#and also since there's less people to worry about
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grammys - cs55 smau
summary: yn hard launches her relationship with carlos at the grammys
a/n: short n sweet thing i wrote during online class oops
faceclaim: sabrina carpenter
warnings: some suggestive stuff? nothing major
masterlist
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yourusername blue is this season's color
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user7 gorgeous 😍
user19 she's at the grammys and you're not!
lilymhe blue is so your color💙
yourusername i love youuuu
user78 what is this crossover??
user2 you killed it👊🏼
user38 performance of the year <3
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sainzupdates carlos via instagram stories
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user1 Where is he going??
user32 people said they saw him at the grammys ???
user1 what the hell. what is he doing there?
user32 no clue
user84 when you are in a "who's the biggest carlos fan" fight but lando is your opponent
user7 what a hot man🥵
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ynupdates yn during her speech: "and lastly i want to thank my husband for being the inspiration behind many of my songs and putting up with me singing about our sex life. i love you"
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user25 HUSBAND?????? since WHEN???
user5 how can she be this beautiful? it should be illegal
user93 i need to know who was the inspiration for bed chem to thank them🙏🏼
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carlossainz55 posted a story!
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caption 💪🏼💪🏼
story replies
↪user3 you're a yn fan🫶🏼 taste
↪user84 i was gonna say you two should date but she just hard launched her marriage😭
↪alex_albon we stan a successful woman ♡liked by carlossainz55
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carlossainz55 my wife went home with two grammys and one smooth operator
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lando how could you do this to me😭😭 you are breaking my heart
yourusername you were at the wedding ???
carlossainz55 and you were my best man ???
lando i'll never recover from this betrayal
user98 this is crazy we didn't even know he was dating someone less alone MARRIED????
user52 and they are gatekeeping the wedding pictures i can't believe it💔
yourusername we'll share some soon don't worry😉
georgerussell63 tell her i'm obsessed with the album! me and carmen can't get enough and are eagerly waiting for the deluxe
yourusername i love you two❤️
user39 tom and zendaya, olivia and louis, dua and callum, yn and carlos...welcome back famous hot couples
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yourusername cause yall asked for it. here's to forever and always
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carlossainz55 posted a story!
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caption it was the best day of my life
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yourusername grammys afterparty
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carlossainz55 preciosa😍 te amo
yourusername i love you more🫶🏼🫶🏼
user18 i love how she's so committed to the new williams blue theme, she's one of us <3
user23 just realized she also wore blue while performing🥺
user8 we love a supportive couple
alexandrasaintmleux that dress🔥🔥
yourusername 😘
carlossainz55 it didn't stay on too long
yourusername CARLOS
carlossainz55 don't act shocked you are the one who wrote juno
user68 yn x carlos baby when?
user40 calm down we just found out about them today
lando i can tell by the pictures that carlos was really drunk
yourusername ngl we both were
carlossainz55 my wife won TWO GRAMMYS we had to celebrate
williamsracing as a great poet once said: blue is this season's color💙
yourusername 💪🏼💪🏼
#f1 smau#carlos sainz smau#cs55 smau#f1 fic#formula 1 smau#f1 x reader#carlos sainz fic#carlos sainz x reader#cs55 fanfic#cs55 x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic
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Enhypen reaction | You get shy when meeting them at a Fansign
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Pairing: enhypen x female!reader
Genre: fluff, relationship, comedy.
Note : English is not my first language, so I apologize if there are any grammatical errors, because I sometimes use a translator in some sentences.
Masterlist
Heeseung
Heeseung immediately notices the way your hands fidget as you approach him. His eyes soften, and a teasing smile tugs at his lips.
“Aww, are you nervous?” he coos, resting his chin on his hand while watching you intently. When you nod shyly, he chuckles, scribbling something on your album. “That’s cute. But don’t worry, I don’t bite.”
Seeing your face turn red at his words, he decides to be extra sweet. He leans in slightly and whispers, “Since you’re my fan, I’ll remember you. Next time, let’s talk more comfortably, okay?” He then slides your album back with a wink, leaving you a blushing mess.
Jay
Jay can’t hide his amusement when he sees you struggling to speak. Your fingers clutch the edge of the table as you avoid his gaze.
“Are you okay?” he asks, tilting his head with a warm smile. When you barely manage a nod, he chuckles. “You don’t have to be nervous, you know. We’re just people too.”
To make you feel more at ease, he casually starts talking about his day. “I actually spilled coffee on my shirt earlier. It was a mess,” he laughs, hoping to distract you from your shyness. By the time you move to the next member, you’re still quiet, but at least your lips curl into a small smile—which is a win in Jay’s book.
Jake
The moment you sit in front of Jake, he notices your hesitant demeanor. His eyes twinkle as he leans forward slightly, resting his arms on the table.
“You’re shy, aren’t you?” he asks with a bright grin. “It’s okay, I get shy too sometimes!”
To prove his point, he makes a dramatic expression of nervousness, clutching his chest. “Oh no, I’m shaking! (Y/N) is in front of me! What do I do?” He playfully fans himself, making you giggle despite your nerves.
When he sees you relax a little, he grins in satisfaction. “There we go! You have a really pretty smile. Make sure to show it more, okay?”
Sunghoon
Sunghoon watches you with gentle curiosity as you lower your head, too flustered to speak. He doesn’t tease you but instead gives you an understanding nod.
“Are you nervous?” he asks, his voice quieter than usual. When you nod, he hums thoughtfully before writing something in your album.
You blink as you read his message: "It's okay to be shy! I'm also not great at talking sometimes, so I understand. Let's cheer for each other!"
When you look up at him in surprise, he just gives you a small but reassuring smile. “You don’t have to say much. Just being here means a lot,” he says. His sincerity makes your heart race even more.
Sunoo
Sunoo gasps dramatically when he sees you freeze up in front of him. “Oh my gosh! Are you shy because of me?” He bats his eyelashes playfully. “I must be really handsome today.”
His teasing makes you blush even more, and he giggles, absolutely loving your reaction. “You’re so cute!” he exclaims, reaching out to hold your hands for a second. “It’s okay! You don’t have to be nervous. We’re besties now!”
He then quickly doodles a heart next to his signature and slides it back to you. “Next time, let’s talk more, okay? I’ll be waiting!” His bright energy makes you feel a little less nervous as you move on.
Jungwon
Jungwon notices how you fumble with your words and lower your gaze. He immediately goes into “leader mode,” wanting to make you feel comfortable.
“You must be really shy,” he says kindly. “It’s okay. I know meeting people you admire can be nerve-wracking.”
Instead of pressuring you to speak, he fills the silence with a soft conversation. “Do you have a favorite song from us? Just nod if you don’t want to talk.”
When you nod shyly, he smiles. “Oh, that’s a good choice! That’s one of my favorites too.”
By the time you leave, he hopes you feel a little more at ease—and he secretly hopes he’ll see you again next time.
Ni-ki
Ni-ki immediately picks up on your nervousness, and a playful smirk appears on his lips. He rests his chin on his hand, pretending to study you.
“Hmm… are you always this shy, or is it just because of me?” he asks, obviously enjoying your flustered state.
When you bury your face in your hands, he laughs and nudges the album toward you. “Here, let me give you a special message.”
When you open it, you see his note: "Next time, let’s have a staring contest! If you win, I’ll give you a secret.” You look up at him in confusion, and he simply winks. “Better start practicing,” he says as you move on, completely red-faced.
#enhypen reactions#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen x you#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x oc#enhypen heeseung#enhypen jake#enhypen jungwon#enhypen jay#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen#enhypen sunoo#enhypen niki#heeseung x reader#heeseung x you#heeseung x yn#jake x reader#jake x you#jake x y/n#kpop reactions#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#niki x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon x you
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faceless soulmates au but it’s also a faceless driver au. landoscar style
OP81 was a fucking mystery to lando. faceless drivers were more and more common, especially after max and lewis had had such impressive careers before their face reveals, so it wasn’t like he was thrown off by not knowing what his teammate looked like. it’s just. it had been a year since daniel left, the reassuring older brother bond frayed and tired as he departed, but still very much there, and the arrival of this faceless, monotone, machine of a rookie did fuck all to fill the void danny left. even a year on, despite the pr videos they had filmed together, lando just couldn’t get a read on OP.
he saw him sometimes chatting to logan and alex over at the williams garage, and OP was normal with them. he was normal with all the other drivers, in fact, laughing at their jokes, making quips when the moment needed them, giving a pat on the back after a hard race.
he wasn’t normal with lando.
sometimes lando would look across the garage and see OPs helmet staring right back at him, like his gaze had been fixed on him for hours, but then he would go over to chat and get the typical one word pr responses. lando was at the point where he thought it made the most sense that OP just didn’t fucking like him. which sucked, because having a teammate his own age should’ve been fun, even with the whole faceless thing, but lando could live with it.
it was just after the qatar sprint, everyone swearing buckets and thanking a higher power (their team principals) that media had been cut short due to the state of the drivers. lando had already been in his ice bath and was wandering back to his drivers room to go and pass out on the bed until someone started worrying about where he was and came and got him, passing by a cupboard when he heard a bump from inside and a crash.
intrigued and slightly concerned, he opened the door carefully to see a very wet OP with his helmet haphazardly on and his breathing halfway to hyperventilating.
what the fuck.
“oh fuck. oh fuck im so sorry you- shit sorry lando just pretend you didn’t see me- god this is fucking embarrassing-” OP rambled as he scrambled for the door handle, ignoring landos frozen body in the corridor.
his brain caught up to him and he clocked into the distressed tone of OPs voice. “wait, mate are you ok? stupid question, clearly not considering mr sprint winner is in a cleaning cupboard panicking. what the fuck happened?” he grabbed OPs arm from where it had been grabbing at the door handle and stopped it, making his way into the small cupboard at the same time.
OP stopped his rapid scrambling, seeming to accept landos presence in the cramped space, both boys sinking to the floor.
“i- have you not seen the photos? god they’re already all over the internet people probably know my fucking name- i just forgot there was reporters right next to the motorhome on the way back from the ice baths- i didn’t think they would see anything, i thought my face was covered-”
and oh. lando understood. OPs face had been leaked. oh fuck.
“oh fuck.”
smooth.
“yeah that’s-” a wet laugh escaped OP “that’s one way to put it. god this is so fucked.” his breathing was calming down, the situation no less terrible but the company in his moment of need bringing his heart rate down.
OP looked over at lando, who been subconsciously gently stroking his arm from his close spot next to him. he coughed lightly, trying to shake the broken tone from his throat, before speaking.
“have you seen what twitters saying? kim found me before i could look and grabbed my phone on his way to speak to zak and andrea. i was supposed to join them but i needed to just… take a minute.”
lando looked at him with sympathy, but got out his phone. considering the amount of bad press he’d gotten over the years, he knew checking social media right now probably wasn’t the best choice, but he also knew it was like an itch that needed to be scratched, and at least OP could look at it whilst he was with him for support.
he clicked on twitter, hesitating momentarily, but committing anyway, and went to the trending tab. OP81 was trending, along with a few other tags about the race and the name oscar. he clicked on the OP81 tag, and scrolled until he found a photo, the guilt of looking welling up in him but the curiosity winning out. but when he looked at the photo that had been posted he was confused.
“well mate it’s not that bad, it’s blurred anyway.”
OP81 looked at him, and lando imagined him slowly blinking underneath the helmet.
“what.”
“yeah look mate the photo that’s been posted has blocked out your face anyway. maybe that’s just edited.” lando focused back on the phone, eyebrows scrunching as he looked through the photos. “no look, they’re all like this see?”
OP81 did not see. OP81 was in fact having a crisis now for an entirely different reason.
what the fuck.
“lando… the photos aren’t blurred.”
lando looked at him like he was an idiot.
“yes mate they clearly are. look-” but before he could finish, OP lifted off his helmet. a completely blank canvas stared back at lando. it was as if someone had forgotten to tell landos brain what eyes and a mouth and a nose and a hairline looked like. it was all fuzzy, like he was looking at OP without glasses.
oh. oh.
“the photos aren’t blurred.”
OP81 sighs and tilts his head back against the wall, facing away from lando.
“i can’t see your face either. or. i guess now we know that, it’ll change.”
it took a few moments, the darkness of the cupboard now that the door had drifted shut again not helping, but when they looked back at each other, they could see. OPs swoop of brown hair, his moles, his brown eyes. holy shit. fuck being faceless, his teammate was pretty.
holy shit. his soulmate was pretty.
“wow. OP-”
“oscar. it’s- my names oscar piastri. i guess you should know now. that a good wow?” a hopeful gleam shone in OPs- in oscars eyes.
“god yeah it’s a good wow. you’re pretty.”
that got a laugh out of oscar, echoing around the cupboard and reminding the pair of the predicament they were in.
“we should probably-”
“yeah. zak and the team will be waiting.”
neither boy made to move.
“you know i didn’t- i’m really sorry if i was weird around you. before. i think i forgot i didn’t show my face? and so the soulmate rules of them having seen your face and clarity being restored to each of you wouldn’t apply. so when i kept not being able to see your face even after we’d been teammates for half a year, i just assumed what i had been landed with was a good old unrequited scenario. which sucked im gonna be honest cause you are you, and i obviously had a massive crush on you and-”
landos brain short circuited. “obviously? oscar i thought you were ignoring me because you didn’t like me. not because you thought that we weren’t soulmates. god i wish this happened earlier. well obviously i wish you hadn’t had your face leaked but-”
“oh shut up,” oscar said, and pulled lando in to kiss him. lando melted into him and he felt oscar relax as well. a moment went by and then lando pulled back, mourning the closeness but remembering why they were here in the first place.
“ok. as much as im loving the new teammate dynamic we have developed in the space of ten minutes, a panic attack, and a face reveal, we do need to go and talk to zak about that last one.”
they sighed and begrudgingly stood up, stretching slightly and nudging the door open. together they wandered back down to the main room in the mclaren motorhome, meeting the team and looking slightly sheepish.
they sat down as some of the social media team ran through their plan of action, condemning the posting of oscars face and name to the public, but encouraging oscar to embrace it. he nodded along, a distracted look in his eyes as he flicked over the faces of all the mclaren workers looking his way with curiosity. feeling a bit like a bug under a microscope, he grabbed landos hand for support, a look of understanding coming from the elder driver.
“um, one more thing,” lando said, speaking up for the first time in this meeting. all eyes fell on him and he looked at oscar guiltily. “me and osc are soulmates.”
“WHAT?”
#what the fuck#i didn’t mean to write this#sorry if this is shit i genuinely got possessed to write this#i love a faceless au i grew up watching youtubers you know the drill#fanfic#f1 rpf fic#f1 RPF#landoscar#op81#ln4#lando norris#oscar piastri#mctwinks#twinklaren#faceless au#soulmate au#wow. yeah. enjoy?#i might write this properly eventually#don’t hold out hope tho#my fic
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Bucky finds twitter
"Steve?"
Steve glanced at Bucky to where he was sitting at the dining tablen with a tablet grasped tightly in his hands, face stretched into a confused frown.
Steve had expected some sort of confusion from him, given that he was exploring social media for the first time, not to forget that it was &Twitter& out of all places. He still remembered his own first time of exploring the app, and he could confirm from experience that those people were unhinged.
"Yes Buck?" He called out over the noises from the movie, cringing at the scream the (very stupid) main character let out. Tony had insisted on watching a horror movie for that week's movie night, and had eventually won the hour long argument with the Clint by bribing him with a ride in the iron man suit. The thought of the iron man shooting arrows made Steve feel both amused and worried out of his mind about the public's reactions.
However, their team was nothing if not filled with master manipulaters.Others got involved in the discussion and now there was a calendar hanging next to the TV with their movie night schedule on it, filled till July. It was still March. He sometimes wondered how the world would feel knowing their supposed defenders of the planet were planning movies nights weeks in advance, but he couldn't be bothered to give any less of damn, because Bucky had stayed through the entire discussion and Steve could swear he noticed a hint of smile on his face at the antics of his teammates.
Seconds passed as Steve waited for a response but there was none. He quickly turned his head towards the dining table to his right, and watched as Bucky continued to stare at the screen. His posture was tense, similar to when he encountered something unfamiliar. Steve saw that a lot these days, as Bucky slowly recovered and acclimated to his new life.
It had been 4 months since Bucky had been pardoned for his crimes as the Winter Soldier and a year and a half since he pulled a drowning Steve out from the Potomac. It had taken the team months of searching and chasing to finally track him down to a hydra base in Bucharest. Steve had felt his heart shatter into a million more pieces when he watched his Bucky try to fight his way out with a dead-weight arm, with one leg bleeding through a nasty gash, looking like he hadn't slept or eaten for weeks. They were able to contain him eventually, much to Steve's protests, but he was glad they had taken the step, because Bucky had looked like he was a day away from starving/ bleeding to his death.
It was a rocky road of recovery from then. Steve had managed to get Bucky to trust him, maybe even think of him as his friend, but he had planned to keep the knowledge of their relationship hidden, incase it freaked him out and he tried to run.
Bucky had found out eventually, because the internet had their theories and Steve could never lie to him. He had been anticipating a panicked reaction but all he got was a nod and statement that it won't be like this between them because he doesn't trust Steve yet. Steve had never expected to be so delighted by a rejection. He tried to also Enot& jump with glee at the glimmer of hope that arose when he heard the yet.
"Why do people keep referring to me as their father?" Bucky asked, confusion clear in his voice, like he was unable to comprehend whatever he saw on the screen.
Also. What?
Steve opened his mouth to ask what the hell he meant but was cut off by the TV abruptly pausing shut, leaving the previously noisy room, in pin drop silence.
All heads turned toward Bucky with surprise, and in Tony's case, pure glee. Bucky on the other hand reacted exactly like Steve had sensed he would. His posture went rigid as he jumped up from his seat,mouth stretching into a deeper frown.At the moment, Steve had a pressing urge to yell at his teammates for startling him knowing full well how he reacts to sudden movements.
"Boy, you are in for a surprise" Sam chimes in with his own giggle as he takes a sip of his beer.
Bucky drops the tablet and gets up from the chair, jerking away from it like he's expecting it to blow up. He let's out a frustrated growl. "What is it?"
Steve's face heats up in realisation as everything falls into place. He remembers the first time he opened a social media account and encountered such messages. He refused to believe it was real at first, but then Tony had showed him several messages addressing Iron man the same way. The internet is weird. He wonders how Bucky would react. He wouldn't have expected the old Bucky to be bothered by it, hell he would have even found it flattering, but this Bucky was just starting to assimilate with this century, Steve wasn't sure how much of a shock this would be.
Tony sighs before he gestures at Bucky to join them around on the sofa "Before you have a meltdown and break my expensive furniture again, let me show you what's going on, Jarvis, do the honors". He swipes his fingers in the air, andbrings up a projection of a Youtube video, titled "Winter Soldier badass moments".
He notices Bucky staring at the screen in the air, unmoving from his place. His eyes find Steve as if looking for assurance, posture still rigid with uncertainty Steve puts on a gentle smile, as he scoots away from Natasha, creating space for him to sit on the sofa next to him. " It's okay Buck, come on". He pats the space invitingly.
Steve's heart melts a little when Bucky instinctively shifts closer to him as he sits down on the sofa. Bucky was still getting used to living as a free man, and Steve could relate with the anxiety that the new things of the century bought in front of them. He longs to put his arm around him and pull him into a cuddle, but decides against it. Bucky won't be comfortable, it will probably freak him out even more.
The video starts to play. It's a clip from the press conference that took place after a mutant-dog attack in new york. Steve watches as the Winter Soldier on the screen, scowls at the journalist.
"Who gave you your licence?no we didn't care before killing them They were rabid creatures. You would be dead within a minute of being near one." His scowl deepens as he mumbles irritated to Steve next to him "Is letting stupid people in part of the inclusivity??" Without realising his mic is still on. The crowd erupts into gasps and bits of laughters as the screen goes blank with a beep.
Beside Steve, Bucky looks slightly embarrassed.
"Hey I already apologized for it. I didn't know my mic was on, if you need me to do it again l'Il-"
The screen goes bright with another clip. This one is of a worse quality, clearly recorded on a cheap mobile by a bystander, in the middle of one of their battles against hydra after they hunted down their base. The Winter Soldier comes into view, dropping from a height with his left hand wrapped around an agent's throat, as his right shoots through the hydra agent approaching Steve from behind, while he was distracted fighting a group of 3 in front of him. The hydra agent is down before Bucky hits the ground.
Another beep, and then another video of Bucky in field or with reporters. And then another.
"You see Sargeant Barnes, all of these instances are displays of alpha behaviour. Strong, Protective, Assertive and Angry. This is-" Javrvis is cut off by Bucky.
"Ofcourse I was angry, we were in battle! I wasn't going to hug the hydra agents and song them lullabies to get them to drop their weapons"
Jarvis doesn't seem phased. "
...and grumpy. This
is the type of personality that the internet has deemed similar to that of a strong father figure.
However, the meaning has evolved over the years to refer to a dominant partner. According to some psychology journals-"
"Okay J, l've got it from here." Tony interrupts, typing into his phone as another screen pops up.
This time it is of a series of tweets, all referring to the Winter Soldier as daddy.
"But..why would they..how is it sexual?" Bucky's face contorts into that of a confused child learning of the existanve of alphabets in maths.
"that's just what some people are into man" Sam adds, shoulders shrugged.
Bucky seems to think it over for 2 minutes before he nods. Steve has a sudden urge to know how exactly his mind processed the information. "Do you. also get referred to ..like that?" He asks suddenly, eyes moving around the room nervously.
A series of 'yes' echoes around the room. Steve and Bucky both snap their head towards Natasha from where is smirking into her beer bottle. Steve is still processing the information when Bucky turns towards him.
"did we ever...call eachother.that?" He asks, eyebrowed furrowed.
Steve sputters as he struggles to swallow the beer in his mouth. He feels his cheeks warm as he shifts uncomfortablely. Bucky obviously didn't remember much about their time together in the war but it hadn't taken him long to figure out how badly Steve was in love with him. He had Apologized for not reciprocating and Steve had said he was just glad Bucky was here and safe with him. Did it hurt to talk about it? Yes. Was he glad Bucky hadn't reacted badly to it? Also yes.
Bucky was still confused, and Steve would face any amount of hurt to help him feel better.
"No" he laughs uneasily. "No Buck, I don't think this was something that was common at the time". Bucky stares at him for a minute before nodding.
"You done with question hour there Buckaroo? We still have a movie to watch" Tony quips, swiping the screens away. Bucky merely nods, before getting up from the couch to get back to his tablet.
***************************************************
Steve let's out a laugh as he looks at the screenshots of Bucky's tweet earlier.
User: (replied to a photo) he is such a daddy. No one can convince me otherwise.
WSargebarnes:, I am not a father and do not have children. Please stop sharing fake news on the web.
The post had millions of retweets. Steve sighed as he let out a chuckle. Bucky was being funny without realising it. He was happy that the people adored him. He deserves it, after everything he has been through.
Steve smiles to himself as he shuts off the lights and gets into bed.
His phone buzzes again and he flips over to grab it from the nightstand.
WSargebarnes: I realised my mistake with understanding the context of 'daddy'. Although Steve and I haven't used it during our time together, I understand that it is quite common now and am not bothered by it.
Steve winces as he thinks about the media circus that will rise tomorrow. It's their fault for not warning Bucky about talking about them in public but now that's its out Steve doesn't care. Bucky can deal with them, and his fans can have more clips to be fond of.
Steve was suddenly glad Sam pressured Bucky into a Twitter account. He liked the tweet and shut off his phone. He pushes his face into his pillow and smiles.
He feels lighter than he ever has.
#stucky#the winter soldier#bucky fanfic#steve rogers#james bucky barnes#chris evans#james bucky buchanan barnes#domestic avengers#the avengers#natasha romanoff#sam wilson#falcon and the winter soldier#captain america#steve x bucky#bucky being cute
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Reader attempts to hide from Rayna cause Rayna wants to fuck too often but Rayna keeps finding them anyways and dragging them to the bedroom.
♡ Rayna's Sister Is Hiding From Her ♡
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8085203409595e5fa98c7ec203ca3b5f/31ed5b2526a973a4-b3/s540x810/ea0ad122520111074cea4abc47a69c26dfc3ee4c.jpg)
Unfortunately your wish not to be found by Rayna was much more difficult than you originally thought because the people of the manor were frankly terrified of the way Rayna behaved when she could not find her dear sweet sister so they would often tell her where you were the moment she seemed even a bit agitated and attempts to dodge her kisses only made her more aggressive and made encounters last longer. You'd need to rethink your strategy when it came to hiding if you wanted not to be found. At this point though you basically knew every nook and cranny of the manor so finding a hiding spot was less a manor of having to look and more having to make sure there was no servant watching you like a hawk. usually the safest method to make sure of this was to go into the manor's library alone and use one of the passage ways to get out but people were starting to catch onto that too. Still even if you were eventually dragged back to Rayna it was worth it to have a few hours where she wasn't trying to show you her all consuming affection for you.
"My songbird! Please come out, I don't want you getting hurt! Remember yesterday you were stuck in that pantry!" You were not stuck but when Rayna saw you in an area she would consider dangerous for you to be in she automatically assumed you must have been stuck. The kitchen was now unfortunately locked to you. Today you were in the laundry room, hidden in a hamper under a pile of towels as Rayna tore apart the manor looking for you. Rayna usually never looked here but you think she was growing desperate and the servants were starting to get really worried. You really didn't care about what they were thinking though, you'd come out if she threatened to hurt one of them but right now they were in the clear so you were going to stay put.
"If my songbird is hurt somewhere because you failed to keep eyes on her, I will kill you and your whole family." And that was your cue to come out. You stood up out of the basket, towel falling to the floor as Rayna dropped the servant who's shirt she was holding, her expression brightening upon seeing you. She didn't acknowledge how you'd just heard her threaten a servant instead just walking over to you and picking you up out of the basket, carrying you bridal style. "I missed you songbird, never hide from your big sister again please."
"Only if you give me a break please, I can't keep doing this every day." You whined as she started to head to… the bedroom one again. It seemed she had no intentions to listen to your plea today either.
"Shhh, I have to show you how much I love you, don't worry I'll be gentle." She always was at first but the longer sessions always got rough towards the end and you had no doubt in mind this would be a long session. You almost wished you'd stayed in the basket. Especially since the laundry area would also most certainly be locked to you in the future. "It's cute when you act like you don't want to." You were going to slap her. Not that she'd feel in because in the past when you pushed her away she said your tiny hands felt adorable. Whoever decided to let her be this large would pay for your suffering…
Rayna on the other hand was grateful you couldn't see the state of the rest of the house after she spent an hour searching for you.
#yandere oc#yandere lesbian#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere scenarios#yandere asks#tw.incest#my oc ray
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Quinn is so happy his Auntie Wayne is writing again, because when I cackle reading something and wake him up, he gets reparation treats! This was the first one: “What d’you say, sweetheart? You taking me back?” / “You rolled your eyes at his antics. “Guess I have to. God knows returning you is impossible.”
“While you could see some similarities between the brothers, you took note of one big difference: Russell wasn’t as sarcastic and sharp-tongued. Probably because Russell had always been more concerned with what he should, would, or could share with people in an overthinking loop, while his younger brother seemed obviously free of that burden.” What a great way to describe the difference between the boys!
“Look, you weren’t exactly welcoming during our first meeting,” Russell argued with a bit of bark in his deep voice, although confrontation was probably not the best approach. But why should he always have to take the blame for everything? He’d already done that for more than two decades.” He’s such a good big brother, but damn, he shouldn’t have to keep doing that.
Quinn got a second one (he’s 13ish, but he’s managing to fall asleep in record time) “He’d come along way from the sweet boy you had once teased like a special-forces-trained kindergartner.” for both that and “Aw, aren’t you guys adorable,” you teased. / “Colter wanted to retort something dry-witted, but Russell held up a warning finger. “Ah – wait for it… Trust me. She’s not done.” / “You girls need tissues or a tampon, maybe?” / “Oh, Dory would definitely like her,” Colter repeated his earlier statement with an amused grin.” I cackled!! My kind of woman - and Russell’s, too, obviously.
Quinn got another treat at “This is less becoming a friendly ‘welcome-to-the-neighborhood’ dinner and more starting to look like an orgy to the neighbors. Especially since you’ve put on the robe.” Dude - it was out of the dryer, don’t hate because you’re jealous!
“Wouldn’t do that, baby,” you murmured into his ear with an amused smirk. “That boner’s not gonna go away in five minutes.” Bwahaha!!!
And then, in glorious Wayne fashion, you pull out the emotional sucker punches - broke my heart at “Well, shortly after that, I had a breakdown and I-… I almost hurt her.” He choked on the words, fighting the sting in his eyes… He had convinced himself you’d be better off without him – something he still believed to be true – but he also knew he wasn’t better off without you.” Damn! That whole internal monologue made me want to ply him with whiskey and hugs.
“You know, you’re not crazy like Dad was, Russ. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re crazy in your own way, but I wouldn’t worry about the other stuff.” Ooof!! Would love to know what the “or something” was - that’s going to be an emotionally-charged discussion when they finally have it.
And this also packed a punch:”Granted, the confession stung more than Russell would ever be willing to admit. The tiny, naive part inside of him had constructed a hopeless fantasy of his mother having a sudden change of heart over the last two decades and happily welcoming her firstborn back. Apparently, not a thing had changed, though, and he cursed himself for feeling disheartened.” My poor Russell! I want to kick Mommy Dearest in the teeth.
“I think whatever Dad was involved in – or both of ‘em – was just some activist shit. I don’t think the government cares.” Lie. “We both know he had a mental thing. Paranoid, probably schizophrenic… I mean, Mom used to pump him full of meds sometimes when he got too out of hand.” Truth. He then stole a glance at his little brother and saw the confusion shimmering on his face. Russell scoffed. “You didn’t know that, did you?” Yet another reason not to like Mommy Dearest…
And those last two lines…damn! Damn, this is so damn good, Wayne!!! I love this so much!! (Quinn does too!)
The Exit Strategy – Part 4
Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.
Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader
Warnings: 18+, language, fluff, some angst & feels, family secrets, spy stuff, a bit of spiciness
Word Count: 6.5k
A/N: Welcome back, friends! We're diving a bit into Shaw family secrets this week – fully Wayne's version, though. While I did read the books, there's no major spoilers**, so don't you worry. I just played with an idea here 🤓 I also won't be fully diving into the Shaw family life, but some things are heavily hinted to be... fishy here 👀 Enjoy & let me know what you think! 🤍
**There's a small part where Russell tells Colter about their parents. It's mentioned in the books that their mother was a psychiatrist. I took that and ran with it 🤷♀️
Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List
Part 4: This Is Not an Exit
“You’ve been walking down memory lane a lot tonight,” you teased with a nudge of his ribs, still tightly cuddled in his warm embrace in the freezing basement.
“Haven’t you?”
“No, I have,” you admitted with a melancholic sigh. “Maybe we should stop dwelling on the past so much. Think more about the future…”
Russell scoffed a small chuckle. “Dory said something similar not that long ago. Actually the reason why I came here.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, his fingers absently drawing circles on your arm. “I think it’s time we retire, sweetheart. I mean, after everything we’ve been through, I think we deserve to, right? You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I’m surprised we’re even still here, considering how many war zones we’ve been in.”
“Well, you know what they say – beware the old soldier because he’s old for a reason,” you said with a smile.
“Yeah, think I might be getting a little too old…” Russell chucked lightly, running a hand through his long hair. “So? What d’you think? One last hurrah, and then we hang this up? I was thinking maybe we could open up a brewery, you know? A family place. Bet the kids would love it.”
“Sounds nice,” you said with a yearning smile. You wanted all of that and more. “I’d love to retire with you.”
“But?”
You laughed slightly at his anticipating look. “But I don’t think you can yet.”
His eyebrows drew together till they met above the bridge of his freckled nose. “What d’you mean? I just told you I’m ready.”
“You say you are, but you aren’t,” you replied like the annoying Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. “Have you solved the murder yet?”
Russell licked his lips, which was his telltale sign that you caught him there. After all, you knew him better than anyone in this world – knowing when he needed to be pushed and shoved was part of it.
“No, but I don’t need to anymore. Look, the only reason I wanted to solve it was because I thought I had to prove my innocence to Colter. And well, turns out I didn’t. He believed me anyways, so…”
“That wasn’t the only reason,” you reminded him with a scrutinizing look.
“Maybe, but like I said – Dory thinks we should keep all this bullshit in the past, and after the last three years, I’m starting to agree with her,” Russell said, dragging a hand over his face.
“Look, if that’s what you want–”
“It’s what I want,” he assured you and placed a hand on your thigh, gently squeezing it. “Having my little brother and sister back is enough. I don’t need more. Nothing good ever comes from being greedy.”
You nodded in understanding, clearing your throat. “Still, in the name of our deal to always be honest, I kinda have to confess something.”
Rising from your seat, you dusted off your awful, flowery skirt and wandered to the wall safe once more, retrieving a thick folder from it. You took your place next to Russell again, his questioning eyes meeting yours as you handed him your research.
“When you didn’t come back after a year or so, I started looking into it as well. Might have done a full deep-dive,” you admitted with a bite of your lip.
Russell shot you a chiding look, shaking his head, but most of all, he was worried. “I told you to leave it alone. You don’t know what sorta people we’re dealing with here, but we do know they’re dangerous.”
“I know. I just wanted to help. Figured I could speed it along. I do have more access than you,” you countered softly. “I’m sorry, okay? But I was careful. I promise.”
“Good,” he said and looked at you, interlacing your fingers with his. “‘Cause the last thing I want is losing you over this bullshit, too.”
Nodding, you squeezed his hand in reassurance. “There’s something you should know, though.” He raised his brow anew – you’d always been full of surprises. Life certainly had never been boring. “Someone accessed the files after me.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. Definitely had a higher clearance than me, though,” you replied.
Russell threw his arms up, and you could see he was getting more upset again. “See? This is what I’m talking about! The whole point of us separating was to keep you and the kids away from it. Otherwise, we could’ve just stayed together, and I could’ve joined Horizon anyways.”
“I know that, too,” you said remorsefully. “But don’t worry. I wasn’t followed, and no one ever came after me. I made sure of it. It’s been two years now. They probably figured it was nothing after I didn’t reach out to you straight away.”
“Still… I don’t want you involved, alright?”
“What about Colter? Doesn’t he want to know? He doesn’t strike me as someone who just lets things go,” you noted observantly.
Russell clicked his tongue – a sign of defeat. “He isn’t, but he’s not gonna find anything either. I mean, the only reason I know is because you were so relentless and kept digging.”
“You haven’t told him what we found out?”
Russell licked his lips and admitted quietly, “No. I don’t think it does anyone any good to keep looking into this.”
Leaning forward and hugging your knees, your head bobbed pensively. “I thought you guys talked about what happened?”
“We did. Kinda… It’s complicated,” he stated, swallowing. “Dory was easy, you know? I guess she never really believed it… But it took a while till Colter even picked up the phone, let alone answered a goddamn text message. Had to get a little annoying.”
You smirked. “Well, you’re good at that. That’s how you won me over.”
“By being persistent?”
“Exactly. Like a tardigrade.” You grinned. “I mean, you kind of are doing it now again, too.”
He chuckled quietly. “Yeah, guess so.”
“Is that why you haven’t told him about me and the kids? Because you’re not sure about him yet?”
“Partially, yeah,” he admitted. “I guess I wanted to protect you. And maybe myself a little, too… Not sure I’m ready for those two worlds to meet yet, you know? I mean, you and the kids are the best things that ever happened to me, and when I look at Colter or Dory, I’m sometimes reminded of the worst things in my life.”
“What about your mother?”
Russell let out an exhaustive sigh that was half amused. “Geez, you haven’t changed a bit. You still ask the most uncomfortable questions possible.”
You laughed a little. “Gathering intelligence in uncomfortable ways is kind of my job, Shaw.”
“Yup, and no one’s better at it than you, sweetheart,” Russell quipped.
“So I’m guessing it’s a no on Mommie Dearest?”
Russell licked his lips, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna see her. Mostly because I don’t even know what to fucking say anymore,” he said. “I don’t want her to meet the kids either.”
“It’s okay,” you assured him and took his hand in yours. “It’s your choice, Russ. We go at your pace, alright?”
“Thank you.” Russell brought your intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand before he looked at you deeply, a smile dancing across his plump lips. “I love you.”
You mirrored his smile, your heart fluttering like a wild butterfly in your chest. “I love you, too.”
“I’ll tell them – Dory and Colter. I want this to work,” he promised. “Just… after we finish this. I want him to have a clear head. I prefer not to get him killed, you know?”
“I get it. I thought the same thing when I first met you, too,” you joked, patting his chest. “But you brought him into this. It’s kinda on you.”
Russell scratched his bearded chin. “Yeah, but I didn’t exactly know what I’d bring him into.”
“Didn’t you, though?”
Amused, Russell bobbed his head. “Yeah, maybe I did,” he acknowledged. “You know, when Manny called me–”
Your eyes widened. “Manny called you?”
Russell blinked at you, brow creased in confusion. “Yeah, why?”
“That motherfucker…”
Furiously, you stomped to the desk and grabbed the radio. “Drone-5. This is Queen Bee-1. Report to Hive.”
The static of the radio cracked almost instantly, as if the idiot had been waiting all night for this call. “Yo, Queen Bee-1. How’s my boy?” Manny’s laugh echoed through the basement.
Russell’s glowing cheeks reached his eyes when he heard his friend’s voice. He’d known the guy almost as long as Doug.
“You’re the one who fucking told him?!” you yelled into the radio, almost crushing the device in your hand.
“To be fair, I told him not to engage with tango,” Manny sheepishly replied.
“Ha-ha, funny. Fuck you,” you huffed and tossed Russ the walkie-talkie. He caught it with one hand.
His boyish grin widened as he pushed the button. “You know, Drone-5, you could’ve told me you were actually working this thing.”
“Aw, you know I can’t do that. But I guess congrats on crashing another operation. You’re Worker Bee-3 now. Old habits die hard, huh?” Manny chuckled.
“Yeah, I guess…” Russell replied with a lighthearted chuckle, but his teeth tugged pensively at his lips.
“Great to have you back, brother. Hope this works out for you. See you on the other side, man. Oh, and could you move like three feet to the left and turn the washer off? We can barely hear and see you guys, and Drone-2 just ran out to grab popco–”
“No, absolutely not. Out,” you snapped as you grabbed the radio from Russ. He laughed as you put it furiously back on the desk. You knew what you had signed up for, but you still deserved some privacy. Annoyed, you took off your cross necklace – another bug – and settled down beside him again.
“What did he say when he called you?”
“Nothing much, really. Just told me your coordinates and that you like to pick up your mail at three o’clock at the local post office,” Russell replied.
You shook your head, smiling. “Well, he always loved you, so…” You started to chew on your lower lip, the anxiety in your belly returning. For the sake of your mind and heart, you had to make sure Russell was fully back, and this wasn’t just a fluke. “You know, I worry sometimes that if you don’t face this thing with your family, you’ll always feel this way. I mean, after Lewis was born–”
“I know.” Russell nodded, swallowing thickly. He saw the worry shimmering in your eyes, and it cracked his heart a little. “I know I kinda lost it there. Took me by surprise, too. Trust me. Figured I had dealt with all that shit already, you know? But I guess seeing you with him and feeling all that love myself, I just-… I don’t know. I don’t know how she could do it… Ashton was one thing, but she just stood by. And I don’t even know what the hell she was up to while he took us out into those woods…” He shook his head as if to rattle the answer out of his brain. “And then when we found out you were pregnant again… I mean, I’d barely held it together with Lewis. Everything just became a blur. I couldn’t think straight anymore, and I worried all the time I’d be like them…”
“I tried to help,” you said softly.
“I know you did. Guess this was just something I had to figure out on my own,” he replied with a beat shrug.
“How’s your vision now? Still blurry?”
“Clearer than ever.” A smile flickered alive on his lips, green eyes boring into yours as he leaned in and kissed you slowly like he meant every word. Blowing a raspberry, he then turned his attention to the file in his lap. “So, what am I gonna find in there?”
“Honestly, nothing we haven’t already puzzled together,” you replied, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. “But I found a couple of names associated with your parents. Thought maybe you could look at them and see if you recognize the person you saw in the woods.”
“I already know where this is going…”
“Russ, please, just–”
Russell interrupted you, placing a soothing palm on your thigh that curbed your enthusiasm. “I’ll think about it, alright?”
Satisfied, you raised two placating hands. “All I was asking…”
“How was the lasagna?”
After four hours in the basement, you and Russell quietly treaded up the stairs a few minutes after midnight, finding Colter in the kitchen, eating leftovers out of the ceramic form in the warm glow of the stove light. Tom, on the other hand, had passed out on the couch, only the blue flickers of the TV and the soft noises of a peaceful nature documentary filling the silence of the dark living room.
“Excellent,” Colter stated, swallowing down a mouthful of lasagna before speaking. “I told Tom he should be a chef in a restaurant or something.”
Russell’s brow knitted in doubt. “Really? Lemme try.”
“You just ate two entire bags of junk. You can’t still be hungry,” you argued with a giggle, shaking your head.
“It’s lasagna,” Russell said simply, grabbed a fork from the drawer, and dove right in.
That man would eat anything. You’d seen him do it, too. He didn’t even go hungry when he was lost in a desert.
“Wow, that is good,” Russell announced his judgement with a full mouth. “Maybe we should hire Tom for the brewery, huh?”
“I’m guessing this means you two talked?” Colter asked with a carefully arched brow.
“Hmm. I don’t know,” Russell mused in jest. “What d’you say, sweetheart? You taking me back?”
You rolled your eyes at his antics. “Guess I have to. God knows returning you is impossible.”
Russell laughed and slung an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. He kissed your temple.
But then you noticed Colter’s smile falter, his brows creasing in question. “Is your hair different?”
“Shit!”
Wide-eyed, you bolted back down the creaking stairs to the basement, hearing Russell’s laughter fill the kitchen.
“Was she wearing a wig? And her eyes too, right?” Puzzled, Colter tried to piece it all together. He had already figured by your extensive vocabulary of swear words that you might be a better match for his older brother than he had initially surmised.
“Yup, all fake, man,” Russell confirmed and smirked. “Still think she’s not my type yet?”
“No, I can see it now,” Colter admitted, chuckling. “So, you guys are good?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Russell nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, swallowing.
Colter’s smile widened, filling the older Shaw’s stomach with more guilt. “That’s great. Happy for you, man. Guess that means you’re retiring now, huh?”
Russell scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, we’ll see. Always depends on what the wife decides, you know?”
Yup, he sprinkled that important bit of information into a joke. Then, he watched his little brother take a stumped step back, brow furrowing and unfurrowing and then furrowing again.
“Wha-, wife?”
Russell produced a popping sound with his lips like the noise of a bottle when the cork was pulled. Welp, this bottle was surely open now.
“Yup, got married in Thailand in 2011,” he added another helpful tidbit of information, but Colter’s jaw dislodged all the same.
“Alright, got this all figured out,” you said, sauntering back into the kitchen with a pastel pink towel wrapped around your head and a matching bathrobe. You’d just grabbed them from the dryer, the fluffy material still cozily warm. It was the best option, considering you didn’t want to mess around with your wig as well after popping the lenses back in had already cost you most of your patience. In your little bubble of bliss, you hadn’t instantly noticed the brothers staring at you. But once you did, your brows morphed into a frown. “What’s going on?”
“You two are married?” Colter asked, a pointed finger flicking from Russell to you.
You threw your arms up, looking at your husband. “I was gone for five minutes! What happened to telling him after the operation?”
Russell offered you a sheepish shrug. “Well, this old soldier’s getting weak too, apparently.”
“He said it like a joke…” Colter mumbled, still in the middle of processing this new revelation. His older, estranged-but-now-less-strange brother had a wife. A family. Friends. And he knew none of it. What else was there? Kids?
“Yeah, he does that...” You shot your husband a scolding sideways look. “Should I leave you two alone for this?” you then offered, hoping the answer was a goddamn yes.
“Why would you? You’re family, right?” Colter retorted with a dry smile and a sharp look.
You pursed your lips. While you could see some similarities between the brothers, you took note of one big difference: Russell wasn’t as sarcastic and sharp-tongued. Probably because Russell had always been more concerned with what he should, would, or could share with people in an overthinking loop, while his younger brother seemed obviously free of that burden.
“Don’t take it out on her,” Russell stepped in gently, which really was a warning. “She didn’t know about any of this. Kinda pushed her into it.”
“Seems to be your style,” Colter scoffed.
“Can’t work for the CIA without going through a baptism of fire, little brother,” Russell said simply, giving an unapologetic shrug of his shoulders.
“Why would you not tell me?” Colter stared at him, his look a mix of reproach and agitation.
“Look, you weren’t exactly welcoming during our first meeting,” Russell argued with a bit of bark in his deep voice, although confrontation was probably not the best approach. But why should he always have to take the blame for everything? He’d already done that for more than two decades.
“That was months ago,” Colter countered, scowling. “I’d like to think I’ve come around since then… Coulda told me after we saved Doug.”
Russell let out a small sigh of defeat, rolling his eyes back slightly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, man, alright?” he apologized earnestly.
With a questioning brow, you carefully nudged your husband’s arm. “What happened to Doug? Is he alright?”
“Yeah, uh, he went to work for Horizon with me. I’ll tell you later, okay?” Russell replied, his voice a lot quieter as if sharing a secret, and if Horizon was involved he probably was.
“Is Tracy okay?”
“She’s fine. Little shook up. You should probably give her a call. Smooth things out,” Russell told you.
Tracy thought you worked in marketing at some company for the government. Whenever you, Russell, and Doug were stuck on a mission, the boys made you call her to “smooth things out” – aka reassuring her everything was certainly fine with her husband and he wasn't in any danger at all. They’d once made you call her from a Black Hawk. The noise had been fun to explain away – you’d told her you were picking up a client from a helicopter pad.
Colter chewed on the insides of his cheeks. “So she knows Doug, too?”
Russell nodded. “Yeah, me and Doug were mostly Delta, but SAD liked to borrow us from time to time. We ran in her team for quite a while. She was actually the one who recruited me.”
At his little wink your way, you smiled. He’d come along way from the sweet boy you had once teased like a special-forces-trained kindergartner.
“Listen, things were obviously a little complicated between me and her the last few years,” Russell (under)stated. “But I’ve brought you here for a reason, okay? Figured it’s time you meet your sister-in-law.”
Eyes drifting from you to Russell, Colter pursed his lips – a tell he shared with his brother.
“Are you mad? I can’t tell.” Frowning, Russell tilted his head.
“No,” you absentmindedly replied for Colter, who gave you a curious look but steered his attention back to Russell.
“No,” the younger Shaw repeated your assumption. “I mean, not more than I was before, you know?”
Russell’s creases only deepened. “No, I don’t know.”
“He means he’s indifferent about knowing or not knowing we’re married because he’s already pissed about not knowing about my existence in general,” you explained.
“Ah. Your nerd is showing, sweetheart,” Russell teased you with a smile that made your heart melt.
“Dory would like her,” Colter commented like the thought had just popped into his head – something else he didn’t share with his brother.
You’d always wondered about the youngest Shaw of the three. Russell could never tell you much about Dory. His memory had been one of a smart and feisty nine-year-old, not a young woman and physics professor.
Thumbing at you, Russell cocked a brow at his brother. “Is she right, though?”
“Spot on, actually.” Colter’s tongue poked his cheek, his gaze flickering with a hint of astonishment and new-found respect for you. “And I guess I’m not really mad either way. Just… surprising, you know? I should’ve asked. That’s on me.”
Russell seemed more than a little baffled to hear this, considering he had to pause to find an appropriate response. “No, uh, we’re good. I could’ve just told you, anyways.”
“Yeah, no, that’s alright.” Colter swallowed, sending his older brother a smile of forgiveness. “Honestly, I was glad to hear you weren’t alone all this time, so…”
Russell’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he pushed down the lump in his throat. With a nod, he averted his green eyes to the kitchen floor. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”
“Aw, aren’t you guys adorable,” you teased.
Colter wanted to retort something dry-witted, but Russell held up a warning finger. “Ah – wait for it… Trust me. She’s not done.”
“You girls need tissues or a tampon, maybe?”
“Oh, Dory would definitely like her,” Colter repeated his earlier statement with an amused grin.
Russell, on the other hand, shot you a pointed look, but that had barely ever stopped you before. “Okay, you can lay down. You don’t have to give him the initiation. No hazing my little brother,” he ordered you sternly, and you stifled a snort. “And no one better kidnaps him tonight and puts a bag over his head, alright? I don’t wanna pick him up beaten and bloody from some warehouse tomorrow morning.”
“Hm, what?” Colter’s brow furrowed. For the first time, you could see slight panic spread in his pupils.
Who was hazing who now?
You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance. “Fine, we’ll leave him alone,” you acted your capitulation.
The younger Shaw blinked at you. “Thank you?”
“Should we at least tell him about the other thing while we’re at it?” you asked Russell with a suggestive look.
Thoughtfully, he paused for a beat, then clicked his tongue. “No, I got it from here. It’s getting late. We’ve been here long enough,” he decided. “This is less becoming a friendly ‘welcome-to -the-neighborhood’ dinner and more starting to look like an orgy to the neighbors. Especially since you’ve put on the robe.”
“It just came from the dryer. Look, it’s so soft and warm,” you argued, pouting, your palms caressing the fluffy material on your arms.
“Uh-huh.”
The little bob of his Adam’s apple made you grin slyly. The way his jaw ticked and his pupils widened with a primal hunger, you could tell he wanted to tear that robe right off of you. The thought caused a shudder to run down your spine.
“What, uh, other thing do you have to tell me?” Colter asked and smiled expectantly, tapping his fingers on the the counter.
Russell, however, grabbed his arm and dragged his curious little brother toward the exit. “I’ll tell you in the car,” he said and thumbed to the front door behind his shoulder. “Wait outside. Gimme five minutes, alright?”
Wordlessly, Colter nodded without argument, gave you a quick goodbye-wave of his hand, and strolled leisurely back to his car as if he knew exactly what his older brother intended to do.
As expected, Russell impatiently conquered your lips, roughly pressing you against the foyer’s wall, your arms draping around his neck.
“What’s the bedroom situation in this place?” he asked between kisses.
“First floor, west side, third window from the right. I’ll leave it unlatched,” you replied, smiling against his lips. “Tom’s always sleeping on the couch. Part of our cover is going to marriage counseling with Pastor Jeff, which happens to work out great for us.”
You exhaled a shuddered breath when one of his hands wandered past the robe and splayed warm against your ribcage, just underneath your breast. His thumb fought an itch to get closer.
“Wouldn’t do that, baby,” you murmured into his ear with an amused smirk. “That boner’s not gonna go away in five minutes.”
“Mmm, I know,” he groaned and dropped his head between your boobs, lips pressing a chaste kiss to your collarbone. If he continued on with this, your arousal would surely streak down your bare thighs soon. Luckily, he had mercy on the both of you. “I’ll talk to him and then come back, okay?”
You nodded with a smile. He kissed your lips, then your forehead, and then disappeared through the door with the same cometary velocity he had entered your vision.
And all you could do was hope you’d see him one more time in your life.
“So?”
4.3 seconds after Colter killed the engine of his pickup in a spot a block away to the west side of your house – as per Russell’s very specific instruction – he stared scrutinizingly at his older brother.
Impatience was also a family trait – one even their father had despised.
“Look, uhm, there’s no easy way to break the news…”
“Is this about you having two kids?”
When Russell’s eyes met Colter’s, he didn’t recognize any anger, hurt or resentment in them – just pure slyness. At least that was good news. His little brother was just going to be annoying about this whole thing.
“Yeah, remember those five minutes you left me alone in the car? I called Bobby. Had him check some things out for me. Wasn’t easy to find. I’ll give you that…”
As expected, Colter was going to be a smartass about it. He figured it out on his own. He won the game.
“Hmm.” Russell pursed his lips, nodding. “You do know the CIA is on your guy’s ass now, right? Shouldn’t have done it in their perimeter, man. Manny’s probably all over this by now…”
Then his brow knit as if the thought of his old friend had provoked an idea, his head tilting with narrowed eyes at the air vents on the dashboard. How long had that car been parked outside and out of sight again?
Like a game of Operation, Russell then used thumb and pointer finger as his tweezers to retrieve a tiny bug – the spy kind.
“Gotcha,” Russell muttered, smirking. He then held the bug close to the speakers of the radio before turning up the volume to its highest setting – only for a second. He switched the radio off, rolled down the window, and threw the unwanted listening device onto the pavement. “That should teach ‘em a lesson…”
Colter cocked an incredulous brow at his brother. “They bugged my car?”
“Oh, trust me, they bug anything they can get their greedy little hands on,” Russell retorted. “Would probably check for a tracker underneath, too.”
“Great, thanks,” Colter huffed wryly.
“Hey, you wanted in. That’s what they do,” Russell reminded him, shrugging, but there was a smile of amusement on his lips.
Colter only bobbed his head. “So, you and her? You guys are good now? Just like that? Seemed… easy. Sorta…”
Russell chuckled lightly, brushing a hand through his beard. He knew his relationship with you was unconventional, but it had always worked for you and him.
“Me and Y/N have a deal, you know? It’s not all black and white. I mean, we became aware a long time ago that the two of us operate in a lot of gray zones. But, uh, we always know we can rely on each other, you know? Doesn’t matter if we’ve been separated by time or space,” Russell explained to the best of his abilities.
“So what happened?” Colter prompted with the same amount of confusion. “Why did you guys split up? I saw on the birth certificate your daughter was only two years old. I mean, did you-… did you even know?”
Russell inhaled deeply, nodding. “I knew she was pregnant. When she told me back then, I-…” He paused, licking his lips. It wasn’t something he had ever talked about with anyone before – not even you. “Well, shortly after that, I had a breakdown and I-… I almost hurt her.” He choked on the words, fighting the sting in his eyes.
He’d tried so hard to forget, wasn’t even sure he had ever really apologized for it to you because he so badly didn’t want it to exist that he’d tried to wish it out of literal existence, and hence, never really blamed you for leaving like you did. He understood. In fact, he had even wished you’d leave. He had convinced himself you’d be better off without him – something he still believed to be true – but he also knew he wasn’t better off without you.
He’d been lost and alone. And maybe, he was being selfish by crashing back into your life now. Or Dory’s. And Colter’s.
“I mean, nothing ever really bad happened. It’s just-… That night I came scarily close,” Russell confessed, swallowing thickly. He still hated himself for that night and everything that followed. “It’s like a switch flipped, you know? I couldn’t do anything against it… And Lewis saw parts of it, and I was already impatient with him and short with her the weeks before, so I just left that night and disappeared for two months. Volunteered for some mission. Figured it was best for everybody.”
It’s better off if he never comes back…
Russell licked his chapped lips. The next part was the hardest.
“When I got back, she told me she got a job offer in another country, and that she would be taking it and taking Lewis with her. She wanted me to use the time to… I don’t know… solve this, I guess.” He let out a humorless scoff at the painful memory.
Russell hadn’t seen it at first, maybe because he hadn’t wanted to, his anger and pain blurring the truth. After his son had been born, Russell knew you could see him struggling, so you started digging deeper into his family and what really happened. And when you’d found something – Horizon – you’d told him you could infiltrate. Naturally, Russell had passed a hard no – it had been a five-hour long fight, but he'd emerged victoriously by the end. So, you’d told him he should do it, but he didn’t want to leave you, and he didn’t want to endanger and jeopardize his family.
He’d told he was fine, but he wasn’t. It kept gnawing on him – and gnawing and gnawing and gnawing… till you eventually pulled the plug and ended his suffering.
“I was exhausted, so I told her we’d talk about it in the morning. When I woke up, they were gone. Didn’t even notice she’d already packed.”
Colter was silent for a beat. “Was it PTSD or something?”
“Or somethin’,” replied Russell.
“But you’re good now?” Colter checked with a warily raised brow.
“Guess so…”
Truthfully, Russell didn’t know if he was or wasn’t. He’d tried hard to figure out what it was exactly that had set him off that night and fix it, but he didn’t know if that feeling would ever disappear for good. He just knew he had never felt that way again since then. But could he guarantee it would never come back?
He didn’t know.
“Look, all I know is, seeing you and Dory again helped, so…” Russell twitched his shoulders and sighed. He didn’t know what else to say, how to explain it better, but Colter seemed to understand anyway, reading between the lines.
Russell worried he’d be like their father.
“I think I get it.” The younger Shaw nodded and licked his lips. “You know, you’re not crazy like Dad was, Russ. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re crazy in your own way, but I wouldn’t worry about the other stuff.”
“Well, thanks,” Russell said, not convinced but appreciative of the vote of confidence. “Makes at least one of us…”
“I-, uh, I noticed their names,” Colter then said and clarified, “Lewis and Amelia. Like explorers. Like us.”
“Ah.” Russell smacked his lips and brushed it off, “Wasn’t really my idea. I told Y/N that story once. Guess she took a liking to it..”
“Are you, you know, gonna tell Mom?”
Russell was almost surprised by the question. The brothers had barely talked about their mother since they’d reconnected. Considering Colter had never brought her up again after their first meeting, Russell figured there was a reason for that – and he thought he probably knew the reason, too.
Russell scoffed a chuckle and looked at his little brother with an almost incredulous look. “I think you can guess the answer to that one,” he replied and figured it said enough. “Did you tell her I came back?”
Colter pursed his lips, and Russell took it as a sign of admission. So his mother knew. Great…
“Sorta,” Colter admitted hesitantly.
“What d’she say?” Russell almost smiled out of amusement. He already knew the answer, but his brother still seemed reluctant. “C’mon, you can tell me. I’m not gonna be butthurt after twenty years…”
“She told me to ignore you,” Colter finally confessed, but the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. They had ever since his mother said them, but even more so now that he knew his brother – and parts of the truth.
“Hmm,” Russell hummed with tight lips and ground his jaw.
Granted, the confession stung more than Russell would ever be willing to admit. The tiny, naive part inside of him had constructed a hopeless fantasy of his mother having a sudden change of heart over the last two decades and happily welcoming her firstborn back. Apparently, not a thing had changed, though, and he cursed himself for feeling disheartened.
“But I actually haven’t talked to her in a while now,” Colter added with a small shrug, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
“Huh, really?”
“Yeah, uh, and when I did, I didn’t exactly tell her I didn’t take her advice, you know? So…”
“Why not?” Russell’s brow furrowed a little more as he analyzed each word, simultaneously realizing why he had been so reluctant to share his life with Colter before – his subconscious had been afraid his alienated little brother would report back to the mothership.
Colter’s lips pursed. “Because I disagree.”
“Ah.”
Colter chewed on his lower lip. “Look, I know you and Dory wanna keep all of this in the past and play family – and trust me, I want that too,” he assured, but his heart was beating fast in his chest. “But I need to know, man. I need to know why she lied about this for twenty years and, you know, did all of this,” he insisted, and yet, Russell could tell he wasn’t done. He might have broken the dam. “She did it to you. I mean, aren’t you mad?”
“Of course I’m mad,” the older Shaw admitted, but there was no fire behind his words.
“Then why are you so calm?”
Amused, Russell chuckled, shrugging. “Probably ‘cause I’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than you, little brother.”
“So, what are we gonna do now?”
“We ain’t gonna do anything,” Russell clarified, his voice stern. He’d die to protect his family, you and the kids, and do anything in his power to keep you out of it, but Colter was a grown-up – a free agent. If he didn’t want to listen, Russell couldn’t force him. “Look, you wanna find out, you go find out. And if you do find something and need help, you call. But I can’t be involved in this,” he explained, his firm expression morphing into something more vulnerable and sincere. “And frankly, I don’t care that much. You, me, Dory, Y/N, the kids – that’s all that matters, trust me. You’re not gonna feel better or more… whole after finding those answers.”
“How do you know? Do you know what really happened?” Colter instantly asked, and Russell knew in that moment, it’d be hopeless. His brother wouldn’t stop till he found it – forever restless.
“No, I told you. I don’t,” Russell repeated, and while he didn’t know everything, he omitted that he knew something.
“What about Y/N?”
Russell froze at the bare mention of your name, his protective instincts kicking in. “Leave her out of this,” he all but snarled.
But Colter didn’t think about stopping. “Did you ever ask her? I mean, she’s CIA. She could probably find out something, right?”
“Yeah, I asked her once, alright? Was a long time ago,” Russell admitted, sighing. The intended lie would stick better if there was some truth to it – you had taught him that.
“C’mon, Russ… And?” Colter impatiently threw his arms up, brow raising higher and higher as he waited for an answer.
“She never found anything,” Russell said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.
This time, it wasn’t just an omission. It was a blatant lie.
“I think whatever Dad was involved in – or both of ‘em – was just some activist shit. I don’t think the government cares.” Lie. “We both know he had a mental thing. Paranoid, probably schizophrenic… I mean, Mom used to pump him full of meds sometimes when he got too out of hand.” Truth. He then stole a glance at his little brother and saw the confusion shimmering on his face. Russell scoffed. “You didn’t know that, did you?”
Quietly, Colter shook his head.
“Well, you were a kid,” Russell said and hoped it would curb the blow slightly, although he knew better than that. “He always took something as far back as I can remember. She used to prepare his pills every evening after you and Dory went to bed. But when we moved to the cabin, he started refusing to take them. Said they made him ‘not clear-headed enough.’ Kinda ironic,” he shared and snorted. “When it got too bad, though, she’d still crush ‘em into his food.”
Colter took everything in with a nod but didn’t say anything more.
“You good over there?” Russell checked after a full minute had passed.
“Yeah,” Colter said and even tried to form a reassuring smile before the attempt failed. Instead, he swallowed. “Just a lot, you know? I didn’t know. I mean, I had some idea, but not-… not that.”
“Yeah, I figured,” Russell said, his voice almost a whisper in the silence of the night. “Like I said, you were a kid…”
When Russell finally left the car to sneak back to you, his shoulders felt a little lighter and his heart a little calmer. He might just float through that unlatched window tonight.
The bad news was, though, he might not be able to retire just yet.
Part 5: This Is a Start – FEBRUARY 7
Honestly, I should've called this chapter "Heart-to-Heart Part II" 😂 I'll see you for the finale next week, but as you know, it's not the end for them – only just the beginning 😉
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Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#plot twist he COULD be admitting angsty stuff but he’s pushing the less oof truths forward instead on purpose#raph: hey leo what do you want for dinner#leo: *about to bare his soul on all his internal torment but pivots* I’m afraid of snakes#(no but fr Leo’s stripes being technically more pink instead of red is cute ngl)#(a very reddish pink to the point that in certain lighting it looks red but at the base they’re p pink)#(i also am very fond of the idea that Leo doesn’t just have questionable taste in fashion he also just loves Raph a lot and looks up to him)#but yeah I think that something like this would be 99% Leo admitting to unimportant things or admitting to how much he values everyone#like they all KNOW Leo loves them and he’s talked them up enough for them to know but it’s different when he’s like#‘I just wanna read my comics with you guys around - it’s my favorite place to be’#or again just random bs that doesn’t REALLY have a lot of weight like#‘I like using my portals to prank random people around the world’#‘I’m worried about being a bad influence on hueso jr’#‘sometimes I kinda wanna see hypno’s plans succeed’#‘it’s been way too long since I found this out and honestly it’s embarrassing but I actually don’t have a di-‘#SORRY COULDNT HELP MYSELF#(<-but did u know that that pink rather than red observation actually ties into this headcanon as well if u know about red eared sliders)
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I analyze fandoms the same way I analyze the media they're built around and that should concern all of you
#the MXTX fandoms are FASCINATING#They reflect their books#(SVSSS has the most‚ most creative‚ and some of the best AUs and is also twice as unhinged as the other two combined)#(MDZS has the most and prettiest art (the settings and character design cannot be matched) and most interesting dynamic analysis.)#(TGCF has the cleanest (RELATIVE) fandom and the biggest obsession with its main couple (rightly so) It also has the least shipping overlap#but they are also distinct creations of themselves- I've seen the LEAST amount of mpreg in MDZS#(desite the fact that WWX would LOVE that!)#Now why is that? let's think about it#hmm. Well‚ since they already have the juniors‚ a lot less people are making up new kids- and therefore requiring mpreg#or they're taking advantage of characters like Xue Yang who could've used a good dad or two.#very interesting!#but don't worry! this analysis is not confined to the MXTX fandom!#you ever look at how the fandom for The Song of Achilles (TSOA) reflects its books?#First of all they've got some AMAZING art#and the book has amazing descriptions#and‚ interestingly‚ this fandom has unusually well-divided attention among the parts of the book#which reflects a very nice significance everything seemed to have when I read them#we also have a majority of popular AUs that are “they're happy now fuck you‚” my favorite being them adopting Hyacinthus#and honestly? the book wanted them to be happy too#you could feel it#anyway I love analyzing shit and I will never run out of victims#analysis#fandom#mxtx#mdzs#svsss#tgcf#tsoa#ramblings
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Hello, me again.
Thx for answering :)
I guess Zhongli really is a catch in the eyes of everyone, and no one really knows Childe. So maybe they wouldn't get what Zhongli sees in Childe. At least not at first. Maybe we'll get to see more of his badass side later on? I'm also curious if he got some powers from Skirk and the Abyss.
Anyway, their relationship is really cute and developing nicely.
Looks like I mixed up some of Guizhongs and Hu Taos actions ^^"
as another ask just said, there is sort of like a jessica and roger rabbit situation going on there from the eyes of everyone else. like you said, nobody really knows childe here, so for everyone to consider zhongli liking him (zhongli, legendary thaumaturge, certified gentleman, gorgeous man) is kinda like ????? out of left field hahah
i think if they stop to think about it the folks close to them would kinda get it but still be confused. like- you like childe? ...i mean yeah i guess he's very nice. he's also pretty. and yeah he's very generous and kind. and he cares a lot about the kids and he's very good w them. and he gets along with like everyone if you give him some time- ok yeah i can see it. yeah nevermind i get it.
(whereas when they realize childe likes zhongli the reaction is an immediate "of course you would")
#like if they stop to think about it for a second they Get It but also is like#they're on different leagues in everyone's eyes#so it's less that there's nothing immediately evident to love childe for#but more that zhongli is so absurdly good a catch (to them) that childe still being a good option doesn't seem like it would be up to par#if that makes any sense#yknow like how people irl kinda go 'huh' when a really hot person dates a cute but-not-as-hot person#there's no judgement there's no disbelief just a brief 'huh' moment#and maybe some confusion yeah#i think that's kind of what's happening here#like everyone agrees that childe is pretty it's just that he doesn't have the immediately attractive personality to match so they just#forget lmaooo#also since they're all his friends now and their friendship revolves around making fun of him#anyway#yeah!#thank you <3 <3#no worries about guizhong and hu tao; death of the author and all
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You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
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Went from disliking Shikamaru, to liking him to loving him once again lol. His friendship with Chouji is so good <3
#Ino gave Chouji a speech that she was on a diet because boys like skinny girls#and that he should eat less and work out more because otherwise girls won't like him#and after she left Shikamaru insisted that he shouldn't worry about what other people think#''you should just be you#it's stupid to talk about all the things that you're not#just live your life - eat your food and take things easy''#reliving 2013#also: thank god Chouji's voice got less annoying since his first appearance#I was worried#I love himmm I don't want to be annoyed by him all the time!
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Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.
#Don't worry. I made an excel document for this over a year ago#Was that unhinged? Yeah. But this is harder than you think it is#In unrelated news it is now reasonable to have a child in your 20s 30s or 40s depending on when the plot needs the child#Also people in their early 20s can be in grad school have already established careers and adopt children now. I've declared it.#Also: Hollywood stop trying to trick me into believing women in their 30s are the same age as men in their 50s. It's never gonna work.#I'm fighting for my life to make these age gaps normal even on a platonic level#Don't worry I aged the girls up and the boys down#But still this is a bit ridiculous#If you use the actors' ages it doesn't work. Garrison's actress is 16 years younger than Curtain. Why?#I mean I like the casting. But SQ is a teenager. We know Curtain has had his evil plans at least since SQ was born and lost his bio dad#and if the Whisperer is Garrison's invention that means she and Curtain were working together when SQ was born#If SQ in the show is 16 (the actor was older I believe) and Garrison is 37 (that's how old the actress is now she was younger at time)#That means Garrison was only 21 and Curtain was well into his 30s. And that's after you age SQ down and Garrison up for the calculations#So Garrison was likely (according to the shows' casting) even younger than that which begs the question what was Curtain doing?#Was he spending his 30s lurking around college campuses and high schools looking for a kid whose inventions he could steal?#What in the Marcus Cutter is that about?#All these jokes about Garrison being SQ's uninvolved divorced stepmom but nah she's really his estranged big sister#also this is very frustrating because the irl age gap between the actress who plays Number Two and Tony Hale only 7 years#but they're the ones for whom a 16 year age gap would have actually made sense because he adopts her in the books!#but now since Garrison is clearly so much younger than Number Two Curtain and Benedict I have to deal with this#(Don't worry I figured it out and made the age gaps normal. You just now have to believe Number Two is only a year older than Garrison)#It was the stress of living with her family that aged her and Garrison just looks naturally super young that's what we're going with.#And don't get me wrong:#I do like the actresses and actors they casted they're great but sometimes I google the ages and I'm like oh you cannot be serious#But we've (more or less) figured it out#Rant over#writing#writing struggles#tmbs
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Been doing a bunch of cleanup + maintenance on my laptop for the past few days and it makes me so happy lolol. I just like seeing her all cleaned up and getting to brush the dust outta her. Its fun and i'd bet it makes her feel a lot better than she was...
I also had a new SSD come in for her today that a friend helped me install so she also has more space! plus after moving her files over/cleaning up some apps i don't use it feels like she's running a bit quicker now (that could just be the new drive tho) <3<3<3
#ramblings#objectum#techum#mayhaps i should post about her more? idk. if people like hearing me talk abt maintaining her.#(which i only rlly worry abt since she's a slightly older gaming laptop i refuse to let go of)#Her name is Stevie and she's where i play most of my games and do my drawing/editing. i love her dearly.#she also glows bright green which is fun.#and tries to keep me up (sometimes) by flipping her ext. mouse lights on. which is less fun (but cute.)
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me when i meet with my colleges first out trans teacher who is like a celebrity with me after one of my teachers puts me in contact with her again (i had interviewed said trans teacher 4 years prior and hadnt met with her since) and she tells me tjat my teacher had so many positive things to say about me, about how i was one of her brightest most well spoken students and that she (within like 5 minutes of having been talking) immediately sees exactly what my professor had been talking about and so many super implied positives about me that i would never had known about and i dod everything in my power to avoid prying for more details but even what i heard was soso nicies
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#iwillspeakincessantly#god it felt so nice to meet with her again#talking woth someone whos been so influential at my school and the whole state as far as transgender and queer policy making and has#so many connections amd experience and is also trans and historically a teacher bfor she retired#genuinely makes me feel so much better about my life and where im going#and less worried about if ill ever be able to live a peaceful life as a trans twacher when she personally knows#multiple other transmen tbats shes taught who are now teaching IN MY STATE#safely and happily#ough#we said wed meet more in the future and she encouraged me to join the cities pride group that she had founded and is the head of#and maybe tjis time ill actjally go#she even gifted me a book that she had had that she thinks would give me solace and comfort in my life#tbat was also written by a trans man sinxe she thinks im easily intelligent enough to get the humor and referwnces in#god she said i was well spoken and articulated even tho i feel so stupid and inarticulate sometimes#since i ramble a lot and lose my thoughts and i feel like my speaking vocabulary is so lowbrow and cheap often#no matter how many times other peope say i always sound so intelligent when i speak#ARGH#been super steessed about a lot of things in my life and if ill make it out alive but just this short hour and a half convo over a food#has made me feel so mich better and happier and hopeful#argh argh ougj i love finding out that people talk immense amount of positive things about me#god#i was rlaking about how often i struggle woth socializing amd making friends and she aas like really? ive been having a wondefful time#walkimg with you youre so intelligent and well spoken and its like thank you my issues ckme from group settings#and unclear un familiar subjects and ettiqutes of my fellow youths#but it made me feel so good about myself#im gonna implode :333333 positive
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How goes the fma x albedo fic? I hope that doesn't sound pushy, I'm genuinely curious. And in that vein, do you have any little drabbles you may have written or want to write? Especially with your recent kny ocs/yourself and your siblings. That'd be super fun to read about! Your art AND your writing is so freaking good, the moment I see you've posted something new on your blog I'm clicking it so fast. Same with your ao3 account ❤️
Thank you for the kind words!!! Currently not working on any fics, since I just came out of 10 weeks of summer research where my days began at 8 am and ended at 9 pm for probably less than minimum wage hahaha (doing research is a Bit Sad but I get a whole month to relax before classes start again so thank goodness for that)
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I do however!!! Have a lot of plans!!! If you’re interested you can read more below!
Plans include but are not limited to:
Finally working on Homuncular Nature again!! I definitely do have a lot of plans and cool scenes playing out in my head for the next chapter, it’ll just come down to when I actually put pen to paper (or stylus to iPad) to actually organize and write them all. The road block I think is that I have seen neither Albedo nor fmab very recently and all my concrete ideas are for around the 30 episode mark for fmab, the turning point with the first actual confrontation against father and the subsequent Briggs arc.
Rewriting Ten Thousand Maple Leaves! A lot of people have been very kind but I think I missed the mark with my first chapter to be honest. My writing has gotten a lot wordier and less succinct, which feels like I’m filling a chapter more with fluff and unnecessary description than actual content. I think I also dislike how I characterized Sanemi and how quickly Kazuha was willing to agree with things. Writing both of them is kind of a difficult challenge tbh! I think in rewriting it I want to give back to Kazuha more of his vagrant role in the games, where he is avoiding the law for reasons somewhat out of his control.
Ebisu siblings content! I think it might be fun to try having them interact with more of the canon characters in kny but I also think there’s some value in a complete sort of outsider point of view when inserting characters into a piece of media. I feel like whenever I see self inserts I see a lot of ocs making themselves indispensable and making meaningful relationships with existing characters that way and that’s totally valid! That’s a lot of what I do for crossovers as well. I think when it comes to my own ocs though, I want them to feel grounded in some form and the reality of it is that none of the characters I make based on myself or real people are that impressive or remarkable. But I also think there’s a lot of value in showing smaller scale things outside of the main interactions and plot to show that even though we aren’t remarkable, we still have our own meaningful connections and ideologies and stories :) in the end the Ebisu siblings are a lot more visual though so I may just continue making doodles and art without writing anything haha
Kirby & Meta Knight ageswap AU: I was mostly doing this on my ask-gikabi sideblog in short form comics, but I lost sight of what I wanted to do after making the discord and starting to interact with some of the people who followed it. I think a lot of people are inspired and have their own very cool ideas that I wanted to take into account but then eventually it was no longer my story or the story I wanted to tell, which is why I’m thinking of restarting it as a fic. This one is still in very rough idea stage though, I have honestly no clue how I’m even going to begin organizing it
Yanfei ace attorney crossover: this one’s just pure crack lmao I would definitely write it as crack taken seriously but I think this is fun to explore just for small ideas that pop up every now and then, i.e. yanfei is semi-immortal because she’s half adeptus so it would be Really Funny to me if she showed up in dgs era, got her attorney’s license, went into hiding after it became obvious that she wasn’t aging, and then re-emerged after rebranding herself as her own daughter or granddaughter. That, and I have a lot of fun imagining someone as pragmatic as yanfei trying to get through the sheer chaos of aa despite being otherworldly
Continuing winter weather advisory: I got to a really good point in that fic and was rereading it today like,,, damn I wrote that? And it would be fun to see where I planned on going with it so I do want to also try working on that a bit if I can
Kazuha & Kunikuzushi role swap au: this is something I posted about a Long While ago but it’s an idea I continue to be fascinated with :) I especially enjoy how these two characters could have had completely different roles and personalities depending on how their pasts happened (with wanderer being so nice and turning so bitter and kazuha growing up so spoiled (for lack of a better word) and turning out so weary and yet kind
Link click and mha crossover: this one is honestly just a very recent idea but I think it would be fun to make a drabble on how lightime photo studio would be able to continue operating even in another world and the trouble they might get into for illegal quirk usage and what using cheng xiaoshi’s powers in a world where being able to tell the future is canonically possible would entail
I have!! So many ideas!! And not enough time or motivation to actually write any of them most of the time :’)
But I’m very glad to hear that you enjoy them and look forward to my posts!! :D I really hope I can work on some of these over the last month of summer vacation that I have :)
#to this day I still get kind of freaked out when people compliment both my art and my writing#like wow!! thank you so much!!!!!! the art compliments I expect because I’ve been pretty bloated in my opinion on my own art since childhood#but the writing always comes as a surprise!#especially when people are like ‘oh I found you through your writing and found out your art is also good’ like WHAT#if anything I’m much more likely to be found for my art I feel like!!!#but thank you fr#people telling me my writing is actually good has done wonders for my confidence in classes for writing essays and such#and it really shows because when I’m less worried about how good my writing is and trying to make it sound good I get to devote a lot more#time and energy towards planning and figuring out ideas for what I want to write and my past few essays in humanities classes have done grea
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Ok so for about a good two-three months now I had a post in my drafts about how I realized I ship Powser, and long story short I started comparing Bowser to what I think to be how most villains in media interact with their damsel in distress if they express “love” for them. Issue is, I don’t have nearly enough knowledge/examples on this topic to know how truthful this comparison is, but said comparison is also the main thing tying this post together. So when thinking of ways to remove this element while still having all the same info in this post, I kind of came up short. Plus, I like the way the post is structured as is.
In other words, here’s the post as I originally wrote it, but be aware that the comparison is probably very flawed. Maybe there’s some truth to it, probably not. In any case, just focus on the Powser side of it, the villain comparison is just there for the structure. Enjoy! (long post ahead, a bit over 3k words)
So I recently realized that I really like Powser which I did NOT expect given I’m usually much more of a “friends to lovers” type of person, and trying to understand why I like it led me to think about how villains tend to be presented in their relationship with the “damsel in distress”, and it’s actually very interesting when you compare it to Bowser.
TL;DR: Unlike most villains who showcase sexual attraction (I think?), Bowser is shown to be romantically attracted to Peach. And while his actions are still very much shitty and should be seen as such, man is he adorable sometimes ! Plus, the way his feelings are shown to be genuine makes him look better than most villains, whose “love” for their victim is portrayed as """creepy lust""" by their medias.
(Obviously there is absolutely nothing inherently wrong with sexual attraction. I’m talking in the context of medias that sometimes tend to vilify it, especially when it comes to the antagonists, hence the language used in this post.)
So the first thing that came in mind while thinking of other villains was Dis//ney’s Alad//din (the 90s/animated one) and how Jaf/ar treats Jasm/ine at the end of the movie, more specifically when he wishes for her to fall in love with him and she ends up pretending to be as a distraction.
Thing is, Jasm/ine doesn’t act like she’s in love with Jaf/ar, she acts like she’s thirsting for him, and the way Jaf/ar reacts shows that this is pretty much what he had in mind when saying he wants her to love him. This isn’t love, it’s lust.
Now, I can’t say I’m someone who watches a lot of movies, especially not live-actions ones, so take what I’m about to say with a huge grain of salt. Basically, I kinda feel like what we see in Alad/din is the norm when it comes to villain/victim relationships? Like you have those antagonists who want the damsel in distress to be horny for them, who don’t see those women as people and don’t give a shit about them, only keeping them to get what they want out of them and having no issue discarding them afterwards if they get bored with those poor girls.
Btw that’s not to say that every single villain who kidnaps someone wants to sleep with them. But when it comes to villains who claim to love their victim, there does seem to be at least some sexual tension here, or at least some uncomfortable touches.
And then there’s Bowser. To give a few examples of what he does:
- In that one 1986 anime movie thing, he gets very soft around Peach, gushing about how he’s in love with her and wants to marry her, trying to cheer her up when she’s sad, and let’s not forget that “it’s more of a bracelet, shows that my love is bigger” line with the ring.
- In the mainline “platformers” games, you have “Mario Sunshine” in which Bowser wants his son to have a mother, and “Mario Odyssey” in which he tries to marry Peach, going around the world gathering all the absolute best things for the wedding. There’s also the New Bros U intro with Bowser gently moving Peach’s chair, making sure she doesn’t get hurt by his attack, showing he doesn’t want to hurt her.
- Not sure exactly if this counts as this could be a form of objectification, but you know that cliché of villains getting that all-powerful thing they wanted and immediately betraying/discarding all the people they worked with and/or claimed to love? Well, in the Galaxy games, Bowser gets the power to create a whole new universe, and yet still takes the time to capture Peach, claiming in the first game that he wants her to rule along with him. Again, this could be a form of objectification, especially when looking at his dialogue in the intro of the second game, but it’s still interesting how Bowser doesn’t really fall on that trope, still having his army and Junior on top of Peach (btw the intro of Galaxy 2 is very funny on that front because Bowser literally has enormous powers and yet still makes a detour for Peach, thus causing Mario to be on his tail. Like, let her go dude, she’s not that into you. You got all the powers of the universe, who cares about that one specific woman when you could have literally anybody else?).
- In the first Paper Mario game, Bowser tells Peach that he would fulfill her wishes if she wants (as long as he likes them) and gushes in his diary about how he hopes Peach likes him. And in Thousand Years Doors, he keeps trying to look for her upon hearing she got kidnapped.
- In Super Paper Mario, he gets overjoyed about the wedding but still immediately shows worry for Peach when Nastasia uses her mind control on her, and in general Bowser spends the game clearly loving being able to call Peach his wife, and joins the team again in 7-2 out of concern for her safety. Same with 8-1 where for all he knows he’s about to die and yet his main concern is her safety, to the point where he's willing to ask Mario to protect her for him. His priority is not being with Peach, instead it's Peach being safe.
- In Color Splash, the first thing he does when first getting back to himself during the fight is ask if Mario brought Peach with him.
- In Origami King, he doesn’t want her to see him as a wet floor sign and later asks Olly if Peach is safe and comfortable, which as I’ve seen pointed out implies that him capturing Peach is mostly a forced vacation/sleepover until Mario arrives and she’s put on the spot for show.
(- In general Paper Bowser is a huge hopeless romantic, at least from what I’ve seen of him.)
- In Superstar Saga he helps Mario and Luigi reach the Bean Kingdom for Peach’s sake. Then in Bowser’s Inside Story his most beloved and protected memories are his memories of Peach + he makes saving her his priority towards the end. And in Dream Team, he hears a rumor that Peach might have gotten kidnaped and immediately flies all the way to Pi’illo Island to find her.
- You cannot convince me that his car in Mario 3D World wasn’t an attempt to impress Peach, given this is one of the only two games (three with Wonder) where you play as her and face against him. /hj
- In that one old comic people kept bringing up after the movie came out, Bowser spends a lot of time gushing about marrying Peach. Also despite Peach being very temperamental in this comic, I don’t think Bowser once tries to hurt her? Obviously you have the Magikoopa brainwashing her at the end which is fucked up but outside of that does Bowser ever get angry or menacing when it comes to her?
- In general, outside of the games where Peach is playable and the intro of Inside Story (which comes off as OOC for Bowser tbh, I get him being pissed off but him trying to burn Peach is just really off), do we ever get to see Bowser raise a hand on her and/or try to physically hurt her? Same for his anger, how often do we get to see him raise his voice on her? And no the sports and party games don’t count since everyone is doing the same thing to everyone else in those, and in the party games it'd be unfair if playing that one character led to Bowser going easy on the player.
Now I might be missing some more moments, especially since I’m far from the most knowledgeable on the sport/party games and some RPGs (slowly making my way through them), but there’s one thing that is very obvious: while most villains express sexual attraction for the damsel in distress, Bowser expresses romantic attraction.
Bowser genuinely cares for Peach. She’s one of his most precious memories. In Super Paper, he snaps out of the joy of getting married when Peach is getting brainwashed, showing how much he values her safety. He absolutely adores her and isn’t afraid to express it, especially Paper Bowser.
Those two instances (Inside story and Super Paper) especially really seem to lean into how much Bowser loves Peach. In Inside Story, the fact that she’s his most well-preserved memory shows just how much he values the little time he spends with her and how important she is to him, not as some pretty face but as a person he genuinely wants to create more memories with. And in Super Paper, Bleck is giving him the one thing he’s always wanted, and yet he still shows some reticence when Nastasia uses her mind control, making it look like Peach being safe and sound is more important to him than them being a couple. Idk, those two moments just really get to me when you think about it this way.
(Btw in Super Paper I adore that Peach hesitates to leave him in 8-1 because, while we know Peach is incredibly kind so of course she’d be worried for a teammate, for once it feels like Bowser actually earned it. He spends the whole game being caring towards Peach, and wouldn’t you know, being nice and respectful to someone actually makes them care for you! I swear the Powser potential from this game is unmatched!)
When most villains say “I want this woman to love me”, they usually mean “I want this woman to obey and submit to my every want”. When Bowser says “I want Peach to love me”, he means “I want to be able to wake up everyday by her side, make her smile and laugh and be happy, see her be a mother to my kid(s), learn more about her and spend as much time with her as I can”. Bowser isn’t trying to marry Peach because he wants to “own” her, he wants to marry her because he quite literally wants to spend the rest of his life by her side.
Now that’s not to say that Bowser doesn’t feel any form of sexual attraction. But since Mario is such a kids-friendly franchise, the focus is much more on his romantic feelings. Also, I'll admit, whether Bowser is in love with Peach or with the idea of Peach is up for debate.
I think that’s the main reason why so many people are quick to call Bowser sweet/adorable when seeing the way he talks about Peach. Because the thing is, Bowser is still being a complete asshole here. He’s constantly kidnapping her, putting her in a cage on several occasions, forced her to marry him like 6 different times, very often disregards her body autonomy by grabbing her (+ the kidnappings), terrorizes and sometimes even tortures/kills her people, and his phone pic in the parental controls video + the picture frames in Nintendo World make him look like a creep. Despite his feelings for her, there’s definitely a level of objectification here that should not be ignored.
Hell, I didn’t mention the 2023 movie on the list because I’d argue he was more obsessed rather than in love. Plus the scene where he proposes to her low-key feels like the very first time they meet, making his previous actions creepier (or at the very least they barely know each other, heck Peach didn’t even know Bowser likes her!). And he’s quick to use blackmail and violence against her, especially in the end. The wedding cake toppers also show he cares more about himself than Peach and sees her as an object rather than a person.
(I actually take back what I said in my movie reaction post about Bowser being like the one from Super Paper. He might be goofy when showing his softer side, which was what I was focused on when comparing the two, but he’s also clearly not as genuine and sweet as Paper Bowser. The way he mistreats his army and especially Kamek in the movie is also different from most games, most notably the RPGs since that’s when we see him interact with his people and he’s a relatively good king to them.)
Compare 2023 Movie Bowser to the 1986 movie in which he tries to get Peach involved in the wedding preparations, tries to cheer her up, never gets angry at her despite how much she’s resisting him and never once raises his hand on her. Even when she outsmarts him by making him shapeshift, he’s amused by her attempt. Literally the worse he does in this movie is grab her against her will on many occasions (and obviously the kidnaping and forced marriage, that goes without saying).
Going back on topic, despite Bowser being very much horrible in the way he approaches Peach, since every other villain out there is lusting after the woman they capture, making them appear creepy/predatory, Bowser comes off as an angel in comparison. He’s one of those rare cases of a villain who is truly sincere about his feelings for the woman he captures, and since we see other occasions of him being a sweetheart (with Junior) and a dumbass (the RPG series), he becomes an incredibly endearing character. So his feelings for Peach come off as adorable despite the bad elements because we’re aware he has a soft side so we know he’s truly sincere. Him being sometimes more of an antihero in the RPGs + his inclusion in sports games and the like probably also help seeing him in that good light.
(Also yes I’m very much aware that there’s a huge issue when it comes to how fandoms perceive female characters, and I will absolutely believe you if you tell me this is one of the reasons why you have people who talk shit about Peach so much all while defending Bowser’s actions, especially since his feelings for Peach are so rooted into his character. Oh and obviously you have the people horny for Bowser who love his softer/romantic side and value the moments where he displays this part of himself, that goes without saying.)
I’m especially surprised by the 1986 movie showing such a characterization of him, considering it came out 1-2 years after the very first Super Mario game (aka Bowser’s first appearance, at least I think?). Like imagine making a movie about those characters and going “hey you know the giant turtle monster we fight in this game? What if he was a huge lovable dork who just wanted some love in his life?”. Tbh I adore that choice.
Overall, it’s just interesting to see how Bowser differs from other villains on that front. It’s very interesting to see a villain who does pretty terrible things to a girl all the while being genuine in his feelings for her, idk it’s a very cool contrast. I also like how “true love” tends to be a motivation for the heroes, seen as something good, so it’s fun to see stories where villains have that very same motivation without it being “““twisted””” with lust. And yes I know that last point applies to many more antagonists than just Bowser, and not just for feelings like love.
And a bit off-topic but I also really like how you can easily explain Bowser’s behavior here (not justifying it tho!!!). In the Yoshi Island games, we see he was raised as a spoiled brat who was always given what he wanted, made worse by him being a monarch. We even still see some of that behavior in his adult self, for example when he gets angry and starts stomping his foot like a kid throwing a tantrum.
As a result of his upbringing, Bowser likely just doesn’t know how to take a no. He’s used to always get what he wants, and take it by force if necessary. So when Peach refuses him, he does just that, incapable of understanding why she doesn’t want him.
The 86 movie is actually an excellent example of this. In two scenes (the one with Peach outsmarting him and the ring dialogue) we see Bowser getting worked up when Peach is upset, showing he genuinely wants her to be happy. But at the same time he’s incapable of realizing that he’s the reason why she’s so upset and the one thing he should do is let her go. The ring scene especially shows it very well. When Peach throws the ring and starts crying because she doesn’t want to get married, Bowser thinks she’s upset due to the ring being too big and immediately tries to soothe her by promising to get a better ring. Again, it’s kinda crazy how this movie was made when Bowser only existed for a single year and yet they already made him genuinely in love with Peach.
I’d also add that Bowser seems to have a pretty high opinion of himself, thinking he’s awesome and shit (or maybe he’s overcompensating, that seems like a possibility). As a result, it’s possible that his mentality on the situation is “Well I’m in love with her so surely she must love me! How could she not?”, making it even harder for him to comprehend why she doesn’t love him.
Again, it doesn’t justify his actions in the slightest but it’s still interesting how you can somewhat understand why he’s like this.
And as to why I ship Powser, honestly I still have no idea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think it has to do with the storytelling potential of a unrequited love/it’s complicated/they have history situation in regards to their roles as monarchs, especially in the case of Peach whose character is brimming with untapped potential. I actually like to describe their relationship as “I hate the effect you have on my life but I couldn’t imagine a life without you in it” or “Our kingdoms are enemies for a good reason but if anything happened to you I’d rush in to save you without hesitation”. It's just that idea of them being ex-lovers who had a bad falling out and how Peach still cares about him to an extent and how their lives constantly intertwine with villains trying to take over their kingdoms + Bowser's kidnappings.
And since we’re talking Powser and since wondering whether they know each other or not in the movie got me to question how we can tell they know each other in the games: the best way I could describe their relationship in the games is familiar/”comfortable”, like you have the way Peach tries to convince Bowser to join the group in Super Paper, the way she talks about him in general in the Mario and Luigi games, or stuff like most cutscenes in Odyssey where she never seems afraid of Bowser.
I’ve also seen that Switch Tennis game with the evil racket and how Peach is the one who tries to get through to Bowser when he steals it, straight up saying “listen to me” which makes it seem like she knows she’s the one person who could get him to stop, or you have the first Rabbids game where she comments on how “Junior is sometimes even worse than his father”, plus the way she looks like a mother about to reprimand her child in the cutscene where Jr learns Bowser is coming home (which I find hilarious; lady that’s not your kid, I thought we’d been through this already in Sunshine!). Oh and CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE WAY SHE’S LOOKING AT HIM IN (spoilers in link) THAT CUTSCENE FROM THE NEW RABBIDS 2 DLC!!!
I don’t know how to fully explain but, looking at these kinds of interactions, you can tell that the two of them know each other, and to an extent Peach knows that Bowser won’t hurt her, hence why she’s not afraid to oppose him. It’s pretty funny actually how in the games Peach tends to be exasperated by Bowser more than anything else. Like he’s not a menace, just a weekly annoyance. And again, when you compare it to the movie where there’s only hostility and awkwardness between them, you do get the impression that they’re two complete strangers meeting for the first time. The fact Movie Peach had no idea about his feelings for her doesn’t help either. Then again, about the hostility, Peach in the games is much sweeter so maybe she shows a nicer side to Bowser because that’s just who she is.
#Powser#Bowser X Peach#Princess Peach#Bowser#Super Mario#Flor talks#long post#looking at the ending of that post you can tell this was written shortly after the Rabbids DLC 2 came out#But yeah; as said in the intro I'm really not sure if the comparison to other villains#and what it entails in how Bowser is seen by the general public is actually a good take; I don't think it is#but also I like how this post is overall written#all in all; that post is just an excuse to gush about Powser; so please don't take the 'analysis' part of it too seriously#btw yes I saw the Wonder animation and love it; pretty funny how powser will never be canon yet Nintendo keeps giving us content#(not that I'm complaining; quite the opposite)#also it feeds my hc that Bowser would LOVE a chubby Peach bc big=healthy in Koopa's eyes since turtles have thick limbs#also also it's pretty funny how I'm worried that Peach being less kidnapped=Bowser's crush slowly disappearing#but then Nintendo keeps proving me wrong by showing that; kidnapped or not; his crush isn't going anywhere; and I'm very happy about it#in other news I'm going to star putting the number of words in my longer posts so people know what they're getting into#also might put the read more earlier to make sure the whole post isn't opened when trying to see the rest of the intro
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