keep myself busy and afloat. I’m suspended in the center, levitating over the state of depression and sadness, but still reaching up to grasp contentment and happiness. This leaves me in the state of a wandering traveler, always moving around trying to find myself. Trying to find something that I know I can only find in myself but I never quite remember it in the moments I try to fill the void.

My void is not hollow, but its simply soft and pliable. When something promising comes along I squish it against my heart and hope it doesn’t bounce back. I try so hard to give things a chance, to prove they can fit. The only thing that can fit at the moment is my faith in God. I know he’s there but sometimes the room that I leave for him isn’t completely filled by my heart for him.

It’s pretty depressing that I never really feel him anymore. I know he’s there, but just allowing me to learn and grow in my season of distress. In this time I know I must be patient and wait, but also I feel like I’m going to miss my chance at opportunities in life. That’s why I try my best to cram things against my heart, so I don’t miss the one piece of the puzzle that actually fits. That’s what terrifies me, missing something important whether that be an exit on the highway, a career opportunity, an experience, or even a person.

The unknown is that in between. You know everything you don’t have, or don’t feel, but you can’t figure out what it is that you’re truly missing to level up to a new season of life. I so desperately want to find a cheat code, or a get out of jail free card. I trust the process but the unknown terrifies every bone in my body beyond anything I’ve ever imagined.