#and also maybe the Poe one from last month?

[beauzos]

every time i read one of B&N's picks of the month they're sooo... profoundly Not Great. except for Your Utopia which was actually pretty good. Fairy Bargains was alright. i actually would read it again, i liked it but it could be so much better than it is, too. Book Eaters was one of the worst books i have ever read.

i'm reading The Last Animal now bcs paleontology! local author, too, and it's signed and i have a mammoth doodle in it!!!! and after 5 pages i got one of those mental flags that feels like a death knell for me. one of the quickest ways to determine whether a book is good or not, in my view, is if you think, at any point, "people don't talk like this" then that's usually a good indication that a book isn't very good KRKF

dialogue's goal is not realism. but if your dialogue is so stilted or unnatural that someone notices it, you fucked it up, basically.

i don't like the dialogue, i don't really like the characters, i don't even like the prose. the book is kind of... pretentious? strange? paced weird? i don't know. i'll finish it, though. i've read about 80 pages so far and i am really not feeling it, though.

[sophietv]

It's not about kaylor but I really want to know about the song all too well. Who is it about? I think Jake G was PR. And the lyrics doesn't fit the Taymily narrative either. This song and the relationship seems very important to her. It hurt her badly. I am asking you because you always make very informative and reliable post that makes sense and closest to the truth.

Also who is Dear John about? Is it really John Mayer? Her only straight relationship I believe in is Joe Jonas.

Hi!

Thank you sooo much for saying that! It means a lot. I really can't claim that my theories are always 1000% right, but I do make a lot of research before posting, and try to cross check everything.

2. I must admit that when you asked the question, I did not have real solid theories or evidence to give you. I was even bending toward telling you that the song might be about Lizz since the timestamp of the song on Spotiy is 5:27 = Lizz birthday.

3. Considering that Taylor wrote this during Speak Now Era and that Lizz was present during that Era, well it doesn't fit the narrative of the song being about a relationship that has ended some time ago. And also, it would have been really weird to write this song during rehearsal where Lizz was present, if it was about her...

But thanks to you! I did a lot of research to try and find evidences (I read all the timelines but I'm not that well verse in what came before Kaylor and Swiftgron).

I asked what my groupchat thought about this.

Re-read the Taymily Masterpost (X)

Read and watched Taymily interviews

And now! I can say with more confidence, that I'm pretty sure this song is about Emily Poe, her fiddle player that worked with her from 2006-2008.

Now. Here's the evidences:

First. As pointed out by my group chat, the song does not seem to fit Tayliz dynamic. It seems to be talking about a complicated relationship with someone older.

As by the lyrics "you said if we were closer in age, maybe it would have been fine"

So first thing I did is look back as to when it was written.

Here's a piece of interview I found:

Thanks to this post: (X)

We know that she wrote it during her reheasal in 2011.

Because here's when David Cook started working with her:

And here's the date of his first show in the Phillipines:

February 2011....

Then, I did a little digging on what was going on with Emily at the time:

And oh does it get interesting!!

Here's an Emily's interview I found (X)

And here's what she was doign in February 2011!!! (I'm excited of the evidence I've found, does it show lol) :

"Two thousand eleven was a big year for me. I became engaged in February, graduated law school in May, took the bar in July, and Eli and I were married in November.”

What did Taylor said?: "I was feeling terrible about what was going on in my personal life"

What if she just learned about Emily's engagement???

And to make it even more interesting. Here's a journal entry with the first lyrics of All Too Well:

Confirming that it was written in 2011.

This is inchteresting.

But it gets better!

Because, before last year, Emily's Pinterest was public. And on her wedding board, she did save a picture with a red scarf....

It's not Emily, it's just a picture that she had saved in her Pinterest. Thanks to Kate for giving me this!

But what if the red scarf was really just to tie the song to Jake???

Here's another interesting thing I've found in the Taymily timeline:

This letter is from the video she made to Emily when she left, with everyone having "I love you Emily" signs.

It says:

“Emily– I feel as if our relationship has been taken to the next level over the past few months and with much contemplation I decided I would bestow upon you one of my most prized possession: my flamingo bandana. This is a 3rd generation family heirloom and i suggest you frame it. I think it will look perfect in your apartment with the cat pillows. Enjoy”

Inchteresting....is the red scarf a bandana??

Also. We know that All Too Well was really significant for Taylor and that for a long time, she was not able to sing it without crying...

So it's about a relationship that had a big impact on her life.

Very recently. Like in June, Taylor performed the song Breathe as a surprise song and very clearly cried during that performance.

The next day, we learned that the day before the show, Emily did this post on Facebook:

Breathe was heavily rumored to be about Emily back when Fearless came out. But Colbie confirmed it with Fealess Taylor's Version in an interview when she said that it was about something that was going on with one of Taylor's band membre.

So yeah... this would make way more sense being about Emily and having Taylor be emotional singing it for a long time.

Than the song being about a relationship that lasted 3 months.

Of course I can't know for sure for all her relationships...

But most of them I believe was PR. Like the one she had with Jake.

Thanks for the question! It was really interesting doing all those research!

ADDITION!! : It just hit me but! The line "And you call me up again just to break me like a promise"

Fits perfectly with Emily calling her to tell her about the engagement! omg...

SECOND ADDITION: This morning when I woke up, I thought about two things that points to Emily!

1. Taylor turned 21 in 2010, 2 months before writing All Too Well.

"And you call me later and say sorry I didn't make it and I say I'm sorry too" from The Moment I Knew

to two months later:

"And you called me up again just to break me like a promise"

2. The night Taylor sang Breathe and looked devastated after Emily's Facebook post. She also sang All Too Well looking REALLY MAD.

People have all noted it.

Look: (X)

This solidifies even more that All Too Well is about Emily for me...

[wolfawaycamp]

Rylan +

"You make me so happy it turns back to sad, there's nothing I hate more than what I can't have, you are so gorgeous it makes me so mad"

🐼 So I'd originally intended for this to be cute but instead it's angsty. Oops tee hee

Dylan is happy. No, really. It turns out being down a hand not only doesn’t affect your ability to kick ass at quantum physics, but it also makes you the most interesting man in the room at nearly every social gathering. Scholarship programs also love a good sob story, so he’s pretty much got a full ride through his master’s degree if he decides to stick with it.

As far as the others, Laura and Max had secretly gotten married and are now planning on opening a refuge for exotic animals.

Abi and Emma had started dating immediately after the charges were cleared, to everyone’s surprise, and now they’re living together in California while Abi finishes her art degree and Emma’s influencer career flourishes.

Nick is back in Australia working at some catering company with his high school sweetheart, whom he’d reconnected with after months of isolation from pretty much everyone.

Jacob and Kaitlyn are living together, not quite dating, but definitely showing signs of something happening. They’ll never admit it, but Dylan knows Kaitlyn’s secretly-has-feelings-for-someone face, and she wears it often when Jacob is around.

And Ryan…well, he’s doing pretty well, too. In fact, judging by his latest social media update, which happens about three times a year, he’s gearing up to move in with his boyfriend, Felix, whom he’s been with for six months. The post is a picture of Ryan sitting on his couch surrounded by cardboard boxes, having a very serious staring contest with Poe, a stray tuxedo cat the couple had found hanging around Ryan’s college dorm one night. Dylan smiles at the cat’s familiar face, as he’s seen it often in the pictures Ryan sends him. He and Ryan have semi-regularly been texting ever since Ryan had scribbled his number on a piece of scrap paper for Dylan two years ago. After their last night at Hackett’s Quarry.

Dylan remembers well their first conversation from right after they’d been released.

-

“That was a crazy first date, huh?” Dylan was doing what Dylan did best, which was flirting inappropriately with his crush to distract both of them from their trauma. Or whatever it was his therapist had told him.

Ryan snorted. “Ha, yeah. I guess you could say that.”

“This is yours, by the way.” He handed Dylan a crumpled, folded up piece of paper.

“Don’t tell me…your number?” Dylan couldn’t help himself.

“Ding ding ding,” Ryan deadpanned.

Dylan’s face grew hot. “Oh. Thanks, man. I’ll keep in touch.”

“You better. I went through a lot of trouble to get that for you.” Ryan’s grin was the most gorgeous thing Dylan had seen in these past months — maybe ever.

-

They had kept in touch, and things looked hopeful for a while — but when the group had their first get-together around New Year’s, something had changed. Dylan couldn’t look at Ryan, much less talk to him at first. He didn’t know if it was nerves, or guilt about making Ryan cut off his hand, or the feeling that he was coming on too strong; whatever it was, he had gotten way too drunk that night and spent most of it stuck in Emma’s bathroom and subsequently sleeping it off in her guest room while the rest of the group had their fun.

He’d woken up the next morning to Emma informing him that Ryan had offered to drive him home — and he’d declined, stating that he already had a boyfriend. Stupid Drunk Dylan. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Not too long after that, Ryan had finally been convinced — mostly by his sister — to accept a generous offer to attend a prestigious animation school in Denver. Then he moved on campus, and he met Felix, and now they’re cohabiting happily with a cat and everything.

Dylan is happy for them.

Before he can comment on Ryan’s post, the image is covered by a text notification. It’s that cute boy from the library asking if Dylan can meet for coffee on the weekend.

He accepts.

Staring back at the picture of Ryan, Dylan’s smile fades. He momentarily entertains countless scenarios where he’d said something, or not said something, or just fucking kissed the guy. Then, he pushes those thoughts away.

Ryan is happy, so Dylan is too.

[nerdieforpedro]

Dinner with Plans for the Leftovers

Chapter 4 of "This is the Neighborhood Din"

Din Djarin (modern AU) x Sierra Harris (plus size ofc)

Word Count: about 2.5k

Warnings: Grogu is adorable,

Summary: Little G (Grogu is the cutest and also tells everyone's business. The four (Din, Sierra, Johnnie Mae and Grogu) all have dinner. Many things are discussed.

Notes: I'm making dividers and such now. 😆 I figured it out after four months. Johnnie Mae has likely been a menace her entire adult life.

Main Masterlist/ Din - The Mandalorian Masterlist/ This is the Neighborhood Din Series

The day passes by quickly. On Din’s side of things, he’s finished the day with his work crew. Poe brought Finn back late of course, but he normally did. Poe stayed for  a good bit of fun and laughs then after he left they were able to focus. Rey didn’t ask anymore about Sierra thankfully and they continued testing the alloy at different temperatures recording the data. Once they finished up notes, Din left to head home, Ms. Harris picked up Grogu after school, so he stopped by to check in. She hugged Din and then Grogu ran up to see his father. He was an hour early for dinner - it was supposed to be at six.

“Daddy! Did you have a good day at work? We’re reading this book by Oobi Wa Kenunbi. I think he might be like the man across the street. He visited Ms. Harris and was leaving when the bus dropped me off. He had something red in his hand.” Grogu informed his father as Din hugged him tight and thought about what his son was saying.

“Wait…man across the street? Who is that?” The only man across from Ms. Harris he knew of was that man with the crazy looking beard and that chartreuse looking liquid he drinks. Din knows it’s alcohol. His yard is a mess and so is that trailer. Maybe she was giving him a meal like she’d done with Din.

“His name is Mr. Skywalker. Isn’t that a funny name, Dad? Who walks on the sky? He sounds like he swallowed pebbles but is nice. He gave me this.” Grogu pulled out a small white plane, it looked like it had been painted over a few times and fixed in a few places. Din wondered why Luke would give his son something, especially something that appeared to have been used quite a bit.

“Did you tell him thank you Grogu?” Din asked, patting his son’s head before touching their foreheads together. He stood and picked Grogu up as he nodded and wrapped his arms around Din’s neck. “Ms. Harris is this-” Johnnie Mae threw up a hand and then waved Din into the house.

“We can talk about all that when you come into this house. You’re letting all my good air out Djarin.” She made a stern face, but immediately broke out into a wide grin as the clan of two made their way inside of the house. Removing their shoes, they plopped down on the couch and Grogu set about playing with his toy. Din caught the aroma of meat cooking, smelled like beef, though, not quite familiar with the seasonings used. Johnnie Mae didn’t say anything as she saw him sniffing and snickered. “Smells good I take it? Someone might be still working on dinner.”

Grogu made plane noises as he flew it around the living room in his small hands. He spied Sierra in the kitchen as Ms. Harris and Din started chatting about different meats and seasonings. “Ms. Sierra, can I have two cups of water? I want one and I need one for my daddy.” Sierra was icing the cake she baked earlier and hadn’t started on the vegetables or rice yet. She was sure she told him the right time. But Grogu wouldn’t joke about his father being here. Why is he an hour early?

“Sure Little G. Are you sure you can carry both while holding your plane? Maybe you should land it somewhere first.” Sierra suggested, smoothing out the last of the icing out on her chocolate cake. She was going to do double chocolate, but at the last minute, decided on cream cheese icing. She poured one big glass for Din and one smaller glass for Grogu. She carefully handed him one at a time. He looked up at her with a smile, thanked her and took small, measured steps toward his father and Johnnie Mae. With her eyes following him, she saw the back of Din’s head. A messy tuff brown curls followed by a loud laugh at whatever her aunt has just said. “This sounded like a good idea this morning…I’m not ready and I haven’t even changed. At least I took a shower when I got home.” She was muttering to herself as she moved the cake to a side counter out of the way and covered it so it wouldn’t dry out. In Sierra’s plan, she was going to change into a casual button-down dark olive t-shirt dress that she could dress up with a necklace or earrings. Right now, she still had on her white t-shirt with the yellow triforce logo with bright yellow bike shorts that she’d thrown on when she got home to clean, plan and run to the store. 

Three hours ago, when Sierra got home:

“You know it’s just dinner, right? The man’s seen you in your shorts and t-shirt and you had a whole lotta leg showing. Whatever you wear is fine.” Johnnie Mae watched as Sierra was looking through her closet at different outfits, it was either too church lady, too casual, too business or that one outfit she wore to the club one time too many years ago - everything hung out of that one.

To which Sierra responded, “Just let me make an outfit and dress properly. I just want to feel prepared when I see him tonight. It should be a do over from the other evening.”

“Honey, from what I heard, he seemed fine with everything.” Shrugging her shoulders, Johnnie Mae leaned on the frame of the doorway and Sierra stopped moving.

“Wait, I thought you were asleep with Grogu on the couch? How much did you hear?” Her eyes were wide, her stomach was already in knots, now it felt like it was squeezing.

“I woke up when he was holding you. I told you to stay put while Din brought your stuff in. You don’t remember that?”

“I…No. Just him being kind and you too Auntie. Some of that day was a blur, like my drive over here, except the CVS and the McDonalds.”

“That’s why I keep telling you not to worry. Din’s privy to what you’d have to work up the courage to tell any other guy down the road in a relationship. So, it’s only up from here? Now the important question is, do you want me to take Grogu over to Din’s house?�� Johnnie Mae made two finger guns and shimmied her shoulders and hips making Sierra roll her eyes and laugh. She danced her way over to her niece and poked her cheeks with one finger each. “Better yet, eat dinner here, then ‘help’ Din take the leftovers over to his house. Tell me what you see in there. It’s supposed to be a mirror of this house, but I know a decade ago, when the Fetts moved out, they’d done a lot of remodeling. I wanna know if it’s any good. Boba never let me in his house, even with my good wig.” 

Sierra doubled over with laughter. “That’s not why Boba didn’t let you in his house. You can’t just invite yourself over and not be wearing anything under your coat. You’re lucky he didn’t call the police!”

“Oh hush! So how does my plan sound? You used that poor man for comfort and then left him out to dry.” Hands on her hips, her aunt clicked her tongue which made her niece sigh.

“It sounds so bad when you say it, but you’re not wrong. Everything just sounds illicit when you say it Auntie. The plan is good, and I wanted to talk to him alone so this works.” Shooting up an eyebrow, Johnnie Mae leaned closer. Sierra shook her head. “Not that. Geez…”

“When are you going to the store? You’re going to need all your ingredients.” Having a feeling she knew why she was asking; Sierra massaged her temple.

“You know he’s going to need to be gone before Grogu needs to get picked up from the bus stop right?” Johnnie Mae smirked.

“That’s no problem. He can be forceful when he needs to be.” Sierra sighed again as she settled on her dress for tonight. The less she knew about her aunt and the man across the street the better. He was actually nicer than he let on, he just liked messing with Greef. It had been a few years since she had last seen Luke and he looked about the same. His beard was a bit longer and she hadn’t seen him outside in the yard yet swing his lightsaber (keeping up his exercises from the Jedi/Sith War according to him). That’s an image she never needed to recall. 

“A simple yes would have been fine, Aunt Mae. Thanks.” 

Twenty minutes to dinner:

When Grogu brought over the two glasses of water, he thanked his son, but wondered how he got them. He turned to look over the back of the couch and saw Sierra’s back. Her hair had come out of the bun that had been on top of her head. A few coils waved near her poppy scrunchie. She had on a white t-shirt and yellow shorts which he had to look up from when Grogu brought her the glasses back. She looked up and smiled at Din, he returned it, squeezing his right knee he didn’t realize he was holding. He was nervous, he knew he didn’t really need to be, but felt optimistic as well. Ms. Harris and he continued talking while he watched Sierra disappear into the back of the house and come back out in a dark green dress. She looked beautiful in it; her hair was fully out of her bun and more in a high ponytail. There were silver teardrop earrings that framed her face. She began on the rice and vegetables as it was going to be dinner soon. Din found that he was booped on the nose by his son disrupting his thoughts.

“Daddy, whatcha lookin’ at? Don’t you see my plane? You like planes, don’t you?” Grogu asked as he hopped up on his father’s knee, Din patted his don’t curly hair and chuckled.

“Yes, I do. I’ll have to thank Mr. Skywalker in person when I get a chance. Now you know the plane has to stay over here and can’t come to the table, right?” Din pinched Grogu’s nose, and the boy giggled, Johnnie Mae had hopped up and was helping Sierra with the rest of the food. Crap. I was going to help her with the rest of dinner so I could talk to her more.Making whooshing noises with his son, they played with the plane until dinner.

Dinner was mostly uneventful. It was mainly Grogu and Johnnie Mae talking about planes, colors and how good the food was. Little G brings up that he saw Mr. Skywalker leave with something red in his hand and asks if that made him a thief. He wondered if his plane was stolen too. Din coughed on his vegetables and Sierra snorted, she knew what the red was, and Din had a sneaking suspicion. Johnnie Mae only told Grogu that, “Some things stay between adults Little G, but don’t you worry. Your plane isn’t stolen and whatever red you saw was freely given by Ms. Harris. That’s all you and anyone else needs to know.” Sierra tried to stifle her laughter but still held a smile on her face as she looked over at Din who had a grin on his face too. 

Maybe Luke Skywalker has some large retirement savings she’s into. That might be where all his money is, it’s not going into his house. Din chuckled to himself remembering what Johnnie Mae had told him when he first came to her home, though given what Grogu said, it clearly wasn’t just that.

Grogu also said that being a good guest means helping to clean up. After dinner, Johnnie Mae ‘volunteered’ herself and Little G to clean up this kitchen. The adorable child tells Ms. Harris that he wants to be helpful like his dad is. 

“I swear, he just wants to stay up late and play more with that plane he got.” Din laughed as he handed Ms. Harris the plates, followed by Sierra was gathering the silverware and some of the glasses. Johnnie Mae set to making some take home containers for Din and his son. The food hadn't quite cooled which Sierra pointed out.

“Don’t you dare chicken out now. You said you were going to talk to him. Don’t tell me you put that dress on for no reason girl. Help him over there with this food and stop playin’.” Pinched on her hip by her aunt, Sierra suggested to Din that she could help him take the food over to his house. He appeared confused for a moment until she tilted her head at his son and understood that he would be staying here helping Ms. Harris to clean up. Ah, so we can talk. I get it. Din nodded and opened the door for Sierra as they stepped outside into the cooling evening air.

“Um, Din? I didn’t explicitly ask but is it okay to go to your house to talk? It’s a little nippy out here.” Sierra looked up from the Tupperware at Din who was holding in a laugh. “What?” Her look of confusion had him cough to cover up the snicker. 

“We're definitely going over to my house. That seems to be part of your plan and it’s too damn cold out here for what I assume you want to discuss?” Sierra closed her eyes. God it was that transparent!? Why do I listen to my aunt on these things? She’s kickin’ it with Luke, the same guy who waves his lightsaber around and screams about the Sith Lords coming back. She exhaled and opened her eyes.

Din gathered his Tupperware he held under his one arm and offered his hand to Sierra after he went down a few of the steps.  Looking up at her, the yellow light of the house behind her made it appear like there was a shimmering aura around her. I told myself it’s horrible timing for the both of us, but I can’t help but wonder���no I can prevent myself from wondering. Sierra’s not coming over to talk about any of that. Manners, just like you taught your son Djarin. 

“Yes, my very present and clear plan it seems.” Shaking her head, she took Din’s hand and walked over to his home with him. Eager to sit down with Din, Sierra found that her anxiety didn’t plague her. Din clasped his fingers around her hand, he found it small, soft, and warm. He only let it go, to unlock the front door and welcome her into her home. Instead of recapturing it, Djarin decided to place his palm on the small of her back, guiding her inside to which Sierra met his gaze and smiled. 

There was a spark between them, both wordlessly acknowledging it.

Chapter Three. Chapter Five

Peeps who want to hear the tea from Little G 🍵: @readingiskeepingmegoing @604to647 @syd-djarin @yorksgirl @harriedandharassed @survivingandenduring @drawingdroid @katw474 @trulybetty @bitchwitch1981 @soft-girl-musings @tinytinymenace @djarinmuse @littlemisspascal @pedroshotwifey @megamindsecretlair

[lynxskip]

Rating Shows/Movies That I've Watched in the Past Months

----

Hazbin Hotel

4/5 stars

-1 star for the amount of sexual shit

I'm not one of the weird ones I SWEAR

I gen like this (I'm also very easily entertained)

Fav Characters: Alastor (not a weird fan), Vaggie, Emily, Sir Pentious

---

Danganronpa 3 - Despair Arc

5/5 stars

Chiaki needs to make motivational posters

Nagito 😍

Chisa's the best teacher

Fav Characters: Nagito, Chiaki, Juzo, Chisa, Ryota

---

Danganronpa 3 - Future Arc

5/5 stars

THE DOOMED YAOI ☹️

Naegiri best straight ship fr

I love Aoi

Makoto's brainwashing scene is like fr traumatizing

Fav Characters: Chisa, Juzo, Great Guzo, Ryota, Makoto, Aoi, Kyoko, Koichi

---

Ghost Stories

5/5 stars

English dub makes it 10000x better

---

The Promised Neverland

5/5 stars

I REALLY loved this, that one episode in Season 2 actually surprised me.

Fav Characters: Ray, Thoma, Lannion, Phil

---

Death Note

5/5 stars

If only everyone listened to L

Me, my bsf, and cousin (prob) are gonna watch the americanized version and from what I read on the wiki, it sounds like SHIT

Making my mom watch this and she LIKES IT (she's only watched the american version), she also hates Light (common mom W)

Fav Characters: L, Near, Ryuk, Matsuda

---

Yes, No, or Maybe

4/5 stars

the like second to last scene burned my eyes..

it's decent

---

Sasaki and Miyano

5/5 stars

I LOVE Sasaki's VA

I've watched this twice now.

---

Danganronpa: The Animation

3/5 stars

the game is better and I don't like how Makoto looks

I've also seen THH too many times, prob why it's so low

Favorite Character(s): Mondo, Kyoko, Byakuya, Aoi

---

The Stranger by the Shore

5/5 stars

watched this while my family was having a serious convo

watched this with my bsf and cousin, they kept making jokes abt how Shun was a pedo :( (i WILL NOT take the slander istfg)

---

The Goldfinch

5/5 stars

idk what to put here

---

Alive Sheet (Americanized Death Note)

1/5 stars

me, my cousin, and bsf watched this and OH MY GOD did we have a fun time shitting on it, IT WAS SO SO SOOOO BAD

+1 star for L's actor

only redeeming quality

my bsf renamed Light Turner to White Turner and now I use that whenever I talk abt the movie to my mom

---

Bungou Stray Dogs - DEAD APPLE

5/5 stars

loved this!!

---

Trap

5/5 stars

THIS WAS SO GOOD!!

i didn't expect it to end the way it did

---

Bungou Stray Dogs

5/5 stars

THIS WAS SO SOS OS OS SOO GOOD

new special interest

i finished it like last week or smt and i'm already rewatching it help

i've also watched like 3 episodes at least 4 times

Favorite Character(s): Akutagawa, Chuuya, Dazai, Atsushi, Ranpo, Poe, Nikolai

---

Yuri!!! on ICE

5/5 stars

gay ppl!!

kinda mad they didn't kiss but alr

inspired me to go ice skating so i'm going this week

[yanderepuck]

Lil headcanons with @lulu-the-smol-floof

Galileo thinks Robert and Isaac are gay

Why?

He saw them kiss.

Why did they kiss?

Because Will kissed Robert and he got confused.

Why did he kiss Robert?

SO GLAD YOU ASKED

So Will just wanted himself a lil goth boyfriend (Poe) only rather than just ASKING Poe out on a little date he decided to have some fun with it to see how jealous he could get him.

So Will just starts randomly kissing the residents.

Gives Poe a lil smooch. Gives Leonardo a lil smooch. Vincent. Arthur. Dazai. Even Theo.

Theo isnt happy about this.

Now Poe is just VERY confused. Because Will seems to be smooching people as a greeting. So he's not sure what is going on.

Is he gay or is he just a fruity renaissance man like the 4 Italians here (who in fact are gay and it's not just bc they are Italian)

Main question here: are they gay or are they just Italian

HOWEVER. Will kisses Robert. Robert is very confused. Thinks he felt a little something, but he could just be deprived.

So one day Robert is in Isaac's class and he's like "umm...can I kiss you?" And Isaac is SOOOO confused. But what's the harm in it?

So they kiss. You can basically say they made out. And it's a whole anime scene. There's a breeze, cheery blossom leaves fly across the screen, there's perfect lighting. Everything. But no fireworks. They stop kissing and go "nope. Nothing" and go back to work like that didn't just happen

Only mid kiss Galileo walks into the classroom to ask Isaac something. Sees them kissing, freezes, and finally walks out.

GALILEO THINKS THEY ARE GAY FOR A WHOLE ASS YEAR. Robert and Isaac completely forget about what happened. And Galileo thinks they are boyfriends and keeps their secret safe, but is just very confused because the two of them always ask Galileo to join them on their breaks.

Finally one day when they are at a cafe eating lunch Robert says something about maybe wanting to date a woman. And Isaac is like "I couldn't be bothered with dating"

And Galileo is listening, and even more confused because he thought they were together.

"Dating a woman?"

"Yeah. It's been a while and I think I'm comfortable enough to try dating again"

"..I thought" and he looks between Robert and Isaac. Isaac isnt looking up from a paper he is reading. And Robert is looking at Galileo confused.

"I thought you two were like..."

"whAT"

And that's how Wills lil prank ended up lasting a whole year without meaning too.

Also 2 months into the prank him and Poe went on a date and are together. Everyone but Galileo has forgotten all of this

[shipcestuous]

The Fall of the House of Usher

Anon #1: I first read Poe's 'The Fall of the House of Usher' 15 years ago as a teen and I have been in love with it ever since. When I saw the promo stills and read the synopsis last month for the show that just came out, I was a bit weirded out by the modernized vibe in the stills, but seeing it called an 'anthology' and that it would explore multiple stories by Poe, I thought that we might just get the actually story of the House of Usher in one or two eps, just a bit quirky and... well, modernized. So I was still excited. It took me 5 min in the tag last week to realize they had completely screwed up the story. I didn't even doubt my assessment to go 'oh look, I was right after all' now that I've read on this blog that people who watched it were hugely disappointed.

I am still baffled that they could mess this up. It's literally one short story involving a mansion, the owner, his dead sister, the first-person POV guest, and the irrefutable incest in the owner and his not-so-dead-after-all sister's family tree. I'm sure someone served the owner and the guest dinner. I don't even remember their existence for them to be an important presence in the story. Seriously how can you screw this up?

Anon #2: When it comes to House of Usher, I’ve only seen the Vincent Price one. They don’t have the incest be canon (made in 60s and all), but it did seem to be implied. Also, wow, I didn’t realize how many adaptations there were of that story!

@leopard-skin-pillbox-hat-ok: I was watching House of Usher thinking about the future ship (Madeleine x Roderick) that I would be obsessive about it… imagine my surprise when there’s absolutely nothing there! 💀

@winterborn-muse: Netflix's "Fall of the House of Usher" may not be canon but in my opinion it's definitely shippable. Especially in their younger years/flashback scenes. One in particular... phew.

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Previous discussion here.

I finished watching The Fall of the House Usher so I can finally answer these asks.

It's crazy how different it is from the original story. I almost wonder if Flanagan came up with the story and then added in the Poe elements later, maybe even after it was already written. I think it's only called "The Fall of the House of Usher" because that's such an awesome title and everyone knows it. And also because Hollywood is scared no one will watch something original. There was obviously no attempt made to adapt the story itself (or the other Poe stories), except superficially.

I didn't mean that to sound too negative, because although I am disappointed this wasn't what it might have been, I thought it was fairly entertaining and well written. It just wasn't what I was hoping for, and what I made the mistake of expecting. The premise of solid, I just wish it hadn't masqueraded as something else. Also, the "House of Usher" title just doesn't have the same power or vibe when Roderick and Madeline are really the first generation, and then there's Roderick's kids and 1 grandchild and that's all.

The Vincent Price version being coy about the incest is understandable. Why Mike Flanagan didn't take the opportunity to include incest here is baffling. I can only think that he didn't want anyone to accuse him of copying Game of Thrones. But even leaving the original story aside, in which incest was implied, look at the potential here: rich, decadent family with lots of siblings? Sibling matriarch and patriarch bonded by a traumatic childhood and murder?

Roderick and Madeline are definitely not canon at all in this version (if it can be called that?), but I completely agree that they were shippable. They were very close, life partners really, and seemed to love each other more than they loved anyone else.

I love the gift of the jewels that Roderick got for Madeline because it was so thoughtful and showed how well he knew her, on top of how expensive and difficult it was to get. He basically called her a goddess.

But the flashbacks were agreeably the best stuff. Obviously when Roderick and Madeline were sharing a bed:

Not that that's the craziest thing in the world after what they had just been through.

Then you've got Madeline not liking Roderick's wife, and Roderick's wife not liking Madeline.

I think they were also called "king and queen" once and Roderick is referred to as Gatsby and Madeline as Daisy.

Plus just the whole deal, the way Carla Gugino's character makes a deal with them together, and treats them as a single unit, and says they'll die together just like they came into the world together.

So at least there was some very shippy stuff.

But man oh man, the wasted opportunities here. smh

[galacticwildfire]

Fire Meet Gasoline | Poe Dameron

Three

Poe Dameron x Solo Original Character

Hope Solo’s haunted by the night the temple burned. Having gone rogue she hunts the First Order in search of answers until a fateful encounter with Poe Dameron brings her back to the Resistance and Leia puts her daughter under his command to find Luke Skywalker.

Word count: 10k

Tags/warnings: simp poe, exhausted leia, (those may as well be permanent tags), the meet cute, Poe giving oc an existential crisis with his jawline alone, flirting, attempted x-wing race, ego's, rizzpoe, resistance command having a panic attack, mentions of war crimes/systematic kidnapping and indoctrination of children, trauma, first half is sexual tension second half is angst. Leia trying her best to be a good parent to a traumatised child. They will make up I promise.

All my stories are written for adults with adult themes, I use appropriate tags but read at your discretion.

A/N: I have three chapters of the prequel published on ao3/wattpad. the story kicks off properly in this chapter.

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Hope

By late afternoon the hanger's quiet enough that I can work on my x-wing in peace, which thankfully hasn't been repurposed. Although Mom knows if she ever gave my x-wing to anyone I'd probably blow it up out of spite, and she knows this because I'd threatened as much.

Major Brance ducks in and out of the entrance several times in the hours that pass as I run maintenance, as if ensuring he isn't hallucinating and looking disappointed each time he realises he isn't, speaking with greater levels of panic into his comm each time.

"We had six months of peace after she left and then Dameron was recruited. Now there's two of them," I hear him ranting as he exits the hanger again, thinking I'm out of earshot. "Two of them!"

I can't help but smile to myself a little in intrigue, finding myself growing increasingly curious about this commander who seems to give Brance the same headache as I do. That might just be enough for me to overlook his rank. Almost.

His ship sits on the other side of the hanger, the orange and black paint noticeably standing out from the rest, and I'm chuckling to myself in satisfaction at noticing the paint's been touched up since I called it beaten up. Although now mine is the one that needs a touch up by comparison.

The next time Brance comes in Statura accompanies him and gives me an awkward wave from across the hanger before pulling Brance back out, thankfully that's the last time I see them. 

"Gee R2, you'd think they weren't happy to see me," I remark as I get to work installing the new parts after finishing general maintenance and he beeps at me. "Alright maybe I'm enjoying it a little."

At least my infamy's still feared by high command, even if that doesn't extend to a commander who should very well know exactly who I am. All things considered I should be more concerned by the thought that Mom could arrive here at any moment, but I can put off that anxiety for a little longer. 

My hands are stained with soot and engine oil, but my mind seems to quieten as I tinker. Something I always thought came from my father, until my grandmother's surviving handmaidens told me it also came from my grandfather, among other things. Thankfully with the years I've found some level of acceptance with that fact, even if the memories sharpened with Ben taking the mantle Vader left behind. At least Lando can share my humour at calling him Grandpa Vader even if Mom looked like she wanted to hit me over the head the first time she heard it. And every time afterwards. Turns out dark humour only goes so far.

My mind's focused on the adjustments to the thrusters, transferring over the parts I'd taken off my N-1 at the lakehouse so the modifications are similar, making it far faster than ties and any other navy starfighter. Faster than any other x-wings on base as well. I was tempted to get R2 to pilot the N-1 here for me but considering what I've been using it for I thought it best it stays in storage on Naboo. I'd forgotten how old these x-wings are in comparison to the newer models of ships, my N-1 was average in comparison to the models I grew up flying, but still newer than these. So while some of these parts might be a little overpowered for my neglected x-wing I can make them work, it'll make it highly illegal, but fast. 

Just how I was taught.

At least I don't have to pay to replace the proton torpedo I'd used up now, it might have been a bit overkill considering they're generally used to attack larger capital ships or freighters but I'd always wondered what would happen if I shot them into a bunch of tie-fighters and now I know.

I'm quite content working while talking to R2 until a now slightly familiar voice calls out to me in the empty hanger.

"Need any help up there?"

"No," I answer automatically, too caught up in what I'm doing to take any real notice. R2 chides me for being rude like he isn't worse and I realise Threepio's yet to talk my ear off which means he must be with Mom, wherever she is. "But since you're offering toss me up a wrench will you?"

He chucks it up and I catch it before tightening the last bolt and only then do I recognise the voice. Suppressing a smile I look down and see him standing back, trying to figure out what I'm doing. "Problem? Because I can tell you those parts have too much kick for a T-70."

"That's the point," I reply, swinging my legs over the edge of my ship so I can take him in and find that he immediately recognises me from the stunned look that crosses his face, the look in his eye leaving me pleasantly surprised after all the wary stares of the afternoon. Although I'm more surprised by the immediate effect his face has on me now that I can see it properly. I don't expect to like it as much as I do, pegging him as the type that's ridiculously handsome and knows it, although it's certainly not without reason. "Once I'm done my baby's going to have more engine power than any of the newer models, might need some reinforcements but I'll make it work."

He shakes his head, grinning up at me with white teeth that stand out against the shadow of a beard on his certainly well-chiselled face that reminds me of the statues that adorn Naboo's art museums, but it's his dark eyes that take my attention as he studies the engine and my other modifications, recognising them with equal surprise and respect. "You know those mods are illegal right? The type you can only find in blackmarkets in the Outer Rims."

"I should know since that's where I found them, but considering this is faster than any of the New Republic's ships, and yours, I don't have to worry about that do I?" I smirk a little too proudly and find myself saying. "I see you gave the General my regards."

He looks at my ship and then to his with the slightest jealousy after mine had outrun his in the field and I just smirk to myself from my ship. 

"I did," he says, something about the look in his eye drawing me in. He still doesn't realise I'm her daughter, that much is clear, and so I play coy. "I told you I could put you in touch didn't I? But just a warning, we might be a paramilitary but she doesn't like us breaking too many New Republic regulations."

Oh, he has no idea and I can't help but tease "If you're going to report me for breaking regulations don't bother because she's already given up on me."

"I take it the two of you have some history then?" he gathers and despite the curiosity in his eyes he still doesn't put it together, which means Mom has definitely lied to the Resistance about where I've been for a commander to have no idea who I could be, but I shouldn't expect anything else by now. 

"Let's just say I've done some work for the Resistance, had some disagreements and ended up where you found me," I explain simply, revealing just enough. When I'm used to everyone knowing my name it's almost nice to be a mystery. "So illegal modifications will be the least of her worries."

He makes a surprised sound, running a hand through the almost black curls atop his head. "The General must like you then to let you get away with this type of stuff." He looks me over with slightly nervous eyes before putting on a charming smile. "You must have been stationed on the Raddus because I know I would've definitely remembered meeting you before."

A self-satisfied smile comes to my face at his attempt at flirting and find myself amused, but more surprised by the fact that I don't actually mind it. "I've been on this base far longer than you have commander, you're the one who's new here."

"General recruited me a few months back from the Republic Fleet," he says and my eyes narrow now, wondering how the hell a new recruit could possibly be made a commander when I never was after years of service. But I swear behind his self-confidence there's a sincerity to his words as he says "You know, if you were new to base I was going to offer to show you around."

"Really?" I say, leaning forward from the edge of my ship in intrigue, giving him my full attention as I look him up and down. Somehow only finding more things to like much to my own surprise considering I've never been the type to be partial to a flyboy, or much to men in general.

"What can I say?" he shrugs but the look in his eyes is a little less carefree than what he's trying to portray as he returns the gesture, tongue running over the seam of his lips as he takes me in. Leaving his intentions maybe a little less innocent than his sincerity. "You're a hell of a pilot, one of the best I've ever seen. You left an impression to say the least."

I can't help but feel warmth come to my face at the look in his eyes that I've never quite seen in anyone else's and turn my head, not knowing whether to be frustrated he's actually having an effect on me or flattered I have a commander standing here flirting with me, but I do like the attention. As for flattery well... that's something I've always received little of.

So maybe I'm being a little bit of an asshole, but I genuinely don't know how to do anything but rebuff him considering it's second nature by now. "What was your name again?"

I remember it, but I want to see how he reacts to his ego being bruised. Somehow he's not put off and just challenges "You know now I think of it you still haven't given me yours."

Wanting to get a little closer I hop down from my ship to find that he has half a foot on me, maybe a little more although it's not exactly hard when I inherited my mother's height. His face is closer now and somehow even more striking up close much to my frustration, a problem I've never had before or at least not to this degree. The sudden proximity leaves me a little more bashful than I'd anticipated but I may as well enjoy the moment considering it'll be over once he learns my name, for a multitude of reasons.

"You can call me Captain," I state. I might have had that title stripped away with every other privilege I had when I was grounded but if she wants me back she's going to have to make compromises.

"Captain?" he repeats back in surprise but respects it. "Alright Captain..." he trails off for a moment, considering his options but inevitably deciding to go with one of the riskier ones. "How long have you been away from base for?"

"Almost a year," I answer, curious to see if that leads him down any trail of thought but he doesn't seem to be using his head to think, although unfortunately for me that face makes up for it. He's older, late twenties,  a man who clearly takes pride in his appearance judging by his hair. Again, he has good reason too and even more unfortunately I'm too susceptible to that damn face. 

"Then let me give you a tour of the new and improved facilities," he begins before changing tactics, his voice deepening slightly as he leans closer. "Or I could take you out to a spot just outside base with a clear view of a constellation I think you'd like, and maybe by the time we make our way back you'll like me enough to be on a first name basis." His eyes are kind, but there's a mischief behind them that draws me right in. "If that's alright with you?"

It takes me a moment to register what he's saying let alone asking, and when I do I'm convinced that surely I've misheard him or definitely misinterpreted his words. But his interest is something I definitely I haven't misread, intentions are another matter, but this... this was the last thing I'd prepared myself for when I returned to base. I've had passes made at me sure, but certainly never this.

It leaves me speechless for a moment longer than I'd like, but I manage to quickly regain myself and my dignity. I've been back here for five minutes and I'm blushing over some flyboy's pickup line, a flyboy who holds the rank I'd sought for longer than he's been a part of the Resistance. 

Oh no this, whatever it is I'm feeling, this won't do.

"Alright commander," I say, making sure whatever happens next is on my terms. "I'll consider it, but first how about you show me what you've got and finish what we started in the field."

"What I've got?" he repeats as I look at the x-wings. "Sweetheart you're speaking to one of the best pilots in the galaxy."

"Sweetheart?" I repeat and actually laugh knowing it didn't end well for the last guy that tried to call me that, and he momentarily panics before seeing the glint in my eye, only more determined to put him in his place before I can consider maybe, just maybe, taking him up on his offer. "Alright then flyboy, get that ass in an x-wing and prove it."

He's tempted, tongue running across the seam of his lips as he leans down and crosses his arms over his chest. "As much as I'd love to do that, I don't want to get put on probation in my first few months and neither should you."

I whistle, taking pleasure in taunting him. "I got the big ego part right but I didn't take you for a pussy."

Now I've got him. "Oh no, I'm not a pussy."

I look down at his astromech who beeps at him knowing it's a bad idea, just as R2 gives me a beep of warning to not get myself in trouble but I've already made up my mind and so I look back up at him with a raised eyebrow. "Really?"

His dark eyes are locked onto mine with determination and I find a spark in them that's the same as mine. "Really."

Knowing I must have some effect on him I tilt my chin up, smirking as I challenge "Prove it."

I must look like a hot mess after hours of maintenance with my braid falling out and the top of my white blouse unbuttoned and stained with oil, my body's covered in engine grease wiped off my palms and smells like it, but he seems to like that.

And I definitely like his face.

Maybe I was right in coming back to base after all.

"Alright," he agrees, physically closer than I've let anyone come to me in a long time. "But you'll lose."

"Fifty credits," I bet knowing I've certainly returned a lot richer from my exploits, even if most of it's gone into my ship and weapons, and he doubles it.

"Hundred."

"One fifty," I challenge to raise the stakes and see that same restless excitement in his eyes. Pilots, people who live on risks and rushes of adrenaline, they're a disaster waiting to happen when it comes to gambling. "You on?"

"How about this, I win and you let me show you around base," he says, the glint in his eye proving to me he might be more of a worthy opponent than I'd originally taken him for. "You win and you're the one who gets to show me around."

He knows he's got me there, and I'm shaking my head with a stupid smile on my face knowing it too. It's a win-win situation for him although I'm curious to see if it would be the same for me, silently cursing how something in his eyes makes me electric. He might be a flyboy but he's one smooth bastard and I've got to get him back. "Alright then hotshot, first one to circumnavigate the planet's atmosphere and land back here wins."

"Atmosphere?" he repeats, knowing atmospheric flying in one of the more dangerous thrills a pilot could partake in, but he only grins back at me with that spark in his eye. "You're on."

"Let's see what you've got then commander," I say, waiting for him to realise he's screwed with the work I've done on my ship but again, he's thinking with anything but his head, and I tease "Then we'll see about me showing you around."

I'm not the only one with a stupid smile on my face and his eyes follow me as I walk back to my ship. Maybe I'm guilty when it comes to liking the attention, I've had my fair share of it not that I've ever entertained it, but none have ever looked like him or had that spark in their eye. I go to pull the ladder over, considering using the force to leap up might give him a little bit of a shock, and hear him call out "Need a foot up?"

"Piss off," I laugh and he flashes a teasing grin at me that only feeds my own determination. "You know you're going to lose right?"

"Don't worry I'll go easy," he promises as if he's doing me a favour.

I raise an eyebrow, not afraid to pull a dirty card to throw him off his game. "Because I'm a girl?"

"Oh no, no, no," he quickly corrects with a nervous laugh, his momentary panic only confirming that he isn't that type of flyboy. There shouldn't be any of them on base considering who the General is but you never know, I mean she did marry one after all. But still, I find an awful amusement in how quickly he refutes it. "Women are just as capable in a cockpit I can promise you that, but as damn good as you are you haven't seen me in action yet."

"Because I'd taken care of all the action before your slow ass ship could get there," I reply and he's all the more ready to try to show me up and my ego meets his as I smirk. "Don't worry I'll go easy."

The droids beep at each other in question as to whether or not they should get involved as he takes on the challenge, jumping up into his x-wing and I climb into mine, only for another ship to suddenly appear in the atmosphere as our droids get into their respective astromech ports. I blink in confusion at the ship, only to sense her before I begin to register who the ship belongs to. "Shit."

He looks at me as to ask if I'm ready to take off and he flashes a confused look as I give him the fall back gesture and shrink back into the cockpit as the ship lands, seeing the same look of panic on his face when he realises who's caught us.

I'm wearing a guilty smile as Mom comes out of the ship, walking with purpose but stopping in her tracks the moment she senses me, whatever emotion fills her face is quickly replaced with exasperation as she looks up at me, and then to the commander, shaking her head at us both.

"Get out of those x-wings."

The commander panics as we both climb out of the x-wings and I come to stand in front of Mom for the first time in almost a year. She wears the familiar expression of frustration, but thankfully I still see the fondness amongst it. I open my mouth but find myself lost for words as I suddenly clam up. 

"General," Poe stammers beside me. "I was just-"

"I'm not blaming you, Commander," she sighs and turns her head towards me. "I know my daughter has a habit of causing trouble."

He does a double take, one I've seen often when the men on base have realised they've attempted to chat up the General's daughter. Although none have admittedly been as successful as him. "Daughter?"

Mom just gives a slight shake of her head as she sighs, as if she hadn't expected anything else. "Commander Dameron meet-"

"Hope Solo," I say shaking his limp hand, he's stunned as I meet his eye and for just a moment I see the faintest flicker of recognition amongst the pure mortification. "General's daughter."

"Unfortunately for my sanity," Mom remarks and shakes her head at me as Brance rushes into the hanger to meet her only to go unignored as she asks "Did you seriously try to drag my newest commander into an x-wing race?"

Brance looks between the commander and I at those words and suddenly seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown as he marches back out of the hanger as quickly as he came. Again, Mom looks as if she hadn't expected anything else.

"Maybe," I admit as Poe scratches his head, clearly more than a little blindsided. She looks at my x-wing, mechanically literate enough to realise the parts I've put in aren't cheap or legal and I try to smile and exploit the big eyes that seem to work on everyone else but her. "Miss me?"

She raises her eyebrows in warning and I quickly shut up.

"Commander, considering you've already become acquainted with my daughter you can be gracious enough to escort her to intelligence where she will hand over the information she has on the First Order outpost she destroyed before Snap could gather data on it," she says, barely reigning in her frustration with me but it's the disappointment in her voice that stings. "Then you'll meet me in my office, Hope."

"Yes General," we both say in unison and she shakes her head as walks past out of the hanger, leaving the commander and I standing there in shared awkwardness. While I feel guilty he's purely mortified, and I actually feel slightly bad now.

It's silent until he breaks it. "I'd say you were trying to set me up if she wasn't so happy to see you."

"Yeah," I say, his sarcasm being nothing but truthful. "Won't lie, I was hoping for a warmer welcome back but it could have been worse."

He looks at me now with his own eyebrows raised, standing there in a state of barely constrained panic. "It could have been worse? Worse for you you mean?"

I look at him in surprise. "A flyboy who actually cares what his commanding officers think of him, how rare."

"When my commanding officers are war heroes, yeah I care," he says defensively, incredulous that I don't share that sentiment. The tension between us is just as thick as it was moments ago but different now.

"Well commander, you'll come to learn your heroes are quite human," I assure him, knowing how every person on base reveres my mother, which is fair as she deserves every bit of it, but their reverence for Luke and my father is less justifiable. "Legends are often disappointing."

If I'm the last hope for my family then I'm only proof of that.

He looks at me now how they all do when I don't live up to the expectations they have of their heroes, little do they know their own heroes don't even live up to them.

But my own reputation? Well I can certainly live up to that.

He takes me in more carefully now, with equal caution and curiosity, but also with the slightest bit of wonder in his eye as he says "So, you're Hope Solo."

"That's me," I say, shrugging my shoulders despite knowing the weight my name carries. "Am I missing some grand reputation I'm meant to be living up to?"

From the way he stammers I know I am and it usually falls into two categories, a Jedi or a political scandal. My reputation as a pilot clearly isn't as prominent as I'd like it to be despite my stint as a racer.

"Well," he begins and I can tell he's not quite sure what to make of me. "I- you aren't what I expected."

I'm intrigued now as I take him in, sensing nerves beneath that cocky exterior. "And what did you expect?"

I don't miss the way his eyes skim over me and so I return the favour, somehow still quite liking what I see despite his fleeting defensiveness. "Well-" he coughs to try to cover himself. "Not you."

That's an answer I don't quite mind and I laugh under my breath. "Acceptable."

"So," he continues, keeping a respectable distance from me as we continue through the base, suddenly taking a very different approach towards me now he knows I'm the General's daughter. A fact that inevitably scares off anyone who looks at me how he did, although I can't quite say anyone has, not like that at least. "How did the General's daughter end up rogue in the Outer Rims?"

"That's quite the story," I say, realising what I did must have stayed classified outside of high command. "And not a pretty one."

"Alright," he says, he doesn't push but asks "So what did you do here before that?"

That's the question.

"Well I'm the General's daughter," I say, repeating what everyone else does with some embellishments. "Best damn pilot here, but considering I prefer blasters to negotiating they tend to keep me out of the loop."

He raises an eyebrow, a glint of almost childlike excitement in his eye as he asks "Not a lightsaber?"

And there's that one final legacy that Luke left me when he went into exile, that of the last Jedi. When the news of the temple's destruction broke they all looked to the supposed sole survivor for answers, but some looked at me as a suspect. The Jedi Killers grandaughter being the only survivor of a fire that killed all of the Jedi... that's one other legacy I've been left with.

But he only looks at me with an awestruck curiosity, not too dissimilar to how I'd look at Luke and the other students before I'd started my training, back when the Jedi were still mysterious to me. I can't quite remember anyone looking at me that way however, not until now. 

"Oh I've got my lightsaber but I've been frequently reminded that it isn't a good look for the Resistance to use it for combat," I explain as we walk through the hanger towards intelligence, not quite sure why I'm still speaking to him when I'm about to get torn to shreds by my own mother but he's listening and perhaps I don't mind the sound of his voice. "And then there's the fact we aren't meant to engage the enemy first."

"That's a big one," he says keeping his tone light, playful even, but I can feel a mutual frustration there. "Something tells me that's part of it?"

"I might have gotten a bit carried away once or twice," I admit, something tells me with an ego like his he has as well, but not to the severity I did. "But there's nothing like practice."

He meets me in the middle there. "As frustrating as it is not being able to engage the Resistance is better when it comes to action than the Navy, I can promise you that."

"Yes but be warned commander, a little too much action and you'll get yourself grounded," I say with a bitter edge to my voice. "I would know."

"Too much action or insubordination?" he asks in amusement and if his face wasn't enough to take a liking to him that's sealed it. 

"Well there's no point committing insubordination if there's no action," I remark and he laughs, something tells me he's no stranger to it either.

"I like the way you think but I'm glad I'm not your commander."

"I prefer to work alone so rest assured you won't have to deal with me," I say as we reach intelligence but something in his eyes tempts me against my better judgement, strikes a boldness in me I had never quite realised was there until now. "Unless you want to?"

But as expected he's suddenly hesitant. It's typically seen as disrespectful to even look at your superior's daughter that way and well no one wants to disrespect the general, but it's a little late for him to pretend like he wasn't quite interested just a few minutes ago.

He quickly becomes nervous, trying to laugh it off before not so subtly changing the subject. "So uh- I guess I will be then if you're going to be flying?"

"I will be," I state as he clams up, putting on his friendliest face and the gives me an awkward thumbs up of all things before guiding me inside the command centre. Usually I wouldn't care, usually I'd laugh when I'd watch them suddenly clam up, but it seems this one's left an impression, for better or for worse. 

Brance stands there as we enter the room and hesitates at the sight of us. "The General said you had some reconnaissance data about First Order patrols?" he swallows and I can't recall what I did to make him like this, but he's in charge of intelligence. He knows exactly what I've been doing. "Around Tatooine I presume?"

There's judgment in his voice upon mentioning Tatooine, but Brance's judgment's only a fraction of what I'm about to get from Mom. 

"Well, I don't exactly have it," I say looking at R2 but he's hardly been collecting any. "I saw an outpost and I blew it up, twenty four tie's in total including the ones this commander saw me take down, three squadrons, not much else to say." I turn to the commander now, since these patrols should be his area of jurisdiction, but mostly because I don't like to walk away without the last word. "But if you'd like a report on all the First Order outposts I've cleared in the outer rims you can come and find me."

Poe stops and blinks at me in slight alarm. "Cleared?"

"Cleared," I confirm and leave him to put together what I mean as I dismiss myself with a sly smile. "Commander." I nod my head to Brance who's turned pale. "Major."

Both their eyes follow me as I leave the room, forcing myself to keep a straight face as I willingly send myself to the interrogation chamber.

~

The encounter still plays on my mind as I wait to speak with Mom, it's almost a welcome distraction from what's waiting for me. But it's hard not to dwell when it's left a bitter taste in my mouth. 

I'd once joked to Lando that no one would be brave enough to take a chance on me with who my family is, little did I know then just how true it would be, and that was before the entire galaxy found out I'm the heir of Darth Vader himself. In the public's eyes Mom was never a Jedi, she as far as they know can't wield the force. They could throw every accusation of treason and conspiracy against her but that, the claims of being a danger to society because of our blood was reserved for me and Luke and Ben. 

Not to mention I've become the sister of a pretender. 

But he's not the one accused of being the Jedi Killer, how can he be when much like Anakin Skywalker the galaxy believes he died with the rest of the Jedi. Like Luke he left me to bear those accusations alone. To carry this name that's only gotten heavier with each passing day. 

But for a moment I liked being a mystery, and I liked it even more when he still looked at me with awe instead of apprehension after learning my name. Poe Dameron. I hate to say it but unlike the other flyboys that come through here I actually like this one.

Wait.

"Are you fucking serious," I whisper under my breath in irony into the empty space of Mom's office and remember where I've heard his name.

It was just days before everything went to hell. I'd travelled to Theron to be with Dad after I'd gotten myself expelled from university after a rather dramatic display that I'm still quite proud of. Lando and I sat watching the Five Saber's races when a man had caught my attention in the stands below, or if memory serves me the force had drawn my attention to him. Not that it would have mattered to Lando, all Lando saw was his niece staring at some guy.

"Oh no, now I know for a fact pretty boy down there's too old for you," Lando had laughed.

I'd just reminded him about how much older Dad was than Mom when they met and he laughed with me while trying to hush me. I don't know how the conversation had descended into what it had, with me expressing to him my juvenile worries no one would ever want to take a chance on me with who I was. Perhaps now I don't care about something as silly as love, I've experienced enough of it to know how it ends, but back then I did, what sixteen year old doesn't? He tried to ease my worries, giving me the sort of pep talk only an uncle can give, Mom had echoed similar statements not long after but Lando's words stuck with me over the years.

I'd thought that had been the end of it until I'd sat in the cantina as Lando went to the bar and I watched the same man introduce himself. Growing up with war heroes for parents, especially Han Solo, I was never a stranger to having aspiring pilots wanting to meet their heroes and so I'd watched from a distance as they spoke, happily out of sight.

"General Calrissian," Poe Dameron had said shaking his hand. "It's an honour."

"General?" I heard Lando repeat in amusement. "No one's called me that in a long time."

"You fought with my parents on Endor," he'd said and I'd been slightly more interested.

"Wait don't tell me, I know that face," Lando had said and laughed in realisation. "You're Kes and Shara's boy aren't you?"

He'd given his name "Poe Dameron."

I'd recognised his parents names, particularly his mother's since she'd defended Naboo during Operation Cinder. More than anything I just remember being confused by the strange nagging I felt, almost as if I knew him, or rather that I would know him. It seems my intuition was correct.

All things considered, that day is something I'd all but forgotten about until now and it leaves me unsettled. Nothing good ever comes when the force starts throwing these coincidences at me, or rather as it seems wrapping up loose ends. There was more to the conversation I struggle to recall, conversations about the navy and whatnot, but I do remember them talking about his mother. 

As an aspiring pilot I'd taken an interest in the women who flew such as her and Hera Syndulla. Dad would often feign offence when I'd beg Mom to be able to come with her to meetings with General Syndulla since they'd had a friendly rivalry back in the day. Although Hera never abandoned her kid despite him being force sensitive so I know who I like more. Wherever he is I'm sure he's glad he was grown up by the time Luke began taking students, with Ben's age group having been the oldest ones he trained. The youngest however... that still pains me to think about. 

I'd disappeared before Lando could introduce us, so at least some of my anonymity remains intact. While I'm vaguely familiar with him, all he knows of me would be reputation and that's how I prefer to be known. 

Although the force isn't finished with me yet, the lingering tension from the last time I sat in this office still remains, bringing back other more uncomfortable memories.

"What do you mean I'm grounded!" I raged at her after coming back from what I thought was a successful mission. "I did everything you asked me to-"

"I sent you to run reconnaissance not to engage!" she yelled, as beside herself with anger as I'd ever seen her. "Instead you used the force to interrogate an officer and not just that, you engaged an entire squadron of stormtroopers with a lightsaber-"

"And I took them out!" I reminded her, proud of my accomplishment even if she was horrified, or at least proud in the moment. 

"And potentially started a war!" she snapped and slammed her hand down on the table. "What is the one rule I ask you to follow, the only damn rule that matters!"

Still I didn't care. "How are we meant to stop them if we can't fight them-"

"We stop them through these missions you think are pointless, through collecting data and using it to secure whatever funding we can get from the very few allies we have in the senate," she tried to make me understand and she grit out "Hope, we do not have the numbers or the facilities to enter into a war. The Rebellion was thousands strong, we have less than a hundred and the Resistance cannot afford to lose the only Jedi we have because she decided to go rogue and take matters into her own hands with the very weapon that should never be used for such violence."

Those words rubbed me the wrong way "So that's my role, the one symbolic Jedi. Not a pilot, not a fighter, not even your daughter-"

"Don't go there," she warned, the mother-daughter relationship we'd finally forged during the scandal with Vader having worn away with every disagreement over strategy. "I am speaking to you as your general, not your mother, and it's time you learned the difference. Which is why you aren't just stripped of your rank, you are grounded until you can pull your head in and not endanger this entire resistance on a whim. You tortured a man Hope." The way she looked at me made me sick. "You used the force to torture a man like-" she cut herself off but we both knew damn well who she was comparing me to. "For someone who can see the past you sure as hell don't know how to learn from it."

"He mentioned Ben," I ground out and she couldn't meet my eye. "He's calling himself Kylo Ren and has made himself the First Order's enforcer. Did you think I was going to let that officer go without finding out everything I could about what my brothers been doing!"

"I'm more concerned about what you've done," she said, terribly pale. "Saving those children at whatever cost, that I could excuse, that I would have even promoted you for. But the carnage you left behind and giving the First Order grounds to attack us I can't excuse. Using the force for that- as the last person with any authority to tell you how the force should be used... I am disgusted Hope."

But not as disgusted as I was at what I'd seen. "He was dragging children screaming from their homes-"

"And what intelligence did you torture out of him?" she asks me and that's when I clamped my mouth shut. "You could have asked where they were to be taken, how many, where their battalion is stationed, but no. You weren't just reckless you were selfish. If you were going to take your anger out regardless you could have given us something useful instead of chasing after Snoke. Tell me how did you rationalise the thought that a low ranking officer would know where either of them are?" I opened my mouth but she cut me off sharply. "Every single member of high command across all of our stations has petitioned for your demotion and an official court martial which has never happened before in the entirety of this organisation. They want you not just grounded permanently but banned from any Resistance operations and frankly I agree."

I gaped at her, betrayed. Command could believe whatever they wanted, but this was my own mother. "You think I'm dangerous?"

"I think you have been nothing but angry and spiteful these past years," she confessed to me as I stood there with tears burning in my eyes. "I understand you went through something horrific, I understand why you're acting out, but right now I can't trust that-"

"I won't end up like Ben?" She still couldn't meet my eye and I felt more betrayed by her in that moment than I ever did when I discovered the truth about Vader. "You think I'm like him?" But I knew there was something else. "No, you don't think I'm like Ben. You think I'm like him. Your father."

There was a bite to her voice. "Don't call him my father and don't you dare think for even a moment I would believe you could become what he did."

"Then why?" I whispered, tears of anger wetting my cheeks. "Why don't you trust me?"

"Because as of this moment you are too unstable to be trusted with important missions, or any mission for that matter," she said carefully, but the words hurt just as much. "I can't protect you from the law if you decide to let darkness take control, which is why you have to work where I can keep an eye on you. I want you to go to Hosnian Prime to work with the few allies we have left in the senate, Varish will look after you. You spent years being educated for a career in politics and I gave you your title so you could take my place in the senate. If I can't trust you in the field then that is your assignment."

I shook my head. "No." She was leaning over her desk, head hung in distress. "If you won't let me fight then I'm not staying here."

"Hope," she argued. "Please for once in your life think before storming out."

"I have," I said. "If you don't trust me then I'm going to find the one person who does." She looked up in fear, and I knew what she assumed. "Not him, Dad."

She sighed. "Honey, your father-"

"Is out there," I said, tired of failing to live up to her expectations. "And if I'm too much like him for you, or any other man in this damn family, then I'm going to find him!"

I'd stormed out with hot tears running down my cheeks, now I sit here cold as she enters the room and sits down across from me without a word, neither of us knowing what to say until I break the silence.

"Am I being court-martialed?"

"No," she answers shortly, her voice difficult to read.

"Lando convinced me to come home," I say, unable to calm the defensive tone in my voice. "I was hoping for a warmer welcome considering the speech he gave about how much you've missed me, how worried you've been."

"I was worried," she says, struggling to hold back her frustration. "I was worried sick that you were hurt or out of your mind but no, I find you the same as ever going off to race x-wings whilst I've been in the core worlds doing the job I'd asked you to do." I just shake my head to try to fight off the guilt and look away until she relents and asks "Did you find Han?"

"No, but Lando will keep looking," I answer stiffly and get to business. "He said you had a mission for me."

She nods, but if I thought she was going to let the past be the past I was wrong. "We will get to that, but now enough time has passed I hope we can speak honestly now about what happened so let me begin by saying what you did horrified me Hope. My barely nineteen year old daughter torturing an enemy officer and committing a massacre beyond what was necessary to protect those children. Even after they were off the planet you went back to finish the job to ensure there was no one living to testify to what you did. You committed a war crime, several I might add."

Against my better judgement I retort. "Legally it's not a war crime if we aren't technically at war."

She shakes her head, having not expected any different. "A cold war is still a war and it's only getting worse."

"Which is why-"

"Why you've been hunting the First Order for sport?" she finishes and I'm glad Snap gave me a warning. "Commander Dameron told me all about your encounter before you decided to come back and try to- what- what the hell were you even doing?"

I put it simply. "Trying to prove a point."

She just sighs and puts her head in her hands. "Hope you've been back five minutes and you're already giving me a headache."

"You asked me to come back," I remind her, wishing I'd stayed gone. "Sent Lando to beg me to come back-"

"Yes because you're my daughter and I love you despite how infuriatingly stupid you've been," she says bluntly and pure anger suddenly fills her eyes. "Working for Boba Fett?"

Shit.

Despite my panic I hold my ground. "He pays well."

"He pays well?" she repeats. "I should think so considering the money he got from giving your father over to Jabba the Hutt."

"Well that's his own fault for making shitty deals and not following through," I say, knowing well enough by now how it works. "You say I don't learn from the past but he's the one repeating it."

"And you should be smarter than to get into the same mess for the sake of spiting him," she lectures. "Because that's why you did it in the first place isn't it? To spite your father and when he didn't come back to drag you off Tatooine you decided to take the credits and take your anger out on tie fighters."

I remain unremorseful. "Would you rather me use a lightsaber?"

I'd almost forgotten that like myself, she gives as good as she gets but it's a comparison that doesn't phase me anymore. "Like Vader did?"

"I was once told Anakin Skywalker was a war criminal," I say, remembering that history lesson on the Clone Wars after years of Luke making our grandfather out to be the ultimate hero in Ben's eyes. "It only seems right I continue his legacy."

She does not like that answer. "Alright then I was wrong, you haven't matured enough to take on this mission."

She gets up to leave and I relent "Wait, Mom." She looks at me expectantly and we've been through this enough times I know what she wants to hear. "I'm sorry."

She still waits. "For?"

"For being a smartass about committing a war crime, no matter how justified it was, and running away for a year," I say and watch her inhale deeply to keep herself calm. "And for being a smartass now."

She sits back down and leans back in her chair. "A year Hope. I would have thought being gone that long running around the Outer Rims would have matured you at least slightly."

I actually scoff. "You really thought that after being married to Dad?"

"For one single minute can you not be a smartass," she pleads and raises her index finger. "Just one."

I wisely keep my mouth shut and nod, knowing it won't last.

"Long enough has passed I believe I can convince command you've grown up and have seen the error of your mistakes," she begins, moving to negotiations. "Now we both know that's a load of crap but if you want to get back in the field they need to believe it. I might be the General but there is only so much I can do to help you because I can't be seen giving my daughter or any member of this Resistance special treatment. While you've been gone I've done my best to try to rebuild your reputation for the day you inevitably came back, most of the base believes you've been studying politics on Naboo and completing your education."

I scoff in offence and suddenly it all makes sense why a commander would see someone pull off what I did and never even think of my name. "That's the best lie you could come up with, that I willingly went back to university after they expelled me for arguing with that old Imperial bitch?"

"Yes," she states and my frustration only grows, that I'm only known as the spoiled princess sent off to Naboo instead of what I've worked hard to become.

"So you discredit the fact I'm the best pilot in the Resistance so everyone believes I'm just some spoiled princess playing politics at some prissy university to the point your shiny new flyboy can't even realise who I must be and thinks he's actually better than I am?" Her eyebrows shoot up at that remark. "That's your solution to rebuilding my reputation? By utterly falsifying it and discrediting the one thing I've worked hard to be." I stick a finger into my chest as I grit out "I started flying when I was a child, I begged and pleaded to join the starfighter corps when I was just twelve years old and have spent my entire life working damn hard to be the pilot that I am. It's bad enough everyone just dismisses me as being Han Solo's daughter when I'm a better pilot than he ever was, but for no one to even recognise me as a pilot and just think I'm off prancing around Naboo-" I have to cut myself short. "How could you do that?"

She sees I'm genuinely hurt but remains firm in her decision. "How do you think they'd take it if I said you were running around with pirates and hunting the First Order on some mad vendetta?" 

"They'd think I was actually doing something worthwhile," I say and she blinks at me incredulously. "You might think I've been acting like an idiot but I've been smart about it."

She's unimpressed and bites back. "Words right out of your father's mouth."

"I made sure even if people pieced together I was the one in that starfighter they couldn't do anything about it because I was being legally contracted to defend a system from an unwelcome force, hell I had an invitation to the bounty hunters guild that I didn't accept because I knew it would be a bad look for the Resistance and for you. But I've been damn good at what I've been doing and I'm not going to apologise for it."

"Congratulations," she deadpans. "In trying to piss off your father you've become him, running away from your family for the thrill of making credits and blowing things up."

That finally shuts me up, Vader I can take being compared to, but not him. Not when I know she looks at me and sees him more than anyone else. She suddenly looks remorseful and reaches for my hand.

"Hope, you are my daughter and I love you more than you could ever know," she says and I wasn't prepared for those words, looking away as I force back tears. "But you need to realise your actions have consequences, if your father's situation isn't evidence of that I don't know what is. Luck inevitably runs out."

"It hasn't for you."

Her eyes are sad. "It ran out a long time ago, but yours hasn't. Not yet." I don't expect the ache when she reaches for my face and forcing back tears has not felt this hard in a long time. "You've grown up."

"Yeah well, that happens," I say curtly and she withdraws her hand. "I know you think I ran off like Dad did but you didn't give me a choice."

"You had a choice and you made it," she says gently, the love in her voice only making it worse. "But now I need you to own up to it and make better ones."

"If you want me to be ashamed of what I've done and apologise for it I won't," I say and finally she listens. "I did make my choices, and don't think I wouldn't make them again."

"Alright," she says upon seeing this won't go the way she wants. "Do you want to hear the truth?"

Believing there's nothing left she could say to hurt me I shrug. "Shoot."

"I never believed it when I was told the Skywalker blood ran strong in you, but I should have. When Sola and my mother's handmaidens told me you reminded them of my father I didn't listen. When Luke warned me dark things would come of your training I should have listened but I didn't and you were nearly killed as a consequence."

"Mom-" I immediately whisper at her blaming herself.

"I knew something was wrong between you and Ben, I knew something was wrong with him, but I sent you back to Ossus with him regardless," she says as if Ben gave her a choice in the matter. He'd taken me as his apprentice, and his eyes his authority overuled our own mother's. "Days later everything was gone. Ben, Luke, eventually Han. Everything was lost in that fire except for you." Her voice breaks. "I have tried in every way I know how to help you Hope, but you aren't helping me. It is a fact that you share many similarities with your grandfather, more than Ben ever did. Everyone who's ever lived to know both of you has said as much. I am aware of the darkness that's clung to you ever since you discovered what he became and I want to help you Hope, but I need you to let me."

My throat's tight. I've always shrugged off the comparisons, but they've never come so strongly from my own mother, the one person in the galaxy who has the most cause to despise him. Yet in my travels I've only found more people who've confirmed what I've tried to deny for years. "So that's why you can't stand me, because I take after him?"

She shakes her head in disbelief that that's the conclusion I'd come to, voice incredulous as she whispers "No, Hope that's not what I'm trying to tell you."

"Do you have any idea how long I spent trying to live up to you?" I ask her, remembering now just why I ran. "Trying to live up to a perfect hero but no matter how hard I try I'm told time and time again that I'm my father's daughter, or worse that I take after Anakin Skywalker. Never you, never Padmé Amidala, only ever them." Frustrated tears burn in my eyes that she truly can't fathom. "I don't want to hear that, I don't want to live up to anyone's legacy. I've spent years training to make my own path, I've spent another year out there in the Outer Rims not even recognising myself in the mirror trying to make a name for myself just to have all these powerful people look at me and tell me I'm just like a man I never knew. Desperate for validation, living up to a self-imposed prophecy, the one to restore balance and save us all only to lead the slaughter. Or worse that I'm like the father who abandoned me."

She quickly becomes unnerved at the cynical laughter that escapes me along with the tears. "Hope-"

"I don't want that, I just want my family but I can't have that," I say with a barely contained primordial rage burning in me. "All because of a voice in Ben's head." She's deadly quiet as I finally look her in the eye. "So if killing stormtroopers is as close as I can get to killing Snoke then that's what I'm going to do."

For the first time I sense a deep fear within her and she again reaches for my hand only for me to sharply pull it away. "I need you to listen to me."

"No!" I yell, a trembling mess as I slam my hand down on the desk. "I need you to listen to me when I say that if I can get my hands on Snoke I can end this! Or if I can just find Ben I know I could bring him back or convince him to turn on Snoke, but to do that I need to get my hands on these First Order officers and-"

"And you'll what, torture information out of them?"

The answer's simple in my mind. "Why not?"

"Because it's torture hope!" she yells. "For the love of-, you are not going to be torturing anyone for information. I know how much you loved your brother, I know how close you were and you are not the only one who wants him back." There's tears in both our eyes now. "But you are simply not prepared to take on Snoke."

"Luke took on the Emperor didn't he?" I retort. "He convinced Vader to turn on him and so will Ben. I know him better than you ever did Mom as much as you hate to hear that. I know he was screwed in the head and delusional, hell I know that better than you ever could and I have permanent scars to remind me of it every day!" There's nothing but pain in her eyes. "But everything he did was to protect me as twisted as it was and he would never let Snoke do to me what he's done to him. I know if I bring him back we will destroy Snoke."

She tries to steer me away from the subject, to de-escalate, to distract me from the spiral I'm heading down. "Someday yes, but for now I need you focused on proving to the senate what the First Order is truly doing so we can prepare. I promise you the day will come when you can use your saber but until then we need to build up the Resistance before starting a war we can't win and you are only one person. We need the support of the New Republic and the senate-"

"When are you going to realise we need to damn what the senate says and go after them ourselves?" I exclaim and it's then I fess up. "Do you have any idea how many of those bastards I've killed before they could gain a foothold in the Outer Rims?" Her face turns to stone. "How many outposts I've destroyed-"

"I don't want to know," she says hoarsely. "I don't want to know how many people you've killed or how many outposts you've blown up. I just want you to do what I'm asking you to do."

"What are you so afraid of?" I ask her at a complete loss. "I am capable-"

"You are too capable and you know it which makes you dangerous," she states factually and years worth of anger finally comes out. "You think you're smarter than everyone else in the room, but you're not. You think you are better and that you know better but you don't and it's past time you heard it. You don't do what is asked of you, you either go too far or disobey. You have always been all or nothing Hope. You run away for a year and now come back asking for me to trust you but I can't. You're impulsive and rash and not in the way we need. You don't think before acting and still refuse to do what is asked of you. You always have and I had hoped you could be mature enough to sit down so we could both apologise and move forward so I could give you this very important mission but no, you're too defensive and too defiant to even listen to me without interpreting me trying to get through to you as an attack!" Her voice breaks and for one of the very few times in my life I see tears running down her face. Three times I've seen it, but never solely because of me. "I love you, but I cannot trust you when you're like this."

Her words hurt, they're true, but they still hurt.

No, they don't just hurt, they tear me apart and I've never craved to be back in my bedroom on Hosnian Prime so badly. Back when I was still a child, back when I was still young enough if I cried I knew someone would come to comfort me, whether it was her or Dad, or most often Ben. Back before everything went to hell, and I can't stop the tears from coming now.

She goes to take my hand again but I pull it away, shaking my head as I stumble back out of my chair away from her, my flight response taking over. "Hope!" she calls out as I head for the door. "Wait-"

I'm already out the door and halfway to the hanger when I slam into Poe Dameron as I round a corner, he catches my arm and goes to ask if I'm alright but I pull it free, not stopping to make conversation as I rush to find R2 so we can leave.

For good this time. 

[sirhyst]

Poe x gn!reader

Reader shows Poe their written piece after months of not writing.

Pronouns used: none

Note: reader is also an artist but has not done written work in awhile. I wanted to do one where the reader is more flirty with Poe but considering the prompt, I’ll keep it simple. I didn’t want to assume what type of art anyone did so just insert whatever type of art you do. Also I’m glad people are enjoying the dad!fukuzawa x child!reader stories 😭

———————————————————————

You and Edgar were both artists. He specialising in writing and you in (art specialty). It had been months since you last attempted to write something and for some reason you felt compelled to try picking up the lone ink pen Edgar left in your shared bedroom.

Something simple, you thought to yourself. To say the time you spent writing flew by was an understatement. Of course you ended up with a short story, but good enough since you partially broke ties with your pen and paper.

You walked towards Edgar’s office door, nervous to show him what you had been working in the past few hours.

Poe sat at his desk, scribbling away whilst mumbling words to add to his current piece. He hadn’t realised that Karl had leapt from his position on his shoulders until he heard scratching at his door.

“Not now Karl,” Poe said with a small smile, “I promise I’ll take you outside in a second.” Karl huffed before continuing to scratch at the large wooden door. Having had enough, Poe glided towards the door opening it to find you there.

You had your back to the door, seeming to be deep in thought whilst holding a few sheets of paper to your chest.

“My river,” Edgar said, nearly making you jump three feet in the air.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” you did looking him in, what you hoped were his eyes, shielded by his brown hair. You outstretched your hand to grab his.

“I tried writing again, and I,” you paused suddenly feeling intimidated by the poet I front of you.

“I was hoping you would read it?” Edgar blushed, he felt honoured by the gesture. He nodded leading you back to his desk. As soon as you sat down, Karl made himself comfortable on your shoulders.

“Let me see,” Edgar held out his hands. You were about to hand him your work, before you quickly retracted the papers.

“If you don’t like it, please don’t tell me,” you said, lowering your head. Edgar placed his hand on his heart making a silent vow. You almost relinquished your papers, when you felt the urge to pull back again. This carries on before you finally gave in, immediately covering your face as it heated up.

The story it self took five minutes to read, but for you it felt like hours, especially since Poe didn’t say a word.

You turned to face him when you heard the papers gently land against the wooden surface.

“That was lovely, I can tell you have the same writing traits as you did since you last wrote something,” he said looking down at his hands.

It was a minor compliment but coming from him, it meant a lot.

Poe’s face grew redder by the second upon seeing the slight curve of your lips at his words.

“Maybe we can write together more,” you said, almost as if you were asking a question. He nodded in response, unable to use his words from how content he was.

You shifted closer to him, slowly inching your arms around his shoulders, before gently pulling him into a hug.

[geo-winchester]

Would you be willing to write the prompt First Snow with Poe Dameron?

THE PERFECT DATE

A/N: hi lovely anon, thank you so much for your request and I’m really sorry it took me a lot of time, I hope you had a great Christmas and I hope you like this and it was what you expect, I’m still taking request so if you or anyone have another request please let me know, lots of love and merry post Christmas!!💙

Christmas celebration

———————

You met Poe on the resistance, you were one of the pilots that flew by his side, you have to admit that you like him, he wasn’t just the commander of the resistance he was also kind, brave, he cared about everyone and you feel like an idiot every time he smiled at you. After a few months without seeing each other you notice a change in his attitude, at first he tries to ignore you, but after a few days he starts to make any excuse to be around you and you like that. One night as you were getting ready to sleep, you heard someone knocking at your door. You were a little surprised when you saw Poe standing outside, you noticed that he was sweating and trying to catch his breath.

-Poe?- you said -It’s everything ok?- he nodded.

-Yes, I just need to ask you something- he said.

-It couldn’t wait until tomorrow?- he shook his head, you wait a little -so what is it?

-Would you want to have a date with me?

-You could asked me that tomorrow- you said with a smile

-Because I was afraid that I would chicken out tomorrow- you smile before you nod -Great, then let’s go…

-What? Right now?

-Yes, that way you can regret it tomorrow- you giggled.

-At least can I wear something else?- you said as you pointed to your pajamas, you saw him smile before you closed the door.

He took you to the cantina where you had a couple of drinks and talked about everything that came to your mind. You notice him staring at you and try to hide it. You had a great time and the two of you laughed and smiled nervously at each other as you made your way back to the base.

-shit it’s freezing out here- you said -I’m glad I didn’t come in pajamas- he laughed -I don’t feel my fingers.

-Here- he said as he took your hands and blew some air, you blushed when his eyes met your eyes, but the two of you got distracted when you noticed the few snowflakes coming down from the sky, you couldn’t help but giggle -Have I told you that this is my favorite time of the year- he shook his head -everything seem magical, the lights, all the problems seem small, and the snow… it makes everything perfect… It makes this a perfect date.

-You look beautiful in the snow- he said, making you blush.

-Can I ask you something?-he nod -If you want to have a date with me, why did you ignore me when I came back?- he sighed.

-I know it’s stupid, but I didn’t screw up our friendship- he said -I like spending time with you and when I realized that I was in love with you, I tried to hide it…

-And what changed?- he giggled.

-I don’t know why, today I started to think about my future, what would I do when the war was over, maybe I’ll go back to Javin or maybe I’ll stay on the republic or I’ll help training pilots, i wasn’t sure what i was going to do but the only thing I was sure was that I always picture in all my futures- he smile -I don't want to scare you and maybe we won't last or maybe we’re meant to be together but i don't want to spend my life regretting of not saying anything- he got close to you -so what do you say? You want to try this?- you smiled as you nod, when he understood what was happening he took your cheek and kiss you, he felt how you smiled between kisses.

-Shit I always wonder how this will feel…

-And? Does it feel better?

-Yes, definitely better- you said, making him smile.

-Come on, let’s go for some hot coco- you nod, but suddenly you stoped.

-Poe- you said making him turn to you -for the record I´ll never regret saying yes for a date with you- he smiled -and i'm happy that you didn't chicken out asking me… and…

-I know darling- he wink before he gave you a little kiss -I love you.

Xxxxxxx

Tag list: @writefightandflightclub @mariesackler @multifandomlife22 @mattmurdocksscars @phoenixhalliwell @autumnleaves1991-blog @supernovafeather @ofstarsandvibranium @santigarcia @itspdameronthings @ahookedheroespureheart @later-gators12 @22carolina08 @in-between-the-cafes

If you want me to add you to my taglist please let me know🙈

[theood]

Here's my yearly playlist two months into 2024 (Feb.)!

I actually took note of the new songs for this month. I spent more time February listening through band's discography. I learned that, for multiple bands now, I seem to like their older albums more than the newer ones.

While I didn't notice a change in music added to my playlist I feel like I was enjoying sadder and darker songs. (Moody, I was. Am.)

I'm still enjoying Those Poor Bastards. Particularly, No One, which also reminds me of John and Arthur from Malevolent.

At the moment, I'm working through Harley Poe's discography. And I am thoroughly enjoying his older stuff more than the newer albums. The last one I listened to I don't think I enjoyed a single one? I would need to look back at my liked songs to double check that.

The other new song to be added to this playlist was Blink-182's What's My Age Again. Which I feel is a large shift from the other general vibe of the other songs on the playlist. (Though, take that with a grain of salt. I do have a Spamalot song on this playlist, haha.)

Here's to March! Maybe spring coming, and day light savings coming I'll start adding some cheery songs to the playlist.

[jadeile-writes]

Fanfic Progress Update 161

So, Hazbin Hotel was effing NOICE :D Didn't inspire me to write so far, but we'll see how this brainrot progresses. Currently I'm at the stage where I watch the musical parts 15 million times a day, the next stage is usually reading fanfics written by others, and the next one is writing if I fail to find what I'm looking for or just feel like it. Again, we'll see. On other news, stay tuned for the last sneak-peek for A Sign that you're important at the bottom of this post!

Current WIPs:

A Sign that you're important

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog, movieverse

Summary: One month upon his assigment as Doctor Robotnik's assitant, Agent Stone is told to learn sign language. He doesn't know why, and isn't suicidal enough to ask, so he simply rolls with it. Turns out, it's not just a whimsy of the eccentric doctor, even though that doesn't stop the doctor from utilizing it like one.

Progress: Chapter 5 was posted on 18th of January. The last chapter will be posted on 25th of January aka the next Thursday. Chapter 6 is a bit over halfway written, so cutting it a little close here, but I'll get it done in time. The biggest problem will be the chapter title tbh. I have a placeholder title (the old title for chapter 5 actually), but it's not perfect, so I'll need to brainstorm at some point, which is hopefully not on Thursday right as I'm posting it XD;

-----

Labor with a side of lattes (formerly known as "Life at the laboratory". Now the title isn't as boring and also vibes properly with the title of next part of the series)

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog, movieverse

Summary:

"Wanted: a yesman who is capable of operating an espresso machine, has at least a higher IQ than your average amoeba, and is willing to put work before having a personal life, or indeed a life, period. The extra in your pathetic paycheck is good, but the strain in your psyche will make up for the positives. Forfeit your basic human rights and apply today if this sounds like you." 

Maybe it said something about Agent Stone - and probably not good things - that the poster in the cafeteria's pin board piqued his interest more than any of his official assignments had for a good long while. 

Dr. Robotnik, huh?

Progress: This one will be part one of a two-parter longfic, the first part probably... 10-ish chapters? It's a bit hard to estimate at this point, so the number is subject to change - will probably end up being increased tbh. My weekly writing hour (as in, a specific hour when I sit down and write, no excuses [other than not being home]) is devoted to this fic.

I have the first five chapters done. Chapter 6 is 1/3 written.

I also have two halfway written chapters that don't yet know their exact placement within the fic (they're scenes that will be slotted in to wherever they feel natural, once the fic is ready for them.)

-----  

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to Someday™:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

Rolling with it (Zelda: BotW)

Hah, our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest! (Hazbin Hotel)

-----

That’s it for the WIPs! Here’s the promised sneak-peek into A Sign that you're important (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

Maybe it would have been better if he had never been able to talk with Knuckles. He could have just dropped the renegade red rascal at the hedgehog’s home to do whatever it was he had assumed Knuckles wanted – he had assumed punching, ripping some quills, and moving on, if he had had to hazard a guess when he had been unable to hear – and been none the wiser about the Master Emerald. He could have been content about the hedgehog getting some much deserved use as a punching bag and moved on with his own plans. Getting to Stone, kissing him silly, freshening up, eating actual food, getting a good night’s sleep in an actual bed (preferably with Stone in it), getting acquaintanced with the cafe lab, and making plans for further actions in the morning. Plans that likely would have involved checking up on the hedgehog to see if there was anything left to salvage in the wreck for science, and whether further revenge was necessary. Getting to his secret lab. Considering negotiations for his re-employment with the government – he had done nothing wrong, he had been acting on their orders to find out what had caused the blackout and he had been given the leave to deal with it in any way he deemed necessary.

-----

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

Links:

My AO3   My FFnet   My Ko-fi    Radiohusk Discord Server

[the-force-awakens]

If I may ask just one more top five- pls lmk if I'm getting annoying. Top five favorite Poe headcanons?

definitely not getting annoying! I fell asleep and woke up wide awake bc in my hubris I thought I could stay asleep at 10 o'clock. Smh. I love this!

In Free Fall, it mentions Poe is kind of creeped out by droids until he meets Eevee, and while that could be because his primary exposure to them were medical droids while Shara had bloodburn — my personal fave headcanon is that a baby Poe went downstairs and accidentally watched part of a horror vid his parents were watching about evil droids (probably battle droids) and it scared him so bad that a) droids creeped him out for a long time after and b) he developed a dislike for horror movies from it

Jumping off FF again, I like to think that post break-up/taking down The Biggest Crime Syndicate at the time, 17 year old Poe winds up at the Colossus. My personal headcanon (that I think the math holds up on) is that immediately afterwards he gets into contact with L'ulo but... isn't ready to commit to seeing Kes again because he feels he's let his dad down so thoroughly, so L'ulo takes him to the Colossus and to Yeager to stay while Poe gets back up on his feet after everything that happened.

I also like to think it's there that he meets BB-8! I like to think maybe BB-8 was slightly disrepaired and about to be sold for scraps and Poe just used up all his savings to get him and spent months working on repairing him with Yeager's help — and from there, the story writes itself.

I think Poe's biggest draw to Suralinda in the Academy was how good she is as sussing out people's true intentions/how forward and direct she is. He got played and tricked before, and I think Suralinda's bluntness (for as much as it can be a fault) was a huge appeal for Poe, and I like to think he picked up a thing or two watching her, when it came to puzzling out what a CO's true intentions may be (aka....honing his own uncanny observation skills/intuition). I also think they were a Thing but it didn't last long because Poe wanted something serious and Sura....did not. They're amicable exes though.

I think Black Squadron has frequent movie nights with whatever movies they've illegally downloaded from the holonet, and anytime it's Jess's turn, she picks horror vids, so Poe very begrudgingly has a bunch of horror movie knowledge and gets playfully teased for how much he plainly hates/gets creeped out by the movies. He's very good-natured about them though, since Jess loves them so much

[pekofskyinparadise]

everyday is a winding road

Well, a horoscope told me I should put my voice out there this week, so here we are.

I actually woke up in a decent mood today for what feels like the first time in a while. I've had what feels like a neverending carousel of random, mostly annoying and not life-threatening medical issues, but as they pile up, regardless of their severity, they've been grating on my ability to be very positive in general. It's absolutely exhausting to be uncomfortable for an extended period of time, and not to have a resolution in sight yet, and to have to use leave from work on doctor visits that feel like a waste of time... at times, it's felt a little hopeless.

Luckily though, that feeling hasn't lasted. I do have hope that there is a resolution for my issues. My track record for getting through them is 100%. My hip issue that I've been going to the chiropractor for has hurt less the past couple of weeks than it has in months. I have a path forward. I have health insurance. I have money. I have time. I absolutely pick my problems over what so many people go through. But that doesn't mean I don't have them, and they don't matter. Perspective is important, but so is allowing ourselves to feel our feelings and say hey, this really sucks.

Feeling kind of stuck has definitely also led me to put some time toward my 5 things I want to do more of in 2023: exercise, play guitar, read, write, and spend time outside. I'm pretty sure that each day of this month, I've done at least one of these things (although I haven't kept track) and these things always make me feel just a little bit better. Having a good cry about it sometimes helps too. And just focusing on that tiny pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel, and knowing that each annoying doctor's appointment and phone call is helping to get a little bit closer to feeling fine (Sheryl Crow, anyone?)

Also, I'm pretty sure the main reason I got out of bed this morning was because I had "Kick the Blues" by Larkin Poe stuck in my head, so I highly recommend it if you need a little motivation to move your body and feel good, even if it's just for a few minutes. Plus, today's the last day of January, and January's been rough, so it feels like maybe the end of it might bring something good. On to brighter days. Kickin' the blues.

[angelily-vine]

Nevermore’s Starlight Ch. 5

Wednesday Fanifc x OC (Aria Amor)

A/N -- Hiii, I know it’s been a while but so much has been happening and I literally got done with this chapter months ago, I just haven’t been able to post it😭 I hope you all enjoy and that I’m able to post more💗💗

Summary: The girls are having fun with the Poe Cup Race, but something comes up that catches Aria’s eye.

“You want us to be what?” 

This is outrageous.

Larissa smiled at me cheekily, not backing down.

“We could be the Black Cats!”

I only continue to glare at her, having no words left to say. Well, no kind words left to say. But who are we kidding, kind words are never usually my forte when it comes to these things. Most things.

“What do you plan on having us wear if we agree to be the ‘Black Cats’?” Aisha, a fellow Ophelia Hall member asked with a raised brow.

“Leather black suits with stitch accents, cat ears, and we can give each other whiskers!” The bubbly blonde beamed.

The other girls who volunteered to help prepare for the Poe Cup looked to Morticia and me for an answer. Throughout this entire mess, Morticia and I both came out to be the captains of the team and Larissa was our co-pilot. 

Was it Morticia and I’s intention to be appointed as the team leaders? No…

Maybe…

Kind of…

Alright, yes, we both strived to become the captain. And at first, there was only meant to be just one captain. However, when Ms. Caddel heard a snippet of our diminutive argument over it, she came to us after school and compelled us to agree on having two captains.

Larissa was more than happy to be our co-pilot, simply relieved that Morticia and I had finally stopped arguing.

I turned away from Larissa to look at Morticia who had a sly look on her face.

“That sounds ravishing!” The raven relished.

And to that, Larissa jumped up and cheered.

Using the rest of the time we had, the girls and I finished painting the canoe and Larissa and Aisha were planning out the outfits. Lillian eventually popped up, handing out plates of pizza and giving out drinks Ms. Caddel provided. 

The bells rang and Morticia, Larissa, Lillian, and I were on our way to our final period, Botany. On most days, Gomez would like to tag along with us, but he was forced to postpone relationships with others from other dorms. Stupid and childish, but I couldn’t care less.

During our walk there, Morticia asked Lillian why she wasn’t joining us for the race and Lillian proceeded to say that it wasn’t much of her strong point. Also claiming that she couldn’t risk being beheaded by the boys of Icarus Hall or getting penetrated by another team’s canoe spikes. The three of us looked at her dismissively, not in the mood for her dramatic excuses.

“Oh, please, just say you don’t want to be a part of the fun!” Morticia scoffed and elbowed Lillian playfully.

Dr. Grey had assigned us a project, considering certain factors and whether or not they affect a plant’s growth. Such as music, praise or degradation, certain things and chemicals like caffeine, etc. 

“How about, I take the Monstera and commend it, whilst you take the Pothos and say whatever cruel thing you can think of?” Larissa smiled.

“You know me well,” I tilt my head to the side, “Possibly a bit too well for my liking.”

Larissa giggled and happily slid the Monstera over to her, already beginning to shower it with compliments.

“I’m surprised you didn’t go with the coffee thing, Ria,” Lillian teased, leaning over her and Morticia’s table.

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean, Ms. Montonellie?” A bit of attitude spilled from my tone as I said the last few bits of my question.

“Oh, nothing… I just know how much you love your coffee.”

“Mhm,” I roll my eyes at her.

“And what’s wrong with her love for coffee, Lilli?” Morticia inquired, seemingly a bit offended. Maybe because she was a caffeine lover herself.

“Nothing, nothing!” Lillian put her hands up.

Larissa chuckled at the two and gently bumped my shoulder.

“Hm?”

“Do you have practice today?” She asked in her sonorous yet kind and posh voice.

“Yes, why?”

Her voice then became small like of a timid child. “Can I come to watch?” 

“Don’t you have tennis?”

“We’re off this week, coach Wall had an accident.”

“So in turn, instead of studying, which is one of your favorite things to do,  you want to watch me and a group of girls practically running and practicing hitting and throwing a volleyball for two hours?” I ask, a bit surprised by her request.

She merely gave me a shy smile.

I think on it for a moment before finally giving her a yes. The blonde gave me an even brighter smile in response.

“I simply cannot wait! I get to see you play before anyone else does,” She squealed.

A bit flattered by her excitement, I offered her a minuscule grin. Nonetheless, a hint of curiosity makes me wonder why she’d want to come. Larissa had told me before that she was planning on going to our games with Morticia and Lillian; our first game was only in a few days' time. She’s usually one with patience, I don’t see why she wouldn’t wait until then. She also wasn’t the biggest sports lover. 

After Botany, I informed Larissa to wait for me on the main gym’s bleachers when she was finished changing out of her uniform. 

Stepping into the gymnasium with my practice clothes on; A simple pair of black spandex, an oversized white tee, and disgustingly pink volleyball shoes my mama gifted me. The shoes are most likely the most colorful and bright things in my wardrobe and something Lillian likes to tease me for.

Before I start peppering with one of my teammates, I look at Larissa who sat near the top of the bleachers. There were also a few others who sat close to her, some were friends of the girls and others were their boyfriends. Larissa met me with a smile and two thumbs up.

I noticed that she was dressed in her familiar beige and her hair was still styled. For whatever reason, there was also a tinge of pink skimming her cheeks. I’m guessing it was because it‘s a bit warm in the gym. Giving Larissa a nod, I go back to my usual partner, Melissa.

“Ready, Ms. All-around?” The brunette smirked.

Ms. All-around became a nickname for me that the team fabricated shortly after tryouts. They say it was because I was appointed as our outside hitter and supposedly the best they’ve ever had.

Following our pepper routines, we do our usual warmups and drills. From practicing our passes and ball control to working on our hits and serves.

“Alright my dears, how about we finish today with a scrimmage or two?” Coach Garnier requests.

My teammates and I all agreed to scrimmage and Garnier equally split us apart. Partnered with quite a few upperclassmen.

“What a treat, I’ve been partnered up with my favorite fresh meat!” One of the juniors smirked, sending me a wink. “See how I rhymed there.”

“You sound like a high school normie calling me that,” I snapped back.

She and a few others giggled at the insult as they got into position.

To start off, the opposing had the ball. 

Before serving, Layla offers a warning grin, notifying those of us watching that she was going to go for her favorite move. 

“Short!” Melissa alerted the moment Layla threw the ball up. 

Nora, our libero, readied herself with a knowing look. Swiftly, she made her way to receive the jump float serve which had hit the tape, causing Nora to dive for it. Melissa sets the ball in return, and I run and jump, spiking it.

“Woo!” Leah cheers in celebration over the given point, raising her arms up.

The scrimmage only lasted about forty-five minutes, ending with my team winning, the scoreboard two to one. Afterward, we finalize practice with our cool-off stretch routine.

“I need Aria on my side next time,” Layla sighs as she gathers her stuff to leave.

I roll my eyes at her frisky grin. 

Layla ignores the look and bids her farewell, “See you tomorrow, Ms. All Around!”

Subsequently, I turn on my heels to get Larissa.

The blonde was already making her way down the bleachers, ending her conversation with a few of the other girls who came to watch. 

“Absolutely wonderful!” She happily praised, slightly skipping toward me.

“That was really nothing,” I mumble, “But thank you.”

Larissa simpered and playfully nudged my shoulder, “Ready to go?”

I hum in response, picking up my sports bag, and throwing the strap over my shoulder. Larissa grabs my water bottle and wraps an arm around my free one.

“I know that shower tonight is going to feel like heaven,” She smirked.

“Oh, absolutely.”

The entire walk back to our dormitories was filled with conversation. 

I asked the blonde what she thought of the practice and if she enjoyed her time there. She then continued to tell me how awe-inspired she was of me and my team, from our skills, knowledge of the sport, and relations with one another. Larissa also had an inquiry about volleyball, such as what certain terms meant and the positions of each player. 

How she looked at me so filled with contentment and adoration, her gaze showing that she was actively listening to every word I said sent a feeling of comfort and acceptance. I don’t believe I’ve ever met someone as good of a listener as Larissa. Nor have I ever met anyone who was so welcoming and kind. No matter what I was going on about, she always seemed to listen. I take gratitude in her willingness to take in whatever it was I proclaim. 

When we arrive at my dorm, we’re met with a restless Lillian.

“Are you alright, dear? You seem oddly tense.” Larissa inquired, worry enveloping her face.

The stressed blonde at her desk answered in an impotent voice, “We have that quiz coming up in math tomorrow, I don’t want to fail it.” 

“Oh, don’t stress, Lill. I’m sure you’ll do well. You always do.” Larissa insisted, taking a seat on my bed, and starting to take her heels off.

In silence, I gathered my night clothes and towel and headed toward my bathroom to shower. The blondes continued to talk and the subject, somehow, eventually changed from the quiz and the current unit in math to considering haircuts. 

Stripping myself of the sweaty practice clothes, I take a second to look at the incoming bruises from the past days. Afterward, I let my hair down from its ponytail and brushed it out before I stepped into the shower. To no surprise, Larissa was right. The moment I felt the water hit my skin, it felt like heaven. Any last nerves or frustration from earlier today were washed away with everything else. For that moment, at least.

I took my time in the shower and proceeded with my bathroom night routine. By the time I came out, Larissa was lying down on her back with her eyes closed and Lillian was busy studying.

“Don’t fall asleep now, Larissa. Unless you want me to push you whenever I wish to,” I warn, poking her in the side.

She squirmed away and giggled, “I’m not asleep! I was merely just resting my eyes.”

“Mhm, sure.”

Larissa stood up from the bed and gave me a sweet smile. Her lips parted as if she was going to say something, but a faint gasp from the other side of the room stopped her from speaking.

“Holy shit,” Lillian’s mouth left agape out of surprise, now turned toward us. “Larissa did you get even taller, homegirl?!”

“I think so,” Larissa mumbled curiously, looking down at herself in a feeble attempt to see if she had grown.

“Gag me with a spoon before you say homegirl ever again.” 

“Aria, how tall are you again?” Lillian asked, ignoring my commentary.

“5’10,” I glanced at Larissa who was looking at me with an innocent smile plastered on her face and her head slightly tilted. 

“You’re phenomenal at math, Ria. How tall do you think Rissa is?”

“Six-foot at least.”

“Damn,” The werewolf muttered in astonishment and shock.

“Is this a good thing?” Larissa sheepishly grinned, her cheeks turning a slight pink.

“In this lady’s eyes, hell yes! Do you know how hot tall women are? With your height and beauty, you could literally be a model!” Lillian beamed.

“Oh, please,” She scoffed, flustered from the abrupt praise.

“I’ve arrived!” A well-known raven-haired psychic announced as she entered the room.

Ironic timing.

“Ah! She finally came back from the party!” Larissa excitedly teased.

“As I’ve said before,” Morticia closed the door behind her and laid down on Lillian’s bed, sprawling her arms out. “It wasn’t a party, Rissa. It was just a fun little club meeting.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Larissa rolled her eyes and sat back down on my bed.

Morticia then turned her head from us to Lillian who was still sitting at her desk. “Hey, Lilli.”

“Hi, Tish,” She smiled, evidently tired from studying.

“Come,” Morticia insisted softly, patting a spot beside her on the bed.

Lillian sighed in defeat, knowing she wouldn’t be able to win an argument with Morticia. At least not in her current state. The blonde made her way to Morticia and they snuggled up together with Lillian’s stuffed animals.

Taking my gaze from the two, I looked down at Larissa and pushed her down on the comforter. Wordlessly, I contentedly reclaim my spot on my bed.

“Hey!” Larissa laughed. “Now, why would you do that?”

“I told you that I was going to push you.”

“I wasn’t even asleep!”

I shrugged at her and got into a comfortable lying position. Larissa threw one of the smaller pillows at me and attempted to make a run for it. 

Before she could get away, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back onto the bed, keeping her down with my arm. Immediately afterward, I pick up one of the bigger pillows with my free hand and whack her.

In return, she gives me a goofy smile.

“Asshole,” I mutter, returning to my spot on the cushions. 

“I’m the asshole?” The shapeshifter inquired in a falsely offended tone.

Instead of answering, I tuck myself in.

Larissa shifted to rest on top of my legs, “Oh, don’t sleep now! You could at least answer me, asshole!” 

Morticia and Lillian chuckled at us.

“Poe cup is tomorrow!” Morticia beamed, elongating the words.

“Yes, yes it is!” Larissa giggled.

“Gnarly!” Lillian grinned.

I scowl at the word, “Don’t ever say that again.”

Larissa and Morticia laughed at the seemingly hurt, frowning blonde, “Always against me.”

“Okay you wonderful, gorgeous, chaotic three,” Morticia chuckled, released her hold on Lillian, and got up. “I’m going to go change and head to bed, see you in the room Riss. Goodnight, my dears!”

“Night, Tish!”

“Goodnight, Morticia.” 

After Morticia walked out and Lillian went into her bathroom, I pushed Larissa off my legs. “Get off me, blondie.”

“Don’t call me that. It’s such a stupid nickname,” Larissa playfully demanded, crossing her arms as she stayed in the position she fell into, “I rather you call me Riss, Rissa, hell, even Lari. Anything but blondie!”

“Lari, as in Larry? You rather I call you that than blondie?” I question, raising an eyebrow.

“Blondie sounds like a nickname you’d give a dumb blonde,” Larissa muttered, shifting towards me. “I’m no dumb blonde.”

“Whatever you say, Larissa.”

“Can someone come down with me to get dessert?” Lillian whined as she walked out of her bathroom, now dressed in sleepwear.

“I’d love to!” Larissa beamed as she crawled off my bed and skipped to Lillian.

What a sweet tooth this girl was.

“Do you want us to get you some chocolates, Ria?” Lillian asked before completely walking out.

“Yes, please.”

While the two were gone, I attempted to work on my novel. I haven’t been able to write as much as I’d like to because of school and extracurriculars, just as well as the social hangouts I’m dragged into. Anytime I can get to work on this or to work on my art is cherished.

At the moment, the main character is still in the process of grieving their loved one. I understand the stages very well, having gone through them for most of my life. Oddly enough, I’m also considerably capable of understanding and going in-depth with emotion and feelings, just as well as other personal aspects of the mind. Nonetheless, I can’t seem to continue where I left off. 

In turn, I chose to write a few poems. Well, I wouldn’t exactly classify them as poetry. Though, if I formatted it correctly, it could be a poem. Either way, it’s just a few lines of whatever I think of usually rooted in my current state of mind. 

“You bring me back to life.

Though your smile may take the breath from my lungs,

it brings the blood to my beating heart.

With every embrace,

brings warmth to the chills of your absence.

And to the sound of your voice,

my eyes light up 

and suddenly,

life is no longer disarray and sorrow,

but heaven and infatuation”

Sometimes I disgust myself with the poetic words I conceive in the eyes of romance. Revolted by what I’d just written, I decided to give myself a topic to think about instead of just writing what goes through my mind.

“You are not a poem,

Beautifully written and breathtaking,

You are an unfinished thought.

Long forgotten.

Not a painting,

Intricate and enchanting,

Merely a scribble on a torn piece of paper.

Neither a given light in the darkness,

Nor the stars of the night.

Nothing but a small step in someone else’s journey in life.”

I hate it.

Frustrated with the lack of ideas and creativity, I groan and bury my face in my hands.

After about five minutes of wallowing in self-pity and giving in to any mental exhaustion I’ve ignored for the past few days, I go back to my desk. Subsequently, I pull out my sketchbook and begin a new page. What is it am I drawing? I don’t know for sure. However, anytime I draw it at least comes out to be a semi-decent piece of something. It’s much better than nothing or something shit.

By the time the happy blondes return, I’ve crowded up two pages with a woman I have yet to name and her feline companion. Drawing her in her front view, side profile, and a ¾ view, just as well as two full body sketches, one including the cat. I attempted to give her hair a voluminous and soft look. I also sketched a forest clearing that caught my eye during a walk with Larissa.

“Who’s that?” Larissa said in a hushed tone as she leaned over my shoulder. I’m guessing from the whispering, she didn’t want to disrupt any concentration.

“A girl. I’m not sure as to who it is. I just drew her out of whatever came to mind.”

Larissa smiled at me, a look of pride and veneration in her eyes, “You’re endlessly filled with talent and surprises.”

“Oh, please,” I rolled my eyes in disbelief.

“It’s true!”

“Liar.”

Larissa gasped and put on another one of her fake looks of shock, “I’d never!”

“Whatever.”

“I don’t know what she said, but Larissa’s right,” Lillian deviously grinned as she slid the few bars of chocolate she’d taken toward me.

I shook my head, “This is anti-brunette,” 

“What?!” Larissa laughed.

“Anti. Brunette. Notice how the two blondes are ganging up against me? You should be glad I don’t consider this anti-Asian.”

To that last segment, Larissa let out a real gasp.

“We would never!” Lillian scoffed, placing a hand on her chest as if her heart was aching, “I feel so hurt that you would ever say that we could ever be against you. Or to any Asians at all!”

“You never really know,” I shrug, opening a Lindt bar.

“We steal chocolate for you and this is how you repay us? Accusations so cruel and false.” Lillian laid a hand against her mouth, looking away as if I’d just told her that I killed her best friend.

“Reparations.”

Lillian pursed her lips, not having anything else to say, turning around on her heels to rush over to her bed. Larissa’s attempt to hold in her laugh was a hilarious look.

“Anywho,” Larissa quietly cooed after settling down, “It’s getting a tad late and I have a bit of studying to do,”

“You’re always in those books, you don’t even need to study!” Lillian declares from her bed, raising her hands up. She looked silly doing so and still lying on her back.

“Don’t forget to be mean to your photos before bed!” She smiled, ignoring the werewolf.

“Don’t forget to praise that monstera as if it were your history books.”

Larissa let out a small laugh as she walked away, “Goodnight, my dears.”

“Goodnight, Larissa.”

“Goodnight, Rissa!”

“So, you are gay?” Lillian asked after the door shuts behind Larissa.

“What the hell?”

Lillian lets out a big laugh, “I’m sorry! You just never answered me all those nights ago! I want to know! I need to know!”

“Stay out of my business.”

“Please! Come on! I’m your best friend!”

“Good Lord,”

“Are you saying I’m not your bestie?! Oh, you’ve broken my heart three times now, Ria.” Lillian frowned.

“Better for you than me stabbing it.”

“I cannot believe this treatment I am receiving.”

“Whatever Lillian.”

Lillian grinned, “I love you too, Aria.”

“Shut up and go to sleep.”

The morning was filled with unnecessary joy and excitement for the Poe Cup. At lunch, it was all anyone was talking about. Everything started getting too tedious to bare, so I snuck away about an hour before the teams were meant to rally up for the race.

Thankfully, no one was in the library at this time. There, I find my way to the back, a secluded area with a few chairs and tables. Thriving in the comfortable, tranquil silence and absence of others. I haven’t been alone like this since, I’m not even sure when.

At home, the house was almost always packed because we live with my mother’s parents and there are also the kids. My sister’s seven years younger and my brother is a decade younger. So, when the adults are busy, I’m the one left to babysit. Here, there’s almost no way to be alone. There’s always going to be someone there with you.

“Aria?” 

For fuck’s sake.

“Yes, Larissa?”

The blonde pops her head out from one of the bookshelves, carefully walking up to me. If it were anyone else, I would’ve thrown the bookshelf onto them.

“I’m sorry, dear, am I interrupting anything? If you wish for me to leave,” Her voice is just as sweet as she is.

“You’re alright, Larissa. What is it?”

Hesitant to continue, she slowly takes a seat beside me, “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Why?”

“You’ve seemed a bit off lately. And I know, I don’t know you the best and you aren’t quite fond of being around others, but you’ve been a bit more reserved lately. From the version, I know of you. Not exactly isolating yourself, but you haven’t been talking as much and I’ve caught you spacing out quite a bit.”

“What an observant girl you are,”

She offers a sympathetic smile.

“I’m alright, Larissa, truly. Thank you for your concerns. I’ve just been busy with all the sports, band, and school. Balancing everything, along with my own personal enjoyment,” I assured.

“Well, alright,” The look she gave seemed defeated, yet she still held her smile, “Care to walk down with me to set up?”

“Of course,” I say as I get up with her and accept her hand.

When we got to the dock closest to the building, the tents were set up and our team was still getting dressed. The sun was out and the weather seemed perfect with occasional faint gushes of wind. At least the weather isn’t going to be an obstacle.

“Come on, Riss, Aria! I want to put the whiskers on you two!” Morticia beamed, clapping her hands. 

To no surprise, Morticia looked wonderful in the catsuit. As did the others, of course.

“Aria, can you French braid my hair?” Aisha asked from one of our tents.

I hummed in response, stripping from my uniform to get into my suit. As I change, I hear the girls laughing and rushing to get ready for the race.

“Riss, come on, come on, come on!” Morticia squealed.

The second I step out of the tent, it feels like everyone stopped to look. Ignoring the feeling of stares, I made my way to Aisha who was sitting on the grass. Her joyous smile held a tint of mischievousness.

I kneel down behind her and she hands me the brush, “What’s with the smile, Aisha?” I asked in a monotone voice.

“Oh, nothing,” She cooed with a suspicious giggle. 

“Uh, huh,” I picked her head up, “Look straight.”

While braiding Aisha’s hair, I feel a headband being placed on my head. From the giggling, I know that it’s Morticia.

“You look so gorgeous, Ria,” She praises, moving my head to face her.

I give her a look before going back to Aisha’s hair. 

“I’m done.”

“Yay! Thank you!”

“Okay, come on, come on, come on!” Morticia smiled as she pulled me by the arm and practically ran to where she set up her makeup and face paint. 

She sits me at a picnic table next to Larissa. Larissa looked wonderful in her suit and the new hairstyle she asked me to do for her.

“Can I add pink, please?” Morticia pleaded with a pout and her well-known puppy eyes.

“No.”

“Please, Ria?” 

Knowing she wouldn’t stop until she got what she wanted, I simply gave her a nod. She jumps at the approval and happily picks out a pink to apply to the tip of my nose. Larissa seemed as happy and giddy as the raven was. 

Morticia was so close, I could feel her breath against my lips. She was so concentrated on perfecting the whiskers, biting her lip. I couldn’t help but catch an unreadable look on Larissa’s face that replaced her smile from my peripheral vision.

It took about forty minutes for all teams to get ready and settle into the canoes. As we all waited for principal Ramos to conclude her big Poe Cup speech and signal the start of the race, I looked around at the other teams. The makeup and costumes were interesting. Some are a bit more questionable than others, but creative and admirably disturbing, nonetheless. 

“Good luck,” Gomez mouthed with a wink and genuine grin. 

I offer him a nod and turn back to Larissa who sat behind me.

“Are you ready?” She smiled.

I nod, “Are you?”

“Excited, no less.” Larissa giggled, playfully rocking her shoulders as a bit of a dance.

All was well and going steadily at the beginning of the race. We were able to avoid any attacks or conflict from the other teams, ahead of everyone else. However, Morticia and I began to argue about how we were going to execute our win.

“It’ll be faster if we steer right, Morticia!”

“No, it’s better if we go left!” 

Larissa begged us to find the middle ground. The others couldn’t find the courage to intervene, only following whatever contradicting orders we threw at them. 

“Oh, dear,” Larissa sighed.

Before our bickering could get any more ‘violent’, there was a push against our canoe from underwater. A siren from Mammon Hall.

I groan at the only given solution to the problem. Taking off my cat ears and putting down my oar.

“Aria, what are you doing?” Morticia yelped, trying not to get wet from the waves.

Without a word, I jump into the water and morph into my siren form. My suit absorbs into my skin, now half covered by blue and white scales, legs transformed into my tail. Don’t ask me about the knowledge behind the clothes and skin in changing forms, there’s little to no information found on it. I’m guessing, in some way, it’s similar to shape-shifting.

Now underwater, I grab Christopher’s tale and pull him away from the canoe, punching him in the face. From his expression, he was afraid and didn’t dare to fight back. Instead, he quickly swam away to another one of the canoes. 

I swam to the surface and turn back into my human form. My hair was now drenched over the suit and my whiskers washed away. The girls stop rowing, their mouths left agape and silent looks of awe all around. 

I climb back onto the canoe and pick up my oar, “Come on, now.”

We all begin to row again and get back in front of the other teams. 

Arriving at the dock of Raven Island, Morticia hurriedly makes her way out of the canoe. She runs to get our flag at Crackstone’s crypt. Aisha joins her as a watch-out for any sabotages or attacks.

When the Icarus boys arrived, all members left their canoes. A stupid move.

Larissa offers a smirk before she jumps out and runs toward the forest. Subsequently, she comes back with another, very familiar, perky blonde. 

“Lillian?” Carina inquired from behind me.

“Hello, hello,” Lillian greeted with a troublesome grin on her face, “I’m only appearing to be a helping hand.”

Larissa and Lillian giggled as they went toward Icarus Hall’s canoe. Lillian spiked up her claws and teared up the bottom of the kayak. The blondes fist bump each other and bid joyous farewells, Lillian waving goodbye before she disappears into the woods. 

“Was that your idea?” I questioned the proud shapeshifter as she trotted back to us.

“Maybe,” She cooed.

I offer her my hand to help her step back into the canoe. She happily took it, and with her impeccable timing, Morticia finally returned.

“We got it, We got it, We got it!” She cheered with the flag in her and Aisha’s hands.

Quick to recuperate and make our way back to the finish line, we hear the faint groans and whines from the Icarus boys. However, a slight chuckle from Gomez stood out from everyone else. I knew that Larissa was wearing a satisfied and proud grin behind me. 

Somehow, the girls from Lee Hall caught up beside us. In an attempt to get ahead, spikes came out from the bottom of their kayak. To make things seem more difficult, one of the gorgons stoned Aisha. 

“Damnit,” Morticia grumbled under her breath.

“It’s okay,” I whisper beside her ear before telekinetically moving the Lee girl’s canoe.

Was it my intention to tip them over entirely? No...

Absolutely, yes it was.

Larissa, Morticia, and Carina couldn’t help the laughs that they let out as we continued to row up the lake. Even from afar, the hurrays and applause from the other students and staff could be heard. Ms. Caddel’s cheering grew even louder as we neared the dock.

“Those are my girls! Go, Ophelia Hall! Woo!” 

There’s no reason to, however, we all hurry to get out of the canoe and through the finish line. Others from our hall insisted on taking care of Aisha. Passing through the ribbon, the girls all gather into a group hug. Morticia not missing to tug me toward them. 

I wasn’t the fondest of the entire thing, but Lord knows how much I love to win.

After the proper handing off of the trophy to Ophelia Hall, the girls and I sit with the others and enjoyed the desserts and meal left just for us. They’re all radiating with triumph and glee. It’s a little overwhelming, the loudness, the laughter, the confusing mix of smells, the unwanted nudges and squeezes from those around me. The moment was sweet, but I needed a break. At least for a moment.

So, I stealthily walked away from the crowd and sat on Poe’s statue. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, sulking in the hushed noises and lack of touching. The fresh air was astonishingly comforting, leaning against the statue with my head tilted up.

Upon hearing footsteps, I pick my head up and open my eyes. Surprisingly, it was Gomez who came up. 

“Hi,” He smiled, sitting on the ground in front of me.

“What is it, Gomez?”

“Oh, nothing. I just noticed that you were missing from the group. Larissa and the girls were wondering where you were as well. Plus, I wanted to congratulate you all, and I couldn’t pass from congratulating one of the captains! I loved how you used your siren powers to beat up Chris and you tipped over Lee Hall! Oh, and having one of the werewolves sabotage our boat? Coolest things ever!” 

Gomez was so happy and his eyes shined with admiration. He looked like a child talking to his hero. It was adorable, but I held my stoic expression.

“I’m glad you enjoyed the show.”

All he offered was a weak smile.

“Are you alright, Gomez?” 

“Eh, I’m just tired,” He muttered, followed by a chuckle and rubbing the nape of his neck.

“Did you really come looking for me or did you try to find a place to run from the party and just happened to find me at the place you wished to stay at?” I question, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms against my chest.

“Uhm,” His head began to hang low, “Both.”

His tone seemed a bit hesitant and guilty. I lend him some mercy and offer a small smile.

“It’s okay, Gomez. If you wish for me to, I’ll leave and return to the quad.”

“No, no! If you’re alright with it, I’m absolutely fine with staying here with you. Happy to!” He insisted eagerly.

“Alright then.”

We stayed there, together in silence for a few minutes. At some point, I allowed him to rest his head on my knee. He was exhausted and his eyes called him out. That was the only reason as to why I let it slide. I know how terrible it is being around obnoxious slobs and those stupid, prideful boys he hung around weren’t an exception.

He fell asleep for a bit, and he snored a little. It was a bit ironic because he always bragged to us about being the only one who doesn’t snore or sleep talk.

When Gomez woke up, he apologized for falling asleep. I told him it was okay and we decided to go back to the quad.

There were whispers I couldn’t help but hear upon our return. 

“Are they together?”

[theinquisitxor]

December 2022 Reading Wrap Up

I read 8 books in December and 1 DNF. This was also a really good reading month, and I feel like 2022 in general was one of the best reading years for me since 2019 maybe. I'm looking forward to 2023, because I think I have even better books on my tbr!

1.Return of the Thief (Queen's Thief 6) by Meghan Whalen Turner, 5/5 stars. This is the last book of the qt series, and I was very satisfied with this conclusion and this book was everything I wanted it to be. I'm very glad I read this series, and it has been a defining series of 2022 for me. YA fantasy.

2.Moon Witch, Spider King (Dark Star Trilogy 2) by Marlon James 3/5 stars. This is the second book to MJ's African high fantasy series. This was enjoyable, but these books are tough to rate. I enjoyed the more female centered perspective on this one. Adult, African inspired fantasy.

3.Forging Silver into Stars by Brigid Kemmerer 5/5 stars. This is the first book in a spin-off series by Kemmerer from her ACSDAL series. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and the romance (mlm) was super adorable and had more good disability rep. young adult high fantasy

The Magicians by Lev Grossman (DNF). I had a physical copy of this, and decided to see what it was about. I dnf'd at about 20%

4.One Dark Window by Rachel Gillig 3/5 stars. I was a tad bit disappointed in this one. I was hoping for more of Margaret Rogerson's Vespertine but got more of Hannah Whitten's For the Wolf instead. This would have been a better spooky season read. I doubt I will read the sequel. adult high fantasy

5.The Pillars of the Earth (Kingsbridge 1) by Ken Follett 4.5/5 stars. This is a sweeping historical fiction surrounding the fictional English town of Kingsbridge trying to build a cathedral in the 12th century. I deeply enjoyed this one. Warning for a strong male-gaze/perspective and graphic r*pe scenes. Historical Fiction

6.Moira's Pen (Queen's Thief Collection) by Meghan Whalen Turner 3/5 stars. This is a collection of short stories, drabbles, illustrations, and even a recipe. It was enjoyable to read some behind the scenes stuff, and to get glimpses into the future after the 6th book, but I found several things frustrating and disappointing. It raised more questions than it answered. ya fantasy.

7.Beneath the Sugar Sky (Wayward Children 3) by Seanan McGuire, 4/5 stars. Wayward Children is a series I desperately need to catch up on, and I just discovered my one library card has them all on audio. I really enjoyed the audiobook narrator. I thought this one was a fun quest/adventure story with our main cast of characters. Fantasy

8.What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher 3.5/5 stars. The Fall of the House of Usher is my favorite Poe short story, and I was excited for this one. I enjoyed this queer novella, with an even creepier twist to the classic story. Horror.

January reading goals:

Keep listening to the Wayward Children series on audio

Reread (on audio) the Folk of the Air in anticipation for The Lost Heir

Reread Ninth House and read Hell Bent

Emily Wildes Encyclopedia of Faeries

Sofi and the Bone Song

The Shadow of the Wind

Next Kingsbridge novel?