#and also making engagement posts on tumblr instead of studying for finals!!

[recordmcqueen]

Its been a hot minute since i was actually active on here lol i miss yall pls hit up my inbox and send anything u wanted to tell me before 2022 ends or idk anything goes lol whats up with yall

[shinesurge]

in a fit of minor despair i blazed TWO (2) comic posts, and by chance a very kind reader ALSO blazed a completely different post the next day. Some insights from the new dashboard (assuming they're accurate lmfao), in case it helps anybody:

The major takeaway here is, as much as we all hate booktok ads and despite what people insist, nobody actually wants a real synopsis of your thing, they want zero-context clickbait.

All three of these were for 2500 views, mine were both targeted towards identical tag audiences and the Kind Follower's was ALSO for 2500 but they chose some different (still applicable) tags.

The pinned post, with some actual comic pages, the elevator pitch, and some basic info about the comic gained around 37 engagements, including 6 reblogs. Worth noting that I formatted this post specifically to be clear and painlessly sharable, it doesn't stretch the page or have clickable links and has all the info about the thing right out front, the sort of thing I respond to.

The softer world edit I originally made because I like making them, with no intention of using it for advertising and which includes zero context for the characters, also no links, got 80 engagements, 6 reblogs and one new follower.

And finally, the follower's blazed post was an actual comic update that differed from the usual for Reasons; instead of a real comic panel it ALSO had a softer world edit attached. None of the text was formatted well for an ad at all, just being the usual links to the comic's website. It gained 36 engagements overall, with 4 reblogs.

And no matter WHAT the post looks like: nobody clicks links.

I'll also mention that pinned post has been there since February, and before I blazed it it had gained around 175 notes in five months. A lot of my static character posts will get 70 or 80 notes without me tagging or trying or really doing anything to promote them, because. They're not meant to be used like that lol

Granted: tumblr as a website is a mess, these numbers could be wildly inaccurate, this is not a super scientific study, but Man.

Personally, I do not respond to this sort of clickbaity booktok shit very well when it's INTENDED for advertising, specifically because I feel like it disrespects the audience and, worse, imitates genuine art to exploit peoples' genuine feelings. It feels VERY close to those covert influencer ads, it honestly makes me kinda sick. But I have talked about this phenomenon before, and the numbers here do back it up. I do think there's some nuance here, but it would take a whole other post to get into it I think.

And I mean, when I make stuff about my own comic it IS always genuine. The audience for "fanwork" I make of my own stuff is extremely small (mostly Me) so it's not like it would be lucrative to crank out a ton of random fake fandom posts; they're not any less earnest if I use them for ads now and then. So I dunno, I guess it's not EXACTLY the same as those gross publisher ads pretending to be teen girls, but it's irritating to be here. I know what I'm looking for wrt ads and getting into new things and I try to treat others the same way. It would be cool to get some traction while treating my audience like Real People, but clearly that route doesn't work seeing as my comic career now has a very real expiration date lmfao. Get out there and make some memes I guess?

[alexhwriting]

Bloodborne: A Study of Environmental Narratives and Ludonarrative Harmony.

So I am finally adding more to this blog, beginning with the Bloodborne paper that I wrote following the streams that I did of the game last fall. Because of the sizes of these projects I'll be posting them in sections, just so I'm not battling Tumblr's word limit. I'll do my master's thesis this way next.

I. Introduction

Early scholarship in Video Game Studies wrestled with the very nature of games themselves: were they more narrative or ludic in nature? In his 2004 article “Game Design as Narrative Architecture,” Henry Jenkins suggests that the field of video game studies would benefit from a third element in the discussion of games, spatiality.[1] He claims that spatiality is something that has drawn people to stories since the time of questing myths, and that the spatial game, one in which space is utilized as part of the game experience, is an extension of this engaging mode.[2] Jenkins compares these in-game environments to amusement park rides, in that they replicate the atmosphere of the story.[3] For example, replicating the sounds and objects from a particular story, such as Pirates of the Caribbean or Star Wars to immerse and engage the player in what’s going on around them.[4] An example of this kind of spatiality can be seen in the game Bloodborne (2015), in the way that the game relies on exploration of the in-game environments for the character to engage with the game mechanics (which consists of fighting enemies).

Amy Green argues that the backbone of the gaming experience, which distinguishes it from the amusement park attraction, is an interactive component: agency.[5] Agency is a ludic component of the game: the player interacts with the story unfolding around them as an active participant in that story. Without consistent and active input from the player of a game, the narrative and game cannot progress. For Green, this agency also affects the space of the game and makes it, as she calls it, negotiated space.[6] By negotiated space, she explains that the story is not yet set completely in-stone, and the player retains some control of the meaning expressed by the experience.[7] If a book is the set-in-stone narrative, then video games are mostly finished books where the player can add in their own actions into their text as they play, akin to a Mad Libs story (though not necessarily comedic in intention).

Marie-Laure Ryan, speaking more generally about the experience of finding oneself invested in any story world, game or otherwise, discusses the way that space is reliant on narrative to elevate it from space to place.[8] By this, Ryan means that stories give the space of a story its meaning and therefore its status as a recognizable place instead of just a non-descript area where action occurs. For example, a city street is just a city street, but Time Square in New York City is a place because of the stories and impact that the particular place has. This idea of narrative making spaces important will become important as we see the intertwining of narrative and location throughout this paper.

Over the course of this paper, I will argue for the use of the phrase ludonarrative harmony, a term I use to indicate the successful blending of story and action to create an immersive experience for the player that goes beyond the ludic and narrative dichotomy. To illustrate this, I will be using Bloodborne, developed by FromSoftware in 2015, as an example of ludonarrative harmony, which occurs when a game’s story and mechanics both act together to strengthen the immersion for the player. As the player explores the game world at the behest of strange notes, is frequently rewarded with gruesome revelations about the world, and their character takes mechanical damage from the act of progression, the combination of ludonarrative harmony, and environmental storytelling comes to the fore. It is these elements that allow a game to create an immersive experience for the player, rather than just the ludic or narrative elements.

[1] Jenkins, “Game Design as Narrative Architecture.” 121.

[2] Jenkins, 122.

[3] Jenkins, 124.

[4] Jenkins, 124.

[5] Green, Storytelling in Video Games. 36-37.

[6] Green, 37.

[7] Green, 37.

[8] Ryan, Narrative as Virtual Reality 2. 86.

[velvetvexations]

Hello! Hope your day is going well ^^

I remember reading this ask you answered (I think it was the "how come i" anon) and your response + your general attitude re: trans intracommunity discourse really resonated with me

I might be a trans man but long before that I was an artist and I specifically came back to Tumblr because I was having a hard time making my art on twitter after a certain someone took over - _ - (and of course, the rampant transphobia), only to find out that a small but vocal minority of queer folk here insist that I'm privileged for... [checking notes] having he/him pronouns and identifying as a man, despite being pre-T, and facing all sorts of transphobia, misogyny and transandrophobia (mostly from my parents, I'm lucky to go to a uni that's accepting of trans and genderqueer people)

I tried speaking up for us, but all it did was turn me into an unhealthy, paranoid mess, constantly checking my phone instead of focusing on things that mattered like my study, art, and relationships w my friends and my fiance, and I deleted that side blog after a few days.

I know you said it's fine to vent in your inbox but I still wanna keep it short - I still feel like.. I'm betraying the cause, or whatever because I don't actively make posts on transandrophobia on Tumblr, despite being 100% behind the term as another facet of transphobia - purely based off of my own lived experiences.

Anyway, I'm slowly transitioning (heh) my blog into something less "trans man with an art blog" and more "artist that happens to be a trans man", and I feel... right, despite the aforementioned guilt, because there's so many stories I want to tell, so many scenes I wanna capture with my stylus. I don't believe in vocations in the spiritual sense, but art feels like home to me, and I wonder if that's the same case for you with your writing.

And finally, I'm sure you've heard this plenty of times, but thank you for standing in our corner, despite getting so much shit from other blogs (this also goes for starryjoy and other transfems and trans women that have supported us transmascs + men! Thank you all so much <3)

Your fellow artist,

🖋️

(P.S. I was considering using a paintbrush but I like the fountain pen emoji more lol)

It's always my pleasure to help, anon. <3 You don't have an obligation to engage with discourse. Do what's best for your sanity and maybe see how you might be able to help out causes here or there that don't cause you anxiety or takes more from you than you can give. I had the same guilt not being able to engage with most issues (me even mentioning potential consequences of the election earlier should be taken as a sign of how angry I was when I made that post) but I was able to find a niche I can operate in. Even if you can't do that much or don't have money to donate, even just supporting your friends and the people around you adds a lot to the world.

I do feel that way about my writing, also. i have so many characters, so many scenes, so many themes, arcs, stories, it drives me crazy sometimes. I really hope eventually Velvet Nation will get to read them.

[artleaguemdcnorth]

MUSEUM DAY- ALL CLASSES - Weds & Thursday - (3/13 & 3/14/ 2024)

READ THE ENTIRE POST

Students will use class time this week to attend the museum.

I highly recommend the MoCA exhibit in North Miami. The exhibit is very compatible with all three classes.

3D will choose to attend MoCA instead of the Lowe.

Unless otherwise stated, you need to attend the spaces in person.

Note: I gave verbal permission to a few students to attend a virtual museum.

Only those students that spoke to me will be allowed to do it virtually.

Museum Visit

Students will be visiting either of the following museums :

MOCA in North Miami or

LOWE Museum at UM

When you visit the space make sure to bring with you the following:

1) sketchbook

2) pencil

3) Student ID

You will begin your museum experience by taking a selfie of yourself from inside the venue as you begin your activity and posting it on your threads handle.

**( For those students doing the virtual format, you will take photo of yourself next to the laptop or computer.)

During your museum visit try to look for several paintings or artworks that catch your interest.

Take notes regarding what it is that you enjoy about the artwork.

Is it the composition and if so describe it in a few words ?

The way the materials are used, mention which materials?

Is it the way the elements or principles are organized, color, texture, the way it is balanced, how emphasis is created?

Are you connected to the message of the work, content, explain your answer ?

Finally, find a work or works you like and do several sketches .

Make notes regarding the composition, horizon, proportion , color scheme. Write the name of the artist and name of the artwork in your notes.

Figure Drawing :

Analyze paintings with figures . Create a drawing in your sketchbook using various figures.

Drawing:

Look at how art creates visual narratives, stories. Create a drawing inspired by this visit.

3D (MoCA) :

Pay attention at the power of structures and sculptures to engage audience, the materials and presentation. Create studies for future project (final Assignment might be inspired by this visit.)

Finally, close your museum experience by taking an exit selfie and posting it to your threads.

NOTE:

MAKE SURE YOU TAKE YOUR STUDENT ID FOR STUDENT DISCOUNTS.

ALL PRELIMINARY SKETCHES PRODUCED at the museum and your notes from the visit MUST BE SUBMITTED TO YOUR TUMBLR PORTFOLIO BY END OF DAY on SUN 3/17/ 2024 by 5pm

One last thing, have fun , museums are the churches of the artist go and enjoy yourself!!

See below the links for each museum with information for addresses and phone numbers.

IN PERSON MUSEUMS:

MoCA

Lowe at UM

VIRTUAL MUSEUM -

Van Gogh

Guggenheim NY

LASTLY, students who have been absent, late, not turned in midterm on time, have unfinished midterms, or are in need of an extra credit component, will receive extra credit if they attend in person.

If you decide the virtual component, you will only get credit for attendance in class for today or tomorrow.

If a student wants the extra credit then you need to do this assignment in person.

Also, you can choose to go on Saturday or Sunday (if they are open ) to the venue so that you may have more time to enjoy it. Take a family member or a friend.

Just get the assignment done by end of this week.

Look at the websites to see weekend hours.

[patriciavetinari]

Not saying anything new here, but liberals not seeing any other option for changing the government other than voting and calling representatives and, best case scenario, mass protesting is astounding.

The whole thing of voting for 99% Hitler vs 100% Hitler, or voting Hitler vs Mussolini and framing the entire thing 'if you don't vote blue it will also get bad for ME!!' which makes me think only of that tweet 'when things are not about me'.

And then when blogs more eloquent than me call their bullshit, they flood the notes with accusatory 'what ARE we supposed to do then??? WHO are we supposed to vote then?? Third party?? You, foreigner, tell us how to fix out country by doing something one day once in 4 years!!!'

And my favorite bit is 'so when does the revolution come??' which betrays their whole game of sitting down and waiting until a fitting Hero will pull a sword out of the stone and organize enough people to rise up. They fantasize that then it will be clear, like in a fucking star wars movie, who the goodies and the baddies are and they can finally join as a commune project manager and pat themselves on the back for having chosen the right side of history, only when it becomes childrens storybook simple to choose.

'What are we supposed to do then???' Study past revolutions and organize. Your goal is to destroy the government that you claim you understand is shitty. How many people do you realistically need for that? Hundred? Thousand? Hundred thousand? Yeah, find them then. Right now. The best time was ten years ago. Second best time is now. Organize for fucks sake. Take the fucking initiative and work on establishing a strong community with means and weapons and skills and morale to actually go through with something meaningful.

'But that's illegal??' - be gay, do crimes - so was that just a meme?

'But I might get arrested?' Yes. Support network helps with that.

'But I'm disabled/neurodivergent?' Find a way to help. If you have Internet to post on tumblr, you have Internet to organize a network of like minded people.

'But those people disagree with me on xyz and if 'queer' is slur? Also they're annoying dickheads?' Yes. You're going to have to organize with the people you might not like. You don't have to be friends or share every pinpoint opinion on everything ever.

'But I have a family to think of? And my cat?' Didn't you want to vote to make lives for your loved ones better? So do this instead for their sake. Do it for them. A small meaningfully engaged community will do more for your loved ones than a politician who doesn't know you exist and will not be pushed left.

'But I will be put on a radar, I will be labeled a terrorist!!' Yes you will be. Just like people you claim to be concerned for are. Deal. Support network helps with that.

'But I might get killed?!?!?!'

If you're willing to vote to support a genocide of other people in the name of love for your country, why are you personally not willing to die for the same cause?

[fallen-in-dreams]

Rumours

Also on AO3. Pairing: Gaara/Sakura. Summary: Sakura overhears a spicy rumour about her relationship with Gaara and their friendship will never be the same again. GaaSaku. Canonish. Prompt: Week 1: Dating. Rated: T. Words: 4,433. Status: Complete.

Author note: My first of the weekly prompts for the tumblr GaaSaku Events. *Cross your fingers that I can do all of the ones I'm trying to finish.* Enjoy. ^_^

Warnings/tags: Just some mild angst and mentions of ShikaTema.

This is for the 2021 GaaSaku Event @gaasaku-fanfests​. I seem to be posting for events late or barely on time this year. Sorry. :)

.

  .:.

“Sometimes your heart sees what your eyes can’t.”

.

  It was supposed to be just another harmless outing. Sakura often took Gaara with her when she went shopping for presents. He was so hopeless at remembering birthdays and holidays like Christmas that she was doing him a favour by dragging him around with her.

And picking out gifts from both of them.

She hadn’t really thought there was anything wrong with that. Or that anyone would read more into it than it really was. Of course, the Kazekage spending time with a foreign kunoichi would get everyone’s attention, but like all exciting new things it would get old, and they’d soon move onto other things.

This was why, all these months on from their first public shopping outing, Sakura was still brushing off the curious glances as she pulled Gaara along, by the sleeve of his work robes. Twelve months she’d been in Suna. Six were spent aiding in a joint training of medical personnel as a part of a healing exchange program to further relations, and then eight weeks as the head of the hospital because Gaara was adamant nobody was doing it better. The last four months had been her lazy months, which consisted of her usual physical training regimen but also acting like a tourist and dragging Gaara along for the ride. So just what she’d been doing before, minus the teaching and hospital visits. Sakura had already achieved what she’d set out to do in this mission, but it hadn’t even crossed her mind to cut her time here short.

And she was finally used to being a constant source of scrutiny for the people of Wind. So here she was, for the second time this week, dragging Gaara out of his office on the rare occasion that he didn’t have either a shit load of paperwork or overdue training of his own to do.

The retailer looked up at them as they stepped into her shop, then smiled and bowed lightly.

“Welcome, Lord Kazekage. Haruno-san.”

“Kitana-san,” Sakura addressed her quickly before tugging on Gaara. He obediently followed and as usual, she did not notice the knowing smile of the elderly woman as she led the redhead around. Her eyes perused the rows of trinkets instead. They were supposed to be getting an engagement present for Temari and Shikamaru. It had been three weeks since the date for their party had been announced and nothing seemed to be good enough.

“Maybe we should get them each a present,” she thought out loud. “What do you think, Gaara?”

His eyes widened slightly. “One from each of us?”

“No, I mean one each from both of us.” He still looked confused. “A total of two presents,” she added, and he nodded. She didn’t remark on how he had stiffened and then relaxed at her words. Gaara was just weird like that.

“Ino got them a weird sex toy,” she said, rubbing her cheek with her finger as Gaara’s face turned pink. “Uh, and I think Hinata said she wanted to get her some wind scrolls.” Her friends’ letters had been all over the place. Everyone was excited that Temari and Shikamaru had finally gotten official and were moving their relationship forward.

“I…uh.” He crossed his arms over his chest, which was actually more of a nervous habit for him these days. “Well… we can do better.”

She giggled and locked arms with him. “Of course. I was thinking,” she said as they moved through the shop slowly. “Temari’s always gotta pretend to be this tough, warrior woman. But I’ve smelled the candles coming from her room. I was thinking of bath salts, but it isn’t a good gift for Shikamaru. But that was before this whole individual gift idea.”

Gaara thought that Shikamaru could use a decent salt bath. They could use it together. The idea of it made him blush and he pointedly avoided eye contact with Sakura as she babbled on about clothes accessories. Apparently, Shikamaru had once confessed to her that he thought belts were interesting.

“Maybe bath salts and candles.” Gaara said, interrupted her gushing about the embroidery on a handmade belt. “His & Hers style.”

Sakura squeezed his arm affectionately. “Brilliant idea.”

She pulled him along gently, not needing to tug too hard because he was fine with following her lead. This shop was mostly popular among young women and older couples. Their wares ranged from scented candles to antique dolls and handmade clothes.

“What do you think about this one?” Sakura asked, taking a strange bust off a shelf. Maybe his mind just went to stationery too quickly, but it just looked like an oversized paper weight to him.

“No good?” She asked when Gaara didn’t respond. He sighed and she tossed it aside. “Okay, next odd little smelly thing.”

He let out a light chuckle at that. Gaara pointed out a few more ideas and they half-heartedly argued over them. They picked up a few bath salts anyway, since Sakura was interested in some for herself, before leaving the story without a present for his sister and future brother-in-law.

“We’ll just have to keep looking,” Sakura said, nodding to herself as they made their way through the crowds of the downtown market. She was oblivious to the interested stares and giggling children.

Truth be told, Gaara was fine with letting Sakura make the decision for him. He hadn’t had to worry about choosing gifts for almost a year and he was happy with that. Growing up with no childhood had ensured he had little experience in the matter, but she was a good teacher when it came to social situations.

They agreed their last chance for a good gift would be the ninja resource store on the edge of the market. Such a place would normally not be in the civilian district, but the proprietors were very good at preventing civilians from buying shinobi utensils. Gaara bought an ornate spear from them two years ago that had been imported from the Land of Iron. He’d started collecting special weapons and suggested to Sakura that they have something ordered in.

It would solve the problem and save time. Not that he wasn’t enjoying himself. Gaara looked forward to these outings more than he was willing to admit out loud.

“Geez.” She hip-butted him. “You’re full of great suggestions today.”

Sakura watched as he blushed and mumbled about looking for something for himself in the shop and as he wandered away, this gave her the perfect time to sneak away. She knew full well he was collecting unique weapons and had one in mind for him. It wasn’t a gift for any special occasion, and she didn’t bother guying things for his siblings unless it was for something in particular, but Sakura couldn’t help herself with Gaara. Her friendship with him was on another level compared with Kankuro and Temari.

When it came to birthdays, Christmas, or just her wanting him to have something special, she’d long ago stopped agonising over the “what does one even buy a kage who doesn’t seem to want anything?” question. Personal gifts that showed she knew him were always well-received. He still had the katana shaped candlestick ornament that she’d bought him for his birthday, sitting in his study. Temari said he never lit it up, which to anyone who knew him, meant he loved it. It would never get used and therefore last.

Sakura kept one eye on where Gaara was in the shop at all times, and the other on the aisle of antique weapons as she perused. That was how she ended up standing in an aisle listening to two gossiping kunoichi. She’d just been minding her own business, looking over a row of ornamental kunai, when the voices carried over to her from the other side of the shelf she was leaning toward.

When she heard her own name being uttered, Sakura peered through the gaps in the shelf. They were a couple of chunin and either had below average sensory skills and didn’t notice her or didn’t care that she was eavesdropping. Sakura didn’t recognise them, so they definitely weren’t a part of the medical units she’d trained, nor did they frequent the hospital. They were also both staring off in the direction that Sakura knew Gaara to be.

The blonde giggled. "Lord Kazekage dotes on Sakura-san, it’s so cute! They just have to be dating!"

The brunette nodded. “Of course. But why haven’t they announced it?”

“Because they’re shy, silly.”

“Yeah right.”

“I’m serious. Minamo said everyone’s talking about it.”

“He’s probably still innocent I bet.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. It was so weird to hear people claiming she had a romantic relationship with Gaara while discussing whether or not he had sexual experience. But it was just a couple of awe struck chunin (and the claim of some random friend of theirs). She decided to turn away but stilled at the next line out of the blonde’s mouth.

“Maybe Sakura-san took his v-card,” the girl snickered, much to the appreciation of the other chunin. “Can you just imagine?”

Sakura flushed from head to toe, struggling to hold her composure. She didn’t want to imagine that. Her heart might just explode. Sure, Gaara was… attractive. But would she have sex with him? He was her friend. They’d never been anything other than friends.

Not that I would want more, she told herself, holding a hand to her chest.

“I bet he’d be a tender lover,” the other girl said, sighing deeply. “Haruno-san is so lucky.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” the blonde said, a devious look on her face. “I think Lord Gaara’s hit the jackpot too. Sakura-san has all that medical knowledge about the body. Imagine what she could do with it.”

“Like what?”

“Get his blood pumping. Warm him up. You know,” the blonde waggled her eyebrows and they both giggled. “She’d have him hard in no time!”

They giggled again and the brunette snorted before covering her mouth, mortified at herself.

Sakura stood there like a stunned mullet as they turned away from watching Gaara and started giggling and whispering among themselves. What the hell had she just heard?

“Sakura.”

She spun on the spot, startled. She hadn’t noticed his approaching chakra, engrossed in the conversation she was overhearing. Sakura turned beet red. He looked concerned when she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. When he made to move toward her, Sakura went into panic mode, charging at him and grabbing his arm. She ushered Gaara away, hoping he hadn’t heard any of that conversation. Knowing him, he wouldn’t even realise what they were talking about.

Gaara leaned in to whisper in her ear, “I found something special for you” and Sakura let out an involuntary sound she’d never heard before.

“Are you okay?”

Am I okay?

Two random chunin had just inserted mental images of her having sex with Gaara into her head. She was not okay. But she nodded anyway, not wanting to explain why her heart was now thumping. Blood rushing to her head. His hand fell to the small of her back. The warmth of his touch had never been more prominent than it was right now as he added a slight pressure to steer her toward the front counter. He wasn’t pushing her. Gaara never pushed her. He was always kind to her. It was so stimulating when he did that.

Feelings she’d kept buried for almost twelve months started bubbling to the surface and Sakura wasn’t prepared for the onslaught. How could she have forgotten this? Suddenly, she remembered the first time his touch had affected her. They’d known each other for years and two weeks into her long-term mission to Suna, she’d been lonely and exhausted when quite suddenly, Sakura realised those warm and fuzzies she’d been feeling were directed at a certain Kazekage. Her twenty-first birthday had come and gone, and she didn’t have any life goals other than revolutionising the medical world. It was a great goal. Professionally.

But after an innocent comment from Hinata about her love life, her birthday had gone from celebrations of “I have my whole life ahead of me” to morose “I’m going to die alone” thoughts, which were reflected in her spending the rest of the night drunk and being shadowed by Ino who was worried she might bring down a building or two, in her destructive angst.

Gaara continued to watch her as she worked through her mental problems but said nothing. He didn’t need to tell her he was concerned. It was written all over his face. It was just another thing she loved about him.

“Let me take you home,” he said. That deep voice of his made her shiver. Sakura felt her body flush again when she heard giggling behind her. (Were those girls following them now?) There was no way they hadn’t heard that.

After a few moments, he started rubbing her back in what he obviously thought was a soothing manner and she blinked heavily at him. Right. She needed to get out of here.

She cleared her throat. “Sure,” she said, her voice a little strained. Out of habit, she wrapped her arm around his. He was a lifeline as she tried to sort out her dysfunctional thoughts. The chunin girls’ conversation had opened a can of worms and she didn’t know how to put them back in.

Sakura glanced backwards in time to catch the women whispering behind their hands and staring at her and Gaara unabashedly. When had her outings with Gaara started such salacious rumours?

And more importantly: why did these people think they were dating?

  .:.

  “Gimme a screaming orgasm!”

Kankuro took the seat next to Sakura as she made her order to the bartender and chuckled.

“You might want to tone that drink down a little,” Kankuro said with a wink. “Gaara might get jealous.”

“Ugh!” Sakura groaned. “Not you too!”

“Whatever do you mean?”

She pointed a finger at him. “You all are talking about me behind my back. Starting rumours and talking about my sex.”

Kankuro snorted. “Your what?”

“I’m a joke, Kankuro-chan.”

“Please don’t call me that.” He grimaced.

She sighed. “What are you doing here?”

Kankuro waved a hand at the bartender. “Another screaming orgasm, please.”

Sakura snorted. “You’re getting more than I am, then.”

He chuckled. “Never delved into the local cuisine since you got here?”

Well, there was this one guy she danced and flirted with the first weekend after she started this mission, but her burgeoning feelings for the Kazekage wouldn’t let her do anything more. She wasn’t a slut and she appreciated that Gaara wasn’t one of those guys that slept around and used their testosterone to excuse it, either. So, she’d been able to settle into routine with him. Friends who gravitated toward each other. Friends who had dinner with each other (alone) quite often. Friends who decided important decisions together instead of alone. Friends who rarely had eyes for anyone else. Friends who didn’t have lives outside of each other...

She groaned and dropped her head on the bar. The awareness of her situation was painful. She wished she could go back to being oblivious. Because it was clear now that Sakura had been accidentally dating Gaara for almost twelve months. Did he know? Or was he as oblivious as her? Everyone had noticed apparently, according to two chunin and their friend. Did Kankuro and Temari know.

“I’m secretly but not secretly dating Gaara,” she mumbled. “And I didn’t know.”

Apparently, even though her face was pressed into the bar, Kankuro had heard her.

“I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret.”

Sakura groaned again. “We’re not dating!”

“Uh-huh.” He clearly didn’t believe her. “Going back and forth then. You’re in denial.”

“Why are you here?” He didn’t respond and Sakura lifted her head up slowly. “Kankuro?”

“He’s lonely,” he said, staring into his drink thoughtfully. “I know everyone thinks Gaara’s put together and doesn’t need anything more in life than family and friends. But I know that under that oblivious and calm exterior that he’s a romantic at heart. He wants what you two have. But he just doesn’t know how to go about getting it.”

She frowned at him. His seriousness was giving her a bad feeling. Everything had come together so quickly, and she wasn’t even sure what to do with her feelings yet, let alone whatever Gaara might be feeling.

“He’s a bit clueless.”

That was an understatement. Sakura used to think he wasn’t clueless, since he often said things with such confidence that she believed he was more aware than he let on. But then moments like that day in the shop with the chunin girls and Gaara seemed completely oblivious to what was going on. She had no idea what to think of him anymore.

It was why she’d been ignoring him. She couldn’t handle the idea that he might actually return her feelings. She was a coward.

Kankuro put his drink down and patted her on the back. “Just… don’t hurt him, okay?”

Right. Easier said than done.

  .:.

  There were many things Gaara was good at. And so many things he sucked at.

He was proficient with multiple types of weapons and political nuances. But in matters of the heart, he found that he still hadn’t learned anything. He had no idea why Sakura was avoiding him and why his siblings were being more careful about how they talk to him. It felt like it had been back when he housed Shukaku and went on rampages.

The knock on his door startled him and Gaara debated ignoring that chakra signature out of spite but gave in and called her in.

“Gaara?”

He looked up and the slight drop in her smile told him that she’d seen the hurt in his eyes. She’d been avoiding him, and they both knew it.

“I need to tell you something.”

Gaara swallowed heavily and braced himself. Her contract in Suna had only a few weeks left but since the particulars of the mission had already been fulfilled, she was free to leave at any time, if she wanted to. This made his hear race. More than anything he didn’t want her to go. He enjoyed her company and valued her friendship. What he truly wanted from her was more than that and it had taken him months of going along with her intrusion into his life for him to realise what that “more than that” meant for him.

Gaara wanted to date her. He wanted to be doing all the things with her that Temari did with Shikamaru and that Kankuro was currently trying to do with Matsuri. And for that to happen, she had to stay in Suna.

Temari and Shikamaru are dating and he’s still living in Konoha, he begrudgingly reminded himself.

But he didn’t care.

Gaara sat back in his office chair as Sakura closed the door behind herself and shuffled her feet, twiddling her thumbs. She was nervous. And worried about his reaction. He attempted to smile and shift his body language to put her at ease. It seemed to work and before he knew it, she was approaching him with a sad smile and sitting down across the table from him.

“Gaara…”

“Does this have something to do with why you’ve been avoiding me?”

She nodded, biting her bottom lip. “I, uh… found out something. And kind of overreacted to it, got drunk, and took it out on Kankuro.”

Gaara couldn’t help the snort that accompanied a chuckle. “Story of my life.”

She smiled a little wider now. “It does seem easy to do that.”

“Did you hit him?”

“A little. In the training grounds,” she added quickly. “He’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

She went back to twiddling her thumbs.

“You wanted to tell me something.”

Sakura nodded. “There’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just come right out and say it. The whole village thinks we’re dating.” She paused to see his reaction, but he just stared, stone faced at her. “And uh… we kind of have been.”

“All the outings and joint gift giving.” Not to mention how he treated her so preciously in public.

Sakura frowned. There was no question in his voice, just his usual factual tone. He wasn’t surprised. “You knew?”

Slowly, he nodded.

“Why… why didn’t you say anything?”

He blinked heavily and lowered his gaze to the table. Parchments were lined neatly across it as he rarely let them fall out of place. The only matter in his life that Gaara let get messy were his relationships. They were inherently messy, so he had no problem dealing with them as such. Which was why he was so anal about everything else.

“Gaara?”

Gaara didn't seem to want to explain himself.

He didn’t want to deny or confirm that he may or may not be dating the Fifth Hokage's protégé, to the public. He let the rumours spread and did nothing to quell them. Gaara had even played up to them which he’d known was wrong but couldn’t help himself. There was no way that admitting this to Sakura would go well for him. Perhaps he could inform her over time, but right now the realisation of what had been going on was too raw for her.

And she could see his hesitation for what it was. Avoidance of setting the record straight. Sakura frowned. Was it because of appearances? Or something more personal? It could be embarrassment. She knew he’d grown up with little human contact, none of which would’ve prepared him for adult relationships. It left him in the lurch for so many important social interactions.

But why wouldn’t he want to fix this? It would look bad for the village if the Kazekage was pretending to date someone. Especially since she was going home in a few weeks. Her heart clenched at that, and she had to close her eyes to stop herself from losing control. Sakura had only just allowed herself to remember and acknowledge that she’d developed feelings for Gaara months ago, she didn’t want to break down in front of him now.

Why didn’t he tell me?

What was he playing at?

Maybe it was because he liked her? Sakura felt her skin flush at that. No. It was probably pride or indolence. Likely, he didn’t fully understand the ramifications.

“He’s a bit clueless.”

Had Kankuro meant that romantically? Or sexually? Or perhaps socially? She bit her bottom lip as Gaara turned his head away. The skin along his neck was tinged pink and his face looked slightly flushed.

All of the above, then.

Maybe he really was too embarrassed to push back at the rumours. Gossip was a poison though. In order to successfully rebuke it, you had to do so fast. And with the truth, not silence or denial on their own. Sakura knew this from experience back when she was still listening to Ino’s ramblings about Sasuke. This rumour had run its full course and nothing short of a very public breakup would get them out of it.

“Is it…” he started slowly, breaking her out of her thoughts. Gaara looked up to catch her gaze. “Is it really so bad?”

Is the idea of us really so horrible?

She heard that unsaid question loud and clear.

Sakura stood up and circled the table to stand in front of him as he swivelled on his chair to face her. “No.”

Gaara smiled. But it didn’t reach his eyes.

“You want this?” She asked.

This was the moment of truth. He could lie and revert their relationship to the way it was before, except with them being more conscious about not appearing to be a couple. Or he could take a hold of her and ask for the one thing that had been plaguing him for months. He swallowed heavily and she watched the way his Adam’s apple bobbed. Was it weird to be turned on by that?

“Yes,” he said huskily.

Desperately, yes.

She didn’t react for a moment, just scanning his face. He held his breath, waiting. Then Sakura leant forward, closing her eyes as his widened. But he didn’t pull away as she pressed her lips to his gently. His hands went to her hips as she rested hers on the arms of his chair, caging him in.

Gaara deepened the kiss, making her gasp and then plundered her mouth. He’d never done this before, that much was obvious to her. So, she took control, slowing their pace and sucking on his lips gently when he tried to hasten her. Sakura fell into his lap, her hands tugging at his hair as he wrapped his arms around her waist. As she straddled him, she lost herself to the feel of his body beneath hers and Sakura moaned.

The sound broke their reverie and the Kazekage bit her lip. Without pulling out of their kiss, he sent his sand out to lock the door and knocked everything from his desk with no concern for their wellbeing. Fuck caring about that right now.

Sakura grinned into their kiss as he pushed her back onto the table. This had been the right choice after all.

  .:.

  Sometime later, Sakura emerged from the Kazekage's office to find his siblings nearby, like they’d been waiting to find out the result of her talk with Gaara. She knew she needed to reprimand them, but she was too happy right now to care.

Kankuro raised an eyebrow at her. She looked dishevelled. Like someone had snogged the crap out of her. He fought to keep himself from grinning like an idiot.

“Sakura?”

She cleared her throat and stared down at him. “You’ll be interested to know that Gaara is no longer clueless.”

Temari groaned as the Leaf kunoichi sauntered out of hallway. Kankuro waited until Sakura was out of earshot and gave his sister a shit eating grin then stuck his hand out expectantly.

“I won,” he said.

She scoffed. “No, you didn’t.”

“Hey! I said they’d end up dating!”

Temari shook her head and took a sip of her drink to hide her smirk, then said, “you said they’d sleep together within an hour of resolving this. They clearly just made out.”

“Temari!” Kankuro pouted.

“Not paying up,” she sung, before following Sakura’s lead and sauntering off.

He huffed. Siblings were evil.

  .:.

[lordjohngreyreadingnook]

Lord John AU Event Master List

A very special thank you to all of the writers, artists, and readers who helped make the Lord John AU Event a success! All good things must come to an end, and the body of Lord John fanworks has grown immensely during this event.

Because Pan is still a geek, here’s an infographic with some of our stats. 

Below the cut, you’ll find a masterlist of all of the art and fics submitted for the event. Most of the fics can be found in the AO3 Collection, and all titles in the master list below are links to the original work posting (AO3 or Tumblr).

Here’s how we did!

Master List Below!

Art Links

“E-girl Claire and her boyfriend John” by @deanwinchesterangelfucker

“Gender-swapped, established relationship John and Jamie” by @deanwinchesterangelfucker

Fic Links

Title: extra credit Author: @iihappydaysii Rating: E Ship: Brian/John AU Category: High School Word Count: 2,532 Summary:  Brian Randall (Jamie Fraser's gay son, of course) needs to get his grade up in his trig class taught by who other than his father's friend, John Grey.

Title: Die for this Kingdom Author: @mistresspandorawritesthings Rating: M Ship: Jamie/John AU Category: Mob Word Count: 45,255 Summary:  All Jamie “Fortnight” Fraser wants is to provide a good, safe life for his family in Chicago. But with tragedies keeping him tangled in his uncle’s deadly schemes and one tenacious—and handsome—police officer determined to bring him in, Fortnight Fraser has a choice to make. Bend to Dougal’s will… or burn it all to the ground.

Title: Remember Hawaii Author: @mistresspandorawritesthings Rating: E Ship: Hector/John AU Category: Semi-Modern Word Count: 5,119 Summary:  The chances of John Grey unexpectedly seeing Hector Dalrymple in a group of Marines was always small but never zero. In the vastness of the Pacific Ocean, Hawaii is tiny. What are the odds they'd both be there at the same time?

Title: Tasting Sunshine Author: @andhopethatsoon Rating: E Ship: John/Stephan AU Category: Supernatural/Fantasy Word Count: 6,421 Summary:  Every fae and their godmother knows that you DON'T eat the oranges from THOSE trees or you will summon the Summer King who will demand your heart’s desire in return.

Title: At Operator’s Discretion Author: @mistresspandorawritesthings Rating: E Ship: Jamie/John AU Category: Assassins Word Count: 6,210 Summary:  John Grey is an operator specializing in surveillance and termination--that is, spying and murder. He keeps all this a secret from his husband, Alex Malcolm, for Alex's protection. But when a contract comes in for one James Fraser, Grey's life gets all kinds of complicated.

Title: Theatre Masks Author: @faeriesfanficblog Rating: G Ship: Jamie/John AU Category: Modern Word Count: 1,238 Summary:  A modern AU. Jamie Fraser is an autistic playwriter attending a theatre premiere with his husband Lord John Grey.

Title: The Wild Hunt Author: @mistresspandorawritesthings Rating: E Ship: Jamie/John/Tom AU Category: Supernatural/Fantasy Word Count: 8,033 Summary:  The Sorcerer is rumored to be the only being able to influence the Wild Hunt, the same Wild Hunt hell-bent on destroying the world to get to John Grey. But the Sorcerer's aid comes with stipulations.

Title: The Right Tool for the Job Author: @iihappydaysii & @mistresspandorawritesthings Rating: E Ship: Jamie/John AU Category: Modern Word Count: 5,825 Summary:  Jamie makes an embarrassing emergency call after a sexual mishap, and John Grey is the paramedic who shows up to help.

Title: gotta listen when the devil’s calling Author: @narastories Rating: E Ship: BJR/Jamie/John AU Category: Modern Word Count: 6,105 Summary:  John wasn't looking forward to his birthday. Aberdeen was cold and bloody far away. This year they also got a surprise travel companion last minute and John is convinced, it couldn't get any worse. But perhaps, it's not so bad after all.

Title: Off the Only Path I Knew (WIP) Author: @jesuisprest747 Rating: M Ship: Jamie/John AU Category: College/University Word Count: 8,920 Summary: Nothing about University is going as Jamie Fraser planned. He misses his family and friends back home, and the friends he's made at University don't feel quite right. Under pressure from his father, he is studying business instead of his true passion - Classics and Literature. To top it all off, his roommate barely speaks to him. A story about friendship, love, and following your heart.

Title: And Say We’ll Never Part Author: @mistresspandorawritesthings Rating: E Ship: Hector/John AU Category: Semi-Modern Word Count: 6,872 Summary: The war has been over for months, and the Allied forces are slowly demobilizing. With the help of his friend and battle buddy Harry Quarry, newly-discharged John Grey ensures that Hector has a home waiting for him.

Title: Lemon Drop Author: @mistresspandorawritesthings Rating: E Ship: Hal/John/Percy AU Category: Modern Word Count: 6,335 Summary:  Weeks into their mother's engagement, John and Hal still haven't been formally introduced to their soon-to-be step-brother. So Hal suggests they take matters into their own hands. And if it turns out Percy is up for a little fun... all the better.

Title: A Pocketful of Posies Author: @levisqueaks Rating: M Ship: Brian/John (end game); Jamie/John  AU Category: Modern Word Count: 3,483 Summary:  Jamie breaks up with John a mere week before his wedding to a girl John knew nothing about. 20 years later, John finally gets a little bit of closure.

Title: London Calling - Come out of the Cupboard Author: @angstosaur  Rating: E Ship: Claire/Jamie/John AU Category: Semi-modern Word Count: 24,337 Summary:  Setting – Bloomsbury, London, early 1980’s John is a newly qualified solicitor and is working in Holborn. When he was studying law in London his mother insisted he stay in her apartment in Bloomsbury. He agreed as long as he could share with his old school friend, Claire Beauchamp. Claire has just finished at medical school and has a post as a junior doctor at a large London Hospital. They’re just good friends. That’s all. Really. After all, John is gay. Then, Jamie Fraser enters their lives and suddenly all that was taken for granted is called into question.

Title: John Grey’s Anatomy (WIP) Author: @jesuisprest747​ Rating: E Ship: Claire/Jamie/John AU Category: Modern medical Word Count: 25,452 Summary:  When John Grey decided to move to America in early 2020 to escape his past and make a new start at Boston Memorial Hospital, he only wished to work hard at his anesthesiology fellowship and heal his broken heart. Little did he know that he would soon meet two people who would change his life forever, against the background of the world's first global pandemic in over a hundred years.

Title: Blood Bound (WIP) Author: @mistresspandorawritesthings​ Rating: E Ship: Jamie/John; Jenny/Minnie AU Category: Supernatural/fantasy Word Count: 2,862 Summary:  Jamie Fraser grew up with the knowledge of the unholy evil that walks the earth. For more generations than his father could count, Fraser women have been the lone soldiers charged with keeping the evil things at bay. But when one wrong move on a haunted bog in Ireland transforms Jamie into the very thing he was taught to help his sister eradicate, he's forced to reevaluate everything he thought he knew about monsters.

Title: Love is a three-edged sword (WIP) Author: @angstosaur  Rating: M Ship: Claire/Jamie/John AU Category: Authurian Word Count: 74,668 Summary: An Arthurian themed AU featuring characters from Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series of books and the Lord John Grey stories. The enduring love triangle of Arthur, Guinevere and Lancelot retold with a different twist. Expect canon to be used and abused, mythology to be woven in as desired and for there to be scenes of an explicit nature.T his is neither Outlander nor Arthurian legend as you may know it, or accept it, but it’s a story that called to me many months ago and I shall endeavour to write it. The characters are fictional and I’ve put them in an indeterminate time, so there will be less historical accuracy than my previous long story.

[graphicabyss]

XVII-XVIII Century Royal Queer History

Unexpectedly to myself, I got really engaged in history of Europe of XVI-XVII centuries. I never really had much interest in kings and queens and didn't know much about them but once I began to read and learn about their personal lives, I got kinda hooked. Also, I was struck by how many of them were queer and I began to write down my findings, which inevitably turned into a freaking study. I thought I might as well post it.

I'm gonna start with King James I of England who ruled in XVII century. Now there are several tumblr posts about this queer legend. Some historians think he was weak and unremarkable but he survived several assassination attempts, kept his power over 3 countries and lived to old age, which is pretty remarkable on its own. He also kept all the religious leaders at bay and commissioned the world's most famous Bible, which is still owned by most Christians 400 years later. He was also the one who created the modern wedding ritual. You know, church, vows, rings, that stuff. He avoided wars and was a patron of the arts, even wrote some books, including one about demons, werewolves and vampires. What a nerd. He was very different from Elizabeth who preceded him, so one contemporary epigram stated "Elizabeth was King, now James is Queen". Oh, also he was very gay. Or, at least, as gay as a king can get. His relationships with his male courtiers were notorious. He had several favourites who had way too much influence over him and his court really hated it.

He needs to have a movie made about him, seriously. I found only one semi-documentary film and it was The King James Bible: The Book That Changed The World (2011). While I liked the film and King James was hot, sassy and very cool, it was disappointing he was shown as perfectly straight. They could just avoid his personal life altogether, but instead they chose to show him being a perfect husband. While it is true that he was nice to his bride, by the time he met her he had a 10-year old relationship with a man 24 years his senior (since he was 14). I'm just gonna use this screenshot from the movie instead of a painting because it's too good.

Perhaps the most notorious of his alleged lovers was George Villiers, 1st Duke of Buckingham. Starting out as a son of a minor gentleman, the 21-year old lad caught the eye of King James I and quickly became his favourite teasing him by dancing in intricate performances called masques. He made a brilliant career becoming a knight, an earl, a Marquess, and finally a duke - a title normally being reserved for members of the royal family - within just 9 years. Can you blame him though? I mean, look at that stud.

Btw, James’ pet name for Buckingham was ‘Steenie’, derived from St. Stephen who reportedly had the face of an angel.

The name Buckingham seemed oddly familiar to me but it took some time before I realized he was one of the characters in Dumas's "The Three Musketeers". Now I am someone who grew up on old pure Three Musketeers movies so when I started learning about the real historical figures involved in it it gave me a slight shock as the truth is way more weird and sinister that fiction.

The storyline I remember the most was the one where Anne of Austria, the queen of France, got in trouble with her husband Louis XIII because of her affair with Duke of Buckingham. Of course, Duke of Buckingham was never the Queen's lover, he was the King's. What's more, some historians assume Louis XIII was also queer. There is no evidence that Louis kept mistresses, but he had very intimate relationships with his favourites. He has even been described as “repelled by female contact”. There's also the issue of him struggling to have an heir. His wife had 4 pregnancies that were unsuccessful but that seemed like too few for a king who needed to secure his dynasty. After 23 years of trying, the king and queen were finally able to produce a son and another soon followed, the older son to become Louis XIV, and the younger, Philippe, to be known as Duke of Orleans.

Anne was quite the character for a dramatic story too. After Louis's death she became the Regent and made sure to clear the way for her son Louis. To ensure that Louis's younger brother will not try to usurp the power from him as it was with Louis XIII 's brother, Anne of Austria conducted an early and very wicked gender development experiment. She and her adviser, Cardinal Mazarin, set up a plan to raise the two boys very differently. Queen Anne called Philippe by such nicknames as "my little girl" and encouraged him to dress in feminine clothing, which he sometimes did even as an adult.

I'm just gonna use this quote because this shit is real: The queen and Mazarin discouraged the duc d'Anjou [Philippe] from traditional manly pursuits such as arms and politics, and encouraged him to wear dresses, makeup, and to enjoy feminine behaviour. His inclination toward homosexuality was not discouraged, with the hope of reducing any threat he may have posed to his older brother. Reportedly, Cardinal Mazarin even commanded his nephew, Philippe, to de-flower the king's younger brother.

Well, fuck. The joke's on them though, as Philippe grew up to be a fashion icon AND a fierce warrior. He participated in many battles and was immensely praised for his bravery and valour. In 1677, he led the French forces at the Battle of Cassel against William III of Orange of the Netherlands. Yes, that guy who later gently invaded England and took the throne. By the way, there are some allegations that he was also gay. Anyway, Philippe was so badass in battle that people glorified him as a hero and it made his stallion of a brother so jealous he sent him back and never allowed him on the battlefield again. Louis XIV continued his mother's effort in encouraging his brother's effeminate behaviour and putting up with his homosexual relationships, all the while waging a war of homosexuality in France. I mean, gotta preserve the traditional values, such as fucking 12 mistresses who were often married. There were even rumours Louis fucked Philippe's wife. I guess he was trying to make up for his father, brother, son, and uncle, César de Vendôme. Meanwhile, Philippe gave no fucks. He had a number of favourites and didn't even try to hide his sexuality. In fact, it is said that every time Louis pissed him off, Philippe did something extra gay and in his face. Fierce.

One guy I have to mention is Armand, the Comte de Guiche, who was said to be handsome, vain, and manipulative. Armand was Philippe’s lover, but he is widely thought to have been his wife Henrietta’s lover as well. That apparently wasn’t enough for the guy, because in 1665 he also tried to romance Louise de La Valliere, who was Louis’ chief mistress at the time. Louis exiled him in 1662 for plotting with Henrietta to break up Louis and Louise. What a glorious fucker.

But the love of Philippe's life was Chevalier de Lorraine who was basically a prince of a realm outside France. He's usually called 'Chevallier' but his name was also Philippe. He also had an older brother named Louis. Seriously, couldn't they try a little harder with the names? Anyway, when they met Philippe was 18 and Chevalier 15 and sparks flew. He was described as being “as beautiful as an angel” and was more than ready to use what his mama gave him. He was smart and very manipulative and Philippe showered him with gifts all his life, much to the chagrin of his two wives whose money and estates he often gave away.

He moved to Palais-Royal, the same palace as Philippe and his wife Henriette. Very convenient. Philippe's marriage got kinda crowded. Chevalier got so arrogant, he actually told Philippe's wife she needs his permission to sleep with him and that he could get him to divorce her. She complained to the king and he got Chevalier imprisoned and exiled. However, not for long as Philippe pleaded the king to pardon him and eventually succeeded. Henriette did not get much relief apparently as she wrote: “I see from the ashes of Monsieur’s love for the Chevalier, as from the dragon’s teeth, a whole brood of fresh favourites are likely to spring up to vex me.” Of course, Chevalier also managed to enrich himself immensely by getting Philippe and the king to give him and his family tons of perks, such as make him the titular Abbot of four abbeys, which payed handsomely.

Henriette died very suddenly claiming she was poisoned. The doctors found no evidence of that, but there were still rumours that Chevalier was to blame. Philippe had to find another wife, even if he wasn't happy about it. Chevalier stuck around. He was exiled a second time after he apparently seduced the king's son (more on that later) but was able to return again. Their relationship lasted for 40 years, until Philippe's death.

There was a recent TV show called Versailles that depicts Louis XIV’s reign and it has a fairly accurate though romanticized portrayal of Philippe and Chevalier's relationship. Too bad the show is way too violent for me to watch. They look stunning in it~

Anyway, such relationships were far from rare. In fact, apparently there were the so-called confréries (“fraternities”), which were basically gay brotherhoods whose members hung out together and set up orgies. One elite brotherhood was founded between 1680 and 1682. Apart from Chevalier, it included the king Louis XIV's cousin Prince of Conti who was once proclaimed the King of Poland, and Louis's illegitimate son, the comte de Vermandois. The latter was 15 in 1682 when at the court of his uncle Philippe, he met the Chevalier de Lorraine and his sect and apparently got very personally acquainted with Chevalier's younger brother and nephew. When the king learned about it, the group was forcibly dissolved and Vermandois was beaten before the king, exiled from court, and forced into marriage. Another such group was within the highest ranks of nobility at the court of Philippe II, Duke of Orléans, the son of Philippe and the regent at the time when Louis XV was young. They really didn't bother with names, huh? Anyway, they got involved in a number of scandals, in one of which that happened in 1722 a group of 17 noble men gathered in the palace gardens to fuck. The Regent didn't seem very bothered and even seemed to find it amusing.

The Regent, who did not stop smiling, was satisfied that it was necessary to give the nobles a harsh reprimand and tell them that they do not have the best taste [goût] in the world.

Dad would be proud.

There were also some (presumably) queer queens, like Queen Anne of England. Now you might have seen the movie The Favourite but it's heavily satirized and Anne wasn't really childlike and helpless. Actually, this image was created by Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, after she was expelled by Anne, and stuck. However, the rivalry between the old and new favourites was very real.

Anne met Sarah when she was just 8. Sarah was beautiful, charming and very persuasive. When Anne became the queen, she made Sarah Churchill her Mistress of the Robes (the highest office in the royal court that could be held by a woman) and gave her a bunch of other really cool titles. She also made her husband, John Churchill, a duke. Thus Sarah became the most powerful person in England after the queen and the queen always listened to her advice. However, as years went by, Sarah became increasingly pushy and insensitive, using the queen to get what she wanted.

Sarah looking fab~

Then comes Abigail Masham, Sarah's impoverished cousin. Abigail was soft, caring and considerate, exactly what the queen needed. Sarah tried to get rid of her but it only angered the queen further and she eventually dismissed Sarah and her husband and banished them with disgrace while Abigale took her place. Sarah then wrote scandalous memoirs, painting the queen as weak and instable, as well as implying that her relationship with Abigail was lesbian. In mid-1708, she helped to circulate a ballad with such lyrics as: “Her secretary she was not / Because she could not write / But had the conduct and the care / Of some dark deeds at night.”

While there is no direct evidence that she and Anne had sexual relationship, there are many letters between the women that are very romantic and intimate. Sarah even used them to blackmail the queen. And you can kinda see why. “Tis impossible for you ever to believe how much I love you except you saw my heart,” the princess wrote in one letter, as quoted in Anne Somerset’s biography of Anne. “If I writ whole volumes I could never express how well I love you,” read another.

Also, like, evidence was hardly even a thing with queer relationships, since the only solid evidence of regular affairs were illegitimate children.

Finally, I really want to talk about Frederick II, the king of Prussia. Buckle up because this is gonna be long.

Until the age of 7 Frederick was growing up with his lit mother and sister. Here they are, looking gorge. I think he's in blue but tbh I'm not 100% sure.

Anyway, as he got older he was taken to his father and that's when things got shitty. His father, Frederick William I, was the model image of toxic masculinity. He was all about power and military and expected his son to be the same. And since the boy was a lot more into music, poetry, and French stuff, his father often beat and humiliated him. He didn't allow him to learn French and Latin because, like, that's so gay. Now he was a real man. With a weird kink for tall guys. He is known for creating the Potsdam Giants, a regiment of very tall men that he didn't use for battle, just dressing them up and making them march. Ultimate straightness. It is probably redundant to say but his father also hated 'sodomy' and it was punishable by death, a law Frederick would repeal.

And the thing is, Frederick wasn't even supposed to become a king. He was the third son. It wasn't even disease. The first son died because a volley was fired close to his crib (because that’s the only way to wake up a real man - canon) and the second died at baptism because the royal crown crushed his skull. And you thought your parents were bad. Poor Frederick didn't even want to be a king, he just wanted to play the flute and do his thing. In a different age he'd be writing musicals on Broadway or something.

Anyway, there are few doubts among historians the man was gay. There's this BBC documentary that downplays it but it keeps saying he grew up in an environment where he was "leading a double life" and that he once wrote to a close friend that he felt he was a mirror that dared not be what nature made it, forced to oblige what was around it. Please.

Frederick's first presumed relationship was at 16, with Keith, the king's 17-year-old page. Unsurprisingly, Keith was soon sent to a far-off frontier. Right after that, however, Frederick got real close with an officer Hans Hermann von Katte. The dude was very woke and they both loved music and poetry but shit got very real very soon. In 1730, Katte and Frederick decided to flee to Britain to escape their despotic fathers. Sadly, they got caught and tried for treason. Although the prince was pardoned, Katte was sentenced to life imprisonment, which his sick dad changed to execution and then forced Frederick to watch it. At execution Katte and Fred shouted to each other endearments in French and before it happened, Frederick fainted. That shit really fucked him up and he got depressed but he toughened up and accepted his fate.

Aged about 20, Frederick was expected to marry. After a few failed attempts, an Austrian bride was selected, Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick-Bevern. Frederick was clearly unexcited and apparently even threatened suicide. As soon as he had secured throne, he sent her away and only met with her out of necessity. They had no children. And some historians are like, "well, they just didn't get along". Well, his folks hated each other but it didn't stop them from having 14 children.

Anyway, his father finally got off his back and as a crown prince, he mostly spent his time reading, composing, watching plays and writing woke political essays. Then his dad died so playtime was over.

Now that sounds like a story of a "weak" king. A man who loved to read books and play his flute. But it's not how it was. As Fred became king, he inherited a very militarized state with a huge-ass army and he worked with what he had. He started expanding Prussia, starting with Austria, which he had old beef with. He wasn't out for world conquest, he struck swiftly and strategically to consolidate and strengthen his state.

Frederick, widely known as Frederick the Great, waged war against much bigger armies with great success and doubled Prussia's size in his reign. Which is why Hitler was obsessed with the guy smh. Would make more sense if he was into the Frederick Senior, with his militarism and his little hobby of inbreeding giants and all. He must have missed the part where he was tolerant, modest and also gay.

Frederick also had a younger brother, Prince Henry, who was also gay. He was an important general in the king's army, though their relationship was quite complicated. Henry married but like his brother, bore no children, ignored his wife and spent time with fine lads.

Look at this unapologetic legend!

When Frederick wasn't battling, he was doing lit stuff. He built a gorgeous palace in French fashion, full of Grecian sculptures and homoerotic paintings. He attracted the best intellectual minds of his time. Voltaire lived there for 3 years btw and he did not hold back to make many "wink wink" references to the king and his Grecian taste.

Speaking of which... One of his closest friends was Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf, an army private and a son of a peasant. Frederick met him as a prince and kept him by his side for the rest of his life, quite literally as he had an adjoined bedroom in his palace. He also made him a chancellor and gave him an estate, which really pissed off the elites.

Frederick is a complex character. Sure, he waged war and very successfully asserted himself as one of the top military leaders in history. But at the time Prussia was a scattered landlocked state, it couldn't just opt out of war so it's not like he could just go "peace out, bitches". But he did so much more. The guy actually believed that the king's duty was to be just and improve the lives of his people. He did some major reforms, improved education, supported art, and practiced religious tolerance, which was pretty woke at the time. He abolished torture and corporal punishment. He made governing more democratic by hiring people based on ability, not just status. Sadly, his cool legacy was utterly destroyed because the Nazi decided to appropriate him as their idol but lately it’s being reassessed. It’s hard to judge him considering how much he went through. But despite it all he became one of the best military commanders in history, one of the most woke and talented monarchs, and of course a legendary queer! 

Disclaimer: I know all of these people did some terrible shit, at least by modern standards, but I'm here to have fun so I'm not going to go there now. Sources: medium.com/@LukeBoneham/the-politics-of-desire-... thehistoryofparliament.wordpress.com/2019/02/21... www.ranker.com/list/life-of-philippe-dorleans/m... cour-de-france.fr/vie-quotidienne/sociabilite-e... aelarsen.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/versailles-th... thedrummersrevenge.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/ref... dirtysexyhistory.com/2017/09/03/a-secret-gay-br... unspeakablevice.tumblr.com/post/82525976110/lou... journals.openedition.org/crcv/14427#ftn161 Marie Antoinette's World: Intrigue, Infidelity, and Adultery in Versailles The Real Versailles - BBC Two

BBC Four - Frederick the Great and the Enigma of Prussia https://medium.com/war-is-boring/historys-greatest-gay-general-fd7d1d311464 https://www.queerportraits.com/bio/frederick https://www.spectator.com.au/2015/10/frederick-the-great-king-of-prussia-is-a-great-read/ http://gayinfluence.blogspot.com/2011/10/frederick-great-1712-1786.html https://www.history.com/news/true-story-queen-anne-sarah-abigail-the-favourite-fact-check

[nekojitachan]

Ummm more about Mr. Neil Minyard on campus please

Ah, thank you so much for the ask! 😘

Let’s see, especially since tumblr atewhat I’d already written for this. ☹

As they’d planned out when they got engaged,Neil and Andrew didn’t tell anyone but the Monsters (+ Robin and Katelyn), theoriginal Foxes, Wymack, Abby, Bee and Stuart, that they were married.

Oh, and Ichirou, of course, who agreedthat they shouldn’t tell anyone else until Neil’s final Exy season started(Andrew’s pro team also thought this was wisest). However, he was pleased thatNeil had basically signed already with a more than adequate pro team and sowould soon have a ‘decent’ salary from which to send him that owed percentage,and even gifted Neil with a rather extravagant wedding gift.

Neil, Nicky andAaron had to talk Andrew out of smashing said gift to pieces after its arrival.

Neil and Andrew spent the summer in Boston,eventually settling on the perfect apartment (meaning they both agreed uponit - with only some minor freakout from Neil), which they decorated as their future home together; Neil even brought someof his belongings from PSU and Columbia since he hoped to spend as much freetime there as possible before he graduated.

Once training season started, Neilreturned to PSU, where he roomed with Robin and threw himself into preparingthe new Foxes. He both wanted to ensure that the Foxes did well that year aswell as fill the time until he was able to talk to or visit Andrew.

Neil had gotten better (not much, but a little)at telling when someone was interested in him, but he was distracted, okay? Forthe first time in several years, he was alone without Andrew or even Nicky orAaron at his side, it was a huge adjustment for him. Robin helped a lot, butshe wasn’t Andrew.

And oh was Robin by his side! She’d beentemporarily assigned by Andrew as the guardian of Neil’s… erm… uhm… ‘virtue’,and she took said job very seriously.

Especially since theathletes (and eventually the rest of the students) had returned to campus, some ofthem excited about the fact that for the first time in over four years, oneNeil Josten was alone without one very scary Andrew Minyard in sight. An AndrewMinyard who’d graduated and moved up north, so that meant Neil was single, right?

(NO, NOT AT ALL.)

Robin would be amused by the patheticattempts to pick up Neil if they weren’t attempts to pick up Neil.Though she almost, almost, felt sorry for the morons (again, theywere attempting to pick up NEIL JOSTEN.)

Like the guy who thought it was abrilliant idea to walk up to Neil, smile and tell him how ‘hot’ his tattooswere, and then ask if the ‘A’ on his cheek stood for ‘angel’ because surelyNeil had just fallen from heaven. Robin was hard-pressed not to laugh when Neilsomehow managed to spill his bottle of sports drink over the guy’s head.

Or the girl who told Neil that she had a‘thing’ for linguists because they ‘knew’ how to use their tongues, only forhim to give her a blank look and say in Russian that he only spoke Englishbefore he gathered his books and stalked out of the library (with Robingiggling in tow, their Russian study session clearly put on hold for the timebeing).

The Foxes knew that Neil was stillinvolved with Andrew (just not how involved), and found the whole situationhilarious, of course (well, not Jack and Sheena). Of course they started abetting pool on how many times Neil would be hit on each week and how; Cammie madea killing when the one transfer soccer player had the ‘brilliant’ idea ofserenading Neil one night from the Fox Tower’s courtyard with an alteredversion of ‘Foxy Boy’.

Robin had to prevent Neil from going outto gut the moron, and then Andrew from flying (flying!) back to PSU onthe next plane to track down said moron to do much the same.

(Nicky nearly passed out from laughingso much when she told him about the whole thing.)

It was decided that Andrew would makethe announcement after his first professional game, something they both eagerlylooked forward to happening (and Wymack, since he was tired of the drama,betting pool and lovesick idiots interrupting his practice).

The Sunday after the Foxes’ first gameof the season (which they won), the Colonials played the Nighthawks and won(Neil, Robin and several Foxes held a viewing party at Abby’s for the game). Andrewnearly shut down the goal when he was out on court, and had the commentatorsraving about such an exciting start to his career and predicting that it wouldn’tbe long before there was an offer to join Court.

Of course he was dragged out for apost-game interview, where he clearly suffered through a few questions which hereplied to with coached answers (‘happy’ to be with the Colonials, Boston wasn’t‘too bad’, he liked the food, etc.). However, after five minutes, he clickedhis tongue and loudly announced that he was done with the questions as he hadto go call his husband.

That declaration was met with silencefor several seconds, until an intrepid reporter raised his hand and asked ifAndrew had said the word ‘husband’. Andrew verified that yes, he had, and that saidhusband was one Neil Josten now Neil Minyard so he needed to make sure thetrouble-prone idiot hadn’t gotten into some sort of new mess he had to takecare of, so he was done for the night.

Neil sat on the couch with a huge grinon his face while Robin nudged him in the ribs; it took a minute or two beforeCammie, Jordan and the others regained their senses and could (cautiously) pileon him in congratulations.

Word spread quickly about Neil’s new statusas a married man; he gave an interview the next day, started wearing his ringson his finger instead of on a chain hung around his neck, and let the schoolknow about his name change.

Most people respected Neil’s marriedstatus, but there were a few who seemed to think that him being in a long-termrelationship meant he was open to ‘fooling around’ (of course it didn’t). Bythat point, Robin had perfected her own version of the creepy smile/stare andmanaged to circumvent almost all of them before they got close to Neil.

And the ones she didn’t? Well, theydeserved what they got, she figured.

[love-love-you]

Good music criticism: Thoughtful, Constructive, and Respectful (oh my)

So a while ago, I made a post about cishet critics just,,so boldly and valiantly Missing The Point in their reviews of Mika’s music. It, well...

It kind of blew up.

So, in the spirit of ruining my own joke by over-explaining it, I reblogged with a big long addition, which you can find here. Because said addition was so big and long, I wanted to make a separate post featuring the good reviews that I highlighted there.

These are critiques that I feel are well-supported, make clear, fresh points, and really take the time and energy to respectfully engage with the material.

Written by Christian John Wikane for PopMatters, this piece sensitively pinpoints the sadness at the heart of Mika’s second album, The Boy Who Knew Too Much—a sadness that comes from being in the spotlight, and in the closet. Among the pileup of unfortunate 2009-era “that’s so gay” takes on Mika’s sophomore album, Wikane��s review stands out.

In his review of No Place In Heaven, Jon Sobel admits that he “didn’t quite get it at first,” struggling to reconcile Mika’s typical “operatic sizzle” with the contemplative tones of his fourth album. Instead of hiding that confusion to preserve an image of an all-knowing, impartial critic, he takes the time to explore it, and the review is all the better for it. His background as a theater critic also allows him to take a look at the album as a character study.

Andie Castillo’s piece on the same album is a heartfelt expression of understanding. As an “LGBT individual” himself, he delves into the queer themes of the album on a complex and nuanced level. He even makes the connection from “Promiseland” to Neon Trees, barely a year after lead singer Tyler Glenn came out publicly via a 2014 Rolling Stone article. It’s an apt comparison, especially considering that Glenn’s explosive solo album Excommunication wouldn’t come out for another year.

Jack from ScreenStreams constructs a thoughtful critique in his review of Mika’s most recent album, My Name Is Michael Holbrook. He provides some interesting insights on the personal nature of the album, referencing the emphasis on Mika’s voice and his use of the first person, without veering into overly glowing praise.

Finally, Tumblr’s own @ottimistaaccidentaleart has done a fantastic series of posts about My Name Is Michael Holbrook, including lyrical, musical, and contextual analysis alongside her artwork for each track. Her analysis of “Sanremo” draws from her knowledge as a native of the titular city, including its history as the birthplace of the Italian gay liberation movement.

Hopefully this helps shed some light on the positive, because if that post showed me anything, it’s that I’m not the only one who’s noticed the frustrating pattern of lackluster writing and recycled insults. Although I have studied in the area of music criticism, I’m certainly not claiming to be any kind of authority on Good Writing™ — these are just some examples that I felt did a particularly good job, and might be worth a read if you’re looking for solid criticism of Mika’s work.

To close with my TL;DR from the original post, critics can say really shitty things that bring up years of homophobic baggage, whether intentional or not. They can also put in the work to engage respectfully with the art they’re critiquing. It can be exhausting to constantly have to figure out which one you’re dealing with, and it can be wonderful to find one that Gets It.

[awed-frog]

Do you have any advice for someone who’s really struggling to study? I’m really stressed and demotivated, and I can’t seem to sit down and just study. In my country we only have virtual classes so maybe It has something to do with that, it’s really sad that it’s my first college year and I haven’t attended one single face to face class. Anyway, If you have any kind words I would really appreciate it. Love your blog btw <3

Hey! Thank you for this! And I’m very sorry you feel that way...just know you’re not alone, I think we’re all a bit ‘what’s the point’ rn, and for students (and teachers) this period must suck especially hard. I don’t know exactly what can work for you, but here are a few things that come to mind. I hope you can find something useful!

Have habits and routines. Our days are all over the place, which is not good for motivation or mental health. Instead of procrastinating, feeling guilty, working in a hurry and then feeling even worse, decide on a schedule that works for you. Don’t be too hard on yourself - give it as much time as you need to do the work well, and devote the rest of your day to stuff that makes you feel accomplished and serene (maybe learn or practice a non-screen skill, such as cooking or painting?).

And: at risk of sounding like a yoga mom, don’t forget about your body. Very often stuff like bad mood or exhaustion has physical, not mental, causes. Try to make time for sport - dancing in your underwear, running outside, walking the dog, online pilates, a 7-minute app - and, if you can, a few minutes of meditation, singing or breathing exercises every day. I’d recommend the ‘cardiac coherence’ stuff - lasts about 3 minutes, makes you feel really great. And: remember to stretch, smile and drink water throughout the day. If possible, go outside or have plants and flowers around you.

When it comes to habit, try to understand what kind of person you are and react accordingly. Some people work best when they change cold turkey (new day, new me), while for others it’s better to adjust things more slowly (for instance by moving the alarm clock forward five minutes every week or two). If you’re the second type, a method like Pomodoro could work well to organize your work schedule. 

Have pretty things. Try switching to ink or coloured pens, have nice stationery, organize your Word documents so they’re neat and tidy, use candles, plants, ‘good mood’ incense - whatever makes you feel your work has meaning and worth.

Try background music. Some people work better with noise, and you can find all kind of noises online, from stations to coffee shops to purring cats. Others like classical music. For me, what works is video game music, which is designed to keep you alert and focused while being unobtrusive.

Try to keep your workspace as similar as possible to a ‘real’ workspace. No stack of dirty mugs and plates, no abandoned pajama bottoms. If you can manage it, start your day as if you were actually going outside - dress for actual human company, put on make-up if you like to - and remember to prepare your desk the night before: textbooks, charged laptop, notebooks, water bottle, possibly a diary or a motivational quote or anything you find useful.

If it helps, study with friends or classmates. Have video meetings, chats or shared Google docs and work together. Rant with people who’re going through the same thing, but also find a way to help one another. If you live with flatmates or family members, maybe you can find a moment to work together on your separate things? Dad does admin, mom prepares a work presentation, you do your homework and that’s ‘work time’ for everyone?

Divide your tasks. Make clear lists of what you have to do - as detailed as possible (not: shakespeare essay, but: 1. read book, 2. write essay, 2b. introduction and so on) and pay attention to when the stuff is due, either writing it down in agendas or post-its or creating alerts on your phone. Some people also like the square of doom (you know, that ‘important + urgent’, ‘important + non urgent’ thingy).  

Keep track of what you’re doing if you find it helps you. There are good apps for this, or you can use a nice journal or an Excel sheet. Track whatever you want - minutes of study, words learned, tasks accomplished...a favourite of mine is ‘a time logger’, which can track your entire day. When I was in uni, it made me realize I was working a lot more than I thought, and reaching daily goals kept me motivated.

Rethink your internet consumption, especially news, TV shows and social media. Try having periods where you go off-screen whenever you need a break. Stuff like, ‘no TV before 6 pm’ or ‘no tumblr on weekdays’ can automatically make you a lot less stressed and a lot more productive. 

You can also decide to modify the way you engage with these things. For instance, if your studies involve a language, you could watch only TV shows in [language], or turn on [language] subtitles, or you could switch to Buzzfeed [country]. If you like IG, pinterest or tumblr, try having a separate ‘weekday’ account which is about healthy escapism and/or accountability: landscapes and poetry instead of fandom content, or a personal blog about your day - use the right tags and connect with others who’re going through the same thing.    

Imagine you’re teaching someone. I’m guessing you’re passionate about your subject, so turn your study sessions into imaginary conversations. Teaching a lesson (or making a speech) is often the best way to see what you understand, what you need to work on, and what you’re interested in learning more about.

Websites like b-ok can help you find books about your subject (or not) - possibly stuff you’re not actually compelled to read, but which sounds interesting nonetheless. Broaden your horizon, discover different stuff, and sooner or later you’ll find yourself making connections between the exciting stuff you’re basically reading for fun and the actual subject you’re studying.

And: remember why you’re studying this. What are you passionate about? Why did you fall in love with your subject? Why are you studying it? Sometimes we have to endure a few boring classes to get to the good part, and that’s okay.

And finally: visualize the future. The world will get better, and at some point you’ll be glad you’ve spent a few (or many) hard and boring hours getting your degree. What are you going to do after this? Make a ‘future’ board, write a fake Wikipedia article about yourself, give a Nobel or graduation speech, give a pep talk to your (imaginary) future children about the hardships you faced on Zoom and how you overcame them to become the mom they know and love. Whatever works, no matter how ridiculous or narcissistic or far-fetched is a good thing!

I hope this helps! Remember to remain calm and positive, and talk to yourself as if you were talking to a child or a best friend. Less You suck and the world is going to end and more Yes, you didn’t do great today, but we can always do better tomorrow, it’s okay to have an off day! Uni is hard enough under any circumstances, and right now...do your best and resist the bait of dark thoughts: we will get through this, and everything will be alright. It’s how it works.

[kurtwagners]

you critize atla all that much which fine whatever you can do that but, your blog is plastered in marvel stuff which also has tons of problems in regards to representation and which mostly is run by white guys, one of which is actually a trump supporter so like, what's valid and what's not? Why do you get to pick and choose what is and isn't problematic to like?

Another thing is why are you so adamant on shitting on communists and anarchists and leftists in general? What do you even believe it that you think makes you so much better and wise that anyone with that sort of ideology? All you do is blog about fandom related things and consume comics by the two biggest media companies on the planet and you think that somehow makes you an authority on anything?

I’m so glad this ask gave me a gateway to rant about comics I criticize marvel and DC literally all the time, this is like the 5th time but I love to say it: Post-9/11 iterations of iconic superheroes of American culture, especially ones like Batman and Iron-man, are literally the manifestation of contemporary myth-making of American capitalism, as well as American-exceptionalism neoliberal copganda. My last super viral post was completely shitting on how Tibet is represented in Doctor Strange, you should check it out (it’s old though so not my best). It’s kind of an academic hobby of mine to rip apart comics because I love media studies a lot. My entire final project for my Tibetan Studies course in uni was on orientalist misrepresentations of Tibet in Western superhero comics such as Doctor Strange and Iron Fist and the “Shangri-La” phenomenon (I can link if you want I’d have to revise some sections though, haha)! Also if you follow my social media you probably see me preaching the book Capitalist Superheroes: Caped Crusaders in the Neoliberal Age by Dan Hassler Forest, it’s one of my favorite pieces of academic media studies writing, it completely breaks down the concept of the American “superhero" using a Marxist lens and I am obsessed with it. Warning though it’s REALLY dense but I think it’s extremely well-researched and really puts into perspective how important media studies can be when analyzing the political characteristics of nations, and how media shapes the minds of youth in their image.

I said multiple times I don’t mind that people enjoy and consume Avatar, I just wanted to point out it’s flaws in representing the Tibetan people, which is rooted in the writers being white. Comics also does this too, and I have written about this problem both on Tumblr and in an academic setting! So many fictional works created in the Western World has political implications that are problematic in nature, which is why I as a fan enjoy it and also enjoy criticizing and dissecting it! It helps me better understand how politics are ingrained in almost every aspect of our lives! You can enjoy things you are critical of, so please don’t worry! 

I agree with you, enjoying superhero comic companies is definitely a double edged sword, because of their problematic existence as corporate entities while they are now hiring more diverse writers and artists for specific projects that give positive representation for marginalized groups, like Ms. Marvel and Ironheart. I personally try my best as a fan of superhero comics to minimize my impact in contributing to the corporate side and white creators pockets by torrenting popular, large comic titles written by white men. I only actively purchase small series that give writers of color and women a salary and a platform, such as my absolute favorite writers Saladin Ahmed, Greg Pak, G Willow Wilson, Eve Ewing, and Ta Nehisi Coates! They’re all excellent writers so check out their comics and outside works! I also don’t watch superhero movies anymore, I just generally don’t like them that much outside of Black Panther, aka the best superhero film.

Time for a promo: My favorite superhero team of all time, the Champions, focusses on characters of color like Kamala Khan, Miles Morales, Sam Alexander, Amadeus Cho and Riri Williams, and is currently being written by esteemed black academic Eve Ewing. The next issue of her Champions reboot is coming out in October 2020. It’s going to focus on how teen superheroes and vigilantes challenge the government and status quo, I’m so excited about it so PLEASE check out your local comic store and buy an issue if you’re interested in supporting comic creators of color writing heroes of color! It really needs financial support after Covid delayed the release. Champions in the past also gave a platform for Indigenous Canadian voices by pulling in Inuit creative Nyla Innuksuk and collaborated with her to create the new Champions member, Inuit superhero Snowguard (my baby), so if you are interested in modern and inspiring indigenous narratives please check out those past issues as well ❤️

And to address your other criticism: not all is how it appears sometimes! I have a more serious political twitter and a fan twitter both, so if you want to see me talk more about politics then fan things please be sure to follow me @chaiiyou on twitter instead! Kind of unrelated but also this is actually a side blog, I have a main blog that’s mostly just pretty photos and aesthetically pleasing stuff @butterchalatte so follow that too if you wish. 

I am a leftist of color (anti-imperialist anarcho-communist would be my best bet but I don’t like labels) myself, who is critical about how Western leftists often romanticize geopolitical situations they are unfamiliar with and nation-states that they have never been to or have been a part of. I hope you understand that leftism, like many things, isn’t a monolith and there are many disagreements and critical discussions happening within the left all the time, groups such as anarcho-communists and marxist-leninist-maoists really aren’t the same. If you happen to fall into the more tankie/authoritarian side of the spectrum, uh I guess sorry if I offended you by criticizing my colonizers lmao but these discourses are fairly common and happen all the time, I’m surprised you’re not familiar with it? Having open, critical discussions within the leftist sphere is what helps us better understand one another and build more substantial praxis together, it’s unhealthy to stick yourself in an echo chamber!

I don’t really get why you’re so spiteful and upset though, I think people who mostly come online to decompress and engage in things like fandom still have a right to have open discussions about politics if they want to. I’m not claiming to be an authority on anything, just sharing my own experiences like everyone else. I wish you well and hope you can find more compassion in your future om mani pedme hum.

Tl;dr: There is no ethical consumption under capitalism

[who-is-emppa]

Digging deeper into social media usage and my digital identity

I have been a social media user for at least the past decade of my life, as I was initiated to various internet platforms in my early teenage years. One particular platform that stuck even after all these years - including Tumblr - is Twitter: fast, short and concise communication and with an incredible range of topics and smaller communities formed within it, the “bird-app” has given me friends, people to talk to about my interests and lots and lots of information relevant to my personal growth, with special attention to a better understanding of the world and how I am part of it and communicate with those who live in it.

Social Media Unfamiliarity and Career Potential

Lately, especially when prompted by the nature of my tourism and marketing-related studies, I have come to know and revisit a vast amount of social media tools and platforms. Though few still remain unfamiliar to me, one in particular stands out: TikTok.

Much like Twitter, TikTok also uses really rapid and concise communication, though it does so with media which includes mainly pictures, videos and music; there is really no text and TikTok users seem to enjoy the more fast-paced and spoken information shared on the application. It reminds me quite much of apps such as Musical.ly, Dubsmash and the ever-to-be-missed Vine, though those were mainly used for entertainment purposes instead of the spread of information. Naturally, the entertainment and meme-y aspect of media-sharing is still quite prevalent on TikTok, but a short look at the application and the way it shares media with users has shown just how much knowledge and informative videos are actually posted on there.

As far as its potential for my career, I could definitely see it being used more as a way to reach a vast audience for my hobby and on-the-side activities that are not really tourism related; for instance, if I were ever to share singing/playing videos or short clips of my art. Nevertheless, in some way, it could still be used as a tool to relay information and market a possible destination I might be working at as a guide: providing possible visitors with a visual pre-experience on such an application, while telling “fun facts” about the place they might visit seems like the right start for a convincing and efficient marketing campaign.

Social Media Tools used by Companies: Smart Marketing

A couple of fine examples of good social media use in the tourism field - my area of “expertise” due to the nature of my studies -, are definitely Finnair’s use of Instagram and emails, and All About Lapland’s Instagram and website marketing. Both organizations use visual cues thanks to a platform like Instagram, all the while with the intention of creating engagement with possible consumers through their “likes” and “comments”, thus inspiring people to travel using their services (Finnair) and travel to their designated destinations (All About Lapland).

Though both organizations do a good job in keeping up the interest of those who follow their social media accounts, they take onto two different kinds of approaches: while All About Lapland straight-up posts videos and pictures of local and regional delicacies, locations and sightseeing beauties, Finnair makes it more “personal” with taking the consumer behind the scenes of every-day life work, with pictures and videos of the people/employees who make the company.

Digital Identity

Finally, about digging deeper in my own social media usage and to continue on what was mentioned at the start of this post, I believe I am a visual and interactive internet user, but more laid back and secretive as a content creator. Being a perfectionist and being afraid of too much sensitive information being shared, at times it feels odd to “give out” my own materials and creations with a vast audience - like opening up my whole heart -, thus leading me to not ever posting personal thoughts unless that happens on a privated account for a chosen few people.

As far as the information I have shared and that is available on the internet is concerned, most of it is correct and the few mishaps are intentional. Because I have been a social media user for so long, I have managed to create both different personas to protect my own privacy while still keeping my integrity as one who is able to be truthful about their intentions on the internet, and not having to share too much personal information that I could not handle being known for my own peace of mind and safety.

[let-it-raines]

another kind of green (10/10)

Emma Swan spends her days in pretty white dresses and heavy layers of makeup. Day after day and dress after dress, she poses for pictures and acts like she’s in love and having the happiest day of her life with the man standing next to her.

It’s not. This is all a gig, and at the end of the day, she’s no longer the girl in the pretty dress who’s faking getting married for a magazine cover or a wedding convention. Instead, she’s the girl who probably never wants to get married.

Little does she know, she already is.

Rating: Mature

a/n: I’m going to post this a few days early per a few requests, and I hope you all enjoy the ending! To those who were waiting to binge read the entire thing, now’s your opportunity! haha. 

Thanks to @xemmaloveskillianx​ choosing | forgotten first meeting + accidentally married | as her fic giveaway choice! It was difficult to figure out at first, but I had a great time writing it for you 💚 

ao3: beginning | current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

-/-

“So,” he starts as Emma clasps her bra and adjusts the straps until they’re in place, “that was – ”

“A one-time thing,” she quickly says, not allowing him to finish. “I’m not interested in anything more.” “Aye, neither am I.”

It’s been awhile since a had a one-night stand. They used to be more common for him, even if they did usually turn into month-long flings, but not so much lately. Tonight is an outlier, a what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas kind of cliché, and no matter how much he’d like to pull Emma back into bed with him for another round, she seems ready to go.

Good. That’s likely for the best for both of them.

No strings attached.

“Good. We’re in agreement then. Thanks for the – ”

“The best orgasm of your life?” 

Emma throws her head back with laughter, her tangled hair cascading down, and she quickly brushes through it with her fingers. God, her hair was soft. “Don’t flatter yourself. It was good, but I’m not giving you the best title.”

She reaches down and grabs her leggings, and he decides he should get dressed, too, pulling his jeans back on. “You going to give me another chance to try to take that top spot?”

“Huh. You wish.”

“I obviously do.”

She’s got to be one more cheeky statement away from slapping him.

They both keep getting dressed, falling silent in their conversation, and then all of the sudden they’re standing in front of his hotel room door. When did they move? Maybe the champagne affected him a little more than he thought if time is blurring together like that.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Emma rasps.

“Going down to the casino.”

“You can’t go to the casino. I’m going to the casino.”

“It’s a big city, love. I imagine we can both go. There is quite the selection of casinos.”

“I’m going to this one, though. I do not want to have to go to another hotel when I have a bed here.”

“Well, then, I guess we’ll have to manage to share the same space. We’ve been sharing a rather close space for the past hour, so I think we’ll be right as rain.”

Her eyes roll, and she quickly turns away, grabbing the rest of her belongings and opening his door. Killian follows, keeping his distance behind her, but they easily fall in step with each other. It’s weird walking with her now, hostility running between the two of them in the very hallway where she practically had her hand down his pants an hour ago. Killian tries not to think about it, to think about how damn good that felt and how frustrating it is to have Emma be so put off by him now.

This woman doesn’t make any sense.

Then again, who spends time together after a one-night stand? You either get up and leave right afterward, sneak away in the middle of the night, or have awkward conversation in the morning. Or possibly morning sex, but that’s the best case scenario.

They’re having awkward conversation right now. He should have stayed in the room. Instead he’s standing in an elevator with the woman he just fucked, and he’s never felt quite so claustrophobic.

As soon as the doors open, he’s going in the opposite direction of her. That’ll fix all of these problems.

“Hey,” someone yells when the doors open, “you two got married earlier!”

“Wrong people,” Emma mumbles as she steps out of the elevator.

“No, no, it was the two of you,” another girl says. It’s an entire group of them, all in matching outfits. Bloody hell. It’s a bachelorette party. Why do women insist on dressing alike when someone is getting married? “You had on the most gorgeous dress. It made me want to throw out my dress and buy a new one.”

“Oh, don’t say that. Your dress is gorgeous.”

“But it wasn’t like hers!”

“Yours is better. No offence.”

“None taken,” Emma laughs, looking over at him and smiling before quickly turning away and crossing her arms over her chest. Well, at least she smiled. “I’m sure your dress is gorgeous.”

“Thank you. I’m Anna, by the way. Can we buy you two some drinks? We’ve got a package with the hotel, and I’d just love to hear a little about the wedding.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Emma begins, nibbling on her lip. “I, we – ”

“That sounds great, Anna,” he interrupts. “Emma and I would love that.”

He knows Emma is shooting daggers at him with her eyes, and honestly, he doesn’t blame her. He’s just roped them into spending more time together as well as spending time with an overenthusiastic bachelorette party. If the woman didn’t already dislike him for everything outside of sex, she’d hate him now.

But honestly, it’s not bad. The women are nice, if not a bit loud, and he and Emma manage to string together some kind of fake story about their wedding and their courtship. Neither of them discussed actually telling them the truth, but he has a feeling they would all be absolutely devastated if they learned the truth. They’re very much a group who are in love with love, and if the drinks they’re getting weren’t so damn strong, he’d be bitter about it and say something about being engaged not being all it’s cracked up to be.

He couldn’t tell anyone what marriage is like. But engagement? He knows enough about that, and his certainly wasn’t like this.

“Do you want another one?” Emma asks him.

“Aye.”

She raises her hand over the bar, her sweater rising to show off her toned stomach, and orders them two more drinks. They might as well take advantage of the free drinks while they’re here.

“So, how long are we going to keep telling these women that we’re married?” she asks as she takes another sip of her drink. It’s mostly ice now, but she can’t seem to stop. “As long as we’re getting free drinks? Does that make us horrible people?”

“It makes us opportunists.”

Her eyes roll. “If it wasn’t one in the morning, I would probably protest.”

“It’s a good thing it’s one in the morning then, isn’t it, love?”

The drinks keep flowing as they move away from the bar and move toward the casino, spreading out to slot machines and poker tables. It’s been awhile since he played. Liam used to love the game, and everything Killian knows about it is from him. That’s a good thing when Killian starts winning a little money. It’s not such a great thing when security comes over because they suspect he might be counting cards.

His brain is not functional enough to count cards right now.

He’s definitely drunk. He knows that he is, and at some point today he should have had a little more water. This has not been his most well thought through day.

“Who knew you were such a rebel, nearly getting kicked out of a casino?” Emma asks, walking up to him and poking him in the chest after security finally lets him go. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“Darling, you barely know me.”

“True,” she slurs. “What do you say we get out of here since I don’t think security is going to let you keep playing?”

She stumbles, just briefly, and Killian grabs her waist, squeezing her hips. “I thought you said you didn’t want to leave the hotel.”

“Did I?”

“I think so.”

“Huh. Well, I’ve never been to Vegas. I’d like to explore. C’mon, Jones. Let’s go. It’s not like you have anything better to do.”

“No, love, I suppose I don’t.”

One minute he’s standing in the middle of the casino floor only inches away from Emma, and the next they’re walking hand in hand around the Venetian as Killian weaves some kind of story about how they’d tell Anna and her friends that they honeymooned in Italy and how they would absolutely eat that story up. He keeps thinking this isn’t real, that Emma shouldn’t still be standing next to him and that this is all a dream fueled by their sex, but she feels real.

She is definitely real.

And he’s very aware of how she’s clinging onto him in the small room that they’re in.

Wait. Weren’t they just outside? They were. They were also thinking about getting a gondola to ride, but now all of the sudden they’re in a room with the two of them, a few other people, and an Elvis impersonator.

What the fuck?

“You may now kiss your bride.”

Killian looks at Elvis before looking at Emma, and all the sudden he remembers walking into this chapel and remembers that he and Emma are getting married. She’s so pretty like this, her smile so bright, and he can’t quite believe she agreed to marry him. He thought he already had the one woman who would say yes to marrying him, but she eventually changed her mind. Now he’s got another chance.

This is a bloody brilliant idea.

Quickly, Killian bends his knees and dips his head down until his mouth is pressing against Emma’s.

-/-

Emma Swan is kissing him.

Emma. Swan. Is. Kissing. Him.

Killian knows how she kisses. He remembers how she moves her lips and how she knows how to perfectly move between aggressive and careful, and he knows that’s exactly what she’s doing right now.

The thing is, he can’t quite believe it’s real.

That she’s real.

He hasn’t seen her in two weeks. The Academy has been kicking his ass six ways to Sunday, and all he’s done is go to training, come home to eat and study, fall asleep, and then wake up and do it all again. He’s been awful at keeping up with his relationships and with his runs with Emma, and he kept meaning to call her. It was killing him that he kept blowing her off, but then he’d get called away and the thought would slip his mind.

How could Emma Swan have ever slipped his mind?

That’s something he’s been asking himself for months now as he desperately tries to remember every single detail of the day they met and the hours following. Only bits and pieces have come back after they slept together, and as much as he wants to know what happened, maybe it’s better if he never remembers.

Maybe it’s better if he leaves in the here and now because Emma is doing this particularly delicious thing with her tongue that has his heart pounding.  

This is about the last thing he ever expected to happen when he told her they were married and that they’d need an annulment.

God, they were supposed to go out to celebrate the annulment.

Emma starts to move away, her mouth fleetingly leaving his, but he doesn’t let her, wrapping one arm around her back and pulling her toward him while his other hand grabs onto her ponytail and gently tilts her head in the way that he wants to. She got to kiss him the way she wanted, and he damn well intends to get the same opportunity.

Now that the initial shock of her being here is over, now that he knows with complete certainty that this is real, he can feel the softness of her lips and the glorious way that her breasts press into his chest. He’s felt all of these things before, but it wasn’t like this. The last time was different. It was in a buzzed haze of lust and champagne, and while he feels the slightest buzz now, it’s nothing that would make him forget.

How could he ever again?

“Emma,” he whispers as he pulls back, resting his forehead against hers while they both pant, trying to catch their breaths, “what’s happening?”

And then he’s being shoved backward until he’s stumbling back into his apartment and Emma is following behind him. She’s strong, but she shouldn’t have been able to shove him backward as much as she did. Then again, showing up and kissing the holy hell out of him is the exact way to catch him off guard so that he’d stumble over practically anything.

What the hell is happening?

Now that he’s looking at her, he can see the fury in her eyes and the way that her hair is falling out of her ponytail. She’s covered in a light sheen of sweat, and when he looks down at her feet, he sees that she’s in her running shoes.

In the weirdest way, he’s missed those shoes.

She ran here.

“It takes five seconds to text,” Emma pants. His body is having a difficult time ignoring the rasp of her voice and the sweat on her skin, especially as it trickles down between her breasts. “It takes five seconds for you to tell me whatever the hell has been going on that you haven’t been able to go on our runs or get dinner or do whatever the hell it is that we do. Because do you know how it looks to me when I tell you about how shitty people have treated me only for you to practically disappear the next day? Do you know how shitty it felt to get our annulment papers and then have you disappear? Because I thought – I thought we – ”

“We did. We do.”

Her brows shoot to her hairline. “We what?”

Killian takes a step forward, close enough to grab Emma’s hand, but he doesn’t. “We were friends. Are. We are friends, love. I also thought that we might possibly be more. You kissing me kind of confirms that for me.”

Her cheeks turn the prettiest shade of red, and the corners of Killian’s lips tug up. He bets she hates herself for blushing right now. “I’ve kissed you before. You don’t know that it means something.”

Impossible. She’s absolutely impossible.

He rather likes that about her. Quite a lot actually. Definitely more than he ever expected to when he met her.

Definitely more than he ever expected to like anyone again.

“I do.”

“How?”

He braves the next step and moves closer to her, tucking a lose strand of her hair behind her ear. She doesn’t move away, and he has to hold in his exhale of relief.

“Don’t you know, Emma? It’s you. You make me sure of things I’d otherwise be unsure of, and you give me hope I haven’t felt in a long time.”

Her eyes are wider than he’s ever seen them, and unlike so many other days in his life where there’s nothing extraordinary happening, he knows that this is one that could change so much. “Your eyes are so beautiful, sweetheart. I don’t think I’ve seen anything like them before.”

“Do lines like that work on all of the girls?”

“I really only care if they work on you.” Emma huffs, and Killian dips his head down to hover his lips directly over Emma’s. He can feel her breath and the heat of her body. He can feel everything. “I’ve been having my ass kicked by training. I’m so exhausted day in and day out that I barely remember to eat. Not being able to run with you, not being able to have you take the piss out of me over my smoothie choices, has been torture. I didn’t want to leave you when the papers came in. I – ”

For the second time in five minutes, Emma slams her lips into his. She’s a force of nature, this one, and he’s not sure what to do.

Well, besides kiss her.

He’s completely blindsided by her being here, by her doing this, and somewhere in a small corner of his mind, he knows they should talk. He’s been burned enough times by physical relationships that he knows exactly how things like this go, but this isn’t that. This is a bloody confusing relationship that he couldn’t put into words if he tried.

“Are we – ”

“Yes.”

“Do you – ”

“Yes.”

Killian laughs into Emma’s mouth as she pushes him back into his apartment, his feet nearly tripping over Will’s bloody out of place shoes. “You don’t even know what I was going to ask.”

Emma stops kissing him, pulling back as he chases her lips, but he stops right before he captures them once more. “You were going to ask if we were going to have sex.”

“I was going to ask if you wanted to get dinner. A man likes to be courted.”

Her brow raises. “Are you serious?”

It’s nearly impossible for him to hold back his laugh. “Swan, there is literally nothing in the world I want more right now than to have you, but I need you to know that this isn’t going to be just sex for me, not like it was the first time. I know you now. I know the sound of your laugh and how you act when you don’t have coffee or food. I know, well, I know you more than I think either of us expected to get to know each other, and I don’t want this to be a one-time thing.”

He knows Emma well enough to know there’s a chance she’s about to walk back out his front door, but saying that was worth the risk. He doesn’t want to start something that’s going to end up hurting them both.

God, he should have found the time to call her this week. And last week. He’s got to apologize to her again.

Her chest heaves, the sweat there beginning to dry, and she opens her mouth only to snap it closed. “It’s not going to be a one-time thing. It means more to me now, too.”

“Good.”

He can’t seem to stray far from Emma, his hands running along the sides of her neck before falling down to her arms, and the way she’s working a spot on his neck is absolutely divine. She’s intoxicating, and every breath is not enough. That should terrify him. Hell, it should have him running out his own front door. This spark that runs hotly between them isn’t entirely new to him, and the last time it blew up in his face.

This has all the potential to do the same.

Or not.

“Is Will home?” Emma murmurs as they walk back toward his bedroom.

“At work.”

“Good. Wouldn’t want him walking out of his room and seeing this.” “It’d be quite the show.”

Emma pushes against his chest, but he easily grabs her waist and turns her around until he’s the one guiding her. She didn’t know where they were going anyway, was simply aimlessly guiding him until his back hit a wall and until her sweatshirt was left on the hallway floor. There’s so much happening right now that reminds him of their night in Vegas – the fumbling with clothes and heated kisses against walls as heat continues to simmer below his skin – but he knows this is different.

She knows it, too, which may be the best part of all.

A lifetime ago, he’d have despised himself for thinking things like that when a woman was undressing in front of him, but that was the past. This here and now? It’s better.

They’ve made it to his bedroom now, and his heart beats in a heavy pattern while his erection is tenting his sweatpants. It’s incredibly uncomfortable at this point, but he doesn’t intend to rush this. Not when things are so tentative and not when he’s been waiting for this moment.

“Oh my God,” Emma groans.

“Darling, I don’t think that’s the way you’re supposed to say those words in this particular situation. It’s supposed to sound a tad more…pleasant.”

“I can’t get my damn sports bra off.” “What?” Killian laughs, backing away from her to look at her as she tugs on her bra.

“I’m sweaty. Or, like, I was. I literally ran here. I can’t fucking get it off.”

His laughter keeps bubbling in his chest, mixing in with the heat between his legs and his focus on getting some kind of relief, but Emma is standing in his bedroom, half-naked, and she can’t get her damn bra off.

“I am probably the sexiest woman you’ve ever slept with, right?”

“Aye,” Killian says, completely serious. He steps forward and leans down to press his lips to her collarbone as he tugs the material of her bra up. It is stuck, but with a little willpower, he pulls it up and off of Emma until it’s falling to the ground so that she’s bare to him. “You are.”

Her cheeks flush red, and that flush moves down toward her breasts. It’s a beautiful sight with which he cannot wait to become more acquainted.  

“Shut up and get on the bed.”

“So demanding, lass.”

She rolls her eyes. “I don’t know about you, but I ran a few miles to get here, and I think I’m running on limited time before my body decides to stop working.”

“I haven’t slept more than four hours a night in two weeks.”

“So this is about to be really good sex then?”

“Aye, absolutely.”

Emma falls back onto the bed, and Killian cages her in, moving his mouth of hers and licking into her mouth while his fingers trail down her body, one hand palming her breast while the other finds the slickness between her thighs. He groans at the feeling, at knowing this is for him, and it doesn’t take long before her thighs are quivering from his ministrations. She’s very nearly there, her back arched off the bed, and this is better than any and all of his memories.

“Condom,” Emma pants. “Get a fucking condom.”

“I – ”

“Please do not make the joke I know you’re going to make.”

Killian huffs and curls his fingers inside of her once more before pulling out and leaving a soft kiss to her inner thigh, watching as her skin twitches with his touch. He quickly gets the condom from the box in his bedside drawer, rolling it on and wondering why the hell that takes so long, before he moves to hover over Emma again. She doesn’t let him, though, encouraging him to lay on his back as she straddles his hips and curls her fingers into his chest hair.

“This is a new side of you, love.”

“I’ve got a few of those.”

He arches a brow. “Really, now?”

“Hold your horses, tiger. One at a time. I’m not some kind of contortionist energizer bunny.”

He bites his cheek, a comeback on the tip of his tongue, but then Emma is guiding him into her, the warmth of her surrounding him, and all of the breath leaves his body at the feel of her.

Bloody hell.

He can already feel his release licking at his spine, but it’s too soon. There’s so much left to be done, and he’s not some teenage boy who’s going to fall apart at first touch.

Emma looks ethereal above him, even under the harsh lighting of his bedroom, and he watches as her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks and a smile curves at her lips. And then she starts moving. It’s slow and steady at first, the both of them testing each other out, but then his hands grab onto her hips and she really starts moving.

It’s like nothing he’s ever experienced before. “You’re absolutely everything,” he breathes. “Bloody magnificent.”

“Killian, I – ”

He nods and leans up to wrap his arms around her back, pulling her toward him so their chests brush together, and then he’s carefully flipping them around, slipping out of her for a moment before slamming back in. They’re both almost there, bodies shaking and breaths gone, and he’s purposeful with his thrusts and with the way he moves his hand where they’re joined until Emma sucks in a sharp breath and begins to fall, becoming more glorious by the second. He works her through it, letting her wide out the waves, but then he starts fucking her in earnest until his own release is thrumming at the base of his spine and working through him.

Killian collapses on top of her, crushing her with his weight before propping himself up on his elbows so he can look down at her and the absolutely goofy grin on her face. He’d like to see that more often.

“Better than the first time, aye?”

Emma laughs and reaches up to push his sweat-soaked hair off his forehead. “It’s not a competition, but yeah, better than the first.”

Killian huffs and falls to her side, quickly pulling off the condom and tying it before dumping it into the trash. “You should show up to my apartment more often then.”

Emma turns on the bed and reaches around to pull the comforter up over her. He grabs it and helps tug it up over both of them while Emma inches closer to him, leaning down and kissing his collarbone. He could go again if his body would let him, the adrenaline giving him more energy than he’s had in weeks, but it’s not going to last long.

“Was it really just that you were busy?” Emma asks. “It wasn’t – ”

Killian adjusts his arm under her shoulder and trails his fingers down her back while his other hand tries to smooth back some of her hair. “I should have made time for you. I wanted to. I will from now on. Love, I promise that it wasn’t because the annulment papers came in. I, well…”

“What?”

“I was happy when they came in. It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders, but a part of me was also terrified that you’d have nothing to do with me now that we had no reason to still be talking.”

Emma’s lips fall open before snapping shut. “I felt the same way.” 

“Yeah?”

She nods her head, looking at him with a small smile, before letting her head fall back against the pillow. Their noses are so close they’re almost touching.

The freckles on her cheeks are mesmerizing.

“If you haven’t worn me out, because I definitely plan on the two of us doing that again, I will go running with you in the morning.”

“What about training? Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Aye, but I think I’ll be able to survive. I’m a survivor, Swan. I also think I owe you a smoothie.”

“You owe me about ten smoothies.”

Killian chuckles and closes his eyes before opening them back up to the brilliant shade of green of Emma’s eyes. “I think I can handle that.”

“So, Jones,” she whispers, her own lips threatening to turn into a smile far brighter than the small one she’s been keeping since they started talking in the afterglow of it all, “I think we should go on a date.”

His brow arches. He wasn’t expecting that. He should have been, but they’re all sorts of messy right now. He’s not even exactly sure what he should be expecting when it comes to Emma.

He can’t wait to find out.

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one asking you out?”

“You are so old-fashioned.”

“Now, darling, I believe I fucked you, married you, annulled that marriage, fucked you again, and then agreed to date you. In that order. What could possibly be old-fashioned about that?”

Emma chuckles and leans forward to kiss him again. He wants to get used to that. “Did you agree to me asking you out? I don’t remember hearing that.”

Her eyes roll. She’s exasperated by him, but it’s not like it was at the beginning. It’s not true annoyance. It’s something entirely different.

Better.

Definitely, definitely better.

“I’d love to go on a date with you, Emma Swan.”

“Good.”

-/-

-/-

They get married three years later.

It’s pouring down rain, a July storm coming in and surprising everyone, and Killian can barely hear David officiating the ceremony over the sound of the water hitting the ground around him and flooding into the Charles river. They wanted to do it by the damn bench that’s paint was messed up from the man sitting on wet paint all those years ago, had planned on it for a few weeks now, only to show up today and find that the city had finally fixed the bench after three years of it being messed up.

All of the signs were there for them to cancel these plans. There’s no special meaning to today, simply a date they picked on the calendar that was close enough to the day they met and fit their schedules, and they could have changed it when they found out it was going to rain.

Emma didn’t want to.

He didn’t either.

Killian’s wearing his dress uniform, and Emma has on a short, emerald green dress that hugs her curves and is driving him mad every time he looks at her. They were already dressed when it started pouring, and they both pretty much said what the hell. Why not? That’s kind of been their motto through the whole thing.  

They’re both wearing wellies.  

As are all of their friends.

They look ridiculous. He knows that they do, but he wouldn’t have it any other way when it comes to the love of his life and her happiness.

Neither of them ever wanted to legitimately get married, not after everything, but it’s funny how things change when you find the right person who’s willing to wade deep into the waters of life with you.

It’s funny how things change when you meet a woman whose eyes are another kind of green.

-/-

-/-

tag list: @xemmaloveskillianx​ @therealstartraveller776​ @stahlop @shardminds @carpedzem @captainsjedi  @galaxyzxstark @thejollyroger-writer @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @xellewoods @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @shireness-says @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @a-faekindagirl @ultimiflos @jamif @dreameronarooftop15 @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke  @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @teamhook @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @superchocovian @ultraluckycatnd @cs-forlife @andiirivera @qualitycoffeethings @jonirobinson64 @mariakov81 @spartanguard @snowbellewells  @onepunintendid​ @bluewildcatfanatic​

[artleaguemdcnorth]

Painting Class First Day of Class 9/27/2021

Hello students, Welcome to the 2021-1 Fall Semester  

Students where sent an email over the weekend with instructions for the following course:

ART2500C  or ART2502C (Painting 1 and Advanced Painting Class ) Mon/Weds 12:20 - 3:40 pm  Blended Format  

You also received a class syllabus and a link to meet virtually via TEAMS. The virtually first class meet is scheduled for  Monday 9/27/2021 at 12:30pm.

This link was sent to your  school ID (mymdc account).    

Make sure you rsvp as soon as you receive it.

     You are responsible for reading this entire email. 

    I understand that some of you might be first year students, so I have also included a document on proper ways of interacting with your professor. I am cordially asking all students to please adhere to those instructions regarding sending all communication to me.   

  https://www.bestcolleges.com/blog/email-etiquette-in-college/ 

  Please read below the format for these classes as we will begin a blended format this semester. 

Note that most of the semester will continue in a remote format.  

Next week I will send information on the dates for in person meetings. This will be done with space limitations, meaning only a specific number of students will attend in person at any given time. I will advise on those issues during our first meeting on Monday via Teams.  

I will be your instructor.    

I am Professor Alena Fresquet , I teach the foundations courses at MDC North.    

I am also a Mix Media and Installation artist. I received my MFA degree on 8/2000 and I have been teaching at MDC since 2001.    

I use the following platforms for teaching, TEAMS, Twitter and Tumblr.    

I will not be using Blackboard at all during the semester.   I will discuss further on Monday, the reasons why I use the above platforms instead of Bb.     For now, just know that this has been a staple of my teaching since before the pandemic and I have used it successfully since 2009.    

I encourage you to go through the class blog here to see how  other students have engaged in learning during the Spring ,Summer and Fall semesters using these platforms.

Also review my twitter handle @Prof_AFresquet so you can see how I interact during class time with students.     When classes begin, I will be posting information regarding class assignments and lecture on this blog:

https://artleaguemdcnorth.tumblr.com/  

I monitor your work and attendance during class in the following ways:  

1)     TEAMS , when we have virtual meets   2)     https://twitter.com/prof_afresquet?lang=en  (Twitter ) 3)     Your personal Tumblr blog when you submit work for review.  

You will follow me on twitter using my class handle shown here:      

@Prof_AFresquet .    

And you will follow the class blog when class assignments are posted.  

On the first day of class, you will use the class time after our TEAMS meeting to create both a Twitter account and a Tumblr account.    

1)      In both the Tumblr and Twitter handle, use your name and include your class (ART2500C or ART2502C ) in the bio. You will read additional instructions regarding your first Tumblr post and first tweet on the class blog on Monday after our virtual meet .

For the TEAMS meeting today, make sure you accept the invite to enter the room on Monday at the start of class. 

Try to be in the waiting room 10 minutes before the meeting. Once I start it is impossible for me to break out to let people into the chat.  

Try to review the class materials and write any questions you have regarding them to ask during the meeting.

As of this writing a return to in person learning in the Fall has been postponed. MDC continues to function in phase 2. This class is a blended course so we will meet remotely for the start of the semester and as the semester progresses, we will meet in person several times.  

I will create a list of the days we will be in person in the next few weeks.  

Most likely, I will leave in person interaction for critiques and project presentations. 

  For now, know that I am here to help you navigate this semester.  

Please let me know if there are special needs you require to succeed before classes begin so we can work towards helping you learn as seamless as possible.    

Tips for navigating the semester start by having good study skills and proper school conduct. 

That means that even though we are having a virtual interaction, you should still do the following:  

1) Turn your computer on ten minutes before class to make sure everything is working properly when we have virtual meets. That means video, mic and sound.   2) I encourage you to dress up for class accordingly and be ready to learn in an adult and proper manner.     3) Work on developing good study skills, discipline and on task qualities to fulfill the class assignments.   4) Aim to maintain excellent time management skills and self-discipline. I recommend that students use the allotted class time to complete class assignments.  

I follow attendance guidelines, if you are not on the TEAMS meeting or assignments are have not posted work to your Tumblr portfolio by the due dates it means you are not doing the class work.  

Keep yourself on task, on time and ready to learn.         I encourage you to work on those skills so that you can have a successful semester.     If at any time during the semester you become sick or encounter any personal difficulties that inhibit your ability to comply with your studies, please reach out to me accordingly. 

The sooner we deal with a situation the quicker we can resolve it.       I look forward to working with you and helping you achieve these goals.     We will talk more on Monday , the first day of class…      

Material list information:

Canvassette  or Canvas Paper 9 x12 or 12 x 16

Canvas pad or Canvas  ( 12 x 16 or 16 x 20 )

Acrylic Set Beginners - Golden , Liquitex, Winstor Newton

Selection of Acrylic brushes 

RECAP FOR TODAY -

FIRST DAY OF CLASS PAINTING ALL STUDENTS

1)    CREATE A TWITTER ACCOUNT 2)    FOLLOW ME AT MY HANDLE @Prof_AFresquet 3)    CREATE A TUMBLR ACCOUNT 4)    FIND A BOOK that depicts the life and work of a Painter see list below.

 BUY CLASS MATERIALS

HOMEWORK

A) Send me a tweet include a picture of your chosen artist.

B) First post for tumblr , review through first chapter of your book then write a brief summary. ( One paragraph ) Publish.

C) IN YOUR SKETCHBOOK, BEGINNING TODAY-

1) Choose an artist from the list below. 2) You will choose one of the artist’s work (still life only) and you will create in your own style a rendition of their work.

NOTE: Choose only a painting from the artists list below that depicts a ‘still Life’ scene.

If you are not familiar with the term ‘still life’ please look it up in an artist’s dictionary or art book.

Here are some suggestions of artists :

Cezanne, Van Gogh, Monet, Matisse, Suzanne Valadon, Jacob Lawrence Alice Neel, Marie Cassatt, Audrey Flack, Berthe Morisot, Remedios Varo Pierre Bonnard, Picasso, Degas, John Singer Sargent, Dali , Georges Seurat .

Final thought, the first assignment will give you an idea of how to paint a still life and how to create interesting compositions for painted narratives.