#and also maybe the superhero one if only bc that one scene i wrote fucking slaps

[mithrilbookofmystery]

📓 👁👁

OK SO *slams down 30k words of draft* I know the original ask post said to talk about a fic I haven't written but haunts me, but believe me, this is fic is not written. We're like not even a quarter of the way through, most of this doc is notes, this fic have been haunting me since last june or so send help

So anyways. This is "the fic I'll never write" which I do have a tag about as you might have noticed, it's one of the very few things I have a tag for on here that's how much it's haunting me. I'm never going to publish this fic also, tho that's mainly bc A) it's way too fucking long B) the fandom and ship are both obscure as hell and C) its also embarrassing 😣 cringe is dead except when it's me and my fanned fictions. That being said, I'm calling the two guys A and B for simplicity's sake.

A and B hate each other's guts. They were friends once, but had a very big falling out with hurt feelings and bad miscommunications all around and basically they vowed to never talk to each other again. And then one day A wakes up and realizes that 1) his house got moved into while he was asleep(he is very ??? over this given that he was in the middle of moving in the day before; his house was basically empty 8 hours ago and now it is Not) and 2) B is coming over for lunch to pick up his stuff(????? This is even MORE confusing bc A is getting the vibe all of a sudden that they were in a relationship together? Which doesn't make sense bc he's not gay. Wait. Is he gay? What the fuck is going on???)

B comes over and they have a very stilted lunch (where it seems like B feels like something is off, too, but hes not saying anything...), B takes his stuff and leaves, and A spends the rest of the week alone in this house that he has both lived in for years and also Has Not and very confused about this new life he suddenly has.

And then A wakes up in a castle as the trusted advisor to the king in a medieval fantasy world and he is EVEN MORE CONFUSED THAN BEFORE!

Also the King is B. Great.

A spends a lot longer here than in the last universe (like 3/4 of a year), long enough for a magical war to come and pass, some character development shit to happen, and also for the King (who, again, is B) to fall in battle (and it's the one they win the war in too, RIP) and go into a Magical Nightmare Coma (bc they were warring with magical nightmare beasts). This is Bad, for a variety of reasons.

Now A is conflicted abt this bc B is his friend, bit also very much not, but that doesn't mean he wants him to die, but also the A of this universe, the advisor, is starting to get the idea to kill the king to get the throne... His death would be easy to explain away, given the circumstances...

A, instead, goes to find magicians to break the curse. This is the first good thing hes done all fic lmao

B wakes up, the kingdom throws a party, and that night, B tells A about how Something Strange has happened to him - he's not from here. From this world. He's from somewhere else, somewhere Different and in the Future but with no magic and he doesn't know how he got here or got to be possessing the king's body but he's been here for past like 3/4 of the year now and hes sorry for acting strangely if he has but he doesn't really know what to do-

A tells B that he's in the same boat, because he is. B realizes that this A is his A and he hates his A. So. B says some things he'll probably regret later bc being mean is the best defense he's learned against A's general air of uncaring-ness for the effects of his /j "jokes" (they're not jokes, half the time they're just mean, but anyways), and storms off.

The next day, A wakes up in a submarine. He thinks he is going to scream.

They go through....,,., a lot of universes. I think it's over 25 rn but idk. Some are shorter than others, the longest is like a year and a half but we'll get to that. The general arcs are:

1. The beginning bit (Just Broke Up, King/Advisor, Deep Sea Biologists (that ones just an excuse to stick them in a small space for a while to duke it out lmao), Astronauts (kinda same premise as last one but there's a third party now), Musicians, Wild West, Minecraft, Wizards, Desert Island (to quote the notes there, "they duke it out but calmer now"), semi-back in their home universe but something's Off, Superhero(B)/Supervillain(A))

In this part they start off hating each other, but slowly warm up to each other again by the Wizard universe (they're wizards there <3). They recognize that they're each other's only constant in this mess, so in the Desert Island 'verse, they agree to try and find each other right away in each new universe they wake up in (instead of messing around for a while before accidentally stumbling into each other like they'd done before). They debate about the versions of themselves they're possessing, with A very adamant about not changing each universe's lives too much, while B is willing to throw that out the window if keeping the status quo endangers each other. He's starting to like A as a friend again and doesn't want to have to tiptoe around him to compensate for this other life that was thrust upon him, sue him. This comes to a head at the end of the superhero verse when A foils his own plan to save B's life, revealing his own identity to the press in the process - VERY much changing the status quo of this A's life. B is very very confused and conflicted abt this but we don't know how A feels bc its B's POV this chapter.

Also it's worth noting that B still gets nightmares from getting attacked by a nightmare beast monster thing, and he will continue having them for the rest of the fic. They get a heck of a lot worse in the next one <3 and he doesn't tell A abt them until like 3 years into this bullshit

Also also they are so homesick already god bless

2. The Death Universes (the death universes) (this is the year and a half one btw)

They wake up in separate universes where the other is dead bc I love inflicting characters with hardships and problems and trauma <3

They get therapy in these ones too which helps them to like accept blame and shit when it comes to their old argument but also not blame themselves completely and break and also hold each other accountable more and in healthier ways

3. Post-Death bits AKA the rest of the fic p much (its like over half the fic I'm not listing all these out)

Points of interest:

- they reunite and are so so happy about it that they become codependent

- they go to a BOTW AU and B is Link and has amnesia but not just the B from the BOTW universe has it, the original B has it also and he. He fucking going through it man

- bc of the whole amnesia thing B starts thinking of himself where he's not really the B of whichever universe but hes also not really the original B either (tho that's always usually the one more in control each time); the two have kind of merged together, and each new universe creates a new version of B

- he goes with that for a while until it gives him an existential crisis and OG B starts maintaining his independence again

- anyways then they get more codependent <3 fruity edition

- they start to realize they're getting codependent and go :/ uh oh oopsie poopsie

- why did I say that I'm sorry

- anyways they try to homebrew some therapy for themselves but given their situation it's not exactly.. uh.... But tbh it's the best they got right now ngl. it works well enough

- it helps that the universe right after they agree to Spend Some Time Apart™️ they wind up in one where they physically cannot meet each other until they get to the end of it and have to make new friends along the way (Dead Gods AU my beloved....... <3)

- they get to a universe where they're Dads and Gay and Married and go 😳

- they only get fruitier from here

And then it vaguely ends around there. I don't really want to ever write an ending for it, if only bc it feels cheap to end it before they get home but also writing them going home feels wrong, but also, again, I'm never publishing this so I'm not too pressed about it

Saying that, I do want to share some bits from the scenes I have actually written that I'm proud of :3 A is red and B is blue. Sometimes the versions of themselves from a universe will have a different name and I do differentiate between the two; when that happens, the alternate universe versions will have a lighter color than OG A or B. Some of them aren't the same size so you'll have to tap the pics to read all of it

Their fight in the first universe, where they don't really know what's going on but they do know they have just recently broken up and are still very hurt abt that

P much the only scene written for the Superhero AU bit, mainly bc I know I cannot top this

There's a bit of a jump in their conversation between these two, but I hope it still makes sense. Mid-part 3, around the time when B's having his existential crisis and right when they start being fruity. (Pastel/Punk AU also High School AU but it's like the weird teen movie version of high school - they're a little weirded out by it lol)

And ofc Dead Gods AU my beloved <3

Also I made a playlist. They're not really in any particular order story-wise, and some remind me of the story more than others, but yeah :)

When I tell you this story fuckgin HAUNTS me bro......

[royallygray]

@periwinklepaint

Here is a scene I wrote for an au (that I really need a name for bc it dominates my thoughts).

Bit (a lot) of background on this AU: It's supposed to be a superhero/urban fantasy/soulmate au. Everyone has some degree of magic, they just have to learn to harness it. All soulmate pairs are the canon ones from Double Life.

Scar (Hotguy) and Gem (Fauna) are heroes. Grian (Chaos Sparrow) is a vigilante. Pearl (Scarlet) is a villain. Jimmy is just a civilian, but he's a victim of the prophecy (basically just the Canary Curse).

It was supposed to be Scarian mild annoyance to lovers and Gempearl enemies to lovers, but it has gotten more focused on the:

Scar & Gem besties relationship,

the Grian & Pearl chaos skyblings relationship,

the Grian & Pearl & Jimmy & Lizzie skybling/seabling relationship,

the Scar & Pearl depression villain arc relationship,

and Gem & Grian's sibling dynamic.

At this point in the story, our four main characters (Gem, Scar, Grian, and Pearl) have made a deal. The higher-ups at the Hero Corp want to interrogate Scarlet (Pearl) for information because she's not only the primary villain of the city, she's also the leader of the underground, who are presumably the people who want to assassinate Jimmy (if he dies, it's basically Ragnarok). Pearl does not have control over individual people or groups in the underground, she just runs the system.

The Hero Corp wants Gem and Scar to retrieve Pearl and bring her to them. So Gem and Scar set up a meeting, since there is mutual trust between the four of them.

The conclusion was that they could take Pearl, but Grian would take one of the heroes as collateral so that he could ultimately get her back. They decided to exchange Gem rather than Scar because they knew that Gem is the Hero Corp's precious baby and they'd be desperate to get her back, which ensures Pearl's release. Additionally, Scar's magic is incredibly strong since he's a fae. He has a natural advantage that bypasses some of Pearl's talent in magic.

So he places a curse on her that can only be broken if Scar chooses to break it. Basically it prevents her from flying (she's got wings, so does Grian), getting out of range of Scar, and the curse includes the ability to control whether the person the curse is placed on can talk or not, but Scar refuses to utilize it.

Also since Scar is a fae, he can't lie. But he does have a silver tongue that easily gets around the lying factor. Also he doesn't know that he and Grian are soulbound. Also Gem doesn't have a soulbound. Also I'm really insecure about posting this like I think it's cool but maybe other people won't think it's cool but an IRL friend really liked it but idk and I did write this all on discord because I needed to explain the scene to said friend and it was going to be easier to just write it and AAAAAA

okay here are some words of scar being a badass byeeeee

-- --

The Hero Corp keeps insinuating that Scar is working with the villains. They keep insisting that he break more and more of his morals to find more stuff.

And finally, he just goes "Do you want a villain? Because I can give you one.”

And it's dead silent.

No one says shit.

Gem's apprentice, Guqqie, is there with their jaw dropped.

Scar's usually green eyes are glowing red.

He's angry.

"It seems to me that you want a villain," Scar says, his voice echoing in the silent room. "I can give you one. Isn't that what you want?”

No one says anything.

Scar's red eyes burn into the side of [boss]'s skull. "I thought you wanted a villain.”

Some people are staring at him. Some are trying to get out of this room. Some are trying to ignore what's happening.

"Did you not want a villain?" Scar asks. "I don't appreciate lying.

"I can't lie," Scar says. "I'm not sure if you know this, but I cannot lie. I feel like maybe you'd extend the same courtesy for me.”

"Do you want a fucking villain?" Scar snaps. "Or are you just unsatisfied with me having boundaries? Not liking how you compare me to Fauna and wish I got taken instead? Realizing that Villains are people too?”

It wouldn't've been terrible to be taken by Sparrow (Grian, Scar thought with mild wonder. A beautiful name. His heart fluttered, despite the situation), but the thought still stood. [boss] didn't know that Sparrow wouldn't hurt him.

"Don't you want a villain?" Scar asks, quietest yet. "Don't you?" More silence. The clock on the wall ticks. Scar can hear his heavy breath in time with his heartbeat. "Well, I'll give you one." He rips his hero badge from around his neck and lays it on the table. "I resign.”

And he stalks away, the explosion of "no!"s and "why?"s and "HOTGUY GET BACK HERE!"s blocked out by his mind.

And he walks up to his apartment, his mild haven here, and sees Pearl and Jimmy. He snaps his fingers, lifting Pearl's curse. She looks up in alarm, and Jimmy follows suit.

"We're leaving." Scar tells them, leaving no room for argument. "And we're not coming back.”

[midnightrooftops]

WW84 Deep Dive

I’m actually surprised how messy the WW84 story is considering how solid the first movie’s writing was. I think the script went through a lot of editing and then the film went through a lot of editing because the film was LONG and tried to pack A LOT in.  Spoilers below.

*SPOILERS* 

IMO, it focused TOO MUCH on Max. I think they got too excited to have Pedro and wrote too much for him and Patty liked Pedro’s performance too much. They should’ve cut half his scenes. I don’t need to watch the bad guy figuring out how to get more people, I just need him to show me how he’s doing his wish thing and then eventually get to the president. They gave us an excessive amount of “what’s your wish” scenes with random people we don’t care about. We would’ve still been sympathetic  about him bc of the scene at the end when he sees HIS truth with his father and his son. The scene with them finding out what the stone is with the random Mayan in the warehouse was WEIRD. First, why was the book in ancient Mayan? Like, the book was from his great grandfather and looks relatively modern and I can understand wanting to preserve the language but it seems very strange to print an entire book for the purpose of preserving their history in a modern way but not a modern language. Anyway. That’s a huge nit pick but that entire scene seemed OFF bc Barbara is suddenly one board with 1. The stone being real and magical and 2. Diana being magical. And how the fuck did Barbara get a flyer to a random guy that had all this info? (ALSO? More emphasis on needing to KILL Max. “He is the stone” “then you need to stop him, Diana.” “I can’t just kill the man.” “I don’t like it either but I don’t think he’d renounce his wish. And if he doesn’t, how else are you going to stop this? You’re the only one who’s be able to stop him.” Barbara says “you mean KILL him?” Diana, reluctantly as she comes to realize Steve is right, says “Yes. I may need to kill him.” Like. THEN Barbara can throw Diana’s own “be better” lecturing in her face “you’d rather kill a guy than renounce your lover boy” and really turn on admiring Diana, seeing a hypocrisy that Diana is struggling with.) I wouldn’t be surprised if the Lying God was supposed to be a character in one of the original drafts of this movie. The stone traveled around randomly after as documented by the Mayans, they locked it/hid it away. Obviously a god was carrying it from location to location. I was expecting him to be the REASON Max Lord knew about the stone (that’s never explained, except for the loose idea that MAYBE he heard the legend in his youth from his culture). Like, imagine if we get a throw-away line from Max telling his son about how a man told him about the power of a wish, sending Max to chase the stone down.

ALSO, it sets up the idea of other gods outside of the Olympians. We already have that rumor that Chief was technically a native god, or at least based on one. Why not have the same thing happen here. Maybe Barbara meets him, telling her how easily someone can use their wish to take YOURS away or something, making her even MORE protective of what she now has. Like just have the dude in the background of the scenes. Diana never has to fight them, they’re just there to see what’s up.  The fighting with Cheetah needed to be better choreographed. I wanted another scene like the white house scene but with Diana in full power and maybe Cheetah finally getting a little bit spooked/not so confident? Like oh shit, maybe she IS more powerful bc Diana chose truth instead of her wish.  BUT. I loved it. I loved watching it. I had fun watching it. It felt like a real superhero movie to me. The characters were on point and I love the message. These WW movies actually really make me love Diana. She reminds me a lot of Sailor Moon and the purity of being a hero. I thought “oh shit, she’s going to have to break his neck on camera” and I really glad they didn’t go that route (I think that scene went on a little long too). And I’m GLAD Diana made the hard choice. After Steve Rogers turned his back on the world and chose himself in Endgame, Diana, crying about “this is the only thing I ever wanted” and giving it up anyway because it’s RIGHT. THING. TO DO. Is so fucking refreshing. I was so happy to watch an actual superhero movie.

[scone-lover]

@findingniamho​

HAHAHAHA thank you so much for this ask!!! ❤️ This is exciting. Honestly the Egghead fight was one of the most entertaining scenes to write. (Coming up with all the puns was an egg-celent time.) Rereading it just now was like an out of body experience 😂 

Link to the original chapter here - passage & commentary below the cut!

So I have to start with how this scene was born. This is a Simon scene. He’s had a couple fight scenes with Vampire, but I wanted to show him off as the superhero of the city. What was he doing before Vampire appeared on the scene? What are his strengths and weaknesses? Despite the scene’s silliness, it’s also one of the first where we start to get a sense of what Mayor Mage is up to. 

So I knew I wanted him to do the typical defending-the-city thing, and showcase him and Penny as the dread companions power duo.

Besides the plot stuff, my main goal was to make this scene as ridiculously, stereotypically comic book-ish as possible. 😂Hence, Egghead the Villain.

Most of the credit for Egghead goes to my friend -- they’re really into DC and helped me with a lot of the plot stuff in this fic and making things semi-realistic. (Every time you read a clever plot point, it was probably them. 😂) For this non-Vampire fight, my friend suggested a gangster who was doing crimes and bribing the police. Hence this exchange--

“Okay, okay, um-- fuck. Did you call the police?” She huffs. “Yes, and I think they’ve been fucking bribed, because they pretended they didn’t even know who Egghead was! Can you believe that?”

I made him a repeat villain because honestly, I just thought it was more compelling that way. They know who he is already, Simon can grumble about him, they have egg-themed quips at the ready, etc. 😂 

As for the name, Egghead. I love how it came together because Simon is a baker, and I was able to work a couple baking jokes in there eventually. But in reality, it was me begging my superhero expert friend (named t below) to help me out with crafting this villain and coming up with some witty exchanges. A transcript of our conversation with the brainstorming and some of the rejects--

t: the gangster has a nickname right? he has to if he’s a supervillain t: make it a gimmick t: like if he has a red outfit call him mr. red or something t: he has a flamethrower and call him dragon (this made it in, later) me: Vampire already has a flamethrower t: they can be forced to fight him together me: Vampire is at home studying bc he’s a NERD t: ok he can be bald and simon can call him egghead me: THANKS I HATE IT t: simon throws him on the ground at the end of the fight - that was over-easy me: I hate you where do you get this shit t: I mean it’s typical superhero stuff t: he wears yellow and white and deals crack me: This fic is so food themed I love it t: that’s your villain. that’s it. t: listen, if the Flash can have an ice skating villain, YOU CAN HAVE EGGHEAD. And he was born.

(And yes, The Flash does have an ice skating villain. AND SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ICE POWERS.)

Okay, let’s do this! Warning that this is definitely going to go through more than 500 words of the chapter. 😂 

Men dressed in black suits with bright yellow pocket squares. And larger men around the perimeter, wearing grey and holding flashlights. It looks more like a business transaction than anything; there are briefcases and money being passed back and forth, hands being shaken. “Hey!” I call. There are six men, and they all turn to stare at me, and then make a run for it. The flashlight beams dart wildly and I hear a few of them clatter to the floor. Everyone starts yelling at once and looking for an escape.

I basically watched an episode of Brooklyn-99 and crafted the warehouse drug deal based on that. 

“Don’t move. There’s only one exit,” Penny says in my ear. “And you’re standing in front of it.” I stand my ground, but no one comes near me. The suited guys stay slightly behind the muscular ones. Finally, one of them steps forward. “Mage’s Head Boy. Come to tell us off?”

This scene was also an opportunity to have Penny in Simon’s ear! I wanted them to work together more closely than just talking about superhero stuff - I wanted Penny to be invaluable to Simon’s superhero success and in on the action, too. She’s kind of modeled after Oracle from Batman throughout this fic. 

Mage’s Head Boy is a pretty transparent CO reference. 

There are times when I’m grateful for my ability to just have muscles and growl at people and make them disappear, and there are times when I wish I was witty like Vampire. This is definitely the second. I can’t think of a response to that. Luckily, I have a best friend with a head full of wit. “Tell them to fuck off,” Penny says. Then again, maybe not. What would Vampire say? I get hot and frustrated in the face of danger. He seems to get cooler the higher the stakes get. I fall into a fighting stance. “You wish.” The guy takes a step backwards. “But since I can’t bring you to the police, I suppose I’ll just have to teach you a lesson.” “That was good,” Penny says in my ear.

I obviously had to work a bit of Baz jealousy / crushing into this. I like the idea of Penny being super blunt. She’s smart and sometimes witty, but more often she just says it like it is. “Cooler the higher the stakes get” was a direct reference to the similar line in Carry On. With Simon’s last line - this scene was all about showcasing him as a “typical” superhero that you’d find in a comic, fighting a classic comic book villain. So I gave him one of those cheesy lines.

I’m surrounded. There must be fifteen or twenty of them. Eight huge muscular guys, and the rest in suits. They form a loose circle around me. Almost all of them wield knives, but I don’t see any guns so far.

I knew from the outset I wanted this to be a one-against-many fight. At this point in the story I’d set up a good dynamic for Blade vs Vampire, but not so much Blade vs. other city threats. What makes him a trustworthy hero? Simon’s origin story is that he got news attention by fighting off a group - so putting him in this group fight setting was a chance for him to shine.

A man steps out from the shadows. He’s bald, with a straight, dark mustache, and he’s wearing a pristine white suit and a shirt the colour of an egg yolk. “Egghead,” I say in what I hope is a threatening tone. The name sounds absurd. I’m glad the mask covers my mouth, because I don’t think I can keep a straight face. Penny coughs. Benedict Eggerton, better known as Egghead, is a drug lord who wears yellow and deals… crack. (I know.) (He got into crime early; his parents were poachers.) (Okay, I made that one up. I can’t help it.) I put him in jail earlier this year, but he escaped and fled north.

I was laughing so hard while writing this. You can see in the text exchange above where the suit and nickname came from. I was trying to come up with what his first name might be (my first idea was Sunny). I was so amused when I finally thought of Benedict. 😂 The poachers line is also from my friend T, and the “north” is a reference to Scotland, which comes back later as the Scotch Egg joke.

I draw my weapon, trying to look as menacing as possible. “I remember your blade being bigger,” he says, eyeing my kitchen knife. “Is it too cold for you in here?”

PFFFFFT I LOVE THIS JOKE okay so. I originally made Simon forget his sword because I thought the fight would be too easy - and going back to what I said above, he’s kind of returning to his “roots” with this fight - that spark he has that makes him a hero. And then I wrote the line “I remember your blade being bigger.” TO BE CLEAR, this was not originally intended as an innuendo. 

And then my friend said something like ‘he should turn up the heating in this warehouse then’, and I was like OH DING DING DING PENIS JOKE! 😂I’m oblivious sometimes. I’m glad I realized in time because this is honestly one of my favorite villain lines I’ve ever written.

I really, really wanted to give the “too cold” line to Vampire. It would be perfect for him. But Simon always has his normal sword with Vamp, so Egghead it was. And he instantly became an icon. 😂 

I twirl the knife between my fingers. “I can crack you anyway.” “Good effort,” Penny whispers. “But a bit rough on the delivery. 'Take a crack at you' might have been better...” “Sword or no sword,” I continue, “you’ll be an egg wash by the end of this.” “What?” Penny says. “Is that a baking reference?” Egghead cracks his knuckles, and his men rush me.

Much like Penny does later in the scene, I had a tab open of egg-related words up while writing this. I had to work in the baking reference. But a terrible one. There’s a French term for whisking eggs that basically translates to “beating eggs into snow” - and I wish it was a thing in English, because, you know, Simon Snow. Oh well. 😂 

I Google a list of ways to make eggs. Simon needs to win this fight, but more importantly, he needs to get some egg-themed one-liners in there to show them who’s boss. Chances like this don’t come around very often. 

Listen, Penny is very dedicated. I love the idea of heroes just being quick-witted and coming up with these ridiculous quips on demand. But ultimately, I thought it was funnier - and more in character for Penny - to do this. (Even though her Superhero name is Quickwit, oops.) She has the world of Google at her disposal. Egg puns may not seem important, but superhero image and reputation is half the battle.

Simon is being attacked from all angles, but he fights like a whirlwind. The bulky guys attack first, mostly with their fists. Simon kicks their legs out from under them. He throws them across the floor like they weigh nothing. “Behind you!” I say. Simon spins around and disarms the man behind him, twisting his arm, and I hear a shout through my earbuds. He grabs the guy’s knife and kicks him in the stomach, sending him sprawling. Simon Snow faces fifteen men with nothing but two knives, looking like he’s ready to explode.

I loved writing this from Penny’s POV. I am used to writing fight scenes from the POV of the person fighting, so this was definitely a cool challenge. It’s part of why I brought Penny into the scene in the first place - so I could show Simon in third person. Almost like we’re watching a movie and getting some overhead shots. From his POV, you don’t realize quite how awesome he is. So getting to showcase him like this was really fun.

I still have to wonder how Shepard knew… well, everything. 

Don’t tell anyone but I didn’t know yet either

“He’s Scottish,” I tell Simon. “Scotch Egg.”

I know. This one’s bad.

He’s a blur of gold and white in motion. He throws his knife—I have no idea where he learned to do that—and it embeds itself in one of the men’s legs. He rolls across the floor, picking up two more discarded knives.

I don’t do a ton of plotting/outlining with fight scenes, but one thing I decide in advance is where and how everyone gets hurt. I didn’t want Simon to win the fight too easily, but I did need to injure him somehow. So it wouldn’t be too easy, but also to serve as a counterpoint to the socks thing later.

I watched a lot of action sequences to write this fic, especially with the trickier one vs. many scenes. 

Simon tosses him like a sack of flour.

Couldn’t resist the baker!Simon reference.

“Hard or soft boiled,” I whisper. “Which way is it gonna be, Egghead? Hard or soft boiled?” Simon shouts. He whispers to me, “That was stupid.” Egghead raises an eyebrow. “Last chance to leave us alone, Blade.” I consult my list of egg dishes. “Give up before you get scrambled.” Simon twirls his blades. I love it when he does that; he looks like Deadpool. “It’s your last chance to surrender before you get scrambled.”

I loved the hard or soft boiled line at first. And then I wrote it down and said it out loud, just to check, and it sounded SO DUMB. 😂I almost took it out, but then figured—Simon is probably not going to think this through, either.

Maybe the Deadpool line was a bit on the nose here, but I wanted to give readers some really vivid imagery of what Simon looks like right now with these dual wicked blades kitchen knives.

“I prefer my eggs… poached,” he says. 

Even though Egghead has turned out to be quite a serious villain���there are guns, drugs, and a backstory—he is, after all, original master of the egg puns. He would never turn down this opportunity.

Egghead scrambles (ha) to his feet

I think Penny is just me in this.

“Over-easy,” I whisper.

“That was over-easy,” he says.

Not my best. But it had to be in there.

I’ll skip the serious bits, since the plot there is pretty self-explanatory, to this:

I wish he’d asked what we serve, because I have so many egg puns at the ready. Eggs-ecution. Hash-ing out justice. Karma served hard.  

My beta ashspren gave me this line, and I could not be more grateful. Imagine the chapter without this. It would be a shame.

Here are a few egg puns that didn’t make the cut, SADLY:

You're washed out, egghead

*Egghead gets angry* hey, it was just a yolk

I had to go "beat" some eggs

*uppercut* Sunny side UP!

I'll bash in your Eggnoggin’

Some people are just bad eggs

Sorry this is so long—this has been a purely self-indulgent experience. Thanks so much for this ask, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like it! ❤️ 

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

[soap-brain]

Also I do think Fury is dead too, been reading the review and in the post credits he is also murdered ... after AOU I was done with Marvel May I ask why you didn't Marvel ?

oh yeah i forgot him!! literally.... that’s so transparent @ marvel please be less obviously racist

and sure! so here goes, in completely non chronological order, a list of grievances under the cut

they literally swapped rhodey’s actor between im and im2 and were like “oh lol nobody will notice right bc all those black people look the same haha”

inconsistent,,,, fuckign,,,, writing,,,, ESPECIALLY of female characters. is natasha a femme fatale? is she actually just boobs? oh wait she has some skills!! oh no actually she is just a Body. wait she has trauma!! heck maybe that explains - oh no wait her abilities are Wearing High Heels and B00tysame with wanda: “i hate shield for these reasons - but now that my brother is dead (which shield can kinda be blamed for), i’d better join them bc they’re the good guys”gamora: “hello i’m a badass who don’t need no man, but actually i’m a whiny crying girl with a daddy complex, willing to sacrifice everything for my abuser”pepper potts. just.... everything about herjane foster... the swooning scientist who turns into a bitch and her characterization is “i don’t need no man!1!!1 oh wait he has a biceps”

benadryl calcium sulphate being cast

age of ultron. all of it. everything about it

“oh no what movie could we make? oh i know - let’s remake spiderman. again. who do we cast??? oh now i KNOW!! a nondescript white kid BUT!! this time he’ll at least not look 20 years too old”

“wow no i don’t think we could make a black widow movie... i don’t think people are interested in her character” yeah that’s because you didn’t write a character. you wrote a pair of boobs. maybe stop changing her hair style every movie and give her some fucking lines instead of a catsuit

sticking to comics is VERY IMPORTANT - unless it comes to portraying disabilities. so instead of that, we’ll give the character a wife, 2.5 kids and a picket fence

“oh shoot we need a plot! nevermind, i got it: adults not communicating. ever.”

tony stark’s entire character development happens off screen

“okay, tony stark might have ptsd, but the guy who was in a war and then time travelled and lost everyone he ever knew? nah, he’s just an asshole”

thor 2

the stakes are just????? getting so ridiculous. so in im, tony needed to make sure his company didn’t go into bad hands. in cap 1, steve needed to make sure parts of america didn’t get bombed. and suddenly the whole planet is at stake. several times. and THEN it’s half the universe, in a desperate attempt to make people care but??? i just??? can’t care??? half the universe is SO much more than i can ever comprehend but sure i guess it makes for more drama

tony “i was imprisoned once and it sucked” stark says we need to control superheroes, proceeds to imprison one because he personally thinks she’s too dangerous. more at 11

i’m sure all-seeing heimdall could NOT have seen thanos coming or anything because uhhh... magic?

it literally took them ten years to manage to write a female character that didn’t totally suck, and then only because taika waititi did it

shoot, someone put out a casting call for diverse people that are white, thin, normal looking and predominantly male 

the part where they desperately needed to hype their new movie, thusly starting the team cap vs team iron man nonsense that i could write a whole fucking novel about bc wow lookie unnecessary drama for no reason other than to increase sales

generally the whole civil war thing was just so??? odd and nonsensical. on the one side you have tony stark, who consistently refused to hand over his super suit or be put in check by the government, suddenly calling for superheroes to be put in check; on the other hand, you have steve rogers who experienced that the us government cannot be trusted in tws suddenly believing that the us government will make things right again or something??? you have tony trying to guilt trip steve into agreeing to those accords by basically holding a gun to bucky’s head; you have tony suddenly trying to murder someone who was so obviously brainwashed and coerced into killing tony’s parents; the movie also tries really hard to go the “uwu generous tony stark” route but really, all i see is him giving to those mit graduates while there are SO many others who would need it more

all the random characters missing things... like.... ant man suddenly showing up in civil war but then never again. clint being here and gone the next moment toothor conveniently always off planet due to uhh bifrost problems?? him not wanting to come??sidekicks showing up in one movie but then not in the next bc they’re suddenly busy or something???

name one female character who hasn’t had some sort of relationship “defining” her

also name one female character that doesn’t wear tight, revealing clothes

so that’s just off the top of my head. also the jokes are getting very... predictable and standard fare. next they’ll have to add a laugh track or something

basically ever after the point if civil war was just this stupid “iron man vs captain america” thing that made everyone nut about it (and still has the team cap vs team iron man dichotomy going on) i just.... got so tired. it’s always like “but MY character has done THIS great thing while YOUR character is just the worst person to ever walk the planet!!1!”

and then the whole n*zi steve thing happened, which further lost marvel my trust, and then they announced infinity war, aka “we cast all these famous people who cost a lot of money, now praise us for our ingenuity”

and alsoooooo the movies are all starting to be... pretty much the same. exchangeable hero with their loyal sidekick are having a good time, but oh no, a Bad appears, the hero is disgraced / fallen for a while, then stands back up because they are a Hero. the message is Be A White Man, the jokes are standard Tough Male Comedy. there is at least one character characterized by either Boobs, Ass or Sex Scene To Introduce Boobs Wearing Character

also i mean there are my personal issues on why tony stark and all his grandeur and grand gestures actually mean shit but that’s kinda personal and i don’t wanna get into that

so there you have my off the top of my head criticism of marvel - racism, sexism, inconsistent and boring writing, inconsistent characterization, no character development, constantly making wild reaches for plot lines

(the only marvel movies i’ll stan forever are, in order of goodness (lowest to highest) tws, ragnarök, black panther)

[whatdoyoustallfor-blog]

911 / mr. lonely - peter parker x reader

fandom: the avengers/peter parker

word count: 1335

character pairing: tom holland’s peter parker x reader

warnings: none ion think

prompt: Hey dude I read that cuddling helps you sleep better, you wanna try it out? (taken from this prompt list)

notes: i watched spider-man yesterday and i busted a fat nut bc it was everything i expected and more. the fucking rubble scene fucked me up so bad omg. tom holland has been, is and always WILL be my unproblematic fave. anyways enjoy i’ve been gone for like a week. (again, gif isn’t mine. idk whose it is. props 2 them n stuff. u guys rock) UHHHHH ALSO i wrote these all in microsoft word instead of wattpad (lmao) so everything is capitalized now???? weird. 

Hey dude I read that cuddling helps you sleep better, you wanna try it out?

-

Sleep has never been a close friend of yours.

You often lay awake at night, staring at your ceiling until sun shone through your windows, and you were forced to get out of bed and start your day. Of course, the rest of the team wasn’t aware of your sleeping habits, until one day, you collapsed during training before even getting hit.

“I’m worried about you, kid,” Tony explained, sliding you a cup of coffee. “you might be a superhero, but you need sleep just as much as the rest of the world.” You raised an eyebrow as you took a sip of the bitter drink.

“I could say the same to you,” you drawled, placing your mug on it’s coaster. “I’m not sure what exactly it is you expect me to do, Tony. Try sleeping? Trust me, I’ve tried. I just… can’t.”

“Maybe you need a cuddle buddy,” Tony joked, placing his cup in the sink and leaning against the counter. “if you’re ever down for a bit of a cuddle, you know where to find me.”

“No thanks, old man,” you grinned at his glare. “I think what I need is a drug to knock me out for 8 hours.” Due to your enhancement, there was no over-the-counter drug that could bring you the sleep you desperately needed.

Tony snorted. “A horse tranquilizer, you mean?” you felt a lot better after flipping the bird to his back.

That night, you were preparing for another sleepless 8 hours when a knock on the door made you get out of bed earlier than you expected.

“Peter?” the last person you expected at your door was Peter Parker, yet there he was, standing in his pyjamas with a pillow in his hands. “What are you doing here? Is everything alright?”

He nodded quickly, and you caught the way his fingers tapped against his thighs nervously. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s cool,” he said easily. “Um, Mr. Stark mentioned that you’ve been having trouble sleeping?”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “He did?” Peter only nodded in response. “Well, I hope you’re here with a couple of lines of ketamine, because that’s probably my only cure at this point.” You laughed when Peter’s eyes widened. “I’m kidding. Relax. Come in.” He walked in, allowing you to close the door behind him. You walked ahead of him, taking a seat at the edge of your bed. “So what’s up?”

Peter cleared his throat, and took a seat next to you, holding his pillow to his chest. “Well, I read that cuddling helps you sleep better. Wanna try it out?” Your jaw dropped, and Peter began to panic. “W-Well- Uh, I only meant- Like, you know what? I’m just gonna-.”

“Wait!” you grabbed his wrist to stop him from leaving, pulling him back. “wait, uh. I think that might work, actually.” Truthfully, you had no faith in this plan and wherever Peter read this, was probably not a reliable source. But Peter was hot and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have the slightest of crushes on him.

Peter looked hopeful. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged and took his pillow from him. “wouldn’t hurt to try, right?” Peter’s heart was racing as he nodded, watching you place his pillow next to yours and climb into bed. “You coming?”

“H-Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, of course,” he said, walking over to the opposite side of the bed and climbing under the covers. He turned onto his side to face you, raising an eyebrow at your stiff figure. “Is this your first time cuddling someone?” You nodded bashfully, and he grinned. “Well, come closer, first of all.”

You shuffled closer to him, swallowing thickly. “Like this?”

He covered up his laughter with a cough, reaching over to take your hand. “Is this okay?” he asked, looping an arm over your waist and tugging your body closer to his, chests pressed together. He waited for you to nod and curl your hands up on his chest before continuing. “Relax,” he said, one of his hands coming up to brush the wisps of hair away from your face. “you know I’m not gonna hurt you.”

That wasn’t your issue. You knew Peter would never hurt you; he was too gentle of a soul for that. But you weren’t kidding when you told Peter this was your first time cuddling. You didn’t know how to do this- what if you messed up? Could you mess up? You weren’t sure how these things worked.

“I know,” you said quietly, feeling yourself relax against Peter’s body. “this is just-,”

“New?” He guessed. You nodded. “Don’t worry. Cuddling comes naturally. You’ll get it.”

And eventually, you did. You weren’t sure how long the two of you were lying there, just talking, but eventually, you’d stopped, feeling yourself become less and less cognitive and sleepier. This was a new sensation to you, seeing as you were actually ready to fall asleep before 7:00am. You remember pushing your face into the crook where Peter’s shoulder and neck met, letting out a content sigh. That’s how you fell asleep, you think, with Peter’s hand splayed across your back, breathing quietly into your hair.

So of course, you woke up half on top of him, one of your legs slotted between his. Peter had an arm around your waist, holding you steady atop of him. One of your arms was crossed over his chest, your thumb pressed to his cheek. This was the most peaceful state you’d been in, in a long time.

“Holy shit, he did it!”

Peter cracked open a bleary eye to see four of the earth’s mightiest heroes peaking their head through your bedroom door, which was hardly cracked open. His eyes shot open once he realized the position the two of you were in, glancing down at your sleeping body then back up at Tony, who had his eyes narrowed and teeth gritted.

“Fuck, he’s awake.”

“Hands to yourself, Parker.”

Sorry, Mr. Stark! Peter mouthed as you somehow managed to move closer onto Peter, nose brushing his neck. He remained helpless as you breathed slowly, obviously still asleep- so he thought.

“Are you guys seriously spying on them?” Peter could detect Steve’s voice and silently thanked the heavens for his sudden appearance. “Come on, let the kids sleep. They deserve it.” As Steve escorted everyone away, and re-closed the bedroom door, Peter relaxed, squeezing you lightly and resting his cheek on top of your head. He knew there was no way he was going to get back to sleep, but he was willing to lay there and hold you until you woke up, if that’s what you needed.

“Are they gone?” you hummed, your voice still scratchy from sleep. You stretched, arching your back as you yawned. “God, that was an invasion of privacy. Sorry for this, by the way. I’m kinda all over you.”

“I don’t- I don’t mind,” Peter stuttered, suddenly very aware of all the ways your body pressed against his. “Really. I’m glad you found a way to sleep.”

You propped yourself up on your elbow, staring down at Peter with a sort of fondness you couldn’t identify. He looked really good, for someone who just woke up. His hair was a fluffy mess that stuck up instead of combed to the side, and you couldn’t deny that he suited it. And you never really cared for brown eyes until you saw them on Peter’s face.

“Thanks, Parker,” you said, leaning down to press your lips to his cheek. “I appreciate it.” You rolled out of bed, and you could feel Peter’s eyes on you as you stretched. Holding back your laughter, you made your way to your washroom. “I’ll see you around.”

“Y-Yeah, no problem! Anytime,” he stuttered, watching the bathroom door close behind you. He touched his hand to his cheek, and grinned. “anytime.”

[alittleagreste]

hey just another miraculous AU

JUST A PSA IM ON MOBILE AND IT WONT LET ME PUT A READ MORE??? I went all out I wrote like the entire plot of the movie Has a tangled AU been done??? Probably ??? Who cares ??? Okay so -“this is the story of how I died… OH DONT WORRY ITS A FUN STORY HAHA!! and it starts with a magic, golden flower” -Queen Momma Agreste gets hella sick and she’s gotta have this baby right, so King Gabriel sends for the ‘mythical’ golden flower -surprise surprise they find the flower, which completely enrages a forest wizard named Hawkmoth who has been using it for its intense power and the immortality it grants -Queen Momma Agreste drinks the flower tea and boom we have a baby prince, Adrien, with a full head of blonde locks and he’s just cute and all is good -of course Hawkmoth wants to join the fun so he kidnaps Adrien for the powers his hair possesses -so Hawkmoth and Adrien are living up in this tower in the woods now and Adrien learns to recite this poem to use his power (the song basically but spoken) -King Gabe and Queen Momma Agreste light off these little butterfly lanterns on his birthday and there’s just a swarm of glowing butterflies on his birthday and he knows its for him -also important Adrien befriends a little chameleon that he names Plagg ;) -So fast forward like nearly 17-ish years and cut to scene with Marinette, Chloé and Sabrina all pulling off a sick heist to steal the Crown of the Black Cat, which is basically Adrien’s crown he was supposed to get on his coronation day -(So if you haven’t caught it yet, Adrien is Rapunzel and Marinette is Flynn Ryder) -So basically Marinette’s nom de plume is Ladybug, its what she goes by on all her heists and what she’s wanted as -So anyway Her and Chlo and Sab all break into the castle and snatch the crown, they get chased by the guards, including the best guard Alya, and the best horse Tikki -Cue a joke by Mari with her wanted poster about how they “ just can’t get my ____ right” each time it’s a different thing -after this, ur girl Ladybug totally is selfish at this point in the story and takes the crown and leaves Chloé and Sabrina for the guards -Alya gets thrown off of Tikki but Tikki still chases after Marinette. Until Marinette finds a hidden lil cave, that’s more like a lil rock hallway that leads to a meadow with a fairly nice tower -So what should Marinette do?? Climb the tower of course! -Don’t worry Adrien doesn’t hit her with a frying pan, she literally eats shit when she walks in and knocks herself out. Clumsy Girl y’know. -Adrien is just like ???? Wt F wHo thE heCk just smacked their face on my floo- ITS A FEMALE WHAT PLAGG HELP WHAT DO I DO IVE NEVER SEEN A REAL LIVE GIRL ONLY IN THOSE BOOKS -Plagg is very obviously annoyed and is like “boi put her somewhere and show hawkmoth you can handle yourself (even though she knocked herself out)” -Adrien kinda catches on so he literally just pulls her to a closet and puts her in -her bag falls open as he’s moving her to an upright position and the black crystals of the crown catch his attention -basically an “ooh shiny!” moment,,And he takes it and looks in the mirror and tries to figure out what it is -he puts it on his arm and looks through it and then puts it on his head -and he’s like “woah I look like those princes from my book” “haha as if” -(LIKE BOI YOU ARE SHHSHDJS) -anyway so hawkmoth comes home from wherever the hell he went, town or whatever idk, and Adrien is like !! FATHER LOOK WHAT I DID!! -Hawkmoth does not care literally at all he’s like “Adrien please recite your poem for me it calms me” and Adrien rushes through it and HM is just like ??? bOI -Adrien tries to show him our girl Lady Luck -Hawkmoth will have None of That -“You can’t handle yourself, the world is dangerous” -He literally doesn’t listen to Adrien’s pleas to leave the tower at all either -“you are NOT like anyone else! You are my son!” (u thought) -so what does Adrien do?? Plan an escape plan, and sends HM on a mission that will take like 3 days or smth -Adrien has long hair btw I forgot to mention just not nearly as long as rapunzel’s was -His is more like maybe brushing the floor -and hawk moth climbs a rope ladder or smth to get in there’s plot holes leave me be -ANYwaY after hawkmoth leaves, he tapes Mari to a chair or ties her or something -and Plagg wakes her up by sticking Camembert in her mouth -and she’s like !!! WHAt the HEck Ew -after she wakes up Adrien is like “what you want why you here please don’t kill me” -When he steps into the light and she sees him she’s literally rendered speechless like she can’t form words bc he is actually so beautiful -“h-hi-I mean hello- I mean-uh-why are you in this-uh-tower, who are you???” -Adrien doesn’t trust her at all bc the wanted poster in her bag and the crown literally screams criminal -he’s desperate though so he’s like “alright listen up, whoever you are, something brought you to me. Call it fate, destiny-” “A horse” “Im not finished… you were brought to me today for a reason, and that’s to help me. You’re going to be my guide” -Marinette is like “awh man I wish I could but see I have to get this cro-OH NO, WHERE IS MY BAG?” -Adrien holds it up like ;) and she’s just so done -“If you take me to see the lights tomorrow, I will return it to you, if you refuse, I’ll turn you in.” -“wait the stupid butterfly lanterns they light off for the lost prince?” -Adrien is totally in awe that they’re not some weird star thing, they’re butterflies -she shakes her head and knows she can’t really refuse so she plans it out in her head on how she can cheat the system -Adrien’s already covered that in his head though she can’t get away with anytHing -(except maybe making him fall in love with her ;)))) -So she agrees and she’s like “The names Ladybug” -he’s kinda like ¿ strange name but Okay!! “My name is Adrien!” -ANYWAy they leave the tower and Adrien is like 👀👀 this is no bueno I should not be doing this but omg I’ve never felt so FREE!!! -he has a blast omg that boy goes running through the woods and he’s laughing and he’s like “FATHER WOULD BE SO ANGRY BUT I DONT CARE” -meanwhile hawkmoth sees Tikki in the woods and has an “oh SHIT Adrien” moment -Runs back home, there’s nothing and no one there, aside from Mari’s wanted poster that fell out of the bag -meanwhile with the Lovebirds™ -He and Mari end up at this pub with some Angry men, including the bar owner Nino, and Adrien ends up singing about his dreams and everyone has fun -the scene that stemmed this idea happens with Mari singing about how her dream involves her being rich on an island -and surprise surprise Hawkmoth finds them but so do the guards and they escape through a tunnel under the pub that Nino shows them, and it leads out into the dry side of a dam -Intense Battle Scene™ -Mari is a badass but then Adrien totally comes out of nowhere like “I came here to attack and I’m honestly having a good time” -They get trapped in a cave that’s filling with water post battle bc they broke shit -they’re literally lowkey going to die and Adrien is like “I’m so sorry I got you into this mess. We’re going to die here and I’m so sorry Ladybug” -and she just softly says “Marinette” -Adrien is like “????? what” -and Marinette starts crying and she’s like -“my name isn’t Ladybug if you couldn’t tell. It’s Marinette. I called myself Ladybug because I always wanted to be like a superhero. I never was one though. All I am is an orphan with a permanent record.” -and here we have Adrien “Actual Adoration” Agreste because if we wasn’t in love with her before, he is most certainly in love with her now -and then he remembers!! -HIS HAIR GLOWS WHEN HE SAYS THE POEM THEY CAN LOOK UNDERWATER -so he’s like “marinette please go with the flow” and he recites the poem in his head and his hair just illuminates -she’s like “WHAT THE FUCJTN” -but she’s not ready for death so they dig rocks out and they end up dropping into a river -they come up on the bank gasping like “oh fuck dude” -“MARINETTE WE’RE ALIVE!!!” -“his hair glows? His hair glows! Plagg why does his hair glow???” -“Marinette?” “this is surreal. I’m dead we died” “Marinette” “what the hell is going on” “MARINETTE!” “What!” -he’s standing there dripping water and extending his hand to her -and she’s like “oh no” because he looks so hot standing there dripping water and she maybe has the tiniest crush on him -oh who am I kidding the sun rays behind him and his radiant smile sends her head over heels into complete love for this ray of light -so he pulls Marinette out of the river and they go find a lil clearing and they make a campfire -and Adrien looks at Marinette and frowns -and she’s like “What what what’s wrong is something wrong with me??” -and he just laughs a bit, “no no you just have a cut on your knee” -she looks down at her knee and winces at the long, deep cut and just shrugs it off because it’ll heal eventually -Adrien trusts Marinette to the point now that he can show her the reason he’s hidden away -“don’t freak out okay” -he holds a lock of hair in his hands and presses it to her cut and recites the poem -and Marinette is like ¿ wth boI -and once he’s done he just grins and he’s like “good as new” -Mari is confused as hell and when he moves his hand away and the cuts not there she literally opens her mouth to shriek -and Adrien is like “PLEASE DONT FREAK OUT IM SORRY” -and she’s like “hahahaha why would I freak out I’m just curious whydoesyourhairglowandwhydoesithavemagicalhealingpowershowlonghasitdonethat?” -and Adrien is sheepishly just like “forever I guess,,, that’s why I was hidden away, because people want my hair for its power.” -He moves some hair to the side to show a pale blonde lock of hair cut off at the nape of his neck and explains that if it’s cut it turns pale and loses its power -Marinette is like really shook but she pushes it down and suggests they sleep so they can be ready for the butterfly lights tomorrow -cut to scene of Hawkmoth pissed as hell in the woods as he fades into the shadows -he’s now talking to Chloé and Sabrina and making a Plan -so next day Adrien wakes up to Marinette screaming and is very confused to see her literally trying to fight a horse -like she literally almost has Tikki in a headlock and Tikki has a hoof pushing on her shoulder and shit -Adrien has never been more confused but he goes and breaks it up and he’s like “hey there girly what’s your name” and he looks at her name thing and he’s like “Tikki!! That’s a nice name!” -And Tikki whines or something and Mari chuckles or something and Tikki is back at it with trying to capture her -But Adrien hits her with these kitten eyes and is like “I realllyyyyyyy need her to take me to the kingdom so I can see the butterflies, please let me have that, then you can fight her until you can’t stand!” -Marinette is so very thankful for that one -so they head to the Kingdom, now with Tikki coming along with them -They’re having a blast and when they get to the kingdom they have all sorts of fun -Adrien shows Marinette some of the books he has at home and she shows him the books that inspired Ladybug -they get food from the market -and Adrien keeps seeing images of this baby boy with bright green eyes and golden locks and theres something familiar about everything -and then, oh boy and then, someone starts playing music and Adrien is like !! “mari come dance with me” -and she’s like “nah I’m okay you go” -and he starts dancing and soon a ton of people have joined in and Adrien comes around the circle and grabs Marinette -and they dance around with people and they’re desperately hoping it works out so they can dance together -surprise!!! They do but they join hands as the song ends and they’re like “awh damn” -so after that ends Marinette and Adrien are both blushing and she points out that it’s almost sundown and they have somewhere to go -they go out into the middle of the lake in a lil boat and Adrien is so so so excited and so is Mari bc Adrien is so happy -the sun goes down and Adrien looks at Marinette completely giddy like !! :DD -and she just smiles so wide back at him because holy fuck she’s never felt so in love in her whole life -Adrien is flicking the surface of the water and watching the waves when he sees the first light -suddenly literally thousands of butterfly lanterns are floating all around them and Adrien is just in complete awe -Marinette clears her throat and he turns to look at her and she has two lanterns in her hand -and Adrien smiles and turn behind him and grabs the bag with the crown and he’s like “I should’ve given this to you sooner, but I was scared… I’m not scared anymore. You know what I mean?” -and she just pushes it down, “I’m starting to” -AND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT -And they’re literally a centimeter away from locking lips when Marinette can see Chloé on the beach -and she decides right then to give Chloé the crown and go wherever with Adrien -Adrien of course thinks at first that she’s betraying his trust but doesn’t believe that because he loves her okay? -Cue Adrien getting worried and going to look for her -Hawkmoth fighting Chloé or something and she passes out and he sees Adrien -and he’s like “I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD IM SO HAPPY YOU’RE OKAY” (he says as he takes handfuls of his hair) -Adrien is like “yea okay but Marinette” -And hawkmoth, fricken rat, points to the boat heading toward the kingdom -and he’s like “I think she’s got something better to do” -Adrien is broke af how could this happen how could they love each other so much and just have her break the trust so easily -he’s just kinda done with it so he’s accepted it and goes back to the tower with HM -Meanwhile Marinette wakes up from getting knocked tf out and Tikki is whining super loud bc Marinette is in danger and she can tell -some guards are drawn bc of the whines and Mari has the crown tied to her hand and she’s like “shit” -they throw her in jail and she’s gonna be hung then next morning -Tikki is on a mission and she books it to Nino’s pub -back in the tower Hawkmoth has finished lecturing Adrien and leave him to himself -Adrien takes out the little kingdom flag he got and looks at it -and suddenly he starts to see the symbol everywhere -it’s hidden in all his paintings around his room -and suddenly now he knows -that baby boy is Him -he leaves his room determined to get somewhere -Hawkmoth is like ?? “What’s wrong Adrien?” -“I’m the lost Prince” -“what?” -“I’m the lost Prince! Aren’t I father? Or should I even call you that?” -oh hawkmoth is Pissed -Adrien tries to leave to go find Marinette and Hawkmoth is like “she’s going to be dead when you get there, she’s due to hang for her crimes” -and Adrien is screwed and he can’t do anything so he surrenders -back at the castle -Nino and his bar mates have arrived and they’re kicking ass for Marinette -And she ends up on Tikki’s back and is like all sappy like “thank you for saving me it means a lot really” -Tikki doesn’t care she just needs to get Mari to Adrien like now -so sick montage of tikki running to the tower -and Marinette scales the tower -and she’s in! And there’s Adrien! Chained to the wall with tape on his mouth? -and suddenly Marinette has a sharp pain in her side where Hawkmoth totally just stabbed her -she slams into a mirror and breaks it and just kinda slumps against the wall with all the shards -Adrien is flipping shit,,, he’s taking on the chains and screaming into the tape and he’s crying and she’s crying and hawkmoth is just standing over her like -“poor little thief got what was coming to her” -Hawmoth goes to grab Adrien and take him to a new area, where no one could find them -but Adrien fights him so hard -he’s yanking back and kicking -and Hawkmoth yells “STOP FIGHTING” -Adrien gets the tape off enough so he can speak -“I WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING YOU, I WILL FIGHT UNTIL THE DAY I DIE” -he glances at Mari and she’s staring at him with tears in her eyes, clenching her side -“unless…unless you let me heal her. If you just let me heal her I will go wherever with you, no fighting” -Hawkmoth doesn’t want to deal with his crap so he’s like “whatever” -he chains Marinette to the staircase banister, “in case you get any ideas” he says -Adrien runs over to her and he’s brushing her hair back from her face and he’s crying and she’s crying -and he presses some hair and his hands to her wound and he’s like “shhhh shhhh it’s okay you’ll be okay we’ll be okay” -and she’s crying so much and she’s like “no you won’t be you can’t just go be a slave to him” -and it’s in slow motion when she grabs his hair and swings a jagged piece of the mirror up and slices it at the base of his neck -Hawkmoth is y e l l i n g because there goes all the power he was able to have -Adrien is completely shocked, he doesn’t really understand what the hell just happened -all he can see is Hawkmoth drastically aging into a very very old man and stumbling until Plagg trips him and sends him falling out of the window -it takes him a whole second to realize Marinette is still in his arms, dying with no way for him to save her -“no no no Marinette stay with me, please please you can’t go” -she just weakly smiles at him and she’s like “I never got to tell you” -and she winces and tries to sit up more to reach for him -“you were my new dream” -“you were mine” -cue gross ugly sobs from me because Marinette slowly slips away -Adrien cries out in complete anguish and just holds her limp body, crying because he loved her so much oh my god -his tears fall on her face and he’s too broken to notice the golden rays coming off of her until they completely consume the room -and Adrien is so confused,,, why are all these golden rays surrounding Marinette -and she shifts in his arms and he’s like !!!!!! -he looks down at her and her eyes open and she’s like -“have I ever told you I’ve got a thing for green eyes” -Adrien barely has time to laugh before they’re slamming their lips together, crying and just so so so happy that they’re okay -they leave the tower and go back to the kingdom, because Adrien knows now that he is the lost Prince -also Marinette sort of needs to make amends with the kingdom bc she’s in love with Adrien dammit and she’s not gonna lose him -Adrien sees Momma Agreste and Gabriel -and everyone is So Happy!!! And they’re hugging!!! -And Marinette is just standing off to the side content that he’s with his family -and then momma yanks her into the hug circle -and then there’s a mini fast forward and Look at That!!! We’re at a celebration !!! -and we have some Cute ass scenes of Prince Adrien talking to the citizens of the kingdom -and Mari snatches his crown off his head -and he just rolls his eyes and they kiss -and the camera slowly pans up onto an announcement -For a royal wedding

AHHHHH THIS TOOK ME THREE DAYS TO WRITE ITS SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I LITERALLY WROTE OUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE

[mjwatson]

my spider-man: homecoming review.

there will definitely be spoilers under the cut, so do not read onward if you don’t want to be spoiled! this will also be extremely all over the place bc i am a MESS! let’s do this.

cons:

i guess the main one, my only really big complaint (the rest are very minor complaints, if they’re really even ‘complaints’ at all) are the hybrid/out of character type characters. the only one who worked for me was flash. he was fucking brilliant. and while i did adore ned with all my heart, he was ganke, and it makes me sad that miles may not get his ganke if he get films in the future bc ned was ganke. angourie’s betty brant felt wasted, and michelle... oh michelle. i wrote a huge post about her character so i’m not going to repeat myself. you can read it here, but yeah, this is definitely my only huge complaint. if they don’t at least rectify mj i’ll be really sad.

no mention of the spider senses again, or no showing that they really existed either.

no mention of uncle ben whatsoever. you could argue that line about ‘with everything that happened’ or whatever is about him, but it still wasn’t enough for me. i know we’ve seen the origin story so many times, but we need uncle ben. that’s peter’s motivation.

a little disappointed we didn’t get any iconic scenes of spidey web swinging in new york city, but i am still okay with that cause he’s still a high school student in queens and we will prob see him getting into the big city later on.

zendaya was barely in it. i know they kind of used her fame to promote, but they blew up her face on posters, used her for the entire promotional aspect, it almost felt like false advertising? but whatever it just makes me excited to see more of her.

not a huge fan of the ‘guy in the chair’ trope. it reminds me of the flash tv show and i just love how spidey is kind of a lone wolf but i mean this is BARELY a complaint, and just personal pref.

i also have other tiny little insignificant things, but i don’t know if they’re complaints. they might just me being unable to deal with change and i need to learn to adapt to certain things. i am just so set in my ways, and i am so passionate about the things i love that adaptions to certain things kind of catch me off guard a bit, but i’m not sure if it’s necessarily a bad thing.

pros:

tom holland was hands down the best peter parker/spider-man we could ever hope for. toby will always have a place in my heart, even though his adaption was very out of character, and andrew garfield will always be my spidey, just because he really brought it to life for me, but tom... holy shit. he is peter parker. through and through.

when the vulture broke the concrete ceiling down on him and his little panic attack, but then him proving to himself he can do this. that gave me chills. honestly tom knocked it out of the park. his performance was fantastic. when he's in the suit you kind of forget he's a kid. he takes down captain america. he takes down giant man. but in this scene you can see he's just a kid again, who is terrified and doesn't know what he's doing. the absolute fear in his voice fucking shook me. as @lordzuuko pointed out, the nicest touch to tom’s spider-man is that, he’s scared. and because of his age, huge scale situations scare him. he legitimately gets scared and nervous doing some things and voices out “i’m gonna die, i’m gonna die.” he knows he’s gonna die but he does it anyway because if he doesn’t do anything, other people will.

he definitely is the friendly neighbourhood spider-man. we get to see him deal with petty crime. we get to see him be the superhero we know and love; how nothing is too small for him to offer his help. PS: HIM HOLDING THAT CAT KILLED ME I AM SO IN LOVE.

tony wasn’t in it as much as i thought, which was good. i love iron man but i am glad he was only in it for as much as he was, it worked great.

the diversity and wokeness. i fucking loved it.

KAREN GOING INTO DEATH MODE AND THE EYES GOING RED AND IS LIKE LET’S KILL AND PETER IS LIKE WHAT NO

i absolutely adored the peter/aunt may dynamic. i love that they’re actually showing a relationship with the two. it’s beautiful and it was one of my favourite things about the movie.

DONALD GLOVER’S CHARACTER “I HAVE A NEPHEW” RIP MILES MY SON HELP.

michelle. the whole mj mess aside, i fucking loved zendaya and whoever she is. her character is hilarious, like one of the funniest in the whole movie. i really hope i don’t have to wait 2 more years to figure out who she is, i am tired and i just want her to be mary jane, man lol.

speaking of humour, it was just so fucking funny. and this was actually a worry of mine, that i’d put it in the cons list, cause a lot of reviews i was hearing was that it was too funny and didn’t hit the emotional mark enough. because while spidey is a wise cracking goober, there’s also so much depth in there, and it shows peter’s struggle and his pure goodness and it was just a great balance, but boy was it hilarious. i laughed so much.

him leaving the girl he really liked at the homecoming dance because he had to do something for the greater good. that’s just who peter is. putting his life on the back burner to do the right thing.

BEST AFTER CREDITS SCENE EVER ISODGHDKH (not the vulture one, though i loved how it showed him being human, and not just evil for the sake of being a villain, he was a person and he didn’t unmask peter) but omg that cap scene..... omfg. my sister, who hates waiting for credits scenes even said ���okay, that was so worth it.”

end aunt may scene “WHAT THE F--”. i thought i’d hate that aunt may finds out he’s spidey, but we saw 2 adaptions with her in that ‘does she know?’ grey area, that it’ll be cool to explore this.

happy hogan is my uncle and i love him with my entire heart.

i know it was my first point but i just have to mention it again, guys, tom was so good at peter/spider-man... like i actually am getting emotional because this mother fucker is just him. i literally teared up at some of his performances, like how dare he make me feel things? now i just need my mary jane and i will be the happiest girl in the entire world.

i did love ned. i did, he was hilarious. just a little bittersweet bc that was ganke. and flash was spectacular. tony killed it and i hope they explore his character in other films.

THEY BASICALLY DID THIS MEME AND I SCREAMED.

literally that scene when peter goes to pick up liz for the homecoming dance and then adrian answers the door... them in the car with him finding out...... i literally haven’t seen a scene that tense since the milk scene in inglorious basterds I COULD NOT BREATHE. unreal scenes.

i larb you.

PETER VLOGGING WHAT A FUCKING NERD I HATE THIS GUY SO MUCH UGH.

i loved how much peter fucked up. he is so clumsy and so bad at being a superhero and we are really gonna see his journey of being this kid who’s trying to prove himself to being the hands down best avenger at the end of this, i guarantee you.

BILINGUAL PETER PARKER MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME.

did i mention peter w/ the cat? aND THE DOG?

michelle fingering peter best scene hands down bye

that scene where he’s sitting on top of that whatever, all bloody and beaten up by the vulture. my sweet baby boy. that’s peter. this 15 year old who risks everything to save people. fkosdgdlh

guys i know i have been so worried about this movie, and i mean i still am for the future films to come, mainly for the portrayal of mary jane. y’all may think my over emotional ass is overreacting, but she is my favourite character. but all that aside, this is an amazing spidey movie. tom’s portrayal was insane, and i am so incredibly proud of him. he has worked so hard and i am really glad that he’s getting the praise he deserves. i don’t know if i’m just on a high still; maybe i’ll be brought back down to earth and realize it isn’t as great as i think it is right now, but for the time being, i am pretty happy with how it turned out. when i saw civil war i thought that tom could potentially be the best spidey we can get. with only 5 minutes of peter and 15 of spidey, i was already thinking that. so this movie just confirmed my theory. 

and i’ll end on this note: PENIS PARKER.

[suit-lady]

Look, I’m sorry that y’all gotta see this again but fuck tumblr tbh I wanted the post to actually work so here it is in link form love you xoxo

A huge thanks to the lovely Kenzi, @tomfooleryholland. This is our brainchild together, so bless her. Also, I am so sorry for the length. Also, the title is from the one scene with Childish Gambino when he goes, “I think I know what a girl sounds like.” We thought it was cute. I know you probably don’t care about all of this, so… Intro begins at 00:32, Typical Accent Stuff begins at 00:50, Get to Know Me begins at 03:22, and Tom Holland Stuff begins at 07:12. Anyways, I hope you enjoy listening to my voice for ten million years. xoxo

Also, I’m putting everything under the cut bc this post is a year long

 Intro:

What’s your name?

Url?

Age?

Where you’re from?

 Typical Accent Stuff:

Pronounce: Aunt, Roof, Route, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Alabama, Underoos, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Croissant, Pajamas, Caught, Larb Gai, Naturally, Aluminium, GIF, Tumblr, Crackerjack, Doorknob, Envelope, Tomato, Potato, Waffle, February, Human, Surprise,

What is a bubbly carbonated drink called?

What do you call gym shoes?

What do you call your grandparents?

Choose a book and read a passage from it? (Maybe own writing if they write?)

 Get to Know Me:

How long have you been on Tumblr?

What are you usually doing when you aren’t on Tumblr?

Any hobbies?

When is your birthday?

What’s something you don’t think your followers know about you?

List some of your favorite (not Tom Holland or Spider-Man related) things.

Coffee or Tea?

How many hours of sleep do you usually get?

 Tom Holland Stuff:

When did you first discover Tom Holland?

Favorite Tom Holland role?

Favorite scene/line in Spider-Man: Homecoming?

Is there a specific role you’d like to see Tom in sometime in the future?

Favorite thing about Tom?

If you ever met Tom, what do you think you’d say to him?

End:

End the audio post with any three words you’d like!

 Tags and caption under the cut:

Sorry that those of you I’m tagging are getting another notif ily

Okay, this was a brainchild in the underoos group chat, so they’re technically all tagged, but I’m gonna try to tag a bunch of you right now. @hufflepuffholland, @peterandchurros, @peterfuckinparker, @peterfightmeparker, @spideytingles, @lgbt-avengers, @softnerdypeter, @thebucckybarnes, @homecunnings, @hollandaised, @parkery, @petersyoink, @infinitypeter, @thomas-tom-holland, @notahug, @tomsh0lland, @penlsparker, @babyparker, @softspidey, @sixtiesholland. That’s all I got off the top of my head. I’m so sorry if I don’t have your user memorized I promise I love all of you. Not in underoos, I wanna tag a couple of other people because I’m a nosey ass bitch and I wanna know what your voices sound like. @bbparker, @parkrpeterr, @padfootparker….? It’s so hard to make friends if you aren’t forced to in a groupchat rip. I love you guys. Also, I know voice sharing is weird so like 100% don’t feel like you gotta. This is just a fun lil thing you can do if you want. Also, if you aren’t tagged and would like to, please do this! Just tag me please please please. Thank youuu

Captioning this took fucking forever, but whatever. I left out the majority of my thinking words because I really didn’t wanna type “um” ten thousand times. I also omitted the book passage because I figured none of you wanted to read through it. Anyways, caption below.

Hey everyone!

Okay, I’m gonna do my best to go through this as quickly as I can because it’s really long, but, before I do that, I’m gonna let you know what I’m doing. Okay. A little bit ago, I saw the regular, typical accent challenge circulating tumblr a little bit, and a friend of mine, Kenzi (@tomfooleryholland on tumblr), and I, we talked about it a little bit, and we decided it would be kinda cute if we did it as a little “get to know me” thing, and made it special for the Tom Holland/Spider-Man fandom. And, so, this is what we came up with. Alright, let’s get started!

Intro: (begins at 00:32)

What’s your name? My name is Jamie, and, on my about, it says “Jamie Rhea”… Rhea is my middle name! Url… My url is suit-lady with a hyphen in the middle! Age? I am nineteen, and I am from a little suburbian area in Indiana.

Typical Accent Stuff: (begins at 00:50)

Pronounce: (I wrote these by sounding them out because that’s the point of saying these words.) Awnt, roof, root, thee-ay-tur, eye-urn, sal-mon, care-a-mel, feye-urr, wah-tur, new oar-lans, pee-kin, bohth, uh-gan, prah-buh-blee, al-uh-bam-a, underoos, lawh-yur, coo-pawn, man-aise, cruh-sawnt, puh-jah-mahs, cot, lap guy, nat-ruh-lee, uh-loo-min-um (I actually read this as al-yoo-min-yum even though that’s not the conventional way to pronounce it in the states), jif, tum-blur, crack-er-jack (how do you what), dawr-nob, on-vel-ope, toe-may-toe, poe-tay-toe, wahh-full, feb-you-air-ee, hue-man, suh-prise. (This was weird)

What is a bubbly carbonated drink called? It’s called soda, and I will fight you on this, okay? Originally, it was called sodapop as a full name, and, if you call it pop, that’s like having a friend called Johnathan and nicknaming him Than. Ya just don’t—y—don’t do it. No. Hm-mm. It’s soda. Soda. Or call it sodapop. No.

What do you call gym shoes? I call them sneakers.

What do you call your grandparents? Okay, I was the first grandchild, so I got to name them when I first learned how to talk, and I took inspiration from what I called my parents, mommy and daddy. And so, my grandparents on my mother’s side are Mi-Mi and Pappy, and my grandparents on my father’s side are Monie and Pacaw.

Choose a book and read a passage from it. This is one of my favorite books, I read it back in highschool. It’s called Kill Me by Stephen White. (It’s most of page 13.) Alright.

 Get to Know Me Stuff: (begins at 03:22)

The fun stuff!

How long have you been on tumblr? This blog is about two weeks old, I think. And then, I’ve actually been on tumblr on a personal, main blog since I was in middle school, so five or six years..?

What are you usually doing when you aren’t on tumblr? As of late, writing…for tumblr, because I post a ton of writing. When I’m not doing that, since it’s the summer, I’m just hanging out at home a lot usually. I haven’t done very much this summer (whoops). When I’m at uni, I’m usually hanging out with my uni friends, cos, once you get to uni, you’re gonna have a lot of friends that live really far away from you, so it’s really hard to hang out unless you’re at uni, so I’ll usually be hanging out with my uni friends or doing homework and studying for engineering school because it’s…it’s rough.

Any hobbies? Writing, obviously, but I like writing all kinds of things, including poetry. I really like poetry. And then, I like reading a lot. I don’t read as much as I used to, cos I don’t have as much time anymore, but I still consider it a hobby. And then, I really like fancy writing and writing letters and stuff like that. I do a little bit of modern calligraphy. It’s nothing special, but I have a lot of fun doing it, so I do it a lot…So, I consider it a hobby.

When’s my birthday? The eleventh of May.

What’s something you don’t think your followers know about you? Okay, this is something that I use for my professors at uni, because one of the “get to know you” things that they’ll always ask you is “tell me an interesting, unique fact about yourself” and so, this is something that I figure they don’t hear from many kids. Anyway, when I was in fourth grade, so I was, like, ten?ish?, I tripped over a dog leash, and I ended up hitting my head really hard on the pavement, and I ended up having head trauma for about a month, which is not a great time…So, I hope that you never experience that cos your brain has to reprogram itself, and it’s…it’s very strange.

List some of your favorite (not Tom Holland- or Spider-Man-related things). Okay, I really like sweaters, I really like stripes, and I really like plaid and flannel shirts…I have, at the very least, a dozen plaid shirts. I really like boots, specifically Timberlands and Doc Martens. I really like Converse shoes. My favorites are my white optic white high top Converse, which have not been white for months, but that’s beside the point. And then I also really, really like the really soft fleece blankets? I currently own four, and, last weekend, my mom and I went out shopping and I tried to convince her to let me purchase another one (because it may or may not have had Spider-Man on it). She refused to let me because she says I have too many. I disagree.

Coffee or Tea? I prefer tea 100% because I’m very sensitive to tannins, which is what makes coffee bitter. I actually don’t like red wine either because of the same reason.

How many hours of sleep do you usually get? When I’m at uni, I get between six and eight. At home, I’ll either say “fuck it” and just not sleep at all or get, like, two hours of sleep (which is terrible), or I’ll get between six and eight when I know that I’m doing something the next day, or I’ll get, like, more than ten. I’m really bad about sleeping for, like, fourteen hours sometimes.

 Tom Holland Stuff: (begins at 07:12)

When did you first discover Tom Holland? I first discovered Tom Holland when he was in the Civil War trailer that introduced Spider-Man to the MCU, which… Since I was a little kid, like, as long as I can remember, Spider-Man has been my absolute favorite superhero 100%. So, when the trailer came out, and I found out that they were finally introducing Spider-Man to the MCU, I literally flipped shit. I was so ecstatic, oh my goodness! So, then I had to find out who this guy was, right? It’s like, “Okay, who gets to play Spider-Man in the MCU? I have to know!” So, that’s how I discovered him.

My favorite Tom Holland role? Okay, cos I’m fake, I have only seen him in Civil War and in Homecoming because I’m trying to convince myself that it’s worth it to buy them all and binge them all because instead of pirating them I would rather support him because I’m that much of a stan. It’s terrible. But…I feel like, even after I watch all of those, I’ll still have the same opinion because of how much passion Tom has for Peter Parker and Spider-Man. Not only is he so similar to Peter Parker, like, as a person, but, since Spider-Man has been his favorite, y’know, for, like, his whole life, he just has so much love for the character, and that’s really evident in the way that he portrays Peter Parker. Y’know, actors always try to their best in portraying the characters that they’re given, but there’s something different with Peter Parker, and there’s always gonna be something different with Peter Parker for Tom…So, I have a feeling that it will stay my favorite.

Okay, favorite scene or line in Spider-Man (Homecoming I got carried away lmao). Okay, I went over this so that I would have something to say, and I got really excited during this part, so I’m gonna stick to one specifically (meaning I could not choose and talked about the movie forever…this one has just been on my mind recently). When they’re practicing for nationals for the decathlon, and Peter is telling their team advisor that he’s not gonna be able to make it to nationals, and Liz is standing up front and she’s like, “Okay, so, what’s the heaviest naturally occurring atom (element, whoops)?” and the one guy slams on the bell and goes, “Hydrogen zolitus! (colitus? I have no idea what the FUCK this is, but I can’t find it on Google. I have looked) That was not the question.” That is SUCH a mood. Honestly, that is SO me. That happens to me all the time. Y’know, you’re doing something, and you’re like, “This is 100% what they want. This is exactly perfect. This is everything that they’re asking for.” And then you do it, and the you’re like, “No. That was not even in the same realm. Nice.” So, that’s one of my favorites because that is a constant mood for me, so me. Alright.

Is there any specific role you’d like to see Tom in sometime in the future? Yes! I’m going to make a reference to his Nerdist interview that he did a while ago, and I’m assuming that you’ve heard it. In the intwerview, he talks about his brainchild of a potential movie, The Advisor, and he has so much passion and love for this little idea that he’s had for…who even knows how long he’s been formulating little details and pieces of this potential film. So, I’m just really excited see him be able to make that movie come to life?? So, it’s not a character role, but his role as the director. I’m just so excited for him to be able to direct that movie in the future and see it on screen rather than just in his mind’s eye. Alright.

Favorite thing about Tom… Physically? My favorite thing about Tom is his eyes because I’m the biggest sucker ever for brown eyes. I love brown eyes with my whole heart. I know that there are so many of you guys that have brown eyes, and you claim that they look like shit. No they fucking don’t. Your eyes are fucking gorgeous, and I hate you. I hate you when you say that your eyes look like shit because it’s not fucking true. (Somebody’s passionate.) Anyway, my favorite non-physical thing about Tom is, like I said earlier, is how passionate he is just about, like, everything that he does, and he’s not afraid to show his emotions and stuff, which is really hard for most (or like some w/e) guys because of hypermasculinity and all that dumb shit. But…He is not afraid to show how he feels, and, in interviews and stuff, his joy and his excitement is always so genuine and real, and that just makes me really, really happy. And, like, the one gifset (I’m assuming that you’ve seen it), when him and Jacob Batalon see each other at a premiere, and they run up to each other and give each other this huge hug, and they’re both so happy and excited to see each other because it’s been forever, and it’s just… -heavy sigh- It’s…it’s very precious. I… Anyway.

 If you ever met Tom, what do you think you’d say to him? Okay… The way that Tom portrays Peter Parker is very special to me. Spider-Man has always been my favorite, and I’ve always really related to Peter Parker, but, especially the way that Tom portrays him… Like, I can’t relate to him as much because I’m getting ready to be a sophomore at university, but, if this movie would’ve come out when I was beginning high school, everything that Peter does, I would be like, “Holy fuck, that is so me. That is 100% me.” Y’know, “big fucking mood” to everything that he does in this movie (aside from being Spider-Man, of course). –sigh- Y’know, so… If I told him anything, that would probably be what I would tell him, is: the amount of passion and love that he puts into Peter Parker means a lot to me because I have a similar amount of passion and love about Peter Parker and Spider-Man, and just… The way that he shows Peter Parker on screen is just, like…it’s really special to me… And I really would like to let him know that if I ever got the chance to meet him, and it makes me really emotional, and my chest is contracting, so I know that I would cry in front of him, but that’s fine, cos he deserves to hear it. Oh my goodness. Okay.

 End: (begins at 13:42)

End the audio post with any three words you’d like. Okay, I’m actually gonna end it with these three words, so I’m gonna go ahead and say this before I end it. Thank you so much for listening to this for fourteen fucking minutes. Ohhhh my god. I knew this was gonna be long, but, like, holy shit! Thanks for listening to my, like, disgusting voice for that long. I’m so sorry?? Okay, I’m gonna tag people after all of the text. I’m gonna put in under a cut so you don’t have to scroll past a bajillion names, and then I’m also gonna caption this underneath (aye). So, if you’re like, “What the fuck did she say?”, you’ll be able to tell, cos I’ll write it down. So, anyway, again, thanks for listening, and… That’s a rap!

[mc-dude]

i got an ask or two abt what i think abt ww so ok i guess here it goes.. im gonna skip a buncha spaces because there will be SPOILERS below the cut and i dont want mobile to get fucked

beep boop spoilers below

beep boop spoilers below

beep boop spoilers below

beep boop spoilers below

beep boop spoilers below

overall thought it was very average.. beginning was phenomenal up until right after the steve + lasso scene.. then after that it was pretty cringey up until they leave for the front (though the ice cream bit was cute and made me smile).. front scene & the village scene were both god-tier quality.. gala scene was just completely unnecessary and didn’t really serve any purpose other than to show gal looking stunning af.. rest of movie after that was pretty corny and uninteresting for me tbh

things i liked:

gal is flawless and i love her & all of the amazons

the fight choreography was pretty fucking good, especially in the village

i liked the scottish guy from their little group but i feel like the rest of the characters didn’t get that much development

music was really good

color grading was super nice

themyscira was incredible

things i didn’t like so much

honestly... the steve and diana romance seemed very rushed and unbelievable.. especially the first moments when he’s straight up naked it was so rom-commy i visibly cringed.. i would have preferred to see more friendship between steve’s secretary and diana rather than more steve scenes zz.. or just make gal only interested in havin sex with a dude for the novelty of the situation rather than trying to build an actual romance in like 30 min.. they either needed another hour on the movie or go in a different direction imo, their relationship was very weak 2 me.... maybe i just don’t like steve bc he’s a boring char lmfao

the whole ares plot was very weak tbh.. i thought it had a really good setup and thought they would do some cool ares-manipulating-people thing where he inhabits different people’s bodies to get them to continue the war or w/e but after the initial guy (who was obviously not ares) was killed, instead of there being any consequences of that ares just fuckin.. appears.. sup diana it was me the whole time.. idk it really took out a lot of the shock factor and kinda ruined the whole twist for me.. made me wonder what the point of the twist was when they weren’t gonna go anywhere with it anyways

however much i love the guy who played remus i don’t think he should have been ares.. like i felt like it would have been a way better Look if ares was just an entity that possessed random people, like instead of the battle being in that dude’s body he would abandon poor remus and become the manifestation of the god of war or w/e.. idk his face just did not look menacing behind that helmet lmfao

the whole end battle was super overdone but later i realised it was exactly like a comic book so maybe that was what they were going for.. one-liners and laser blasts.. i can definitely see geoff’s hand in that final battle scene lol that’s exactly how he wrote end of spectrum & darkseid wars

my only criticism of gal was that i don’t think she appeared distraught enough during the gassed village scene.. and also just didn’t display enough emotion in general (for me).. i get why they didn’t have her display that many emotions, because they had something to prove with the first female-led superhero movie and they would probably face a lot of criticism if gal appeared too emotional (bc female stereotypes) or w/e.. or maybe its just an issue with gal idk.. but i dunno by making her an actual god it kinda killed her relatability for me. i never identified that much with wonder woman but i wanted to at least empathize with her in some of the more emotional moments but i just found either the direction or her acting kind of lacking in those moments that were supposed to be super emotional. not my biggest concern with the movie, but it did make me less able to sympathize with her which is kinda what i look for in a solo char movie

they also never said how steve & the rest of the germans were able to get into themyscira.. i was thinking during the movie that it was ares letting them in to like, lure out diana or something, but nah.. they just never explained it

OH YEAH another thing that always pisses me off in movies in general........ everyone was speaking english. the germans. the amazons. ok fam!!!! i have the ability to read just do subtitles it really breaks my fuckin immersion

overall i guess i went in with too high expectations and came out disappointed (as I usually do).. movie was just incredibly average when i expected it to be exceptional. shrug!! im not really that big of a ww fan so i guess i dont really care abt it that much but i was hoping the movie made me become more of a ww fan and it just kinda reaffirmed that she isn’t really the char 4 me.. a god tier (literally) beautiful warrior who kicks ass.. nah.... can’t relate.... hal who slips on bath soap and knocks himself out in the morning.. that’s me fam that’s me.. overall this movie was a good thing for the industry & for women as a whole and i hope it makes tons and tons of money so that they will keep making women-led superhero movies but yeah.. just not the right char for me!

[solienna]

i was going to be like 'all of them' but that would be mean so instead im 'just' going to ask for 1, 4, 8, 10, 13, 17, 21, 28, 32, 33, 35, 47, 50,

putting this under a readmore bc meander!!! you spoil me

01: When did you first start writing?      okay i actually am gonna give you two answers to this question bc i feel like i started writing at two periods in my life. the first time i actually started writing was in third grade because i had like. the BEST third grade teacher, he was awesome and in my eyes was like, the best artist i had ever met just bc he had a basic grasp of how to draw shit and i absolutely didn’t and still don’t, every time teachers tell me to draw things for an assignment i lose ten years off my lifespan but anyways!! off topic. he really encouraged creativity and i was in a class with one of my friends, his name was like john or michael or something, and i would write and he would illustrate (i thought he was the second-best artist i had ever met just bc he also had a basic grasp on drawing and i still didn’t). i wrote about like. this dog and his name was super yuff and got his powers through lightning that struck him and he just flew around and like. idk he did a lot of shit, i still have the stories i wrote. but like i was DEDICATED to this character and so was my illustrator friend. i remember one weekend i was just sitting on my bed with a bunch of folded up printer paper just writing about this dumb superhero dog that somehow ended up in like the halo universe bc even back then i was obsessed with video games. that was the first thing i actually WROTE.         HOWEVER. after third grade i just took a huge break. like not intentionally, of course. i loved writing but i didn’t know it was my THING yet. i didn’t really have a thing yet, it was only third grade ok. HOWEVER. when i transitioned into middle school that’s when i picked up writing again. i don’t even remember why. all i know was that my dad had bought skyrim and he was playing it and just by watching it i LOVED it. i adored the history behind the game and i just loved the graphics, and when i started playing the game i got HOOKED. stayed up entire nights just doing random side quests for npcs and feeling a huge goddamn hero, let me save this talking dog from the wrath of his daedric master nbd, just doing my job, let me set all these beehives on fire and get mauled by a bear, cool cool. and one day i just? was like wow, why don’t i write a story about it! about my skyrim OC going to solstheim and falling in love with the aloof nd really sarcastic and interesting teldryn sero (who still remains one of my favorite skyrim npcs to this day)!! and i thought i was Hot Shit too, i thought i fucking invented fanfiction. and then i found wattpad and then that was that folks, i got hooked on writing all over again and i still am

04: Have you ever thrown a book across the room?      mmmm not that i can recall? i’m not really a book-thrower, i’m more of a book-holder. like if something really shocking happens in a book i feel like i’d be more likely to hug it close to my chest than throw it08: What’s the best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten?      tbh pretty much everything you’ve told me meander!! i don’t really think i’d be writing that much if not for you. honestly you flatter me on a daily basis with your compliments about my really pretentious use of metaphors in like every single paragraph and basically just with your interest in all of my writing projects even for fandoms you’re not technically in!! i’ve never really been told by anyone that i’ve got a way with words and when you told me that i was like wow!! people actually like the shit i write, that’s cool! that’s real cool my guy10: What’s your biggest writer pet-peeve?      honestly i THRIVE on feedback. i took a huge writing break like a few years ago just because i couldn’t WRITE the way i used to. to just sit down and spew out 5000 word chapters on a whim wasn’t something i could feasibly DO anymore. i thought i lost my touch or something but it was honestly just because i didn’t get enough feedback. again shout out to u meander because you legit FLOODED me with feedback on like. everything. i’m still over the moon about half the shit you’ve told me like a year ago. tbh half the reason i yell in the tags is because creators read the tags!! they really do!! so i wanna leave some positive feedback for them because i want them to know that i liked whatever it was that they made!!

13: What’s your favorite writing quote?       it’s not really a writing quote but!! “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” -C.S. Lewis21: Do you outline?      i honestly burst out laughing when i saw this question, i do not in any way whatsoever outline anything bc apparently i hate myself. ok the last time i outlined a story was like four years ago and it worked…. really well…… so for some reason i was like wow how about we not make our lives easier. no outlining our fics we ruin our own writing projects like men

28: Which do you find hardest: the beginning, the middle, or the end?      everything, everything is hard, i can’t write in a linear fashion. nah but tbh i feel like it’s the middle? like what do you even do. what is the middle all about. i’ve never met her32: How do you feel about friends and close relatives reading your work?      ABSOLUTELY NOT. get them away. i am very protective of my writing bc it’s personal to me. like i don’t want y’all reading my shit and then going up to me in real life thinking you know all my secrets bc if u read my shit you WILL know all my secrets, i painstakingly pour my heart into everything i write because in everything i do, i try REALLY REALLY hard. if i let u read my writing it’s a show of trust33: Are you interested in having your work published?      in its current state? probably not!! maybe later on down the road would be nice, but i’ve still got a lot to learn //side-eyes all my failed attempts at witty dialogue35: What’s your favorite time of day for writing?      nighttime. like dead of the night, i’m in bed with my phone and should be asleep right now but instead i’m gonna grab my laptop and fucking dump out all the words in my brain onto this word document. other than that i honestly just write during school a lot? like when we get free time i’m either studying for a test or writing.47: If you could steal one character from another author and make then yours, who would it be and why?      i want to take preston garvey out of bethesda’s hands. i’ve fallen in love with him over the course of just writing one scene for his character study. it’s the second-to-last scene (bc i cant write in linear order) and like. gosh. i want him to be my character, he’s so sad but also so optimistic and he tries so hard. ok those kinds of characters are my Type, i love characters who try really hard 

50: If you could live in any fictional world, which would it be?      i’m honestly not really sure? like hardcore i love daydreaming but it’s never about myself doing cool things, it’s about characters doing cool things. i kinda wanna meet an omnic tho, they seem really chill. maybe like live in falkreath? it’s really chill and pretty there and the mountains are really looming and i like that. imagine meeting the dragonborn and they buy out your entire store and then just leave. thats fucking crazy my guy

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: Criss-Crossed

This week, @soundofez​ dropped by to chat about her 2016 Resbang, Criss-Crossed! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: What was your favorite scene to write?

fez: Fave scene hands down was the opening scene, it was one of the first I wrote. I had a lot of fun with Spirit's texts though. x)

Q: Did you always plan for two pairings to be developed simultaneously or did it pop up in the middle of planning?

fez: Deffo planned for the two pairings and it was HARD AS BALLS.

Q: How did you decide which characters would be temporary villians?

fez: I just wanted the villains to be recognizable characters with significant ties to either Soul or Maka? There's actually a pretty neat split: Tsubaki and B*S are the friends, Wes and Spirit are the family units, Tsubaki and Wes are Soul's, and B*S and Spirit are Maka's. Stein and Marie, of course, were there to be relevant to their plotline, and Crona is the forever villain. Arachne used to be Medusa until... um... canon parallels + plot relevance. In terms of who tf knows what's going on between her and Lord Death? Certainly not me. Medusa was going to have a creepy fixation on Stein.

Q: Did you secretly plan to make people fall in like with ML? *eyebrow waggle*

fez: Yes. Unequivocally. Ngl I want it to be an ML gateway fic. :^)))))

Q: ACTION SCENES. HOW DID YOU APPROACH THEM?

fez: ACTION SCENES WERE #STRUGGLES. I just sat down and like, forced myself through them. Like, k. Where are they? What are weird things that lucky charm can take advantage of? I freaking h8 lucky charm fjadsklfjasklfjka. A goddamn DIY PROJECTOR IS A CANON THING LADYBUG DID AND I SALT 5EVER.

Q: My question is why did you make Maka Chat and Soul Ladybug instead of vice versa?

fez: Uhhhhh 95% aesthetics, but tbh Maka's approach to fights is really a lot more like canon Cat Noir/Adrien, and Soul has more than enough self esteem issues to parallel canon Ladybug/Marinette. I h8 h8 h8 red-eyed cat, and I might be like wayyyyyy too attached to green-eyed cat Maka. You don't understand, I drew cat Maka and bug soul [in] like... October 2015. I have been on the cat Maka/bug Soul train for eternity.

Q: So, sequel??

fez: MAYBE SEQUEL BUT ONLY WHEN ML GIVES ME MORE CANON THINGS TO WORK WITH, AND NOT A MOMENT BEFORE.

Q: Why'd you decide to go for "they're superhero friends and irl enemies" instead of the love squad?

fez: Superhero friends + irl enemies was 100% a product of ml origins episodes. And to be fair, Soul didn't really hate her. Maka just... Maka.

Q: Did your plot outline always stay the same?

fez: NO, MY PLOT FREAKING BOUNCED ALL OVER THE FREAKING PLACE. I mean, the big overarching plot was the same b/c ch8 was like... the second chapter I finished writing? But. Man. Kid used to be like an actual student. He got lost. Crona was supposed to be more... present ahaha. Everyone started as freshman (w/ upperclassman b*s) but then like... idk I kept writing soul and I just... "bb u r not a freshman. 2 mature." Medusa, ofc, used to be the main antagonist in the way early drafts. TWO CHAPTERS SWAPPED PLACES ON ME LIKE TWO WEEKS BEFORE POST DAY. Franken used to be a doctor instead of a grad student struggling to publish. There used to be a Rachel/Arachne/Excalibur mashup villain in the works That one made it into my claims summary lmao.

Q: Omfg. What would have been their supervillain name?

fez: Idk but the chapter title would've been "The Itsy Bitsy Spider."

Q: Do you have deleted scenes? :)

fez: YOU KNOW I HAVE DELETED SCENES, I CRIED TO YOU OVER MY TOO MANY DELETED WORDS. I THINK I HAVE LIKE 50 DELETED SCENES. 7K. 7K DELETED WORDS.

Q: How do you have a villain mashup of Excalibur and Arachne? I NEED TO KNOW.

fez: I don't even remember how this Rachel/Arachne/Excalibur villain was supposed to go, I never got farther than just "this villain exists I guess." This was before i like.... logicked out that the villains should be tied to Maka and Soul somehow. 

fez: Also for cat Maka and bug Soul: look just loOK AT HOW PRECIOUS THEY ARE: http://soundofez.tumblr.com/post/132631437973/its-a-love-square-between-two-people-x-the. 

fez: I already knew that Blair would be Maka's kwami. I have Kwami Headcanons and this fic was the perf time to Indulge. Part of those headcanons dictate that cat Soul would never be able to have a kwami like Blair. And like... what a waste man. That's more ML territory so idk if I wanna go into em here? But yo, dm me and I will give you All The Things.

Q: What kinda music, if any, did you listen to while writing this?

fez: I'll have a more complete list in a moment but the big one was this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdQpngguJpM 

fez: maka// this is halloween, marilyn manson  soul// l'autre valse d'amélie, yann tierson stein// fairy blue, ama lo & dj lee (i think?) marie// fuck you, lily allen tsubaki// cosmic love, florence + the machine sebastian// immortals, fall out boy spirit// take a break, phillipa soo wes// fragments of memories, ffviii crona// demons, imagine dragon arachne// come little children, erutan more songs: everytime we touch, cascada thinking out loud, ed sheeran E18, detektivbyran grey, project ml

Q: The antibug and catastrophe scenes were some of my fave scenes, did you draw from the Envy chapter for that scene? Bc it seemed that way to me, esp with Maka's breakdown, but I wanted to check and also just hear you talk about your thought process for those scenes.

fez: OH YES DEFFO. My notes have "see Eibon chapters" lmao. Like... man Maka has Issues. So many issues. And I wanted to address them. Maka is not an angel, ok? She petty and she has to Learn. She does not forgive, and that's why her arc is so focused on forgiveness. Like... one of the first lines I wrote was "cat, you are just not nice" b/c I Knew I had to. OH. LEMME SEE IF I CAN DIG UP MY SHITPOST. fez: http://soundofez.tumblr.com/post/153369132853/me-needs-maka-to-come-up-with-her-alternate 

fez : DESTRUCT-O-CAT. I DIED LAUGHING, I THINK I TOLD LIKE EVERYONE I COULD. INCLUDING ML FRIENDS LMAO. Originally Soul was gonna be lucky bug, then I realized no. He derp. And [I needed to] give Maka a reason to love him... accidentally? I need the crushing. And Maka was gonna be black cat b/c she is not French, no sirree. And then, well... Destruct-O-Cat. I almost squeezed that into a scene. Originally B*S and Maka were the ones who were gonna get littled.

Q: How'd you come up with Soul's kwami?

fez: Oooooh. I struggled? B/c I didn't want him to be an OC but he... definitely wound up being an OC. I considered using Wes but... you know... actual brother lmao. [He was] strongly inspired by Tikki for sure.

Q: Kid being Death's kwami was one of my favorite lil gems. At what point in planning did you come up with that?

fez: KIDDO HAPPENED ALMOST BY ACCIDENT. I was just trying to wrap up ch 8 and I realized Kiddo exactly follows the kwami name scheme. It was a Moment.

Q: How did you work out Soul's mom as a character? Did anything influence how you portrayed her?

fez: Ahhhhhh I never liked Mama Evans? Something about her feels like the Smother, in my head I mean. And like... man idk. Been dealing with Unpleasant Feelings at the state of the world, partly directed at oblivious rich people who just... don't get it. They think they're the sun, moon and stars but they really really aren't. I do think she came out flatter/more stereotypical than I would've liked but I also wrote her like... the week of posting rip. I vaguely wanted her to run into Shibusen and be like, ridiculously charmed. Enough to resolve her wanting Wes to Do Better For Himself, but it didn't happen :') I wish I had time to like... make her not so shallow, but I'm also not sure how I would've pulled that off. I mean she's intuitive she just... happened to be wrong about the maid lmao. I enjoyed writing that immensely, ngl. Random humor in the middle of this lady is nuts. She sees what she wants to I guess? Or she assumes. She thinks Wes likes the xxx so she... yeah. There's probably history involving bad first times and short ex relationships in there.

Q: Ahahaha omg which reminds me, that was such a different portrayal of Wes. Most people do write him as into xxx, how did you come to it?

fez: Ahhhhh man i just... I like uncommon interpretations of characters, and I like playing with Wes's character b/c he doesn't have a canon one, and I just thought... everyone makes him super different from Soul but what if he's really not? He's just a grown Soul who Soul thought had his shit together b/c he was so much older. He'd Learned how to be Perfect for his parents but like.... that doesn't mean he liked it. The thing about Soul and Wes going to separate colleges was deffo lifted directly from my college experience. I applied to my brother's uni but I didn't gun it b/c I knew my mom would move down with us if i got accepted and... I love my mom, she is much better than this version of Mama Evans, but No. Nooooo no no no no.

Q: Was there a scene you super struggled with writing or found easier than you thought??

fez: Uhhhh, I thought Soul and Maka would fight more in the library in ch 6, but they settled down pretty quick ahah. Almost too quick?? I was Nervous like... what? Is this okay? Are they being too logical? What's going on? I thought it would be +500 words of Whispered Library Fighting. Most of the action scenes slid past once I sat down to write them? I just didn't like writing them. 

fez: Deleted scenes: so many reveal iterations, so many cat confesses iterations.

Q: Omg pls feed them to me, I loved the reveal.

fez: "'I’m in love with you, dummy,' Maka snaps, feeling her face burn." There's [also] a Soul POV ladybug-reveal iteration. It's... kinda long tho. Do you just.... want the doc? lmao: https://docs.google.com/document/d/11DbejHYa3Cow5frrf2yhO9zHRPac5Zqkv-gvuVD2BJM. [fez would like everyone to know that the doc is, in her opinion, messy ;D]

Q: You did multiple resbangs, how did you manage balancing art and writing?

fez: It helps to like... not have a job or school or anything. When crunch time came I just kinda gunned it. I got lucky that all my resbangs posted so late too, b/c it gave me more time to finish. [For] Dolly's I probably could've uploaded the sketches for all the pages, b/c those were done Super Early. Lining comics takes so long orz. I really love Anne's, we just had so many headcanons in common. Her Resbang was actually the easiest for me to work on. Whenever I worked on it I was like... dang I already have this bit done???? :thumbsup: Julie's I honestly wish I spent more time on b/c her resbang is gorgeous and emotional and mkaldsjfklsadf. I wanted to collab with amanda and do a song mv with her song like I did for Anne but n o p e. And then ofc I just buried myself in ML AU.

Q: I liked that Soul was ladybug.

fez: Ladybug Soul is my beb.

Q: That decision kinda bugs me. (I say it solely for the pun, it is a wonderful decision.)

fez: In hindsight I know it defeats the idea of female protag that ML has? Oh good, I was actually worried. But I just... ladybug Soul.

Q: I semi-wish Arachne would have used spiders.

fez: Haaaah yeah. I didn't want to diverge that much from ML canon, and I tried to nod to the spidery thing with her scene? I think I tried for web imagery there. I don't remember if i succeeded rip. 

fez: Have some of my posting day struggles lmao:

fez: I am... a Mess™.

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Thanks so much for swingin’ by, fez! Stay tuned for more transcripts!