#and also not with the focus on being a ''failed'' performer of gender roles or as a punishment or humiliation

[opossumgirltongue]

fucked up having such niche kinks . like what do you expect me to do , make it myself ?

[piastrixpole]

vi. australia

pairing: logan sargeant x fem!oc (daisy shaw)

genre: written

based on the 2023 season

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There's no privacy in the world of formula 1. It took Daisy a long time and truthfully she still hadn't fully accepted the loss of being able to keep some aspects of her life out of the public eye. The invasion into the driver's every move in the modern era affected the whole grid of course but some were less of a target to the media.

Naturally the really famous names like Max and Lewis and those with a huge social media following were constantly under surveillance but there was also an additional focus on the minority drivers. It felt wrong for Daisy to group herself with Lewis, Zhou and Yuki because the struggles they all went through were very different but they each faced scrutiny from yet another lens.

Regardless, they were all noticeable figures who stood out amongst the rest of the grid. There was no confusing Daisy for anyone else. Not when there were pictures of her plastered all around the track and a freakishly large number of cardboard cut-outs of her head in the crowd.

So when Stella called ahead warning her that there was going to be members of the Netflix team in their garage for the race to follow Daniel, naturally she was fuming. She could just about handle the overwhelming walk in to the paddock but to know that their garage, a place where she normally felt at home was being invaded with cameras for the weekend made her want to scream.

Normally the paddock walk and meeting any fans who were waiting in the area didn't take too long. Daisy was without fail the first driver to arrive at the track so she was usually there before the massive crowds gathered to catch a glimpse of them. The last thing she wanted to deal with when she was stressed was the thousands of eyes on her and getting stopped every two seconds by someone.

She appreciated the support and always made a point of meeting as many fans as she could earlier in the week or after the race but she was so on edge and jittery with the pressure to perform on race day that she knew she needed to be alone.

There was no chance of slipping under the radar this time though. Not when it was her teammate's home race and the team wanted them to go together to present a united front, as if the fucking power of friendship was going to lead to a double podium for them.

Daisy literally couldn't imagine a worse situation to be in. Well, that's an exaggeration - she definitely could but this was a nightmare for an introvert who needed to isolate in a little ball in her driver's room to get in the right headspace. She had Stella and Mila for moral support but they were trailing behind her and Daniel and joining them would only earn her an earful from PR later and the joy of third-wheeling her friends, who she absolutely loved, but could think of nothing worse than being stuck heading their sickeningly sweet affection for one another.

Amidst the brunt of the attention being focused on Daniel , Daisy did her best to keep a bright smile firmly etched to her features hoping that her anxieties weren't seeping through and souring it unintentionally. She played the part expected of her rather well. Pose for pictures, sign whatever merch was thrusted her way, stop and chat to the fans eager to get her attention. React, react, react. It was all about giving people what they wanted and after a while it became robotic to her.

One thing that she couldn't feign neutrality towards though were the admittedly adorable young girls who were literally beaming brighter than the sun at her. Daisy had never wanted to be a role model nor had she ever made an attempt to be one by conventional standards and while she preferred to just let her racing speak for itself and leave her gender out of the conversation entirely, interactions like these did make her proud to be in the sport and promoting equality even if she viewed it as a distraction from her racing most of the time.

A young blonde girl who couldn't have been older than eight caught her eye in the crowd, her face lit up with excitement as she tugged at who Daisy presumed to be her parent's hands, eager to get closer. Before Daisy knew it the young girl had broke free from their grasp and was darting towards her and under the fencing separating them. Out of the corner of her eye Daisy saw security instantly heading over to escort her back to her parents but Daisy shook her head "she's alright."

Kneeling down to the young girl's level Daisy gave her a radiant smile. Or at least she hoped it was. She wanted this to be a memorable experience for her. "Hey sweetheart! What's your name?" she asked, keeping her voice warm and gentle.

"I'm Rosie," she exclaimed, shyly lifting the black and gold Porsche cap with Daisy's driver number off her head and tentatively passing it to her "you're my favourite driver, can you sign it please!"

Daisy had a soft spot for her young fans even if the thought of being someone's idol when she was far from perfect was a nauseating thought. "Rosie.." she gasped playfully "you're a flower just like me! That must mean you're super fast too."

Rosie giggled as Daisy signed her cap with a flourish and drew a little daisy and rose beside her signature and the sight of her wide eyes left her heart swelling with affection. "I want to race just like you when I grow up."

"Well Rosie, I'm going to tell you a secret ok," and at the eager nod she got from the young girl Daisy chuckled and continued "if you work hard, you'll beat all those boys and then maybe one day I'll see you on the race track. Don't give up on your dream."

"Really?" Rosie looked at her in awe.

"Really," Daisy repeated "you just promise me to believe and trust in yourself because I know you're going to be amazing, ok?"

"I promise," Rosie giggled with happiness "can I get my mum to take a picture to show my friends?"

Even though Daisy could see the team were getting impatient waiting for her to finish this interaction so they could keep moving she agreed and security guided her mum closer to the front of the crowd.

"Thank you so much for this," she gushed to Daisy "she's such a big fan you know, she never shuts up about you."

"Of course," Daisy smiled as she posed with Rosie and the pictures were taken "it's my pleasure."

With a final hug and the satisfaction of making Rosie's day she watched as she rejoined her mum and gave a big wave in their direction before she had to continue the walk into the paddock. Daniel had surprisingly hung back as well, likely having stopped to play hometown hero (even if that was really Oscar) chatting away while Daisy had been talking to Rosie.

"You know for someone who's pretty insistent on not wanting to be made into a role model for inspiring young drivers you have a real talent for it," he pointed out as they strolled up towards the entrance.

He was right. Daisy did make a point to stop and devote her time to interactions like that but she preferred to keep moments such as them close to her, to not have them be used to make her into some media darling because that just wasn't her. The softer side of her public image was reserved strictly for her fans. "Well I'm no Daniel Avocado," she remarked, referencing the viral clip of her teammates name being mistaken "but I just like to see them smile, simple as."

When her signing with Porsche had been announced nearly two years ago now Daisy remembered being torn to shreds in the media. There had of course been rumours of her joining the new team but apparently most of the racing world had never seen her before and had been envisioning someone petite and more girly in appearance. They definitely hadn't been expecting Daisy in all her 'tough exterior.' It had been laughable after a while, people claiming that her tattoos and piercings weren't professional but it being completely fine when other drivers did the same.

"Not very raincloud of you," he teased her.

Daisy smirked in response "I'd argue that it is actually. Soaking up all the negativity and giving them hope."

Nodding in agreement he whistled "true, true."

With the end of being a spectacle in sight as the Porsche garage loomed in the distance Daisy felt herself relaxing. The track was where she was meant to be and there wasn't long to wait until she had the thrill of clawing her way around the circuit again.

Albert Park was a tricky circuit to race, last year had been Daisy's first experience on the Australian track and it had unfortunately been the first of her two DNFs that season. That had been a tough pill to swallow for Daisy after the high of scoring points in her second ever race. Especially when the reason she couldn't finish was an issue with her engine, something that she couldn't have controlled no matter how badly she wanted to.

This time however, things were gearing up to be more optimistic. It seemed that the odds were in her favour this year as she had somehow gone on a rampage the previous day in qualifying and ended up on the front row. Second to only Max. It was her highest ever starting position and her first time making it to the front row so Daisy had been overjoyed. Considering how far ahead redbull were as well, she was basically first.

It hadn't been an overly surprising qualifying session. Apart from Perez having to start from the pitlane putting him at what would be a serious disadvantage if he was in any other car. Mercedes had been a bit of a shock too. Lewis and George had somehow pulled a P3 and P4 start out of the car so they'd be starting ahead of the Aston Martin duo later. Daniel had ended in P7 yesterday so he was separated from Daisy by those two teams.

The only downside was the fact that she still had to make it through the driver's parade. In theory it wasn't a big deal and it's not as though it was difficult, just stand there and look pretty Daisy. In reality though it was eerily reminiscent of the times on primary school field trips where they'd all been loaded up on the bus and made pick a seat only to be rejected by most. Similar politics were applicable here. Daisy hated being one of the last to board the truck because it meant she stuck out like a sore thumb, not really having a solid little friend group amongst the drivers - just a few who she could manage talking to one on one.

And with luck notoriously not on her side what did she find when she finally went to join the group? That she was last. Leaving her with no choice but to take the empty spot next to as fate would have it, Logan. Hesitating for a moment, she exchanged a brief nod with Logan before she had to climb up and take her place. Then in an unexpected move, he extended a hand to help her up the rather steep gap between them and the ground.

Logan Sargeant truly was a puzzle in Daisy's eyes. Appearance wise and she meant this in the nicest way possible he was the epitome of an all American frat boy who'd somehow ended up in Europe. Basically everything about her first impression of him had screamed red flag and she had been a bit pre-emptive in assuming that he would be a dickhead.

He'd really thrown her for a loop though because from what she had observed the last two races he seemed to be the complete opposite. He was quiet – and that was coming from her of all people. Like actually shy and not super comfortable talking to people he didn't know very well but it was kind of endearing? And now here he was trying to help her up onto the deceptively high truck. She presumed it was because he was still feeling guilty about their run in on the track back in Jeddah but it was still a sweet gesture. Daisy considered herself to be a good judge of character and he seemed like the type to always put the blame on himself even if it wasn't solely his fault.

Daisy accepted his hand though, uttering a quiet "thanks Logan," as she found her balance and settled into the free space beside him. One of the other rookies Oscar was on his left side.

Her stomach was turning with what she assumed to be nerves as she stole a quick glance at Logan when they started moving. There was a charm to his easy smile that she thought was cute. Inwardly, she could already anticipate the likely influx of messages from her sister's in their group chat because of that little moment. Daisy would literally bet her entire racing career on Katie having already screenshotted it or linking the clip and teasing her. And Holly was no better, she'd definitely devote the time it took for the rest of the driver's parade to pass into drafting song lyrics and teasing Daisy in her own way.

There was a discreet tension between her and Logan. Not palpable enough for the drivers around them to notice it but Daisy was still a little paranoid that they would. To ease the atmosphere between them she turned towards him and Oscar and started up a conversation and she definitely wasn't doing it just because the Australian driver had been observing them curiously when Logan had all but jumped forward to help her up.

"Bet you're happy to be here this year," Daisy gave a little smirk to Oscar with her comment. Unlike Logan, who she hadn't properly interacted with before he made it into F1, Daisy was familiar with Oscar. She had been a season ahead of the current rookies in F3 and F2 but she was able to get to know Oscar last year when he was the reserve for Alpine.

If Oscar was surprised that she was talking to him he hid it well. "This is more my colour than blue don't you think?"

Nodding along Daisy winked "of course," before adding cheekily "and you don't have to butcher the french language anymore either!"

Oscar barked out a laugh "Come on, I wasn't that bad."

Daisy merely raised an eyebrow at his claim before he was grinning and shaking his head "..ok point taken, it was pretty bad."

Logan chuckled at the back and forth, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he joined in, something which Daisy had noticed the few times she'd seen him laugh "mate don't even deny it, I wasn't on the grid and I still know it was awful."

"What is this," Oscar scoffed "gang up on Oscar day? Besides Logan, I'd like to see you do any better."

Apparently Logan took this challenge very literally because within seconds he was saying "Je suis meilleur que toi bebe," in a surprisngly good french accent.

"Show off," Oscar shook his head in amusement and gave him a playful shove.

They continued to chat and joke around and Daisy felt less anxious about the whole situation. There was nothing worse than having to stand in awkward silence by herself in these situations so it was nice that despite the pressures and expectations of the racing world - there was more to it. Friendships could exist on and off track.

She was starting on medium tires which appeared to be a popular move as all the cars surrounding her bore the same ones. Further back the grid she thought she spotted a glimpse of the hard tires but it didn't particularly worry her. Her only goal for the race was to maintain that second position by any means necessary because realistically there was no way she was miraculously getting the lead on Max at any point but she was determined to finish on the podium.

Coming to the end of the formation lap Daisy zoned in on the five lights intently. Eliminating all other distractions from her mind was essential. Especially when she was starting next to Max, the best start of her career. If she was ready she might be able to beat him into turn one and then she'd be leading a race for the first time in her career as well. The redbull's straight line speed wasn't something she was looking forward to facing but the Porsche was feeling good this year so she wasn't going to rule herself out of the fight for first yet either. Max would literally welcome the challenge as well if she could put on a good show since it had been so long since they had direct competition.

With the formation lap completed Daisy geared up for the race ahead. Her gloved hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, fingers tapping against the material with nervous anticipation. She was the epitome of concentration as she sat ready for the lights to go out. And they did slowly start to disappear, Daisy's muscles tensing in preparation and her foot barely hovering above the accelerator. The start was always crucial in races but today it was even more important. If she could pull off a successful one, there was a possibility of beating Max into that first turn and leading the race.

When the fifth light flickered out Daisy's lightning fast reflexes urge her to unleash the full power of her Porsche and she practically rocketed off the line. Her and Max were side by side as they launched forwards and Daisy's attention was firmly locked on that first corner. The redbull was edging towards the inside line but there was no way in hell Daisy was letting him take it that easy and drive off into the sunset without a fight.

To get ahead she was going to have to pull of a bold manoeuvre. Angling her Porsche with precision towards the apex she hurtled towards the turn at speed, feeling the tension mounting but she refused to back down from the challenge Max was setting down for her.

Despite the pressure he was putting on her, probably hoping that she'd back out and wouldn't want to take the risk of going wheel to wheel with him and possibly crashing out in the first turn, Daisy committed fully to her line. Inching closer to the inside she held her ground and refused to yield so much as an inch to him as they took the corner.

With a shaky heartbeat she made her move. Stealing the inside line for herself and darting ahead with a final send of her accelerator with a deft move. The thrill of the overtake sent a surge of adrenaline coursing through her veins, her heart pounding with the exhilaration of the battle.

Emerging from that corner with the advantage and Max now in her rear view mirror she set her sights on creating as much of a gap as possible between her car and him. Or at least she thought she was building a gap between them until she double checked and realised that it wasn't Max behind her, it was George.

Here we are at the Australian Grand Prix, and it's lights out, and away we go! Verstappen gets a decent start, but look at Daisy Shaw! She's made an incredible launch off the line, and she's flying down the inside into turn one! Shaw takes the lead from Verstappen! What a move! This is the first time we've seen her leading an F1 race, after starting on the front row for the first time in her career! She had a strong rookie season last year beating her more experienced teammate and it seems she's ready to take that fight to the championship leader now.

And look at George Russell! He's had a fantastic start as well and taken advantage of Shaw's move on Verstappen to also slip past the redbull and into second place. That's Verstappen down in third place now after just one corner. It's an electrifying start here in Melbourne, with Shaw leading the pack and setting the pace. Can she hold onto this lead and secure her maiden F1 victory? We'll have to wait and see.

"Daisy, Leclerc is out," Anja's voice cut through the intensity of the race "he's in the gravel at turn one after contact with Stroll. There 's a yellow flag and it will likely be a safety car but it's not confirmed yet."

Absorbing the information and keeping her focus as she continued to navigate the track Daisy couldn't help but feel sorry for Leclerc. Sure they were only three races in to the season so far but his start this year compared to last year must sting. She could feel sorry for him after the race though, as a driver she had to be selfish and she was currently leading so her brief moment of sympathy had to pass but before that, she had to ask "is he ok?"

"Affirmative," Anja replied steadily "keep an eye on Hamilton Daisy, he's looking close to overtaking Verstappen."

The last thing Daisy wanted was both Mercedes hunting her down. Even if the W14 itself wasn't much of a threat, its drivers definitely were and it was far from being the worst car on the grid. With two world champions and Russell looming in her mirrors she knew she couldn't afford to let her guard down for a moment.

"Safety car is being deployed."

"Copy that Anja," Daisy sounded calm and collected despite the fact that her heart was currently pumping with such intensity that it felt set to pierce through her ribcage.

A safety car was not ideal circumstances for her right now. The entire field would be bunching up behind it and consequently her, so maintaining her lead would be even more crucial once the green flag was in place. Her mind was already jumping to calculate the best approach to handle the situation. Maintaining a steady pace behind the safety car, weaving gently side to side to keep her tires up to temperature, ensuring she'd be ready to pounce next lap.

When it headed back into the pits coming into lap 3 Daisy wasted absolutely no time in seizing her opportunity to surge ahead of the pack. The roar of her engine was like music to her ears as she charged down the straight, determined to extend that gap between herself and the others just like she had in the first lap.

Daisy is building up a lead again after the safety car but overall it's still very close in the top 4. Russell keeps pace in second but the two Mercedes are fighting for that position but Hamilton needs to stay within range of Russell's DRS if he has any hope of keeping Verstappen behind him.

Oh and it's another safety car! Lap seven here at Albert Park and we're getting a second safety car as Alex Albon is off the road minus a front wing in turn 6. There's gravel all over the track and his Williams is sitting at the edge of the racing line. What a shame! And after such a good qualifying for him as well.

"What's the plan Anja? Is that Albon or Sargeant out."

"It's Albon," Anja confirmed "there's going to be another safety car. We don't think you should pit here though, it's still very early on and we want to build on our advantage with you in the lead."

Daisy mulled over Anja's words, a silent and unexpected relief washing over her that it wasn't Sargeant who crashed "ok, staying out it is. The tires feel fine so far but keep me updated on degradation and the others. Are any of the top 3 looking to pit now?"

Anja hummed on the other end of the radio "it's looking like Russell is going to pit now but he's the only one close to you. Sainz also appears to be coming in but he's not a threat."

Hearing that George was going to pit under the safety car conditions and lose his position satisfied Daisy. Normally she would be strongly for taking advantage of the slower race pace to box for fresh tires but not today. Not when she was leading a race for the first time since she was in F2 and with the threat of 2 world champions just seconds behind her.

Daisy knew she was a good driver, she had to. It was imperative to have that self confidence and belief in her abilities and talents if she wanted to succeed but there came a point when a driver was only as good as their car. The Porsche was solid and they had ranked 4th in the Constructors last year which was far better than anyone had expected from a rookie team, even if their car was decent. This year, it had improved a lot as well but they still needed a lot of development and data to be in with a chance of fighting at the top. So Daisy knew, it she was to let Verstappen or Hamilton ahead of her at any point in the race it would be very unlikely for her to make those positions back up.

"Daisy, it's now a red flag, I repeat, red flag," Anja told her just seconds later.

"Coming in now," Daisy replied smoothly, trying not to sound too happy that Russell had just conceded second place to pit only for a red flag and restart to be called meaning she could get fresh tires and start from first.

This was a chance for her to regroup and reassess their strategy going forward for the race. Daisy knew the team had faith in her but she doubted any of them predicted her taking the lead from Max straight off the bat so they would need to adjust the strategy appropriately.

As Daisy pulled into the pits, her team sprang into action. Mechanics swarmed around the car, swiftly changing tires and making adjustments while Anja relayed instructions and updates.

In the cockpit, Daisy took a moment to collect herself. The red flag had brought an abrupt halt to the intense rhythm of the race, but it also offered a chance to catch her breath and refocus. She glanced at the digital display on her steering wheel, assessing the status of her car and the remaining laps ahead.

Amidst the chaos of the bustling activity of the pit lane Daisy hopped out of the car to go confer with Anja.

"Anja," Daisy called out, catching her race engineer's attention. "Let's go over our options for the restart."

Anja nodded, acknowledging Daisy's request. Together, they huddled near the pit wall, their voices drowned out by the distant hum of engines and the bustling energy of the pit lane.

Ever focused, Anja wasted no time in delving into the new strategy "That was an incredible start Daisy," she complimented the young girl "definitely one we knew you were capable of but it did still take us all by surprise. We're going to put you on hards now like we originally planned to even though its obviously a little earlier than we'd like to so tire management is going to be key to keep you at the top."

"Agreed," Daisy nodded "I'm definitely not looking forward to attempting to hold off Lewis fucking Hamilton while keeping these tires alive but I can do it. I will be on the top step of that podium if I have anything to do with it."

"I know you will," Anja chuckled "Stella and Mila practically lost their minds at the start of the race with excitement. We all did, I don't think I've ever heard the garage that loud."

Daisy's cheeks flushed peach and it wasn't just from the Australian sun beating down on her in the heavy race suit "hopefully I don't bottle it now," she laughed, trying to deflect the praise.

Anja took her hand and interlaced their fingers as she said to Daisy, tone confident and assured "this is not the time for self doubt Daisy, once you're back on track I'm certain that you can secure that finish at the top of the podium, yes you're going to have pressure on you and it'll be tough to conserve our tires but I believe in you."

"How long did you practice that in the mirror," Daisy winked cheekily at her race engineer who just shook her head, fully used to the young driver's quips by now after a year working together.

"Straight from the heart Dais," Anja retorted "now come on, go back out there and make every bigot who thinks you don't deserve your seat eat their words."

The British driver grinned "you don't have to tell me twice," a steely resolve shinning in her eyes.

With the temporary pause Daisy quickly took a gulp from her water bottle, preparing herself for the fight that was undoubtedly awaiting her if she intended on keeping her first place. Then came the call that the race would be restarting and she found herself back in the cockpit. She exited the pitlane with one goal in mind and that was to win, any means necessary. It felt all too right to take her spot on the grid with all the other cars having to line up behind her.

The seconds ticked by slowly as the remaining 20 cars waited in anticipation for the red flag to be lifted and the race to resume. Daisy was confident, she was emerging with renewed vigour and while this was going to be a challenge, she welcomed it. To be the best you have to beat the best and that was exactly what she was setting out to accomplish with this race.

Here come the lights for the second start of the Australian Grand Prix and we're racing once again. Good reaction time from Daisy Shaw and Lewis Hamilton! The top three are as they left the grid - Shaw, Hamilton and Verstappen. Alonso goes to try get around the outside of Verstappen but he's not letting it happen. George Russel who was really screwed over with the strategy call to pit before the red flag has made up a few positions off the line but he still has far to go to make it back up to the action.

Oh and there's contact in the midfield! Off the road goes Nyck Devries and Perez gains a position. Hamilton is under attack from Verstappen as he finally has DRS and he gets around the outside. There's nothing Hamilton can do to defend his position with that redbull straight line speed and Max Verstappen soars past into second place.

"That's Verstappen up into second place now Daisy," Anja warned "still 7 seconds behind you."

"Just what I wanted to hear," Daisy exclaimed sarcastically over the radio "but if he thinks I'm letting him past he has another thing coming."

Daisy was all but catapulting off the track with determination seeping through every nerve in her body, her Porsche sliding through the corners and hurtling down the straights with precision. With each turn of the wheel, she could feel the weight of everyone's expectations bearing down upon her, but she refused to let it deter her.

Despite her efforts to stay composed though, a hint of nervousness began to gnaw at Daisy's confidence. The pressure of leading the field coupled with Verstappen's far too easy overtake on Hamilton wasn't ideal by any means. The stakes were higher than ever as the laps passed and she was fighting the limits of the car to pump out faster lap times to get away from the world champion currently chasing her down.

Sainz passes Russell who is quickly falling down the order. There must be a fault as he's pulling over at the end of the pitlane.

"Virtual safety car Daisy," Anja informed her "Russell had a failure and he's pulled in at the pitlane exit."

"Shit that's unlucky," Daisy commented at the news "but thanks Anja."

With Russell's unexpected setback reshuffling the order of the grid, Daisy knew that every moment counted if she wanted to maintain her lead and secure a podium finish. The pursuit of victory was relentless though. The laps ticked by and the pressure intensified with each one that Daisy managed to hold the lead for, the competition pushing her to the limits of her endurance.

Daisy could feel the strain of the race and the heat taking its toll, fatigue setting in as they were over half way and she was still battling to keep her Porsche at the front of the pack.

"Who has the current fastest lap?" Daisy broke the radio silence with her question.

"At the moment it's Verstappen, but you have held it previously so attempt again if you want."

With a clear track ahead of her, she unleashed the full power of her machine, pushing herself to the brink as she chased after the fastest lap title. Every corner was a calculated risk, every straightaway an opportunity to gain ground to defend her position against her rivals.

The number of remaining laps was steadily decreasing and Anja's voice was constantly crackling through the radio giving Daisy updates on her tire degradation and the ever changing status of fastest lap. She would claim it, then it would swap to Verstappen and vice versa. A constant power struggle as they fought to hold onto the title.

Daisy's tires were starting to feel the wear of almost 30 laps and they were nearing the end of their optimal lifespan. She found herself locked in a fierce battle to manage their degradation. With nearly 30 laps on the same set of tires, every corner became a delicate dance between preserving grip and maintaining speed.

Advice and updates from Anja came frequently on her tires and Daisy listened intently, her focus unwavering as she adjusted her driving style to eke out every last bit of performance from her worn tires. With each passing lap, Daisy's skill as a driver was put to the test, her finely-tuned instincts guiding her through the challenges of tire management.

In one of her frequent glances in her rear view mirror Daisy could no longer make out the faint green of Alonso's Aston Martin in fourth but instead the black and gold tint of her teammate's car gaining ground rapidly.

Now that her teammate was in the picture of possibly challenging her position as well Daisy knew she couldn't afford to let up. Max and Lewis were of course highly talented drivers but they were used to winning. It came easily to them and far more often than most of the grid. Daniel was determined - after his performance and treatment at Mclaren he was set out to prove that he wasn't washed up and that kind of mindset was more of a threat to Daisy's lead than being chased down by numerous world champions. Hunger was what made winners and right now she was starving, but Daniel was ravenous.

It all came crashing down though. Like most situations where Daisy finally believed something good was coming her way, it all fell apart. Her heart sank as Anja delivered the hesitant orders over the radio "Box now Daisy."

Frustration hit her like a punch to the gut. For all Anja had hyped her up about the team believing in her, why was she getting called to box now? Sure, she had a decent amount of time between her and the rest of the grid but that gap wasn't enough for her to feel comfortable with.

She glanced at her worn tires, feeling a pang of annoyance. She had been pushing them to the limit, trying to evoke every last ounce of performance, but she wasn't convinced that they had reached their breaking point.

With a deep breath, Daisy acknowledged the command, her mind already racing as she navigated her Porsche towards the pit lane. She knew that losing precious seconds in the pits could cost her dearly, but she had no choice but to trust in her team's strategy.

The pit stop was supposed to be a seamless ballet of precision and efficiency, but as Daisy rolled to a stop in her designated pit box, she felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong.

Her crew moved with a frantic urgency, but it was clear that things were not going according to plan. Seconds stretched into eternity as Daisy sat helplessly in her car, watching precious time slip away with each passing moment.

Finally, with a sense of dread settling in the pit of her stomach, Daisy was released back onto the track. But the damage had been done. The pit stop had taken far longer than anticipated, costing her valuable seconds and dropping her down the order.

As she rejoined the race, Daisy could feel the weight of disappointment pressing down on her shoulders. She had been so close, on the cusp of victory, only to have it snatched away by a critical error in the pits.

With gritted teeth and a steely determination, Daisy pushed herself to the limit, determined to claw her way back into contention. But the gap to the leaders was growing with each passing lap, and time was running out.

Verstappen and Hamilton were now locked in a fierce battle at the front of the pack, while Daniel Ricciardo had surged into third place, leaving Daisy trailing behind in fourth. It was a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that victory had been within her grasp only to slip away due to circumstances beyond her control.

The odds of her catching up and getting back to the top were unlikely now. She had fresh tires that weren't warmed up yet so she was at a disadvantage if she wanted to gain any position.

That must be heart-breaking for Daisy Shaw. On track for her maiden win here at Albert Park just for the usually very reliable pit crew to make a costly mistake setting her back in fourth behind her teammate. Can she get the pace on those tires to work her way back onto the podium?

Daisy fought to push harder as she honed in on Daniel ahead of her. The adrenaline and anger combined fuelling her determination to reclaim the ground she had lost in the pit stop and return to what she believed was her rightful victory. As she closed the gap, Daisy could feel the heat rising, both from the intense battle on the track and from the burning desire to prove herself once more. Lap after lap, she chipped away at the distance between her and Ricciardo, her car responding eagerly to her commands as she pushed it to its limits.

By lap 52, Daisy was right on his heels, her car darting and weaving in his slipstream as she searched for an opportunity to make her move. The tension crackled in the air as the crowd held its breath, anticipation hanging heavy over the circuit.

The elation of catching up and being on the cusp of overtaking Daniel was short-lived as Anja's voice crackled over the radio, delivering a blow to Daisy's hopes and aspirations. The team orders cut through the air like a knife, slicing through the adrenaline-fueled haze of the race with cold, stark reality.

"Daisy, its Anja," the voice came through, firm and unwavering, "we need you to hold position behind Daniel. Repeat, do not attempt to overtake him."

Daisy's frustration boiled over as she keyed the radio, her voice crackling with pent-up emotion. "Anja, this is Daisy," she began, her tone edged with irritation, "I understand the team strategy and all, but this is just unfair. I've worked my ass off out here, pushing every damn lap, and now you're telling me to hold back? It's not right."

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Anja responded, her voice steady but tinged with sympathy. "Daisy, I hear you," she said, her words measured, "but we have to think about the bigger picture here. We're aiming for maximum points for the team, and right now, that means maintaining our position behind Daniel."

Daisy grit her teeth, her frustration mounting with each passing moment. "I get it, Anja, I do," she replied, her voice tight with barely restrained anger, "but that doesn't make it any easier to swallow. I'm out here to race, to compete, not to play second fiddle to my teammate. And I know its not just you this is coming from but I was in the lead before this botched strategy call. So don't talk to me about wanting to maximise points for the team when it could have been a double podium finish for us."

Anja sighed softly, a note of resignation in her voice. "I know, Daisy," she said softly, "and believe me, I wish it could be different. But sometimes in racing, we have to make tough calls for the good of the team. And remember, this is Daniel's home race. The team wants him on that podium, and we need to do everything we can to make that happen."

Daisy's jaw tightened at the reminder, a surge of resentment bubbling up within her. She understood the significance of the race for Daniel, but it didn't make the team orders any easier to accept. "I know, Anja," she said through gritted teeth, "but it doesn't change the fact that this feels like a slap in the face after all the effort I've put in."

Anja's voice softened with understanding. "I hear you, Daisy," she said gently, "and I wish there was another way. But for now, let's focus on bringing both cars home safely and maximizing the points for the team."

Clenching her fists, her jaw set in determination. "I hear you, Anja," she said finally, her tone firm, "but that doesn't mean I have to like it." With that, she fell silent, the weight of the team orders heavy on her shoulders as she focused on bringing the car home, her frustration simmering just beneath the surface.

If she was being truly honest she wished she could just crash out now out of spite as a way of telling the team to go fuck themselves for their sudden change up in attitude as soon as Daniel had hope of a decent finish. Daisy could have been their winner for crying out loud. The first of hopefully many Porsche wins in their modern era. Instead it had all been sacrificed for getting a third place finish. She was feeling extremely bitter with how the race was turning out but she couldn't see the logic of the team orders. In what world do you take a win away from a driver, to not even swap it to the other driver, but to get a worse overall result?

She knew that not holding her tongue in response to the team orders meant she'd be faced with many questions in media later and a whole lot of criticism online from people claiming that she was too emotional and that it was exactly why women shouldn't be allowed in the sport. Stella was going to have her work cut out for her if she hoped to reign in her annoyance before she said something she'd regret.

And now a safety car is going to be needed as Kevin Magnusson as the Haas suffers a suspension failure. A full safety car! That could completely change the game. Wait - red flag? For the second time this race a red flag is called.

Daisy groaned internally at the second red flag. She was so over this race after everything that went down and dragging it out further was the last thing she wanted. Well no, scratch that - the last thing she wanted was to interact with any of the team after they stripped her of her chance to win.

As the cars slowed to a halt once again, Daisy couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment at the turn of events. The suspension failure suffered by Kevin Magnussen only added to the sense of chaos and unpredictability that had defined the Australian Grand Prix. Even though the outcome of the race was still technically hanging in the balance Daisy already knew she was finishing fourth. She wasn't going to be able to overtake Daniel in a two lap restart. It was too short a distance unless her royally fucked up even if she was itching to have an excuse to defy team orders.

Stand by for the third start of the Australian Grand Prix! It's two laps to sort out who wins with Verstappen jumping ahead of Lewis Hamilton who will try edge out Daniel Ricciardo. Its contact - Fernando Alonso was spun round by Carlos Sainz. Perez is out wide off the road! And there's a crash at the back of the field, into the wall goes Gasly. Its absolute chaos on this restart. Oh! He's sent Stroll into the corner as well. Its total, total chaos and red flag, again. Wow, both Alpines are out with parts strewn all over the track.

Restart and in quick succession another restart. Daisy couldn't wait for this absolute shitshow of a race to end.

"...Restart order is Verstappen, Hamilton, Daniel, you, Alonso, Sainz, Stroll, Perez, Norris, Hulkenberg, Piastri," Anja broke their awkward silence with the news.

"Right," Daisy was cold with her single word reply and although she didn't want to take it out on Anja because at the end of the day that was her friend and she wasn't the one who made the decision but it was the only way the team would be hearing how pissed off she was.

"And Sainz has a five second penalty to serve as well."

As the safety car peeled off into the pit lane, signalling the start of the final lap, Daisy's focus sharpened, just one more lap and then she could be done with this less than ideal race. Verstappen and Hamilton lead the charge ahead as expected and as Daisy predicted one lap wasn't enough time to try get past Daniel, especially since she didn't have DRS.

Fending off the two Aston Martin's behind her, the checkered flag loomed closer than ever and Daisy counted down the final seconds until she crossed the finish line. Coming in 4th behind her teammate who she had significantly outqualified hadn't been how she envisioned this race ending.

Breathing heavily, Daisy guided her Porsche to a smooth stop in the designated parking area, the roar of the engines fading into the background as the adrenaline of the race began to ebb away. With a deep exhale, she released the tension in her muscles, allowing herself a moment of respite after the gruelling race. The weight of disappointment hung heavy in the air, tempered only by the knowledge that she had given her all on the track.

Turning off the engine, Daisy sat in silence for a moment, the quiet hum of the car's systems filling the cockpit as she collected her thoughts. It had been a rollercoaster of a race, filled with highs and lows, triumphs and setbacks. Climbing out of the cockpit, the sight that greeted her was nothing short of infuriating. The Porsche team was a flurry of activity, buzzing with excitement and energy as they celebrated Daniel's podium finish at his home race.

She watched from a distance as Daniel was enveloped in congratulatory hugs and cheers, his infectious grin lighting up the paddock. But amidst the jubilant atmosphere, Daisy felt a pang of loneliness wash over her. No one from the team came over to greet her, no cheers or applause greeted her ears. It was as if she were invisible, a mere afterthought in the shadow of Daniel's success.

Suppressing a sigh, Daisy forced a smile onto her face, but inside, her heart ached with disappointment and frustration. She had given her all on the track, fought hard and pushed herself to the limit, just for it to be stripped away.

With a sudden burst of movement, Stella came sprinting over to Daisy, her arms outstretched in a welcoming embrace. Mila followed closely behind, a warm smile lighting up her face as she joined the embrace.

"You did incredible out there, Daisy," Stella murmured, her voice filled with empathy. "It was completely unfair, but you held Verstappen and Hamilton off like a champ."

Stella's words cut through Daisy's disappointment like a ray of sunlight breaking through dark clouds. As they stood there, enveloped in their embrace, Daisy felt a surge of gratitude for her friend's understanding. Daisy was highly competitive to a fault and a control freak to the point where it was destructive and nobody knew it better than Stella. Nobody knew how to talk her down as effectively as Stella could.

"Thanks, Stella," Daisy replied, her voice hoarse with emotion. "I'm still really pissed off but it does mean a lot to hear that from you."

"I know flower," Mila spoke up this time "you were robbed but unfortunately we don't have a say in that."

Daisy couldn't help but crack a cheeky smile as she glanced over at Mila and Stella. "Well speaking of robbery, since Max has so many trophies lying around, maybe he could spare this one for me," she joked, a playful glint in her eye.

Mila let out a chuckle, while Stella rolled her eyes affectionately. "Yeah, because Verstappen definitely needs another one," Stella quipped, earning a laugh from the trio.

"Definitely," Mila was serious in her delivery "his championship trophy will get lonely on his fridge."

The three girls erupted into fits of laughter, their giggles echoing through the paddock. It was a brief but much-needed moment of levity in the midst of the intense emotions swirling around them. Daisy felt a weight lift off her shoulders as she joined in their laughter, grateful for the bond they shared and the support they offered each other, even in the most challenging of times.

The crowd erupted into cheers as the podium commenced and Max, Lewis and Daniel all took their place on the steps. Daniel especially was met with thunderous applause as he all but bounced onto the podium, waving to the energetic crowd.

Daisy was reluctantly stood on the sidelines, struggling to keep her expression neutral. She couldn't bring herself to join in the celebrations, not after the bitter disappointment of the race's outcome. Stella, ever perceptive, guided Daisy through the crowd, her hand a reassuring presence on Daisy's shoulder.

Stella knew Daisy's reluctance to participate in the festivities, understanding the mixed emotions swirling within her. She subtly steered Daisy away from the spotlight, sparing her from the pressure of public appearances that could potentially paint her in a negative light.

Together, they found a quieter spot on the fringes of the celebration, where Daisy could observe from a distance without being thrust into the spotlight. Stella's silent support spoke volumes, offering Daisy the comfort and understanding she needed in that moment.

To nobody's surprise the familiar Dutch anthem began to play first and the driver's were presented with their trophies. When it was Daniel's turn, he turned to Max with a mischievous grin, grabbing his arm as he presented him with his shoe and the champagne.

Max didn't even try hide how reluctant he was and the disgust he was feeling at the situation but with Daniel egging him on he gave in, forcing the liquid down his throat as quickly as possible before tossing it back at Daniel, gagging from the taste.

Then the typical podium celebrations took place. Daniel, Max and Lewis spraying each other with the bubbly liquid in a display of victory and the air filled with laughter and cheers as they drenched each other in champagne. Daisy couldn't help but let her mind wander as to what could have been. What it would have felt like to take that top step on the podium and make history as the first woman to win an f1 race in over 40 years.

Looking out into the crowd she caught Logan's gaze in the midst of the celebrations, she could sense a shared disappointment between them. Despite their limited interactions so far, there was an unspoken understanding of the challenges they both faced.

Logan approached Daisy with a sense of genuine concern, his expression reflecting his own frustrations from the race. "Hey, Daisy," he began, his voice tinged with remorse, "I saw you were leading for ages but then lost out on the podium. What happened out there?"

Daisy appreciated his sincerity, acknowledging the rare moment of vulnerability between them. "Yeah, it was a tough race," she replied, her tone softened by the unexpected camaraderie, "I had some issues with tire degradation, and then we had that botched pit stop. Just wasn't our day, I guess."

Logan nodded sympathetically, a hint of empathy in his eyes. "Shit sorry to hear that," he said sincerely, "Sounds like you should be up there on top. Shame things didn't work out."

God was he making this difficult for her. Daisy purposefully didn't get close to the other drivers on the grid. It was a lonely life and they did all probably think she was a bit of a bitch for it but it prevented the idiotic rumours circling around her. But there was something so damn endearing about those sad eyes and his deceptively sweet personality.

Despite her own disappointment, Daisy's empathetic nature compelled her to reach out to Logan, who had faced his own challenges during the race. She'd already established that he was the type of person to beat himself up unfairly over every little thing, even those out of his control. So she wanted to make sure he knew that this was not his fault.

Daisy's demeanour softened further as she empathized with Logan's struggle. "Yeah, tough break with that DNF," she sympathised, her voice carrying a note of genuine concern, "But hey, it happens to the best of us. Just gotta keep pushing forward, right?"

She offered him a reassuring smile, hoping to uplift his spirits in the wake of the disappointment. "You'll bounce back stronger next time, I'm sure of it," she encouraged, her words genuine and supportive, "And hey, if you ever need someone to chat with about anything really, I'm always around."

His expression lit up as he listened to her words "thanks Daisy," he was so earnest "I appreciate it, it's kind of lonely here you know...the team don't really know me properly yet and Oscar's my only friend but even he seems kind of distant lately."

Well didn't that make things even harder for her to not befriend him. She understood the feeling of isolation in such a high pressure environment better than most others in the paddock. "I get it," she replied, her tone gentle, "racing can be a tough gig, especially when you're still finding your place in the team. But trust me, it gets better. You'll find your groove, and the team will come around. And hey, if you ever need someone to talk to or grab a coffee or just hang out with, I'm here. We can be lonely together, yeah?" She offered him a reassuring smile, hoping to lighten the weight of sadness he seemed to carry.

Once those words left her lips and he beamed at her Daisy felt her heart race. Shit. Just what exactly had she gotten herself into.

[aspoonofsugar]

Weiss and Jaune = Knight + Queen

Mirror Help me Who am I?

Weiss and Jaune are strong foils (mirrors), who can be analyzed through a specific motif.

They are both Knights (masculine):

And Queens (feminine):

This is made clear also through their respective allusions:

1 -Weiss alludes to Snowhite and plays all the different characters of the story with a specific focus on the Princess and the Prince, which is highlighted since the White Trailer:

Weiss and her inner Prince (Animus), who is corrupted and possessed by her Father

Here, Weiss fights a giant armor, which symbolizes the power her father (the patriarchy) has above her. She is fighting both for her freedom and to get back a possessed part of herself (the Arma Gigas is literally a haunted armor). If she wants to escape Jacques, she has to be her own Prince. In other words, to be crowned queen, she needs to become a knight first.

2 -Jaune alludes to Jeanne d'Arc who was both a maid and a knight. Jaune's story is about him growing into both. He needs to accept his inner maiden to become a proper knight. This is made clear in the Jaunedice's arc (this mini arc really works as Jaune's trailer). There he grows not when he gives in to toxic masculinity, but when he stands up to it:

Jaune performing his first miracle and later on being guided by his Goddess (Anima), who is none other than Pyrrha

Jaune makes progress when he nurtures his most feminine side and shows vulnerability by apologizing and asking for Pyrrha's help. A real man has no fear to show he is also feminine.

In short, both Weiss and Jaune's stories deal with the integration of their feminine and masculine parts, so that they can be full-fledged individuals.

ANIMUS AND ANIMA

Integrating the feminine with the masculine is a psychological process, which is described by Carl Jung with the archetypes of animus and anima:

The animus is the masculine part of a woman

The anima is the feminine part of a man

Each person has naturally both, but society promotes specific gender values and drives people to repress traits culturally associated with the opposite gender. So, to fully be complete a person should integrate the negated parts.

This is the case for both Weiss and Jaune, who are initially trapped in fixed gender roles:

Weiss is the rich spoilt princess. She is forced to adhere to the social role Jacques has chosen for her. She is the Schnee Heiress, which means she should always be classy, perfect and elegant:

Weiss: I'm. Not. Perfect! Not yet...

Jaune is instead the loser boy, who wants to be a knight. He doesn't really fit his gender nor social role. He is a male, but is weak, geeky and odd. He has a legacy of warriors to honor, but can't fight. So, he feels he isn't enough:

Jaune: I don't want help! I don't want to be the damsel in distress! I want to be the hero!

Basically they are both trapped in opposite ways. Weiss fits her legacy and stereotype so well people forget there is more to her. Jaune instead doesn't measure up to his ancestors nor to the classical male type, so everybody assumes he is bound to fail. This happens because Weiss and Jaune are victims in different ways of toxic masculinity:

As a girl, Weiss has to obey her father, to suppress her emotions and to be nothing, but beautiful. Think about how Jacques even weaponizes typical feminine traits Weiss has, like her talent at singing.

As a boy, Jaune has to conform to physical prowess and bravado. He has to be big, ripped and cool or else he is no-one. The idea he is not like the other boys is at the root of Jaune's insecurities.

At the same time, Weiss and Jaune are also incredibly immature and project outside the same gender roles they are trying to escape inside. Moreover, they do so specifically with each other:

Weiss: (mockingly) My hero.

This scene summarizes their whole early dynamic. On the one hand Weiss sees Jaune as the loser he is scared to be. She only sees his superficial bravado and misses who he is behind the mask. On the other hand Jaune is attracted to Weiss because he sees her as the perfect princess to his knight. So, he is drawn to the mask.

Even the reason Jaune initially falls for Weiss ties into this:

Weiss: Yeah! And we can paint our nails and try on clothes and talk about cute boys, like tall, blond, and scraggly over there!

Weiss here is mocking both Jaune and Ruby, two people she has misjudged and shows no respect for. She is being cold, superficial and rude. Still, Jaune falls for it and believes Weiss's words. He does because they describe Jaune as he wants to be perceived. So, he runs after Weiss and ignores Pyrrha.

In short, initially Weiss and Jaune can't see neither themselves nor others clearly. Luckily, this starts to change at Beacon.

ICE QUEEN AND VOMIT BOY

Sun: Ruby, Yang, Blake… Ice Queen.

Ruby: Look, I'm sorry! Vomit Boy was the first thing that came to mind.

Weiss and Jaune are given nicknames the moment they arrive at Beacon. This happens because they are both childish and self-centered, so they are called out by others. Specifically, their nicknames are light-hearted ways to criticize their perceived self-importance and the archetypes they are trying to emulate. Weiss is called an ice queen because she is acting as daddy's little princess. Jaune is instead jockingly named vomit boy because he tries too hard to look cool. They are still far away from who they want to become and their friends pick up on this. Luckily, giving them funny names is not all RWBY and JNPR do for Weiss and Jaune. Rather they help the two kids grow. In particular, Ice Queen and Vomit Boy develop in two different and complementary ways:

In volume 1 they learn to see who they are slightly better

In volume 2 they become able to see others with more clarity

Seeing One-Self

At the beginning of their stories Weiss and Jaune are running away from who they are:

I'm the loneliest of all.

Even when I told my parents I was going to Beacon, they told me not to worry if I ended up having to move back home. How depressing is that?

Both have big families, but feel lonely and misunderstood. So, they hope they can have a fresh start at Beacon, but immediately meet unforeseen circumstances:

By this point Weiss and Jaune are pursuing a superficial dream of heroes and monsters. They figure their most perfected selves beside the "right" patner.

On the one hand Weiss wants Pyrrha to be the "knight" to her "princess":

Weiss: This will be perfect! The smartest girl in class combined with the strongest girl in class! Together we will be unstoppable!

She wants someone strong (body) that complements her intelligence (mind). She thinks that in this way she can't fail.

On the other hand Jaune wants Weiss to be the "princess" to his "knight":

Jaune: Don't worry! No need to be embarrassed! So, been hearing rumors about teams! I was thinking you and me would make a good one! What do you say?

He wants someone who is beautiful and looks frail, so he can protect her. He thinks in this way he can appear strong.

Both are wrong obviously. This is why they end up with respectively Ruby and Pyrrha as partners.

Weiss needs to realize what complements mind is not body, but heart. This is why she is paired with Ruby, who lacks physical strength, but has more than enough heart to guide Weiss. Throughout the initiation, Weiss herself has to act as a Knight by saving Ruby from the Nevermore. And later on, she needs to follow Ruby's plan (so Ruby's mind) to take down the Grimm and pass the trial.

Jaune needs to realize a real knight is not physically strong, but is wise (mind) and brave (heart). This is why he ends up with Pyrrha, who is both and challenges him in two different ways. She doesn't fit feminine stereotypes and sees Jaune's value not in his superficial traits, but rather in his willingness to help. Throughout the initiation, Jaune shows this by staying behind to lead others into kiling the Grimm.

So, Ruby and Pyrrha are the ones, who can help Weiss and Jaune grow the most. However, the 2 kids struggle to accept it and enter into a conflict with their respective partners in The Bagde and The Burden and Jaunedice. These 2 mini-arcs are interesting because they do not really add anything to the main plot. Rather, they are episodes which focus on Weiss and Jaune respectively. Once again our wannabe queen and wannabe knight act as perfect foils to each other.

On the one hand Weiss is powerful enough to kill Grimms on her own, but wants to be the Queen giving orders. On the other hand Jaune has gained the title of leader, but wants to be the competent Knight slaining monsters.

In short, they want what the other has and miss what they already are. Why is that so? Because deep down they dislike themselves and can't see they have the seeds for greatness within. They don't need to look outside, but should nurture the inside.

Luckily, they are helped by 2 mentor figures:

Port: So instead of fretting about what you don't have, savor what you do. Hone your skills, perfect every technique, and be not the best leader, but the best person you can be.

Ruby: Because it's not just about you anymore. You've got a team now, Jaune. We both do! And if we fail, then we'll just be bringing them down with us. We have to put our teammates first, and ourselves second. Your team deserves a great leader, Jaune. And I think that can be you.

Port invites Weiss to grow as a person and Ruby reminds Jaune of his duties as a leader. So, Weiss and Jaune step up for the sake of their partners:

Weiss: Ruby, I think you have what it takes to be a good leader. Just know that I am going to be the best teammate you'll ever have!

Jaune: Don't ever mess with my team - my friends - ever again. Got it?

Weiss encourages Ruby to be a good leader and promises her she will be the best teammate ever. She even aknowledges she has always loved bunked beds and makes a small step in integrating with her inner child. Something necessary if she wants to blossom into an adult.

Jaune fights Cardin for Pyrrha's sake and decides to dedicate himself to his role of leader. At the same time, he accepts Pyrrha's help, so he shows vulnerability. In other words, he starts integrating with his feminine side. Something needed to become more mature.

So, by the end of their first semester at Beacon both Weiss and Jaune have come to understand themselves and their roles a little bit better. Still, they have yet a long way to go when it comes to the way they aknowledge others.

What better chance than a dance to work on it?

Seeing Others

When it comes to the dance, Weiss and Jaune find themselves in the same situation of the initiation ceremony. They are locked into "triangles":

Jaune wants to go to the dance with Weiss, who wants to go with Neptune

Pyrrha wants to go to the dance with Jaune, who wants to go with Weiss

They pursue the wrong partner and ignore another person's feelings. In this way they do to another what they lament it is done to them:

Weiss: All my life, boys have only cared about the perks of my last name.

Jaune: It's Weiss… I'm completely head over heels for her, and she won't even give me a chance. She's cold, but she's also incredible. She's smart, and graceful, and talented-- I mean have you heard her sing? I just wish she take me seriously, y'know?

On the one hand Weiss wants to be seen for who she is, not her name. And yet, she refuses to look earnestly at Jaune and doesn't even recognize his feelings as genuine (recognizing someone's feelings doesn't mean to reciprocate them by the way). On the other hand Jaune wants to be taken seriously, but the moment Pyrrha tries to open up to him, he reduces her feelings to a joke:

Jaune: Oh please, if you don't get a date to the dance, I'll wear a dress.

At the same time, both approach love superficially. Jaune has started to really like Weiss as a person, but he is still far from truly seeing the girl in all her complexity. Weiss is instead failing to recognize Jaune's good qualities and is attracted to Neptune's try hard persona:

Neptune: Haven. And I don't believe I've caught your name, snow angel.

The narrative makes it very clear Neptune is just a shallower, but better looking version of Jaune. He is a geek (like Jaune), but calls himself an intellectual. He flirts with every girl that breathes, waaaay more than Jaune does initially. And yet, he looks cooler, so Weiss is attracted by him.

This "double triangle" is solved positively in 2 different ways:

Weiss and Jaune start to display respectively more masculine and feminine traits

Weiss and Jaune learn to see others a little bit better

Weiss plays the part of the knight and invites Neptune to the dance:

Weiss: I know this is a little unorthodox, but… I wanted to ask you something. Would you… like to accompany me to the dance tomorrow?

Jaune plays the part of the maiden and wears a dress to accept Pyrrha's late invite:

Pyrrha: I had no idea you were a dancer. Jaune: Yeah, well, these things tend to happen when you grow up with seven sisters.

On a deeper level, Jaune confronts both Pyrrha (the ideal self he must aim to be) and Neptune (the past self he has outgrown).

Pyrrha: I've been blessed with incredible talents and opportunities. I'm constantly surrounded by love and praise, but when you're placed on a pedestal like that for so long, you become separated from the people that put you there in the first place. Everyone assumes I'm too good for them. That I'm on a level they simply can't attain. It's become impossible to form any sort of meaningful relationship with people. That's what I like about you. When we met, you didn't even know my name. You treated me just like anyone else. And thanks to you, I've made friendships that will last a lifetime. I guess, you're the kind of guy I wish I was here with. Someone who just saw me for me.

He realizes he has hurt Pyrrha's feelings and has failed to see her the whole time. At the same time, he calls Neptune out on how he has treated Weiss's feelings:

Jaune: Do you even care about the girls you're hitting on? How they feel about you?

And finally, thanks to his ideal self (Pyrrha), he is able to give his past self (Neptune) a good advice:

Jaune: Then just go talk to her. No pickup lines, no suave moves, just be yourself. I've heard that's the way to go.

In this way, Jaune shows he has grown more mature and crowns his evening by wearing a beautiful dress and proving he is a great dancer (differently from Neptune).

Weiss grows too. She accepts Neptune's apology and thanks to him, she is able to finally see Jaune for who he is:

Weiss: You said you were embarrassed at first. What made you come talk to me? Neptune: You're looking at him. You got some good friends looking out for ya.

She might not reciprocate Jaune's feelings, but Jaune is still her friend and cares about her as a person, not as a trophy. This moment marks an improvement of Weiss's overall dynamic with Jaune and she starts to see him as a close one, even praising him occasionally:

Weiss: Well, he's certainly improved.

This is a top off for Weiss's growth as a less judgemental person. This process starts with Blake and her prejudice against Faunus and goes on with Jaune and her misjudgement of him.

All in all, Weiss and Jaune's months at Beacon are key for the kids' early development:

Weiss grows through Ruby and Blake

Jaune grows through Pyrrha and his team

They keep walking parallel paths and slowly start to aknowledge each other more. Weiss starts to see Jaune not as a loser, but as a person who is trying hard. Jaune start to see Weiss not as a damsel, but as a talented individual with wishes of her own. Similarly, their relationship with their inner selves improves, as well.

By the time of the Vytal Festival, both Weiss and Jaune are making small steps toward who they want to become.

The Vytal Festival: Unsure Knight and Clueless Maiden

Weiss and Jaune's tournament fights display their better qualities. On the one hand Weiss sacrifices herself for Yang. On the other hand Jaune is able to lead his team well. They are both more selfless with a better understanding of their roles in their teams.

This growth is marked by important moments outside the arena.

Weiss meets Winter, who inspires her to branch out a little. This is the catalyst for Weiss's transformation into a knight:

Jaune notices Pyrrha is off and tries to step into an adviser position. Basically, he tries to do what Pyrrha has done for him. He tries to guide her by symbolically playing a more supportive role. Moreover, he tries to help Pyrrha making sense of maidenhood:

Jaune: I guess… I'm just trying to say that… you've always been there for me… even when I didn't deserve it. And I can tell there's something on your mind, so… I don't know. How can I help?

Obviously, they are both still immature. Weiss is dependent on her father and can barely summon a tiny sword. Jaune is ignorant and isn't able to give Pyrrha the right advice. Still, they both try, even if they meet an unforeseen crisis. The Fall of Beacon.

Weiss manages to step in to protect Velvet. She acts as a real Knight in Shining Armor:

Jaune does his best to stand beside Pyrrha, even in her darkest moment:

Jaune: She's right. Whoever was on that microphone… they're the ones that did this. And we have to make sure they don't take anyone else.

Despite this, they both fail in the end. Weiss can't save Beacon and loses her new found home and family. Jaune can't save Pyrrha and loses the girl he loves. So, after so much development and growth Weiss and Jaune wake up to discover it still isn't enough. So, the finale pushes them back in the roles they have tried to escape so desperately.

Weiss is brought back under her father's thumb. Jaune is shoved into a locker, forced to fly away like a loser. Weiss is once again daddy's little princess, while Jaune is once again a wannabe knight, who couldn't save the girl.

SNOWHITE AND JEANNE

Ren: Well that embarrassment - that desire to go back and tell yourself not to be so stupid - that just proves you're not the same person you used to be. You're smarter, you're kinder, you're stronger, and you're not done growing yet. None of us are.

The Mistral arc marks a metaphorical growth spurt for both Weiss and Jaune. This development manifests in the volume 5 climax, where their stories intersect:

This scene is a culmination of their respective developments and ties with both their allusions:

Snowhite dies, but is resurrected by the Prince

Jeanne D'Arc performs a mircacle and brings back a person from the death

So, it is clearly very important symbolically, but what does it mean for Weiss and Jaune's characters, specifically?

1- Weiss and Jaune overcome two fake Maidens

Vernal and Cinder are the two fake Maidens of the Mistral arc, as the opening of volume 5 suggests:

Vernal is set up as the Spring Maiden and Cinder is set up as Raven's biggest foe. And yet, neither of them lives up to expectations. On the one hand Vernal is just a red herring, while Cinder isn't Raven's true opponent, but Yang is.

At the same time, Vernal and Cinder are Weiss and Jaune's opponents during the Battle of Haven. Interestingly, they both challenge the kids about their true identities. Who are they really?

Vernal: Let's see what the Schnee name really means.

Cinder: Who are you again?

Vernal mocks Weiss by stating she is nothing outside her name and Cinder sneers at Jaune by telling him he is a nobody. These are Weiss and Jaune's biggest fears. Weiss is scared her only value is her Schnee name, whereas Jaune is terrified of being a loser. In short, both Vernal and Cinder attack Weiss and Jaune's egos and leave them shattered:

Vernal physically breaks Weiss's aura, while Cinder psychologically destroys Jaune by targeting Weiss, just like she did with Pyrrha. Vernal and Cinder's objective is really to reduce Weiss and Jaune to nobodies. And yet, they fail. That is because the self is not found in physical strength or power, but rather comes from inside:

Yang: You might be powerful, but that doesn't make you strong.

In this battle Vernal and Cinder really symbolize Weiss and Jaune's illusory sense of selves. Their ugly personas. This is why they are both fake. Fake maidens masked with strength and confidence. And yet, they are deep down made of lies.

Vernal derides Weiss because of her dependency on the Schnee Family. And yet, Vernal herself has dedicated her whole existence to the Branwen Tribe and even changed her name for Raven's sake. In other words, she has reduced herself to her Spring Maiden persona. She is the one, who is nothing more than a name. And a false one, to boot.

Cinder laughts at Jaune's wannabe hero performance, but a lucky strike by her opponent is enough to derail her. An inexperienced fighter like Jaune grazing her breaks Cinder's whole facade and shows the ugly psychological wounds she hides behind a mask.

This is why Vernal and Cinder defeat Weiss and Jaune, but ultimately fail and actually destroy each other. Vernal dies by Cinder's hand, despite how strong and smart she is. Cinder is unmasked by Raven and falls because of Vernal's final desperate attack, which ensures Cinder's defeat.

Weiss and Jaune instead are reborn thanks to each other. Weiss is physically saved by Jaune, whereas Jaune starts to psychologically heal through helping Weiss. Weiss unlocks a new summon, while Jaune discovers his semblance. In the end, Weiss and Jaune don't need to play by Vernal and Cinder's rules.

Weiss's strength doesn't lie in her individual skill, but in the relationships she has built with others. She doesn't have to survive on her own because she is full of loved ones ready to help her shine. And she can help them too.

Jaune is heroic not because he is a lonely warrior slaying villains, but because he is a good friend always ready to help. His value lies in his wish to protect others. Moreover, he can rely on them when he needs.

Weiss and Jaune's real selves are in their hearts, which are growing stronger. That is why they lose the physical fight, but win the spiritual one. They ultimately succeed, as Weiss's Queen Lancer is key to saving Haven and Jaune's Aura Amp is fundamental in saving Weiss. Weiss protects a Kingdom, while Jaune protects a girl.

2- Weiss and Jaune integrate with their animus/anima

Weiss and Jaune embrace their true selves by reconciling their masculine and feminine parts. Once again this process is conveyed through their allusions.

Our Snowhite dies and is reborn twice. The first time, Jacques (the Evil Queen) kills her psychologically by taking away her Heiress title and imprisoning her in her room (the glass coffin). Weiss is able to escape by developing her masculine side (the Knight).

She successfully draws energy from her animus (her inner Prince) and uses this new found resourcefulness to escape. She leaves behind her passiveness (feminine) and grows more active (masculine). This is why her summon symbolically breaks the window and immediately after Weiss makes the choice to leave.

The second time, Cinder (another Evil Queen) kills her physically, but Jaune (the Prince) saves her. As a result, Weiss wakes up and is crowned Queen.

Becoming Queen in fairy tales means you have reached self-actualization. So, Weiss has become her true self, which is a combination of feminine (queen) and masculine (lancer). The Queen Lancer then symbolizes Weiss reconciling with her anima (feminine part) by making it freer, more genuine and stronger through her animus (masculine part).

Our Jeanne performs a miracle and has a vision. He brings Weiss back from the death in Haven. By doing so he physically plays the part of the Knight in Shining Armor. Still, he succeeds by integrating his animus with his anima. As a matter of fact he lets go of fighting and killing (masculine) and takes up healing (feminine):

Later on, he needs spiritual guidance and finds it in his anima (Pyrrha). So, he has a symbolic "vision" of her in front of her statue:

Obviously, the woman is probably Pyrrha's mother, but it doesn't matter. The whole scene is framed up as aetherial and ambiguous because thematically Pyrrha's soul points Jaune toward the right path. So, Jaune is guided by his feminine side.

Weiss and Jaune's journey in Mistral leads them to face their fears and let go of their personas. By doing so, they succeed at integrating their animus and anima. The end result is that they grow up.

Weiss blooms into a Queen:

Weiss's royal dress is blue (melted ice) and has snowhite-like puff sleeves.

Jaune becomes a Knight:

Jaune's outfit keeps his red details and adds more gold to it.

Upon their arrival in Atlas, they are not Ice Queen and Vomit Boy anymore, but genuine articles.

QUEEN AND KNIGHT

Right now I’m just a bit surprised Cuz I feel just fine And I might just touch the sky

The sun is shining in the sky The birds are smiling so am i I’m kicking ass in every way Think this change is here to stay It’s feeling like a brand new day

In Atlas, our Queen and Knight live their best lives.

Weiss arrests her father and reconnects with her estranged family. She becomes the Queen of the Schnee family. Jaune instead supports everyone, meets the admiration of civilians and is in generally successful. He becomes a perfect Knight in Shining Armor.

Even when the situation gets dire they both maintain a mature attitude. They are not touched by the Divide and their major conflict lies rather with a family member (sibling):

Winter: You're not leaving me. I'm giving you a head start.

Ren: You cheated your way into Beacon!

Winter and Ren oppose Weiss and Jaune out of repression and frustration. And yet, Weiss and Jaune's reaction is of empathy and understandment:

Weiss: Don’t worry, they’re sisters. Sometimes sisters just have very different ideas about what’s right.

Jaune: We’re all under a lot of stress right now. I used to push people away too.

They never doubt their loved ones and when Winter and Ren come around there is no need for apologies. Weiss and Jaune simply welcome them back with warmth.

In short, our Queen and Knight are among the characters who have grown the most, so they often come up with solutions. For example, Jaune offers a way to overcome the Divide from a practical point of view:

Jaune: Okay. Okay… Then let’s go for both. Get Amity up and running and evacuate Mantle.

Weiss is instead the one to state the theme outloud before the climax:

Weiss: Trust is a risk

This development is precisely why they both get to shine in the final battle.

On the one hand Weiss holds it together while her team is in disarray after Yang's fall. Ruby is traumatized and caught up in a fight with Neo, while Blake temporally loses it. Weiss keeps on facing Cinder alone and does her best to protect Penny and the relic.

On the other hand Jaune keeps a level-head and manages to evacuate the civilians only to join the fray at the very end. He reads the situation correctly and kills Penny when there is no other choice.

Weiss and Jaune have grown into who they want to be in the beginning. This is why they are the last fighters standing. And yet, despite all their training and maturation, they still fail. They face an Evil Queen (Cinder) and are defeated when they are at their strongest. Weiss is a true Queen fighting for her home and Jaune is a true Knight fighting for the people. And yet, they are crushed and fall. Just like at Beacon.

Once again, Weiss fails to protect a Kingdom:

Once again, Jaune fails to protect a Maiden:

At the same time, they believe the other can somehow succeed, even if they don't:

Weiss: Maybe… Jaune and Winter were able to get them out, despite… everything… despite us…

Jaune: I don’t know where the others are, but… Weiss will give us time!

Weiss hopes Jaune and Winter (aka her ideal) save the relics. Jaune hopes Weiss can buy him and Penny time, like Pyrrha (aka his ideal).

In short, Weiss and Jaune grow into their ideal selves, but still lose. Not only that, but they keep on projecting their ideals on others. And yet, these others also fail. So, what to do? The only choice is to let go of unreachable perfect paragons.

FALLEN QUEEN AND RUSTED KNIGHT

Weiss: I am a citizen of a fallen Kingdom and an heir to nothing. I will not be defined by my name because I will be the one to define it. I am Weiss Schnee, and I am a Huntress!

NeoCat: You were never the brave knight either! Just more fairytale nonsense!

Weiss and Jaune's journey in the Ever After is about letting go of their Queen and Knight idealized self-images. In this way they can truly accept who they are. This is difficult at first because they are full of self-hate and regret:

Weiss: But it wasn't enough! We hatched a crazy plan that put a whole kingdom at risk, and we don't even know if we saved the Relics...

Jaune: I’m trying so hard to save them… I stopped them from becoming what they needed to be. I was being selfish because I… I wanted the rush of rescuing someone and I got that here.

Still, they both work through it in 2 ways.

They face their traumas again:

Weiss: I am so tired of leaving places in ashes…

Jaune: On that bridge… I was the only one that could do it! I was the ONLY ONE! And I… And now I have to live with that forever… In here or back home…

They change their dynamic with Ruby, who they put on a pedestal.

Specifically, Ruby becomes a paragon for both Weiss and Jaune during the Mistral arc. There, Weiss learns to be emotionally vulnerable with her partner. Jaune instead grows to admire Ruby's optimism and hopeful self.

So, after the fall of Atlas, both Weiss and Jaune go back to Ruby. Weiss lets out all her troubles, while Jaune dives after Crescent Rose and proudly gives it back.

However, Ruby is in no condition to play Weiss and Jaune's hero. This shows and it unnerves them, who grow progressively more irritated with Little Red:

Weiss: Hurry! People are counting on us!

Jaune: I know you may not care about protecting this village, but you could at least help your friends when they’re in danger.

Until Ruby herself snaps at the both of them. Interestingly, it is Weiss's demand that Ruby consoles Jaune, which sets her off. Moreover, throughout her monologue, Ruby calls Weiss out on her dependency on her:

Ruby: What about me? “No time”, right? “Gotta get home!” “Gotta help Jaune!” Gotta find someone who isn’t just going to screw everything up!

And she lashes out against Jaune's hero complex:

Ruby: I’m sorry, is this a bad time? Are we supposed to be mourning Jaune’s make-believe friends?!

She pintpoints both their flaws and then runs away. It is Ruby's outburst, though, which wakes up Weiss and Jaune.

Weiss finally realizes Ruby's pain and empathizes with her. Her words clearly have an impact on Jaune too:

Weiss: Ruby has always been the one to get us through the hard times. We say things like “We believe in you”, “We can count on you”. I know we mean well, but…

They both let go of their idealization of Ruby, which in turns helps them with their own struggles:

Weiss: I think you’re asking too much of yourself. We’ve been telling ourselves that failing means we’re no good. But I can guarantee even the best Huntsmen in history… they’ve all lost. But they were still incredibly brave… and good.

In front of a genial ruby, Weiss and Jaune manage to move forward through each other.

Jaune is spiritually guided and shown empathy by Weiss. Weiss instead starts healing psychologically by helping Jaune. In a sense, this is a parallel and an inversion of their shared moment in volume 5. There Jaune finds himself strong enough to cure Weiss. Here Weiss finds herself wise enough to teach Jaune. Both are in a self-hate spiral, but then realize they are better than they think by saving the other. At the same time, this moment also calls back Jaune's "vision" in Lost. There Jaune is shown the way by a Pyrrha stand-in. Here Weiss steps into the role of spiritual adviser.

After spending the whole volume looking for someone to guide her, Weiss discovers she can be the guide. After spending the whole volume wanting to be the hero, Jaune realizes he is the one that needed help the whole time.

They both learn the main theme of the volume:

Jaune: Maybe that Cat was right… Maybe I just needed to accept it. It’s not a place you go.

They reach acceptance of who they are. Both their good traits and their negative traits. They accept they did their best, but also that they lost. And once they do, they become able to better accept others, as well:

Jaune: I think I get it. This is how we got here, or… why the Tree brought us here. Acceptance.

Weiss: We've done everything we can. Now it's up to Ruby. Whatever happens next… we have to welcome that.

Not only do they let go of their idealized self-images, but of Ruby's too. This is why they are ready to welcome her, no matter what. Strengths and limits, alike.

Thanks to their inner development, they both get to make another step into self-actualization. This growth is shown symbolically in the finale . Weiss is finally able to summon a full Nevermore, which combines all her previous glyphs (so it is symbolic of the self). Jaune accepts Alyx's hand and goes back to his real self through her (he goes from iron to mercury). These are glimpses of who Weiss and Jaune are going to finally become.

SOPHIA AND HERMES

Curious Cat: Looking at you, wise huntress.

Alyx: Maybe it’s time for a change, to be the kind of man you always wanted to be.

So, who are Weiss and Jaune going to be at the end of their journey? It is still too soon to say, but I would not be surprised if they were to become Sophia and Hermes to each other.

Who are Hermes and Sophia? They are the embodyments of a perfected animus and a perfected anima. In short, by the end of their psychological development, a woman should integrate with Hermes and a man should integrate with Sophia. Personally I think (wish) Weiss is stepping in the role of Sophia for Jaune, while Jaune is stepping in the role of Hermes for Weiss. Volume 9 might have given symbolic hints of this.

Weiss is directly associated with wisdom, which is what Sophia means.

Jaune goes from iron to mercury through Alyx and Mercury is just another way to call Hermes. Moreover, one of the symbols of Hermes in alchemy is a stag and well... Juniper resembles one.

Now, this final integration can be romantic (my preference) or platonic/individualistic (if they chicken out). What is sure is that it's going to happen, one way or another. It is just the cherry on top on a animus/anima story.

Snowhite and the Animus

Snowhite is the story of a child growing up. The first step in self-actualization is to stop identifying with the Mother, so the mirror image changes. This transformation generates an inner conflict. On the one hand there is the side who wants to grow up (Snowhite), on the other hand there is the side who doesn't wanna change (the Evil Queen). It is only by conquering the Evil Queen (the shadow), that Snowhite can truly become herself.

And how does she do it? She succeeds through an integration with her animus (masculine side):

The King is absent and doesn't help Snowhite

The Hunter appears and helps Snowhite

The Dwarves give Snowhite a home

The Prince saves Snowhite

As you can see, Snowhite's story is full of male characters and each new one is more helpful than the one before. This is because all these characters are representations of Snowhite's interiority and of her strenghtening animus. It is initially possessed, but then it progressively blooms until it saves the protagonist.

Now, this is just Weiss's story in a nutshell:

Willow is absent and Weiss's animus is possessed (The Arma Gigas she fights in the White Trailer)

Winter helps her and inspires Weiss to pursue her career as a Huntress (After her visit Weiss summons a part of her Knight)

Team RWBY welcomes Weiss and become her adoptive home and family (Weiss becomes herself through them)

Only the Prince is missing and it will probably be Jaune (he already is in volume 5). Wait, aren't all these characters women? Yes, they are because Weiss's fairy tale is all genderbent except her. So, why should Weiss's Prince be Jaune? Because in his case, he is the genderbent one :P

Jaune can be Weiss's Prince (again platonically or romantically) only if he fully blooms into Jeanne first. He can't be a real Knight, if he doesn't become a Maiden.

The Four Stages of Anima

Jaune's journey through the anima is well conveyed through 4 stages, which stand for archetypical female figures. Each one represents a different level of maturity:

Eve is the mother - The boy has no romantic attachment and sees the woman as a source of protection and nourishment

Helen is the seductress - The boy feels romantic attraction and sees the woman as a talented individual, but pays no attention to her spiritual or inner life

Mary is the virgin - The boy fells mature love and sees the woman as a paragon of virtue, but pays no attention to her negative traits

Sophia is wisdom - The boy is ready for a relationship with a woman as an equal partner and sees the feminine as a source of wisdom with no need to objectify the woman anymore

This scale describes Jaune's relationship with the feminine perfectly:

Eve is Pyrrha - she nurtures and protects him as a mentor and Jaune feels initially no attraction to her

Weiss is Helen - she is Jaune's first crush and he grows enough to see her as a talented person, but can't understand her inner world

Mary is Pyrrha - she becomes Jaune's guide and the embodyment of heroism and virtue

Only Sophia is missing and I think she will be Weiss. In general, though, these phases describe Jaune's general approach to women and how it changes. He arrives at Beacon looking for a girlfriend because that is what a man should do, which in itself is a very childish behavior. Then he grows to see the girls around him as powerful individuals, but he can't go behind the surface. This is true for Weiss, but also for Pyrrha, whose struggles he ignores. After her death, Pyrrha becomes an ideal, but she isn't the only one. For example, Jaune believes Weiss and Ruby can save Pyrrha from Cinder and later on he keeps idealizing them. In volume 9, he learns to let go of his idealization and to see others as their own people. He is stepping into Sophia (wisdom).

MIRROR MIRROR

I looked in the mirror And I gotta say It’s been a long long time Since I felt this way

Weiss and Jaune go through perfect mirror journeys, which are about recognizing others to see their own selves and vice versa. This is why Weiss's mirror mirror motif works so well for them.

They don't know who they are (mirror tell me who am I?)

They realize they dislike their current selves (mirror tell me who is the loneliest of all? I am the loneliest of all)

They work to change (mirror I'll tell you something, I might change it all)

They overcome their narcisism rooted in self-loathing (I'm shattering the mirror that keps me split in pieces)

Now that they can see who they are better, the next step is to probably see others more clearly. This is the secondary theme of the volume, after all: empathy.

Ruby breaks Summer's pedestal and as a result she can see herself better. In turn, this makes her able to look at others in a new light:

Weiss and Jaune do the same. They break Ruby's pedestal and show empathy and forgiveness for themselves and her. Still, this is framed as just the beginning. The theme of empathy is probably gonna be explored in later volumes. This is true for both Ruby's arc and Weiss and Jaune's stories.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the next mirror mirror song is a conversation not with the mirror, but with another person? A person that is a mirror, but not because stuck inside it like Weiss in the beginning. A person, who is a mirror because every person can be a mirror of another if looked at with empathy. And this is what beating the mirror really means. Not to look at ourselves through it, but to look at ourselves through others. And to accept them. And to accept us.

[newty]

anyway thinking abt homophobia in valisthea

which means thinking abt sex-related misogyny in valisthea. bc imo there is way too much sexual violence against women and focus on women as sexual figures w sexual drama in this game for it to not bleed over into how it feels abt two men kissing (not gonna go into a lesbian reading bc it exits my scope)

like. anabella only being a vessel for children, benedikta using sex to control titan/feel loved by barny but also being threatened w rape twice(?) by men, jill awakening shiva when she's almost raped by a man + other rosarian girls are raped, the constant winkwink sexy references w isabella, the offscreen women moaning in the oriflamme brothel, sylvester killing his wife n mistress after they outlived any sexual service to him, barny's mom referenced in an easily interpretable sexual manner, etc etc

simultaneously the narrative does its best to present the veil as a morally neutral institution w benefits to the function of northreach. the discussion between the male sex worker and the male guard was deliberately placed, too, and gives an interesting view into affection and money. theres a couple more men in veil garb that arent presented as out of place.

which is all failed by rest of the worldbuilding imo. only male customers visit the veil. sex is still regarded as a sneaky taboo subject. every country has a male monarch and occupations are firmly divided by gender. the primary hinge of benedikta's relationship w hugo is the fact that hugo feels in charge, which helps culturally ascribe dominance as a masculine trait.

if women are so widely regarded as unequal on sexual terms (and, relatedly, on societal terms), certain expectations must also exist on the male side.

we dont really see much tension in the male characters performing masculinity--other than the huge unnatural vibes sleipnir gives off by mincing around--but we do see barny kneel before ultima in a rly sexually charged scene. his subservience is presented as an unexpected weak facet of his character, where he's desperate and obliging and uncertain. it's a private scene that works off its own uncanniness, so it functions a little bit more as a narrative piece than a societal mirror. but I don't think that removes it from the discussion, and i think its odd character is a stark contrast to the clarity we're given in dion and terence's kiss scene.

a sort of clarity, i guess. dion and terence talk abt power dynamics in class instead of sexual role or gender. there's still the words 'master' and 'servant' pinned on the wall w like 3 different undertones, so its easy to unravel that into different understandings of their relationship to class, duty, and romantic/sexual identity. i dont think its productive to split hairs abt who tops, but i think its reasonable to interpret that they feel secure in w/e service they give to the other. this is in spite of the societal understanding that dominance is inherently masculine and correct, and that subservience is feminine and not as acceptable.

i know enough abt queer history to know that the security & fulfillment i interpret them as having is simultaneously as rare as it is common depending on where you look. no matter what one does in the private sphere, the public view will influence it, and it's determined by the case who will feel negatively or positively abt themselves bc of it.

ultimately i see valisthea in the respect of a society that views queerness as undesirable but not smth ur gonna be burned at the stake for. im also fully operating under my own preference for queer narratives that labor under external & internal homophobic conflicts. it's fully supportable to decide that valisthea lacks homophobia as well, and its not less like wish fulfillment to have it that way or the other.

[rollercoasterwords]

coed schooling or activities are actually often detrimental to girls, forcing them into support roles for their male peers. you can idealize that everyone is hurt under gender and patriarchy, but they are not hurt equally.

i'm assuming this is in response to the tags on the question i answered about girl scouts/girl guides? because other than that post i have not talked about sex-segregated schooling at all on this blog as far as i'm aware lol. but sure, whatever, let's get into it

coed schooling or activities are actually often detrimental to girls, forcing them into support roles for their male peers

right off the bat, if this is something you wanted to have a real conversation about, i'd ask you to refine what you're referring to--"or activities" is an incredibly broad category. are we talking about coed sports teams? summer camps? playdates? choirs? i'd probably have different thoughts depending on how you refine this category, so i'm going to table that part of your ask right now and focus only on schooling in my response.

the idea that girls perform better in sex-segregated schools is something i've heard before. but the actual research, as far as i'm aware, is inconclusive. here's an aclu article giving a brief overview of the disagreement within the research. i don't personally have the time to undertake a literature review of the field just to answer a tumblr ask, but one thing i'd say it's important to be aware of--in studies making this claim, what is their sample size? how are they measuring "achievement"? and, importantly, what other factors could be influencing their results? it's impossible to have two schools that are completely identical in every way except sex segregation, so we need to look at possible mitigating variables. is the sex-segregated school being studied a private school in a wealthier area? are the class sizes smaller? are the teaching methods different? do the students have more stable home lives? considering that there will always be these other variables to take into consideration, i'm not particularly compelled by any study making a sweeping claim that girls will always do better in sex-segregated environments, especially considering the conflicting research that already exists on the subject.

that being said, i do think it's important to discuss how sexism pervades school environments and how socializing children to fit certain gender roles from a young age impacts the ways they interact with each other. but even to the extent that young girls feel pressured to take on a "support role," i don't think segregating schools based on sex is a particularly useful solution. it may treat some of the symptoms of sexism, sure, but it doesn't treat the underlying cause: the gender roles these children have been socialized to conform to in the first place. (also, like--if the solution here is "all schools should be sex-segregated," do you honestly think that would result in an equitable allocation of resources amongst those sex-segregated schools?) personally, i think it would be more useful in most cases to actively work with kids to break those gender roles, rather than dividing them into "boys" and "girls" in a way that reifies the idea that such roles are inescapable. additionally, there are plenty of other factors that could be affecting girl's educational achievement that wouldn't be addressed simply by removing boys from the equation; things like how much funding their schools get, the size of classes, the teaching methods, etc. i don't think sex-segregation is a particularly wholistic approach to addressing this issue. not to mention the ways in which it fails to account for trans and intersex children.

you can idealize that everyone is hurt under gender and patriarchy, but they are not hurt equally

i'm not sure how intentional your word choice is here, but i'm not "idealizing" anything. saying that everyone is harmed by gender essentialism and patriarchy is a statement of fact. i have never argued that that harm is "equal," so i'm really not sure where you're getting that impression from; i think i'm usually pretty intentional about focusing on the fact that material harm varies under patriarchy and that different people will have varying investment and gain varying power from the institution. in fact, it's because this harm varies so greatly that i tend to be wary of sweeping generalizations about what all girls/all women/etc will experience under patriarchy--i think when we make those kinds of generalizations, we tend to end up privileging one certain kind of experience, and that one certain kind usually tends to be white, wealthy, cis, etc.

at the end of the day, when it comes to addressing problems with sexism, i think that any solution which reifies gender essentialism will not lead to liberation. that is a pretty fundamental stance to everything i talk about on this blog, and if that's something you're in absolute disagreement with then you probably shouldn't be here.

[sanchoworm]

To further add on to the Limbus chain:

Ishmael.

If we were to shove aside the queerness of the character and focus on the book she is based off of alone (which is BLATANTLY gay as HELL since it's MOBY DICK) the PROXIMITY of such literature would make this game at LEAST a yellow in the eyes of the spreadsheet. And Ishmael is based on... you guessed it! One of the blatantly gay characters!!!

Further adding on to the Don Quixote point: I really don't have to say anything about Canto 7. I'll just talk about the song Hero. "Why is it that some were given the role of villain? The moment that they were released into the system~"

Label that as being about race, sexuality, gender, minorities in general, whatever the FUCK and whether you know the story of Canto 7 does not change the wokeness of that line.

Also the Lion, Panther, and the one other tutorial villain you meet? All go by they/them with unconfirmed gender. Likely for a logical non-identity reason... but seeing some of the games on the woke list definitely tells me that if this was acknowledged, it'd be up there.

Also since they also count women in authority and women with equal/more physical/mental prowess than men... even the main cast fits in that shoe. The identities do not discriminate by gender, either. All women can get jobs as fixers (essentially mercenaries)

And they are never shown to under-perform in comparison to their male coworkers. All represented as a personal failing rather than that of their sex. Neither is gender or sex really acknowledged in the workplace.

Hell, even the FACT that sex and gender barely means a thing in The City with only remnants of socialization from these concepts could be considered woke.

[asktheharmony]

HARMONY PEARCE auditioning with: SO GOOD from BRATZ ROCK ANGELZ

wait, is that HARMONY PEARCE? they kinda look a lot like ZION MORENO, don’t they? i heard the TWENTY TWO year old is known as THE CHILD STAR around mckinley. it seems like they auditioned to be VOCAL ADRENALINE which is so lame? people at campus have said they’re +GENEROUS, but don’t be fooled since they’re also -TWO FACED. rumor has it, you can find them at DANCE CLUB AND GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE when they aren’t belting show tunes. their entire vibe revolves around MATCHING YOUR SHOES TO YOUR QUIRKY BERET, THE SHUFFLE OF TAP SHOES, THE FAKEST SMILE YOU’VE EVER SEEN AND A RED LIPSTICK KISS but no one pays attention to that here in ohio.

Harmony will let you within seconds of meeting her that she has been performing since before she was born. Literally. Her ultrasound was used on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy and she played the role of a kidnapped newborn baby on an episode of SVU when she was two months old. Her parents had been child stars themselves; meeting on the set of a pilot for a failed Disney show that didn’t get picked up. But Harmony was going to be different! She was gonna break into the industry and become a star!

Throughout her life, Harmony has played many minor roles in commercials and crime TV shows, but she’s never booked anything big. Because of this, she took the turn into musical theatre as she thought she could have more success there. Taking as many dance and acting classes as she could, and her parents even homeschooling her from age 11 so she could both focus on her transition and on her career, Harmony didn’t really have much of a childhood at all. She especially didn’t have any friends, and not much is different today. She views the members of Vocal Adrenaline as her teammates and everyone else is competition.

Harmony knows how she comes off. Like a real bitch. And she doesn’t really care. She’s not making friends, she’s networking. Everyone she meets is a means to an end in the industry to her, despite how much she’d secretly love for someone to see her as a friend.

BASICS:

FULL NAME:  harmony louisa pearce

GENDER:  trans woman

PRONOUNS:  she/her

SEXUALITY:  heterosexual

AGE:  twenty two

DATE OF BIRTH:  1st of october

ZODIAC SIGN:  libra

TITLE:  the child star

OCCUPATION: student

GLEE CLUB: vocal adrenaline

MAJOR: musical theatre

PERSONALITY:

LIKES:  musical theatre, listing her imdb credits, being the best at something, red velvet flavor, collecting playbills, pilates, decaf almond milk lattes

DISLIKES:  being proven wrong, having to do her makeup in the morning, being late, her lactose intolerance, the crippling fear of failure.

HIGH SCHOOL SUPERLATIVE: most likely to win an egot

FAVES:

ICE CREAM FLAVOUR: strawberry gelato

WEATHER: summer heat wave.

FOOD: apple pie

COLOURS: red, yellow, pink.

SONGS:  CAN BE FOUND HERE

[girl4music]

“You would be forgiven for thinking Willow is not as layered or interesting a character as Buffy until the midpoint of season 2 because she really doesn't get much focus in Season 1, with I Tarzan You Jane being the only real episode that centers around her. She doesn't seem to be anything other than the standard shy best friend / sidekick to the more self-confident main character girl. However that's yet another role Willow plays, because as someone who fears the spotlight, Willow has a tendency to hide in Buffy's shadow.

Willow is a shy introverted teen girl with low self-esteem who's basically only had one friend her entire life, until Buffy suddenly drops into her life in high school. Willow's life suddenly became "special" because Buffy was there and Buffy is special. She transforms from a geek with a few computer skills to a literal magic witch in later seasons. Buffy is the "chosen one" but Buffy chose Willow as her best friend in the first episode when she could have chosen Cordelia. Willow's compromise for wanting the spotlight for herself but being too afraid of it is to cling to Buffy instead, Willow isn't special but she becomes special by being Buffy's friend.

That's why this is the first episode where Willow starts to become her own character so to speak, because when Buffy is rendered useless by the spell into a typical damsel the role of leadership for the group falls onto Willow. When Willow is forced to take charge she's shown to be perfectly capable of doing so as long as Buffy's not around (she also stands up to Giles in Reptile Lizard Boy, and asserts herself more and more later on this season) so the problem isn't really that Willow's not capable of taking charge but she's not usually confident enough to. This is the first episode where Willow becomes the protagonist and Buffy the supporting character.

It's something that will happen again and again later on, Willow attempting to fill in Buffy's shoes. The season 3 opening she makes a pun and tries to stake a vampire the way Buffy does only to fail miserably. When Buffy is gone in season 6, Willow becomes the default head of the group. Willow is always in Buffy's shadow, but she's also shown to be perfectly capable of stepping out of that shadow on several occasions, it's just Willow herself who chooses to stay there.

Which really goes to show how deep Willow's fears and insecurities run. Willow is a hacker, she's smart enough to get into any college she wants, and yet Willow's opinion of herself is abysmally low, she's cripplingly afraid of what other people think of her.

Except on Halloween, the one special night you can choose to dress up like a slut and get away with it judgement free.”

Well written. That’s what I keep saying. Willow is an immensely layered and interesting character. I would say even more than Buffy in some ways actually.

You never see the “true” Willow because she’s always wearing a costume, playing a character and putting on a performance. And yet - through all of that…

You still get just Willow. You still get everything she is because it’s all part of what and who she is anyway.

Which is why what Giles says to her in ‘Lessons’ is so poignant for her character representation and arc.

“You are. In the end we all are who we are no matter how we may appear to have changed.”

“However, on top of that she somehow associates the experience of being a "Real" girl with powerlessness and depending on someone else. That being more traditionally feminine somehow goes hand in hand with weakness. Girls are after all traditionally the victims in horror movies, and when Buffy is playing the role of hero she can't be a victim.”

Yeah, this is the reason why I don’t like this episode. It’s clever in its use of themes and dichotomies and such but just this one thing about it really ruins it for me. I can’t enjoy watching it even if it’s Willow-centric. Because - in a show that praises Buffy for not being gender stereotypical - they still manage to undermine and even insult Buffy as a person for just being a girl. This is probably the only episode where Buffy’s femininity is called into question and it’s not good how they decide to execute her plotline and then resolve it. By basically telling her that being “like that” (aka a traditional girly girl) is something to be ashamed of.

“Ironically, the only man to show a clear preference for Buffy's normal self in the episode is Spike who films her and praises her at the beginning for her strength as a slayer. Then towards the end, when given the opportunity to kill her as the helpless damsel Spike spends way too long lingering on it instead of just snapping her neck, almost as if waiting for her to return to being her usual self.”

Yep. Made that point too. Literally every guy Buffy interacts with either romantically or platonically infantilizes or genderizes her…. Except Spike.

He is the only one that treats her as an equal. Sometimes even more than he is. Beneath her.

“Xander is almost as much of a victim of gendered expectations of the people around him as Buffy is. Xander is insecure about the fact that he's not performing the role of a man correctly, the same way that Buffy thinks she's not being a girl correctly.”

I have said that Xander is the only other main character where the theme of growing up is just as important for him as it is for Buffy. Willow is not so much concerned with growing up as she is with being her own person. Growing up is apart of it, yes, but not a significant amount like it is with Buffy and Xander. Growing up = growing out of immature impulsions. And that’s definitely very significant for Xander because he is constantly dealing with his immaturity.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: "HALLOWEEN"

The next episode in my episode by episode analysis of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, showing how individual episodes fit into the themes of the seasons they're a part of and the series as a whole. This is the first of several Halloween episodes that use the holiday to take a deeper look into the fears of the characters, and the costumes they wear not just on Halloween but every day in their normal lives.

1. Janus

The central theme of the episode revolves around the roman god Janus. Giles helpfully explains for us here.

Giles: Janus. Roman mythical god. Willow: What does this mean? Giles: Primarily the division of self. Male and female, light and dark. Ethan: (appears) Chunky and creamy. Oh, no, sorry, that's peanut butter.

Janus is the god of beginnings, transitions, dualities, and oorways. He's a two-faced god as shown in the idol that Ethan Rayne uses to cast his spell. More specifically he is the god of doors, the gates of an ancient building in Rome are named after him. As the god of Doors, he represents the middle ground between concrete and abstract dualities. Male/ Female, Light/Dark and Chunky and Creamy. These things are traditionally thought to be two abstract categories but the closer you look at them the more fuzzy the boundary line between them becomes.

A Binary Opposition is a pair of related terms or concepts that are opposite in meaning, where two opposites are strictly defined against one another. Up is defined as being the opposite of down. These are considered to be strict categories that are mutually exclusive from one another.

However, these sets can be seen as complementary forces, rather than contradictory to one another. You can't understand one without understanding the other. An example is one cannot conceive of 'good' if we do not understand 'evil'. These pairs which are seen as distinct opposites are actually complementary pairs which are needed to define each other.

Dualism, is the key word of this episode every single character in this episode has two faces. They are representing two sides of themselves, one is the face they wear on their everyday lives, the other is their hidden side that they only have the confidence to show on Halloween. Which one is the mask, and which is the real face that's first asked this episode and repeated again later on in the series.

The basic premise of this episode is that on Halloween you have the confidence to dress in a way you wouldn't normally dress for the rest of your life. This quote from a completely different show the Venture Bros does a good job of explaining it.

Orpheus: This is a night of true magic. Halloween is the night we discover who we are. Are wepeople who make zombie armies? Are we those who condemn others, or are we beautiful children in resplendent costumes collecting candy? Are our choices in costumes provocative? Do we dress up as our ideal self? Or are we not ready to decide who we want to be? We use this one enchanted night to perform the greatest feat of magic there is. We become ourselves. Halloween is the true magic it is the night we discover who we really are.

For Buffy this means dressing like a normal girl, for Xander it's dressing up like a more traditionally masculine tough guy soldier, and for Willow it's dressing a little slutty (until she loses confidence to do that).

Not only does each costume choice inform us about the characters, the characters are physically flipped. As a result of the spell making the halloween costumes flesh, the characters insides become their outsides and their outsides become their insides. I'll be breaking them down character by character down blow.

2. Willow: The Ghost Girl

Willow's costume for the night is based on that old joke that girls dress up sluttier on Halloween because it's the one night of the year they're allowed to get away from it without being judged.

Buffy: What'd you get? Willow: A time-honored classic! (holds up a ghost costume) Buffy: Okay, Will, can I give you a little friendly advice? Willow: It's not spooky enough? Buffy: It's just... you're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding. You're missing the whole point of Halloween. Willow: (smiles) Free candy? Buffy: It's come as you aren't night. The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions. Willow: Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz. Buffy: Don't underestimate yourself. You've got it in you.

Buffy mentions that Willow is hiding, which is an interesting word to use here because you could say that shy, introverted Willow spends most of her life hiding from the spotlight. Just a few episodes ago Willow's choice of outfit to wear for the school dance in Inca Mummy Girl is emblematic of this behavior, on a night she can wear anything she chooses to wear a giant snow parka that hides most of her body. To a dance which she was hoping Xander would ask her to, and got jealous when he noticed another girl (the mummy girl) and asked her to the dance instead.

Willow is made up of these two contradictory desires. She wants to stay out of the spotlight, but she wants to be noticed as well. Unlike most of the pairs we're going to discuss in this post these two things are mutually exclusive. As Buffy points out "You're never going to get noticed if you keep hiding."

Male and female don't contradict each other, you can be both male and female because male and female are just made up categories that are more ambiguous than most people believe them to be. However, you can't get noticed if you're hiding yourself, because well you're hidden. It's a having your cake and eating it too sort of deal.

Perhaps reflecting how contradictory and complicated Willow's core desires are, she's the only one dressed up as two different costumes. She at first dresses in the more revealing costume Buffy suggests, but then hides it with a traditional white bedsheet ghost costume. Willow is dressed up as two different things because she wants to have it both ways. Giles even comments on the confusing nature of her costume.

Giles: (confused) A-and, uh, your, your costume? Willow: I'm a ghost! Giles: Yes. Um... w, uh, uh, uh, the ghost of what, exactly?

Willow wants to be noticed for who she is, and in general be the kind of self-confident person that Buffy seems to be so naturally, but she's constantly sabotaged by her fear of judgement. When people notice you they will judge you whether you want them to or not. It's not a coincidence that Willow dresses up in costumes again and again, in story. Wearing costumes / theatre / performance is a recurring motife for her, you see Willow's got a bad case of stage fright.

In the first episode where characters deal with their deepest fears, S1E10 Nightmares, Willow's nightmare is being forced to perform the opera Madame Butterfly on stage in front of everyone when she doesn't know the lines.

STAGE MANAGER: Man, I thought you weren't going to show. Aldo's beside himself. M. C.'S VOICE: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to present two of the world's greatest singers… STAGE MANAGER: I hope you're warmed up. It's an ugly crowd. All the reviewers showed up. M.C.'S VOICE …all the way from Firenze, Italy, the one and only Aldo Gianfranco… The stage manager drags Willow to the curtain. She peers out to see: WILLOW'S POV - A RATHER LARGE AUDIENCE is waiting. Willow backs away from the curtain, starting to hyperventilate. M.C.'S VOICE… and all the way from Sunnydale, California, the world's finest soprano, Willow Rosenberg! WILLOW: But… I didn't learn the words…

As I said performance is a recurring motie for her character. The definition of a motif is a distinctive feature or dominant idea in an artistic or literary composition. Willow's character revolves around the idea of theatre and performnace it just keeps coming up with her, later on in the dream symbolism episode of Season 4 "Restless" Willow is once again forced to step up on stage when she doesn't know the lines. Her dream is once again showing up to the first day of drama class only to learn that everyone is putting on a production of Death of Salesman with a cowboy in it, and she doesn't know any of the lines. Giles also has this to say about acting and the word "hiding" is brought up again.

GILES: Acting is not about behaving, it's about hiding. The audience wants to find you, strip you naked, and eat you alive, so hide. GILES: Now, costumes, sets, um, the things that you, uh, you know, uh, you, um... you hold them, you touch them, uh, use them, um... HARMONY: Props? GILES: No. RILEY: Props? GILES: Yes! (Points at Riley) It's all about subterfuge. (To Harmony) That's very annoying. (To everyone) Now go on out there, lie like dogs, and have a wonderful time. Now, if we can stay in focus, keep our heads, and if Willow can stop stepping on everyone's cues, I know this'll be the best production of "Death of a Salesman".

Willow's dream also has this repeating line, said by many different characters.

BUFFY: (to Willow) Your costume is perfect. (Whispers) Nobody's gonna know the truth. You know, about you. WILLOW: (bemused) Costume? BUFFY: (pouting) You're already in character! Oh, I shoulda done that! [...] BUFFY: (straightens up) Play is long over. (Stares at Willow) Why are you still in costume? WILLOW: Okay, still having to explain wherein this is just my outfit. (Gesturing to her clothes) BUFFY: Willow, everybody already knows. Take it off.

People constantly refer to Willow as being "in costume" when she's just wearing her normal everyday clothes. Giles says that acting is just the art of lying and hiding who you are in front of everybody, and Willow's default behavior is to always hide in the shadows. Willow's everyday self is just as much of a costume as the costume she wears on Halloween.

You would be forgiven for thinking Willow is not as layered or interesting a character as Buffy until the midpoint of season 2 because she really doesn't get much focus in Season 1, with I Tarzan You Jane being the only real episode that centers around her. She doesn't seem to be anything other than the standard shy best friend / sidekick to the more self-confident main character girl. However that's yet another role Willow plays, because as someone who fears the spotlight, Willow has a tendency to hide in Buffy's shadow.

Willow is a shy introverted teen girl with low self-esteem who's basically only had one friend her entire life, until Buffy suddenly drops into her life in high school. Willow's life suddenly became "special" because Buffy was there and Buffy is special. She transforms from a geek with a few computer skills to a literal magic witch in later seasons. Buffy is the "chosen one" but Buffy chose Willow as her best friend in the first episode when she could have chosen Cordelia. Willow's compromise for wanting the spotlight for herself but being too afraid of it is to cling to Buffy instead, Willow isn't special but she becomes special by being Buffy's friends.

That's why this is the first episode where Willow starts to become her own character so to speak, because when Buffy is rendered useless by the spell into a typical damsel the role of leadership for the group falls onto Willow. When Willow is forced to take charge she's shown to be perfectly capable of doing so as long as Buffy's not around (she also stands up to Giles in Reptile Lizard Boy, and asserts herself more and more later on this season) so the problem isn't really that Willow's not capable of taking charge but she's not usually confident enough to. This is the first episode where Willow becomes the protagonist and Buffy the supporting character.

It's something that will happen again and again later on, Willow attempting to fill in Buffy's shoes. The season 3 opening she makes a pun and tries to stake a vampire the way Buffy does only to fail miserably. When Buffy is gone in season 6, Willow becomes the default head of the group. Willow is always in Buffy's shadow, but she's also shown to be perfectly capable of stepping out of that shadow on several occasions, it's just Willow herself who chooses to stay there.

Which really goes to show how deep Willow's fears and insecurities run. Willow is a hacker, she's smart enough to get into any college she wants, and yet Willow's opinion of herself is abysmally low, she's cripplingly afraid of what other people think of her.

Except on Halloween, the one special night you can choose to dress up like a slut and get away with it judgement free.

2. Buffy: The Normal Girl

While Willow gets to play the hero for the night, Buffy gets to be the damsel-in-distress being rescued by others instead of doing the rescuing. Buffy's desire to be a normal girl and how being the slayer keeps her from a normal life where all she has to worry about is which boy she's going to the dance with is a long running theme with her character, but there are some interesting themes with gender going on with Buffy and Xander's characters this episode.

The central "idea" of Buffy is that Buffy as a blonde high schooler would usually be the first victim in a horror movie, the girl running away from the slasher but instead she's the thing monsters run away from. Certain episodes play with this idea by changing her back to her more traditional role and show just how weird and out of character that is for Buffy. This episode she's practically helpless for the entire episode. There's an episode in season 3 where she loses her powers as the slayer, and spends the entire episode losing all confidence in herself because she lacks the strength to fight back against monsters and other men and is made to feel like a victim. In Season 5 there's "Superstar" where Jonathan makes himself the main character of Buffy by using magic to turn the world into his self-insert fanfic, and despite still being around Buffy acts more like a sidekick or "The chick" of the group despite the fact she's supposed to be the slayer.

Buffy is a girl in a main character role that's usually given to guys. It's a thing both the writers and audience are aware of. It shouldn't be weird that the chosen one is a girl, and yet because of the gender imbalance in fiction it sort of is. That's why characters sometimes ask questions like "How come there aren't any boy slayers?"

However, Buffy being a female character occupying a role usually reserved for main characters is also commented upon in universe by the males in her life. Xander's season 1 arc is him dealing with the fact that Buffy is not the love interest to his story and doesn't conform to his desires of her and accepting her as a friend. Xander gets a flash of that tendency of his rearing its ugly head again when Xander gets mad at Buffy for standing up to him when a jock was about to beat him up, because it'd apparently be better to be beaten up then saved by a girl.

Buffy always wants to be a normal girl, but I think it's important to see in this episode why she wants to dress like a princess from the 1800s this episode. It comes from two of the men in her life making her insecure about her femininity. Xander by complaining about a girl rescuing him, and Angel's lack of attention making her believe she needs to act more like the type of girl that he would be into. Buffy's not just trying to dress up as a normal girl this episode but the kind of girl that would be worthy of angel's attention. What she thinks he wants in a girl.

ANGEL: I don't get it Buffy. Why did you think I'd like you better dressed that way? BUFFY: I - I just wanted to be a real girl, for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age.

While Angel says that he likes the kind of exciting girl Buffy is now far better, I think it says something about both Angel and Xander that the kind of girl Buffy thinks they want her to be is someone helpless.

XANDER: You're sure she came this way? ANGEL: No. CORDELIA: She'll be okay. ANGEL: BUFFY would be okay. Whoever she is now, she's helpless. Come on.

Which I think says a lot about Buffy that number one being who she is, disqualifies her from being a "real" girl. There's the fact that she naturally as the slayer sees herself as always existing outside of the crowds watching other people live their lives and protecting them while she can't live hers. However, on top of that she somehow associates the experience of being a "Real" girl with powerlessness and depending on someone else. That being more traditionally feminine somehow goes hand in hand with weakness. Girls are after all traditionally the victims in horror movies, and when Buffy is playing the role of hero she can't be a victim.

Which is you know a whole can of worms, but also effective foreshadowing for the second half of the season. Season 2 is so well-written because there are so many red flags for what is going to happen in the midway twist, and yet the characters drive straight past them. The foreshadowing in this episode being that "normal girl" or "princess Buffy" isn't just scared of vampires and everything that moves, she's also scared of Angel despite Cordelia's insistence he's one of the good guy vampires.

BUFFY: (Re: Angel) He's… he's a vampire! CORDELIA: (to Angel) She's got this thing where she thinks - ah, forget it. (humoring her) It's okay. Angel is… a good vampire. He'd never hurt you. BUFFY: He - really?

Cordelia saying Angel is a good vampire who'd never hurt her sounds awfully ominous knowing that Angel becomes the main antagonist of this season.

It's not a coincidence either that the traditional proper kind of girl that Buffy dresses up as looks almost exactly like Drusilla, even wearing a brown wig to match her hair color. Angel even says at the end of this episode that he hated the kind of girl that Buffy dressed up when he was a teenager, and then details to Buffy in the next episode his obsession with corrupting Drusilla's purity.

Buffy like Willow fails to reconcile these two opposing sides of her. She can't be a normal girl if she's the slayer. She can't be a real girl if she's strong enough to make the men in her life feel insecure. It's almost like being a girl is yet another costume, a performance you make in front of an audience and Buffy feels like she's doing that badly. Not only that but men are continually making her feel that way too, either by being completely emotionally unavailable like Angel, or by getting mad at her like Xander for refusing to conform to her expectations.

Ironically, the only man to show a clear preference for Buffy's normal self in the episode is Spike who films her and praises her at the beginning for her strength as a slayer. Then towards the end, when given the opportunity to kill her as the helpless damsel Spike spends way too long lingering on it instead of just snapping her neck, almost as if waiting for her to return to being her usual self.

ON SPIKE & BUFFY: As he looks around him to see that his MINIONS are all SCARED LITTLE TRICK-ORTREATERS (and two high school students). The realization sinks in - and he looks at his hand. It's still holding Buffy's wig, buther head isn't in it. He looks back at Buffy. She's smiling. BUFFY: Hi Honey. I'm home. And she LETS LOOSE on him. All the pent-up rage and frustration from her last defenseless hours comes pouring out. A series of BRUTAL KICKS and PUNCHES send him to the ground. She lifts him back to his feet BUFFY:You know what? It's good to be me.

As Spike is acting as both Buffy's mortal enemy and shadow self, his reluctance to kill her when she's not herself and respect for her real self goes hand in hand with Buffy's self-acceptance when she changes back. Buffy does like and accept her power, and feels confident in that fact, but often represses that side of herself because women aren't really supposed to be confident in themselves in that way. Buffy's desire to be strong and to accept her strength and make it hers is therefore repressed to please the other people in her life and so she can pass off as normal and that repressed aspect of herself manifests in Spike, her shadow self's admiration for that same power.

Spike is even the one who tears off her costume reverting her back to her real self.

The other men in the episode also learn to appreciate the real Buffy after spending the entire episode dealing with the annoying damsel version of her, but they have to learn that lesson where Spike is the only one praising her for her abilities from the start. Because Spike is the shadow self, he's Buffy's self reflection whereas Xander and Angel represent the judgement of other people on her.

One last thing I would like to say is that both sides of Buffy are real, both the normal girl and the slayer. I think there's something deeply sad about this episode that implies that there's a screaming girl inside of Buffy, who does feel scared and helpless in the face of the monsters in her life but she can never allow herself to feel that fear because she has to be strong. The scared little girl half of Buffy is just as real as the strong, self-confident pun-making slayer.

3. Xander: Soldier Guy

This is going to be the shortest section, because Xander, but I would like to note that as a character Xander works best when you realize he basically has no proper masculine role models in his life. His father is abusive, Giles makes it clear he doesn't like him, there's no one at home or school to demonstrate what a normal and healthy adult man acts like.

Teenage boys like Xander don't grow up in a vaccuum, and Xander acts the way he does towards Buffy not out of malice, but out of a deep seeded insecurity. Xander, like Willow is worried about what other people will think. It's better to be beaten up by a school jock then to be rescued by a girl not because he thinks Buffy should be weak, but because he thinks other people will think he is weak.

When Xander's not worrying about what other people think, he's shown to be perfectly fine with having mostly female friends and not dating any of them. Xander is almost as much of a victim of gendered expectations of the people around him as Buffy is. Xander is insecure about the fact that he's not performing the role of a man correctly, the same way that Buffy thinks she's not being a girl correctly.

If Willow is perfectly capable of being a leader and being self confident like Buffy is but usually hides in the shadow, Xander is perfectly capable of being brave. He doesn't need to be soldier guy or to carry a gun because he will jump right into danger alongside Buffy like it's no big deal. The only person who thinks it's a big deal is Xander, because he's suffering under the societal expectation that he needs to be physically strong.

It's like Xander thinks there is an imaginary checklist of things he needs to have to be a proper man and he feels insecure when he doesn't have them. He needs to date a girlfriend in high school. He needs to be the physically strongest. He has an incorrect expectation informed by the society around him. It's not weird that Buffy is the main character and hero, but people think it's weird because the main character usually would have been Xander. The normal high school boy in any other story would hvae turned out to be the chosen one and the girl he liked would have started like him back, but Buffy is not that story.

Xander doesn't need to be soldier boy because he's always someone who will fight by Bufy's die, but just like BUffy and Willow the only time he feels confident enough to dress up like Solider Boy is Halloween.

[vergess]

Mina Harker: Omni Mommy

Or, Mina Harker has a mommy-domme kink so powerful it literally warps reality around her.

Content warnings:

This is going to discuss a lot of what you might call "period typical sexism" and discussion of Victorian politics. Please remember that this will be focusing primarily on white, middle class women's politics because that is the framework Stoker himself invokes with Mina. This political framing is demeaning to all women and marginalizing to anyone outside the white middle class. It's a very narrow focus, set by the author.

Let's break this down by character, because otherwise it will be impossible to navigate.

Mina:

Mina is a married, adult woman. Victorian culture already equates this with motherhood more or less automatically. A girl is an unmarried child. A woman is a married mother. Those are the frameworks. It's some fuckery, to be honest, and the long legacy of this limiting binary of roles continues to this day.

But the point is, the very framework of her role screams "mother" in the era and context she was written. Also she literally works with children to raise them. She's a teacher. That's the most maternal of the middle class working positions a woman could take in this era.

Lucy:

Lucy's role as the innocent child is well established. In spite of being 19 and engaged to wed, even. This is in part because there were only two morally just roles for women in the era. The girl/maiden/virgin, and the woman/wife/mother. Being a wife and a mother were the defining characteristics of being a woman. If an unmarried "woman" was to be trusted as morally legitimate, she needed to be young, innocent, and virginal.

Lucy is constantly referred to as a child, even. And her actual mother is (for understandable reasons) utterly negligent in caretaking for her. So, Mina steps into the role. Mina is explicitly performing the house and childcare duties that Lucy's Mother cannot, including managing Lucy's sleepwalking, sleeping in the same room with her, etc.

It is only when Mina's motherly care is removed (for the only other legitimate moral reason: marriage) that Lucy ultimately cannot be saved. Had Mina stayed with Lucy for another week or two, ther eis little doubt that Dracula's other work in London would draw him to the easier and more abundant prey. Remeber: Lucy wasn't special, she was easy. And without a mother to protect her, Lucy died. This echoes the Romanian mother who was likewise lauded by the narrative as a mother-protector-hero even as she failed.

Jonathan:

Malewife. He literally almost died of Victorian Dying Woman Disease. I could leave this here, but I do want to underline that Mina's mother-protector stuff gets invoked so strongly with Jonathan that the Harkers become actually, legitimiately gender nonconforming for the era. But, because Stoker is specifically framing them as the heroes, their gender nonconformity is mentioned often enough, but immediately discarded.

Also, let's talk about his dick for a minute.

Jonathan Harker's Dick is the reason Mina is the most sexually competent character in the narrative. In fact, I think one could argue that she's the only person in Dracula who fucks. (Obviously, Jonathan is the bottom).

This is because she and Jonathan are the only characters morally allowed to have sex, and of them, Mina is the only one who has not been involved in a sexually transgressive and traumatic scenario.

But it's also very interesting because the sexual implications that surround them (eg, they have the same bed at the asylum, their marriage is suggested to have been consummated at the nun hospital, etc etc) are all… you know. Healthy. Normal. Passing mentions that don't require anything more. Not the hauntinc spectre of (voluptuous) sexual predation that occupies basically the entire rest of the book.

If it weren't for all of the gender nonconformity, you could say that Jonathan and Mina represent a heterosexuality so healthy and complete that it helps eradicate the homoeroticism of vampires by simple proximity. I imagine that was likely the intent.

But there is all the gender nonconformity. This humanizes and enriches their relationship. It also, however, enriches Mina's relationship with other characters, creating a sort of halo-of-healthy-sexual-intent around her.

Seward:

I had some really good stuff here when I wrote this post the first time, bu tumblr ate it, so now I'm going to be a shit.

Seward and Mina are schoolgirl senpai/kouhai yuri.

Think about it. Seward gushes about how cool and lovely and wonderful Mina is within seconds. The shoujo sparkles write themselves.

Mina is a calm, collected, empathetic figure that tenderly soothes his tears even as she maintains her formality; there's literally a name for this. Mina is an Onee-sama.

I am not even SLIGHTLY kidding. She even makes her kouhai tea.

[Image: Tomoe Mami from Madoka Magica, another Onee-sama character, hosting a tea party for her kouhai]

This is especially convenient as a comparison because the two of them even have a Hot Teacher(tm).

Van Helsing:

Primarily, Van Helsing's reinforcement of Mina ans the Omni-Mommy comes from his intense praise for Mina and Jonathan's marriage. As I've repeated excessively, wife and mother were both basically interchangeable with 'woman.' Especially if you meant 'woman' positively, as the only "good" way to be an adult woman in Victorian culture was to be a wife and mother.

Plus the whole weirdly parental conversation they had about Jonathan a while back.

Of course, the simple fact is that for all Mina has immense autonomy within the narrative granted to her by her status as The Mother, Van Helsing points out the limits of that power.

"And, besides, she is young woman and not so long married; there may be other things to think of some time, if not now."

He's referring here to her not actually having children yet, and needing to be spared trauma so that she can fulfill her god-made purpose of raising Jonathan's kids, and again when he and the boys forbid her from participating that night.

Quincey:

First off, let's talk about that kiss. Because of the immense amount of work put into framing Mina as a mother this whole time, and framing the men as her crying children, this kiss is emphatically supposed to be unsexual. Not just nonsexual, but antisexual. Desexual. Actively removing sex.

Today's norms surrounding physical contact being what they are, I would equate this to a modern gesture of pushing back someone's hair and kissing their forehead, like you would do to a small child who got hurt on the playground.

Now, whether it actually serves to desexualize her care of the men is up for debate. But it's clear that is one interpretation, and if I know straight people, it's the interpretation they picked up on the most.

Personally, I think it serves to do the inverse, putting romantic or sexual implications on top of all of the rest of her interactions with the men and specifically with Lucy. Lucy being the person with whom the maternal imagery was the strongest up until this point.

But, in stark contrast to Dracula, all of these implications read as healthy caretaking and intimacy, rather than invasive predation.

Art:

Do I even need to say anything? Aren't the words "mother spirit" and "baby on my bosom" enough?

If not, we can also talk about how Arther immediately senses he can be emotionally vulnerable around her in the way he would not just with a woman but with a woman in his family.

Even the constant use of "sister" early in the scen has maternal implciations with it, given that Mina is older than Lucy (either literally or because Mina became a woman before her by marrying first, whichever). As obnoxious a term as I find it, "eldest daughter syndrome" does manage to evoke the right vibes for this. The caretaking of a sister for her family is explicitly a mimicry of motherhood in this political context.

Plus, I mean. Again. Onee-sama. The adult equivalent of an Onee-sama is a mommy domme. That's just the facts.

Renfield:

Magical healing powers. Classic maternal imagery. Also this scene was SO funny. Seward_eat_shit_challenge.MOV, honestly.

But yeah anyway the fact that Seward ascribes Renfield's lucidity to Mina's presence is another example of this aura of healthy intimacy around her that acts in a shocking inverse to Dracula's aura of infectious predation.

Lucy (Goth):

The Bloofer Lady acts as a fun twist on Lucy and Mina's and Mother/Child dynamic.

Mina went away to get married which, again, carries automatic connotations of having a 'real' child rather than taking care of Lucy. Even before their elopment, Mina is already nursing her husband back to health. Lucy is unable to get married before being corrupted by Dracula. So, upon her "transformation" into a metaphorical "corrupt adult woman," the Bloofer Lady preys upon what would have been Lucy's husband, intent on killing or damning him. This reflects a lot of systemic biases around women's sexual maturity as a corrupting force on men. Anyway, all this serves to further underline both the tragedy of Lucy's lost innocence, and the value of Mina's preserved Moral Fiber as an Adult Woman.

There's also their interactions with children. Mina is a perfect caretaker, a beloved teacher and trusted mother figure by basically everyone in the book. The Bloofer Lady acts like a child playing with dolls. She nurtures and coddles the children, even as she tears them apart to slake her hunger. She is doting and gentle, to an exagerrated degree. Until the very moment daddy comes home, when she throws her toy away, unconcerned that it might break.

The New Women:

No one is still reading this right?

Anyway, Stoker probably had Mina talk about the New Women because they had a reputation of sexual promiscuity and lesbianism that Stoker, as a queer man of moderate class status would have been very familiar with. That's why Stoker (and thus Mina) don't see hypocrisy in Mina deriding them. Mina's absolute adherence to every single character trope, every political goal, every stated motive of the New Woman movement is irrelevant. What matters is that she is a Good And Pure Married Woman Of Noble Character.

Not like this whores and harpies that never listen to the men around them and go around trying to inherit property or remarry after a divorce. Disgusting. What monsters.

Like that's literally all that the comment is for, IMO. It's just a way to pre-address criticism about ~being a new woman~ by contrasting her Good Character against this stereotype of sexual and legal perversion.

It's kind of all like that actually. Mina would almost look like a step-by-step reclamation of the rude stereotypes of the movement, except that she's supposed to unironically be "a good woman, not like them."

Like, Mina doesn't go to university, she just studies alongside her university educated husband like a Good Woman. And in so doing she.... just so happens to also develop all of the technical skills that New Woman activists wanted access to universities for.

Mina doesn't go around demanding fair wages. She marries upwards and inherits from her adoptive father, like a good respectable woman. Don't pay attention to the fact that she literally works. Besides, she works as a carer of children, why, that's barely different from being a mother (/sarcasm).

Mina has friends across both the middle and upper classes, another common goal of New Women. But unlike those ~nasty political types~ our good girl Mina simply takes care of her upperclass companions, obeying them and soothing them with her maternal powers. If it weren't so well written, it would be sickening.

I mean she even has freedom of movement (a common NW goal) by exclusively using public transit, unlike those harlots who rode bicycles by themselves with their legs, the horror.

It's kind of amazing.

Anyway having to rewrite this and deal with Bram Stoker's absurd bullshit surrounding ~sexual panic~ because of his own gay trauma is like. I'm becoming angry so the post is done now.

Have fun!

[genshin-impacted]

learning curve // Zhongli x Reader (NSFW)

Word Count: ~1.7k

Notes: gender-neutral reader, Zhongli/Reader, established relationship, half SFW/NSFW -- lots of dirty talk, overstimulation, praise kink, voice kink, cockwarming, soft dom!Zhongli, sub!reader, mentions of switching

Summary: As your lover, Zhongli learns what makes you happy and finds out in the middle of all of it how much he enjoys being able to please you-- both romantically and sexually.

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.

In everything Zhongli does, he practices patience and focus. In all his years of living as an adeptus, a god, and a mortal man, he has willingly accepted his role as a student as he continues to learn and discover new things that the world has to offer. In many ways, learning is his passion, for his expansive knowledge of all things Liyue and beyond is something of value to him whether it has a function or not. 

Zhongli is a meticulous man-- thorough and precise, leaving no stone unturned in the pursuit of knowledge, and that includes learning how to best please you as your companion, and as your lover.   

You like it when he presses kisses onto your hands. He knows this because each time he does, you always hide your wobbly smile behind your other hand, laughing in embarrassment before flashing him a smile. You also like it especially when he kisses your forehead when you arrive home from commissions because all the tension in your body seems to leave the moment his lips touch your head, your hands already reaching out to hug him after a long day. 

For the walks along Liyue Harbor, he intertwines your fingers into his, clasping palm upon palm, because he knows how you adore his affection in public, a subtle demonstration that the two of you belong to each other. You love the smell of glaze lilies, the taste of violetgrass, and the look of a silk flower bouquet on the dining room table; and he loves the sound of your laugh, the brightness of your smile, and the way he can make you happy by paying attention to your preferences. When he gets a new cologne-- a mild but masculine one that was recommended by Ying’er, your hands are all over him, whether or not you’re aware of it, attracted to his scent and his presence alone. But, oh, he also adores when you are aware of it, your voice as low as a purr when you can smell his cologne, call him ‘irresistible’ and tug him into the bedroom by his tie. 

You take good care into loving him too, in the little ways-- rubbing circles into his temple when he comes back from a long day of work, brewing him tea with the scent of Qixing flowers in the early mornings. But in the bedroom, you are much like the veteran adventurer of Teyvat that you are, zealously finding out what he likes best: licking stripes up the vein on his cock, kissing at the space behind his ears, and pulling at his nipples with your teeth. He is at your mercy when you ride him, milking out his orgasms until he’s gripping his nails into your thighs (much to his embarrassment and much to your delight when he leaves noticeable marks afterward). 

Zhongli is by no means experienced (not that you were particularly either), but he makes up for the lack of experience by doing what he has done for the past millennia.

He learns. 

He is sensitive to your reactions, noting every gasp or moan he can elicit from you, and how your body responds to each of his ministrations. He adjusts how hard he presses, where to touch you, how fast to do something-- how to make you feel good because out of the many songs of beauty that have graced his ears, your voice crying out his name is by far the most melodic. You are his lover, his beloved, his dove-- surely, he need not explain that he would want nothing but the best for you, and if he can bring about your happiness, be it by gifting you with flowers or by making your back arch in pleasure, then he would surely do it.

But just when did he begin seeking out your pleasure-- your words of praise-- so voraciously? 

"Zhongli, ah!" He would hear you gasp when he finds that one spot that makes you lose your inhibitions about showing your expressions. You grasp at his arms and tell him to do it again, words of praise spilling from your mouth as he repeats his actions dutifully to bring you closer to the peak. "You feel so good," you moan. "Zhongli--!"

Making you cry out his name louder and higher until you reach your peak and fall, and he builds it back up again almost ruthlessly. The more he hears from you, the better. He's ardently pounding into you harder, faster until you're sinking into the bed, or using his tongue until you have made a mess on his face, legs shaking from overstimulation and mind unable to fathom how many times you felt waves upon waves of pleasure course through you.

He's learned what you like, what has your nails digging into his flesh and what makes you say his name until your voice grows hoarse. And he's liked how he's also learned a new side of you, for whenever you are pliant under him, at the mercy of his actions, you respond well to his voice. 

Zhongli would be a fool to not take advantage of that.

He thrusts into you and listens to you keen, calling you eager and telling you how much he's enjoying watching you fall apart. The phrases he tells you are almost elegant-- poetic, even, with the way he weaves praises into his words and describes in the finest detail how he feels about you. It's a perfect juxtaposition to when he speaks the dirtiest of things into your ears-- of how well you're taking his cock, how tight your walls are clenched over him, and oh, you like it when he talks to you like this, don't you?

"Can you come with just my voice alone, do you gather?" Zhongli asks you, his voice reverberating through you as a shiver. "You're twitching.” He observes with a hint of amusement, making you hide under the darkness of your hands in embarrassment. He chuckles, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. “Is that something you desire, my love?” 

When your breath hitches, he says lowly into your ears, “I’m more than willing to see it through if that is what you please, having me sheathed inside of you while you come untouched--”

Zhongli takes a sharp intake when he feels you clench over him in response, and with a grunt, he buries himself inside of you again. 

"Ah, Zhongli," you call out, tugging at his hair with a grip that has him seeing stars. "Zhongli, Zhongli--"

And his name on your lips sounds like words of praise. 

"Tell me what you want," Zhongli asks. He kisses at the juncture of your throat, knowing it to be unfair since that spot has never failed to make you breathless. "Tell me what you want, and I shall provide." He chuckles when you let out a whine, your hands clawing at his back, wordlessly begging him to continue. "It will be your reward," he says, "for being so good for me."

"Zhongli--"

“So obedient,” Zhongli continues, trailing kisses down your neck as his hand reaches up to pinch your nipple. “So shamelessly loud, so full of want for me with your legs urging me to thrust inside of you and your arms making marks on my body. Tell me, my little songbird, do you want the entirety of Liyue to know that I am yours?"

"I'm yours," you cry out, and it takes everything in Zhongli not to bottom out inside you again. "I'm yours, Zhongli; please move! Fuck me--"

You keen again when Zhongli sucks onto the skin at your collarbone, leaving a mark that's sure to turn a deep purple by tomorrow. And without further delay, Zhongli tangles his hand with yours and gives you what you want, his cock thrusting into you at the angle he knows will have you seeing stars, and it does not take long for you to rise to the peak again. 

When you fall, Zhongli catches you with a kiss, swallowing your moan and letting you roll your hips as you ride out your orgasm. He finishes soon after, with his forehead pressed against yours, his cum splattered on your stomach. 

He always murmurs soothing words as the both of you come down from your highs, pressing gentle kisses onto your cheek until he feels your arms wrap around him.

.

.

.

You respond well to praise, he catalogs as you slide into the bath after him. It is truly a windfall for you to be so compatible with him in this way, for he loves to praise you as much as you love receiving them. Or is it that you simply respond well to his voice in general? 

"Will you respond like that each time we make love?" Zhongli asks afterward when the two of you bathe in the rose-scented water, and he watches you lazily play with the water. 

You turn your head to him grasping onto his thigh so you don’t float away. “Because of what?” You reply teasingly, “You’re going to have to be more specific considering the fact we did so much.”

Zhongli fights down the blush to no avail as he clears his throat at your familiar ribbing. You have always made him grapple for words, so in a way, he would be more than pleased if he were able to render you speechless on a repeated count. “On the… words of praise. You seemed quite receptive to that.”

He hears you laugh as you turn around, making waves in the water. "You really do have a way with words, huh,” you comment. “You’re very good at that.”

“That is because I always have praise for you, my love,” he teases, hearing you laugh again although albeit shyly. “If you liked that, I would not mind having a repeat performance, so to speak.”

You hum thoughtfully, sneaking your hands into the water to grasp his. “Well,” you begin, and he knows you well enough to know that there is a shine to your eyes. “Only one way to find out!”

And Zhongli continues to learn with you.

[saturnity]

Telling Tenya Iida to take care of himself. Tenya Iida x Gender Neutral, Best Friend Reader.

(authors note: this is my first full length fic in...a while. motivation hit me like a brick and I decided I'd churn something out! this fic is dedicated to a few special friends: @classreptenyaiida, for the interactions I've had with him, @yarozu for being such a great fan and supporter!! @lostcoves for being my first friend on this platform and for being so so kind to me, @uwu-iwanttodie because god I know you're a sucker for tenya just like i am, and @tryingmyves for sticking around and being a wonderful person!! there's also one more special person this fic is dedicated to but I don't know their tumblr url and if they wish to be named LOL // but yes anyway, enjoy! i hope you like this, feel free to send me any feedback, rts and follows appreciated!!!)

warnings: none! all fluff. good for everyone.

Tenya Iida and (f/n l/n). The both of you were inseparable, friends since childhood, in the same class throughout elementary and middle school. You were overjoyed to hear that you’d be in the same class with him again in UA, brimming with excitement to be able to stick by his side for longer. Of course, you had a crush on him ever since you could remember...but you were really too scared, terrified, really, to confess to him- in fear of ruining your 15 years of friendship.

Out of all people, you were the person who knew how determined Tenya was to not only reach, but exceed his goals and aspirations. You knew how much he wanted to satisfy the people around him and meet their expectations. You didn’t exactly understand why he did it, but you knew how driven he was, and how he’d do anything within the law and the rules to get there. And he rarely failed. Tenya was a great inspiration in your life, encouraging you to do better, while growing together. In a way, he influenced you to work hard, train harder and to do your hardest. The both of you became a force to be reckoned with; your parents and Tenya’s parents realised this, and hoped you’d do great things as heroes in the future, allowing you to spend weekends and holidays together.

Throughout your first term, Tenya enthusiastically took up the role as representative of Class 1-A with pride. He’d come to you for feedback for his ideas, always asking your opinion before proceeding, and you’d be his biggest cheerleader. You improved ideas he delivered, making sure small details were tweaked, and ensured logistics ran smoothly. Whenever Tenya needed help, you were the first he’d go to. Tenya presumed the role of a figure of strength within Class 1-A, readily assisting people in need, hosting study groups after school, and going the extra mile to make sure everyone was...more or less, in line. His work towards being a ‘good hero’ started here, and it wouldn’t stop until his last breath. As an Iida, he worked daily to strengthen his reputation as a helpful, strong figure...no, a reputation as a hero.

But inside, you knew Tenya was tired. He was slowly burning himself out. He didn’t need a savior, but he needed someone to shake him awake. There were days where you’d find Tenya a little less awake than usual, even though he seemed to have the same amount of energy as every other day. You’d catch him zoning out after school days ended, maybe he’d drop from his chopsticks once more than normal at lunch, and sometimes he’d even forget to bring certain things to school. Your best friend definitely wasn’t sleeping or resting enough.

You did your best to make sure Tenya was taking care of himself. Sometimes, you would gently remind him to drink more water, or to get more sleep. Other times, you’d deliberately book ‘study sessions’ with him, only to do the exact opposite- taking him to a cafe for a ‘change of environment’, introducing him to several new drinks and cakes, much to his dismay. Or maybe you’d eat lunch on one of the school rooftops, and allow him to take a nap afterwards on your shoulder while you ran your fingers through his coarse, navy hair. Perhaps you’d relax at your house, a movie would be playing on the TV, and while he’d feverishly insist on studying or doing something more ‘productive’, you’d gently but stubbornly insist that he rest. As the days passed, Tenya placed his focus on his ambitions, and your opportunities to ensure his leisure decreased.

One night, you wondered why Tenya pushed himself so hard. Was it because he was a people pleaser? There were definitely times where he would be almost too eager to help others. Or was it because he decided to shoulder his world of responsibility alone? Maybe it was because he was constantly surrounded by good examples of what a hero should be, that he held the burden of his family name, that he was expected to be the next best thing for the hero community...or maybe it was all of the above. Tenya had been working tirelessly for this; yet he didn’t know when or how to take care of himself and to forget to be selfless. He was always running to help others, always thinking in the position of others, or whatever would be better for the future. You didn’t remember the last time he did something for himself. Regardless, you decided that you’d definitely work a little harder to make sure your best friend would care for himself. After all, everyone needed someone else to lean on, right?

You shook your head. “No. I’m serious. You need to rest. Or at least take it easy this weekend.”

Finally, one Friday afternoon, you saw Tenya yawn in class for the first time. He looked close to falling asleep, in fact, you could say he was positively exhausted. His eyelids fluttered downward, their weight becoming heavier and heavier with each blink. Inside, he was praying he wouldn’t get picked on to answer a question- he just wasn’t really following the class material anymore. Or worse, he hoped Mr. Aizawa wouldn’t assign group work- it’d mean he would have to actively interact with other people, which he didn’t have the energy for. Thankfully, the bell rang, and the gray, bleary-eyed teacher dismissed his class, unfurling his sleeping bag and escaping the room to get a nap himself. You walked up to Tenya’s desk and playfully smacked his arm, shocking him a little more awake. He adjusted his glasses and looked up to you.

“Heeey. Someone’s looking tired.”

“I suppose I didn’t sleep quite enough last night, (y/n).” Tenya grinned. To the normal eye, it would seem like one of the class rep’s normal, signature smiles, but to you, there was a fatigued weakness shielded behind its sunny exterior.

You arched an eyebrow. “You’ve said that every day for the last month and a half.”

“I know, I know. There’s so much work I need to get to, in fact, I should return to my dorm soon to st-” Tenya had finished gathering his things and prepared to leave the classroom, until your hand reached out onto one of his broad shoulders and pressed him back down onto his seat.

“No you fucking don’t.” You folded your arms, a frown plastered to your face.

Tenya scowled. “Please, (y/n), can we joke around later? I have to get th-”

“Look, if you’re aiming to be a successful hero in the future, you might as well take your own advice that you give so often to others and rest. You always tell us to make sure we get enough sleep, and you’re not even doing it yourself. If you’re tired or sick, you won’t be able to perform as well as you want to, right? And you always want to be at your best, don’t you, Ten?”

“But-” Tenya protested. He had so much work to do, so much to get to.

“Tenya Iida. In our 15 years of friendship, I’ve never seen you this fucking tired. We’re only in our first year. Are you going to keep doing this throughout school? Or what, the rest of your life? For the love of god, cut yourself some slack.” You almost yelled out in protest, in disgust of seeing your best friend suffer in silence.

Tenya stared at you in shock. You’ve never spoken to him like this before, or at least, it was rare. Usually you played more of a supportive role by his side, and when you were more assertive, you were never this pushy. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he heard you shout. The remaining members of Class 1-A who hadn’t yet left the room stared at the both of you in a similar amount of surprise as your bespectacled classmate did. After sighing, you decided to use reason that Tenya would buy into, desperately hoping he would do as you said.

“Then it’s settled. We’re gonna take it easy this weekend, okay? And don’t apologise for making me worry. It’s my job to look out for you, you know. And we haven’t napped together in a while too. I kinda miss that.” You brought Tenya into a hug.

Tenya sighed. You were right. He couldn’t hide that he was tired. And honestly, it was exhausting having to troop through each class with the meager 4-5 hours of shut-eye he was getting. It was a battle that he knew he was losing. He surrendered to your suggestion.

“I...uh...suppose you’re right. Sorry for making you worry.” Right after Tenya had finished that sentence, he yawned. There was really no hiding his tiredness now.

“Hey...(y/n)? Thank you. I appreciate you doing this.” Tenya smiled, as he reciprocated your warmth.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 11 first part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Goodness)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Okay! This episode is a real slice of healthy family dynamics, not triggering in any way. [Uh if this is your first Restless Rewatch: that is sarcasm, dear readers]

Goodbye to You, Goodbye to Everything We Knew

Nie Huaisang asks why Meng Yao has to leave and Meng Yao says "I killed a guy without permission, so your brother fired me." 

Ha ha ha ha no he doesn't. But he does give Nie Huaisang a sweet, sad smile; he seems touched by NHS's distress. 

Meng Yao carefully removes Nie Huaisang's hands from his shoulders and bows to him, wordlessly signaling the change in their relationship from intimate friends to formal strangers, while Nie Huaisang looks crushed. 

They will return to intimate friendship in the future, but falsely. Meng Yao believes that truly loving a person can include destroying their family and using them as an instrument in your murder plots as long as you don't directly harm them.  Nie Huaisang eventually learns to use people just as brutally, but he doesn't lie to himself about what he's doing. This farewell may be the last harmless moment between these friends. 

Jiang Cheng is distressed by what's going on, while Wei Wuxian crosses his arms and watches, fully in Sherlock Holmes mode, instead of his more usual concerned-for-my-friend mode. This may signal mistrust of Meng Yao, who refused his initial attempt at friendship, and not in a sexy, slice-your-face-off way.  Or it may mean that he's reserving judgement on a complicated family situation. He maintains his uncharacteristic reserve through the entire encounter. 

(more behind the cut!)

Nie Huaisang runs in and asks his brother WTF happened. Nie Mingjue says "he killed my subordinate without permission, when he knows perfectly well power must flow from the ruler; it's like he didn't even read that Foucault book I gave him."

Ha ha ha actually he just yells at his brother, as if NHS doesn’t have his own relationship with Meng Yao after being wonder twink powers with him for probably a couple of years now. NHS has to sit and process his loss and confusion in silence.

As a younger sibling who would make friends with my older siblings' girlfriends and then lose those friends if they broke up, for reasons having nothing to do with why I liked their girlfriends, I super feel Nie Huaisang's pain here.

OTOH, older siblings are entitled to have break ups and not explain themselves to anyone besides their lover because that's the nature of intimacy. The moral is, uhh...don't have a family curse that makes you unreasonably angry. 

Jiang Cheng steps up to advocate for Meng Yao, because Meng Yao is injured, and because Jiang Cheng is actually a born leader who knows better than to throw away a useful subordinate. For example, even when Wei Wuxian is at his drunkest and most defiant, Jiang Cheng tries to reform him, not kick him out, only drawing the line at having unpopular zombie friends.

Wei Wuxian continues to keep his mouth shut, waiting for Nie Mingjue to calm down, and speaking only about the tactical situation. He clearly knows there's more to this story but he's pretty good at keeping his head down in a family ruckus, and we're about to learn why.

Yunmeng Town

The Yunmeng bros go home to Lotus Pier, where they are greeted in town with bows, smiles, and free stuff.

We've mostly been seeing them in their roles within the cultivation community, where Jiang Cheng is grumpy and anxious, and Wei Wuxian is sassy and iconoclastic. Here among common people, they are both charming, friendly, and polite, like the imaginary good kind of gentry.

They hear the news from a local lotus seller that the small clans are coming to the Jiang Clan for shelter, but that otherwise everything's ok, which doesn't sound like everything is ok at all. He gives Wei Wuxian a giant bag of lotuses for his sister to make soup from.

Home to Lotus Pier

All the disciples practicing in the courtyard at Lotus Pier are excited to see them, and one girl goes running to tell Jiang Yanli. Thanks to the admittedly beautiful design of Lotus Pier, she is running for a long time.

A long, long time. Getting around on all these insane walkways must be a real drag if you're not the flying sort of cultivator.

Discipline and Punish

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian immediately go and kneel while they wait for their official punishment. Jiang Cheng is kinda worried about the punishment and Wei Wuxian is like, I'm good at being punished, just let me do it. 

Much later, and for a really long fucking time

He also tries to get Jiang Cheng to stop being mad, even giving him skritches while he says they should be brothers after they die.

Which they will, as it happens, although Jiang Cheng after the Wen torture is only mostly golden-core dead, while WWX dies for real.

When Jiang Fengmian shows up Jiang Cheng starts to explain that they were with Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian hushes him; he is still keeping the secret of the Yin Iron. Although he's keeping it in exactly the manner that a teenager keeps their weed stash secret: immediately tell literally every teen friend about it, but keep it extra secret from everybody's parents. 

Happy Families Are All Alike

Now we get to meet Yu Ziyuan, who is generally styled Madame Yu but who I'm going to call by her name just as if she was a male character. More on that concept in a minute. She rolls up looking, smelling, feeling like a million yuan, with her two murder bitches in tow.

Her marriage is an unhappy one, and her husband does his best to avoid her and avoid conflict, lying to the kids that she's tired and then sending her away later with the same line about being tired, which is a particularly gendered kind of gaslighting. She is obviously not tired, other than being tired of Jiang Fengmian's shit.

I'm not going to say she's the worst mother ever, because parenthood in a feudal society entails a wide range of skills, many of which she has in abundance. She starts off with a relatively tender greeting to Jiang Cheng, tuning up his always-amazing sartorial style, which is exactly like her own. They are all ready for the mommy & me fashion show.

That said, she dishes out hellacious verbal abuse to everyone in her family. She targets each one in turn, making Wei Wuxian the focus of most of her ire, but without ever directly speaking to him. He is not, in her view, part of her family. 

The Stages of Family Dinner

1. Try to fix it and defuse the situation

2. Yeah no

3. Just keep your head down and be glad it’s not your turn in the hot seat

This family meal hammers home how much Wei Wuxian is not, actually, part of the family. Jiang Fengmian adopted him into the clan, and told A-Cheng and A-Yi to treat him as a sibling, but he didn't give him the Jiang name, and he didn't get his wife's approval. He also doesn’t expect him to dress like any other clan member, apparently. 

Compare this to how Lan Wangji, actual good parent, fully integrates his own adopted son into his clan and family, starting with giving him the Lan surname.  

The hits just keep coming as she goes after Jiang Cheng for being less gifted than Wei Wuxian, Yanli for performing labor for Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Fengmian for possibly begetting Wei Wuxian.

On first watching this scene I took her question "Is this how you raise someone else's son?" to mean that she thought Jiang Fengmian was being too nice to a kid who was actually an outsider, taking resources away from the real kids. But on rewatching, it's pretty clear that she's saying his favoring Wei Wuxian is evidence that Wei Wuxian is NOT someone else's son; that he's Jiang Fengmian's bastard. 

Jiang Fengmian doesn't say a thing to this, or to her mentioning WWX’s mother. This shit is why WWX is running around in the world desperate for any crumb of info he can get about his Mom; he hears about her all the goddamn time at home, but only as insults to her character.  

A Bitch is Not Wrong

Here's the thing, though; a lot of what Yu Ziyuan says is correct. 

Jiang Fengmian should be a lot more concerned about the danger to the children, and should not leave it up to the kids to decide who's going to bear that danger.

Yanli does a lot of food=love, which is ok in the right doses, but causes her to pretty extremely lose face during the whole "soup for Jin Zixuan" debacle. And her doting on Wei Wuxian is...kinda excessive. I mean, yeah, she’s more like a mom than a sister to him, but still. Running out onto an active battlefield to look for him, frex, will be a skosh too much. 

I have a dictionary too, mom

Jiang Cheng, as the future clan leader, shouldn't let his attachments affect his decision making, and should let Wei Wuxian, who's the superior cultivator, fend for himself more often. We love Jiang Cheng for those moments where he puts himself in harm's way to protect his loved ones, but it's not a good strategy. He constantly yells at Wei Wuxian for the exact same thing he does all the time himself; he just limits who he does it for.

After she roasts the shit out of everyone for these failings, she leaves, and everyone sits around being miserable and not talking about what just happened. 

Not to be gender studies-y on main but: the awful things she says to her children are really not very different from the things that Jiang Cheng says to Jin Ling, although her targeting is more adept. JC also says a lot of mean things to WWX when he’s angry. When a man says cruel or insulting things, it's often presented as real love hidden under a rough exterior. When a woman does it, she's a monster.

If you enjoy this sort of interaction you should definitely have a look at Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and the plays of Eugene O'Neill.

Road Runner

Oh thank god, moving on

Lan Wangji is headed back to Cloud Recesses, and gets ambushed by the roadside with the most ridiculous trap this side of Wile E. Coyote.

Wen Chao thinks the "rug over a hole" trap is a good idea for someone who can literally fly.

Lan Wangji doesn't faff about with sword riding, he just fucking goes up in the air and stays there until he is good goddamn ready to come down. A hole in the sidewalk is really not going to be a problem for him. 

Wen Zhuliu does get in one kick before Lan Wanji yeets backwards away from him, in a moment that's scarier on rewatching, now that I know what Wen Zhuliu is capable of.

Wen Chao talks some smack to Lan Wangji, hilariously complaining about "your patronizing tone" to a man who has literally never spoken a word to him, IIRC, and certainly isn't speaking now. Maybe it's a mistranslation and should be "attitude," or maybe Wen Chao is just that dumb.

Apparently Wei Wuxian made a stack of talismans for Lan Wangji to take on the road with him. This talisman is a twin to the one Lan Wangji brings out way, way later in Yunping, when Wei Wuxian says "you even have kept it until now." Missing scene alert! What else did he make for him?

In Yunping this talisman is used to distract some random harmless street bullies. Here it is used against a seven-man murder squad.

This works.

Assault on Cloud Recesses

Forgettable disciple #1, Su She, comes rushing in to tell Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen that Cloud Recesses is under attack.

I'm pretty sure these dudes already know it, because they are meditating extra hard with a buttload of incense, and Lan Qiren is about to cough up some blood. So I think they're trying to hold the ward, rather than just, like, chilling while their disciples get stabbed.

Cloud Recesses is super on fire, you guys; it's going to totally burn to the ground; look at that conflagration, oh the humanity, etc.

Lan Qiren Rises to the Occasion

Ok, I like to rag on Failmaster Qiren and he is definitely an authoritarian dick a whole lot of the time, but in this scene he is fucking amazing.

He starts off worrying about Lan Wangji, not just out of affection but out of strategic planning, probably in equal parts. All three of these Lans take their clan responsibilities extremely seriously.

Then he calmly assesses the situation while imperturbable Lan Xichen freaks the fuck out. 

Lan Xichen is right to be alarmed, because he knows his uncle, he knows one of them is likely to die, and he knows that Lan Qiren will choose to take the hit.

I love, love, love Lan Qiren's physicality here; how centered and assured he is, as he holds his nephew steady and explains what is required of both of them.

Lan Xichen knows Lan Qiren is right. He is utterly fucking devastated, and all he can do to show his love...

...is to obey. 

This whole scene just. kills me.

Su She and forgettable disciple #2 are in the room for this whole conversation, and they join Lan Xichen in this deep bow. Note: I will be reminding everyone of this fact in Part 2.

Whew. This episode is a LOT. Part 2 Coming Soon!

Writing Prompt: What other goodies did Wei Wuxian put in Lan Wangji's care package before Lan Wangji hit the road without saying goodbye?

Soundtrack: 1. Michelle Branch, Goodbye to You 2. Ludacris, Stand Up

[catarzna]

𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖆 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖘 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 . . .

( adriana lima. cis woman. she/her. 45 & shinedown. ) that’s CATARINA NEVES, isn’t it? they’re always hanging around the LOTUS pack, so it’s rare to catch them alone. i heard they’re THIRTY-FIVE years old, and they’re currently a SGT AT ARMS at EREBUS MOTORCYCLE CLUB. when dusk falls, you can usually find them heading home to QUEENS by MOTORCYCLE.

hello, all ! i’m lauryn, 21, my pronouns are she/her, and i currently reside within the cst timezone. i’ve been tumblr rping on and off for about 8 years now, and catarina is a muse that i revised from a similar muse i played a couple years ago. here’s is my first muse of this rp, catarina neves ! her about is listed here, her statistics are listed here, and her plotting page is listed here. if you’d like to claim any of the plots on that page or do some other plotting, shoot me a message ! i prefer discord, but i’m open to messaging on tumblr. my discord is limes#6826. i look forward to writing with everyone !

TW: KNIVES, FAMILIAL DEATH ( BROTHER ), MURDER, DEPRESSION, ALCOHOLISM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

aline and antonio neves originated from sao paulo, brazil. antonio was a corporate communications director with a hefty salary, while aline was a freelance artist. propositioned by his company to move to the united states, the family began preparations for their big move to albuquerque, new mexico. two and a half years later, not long after their arrival, catarina was born four minutes after her twin brother, matheus. the family was well-adjusted and happy, offering a stable environment for the twins to thrive in. the twins grew up comfortably, doted on by their parents, and developed an unmatched bond from an early age. matheus and catarina did everything together throughout their childhood, relying on one another for strength and protection. catarina especially exhibited protective behaviors toward her sibling despite the gender roles, though she struggled with some anger problems from an early age. the anger seemed to correlate with the moon cycle, and catarina had her worst nights when the moon was full in the sky. her anchor was her brother; when they were together, the anger would almost disappear into nothing.

throughout their elementary and middle schooling, matheus and catarina were inseparable and highly sociable; the twins had little to no problems getting along with everyone and performing in school. where cat lacked in her math abilities, matheus excelled and offered her assistance; the roles were reversed when it came to english classes. catarina always showed an interest in art, especially renaissance-style paintings. she spent most of her free time painting and researching art styles and occupations. matheus, on the other hand, was a talented soccer player, taking after his father. while they focused on their passions, they shared homework with one another. catarina’s support system for her aspirations was vast and diverse, filled with both family and loyal friends. high school was no different for the twins, though catarina did spend most of her time with her high school sweetheart, james.

upon graduation, the twins and james stayed in albuquerque for college. matheus landed a soccer scholarship, and catarina chose a major in art with plans to pursue a career as an art conservator. catarina got a job as a bartender with the intention of supporting herself despite her parent’s help with tuition. her experience was one of true happiness and stability, making it easy to focus on her studies. by age twenty, james and catarina were engaged to be married and living together with plans to move to brazil in four years time.

in an effort to celebrate their twenty-first birthdays, catarina and matheus made their way to chicago. walking back to their hotel from the bar, the twins were mugged at knifepoint. despite their attempts at fighting back with their pocketknives, catarina sustained multiple stabs and matheus was fatally wounded. in a fit of rage, catarina was able to take down the mugger with her weapon and gathered her strength to call for help; she miraculously survived with four scars to show for it in her abdomen. the death of her twin brother would send catarina into a lasting depression that would destroy her existing relationship with james.

this incident would also be the catalyst to triggering her werewolf gene. despite her wounds, she felt stronger than ever and found that when the full moon came around, she would shift. confiding in her family about this occurrence, they revealed their knowledge of the same thing happening to past generations of their family, though it seemed no living relative was cursed with this affliction. the shock of this discovery and the death of matheus led catarina to isolate herself from her loved ones; her happy-go-lucky spirit was dead and gone, replaced with feelings of hopelessness and sorrow. as a result, catarina called off her engagement, dropped out of college, and moved away to new york.

the next seven years of her life were somewhat of a haze. every full moon, without fail, she would shift. five days a week, she would work as a bartender and manage to steal a couple drinks throughout the night. catarina gave no one the chance to even get close to her; her only friend was a bottle of booze ( until it would inevitably become as empty as she was ). the alcohol numbed her pain, enabling her to avoid her emotions.

at the age of 28, catarina was close to committing suicide. her life had become unbearable, and she could no longer numb her pain. it had caught up to her. before she got the chance, catarina was exposed to the lotus pack, and not long after, the erebus motorcycle club. her hardened demeanor stayed, a permanent part of her now, but she felt like she had finally found a home, a place where she belonged. joining the club as a prospect, with the support of her pack, cat was finally able to process the changes that had occurred in her life all those years ago. it was at this point that catarina met her now-fiance, as well. catarina put all of her efforts into protecting her new family, and being around other werewolves did wonders for her recovery. five years after joining, catarina was appointed the sgt at arms position in the club. she was tasked with keeping the order, ensuring club rules are not violated, and ensuring the exiting of members was handled well. based in queens, catarina now has a new life, one filled with feelings of belonging and contentment.

important information about her personality can be found in her “about” section linked above.

[gynandromorph]

on a personal tangent, i've been thinking about masculinity and what it means to me, especially as i am regularly interpreted as a man by strangers. a lot of thoughts on masculinity i hear from men, and in a lot of ways, i don't really relate. additionally, i'm not really masculine in a way men frequently find to be the epitome of their gender, but i'm absolutely still masculine. nonetheless, i do think that saying butches are never emulating men is inaccurate (i do get where it's coming from, though), with the gender envy and all. moreover, i think even lesbians attracted to butches for example, expect a picture of masculinity i don't really resonate with, and it often leaves me a little shell-shocked to realize i'm being boxed into another, separate cage of a specific, desirable performance that i will be punished for failing to deliver by being stripped of my masculinity, while experiencing the punishment for acting naturally in a way that fails to be feminine. i can easily see that the performance is generally also beneficial for the person expecting it -- yes, it would be nice if i wanted to remodel your basement and fix your car for you as long as you pay me in gender validation (or warm beer), wouldn't it, and so on. knowing that the masculinity i feel inside me feels intrinsically alien to men's masculinity, while men are paraded as the harbingers and owners of masculinity, as well as alienated from the idea of what makes a butch from the changing femme gaze i've grown to desire and consider the "other half" that creates the definition of this gender, forces me to question what the masculinity is, what it means, if it even is masculinity, and how i would know. i've noticed for a while, slowly accumulating a passive motivation to deliver the performance expected of me, which eventually feels like a natural motivation, rather than an adopted compromise. it makes me wonder how much of gender is supposed to feel forced, propelled by the desperation to be seen as such, and why i would want to be seen as something that i have to change myself to be, and what makes performing a forced "butch" so much less agonizing than performing a forced "woman." i think of men who spend their lives playing a warrior fighting a lifelong war defending their masculinity as they refuse to compromise vulnerable parts of themselves, and men who waste their lives "toughing out" the repression of their less masculine parts to perform menial and dangerous labor because it's their role, and i see them both as masculinity, but i don't know which one is supposed to be my masculinity. i notice they both include an element of forced performance and focus on perception, and i continue to wonder if that's "normal." i wonder what the amusement and buzz about being perceived as a man by a stranger means, if perception plays such a large role in gender, and what it means when it's only excitement when it's a fun little secret the perceiver isn't in on, but dysphoria if i was viewed that way by someone close, or if that even matters. for a while, my masculinity was that failure to perform femininity or desire performing it, which came naturally, and the performance of that masculinity was almost accentuating that failure, embellishing it into an ironic and unironic badge of honor. whereas men experience femininity as a separate axis, as men can be men and feminine, or men and ambivalent to or repulsed by femininity, butch is to be Not Feminine. it feels very strange that this isn't good enough nowadays and strange to not really have answers for my questions

[horror-seminar-2021]

Week 8: Slasher Films & The Final Girl

Clover discusses the role and representation of gender in a horror subgenre, slasher films. Culturally distinguished as a "low horror," slasher films rely on bodily excess and sensations and manipulation of identification. Just as pornography engages with sexual activities, slasher is a body genre that engages with boundaries and performance of gender. This subgenre employs manipulation of identification to explore social anxieties and fears regarding gender. Clover points to Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho (1960) as the immediate ancestor of slasher films. The principal tropes include a psychotic killer with family trauma from a younger age, violently murdered beautiful young female victims, a Terrible Place where horror resides, and a weapon that requires proximity between the killer and the victim. The formula of slasher films has gone through variations over time; however, these tropes stand central to defining the subgenre.

Clover demarcates post-Psycho slasher in the 1980s to examine subverting cultural values of the previous generation (late 1960s-early 1970s) and changing representation of women in film. The killer in the 80s slasher films has an appearance of humans, unlike classic horror monsters. He often bears childhood trauma related to psychosexual issues that resolve into his murder spree. He is often not clearly visible to both the diegetic characters and the audience. The killer hides behind the 'I-camera,' or point of view (POV) camera, forcing the audience to see what he sees and hear what he hears. The location where horror takes place has changed significantly from classic horror. The Terrible Place is no longer a foreign place, far away from home (U.S.). The Terrible Place is now suburbian neighborhoods where white, middle-class families live. It is dark and exitless. The audience often experiences the Terrible Place through the victims' perspective, watching the walls that are supposed to keep her safe get penetrated by the killer. The killer's weapon holds significance in physical intimacy and phallic symbolism. The weapon, ranging from stabbing with kitchen knives to obliterating the victim with a chainsaw, is considered an extension of the body and requires animalistic proximity, evoking the hunter and prey relationship between the killer and his victims. These weapons most likely penetrate the victims' bodies, replacing the penetration as a sex act with the violence and functioning as a phallic symbol for the killer's compromised masculinity. The victims are still beautiful women, same as classic Hollywood horror, but the slasher films pick out teenage girls who are sexually active and promiscuous. Unlike classic horror, slasher films present a string of victims as the killer goes on a murder spree. Teenage girls get violently murdered on-screen slowly in fear. Teenage boys may be the victims as well, but their deaths either happen off-screen or very quickly without lingering on their terrified faces or screams. Among the victims, the Final Girl is the final survivor who defeats the killer. She usually stands out among her friends due to her sexual ignorance or unwillingness and displays a keen intelligence to fight back the killer. Earlier Final Girls had been saved by male rescuers who step in to stop the killer last minute, but the Final Girls in the 80s slasher films are left alone to save themselves. While being feminine enough to be the terrorized and brutalized victim, her name often sounds boyish, signifying her bisexuality in contrast to the killer's fragile masculinity. The last critical characteristic Clover marks is the shock effect. With the development of special effects and make-up, the slasher films could show dismembered body parts and brutalized victims in explicit details, reiterating its intentionally overwhelming excess.

Clover then analyzes how the slasher films influence audience identification across the gender. Traditionally, the possibility of cross-gender identification laid in the female audience with male characters on screen. Clover writes that the slasher films posed the possibility of male audience identifying with female characters on screen by deploying the "bisexual hero" Final Girl. The male killers in slasher films do not represent the ideal male archetype. The I-camera demands the audience to take in the killer's perspective at first but shifts the focus and sympathy to the Final Girl by the end of the film as the audience takes in the Final Girl's point of view. The Final Girl has to act masculine enough for the male audience to identify with and cheer on but also feminine enough to satisfy the male gaze, being tortured in fear so that she does not pose a threat to the male competence. Clover remarks that while classic horror monsters possessed non-phallic sexuality and repressed sexual energy, the slasher killers' sexuality is deeply linked with failed phallic masculinity and wields the phallic weapon to compensate. The Final Girl embodies masculinity through the phallic weapon, often taken from the killer, and defeats the killer, symbolically castrating him. Clover suggests that the tale of the Final Girl is an Oedipal story enacted in the female body, that entering adulthood requires the "assumption and, apparently, brutal employment of the phallus" (97). The Final Girl may look like a feminist hero on the outlook, but her appropriation of masculinity is the only reason she could defeat the killer. The 80s cult of androgyny allowed the slasher films to address male anxiety and desire and simultaneously collapse masculinity and femininity, breaking the equation that sex equals gender. Clover compares the high horror, giving less autonomy for female bodies and beautifully killing them, with low horror like slasher films and the Final Girls. She does not forget to mention that the Final Girl gets to assert some agency only after being brutalized and terrorized by the killer first.

[annecoulmanross]

The premise: AMC’s The Terror (2018) is almost perfectly set up to be a structured as a classical Greek tragedy, or, ideally, a series of three tragedies.

Three requirements of a classical Greek tragedy:

The play is performed by only three actors and a chorus.

The three actors perform all of the dialogue roles between them.

All of the action of the play takes place on a single day (in the space of no more than twenty-four hours), and always in the same physical place.

Obviously this last requirement is the hardest to achieve with the events of the show sprawling over two years or more, but with a trilogy of three tragedies, you could narrow the action down to three key days: (1) Franklin’s death, (2) Carnevale, and (3) The day the mutineers lure the Tuunbaq and everyone but Crozier dies. I could focus on the structural elements that would allow for these three days of “action” but I’m more interested in the implications of the first two requirements: basically, can you stage a version of The Terror with only three actors? The answer is that – barring action sequences which would never be staged in a Greek tragedy anyway, because all true action happens off-stage – yes, yes you can. So, let’s talk about logistics.

Core Casting Divisions:

ACTOR 1 = Franklin (also: Goodsir, Blanky, Little, Bridgens, Tozer, etc.)

ACTOR 2 = Fitzjames (also: Lady Silence, Hickey, Jopson, Peglar, Stanley, etc.)

ACTOR 3 = Crozier (also: Collins, MacDonald, Hodgson, Gibson, etc.)

Beneath the cut: how this casting breaks down, scene by scene; and the implications of these casting divisions, complete with a lot of rambling thoughts about – among other things – gender, masculinity, and (amusingly) Rome.

(Also, I want to thank my dear friends, fellow terror-classicists, and everyone who has so patiently talked terror-meta and terror-thoughts with me, including, but in no way limited to, @kaserl, @catilinas, @rhavewellyarnbag, @paramaline, and @endofvanity – your wonderful thoughts about this show have been enormously helpful as I’ve played with the narrative mechanics here!) 

+

Casting, Scene-by-Scene

A basic outlay of all major dialogue scenes in every episode (a “major dialogue scene” is a scene with more than one character, minus “fight scenes” because action never happens on stage in a Greek tragedy), with the roles of the three actors listed in 1-2-3 order, and an “x” to mark when an actor doesn’t appear in a scene.

01x01 – “Go for Broke”

Franklin – Fitzjames – Collins [Discussing the ice]

Blanky – x – Crozier [Crozier complains, part 1]

x – Jopson – Crozier [Crozier complains, part 2]

Strong – Hickey – Young [Young’s illness revealed]

Franklin – Fitzjames – Crozier [Fitzjames’ storytelling]

Goodsir – Stanley – Young [Treating Young’s illness]

Franklin – Fitzjames – Collins [Collins’s dive]

Goodsir – Stanley – Young [Young’s autopsy]

Franklin – Fitzjames – Crozier [Franklin’s decision]

Tozer – Hickey – Manson [Burying Young]

Franklin – Fitzjames – Gore [The pack has arrived]

(Notes: This is an incredibly cleanly written episode, and the casting is correspondingly clean. Franklin and Fitzjames almost always appear together, as do Goodsir and Stanley; both pairs are “leader and subordinate,” but the roles shift, with Actor 1 as Franklin and Goodsir, and Actor 2 as Fitzjames and Stanley. Actor 3, meanwhile, plays three characters with foresight: Crozier, who foretells the pack ice through his knowledge and by listening to Blanky; and Collins and Young, through their more supernatural visions.)

01x02 – “Gore”

Franklin – Fitzjames – Gregory [Checking the engine]

Bridgens – Peglar – x [“Here comes the lending library”]

Franklin – Fitzjames – Gore [Gore’s sledge party departs]

Goodsir – Peglar – Gore [Gore’s sledge party]

Franklin – Fitzjames – Crozier [“Repairing bonds”]

Irving – Hickey – Gibson [Irving’s discovery]

Franklin – Fitzjames – Hodgson [Hodgson’s sledge party returns]

Blanky – x – Crozier [Remembering Parry’s expedition]

Irving – Hickey – Crozier [A shared drink]

Goodsir – Lady Silence – Crozier [The death of Silence’s father]

Goodsir – Fitzjames – Crozier [Goodsir explains how Gore died]

Franklin – Fitzjames – Crozier [Franklin discusses how Gore died]

Blanky – Lady Silence – Crozier [Lady Silence’s warning]

(Notes: As the show adds complexity, so does the casting. Irving appears as a new role for Actor 1, paralleling Franklin in his religiosity; Gibson appears as a new role for Actor 3, paralleling Crozier in being a person with whom Hickey.... uh, flirts.)

01x03 – “The Ladder”

Hartnell – Morfin – Weekes [Preparing Lady Silence’s father, part 1]

Goodsir – Morfin – Weekes [Preparing Lady Silence’s father, part 2]

Hartnell – Lady Silence – Hodgson [Returning the totems to Lady Silence]

Goodsir – x – Des Voeux [“Burying” Lady Silence’s father]

Little – Jopson – Crozier [Little’s worries about the Inuit]

Irving – Hickey – Gibson [Gibson asks for Irving’s counsel]

Franklin – Fitzjames – Crozier [The sledge rescue party proposal]

Blanky – x – Crozier [Crozier’s mutiny plan]

Irving – Hickey – x [Irving’s warning]

x – Hickey – Gibson [The break-up]

(Note: The sequence in the hunting blind is nigh-impossible within this casting, since it features predominantly three separate characters all played by Actor 1 – Franklin, Goodsir, and Tozer. Imagined poetically, one could say that this is an omen of the violence so soon to come in the physical space of the hunting blind, since violence cannot be depicted on stage in a Greek tragedy. Conceived practically, one might argue that this is because the hunting blind is a hotbed of toxic masculinity, where the masculine Tozer baits the patriarchal Franklin into remaining with the marines, and teases Goodsir for his “feminine” caution.)

Franklin – Fitzjames – Crozier [The death of Franklin]

Chambers – Morfin – Weekes [“Silver swan”]

Blanky – Fitzjames – Crozier [“It’s technically not mutiny if I’m in charge”]

(Notes: This episode mainly functions to round out the first third of the show’s narrative, so the main parallels are familiar. We do, however, have a range of important sequences featuring the new-to-us characters Morfin and Weekes; we begin to get to know more of the men, rather than just officers. Morfin is played by Actor 2, which could be evidence to argue that Morfin was once lashed was for sodomy – cf. “Actor 2,” below for more.)

01x04 – “Punished as a Boy”

x – Jopson – Crozier [“You hear everything, Jopson”]

x – Fitzjames – Crozier [“Does not one bring one’s habits to Terror?”]

Goodsir – Stanley – MacDonald [Tending to Heather]

Tozer – Hickey – x [The idea to kidnap Lady Silence develops]

Little – Fitzjames – Crozier [The plan to “get” Lady Silence develops]

Hartnell – Hickey – Crozier [Questioning the kidnappers]

Johnson – Hickey – Crozier [The lashing]

x – Hickey – MacDonald [After the lashing]

Goodsir – Morfin – x [Morfin’s headaches]

(Note: The scene “Morfin’s headaches” is really interesting to me, because it causes overlap problems all over the place: Morfin MUST be played by Actor 2, because his death scene must have Goodsir (1) and Crozier (3) in it, but Actor 2 also plays Fitzjames and Stanley, both of whom are also in this scene; this is the scene in which Fitzjames and Stanley have their one significant conversation, in fact, which it hurt me desperately to lose. I think there’s something in this scene about thwarted connections – Morfin reaching out to Goodsir, Stanley reaching out to Fitzjames – and that may be why it all tangles up here, why the casting system breaks down and fails here, as it does.)

Irving – x – Crozier [Men shifting to Erebus]

Goodsir – Lady Silence – Des Voeux [Feeding Lady Silence]

(Note: Goodsir sure does have a lot of scenes with Des Voeux in these early episodes. I’d never noticed this, and I’m not sure what to make of it.)

01x05 – “First Shot a Winner Lads”

Little – Fitzjames – x [Sending Lady Silence to Terror]

Goodsir – Stanley – Des Voeux [Goodsir asks leave to go to Terror]

x – Fitzjames – Collins [The requisition of spirits]

Goodsir – Hickey – x [Hickey’s wounds]

Little – x – Crozier [“How fares the raft of the Medusa?”]

(Note: Little and Blanky almost never interact, so the fact that they are both Actor 1 rarely causes problems. Losing Blanky in this scene is tragic, though, BUT this does create an interesting parallel between Crozier’s failure at being a mentor for Little, and MacDonald’s greater success(?) at being a mentor for Goodsir, below, since both are Actor 1 as mentee & Actor 3 as mentor scenes. )

Goodsir – Hickey – x [“Does that really work with anyone?”]

Goodsir – x – MacDonald [Doctors bonding over teeth exploding]

x – Hickey – Gibson [The proposal]

Irving – Hickey – Manson [Storing Hornby’s body]

Goodsir – Lady Silence – Crozier [Interviewing Lady Silence]

Blanky – Fitzjames – Crozier [The punch]

Blanky – Jopson – Crozier [Blanky’s amputation]

(Note: Jopson is holding Blanky’s hand during the amputation. That’s my justification for having him here. I just like it, that’s all.)

Little – Jopson – Crozier [Crozier’s detox plan]

(Note: Obviously, there are additional important people in the “Crozier’s detox plan” scene, and one is loath to ignore Fitzjames, for example. But this is the beginning of Jopson’s core arc, so he takes priority, and Little receiving Crozier’s gun is weighty.)

01x06 – “A Mercy”

Irving – Fitzjames – MacDonald [The provisions remaining]

Blanky – Fitzjames – x [The Fury Beach™ Scene]

x – Jopson – Crozier [Tending to Crozier, with Jopson’s backstory]

Hartnell – Hickey – x [Hartnell’s new charter]

Little – Fitzjames – x [Carnevale as a “last hurrah” before the walk-out]

x – Stanley – Collins [“Flurried thoughts”]

Bridgens – Peglar – x [Xenophon’s Anabasis]

Goodsir – Stanley – x [Goodsir’s discovery re: the tinned goods]

x – Jopson – Crozier [Going to Carnevale]

(Note: We’ve just had seven (7!) entire 2-person scenes of either (a) Actors 1 and 2, or (b) Actors 2 and 3, bouncing back and forth – this would keep Actor 2 very, VERY busy. Actor 2 also plays no less that five (5!) different characters in here, almost their entire core repertoire of Fitzjames, Hickey, Jopson, Stanley, and Peglar, omitting only Lady Silence, who will also show up later in this episode. There’s a lot more to be said here, but I’ll just note that we start and end with scenes of Jopson caring for Crozier – a classical ring structure – with Stanley failing to care for Collins placed at the center.)

Blanky – Jopson – Crozier [Crozier arrives at Carnevale]

x – Hickey – Des Voeux [“Unless you want that ripped off?”]

Little – Fitzjames – Crozier [Crozier’s speech at Carnevale]

Goodsir – Lady Silence – Crozier [Lady Silence returns]

x – Stanley – Crozier [The fire begins]

x – Hickey – MacDonald [MacDonald’s death]

Goodsir – Fitzjames – Crozier [After Carnevale]

01x07 – “Horrible from Supper”

x – Fitzjames – Crozier [What the men have packed]

Tozer – Hickey – Gibson [The mutiny plot begins]

Goodsir – Morfin – Collins [Morfin stumbles]

Blanky – Jopson – Crozier [Goodbye to Terror]

Goodsir – x – Collins [“Terrible from supper”]

Goodsir – x – Crozier [Goodsir wants hunting parties]

Tozer – Morfin – Crozier [Finding Fairholme’s fate]

(Note: For casting reasons, Fitzjames doesn’t appear here, though he’s very much present in the show’s version of the discovery of Fairholme’s remains. One might derive some AU scenarios for this (what if Fitzjames didn’t know about the destruction of Fairholme’s rescue party?) or one might contemplate what it means for Fitzjames to be present or not, when, notably, the numbers of how many men have died that Fitzjames writes on the Victory Point Note addendum in the next episode ONLY tally if Fitzjames forgets – or purposely omits – Fairholme and the men of his sledge party.)  

x – Fitzjames – Crozier [The Hand Touch™ Scene]

Little – x – Crozier [“The men deserve every gold thing there is.” ]

(Note: Crozier and Little will have to also discuss Tozer’s recommendation to arm the men as a past event, since Tozer can’t be in this scene with Little already there, when they’re both Actor 1; more on this in the next episode.)

Goodsir – Morfin – Crozier [Morfin’s death]

Goodsir – Lady Silence – x [Goodsir gets comfort-cuddles]

Hartnell – Jopson – Crozier [Hartnell is a good boy.jpeg and so is Jopson]

Little – Jopson – Crozier [Jopson’s promotion]  

Tozer – Hickey – Hodgson [Bringing Hodgson into the mutiny]

Irving – Hickey – Koveyook [Asking for help]

01x08 – “Terror Camp Clear”

x – Fitzjames – Crozier [Victory Point Note addendum]

(Note: The scene where Crozier questions Hodgson poses some problems, since both are Actor 3. The details may simply have to be elided into other scenes. This episode has several such issues, including, tragically, Hickey and Jopson’s scenes (Actor 2), and, unfortunately, Little and Tozer’s scenes (Actor 1). What this does show us is some new dynamics in the overlaps – Hickey and Jopson are Crozier’s “prodigal son” and the obedient elder son, respectively; Little and Tozer are what happens when leadership goes wrong, in two very different ways.)

Goodsir – Lady Silence – Crozier [Discussing Irving’s mutilation]

Little – Fitzjames – Crozier [Leaving Little in charge]

Bridgens – Peglar – Collins [Bridgens the doctor]

Blanky – Hickey – Crozier [Interrogation at the scene of the crime]

Goodsir – Lady Silence – x [Mourning friends]

Tozer – x – Des Voeux [Noises in the fog]

Little – x – Hodgson [Hodgson’s worries about the Inuit]

Blanky – Fitzjames – Crozier [Realizing the camp is armed]

Goodsir – Lady Silence – Crozier [Sending Lady Silence away to safety]

x – Hickey – Gibson [Mutiny planning]

Little – Fitzjames – Crozier [Arresting Hickey]

Little – Hickey – Crozier [The hanging]

Diggle – Hickey – Gibson [The mutiny sledge leaves]

Tozer – x – Collins [Collins’ death]

(Note: Even before Goodsir is kidnapped by the mutineers, like Penelope ambushed by the suitors, this episode gives us none of the Goodsir – Fitzjames – Crozier dynamic that stabilized the end of Carnevale; Bridgens has, in many ways, already taken over for Goodsir in becoming the “doctor” for the crew, and he will bloom into having two vitally important and devastating Bridgens – Fitzjames – Crozier scenes in the next episode. For now, Goodsir has three major scenes with Lady Silence: the last they will ever have together.)

01x09 – “The C the C the Open C”

Bridgens – Fitzjames – Crozier ["Blank pages now”]

x – Fitzjames – Crozier [“More than god loves them,” part 2]

Tozer – Hickey – Hodgson [Hodgson joins the mutiny]  

x – Fitzjames – Crozier [Fitzjames falls]

x – Hickey – Hodgson [“Veal Cutlets Tomata”]  

Goodsir – Hickey – Gibson [“(Tr)eating” Gibson]

Little – Jopson – Crozier [Little proposes leaving the sick behind]

(Note: The last time we saw these three together, it was Jopson’s promotion, and the time before that, it was “Crozier’s detox plan,” and Jopson was promising “I got you” to his captain; now it’s the other way around. Little acts as a pivot around which circumstances turn, rather than an agent in and of himself in many ways. Like fellow Actor 1 character Franklin, Little is thrust into a position of leadership for which he isn’t truly ready, and then his choices are slowly cut off from him – but where Franklin’s choices are cut off by fate, and the ice, Little’s are largely cut off by the opposition of others: first his captain, in vetoing the plan to leave the sick behind, and then by the men, in voting to leave the captain in Hickey’s clutches.)  

Inuit Leader – Lady Silence – x [Not enough food to share]

Bridgens – Fitzjames – Crozier [The end]

Little – Golding – Crozier [The funeral]

Blanky – x – Crozier [Forks]

Bridgens – Peglar – x [“Can we sleep?”]

Tozer – Hickey – Armitage [Making mutiny camp]

Goodsir – Hickey – Hodgson [Feeding mutiny camp]

(Note: So technically Tozer is visibly in this scene, and Hodgson’s not, but in a Greek tragedy he would be visibly on stage, so I’m calling that fair play.)

Goodsir – x – Hodgson [Hodgson’s Eucharist monologue]

Tozer – Hickey – x [Tozer’s plan to return to the ships]

Bridgens – Peglar – x [The C the C the open C]

Tozer – Pilkington – Armitage [Discontented mutineers]

x – Jopson – Crozier [Foley’s cow]

Little – Golding – Crozier [A false report]

Hartnell – x – Crozier [“Go be with your brother now”]

Little – x – Crozier [“We will live”]

01x10 – “We Are Gone”

x – Hickey – Crozier [A Wednesday]

Little – x – Le Vesconte [A vote]

(Note: For you Dundy fans, this is literally the first time I’ve found a place for him; I could perhaps have gone back and put in the short “benjo” scene, but alas, some things aren’t meant to be – the primary people listening to that announcement are Hickey (2) and Gibson (3) and Le Vesconte clearly can’t be Actor 1, since this, his star scene, is with Little (1). Dundy really does come out of nowhere, narratively speaking, even more so than Hodgson in many ways.)

Goodsir – x – Crozier [“This place is beautiful to me”]

x – Hickey – Crozier [“I forgive all of them”]

Diggle – x – Crozier [Escape plans]

Tozer – Hickey – Crozier [A doctor a day keeps the doctor… well]

Tozer – Hickey – Des Voeux [Next steps forward]

Tozer – Hickey – Crozier [“You could have just joined up”]

Little – Lady Silence – Crozier [Captains losing ship and crew]

Inuit Leader – Lady Silence – Crozier [“Silna”]

Inuit Leader – Translator – James Clark Ross [“Aglooka”]

(Note: Working chronologically such that James Clark Ross appears only at the end but not also at the beginning, as per the rules of Greek drama, our Actor 2 ends the story in the role of the Translator. Something very poetic about that.)

+

Implications of the Casting System

Basically, my argument here is that, in a pinch, you can retell the narrative of AMC’s The Terror (2018) using only three actors, with relatively minimal problems of overlap, and that’s FASCINATING.

In part, these core casting divisions (Actors 1, 2, and 3) are purely pragmatic – we have scenes that require, e.g., Franklin and Fitzjames and Crozier to all make important statements, so those three have to be played by different actors. And it fractals out from there – e.g., Blanky and Crozier have numerous significant scenes, so they can’t be the same actor, and you can’t lose the “Sir John Ross Never Knew How Close He Came” Fury Beach scene, so Blanky and Fitzjames can’t be the same actor, which means Blanky and Franklin MUST be. But sometimes these spiraling casting necessities make for very cool accidental overlaps as a result of the pragmatic necessities of so small a cast. 

(Also, for the classicists in the room, I first mapped this out while watching a production of the Bacchae, so that tells you something about my headspace.)

So, interesting things about what parallels these actors might play out:

– Actor 1 predominantly plays very masculine men in very traditional masculine roles (Franklin, the paternal leader; Blanky, so rugged and grounded in himself; Little, the stoic with depressive tendencies who’s bottling up his emotions; Tozer, who is, um, Tozer). The exception in many ways is Goodsir. The thing is, Goodsir is one of most feminized men in this show, given his role as a medical care provider, his warm softness, his initial apparent lack of physical courage (it’s an abundance of reasonable caution, Tozer!), and his Penelope-like role in later the Odyssey narrative. But Goodsir has to be played by a different actor than most of the other characters in this show with a dubious relationship to Victorian British masculinity (Actor 2, see below), because he shares scenes with them! Goodsir and Hickey MUST be played by different actors (not to mention Lady Silence). So here we are, with Goodsir amongst the “manly men.” Even Bridgens is fairly traditionally masculine, if only in his physical appearance and his classical education.

Other interesting parallels: If I had to give a real, classical answer to the “why is Goodsir with this bunch” question, I think it has to do with the shift from the Franklin & Fitzjames & Crozier “First Triumvirate” of the early episodes (brief Roman digression, but the Roman “First Triumvirate” would be Franklin = Pompey, Fitzjames = Crassus (well… Cicero), Crozier = Caesar? …hilarious) to the Goodsir & Hickey & Crozier “Second Triumvirate” of the later episodes (Goodsir = Lepidus (I’m SORRY), Hickey = Antony, Crozier = Augustus). Basically, Goodsir has to take Sir John’s place as the representative of (or spokesperson for) the brittle British empire and its hapless inadequacies, once Franklin is gone (more on this is “Actor 2.”)

Also, you know, re: Blanky and Sir John, both men lose a leg. Do with that what you will. (“Good one leg man” and “Bad one leg man” indeed.)

– Actor 2 predominantly plays figures whose masculinity is either queered, problematized, or non-existent. (Fitzjames, who crossdresses, who carries his legacy like a woman’s beauty – easily lost over time; Lady Silence, who is rarely if ever treated like a woman within the narrative, but, in fact, is one; Hickey, whose queerness and violence are intertwined; and Jopson, whose life is defined by dedication to a career that places him in feminized roles.) Peglar, despite his sexuality, is one of the more traditionally masculine characters this actor plays, but what can I say, Peglar is fragments, and fragments, as we know, are gay-coded. Stanley is also, on first glance, a more masculine outsider, but the gender binary of live men and dead men prevails in this show, and Stanley’s been dead inside since long before he ever set foot on Erebus. This is also where one might argue that the flogging to which Morfin alludes is a punishment for sodomy, and that mentioning it to Goodsir is a specific attempt to find a kindred soul, and/or an attempt to flirt. 

Other interesting parallels: Fitzjames and his masks, both literal and metaphorical, and how those masks are desecrated by Hickey along with Fitzjames’ body and boots; Hickey and Jopson as the opposite ends of the spectrum for father/son relationships with Crozier (I know this means we can’t have that Hickey & Jopson scene – I can’t account for it, I’m sorry too!). But back to Fitzjames and Hickey, this parallel also makes interesting sense re: the two “triumvirates” in show (Franklin & Fitzjames & Crozier and later Hickey & Goodsir & Crozier) because, in contrast to Franklin and Goodsir who are representatives of the British empire, Fitzjames and Hickey are places where the British empire is most visibly broken, Fitzjames because of the lies he’s had to tell about his origins, and Hickey because he’s the eternal outsider, literally trapped outside the tent. (Well, and the lies Hickey’s also had to tell about his origins! Though that’s his own damn fault in many ways.) Also, Fitzjames is technically “Crassus” in his triumvirate, and he does play on tropes of wealth and privilege and inane military campaigns in the east, but he’s mostly, actually Cicero, mutilated by Hickey/Antony, who also steals his mask – aka boots/severed head – to prove his cruelty and co-opt power.

This actor has to do A LOT of work, as a friend of mine once said. But also they play all three of my favorite characters, so I adore them.

– Actor 3 predominantly plays Crozier. (Crozier is the main character of this narrative, we can’t avoid that; he’s part of both triumvirates, and a vast number  of the significant scenes include him, so his actor is stuck playing just Crozier much of the time.) Apart from that, however, I love that one of the natural overlaps is for this same actor to play Collins, whose connection with dreams and visions parallels so interestingly with Crozier’s foresight and foreknowledge.

Note: Because of the tragic structural limitation of “one setting only.” I’ve not included any of the characters back in England, apart from James Clark Ross, since he does eventually make his way out to the Arctic. If I were to include the contemporary England scenes (omitting the flashback scenes), it would have basically this set up:

ACTOR 1 (overlaps with Franklin) = Lady Jane, Barrow Jr.

ACTOR 2 (overlaps with Fitzjames) = Sophia Cracroft

ACTOR 3 (overlaps with Crozier) = John Ross, James Clark Ross, Dickens

Actor 3 is potentially the most interesting of these, because Crozier doubles with James Clark Ross re: life experience (Antarctic hand tremors!) and with John Ross re: being a harbinger of things to come. Actor 1 is intriguing also, though – less, I think, for doubling Lady Jane with her husband, which I do ultimately like quite a lot, but also for the other parallels offered, e.g. Lady Jane and Goodsir. (Did you know Lady Jane once dissected a giant squid? Goodsir would have loved it!) 

This has been your “a Terror-obsessed classical scholar tries to make a tv show into a Greek tragedy” hour – thank you for joining me!